1 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:05,872 TWO HIPPOS IN BELGIUM HAVE TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID, THE 2 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,941 FIRST KNOWN CASES IN THE SPECIES. 3 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:12,345 OFFICIALS AT THE BELGIAN ZOO SAY THE HIPPOPOTAMUS HAVE BEEN 4 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:16,316 PLACED IN ISOLATION AFTER BEING INFECTED WITH THE VIRUS. 5 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,450 >> NEW FROM HASBRO, IT'S COVID COVID HIPPOS. 6 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:27,160 >> THE OBJECT OF THE GAME IS TO 7 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:36,369 EAT MARBLES AND IGNORE SCIENCE. 8 00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:40,573 >> I'M ILL! >> COVID COVID HIPPOS. 9 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,541 ALSO TRY OUR OTHER SUPER-SPREADER GAME, CRUISE 10 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:48,348 SHIP. >> YOU INFECTED MY WHOLE SHIP! 11 00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:51,651 >> YEAH! 12 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,053 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 13 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:59,959 TONIGHT: VAX EVASION. 14 00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:05,432 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: DR. DAVID AGUS 15 00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:09,235 AND MUSICAL GUEST, NATALIE HEMBY 16 00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:12,772 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 17 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:19,112 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE 18 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:23,817 ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 19 00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:26,386 ♪ ♪ ♪ 20 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:39,232 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) PERFECT. 21 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:43,736 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 22 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:48,007 FEELING GOOD. FEELING GOOD. 23 00:01:48,074 --> 00:01:51,377 LOOKING GOOD. >> Audience: STEPHEN! 24 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:55,448 STEPHEN! STEPHEN! 25 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:56,282 STEPHEN! STEPHEN! 26 00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:57,984 >> Stephen: HAPPY... ( CHEERING ) 27 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,753 HAPPY WEDNESDAY. HAPPY WEDNESDAY, EVERYBODY. 28 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:05,959 THANK YOU, EVERYBODY, DOWN HERE, UP THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD. 29 00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:09,562 WELCOME, WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO "THE LATE SHOW." 30 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:14,200 ♪ ♪ ♪ WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." 31 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:17,036 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS IN FULL 32 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,806 SWING ALREADY HERE IN NEW YORK. THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ARE BURNING 33 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,742 BRIGHT, ESPECIALLY OVER AT FOX NEWS HEADQUARTERS, WHERE LAST 34 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:27,814 NIGHT, THE FOX NEWS CHRISTMAS TREE WAS SET ON FIRE. 35 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,616 ( LAUGHTER ) THINKING, BUT THE GHOST OF HUGO 36 00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:32,352 CHAVEZ HAS AN ALIBI! THANKFULLY, NO ONE WAS HURT. 37 00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,387 BUT WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT A COUPLE OF TOASTED PINE CONES 38 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,923 HERE. TAKE A LOOK: 39 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:43,062 CRISPY KRINGLES! OF COURSE, THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE 40 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:50,169 HAPPENED IF THE TREE HAD A GUN. ( LAUGHTER ) 41 00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:53,973 COME ON. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 42 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:59,379 YOU GOTTA-- GIVEAVE SQUIRREL-- GIVE A SQUIRREL A GUN OR 43 00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,714 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. AND FOX NEWS TRIED TO WARN US 44 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,917 THIS WAS COMING. EVERY TIME A STORE CLERK SAYS, 45 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,952 "HAPPY HOLIDAYS," A CHRISTMAS TREE BURSTS INTO FLAMES. 46 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:12,425 ( LAUGHTER ) LAST NIGHT, AND POLICE SAY THAT 47 00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:13,693 THEY BELIEVE HE IS HOMELESS, AND MENTAL ILLNESS MAY HAVE PLAYED 48 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,765 A FACTOR. HOMELESS AND MENTALLY ILL? 49 00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:19,599 OH, MY GOD! THE FIRE WAS SET BY BILL 50 00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,802 O'REILLY. SO-- 51 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:36,215 ( APPLAUSE ) SO, IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THIS 52 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:40,253 HOLLY-JOLLY ARSONIST WAS POLITICALLY MOTIVATED, BUT FOX 53 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,089 NEWS IS STILL GONNA EIGHT MAIDS-A-MILK IT. 54 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,724 HERE'S A STOCKING STUFFED WITH THEIR COVERAGE FROM THIS 55 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,025 MORNING: >> JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT 56 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,827 COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE, SOMEBODY BURNS DOWN A CHRISTMAS TREE. 57 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,896 >> THIS IS PERSONAL TO YOU, TOO, AT HOME NOW. 58 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,265 THE FOX CHRISTMAS TREE VANDALIZED. 59 00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:53,800 ARSON. >> I KNOW SOME PEOPLE WOULD LIKE 60 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,802 TO SIMPLIFY THIS TO JUST A CHRISTMAS TREE. 61 00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,271 >> WHO SETS A CHRISTMAS TREE ON FIRE? 62 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:03,776 THE CHRISTMAS TREE, THE HOLIDAY TREE HERE IN THE SQUARE. 63 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:10,249 >> Stephen: I'M SORRY, DID A FOX ANCHOR JUST SAY, "HOLIDAY 64 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:13,920 TREE"? KEEP IT UP, DOOCY, AND AINSLEY'S 65 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,855 GONNA SET YOU ON FIRE. FOX CLEARLY WANTED TO DRIVE HOME 66 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,190 THE POINT THAT THIS FIRE WAS SET INTENTIONALLY. 67 00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:20,727 AS STEVE DOOCY SAID: >> APPARENTLY, THE GUY IS STILL 68 00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:21,628 BEING INTERVIEWED BY THE ARSON SQUAD, 69 00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:26,966 IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ARSON. 70 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,935 ( LAUGHTER ) ♪ IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT 71 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:36,776 LIKE ARSON EVERYWHERE YOU GO 72 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:37,944 ♪ TAKE A LOOK AT THE TREE AND THEN THE FLAMES ARE ROARING 73 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:46,786 ONCE AGAIN ♪ DOOCY, STOP, DROP, ROLL ♪ 74 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:50,390 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) A LITTLE BING. 75 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:57,430 >> Jon: BING CROSBY. >> Stephen: THE FIRE WAS 76 00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:06,506 PARTICULARLY UPSETTING FOR THE PEOPLE AT FOX. 77 00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,274 BECAUSE THE EVERGREEN TREE IS A SYMBOL OF THE ETERNAL LIFE GIVEN 78 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,742 BY CHRIST. OR AS AINSLEY PUT IT: 79 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,177 >> IT'S A TREE THAT UNITES US, THAT BRINGS US TOGETHER. 80 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,612 IT'S ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. IT'S ABOUT THE HOLIDAY SEASON. 81 00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,414 IT'S ABOUT JESUS. IT'S ABOUT HANUKKAH. 82 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:27,627 ( LAUGHTER ) GIFT FROM JESUS. 83 00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:32,432 BUT I'M GONNA-- BLESS YOUR HEART. 84 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:37,670 AINSLEY, I'M GOING TO GO UP ON THE A BURNING LIMB AND SAY THIS 85 00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:42,241 IS NOT ABOUT HANUKKAH. IF IT WAS, THE FIRE WOULD HAVE 86 00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:46,546 LOOKED LIKE THIS: BUT, ON THE OTHER HAND, MAYBE IT 87 00:05:46,612 --> 00:05:48,981 IS ABOUT HANUKKAH BECAUSE I HAVE A FEELING THAT FOX WILL 88 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:51,718 MIRACULOUSLY MAKE THIS STORY LAST FOR EIGHT DAYS. 89 00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:56,322 ( LAUGHTER ) IT'S ALSO TIME FOR CONGRESS'S 90 00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:59,892 FAVORITE HOLIDAY TRADITION: NEARLY DESTROYING THE ECONOMY 91 00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:02,729 FOR NO DAMN REASON. THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ALMOST DEBT 92 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,697 CEILING-MAS, WHEN BOTH HOUSES OF CONGRESS HAVE TO RAISE THE 93 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:08,835 OFFICIAL BORROWING LIMIT OR THE U.S. DEFAULTS ON ITS DEBT, 94 00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:12,505 CURRENCY BECOMES WORTHLESS, AND WE'RE ALL LEFT IN THE AFTERSCAPE 95 00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:21,214 TRADING SHEEP, POTABLE WATER, AND CHILDREN FOR DOGECOIN. 96 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,982 BUT NEVER FEAR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE SITUATION IS IN 97 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,218 THE CAPABLE TALONS OF SENATE MINORITY LEADER AND 98 00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:30,089 TODDLER FILLING HIS DIAPER ON SANT 99 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:32,725 SANTA'S LAP, MITCH McCONNELL. ( LAUGHTER ) 100 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:40,066 McCONNELL WANTS TO RAISE THE DEBT CEILING, BUT HE ALSO WANTS 101 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:44,670 TO FILIBUSTER ANYTHING THAT MOVES, SO HE'S COME UP WITH AN 102 00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:49,642 INGENUOUS STRATEGY: GETTING 10 REPUBLICAN SENATORS TO VOTE FOR 103 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,577 A TEMPORARY FAST-TRACK PROCESS TO ALLOW SENATE DEMOCRATS TO ACT 104 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,946 ON THEIR OWN TO INCREASE THE DEBT LIMIT WITH 51 VOTES. 105 00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:57,950 YES, THEY'RE GOING TO VOTE TO ALLOW SOMEONE ELSE TO VOTE TO 106 00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:00,887 RAISE THE DEBT CEILING. THAT WAY, NO ONE CAN BLAME THE 107 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:04,257 REPUBLICANS IF THE UNITED STATES CONTINUES TO EXIST. 108 00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:10,196 IT'S THE PERFECT CRIME: THEY'RE ON TRACK TO PASS IT-- 109 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:15,768 BUT I REFUSE TO GIVE THEM ANY CREDIT FOR DOING THE ABSOLUTE 110 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,170 BARE MINIMUM OF NOT DELIBERATELY DESTROYING THE WORLD ECONOMY. 111 00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:21,040 THE DEBT CEILING SHOULD NOT EVEN BE A THING. 112 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,208 WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO GIVE OUR GOVERNMENT A BUILT-IN SELF- 113 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:28,314 DESTRUCT MECHANISM?? THAT'S LIKE A MICROWAVE HAVING 114 00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:33,452 JUST THREE SETTINGS: REHEAT, POPCORN, AND 115 00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:37,790 "PRESS ME ONCE AN HOUR OR I'LL JUMP IN THE BATHTUB 116 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,192 WITH YOU." NOW, MOVING ON TO THINGS THAT 117 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,526 ARE ACTUALLY HAPPENING, SCIENTISTS IN SOUTH AFRICA JUST 118 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:45,598 RELEASED THE RESULTS OF A STUDY THAT FOUND OMICRON SEEMS TO DULL 119 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,400 THE POWER OF THE PFIZER VACCINE, MEANING THAT VACCINATED PEOPLE 120 00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:50,169 MIGHT BE VULNERABLE TO BREAKTHROUGH INFECTIONS. 121 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:55,775 BOOOO! >> Audience: BOOOO! 122 00:07:55,842 --> 00:08:01,013 >> Stephen: THANK YOU. I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE FOOTAGE 123 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:06,152 OF A VIRUS BREK THROUGH. >> OH-- MICRON! 124 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:12,892 ( APPLAUSE ) OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH. 125 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:17,263 SCIENTISTS WERE QUICK TO CLARIFY THAT, WHILE THE RESULTS WERE 126 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,664 SOMEWHAT WORRISOME, THERE'S NO CAUSE FOR PANIC. 127 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,433 GOOD, BECAUSE I WASN'T PANICKING ANYWAY. 128 00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:21,934 MAYBE I SHOULD, BUT I'M SO TIRED. 129 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:25,972 AFTER FIVE YEARS OF DEMOCRACY BURNING LIKE A FOX NEWS 130 00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:29,242 CHRISTMAS TREE, AND TWO YEARS OF PANDEMIC, MY ADRENAL GLANDS ARE 131 00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:30,610 SHRIVELED UP LIKE TWO CRAISINS. MY FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT RESPONSE HAS 132 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,911 TURNED INTO CARAMEL CORN AND NETFLIX. 133 00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:35,581 BESIDES, THIS IS A PRELIMINARY STUDY. 134 00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:38,017 HOW PRELIMINARY? THEY RELEASED THE RESULTS IN THE 135 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:42,355 HIGHLY-RESPECTED MEDICAL JOURNAL, TWITTER. 136 00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:47,026 ( LAUGHTER ) ALL MEDICAL STUDIES DEBUT ON 137 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,896 SOCIAL MEDIA: "HEY TIKTOK FAM, BIG NEWS-- I 138 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:52,198 GOT THIS GORGEOUS NEW BAG FROM FENDI, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO USE 139 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,167 IT TO HOLD MY NOBEL PRIZE, CUZ I CURED CANCER! 140 00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:59,538 WHOOP, WHOOP! SMASH THAT 'FOLLOW' BUTTON!" 141 00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:08,915 ( APPLAUSE ) SO WE DON'T KNOW A LOT, BUT ONE 142 00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,984 THING IS CLEAR: THE NEW VARIANT IS SPREADING FAST. 143 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:16,889 21 STATES HAVE NOW DETECTED OMICRON, INCLUDING TEXAS, WHERE 144 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,558 HOUSTON HEALTH AUTHORITIES FOUND IT IN HOUSTON'S WASTEWATER BY 145 00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:23,529 ANALYZING SEWAGE. THAT'S RIGHT. 146 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:27,600 (BLEEP) JUST GOT REAL. ( LAUGHTER ) 147 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:37,944 AND THAT'S JUST THE OMICRON OFFICIALS ARE ABLE TO DETECT. 148 00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:41,347 REPORTEDLY, SCIENTISTS HAVE JUST FOUND A STEALTH VERSION OF 149 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,818 OMICRON THAT MAY BE HARDER FOR P.C.R. TESTS TO TRACK. 150 00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:47,586 AND I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE AN ENLARGED IMAGE OF THE STEALTH 151 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:51,590 VARIANT. 152 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:56,195 WE'RE ALSO LEARNING MORE ABOUT HOW THE VIRUS IS TRANSMITTED. 153 00:09:56,262 --> 00:10:00,066 THE NEW STUDY FOUND THAT WHEN EXHALING, MALES PRODUCED 34% 154 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:07,139 MORE AEROSOL THAN FEMALES. CLASSIC MAN-SPREAD. 155 00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,909 THE VIRUS-- ( APPLAUSE ) 156 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:17,550 THE VIRUS IS ALSO MORE LIKELY TO BE TRANSMITTED BY LOUD TALKERS, 157 00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:20,686 BUT THAT SINGING IS WOSE THAN TALKING. 158 00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:23,122 FINALLY, SCIENTIFIC PROOF THAT OFFICE KARAOKE NIGHT IS KILLING 159 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,925 YOU. ( LAUGHTER ) 160 00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:32,264 SPEAKING OF SCIENCE, MORE SCIENCE. 161 00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:35,601 RESEARCHERS IN HONG KONG HAVE DEVELOPED THE FIRST -EVER 162 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:39,638 COVID-KILLING STEEL THAT CAN INACTIVATE 99.99% OF THE VIRUS 163 00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:43,576 WITHIN SIX HOURS. THAT IS FANTASTIC. 164 00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:47,246 ALSO, DIDN'T WE LEARN MONTHS AGO THAT COVID DOESN'T REALLY SPREAD 165 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,914 VIA SURFACES? IT REALLY SOUNDS LIKE THESE 166 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:55,588 SCIENTISTS FOUND OUT ABOUT COVID TWO YEARS AGO, IMMEDIATELY 167 00:10:55,654 --> 00:11:01,027 LOCKED THEMSELVES IN A LAB, AND THEN JUST EMERGED LIKE, "WE DID 168 00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:02,261 IT! WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S 169 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,562 AIRBORNE? DAMMIT! 170 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:04,997 GUESS I'LL JUST GO HOME AND WATCH QUIBI. 171 00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:06,432 WHAT?! I'M GONNA WRITE GOVERNOR CUOMO 172 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:10,236 ABOUT THIS. HUH?!!! 173 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:13,172 I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT HIS BROTHER CHRIS HAS TO SAY ABOUT THAT. 174 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:23,983 GAH!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 175 00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:31,023 WORLD'S NUMBER ONE EXPORTER OF CONSONANTS. 176 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,691 YESTERDAY WAS THE LAST DAY IN POWER FOR FORMER CHANCELLOR 177 00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,927 ANGELA MERKEL, SEEN HERE SCREAMING, "HELP! 178 00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,930 MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO BIRDS!" 179 00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:45,404 ( LAUGHTER ) STEPPED DOWN AFTER 16 YEARS. 180 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,606 THAT'S A REALLY LONG RUN. I KNOW THAT PERSONALLY, BECAUSE 181 00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:51,577 HER FIRST YEAR IN OFFICE WAS THE FIRST YEAR OF MY OLD SHOW, WHICH 182 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:59,051 BEGS THE QUESTION: "WHO AGED IT BETTER?" 183 00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,420 OH, MY GOD. ( APPLAUSE ) 184 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:05,858 STEPHEN! STEPHEN. 185 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:07,126 >> Stephen: NO, WAIT, WAIT A SECOND. 186 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:10,162 WHY AM I THE ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE HE SPENT YEARS TRYING TO PREVENT 187 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,565 THE COLLAPSE OF THE GREEK ECONOMY? 188 00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:18,337 ( LAUGHTER ) WIEDERSEHEN" CEREMONY FOR 189 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:22,875 MERKEL, AND ONE OF THE SONGS THAT SHE REQUESTED A MARCHING 190 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,478 BAND PLAY WAS "DU HAST DEN FARBFILM 191 00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:28,981 VERGESSEN," OR "YOU FORGOT THE COLOR FILM," A 1974 PUNK ROCK 192 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,117 ANTHEM BY THE EAST GERMAN ARTIST NINA HAGEN. 193 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:37,156 WOOO! OF COURSE, MERKEL HAS ALWAYS 194 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,290 BEEN A LITTLE PUNK ROCK. WHO CAN FORGET WHEN SHE CROWD 195 00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:42,428 SURFED AT THE U.N. GENERAL ASSEMBLY. 196 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:47,133 ( LAUGHTER ) LEDERHOSEN? 197 00:12:47,199 --> 00:12:50,236 WHY, IT'S NONE OTHER THAN FORMER GERMAN VICE CHANCELLOR AND GUY 198 00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:53,606 SAYING, "WHO HAS TWO THUMBS AND ALSO LOOKS LIKE A THUMB?" 199 00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:59,111 OLAF SCHOLZ. WOOOOO!!!! 200 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:03,115 OLAF, BABY! NUMBER ONE OLAF FAN. 201 00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:03,983 WHEN I SAY OLAF, YOU SAY BUNDESKANZLER. 202 00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:11,724 OLAF! >> BUNDESKANZLER. 203 00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:17,296 >> OLAF! >> BUNDESKANZLER. 204 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:21,500 >> Stephen: IT'S A MUSICAL LANGUAGE THAT IS NOT AT ALL 205 00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:25,137 HORRIFYING TO HERE CHANTED. FLASH BACK, FLASH BACK, I WATCH 206 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:28,574 TOO MUCH HISTORY CHANNEL. BUT CHANCELLOR SCHOLZ ISN'T 207 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,543 UNIVERSALLY BELOVED. HE'S BEEN CRITICIZED BY AN 208 00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:33,579 OPPOSITION MEMBER FOR "GRINNING LIKE A MURF." 209 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,981 HEY, HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR! HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SMURF. 210 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:41,387 HE LOOKS LIKE HE EATS SMURFS. ( LAUGHTER ) 211 00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:44,089 THE COMPARISON, BECAUSE "SMURFS ARE SMALL, CRAFTY, AND ALWAYS 212 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:49,428 WIN." NICELY DONE, OLAF. 213 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:54,400 ALTHOUGH, I'M NOT SURE "I KNOW A TON ABOUT SMURFS" IS THE BITING 214 00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:55,568 COMEBACK THAT YOU THINK IT IS. ( AS SCHOLZ ) 215 00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:59,305 JOKE'S ON YOU: I VATCH EXCLUSIVELY DA KINDER -CARTOONS 216 00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,774 FROM THE 1980S. AH, VICTORY. 217 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:06,045 IT'S AS SWEET AS STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKES. 218 00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:09,381 BY DA POWER OF GRAYSKULL: I AM THE CHANCELLOR!" 219 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:16,555 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WOOO! 220 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:20,492 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 221 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:23,395 MY GUEST IS CBS NEWS COVID EXPERT DR. DAVID AGUS. 222 00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:27,066 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I EXPLAIN MODERN RELATIONSHIPS, AND THEN 223 00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:29,501 YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM. 224 00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:07,539 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK, 225 00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:08,641 EVERYBODY! JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 226 00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,476 RIGHT OVER THERE, BABY DOLL, THAT'S IT. 227 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:13,879 MAN, THERE'S AN ELECTRICITY-- THERE'S A-- THERE'S-- I THINK 228 00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:23,055 THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON IS IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW. 229 00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:26,358 I FEEL A REAL LIGHTNESS, A REAL ELECTRICITY IN THIS ROOM. 230 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,695 IT'S LIKE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR, THESE PEOPLE. 231 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,763 >> Jon: YEAH! I LIKE THAT. 232 00:15:30,829 --> 00:15:35,601 I LIKE THAT. >> Stephen: DON'T YOU FEEL IT? 233 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,137 JON, TONIGHT, WE HAVE DR. DAVID AGUS. 234 00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:43,676 HE IS ONE OF THE LEAD HEALTH AND COVID ANALYSTS FOR CBS NEWS. 235 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:46,245 BECAUSE WE FIGURED, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS 236 00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,713 ABOUT COVID THESE DAYS. >> Jon: DEFINITELY. 237 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,316 >> Stephen: WE HAVEN'T-- WE HAVEN'T, LIKE, NAILED DOWN 238 00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:53,485 WHAT'S GOING ON IN A WHILE. SO HE'S GOING TO ANSWER ALL-- 239 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:54,920 ALL THE QUESTIONS I'VE GOT TONIGHT. 240 00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:58,824 HE KNOWS ALL THE ANSWERS. >> Jon: OH, YEAH. 241 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,160 >> Stephen: HE KNOWS-- I CALL PEOPLE AND SAY, "HEY, CAN YOU 242 00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:05,264 TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON WITH COVID?" 243 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,834 THEY SAY, "WE'LL CALL YOU BACK" AND THEY CALL THIS GUY. 244 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:12,037 THAT'S A TRUE STORY. HE KNOWS ABOUT COVID. 245 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:15,541 HE KNOWS ALL THE LYRICS TO "LOUIE LOUIE." 246 00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:19,678 HE KNOWS THE WINNING LOTTO NUMBERS FOR NEXT WEEK. 247 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,380 PICK THREE. STICK AROUND FOR THAT EVERYBODY. 248 00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:25,617 >> THAT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. >> Stephen: IT WILL BE REALLY 249 00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:28,153 GOOD. YOU'LL LOSE MONEY IF YOU DON'T. 250 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,956 FOLKS, IF THERE'S ONE THING I LIKE, IT'S LOVE. 251 00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:34,326 IN FACT, I, LIKE, LIKE IT. BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE 252 00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:35,961 I'VE BEEN IN THE DATING WORLD. IN MY DAY, YOU COULDN'T EVEN 253 00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:41,567 SEND SOMEONE A SEXT. YOU HAD TO SEND THEM A SEX 254 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:44,169 PIGEON. "SHOW HER THE EGGPLANT!" 255 00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:50,843 ( LAUGHTER ) WITH NEW TERMS TO DEFINE 256 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:54,313 HARD-TO-UNDERSTAND MODERN RELATIONSHIPS. 257 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,148 AND I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE LATEST LOVE TRENDS IN 258 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:58,751 MY RECURRING SEGMENT: ♪ ♪ ♪ 259 00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:04,123 > "ROMANSPLAINING WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 260 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,592 >> Stephen: WELCOME TO ROMANSPLAINING. 261 00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:11,363 FIRST UP, ACCORDING TO A NEW SURVEY OF OVER 7,000 SINGLES, 262 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:15,734 ONE OF THE LATEST TRENDS IN DATING IS QUESTIONING WHETHER 263 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:20,172 YOU WANT TO DATE AT ALL. APPARENTLY, THAT'S CALLED 264 00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:22,107 "HESIDATING," OR "FEELING INDIFFERENT ABOUT DATING, UNSURE 265 00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,176 IF YOU WANT TO DATE SERIOUSLY OR CASUALLY, BECAUSE LIFE IN 266 00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:27,312 GENERAL IS SO UNCERTAIN RIGHT NOW." 267 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,582 I'M GUESSING THAT HAS A BIG IMPACT ON PICK-UP LINES: 268 00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:33,285 "HEY, I SAW YOU ACROSS THE BAR, AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT WONDER 269 00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:40,192 IF IT'S WORTH THE EFFORT TO EVER SPEAK TO ANYONE AT ALL. 270 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:44,196 ( LAUGHTER ) AND THE YAWNING VOID AWAITS. 271 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,698 ANYWAYS, WANNA GET OUTTA HERE? NOT SURE IF I DO." 272 00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:49,802 HESIDATING ISN'T THE ONLY NEW TREND. 273 00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:54,573 THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING CALLED "HAND-TICIPATION," WHICH SOUNDS 274 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,141 LIKE THE BREATHLESS EXCITEMENT THAT COMES WHEN A VICTORIAN 275 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:59,511 WOMAN FIRST REMOVES HER GLOVE. ( IN BRITISH ACCENT ) 276 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:04,149 KNUCKLE IS MORE GLORIOUS THAN I DARED IMAGINE!" 277 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:09,455 ( LAUGHTER ) ACTUALLY REFERS TO THE ANXIETY 278 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:12,791 THAT COMES WITH BEING UNSURE ABOUT THE PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES 279 00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:15,561 THAT ARE ACCEPTABLE DUE TO SOCIAL DISTANCING FROM THE 280 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:16,762 PANDEMIC, SUCH AS WHETHER TO HUG, HANDSHAKE, OR WAVE AT YOUR 281 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:20,199 DATE. OH, THERE ARE WAY MORE OPTIONS 282 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:23,268 THAN THAT! YOU GOT FINGER GUNS, THE LITTLE 283 00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:27,039 SALUTE. AND, OF COURSE, MY FAVORITE, 284 00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:28,373 THE TIPPING OF YOUR IMAGINARY HAT, ACCOMPANIED BY AN IRONIC 285 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,477 "M'LADY." ( LAUGHTER ) 286 00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:36,181 AWKWARDNESS... AND THE DATE. 287 00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:43,589 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO AVOID 288 00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:52,130 SOMEONE, THERE'S ANOTHER HOT TREND THIS YEAR. 289 00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,566 IT IS "DAR-WINING," WHICH IS SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN 290 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:57,669 SCIENCE. ( APPLAUSE ) 291 00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:00,539 BELIEVE IN SCIENCE, IT'S WAY EASIER TO BLOW THEM OFF: 292 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,241 "SORRY I CAN'T DO DRINKS TONIGHT. 293 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,176 MY BOAT IS SAILING OFF THE EDGE OF THE WORLD. 294 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:10,916 I'M LOSING RECEPTION. OKAY, BYEEEEEEE." 295 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:16,188 ANOTHER COVID-RELATED TREND IS THE ACT OF ENDING A SERIOUS 296 00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:20,292 RELATIONSHIP DUE TO PERSPECTIVE AND CLARITY GAINED DURING THE 297 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,227 PANDEMIC, WHICH IS KNOWN AS "RESIGNING." 298 00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:24,196 WHICH IS JUST LIKE BREAKING UP, EXCEPT YOU'RE REQUIRED TO GIVE 299 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:28,200 TWO WEEKS' NOTICE. ALL THIS MAKES ME REALIZE JUST 300 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,602 HOW MANY STILL-UNDEFINED RELATIONSHIPS THERE ARE OUT 301 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:34,473 THERE THAT HAVE NO NAME. SO I AM HERE TO ROMANSPLAIN SOME 302 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:39,311 OF THE MORE HYPER-SPECIFIC RELATIONSHIP TYPES FOR YOU. 303 00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:41,547 FOR STARTERS, THERE'S IF DAR-WINING DOESN'T SPEAK TO 304 00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,782 YOU, HOW ABOUT EINSTEIN-ING, WHICH IS WHEN YOU DUMP SOMEONE 305 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:48,186 BASED ON THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR 306 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:53,825 COUSIN. ( LAUGHTER ) 307 00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:59,598 TRUE LOVE, BUT MAYBE RIGHT NOW, YOU JUST NEED A "HOLI -BAE": 308 00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:03,835 A PERSON WHO'S YOUR SOULMATE, BUT ONLY FOR THE HOLIDAYS. 309 00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:06,438 "JUST GIVE ME THE AIR FRYER AND GET OUT." 310 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:12,177 ( LAUGHTER ) CATCHING ON IS SOUL-MATIES." 311 00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:15,213 THAT'S TWO PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, 312 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,214 BECAUSE THEY'RE TRAPPED ON THE SAME PIRATE SHIP. 313 00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:20,185 AND THEY'RE BOTH LOOKIN' FOR BOOTY. 314 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:23,989 ( LAUGHTER ) MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR A "ME -SOME," 315 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:32,164 WHICH IS WHEN YOU PUT YOURSELF FIRST BY MAKING EVERYONE AT THE 316 00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,733 THAT'S IT FOR "ROMANSPLAINING WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 317 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,968 JOIN ME NEXT TIME, WHEN I TELL YOU WHAT IT MEANS WHEN YOU HAVE 318 00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:40,138 AN EROTIC DREAM ABOUT TAKING A NAP. 319 00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,306 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CBS NEWS MEDICAL CONTRIBUTOR 320 00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:43,542 DR. DAVID AGUS. ♪ ♪ ♪ 321 00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:15,240 WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," ALREADY IN PROGRESS. 322 00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:19,478 FOLKS, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A MEDICAL CONTRIBUTOR FOR CBS NEWS 323 00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:21,346 AND THE CO-CHAIR OF THE GLOBAL HEALTH SECURITY CONSORTIUM. 324 00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:25,317 PLEASE WELCOME DR. DAVID AGUS! ♪ ♪ ♪ 325 00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:39,197 ( APPLAUSE ) EXPLAINING TO THE PEOPLE BEFORE, 326 00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:41,900 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. AS I WAS EXPLAINING TO THE 327 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:46,004 PEOPLE BEFORE, YOU'RE A BIG DEAL IN THE WHOLE KNOWING ABOUT COVID 328 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:48,173 WORLD. THE PEOPLE THAT I CALL, OR WE 329 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,376 CALL AROUND HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING TO BE HAPPENING, 330 00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:55,514 THEY GENERALLY CALL YOU AND SAY, "THIS IS WHATTING AUS SAID." 331 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:59,751 I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE SINCE WE'RE GETTING ALL THIS NEW 332 00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:03,488 INFORMATION THIS FALL, WE THOUGHT WE KNEW WERE THINGS WERE 333 00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:07,492 GOING, AND DELTA CAME, AND WE THOUGHT WE'LL RIDE THIS OUT. 334 00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:14,433 AND THEN OMICRON IS SHOWING UP. I WANT TO GET A BASELINE READING 335 00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:16,568 FROM THE WORLD OF COVID IF YOU CAN DO THAT. 336 00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:19,504 >> GOT IT, I CAN DO THAT. >> Stephen: IN TWO YEARS, 337 00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:24,309 WE'VE SEEN 12 COVID VARIANTS. THE NEWEST IS OMICRON, AS I 338 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:25,644 SAID. THERE'S A MARKET IN THE MEDIA 339 00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:29,381 FOR GRABBING OUR ATTENTION AND MAKING EVERYTHING BRAKING NEWS-- 340 00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,550 >> WAY TOO MUCH OF A MARKET. >> Stephen: AND FLAMING 341 00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:32,684 CHRISTMAS TREES. ( LAUGHTER ) 342 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:35,821 THOUGH? >> ABOUT OMICRON? 343 00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:38,724 >> Stephen: YES. >> SO RIGHT NOW, DELTA IS, 344 00:22:38,790 --> 00:22:40,225 OBVIOUSLY, HERE IN THE UNITED STATES. 345 00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:46,098 99% OF CASES, 119,000 PEOPLE NEWLY DIAGNOSED TODAY AND 1600 346 00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:47,699 DEATHS TODAY FROM DELTA VARIANT IN THE UNITED STATES. 347 00:22:47,766 --> 00:22:50,302 >> Stephen: NOW THAT'S-- >> WE CAN'T FORGET ABOUT THAT. 348 00:22:50,368 --> 00:22:54,973 >> Stephen: THAT'S A LEVEL WE HAVE NOT NOT SEEN UNTIL LATE 349 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,208 WINTER, EARLY SPRING OF LAST YEAR. 350 00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:59,478 >> RIGHT. IT'S A PERFECT STORM. 351 00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:03,482 COVID FATIGUE, IT'S COLDER, AND PEOPLE ARE GOING INDOORS, AND 352 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:06,718 THESE ARE MAINLY PEOPLE UNVACCINATED IN THE I.C.U.s. 353 00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:12,724 OVER 90% OF THE PEOPLE IN THE I.C.U.S ARE UNTHE VACCINATED. 354 00:23:12,791 --> 00:23:16,461 OMICRON WAS ORIGINALLY OBSERVED IN AFRICA, AND IT IS A VARIANT 355 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:19,865 THAT IS RADICALLY DIFFERENT. OVER A MILLION YEARS OF HUMAN 356 00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:22,200 EVOLUTION, OUR GENOME CHANGED 1%. 357 00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:26,271 OVER ONE DAY, THIS VIRUS CAN CHANGE 1%, AND IT DID. 358 00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:28,406 AND SO THERE ARE 40 DIFFERENT CHANGES IN THE SPIKE PROTEIN. 359 00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:32,477 SO IT'S VERY DIFFERENT. AND IT DID SO, AND IT'S GETTING 360 00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:33,945 AROUND SOME OF THE EARLY VACCINES. 361 00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:37,516 AND THAT'S WHAT WORRIED US. SO THIS IS TREMENDOUSLY 362 00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:40,218 INFECTIOUS, ALMOST TWICE AS INFEX AS DELTA. 363 00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:45,323 SO ON NOVEMBER 23, THERE WAS ONE CASE IN SOUTH AFRICA. 364 00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:49,561 NOW IT'S 90% OF THE CASES IN THE COUNTRY. 365 00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:53,698 THAT'S IN A MATTER OF WEEKS. SO IT SPREADS LIKE WILDFIRE. 366 00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:57,269 >> Stephen: IS IT TRUE THAT PREVIOUS, NATURAL IMMUNITY FROM 367 00:23:57,335 --> 00:24:00,338 HAVING HAD COVID IS NOT APPLICABLE IN THIS CASE, THAT IT 368 00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:03,708 GOES AROUND THAT. DO WE KNOW THAT? 369 00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:07,179 >> PREVIOUS COVID DOES NOT REALLY HELP YOU WITH THE 370 00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:09,614 OMICRON, AND TWO SHOTS OF THE VACCINE PROBABLY DOESN'T HELP 371 00:24:09,681 --> 00:24:13,185 YOU THAT MUCH WITH OMICRON. >> Stephen: WHEN THAT WAS 372 00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:17,589 ANYWHERE FROM MID-80s TO EARLY 90s, IN TERMS OF THE EFFICACY 373 00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:19,624 TO KEEPING YOU SAFE. >> 100%. 374 00:24:19,691 --> 00:24:22,494 IT WORKED AGAINST THE OTHER VARIANTS REMARKABLY WELL. 375 00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:25,397 WE GOT FREAKING LUCKY WITH THESE VACCINES. 376 00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:28,667 THEY WERE AWESOME. THERE WEREN'T REAL SIDE EFFECTS 377 00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:32,204 AND THEY PROTECTED SERIOUS ILLNESS IN ALMOST EVERYBODY 378 00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:34,639 WHICH IS REALLY WILD. BUT OMICRON IS GOING AROUND IT A 379 00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:38,410 LITTLE BIT, AND THAT'S WHAT GOT US WORRY GLD PFIZER SAID, I 380 00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:42,480 THINK IT WAS JUST TODAY, THAT THREE SHOTS PROTECTS YOU AGAINST 381 00:24:42,547 --> 00:24:44,349 OMICRON. >> THAT'S REALLY COOL, THE 382 00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:47,152 BOOSTER SHOT. EVERYONE SAYS THE BOOSTER SHOTS 383 00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:48,753 MEANS THE VACCINES ARE NOT GREAT. 384 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,890 THE VIRUS CHANGED. THE VACCINES WERE MADE FOR THE 385 00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:54,793 ORIGINAL VARIANT IDENTIFIED IN WUHAN, AND NOW WE HAVE A NEW 386 00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:56,428 VIRUS, BASICALLY, BECAUSE IT REALLY CHANGED. 387 00:24:56,494 --> 00:24:58,163 >> Stephen: IT'S NOT A NEW VACCINE, JUST MORE OF IT. 388 00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:03,702 >> RIGHT, A THIRD SHOT, A BOOSTER SHOT, RAISES IMMUNITY 389 00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:06,404 30-FOLD, AND BY DOING THAT YOU HAVE ENOUGH IMMUNITY TO FIGHT 390 00:25:06,471 --> 00:25:08,740 OFF OMICRON. WHEN YOU GET THIS VACCINE THERE 391 00:25:08,807 --> 00:25:11,943 ARE 10 SPOTS YOU ATTACK ON THAT SPIKE PROTEIN. 392 00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:14,779 OMICRON LOST SEVEN OF THEM. SO YOU NEED A REALLY HIGH LEVEL 393 00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:18,450 TO BE ABLE TO GET RID OF IT WITH THOSE THREE SPOTS. 394 00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:22,988 A BOOSTER SHOT GIVES THAT. THAT DATA FROM PFIZER, I WAS 395 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:24,322 CHEERING THIS MORNING, THAT WAS GREAT. 396 00:25:24,389 --> 00:25:25,757 >> Stephen: NOW, I'M A MODERNA MAN-- 397 00:25:25,824 --> 00:25:27,425 >> I'M SORRY. >> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT THEY 398 00:25:27,492 --> 00:25:30,562 HAD WHEN I WALKED INTO THE ABANDONED K-MART. 399 00:25:30,629 --> 00:25:33,398 THEY GAVE ME THE MODERNA. YOU KNOW, IT WAS ONE OF THOSE 400 00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,800 PLACES, YOU KNOW. DOES THIS APPLY TO MODERNA, TOO? 401 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:40,772 DO WE KNOW THE THIRD SHOT OF MODERNA OR A SECOND SHOT OF J&J, 402 00:25:40,839 --> 00:25:43,575 OR DO WE KNOW, OR DO WE MIX AND MATCH AT THIS POINT? 403 00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:46,211 >> WE DON'T KNOW BUT WE WILL. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW, 404 00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:47,679 BUT YES. THAT'S SCIENCE, RIGHT? 405 00:25:47,746 --> 00:25:52,284 >> YES, THE SPIKE PROTEIN IS VERY SIMILAR IN ALL OF THEMPLE, 406 00:25:52,350 --> 00:25:56,321 SO WE SHOULD SEE EXACTLY THAT SAME RESULT WITH MODERNA. 407 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:59,457 THE DATA IS AVAILABLE YET. IN SOUTH AFRICA THEY GAVE 408 00:25:59,524 --> 00:26:01,626 PFIZER, AND THERE WAS A LOT OF SCIENCE DONE IN SOUTH AFRICA AND 409 00:26:01,693 --> 00:26:06,464 THEY DIDN'T HAVE MODERNA THERE. MODERNA STUDIES ARE ONGOING NOW. 410 00:26:06,531 --> 00:26:11,169 IT WILL COME OUT IN THE NEXT STUDY. 411 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:14,506 ANY OF THE BOOSTERS WILL GIVE YOU PROTECTION RIGHT NOW, WE 412 00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:16,341 THINK, FROM OMICRON. >> Stephen: NOW, YOU USED A 413 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:20,278 TERM A MOMENT AGO THAT I'VE BEEN HEARING A LOT, WHICH IS, OH, 414 00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:24,482 THERE'S A 25-FOLD OR 41-FOLD OR 75-FOLD INCREASE OR DECREASE. 415 00:26:24,549 --> 00:26:27,285 WHAT IS THIS FOLD? BECAUSE A YEAR AGO, THEY WERE 416 00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:31,756 JUST SAYING IT WAS EITHER 75% EFFECTIVE OR 82 OR 93. 417 00:26:31,823 --> 00:26:33,925 WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT FOLDS NOW? 418 00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:37,963 >> BECAUSE WHEN WE KIND OF GO INTO THESE NUMBERS IT MAKES US 419 00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:40,332 LOOK SMARTER AND THAT'S OUR GOAL HERE. 420 00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:43,268 WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IS THE AMOUNT OF ANTIBODIES IN THE 421 00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:45,203 BLOOD. ANTIBODIES BIND ON TO A VIRUS 422 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:49,107 AND CLEAR IT AWAY. AND YOU GET ABOUT A 40-FOLD 423 00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:51,776 INCREASE IN THE NUMBER OF THOSE MOLECULES WHEN YOU GET THAT 424 00:26:51,843 --> 00:26:53,611 BOOSTER. >> Stephen: HOW DOES THAT 425 00:26:53,678 --> 00:26:56,281 TRANSLATE INTO PERCENTAGE EFFECTIVENESS, WHICH WAS THE 426 00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:57,749 STANDARD WE WERE BEING TOLD A YEAR AGO? 427 00:26:57,816 --> 00:27:04,656 >> UM, THEY'RE NOT REALLY APPLICABLE TO EACH OTHER. 428 00:27:04,723 --> 00:27:07,125 STANDARD EFFECTIVENESS BEFORE, WAS 90% YOU WOULDN'T GET SICK, 429 00:27:07,192 --> 00:27:09,094 AND IF YOU DID GET SICK YOU WEREN'T VERY SICK. 430 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,764 WITH THIS BOOSTER IT'S GO TO BE ABOUT THE SAME. 431 00:27:12,831 --> 00:27:14,532 THAT'S THE GOOD. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A 432 00:27:14,599 --> 00:27:15,734 QUCK BREAK, BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE. 433 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,303 WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE DR. DAVID AGUS. 434 00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:36,321 WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW." WE'RE HERE TALKING CORONAVIRUS 435 00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:42,494 WITH DR. DAVID AGUS. DOCTOR, WILL THERE EVER BE AN 436 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,996 END TO VARIANTS? I MEAN, SCIENTIFICALLY, WHEN WE 437 00:27:45,063 --> 00:27:49,467 RUN OUT OF GREEK LETTERS IT HAS TO BE OVER, RIGHT? 438 00:27:49,534 --> 00:27:52,504 >> I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BUT YOU'RE RIGHT. 439 00:27:52,570 --> 00:27:55,173 NO, WE'RE GOING TO KEEP HAVING VARIANTS. 440 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,508 THIS IS SOMETHING WE'RE GOING TO LIVE WITH. 441 00:27:56,574 --> 00:27:59,244 WE'RE GETTING BETTER AT DEALING WITH IT, AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO 442 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:02,247 PANIC EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS. AND WE'VE DEVELOPED A 443 00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:06,384 SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM AROUND THE GLOBE WHERE LITERALLY EVERY 444 00:28:06,451 --> 00:28:08,720 COUNTRYNOW, WE'RE SEQUENCING THE VIRUS AND LOOKING FOR THIS 445 00:28:08,787 --> 00:28:10,221 POPPING UP. >> Stephen: WHY DID THE 446 00:28:10,288 --> 00:28:14,392 SPANISH FLU GO AWAY IN 1920, APPROXIMATELY? 447 00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:20,231 AND-- AND WE-- WE WERE LIKE THERE IS ANOTHER VARIANT OF THE 448 00:28:20,298 --> 00:28:23,635 SPANISH FLU? WHY IS IT GONE AND THIS WILL 449 00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:26,671 LINGER FOREVER? >> WE IS HAVE HAD A LOT OF FLU 450 00:28:26,738 --> 00:28:29,541 AND THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER ONES. SPANISH FLU WAS BAD, AND WE 451 00:28:29,607 --> 00:28:31,209 DIDN'T HAVE THE TRAVEL WE DO NOW. 452 00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:36,848 BACK IN 1918, YOU DIDN'T GO ON A PLANE AND FLY TO AFRICA AND FLY 453 00:28:36,915 --> 00:28:40,985 TO EUROPE AND FLY TO ASIA. IT TOOK US THREE YEARS TO GET 454 00:28:41,052 --> 00:28:43,188 RID OF THE SPANISH FLU. WE SOCIAL DISTANCED. 455 00:28:43,254 --> 00:28:45,657 WE QUARANTINED. WE SHUT DOWN CHURCHES, WE SHUT 456 00:28:45,723 --> 00:28:47,492 DOWN SCHOOLS, AND OVER TIME IT WENT AWAY. 457 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,528 AND WE'LL SEE THE SAME THING HERE. 458 00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:52,931 AND THEREBY, JUST LIKE WE HAVE THE FLU EVERY YEAR, THERE WILL 459 00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:56,234 BE CORONAVIRUSES EVERY YEAR THAT ARE A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT. 460 00:28:56,301 --> 00:28:57,569 SOMETIMES WE'LL GET A VARIANT-SPECIFIC BOOSTER, OTHERS 461 00:28:57,635 --> 00:29:00,772 WE MIGHT GET A STANDARD BOOSTER AND WE'LL KEEP GOING ON THIS AND 462 00:29:00,839 --> 00:29:03,007 WE'LL BE SAFE AND WE'RE GOING BACK TO A NEW NORMAL. 463 00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:06,144 >> Stephen: WHEN IT COMES TO THE BOOSTERS IF THREE IS GOOD, 464 00:29:06,211 --> 00:29:10,115 IS FOUR BETTER? BECAUSE-- I WANT TO POINT OUT-- 465 00:29:10,181 --> 00:29:14,219 ON THE LITTLE CARD THAT I GOT, IMMUNIZATION CARD, THERE WERE 466 00:29:14,285 --> 00:29:16,054 FOUR LINES. ( LAUGHTER ) 467 00:29:16,121 --> 00:29:19,457 COMING. >> HOW BACKWARD IS OUR SYSTEM 468 00:29:19,524 --> 00:29:23,361 THAT WE HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER THAT SAYS WHETHER YOU WERE 469 00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:25,130 VACCINATED OR NOT AND HOW YOU GOT IT? 470 00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:28,533 THAT WE DON'T HAVE AN ELECTRONIC SYSTEM, A CLOUD -BASED SYSTEM. 471 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,803 IT'S NOT ON OUR PHONE. WE HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER THAT'S 472 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:33,705 THE STANDARD OF CARE IN THE UNITED STATES. 473 00:29:33,771 --> 00:29:37,675 BUT YES, FOUR WILL GIVE YOU AN EVEN HIGHER LEVEL OF IMMUNITY. 474 00:29:37,742 --> 00:29:40,512 AND THERE ARE SIDE EFFECTS -- >> Stephen: HOW ABOUT A 475 00:29:40,578 --> 00:29:42,547 BAKKER'S DOZEN? WHY NOT JUST HAVE PEOPLE THROW 476 00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:48,386 THEM AT YOU LIKE A DART BOARD? >> WELL, YOUR EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 477 00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:55,226 BY THE WAY IS THE FIRST ONE IN THE COUNTRY WHO WILL GET A 478 00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:57,996 BAKERAS DOZEN BOOSTER. >> Stephen: YES. 479 00:29:58,062 --> 00:30:00,598 WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. BUT STICK AROUND. 480 00:30:00,665 --> 00:30:04,302 WHEN WE COME BACK, DR. AGUS WILL TELL US GOOD NEWS ABOUT THE 481 00:30:04,369 --> 00:30:06,304 FIGHT AGAINST THE PANDEMIC. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 482 00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:33,898 THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING BACK. WE'RE HERE WITH CBS NEWS MEDICAL 483 00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:38,303 CONTRIBUTOR DR. DAVID AGUS. LAST JANUARY, THE VIRUS SPIKED 484 00:30:38,369 --> 00:30:44,842 AFTER THE HOLIDAYS. AND WE'RE ALREADY SEEING A SPIKE 485 00:30:44,909 --> 00:30:46,945 AFTER THANKSGIVING. AS YOU SAID, IT'S LIKE 100 AND 486 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:48,813 HOW MANY-- >> 119,000. 487 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:53,051 >> Stephen: 119,000. HOW CAN PEOPLE TRAVEL AND 488 00:30:53,117 --> 00:30:56,888 CELEBRATE SAFELY THIS YEAR? >> SO, TRAVEL IS SAFE. 489 00:30:56,955 --> 00:31:00,258 AIRPLANES ARE SAFE. EVERY THREE OR FOUR MINUTES, THE 490 00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:03,328 ENTIRE CIRCULATION OF THE AIR GOES THROUGH A HEPA FILTER AND 491 00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:08,032 VIRUS IS FILTERED OUT. WE WEAR A MASK ON AN AIRLINE. 492 00:31:08,099 --> 00:31:10,935 I FLEW HERE FROM LOS ANGELES. I AM COMFORTABLE ON AN AIRLINE. 493 00:31:11,002 --> 00:31:13,238 >> Stephen: PART OF THE FILTER ISN'T ME BREATHING IN THE AIR 494 00:31:13,304 --> 00:31:16,074 AND BREATHING IT OUT? >> WE'RE BLOCKING THE DROPLETS 495 00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:19,844 WITH THE MASK AND THERE'S GOOD AIR FLOW, SO WITH GOOD AIR FLOW 496 00:31:19,911 --> 00:31:22,146 AND THE MASK THE RISK IS VERY, VERY LOW. 497 00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:25,617 I FLY ON A PLANE WHERE I CAN SIT ALONE OR SIT WITH SOMEBODY I 498 00:31:25,683 --> 00:31:29,520 KNOW AND I CHOOSE THE SEATS APPROPRIATELY. 499 00:31:29,587 --> 00:31:32,023 ANTIGEN TESTING, SOMETHING THE PRESIDENT TALKED ABOUT TWO WEEKS 500 00:31:32,090 --> 00:31:34,926 AGO WHEN HE GAVE HIS NEWS CONFERENCE-- I THINK IT WAS TWO 501 00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:38,463 WEEKS AGO. I LOST THE ABILITY TO TELL TIME 502 00:31:38,529 --> 00:31:41,032 AND WHEN THINGS HAPPENING DURING THE PANDEMIC. 503 00:31:41,099 --> 00:31:44,736 HE TALKED ABOUT EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY FOR NOW FOR FREE, THE 504 00:31:44,802 --> 00:31:49,507 INSURANCE COMPANIES WILL PAY, CAN GET AN ANTIGEN TEST. 505 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:53,645 YOU SWAP YOURSELF AND PUT IT ON A PIECE OF PAPER IN A PLASTIC 506 00:31:53,711 --> 00:31:56,714 CARTRIDGE AND IT TELLS YOU IA YOU'RE INFECTED WITH COVID OR 507 00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:58,383 NOT. >> Stephen: ONE LINE YOU'RE 508 00:31:58,449 --> 00:32:01,019 NOT INFECTED, AND TWO LINES AND YOU'RE PREGNANT. 509 00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:03,187 WORKS WILL THE SAME WAY. >> BUT IT'S VERY POWERFUL. 510 00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:09,093 SO BEFORE OUR THANKSGIVING DINNER, WHEN FAMILY CAME OVER WE 511 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,928 DID THAT TEST. IT'S A LEVEL OF INSURANCE THAT 512 00:32:10,995 --> 00:32:13,331 YOU'RE NOT INFECTIOUS. >> Stephen: IF SOMEONE DOES 513 00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:15,667 GET COVID,s HOW IS TREATMENT CHANGING? 514 00:32:15,733 --> 00:32:17,635 >> SO, THIS IS PRETTY WILD, RIGHT. 515 00:32:17,702 --> 00:32:20,405 EARLY ON, IF YOU GOT COVID AND WENT ON A VENTILATOR, YOUR 516 00:32:20,471 --> 00:32:24,142 CHANCE OF SURVIVAL WAS 20%. SIX MONTHS INTO THE PANDEMIC, 517 00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:26,277 THAT NUMBER WENT UP TO 80% WITH NO DRUGS. 518 00:32:26,344 --> 00:32:28,212 WE JUST GOT BETTER AT CARING FOR IT. 519 00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:31,015 AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE'RE STARTING TO GET SOME DRUGS. 520 00:32:31,082 --> 00:32:38,089 THERE IS A DRUG THAT WILL BE ANNOUNCED, F.D.A., E.U.A. 521 00:32:38,156 --> 00:32:40,625 APPROVAL, EMERGENCY USE AUTHORIZATION FROM PFIZER, IT'S 522 00:32:40,692 --> 00:32:43,227 A PILL CALLED A PROTEASE INHIBITOR. 523 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:45,930 VIRUSES ARE NOT ALIVE. THEY GO INTO OUR CELLS AND USE 524 00:32:45,997 --> 00:32:49,033 OUR MACHINERY TO DIVIDE, AND THIS IS THE FIRST DRUG DESIGNED 525 00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:52,337 FOR COVID THAT BLOCKS THAT. SO TAKING A PILL FOR FIVE DAYS, 526 00:32:52,403 --> 00:32:56,341 IF YOU'RE EARLY ON, WILL BLOCK YOU FROM BEING HOSPITALIZED. 527 00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:57,575 THAT'S REMARKABLE. ( APPLAUSE ). 528 00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:03,414 THIS IS THE IMPORTANT THING-- WHEN-- WHEN DO WE GET THAT? 529 00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:04,782 WHEN IS THAT AVAILABLE? >> THE NEXT WEEK OR TWO. 530 00:33:04,849 --> 00:33:06,851 >> Stephen: YOU'RE KIDDING! >> I'M SERIOUS. 531 00:33:06,918 --> 00:33:08,519 >> Stephen: THAT'S EXTRAORDINARY! 532 00:33:08,586 --> 00:33:12,357 ( APPLAUSE ) BECAUSE THAT SEEMS LIKE A REAL 533 00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:14,959 RETURN TO NORMALITY. >> AND GET A LOD OF THIS -- 534 00:33:15,026 --> 00:33:17,662 >> Stephen: I'M READY TO GET LOADED. 535 00:33:17,729 --> 00:33:22,200 >> TODAY, TODAY, THE F.D.A. GAVE AUTHORIZATION FOR 4% OF OUR 536 00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:24,802 COUNTRY ARE IMMUNE SUPPRESSED. THEY HAVE CANCER. 537 00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:28,506 THEY HAVE AUTO IMMUNE DISEASE. THEY CAN'T RESPOND TO A VACCINE 538 00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:31,209 AND THEY'VE BEEN SHUT INSIDE. THERE IS NOW AN ANTIBODY 539 00:33:31,275 --> 00:33:35,079 APPROVED TODAY THAT IS A SHOT IN THE ARM THAT GIVES YOU 12 MONTHS 540 00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:37,782 PREXZ FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T RESPOND TO A VACCINE. 541 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:39,050 >> Stephen: IT'S NOT A VACCINE. 542 00:33:39,117 --> 00:33:40,218 WHAT IS IT? >> IT'S A MONOCLONAL ANTIBODIES 543 00:33:40,284 --> 00:33:41,652 THAT IS LONG LASTING. INSTEAD OF LASTING A MONTH LIKE 544 00:33:41,719 --> 00:33:45,757 THE CURRENT ONES DO, THIS LASTS A YEAR AND IS ABLE TO PROTECT 545 00:33:45,823 --> 00:33:48,159 PEOPLE WHO ARE IMMUNE SUPPRESSED. 546 00:33:48,226 --> 00:33:50,962 >> Stephen: SO INSTEAD OF-- LET ME SEE IF I UNDERSTAND THIS. 547 00:33:51,028 --> 00:33:53,898 IF YOU'RE INJECTING ANTIBODIES, THAT MEANS YOU'RE NOT PUTTING 548 00:33:53,965 --> 00:33:58,703 SOMETHING IN TO GET YOUR BODY TO REGISTER AND MAKE YOUR OWN 549 00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:01,372 ANTIBODIES YOU'RE PROVIDING THE ANTIBODY. 550 00:34:01,439 --> 00:34:03,641 >> EXACTLY. WE'RE GIVING THEM ANTIBODIES AND 551 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,511 GIVE THEM PROTECTION. SO YOU'RE ENABLING THEM TO SEE 552 00:34:06,577 --> 00:34:10,681 THEIR GRANDKIDS, TO TALK TO THEIR NEIGHBORS, TO GO TO THE 553 00:34:10,748 --> 00:34:11,682 SUPERMARKET. THIS IS A BIG STEP. 554 00:34:11,749 --> 00:34:14,519 THESE ARE EXCITING, WE HAVE THESE TREATMENTS. 555 00:34:14,585 --> 00:34:17,121 AND WE HAVE THE STANDARD MONOCLONAL ANTIBODIESES. 556 00:34:17,188 --> 00:34:20,691 SOME WORK AGAINST OMICRON. IF YOU GET SICK AND IT'S EARLY 557 00:34:20,758 --> 00:34:23,361 WE CAN GIVE YOU THAT INFUSION AND STOP THE VIRUS COLD. 558 00:34:23,428 --> 00:34:25,530 WE ARE MUCH BETTER AT DEALING WITH IT. 559 00:34:25,596 --> 00:34:27,365 THE KEY TO ALL OF THIS, THOUGH, IS VACCINE. 560 00:34:27,432 --> 00:34:31,836 AND I CAN'T SAY IT DANNY. IF WE VACCINATE, WE CAN STOP 561 00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,271 THIS VIRUS. >> Stephen: DO YOU SEE ANY 562 00:34:33,337 --> 00:34:36,307 HOPE THAT VACCINE RATES ARE INCREASING? 563 00:34:36,374 --> 00:34:37,742 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: OKAY-- REALLY? 564 00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:41,512 >> FEAR OF OMICRON. I MEAN, YOU HATE TO SAY IT, FEAR 565 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,014 IS GETTING PEOPLE TO BE VACCINATED. 566 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:47,051 >> Stephen: SO I STARTED THIS INTERVIEW BY NOT HYPING THE 567 00:34:47,118 --> 00:34:51,489 FEAR, BUT MAYBE I SHOULD BE HYPING THE FEAR TO GET PEOPLE TO 568 00:34:51,556 --> 00:34:53,224 VACCINATE. >> GOOD POINT. 569 00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:57,595 ( LAUGHTER ) AMONG THE UNVACCINATEDOF 570 00:34:57,662 --> 00:34:58,796 OMICRON. AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST TOLD YOU 571 00:34:58,863 --> 00:35:01,933 THE BOOSTERS WILL WORK. SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FEAR IF 572 00:35:01,999 --> 00:35:04,836 YOU HAVE HAD A BOOSTER. GET THAT BOOSTER. 573 00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:07,271 BUT WE'RE SEEING, OVER THE LAST TWO WEEKS, REALLY NUMBERS GOING 574 00:35:07,338 --> 00:35:09,907 UP, WHERE SEVERAL MILLION PEOPLE A DAY IN THE COUNTRY ARE BEING 575 00:35:09,974 --> 00:35:12,677 VACCINATED OR GETTING A BOOSTER. AND THAT'S NEW. 576 00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:15,746 IT HAD DIPPED FOR A WHILE, AND NOW IT'S COMING BACK UP, WHICH 577 00:35:15,813 --> 00:35:17,081 IS GOOD. ( APPLAUSE ). 578 00:35:17,148 --> 00:35:20,251 SO MUCH. DR. DAVID AGUS, EVERYBODY! 579 00:35:20,318 --> 00:35:24,155 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY NATALIE HEMBY. 580 00:35:35,566 --> 00:35:38,936 TRACK FROM HER ALBUM, "PINS AND NEEDLES," NATALIE HEMBY! 581 00:35:39,003 --> 00:35:46,444 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 582 00:35:46,511 --> 00:35:54,018 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ GIVE IT UP, DON'T TRY 583 00:35:54,085 --> 00:35:58,990 IS WHAT I TELL MYSELF ♪ BUT IT'S LIKE RUNNING AWAY 584 00:35:59,056 --> 00:36:06,964 FROM RAIN IN THE DESERT ♪ STUMBLED UP, BLACKED OUT 585 00:36:07,031 --> 00:36:08,733 DON'T KNOW HOW HARD I FELL ♪ BUT I'VE BEEN CRAWLING TO YOU 586 00:36:08,799 --> 00:36:14,972 EVER SINCE WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER ♪ I'M WORKING OVERTIME 587 00:36:15,039 --> 00:36:19,911 FOLLOWING CLOSE BEHIND ♪ YOU GOT MY NUMBER, MY THUNDER 588 00:36:19,977 --> 00:36:25,516 AND IT'S YOUR THUMB THAT I'M UNDER 589 00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:30,988 ♪ I'M SINKING IN YOUR SAND YOU GOT THE UPPER HAND 590 00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:34,992 ♪ I'VE GOT YOU ON CLOUD NINE YOU GOT ME ON 591 00:36:35,059 --> 00:36:46,971 PINS AND NEEDLES ♪ DIGGING MY OWN GRAVE 592 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:49,507 EVERY TIME YOU WALK THAT WAY ♪ YOU BURY ME WITH YOUR LACK OF 593 00:36:49,574 --> 00:36:57,915 GOOD INTENTIONS ♪ WELL, HONEY, YOU GOT ME 594 00:36:57,982 --> 00:36:59,550 BEGGING, HURTING ON MY KNEES ♪ AND IT'S THE KIND OF PAIN 595 00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:06,357 THAT I CAN'T LOSE ♪ FOR THE WINNING 596 00:37:06,424 --> 00:37:08,893 ♪ I'M WORKING OVERTIME FOLLOWING CLOSE BEHIND 597 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:12,196 ♪ YOU GOT MY NUMBER, MY THUNDER AND IT'S YOUR THUMB 598 00:37:12,263 --> 00:37:18,970 THAT I'M UNDER ♪ I'M SINKING IN YOUR SAND 599 00:37:19,036 --> 00:37:23,174 YOU'VE GOT THE UPPER HAND ♪ I GOT YOU ON CLOUD NINE 600 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:31,983 YOU GOT ME ON PINS AND NEEDLES 601 00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:40,992 ♪ SELF-RESPECT THERE'S NOTHING LEFT 602 00:37:41,058 --> 00:37:49,767 BUT IT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE ♪ I'M ENAMORED BY THE HAMMER 603 00:37:49,834 --> 00:37:58,643 LAYING DOWN ON ME ♪ I'M WORKING OVERTIME 604 00:37:58,709 --> 00:38:02,079 FOLLOWING CLOSE BEHIND ♪ YOU GOT MY NUMBER, MY THUNDER 605 00:38:02,146 --> 00:38:07,518 AND IT'S YOUR AH, AH ♪ I'M SINKING IN YOUR SAND 606 00:38:07,585 --> 00:38:13,491 YOU GOT THE UPPER HAND ♪ I'VE GOT YOU ON CLOUD NINE 607 00:38:13,557 --> 00:38:23,000 YOU GOT ME ON PINS AND NEEDLES 608 00:38:23,067 --> 00:38:29,640 ♪ PINS AND NEEDLES ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 609 00:38:29,707 --> 00:38:32,510 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) EVERYBODY! 610 00:38:32,576 --> 00:38:35,279 THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST 611 00:38:35,346 --> 00:38:38,282 WILL BE MICHAEL B. JORDAN. JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 612 00:38:38,349 --> 00:38:40,751 CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 1,000th SHOW. 613 00:38:40,818 --> 00:38:42,153 GOOD NIGHT.