>> HEINZ IS TAKING KETCHUP INTO
THE FUTURE, UNVEILING A NEW MIX USING TOMATOES GROWN AS IF THEY
WERE ON MARS.
THE RESULT: MARZ-- WITH A "Z"-- TOMATOES.
RESEARCHERS AT HEINZ SAY THE EXPERIMENT SHOWS THE POSSIBILITY
OF LONG-TERM FOOD PRODUCTION WHEN HUMANS LIVE ON ANOTHER
PLANET.
>> LOVE KETCHUP AND SPACE?
BUT MARS ISN'T FAR ENOUGH OUT FOR YOU?
INTRODUCING HUNTS URANUS KETCHUP, THE ONLY KETCHUP MADE
WITH TOMATOES GROWN IN THE SAME CONDITIONS AS URANUS.
BECAUSE AT HUNTS, WE REFUSE TO BE OUT-PLANETTED.
YOU HEAR THAT, HEINZ?
IMAGINE MEATLOAF FROM URANUS, OR DIP A FRY IN URANUS.
MMM.
AFTER EVERY BITE, YOU'LL SAY, "I CAN REALLY TASTE URANUS."
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
WHEN YOU WANT TO DRESS UP YOUR FAVORITE MEAL, REACH FOR URANUS.
HUNTS URANUS KETCHUP: PROBABLY THE MOST DELICIOUS THING EVER TO
COME OUT OF URANUS.
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: THAT'S A PRICY MEAT BALL.
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: QUENTIN TARANTINO
AND "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE'S "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE."
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY!
MANUAL, YOU SNUCK UP ON ME THAT TIME!
WOOO!
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THIS IS VERY NICE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IN HERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD.
WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, A PERSONAL QUESTION: HOW IS
EVERYBODY DOING TONIGHT?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WRONG.
YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY: NORTH AMERICAN BEEF PRICES ARE
SOARING.
WE'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE TO SWITCH TO SOMETHING WITHOUT
MEAT, LIKE TACO BELL.
( LAUGHTER ) THERE'S ONE VEGAN HERE TONIGHT.
ONE.
I WILL FIND YOU!
BEEF IS YET ANOTHER PRODUCT AFFECTED BY SUPPLY CHAIN ISSUES.
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT'S "CARGO UNCHAINED:
HIGH STEAKS EDITION."
>> WHERE'S THE BEEF?
NO, SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS IT?
>> Stephen: HERE'S WHAT'S GOING ON, FOLKS.
SINCE THE PANDEMIC, DEMAND FOR MEAT TO COOK AT HOME IS WAY UP,
WHILE MEAT PRODUCERS ARE FACING ESCALATING COSTS IN LABOR, RAW
MATERIALS, AND TRANSPORTATION.
SO, EVERYTHING.
THAT'S LIKE A DOCTOR TELLING YOU, "MR. WILSON, YOUR TESTS
CAME BACK, AND EVERYTHING'S FINE, EXCEPT YOUR SKIN, YOUR
BONES, AND YOUR ORGANS."
( LAUGHTER ) WITH DEMAND AND COSTS BOTH UP,
IN THE PAST YEAR, PRICES FOR SIRLOIN, BONELESS CHUCK ROAST,
AND BACON HAVE JUMPED BY ABOUT 25%, A PHENOMENON EXPERTS ARE
CALLING "MEATFLATION."
ALSO THE NAME OF MY SHORT-LIVED MEAT-THEMED BALLOON COMPANY.
( LAUGHTER ) MEATFLATION IS ALSO HITTING OUR
FRIENDS NORTH OF THE BORDER.
IN CANADA, A RIB ROAST CAN SET YOU BACK $100.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS!
$100!
THE ONLY HUNK OF CANADIAN MEAT WORTH THAT MUCH IS RYAN GOSLING.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IS HE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) STICK AROUND TO FIND OUT.
NOW, I'M SURE SOME OF YOU ARE SAYING, "STEVE, WHAT'S THE BIG
DEAL?
WHY NOT JUST EAT SOMETHING OTHER THAN MEAT?"
SHUT UP.
( LAUGHTER ) MEAT IS JUST THE RIB TIP OF THE
ICEBERG HERE.
PRICES ARE ALSO GOING UP FOR EVERYTHING FROM COOKING OIL TO
DAIRY, AND THE PRICE OF MAKING PIZZA IS SOARING, FORCING NEW
YORK PIZZA SHOPS TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE POPULAR $1 SLICE.
IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD THAT PIZZA RAT CAN ONLY AFFORD GARLIC
KNOTS.
( LAUGHTER ) AND AMERICANS ARE NOT HAPPY
ABOUT THIS.
IN THE LATEST "USA TODAY/SUFFOLK UNIVERSITY/
SMUCKERS GOOBER GRAPE POLL, JOE BIDEN'S APPROVAL RATING HAS
FALLEN TO "A NEW LOW OF 38%."
>> 38% AIN'T SO BAD, JACK.
WHY, I REMEMBER BACK WHEN 38 WAS THE HIGHEST PERCENT THAT
EXISTED.
THEN OL' PATTY NUMBERTON CAME OUT AND SAID, 'HEY, FELLAS, WHAT
ABOUT 39?' AND WE ALL SAID, 'THAT'S THE
GREATEST IDEA SINCE SLICED BREAD.'
AND THEN WE ALL WENT, 'YEAH, WHY DON'T WE START SLICIN' BREAD?'
I'M TIRED OF CHOKING ON A LOAF!
NO, I'M SERIOUS FOLKS."
THE POLL-- I'M BACK.
THE POLL DID HAVE ONE BIT OF GOOD NEWS FOR BIDEN: HE'S NOT
KAMALA HARRIS.
BECAUSE THE SAME POLL SHOWED HER APPROVAL RATING AT 28%, A RECORD
LOW FOR A MODERN VICE PRESIDENT.
AT 28%, HARRIS' RATING WAS EVEN LOWER THAN THE THE PERCENT FOR
KICK CHENEY.
MEANING TO IMPROVE HER POPULARITY SHE SHOULD CONSIDER
SHOOTING SOMEONE IN THE FACE.
IN A SEPARATE CNN POLL, THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS ARE SAYING
BIDEN ISN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO THE NATION'S MOST IMPORTANT
ISSUES.
HE NEEDS TO CHANGE HIS SLOGAN FROM "BUILD BACK BETTER," TO WE
HAVE THE MEAT.
WELL, I FOR ONE-- I FOR ONE-- YOU GOTTA TRY.
( APPLAUSE ) I, FOR ONE, CARE ABOUT
POPULARITY.
THAT'S WHY THIS SHOW IS LASER FOCUSED ON THE ONE ISSUE
AMERICANS REALLY CARE ABOUT: WHO IS "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE'S
"SEXIEST MAN ALIVE 2021"?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) G>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE, NOW IS NOT
THE TIME.
I'M GOING TO REVEAL THAT LATER IN THE SHOW.
COULD IT BE... ME?
( LAUGHTER ) STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.
SPEAKING OF SEXY MEN AND DEMOCRATS, THERE'S SOME NEWS
ABOUT FORMER PRESIDENT AND MAN GIVING YOU HEALTHCARE WITH HIS
EYES...
( APPLAUSE ) BARACK OBAMA.
OBAMA IS IN GLASGOW FOR COP26, AND IN A SPEECH YESTERDAY, HE
REFERRED TO SCOTLAND AS "THE EMERALD ISLES," WHICH IS
ACTUALLY THE NICKNAME FOR THEN OBAMA TOPPED HIS GAFFE WITH
A DOLLOP OF OOPS: >> SINCE WE'RE IN THE EMERALD
ISLES HERE, LET ME QUOTE THE BARD, WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
>> Stephen: SO HE CALLED SCOTLAND IRELAND, AND THEN
QUOTED AN ENGLISHMAN.
AT LEAST WE DON'T NEED TO CHECK HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE, BECAUSE
THAT IS THE MOST AMERICAN MOVE EVER.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
THE SCOTTS-- THANK YOU.
THE SCOTS WERE A LITTLE UPSET OBAMA QUOTED SHAKESPEARE INSTEAD
OF SCOTLAND'S BARD, ROBERT BURNS.
YES, WHY DIDN'T HE PICK ROBERT BURNS?
BURNS' WORDS JUST ROLL OFF THE TONGUE:
( WITH SCOTTISH ACCENT ) "O, WAD SOME POWER THE GIFTIE
GIE US TO SEE OURSELS AS OTHERS SEE US!
IT WAD FRAE MONIE A BLUNDER FREE US,
AN' FOOLISH NOTION."
PRETTY SURE-- ( APPLAUSE )
PRETTY SURE THAT'S ABOUT CARBON CLIMATE CHANGE.
MEANWHILE, STATESIDE, IN CONGRESS, THEY'RE STILL FOCUSED
ON WHO TRIED TO KILL EVERYONE IN CONGRESS.
THE JANUARY 6 COMMITTEE IS GOING AFTER THE FOLKS WHO PLANNED TO
OVERTURN THE ELECTION, AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP ROUNDUP: "CONGRESSIONAL
EDITION."
>> THESE NEIGH-O NAZIS ARE UN-STABLE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, HORSEY.
THE BIG HEADLINE IS THAT THE JANUARY 6 COMMITTEE HAS ISSUED
SIX SUBPOENAS TO THE EX-PRESIDENT'S TOP CAMPAIGN
ASSOCIATES, A COLLECTION OF POWERFUL DUMB-DUMBS WHO HELPED
ORCHESTRATE THE LAST-DITCH EFFORTS TO STEAL THE ELECTION, A
HIGH-STAKES, LOW-I.Q. HEIST ON DEMOCRACY, STARRING PARDONED
CRIMINAL MICHAEL FLYNN, A.K.A., GENERAL GRUMPY PANTS.
PARDONED CRIMINAL BERNIE KERIK: THE SCALP.
DISCRACED LAWYER JOHN EASTMAN: THE ACCESSORIZER.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER BILL STEPIEN: BLAND MASTER FLASH.
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT ANGELA McCALLUM, THE SPARE TIFFANY.
AND'RE AND STEPHEN MILLER AS THE HONEY TRAP.
THESE TRADER JOES WAS HUDDLE TOGETHER IN A SET OF ROOMS AND
SUITES IN THE POSH WILLARD HOTEL IN DOWNTOWN D.C.
THEIR ROOM BAR TAB MUST'VE BEEN HUGE.
IT'S, LIKE, 20 BUCKS A POP FOR THOSE MINI MOLOTOV COCKTAILS.
( LAUGHTER ) THESE GUYS DID ANYTHING THEY
COULD TO STOP BIDEN FROM TAKING OFFICE, INCLUDING PUTTING
PRESSURE ON MIKE PENCE TO DELAY OR EVEN BLOCK CERTIFICATION OF
THE ELECTION.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
PENCE IS A MASTER OF WITHSTANDING PEER PRESSURE.
EVEN IN HIGH SCHOOL, HIS FRIENDS COULDN'T GET HIM TO EXPERIMENT
WITH UN-GARTERED SOCKS: "NO, THANK YOU.
ELASTIC IS THE DEVIL'S REACH-AROUND."
( LAUGHTER ) THE COMMITTEE IS ESPECIALLY
INTERESTED IN MICHAEL FLYNN, BECAUSE HE PUBLICLY CALLED FOR
THE MILITARY TO INTERVENE AND SEIZE VOTING MACHINES, AND
ENCOURAGED THE PRESIDENT TO IMPOSE MARTIAL LAW TO FORCE NEW
ELECTIONS IN BATTLEGROUND STATES.
SENDING IN THE U.S. ARMY TO CHANGE THE RESULTS OF AN
ELECTION IS NOT SOMETHING THIS COUNTRY DOES.
IN NORTH AMERICA.
AND THE THREAT FROM THESE CLOWNS IS NOT OVER.
HERE'S ONE OF THEM, JOHN EASTMAN-- THE CROOKED LAWYER WHO
SHOULD BE DISBARRED BEFORE I FINISH THIS SENTENCE-- JUST TWO
WEEKS AGO SPREADING THE LIE THAT THE JANUARY 6 INSURRECTION WAS
AN INSIDE JOB: >> THE WHOLE THING WAS A SETUP.
I MEAN, IT WAS A SETUP.
JOHN SULLIVAN, ANTIFA GUY, GOT PAID 60,000 BUCKS BY CNN TO
BREAK IN AND GET VIDEO EVIDENCE OF VIOLENCE.
>> Stephen: YES, CNN ORGANIZED THE INSURRECTION.
EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHEN THE SENATE CHAMBER WAS PRESIDED OVER
BY THE WOLF SHAMAN.
( AS WOLF BLITZER ) "ANDERSON, I'M BREAKING IN NOW.
STOP THE STEAL."
THEN, THIS AFTERNOON, THE JANUARY 6 COMMITTEE ISSUED 10
MORE SUBPOENAS.
ONE MORE, AND THEY GET A FREE SUB...POENA.
BECAUSE THERE'S GOING TO BE WAY MORE SUBPOENAS AFTER THIS.
SO, WHO'S IN THE FRESH BATCH?
WELL, DOES THE NAME KENNETH KLUKOWSKI MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THAT IS.
I THINK HE'S ONE OF THE MONSTERS FROM "MONSTERS INC."
I DO RECOGNIZE ONE PERSON BEING SUMMONED TO CAPITOL HILL:
SENIOR ADVISOR, STEPHEN MILLER.
WHICH IS SURPRISING.
I THOUGHT HE COULD ONLY BE SUMMONED BY SACRIFICING A GOAT.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS QUENTIN TARANTINO.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL REVEAL "PEOPLE'S" "SEXIEST MAN
ALIVE."
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, AS I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THE LAST COUPLE DAYS,
RIGHT NOW, THERE IS ONE MAJOR QUESTION ON ABSOLUTELY
EVERYONE'S MINDS: WHO WILL BE "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE'S "SEXIEST MAN
ALIVE" FOR 2021?
IN THESE DIVIDED TIMES, IT'S THE LAST THING THAT ALL AMERICANS
CARE ABOUT.
SO, OF COURSE, THERE HAS BEEN RAMPANT SPECULATION IN THE
SEXINESS MARKETS.
ON THURSDAY, THE "NEW YORK POST" REPORTED THAT THE TITLE WOULD GO
TO CHRIS EVANS.
SIMULTANEOUSLY, DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON CLAIMED IT WAS
HIS, SAYING HE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.
( LAUGHTER ) WHICH, OF COURSE, RAISES THE
QUESTION: WILL THESE TWO HAVE TO FIGHT FOR THE TITLE?
AND, IF SO, WILL THEY GET ALL SWEATY AND KIND OF WRESTLE?
THAT MIGHT BE SEXY.
WELL, ALL THE SPECULATION ENDS TONIGHT, BECAUSE IT IS MY
DISTINCT HONOR TO HAVE BEEN CHOSEN BY THE GOOD PEOPLE AT
"PEOPLE" TO BE THE OFFICIAL PERSON TO ANNOUNCE THIS YEAR'S
"SEXIEST MAN ALIVE"!
IT IS NOT A RESPONSIBILITY I TAKE LIGHTLY.
AS AN OFFICIAL SEXINESS ADJUDICATOR, I RAN A THOROUGH
AND COMPREHENSIVE SCIENTIFIC EVALUATION ON DOZENS OF
POTENTIALLY TOP SEXY LIVING MALES.
AND TONIGHT, WE PRESENT A BEHIND-THE-SCENES GLIMPSE OF ONE
OF THOSE CANDIDATES.
JIM?
HELP ME, MATTHEW.
( LAUGHTER ) AMY, PLEASE SEND IN MY 11:00
SEXY MAN.
>> HI.
>> Stephen: UH, EXCUSE ME.
I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG ROOM.
THIS IS "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE."
( APPLAUSE ) >> OH, NO.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
>> Stephen: CONFIDENCE.
THAT'S SEXY.
HAVE A SEAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: AND YOUR NAME IS?
>> UH, PAUL RUDD.
>> Stephen: UH, PAUL RUDD, PAUL RUDD, PAUL RUDD...
I DON'T-- I DON'T SEE THAT.
I HAVE A RAUL PUDD?
>> THAT'S PROBABLY A TYPO.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
CORRECTING "PEOPLE," NOT SEXY.
STRIKE AGAINST.
>> BUT NO, YOU FEEL FREE TO CALL ME RAUL PUDD,
ANYTHING IS FINE.
>> Stephen: FLEXIBILITY, THAT IS SEXY.
OKAY, WE'RE BACK IN THE BLACK.
UH, LETS GET STARTED, PAUL.
ARE YOU READY TO BE SWORN IN?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND AND PUT YOUR LEFT HAND ON
THE PHOTO OF YOUR OWN FACE.
>> UH...
>> Stephen: DID YOU BRING A HEADSHOT?
>> I COULD JUST USE MY OWN FACE?
>> Stephen: YES, OKAY.
I DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR.
>> I DO SOLEMLY SWEAR.
>> Stephen: TO GIVE THE SEXIEST ANSWERS I CAN.
>> TO GIVE THE SEXIEST ANSWERS I CAN.
>> Stephen: TO BE A MAN.
>> TO BE A MAN.
>> Stephen: AND STAY ALIVE.
>> AND STAY ALIVE.
>> Stephen: SO HELP ME McCONAUGHAY.
>> SO HELP ME McCONAUGHAY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.
YOU'RE READY.
WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT YOU KNEW THAT YOU WERE SEXY?
>> I GUESS, LIKE, WHEN I WAS...
WHEN I WAS A BABY.
I THINK A BABY.
BUT IT WAS-- I WAS A BABY.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SEXY WAS.
I JUST FELT DIFFERENT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, HOW SO?
>> WELL, I HAD A-- I WORE A THONG DIAPER.
MY DIAPER WAS A THONG.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> UM, AND I KNEW THAT THE OTHER KIDS DIDN'T DO THAT.
BUT LOOKING BACK, OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S VERY SEXY, BUT I JUST
THOUGHT IT WAS...
FRENCH.
>> Stephen: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
WHEN IT COMES TO SEXINESS, WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS?
>> OH, BOY, UH... WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAVE-- I HAVE A WEIRD FOOT.
I SUFFER FROM A THING CALLED BIG PINKY.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THAT?
>> WELL, UM...
( LAUGHTER ) I HOPE THAT DOESN'T COUNT
AGAINST ME.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT?
ONE POINT FOR HONESTY.
THAT'S VULNERABILITY.
LETS LOOK AT SOME OF YOUR SEXY WORK EXPERIENCE.
DID YOU BRING A RESUME?
>> I DID.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> CALVIN KLEIN.
>> Stephen: OH, CALVIN KLEIN PERFUME?
>> UH, NO, NO.
I JUST, I JUST RUBBED MY UNDERWEAR ON IT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT
"CLUELESS."
UM, YOU WERE THE LOVE INTEREST THERE, BUT YOU'RE HER BROTHER.
>> WELL, STEP-BROTHER.
>> Stephen: OKAY, PAUL?
THIS IS "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE," NOT PORNIEST MAN ALIVE.
>> IT WAS BASED ON JANE AUSTEN.
>> Stephen: PORN.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY, ARE YOU LACTOSE INTOLERANT?
>> NO, BUT I'M WILLING TO TRY.
OF WHAT DO YOU SEE THAT'S IN COMMON?
>> THEY'RE ALL KIND OF CASUALLY RECLINING.
>> Stephen: POSTURE.
CAN I SEE YOU SLUMP?
SHOW ME-- SHOW ME A SEXY SLUMP.
>> SURE THING.
UM....
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: CAN I GET YOU TO STAND IN FRONT OF THAT
SILHOUETTE FOR A SECOND PLEASE?
THANK YOU.
MHM, MHM.
CAN YOU TURN AROUND PLEASE?
TURN AROUND PLEASE.
STAY THE SAME LEVEL STAY THE SAME HEIGHT.
STAY DOWN THERE.
TURN AROUND.
VERY SLOWLY.
SLOWLY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> SORRY.
THIS IS GOOD?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
LET'S DO A QUICK WORD-- >> SORRY.
>> Stephen: WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN.
I THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE.
PAUL, CARDS ON THE TABLE, I'M IMPRESSED SO FAR.
YOU'RE PRESENTING VERY SEXUALLY MENTALLY, AT LEAST.
AND NOT EVERYONE KNOWS THIS, BUT THERE IS A CERTAIN PHYSICAL
COMPONENT TO "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE" AS WELL.
ARE YOU READY FOR AN EXAMINATION?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: LET'S DO IT.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: GET UP SEXY, GET UP SEXY.
GET UP SEXY, PLEASE.
THAT'S IT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WOW.
WHAT A ROLLER COASTER RIDE.
( APPLAUSE ) MY HEART IS POUNDING.
AND I KNOW WHAT'S COMING.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STICK AROUND, BECAUSE WHEN WE COME
BACK, I RUN PAUL THROUGH HIS SEXY PACES.
YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO SEE THIS.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
IF YOU'RE JUST JOINING US, WE ARE TANK OUR ONGOING COVERAGE OF
2021'S "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE."
WHEN WE LEFT OFF, PAUL RUDD PROVED HE HAD THE MIND TO BE
SEXY.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE THING HE CARRIES HIS MIND AROUND IN-- HIS
BODY.
JIM?
>> Stephen: STEP TWO WAS BRING PAUL RUDD INTO "THE LATE SHOW'S"
SEXINESS LAB FOR A FULL RUNDOWN.
AGE?
>> 52.
( LAUGHS ) >> Stephen: SENSE OF HUMOR.
VERY SEXY.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO AN ORAL EXAM.
SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU PUT ONE FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH.
TWO FINGERS?
( LAUGHTER ) CAN YOU GET THE WHOLE FIST IN
THERE?
( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU.
OKAY.
YEAH, I UNDERSTAND.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: OKAY, LET ME CHECK OUT THOSE EYES, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT?
PICK A SPOT ON THE WALL.
OKAY.
MHM, MHM, MHM.
YEAH, THOSE ARE DREAMY.
THOSE ARE DREAMY.
WELL, PAUL, I THINK YOU MIGHT NEED GLASSES.
>> REALLY?
IS MY VISION BAD?
>> Stephen: NO, I JUST THINK THEY MIGHT BE SEXY.
HERE, TRY THESE ON.
WOW, WOW.
I REALLY WISH I COULD SEE YOU RIGHT NOW.
MAY I?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: MHM.
YEAH, OH, YEAH.
YEAH, OPE-- YEAH, YOU DO SEEM SMARTER.
THAT IS SEXY >> Stephen: PAUL WAS CLEARLY IN
GOOD PHYSICAL SHAPE, BUT DID HE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE BEST IN
BREED?
ALL RIGHT, HOP UP.
UP, UP, UP, UP, UP.
PACE, PACE, PACE.
THAT'S GOOD.
ALL RIGHT.
SIT PROUD.
CHIN UP.
OKAY, HAUNCHES, HAUNCHES.
HAUNCHES.
BACK, BACK.
THAT'S GOOD.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S CHECK THOSE TEETH AND GUMS.
THERE YOU GO.
OKAY, LET'S CHECK YOUR COAT.
LET'S CHECK YOUR COAT.
THAT'S GOOD.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
AND... GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, AND ARMS.
AND THAT'S GOOD.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
AND LEGS, AND LEGS.
AND HOLD IT.
THAT'S GOOD.
ALL RIGHT.
SHAKE IT SEXY.
GOOD BOY.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S GOOD, ALL RIGHT.
LEAVE IT.
WAIT.
EYES.
OKAY.
THAT'S GOOD.
COME ON, BACK IT UP.
BACK IT, BACK IT, BACK IT UP.
BACK IT UP LIKE A TONKA TRUCK.
OKAY.
SHOW ME THE BADONKADONK.
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
FOLLOW ME.
BACK IT UP.
WHO'S A SEXY BOY?
>> ME!
PAUL WAS A SEXY BOY.
BUT IT WAS TIME TO SEE IF HIS SEXINESS COULD SHOW UP ON CAMERA
WITH A SEDUCTIVE PHOTOSHOOT.
TRY TO IMAGINE DRILLING AND SCREWING AS A METAPHOR FOR SEX.
THAT'S IT.
TURN ON.
TURN IT ON.
IF YOU CAN'T TURN THE SANDER ON, YOU CAN'T TURN PEOPLE ON.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE METAPHOR?
>> YEAH, I DO.
>> Stephen: CAN YOU HIT THAT NOTE?
AH, I'M UP HERE!
HARMONIZE WITH IT!
>> AH!
>> Stephen: AH!
THAT'S IT, YES!
YES.
>> Stephen: ANYONE CAN MAKE CONSTRUCTION WORKER LOOK SEXY.
SO I GAVE PAUL A REAL CHALLENGE.
YOU'RE A MONK.
SAY SOMETHING SEXY.
NO, YOU HAVE A VOW OF SILENCE, DON'T MAKE ANY NOISE.
DANCE FOR THE LORD.
♪ ♪ ♪ STROKE THE ROPE.
THAT'S IT.
FIGHT-- FIGHT THE ROPE.
FIGHT THE ROPE, LOSE, LOSE, LOSE.
MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE ROPE.
APOLOGIZE.
KISS THE ROPE.
KISS IT.
♪ ♪ ♪ AND KNEEL, AND KNEEL.
CRY, BUT NOT WITH YOUR EYES.
EVERYWHERE ELSE BUT YOUR EYES.
YOUR EYES ARE STILL HAPPY.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS SAD.
YOUR BODY'S SAD, FACE IS HAPPY.
ONE HALF OF YOUR MOUTH IS SAD.
TOP'S SAD, BOTTOM'S HAPPY.
FINALLY, PAUL HAD TO LAND THE SEXIEST LOOK OF ALL-- THE
SLOW-MOTION WATER SHOT.
OVER THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD, LET IT POUR DOWN YOUR FACE.
AND THEN JUST WHISPER, "HELP ME I'M DROWNING."
>> HELP ME-- HELP ME.
I'M DROWNING.
IT'S COLD.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU DROWNING IN?
>> COLD WATER.
>> Stephen: NO, SEXINESS.
>> SEXY WATER.
>> Stephen: LOOK AT ME AND SAY, "HELP ME.
I'M DROWNING IN SEXINESS."
>> HELP ME.
I'M DROWNING IN S-SEX-SEXINESS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT.
>> SEXINESS.
>> Stephen: LOOK AT ME.
RIGHT OVER HERE.
OKAY.
>> HELP ME.
I'M DROWNING IN SEXINESS.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: LOOK UP.
OKAY.
YOU GOTTA WANT IT.
DON'T YOU WANT IT?
>> I WANT IT.
DO YOU WANT IT?
>> I WANT IT.
>> Stephen: PUT YOUR HEAD IN THE WATER AND STOP BREATHING.
>> Stephen: AND WITH THAT, THE TEST WAS COMPLETE, AND THE
SCIENCE WAS IN.
PAUL, SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING.
UH, I JUST GOT THE RESULTS BACK FROM THE LAB AND UM...
LOOK, THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO SAY THIS.
YOU TESTED NEGATIVE FOR SEXY.
I'M SORRY.
>> I'M NOT SURPRISED.
IT'S OKAY.
I GET IT.
MAKES SENSE.
UM, I APPRECIATE YOU FOR JUST GIVING ME A SHOT, HONESTLY.
AND, UH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING WHO YOU PICK, BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S JUST
GOING TO BE GREAT.
>> Stephen: THANKS, PAUL.
>> THANK YOU.
WHY ARE YOU SLOW CLAPPING?
WHY ARE YOU ALL SLOW CLAPPING?
WHY ARE YOU SPEEDING UP?
>> Stephen: DON'T YOU SEE, PAUL?
THERE'S NOTHING SEXIER THAN HUMILITY!
THAT WAS THE LAST TEST!
AND YOU PASSED, PAUL.
YOU PASSED!
>> WAIT, YOU MEAN THAT...
>> Stephen: YOU'RE SEXY!
>> I'M... I'M SEXY?
>> Stephen: PAUL, YOU'RE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!
>> I'M THE SEXIET MAN ALIVE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> HELP ME.
HELP ME.
GET HIM UP.
>> I'M SEXY.
I'M THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE?
>> Stephen: YOU'RE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!
>> I'M THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) I'M THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS TO PAUL RUDD ON OFFICIALLY-- AND
THIS IS TRUE-- BEING NAMED "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE'S "SEXIEST MAN
ALIVE 2021"!
AND I AM HONORED TO GIVE THE EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE OF PAUL
RUDD'S "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE" COVER.
TAKE A LOOK!
THERE YOU GO!
FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO people.com.
AND YOU CAN PICK UP THIS WEEK'S "EXIEST MAN ALIVE" ISSUE ON
NEWSSTANDS THIS FRIDAY!
OR PICK UP THIS LIMITED EDITION COVER I WILL BE SELLING IN THE
ALLEY BEHIND THE THEATER AFTER THE SHOW.
OUR THANKS TO PAUL RUDD.
SEE MORE OF HIM AND HIS SEXINESS WHEN HE'S A GUEST ON "THE LATE
SHOW" THIS COMING MONDAY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SEXY RUNNER-UP QUENTIN TARANTINO!
PAUL RUDD IS "THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE"!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACADEMY
AWARD-WINNING FILMMAKER WHOSE MOVIES INCLUDE "PULP FICTION,"
"KILL BILL," AND "ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD."
HE HAS NOW WRITTEN HIS FIRST NOVEL.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," QUENTIN TARANTINO!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> THE STANDING "O" FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T LOOKING.
>> Stephen: QUENTIN TARANTINO GETS THE STANDING "O."
SIR, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
A LOT HAS HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE SINCE I LAST SAW YOU.
YOU GOT MARRIED, YOU HAD A KID.
YOU HAVE ALSO WRITTEN YOUR FIRST NOVEL.
THIS IS-- >> BAM!
>> Stephen: IT IS A NOVELIZATION OF YOUR MOVIE "ONCE
UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD."
NOW, FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT A NOVELIVATION IS-- I
READ A BUNCH OF THEM WHEN I WAS A KID.
A BIG ALLEN KING FOSTER FAN, "STAR WARS" AND THE "ALIEN"
SERIES.
WHAT ARE THEY?
AND HOW DID YOU GET INTO THEM?
>> IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE NOVELIZATIONS WERE THE FIRST
ADULT NOVELS THAT I BOUGHT MYSELF WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU GO INTO THE THE DRUGSTORE OR THE
7-ELEVEN, OR WHATEVER IT WAS, AND THERE WAS THE COMIC BOOK
SPINNER RACK, AND THAT'S WHERE I ALWAYS WENT TO.
BUT NEXT TO IT WAS THE PAPER BACK SPINNER RACK.
AND AT SOME POINT, THE PAPERBACK SPINNER RACK DREW ME AWAY FROM
THE COMIC BOOK SPINNER RACK.
AND THE FIRST NOVELIZATION I BOUGHT WAS A NOVELIZATION FOR
THE BURT REYNOLDS MOVIE "W.W.
AND THE DIXIE DANCE KINGS."
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> WHICH WAS WRITTEN BY ITS SCREENWRITER, THOMAS RICKMAN.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
>> WHO LATER WON AN OSCAR FOR WRITING THE SCREENPLAY FOR "COAL
MINER'S DAUGHTER."
I READ THAT NOVELIZATION, AND I LOVED IT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS FANTASTIC.
AND THAT GOT-- SET ME ON A WHOLE THING OF READING NOVELIZATIONS.
NOW, IT WAS INTERESTING, THOUGH, I DIDN'T SEE "W.W. AND THE DIXIE
DANCE KINGS" WHEN IT CAME OUT.
TWO YEARS LATER-- MOVIES HUNG AROUND AT LEAST AS THE LOWER
HALF OF DOUBLE FEATURES FOR A LONG TIME BACK THEN.
I LOVED THIS BOOK AND HAD READ IT THREE TIMES ALREADY.
IT WAS PLAYING AT A THEATER IN THE LOWER HALF OF A DOUBLE
FEATURE SO I WENT AND SAW IT.
AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT ANYWHERE NEAR AS MUCH AS I LIKED THE
NOVELIZATION.
THEN WHEN THOMAS RICKMAN WON THE OSCAR FOR "COAL MINER'S
DAUGHTER," THEY DID AN INTERVIEW WITH HIM AND ASKED HIM HOW HE
GOT STARTED.
HE SAID, "THE FIRST SCRIPT I WROTE THAT GOT MADE WAS A MOVIE
CALLED "W.W. AND THE DIXIE DANCE KINGS," BUT I THOUGHT THEY
REALLY MESSED IT UP.
BUT THEN THEY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO WRITE THE
NOVELIZATION, AND I SAID YES.
AND I SAID YES BECAUSE I THOUGHT, WELL AT LEAST ONE
PERSON WILL KNOW WHAT I INTENDED.
I'M THAT ONE PERSON!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: OKAY.
THAT'S A GREAT STORY.
BUT IT RAISES-- WELL, THAT RAISES A VERY INTERESTING
QUANDARY HERE IS THAT YOU WROTE "ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD,"
AND YOU DIRECTED "ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD," AND YOU
STILL FEEL THAT QUENTIN TARANTINO DIDN'T GET IT WRITE,
SO YOU DECIDED TO NOVELIZE?
THEN WHY WRITE IT.
>> WHY I WROTE THIS, SOME TIME IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF OR
SO-- I I GUESS TWO YEARS-- I STARTED THINKING ABOUT THOSE
NOVELIZATIONS THAT I GREW UP READING.
I STILL HAD THEM ALL.
SO I GOT THEM ALL TOGETHER, AND WE HAD A LITTLE TEA PARTY-- WE
GOT THEM ALL TOGETHER, AND THEN I STARTED READING SOME OF THE
ONES I LIKED BEFORE, AND I LIKED THEM JUST AS MUCH AS DITHEN, AND
I STARTED READING SOME OF THE ONES I BOUGHT THAT I NEVER GOT
READING.
AND I THOUGHT I KNOW THIS IS A DEBASED GENRE OF LITERATURE BUT
I'M ALL ABOUT DEBASED GENRES OF ART THAT PEOPLE DON'T RESPECT.
AND I WAS LIKE THESE ARE FUN, THESE ARE REALLY, REALLY FUN.
I SHOULD DO ONE OF THESE.
MY INITIAL THOUGHT WAS TO DO A NOVELIZATION OF "RESERVOIR
DOGS."
>> Stephen: AND JUST WORK THROUGH.
>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT LET ME START WITH ONE.
I THOUGHT "RESERVOIR DOGS."
AND I WROTE TWO CHAPTERS.
AND PART OF THE REASON I THOUGHT THE "RESERVOIR DOGS" WOULD BE
GOOD, THERE'S A CRIME AND MYSTERY SECTION IN EVERY BOOK
STORE.
THEN I WAS WRITING AND THOUGHT WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT AM I DOING?
MY LAST MOVIE WAS "ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD."
PEOPLE SEEMED TO LIKE IT.
IT WAS A SUCCESS.
PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THOSE CHARACTERS.
AND I HAVE A TON OF MATERIAL THAT I COULD NEVER PUT IN THE
MOVIE.
SO WHY -- >> Stephen: WHY DO YOU HAVE A
TON OF MATERIAL THAT CAN NEVER FIT IN THE MOVIE?
>> BECAUSE THE MOVIE IS ONLY SO MUCH-- IT CAN ONLY BE SO LONG.
I HAD A TON OF STUFF, BUT WHEN YOU PUT IT INTO A MOVIE, IT'S
GOT TO -- >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK.
DON'T GO ANYWHERE, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE QUENTIN
TARANTINO, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF THE NEW NOVEL "ONCE UPON A TIME
IN HOLLYWOOD," MR. QUENTIN TARANTINO.
I WANT TO ASK YOU, AS LONG AS I HAVE A MOVIE MASTER AROUND HERE
AND A GUY WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT MOVIES AND WE MIGHT ENJOY A FEW
MOVIES IN COMMON.
DO YOU HAVE ANY FAVORITE ADAPTATIONS.
I DO.
AND I WANTED TO ASK YOU.
I'M A HUGE FAN OF THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY OR NOVELLA OF "THE
THING."
>> "WHO GOES THERE."
>> Stephen: DO YOU ENJOY THE THING?
>> I LOVE BOTH OF THEM.
I LOVE HOWARD HAWK'S IS THE THING, AND JOHN CARPENTER'S THE
THING.
>> Stephen: I LOVE JOHN CARPENTER'S "THE THING" BECAUSE
IT EXPLORES THE BEAST.
AND IN AN ANALOG, WAY, TOO.
>> THE EFFECTS IN THAT MOVIE ARE SOME OF THE GREATEST PRACTICAL
SPECIAL EFFECTS EVER PUT ON A MOVIE THEATER SCREEN.
NO, IT'S ONE OF THE GREAT-- I THINK IT'S ONE OF THE GREATEST
HORROR MOVIES EVER MADE, IF NOT ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIES EVER
MADE.
>> Stephen: I COMPLETELY AGREE.
IT IS MY HAPPY PLACE.
IF THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG IN MY LIFE, I GO W5U67 IT.
IF MY KIDS SEE MY WATCHING "THE THING," THEY ASK IF EVERYTHING
IS OKAY.
IT'S A WEIRD HAPPY PLACE, BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL ADAPTATION OF
THE FEELING OF THE NOVELLA.
>> ACTUALLY, ONE OF THE REASONS "THE THING" HOLDS A SPECIAL
PLACE IN MY HEART, IS I LOVE HORROR MOVIES.
I'M A BIG HORROR FAN.
I DON'T GET SCARED AT HORROR MOVIES.
I RESPOND TO SUSPENSE, WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT.
AND I CAN JUMP AT A BOO SCARE.
BUT THAT'S NOT TERROR.
I DON'T GET SCARED IN MOVIES.
"THE THING" I GOT SCARED IN.
AND I WAS SCARED AND IT MADE ME WANT TO PUT IT UNDER A
MICROSCOPE ABOUT WHY I WAS ACTUALLY FRIGHTENED DURING THAT
MOVIE.
AND I THINK THE REASON IS THIS, IS BECAUSE IF YOU KNOW THE
MOVIE, PART OF THE SITUATION IS THESE MEN ARE TRAPPED IN THIS
SITUATION IN THIS ARCTIC RESEARCH CENTER.
AND SO, ONE OR MORE OF THEM ARE POSSIBLY THIS THING THAT'S GOING
TO DEVOUR ALL OF THEM, AND NO ONE KNOWS IF YOU ARE THE GUY
I'VE KNOWN FOREVER OR YOU ARE THE THING.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
>> THE MOVIE MAKES THE PARANOIA OF THAT SO PALPABLE, SO REAL,
IT'S LIKE-- IT'S ALMOST LIKE ANOTHER CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE,
JUST THE SHEER PARANOIA OF IT.
>> Stephen: YES, EXACTLY.
>> BUT THEY'RE TRAPPED IN THANT ARCTIC.
THEY'RE SHAPPED IN THIS SHELTER.
SO THE PARANOIA IS BOUNCING OFF OF THE FOUR WALLS, BOUNCING,
BOUNCING, BOUNCING, THE FEAR OF THE PARANOIA.
BOUNCING, BOUNCING, BOWNGS OF BOUNCING, UNTIL IT HAS NOWHERE
TO GO EXCEPT THE FOURTH WALL OF THE AUDIENCE AND I STARTED
FEELING EXACTLY HOW THEY FELT.
>> Stephen: WHICH I THINK IS AN ENORMOUS INDICATOR OF GREAT
ART.
IT CHANGES HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK AT THE ART.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
BY ME PUTTING THAT UNDER A MICROSCOPE AND REALIZING, OKAY,
I'M AFFECTED BY "THE THING," FOR THAT REASON, AND I FIGURE OUT
WHY IT IS.
WHEN I STARTED WRITING "RESERVOIR DOGS" I WAS LIKE I
NEED TO HAVE THAT ASPECT THAT'S IN "THE THING."
I NEED TO TRAP THESE BASTARDS.
I NEED TO TRAP THEM IN THIS WAREHOUSE, AND NO ONE CAN TRUST
ANYBODY ELSE.
AND I WANT THE PARANOIA OF WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT
WAREHOUSE TO BOUNCE ACROSS THE WALLS AND HOPEFULLY, LIKE IN
"THE THING," IT WILL GO OUT INTO THE AUDIENCE.
>> Stephen: STUDIOS ARE RETHINKING WHETHER THEATRICAL
RELEASES ARE WORTH IT.
MAKE THE CASE RIGHT NOW FOR THE BIG SILVER, WHY THAT SHOULD BE
THE FIRST CHOICE?
>> WELL, I THINK THE-- I THINK THE MAIN REASON IS...
TV'S FUN.
IT'S GOOD.
I'VE CARRIED MEMORIES THAT I'VE SEEN ON TELEVISION FOR MOIST OF
MY LIFE.
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO WATCHING A MOVIE-- AND I'VE SEEN MANY
MOVIES THAT HAVE BECOME SOME OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES AND THE ONLY
WAY I HAVE EVER SEEN THEM IS ON TELEVISION.
A LOT OF THE CLASSIC MOVIES I SAW ON LATE-NIGHT TELEVISION.
>> Stephen: "THE THING."
>> WELL, THE ORIGINAL "THE THING."
BUT THE THING IS...
( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT'S ALSO A DISPOSABLE
EXPERIENCE.
THERE IS AN ASPECT ABOUT IT BEING DISPOSABLE.
WHEN YOU-- WHEN A MOVIE COMES UP ON THE THAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN
ENOUGH TO SEE, AND IT MAKES YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE AND BUY A
TICKET AND YOU COULD DO ANYTHING IN THE WORLD YOU WANT THAT
NIGHT, BUT I DECIDE TO GO SEE A FILM, ONE FILM IN PARTICULAR.
YOU GO TO SEE IT.
MAYBE YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, MAYBE IT'S IN THE AFTERNOON, OR MAYBE
IT'S WITH YOUR DATE OR WIFE OR WHATEVER, AND YOU GO TO SEE IT
AND YOU BUY A TICKET AND SIT DOWN AND HAVE AN EXPERIENCE.
AND YOU HAVEAB EXPERIENCE WITH A BURN OF STRANGERS.
AND AT THAT MOMENT, ONCE THE MOVIE GETS GOING, ONCE THE
LIGHTS ARE DOWN, YOU BECOME A COLLECTIVE.
THIS AUDIENCE HERE IS A COLLECTIVE.
THERE'S YOU BY YOURSELF, YOU-- I'M TALKING TO YOU.
THERE'S YOU BY YOURSELF, BUT THEN THERE'S ALL OF YOU TOGET
TOGETHER.
AND YOU START APPRECIATING THE MOVIE IN THAT WAY.
AND WHEN YOU HAVE A GOOD EXPERIENCE-- IT'S NOT ALWAYS A
GOOD EXPERIENCE-- BUT WHEN YOU HAVE A GOOD EXPERIENCE, THOSE
ARE THE THINGS THAT STAY IN YOUR MIND AND THAT YOU REMEMBER FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
AND THEY BECOME INDELIBLE-- INDELIBLE SNAPSHOTS.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I'LL GO TO THE MOVIES.
( APPLAUSE ) "ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD"
IN ON SALE NOW.
QUENTIN TARANTINO, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE AUBREY PLAZA, AND I GIVE
THE COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE TO BRUC E SPRINGSTEEN.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. GOODNIGHT!