1 00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:05,772 >> PAUL GOSAR, THE REPUBLICAN FROM ARIZONA, HAS BEEN CENSURED. 2 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,376 THE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN IS FACING OFFICIAL CONDEMNATION AFTER HE 3 00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:13,380 POSTED A PHOTOSHOPPED ANIME VIDEO THAT SHOWED HIM KILLING 4 00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:16,516 DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSWOMAN ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ AND 5 00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:19,519 ATTACKING PRESIDENT BIDEN. 6 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:20,353 >> YOU'RE WATCHING C-SPANIME. 7 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,756 SOMEHOW, WE'VE EVEN MADE THIS BORING. 8 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:30,530 UP NEXT, THE ANIME CENSURE VOTE OF PAUL GOSAR. 9 00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,198 >> OOOOH-AAAAW! 10 00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:44,177 >> OOOOH-AAAAW! 11 00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:56,189 >> OOOOH-AAAAW! 12 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:08,168 >> COMING UP NEXT, STEVE BANNON TURNS HIMSELF IN. 13 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,235 ( SNORTING ) >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE 14 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,409 SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 15 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:21,514 TONIGHT: AND THE SUPER STARS OF W.W.E. 16 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:26,186 ANSWER JUST ONE QUESTION. 17 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,154 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: ADAM DRIVER 18 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:31,391 AND AMERICA FERRERA FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY 19 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:34,227 HUMAN. 20 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:44,137 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 21 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,206 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 22 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:51,544 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 23 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,879 >> Stephen: HEY! 24 00:01:52,946 --> 00:02:04,190 MAN ALIVE! 25 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,593 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU. 26 00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:14,100 >> Jon: YES, INDEED! 27 00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:16,135 >> Stephen: WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." 28 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:19,005 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 29 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:23,877 FOLKS, I KNOW YOU TURN TO THIS SHOW FOR ONE THING AND ONE THING 30 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:24,711 ONLY AND THAT IS SPORTS NEWS! 31 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:29,983 WE GOT ALL THE HOTTEST SHAPES OF BALLS. 32 00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:31,351 I'M TALKIN' ABOUT THE FASTEST, TALLEST, OR THICKEST PEOPLE, ALL 33 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:34,187 OF THEEM RUNNING THEIR DUNKS STRAIGHT TO TROPHY TOWN! 34 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,823 SO LET'S GET TO THE HIGHLIGHT REEL. 35 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:40,226 THE STAPLES CENTER, HOME OF THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS, THE 36 00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,529 CLIPPERS, AND THE KINGS, IS CHANGING ITS NAME TO CRYPTO.COM 37 00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:42,829 ARENA. 38 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:46,165 CRYPTO! 39 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,234 THE MOST CONFUSING THING A VENUE HAS BEEN NAMED SINCE HOUSTON'S 40 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:51,271 "THE PLOT OF INCEPTION" STADIUM. 41 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:55,041 ( LAUGHTER ) GENERATIONS OF FANS HAVE GROWN 42 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,142 UP WITH THE STAPLES CENTER. 43 00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:58,177 FOR MY YOUNGER VIEWERS, THAT NAME REFERS TO THE STAPLES 44 00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:02,882 OFFICE SUPPLY COMPANY. 45 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,118 AN OFFICE IS SOMETHING YOU USED TO GO TO FOR MEETINGS, WHICH ARE 46 00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:09,689 LIKE VERY BORING IN-PERSON EMAILS. 47 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,257 OH, EMAILS ARE LONG TEXTS WITH MORE WORDS. 48 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:15,929 AND WORDS ARE FACELESS EMOJIIS THAT REMIND YOU YOU'RE 49 00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:17,764 A RELIC OF THE PAST AND THE FUTURE NO LONGER BELONGS TO YOU. 50 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,166 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 51 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:21,668 GO, CRYPTOS! 52 00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:24,137 NOW, THE STAPLES CENTER HAD SO MANY GREAT SPORT MEMORIES: KOBE 53 00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:27,574 BRYANT'S 81-POINT GAME, THE L.A. KINGS' STANLEY CUP VICTORY, 54 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:32,145 LOGAN PAUL GETTING PUNCHED IN THE HEAD. 55 00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:38,251 ( APPLAUSE ) NOW, THE BIGWIGS OVER AT 56 00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:45,792 CRYPTO.COM ARENA SHELLED OUT SOME LONG DUCKETTS FOR THIS ONE. 57 00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:47,026 THEY PAID MORE THAN $700 MILLION FOR THE NAMING RIGHTS, WHICH I 58 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:57,804 BELIEVE CONVERTS TO FIVE BITCOIN. 59 00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,305 NOPE, SORRY, 50,000-- NO, IT'S CHANGED AGAIN-- HALF A 60 00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:00,173 BITCOIN AND THREE BAGS OF FLOUR. 61 00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:01,608 IT'S A FAIRLY VOLATILE CURRENCY. 62 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:05,912 NOW, HERE'S THE THING THERE'S MORE VACCINE NEWS, AND 63 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,147 IT'S ABOUT MORE VACCINE. 64 00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:10,183 THE F.D.A. PLANS TO AUTHORIZE PFIZER BOOSTERS FOR ALL ADULTS 65 00:04:10,249 --> 00:04:11,784 THIS WEEK. 66 00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,553 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I AGREE. 67 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,455 THAT'S GREAT. 68 00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:16,089 QUIET YOUR THIRD. 69 00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,658 THIRD TIME'S A CHARM, RIGHT. 70 00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:20,193 THAT'S GREAT, BECAUSE MANY AMERICANS ARE EAGER FOR 71 00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:23,663 ADDITIONAL PROTECTION AHEAD OF HOLIDAY GATHERINGS. 72 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:27,667 YOU NEED EXTRA PROTECTION FOR THE HOLIDAYS, ESPECIALLY FOR 73 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:28,735 YOUR FEELINGS. 74 00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,504 THERE IS NO VACCINE FOR THAT MOMENT THE FRIDAY AFTER 75 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,640 THANKSGIVING, WHEN THE PARTY BUS SHOWS UP TO TAKE YOUR YOUNGER 76 00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:34,907 BROTHER OUT WITH HIS HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS, AND YOU SPEND THE NIGHT 77 00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:40,146 WATCHING "MANIFEST" WITH GRANDMA. 78 00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:43,349 ( LAUGHTER ) HERE IN NEW YORK CITY, HEALTH 79 00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:44,617 PROVIDERS HAVE BEEN TOLD TO GIVE BOOSTER SHOTS TO ALL ADULTS WHO 80 00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,185 WANT THEM. 81 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:50,089 ANY CHANCE WE CAN EXPAND THAT TO ADULTS WHO DON'T WANT THEM 82 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:58,197 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BECAUSE THEY'RE THE PROBLEM. 83 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:03,136 JUST DEPUTIZE THE TIMES SQUARE ELMOS TO JAB ANYONE WHO COMES 84 00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:04,203 WITHIN TICKLING DISTANCE. 85 00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:08,608 ( AS ELMO ) "ELMO WELCOMES YOU TO NEW YORK! 86 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:16,149 GUNH!" TAKE YOUR VACCINE! 87 00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:20,153 SINCE THE PASSING OF HIS LANDMARK INFRASTRUCTURE PLAN, 88 00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:23,723 BIDEN'S BEEN TAKING A VICTORY LAP. 89 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:24,891 LITERALLY. 90 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,260 HERE HE IS IN MICHIGAN, TESTING OUT A NEW ELECTRIC HUMMER. 91 00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:32,165 ( TIRES SCREECHING ) >> ANYBODY WANT TO JUMP IN THE 92 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:36,169 BACK? 93 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:37,870 ON THE ROOF? 94 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,939 >> YOU LOOK GOOD, MR. PRESIDENT. 95 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:40,940 >> THIS SUCKER'S SOMETHING ELSE! 96 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:50,850 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 97 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,151 >> Stephen: (AS BIDEN) "YOU WANNA HOP IN THE BACK? 98 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:55,188 ON THE ROOF? 99 00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:56,456 YOU CALL SHOTGUN? 100 00:05:56,522 --> 00:06:00,159 IT'S LIKE MY MOM ALWAYS SAID TO ME: SHE SAID, 'JOEY, MY RULE IS 101 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:05,665 ASS, GAS, OR GRASS... NO-ONE RIDES FOR FREE.' 102 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,133 SHE WAS A LONG-HAUL TRUCKER, USED TO DOWN POPPERS LIKE THEY 103 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,134 WERE TIC TACS. 104 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,203 GET IN, LOSER. 105 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:14,807 WE'RE SAVING THE PLANET!" NOW, HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE 106 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,008 CELL-- OOPS. 107 00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:20,146 IT'S VERY HARD TO DO THE REST OF THE MONOLOGUE WITH THESE ON. 108 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,547 NOW, HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE CELEBRATING THE BENEFITS OF THE 109 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:22,782 NEW PLAN. 110 00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:26,986 TAKE ALABAMA REPRESENTATIVE AND SALESMAN AT THE MEDICAL SUPPLY 111 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:31,424 STORE WHO'S HERE IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, GARY PALMER. 112 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:34,227 PALMER RECENTLY TWEETED TO APPLAUD FUNDING FOR A NEW 113 00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:36,162 HIGHWAY IN HIS DISTRICT: "COMPLETION OF BIRMINGHAM'S 114 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,632 NORTHERN BELTLINE HAS BEEN A PRIORITY OF MINE SINCE I WAS 115 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,734 ELECTED TO CONGRESS, AND NEW FUNDING FOR THE PROJECT HAS NOW 116 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,069 PASSED." 117 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,270 ONE SMALL PROBLEM: PALMER VOTED AGAINST THE 118 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:46,205 PACKAGE. 119 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:48,141 ( LAUGHTER ) YOU CAN'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THE 120 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:50,710 THING YOU OPPOSED. 121 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:51,878 THERE'S A REASON JAMIE SPEARS WAS NOT WELCOME AT THE "FREE 122 00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,113 BRITNEY" RALLY. 123 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,482 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 124 00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,217 IT'S NOT JUST... 125 00:06:58,284 --> 00:06:59,919 ( APPLAUSE ) TRUE STORY. 126 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:00,486 NOT INVITED. 127 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:01,687 >> Jon: HE WASN'T THERE. 128 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,956 >> Stephen: WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE. 129 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,324 WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE! 130 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:06,826 IT'S NOT JUST THAT PALMER VOTED AGAINST THE BILL. 131 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:09,762 HE'S ALSO A MEMBER OF THE CONSERVATIVE HOUSE FREEDOM 132 00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:13,533 CAUCUS, MEMBERS OF WHICH ARE SEEKING TO PUNISH THEIR 13 133 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,902 REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUES WHO JOINED DEMOCRATS IN VOTING FOR THE 134 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,136 INFRASTRUCTURE BILL. 135 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,338 SO YOU FINALLY GOT THE THING YOU WNTED, AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO 136 00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:22,208 PUNISH THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IT TO YOU? 137 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:26,746 THAT'S LIKE A KID ON CHRISTMAS SAYING, "YAY, A BIKE! 138 00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:30,149 I'M SO HAPPY! 139 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:34,220 OKAY, SANTA, NOW IT'S PAYBACK TIME! 140 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:40,159 GUH! 141 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:43,563 SPEAKING OF LYING BLOWHARDS, FORMER PRESIDENT BUTTERNUT 142 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,797 BERLUSCONI. 143 00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:50,970 THANKS TO JONATHAN KARL'S NEW BOOK, WE'RE LEARNING NEW DETAILS 144 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,271 ABOUT THE RUN-UP TO JANUARY 6, ESPECIALLY THE BEHAVIOR OF 145 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:56,142 FORMER FIRST SON-IN-LAW AND NON-PLAYER CHARACTER IN A VIDEO 146 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,410 GAME ABOUT WALL STREET, JARED KUSHNER. 147 00:07:57,476 --> 00:08:00,580 WHEN MIKE PENCE'S AIDE MARC SHORT CALLED KUSHNER DIRECTLY TO 148 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,116 ASK HIM TO MAYBE HELP KEEP THE VICE PRESIDENT FROM GETTING 149 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:08,154 HANGED, "KUSHNER TOLD SHORT HE HAD NEITHER THE TIME NOR THE 150 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:15,127 INTEREST, BECAUSE HE WAS WORKING ON MIDDLE EAST PEACE." 151 00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:17,797 OH, SO THAT'S WHY THE MIDDLE EAST IS FINE NOW. 152 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,499 ACCORDING TO KARL, MARC SHORT WAS PERSISTENT, BEGGING, 153 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,468 "PLEASE, JARED, CAN YOU TALK TO YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW? 154 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:23,736 THIS IS GETTING DANGEROUS. 155 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:28,140 SOMEBODY'S GOT TO TELL HIM THAT MIKE PENCE CAN'T SINGLEHANDEDLY 156 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,009 OVERTURN THE ELECTION." 157 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:34,213 BUT "KUSHNER SIMPLY TOOK A STEP BACK AND DID NOTHING." 158 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,216 IT'S JUST LIKE JOHN STEWART MILL FAMOUSLY SAID, "ALL IT TAKES FOR 159 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:40,019 EVIL TO TRIUMPH IS FOR GOOD MEN TO DEPEND ON JARED KUSHNER." 160 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:45,892 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 161 00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:49,528 >> Jon: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE SAID. 162 00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:50,630 >> Stephen: EXACTLY. 163 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:51,097 HE WAS GOOD. 164 00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:53,332 THAT GUY WAS GOOD. 165 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:55,167 LATELY, THE NEWS HAS BEEN KIND OF REPETITIVE AND SOMEWHAT 166 00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:57,036 DEPRESSING, SO I'VE GOT TO SAY-- AND I HOPE THIS IS NEVER TAKEN 167 00:08:57,103 --> 00:09:00,172 OUT OF CONTEXT-- THANK YOU, QANON. 168 00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:03,943 ( LAUGHTER ) I'LL UPDATE YOU ON THEIR LATEST 169 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:07,980 UNHINGED WHACK-JOB HIJINX IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF "THE Q 170 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:08,581 FILES: THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. 171 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:12,151 WAY OUT THERE." 172 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,488 ( LAUGHTER ) NOW IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW, YOU 173 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:21,661 KNOW A FEW WEEKS AGO, I TOLD YOU THE TALE OF A GROUP OF QANON 174 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,763 FOLLOWERS WHO HAD GATHERED IN DALLAS, TEXAS, IN ANTICIPATION 175 00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:36,142 OF A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT FROM JOHN F. KENNEDY JR. 176 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,144 UNFORTUNATELY, JOHN F. KENNEDY, HE WAS, SHALL WE SAY, NOT ABLE 177 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,278 TO ATTEND. 178 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:40,413 BUT THE Q-FAITHFUL BELIEVE JOHN-JOHN FAKED HIS OWN DEATH, 179 00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:42,882 AS DID HIS FATHER, AND THAT'S NOT THE CRAZY PART. 180 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,851 THE CRAZY PART IS TWO WEEKS LATER, HUNDREDS OF QANON 181 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:51,057 BELIEVERS ARE STILL IN DALLAS WAITING FOR J.F.K. TO SHOW UP. 182 00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:52,224 OH, YEAH, BECAUSE IF J.F.K. EVER CAME BACK, HE'D WANT TO GO 183 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,627 STRAIGHT TO DALLAS. 184 00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,028 JUST LIKE-- ( APPLAUSE ) 185 00:09:56,095 --> 00:10:03,302 THAT'S WHAT-- YOU KNOW... 186 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:04,503 JUST LIKE WHEN LINCOLN COMES BACK ALIVE, HE'S GOING STRAIGHT 187 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:08,140 TO BROADWAY! 188 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:12,144 ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, YOU'LL NOTICE THERE'S SOME 189 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:16,148 CONFUSION AS TO WHICH J.F.K. 190 00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:20,152 THEY'RE ACTUALLY EXPECTING. 191 00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,255 LET ME CLEAR THAT UP FOR YOU RIGHT NOW: 192 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:26,359 I DON'T KNOW. 193 00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:27,860 DEPENDING UPON WHO YOU ASK, EVERYONE FROM PRINCESS DIANA TO 194 00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:31,864 J.F.K. JR. WERE RUMORED TO BE APPEARING. 195 00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,733 YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT IN SAMUEL BECKETT'S CLASSIC PLAY: 196 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,168 "WAITING FOR WHO YA GOT?" SO WHY ARE THEY STILL WAITING? 197 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:40,006 UNTREATED MENTAL ILLNESS. 198 00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:42,808 BUT ALSO, THEY'RE FOLLOWING MICHAEL BRIAN PROTZMAN, A FORMER 199 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,143 DEMOLITION EXPERT. 200 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:50,483 I DON'T KNOW WHY "FORMER." 201 00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:52,151 DID HE ACCIDENTALLY LEFT SOMETHING UN-BLOWED-UP? 202 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:57,323 PROTZMAN MAKES WILD PREDICTIONS USING A BASTARDIZED VERSION OF 203 00:10:57,390 --> 00:11:01,327 THE HEBREW NUMEROLOGY SYSTEM KNOWN AS GEMATRIA. 204 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:05,197 AND I WOULD DESCRIBE PROTZMAN USING A BASTARDIZED VERSION OF 205 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:05,998 YIDDISH: SCHMUCK. 206 00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,300 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 207 00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:11,370 ORIGINALLY-- ( APPLAUSE ) 208 00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:11,704 SCHMUCK! 209 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:17,243 YOU PUTZ. 210 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:19,945 ORIGINALLY, PROTZMAN CRUNCHED THE NUMBERS AND PREDICTED J.F.K. 211 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,615 WAS GOING TO BE RESURRECTED ON NOVEMBER 2nd. 212 00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:28,721 WHEN NEITHER OF THE JOHNS F. 213 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,624 KENNEDY SHOWED UP THAT DAY, PROTZMAN CHANGED HIS PREDICTION, 214 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,059 BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE JULIAN CALENDAR, MONDAY WAS NOV. 1, AND 215 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:35,027 SO J.F.K. WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO REAPPEAR AT MIDNIGHT. 216 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:37,296 DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ARE SUPPOSED TO 217 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:41,333 MEET, BUT HE'S ON THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR AND YOU'RE ON THE 218 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,701 JULIAN CALENDAR? 219 00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,304 THAT'S WHY I REMEMBER THIS SIMPLE RHYME: "30 DAYS HAS 220 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,373 SEPTEMBER. 221 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,574 YOU'RE AN INSANE QANON MEMBER." 222 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:52,845 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 223 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,180 THE REST HAVE 31. 224 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,147 >> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT. 225 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:59,385 >> Stephen: THE REST HAVE 31, EXCEPT FEBRUARY. 226 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,654 THE REASON THE Q-FOLKS MIGHT BE OUT OF WHACK IS THEY'RE MISSING 227 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,424 THE ADVICE OF ONE OF THEIR SPIRITUAL LEADERS: Q-SHAMAN AND 228 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:11,130 WINNER OF AMERICA'S NEXT TOP FRED FLINTSTONE, JACOB CHANSLEY. 229 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:12,398 NOT ONLY DID CHANSLEY COMMIT THE CRIME OF LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT. 230 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:16,469 HE IS ONE. 231 00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:17,636 ( LAUGHTER ) AFTER FAILING TO FIND MIKE PENCE 232 00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:20,573 IN THE CAPITOL, HE SCRAWLED A NOTE AT THE VICE PRESIDENT'S 233 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:23,375 DAIS THAT READ: "IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME. 234 00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:29,315 JUSTICE IS COMING!" WHICH, TURNS OUT, WAS A "NOTE TO 235 00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:33,085 SELF," BECAUSE EARLIER TODAY, Q-SHAMAN JACOB CHANSLEY WAS 236 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:37,323 SENTENCED TO 41 MONTHS IN PRISON. 237 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:44,597 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S NEARLY THREE AND A HALF 238 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:45,798 YEARS. 239 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,366 SO, WITH GOOD BEHAVIOR, HE COULD BE OUT IN TIME TO STORM THE 240 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,836 CAPITOL IN 2024. 241 00:12:50,903 --> 00:12:53,305 NOW, THE Q-SHAMAN'S LAWYER HAS BLAMED THE FORMER PRESIDENT FOR 242 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:57,176 HIS CLIENT'S CRIMES. 243 00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:59,145 AND AFTER SENTENCING, HE TOLD THE PRESS JUST WHAT HE WOULD SAY 244 00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:01,313 TO THE EX-POTUS: >> I'D TELL HIM, "YOU KNOW WHAT? 245 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:05,351 YOU GOT A FEW (BLEEP) THINGS TO DO, INCLUDING CLEARING THIS 246 00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:07,486 (BLEEP) MESS UP AND TAKING CARE OF A LOT OF THE JACKASSES 247 00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,155 THAT YOU (BLEEP) UP BECAUSE OF JANUARY 6th. 248 00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:12,691 BUT MY OPINION DOESN'T MEAN (BLEEP). 249 00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:17,329 >> Stephen: WOW, I-- I LIKE THAT GUY. 250 00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:21,901 THEY SHOULD PUT HIM ON TV, MAYBE AS A TOUGH-TALKIN' PUBLIC 251 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:25,337 DEFENDER ON "LAW & ORDER S.V.F.U." 252 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:27,106 ( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 253 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:28,073 TONIGHT! 254 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:32,745 MY GUESTS ARE ADAM DRIVER AND AMERICA FERRERA. 255 00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:35,381 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, THE SUPERSTARS OF W.W.E. ANSWER JUST 256 00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:36,649 ONE QUESTION. 257 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,451 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND 258 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,620 STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY. 259 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,788 THERE YOU GO. 260 00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,356 THERE IT IS. 261 00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:23,529 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING ) 262 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,364 JON. 263 00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,999 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 264 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:28,701 THANK YOU ALL OVER THERE. 265 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:34,340 HEY, LISTEN, JON, I HAVE IN MY HANDS THE HOT LITTLE CARDS WITH 266 00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:39,445 THE QUESTIONS ON THEM, NOT THAT I'LL NEED THEM. 267 00:14:39,511 --> 00:14:42,982 THE LOVELY AND TALENTED AMERICA FERRERA WILL BE OUT HERE IN JUST 268 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,016 A LITTLE BIT. 269 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,485 ( APPLAUSE ) BUT FIRST WE'RE ANYTHING TO HAVE 270 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,256 YOUR FRIEND, ADAM DRIVER IS GOING TO BE OUT HERE IN JUST A 271 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:51,323 MOMENT. 272 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,260 YOU ALL KNOW EACH OTHER BACK FROM THE JUILLIARD DAYS. 273 00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:57,129 >> Jon: A GREAT FRIEND OF MINE, YES, INDEED. 274 00:14:57,196 --> 00:15:03,435 >> Stephen: THAT'S LOVELY. 275 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:05,337 FOLKS, ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY, FAMILIES ARE GATHERING TOGETHER 276 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:08,307 TO CELEBRATE THIS SPECIAL TIME OF YEAR-- THE W.W.E. "SURVIVOR 277 00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:10,943 SERIES," HAPPENING THIS SUNDAY HERE IN NEW YORK. 278 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,345 AND I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS, LIKE "WHO WILL TAKE HOME THE 279 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,447 TITLE?" AND "WILL SOMEONE GET HIT WITH A FOLDING CHAIR, OR 280 00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:17,783 WILL THEY UP THE STAKES AND USE A LAY-Z-BOY?" 281 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:21,353 AND I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH QUESTIONS. 282 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:25,157 I THINK EVERYONE HERE AT "THE LATE SHOW" WOULD LOVE TO ASK 283 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:27,459 JUST ONE QUESTION OF THE BIGGEST W.W.E. SUPERSTARS, LIKE RANDY 284 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:36,201 ORTON, SETH ROLLINS, BIANCA BELAIR, BECKY LYNCH, THE STREET 285 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,336 PROFITS, BIG E, AND THE MIZ. 286 00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:40,706 SO WE LET MY STAFF DO JUST THAT. 287 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:44,643 THIS IS "THE LATE SHOW'S JUST ONE QUESTION: W.W.E. EDITION." 288 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:45,477 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 289 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:49,415 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART 290 00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:56,288 ABOUT BEING IN W.W.E.? 291 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:59,091 >> I GET TO BEAT GIRLS UP AND LIFT THEM OVER MY HEAD AND GET 292 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:00,359 PAID WHILE I DO IT. 293 00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:06,165 >> THERE'S NOTHING QUITE LIKE ENTERING AN ARENA AND HAVING 294 00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:08,334 10,000 PEOPLE CHANTING, "YOU SUCK." 295 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,736 >> IF YOU COULD FIGHT ANYBODY IN THE WORLD, WHO WOULD YOU PICK? 296 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:15,441 >> I WOULD FIRE DEPARTMENT GEORGE CLOONEY. 297 00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,343 >> MAYBE CRUELA DEVILL. 298 00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:19,912 >> THIS IS GOING TO BLOW EVERYBODY'S MIND. 299 00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,347 I THINK I WOULD FIGHT MYSELF. 300 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:25,050 >> HEY, BIG E., DO YOU THINK I CAN GET AS BIG AS YOU? 301 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:26,485 >> OF COURSE YOU CAN. 302 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,587 IT'S MOSTLY POSITIVITY AND OPTIMISM. 303 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:32,891 YOU'RE GOING TO WANT AT LEAST 70 POUNDS OF POSITIVITY! 304 00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,794 >> I'VE BEEN WATCHING A LONG TIME, AND I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED, 305 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,564 WHY DO THEY CALL IT A RING WHEN IT'S A SQUARE? 306 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:41,467 >> THAT'S A-- THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 307 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:43,268 >> WHOA! 308 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:48,774 YOU JUST MADE ME WORK UP ON THE THE MOST IMPORTANT MUSCLE OF 309 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:49,108 ALL. 310 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,309 THE BICEP. 311 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:53,345 ( LAUGHTER ) >> WHAT'S THE MOST PAINFUL HOLD 312 00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:56,081 YOU'VE EVER EXPERIENCED? 313 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:57,216 >> RIGHT NOW. 314 00:16:57,282 --> 00:17:02,254 I'VE BEEN ON HOLD 45 MINUTES WITH THE DAMN CABLE COMPANY. 315 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:06,792 >> SETH ROLLINS, I HEARD THAT WHEN YOU TRAVEL YOU ALWAYS BRING 316 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,093 YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP BELT WITH YOU ON THE PLANE? 317 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,261 WHY? 318 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:12,731 >> WELL, HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP UP MY CHAMPIONSHIP 319 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:13,532 PANTS. 320 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:16,068 >> MY QUESTION IS FOR STREET PROFITS. 321 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:21,240 I NOTICE THAT YOU SPELL PROFIT WITH AN "F," LIKE MONEY. 322 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,542 SO DO YOU HAVE ANY FINANCIAL ADVICE FOR PEOPLE? 323 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:27,679 >> YEAH, STOP TALKING ABOUT BITCOIN. 324 00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:29,281 >> YEAH, JUST STOP. 325 00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:31,550 JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. 326 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,219 >> RANDY ORTON, THEY CALL YOU THE VIPER. 327 00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:37,623 IS THAT BECAUSE OF YOUR INSTINCTS? 328 00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:39,425 >> NO. 329 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:41,326 CLASSIC RAVE CLAW. 330 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:47,633 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> WHAT MUSIC GETS YOU PUMPED UP 331 00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:49,368 BEFORE A W.W.E. MATCH? 332 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:55,073 >> NAH, I LOVE HEAVY METAL AFTER A MATCH, BUT BEFORE A MATCH I 333 00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:58,143 ONLY LISTEN TO BOB DYLAN'S CHRISTMAS ALBUM. 334 00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:58,744 SO WEIRD. 335 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,345 IT MAKES ME REALLY ANGRY. 336 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:03,949 >> BECKY, THIS GUY WANTS TO KNOW IF IT HURTS TO GET HIT BY A 337 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,952 STEEL CHAIR. 338 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:07,719 >> OH! 339 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,622 >> OH, WOW, I GUESS IT DOES HURT. 340 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:13,826 >> BIANCA BELAIR, I LOVE WHEN YOU USE YOUR LONG BRAID TO WHIP 341 00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:16,695 PEOPLE, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED-- IS IT REAL? 342 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,096 >> NOT ONLY IS IT REAL. 343 00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:21,333 IT HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN. 344 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,435 CHECK IT OUT. 345 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:24,903 OOPS, THERE SHE IS. 346 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,206 THERE SHE IS. 347 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:27,940 THERE SHE IS. 348 00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:29,908 OH, SHE LIKES YOU. 349 00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:30,309 OACHMENT! 350 00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:31,210 >> HEY, THERE. 351 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,911 YOU WORKING ON ANY OF YOUR FINISHING MOVES? 352 00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:38,383 >> YEAH, GOIT THIS NEW ONE CALLED "THE GUT BUSTER," WHERE I 353 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,320 SERVE THEM AN ENTIRE THANKSGIVING MEAL AND I WAIT FOR 354 00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:44,323 THEM TO TAKE A NAP SO I CAN PIN THEM. 355 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:50,062 I'M BRINGING ALL THE FIXIN'. 356 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:53,198 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 357 00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:54,333 >> Stephen: THANK YOU, W.W.E! 358 00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:57,436 "SURVIVOR SERIES" STREAMS LIVE THIS SUNDAY ON PEACOCK AND 359 00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:00,239 "WRESTLEMANIA 38" TICKETS ARE ON-SALE NOW! 360 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,341 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ADAM DRIVER. 361 00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:23,929 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK, 362 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,165 EVERYBODY! 363 00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:27,633 HOT! 364 00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:28,567 IT'S HOT IN HERE. 365 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:29,501 >> Jon: OH, YEAH, IT'S HOT. 366 00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,603 IT IS, VERY HOT TODAY. 367 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:36,341 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 368 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,710 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACTOR YOU 369 00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:40,212 KNOW FROM "BLACK KLANSMAN," "MARRIAGE STORY," AND "STAR 370 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:40,979 WARS." 371 00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:45,350 HE NOW STARS IN "HOUSE OF GUCCI." 372 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:49,521 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> WHO IS MAKING THIS STUFF? 373 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:54,426 WHO IS ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN? 374 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:57,262 >> THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD. 375 00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:58,497 I'D BUY THEM. 376 00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:04,836 .>> DON'T BE SUCH A CRETIN. 377 00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:07,573 >> DON'T CALL ME A CRETIN, SWEETIE. 378 00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:08,707 >> THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID. 379 00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,342 I ASKED YOU NOT TO BE ONE. 380 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,777 THIS IS SERIOUS, AND YOU'RE LAUGHING IT OFF. 381 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:15,514 >> AT LEAST IT'S MY NAME ON THE MUGS, NOT YOURS. 382 00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:19,618 >> OUR NAME. 383 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,520 SWEETIE. 384 00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:24,289 ON JUNK. 385 00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:25,691 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK 386 00:20:25,757 --> 00:20:31,330 TO "THE LATE SHOW," ADAM DRIVER! 387 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:41,373 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 388 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:49,514 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 389 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:58,790 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 390 00:20:58,857 --> 00:20:59,458 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK. 391 00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,360 >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 392 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:02,628 >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU. 393 00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:04,296 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 394 00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:06,965 >> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU FOR DRESSING 395 00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:07,466 APPROPRIATELY AUTUMNAL. 396 00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:07,866 I LIKE IT. 397 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:08,800 >> THANK YOU. 398 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:10,736 >> Stephen: IT'S SEASONALLY APPROPRIATE. 399 00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:15,474 IT'S VERY P PROFESSORIAL AT THE SAME TIME. 400 00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:16,642 >> I FEEL IT. 401 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:19,611 >> Stephen: IN THE NEW FILM, "HOUSE OF GUCCI," YOU ARE THE 402 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:22,114 PRIME GUCCI. 403 00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:22,714 YOU ARE MAURIZIO GUCCI. 404 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:23,882 >> I THINK SO. 405 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:29,521 >> AND LADY GAGA, PLAYS YOUR WIFE WHO IS PATRIZIA REGGIANI, 406 00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:30,689 RIGHT? 407 00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:33,492 WHO-- SPOILER, IT'S NOT A SPOILER, EVERYBODY KNOWS-- PLOTS 408 00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:34,359 YOUR MURDER. 409 00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:35,327 >> SURE. 410 00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:38,230 >> Stephen: I'M NOT GIVING ANYTHING WAY, AM I? 411 00:21:38,296 --> 00:21:40,032 >> NO IN LIFE AND THE MOVIE. 412 00:21:40,098 --> 00:21:43,602 >> Stephen: HERE'S A PIC OF THE TWO OF YOU ON SET. 413 00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:45,170 THIS MADE THE ROUNDS LAST YEAR. 414 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:48,206 IT GOT PEOPLE VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS FILM. 415 00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:50,642 THERE YOU ARE IN ST. MORITZ OR SOMETHING. 416 00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:53,211 WHERE ARE YOU DOING THIS FAMOUS THING? 417 00:21:53,278 --> 00:21:53,645 >> ST. MORIT. 418 00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:55,347 WE'RE IN ITALY. 419 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:56,548 YEAH. 420 00:21:56,615 --> 00:22:01,253 >> Stephen: SO MY QUESTION IS, IS IT FUN TO PLAY RICH PEOPLE? 421 00:22:01,319 --> 00:22:03,622 LIKE, ARE THE CONDITIONS FOR SHOOTING NICER IF YOU'RE PLAYING 422 00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:08,160 A RICH PERSON, AS OPPOSED TO, SAY, AN AVERAGE JOE? 423 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:09,628 >> OH, YEAH. 424 00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:10,662 YEAH, IT'S WAY BETTER. 425 00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:11,463 >> Stephen: YEAH. 426 00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:12,631 YOU RECOMMEND IT. 427 00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:16,902 >> WELL, IN THE SHOOTING, THE CLOTHES ARE NICER, THEY FEEL 428 00:22:16,968 --> 00:22:18,103 BETTER. 429 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,938 BUT THE CONDITIONS ARE PRETTY MUCH NOT AS GLAMOROUS AS THAT 430 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:20,839 PICTURE IS. 431 00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:22,808 IT'S-- IT'S OKAY-- YEAH, IT IS. 432 00:22:22,874 --> 00:22:26,111 BECAUSE THEN PEOPLE COME AND THEY BRING LAMBORGHINIS FOR YOU 433 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,245 TO DRIVE. 434 00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:32,184 AS OPPOSED TO, I DON'T KNOW, WHAT THE OTHER MOVIES WERE. 435 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:34,753 THEY'RE NOT LAMBORGHINIS. 436 00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:38,790 WHETHER THEY'RE PINTOS OR -- >> Stephen: THERE HAS TO BE 437 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,759 SOMETHING BETWEEN A LAMBORGHINI AND A PINTO. 438 00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:44,429 THIS IS YOUR SECOND FILM IN THE LAST-- COMING UP THIS YEAR THAT 439 00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:46,264 YOU SHOT WITH RIDLEY SCOTT. 440 00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:49,000 I'M CURIOUS, WHAT IS HE LIKE AS A DIRECTOR? 441 00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:51,236 YOU'VE SEEN HIM IN TOTALLY DIFFERENT SITUATIONS. 442 00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:58,110 THERE'S NO RELATIONSHIP IN STORY, CONTENT, ARC, ANYTHING 443 00:22:58,176 --> 00:23:01,480 BETWEEN THE DUEL-- IT'S CALLED "THE LAST DUAL." 444 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:02,514 WHICH THE "HOUSE OF GUCCI." 445 00:23:02,581 --> 00:23:04,583 WHAT'S THE COMMONALITY BETWEEN THE WAY HE DIRECTS? 446 00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:08,553 >> HE HAS A VERY SPECIFIC PROCESS WHERE HE REALLY BELIEVES 447 00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:09,287 IN MOMENTUM. 448 00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:10,856 AND MORAL IS A HUGE THING. 449 00:23:10,922 --> 00:23:13,925 AND HE TRUSTS YOU, WHICH YOU EXPECT HIM TO KIND OF COME ON 450 00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:22,634 WITH HIS RESUME AND BE LIKE A-- YOU KNOW, "I SHOT 'BLEAD RUNNER" 451 00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:23,502 AND 'ALIEN." 452 00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:27,038 IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING HE'LL ADAPT. 453 00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:28,240 HE'LL PIVOT IN A MOMENT. 454 00:23:28,306 --> 00:23:31,143 .>> Stephen: DOES HE GIVE YOU NOTES, AND SAY, THAT'S GOOD. 455 00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:35,113 >> EVEN HIS NOTES ARE VERY SUCCINCT. 456 00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:37,749 HE DOESN'T WASTE TIME. 457 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:42,187 >> Stephen: "LAST DUEL" WAS SHOT IN THE COUNTRYSIDE OF 458 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,855 FRANCE AND THIS WAS SHOT IN ITALY. 459 00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:46,858 ARE YOU CHOOSING PROJECTS JUST BASED UPON HOW GOOD THE FOOLED 460 00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:48,026 IS WHERE YOU GO? 461 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,194 >> COMPLETELY. 462 00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,863 >> Stephen: AND IF SO, AND YOU HAD TO CHOOSE-- AND YOU MUST 463 00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:55,000 CHOOSE BECAUSE IT'S MY SHOW-- FRENCH FOOD OR ITALIAN FOOD? 464 00:23:55,066 --> 00:23:56,001 >> OH, MY GOD. 465 00:23:56,067 --> 00:23:57,969 >> Stephen: NO, YOU HAVE TO ANSWER. 466 00:23:58,036 --> 00:24:00,172 YOU'RE SWORN IN. 467 00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:03,008 WE SWORE HIM IN BACK STAGE. 468 00:24:03,074 --> 00:24:04,843 WE SWEAR IN ALL OF OUR GUESTS. 469 00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:07,646 >> I WOULD HAVE TO SAY ITALIAN FOOD 470 00:24:07,712 --> 00:24:09,214 ( APPLAUSE ) THANK GOD THAT WAS THE RIGHT 471 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,382 ANSWER. 472 00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:13,785 DURING THE WEEKENDS, I WOULD TAKE SOME TRIPS TO TUSCANY AND 473 00:24:13,852 --> 00:24:16,388 EAT THERE AS MUCH AS I COULD AND IT WAS PRETTY INCREDIBLE. 474 00:24:16,454 --> 00:24:19,524 >> Stephen: ARE YOU THE KIND OF PERSON WHO CAN EAT AND NOT 475 00:24:19,591 --> 00:24:20,592 GAIN WAIT? 476 00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:22,627 AND KEEP IN MIND IF YOU SAY YES, EVERYONE HATES YOU. 477 00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:23,128 >> NO. 478 00:24:23,195 --> 00:24:24,496 >> Stephen: REALLY. 479 00:24:24,563 --> 00:24:25,397 >> SHOCK WILL, NO. 480 00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:27,232 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 481 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,501 STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MR. ADAM DRIVER, 482 00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:30,001 EVERYBODY. 483 00:24:41,546 --> 00:24:42,180 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, 484 00:24:42,247 --> 00:24:45,483 WE'RE BACK WITH MR. ADAM DRIVER. 485 00:24:45,550 --> 00:24:51,323 ADAM, LAST WEEK WAS VETERANS DAY, AND YOU WERE A MARINE OVER 486 00:24:51,389 --> 00:24:53,291 A DECADE AGO. 487 00:24:53,358 --> 00:24:56,828 ( APPLAUSE ) I WANT TO GET THIS NAME RIGHT. 488 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:59,564 YOU COFOUNDED ARTS AND THE ARMED FORCES. 489 00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:04,236 WHY DID YOU WANT TO BRING THEATER TO ACTIVE-DUTY SERVICE 490 00:25:04,302 --> 00:25:05,370 MEMBERS? 491 00:25:05,437 --> 00:25:08,473 >> WELL, I HAD JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE MILITARY, AND I WAS 492 00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:11,576 INTERESTED IN ACTING BEFORE I LEFT FOR THE MARINE CORPS. 493 00:25:11,643 --> 00:25:15,146 WHEN YOU GET OUT YOU KIND OF PURSUE THE THING YOU WERE 494 00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:17,515 INTERESTED IN-- AT LEAST I DID-- BEFORE. 495 00:25:17,582 --> 00:25:21,019 BECAUSE COMPARED TO THE MILITARY IT SEEMS ATTAINABLE, WHICH IS AN 496 00:25:21,086 --> 00:25:22,287 ILLUSION. 497 00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:24,289 I HAPPEN TO HAVE GONE TO SCHOOL AT JUILLIARD WITH JON, ACTUALLY. 498 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:25,991 >> Stephen: WITH JON RIGHT OVER THERE. 499 00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:26,892 YEAH. 500 00:25:26,958 --> 00:25:29,995 ( APPLAUSE ) >> THAT'S WHERE WE MET. 501 00:25:30,061 --> 00:25:36,067 AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, WE KIND-- THE CONNECTION OF 502 00:25:36,134 --> 00:25:38,503 LANGUAGE AND-- THROUGH THEATER, THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE 503 00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:42,841 MILITARY AND THE PROCESS OF WORKING ON SOMETHING IS EXACTLY 504 00:25:42,908 --> 00:25:45,310 LIKE BEING IN THE MILITARY, ACTUALLY. 505 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:48,580 OBVIOUSLY, ONE-- YOU'RE PRETENDING THE STAKES ARE LIFE 506 00:25:48,647 --> 00:25:50,849 AND DEATH, AND THE OTHER THAT THEY ACTUALLY ARE. 507 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:54,853 BUT THE TEAM EFFORT OF IT, THAT YOU HAVE A ROLE AND YOU KNOW 508 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:59,457 YOUR ROLE WITHIN YOUR UNIT, AND THE PERSON THAT'S LEADING IT IS 509 00:25:59,524 --> 00:26:02,827 PARAMOUNT, AND IF THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, WHAT YOU'RE DOING 510 00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,430 FEELS ACTIVE AND RELEVANT AND NECESSARY, AND IF THEY DON'T IT 511 00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:07,132 FEELS LIKE A WASTE OF TIME AND DANGEROUS. 512 00:26:07,198 --> 00:26:10,735 AND IT'S REALLY NOT ABOUT THE INDIVIDUAL JOURNEY. 513 00:26:10,802 --> 00:26:14,406 IT'S ABOUT-- ACKNOWLEDGING OTHER PEOPLE AND ASKING THEM QUESTIONS 514 00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:15,674 ABOUT THEMSELVES. 515 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:19,277 BUT WORKING AS A TEAM IN A UNIT, YOU KNOW, AND IT KIND OF TAKES-- 516 00:26:19,344 --> 00:26:21,980 ALL TO ACCOMPLISH A MISSION THAT'S BIGGER THAN ANY ONE 517 00:26:22,047 --> 00:26:23,181 PERSON. 518 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:25,116 AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, BEING ON A FILM 519 00:26:25,183 --> 00:26:26,751 SET OR A CREW. 520 00:26:26,818 --> 00:26:30,322 EVERYONE'S BATTLING TECHNOLOGY AND TIME, AND THERE'S 521 00:26:30,388 --> 00:26:31,256 IMPROVISATION UNDER PRESSURE. 522 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:33,325 AND PEOPLE ARE THERE FOR YOU OR THEY'RE NOT. 523 00:26:33,391 --> 00:26:36,261 >> Stephen: YOU THREW A BENEFIT EVENT RIGHT DOWN THE 524 00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:38,663 STREET HERE AT ROUNDABOUT, STUDIO 54. 525 00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:40,999 >> WE HAVE DONE IT A LOT OF TIMES. 526 00:26:41,066 --> 00:26:42,200 >> Stephen: THERE IS FAIRLY RECENTLY. 527 00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:44,069 THERE YOU ARE RIGHT THERE. 528 00:26:44,135 --> 00:26:47,806 AND, LOOK, A FAMILIAR FACE WAS THERE. 529 00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:48,974 THERE'S JON PLAYING AT IT. 530 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:55,280 ( APPLAUSE ) JON, HOW-- HOW WAS IT? 531 00:26:55,347 --> 00:27:01,019 >> Jon: I THINK IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL IDEA TO BRING THE ARTS 532 00:27:01,086 --> 00:27:04,155 TO PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF HOLLYWOOD OR THE COASTAL ELITE CITIES, ART 533 00:27:04,222 --> 00:27:05,623 CIRCLES, AND THINGS LIKE THAT. 534 00:27:05,690 --> 00:27:06,758 PARTICULARLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE RISKED THEIR LIVES FOR OUR 535 00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:07,993 FREEDOMS. 536 00:27:08,059 --> 00:27:11,262 SO PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY, GOING BACK FOUR GENERATIONS, HAVE ALL 537 00:27:11,329 --> 00:27:11,930 SERVED THIS COUNTRY. 538 00:27:11,997 --> 00:27:14,799 SO I JUST LOVED THE IDEA. 539 00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:15,934 IT WAS GREAT TO BE THERE. 540 00:27:16,001 --> 00:27:22,140 ( APPLAUSE ) >> JON DID ONE OF OUR FIRST 541 00:27:22,207 --> 00:27:25,377 PERFORMANCES THAT WE EVER DID, WHICH WAS IN CAMP PENDLETON, 542 00:27:25,443 --> 00:27:26,978 WHERE I WAS STATIONED AT. 543 00:27:27,045 --> 00:27:30,382 WE INITIALLY STARTED IT,s IT WAS A HARD SELL BECAUSE YOU 544 00:27:30,448 --> 00:27:33,251 TAKE-- YOU TAKE THEATER OUT OF A METROPOLITAN AREA AND SUDDENLY 545 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:34,486 IT'S A WEAPON. 546 00:27:34,552 --> 00:27:39,691 YOU KNOW, WHEN SOMEONE'S PERFORMING IT LIVE IT'S MORE 547 00:27:39,758 --> 00:27:42,093 MEMORABLE AND EFFECTIVE. 548 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,263 BUT NOW, CELEBRITY REALLY BREAKS DOWN BARRIERS AND OPENS DOORS 549 00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,264 FOR US IN A SENSE. 550 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:48,933 AND IT'S REALLY NOT FOR THE HIGHER-UPS ANYWAY. 551 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,705 IT'S REALLY FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES, OR 552 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:55,707 HAVE JOINED THE MILITARY FOR A GREEN CARD, YOU KNOW. 553 00:27:55,774 --> 00:27:58,443 AND THEY'RE THE GRUNTS. 554 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:01,846 THEY DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THEATER, WHICH I THINK IS A 555 00:28:01,913 --> 00:28:05,350 REALLY-- IT REALLY IS JUST AS VALUABLE A TOOL TO COMMUNICATE 556 00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:06,017 AS A RIFLE. 557 00:28:06,084 --> 00:28:08,386 I THINK IT CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE. 558 00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:10,188 >> Stephen: DID IT SAVE YOURS? 559 00:28:10,255 --> 00:28:11,022 ( APPLAUSE ). 560 00:28:11,089 --> 00:28:12,190 >> I THINK SO. 561 00:28:12,257 --> 00:28:17,695 THERE'S A-- THERE'S NOT A LOT OF EMPHASIS ON ARTICULATING A 562 00:28:17,762 --> 00:28:21,066 FEELING, AND I SAW IN PEOPLE THEY SERVED WITH, WHEN THEY 563 00:28:21,132 --> 00:28:25,070 COULDN'T-- WHEN THEY COULDN'T SAY THE THING, THEY'D GET MAD. 564 00:28:25,136 --> 00:28:28,673 YOU KNOW, THEY'D HAVE-- WHEN YOU CAN'T EXPRESS A THOUGHT OR A 565 00:28:28,740 --> 00:28:31,876 FEELING OR EVEN THOUGH YOU HA HAVE-- YOU HAVE NO TOOLS TO GET 566 00:28:31,943 --> 00:28:35,713 IT OUT, YOU CAN WATCH PEOPLE SELF-DESTRUCT. 567 00:28:35,780 --> 00:28:39,951 AND I THINK IN WATCHING SOMETHING, EVEN IF IT'S NOT-- WE 568 00:28:40,018 --> 00:28:41,953 SPECIFICALLY PICKED THINGS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE 569 00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:43,688 MILITARY BECAUSE WE'RE NOT TELLING THE MILITARY WHAT IT'S 570 00:28:43,755 --> 00:28:48,560 LIKE TO BE IN THE TELLING, LIKE THROUGH A TONY KUSHNER PLAY, OR 571 00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:50,962 AUGUST WILSON, YOU KNOW, PLAY, SUDDENLY YOU'RE WATCHING 572 00:28:51,029 --> 00:28:54,099 SOMETHING ABOUT, YOU KNOW,-- YOU'RE WATCHING FENCES AND 573 00:28:54,165 --> 00:28:57,469 YOU'RE MAKING A CONNECTION AND YOUR LIFE, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE 574 00:28:57,535 --> 00:29:00,171 NOTHING-- NO RELATIONSHIP TO THOSE PEOPLE AT ALL. 575 00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:03,374 THEIR LIFE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN YOURS AND AS YOU 576 00:29:03,441 --> 00:29:06,177 FEEL IN YOUR AUDIENCE, A COLLECTIVE INTELLIGENCE STARTS 577 00:29:06,244 --> 00:29:07,712 HAPPENING IN THE ROOM IN THEATER WITH STRANGERS. 578 00:29:07,779 --> 00:29:10,448 YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WHO HAVE TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES 579 00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:13,084 AND THE WAY THEY'RE TELLING YOU ABOUT THE PLAY. 580 00:29:13,151 --> 00:29:16,788 AND THAT'S THE THING ABOUT LIVE PERFORMANCE THAT-- AND THEATER 581 00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:21,626 THAT WHY NOT SHARE THAT WITH THE LESS THAN 1% OF OUR COUNTRY 582 00:29:21,693 --> 00:29:25,396 THAT'S BEING ASKED TO BEAR 100% FOR ITS SAFETY, YOU KNOW, 583 00:29:25,463 --> 00:29:26,464 BECAUSE THEY WON'T GET A PLAY? 584 00:29:26,531 --> 00:29:27,265 YOU KNOW? 585 00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:29,868 ( APPLAUSE ) GIVE THEM A RIFLE. 586 00:29:29,934 --> 00:29:36,374 BUT THEY-- SAM SHEPPARD IS TOO CONFRONTATIONAL, YOU KNOW. 587 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:39,644 >> Stephen: I THINK ONE OF THE AMAZING THINGS ABOUT HUMAN 588 00:29:39,711 --> 00:29:42,313 BEINGS IS WE ALL HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS. 589 00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:45,283 WE'RE OFTEN SO POORLY TRAINED TO SHARE THEM WITH EACH OTHER, THAT 590 00:29:45,350 --> 00:29:52,891 WE WILL GO PAY MONEY TO SIT IN A DARK ROOM AND WATCH PEOPLE ON 591 00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:53,958 STAGE HAVE THEM FOR US. 592 00:29:54,025 --> 00:29:56,694 THERE IS SOME MAGICAL TRANSFORMATION THAT HAPPENS IN 593 00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:58,863 US BY WITNESSING THE FREEDOM THAT'S HAPPENING ON STAGE. 594 00:29:58,930 --> 00:29:59,697 >> RIGHT. 595 00:29:59,764 --> 00:30:01,065 >> Stephen: AND FREES YOU IN SOME WAY. 596 00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:05,336 >> AND THE DIALOGUE IS NOT-- LITERALLY, PEOPLE START 597 00:30:05,403 --> 00:30:07,505 BREATHING IN RHYTHM, YOU KNOW. 598 00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:10,208 THEY-- THE TEMPERATURE CHANGES. 599 00:30:10,275 --> 00:30:15,713 I MEAN-- AND THE DIVERSITY OF AUDIENCE WITH THE DIVERSITY OF-- 600 00:30:15,780 --> 00:30:19,083 AND SPECIFICITY OF A GREAT STORY ON STAGE, THERE'S NOTHING MORE 601 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:20,251 ANCIENT THAN THAT, ACTUALLY. 602 00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:22,086 >> Stephen: AND SOMETHING THAT WAS VERY COMMON AT ONE TIME. 603 00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:23,288 >> OH, YEAH. 604 00:30:23,354 --> 00:30:25,823 >> Stephen: IT'S IN OUR MODERN LIVES THAT THEATER IS ONLY IN 605 00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:26,991 METROPOLITAN AREAS. 606 00:30:27,058 --> 00:30:34,065 >> IT GOES TO THE GREEKS, URIP DISEASE, GENERALS WHO WROTE 607 00:30:34,132 --> 00:30:37,835 PLAYS FOR AN AUDIENCE AT WAR, SO THEY WOULD GET TOGETHER AND SIT 608 00:30:37,902 --> 00:30:41,172 AND WATCH SOMEONE IN THEIR COMMUNITY AND ACT WHAT WAS JUST 609 00:30:41,239 --> 00:30:43,841 HAPPENING ON THE BATTLE FRONT. 610 00:30:43,908 --> 00:30:46,177 AND KNOW-- IT'S NOT A NEW IDEA. 611 00:30:46,244 --> 00:30:48,213 IT'S ACTUALLY AN ANCIENT ONE. 612 00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:51,716 AND ACTUALLY, WHEN I CAME BACK TO NEW YORK, I SAW, I WENT AND 613 00:30:51,783 --> 00:31:01,025 SAW A MOVIE, I WENT AND SAW A GALLERY, AND THEN I SAW CAROLINA 614 00:31:01,092 --> 00:31:02,794 AT THE ROUNDABOUT. 615 00:31:02,860 --> 00:31:06,831 IT DOESN'T GET MORE ARCHAIC THAN THIS IN A SENSE. 616 00:31:06,898 --> 00:31:09,801 WE'RE PEOPLE THAT WE'RE PRETENDING THEY DON'T SEE, AND 617 00:31:09,867 --> 00:31:12,437 THEY'RE PRETENDING THEY DON'T SEE US, AND WE'RE WATCHING THEM 618 00:31:12,503 --> 00:31:16,641 ADVOCATE A LIFE THAT WE DON'T KNOW IF IT'S-- SUDDENLY WE'RE 619 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:20,411 ALL REMINDED OF OUR SHARED HUMANITY, YOU KNOW, IN A WAY 620 00:31:20,478 --> 00:31:23,715 THAT ALSO IN MOVIES I THINK CAN HAPPEN, WHICH IS WHAT'S 621 00:31:23,781 --> 00:31:26,718 DANGEROUS ABOUT STREAMING, BUT I WILL LEAVE THAT ALONE. 622 00:31:26,784 --> 00:31:28,720 ( LAUGHTER ) THERE'S SOMETHING POWERFUL ABOUT 623 00:31:28,786 --> 00:31:31,856 GETTING IN A DARK ROOM WITH STRANGERS AND SHARING-- WATCHING 624 00:31:31,923 --> 00:31:34,392 SOMETHING COLLECTIVE, YOU KNOW. 625 00:31:34,459 --> 00:31:35,426 >> Stephen: I HOPE PEOPLE ARE DOING IT IN A DARK ROOM RIGHT 626 00:31:35,493 --> 00:31:37,428 NOW AT HOME IN THEIR BEDS WITH STRANGERS. 627 00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:40,164 ( LAUGHTER ) WELL, ADAM IT WAS SO GREAT TO 628 00:31:40,231 --> 00:31:41,199 HAVE YOU HERE. 629 00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:42,800 >> SORRY FOR MONOLOGUING. 630 00:31:42,867 --> 00:31:45,436 >> Stephen: I LOVE IT. 631 00:31:45,503 --> 00:31:48,339 ( APPLAUSE ) "HOUSE OF GUCCI" IS IN THEATERS 632 00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:49,240 NOVEMBER 24. 633 00:31:49,307 --> 00:31:51,376 ADAM DRIVER, EVERYBODY! 634 00:31:51,442 --> 00:31:53,578 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AMERICA FERRERA. 635 00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:29,514 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 636 00:32:29,580 --> 00:32:36,621 WELCOME BACK. 637 00:32:36,688 --> 00:32:38,122 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY AWARD-WINNING 638 00:32:38,189 --> 00:32:41,459 ACTRESS, DIRECTOR, AND ACTIVIST YOU KNOW FROM "UGLY BETTY" AND 639 00:32:41,526 --> 00:32:42,727 "SUPERSTORE." 640 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:43,661 HER NETFLIX SERIES, "GENTIFIED," HAS JUST RETURNED FOR ITS SECOND 641 00:32:43,728 --> 00:32:44,796 SEASON. 642 00:32:44,862 --> 00:32:49,500 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," AMERICA FERRERA! 643 00:32:49,567 --> 00:32:59,544 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 644 00:32:59,610 --> 00:33:05,283 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 645 00:33:05,350 --> 00:33:06,150 >> Stephen: HEY. 646 00:33:06,217 --> 00:33:07,051 >> HI! 647 00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:09,020 >> Stephen: IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 648 00:33:09,087 --> 00:33:10,755 >> IT'S SO GOOD TO BE BACK. 649 00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:14,492 >> Stephen: WE HAVE NOT TALKED, YOU KNOW, IN FRONT OF A 650 00:33:14,559 --> 00:33:15,059 CAMERA SINCE 2018. 651 00:33:15,126 --> 00:33:16,661 >> I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. 652 00:33:16,728 --> 00:33:26,904 >> Stephen: AND THINESS THEN, YOU HAVE HAD A BABY GIRL, 653 00:33:26,971 --> 00:33:27,338 LUCKIA. 654 00:33:27,405 --> 00:33:27,839 CONGRATULATIONS. 655 00:33:27,905 --> 00:33:28,806 >> SHE'S NUMBER TWO. 656 00:33:28,873 --> 00:33:30,475 SHE WAS BORN MAY 2020. 657 00:33:30,541 --> 00:33:31,542 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, GREAT. 658 00:33:31,609 --> 00:33:34,579 >> I WAS SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT WHEN QUARANTINE BEGAN. 659 00:33:34,645 --> 00:33:37,548 AND SHE HAS A LOT OF 2020 ENERGY. 660 00:33:37,615 --> 00:33:38,683 >> Stephen: SURE. 661 00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:44,455 >> SHE IS FIERCE, AND SORT OF UNRELENTING, AND SHE BITES 662 00:33:44,522 --> 00:33:44,922 OCCASIONALLY. 663 00:33:44,989 --> 00:33:46,224 >> Stephen: SURE. 664 00:33:46,290 --> 00:33:52,296 IT HAS-- I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, IT'S FLOWN SO FAST, "UGLY BETTY" 665 00:33:52,363 --> 00:33:53,498 PREMIERED 15 YEARS AGO. 666 00:33:53,564 --> 00:33:59,637 ( APPLAUSE ) >> THAT'S CRAZY. 667 00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:03,775 >> Stephen: YOU'VE CHANGED A LITTLE. 668 00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:06,511 AND WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT GETTING THAT GIG? 669 00:34:06,577 --> 00:34:08,813 HOW DID YOU FIND OUT THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BE THE LEAD? 670 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:09,414 >> OH! 671 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,048 >> Stephen: ON THIS SHOW? 672 00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:13,518 >> I WAS-- I WAS 21. 673 00:34:13,584 --> 00:34:17,889 I WAS DOING AN OFF-BROADWAY PLAY. 674 00:34:17,955 --> 00:34:19,657 IT WAS A TWO-DAY SHOW. 675 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:21,392 I WAS IN BETWEEN SHOWS. 676 00:34:21,459 --> 00:34:24,896 I WAS GOING AROUND THE CORNER TO GET A PIZZA BECAUSE THAT WAS 677 00:34:24,962 --> 00:34:27,965 WHAT WAS CHEAP AND I DIDN'T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY, AND I GOT THE 678 00:34:28,032 --> 00:34:32,637 PHONE CALL WHILE I WAS HAVING A SLICE OF PIZZA IN BETWEEN SHOWS 679 00:34:32,703 --> 00:34:33,704 OFF BROADWAY. 680 00:34:33,771 --> 00:34:36,674 IT WAS, OBVIOUSLY, LIFE CHANGING ON SO MANY LEVEL S. 681 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:38,543 >> Stephen: WHEN DID YOU KNOW THE SHOW WAS A HIT? 682 00:34:38,609 --> 00:34:41,512 >> I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I WAS WORKING SO HARD AND I WAS ON A 683 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,781 SOUND STAGE, LIKE, 20 HOURS A DAY. 684 00:34:43,848 --> 00:34:45,516 >> Stephen: YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TIME. 685 00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:46,317 YOU'RE IN A BUBBLE. 686 00:34:46,384 --> 00:34:48,419 >> YOU DON'T-- YOU'RE IN A BUBBLE. 687 00:34:48,486 --> 00:34:51,656 YOU DON'T HAVE THE CONCEPT OF YEAH, I GUESS PEOPLE ARE 688 00:34:51,722 --> 00:34:52,523 WATCHING THIS. 689 00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:54,959 17 MILLION PEOPLE WATCHED THE PREMIERE. 690 00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,194 WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 691 00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:57,395 THAT'S JUST A NUMBER. 692 00:34:57,462 --> 00:35:00,298 BUT I THINK THE FIRST TIME I REALIZED WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ON 693 00:35:00,364 --> 00:35:03,401 TELEVISION, LIKE IN PEOPLE'S LIVING ROOMS ALL AROUND THE 694 00:35:03,468 --> 00:35:08,506 WORLD, I WAS TRAVELING, I WAS ON A VAXZ WITH MY-- MY NOW HUSBAND, 695 00:35:08,573 --> 00:35:13,144 THEN BOYFRIEND, WE WERE IN ITALY, AND WE WERE GOING TO 696 00:35:13,211 --> 00:35:16,147 MORANO, WHICH IS A TINY ISLAND WHERE THEY BLOW COLORFUL GLASS. 697 00:35:16,214 --> 00:35:18,382 AND WE WERE LIKE THIS IS SO NICE, WE'RE GETTING AWAY. 698 00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:23,087 AND I WAS ON THIS TINY ISLAND AND THIS WOMAN SAID, "UGLY 699 00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:25,556 BETTY!" AND I WASOV A TINY ISLAND IN 700 00:35:25,623 --> 00:35:27,158 ITALY AND SOMEONE RECOGNIZED ME. 701 00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:29,093 AND I THOUGHT I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 702 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,196 AND, ALSO, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BUY SOME COLORED GLASS NOW, 703 00:35:32,263 --> 00:35:34,699 BECAUSE SHE WAS SUCH A FAN, AND SHE, LIKE, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE 704 00:35:34,765 --> 00:35:36,667 THINK YOU'RE ON TV AND YOU HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. 705 00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:40,671 BUT EVERYTHING SHE SHOWED US WAS LIKE A $20,000 BOSTON TERRIER. 706 00:35:40,738 --> 00:35:45,877 AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT-- SO I LEFT WITH THIS $600 MENORAH. 707 00:35:45,943 --> 00:35:47,745 AND I'M NOT JEWISH! 708 00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:50,181 BUT, LIKE, BUT -- >> Stephen: I BET IT'S LOVELY. 709 00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:51,816 I BET IT'S LOVELY. 710 00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:56,153 >> BUT NOW MENORAH IS MY HUSBAND'S CODE WORD FOR, LIKE, 711 00:35:56,220 --> 00:35:57,355 EJECT. 712 00:35:57,421 --> 00:36:01,526 LIKE, DO NOT GET-- LIKE, DO NOT GET-- DON'T LET THIS PERSON 713 00:36:01,592 --> 00:36:02,693 UPCELL YOU! 714 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:06,230 BUT I DIDN'T WANT THE 20,000 BOSTON TERRIER, SO I WENT FOR 715 00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:10,268 THE MENORAH, AND I GAVE IT TO MY FRIEND, SARAH, WHO SEND ME A 716 00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:11,936 LOVELY PICTURE EVERY HANUKKAH. 717 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,004 >> Stephen: THAT'S LOVELY. 718 00:36:13,070 --> 00:36:14,672 IT HAD A HAPPY ENDING. 719 00:36:14,739 --> 00:36:15,806 >> YEAH. 720 00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:18,809 >> Stephen: YOU'VE BEEN SO POLITICALLY ACTIVE, YOU KNOW, 721 00:36:18,876 --> 00:36:24,282 WORKING TO EMPOWER OTHER LATINOS, AND I'M JUST WONDERING, 722 00:36:24,348 --> 00:36:29,253 LIKE, MANY PEOPLE ARE POLITICALLY ACTIVE IN-- IN 723 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:30,421 VOTING. 724 00:36:30,488 --> 00:36:31,789 HOW DO YOU KEEP THAT GOING BETWEEN THE TIMES WHEN IT'S SORT 725 00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:34,292 OF IN THE PUBLIC CONSCIOUSNESS NOT AS MUCH? 726 00:36:34,358 --> 00:36:37,495 >> YEAH, WELL I THINK THOSE ARE THE TIMES WHEN IT'S THE MOST 727 00:36:37,562 --> 00:36:40,164 IMPORTANT TO ENGAGE COMMUNITIES AND ENGAGE PEOPLE. 728 00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:43,801 BECAUSE, LOOK, I FEEL LIKE I'VE HAD THE EXPERIENCE OF-- I COULD 729 00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:46,537 SET MY CLOCK EVERY TWO MONTHS BEFORE AN ELECTION, YOU KNOW. 730 00:36:46,604 --> 00:36:51,909 PEOPLE THINK IT'S ENOUGH TO, LIKE, PULL OUT "UGLY BETTY" AT A 731 00:36:51,976 --> 00:36:56,914 RALLY AND BE LIKE BUENOS DIAS! 732 00:36:56,981 --> 00:36:58,382 GO OUT AND VOTE." 733 00:36:58,449 --> 00:37:02,186 LIKE THAT'S A WINNIE STRATEGY, AND IT'S NOT, SHOCKER. 734 00:37:02,253 --> 00:37:07,124 AND I THINK WHAT I'VE LEARNED BEING OUT THERE, REGISTERING 735 00:37:07,191 --> 00:37:10,027 PEOPLE TO VOTE, IT'S NOT ABOUT PEOPLE'S VOTE. 736 00:37:10,094 --> 00:37:11,128 IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE'S LIVES. 737 00:37:11,195 --> 00:37:13,664 AND PEOPLE UNDERSTAND WHEN THINGS ARE TRANSACTIONAL AND 738 00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:17,501 YOU'RE JUST THERE TO GET A VOTE A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE A 739 00:37:17,568 --> 00:37:18,469 CAMPAIGN. 740 00:37:18,536 --> 00:37:20,237 COMMUNITIES NEED SUSTAINED ENGAGEMENT. 741 00:37:20,304 --> 00:37:21,439 THEY NEED EDUCATION. 742 00:37:21,505 --> 00:37:25,443 THEY NEED-- THEY NEED TO DEEPLY UNDERSTAND HOW THEIR VOTE IS 743 00:37:25,509 --> 00:37:28,779 TIED TO THEIR LIVES, TO THEIR HEALTH INSURANCE, TO THEIR 744 00:37:28,846 --> 00:37:31,949 EDUCATION, TO THEIR-- TO THEIR NEIGHBORHOODS. 745 00:37:32,016 --> 00:37:35,886 AND I THINK IT'S THE WORK WE DO IN A NONELECTION YEAR THAT 746 00:37:35,953 --> 00:37:37,521 DETERMINES WHAT HAPPENS IN AN ELECTION YEAR. 747 00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:42,293 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YES. 748 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,661 ABSOLUTELY, RIGHT. 749 00:37:43,728 --> 00:37:47,465 AMERICA FERRERA, WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING FOR OFFICE? 750 00:37:47,531 --> 00:37:48,232 >> OH, GOD. 751 00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:53,504 WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING FOR OFFICE? 752 00:37:53,571 --> 00:37:56,173 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE'LL RUN 753 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:56,707 TOGETHER. 754 00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:58,175 WE'LL RUN TOGETHER. 755 00:37:58,242 --> 00:37:58,876 EXACTLY. 756 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,044 BUT COME ON, PRESIDENT AMERICA. 757 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,313 >> IT WRITES ITSELF A LITTLE BIT. 758 00:38:02,380 --> 00:38:03,180 >> Stephen: IT KIND OF DOES. 759 00:38:03,247 --> 00:38:05,349 IT KIND OF DOES. 760 00:38:05,416 --> 00:38:09,520 >> Stephen: YOUR SHOW "GENTIFIED" IS BACK FOR SEASON 761 00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:10,121 TWO. 762 00:38:10,187 --> 00:38:10,821 CONGRATULATIONS FOR THAT. 763 00:38:10,888 --> 00:38:13,658 THAT'S ALWAYS A VERY GOOD FEEL. 764 00:38:13,724 --> 00:38:16,394 ON "GENTIFIED" HERE DIRECTING AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCING. 765 00:38:16,460 --> 00:38:21,832 SO WHAT IS THE SHOW ABOUT AND WHAT CAN WE EXPECT THIS YEAR? 766 00:38:21,899 --> 00:38:27,838 >> "GENTIFIED" IS A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME AS AN EXECUTIVE 767 00:38:27,905 --> 00:38:29,507 PRODUCER AND DIRECTOR. 768 00:38:29,573 --> 00:38:31,542 I DIRECTED EIGHT EPISODES. 769 00:38:31,609 --> 00:38:36,580 THE SHOW IS ABOUT THE MORALES FAMILY IN BOYLE HEIGHTS, A SMALL 770 00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:37,982 MEXICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN LOS ANGELES. 771 00:38:38,049 --> 00:38:41,085 AND IT'S ABOUT THIS FAMILY AND IT'S ABOUT THEIR JOB AND LOVE 772 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:42,253 AND HUMOR. 773 00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:45,389 AND AT THE CENTER OF THIS SEASON-- THE END OF SEASON ONE, 774 00:38:45,456 --> 00:38:46,590 SPOILER ALERT. 775 00:38:46,657 --> 00:38:51,195 GO WATCH IT-- IS THAT POP, WHO WE KNOW AND LOVE WHO THE WHOLE 776 00:38:51,262 --> 00:38:54,598 FAMILY HAS BEEN FIGHTING TO KEEP HIS TACO SHOP OPEN GETS PICKED 777 00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:57,902 UP BY ICE, AND WHEN HIS FAMILY LEARNS THAT HE IS IN FACT 778 00:38:57,968 --> 00:38:59,103 UNDOCUMENTED. 779 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:03,174 SO SEASON TWO IS ABOUT HIM NOT KNOWING WHAT HIS FATE IS GOING 780 00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:04,241 TO BE. 781 00:39:04,308 --> 00:39:14,985 AND POP IS PLAYED BY THE INCOMPARABLE JOAQUIN CARCIO. 782 00:39:15,052 --> 00:39:16,253 HE'S LIKE OUR MARLON BRANDO. 783 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,421 HE'S BRILLIANT. 784 00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:19,657 AND IT'S THIS STORY ABOUT HUMANIZING THE FAMILIES AND THE 785 00:39:19,724 --> 00:39:24,528 LIVES AND THE PEOPLE BEHIND WHAT MOST PEOPLE KNOW AS HEADLINES 786 00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:25,730 AND STATISTICS. 787 00:39:25,796 --> 00:39:30,267 BUT IT'S A COMEDY-DRAMA, AND IT'S HILARIOUS AND HAS STYLE AND 788 00:39:30,334 --> 00:39:35,239 WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH AND CRY, AND I-- FOR ME, IT'S A DREAM COME 789 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:36,440 TRUE. 790 00:39:36,507 --> 00:39:40,044 AS SOMEONE WHO STARTED IN THIS INDUSTRY 20 YEARS AGO AND WAS 791 00:39:40,111 --> 00:39:43,681 ASKED TO SPEAK WITH MORE OF AN ACCENT, AND THERE WEREN'T, YOU 792 00:39:43,748 --> 00:39:46,951 KNOW, ROLES FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME WHEN I BEGAN. 793 00:39:47,017 --> 00:39:52,823 AND SO TO COME FULL CIRCLE 20 YEARS LATER TO TO GET TO CREATE 794 00:39:52,890 --> 00:39:55,292 AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCE AND DIRECT SHOWS THAT CREATE THAT 795 00:39:55,359 --> 00:40:00,731 OPPORTUNITY FOR SO MANY LATINX TALENTED CREATORS IS REALLY A 796 00:40:00,798 --> 00:40:02,032 DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME. 797 00:40:02,099 --> 00:40:03,033 ( APPLAUSE ). 798 00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:05,503 >> Stephen: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SECOND 799 00:40:05,569 --> 00:40:08,172 SEASON. 800 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:09,507 SEASON TWO OF "GENTIFIED" IS ON NETFLIX NOW. 801 00:40:09,573 --> 00:40:11,609 AMERICA FERRERA, EVERYBODY! 802 00:40:11,675 --> 00:40:12,443 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 803 00:40:20,618 --> 00:40:21,685 THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW." EVERYBODY. 804 00:40:21,752 --> 00:40:23,821 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 805 00:40:23,888 --> 00:40:24,955 GOOD NIGHT!