1 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:02,302 >> AHEAD OF THIS HALLOWEEN 2 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:05,271 WEEKEND, A WARNING ABOUT CANNABIS PRODUCTS MADE TO LOOK 3 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,440 LIKE POPULAR SNACK FOODS AND CANDY. 4 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:11,344 THE CONCERN HERE IS THE ILLEGAL PRODUCTS COME IN DECEPTIVELY 5 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:12,579 DESIGNED BAGS. 6 00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:17,016 NEW YORK ATTORNEY GENERAL TISH JAMES IS URGING PARENTS TO MAKE 7 00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:21,087 SURE THAT THEY DON'T END UP IN CHILDREN'S HANDS. 8 00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:23,857 >> AND NOW A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE NATIONAL 9 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,058 ASSOCIATION FOR DRUG-FREE KIDS. 10 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:29,929 >> IT CAN BE EASY TO CONFUSE CANNABIS-INFUSED TREATS WITH THE 11 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:31,798 POPULAR CANDIES THEY'RE MODELED AFTER. 12 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,032 BUT THIS HALLOWEEN, DON'T MAKE THE DIRE MISTAKE OF GIVING WEED 13 00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:34,801 TO A KID. 14 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:35,969 KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF. 15 00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,203 THAT'S DADDY'S CANDY. 16 00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:40,740 YOU SEE, GIVING MARIJUANA TO A CHILD CAN DO IRREPARABLE DAMAGE 17 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,342 TO YOUR NEXT HOME MOVIE NIGHT. 18 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:47,213 ONE CARELESS MISTAKE COULD LEAD TO THIS: WATCHING A MOVIE ABOUT 19 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,884 HUMAN-ANIMAL HYBRID CHILDREN SOBER. 20 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,719 LOOK, NO CHILD SHOULD INGEST T.H.C., BECAUSE THEY DON'T NEED 21 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,387 IT. 22 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,623 THEY ALREADY HAVE IMAGINATIONS AND BRIGHT OUTLOOKS ON THE 23 00:00:56,689 --> 00:01:00,393 WORLD, WHILE ALL YOU HAVE IS A DEAD-END JOB, A TROUBLED 24 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:04,063 RELATIONSHIP, AND A COUPLE OF HOURS TO PLAY "MARIO" WHILE 25 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,265 TRIPPING BALLS ON THE DANK. 26 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:08,701 SO MAKE NO MISTAKE: PASSING OUT POT AT HALLOWEEN CAN END IN 27 00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:12,105 TRAGEDY, THE TRAGEDY OF HAVING NO WAY TO GET HIGH AT 28 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:12,906 THANKSGIVING. 29 00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:17,677 THIS HALLOWEEN, BE SMART AND BOGART. 30 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,713 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 31 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:30,156 TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: 32 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:34,794 ELIZABETH BANKS AND JORJA FOX 33 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:40,733 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 34 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:44,737 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 35 00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:48,408 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 36 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:56,716 >> Stephen: HELLO! 37 00:01:56,783 --> 00:02:11,297 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 38 00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:14,701 >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU. 39 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:15,401 WELCOME. 40 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:20,740 ONE AND ALL TO "THE LATE SHOW." 41 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,978 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 42 00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:29,415 YOU KNOW, FOLKS, IF YOU HAVE BEEN READING THE PAPERS OR 43 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:34,153 WATCHING THE NEWS YOU'LL KNOW IT WAS YET ANOTHER DAY OF BICKERING 44 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,523 FOR LAWMAKERS TODAY IN WASHINGTON, D.C. 45 00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:40,026 THE SUBJECT WAS A PROPOSAL FROM OREGON SENATOR AND SAD BUSINESS 46 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,027 MIME, RON WYDEN. 47 00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:44,497 ( LAUGHTER ) SENATOR WYDEN WANTS TO PAY FOR 48 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:49,269 THE BIDEN AGENDA WITH SOMETHING CALLED THE BILLIONAIRE'S INCOME 49 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,471 NOW THE DETAILS ARE A LITTLE COMPLEX. 50 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:55,008 LET ME TRY TO EXPLAIN IT. 51 00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:56,309 OF BILLIONAIRES, THERE'S THIS THING 52 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,511 CALLED TAXES, AND YOU SHOULD PAY ANY. 53 00:02:58,578 --> 00:02:59,245 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 54 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:06,152 THE PROPOSAL-- ( APPLAUSE ) 55 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,488 THE PROPOSAL ONLY AFFECTS PEOPLE WITH $1 BILLION IN ASSETS OR 56 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:13,059 THOSE EARNING MORE THAN $100 MILLION IN INCOME THREE 57 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:16,763 YEARS IN A ROW. 58 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:17,964 OKAY, HERE'S A SIMPLE WAY TO SEE IF IT AFFECTS YOU: TAKE YOUR 59 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,466 SPARE SUPER YACHT TO YOUR THIRD HOUSE THAT'S ON THE PRIVATE 60 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:27,407 ISLAND SHAPED LIKE YOUR OWN HEAD, LOOK IN YOUR GARAGE. 61 00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:29,709 IF THERE ISN'T A SPACESHIP IN THERE, YOU'RE FINE. 62 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:33,580 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY, YOU 63 00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:38,384 HAD TO DO ALL THAT CALLING IT A "BILLIONAIRE INCOME 64 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:41,721 TAX" WAS SMART BRANDING BY THE DEMOCRATS, BECAUSE REPUBLICANS 65 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:46,593 ARE GOING TO SOUND PRETTY OUT OF TOUCH IF THEY OPPOSE IT, WHICH 66 00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:47,727 THEY IMMEDIATELY DID. 67 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:52,065 ( LAUGHTER ) TAKE UTAH SENATOR, AND DAD 68 00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:55,101 TELLING A SPOOKY STORY ABOUT A MAN WITH "ONLY ONE HOOUUUSE! 69 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:59,405 ( LAUGHTER ) MITT ROMNEY. 70 00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:03,943 SEE, CURRENTLY, BILLIONAIRES ONLY PAY TAXES ON THE MONEY THEY 71 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,712 MAKE FROM INVESTMENTS, LIKE STOCK, AFTER THEY SELL THEM. 72 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,081 BUT WYDEN WANTS TO CHANGE THAT, AND ROMNEY THINKS THAT'S BAD 73 00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:11,384 FOR AMERICA. 74 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,386 >> THESE PEOPLE ARE-- THE MULTIBILLIONAIRES ARE GONNA LOOK 75 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:16,389 AD SAY, "I DON'T WANT TO INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET, 76 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,124 BECAUSE AS THAT GOES UP, I AM GOING TO GET TAXED. 77 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,493 SO MAYBE I WILL, INSTEAD, INVEST IN A RANCH OR IN PAINTINGS OR 78 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,730 THINGS THAT DON'T BUILD JOBS THAT CREATE A STRONGER ECONOMY. 79 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:28,067 >> Stephen: WHAT? 80 00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,069 ( LAUGHTER ) ARE YOU ACTUALLY SAYING RANCHES 81 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:31,204 AND PAINTINGS DON'T CREATE JOBS? 82 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:35,742 TELL THAT TO GARY'S FINE ART EMPORIUM AND DUDE RANCH. 83 00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:36,676 COME ON IN AND LASSO A PICASSO! 84 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:41,748 ( APPLAUSE ) WRANGLE A CHAGALL, Y'ALL! 85 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,583 ROPE A STEER AND PEEP A VERMEER! 86 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:44,217 YEEHAW! 87 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:49,222 THOSE DEAD GUYS COULD DRAW! 88 00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:51,391 ( LAUGHTER ) NO WORD ON WHAT'S GOING TO 89 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:52,592 HAPPEN WITH THIS, EXCEPT THAT JOE MANCHIN IS AGAINST IT, SO 90 00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:56,062 IT'S DEAD. 91 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,699 WHILE NOTHING ON HIS AGENDA WAS GETTING DONE, THE PRESIDENT WAS 92 00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:04,070 IN VIRGINIA YESTERDAY STUMPING IN THE GOVERNOR'S RACE FOR 93 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,738 DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE TERRY McAULIFFE, SEEN HERE LOOKING AT 94 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:09,575 HIS POLL NUMBERS. 95 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:16,049 THE RACE IS EXTREMELY CLOSE, EXTREMELY CLOSE, 96 00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:21,421 SO BIDEN CAME IN WITH GUNS BLAZIN' AGAINST MCAULIFFE'S 97 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,689 OPPONENT. 98 00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:24,123 REPUBLICAN NOMINEE AND AND JARED KUSHNER CLONE WHERE THEY FILLED 99 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:26,025 IN THE GAPS WITH FROG D.N.A., GLENN YOUNGKIN. 100 00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:27,694 BIDEN QUESTIONED WHY YOUNGKIN'S SUDDENLY SO SHY ABOUT HIS TIES 101 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:28,861 TO THE FORMER PRESIDENT. 102 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:29,762 >> HE WON'T ALLOW DONALD TRUMP TO CAMPAIGN FOR HIM IN THIS 103 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,065 STATE. 104 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,466 WHAT'S HE TRYING TO HIDE? 105 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,735 IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH TRUMP BEING HERE? 106 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:40,073 IS HE EMBARRASSED? 107 00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:42,642 >> Stephen: YES, IS HE EMBARRASSED BY THE TANG-FACED, 108 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,077 TROOP-INSULTING FASCIST WITH RACCOON HAIR WHOSE SIGNATURE 109 00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:47,747 SCENT IS BURGER FART? 110 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:53,753 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BIDEN WENT ON TO EXPLAIN HOW 111 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,289 EVEN THOUGH YOUNGKIN APPEARS UNTHREATENING, HE'S STILL 112 00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:59,559 TIED TO EXTREMISM. 113 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:08,067 >> EXTREMISM CAN COME IN MANY FORMS. 114 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,738 IT CAN COME IN THE RAGE OF A MOB DRIVEN TO ASSAULT-- DRIVE TO 115 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:13,106 ASSAULT THE U.S. CAPITOL. 116 00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,408 IT CAN COME IN A SMILE AND A FLEECE VEST. 117 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,609 >> Stephen: HEY, DON'T DRAG FLEECE VESTS INTO THIS! 118 00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:22,048 AS A MIDDLE-AGED MAN, I CAN TELL YOU IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO 119 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,750 SMILE WHEN YOU'RE SWADDLED IN THE FUZZY EMBRACE OF SOME 120 00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:24,550 PATAGONIA. 121 00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:28,054 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 122 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:31,824 YOU'RE NOT TOO HOT, YOU'RE NOT TOO COLD, YOUR CORE IS WARM, BUT 123 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,059 YOUR ARMS ARE FREE TO ROAM. 124 00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,728 BUT THE REAL STAR OF THE SHOW LAST NIGHT WAS TERRY McAULIFFE'S 125 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:40,066 DANCE MOVES! 126 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,734 LOOK AT THAT VANILLA SHAKE! 127 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:45,204 OKAY, GOVERNOR, MAYBE DANCE LIKE SOMEBODY IS WATCHING. 128 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:54,614 ( LAUGHTER ) THIS ISN'T THE ONLY TIME 129 00:06:54,680 --> 00:07:01,187 McAULIFFE HAS BACKED IT UP LIKE A CAMPAIGN BUS. 130 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:04,056 HE ALSO BOOGIED WITH BARACK, DID WHATEVER THIS IS WITH KAMALA 131 00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:08,060 HARRIS, AND HERE HE IS LAST WEEK ADVERTISING 0% A.P.R. FINANCING 132 00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:08,928 ON ALL NEW HONDA CIVICS. 133 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,630 ( APPLAUSE ) THERE YOU GO! 134 00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:12,098 THERE YOU GO! 135 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,801 IT'S A BREAKTHROUGH. 136 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:17,737 FORTUNATELY, IF McAULIFFE LOSES THE ELECTION, HE CAN ALWAYS GO 137 00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:22,108 BACK TO HIS DAY JOB AS FOUNDER OF THE "FATHER OF THE BRIDE 138 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,309 DANCE ACADEMY." 139 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:27,146 "I PAID FOR THIS RECEPTION, AND I'M GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME!" 140 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,749 ( LAUGHTER ) OH, THIS IS NICE, I LIKE SAYING 141 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:32,051 THIS. 142 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,586 THERE IS SOME GOOD COVID NEWS. 143 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:38,057 LAST NIGHT, AN F.D.A. PANEL OFFICIALLY RECOMMENDED COVID 144 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,594 SHOTS FOR CHILDREN 5 TO 11. 145 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:46,732 ( APPLAUSE ) YEAH, HEY. 146 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,000 HEY, KIDS, GUESS WHO GETS TO GO TO THE DOCTOR TWICE IN THE SPACE 147 00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:50,236 OF THREE WEEKS? 148 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,739 AND DON'T WORRY, HE WILL STAB YOU! 149 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,576 NOW, PARENTS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR A LONG TIME, BUT IT 150 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,745 TOOK A LONG TIME BECAUSE THESE TRIALS WERE THOROUGH. 151 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:06,085 THE F.D.A. REPORT INCLUDED EVERY CHILD IN THE TRIAL EXPERIENCED, 152 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,921 EVEN IF IT WAS TOTALLY UNRELATED TO THE VACCINE. 153 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:12,358 FOR INSTANCE, ONE KID SWALLOWED A PENNY. 154 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:16,696 SO NOW THAT KID IS IMMUNE TO COVID AND VALID FOR ONE WISH IF 155 00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:21,601 YOU TOSS HIM INTO A WELL. 156 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,736 ( APPLAUSE ) SURE, TOSS HIM INTO THE WELL. 157 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:30,910 TOSS HIM INTO THE WELL! 158 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:33,045 THERE'S ALSO A VACCINE UPDATE FOR ADULTS. 159 00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:36,983 THE C.D.C. ANNOUNCED SOME IMMUNOCOMPROMISED PEOPLE CAN GET 160 00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:43,556 A FOURTH COVID SHOT. 161 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:44,957 SO FIRST IT WAS "YOU NEED TWO SHOTS." 162 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,459 THEN IT WAS "YOU NEED A BOOSTER." 163 00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:47,894 NOW IT'S "YOU NEED A BOOSTER FOR YOUR BOOSTER." 164 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,030 NEXT, IT'S JUST PUTTING PEOPLE IN THE VAXX BOOTH. 165 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:58,804 SPEAKING-- SURE, SURE. 166 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:03,910 SPEAKING OF COVID-- COVID. 167 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:05,745 IT'S HAD SOME WEIRD, UNPREDICTABLE IMPACTS ON THE 168 00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,546 ECONOMY, AND WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT A NEW ONE. 169 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:08,981 BETWEEN LABOR SHORTAGES AND STUFF SHORTAGES, FOLKS HAVE SEEN 170 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,751 AN ECONOMY-WIDE DECLINE IN SERVICE QUALITY. 171 00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:15,421 FOR EXAMPLE, EVEN THOUGH DISNEY WORLD'S BEEN REOPENED FOR MONTHS 172 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,757 THEY HAVE YET TO RESTART THEIR PARKING LOT TRAM SERVICES, 173 00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:22,728 FORCING VISITORS TO WALK NEARLY A MILE TO ENTER THE PARKS. 174 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,865 OF COURSE, THIS BEING DISNEY, THEY'VE REBRANDED IT "SIMBA'S 175 00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:29,669 BOILING ASPHALT STROLL" ( LAUGHTER ) 176 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,171 ( APPLAUSE ) IT'S A LOT MORE FUN. 177 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,707 IT'S ACTUALLY MORE FUN THAN YOU THINK. 178 00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,509 >> Jon: OH, YEAH. 179 00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:41,013 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. 180 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,481 >> Stephen: THIS INCREASED LEVEL OF SUCKING IS HAPPENING 181 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:43,916 EVERYWHERE. 182 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:46,519 AIRLINES ARE PUTTING CUSTOMERS ON HOLD FOR HOURS, AND DOMINO'S 183 00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:49,789 IS TAKING LONGER TO DELIVER PIZZAS, FORCING AMERICANS TO 184 00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:53,392 WAIT MORE THAN 30 MINUTES FOR DISAPPOINTMENT. 185 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:56,162 ( LAUGHTER ) ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 186 00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:58,130 EVEN HIGHWAY REST STOPS ARE STRUGGLING TO KEEP UP THE 187 00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:00,366 SAME LEVEL OF SERVICE THAT THEY HAD BEFORE. 188 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,001 AND KEEP IN MIND, THE LEVEL OF SERVICE THEY HAD BEFORE WAS 189 00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:04,570 "EVERYTHING SMELLS LIKE A URINAL CAKE." 190 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:12,378 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT THIS PROBLEM IS A TWO-WAY 191 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,612 STREET, BECAUSE FREQUENT SURVEYS SUGGEST THAT RUDE SHOPPERS 192 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,682 COULD BE FUELING THE LABOR SHORTAGE. 193 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:20,686 "WELL, WHO CONDUCTED THAT SURVEY? 194 00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:22,521 I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THEIR MANAGER. 195 00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:23,990 NO ONE CALLS ME RUDE, AND FURTHERMORE, NO YOU CALM DOWN 196 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:24,557 OH, YOU'RE VIDEOTAPING? 197 00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:25,024 I'LL VIDEOTAPE YOU, TOO. 198 00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:28,694 THAT'S FINE. 199 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:29,228 LOOK, WE'RE BOTH DOING IT. 200 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,698 NO, NO, WRONG, NO. 201 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,001 UH-UH! 202 00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:35,868 UH-HUH! 203 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:40,706 NO, YOU'RE GOING TO BE INTERNET FAMOUS." 204 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:45,945 ( LAUGHTER ) I'M SORRY, I SNAPPED. 205 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:48,948 NOW, FOLKS I WANT TO LAY MY CARDS ON THE TABLE HERE. 206 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:49,749 I LOVE WORDS. 207 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,051 THEY'RE MY FAVORITE PART OF READING. 208 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:53,753 AFTER SITTING. 209 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,055 AND NOW THERE'S EVEN MORE OF THEM, BECAUSE TODAY 210 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:59,558 MERRIAM-WEBSTER ANNOUNCED THE ADDITION OF 455 NEW WORDS AND 211 00:10:59,625 --> 00:10:59,992 MEANINGS. 212 00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:02,261 THAT'S SO MANY! 213 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:07,767 I CAN BARELY KEEP UP WITH THE ONES WE ALREADY HAVE. 214 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,403 LIKE, DID YOU KNOW "RAVEL" AND "UNRAVEL" MEAN THE SAME THING? 215 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,470 THAT'S INSANE. 216 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:14,340 OR SANE, SINCE EVERYTHING MEANS THE SAME THING NOW! 217 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,743 SOME OF THE NEW WORDS ARE COVID-RELATED, LIKE 218 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:24,583 "SUPERSPREADER," "BREAKTHROUGH," AND "VACCINE PASSPORT." 219 00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:28,054 DO WE REALLY HAVE TO ADD THOSE DEPRESSING WORDS TO THE 220 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,755 DICTIONARY? 221 00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:30,990 THAT FEELS SO PERMANENT. 222 00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:32,324 CAN'T WE JUST FORGET ABOUT THEM WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER, LIKE WE 223 00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:37,663 DID WITH SCURVY, GAUCHO PANTS, OR "SPACE JAM 2"? 224 00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:42,068 BUT THERE'S FUN-- YOU LIKE THE "SPACE JAM" OVER THERE? 225 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:44,770 YOU LIKE THE "SPACE JAM 2"? 226 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,405 WE FOUND THE AUDIENCE. 227 00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:48,007 IT'S JOHN LAMPELY ON TRUMPET. 228 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:52,011 YOU'RE THE GUY WHO WANTS TO GO SEE IT. 229 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,746 LOVED IT? 230 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:54,980 BUT THERE'S FUN NEW WORDS, TOO. 231 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,382 OTHER ENTRANTS INCLUDE DAD BOD, AIR FRYER, AND 232 00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:59,752 FLUFFERNUTTER. 233 00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:02,488 WHICH IS A CRAZY COINCIDENCE, BECAUSE THE REASON THAT I HAVE A 234 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,057 DAD BOD IS THAT I AIR FRY WAY TOO MUCH FLUFFERNUTTER. 235 00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:05,891 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 236 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:16,068 NOW-- NO, YOU CALM DOWN! 237 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:21,107 IN AIRPORT NEWS-- ALSO KNOWN AS HUDSON NEWS-- DELTA AIRLINES IS 238 00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,209 LAUNCHING NEW FACIAL- RECOGNITION TECHNOLOGY FOR 239 00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:24,343 SECURITY LINES WITH THE T.S.A. 240 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,847 BAD NEWS FOR SMUGGLERS WHO HIDE COCAINE IN THEIR CHEEKS. 241 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,748 ( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S HOW IT WORKS. 242 00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:32,218 WHEN CUSTOMERS PASS THROUGH SECURITY, THEIR IMAGE IS TAKEN, 243 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:34,286 ENCRYPTED, AND SENT TO U.S. 244 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,288 CUSTOMS AND BORDER PROTECTION'S FACIAL BIOMETRIC MATCHING 245 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:39,925 SERVICE. 246 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:42,561 SO, NOW THEY'LL HAVE A PERMANENT RECORD OF YOUR FACE AT ITS BEST: 247 00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:45,364 AFTER YOU WOKE UP AT 4:00 A.M., YELLED AT YOUR KIDS, AND STRESS 248 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,366 ATE A CINNABON OVER A TRASH CAN. 249 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,335 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 250 00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:54,607 THERE'S ALSO-- THERE'S ALSO-- IS THIS BREAKING? 251 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,376 THERE'S ALSO A BREAKING CRIME STORY. 252 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:04,150 BECAUSE THIS WEEK, AUTHORITIES SEIZED WHALE POOP WORTH 253 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:04,884 $1 MILLION. 254 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:05,718 WHOA! 255 00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:08,254 WHALE POOP IS WORTH A MILLION DOLLARS? 256 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:13,058 THAT EXPLAINS THAT SCENE IN "MOBY DICK": 257 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:21,367 >> NOW HEAR ME, YOU ARE TO LOOK FOR A WHITE WHALE AND BRING ME 258 00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:21,867 HIS DOO-DOO! 259 00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:26,372 I'M-A MAKE IT RAIN! 260 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:28,140 >> Stephen: NOW, WHY IS WHALE POOP SO EXPENSIVE? 261 00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:31,043 TURNS OUT IT'S A VALUABLE INGREDIENT IN PERFUMES. 262 00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:36,282 YES, YOU CAN FIND IT IN SCENTS SUCH AS CHANEL NUMBER 2, AND 263 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:37,116 DINGLEBERRY. 264 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:41,353 AND WHO CAN FORGET THIS ICONIC DIOR AD: 265 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:48,627 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> AND YOU? 266 00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:52,331 WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR WHALE POOP! 267 00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:55,034 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: TO BE FAIR-- TO BE 268 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,369 FAIR-- SURE. 269 00:13:57,436 --> 00:14:03,175 ( APPLAUSE ) TO BE FAIR, THERE IS SOME DEBATE 270 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,777 ABOUT WHETHER IT'S ACTUALLY POOL. 271 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:10,316 BECAUSE, TECHNICALLY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING CALLED 272 00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:11,784 "AMBERGRIS," AND THERE ARE CONFLICTING OPINIONS AS TO HOW 273 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,686 AMBERGRIS EMERGES FROM THE WHALE. 274 00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:15,521 SOME BELIEVE IT PASSES ALONG WITH FECAL MATTER, WHILE 275 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,691 OTHERS THINK THAT THE WHALE REGURGITATES THE MASS AS WHALE 276 00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,025 VOMIT. 277 00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:21,227 WELL, WHICH IS IT? 278 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:24,797 I NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S PUKE OR POOP BEFORE I SPRITZ IT ON MY 279 00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:26,832 PULSE POINTS. 280 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:29,101 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 281 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:33,105 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 282 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:34,573 MY GUESTS ARE ELIZABETH BANKS AND "CSI: VEGAS" STAR JORJA FOX, 283 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,210 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, THE HOTTEST NEW TREND IN ALCOHOL IS 284 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:39,144 MORE ALCOHOL. 285 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:45,017 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 286 00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:14,179 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 287 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:20,185 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 288 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:23,856 >> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY! 289 00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:31,363 THERE YOU GO! 290 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,965 OH, MY GOODNESS. 291 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,534 OH, MY GOODNESS. 292 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:40,105 JON, I GOT TO POINT OUT-- I GOT TO POINT OUT TWO THINGS, TWO 293 00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:41,340 QUICK THINGS. 294 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:44,510 ONE IS I'M VERY EXCITED OF OUR GUESTS TONIGHT, ELIZABETH BANKS 295 00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:45,044 AND JORJA FOX. 296 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,578 VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT. 297 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:50,115 THE SECOND THING IS THAT, JON, I NEED YOU TO CALM ME DOWN HERE, 298 00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:53,052 BECAUSE-- AND I'M NOT GOING TO SAY WHY-- I HAVE A SUDDEN 299 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:57,790 FEELING THAT THE LORD IS ABOUT TO CALL ME HOME 300 00:15:57,856 --> 00:16:00,125 ♪ AMEN ♪ >> Stephen: PERHAPS ACROSS THE 301 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:01,193 RIVER JORDAN. 302 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,495 WHY ARE THERE ANGELS ON THE STAND WITH YOU TONIGHT? 303 00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:07,132 THEY SOUND AMAZING, BUT I'D LOVE TO BE INFORMED 304 00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:07,499 ( APPLAUSE ). 305 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:08,967 >> OH, YES. 306 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:18,010 FROM MY HEART... WE HAVE-- WE'VE BEEN PLAYING FOR THE ALBUM, AND 307 00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:25,117 I HAVE SINGERS WITH THE IRREPESSIBLE JOY, TAMARA, DE Z, 308 00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:26,418 AND SUSAN. 309 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,653 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR 310 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,287 BEING HERE. 311 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:31,523 OF THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 312 00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:37,296 >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING US. 313 00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:40,466 >> Stephen: FOLKS, IN THESE TROUBLING AND DIVISIVE TIMES, 314 00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:42,468 THERE'S ONE THING ALL AMERICANS CAN AGREE ON: WE COULD USE A 315 00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:43,969 DRINK. 316 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:46,004 BECAUSE ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, NEARLY ONE IN FIVE 317 00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:54,480 AMERICANS IS CONSUMING AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL." 318 00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:57,282 WHICH IS WHY I SWITCHED TO CARLO ROSSI: YOU BURN A LOT OF 319 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,617 CALORIES HOISTING THAT JUG TO YOUR MOUTH. 320 00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,818 I'VE GOT HUGE BICEPS AND SIGNIFICANT SHORT-TERM MEMORY 321 00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:00,386 LOSS. 322 00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:00,719 WELCOME BACK. 323 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:02,121 HI, JON. 324 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:02,621 ELIZABETH BANKS IS HERE! 325 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:03,822 >> Jon: YES! 326 00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:10,062 ELIZABETH BANKS IS IN THE HOUSE! 327 00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:12,464 >> Stephen: WELL, IN RESPONSE TO THIS GROWTH IN THE GUZZLE 328 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,666 SECTOR, ALL SORTS OF UNEXPECTED BRANDS HAVE STARTED LAUNCHING 329 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:18,470 THEIR OWN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, SO MUCH SO THAT, ACCORDING TO 330 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,339 INDUSTRY EXPERTS, LINES ARE BLURRING ACROSS THE BEVERAGE 331 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:21,473 INDUSTRY. 332 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:22,741 WARNING: IF YOUR LINES ARE BLURRING, YOU MAY HAVE HAD TOO 333 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,476 MUCH BEVERAGE INDUSTRY. 334 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:29,982 ( LAUGHTER ) WELL, FOLKS, I AM A HUGE FAN OF 335 00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:34,253 BOTH TRENDS AND ALCOHOL, SO I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT BOTH IN MY 336 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,020 SEGMENT "BOOZE NEWZ." 337 00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:40,993 >> EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT... 338 00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:48,400 >> BOOZE NEWZ! 339 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,736 >> Stephen: IN BOOZE NEWS, THE FAST-FOOD CHAIN SONIC IS TURNING 340 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:54,473 ITS SLUSHES INTO HARD SELTZER FLAVORS-- PERFECT FOR WHEN YOU 341 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:57,242 WANT TO GO TO SONIC BUT ALSO WANT TO FORGET YOU WENT TO 342 00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:58,377 SONIC. 343 00:17:58,444 --> 00:17:59,578 THE HARD SELTZERS SHOWCASE ALL YOUR FAVORITE SONIC SLUSH 344 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:04,149 FLAVORS, LIKE CHERRY LIMEADE, MANGO GUAVA, AND OCEAN WATER. 345 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:08,187 BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW WHEN YOU GET A MOUTHFUL OF OCEAN WATER, 346 00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:11,056 THE FIRST THING YOU THINK IS, "MORE OF THAT, PLEASE." 347 00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:13,525 ( LAUGHTER ) AND I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS FOR 348 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:17,262 ANYONE WHO EVER SAID, "I WISH THIS WINE TASTED LIKE MUSTARD," 349 00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:20,399 BECAUSE GREY POUPON HAS INTRODUCED A WINE MADE WITH 350 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:21,567 MUSTARD SEEDS. 351 00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:25,537 OH SURE, WHEN GREY POUPON DOES IT, IT'S "HIGH CONCEPT," BUT 352 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:29,675 WHEN I DUNK MY HOTDOG IN A BUCKET OF WINE, IT'S A "CRY FOR 353 00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:33,579 HELP," AND I'M "ASKED TO LEAVE THE STADIUM." 354 00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:41,353 >> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS! 355 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:45,390 >> Stephen: NEXT UP IN THE DECANTER, PEPSI HAS PARTNERED 356 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,292 WITH BOSTON BEER COMPANY TO CREATE AN ALCOHOLIC MOUNTAIN DEW 357 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,528 CALLED HARD MTN DEW. 358 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:57,936 ( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S RIGHT, JUST M-T-N. 359 00:18:58,003 --> 00:18:59,371 THE VOWELS WERE ALL LOST IN A CUSTODY BATTLE. 360 00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:04,676 NOW, YOU MIGHT BE THINKING, "STEVE, ARE YOU BEING FAIR? 361 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:05,944 ISN'T IT KIND OF NORMAL FOR FOOD AND BEVERAGE COMPANIES TO LAUNCH 362 00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:08,447 ALCOHOL BRANDS?" WELL, SOME SUPER-WEIRD COMPANIES 363 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,482 ARE POPPIN' THE CORK ON ALCOHOL- BRANDING OPPORTUNITIES, LIKE THE 364 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:13,519 HALLMARK CHANNEL, FAMOUS FOR THEIR HOLIDAY MOVIES LIKE 365 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:17,289 "CHRISTMAS NEXT DOOR," "A PRINCESS FOR CHRISTMAS," AND 366 00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:18,390 "A SHOE ADDICT'S CHRISTMAS." 367 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:21,527 SHE SNORTS A RAIL OF GROUND-UP JIMMY CHOOS. 368 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:28,367 IT'S SAD. 369 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:29,801 WELL, NOW THE HALLMARK CHANNEL IS LAUNCHING A HALLMARK CHANNEL 370 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:31,236 WINE CLUB THAT DELIVERS ON THE HALLMARK CHANNEL LIFESTYLE. 371 00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:34,006 AND BASED ON THEIR MOVIES, I ASSUME IT'S ALL WHITES. 372 00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:35,607 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 373 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:43,649 WELL, THIS-- ( APPLAUSE ) 374 00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:45,517 WELL, THIS BOOZE-NANZA HAS GOT ME THINKING: I LIKE DRINKING AND 375 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:48,654 MAKING MONEY AND MAKING MONEY FROM DRINKING, WHICH IS WHY I'M 376 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,558 PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THE NEW "LATE SHOW WINE CLUB." 377 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,861 REMEMBER: IT'S ALWAYS 11:30 SOMEWHERE. 378 00:19:55,928 --> 00:20:01,533 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) "THE LATE SHOW" WINES--" 379 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:08,574 "LATE SHOW WINES" PAIR PERFECTLY WITH OUR SHOW. 380 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:14,146 WHY DON'T YOU TRY OUR MONOLOGUE MERLOW. 381 00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:16,148 IT'S TOPICAL, WITH NOTES OF POP CULTURE REFERENCES YOUNG STAFF 382 00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:17,282 MEMBERS HAD TO EXPLAIN TO ME... 383 00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:20,719 CHEUGY. 384 00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:23,021 AND FOR SOMETHING LIGHTER TRY OUR PINOT GUESTIO. 385 00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:26,692 AM I TALKING TO ELIZABETH BANKS TONIGHT? 386 00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:29,695 DRINK ENOUGH OF THIS, AND YOU'LL THINK YOU ARE, TOO. 387 00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:31,496 ( LAUGHTER ) SIGN UP FOR "THE LATE SHOW WINE 388 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,532 CLUB" TODAY. 389 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:35,801 WHY JUST WATCH TV, WHEN YOU CAN STREAM IT RIGHT INTO YOUR 390 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:36,668 MOUTH. 391 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:39,204 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ELIZABETH BANKS. 392 00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:41,039 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 393 00:20:54,753 --> 00:21:02,461 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 394 00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:06,298 >> Stephen: HEY! 395 00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:08,500 YES, SIR! 396 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:09,968 THAT'S A LITTLE EXTRA SOMETHING. 397 00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:11,937 THAT'S A LITTLE EXTRA SOMETHING. 398 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:17,075 >> Jon: YEAH. 399 00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:21,980 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 400 00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:25,584 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACTOR AND DIRECTOR 401 00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:27,919 YOU KNOW FROM "MRS. AMERICA," "THE HUNGER GAMES," AND "PITCH 402 00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:29,721 PERFECT." 403 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:41,733 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," ELIZABETH BANKS! 404 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:47,939 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ NIGHT AND DAY 405 00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:55,914 NIGHT AND DAY ♪ >> WOW! 406 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,582 THEY ARE ANGELS! 407 00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:58,717 >> Stephen: HELLO. 408 00:21:58,784 --> 00:22:03,321 ISN'T THAT NICE THAT WE HAD THEM ON JUST FOR YOU TONIGHT. 409 00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:03,689 >> LADIES! 410 00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:04,923 THANK YOU! 411 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,158 >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE BEEN 412 00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:08,393 IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE SINCE COVID. 413 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:08,960 HOW DOES IT FEEL? 414 00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:10,962 >> I AM AFRAID. 415 00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:13,999 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: OF HOW YOU'LL 416 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:14,599 REACT? 417 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:15,400 >> OF EVERYONE BREATHING. 418 00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:16,835 >> Stephen: THEY'RE ALL VACCINATED. 419 00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:20,272 ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE DUNKED IN PURELL BEFORE THEY'RE ALLOWED 420 00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:20,972 IN. 421 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:22,741 >> AND THEY LAUGH WHEN YOU TALK. 422 00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:23,709 IT'S AMAZING. 423 00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:26,078 YEAH, IT'S REALLY -- >> Stephen: ITS NICE. 424 00:22:26,144 --> 00:22:28,647 YOU KNOW THE SHOW IS WORKING BECAUSE THEY MAKE THIS NOISE 425 00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:29,848 WITH THEIR MOUTH. 426 00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:32,984 >> IT'S SO INCREDIBLE TO HAVE INSTANTANEOUS FEEDBACK, ISN'T 427 00:22:33,051 --> 00:22:33,952 IT. 428 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,587 >> Stephen: LISTEN, YOU'RE BUILDING AN EMPIRE. 429 00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:38,323 YOU'RE AN ACTOR, DIRECTOR, PRODUCER, GAME SHOW HOST. 430 00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:40,959 >> "PRESS YOUR LUCK," BABY. 431 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:41,960 NO WHAMMY. 432 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:44,596 >> Stephen: BUSINESS EXECUTIVE, AND NOW A PODCAST 433 00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:45,230 HOST. 434 00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:46,465 >> THAT'S RIGHT, THANK YOU. 435 00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:48,233 >> Stephen: OKAY, THE PODCAST IS CALLED "MY BODY, MY PODCAST." 436 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,069 >> "MY BODY, MY PODCAST." 437 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,972 YOU'VE GOT TO NAME A PODCAST, AND IT'S ALWAYS SO-- I'M GOING 438 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:56,808 TO TALK ABOUT MY BODY IT SHOULD BE CALLED "MY BODY, MY PODCAST." 439 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:57,743 >> Stephen: SURE. 440 00:22:57,809 --> 00:23:01,813 THAT REMINDS ME OF "OUR BODIES, OURSELVES." 441 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:02,514 IS THAT BASICALLY THE IDEA? 442 00:23:02,581 --> 00:23:05,050 >> IT IS A LITTLE BIT THAT IDEA. 443 00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:09,488 IT'S A SEX ED PODCAST, A CONTINUING EDUCATION FOR ME 444 00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:12,390 ABOUT SEX AND SEXUALITY, AND ALL THE QUESTIONS I STILL HAVE AS AN 445 00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:15,260 ADULT, AND ALL THE ANSWERS I FELT LIKE I NEEDED BECAUSE I'M A 446 00:23:15,327 --> 00:23:18,964 PARENT OF TWO BOYS WHO ARE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH PUBERTY. 447 00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:21,500 AND I'M UNPREPARED, AS EVERYONE IS. 448 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:23,268 >> Stephen: NO ONE-- NO ONE IS PREPARED. 449 00:23:23,335 --> 00:23:24,169 >> THEY'RE NOT PREPARED. 450 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:25,470 >> Stephen: YOU CANNOT BE PREPARED FOR IT. 451 00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:26,638 >> I'M NOT PREPARED. 452 00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:31,676 >> Stephen: HAVE YOU HAD THE-- WATCH YOU WHAT CALL IT-- THE 453 00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:32,077 TALK? 454 00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:32,844 >> OF COURSE. 455 00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:34,980 >> Stephen: HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT? 456 00:23:35,046 --> 00:23:37,783 >> KIDS HAVE AN INCREDIBLE CURIOSITY ABOUT WHERE THEY'RE 457 00:23:37,849 --> 00:23:41,720 FROM FR VERY EARLY ON AND THEY SEE PREGNANT PEOPLE AND PUPPIES 458 00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:44,923 AND KITTENS, SO THEY KNOW SOME THINGS ABOUT HOW THE WORLD 459 00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:45,624 WORKS. 460 00:23:45,690 --> 00:23:46,758 >> Stephen: MOMENT HAS PUPPIES. 461 00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:51,163 >> AND THEY KNEW THEY HAD A PENIS, AND THEY KNEW I HAD A 462 00:23:51,229 --> 00:23:51,630 VAGINA. 463 00:23:51,696 --> 00:23:52,864 >> Stephen: OKAY. 464 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:55,433 >> AND A VULVA AND UTERUS, AND THEY KNEW THAT THEY WERE PART OF 465 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:58,170 THEIR DAD AND PART ME, AN EGG AND A SPERM. 466 00:23:58,236 --> 00:24:01,173 SO ALL OF THOSE THINGS HAD BEEN DISCUSSED. 467 00:24:01,239 --> 00:24:05,544 WHEN WE WERE IN THE BACK OF THE CAR AND THE QUESTION CAME, "YES, 468 00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:09,414 YES, MOMMY, BUT HOW DOES THE SPERM GET TO THE EGG?" 469 00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:12,384 I REALIZED, OH, HE'S ASKING ABOUT THE ACT, THE THING. 470 00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:16,922 >> Stephen: AND YOU SAID, WELL, WE'RE AMAZON PRIME SO WE 471 00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:18,790 HAVE TWO-DAY DELIVERY? 472 00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:21,026 THAT'S WHY JEFF BEZOS LOOKS LIKE A SPERM. 473 00:24:21,092 --> 00:24:21,860 >> THAT'S IT. 474 00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:23,061 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 475 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:24,396 THAT'S IT. 476 00:24:24,462 --> 00:24:24,963 NO! 477 00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:27,098 >> Stephen: NO? 478 00:24:27,165 --> 00:24:27,699 NO? 479 00:24:27,766 --> 00:24:28,900 SO HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? 480 00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:32,404 >> I STRAIGHT UP-- I ACTUALLY EVEN USED THIS GESTURE AT ONE 481 00:24:32,470 --> 00:24:33,371 POINT. 482 00:24:33,438 --> 00:24:35,807 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NOW, I WONDER 483 00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:38,610 WHETHER CBS IS GOING TO BLUR THAT? 484 00:24:38,677 --> 00:24:40,478 BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST TALKING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED AND 485 00:24:40,545 --> 00:24:42,848 PUTTING A RING ON SOMEONE'S FINGER. 486 00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:43,715 THAT'S ALL THAT MEANS. 487 00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:45,150 >> THAT IS KIND OF PUTTING A RING ON IT. 488 00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:45,784 >> Stephen: EXACTLY. 489 00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:48,386 >> IT IS, IT IS. 490 00:24:48,453 --> 00:24:52,624 >> Stephen: DID THEY-- >> I DO NOT THINK-- LET ME JUST 491 00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:55,260 SAY THIS RIGHT OFF THE BAT, YOU SHOULD NOT LIE TO YOUR KIDS 492 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:56,328 ABOUT IT. 493 00:24:56,394 --> 00:24:59,030 IF THEY ASK IT MEANS BECAUSE THEY'RE CURIOUS AND AGE 494 00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:00,265 APPROPRIATE. 495 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:02,701 YOU SHOULD TELL THEM STRAIGHT UP WHAT IT IS, IF YOU SAY "STORK" 496 00:25:02,767 --> 00:25:06,571 LATER ON THEY'RE GOING TO ASK WHAT ELSE DOES SHE LIE TO ME 497 00:25:06,638 --> 00:25:07,505 ABOUT. 498 00:25:07,572 --> 00:25:09,207 THEY'RE GOING TO FIGURE OUT IT'S NOT STORKS. 499 00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:10,108 >> Stephen: I DIDN'T LAY. 500 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,576 I SAID, "ASK YOUR MOM." 501 00:25:11,643 --> 00:25:12,878 IT'S A DIRTY BUSINESS. 502 00:25:12,944 --> 00:25:14,012 >> STEPHEN! 503 00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:15,513 WE HAVE TO GET MORE MEN INVOLVEDLY IN THE CONVERSATION. 504 00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:16,448 >> Stephen: OKAY. 505 00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:18,516 >> BECAUSE ONE OF THE THINGS WE TALK ABOUT-- 506 00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:22,087 ( APPLAUSE ) ON THE PODCAST -- 507 00:25:22,153 --> 00:25:23,288 >> Stephen: YES? 508 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:27,259 >> IS HOW MUCH EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE AND MENTION AND HUSBANDS AND 509 00:25:27,325 --> 00:25:29,828 FATHERS AND BROTHERS-- LEAVE TO THE WOMEN IN THEIR LIVES. 510 00:25:29,895 --> 00:25:30,996 >> Stephen: OKAY. 511 00:25:31,062 --> 00:25:34,566 >> SO, YOU KNOW, FOR INSTANCE, LIKE, YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO 512 00:25:34,633 --> 00:25:37,502 TALK TO YOUR WIFE-- DO YOU BUY TAMPONS FOR YOUR WITH OF? 513 00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:39,504 >> Stephen: I HAVE, SURE, NOT A BIG DEAL. 514 00:25:39,571 --> 00:25:43,208 >> I HAVE A RULE-- IF HE'S NOT WILLING TO BUY TAMPONS FOR YOU, 515 00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:45,076 KICK HIM OUT OF THE BED. 516 00:25:45,143 --> 00:25:45,644 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 517 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:46,411 >> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. 518 00:25:46,478 --> 00:25:47,946 .>> THINGS LIKE THAT. 519 00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:49,180 >> Stephen: SURE. 520 00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:51,750 >> YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SAY, YOU KNOW, NAME YOUR BODY PARTS. 521 00:25:51,816 --> 00:25:55,453 THESE WORDS HAVE THIS INCREDIBLE STIGMA AND SHAME ATTACHED TO 522 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,057 THEM, WHICH I FIND, YOU NOW, IT'S NOT HEALTHY. 523 00:25:59,124 --> 00:26:00,158 >> Stephen: NOT AT ALL. 524 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:05,297 >> AND THE MORE WE CAN OPEN UP THESE CONVERSATIONS, THE 525 00:26:05,363 --> 00:26:13,138 HEALTHIER, MORE INTIMATE, AND MORE-- MY HOPE IS-- THE MORE 526 00:26:13,204 --> 00:26:16,675 DEEP INTERACTIONS MY SONS ARE GOING TO HAVE WITH OTHER HUMAN 527 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:17,542 BEINGS. 528 00:26:17,609 --> 00:26:18,209 >> Stephen: THAT'S LOVELY, THAT'S LOVELY. 529 00:26:18,276 --> 00:26:19,110 ( APPLAUSE ). 530 00:26:19,177 --> 00:26:21,446 >> SO THAT WAS-- >> Stephen: SO YOU NEED TO 531 00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:23,882 NAME-- >> NAME THE BODY PARTS. 532 00:26:23,949 --> 00:26:25,984 >> Stephen: NAME AND DESHAME. 533 00:26:26,051 --> 00:26:27,886 >> NAME AND DESHAME, GREAT IDEA. 534 00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:34,426 A BIG PARENT THAT DOESN'T GET NAMED FOR WOMEN, WE DO WHAT MY 535 00:26:34,492 --> 00:26:40,665 FRIEND PEGGY ORENSTEIN CALLS A... 536 00:26:40,732 --> 00:26:44,936 HERE'S YOUR NOSE, HERE'S YOUR BELLYBUTTON, HERE'S YOUR KNEES. 537 00:26:45,003 --> 00:26:47,505 AND BOYS HAVE A THING THAT STICKS OUT. 538 00:26:47,572 --> 00:26:50,008 THAT'S YOUR PEE PEE. 539 00:26:50,075 --> 00:26:50,809 THAT'S YOUR PENIS. 540 00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:52,444 GIRLS WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT PART. 541 00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:54,612 SOMETIMES YOU GET A VAGINA. 542 00:26:54,679 --> 00:26:57,048 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT? 543 00:26:57,115 --> 00:26:57,983 THE "G" SPOT. 544 00:26:58,049 --> 00:26:59,617 YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT WHERE THE GOOD STUFF IS. 545 00:26:59,684 --> 00:27:00,352 >> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY. 546 00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:01,553 >> YEAH. 547 00:27:01,619 --> 00:27:02,520 I DON'T KNOW-- ( APPLAUSE ) 548 00:27:02,587 --> 00:27:04,222 SHOULD WE SAY IT. 549 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:05,790 >> Stephen: OF COURSE YOU CAN OF COURSE YOU CAN? 550 00:27:05,857 --> 00:27:13,665 >> I MEAN, WE CAN ALL SAY CLITORIS TOGETHER. 551 00:27:13,732 --> 00:27:14,599 >> Stephen: GRAPHENBERG. 552 00:27:14,666 --> 00:27:16,668 >> IS THAT WHAT IT IS? 553 00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:20,505 >> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT THE "G" STANDS FOR. 554 00:27:20,572 --> 00:27:22,507 HEY, I'VE READ "PENTHOUSE." 555 00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:28,680 >> WE HAVE AN ENTIRE BIT ON THE PODCAST ABOUT ILLICIT IMAGINARY 556 00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:29,647 AND PORN. 557 00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:30,648 >> Stephen: THINGS YOU CAN'T SHOW EVEN IN PORN? 558 00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:34,419 >> I SUPPOSE NOWADAYS YOU COULD SHOW EVERYTHING. 559 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:39,190 BUT HOW OUR YOUNG PEOPLE, IF YOU LEAVE SEX ED UP TO, YOU KNOW, 560 00:27:39,257 --> 00:27:41,493 YOUNG PEOPLE, LIKE, IF YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS. 561 00:27:41,559 --> 00:27:42,694 >> Stephen: RIGHT. 562 00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:46,664 >> THEIR NUMBER ONE TEACHER THESE DAYS IS PORN, PORNOGRAPHY. 563 00:27:46,731 --> 00:27:49,634 AND IT'S SO ACCESSIBLE. 564 00:27:49,701 --> 00:27:52,270 ME, PERSONAL, I'D RATHER THEY HEAR STUFF FROM ME. 565 00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:53,671 >> Stephen: THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 566 00:27:53,738 --> 00:27:56,808 >> AND THEY HAVE A REAL LITERACY AROUND IT. 567 00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:58,276 >> Stephen: IT'S FANTASY. 568 00:27:58,343 --> 00:27:58,877 IT'S NOT REALITY. 569 00:27:58,943 --> 00:28:00,445 >> IT'S NOT REAL, EXACTLY. 570 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,247 >> Stephen: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT RAZOR BURN AT ALL. 571 00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:04,449 >> THEY DO NOT. 572 00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:07,285 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A 573 00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:10,488 QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE RETURN, ELIZABETH AND I WILL START 574 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:11,222 DRINKING. 575 00:28:11,289 --> 00:28:11,890 STICK AROUND. 576 00:28:11,956 --> 00:28:12,957 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 577 00:28:22,167 --> 00:28:27,072 WE'RE BACK WITH THE HOST OF "MY BODY, MY PODCAST," ELIZABETH 578 00:28:27,138 --> 00:28:28,273 BANKS. 579 00:28:28,339 --> 00:28:31,543 WERE YOU RAISED VERY OPENLY ABOUT THIS, OR WAS THERE SORT OF 580 00:28:31,609 --> 00:28:33,378 SHAME ASSOCIATED WITH THIS FOR YOU? 581 00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:38,817 >> I SPEAK WITH MY MOM ABOUT THIS ON THE PODCAST, BECAUSE ONE 582 00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:41,653 OF THE THINGS I TALK ABOUT IS HAVING A TRUSTED ADULT IN YOUR 583 00:28:41,719 --> 00:28:42,854 LIFE. 584 00:28:42,921 --> 00:28:45,723 I'M VERY LUCKY I HAD A TRUSTED ADULT IN MY MOM, AND A LITTLE 585 00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:49,761 BIT IN MY DAD, BUT REALLY MY MOM, SHE'S THE OLDEST OF SIX 586 00:28:49,828 --> 00:28:51,930 SISTERS AND ONE BROTHER, SO SEVEN WIDZ. 587 00:28:51,996 --> 00:28:53,231 >> Stephen: WOW. 588 00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:56,034 >> AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY INFORMATION GROWING UP, AND I 589 00:28:56,101 --> 00:29:00,105 THINK SHE REALLY FELT LIKE A WAY TO EMPOWER HER DAUGHTERS WAS TO 590 00:29:00,171 --> 00:29:02,841 GIVE THEM REAL INFORMATION AS SOON AS WE WERE READY, AND THEN 591 00:29:02,907 --> 00:29:08,046 SHE SAT US DOWN AND WE WATCHED "THE MIRACLE OF LIFE," NOVA'S 592 00:29:08,113 --> 00:29:09,114 DOCUMENTARY. 593 00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:10,381 IT'S THE MOST-WATCHED DOCUMENTARY OF ALL TIME, STILL 594 00:29:10,448 --> 00:29:11,316 AVAILABLE. 595 00:29:11,382 --> 00:29:14,285 AND JOHN LITHGOW DOES A WONDERFUL VOICEOVER. 596 00:29:14,352 --> 00:29:15,420 >> Stephen: SURE. 597 00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:23,628 >> AND I TO THIS DAY HAVE SEARED IN MY BRAIN THE IMAGE OF 598 00:29:23,695 --> 00:29:30,935 ( BLEEP ) INTO THE VAGINAL CANAL AND THE SPERM MAKING THEIR WAY 599 00:29:31,002 --> 00:29:35,573 TO THE EGG, AND YOU CAN HEAR THAT AND WATCH IT ALL RIGHT NOW, 600 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:39,544 YOU KNOW, WITH JOHN LITHGOW'S WONDERFUL VOICEOVER. 601 00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:40,211 >> Stephen: YOU CAN HEAR IT. 602 00:29:40,278 --> 00:29:44,082 >> YOU CAN LITERALLY HEAR IT. 603 00:29:44,149 --> 00:29:45,150 IT GOES WHOOOSH! 604 00:29:45,216 --> 00:29:46,050 ( LAUGHTER ) YEAH. 605 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,619 >> Stephen: THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. 606 00:29:47,685 --> 00:29:48,820 THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. 607 00:29:48,887 --> 00:29:49,954 >> DOESN'T IT? 608 00:29:50,021 --> 00:29:50,622 THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. 609 00:29:50,688 --> 00:29:53,057 >> Stephen: THAT RINGS A BELL. 610 00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:56,094 I WANT TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS, BUT SINCE WE ONLY HAVE A 611 00:29:56,161 --> 00:30:02,634 FEW MORE MINUTES, YOU ARE ALSO A CREATIVE CONSULTANT? 612 00:30:02,700 --> 00:30:03,401 WHAT IS IT? 613 00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:05,570 >> I'M THE CHIEF CREATIVE OFFICER. 614 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:13,011 >> Stephen: FOR A CANNED WINE COMPANY CALLED "ARCHER ROSE. 615 00:30:13,077 --> 00:30:14,746 >> THIS IS OUR ROSE. 616 00:30:14,812 --> 00:30:17,482 >> Stephen: WHERE DOES THE CREATIVE PART COME IN? 617 00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:18,850 THERE'S WINE, THERE'S A CAN. 618 00:30:18,917 --> 00:30:19,717 I'M CURIOUS. 619 00:30:19,784 --> 00:30:21,753 >> IT SAYS "CURIOUS" RIGHT ON THE BACK. 620 00:30:21,819 --> 00:30:25,957 >> Stephen: LOOK AT THIS UPON CHEERS, TO THE CLITORIS. 621 00:30:26,024 --> 00:30:27,759 >> BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL. 622 00:30:27,825 --> 00:30:30,028 >> Stephen: WELL, IT WAS LOVELY TO HAVE YOU, THANK YOU SO 623 00:30:30,094 --> 00:30:32,096 MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 624 00:30:32,163 --> 00:30:36,868 ( APPLAUSE ) "MY BODY, MY PODCAST" IS 625 00:30:36,935 --> 00:30:39,404 AVAILABLE ON AUDIBLE NOW. 626 00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:40,538 ELIZABETH BANKS, EVERYBODY! 627 00:30:40,605 --> 00:30:43,641 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAR OF "CSI: VEGAS," JORJA FOX. 628 00:30:43,708 --> 00:30:45,043 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 629 00:31:12,870 --> 00:31:17,342 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK! 630 00:31:17,408 --> 00:31:20,912 >> FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM "ER," "THE 631 00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:25,216 WEST WING," AND "CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION." 632 00:31:25,283 --> 00:31:28,519 SHE NOW STARS IN "CSI: VEGAS." 633 00:31:28,586 --> 00:31:29,220 >> MORNING. 634 00:31:29,287 --> 00:31:31,155 HOW YOU FEELING TODAY? 635 00:31:31,222 --> 00:31:33,625 >> OUT TO SEA. 636 00:31:33,691 --> 00:31:34,626 WHICH IS WHERE WE SHOULD BE. 637 00:31:34,692 --> 00:31:38,930 >> I HAVE MY MEETING ARE NORAH CROSS IN AN HOUR. 638 00:31:38,997 --> 00:31:40,131 DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS? 639 00:31:40,198 --> 00:31:44,869 >> SHE LIKES APPLES, HOLDS HER CARDS VERY CLOSE TO THE VEST. 640 00:31:44,936 --> 00:31:48,406 WOULDN'T EVEN SHOW ME THE METHODOLOGY SUPPOSEDLY USED TO 641 00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:49,674 REPLICATE D.N.A. IN 2006. 642 00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:51,909 >> I WISH I HAD MORE TIME IN THAT STORAGE SPACE. 643 00:31:51,976 --> 00:31:54,379 MAYBE WE WOULD KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE GUY BEHIND THIS. 644 00:31:54,445 --> 00:31:57,348 >> WELL, HODGES LEARNED MORE AT DISCOVERY. 645 00:31:57,415 --> 00:31:59,017 HIS ATTORNEY WILL GET TO SEE EVERYTHING THEY'VE GOT. 646 00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:00,752 >> THAT'S GOING TO BE TOO LATE. 647 00:32:00,818 --> 00:32:02,353 DISCOVERY IS WEEKS AWAY. 648 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:05,690 IF WE'RE GOING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE OF THESE GUYS FRAMED 649 00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,191 HODGES BEFORE TRIAL, WE HAVE TO PICK UP THE PACE. 650 00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:10,428 >> THAT WOMAN IS ALREADY SUSPICIOUS OF WHY WE'RE EVEN 651 00:32:10,495 --> 00:32:10,928 HERE. 652 00:32:10,995 --> 00:32:12,230 >> HAVE SOME FAITH. 653 00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:16,401 YOU KNOW HOW PERSUASIVE I CAN BE. 654 00:32:16,467 --> 00:32:20,305 > Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME JORJA FOX. 655 00:32:20,371 --> 00:32:22,707 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 656 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:34,018 ♪ DON'T STOP BREATHING ♪ 657 00:32:34,085 --> 00:32:36,487 ( APPLAUSE ) >> ARE WE IN HEAVEN? 658 00:32:36,554 --> 00:32:37,255 >> Stephen: WE MIGHT BE. 659 00:32:37,322 --> 00:32:38,690 WE MIGHT BE IN HEAVEN. 660 00:32:38,756 --> 00:32:39,724 >> I MIGHT BE IN HEAVEN. 661 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,193 I REALLY MIGHT BE IN HEAVEN. 662 00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:43,728 >> Stephen: SO NICE TO MEET YOU. 663 00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:44,629 THANKS FOR BEING HERE. 664 00:32:44,696 --> 00:32:46,164 >> WOW, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME. 665 00:32:46,230 --> 00:32:47,031 IT'S A THRILL. 666 00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:49,033 I HAVEN'T BEEN IN NEW YORK IN TWO YEARS. 667 00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:50,768 >> Stephen: OH, WOW, WELCOME BACK. 668 00:32:50,835 --> 00:32:52,804 >> I'M A NEW YORKER AND I'M BACK. 669 00:32:52,870 --> 00:32:53,338 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK. 670 00:32:53,404 --> 00:32:54,539 >> IT'S MAGIC. 671 00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:59,577 >> Stephen: YOU WERE ON "CSI" FOR 15 YEARS, AND YOU'RE BACK 672 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,846 FOR A 10-EPISODE RUN, IT LOOKS LIKE. 673 00:33:01,913 --> 00:33:02,780 >> YES. 674 00:33:02,847 --> 00:33:04,449 >> Stephen: FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SIX YEARS. 675 00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:05,683 >> YES. 676 00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:08,686 >> Stephen: WHAT'S IT LIKE TO STEP BACK INTO YOUR CHARACTER OF 677 00:33:08,753 --> 00:33:11,055 SARAH SIDLE AFTER THAT PERIOD OF TIME. 678 00:33:11,122 --> 00:33:14,692 I'M SURE AT A CERTAIN POINT YOU SAID,"I'M HANGING UP MY SPURS." 679 00:33:14,759 --> 00:33:18,363 >> OH, YEAH, WE THOUGHT WE WERE DONE, DONE, DONE. 680 00:33:18,429 --> 00:33:19,764 WE HAD AN AMAZING RUN. 681 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:20,965 WE HAD A FINALE. 682 00:33:21,032 --> 00:33:24,702 >> Stephen: AND THAT WAS THE ORIGINAL "CSI" THEY CREATED THE 683 00:33:24,769 --> 00:33:25,336 ENTIRE THING. 684 00:33:25,403 --> 00:33:27,739 >> THEY CREATED THIS THING. 685 00:33:27,805 --> 00:33:30,808 AND GIL GRISSOM AND SARAH SIDLE SAILED OFF INTO THE SUNSET. 686 00:33:30,875 --> 00:33:32,677 IT WAS A GREAT WAY TO GO OUT. 687 00:33:32,744 --> 00:33:34,512 AND THE BOOK IS CLOSED, THAT'S IT. 688 00:33:34,579 --> 00:33:36,647 I WAS COMPLETELY SURPRISED AND FLOORED. 689 00:33:36,714 --> 00:33:38,916 I THOUGHT FANS HAD MOVED ON, AUDIENCES. 690 00:33:38,983 --> 00:33:46,524 AND I WAS LIKE, "NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THIS 'CSI' STUFF ANYMORE," 691 00:33:46,591 --> 00:33:46,991 RIGHT. 692 00:33:47,058 --> 00:33:48,159 AND WE GOT A CALL. 693 00:33:48,226 --> 00:33:54,532 AND IT WAS PERCEIVED AS A 20th ANNIVERSARY, AND WE COULDN'T 694 00:33:54,599 --> 00:33:56,367 SHOOPT IT BECAUSE OF COVID, AND NOW IT'S "CSI: VEGAS." 695 00:33:56,434 --> 00:33:59,971 >> Stephen: DO YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT "CSI: VEGAS" IN VEGAS? 696 00:34:00,037 --> 00:34:00,738 >> SOMETIMES. 697 00:34:00,805 --> 00:34:01,973 >> Stephen: SOMETIMES. 698 00:34:02,039 --> 00:34:05,443 >> NOT FOR SUPER LONG PERIODS OF TIME, BECAUSE THINGS HAPPEN IN 699 00:34:05,510 --> 00:34:06,878 VEGAS -- >> Stephen: THAT SHOULD STAY 700 00:34:06,944 --> 00:34:07,545 IN VEGAS. 701 00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:08,546 >> THAT SHOULD ABSOLUTELY. 702 00:34:08,613 --> 00:34:10,281 >> Stephen: IT'S ALSO A VERY BUSY CITY. 703 00:34:10,348 --> 00:34:12,049 >> YEAH, AND IT DOESN'T STOP. 704 00:34:12,116 --> 00:34:13,484 >> Stephen: IT'S HARD TO BE LOW KEY THERE. 705 00:34:13,551 --> 00:34:16,220 >> IT'S NOT LIKE YOU SORT OF CLOSE THINGS DOWN AND YOU SHOOT. 706 00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:20,124 YOU SORT OF SHOOT IN THE MIDST OF VEGAS. 707 00:34:20,191 --> 00:34:23,027 CASINOS STAY OPEN, PEOPLE ARE DRINKING, THEY'RE GAMBLING. 708 00:34:23,094 --> 00:34:26,697 >> Stephen: NOW, AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS OF BEING-- ARE YOU A 709 00:34:26,764 --> 00:34:27,398 FORENSIC PATHOLOGIST? 710 00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:29,734 IS THAT WHAT YOUR CHARACTER IS? 711 00:34:29,801 --> 00:34:32,403 >> I'M SO MUCH SMARTER ON THE SHOW THAN I AM IN REAL LIFE. 712 00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:35,540 I'M A FORENSIC SCIENTIST. 713 00:34:35,606 --> 00:34:38,075 >> Stephen: AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS OF DOING AND DEAL WITH 714 00:34:38,142 --> 00:34:40,411 THAT JARGON AND UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR CHARACTER IS SAYING, DO YOU 715 00:34:40,478 --> 00:34:45,750 THINK YOU COULD HAVE ANY CHANCE AT ACTUALLY TRYING TO SOLVE A 716 00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:48,753 CRIME OR, BARRING THAT, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH 717 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:49,787 MURDER? 718 00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:54,392 ( LAUGHTER ) >> WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN THE SHOW 719 00:34:54,459 --> 00:34:57,395 STARTED IN 2000, RIGHT, THE SCIENCE WAS ABSOLUTELY CUTTING 720 00:34:57,462 --> 00:34:58,629 EDGE. 721 00:34:58,696 --> 00:35:00,665 YOU KNOW, EVERY DAY THERE WAS NEW SCIENCE COMING OUT, AND YOU 722 00:35:00,731 --> 00:35:03,034 COULD DETERMINE WITHOUT ANY SHADOW OF DOUBT, WHETHER 723 00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:05,536 SOMETHING HAPPENED OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. 724 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,673 AND 21 YEARS AGO, I SAID YOU CAN'T GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING. 725 00:35:08,739 --> 00:35:10,708 IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH IT. 726 00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:13,411 NOW, 21 YEARS LATER, THE ADVANCEMENTS IN LAST FIVE YEARS 727 00:35:13,478 --> 00:35:16,781 MAKE WHAT WE DID IN 2000 SEEM, YOU KNOW, ELEMENTARY. 728 00:35:16,848 --> 00:35:20,685 SO, NO, I DON'T THINK THAT ANYONE COULD EVER GET AWAY WITH 729 00:35:20,751 --> 00:35:21,352 ANYTHING. 730 00:35:21,419 --> 00:35:22,720 I DON'T THINK THEY SHOULD TRY. 731 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:23,488 >> Stephen: REALLY? 732 00:35:23,554 --> 00:35:24,789 THINK THEY SHOULD TRY. 733 00:35:24,856 --> 00:35:28,559 ( APPLAUSE ) WHERE DO I FIND THE COURAGE? 734 00:35:28,626 --> 00:35:32,296 >> I ALSO WISH THAT WE ACTUALLY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A SHOW, RIGHT, 735 00:35:32,363 --> 00:35:35,633 THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE THESE STORIES, YOU KNOW, IF WE LIVED 736 00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:38,769 IN A PEACEFUL WORLD, WE WOULDN'T HAVE THESE AMAZING STORIES TO 737 00:35:38,836 --> 00:35:40,872 TELL, BUT WE DON'T -- >> Stephen: BUT IT'S SUCHAVE 738 00:35:40,938 --> 00:35:41,806 GOOD SHOW. 739 00:35:41,873 --> 00:35:43,040 >> EXACTLY. 740 00:35:43,107 --> 00:35:45,243 >> Stephen: IT'S ALMOST WORTH HAVING THE CRIME AT THIS POINT. 741 00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:47,612 >> AND IT'S FUN TRYING TO SOLVE THEM. 742 00:35:47,678 --> 00:35:50,147 >> Stephen: WE BOTH WORK FOR CBS. 743 00:35:50,214 --> 00:35:50,948 DON'T KILL THIS. 744 00:35:51,015 --> 00:35:53,851 YOU'RE A GOOD LEAD-IN. 745 00:35:53,918 --> 00:35:56,621 YOU AND I BOTH ATTENDED THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' 746 00:35:56,687 --> 00:35:57,722 DINNER AT VARIOUS TIMES. 747 00:35:57,788 --> 00:36:00,625 YOU WERE LAST THERE IN 2000. 748 00:36:00,691 --> 00:36:03,127 >> 2000 WITH "THE WEST THING." 749 00:36:03,194 --> 00:36:04,228 >> Stephen: WHAT WAS THE NIGHT LIKE? 750 00:36:04,295 --> 00:36:05,396 DID YOU ENJOY IT? 751 00:36:05,463 --> 00:36:07,932 >> IT WAS-- IT WAS DEFINITELY MY CINDERELLA MOMENT. 752 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:08,599 THERE WAS NO QUESTION. 753 00:36:08,666 --> 00:36:10,401 I CAME FROM A VERY SMALL TOWN. 754 00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:11,602 I DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE. 755 00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:14,238 I NEVER IMAGINED IN MY LIFE-- FIRST OF ALL, THAT I WOULD BE 756 00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:16,941 HERE, BUT CERTAINLY THEY WOULD END UP IN D.C. AT THIS DINNER 757 00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:19,977 FOR JOURNALISTS, FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. 758 00:36:20,044 --> 00:36:21,979 AND IT CAME UP KIND OF LAST MINUTE. 759 00:36:22,046 --> 00:36:25,550 TE THE ENTIRE CAST OF "WEST WING" WAS THERE SHOOTING THE 760 00:36:25,616 --> 00:36:28,452 SERIES FINALE, AND WE GOT CALLS. 761 00:36:28,519 --> 00:36:31,923 LITERALLY LIKE, "YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO THE BALL." 762 00:36:31,989 --> 00:36:35,760 AND I BROUGHT JEANS AND SNEAKSERS, AND THEY FLEW IN ALL 763 00:36:35,826 --> 00:36:37,295 THESE GOWNS FOR US TO WEAR. 764 00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:37,862 IT WAS MAGIC. 765 00:36:37,929 --> 00:36:39,864 JAY LENO HOSTED IT. 766 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:43,935 AND IT WAS THE YEAR-- YOU MAY REMEMBER-- THAT BILL CLINTON, 767 00:36:44,001 --> 00:36:48,072 PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON, MADE THIS MOCKUMENTARY ABOUT HIS LAST 768 00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:49,740 DAYS IN OFFICE WHICH WAS REALLY FUNNY. 769 00:36:49,807 --> 00:36:52,043 >> Stephen: DID YOU GUYS DO ANY SIGHT SEEING AROUND 770 00:36:52,109 --> 00:36:52,543 WASHINGTON? 771 00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:54,545 >> OH, YES, WE DID. 772 00:36:54,612 --> 00:36:56,781 ACTUALLY ONE DAY-- WE WERE STATIONED-- I WAS PLAYING THE 773 00:36:56,847 --> 00:36:58,749 SECRET SERVICE AGENT TO THE PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER SO I SPENT 774 00:36:58,816 --> 00:37:01,852 SOME TIME WITH THE SECRET SERVICE, AMAZING PEOPLE. 775 00:37:01,919 --> 00:37:05,389 AND WE WERE SHOOTING VERY CLOSE TO THE WHITE HOUSE, YOU KNOW. 776 00:37:05,456 --> 00:37:10,595 AND SEVERAL DAYS, ONE AFTERNOON, BRADLEY WHITFORD, HE'S ON THE 777 00:37:10,661 --> 00:37:12,763 SHOW, PHENOMENAL MAN -- >> Stephen: SURE, JOSH. 778 00:37:12,830 --> 00:37:13,364 >> YES. 779 00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:16,200 AND HE GOT LATE DIALOGUE. 780 00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:19,437 AARON SORKIN SOMETIMES HAS GREAT IDEAS. 781 00:37:19,503 --> 00:37:22,340 HE WAS OUTSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE AND IN HIS SUIT, TOOK HIS JACKET 782 00:37:22,406 --> 00:37:26,277 OFF, WAS RUNNING HIS LINES AS WE DO SOMETIMES, TALKING TO 783 00:37:26,344 --> 00:37:28,346 HIMSELF, EMOTING, PUTTING IT INTO MOVEMENT. 784 00:37:28,412 --> 00:37:31,649 AND THE SECRET SERVICE TOTALLY DESCENDED ON HIM AND TOOK HIM IN 785 00:37:31,716 --> 00:37:33,284 AND THOUGHT HE WAS A MAD MAN. 786 00:37:33,351 --> 00:37:37,288 ( LAUGHTER ) THEY LET HIM GO. 787 00:37:37,355 --> 00:37:40,891 >> Stephen: DID AARON SORKIN HAVE TO GO AND SPRING HIM? 788 00:37:40,958 --> 00:37:45,630 >> THEY FIGURED IT OUT PRETTY QUICKLY THAT THERE HAD BEEN A 789 00:37:45,696 --> 00:37:46,230 MISTAKE. 790 00:37:46,297 --> 00:37:47,264 THEY WERE DOING THEIR JOB. 791 00:37:47,331 --> 00:37:48,899 THANK GOD THEY WERE KEEPING THE WHITE HOUSE SAFE. 792 00:37:48,966 --> 00:37:50,601 >> Stephen: THIS IS THE ESSENTIAL QUESTION HERE, 793 00:37:50,668 --> 00:37:54,171 BECAUSE, AGAIN, THERE ARE TWO GREAT CBS CRIME-SOLVING 794 00:37:54,238 --> 00:37:57,274 FRANCHISES HERE. 795 00:37:57,341 --> 00:38:02,213 THERE'S "CSI" AND "NCIS." 796 00:38:02,279 --> 00:38:05,316 IF THOSE TWO-- >> I FEEL THIS IS A SETUP. 797 00:38:05,383 --> 00:38:10,721 >> Stephen: IF YOU "CSI" PEOPLE FAWPT THE "NCIS" PEOPLE, 798 00:38:10,788 --> 00:38:11,989 WHO WOULD WIN? 799 00:38:12,056 --> 00:38:16,727 >> WELL, AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT "CSI" WOULD WIN, YOU 800 00:38:16,794 --> 00:38:18,162 KNOW, WE DON'T CARRY GUNS. 801 00:38:18,229 --> 00:38:20,398 WE HAVE MAGNIFYING GLASSES. 802 00:38:20,464 --> 00:38:20,898 ( LAUGHTER ). 803 00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:21,666 >> Stephen: SURE. 804 00:38:21,732 --> 00:38:24,268 >> YOU KNOW, WE'RE FLAWED HEROES. 805 00:38:24,335 --> 00:38:25,503 >> Stephen: SURE. 806 00:38:25,569 --> 00:38:27,705 >> THAT SOLVE CRIMES WITH OUR MINDS AND OUR HEARTS, AND THEY'D 807 00:38:27,772 --> 00:38:29,206 TOTALLY KICK OUR BUTS. 808 00:38:29,273 --> 00:38:33,411 >> Stephen: THEY HAVE LL COOL JAY. 809 00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:36,447 >> THEY DO, THEY HAVE FLAK JACKETS AND BIG GUNS. 810 00:38:36,514 --> 00:38:40,685 >> Stephen: CAN YOU ANSWER THIS: WHY IS THERE SO MUCH NAVAL 811 00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:41,519 CRIME? 812 00:38:41,585 --> 00:38:42,887 IT'S NAVAL CRIME INVESTIGATIVE SERVICE. 813 00:38:42,953 --> 00:38:45,423 WHY WHY IS THERE SO MUCH NAVAL CRIME IN LOS ANGELES? 814 00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:47,658 >> I'VE ASKED MYSELF THAT QUESTION. 815 00:38:47,725 --> 00:38:48,926 >> Stephen: NO ONE CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION FOR ME. 816 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:55,966 >> YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF CRIME THERE? 817 00:38:56,033 --> 00:38:58,302 >> Stephen: JORJA IT IS SO NICE TO HAVE YOU THERE. 818 00:38:58,369 --> 00:38:59,837 >> THANK YOU. 819 00:38:59,904 --> 00:39:01,372 >> Stephen: "CSI: VEGAS" AIRS WEDNESDAYS AT 10:00 ON CBS AND 820 00:39:01,439 --> 00:39:02,440 IS STREAMING ON PARAMOUNT+. 821 00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:06,377 IT'S JORJA FOX, EVERYBODY! 822 00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:13,551 >> CHAIRMAN IS THE SELECT COMMITTEE TO INVESTIGATE THE 823 00:39:13,617 --> 00:39:17,621 JANUARY 6 ATTACK AWARE OF THE "ROLLING STONE" REPORT, IF ONLY 824 00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:20,591 BECAUSE MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENWAS SPRINTING AROUND THE HOLOCAUST 825 00:39:20,658 --> 00:39:22,893 MUSEUM BRAGGING DID IT. 826 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:26,464 >> SARAH, WE CERTAINLY ARE AWARE OF THE REPORT, AND OUR A POUR 827 00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:29,734 PART OF OUR INVESTIGATION IS TO FIND OUT WHAT ROLE ANYBODY 828 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,003 PLAYED IN THE PLANNING AND CONDUCTING THAT ATTACK ON 829 00:39:33,070 --> 00:39:34,171 JANUARY 6. 830 00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:37,208 ON A VERY NONPARTISAN BASIS WE'RE DETERMINED TO GET TO THE 831 00:39:37,274 --> 00:39:39,777 PROOF, AND NO ONE IS ABOVE OUR EXAMINATION. 832 00:39:39,844 --> 00:39:42,379 >> I WILL SAY THIS REPORT IS SUSPECT CONSIDERING IT DOESN'T 833 00:39:42,446 --> 00:39:47,952 MAIM THE HOUSE REPUBLICAN WHO EVERY NIGHT STUFFS HIS MOUTH 834 00:39:48,018 --> 00:39:50,955 WITH SOCKS SO HE DOESN'T ADMIT TO ANYTHING IN HIS SLEEP, JIM 835 00:39:51,021 --> 00:39:51,322 JORDAN. 836 00:40:02,366 --> 00:40:03,768 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 837 00:40:03,834 --> 00:40:07,505 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE JOHN LEGUIZAMO AND 838 00:40:07,571 --> 00:40:08,873 THOMASIN McKENZIE. 839 00:40:08,939 --> 00:40:10,407 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 840 00:40:10,474 --> 00:40:11,275 GOOD NIGHT! 841 00:40:11,342 --> 00:40:21,318 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 842 00:40:21,385 --> 00:40:31,662 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 843 00:40:31,729 --> 00:40:37,668 >> Stephen: YOU DON'T PUT ON TOO MUCH, YOU JUST WALK THROUGH, 844 00:40:37,735 --> 00:40:38,702 LIKE THAT.