1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,003 FLIGHT DELAYS AND CANCELLATIONS FROM COVID AND 2 00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,539 WEATHER, THERE'S ANOTHER REASON YOU MAY SPEND MORE TIME WAITING 3 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:09,309 AT THE AIRPORT. MAJOR AIRLINES WARN THAT THE 4 00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:13,580 TELECOM INDUSTRY'S PLAN TO TURN ON NEW 5G WIRELESS TECHNOLOGY 5 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:18,284 COULD INTERFERE WITH AIRPLANES. ♪ ♪ ♪ 6 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,820 >> ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT 5G MESSING WITH YOUR AIRPLANE? 7 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:26,259 WELL, THEN, THERE'S NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME TO GO GREYHOUND. 8 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:30,163 YES, WE'RE STILL IN BUSINESS. AND AT GREYHOUND, WE DON'T LET 9 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,799 ANYTHING AFFECT OUR SCHEDULE-- NOT 5G, WEATHER, A CORPSE 10 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:37,804 FALLING OUT OF THE LUGGAGE COMPARTMENT, LACK OF ROAD, OR 11 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,473 EVEN A SHOOT-OUT. PLUS, WE HAVE AMENITIES THAT 12 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:44,043 AIRLINES DON'T, LIKE HUNGRY WOLVES. 13 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,279 THIS CLOWN WITH A KNIFE. AND MEMBERSHIP IN OUR 14 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:49,382 FOUR-FOOT-HIGH CLUB. SO IF YOU NEED TO TRAVEL IN A 15 00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:52,886 JIFFY-- GIVE OR TAKE 20 HOURS-- HOP ON BOARD. 16 00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:54,287 GREYHOUND: BECAUSE SELDOM IS THE WORD "PLUNGE" ASSOCIATED WITH A 17 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:58,291 BUS. 18 00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:02,262 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 19 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:08,835 TONIGHT: TEST DAY EVER! 20 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:12,138 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: CHRISTINE BARANSKI 21 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,808 AND MUSICAL GUEST, NATION OF LANGUAGE. 22 00:01:14,874 --> 00:01:18,278 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY 23 00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:24,150 HUMAN. 24 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,619 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 25 00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:32,826 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 26 00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:40,767 >> Stephen: I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. 27 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:44,838 THERE YOU GO. PERFECT. 28 00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:46,272 PERFECT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 29 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:59,652 HELLO, JON. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 30 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,821 HEY, LOUIS. HAPPY WEDNESDAY. 31 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:04,858 HAPPY WEDNESDAY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 32 00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:10,597 WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." 33 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:19,839 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 34 00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:25,178 BEEN THAT LONG, BUT TRUTH IS, TOMORROW IS ONE YEAR OF JOE 35 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:29,215 BIDEN'S PRESIDENCY. AND TO MARK THE OCCASION 36 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:35,655 ( APPLAUSE ). PRESS CONFERENCE TODAY. 37 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:38,324 THEN AGAIN, HE'S 79. I GUESS HE'S ALWAYS GOING TO GO 38 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:45,899 FOR THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL. THE PRESIDENT OUTLINED THE 39 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,300 VARIOUS WAYS HIS ADMINISTRATION IS TRYING TO FIGHT THE PANDEMIC 40 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:54,674 WITHOUT ADDITIONAL SHUTDOWNS. >> WE HAVE THE TOOLS-- VACCINES, 41 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:58,111 BOOSTERS, MASKS, TESTS, PILLS-- TO SAVE LIVES AND KEEP 42 00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:02,215 BUSINESSES AND SCHOOLS OPEN. >> Stephen: YES, WE HAVE A LOT 43 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,050 OF TOOLS TO SAVE LIVES. UNFORTUNATELY, WE ALSO HAVE A 44 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,653 LOT OF TOOLS WHO REFUSE TO USE THOSE TOOLS. 45 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:18,698 ( LAUGHTER ) SPEAKING OF WHICH, IT'S A BIG 46 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:26,272 DAY FOR AMERICA'S NOSTRILS, BECAUSE-- YOU KNOW IT IS COMING. 47 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,741 BECAUSE TODAY THE WHITE HOUSE LAUNCHED THE US GOVERNMENT'S 48 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:31,544 FREE COVID TESTING KIT WEBSITE: cvidtests.gov 49 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,581 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THEY'RE WAITING. 50 00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:37,116 YOU PAID FOR THEM. YOU ALREADY PAID FOR THEM. 51 00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:41,254 GO GET THEM. ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LOG ON, PUT 52 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:46,659 IN YOUR ADDRESS, AND THE FEDS WILL SEND YOU FOUR FREE AT-HOME 53 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,362 COVID-19 TESTS. FOUR TESTS! 54 00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:53,967 OKAY. ( APPLAUSE ) 55 00:03:54,033 --> 00:04:00,473 EACH NOSTRIL AND TWO FOR, YOU KNOW, DEALER'S CHOICE. 56 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:04,377 IT WORKS. IT WORKS WHEREVER YOU PUT THEM. 57 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,678 THAT'S WHAT I HEAR. IS THAT TRUE? 58 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:10,583 THEY'RE TELLING ME THAT'S NOT TRUE. 59 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:11,751 THE WHITE HOUSE ACTUALLY LAUNCHED THE SITE YESTERDAY, ONE 60 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:17,256 DAY AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. SO, 677 DAYS INTO THE PANDEMIC, 61 00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:19,859 WE GOT ACCESS TO FREE TESTS ONE DAY SOONER THAN WE THOUGHT. 62 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:23,663 ( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU, SIR. 63 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,065 THAT'S WHY HE MOVED UP THE PRESS CONFERENCE. 64 00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:31,237 THAT'S WHY HE MOVED IT UP. SO FAR, FREE AND ACCESSIBLE 65 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:34,841 HEALTHCARE IS PRETTY POPULAR. AS OF LAST NIGHT, covidtests.gov 66 00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:38,678 HAD MORE THAN 1 MILLION VISITORS, WHICH IS MORE THAN 40 67 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:42,682 TIMES AS MANY AS THE GOVERNMENT SITE WITH THE NEXT HIGHEST 68 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:47,220 TRAFFIC, WHICH I ASSUME IS shirtlessdougemhoff.gov/ yardwor. 69 00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:49,355 ( LAUGHTER ) I DID NOT EXPECT HIM-- I DID NOT 70 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:52,892 EXPECT HIM TO BE SO CUT. >> Jon: HE GOT HIMSELF 71 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,561 TOGETHER. UH-HUH. 72 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,296 YEAH. >> Stephen: THE CLIPPERS WORK 73 00:04:57,363 --> 00:05:03,603 THE OBLIQUES, MAN. I MEAN, THERE WERE A FEW 74 00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,271 HICCUPS. SOME PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN 75 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:09,142 APARTMENT BUILDINGS RECEIVED ERRORS SAYING TESTS ALREADY HAD 76 00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:10,677 BEEN ORDERED FOR THEIR ADDRESS. SO TO MAKE UP FOR IT, THE POST 77 00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:14,113 OFFICE IS GOING TO SEND THOSE PEOPLE A THOUSAND BLUE APRON 78 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:15,214 MAILERS AND A WATER BILL FOR SOMEONE WHO LIVED THERE 20 79 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:18,685 YEARS AGO. ( LAUGHTER ) 80 00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:26,225 THE FREE TEST ISN'T THE ONLY GOOD NEWS. 81 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:28,327 EXPERTS SAY THE END OF THE OMICRON WAVE IS IN SIGHT. 82 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:34,100 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: YEAH! 83 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:40,306 WE NEED IT! >> Stephen: IT'S IN SIGHT, BUT 84 00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:43,609 I CAN'T SEE IT, BECAUSE MY GLASSES ARE ALWAYS FOGGED UP 85 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,946 FROM MY MASK. ONE GROUP THAT CAN'T WAIT FOR 86 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:50,683 COVID TO END IS LIBRARIANS, BECAUSE SOME PUBLIC LIBRARIES 87 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,252 ARE BEING USED AS CORONAVIRUS TEST DISTRIBUTION SITES, AND 88 00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:57,156 LIBRARIANS HAVE BECOME THE LATEST FRONTLINE WORKERS. 89 00:05:57,223 --> 00:06:02,061 AND THEY DO NOT APPRECIATE THE BANGING OF POTS AND PANS. 90 00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:05,098 ( LAUGHTER ) TOOK A WHILE. 91 00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:12,538 IT TOOK YOU A WHILE TO REALIZE, ABOUT A YEAR AGO WE USED TO... 92 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,640 IN CERTAIN CITIES LIKE WASHINGTON, D.C., PUBLIC 93 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:17,643 LIBRARIES PROVIDED P.C.R. TESTS THAT PATRONS HAD TO TAKE HOME TO 94 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:22,682 USE THEN DEPOSIT IN A DROPBOX AT THE LIBRARY. 95 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:26,385 SO YOUR TEST WILL BE HELD IN THE SAME LABORATORY CONDITIONS AS 96 00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:27,453 STICKY COPIES OF "PAT THE BUNNY" AND A BROKEN VHS OF 97 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,656 "GREMLINS 2." ( LAUGHTER ) 98 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:38,664 THE SYSTEM WORKS. "GREMLINS 2, FANS." 99 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:41,334 THE SYSTEM WORKS, BUT MAYBE TOO WELL, BECAUSE NOW, LIBRARY 100 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,971 PHONES RING EVERY FEW MINUTES WITH YET ANOTHER CALL, ASKING 101 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,672 MEDICAL QUESTIONS LIBRARY WORKERS AREN'T TRAINED TO 102 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,875 ANSWER. HAVEN'T WE GIVEN LIBRARIANS 103 00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:54,680 ENOUGH TO DO? THEY'RE ALREADY OUR BABYSITTERS, 104 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,683 OUR TUTORS, AND THE ONLY ONES BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK THAT MAN AT 105 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,885 THE COMPUTER TO PLEASE CLOSE HIS PORNOGRAPHY TABS DURING THE 106 00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,487 PUPPET SHOW. ( LAUGHTER ) 107 00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:04,724 WE'VE ALSO-- ( APPLAUSE ) 108 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:12,832 WE'VE ALSO GOT COVID NEWS FROM FLORIDA. 109 00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:16,269 TODAY WE LEARNED THE FLORIDA DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH SUSPENDED 110 00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:18,704 A MEDICAL DIRECTOR AFTER HE SENT AN EMAIL ENCOURAGING STAFF TO 111 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:26,112 GET VACCINATED. YEAH, WELL, I MEAN, COME ON. 112 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,147 IT'S KIND OF PRESUMPTUOUS OF HIM TO ASSUME THAT RESIDENTS OF 113 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:29,515 FLORIDA HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE. ( LAUGHTER ) 114 00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:39,091 THEY MADE A CHOICE. THEY MADE A CHOICE! 115 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:42,395 THE OFFICIAL IN QUESTON IS DR. RAUL PINO, WHO LEADS THE HEALTH 116 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,163 DEPARTMENT IN ORANGE COUNTY. IN AN EMAIL TO HIS DEPARTMENT 117 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:48,134 EARLIER THIS MONTH, PINO WROTE THAT HE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONLY 118 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:52,138 219 OUT OF 568 STAFF MEMBERS HAD RECEIVED TWO DOSES OF THE 119 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,807 VACCINE, ADDING, "I AM SORRY, BUT IN THE ABSENCE OF REASONABLE 120 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:58,511 AND REAL REASONS, IT IS IRRESPONSIBLE NOT TO BE 121 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,780 VACCINATED. I HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING 122 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:06,719 HOW WE CAN BE IN PUBLIC HEALTH AND NOT PRACTICE IT." 123 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:12,191 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 100%! 124 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:15,494 IT IS. HE'S RIGHT. 125 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:18,731 IT IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND. YET ANOTHER FLORIDA MYSTERY, 126 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,466 LIKE WHY DO SO MANY OLD PEOPLE MOVE THERE THE MINUTE THEY GET 127 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:24,170 TOO SLOW TO OUTRUN AN ALLIGATOR? ( LAUGHTER ) 128 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:30,743 RING THE DINNER BELL. THERE'S BAD NEWS FOR FORMER 129 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,345 PRESIDENT "GIRTH, WIND, AND LIAR." 130 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:42,722 ( LAUGHTER ) ♪ DO YOU REMEMBER ♪ 131 00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:45,558 FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS, HE HAS BEEN UNDER CIVIL INVESTIGATION 132 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:49,629 BY NEW YORK ATTORNEY GENERAL LETITIA JAMES. 133 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,098 WELL LAST NIGHT-- ( APPLAUSE ) 134 00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:56,502 WELL, LAST NIGHT IN COURT FILINGS, JAMES OUTLINED A 135 00:08:56,569 --> 00:09:00,673 PATTERN OF POSSIBLE FRAUD AT THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S BUSINESS. 136 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,676 THAT'S BELIEVABLE. CERTAINLY MORE BELIEVABLE THAN A 137 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:09,782 PATTERN OF BUSINESS AT THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S FRAUD. 138 00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,717 JAMES FILED THIS MOTION IN RESPONSE TO THE FORMER 139 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,420 PRESIDENT'S ATTEMPT TO BLOCK HER FROM QUESTIONING HIM AND TWO OF 140 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,456 HIS ADULT CHILDREN UNDER OATH. LORD, PLEASE MAKE THAT HAPPEN. 141 00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:21,160 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I DON'T-- I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH, 142 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:26,065 AND I DON'T ASK OFTEN. ALL I WANT-- ALL I WANT BEFORE I 143 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:31,103 DIE IS SEE DON JR. SWEAR IN ON A JAR OF HAIR GEL. 144 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:35,308 IT'S THE ONLY THING HE BELIEVES IN. 145 00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:36,742 JAMES SAYS THAT HER OFFICE HAS UNCOVERED SIGNIFICANT EVIDENCE 146 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,412 THAT THE FORMER PRESIDENT FRAUDULENTLY VALUED MULTIPLE 147 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:42,715 ASSETS, INCLUDING HIS OWN PRIVATE RESIDENCE. 148 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:47,486 HE CLAIMED THE TRIPLEX APARTMENT WAS 30,000 SQUARE FEET IN SIZE, 149 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:50,156 BUT THE ACTUAL SIZE WAS JUST UNDER 11,000 SQUARE FEET. 150 00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:53,859 YEAH, THAT'S NO SURPRISE. HE'S KNOWN FOR FALSELY TRIPLING 151 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:54,994 THE SIZE OF HIS ASSETS. ( LAUGHTER ) 152 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:58,597 HE ONCE TOLD STORMY DANIELS HIS PENIS WAS THREE INCHES. 153 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:04,136 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT-- 154 00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:14,380 ( APPLAUSE ) BIGGEST FRAUD CONTINUES TO BE 155 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:17,917 HIS CLAIM THAT HE WON RE-ELECTION. 156 00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,151 THE HOUSE SELECT COMMITTEE ON JANUARY 6 IS BUSY GETTING TO THE 157 00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:24,724 BOTTOM OF THAT LIE. AND YESTERDAY, THEY SUBPOENAED 158 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:28,227 RUDY GIULIANI. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 159 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:36,836 AT LONG LAST, WE'LL FIND OUT IF RUDY ACTUALLY SAID AND DID WHAT 160 00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:41,741 WE SAW HIM SAY AND DO LIVE ON TV. 161 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,909 THE PANEL WANTS TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HOW RUDY PUSHED 162 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,745 FALSE CLAIMS THAT THE FORMER PREZ WON THE 2020 ELECTION AND 163 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:49,749 ARE SEEKING ALL THE DOCUMENTS HE HAS RELATING TO THE SEIZURE OF 164 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,417 VOTING MACHINES, CONTACT WITH MEMBERS OF CONGRESS, AND ANY 165 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,753 ARRANGEMENTS FOR HIS ATTORNEY'S FEES. 166 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:58,691 AND "THE LATE SHOW" HAS ACQUIRED ONE-- ONE OF THESE? 167 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:02,328 ONE OF RUDY'S INVOICES: $40,000 FOR ATTORNEY FEES, AND 168 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:05,731 $10,000 FOR FRANZIA, COMMA, KIDDIE POOL FULL OF." 169 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:09,735 ( LAUGHTER ) THE SELECT COMMITTEE HAS ALSO 170 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:13,739 SUBPOENAED THE PHONE RECORDS OF FORMER SECOND SON, ERIC. 171 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:18,978 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) COULD BE GOOD. 172 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,346 NOT SURE HOW MUCH YOU CAN LEARN FROM THE PHONE RECORDS OF 173 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,747 SOMEONE WHO ANSWERS THE "SCAM LIKELY" NUMBER HOPING IT'S HIS 174 00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:25,751 DAD. ( LAUGHTER ) 175 00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:32,725 SPEAKING OF PHONES, TODAY VERIZON AND AT&T TURNED ON A 176 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:33,926 MAJOR NEW PART OF THEIR 5G NETWORKS. 177 00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:37,863 OF COURSE, IF YOU GOT THE VACCINE, YOU ALREADY HAVE 5G. 178 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:41,734 ( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO INITIATE 179 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:45,738 A HARD RESET. JUST INSERT A PAPERCLIP INTO THE 180 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:49,742 BACK OF YOUR NECK WHILE HOLDING DOWN THE BLUETOOTH BUTTON ON 181 00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:54,113 YOUR GIANT BALLS. ( APPLAUSE ). 182 00:11:54,180 --> 00:12:01,754 THERE'S ONE SMALL PROBLEM: OFFICIALS ARE WORRIED 5G SIGNALS 183 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,989 COULD LEAD TO AIRPLANE CRASHES. OKAY, BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, 184 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:10,930 YOU CAN STREAM "YELLOWJACKETS" ALL THE WAY DOWN. 185 00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:13,766 ( LAUGHTER ) SIMILAR SEGMENTS OF THE RADIO 186 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:20,339 SPECTRUM, SOME OFFICIALS ARE WORRIED THAT 5G 187 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,941 SERVICE WILL INTERFERE WITH SENSITIVE INSTRUMENTS THAT 188 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:23,709 MEASURE ALTITUDE ON SOME PLANES. OKAY, THEN TO PROTECT IT, WHY 189 00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,778 DON'T THEY JUST PUT THE AIRPLANE INTO AIRPLANE MODE? 190 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:29,348 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 191 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,184 MY GUEST IS CHRISTINE BARANSKI BUT WHEN WE RETURN, IS THERE 192 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:36,956 SUCH A THING AS TOO RICH? YES. 193 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,764 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 194 00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,000 JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, THE BAND. 195 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:28,774 THE BAND. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 196 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:36,549 I HOLD-- I HOLD-- I HOLD IN MY HOT LITTLE HAND THE QUESTIONS 197 00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:38,851 FOR TONIGHT'S GUEST, CHRISTINE BARANSKI. 198 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,954 >> Jon: OH, YES. >> Stephen: NATIONAL TREASURE. 199 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:46,458 SHE'S IN THAT NEW SHOW "THE GILDED AGE" ON HBO, BY THE SAME 200 00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:51,697 PEOPLE WHO MADE DOWNTON ABBEY, SUPER-FANCY NEW YORK STUFF. 201 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:56,435 I'VE SEEN IT BECAUSE I'M FANCY. WE KNOW YOU RACKED UP 11 GRAMMY 202 00:13:56,502 --> 00:14:02,841 NOMINATIONS THIS YEAR. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 203 00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:06,912 JUST LIKE-- JUST LIKE LAST YEAR, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, TWO YEARS OF 204 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:09,615 THIS PANDEMIC IT'S BEEN DELAYED, THE GRAMMYS HAVE BEEN DELAYED. 205 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:13,219 WE JUST FOUND OUT WHEN THEY ARE. YOU KNOW WHEN THEY WERE, RIGHT? 206 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,454 >> Jon: APRIL 3. >> Stephen: AND WHERE? 207 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,655 >> Jon: LAS VEGAS. >> Stephen: LAS VEGAS. 208 00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,457 >> Jon: YES. >> Stephen: AND THAT'S YOUR 209 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:22,928 TOWN, RIGHT, JON? I THINK LAS VEGAS, I THINK JON 210 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,130 BATISTE. SIN CITY! 211 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,033 >> Jon: I GO TO LAS VEGAS I'M LIKE A FISH IN WATER. 212 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,969 >> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN WHITE TIGERS 213 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,270 AT HOME. YOU TRAIN ALL THE TIME. 214 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,839 >> Jon: YES. >> Stephen: INSPIRATIONAL FOR 215 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:34,707 YOU. >> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT. 216 00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:37,309 >> Stephen: MY ONLY WORRY-- GO AHEAD. 217 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:45,985 >> Jon: I WAS THE ORIGINAL "TIGER KING," YOU KNOW. 218 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:48,454 >> Stephen: FOLKS, IT'S GOING ON TWO YEARS OF THIS PANDEMIC, 219 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,989 AND I KNOW YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT THIS HAS MEANT FOR 220 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,458 RICH PEOPLE. THE EFFECTS OF COVID ON THE 221 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:53,959 WEALTHY HAVE BEEN EXTREME, IN THAT THEY ARE EVEN MORE 222 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:57,963 EXTREMELY WEALTHY. AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT 223 00:14:58,030 --> 00:14:59,632 IN MY ADMIRAL CLASS SEGMENT: RICH PEOPLE, 224 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,967 THEY'RE JUST NOT LIKE US. US PAY TAXES. 225 00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:05,604 >> GAH! HOW CAN THEY AFFORD PITCHFORKS 226 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:09,642 ON WHAT I PAY THEM? >> Stephen: NOW, I MAKE A FINE 227 00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:15,948 LIVING AS A TV HOST, DON'T GET ME WRONG. 228 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,816 BUT ACCORDING TO NEW RESEARCH, THE WEALTH OF THE WORLD'S 10 229 00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:21,186 RICHEST MEN HAS DOUBLED IN THE PANDEMIC, A GROUP THAT INCLUDES 230 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:24,590 ELON MUSK, JEFF BEZOS, LARRY ELLISON AND MARK ZUCKERBERG 231 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:29,962 WHOSE WEALTH SWELLED FROM A COLLECTIVE $700 BILLION TO 232 00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:37,169 $1.5 TRILLION. THAT'S AN INCONCEIVABLE AMOUNT 233 00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:40,105 OF MONEY. HERE'S ANOTHER WAY TO THINK 234 00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:45,978 ABOUT IT: TO MAKE $1.5 TRILLION, YOU'D HAVE TO BE PAID $1 MILLION 235 00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:49,048 A DAY FOR 1.5 MILLION DAYS. THAT'S OVER 4,000 YEARS. 236 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,917 YOU'D HAVE TO MAKE $1 MILLION A DAY SINCE THEY BUILT THE GREAT 237 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:53,952 PYRAMID. OR AS THESE GUYS CALL IT: THE 238 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,522 POOL HOUSE. ( LAUGHTER ) 239 00:15:56,588 --> 00:16:03,529 CANARIES IN THE DIAMOND MINE. ALL THE RICHIES ARE RICHING IT 240 00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:05,964 UP RICHER. BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE SPENDING 241 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:11,503 THEIR CASH ON PRESSING HUMANITARIAN ISSUES, LIKE DADDY 242 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,005 WANT FANCY CAR." BECAUSE LAST YEAR ALONE, 243 00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:16,709 ROLLS-ROYCE DELIVERED, THE MOST CARS IT HAS EVER SOLD IN ITS 244 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:17,976 117-YEAR HISTORY. WELL, OF COURSE. 245 00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,112 WHO WANTS TO FLEE THE TORCH- WIELDING MOB IN A GETAWAY 246 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:21,980 VEHICLE WHOSE CHAMPAGNE COOLING BAY ISN'T EVEN INLAID WITH 247 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:25,984 MOTHER OF PEARL. SOME OF THE WHIPS THE RICH ARE 248 00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:30,589 BUYING INCLUDE THE $455,000 ROLLS-ROYCE PHANTOM AND THE 249 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:36,395 ROLLS-ROYCE GHOST SEDAN. WHICH, WITH A STARTING PRICE 250 00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:37,963 JUST OVER $300,000, IT'S CONSIDERED TO BE A MORE 251 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:41,033 PRACTICAL AND AFFORDABLE ALTERNATIVE. 252 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,601 BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS "PRACTICAL AND AFFORDABLE" LIKE BUYING THE 253 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,971 SAME CAR AS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND. 254 00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:50,008 ( LAUGHTER ) OUT FOR THE LUXURY CARS OF THE 255 00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:53,979 SEA: SUPER-YACHTS, WHICH ALSO HIT A RECORD. 256 00:16:54,046 --> 00:17:00,452 THE BIGGEST YACHT SOLD LAST YEAR BEING "THE NORD," A 257 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:03,655 464-FOOT-LONG SUPER-YACHT, WHICH COST AROUND $500 MILLION, AND 258 00:17:03,722 --> 00:17:06,091 HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS "A WARSHIP WEARING A TUXEDO." 259 00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:09,962 ( LAUGHTER ) FOR HALF A BILL, I CAN'T HAVE MY 260 00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:12,331 WARSHIP IN BUSINESS CASUAL. ( LAUGHTER ) 261 00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:22,708 CANOE? ACCORDING THE DESIGNER, DAN 262 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,109 LENARD, THE NORD WAS DESIGNED WITH ONE IDEA IN MIND: SHE MUST 263 00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:25,978 CAUSE STRONG EMOTIONS IN EVERY OBSERVER. 264 00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:28,380 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, DANNY. EVERYONE WHO SEES THIS IS FILLED 265 00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:31,316 WITH THE STRONG EMOTION OF "LET'S BUILD A GUILLOTINE." 266 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:41,960 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 267 00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:45,898 RICH, YOU MAY BE ASKING, "STEVE, IS THERE ANY WAY MY PURCHASES 268 00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:48,567 COULD PISS OFF AN ENTIRE CITY ONCE AN HOUR EVERY DAY?" 269 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:53,972 THEY SURE CAN IF YOU ARE THE CARTOONISHLY-NAMED DALLAS 270 00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:57,976 BILLIONAIRE HARLAN CROW, WHO BUILT A 228-FOOT-TALL BELL TOWER 271 00:17:58,043 --> 00:18:00,579 OUTSIDE HIS OFFICE WINDOW. BUT HE'S NOT COMPENSATING FOR 272 00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,849 ANYTHING. ( AS HARLAN CROW ) 273 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:09,955 YOU'LL SEE MY 16-STORY HIGH PENIS-- I MEAN DONG TOWER-- 274 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:13,959 I MEAN BELL PENIS." AND WHEN IT COMES TO-- 275 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:19,665 ( APPLAUSE ) EVERYBODY KNOW HIS TOWER IS 276 00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:21,967 THERE, HARLAN CROW IS LOUD AND PROUD, BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME HE 277 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:25,971 HEARD HIS BELL RING, HE SAID IT WAS TOO QUIET, AND MADE HIS 278 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:29,975 ARCHITECTS UP THE VOLUME TO 105 DECIBELS, ROUGHLY EQUIVALENT TO 279 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:33,145 A CHAIN SAW. BEAUTIFULLY UNDERSTATED. 280 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:36,582 I WANT THE SOUND OF MY PERSONAL BELL TOWER TO BE SOMEWHERE 281 00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:41,987 BETWEEN "PIANO FALLING DOWN A STAIRCASE" AND "BOMB DETONATING 282 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,656 A SHIPPING CONTAINER FULL OF TAMBOURINES." 283 00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:46,492 FINALLY, IF ROLLS-ROYCES AND BELL TOWERS DON'T SCREAM "LET'S 284 00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:49,995 STORM THE BASTILLE" LOUD ENOUGH, THE MOST EXPENSIVE HOME IN 285 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:53,966 AMERICA JUST LISTED FOR $295 MILLION. 286 00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:59,905 IT IS THE 105,000-SQUARE- FOOT MEGA-MANSION KNOWN AS "THE ONE." 287 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:06,011 ( LAUGHTER ) JUST LIKE NEO IN "THE MATRIX." 288 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,479 BUT INSTEAD OF BEING A FREEDOM FIGHTER AGAINST DYSTOPIAN 289 00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:09,448 OVERLORDS, THIS IS THE HOUSE THE OVERLORDS BUY WHEN THEY GET 290 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:12,584 BORED OF THEIR EMOTIONAL NORD TUXEDO YACHT. 291 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:17,789 "THE ONE" FEATURES 21 BEDROOMS AND 42 BATHROOMS; A FULL-SERVICE 292 00:19:17,856 --> 00:19:20,058 SALON EQUIPPED WITH SHAMPOO STATIONS, PEDICURE CHAIRS, AND A 293 00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:22,561 HAIR AND MAKE-UP AREA; A 400-FOOT RUNNING TRACK; AND A 294 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:25,697 MASSIVE MOAT THAT RUNS AROUND THE PROPERTY. 295 00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:27,533 ALWAYS GOOD WHEN YOUR HOME IS PROTECTED BY THE SAME FEATURES 296 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:30,569 AS THE CASTLES IN "GAME OF THRONES." 297 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:34,406 AS I RECALL, EVERYTHING WORKS OUT PRETTY GREAT FOR THOSE GUYS. 298 00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:37,976 ( LAUGHTER ) OH-- 299 00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:45,984 ♪ ♪ ♪ OH, AND FUN FACT: "THE ONE" IS 300 00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:50,923 BUILT ON A LEVELED MOUNTAIN. PLEASE LET IT BE A VOLCANO. 301 00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:53,225 ( LAUGHTER ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 302 00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:54,793 CHRISTINE BARANSKI. ♪ ♪ ♪ 303 00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:24,222 WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY. FOLKS, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A 304 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:27,559 TALENTED ACTRESS WHO'S WON AN EMMY AND TWO TONYS AND NOW STARS 305 00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:30,228 IN THE NEW HBO SERIES, "THE GILDED AGE." 306 00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:34,766 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," THE DELIGHTFUL CHRISTINE 307 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:35,567 BARANSKI. ♪ ♪ ♪ 308 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:50,515 ( APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU! 309 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:58,790 ( APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU! 310 00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:01,460 >> Stephen: WHAT'S-- WHAT'S HAPPENING, HOT STUFF? 311 00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:04,596 NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK. >> IT'S LOVELY TO BE BACK. 312 00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:07,566 GOSH. I JUST WANT TO SAY TO THIS 313 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:11,570 AUDIENCE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OBSERVING THE PROTOCOLS AND 314 00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:16,241 WEARING THE MASK, BUT SHOWING UP AND SUPPORTING THEATER IN NEW 315 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:20,812 YORK. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 316 00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:23,749 >> Stephen: VERY LUCKY. VERY LUCKY TO HAVE AN AUDIENCE 317 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:27,219 LIKE THIS. >> YEAH. 318 00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:29,354 YEAH. >> Stephen: YOU GREW UP IN 319 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,056 BUFFALO, NEW YORK. >> I DID. 320 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:34,026 >> Stephen: AND HOW MUCH-- HOW MUCH-- AFTER ALL THESE YEARS-- 321 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:37,229 BECAUSE YOU KIND OF SCREAM MANHATTAN AT THIS POINT-- HOW 322 00:21:37,295 --> 00:21:39,498 MUCH BUFFALO GIRL IS LEFT IN YOU? 323 00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:41,166 >> YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY THINKS THIS IS, YOU KNOW, THIS 324 00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,635 SOPHISTICATED LADY, THERE NEW YORK TYPE, THIS-- THIS-- THESE 325 00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:47,139 CHARACTERS THAT I PLAY, THEY THINK THAT'S ME. 326 00:21:47,205 --> 00:21:52,711 THEY SHOULD BE IN A ROOM ALONE WITH ME WHEN I WATCH THE BUFFALO 327 00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:54,713 BILLS. ( APPLAUSE ) 328 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,448 >> Stephen: GREAT SEASON. >> LOUD. 329 00:21:56,515 --> 00:22:00,819 IT IS A GREAT SEASON. AND GROWING UP IN BUFFALO, YOU 330 00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:04,523 HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, WE LIVED THROUGH FOUR CONSECUTIVE SUPER 331 00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:10,328 BOWL LOSSES. SO I HAVE A T-SHIRT THAT SAYS, 332 00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:14,700 "BUFFALO: A DRINKING TOWN WITH A FOOTBALL PROBLEM." 333 00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:20,305 ( LAUGHTER ) THEY'RE HAVING A GREAT YEAR, 334 00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:24,976 AND, YOU KNOW, THERE WAS THE WILD CARD GAME LAST SUNDAY. 335 00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:27,446 THEY BEAT NEW ENGLAND. AND... 336 00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:29,147 ( APPLAUSE ). >> I MEAN, THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO 337 00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:32,451 WILL SIT IN THE STANDS FOR HOURS IN SUBZERO TEMPERATURES. 338 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:36,555 SO IF YOU'RE FROM BUFFALO, YOU KNOW YOU ARE A SURVIVOR. 339 00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:40,058 YOU KNOW HOW TO, YOU KNOW, ENDURE. 340 00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:42,928 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: DO YOU REMEMBER 341 00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:45,664 WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO FIRST COME DOWN TO THE CITY? 342 00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:50,836 I CERTAINLY REMEMBER MY FIRST WALKING AROUND BY MYSELF IN NEW 343 00:22:50,902 --> 00:22:55,073 YORK, WHAT THAT FELT LIKE. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT FEELING? 344 00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:58,276 >> WHEN I WAS SEND AT JUILLIARD, I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT BEING IN 345 00:22:58,343 --> 00:23:01,680 NEW YORK, I REMEMBER STAYING WITH MY UNCLE IN LONG ISLAND AND 346 00:23:01,747 --> 00:23:08,720 TAKING A TRAIN IN TO THE CITY. AND I'D GET OFF AT PENN STATION. 347 00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:10,989 PENN STATION, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT GRAND CENTRAL TERMINAL. 348 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,425 >> Stephen: NOT GLAMOUR. >> NOT GLAMOUR. 349 00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:19,731 >> Stephen: NO. >> BUT I WOULD WALK TO JUILLIARD 350 00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:24,336 UP EIGHTH HEAVY, AND I WAS LIKE, "EIGHTH AVENUE! 351 00:23:24,402 --> 00:23:27,339 WOW." >> Stephen: THOSE ARE NEW YORK 352 00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:30,242 HOOKERS! THAT'S A NEW YORK RAT. 353 00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:35,046 >> YEAH, I THOUGHT EVERY ASPECT OF IT WAS INCREDIBLE. 354 00:23:35,113 --> 00:23:37,682 IT WAS GREAT I DIDN'T GET HIT BY A CAR. 355 00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,851 I WAS JUST SO EXCITED ABOUT BEING IN NEW YORK. 356 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,789 AND I HOPE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO COME HERE STILL FEEL THAT WAY. 357 00:23:43,855 --> 00:23:46,191 BECAUSE-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 358 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,492 >> Stephen: GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD. 359 00:23:47,559 --> 00:23:50,462 >> IT'S STILL -- >> Stephen: GREATEST CITY IN 360 00:23:50,529 --> 00:23:52,898 THE WORLD. >> IT'S STILL A PLACE PEOPLE 361 00:23:52,964 --> 00:23:56,501 COME TO TO MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE, WHICH IS WHY YOU HAVE 362 00:23:56,568 --> 00:24:00,071 TO SHOW UP AT THEATERS AND KEEP SUPPORTING THESE-- THESE 363 00:24:00,138 --> 00:24:01,306 ARTISTS. ( APPLAUSE ). 364 00:24:01,373 --> 00:24:04,776 QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND. WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK 365 00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:08,213 CHRISTINE ABOUT WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH STEPHEN 366 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,115 SONDHEIM. STICK AROUND. 367 00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:20,892 ( APPLAUSE ). WE'RE BACK HERE WITH CHRISTINE 368 00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:22,561 BARANSKI. ONE OF THE THINGS YOU AND I HAVE 369 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:26,565 BONDED ON IN THE PAST IS OUR MUTUAL LOVE OF STEPHEN SONDHEIM. 370 00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:32,070 AND WE-- WE HAVE NOT HAD A CHANCE TO TALK SINCE STEVE DIED. 371 00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:36,107 AND I-- I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET TO KNOW HIM A LITTLE BIT, 372 00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:40,111 BUT YOU WERE A FRIEND OF HIS. AND I'M JUST CURIOUS, FOR THOSE 373 00:24:40,178 --> 00:24:43,715 OF US WHO REALLY ONLY KNOW HIM AS THIS GENIUS WHO CHANGED A 374 00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:48,220 FORM, WHAT WAS HE LIKE TO HAVE AS A DEAR FRIEND? 375 00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:53,058 >> AH, WELL, I WAS-- LET ME JUST START BY SAYING HOW FORTUNATE I 376 00:24:53,124 --> 00:24:58,363 WAS TO HAVE WORKED WITH HIM OVER THE YEARS ON MANY DIFFERENT 377 00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:01,867 MUSICALS-- ODDLY ENOUGH, NEVER ON BROADWAY, BUT WORKSHOPS AND 378 00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:03,301 FULL PRODUCTIONING AT KENNEDY CENTER. 379 00:25:03,368 --> 00:25:09,875 SO I KNEW HIM, INDEED, AS STEVE SONDHEIM, THE GENIUS. 380 00:25:09,941 --> 00:25:16,181 BUT I THINK IT WAS AFTER "GOTHE WOODS" MERYL AND I WORKED WITH 381 00:25:16,248 --> 00:25:19,651 HIM ON "INTO THE WOODS." AND MERYL LIVES IN CONNECTICUT 382 00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:21,853 AND I LIVE IN THE TOWN NEXT DOOR TO STEVE. 383 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,857 AND I SAID, "WHY DON'T WE JUST KNOCK ON HIS DOOR AND TAKE HIM 384 00:25:25,924 --> 00:25:30,128 OUT TO DINNER." SO WE DID TAKE HIM OUT SEVERAL 385 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:35,567 TIMES TO AN INN IN CONNECTICUT. AND THE LAST TIME WAS THIS PAST 386 00:25:35,634 --> 00:25:37,402 SUMMER. WE TOOK HIM OUT. 387 00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:42,874 AND FOR YEARS, I HAD WANTED TO TELL HIM ABOUT A DREAM THAT I 388 00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:44,609 HAD. IT'S MY FAVORITE DREAM THAT I'VE 389 00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:48,213 EVER HAD. DO YOU HAVE ACTORS' NIGHTMARES. 390 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,881 >> Stephen: I DO, I DO SOMETIMES, YEAH. 391 00:25:49,948 --> 00:25:55,253 >> WE ALL HAVE THESE NIGHTMARES. JON, DO YOU HAVE MUSICIAN'S 392 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,554 NIGHTMARES? >> Jon: YEAH, SOMETIMES. 393 00:25:56,621 --> 00:26:01,326 .>> IT'S USUALLY FOR ACTORS YOU'RE NAKED ON STAGE AND DON'T 394 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,395 KNOW YOUR LINES -- >> Stephen: OPENING NIGHT, AND 395 00:26:03,461 --> 00:26:06,498 YOU'RE NOT AWARE YOU'VE BEEN CAST IN A PLAY. 396 00:26:06,564 --> 00:26:08,600 >> AN ANXIETY DREAM OF SOME SORT. 397 00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:13,371 I HAD THIS DREAM BACK IN 2006. I WAS DOING A FRENCH FARCE WITH 398 00:26:13,438 --> 00:26:17,142 MARK RYLANCE.. AND WE NEEDED MORE REHEARSALS, 399 00:26:17,208 --> 00:26:20,612 WE NEEDED MORE PREVIEWS AND THEY WEREN'T GOING TO GIVE IT TO US 400 00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:22,847 BECAUSE THEY WERE OPENING FOR THE TONYS. 401 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:25,650 SO IT WAS LIKE OKAY, WE WERE ALL JUST VERY NERVOUS. 402 00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:28,753 AND I HAD THIS ACTOR'S DREAM. AND FOR YEARS I WANTED TO TELL 403 00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:31,089 IT TO STEVE BECAUSE TO ME IT WAS SO SPECIAL. 404 00:26:31,156 --> 00:26:36,628 AND I THOUGHT I CAN'T TELL STEPHEN SONDHEIM MY DREAM. 405 00:26:36,695 --> 00:26:39,331 I DON'T KNOW HIM WELL. WHATEVER. 406 00:26:39,397 --> 00:26:42,968 ANYWAY, AT THIS DINNER, WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE MY FINAL DINNER 407 00:26:43,034 --> 00:26:47,706 WITH STEVE THIS SUMMER, I SAID-- WE WERE AT HIS HOUSE HAVING 408 00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:49,874 DRINKS BEFORE DINNER. AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW, STEVE, 409 00:26:49,941 --> 00:26:52,110 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL YOU THIS." 410 00:26:52,177 --> 00:26:55,714 HE SAID, "NO, NO, GO AHEAD AHEAD, TELL ME." 411 00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:59,517 THE DREAM IS THIS: I'M IN A LARGE, LARGE REHEARSAL HALL. 412 00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:02,754 IT'S ALMOST LIKE A SOUND STAGE. AND THERE ARE THESE HUGE SET 413 00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:06,558 PIECES THAT ARE ALMOST LIKE THE SIZE OF A T. REX. 414 00:27:06,624 --> 00:27:08,259 AND, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND. 415 00:27:08,326 --> 00:27:13,365 BUT I SEE PIERCE BROSNAN, AND I THINK, OH, OKAY, I MUST BE IN A 416 00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:16,634 MUSICAL. ( LAUGHTER ) 417 00:27:16,701 --> 00:27:22,340 >> Stephen: FROM HIS WORK IN "MAMA MIA." 418 00:27:22,407 --> 00:27:24,743 >> YES. SUDDENLY I HEAR A VOICE SAYING, 419 00:27:24,809 --> 00:27:28,613 "PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING. THERE'S A NUCLEAR ATTACK 420 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,049 IMMINENT." I'M LIKE, OH, MY GOD. 421 00:27:31,116 --> 00:27:34,152 I'VE GOT TO GET HEME. I'VE GOT TO GET HOME. 422 00:27:34,219 --> 00:27:37,355 SO I LEAVE THIS REHEARSAL BUILDING, AND I'M RUNNING DOWN 423 00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:41,359 THE STREET. AND I'M LIKE OH, MY GOD, I'VE 424 00:27:41,426 --> 00:27:43,361 FORGOTTEN MY HANDBAG. I CAN'T GET A CAB. 425 00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:46,531 I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT MY HANDBAG. 426 00:27:46,598 --> 00:27:50,068 AND I'LL SOMEHOW GET TO A BANK AND THE BANK WILL GIVE ME MONEY 427 00:27:50,135 --> 00:27:52,704 AND I'LL BE ABLE TO GET HOME SOMEHOW. 428 00:27:52,771 --> 00:27:55,840 ANYWAY, I'M RACING DOWN THE STREET, AND WHO I DO SEE BUT 429 00:27:55,907 --> 00:28:00,445 STEPHEN SONDHEIM. I SAY, "STEVE, CAN YOU BELIEVE 430 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,214 THIS? THIS IS SO SCARY." 431 00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:05,917 I SAID, "I'M GOING TO THE BANK, WHERE ARE YOU GO?" 432 00:28:05,984 --> 00:28:08,253 AND HE SAID, "I'M GOING TO THE BANK AS WELL." 433 00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:10,622 >> Stephen: AND YOU'RE TELLING THIS TO STEPHEN SONDHEIM. 434 00:28:10,688 --> 00:28:14,492 >> I'M TELLING THIS TO STEPHEN SONDHEIM, AND THERE'S AN 435 00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:17,395 IMMINENT NUCLEAR ATTACK, BUT WHILE WE'RE WALKING, I HAVE TO 436 00:28:17,462 --> 00:28:21,299 TELL HIM HOW MUCH I HAVE ADMIRED HIS WORK AND WHAT IT MEANT TO ME 437 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:24,502 TO HAVE BEEN IN SO MANY OF HIS MUSICALS. 438 00:28:24,569 --> 00:28:27,138 WE'RE ABOUT TO BE NUKED. SO WE GET TO THE BANK, WE GET TO 439 00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:32,110 THE BANK, AND I GET IN LINE. "I'VE JUST GOT TO GET HOME 440 00:28:32,177 --> 00:28:33,478 SOMEHOW. THERE'S A NUCLEAR ATTACK." 441 00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:38,216 WHAT DO I SEE BUT STEVE SONDHEIM IS SITTING BEHIND A DESK AT THE 442 00:28:38,283 --> 00:28:40,618 BANK. "I DIDN'T KNOW STEVE SONDHEIM 443 00:28:40,685 --> 00:28:42,654 WAS A BANKER." ( LAUGHTER ) 444 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:47,926 SAYS, "COME HERE." SO HE GETS ME TO THE FRONT OF 445 00:28:47,992 --> 00:28:50,595 LINE. HE SAYS, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT." 446 00:28:50,662 --> 00:28:53,598 I SAID, "STEVE, I DON'T HAVE ANY IDENTIFICATION." 447 00:28:53,665 --> 00:28:55,400 HE SAID, "PLEASE, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 448 00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:58,970 I'LL LOOK UP YOUR ACCOUNT." AND STEVE SONDHEIM IS LOOKING UP 449 00:28:59,037 --> 00:29:01,372 MY ACCOUNT. DON'T YOU LOVE DREAMS. 450 00:29:01,439 --> 00:29:04,576 HE'S LOOKING UP MY ACCOUNT AND HE SAID, "YEAH, YOU HAVE THIS 451 00:29:04,642 --> 00:29:07,645 CHECKING ACCOUNT HERE. BUT, CHRISTINE, THERE'S THIS-- 452 00:29:07,712 --> 00:29:11,182 THERE'S THIS SAVINGS ACCOUNT HERE. 453 00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:15,687 HAVE YOU-- IT'S NEVER BEEN TOUCHED." 454 00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:17,355 I SAID, "WHAT?" HE SAID, "THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF 455 00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:18,823 THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN THIS ACCOUNT. 456 00:29:18,890 --> 00:29:22,827 YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT?" I SAID, "NO. 457 00:29:22,894 --> 00:29:24,629 REALLY?" AND THAT'S WHEN I WAKE UP. 458 00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:29,567 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T GET THE 459 00:29:29,634 --> 00:29:32,470 NUMBER? YOU DIDN'T GET THE ROUTING 460 00:29:32,537 --> 00:29:33,638 NUMBER? SO YOU TELL HIM. 461 00:29:33,705 --> 00:29:38,042 >> I TELL HIM, AND HE LAUGHED, AND HE SAID, "THAT'S YOUR 462 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:40,145 CREATIVE LIFE." HE SAID, "YOU DIDN'T REALIZE 463 00:29:40,211 --> 00:29:44,215 YOUR OWN POTENTIAL AS A PERFORMER AND AS A SINGER. 464 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:46,718 YOU HAD ALL THIS MONEY IN THE BANK." 465 00:29:46,784 --> 00:29:51,756 SO I WAS SO HAPPY TO TELL HIM THAT, BECAUSE WHEN I WORKED WITH 466 00:29:51,823 --> 00:29:55,960 STEVE, I FELT I HAD TO REALLY RISE TO THE OCCASION. 467 00:29:56,027 --> 00:29:59,297 YOU KNOW, HIS WORK DEMANDS SO MUCH, AND IT'S SUCH A PRIVILEGE. 468 00:29:59,364 --> 00:30:02,500 SO I DID. I GOT TO TELL STEVE SONDHEIM MY 469 00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:03,601 DREAM. >> Stephen: AND YOU STILL HAVE 470 00:30:03,668 --> 00:30:06,337 TIME TO CUT THOSE CHECKS. ( LAUGHTER ) 471 00:30:06,404 --> 00:30:11,943 ANOTHER BREAK, BUT WE'LL BE BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE KENNETH3 472 00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,211 BRANAGH, EVERYBODY. ♪ ♪ ♪ 473 00:30:22,987 --> 00:30:25,823 ( APPLAUSE ) WE'RE BACK HERE WITH THE STAR OF 474 00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:27,525 "THE GILDED AGE," CHRISTINE BARANSKI. 475 00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:31,729 YOUR NEW PROJECT IS YOU ARE IN JULIAN FELLOWS, THE GUY WHO 476 00:30:31,796 --> 00:30:36,000 CREATED "DOWNTON ABBEY" ON HBO. IT'S CALLED "THE GILDED AGE." 477 00:30:36,067 --> 00:30:41,139 AND IT'S ABOUT LATE 1880s. >> 1882. 478 00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:44,242 >> Stephen: IN NEW YORK. WHICH IS WHEN-- WE'RE KIND OF IN 479 00:30:44,309 --> 00:30:48,947 ANOTHER GILDED AGE RIGHT NOW. >> I KNOW, I WAS WATCHING YOU 480 00:30:49,013 --> 00:30:52,550 TELL-- SPEAK ABOUT ALL THAT, AND I THOUGHT WE'RE GOING THROUGH 481 00:30:52,617 --> 00:30:54,986 ANOTHER GILDED AGE, UNBRIDLED WEALTH. 482 00:30:55,053 --> 00:30:57,589 BUT THE GILDED AGE WAS JUST AFTER THE CIVIL WAR, AND IT 483 00:30:57,655 --> 00:31:00,024 REALLY WAS THE BEGINNING OF AMERICAN CAPITALISM. 484 00:31:00,091 --> 00:31:01,526 >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE. 485 00:31:01,593 --> 00:31:04,395 CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE WITH YOUR CHARACTER? 486 00:31:04,462 --> 00:31:07,532 >> WELL, MY CHARACTER IS, OF COURSE, OLD MONEY. 487 00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:13,137 ( LAUGHTER ) OLD MONEY WAS "WE GOT HERE 488 00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:15,206 BEFORE YOU DID, SO WE'RE CLOSING THE DOOR ON YOU. 489 00:31:15,273 --> 00:31:17,875 YOU CAN'T-- YOU CAN'T COME TO OUR CLUB." 490 00:31:17,942 --> 00:31:23,615 BUT SHE'S RATHER HORRIFIED BY THE NEW MONEY BECAUSE THERE'S A 491 00:31:23,681 --> 00:31:26,351 HUGE MANSION BEING BUILT DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET. 492 00:31:26,417 --> 00:31:31,589 IT WOULD BE LIKE A TRUMP HOTEL BEING BUILT ACROSS FROM MY BROWN 493 00:31:31,656 --> 00:31:33,725 STONE. I'M ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED. 494 00:31:33,791 --> 00:31:37,262 BUT MY NIECE COMES TO LIVE WITH ME BECAUSE SHE GOT NO MONEY FROM 495 00:31:37,328 --> 00:31:40,198 HER FATHER, AND SHE HAS TO COME TONEW YORK AND LIVE WITH HER 496 00:31:40,265 --> 00:31:45,069 TWO AUNTS, ONE OF WHOM IS MYSELF, AND THE OTHER IS CYNTHIA 497 00:31:45,136 --> 00:31:48,706 NIXON'S CHARACTER, ADA. ANYWAY, I TELL HER ABOUT OLD NEW 498 00:31:48,773 --> 00:31:54,245 YORK, THAT SHE IS IN FACT FROM OLD NEW YORK, AND THAT WE DON'T 499 00:31:54,312 --> 00:31:58,583 ASSOCIATE WITH THE NEW PEOPLE. >> Stephen: JIM. 500 00:31:58,650 --> 00:32:03,655 >> NOW, YOU NEED TO KNOW, WE ONLY RECEIVE THE OLD PEOPLE IN 501 00:32:03,721 --> 00:32:06,457 THIS HOUSE, NOT THE NEW, NEVER THE NEW. 502 00:32:06,524 --> 00:32:08,860 >> WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? >> THE OLD HAVE BEEN IN CHARGE 503 00:32:08,926 --> 00:32:13,364 SINCE BEFORE THE REVOLUTION. THEY RULED, JUSTLY, UNTIL THE 504 00:32:13,431 --> 00:32:16,601 NEW PEOPLE INVADED. >> IT'S NOT QUITE AS SIMPLE AS 505 00:32:16,668 --> 00:32:17,702 THAT. >> YES, IT IS. 506 00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:20,638 >> WELL, I'M NEW. I'VE ONLY JUST ARRIVED. 507 00:32:20,705 --> 00:32:24,008 >> MARION, NEVER MIND THAT THE BROOKS HAVE BEEN IN PENNSYLVANIA 508 00:32:24,075 --> 00:32:27,712 FOR A CENTURY AND A HALF. MY MOTHER, YOUR GRANDMOTHER WAS 509 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:34,786 A LIVINGSTON, LIVINGSTON MANOR, AND THEY CAME TO THE CITY IN 510 00:32:34,852 --> 00:32:36,688 1674. YOU BELONG TO OLD NEW YORK, MY 511 00:32:36,754 --> 00:32:39,157 DEAR, AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT. 512 00:32:39,223 --> 00:32:47,165 YOU ARE MY NIECE, AND YOU BELONG TO OLD NEW YORK. 513 00:32:47,231 --> 00:32:52,770 ( APPLAUSE ). TICKET. 514 00:32:52,837 --> 00:33:01,045 IT IS WORTH THE TICKET JUST FOR THE WARDROBE AND AND THE LOCATI. 515 00:33:01,112 --> 00:33:04,349 >> INDEED. AND NOBODY WRITES A SNOB LIKE 516 00:33:04,415 --> 00:33:07,919 JULIAN FELLOWS. I'VE GOT THE HUGE COSTUMES AND 517 00:33:07,985 --> 00:33:09,821 THE WHITHERRINGLY SNOBBISH LINES. 518 00:33:09,887 --> 00:33:11,622 >> Stephen: ARE THOSE ACCURATE THOSE COSTUMES. 519 00:33:11,689 --> 00:33:13,391 >> OH, YES. >> Stephen: THE CORSETS AND 520 00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:15,460 ALL THAT. >> IT'S COMPLETELY ACCURATE, AD 521 00:33:15,526 --> 00:33:18,963 IT'S GOBS OF FABRIC. IT'S AS THOUGH YOU TOOK YOUR 522 00:33:19,030 --> 00:33:23,434 GRANDMOTHERS FLOOR-TO- CEILING VELVET CURTAINS AND WRAPPED THEM 523 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:25,536 AROUND YOUR BODY AND YOU CARRIED THEM AROUND. 524 00:33:25,603 --> 00:33:30,274 IT'S LIKE REALLY HUGE AMOUNTS OF FABRIC AND BEADING AND WIGS. 525 00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:31,843 >> Stephen: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE? 526 00:33:31,909 --> 00:33:36,314 WHAT IS IT A CORSET LIKE? OBVIOUSLY, I'M WEARING SPANX 527 00:33:36,381 --> 00:33:38,783 RIGHT NOW. ARE YOU DRAWN INTO THESE CORSETS 528 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:40,151 AND EVERYTHING? >> YEAH. 529 00:33:40,218 --> 00:33:43,187 THEY PUT IT ON YOU AND THEY KEEP PULLING AND PULLING AND PULLING, 530 00:33:43,254 --> 00:33:45,957 AND THEY'LL SAY, "IS IT TOO TIGHT?" 531 00:33:46,023 --> 00:33:49,427 AND YOU'LL SAY NO, I THINK IT'S OKAY. 532 00:33:49,494 --> 00:33:51,729 BECAUSE OF COURSE YOU'RE A WOMAN AND YOU WANT YOUR WAIST TO 533 00:33:51,796 --> 00:33:55,333 LOOK-- "NO, NO, KEEP GOING, IT'S FINE." 534 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:59,270 "REALLY, ARE YOU SURE?" "OH, YES, I'LL TELL YOU." 535 00:33:59,337 --> 00:34:02,673 "ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN BREATHE?" "OH, YES, I CAN BREATHE." 536 00:34:02,740 --> 00:34:05,977 YOU GET INTO THIS THING AND YOU SHOW UP ON THE SET AND TWO HOURS 537 00:34:06,043 --> 00:34:10,515 LATER YOU GO, "I CAN'T BREATHE!" BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS. 538 00:34:10,581 --> 00:34:14,519 IT'S-- THOSE WOMEN, THEY ACTUALLY, SOCIETY WAS VERY TIGHT 539 00:34:14,585 --> 00:34:19,657 AND PULLED IN AND S SO WERE THER CLOTHES. 540 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,827 >> Stephen: WHAT IF YOU HAVE TO ANSWER NATURE'S CALL? 541 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:26,164 HOW LONG DOES THAT TAKE? >> THEY DIDN'T FACTOR THAT IN, 542 00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:27,532 YOU KNOW. >> Stephen: BACK THEN THEY 543 00:34:27,598 --> 00:34:29,300 DIDN'T DO IT. THEY WERE ABOVE IT. 544 00:34:29,367 --> 00:34:33,037 >> WE HAD THESE HUGE COVER THEUMES BUT WE WERE ON A SOUND 545 00:34:33,104 --> 00:34:36,741 STAGE THAT DIDN'T HAVE ANY LADIES' OR MEN'S ROOMS. 546 00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:40,845 WE HAD TO GO-- WE HAD TO LEAVE THE SOUND STAGE AND CROSS THE 547 00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:46,684 STREET AND GO TO A PORTA POTTY. NOW, YOU'VE BEEN IN PORT A 548 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,587 POTTIES, RIGHT? THEY'RE ABOUT THIS BIG. 549 00:34:49,654 --> 00:34:53,491 SO YOU'D GONE IN WITH YOUR -- >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A BUSTLE. 550 00:34:53,558 --> 00:34:58,296 >> BUSTLES AND PET COATS. AND YOU HOIST IS UP, AND YOU'RE 551 00:34:58,362 --> 00:35:01,599 IN THIS TINY STALL. AND THEN YOU'D JUST HOPE TO GOD 552 00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:03,801 YOU COULD STRATEGICALLY AIM, AND, YOU KNOW... 553 00:35:03,868 --> 00:35:08,840 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT, YOU KNOW,. 554 00:35:08,906 --> 00:35:11,108 >> Stephen: GOOD LUCK. >> IT'S A CHAMPAGNE PROBLEM. 555 00:35:11,175 --> 00:35:13,511 >> Stephen: YES. CHRISTINE, LOVELY TO YOU HAVE 556 00:35:13,578 --> 00:35:15,346 AGAIN. >> OH, MY GOSH, IT'S A PLEASURE. 557 00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:20,151 >> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 558 00:35:20,218 --> 00:35:21,719 "THE GILDED AGE" PREMIERS JANUARY 24 ON HBO AND HBO MAX. 559 00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:27,158 CHRISTINE BARANSKI, EVERYBODY WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A 560 00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:29,994 PERFORMANCE BY NATION OF LANGUAGE. 561 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:55,853 TELEVISION DEBUT WITH "ACROSS THAT FINE LINE" FROM THEIR 562 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,457 ALBUM, "A WAY FORWARD," NATION OF LANGUAGE. 563 00:35:59,524 --> 00:36:01,058 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 564 00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:11,836 ♪ REACH OUT, CALL MY NAME WHENEVER YOU WANT 565 00:36:11,903 --> 00:36:20,845 ♪ FACED WITH THE FINAL CONVULSION 566 00:36:20,912 --> 00:36:30,054 ♪ CONTORTING MY TONGUE REACH OUT, FALL MY WAY 567 00:36:30,121 --> 00:36:42,066 ♪ EASING AROUND IT'S NOT A WORD THAT'S EXCHANGED 568 00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:50,074 ♪ IT'S SOMETHING ELSE AND I'M WATCHING YOU WALK 569 00:36:50,141 --> 00:37:00,384 ♪ ACROSS THAT FINE LINE I DIED A HUNDRED TIMES 570 00:37:00,451 --> 00:37:06,057 ♪ I RECKON YOU COULD LET IT BLEED 571 00:37:06,123 --> 00:37:18,069 ♪ I'M RESIGNED REACH OUT, CRAWL MY WAY 572 00:37:18,135 --> 00:37:26,844 ♪ ANY TIME "RAPID, INDIRECT FEELINGS" 573 00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:36,988 ♪ I QUALIFY EVERY DAY WE'RE CIRCLING 574 00:37:37,054 --> 00:37:44,795 ♪ NEVER CLOSING IN ON WHAT WE WANT 575 00:37:44,862 --> 00:37:48,499 ♪ BUT CAN YOU FEEL THE QUICKENING 576 00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:56,841 ♪ SEVEN MILLION MOMENTS DOWN TO ONE 577 00:37:56,907 --> 00:38:02,079 ♪ AND I'M WATCHING YOU WALK ACROSS THAT FINE LINE 578 00:38:02,146 --> 00:38:09,186 ♪ I DIED A HUNDRED TIMES I RECKON YOU COULD 579 00:38:09,253 --> 00:38:18,062 ♪ LET IT BLEED I'M RESIGNED 580 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:26,070 ♪ AND I'M WATCHING YOU WALK ACROSS THAT FINE LINE 581 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:32,843 ♪ I DIED A HUNDRED TIMES I RECKON YOU COULD 582 00:38:32,910 --> 00:38:38,849 ♪ LET IT BLEED I'M RESIGNED 583 00:38:38,916 --> 00:38:45,356 ♪ AND I'M WATCHING YOU WALK 584 00:38:45,423 --> 00:38:50,061 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 585 00:38:50,127 --> 00:38:53,864 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 586 00:38:53,931 --> 00:38:56,834 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 587 00:38:56,901 --> 00:39:00,805 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 588 00:39:00,871 --> 00:39:02,373 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 589 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:06,077 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ AND I'M WATCHING YOU WALK 590 00:39:06,143 --> 00:39:14,085 ACROSS THAT FINE LINE ♪ I DIED A HUNDRED TIMES 591 00:39:14,151 --> 00:39:20,825 I RECKON YOU COULD ♪ LET IT BLEED 592 00:39:20,891 --> 00:39:30,067 I'M RESIGNED ♪ AND I'M WATCHING YOU WALK 593 00:39:30,134 --> 00:39:38,075 ACROSS THAT FINE LINE ♪ I DIED A HUNDRED TIMES 594 00:39:38,142 --> 00:39:42,079 I RECKON YOU COULD ♪ LET IT BLEED 595 00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:50,855 I'M RESIGNED ♪ AND I'M WATCHING YOU WALK 596 00:39:50,921 --> 00:39:54,325 ACROSS THAT FINE LINE ♪ ♪ ♪ 597 00:39:54,391 --> 00:39:58,062 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 598 00:39:58,129 --> 00:40:13,010 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 599 00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:17,148 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 600 00:40:17,214 --> 00:40:20,851 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) EVERYBODY. 601 00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:23,120 THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS 602 00:40:23,187 --> 00:40:26,290 WILL BE DIONNE WARWICK AND DAVID CROSS. 603 00:40:26,357 --> 00:40:28,926 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. GOOD NIGHT.