1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:05,438 TO TALK TO THE COMMITTEE INVESTIGATING THE JANUARY 6 2 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,941 ATTACK ON THE CAPITOL, BUT HIS TEXT MESSAGES TELL THE STORY OF 3 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:10,477 TRUMP ALLIES DESPERATE TO STOP IT. 4 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:13,446 REPUBLICAN COMMITTEE MEMBER LIZ CHENEY LAST NIGHT READING 5 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,483 TEXTS MEADOWS RECEIVED AS THE ATTACK WAS UNDER WAY, INCLUDING 6 00:00:16,549 --> 00:00:29,963 REPEATED TEXTS FROM DONALD TRUMP JR., URGING ACTION. 7 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:31,965 >> MEMBERS OF CONGRESS, THE 8 00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:33,466 PRESS, AND OTHERS WROTE TO MARK MEADOWS AS THE ATTACK WAS UNDER 9 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:39,973 WAY. ONE TEXT MR. MEADOWS RECEIVED 10 00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:42,041 SAID: 11 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:53,987 AND ANOTHER FROM SOMEONE INSIDE THE CAPITOL. 12 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:57,991 WITH THE ELMO FIRE GIF ATTACHED. 13 00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:00,193 AS THE VIOLENCE CONTINUED, ONE 14 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:05,064 OF THE PRESIDENT'S SONS TEXTED MR. MEADOWS: 15 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,133 A FOURTH: 16 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:22,015 ANOTHER IN ALL CAPS: 17 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,016 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE 18 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:27,687 SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." TONIGHT: 19 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:32,025 LET'S TALK ABOUT TEXTS. PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: 20 00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:40,033 HENRY CAVILL AND JONATHAN GROFF 21 00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:41,267 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY 22 00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:45,038 HUMAN. 23 00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:49,042 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE EDSULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 24 00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:54,914 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 25 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,983 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Audience: STEPHEN! 26 00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:11,998 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Audience: STEPHEN! 27 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:21,441 STEPHEN! >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU 28 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:22,642 ALL. I LIKE YOUR CASUAL. 29 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:27,514 I LIKE YOUR CASUAL STYLE TONIGHT. 30 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:30,383 WELCOME, WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, IN HERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND 31 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:35,088 THE WORLD, MR. AND MRS. AMERICA AND ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA, 32 00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:44,564 WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 33 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,500 IT HAS BEEN LESS THAN A YEAR SINCE THE JANUARY 6VIOLENT 34 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:52,505 INSURRECTION ON CAPITOL HILL, AND I THINK WE'VE GOTTEN A 35 00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:59,679 LITTLE TOO COMFORTABLE WITH THE NEAR DEATH OF THE REPUBLIC. 36 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:03,650 WE MIGHT PAY MORE ATTENTION IF DEMOCRACY DIED ON A PELOTON. 37 00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:05,818 THANKFULLY, THANKFULLY, AND AGAINST THE WISHES OF NEARLY 38 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,120 EVERY REPUBLICAN IN CONGRESS, THE HOUSE SELECT COMMITTEE ON 39 00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:09,722 JANUARY 6 DOES EXIST. AND RIGHT NOW, THEIR CRITICAL 40 00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:19,432 INVESTIGATION ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 41 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:23,570 FOCUSED ON FORMER WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF AND MAN AT A BAR 42 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:26,573 FAILING TO LOOK SMOOTH WHILE TELLING A WOMAN TO CALL HIM, 43 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:36,149 MARK MEADOWS. ( LAUGHTER ) 44 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:39,252 AGREED TO COOPERATE AND THEN SURPRISE, SURPRISE, HE CHANGED 45 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,988 HIS MIND. SO YESTERDAY, THE COMMITTEE 46 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,258 RECOMMENDED HOLDING MEADOWS IN CONTEMPT OF CONGRESS. 47 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,728 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) A-BOOM! 48 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:58,938 LOOK HIM UP! THOUGH, I'M NOT SURE HOW 49 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,440 CONGRESS CAN PUNISH YOU, WHETHER IT'S A YEAR IN PRISON-- OR 50 00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:01,774 WORSE, A YEAR OF WATCHING CSPAN. REMEMBER THEIR SLOGAN: 51 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:05,778 CSPAN: IT'S TOILET WINE FOR YOUR EYES. 52 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:13,786 AFTER THE VOTE, APRES THE VOTE, MEADOWS WENT ON FOX NEWS TO 53 00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:17,123 EXPLAIN: >> THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME, HOLDING 54 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,791 ME IN CONTEMPT. IT'S NOT EVEN ABOUT MAKING THE 55 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,393 CAPITAL SAFER. WE SEE THAT BY SOME OF THE 56 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,961 SELECTIVE LEAKS THAT ARE GOING ON RIGHT NOW. 57 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,063 THIS IS ABOUT DONALD TRUMP AND ABOUT ACTUALLY GOING AFTER HIM 58 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,833 ONCE AGAIN, CONTINUING TO GO AFTER DONALD TRUMP. 59 00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:33,773 >> Stephen: NO ( BLEEP )! OF COURSE! 60 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:37,143 WHAT DO YOU THINK! ( APPLAUSE ) 61 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:49,789 GOING AFTER THE GUY WHO PLANNED IT! 62 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,457 REMEMBER WHAT WHAT BONNIE SAID AFTER THE FEDS SHOT UP HER CAR: 63 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:56,863 "WOW, THESE GUYS SEEM REALLY MAD AT CLYDE." 64 00:04:56,929 --> 00:05:00,533 THE BIG STORY HERE OF COURSE IS WHAT ELSE THE COMMITTEE REVEALED 65 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,868 LAST NIGHT. TURNS OUT, DURING THE RIOT, 66 00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:04,270 MEADOWS RECEIVED URGENT TEXT MESSAGES FROM MULTIPLE FOX NEWS 67 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,972 HOSTS AND THE PRESIDENT'S SON DON JR. WHO WROTE: 68 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:14,247 "WE NEED AN OVAL OFFICE ADDRESS. HE HAS TO LEAD NOW." 69 00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:17,650 OKAY, THAT REVEALS TWO THINGS ABOUT DON JR.: ONE, HE KNEW HIS 70 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:21,654 DAD WAS RESPONSIBLE AND FAILING TO LEAD. 71 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:23,956 AND, TWO, HE DOES NOT HAVE HIS FATHER'S CELL PHONE NUMBER 72 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:30,630 ( LAUGHTER ) CAN'T GIVE IT TO HIM! 73 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:33,566 CAN'T GIVE IT TO HIM. YOU CANNOT GIVE DON-- YOU CANNOT 74 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:38,271 GIVE DON THAT NUMBER. IT'S TOO RISKY. 75 00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:50,116 HE MIGHT GIVE IT TO ERIC. IN ONE TEXT, IN ONE TEXT, FOX 76 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,951 HOST LAURA INGRAHAM BEGGED, "MARK, THE PRESIDENT NEEDS TO 77 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,286 TELL THE PEOPLE IN THE CAPITOL TO GO HOME. 78 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:57,056 THIS IS HURTING ALL OF US. HE IS DESTROYING HIS LEGACY." 79 00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:58,324 SO, THE JANUARY 6 SCARD LAURA INGRAHAM. 80 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:08,901 AND KEEP IN MIND, HER SIDE GIG IS APPEARING IN YOUR BATHROOM 81 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,771 MIRROR IF YOU WHISPER MEDICARE FOR ALL" THREE TIMES. 82 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:12,772 NOW! THAT'S TRUE! 83 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,941 THAT'S TRUE! THAT'S A FACT! 84 00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:22,348 ( APPLAUSE ) OF COURSE, THAT WAS HER HONEST 85 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:26,719 REACTION OFF CAMERA. ON CAMERA, SHE KNEW THE 86 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,288 ASSIGNMENT. SHE KEPT UP THE LIES. 87 00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:30,656 >> EARLIER TODAY, THE CAPITOL WAS UNDER SIEGE BY PEOPLE WHO 88 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,025 CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS ANTITHETICAL TO THE MAGA 89 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,927 MOVEMENT. NOW, THEY WERE LIKELY NOT ALL 90 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:38,664 TRUMP SUPPORTERS, AND THERE ARE SOME REPORTS THAT ANTIFA 91 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:42,335 SYMPATHIZERS MAY HAVE BEEN SPRINKLED THROUGHOUT THE CROWD. 92 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:47,340 ( BOOING ). >> Stephen: OH, SURE, THAT 93 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:50,109 MAKES SENSE! THEY WEREN'T HIS SUPPORTERS. 94 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,611 THAT'S WHY, TO GET THEM TO STOP, YOU SENT ALL THOSE PANICKED 95 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:54,313 TEXTS TO THE MAN RESPONSIBLE: PRESIDENT BOB ANTIFA. 96 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:58,317 ( LAUGHTER ) INGRAHAM WASN'T THE ONLY FOX 97 00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:02,455 FRAUD FREAKING OUT. MEADOWS ALSO GOT TEXTS FROM A 98 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:05,424 BUNCH OF FOX STARS: BRIAN KILMEADE, SEAN HANNITY. 99 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,592 HE EVEN GOT AN INSTAGRAM POST FROM JUDGE JEANNINE'S BOX OF 100 00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:12,698 WINE. ( LAUGHTER ) 101 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:17,436 NEWS HOSTS PUSHED THE BIG ELECTION LIE FOR MONTHS LEADING 102 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:24,110 UP TO JANUARY 6, AND THEN WHEN THEIR OBEDIENT VIEWERS STORM THE 103 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,645 CAPITOL, THEY ACTED ALL SURPRISED. 104 00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,480 REMINDS ME OF CHARLES MANSON'S STATEMENT AFTER HE WAS ARRESTED: 105 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,415 "THEY DID WHAT?! I WAS KIDDING! 106 00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:31,050 HELTER SORRY." ( LAUGHTER ) 107 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:35,087 SPEAKING OF-- THAT'S HOW HE SPOKE. 108 00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:38,391 PEOPLE FORGET, THAT'S HOW HE TALKED. 109 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:39,859 SPEAKING OF THE INSURRECTION, WE'RE GETTING MORE NEWS ABOUT 110 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:43,396 THE PEOPLE WHO'VE ACTUALLY BEEN ARRESTED FOR IT. 111 00:07:43,462 --> 00:07:45,398 I'LL TELL YOU THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF 112 00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:49,669 "SEDITIONIST ROUNDUP." >> THE COW-PITAL WAS STORMED 113 00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:54,407 BY THE MOO KLUX KLAN. >> Stephen: TONIGHT IN THE 114 00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:56,375 SADDY-WAGON, WE'VE GOT RIOTING REALTOR AND STEPMOM TELLING YOU 115 00:07:56,442 --> 00:08:00,346 YOUR DAD JUST WENT MISSING, JENNA RYAN. 116 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:04,417 RYAN WAS FAMOUSLY THE INSURRECTIONIST WHO TOOK A 117 00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:07,119 PRIVATE PLANE TO THE INSURRECTION. 118 00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:09,422 SHE'S SCHEDULED TO GO TO JAIL IN THE NEW YEAR, 119 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:12,425 AND NOW SHE'S REPORTEDLY PREPARING FOR HER 60 DAYS BEHIND 120 00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:15,394 BARS BY LEARNING PRISON SLANG AND SPEAKING WITH PRISON 121 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:19,432 CONSULTANTS, EXPLAINING, "I MAY HAVE PEOPLE THAT TRY 122 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,434 TO RUN HUSTLES ON ME, TRY TO TRICK ME." 123 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,436 YEAH, YEAH, YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. 124 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:24,704 YOU MIGHT HAVE PEOPLE TRYING TO RUN HUSTLES ON YOU. FOR EXAMPLE, 125 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:30,443 ANYONE CALLING THEMSELVES A "PRISON CONSULTANT." 126 00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:32,278 IN AN INTERVIEW-- ( APPLAUSE ) 127 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:38,384 I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING. IN AN INTERVIEW, RYAN CLAIMED 128 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:42,388 SHE'S LEARNED A LOT ABOUT HOW TO ACT IN JAIL, SAYING, "I NOW KNOW 129 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:47,460 THAT THE GENERAL RULES ARE YOU DON'T TALK TO ANYBODY. 130 00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:52,064 BUT SINCE I'M ALSO A LIFE COACH, I CAN IMAGINE THAT I'LL END UP 131 00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:55,468 MAKING SOME PRETTY GENUINE CONNECTIONS WHILE I'M THERE." 132 00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:58,170 LIFE COACH? THAT MAKES SENSE. 133 00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:00,439 ALL THE BEST ADVICE I'VE EVER GOTTEN STARTS WITH, "AN INMATE 134 00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:01,674 FROM THE DALLAS CORRECTIONAL FACILITY WANTS YOU TO ACCEPT A 135 00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:09,215 COLLECT CALL." ( LAUGHTER ) 136 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:19,625 NUMBERS ARE, UNFORTUNATELY, ON THE RISE, AND SADLY, SOME PEOPLE 137 00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,260 ARE STILL REFUSING TO GET THE VACCINE, LIKE "GENERAL HOSPITAL" 138 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:24,363 ACTOR AND ABOVE-GROUND POOL SALESMAN WHO HITS ON YOUR WIFE, 139 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,732 INGO RADEMACHER. LAST MONTH, THIS RANDOM 140 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:30,603 COLLECTION OF CONSONANTS WAS FIRED BY ABC BECAUSE HE REFUSED 141 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:33,205 TO GET VACCINATED, AND LAST NIGHT, THE "GENERAL HOSPITAL" 142 00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:39,145 ACTOR SUED OVER THE VACCINE MANDATE. 143 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:45,217 SORRY, BUDDY, BUT YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW MEDICAL ADVICE. 144 00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:48,955 YOU'RE ON "GENERAL HOSPITAL," NOT "GENERAL STUFF I READ ON 145 00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:52,258 FACEBOOK." NOW, IF YOU'RE-- 146 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:57,229 ( APPLAUSE ) INGO'S WORK, CONGRATULATIONS, 147 00:09:57,296 --> 00:10:06,405 YOU HAVE A DAY JOB. BUT FOR THE LAST 25 YEARS, INGO 148 00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:07,673 HAS PLAYED THE CHARACTER JASPER "JAX" JACKS. 149 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:10,242 A NAME SO DUMB THEY JACKED IT TWICE. 150 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:17,483 ( LAUGHTER ) ABC's VACCINE MANDATE VIOLATES 151 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,586 HIS RELIGIOUS FREEDOM, EXPLAINING IN HIS LEGAL FILING: 152 00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:22,254 "I AM ENTITLED TO A RELIGIOUS EXEMPTION ON THE BASIS OF MY 153 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:27,560 DEEPLY AND SINCERELY HELD MORAL BELIEF THAT MY BODY IS ENDOWED 154 00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:32,098 BY MY CREATOR WITH NATURAL PROCESSES TO PROTECT ME." 155 00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:33,332 NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT INGO RADEMACHER IS BEING 156 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:37,236 RIDICULOUS. UNLESS... 157 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:45,211 THAT'S NOT INGO RADEMACHER. ( STING ) 158 00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:49,648 BROTHER, VIGO RADEMACHER, WHO JUST WOKE UP FROM A COMA! 159 00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:53,919 ( STING ) OF STAIRS BY... 160 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:57,223 THE WEALTHY HEIRESS, LADY ZANZIBAR! 161 00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:12,238 ( STING ) LONG-LOST SISTER, SANDRA 162 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:13,305 ( STING ) LONG-LOST SISTER, SANDRA 163 00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:16,308 GILBERTSON GILBERTSON. ( STING ) 164 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,610 LOVER! ( STING ) 165 00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:20,279 BECAUSE HE HAS... AMNESIA! 166 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,616 ( STING ) FINAL TWIST, NONE OF THAT IS 167 00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,017 TRUE, AND INGO RADEMACHER IS, IN REALITY, 168 00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:29,121 JUST A... STUPID DINGUS. 169 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,791 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S THE ONE. 170 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:42,635 >> Jon: THAT'S THE VIBE I WAS THINKING ABOUT. 171 00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:43,969 >> Stephen: BUT COVID'S GETTING BETTER IN SOME PLACES. 172 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:47,640 NEW ZEALAND PRIME MINISTER AND DEAR FRIEND OF THE SHOW, JACINDA 173 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:48,941 ARDERN, ANNOUNCED RECENTLY THAT UNDER THE COUNTRY'S COVID 174 00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,709 GUIDELINES, ORGIES OF 25 PEOPLE ARE GOOD TO GO IN NEW ZEALAND. 175 00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:06,992 ( APPLAUSE ) THE ORGY RULE CAME UP DURING AN 176 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,794 INTERVIEW WHERE PRIME MINISTER ARDERN WAS DISCUSSING HOW TINDER 177 00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:14,667 FITS INTO NEW ZEALAND'S COLOR-CODED TRAFFIC LIGHT COVID 178 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:18,104 WARNING SYSTEM. >> I KNEW THIS MOMENT WOULD 179 00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:21,674 COME. BUT I CAN CONFIRM THAT TINDER 180 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,611 LIAISONS HAVE REOPENED. (LAUGHS) 181 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:26,912 >> GREAT NEWS FOR MY FRIEND. >> IT'S NOT-- IT'S NOT STRICTLY 182 00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:31,684 EMBEDDED IN THE TRAFFIC LIGHT SYSTEM BUT, UM, IT IS A GIVEN, 183 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:36,689 UP TO 25 ACTUALLY, IN A RED AREA. 184 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,923 >> Stephen: I'M GUESSING IF YOU HAVE 25 PEOPLE AT A SEX PARTY, 185 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,759 THERE'S GONNA BE MORE THAN A FEW RED AREAS. 186 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:44,763 ( LAUGHTER ) THERE ARE STILL-- 187 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:50,703 ( APPLAUSE ) PLACE BUT REPORTEDLY, ORGY 188 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,305 GROUPS IN NEW ZEALAND ARE REJOIG. 189 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:57,042 I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE FOOTAGE OF THAT. 190 00:12:57,109 --> 00:13:12,057 ( "LORD OF THE RINGS" THEME ( LAUGHTER ) 191 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:20,366 ( "LORD OF THE RINGS" THEME ( LAUGHTER ) 192 00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:22,201 SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. MY GUESTS ARE HENRY CAVILL AND 193 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,035 JONATHAN GROFF. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, 194 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:29,141 "MEANWHILE." STICK AROUND! 195 00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:09,782 ( APPLAUSE ) WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW! 196 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:16,088 GIVE IT UP FOR JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN RIGHT THERE! 197 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:30,202 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GLAD YOU'RE FEELING GOOD. 198 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:35,808 JON, I'M HIGH AS A KITE, AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY. 199 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:39,578 TWO REASONS. ONE IS OUR TWO GUESTS TONIGHT, 200 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:44,717 HENRY CAVILL AND JONATHAN GROFF, TWO EXTRAORDINARY-- 201 00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:47,753 ( APPLAUSE ) EXTRAORDINARILY ATTRACTIVE MEN 202 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:51,123 IN THEIR OWN RIGHT. IN THEIR OWN WAYS. 203 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:56,295 THE PIERCING BABY BLUES. I'M GOING TO LOSE MYSELF IN THE 204 00:14:56,362 --> 00:15:00,866 LIPID POOL OF THESE GUYS' EYES. SEND IN A SCUBA TEAM, FROG MEN 205 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:04,203 AFTER ME TO FISH ME OUT OF THESE GUYS' EYES. 206 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:07,573 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. I'M GOING TO GET THE BENDS 207 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,942 COMING UP OUT OF HENRY CAVILL'S EYES TONIGHT. 208 00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,278 THE SECOND IS I'M DONE WITH MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. 209 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:15,614 >> Jon: OH, YOU'RE DONE. >> Stephen: I'M DONE, BABY, 210 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,083 DONE! I HOPE PEOPLE LIKE IT BECAUSE 211 00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,285 DADDY'S DONE! >> Jon: WOW. 212 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:22,855 >> Stephen: HAVE YOU FINISHED YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING? 213 00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,823 >> Jon: NO, BUT IS THAT EARLY FOR YOU? 214 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,825 >> OH, YES. >> Jon: IT'S EARLY. 215 00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,160 >> Stephen: I'M 100% AND I'M SURE I'VE FORGOTTEN SOMEBODY. 216 00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,663 I'M SURE AT DECEMBER 24 AT 5 :00 I'M GOING TO BE HAULING ASS DOWN 217 00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:33,866 THE HIGHWAY TOWARD, LIKE, A HARDWARE STORE TO BUY MY 218 00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:37,870 FATHER-IN-LAW A WRENCH. LET'S CUT THAT OUT BECAUSE I 219 00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:42,508 DON'T WANT HIM TO KNOW I'M GETTING HIM A WRENCH. 220 00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:47,880 YOU KNOW, FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW, AND I HOPE YOU DO... 221 00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,648 YOU KNOW I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME RIGHT OVER THERE, CAREFULLY 222 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:53,886 UNWRAPPING THE DAY'S NEWS, PLACING THE FINEST, MOST TOPICAL 223 00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:55,020 ORNAMENTS UPON THE HAND-CUT DOUGLAS FIR OF THE DAY'S TOP 224 00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:58,891 STORIES, SPRINKLING BIODEGRADABLE TINSEL ON THE 225 00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:01,460 BOUGHS WITH PRECISION AND DECADES OF TRAINING THAT COMES 226 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:05,264 ACROSS AS EFFORTLESS, CHECKING EACH JOKE BULB FOR OPTIMAL 227 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,666 TWINKLE, AND FINALLY TOPPING IT OFF WITH A FAMILY HEIRLOOM STAR 228 00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:12,538 TO CREATE THE MAGICAL CHRISTMAS MEMORY THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. 229 00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:14,306 BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, I BREAK INTO A HOME DEPOT, HUFF 230 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:19,878 A BOTTLE OF GOO GONE, STEAL A PALLET OF TWO BY FOURS, A PILE 231 00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,213 OF RUSTY NAILS, A BUCKET OF DISCONTINUED FAUCET PARTS, SLAP 232 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:26,285 THEM TOGETHER WITH RECEIPT PAPER AND INDUSTRIAL ADHESIVE, PUT IT 233 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:27,753 OUTSIDE THE LIVING ROOM WINDOW OF THE RETIREMENT HOME I WAS 234 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,254 KICKED OUT OF FOR A VERY GOOD REASON, AND THROW IN A COUPLE 235 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:33,258 MANNEQUINS STOLEN FROM A BURNED OUT FOREVER 21 TO CREATE THE 236 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:37,262 HELLSCAPE CRECHE OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: 237 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:42,201 "MEANWHILE"! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 238 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:53,245 A STORY THAT HEALS A NATION. ( APPLAUSE ) 239 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:57,316 WRITER, GERALDINE DERUITER HAS GONE VIRAL AFTER WRITING A 240 00:16:57,383 --> 00:17:02,354 REVIEW OF WHAT SHE CALLS THE WORST MICHELIN STARRED 241 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:13,332 RESTAURANT EVER, THAT SERVED 27 COURSES, INCLUDING SLIVERS OF 242 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:14,767 EDIBLE PAPER, SHOTS OF VINEGAR, AND THIS ABOMINATION: THIS, 243 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:15,968 CITRUS FOAM SERVED IN A PLASTER CAST IN THE SHAPE OF THE CHEF'S 244 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,971 MOUTH. KEEP IN MIND, IT WAS NO SPOON, 245 00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:22,975 NO STRAW, AND DINERS WERE TOLD TO KISS THE MOUTH OF THE RAMEKIN 246 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:28,447 IN ORDER TO SLURP OUT THE FOAM. I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD IT TASTES. 247 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,015 I'M NOT SURE IF I WANT TO IMMEDIATELY START TONGUING DOWN 248 00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:34,987 ON ONE OF MY DISHES. I REALLY FEEL LIKE I SHOULD AT 249 00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:38,190 LEAST BUY MY DINNER DINNER FIRST. 250 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:42,995 MEANWHILE, VAPING HAS BEEN LINKED TO ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. 251 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,630 THAT COMES AS A REAL SHOCK FOR THOSE OF US WHO ASSUMED BLUE 252 00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:45,831 RASPBERRY COTTON-CANDY- FLAVORED SMOKE SUCKED OUT OF A THUMB 253 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,634 DRIVE WOULD BE GOOD FOR YOUR PENIS. 254 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:58,844 ( LAUGHTER ) WHO KNEW? 255 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:03,048 MEANWHILE, BAKERS IN MASSACHUSETTS HAVE MADE THE 256 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:06,351 WORLD'S LARGEST POT BROWNIE THAT WEIGHS 850 POUNDS AND IS FOR 257 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:15,060 SALE. HOWEVER, EXPERIENCED EDIBLE 258 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:22,100 USERS RECOMMEND JUST EATING JUST 200 POUNDS, WAITING TWO HOURS TO 259 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,368 SEE HOW YOU FEEL. MEANWHILE 260 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:28,307 ♪ IT'S THE HOLIDAY SEASON ♪ AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 261 00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:29,708 CHRISTMAS MOVIES. WE ALL KNOW THE OLD CLASSICS 262 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,043 LIKE, "MIRACLE ON 34th STREET," "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE," AND 263 00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:39,051 "HOME ALONE." BUT THIS YEAR, VH1 IS PUTTING 264 00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:44,756 OUT A NEW CROP OF "RAUNCHY AS HELL" CHRISTMAS MOVIES. 265 00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:46,492 THE NEW HORNY HOLIDAY FLICKS INCLUDE, "ADVENTURES IN 266 00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:47,793 CHRISTMASING," IN WHICH A MAN BRAGS ABOUT EATING BULL 267 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,462 TESTICLES TO INCREASE HIS SEXUAL APPETITE. 268 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:51,797 and "LET'S GET MERRIED," WHICH FEATURES A TIGHT GROUP OF 269 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,266 GIRLFRIENDS DEBATING THE DYNAMICS OF TOSSING THE SALAD. 270 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,703 and IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, IT'S A LITTLE LIKE WHAT 271 00:18:57,769 --> 00:19:00,105 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO TO THIS RAMEKIN. 272 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:15,120 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 273 00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:16,255 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 274 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,523 STOLE CHRISTMAS," FEATURING A GROUP OF DRAG QUEENS AND 275 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:19,825 PROCLAIMED SLUTS DRESSED AS DOMINATRIXES, SINGING AN X -RATED 276 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:25,097 VERSION OF "THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS." 277 00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:26,398 OKAY, BUT "THE 12 DAYS OF 278 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:29,101 CHRISTMAS" IS ALREADY X -RATED. YOU GOT EIGHT MAIDS A-MILKIN', 279 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:32,104 ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING, AND I'M GUESSING THOSE FIVE GOLDEN RINGS 280 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:36,108 DON'T ALL GO ON YOUR FINGERS. I FIND THIS NEW TREND 281 00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:40,112 DISTURBING. I FIND THIS HIGHLY DISTURBING, 282 00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:43,115 BECAUSE I'M NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OFF IT. 283 00:19:43,181 --> 00:19:47,119 WHICH IS WHY I, IN CONJUNCTION WITH PARAMOUNT+, HAVE PRODUCED 284 00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:49,488 A NEW SLATE OF EVEN NASTIER HOLIDAY SOON-TO-BE CLASSICS THAT 285 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:54,126 I'M CALLING... ( 70'S PORNO MUSC ) 286 00:19:54,192 --> 00:20:00,966 X-MAS." >> I'M A HO, HO, HO! 287 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,903 >> Stephen: OUR HOST OF HOLIDAY PROGRAMMING IS SO SHOCKING THAT, 288 00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,305 JUST LIKE GEORGE BAILEY, YOU'LL WISH YOU'D NEVER BEEN BORN. 289 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:11,376 WE'RE TALKING TITILLATING TITLES LIKE: 290 00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:13,312 "HUMP THE HERALD ANGELS SING," "OHHHHHHHHH CHRISTMAS TREE," 291 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:20,352 "I SAW MOMMY DOING SANTA CLAUS," "THE POLE-HER EXPRESS," 292 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:24,957 "MIRACLE ON 69TH STREET," "SCREWDOLPH THE RED-NIPPED 293 00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:26,224 PAINDEER," AND, OF COURSE, "HERE COMES 294 00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:33,198 SANTA CLAUS." IT'S ALL AVAILABLE-- 295 00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:39,171 ( APPLAUSE ) PARAMOUNT+: A MOUNTAIN OF 296 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,038 MOUNTING. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HENRY 297 00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:42,107 CAVILL. 298 00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:16,208 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST AS SUPER -MAN. 299 00:21:16,274 --> 00:21:17,409 HE NOW STARS IN, "THE WITCHER," WHICH RETURNS FOR SEASON TWO 300 00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:21,213 THIS FRIDAY. PLEASE WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW, 301 00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:23,248 HENRY CAVILL! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 302 00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:38,196 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> THANK YOU. 303 00:21:38,263 --> 00:21:46,571 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> THANK YOU. 304 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:48,707 >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. SO NICE TO MEET YOU. 305 00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:50,442 WE'VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO TALK BEFORE. 306 00:21:50,509 --> 00:21:53,245 >> WE HAVE NOT, BUT WE'RE HERE NOW. 307 00:21:53,311 --> 00:21:55,147 >> Stephen: WHAT? >> WE'RE HERE NOW. 308 00:21:55,213 --> 00:21:57,716 >> Stephen: YES, WE ARE, WE ARE HERE NOW. 309 00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:02,254 I HAVE TO TELL YOU, IT STILL FREAKS ME OUT WHEN I HEAR YOUR 310 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,290 ACCENT, BECAUSE YOU'RE SO BELIEVABLY AN AMERICAN TO ME. 311 00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:10,162 YOU'RE THE MOST AMERICAN OF ALL. YOU'RE SUPER MAN. 312 00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:13,632 >> THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE THAT. THAT WAS NOT ALWAYS YOUR 313 00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:15,901 SENTIMENT WAS IT. >> Stephen: ON THE OLD SHOW, I 314 00:22:15,967 --> 00:22:19,304 BELIEVE I MADE FUN OF THE FACT YOU WERE CAST AS A SUPER MAN, 315 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:23,942 AND I SAID, "WE WANT A SUPER MAN, NOT A SMASHING GHENT." 316 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,912 I WANTED TO ASK A QUESTION, AND THIS IS A SINCERE QUESTION, I 317 00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:31,483 LOVE THE LOOK OF YOUR SUPER MAN, AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW DO YOU 318 00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:35,420 FEEL ABOUT THE FACT HE DOESN'T HAVE THE BIG RED UNDERWEAR? 319 00:22:35,487 --> 00:22:37,289 BECAUSE HE LOOKS A LITTLE NAKED TO ME. 320 00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:41,293 >> RIGHT, RIGHT. >> WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 321 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:46,665 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT WAS A BIT OF A HANGOVER FROM 322 00:22:46,732 --> 00:22:48,400 STRONGMAN FROM 20s OR SOMETHING. 323 00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:51,069 AND I THOUGHT-- I THOUGHT THAT ACTUALLY IT HAD POTENTIAL TO 324 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:54,372 WORK. I MEAN, MAYBE NOT EXACTLY THOSE 325 00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:56,041 ONES. >> Stephen: RIGHT, RIGHT. 326 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,677 ADMITTEDLY HIS HIMSELF ARE WIDER THAN HIS SHOULDERS. 327 00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:01,513 BUT I KIND OF MISS THE GRANDMA PANTIES. 328 00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:03,281 >> YEAH... >> Stephen: ON SUPERMAN. 329 00:23:03,348 --> 00:23:07,452 >> I REALLY LOVED MY SUIT. I THOUGHT IT WAS-- I THOUGHT IT 330 00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:09,888 WAS PRETTY COOL. HOWEVER, IF IT WERE TO HAPPEN 331 00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:14,326 AGAIN, I WOULD DEFINITELY BE OPEN TO THE IDEA OF ADDING THE 332 00:23:14,392 --> 00:23:16,428 TRUNKS IN SOME WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. 333 00:23:16,495 --> 00:23:19,064 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, MAYBE SOMETHING TASTEFUL LIKE A RED 334 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:22,100 THONG OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. >> YEAH, YEAH, JUST IN THE BACK. 335 00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:28,140 >> Stephen: RED THONG SOUNDS LIKE THE NAME OF A VILLAIN FROM 336 00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:29,941 D.C. "I'M THE RED THONG!" 337 00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:34,079 NOW, YOU ALSO-- AND THIS IS A TRUE, TRUE NERD CRED-- IS THAT 338 00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:38,283 YOU BUILT YOUR OWN GAMING P .C. >> I DID. 339 00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:39,651 >> Stephen: OKAY, AND-- ( APPLAUSE ) 340 00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:42,721 >> RIGHT. >> Stephen: I'M NOT A GAMER. 341 00:23:42,788 --> 00:23:46,558 WHAT'S THE THE VALUE OF BUILDING YOUR OWN GAMING P .C. 342 00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:48,927 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? >> IT'S KIND OF-- IT'S JUST THE 343 00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:50,428 EXPERIENCE. YOU ARE BUILDING SOMETHING WHICH 344 00:23:50,495 --> 00:23:54,633 IS ENTIRELY CUSTOM TO YOU. IT'S THE DOING ALL THE RESEARCH, 345 00:23:54,699 --> 00:23:58,236 LEARNING HOW TO PUT IT TOGETHER, GETTING OVER THE TERROR OF THESE 346 00:23:58,303 --> 00:24:01,606 EXPENSIVE COMPONENTS ARRIVING IN THE MAIL, AND YOU JUST PLUGGING 347 00:24:01,673 --> 00:24:05,110 THEM IN LIKE ADULT LEGO. AND THEM HOPING YOU DON'T BLOW 348 00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:08,246 UP THE HOUSE WHEN YOU PRESS THE "POWER" BUTTON. 349 00:24:08,313 --> 00:24:10,982 AND IT'S REALLY, REALLY RWARDING WHEN YOU DON'T BLOW UP 350 00:24:11,049 --> 00:24:12,450 THE HOUSE. >> Stephen: SURE, SURE. 351 00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:15,187 AND THIS THING HAS THE CAPABILITIES THAT YOU NEED-- 352 00:24:15,253 --> 00:24:17,289 >> THAT YOU WANT SPECIFICALLY FOR YOUR NEEDS, WHETHER IT'S 353 00:24:17,355 --> 00:24:22,727 EDITING VIDEOS, WHETHER IT'S PLAYING P.C. GAMES OR BOTH, 354 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:25,797 IT'S-- IT'S TAILORED TO YOU AND THAT MAKES IT SPECIAL. 355 00:24:25,864 --> 00:24:28,867 >> Stephen: WE WENT SO FAR AS MAKING A VIDEO OF YOU PUTTING 356 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:34,172 YOUR P.C. GAMING TOGETHER ♪ YOU'RE ALL I'M LIVING FOR YOUR 357 00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:37,609 LOVE I'LL KEEP FOREVERMORE ♪ YOU'RE THE FIRST 358 00:24:37,676 --> 00:24:45,417 YOU'RE THE LAST MY EVERYTHING ♪ >> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT-- 359 00:24:45,483 --> 00:24:49,221 WHAT WAS THAT EXPERIENCE LIKE? DO YOU GET-- LIKE, WHERE DO THE 360 00:24:49,287 --> 00:24:54,392 INTRODUCTIONS COME FROM? OR ARE YOU JUST LIKE ASKING 361 00:24:54,459 --> 00:24:56,962 FRIENDS? >> YOUTUBE VIDEOS. 362 00:24:57,028 --> 00:25:01,466 THERE IS A GUY I WATCHED A LOT OF YOUTUBE VIDEOS ON AND HE WAS 363 00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:02,801 FANTASTIC. HE WAS REALLY INFORMATIVE ABOUT 364 00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:06,304 HOW TO DO ALL THIS STUFF. AND THEN IT'S JUST READING THE 365 00:25:06,371 --> 00:25:07,839 MANUAL. WHICH A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T DO, 366 00:25:07,906 --> 00:25:11,443 AND THEY END UP ASKING QUESTIONS ONLINE, AND PEOPLE ALWAYS 367 00:25:11,509 --> 00:25:13,945 RSPOND WITH R.T.F.M., AND THAT'S IT. 368 00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:17,349 >> Stephen: WHICH IS? >> READ THE... MANUAL. 369 00:25:17,415 --> 00:25:20,919 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A BRIEF BREAK, BUT, PLUZ, YOU 370 00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:22,988 STAY, HENRY CAVILL, AND YOU STAY RIGHT THERE. 371 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:25,991 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF HIM. 372 00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:27,058 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 373 00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:43,475 ( APPLAUSE ) WE'RE BACK HERE WITH HENRY 374 00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:45,043 CAVILL. LET'S TALK ABOUT "THE WITCHER" 375 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:46,845 FOR A SECOND. FOR THOSE OF THE PEOPLE OUT 376 00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:52,951 THERE WHO ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE GERALT AND HIS WITCHERRING, 377 00:25:53,018 --> 00:25:58,823 WHAT'S A WITCHER? >> A WITCHER IS A MUTRAITED 378 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,692 HUMAN. THEY ARE TAKEN IN AS CHILDREN, 379 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:08,400 AND THEY ARE FED ALL SORTS OF HERBS AND MAGICAL PROCESSES, 380 00:26:08,466 --> 00:26:11,836 CHEMICAL PROCESS AND THEY BECOME FASTER, STRONGER, AND ABLE TO 381 00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:15,206 TAKE THESE PORSCHEIENTS WHICH WOULD KILL A NORMAL MAN. 382 00:26:15,273 --> 00:26:17,309 AND THEY ARE THEN TRAINED TO HUNT MONSTERS. 383 00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:21,079 AND THEN THEY GO OUT THERE, AS MERCENARIES, AND HUNT MONSTERS 384 00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:22,747 FOR MONEY. >> Stephen: ONE OF MY KIDS HAS 385 00:26:22,814 --> 00:26:25,450 A QUESTION FOR YOU, WHICH IS IF YOU COULD TAKE ANY OF THE 386 00:26:25,517 --> 00:26:29,754 PORSCHE ENTS THAT THE WITCHER HAS, AS YOU, HENRY CAVILL, WHAT 387 00:26:29,821 --> 00:26:33,658 WOULD YOU TAKE? WOULD YOU TAKE ANY OF THE 388 00:26:33,725 --> 00:26:34,759 POTIENTS? >> NONE OF THEM. 389 00:26:34,826 --> 00:26:38,930 >> Stephen: NO? >> DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? 390 00:26:38,997 --> 00:26:40,131 TOXIC. IT WOULD KILL ME. 391 00:26:40,198 --> 00:26:42,834 >> Stephen: OKAY. BUT IF-- BUT THEY ALSO GIVE YOU 392 00:26:42,901 --> 00:26:46,404 POWERS, RIGHT? >> YES, OKAY THERE ARE DIFFERENT 393 00:26:46,471 --> 00:26:47,605 THINGS, THERE ARE DIFFERENT THINGS, YES. 394 00:26:47,672 --> 00:26:51,042 WHEN I PLAY THE GAMES, THE POTIENTS ARE A GAME THING. 395 00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:54,279 THERE IS A REFERENCE TO POTIENTS IN THE BOOKS AS WELL. 396 00:26:54,346 --> 00:26:57,148 I WOULD SAY FROM THE GAMES THERE WAS ONE POTIENT WHICH ALLOWED 397 00:26:57,215 --> 00:27:00,986 YOU TO BREATHE UNDER WATER, WHICH SEEMED PRETTY COOL. 398 00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:03,788 I LOVE SCUBA DIVING MYSELF, SO IT WOULD BE PRETTY COOL TO DO 399 00:27:03,855 --> 00:27:05,357 THAT WITHOUT THE GEAR. >> Stephen: YEAH. 400 00:27:05,423 --> 00:27:06,958 >> YEAH. ( LAUGHTER ). 401 00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:08,026 NICE. >> YEAH. 402 00:27:08,093 --> 00:27:09,661 >> Stephen: WHERE DO YOU LIKE TO GO? 403 00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:12,230 WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO SCUBA DIVE? 404 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:17,102 >> I HAVE SCUBA DIVED IN FLORIDA AND FIJI-- FIJI WAS AMAZING. 405 00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:19,871 >> Stephen: I WOULD SAY SO. >> ESPECIALLY DURING NIGHT DIVES 406 00:27:19,938 --> 00:27:22,507 OUT THERE AND STUFF. >> Stephen: NIGHT DIVES. 407 00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:25,043 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT AFRAID 408 00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:25,744 OF THE SHARKIE-POOING NIBBLING ON YOUR TOES WILL AT NIGHT? 409 00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:27,879 >> 100%. >> DID YOU SEE THEM? 410 00:27:27,946 --> 00:27:30,615 >> THE TRICK IS YOU DIVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND SO -- 411 00:27:30,682 --> 00:27:33,385 >> Stephen: HOPEFULLY THEY'LL EATING THE OTHER PEOPLE AND NOT 412 00:27:33,451 --> 00:27:35,053 YOU. >> YOU'RE ON TO SOMETHING. 413 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,288 BECAUSE WHAT YOU DO IS-- BECAUSE YOU ALL HAVE THESE VARIOUS 414 00:27:37,355 --> 00:27:41,292 LIGHTS, WHETHER IT'S HEADLIGHTS OR A FLASHLIGHT YOU HOLD IN YOUR 415 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,228 HAND. YOU CREATE THIS ENORMOUS POOL OF 416 00:27:43,294 --> 00:27:47,499 LIGHT AROUND YOU ALL. SO IF YOU SWITCH YOUR LIGHT OFF 417 00:27:47,565 --> 00:27:51,136 AND SWIM BEHIND EVERYONE ELSE, THE SHARKS CAN ALL SEE THEM, BUT 418 00:27:51,202 --> 00:27:54,639 THEY CAN'T SEE YOU. ( LAUGHTER ) 419 00:27:54,706 --> 00:28:00,378 BECAUSE YOU DO SEE SHARKS ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE LIGHT. 420 00:28:00,445 --> 00:28:04,349 YOU SEE THESE WHITE, GHOSTLY BODIES IN THE WATER AND THEY 421 00:28:04,416 --> 00:28:05,650 DISAPPEARA AGAIN. THAT'S REALLY BAD. 422 00:28:05,717 --> 00:28:07,719 WHEN YOU CAN'T SEE THEM, IT'S TERRIFYING. 423 00:28:07,786 --> 00:28:10,789 >> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT, "THIS IS A BAD IDEA"? 424 00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:14,859 >> I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A REALLY BAD SCENARIO YET, BUT IT 425 00:28:14,926 --> 00:28:16,528 HAPPENS. SCARY STUFF HAPPENS DOWN THERE. 426 00:28:16,594 --> 00:28:18,430 >> Stephen: SURE, SURE. YEAH, NO. 427 00:28:18,496 --> 00:28:20,698 >> YOU SHOULD TRY IT? HAVE YOU TRIED IT? 428 00:28:20,765 --> 00:28:22,734 >> I'VE DIEFD DURING THE DAY AND THAT'S LOVELY. 429 00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:25,403 >> IT'S AMAZING LOOKING UP AND SEEING THE MOON THROUGH THE TOP 430 00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:26,571 OF THE WATER. IT IS EXTRAORDINARY. 431 00:28:26,638 --> 00:28:29,407 I RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE. >> Stephen: WOW. 432 00:28:29,474 --> 00:28:32,343 AND FIJI JUST IN GENERAL, I'M ASSUMING, IS ALSO PRETTY NICE. 433 00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:35,613 >> IT IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL UP ON THE THERE. 434 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,583 REALLY, REALLY TRULY STUNNING. >> Stephen: NOW, COMPARE FIJI 435 00:28:38,650 --> 00:28:40,118 AND FLORIDA. ( LAUGHTER ) 436 00:28:40,185 --> 00:28:45,156 FIJI, AND THEN WE WENT TO FIJI REAL QUICK WITH YOUR STORY. 437 00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:49,360 >> THE DIVING IS ACTUALLY SURPRISINGLY GOOD DOWN THERE. 438 00:28:49,427 --> 00:28:50,695 >> >> Stephen: AND THERE ARE 439 00:28:50,762 --> 00:28:52,630 THINGS TO SCARE OW LAND DOWN THERE, TOO. 440 00:28:52,697 --> 00:28:56,234 >> SLEUTH. >> Stephen: IT'S FLORIDIANS. 441 00:28:56,301 --> 00:28:58,770 DEFINITELY DON'T GO OUT AT NIGHT. 442 00:28:58,837 --> 00:29:01,606 DON'T GO DAY DIVING IN FLORIDA. WE HAVE A CLIP FROM THE NEW 443 00:29:01,673 --> 00:29:03,475 SEASON. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SEE HERE? 444 00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:07,679 IT'S YOU WITH A BIG SWORD. >> IT'S ME WITH A BIG SWORD, AND 445 00:29:07,745 --> 00:29:10,849 THAT PRETTY MUCH COVERS ANY SCENE WE'RE GOING TO SEE. 446 00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:12,917 >> Stephen: JIM, SWORD ME. 447 00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:59,864 >> Stephen: DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. LOOKS BAD FOR GERALT. 448 00:29:59,931 --> 00:30:02,033 >> REALLY BAD. >> Stephen: HEENERY, IT'S 449 00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:06,504 LOVELY TO ME YOU. SEASON TWO OF "THE WITCHER" 450 00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:09,107 PREMIERS THIS FRIDAY ON NETFLIX. HENRY CAVILL, EVERYBODY! 451 00:30:09,174 --> 00:30:11,910 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JONATHAN GROFF. 452 00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:12,977 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 453 00:30:47,845 --> 00:30:53,785 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACTOR YOU 454 00:30:53,851 --> 00:30:57,488 KNOW FROM "MINDHUNTER," "FROZEN," AND "HAMILTON." 455 00:30:57,555 --> 00:30:59,557 NOW HE'S IN "THE MATRIX: RESURRECTIONS." 456 00:31:29,887 --> 00:31:30,822 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK 457 00:31:30,888 --> 00:31:35,159 TO THE LATE SHOW, JONATHAN GROFF ♪ ♪ ♪ 458 00:31:35,226 --> 00:31:50,108 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 459 00:31:50,174 --> 00:31:54,812 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 460 00:31:54,879 --> 00:32:00,852 GROFF. >> HELLO, HELLO. 461 00:32:00,918 --> 00:32:02,420 >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 462 00:32:02,487 --> 00:32:04,856 GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. >> IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 463 00:32:04,922 --> 00:32:06,958 THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME BACK. >> Stephen: HERE'S THE THING, 464 00:32:07,025 --> 00:32:09,627 I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE BECAUSE I'M SUPER COOL AND SPECIAL. 465 00:32:09,694 --> 00:32:14,999 AND CAN I-- CAN WE-- WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT WHO YOU ARE? 466 00:32:15,066 --> 00:32:20,872 LIKE, WHAT CAN I REVEAL? CAN WE REVEAL ANYTHING, OR-- 467 00:32:20,938 --> 00:32:23,508 YOU'RE A BADDIE. >> YOU COULD SAY THAT. 468 00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:25,576 >> Stephen: IS THAT FAIR? YOU'RE A BADDIE. 469 00:32:25,643 --> 00:32:27,011 OTHER THAN THAT, WE SHOULD JUST LEAVE IT? 470 00:32:27,078 --> 00:32:30,448 >> I MEAN MAYBE... I DON'T KNOW THE RULES. 471 00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:35,253 I DON'T KNOW THE RULES. >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW, 472 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,089 EITHER. >> BUT I HAVE AN INTERACTION 473 00:32:38,156 --> 00:32:41,659 WITH KEANU. >> Stephen: THAT IS VERY 474 00:32:41,726 --> 00:32:45,763 EVOCATIVE OF SOME OF THE OTHER SCENES WE SAW IN THE ORIGINAL 475 00:32:45,830 --> 00:32:47,732 "MATRIX" TRILOGY. I'LL LEAVE THAT EXPLANATION 476 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:48,733 RIGHT THERE. >> OKAY, PERFECT. 477 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,668 >> Stephen: IT CAME OUT IN 1999, THE ORIGINAL. 478 00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:53,905 YOU WERE QUITE YOUNG AT THAT POINT, ONE IMAGINES. 479 00:32:53,971 --> 00:32:58,409 WERE YOU A FAN? WHEN DID-- WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST 480 00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:00,845 ENCOUNTER WITH THE "MATRIX" MOVIES? 481 00:33:00,912 --> 00:33:02,714 >> I WAS 14 WHEN IT CAME TO THE THEATERS. 482 00:33:02,780 --> 00:33:04,782 AND A COUPLE OF-- SO I DIDN'T SEE IT THEN. 483 00:33:04,849 --> 00:33:07,552 >> Stephen: BECAUSE? >> IT WAS RATED "R," AND I 484 00:33:07,618 --> 00:33:09,454 WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO. >> Stephen: I FORGOT. 485 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:10,955 I FORGOT. IT'S GOT THE SEXY. 486 00:33:11,022 --> 00:33:14,158 >> YEAH, YEAH, EXACTLY. SO THEN A COUPLE OF YEARS LATER, 487 00:33:14,225 --> 00:33:19,831 I WENT WITH MY FRIENDS TO THE BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO, BLOCKBUSTER 488 00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:20,765 VIDEO. >> Stephen: I REMEMBER THAT. 489 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,333 >> REMEMBER THAT. >> Stephen: SURE, THAT WAS 490 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,334 FUN. >> THAT WAS FUN. 491 00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:26,137 >> Stephen: I MISS THAT. >> AND WE GOT THE VHS. 492 00:33:26,204 --> 00:33:30,274 >> Stephen: SURE, REWIND. >> EXACTLY. 493 00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:32,643 THOSE EMPTY BOXES AND YOU WOULD SEE IF THE MOVIE THERE WAS OR 494 00:33:32,710 --> 00:33:35,012 NOT. AND WE WERE VERY EXCITED "THE 495 00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:37,648 MATRIX" WAS THERE AND WE HAD OUR MINDS BLOWN. 496 00:33:37,715 --> 00:33:40,952 >> Stephen: WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO AUDITION? 497 00:33:41,018 --> 00:33:46,958 YOU HAVE SEEN THIS MOVIE, IT'S A SEMINAL MOVIE, IT'S SORT OF 498 00:33:47,024 --> 00:33:50,428 CHANGED SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES IN KIND OF A PROFOUND AWAY WAY. 499 00:33:50,495 --> 00:33:53,998 IT'S A BRILLIANT FILM. WHAT'S IT LIKE TO GO AUDITION TO 500 00:33:54,065 --> 00:33:56,167 BE PART OF THE CONTINUATION OF THIS INCREDIBLE SERIES? 501 00:33:56,234 --> 00:34:00,972 >> I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN I WENT-- SO CARMEN CUBA, WHO IS THE 502 00:34:01,038 --> 00:34:02,807 AMAZING -- >> Stephen: YOU WENT IN TO 503 00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:05,643 AUDITION NOT KNOWING ANYTHING? >> SHE TEXTED ME AND SHE SAID, 504 00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:08,613 "THERE'S A VERY EXCITING MOVIE WITH A VERY EXCITING DIRECTOR. 505 00:34:08,679 --> 00:34:14,452 WILL YOU FLY TO SAN FRANCISCO AND MEET SAID DIRECTOR ON YOUR 506 00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:19,891 DAY OFF FROM 'LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS'." 507 00:34:19,957 --> 00:34:25,630 I SAID, YES, AND THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS LANA WACHOWSKI AND IT 508 00:34:25,696 --> 00:34:28,166 WAS "THE MATRIX." AND I THOUGHT I'M NOT GETTING 509 00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:33,538 THERE, BUT I WOULD LOVE TO MEET LANA, I'M A HUGE FAN AND WENT TO 510 00:34:33,604 --> 00:34:36,007 SAN FRANCISCO. >> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT THE 511 00:34:36,073 --> 00:34:37,442 TRAINING? DID THEY JACK IT INTO THE BACK 512 00:34:37,508 --> 00:34:40,845 OF YOUR HEAD AND FEED IT IN, BECAUSE THEY CAN DO THAT NOW. 513 00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:44,315 THEY CAN DO THAT. ELON MUSK IS WORKING ON THAT 514 00:34:44,382 --> 00:34:47,018 NOW, THE CHIP IN THE HEAD. WHAT SORT OF TRAINING ARE WE 515 00:34:47,084 --> 00:34:50,021 TALKING HERE? >> IT WAS TWO MONTHS OF TRAINING 516 00:34:50,087 --> 00:34:52,824 WITH MY FRIEND AND TRAINER ERIC JOHNSON IN NEW YORK TO GET READY 517 00:34:52,890 --> 00:34:56,494 FOR THE FIGHT TRAINING, WHICH WAS ABOUT FOUR MONTHS. 518 00:34:56,561 --> 00:34:57,929 >> Stephen: YOU HAD TO TRAIN FOR THE TRAINING? 519 00:34:57,995 --> 00:35:00,565 >> I HAD TO TRAIN FOR THE TRAINING. 520 00:35:00,631 --> 00:35:02,533 >> Stephen: WOW. DID YOU GET BIG. 521 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,703 LIKE I'M SURE YOU'RE ALREADY FIT. 522 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:08,840 MUSICAL THEATER GUYS ARE ALWAYS READY TO GO, YOU'RE DANCERS. 523 00:35:08,906 --> 00:35:11,175 >> HAVE THE DANCE BELT ON ALWAYS, JUST IN CASE. 524 00:35:11,242 --> 00:35:12,844 >> Stephen: ME, TOO. >> RIGHT. 525 00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:16,514 I CAN TELL. >> Stephen: IT'S ON RIGHT NOW, 526 00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:18,549 IT'S COMFY. >> I CAN SEE IT. 527 00:35:18,616 --> 00:35:21,085 TAP SHOES AND A DANCE BELT ALL THE TIME. 528 00:35:21,152 --> 00:35:22,420 >> Stephen: 100%. 100%. 529 00:35:22,487 --> 00:35:24,055 >> YOU HAD TO TRAIN FOR THE TRAINING. 530 00:35:24,121 --> 00:35:27,258 AND THEN WHEN I GOT IN FOR THE FIGHT TRAINING, I WALKED INTO 531 00:35:27,325 --> 00:35:35,333 THE TENT, AND KEANU IS THERE IN HIS JUJITSU OUTFIT, COVERED IN 532 00:35:35,399 --> 00:35:39,437 SWEAT, GOING LIKE BOP-BOP-BOP-BOP-BOP. 533 00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:44,308 AND I WAS LIKE WHAT? WHAT? 534 00:35:44,375 --> 00:35:45,743 CARRIE-ANNE WAS FIGHTING-- MOSS. 535 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:52,383 THE CARRIE-ANNE MOSS, SHE IS LOOKING LIKE SHE HASN'T AGED A 536 00:35:52,450 --> 00:35:55,219 DAY AND IS FIGHTING LITERALLY 20 PEOPLE. 537 00:35:55,286 --> 00:35:58,456 AND I THOUGHT, WOW, AM I REALLY GOING TO STEP ON THIS MAT? 538 00:35:58,523 --> 00:36:00,725 BUT I JUST PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER. 539 00:36:00,791 --> 00:36:06,063 I TOOK ALL OF MY ANXIETY, TURNED IT INTO RAGE, AS THE CHARACTER. 540 00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:08,332 THEY CALLED ME "THE SAVAGE" IN THE TRAINING TENT. 541 00:36:08,399 --> 00:36:09,600 >> Stephen: WOW. >> YEAH. 542 00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:12,370 AND I JUST, LIKE, WENT FOR IT. >> Stephen: NOW, YOU SAID-- I 543 00:36:12,436 --> 00:36:15,806 HEARD THAT YOU SAID THAT STAGE FIGHTING IS LIKE MAKING LOVE. 544 00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:20,144 AND I'M CURIOUS WHY-- WHY IS THAT? 545 00:36:20,211 --> 00:36:25,349 BECAUSE IT'S ALL FAKE? >> Stephen: WHY IS IT? 546 00:36:25,416 --> 00:36:26,751 WHY IS THAT THE CASE? ( APPLAUSE ) 547 00:36:26,817 --> 00:36:31,622 CONTROL AND STUFF LIKE THAT? >> YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT. 548 00:36:31,689 --> 00:36:37,395 >> Stephen: OKAY. >> IT'S A-- IT'S A PHYSICAL 549 00:36:37,461 --> 00:36:38,262 DIALOGUE. SO... 550 00:36:38,329 --> 00:36:41,132 ( LAUGHS ). >> Stephen: IF YOU EVER-- IF 551 00:36:41,198 --> 00:36:45,102 YOU EACH CUT AN ALBUM OF LOVE TONGZ OF SONGS THAT'S GOT TO BE 552 00:36:45,169 --> 00:36:49,273 THE NAME OF THE ALBUM. JONATHAN GROFF: "PHYSICAL 553 00:36:49,340 --> 00:36:54,412 DIALOGUE." YOU IN A HEADBAND LIKE OLIVIA 554 00:36:54,478 --> 00:36:57,582 NAUGHTON JOHN. >> YES! 555 00:36:57,648 --> 00:37:00,885 YES INSPECT JOHN TRAVOLTA IN "STAYING ALIVE." 556 00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:03,154 THERE ARE NO LINES. IT'S LIKE DOING A LOVE SCENE 557 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,256 BECAUSE YOU'RE TELLING THE STORY WITH YOUR BODY. 558 00:37:05,323 --> 00:37:10,261 IT'S MORE INTENSE IN A FIGHT... ( LAUGHS ) 559 00:37:10,328 --> 00:37:13,364 BECAUSE-- AND KEANU KIND OF TAUGHT ME A LOT ABOUT THIS. 560 00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:17,602 THERE'S, LIKE, AN AGREEMENT BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER. 561 00:37:17,668 --> 00:37:21,138 YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE CONTACT. YOU'RE GOING TO PUT... 562 00:37:21,205 --> 00:37:23,641 ( LAUGHS ) ( APPLAUSE ) 563 00:37:23,708 --> 00:37:34,518 ( LAUGHTER ) >> YOU'RE GOING TO HIT EACH 564 00:37:34,585 --> 00:37:37,421 OTHER,s BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A PHYSICAL AGREEMENT THAT 565 00:37:37,488 --> 00:37:40,124 YOU'RE NOT GOING-- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GO ALL THE WAY. 566 00:37:40,191 --> 00:37:45,796 YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT-- ( LAUGHTER ) 567 00:37:45,863 --> 00:37:56,374 ( CHEERING ) ( LAUGHTER ) 568 00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:05,883 AND THERE'S A CAMERA... >> AND THERE'S A CAMERA. 569 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:06,817 AND... >> Stephen: YOU KNOW. 570 00:38:06,884 --> 00:38:15,593 >> AND A DIRECTOR. >> Stephen: A DIRECTOR. 571 00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:17,695 AND THERE'S CRAFT SERVICES AND A UNION, YOU KNOW, MAKING LOVE. 572 00:38:17,762 --> 00:38:21,499 >> THE PARALLELS ARE END MS. >> Stephen: THEY SURE ARE. 573 00:38:21,565 --> 00:38:25,436 SPEAKING OF THE PARALLELS OF MAKING LOVE AND, SHALL WE SAY, 574 00:38:25,503 --> 00:38:30,107 PHYSICAL AWAKENING, WE ARE COMING UP-- YOUR BREAKOUT ROLE 575 00:38:30,174 --> 00:38:33,044 WAS BROADWAY'S "SPRING AWAKENING" IN 2006. 576 00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:35,946 THERE YOU ARE. ( APPLAUSE ) 577 00:38:36,013 --> 00:38:40,785 I JUST WANT TO POINT OUT-- SO Y'ALL IN NOVEMBER, THE ORIGINAL 578 00:38:40,851 --> 00:38:44,455 CAST CAME TOGETHER FOR THE 50th ANNIVERSARY OF THE 579 00:38:44,522 --> 00:38:46,023 BROADWAY DEBUT. LOOK AT YOU GUYS NOW. 580 00:38:46,090 --> 00:38:49,760 HOW DID YOU GET HOTTER? HOW IS THAT-- TIME GENERALLY 581 00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:54,732 DOES NOT MAKE PEOPLE HOTTER. YOU GUYS ARE SCORCHINGLY SEXY 582 00:38:54,799 --> 00:38:57,168 HERE. >> MY GOSH. 583 00:38:57,234 --> 00:38:59,303 THANK YOU, STEPHEN. >> Stephen: NO, THANK YOU! 584 00:38:59,370 --> 00:39:02,807 THANK YOU! WE'RE THE ONES WHO GET TO SEE 585 00:39:02,873 --> 00:39:03,808 IT. THANK YOU. 586 00:39:03,874 --> 00:39:06,010 >> OH, WOW. >> Stephen: ANY ADVICE ON THE 587 00:39:06,077 --> 00:39:09,380 REST OF US HOW TO STAY KNOW-- >> YOU'RE KILLING IT. 588 00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:10,981 YOU LOOK GREAT. >> Stephen: THANKS. 589 00:39:11,048 --> 00:39:14,852 YOU CAN COME BACK ANY TIME. ( APPLAUSE ) 590 00:39:14,919 --> 00:39:18,556 >> Stephen: YOU CAN COME BACK ANY TIME, MAN, ANY TIME. 591 00:39:18,622 --> 00:39:21,092 >> THANK YOU. WE DID THE SPRING AWAKENING 592 00:39:21,158 --> 00:39:26,731 CONCERT AS A BENEFIT FOR THE ACTORS FUND 593 00:39:26,797 --> 00:39:29,266 ( CLEARS THROAT ) YOU GOT THIS. 594 00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:32,470 >> Stephen: I GOT SO EXCITED I FORGOT TO SWALLOW. 595 00:39:32,536 --> 00:39:35,139 IT'S A WONDERFUL FUND. >> SINCE MARCH OF 2020, THE 596 00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:39,310 ACTORS FUND HAS GIVEN OUT $24.2 MILLION TO PEOPLE IN THE 597 00:39:39,376 --> 00:39:40,444 ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. ( APPLAUSE ) 598 00:39:40,511 --> 00:39:45,382 KNOW, ALL THE THEATER ACTORS LOST THEIR JOBS, AND THIS 599 00:39:45,449 --> 00:39:48,419 ORGANIZATION CAME IN AND SAVED THE INDUSTRY. 600 00:39:48,486 --> 00:39:52,356 SO, ALSO, HBO AND RADICA MEDIA PAID FOR US TO DO THIS CONCERT 601 00:39:52,423 --> 00:39:54,658 AND ARE MAKING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE THAT'S 602 00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:57,628 GOING TO COME OUT THIS SPRING. ( APPLAUSE ) 603 00:39:57,695 --> 00:40:01,132 A PLEASURE AS ALWAYS. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING 604 00:40:01,198 --> 00:40:05,636 HERE. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH VERY HAVING 605 00:40:05,703 --> 00:40:08,239 ME. >> Stephen: "THE MATRIX: 606 00:40:08,305 --> 00:40:11,342 RESURRECTIONS" IS IN THEATERS AND ON HBO MAX ON DECEMBER 22. 607 00:40:11,408 --> 00:40:12,409 JONATHAN GROFF, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 608 00:40:22,419 --> 00:40:24,522 LATE SHOW." TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS 609 00:40:24,588 --> 00:40:26,390 WILL BE DENZEL WASHINGTON AND MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL. 610 00:40:26,457 --> 00:40:29,693 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. GOOD NIGHT. 611 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:31,762 Captioning sponsored by CBS