>> A NEW STUDY REVEALS NOT ONLY
IS COVID 19 TRANSMISSIBLE THROUGH HUMANS, IT ALSO CAN BE
PASSED THROUGH DEER.
RESEARCHERS FOUND COVID 19 ANTIBODIES IN DEERSKIN SAMPLES
WHICH LED TO THE DISCOVERY.
>> THEY BELIEVE SOME OF THE POPULATION WAS INFECTED BY
HUMANS, AND THEY BECAME SUPERSPREADERS.
( CHRISTMAS MUSIC ) >> ALL RIGHT, REINDEER, TIME TO
GET READY FOR THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!
>> BACK OFF, FAT MAN, OR YOU WILL GIVE US ALL COVID!
>> I'M IMMUNIZED.
I WENT WITH AARON RODGERS.
>> HE'S LYING!
FINE, I'M NOT VACCINATED.
I DON'T WANT MY JINGLE BALLS TO SWELL UP LIKE NICKI MINAJ'S
COUSIN'S FRIEND.
BESIDES, COVID IS A MYTH LIKE THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN.
>> WHAT AN IDIOT!
SORRY, SANTA.
WE WON'T PULL YOUR FLYING SLEIGH THIS YEAR.
>> ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT MYSELF.
SIR, YOU HAVE TO WEAR A MASK.
I'M NOT WEARING A MASK.
I'M IN AN AMERICAN.
LET'S GO BRANDON!
UNHAND ME!
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) TONIGHT, LEFT BEHIND.
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES BILLY PORTER!
AND ANNALEIGH ASHFORD!
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN."
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
P ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( THEME SONG PLAYING )
>> Stephen: HEY!
HEY!
>> Announcer: THANK YOU -- >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR
BEING HERE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND I'M GOING TO START OFF
TONIGHT -- I WOULD LIKE TO WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY DUWALI.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW,
IT'S THE SOUTH ASIAN RELIGIOUS FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS THAT
CELEBRATES THE "VICTORY OF LIGHT OVER DARKNESS, GOOD OVER EVIL,
AND KNOWLEDGE OVER IGNORANCE."
SO BASICALLY, "TED LASSO."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
WE'RE STILL DIGESTING THE THE DEMOCRATS DID NOT HAVE A
GOOD NIGHT, BUT IT WAS PRIMARILY TWO STATES WHERE, HISTORICALLY,
THE PARTY IN THE WHITE HOUSE LOSES.
AND THE DEMOCRATS NARROWLY HELD ONTO ONE OF THEM, NEW JERSEY.
SO, DISAPPOINTING.
BUT A MIXED BAG.
OR, AS CABLE NEWS PUT IT: >> A FIVE ALARM FIRE FOR
DEMOCRATS.
>> FIVE-ALARM FIRE.
>> NO SILVER LININGS.
>> MAJOR SETBACKS ON ELECTION DAY.
>> THE ANATOMY, REALLY, OF A DEMOCRATIC MELTDOWN.
A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MELTDOWN.
>> YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM, AND YOU'RE A
DEMOCRAT IN POWER?
YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED IN THE MIRROR THIS MORNING.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) >> STEPHEN: AND IF YOU COULDN'T
STOP LOOKING IN THE MIRROR THIS MORNING, YOU'RE CHUCK TODD.
THE MEDIA, WHO ALL LIVE I ( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF ) ( APPLAUSE )
THE MEDIA, WHO ALL LIVE IN VIRGINIA OR NEW JERSEY,
COINCIDENTALLY, ARE FREAKING OUT SO BADLY THAT NBC IS LAUNCHING A
NEW SUNDAY SHOW: "SEDATE THE PRESS."
( LAUGHTER ) THE MEDIA'S NOT ALONE IN
OVER-REACTING.
ONE FORMER OFFICIAL COMPARED TUESDAY'S LOSSES TO THE LAST
BIG OFF-YEAR DISASTER FOR DEMOCRATS, SAYING, "THIS IS 2009
ALL OVER AGAIN."
YES, BACK IN 2009, AMERICANS WERE ALL ENJOYING THE OLD MAN IN
"UP."
AND NOW WE'VE ELECTED THAT MAN PRESIDENT.
WAIT, WE BETTER CHECK ON HIM.
DON'T GO, JOE!
MAYBE YOU'LL PASS INFRASTRUCTURE BY THE MIDTERMS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IN RESPONSE TO THEIR DEFEATS,
CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS HAVE VOWED TO PASS THE "BUILD BACK
BETTER" PLAN.
ESPECIALLY SENATE MAJORITY WHIP, AND MAN FAILING TO "NAY NAY,"
DICK DURBIN.
DURBIN SAID OF THE POOR SHOWINGS IN NEW JERSEY AND VIRGINIA
"I THINK IT'S AN ACCELERANT.
IT'S TIME FOR US TO GO TO WORK."
A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT!
(AS COLLEGE STUDENT) "OKAY, I KNOW I GOT A BAD
MIDTERM REPORT CARD, SO I'M REALLY GOING TO BUCKLE DOWN.
AND STUDY.
STARTING TOMORROW.
FIRST, I GOT TO POLISH OFF ALL THE COORS LIGHTS IN THE FRIDGE
AND SMOKE A LITTLE OF THIS.
ANYONE GOT ANY ACCELERANT?" ( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF ) ONE OF THE REASONS CONGRESS
HASN'T DONE MORE-- OR ANY-- IS CONTINUED OPPOSITION FROM
MODERATES JOE MANCHIN AND KYRSTEN SINEMA, AND DEMOCRATS
ARE GETTING SICK OF IT.
TAKE ARIZONA REPRESENTATIVE AND SINGING SNOWMAN, RAUL GRIJALVA.
GRIJALVA COMPLAINED THAT THERE'S A CODE OF SILENCE AROUND MANCHIN
AND SINEMA, EXPLAINING, "WE'RE MAD AT THEM, BUT WE CAN'T SAY
ANYTHING, BECAUSE IT MIGHT MAKE THEM WEIRDER."
( LAUGHTER ) WEIRDER THAN PRESIDING OVER
THE U.S. SENATE WEARING HARLEY CASUAL?
( LAUGHTER ) (AS SINEMA)
"DON'T TEST ME, PROGRESSIVES!
I HAVE SASSY PATCHES AND I WILL IRON THEM ON!"
( APPLAUSE ) IT'S A GOOD LOOK -- SLEEVELESS.
AND THE WEIRDNESS HAS ALREADY STARTED WITH JOE MANCHIN.
HERE'S FOOTAGE OF HIM NEGOTIATING WITH CHUCK SCHUMER
TODAY: ♪♪
( LAUGHTER )
>> STEPHEN: POINT IS, THE DEMOCRATS HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
AND THEY ARE...
ISH.
LAST WEEK, BECAUSE OF MANCHIN'S OPPOSITION, DEMOCRATS TOOK
PAID FAMILY LEAVE OUT OF THE "BUILD BACK BETTER" BILL.
BUT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED IN VIRGINIA, NOW, THE HOUSE HAS
ADDED A PROVISION TO PROVIDE FOUR WEEKS OF FEDERALLY-PAID
FAMILY AND MEDICAL LEAVE.
OKAY.
THAT'S SOMETHING.
IT'S NOT WHAT ANYONE ASKED FOR, BUT IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING.
COINCIDENTALLY, THAT'S ALSO THE SLOGAN OF RC COLA.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
THE ELECTION WASN'T ALL DOOM AND GLOOM.
ON TUESDAY, DETROIT VOTED TO DECRIMINALIZE PSYCHEDELIC
MUSHROOMS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) FINALLY!
DETROIT HAS SOLVED ITS ONLY PROBLEM!
STARTING NOW, IN THE MOTOR CITY, POSSESSION AND USE OF MAGIC
MUSHROOMS BY ADULTS IS THE CITY'S LOWEST LAW-ENFORCEMENT
PRIORITY.
NOT THAT IT WAS A BIG LAW ENFORCEMENT CHALLENGE BEFORE.
IT'S PRETTY EASY TO ARREST SOMEONE WHO'S SPENT THE LAST
40 MINUTES IN THE CEREAL AISLE WEEPING WHILE LOOKING AT A BOX
OF FROOT LOOPS.
"THEY'RE ALL MY CHILDREN."
( LAUGHTER ) "THEY'RE ALL MY CHILDREN."
MUSHROOMS HAVE BEEN GAINING ACCEPTANCE RECENTLY, AS DOCTORS
HAVE FOUND THEY CAN BE USED TO TREAT A VARIETY OF PSYCHOLOGICAL
ISSUES, INCLUDING DEPRESSION.
MUCH NEEDED IN DETROIT.
WITH THIS HELP, THEY MAY ONE DAY BE ABLE TO WATCH THE LIONS.
-- WATCH THE LIONS PLAY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
REALLY, REALLY?
THERE ARE THAT MANY LIONS FANS HERE TONIGHT?
GET SOME MAGIC M MUSHROOMS, MY FRIEND.
( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
I CAN MAKE THAT JOKE BECAUSE IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I LOVE
SPORT.
( LAUGHTER ) THE SMELL OF A NEW BASEBALL
MITT; THE SMELL OF THE FRESHLY CUT GRASS; THE SMELL OF THE
POPCORN.
I MOSTLY LIKE SMELLS.
THERE'S SPORT-NEWS ABOUT GREEN BAY PACKERS QUARTERBACK AARON
RODGERS, SEEN HERE NOTICING A CLOUD THAT LOOKS LIKE A BUTT.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS WEEK, RODGERS TESTED
POSITIVE FOR COVID.
OKAY, NOT A HUGE DEAL.
PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES TEST POSITIVE FOR A LOT OF THINGS.
BUT HERE'S THE KICKER-- WHICH IS A FOOTBALL TERM:
NEWS BROKE THAT RODGERS IS NOT VACCINATED.
ACCORDING TO N.F.L. RULES, THAT MEANS HE HAS TO MISS SUNDAY'S
GAME, AND SIT OUT THE NEXT FIVE STATE FARM COMMERCIALS.
( LAUGHTER ) GOING TO BE TOUGH ON JAKE TO
CARRY THE TEAM WITHOUT HIM.
( APPLAUSE ) BROAD SHOULDERS, THOUGH.
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A RED SWEATER.
THIS IS A BIG DEAL, BECAUSE RODGERS HAS WORKED REALLY HARD
TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION THAT HE'S VACCINATED.
HERE'S WHAT HE SAID RIGHT BEFORE THE START OF THE SEASON:
>> ARE YOU VACCINATED, AND WHAT'S YOUR STANCE ON-- ON
VACCINATIONS?
>> YEAH, I'VE BEEN IMMUNIZED.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LOT OF CONVERSATION AROUND IT, AROUND
THE LEAGUE, AND THE GUYS WHO HAVE MADE STATEMENTS-- AND I
MADE STATEMENTS, OWNERS THAT MADE STATEMENTS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S REALLY VAGUE.
HE BETTER NOT TALK THAT WAY IN THE HUDDLE.
OKAY, BRING IT IN.
THE NEXT PLAY IS A RUN, OR MAYBE A PASS?
THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF CONVERSATIONS AROUND IT, AND THE
COACH HAS MADE A STATEMENT IN MY HELMET, BUT THE MAIN POINT IS...
LET ME BREATHE ON YOU."
( LAUGHTER ) >> Jon: OH, NO.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT
RODGERS SAID HE WAS "IMMUNIZED."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN VACCINATED.
TURNS OUT, RODGERS PURSUED AN ALTERNATIVE TREATMENT, AND THEN
PETITIONED THE N.F.L. TO RECOGNIZE HIM AS VACCINATED.
THE N.F.L. REFUSED, BECAUSE IT WAS A "HOMEOPATHIC TREATMENT
FROM HIS PERSONAL DOCTOR TO RAISE HIS ANTIBODY LEVELS."
UH, OH, MY GOOP SENSES ARE TINGLING!
( LAUGHTER ) MM-MM-MM...
( LAUGHTER ) I'M NO EXPERT, BUT I'M GUESSING
IT'S A LOT EASIER TO JUST PLAY FOOTBALL WITH A SHOT IN YOUR ARM
THAN A JADE EGG WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE.
( APPLAUSE ) THEN AGAIN, THEY ARE CALLED
"THE PACKERS."
>> Jon: OH, MY GOSH!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: FOOTBALL PLAYERS
AREN'T THE ONLY ONES TESTING POSITIVE.
A NEW STUDY FOUND THAT THE MAJORITY OF IOWA'S WHITE-TAILED
DEER MAY ALREADY BE INFECTED WITH THE CORONAVIRUS.
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT DEER PREFER OUTDOOR DINING!
NO SURPRISE-- IT APPEARS THE DEER ARE GETTING SICK FROM
HUMANS.
THAT MEANS IOWA HUNTERS ARE KILLING THESE DEER FROM LESS
THAN SIX FEET AWAY.
"SCREW THIS GUN, I'M GOING TO STRANGLE THIS BASTARD.
DIE!
LOOK IN MY EYES!
OIM GOING TO CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF,MOUNT IT ON MY WALL!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I REALLY GOT INTO
CHARACTER THERE FOR A MOMENT.
I HOPE I DIDN'T UPSET ANYBODY.
THE REAL CONCERN HERE IS THAT THE DEER MIGHT TRANSMIT COVID
BACK TO HUMANS, IN WHICH CASE THE ANIMALS COULD BECOME A
RESERVOIR FOR THE VIRUS.
IT'S A NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, THAT'S ALSO THE PLOT OF QUENTIN
TARANTINO'S NEXT FILM: "RESERVOIR DEER."
( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MY GUESTS ARE BILLY PORTER AND
ANNALEIGH ASHFORD.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OH, STICK AROUND.
♪♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
OH, PLEASE SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN" AND
FRIENDS.
AND FRIENDS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: HEY!
>> Stephen: JON, I'M VERY EXCITED BECAUSE OUR DEAR FRIEND
BILLY PORTER IS GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT IN JUST A MOMENT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND, OF COURSE, VERY TALENTED
ANNALEIGH ASHFORD, TONY WINNER IS GOING TO BE HERE AS WELL
CBS'S "B POSITIVE."
WHO IS JOINING YOU ON THE BAND STAND?
>> Jon: WE HAVE KENNY GARRETT ON THE ALTO SAXOPHONE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: KENNY.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR ART WITH US THIS
EVENING, ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE A JAZZ MESSENGER UP THERE.
>> Jon: OH, YES.
>> Stephen: FOLKS, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW,
I SPEND A LOT OF TIME RIGHT OVER THERE, GATHERING THE FRESHEST,
NEWSIEST HEADLINE FLOWERS, SCOURING THE FIELDS AND FORESTS
FOR THE MOST TOPICAL AND FRAGRANT SYLVAN NEWS BOUGHS, AND
JOKIEST FESTIVE GOURDS, THEN CAREFULLY ASSEMBLING AND
ARRANGING THEM ALL INTO THE GRAND YET TASTEFUL STATE
DINNER-WORTHY CENTERPIECE THAT IS MY NIGHTLY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS, I RUB SOME LEAD PAINT CHIPS INTO
MY GUMS, STAGGER INTO THE WOODS WITH NOTHING BUT A STAPLE GUN
AND SOME EMPTY CANS OF SPRAY PAINT, THEN, BY THE LIGHT OF A
TIRE-FIRE, USING SMASHED LARVAE AND MY OWN SALIVA AS GLUE, I
COBBLE TOGETHER A CRUDE PILE OF PUNKY WOOD AND ANIMAL SKULLS TO
PRESENT TO YOU THE UNHINGED LONER'S CORNUCOPIA OF NEWS THAT
IS MY SEGMENT: "MEANWHILE!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DON'T ASK ME, ASK MEANWHILE.
MEANWHILE KNOWS ALL, TELLS ALL.
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, LADY GAGA JUST BECAME
THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO BE ON THE COVER OF BOTH BRITISH
"VOGUE" AND "VOGUE ITALIA" AT THE SAME TIME.
IMPRESSIVE.
>> Stephen: O -- >> Jon: OH, MY.
>> Stephen: REALLY IMPRESSIVE.
THOUGH I'VE GOT TO SAY, IT LOOKS LIKE SHE WAS VERY PREPARED FOR
THE FIRST ONE, AND A LITTLE CAUGHT OFF-GUARD BY THE SECOND.
ANOTHER ONE?
QUICK!
CUT A HOLE IN A BATH MAT!
I'LL MAKE IT WORK!
LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GOING TO A HALLOWEEN PARTY DRESSED AS A
TONGUE.
( LAUGHTER ) SOMEONE LEFT THE GRIMACE OUT IN
THE SUN.
MEANWHILE, "SEX AND THE CITY" FANS REJOICE, BECAUSE "CARRIE
BRADSHAW'S APARTMENT IS GOING UP FOR RENT ON AIRBNB."
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) (TYPES ON LAPTOP)
"ALTHOUGH I COULDN'T HELP BUT WONDER... WAS THIS ALL JUST A
TRANSPARENT MARKETING PLOY TO WRING THE LAST DREGS OF CASH
FROM 'SEX AND THE CITY' FANS?
(CHUCKLES) I'M SUCH A MIRANDA."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'M A CHARLOTTE.
FOR TWO NIGHTS ONLY, LUCKY GUESTS WILL ENJOY THE STORIED
APARTMENT FOR JUST "$23 A NIGHT, A NOD TO THE SHOW'S 23-YEAR
HISTORY."
AND IT'S ALSO A CELEBRATION OF HOW THE WRITERS OF "SEX AND THE
CITY" HAD NO CLUE HOW MUCH THINGS COST.
( LAUGHTER ) SHE'S A ONCE-WEEKLY LOCAL
NEWSPAPER COLUMNIST.
SHE COULDN'T LIVE ALONE IN A SWANKY APARTMENT ON THE UPPER
EAST SIDE!
SHE WOULD HAVE SIX INSANE ROOMMATES IN A BELOW-GROUND
STUDIO IN SHEEPSHEAD BAY, AND WORK NIGHTS AT THE SBARRO IN
PENN STATION, AND SHE HAS TO SHOWER IN THE KITCHEN SINK.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
VISITORS WILL GET THE FULL "SEX AND THE CITY" EXPERIENCE, AS
SARAH JESSICA PARKER WILL VIRTUALLY GREET THE VISITORS AT
CHECK-IN, AND THEY'LL BE TREATED TO A STYLING SESSION AND PHOTO
SHOOT.
NOT EXACTLY MY THING, BUT DEFINITELY BETTER THAN THE
"GAME OF THRONES" AIRBNB, WHICH IS IN AN AUTHENTIC BURNING
CASTLE, COMPLETE WITH A PERSONAL GREETING FROM ARYA, WHO KILLS
YOU AND THEN WEARS YOUR FACE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, POTATO WATCHERS THINK
THEY HAVE FOUND "THE WORLD'S LARGEST POTATO."
OAY.
WE'VE ALL HEARD THAT BEFORE.
JIM, LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
I'M SORRY, CAN SOMEONE MOVE THAT CURSED HOMUNCULUS OUT OF THE
WAY?
I'D LIKE TO SEE THE POTATO.
WHAT?
THAT IS SPUDS MC-CRAZY!
WHERE DID THEY FIND THIS THING?
THE ISLAND OF DOCTOR POTATO?
THIS IS THE FARMER WHO FOUND IT, COLIN CRAIG-BROWN-- SEEN HERE,
ONE ASSUMES, BREAST FEEDING THE POTATO.
HE AND HIS WIFE ARE FARMERS IN NEW ZEALAND WHO SAY THEY "WERE
WEEDING THEIR GARDEN WHEN HIS HOE STRUCK SOMETHING HUGE," SO
"HE SCRATCHED AWAY A BIT OF THE SKIN AND TASTED IT."
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT NEW ZEALANDERS.
THEIR SENSE OF ADVENTURE.
THEY SEE THIS THING BIRTHED FROM THEIR YARD, AND THEIR FIRST
THOUGHT IS, "SWEET AS!
IT LOOKS LIKE A MUMMIFIED CHIMPANZEE ASS.
BETTER GIVE IT A LICK."
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, "THE BEST CHEESE IN
THE WORLD HAS BEEN NAMED."
THE CHEESE IS CALLED OLAVIDIA, AND ACCORDING TO ONE OF THE
JUDGES, "THE CHEESE STOLE MY HEART.
IT'S LIKE NOTHING I'VE SEEN BEFORE.
IT HAD AN INCREDIBLY RICH, UNCTUOUS, CREAMY TEXTURE.
IT WAS PILLOWY, WARM, AND COMFORTING, AND THE FLAVOR WAS
RICH, ROUND AND LONG.
I JUST WANTED TO GO TO BED WITH IT."
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW IF WE FOUND THE
WORLD'S BEST CHEESE, BUT WE HAVE FOUND THE WORLD'S LONELIEST
JUDGE.
( APPLAUSE ) "THIS CHEESE JUST GETS ME.
IT LISTENS.
WE BOTH LOVE LAYING ON CRACKERS, AND NEITHER OF US WANTS KIDS.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO GO BANG THIS CHEESE."
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, "IKEA HAS MADE
SOUND-ABSORBING CURTAINS TO BROKER PEACE BETWEEN NOISY
ROOMMATES."
PERFECT, IF YOU'RE ROOMMATES WITH THAT HORNY CHEESE FREAK.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BILLY PORTER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME BACK.
MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS THE EMMY, TONY, AND GRAMMY-WINNING
PERFORMER YOU KNOW FROM HIS TIME ON BROADWAY, HIS STARRING ROLE
ON "POSE," AND HIS SHOW-STOPPING RED-CARPET STYLE.
PLEASE WELCOME BILLY PORTER!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪
>> YAY!
OH, SHOOT!
THEY'RE PLAYING MY SONG!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN" ARE
PLAYING MY NEW SONG!
CHILDREN!
HEY, GOT TO LET THE CHILDREN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!
>> Stephen: SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
>> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO!
>> Stephen: BEFORE WE GET STARTED, THERE'S SO MUCH TO TALK
ABOUT.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: FIRST, I WANT TO TO YOU ABOUT THIS -- YOU
RECENTLY -- YOU MADE SOME COMMENTS ABOUT HARRY STILES
VOGUE COVER.
QUICKLY, IF YOU CAN EXPLAIN TO THE AUDIENCE WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT
YOU SAID AND WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY.
>> Stephen: APPARENTLY, I'M FAMOUS NOW, AND IT WAS A SLOW
NEWS DAY, SO THE FIRST THING I WANT TO SAY IS, HARRY STILES, I
APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR HAVING YOUR NAME IN MY MOUTH.
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
THE CONVERSATION IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
RIGHT.
>> Stephen: FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW.
HARRY STILES WAS THE FIRST MAN TO APPEAR ON THE COVER OF VOGUE.
>> IN A DRESS.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
AND, SO, THE CONVERSATION IS ACTUALLY DEEPER THAN THAT.
IT IS ABOUT THE SYSTEMS OF OPPRESSION AND ERAY SURE OF
PEOPLE WHO CONTRIBUTE TO THE CULTURE OF COLOR.
THAT'S A LOT TO UNPACK.
I'M WILLING TO UNPACK IT.
SONS OF THE DRAGGING AND CANCEL CULTURE OF THE INTERNET BECAUSE
I DO NOT NOW NOR WILL EVER ADJUDICATE MY LIFE IN SOUND
BYTES ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
SO WHEN YOU'RE READY TO HAVE THE RILE CONVERSATION, CALL IT IN.
OKAY?
I'M READY TO HAVE IT!
AND I'M SORRY, HARRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN NO HARM.
I'M A GAY MAN.
WE LIKE HARRY, HE'S CUTE!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: ARE YOU SURPRISED
THIS COMMENT BLEW UP THE WAY IT DID?
>> I AM SURPRISED BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER THINGS THAT
ARE IMPORTANT ON THIS EARTH TO BE TALKING ABOUT.
IT'S JUST WEIRD.
>> Stephen: LET'S DO IT, THEN.
YES, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THANK YOU FOR SENDING
TE SHOES.
>> YES!
>> Stephen: OKAY, THIS MID SUMMER YOU SENT ME -- YOU'RE
DESIGNING FOR JIMMY CHU.
>> YES, I HAVE A COLLECTION WITH JIMMY CHU.
IT'S GENDERLESS, ANY SIZE FOR ANY SHOE, AND ALL THE PROCEEDS
GO TO THE TREVOR PROJECT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES.
>> Stephen: WELL, I WAS THRILLED TO GET IT.
I ALWAYS SAID, YOU'VE GOT A PRESENT FROM BILLY PORTER.
WHAT COULD IT BE?
I OPEN IT UP AND THERE ARE THESE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL SHOES,
THEY'RE LOAFERS WITH TASSELS.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: A ZEBRA PRINT OR LEOPARD?
>> BROWN ZEBRA.
>> Stephen: I SAID, HAND TO GOD, I'M GOING TO WEAR THESE TO
OBAMA'S 60th BIRTHDAY PARTY.
>> OH.
>> Stephen: AND I'M GOING TO WEAR A NICE ZENNIA TAN SUIT,
DARK SHIRT AND ZEBRA PRINT SHOES.
I GOT UNINVITED.
( LAUGHTER ) THE HEAD REASONLINE IS I GOT
UNINVITED TO OBAMA'S PARTY WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE IF I HAD COME IN
YOUR SHOES, NO ONE WOULD HAVE MADE APENSION TO OBAMA.
BUT I DID TAKE A PHOTO AND SEND IT TO YOU BECAUSE I DID WANT TO
WEAR THEM.
THIS IS WHAT I WAS DOING THE NIGHT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT THAT
PARTY.
THIS IS ME IN THE SHOES.
>> OH, I LOVE THAT YOU LIKE MY SHOES!
YAY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I LOVE IT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THEY'RE
GOODLOOKIN'!
WHERE DO I WEAR THEM?
DO YOU HAVE A RECOMMENDATION?
>> WEAR THEM EVERY DAY ALL DAY.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A SPECIAL OCCASION.
WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT WHENEVER YOU WANT TO WEAR THEM.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT AS SPECIAL AS YOU ARE.
I NEED SPECIAL OCCASIONS.
EVERYWHERE YOU GO ENDS UP FEELING A LITTLE BIT SPECIAL.
NOW, YOU'VE WRITTEN A NEW MEMOIR.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
I WROTE A WHOLE BOOK, Y'ALL!
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED UNPROTECTED, AND THIS IS -- IT
REALLY TELLS THE STORY OF WHAT IT TOOK TO BECOME THE BILLY
PORTER THAT WE ALL KNOW TODAY.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU DELVE INTO SOME DIFFICULT TOPICS, AND HOW
DOES IT FEEL TO SHARE YOUR STORY WITH THE WORLD?
>> YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN VERY HEALING, THE JOURNEY HAS BEEN
VERY HEALING.
YOU KNOW, MOST OF IT WAS WRITTEN IN COVID, AND I DISCOVERED HOW
TO HEAL TRAUMA.
YOU KNOW, THE BOOK IS CALLED UNPROTECTED, AND IT'S ABOUT
HEALING MY TRAUMA THROUGH THE POWER OF ART, AND MY HOPE IS
THAT MY STORY AND MY JOURNEY WILL FREE SOMEBODY ELSE AND SET
SOMEBODY ELSE FREE, BECAUSE IT SET ME FREE.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE WERE HAVING A
CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS BEFORE THE SHOW.
WHAT INSPIRES YOU ARTISTICALLY?
>> THE TRUTH.
AUTHENTICITY AND THE TRUTH.
TELL THE TRUTH.
SPEAK TRUTH TO ALL POWER, ALL THE TIME.
THAT'S WHAT WE GET TO DO AS ARTISTS.
( APPLAUSE ) WE GET TO DO THAT IN A WAY
THAT'S NOT DIDACTIC.
I'M NOT A POLITICIAN, RIGHT.
WE'RE NOT POLITICIANS, SO WE CAN ACTUALLY TELL THE TRUTH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE TO
VOTE FOR YOU SOME DAY, THOUGH, BILLY PORTER.
>> YEAH, I CUSS TOO MUCH.
>> Stephen: YOU WRITE ABOUT YOUR H.I.V. STATUS IN HERE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I KNOW THAT MUST BE VERY MEANINGFUL TO MANY
PEOPLE TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT IT PUBLICLY.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU TO TALK ABOUT IT?
>> YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A SHAME THAT WAS PERVASIVE IN MY LIFE
FOR THE ENTIRETY OF MY LIFE.
THE 2007 DIAGNOSIS WAS JUST ANOTHER LAYER OF SHAME.
AND, SO, AFTER 14 YEARS, TO SPEAK THAT WAS TO, ONCE AGAIN,
I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, SET MYSELF FREE OF THE SHAME BECAUSE SHAME
IS A SILENCER, AND SILENCE IS A MURDERER.
SHAME IS A MURDERER.
I WAS DYING A VERY SLOW DEATH, AND I HAVE TOO MUCH WORK TO DO
FOR THAT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO I HAD TO LET IT GO!
I HAD TO LET IT GO, Y'ALL!
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU HAVE AN INSPIRING LEVEL OF JOY AND
ENERGY AND ZEST FOR LIFE.
WHAT IS YOUR SOURCE OF THAT JOY?
WHAT IS THE WORK YOU DO TO MAINTAIN THAT?
>> WELL, IT'S -- YOU KNOW, A LOT OF IT HAS BEEN RECENT, YOU KNOW,
JUST IN TERMS OF, YOU KNOW, LIKE HAVING TIME.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN SAYING COVID CAME AND SHUT DOWN THE
WORLD SO THAT I COULD HEAL.
LIKE, I HAVE BEEN IN TRAUMA THERAPY, I HAVE BEEN FACING OLD
STUFF.
I HAVE BEEN, LIKE, EXCAVATING THE DEMONS AND, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
I'M FEELING REALLY --, LIKE, REAL JOY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN
MY LIFE, AND I'M FEELING REAL HEALING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY
LIFE, AND IT'S REALLY, REALLY POWERFUL, AND I JUST WANT TO BE
ABLE TO SHARE THAT WITH THE WORLD, AND I HOPE THAT THIS
BOOK, YOU KNOW, DOES THAT.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK, BUT
PLEASE DON'T GO AWAY.
WHEN I COME BACK, I'LL ASK BILLY HOW "KINKY BOOTS" TRANSFORMED
HIS CAREER.
STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WE ARE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF THE NEW MEMOIR "UNPROTECTED,
BILLY PORTER.
ANNALEIGH ASHFORD IS ALSO OUR GUEST TONIGHT.
YOU GUYS WERE IN "KINKY BOOTS" TOGETHER.
>> YES, WE WERE!
>> Stephen: AND ACTUALLY, I THINK I HAVE A SHOT OF THE TWO
OF YOU.
THERE YOU GO.
THERE YOU ARE AND ANNALEIGH IN THE MIDDLE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT WAS A BIG BREAK FOR YOU AND YOU GOT YOUR TONY
FOR THIS.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU GOT THE ROLE?
WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT LIKE FOR YOU?
>> IT WAS AN AFFIRMATION OF THE DECADES THAT, YOU KNOW, I WAS
TOLD THAT MY QUEERNESS WOULD BE MY LIABILITY.
>> Stephen: AND THAT YOU SHOULD HIDE IT.
>> YES, AND IT WAS FOR DECADES.
AND THEN "KINKY BOOTS" HAPPENED, AND IT WASN'T.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO IT WAS AN AFFIRMATION, AND
HOPEFULLY IT WILL BAN AFFIRMATION TO ALL OF YOU THAT
YOUR AUTHENTICITY IS THE ONLY OPTION ONE HAS FOR SURVIVAL ON
THIS PLANET.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HARD TO REMEMBER
SOMETIMES.
>> IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER.
>> Stephen: IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER SOMETIMES.
>> IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT YOU TO BE WHATEVER THEY
NEED.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
AND WE GET THE OPPRESSION, YOU KNOW, IT'S GOVERNMENT
SANCTIONED, IT'S RELIGIOUS SANCTIONED.
ALL YOU HEAR IS, NO, YOU'RE NOT OKAY, YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH, YOU'RE
WRONG, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU NEED TO BE FIXED.
IT'S A MESSAGING I RECEIVED FROM THE TIME I COULD COMPREHEND
THOUGHT, RIGHT.
LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO NOT NEED VALIDATION FROM THE OUTSIDE,
FROM ANYBODY.
VALIDATE YOURSELF, SPEAK LIFE INTO YOURSELF, AND GO ON OUT AND
CHANGE THE WORLD.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT IS NO SECRET
THAT YOU ARE A FASHION ICON.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE LOVE TO SEE WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR.
LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT HAS AUTHENTICALLY HAPPENED TO
FASHION DURING COVID BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF
REEXAMINATION OF PEOPLE'S PRIORITIES AND THERE HAS BEEN A
LOT OF JUST SWEAT PANTS AND TANK TOPS.
>> AND ZOOM CALLS FROM THE TOP UP.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
IS FASHION GOING TO BE THE SAME WHEN THIS IS OVER?
>> FASHION IS GOING TO COME BACK AND IT'S GOING TO MORPH AND BE
WHATEVER IT IS.
>> Stephen: CAN SWEAT PANTS BE FASHION?
>> LISTEN, T ATH-LEISURE IS FASHION.
ATH-LEISURE IS -- NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND $8,000 ON A SWEAT
SUIT BUT SOME PEOPLE DO.
>> Stephen: OR IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO SEND YOU ONE?
>> I WOULD WEAR IT EVERY DAY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: GREAT TO SEE YOU
AGAIN.
>> GREAT TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: THE BOOK IS "UNPROTECTED."
IT'S AVAILABLE NOW, AND IT'S BILLY PORTER, EVERYBODY.
BACK WITH THE STAR OF B POSITIVE ON CBS.
ALAN SHEPHERD, STICK AROUND.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪
>> Stephen: WOW.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A PRIVILEGE.
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A TONY-AWARD WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM
"MASTERS OF SEX," "IMPEACHMENT: AMERICAN CRIME STORY," AND
"KINKY BOOTS."
SHE NOW STARS IN THE CBS SHOW, "B POSITIVE."
>> GOOD MORNING.
IS IT?
YOU KIND OF LOOK LIKE MY DAUGHTER RIGHT BEFORE SHE WENT
INTO REHAB.
>> HOW KIND OF YOU TO SAY.
BACK IN THE DAY, I HAD A PERFECT HANGOVER CURE.
>> OH, GOD, TELL ME.
COCAINE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> THANK YOU.
LOOK AT THAT BACON.
EVERY DAY I ASK FOR SOFT, EVERY DAY I GET CRISPY.
>> DON'T TELL ME, TELL HER.
EVERY DAY -- I HEARD SCHU!
I WILL TALK TO THE CHEF.
>> HOW CAN YOU CALL A PERSON A CHEF WHEN THEY CAN'T COOK BACON?
( LAUGHTER ) >> MAY I JOIN YOU?
PLEASE.
WHAT?
( LAUGHTER ) >> YOU FEEL AS BAD AS YOU LOOK?
WORSE.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," ANNALEIGH
ASHFORD.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪
>> MAN, I CAN'T -- >> Stephen: EXTRAORDINARY.
I MEAN -- >> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU
ON.
>> SO GRATEFUL TO BE HERE.
THERE'S AN AUDIENCE WITH PEOPLE!
>> Stephen: I KNOW, ISN'T IT LOVELY?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HAVE YOU NOT BEEN IN FRONT OF AN
AUDIENCE?
>> NOT LIKE THIS.
I'M GOING TO GET A LITTLE TEARY EYE.
IT'S A BIG DEAL.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ON A BROADWAY STAGE AGAIN.
>> FULL OUT TEARS, GETTING CHOKED UP.
THIS IS A REAL THING.
OH, MY GOD.
>> Stephen: IS IT AT ALL IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM BECAUSE
YOUR BILLY PORTER, CO-STAR FROM "KINKY BOOTS" IS HERE?
>> WE HAD A REUNION.
I GOT TO GO TO CHURCH IN HIS DRESSING ROOM.
I CALL IT THE CHURCH OF BILLY PORTER.
>> Stephen: HE'S ALWAYS PREACHING.
>> I SAID, COULD WE PUT EVERY APPEARANCE HE'S EVER HAD IN A
PODCAST AND YOU CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT WALKING AND LIFE AND BE A
HUMAN.
>> Stephen: NO ONE'S STOPPING YOU.
>> BILLY PORTER PODCAST.
THERE YOU GO.
>> Stephen: LAST YEAR AND A HALF REALLY HIT THE COMMUNITY OF
A THEATER REALLY HARD.
YOU ATTENDED THE TONY AWARDS.
I THINK I'VE GOT A PHOTO RIGHT HERE, RAN INTO YOUR FRIEND THERE
JAKE GYLLENHAAL.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO BE THERE AT THE TONY AWARDS THIS YEAR WHERE
Y'ALL ARE CELEBRATING THEATER WHEN THERE WAS SO LITTLE THEATER
THAT WAS ABLE TO GO ON IN THE PAST YEAR?
BITTERSWEET IN SOME WAYS, I IMAGINE.
>> SO BITTERSWEET.
EVEN WHEN I WALKED IN TONIGHT, THERE ARE ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL
THEATERS, THEY'RE OLD, MAJESTIC, THEY'RE HISTORIC, AND THEY HAVE
A CERTAIN SMELL, THEY HAVE A CERTAIN SPIRIT.
TONIGHT, I WALKED IN AND SMELLED THE RADIATOR AND IT MADE ME FEEL
THE FEEL.
>> Stephen: SURE.
YOU KNOW.
AND I WALKED IN THAT THEATER, AND THEY TOOK PLACE THIS YEAR AT
THE WINTER GARDEN AND I WAS TOTALLY OVERWHELMED BY THE
INCREDIBLE SPIRIT OF THIS COMMUNITY OF BROADWAY ACTORS AND
THEATER WORKERS AND CREW AND EVERYBODY WHO'S JUST KIND OF
MADE IT THROUGH.
YOU KNOW, A LOT OF US HAVE GOTTEN TO GO BACK TO WORK IN
SOME SHAPE OR OTHER BUT PEOPLE WHO DO PETER HAVEN'T.
SO WE'RE BACK NOW.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT REALLY IS THE
LIFEBLOOD, SPEEDS INTO ALL THE REST OF ENTERTAINMENT IN THE
UNITED STATES.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU'RE PART OF THE
CBS FAMILY.
YOUR SHOW B POSITIVE IS IN THE SECOND SEASON.
WHAT AN EXTRAORDINARY CAST.
LOOK AT THE CLIP, HECTOR ALZANO.
LINDA LAVIN, YOU, I MEAN, DO YOU EVER JUST LOOK AROUND AND SAY I
CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SHARING A SOUND STAGE WITH THESE PEOPLE?
>> ALL THE TIME.
THE FACT THEY'RE IN MY PHONE MAKES ME FEEL SO COOL.
>> Stephen: DO YOU MAKE UP NAMES FOR FAMOUS PEOPLE?
BECAUSE I PUT IN FAKE NAMES FOR PEOPLE IN CASE SOMEONE GETS MY
PHONE.
>> I USUALLY DO THAT.
I USUALLY PUT WHAT THING I'VE DONE WITH THEM.
LIKE LINDA LAVI IN IS B POSITIVE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
CONAN O'BRIEN IS IN MY PHONE AS PALE MALE.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW I HAVE TO CHANGE IT.
>> AMAZING.
>> Stephen: THIS YEAR, WE HAVE A CLIP HERE BECAUSE THE OPENING
CREDITS ARE A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT THIS YEAR.
I GOT BROADWAY'D UP A LITTLE BIT.
JIM?
♪ THE MORE YOU GIVE ♪ ♪ THE MORE YOU LIVE ♪
♪ YOUR HAPPINESS ♪ ♪ IS RELATIVE ♪
♪ AND IF YOU'RE FEELING LIKE CRAP ♪
♪ IT'S TIME TO FACE THE FACT ♪ ♪ YOUR PREROGATIVE ♪
♪ TO BE POSITIVE ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: LOVELY.
VERY POSITIVE.
ARE YOU ALWAYS KIND OF HOPING THEY WILL GO, MAYBE WE CAN PUT A
LITTLE SINGING AND DANCING TO THIS.
WAS THAT YOUR IDEA?
>> I WAS CHUCK LORI'S IDEA.
I SAID, I'D LOVE TO.
I SAID CAN WE FIND SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMERS WHO HAPPENED TO BE
SYNCHRONIZED CITIZENS?
WE FOUND A GROUP CALLED THE AQUA-DETS FROM 60 TO 90.
IT'S LIKE FERN, AQUA DEDET, B POSITIVE, LOTS OF TABLES.
THEY'RE INCREDIBLE.
WE HAD ALL THE INCREDIBLE DANCERS IN L.A. WHO THEY ARE MY
ELDERS AS WELL AND THEY WERE AMAZING AT TAP DANCING AS
WALKERS.
IT WAS A REALLY GOOD TIME.
>> Stephen: AT THE END OF THE SUMMER, WE HAD THE GREAT
STEPSTEPHEN SONHEIM ON.
YOU AND JAKE GYLLENHAAL DID SUNNY IN THE PARK 2004, A
BRILLIANT PRODUCTION.
AND WHEN I HAD STEVE ON, I REITERATED TO HIM HOW IMPORTANT
IT WAS TO HIM.
AS SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN IN THE SHOW, PLAYED DODDEN, KNOWS THE
SHOW INTIMATELY, DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE PART OF THAT
EXTRAORDINARY MUSICAL?
>> I HAVE MANY FAVORITE PARTS BUT MY MOST FAVORITE IS THE
INTRO INTO THE SONG "CHILDREN AND ART," WHEN MARIE SAYS, THERE
ARE ONLY TWO WORTH WHILE THINGS TO LEAVE BEHIND WHEN YOU DEPART
THIS WORLD, CHILDREN AND ART.
AND THAT, I THINK, SORT OF SAYS IT ALL.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I'LL ASK YOU WHAT
I ASKED BILLY WHICH IS SOMETHING WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE THE
SHOW.
WHAT INSPIRES YOU ARTISTICALLY?
>> WHAT INSPIRES ME ARTISTICALLY IS THE POSSIBILITY OF A STORY
CHANGING SOMEBODY.
LIKE PUTTING IT TOGETHER DID YOU.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES PEOPLE ASK YOU, OH, WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU
WANTED TO DO THIS CRAZY THING THAT YOU DO?
AND I REMEMBER BEING A LITTLE PERSON, KNOWING THAT STORIES
MADE ME FEEL GOOD, THEY MADE ME FEEL DIFFERENT, BUT, MORE THAN
THAT, THEY TAUGHT ME SOMETHING, THEY TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A
BETTER PERSON, AND I'M ALWAYS STRUCK AT THE CAPACITY THAT A
STORY HAS TO CHANGE US AND MAKE US FEEL BETTER, AND I THINK
SUNNY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE IS ONE OF THE GREAT PIECES OF ART
THAT JUST CONTINUES TO EVOLVE IN WHAT IT TEACHES YOU THROUGHOUT
YOUR LIFE.
THERE'S A CHORD STRUCTURE IN THE SHOW THAT DOESN'T RESOLVE, IT'S
IN MINOR, AND MOVES ON.
YOU WILL HAVE TO GET THE ALBUM.
IT RESOLVES, SO I GUESS THE LESSON IS THERE'S ALWAYS A
RESOLVE.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELL, MY FAVORITE
LINE FROM CHILDREN AND ART, AND I APPLY THIS TO YOU AS AN ARTIST
OR BILLY OR ANYONE OUT THERE, IS THAT THE FAVORITE LINE IS THE
CHILDREN ARE SWEET AND THE GIRLS ARE SO RAPTUROUS, ISN'T IT
LOVELY HOW ARTISTS CAN CAPTURE US.
AND IT WAS LOVELY YOU COULD BE HERE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANNALEIGH.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: BASS AIRS
THURSDAYS 9:30 ON CBS.
ANNALEIGH ASHFORD, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> THANK YOU!
GOD BLESS YOU, AND LET'S GO ON THE COURT.
>> SURE, COVID RISES AND THE COURTS WILL BE RESTRICTED BY THE
IMPORTANT THING IS A RICH GUY HAD FUN.
HAVE ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE, BUDDY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE TONY HALE.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.