SAYING EMINEM SHOULD LEAVE THIS
COUNTRY BECAUSE HE TOOK A KNEE DURING THE SUPER BOWL.
>> LET'S GET RIGHT TO EMINEM TAKING A KNEE.
WHY DOESN'T HE GO TO ANOTHER COUNTRY?
TAKE YOUR KNEE SOMEPLACE ELSE. WHAT KIND OF COUNTRY ARE WE
BECOMING? >> AND NOW A REBUTTAL FROM
EMINEM. ♪♪♪
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT! TONIGHT, DID IT AGAIN.
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES MARGARET BRENNAN AND ADAM SCOTT,
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN."
AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( THEME SONG PLAYING ) >> Stephen: OH!
WHAT A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES! HEY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: WHOO!
OH, WHOA! >> Stephen: HEY, FRIENDS!
>> Jon: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? ( PIANO RIFF )
>> Stephen: SO NICE. WELCOME.
WELCOME ONE AND ALL. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
THE BIG STORY -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
-- FOR THOSE OF YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO THE WORLD OUTSIDE,
THE BIG STORY CONTINUES TO BE GEO POLITICAL INTRIGUE.
RUSSIA AMASSED 150,000 TROOPS ON THE UKRAINE BORDER BUT BOONT
SAID THEY'RE NOT INVADING, SO IT'S A REAL CASE OF THEY WILL OR
THEY DEFINITELY WILL. LAST NIGHT U.S. INTELLIGENCE
ANNOUNCED INSTEAD OF RUSSIA PULLING BACK LIKE THEY CLAIMED,
RUSSIA HAS ADDED 7,000 TROOPS ALONG UKRAINE'S BORDER.
OH, RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA. MY --
THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT SCENE IN "LORD OF THE RINGS:"
>> WE'RE ACTUALLY RETREATING! >> GIVE PEACE A CHANCE!
>> STEPHEN: SOME PEOPLE "ARE" TRYING TO DE-ESCALATE
TENSIONS. FOR EXAMPLE, IN NEIGHBORING
MOLDOVA, A PILOT OF A PASSENGER PLANE AT UKRAINE'S BORDER USED
HIS FLIGHT PATH TO DRAW THE WORD "RELAX."
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A NICE SENTIMENT, BUT I
PREFER MY PILOTS TO BE A LITTLE NOT-RELAXED.
(AS PILOT) "THIS IS YOUR PILOT SPEAKING,
WE'VE LOST BOTH ENGINES, BUT I'M CHILLIN' UP HERE IN THE
COCKPIT. I'VE TURNED OFF THE FASTEN
SEATBELT SIGN BECAUSE IT WAS HARSHING MY MELLOW.
WE'LL HAVE YOU ON THE GROUND IN JUST A COUPLE OF SECONDS, WAVE
HELLO TO THE FIRE TRUCKS AS WE SKID FLAMING BY THEM."
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
SPEAKING OF INTERNATIONAL CONFLICT: THE OLYMPICS.
YOU MIGHT REMEMBER THAT AFTER THE RUSSIANS WON GOLD IN TEAM
FIGURE SKATING LAST WEEK, IT WAS REVEALED THAT ONE OF THEIR
TOP COMPETITORS HAD FAILED A DRUG TEST BEFORE THE GAMES
BEGAN. WHILE THAT CASE IS BEING
APPEALED, NONE OF THE TEAMS ARE GETTING THEIR MEDALS, INCLUDING
THE AMERICANS WHO FINISHED SECOND.
AS A CONSOLATION GIFT TEAM U.S.A. WILL REPORTEDLY
RECEIVE OLYMPIC TORCHES. YES, THAT'S THE SMART PEOPLE DO
WHEN YOU'VE REALLY PISSED SOME PEOPLE OFF.
HAND THEM A TORCH. EVIDENTLY, THEY WERE OUT OF
OLYMPIC PITCHFORKS. A HAPPIER MOMENT WAS PROVIDED BY
THE CAPTAIN OF THE JAPANESE WOMEN'S CURLING TEAM
SATSUKI FUJISAWA. THE CAMERAS PICKED UP
THIS MESSAGE SHE WROTE TO HERSELF ON HER HAND:
"I'M A GOOD CURLER. I HAVE CONFIDENCE. LET'S HAVE FUN!"
ISN'T THAT NICE? THAT'S VERY SWEET.
>> Jon: VERY SWEET MESSAGE. ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THAT MESSAGE REMINDS ME OF MY
OWN HAND-BASED SELF-AFFIRMATION "I AM GOOD AT MONOLOGUE.
I HAVE CONFIDENCE." "IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATRE." ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THERE'S JUST A LITTLE SLIDE OUT FRONT THEY COULD JUST SLIDE ME
RIGHT IN. >> Jon: JUST SLIDE YOU RIGHT
IN. >> Stephen: NORTH OF THE
BORDER, A BUNCH OF CANADIAN TRUCKERS CONTINUE TO
PROTEST VACCINE MANDATES. WE'VE GOT AN UPDATE IN OUR
KETCHUP-FLAVORED SEGMENT: "WHOA, CANADA!"
( HONK HONK ) >> STEPHEN: EARLIER THIS WEEK,
CANADA DECLARED A STATE OF EMERGENCY, BUT TRUCKERS ARE
STILL OCCUPYING DOWNTOWN OTTAWA.
AND OTTAWA RESIDENTS HAVE HAD ENOUGH, AS YOU CAN SEE IN THIS
VIRAL CLIP OF ONE MAN CONFRONTING THE TRUCKERS:
>> JUST TO BE SURE IT'S CLEAR ( BLEEP ) YOU.
SHUT UP. SHUT UP AND GO ( BLEEP )
YOURSELF. ( BLEEP ) YOU AND TAKE YOUR
( BLEEP )ING... I DON'T GIVE A ( BLEEP ).
I DON'T GIVE A ( BLEEP ) ABOUT YOU.
GO THE ( BLEEP ) HOME. NOBODY ( BLEEP ) CARES ABOUT
YOUR BULL( BLEEP ). >> Stephen: KEEP IN MIND --
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SURE.
>> Jon: A LOT OF F-BOMBS. WHOO!
>> STEPHEN: KEEP IN MIND, HE'S CANADIAN, SO THAT'S THE POLITE
VERSION. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT AS WITH ANYTHING THAT PISSES PEOPLE OFF, AMERICAN
CONSERVATIVES ARE ALL FOR IT. SPECIFICALLY, MYPILLOW C.E.O.
MIKE LINDELL, SEEN HERE CALLING 911 TO REPORT A HORSE THAT'S
BEEN STARING AT HIM. ( LAUGHTER )
LINDELL HAS A PLAN TO SUPPORT THE CANADIAN TRUCKERS, AND
YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT IT IS. SEND THEM A BUNCH OF MYPILLOWS.
( LAUGHTER ) OK, YOU GUESSED.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ASKING. STEVE, WILL THERE BE ENOUGH
MYPILLOWS TO GO AROUND? YES, GAIL.
BECAUSE LINDELL LOADED UP A TRUCK WITH 10,000 PILLOWS.
ALMOST AS MANY AS ON THE BED IN YOUR GREAT AUNT'S GUEST ROOM.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THOSE SHAMS ARE NOT FOR
SLEEPING! THESE PROTESTORS ARE CAMPED OUT
IN THE COLD. THEY NEED FOOD AND FUEL, NOT
10,000 PILLOWS. IN THE WORDS OF ONE GREAT
CANADIAN: ( IRONIC BY ALANIS MORISSETTE )
>> ALANIS: IT'S LIKE 10,000 >> (MALE VOICE DUB) MY PILLOWS
>> ALANIS: WHEN ALL YOU NEED IS A KNIFE, IT'S LIKE MEETING THE
MAN OF MY DREAMS, AND THEN MEETING HIS BEAUTIFUL
>> (MALE VOICE DUB) PILLOW. >> Stephen: BEAUTIFUL SONG.
BEAUTIFUL SONG. IT'S NOT JUST PILLOWS FOR
HARD-PROTESTIN' GROWNUPS. THERE'S ALSO SOME FOR THE KIDS.
>> WE SENT A WHOLE TRUCKLOAD OF THESE - ABOUT I DON'T KNOW, A
THOUSAND OF THESE >> OHH, I LOVE!
>> THESE ARE BIBLE PILLOWS FOR THE KIDS UP THERE. WE GOT
NOAH'S ARK AND STUFF. >> STEPHEN: YES, NOAH'S ARK ON A
PILLOW. PERFECT FOR GETTING YOUR LITTLE ONES TO
SLEEP. (AS PARENT)
"BEDTIME, HONEY. REMEMBER, GOD WILL DROWN "YOU"
FOR "MY" SINS, AND SPARE ONLY THE HORNIEST LIVESTOCK.
G'NIGHT!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
TRUE STORY. BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
SO, LINDELL LOADED UP HIS PILLOW
CONVOY AND HEADED FOR THE BORDER, WHERE HE WAS
IMMEDIATELY TURNED BACK BECAUSE HE WAS NOT FULLY VACCINATED AND
DID NOT HAVE A NEGATIVE P.C.R. TEST.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: COME ON, MAN!
COME ON! >> Stephen: HE COULDN'T
SUPPORT THE VAX MANDATE PROTESTORS BECAUSE HE
WASN'T FULLY VAXXED. HOW CAN YOU DESCRIBE THAT?
( IRONIC BY ALANIS MORISSETTE ) >> ALANIS: ISN'T IT IRONIC,
DON'T YOU THINK? >> Stephen: THANK YOU,
DR. MORISSETTE. BUT LINDELL'S GOT A BACKUP PLAN
TO SMUGGLE IN MUCH-NEEDED PILLOWS: HE'S GOING TO DROP THEM
FROM THE SKY VIA HELICOPTER. OK, SO THE CANADIAN BORDER
GUARDS ARE STOPPING HIM FROM DRIVING INTO THE COUNTRY.
SO HE'S PLAYING IT SAFE BY USING A HELICOPTER TO VIOLATE THEIR
AIRSPACE. GOOD THING HE'S GOT THOSE 10,000
PILLOWS. THEY CAN CUSHION THE FALL WHEN
THE CANADIAN AIRFORCE SHOOTS HIM DOWN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SPEAKING OF, THEY HAVE AN
AIR FORCE, RIGHT? THEY JUST STRAP A PISTOL TO A
GOOSE. SPEAKING OF CRASHES, THERE'S
NEWS FROM THE HIGH-FLYING, LOW-TRANSPARENCY WORLD OF
DIGITAL INVESTMENTS, AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN MY NEW
SEGMENT "TALES FROM THE CRYPTO." >> "AXE ME TO EXPLAIN
BLOCKCHAIN! HAHAHAHAHA!
I CAN'T." >> STEPHEN: FIRST UP IN THE
CRYPTO CRYPT, J.P. MORGAN CHASE JUST OPENED A LOUNGE IN THE
METAVERSE. AWESOME.
BECAUSE WHEN I HEARD THAT THERE WAS A VIRTUAL WORLD WHERE YOU
CAN BE ANYONE AND DO ANYTHING, MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS:
"BOY, I HOPE I CAN STILL GO TO THE BANK."
( LAUGHTER ) DO THE D.M.V. NEXT!
THE LOUNGE IS CALLED "ONYX" AND IT'S IN A VIRTUAL VERSION OF
TOKYO'S HARAJUKU SHOPPING DISTRICT, CALLED "META-JUKU."
SO THEY JUST PUT META ON EVERYTHING TO MAKE NEW WORDS.
LET ME TRY! THAT META-BLOWS.
( LAUGHTER ) WHAT'S IT LIKE INSIDE THE
VIRTUAL SPACE? WELL, A TIGER WANDERS THE FIRST
FLOOR, AND A PICTURE OF THE BANK'S BOSS JAMIE DIMON HANGS ON
THE WALL. WHOA!
THAT WENT FROM COOL TO LAME AWFUL FAST.
IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SAYING, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I GOT YOU A CAR... RIDE WITH JAMIE DIMON."
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THERE'S MORE, BECAUSE AFTER
YOU ENTER THE LOUNGE, A WINDING STAIRCASE LEADS TO THE SECOND
FLOOR, WHERE A PERSON'S AVATAR CAN WATCH EXPERTS TALK ABOUT THE
CRYPTO MARKET. AND HOPEFULLY, ANOTHER WINDING
STAIRCASE THAT LEADS TO THE TOP OF THE BUILDING SO YOUR AVATAR
CAN LEAP TO ITS DEATH. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT'S NOT REAL. >> Jon: IT'S AN AVATAR.
>> Stephen: OUR NEXT STORY CENTERS AROUND
FORMER FIRST LADY AND WOMAN AT THE BOOK CLUB WHO HOPES YOU'RE
JOKING ABOUT READING TA-NEHISI COATES NEXT WEEK,
MELANIA. RECENTLY, MELANIA HELD AN
AUCTION FOR A COLLECTION OF N.F.T.S ON THE "SOLANA"
BLOCKCHAIN. OF COURSE, THE SOLANA BLOCKCHAIN
IS SIMILAR TO THE ETHERIUM BLOCKCHAIN IN THAT IF YOUR
TINDER DATE STARTS TALKING ABOUT EITHER OF THEM, GET OUT OF THAT
APPLEBEES. LEAVE YOUR COAT.
YOU CAN GET ANOTHER ONE. THE AUCTION WAS CALLED THE
"HEAD OF STATE COLLECTION" AND INCLUDED A WATERCOLOR OF THE
FORMER FIRST LADY WEARING THE HAT, AND A DIGITAL ARTWORK
N.F.T. OF THE WATERCOLOR OF HER WEARING THE HAT.
WHAT IS IT WITH THIS FAMILY AND SCAMMING PEOPLE WITH HATS?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
NOW, THE MINIMUM BID WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT $250,000,
PAYABLE ONLY IN THE CRYPTOCURRENCY OF THE SOLANA
BLOCKCHAIN. ONLY PROBLEM, BETWEEN THE TIME
THE AUCTION WAS ANNOUNCED AND THE TIME IT STARTED, THAT
TYPE OF CRYPTO PLUMMETED FROM $170 PER TOKEN TO $95 PER
TOKEN. THAT'S GONNA BE CONFUSING FOR
THE AUCTIONEER. (AUCTIONEER)
"I GOT A BID AT 500. NOW THAT SAME BID FOR 250.
WHOOPS. NOW IT'S BACK UP TO 375.
CAN I GET A BID IN REAL MONEY? REAL MONEY... REAL MONEY...
AND "SOLD" TO THE MAN WITH 75 CENTS IN NICKELS!"
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
BUT DESPITE THE CURRENCY FLUCTUATIONS, MELANIA'S HAT GOT
A BUYER! AND THE WINNER WAS...
MELANIA! BECAUSE THE MONEY THAT WON
MELANIA'S N.F.T. CAME FROM MELANIA'S OWN DIGITAL
WALLET. IT WAS HER OWN HAT, HER OWN
WATERCOLOR, AND HER OWN N.F.T., PAID FOR WITH HER OWN MONEY.
(SINGING) "IT'S THE CIIIIIRCLE OF GRIFT!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT, MY GUESTS ARE MARGARET
BRENNAN AND ADAM SCOTT. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
MEANWHILE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SNOOP JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN," EVERYBODY!
RIGHT OVER THERE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( JON LAUGHING ) >> Stephen: JON, I GOT RIGHT
HERE I'M TALKING TONIGHT -- WE HAVE TWO LOVELY GUESTS THIS
EVENING FROM "FACE THE NATION," THE HOST OF "FACE THE NATION"
WITH MARGARET BRENNAN. MARGARET BRENNAN IS GOING TO BE
OUT HERE. >> Jon: MARGARET BRENNAN IS IN
THE HOUSE ♪ ♪ GN YEAH, YEAH, MARGARET ♪
>> Stephen: THE LOVELY AND TALENTED ADAM SCOTT IS GOING TO
BE OUT HERE. HE'S ON THE NEW "SEVERANCE" ON
APPLE TV. JON, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY.
DID YOU GET OUTSIDE AT ALL? >> Jon: YES, I DID.
>> Stephen: VERY STRANGE NEW YORK DAY.
15 ON MONDAY, AND 65 TODAY? >> Jon: YEAH, FELT GOOD, GOOD
AT A TO PLAY PICKUP BALL. >> Stephen: DID YOU PLAY?
>> Jon: NO. >> Stephen: THIS ONE GOT AWAY
FROM YOU. >> Jon: YEAH, GOT AWAY FROM
ME. >> Stephen: WHAT I HEAR, IT'S
SO WARM IN VANCOUVER RIGHT NOW, YOU COULD GROW A PALM TREE UP
THERE. >> Jon: OH, YEAH!
I HEARD THAT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: FOLKS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME
RIGHT OVER THERE, COMBING THROUGH THE DAY'S NEWS AND
CAREFULLY SELECTING THE MOST PRISTINE OPALESCENT GLASS
STORIES, ORNATELY FUSING THE PIECES USING ONLY THE MOST
TOPICAL COPPER WIRE AND LEAD CASING BEFORE COLORING THEM WITH
THE MOST PIGMENT-RICH JOKES AVAILABLE TO CONSTRUCT FOR YOU
THE ELEGANT STAINED-GLASS TIFFANY DOME THAT IS MY NIGHTLY
MONOLOGUE. BUT SOMETIMES, I JOLT AWAKE
BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A '79 BUICK REGAL LOWRIDER WHILE DOING
DONUTS IN THE PARKING LOT OF A BOARDED UP JOANNE FABRICS, WHEN
I CLIP A BARREL FIRE AND I'M THROWN FROM THE CAR INTO THE
DUMPSTERS. THERE, I RUMMAGE THROUGH THE
BITS OF BROKEN FANTA BOTTLES, AND GLUE THEM TOGETHER WITH
STILL-WARM CHEWING GUM, AND STAIN THEM WITH WHATEVER
REMNANTS I CAN SCRAPE FROM OLD KETCHUP AND FUN-DIP PACKETS.
THEN I DOUSE MY PANTS IN KEROSENE AND LET 'ER BLAZE TO
PROJECT THE DEMENTED NIGHTMARE KALEIDOSCOPE OF NEWS THAT IS MY
SEGMENT:
>> STEPHEN: MEANWHILE, IN HONOR OF VALENTINE'S DAY, THIS WEEK,
SANDWICH CHAIN PANERA IS GIVING AWAY
DIAMOND RINGS IN BREAD BOWL BOXES.
SO IT IS NOW OFFICIALLY EASIER TO GET A DIAMOND RING FROM
PANERA THAN IT IS TO GET THE BATHROOM CODE.
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, ACTOR, AND PERSONAL
FRIEND OF MINE PATRICK WILSON, SURPRISED MANY PEOPLE RECENTLY
WHEN HE TOLD AN INTERVIEWER "I'VE EATEN DOG POOP."
( LAUGHTER ) AND IF YOU THINK THAT'S WEIRD,
THE QUESTION WAS HOW ARE YOU? ( LAUGHTER )
PATRICK -- AGAIN, PERSONAL FRIEND -- HI --
MADE THE SURPRISING CONFESSION WHEN AN INTERVIEWER, FOR SOME
REASON, ASKED HIM, WHAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE PUT IN YOUR
MOUTH? AND WILSON REPLIED
I'M SURE, IN MY QUEST TO PICK UP DOG CRAP, THAT I HAVE LICKED THE
BAG TO OPEN THE BAG, AND THEN IT'S ON MY HAND, AND I HAVE DOG
( BLEEP )IN THERE, TOO. OKAY, I HAVE BEEN A DOG OWNER
FOR MANY YEARS, AND I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS.
FIRST OF ALL, QUEST TO PICK UP DOG CRAP?
ARE YOU THROWING YOURS INTO MOUNT DOOM?
SECOND, THAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER PUT IN YOUR MOUTH?
SO YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO WHITE CASTLE?
( LAUGHTER ) WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER,
PATRICK. MEANWHILE, A BROOKLYN BONE
COLLECTOR HAS OVER 200 SKELETONS, SPINES, AND SKULLS IN
HIS HOME. THAT'S INSANE.
THERE ARE APARTMENTS IN BROOKLYN BIG ENOUGH FOR 200 SKELETONS?
# ( LAUGHTER )
YOU COULD OPEN THE FRONT DOOR
FROM THE TOILET! ACCORDING TO THE BONE MAN, HIS
WORK IS ENTIRELY ABOVE-BOARD. TELLING REPORTERS
I ONLY WORK WITH MEDICAL BONES, WHICH IS WHAT DOCTORS AND
OSTEOLOGISTS USE FOR STUDYING. MOST OF THE BONES I ACQUIRE ARE
PASSED DOWN FROM DOCTORS OR MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS.
MOST OF THE BONES? ( LAUGHTER )
THAT'S NOT COMFORTING. OH YOU KNOW, MOST ARE FROM
DOCTORS. THE OTHERS ARE FROM REPORTERS
WHO ASKED TOO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT WHERE ALL MY BONES COME
FROM. WANT SOME TEA IN MY SOUNDPROOF
CLOSET? ( LAUGHTER )
MEANWHILE, THE IDAHO POTATO COMMISSION HAS LAUNCHED A
LIMITED-EDITION FRENCH FRY SCENTED PERFUME.
PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO'S THOUGHT, I WISH MORE PEOPLE
THOUGHT I WORKED AT WENDY'S. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( BAND P) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW."
MY FIRST GUEST IS CBS NEWS' CHIEF FOREIGN
AFFAIRS CORRESPONDENT AND MODERATOR OF "FACE THE NATION
WITH MARGARET BRENNAN." PLEASE WELCOME
MARGARET BRENNAN! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
>> Stephen: HI, MARGARET BRENNAN.
>> HI, HOW ARE YOU? >> Stephen: I'M GOOD.
BESIDES BEING THE HOST OF "FACE THE NATION" WITH MARGARET
BRENNAN, YOU ARE CBS'S CHIEF FOREIGN AFFAIRS CORRESPONDENT,
AND WE HAVE FOREIGN AFFAIRS GOING ON OVER IN UKRAINE.
>> WE DO. >> Stephen: DOES ANYONE KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON? WE WERE PROMISED THERE WOULD BE
AN INVASION ON FEBRUARY 16. THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
BIDEN IS SAYING ANY DAY NOW. WHAT'S GOING ON?
DO YOU HAVE ANY SENSE FROM YOUR GUESTS WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> I CAN TELL YOU ON THE TIME LINE, ALL THE BELLS INTELLIGENCE
SERVICES IN THE WORLD ARE TRYING TO NAIL THIS DOWN AND GET INSIDE
VLADIMIR PUTIN'S HEAD, WHAT THEY KNOW AND WHAT WESTERN
INTELLIGENCE SERVICES KNEW IS THEY WERE TOLD TO GO BY THE
16th TO BE READY FOR AN INVASION.
THAT'S WHAT THE MILITARY WAS TOLD.
BUT NOW ACCORDING TO MY SOURCES WITHIN THE NEXT FOUR TO FIVE
DAYS IS WHEN THEY MAY START THE SECOND HALF OF WHAT APPEARS TO
BE A MILITARY ATTACK THAT THEY ALREADY BE UNDERWAY.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MIGHT ALREADY BE UNDERWAY?
WOULDN'T WE KNOW IF IT WAS ALREADY UNDERWAY BECAUSE WE
WOULD SEE THE ATTACK? >> IF YOU THINK OF THIS IN TERMS
OF 1941 TANKS ROLLING ACROSS THE BORDER THAT IS UNMISTAKABLE
ABSOLUTELY YES. BUT IN TERMS OF WHAT THE BIDEN
ADMINISTRATION IS DESCRIBING IS SORT OF THIS PHASE ONE OF
CYBERATTACKS, OF DISINFORMATION, OF STAGING AN INCIDENT IN THE
EASTERN PART OF THE COUNTRY AND, TODAY, YOU HEARD THAT FROM
SECRETARY BLINKEN AT THE UNITED NATIONS LAY OUT WHAT THEY ARE
LOOKING FOR IN TERMS OF A PREDICATE FOR AN INVASION.
IT COULD BE A CHEMICAL WEAPONS ATTACK, A FALSE TERRORIST
ATTACK, AN ACTUAL ATTACK BUT STAGED BY THE RUNNINGS AGAINST
THEIR OWN PEOPLE, SOMETHING TO ALLOW VLADIMIR PUTIN TO SAY I
HAD TO CHOICE, I HAVE TO ATTACK. >> Stephen: BY HIS OWN PEOPLE,
DO THEY MEAN PEOPLE INSIDE OF RUSSIA, OR ETHNICALLY PEOPLE IN
DUNN BASS IN EASTERN UKRAINE. >> BOTH SCENARIOS LAID OUT BY
THE SECRETARY OF STATE TODAY. SO, IN THE DONBAS AREA
SOUTHEASTERN PART OF UKRAINE, THERE'S BEEN FIGHTING THERE FOR
THE PAST EIGHT YEARS. REMEMBER, VLADIMIR PUTIN BACK IN
2014 DID GO IN AND SEIZE TERRITORY.
HE HAS ALREADY DONE THIS. HE HAS TAKEN CRIMEA, HE HAS HAD
THESE AREAS IN THE SOUTHEAST, IN THE DONBAS WHERE --
>> Stephen: AND THIS IS WHERE 14,000 PEOPLE HAVE DIED IN THE
WAR SO FAR. >> ACTUAL FIGHTING, ABSOLUTELY.
IN THESE BREAKAWAY REPUBLICS, THAT IS WHERE THE WORLD IS
FOCUSED NOW BECAUSE YOU HAD SHELLING TODAY.
A KINDERGARTEN, YOU PROBABLY SAW THE IMAGES OF THAT.
A DRUM BEAT IS BUILDING. SOMETHING THAT WOULD ALLOW FOR
THE JUSTIFICATION BY VACCINE PASSPORT TO DO SOMETHING, AND
THERE'S A SLIVER OF A CHANCE OF DIPLOMACY, AND THE WORLD IS
GRABBING AT IT TRYING TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT.
>> Stephen: SO PUTIN, AND I THINK MAYBE LAVROV, HIS FOREIGN
MINISTER SAID, NO, WE'RE PULLING OUT, OR THEY ALLOWED CAMERAS IN
WHILE LAVROV IS REPORTING TO PUTIN THE TROOPS ARE GOING BACK
TO THE BARRACKS, THIS IMPLICATION THEY'RE PULLING BACK
FROM THE FRONT. BUT WE HAVE SATELLITE IMAGERY
THEY'RE GOING, BRIDGES BUILT ACROSS RIVERS SO TANKS CAN GO
ACROSS. IS THIS INFORMATION FOR THEIR
OWN DOMESTIC CONSUMPTION? THEY HAVE TO KNOW WE HAVE
SATELLITES, THEY INVENTED THEM. ( LAUGHTER )
>> MORE THAN 60% TO HAVE THE RUSSIAN ARMY IS ON HIGH ALERT
POISED AT UKRAINE'S BORDER. THEY HAVE MOVED IN FIELD
HOSPITALS AND BLOOD SUPPLIES. SO THOSE ARE THE KIND OF
INDICATORS THAT SAY MAYBE THIS ISN'T JUST AN EXERCISE AND
SUNDAY THE 20th IS THE DATE THE EXERCISES ARE SCHEDULED TO
END. SO THAT'S A HARD DATE ON THE
CALENDAR TO TEST THE PREMISE WHETHER VLADIMIR PUTIN'S CLAIM
THAT THIS IS ALL JUST AN EXERCISE IS FOR REAL.
BUT IT DEFINITELY, FOR ALL THE PEOPLE I TALK TO IN THE
INTELLIGENCE WORLD SAY THIS IS ONLY BUILDING, THIS IS ONLY
ESCALATING. AND THE FEAR HERE AND THE REASON
THAT THIS IS SUCH A FOCAL POINT IS THAT IT'S NOT JUST A STORY
ABOUT UKRAINE, ALTHOUGH OBVIOUSLY ANY LOSS OF LIFE
THERE, I MEAN, THE ESTIMATES, YOU COULD HAVE UP TO 100,000
DEAD IN CASUALTIES, THE FEAR IS IT DOESN'T STOP THERE, THAT THIS
IS A TEST OF WILLS AND THE TEST OF WHETHER THE WEST REALLY WILL,
THIS TIME, SAY TO VLADIMIR PUTIN, NO, YOU CAN'T GO ANY
FURTHER BECAUSE, IN 2014, HE TESTED THE WORLD, AND THEN
VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN AND PRESIDENT OBAMA SANCTIONED HIM
AND IT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T DISSUADE HIM FROM TRYING AGAIN.
>> Stephen: WE'LL TAKE A QUICK BREAK AND COME BACK AND I'LL ASK
MARGARET ABOUT UKRAINE AND THE POSSIBILITY OF JOINING N.A.T.O.
STICK AROUND. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH A HOST OF
"FACE THE NATION" WITH MARGARET BRENNAN.
MARGARET BRENNAN, THERE'S A LOT OF TALK ABOUT INCREASED
SANCTIONS, AND I DON'T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND WHAT THOSE INCREASED
SANCTIONS WOULD BE, BUT THERE IS A LOT OF TALK ABOUT THESE WOULD
TRULY BE PUNISHING, THESE WOULD BE A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL OF
SANCTIONS. WHAT WOULD WE DO TO HIM?
WOULD WE CUT OFF RUSSIA ENTIRELY FROM ANY INTERNATIONAL BANKING?
WILL WE CUT OFF THEIR ABILITY TO SELL OIL?
WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD IS THE NEUTRON BOMB.
>> THE SLEDGEHAMMER. >> Stephen: WHAT ARE THEY
TALKING ABOUT? >> FINANCIAL WAR IS WHAT THE
WEST AND THE PRESIDENT BIDEN IS WILLING TO DO.
HE IS NOT WILLING TO SEND IN COMBAT TROOPS TO DEFEND UKRAINE,
THOUGH HE SAYS HE'LL SEND THEM INTO THE 30 COUNTRIES TO THE
BORDER. IF PRESIDENT PUTIN PUSHES
FARTHER, CLOSER TO N.A.T.O., WEE ARE IN A HIGH RISK CATEGORY.
IT'S NOT CLEAR WHAT WOULD TRICKER THE SANCTIONS, BUT IF
IT'S OVERT, IT WOULD BE CUTTING OFF VLADIMIR PUTIN'S TO THE
DOLLAR TO TRY TO FREEZE TRANSACTIONS, IT WOULD BE
CUTTING OFF KEY BITS OF TECHNOLOGY, EXPORTS, IMPORTS,
THINGS IMPORTANT TO HIS INDUSTRIES.
THE POINT THEY THINK THEY CAN SQUEEZE HIM IS HURTING THEOLOGY
GARKS, THOSE AROUND HIM. NOT NECESSARILY VLADIMIR PUTIN
HIMSELF BUT ALL THE GUYS WHO HAVE MONEY PARKED IN LONDON,
GERMANY AND ASSETS ALL AROUND THE WORLD, CAN THEY FREEZE THOSE
AN PUT THE SQUEEZE ON VLADIMIR PUTIN THAT WAY?
THAT'S WHAT'S BEING LOOKED AT RIGHT NOW.
BUT YOU HAVE VLADIMIR PUTIN FLY TO BEIJING LIKE HE DID A FEW
WEEKS AGO, STAND NEXT TO THE PRESIDENT OF CHINA AND SAY THIS
IS A NEW ERA AND WE HAVE AN ALLIANCE AND TRY TO CHALLENGE
THE IDEA THAT THE WEST CAN CONTROL HIM, THOUGH THE BIDEN
ADMINISTRATION WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW, THE U.S. DOLLAR IS STILL
SO DOMINANT THAT HE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE REPLACED OR BE
REPLACED BY BEIJING. >> Stephen: UKRAINE SUFFERED
ITS LARGEST EVER CYBERATTACK THIS WEEK AND, YOU KNOW, NO ONE
IS, YOU KNOW, CERTAIN THAT IT'S RUSSIA BUT EVERYONE IS
ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT IT'S RUSSIA.
( LAUGHTER ) BLINKEN SAID, ON YOUR SHOW,
THREE WEEKS AGO, THAT IF RUSSIA EXECUTED A CYBERATTACK, THERE
WOULD BE A SWIFT AND UNITED RESPONSE FROM THE U.S. AND
EUROPE. >> IT RUEING.
RIGHT.>> Stephen: HAS ANYONE INE ADMINISTRATION SAID THERE WOULD
BE A RESPONSE TO THE LATEST LATT CYBERATTACK?
>> IF YOU DON'T ATTRIBUTE IT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING
ABOUT IT FOR A LITTLE BIT OF TIME.
>> Stephen: THAT'S INTERESTING.
>> ONCE YOU DO, THEN YOU GET PEOPLE LIKE ME SAYING, OKAY, YOU
ATTRIBUTED IT, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
THERE'S A LITTLE WIGGLE ROOM HERE.
THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION, THE GREAT POWERS, THE GERMAN
CHANCELLOR WAS FLYING BACK AND FORTH TO MOSCOW, THE PRESIDENT.
THEY'RE TRYING TO FIND ANY WINDOW OF DIPLOMACY.
THE SECRETARY SAILED I'M ON THE PLANE TO MEET LAVROV.
IPRESIDENT BIDEN SAID IF YOU GO AFTER OUR COMPANIES, YOU WILL
PAY THE PRICE BECAUSE WHAT RUSSIA HAS DONE IS USED UKRAINE
AS A TEST CASE FOR CYBERATTACKS IN THE PAST.
OF COURSE, THEY'D DENY THIS, BUT IN 2017, YOU HAD A DEVASTATING
CYBER ATTACK THAT RULED OUT IN GLOBAL IMPACT.
SO, AS YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING'S CONNECTED THESE DAYS AND
ATTACKING UKRAINE DOESN'T NECESSARILY STAY IN THE COMPUTER
SYSTEMS IN UKRAINE. >> Stephen: LET ME THROW OUT
AN IDEA HERE, AND I'M NOT TRYING TO ADVICE VLADIMIR PUTIN TO DO
OR NOT DO ANYTHING, EVEN THOUGH I'M SURE HE'S WATCHING RIGHT
NOW. BIG FAN.
( LAUGHTER ) >> OPEN INVITATION TO SUNDAY'S
PROGRAM. >> Stephen: STILL HAVE A SLOT?
YOU KNOW, I THINK I COULD MAKE TIME.
I THINK I COULD. ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: PUTIN SEEMS OBSESSED WITH UKRAINE, BESIDES
WANTING TO RESTORE THE OLD SOVIET SATELLITE STATES, THE
EMPIRE, THE SOVIET UNION BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE FEELS THREATENED
BY N.A.T.O. AND UKRAINE ENDS UP BEING A BUFFER AND ONE OF THINK
THOUGHTS, UNLESS I'M WRONG, IS HE'LL PULL OUT IF THE U.S.
DEFINITELY SAYS WE'LL NEVER INCLUDE UKRAINE IN N.A.T.O.
BUT DOES HE HAVE TO GO IN NOW AND TAKE OVER UKRAINE BECAUSE
BASED ON THIS LEVEL OF THREAT THE MINUTE HE PULLS AWAY ISN'T
UKRAINE GOING TO SAY OKAY WE'LL JOIN N.A.T.O. BECAUSE THE REASON
WHICH CAN'T FULLY DEFEND UKRAINE IS BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT A MEMBER
OF N.A.T.O. SO HE HAS TO CRUSH THEM.
JUST GAMING IT OUT. >> Stehen: WE DID INVITE THEM
BACK IN 2008, AND UKRAINE ISN'T THERE YET.
PRESIDENT BIDEN SAID THEY'RE NOT GOING TO JOIN ANYTIME SOON
BECAUSE THEY CAN'T MEET THE STANDARD BY WHICH THEY COULD BE
N.A.T.O. MEMBERS. BUT THE UNITED STATES IS NOT
WILLING TO PULL BACK THAT INVITATION.
IT'S LIKE THEY'RE HANGING OUT THERE, HOPING TO MAKE IT IN,
THEY'RE A PARTNER, NOT FULLY A MEMBER.
LONG STORY SHORT, THIS IS ONE TO HAVE THE REASONS THE WEST SAYS
WHAT VLADIMIR PUTIN IS DEMANDING IS THIS JUST MAXIMALIST POSITION
THAT THEY CAN'T RESPOND TO, BUT, ALSO, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE
REALLY WHATTETH ABOUT? >> NOW, BEFORE YOU GO, YOUR NEW
SHOW, NEW TITLE IN SEPTEMBER, IT WENT FROM ""FACE THE NATION"" TO
"FACE THE NATION ARE MARGARET BRENNAN."
ARE YOU DRUNK WITH THE POWER OF THE WORD "WITH."
>> YOU'RE A WITH . >> Stephen: I JUST CALL IT
"THE "LATE SHOW" WITH." >> I HEAR YOU CALL IT "THE
NATION FACE." >> Stephen: I CALL YOU "THE
NATION FACE." OUR NATION COULD HAVE A WORSE
FACE. >> WE COULD TALK TO CBS ABOUT
THE BRANDING. >> Stephen: YOU MEAN
PARAMOUNT? >> YES.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU EXCITED WE ALL WORK FOR PARAMOUNT NOW?
>> YES. >> Stephen: ME, TOO.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
GOOD TO SEE YOU. "FACE THE NATION" WITH MARGARET
BRENNAN" AIRS SUNDAY MORNINGS AT 10:30 ON CBS.
MARGARET BRENNAN, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAR OF
THE APPLE TV+ SHOW "SEVERANCE," ADAM SCOTT.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM
"PARKS AND RECREATION," "STEP BROTHERS," AND
"PARTY DOWN." HE NOW STARS IN THE APPLE TV+
SHOW, "SEVERANCE."
>> OKAY, MY NAME IS MARK, AND, UH, SO, I -- YOU KNOW, A FEW
YEARS BACK I WOKE UP ON THIS TABLE IN THIS ROOM, AND, UH, A
DISEMBODIED VOICE ASKED ME 19 TIMES WHO I WAS.
AND WHEN I REALIZED I COULDN'T ANSWER, I TOLD THAT VOICE I
WOULD FIND HIM AND KILL HIM. I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT.
I WAS SCARED, TOO. >> DID YOU KILL THE VOICE?
NO.
>> STEPHEN: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," ADAM SCOTT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Stephen: THANK YOU. OH, YEAH, I MADE IT OUT HERE
IN RECORD TIME. THIS FEELS LIKE A MASSIVE AMOUNT
OF PEOPLE. >> Stephen: IS IT NICE?
VERY NICE. >> Stephen: THIS IS LOVELY.
YES. >> Stephen: THIS IS 420
PEOPLE. >> 420.
>> Stephen: 420. YEAH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU ARRANGED THAT, RIGHT?
>> Stephen: I DID. RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THE STAR OF THE NEW SHOW "SEVERANCE," EXPLAIN TO
THE PEOPLE WHAT THIS IS. I WOULD.
MIND HAVING THIS CONCEPT. >> I THINK WE ALL WOULD.
THE SHOW IS ABOUT A WORLD IN WHICH YOU CAN GET A PROCEDURE
DONE WHERE YOU GET A CHIP IMPLANTED IN YOUR BRAIN BY WHICH
YOU GO TO WORK, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE IN THE OUTSIDE
WORLD, THEN WHEN YOU GO HOME YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR JOB IS,
SO YOU HAVE THESE TWO SEPARATE EXISTENCES, AND NEITHER THE
TWAIN SHALL MEET. >> Stephen: THAT'S KIND OF
GREAT BECAUSE IT SOLVES THE WORK LIFE BALANCE PROBLEM.
>> 100%. >> Stephen: BY ONLY HAVING ONE
OF THE LIVES AT A TIME. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THERE'S SOMETHING APPEALING ABOUT THAT.
I'M TERRIBLE AT THE WORK LIFE BALANCE.
>> RIGHT. >> Stephen: WHERE DO YOU RATE
YOUR ABILITY TO DEAL WITH WORK LIFE BALANCE?
>> ONE TO TEN. >> Stephen: ONE TO TEN, YEAH.
OAI DON'T KNOW, ONE? >> Stephen: REALLY?
EVERYTHING IS ONE THING NOW. IT'S ALWAYS LIKE IF I NEEDED TO
REALLY GET AWAY, I WOULD HAVE TO SET MY PHONE ON FIRE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND PUT IT IN A DRAWER WHILE
IT'S ON FIRE AND THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I WOULD BE ABLE TO SPEND
QUALITY TIME. >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A LIFE
OUTSIDE OF WORK? YOU'RE MARRIED, RIGHT?
>> YES. >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE KIDS.
I HAVE TWO TEENAGERS. >> Stephen: TWO TEENAGERS.
TWO TEENAGERS. >> Stephen: WOW, THAT'S A LOT
OF WORK. >> IT'S A LOT OF WORK.
IT'S A LOT OF WORK JUST GETTING THEIR ATTENTION IS WHAT I'VE
FOUND. YOU HAVE TEENAGERS, YES?
>> Stephen: I DID AT ONE POINT HAVE TEENAGERS.
I NO LONGER HAVE TEENAGERS. SUCH IS THE WHEEL OF TIME.
>> THAT'S HOW IT WORKS. >> Stephen: NOW I'M AN EMPTY
NESTER. JUST YOU HOLD ON.
HOW OLD ARE YOURS? >> 15 AND 13.
>> Stephen: BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, 16 AND 14.
AND THEN THAT'S JUST MATH. >> THAT HAPPENS?
>> Stephen: IT DOES. ( LAUGHTER )
WAT DO YOU DO? LET'S SAY YOU'RE NEVER REALLY
BALANCING WELL, BUT ON THE END OF A BUSY DAY, WHAT DO YOU DO TO
UNWIND? >> WELL, OKAY, THIS IS NOT
INTERESTING -- ( LAUGHTER )
READY? ( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS UNINTERESTING AND, I GUESS, BASIC, BUT THE iPad,
RIGHT? >> Stephen: I'M FAMILIAR.
OKAY. IF YOU TOLD 12-YEAR-OLD ME THAT
I WOULD HAVE A RECTANGULAR DEVICE THAT'S LIKE HALF AN INCH
THICK OR A QUARTER OF AN INCH, WHATEVER.
>> Stephen: I WOULD SAY HALF AN INCH IS A REALLY OLD
IPad. >> MINE'S FROM 2007.
THAT'S FINE, RIGHT? WHERE, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE ACCESS
TO THE WORLD'S FILM AND TELEVISION LIBRARIES AT JUST A
FEW TOUCHES. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS?
I WOULD HAVE ( BLEEP ) MY PANS AND RUN OUT OF THE ROOM.
NOW, I'M STILL JUST ENAMOURED WITH IT.
>> Stephen: IT'S PRETTY GREAT. I UNWIND, PUT IT ON MY CHEST
AND WATCH SEVEN MINUTES OF SOMETHING ON IT TO FALL ASLEEP.
IF YOU HAVE GOOD HEADPHONES, IT'S A CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE.
>> Stephen: BUT THEN YOU ROLL OVER ON THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE NIGHT IN AGONY. >> TRULY MY WIFE EVERY MORNING
IS LIKE, JEEZ, BECAUSE I'M THERE WITH MY GLASSES AND HEADPHONES
AND THE iPad IS ON MY FACE. >> Stephen: DO YOU WEAR A
MOUTH GUARD. >> I DO.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A SEXY LOOK.
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: YOU ARE REALLY
PAINT AGO PICTURE THERE. >> THANKS.
>> Stephen: YOU SHOT DURING COVID.
>> WE DID. >> Stephen: LUCKY TO BE
SHOOTING AT ALL DURING COVID. HOW DID THAT AFFECT THE
EXPERIENCE? BECAUSE WE SHOT DURING COVID BUT
THERE WAS NOBODY AROUND. IT WAS ME AND HIM AND HIM IN A
ROOM UPSTAIRS. >> IT WAS PRE-VAX AND COVID SO.
>> Stephen: TOUCHY. YEAH, COVID CLASSIC.
( LAUGHTER ) SO, YEAH, IT TOOK NINE MONTHS TO
SHOOT THE SHOW. THE ACTORS GET TO GO WITHOUT
MASKS, OBVIOUSLY, BUT THE CREW -- SO WE BONDED WITH
EVERYONE BUT WE NEVER REALLY SAW THEIR FACES.
AFTER SIX MONTHS I WOULD SEE SOMEONE IN THE PARKING LOT
WITHOUT THEIR MASK AND IT WAS WEIRDLY INTIMATE, LIKE I WAS
SEEING THEIR GENITALS OR SOMETHING.
THERE'S LIKE A WET CAVE ON YOUR FACE.
YEAH. ARE YOU GETTING IT?
>> Stephen: I'M GETTING IT. WET CAVE...
>> Stephen: DID ANYONE WAX THEIR FACES?
>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW, STEPHEN. >> Stephen: OKAY.
YOU'RE ALSO RE-LAUNCHING, REVISITING -- I'LL CALL IT A
CULT CLASSIC. >> SURE.
>> Stephen: BUT FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW EXPLAIN WHAT "PARTY
DOWN" WAS AND IS. >> SURE, "PARTY DOWN" WAS A SHOW
ON STARZ. WE ENDED -- FINISHED 12 YEARS
AGO, AND OUR FINAL EPISODE HAD SOMETHING LIKE 13,000 VIEWERS.
>> Stephen: WOW. O IT WAS NOT YET A CULT
CLASSIC AT THE TIME. BUT PEOPLE HAVE DISCOVERED IT IN
THE TIME SENSE, AND I THINK THAT'S PART OF WHAT MAKES IT
SPECIAL TO PEOPLE IS THAT THEY HAD TO DIG IT UP AND FIND IT
THEMSELVES, AND, SO, THEY FEEL SOME, LIKE, OWNERSHIP OVER IT,
WHICH THEY SHOULD, BECAUSE WE HAVE NOW STARTED UP AGAIN AND
REBOOTED BECAUSE OF THEM. >> Stephen: THERE YOU ARE.
BACK IN THE PINK BOW TIE. IT'S A CATERING COMPANY.
>> IT'S A SHOW ABOUT A CATERING COMPANY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WHAT'S IT LIKE
AFTER A DECADE -- 12 YEARS? >> 12 YEARS.
>> Stephen: 12 YEARS OF GETTING BACK INTO IT, IS IT EASY
OR STRANGE? YOU'VE HAD THIS WHOLE OTHER
CAREER SINCE THEN. >> IT'S REALLY STRANGE BUT
WONDERFUL. IT'S ALMOST A CLICHE BECAUSE
THERE ARE SO MANY REBOOTS OF SHOWS TO SAY YOU JUST FEEL LIKE
YOU PICK UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF. BUT IT REALLY DOES AND IT'S SO
FUN BECAUSE WE HAVE JANE AND MEGAN AND KEN AND MARTIN STAR
AND JENNIFER GARNER JOINED THE CAST THIS SEASON.
SHE'S DOING AN INCREDIBLE JOB. IT'S REALLY REALLY FUN.
YOU KNOW, WE ONLY GOT TWO SEASONS.
SO THERE IS SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS THERE, AND, SO, WE'RE
GETTING TO JUST KIND OF FINISH THE STORY HERE.
>> Stephen: IT COULD BE LIKE YOUR FIRST EPISODE COULD BEAT
YOUR FINALE RIGHT OUT -- >> YOU THINK SO?
>> Stephen: 13,000 PEOPLE. LET'S PUT SOME MONEY ON IT
RIGHT NOW. >> Stephen: I BET YOU 20 BUCKS
YOU BEAT YOUR FINALE. >> WELL, CAN WE BOTH BET FOR
BEATING THE FINALE? THAT'S NOT HOW BETS WORK,
THOUGH. >> Stephen: FINE.
THERE YOU GO. >> Stephen: "SEVERANCE"
APPEARS TOMORROW ON APPLE TV+. ADAM SCOTT, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE
LATE SHOW." JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOODNIGHT. ( THEME SONG PLAYING )