>> THEY MAY BE TINY, BUT GOLDFISH ARE NOW LEARNING TO
DRIVE. YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT.
A TEAM OF SCIENTISTS IN ISRAEL HAVE BUILT THIS FISH -OPERATED
VEHICLE. >> HE LIVES HIS LIFE EIGHT
SECONDS AT A TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S ALL HE CAN
REMEMBER. BUT FOR THOSE EIGHT SECONDS,
HE'S FREE. ( SQUEAKING )
FURIOUS." >> LET'S GO FOR A RIDE.
>> ONE FISH, TWO FISH, GOLD FISH, GONE FISH.
( TIRES SQUEALING ) HEARTS OF THOSE WE LEAVE BEHIND
IS NOT TO DIE. ( TOILET FLUSHING )
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: COUP YEAR'S EVE.
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR
AND MUSICAL GUEST SAINt JHN
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT.
>> Jon: VEGAS, COME ON. >> Stephen: VEGAS, BABY.
HELLO, LEWIS. HELLO, JOE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME,s ONE AND ALL.
WELCOME, MY FRIENDS, "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. AND I AM SO GLAD YOU COULD BE
WITH US TONIGHT. ( APPLAUSE )
I NEED A LITTLE BIT OF THE WARMTH, OF BEING WITH THE GOOD
PEOPLE HERE TODAY. TOMORROW IS THE ONE-YEAR
ANNIVERSARY OF THE JANUARY 6th INSURRECTION, THAT HORRIBLE DAY
WHEN MILLIONS OF AMERICANS STARED AT THE TV IN SHOCK AND
GRIEF AND SAID, "AH, CRAP. IS THAT UNCLE DAVE?"
( LAUGHTER ) INVESTIGATING THE ATTACK HAS SET
ITS SIGHTS ON A NEW TARGET: FOX NEWS HOST AND PROOF THAT THE
IRISH WEREN'T MEANT TO LIVE PAST 60, SEAN HANNITY.
LAST NIGHT, THE COMMITTEE SENT A LETTER ASKING HANNITY TO TALK TO
THEM ABOUT SOME BOMBSHELL TEXT MESSAGES THAT INDICATE THAT
HANNITY HAD "ADVANCE KNOWLEDGE REGARDING THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S
PLANNING FOR JANUARY 6th." AND I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE
FOOTAGE OF THE MOMENT HANNITY RECEIVED THAT LETTER.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: ACCORDING TO THE COMMITTEE, ON DECEMBER 31 2020,
HANNITY SENT CHIEF OF STAFF MARK MEADOWS A TEXT THAT SAID, "I DO
NOT SEE JANUARY 6 HAPPENING THE WAY HE IS BEING TOLD."
SO HANNITY CLEARLY KNEW WHAT WAS COMING.
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THE FORMER PRESIDENT PLANNED THIS
COUP WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE ENTIRE FOX NEWS LINEUP,
INCLUDING THE COMMERCIALS. ( LAUGHTER )
DOWNSIDES TO DESTROYING OUR SYSTEM OF REPRESENTATIVE
GOVERNMENT. ON JANUARY 5, HE WROTE TO
MEADOWS AGAIN, SAYING THAT HE WAS "VERY WORRIED ABOUT THE NEXT
48 HOURS." SO HE EITHER HAD ADVANCE
KNOWLEDGE OF THE PLOT OR HAD JUST EATEN THREE TACO BELL
BURRITO SUPREMES. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HOURS WAS GOING TO BRING CHAOS.
IF THE COMMITTEE REALLY WANTS THE INSIDE SCOOP ON THE WHITE
HOUSE'S PLAN TO STAGE THE COUP, THEY SHOULD TALK TO PETER
NAVARRO, SEEN HERE THROWING A PILLOWCASE OF KITTENS INTO THE
RIVER. NAVARRO WAS ON MSNBC LAST NIGHT,
AND HE REVEALED THAT THE WHITE HOUSE'S PLOT TO OVERTHROW THE
ELECTION EVEN HAD A CUTE LITTLE NICKNAME:
>> THIS PLAN WE HAD CALLED THE "GREEN BAY SWEEP."
>> Stephen: NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE "GREEN BAY SNEAK,"
WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASK AARON RODGERS IF HE'S
VACCINATED. ( LAUGHTER )
AND-- SURE. NAVARRO EXPLAINED THAT WHAT THE
COUP PLOT HAD IN COMMON WITH THE FOOTBALL PLAY WAS TEAMWORK--
AND, OBVIOUSLY, BRAIN DAMAGE: >> WE HAD OVER 100 CONGRESSMEN
AND SENATORS ON CAPITOL HILL READY TO IMPLEMENT THE SWEEP.
WE WERE GOING TO CHALLENGE THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION IN THE
SIX BATTLEGROUND STATES. AND AT 1:00 P.M., SENATOR TED
CRUZ AND GOSAR, A REPRESENTATIVE, STARTED THE
GREEN BAY SWEEP BEAUTIFULLY, CHALLENGING THE RESULTS OF
ARIZONA. >> Stephen: I HAVEN'T SEEN
CRIMINAL ACTIVITY SO CLEARLY EXPLAINED ON TV BY THE CRIMINAL
SINCE RACHEL RAY WELCOMED CO-HOST JEFFREY DAHMER.
YUMMO! BUT NAVARRO SAYS THERE WAS ONE
FLAW IN THE JANUARY 6 PLAN: >> ALL THIS REQUIRED WAS PEACE
AND CALM ON CAPITOL HILL. >> Stephen: (AS SCOOBY VILLAIN)
"AND WE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WTH IT, TOO, IF IT WASN'T FOR
THAT MEDDLING MOB WE UNLEASHED ON CAPITOL HILL.
DAMN YOU, SCOOBY-COUP!" ( APPLAUSE )
REFERENCE. GOOD.
GLAD THEY GOT THE REFERENCE. BY THE WAY, THAT'S NOT AN
EXAGGERATION. CHECK OUT HOW MUCH PETER NAVARRO
LOOKS LIKE A SCOOBY-DOO VILLAIN. NAVARRO THEN EXPLAINED HOW HIS
GOOD OLD-FASHIONED FOOTBALL COUP WAS SUPPOSED TO GO:
>> THE REMEDY WAS FOR VICE PRESIDENT PENCE AS THE
QUARTERBACK IN THE GREEN BAY SWEEP TO REMAND THOSE VOTES BACK
TO THE SIX BATTLEGROUND STATES FOR 10 DAYS FOR A LOOK TO SEE IF
THERE WERE ANY ELECTION IRREGULARITIES OR FRAUD.
>> Stephen: REALLY? PENCE IS THE QUARTERBACK IN THIS
SITUATION? HE DOESN'T STRIKE ME AS THE
QUARTERBACK TYPE PERSONALITY. IF I HAD TO PICK A POSITION THAT
FITS HIS SPARKLING PERSONALITY, I'D GO WITH TACKLING DUMMY.
TOMORROW-- ( APPLAUSE )
TOMORROW, CONGRESS IS GOING TO MARK THE DARK ANNIVERSARY
WITH SOLEMNITY, WITH EVENTS INCLUDING A PRAYER VIGIL.
AND DO NOT EVER DOUBT THE POWER OF PRAYER.
REMEMBER, ON MONDAY, DEVIN NUNES FORMALLY RESIGNED FROM CONGRESS.
THANK YOU FOR HEARING ME, LORD. ( APPLAUSE )
THE SOLEMNITY OF THE DAY WAS IN DANGER OF BEING UNDERMINED BY
FORMER PRESIDENT "MY LITTLE PHONY."
TWO WEEKS AGO, HE ANNOUNCED THAT AT THE TIME OF THE CAPITOL
PRAYER SERVICE, HE PLANNED TO DELIVER REMARKS DOUBLING DOWN ON
THE "BIG LIE," TO COUNTERPROGRAM THE REMEMBRANCE EVENTS.
YEAH, YOU CAN'T LET REMEMBRANCE EVENTS GO ON WITHOUT
COUNTERPROGRAMMING. THE SAME REASON AT A FUNERAL YOU
GOT TO BRING OUT AN INSULT COMIC FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GLAD
THE GUY'S DEAD. ( INSULT COMIC )
IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN HIM STIFF IN YEARS!
OH! HIS WIFE KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT. THAT'S MY TIME.
HIS, TOO! TIP YOUR PALLBEARERS."
( APPLAUSE ) THE SPEECH WITH A STATEMENT.
NOW, READING THIS STATEMENT STRAIGHT WOULD GIVE IT WAY MORE
RESPECT THAN IT DESERVES, BUT I NO LONGER DO AN
IMPRESSION OF THAT CRACK WIPE ANYMORE.
SO, INSTEAD, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE HIS STATEMENT READ BY SOMEONE
WHO HAS THE SAME LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL MATURITY: A 7 -YEAR-OLD
CHILD. ( IN CHILD'S VOICE )
COMMITTEE OF HIGHLY PARTISAN POLITICAL HACKS INVESTIGATING
THE CAUSE OF THE JANUARY 6th PROTEST, WHICH WAS THE RIGGED
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF 2020? I WILL BE HAVING A NEWS
CONFERENCE ON JANUARY 6th AT MAR-A-LAGO TO DISCUSS ALL OF
THESE POINTS, AND MORE. UNTIL THEN, REMEMBER, THE
INSURRECTION TOOK PLACE ON NOVEMBER 3rd.
IT WAS THE COMPLETELY UNARMED PROTEST OF THE RIGGED ELECTION
THAT TOOK PLACE ON JANUARY 6. >> Stephen: THANK YOU, SIR.
I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT-- ( APPLAUSE )
ARMED. AND WHEN DID WE START HAVING TO
SAY "UNARMED" PROTESTS?" PROTESTS ARE UNARMED BY DEFAULT.
THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "WE HAD A LOVELY WEEKEND.
IT WAS A TOTALLY BLOODLESS COTILLION."
WELL, GOOD NEWS. YESTERDAY, THE FORMER PRESIDENT
CANCELED HIS JANUARY 6 EVENT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I'LL GIVE IT UP. I'LL GIVE IT UP, YEAH.
I'M SURE HE'S VERY DISAPPOINTED. I MEAN, HE'D ALREADY PICKED THE
PERFECT OUTFIT FOR THE DAY. HE EXPLAINED HIS DECISION WITH
THIS STATEMENT: >> IN LIGHT OF THE TOTAL BIAS
AND DISHONESTY OF THE JANUARY 6th UNSELECT COMMITTEE OF
DEMOCRATS, TWO FAILED REPUBLICANS, AND THE FAKE NEWS
MEDIA, I AM CANCELING THE JANUARY 6th PRESS CONFERENCE AT
MAR-A-LAGO ON THURSDAY, AND INSTEAD WILL DISCUSS MANY
OF THOSE IMPORTANT TOPICS AT MY RALLY ON SATURDAY, JANUARY 15,
IN ARIZONA. IT WILL BE A BIG CROWD!
( LAUGHTER ) HE'S MOVING IT FROM MAR-A- LAGO
TO ARIZONA, CONSIDERING THEIR STATE MOTTO: ARIZONA: AMERICA'S
BACKUP FLORIDA. ( APPLAUSE )
ONE. WE'RE GOING TO NEED ONE.
APPARENTLY, THE REAL REASON HE CANCELED THE EVENT IS BECAUSE
SOME ADVISERS URGED THE FORMER PRESIDENT TO RESCHEDULE FOR A
DAY THAT WOULD DRAW LESS ATTENTION TO A LOW POINT OF HIS
PRESIDENCY. SO, EVERY DAY OF HIS PRESIDENCY
( LAUGHTER ) BUT--
( CHEERING ) ( APPLAUSE )
IT WOULD BE LIKE JUDAS GIVING A SPEECH TO COMMEMORATE
GOOD FRIDAY: "SURE, IT'S A SAD DAY, BUT
WITHOUT ME, NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED!
THE REAL CRUCIFIXION WAS ON NOVEMBER 3rd!
MARY MAGDALENE KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
TIP YOUR PHARISEES." ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU. BUT ACCORDING TO THE "NEW YORK
TIMES'" MAGGIE HABERMAN, THE REAL, REAL REASON IS THAT IT WAS
BECOMING CLEAR HE WASN'T LIKELY TO GET THE LIVE TV COVERAGE HE
WAS HOPING FOR. WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE.
UPSTAGING SOLEMN EVENTS RARELY GETS GOOD RATINGS.
THAT'S WHY THEY CANCELED "DICK CLARK'S PEARL HARBOR'S ROCKIN'
EVE." ( LAUGHTER )
RIGHT? THERE'S AN UPDATE FROM THE WORLD
OF COVID: EVERYONE IN THE WORLD HAS COVID.
( LAUGHTER ) WERE CLOSED IN THE FIRST WEEK OF
JANUARY, AND THE QUITTING RATE FOR THE HEALTHCARE INDUSTRY
REACHED AN ALL-TIME HIGH. OKAY, THERE'S AN EASY SOLUTION
HERE. KIDS, THIS IS THE MOMENT DOC
McSTUFFINS HAS BEEN TRAINING YOU FOR.
GRAB YOUR FISHER-PRICE STETHOSCOPE AND ASK MOMMY AND
DADDY FOR A RIDE TO THE E.R. YOU'RE SCRUBBIN' IN!
DAMMIT, McKENZIE! THERE ARE LIVES ARE ON THE LINE!
( LAUGHTER ) ♪ ♪ ♪
( CHEERING ) TWIN?
IS? SO, THE COUNTRY'S IN CHAOS.
WHAT WE NEED IS CLEAR GUIDANCE FROM THE C.D.C., WHICH IS WHY
THEY ISSUED YESTERDAY, NEW GUIDANCE UPDATING THEIR RECENT
FIVE-DAY ISOLATION RULE WITH THIS SIMPLE ADDENDUM:
PEOPLE WHO HAVE RECOVERED FROM THE VIRUS AND HAVE ISOLATED FOR
AT LEAST FIVE DAYS CAN TAKE A RAPID TEST IF THEY WANT, BUT
THEY DON'T HAVE TO. AND THOSE WHO TEST POSITIVE
AFTER FIVE DAYS FROM THEIR INITIAL TEST SHOULD ISOLATE FOR
ANOTHER FIVE DAYS. ALSO, PEOPLE WHO TEST NEGATIVE
OR DON'T GET TESTED CAN GO BACK TO WORK, AS LONG AS THEY WEAR A
MASK. OOH, I KNOW THIS ONE!
THE ANSWER IS... THE KNIFE WAS AN ICICLE!
NO, YOU TAKE THE CHICKEN AND THE GRAIN, AND YOU VACCINATE THE
FOX! AM I-- NO.
ALL RIGHT. EVEN THE NEWS--
( APPLAUSE ) UNDERSTAND THESE UPDATED
GUIDELINES. >> CONFUSING TIMES WHEN IT COMES
TO RECOMMENDATIONS FROM THE C.D.C.
THIS LATEST CHANGE FROM THEM, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?
>> IT IS CONFUSING. IT DOES FEEL LIKE A BIT OF A
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: IF THIS, THEN THIS.
>> IT DOES FEEL IN MANY WAYS "DO
THE HOKEY POKEY AND TURN YOURSELF AROUND."
>> Stephen: GAYLE'S RIGHT. IN FACT, THAT'S AN EASY WAY TO
REMEMBER THE NEW RULES. JON?
♪ ♪ ♪ ( SUNG TO "HOKEY POKEY" )
♪ OR MAYBE JUST GO OUT ♪ HEY, AM I STILL SICK?
♪ THAT'S FOR YOU TO FIGURE OUT. ♪ YOU DO THE NOSEY -POKEY
♪ AND YOU CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP ♪ TIME FOR MY DAILY SHOUT!
AAAAAAAH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS SENATOR AMY
KLOBUCHAR. BUT WHEN WE RETURN, YOUNG PEOPLE
ARE GETTING SCAMMED. CAN WE DO ANYTHING TO STOP OLD
STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY! JUST PEELING THE PAINT OFF THE
WALLS. UNBELIEVABLE.
( APPLAUSE ) OVER THERE, MY FRIENDS.
LAMPLEY, I JUST-- >> Jon: JOHN LAMPELY!
>> Stephen: YOU ARE PLAYING THAT THING SO DAMN HOT AND HARD,
THEY FEEL LIKE I JUST GOT A MILD DERM ABRASION RIGHT NOW.
I HAVE A YOUTHFUL GLOW. JON, YOU KNOW WHO WE HAVE ON
TONIGHT? WE'VE GOT ON SITTING SENATOR AMY
KLOBUCHAR IS HERE TONIGHT. ( APPLAUSE )
TO HER WAS A YEAR AGO. THE LAST TIME I SPOKE TO HER WAS
THE NIGHT OF JANUARY 6. SHE WAS FRESH FROM THE CHAOS AND
SPOKE TO US. NOW WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, AND THE VOTING RIGHT BILL, JUST AS
IMPORTANT-- MAYBE EVEN MORE IMPORTANT BECAUSE NONE OF IT
MATTER-- NONE OF THIS MATTERS WITHOUT A VOTING RIGHTS BILL.
>> Jon: WE HAVE TO HAVE THE RIGHT PEOPLE IN THERE.
>> Stephen: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE THAT
HAPPENED. IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED MOMENTS
AGO BECAUSE WE'RE DOING THIS, THIS AFTERNOON.
THE AGREEMENTS HAVE BEEN POSTPONED.
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT. >> Stephen: INDEFINITELY.
FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW-- AND I DON'T KNOW WHO WOULDN'T
KNOW-- HOW MANY NOMINATIONS, JON?
HOW MANY NOMINATIONS DID YOU GET THIS YEAR?
>> Jon: I GOT 11 NOMINATIONS. >> Stephen: YOU NEED TWO
HANDS-- YOU NEED TWO HANDS AND A FOOT, TWO HANDS AND A FOOT TO
COUNT THAT. >> Jon: IT WAS NICE.
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY YOU HAVE TO WAIT.
I'M SORRY IT GETS POSTPONED BECAUSE I'M SURE IT WAS A BIG
NIGHT. WAS IT THE 30th OR THE
THIRST? >> Jon: IT WAS T THE 31st
BUT I ELECT JUST AS EXCITED. IT'S SAFE.
>> Stephen: IT'S GREAT THAT IT'S SAFE.
WE ALL WANT TO BE SAFE. BUT YOU WOULD HAVE FOUND OUT ON
31st WHETHER YOU WON THOSE 11.
NOW YOU ARE STILL POTENTIALLY GOING TO WIN INDEFINITELY.
>> Jon: I LOVE THAT. >> Stephen: NOW, JUST ASSUME
YOU'VE WON UNTIL THEY-- >> Jon: YES.
>> Stephen: SAY NO. WHICH THEY DON'T OF WON'T.
>> Jon: I ALWAYS ASSUME I WON. THAT'S MY PHILOSOPHY.
>> Stephen: CASH THAT CHECK NOW.
I ASSUME THERE'S CASH. IS THERE CASH?
>> Jon: YEAH, SOMETHING. FOLKS, WE ALL WORRY ABOUT THE
OLDER FOLKS OUT THERE, THE ONES IN OUR LIVES BEING SCAMMED ON
THE INTERNET. BUT IT'S NOT JUST THE ELDERLY
ANYMORE, BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO NEW RESEARCH, GEN Zers ARE MORE
LIKELY THAN OTHER AGE GROUPS TO FALL FOR SCAMS.
IT'S NOT SURPRISING. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE
GENERATION THAT WAS CONNED INTO BRINGING BACK LOW-RISE JEANS.
DON'T DO IT. YOU EAT, LIKE, ONE BAGEL AND
YOU'RE REACHING FOR A LONG SWEATER.
APPARENTLY, THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF NEW, YOUTH-ORIENTED CONS,
LIKE ONLINE INFLUENCER SCAMS, WHERE SCAMMERS CREATE FAKE
SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS THAT MIMIC AN INFLUENCER, HOLD A
CONTEST, AND THEN ASK THE WINNER TO PAY A FEE OR PROVIDE
THEIR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER TO GET THEIR PRIZE.
HOW SAD THAT CON ARTISTS ARE SULLYING THE TRUSTED PROFESSION
OF ONLINE INFLUENCERS? NOW WHO WILL I TRUST TO SELL ME
HAIR-GROWTH, WEIGHT-LOSS TEA? SCAMMERS OUT THERE ARE ALSO
GOING AFTER GEN Z'S LOVE LIVES WITH SO-CALLED ROMANCE SCAMS,
WHERE FRAUDSTERS MEET SOMEONE ONLINE, THEN WORK ON WINNING A
PERSON'S HEART AND THEN TRY TO GET THE VICTIM'S MONEY.
KIDS THELTZ DAYS WITH THEIR TECHNOLOGY.
IN MY DAY, YOU HAD TO DO ALL THAT IN PERSON-- STEAL THEIR
CHECKBOOK, AND THEN FLEE FROM THE POLICE IN A CAR WHERE YOU
HAD TO KNOW WHERE YOU WERE GOING!
NO G.P.S. ANOTHER BIG AREA WHERE YOUNG
ARE GETTING SCAMMED: ON YE OLDE BLOCKCHAIN.
JUST RECENTLY, THOUSANDS OF YOUNG PEOPLE FELL VICTIM TO A
CRYPTO SCAM WHEN AN UNKNOWN DEVELOPER LAUNCHED A TOKEN
INSPIRED BY THE HIT NETFLIX SHOW "SQUID GAME" CALLED "SQUID."
THE TOKEN GOT OVER 43,000 INVESTORS BEFORE THE DEVELOPERS
SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED, MAKING OFF WITH ABOUT $3.3 MILLION.
WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOKS LIKE "THE SQUID GAMERS"
HAVE BECOME... "THE SQUIDDERS"?
I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW. I HEAR-- I HEAR VERY GOOD
THINGS. ( LAUGHTER )
SO HERE TO GIVE YOUNG PEOPLE SOME TIPS ON HOW TO AVOID
INTERNET SCAMS IS MY WRITER AND CERTIFIED YOUNG PERSON, ELIANA
KWARTLER. COME ON OUT HERE, ELAINA.
THANKS FOR BEING HERE. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: ELIANA, HOW CAN
YOUNG PEOPLE AVOID SCAMS ON THE INTERNET?
>> YEAH, THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT QUESTION, STEVE.
AND TO START OFF, I WAS HOPING YOU COULD ANSWER A QUESTION
FOR ME: HOW DO I FIND MY ROUTING NUMBER?
>> Stephen: UH, AT THE BOTTOM OF ANY CHECK-- WAIT, WHY DO
YOU NEED YOUR ROUTING NUMBER? >> WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, I
ENTERED AN INSTAGRAM CONTEST, AND I AM THE LUCKY WINNER OF A
YEAR'S SUPPLY OF LULULEMON YOGA PANTS.
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GIVE THEM MY ROUTING NUMBER.
>> Stephen: A YEAR'S SUPPLY? HOW MANY IS THAT?
>> ONE. ( LAUGHTER )
MIGHT BE ONE OF THE YOUNG PEOPLE FALLING FOR THESE NEW
SCAMS. >> DON'T WORRY, STEVE.
I CHECKED IT OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND, AND HE SAYS IT'S
COOL. HIS NAME IS JOHN SMITH.
WE'RE TOTALLY IN LOVE. ISN'T HE SO HANDSOME?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: JOHN SMITH.
JOHN SMITH, OKAY. HAVE YOU EVER MET JOHN IN
PERSON? >> NO.
IT'S A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.
>> Stephen: ELAINA, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU.
THAT'S A STOCK PHOTO. IT STILL HAS THE WATERMARK
ON IT. >> UM, YEAH.
HE'S A MODEL. HE JUST DID A SUPER -PRESTIGIOUS
AD CAMPAIGN WHERE HE'S HANGING OUT WITH HIS DIVERSE COLLEAGUES
IN A BOARDROOM. >> Stephen: I'M VERY HAPPY FOR
YOU. ELIANA, DO YOU HAVE ANY ACTUAL
TIPS PEOPLE CAN USE? >> OKAY, YES.
IF GEN Zs WANT TO STAY SAFE ONLINE, THEY SHOULD INVEST IN
THIS NEW AMAZING CRYPTOCURRENCY TOKEN CALLED COLBERT-COIN,
INSPIRED BY THE HIT CBS SHOW, "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN
COLBERT." >> Stephen: ELAINA, ELAINA,
COME ON. >> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: LOOK, ELAINA, THAT IS OBVIOUSLY AN AMAZING
INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY. TELL ME, WHAT DO YOUNG PEOPLE
NEED TO DO TO GET IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR?
>> JUST A CREDIT CARD NUMBER! THEN CAN SEND IT, ALONG WITH THE
NAME OF THEIR FIRST PET AND THE STREET THEY GREW UP ON, TO
elianaandstephenlegitimate business@colbertcoin. belarus.
>> Stephen: WOW, IT'S THAT EASY? HOW DOES IT WORK?
>> WELL, WITH COLBERT-COIN, YOU GIVE US YOUR SAVINGS, AND THEN
WE CRYPTOCURRENCY IT. AFTER THAT, YOU NEVER HAVE TO
WORRY ABOUT IT ANYMORE, MY STANS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE BUSY TURNING YOUR CASH INTO
FUTURE MONEY. TO THE MOON, APES!
>> THAT'S LIT. NOW, YOU MIGHT BE ASKING
YOURSELF, "WHY ARE STEVE AND ELIANA DOING THIS?"
SIMPLE: WE WANT TO HELP YOU. >> Stephen: AND NOT BECAUSE
WE'RE IN WAY TOO DEEP WITH AN UNDERGROUND BELARUSIAN LOAN
SHARK, AND DRAGOMIR SAYS WE HAVE THREE DAYS TO PAY UP OR HE'S
COMING FOR OUR KNEECAPS. ( LAUGHTER )
>> YES, NOT THAT. >> Stephen: SO INVEST IN
COLBERT-COIN TODAY. >> YOU CAN TRUST US.
>> BECAUSE WE'RE A TV SHOW! >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: EVERYBODY, THANK
YOU SO MUCH. FOR BEING WITH US THIS EVENING.
WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
FOLKS, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE SENIOR
SENATOR FROM THE STATE OF MINNESOTA.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: THANKS SO MUCH FOR
BRAVING THE WINTER AND THE OMICRON TO BE WITH US THIS
EVENING. >> NO PROBLEM.
>> Stephen: NOW, ALSO, THE SNOWSTORM IN D.C. YESTERDAY.
HOW DID YOU FARE. >> I WORE MY BOOTS.
>> Stephen: AS A MINNESOTAN, WAS IT A WORK-A-DAY FOR YOU?
WERE YOU SURPRISED IT WAS PARALYZING THE NATION'S CAPITAL.
>> YES, THE D.C. SNOW -REMOVAL POLICY IS WAIT TILL IT MELTS.
THAT'S IT. AND THOSE CARS ON I-95, IT WAS
ROLE HORRIBLE. >> Stephen: 27 HOURS OF NO
MOVEMENT. >> RIGHT, AND MY FRIEND TIM
KAINE IN THAT CAR FOR 27 HOURS TRYING TO GET TO THE CAPITAL.
I COULD HAVE SNOW SHOED FASTER. BUT, YES, IT WAS TOUGH.
>> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENING AS FAR AS THE EYE
COULD SEE. IT MUST FEEL FAMILIAR TO THE
SENATE. >> GRIDLOCK, GOT IT.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. IT'S WHAT I DO.
>> WE NEED A FEW SNOW SHOVELS. ( APPLAUSE )
THE SHOW-- WE HAVE SPOKEN ONCE SINCE THEN OVER ZOOM, BUT YOU
WERE ON THE SHE ON JANUARY 6 FROM THE CAPITOL, ON THAT DARK
DAY, GIVING US YOUR PLAY-BY- PLAY OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU, AND
YOUR REACTION TO THAT MOMENT. A YEAR LATER, TOMORROW BEING THE
FIRST ANNIVERSARY, WHAT DO YOU... WHAT DO YOU MOST REMEMBER
FROM THAT DAY? WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DO YOU TAKE
FROM THAT EXPERIENCE, NOT ONLY WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU, BUT WHAT
IT MEANS TO OUR NATION. >> YOU KNOW, THERE'S BEEN A LOT
OF FOCUS ON THE ELECTEDS THAT DAY, BUT I REMEMBER THE
OFFICERS' FACES, SCRATCHES DOWN THEIR FACES.
THE WORDS OF OFFICER DUNN, WHO AFTER BRAVELY DEFENDING NOT JUST
THE CAPITOL, BUT OUR REPUBLIC, SAID TO ONE OF HIS FELLOW
OFFICERS COLLAPSED IN THE ROTUNDA, SAID HE WAS CALLED THE
"N" WORD MULTIPLE TIMES, AND HE SAID, "IS THIS AMERICA?
THIS AMERICA?" AND STAFF MEMBERS, A LOT OF--
THERE HASN'T BEEN A LOT OF FOCUS ON THAT, INCLUDING MY OWN STAFF
IN A CLOSET WITH FORKS TO DEFEND THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY WERE
RIGHT NEAR ONE OF THE DOORS WHERE THE INSURRECTIONISTS
INVADED THE CAPITOL. SO THAT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE.
THAT'S ALL THEY HAD, TWO OF THEM.
THEY HAD FORKS AND THEY WERE READY TO GO.
THERE WERE OFFICERS-- JUST TO MAKE THIS CLEAR: 75% OF THE
OFFICERS WERE IN PLAIN CLOTHES. THEY WERE INSURRECTIONISTS THAT
HAD BETTER PROTECTION THAN THEY DID.
AND SO, THERE HAS BEEN NOT JUST SOUL-SEARCHING GOING ON, NOT
JUST MAJOR INVESTIGATIONS, AS THE ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE
UNITED STATES POINTED OUT TODAY. WE MADE MAJOR CHANGES TO
SECURITY AT THE CAPITOL. BUT IN THE END, MY BIGGEST
MEMORY ACTUALLY HAPPENED A FEW HOURS AFTER YOUR SHOW, AND
THAT'S WHEN WE HAD VOWED TO GO BACK TO FINISH OUR JOB.
AND AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING, SENATOR BLUNT, THE REPUBLICAN
SENATOR FROM MISSOURI, AND VICE PRESIDENT PENCE, MYSELF, AND TWO
YOUNG WOMEN WITH THE MAHOGANY BOX WITH THE-- THE LAST
ELECTORAL BALLOTS UP TO WYOMING, MADE THAT WALK THROUGH THE
BROKEN GLASS AND THE SPRAY-PAINTED STATUE, AND WE
FINISHED OUR JOB AND DECLARED THAT JOE BIDEN AND KAMALA HARRIS
WERE THE VICTORS. THAT'S WHAT I REMEMBER.
( APPLAUSE ) BE GRATEFUL, AND MANY OF US WILL
ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL FOR YOU AND THE OTHER PEOPLE THERE WHO DID
THEIR JOBS. AND SEND THE WILL OF THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE IN THAT MOMENT. BUT THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO
DID NOT, INCLUDING MANY OF YOUR COLLEAGUES.
AND SO I KNOW YOU GUYS WERE ALL HUSTLED OFF TO ROOMS.
I DON'T KNOW IF THEY WERE SPECIFICALLY SAFE ROOMS, BUT
ROOM WHERE YOU COULD BE SAFE WHILE THE CAPITOL POLICE WERE
TRYING TO FEND OFF THE INSURRECTIONISTS.
BUT I ASSUME YOU WERE THROWN IN THERE TOGETHER.
IT WASN'T LIKE, "HERE'S THE REPUBLICAN ROOM, THE DEMOCRATIC
ROOM." IT WAS ALL SIDES OF AISLE.
WERE YOU IN THE ROOM WITH JOSH HAWLEY AND LINDSAY GRAHAM?
>> YES. >> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT
LIKE. >> EVERYONE WAS IN THE SAME
ROOM. FIRST OF ALL, WE HAD TVs ON SO
WE COULD SEE WHAT WAS HAPPENING. >> Stephen: YOU COULD SEE THE
ATTACK CONTINUING STANDING NEXT TO THE PEOPLE WHO INVITED IT?
>> THAT'S CORRECT. AND I REMEMBER THERE WAS ONE
DRAMATIC MOMENT. REMEMBER HOW-- I KNOW YOU DO--
HOW THE FORMER PRESIDENT WOULD NOT EVEN ADDRESS --
>> Stephen: OVER THREE HOURS. >> YES, IT TOOKS HOURS AND
HOURS. BUT INCOMING PRESIDENT BIDEN, HE
DID. AND THERE WAS A MOMENT WHERE
EVERYONE WATCHED HIM SPEAK, AND EVERYONE APPLAUDED.
AND THAT WAS A BIG DEAL. AND --
>> Stephen: ON BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE APPLAUDED.
>> THEY DID. AND SENATOR BLUNT AND I GOT ON
THE STAGE, BECAUSE SENATOR SCHUMER, WHO WAS THE INCOMING
LEADER, JOINED US LATER IN THE EVENING, AND HE AND SENATOR
McCONNELL WERE SOMEWHERE ELSE, WHICH THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
UNDER THE SECURITY PROTOCOLS. SENATOR BLUNT AND I WENT TO
STAGE AND WE SAID NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW IN THAT
CHAMBER, WE ARE GOING TO GO BACK, AND WE'RE GOING TO FINISH
OUR JOB. SO, OVERALL, WE LITERALLY WORKED
IT TO TAKE CARE OF OBJECTIONS, OF ALL THINGS.
AS YOU KNOW, DURING THE INSURRECTION, THERE WERE STILL
PLANNED OBJECTIONS TO THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE.
>> Stephen: YES. >> THE VAST MAJORITY OF
SENATORS, OVER 90 OF THEM OUT OF 100, DID VOTE TO UPHOLD THE
RESULTS. BUT THERE WERE SOME THAT DIDN'T.
AND I STILL, WHEN I LOOK AT THEM, I THINK ABOUT THAT EVERY
TIME. BECAUSE I FELT THAT MOMENT, AS
WE WALKED THROUGH THAT BROKEN GLASS AND FAST FORWARD TWO WEEKS
LATER THAT BEAUTIFUL INAUGURATION UNDER THE BLUE SKY,
LEADERS OF BOTH PARTIES, THAT THIS WAS BEHIND US, THAT
DEMOCRACY HAD PREVAILED. AND IT DID --
>> Stephen: "OUR FLAG WAS STILL THERE" AS LADY GASAID.
>> IT WAS. AND I REMEMBER SHE SANG, AMANDA
GORHAM'S POEM, AS GARTH BROOKS SANG "AMAZING GRACE."
AND THEN DONALD TRUMP IS OUT THERE, AS YOU JUST POINTED OUT
EARLIER IN THE SHOW, IS STILL OUT THERE WITH HIS BIG LIE
TELLING PEOPLE A LIE. IT'S NOT JUST A LIE ABOUT AN
ELECTION. HE IS LITERALLY UNDERMINING OUR
DEMOCRACY AS WE SPEAK. >> Stephen: AND HE'S LYING
ABOUT THAT DAY, JANUARY 6. >> HE'S LYING ABOUT THE DAY.
HE'S LYING ABOUT WHO WON THE ELECTION.
HE HAS PEOPLE THAT ARE STILL FOLLOWING HIM AND SHOWING UP.
AND I JUST THINK IT IS ON ALL OF US-- I DON'T CARE WHAT POLITICAL
PARTY. AND I HAVE GREAT ADMIRATION FOR
THE REPUBLICANS OVER IN THE HOUSE, INCLUDING LIZ CHENEY, WHO
ARE, VERY FEW OF THEM, THAT ARE OUT THERE WILLING TO SAY THAT
WE'VE GOT TO HOLD PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE.
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, THERE ARE A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT DON'T
THINK WE SHOULD. AND I THINK WE HAVE TO HOLD THEM
ACCOUNTABLE. WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT WE
CARRY ON THE TORCH. WE ARE STEWARDS OF OUR DEMOCRACY
IN THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS. SO THAT MEANS WHAT THEY DIDN'T
GET DONE WITH BEAR SPRAY AND BAYONETS AND FLAG POLES, THEY
ARE NOW TRYING TO DO WITH LAWS SAYING YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE
DROP-OFF BOX IN THE ENTIRE CITY OF MILWAUKEE.
>> Stephen: OR THE LEGISLATURE HAS THE ABILITY TO OVERTURN THE
WILL OF THE PEOPLE AND APPOINT THEIR OWN ELECTORS.
>> EXACTLY. OR-- AND HERE'S ONE-- DISMANTLE
NONPARTISAN ELECTION COMMISSIONS AND REPLACE THEM, THAT YOU'D
HAVE A PARTISAN LEGISLATURE COUNTING THE BALLOTS.
WE ARE NOT A DICTATORSHIP. WE ARE A DEMOCRACY.
AND WE CAN HAVE DIFFERENCES OF OPINION, VAST DIFFERENCES, BUT
IN THE END, WE HAVE TO RESPECT THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE AND THE
VOTES. AND THAT ALSO MEANS ALLOWING
PEOPLE TO VOTE. AS REVEREND WARNOCK, NOW SENATOR
WARNOCK SAYS SO WELL, RIGHT NOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY,
SOME PEOPLE DON'T WANT SOME PEOPLE TO VOTE.
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON. AND WE MUST CALL IT OUT AND STOP
IT. ( APPLAUSE )
QUICK BREAK. BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK THE SENATOR ABOUT WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO WORK WITH THOSE PEOPLE WHO HELPED INCITE THAT RIOT THAT
( APPLAUSE ). WE'RE BACK WITH SENATOR AMY
KLOBUCHAR. SENATOR, WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE IN
THE CHAMBER WITH THOSE PEOPLE WHO ON THAT NIGHT WERE
APPLAUDING BIDEN, BUT HAVE SUBSEQUENTLY TRIED TO GAS LIGHT
AMERICA ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT AND WHO ARE CLEARLY
FASCIST CURIOUS IF NOT FASCIST THEMSELVES?
THOSE PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER LIVE DOWN THEIR SHAME BUT DON'T CARE
BECAUSE THEY HAVE NONE. WHAT'S IT LIKE TO SIT AND WORK
NEXT TO THEM? >> NOT PLEASANT.
BUT EVERY DAY -- >> Stephen: THAT'S A VERY
HARSH THING COMING FROM A MINNESOTAN.
>> EVERY DAY YOU HAVE TO GO AND DO YOUR JOB.
AND, YOU KNOW, THIS IS A DEMOCRACY.
THEY GOT ELECTED. I WILL WORK TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE
NOT REELECTED, BUT IT IS ON ME TO MAKE THE CASE TO THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE, DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS, THAT OUR DEMOCRACY
MUST PREVAIL. AND RIGHT NOW, THE ISSUE OF OUR
DAY-- I MEAN, I WOULD PERSONALLY GET RID OF THE FILIBUSTER, OOB.
I THINK WE'VE GOT TO -- >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT
THAT. >> I THINK WE'VE GOT TO LAY--
BUT SHORT OF THAT, THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER THINGS WE CAN DO.
WE ARE RESTORE THE SENATE TO THE PLACE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE, WHERE
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY DEBATE ISSUES INSTEAD OF WHAT IS
GOING ON RIGHT NOW, PEOPLE OBJECT TO SOMETHING, PUT A HOLD
ON A NOMINEE AND GO HOME AND RAISE MONEY.
>> Stephen: IT'S THE MOST DELIBERATIVE BODY IN THE WORLD
BUT THERE'S VERY LITTLE DELIBERATION.
>> THEY SHOULD HAVE TO STAY THERE AND DEBATE LIKE "MR. SMITH
GOES TO WASHINGTON" THAT OLD MOVIE.
THEY HAVE TO COME IN AND DEBATE AND MAKE THEIR CASE TO THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE. >> Stephen: UNTIL CLAUDE REINS
HAS A BREAKDOWN. >> BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT'S
HAPPENING. IN THE HISTORY OF THE SENATE--
ARE YOU READY FOR THIS-- 160, 160 EXCEPTIONS TO THAT
FILIBUSTER RULE THAT BASICALLY SAYS THE FILIBUSTER RULE, YOU
BASICALLY HAVE TO GET 60 PEOPLE. 160 DIFFERENT EXCEPTIONS TO
THAT. THERE HAVE BEEN CHANGES MADE
MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE HISTORY OF THE SENATE.
AND I THINK WHEN OUR VERY DEMOCRACY IS AT RISK, WHEN
YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE THAT ARE PASSING LAWS THAT SAY YOUR VOTE
CAN'T BE COUNTED, I THINK NOW IS THE TIME TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION TO
THE FILIBUSTER. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE
ANOTHER BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK THE SENATOR ABOUT
THE FUTURE OF THE FILIBUSTER AND THE NEW VOTING RIGHTS BILL.
STICK AROUND. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ). WE'RE BACK HERE #-R WITH THE
SENIOR SENATOR FROM MINNESOTA, AMY KLOBUCHAR.
I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO INTERVIEW THEN-PRESIDENT- ELECT
BIDEN A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO, BETWEEN THE ELECTION AND THE
INAUGURATION. AND I ASKED HIM ABOUT A NEW
VOTING RIGHTS BILL, SAYING DOESN'T THAT HAVE TO BE FIRST
BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE REALLY MATTERS UNLESS YOU STABILIZE OUR
DEMOCRACY WITH A TRUE VOTING RIGHTS BILL?
NOW, IT TURNED OUT THAT THE VOTING RIGHTS BILL IS FOURTH.
YOU KNOW, IT'S THE FOURTH THING BEING INTRODUCED.
WAS THAT THE RIGHT THING TO DO? SHOULD WE HAVE DONE THE OTHER
THREE FIRST? >> THE WORK ON THAT VOTING
RIGHTS BILL HAS BEEN GOING ON-- I CHAIR THE RULES COMMITTEE,
AND, LITERALLY, OUR FIRST BILL THAT WE GOT THROUGH LEGISLATION
WAS THE "FOR THE PEOPLE" ACT. WE THEN MADE SOME CHANGES ON IT.
IT'S NOW CALLED THE "FREEDOM TO VOTE" ACT.
I LEAD THE BILL. WE HAVE EVERY DEMOCRATIC SENATOR
AND NOW WIRE AT THIS OTHER POINT, TALKING ABOUT THE SENATE
RULES. WHAT THE BILL DOES-- IT IS SO
FIRMLY GROUNDED IN THE CONSTITUTION.
THE CONSTITUTION SAYS THAT CONGRESS CAN MAKE OR ALTER THE
TIME, PLACE, MANNER OF ELECTIONS, RIGHT.
THIS WAS ANTICIPATE, THAT AT SOME POINT, BECAUSE IT'S A
FEDERAL ELECTION-- AND THIS ISN'T JUST FOR PRESIDENT.
IT'S ALSO FOR SENATE, FOR HOUSE-- THAT CONGRESS CAN PLAY A
ROLE. AND THIS IS OUR MOMENT TO STEP
IN. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED WHEN WE
HAD CIVIL RIGHTS LEGISLATION IN THE 1960s.
THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AT SOME POINT STEPS IN.
WHEN WHEN YOU HAVE THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING, LIKE YOU'VE GOT
IN GEORGIA, WHICH IS ONE OF THE WORST LAWS THAT PASSED, YOU
CAN'T EVEN REGISTER PEOPLE TO VOTE DURING THE LAST MONTH OF
THE RUNOFF PERIOD. AND IN THE LAST ELECTION, WHEN
SENATOR WARNOCK WON AND SENATOR OSSEFF WON, THEY REGISTERED
70,000 PEOPLE DURING THAT TIME PERIOD.
THEY HAVE A REQUIREMENT THAT THEY PUT IN PLACE THAT YOU HAVE
TO WRITE A DATE ON THE OUTER, INSIDE ENVELOPE.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE DATE IS? YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE THE DATE
YOU'RE FILING YOUR BALLOT. YOUR BIRTHDAY.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIGURE OUT THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT THAT
ON THE OUTSIDE OF AN ENVELOPE. THESE ARE THE KINDS OF THINGS
THAT ARE BEING PUT IN PLACE ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO SUPPRESS
THE VOTE. AND YOU ADD TO THAT THE FACT
THAT THE "FREEDOM TO VOTE" ACT ALSO INCLUDES SOMETHING REALLY
IMPORTANT WHICH IS TRANSPARENCY AND DISCLOSURE OF DARK MONEY,
OUTSIDE MONEY THAT HAS BEEN POLLUTING OUR ELECTION PROCESS.
( APPLAUSE ) AS WELL.
SO... ( APPLAUSE )
SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. SAFE TRAVELS HOME.
>> THANK YOU, EVERYONE >> Stephen: SENATOR AMY
KLOBUCHAR, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
>> Stephen: PERFORMING HIS NEW SINGLE, "THE BEST PART OF LIFE,"
SAINt JHN!
>> ♪ ALL NIGHTS, ALL NIGHTS, EVERY NIGHT
♪ YOU ONLY LOVE ME WHEN THEY'RE NOT WATCHING
♪ ALL NIGHTS, ALL NIGHTS, EVERY NIGHT
♪ ALL NIGHT HEY WHO'S SCARED?
♪ WHO REALLY AFRAID OF WHERE THIS GOES?
♪ EVEN THOUGH I KNOW HOW IT ENDS UP, AIN'T NOBODY SCARED
♪ I PUT MY HAND UP IN THE AIR YOU PUT YOUR HEART UP IN THE AIR
♪ YOU GAVE IT TO ME, MADE IT VERY CLEAR
♪ THIS IS THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE I'M EXCITED, I'M HAPPY THAT
♪ IT'S PRIVATE, I'M READY, BABE DON'T GOTTA TELL ME
♪ HOW YOU LIKE IT I'M PSYCHIC, I KNOW JUST
♪ HOW YOU LIKE IT IN EVERY WAY HOLD ME, NOBODY ELSE SURVIVED,
♪ NOBODY MADE IT OUT I GOTTA WAVE THE FLAG ON
♪ THE STEPS BY MY LONELY I DON'T KNOW THE MILES, GIRL,
♪ I DON'T KNOW THE ROUTES THE ONLY THING I KNOW IS
♪ THIS LOVE ♪ I'M WITH YOU
FOR FOREVER EVER EVEN IF IT END ♪ AND THE BEST PART OF LIFE, I'M
WITH YOU ♪ FOR FOREVER EVER, THEN WE RE-
♪ AND THE BEST PART OF LIFE, I'M WITH YOU
♪ FOR FOREVER EVER EVER 'TIL THE END
♪ I'M WITH YOU FOR FOREVER 'TLL THE END
♪ LOOK, TRUTHFULLY SPEAKING, MY DOG, I WOULDN'T TELL YOU NO LIES
♪ I WASN'T HERE EVERY NIGHT, I DID MY SHARE OF THE CRIMES
♪ I WAS A TERROR SOMETIMES, AIN'T SEE THE MIRROR SOMETIMES
♪ NOW I'M ACCOUNTABLE, DAWG, COMFORTABLE CLOSING MY EYES
♪ I CAN'T BE 'FRAID OF THE DARK, CAN'T LET YOU PLAY WITH MY HEART
♪ I WAS JUST PLAYING MY PART, I KNOW YOU STAYING APART
♪ WE BEEN IN LOVE FOR A WHILE, WE BEEN IN LOVE, NO DENIAL
♪ WE DONE RAN A FOREST MILE, BABY, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE-
♪ HOLD ME, NOBODY ELSE SURVIVED, NOBODY MADE IT OUT
♪ I GOTTA WAVE THE FLAG ON THE STEPS BY MY LONELY
♪ I DON'T KNOW THE MILES, GIRL, I DON'T KNOW THE ROUTES
♪ THE ONLY THING I KNOW IS THIS LOVE
♪ THE BEST PART OF LIFE, I'M WITH YOU WOO
♪ FOR FOREVER EVER EVEN IF IT END WOO
♪ AND THE BEST PART OF LIFE, I'M WITH YOU HEY, HEY
♪ FOR FOREVER EVER, THEN WE RE- BEGIN
♪ AND THE BEST PART OF LIFE, I'M WITH YOU
♪ FOR FOREVER EVER EVER 'TIL THE END
♪ AND THE BEST PART OF LIFE IN A MOVIE
♪ I'M WITH YOU FOR FOREVER 'TLL THE END
♪ AND THE BEST PART OF LIFE, I'M WITH YOU
♪ FOR FOREVER EVER EVER 'TIL THE END
♪ AND THE BEST PART OF LIFE IN A MOVIE
♪ I'M WITH YOU FOR FOREVER 'TLL THE END
♪ WHOA, OH ALL NIGHTS, ALL NIGHTS,
♪ EVERY NIGHT YOU ONLY LOVE ME WHEN
♪ THEY'RE NOT WATCHING ALL NIGHTS, ALL NIGHTS,
♪ EVERY NIGHT ALL NIGHT
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SAINt JHN,
EVERYBODY! THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE JOHN DICKERSON.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. GOOD NIGHT.