>> A KEY PART OF THE DEMOCRATS' CLIMATE AGENDA IS LIKELY TO BE
CUT FROM THE RECONCILIATION PACKAGE, AFTER OPPOSITION FROM
DEMOCRATIC SENATOR JOE MANCHIN OF WEST VIRGINIA.
>> JOE MANCHIN, SENATOR FROM WEST VIRGINIA, MADE A
HALF MILLION DOLLARS ON COAL PRODUCTION LAST YEAR.
HIS SON RUNS A COAL COMPANY THAT HE FOUNDED, AND HE'S GOT MORE
DONATIONS FROM FOSSIL FUEL COMPANIES THAN ANYONE ELSE IN
THE SENATE.
>> THE "NEW YORK TIMES," THIS MORNING, HAS A STORY ON ITS
FRONT PAGE INDICATING THAT WEST VIRGINIA'S FLOODING, AND
IT'S BECAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING.
>> IT'S "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH STSTEPHEN COLBERT!
TONIGHT, STEVEN WELCOMES CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF, AND
MUSICAL GUEST KACEY MUSGRAVES!
FEATURING J JOHN BATTIST AND STA HUMAN.
AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN.
WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A LOVELY WAY TO GET BACK
TO WORK.
A LOVELY SOUND TO HEAR AGAIN.
GREAT TO BE BACK.
WE HAVE BEEN OFF THE AIR FOR A WEEK.
WHILE WE WERE GONE, MAJOR NEWS ABOUT THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN
THE WORLD, SUPERMAN.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS WEEKEND
, D.C. COMICS ANNOUNCED THAT SUPERMAN IS
CHANGING HIS MOTTO TO "TRUTH JUSTICE AND A BETTER TOMORROW."
THIS, OF COURSE, A BIG CHANGE FROM HIS ORIGINAL MOTTO:
"WEARING UNDERWEAR ON THE OUTSIDE SINCE 1938."
AND I'M BEING TOLD WE MADE THAT AND HE'S PROUD.
BIG BOY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
AND I'M BEING TOLD WE MADE THAT UP.
( LAUGHTER ) HIS PREVIOUS MOTTO WAS
"TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN WAY."
BUT, YOU KNOW, MAKES SENSE TO CHANGE IT.
IF SUPERMAN REALLY FOLLOWED THE CURRENT AMERICAN WAY, HE
WOULD FLY TO SCHOOL BOARD MEETINGS TO SCREAM ABOUT HOW THE
VACCINE GAVE HIM HEAT VISION.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, CHANGING THE SLOGAN FOR
THIS CARTOON HAS MADE A LOT OF PEOPLE ANGRY, WHICH OF COURSE
"IS" THE AMERICAN WAY.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT FOR THE RECORD, THE
"AMERICAN WAY" SLOGAN WAS NOT HIS ORIGINAL MOTTO.
IT WAS ADDED LATER ON THE "SUPERMAN RADIO SHOW" THAT
MADE ITS DEBUT DURING WORLD WAR II.
BUT A LOT HAS CHANGED SINCE THE 40S.
BACK THEN, SUPERMAN WAS ALSO DOING ADS FOR CIGARETTES.
"BE LIKE SUPERMAN! SMOKE CHESTERTONS AND YOU'LL NEVER
DIE!" ( LAUGHTER )
D.C. COMICS EXPLAINED THE SLOGAN CHANGE IN A STATEMENT, SAYING
IT'S INTENDED TO "HONOR SUPERMAN'S INCREDIBLE LEGACY OF
OVER 80 YEARS OF BUILDING A BETTER WORLD," ADDING
"THE NEW CATCHPHRASE IS MEANT TO FULLY EMBODY THAT HOPE FOR
EVERYONE."
OR AS FOX NEWS PUT IT: "NEW COMMUNIST SUPERMAN CANCELS
MR. POTATO HEAD'S CHRISTMAS PENIS."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
OF COURSE, I'M KIDDING BUT NOT BY MUCH.
>> THIS IS MAYBE TO MAKE SUPERMAN PALATABLE TO THE
COMMUNIST PARTY OF CHINA...
>> I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD CHANGE THE MOTTO OF SUPERMAN,
TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE AMERICAN WAY, NANCY.
WHAT WAY SHOULD WE HAVE?
THE COMMUNIST CHINA WAY?
SHOULD WE HAVE THE TALIBAN WAY?
>> I'M GOING TO CALL HIM SUPERMAN AND I'M GOING
TO SAY THE AMERICAN WAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.
>> STEPHEN: AND THEY'RE GOING TO SAY: "OKAY, AUNT NANCY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE OF JACK AND GIVE ME THAT
STEAK KNIFE?" ( LAUGHTER )
OKAY?
PUT IT -- GIVE ME THE -- IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.
IT'S GOING TO BE -- ( APPLAUSE )
BUT I'VE GOT MY OWN BONE TO PICK WITH SUPERMAN'S NEW MOTTO:
"A BETTER TOMORROW?" SOUNDS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE
MOTTO OF MY OLD COLBERT SUPER PAC: "MAKING A BETTER TOMORROW,
TOMORROW."
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) THIS IS BAD, D.C. COMICS.
NOW THAT THIS IS OUT THERE, PEOPLE MIGHT COME TO THE
MISTAKEN CONCLUSION THAT I, STEPHEN COLBERT, AM
SECRETLY SUPERMAN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: OH, OH, YES!
YES!
>> Stephen: NO!
NO!
( AUDIENCE CHANTING STEVEN ) >> Jon: TAKE OFF THE GLASSES!
>> Stephen: THAT -- THAT WOULD BE --
( LAUGHTER ) -- TOTALLY WRONG.
SHHHHHH.
( APPLAUSE ) SPEAKING OF THE MAN OF STEEL,
THIS WEEKEND WE GOT A SURPRISE MEDIA APPEARANCE FROM FORMER
BRITISH SPY AND MAN WHO'S HAIR IS BUSINESS IN THE FRONT
WEREWOLF ON THE NECK, CHRISTOPHER STEELE.
HE'S THE AUTHOR OF THE FAMOUS STEELE DOSSIER ABOUT FORMER
PRESIDENT JACKASS O'LANTERN.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
SURE, WHY NOT?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
AND EXTRA POINTS FOR BEING SEASONAL.
>> Jon: YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: PRIOR TO THE 2016 ELECTION, THIS
DOSSIER ALLEGED, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THAT THE RUSSIANS HAD A
VIDEOTAPE OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAVING PROSTITUTES PEE
ON A HOTEL BED WHERE PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA ONCE SLEPT IN
MOSCOW.
EVEN WORSE, HE LATER FILLED OBAMA'S OVAL OFFICE DESK CHAIR
WITH A NEO-FASCIST GRIFTER CONSTANTLY LEAKING BURGER FARTS.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, THE SO-CALLED "PEE-PEE
TAPE" WAS NEVER RELEASED, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I PRAYED.
BUT IN AN INTERVIEW WITH ABC, STEELE SAYS THE FORMER
PRESIDENT'S PEE TAPE 'PROBABLY' EXISTS.
NO -- NO, CHRISTOPHER STEELE, YOU WILL
NOT GET MY HOPES UP AGAIN.
I HAVE MOVED ON.
MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS!
THIS SHOW HAD AN OFFICIAL LAST PEE PEE TAPE JOKE ON
JANUARY 25TH.
YOU CAN'T GET ME TO TALK ABOUT THIS UNTIL THE ACTUAL TAPE HAS
BEEN RELEASED.
OR AT LEAST STREAMED.
( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU.
I'M WARNING YOU STEELE.
IF THIS TURNS OUT TO BE A FALSE REPORT AGAIN,
"URINE" TROUBLE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
STEELE ISN'T THE FIRST BRITISH SPY TO UNCOVER INTERNATIONAL
URINATION.
WHO CAN FORGET THRILLERS LIKE: "TINKLE TAILOR SOLDIER SPY."
"THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN MATTRESS"
AND "DR. NO THANK YOU I DON'T
NEED A BATHROOM I'LL JUST PEE ON THE BED"
>> Jon: OH, MY.
>> Stephen: STEELE ISN'T THE ONLY ONE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE
TAPE.
AT A DONOR RETREAT LAST WEEK, THE FORMER PRESIDENT SAID, OUT
OF NOWHERE "I'M NOT INTO GOLDEN SHOWERS."
( LAUGHTER ) UM... NO ONE ASKED YOU.
WHEN NO ONE IS BRINGING UP THE THING THAT YOU FAMOUSLY DENY,
YOU SHOULDN'T BRING IT UP EITHER.
YOU DON'T HEAR PAUL MCCARTNEY BEGIN HIS CONCERTS BY SAYING:
(AS MCCARTNEY) "HELLO NEW YORK.
I DID NOT SECRETLY DIE IN 1966 AND GET REPLACED BY A LOOKALIKE
FROM CANADA, EH?...
DAMMIT!" ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
LEFT-HANDED.
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: I'M PLAYING HOFFNER UP HERE.
>> Jon: YEP, YEP.
>> Stephen: THEN THE FORMER PRESIDENT CITED MILLENIA SAYING,
"YOU KNOW THE GREAT THING, OUR GREAT FIRST LADY... 'THAT ONE,'
SHE SAID, 'I DON'T BELIEVE THAT ONE.'"
YES, SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE 'THAT' ONE.
(AS MELANIA) "HAVING PROSTITUTES PEE ON A
BED, THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE MY HUSBAND.
NOW, GETTING SPANKED WITH A FORBES MAGAZINE WITH HIM ON
THE COVER AND THEN RAW-DOGGING THAT PORN STAR AT A CELEBRITY
GOLF TOURNAMENT WEEKS AFTER I GAVE BIRTH TO OUR CHILD?
THAT'S THE MAN I MARRIED."
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS!
( PIANO RIFF ) >
SPEAKING OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT, THE HOUSE
SELECT COMMITTEE INVESTIGATING THE JANUARY 6 CAPITOL RIOT IS
CRACKING DOWN ON HIS AIDES, ESPECIALLY DISGRACED STRATEGIST
AND WATERLOGGED NICK NOLTE, STEVE BANNON.
THE COMMITTEE SUBPOENAED BANNON TO TESTIFY ABOUT WHITE HOUSE
PLANNING PRIOR TO THE RIOT, BUT BANNON REFUSED,
CLAIMING EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE EVEN THOUGH
BANNON WASN'T SERVING IN GOVERNMENT AT THE TIME OF THE
ATTACK.
THAT'S LIKE SAYING: "YOU CAN'T ARREST ME FOR MAKING
CRYSTAL METH IN MY BATHTUB.
I FILLED IT WITH PERRIER.
IT'S INTERNATIONAL WATERS!" ( LAUGHTER )
NO ONE BUT NOBODY -- ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SURE!
NO BUBBLY.
NO ONE'S BUYING THE EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE ARGUMENT, AND ON
THURSDAY THE COMMITTEE ANNOUNCED IT WAS REFERRING STEVE
BANNON FOR CRIMINAL CONTEMPT OF CONGRESS.
YES!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES!
( APPLAUSE ) STEVE BANNON MIGHT BE GOING TO
JAIL!
INSTEAD OF JUST LOOKING LIKE HE'S BEEN THERE FOR 30 YEARS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'LL TALK ABOUT ALL THIS WITH MY
GUEST TONIGHT, JANUARY 6 COMMITTEE MEMBER, REPRESENTATIVE
ADAM SCHIFF.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) RIGHT OVER THERE.
WHAT?
THAT'S AN EXCLUSIVE?
OVER IN THE COVID WORLD, CASES ARE ON THE DECLINE.
A LOT OF THAT IS BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE GETTING THEIR SHOTS, AND
MORE ARE ON THE WAY.
LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM.
BECAUSE LAST WEEK, AN F.D.A.
PANEL RECOMMENDED APPROVING COVID VACCINE BOOSTERS FOR
MODERNA, AND JOHNSON & JOHNSON.
YOU'LL END UP GETTING SO MANY SHOTS AT CVS
YOUR VACCINE CARD WILL LOOK LIKE ONE OF THEIR RECEIPTS.
( LAUGHTER ) CBS FANS.
( APPLAUSE ) BUT ONE OF THESE VACCINES IS NOT
LIKE THE OTHERS.
FOR BOTH PFIZER AND MODERNA, THE RECOMMENDATION IS THAT AFTER 6
MONTHS, PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF 65 OR WHO HAVE PREEXISTING
CONDITIONS, SHOULD GET A BOOSTER.
BUT FOR JOHNSON AND JOHNSON, THE PANEL RECOMMENDS BOOSTERS FOR
"PEOPLE 18 AND OLDER," AND IT CAN BE GIVEN "TWO MONTHS AFTER
THE FIRST SHOT."
COOL!
YOU KNOW WHEN THAT INFORMATION WOULD HAVE COME IN HANDY?
TWO MONTHS AFTER THE FIRST SHOT!
( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
THIS IS BECAUSE J&J IS FAR LESS EFFECTIVE THAN THE OTHER TWO
VACCINES AT PREVENTING SERIOUS ILLNESS.
BUT ACCORDING TO DR. FAUCI, THERE'S NO NEED TO FREAK OUT:
>> WE KNOW THIS VACCINE WAS NOT AS EFFECTIVE AS OTHERS, SO
SHOULD THOSE 15 MILLION PEOPLE WHO GOT THE VACCINE BE CONCERNED
GIVEN THESE RECOMMENDATIONS?
>> NO NOT AT ALL, MARTHA, I THINK THAT THEY SHOULD FEEL GOOD
ABOUT IT BECAUSE WHAT THE ADVISERS TO THE F.D.A. FELT, IS
THAT GIVEN THE DATA THAT THEY SAW, VERY LIKELY, THIS SHOULD
HAVE BEN A TWO-DOSE VACCINE TO BEGIN WITH.
>> STEPHEN: OBVIOUSLY.
THE NAME ITSELF HAS TWO DOSES: "JOHNSON,"... "AND JOHNSON."
JUST LIKE HOW WE'RE GETTING "MO" DERNA.
THAT'S SCIENCE.
THAT'S NOT THE ONLY HOT NEWS/ DR. FAUCI
DROPPED THIS WEEKEND.
HE ALSO SAVED CHRISTMAS!
>> IF YOU ARE VACCINATED AND YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE
VACCINATED, THOSE WHO ARE ELIGIBLE, AND THAT IS OBVIOUSLY
VERY YOUNG CHILDREN ARE NOT YET ELIGIBLE, THEN YOU CAN ENJOY THE
HOLIDAYS.
>> STEPHEN: SORRY KIDS, SANTA'S ONLY COMING FOR FULLY VACCINATED
ADULTS THIS CHRISTMAS.
(AS SANTA) "HO HO HO!
YOU'VE BEEN GOOD LITTLE GROWNUPS THIS YEAR, SO I BROUGHT YOU A
LINEN DUVET COVER AND A LARGE-PRINT TOM
CLANCY!" ( LAUGHTER )
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT, MY GUEST IS CONGRESSMAN
ADAM SCHIFF, BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, GWYNETH PINCHES
OUT HER BIGGEST GOOP EVER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK!
SAY HI TO JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN," LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪
GOOD TO SEE Y'ALL.
HEY, EVERYBODY!
HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING OVER THERE?
GOOD TO SEE THE WHOLE BAND AGAIN.
I MISS YOU GUYS WHEN YOU AREN'T AROUND.
SOME PART OF MY SOUL IS NOT FULFILLED WITH THE BEAUTIFUL
JAZZ YOU'RE PLAYING EVERY NIGHT OVER THERE.
>> Jon: WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK.
>> Stephen: I'M TALKING TO ADAM SCHIFF.
LAST TIME HE WAS HERE, WAS IN 2019, WHEN HE WAS LEADING THE
IMPEACHMENT OF THE PRESIDENT FOR THE FIRST TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) ONE MORE -- THAT'S BEEN TWO
IMPEACHMENTS.
ONE MORE AND THIS THEY GIVE SCHIFF A FREE HOAGIE, I THINK.
( APPLAUSE ) HE'LL BE HERE TO TALK ABOUT
THAT.
ANYWAY, STICK AROUND FOR THAT.
IT'S GOING TO BE HOT!
FOLKS, EVEN THOUGH WE'RE STILL DEALING WITH COVID
FOLKS ARE STARTING TO DO THINGS IN PERSON AGAIN.
BROADWAY SHOWS, LATE NIGHT TAPINGS --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BUT WE'RE NOT THE ONLY
ONES BACK DOING LIVE EVENTS.
SO IS GOOP FOUNDER, LIFESTYLE GURU, AND PAINTING WHOSE EYES
FOLLOW YOUR WALLET AROUND THE ROOM, GWYNETH PALTROW.
ANY GOOP-STRONAUTS WATCHING WILL BE THRILLED TO KNOW THAT GWYNETH
HAS ANNOUNCED THAT NEXT MONTH, SHE'S BRINGING BACK GOOP'S LIVE,
IN-PERSON WELLNESS SUMMIT: "IN GOOP HEALTH".
IT'S A PLAY ON IN "GOOD" HEALTH, THE SAME WAY EVERYTHING GOOP
SELLS IS A PLAY ON SOMETHING THAT WOULD BE GOOD FOR YOU.
HERE'S A TASTE OF WHAT GOOP SUMMITTERS CAN EXPERIENCE:
>> IN GOOP HEALTH IS BACK WITH OUR FIRST IN-PERSON SUMMIT IN A
LONG TIME.
WE DREAMED THIS ONE UP WITH SOME VERY SPECIAL THOUGHT LEADERS.
AS ALWAYS, THERE WILL BE WORKSHOPS, CONVERSATIONS
COMMUNITY, AND GOOD FOOD.
BUT THIS TIME, WE'RE ALSO GONNA TRY SOMETHING NEW.
SEE YA THERE!
>> STEPHEN: GOT IT.
( LAUGHTER ) SO THE NEW TWIST IS
POWER-SLIDING A PORSCHE CARRERA THROUGH WHAT APPEARS TO
BE THE BLOOD OF THE LESS FORTUNATE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IT'S FUN.
IT LOOKS REALLY FUN.
( LAUGHTER ) GWYNETH EXPLAINED THE PORSCHE
TIE-IN, SAYING: >> "WE WANT TO CONNECT WITH AND
EXPERIENCE PLEASURE IN OUR BODIES.
WE WANT TO FEEL IT ALL.
WHICH IS WHY WE'RE TEAMING UP WITH PORSCHE."
WOAH, I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
LADIES, NO MATTER WHAT, DO NOT LET GWYNETH PALTROW TALK YOU
INTO VALET PARKING A PORSCHE IN YOUR VAGINA.
( LAUGHTER ) IN ADDITION TO PAYING TO BE IN A
CAR COMMERCIAL, GOOPSTERS WILL ALSO ATTEND BREAKOUT SESSIONS ON
SUBJECTS LIKE, "CULTIVATING CREATIVITY," "GETTING THE LOVE
YOU WANT," AND "FINDING PURPOSE THROUGH ASTROLOGY."
AND IF THAT SOUNDS LIKE CRAP TO YOU,
YOU'RE SUCH A TAURUS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
YOU'LL ALSO GET TO HEAR FROM GWYNETH HERSELF, AS SHE LEADS
"CONVERSATIONS WITH BRIGHT MINDS WHO ARE PUSHING THE CULTURE
FORWARD" AND WILL "COVER A LOT OF GROUND WITH THE PEOPLE WHO
ARE REDEFINING AND MOVING THE NEEDLE," "WITH THE INTENTION OF
ENGAGING WITH OUR DREAMS IN NEW WAYS."
OR, TO PUT THAT IN A SIMPLER WAY: SHE'S RECENTERING YOUR
CHAKRAL PULSE POINTS BY SYNERGIZING YOUR INTERNAL
MOONSCAPE WITH YOUR CRYSTAL HEALTH POTENTIAL, SO AS TO
BETTER FOCUS ON THE HEURISTIC SIPHONING OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND ENGAGING WITH YOUR DREAMS IN NEW WAYS AIN'T CHEAP.
A GENERAL SUMMIT PASS COSTS $1000, WHILE A V.I.P. SUMMIT
PASS COSTS $1,450, BUT INCLUDES ADDITIONAL PERKS LIKE "AN ASK ME
ANYTHING SESSION" WITH GWYNETH.
GATHERING: SUMMIT-TON HOUSE.
( SOFT MUSIC ) >> BAROQUE SIMPLICITY, SHABBY
ELEGANCE, GIVE ME MONEY.
COVET-TOWNHOUSE.
>> Stephen: WELCOME TO SUMMIT-TON: YOU KNOW
OUR MOTTO: PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
WE AT SUMMIT-TON THINK ASTROLOGY IS FOR RUBES.
INSTEAD, WE'RE OFFERING SEMINARS LIKE, "CREATIVELY CULTIVATING
CREATIVITY CULTIVATION," "GETTING THE LOVE YOU CRAVE BY
BUYING MERCH," AND "DEFINING YOUR ENTIRE PERSONALITY THROUGH
BULLET JOURNALING."
THESE SEMINARS REDEFINE PUSHING THE INTENTION-GROUND AND ENGAGE
THE NEEDLE IN NEW DREAMS.
NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT?
WELL, TAKE IT UP WITH YOUR BULLET JOURNAL.
AND GOOP MAY BE OFFERING HAIRPIN CORNER TOKYO DRIFTING IN A
MAXED-OUT PORSCHE BUT THIS YEAR'S SUMMIT-TON IS
TRYING SOMETHING NEW, SO IT WILL BE HELD AT THE STAPLES CENTER IN
PARTNERSHIP WITH "TRUCKPOCALYPSE!!!"
THE WEST COAST'S HIGHEST MORTALITY MONSTER TRUCK DERBY.
CONNECT WITH YOUR BODY AND FEEL ALL OF IT BEING RUN OVER BY THE
GRAVEDIGGER.
ALL OF THIS AND NOT MORE CAN BE YOURS FOR THE LOW, HIGH PRICE OF
$8,000.
UNLESS YOU WANT THE SUMMIT-TON VIP PASS, WHICH COSTS $80,000
AND INCLUDES A TELL ME ANYTHING SESSION WITH STEPHEN
COLBERT.
SPECIFICALLY, YOUR ROUTING NUMBER, YOUR SOCIAL, AND YOUR
MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME.
( APPLAUSE ) SO JOIN US, WON'T YOU?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO JOIN US AT SUMMITON HOUSE,
WHERE WE GUARANTEE BETTER HEALTH, OR YOUR MONEY IS STILL
OURS.
( LAUGHTER ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW"!
FOLKS, MY GUEST TONIGHT HAS SPENT OVER
20 YEARS IN CONGRESS, LEADS THE HOUSE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE,
AND ALSO SITS ON THE SELECT COMMITTEE ON THE JANUARY 6TH
ATTACK.
HE'S WRITTEN A NEW BOOK CALLED "MIDNIGHT IN WASHINGTON."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW,"
CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪
>> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
AS I WAS TELLING THE PEOPLE EARLIER, TWO YEARS AGO, YOU WERE
HERE IMPEACHING THE FORMER PRESIDENT, BUT NOW YOU'RE ON THE
JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE ABOUT TO HOLD BANNON IN CONTEMPT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) PRESIDENT BIDEN HAS SAID -- LET
ME GET THIS RIGHT -- HE HOPES THE COMMITTEE "GOES AFTER HIM."
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?
>> WE'RE GOING AFTER HIM.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT
MEAN?
IT FEELS UNUSUAL THAT CONGRESS OR A CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE IS
ENFORCING A SUBPOENA.
WHY IS THIS SUCH A RARE EVENT?
>> WELL, BECAUSE, FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS, WHEN YOU HAD
SESSIONS AND BILL BARR RUNNING THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, THEY
VIEWED THEIR JOB, PARTICULARLY BILL BARR, AS ESSENTIALLY THE
CRIMINAL DEFENSE FIRM FOR DONALD TRUMP, AND THERE WAS LITTLE
POINT IN HOLDING WITNESSES WHO DIDN'T SHOW UP ACCOUNTABLE BY
REFERRING THEM TO PROSECUTION BECAUSE, AFTER ALL, WE HELD BILL
BARR IN CONTEMPT.
IF HE WASN'T GOING TO PROSECUTE HIMSELF, HE CERTAINLY WASN'T
GOING TO PROSECUTE OTHERS FOR IGNORING .
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T SEND OUT THE SERGEANT AT ARMS TO COLLAB
SOMEBODY IN IRONS AND DRAG THEM IN?
>> ACTUALLY, IN THE PAST, ABOUT 100 YEARS AGO, WE COULD DO THAT.
THERE WAS A JAIL, AND WE MIGHT NEED TO BRING IT BACK.
>> Stephen: EARLIER IN THE MONOLOGUE,OFFS SAYING BANNON
WASN'T IN THE ADMINISTRATION AT THE TIME SO THE EXERTION OF
EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE WAS NOT BEING SUPPORTED BY THE BIDEN
ADMINISTRATION.
MAKES HIM KIND OF A SOFT TARGET HERE.
IS IT BECAUSE OF WHAT HE KNOWS OR WHAT HE REPRESENTS THAT IT'S
SO IMPORTANT TO ACTUALLY BRING THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE SUBPOENA?
>> IT'S REALLY BOTH.
CERTAINLY, WHAT HE KNOWS IS REALLY IMPORTANT, AND ON JANUARY
INSURRECTION, HE WAS TELLING PEOPLE ALL HELL WAS GOING TO
BREAK LOOSE THE NEXT DAY.
HE WAS, AS WE UNDERSTAND, IN CONTINUED COMMUNICATION WITH THE
FORMER PRESIDENT.
SO THERE'S A LOT HE CAN TELL US ABOUT WHAT WENT ON IN THE RUNUP
TO JANUARY 6th, WHAT THE PRESIDENT MAY HAVE KNOWN ABOUT
THE PROPENSITY OF VIOLENCE, THE PARTICIPATION OF WHITE
NATIONALIST GROUPS, SO HE IS A VERY PERTINENT WITNESS, BUT IT'S
ALSO REALLY IMPORTANT RIGHT FROM THE START THAT WE ESTABLISH
THAT, IF YOU IGNORE YOUR LAWFUL REQUIREMENT OF TESTIFYING WHEN
YOU'RE SUBPOENAED, YOU WILL GO TO JAIL.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I'M SO GLAD TO
HEAR THAT.
YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE MOST FRUSTRATING THINGS AND THE MOST
DISHEARTENING THINGS ABOUT THE LAST FOUR YEARS IS NOT JUST WHAT
HAPPENED, THOUGH CERTAINLY THAT KEPT YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT, IT'S
THAT THERE DIDN'T SEEM TO BE ANY CONSEQUENCES FOR ANYONE FLOUTING
THE RULE OF LAW OR THE EQUAL POWERS OF THE SEPARATE PARTS OF
OUR GOVERNMENT.
HOW LONG -- HAT'S THE TIMELINE ON THIS, HOW LONG BEFORE YOU
MIGHT BE ABLE TO TALK TO -- >> WELL, WE'RE GOING TO PURSUE
THE VOTE TOMORROW NIGHT.
THE HOUSE WILL VOTE TO HOLD HIM IN CRIMINAL CONTEMPT AND THE
SPEAKER SENDS IT TO THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT AND WE WILL EXPECT
THEM TO ACT QUICKLY.
JUST TO YOUR BROADER POINT, THOUGH, ABOUT WHY PEOPLE GOT THE
SENSE THAT THEY COULD IGNORE THE LAW WITH IMPUNITY, THEY DID THAT
FOR FOUR YEARS, AND EVEN NOW I HAVE TO SAY -- AND THIS IS, I
THINK, A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHERE I AM AND WHERE THE JUSTICE
DEPARTMENT IS -- I THINK YOU HAVE TO INVESTIGATE ALL OF THE
PRESIDENT'S FORMER CRIMES.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I DON'T THINK YOU CAN IGNORE
THEM, AND I SAY THAT BECAUSE, IF ANYONE IN THIS AUDIENCE SAID
CALL THE SECRETARY OF STATE OF GEORGIA AND SAY I WANT YOU TO
FIND 11,780 VOTES THAT DON'T EXIST AND SUGGESTED THAT THEY
MIGHT BE PROSECUTED IF THEY DIDN'T, YOU WOULD GO TO JAIL.
AND I THINK THAT YOU CAN HAVE A SITUATION WHERE YOU -- THAT YOU
CAN'T HAVE A SITUATION WHERE YOU CAN'T PROSECUTE THE FORMER
PRESIDENT AND WHEN THEY LEAVE OFFICE YOU CAN'T PROSECUTE A
FORMER PRESIDENT, BECAUSE THEN THE PRESIDENT BECOMES ABOVE THE
LAW AND TO ME THAT IS DANGEROUS.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
STICK AROUND, BACK WITH MORE OF CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "MIDNIGHT IN WASHINGTON,"
CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) CONGRESSMAN, I FOUND OUT RIGHT
BEFORE THIS SHOW BEGAN THAT THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS SUING THE
JANUARY 6th SELECT COMMITTEE AND THE NATIONAL ARCHIVES TO
STOP THE INVESTIGATION OR TO PREVENT THE DIGGING UP OF
INFORMATION AS PART OF THEIR INVESTIGATION.
WHAT SUBSTANTIVELY DOES THAT MEAN, SUING THE JANUARY 6th
SELECT COMMITTEE?
>> WELL, WHAT IT MEANS IS THAT THE PRESIDENT IS DOING THE SAME
THING, THE FORMER PRESIDENT, THAT HE DID FOR FOUR YEARS, WITH
I IS TRY TO USE THE COURTS TO DELAY, TRY TO PREVENT THE
COUNTRY FROM LEARNING ABOUT HIS CORRUPTION.
HERE WE HAVE REQUESTED DOCUMENTS FROM THE ARCHIVES, A LOT OF
THOSE DOCUMENTS PERTAIN TO THINGS THAT WENT ON IN THE PRIOR
ADMINISTRATION, AND THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION, TO THEIR CREDIT,
IS SAYING WE'RE NOT ASSERTING EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE, WE THINK
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT WE'RE NOT GOING TO GET IN THE WAY TO HAVE
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENED.
>> Stephen: NORMALLY DOES A SUBSEQUENT ADMINISTRATION
SUPPORT THE IDEA OF EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE TO PROTECT THEIR OWN
PRIVILEGE?
>> THEY DO, THEY DO, BUT I THINK PRESIDENT BIDEN RECOGNIZES THAT
WE HAD A BLOODY ATTACK ON OUR CAPITOL.
THIS ISN'T BUSINESS AS USUAL.
AND THE INTEREST OF THE PUBLIC IN FINDING OUT JUST WHAT
HAPPENED AND PREVENTING IT FROM HAPPENING AGAIN OUTWEIGHS ANY
OTHER CONSIDERATION INCLUDING PRIVILEGE.
SO DONALD TRUMP WILL LOSE THIS LITIGATION, AND HE KNOWS HE'LL
LOSE THE LITIGATION.
THE POINT ISN'T WINNING, THE POINT IS DELAYING.
>> Stephen: PUTTING SOME SAND IN THE GEARS AND TRYING TO DELAY
THE INVESTIGATION.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO HAVE THIS INVESTIGATION DONE?
IF HE'S TRYING TO SLOW IT DOWN, HOW LONG DOES TRUTH TAKE?
WHEN WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO FIND OUT, DO YOU THINK?
WHAT'S YOUR TIME LINE?
>> WE WANT THIS INVESTIGATION DONE AS SOON AS TO BE BUT NO
LATER THAN NEXT YEAR.
SO WE'RE AIMING TO GET ALL THE INFORMATION WE CAN, WE WANT TO
WRITE THE DEFINITIVE 9/11 COMMISSION LIKE REPORT AND A
WHOLE SERIES OF RECOMMENDATIONS TO KEEP THE COUNTRY SAFE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE
ANOTHER BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK
CONGRESSMAN SCHIFF ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCE ON JANUARY 6th.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "MIDNIGHT IN WASHINGTON,"
CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF.
IT BEGINS JANUARY 6th.
WHAT WAS YOUR EXPERIENCE OF THAT DAY?
>> I WAS ON THE HOUSE FLOOR FOR THE ENTIRE ATTEMPTED
INSURRECTION, AND I WASN'T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT
WAS GOING ON OUTSIDE THE BUILDING.
I WAS ASKED TO BE ONE OF THE MANAGERS OF THE EFFORT TO STOP
THE REPUBLICANS FROM OVERTURNING THE ELECTION AND THE FIRST THING
I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG I LOOKED UP AND THE SPEAKER WAS NO
LONGER IN HER CHAIR.
>> Stephen: NEVER A GOOD SIGN.
NO, ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE CHAIR.
>> Stephen: WAS THERE A WILE E. COYOTE CLOUD OF DUST?
( LAUGHTER ) >> NO, BUT THAT CAME SOON AFTER
BECAUSE THE CAPITOL POLICE CAME BACK ON THE FLOOR, GRABBED OUR
NUMBER TWO, STANLEY HOYER, AND WHISKED HIM OFF THE FLOOR COO
FAST, I REMEMBER THINKING I'VE NEVER SEEN STANLEY MOVE THAT
FAST.
( LAUGHTER ) THEN THEY CAME BACK ON THE
FLOOR, TOLD US THERE WERE RIOTERS IN THE KILLING, TOLD US
TO GET OUT, GAS MASKS, TOLD US WE MIGHT NEED TO GET DOWN ON THE
GROUND.
BEFORE LONG, I COULD HEAR THUDDING AGAINST THE DOORS AND
BREAK GLASS AS THIS MOB WAS TRYING TO GET INTO THE CHAMBER,
AND A COUPLE OF REPUBLICANS CAME UP TO ME AND SAID YOU CAN'T LET
THEM SEE YOU.
I KNOW THESE PEOPLE, I CAN TALK TO THESE PEOPLE, YOU'RE IN A
WHOLE DIFFERENT SITUATION, YOU CAN'T LET THEM SEE YOU.
AT FIRST, I WAS ODDLY TOUCHED BY THEIR CONCERN FOR ME, AND THEN
THAT SOON GAVE WAY TO THE SENSE THAT, IF THEY HADN'T BEEN LYING
ABOUT THE ELECTION, I WOULDN'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT MY SECURITY,
NONE OF US WOULD.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU SAY IN THE BOOK, IT INFURIATED ME THAT
MANY REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS CONTINUED TO PUSH THE LIE
BECAUSE, UNLIKE THE INSURRECTIONISTS, THEY HAD TO
KNOW IT WAS A LIE, IN THAT WAY THEY WERE AS CULPABLE AS ANYONE
FOR THE TRAGIC EVENTS OF JANUARY 6th.
THE METAPHOR I'VE USED IN THIS REGARD IS IT SEEMS LIKE THE
JUSTICE DEPARTMENT PRESENTLY IS GOING AFTER STREET-LEVEL
ADDICTS, AND WHAT THEY WERE ADDICTED TO WAS THE LIE BEING
FED TO THEM.
BUT THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT ISN'T GOING AFTER THE DRUG PUSHERS,
THE KINGPINS, THE PEOPLE IN THE GOVERNMENT.
( APPLAUSE ) THE PEOPLE WHO KNEW BETTER BUT
WERE PROFITING OFF OF THE ITCH THAT THEY KNEW A CERTAIN MEMBER
OF THE PUBLIC WANTED SCRATCHED.
>> YEAH.
I THINK IT'S A VERY GOOD, ALL TOO GOOD ANALOGY, AND IT'S WHY,
IN THE DAYS AFTER THE INSURRECTION -- AND THIS IS NOT
UNCOMMON, I THINK, WHEN PEOPLE GO THROUGH COMMISSION
TRAUMATIC -- THE TRAUMA INCREASES OVER TIME.
S I WATCHED MORE AND MORE THE FOOTAGE OF THE INSURRECTIONISTS
BEATING POLICE OFFICERS, BEAR SPRAYING THEM AND GOUGING THEIR
EYES, I REMEMBER THINKING THESE PEOPLE REALLY BELIEVE THAT LIE,
BUT INSIDE THE CHAMBER THE INSURRECTIONISTS IN SUITS AND
TIES, THEY UNDERSTOOD IT WAS A LIE, AND THAT, TO ME, WAS JUST
UNFORGIVABLE.
IF WE CANNOT TRUST THAT OUR ELECTIONS CAN BE USED TO
LEGITIMATELY DECIDE DISPUTES OR WHO SHOULD GOVERN, THEN IT
LEAVES IT OPEN TO VIOLENCE, AND THEY CONTINUE TO PUT THAT LIE.
JUST A WEEK AGO, STEVE SCALISE, ONE OF THE TOP REPUBLICANS IN
THE HOUSE, WAS ASKED REPEATEDLY ON FOX, CAN YOU SAY -- CAN YOU
JUST SAY THE ELECTION WASN'T STOLEN, AND HE COULDN'T BRING
HIMSELF TO DO IT.
AND ONE OF THE REASONS I WROTE THIS BOOK IS I SAW THESE
COLLEAGUES OF MINE CHANGE IN FOUR YEARS, I SAW THEM SLOWLY
SURRENDER TO THE IMMORALITY OF THIS PRESIDENT, AND I WANTED TO
EXPLAIN HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN, HOW DO PEOPLE WHO ONCE BELIEVED
IN AN IDEOLOGY, WHO ONCE BELIEVED IN MORALITY COME TO SO
EASILY CAPITULATE TO SOMEONE WITH SUCH APPARENT FLAWS
BECAUSE, AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT'S NOT A PROBLEM IN OUR CONN'S
CONSTITUTION IS DRAFTED, IT'S BRILLIANT, BUT IF PEOPLE DON'T
UPHOLD THEIR OATH AND GIVE CONTENT TO THE PROVISIONS AND
LIVE UP TO THE SPIRIT IN WHICH IT WAS WRITTEN, NONE OF IT
WORKS.
>> Stephen: ONE OF THE THINGS THAT BREAKS MY HEART IN
PREPARING FOR THE INTERVIEW OF WHAT HAPPENED JANUARY 6th,
WHAT MORE HEARTBREAKING AND HARROWING IS HOW THAT TERRIBLE
DAY THAT WAS RECOGNIZED AS A TERRIBLE DAY AT THE TIME EVEN BY
THE PEOPLE WHO HAD BEEN PROMULGATING THE LIE IS NOW
BEING REFRAMED AS A F PROTEST, THAT THOSE PEOPLE WHO WERE
ARRESTED AND BEING PROSECUTED FOR THEIR ACTIONS ARE SOMEHOW
BEING PERSECUTED FOR THEIR EXERCISE OF THEIR FIRST
AMENDMENT RIGHTS, THAT WE'RE BEING GAS LIT INTO BELIEVING IN
A SENSE THAT DAY DIDN'T HAPPEN, AND THE REASON WHY THIS PREAKS
MY HEART IN A UNIQUE WAY IS WHY IT'S THE SECOND MOST HORRIFIC
DAY OF MY LIFE NEXT TO 9/11, AT LEAST ON 9/11 THERE WAS NO ONE
AFTERWARDS SAYING IT WASN'T REALLY A TRAGEDY, IT WAS
ACTUALLY JUST A PROTEST, AND THERE ARE PEOPLE IN CONGRESS WHO
ARE DOING THAT NOW.
( APPLAUSE ) >> YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I REMEMBER VIVIDLY WALKING THROUGH THE TUNNELS UNDER THE
CAPITOL RIGHT AFTER ASHLEY BATTLE WAS SHOT AND THINKING TO
MYSELF -- BECAUSE I WAS IN CONGRESS ON FLIFN AND I REMEMBER
HOW THAT ATTACK BROUGHT THE COUNTRY TOGETHER BECAUSE IT WAS
ABATTACK FROM OUTSIDE THE COUNTRY, AND I REMEMBER WALKING
THROUGH THE TUNNELS ON JANUARY 6th THINKING THIS IS
NOT GOING TO HAVE THE SAME IMPACT ON THE COUNTRY BECAUSE
THIS ATTACK, UNLIKE THAT ATTACK, CAME FROM WITHIN, AND THIS
ATTACK WAS INSPIRED BY PEOPLE WORKING IN THE BUILDING AND,
SURE ENOUGH, IT'S EXACTLY AS YOU SAY, THERE WAS A MOMENT AFTER
THE INSURRECTION WHEN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY LEADERSHIP
THOUGHT ABOUT CASTING ASIDE THAT AWFUL FORMER PRESIDENT, SEEING
THE DESTRUCTION THAT HE HAD WROUGHT, THEY THOUGHT ABOUT
CASTING HIM ASIDE, AND THAT FLICKERING OF CONSCIENCE, IN THE
CASE OF KEVIN McCARTHY, LASTED ABOUT 30 SECONDS.
WITH MITCH McCONNELL, YOU COULD SEE HIM STRUGGLE WITH
THIS, BUT ULTIMATELY CONCLUDE THAT IF HE TRIED TO THROW
TEMPERATURE OVERBOARD, HE WOULD BE THROWN OVERBOARD.
AND MY FEELING IS THEN BE THROWN OVERBOARD.
( APPLAUSE ) I DON'T SEE THE POINT -- I DON'T
SEE THE POINT OF SERVING IN CONGRESS IF AT A TIME WHEN THE
COUNTRY DESPERATELY NEEDS YOU, YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO DO YOUR
JOB.
>> Stephen: CONGRESSMAN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
( APPLAUSE ) GO FIND THE TRUTH, PLEASE.
>> I'M ON IT.
>> Stephen: THE BOOK "MIDNIGHT IN WASHINGTON" IS AVAILABLE NOW.
CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY KACEY MUSGRAVES.
>> Stephen: PERFORMING "BREADWINNER" FROM HER ALBUM,
"STAR-CROSSED," KACY MUSGRAVES!
♪ HERE'S WHAT HE'LL DO, HE'LL PLAY IT COOL
♪ WHEN HE HANGS OUT WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU
♪ SAY HE AIN'T PRESSED BY ALL YOUR SUCCESS
♪ TELL YOU HE'S DIFFERENT THAN ALL OF THE REST
♪ YOU'RE GONNA GIVE IT ALL AND GIVE IT ALL BUT YOU WON'T
♪ GET IT BACK I'M TELLIN' YOU, IT'S GONNA HURT
♪ STAY AWAY FROM A BOY LIKE THAT HE WANTS A BREADWINNER
♪ HE WANTS YOUR DINNER UNTIL HE AIN'T HUNGRY ANYMORE
♪ HE WANTS YOUR SHIMMER TO MAKE HIM FEEL BIGGER
♪ UNTIL HE STARTS FEELING INSECURE I WISH SOMEBODY
♪ WOULD'VE TOLD ME THE TRUTH SEE, HE'S NEVER GONNA KNOW
♪ WHAT TO DO WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU
♪ WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU I SEE THE GAMES A MILE AWAY
♪ THEY ONLY END WHEN ANOTHER HEART BREAKS
♪ BUT ALL OF HIS WOUNDS AIN'T AN EXCUSE FOR YOU
♪ TO PUT UP WITH HOW HE TREATS YOU YOU'RE GONNA GIVE IT ALL
♪ AND GIVE IT ALL BUT YOU WON'T GET IT BACK
♪ I'M TELLIN' YOU, IT'S GONNA HURT
♪ STAY AWAY FROM A BOY LIKE THAT HE WANTS A BREADWINNER
♪ HE WANTS YOUR DINNER UNTIL HE AIN'T HUNGRY ANYMORE
♪ HE WANTS YOUR SHIMMER TO MAKE HIM FEEL BIGGER
♪ UNTIL HE STARTS FEELING INSECURE I WISH SOMEBODY
♪ WOULD'VE TOLD ME THE TRUTH SEE,
♪ HE'S NEVER GONNA KNOW WHAT TO DO
♪ WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU
♪ I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING I REALLY TRIED
♪ I PUT IN THE TIME BUT THE FAULT ISN'T MINE
♪ THAT HE WANTS A BREADWINNER HE WANTS YOUR DINNER
♪ UNTIL HE AIN'T HUNGRY ANYMORE (ANYMORE)
♪ HE WANTS A BREADWINNER HE WANTS YOUR DINNER
♪ UNTIL HE AIN'T HUNGRY ANYMORE (ANYMORE)
♪ HE WANTS YOUR SHIMMER TO MAKE HIM FEEL BIGGER
♪ UNTIL HE STARTS FEELING INSECURE I WISH SOMEBODY
♪ WOULD'VE TOLD ME THE TRUTH SEE, HE'S NEVER GONNA KNOW WHAT
♪ TO DO WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU
♪ WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU AND ME HE LIKES WHAT HE SEES
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: KACEY MUSGRAVES
EVERYBODY!
THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪
>> Stephen: ON THURSDAY THE
COMMITTEE ANNOUNCED IT WAS REFERRING STEVE BANNON FOR
CRIMINAL CONTEMPT OF CONGRESS.
YES!
OH!
SO GLAD YOU SHOOT ME FROM THE WAIST UP.