>> ACTOR DANIEL RADCLIFFE WILL PLAY "WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC IN AN
UPCOMING BIOGRAPHICAL FILM FOR THE ROKU CHANNEL.
THE "HARRY POTTER" STAR WILL TAKE ON THE ROLE OF THE
GRAMMY-WINNING, SONG-PARODY SPECIALIST IN "WEIRD: THE AL
YANKOVIC STORY." >> COMING THIS CHRISTMAS,
SOMETIMES BEING WEIRD TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF MAGIC.
♪ ♪ ♪
( WIND BLOWS )
♪ BABY, I LOVE ROCKY ROAD WON'T YOU GO AND BUY HALF A
GALLON, BABY ♪ I LOVE ROCKY ROAD ♪
>> "WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY," STREAMING EXCLUSIVELY ON
ROKU. ROKU: GOOD LUCK FINDING US.
WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE WE ARE.
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
ELVIS COSTELLO AND MUSICAL GUEST ELVIS COSTELLO
AND THE IMPOSTERS.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
STEPHEN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
WELCOME. THERE YOU GO.
WELCOME, WELCOME, ONE AND ALL,
IN HERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD, TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. AND I JUST WANT TO START OFF
TONIGHT WITH AN EARLY BLOOMING BOUQUET OF HAPPY FRIDAYS TO ONE
AND ALL. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU HERE,
BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYBODY IN MY AUDIENCE AND MY STAFF ARE ALL
FULLY VAXXED TO THE MAX ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
CASE EVERYWHERE. LAST WEEK, THE SUPREME COURT
STRUCK DOWN BIDEN'S VACCINE MANDATE FOR LARGE BUSINESSES.
AND SHORT THREE THEREAFTERS, STARBUCKS ANNOUNCED THAT IT IS
NO LONGER REQUIRING EMPLOYEES TO GET VACCINATED OR SUBMIT TO
WEEKLY TESTING, WHICH IS HUGE, BECAUSE THEY HAVE OVER 9,000
U.S. COFFEE SHOPS. AND THAT'S JUST IN A TWO -BLOCK
RADIUS AROUND THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.
DRINK OUR COFFEE! THIS POLICY HAS A BIG IMPACT ON
THE AMERICAN WORKFORCE BECAUSE STARBUCKS EMPLOYS 200,000
WORKERS. AND IT SEEMS LIKE NONE OF THEM
IS WORKING ON YOUR ORDER, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE PRETTY SURE
THAT LADY WHO JUST GOT HER CAKE POPS CAME IN AFTER YOU.
WHERE ARE MY EGG BITES. IN A MEMO, THE STARBUCK C.O. O.
TRIED TO HAVE IT BOTH WAYS, EXPLAINING, "WHILE THE VACCINE
RULE IS NOW PAUSED, I WANT TO EMPHASIZE THAT WE CONTINUE TO
BELIEVE STRONGLY IN THE SPIRIT AND INTENT OF THE MANDATE."
BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS YOU BELIEVE IN A RULE LIKE NO LONGER
HAVING IT. ( LAUGHTER )
"LISTEN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I BELIEVE IN THIS BUILDING'S NO
PET POLICY, EVEN THOUGH I'VE ADOPTED A BENGAL TIGER.
SHE SMELLS YOU-- RUN!" ( LAUGHTER )
DOWN! THE C.O.O. ALSO EMPHASIZED THAT
MORE THAN 90% OF STARBUCKS WORKERS IN THE UNITED STATES HAD
DISCLOSED THEIR VACCINATION STATUS BUT, NOTABLY, HE WOULDN'T
SAY WHAT PERCENT OF THOSE WORKERS ARE NOT FULLY
VACCINATED. YEAH, NOT PARTICULARLY
COMFORTING: "BEFORE WE MAKE LOVE, I WANT YOU
TO KNOW THAT I TOOK AN S.T. D. TEST, AND I KNOW FOR CERTAIN
WHETHER OR NOT I HAVE ONE. ( LAUGHTER )
BEFORE YOU GET A GOOD LOOK AT WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH.
YOU LIKE JACKSON POLLACK?" WE HERE AT THE COLUMBIA
BROADCASTING SYNDICATE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT "THE LATE SHOW" IS
NOT ONLY SAFE. IT'S 100% FREE, FIVE DAYS
A WEEK. HOW DO WE DO IT?
>> Audience: VOLUME! >> Stephen: NOW, UNFORTUNATELY,
NOT EVERY ENTERTAINMENT PLATFORM IS QUITE SO GENEROUS.
THIS WEEK, IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT NETFLIX IS RAISING THEIR PRICES.
AND IF YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT THAT MEANS FOR THE NETFLIX
ACCOUNT YOU USE, DON'T WORRY-- THAT'S YOUR EX -BOYFRIEND'S MOM'S
PROBLEM. ( LAUGHTER )
WITH THE-- SHE'S VERY NICE. VERY NICE.
WITH THE NEW PRICES, THE COST FOR THEIR MOST EXPENSIVE
PREMIUM PLAN INCREASED $2 TO $19.99 A MONTH.
FOR COMPARISON, HULU COSTS $12.99, DISNEY+ COSTS $7.99,
AND CRACKLE'S PLAN IS STILL "WE'LL PAY YOU!
FOR GOD'S SAKE, JUST TELL PEOPLE WE'RE STILL HERE."
( LAUGHTER ) PARAMOUNT+, IT'S WORTH IT.
"PARAMOUNT+: A MOUNTAIN OF COTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED
PLUGS." ( LAUGHTER )
NOW-- MAKE IT SO! THERE'S BIG NEWS IN N.F.Ts.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE WONDERING WHAT THAT IS, LOOK IT
UP AND TELL ME. I DON'T GET IT, EVEN THOUGH IT'S
BEEN EXPLAINED TO ME MANY TIMES, ONE TIME BY ME.
WELL, WHATEVER THEY ARE, IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT NEW YORK'S
FIRST N.F.T. RESTAURANT IS COMING SOON.
THE RESTAURANT, WHICH IS CALLED "FLYFISH CLUB," DOESN'T HAVE A
LOCATION YET, BUT THE FOUNDERS HAVE ANNOUNCED THAT THE MENU IS
"SEAFOOD INSPIRED." ( LAUGHTER )
THING.
NO ONE WANTS TO TAKE A BITE OF SOMETHING AND SAY, "WOW, THAT
REALLY REMINDS ME OF A SHRIMP." ( LAUGHTER )
THIS RESTAURANT WILL BE OR WHAT THEY WILL SERVE.
LET'S SEE IF ONE OF THEIR FOUNDERS CAN EXPLAIN:
>> "FLYFISH CLUB" IS GOING TO BE A MODERN INTERPRETATION OF
EVERYTHING THAT YOU LOVE AND APPRECIATE WHEN YOU WALK INTO A
RESTAURANT, BUT TURNED UPSIDE DOWN, ON IT'S FACE, INSIDE OUT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT, "UPSIDE DOWN, ON ITS FACE,
INSIDE OUT," BACKSIDE -FRONTSIDE, LEFTY-TIGHTY, RIGHTY-LOOSEY.
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS RESTAURANT IS SO BACKWARDS, YOU'RE GOING TO
EAT WITH YOUR BUTT AND POOP OUT YOUR MOUTH.
WHO'S HUNGRY? ( LAUGHTER )
IT'S CRAZY! IT'S CRAZY!
IT'S INSANE! YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO BE
MEDICATED. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE BOWLS OF
ZOLOFT. NOW, IF YOU WANT TO GET YOUR
NONEXISTENT SEAT AT THE MADE -UP TABLE, IT'S GOING TO SET YOU
BACK, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, A REGULAR MEMBERSHIP GOES FOR
ABOUT $7,900 IN CRYPTOCURRENCY, AND THE HIGHER LEVEL OMAKASE
MEMBERSHIP GOES FOR ROUGHLY $13,000.
OR YOU CAN JUST GO TO RED LOBSTER AND BE A DOUCHEBAG
FOR FREE. WHAT'S THIS?
HOLD ON, EXCUSE ME, WHAT'S THIS? FIRSTLY, THAT I DO NOT
HAVE AN EARPIECE. AND, SECOND, IT'S TIME FOR A
"LATE SHOW COMEUPPPANCE WATCH." NOW, REGULAR VIEWERS KNOW THAT
"COMEUPPANCE WATCH" IS A SEGMENT WE HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE.
IN IT, WE OUTLINE POWERFUL MEN WHO ARE ON THE VERGE OF GETTING
THEIR COMEUPPANCE. AND TONIGHT, WE ARE VERY CLOSE
TO DISCOVERING THE IDENTITIES OF SOME OF THE FRIENDS OF
BILLIONAIRE SEXUAL PREDATOR AND ALL-AROUND HORRIBLE FORMER HUMAN
BEING, JEFFREY EPSTEIN. LAST MONTH, EPSTEIN'S FORMER
GISLANE-- PRISONER NUMBER 405-- WAS FOUND GUILTY OF FIVE FEDERAL
CHARGES AND IS FACING 65 YEARS IN JAIL.
AND EVEN THOUGH THE NAMES OF EPSTEIN'S PALS WERE SEALED IN A
PREVIOUS CASE, MAXWELL'S LAWYERS SAY SHE WILL NO LONGER FIGHT TO
KEEP THE NAMES OF EIGHT "JOHN DOEs" A SECRET.
WHICH MEANS-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
COULD BE UPPANCE-COMING. AND THESE JOHN DOEs COULD
BE ANY NUMBER OF POWERFUL MEN THAT HAVE BEEN SEEN WITH
EPSTEIN: FORMER PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON,
THE OTHER FORMER PRESIDENT, THE FORMER ALAN DERSHOWITZ,
FORMER MICROSOFT C.E.O. BILL GATES, OR PART-TIME CLARINETIST
WOODY ALLEN. IF IT'S REVEALED THAT ONE OF THE
"JOHN DOEs" IS WOODY ALLEN, IT COULD RUIN HIS REPUTATION.
OF COURSE, ONE MAN WE DO KNOW SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH JEFFREY
EPSTEIN IS ANDREW. YOU GUYS KNOW ANDREW?
YOU MIGHT KNOW HIM AS "PRINCE ANDREW," BUT LAST WEEK,
IN LIGHT OF HIS SEXUAL ASSAULT TRIAL, THE QUEEN STRIPPED HIM OF
HIS TITLES. ( APPLAUSE )
UNITED KINGDOM IS OUTLINING SOME OF ANDREW'S UNUSUAL BEDROOM
HABITS. NO, NOT THOSE.
ALTHOUGH, YEAH, PROBABLY THOSE. I MEAN, IN THIS CASE, HIS TEDDY
BEAR COLLECTION. FORMER ROYAL STAFFER PAUL PAGE
EXPLAINS: >> IT HAD ABOUT 50 OR 60 STUFFED
TOYS POSITIONED ON THE BED AND, BASICALLY, THERE WAS A CARD THE
INSPECTOR SHOWED US IN A DRAWER, AND IT'S A PICTURE OF THESE
BEARS ALL IN SITU ON THE BED. AND THE REASON FOR THE LAMINATED
PICTURE WAS THAT IF THOSE BEARS WEREN'T PUT BACK IN THE RIGHT
ORDER BY THE MAIDS, HE WOULD SHOUT AND SCREAM AND BECOME
VERBALLY ABUSIVE. >> Stephen: WOW.
THIS NEW "PADDINGTON" MOVIE SEEMS A LOT DARKER THAN THE
ORIGINALS. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS ELVIS COSTELLO.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"
STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HAPPY FRIDAY. HAPPY FRIDAY.
>> Jon: HAPPY FRIDAY. >> WE MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER
ONE. >> Jon: MADE IT THROUGH THE
WEEK. >> Stephen: ONE OF THE REASONS
I CAN MAKE IT TO EVERY FRIDAY IS I KNOW I GET TO DO IT FOR A
FRIDAY CROWD. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Jon: FRIDAY AUDIENCE IS SO HYPE.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE THE BLOOD IN MY VEINS.
ALSO TONIGHT ONE OF MY FAVORITE MUSICAL ARTISTS OF ALL TIME IS
HERE. ELVIS COSTELLO IS HERE.
>> YES, INDEED, ELVIS COSTELLO IS INCREDIBLE.
>> Stephen: AN ABSOLUTE GIANT, ROCK 'N' ROLL HALL OF FAMER.
HE IS GOING TO PERFORM. THE IMPOSTERS ARE HERE WITH HIM
TONIGHT, AND HE WILL BE PLAYING WITH THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.
I'M JEALOUS OF THESE PEOPLE. FOLKS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME
RIGHT OVER THERE, SORTING
THROUGH THE DAY'S TOP STORIES, CAREFULLY SELECTING THE
FRESHEST, MOST TOPICAL NEWS-FRUIT, ARTFULLY CARVING IT
INTO SATIRICAL SHAPES, DIPPING IT IN THE FINEST ARTISANAL
CHOCOLATE, AND GENTLY PLACING IT INTO THE FLAWLESSLY COMPOSED AND
DELICIOUS EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
THAT IS MY NIGHTLY MONOLOGUE. BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES,
FOLKS, I WAKE UP FACE DOWN IN THE RECYCLING BIN BEHIND A JAMBA
JUICE, FIGHT A SEAGULL FOR THE DISCARDED CANTALOUPE RINDS
AND PINEAPPLE STEMS, DIP 'EM INTO A BUCKET OF DIESEL SIPHONED
FROM A SEMI FULL OF UNWASHED BIRD BONES, WHICH I USE TO
SKEWER TOGETHER MY GARBAGE KEBABS, THEN STAB 'EM ONTO A
WATERLOGGED TEDDY BEAR TO CREATE THE CRIMINALLY INSANE NIGHTMARE
GIFT BASKET OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
"MEANWHILE!" ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BEEN CLOSELY FOLLOWING MACHINE GUN KELLY AND MEGAN FOX'S
ENGAGEMENT. AFTER DRINKING EACH OTHER'S
BLOOD-- AS YOU DO-- MACHINE GUN KELLY DESIGNED MEGAN FOX'S
RING WITH THORNS SO IT HURT TO TAKE OFF.
MAKES SENSE. AS THE OLD SAYING GOES, "IF YOU
LOVE SOMETHING, DRINK ITS BLOOD, THEN MAKE IT FEAR HARM IF IT
TRIES TO LEAVE, THEN IT'S YOURS."
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, CLIMATE ACTIVIST
GRETA THUNBERG JUST HAD A NEWLY DISCOVERED FROG NAMED AFTER HER.
PRISTIMANTIS GRETATHUNBERGAE WAS DISCOVERED IN A MOUNTAIN RANGE
IN PANAMA. THAT'S VERY NICE.
I ALSO HAPPEN TO HAVE A COUPLE MEMBERS OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM
NAMED AFTER ME, SUCH AS APTOSTICHUS STEPHENCOLBERTI, AND
THE VENEZUELAN DIVING BEETLE AGAPOROMORPHUS COLBERTI, KNOWN
FOR ITS EXTREMELY COMPLICATED MALE GENITALIA.
( LAUGHTER ) GRETA, BUT HOW MESSED UP ARE
YOUR FROG'S GENITALS? ( LAUGHTER )
NOW, DUE TO THEIR RELATIVE PLACES ON THE FOOD CHAIN,
GRETA'S FROGS POSE A DIRECT THREAT TO MY BUGS, SO THIS IS
A WARNING: YOU KEEP THAT SLIMEY TOAD AWAY FROM MY BUGS, GRETA,
OR I WILL POP OPEN A CAN OF "ALEIODES COLBERTI ON YOUR ASS!
YES, IT'S A WASP, AND I CONTROL THEM WITH MY MIND LIKE AQUAMAN,
( APPLAUSE ) AQUA MAN.
AQUA MAN CONTROLS THEM WITH HIS ABS.
MEANWHILE, IN GROSS NEWS, AN OHIO SALON OWNER HAS UNVEILED A
225-POUND BALL OF HUMAN HAIR THAT BROKE "THE GUINNESS WORLD
RECORD." AND HERE'S A LOOK AT IT IN
ACTION. YOU THINK THAT'S BIG, YOU SHOULD
SEE THE CAT THAT COUGHED THIS THING UP.
( LAUGHTER ) BREAKTHROUGH IN MALE
CONTRACEPTION, BECAUSE IN AN EXPERIMENT WITH RODENTS,
SCIENTISTS DISCOVERED THAT WARM BALLS COULD BE THE NEXT
MALE BIRTH CONTROL. AND IT'S SO SIMPLE.
SCIENTISTS WERE ABLE TO TEMPORARILY AND REVERSIBLY
REDUCE FERTILITY MERELY BY INJECTING MICE WITH
IRON OXIDE NANOPARTICLES, PLACING A MAGNET NEXT TO THEIR
BALLS FOR FOUR HOURS TO ATTRACT THE PARTICLES, THEN WRAPPING AN
ELECTRIC COIL AROUND THE TESTICLES AND WARMING THE BALLS
UP TO TEMPERATURES BETWEEN 98 AND 113 DEGREES.
OKAY, OBVIOUSLY THAT SOUNDS GREAT, BUT AM I THE ONLY ONE
HERE WONDERING HOW THE MICE FEEL ABOUT THIS?
"HEY, I DON'T WANNA SEEM LIKE I'M NOT A TEAM PLAYER WITH THESE
ELECTRIC COILS ON MY JUNK, BUT IS IT TOO LATE TO VOLUNTEER TO
HAVE MASCARA RUBBED IN MY EYES?" ( LAUGHTER )
TO CVS TO CHECK OUT THE IRON OXIDE NANOPARTICLE AISLE,
IN SOME OF THE TESTS, THE BALLS ATROPHIED, AND IF THEY WERE
COOKED ABOVE 113 DEGREES, THE BALLS DIDN'T RECOVER.
UNTIL IT'S PERFECTED, MEN WILL HAVE TO RELY ON THE TRIED AND
TRUE MALE CONTRACEPTIVE: TELLING YOUR DATE ABOUT
BLOCKCHAIN. ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, WE HAVE
COSTELLO.
( APPLAUSE ) EVERYBODY, TO "THE LATE SHOW,"
HERE ON CBS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST
TONIGHT IS A GRAMMY AWARD-WINNING SONGWRITER AND
ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAMER WHO IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MUSICIANS
EVER. PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," ELVIS COSTELLO! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ >> A LITTLE BIG CHIEF THERE, A
LITTLE BIG CHIEF. >> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> NEW ORLEANS IN THE HOUSE AS IT IS EVERY NIGHT HERE.
>> Stephen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> LOVELY TO SEE YOU. >> Stephen: I WANT TO ASK YOU
ABOUT THIS PHOTO RIGHT HERE. WHAT IS GOING ON?
IT'S BEEN CALLED A PIRATE RADIO BROADCAST.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? >> WELL, WELL, WHEN I WAS IN
LIVERPOOL, JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS, OR NOT LONG BEFORE--
IS. >> Stephen: CHRISTMAS OF THIS
YEAR. >> CHRISTMAS OF THIS YEAR.
I KNOW IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK. I DISCOVERED A RECORD SHOP, AN
INDEPENDENT RECORD SHOP IN SMITH TOWN ROAD LIVERPOOL 15, ABOUT
HALF A MILE FROM WHERE MY MOTHER WAS BORN.
AND I THOUGHT IF I EVER HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY, I WANT TO PUT THIS
PLACE ON THE MAP FOR PEOPLE WHO STILL LIKE TO BUY RECORDS ON
VINYL. AND THEN I THOUGHT, THEN THE
OWNER, GRAHAM, HAD THE VERY GOOD FORTUNE TO SAY, "YOU KNOW,
THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF RECORDING EQUIPMENT DOWNSTAIRS."
AND I THOUGHT MAYBE I COULD HAVE MY OWN RADIO STATION FOR ONE
NIGHT. EXCEPT, OF COURSE, THESE DAYS
YOU HAVE TO DO IT OVER YOUTUBE. AND HEAVEN KNOWS, THEY STEAL
ENOUGH MONEY FROM US, SO I THOUGHT I WOULD GET A BIT OF IT
BACK BY GOING ON THERE. ( APPLAUSE )
BASEMENT ON SATURDAY NIGHT. MY STAGE MANAGER, TOAST --
>> Stephen: TOAST? >> Stephen: TOAST, YES, HAD
THE ROOM-- WE'RE MOOD LIGHTING AS YOU SEE, AND I PROCEEDED TO
PLAY RECORDS FOR THE NEXT THREE AND A HALF HOURS.
AND WE WERE-- YEAH. THREE AND A HALF HOURS.
( APPLAUSE ) LIKE A PROPER RADIO.
>> Stephen: SURE. >> AND I WAS PLAYING EVERYTHING.
I WAS PLAYING SONGS FROM OUR NEW RECORD "THE BOD NAMED IF."
I WAS PLAYING SONGS FROM OUR LAST RELEASE, "THE SPANISH
MODEL," A REMIX OF THIS YEAR'S MODEL.
WE DISCOVERED THE THICK THAT HAD BEEN HOLDING IT BACK, MY VOICE,
AND PUT A CAST OF SPANISH ARTISTS ON IT.
AND I GOT TO PLAY SOME OF MY FRIENDS, THE NEW FRIENDS WHO
SANG ON THAT RECORD, I GOT TO PLAY SOME OF THEIR SONGS.
I GOT TO PLAY A SEVEN-MINUTE PIECE THAT T-BONE GAVE ME, THAT
HAD NEVER BEEN HEARD BEFORE. IT WAS A WHOLE EVENING OF MUSIC
I WANTED TO PLAY. ANDIT WAS SPECTACULAR BECAUSE
WE WERE HAVING PEOPLE, "I'M LISTENING IN PATAGONIA.
I'M LISTENING IN ST. PETS BURG. I GOT UP AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING
IN TOKYO." IT'S NOT THE SORT OF THING THAT
BECOMES A VIRAL SENITATION, BUT IT WAS TREMENDOUS FUND.
IF I MAY BE SENTIMENTAL TO SOME PEOPLE OR AT LEAST A REAL
EMOTIONAL MOMENT, IT'S A YEAR NEXT WEEK SINCE I LOST MY MOM,
AND SHE WAS A GRAMAPHONE RECORD ASSISTANT.
>> Stephen: A GRAMAPHONE RECORD.
>> KEEP UP, STEPHEN. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A HIGHLY TECHNICAL JOB.
WHAT DID A GRAMAPHONE ASSISTANT DO?
>> WELL, PLAYS RECORDS -- >> Stephen: ASSISTED PLAYING
RECORDS. >> YEAH, ACTUALLY, PHYSICALLY
PUT THEM ON WITH THE NEEDLE. SO, REALLY, I GOT MY LESSON --
>> Stephen: FOR WHOM? WHO DID SHE DO THAT FOR?
>> FOR CUSTOMERS WHO CAME INTO THE SHOP.
WE'RE TALKING WAY BACK, 1943. SHE WAS 14 YEARS OLD.
SHE DID THAT JOB UNTIL I WAS A YOUNG BOY AND TOOK CARE OF ME
AND THAT WAS, BELIEVE ME, A HAND FULL ALWAYS.
THAT WAS A DIFFICULT, FULL -TIME JOB.
BUT I THOUGHT WHEN SOMEBODY PASSES-- AND SHE WAS 93.
SO SHE HAD A WONDERFUL LIFE-- WHAT IS BETTER THAN PLAYING
MUSIC? YOU HAVE SOME IRISH IN YOU,
DON'T YOU? >> Stephen: 100%, YEAH.
>> 100%. I HAVE-- I HAVE A SON WHO IS
MORE IRISH THAN ME. SO THERE'S THE BEGINNING OF, YOU
KNOW, AN IRISH TALE, TO SAY THE LEAST.
TRY TO WORK THAT ONE OUT. BUT, YOU KNOW, I HAD A WAKE,
REALLY, BASICALLY. BUT I DIDN'T PLAY ANY SAD MUSIC.
I PLAYED JOYFUL ROCK 'N' ROLL WITH THE IMPOSTERS, PLAYED SOME
RECORDS I WANT TO HEAR. AND I HAVE TO CONFESS-- I DID
MANAGE TO SPIN FREDDIE KING AT 45, AN ALBUM.
I WENT, WOW, FREDDIE KING IS REALLY BURNING IT UP ON THE
BOARD HERE. AND I REALIZED IT WAS AN ALBUM I
WAS PLAYING AT 45 R.P.M.s. BUT IT MADE IT SEEM LIKE REAL,
RIGHT. I MEAN, THAT'S WHEN PEOPLE KNEW
I WAS REALLY ON THE AIR, RIGHT, IF I MADE A MISTAKE.
WHICH OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, WATCHING THIS SHOW, STEPHEN
NEVER DOES MAKE MISTAKES. ( LAUGHTER ).
SOMEHOW... >> YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ). THINGS.
>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF MOMS, I DON'T KNOW IF I WROTE YOU
AFTER I HEARD YOUR MOTHER PASSED, BUT I CERTAINLY THOUGHT
ABOUT YOU A LOT AFTER THAT HAPPENED.
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. >> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU WERE
SO HELPFUL TO ME IN A WAY YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN MY MOTHER
PASSED. MY MOTHER DIED AT 92, AND
SHORTLY BEFORE SHE DIED, WE WERE ALL-- YOU KNOW, A LOT OF KID.
WE WERE DOWN THERE BASICALLY KIND OF LIKE LOVING HER,
BRUSHING HER HAIR, GIVING HER ICE CHIPS, TRYING TO MAKE HER
COMFORTABLE. AND MY SISTER, MARGOT, HAS JUST
A VOICE OF AN ANGEL, WAS OVER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF HER ONE DAY,
WHILE SHE WAS BRUSHING HER HAIR AND I WAS GIVING MY MOM ICE
CHIPS AND MY SISTER MARGOT STARTED SINGING, "ALL WE HAVE TO
DO IS DREAM," BY THE EVERLY BROTHERS.
>> AND WE SANG THAT TOGETHER. >> Stephen: IT WAS ABOUT A
MONTH BEFORE SHE DIED WE SANG IT TOGETHER AND I KNEW THE HARMONY.
AND I HARMONIZED WITH MY SISTER FOR MY MOTHER.
AND SHE WAS DASLED, "IS THIS ALREADY HEAVEN BECAUSE MY
CHILDREN ARE SINGING TO ME." AND I OWE THAT TO YOU, THAT
MOMENT OF JOY MY MOTHER HAD IN THAT MOMENT IS BECAUSE YOU
INSISTED I LEARN THE HARMONY TO THAT SONG.
>> I'M VERY GLAD WE DID THAT. >> Stephen: I'M TRULY
GRATEFUL. >> THANK YOU, THAN THANK YOU.
( APPLAUSE ) ALL HAVE TO FACE IS SOME PEOPLE
HAVEN'T HAD THAT ABILITY TO SAY GOOD-BYE IN A CLOSE WAY LIKE
THAT. AND, YOU KNOW, I'VE COME TO--
WHEN THE CRISIS CAME FOR MY MOM AT THE END, I WAS IN VANCOUVER,
WHERE I HAD RETREATED WHEN KNOW-- I WAS LITERALLY PULLED
OFF THE STAGE. THEY GOT THE HOOK.
I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOW AND THEY SAID, "YOU CAN'T GO
ON." I SAID, "THE MUSIC'S NOT THAT
BAD." "NO, REALLY, THERE'S A WORLD
CRISIS APPROACHING." DAYS LATER I WAS HOME WITH THE
FAMILY ON VANCOUVER ISLAND AND THAT'S WHERE WE STAYED FOR A
WHILE AND IN THAT TIME, UNFORTUNATELY, MY MOM PASSED.
AND LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE, WE HAD THE VIRTUAL FUNERAL.
AND THANKS TO MY FRIENDS AND ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED ME DO
TI GOT TO PLAY SOME MUSIC AND TALK ABOUT WHAT I JUST SAID.
I AM GLAD THAT WE CAN BOTH SHARE THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT MOMENT.
AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO THAT.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK
ELVIS ABOUT THE PREMIERE OF "GET BAK," AND WHAT WAS LIKE TO
COLLABORATE WITH PAUL McCARTNEY.
STICK AROUND. ♪ ♪ ♪
BE. THIS MOMENT IS WHY.
HEY, EVERYBODY. WE'RE BACK HERE WITH ELVIS
COSTELLO. YOU AND YOUR LOVELY AND TALENTED
WIFE WENT TO THE LONDON PREMIERE OF "GET BACK" WHICH FOR PEOPLE
WHO HAVE NOT SEEN IT-- >> I HAVE NOT HEARD YOU MENTION
IT THAT. HAVE YOU SEEN IT, STEPHEN?
I HAVE NOT HEARD YOU MENTION THAT?
>> Stephen: I'M SLIGHTLY OBSESSED.
A LITTLE BIT. WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO BE THERE?
LIKE, McCARTNEY WAS THERE. >> PAUL McCARTNEY WAS-- HE
ACTUALLY INTRODUCED THE FILM. AND I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, YOU
KNOW, MOST OF THE OF US THAT HAVE WATCHED IT, HAVE SEEN IT ON
DISNEY, WHATEVER THAT IS. AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S ON A
RELATIVELY SMALL SCREEN, OR WHATEVER SIZE YOUR TV IS.
THIS WAS IN AN IMAX THEATER IN THE CENTER OF LONDON.
>> Stephen: WOW! >> SO, YOU KNOW, THIS WAS SOME
VERY BIG RINGO. THIS WAS, LIKE RIPPINGO MAX UP
THERE. >> Stephen:URE SURE, SURE.
>> AND PETER JACKSON. IT WAS A SORT OF EDITED VERSION
FOR THE SCREEN. SO PETER JACKSON SPOKE ABOUT THE
PROCESS OF EDITING AND RESTORING THE FILM.
I DID NOTICE HE WAS HOLDING A DIFFERENT BEATLE GUITAR EVERY
TIME THEY CUT TO HIM. HE WOULD BE HOLDING A BASS LIKE
PAUL PLAYED -- >> Stephen: JACKSON WOULD.
>> YES, AND HE EXPLAINED IT, AND WE WATCHED ONE OF THE DAYS OF
THE FOOTAGE. AND MOST OF THE ROOFTOP CONCERT.
SO IT WAS PRETTY THRILLING. THE THING, HONESTLY, THOUGH, WE
HAD THE GOOD FORTUNE TO GO AFTER THE SCREENING TO THE PARTY, AND
I -- YOU KNOW, THE ONE THING THEY NOTICED AT THE PARTY WERE,
OF COURSE, PAUL'S DAUGHTER, MARY, AND DANNY HARRISON,
GEORGE'S SON, AND THE SON OF GEORGE MARTIN.
AND I THOUGHT HOW VERY BEAUTIFUL FOR THEM TO SEE THEIR PARENTS AS
YOUNG PEOPLE, INCLUDING THE BEATLES, YOU KNOW, WHO-- I WAS,
LIKE, NINE YEARS OLD WHEN THE BEATLES HIT.
I WAS IN THEIR FAN CLUB. FOR ME IT WAS VERY STRANGE TO BE
AT A PARTY WITH PAUL McCARTNEY AND HIS FAMILY OBSERVING THAT.
>> Stephen: HOW WEIRD MUST IT BE FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE
WRITTEN WITH PAUL. SEEING THE WAY HE'S
COLLABORATING WITH JOHN, HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.
WHAT A LOVE STORY THAT IS. WHAT'S IT LIKE TO WRITE WITH HIM
AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN A FAN YOUR WHOLE LIFE?
>> THE ONE THING I HAD TO KEEP IN MY MIND IS I WAS ME, AND HE
ASKED ME-- HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO TURN UP IN SHORT TROUSERS AND
TALK ABOUT BEING A FAN OF THE BEATLES WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KIT
KID. HE WANTED ME TO BE 33-- OR
WHATEVER AGE IT WAS-- WHEN WE WROTE THESE 15 SONGS.
AND HE WAS VERY GENEROUS, HE SAT ACROSS FROM ME AND WE PLAYED
MUSIC. I DARE SAY THERE WAS SOME
SIMILARITIES THE WAY WE WROTE THE SONGS BUT WE DIDN'T WRITE "I
WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND." THOSE GUYS WERE TEENAGED FRIENDS
WHO WENT TO OUTER SPACE ON A MISSION THAT WE ALL GET TO SEE
THE END OF IN "GET BACK." FOR ME, I WAS SOMEBODY LUCKY
ENOUGH TO WORK WITH PAUL. I MET THAT FAMILY WHEN HIS SON
RAN INTO MY STUDIO, IN 1982, PURSUED BY HIS ELDER SISTER,
PURSUED BY HIS ELDER ELDER SISTER, AND MOTHER, JUST LIKE
ANY KID. AND I WAS LIKE WHO IS THAT
LITTLE BLOND KID. THAT'S JAMES McCARTNEY, THAT'S
STELLA McCARTNEY, AND THIS IS LINDA McCARTNEY.
THAT WAS A VERY BIZARRE MOMENT, BUT I WAS 26, 27 WHEN THAT
HAPPENED. SO I'M NOT 26 NOW.
I'M 36. ( LAUGHTER )
GREAT. YOU LOOK GREAT.
>> IT WAS A REALLY WONDERFUL THING I HAVE TO SAY.
>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF THE CREATIVE PROCESS AND HOW
MUSICIANS WORK, THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO WERE
SAYING, WHO WERE SPECULATING OLIVIA RODRIGO ON HER SONG
"BRUTAL" WAS LIFTING PART OF "PUMP IT UP," YOUR SONG.
AND THIS WAS-- YOU KNOW, THIS WAS SPECULATE ONLINE.
AND YOU SAID VERY GENEROUSLY, "THIS IS FINE BY ME, BILLY.
IT'S HOW ROCK 'N' ROLL WORKS. YOU TAKE THE BROKEN PIECES OF
ANOTHER THRILL AND MAKE A BRAND NEW TOY.
THAT'S WHAT I DID." >> YEAH.
BY THE WAY-- ( APPLAUSE )
CONFUSED. WHEN I SAID "BILLY" I THOUGHT I
WAS SPEAKING TO BILLIE EILISH. AND I THOUGHT THERE'S A POUND
NOTE IN THIS. OBVIOUSLY, THIS WAS SOMEBODY WHO
WROTE INDIGNANTLY ONLINE, AND I DON'T OFTEN WRITE BACK, BUT
THERE THIS CASE I DID, AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW IT WAS IN THE
NEWSPAPER PURPOSE DO THEY STILL HAVE NEWSPAPERS, I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: THEY DO, YET. >> I DID THINK IT WAS A LITTLE
SILLY BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY MY SONG "PUMP IT UP" WAS, I DON'T THINK
YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE A JEANEROUS TO KNOW I HEARD-- BOB HAD HEARD
CHUCK BERRY'S "TOO MUCH MORNINGY BUSINESS" AND THERE ARE SONGS IN
BETWEEN AND SINCE THAT HAVE ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, TAKEN THAT
DELIVERY OF QUICK WORDS OVER A SIMPLE RIFF, AND THAT'S KIND OF
HOW ROCK 'N' ROLL DOES WORK. >> Stephen: IS THERE AN ARTIST
WO YOU PERHAPS HAVE GIVEN TRIBUTE TO THE MOST IN YOUR
WORK? >> I DON'T KNOW WHETHER THERE'S
ONE, BUT IT ALL GETS WRAPPED UP. AND THAT'S WHAT YOU HOPE TO DO.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
STICK AROUND AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ELVIS COSTELLO,
WE'RE BACK WITH ELVIS COSTELLO. YOU HAVE AN AUDIBLE BOOK HERE,
AN AUDIO BOOK. "HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR AND
WHY." IT'S AVAILABLE ON AUDIBLE RIGHT
NOW. I'LL START WITH WHY.
WHY PLAY THE GUITAR, ELVIS COSTELLO?
>> THE KEY WORD IN THIS TITLE IS "PLAY," IS "PLAY."
BUT NOT PLAY AS IN A SERIOUS THING.
I'M NOT-- YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED I'M NOT A CONCERT PIANIST.
I'M A GUITAR PLAYER THAT KNOWS A HANDFUL OF CHORDS SOME GOT A BIT
MORE COMPLICATED, I'LL ADMIT. I HAD TO STUMBLE AROUND ON THE
GUITAR. NOW, HERE'S THE THEORY I HAVE:
ANYBODY WHO HAS EVER PLAYED THE GUITAR IN "C," WHICH I KNOW I'VE
SEEN YOU DO-- ENCOUNTERS A MECHANICALLY NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE
CHORD, THE CHORD OF "F," THE NEXT ONE YOU'RE LIKELY TO
ENCOUNTER. AND MANY PEOPLE IN THE HUMAN
RACE HOLD THE GUITAR AGAINST THE WALL, SMASH IT, AND THEN GO ON A
MURDEREROUS RAMPAGE THROUGH LIFE.
WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE DICTATORS AND CERTAIN TYPES OF SADISTIC
KIND OF CHIROPRACTOR, AND, YOU KNOW, MURDERERS.
THEY'RE ALL EXGUITAR PLAYERS THAT ARE FRUSTRATED.
I THOUGHT IF I COULD SHOW PEOPLE HOW FOOLISH YOU HAVE TO FEEL
BEFORE YOU LEARN THE FEW CHORDS THAT CAN UNLOCK A SIMPLE
THREE-CHORD, FOUR-CHORD VONG-- ONCE YOU LEARN 4 CHORDZ YOU CAN
PLAY ABOUT 1,000 SONGS. ONCE YOU DO THAT, YOU CAN SAY
I'LL SHOW OFF IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS OR SERENADE MY TRUE LOVE
OR WRITE A SYMPHONY, AS YOU OF I KNOW YOU HAVE DONE.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEARN ALL THE CHORDS.
>> Stephen: I NEVER GOT THAT "F" BAR CHORD.
I NEVER GOT THE "F" BAR CHORD. >> PLAY LIKE A CHILD, ACT LIKE A
CHILD. >> Stephen: SAY THAT AGAIN.
>> PLAY LIKE A CHILD, PLAY AS A CHILD DOES, WITH JOY, AND KEEP
THE INNER IDIOT ALIVE. >> Stephen: WELL, I'M IN FAVOR
OF THAT. ( APPLAUSE )
ONLY TO BE A FOOL WHILE SPRING IS IN THE WORLD.
SPEAKING OF THE CHILD, THE NEW ALBUM IS CALLED "THE BOY NAMED
IF." WHO IS THE BOY NAMED IF?
>> IT'S LIKE YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND, WHICH A CHARMING
INVENTION CHILDREN MAKE WHEN THEY'RE SEVEN FOR HAVING BROKEN
A CUP. "OH, IT WASN'T ME.
IT WAS JIMMY." SOME IMAGINARY FRIEND.
OR CHARLIE OR HORACE. AND THEN WHEN YOU GET A LITTLE
OLDER, YOU START SAYING, "WELL, I HAD TO STAY OUT TILL 3:00 A.M.
I HAD TO, YOU KNOW. I HAD TO SLEEP WITH HER BECAUSE
SHE MADE ME. IT WAS MY OTHER SIDE.
IT'S-- IT'S THE ALIBI YOU MAKE FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS.
AND IT'S A LITTLE LESS ENDEARING.
I THINK IT'S A LITTLE KNOW-- SO, I THOUGHT, WELL, LET'S FOLLOW
THAT STORY. WHEN YOU HAVE THE GUITAR IN YOUR
HAND AND THE "F" CHORD ISN'T HOLDING YOU BACK, THE SONGS TEND
TO COME OUT OF YOU FAST AND ALL THE WORDS ARE DRAKD OUT.
AND I HAD THESE SONGS ON THE TABLE IN THE SUMMER OF 2020.
, AND I REALIZED THAT ONCE I'D WRITTEN THEM, THEY WERE SORT OF
LITTLE SCENES FROM DIFFERENT TIMES IN LIFE, GETTING ALL THE
WAY TO BEING A WRETCHED OLD SCOUNDREL LOOKING BACK AT YOUR
SINFUL THINGS. >> Stephen: YOU ALSO HAVE A
BOOK OF REALLY, REALLY, SHORT STORIES.
>> REALLY SHORT. >> Stephen: ONE, TWO-PAGE
STORIES TO GO WITH IT, ALSO CALLED "A BOY NAMED IF: 13 SONGS
AND 13 FABLES." WHICH CAME FIRST?
DID THE STORY COME FIRST? >> NO THE SONGS.
THIS RECORD ALBUM IS WHAT I REALLY LOVE.
THAT WOULD BE MY WAY OF LISTENING IF IT WERE MY CHOICE.
IT'S GREAT YOU CAN GET ALL THE MUSIC INSTANTANEOUSLY, CARRY IT
AROUND WITH YOU, ALL THAT STUFF. YOU GET TO ENJOY ALL OF IT.
YOU COULD GET A SET. >> Stephen: BUT A DOUBLE ALBUM
IS THE BEST. >> THEY HAVE TO SPLIT IT FOR THE
SOUND OVER TWO DISKS WILL. IT'S A SINGLE RECORD, 13 SONGS.
THEY TOLD ME ORIGINALLY THERE WAS A SHORTAGE OF VINYL AND I
WAS THINKING OF ASKING IF THEY COULD PRESS IS ON SHELLAC.
>> Stephen: LIKE THE OLD ALBUMS.
>> BUT SHELLAC IS MADE OF BEETLES AND WE DON'T WANT TO
KILL THAT MANY BEETLES TO MAKE MY RECORD ALBUM.
>> Stephen: AND HIGHLY FLAMMABLE.
>> HIGHLY FLAMMABLE, THOSE BEETLES, DOUBLY, AND I THOUGHT
WHAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN THAT, MAYBE A STORYBOOK.
THEY ARE SORT OF LIKE CHILDREN'S STORIES FOR GROWN -UPS.
DISOME SCRIBBLING DRAWINGS AND CARTOONS AND DID AN ILLUSTRATED
STORYBOOK IS WHAT IT IS. IT'S LIKE A CHILDREN'S STORYBOOK
FOR ADULTS. >> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TO DO
A SONG. WHICH ONE ARE WE HEARD?
>> I THINK WE'RE GOING TO PLAY "MAGNIFICENT HERD," WHICH IS
ABOUT THE ROLLER COASTER OF LOVE, AND YOU CAN SORT OF-- IT
CAN ALMOST HURT YOU WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING SO BADLY.
YOU MUST HAVE HAD THAT FEELING, HAVEN'T YOU?
I THINK UP THERE IN THE BALCONY. DEFINITELY.
YOU WANT SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT ACTUALLY IS THAT LITTLE BIT OF A
TWIST OF THE KNIFE. SO, YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
>> Stephen: "THE ALBUM IS "THE BOY NAMED IF."
THERE IS ALSO A BOOK OF THE SAME NAME.
STICK AROUND FOR A PERFORMANCE BY ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE
IMPOSTERS. ELVIS COSTELLO, EVERYBODY!
>> Stephen: AND NOW, PERFORMING "MAGNIFICENT HURT" FROM THEIR
ALBUM, "THE BOY NAMED IF," ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE IMPOSTERS.
( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ AFTER TALKING IN TONGUES I BEGAN TO PREACH
♪ WHAT FALLS FROM THE BRANCH ISN'T APPLE OR PEACH
♪ HOLD ON TO ME THERE'S A RED ALERT
♪ IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL MAGNIFICENT HURT
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I TOOK A LITTLE WALK
I TOOK ANOTHER STIMULANT ♪ I SHED A SINGLE TEAR
FOR MY PREDICAMENT ♪ DON'T ACT SURPRISED
OR INSOLENT ♪ IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL
MAGNIFICENT HURT ♪ WHEN WE FIRST MET
I KNEW YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL ♪ YOU FIT LIKE THE SEAT OF
A BLUE MOHAIR SUIT ♪ AND THE PAIN THAT I FELT
LET ME KNOW I'M ALIVE ♪ AND I OPENED MY HEART
TO THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL ♪ MAGNIFICENT HURT
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I SPEAK LOW AND INTIMATE
LIKE A CARDBOARD SOPHISTICATE ♪ WHAT IF THIS IS TRUE LOVE?
NOT SOME TOWN HALL CERTIFICATE ♪ IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL
MAGNIFICENT HURT ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I STOOD AT THE DOOR
AND I ALMOST WENT ♪ THROUGH WITH IT
TIGHT AS THE ANGLE ♪ OF MY AMEN
AND I SWORE ♪ THERE AND THEN
AS I FEIGN AND I FLIRT ♪ I UNBUTTONED MY SHIRT
TO THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL ♪ MAGNIFICENT HURT
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL ♪ IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL
IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL ♪ MAGNIFICENT ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) PERFORMANCE FROM THEM ON
colbertlateshow.com. ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE
IMPOSTERS, EVERYBODY!. THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN I'LL BE JOINED BY KRISTEN STEWART,
MARLEE MATLIN, AND JONATHAN VAN NESS.
GOOD NIGHT!