>> "HARRY POTTER," IN CELEBRATION OF THE SERIES'
20th ANNIVERSARY, HBO MAX IS REUNITING THE MAGICAL PAST FOR.
A SPECIAL OUT NEW YEAR'S DAY. >> IT WILL INCLUDES A
BEHIND-THE-SCENES LOOK AT THE MAKING OF THE MEGA-HIT
FRANCHISE, AND INTERVIEWS WITH THE NOW-GROWN-UP CAST.
>> AND A NEW TEASER GIVES FANS A SNEAK PEEK.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> ON NEW YEAR'S DAY, HBO MAX IS
BRINGING BACK THE MAGIC OF "HARRY POTTER," WITH THE 20th
ANNIVERSARY RETURN TO HOGWARTS FEATURING IN-DEPTH INTERVIEWS:
DANIEL RADCLIFFE, EMMA WATSON, THE RED-HEADED ONE, AND THE
SORTING HAT. AND HE WILL SPILL THE TEA.
>> DOBBY WAS AN ABSOLUTE HORN DOG.
WOULDN'T LEAVE MAGGIE SMITH ALONE, ESPECIALLY WHEN COCAINE
BITCHES? LET'S JUST SAY THE HEAD WIG
DOESN'T MATCH THE WAND. >> ENJOY NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN
OUT-TAKES. >> YES, YES, I CHOOSE...
GRIFFIN... LINE?
GRIFFEN-DUTY. ROYAL.
GOO GOO G'JOOB. GREG BRADY.
SON OF A...
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: PLUS HOLIDAY CARD FIRST DRAFTS.
AND STEPHEN WELCOMES: DAVID ALAN GRIER
AND STING TAKES THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HAPPY FRIDAY. HAPPY FRIDAY.
>> Jon: HAPPY FRIDAY OH! OH!
>> Stephen: FEEL IT. ISN'T THIS LOVELY?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NO BETTER WAY TO START A WEEKEND
THAN WITH A FRIDAY. I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT.
>> Jon: UH-HUH. >> Stephen: AND THERE'S
NOTHING BETTER ON A FRIDAY THAN A FRIDAY AUDIENCE, THESE PEOPLE
RIGHT HERE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
THAT'S ALL-- THAT'S ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.
>> Jon: THAT'S ALL I WANT. >> Stephen: ALL I WANT FOR
CHRISTMAS IS THESE PEOPLE. WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A VERY
MERRY, A VERY MERRY FRIDAY TO YOU ALL.
WE ARE JUST A FEW WEEKS AWAY FROM CHRISTMAS, FOR THOSE WHO
CELEBRATE. AND IT'S ALSO A FEW WEEKS FOR
THOSE WHO DON'T. THAT'S JUST HOW CALENDARS WORK.
IT'S NOT PERSONAL. I CELEBRATE, BECAUSE I'M A
CATHOLIC. AND THIS WEEK, THE VATICAN
SURPRISED US WITH A LITTLE LENIENCY, WHEN POPE FRANCIS JUST
SAID EXTRAMARITAL SEX SINS AREN'T THAT SERIOUS.
THAT'S MY FREAKY FRANKY! ( APPLAUSE )
CLEARLY NEVER BEEN MARRIED. I ALSO WANT TO POINT OUT THAT
THAT NEWS THAT DOES NOT AFFECT ME IN ANY WAY.
I AM HAPPILY MARRIED TO MY WIFE, EVIE.
I HAVE NOT ONCE-- ( APPLAUSE )
NEIGHBOR'S WIFE. THOUGH I WOULD NOT KICK HIS
RIDING LAWNMOWER OUT OF BED FOR MULCHING CRACKERS.
NOW, EXPLAINING HIS SURPRISING TOLERANCE, THE POPE SAID SINS OF
THE FLESH WERE CERTAINLY SINS, BUT NOT AS GREAT AS SINS SUCH
AS PRIDE. SO, IF YOU ARE PROUD OF YOURSELF
FOR NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR, GOD WOULD RATHER YOU JUST BANG
ANYTHING THAT MOVES. ( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE THAT'S-- MAYBE I'M MISREADING THAT?
AM I MISREADING THAT? THE COMMENTS ARE IN RESPONSE TO
A FRENCH ARCHBISHOP WHO RECENTLY QUIT BECAUSE OF A RELATIONSHIP
HE HAD WITH A WOMAN, EVEN THOUGH HE CLAIMED IT WAS NOT
INAPPROPRIATE. POPE FRANCIS EXPLAINED IT
THIS WAY: "IT WAS A FAILING AGAINST THE
SIXTH COMMANDMENT, BUT NOT A TOTAL ONE, ONE OF SMALL
CARESSES, MASSAGE GIVEN TO HIS SECRETARY."
YOUR HOLINESS, H.R. WOULD LIKE A WORD.
( LAUGHTER ) CAN'T MASSAGE THE SECRETARIES.
CAN'T MASSAGE THE SECRETARIES. YOU CAN HEAR THE REST OF THE
STORY IN THE POPE'S NEW EROTIC ENCYCLICAL "50 SHADES OF PRAY."
( LAUGHTER ) I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING.
JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING. THE COUNTRY IS SLOWLY GETTING
BACK TO TRAVEL, AND THERE ARE STILL SOME HICCUPS IN OUR
AIRPORTS, LIKE IN THIS VIDEO THAT WENT VIRAL THIS WEEK FROM
THE DALLAS FORT WORTH AIRPORT. WHEE!
LOOK AT THAT LITTLE SUITCASE GO ( LAUGHTER )
SPIRIT AIRLINES FLIGHT EITHER! THAT IS SO ADORABLE.
THIS IS THE PIXAR MOVIE WE DIDN'T KNOW WE NEEDED.
IF YOU CAN GET PAST THE TRAGIC BACKSTORY ABOUT THE
LUGGAGE'S WIFE. NOW, EVENTUALLY, THIS PIECE OF
LUGGAGE WAS STOPPED WHEN THE GROUNDS CREW PULLED IT OVER TO
RETRIEVE IT, AT WHICH POINT THEY CHARGED THE BAG A $30 FEE TO
CHECK ITSELF. SPEAKING OF TRAVEL, ONE THING WE
KNOW ABOUT BILLIONAIRES IS THAT THEY LOVE TO JET OFF INTO SPACE.
AND THERE'S A NEW ONE JOINING THE CLUB, AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL
ABOUT HIM IN MY SEGMENT, "SPACE NEWS: MORE BILLIONAIRES
EDITION!" >> FOLLOW ME, FELLAS!
( APPLAUSE ) THE LATEST WEALTHY GENT TO TAKE
TO THE HEAVENS IS JAPANESE RETAIL MOGUL AND MAN ABOUT TO
GET JUMPED BY A SHEEP, YUSAKU MAEZAWA.
WEDNESDAY, MAEZAWA'S SPACECRAFT LEFT FOR THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE
STATION, WHERE HE WILL SPEND 12 DAYS IN ORIT WITH HIS
ASSISTANT. WOW, I HOPE THAT ASSISTANT IS
GETTING OVERTIME. "OH, THIS IS HAZELNUT, AND I
ACTUALLY ASKED FOR MOCHA. DO YOU MIND POPPING BACK TO
EARTH? THANKS SO MUCH!"
MAEZAWA IS GOING TO BE BUSY AMONGST THE STARS, BECAUSE HE
WILL USE PART OF THE TIME TO PERFORM TASKS FROM A LIST OF 100
CHALLENGES HE CROWD-SOURCED ON THE INTERNET.
WHAT AN INSPIRING USE OF MANKIND'S CONQUEST OF SPACE.
REMINDS ME OF THE WORDS OF JOHN F. KENNEDY:
>> WE CHOOSE TO GO TO THE MOON IN THIS DECADE AND DO THE OTHER
THINGS, NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE EASY, BUT FOR THE LIKES!
IF THIS VIDEO HITS A MILLION VIEWS, I'LL PIERCE MY NIPPLES
ON INSTAGRAM LIVE! ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: SO-- IT'S TRUE. HE DID IT.
IT'S TRUE. PEOPLE FORGET.
SO, WHAT KIND OF
INTERNET-FRIENDLY GOOFS AND JAPES ARE ON MAEZAWA'S TO-DO
LIST? PLAYING AIR TABLE TENNIS,
PUTTING TOGETHER A JIGSAW PUZZLE, AND DRINKING URINE
WATER. OKAY, SO, A COUPLE OF NORMAL,
RAINY DAY ACTIVITIES, AND TABLE TENNIS.
BUT ON'T WORRY, MAEZAWA'S TRIP WILL NOT INTERFERE WITH THE
IMPORTANT WORK OF ASTRONAUTS... DURING THE DAY.
BECAUSE HE ALSO PLANS TO PRANK SOMEONE WHO IS ASLEEP.
OH, COME ON! YOU KNOW HE'S GOING TO PUT A
SLEEPING ASTRONAUT'S HAND IN WARM WATER TO SEE IF IT MAKES
THEM PEE. AND THEN HE'S GOING TO DRINK IT.
( LAUGHTER ) I WAS SHOCKED BY THAT, TOO.
WE'VE ALSO GOT SOME NEWS ABOUT EARTH'S NUMBER-ONE CAUSE OF
WEREWOLVES: THE MOON. AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT
IN TONIGHT'S INSTALLMENT OF: "MOON NEWS!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) "STEVE, THE MOON IS IN SPACE.
WHY ISN'T THIS STORY IN 'SPACE NEWS'?"
FIRST OF ALL, EVERYTHING IS IN SPACE.
SECONDLY, BECAUSE WE ALREADY MADE BOTH SETS OF GRAPHICS.
IT'S ONE OF STEPHEN COLBERT'S PATENTED CLOCK -GOBBLERS.
WE ALSO MADE THIS GRAPHIC. NOW--
( APPLAUSE ) OH, YES, THE MOON.
THIS WEEK, WE LEARNED THAT A CHINESE ROVER HAS DISCOVERED
WHAT THEY'RE CALLING A "MYSTERY HUT" ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE
MOON-- THOUGH, IT MAY BE A COMBINATION MYSTERY HUT/TACO
BELL. ( LAUGHTER )
SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE THRILLING SPACE REVELATION:
THIS! OKAY, NOT THE HIGHEST
RESOLUTION. EVIDENTLY, THE CAMERA INSTALLED
ON THE CHINESE ROVER IS A DUCT-TAPED BABY MONITOR.
IT'S ESPECIALLY BAD, CONSIDERING THE HUT OF MYSTERY WAS ONLY
ABOUT 80 METERS AWAY FROM THE ROVER.
THERE'S NO ATMOSPHERE! WHY IS IT SO BLURRY?
I TOOK A PIC WITH MY PHONE A FEW NIGHTS AGO, AND I WAS ABLE TO
SEE THE MOON JUST FINE. WAIT A MINUTE, JIMMY.
IS THAT THE MOON? >> THAT'S NO MOON.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, OBI -WAN. SO, WHAT IS THIS MYSTERY HUT ON
OUR MOON? IS IT AN ALIEN POWER SOURCE?
A SECRET RUSSIAN WEAPONS BASE? WELL, BRACE YOURSELVES,
BECAUSE SCIENTISTS THINK IT'S PROBABLY A LARGE BOULDER.
BOO, BOO, SCIENCE! I AAY BOO, SIR!
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN OUR FUN?
SCIENCE IS ALWAYS SAYING THINGS LIKE, "THE MOON HUT IS JUST A
ROCK," AND "I DON'T CARE HOW MANY CARDBOARD WINGS YOU
TAPE TO YOUR BROTHER, HE WON'T FLY WHEN YOU PUSH HIM OFF THE
GARAGE." HE'LL FLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
( LAUGHTER ) COMING UP ON THE FIRST
ANNIVERSARY OF THE JANUARY 6 INSURRECTION.
AND I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE MOST RECENT INCARCERATED
INSURRECTIONIST IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP
ROUNDUP." >> STOP YOUR STALLION AND PUT
THESE APPA-LOSERS IN JAIL! ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: TONIGHT'S DEMOCRACY--
( APPLAUSE ) DINGUS IS FLORIDA MAN FELIPE
MARQUEZ. MARQUEZ HOPED THE F.B.I. WOULD
GO EASY ON HIM AFTER THE JANUARY 6 ATTACK ON THE CAPITOL
WHEN HE TOLD THEM HE WAS "IN THE BATHROOM POOPING WHEN THE
VIOLENCE OCCURRED." NOW, I'M NO LEGAL EXPERT.
I KNOW YOU CAN PLEAD THE FIFTH, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE YOU CAN'T
PLEAD THE DEUCE. ( LAUGHTER )
TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS DAVID ALAN GRIER.
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, I'LL SHOW YOU THE YEAR'S HOTTEST HOLIDAY
( APPLAUSE ) HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO
"THE LATE SHOW." IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF
THE YEAR, WHEN PARENTS ALL OVER THE NATION HAVE TO SAY, HEY,
SIRI, "WHAT THE HELL ARE L .O.L. DOGS?"
AND, "HOW ARE THEY SOLD OUT IF I JUST LEARNED OF THEIR
EXISTENCE?" AND SOME PEOPLE LOVE TO GIVE
HOLIDAY CARDS. BUT EVEN THE BEST CHRISTMAS
CARDS DON'T NAIL IT ON THE FIRST TRY, SO TONIGHT WE'LL TAKE A
LOOK AT SOME OF THE EARLY ATTEMPTS IN OUR SEGMENT:
"FIRST DRAFTS." >> NO, NO!
STUPID! >> Stephen: AS ALWAYS, I NEED A
LITTLE HELP, AND AS ALWAYS, I HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE SANTA'S
HELPER, MY WIFE, EVIE. EVIE, MY DARLING.
THERE YOU GO. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
YOU LOOK LOVELY. >> THANK YOU!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO TELL
ME I HAVE LIPSTICK ON MY MOUTH. THANK YOU!
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, EVIE, MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY
>> I DON'T LIKE THAT. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T DO DAIRY
"P" I GOT YOU MOUNTAIN DEW CODE RED.
A LITTLE BRANDY IN BOTH. >> IS THIS REALITY MOUNTAIN DEW?
>> IT IS. YOU DON'T DO DAIRY.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU. IT'S RED FOR THE SEASON.
IT'S THE SAME COLOR AS SANTA. >> OKAY, GREAT.
>> Stephen: CHEERS. >> THAT LOOKS GROSS.
>> Stephen: I DON'T CARE HOW IT LOOKS.
IT TASTES LIKE CHEER. ( LAUGHTER )
>> I DO. >> Stephen: YOU'RE AN OLD
VETERAN. >> OH, PRO.
>> Stephen: OF THIS. >> WE'VE COME A LONG WAY SINCE
LAST CHRISTMAS WHEN WE DID THIS IN THE TINY ROOM.
>> MUCH MORE FUN. >> Stephen: SO YOU HAVE THE
CARDS RIGHT THERE. TO REMIND EVERYBODY HERE,
IN "FIRST DRAFTS," I SHOW YOU A CHRISTMAS CARD THAT SOLD IN
STORES, AND THEN YOU WILL GIVE ME THE NEXT CARD.
THE NOT-SO-GOOD FIRST DRAFT. >> GOT IF.
>> Stephen: HAS THE PREMISE BEEN ESTABLISHED?
MAY I HAVE THE FIRST CARD, PLEASE.
HERE'S ONE THAT SAYS, "CHRISTMAS IS FOR SPENDING TIME WITH THE
PEOPLE YOU LOVE. TIDINGS OF JOY TO ONE OF MY
FAVORITES!" THAT'S LOVELY.
>> VERY SWEET. >> Stephen: BUT THE FIRST DRAFT
SAID, "CHRISTMAS IS FOR SPENDING TIME WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE...
SO LET'S JUST CATCH UP IN JANUARY?"
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S HONEST.
NOW, WE-- I HAVEN'T ASKED FOR IT
YET. WE SET UP OUR CHRISTMAS TREE.
>> WE DID. >> Stephen: THIS WEEKEND.
>> YUP. >> Stephen: AND WE TOYED WITH
THE IDEA OF NOT BRIEFLY. >> I KNOW.
>> AND THERE WAS NO ONE HOME TO DECORATE IT.
BUT MARY -- >> Stephen: MY SISTER CAME IN.
AND WE GOT EACH OTHER VERY ILL. >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YES, THAT IS THE GIFT OF THE MAJI, I THINK.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU BETTER? YOU FEEL BETTER.
>> Stephen: I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER THAT PEOPLE DIDN'T EVEN
KNOW I WAS SICK. BUT THANK YOU.
>> VERY SICK. >> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO
GIVE ANY DESCRIPTIONS OF HOW SICK I WAS.
>> THERE WERE TEARS. >> Stephen: THERE WERE ACTUAL
TEARS AND PRAYING FOR DEATH. ( LAUGHTER ).
YOU WERE LIKE A LITTLE BOY-- "WILL I EVER FEEL BETTER?"
>> Stephen: I BELIEVE AT ONE POINT I SAID, "PLEASE DON'T
LEAVE THE ROOM, BUT ALSO DO NOT TALK TO ME."
( LAUGHTER ) >> YEAH.
>> THAT'S YOU IN A NUTSHELL WHEN YOU'RE NOT FEELING WELL.
>> Stephen: THAT'S ME EXACTLY. WE'LL PROBABLY CUT THIS ENTIRE
STORY OUT. NONE OF THIS WILL MAKE IT TO
AIR. MAY I HAVE THE NEXT ONE PLEASE.
>> YES. >> Stephen: THIS ONE SAYS,
"FELIZ NAVIDAD! WISHING YOU A FANTASTICO HOLIDAY!"
VERY NICE. VERY, VERY NICE.
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "FELIZ NAVIDAD...
IS AS FAR AS I GOT ON DUOLINGO. MUCHO SORRY."
( APPLAUSE ) CHRISTMAS?
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS?
BECAUSE I HAVE NOT GONE SHOPPING FOR YOU AND COULD YOU GIVE ME A
HINT OF WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS?
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS?
>> NO. JUST FAMILY.
TOGETHER. WONDERFUL, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY
AROUND THE TABLE FOR DINNER WOULD BE FUN.
>> Audience: OOOO"OO! >> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE A
CAR. ( LAUGHTER ).
BOY. >> Stephen: EXACTLY, EXACTLY.
OR A HESS TRUCK. ONE OF THOSE HESS TRUCKS WOULD
BE FUN. THOSE ARE COOL.
>> DO THEY STILL MAKE THOSE? >> Stephen: THEY DO!
THIS YEAR IT'S GOT A JET IN IT! IT HAS THE THING.
>> 10 TO 15 YEARS IN A ROW. >> Stephen: BUT WE DON'T HAVE
THIS YEAR'S. NO, WE DON'T.
IT HAS A JET IN IT. I'LL NEVER GET OVER WANTING A
HESS TRUCK. HERE'S A CARD THAT SAYS, "THE
GREATEST GIFTS OF ALL ARE THOSE THAT MONEY CAN'T BUY...
FRIENDSHIP, PEACE AND LOVE. MERRY CHRISTMAS."
>> VERY SWEET AND TRUE. >> Stephen: IT'S TRUE.
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "THE GREATEST GIFTS OF ALL ARE THOSE
THAT MONEY CAN'T BUY... WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING,
THANKS TO ONGOING SUPPLY CHAIN ISSUES.
I WOULD DROP-KICK RUDOLPH FOR A PS5."
( APPLAUSE ) HERE'S A NICE ONE.
"ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS... IS YOU!"
>> EE! >> Stephen: BUT THE FIRST DRAFT
SAID, "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS...
IS YOU! UNLESS YOUR BROTHER'S DIVORCE IS
FINALIZED, THEN I'M GONNA WEIGH MY OPTIONS."
THAT'S NOT VERY NICE. >> THAT'S CREEPY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHY IT WAS THE FIRST DRAFT.
THAT'S WHY THEY DIDN'T SELL THAT ONE.
>> DON'T LIKE THAT ONE. HOW DO YOU LIKE MY SPARKLES.
>> Stephen: I LOVE THE SPARKLES.
THE FUNNY THING IS, IT'S SUPER SPARKLE.
>> IT DOESN'T SPARKLE -- >> Stephen: IT DOESN'T SPARKLE
AS MUCH FROM AN ANGLE BUT STRAIGHT ON IT'S A BLINDER.
YOU'RE BLINDINGLY BEAUTIFUL. >> VERY SWEET.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU LIKE MY TIE?
>> I LIKE YOUR TIE. >> Stephen: YOU DO?
IT'S THE FIRST NIGHT I'VE WORN IT.
THEY-- THEY LIKED MY TIE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
IT'S JUST A TIE. OKAY.
HERE'S ANOTHER CLASSIC: "MERRY CHRISTMAS, I SAW MOMMY
KISSING SANTA CLAUS." BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "MERRY
CHRISTMAS, I SAW MOMMY ASSURING SANTA CLAUS THAT IT HAPPENS TO
ALL GUYS AND IT'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF."
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT ONE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I HAVE NO REFERENCE. >> I'M NOT SAYING A WORD.
>> Stephen: NO, YOU'RE NOT. NO, YOU'RE NOT.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
>> HAVE A LITTLE MORE OF THIS. >> Stephen: EXACTLY, THERE YOU
GO. A LITTLE BIT OF THAT.
MMM. MMM.
>> ANNIVERSARY NICE. >> Stephen: VERY NICE.
>> THIS IS THE LAST ONE. THAT MEANS I HAVE TO LEAVE.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN STAY. YOU JUST CAN'T BE ON TV.
( LAUGHTER ) >> I THINK WE SHOULD GO TO,
LIKE, A PARTY BECAUSE I GOT DRESSED UP.
>> Stephen: LET'S HIT THE CLUB, GIRL.
YOU AND ME AND DAVID ALAN GRIER. >> THE FOAM PIT.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT THE FOAM PIT IS.
>> NOT AFTER COVID. YOU CAN'T DO THOSE KINDS OF
THINGS. >> Stephen: NO, THE FOAM IS
ANTIBACTERIAL. YOU HAVE TO STAY IN THE FOAM PIT
FOR TWO "HAPPY BIRTHDAYS." >> OH, GOD.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
YOU'RE VERY KIND. THIS ONE IS SWEET.
IT SAYS, "OUR FAMILY MAKES THIS GINGERBREAD HOUSE A GINGERBREAD
HOME... I LOVE OUR GREAT BIG
GINGERBREAD BUNCH." >> ANNIVERSARY SWEET.
>> Stephen: BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "OUR FAMILY MAKES THIS
GINGERBREAD HOUSE A GINGERBREAD HOME...
BUT MAYBE IT'S TIME WE DISCUSS GINGERBIRTH CONTROL."
THANK YOU, MY LOVE. >> YOU'RE WELCOME!
>> Stephen: MERRY CHRISTMAS. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC LEGEND STING DOING THE COLBERT
QUESTIONERT. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
OH, MY GOODNESS! OH, MY GOODNESS LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN INTERNATIONAL ROCK STAR AND A
17-TIME GRAMMY AWARD WINNER. HERE TO TAKE THE COLBERT
QUESTIONERT, PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," STING!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERING ) >> Stephen: IT'S AN AMAZING
BAND. >> THAT'S A FANTASTIC BAND.
>> Stephen: EXTRAORDINARY BAND.
NOW, THEN, STING, YOU KNOW, WE LOVE HAVING YOU ON THE SHOW,
BOTH AS A GUEST AND AS A MUSICAL GUEST.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). IT'S BEEN MY PRIVILEGE AND MY
HONOR TO SPEAK TO YOU MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS.
BUT EVEN WITH ALL THE HARD-HITTING QUESTIONS I THROW
AT MY GUESTS, I SOMETIMES DON'T GET TO KNOW THEM AS WELL AS I
WOULD LIKE, YOU KNOW. >> OKAY.
>> Stephen: IT'S JUST A BRIEF MOMENT, TWO SHIPS IN THE NIGHT
NORMALLY SORT OF THING. >> OKAY.
>> Stephen: SO WHAT "THE LATE SHOW" "LABS HAS COME UP WITH A
SERIES OF 15 QUESTIONS THROUGH WHICH I PLUMB THE DEPTHS OF A
GUEST'S SOUL, AT THE END OF WHICH THEY ARE KNOWN.
>> OKAY. >> Stephen: ARE YOU PREPARED--
>> NOT QUITE. ( LAUGHTER )
YOURSELF. BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR THE
COLBERT QUESTIONERT. DO YOU ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE?
>> I AM CONCENTRATING RIGHT NOW. YES.
>> Stephen: HERE WE GO. ♪ ♪ ♪
( BELL RINGS ) STING, WHAT IS THE BEST
SANDWICH? >> CLUB.
( APPLAUSE ). NICE.
WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU OWN THAT YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW
OUT? >> CAUTION.
( APPLAUSE ) SCARIEST ANIMAL?
>> A CAT. ( LAUGHTER )
UP? CAN YOU BACK THAT UP?
>> I HAVE CATS. I'M TERRIFIED OF THEM.
AND SO ARE MY DOGS. >> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES?
>> APPLES! ENGLISH APPLES.
>> Stephen: ENGLISH APPLES. >> YES.
I'M ENGLISH. >> Stephen: YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) THEIR AUTOGRAPH?
>> I ONLY HAVE ONE AUTOGRAPH. I HAVE FRANK SINATRA'S
AUTOGRAPH. ( APPLAUSE ).
THAT? >> I GOT THAT MAYBE 25 YEARS
AGO. AND HE WROTE, "TO THE NEW BLUE
EYES." BUT I HAVE GREEN EYES.
( LAUGHTER ) HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?
>> OH, IT'S ONLY CONJECTURE, BUT I IMAGINE IT'S THE SAME AS IT
WAS BEFORE I WAS HERE. WHICH MAKES IT INCUMBENT UPON US
TO CREATE HEAVEN ON EARTH NOW. AND NOT HELL.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HERE'S WHERE THE
QUESTIONS GET A LITTLE TOUGHER. FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE.
>> "THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN." ( APPLAUSE )
>> WINDOW. >> Stephen: WHY WINDOW.
HOLD ON. YOU DON'T MIND GETTING UP TO
BOTHER THE PERSON ON THE AISLE WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE
BATHROOM? >> I LIKE TO LOOK OUT THE
WINDOW, WATCH THE GROUND BENEATH ME OR THE CLOUDS OR THE STARS.
>> Stephen: FAVORITE SMELL? >> ESPRESSO IN THE MORNING.
( APPLAUSE ) SMELL?
>> FEAR. ( LAUGHTER )
USED APP ON YOUR PHONE? >> "THE NEW YORK TIMES."
( APPLAUSE ) THIS IS-- THIS IS A LITTLE BIT
OF A CALL-BACK, CATS OR DOGS? >> DOGS.
I'M AFRAID OF CATS. ( APPLAUSE )
SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
WHAT IS IT? >> "THE SOUND OF SILENCE."
( APPLAUSE ) GARFUNKEL SONG, OR THE LIRL
SOUND OF SILENCE? >> THE LITERAL SOUND OF SILENCE.
I LIKE PAUL'S SONG, BUT... >> Stephen: STING, WHAT NUMBER
AM I THINKING OF? >> 18.
>> Stephen: NO. >> ARE YOU SURE?
>> Stephen: IT DIVIDES INTO 18.
>> SIX? >> Stephen: NOPE.
( LAUGHTER ) IN FIVE WORDS.
>> MORE OF THE SAME, PLEASE. ( APPLAUSE ).
KNOWN. CONGRATULATIONS.
HIS ALBUM, "THE BRIDGE," IS OUT NOW.
STING, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
EVERYBODY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST
TONIGHT IS A NEWLY MINTED TONY AWARD-WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW
FROM "IN LIVING COLOR," "JUMANJI," AND "A SOLDIER'S
PLAY." HE NOW STARS IN THE DRAMA SERIES
"JOE PICKETT." PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," SIR DAVID ALAN GRIER. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> CAN I SIT HERE? >> Stephen: WHATEVER YOU'RE
COMFORTABLE WITH. DEALER'S CHOICE.
>> ARE WE DOING DISTANCING? NO, PLEASE, WON'T YOU PLEASE.
>> DO I LIKE DIFFERENT TO YOU. >> Stephen: WELL, YOU HAVE--
THERE HAS BEEN ONE CHANGE SINCE YOU LEFT.
>> THERE HAS. >> Stephen: YOU WON A TONY
AWARD. >> YES, I HAVE!
I WASN'T SURE WHY. >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE PEP IN THE STEP.
>> YEAH. YOU KNOW, WHEN I'M AT THE CAR
WASH, I'M LIKE, "CALL ME TONY!" >> Stephen: THIRD-- THIRD
NOMINATION, RIGHT? >> FOURTH.
>> Stephen: FOURTH? >> FOURTH NOMINATION.
>> Stephen: WOW. WE HAVE-- WE ACTUALLY HAVE A
LITTLE CLIP. WE HAVE PART OF-- WE HAVE PART
OF YOUR SPEECH RIGHT HERE. JIM.
>> KENNY LEON, KENNY LEON, KENNY, I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS THE
FIRST CALL OR THE LAST CALL, BROTHER, BUT I'M JUST GLAD YOU
CALLED, BABY! THANK YOU, GUYS.
AND TO THE OTHER NOMINEES, TOUGH BANANAS.
I WON. ( APPLAUSE )
I LOVE HONESTY. >> , YOU KNOW, IN THAT MOMENT, I
WAS DOWN THE ROAD AND SINCERITY WAS ON ONE SIDE AND
DOUCHE-BAGGERY WAS ON THE OTHER. AND I JUST GRABBED THE WHEEL.
NO, I-- I-- IT REALLY WAS MOVING IN SLOW MOTION.
AND I THOUGHT SHOULD I BE-- SHOULD I SAY THIS THING OR DO
THIS OTHER THING THAT I REALLY WANT TO DO?
SO I JUST-- IT WAS ALL FROM MY HEART.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU HAVE EMOTIONAL REACTIONS TO THINGS,
BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE. THERE WAS A POST YOU PUT ON
INSTAGRAM, SOME VIDEO YOU PUT ON INSTAGRAM, BECAUSE YOUR ALMA
MATER, MICHIGAN, RECENTLY BEAT THE OHIO STATE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT? >> Stephen: UNIVERSITY--
( SCREAMS ). >> Stephen: IT WAS.
WE HAVE FOOTAGE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL US-- YOU
HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL US.
>> WOOOOOO! YEAH!
( BLEEP ) YEAH! >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW WHEN
THE LAST TIME WAS I FELT THAT GOOD.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU FELT THAT GOOD?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, I ATTENDED MICHIGAN IN THE 70s, AND THAT
WAS WHEN WE WERE DOMINANT. BUT WE HAVE NOT BEATEN OHIO
STATE, I THINK IN, LIKE, OVER EIGHT YEARS SPP AND WHAT PEOPLE
DON'T UNDERSTAND, THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN AND OHIO STATE, THEY
ARE OUR ARCH-RIVALS. ARCH-RIVALS.
IN A FOOTBALL SEASON, WE COULD LOSE EVERY SINGLE GAME, BUT IF
YOU BEAT OHIO STATE, THAT'S A SUCCESSFUL SEASON.
( LAUGHTER ) WE WEREN'T EVEN GOING TO SCORE.
AND WHEN IT FINALLY WON, IT WAS JUST, LIKE-- I MEAN, I GOT A
TONY AND MICHIGAN WON! AAAAHHHH!
IT WAS SO... >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK. BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
MORE DAVID ALAN GRIER, EVERYBODY.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
( APPLAUSE ). DAVID ALAN GRIER.
DAVID, WHERE DO YOU HAVE THE TONY?
WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT? >> RIGHT NOW IT'S IN THE TONY
BOX, AND IT'S UP ABOVE MY FIREPLACE, BECAUSE I HAVE DOGS,
VERY LARGE -- >> Stephen: SURE, SURE.
>> DOGS, AND EVERYTHING IS A PLAY TOY.
WHAT HAPPENED IS, LIKE, SO I WENT BACK AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN I
WAS GIVING THE SPEECH AND YOU SEE PEOPLE LOOKING AT THE AWARD
LIKE, "OH, MY NEW FRIEND," I WAS LOOKING FOR MY NAME.
AND THERE'S NO NAME ON IT. AND I WAS LIKE, OKAY, WELL.
AND AS SOON AS YOU GO BACKSTAGE, THEY TAKE THE AWARD FROM YOU,
AND THAT'S NOT YOUR AWARD. "WE'RE GOING TO INSCRIBE IT AND
SEND IT TO YOU." SO, LIKE, A MONTH LATER, THEY
SEND A BOX THAT HAD NO MARKINGS, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF THE TONY
THIEVES. THEY-- THEY DON'T SAY --
>> Stephen: OH, NEW YORK. BANDS OF TONY THIEVES.
THEY ROAM THE STREETS. SURE, SURE.
>> IT WAS A BOX, AND I THOUGHT IT WAS, LIKE, AN UNWISE eBAY
PURCHASE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SO I JUST THREW IT IN MY CAR.
IT WAS THERE FOR A FEW DAYS. THEN I THREW IT IN THE LAUNDRY
ROOM. MY DOG CHEWED PART OF THE BOX.
I KICKED IT OUT OF THE WAY. SO WHEN I FINALLY OPENED IT, IT
WAS BROKEN. THE SPINNER WAS GONE.
AND I'M A GUARD WITH THAT. I'M LIKE, YOU'RE NOT GOING BACK.
I SHOVED THAT THING IN THERE, AND I FIX THE SPINNER AND NOW
IT'S ALL GOOD. >> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD.
A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS. >> IT WAS.
>> Stephen: IT REALLY WAS. WANT TO ASK ME WHAT?
>> WELL, I KNOW, STEVE, IT'S PROBABLY DIFFICULT FOR YOU,
SITTING NEXT TO A TONY WINNER LIKE MYSELF.
>> Stephen: YES. >> HAVE YOU-- HAVE YOU EVER...
IT'S A RIDICULOUS QUESTION. HAVE YOU EVER WON A TONY?
>> Stephen: NO, I HAVE NEVER, I HAVE NEVER WON A TONY.
>> I KNOW. >> Stephen: I DON'T HAVE-- I
DON'T HAVE ROOM WITH MY 11 EMMYS.
HAVE YOU EVER WON AN EMMY? I DON'T KNOW...
( APPLAUSE ) IMPORTANT AS MY TWO GRAMMYS, BUT
I WAS WONDERING WHETHER IF YOU'VE WON ANY PEABODYS, BECAUSE
I HAVE FIVE OF THOSE. AND I'M JUST WONDERING--
>> WELL, THAT'S GREAT. YOU KNOW, CONGRATULATIONS.
>> Stephen: THANKS VERY MUCH. >> YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU'RE AWARE OF THIS, BUT THE TONY AWARD IS THE MOST DIFFICULT
AWARD... ( LAUGHTER )
>> ARE YOU GOING TO EDIT THAT OUT.
>> Stephen: WHAT? >> I WAS GOING TO SAY, EXCUSE
ME. THE TONY AWARD IS THE MOST
DIFFICULT AWARD TO WIN. AND STATISTICALLY, THERE'S,
LIKE, THE EMMY IS THE EASIEST, AND THEN THE PEABODYS ARE
REALLY... ( LAUHTER )
>> BUT I MEAN, YOU KNOW, GOOD LUCK.
>> Stephen: THANKS VERY MUCH, THANKS VERY MUCH.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU'VE SUPPORTED
FOR A LONG TIME THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT.
THAT IS THE PUBLIC WEARING OF OVERALLS.
>> LISTEN. --
-->> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW THAT YOU WERE IN THE LIFESTYLE.
WHAT IS IT ABOUT OVERALLS THAT, YOU KNOW, YOU LOVE?
WHAT IS IT ABOUT IT THAT APPEALS TO YOU?
>> IT'S AN ADULT ONESY. LOOK AT IT.
IT'S LIKE BABY CLOTHES FOR OLD PEOPLE.
BUT -- >> Stephen: DO THESE JEANS GO
ALL THE WAY UP AND STRAP OVER YOUR SHOULDER.
>> I TOLD THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, "I GOT OVERALLS HERE."
HE SAID, "THAT'S OKAY, THAT'S OKAY.
JUST LEAVE THEM THERE. WE WANT YOU."
>> Stephen: WHEN DID THIS START?
>> WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE, MAN. THAT WAS THE 70s SO I WAS, YOU
KNOW, YOUNG HIPSTER, HIPPIE, BLACK HIPPIE DUDE, EVERYBODY IS
WEARING OVERALLS AND PAINTER PANTS.
AND I GOT OLDER AND I REDISCOVERED THEM.
AND I STARTED WEARING THEM. BUT IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT VIBE
NOW WITH THE BEARD AND -- >> Stephen: THEY'RE THE
SLIPPER OF THE ENTIRE BODY. >> WELL, I MEAN, I LOOK MORE...
LIKE AN EXTRA FROM "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD."
AT THIS POINT IT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT AESTHETIC.
ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, IT WAS A HAL-- HALLOWEEN, AND I WAS WITH
MY YOUNG DAUGHTER. AND SHE WAS IN HER OUTFIT.
SHE WAS LIKE A... A... A JAPANESE ANIME CHARACTER.
SO WE WENT TO THIS TEE SHOP, AND THE YOUNG BLOND HIPSTER GOES, "I
LOVE YOU GUYS' COSTUMES. ARE YOU A FARMER?"
AND I WAS LIKE... "NO, I'M NOT.
I'M NOT A FARMER. IT'S NOT A COSTUME.
THIS IS WHAT I WEAR." ( LAUGHTER )
IT'S BEEN PAINFUL, BUT I'M GOING TO STAY MY GROUND.
AND ALSO WHAT YOU MISTAKEN TO SAY, STEPHEN THE REASON WHY THAT
PICTURE WAS PUBLISHED IS BECAUSE I AM A FASHION GOD.
( LAUGHTER ). YOU'RE A FASHION ICON.
>> TELL THEM WHY! IT'S NOT JUST ME.
"GQ" MAGAZINE SAID I'M A FASHION GOD!
( APPLAUSE ) TELL THEM!
>> Stephen: "GQ" MAGAZINE SAID HE'S A FASHION GOD.
IT'S TRUE. OUR FACT CHECKERS CHECKED ON
THAT. >> I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.
THEY THINK IT'S ALL FUNNY. IT'S NOT.
I'M A FASHION GOD. >> Stephen:IMENT TO MAKE YOU
ASSURED-- NOT ALL OF IT IS FUNNY.
TELL ME ABOUT "JOE PICKETT." IT'S A DRAMA.
WE'RE GETTING SOME DRAMA FROM SIR DAVID ALAN, TONY WINNER.
>> "JOE PICKETT" IS ABOUT A GAME WARDEN, AND I'M THE OLDER
RETIRING GAME WARDEN. MY NAME IS VERN DUN BEGAN, AND
IT'S IN WYOMING AND IT'S ALL ABOUT LAND RIGHTS AND DIRTY
DEALING AND SHADY POACHERS AD MURDERS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU MURDER ANYONE?
>> I CAN'T TELL YOU. I CAN'T TELL YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU MURDER SOMEONE.
THAT MEANS YOU MURDER SOMEONE. >> NO, BUT IT'S THE BEST BECAUSE
I PLAY A GUY WHO'S A SCUMBAG, AND, YOU KNOW, YOU WOULD
PROBABLY SAY, "DUUH!" BUT, YOU KNOW.
IT WAS REALLY FUN. I MEAN, IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT
ROLE. THESE BROTHERS, THE DOWDLES, ARE
THEIR NAMES. WE HAD OUR ZOOM MEETING.
AND I'M, LIKE, "WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO PLAY THIS DAFTERDLY GUY?"
AND THEY TALKED ME INTO IT. WE WERE IN CALGARY FOR, LIKE,
SIX MONTHS. >> Stephen: CANADA.
>> YEAH, AND THEY IMMEDIATELY SHUT DOWN THE COUNTRY.
>> Stephen: AS SOON AS YOU GOT THERE.
>> OF COURSE. YEAH, I WAS CALLING HOME LIKE,
YOU KNOW, DADDY'S NOT IN JAIL, HONEY.
I'LL BE HOME IN TWO WEEKS. THAT PART SUCKED.
BUT THE WORK WAS AMAZING. SO-- AND IT LOOKS REALLY GOOD.
>> Stephen: IS IT BEAUTIFUL UP THERE?
I'VE NEVER BEEN UP THAT HIGH IN CANADA.
>> IT IS, BUT WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED AND DRINKING A LOT...
( LAUGHTER ) MUCH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WHEN YOU'RE NOT--
WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED AND DRINKING A LOT, HOW MUCH ARE YOU
WEARING UNDER THE OVERALLS? OR IS IT NO SHOES, NO SHIRT?
NO SUBSTRATE.3 WHAT IS GOING ON?
>> I WAS REALLY WEARING-- WELL BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT WAS A
PANDEMIC, SO, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU DO A MOVIE, YOU BASICALLY WEAR
YOUR CLOTHES JUST TO GET TO THE SET.
>> Stephen: 100%. >> AND THEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. >> Stephen: THEY DON'T REALLY
GET SOILED. >> EXACTLY.
AND YOU RIDE HOME. SO IT WAS JUST THE FASHION SHOW
FOR MY DRIVER AND THAT WALK FROM THE CAR TO THE TRAILER.
SO, YEAH, I DID HEAVY ON THE OVERALLS.
I THINK I TOOK FOUR PAIR. IT WAS JUST OVER -REPRESENTED.
>> Stephen: I THINK I MIGHT WANT SOME OVERALLS FOR CHRISTMAS
AT THIS POINT. >> HOLD ON.
I THINK SANTA'S GONNA SURPRISE YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) A GOOD SANTA RIGHT NOW?
SECOND TONY. SECOND TONY.
>> I'LL PLAY THE BAD SANTA. I'LL PLAY THE BAD SANTA.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? >> Stephen: YES, DAVID ALAN
GRIER. >> I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,
MAN. JERRY O'CONNELL WAS IN THE PLAY
WITH ME. SO AFTER THE FIRST TABLE READ,
HE SAID, "DAVID, YOU'RE GOING TO WIN A TONY FOR THIS."
>> Stephen: LITERALLY, DAY ONE?
>> YES. AND I SAID, "DUDE, SHUT UP.
YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN IT." YOU KNOW, "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT."
SO LITERALLY EVERY DAY, JERRY WOULD SAY AT SOME POINT, "YOU
ARE GOING TO WIN A TONY FOR THIS."
AND I WOULD BE LIKE, "JUST SHUT UP!"
SO THIS WENT ON THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE RUN.
SO THE NIGHT OF THE TONYS, I POSTED-- I SAID, "JERRY
O'CONNELL TOLD ME EVERY DAY I WAS GOING TO WIN THIS AWARD.
LOOK AT GOD." SO HE REPOSTED IT.
AND HE POSTED MY-- MY PHONE NUMBER BY MISTAKE.
NOW, THIS WENT OUT -- >> Stephen: BY MISTAKE?
>> YEAH, THIS WENT OUT-- SO MY AWARD WAS THE FIRST AWARD OF AN
OVER-THREE-HOUR BROADCAST, SO AS I SAT THERE, I GOT HUNDREDS AND
HUNDREDS OF TEXTS AND PHONE CALLS.
SO I THOUGHT THIS IS GOING TO BE THE CRUELEST LISTEN -BACK,
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL GOING TO BE TROLZ.
BUT WHAT HAPPENED WAS, IT WAS ALL LOVE.
PEOPLE CALLED AND SAY SAID-- THIS ONE GUY CALLED AND SAID,
"YO, MAN, THIS IS MATT FROM MAINE.
I WAS GOING TO CALL AND TALK ( BLEEP ).
I LOVE YOU MAN. I LOVE YOU!"
SO IT WAS-- IT TURNED OUT TO BE THE BEST THING.
( APPLAUSE ) MY BED IN MY UNDERWEAR AT 2 :00
IN THE MORNING JUST CRYING, READING THESE TEXTS BECAUSE THEY
WERE ALL LOVE. AND IT WAS GREAT.
IT WAS AMAZING. >> Stephen: WHO DOESN'T LOVE
DAVID ALAN GRIER, MAN? >> MY STUDENT LOAN OFFICER.
>> Stephen: NATIONAL TREASURE, TONY AWARD WINNER, DAVID ALAN
GRIER. "JOE PICKETT" IS AVAILABLE ON
SPECTRUM NOW. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
LATE SHOW." TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN I'LL BE
JOINED BY KEANU REEVES, HENRY CAVILL, AND DENZEL WASHINGTON.
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!