1 00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:02,969 >> A NEW STUDY REVEALS NOT ONLY 2 00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:06,239 IS COVID 19 TRANSMISSIBLE THROUGH HUMANS, IT ALSO CAN BE 3 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:07,640 PASSED THROUGH DEER. 4 00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:11,177 RESEARCHERS FOUND COVID 19 ANTIBODIES IN DEERSKIN SAMPLES 5 00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:12,479 WHICH LED TO THE DISCOVERY. 6 00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:15,181 >> THEY BELIEVE SOME OF THE POPULATION WAS INFECTED BY 7 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:18,852 HUMANS, AND THEY BECAME SUPERSPREADERS. 8 00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:29,062 ( CHRISTMAS MUSIC ) >> ALL RIGHT, REINDEER, TIME TO 9 00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:31,197 GET READY FOR THE CHRISTMAS SEASON! 10 00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:35,201 >> BACK OFF, FAT MAN, OR YOU WILL GIVE US ALL COVID! 11 00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:36,870 >> I'M IMMUNIZED. 12 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:39,205 I WENT WITH AARON RODGERS. 13 00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,408 >> HE'S LYING! 14 00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:42,876 FINE, I'M NOT VACCINATED. 15 00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:46,579 I DON'T WANT MY JINGLE BALLS TO SWELL UP LIKE NICKI MINAJ'S 16 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:47,680 COUSIN'S FRIEND. 17 00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:51,184 BESIDES, COVID IS A MYTH LIKE THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN. 18 00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:54,087 >> WHAT AN IDIOT! 19 00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:54,988 SORRY, SANTA. 20 00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:59,259 WE WON'T PULL YOUR FLYING SLEIGH THIS YEAR. 21 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:03,029 >> ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT MYSELF. 22 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:03,630 SIR, YOU HAVE TO WEAR A MASK. 23 00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:06,699 I'M NOT WEARING A MASK. 24 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:07,167 I'M IN AN AMERICAN. 25 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,170 LET'S GO BRANDON! 26 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,304 UNHAND ME! 27 00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:15,175 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT! 28 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:19,479 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) TONIGHT, LEFT BEHIND. 29 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:27,187 PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES BILLY PORTER! 30 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:30,657 AND ANNALEIGH ASHFORD! 31 00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:33,927 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN." 32 00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:39,699 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 33 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,203 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 34 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,805 P ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 35 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,207 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( THEME SONG PLAYING ) 36 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:54,881 >> Stephen: HEY! 37 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:59,285 HEY! 38 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,234 >> Announcer: THANK YOU -- >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR 39 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,235 BEING HERE. 40 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,270 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." 41 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,738 I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 42 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,774 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND I'M GOING TO START OFF 43 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:26,246 TONIGHT -- I WOULD LIKE TO WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY DUWALI. 44 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:34,787 FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW, 45 00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:36,022 IT'S THE SOUTH ASIAN RELIGIOUS FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS THAT 46 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,257 CELEBRATES THE "VICTORY OF LIGHT OVER DARKNESS, GOOD OVER EVIL, 47 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:42,862 AND KNOWLEDGE OVER IGNORANCE." 48 00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:43,463 SO BASICALLY, "TED LASSO." 49 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,631 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 50 00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:51,204 WE'RE STILL DIGESTING THE THE DEMOCRATS DID NOT HAVE A 51 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,039 GOOD NIGHT, BUT IT WAS PRIMARILY TWO STATES WHERE, HISTORICALLY, 52 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,874 THE PARTY IN THE WHITE HOUSE LOSES. 53 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:58,778 AND THE DEMOCRATS NARROWLY HELD ONTO ONE OF THEM, NEW JERSEY. 54 00:02:58,845 --> 00:02:59,245 SO, DISAPPOINTING. 55 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:00,880 BUT A MIXED BAG. 56 00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,616 OR, AS CABLE NEWS PUT IT: >> A FIVE ALARM FIRE FOR 57 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,151 DEMOCRATS. 58 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,653 >> FIVE-ALARM FIRE. 59 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:07,420 >> NO SILVER LININGS. 60 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:10,023 >> MAJOR SETBACKS ON ELECTION DAY. 61 00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:12,525 >> THE ANATOMY, REALLY, OF A DEMOCRATIC MELTDOWN. 62 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:13,693 A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MELTDOWN. 63 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,194 >> YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM, AND YOU'RE A 64 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:16,796 DEMOCRAT IN POWER? 65 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:20,900 YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED IN THE MIRROR THIS MORNING. 66 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:22,101 ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) >> STEPHEN: AND IF YOU COULDN'T 67 00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:23,236 STOP LOOKING IN THE MIRROR THIS MORNING, YOU'RE CHUCK TODD. 68 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:30,610 THE MEDIA, WHO ALL LIVE I ( LAUGHTER ) 69 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:35,181 ( PIANO RIFF ) ( APPLAUSE ) 70 00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:39,185 THE MEDIA, WHO ALL LIVE IN VIRGINIA OR NEW JERSEY, 71 00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:42,155 COINCIDENTALLY, ARE FREAKING OUT SO BADLY THAT NBC IS LAUNCHING A 72 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:47,360 NEW SUNDAY SHOW: "SEDATE THE PRESS." 73 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:48,461 ( LAUGHTER ) THE MEDIA'S NOT ALONE IN 74 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:49,596 OVER-REACTING. 75 00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,398 ONE FORMER OFFICIAL COMPARED TUESDAY'S LOSSES TO THE LAST 76 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:56,469 BIG OFF-YEAR DISASTER FOR DEMOCRATS, SAYING, "THIS IS 2009 77 00:03:56,536 --> 00:04:00,573 ALL OVER AGAIN." 78 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,475 YES, BACK IN 2009, AMERICANS WERE ALL ENJOYING THE OLD MAN IN 79 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,777 "UP." 80 00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:08,448 AND NOW WE'VE ELECTED THAT MAN PRESIDENT. 81 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:12,085 WAIT, WE BETTER CHECK ON HIM. 82 00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:13,086 DON'T GO, JOE! 83 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:20,460 MAYBE YOU'LL PASS INFRASTRUCTURE BY THE MIDTERMS! 84 00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:28,434 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IN RESPONSE TO THEIR DEFEATS, 85 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:28,835 CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS HAVE VOWED TO PASS THE "BUILD BACK 86 00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:30,837 BETTER" PLAN. 87 00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:35,108 ESPECIALLY SENATE MAJORITY WHIP, AND MAN FAILING TO "NAY NAY," 88 00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:36,676 DICK DURBIN. 89 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:39,145 DURBIN SAID OF THE POOR SHOWINGS IN NEW JERSEY AND VIRGINIA 90 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,781 "I THINK IT'S AN ACCELERANT. 91 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:42,849 IT'S TIME FOR US TO GO TO WORK." 92 00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:44,951 A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT! 93 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,120 (AS COLLEGE STUDENT) "OKAY, I KNOW I GOT A BAD 94 00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:52,825 MIDTERM REPORT CARD, SO I'M REALLY GOING TO BUCKLE DOWN. 95 00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:53,760 AND STUDY. 96 00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:54,961 STARTING TOMORROW. 97 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:58,564 FIRST, I GOT TO POLISH OFF ALL THE COORS LIGHTS IN THE FRIDGE 98 00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,432 AND SMOKE A LITTLE OF THIS. 99 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:05,805 ANYONE GOT ANY ACCELERANT?" ( LAUGHTER ) 100 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,441 ( PIANO RIFF ) ONE OF THE REASONS CONGRESS 101 00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:11,110 HASN'T DONE MORE-- OR ANY-- IS CONTINUED OPPOSITION FROM 102 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:15,114 MODERATES JOE MANCHIN AND KYRSTEN SINEMA, AND DEMOCRATS 103 00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,083 ARE GETTING SICK OF IT. 104 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:23,122 TAKE ARIZONA REPRESENTATIVE AND SINGING SNOWMAN, RAUL GRIJALVA. 105 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:27,126 GRIJALVA COMPLAINED THAT THERE'S A CODE OF SILENCE AROUND MANCHIN 106 00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:30,430 AND SINEMA, EXPLAINING, "WE'RE MAD AT THEM, BUT WE CAN'T SAY 107 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:35,134 ANYTHING, BECAUSE IT MIGHT MAKE THEM WEIRDER." 108 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,336 ( LAUGHTER ) WEIRDER THAN PRESIDING OVER 109 00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:41,941 THE U.S. SENATE WEARING HARLEY CASUAL? 110 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:42,709 ( LAUGHTER ) (AS SINEMA) 111 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:43,676 "DON'T TEST ME, PROGRESSIVES! 112 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:48,548 I HAVE SASSY PATCHES AND I WILL IRON THEM ON!" 113 00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:58,091 ( APPLAUSE ) IT'S A GOOD LOOK -- SLEEVELESS. 114 00:05:58,157 --> 00:05:59,425 AND THE WEIRDNESS HAS ALREADY STARTED WITH JOE MANCHIN. 115 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:00,827 HERE'S FOOTAGE OF HIM NEGOTIATING WITH CHUCK SCHUMER 116 00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:06,032 TODAY: ♪♪ 117 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:06,866 ♪♪ ( LAUGHTER ) 118 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,509 >> STEPHEN: POINT IS, THE DEMOCRATS HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. 119 00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:18,845 AND THEY ARE... 120 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,012 ISH. 121 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:22,582 LAST WEEK, BECAUSE OF MANCHIN'S OPPOSITION, DEMOCRATS TOOK 122 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,851 PAID FAMILY LEAVE OUT OF THE "BUILD BACK BETTER" BILL. 123 00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:27,120 BUT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED IN VIRGINIA, NOW, THE HOUSE HAS 124 00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:30,923 ADDED A PROVISION TO PROVIDE FOUR WEEKS OF FEDERALLY-PAID 125 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:35,128 FAMILY AND MEDICAL LEAVE. 126 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:36,462 OKAY. 127 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,697 THAT'S SOMETHING. 128 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,132 IT'S NOT WHAT ANYONE ASKED FOR, BUT IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING. 129 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:43,102 COINCIDENTALLY, THAT'S ALSO THE SLOGAN OF RC COLA. 130 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:52,545 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 131 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,847 THE ELECTION WASN'T ALL DOOM AND GLOOM. 132 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:58,584 ON TUESDAY, DETROIT VOTED TO DECRIMINALIZE PSYCHEDELIC 133 00:06:58,651 --> 00:06:59,318 MUSHROOMS. 134 00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:03,890 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) FINALLY! 135 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:06,859 DETROIT HAS SOLVED ITS ONLY PROBLEM! 136 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,930 STARTING NOW, IN THE MOTOR CITY, POSSESSION AND USE OF MAGIC 137 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,832 MUSHROOMS BY ADULTS IS THE CITY'S LOWEST LAW-ENFORCEMENT 138 00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:15,134 PRIORITY. 139 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:18,838 NOT THAT IT WAS A BIG LAW ENFORCEMENT CHALLENGE BEFORE. 140 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:22,041 IT'S PRETTY EASY TO ARREST SOMEONE WHO'S SPENT THE LAST 141 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,643 40 MINUTES IN THE CEREAL AISLE WEEPING WHILE LOOKING AT A BOX 142 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:30,850 OF FROOT LOOPS. 143 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:35,121 "THEY'RE ALL MY CHILDREN." 144 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,856 ( LAUGHTER ) "THEY'RE ALL MY CHILDREN." 145 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,125 MUSHROOMS HAVE BEEN GAINING ACCEPTANCE RECENTLY, AS DOCTORS 146 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:42,128 HAVE FOUND THEY CAN BE USED TO TREAT A VARIETY OF PSYCHOLOGICAL 147 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:42,829 ISSUES, INCLUDING DEPRESSION. 148 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:45,565 MUCH NEEDED IN DETROIT. 149 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:50,837 WITH THIS HELP, THEY MAY ONE DAY BE ABLE TO WATCH THE LIONS. 150 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:58,477 -- WATCH THE LIONS PLAY. 151 00:07:58,544 --> 00:07:59,412 ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF ) 152 00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:00,513 REALLY, REALLY? 153 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:05,451 THERE ARE THAT MANY LIONS FANS HERE TONIGHT? 154 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:14,861 GET SOME MAGIC M MUSHROOMS, MY FRIEND. 155 00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,562 ( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) 156 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,831 I CAN MAKE THAT JOKE BECAUSE IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I LOVE 157 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,533 SPORT. 158 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,701 ( LAUGHTER ) THE SMELL OF A NEW BASEBALL 159 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,135 MITT; THE SMELL OF THE FRESHLY CUT GRASS; THE SMELL OF THE 160 00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:27,139 POPCORN. 161 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,841 I MOSTLY LIKE SMELLS. 162 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:32,778 THERE'S SPORT-NEWS ABOUT GREEN BAY PACKERS QUARTERBACK AARON 163 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,147 RODGERS, SEEN HERE NOTICING A CLOUD THAT LOOKS LIKE A BUTT. 164 00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,849 ( LAUGHTER ) THIS WEEK, RODGERS TESTED 165 00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,118 POSITIVE FOR COVID. 166 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,386 OKAY, NOT A HUGE DEAL. 167 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:47,059 PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES TEST POSITIVE FOR A LOT OF THINGS. 168 00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:50,730 BUT HERE'S THE KICKER-- WHICH IS A FOOTBALL TERM: 169 00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:54,834 NEWS BROKE THAT RODGERS IS NOT VACCINATED. 170 00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,904 ACCORDING TO N.F.L. RULES, THAT MEANS HE HAS TO MISS SUNDAY'S 171 00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:02,074 GAME, AND SIT OUT THE NEXT FIVE STATE FARM COMMERCIALS. 172 00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:03,209 ( LAUGHTER ) GOING TO BE TOUGH ON JAKE TO 173 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:06,279 CARRY THE TEAM WITHOUT HIM. 174 00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:07,813 ( APPLAUSE ) BROAD SHOULDERS, THOUGH. 175 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,547 >> Jon: YEAH. 176 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,983 >> Stephen: THAT'S A RED SWEATER. 177 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,852 THIS IS A BIG DEAL, BECAUSE RODGERS HAS WORKED REALLY HARD 178 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:15,121 TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION THAT HE'S VACCINATED. 179 00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:18,124 HERE'S WHAT HE SAID RIGHT BEFORE THE START OF THE SEASON: 180 00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:19,392 >> ARE YOU VACCINATED, AND WHAT'S YOUR STANCE ON-- ON 181 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:23,129 VACCINATIONS? 182 00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:27,133 >> YEAH, I'VE BEEN IMMUNIZED. 183 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:30,836 YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LOT OF CONVERSATION AROUND IT, AROUND 184 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,439 THE LEAGUE, AND THE GUYS WHO HAVE MADE STATEMENTS-- AND I 185 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:37,643 MADE STATEMENTS, OWNERS THAT MADE STATEMENTS. 186 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,679 >> Stephen: THAT'S REALLY VAGUE. 187 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,848 HE BETTER NOT TALK THAT WAY IN THE HUDDLE. 188 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:46,686 OKAY, BRING IT IN. 189 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,054 THE NEXT PLAY IS A RUN, OR MAYBE A PASS? 190 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,322 THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF CONVERSATIONS AROUND IT, AND THE 191 00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:51,123 COACH HAS MADE A STATEMENT IN MY HELMET, BUT THE MAIN POINT IS... 192 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:54,827 LET ME BREATHE ON YOU." 193 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:58,397 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Jon: OH, NO. 194 00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:03,869 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) 195 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,973 >> Stephen: NOW, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT 196 00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,075 RODGERS SAID HE WAS "IMMUNIZED." 197 00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:10,409 THAT DOESN'T MEAN VACCINATED. 198 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,845 TURNS OUT, RODGERS PURSUED AN ALTERNATIVE TREATMENT, AND THEN 199 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:15,314 PETITIONED THE N.F.L. TO RECOGNIZE HIM AS VACCINATED. 200 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:18,851 THE N.F.L. REFUSED, BECAUSE IT WAS A "HOMEOPATHIC TREATMENT 201 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:23,756 FROM HIS PERSONAL DOCTOR TO RAISE HIS ANTIBODY LEVELS." 202 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:30,830 UH, OH, MY GOOP SENSES ARE TINGLING! 203 00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:33,366 ( LAUGHTER ) MM-MM-MM... 204 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:34,600 ( LAUGHTER ) I'M NO EXPERT, BUT I'M GUESSING 205 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,836 IT'S A LOT EASIER TO JUST PLAY FOOTBALL WITH A SHOT IN YOUR ARM 206 00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:42,141 THAN A JADE EGG WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE. 207 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:46,512 ( APPLAUSE ) THEN AGAIN, THEY ARE CALLED 208 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,013 "THE PACKERS." 209 00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:51,117 >> Jon: OH, MY GOSH! 210 00:10:51,183 --> 00:11:01,327 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: FOOTBALL PLAYERS 211 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,095 AREN'T THE ONLY ONES TESTING POSITIVE. 212 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,563 A NEW STUDY FOUND THAT THE MAJORITY OF IOWA'S WHITE-TAILED 213 00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:06,832 DEER MAY ALREADY BE INFECTED WITH THE CORONAVIRUS. 214 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:08,734 HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? 215 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:12,838 I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT DEER PREFER OUTDOOR DINING! 216 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:15,141 NO SURPRISE-- IT APPEARS THE DEER ARE GETTING SICK FROM 217 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:16,542 HUMANS. 218 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,844 THAT MEANS IOWA HUNTERS ARE KILLING THESE DEER FROM LESS 219 00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:21,781 THAN SIX FEET AWAY. 220 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,115 "SCREW THIS GUN, I'M GOING TO STRANGLE THIS BASTARD. 221 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:26,886 DIE! 222 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:27,319 DIE! 223 00:11:27,386 --> 00:11:30,856 LOOK IN MY EYES! 224 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:31,924 LOOK IN MY EYES! 225 00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:39,131 OIM GOING TO CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF,MOUNT IT ON MY WALL! 226 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:46,272 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I REALLY GOT INTO 227 00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:47,440 CHARACTER THERE FOR A MOMENT. 228 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:52,144 I HOPE I DIDN'T UPSET ANYBODY. 229 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,847 THE REAL CONCERN HERE IS THAT THE DEER MIGHT TRANSMIT COVID 230 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,149 BACK TO HUMANS, IN WHICH CASE THE ANIMALS COULD BECOME A 231 00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:58,317 RESERVOIR FOR THE VIRUS. 232 00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,285 IT'S A NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, THAT'S ALSO THE PLOT OF QUENTIN 233 00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:03,823 TARANTINO'S NEXT FILM: "RESERVOIR DEER." 234 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,292 ( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 235 00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:07,393 TONIGHT. 236 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:07,860 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MY GUESTS ARE BILLY PORTER AND 237 00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:10,329 ANNALEIGH ASHFORD. 238 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,566 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!" 239 00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:14,600 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OH, STICK AROUND. 240 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:51,604 ♪♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 241 00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:54,206 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY! 242 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:58,677 OH, PLEASE SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN" AND 243 00:12:58,744 --> 00:12:59,044 FRIENDS. 244 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,247 AND FRIENDS. 245 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,916 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: HEY! 246 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:07,019 >> Stephen: JON, I'M VERY EXCITED BECAUSE OUR DEAR FRIEND 247 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:11,590 BILLY PORTER IS GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT IN JUST A MOMENT. 248 00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:15,461 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND, OF COURSE, VERY TALENTED 249 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:23,602 ANNALEIGH ASHFORD, TONY WINNER IS GOING TO BE HERE AS WELL 250 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:24,770 CBS'S "B POSITIVE." 251 00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,373 WHO IS JOINING YOU ON THE BAND STAND? 252 00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:32,745 >> Jon: WE HAVE KENNY GARRETT ON THE ALTO SAXOPHONE. 253 00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:34,313 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: KENNY. 254 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,614 >> Jon: YES, INDEED. 255 00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,184 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR ART WITH US THIS 256 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:39,919 EVENING, ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE A JAZZ MESSENGER UP THERE. 257 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,620 >> Jon: OH, YES. 258 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:47,893 >> Stephen: FOLKS, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW, 259 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,828 I SPEND A LOT OF TIME RIGHT OVER THERE, GATHERING THE FRESHEST, 260 00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,363 NEWSIEST HEADLINE FLOWERS, SCOURING THE FIELDS AND FORESTS 261 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:53,465 FOR THE MOST TOPICAL AND FRAGRANT SYLVAN NEWS BOUGHS, AND 262 00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:54,900 JOKIEST FESTIVE GOURDS, THEN CAREFULLY ASSEMBLING AND 263 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:58,037 ARRANGING THEM ALL INTO THE GRAND YET TASTEFUL STATE 264 00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:03,876 DINNER-WORTHY CENTERPIECE THAT IS MY NIGHTLY MONOLOGUE. 265 00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:07,846 BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS, I RUB SOME LEAD PAINT CHIPS INTO 266 00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:10,249 MY GUMS, STAGGER INTO THE WOODS WITH NOTHING BUT A STAPLE GUN 267 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,184 AND SOME EMPTY CANS OF SPRAY PAINT, THEN, BY THE LIGHT OF A 268 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:15,888 TIRE-FIRE, USING SMASHED LARVAE AND MY OWN SALIVA AS GLUE, I 269 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:19,892 COBBLE TOGETHER A CRUDE PILE OF PUNKY WOOD AND ANIMAL SKULLS TO 270 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:23,596 PRESENT TO YOU THE UNHINGED LONER'S CORNUCOPIA OF NEWS THAT 271 00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:29,635 IS MY SEGMENT: "MEANWHILE!" 272 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:37,409 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DON'T ASK ME, ASK MEANWHILE. 273 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,678 MEANWHILE KNOWS ALL, TELLS ALL. 274 00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,614 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, LADY GAGA JUST BECAME 275 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,949 THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO BE ON THE COVER OF BOTH BRITISH 276 00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:47,620 "VOGUE" AND "VOGUE ITALIA" AT THE SAME TIME. 277 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:50,522 IMPRESSIVE. 278 00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:55,894 >> Stephen: O -- >> Jon: OH, MY. 279 00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:59,565 >> Stephen: REALLY IMPRESSIVE. 280 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,066 THOUGH I'VE GOT TO SAY, IT LOOKS LIKE SHE WAS VERY PREPARED FOR 281 00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,268 THE FIRST ONE, AND A LITTLE CAUGHT OFF-GUARD BY THE SECOND. 282 00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:03,035 ANOTHER ONE? 283 00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:03,636 QUICK! 284 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:04,169 CUT A HOLE IN A BATH MAT! 285 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,304 I'LL MAKE IT WORK! 286 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:07,873 LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GOING TO A HALLOWEEN PARTY DRESSED AS A 287 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,708 TONGUE. 288 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:14,913 ( LAUGHTER ) SOMEONE LEFT THE GRIMACE OUT IN 289 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,115 THE SUN. 290 00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,950 MEANWHILE, "SEX AND THE CITY" FANS REJOICE, BECAUSE "CARRIE 291 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:25,924 BRADSHAW'S APARTMENT IS GOING UP FOR RENT ON AIRBNB." 292 00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,126 ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) (TYPES ON LAPTOP) 293 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:29,094 "ALTHOUGH I COULDN'T HELP BUT WONDER... WAS THIS ALL JUST A 294 00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:31,363 TRANSPARENT MARKETING PLOY TO WRING THE LAST DREGS OF CASH 295 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,064 FROM 'SEX AND THE CITY' FANS? 296 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:40,939 (CHUCKLES) I'M SUCH A MIRANDA." 297 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:43,876 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'M A CHARLOTTE. 298 00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:47,613 FOR TWO NIGHTS ONLY, LUCKY GUESTS WILL ENJOY THE STORIED 299 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,884 APARTMENT FOR JUST "$23 A NIGHT, A NOD TO THE SHOW'S 23-YEAR 300 00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,619 HISTORY." 301 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,754 AND IT'S ALSO A CELEBRATION OF HOW THE WRITERS OF "SEX AND THE 302 00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:59,892 CITY" HAD NO CLUE HOW MUCH THINGS COST. 303 00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:02,394 ( LAUGHTER ) SHE'S A ONCE-WEEKLY LOCAL 304 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,562 NEWSPAPER COLUMNIST. 305 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,163 SHE COULDN'T LIVE ALONE IN A SWANKY APARTMENT ON THE UPPER 306 00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:05,631 EAST SIDE! 307 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:09,835 SHE WOULD HAVE SIX INSANE ROOMMATES IN A BELOW-GROUND 308 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,904 STUDIO IN SHEEPSHEAD BAY, AND WORK NIGHTS AT THE SBARRO IN 309 00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:17,643 PENN STATION, AND SHE HAS TO SHOWER IN THE KITCHEN SINK. 310 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:23,382 ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 311 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:26,318 VISITORS WILL GET THE FULL "SEX AND THE CITY" EXPERIENCE, AS 312 00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,387 SARAH JESSICA PARKER WILL VIRTUALLY GREET THE VISITORS AT 313 00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:31,890 CHECK-IN, AND THEY'LL BE TREATED TO A STYLING SESSION AND PHOTO 314 00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:34,360 SHOOT. 315 00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:37,830 NOT EXACTLY MY THING, BUT DEFINITELY BETTER THAN THE 316 00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:39,898 "GAME OF THRONES" AIRBNB, WHICH IS IN AN AUTHENTIC BURNING 317 00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:43,902 CASTLE, COMPLETE WITH A PERSONAL GREETING FROM ARYA, WHO KILLS 318 00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:47,639 YOU AND THEN WEARS YOUR FACE. 319 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:51,877 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 320 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:55,547 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, POTATO WATCHERS THINK 321 00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:59,284 THEY HAVE FOUND "THE WORLD'S LARGEST POTATO." 322 00:16:59,351 --> 00:16:59,918 OAY. 323 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:05,624 WE'VE ALL HEARD THAT BEFORE. 324 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,959 JIM, LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 325 00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,260 I'M SORRY, CAN SOMEONE MOVE THAT CURSED HOMUNCULUS OUT OF THE 326 00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:08,894 WAY? 327 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,496 I'D LIKE TO SEE THE POTATO. 328 00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:11,630 WHAT? 329 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,933 THAT IS SPUDS MC-CRAZY! 330 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:15,901 WHERE DID THEY FIND THIS THING? 331 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,636 THE ISLAND OF DOCTOR POTATO? 332 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:21,540 THIS IS THE FARMER WHO FOUND IT, COLIN CRAIG-BROWN-- SEEN HERE, 333 00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:27,946 ONE ASSUMES, BREAST FEEDING THE POTATO. 334 00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:37,990 HE AND HIS WIFE ARE FARMERS IN NEW ZEALAND WHO SAY THEY "WERE 335 00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:44,496 HE AND HIS WIFE ARE FARMERS IN NEW ZEALAND WHO SAY THEY "WERE 336 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:50,402 WEEDING THEIR GARDEN WHEN HIS HOE STRUCK SOMETHING HUGE," SO 337 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:51,503 "HE SCRATCHED AWAY A BIT OF THE SKIN AND TASTED IT." 338 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,371 THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT NEW ZEALANDERS. 339 00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:53,572 THEIR SENSE OF ADVENTURE. 340 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:54,139 THEY SEE THIS THING BIRTHED FROM THEIR YARD, AND THEIR FIRST 341 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:55,040 THOUGHT IS, "SWEET AS! 342 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:55,607 IT LOOKS LIKE A MUMMIFIED CHIMPANZEE ASS. 343 00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:56,508 BETTER GIVE IT A LICK." 344 00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,645 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, "THE BEST CHEESE IN 345 00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:01,280 THE WORLD HAS BEEN NAMED." 346 00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:02,648 THE CHEESE IS CALLED OLAVIDIA, AND ACCORDING TO ONE OF THE 347 00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:04,716 JUDGES, "THE CHEESE STOLE MY HEART. 348 00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:06,852 IT'S LIKE NOTHING I'VE SEEN BEFORE. 349 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,488 IT HAD AN INCREDIBLY RICH, UNCTUOUS, CREAMY TEXTURE. 350 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,623 IT WAS PILLOWY, WARM, AND COMFORTING, AND THE FLAVOR WAS 351 00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,892 RICH, ROUND AND LONG. 352 00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:17,629 I JUST WANTED TO GO TO BED WITH IT." 353 00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:22,901 ( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW IF WE FOUND THE 354 00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:24,102 WORLD'S BEST CHEESE, BUT WE HAVE FOUND THE WORLD'S LONELIEST 355 00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:29,641 JUDGE. 356 00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:33,979 ( APPLAUSE ) "THIS CHEESE JUST GETS ME. 357 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,614 IT LISTENS. 358 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,884 WE BOTH LOVE LAYING ON CRACKERS, AND NEITHER OF US WANTS KIDS. 359 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:43,689 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO GO BANG THIS CHEESE." 360 00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:46,291 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, "IKEA HAS MADE 361 00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:47,626 SOUND-ABSORBING CURTAINS TO BROKER PEACE BETWEEN NOISY 362 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,395 ROOMMATES." 363 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:54,433 PERFECT, IF YOU'RE ROOMMATES WITH THAT HORNY CHEESE FREAK. 364 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,969 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BILLY PORTER. 365 00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:17,956 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 366 00:19:18,023 --> 00:19:21,193 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 367 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:25,297 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME BACK. 368 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,833 MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS THE EMMY, TONY, AND GRAMMY-WINNING 369 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:31,370 PERFORMER YOU KNOW FROM HIS TIME ON BROADWAY, HIS STARRING ROLE 370 00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:38,143 ON "POSE," AND HIS SHOW-STOPPING RED-CARPET STYLE. 371 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:43,949 PLEASE WELCOME BILLY PORTER! 372 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:53,992 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 373 00:19:54,059 --> 00:20:03,201 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 374 00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:03,569 >> YAY! 375 00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:04,403 OH, SHOOT! 376 00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:08,907 THEY'RE PLAYING MY SONG! 377 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,944 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN" ARE 378 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,679 PLAYING MY NEW SONG! 379 00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:14,713 CHILDREN! 380 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,582 HEY, GOT TO LET THE CHILDREN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS! 381 00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:18,884 >> Stephen: SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU. 382 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,352 >> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO! 383 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:23,455 >> Stephen: BEFORE WE GET STARTED, THERE'S SO MUCH TO TALK 384 00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:23,755 ABOUT. 385 00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:24,823 >> YES. 386 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,326 >> Stephen: FIRST, I WANT TO TO YOU ABOUT THIS -- YOU 387 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:33,031 RECENTLY -- YOU MADE SOME COMMENTS ABOUT HARRY STILES 388 00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:34,266 VOGUE COVER. 389 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:39,137 QUICKLY, IF YOU CAN EXPLAIN TO THE AUDIENCE WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT 390 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:42,641 YOU SAID AND WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY. 391 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:46,144 >> Stephen: APPARENTLY, I'M FAMOUS NOW, AND IT WAS A SLOW 392 00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:51,249 NEWS DAY, SO THE FIRST THING I WANT TO SAY IS, HARRY STILES, I 393 00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:52,084 APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR HAVING YOUR NAME IN MY MOUTH. 394 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:53,585 IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. 395 00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:55,954 THE CONVERSATION IS NOT ABOUT YOU. 396 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:56,855 RIGHT. 397 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,090 >> Stephen: FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW. 398 00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:01,460 HARRY STILES WAS THE FIRST MAN TO APPEAR ON THE COVER OF VOGUE. 399 00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:01,927 >> IN A DRESS. 400 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:04,496 >> Stephen: RIGHT. 401 00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:07,032 AND, SO, THE CONVERSATION IS ACTUALLY DEEPER THAN THAT. 402 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:15,807 IT IS ABOUT THE SYSTEMS OF OPPRESSION AND ERAY SURE OF 403 00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:19,411 PEOPLE WHO CONTRIBUTE TO THE CULTURE OF COLOR. 404 00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:21,880 THAT'S A LOT TO UNPACK. 405 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,148 I'M WILLING TO UNPACK IT. 406 00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:27,552 SONS OF THE DRAGGING AND CANCEL CULTURE OF THE INTERNET BECAUSE 407 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:33,091 I DO NOT NOW NOR WILL EVER ADJUDICATE MY LIFE IN SOUND 408 00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:34,326 BYTES ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 409 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:39,698 SO WHEN YOU'RE READY TO HAVE THE RILE CONVERSATION, CALL IT IN. 410 00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:40,232 OKAY? 411 00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:41,533 I'M READY TO HAVE IT! 412 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,101 AND I'M SORRY, HARRY. 413 00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:44,269 I DIDN'T MEAN NO HARM. 414 00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:45,470 I'M A GAY MAN. 415 00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:48,073 WE LIKE HARRY, HE'S CUTE! 416 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,742 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: ARE YOU SURPRISED 417 00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:53,311 THIS COMMENT BLEW UP THE WAY IT DID? 418 00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,747 >> I AM SURPRISED BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER THINGS THAT 419 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,517 ARE IMPORTANT ON THIS EARTH TO BE TALKING ABOUT. 420 00:21:58,583 --> 00:21:59,184 IT'S JUST WEIRD. 421 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:00,919 >> Stephen: LET'S DO IT, THEN. 422 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,120 YES, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT. 423 00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:04,690 >> Stephen: THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THANK YOU FOR SENDING 424 00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:05,857 TE SHOES. 425 00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:06,958 >> YES! 426 00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:10,762 >> Stephen: OKAY, THIS MID SUMMER YOU SENT ME -- YOU'RE 427 00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:13,298 DESIGNING FOR JIMMY CHU. 428 00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:16,768 >> YES, I HAVE A COLLECTION WITH JIMMY CHU. 429 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:20,072 IT'S GENDERLESS, ANY SIZE FOR ANY SHOE, AND ALL THE PROCEEDS 430 00:22:20,138 --> 00:22:23,909 GO TO THE TREVOR PROJECT. 431 00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:24,843 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES. 432 00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:26,611 >> Stephen: WELL, I WAS THRILLED TO GET IT. 433 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:29,881 I ALWAYS SAID, YOU'VE GOT A PRESENT FROM BILLY PORTER. 434 00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:31,083 WHAT COULD IT BE? 435 00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:35,253 I OPEN IT UP AND THERE ARE THESE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL SHOES, 436 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,723 THEY'RE LOAFERS WITH TASSELS. 437 00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:38,523 >> YES. 438 00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:41,893 >> Stephen: A ZEBRA PRINT OR LEOPARD? 439 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,095 >> BROWN ZEBRA. 440 00:22:43,161 --> 00:22:49,167 >> Stephen: I SAID, HAND TO GOD, I'M GOING TO WEAR THESE TO 441 00:22:49,234 --> 00:22:49,868 OBAMA'S 60th BIRTHDAY PARTY. 442 00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:51,002 >> OH. 443 00:22:51,069 --> 00:22:54,272 >> Stephen: AND I'M GOING TO WEAR A NICE ZENNIA TAN SUIT, 444 00:22:54,339 --> 00:22:57,309 DARK SHIRT AND ZEBRA PRINT SHOES. 445 00:22:57,375 --> 00:22:59,945 I GOT UNINVITED. 446 00:23:00,011 --> 00:23:02,714 ( LAUGHTER ) THE HEAD REASONLINE IS I GOT 447 00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:06,618 UNINVITED TO OBAMA'S PARTY WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE IF I HAD COME IN 448 00:23:06,685 --> 00:23:09,488 YOUR SHOES, NO ONE WOULD HAVE MADE APENSION TO OBAMA. 449 00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:12,958 BUT I DID TAKE A PHOTO AND SEND IT TO YOU BECAUSE I DID WANT TO 450 00:23:13,024 --> 00:23:14,159 WEAR THEM. 451 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:17,195 THIS IS WHAT I WAS DOING THE NIGHT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT THAT 452 00:23:17,262 --> 00:23:17,763 PARTY. 453 00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:18,897 THIS IS ME IN THE SHOES. 454 00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:24,102 >> OH, I LOVE THAT YOU LIKE MY SHOES! 455 00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:25,103 YAY! 456 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:29,241 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I LOVE IT! 457 00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:31,676 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THEY'RE 458 00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:32,210 GOODLOOKIN'! 459 00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:33,245 WHERE DO I WEAR THEM? 460 00:23:33,311 --> 00:23:34,846 DO YOU HAVE A RECOMMENDATION? 461 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:36,348 >> WEAR THEM EVERY DAY ALL DAY. 462 00:23:36,414 --> 00:23:39,050 IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A SPECIAL OCCASION. 463 00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:40,986 WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT WHENEVER YOU WANT TO WEAR THEM. 464 00:23:41,052 --> 00:23:43,455 >> Stephen: I'M NOT AS SPECIAL AS YOU ARE. 465 00:23:43,522 --> 00:23:45,290 I NEED SPECIAL OCCASIONS. 466 00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:48,827 EVERYWHERE YOU GO ENDS UP FEELING A LITTLE BIT SPECIAL. 467 00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:51,930 NOW, YOU'VE WRITTEN A NEW MEMOIR. 468 00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:52,464 >> YES. 469 00:23:52,531 --> 00:23:53,098 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT. 470 00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:54,666 I WROTE A WHOLE BOOK, Y'ALL! 471 00:23:54,733 --> 00:23:59,704 >> Stephen: IT'S CALLED UNPROTECTED, AND THIS IS -- IT 472 00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:03,275 REALLY TELLS THE STORY OF WHAT IT TOOK TO BECOME THE BILLY 473 00:24:03,341 --> 00:24:06,111 PORTER THAT WE ALL KNOW TODAY. 474 00:24:06,178 --> 00:24:07,245 >> YES. 475 00:24:07,312 --> 00:24:09,548 >> Stephen: YOU DELVE INTO SOME DIFFICULT TOPICS, AND HOW 476 00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:12,083 DOES IT FEEL TO SHARE YOUR STORY WITH THE WORLD? 477 00:24:12,150 --> 00:24:16,087 >> YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN VERY HEALING, THE JOURNEY HAS BEEN 478 00:24:16,154 --> 00:24:17,322 VERY HEALING. 479 00:24:17,389 --> 00:24:25,564 YOU KNOW, MOST OF IT WAS WRITTEN IN COVID, AND I DISCOVERED HOW 480 00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:26,698 TO HEAL TRAUMA. 481 00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:30,135 YOU KNOW, THE BOOK IS CALLED UNPROTECTED, AND IT'S ABOUT 482 00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:33,872 HEALING MY TRAUMA THROUGH THE POWER OF ART, AND MY HOPE IS 483 00:24:33,939 --> 00:24:39,244 THAT MY STORY AND MY JOURNEY WILL FREE SOMEBODY ELSE AND SET 484 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:43,982 SOMEBODY ELSE FREE, BECAUSE IT SET ME FREE. 485 00:24:44,049 --> 00:24:45,884 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE WERE HAVING A 486 00:24:45,951 --> 00:24:48,753 CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS BEFORE THE SHOW. 487 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,890 WHAT INSPIRES YOU ARTISTICALLY? 488 00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:55,994 >> THE TRUTH. 489 00:24:56,061 --> 00:24:57,095 AUTHENTICITY AND THE TRUTH. 490 00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:58,396 TELL THE TRUTH. 491 00:24:58,463 --> 00:25:02,667 SPEAK TRUTH TO ALL POWER, ALL THE TIME. 492 00:25:02,734 --> 00:25:05,871 THAT'S WHAT WE GET TO DO AS ARTISTS. 493 00:25:05,937 --> 00:25:07,572 ( APPLAUSE ) WE GET TO DO THAT IN A WAY 494 00:25:07,639 --> 00:25:09,641 THAT'S NOT DIDACTIC. 495 00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,509 I'M NOT A POLITICIAN, RIGHT. 496 00:25:11,576 --> 00:25:15,513 WE'RE NOT POLITICIANS, SO WE CAN ACTUALLY TELL THE TRUTH. 497 00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:17,115 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE TO 498 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:20,085 VOTE FOR YOU SOME DAY, THOUGH, BILLY PORTER. 499 00:25:20,151 --> 00:25:22,187 >> YEAH, I CUSS TOO MUCH. 500 00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:25,257 >> Stephen: YOU WRITE ABOUT YOUR H.I.V. STATUS IN HERE. 501 00:25:25,323 --> 00:25:26,358 >> YEAH. 502 00:25:26,424 --> 00:25:28,393 >> Stephen: I KNOW THAT MUST BE VERY MEANINGFUL TO MANY 503 00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:30,929 PEOPLE TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT IT PUBLICLY. 504 00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:33,231 WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU TO TALK ABOUT IT? 505 00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:39,437 >> YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A SHAME THAT WAS PERVASIVE IN MY LIFE 506 00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:45,677 FOR THE ENTIRETY OF MY LIFE. 507 00:25:45,744 --> 00:25:48,113 THE 2007 DIAGNOSIS WAS JUST ANOTHER LAYER OF SHAME. 508 00:25:48,179 --> 00:25:53,652 AND, SO, AFTER 14 YEARS, TO SPEAK THAT WAS TO, ONCE AGAIN, 509 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:57,923 I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, SET MYSELF FREE OF THE SHAME BECAUSE SHAME 510 00:25:57,989 --> 00:26:01,192 IS A SILENCER, AND SILENCE IS A MURDERER. 511 00:26:01,259 --> 00:26:02,928 SHAME IS A MURDERER. 512 00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:06,965 I WAS DYING A VERY SLOW DEATH, AND I HAVE TOO MUCH WORK TO DO 513 00:26:07,032 --> 00:26:08,066 FOR THAT. 514 00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:12,037 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO I HAD TO LET IT GO! 515 00:26:12,103 --> 00:26:14,739 I HAD TO LET IT GO, Y'ALL! 516 00:26:14,806 --> 00:26:19,711 >> Stephen: WELL, YOU HAVE AN INSPIRING LEVEL OF JOY AND 517 00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:21,112 ENERGY AND ZEST FOR LIFE. 518 00:26:21,179 --> 00:26:22,781 WHAT IS YOUR SOURCE OF THAT JOY? 519 00:26:22,847 --> 00:26:25,684 WHAT IS THE WORK YOU DO TO MAINTAIN THAT? 520 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:28,787 >> WELL, IT'S -- YOU KNOW, A LOT OF IT HAS BEEN RECENT, YOU KNOW, 521 00:26:28,853 --> 00:26:30,922 JUST IN TERMS OF, YOU KNOW, LIKE HAVING TIME. 522 00:26:30,989 --> 00:26:34,793 YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN SAYING COVID CAME AND SHUT DOWN THE 523 00:26:34,859 --> 00:26:37,195 WORLD SO THAT I COULD HEAL. 524 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:42,500 LIKE, I HAVE BEEN IN TRAUMA THERAPY, I HAVE BEEN FACING OLD 525 00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:43,735 STUFF. 526 00:26:43,802 --> 00:26:48,073 I HAVE BEEN, LIKE, EXCAVATING THE DEMONS AND, LIKE, YOU KNOW, 527 00:26:48,139 --> 00:26:52,577 I'M FEELING REALLY --, LIKE, REAL JOY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 528 00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:57,282 MY LIFE, AND I'M FEELING REAL HEALING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY 529 00:26:57,349 --> 00:27:01,019 LIFE, AND IT'S REALLY, REALLY POWERFUL, AND I JUST WANT TO BE 530 00:27:01,086 --> 00:27:04,089 ABLE TO SHARE THAT WITH THE WORLD, AND I HOPE THAT THIS 531 00:27:04,155 --> 00:27:05,857 BOOK, YOU KNOW, DOES THAT. 532 00:27:05,924 --> 00:27:08,093 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK, BUT 533 00:27:08,159 --> 00:27:09,594 PLEASE DON'T GO AWAY. 534 00:27:09,661 --> 00:27:13,064 WHEN I COME BACK, I'LL ASK BILLY HOW "KINKY BOOTS" TRANSFORMED 535 00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:13,531 HIS CAREER. 536 00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:14,032 STICK AROUND. 537 00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:27,112 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 538 00:27:27,178 --> 00:27:33,885 WE ARE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF THE NEW MEMOIR "UNPROTECTED, 539 00:27:33,952 --> 00:27:34,919 BILLY PORTER. 540 00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:37,122 ANNALEIGH ASHFORD IS ALSO OUR GUEST TONIGHT. 541 00:27:37,188 --> 00:27:39,391 YOU GUYS WERE IN "KINKY BOOTS" TOGETHER. 542 00:27:39,457 --> 00:27:40,558 >> YES, WE WERE! 543 00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:42,694 >> Stephen: AND ACTUALLY, I THINK I HAVE A SHOT OF THE TWO 544 00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:45,830 OF YOU. 545 00:27:45,897 --> 00:27:46,865 THERE YOU GO. 546 00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:53,471 THERE YOU ARE AND ANNALEIGH IN THE MIDDLE. 547 00:27:53,538 --> 00:27:54,672 >> YEAH. 548 00:27:54,739 --> 00:27:56,641 >> Stephen: IT WAS A BIG BREAK FOR YOU AND YOU GOT YOUR TONY 549 00:27:56,708 --> 00:27:57,809 FOR THIS. 550 00:27:57,876 --> 00:28:01,312 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU GOT THE ROLE? 551 00:28:01,379 --> 00:28:02,747 WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT LIKE FOR YOU? 552 00:28:02,814 --> 00:28:09,287 >> IT WAS AN AFFIRMATION OF THE DECADES THAT, YOU KNOW, I WAS 553 00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:13,691 TOLD THAT MY QUEERNESS WOULD BE MY LIABILITY. 554 00:28:13,758 --> 00:28:15,827 >> Stephen: AND THAT YOU SHOULD HIDE IT. 555 00:28:15,894 --> 00:28:17,996 >> YES, AND IT WAS FOR DECADES. 556 00:28:18,063 --> 00:28:25,203 AND THEN "KINKY BOOTS" HAPPENED, AND IT WASN'T. 557 00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:27,806 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO IT WAS AN AFFIRMATION, AND 558 00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:31,509 HOPEFULLY IT WILL BAN AFFIRMATION TO ALL OF YOU THAT 559 00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:39,818 YOUR AUTHENTICITY IS THE ONLY OPTION ONE HAS FOR SURVIVAL ON 560 00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:42,654 THIS PLANET. 561 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,422 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HARD TO REMEMBER 562 00:28:44,489 --> 00:28:45,023 SOMETIMES. 563 00:28:45,090 --> 00:28:45,957 >> IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER. 564 00:28:46,024 --> 00:28:48,927 >> Stephen: IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER SOMETIMES. 565 00:28:48,993 --> 00:28:50,028 >> IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER. 566 00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:52,730 >> Stephen: BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT YOU TO BE WHATEVER THEY 567 00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:53,131 NEED. 568 00:28:53,198 --> 00:28:54,199 >> ABSOLUTELY. 569 00:28:54,265 --> 00:29:00,505 AND WE GET THE OPPRESSION, YOU KNOW, IT'S GOVERNMENT 570 00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:02,040 SANCTIONED, IT'S RELIGIOUS SANCTIONED. 571 00:29:02,107 --> 00:29:05,777 ALL YOU HEAR IS, NO, YOU'RE NOT OKAY, YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH, YOU'RE 572 00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:08,880 WRONG, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU NEED TO BE FIXED. 573 00:29:08,947 --> 00:29:12,517 IT'S A MESSAGING I RECEIVED FROM THE TIME I COULD COMPREHEND 574 00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:13,985 THOUGHT, RIGHT. 575 00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:21,659 LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO NOT NEED VALIDATION FROM THE OUTSIDE, 576 00:29:21,726 --> 00:29:22,894 FROM ANYBODY. 577 00:29:22,961 --> 00:29:26,464 VALIDATE YOURSELF, SPEAK LIFE INTO YOURSELF, AND GO ON OUT AND 578 00:29:26,531 --> 00:29:27,832 CHANGE THE WORLD. 579 00:29:27,899 --> 00:29:36,674 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT IS NO SECRET 580 00:29:36,741 --> 00:29:39,410 THAT YOU ARE A FASHION ICON. 581 00:29:39,477 --> 00:29:40,545 >> THANK YOU. 582 00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:42,046 >> Stephen: PEOPLE LOVE TO SEE WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR. 583 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:45,750 LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT HAS AUTHENTICALLY HAPPENED TO 584 00:29:45,817 --> 00:29:48,653 FASHION DURING COVID BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF 585 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,321 REEXAMINATION OF PEOPLE'S PRIORITIES AND THERE HAS BEEN A 586 00:29:50,388 --> 00:29:53,825 LOT OF JUST SWEAT PANTS AND TANK TOPS. 587 00:29:53,892 --> 00:29:56,528 >> AND ZOOM CALLS FROM THE TOP UP. 588 00:29:56,594 --> 00:29:57,562 >> Stephen: EXACTLY. 589 00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:59,898 IS FASHION GOING TO BE THE SAME WHEN THIS IS OVER? 590 00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:02,467 >> FASHION IS GOING TO COME BACK AND IT'S GOING TO MORPH AND BE 591 00:30:02,534 --> 00:30:03,301 WHATEVER IT IS. 592 00:30:03,368 --> 00:30:07,372 >> Stephen: CAN SWEAT PANTS BE FASHION? 593 00:30:07,438 --> 00:30:16,548 >> LISTEN, T ATH-LEISURE IS FASHION. 594 00:30:16,614 --> 00:30:20,818 ATH-LEISURE IS -- NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND $8,000 ON A SWEAT 595 00:30:20,885 --> 00:30:21,819 SUIT BUT SOME PEOPLE DO. 596 00:30:21,886 --> 00:30:25,757 >> Stephen: OR IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO SEND YOU ONE? 597 00:30:25,823 --> 00:30:29,327 >> I WOULD WEAR IT EVERY DAY. 598 00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:31,095 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: GREAT TO SEE YOU 599 00:30:31,162 --> 00:30:31,596 AGAIN. 600 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:32,430 >> GREAT TO SEE YOU. 601 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:33,498 >> Stephen: THE BOOK IS "UNPROTECTED." 602 00:30:33,565 --> 00:30:35,033 IT'S AVAILABLE NOW, AND IT'S BILLY PORTER, EVERYBODY. 603 00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:38,636 BACK WITH THE STAR OF B POSITIVE ON CBS. 604 00:30:38,703 --> 00:30:40,805 ALAN SHEPHERD, STICK AROUND. 605 00:31:00,925 --> 00:31:07,765 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 606 00:31:07,832 --> 00:31:09,300 >> Stephen: WOW. 607 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:11,402 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A PRIVILEGE. 608 00:31:11,469 --> 00:31:13,371 WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 609 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:22,947 MY NEXT GUEST IS A TONY-AWARD WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM 610 00:31:23,014 --> 00:31:24,115 "MASTERS OF SEX," "IMPEACHMENT: AMERICAN CRIME STORY," AND 611 00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:25,049 "KINKY BOOTS." 612 00:31:25,116 --> 00:31:28,553 SHE NOW STARS IN THE CBS SHOW, "B POSITIVE." 613 00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:30,288 >> GOOD MORNING. 614 00:31:30,355 --> 00:31:31,489 IS IT? 615 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:34,659 YOU KIND OF LOOK LIKE MY DAUGHTER RIGHT BEFORE SHE WENT 616 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:35,793 INTO REHAB. 617 00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:39,264 >> HOW KIND OF YOU TO SAY. 618 00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:42,700 BACK IN THE DAY, I HAD A PERFECT HANGOVER CURE. 619 00:31:42,767 --> 00:31:44,802 >> OH, GOD, TELL ME. 620 00:31:44,869 --> 00:31:45,937 COCAINE. 621 00:31:46,004 --> 00:31:51,943 ( LAUGHTER ) >> THANK YOU. 622 00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:52,977 LOOK AT THAT BACON. 623 00:31:53,044 --> 00:31:56,681 EVERY DAY I ASK FOR SOFT, EVERY DAY I GET CRISPY. 624 00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:58,650 >> DON'T TELL ME, TELL HER. 625 00:31:58,716 --> 00:32:00,718 EVERY DAY -- I HEARD SCHU! 626 00:32:00,785 --> 00:32:03,087 I WILL TALK TO THE CHEF. 627 00:32:03,154 --> 00:32:08,626 >> HOW CAN YOU CALL A PERSON A CHEF WHEN THEY CAN'T COOK BACON? 628 00:32:08,693 --> 00:32:12,730 ( LAUGHTER ) >> MAY I JOIN YOU? 629 00:32:12,797 --> 00:32:16,434 PLEASE. 630 00:32:16,501 --> 00:32:17,368 WHAT? 631 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:20,805 ( LAUGHTER ) >> YOU FEEL AS BAD AS YOU LOOK? 632 00:32:20,872 --> 00:32:21,939 WORSE. 633 00:32:22,006 --> 00:32:25,910 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," ANNALEIGH 634 00:32:25,977 --> 00:32:28,813 ASHFORD. 635 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:38,856 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 636 00:32:38,923 --> 00:32:45,596 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 637 00:32:45,663 --> 00:32:47,131 >> MAN, I CAN'T -- >> Stephen: EXTRAORDINARY. 638 00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:48,800 I MEAN -- >> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU 639 00:32:48,866 --> 00:32:49,400 ON. 640 00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:50,835 >> SO GRATEFUL TO BE HERE. 641 00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:52,704 THERE'S AN AUDIENCE WITH PEOPLE! 642 00:32:52,770 --> 00:32:55,540 >> Stephen: I KNOW, ISN'T IT LOVELY? 643 00:32:55,606 --> 00:32:57,475 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HAVE YOU NOT BEEN IN FRONT OF AN 644 00:32:57,542 --> 00:32:57,942 AUDIENCE? 645 00:32:58,009 --> 00:32:58,743 >> NOT LIKE THIS. 646 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,445 I'M GOING TO GET A LITTLE TEARY EYE. 647 00:33:00,511 --> 00:33:01,412 IT'S A BIG DEAL. 648 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:04,682 >> Stephen: YOU'RE ON A BROADWAY STAGE AGAIN. 649 00:33:04,749 --> 00:33:06,050 >> FULL OUT TEARS, GETTING CHOKED UP. 650 00:33:06,117 --> 00:33:07,418 THIS IS A REAL THING. 651 00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:08,586 OH, MY GOD. 652 00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:13,991 >> Stephen: IS IT AT ALL IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM BECAUSE 653 00:33:14,058 --> 00:33:17,128 YOUR BILLY PORTER, CO-STAR FROM "KINKY BOOTS" IS HERE? 654 00:33:17,195 --> 00:33:18,329 >> WE HAD A REUNION. 655 00:33:18,396 --> 00:33:21,099 I GOT TO GO TO CHURCH IN HIS DRESSING ROOM. 656 00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:23,368 I CALL IT THE CHURCH OF BILLY PORTER. 657 00:33:23,434 --> 00:33:24,702 >> Stephen: HE'S ALWAYS PREACHING. 658 00:33:24,769 --> 00:33:29,674 >> I SAID, COULD WE PUT EVERY APPEARANCE HE'S EVER HAD IN A 659 00:33:29,741 --> 00:33:31,476 PODCAST AND YOU CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT WALKING AND LIFE AND BE A 660 00:33:31,542 --> 00:33:32,243 HUMAN. 661 00:33:32,310 --> 00:33:33,845 >> Stephen: NO ONE'S STOPPING YOU. 662 00:33:33,911 --> 00:33:35,480 >> BILLY PORTER PODCAST. 663 00:33:35,546 --> 00:33:36,681 THERE YOU GO. 664 00:33:36,748 --> 00:33:39,817 >> Stephen: LAST YEAR AND A HALF REALLY HIT THE COMMUNITY OF 665 00:33:39,884 --> 00:33:41,152 A THEATER REALLY HARD. 666 00:33:41,219 --> 00:33:43,221 YOU ATTENDED THE TONY AWARDS. 667 00:33:43,287 --> 00:33:49,060 I THINK I'VE GOT A PHOTO RIGHT HERE, RAN INTO YOUR FRIEND THERE 668 00:33:49,127 --> 00:33:50,328 JAKE GYLLENHAAL. 669 00:33:50,395 --> 00:33:53,931 WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO BE THERE AT THE TONY AWARDS THIS YEAR WHERE 670 00:33:53,998 --> 00:33:57,001 Y'ALL ARE CELEBRATING THEATER WHEN THERE WAS SO LITTLE THEATER 671 00:33:57,068 --> 00:34:00,071 THAT WAS ABLE TO GO ON IN THE PAST YEAR? 672 00:34:00,138 --> 00:34:03,007 BITTERSWEET IN SOME WAYS, I IMAGINE. 673 00:34:03,074 --> 00:34:04,208 >> SO BITTERSWEET. 674 00:34:04,275 --> 00:34:07,678 EVEN WHEN I WALKED IN TONIGHT, THERE ARE ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL 675 00:34:07,745 --> 00:34:12,183 THEATERS, THEY'RE OLD, MAJESTIC, THEY'RE HISTORIC, AND THEY HAVE 676 00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:14,218 A CERTAIN SMELL, THEY HAVE A CERTAIN SPIRIT. 677 00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:18,189 TONIGHT, I WALKED IN AND SMELLED THE RADIATOR AND IT MADE ME FEEL 678 00:34:18,256 --> 00:34:18,656 THE FEEL. 679 00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:20,124 >> Stephen: SURE. 680 00:34:20,191 --> 00:34:21,359 YOU KNOW. 681 00:34:21,426 --> 00:34:23,928 AND I WALKED IN THAT THEATER, AND THEY TOOK PLACE THIS YEAR AT 682 00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:29,700 THE WINTER GARDEN AND I WAS TOTALLY OVERWHELMED BY THE 683 00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:33,538 INCREDIBLE SPIRIT OF THIS COMMUNITY OF BROADWAY ACTORS AND 684 00:34:33,604 --> 00:34:36,808 THEATER WORKERS AND CREW AND EVERYBODY WHO'S JUST KIND OF 685 00:34:36,874 --> 00:34:38,443 MADE IT THROUGH. 686 00:34:38,509 --> 00:34:42,480 YOU KNOW, A LOT OF US HAVE GOTTEN TO GO BACK TO WORK IN 687 00:34:42,547 --> 00:34:46,617 SOME SHAPE OR OTHER BUT PEOPLE WHO DO PETER HAVEN'T. 688 00:34:46,684 --> 00:34:48,152 SO WE'RE BACK NOW. 689 00:34:48,219 --> 00:34:50,455 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT REALLY IS THE 690 00:34:50,521 --> 00:34:53,925 LIFEBLOOD, SPEEDS INTO ALL THE REST OF ENTERTAINMENT IN THE 691 00:34:53,991 --> 00:34:55,326 UNITED STATES. 692 00:34:55,393 --> 00:34:57,328 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU'RE PART OF THE 693 00:34:57,395 --> 00:35:00,364 CBS FAMILY. 694 00:35:00,431 --> 00:35:03,301 YOUR SHOW B POSITIVE IS IN THE SECOND SEASON. 695 00:35:03,367 --> 00:35:04,735 WHAT AN EXTRAORDINARY CAST. 696 00:35:04,802 --> 00:35:09,240 LOOK AT THE CLIP, HECTOR ALZANO. 697 00:35:09,307 --> 00:35:14,011 LINDA LAVIN, YOU, I MEAN, DO YOU EVER JUST LOOK AROUND AND SAY I 698 00:35:14,078 --> 00:35:16,881 CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SHARING A SOUND STAGE WITH THESE PEOPLE? 699 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:17,949 >> ALL THE TIME. 700 00:35:18,015 --> 00:35:21,953 THE FACT THEY'RE IN MY PHONE MAKES ME FEEL SO COOL. 701 00:35:22,019 --> 00:35:25,490 >> Stephen: DO YOU MAKE UP NAMES FOR FAMOUS PEOPLE? 702 00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:31,195 BECAUSE I PUT IN FAKE NAMES FOR PEOPLE IN CASE SOMEONE GETS MY 703 00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:31,729 PHONE. 704 00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:32,697 >> I USUALLY DO THAT. 705 00:35:32,763 --> 00:35:36,901 I USUALLY PUT WHAT THING I'VE DONE WITH THEM. 706 00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:41,906 LIKE LINDA LAVI IN IS B POSITIVE. 707 00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:42,840 >> Stephen: SURE. 708 00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:48,613 CONAN O'BRIEN IS IN MY PHONE AS PALE MALE. 709 00:35:48,679 --> 00:35:53,951 ( LAUGHTER ) NOW I HAVE TO CHANGE IT. 710 00:35:54,018 --> 00:35:55,186 >> AMAZING. 711 00:35:55,253 --> 00:35:56,821 >> Stephen: THIS YEAR, WE HAVE A CLIP HERE BECAUSE THE OPENING 712 00:35:56,888 --> 00:35:59,524 CREDITS ARE A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT THIS YEAR. 713 00:35:59,590 --> 00:36:03,427 I GOT BROADWAY'D UP A LITTLE BIT. 714 00:36:03,494 --> 00:36:04,428 JIM? 715 00:36:04,495 --> 00:36:05,930 ♪ THE MORE YOU GIVE ♪ ♪ THE MORE YOU LIVE ♪ 716 00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:09,867 ♪ YOUR HAPPINESS ♪ ♪ IS RELATIVE ♪ 717 00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:13,137 ♪ AND IF YOU'RE FEELING LIKE CRAP ♪ 718 00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:17,742 ♪ IT'S TIME TO FACE THE FACT ♪ ♪ YOUR PREROGATIVE ♪ 719 00:36:17,808 --> 00:36:24,482 ♪ TO BE POSITIVE ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 720 00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:27,251 >> Stephen: LOVELY. 721 00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:28,486 VERY POSITIVE. 722 00:36:28,553 --> 00:36:31,055 ARE YOU ALWAYS KIND OF HOPING THEY WILL GO, MAYBE WE CAN PUT A 723 00:36:31,122 --> 00:36:33,224 LITTLE SINGING AND DANCING TO THIS. 724 00:36:33,291 --> 00:36:34,692 WAS THAT YOUR IDEA? 725 00:36:34,759 --> 00:36:37,929 >> I WAS CHUCK LORI'S IDEA. 726 00:36:37,995 --> 00:36:40,031 I SAID, I'D LOVE TO. 727 00:36:40,097 --> 00:36:45,836 I SAID CAN WE FIND SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMERS WHO HAPPENED TO BE 728 00:36:45,903 --> 00:36:46,904 SYNCHRONIZED CITIZENS? 729 00:36:46,971 --> 00:36:53,945 WE FOUND A GROUP CALLED THE AQUA-DETS FROM 60 TO 90. 730 00:36:54,011 --> 00:37:01,152 IT'S LIKE FERN, AQUA DEDET, B POSITIVE, LOTS OF TABLES. 731 00:37:01,218 --> 00:37:02,320 THEY'RE INCREDIBLE. 732 00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:05,923 WE HAD ALL THE INCREDIBLE DANCERS IN L.A. WHO THEY ARE MY 733 00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:10,795 ELDERS AS WELL AND THEY WERE AMAZING AT TAP DANCING AS 734 00:37:10,861 --> 00:37:11,395 WALKERS. 735 00:37:11,462 --> 00:37:12,496 IT WAS A REALLY GOOD TIME. 736 00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:20,705 >> Stephen: AT THE END OF THE SUMMER, WE HAD THE GREAT 737 00:37:20,771 --> 00:37:23,507 STEPSTEPHEN SONHEIM ON. 738 00:37:23,574 --> 00:37:29,013 YOU AND JAKE GYLLENHAAL DID SUNNY IN THE PARK 2004, A 739 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,181 BRILLIANT PRODUCTION. 740 00:37:30,247 --> 00:37:35,519 AND WHEN I HAD STEVE ON, I REITERATED TO HIM HOW IMPORTANT 741 00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:37,755 IT WAS TO HIM. 742 00:37:37,822 --> 00:37:41,792 AS SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN IN THE SHOW, PLAYED DODDEN, KNOWS THE 743 00:37:41,859 --> 00:37:45,463 SHOW INTIMATELY, DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE PART OF THAT 744 00:37:45,529 --> 00:37:46,631 EXTRAORDINARY MUSICAL? 745 00:37:46,697 --> 00:37:49,834 >> I HAVE MANY FAVORITE PARTS BUT MY MOST FAVORITE IS THE 746 00:37:49,900 --> 00:37:55,406 INTRO INTO THE SONG "CHILDREN AND ART," WHEN MARIE SAYS, THERE 747 00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:59,243 ARE ONLY TWO WORTH WHILE THINGS TO LEAVE BEHIND WHEN YOU DEPART 748 00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:00,778 THIS WORLD, CHILDREN AND ART. 749 00:38:00,845 --> 00:38:03,047 AND THAT, I THINK, SORT OF SAYS IT ALL. 750 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:08,119 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I'LL ASK YOU WHAT 751 00:38:08,185 --> 00:38:11,922 I ASKED BILLY WHICH IS SOMETHING WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE THE 752 00:38:11,989 --> 00:38:12,623 SHOW. 753 00:38:12,690 --> 00:38:14,492 WHAT INSPIRES YOU ARTISTICALLY? 754 00:38:14,558 --> 00:38:19,230 >> WHAT INSPIRES ME ARTISTICALLY IS THE POSSIBILITY OF A STORY 755 00:38:19,296 --> 00:38:19,997 CHANGING SOMEBODY. 756 00:38:20,064 --> 00:38:23,968 LIKE PUTTING IT TOGETHER DID YOU. 757 00:38:24,035 --> 00:38:27,371 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES PEOPLE ASK YOU, OH, WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU 758 00:38:27,438 --> 00:38:31,242 WANTED TO DO THIS CRAZY THING THAT YOU DO? 759 00:38:31,308 --> 00:38:34,311 AND I REMEMBER BEING A LITTLE PERSON, KNOWING THAT STORIES 760 00:38:34,378 --> 00:38:37,815 MADE ME FEEL GOOD, THEY MADE ME FEEL DIFFERENT, BUT, MORE THAN 761 00:38:37,882 --> 00:38:40,918 THAT, THEY TAUGHT ME SOMETHING, THEY TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A 762 00:38:40,985 --> 00:38:44,488 BETTER PERSON, AND I'M ALWAYS STRUCK AT THE CAPACITY THAT A 763 00:38:44,555 --> 00:38:49,093 STORY HAS TO CHANGE US AND MAKE US FEEL BETTER, AND I THINK 764 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,862 SUNNY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE IS ONE OF THE GREAT PIECES OF ART 765 00:38:51,929 --> 00:38:55,666 THAT JUST CONTINUES TO EVOLVE IN WHAT IT TEACHES YOU THROUGHOUT 766 00:38:55,733 --> 00:38:56,967 YOUR LIFE. 767 00:38:57,034 --> 00:39:01,706 THERE'S A CHORD STRUCTURE IN THE SHOW THAT DOESN'T RESOLVE, IT'S 768 00:39:01,772 --> 00:39:04,742 IN MINOR, AND MOVES ON. 769 00:39:04,809 --> 00:39:06,877 YOU WILL HAVE TO GET THE ALBUM. 770 00:39:06,944 --> 00:39:11,482 IT RESOLVES, SO I GUESS THE LESSON IS THERE'S ALWAYS A 771 00:39:11,549 --> 00:39:12,583 RESOLVE. 772 00:39:12,650 --> 00:39:13,851 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELL, MY FAVORITE 773 00:39:13,918 --> 00:39:18,956 LINE FROM CHILDREN AND ART, AND I APPLY THIS TO YOU AS AN ARTIST 774 00:39:19,023 --> 00:39:25,062 OR BILLY OR ANYONE OUT THERE, IS THAT THE FAVORITE LINE IS THE 775 00:39:25,129 --> 00:39:29,934 CHILDREN ARE SWEET AND THE GIRLS ARE SO RAPTUROUS, ISN'T IT 776 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,671 LOVELY HOW ARTISTS CAN CAPTURE US. 777 00:39:33,738 --> 00:39:35,372 AND IT WAS LOVELY YOU COULD BE HERE. 778 00:39:35,439 --> 00:39:36,640 THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANNALEIGH. 779 00:39:36,707 --> 00:39:37,408 >> THANK YOU. 780 00:39:37,475 --> 00:39:39,076 >> Stephen: THANK YOU. 781 00:39:39,143 --> 00:39:42,947 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: BASS AIRS 782 00:39:43,013 --> 00:39:43,614 THURSDAYS 9:30 ON CBS. 783 00:39:43,681 --> 00:39:45,683 ANNALEIGH ASHFORD, EVERYBODY. 784 00:39:45,750 --> 00:39:52,723 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 785 00:39:52,790 --> 00:39:53,591 >> THANK YOU! 786 00:39:53,657 --> 00:39:57,862 GOD BLESS YOU, AND LET'S GO ON THE COURT. 787 00:39:57,928 --> 00:40:00,598 >> SURE, COVID RISES AND THE COURTS WILL BE RESTRICTED BY THE 788 00:40:00,664 --> 00:40:05,736 IMPORTANT THING IS A RICH GUY HAD FUN. 789 00:40:05,803 --> 00:40:07,338 HAVE ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE, BUDDY. 790 00:40:21,285 --> 00:40:22,486 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 791 00:40:22,553 --> 00:40:25,856 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE TONY HALE. 792 00:40:25,923 --> 00:40:27,758 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 793 00:40:27,825 --> 00:40:28,392 GOOD NIGHT.