1 00:00:02,268 --> 00:00:05,171 THE FIRST RULE OF "FIGHT CLUB" BY TALKING ABOUT "FIGHT CLUB," 2 00:00:05,238 --> 00:00:09,809 BUT I HAVE TO HERE BECAUSE CHINA HAS RELEASED A DIFFERENT ENDING 3 00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:12,712 FOR THE FILM WHERE, SPOILER ALERT IN CASE YOU INTEND TO SEE 4 00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:15,715 THE CHINESE VERSION, INSTEAD OF FIREWORKS AND TAKING DOWN 5 00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:21,354 CONSUMERISM, YOU ONLY SEE THIS CAPTION EXPLAINING HOW POLICE 6 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:25,658 SAVED THE DAY, CAPTURED THE CRIMINALS AND SEND TYLER DURDEN TO THE INSANE ASYLUM. 7 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,045 >> I SEE DEAD PEOPLE. 8 00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:53,286 LISTEN TO ME, HATCHER, YOU'VE 9 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:56,256 GOT TO TELL 'EM, SOYLENT GREEN IS -- 10 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:03,430 >> SEE YOU NEXT SATURDAY. 11 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,572 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE 12 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:23,750 SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT! TONIGHT, STEPHEN WELCOMES KATE 13 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:36,095 AND OLIVER HUDSON. AND MUSICAL GUESTS ST. PAUL AND 14 00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:42,502 THE BROKEN BONES. FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY 15 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:43,803 HUMAN." LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED 16 00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:50,009 SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 17 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:57,217 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: 18 00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:05,959 >> Stephen: THANKS, EVERYBODY! 19 00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:12,398 BEAUTIFUL. PEACE BE WITH YOU. 20 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:20,139 ( AUDIENCE CHANTING ) ♪ I BELIEVE THE CHILDREN ARE 21 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:21,741 CHILDREN -- ♪ WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO "THE LATE 22 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,711 SHOW." I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. 23 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,813 IT IS OFFICIAL -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 24 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:38,658 -- AS OF 1230 THIS AFTERNOON, AMERICA IS GETTING A NEW 25 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:39,859 JURIST GRANDE SUPREME. THAT MEANS IT COMES WITH A 26 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,127 DOLLOP OF SOUR CREAM. BECAUSE, THIS AFTERNOON, WE GOT 27 00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:42,262 A RETIREMENT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM SUPREME COURT JUSTICE STEPHEN 28 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,563 BREYER, SEEN HERE UNDRESSING YOUR AMICUS BRIEFS WITH HIS 29 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:47,567 EYES. ( LAUGHTER ) 30 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,969 TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN INVITED THE 83-YEAR-OLD JUSTICE TO THE 31 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:53,540 WHITE HOUE TO ANNOUNCE THE RETIREMENT. 32 00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,875 OF COURSE, IT WAS A PARTICULARLY PATRIOTIC EVENT, BECAUSE IF YOU 33 00:02:55,942 --> 00:03:01,414 PUT THEIR AGES TOGETHER, IT ADDS UP TO 1776. 34 00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:10,523 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 35 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:11,858 THE PRESIDENT TALKED ABOUT HIS LONG HISTORY WITH BREYER. 36 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,927 >> WE WERE JOKING WITH ONE ANOTHER WHEN HE WALKED IN-- 37 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:17,730 DID WE EVER THINK THAT HE WOULD HAVE SERVED DECADES ON THE COURT 38 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,566 AND I'D BE THE PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES WHEN THE DAY HE 39 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:24,671 CAME TO RETIRE? I-- AND HE LOOKED AT IT AND-- 40 00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:29,409 I WON'T TELL YOU WHAT I SAID. I'M JOKING. 41 00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:34,647 ( LAUGHTER ) HE HIT THE -- HE HIT THE BEST 42 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:39,252 PART OF EVERY JOKE, EXTRA WORDS, NO ENERGY AND EXPLAINING IT'S A 43 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:42,922 JOKE. I TELL YA -- I TELEYA MOM -- I 44 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:50,330 GOT A -- I UH -- THIS FELLA HERS FELLA -- I WAS SAYING TO THIS 45 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:54,734 GUY OVER HERE YOUR MOM IS SO FAT SHE WENT TO CHURCH AND AT THE 46 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:58,938 CHURCH, SHE WAS THERE FOR A BAPTISM, AND SHE WAS BAPTIZED 47 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:05,044 AND IT WAS AT THE CHURCH AND THE CHURCH WAS SEAWORLD. 48 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:09,415 AND I DON'T WANT TELL YOU WHAT SHE SAID, I'M JOKING. 49 00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:12,018 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( APPLAUSE ) 50 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:20,560 IT'S QUALITY. IT'S QUALITY. 51 00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:21,928 JUSTICE BREYER TALKED ABOUT HOW HE AND HIS WIFE PAID HIS 52 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,162 GRANDCHILDREN TO MEMORIZE ONE OF LINCOLN'S GREATEST SPEECHES. 53 00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:24,263 >> JOANNA PAID EACH OF OUR GRANDCHILDREN A CERTAIN AMOUNT 54 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,800 OF MONEY TO MEMORIZE THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS. 55 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,402 THE REASON-- THE REASON THAT-- THAT-- THAT-- WHAT WE WANT THEM 56 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:33,373 TO PICK UP, THERE, AND WHAT I WANT THOSE STUDENTS TO PICK UP, 57 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:36,209 IF I CAN REMEMBER THE FIRST TWO LINES, IS THAT, "FOUR SCORE 58 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:37,677 AND SEVEN YEARS AGO, OUR FATHERS BROUGHT UPON... 59 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:42,315 CREATED THIS COUN... HEAR THIS A NEW COUNTRY. 60 00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:44,751 >> STEPHEN: (AS BREYER) "FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN FATHERS 61 00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:49,322 AGO, OUR... COUNTRY DID HEED THE-- 62 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:52,659 CALL OF NATURE, AND A TREE DID FALL IN THE WOODS WITH 63 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:53,826 NO-ONE TO HEAR IT. WAIT, LET ME START OVER. 64 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:57,397 FOUR SCORE AND 20 BLACKBIRDS BAKED IN A PIE AGO... 65 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:05,405 JOANNA, WHERE'S MY FIVE BUCKS?" JOANNA! 66 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:09,375 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IN FAIRNESS, I THINK JUSTICE 67 00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:13,179 BREYER WAS JUST DOING HIS IMPRESSION OF HOW LINCOLN WOULD 68 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:17,417 SOUND IF HE'D GIVEN THE SPEECH AFTER THE PLAY. 69 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,585 ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) >> Jon: WOW. 70 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,788 >> Stephen: WOW! >> Jon: YEAH. 71 00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,556 >> Stephen: TOO SOON. TOO SOON. 72 00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:29,395 >> Jon: AN HISTORICAL FIGURE. >> Stephen: BREYER'S 73 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:32,165 RETIREMENT MEANS BIDEN GETS TO APPOINT HIS REPLACEMENT. 74 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:33,433 AT THE RETIREMENT CEREMONY, BIDEN SPELLED OUT THE EXACT 75 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,667 QUALITIES HE'S LOOKING FOR IN A CANDIDATE: 76 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,769 >> THE PERSON I WILL NOMINATE WILL BE SOMEONE WITH 77 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,937 EXTRAORDINARY QUALIFICATIONS, CHARACTER, EXPERIENCE, AND 78 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:42,975 INTEGRITY. AND THAT PERSON WILL BE 79 00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:45,411 THE FIRST BLACK WOMAN EVER NOMINATED TO THE UNITED STATES 80 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,046 SUPREME COURT. >> STEPHEN: THAT WAS A MAJOR 81 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:51,684 CAMPAIGN PROMISE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 82 00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:54,454 PROMISES MADE, PROMISES KEPT. >> Jon: YEAH. 83 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,357 >> Stephen: HERE'S THE THING, THAT'S EXCITING TO HERE. 84 00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:01,360 NOW, BIDEN HASN'T RELEASED ANY NAMES YET, BUT THAT DIDN'T 85 00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,695 STOP FOX NEWS FROM SPECULATING YESTERDAY: 86 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:06,299 >> SO, THIS PERSON HAS TO BE A WOMAN, SHE HAS TO BE BLACK, 87 00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:07,366 AND SHE'S GOT TO BE YOUNGER. ANYONE THINKING WHAT I'M 88 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:10,403 THINKING? THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO 89 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,106 WITH KAMALA HARRIS IN THE WHITE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. 90 00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:14,173 >> IT'S A POSSIBILITY. I THINK SHE'S AT LEAST ON THE 91 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,675 SHORT LIST. I THINK IT'S A THEORY THAT COULD 92 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:19,145 BE CREDIBLE. >> STEPHEN: YES, ACCORDING TO 93 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,047 THEORETICAL SOURCES, THE NAME THEY YANKED OUT OF THEIR KEISTER 94 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:24,150 COULD BE CREDIBLE. POSSIBLY. 95 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,652 LET ME CLUE YOU IN, FOX NEWS. JOE BIDEN IS NOT NOMINATING 96 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:30,690 KAMALA HARRIS. IT'S A 50-50 SENATE, AND SHE 97 00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,592 CAN'T VOTE FOR HERSELF. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING: 98 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:36,429 "ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE." NO, IT ISN'T. 99 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:38,798 THERE IS NO POSSIBLE UNIVERSE IN WHICH THIS HAPPENS. 100 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:42,702 THANOS CAN SNAP THAT GLOVE ALL HE WANTS, BUT EVEN THE 101 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:50,710 INFINITY STONES COULDN'T PUT HER ON THE COURT. 102 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:55,148 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DR. STEPHEN STRANGE IS LIKE, 103 00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:56,349 "THE MULTIVERSE CONTAINS AN INFINITE NUMBER OF TIMELINES, 104 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:58,718 BUT IN ALL OF THEM, YOU'RE AN IDIOT." 105 00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:06,592 ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 106 00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:10,963 THIS SHOW IS NOW IN THE MCU. THERE ARE SOME NAMES OUT THERE 107 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:14,367 THAT ARE POSSIBILITIES, STARTING WITH U.S. COURT OF APPEALS JUDGE 108 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:17,703 KETANJI BROWN JACKSON. JUDGE JACKSON IS A HARVARD GRAD, 109 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:18,971 WHO CLERKED FOR BREYER, AND ALSO REPLACED MERRICK GARLAND ON THE 110 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:22,742 D.C. CIRCUIT. SHE MADE HEADLINES IN 2019 WHEN 111 00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:26,712 SHE RULED AGAINST THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION AND WROTE 112 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:31,484 "PRESIDENTS ARE NOT KINGS." ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 113 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:34,654 BOOM! >> Jon: COME ON! 114 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:39,625 ( PIANO RIFF ) >> Stephen: THOUGH, IT IS EASY 115 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:40,526 TO CONFUSE OUR FORMER PRESIDENT WITH THE 116 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,861 ROYALS. HE'S A RACIST WHO'S BEEN ACCUSED 117 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:46,699 OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, AND HIS KIDS SEEM A LITTLE INBRED. 118 00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:51,737 ( APPLAUSE ) JUST A LITTLE INBRED. 119 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:54,106 ANOTHER POSSIBLE PICK IS CALIFORNIA SUPREME COURT JUSTICE 120 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,843 LEONDRA KRUGER. THE CALIFORNIA SUPREME COURT IS 121 00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:59,245 EXACTLY LIKE THE U.S. SUPREME COURT, EXCEPT ALL OF THEIR 122 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:04,050 OPINIONS COME WITH AVOCADO. ( LAUGHTER ) 123 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:08,054 IT'S DELICIOUS. A LITTLE LIME JUICE. 124 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,556 JUSTICE KRUGER IS A YALE LAW SCHOOL GRAD, WHO WAS ACTING 125 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:13,025 DEPUTY SOLICITOR GENERAL IN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION, AND TWICE 126 00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:16,462 RECEIVED THE ATTORNEY GENERAL'S AWARD FOR EXCEPTIONAL SERVICE, 127 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,731 THE DEPARTMENT'S HIGHEST AWARD FOR EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE. 128 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:24,136 YES, EVEN HIGHER THAN THE F.B.I.'S CLEAN PLATE CLUB. 129 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,072 ( LAUGHTER ) ANOTHER POPULAR CONTENDER IS 130 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,541 SOUTH CAROLINA FEDERAL DISTRICT COURT JUDGE J. MICHELLE CHILDS. 131 00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,710 I THINK SHE HAS A GOOD CHANCE, BECAUSE THE J. STANDS FOR 132 00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:44,490 JUSTICE. ( APPLAUSE ) 133 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,858 I'M SORRY. AND, I'M BEING TOLD IT STANDS 134 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,761 FOR JULIANNA. STILL A LOVELY NAME. 135 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:50,696 WHICHEVER CANDIDATE BIDEN PICKS, SENATE MAJORITY LEADER CHUCK 136 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:54,700 SCHUMER PREDICTED THE CONFIRMATION PROCESS WOULD TAKE 137 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:58,671 PLACE SWIFTLY AND THAT A BIDEN NOMINEE WILL BE CONFIRMED WITH 138 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:01,507 "ALL DELIBERATE SPEED." AND IF CHUCK SCHUMER IS KNOWN 139 00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:06,679 FOR ANYTHING, IT'S LIGHTNING SPEED. 140 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:14,720 (AS SCHUMER) "WE ARE COMMITTED TO CONFIRMING 141 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:23,162 THE PRESIDENT'S NOMINEE, BU FIRST -- BUT FIRST -- 142 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:27,400 ( APPLAUSE ) -- WHO WANTS CHEESECAKE? 143 00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:28,634 ( LAUGHTER ) THE FOOD OF THE RAPID. 144 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:31,437 USAIN BOLT DOWNS AN ENTIRE JR.'S BEFORE HE RUNS THE 100." 145 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,473 THERE'S SOME BIG NEWS OUT OF DISNEYLAND. 146 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:37,076 THEY'RE UPDATING THE LOOK OF ONE OF THEIR MAJOR CHARACTERS, 147 00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,744 BECAUSE MINNIE MOUSE IS DITCHING HER ICONIC RED DRESS FOR A 148 00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:41,814 PANTSUIT. UNFORTUNATELY, DONALD DUCK IS 149 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:48,621 STILL RUNNING AROUND WITH HIS CLOACA OUT. 150 00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:50,923 JUST WAVING IN THE WIND. ( LAUGHTER ) 151 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,326 IT'S NOT RIGHT. IT'S NOT RIGHT AT ALL, JON. 152 00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:56,028 >> Jon: YEAH, I KNOW. >> Stephen: SHOCKING CHILDREN. 153 00:09:56,095 --> 00:10:01,968 >> Jon: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. >> Stephen: MINNIE'S NEW LOOK 154 00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:03,502 WILL DEBUT IN MARCH AT DISNEYLAND PARIS, WHICH 155 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:08,808 IS JUST LIKE REGULAR DISNEYLAND, ONLY MORE EXISTENTIAL. 156 00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:20,853 ( FRENCH MUSIC ) ( APPLAUSE ) 157 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:25,591 (TERRIBLE FRENCH ACCENT) "IT EES A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL, 158 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,760 AND, AN INDIFFERENT ONE. OH, PLUTO, LOOK AT THE MESS 159 00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:32,865 YOU'VE MADE. EH, LEAVE IT. 160 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:42,641 DEATH WAITS FOR US ALL. HA-HA!" 161 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:53,986 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 162 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,488 IT'S A FUN LITTLE STORY, AND YOU'D HAVE TO BE A DESPERATE 163 00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:59,091 CULTURE WAR TROLL TO TAKE ISSUE WITH IT. 164 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,993 WHICH IS WHY FOX NEWS TOOK ISSUE WITH IT. 165 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,962 >> THEY ARE TRYING TO DESTROY THE FABRIC OF OUR SOCIETY-- IT 166 00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:07,066 GOES BACK TO WHEN THEY DID THIS WITH THE M&M'S, AND NOW THEY ARE 167 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:10,202 MAKING HER MORE MASCULINE. >> STEPHEN: YES, THEY'RE MAKING 168 00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:11,537 MINNIE TOO MASCULINE. I THINK SHE SHOULD GO ALL 169 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,607 THE WAY BACK TO THE ORIGINAL, SUPER-FEMININE MINNIE MOUSE: 170 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:17,143 SMOOSHED PUMPKIN WITH A FLOWER GROWING OUT OF IT. 171 00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:20,880 NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL HOT STUFF LADY PARTS! 172 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:25,284 IN LOCAL NEWS NEWS, A KENTUCKY METEOROLOGIST IS GOING VIRAL. 173 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,186 SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT WHY. >> IT'S 42 IN BEDFORD. 174 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:32,892 I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW COLD THIS AIR IS-- 175 00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,226 (FARTS) IT'S 8 IN DES MOINES, IOWA. 176 00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:40,499 >> STEPHEN: WOW! DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT? 177 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:44,870 IT'S GOING TO BE EIGHT DEGREES IN DES MOINES! 178 00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:47,273 OH, AND ALSO, YES, THAT MAN PAUSED, PINNED THE CAMERA, AND 179 00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:50,709 PASSED GAS THAT WAS EVIDENTLY SO POWERFUL THAT IT LIFTED HIM 180 00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:57,416 OFF THE GROUND. I'M NOT IMAGINING THAT, RIGHT? 181 00:11:57,483 --> 00:12:06,692 IT ACTUALLY PROPELLED HIM OUT OF HIS FLOOR SHIMS. 182 00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:08,594 THE VIDEO'S HAS BEEN CROPDUSTING THE INTERNET EVER SINCE SOMEONE 183 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,529 POSTED IT ON TWITTER, AND PEOPLE ARE GETTING THEIR JOLLIES AT 184 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:11,797 THIS GUY'S EXPENSE. HA-HA. 185 00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,266 IT IS TO LAUGH. BUT I'M NOT LAUGHING. 186 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:15,601 EVERYBODY FARTS. AND ANYONE WHO WATCHES THE NEWS 187 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,838 KNOWS IT'S AN UNRELENTING PARADE OF DREAD. 188 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:22,708 BUT THIS BRAVE WEATHERMAN STEPPED FORWARD TO CUT THE 189 00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:26,679 TENSION, AND WITH THE WIND AT HIS BACK, GAVE US ALL A BREATH 190 00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:29,515 OF FRESH AIR. THEIR, SIR! 191 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:33,486 AND HE'S NOT THE FIRST PATRIOTIC JOURNALIST WHO BROKE MORE THAN 192 00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:37,857 JUST NEWS, JIM! >> AND THAT'S THE WAY IT IS, 193 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:42,795 FRIDAY, MARCH 6, 1981. THIS HAS BEEN "CBS EVENING NEWS" 194 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:46,432 WITH WALTER CRONKITE. (LONG FART) 195 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,067 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: ANYBODY -- THAT 196 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,503 HAPPENED. THAT HAPPENED. 197 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:56,909 THAT'S ARCHIVE FOOTAGE. THAT HAPPENED. 198 00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,677 ANYBODY HERE HAVE KIDS? IF SO, I HOPE THEY'RE ASLEEP, 199 00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,613 BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO SHOW A PICTURE OF WISCONSIN SENATOR AND 200 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:02,715 NATURAL CAVE FORMED AFTER MILLIONS OF YEARS OF LIMESTONE 201 00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:08,888 EROSION, RON JOHNSON. THIS WEEK, JOHNSON GAVE AN 202 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,689 INTERVIEW WHERE HE EXPLAINED WHY HE OPPOSED THE CHILDCARE SUBSIDY 203 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:14,326 FOR WORKING PARENTS: >> PEOPLE DECIDE TO HAVE 204 00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:18,898 FAMILIES AND BECOME PARENTS. THAT'S SOMETHING THEY NEED TO 205 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:26,705 CONSIDER WHEN THEY MAKE THAT CHOICE. 206 00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:30,709 I'VE NEVER REALLY FELT IT WAS SOCIETY'S RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE 207 00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,878 CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN. >> STEPHEN: YES, IT'S NEVER BEEN 208 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:37,449 SOCIETY'S RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN. 209 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:38,951 THAT'S WHY, WHEN A SHIP IS SINKING, EVERYONE SAYS "WOMEN 210 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,887 AND CHILDREN FIRST. UNLESS THEY'RE NOT MY KIDS. 211 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:44,857 IN THAT CASE, LET'S LASH THEM TOGETHER AND MAKE A RAFT!" 212 00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:50,162 OKAY, I'VE GOT TO POINT OUT THAT CHILDREN GROW UP TO BE 213 00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,831 PEOPLE, AND A RECENT STUDY CONFIRMED THAT CASH AID TO 214 00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,700 POOR MOTHERS INCREASES BRAIN ACTIVITY IN BABIES. 215 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,102 SO, QUICK! SOMEONE SEND SOME MONEY TO 216 00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:02,708 RON JOHNSON'S MOTHER, AND PRAY THAT IT WORKS RETROACTIVELY! 217 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:10,716 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) JOHNSON DOUBLED DOWN ON HIS 218 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,218 TOUGH-ON-BABIES STANCE YESTERDAY, TWEETING: 219 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:15,020 "THE LEFT WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO RUN THE FAMILY. 220 00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,756 I BELIEVE THE PARENTS DO." IT'S TRUE. 221 00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:20,593 JUST LIKE IT SAYS IN RON JOHNSON'S CAMPAIGN THEME SONG. 222 00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:29,168 ( TO THE TUNE OF "GREATEST LOVE OF ALL" ) 223 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:32,371 ( CHEERING ) ♪ I BELIEVE THE CHILDREN ARE A 224 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:47,319 MY GUESTS ARE KATE AND OLIVER 225 00:14:47,386 --> 00:15:32,665 MY GUESTS ARE KATE AND OLIVER 226 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:33,799 HUDSON. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 227 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:38,003 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, AN UPDATE ON MATT GAETZ-GATE! 228 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:39,004 STICK AROUND! 229 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:29,955 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 230 00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:36,595 JON BATISTE AND STAY WITH US STN BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN" RIGHT 231 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:41,667 OVER THERE! THERE IT IS! 232 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:45,137 ♪♪ ♪♪ 233 00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,639 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: JOHN, WE'RE GOING 234 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:51,310 TO BE TALKING TO KATE AND OLIVER HUDSON. 235 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,145 THEY HAVE A PODCAST CALLED "SIBLING REVELRY WITH KATE 236 00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:54,346 HUDSON AND OLIVER HUDSON." THEY WILL BE OUT TO TALK ABOUT 237 00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:57,583 THEIR LIVES AND CAREERS ADD PODCASTS. 238 00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:01,220 WE HAVE A PODCAST, "THE LATE SHOW" POD "LATE SHOW" AVAILABLE 239 00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:03,255 ON SPOTIFY. I LOVE GOING OVER THERE. 240 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:10,562 I LISTEN TO JOE ROGEN, HEAR HIM SING SOME NEIL YOUNG SONGS 241 00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:12,664 SOMETIMES. HE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL VOICE, 242 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:19,438 BEAUTIFUL VOICE. FOLKS, I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS. 243 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:25,444 THERE'S BAD NEWS FOR FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN, MATT GAETZ, SEEN 244 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:29,481 HERE FINDING OUT HIS DATE IS 30. ( LAUGHTER ) 245 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,984 GAETZ IS BEING INVESTIGATED BY THE FEDS FOR BOTH ALLEGED 246 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:35,654 SEX TRAFFICKING, AND HAVING SEX WITH A MINOR. 247 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:36,889 THE INVESTIGATION'S BEEN QUIET FOR A WHILE, BUT SEEMS LIKE IT'S 248 00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:41,493 HEATING UP AGAIN. IT'S TIME FOR A "GAETZ-GAETE 249 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,464 UP-GAETE!" >> HEY, DO YOU KNOW THE ADDRESS 250 00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:48,901 FOR EUPHORIA HIGH SCHOOL? >> STEPHEN: EVER SINCE THE 251 00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:53,439 INITIAL REPORTS LAST SPRING, GAETZ HAS VEHEMENTLY DENIED 252 00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:57,476 ACCUSATIONS THAT HE ATTENDED DRUG-FUELED SEX RAGERS WHERE HE 253 00:17:57,543 --> 00:18:00,279 PAID UNDERAGE GIRLS FOR SEX. BUT THOSE DENIALS WERE WEAKENED 254 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:05,451 RECENTLY BY A CONFESSION FROM GAETZ'S FORMER WINGMAN, FLORIDA 255 00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:09,188 TAX COLLECTOR AND GUY SAYING, "IT WAS WEIRD-- IN MY DREAM 256 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,657 SHE ONLY HAD ONE BIG ONE!" JOEL GREENBERG. 257 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:16,094 GREENBERG IS COOPERATING WITH PROSECUTORS, BECAUSE HE'S NOT 258 00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,896 DUMB, AND AS PART OF HIS PLEA AGREEMENT, HE WROTE A LETTER 259 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:23,702 STATING THAT "ON SEPTEMBER 4, 2017, HE CALLED MATT GAETZ WITH 260 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:28,073 SOME BAD NEWS. A TEENAGER BOTH MEN HAD PAID TO 261 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:35,681 HAVE SEX WITH WAS UNDERAGE." TO WHICH GAETZ RESPONDED, "OH, I 262 00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:37,249 GAETZ HASN'T CONFIRMED OR DENIED 263 00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,617 THE CALL EVER HAPPENED, BUT, TURNS OUT THERE'S A WITNESS: 264 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:39,852 FRIEND OF JOEL GREENBERG AND MAN TELLING THE H.R. REP THAT HE 265 00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,453 WILL NOT ATTEND THE RESPECTFUL WORKPLACE TRAINING, "BIG" JOE 266 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:45,457 ELLICOTT. BIG JOE JUST FLIPPED ON GAETZ 267 00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:49,461 AND HAS REPORTEDLY TOLD INVESTIGATORS THAT HE CAN 268 00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:50,963 CONFIRM THE DETAILS OF THE CALL BECAUSE HE WAS IN GREENBERG'S 269 00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:55,367 OFFICE WHEN IT TOOK PLACE. WHAT MASTERMINDS! 270 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,802 ADMITTING TO THEIR CRIMES IN FRONT OF A WITNESS. 271 00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:57,669 (AS CRIMINAL) "ARE YOU WEARING A WIRE? 272 00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:00,539 NO? THEN RECORD ME WITH YOUR PHONE. 273 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:05,444 THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD. I AM SO GUILTY." 274 00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:13,418 ELLICOTT HAD THE ACCESS BECAUSE HE'S GREENBERG'S LONGTIME BEST 275 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,288 FRIEND, AS WELL AS A FORMER SPORTS RADIO SHOCK JOCK. 276 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:17,689 WE HAVE A RECORDING OF THE PHONE CALL: 277 00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:21,159 >> DUDE, THAT GIRL WE BOTH SLEPT WITH IS UNDERAGE. 278 00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,662 >> NO WAY. >> YES WAY. 279 00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:28,667 (AIRHORN) >> THIS IS ALL BEING RECORDED! 280 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,637 YOUR LIFE IS GOING DOWN THE-- (FLUSH) 281 00:19:31,703 --> 00:19:34,640 I DON'T WANNA WORK. I JUST WANNA 282 00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:35,807 RAT ON MATT GAETZ ALL DAY! ♪ 283 00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:42,814 (SOUND EFFECTS) >> J-J-JAIL TIME! 284 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:46,485 >> STEPHEN: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOME GREAT NEWS FOR ANYONE 285 00:19:46,552 --> 00:19:47,986 WAITING FOR A COVID TEST! 286 00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:16,682 >> Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY! 287 00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:22,187 FOLKS, AS Y'ALL KNOW, THROUGHOUT THE OMICRON WAVE, AT-HOME COVID 288 00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,389 TESTS HAVE BEEN IN HIGH DEMAND. FOR THE PAST MONTH STORES CAN'T 289 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:28,393 SEEM TO KEEP THEM IN STOCK DUE TO SUPPLY CHAIN CRISIS, LABOR 290 00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:31,029 SHORTAGES TO WILD WEST STYLE TRAIN ROBBERIES. 291 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:36,602 AT LEAST THOSE GUYS WEAR MASKS. THAT'S WHY LAST WEEK THE WHITE 292 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:47,646 HOUSE LAUNCHED COVID TESTS .gov SO ANYONE CAN 293 00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:48,947 REQUEST FREE TESTS SENT DIRECTLY TO THEIR HOME. 294 00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:50,616 THOUGH, EVEN THEN, THEY'LL TAKE UP TO 12 DAYS TO ARRIVE. 295 00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:51,984 SO, FOR ANYONE WHO IS WATCHING THIS WO WEEKS IN THE PAST: 296 00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:56,555 ORDER YOUR TESTS NOW ALSO, PUT FIVE HUNDRE DOLLARS ON THE 297 00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:58,991 49ERS OVER THE PACKERS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 298 00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:01,326 I'VE GOT A GOOD FEELING, AND YOU'LL HAVE A GOOD FEELING WHEN 299 00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:04,563 AARON RODGERS HAS HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM. 300 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:08,634 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT DON'T WORRY -- YOU DON'T 301 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:12,537 HAVE TO JUST SIT THERE ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR AN AT -HOME TEST TO 302 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,406 BECOME AVAILABLE, BECAUSE I JUST SAW AN AD FOR A BRAND NEW TEST 303 00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:15,207 THAT YOU CAN TAKE WHENEVER YOU WANT. 304 00:21:15,273 --> 00:21:19,811 JIM? >> ANXIOUS ABOUT THE LATEST 305 00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:23,615 INFECTION RATES BUT CAN'T FIND A TEST ANYWHERE? 306 00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:30,856 IT'S TIME YOU TURNED TO OKAY CUE PAL E. 307 00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:33,725 HERE'S HOW IT WORKS, SIMPLY REMOVE THE SWAB AND INSERT IN 308 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:37,429 YOUR LEFT NOSTRIL. THEN ROTATE FOR 20 SECONDS. 309 00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:41,233 NEXT INSERT THE SWAB IN THE OTHER NOSTRIL AND THIS TIME 310 00:21:41,299 --> 00:21:44,636 ROTATE FOR, LET'S SAY, A MINUTE? ACTUALLY, FIVE MINUTES. 311 00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:47,906 YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST SPIN THAT BAD BOY FOR AS 312 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,976 LONG AS YOU WANT AND THEN LEAVE THE SWAB INSERTED SO YOU CAN 313 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:54,046 SPIN IT MORE LATER. NEXT, TAKE THE OTHER COTTON 314 00:21:54,112 --> 00:22:00,185 SWABS, PLACE ONE IN EACH YEAR AND YOU GUESST IT, SPIN 'EM! 315 00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:01,053 FASTER! FASTER! 316 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,589 >> IS THERE DOING ANYTHING? NOT AT ALL! 317 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:08,160 OCUPAL ISN'T LIKE OTHER COVID TESTS BECAUSE IT'S NOT ONE. 318 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:15,167 INSTEAD OUR PSEUDOPATENTED SIGN TIFFIC-SH PROCESS IS DESIGNED TO 319 00:22:15,233 --> 00:22:18,737 KEEP YOU DISTRACTED TILL ANOTHER TEST BECOMES AVAILABLE. 320 00:22:18,804 --> 00:22:23,041 AT LEAST YOU'RE CONFUSED INSTEAD OF ANXIOUS. 321 00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:26,812 APPLY THE TESTING STRIP. APPLY THREE DROPS OF SOLUTION, 322 00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:29,681 THEN ANOTHER DROP. THEN ANOTHER DROP. 323 00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:32,818 OH, WAIT -- DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU STARTED? 324 00:22:32,884 --> 00:22:35,253 >> NO. OH, YEAH, YOU HAVE TO WASH 325 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:39,057 YOUR HANDS FIRST TORE THE WHOLE THING IS RUINED. 326 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:40,459 GUESS YOU WILL HAVE TO START OVER. 327 00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:42,994 >> COME ON! ARE WE ALMOST DONE? 328 00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,130 BSOLUTELY! JUST A FEW MORE STEPS. 329 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:49,768 FIRST, ASSEMBLE THE 1200 -PIECE SCALE MODEL OF THE AT THIS TANK, 330 00:22:49,835 --> 00:23:02,781 TAKE A 28 HOUR NAP, SPIN TWICE COUNTERCLOCKWISE,, EMPLOYEES THE 331 00:23:02,848 --> 00:23:05,717 EXAM. OCUPAL HAS 100% NO RESULTS 332 00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:07,886 GUARANTEE. >> THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME. 333 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,788 EXACTLY. I WANT MY MONEY BACK. 334 00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:13,792 NO PROBLEM JUST HEAD TO OUR WEB SITE ANSWER OUR SURVEY, GET 335 00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:19,030 PUT ON HOLD WITH OUR CUSTOMER SERVICE SPOT AND -- 336 00:23:19,097 --> 00:23:20,832 ( DING ) >> THERE ARE ACTUAL TESTS 337 00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:23,935 AVAILABLE. THANKS, OCUPAL. 338 00:23:24,002 --> 00:23:28,540 >> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME, THE TIMED TEST TO TAKE UP TIME 339 00:23:28,607 --> 00:23:31,743 TILL YOU TEST. IF YOU'RE WONDERING IF YOU HAVE 340 00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:32,844 OMICRON, YEAH, YOU DO. >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT 341 00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:33,445 BACK! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 342 00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:55,400 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, 343 00:23:55,467 --> 00:24:05,277 EVERYBODY! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUESTS 344 00:24:05,343 --> 00:24:07,612 THIS EVENING ARE A BROTHER AND A SISTER, 345 00:24:07,679 --> 00:24:09,981 YOU KNOW HER FROM "ALMOST FAMOUS" AND "HOW TO LOSE A GUY 346 00:24:10,048 --> 00:24:11,516 IN 10 DAYS." YOU KNOW HIM FROM "NASHVILLE" 347 00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:13,018 AND THE NEW SERIES "THE CLEANING LADY." 348 00:24:13,084 --> 00:24:14,386 THEY ARE CO-HOSTING A PODCAST TOGETHER CALLED "SIBLING REVELRY 349 00:24:14,452 --> 00:24:20,325 WITH KATE HUDSON AND OLIVER HUDSON." 350 00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:22,794 PLEASE WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW WHAT ARE THE ODDS -- KATE AND 351 00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:37,742 OLIVER HUDSON! ( BAND PLAYING ) 352 00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:43,615 OLIVER HUDSON! ( BAND PLAYING ) 353 00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:46,151 >> HE DRESSED UP FOR THE OCCASION. 354 00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:49,588 I LITERALLY WAS, LIKE -- >> Stephen: HE WAS WEARING 355 00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:53,825 WHAT HE DROVE OVER IN. >> SHE GAVE ME FLACK ABOUT MY 356 00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:55,060 OUTFIT. >> Stephen: THIS IS WINTER, 357 00:24:55,126 --> 00:25:00,932 THIS IS THE COMING SPRING. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US HOPE. 358 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:05,203 >> I WAS, LIKE, IT'S LATE NIGHT. NEED TO BE ME. 359 00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:06,037 >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BOTH OF YOU. 360 00:25:06,104 --> 00:25:07,038 YOU HAVE A GREAT IDEA FOR A PODCAST. 361 00:25:07,105 --> 00:25:09,708 I DON'T KNOW OF ANOTHER PODCAST ABOUT SIBLINGS. 362 00:25:09,774 --> 00:25:15,780 IT'S DEDICATED TO SIBLINGS? >> WE INTERVIEW SIBLINGS. 363 00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:20,952 IT'S STARTED WITH OLIVER AND I WANTING TO DO SOMETHING TOGETHER 364 00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:24,389 AND THEN WE JUST DECIDED, YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD DO A 365 00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:29,427 PODCAST ABOUT SIBLINGS. >> SHE DOESN'T TRUST ME AS AN 366 00:25:29,494 --> 00:25:31,830 ACTOR TO DO SOMETHING IN THE MOVIE WORLD. 367 00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:33,531 >> Stephen: YOU NEED A DAY JOB. 368 00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:37,168 YOU HAVE A FACE FOR RADIO IS WHAT SHE'S SAYING. 369 00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:39,471 >> IT'S A BETTER MEDIUM FOR HIM. >> Stephen: WHAT ARE THE SORTS 370 00:25:39,537 --> 00:25:42,874 OF THINGS YOU TALK ABOUT. LIKE SIBLING RIVALRY? 371 00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:47,779 >> WE CALL IT REVELRY BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT HOW WE CELEBRATE THAT 372 00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:49,014 RELATIONSHIP. I DON'T THINK PEOPLE REALLY TALK 373 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:54,953 ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF IT. AND, SO, THAT'S REALLY WHERE IT 374 00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:55,987 STARTED. AND -- 375 00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:59,124 >> IT'S A VERY DYNAMIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE THAT IS 376 00:25:59,190 --> 00:26:00,825 UNDEREXPLORED, I THINK. I THINK SIBLINGS ARE TOGETHER 377 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:04,329 MORE WITH EACH OTHER THAN THEY ARE EVEN WITH THEIR PARENTS. 378 00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:10,268 THEY CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY HATE EACH OTHER 379 00:26:10,335 --> 00:26:12,871 AND:FIDE IN EACH OTHER. >> Stephen: HERE YOU ARE AS 380 00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:17,375 LITTLE SHAVERS RIGHT THERE WITH YOUR MOM GOLDIE HAWN. 381 00:26:17,442 --> 00:26:19,911 >> WHAT IS THIS PICTURE? >> Stephen: COMING BACK FROM 382 00:26:19,978 --> 00:26:26,017 EUROPE, LOOKS LIKE. >> IIS THAT CAROL. 383 00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:29,321 >> Stephen: THAT'S CAROL. HERE YOU ARE WITH YOUR COOL 384 00:26:29,387 --> 00:26:32,290 PARENTS GROWN UP. GOLDIE HAWN AND KURT RUSSELL. 385 00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:35,827 >> THAT WAS AT THE RAISING HELEN PREMIERE. 386 00:26:35,894 --> 00:26:40,799 >> Stephen: YOU STILL HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE. 387 00:26:40,865 --> 00:26:43,835 WHO'S THE OLDER OF THE TWO. >> OLIVER. 388 00:26:43,902 --> 00:26:46,905 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ASKING ME THAT QUESTION. 389 00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:48,640 >> EVERYONE THINKS I'M YOUNGER BECAUSE SHE'S MORE SUCCESSFUL. 390 00:26:48,707 --> 00:26:52,444 THEY LOOK AT HER AND SAY SHE'S DONE THESE AMAZING THINGS AND 391 00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:55,914 LOOK AT ME AND THINK I'M THE YOUNGER ONE BECAUSE I'M JUST A 392 00:26:55,981 --> 00:26:58,416 LILT WEIRD. >> Stephen: WERE YOU A GOOD 393 00:26:58,483 --> 00:27:00,919 BIG BROTHER? WERE YOU NICE TO HER? 394 00:27:00,986 --> 00:27:03,021 >> NO, I WAS NOT. >> Stephen: YOU CONFIRM THAT. 395 00:27:03,088 --> 00:27:04,189 WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU? >> I THINK MY MOM SAID IT 396 00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:06,524 STARTED WHEN I CAME HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL WHEN HE WAS 397 00:27:06,591 --> 00:27:10,528 CATAPULTING CLEAN TYNES FROM MY -- INTO MY CRIB AND SHE HAD 398 00:27:10,595 --> 00:27:14,899 TO REMOVE HIM FROM MY NURSERY AND IT EXPANDED THERE. 399 00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:19,938 >> I DID NOT LIKE SOMEONE INFRINGING ON -- 400 00:27:20,005 --> 00:27:23,742 >> STOLE THE THUNDER. OLIVER WAS HAPPY AND CONTENT 401 00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:26,878 WITH LIFE WITH MOM AND I CAME IN AND IT WAS A NEW LITTLE BABY AND 402 00:27:26,945 --> 00:27:30,849 A GIRL WHICH IS A VERY DIFFERENT THING. 403 00:27:30,915 --> 00:27:32,851 >> BY THE WAY, NOTHING HAS CHANGED. 404 00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:35,887 >> AND THEN IT JUST GOT WORSE AND WORSE AND WORSE. 405 00:27:35,954 --> 00:27:38,723 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I MEAN, THE REALITY IS THAT WE 406 00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:45,764 HAVE A VERY INTERESTING DYNAMIC, AND OLIVER AND I HAD, YOU KNOW, 407 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:49,801 AN INTERESTING UPBRINGING, AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH CONFLICT 408 00:27:49,868 --> 00:27:53,571 THERE WAS, WE WERE ALWAYS SO CLOSE, AND THEN IT REALLY KIND 409 00:27:53,638 --> 00:27:57,575 OF HIT US WHEN HE WENT TO COLLEGE, AND HE WAS LEAVING. 410 00:27:57,642 --> 00:28:01,813 I MEAN, THIS IS COMING FROM, LIKE, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, ME, 411 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,681 LIKE, GETTING KICKED OUT OF HIS ROOM. 412 00:28:03,748 --> 00:28:07,819 I MEAN, I WAS JUST LIKE ALL I WANTED WAS OLIVER'S ATTENTION. 413 00:28:07,886 --> 00:28:10,955 >> I COULD NOT GIVE HER ANY ATTENTION. 414 00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:17,929 I WAS DEALING WITH MY OWN EMOTIONAL CRISIS OF BEING FROM A 415 00:28:17,996 --> 00:28:19,297 DIVORCE. >> FROM A DIVORCED FAMILY. 416 00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:22,267 I DID NOT HAVE THE CAPACITY TO LOVE HER THE WAY SHE NEEDED 417 00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,235 TO BE LOVED. >> IT'S TRUE. 418 00:28:24,302 --> 00:28:27,372 SHE WANTED MY ATTENTION AND I SAID, I NEED TO FOCUSED ON ME. 419 00:28:27,439 --> 00:28:29,274 >> Stephen: YEAH. AND THEN HE WENT TO COLLEGE, AND 420 00:28:29,340 --> 00:28:32,310 IT WAS A DISASTER. WE WERE BOTH VERY UPSET. 421 00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:35,013 HE CAME BACK FROM COLLEGE AND THE THE WHOLE THING FLIPPED. 422 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,750 I HAD ALL THESE CUTE GIRLFRIENDS, AND OLIVER JUST 423 00:28:38,817 --> 00:28:41,820 WANTED MY ATTENTION AND MY FRIENDS' ATTENTION ALL THE TIME. 424 00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:49,527 >> WHEN WE WERE LITTLE, SHE WOULD BE AT MY DOOR ON MY 425 00:28:49,594 --> 00:28:52,330 DOORKNOB WAITING FOR ME TO COME OUT BECAUSE SHE JUST WANTED TO 426 00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:55,800 BE A PART OF MY WORLD. >> Stephen: SURE, OF COURSE. 427 00:28:55,867 --> 00:29:00,872 IT WAS LIKE A HORROR FILM. I WOULD OPEN THE DOOR AND SHE 428 00:29:00,939 --> 00:29:04,976 WOULD BE LIKE -- AND I WOULD BE, DUH! 429 00:29:05,043 --> 00:29:07,812 IT WOULD BE HONESTLY FREAKY. >> I WAS AGGRESSIVE. 430 00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:11,416 I WAS A LITTLE AGGRESSIVE. YOU KNOW, HE WAS ALL I HAD TO 431 00:29:11,483 --> 00:29:13,118 PLAY WITH AT THE THE TIME, YOU KNOW. 432 00:29:13,184 --> 00:29:15,887 >> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T GROW UP IN ANY OLD HOUSE, AS I SAID. 433 00:29:15,954 --> 00:29:21,126 HERE ARE THE FOLKS, RIGHT HERE. WHAT WERE THEY LIKE AS PARENTS? 434 00:29:21,192 --> 00:29:23,094 >> OKAY. AMAZING. 435 00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:25,530 HONESTLY -- WE HAVE AMAZING PARENTS. 436 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:26,631 >> INCREDIBLE. YEAH. 437 00:29:26,698 --> 00:29:29,834 LOOK, THE IMPRESSION IS, OF COURSE, WE ARE FROM FAMOUS 438 00:29:29,901 --> 00:29:32,170 PARENTS. >> Stephen: THAT IS A FACT. 439 00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:35,974 THAT IS A FACT. IT'S NOT AN IMPRESSION, IT'S A 440 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,542 FACT. >> BUT WITHIN THE FOUR WALLS, IT 441 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:42,013 WAS A VERY NORMAL FAMILY, I THINK, BECAUSE THEY CAME FROM 442 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,283 WHERE THEY CAME FROM, IT WAS NOTHING, THEY UNDERSTOOD THAT 443 00:29:45,350 --> 00:29:48,453 AND WANTED TO INSTILL D. >> WELL, THEY SHARED THAT VALUE. 444 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:52,624 THEY BOTH HAD KIDS FROM OTHER PARENTS -- I MEAN, FROM OTHER -- 445 00:29:52,690 --> 00:29:57,262 OUR PARENTS, AND THEN THEY, YOU KNOW, WE BECAME THIS MELTING POT 446 00:29:57,328 --> 00:30:00,565 OF A FAMILY, AND I THINK IT WAS SO IMPORTANT AND THEY KNEW THAT 447 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:06,504 THEY HAD THE SAME SHARED VALUE OF FAMILY BEING NUMBER ONE THAT 448 00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:10,108 IT BECAME LIKE THEIR -- I MEAN, OTHER THAN OBVIOUSLY BALANCING 449 00:30:10,175 --> 00:30:13,845 THEIR OWN CAREERS AND STUFF, BUT IT BECAME THEIR LIFE PURPOSE IS, 450 00:30:13,912 --> 00:30:15,914 LIKE, WE WILL HAVE THE BEST FAMILY. 451 00:30:15,980 --> 00:30:17,248 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME 452 00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:19,918 BACK, MORE KATE AND OLIVER HUDSON, EVERYBODY. 453 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:20,485 STICK AROUND. 454 00:30:31,429 --> 00:30:33,431 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WELCOME BACK! 455 00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:38,369 WE'RE BACK HERE WITH THE HOSTS OF SIBLING REVELRY, KATE AND 456 00:30:38,436 --> 00:30:43,408 OLIVER HUDSON. YOU GUYS BOTH HAVE KIDS OF YOUR 457 00:30:43,474 --> 00:30:44,676 OWN. >> YEAH. 458 00:30:44,742 --> 00:30:46,010 >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM YOUR FOLKS THAT YOU USE 459 00:30:46,077 --> 00:30:48,513 WITH YOUR OWN KIDS AND WHAT DON'T YOU DO. 460 00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:51,349 >> OH, GOOD. YOU WANT TO GO FIRST? 461 00:30:51,416 --> 00:30:56,821 >> WELL, FOR ME, IT WAS ABOUT LETTING THEM FALL DOWN, LETTING 462 00:30:56,888 --> 00:30:58,823 THEM HAVE THEIR EXPERIENCES AND NOT -- 463 00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:02,594 >> Stephen: THIS IS WHAT YOUR FOLKS DID WITH Y'ALL. 464 00:31:02,660 --> 00:31:05,296 >> YEAH, NOT OVERPARENTING. >> Stephen: DIDN'T HOVER. 465 00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:09,634 IT'S WE KNOW YOU'RE DOING BAD THINGS BUT WE'RE GOING TO LET 466 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:13,037 YOU DO SOME BAD THINGS. >> Stephen: HOW OLD ARE YOU 467 00:31:13,104 --> 00:31:17,609 TALKING, FIVE OR 15. >> BOTH, FIVE AND 15. 468 00:31:17,675 --> 00:31:20,812 FOR ME, HONESTLY, 16. I HAVE A BIT OF A STORY, RIGHT? 469 00:31:20,878 --> 00:31:24,582 I GOT MY CAR AT 16 YEARS OLD. THERE WAS THIS HAIRPIN TURN, IT 470 00:31:24,649 --> 00:31:28,753 WAS A WEEKEND INTO MY FIRST -- ON MY LICENSE AND I 471 00:31:28,820 --> 00:31:30,755 OVERCORRECTED AND I SMASHED INTO THE CURB. 472 00:31:30,822 --> 00:31:34,659 I WENT SIDEWAYS AND SO NOW I HAD TO COME UP WITH A STORY, AND I 473 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:38,830 REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT, OKAY, THERE'S A ONE-WAY STREET ON 474 00:31:38,896 --> 00:31:41,666 BROADWAY ON L.A. AND A CAR MOVED INTO ME AND I HAD TO GET OUT TO 475 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,669 HAVE THE WAY, THEY KNEW I WAS NOT TELLING THE TRUTH. 476 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:48,439 >> BUT YOU TOOK GREAT EFFORT, STRIDES TO LIE. 477 00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:51,376 >> BUT THEY APPRECIATED -- THEY APPRECIATED THAT I CAME UP WITH 478 00:31:51,442 --> 00:31:55,780 THIS STORY AND REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT, SO THEY GAVE ME THAT 479 00:31:55,847 --> 00:32:00,652 CREDIT, ALL THE WHILE KNOWING THAT I AM ABSOLUTELY FULL OF -- 480 00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:03,421 >> YEAH, YEAH, BUT I NEVER GOT THAT PRIVILEGE. 481 00:32:03,488 --> 00:32:06,090 >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? BECAUSE I'M THE MIDDLE CHILD, 482 00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:09,527 RIGHT. SO OLIVER WAS THE GOLDEN CHILD. 483 00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:13,431 >> MOM LOVES ME THE MOST. OLIVER GETS AWAY WITH 484 00:32:13,498 --> 00:32:14,932 EVERYTHING. >> Stephen: DO YOU AGREE THAT 485 00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:18,202 MOM LOVES HIM MORE? >> WELL, LOVE IS A DIFFICULT -- 486 00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:21,739 I WOULDN'T SAY LOVE. >> NO, I'M HER FAVORITE KID. 487 00:32:21,806 --> 00:32:23,341 BUT DEFINITELY THE FAVORITE HANDS DOWN. 488 00:32:23,408 --> 00:32:27,712 AND MOM WOULD BE, LIKE, HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? 489 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:34,585 AND I'M, LIKE, BECAUSE ALL ACTIONS POINT TO HIM. 490 00:32:34,652 --> 00:32:41,492 >> WOW. YOU SAY WOW SO DRAMATICALLY. 491 00:32:41,559 --> 00:32:44,862 IT IS A SAT STORY. >> Stephen: DON'T MAKE ME CRY. 492 00:32:44,929 --> 00:32:46,364 DID YOUR PARENTS HAVE THE FAVORITE? 493 00:32:46,431 --> 00:32:48,466 >> Stephen: IT WAS ME. YOU WERE THE BABY. 494 00:32:48,533 --> 00:32:51,302 >> Stephen: I WAS THE BABY OF ELEVEN. 495 00:32:51,369 --> 00:32:54,038 >> I DON'T KNOW HOW OLIVER IS STILL THE FAVORITE. 496 00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:56,641 I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. >> LOOK AT ME! 497 00:32:56,708 --> 00:33:00,178 LOOK WHAT 'EM WEARING! >> Stephen: IT MAY NOT LAST 498 00:33:00,244 --> 00:33:02,714 BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND YOU ACTUALY MOVED BACK HOME. 499 00:33:02,780 --> 00:33:04,449 >> I DID. >> Stephen: BUDDY, YOU HAVE A 500 00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:07,151 TV SHOW. >> I KNOW! 501 00:33:07,218 --> 00:33:10,621 HE SAYS HE'S RENOVATING HIS HOUSE. 502 00:33:10,688 --> 00:33:13,291 I QUESTION THAT. >> Stephen: ARE YOU IN THE 503 00:33:13,358 --> 00:33:14,726 BASEMENT? WHERE ARE YOU. 504 00:33:14,792 --> 00:33:20,398 >> NO, I'M IN A NICE LITTLE ROOM, THE KIDS ARE THERE, I'M 505 00:33:20,465 --> 00:33:23,101 RENOVATING MY HOME. MOM COOKS GREAT BREAKFASTS IN 506 00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:25,536 THE MORNING. >> Stephen: YOUR MOTHER COOKS 507 00:33:25,603 --> 00:33:29,941 YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING? >> YEAH, BISCUITS AND GRAVY. 508 00:33:30,007 --> 00:33:32,944 THE IRONY -- MAYBE IT'S NOT IRONIC, BUT -- 509 00:33:33,010 --> 00:33:39,183 >> Stephen: SAY IT AND I'LL TELL YOU IF IT'S IRONY. 510 00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:46,758 >> OKAY. SORP. 511 00:33:46,824 --> 00:33:50,628 >> I LIVE SEVEN BLOCKS FROM THE HOME I WAS BROUGHT UP IN. 512 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:53,231 I'M STILL LOOKING TO BE THE FAVORITE CHILD BUT IT'S NOT 513 00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:55,400 WORKING. I LIVE ABOUT SEVEN BLOCKS FROM 514 00:33:55,466 --> 00:34:01,606 MY PARENTS, BOUGHT THE HOWLS I GREW UP IN, AND NOW OUR OTHER 515 00:34:01,672 --> 00:34:03,775 BROTHER LIVES -- >> Stephen: WYATT. 516 00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:08,045 -- YEAH, WYATT, LIVES, LIKE, SEVEN BLOCKS FROM ME AND OLIVER 517 00:34:08,112 --> 00:34:12,183 HAS ALL KINDS OF PLACES TO BE STAYING AT WITH THE KIDS. 518 00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:15,553 IT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE FOR OLIVER AND HIS WIFE AND THE KIDS 519 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:20,091 TO STAY WITH ME SO THE COUSINS COULD BE TOGETHER BUT HE CHOSE 520 00:34:20,158 --> 00:34:21,926 MOMMY. >> YOU'RE NOT MAKING BISCUITS 521 00:34:21,993 --> 00:34:23,928 AND GRAVY IN THE MORNING. ( LAUGHTER ) 522 00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:27,832 >> Stephen: THIS IS ANOTHER SIBLING THING, DO YOU WATCH HIS 523 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,735 SHOW, "THE CLEANING LADY"? >> NO. 524 00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:31,836 WAIT. JUST SAY NO. 525 00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:35,173 I DID. I WATCHED THE FIRST ONE. 526 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:37,909 I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SECOND ONE. >> Stephen: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 527 00:34:37,975 --> 00:34:41,379 THE SECOND ONE? >> I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SECOND 528 00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:44,215 EPISODE YET. >> Stephen: HOW MANY EPISODE 529 00:34:44,282 --> 00:34:45,950 SO FAR? >> FOUR. 530 00:34:46,017 --> 00:34:48,186 IT'S VERY GOOD. >> Stephen: HOW LONG ARE THEY? 531 00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:50,822 AN HOUR. >> Stephen: YOU CAN'T SPARE AN 532 00:34:50,888 --> 00:34:52,623 HOUR. >> I'M GOING TO LET HER OFF THE 533 00:34:52,690 --> 00:34:54,692 HOOK HERE. >> OUR FAMILIES -- 534 00:34:54,759 --> 00:35:00,364 WE DON'T WATCH OTHER STUFF. I'VE SEEN A THIRD OF YOUR 535 00:35:00,431 --> 00:35:01,799 MOVIES. >> TRUTH BY TOLD YOU HAVEN'T 536 00:35:01,866 --> 00:35:07,305 SEEN ANY OF THEM. >> UH I KNOW, BECAUSE I GET IT. 537 00:35:07,371 --> 00:35:11,142 ( LAUGHTER ) >> THE NOVELTY HAS KIND OF WORN 538 00:35:11,209 --> 00:35:12,777 OFF. THERE'S SO MUCH WORK THAT'S 539 00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:16,214 BEING DONE, RIGHT, THAT WE DON'T WERE. 540 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,283 >> Stephen: WHAT I ADMIRE ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU IS THE 541 00:35:19,350 --> 00:35:23,120 HONESTY WITH WHICH YOU'RE TREATING EACH OTHER NOW. 542 00:35:23,187 --> 00:35:25,690 >> WE DEFINITELY HAVE GOOD SELF-HUMOR. 543 00:35:25,756 --> 00:35:29,527 >> YOU SEEN ONE MOVIE OF HEARSE, YOU'VE SEEN 'EM ALL. 544 00:35:29,594 --> 00:35:33,130 ( LAUGHTER ) >> St 545 00:35:33,197 --> 00:35:35,466 >> STEPHEN: THEIR PODCAST IS "SIBLING REVELRY," AND YOU CAN 546 00:35:35,533 --> 00:35:38,469 SEE OLIVER IN "THE CLEANING LADY" WHICH AIRS MONDAYS ON FOX. 547 00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:40,338 KATE AND OLIVER HUDSON, EVERYBODY! 548 00:35:40,404 --> 00:35:43,207 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY ST. PAUL AND THE 549 00:35:43,274 --> 00:35:44,342 BROKEN BONES. 550 00:36:07,398 --> 00:36:11,235 >> Stephen: THEIR ALBUM, "THE ALIEN COAST," COMES OUT TOMORROW 551 00:36:11,302 --> 00:36:17,608 PERFORMING "THE LAST DANCE," ST. PAUL AND THE BROKEN BONES 552 00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:21,546 ♪ ♪ ♪ 553 00:36:21,612 --> 00:36:27,218 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 554 00:36:27,285 --> 00:36:38,429 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ LOSE YOURSELF 555 00:36:38,496 --> 00:36:43,234 IN A SONG THAT DOESN'T ♪ MAKE YOU WANT TO CRY 556 00:36:43,301 --> 00:36:48,639 GOD KNOWS WE NEED IT RIGHT NOW ♪ SO FEEL IT, 557 00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:51,542 FEEL IT, ♪ FEEL IT 558 00:36:51,609 --> 00:36:55,079 ALL ALONE ♪ SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING 559 00:36:55,146 --> 00:37:03,221 THAT WILL ♪ MAKE MY BABY SMILE 560 00:37:03,287 --> 00:37:05,356 APOCALYPTIC DANCE GROOVE ♪ LET'S DO IT, 561 00:37:05,423 --> 00:37:07,391 DO IT, ♪ DO IT 562 00:37:07,458 --> 00:37:15,533 BANG, BANG ♪ GOES THE BULLET LIKE A TRAIN 563 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:21,505 BANG, BANG ♪ GOES THE FEELING THROUGH 564 00:37:21,572 --> 00:37:27,244 MY BRAIN ♪ BANG, BANG 565 00:37:27,311 --> 00:37:35,252 GOES THE BULLET LIKE A TRAIN ♪ BANG, BANG 566 00:37:35,319 --> 00:37:43,027 GOES THE FEELING THROUGH ♪ MY BRAIN 567 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,529 I DON'T CARE ♪ IF PEOPLE WATCHING ME 568 00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:51,202 AND THEY THINK ♪ I'M KIND OF STRANGE 569 00:37:51,268 --> 00:37:55,139 LOSE MYSELF IN MUSIC ♪ FEEL IT, 570 00:37:55,206 --> 00:37:59,243 FEEL IT, ♪ FEEL IT 571 00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:03,347 END IS HER ♪ ST. PETER LOST OUR NAMES 572 00:38:03,414 --> 00:38:11,188 MANY SINS BEFORE THE LAST ♪ LET'S MOVE IT WHILE WE CAN NOW 573 00:38:11,255 --> 00:38:13,858 MOVE IT, ♪ MOVE IT, 574 00:38:13,924 --> 00:38:16,327 MOVE IT ♪ BANG, BANG 575 00:38:16,394 --> 00:38:27,171 GOES THE BULLET LIKE A TRAIN ♪ BANG, BANG 576 00:38:27,238 --> 00:38:31,208 GOES THE FEELING THROUGH ♪ MY BRAIN 577 00:38:31,275 --> 00:38:33,544 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ BANG, BANG 578 00:38:33,611 --> 00:38:44,388 GOES THE BULLET LIKE A TRAIN ♪ BANG, BANG 579 00:38:44,455 --> 00:38:54,265 GOES THE FEELING THROUGH ♪ MY BRAIN 580 00:38:54,331 --> 00:39:04,475 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 581 00:39:04,542 --> 00:39:19,423 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 582 00:39:19,490 --> 00:39:21,525 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 583 00:39:21,592 --> 00:39:31,235 BANG, BANG ♪ GOES THE BULLET LIKE A TRAIN 584 00:39:31,302 --> 00:39:33,871 BANG, BANG ♪ GOES THE FEELING THROUGH 585 00:39:33,938 --> 00:39:43,247 MY BRAIN ♪ BANG, BANG 586 00:39:43,314 --> 00:39:50,654 GOES THE BULLET LIKE A TRAIN ♪ BANG, BANG 587 00:39:50,721 --> 00:39:52,490 GOES THE FEELING THROUGH ♪ MY BRAIN 588 00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:57,194 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 589 00:39:57,261 --> 00:40:03,200 >> Stephen: ST. PAUL AND THE 590 00:40:03,267 --> 00:40:06,804 BROKEN BONES, EVERYBODY. GOODNIGHT. 591 00:40:06,871 --> 00:40:08,005 THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 592 00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:10,941 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE MARLEE MATLIN AND 593 00:40:11,008 --> 00:40:13,511 MACKENZIE DAVIS. JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 594 00:40:13,577 --> 00:40:14,345 GOODNIGHT.