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00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:05,872
TWO HIPPOS IN BELGIUM HAVE
TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID,
THE
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00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,941
FIRST KNOWN CASES IN THE
SPECIES.
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00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:12,345
OFFICIALS AT THE BELGIAN ZOO
SAY THE HIPPOPOTAMUS HAVE
BEEN
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00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:16,316
PLACED IN ISOLATION AFTER
BEING INFECTED WITH THE
VIRUS.
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00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,450
>> NEW FROM HASBRO, IT'S
COVID COVID HIPPOS.
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00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:27,160
>> THE OBJECT OF THE GAME IS
TO
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00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:36,369
EAT MARBLES AND IGNORE
SCIENCE.
8
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:40,573
>> I'M ILL!
>> COVID COVID HIPPOS.
9
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,541
ALSO TRY OUR OTHER
SUPER-SPREADER GAME, CRUISE
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00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:48,348
SHIP.
>> YOU INFECTED MY WHOLE
SHIP!
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00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:51,651
>> YEAH!
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00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,053
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
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00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:59,959
TONIGHT:
VAX EVASION.
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00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:05,432
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
DR. DAVID AGUS
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00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:09,235
AND MUSICAL GUEST, NATALIE
HEMBY
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00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:12,772
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND
STAY HUMAN.
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00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:19,112
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM
THE
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00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:23,817
ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW
YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN
COLBERT!
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00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:26,386
♪ ♪ ♪
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00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:39,232
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
PERFECT.
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00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:43,736
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
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FEELING GOOD.
FEELING GOOD.
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00:01:48,074 --> 00:01:51,377
LOOKING GOOD.
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
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00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:55,448
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
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STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
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>> Stephen: HAPPY...
( CHEERING )
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00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,753
HAPPY WEDNESDAY.
HAPPY WEDNESDAY, EVERYBODY.
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00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:05,959
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY, DOWN
HERE, UP THERE, ALL AROUND
THE WORLD.
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00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:09,562
WELCOME, WELCOME, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, TO "THE LATE
SHOW."
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00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:14,200
♪ ♪ ♪
WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
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I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN
COLBERT. THE HOLIDAY SEASON
IS IN FULL
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00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,806
SWING ALREADY HERE IN NEW
YORK. THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
ARE BURNING
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00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,742
BRIGHT, ESPECIALLY OVER AT
FOX NEWS HEADQUARTERS, WHERE
LAST
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00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:27,814
NIGHT, THE FOX NEWS
CHRISTMAS TREE WAS SET ON
FIRE.
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00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,616
( LAUGHTER )
THINKING, BUT THE GHOST OF
HUGO
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00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:32,352
CHAVEZ HAS AN ALIBI!
THANKFULLY, NO ONE WAS HURT.
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00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,387
BUT WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT
A COUPLE OF TOASTED PINE
CONES
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00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,923
HERE.
TAKE A LOOK:
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00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:43,062
CRISPY KRINGLES!
OF COURSE, THIS NEVER WOULD
HAVE
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00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:50,169
HAPPENED IF THE TREE HAD A
GUN. ( LAUGHTER )
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00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:53,973
COME ON.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
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00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:59,379
YOU GOTTA-- GIVEAVE
SQUIRREL-- GIVE A SQUIRREL A
GUN OR
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00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,714
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
AND FOX NEWS TRIED TO WARN
US
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00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,917
THIS WAS COMING.
EVERY TIME A STORE CLERK
SAYS,
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00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,952
"HAPPY HOLIDAYS," A
CHRISTMAS TREE BURSTS INTO
FLAMES.
46
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:12,425
( LAUGHTER )
LAST NIGHT, AND POLICE SAY
THAT
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00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:13,693
THEY BELIEVE HE IS HOMELESS,
AND MENTAL ILLNESS MAY HAVE
PLAYED
48
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,765
A FACTOR.
HOMELESS AND MENTALLY ILL?
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00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:19,599
OH, MY GOD!
THE FIRE WAS SET BY BILL
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00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,802
O'REILLY.
SO--
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00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:36,215
( APPLAUSE )
SO, IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
THIS
52
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:40,253
HOLLY-JOLLY ARSONIST WAS
POLITICALLY MOTIVATED, BUT
FOX
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00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,089
NEWS IS STILL GONNA EIGHT
MAIDS-A-MILK IT.
54
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,724
HERE'S A STOCKING STUFFED
WITH THEIR COVERAGE FROM
THIS
55
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,025
MORNING:
>> JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT
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00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,827
COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE,
SOMEBODY BURNS DOWN A
CHRISTMAS TREE.
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00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,896
>> THIS IS PERSONAL TO YOU,
TOO, AT HOME NOW.
58
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,265
THE FOX CHRISTMAS TREE
VANDALIZED.
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00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:53,800
ARSON.
>> I KNOW SOME PEOPLE WOULD
LIKE
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00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,802
TO SIMPLIFY THIS TO JUST A
CHRISTMAS TREE.
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00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,271
>> WHO SETS A CHRISTMAS TREE
ON FIRE?
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00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:03,776
THE CHRISTMAS TREE, THE
HOLIDAY TREE HERE IN THE
SQUARE.
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00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:10,249
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, DID A
FOX ANCHOR JUST SAY,
"HOLIDAY
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00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:13,920
TREE"?
KEEP IT UP, DOOCY, AND
AINSLEY'S
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00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,855
GONNA SET YOU ON FIRE.
FOX CLEARLY WANTED TO DRIVE
HOME
66
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,190
THE POINT THAT THIS FIRE WAS
SET INTENTIONALLY.
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00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:20,727
AS STEVE DOOCY SAID:
>> APPARENTLY, THE GUY IS
STILL
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00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:21,628
BEING INTERVIEWED BY THE
ARSON SQUAD,
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00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:26,966
IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT
LIKE ARSON.
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00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,935
( LAUGHTER )
♪ IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A
LOT
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00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:36,776
LIKE ARSON
EVERYWHERE YOU GO
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00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:37,944
♪ TAKE A LOOK AT THE TREE
AND THEN THE FLAMES ARE
ROARING
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00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:46,786
ONCE AGAIN
♪ DOOCY, STOP, DROP, ROLL ♪
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00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:50,390
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
A LITTLE BING.
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00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:57,430
>> Jon: BING CROSBY.
>> Stephen: THE FIRE WAS
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00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:06,506
PARTICULARLY UPSETTING FOR
THE PEOPLE AT FOX.
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00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,274
BECAUSE THE EVERGREEN TREE
IS A SYMBOL OF THE ETERNAL
LIFE GIVEN
78
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,742
BY CHRIST.
OR AS AINSLEY PUT IT:
79
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,177
>> IT'S A TREE THAT UNITES
US, THAT BRINGS US TOGETHER.
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00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,612
IT'S ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS
SPIRIT. IT'S ABOUT THE
HOLIDAY SEASON.
81
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,414
IT'S ABOUT JESUS.
IT'S ABOUT HANUKKAH.
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00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:27,627
( LAUGHTER )
GIFT FROM JESUS.
83
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:32,432
BUT I'M GONNA-- BLESS YOUR
HEART.
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00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:37,670
AINSLEY, I'M GOING TO GO UP
ON THE A BURNING LIMB AND
SAY THIS
85
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:42,241
IS NOT ABOUT HANUKKAH.
IF IT WAS, THE FIRE WOULD
HAVE
86
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:46,546
LOOKED LIKE THIS:
BUT, ON THE OTHER HAND,
MAYBE IT
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00:05:46,612 --> 00:05:48,981
IS ABOUT HANUKKAH BECAUSE I
HAVE A FEELING THAT FOX WILL
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00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:51,718
MIRACULOUSLY MAKE THIS STORY
LAST FOR EIGHT DAYS.
89
00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:56,322
( LAUGHTER )
IT'S ALSO TIME FOR
CONGRESS'S
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00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:59,892
FAVORITE HOLIDAY TRADITION:
NEARLY DESTROYING THE
ECONOMY
91
00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:02,729
FOR NO DAMN REASON.
THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ALMOST
DEBT
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00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,697
CEILING-MAS, WHEN BOTH
HOUSES OF CONGRESS HAVE TO
RAISE THE
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00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:08,835
OFFICIAL BORROWING LIMIT OR
THE U.S. DEFAULTS ON ITS
DEBT,
94
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:12,505
CURRENCY BECOMES WORTHLESS,
AND WE'RE ALL LEFT IN THE
AFTERSCAPE
95
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:21,214
TRADING SHEEP, POTABLE
WATER, AND CHILDREN FOR
DOGECOIN.
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00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,982
BUT NEVER FEAR, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, THE SITUATION IS
IN
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00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,218
THE CAPABLE TALONS OF
SENATE MINORITY LEADER AND
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00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:30,089
TODDLER FILLING HIS DIAPER
ON SANT
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00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:32,725
SANTA'S LAP, MITCH
McCONNELL. ( LAUGHTER )
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00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:40,066
McCONNELL WANTS TO RAISE THE
DEBT CEILING, BUT HE ALSO
WANTS
101
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:44,670
TO FILIBUSTER ANYTHING THAT
MOVES, SO HE'S COME UP WITH
AN
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00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:49,642
INGENUOUS STRATEGY: GETTING
10 REPUBLICAN SENATORS TO
VOTE FOR
103
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,577
A TEMPORARY FAST-TRACK
PROCESS TO ALLOW SENATE
DEMOCRATS TO ACT
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00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,946
ON THEIR OWN TO INCREASE THE
DEBT LIMIT WITH 51 VOTES.
105
00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:57,950
YES, THEY'RE GOING TO VOTE
TO ALLOW SOMEONE ELSE TO
VOTE TO
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00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:00,887
RAISE THE DEBT CEILING.
THAT WAY, NO ONE CAN BLAME
THE
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00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:04,257
REPUBLICANS IF THE UNITED
STATES CONTINUES TO EXIST.
108
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:10,196
IT'S THE PERFECT CRIME:
THEY'RE ON TRACK TO PASS
IT--
109
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:15,768
BUT I REFUSE TO GIVE THEM
ANY CREDIT FOR DOING THE
ABSOLUTE
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00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,170
BARE MINIMUM OF NOT
DELIBERATELY DESTROYING THE
WORLD ECONOMY.
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00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:21,040
THE DEBT CEILING SHOULD NOT
EVEN BE A THING.
112
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,208
WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO GIVE
OUR GOVERNMENT A BUILT-IN
SELF-
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00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:28,314
DESTRUCT MECHANISM??
THAT'S LIKE A MICROWAVE
HAVING
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00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:33,452
JUST THREE SETTINGS:
REHEAT, POPCORN, AND
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00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:37,790
"PRESS ME ONCE AN
HOUR OR I'LL JUMP IN THE
BATHTUB
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00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,192
WITH YOU."
NOW, MOVING ON TO THINGS
THAT
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00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,526
ARE ACTUALLY HAPPENING,
SCIENTISTS IN SOUTH AFRICA
JUST
118
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:45,598
RELEASED THE RESULTS OF A
STUDY THAT FOUND OMICRON
SEEMS TO DULL
119
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,400
THE POWER OF THE PFIZER
VACCINE, MEANING THAT
VACCINATED PEOPLE
120
00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:50,169
MIGHT BE VULNERABLE TO
BREAKTHROUGH INFECTIONS.
121
00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:55,775
BOOOO!
>> Audience: BOOOO!
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00:07:55,842 --> 00:08:01,013
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE
FOOTAGE
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00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:06,152
OF A VIRUS BREK THROUGH.
>> OH-- MICRON!
124
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:12,892
( APPLAUSE )
OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH.
125
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:17,263
SCIENTISTS WERE QUICK TO
CLARIFY THAT, WHILE THE
RESULTS WERE
126
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,664
SOMEWHAT WORRISOME, THERE'S
NO CAUSE FOR PANIC.
127
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,433
GOOD, BECAUSE I WASN'T
PANICKING ANYWAY.
128
00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:21,934
MAYBE I SHOULD, BUT I'M SO
TIRED.
129
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:25,972
AFTER FIVE YEARS OF
DEMOCRACY BURNING LIKE A FOX
NEWS
130
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:29,242
CHRISTMAS TREE, AND TWO
YEARS OF PANDEMIC, MY
ADRENAL GLANDS ARE
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00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:30,610
SHRIVELED UP LIKE TWO
CRAISINS. MY FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT
RESPONSE HAS
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00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,911
TURNED INTO CARAMEL CORN AND
NETFLIX.
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00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:35,581
BESIDES, THIS IS A
PRELIMINARY STUDY.
134
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:38,017
HOW PRELIMINARY?
THEY RELEASED THE RESULTS IN
THE
135
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:42,355
HIGHLY-RESPECTED MEDICAL
JOURNAL, TWITTER.
136
00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:47,026
( LAUGHTER )
ALL MEDICAL STUDIES DEBUT ON
137
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,896
SOCIAL MEDIA:
"HEY TIKTOK FAM, BIG NEWS--
I
138
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:52,198
GOT THIS GORGEOUS NEW BAG
FROM FENDI, AND I CAN'T WAIT
TO USE
139
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,167
IT TO HOLD MY NOBEL PRIZE,
CUZ I CURED CANCER!
140
00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:59,538
WHOOP, WHOOP!
SMASH THAT 'FOLLOW' BUTTON!"
141
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:08,915
( APPLAUSE )
SO WE DON'T KNOW A LOT, BUT
ONE
142
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,984
THING IS CLEAR: THE NEW
VARIANT IS SPREADING FAST.
143
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:16,889
21 STATES HAVE NOW DETECTED
OMICRON, INCLUDING TEXAS,
WHERE
144
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,558
HOUSTON HEALTH AUTHORITIES
FOUND IT IN HOUSTON'S
WASTEWATER BY
145
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:23,529
ANALYZING SEWAGE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
146
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:27,600
(BLEEP) JUST GOT REAL.
( LAUGHTER )
147
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:37,944
AND THAT'S JUST THE OMICRON
OFFICIALS ARE ABLE TO
DETECT.
148
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:41,347
REPORTEDLY, SCIENTISTS HAVE
JUST FOUND A STEALTH VERSION
OF
149
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,818
OMICRON THAT MAY BE HARDER
FOR P.C.R. TESTS TO TRACK.
150
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:47,586
AND I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE
AN ENLARGED IMAGE OF THE
STEALTH
151
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:51,590
VARIANT.
152
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:56,195
WE'RE ALSO LEARNING MORE
ABOUT HOW THE VIRUS IS
TRANSMITTED.
153
00:09:56,262 --> 00:10:00,066
THE NEW STUDY FOUND THAT
WHEN EXHALING, MALES
PRODUCED 34%
154
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:07,139
MORE AEROSOL THAN FEMALES.
CLASSIC MAN-SPREAD.
155
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,909
THE VIRUS--
( APPLAUSE )
156
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:17,550
THE VIRUS IS ALSO MORE
LIKELY TO BE TRANSMITTED BY
LOUD TALKERS,
157
00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:20,686
BUT THAT SINGING IS WOSE
THAN TALKING.
158
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:23,122
FINALLY, SCIENTIFIC PROOF
THAT OFFICE KARAOKE NIGHT IS
KILLING
159
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,925
YOU.
( LAUGHTER )
160
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:32,264
SPEAKING OF SCIENCE, MORE
SCIENCE.
161
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:35,601
RESEARCHERS IN HONG KONG
HAVE DEVELOPED THE FIRST
-EVER
162
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:39,638
COVID-KILLING STEEL THAT CAN
INACTIVATE 99.99% OF THE
VIRUS
163
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:43,576
WITHIN SIX HOURS.
THAT IS FANTASTIC.
164
00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:47,246
ALSO, DIDN'T WE LEARN MONTHS
AGO THAT COVID DOESN'T
REALLY SPREAD
165
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,914
VIA SURFACES?
IT REALLY SOUNDS LIKE THESE
166
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:55,588
SCIENTISTS FOUND OUT ABOUT
COVID TWO YEARS AGO,
IMMEDIATELY
167
00:10:55,654 --> 00:11:01,027
LOCKED THEMSELVES IN A LAB,
AND THEN JUST EMERGED LIKE,
"WE DID
168
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:02,261
IT!
WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S
169
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,562
AIRBORNE?
DAMMIT!
170
00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:04,997
GUESS I'LL JUST GO HOME AND
WATCH QUIBI.
171
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:06,432
WHAT?!
I'M GONNA WRITE GOVERNOR
CUOMO
172
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:10,236
ABOUT THIS.
HUH?!!!
173
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:13,172
I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT HIS
BROTHER CHRIS HAS TO SAY
ABOUT THAT.
174
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:23,983
GAH!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
175
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:31,023
WORLD'S NUMBER ONE EXPORTER
OF CONSONANTS.
176
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,691
YESTERDAY WAS THE LAST DAY
IN POWER FOR FORMER
CHANCELLOR
177
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,927
ANGELA MERKEL, SEEN HERE
SCREAMING, "HELP!
178
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,930
MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN TURNED
INTO BIRDS!"
179
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:45,404
( LAUGHTER )
STEPPED DOWN AFTER 16 YEARS.
180
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,606
THAT'S A REALLY LONG RUN.
I KNOW THAT PERSONALLY,
BECAUSE
181
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:51,577
HER FIRST YEAR IN OFFICE WAS
THE FIRST YEAR OF MY OLD
SHOW, WHICH
182
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:59,051
BEGS THE QUESTION: "WHO AGED
IT BETTER?"
183
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,420
OH, MY GOD.
( APPLAUSE )
184
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:05,858
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN.
185
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:07,126
>> Stephen: NO, WAIT, WAIT A
SECOND.
186
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:10,162
WHY AM I THE ONE WHO LOOKS
LIKE HE SPENT YEARS TRYING
TO PREVENT
187
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,565
THE COLLAPSE OF THE GREEK
ECONOMY?
188
00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:18,337
( LAUGHTER )
WIEDERSEHEN" CEREMONY FOR
189
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:22,875
MERKEL, AND ONE OF THE SONGS
THAT SHE REQUESTED A
MARCHING
190
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,478
BAND PLAY WAS
"DU HAST DEN FARBFILM
191
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:28,981
VERGESSEN," OR "YOU FORGOT
THE COLOR FILM," A 1974 PUNK
ROCK
192
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,117
ANTHEM BY THE EAST GERMAN
ARTIST NINA HAGEN.
193
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:37,156
WOOO!
OF COURSE, MERKEL HAS ALWAYS
194
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,290
BEEN A LITTLE PUNK ROCK.
WHO CAN FORGET WHEN SHE
CROWD
195
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:42,428
SURFED AT THE U.N. GENERAL
ASSEMBLY.
196
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:47,133
( LAUGHTER )
LEDERHOSEN?
197
00:12:47,199 --> 00:12:50,236
WHY, IT'S NONE OTHER THAN
FORMER GERMAN VICE
CHANCELLOR AND GUY
198
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:53,606
SAYING, "WHO HAS TWO THUMBS
AND ALSO LOOKS LIKE A
THUMB?"
199
00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:59,111
OLAF SCHOLZ.
WOOOOO!!!!
200
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:03,115
OLAF, BABY!
NUMBER ONE OLAF FAN.
201
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:03,983
WHEN I SAY OLAF,
YOU SAY BUNDESKANZLER.
202
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:11,724
OLAF!
>> BUNDESKANZLER.
203
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:17,296
>> OLAF!
>> BUNDESKANZLER.
204
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:21,500
>> Stephen: IT'S A MUSICAL
LANGUAGE THAT IS NOT AT ALL
205
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:25,137
HORRIFYING TO HERE CHANTED.
FLASH BACK, FLASH BACK, I
WATCH
206
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:28,574
TOO MUCH HISTORY CHANNEL.
BUT CHANCELLOR SCHOLZ ISN'T
207
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,543
UNIVERSALLY BELOVED.
HE'S BEEN CRITICIZED BY AN
208
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:33,579
OPPOSITION MEMBER FOR
"GRINNING LIKE A MURF."
209
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,981
HEY, HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR!
HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A
SMURF.
210
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:41,387
HE LOOKS LIKE HE EATS
SMURFS. ( LAUGHTER )
211
00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:44,089
THE COMPARISON, BECAUSE
"SMURFS ARE SMALL, CRAFTY,
AND ALWAYS
212
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:49,428
WIN."
NICELY DONE, OLAF.
213
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:54,400
ALTHOUGH, I'M NOT SURE "I
KNOW A TON ABOUT SMURFS" IS
THE BITING
214
00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:55,568
COMEBACK THAT YOU THINK IT
IS. ( AS SCHOLZ )
215
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:59,305
JOKE'S ON YOU: I VATCH
EXCLUSIVELY DA KINDER
-CARTOONS
216
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,774
FROM THE 1980S.
AH, VICTORY.
217
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:06,045
IT'S AS SWEET AS STRAWBERRY
SHORTCAKES.
218
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:09,381
BY DA POWER OF GRAYSKULL: I
AM THE CHANCELLOR!"
219
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:16,555
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WOOO!
220
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:20,492
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR
YOU TONIGHT.
221
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:23,395
MY GUEST IS CBS NEWS COVID
EXPERT DR. DAVID AGUS.
222
00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:27,066
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I
EXPLAIN MODERN
RELATIONSHIPS, AND THEN
223
00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:29,501
YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM.
224
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:07,539
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME
BACK,
225
00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:08,641
EVERYBODY!
JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
226
00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,476
RIGHT OVER THERE, BABY DOLL,
THAT'S IT.
227
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:13,879
MAN, THERE'S AN
ELECTRICITY-- THERE'S A--
THERE'S-- I THINK
228
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:23,055
THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON IS
IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW.
229
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:26,358
I FEEL A REAL LIGHTNESS, A
REAL ELECTRICITY IN THIS
ROOM.
230
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,695
IT'S LIKE A BREATH OF FRESH
AIR, THESE PEOPLE.
231
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,763
>> Jon: YEAH!
I LIKE THAT.
232
00:15:30,829 --> 00:15:35,601
I LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: DON'T YOU FEEL
IT?
233
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,137
JON, TONIGHT, WE HAVE DR.
DAVID AGUS.
234
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:43,676
HE IS ONE OF THE LEAD HEALTH
AND COVID ANALYSTS FOR CBS
NEWS.
235
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:46,245
BECAUSE WE FIGURED, YOU
KNOW, THERE ARE SO MANY
QUESTIONS
236
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,713
ABOUT COVID THESE DAYS.
>> Jon: DEFINITELY.
237
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,316
>> Stephen: WE HAVEN'T-- WE
HAVEN'T, LIKE, NAILED DOWN
238
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:53,485
WHAT'S GOING ON IN A WHILE.
SO HE'S GOING TO ANSWER
ALL--
239
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:54,920
ALL THE QUESTIONS I'VE GOT
TONIGHT.
240
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:58,824
HE KNOWS ALL THE ANSWERS.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.
241
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,160
>> Stephen: HE KNOWS-- I
CALL PEOPLE AND SAY, "HEY,
CAN YOU
242
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:05,264
TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON WITH
COVID?"
243
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,834
THEY SAY, "WE'LL CALL YOU
BACK" AND THEY CALL THIS
GUY.
244
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:12,037
THAT'S A TRUE STORY.
HE KNOWS ABOUT COVID.
245
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:15,541
HE KNOWS ALL THE LYRICS TO
"LOUIE LOUIE."
246
00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:19,678
HE KNOWS THE WINNING LOTTO
NUMBERS FOR NEXT WEEK.
247
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,380
PICK THREE.
STICK AROUND FOR THAT
EVERYBODY.
248
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:25,617
>> THAT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.
>> Stephen: IT WILL BE
REALLY
249
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:28,153
GOOD.
YOU'LL LOSE MONEY IF YOU
DON'T.
250
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,956
FOLKS, IF THERE'S ONE THING
I LIKE, IT'S LOVE.
251
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:34,326
IN FACT, I, LIKE, LIKE IT.
BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE
252
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:35,961
I'VE BEEN IN THE DATING
WORLD. IN MY DAY, YOU
COULDN'T EVEN
253
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:41,567
SEND SOMEONE A SEXT.
YOU HAD TO SEND THEM A SEX
254
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:44,169
PIGEON.
"SHOW HER THE EGGPLANT!"
255
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:50,843
( LAUGHTER )
WITH NEW TERMS TO DEFINE
256
00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:54,313
HARD-TO-UNDERSTAND MODERN
RELATIONSHIPS.
257
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,148
AND I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ALL
ABOUT THE LATEST LOVE TRENDS
IN
258
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:58,751
MY RECURRING SEGMENT:
♪ ♪ ♪
259
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:04,123
> "ROMANSPLAINING WITH
STEPHEN COLBERT."
260
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,592
>> Stephen: WELCOME TO
ROMANSPLAINING.
261
00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:11,363
FIRST UP, ACCORDING TO A NEW
SURVEY OF OVER 7,000
SINGLES,
262
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:15,734
ONE OF THE LATEST TRENDS IN
DATING IS QUESTIONING
WHETHER
263
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:20,172
YOU WANT TO DATE AT ALL.
APPARENTLY, THAT'S CALLED
264
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:22,107
"HESIDATING," OR "FEELING
INDIFFERENT ABOUT DATING,
UNSURE
265
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,176
IF YOU WANT TO DATE
SERIOUSLY OR CASUALLY,
BECAUSE LIFE IN
266
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:27,312
GENERAL IS SO UNCERTAIN
RIGHT NOW."
267
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,582
I'M GUESSING THAT HAS A BIG
IMPACT ON PICK-UP LINES:
268
00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:33,285
"HEY, I SAW YOU ACROSS THE
BAR, AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT
WONDER
269
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:40,192
IF IT'S WORTH THE EFFORT TO
EVER SPEAK TO ANYONE AT ALL.
270
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:44,196
( LAUGHTER )
AND THE YAWNING VOID AWAITS.
271
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,698
ANYWAYS, WANNA GET OUTTA
HERE? NOT SURE IF I DO."
272
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:49,802
HESIDATING ISN'T THE ONLY
NEW TREND.
273
00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:54,573
THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING
CALLED "HAND-TICIPATION,"
WHICH SOUNDS
274
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,141
LIKE THE BREATHLESS
EXCITEMENT THAT COMES WHEN A
VICTORIAN
275
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:59,511
WOMAN FIRST REMOVES HER
GLOVE. ( IN BRITISH ACCENT
)
276
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:04,149
KNUCKLE IS MORE GLORIOUS
THAN I DARED IMAGINE!"
277
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:09,455
( LAUGHTER )
ACTUALLY REFERS TO THE
ANXIETY
278
00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:12,791
THAT COMES WITH BEING UNSURE
ABOUT THE PHYSICAL
BOUNDARIES
279
00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:15,561
THAT ARE ACCEPTABLE DUE TO
SOCIAL DISTANCING FROM THE
280
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:16,762
PANDEMIC, SUCH AS WHETHER TO
HUG, HANDSHAKE, OR WAVE AT
YOUR
281
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:20,199
DATE.
OH, THERE ARE WAY MORE
OPTIONS
282
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:23,268
THAN THAT!
YOU GOT FINGER GUNS, THE
LITTLE
283
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:27,039
SALUTE.
AND, OF COURSE, MY FAVORITE,
284
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:28,373
THE TIPPING OF YOUR
IMAGINARY HAT, ACCOMPANIED
BY AN IRONIC
285
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,477
"M'LADY."
( LAUGHTER )
286
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:36,181
AWKWARDNESS...
AND THE DATE.
287
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:43,589
( LAUGHTER )
BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO
AVOID
288
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:52,130
SOMEONE, THERE'S ANOTHER HOT
TREND THIS YEAR.
289
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,566
IT IS "DAR-WINING," WHICH IS
SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE
IN
290
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:57,669
SCIENCE.
( APPLAUSE )
291
00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:00,539
BELIEVE IN SCIENCE, IT'S WAY
EASIER TO BLOW THEM OFF:
292
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,241
"SORRY I CAN'T DO DRINKS
TONIGHT.
293
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,176
MY BOAT IS SAILING OFF THE
EDGE OF THE WORLD.
294
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:10,916
I'M LOSING RECEPTION.
OKAY, BYEEEEEEE."
295
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:16,188
ANOTHER COVID-RELATED TREND
IS THE ACT OF ENDING A
SERIOUS
296
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:20,292
RELATIONSHIP DUE TO
PERSPECTIVE AND CLARITY
GAINED DURING THE
297
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,227
PANDEMIC, WHICH IS KNOWN AS
"RESIGNING."
298
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:24,196
WHICH IS JUST LIKE BREAKING
UP, EXCEPT YOU'RE REQUIRED
TO GIVE
299
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:28,200
TWO WEEKS' NOTICE.
ALL THIS MAKES ME REALIZE
JUST
300
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,602
HOW MANY STILL-UNDEFINED
RELATIONSHIPS THERE ARE OUT
301
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:34,473
THERE THAT HAVE NO NAME.
SO I AM HERE TO ROMANSPLAIN
SOME
302
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:39,311
OF THE MORE HYPER-SPECIFIC
RELATIONSHIP TYPES FOR YOU.
303
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:41,547
FOR STARTERS, THERE'S
IF DAR-WINING DOESN'T SPEAK
TO
304
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,782
YOU, HOW ABOUT EINSTEIN-ING,
WHICH IS WHEN YOU DUMP
SOMEONE
305
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:48,186
BASED ON THE THEORY OF
RELATIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE
YOUR
306
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:53,825
COUSIN.
( LAUGHTER )
307
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:59,598
TRUE LOVE, BUT MAYBE RIGHT
NOW, YOU JUST NEED A "HOLI
-BAE":
308
00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:03,835
A PERSON WHO'S YOUR
SOULMATE, BUT ONLY FOR THE
HOLIDAYS.
309
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:06,438
"JUST GIVE ME THE AIR FRYER
AND GET OUT."
310
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:12,177
( LAUGHTER )
CATCHING ON IS SOUL-MATIES."
311
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:15,213
THAT'S TWO PEOPLE WHO KNOW
THEY'RE MEANT TO BE
TOGETHER,
312
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,214
BECAUSE THEY'RE TRAPPED ON
THE SAME PIRATE SHIP.
313
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:20,185
AND THEY'RE BOTH LOOKIN' FOR
BOOTY.
314
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:23,989
( LAUGHTER )
MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR A "ME
-SOME,"
315
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:32,164
WHICH IS WHEN YOU PUT
YOURSELF FIRST BY MAKING
EVERYONE AT THE
316
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,733
THAT'S IT FOR
"ROMANSPLAINING WITH STEPHEN
COLBERT."
317
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,968
JOIN ME NEXT TIME, WHEN I
TELL YOU WHAT IT MEANS WHEN
YOU HAVE
318
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:40,138
AN EROTIC DREAM ABOUT TAKING
A NAP.
319
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,306
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CBS
NEWS MEDICAL CONTRIBUTOR
320
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:43,542
DR. DAVID AGUS.
♪ ♪ ♪
321
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:15,240
WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," ALREADY IN PROGRESS.
322
00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:19,478
FOLKS, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A
MEDICAL CONTRIBUTOR FOR CBS
NEWS
323
00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:21,346
AND THE CO-CHAIR OF THE
GLOBAL HEALTH SECURITY
CONSORTIUM.
324
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:25,317
PLEASE WELCOME DR. DAVID
AGUS! ♪ ♪ ♪
325
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:39,197
( APPLAUSE )
EXPLAINING TO THE PEOPLE
BEFORE,
326
00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:41,900
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
AS I WAS EXPLAINING TO THE
327
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:46,004
PEOPLE BEFORE, YOU'RE A BIG
DEAL IN THE WHOLE KNOWING
ABOUT COVID
328
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:48,173
WORLD.
THE PEOPLE THAT I CALL, OR
WE
329
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,376
CALL AROUND HERE TO FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING TO BE
HAPPENING,
330
00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:55,514
THEY GENERALLY CALL YOU AND
SAY, "THIS IS WHATTING AUS
SAID."
331
00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:59,751
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE
SINCE WE'RE GETTING ALL THIS
NEW
332
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:03,488
INFORMATION THIS FALL, WE
THOUGHT WE KNEW WERE THINGS
WERE
333
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:07,492
GOING, AND DELTA CAME, AND
WE THOUGHT WE'LL RIDE THIS
OUT.
334
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:14,433
AND THEN OMICRON IS SHOWING
UP. I WANT TO GET A BASELINE
READING
335
00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:16,568
FROM THE WORLD OF COVID IF
YOU CAN DO THAT.
336
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:19,504
>> GOT IT, I CAN DO THAT.
>> Stephen: IN TWO YEARS,
337
00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:24,309
WE'VE SEEN 12 COVID
VARIANTS. THE NEWEST IS
OMICRON, AS I
338
00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:25,644
SAID.
THERE'S A MARKET IN THE
MEDIA
339
00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:29,381
FOR GRABBING OUR ATTENTION
AND MAKING EVERYTHING
BRAKING NEWS--
340
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,550
>> WAY TOO MUCH OF A MARKET.
>> Stephen: AND FLAMING
341
00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:32,684
CHRISTMAS TREES.
( LAUGHTER )
342
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:35,821
THOUGH?
>> ABOUT OMICRON?
343
00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:38,724
>> Stephen: YES.
>> SO RIGHT NOW, DELTA IS,
344
00:22:38,790 --> 00:22:40,225
OBVIOUSLY, HERE IN THE
UNITED STATES.
345
00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:46,098
99% OF CASES, 119,000 PEOPLE
NEWLY DIAGNOSED TODAY AND
1600
346
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:47,699
DEATHS TODAY FROM DELTA
VARIANT IN THE UNITED
STATES.
347
00:22:47,766 --> 00:22:50,302
>> Stephen: NOW THAT'S--
>> WE CAN'T FORGET ABOUT
THAT.
348
00:22:50,368 --> 00:22:54,973
>> Stephen: THAT'S A LEVEL
WE HAVE NOT NOT SEEN UNTIL
LATE
349
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,208
WINTER, EARLY SPRING OF LAST
YEAR.
350
00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:59,478
>> RIGHT.
IT'S A PERFECT STORM.
351
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:03,482
COVID FATIGUE, IT'S COLDER,
AND PEOPLE ARE GOING
INDOORS, AND
352
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:06,718
THESE ARE MAINLY PEOPLE
UNVACCINATED IN THE I.C.U.s.
353
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:12,724
OVER 90% OF THE PEOPLE IN
THE I.C.U.S ARE UNTHE
VACCINATED.
354
00:23:12,791 --> 00:23:16,461
OMICRON WAS ORIGINALLY
OBSERVED IN AFRICA, AND IT
IS A VARIANT
355
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:19,865
THAT IS RADICALLY DIFFERENT.
OVER A MILLION YEARS OF
HUMAN
356
00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:22,200
EVOLUTION, OUR GENOME
CHANGED 1%.
357
00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:26,271
OVER ONE DAY, THIS VIRUS CAN
CHANGE 1%, AND IT DID.
358
00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:28,406
AND SO THERE ARE 40
DIFFERENT CHANGES IN THE
SPIKE PROTEIN.
359
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:32,477
SO IT'S VERY DIFFERENT.
AND IT DID SO, AND IT'S
GETTING
360
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:33,945
AROUND SOME OF THE EARLY
VACCINES.
361
00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:37,516
AND THAT'S WHAT WORRIED US.
SO THIS IS TREMENDOUSLY
362
00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:40,218
INFECTIOUS, ALMOST TWICE AS
INFEX AS DELTA.
363
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:45,323
SO ON NOVEMBER 23, THERE WAS
ONE CASE IN SOUTH AFRICA.
364
00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:49,561
NOW IT'S 90% OF THE CASES IN
THE COUNTRY.
365
00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:53,698
THAT'S IN A MATTER OF WEEKS.
SO IT SPREADS LIKE WILDFIRE.
366
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:57,269
>> Stephen: IS IT TRUE THAT
PREVIOUS, NATURAL IMMUNITY
FROM
367
00:23:57,335 --> 00:24:00,338
HAVING HAD COVID IS NOT
APPLICABLE IN THIS CASE,
THAT IT
368
00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:03,708
GOES AROUND THAT.
DO WE KNOW THAT?
369
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:07,179
>> PREVIOUS COVID DOES NOT
REALLY HELP YOU WITH THE
370
00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:09,614
OMICRON, AND TWO SHOTS OF
THE VACCINE PROBABLY DOESN'T
HELP
371
00:24:09,681 --> 00:24:13,185
YOU THAT MUCH WITH OMICRON.
>> Stephen: WHEN THAT WAS
372
00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:17,589
ANYWHERE FROM MID-80s TO
EARLY 90s, IN TERMS OF THE
EFFICACY
373
00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:19,624
TO KEEPING YOU SAFE.
>> 100%.
374
00:24:19,691 --> 00:24:22,494
IT WORKED AGAINST THE OTHER
VARIANTS REMARKABLY WELL.
375
00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:25,397
WE GOT FREAKING LUCKY WITH
THESE VACCINES.
376
00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:28,667
THEY WERE AWESOME.
THERE WEREN'T REAL SIDE
EFFECTS
377
00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:32,204
AND THEY PROTECTED SERIOUS
ILLNESS IN ALMOST EVERYBODY
378
00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:34,639
WHICH IS REALLY WILD.
BUT OMICRON IS GOING AROUND
IT A
379
00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:38,410
LITTLE BIT, AND THAT'S WHAT
GOT US WORRY GLD PFIZER
SAID, I
380
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:42,480
THINK IT WAS JUST TODAY,
THAT THREE SHOTS PROTECTS
YOU AGAINST
381
00:24:42,547 --> 00:24:44,349
OMICRON.
>> THAT'S REALLY COOL, THE
382
00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:47,152
BOOSTER SHOT.
EVERYONE SAYS THE BOOSTER
SHOTS
383
00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:48,753
MEANS THE VACCINES ARE NOT
GREAT.
384
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,890
THE VIRUS CHANGED.
THE VACCINES WERE MADE FOR
THE
385
00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:54,793
ORIGINAL VARIANT IDENTIFIED
IN WUHAN, AND NOW WE HAVE A
NEW
386
00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:56,428
VIRUS, BASICALLY, BECAUSE IT
REALLY CHANGED.
387
00:24:56,494 --> 00:24:58,163
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT A NEW
VACCINE, JUST MORE OF IT.
388
00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:03,702
>> RIGHT, A THIRD SHOT, A
BOOSTER SHOT, RAISES
IMMUNITY
389
00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:06,404
30-FOLD, AND BY DOING THAT
YOU HAVE ENOUGH IMMUNITY TO
FIGHT
390
00:25:06,471 --> 00:25:08,740
OFF OMICRON.
WHEN YOU GET THIS VACCINE
THERE
391
00:25:08,807 --> 00:25:11,943
ARE 10 SPOTS YOU ATTACK ON
THAT SPIKE PROTEIN.
392
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:14,779
OMICRON LOST SEVEN OF THEM.
SO YOU NEED A REALLY HIGH
LEVEL
393
00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:18,450
TO BE ABLE TO GET RID OF IT
WITH THOSE THREE SPOTS.
394
00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:22,988
A BOOSTER SHOT GIVES THAT.
THAT DATA FROM PFIZER, I WAS
395
00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:24,322
CHEERING THIS MORNING, THAT
WAS GREAT.
396
00:25:24,389 --> 00:25:25,757
>> Stephen: NOW, I'M A
MODERNA MAN--
397
00:25:25,824 --> 00:25:27,425
>> I'M SORRY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT THEY
398
00:25:27,492 --> 00:25:30,562
HAD WHEN I WALKED INTO THE
ABANDONED K-MART.
399
00:25:30,629 --> 00:25:33,398
THEY GAVE ME THE MODERNA.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS ONE OF
THOSE
400
00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,800
PLACES, YOU KNOW.
DOES THIS APPLY TO MODERNA,
TOO?
401
00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:40,772
DO WE KNOW THE THIRD SHOT OF
MODERNA OR A SECOND SHOT OF
J&J,
402
00:25:40,839 --> 00:25:43,575
OR DO WE KNOW, OR DO WE MIX
AND MATCH AT THIS POINT?
403
00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:46,211
>> WE DON'T KNOW BUT WE
WILL. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T
KNOW,
404
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:47,679
BUT YES.
THAT'S SCIENCE, RIGHT?
405
00:25:47,746 --> 00:25:52,284
>> YES, THE SPIKE PROTEIN IS
VERY SIMILAR IN ALL OF
THEMPLE,
406
00:25:52,350 --> 00:25:56,321
SO WE SHOULD SEE EXACTLY
THAT SAME RESULT WITH
MODERNA.
407
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:59,457
THE DATA IS AVAILABLE YET.
IN SOUTH AFRICA THEY GAVE
408
00:25:59,524 --> 00:26:01,626
PFIZER, AND THERE WAS A LOT
OF SCIENCE DONE IN SOUTH
AFRICA AND
409
00:26:01,693 --> 00:26:06,464
THEY DIDN'T HAVE MODERNA
THERE. MODERNA STUDIES ARE
ONGOING NOW.
410
00:26:06,531 --> 00:26:11,169
IT WILL COME OUT IN THE NEXT
STUDY.
411
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:14,506
ANY OF THE BOOSTERS WILL
GIVE YOU PROTECTION RIGHT
NOW, WE
412
00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:16,341
THINK, FROM OMICRON.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU USED A
413
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:20,278
TERM A MOMENT AGO THAT I'VE
BEEN HEARING A LOT, WHICH
IS, OH,
414
00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:24,482
THERE'S A 25-FOLD OR 41-FOLD
OR 75-FOLD INCREASE OR
DECREASE.
415
00:26:24,549 --> 00:26:27,285
WHAT IS THIS FOLD?
BECAUSE A YEAR AGO, THEY
WERE
416
00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:31,756
JUST SAYING IT WAS EITHER
75% EFFECTIVE OR 82 OR 93.
417
00:26:31,823 --> 00:26:33,925
WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT
FOLDS NOW?
418
00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:37,963
>> BECAUSE WHEN WE KIND OF
GO INTO THESE NUMBERS IT
MAKES US
419
00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:40,332
LOOK SMARTER AND THAT'S OUR
GOAL HERE.
420
00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:43,268
WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IS
THE AMOUNT OF ANTIBODIES IN
THE
421
00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:45,203
BLOOD.
ANTIBODIES BIND ON TO A
VIRUS
422
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:49,107
AND CLEAR IT AWAY.
AND YOU GET ABOUT A 40-FOLD
423
00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:51,776
INCREASE IN THE NUMBER OF
THOSE MOLECULES WHEN YOU GET
THAT
424
00:26:51,843 --> 00:26:53,611
BOOSTER.
>> Stephen: HOW DOES THAT
425
00:26:53,678 --> 00:26:56,281
TRANSLATE INTO PERCENTAGE
EFFECTIVENESS, WHICH WAS THE
426
00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:57,749
STANDARD WE WERE BEING TOLD
A YEAR AGO?
427
00:26:57,816 --> 00:27:04,656
>> UM, THEY'RE NOT REALLY
APPLICABLE TO EACH OTHER.
428
00:27:04,723 --> 00:27:07,125
STANDARD EFFECTIVENESS
BEFORE, WAS 90% YOU WOULDN'T
GET SICK,
429
00:27:07,192 --> 00:27:09,094
AND IF YOU DID GET SICK YOU
WEREN'T VERY SICK.
430
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,764
WITH THIS BOOSTER IT'S GO TO
BE ABOUT THE SAME.
431
00:27:12,831 --> 00:27:14,532
THAT'S THE GOOD.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE
A
432
00:27:14,599 --> 00:27:15,734
QUCK BREAK, BUT DON'T GO
ANYWHERE.
433
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,303
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE
DR. DAVID AGUS.
434
00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:36,321
WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW." WE'RE HERE TALKING
CORONAVIRUS
435
00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:42,494
WITH DR. DAVID AGUS.
DOCTOR, WILL THERE EVER BE
AN
436
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,996
END TO VARIANTS?
I MEAN, SCIENTIFICALLY, WHEN
WE
437
00:27:45,063 --> 00:27:49,467
RUN OUT OF GREEK LETTERS IT
HAS TO BE OVER, RIGHT?
438
00:27:49,534 --> 00:27:52,504
>> I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT
BUT YOU'RE RIGHT.
439
00:27:52,570 --> 00:27:55,173
NO, WE'RE GOING TO KEEP
HAVING VARIANTS.
440
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,508
THIS IS SOMETHING WE'RE
GOING TO LIVE WITH.
441
00:27:56,574 --> 00:27:59,244
WE'RE GETTING BETTER AT
DEALING WITH IT, AND WE'RE
NOT GOING TO
442
00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:02,247
PANIC EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS.
AND WE'VE DEVELOPED A
443
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:06,384
SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM AROUND
THE GLOBE WHERE LITERALLY
EVERY
444
00:28:06,451 --> 00:28:08,720
COUNTRYNOW, WE'RE SEQUENCING
THE VIRUS AND LOOKING FOR
THIS
445
00:28:08,787 --> 00:28:10,221
POPPING UP.
>> Stephen: WHY DID THE
446
00:28:10,288 --> 00:28:14,392
SPANISH FLU GO AWAY IN 1920,
APPROXIMATELY?
447
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:20,231
AND-- AND WE-- WE WERE LIKE
THERE IS ANOTHER VARIANT OF
THE
448
00:28:20,298 --> 00:28:23,635
SPANISH FLU?
WHY IS IT GONE AND THIS WILL
449
00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:26,671
LINGER FOREVER?
>> WE IS HAVE HAD A LOT OF
FLU
450
00:28:26,738 --> 00:28:29,541
AND THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER
ONES. SPANISH FLU WAS BAD,
AND WE
451
00:28:29,607 --> 00:28:31,209
DIDN'T HAVE THE TRAVEL WE DO
NOW.
452
00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:36,848
BACK IN 1918, YOU DIDN'T GO
ON A PLANE AND FLY TO AFRICA
AND FLY
453
00:28:36,915 --> 00:28:40,985
TO EUROPE AND FLY TO ASIA.
IT TOOK US THREE YEARS TO
GET
454
00:28:41,052 --> 00:28:43,188
RID OF THE SPANISH FLU.
WE SOCIAL DISTANCED.
455
00:28:43,254 --> 00:28:45,657
WE QUARANTINED.
WE SHUT DOWN CHURCHES, WE
SHUT
456
00:28:45,723 --> 00:28:47,492
DOWN SCHOOLS, AND OVER TIME
IT WENT AWAY.
457
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,528
AND WE'LL SEE THE SAME THING
HERE.
458
00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:52,931
AND THEREBY, JUST LIKE WE
HAVE THE FLU EVERY YEAR,
THERE WILL
459
00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:56,234
BE CORONAVIRUSES EVERY YEAR
THAT ARE A LITTLE BIT
DIFFERENT.
460
00:28:56,301 --> 00:28:57,569
SOMETIMES WE'LL GET A
VARIANT-SPECIFIC BOOSTER,
OTHERS
461
00:28:57,635 --> 00:29:00,772
WE MIGHT GET A STANDARD
BOOSTER AND WE'LL KEEP GOING
ON THIS AND
462
00:29:00,839 --> 00:29:03,007
WE'LL BE SAFE AND WE'RE
GOING BACK TO A NEW NORMAL.
463
00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:06,144
>> Stephen: WHEN IT COMES TO
THE BOOSTERS IF THREE IS
GOOD,
464
00:29:06,211 --> 00:29:10,115
IS FOUR BETTER?
BECAUSE-- I WANT TO POINT
OUT--
465
00:29:10,181 --> 00:29:14,219
ON THE LITTLE CARD THAT I
GOT, IMMUNIZATION CARD,
THERE WERE
466
00:29:14,285 --> 00:29:16,054
FOUR LINES.
( LAUGHTER )
467
00:29:16,121 --> 00:29:19,457
COMING.
>> HOW BACKWARD IS OUR
SYSTEM
468
00:29:19,524 --> 00:29:23,361
THAT WE HAVE A PIECE OF
PAPER THAT SAYS WHETHER YOU
WERE
469
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:25,130
VACCINATED OR NOT AND HOW
YOU GOT IT?
470
00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:28,533
THAT WE DON'T HAVE AN
ELECTRONIC SYSTEM, A CLOUD
-BASED SYSTEM.
471
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,803
IT'S NOT ON OUR PHONE.
WE HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER
THAT'S
472
00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:33,705
THE STANDARD OF CARE IN THE
UNITED STATES.
473
00:29:33,771 --> 00:29:37,675
BUT YES, FOUR WILL GIVE YOU
AN EVEN HIGHER LEVEL OF
IMMUNITY.
474
00:29:37,742 --> 00:29:40,512
AND THERE ARE SIDE EFFECTS
-- >> Stephen: HOW ABOUT A
475
00:29:40,578 --> 00:29:42,547
BAKKER'S DOZEN?
WHY NOT JUST HAVE PEOPLE
THROW
476
00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:48,386
THEM AT YOU LIKE A DART
BOARD? >> WELL, YOUR
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
477
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:55,226
BY THE WAY IS THE FIRST ONE
IN THE COUNTRY WHO WILL GET
A
478
00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:57,996
BAKERAS DOZEN BOOSTER.
>> Stephen: YES.
479
00:29:58,062 --> 00:30:00,598
WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK
BREAK. BUT STICK AROUND.
480
00:30:00,665 --> 00:30:04,302
WHEN WE COME BACK, DR. AGUS
WILL TELL US GOOD NEWS ABOUT
THE
481
00:30:04,369 --> 00:30:06,304
FIGHT AGAINST THE PANDEMIC.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
482
00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:33,898
THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING
BACK. WE'RE HERE WITH CBS
NEWS MEDICAL
483
00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:38,303
CONTRIBUTOR DR. DAVID AGUS.
LAST JANUARY, THE VIRUS
SPIKED
484
00:30:38,369 --> 00:30:44,842
AFTER THE HOLIDAYS.
AND WE'RE ALREADY SEEING A
SPIKE
485
00:30:44,909 --> 00:30:46,945
AFTER THANKSGIVING.
AS YOU SAID, IT'S LIKE 100
AND
486
00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:48,813
HOW MANY--
>> 119,000.
487
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:53,051
>> Stephen: 119,000.
HOW CAN PEOPLE TRAVEL AND
488
00:30:53,117 --> 00:30:56,888
CELEBRATE SAFELY THIS YEAR?
>> SO, TRAVEL IS SAFE.
489
00:30:56,955 --> 00:31:00,258
AIRPLANES ARE SAFE.
EVERY THREE OR FOUR MINUTES,
THE
490
00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:03,328
ENTIRE CIRCULATION OF THE
AIR GOES THROUGH A HEPA
FILTER AND
491
00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:08,032
VIRUS IS FILTERED OUT.
WE WEAR A MASK ON AN
AIRLINE.
492
00:31:08,099 --> 00:31:10,935
I FLEW HERE FROM LOS
ANGELES. I AM COMFORTABLE ON
AN AIRLINE.
493
00:31:11,002 --> 00:31:13,238
>> Stephen: PART OF THE
FILTER ISN'T ME BREATHING IN
THE AIR
494
00:31:13,304 --> 00:31:16,074
AND BREATHING IT OUT?
>> WE'RE BLOCKING THE
DROPLETS
495
00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:19,844
WITH THE MASK AND THERE'S
GOOD AIR FLOW, SO WITH GOOD
AIR FLOW
496
00:31:19,911 --> 00:31:22,146
AND THE MASK THE RISK IS
VERY, VERY LOW.
497
00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:25,617
I FLY ON A PLANE WHERE I CAN
SIT ALONE OR SIT WITH
SOMEBODY I
498
00:31:25,683 --> 00:31:29,520
KNOW AND I CHOOSE THE SEATS
APPROPRIATELY.
499
00:31:29,587 --> 00:31:32,023
ANTIGEN TESTING, SOMETHING
THE PRESIDENT TALKED ABOUT
TWO WEEKS
500
00:31:32,090 --> 00:31:34,926
AGO WHEN HE GAVE HIS NEWS
CONFERENCE-- I THINK IT WAS
TWO
501
00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:38,463
WEEKS AGO.
I LOST THE ABILITY TO TELL
TIME
502
00:31:38,529 --> 00:31:41,032
AND WHEN THINGS HAPPENING
DURING THE PANDEMIC.
503
00:31:41,099 --> 00:31:44,736
HE TALKED ABOUT EVERYONE IN
THE COUNTRY FOR NOW FOR
FREE, THE
504
00:31:44,802 --> 00:31:49,507
INSURANCE COMPANIES WILL
PAY, CAN GET AN ANTIGEN
TEST.
505
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:53,645
YOU SWAP YOURSELF AND PUT IT
ON A PIECE OF PAPER IN A
PLASTIC
506
00:31:53,711 --> 00:31:56,714
CARTRIDGE AND IT TELLS YOU
IA YOU'RE INFECTED WITH
COVID OR
507
00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:58,383
NOT.
>> Stephen: ONE LINE YOU'RE
508
00:31:58,449 --> 00:32:01,019
NOT INFECTED, AND TWO LINES
AND YOU'RE PREGNANT.
509
00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:03,187
WORKS WILL THE SAME WAY.
>> BUT IT'S VERY POWERFUL.
510
00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:09,093
SO BEFORE OUR THANKSGIVING
DINNER, WHEN FAMILY CAME
OVER WE
511
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,928
DID THAT TEST.
IT'S A LEVEL OF INSURANCE
THAT
512
00:32:10,995 --> 00:32:13,331
YOU'RE NOT INFECTIOUS.
>> Stephen: IF SOMEONE DOES
513
00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:15,667
GET COVID,s HOW IS TREATMENT
CHANGING?
514
00:32:15,733 --> 00:32:17,635
>> SO, THIS IS PRETTY WILD,
RIGHT.
515
00:32:17,702 --> 00:32:20,405
EARLY ON, IF YOU GOT COVID
AND WENT ON A VENTILATOR,
YOUR
516
00:32:20,471 --> 00:32:24,142
CHANCE OF SURVIVAL WAS 20%.
SIX MONTHS INTO THE
PANDEMIC,
517
00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:26,277
THAT NUMBER WENT UP TO 80%
WITH NO DRUGS.
518
00:32:26,344 --> 00:32:28,212
WE JUST GOT BETTER AT CARING
FOR IT.
519
00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:31,015
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
WE'RE STARTING TO GET SOME
DRUGS.
520
00:32:31,082 --> 00:32:38,089
THERE IS A DRUG THAT WILL BE
ANNOUNCED, F.D.A., E.U.A.
521
00:32:38,156 --> 00:32:40,625
APPROVAL, EMERGENCY USE
AUTHORIZATION FROM PFIZER,
IT'S
522
00:32:40,692 --> 00:32:43,227
A PILL CALLED A PROTEASE
INHIBITOR.
523
00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:45,930
VIRUSES ARE NOT ALIVE.
THEY GO INTO OUR CELLS AND
USE
524
00:32:45,997 --> 00:32:49,033
OUR MACHINERY TO DIVIDE, AND
THIS IS THE FIRST DRUG
DESIGNED
525
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:52,337
FOR COVID THAT BLOCKS THAT.
SO TAKING A PILL FOR FIVE
DAYS,
526
00:32:52,403 --> 00:32:56,341
IF YOU'RE EARLY ON, WILL
BLOCK YOU FROM BEING
HOSPITALIZED.
527
00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:57,575
THAT'S REMARKABLE.
( APPLAUSE ).
528
00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:03,414
THIS IS THE IMPORTANT
THING-- WHEN-- WHEN DO WE
GET THAT?
529
00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:04,782
WHEN IS THAT AVAILABLE?
>> THE NEXT WEEK OR TWO.
530
00:33:04,849 --> 00:33:06,851
>> Stephen: YOU'RE KIDDING!
>> I'M SERIOUS.
531
00:33:06,918 --> 00:33:08,519
>> Stephen: THAT'S
EXTRAORDINARY!
532
00:33:08,586 --> 00:33:12,357
( APPLAUSE )
BECAUSE THAT SEEMS LIKE A
REAL
533
00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:14,959
RETURN TO NORMALITY.
>> AND GET A LOD OF THIS --
534
00:33:15,026 --> 00:33:17,662
>> Stephen: I'M READY TO GET
LOADED.
535
00:33:17,729 --> 00:33:22,200
>> TODAY, TODAY, THE F.D.A.
GAVE AUTHORIZATION FOR 4% OF
OUR
536
00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:24,802
COUNTRY ARE IMMUNE
SUPPRESSED. THEY HAVE
CANCER.
537
00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:28,506
THEY HAVE AUTO IMMUNE
DISEASE. THEY CAN'T RESPOND
TO A VACCINE
538
00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:31,209
AND THEY'VE BEEN SHUT
INSIDE. THERE IS NOW AN
ANTIBODY
539
00:33:31,275 --> 00:33:35,079
APPROVED TODAY THAT IS A
SHOT IN THE ARM THAT GIVES
YOU 12 MONTHS
540
00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:37,782
PREXZ FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T
RESPOND TO A VACCINE.
541
00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:39,050
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT A
VACCINE.
542
00:33:39,117 --> 00:33:40,218
WHAT IS IT?
>> IT'S A MONOCLONAL
ANTIBODIES
543
00:33:40,284 --> 00:33:41,652
THAT IS LONG LASTING.
INSTEAD OF LASTING A MONTH
LIKE
544
00:33:41,719 --> 00:33:45,757
THE CURRENT ONES DO, THIS
LASTS A YEAR AND IS ABLE TO
PROTECT
545
00:33:45,823 --> 00:33:48,159
PEOPLE WHO ARE IMMUNE
SUPPRESSED.
546
00:33:48,226 --> 00:33:50,962
>> Stephen: SO INSTEAD OF--
LET ME SEE IF I UNDERSTAND
THIS.
547
00:33:51,028 --> 00:33:53,898
IF YOU'RE INJECTING
ANTIBODIES, THAT MEANS
YOU'RE NOT PUTTING
548
00:33:53,965 --> 00:33:58,703
SOMETHING IN TO GET YOUR
BODY TO REGISTER AND MAKE
YOUR OWN
549
00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:01,372
ANTIBODIES YOU'RE PROVIDING
THE ANTIBODY.
550
00:34:01,439 --> 00:34:03,641
>> EXACTLY.
WE'RE GIVING THEM ANTIBODIES
AND
551
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,511
GIVE THEM PROTECTION.
SO YOU'RE ENABLING THEM TO
SEE
552
00:34:06,577 --> 00:34:10,681
THEIR GRANDKIDS, TO TALK TO
THEIR NEIGHBORS, TO GO TO
THE
553
00:34:10,748 --> 00:34:11,682
SUPERMARKET.
THIS IS A BIG STEP.
554
00:34:11,749 --> 00:34:14,519
THESE ARE EXCITING, WE HAVE
THESE TREATMENTS.
555
00:34:14,585 --> 00:34:17,121
AND WE HAVE THE STANDARD
MONOCLONAL ANTIBODIESES.
556
00:34:17,188 --> 00:34:20,691
SOME WORK AGAINST OMICRON.
IF YOU GET SICK AND IT'S
EARLY
557
00:34:20,758 --> 00:34:23,361
WE CAN GIVE YOU THAT
INFUSION AND STOP THE VIRUS
COLD.
558
00:34:23,428 --> 00:34:25,530
WE ARE MUCH BETTER AT
DEALING WITH IT.
559
00:34:25,596 --> 00:34:27,365
THE KEY TO ALL OF THIS,
THOUGH, IS VACCINE.
560
00:34:27,432 --> 00:34:31,836
AND I CAN'T SAY IT DANNY.
IF WE VACCINATE, WE CAN STOP
561
00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,271
THIS VIRUS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU SEE ANY
562
00:34:33,337 --> 00:34:36,307
HOPE THAT VACCINE RATES ARE
INCREASING?
563
00:34:36,374 --> 00:34:37,742
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY-- REALLY?
564
00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:41,512
>> FEAR OF OMICRON.
I MEAN, YOU HATE TO SAY IT,
FEAR
565
00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,014
IS GETTING PEOPLE TO BE
VACCINATED.
566
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:47,051
>> Stephen: SO I STARTED
THIS INTERVIEW BY NOT HYPING
THE
567
00:34:47,118 --> 00:34:51,489
FEAR, BUT MAYBE I SHOULD BE
HYPING THE FEAR TO GET
PEOPLE TO
568
00:34:51,556 --> 00:34:53,224
VACCINATE.
>> GOOD POINT.
569
00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:57,595
( LAUGHTER )
AMONG THE UNVACCINATEDOF
570
00:34:57,662 --> 00:34:58,796
OMICRON.
AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST TOLD
YOU
571
00:34:58,863 --> 00:35:01,933
THE BOOSTERS WILL WORK.
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FEAR
IF
572
00:35:01,999 --> 00:35:04,836
YOU HAVE HAD A BOOSTER.
GET THAT BOOSTER.
573
00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:07,271
BUT WE'RE SEEING, OVER THE
LAST TWO WEEKS, REALLY
NUMBERS GOING
574
00:35:07,338 --> 00:35:09,907
UP, WHERE SEVERAL MILLION
PEOPLE A DAY IN THE COUNTRY
ARE BEING
575
00:35:09,974 --> 00:35:12,677
VACCINATED OR GETTING A
BOOSTER. AND THAT'S NEW.
576
00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:15,746
IT HAD DIPPED FOR A WHILE,
AND NOW IT'S COMING BACK UP,
WHICH
577
00:35:15,813 --> 00:35:17,081
IS GOOD.
( APPLAUSE ).
578
00:35:17,148 --> 00:35:20,251
SO MUCH.
DR. DAVID AGUS, EVERYBODY!
579
00:35:20,318 --> 00:35:24,155
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY NATALIE
HEMBY.
580
00:35:35,566 --> 00:35:38,936
TRACK FROM HER ALBUM, "PINS
AND NEEDLES," NATALIE HEMBY!
581
00:35:39,003 --> 00:35:46,444
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪
582
00:35:46,511 --> 00:35:54,018
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ GIVE IT UP, DON'T TRY
583
00:35:54,085 --> 00:35:58,990
IS WHAT I TELL MYSELF
♪ BUT IT'S LIKE RUNNING AWAY
584
00:35:59,056 --> 00:36:06,964
FROM RAIN IN THE DESERT
♪ STUMBLED UP, BLACKED OUT
585
00:36:07,031 --> 00:36:08,733
DON'T KNOW HOW HARD I FELL
♪ BUT I'VE BEEN CRAWLING TO
YOU
586
00:36:08,799 --> 00:36:14,972
EVER SINCE WE'VE BEEN
TOGETHER ♪ I'M WORKING
OVERTIME
587
00:36:15,039 --> 00:36:19,911
FOLLOWING CLOSE BEHIND
♪ YOU GOT MY NUMBER, MY
THUNDER
588
00:36:19,977 --> 00:36:25,516
AND IT'S YOUR THUMB
THAT I'M UNDER
589
00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:30,988
♪ I'M SINKING IN YOUR SAND
YOU GOT THE UPPER HAND
590
00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:34,992
♪ I'VE GOT YOU ON CLOUD NINE
YOU GOT ME ON
591
00:36:35,059 --> 00:36:46,971
PINS AND NEEDLES
♪ DIGGING MY OWN GRAVE
592
00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:49,507
EVERY TIME YOU WALK THAT WAY
♪ YOU BURY ME WITH YOUR LACK
OF
593
00:36:49,574 --> 00:36:57,915
GOOD INTENTIONS
♪ WELL, HONEY, YOU GOT ME
594
00:36:57,982 --> 00:36:59,550
BEGGING, HURTING ON MY KNEES
♪ AND IT'S THE KIND OF PAIN
595
00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:06,357
THAT I CAN'T LOSE
♪ FOR THE WINNING
596
00:37:06,424 --> 00:37:08,893
♪ I'M WORKING OVERTIME
FOLLOWING CLOSE BEHIND
597
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:12,196
♪ YOU GOT MY NUMBER, MY
THUNDER AND IT'S YOUR THUMB
598
00:37:12,263 --> 00:37:18,970
THAT I'M UNDER
♪ I'M SINKING IN YOUR SAND
599
00:37:19,036 --> 00:37:23,174
YOU'VE GOT THE UPPER HAND
♪ I GOT YOU ON CLOUD NINE
600
00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:31,983
YOU GOT ME ON
PINS AND NEEDLES
601
00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:40,992
♪ SELF-RESPECT
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT
602
00:37:41,058 --> 00:37:49,767
BUT IT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE
♪ I'M ENAMORED BY THE HAMMER
603
00:37:49,834 --> 00:37:58,643
LAYING DOWN ON ME
♪ I'M WORKING OVERTIME
604
00:37:58,709 --> 00:38:02,079
FOLLOWING CLOSE BEHIND
♪ YOU GOT MY NUMBER, MY
THUNDER
605
00:38:02,146 --> 00:38:07,518
AND IT'S YOUR AH, AH
♪ I'M SINKING IN YOUR SAND
606
00:38:07,585 --> 00:38:13,491
YOU GOT THE UPPER HAND
♪ I'VE GOT YOU ON CLOUD NINE
607
00:38:13,557 --> 00:38:23,000
YOU GOT ME ON
PINS AND NEEDLES
608
00:38:23,067 --> 00:38:29,640
♪ PINS AND NEEDLES ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
609
00:38:29,707 --> 00:38:32,510
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
EVERYBODY!
610
00:38:32,576 --> 00:38:35,279
THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE
SHOW." TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN
MY GUEST
611
00:38:35,346 --> 00:38:38,282
WILL BE MICHAEL B. JORDAN.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
612
00:38:38,349 --> 00:38:40,751
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR
1,000th SHOW.
613
00:38:40,818 --> 00:38:42,153
GOOD NIGHT.