1 00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:06,806 COMBINES OMICRON AND DELTA, THIS ACCORDING TO BLOOMBERG NEWS. 2 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,976 A PROFESSOR AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CYPRESS CALLS THE NEW STRAIN 3 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,479 DELTACRON. >> DOCTORS ARE REPORTING A 4 00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:15,148 DISTURBING NEW TREND. >> PATIENTS WITH COVID WHO ALSO 5 00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:19,319 HAVE THE FLU. THEY'RE CALLING IT FLURONA. 6 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:23,757 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> THREE CELEBRITY COUPLES PACK 7 00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:28,595 ON THE P.D.A. AFTER WEEKS OF SPECULATION, THE 8 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:30,630 DELTA VARIANT AND OMICRON FINALLY GAVE US PROOF THEY'RE AN 9 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,666 ITEM, LOCKING SPIKES IN THE RESTAURANT. 10 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,569 THE PAIR, DUBBED DELTACRON, DIDN'T SHY AWAY FROM PUBLICLY 11 00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:39,572 SWAPPING ANTIGENS BEFORE INFECTING EVERYONE IN THE 12 00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:41,241 RESTAURANT. AND THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY 13 00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:45,211 CELEBRITY CONTAGION COUPLE GOING VIRAL. 14 00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:47,414 PEOPLE ARE BUZZING ABOUT LONGTIME BACHELOR, THE FLU, AND 15 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,915 THE HOTTEST STARLET, CORONAVIRUS, SPOTTED TURNING UP 16 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:54,921 THE HEAT INSIDE AN UNVACCINATED ISRAELI WOMAN. 17 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,824 THE DUO, DUBBED BLURONA, SHOWED LOVE IS IN THE AIR, AND ON DOOR 18 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,492 HANDLES. AND, FINALLY, SAY HELLO TO 19 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,129 BENNIFER 2.0. IT WAS ASSUMED BENNIFER HAD BEEN 20 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:05,698 ERADICATED IN THE EARLY ODDS, BUT THEY'RE BACK WITH A 21 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,500 VENGEANCE. AND PEOPLE IN THE KNOW ARE 22 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,471 CONCERNED THIS LATEST CELEBRITY RECOUPLING COULD LEAD TO A 23 00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,741 SECOND WAVE OF "GIGLI." 24 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,543 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 25 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:23,483 TONIGHT: 26 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:29,322 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: BRADLEY COOPER 27 00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:31,491 AND MUSICAL GUEST ROBERT FINLEY WITH DAN AUERBACH 28 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:35,495 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY 29 00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,566 HUMAN. 30 00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:43,536 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 31 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:48,908 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! ♪ ♪ ♪ 32 00:01:48,975 --> 00:02:03,523 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY! 33 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:07,227 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HELLO! 34 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:13,099 GOOD TO SEE YOU. >> Jon: GREAT TO SEE YOU. 35 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:16,769 >> Stephen: PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT. 36 00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:20,206 PLEASE, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 37 00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:24,911 WELCOME, WELCOME, ONE AND ALL TO "THE LAST SHOW." 38 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,346 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( APPLAUSE ) 39 00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:33,920 ENERGY. LISTEN TO THAT WARMTH. 40 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,488 WIND CHILLS TODAY ARE NEAR ZERO TODAY IN NEW YORK. 41 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:41,561 AND I WANT TO THANK MY AUDIENCE RIGHT HERE WHO BRAVED THE COLD 42 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:42,829 CAME OUT, DID IT,INGS DUG DOWN, FOUND THAT EXTRA GEAR TO BE HERE 43 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,899 TONIGHT, AND CAME INTO THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER, WHERE SOMEHOW 44 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:50,503 IT'S EVEN COLDER. AND HERE'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT 45 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:54,607 IT'S SINCERELY COMFORTING IN A WAY. 46 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:58,077 IT'S JANUARY 11th. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY COLD. 47 00:02:58,144 --> 00:03:01,748 THAT MAKES SENSE TO ME. AND IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT 48 00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:03,082 DOES. LOOK AT COVID. 49 00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:06,019 REMEMBER, WE JUST NEEDED TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY FOR THREE TO SIX 50 00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:10,123 WEEKS, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. AND THEN IT'LL BE OVER? 51 00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:13,927 THAT'S GOIN' ON TWO YEARS AGO. THEN WE THOUGHT WE WERE OVER IT 52 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:17,497 AFTER THE GIANT PEAK LAST WINTER, PLUS WE HAD THE VACCINE. 53 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:21,267 IS IT THEN DELTA CAME AROUND, THE END OF SUMMER AND THE FALL. 54 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:24,170 THAT WAS TERRIBLE. BUT THEN WE'D BE GOOD BY THE 55 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:25,905 HOLIDAYS, AND THEN OMICRON CAME A-KNOCKIN.' 56 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:29,576 AND NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. 57 00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:31,911 BECAUSE THE UNITED STATES REPORTED 1.5 MILLION NEW 58 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:33,846 INFECTIONS YESTERDAY. THAT'S TERRIBLE, BUT KIND OF 59 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:34,914 SWEET THAT WE ALL GAVE EACH OTHER THE SAME THING FOR 60 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,550 CHRISTMAS. ( LAUGHTER ) 61 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:41,654 STAGGERING NUMBER. BUT EVERYBODY IS SAYING IF 62 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,957 YOU'RE VACCINATED, OMICRON IS VERY MILD. 63 00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:49,462 WELL, OKAY, BUT IF THAT'S THE CASE, THEN WHY DO WE HAVE A 64 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:54,534 RECORD-BREAKING 145,000 COVID HOSPITALIZATIONS, WITH EXPERTS 65 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:59,672 PREDICTING A PEAK IN THE 300,000 RANGE? 66 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:00,940 SOON, THERE'S GOING TO BE ALMOST AS MANY PEOPLE IN HOSPITALS AS 67 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,508 THERE ARE TV SHOWS ABOUT HOSPITALS. 68 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:09,582 ( LAUGHTER ) WALENSKY EXPLAINED THAT THE 69 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,785 NUMBERS AREN'T AS BAD THEY MAY SEEM, BECAUSE AT SOME HOSPITALS, 70 00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,487 UP TO 40% OF THE PATIENTS WHO ARE COMING IN WITH COVID -19 ARE 71 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:19,225 COMING IN NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE SICK WITH COVID, BUT THEY'RE 72 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:22,528 COMING IN WITH SOMETHING ELSE AND HAVE HAD THE OMICRON VARIANT 73 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,965 DETECTED. OKAY, SURE, BUT EVEN IF PEOPLE 74 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:30,470 AREN'T COMING IN FOR COVID INITIALLY, THE HOSPITALS ARE 75 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:31,838 STILL OVERFLOWING. THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "UH, 76 00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:34,540 TECHNICALLY, UP TO 40% OF PEOPLE WHO DROWNED ON THE "TITANIC" 77 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,010 WERE ALREADY WET BECAUSE THEY WERE IN THE BATHTUB WHEN THE 78 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,344 SHIP WENT DOWN. ( LAUGHTER ) 79 00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:44,817 NOT SO BAD. ( LAUGHTER ) 80 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:49,922 THIS PANDEMIC WE ALL ARE? CHECK OUT THIS HEADLINE THAT CNN 81 00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:54,827 THOUGHT WE ALL NEEDED TO HEAR: "FIVE REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT 82 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:58,564 DELIBERATELY CATCH OMICRON TO 'GET IT OVER WITH.'" 83 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,968 WELL, OBVIOUSLY, YOU SHOULDN'T DELIBERATELY CATCH OMICRON. 84 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:06,539 AND SHOULD I? ( LAUGHTER ) 85 00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:11,044 HOSTS ARE DOING IT. I'M STARTING TO THINK THEY HAD A 86 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,046 SECRET SLEEPOVER, AND I WASN'T INVITED. 87 00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:18,551 ( LAUGHTER ). NOW, IT SEEMS RIDICULOUS TO 88 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:22,555 PURPOSELY CATCH COVID, BUT ACCORDING TO ONE DOCTOR, THE 89 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:27,593 IDEA OF INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO CATCH OMICRON IS ALL THE RAGE. 90 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,428 YES, GETTING OMICRON IS SUPER POPULAR. 91 00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:30,530 I HEAR IT'S DATING PETE DAVIDSON. 92 00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:41,007 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT-- HE'S GOT-- HE'S GOT THAT 93 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,276 B.D.E.-- THE BIG DELTA ENERGY. THAT'S WHAT I HEAR! 94 00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:46,779 THAT'S WHAT I HEAR! IT'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING! 95 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:52,985 IT'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING. I HAVE TO GET A NECK TATTOO. 96 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,988 BUT AS APPEALING AS THE NOTION OF INTENTIONALLY MAKING YOURSELF 97 00:05:56,055 --> 00:06:01,994 SICK MAY BE, CNN HAS SOME PRETTY GOOD REASONS TO AVOID GETTING 98 00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,830 THE COVID, INCLUDING: YOU COULD GET LONG COVID, 99 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:06,532 YOU'LL STRESS THE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM, AND DON'T MESS WITH 100 00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:10,002 MOTHER NATURE, ADDING, "SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO KILL US EVER 101 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:13,973 SINCE WE CRAWLED OUT OF THE OCEAN ONTO THE LAND." 102 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,009 DAMN YOU, MAMA NATURE! DAMN YOU TO HELL! 103 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,979 ( APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW WHAT? 104 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:24,050 I WAS, FOR YEARS NOW, I HAVE BEEN AGAINST GLOBAL WARMING, BUT 105 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,919 NOW IT'S JUST PAYBACK TIME. I'M GOING BACK TO PLASTIC 106 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:31,991 STRAWS. COME-- COME HERE, YOU DAMN 107 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,894 TURTLE! COME HERE! 108 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,997 THERE IS NO ACTUAL TURTLE HERE, BY THE WAY. 109 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,066 NOW, THERE IS SOME HELP ON THE HORIZON. 110 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,202 THE WHITE HOUSE JUST ANNOUNCED THAT INSURERS WILL HAVE TO COVER 111 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:46,539 EIGHT AT-HOME VIRUS TESTS PER MONTH. 112 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:51,144 EIGHT PER MONTH-- SO, ONE FOR EVERY NEW VARIANT. 113 00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:54,847 ( LAUGHTER ) TESTS YOURSELF, WHICH MAY NOT BE 114 00:06:54,914 --> 00:07:03,122 EASY, BECAUSE WITH SKYROCKETING DEMAND, RAPID ANTIGEN TESTS ARE 115 00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:06,526 HARD TO FIND. AND EVEN WHEN YOU DO FIND THEM, 116 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:14,133 YOU MUST FIRST BATTLE THE SELF-CHECKOUT MACHINE AT CVS: 117 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,768 "NO, NO, YOU'RE AN UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA! 118 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:18,938 YOU ARE! WHAT? 119 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,173 WHAT? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 120 00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:24,510 OF COURSE I WANT A BAG! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, CARRY 121 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:30,516 THIS TUBE OF CREST TO MY CAR CLUTCHED IN MY BUTTCHEEKS?" 122 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:35,121 ( LAUGHTER ) THAT COVID HAS MUTATED INTO A 123 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:39,192 POLITICAL ISSUE. AND TODAY, THINGS GOT UGLY ON 124 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:45,464 CAPITOL HILL, WHERE DR. ANTHONY FAUCI WAS TESTIFYING IN FRONT OF 125 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:48,134 HIS OLD NEMESIS: KENTUCKY SENATOR RAND PAUL, SEEN 126 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:52,605 HERE-- ( AUDIENCE BOOING ) 127 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:57,977 SEEN HERE SPORTING HIS SIGNATURE HAIRSTYLE: FETTUCCINI AL-HEAD-O. 128 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,513 DURING-- MMM-MMM. DURING A HEARING ABOUT THE 129 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:06,786 FEDERAL RESPONSE TO OMICRON, SENATOR PAUL ACCUSED DR. FAUCI 130 00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:11,591 OF ATTACKING OTHER SCIENTISTS WHO OPPOSED COVID LOCKDOWNS, AND 131 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,960 THE GOOD DOCTOR HAD HAD ABOUT ENOUGH. 132 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:16,062 >> DO YOU REALLY THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE TO USE YOUR $420,000 133 00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:23,102 SALARY TO ATTACK SCIENTISTS THAT DISAGREE WITH YOU? 134 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:27,073 >> SENATOR, THE E-MAIL YOU'RE REFERRING TO WAS AN EMAIL OF 135 00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:29,775 DR. COLLINS TO ME. IF YOU LOOK AT THE E-MAIL-- 136 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:30,943 >> THAT YOU RESPONDED TO AND HURRIED UP AND SAID, "I CAN DO 137 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,879 IT. I CAN DO IT. 138 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:39,886 WE GOT SOMETHING IN 'WIRED' MAGAZINE"-- 139 00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,487 >> NO, NO, NO. I THINK IN USUAL FASHION, 140 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,257 SENATOR, YOU ARE DISTORTING EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. 141 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:51,664 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) COME ON! 142 00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:52,665 TAKE OFF THE GLOVES AND THE MASK OFF. 143 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:58,938 ( AS DR. FAUCI ) AND I REGRET TO INFORM YOU, 144 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,774 YOU'VE CONTRACTED MY BOOT IN YOUR ASS. 145 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:07,346 ( APPLAUSE ) HE WENT ON TO TELL THE COMMITTEE 146 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:11,117 THE DANGEROUS CONSEQUENCES OF A SITTING SENATOR SPREADING LIES 147 00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:15,087 ABOUT HIM. >> WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE GETS OUT 148 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:18,524 AND ACCUSES ME OF THINGS THAT ARE COMPLETELY UNTRUE IS THAT 149 00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:23,362 ALL OF A SUDDEN, THAT KINDLES THE CRAZIES OUT THERE, AND I 150 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:30,536 HAVE LIFE-- THREATS UPON MY LIFE, HARASSMENTS OF MY FAMILY 151 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,772 WITH OBSCENE PHONE CALLS BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE LYING ABOUT ME. 152 00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,407 >> Stephen: THAT'S JUST TERRIBLE. 153 00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:37,009 DR. FAUCI SHOULD NOT BE GETTING OBSCENE PHONE CALLS FROM VIOLENT 154 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,880 CRAZIES. HE SHOULD BE GETTING THEM FROM 155 00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:43,849 LONELY SINGLES WHO SAW HIS "INSTYLE" MAGAZINE COVER. 156 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:50,222 "HELLO, DOCTOR. DO THOSE NOVELTY SOCKS GO ALL 157 00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:51,457 THE WAY UP?" BUT DR. FAUCI USED THE 158 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:58,197 SCIENTIFIC METHOD TO FIGURE OUT JUST WHAT PAUL WAS UP TO. 159 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:06,238 >> SO I ASK MYSELF, WHY WOULD THE SENATOR WANT TO DO THIS? 160 00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:09,041 SO GO TO RAND PAUL WEBSITE, AND YOU SEE "FIRE DR. FAUCI" WITH A 161 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:12,511 LITTLE BOX THAT SAYS "CONTRIBUTE HERE," AND YOU CAN DO $5, $10, 162 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:16,449 $20, $100. SO YOU ARE MAKING A CATASTROPHIC 163 00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:20,953 EPIDEMIC FOR YOUR POLITICAL GAIN. 164 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:27,293 ( APPLAUSE ) ACCUSATION. 165 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,861 IN RESPONSE, RAND PAUL SENT OUT AN EMAIL: 166 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,096 "DR. FAUCI TRIED TO SMEAR ME BY SAYING I'M PROFITING FROM THE 167 00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:33,799 PANDEMIC. PROVE HIM WRONG BY DONATING $10, 168 00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,234 $20 OR $100 TODAY." ( APPLAUSE ) 169 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:45,778 IF THERE'S ONE THING MORE CONTAGIOUS THAN COVID, IT'S 170 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:51,450 STUPID, BECAUSE RAND PAUL WAS JOINED IN HIS DUMB-DUMB ATTACKS 171 00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:52,651 ON FAUCI BY KANSAS SENATOR AND MAN WHO BOUGHT HIS VENEERS BY 172 00:10:52,718 --> 00:11:03,029 THE FOOT, ROGER MARSHALL. SENATOR MARSHALL ASKED FAUCI 173 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,163 ABOUT FAUCHI'S FINANCIAL DISCLOSURE, WHICH IS PUBLIC, 174 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,464 BECAUSE THAT'S HOW FINANCIAL DISCLOSURES WORK. 175 00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:09,835 AND FAUCI LET IT BE KNOWN IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS IT'S NOT HIS 176 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:11,237 FAULT IF THE SENATOR DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO GOOGLE. 177 00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:13,572 AND THEN AT THE END, THE GOOD DOCTOR LET HIS REAL FEELINGS BE 178 00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:16,308 KNOWN ON A HOT MIC. >> MY FINANCIAL DISCLOSURES ARE 179 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,979 PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE AND HAVE BEEN SO. 180 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:23,215 YOU ARE GETTING AMAZINGLY WRONG INFORMATION. 181 00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:26,752 >> SO I CANNOT FIND THEM. OUR OFFICE CANNOT FIND THEM. 182 00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,621 WHERE WOULD THEY BE IF THEY'RE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE? 183 00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:29,822 WHERE? >> SENATOR MARSHALL, DR. FAUCI 184 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:33,859 HAS ANSWERED YOU. IT IS PUBLIC INFORMATION, AND 185 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,227 HE'S HAPPY TO GIVE IT TO YOU IF YOU WOULD ASK. 186 00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:41,233 SENATOR MORAN? 187 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:56,182 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LIVES FOREVER ON THE INTERNET, 188 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:58,684 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LIVES FOREVER ON THE INTERNET, 189 00:11:58,751 --> 00:11:59,819 THE ONE PLACE WHERE SENATOR MARSHALL AND HIS STAFF WILL 190 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:06,792 NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND IT. ( LAUGHTER ) 191 00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:10,429 FROM THE WORLD OF MEDICINE, BECAUSE ON FRIDAY, IN A MEDICAL 192 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:15,835 FIRST, A MAN WITH TERMINAL HEART DISEASE GOT A TRANSPLANT OF 193 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:19,105 GENETICALLY MODIFIED PIG HEART. GREAT NEWS FOR THAT PATIENT. 194 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,774 NOW NOT ONLY DOES HE GET A NEW HEART, BUT EATING BACON IS NOW 195 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,209 ACTUALLY GOOD FOR IT. THE PATIENT IS RECOVERING 196 00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:25,044 NICELY, AND HIS NEW HEART IS FUNCTIONING AND ALREADY DOING 197 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:28,481 MOT OF THE WORK. ( AS DOCTOR ) 198 00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:31,183 PATIENT IS DOING WELL. THE ONLY DOWNSIDE... 199 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,819 I'M AFRAID YOUR FATHER IS NO LONGER KOSHER." 200 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:40,793 ( LAUGHTER ) SCIENTIFIC UNDERTAKING. 201 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,963 FOR STARTERS, TO SUPPRESS THE IMMUNE SYSTEM AND PREVENT 202 00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:46,365 REJECTION, DOCTORS MADE 10 GENETIC MODIFICATIONS ON THE PIG 203 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,767 HEART. AMAZING. 204 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:51,370 BUT YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU MESS WITH PIG D.N. A. 205 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:55,508 WE ALL LEARNED THAT FROM THE MOVIE, "JURASSIC PORK." 206 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:58,110 ( LAUGHTER ) THE POND IN THE U.K. 207 00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:01,747 THEY'LL SOON BE CELEBRATING QUEEN ELIZABETH'S PLATINUM 208 00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:05,217 JUBILEE, AND BRITAIN IS PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS TO MARK THE 209 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:09,321 QUEEN'S 70 YEARS ON THE BRITISH THRONE, WITH POMP, PUDDING AND 210 00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,557 PARTIES. THERE'S EVEN A VERY-POPULAR PLAN 211 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,926 TO LAUNCH PRINCE ANDREW INTO THE SUN. 212 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:19,899 ( LAUGHTER ) NOW-- HE DOESN'T SWEAT. 213 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:23,169 NOW, THIS IS A BIG DEAL, BECAUSE NO BRITISH MONARCH HAS EVER 214 00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:25,738 SPENT 70 YEARS ON THE THRONE BEFORE. 215 00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:31,477 THE CLOSEST ANY BRITISH ROYAL HAS COME IS QUEEN VICTORIA, WHO 216 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,179 RULED FOR 63 YEARS, WHICH EXPLAINS THE NEW ROYAL 217 00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:37,816 COMMEMORATIVE CHINA: "SUCK IT, VICKI." 218 00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:44,823 ( LAUGHTER ) FESTIVITIES WILL CULMINATE WITH 219 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:51,864 A FOUR-DAY-LONG PUBLIC HOLIDAY STARTING ON JUNE 2. 220 00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,098 IN FACT, "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE HAS ALREADY RELEASED THEIR 221 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,233 COMMEMORATIVE, "THE QUEEN WILL DEFINITELY LIVE UNTIL JUNE" 222 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,236 ISSUE. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 223 00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:58,370 TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS BRADLEY COOPER. 224 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:01,073 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE." 225 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,208 JOIN US, WON'T YOU? ♪ ♪ ♪ 226 00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:43,249 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK! 227 00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:48,554 PLEASE, PLEASE SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, 228 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:49,421 EVERYBODY. THERE YOU GO. 229 00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:53,058 >> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! 230 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,026 HEY! THERE IT IS! 231 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:57,429 THERE IT IS? >> Stephen: JON, YOU KNOW I AM 232 00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:59,031 GRATEFUL TO EVERYBODY WHO COMES ON THIS SHOW. 233 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:04,236 I LOVE ALL MY GUESTS EQUALLY. BUT OUR GUEST TONIGHT, BRADLEY 234 00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:06,772 COOPER, IS AN EXTRAORDINARY ARTIST. 235 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:12,077 I THINK I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE-- IT ALMOST MAKES ME ANGRY HOW 236 00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,379 MULTITALENTED HE IS. >> Jon: OH, YEAH. 237 00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:17,783 >> Stephen: LAST TIME HE WAS ON HERE FOR "A STAR IS BORN" 238 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,918 WHICH HE ALSO DIRECTED. EXTRAORDINARY. 239 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:25,891 HE'S ON TONIGHT FOR A FILM BY GUILLERMO DEL TORO, A DIRECTOR I 240 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:29,795 ABSOLUTELY LOVE. IT'S "NIGHTMARE ALLEY." 241 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:33,365 AND I WATCHED IT LAST NIGHT ( WHISTLES ) 242 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,568 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. THE FIRST 15 MINUTES, I'M LIKE, 243 00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:39,004 "I WONDER WHAT THIS IS GOING TO BE?" 244 00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:43,242 >> Jon: WHAT GENRE IS IT. >> Stephen: NOIR. 245 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,544 A MUCH-ABUSED STYLE IN MY OPINION. 246 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:50,482 AND IT'S NOIR, AND CARNIVAL. I THOUGHT I WONDER WHAT THIS IS 247 00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:54,787 GOING TO BE? A HALF HOUR IN, I WAS LIKE MY 248 00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,189 GOD. THIS IS FANTASTIC. 249 00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:01,860 YOU HAVE CATE BLANCHETT, BRADLEY COOPER, WILLEM DAFOE IN THERE. 250 00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,395 IT'S EXTRAORDINARY. >> Jon: WHAT'S THE PLOT? 251 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,397 CAN YOU GIVE IT AWAY? >> Stephen: I CANNOT. 252 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,933 ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: I CAN'T. 253 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,234 I-- HE COULD. >> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT. 254 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,503 >> Stephen: BUT LEGALLY I'M NOT ALLOWED TO. 255 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:15,307 BUT I-- I WATCHED THE WHOLE FILM, AND I-- OF COURSE I WATCH 256 00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:19,545 EVERY FILM OF EVERYONE WHO EVER COMES ON THE SHOW. 257 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:22,314 AND I READ EVERY BOOK, AND I WATCH EVERY TELEVISION SHOW. 258 00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,749 >> Jon: RIGHT. YEAH, OF COURSE. 259 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,085 >> Stephen: IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS SPECIAL THAT I WATCHED THE 260 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,353 FILM. I DO THAT ALWAYS. 261 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:29,254 >> Jon: RIGHT, OF COURSE. >> Stephen: TO EVERY-- I JUST 262 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,123 WATCHED THIS ONE MORE. ( LAUGHTER ). 263 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:39,665 >> Stephen: TWICE, YEAH. FOLKS, Y'KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF 264 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:46,105 TIME ON THE SHOW-- IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW YOU FIGURED THIS OUT, 265 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,573 RIGHT OVER THERE, SPELUNKING THROUGH THE DAY'S STORIES TO 266 00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:48,974 SELECT AND SOURCE THE NEWSIEST MARBLE, CHISELING IT INTO A 267 00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,109 PEDESTAL OF HUMOR AS WIDE AS TWO GREEK ISLES. 268 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,978 THEN I CAST THE MOST TOPICAL CURRENT-EVENTS-BRONZE INTO A 269 00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:58,584 FINELY CRAFTED MOULD TO ERECT FOR YOU THE TOWERING GRECIAN 270 00:16:58,650 --> 00:16:59,818 COLOSSUS THAT IS MY NIGHTLY MONOLOGUE. 271 00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:02,721 BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES, FOLKS, I JOLT AWAKE INSIDE 272 00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:04,590 WHAT'S LEFT OF A RUSTED MAZDA MIATA IN A WHITE CLAW AND 273 00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:07,593 OVEN-CLEANER-INDUCED FUGUE STATE, SHAMBLE THROUGH THE 274 00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:11,029 JUNKYARD, RANSACKING THE DEBRIS FOR OLD FISHING RODS, MELTED 275 00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:14,800 BATTERIES AND THE SHOVEL OF A DERELICT BACKHOE, THEN BOOST AN 276 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:15,968 ACETYLENE TORCH TO HASTILY WELD TOGETHER THE BOOTLEG 277 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:19,538 TRUCK-ASAURUS OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: 278 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:24,710 >> MEANWHILE! ( APPLAUSE ) 279 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:31,550 ANTISEPTIC. IT'S AN ANTISEPTIC. 280 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:32,851 MEANWHILE, A NEW STUDY SAYS YOU CAN FIGHT MIDLIFE CRISIS AND 281 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:37,623 FIND SPIRITUAL MEANING WITH SKATEBOARDING-- BECAUSE NOTHING 282 00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:40,959 PUTS A PEP IN A MIDDLE-AGED STEP LIKE A SHATTERED CLAVICLE. 283 00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:44,930 ( LAUGHTER ) COME ACROSS SUCH IMPORTANT 284 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:48,700 OCEAN-BASED NEWS THAT IT REQUIRES ITS OWN UNDERWATER 285 00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:56,442 SUB-SEGMENT, WHICH WE CALL MARINE-WHILE! 286 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:58,911 MARINE-WHILE, RESEARCHERS SAY THAT FEMALE DOLPHINS HAVE A 287 00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:00,879 CLITORIS MUCH LIKE HUMANS'. THIS IS SUCH A GROUNDBREAKING 288 00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:05,017 REPORT, THAT IT CAN ONLY BE COVERED IN MY 289 00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:11,523 GENITALS-OF-OCEANLIFE SUB-SUBSEGMENT 290 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:21,867 MARINE-WHILE VAGINE-WHILE. ( APPLAUSE ) 291 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,970 DISSECTING SEVERAL DOLPHIN SPECIMENS, RESEARCHERS 292 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,839 IDENTIFIED AN UNMISTAKABLE CLITORIS THE SIZE OF AN AA 293 00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:29,107 BATTERY AND THE COLOR OF SPAM. THAT ANSWERS A LOT OF QUESTIONS 294 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:36,782 ABOUT DOLPHIN ANATOMY, BUT RAISES QUITE A FEW MORE 295 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,051 QUESTIONS ABOUT SPAM. ( LAUGHTER ) 296 00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:44,456 THERE. MEANWHILE, SCIENTISTS HAVE FOUND 297 00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:48,961 THAT SOME PEOPLE LOVE GAZING AT THEMSELVES IN VIDEO MEETINGS. 298 00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,462 OH, PLEASE. PEOPLE, FOCUS! 299 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,798 IT'S WORK. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE 300 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:53,866 THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF ALL DAY. I MEAN, HOW... 301 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,701 NARCISSISTIC... CAN... 302 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:59,371 PEOPLE... BE? 303 00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:00,105 IS ( LAUGHTER ) 304 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:08,580 IS. >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT 305 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,048 BACK WITH BRADLEY COOPER. ♪ ♪ ♪ 306 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:39,745 WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW." HAPPY TO HAVE YOU. 307 00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:43,515 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN AWARD -WINNING 308 00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:45,817 WRITER, DIRECTOR, AND ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM, "SILVER LININGS 309 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:50,289 PLAYBOOK," "AMERICAN SNIPER," AND "A STAR IS BORN." 310 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,457 YOU CAN CURRENTLY SEE HIM IN "LICORICE PIZZA" AND "NIGHTMARE 311 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:53,559 ALLEY." PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE 312 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:57,596 SHOW," BRADLEY COOPER. ♪ ♪ ♪ 313 00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:12,544 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 314 00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:17,616 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 315 00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:32,564 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 316 00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:33,432 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 317 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:38,971 THE SAME THING! >> OUT OF THE HOUSE! 318 00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:40,539 >> Stephen: BRADLEY COOPER, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING 319 00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,207 HERE. SIR, SIR, HAVE YOU BEEN IN FRONT 320 00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:45,611 OF A LIVE AUDIENCE? >> NO, CAN YOU TELL HOW EXCITED 321 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,646 I AM? >> Stephen: IT'S DIFFERENT, 322 00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:49,147 ISN'T IT? IT'S REALLY NICE. 323 00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:53,619 >> HELLO! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 324 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,988 IT'S AMAZING. >> Stephen: IT'S LOVELY. 325 00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:59,057 >> COME ON! >> Stephen: NICE TO-- NICE TO 326 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:02,294 SEE YOU AGAIN. HAD A REALLY NICE TIME TALKING 327 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,096 ABOUT YOU ABOUT "A STAR IS BORN." 328 00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:06,932 I'M A MASSIVE FAN AS YOU KNOW. BUT I WANT TO GET TO "NIGHTMARE 329 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:09,101 ALLEY" AND "LICORICE PIZZA." YOU'RE A BUSY MAN-- 330 00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:14,439 >> HOW OUT OF BREATH ARE WE? >> Stephen: ALARMINGLY. 331 00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:18,644 HOW WERE YOUR HOLIDAYS? I KNOW-- I KNOW YOU HAVE A YOUNG 332 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:19,611 CHILD. YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER. 333 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:23,115 >> WHO IS HERE. >> Stephen: SHE'S HERE NOW? 334 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:25,183 >> Stephen: BACK STAGE. >> Stephen: OLD ENOUGH FOR 335 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,385 CHRISTMAS? >> OH, YEAH. 336 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:29,354 >> Stephen: OLD ENOUGH FOR CHRISTMAS BUT YOUNG ENOUGH IT'S 337 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,590 LIKE EVERYTHING. >> WE DO THIS THING BABY TO 338 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:35,260 BABY, WHERE YOU CAN BE SANTA'S HELPER, AND YOU CAN FIND FOUR 339 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:38,563 KIDS OR THREE KID AND MAKE PRESENTS AND HELP SANTA DELIVER 340 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:39,765 THEM. I'M GOING TO BE OUT OF BREATH 341 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:42,401 THE WHOLE INTERVIEW. PEOPLE WILL COME IN HALFWAY 342 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,202 THROUGH LIKE, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS GUY?" 343 00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:48,373 >> Stephen: VERY FEW GUESTS NEED SUPPLEMENTAL OXYGEN TO GET 344 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,941 THROUGH. IT'S LIKE WE'RE MOUNTING K2 345 00:21:50,008 --> 00:21:51,209 RIGHT NOW. THAT'S REALLY LOVELY. 346 00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:53,879 SO YOU GUYS PUT TOGETHER TOYS TO GIVE TO OTHER CHILDREN. 347 00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:55,614 >> OTHER CHILDREN, YES. >> Stephen: THAT'S LOVELY. 348 00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:59,851 >> AND, ALSO, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE KIDS, THEY REALLY-- 349 00:21:59,918 --> 00:22:02,921 THEY REALLY PUSH THAT GHOST BUSTERS LASER ON EVERY 350 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,190 COMMERCIAL IN BETWEEN CARTOONS, SO SHE WANTED THAT. 351 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:09,394 >> Stephen: THE BACKPACK, THE THING WHERE YOU CAPTURE THE 352 00:22:09,461 --> 00:22:10,295 GOFTZ. SHE GOT THAT? 353 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:12,464 >> SHE GOT THAT. >> Stephen: NICE, NICE. 354 00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:16,568 >> SHE'S LIKE WHERE'S THE LASER. IT'S A PLASTIC THING. 355 00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:20,939 I HAVE SOME NOTE. SHE WANTED THE REAL THING. 356 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,709 >> Stephen: I THOUGHT YOU WERE A BIG STAR, DAD. 357 00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:27,412 >> COULDN'T DELIVER. >> Stephen: COULDN'T EVEN GET 358 00:22:27,479 --> 00:22:31,216 ME PAUL RUDD. AS I WAS SAYING TO JON IN THE 359 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:33,385 LAST ACT, I WATCHED "NIGHTMARE ALLEY" LAST NIGHT. 360 00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:36,221 >> THANK YOU FOR WATCHING THAT. >> Stephen: AND IT IS-- I 361 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,589 WATCH EVERY MOVIE. >> OF COURSE YOU DO. 362 00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:39,658 >> Stephen: I WATCH EVERY MOVIE. 363 00:22:39,725 --> 00:22:43,161 IT'S AN ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT FILM. 364 00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:50,769 AND IT'S THIS PERFECTLY EXECUTED NOIRWHICH, AS I WAS SAYING TO 365 00:22:50,836 --> 00:22:53,605 JON, IS KIND OF AN ABUSED FORM THESE DAYS. 366 00:22:53,672 --> 00:22:56,508 I THINK IT'S THE GREATEST MODERN NOIR FILM. 367 00:22:56,575 --> 00:23:00,045 AND I'M JUST CURIOUS, THIS IS THE-- I UNDERSTAND YOU SIGNED UP 368 00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:04,516 FOR THIS RIGHT OUT OF "A STAR IS BORN." 369 00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:07,819 >> UH, KIND OF. ACTUALLY, I WAS GOING TO DO 370 00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,522 ANOTHER MOVIE THAT I'VE BEEN WRITING FOR, LIKE, FOUR YEARS. 371 00:23:10,589 --> 00:23:16,561 BUT THEN-- BUT THEN-- AND I KNEW GUILLERMO WAS GOING TO MAKE THE 372 00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:21,600 MOVIE AND I WAS A HUGE FAN OF HIS FROM "SHAPE OF WATER," AND 373 00:23:21,666 --> 00:23:25,203 OTHERS. AND I KNEW LEONARDO DICAPRIO WHO 374 00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:28,807 IS A FRIEND OF MINE AND I ADMIRE TREMENDOUSLY, AND HE DROPPED 375 00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:31,977 OUT. MY FRIEND AND AGENT DAVE SAID, 376 00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:33,645 "GUILLERMO WANTS TO MEET WITH YOU." 377 00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:36,982 AND I WAS LIKE, "REALLY?" HONESTLY, MAYBE THIS SOUNDS 378 00:23:37,048 --> 00:23:40,819 CRAZY, BUT JUST THE FACT THAT I WAS THE SECRETARY IN LINE, LIKE, 379 00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:42,988 AFTER LEO HE WAS GOING TO GO TO ME. 380 00:23:43,054 --> 00:23:44,689 I WAS LIKE, "I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT." 381 00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:50,262 THE CAST WAS ALREADY ASSEMBLED. HE ALREADY HAD CATE BLANCHETT 382 00:23:50,328 --> 00:23:52,631 AND WILLEM DAFOE. AND I WAS LIKE OF COURSE I'M 383 00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:54,232 GOING TO DO IT. >> Stephen: LET'S TALK A 384 00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:59,404 LITTLE MORE ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER WHO IS STANTON CARLISLE. 385 00:23:59,471 --> 00:24:01,206 HE'S SOMETHING OF A DRIFTER. >> YES. 386 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:04,643 >> Stephen: BUT CLEARLY A FIERCELY INTELLIGENT PERSON. 387 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,945 >> YES. >> Stephen: YOU KNOW, A VERY 388 00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:09,848 QUICK STUDY, SHALL WE SAY. FACILE. 389 00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:11,349 >> A SURVIVOR. >> Stephen: YES. 390 00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:17,389 NOW, I'M CURIOUS, EVERYBODY IN THE MOVIE, TO A CERTAIN EXTENT 391 00:24:17,455 --> 00:24:19,191 IS A CARNY. A LOT OF THE CHARACTERS ARE. 392 00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:23,395 AND A LOT OF THEM ARE GRIFTERS OF SOME KIND OR ANOTHER. 393 00:24:23,461 --> 00:24:26,698 >> RIGHT, YEAH. >> Stephen: AND I'M CURIOUS, 394 00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:30,602 AS AN ACTOR, IN WHAT WAYS DO YOU RELATE TO THAT? 395 00:24:30,669 --> 00:24:34,439 OR WHAT WAYS DO YOU-- MAYBE ANOTHER WAY TO PUT IT IS HOW DO 396 00:24:34,506 --> 00:24:37,475 YOU AVOID BEING THAT AS AN ACTOR? 397 00:24:37,542 --> 00:24:41,446 BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THE NOMEN-- >> HOW ABOUT AS A PERSON. 398 00:24:41,513 --> 00:24:44,883 >> Stephen: WELL, OKAY, OKAY, SURE, AS A PERSON. 399 00:24:44,950 --> 00:24:47,786 HOW DO YOU AVOID DOING THAT? >> BEING UTTERLY MANIPULATIVE 400 00:24:47,853 --> 00:24:49,221 ALL THE TIME. >> Stephen: TO GET WHAT YOU 401 00:24:49,287 --> 00:24:50,288 WANT-- >> RIGHT. 402 00:24:50,355 --> 00:24:52,290 >> Stephen: BY PRESENTING ONE FACE-- 403 00:24:52,357 --> 00:24:53,225 >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> Stephen: THAT YOU THINK 404 00:24:53,291 --> 00:24:55,560 PEOPLE WANT TO SEE. >> YES. 405 00:24:55,627 --> 00:25:01,099 AND THEREIN LIES WHY THIS ROLE ACTUALLY WAS VERY HARD IN THE 406 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:02,801 END. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THE OLDER YOU 407 00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:05,971 GET, THE OLDER I GET, I JUST WANT TO DO-- REALLY DON'T ACT. 408 00:25:06,037 --> 00:25:10,609 DO AS MUCH PREPARATION AS I CAN, AND WE HAD SIX MONTHS TO 409 00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:14,880 PREPARE, WHICH WAS WONDERFUL. AND GUILLERMO AND I WE WORKED ON 410 00:25:14,946 --> 00:25:19,851 THE SCRIPT WITH CATE AND ROONEY AND CAME UP WITH WHAT'S THE 411 00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:21,486 STORY. AND WE GOT THERE AND IT FELT 412 00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:24,623 LIKE WE INVOKED STANTON CARLISLE. 413 00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:28,426 THE VOICE ALONE. WE WORKED ON THE VOICE. 414 00:25:28,493 --> 00:25:32,497 TIM MONACO WHO I HAVE WORKED WITH, DERIN BROWN, I GOT TO WORK 415 00:25:32,564 --> 00:25:35,500 WITH HIM. AND REALLY HONED EVERYTHING. 416 00:25:35,567 --> 00:25:39,871 SO THIS GUY KIND OF EXISTED. AND GUILLERMO AND I KIND OF 417 00:25:39,938 --> 00:25:43,208 WATCHED WHAT STANTONT WAS GOING TO DO EVERY DAY. 418 00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:47,879 >> Stephen: STANTON CARLISLE STARTS OUT AS A MIDWAY 419 00:25:47,946 --> 00:25:50,181 MENTALIST. >> HE STARTS OUT AS A GRIFTER 420 00:25:50,248 --> 00:25:59,124 AND LEARNS ABOUT MENTALISM FROM DAVID STRAHHAN'S CHARACTER, AND 421 00:25:59,190 --> 00:26:01,593 YOU USE THEM AND STRIVE OFF OF THOSE SKILLS. 422 00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:05,163 ALL HE DOES IS MANIPULATE. AND IT DEFINITELY DID KIND OF 423 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:06,898 MESS ME UP A LITTLE BIT. IT WAS DARK. 424 00:26:06,965 --> 00:26:09,100 IT WAS A DARK FILM. >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK YOU 425 00:26:09,167 --> 00:26:12,337 COULD DO THAT WITH YOUR OWN STUDY OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR? 426 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:16,474 BECAUSE SO MUCH OF IT IS TRYING TO PERCEIVE IN SOMEONE ELSE THE 427 00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:19,811 NEED THAT THEY WON'T NAME PUBLICLY, AND THEN GIVING THEM 428 00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:21,546 THE THING THAT THEY WISH THEY COULD ASK FOR. 429 00:26:21,613 --> 00:26:25,183 >> YES. I MEAN, CATE'S CHARACTER SAYS, 430 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:28,987 "WHAT DO I WANT?" AND HE SAYS, "WHAT EVERYBODY 431 00:26:29,054 --> 00:26:31,556 WANTS-- TO BE FOUND OUT." AND YOU HIT THEM WHERE IT 432 00:26:31,623 --> 00:26:36,161 COUNTS-- HEALTH, WEALTH, LOVE. FIND OUT WHAT THEY'RE AFRAID OF 433 00:26:36,227 --> 00:26:38,863 AND SELL IT BACK TO THEM AS LONG AS YOU DON'T OVERSELL IT. 434 00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:40,332 >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE. 435 00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:43,301 DO YOU WANT TO SET IT UP? IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO 436 00:26:43,368 --> 00:26:45,503 SAY BEFORE WE SEE THIS NEXT CLIP? 437 00:26:45,570 --> 00:26:49,240 IT'S A-- IT'S A VERY INTERESTING MOMENT IN THIS FILM. 438 00:26:49,307 --> 00:26:53,611 >> WELL, THIS CLIP THAT WE'RE GOING TO WATCH WAS-- WE WERE 439 00:26:53,678 --> 00:26:57,148 TERRIFIED OF THIS SCENE, ALL OF US, GUILLERMO AND MYSELF, 440 00:26:57,215 --> 00:26:58,350 REALLY. IT'S AN IMPORTANT SCENE, AND 441 00:26:58,416 --> 00:27:01,820 IT'S A SCENE THAT A LOT OF THE MOVIE IS LEADING TOWARDS. 442 00:27:01,886 --> 00:27:05,123 SO WE ACTUALLY HAD A ROAMING SET THAT WE COULD TAKE WITH US EVERY 443 00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:08,360 DAY IN CASE WE DIDN'T GET IT. BECAUSE WE WERE BOTH KIND OF 444 00:27:08,426 --> 00:27:10,495 TERRIFIED THAT IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN. 445 00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:12,263 ISN'T THAT NUTS? >> Stephen: SO, LIKE, WE 446 00:27:12,330 --> 00:27:14,466 DIDN'T GET IT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN TOMORROW AND IT WOULD 447 00:27:14,532 --> 00:27:16,067 ALWAYS BE READY TO GO? >> YES. 448 00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:20,038 IT WOULD ALWAYS BE READY. IT TAKES PLACE IN THE TRAILER, 449 00:27:20,105 --> 00:27:22,707 WE SHOOT TIM BLAKE NELSON AND WE WOULD HAVE THE FOOT ANNUAL JUST 450 00:27:22,774 --> 00:27:24,709 IN CASE. WE ALSO CAME UP WITH ANOTHER 451 00:27:24,776 --> 00:27:26,878 SCENE THAT COULD HAVE COME AFTER, THAT UP ON THE OF FEAR OF 452 00:27:26,945 --> 00:27:29,247 IS THIS GOING TO HAPPEN? ON THE DAY, THE TAKE YOU'RE 453 00:27:29,314 --> 00:27:32,650 GOING TO SEE IS ONE TAKE, FIRST TAKE, IT ALL JUST HAPPENED. 454 00:27:32,717 --> 00:27:35,720 AND IT WAS KIND OF A MAGICAL MOMENT. 455 00:27:35,787 --> 00:27:41,593 >> Stephen: JIM? >> IT AIN'T MUCH, BUT IT'S A 456 00:27:41,659 --> 00:27:46,331 JOB, RIGHT? >> OF COURSE, IT'S ONLY 457 00:27:46,398 --> 00:27:55,840 TEMPORARY. JUST UNTIL WE GET A REAL GEEK. 458 00:27:55,907 --> 00:28:03,048 .YOU KNOW WHAT A GEEK IS? >> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? 459 00:28:03,114 --> 00:28:17,996 YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT? 460 00:28:18,063 --> 00:28:27,305 YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT? 461 00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:42,253 >> I WAS BORN FOR IT. ( APPLAUSE ) 462 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,190 >> I WAS BORN FOR IT. ( APPLAUSE ) 463 00:28:45,256 --> 00:28:49,194 SAID. THERE'S NOTHING TO BE SAID, 464 00:28:49,260 --> 00:28:54,099 UNFORTUNATELY, RIGHT NOW. A STRANGELY SATISFYING MOMENT, 465 00:28:54,165 --> 00:28:59,771 OR A STRANGELY-- IT'S A STRANGE CONSUMMATION OF A LOT OF OTHER 466 00:28:59,838 --> 00:29:01,573 EVENTS THAT MOMENT RIGHT THERE. >> 100%. 467 00:29:01,639 --> 00:29:03,074 >> Stephen: ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DRINK THE WHEN I HAVE BEENY. 468 00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:04,375 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: ESPECIALLY WHEN 469 00:29:04,442 --> 00:29:06,411 YOU TAKE THAT SECOND SHOT. >> OH, MAN. 470 00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:10,582 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 471 00:29:10,648 --> 00:29:14,552 I WILL ASK BRADLEY COOPER ABOUT HIS OTHER NEW MOVIE, "LICORICE 472 00:29:14,619 --> 00:29:15,820 PIZZA," AND THE ODD CONNECTION HE HAS TO THE CHARACTER HE 473 00:29:15,887 --> 00:29:16,788 PLAYS. STICK AROUND. 474 00:29:24,395 --> 00:29:26,764 WE'RE BACK HERE WITH BRADLEY COOPER. 475 00:29:26,831 --> 00:29:30,001 YOU HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY DURING COVID DOING MOVIES. 476 00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:33,338 DID YOU SHOOT THIS DURING COVID? >> WE SHOT IT AND STOPPED. 477 00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:36,307 WE SHOT THE SECOND HALF OF THE MOVIE FIRST, WHICH IS KIND OF 478 00:29:36,374 --> 00:29:39,477 INSANE. WHEN WE SHUT DOWN FOR COVID FOR 479 00:29:39,544 --> 00:29:43,047 SIX MONTHS, MARCH, APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY, AUGUST, CAME BACK 480 00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:46,484 THE END OF SEPTEMBER, AND IN THAT TIME, WE GOT TO EDIT THAT 481 00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:48,319 PART. THE MOVIE ACTUALLY HAS TWO 482 00:29:48,386 --> 00:29:49,821 SECTIONS. THERE'S A CARNIVAL, AND FAST 483 00:29:49,888 --> 00:29:54,392 FORWARD TWO YEARS LATER. SO IT REALLY INFORMED US OF WHAT 484 00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:57,162 WE COULD THEN MINE IN THE FIRST HALF OF THE MOVIE THAT WOULD PAY 485 00:29:57,228 --> 00:29:59,931 OFF IN THE SECOND AND IT WAS INVALUABLE. 486 00:29:59,998 --> 00:30:02,967 I WAS TIEBL LOSE WEIGHT SO THAT HE'S VERY-- YOU KNOW, HE'S 487 00:30:03,034 --> 00:30:06,304 LIVING OFF THE LAND. HE'S GOT NOTHING IN THE FIRST, 488 00:30:06,371 --> 00:30:09,073 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE'S IN BUFFALO AND LIVING IN A 489 00:30:09,140 --> 00:30:11,342 WONDERFUL HOTEL AND EATING ROOM SERVICE EVERY DAY. 490 00:30:11,409 --> 00:30:14,913 SO HE'S A LITTLE MORE PLUMP. AND SO WE WERE ABLE TO DO THAT, 491 00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:17,882 WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DO. 492 00:30:17,949 --> 00:30:22,153 >> Stephen: WHAT A LUXURY TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT, TO MAKE THAT 493 00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:23,421 PLAN. >> AND PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON 494 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:26,224 CALLED ME, AND HE'S A HERO, I WAS GOING TO GIVE UP ACTING. 495 00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:29,894 "PUNCH DRUNK LOVE" WAS RELEASED, I THINK IN 2007. 496 00:30:29,961 --> 00:30:33,064 I WENT TO THE LANDMARK IN L .A. AND WATCHED THE 12:30 P .M. AND I 497 00:30:33,131 --> 00:30:35,767 THOUGHT I CAN NEVER GIVE UP. I DON'T WANT TO BE SOMEWHERE 498 00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:39,771 ELSE WHEN THIS MOVIE IS OUT AND THINK I DIDN'T TRY. 499 00:30:39,837 --> 00:30:42,240 HE ASKED ME TO DO A SMALL ROLE IN THE FILM. 500 00:30:42,307 --> 00:30:45,276 AND I SHOT THAT DURING "NIGHTMARE ALLEY." 501 00:30:45,343 --> 00:30:46,611 >> Stephen: AND THAT'S "LICORICE PIZZA." 502 00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:51,149 >> THAT'S "LICORICE PIZZA," YES. >> Stephen: YOU PLAY A PART 503 00:30:51,216 --> 00:30:55,687 BASED ON THE REAL LIFE OF LEGENDARY PRODUCER JOHN PETERS. 504 00:30:55,753 --> 00:30:58,823 HERE HE IS THREATENING TO BURN SOMEONE WITH GASOLINE. 505 00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:02,894 >> IT'S THE GAS CRISIS IN THE 70s IN THE VALLEY, AND HIS 506 00:31:02,961 --> 00:31:06,297 FERRARI HAS RUN OUT OF GAS ON HIS WAY TO PICK UP BARBRA 507 00:31:06,364 --> 00:31:09,500 STREISAND TO GO TO THE MOVIES. HE WAS GOING OUT WITH BARBRA 508 00:31:09,567 --> 00:31:12,670 STREISAND. HE WAS A HAIR DRESSER AND BECAME 509 00:31:12,737 --> 00:31:14,973 AN INFAMOUS PRODUCER IN HOLLYWOOD AND PRODUCED "A STAR 510 00:31:15,039 --> 00:31:17,208 IS BORN," IRONICALLY ENOUGH. >> Stephen: WAS HE A FUN GUY 511 00:31:17,275 --> 00:31:18,409 TO PLAY? >> YEAH 512 00:31:18,476 --> 00:31:20,011 ( LAUGHS ). >> Stephen: YOU MUST KNOW HIM. 513 00:31:20,078 --> 00:31:24,349 >> YEAH, I GOT TO-- WELL, I HAD TO-- I MEAN, THE TRUTH IS, IF IT 514 00:31:24,415 --> 00:31:28,219 WASN'T FOR JOHN PETERS, I NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE "A 515 00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:32,991 STAR IS BORN," BECAUSE HE DEFERD HIS GRANDFATHERED FEE HE COULD 516 00:31:33,057 --> 00:31:35,260 GET. WE MADE IT ON A RELATIVE SHOE 517 00:31:35,326 --> 00:31:38,863 STRING, THAT MOVIE. IF HE DIDN'T DEFER, I WOULDN'T 518 00:31:38,930 --> 00:31:41,532 HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE THE MOVIE. 519 00:31:41,599 --> 00:31:44,869 >> Stephen: NOT THE-- HAVE YOU SEEN HIM SINCE YOU PLAYED THAT. 520 00:31:44,936 --> 00:31:47,905 >> I HAVE NO IDEA, NO. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE 521 00:31:47,972 --> 00:31:50,241 ANOTHER BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK 522 00:31:50,308 --> 00:31:56,481 BRADLEY ABOUT HOW HE GOT HIS NEW DIRECTING GIG, MAESTRO, ABOUT 523 00:31:56,547 --> 00:31:57,348 LEONARD BERNSTEIN. 524 00:32:04,188 --> 00:32:05,823 WE'RE BACK HERE WITH BRADLEY COOPER. 525 00:32:05,890 --> 00:32:10,261 YOU KNOW WHAT A BIG FAN I AM OF "A STAR IS BORN," AS I SAID 526 00:32:10,328 --> 00:32:12,830 BEFORE. AND I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE 527 00:32:12,897 --> 00:32:13,965 STARTING-- ( APPLAUSE ). 528 00:32:14,032 --> 00:32:15,900 >> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TO START DIRECTING YOUR SECOND 529 00:32:15,967 --> 00:32:17,101 FILM. >> YEAH. 530 00:32:17,168 --> 00:32:20,004 >> Stephen: OKAY, AND THIS IS BASED ON LEONARD BERNSTEIN, 531 00:32:20,071 --> 00:32:21,372 CALLED "MAESTRO." >> YES. 532 00:32:21,439 --> 00:32:24,575 >> Stephen: HOW DID THIS COME ABOUT? 533 00:32:24,642 --> 00:32:27,779 >> YOU KNOW, IT'S A WEIRD THING. I'VE BEEN SO LUCKY. 534 00:32:27,845 --> 00:32:30,748 I ALWAYS THOUGHT MAYBE I COULD PLAY A ROCK STAR MUSICIAN, AND I 535 00:32:30,815 --> 00:32:33,618 GOT TO DO "A STAR IS BORN." WHEN I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD, I 536 00:32:33,685 --> 00:32:36,821 ASKED SANTA CLAUS FOR A BATON, BECAUSE I WAS OBSESSED WITH 537 00:32:36,888 --> 00:32:38,890 CONDUCTING CLASSICAL MUSIC. >> Stephen: WHY DOES AN 538 00:32:38,956 --> 00:32:41,025 EIGHT-- DID YOU PLAY A CLASSICAL INSTRUMENT? 539 00:32:41,092 --> 00:32:43,361 >> I PLAYED THE BASS WHICH, WOW, YEAH. 540 00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:45,063 BY THE WAY. ( APPLAUSE ) 541 00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:48,700 WOW. >> Stephen: DID YOU WANT TO 542 00:32:48,766 --> 00:32:49,467 CONDUCT? >> YES. 543 00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:51,536 OH, YES. I WAS OBSESSED WITH IT. 544 00:32:51,602 --> 00:32:54,472 I SPENT HUNDREDS OF HOURS-- I'M NOT KIDDING. 545 00:32:54,539 --> 00:32:58,509 LIKE, I REALLY-- YOU PUT YOUR 10,000 HOURS IN FOR SOMETHING 546 00:32:58,576 --> 00:33:00,645 YOU NEVER DO. I DID IT FOR CONDUCTING. 547 00:33:00,712 --> 00:33:02,580 >> Stephen: JUST PRETEND CONDUCTING. 548 00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:05,983 >> I DON'T KNOW, I JUST-- THERE WAS SOMETHING. 549 00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:09,253 REMEMBER BUGS BUNNY AND TOM & JERRY. 550 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:13,891 >> Stephen: EXACTLY. >> AND THAT WAS ALSO THE-- 551 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:16,461 REMEMBER MY BABY, THE CAT DOES THAT IN THE CARTOON? 552 00:33:16,527 --> 00:33:20,765 ANYWAY. I WAS A BIG TOM & JERRY FAN. 553 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:23,634 AND SO STEPHEN SPIELBERG KNEW THAT. 554 00:33:23,701 --> 00:33:26,170 HE HAPPENED TO KNOW THAT I HAD THIS OBSESSION WITH CONDUCTING, 555 00:33:26,237 --> 00:33:29,941 LIKE IN GRAD SCHOOL I CREATED-- YOU KNOW YOU DO A THING-- I DID 556 00:33:30,007 --> 00:33:34,579 LIKE AN M.F.A., AND YOU CREATE A CHARACTER AND I CREATED A 557 00:33:34,645 --> 00:33:37,615 CONDUCTOR AND WROTE A MONOLOGUE SO IT WAS SOMETHING ALWAYS 558 00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:40,818 INSIDE OF ME. I SAID THERE'S A PROJECT CALLED 559 00:33:40,885 --> 00:33:42,520 "MAESTRO" THAT HE MIGHT DIRECT. >> Stephen: HE MIGHT DIRECT. 560 00:33:42,587 --> 00:33:45,656 >> AT THAT TIME. AND YOU WOULD READ IT TO MAYBE 561 00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:48,426 PLAY THE GUY. I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 562 00:33:48,493 --> 00:33:50,495 LEONARD BERNSTEIN. I SAID I JUST WROTE AND DIRECTED 563 00:33:50,561 --> 00:33:52,196 THIS MOVIE AND THAT'S REALLY ALL I WANT TO DO. 564 00:33:52,263 --> 00:33:54,332 ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO DIRECT THIS? 565 00:33:54,399 --> 00:33:56,401 AND HE SAID I'M PROBABLY NOT GOING TO. 566 00:33:56,467 --> 00:34:01,506 AND I SAID, "CAN I SHOW YOU 'A STAR IS BORN'? 567 00:34:01,572 --> 00:34:03,174 I'M JUST IN THE MIDDLE OF COLORING IT. 568 00:34:03,241 --> 00:34:06,244 IF YOU LIKE IT, CAN I RESEARCH LEONARD BERNSTEIN AND FIGURE OUT 569 00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:09,280 WHAT THE STORY CAN BE? HE CAME TO-- LIKE, I'LL NEVER 570 00:34:09,347 --> 00:34:11,649 FORGET THIS, STEPHEN. HE CAME, AND WE'RE SITTING 571 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:14,318 THERE, AND I'M SHOWING HIM "A STAR IS BORN." 572 00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:17,855 AND HE'S ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE, THE FRONT ROW, A 573 00:34:17,922 --> 00:34:21,092 PRETTY HUGE SCREEN. AND IT'S THE SCENE WHERE JACKSON 574 00:34:21,159 --> 00:34:24,462 CALLS ALLEY UP ON THE STAGE. THE WHOLE THING. 575 00:34:24,529 --> 00:34:27,098 THE BIGGEST SCENE IN THE MOVIE. AND I'M SITTING THERE, AND RIGHT 576 00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:30,835 AS SHE, LIKE, JUST IS GOING ON TO THE STAGE, HE GETS UP. 577 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:34,105 AND I THOUGHT OH, HE'S GOING TO THE BATHROOM NOW? 578 00:34:34,172 --> 00:34:35,440 THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER. 579 00:34:35,506 --> 00:34:38,509 IF HE'S GOING TO THE BATHROOM AT THIS POINT IN THE MOVIE WHERE 580 00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:41,145 IT'S ALL LITERALLY LIKE-- THERE'S, LIKE, A DRUM BEAT THAT 581 00:34:41,212 --> 00:34:45,249 STARTS WHEN SHE QUITS HER JOB, ALL THE WAY-- AND HE GETS UP, HE 582 00:34:45,316 --> 00:34:46,984 WALKS OVER, AND I'M PUTTING MY HEAD DOWN. 583 00:34:47,051 --> 00:34:50,755 AND I PUT MY HEAD DOWN, AND THE NEXT THING I FEEL HIS FACE AND 584 00:34:50,822 --> 00:34:54,692 HE SAID-- BECAUSE IT'S LOUD BECAUSE OF THE GUITAR. 585 00:34:54,759 --> 00:35:00,531 AND HE SAID, "YOU'RE ( BLEEP ) DIRECTING 'MAESTRO'," AND HE SAT 586 00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:02,099 BACK DOWN. AND IT WAS AMAZING. 587 00:35:02,166 --> 00:35:04,535 IT WAS AMAZING. >> Stephen: AN AMAZING MOMENT. 588 00:35:04,602 --> 00:35:08,806 >> IT WAS AMAZING. ( APPLAUSE ). 589 00:35:08,873 --> 00:35:12,310 WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU HERE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING 590 00:35:12,376 --> 00:35:13,711 HERE. >> THANK YOU. 591 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:16,914 >> Stephen: "NIGHTMARE ALLEY" AND "LICORICE PIZZA" ARE IN 592 00:35:16,981 --> 00:35:18,816 THEATERS NOW. BRADLEY COOPER, EVERYBODY. 593 00:35:18,883 --> 00:35:22,019 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY ROBERT FINLEY 594 00:35:22,086 --> 00:35:23,554 WITH DAN AUERBACH. 595 00:35:43,374 --> 00:35:45,776 EVERYBODY. PERFORMING, 596 00:35:45,843 --> 00:35:49,547 "MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT," FROM HIS ALBUM, "SHARECROPPER'S SON," 597 00:35:49,614 --> 00:35:50,448 WITH DAN AUERBACH, ROBERT FINLEY ♪ ♪ ♪ 598 00:35:50,515 --> 00:35:53,684 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 599 00:35:53,751 --> 00:36:06,430 ♪ ♪ ♪ I HOPE THIS WOMAN 600 00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:07,632 ♪ THAT I'M CALLIN' HAS GOT A BED 601 00:36:07,698 --> 00:36:14,705 ♪ THAT I CAN FALL IN 'CAUSE IT'S GONNA BE A COLD 602 00:36:14,772 --> 00:36:19,377 ♪ A COLD AND LONELY NIGHT THE ONE I HAD 603 00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:32,290 ♪ JUST UP AND LEFT ME SO I GOTTA GO AND CATCH ME 604 00:36:32,356 --> 00:36:38,229 ♪ I GOTTA FIND SOMEBODY TO MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT 605 00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:43,501 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT 606 00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:48,573 ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) 607 00:36:48,639 --> 00:36:56,013 ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) 608 00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:07,625 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ GIRL, I KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY 609 00:37:07,692 --> 00:37:12,597 THE ONLY ONE ♪ THAT'S FEELIN' LONELY 610 00:37:12,663 --> 00:37:15,399 SO, YOU TAKE MY HAND ♪ AND TELL ME 611 00:37:15,466 --> 00:37:18,703 I CAN HOLD YOU TIGHT ♪ ♪ ♪ 612 00:37:18,769 --> 00:37:26,243 ♪ I'M NOT ASKIN' YOU TO LOVE ME SURE DON'T WANT YOU TO JUDGE ME 613 00:37:26,310 --> 00:37:31,882 ♪ AND DON'T TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS 614 00:37:31,949 --> 00:37:35,653 ♪ AND I SURE WON'T TELL YOU MINE ♪ ♪ ♪ 615 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:38,289 ♪ JUST MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) 616 00:37:38,356 --> 00:37:45,463 ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) 617 00:37:45,529 --> 00:37:56,273 ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 618 00:37:56,340 --> 00:38:11,222 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 619 00:38:11,288 --> 00:38:12,590 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 620 00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:14,291 ♪ ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 621 00:38:14,358 --> 00:38:22,733 ♪ ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 622 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,535 ♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) 623 00:38:24,602 --> 00:38:33,477 ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) 624 00:38:33,544 --> 00:38:39,350 ♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) 625 00:38:39,417 --> 00:38:48,559 ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) 626 00:38:48,626 --> 00:38:56,400 ( MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 627 00:38:56,467 --> 00:39:02,540 ♪ ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 628 00:39:02,606 --> 00:39:04,542 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 629 00:39:04,608 --> 00:39:08,245 ♪ ALRIGHT ♪ ♪ ♪ 630 00:39:08,312 --> 00:39:16,554 ♪ ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 631 00:39:16,620 --> 00:39:22,760 ♪ ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 632 00:39:22,827 --> 00:39:30,868 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 633 00:39:30,935 --> 00:39:45,816 ALRIGHT ♪ 634 00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:46,984 ALRIGHT ♪ 635 00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:48,619 >> Stephen: ROBERT FINLEY WITH DAN AUERBACH, EVERYBODY 636 00:39:48,686 --> 00:39:50,121 GOODNIGHT THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW. 637 00:39:50,187 --> 00:39:52,590 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE CAITRÍONA BALFE. 638 00:39:52,656 --> 00:40:00,331 GOODNIGHT. 639 00:40:00,397 --> 00:40:07,037 ( APPLAUSE ) ANGELO WITH HER ARMS SPREAD 640 00:40:07,104 --> 00:40:11,609 INSIDE THE BIRD SILHOUETTE. I BELIEVE IT'S IN HONOR OF HER 641 00:40:11,675 --> 00:40:15,346 POEM "FLY LIKE AN EAGLE TO THE SEA." 642 00:40:15,412 --> 00:40:18,382 "FLY LIKE AN EAGLE, LET ME SPIRIT CARRY ME. 643 00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:21,519 FLY LIKE AN EAGLE, TILL I'M FREE. 644 00:40:21,585 --> 00:40:27,291 OH, THERE'S A SOLUTION ♪ TIME KEEPS ON TICKING, TICKING, 645 00:40:27,358 --> 00:40:28,359 TICK, INTO-- I'M BEING TOLD THAT'S THE STEVE MILLER BAND. 646 00:40:28,425 --> 00:40:29,360 WHERE'S THEIR QUARTER?