1 00:00:01,301 --> 00:00:04,437 >> VERY PUBLIC INFIGHTING AMONG THE HOUSE G.O.P. 2 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:07,874 AT THE CENTER OF THE EXCHANGE, REPRESENTATIVE NANCY MACE, WHO 3 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,877 CRITIZED FELLOW REPUBLICAN LAUREN BOEBERT FOR MAKING 4 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:14,547 ANTI-MUSLIM COMMENTS ABOUT DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSWOMAN ILHAN 5 00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,216 OMAR, AND OTHERS. 6 00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:19,853 IN RESPONSE TO MACY'S COMMENTS, CONGRESSWOMAN MARJORIE TAYLOR 7 00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:23,089 GREENE TWEETED, IN PART, "NANCY MACE IS THE TRASH IN THE G.O.P. 8 00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,624 CONFERENCE." 9 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,661 >> IT'S LIKE THEY'RE AUDITIONING FOR "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES." 10 00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:33,833 >> YOU'RE WATCHING C-SPAN3. 11 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,668 THE NURSE WILL BE MAKING ROUNDS SHORTLY. 12 00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:39,038 COMING UP NEXT, "THE REAL HOUSE MEMBERS OF CAPITOL HILL." 13 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:43,877 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> I FILLED OUT PAPERWORK TO 14 00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:45,745 LEGALLY ADOPT KYLE RITTENHOUSE. 15 00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:48,648 >> ALGEBRA IS A MUSLIM PLOT TO CREATE SOMETHING I DON'T 16 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:49,849 UNDERSTAND. 17 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:55,855 >> I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ME, EITHER. 18 00:00:55,922 --> 00:01:00,660 >> IS THERE ANYTHING THAT THE NATIONAL FOREST SERVICE CAN DO 19 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:07,467 TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF THE MOON'S ORBIT? 20 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:10,270 >> TONIGHT'S EPISODE: THE REAL HOUSE MEMBERS TOUCH BASE AT THE 21 00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:10,970 NATIONAL PRAYER BREAKFAST. 22 00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,639 >> JEWISH SPACE LASERS ARE REAL! 23 00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:18,678 PAY ATTENTION, PLEASE! 24 00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:20,647 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 25 00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:28,655 TONIGHT: THE WALKING SPREAD. 26 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:36,663 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: JAVIER BARDEM 27 00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:37,897 AND MUSICAL GUEST GANG OF YOUTH FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY 28 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,336 HUMAN. 29 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:48,641 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 30 00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:52,045 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 31 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:56,649 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 32 00:01:56,716 --> 00:02:06,693 >> Stephen: OH, HEY! 33 00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:12,632 >> Stephen: OH, HEY! 34 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:22,442 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY! 35 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,644 >> Audience: STEPHEN! 36 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:24,978 STEPHEN! 37 00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:25,879 STEPHEN! 38 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:28,648 STEPHEN! 39 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:36,656 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THANK YOU! 40 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:40,660 THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 41 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,530 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 42 00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:48,668 WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO "THE LATE SHOW." 43 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:51,004 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 44 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:56,409 FOLKS, I HAVE SPENT ALMOST MOST OF THE ENTIRE LAST YEAR 45 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:59,812 TRYING TO AVOID TALKING ABOUT OUR FORMER PRESIDENT, "TEENY 46 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:02,682 WEENY PEENY MUSSOLINI." 47 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:07,754 BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY TO AVOID HIM, HIS NAME KEEPS 48 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,088 COMING UP. 49 00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:10,290 HE'S HISTORY'S TACO BURP. 50 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,357 THE LATEST BELCH COMES IN A NEW BOOK FROM FORMER WHITE HOUSE 51 00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:15,828 CHIEF OF STAFF AND MAN MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT AS HE 52 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:17,297 CRUSHES YOUR CHILD'S HAMSTER ( LAUGHTER ) 53 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:21,267 MARK MEADOWS. 54 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:25,271 ACCORDING TO MARK MEADOWS, IN THE FALL OF 2020, THE FORMER 55 00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:28,775 PRESIDENT TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID A FEW DAYS BEFORE HIS 56 00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:33,179 FIRST DEBATE WITH JOE BIDEN. 57 00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:38,751 OKAY, THAT IS TOTALLY IRRESPONSIBLE. 58 00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,486 THAT IS ALMOST AS RECKLESS AS WHEN WALTER MONDALE DEBATED 59 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,989 REAGAN WEARING HIS PET COBRA. 60 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,724 NOW, A WEEK LATER, WE LEARNED THE PRESIDENT ACTUALLY DID HAVE 61 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,492 COVID AND WAS HOSPITALIZED FOR IT. 62 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,295 BUT WHO COULD HAVE KNOWN THAT HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN POSITIVE AT THE 63 00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:55,668 DEBATE THAT TUESDAY? 64 00:03:55,735 --> 00:04:00,974 LET'S ASK MY GOOD FRIEND, ME FROM LAST YEAR: 65 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,577 SO IF HE WAS FEELING DOWN ON WEDNESDAY, THAT MEANS HE MAY 66 00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:07,213 HAVE BEEN CONTAGIOUS WHEN HE DEBATED JOE BIDEN. 67 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:17,256 YOU CAN'T GO WRONG WHEN YOU BET ON THE FORMER PRESIDENT LYING. 68 00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:25,298 YOU CAN'T GO WRONG WHEN YOU BET ON THE FORMER PRESIDENT LYING. 69 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:32,538 AND HIM NOT PAYING TAXES. 70 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,574 NOW, ACCORDING TO MEADOWS' BOOK, THREE DAYS BEFORE THE DEBATE, 71 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:35,575 MEADOWS TOLD HIS BOSS, "MR. 72 00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:36,809 PRESIDENT," MEADOWS SAID, I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS. 73 00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,544 YOU'VE TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID-19." 74 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,214 NOW, MEADOWS DESCRIBES HIMSELF AS A DEVOUT CHRISTIAN, SO 75 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,517 INSTEAD OF WRITING WHAT THE PRESIDENT ACTUALLY SAID IN HIS 76 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:47,887 REPLY, MEADOWS SAYS IT "RHYMED WITH 'OH SPIT, YOU'VE GOTTA BE 77 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,658 TRUCKING LIDDING ME.'" ( LAUGHTER ) 78 00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:55,461 MEADOWS, OF COURSE-- MEADOWS, OF COURSE, HAPPY TO HELP UNDERMINE 79 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:59,232 DEMOCRACY, BUT HE WON'T SWEAR. 80 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,767 IT EXPLAINS THE TITLE OF HIS BOOK, "I'M A DUCKING PIECE OF 81 00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:05,271 ZIT WITH MY NOSE UP RUMP'S GRASSHOLE." 82 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:09,942 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MARK MEADOWS FANS. 83 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,411 >> Jon: OH, THEY'RE FANS. 84 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,113 >> Stephen: MARK MEADOWS FANS HERE TONIGHT. 85 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:17,283 ALSO, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE TRUCKING LIDDING ME?" 86 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,553 SO, I'M GOING TO GUESS, IN THE MEADOWS HOUSEHOLD, THE WORD 87 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:25,491 "KIDDING" S WHAT THEY CALL THE ACT OF "MAKING KIDS." 88 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:30,897 ( LAUGHTER ) "AND IF YOU KID YOURSELF, YOU'LL 89 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:32,031 GO BLIND." 90 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,266 NOW, AFTER THE PRESIDENT'S POSITIVE TEST, THE WHITE HOUSE 91 00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:36,769 HAD HIM TAKE A DIFFERENT TEST AND GOT A NEGATIVE RESULT, 92 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,538 WHICH, ACCORDING TO MEADOWS, THE PRESIDENT TOOK AS FULL 93 00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:41,274 PERMISSION TO PRESS ON AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. 94 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,544 NOT EXACTLY THE ACTIONS OF SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT PUBLIC 95 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:49,282 HEALTH. 96 00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:51,851 "OH, I ONLY MIGHT HAVE HERPES? 97 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,286 WELL THEN, PUCKER UP, LADIES, THE KISSING BOOTH IS BACK ON. 98 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,053 OH, THIS? 99 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,855 I'VE JUST BEEN EATING CORNFLAKES." 100 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:56,689 MEADOWS-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 101 00:05:56,756 --> 00:06:03,396 "I BUMPED MY LIP ON A BIRKIT." 102 00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:05,431 NOW, MEADOWS TOOK A DIFFERENT VIEW, AND INSTRUCTED EVERYONE IN 103 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:06,766 THE PRESIDENT'S IMMEDIATE CIRCLE TO TREAT HIM AS IF HE WAS 104 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:10,236 POSITIVE. 105 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:14,607 SO NO TOUCHING HIM, NO GETTING CLOSE TO HIM, AVOID HIM UNLESS 106 00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:15,641 ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY-- A STRATEGY THE C.D.C. CALLS 107 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,677 "THE MELANIA." 108 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:18,578 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 109 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,713 THE DEBATE-- ( APPLAUSE ) 110 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,516 IT'S AN OLDY BUT GOODIE. 111 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:27,520 I'M NOSTALGIC. 112 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:33,059 THE DEBATE WAS THREE DAYS LATER, AND ACCORDING TO MODERATOR CHRIS 113 00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:36,763 WALLACE, THE PRESIDENT WAS NOT TESTED BEFORE THE DEBATE BECAUSE 114 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:41,367 HE ARRIVED LATE. 115 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:42,802 S6 ORGANIZERS, WALLACE SAID, RELIED ON THE HONOR SYSTEM. 116 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,737 HOW CAN YOU RELY ON THE HONOR SYSTEM WHEN YOU KNOW HE DOESN'T 117 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:45,838 HAVE ANY? 118 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,507 THAT'S LIKE MEETING WITH VLADIMIR PUTIN AND RELYING ON 119 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:48,775 THE SHIRT SYSTEM. 120 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:52,645 SO WHY DID MEADOWS LET THE DEBATE GO FORWARD? 121 00:06:52,712 --> 00:07:00,820 WELL, BECUSE HE SAYS, BY DEBATE DAY, HIS BOSS LOOKED A LITTLE 122 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,054 BIT BETTER. 123 00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:03,523 "HIS FACE, FOR THE MOST PART AT LEAST, HAD REGAINED ITS USUAL 124 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,625 LIGHT-BRONZE HUE." 125 00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:06,759 "LIGHT-BRONZE HUE." 126 00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:07,527 MAYBE HE'S HEALTHIER. 127 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:11,531 MAYBE IT'S MAYBELLINE. 128 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:12,765 IT'S MAYBELLINE. 129 00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,535 IN FACT, THEIR MORTUARY LINE: "LOOKS LIKE HE'S SLEEPING." 130 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,771 COINCIDENTALLY, MEADOWS DROPPED HIS BOOK PREVIEW ON THE SAME DAY 131 00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:23,042 THAT HE AGREED TO COOPERATE IN THE CONGRESSIONAL CAPITOL ATTACK 132 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,310 INVESTIGATION. 133 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:25,011 SO, HIS CONGRESSIONAL TESTIMONY MIGHT JUST BE A CLEVER MARKETING 134 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:27,513 PLOY: ( AS CONGRESSMAN ) 135 00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:32,151 "MR. MEADOWS, WHAT DID THE FORMER PRESIDENT KNOW ABOUT THE 136 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,419 PLANNING FOR JANUARY 6?" ( AS MEADOWS ) 137 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:38,457 "A LOT. 138 00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:39,759 AND I'M GOING TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW IN 139 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:40,760 MY NEW BOOK. 140 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:44,664 AT $14.95 A COPY, THAT'S A STEAL YOU CAN'T STOP." 141 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:53,406 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SPEAKING OF COVID... 142 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:56,676 WE ALWAYS ARE. 143 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,912 TONIGHT IS THE FOURTH NIGHT OF OMICRON-NUKAH, AND IN RESPONSE 144 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:00,947 TO THE NEW VARIANT, THE C.D.C. 145 00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:04,283 PLANS TO TOUGHEN CORONAVIRUS TESTING FOR TRAVELERS. 146 00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:07,520 TOUGHER TESTING-- THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING: DOUBLE-WIDE 147 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:10,489 Q-TIP, AND NOT UP THE NOSE. 148 00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:13,526 ( LAUGHTER ) TRY TO RELAX. 149 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:16,295 THE NEW RULE WILL REQUIRE EVERYONE ENTERING THE U.S. TO 150 00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:19,532 SHOW A NEGATIVE RESULT FROM A TEST WITHIN 24 HOURS OF 151 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,234 DEPARTURE. 152 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,169 HOW WAS THAT NOT ALREADY THE RULE? 153 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:27,273 THIS WHOLE TIME, THEY'VE BEEN LETTING PEOPLE TEST UP TO THREE 154 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,274 DAYS BEFORE THEIR FLIGHT. 155 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,475 THAT'S A BIG GAP. 156 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,544 WHEN THE COPS PULL OVER A DRUNK DRIVER, THEY DON'T GO, "SIR, 157 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,446 STEP OUT OF THE CAR. 158 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,146 OH, WHAT'S THAT? 159 00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:35,615 YOU TESTED SOBER THREE DAYS AGO? 160 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:35,948 MY BAD. 161 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,784 I'M SORRY. 162 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,120 HOOTERS IS THAT WAY, ON YOUR WAY. 163 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,522 JUST DRIVE THROUGH THE WALMART." 164 00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:48,294 ( APPLAUSE ) THE C.D.C.'S NOT ALONE. 165 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,631 YESTERDAY, THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION ADVISED 166 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:55,534 UNVACCINATED PEOPLE AGED 60 AND OLDER TO POSTPONE HEIR TRAVEL. 167 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:58,337 THEY ALSO POLITELY REQUEST THAT ALL TRAVELERS 60 AND OVER STOP 168 00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:00,273 SHOWING PICTURES OF THEIR GRANDKIDS TO THE PERSON SEATED 169 00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:04,277 NEXT TO THEM: "THIS IS AIDAN. 170 00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:05,878 HE'S IN THE COAST GUARD. 171 00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,613 AND MADISON HERE IS IN BEAUTY SCHOOL. 172 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,950 OH, YOU'RE OFF TO THE BATHROOM AGAIN? 173 00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:12,285 OKAY, I'LL WALK WITH YOU. 174 00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:13,286 THIS IS DAPHNE. 175 00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,086 SHE HAS A NOSE RING. 176 00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:19,392 I THINK THAT MEANS SHE'S A LESBIAN." 177 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:21,861 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT, HOPEFULLY, THESE TRAVEL 178 00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,297 RESTRICTIONS WILL HELP STOP THE SPREAD, AND WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO 179 00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:28,267 WORRY ABOUT THE OMICRON VARIANT IN THE UNITED STATES. 180 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,569 >> CNN CAN NOW REPORT THE C.D.C. 181 00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,004 HAS IDENTIFIED ITS FIRST CASE OF THE OMICRON VARIANT IN THE 182 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,973 UNITED STATES. 183 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:39,745 >> THE CALIFORNIA AND SAN FRANCISCO DEPARTMENTS OF PUBLIC 184 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:43,549 HEALTH AND THE C.D.C. HAVE CONFIRMED THAT A RECENT CASE OF 185 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:48,287 COVID 19 AMONG AN INDIVIDUAL IN CALIFORNIA WAS CAUSED BY THE 186 00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:50,923 OMICRON VARIANT. 187 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,292 >> Stephen: OKAY, THERE'S NEED TO PANIC. 188 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,528 EVERYBODY CALM DOWN! 189 00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:59,432 WE JUST NEED TO SOCIAL DISTANCE AND MAYBE BLOW UP THE GOLDEN 190 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:04,270 GATE BRIDGE AND WALL OFF ALL OF SAN FRANCISCO AS A HOT ZONE OF 191 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:08,274 THE DAMNED! 192 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,110 I LOVE EVERYONE IN THE BAY AREA, BUT GOOD-BYE. 193 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,546 WE DON'T NEED YOUR SOURDOUGH ANYMORE. 194 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:19,552 THANKS TO COVID, WE KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT OURSELVES. 195 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:25,524 ( APPLAUSE ) IN THE WORLD OF POLITICS, 196 00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:28,294 PRESIDENT BIDEN'S APPROVAL RATING KEEPS GOING DOWN. 197 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:31,530 HE'S PARTICULARLY NOT DOIN' SO HOT WITH THE YOUTHLINGS. 198 00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:37,470 ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL, BIDEN HAS A 46% APPROVAL RATING AMONG 199 00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:39,739 AMERICANS AGED 18 TO 29, WHICH IS A 13-POINT DROP FROM WHERE HE 200 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:40,573 WAS IN MARCH. 201 00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:43,542 BUT TO BE FAIR, BIDEN IS 79 YEARS OLD. 202 00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:47,146 YOUNG PEOPLE JUST WANT SOMEONE THEY CAN RELATE TO, WHICH IS WHY 203 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:52,084 THE MOST POPULAR POLITICIAN AMONG YOUNG AMERICANS IS 204 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,419 80-YEAR-OLD SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS. 205 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,388 ( AS BERNIE ) "THAT'S RIGHT. 206 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:56,589 THE YOUTHS LOVE BERNIE. 207 00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,858 THEY GO GA-GA OVER MY MITTENS AND GOO-GOO OVER MY IDEA THAT 208 00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:00,292 THEY SHOULD HAVE HEALTH CARE. 209 00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:01,527 THEY STAN ME. 210 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:07,533 THAT'S THE TEA, FAM. 211 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,734 NO CAP. 212 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:12,238 NOW SCOOP YOUR UNCLE BERNIE A GENEROUS LADLE OF THE CHICKEN 213 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:13,539 NOODLE. 214 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:16,275 BITCH BETTER HAVE MY SOUP." 215 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,545 BITCH BETTER HAVE MY SOUP." 216 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,048 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SOUP 217 00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:24,283 "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY SOUP." 218 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,619 ONE REASON THE YOUTHS ARE DOWN ON BIDEN IS THAT THEY'RE WORRIED 219 00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:32,291 ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR DEMOCRACY. 220 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,793 IN FACT, 35% SAID IT IS LIKELY THEY WILL SEE A SECOND CIVIL WAR 221 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:34,493 IN THEIR LIFETIME. 222 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,761 NUH-UH-UH. 223 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:36,328 NO GOING BACK FOR A SECOND CIVIL WAR UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR FIRST 224 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:38,998 ONE. 225 00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:40,299 I STILL SEE SOME PLANTATION WEDDING VENUES ON THAT PLATE, 226 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,536 YOUNG LADY. 227 00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:44,770 IT GETS WORSE. 228 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:48,507 25% OF THOSE POLLED SAID THERE WAS A CHANCE AT LEAST ONE STATE 229 00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:51,243 WOULD SECEDE IN THEIR LIFETIME. 230 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:51,844 OOH! 231 00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:52,645 CAN WE VOTE ON WHICH ONE? 232 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:53,212 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 233 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:56,215 -- I-- I-- PICK WYOMING. 234 00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,884 THERE'S ONLY, LIKE, NINE PEOPLE THERE, AND ONE OF THEM IS KANYE 235 00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:00,219 NOW. 236 00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:06,358 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT THERE IS A CHANCE THE YOUTHS 237 00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:10,362 COULD COME AROUND ON THE PRESIDENT, BECAUSE AFTER A VIDEO 238 00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:12,164 WENT VIRAL ON THE TIKTOK, THE INTERNET IS SWOONING OVER JOE 239 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:15,534 BIDEN'S HOT SECRET SERVICE AGENT. 240 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,470 OKAY, BUT AREN'T ALL SECRET SERVICE AGENTS HOT? 241 00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,472 I'M PRETTY SURE THE JOB LISTING SAYS, "AGENT WANTED: MUST LOOK 242 00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:21,607 COOL IN SHADES. 243 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:25,544 TALL AND HANDSOME. 244 00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:26,912 ABLE TO CARRY ME AROUND LIKE A LITTLE BABY IN THOSE BIG, STRONG 245 00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:28,247 ARMS." 246 00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,548 THE VIDEO IS FROM BIDEN'S TRIP TO NANTUCKET LAST WEEKEND. 247 00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:39,592 LET'S TAKE A LOOK: ♪ ♪ ♪ 248 00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:48,634 LET'S TAKE A LOOK: ♪ ♪ ♪ 249 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:49,835 >> Stephen: WHOA! 250 00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,071 IF HE'S THERE, WHO'S MANNING THE DOOR AT ABERCROMBIE & FITCH? 251 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,939 I DON'T-- ( APPLAUSE ). 252 00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:54,306 WHAT? 253 00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:58,444 NO, NO, NO. 254 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,346 BUT TRULY, WOULDN'T ANYONE LOOK FINE WITH THAT MUSIC AND 255 00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:01,547 SUNGLASSES? 256 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,917 LET'S TRY IT OUT: ♪ ♪ ♪ 257 00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:18,864 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NAH, IT'S DEFINITELY THAT GUY. 258 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:25,304 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NAH, IT'S DEFINITELY THAT GUY. 259 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:35,681 AND I PERSONALLY WANT TO SASAROUTE THAT AGENT. 260 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,149 BECAUSE DESPITE ALL THIS ATTENTION TO HIS SEXINESS, HE'S 261 00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:38,384 FOCUSED ON DOING HIS JOB, JUST LIKE MY HEAD OF SECURITY, 262 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:38,984 SILVIO. 263 00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:41,554 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SILVIO? 264 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,689 >> YES, SIR. 265 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:44,823 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 266 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:48,127 MY GUEST IS JAVIER BARDEM. 267 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:49,328 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, IT'S THE MOST GOOPIEST TIME OF THE YEAR. 268 00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:49,929 JOIN US. 269 00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:29,802 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SAY HELLO TO THE 270 00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:32,871 BAND, EVERYBODY, JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 271 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:36,575 KEEPING IT HUMAN OVER THERE. 272 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:41,313 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 273 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,816 JON, I-- I AM INTERVIEWING A MAN TONIGHT. 274 00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:44,984 >> Jon: YES. 275 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:51,190 >> Stephen: AN INCREDIBLY TALENTED ACTOR, A-- A AVATAR OF 276 00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:52,791 MASCULINITY, I BELIEVE. 277 00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:53,859 >> Jon: MMM. 278 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,361 >> Stephen: MR. JAVIER BARDEM IS HERE THIS EVENING. 279 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:56,962 >> Jon: RIGHT IN THE BUILDING. 280 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:57,830 RIGHT HERE IN THE BUILDING. 281 00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,765 >> Stephen: INCREDIBLY TALENTED. 282 00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:03,335 IN THE NEW MOVIE "BEING THE RICARDOS," AND ALSO "DUNE." 283 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:06,605 I MIGHT ASK HIM A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS ABOUT "DUNE." 284 00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:07,806 I MIGHT HAVE TO. 285 00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:10,843 LEGALLY I THINK I HAVE TO ASK HIM A FEW QUESTIONS ABOUT CAN 286 00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:11,477 THE DUNE." 287 00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:13,946 HE DOESN'T HAVE TO RESPOND. 288 00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:20,052 I'LL JUST ASK HIM THE QUESTION AND STARE INTO THOSE EYES. 289 00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,754 FOLKS, THE HOLIDAY SEASON HAS BEEN HIT WITH A HOST OF 290 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,656 SHORTAGES, TOYS TO DECORATIONS TO THE LIQUOR YOU NEED TO GET 291 00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:26,692 THROUGH ASSEMBLING THE TOYS AND PUTTING UP THE DECORATIONS. 292 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,494 BUT ONE THING THERE'S NO SHORTAGE OF: STUPID RICH PEOPLE 293 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:29,662 HAVING MONEY. 294 00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:33,299 AND WHO BETTER TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT HOLIDAY CASH THAN 295 00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:37,303 LIFESTYLE GURU AND WOMAN HEARING YOUR ANNUAL SALARY, GWYNETH 296 00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:41,307 PALTROW. 297 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:43,008 NOW, IT'S DECEMBER 1ST, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS: THE GOOP 298 00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:45,311 GIFT GUIDE HAS ARRIVED. 299 00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:48,347 AND, AS EVER, IT'S GOT SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE, FOR YOUR SISTER 300 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:50,215 WHO LOVES COLONICS; TO YOUR DAD WHO LOVES COLONICS; TO YOUR 301 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,351 MEEMAW, WHO LOVES MAKING COOKIES WHILE SHE GETS A COLONIC. 302 00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:59,124 HERE'S A PEEK AT THIS YEAR'S MOST GOOP-TASTIC GIFTS, STARTING 303 00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:01,627 WITH A VERY SPECIFICALLY PRICED $307 LUXE GARDEN HOSE, THAT'S 304 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,330 ONLY DIFFERENT FROM A REGULAR HOSE BECAUSE IT'S DONE IN A 305 00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:07,166 SOFT, POWDERY GREEN. 306 00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:11,036 SO IT'S TEN TIMES MORE EXPENSIVE THAN A REGULAR HOSE FOR NO 307 00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,338 REASON, BUT IT'S PERFECT FOR WATERING THE TREES THAT YOUR 308 00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:15,674 MONEY GROWS ON. 309 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,210 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 310 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:22,481 YOU KNOW THAT HOSE-- ( APPLAUSE ) 311 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,350 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT HOSE WOULD ALSO BE GOOD FOR? 312 00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:25,617 COLONICS. 313 00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:34,126 ( LAUGHTER ) YOU BETTER HOPE IT'S SOFT. 314 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:35,461 THERE'S ALSO THIS $1,900 ROSE QUARTZ CHECKERS SET, FOR WHEN 315 00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:36,628 YOU WANT TO SAY, "I'M RICH, BUT I'M ALSO TOO DUMB TO PLAY 316 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:40,332 CHESS." 317 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:48,340 ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, NO BIT OF GOOPERY WOULD BE 318 00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:52,177 COMPLETE WITHOUT DESIGNER NONSENSE, LIKE THIS $10,500 SLED 319 00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:55,614 BY CHANEL-- INSPIRED, NO DOUBT, BY THE FAMOUS SCENE FROM 320 00:16:55,681 --> 00:17:03,389 "CITIZEN KANE": >> RIP OFF 321 00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:04,556 >> Stephen: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 322 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,325 YO'RE THINKING: "STEVE, IN A TIME OF ECONOMIC UNCERTAINTY, 323 00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:07,626 ISN'T IT TONE-DEAF TO FLEECE PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR HARD-EARNED 324 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:13,966 MONEY?" TO WHICH I SAY, "CAN'T HEAR YOU 325 00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,200 OVER ALL THAT CASH." 326 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:19,838 WHICH IS WHY TONIGHT, I AM PROUD TO UNVEIL THE 2021 GIFT GUIDE 327 00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:24,943 FROM MY VERY OWN COVETTON HOUSE. 328 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,079 ♪ BAROQUE SIMPLICITY. 329 00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:27,813 SHABBY ELEGANCE. 330 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,850 GIVE ME MONEY. 331 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:39,658 COVETTON HOUSE. 332 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,926 >> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME TO THE COVETTON HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE, 333 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:43,829 WHERE WE PUT THE CHRIST BACK IN, "JESUS, THAT'S EXPENSIVE." 334 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:51,837 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 335 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:55,007 FIRST UP, THIS $804.69 WATERING CAN FINISHED IN A DULL, BROWNY 336 00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:56,141 BROWN. 337 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:59,111 GREAT FOR ALL YOUR GARDENING NEEDS AND, BY THE WAY, ALSO 338 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:01,713 GREAT FOR COLONICS. 339 00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:03,315 ALTHOUGH, DUE TO THE SPOUT, YOU'RE ALSO GOING TO NEED A BITE 340 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:07,486 STICK AND A VERY DETERMINED PARTNER. 341 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,355 ( LAUGHTER ) NEXT, INTRODUCING OUR JADE 342 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,759 "HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS" SET, THE IDEAL WAY TO TELL YOUR 343 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,828 GUESTS, "I'M RICH AND, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, I'M TOO DUMB FOR 344 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,896 CHECKERS." 345 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:19,832 NOW LET'S SMASH HIPPO BUTTS. 346 00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:22,167 $4,000. 347 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:27,005 WE'RE ALSO PROUD TO OFFER UP THIS HEAVY-DUTY YVES SAINT 348 00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:29,107 LAURENT SNOW TUBE, YOURS FOR A SONG AT $25,000. 349 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:35,113 WITH ITS CLEAN LINES AND BOLD COLORS, IT CALLS TO MIND YVES' 350 00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,983 FAMOUS LAST WORDS: "FASHIONS FADE, STYLE IS ETERNAL. 351 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,551 CHARGE WHATEVER YOU WANT FOR THE SNOW TUBE. 352 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:40,085 I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS. 353 00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:42,754 I'M DEAD." 354 00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:45,190 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 355 00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:47,960 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JAVIER BARDEM. 356 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,291 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THAT'S VERY NICE. 357 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:22,027 EVERY NIGHT. 358 00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:26,798 WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 359 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:30,135 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW 360 00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:31,937 FROM, "NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN," "SKYFALL," AND "DUNE." 361 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,806 HE NOW STARS AS DESI ARNAZ IN "BEING THE RICARDOS." 362 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:38,644 >> YOU'RE NOT TELLING THESE PEOPLE THAT I CHECKED THE WRONG 363 00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:39,444 BOX. 364 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,846 >> THIS IS A CRITICAL MOMENT, LUCY. 365 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,948 >> IF I'M GOING TO DIE-- >> YOU'RE NOT. 366 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,150 >> I WOULD RATHER DIE STANDING UP. 367 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:48,520 >> I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA-- >> I'M NOT AN IDIOT. 368 00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:49,588 I DIDN'T CHECK THE WRONG BOX. 369 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:50,756 >> YOU SAW THE HEADLINE. 370 00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:54,226 >> YOU CAN SEE THE HEADLINE FROM OUTER SPACE. 371 00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:56,428 HE RAISED ME SINCE I WAS AGE FOUR. 372 00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:57,663 HE CARED ABOUT THE LITTLE GUY. 373 00:19:57,729 --> 00:19:59,231 HE CARED ABOUT WORKERS' RIGHTS. 374 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:02,534 IT WAS A TRIBUTE TO HIM, AND TO SAY-- 375 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:05,404 >> GRANDPA FRED WAS WRONG! 376 00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:05,671 LUCY! 377 00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:06,872 YES! 378 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,740 HE DIDN'T TELL YOU THE PART WHERE THEY THROW YOUR FATHER IN 379 00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:11,743 PRISON FOR THE CRIME OF BEING THE MAYOR OF A CITY! 380 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:16,982 I WAS CHASED TO THIS COUNTRY, LUCY! 381 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,285 BELIEVE ME, YOU CHECKED THE WRONG BOX. 382 00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:25,424 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME, JAVIER BARDEM 383 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:25,624 ♪ ♪ ♪ 384 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:36,868 ( APPLAUSE ) >> YEAH! 385 00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:44,142 ( APPLAUSE ) >> YEAH! 386 00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:46,545 >> Stephen: YEAH. 387 00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:51,750 THAT'S NICE. 388 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,418 SO NICE TO MEET YOU. 389 00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:57,789 I INTERVIEWED YOU BRIEFLY LAST YEAR OVER THE INTERNET FOR 390 00:20:57,856 --> 00:21:00,792 "DUNE," FOR WARNER BROTHERS, BUT WE'VE NEVER ACTUALLY MET BEFORE. 391 00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:01,927 I'M A BIG FAN. 392 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,662 I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE. 393 00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:07,232 >> I'M A BIG FAN OF YOU, AN AMAZING PROFESSIONAL AND VERY, 394 00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:11,570 VERY COMEDIC TO TELL MANY OF THE TRUTHS THAT ARE NEEDED TO BE 395 00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:13,605 TOLD OUT THERE. 396 00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:14,706 SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH ( APPLAUSE ). 397 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,541 >> Stephen: THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU TO SAY, VERY NICE. 398 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:20,712 VRY KIND. 399 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:22,814 SO NOW YOU'RE PLAYING DESI ARNAZ. 400 00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:23,882 >> UH-HUH. 401 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,885 >> Stephen: IN THE NEW AARON SORKIN FILM, "BEING THE 402 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,086 RICARDOS." 403 00:21:28,153 --> 00:21:30,188 BEFORE WE TALK ABOUT TI JUST WANT TO REMIND EVERYBODY HERE IS 404 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:34,526 THAT WE HAVE NO CONCEPT TODAY OF HOW BIG THIS SHOW WAS. 405 00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:39,331 "I LOVE LUCY" HAD 60 MILLION PEOPLE WATCHING IT IN 1953. 406 00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:43,468 I THINK THERE WERE, LIKE, 65 MILLION TVs IN AMERICA BACK 407 00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:43,969 THEN. 408 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,203 IT WAS SO ENORMOUS. 409 00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:49,441 DID YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT "I LOVE LUCY" GROWING UP IN SPAIN? 410 00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:49,875 >> NOTHING. 411 00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:50,776 >> Stephen: WOW. 412 00:21:50,842 --> 00:21:54,946 >> WE BARELY HAD TVs THERE BACK IN THE 50s. 413 00:21:55,013 --> 00:22:00,218 ACTUALLY, IN THE 50s WE HAD FRANCO, WHICH IS A DICTATORSHIP. 414 00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:04,623 HE WAS A DICTATOR, AND I DON'T THINK MANY PEOPLE HAD TV SETS IN 415 00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:05,724 SPAIN. 416 00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:06,692 >> Stephen: DID THE GOVERNMENT CONTROL WHAT WAS ON TV? 417 00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:08,226 >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY, HE CONTROLLED EVERYTHING. 418 00:22:08,293 --> 00:22:10,062 HE CONTROLLED THE LIVES OF EVERYONE. 419 00:22:10,128 --> 00:22:17,169 AND EVERYONE WHO WAS AGAINST THE REGIME, WILL BE VERY HARSHLY 420 00:22:17,235 --> 00:22:18,070 PUNISHED. 421 00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:19,638 >> Stephen: AS YOU SAID, YOU'RE FROM SPAIN. 422 00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:20,672 ARNAZ IS CUBAN. 423 00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:21,840 >> YES. 424 00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:24,076 >> Stephen: NOW, I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH, AND I DON'T THINK I 425 00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:24,943 WOULD HEAR THE DIFFERENCE. 426 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,144 >> YES. 427 00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:28,680 >> Stephen: WHAT TO YOU IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SPANISH 428 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:30,549 ACCENT AND THE CUBAN SPANISH ACCENT? 429 00:22:30,615 --> 00:22:32,584 AND HOW DID YOU-- DID YOU ADJUST FOR THAT? 430 00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:37,289 >> YES, IT IS A SOFTER-- I MEAN, THE CUBAN PEOPLE HAS THE MUSIC 431 00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:39,057 IN THEIR D.N.A. 432 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:41,827 IT'S-- IT'S THEY ARE SOFTER. 433 00:22:41,893 --> 00:22:47,833 THEY HAVE-- I DON'T THINK SPANIARD, EUROPEAN SPANIARDS 434 00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:53,004 HAVE THAT HIGH OR THAT PRESENCE. 435 00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:54,005 I THINK. 436 00:22:54,072 --> 00:22:56,274 AND THE ACCENT IS SOFTER AND IT HAS MORE MUSIC. 437 00:22:56,341 --> 00:23:00,612 FOR EXAMPLE, THERE'S A LINE IN THE MOVIE WHERE I SAY, "WALK ME 438 00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:01,680 TO THE STAGE." 439 00:23:01,747 --> 00:23:04,583 THAT'S THE WAY I WOULD SAY, "WALK ME TO THE STAGE." 440 00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:08,220 IN CUBAN, HE WOULD SAY, "WALK ME TO THE STAGE! 441 00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:09,287 THAT'S MUSIC GOING ON! 442 00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:14,159 THAT'S MUSIC, WARWICK ME TO THE STAGE!" 443 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,995 AND THEIR MOUTHS ARE OPEN AND IT'S A WAY TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES 444 00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,163 WITH NO SHAME. 445 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,231 THEY REALLY OWN IT. 446 00:23:19,297 --> 00:23:21,266 THEY ARE REALLY CONFIDENT IN THEIR OWN BODY, WHICH IS 447 00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:24,803 SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH WE HAVE THAT -- 448 00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:26,538 >> Stephen: YOU SEEM CONFIDENT IN YOUR OWN BODY. 449 00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:28,740 >> I DON'T THINK SO. 450 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:32,978 >> Stephen: WHEN YOU DANCED OUT HERE, YOU SEEMED FAIRLY 451 00:23:33,044 --> 00:23:33,945 CONFIDENT. 452 00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:36,815 ( APPLAUSE ) DID YOU-- NOW, DID YOU ENJOY 453 00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:38,316 AARON SORKIN'S DIALOGUE? 454 00:23:38,383 --> 00:23:44,122 BECAUSE HE'S FAMOUS FOR HIS-- HIS PATTER IS SORT OF 455 00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:44,990 DISMISSIVE. 456 00:23:45,056 --> 00:23:46,625 THE BANTER, THE RHYTHM OF HIS DIALOGUE. 457 00:23:46,691 --> 00:23:48,727 IS HE ACTING? 458 00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:52,230 DOES HE SAY, NO, I SAID, BUT, BUT, BUT." 459 00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,900 DOES EVERY WORD HAVE TO BE EXACTLY THE WAY HE WANTS IT? 460 00:23:54,966 --> 00:23:57,903 >> YES, AND I WOULD DO THE SAME IF I HAD THAT TALENT. 461 00:23:57,969 --> 00:24:01,039 FOR ACTORS TO HAVE THAT DIALOGUE AND THOSE WORDS AND THOSE 462 00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:04,109 SITUATIONS AND THE IMAGES HE BEAUTIFULLY AND MASTERFULLY 463 00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:06,778 CREATES IN THE DIALOGUE IS GOLD FOR ANY ACTOR. 464 00:24:06,845 --> 00:24:10,448 AND YOU HAVE TO BE PRECISE. 465 00:24:10,515 --> 00:24:13,285 I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD REALLY MAKE MY WAY THROUGH IT 466 00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:15,654 BECAUSE I WAS THE ONLY FOREIGNER PLAYING A FOREIGNER. 467 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:16,788 AND THERE WERE PARTS I WOULD SAY, "I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD 468 00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:17,889 SAY THAT WORD. 469 00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:20,692 I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD EVER KNOW WHAT THE WORD MEANS. 470 00:24:20,759 --> 00:24:23,728 COULD WE CHANGE IT?" AND HE WOULD BE VERY OPEN. 471 00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:25,230 >> Stephen: HE RESPECTED YOUR PERSPECTIVE. 472 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,398 >> ABSOLUTELY. 473 00:24:26,464 --> 00:24:28,733 AND I WAS THE ENVY OF THE REST OF THE CAST, BECAUSE I COULD 474 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,902 MORE OR LESS -- >> Stephen: AARON, I DON'T 475 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:31,570 THINK SO. 476 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:33,705 >> "I DON'T THINK SO. 477 00:24:33,772 --> 00:24:34,840 WHAT'S THAT WORD? 478 00:24:34,906 --> 00:24:38,476 HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE THAT?" >> Stephen: YOU ACTUALLY GOT 479 00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:43,782 THE BLESSING OF DESI AND LUCILLE'S DAUGHTER, LUCIE ARNAZ. 480 00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:48,687 WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM HER, FROM THIS REALLY MOST FAMOUS 481 00:24:48,753 --> 00:24:49,454 ACTUAL TV COUPLE? 482 00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:50,622 >> MEMBERSHIP THINGS. 483 00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:56,228 SHE WAS SO GENEROUS AND SO HELPFUL GIVING NICOLE AND I, FOR 484 00:24:56,294 --> 00:25:00,732 EXAMPLE, TAPES OF THEIR PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS AT HOME THAT LUCY 485 00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:02,167 RECORDED WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE. 486 00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:06,338 THTHEY WOULD RECORD THEIR KIDS TALKING ABOUT DIFFERENT THINGS 487 00:25:06,404 --> 00:25:07,172 IN LIFE. 488 00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,674 AND IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, SO INTIMATE. 489 00:25:09,741 --> 00:25:14,946 SO TO HAVE THOSE RECORDINGS TO HEAR, IN MY CASE, DESI'S VOICE 490 00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:16,581 IN PRIVACY, IT WAS LIKE A TREASURE. 491 00:25:16,648 --> 00:25:23,755 BUT ALSO A VERY HUGE RESPONSIBLE TO-- WHEN YOU'RE GIVEN SUCH A 492 00:25:23,822 --> 00:25:27,025 PRESSURE OF INTIMACY, YOU REALLY NEED TO PUT ALL YOUR COMMITMENT 493 00:25:27,092 --> 00:25:29,961 IN TRYING TO MAKE IT-- TO OWN IT, TO EARN IT. 494 00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:32,364 >> Stephen: IS THERE A SPECIAL RESPONSIBILITY OR A SPECIAL 495 00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:36,268 PRESSURE FOR NOT JUST THAT LEVEL OF INTIMACY, BUT PLAYING ANY 496 00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:36,735 ACTUAL LIVING PERSON? 497 00:25:36,801 --> 00:25:38,103 >> I THINK SO. 498 00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:42,841 AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU REALLY ADMIRE AND LOVE AND THAT PERSON 499 00:25:42,908 --> 00:25:49,748 HAS CREATED... A PRECEDENT ON HISTORY, WHICH IS THE CASE OF 500 00:25:49,814 --> 00:25:50,949 DESI ARNAZ. 501 00:25:51,016 --> 00:25:53,685 AND I GUESS THE ONLY WAY TO DO IT AS AN ACTOR IS TO BECOME A 502 00:25:53,752 --> 00:25:57,789 VESSEL, TO EMPTY YOURSELF AND TRY TO MAKE THAT SPIRIT. 503 00:25:57,856 --> 00:25:59,758 BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN ENERGIES. 504 00:25:59,824 --> 00:26:00,959 I BELIEVE IN SPIRITS. 505 00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:07,933 AND YOU ARE KIND OF EVOKING THAT SPIRIT T THROUGH YOUR WORK. 506 00:26:07,999 --> 00:26:10,735 AND SOME DAY IT MIGHT HAPPEN THAT THAT SPIRIT COMES THROUGH 507 00:26:10,802 --> 00:26:11,603 YOU AND STARTS TO COMMUNICATE. 508 00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:13,738 I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD, AND IT IS WEIRD. 509 00:26:13,805 --> 00:26:15,106 >> Stephen: NO, NO, I LOVE IT. 510 00:26:15,173 --> 00:26:18,777 >> BUT THAT'S WHAT WE, THE ACTORS TRY TO DO WHEN WE ARE 511 00:26:18,843 --> 00:26:19,945 DOING REAL PEOPLE. 512 00:26:20,011 --> 00:26:23,682 EXCEPT YOU PLAY, FOR EXAMPLE, PABLO ESCOBAR, WHICH I DID. 513 00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:25,817 I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. 514 00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:29,187 I DIDN'T INVOKE HIM AT ALL. 515 00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:31,122 I SAID, "STAY WHERE YOU ARE. 516 00:26:31,189 --> 00:26:33,525 I'M GOING TO DO THIS FROM THE OUTSIDE." 517 00:26:33,591 --> 00:26:37,329 I DON'T WANT TO BE TOUCHED BY THAT. 518 00:26:37,395 --> 00:26:38,496 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 519 00:26:38,563 --> 00:26:41,232 STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE JAVIER BARDEM, 520 00:26:41,299 --> 00:26:41,766 EVERYBODY. 521 00:27:00,552 --> 00:27:01,653 >> Stephen: HEY,. 522 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,090 WE'RE BACK WITH THE STAR OF THE FILM "BEING THE RICARDOS," 523 00:27:05,156 --> 00:27:07,926 JAVIER BARDEM. 524 00:27:07,993 --> 00:27:10,862 ONE OF THE MAIN PLOT POINTS OF THIS-- I'M NOT GIVING ANYTHING 525 00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:13,431 AWAY HERE BECAUSE YOU FIND OUT RIGHT IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTE 526 00:27:13,498 --> 00:27:16,534 OF THE FILM-- LUCY IS ACCUSED OF BEING A COMMUNIST, BY WALTER 527 00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:19,104 WINCHLE, AND THIS IS ALL TAKING PLACE DURING THE HOUSE ON 528 00:27:19,170 --> 00:27:21,139 AMERICAN ACTIVITIES COMMITTEE. 529 00:27:21,206 --> 00:27:25,377 AND WAS THERE-- WAS THERE A SIMILAR THING, ANTICOMMUNIST 530 00:27:25,443 --> 00:27:28,513 SORT OF RED SCARE, RED HUNT IN SPAIN? 531 00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:29,481 >> OH, YEAH. 532 00:27:29,547 --> 00:27:31,349 >> Stephen: UNDER FRARVGO. 533 00:27:31,416 --> 00:27:32,417 >> OH, MAY. 534 00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:35,286 MY ONLY FAMILY WAS PERSECUTED BY THAT. 535 00:27:35,353 --> 00:27:37,088 >> Stephen: FOR BEING ACCUSED OF BEING SOCIALISTS? 536 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:41,459 >> AND ALSO BECAUSE MY UNCLE WAS A PERSON WHO BACK IN THE DAY, IN 537 00:27:41,526 --> 00:27:45,930 THE 40s, WAS ONE OF THE FOUNDERS OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY 538 00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,032 IN SPAIN. 539 00:27:47,098 --> 00:27:50,769 AND HE WOULD SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN JAIL FOR THAT. 540 00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:55,173 AND, ACTUALLY, HE COULD DIRECT A MOVIE WHILE BEING IN JAIL. 541 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,144 WHILE HE WAS IN JAIL HE FINISHED THE SHOOTING OF A MOVIE LIKE HE 542 00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:01,513 WAS DOING BACK IN THE DAY FROM JAIL. 543 00:28:01,579 --> 00:28:05,483 BACK IN THOSE TIMES, ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULD DO AGAINST THE 544 00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:11,156 REGIME, AS I SAID BEFORE, IT WOULD BE HARSHLY PUNISHED, LIKE 545 00:28:11,222 --> 00:28:12,257 WITH YOUR OWN LIFE. 546 00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:16,194 >> Stephen: YOU PLAY THIS FAMOUS COUPLE, BUT YOU ARE A 547 00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:18,296 FAMOUS COUPLE. 548 00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:26,071 YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE PENELOPE CRUZ. 549 00:28:26,137 --> 00:28:27,906 ( APPLAUSE ) >> WHICH DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 550 00:28:27,972 --> 00:28:29,441 >> Stephen: DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE? 551 00:28:29,507 --> 00:28:34,112 >> I SEE THE PICTURE AND I THINK WHAT IS THIS BEAUTIFUL CREATURE 552 00:28:34,179 --> 00:28:36,448 ON EARTH DOING WITH THAT GUY? 553 00:28:36,514 --> 00:28:38,116 BUT -- >> Stephen: I CAN THINK OF A 554 00:28:38,183 --> 00:28:38,917 FEW REASONS. 555 00:28:38,983 --> 00:28:39,451 >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 556 00:28:39,517 --> 00:28:40,652 YOU'RE VERY KIND. 557 00:28:40,718 --> 00:28:45,723 >> Stephen: TE THING IS THAT YOU ARE PLAYING LUCY AND DESI ON 558 00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:46,958 CAMERA, IN THE SHOW. 559 00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:49,394 YOU'RE SEEING THE SHOW CREATES AND THE SCENES, AND YOU SEE YOUR 560 00:28:49,461 --> 00:28:50,395 LIFE OFF STAGE. 561 00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:53,098 YOU AND PENELOPE HAVE PERFORMED TOGETHER. 562 00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:55,667 YOU HAVE A LIFE ON STAGE AND OFF STAGE TOGETHER. 563 00:28:55,733 --> 00:28:56,101 IS THAT HARD? 564 00:28:56,167 --> 00:28:57,268 >> IT IS WEIRD. 565 00:28:57,335 --> 00:29:01,573 IT IS WEIRD, BECAUSE, FOR EXAMPLE, WE'RE DOING THIS MOVIE 566 00:29:01,639 --> 00:29:08,746 CALLED "LOVING PABLO" BASED ON THE MEM ROAR OF PABLO'S LOVER. 567 00:29:08,813 --> 00:29:11,282 AND THERE WERE A COUPLE OF SCENES THAT WERE VERY, VERY, 568 00:29:11,349 --> 00:29:13,118 VERY DRAMATIC AND VERY HARD. 569 00:29:13,184 --> 00:29:18,356 AND WHEN WE FINISHED TO GO BACK TO BE DAD AND MOM FOR OUR KIDS, 570 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:19,991 IT WAS, LIKE, WEIRD. 571 00:29:20,058 --> 00:29:21,960 >> Stephen: WELL, ESPECIALLY, A TROUBLED RELATIONSHIP. 572 00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:23,194 >> ABSOLUTELY. 573 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:25,630 AND THERE WAS A DAY WHERE I WAS ACTUALLY SLEEPING ON THE SOFA. 574 00:29:25,697 --> 00:29:28,666 SHE SAID, "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU OR YOUR MUSTACHE. 575 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:30,435 YOU SLEEP OUT THERE." 576 00:29:30,502 --> 00:29:32,470 >> Stephen: BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T SEE PAST-- 577 00:29:32,537 --> 00:29:34,606 >> I WAS PLAYING THE PART. 578 00:29:34,672 --> 00:29:35,874 SO YOU CAN DO THAT. 579 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:39,944 YOU CAN ENJOY THAT, BUT NOT-- AS LONG AS YOU DON'T DO IT TOO 580 00:29:40,011 --> 00:29:41,045 OFTEN. 581 00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:42,547 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE ONE MORE BREAK, BUT STICK 582 00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:43,581 AROUND. 583 00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:44,315 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JAVIER BARDEM, EVERYBODY. 584 00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:12,277 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 585 00:30:12,343 --> 00:30:18,950 WE'RE BACK WITH THE STAR OF THE FILM "BEING THE RICARDOS," 586 00:30:19,017 --> 00:30:20,785 JAVIER BARDEM. 587 00:30:20,852 --> 00:30:23,955 YOU'RE STARRING IN ANOTHER FILM RIGHT NOW CALLED "THE GOOD 588 00:30:24,022 --> 00:30:24,255 BOSS." 589 00:30:24,322 --> 00:30:25,423 >> YES. 590 00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:28,159 >> Stephen: AND ON MONDAY I FOUND OUT THAT IT RECEIVED 20 591 00:30:28,226 --> 00:30:34,132 NOMINATIONS FOR THE GOYA AWARD, WHICH IS SPAIN'S-- OSCARS 592 00:30:34,199 --> 00:30:34,933 ESSENTIALLY. 593 00:30:34,999 --> 00:30:37,502 >> WE BROKE-- WE BROKE EVERY RECORD. 594 00:30:37,569 --> 00:30:43,441 WE BROKE EVERY RECORD, AND WE RECEIVED IT WITH A LOT OF-- IN A 595 00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:44,309 VERY HUMBLE WAY. 596 00:30:44,375 --> 00:30:45,977 AND WE ARE ABSOLUTELY OVERWHELMED. 597 00:30:46,044 --> 00:30:49,247 BUT IT'S TRUE, IT'S TRUE, IT'S NOT EASY TO MAKE A GOOD MOVIE. 598 00:30:49,314 --> 00:30:52,684 WHEN IT HAPPENS THAT THE CRITICS AND THE REVIEWS AND THE AUDIENCE 599 00:30:52,750 --> 00:30:55,286 IS REALLY UNIFIED ON REALLY SUPPORTING AND ACCOMPANYING THE 600 00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:59,591 JOURNEY OF THAT MOVIE BECAUSE THEY LOVE IT, IT'S-- IT'S A 601 00:30:59,657 --> 00:31:00,658 GREAT REWARD. 602 00:31:00,725 --> 00:31:02,961 >> Stephen: IT OPENED IN SPAIN, A LITTLE OVER A MONTH 603 00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:03,328 AGO. 604 00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:04,162 >> YES, YES. 605 00:31:04,229 --> 00:31:05,430 >> Stephen: HASN'T COME OUT HERE YET. 606 00:31:05,496 --> 00:31:06,631 WHAT-- WHAT IS IT ABOUT? 607 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:10,902 >> WELL, IT'S ABOUT BASICALLY IN A FEW LINES, IT'S ABOUT THE 608 00:31:10,969 --> 00:31:13,204 ABUSE OF POWER ON THE WORKING PLACE. 609 00:31:13,271 --> 00:31:17,642 AND IT'S THROUGH A VERY DARK... 610 00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:18,977 COMEDY WAY. 611 00:31:19,043 --> 00:31:22,981 BUT, ALSO, THERE ARE A LOT OF PUNCHES, BECAUSE IT'S A SOCIAL 612 00:31:23,047 --> 00:31:27,051 PORTRAIT OF WHAT A WORKING PLACE IS AND THE ABUSE OF POWER THAT 613 00:31:27,118 --> 00:31:28,786 YOU CAN DO WITH THAT. 614 00:31:28,853 --> 00:31:30,788 AND THERE ARE MANY EXAMPLES IN THE WORLD. 615 00:31:30,855 --> 00:31:35,193 YOU CAN START FROM HARVEY WEINSTEIN, BEING ONE OF THE TOP 616 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:36,327 EXAMPLES. 617 00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:38,963 AND ALSO PEOPLE HAVE LITTLE BUSINESSES, BUT THEY ARE NOT 618 00:31:39,030 --> 00:31:44,068 VERY RESPECTFUL IN RESPECTING THE BOUNDARIES WITH THEIR FELLOW 619 00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:45,236 WORKERS. 620 00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:49,407 >> Stephen: HAS THERE BEEN A SUBSTANTIAL VERSION OF WHAT WE 621 00:31:49,474 --> 00:31:53,211 IN THE UNITED STATES CALL THE "ME, TOO" MOVEMENT IN SPAIN. 622 00:31:53,278 --> 00:31:58,416 >> I THINK THE "ME TOO" MOVEMENT HAS SPREAD OVER THE WORLD. 623 00:31:58,483 --> 00:31:59,584 BASICALLY, IT'S THE SAME. 624 00:31:59,651 --> 00:32:02,353 >>Stephen: I CAN'T LET YOU GO, LEGALLY, I CAN'T LET YOU GO 625 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:06,090 WITHOUT ASKING ABOUT "DUNE." 626 00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:06,658 YOU PLAY STILGAR. 627 00:32:06,724 --> 00:32:07,825 AND I HAVE A PHOTO HERE. 628 00:32:07,892 --> 00:32:08,760 >> LOOK AT THAT. 629 00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:10,528 >> Stephen: I KEEP BACK HERE ALL THE TIME. 630 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:11,729 NOT JUST WHEN YOU'RE HERE. 631 00:32:11,796 --> 00:32:14,999 I THINK IT'S A PERFECT ADAPTATION. 632 00:32:15,066 --> 00:32:17,101 IT'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING, MOVING. 633 00:32:17,168 --> 00:32:18,369 YOU'RE A PERFECT STILGAR. 634 00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:18,970 >> THANK YOU. 635 00:32:19,037 --> 00:32:20,772 COMING FROM YOU! 636 00:32:20,838 --> 00:32:23,775 YOU'RE SUCH A AGREEMENT FAN. 637 00:32:23,841 --> 00:32:24,842 WOW, WOW ( APPLAUSE ). 638 00:32:24,909 --> 00:32:26,277 >> Stephen: VERY MUCH HIS OWN MAN. 639 00:32:26,344 --> 00:32:28,079 YOU KNOW, MYSTERIOUS, HONORABLE. 640 00:32:28,146 --> 00:32:32,083 NOW, I DID NOT KNOW, YOU WERE ALREADY FRIENDS-- BUT OF COURSE 641 00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:35,853 IT MAKES SENSE-- YOU WERE ALREADY FRIEND WITH JOSH BROLIN 642 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,056 FROM "OLD COUNTRY WITH OLD MEN." 643 00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:41,025 BUT YOU HAD NEVER DONE A SCENE TOGETHER UNTIL THIS. 644 00:32:41,092 --> 00:32:42,627 >> AND WE DON'T SHARE THE SCENE. 645 00:32:42,694 --> 00:32:43,895 >> Stephen: HE YELLS AT YOU. 646 00:32:43,961 --> 00:32:46,964 >> HE YELLS AT ME AND I SPIT ON THE TABLE AND LOOK AT HIM LIKE, 647 00:32:47,031 --> 00:32:48,232 "SHUT UP." 648 00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:53,071 BUT WHEN WE HEARD ABOUT THE NEWS OF BEING IN THE SEQUEL HAPPENING 649 00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:54,305 -- >> Stephen: JUST A FEW WEEKS 650 00:32:54,372 --> 00:32:55,707 AGO IT GOT GREEN LIGHTED. 651 00:32:55,773 --> 00:32:56,674 >> WHICH IS GREAT NEWS. 652 00:32:56,741 --> 00:32:57,909 I GOT A TEXT. 653 00:32:57,975 --> 00:33:01,846 THE FIRST TEXT I GOT WAS FROM JOSH BROLIN SAYING, "SEE YOU IN 654 00:33:01,913 --> 00:33:03,314 THE DESERT ( BLEEP )." 655 00:33:03,381 --> 00:33:04,615 I SAID, ALL RIGHT! 656 00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:07,352 IN THE SECOND ONE, HOPEFULLY, AS YOU KNOW -- 657 00:33:07,418 --> 00:33:10,254 >> Stephen: I HAVE READ THE BOOK. 658 00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:13,658 AND SPOILERS, THERE'S A LOT MORE STILGAR-- 659 00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:15,526 >> I TO SAY SOMETHING TO YOU. 660 00:33:15,593 --> 00:33:18,830 I PERSONALLY INVITE YOU TO COME TO THE SET NEXT SUMMER TO SEE 661 00:33:18,896 --> 00:33:22,433 THE SHOOTING OF COULD DUE, WHENEVER YOU CAN. 662 00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:23,668 >> Stephen: YOU'RE A WITNESS. 663 00:33:23,735 --> 00:33:24,135 ( APPLAUSE ). 664 00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:26,204 >> YES, I MEAN IT. 665 00:33:26,270 --> 00:33:27,405 WHENEVER YOU CAN. 666 00:33:27,472 --> 00:33:32,543 IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN BOUD PEPT OR JORDAN, SO MANY PLACES. 667 00:33:32,610 --> 00:33:33,845 I DON'T KNOW FOR REAL. 668 00:33:33,911 --> 00:33:34,846 BUT YOU HAVE TO COME. 669 00:33:34,912 --> 00:33:37,315 I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE THERE. 670 00:33:37,382 --> 00:33:41,119 AND YOU WEAR ONE OF THOSE STILL SUITS. 671 00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:42,086 >> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND. 672 00:33:42,153 --> 00:33:43,488 WHAT ARE THE STILL SUITS LIKE. 673 00:33:43,554 --> 00:33:46,457 HOW MUCH CHAFE REGULAR WE TALKING ABOUT HERE? 674 00:33:46,524 --> 00:33:46,991 >> THEY ARE COMFORTABLE. 675 00:33:47,058 --> 00:33:47,658 >> Stephen: REALLY. 676 00:33:47,725 --> 00:33:49,160 >> THEY DO A GREAT JOB. 677 00:33:49,227 --> 00:33:51,529 >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT WEARING A HEFTY BAG IN THE DESERT? 678 00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:53,064 >> NO, NOT REALLY. 679 00:33:53,131 --> 00:33:55,767 THEY ARE NOT AS HEAVY AS IT LOOKS. 680 00:33:55,833 --> 00:33:56,868 THEY'RE BEAUTIFULLY MADE. 681 00:33:56,934 --> 00:34:01,806 >> Stephen: WELL, DID YOU-- DID YOU COME ACROSS "DUNE" 682 00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:02,440 GROWING UP IN SPAIN? 683 00:34:02,507 --> 00:34:07,879 >> I READ IT WHEN I WAS 52. 684 00:34:07,945 --> 00:34:09,447 IREAD IT WHEN I WAS 18. 685 00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:11,082 >> Stephen: YOU READ IT IN SPANISH. 686 00:34:11,149 --> 00:34:11,949 >> YES. 687 00:34:12,016 --> 00:34:12,984 >> Stephen: IN SPANISH. 688 00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:14,886 BUT IT WAS-- IT WAS LIKE IF I READ IT IN RUSSIAN. 689 00:34:14,952 --> 00:34:17,622 I MEAN, I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD. 690 00:34:17,688 --> 00:34:19,524 >> Stephen: THERE'S A LOT GOING ON. 691 00:34:19,590 --> 00:34:25,630 I'M JUST CURIOUS, HOW DO YOU SAY "FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER," IN 692 00:34:25,696 --> 00:34:30,535 EPICSPANISH? 693 00:34:30,601 --> 00:34:37,074 >> FEAR IS THE MOTHER KILLER. 694 00:34:37,141 --> 00:34:42,146 THAT COULD BE A VERY KIND OF-- I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A GOOD 695 00:34:42,213 --> 00:34:42,547 TRANSLATION. 696 00:34:42,613 --> 00:34:43,080 LET ME SEE... 697 00:34:43,147 --> 00:34:43,981 I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH. 698 00:34:44,048 --> 00:34:50,221 >> Stephen: HOW WOULD DESI ARNAZ SAY IT? 699 00:34:50,288 --> 00:34:55,226 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 700 00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:58,763 >> Stephen: I JUST-- ONE THING OCCURRED TO ME, I MEANT TO ASK 701 00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:03,768 YOU EARLIER, IS THAT YOU ARE A CONVINCING MUSICIAN AS DESI 702 00:35:03,835 --> 00:35:04,068 ARNAZ. 703 00:35:04,135 --> 00:35:04,802 >> YES. 704 00:35:04,869 --> 00:35:06,604 >> Stephen: ARE YOU A MUSICIAN? 705 00:35:06,671 --> 00:35:09,307 BECAUSE YOU PLAY THE GUITAR BEAUTIFULLY. 706 00:35:09,373 --> 00:35:09,841 YOU SING BEAUTIFULLY. 707 00:35:09,907 --> 00:35:11,742 >> THAT'S MOVIE MAGIC. 708 00:35:11,809 --> 00:35:12,276 THAT'S MOVIE MAGIC. 709 00:35:12,343 --> 00:35:14,111 I DON'T DO GUITAR. 710 00:35:14,178 --> 00:35:15,146 >> Stephen: YOU'RE FAKING IT? 711 00:35:15,213 --> 00:35:16,948 >> WITH THESE FINGERS. 712 00:35:17,014 --> 00:35:17,748 LOOK AT THIS. 713 00:35:17,815 --> 00:35:18,816 BUT, NO, I PLAY DRUMS. 714 00:35:18,883 --> 00:35:22,587 AND I PLAY CONGOS. 715 00:35:22,653 --> 00:35:23,120 >> Stephen: THAT'S REAL. 716 00:35:23,187 --> 00:35:24,021 >> THAT'S WHAT I LIKE. 717 00:35:24,088 --> 00:35:26,224 I LIKE THE RHYTHM. 718 00:35:26,290 --> 00:35:29,994 BUT WHEN THEY WERE PLAYING BABALOO. 719 00:35:30,061 --> 00:35:33,130 THAT'S WHEN I REALLY ENJOY IT. 720 00:35:33,197 --> 00:35:37,201 THE CONGO WAS FULL OF BLOOD BECAUSE I WAS TOO HARD ON IT. 721 00:35:37,268 --> 00:35:39,837 >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE-- 722 00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:41,639 >> LOOK AT ME. 723 00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:42,173 LIKE... 724 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:42,640 >> WOW! 725 00:35:42,707 --> 00:35:43,708 >> THAT'S NORMAL. 726 00:35:43,774 --> 00:35:44,175 THAT'S NORMAL. 727 00:35:44,242 --> 00:35:45,209 >> THAT'S NORMAL? 728 00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:46,010 >> YES. 729 00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:50,214 YOU CAN GO PLAY NOW, IF YOU WANT TO. 730 00:35:50,281 --> 00:35:54,218 ( APPLAUSE ) >> WELL, LISTEN, IF YOU SAY SO. 731 00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:58,823 >> Stephen: PERHAPS AS WE GO OUT, PERHAPS AS WE GO OUT? 732 00:35:58,890 --> 00:36:00,791 "BEING THE RICARDOS" IS IN THEATERS DECEMBER 10. 733 00:36:00,858 --> 00:36:06,163 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY GANG OF YOUTHS. 734 00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:19,010 >> Stephen: PERFORMING "THE ANGEL OF 8TH AVENUE" 735 00:36:19,076 --> 00:36:22,413 FROM THEIR FORTHCOMING ALBUM, "ANGEL IN REALTIME," 736 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:27,251 GANG OF YOUTHS ♪ ♪ ♪ 737 00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:40,398 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 738 00:36:40,464 --> 00:36:46,404 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 739 00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:52,410 SO WE GOT STRAIGHT TO THE HEART ♪ AND I WAS A COWARD AND WORSE 740 00:36:52,476 --> 00:36:57,014 TO MY SHAME I FELL HARD UPON THE ♪ WEIGHTLESS WEEKS BUT WASTED 741 00:36:57,081 --> 00:37:01,285 EVERY DAY ¡TIL YOU EMERGED IN ♪ THE PARK LIKE SOME PATRON OF 742 00:37:01,352 --> 00:37:07,325 WASHINGTON SQUARE FOR THE FIRST ♪ TIME IN A LONG TIME INSIDE 743 00:37:07,391 --> 00:37:10,428 EVERYTHING STOOD CLEAR SO WENT ♪ OUT TO FIND ME A JOB BUT I 744 00:37:10,494 --> 00:37:14,699 DIDN'T THINK I WOULD HOLD THIS ♪ ONE DOWN IT GIVES THE SAME OLD 745 00:37:14,765 --> 00:37:18,603 SINKING FEELING OF ♪ HAMMERS IN MY BOWELS BUT YOU 746 00:37:18,669 --> 00:37:24,241 ARE GOOD TO ME STILL AND WHEN MY ♪ OLD MAN WAS NEAR TO THE END 747 00:37:24,308 --> 00:37:27,645 YOU LOVED HIS BROKEN BODY IN TH? 748 00:37:27,712 --> 00:37:32,250 ♪ SAME WAY THAT I DID I WANNA LAY ME DOWN AND BE LOVER 749 00:37:32,316 --> 00:37:39,657 ♪ OF THE YEAR IN THIS STRANGE NEW TOWN THIS STRANGE HEMISPHERE 750 00:37:39,724 --> 00:37:44,695 ♪ GOD, IT WAS STATE OF THE ART YOU CALLED EACH OF MY SORROWS BY 751 00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:48,265 ♪ NAME AND A TIDE OF TENDER MERCIES SHOOK MY BODY FROM THE 752 00:37:48,332 --> 00:37:56,240 ♪ GRAVE AND IN THE FESTIVAL YEARS OF OUR MAKESHIFT PARADE IN 753 00:37:56,307 --> 00:38:02,813 ♪ PERPETUAL FALL AND IMMEASURABLE RAIN I WANNA SEE 754 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:07,818 ♪ THIS ONE OUT AND I WANNA JOIN THE IMPOSSIBLE SWING AND FALL 755 00:38:07,885 --> 00:38:12,256 ♪ HARD BESIDE YOU SCREAMING AT THE BOWELS OF EVERYTHING AND IN 756 00:38:12,323 --> 00:38:21,098 ♪ THE ISLINGTON MORN YOU'RE THE ANGEL OF 8TH AND WHAT'S MORE, 757 00:38:21,165 --> 00:38:22,299 ♪ THE DAMN GREATEST THING THAT LANEY EVER MADE 758 00:38:22,366 --> 00:38:27,638 ♪ I WANNA LAY ME DOWN AND BE LOVER OF THE YEAR AND IN THIS 759 00:38:27,705 --> 00:38:36,247 ♪ STRANGE NEW TOWN THIS STRANGE HEMISPHERE YOU PERSUADE ME NOW 760 00:38:36,313 --> 00:38:40,951 ♪ TO LOOK CLOSER IN THE MIRROR AND I WANNA LAY ME DOWN FOR 761 00:38:41,018 --> 00:38:48,259 ♪ YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS 762 00:38:48,325 --> 00:38:58,302 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW 763 00:38:58,369 --> 00:39:07,011 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW 764 00:39:07,078 --> 00:39:09,647 ♪ AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW 765 00:39:09,714 --> 00:39:15,653 ♪ AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW 766 00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:21,659 ♪ THERE IS HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, 767 00:39:21,726 --> 00:39:27,631 ♪ THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW THERE 768 00:39:27,698 --> 00:39:32,269 ♪ IS HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, 769 00:39:32,336 --> 00:39:38,776 ♪ THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW AH, 770 00:39:38,843 --> 00:39:43,013 ♪ THERE'S HEAVEN IN YOU NOW THERE IS HEAVEN IN YOU 771 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:53,057 ♪ NOW NOW, NOW ♪ ♪ ♪ 772 00:39:53,124 --> 00:39:58,062 ♪ NOW NOW, NOW ♪ ♪ ♪ 773 00:39:58,129 --> 00:40:00,064 >> Stephen: GANG OF YOUTHS, EVERYBODY GOODNIGHT THAT'S IT 774 00:40:00,131 --> 00:40:01,232 FOR THE LATE SHOW. 775 00:40:01,298 --> 00:40:03,634 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE MAHERSHALA ALI AND 776 00:40:03,701 --> 00:40:06,203 AUTHOR JASON REYNOLDS. 777 00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:07,138 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 778 00:40:07,204 --> 00:40:07,671 GOODNIGHT.