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<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT,
COLBERT.

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>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT,
COLBERT.
FIRST LIVE AUDIENCE IN 15

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COLBERT.
FIRST LIVE AUDIENCE IN 15
MONTHS -- LET'S DO IT!

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FIRST LIVE AUDIENCE IN 15
MONTHS -- LET'S DO IT!
>> AREN'T YOU FORGETTING

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MONTHS -- LET'S DO IT!
>> AREN'T YOU FORGETTING
SOMETHING?

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>> AREN'T YOU FORGETTING
SOMETHING?
>> Stephen: WAIT, WHO SAID

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SOMETHING?
>> Stephen: WAIT, WHO SAID
THAT?

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>> Stephen: WAIT, WHO SAID
THAT?
>> I DID.

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THAT?
>> I DID.
REMEMBER ME?

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>> I DID.
REMEMBER ME?
>> Stephen: OH, RIGHT!

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REMEMBER ME?
>> Stephen: OH, RIGHT!
IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE

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>> Stephen: OH, RIGHT!
IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE
WORN A SUIT, I FORGOT, YOU HAVE

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IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE
WORN A SUIT, I FORGOT, YOU HAVE
TO WEAR PANTS!

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WORN A SUIT, I FORGOT, YOU HAVE
TO WEAR PANTS!
>> I'M ALL PRESSED AND READY TO

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TO WEAR PANTS!
>> I'M ALL PRESSED AND READY TO
GO!

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>> I'M ALL PRESSED AND READY TO
GO!
>> Stephen: GOSH, PANTSY, I

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GO!
>> Stephen: GOSH, PANTSY, I
HAVEN'T WORN

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>> Stephen: GOSH, PANTSY, I
HAVEN'T WORN
PROFESSIONAL-STRENGTH TROUSERS

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HAVEN'T WORN
PROFESSIONAL-STRENGTH TROUSERS
IN OVER A YEAR.

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PROFESSIONAL-STRENGTH TROUSERS
IN OVER A YEAR.
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT.

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IN OVER A YEAR.
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT.
>> DON'T WORRY, STEVE, I'LL HELP

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I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT.
>> DON'T WORRY, STEVE, I'LL HELP
YOU.

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>> DON'T WORRY, STEVE, I'LL HELP
YOU.
WE'LL GET THROUGH IT --

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YOU.
WE'LL GET THROUGH IT --
TOGETHER.

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WE'LL GET THROUGH IT --
TOGETHER.
>> Stephen: TOGETHER?

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TOGETHER.
>> Stephen: TOGETHER?
♪♪♪

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>> Stephen: COME HERE, BUDDY!
PANTSY, IT'S YOU AND ME FOREVER!
AH!

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PANTSY, IT'S YOU AND ME FOREVER!
AH!
HERE WE GO!

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AH!
HERE WE GO!
ONE MORE TIME!

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HERE WE GO!
ONE MORE TIME!
WE'RE DOIN' IT!

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ONE MORE TIME!
WE'RE DOIN' IT!
CLOSE, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!

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WE'RE DOIN' IT!
CLOSE, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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CLOSE, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!

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>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
WE'RE BACK!

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SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
WE'RE BACK!
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES JON JOHN

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WE'RE BACK!
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES JON JOHN
STEWART AND MUSICAL GUEST JON

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PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES JON JOHN
STEWART AND MUSICAL GUEST JON
BATISTE, FEATURING DANA GARVEY,

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STEWART AND MUSICAL GUEST JON
BATISTE, FEATURING DANA GARVEY,
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY Y

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BATISTE, FEATURING DANA GARVEY,
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY Y
HUMAN."

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FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY Y
HUMAN."
LIVE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN

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HUMAN."
LIVE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN
THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S

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LIVE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN
THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!

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THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪♪♪

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY!

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♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY!
WHOO!

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>> Stephen: HEY!
WHOO!
COME ON, MAN!

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WHOO!
COME ON, MAN!
( CHEERING )

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COME ON, MAN!
( CHEERING )
( AUDIENCE CHANTING STEPHEN )

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( CHEERING )
( AUDIENCE CHANTING STEPHEN )
>> Stephen: HEY!

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( AUDIENCE CHANTING STEPHEN )
>> Stephen: HEY!
HOW ARE YA!

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>> Stephen: HEY!
HOW ARE YA!
( CHANTING )

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HOW ARE YA!
( CHANTING )
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY!

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( CHANTING )
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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THANK YOU, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
WELCOME!

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THANK YOU SO MUCH!
WELCOME!
PLEASE!

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WELCOME!
PLEASE!
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY!

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PLEASE!
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU SO MUCH UP THERE!

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PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU SO MUCH UP THERE!
HI AND AWAY!

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THANK YOU SO MUCH UP THERE!
HI AND AWAY!
EVERYBODY DOWN HERE, PLEASE!

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HI AND AWAY!
EVERYBODY DOWN HERE, PLEASE!
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.

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EVERYBODY DOWN HERE, PLEASE!
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

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PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TO "THE LATE SHOW."

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WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT.

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TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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I'M YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF )

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF )
>> Stephen: SO HOW YOU BEEN?

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( PIANO RIFF )
>> Stephen: SO HOW YOU BEEN?
( LAUGHTER )

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>> Stephen: SO HOW YOU BEEN?
( LAUGHTER )
IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK.

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( LAUGHTER )
IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK.
WE NEVER -- WE NEVER REALLY

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IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK.
WE NEVER -- WE NEVER REALLY
LEFT, BUT WE CERTAINLY WEREN'T

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WE NEVER -- WE NEVER REALLY
LEFT, BUT WE CERTAINLY WEREN'T
HERE.

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LEFT, BUT WE CERTAINLY WEREN'T
HERE.
THIS IS A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT

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HERE.
THIS IS A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT
ENERGY THAN THE CONVERTED

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THIS IS A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT
ENERGY THAN THE CONVERTED
STORAGE ROOM EIGHT FLOORS ABOVE

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ENERGY THAN THE CONVERTED
STORAGE ROOM EIGHT FLOORS ABOVE
US.

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STORAGE ROOM EIGHT FLOORS ABOVE
US.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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US.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AS BEAUTIFUL AS THAT WAS, AS

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AS BEAUTIFUL AS THAT WAS, AS
LOVELY AS THAT WAS.

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AS BEAUTIFUL AS THAT WAS, AS
LOVELY AS THAT WAS.
( APPLAUSE )

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LOVELY AS THAT WAS.
( APPLAUSE )
I HAVE NOT BEEN ON THIS STAGE IN

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( APPLAUSE )
I HAVE NOT BEEN ON THIS STAGE IN
FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE FOR 460

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I HAVE NOT BEEN ON THIS STAGE IN
FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE FOR 460
DAYS.

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FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE FOR 460
DAYS.
( AUDIENCE REACTS )

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DAYS.
( AUDIENCE REACTS )
I DON'T KNOW IF I EVEN REMEMBER

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( AUDIENCE REACTS )
I DON'T KNOW IF I EVEN REMEMBER
HOW TO PANDER TO THE MOST

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I DON'T KNOW IF I EVEN REMEMBER
HOW TO PANDER TO THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL CROWD IN THE WORLD.

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HOW TO PANDER TO THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL CROWD IN THE WORLD.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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BEAUTIFUL CROWD IN THE WORLD.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HEY!

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HEY!
LOOK AT THAT MAN RIGHT THERE!

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HEY!
LOOK AT THAT MAN RIGHT THERE!
LOOK AT THAT MAN RIGHT THERE!

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LOOK AT THAT MAN RIGHT THERE!
LOOK AT THAT MAN RIGHT THERE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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LOOK AT THAT MAN RIGHT THERE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT FEELS LIKE THE FIRST DAY BACK

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT FEELS LIKE THE FIRST DAY BACK
AT SCHOOL.

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IT FEELS LIKE THE FIRST DAY BACK
AT SCHOOL.
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S

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AT SCHOOL.
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S
RIGHT.

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>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S
RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I'M EXCITED, I'M A

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RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I'M EXCITED, I'M A
LITTLE NERVOUS.

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>> Stephen: I'M EXCITED, I'M A
LITTLE NERVOUS.
I'VE GOT A NEW HAIRCUT AND NEW

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LITTLE NERVOUS.
I'VE GOT A NEW HAIRCUT AND NEW
CLOTHES, CBS SENT ME A

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I'VE GOT A NEW HAIRCUT AND NEW
CLOTHES, CBS SENT ME A
PARAMOUNT+ TRAPPER KEEPER.

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CLOTHES, CBS SENT ME A
PARAMOUNT+ TRAPPER KEEPER.
IT'S PRETTY SWEET.

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PARAMOUNT+ TRAPPER KEEPER.
IT'S PRETTY SWEET.
THANK YOU, CITIZEN.

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IT'S PRETTY SWEET.
THANK YOU, CITIZEN.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME FOR YOU

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THANK YOU, CITIZEN.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME FOR YOU
FOLKS TOO.

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IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME FOR YOU
FOLKS TOO.
THAT'S WHY WE'VE REPLACED ALL OF

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FOLKS TOO.
THAT'S WHY WE'VE REPLACED ALL OF
OUR APPLAUSE SIGNS WITH

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THAT'S WHY WE'VE REPLACED ALL OF
OUR APPLAUSE SIGNS WITH
REMEMBER HOW TO APPLAUD SIGNS.

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OUR APPLAUSE SIGNS WITH
REMEMBER HOW TO APPLAUD SIGNS.
I'M PROUD TO SAY, WE'RE THE

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REMEMBER HOW TO APPLAUD SIGNS.
I'M PROUD TO SAY, WE'RE THE
FIRST SHOW BACK UP ON BROADWAY,

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I'M PROUD TO SAY, WE'RE THE
FIRST SHOW BACK UP ON BROADWAY,
SUCK IT, "LION KING."

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FIRST SHOW BACK UP ON BROADWAY,
SUCK IT, "LION KING."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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SUCK IT, "LION KING."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THAT'S RIGHT!

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THAT'S RIGHT!
I'M SORRY --

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THAT'S RIGHT!
I'M SORRY --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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I'M SORRY --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HAKUNA MA SUCK IT.

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HAKUNA MA SUCK IT.
( LAUGHTER )

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HAKUNA MA SUCK IT.
( LAUGHTER )
AS SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN WORKING IN

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( LAUGHTER )
AS SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN WORKING IN
THE CITY FOR A YEAR NOW, IT'S

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AS SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN WORKING IN
THE CITY FOR A YEAR NOW, IT'S
WONDERFUL TO SEE NEW YORK CITY

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THE CITY FOR A YEAR NOW, IT'S
WONDERFUL TO SEE NEW YORK CITY
COMING BACK TO LIFE.

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WONDERFUL TO SEE NEW YORK CITY
COMING BACK TO LIFE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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COMING BACK TO LIFE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YOU GUYS KNOW.

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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YOU GUYS KNOW.
YOU FEEL IT.

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YOU GUYS KNOW.
YOU FEEL IT.
YOU FEEL IT EVERYWH EVERYWHERE .

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YOU FEEL IT.
YOU FEEL IT EVERYWH EVERYWHERE .
JUST TODAY, I SAW TWO TIMES

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YOU FEEL IT EVERYWH EVERYWHERE .
JUST TODAY, I SAW TWO TIMES
SQUARE ELMOS BREEDING.

130
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JUST TODAY, I SAW TWO TIMES
SQUARE ELMOS BREEDING.
LIFE FINDS A WAY.

131
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SQUARE ELMOS BREEDING.
LIFE FINDS A WAY.
OF COURSE, I DIDN'T DO THE LAST

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LIFE FINDS A WAY.
OF COURSE, I DIDN'T DO THE LAST
15 MONTHS ALONE.

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OF COURSE, I DIDN'T DO THE LAST
15 MONTHS ALONE.
IN THE DOME TONIGHT, YOU CAN SEE

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15 MONTHS ALONE.
IN THE DOME TONIGHT, YOU CAN SEE
THE ENTIRE LATE SHOW STAFF.

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IN THE DOME TONIGHT, YOU CAN SEE
THE ENTIRE LATE SHOW STAFF.
RIGHT THERE.

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THE ENTIRE LATE SHOW STAFF.
RIGHT THERE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

137
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RIGHT THERE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
GIVE IT UP.

138
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
GIVE IT UP.
YES!

139
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GIVE IT UP.
YES!
I ALSO WANT TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT

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YES!
I ALSO WANT TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT
TO THE MAN WHOSE OFFICE WORKED

141
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I ALSO WANT TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT
TO THE MAN WHOSE OFFICE WORKED
WITH US FOR MONTHS TO GET US

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TO THE MAN WHOSE OFFICE WORKED
WITH US FOR MONTHS TO GET US
BACK IN THE THEATER TONIGHT.

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WITH US FOR MONTHS TO GET US
BACK IN THE THEATER TONIGHT.
NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO.

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BACK IN THE THEATER TONIGHT.
NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO.
HE'S NOT HERE TONIGHT BUT HE

145
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NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO.
HE'S NOT HERE TONIGHT BUT HE
ASKED ME TO READ THIS NOTE -- IF

146
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HE'S NOT HERE TONIGHT BUT HE
ASKED ME TO READ THIS NOTE -- IF
YOU REMEMBER ME FOR ONE THING

147
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,421
ASKED ME TO READ THIS NOTE -- IF
YOU REMEMBER ME FOR ONE THING
THIS YEAR, LET IT BE BRINGING

148
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YOU REMEMBER ME FOR ONE THING
THIS YEAR, LET IT BE BRINGING
BACK "THE LATE SHOW"'S AUDIENCE,

149
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THIS YEAR, LET IT BE BRINGING
BACK "THE LATE SHOW"'S AUDIENCE,
THAT'S IT.

150
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:09,768
BACK "THE LATE SHOW"'S AUDIENCE,
THAT'S IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

151
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THAT'S IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NOW, FOR THOSE HAVE YOU WATCHING

152
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:12,003
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NOW, FOR THOSE HAVE YOU WATCHING
AT HOME.

153
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NOW, FOR THOSE HAVE YOU WATCHING
AT HOME.
EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT

154
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AT HOME.
EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT
IS FULLY VACCINATED.

155
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,743
EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT
IS FULLY VACCINATED.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

156
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IS FULLY VACCINATED.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THEY'RE IMMORTAL!

157
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THEY'RE IMMORTAL!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

158
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THEY'RE IMMORTAL!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BUT BEING A MEMBER OF MY

159
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BUT BEING A MEMBER OF MY
AUDIENCE ISN'T THE ONLY REASON

160
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,222
BUT BEING A MEMBER OF MY
AUDIENCE ISN'T THE ONLY REASON
TO GET YOUR SHOT,

161
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,156
AUDIENCE ISN'T THE ONLY REASON
TO GET YOUR SHOT,
IT'S JUST THE BEST REASON.

162
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:31,723
TO GET YOUR SHOT,
IT'S JUST THE BEST REASON.
I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON ALL THE

163
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,892
IT'S JUST THE BEST REASON.
I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON ALL THE
LATEST DEVELOPMENTS IN TONIGHT'S

164
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:34,226
I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON ALL THE
LATEST DEVELOPMENTS IN TONIGHT'S
INSTALLMENT OF

165
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:37,396
LATEST DEVELOPMENTS IN TONIGHT'S
INSTALLMENT OF
THE VAX-SCENE L3

166
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:42,234
INSTALLMENT OF
THE VAX-SCENE L3
(TO THE TUNE OF "TEQUILA")

167
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:46,204
THE VAX-SCENE L3
(TO THE TUNE OF "TEQUILA")
♪♪♪

168
00:06:46,206 --> 00:07:02,387
(TO THE TUNE OF "TEQUILA")
♪♪♪
♪♪♪

169
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:22,541
♪♪♪
( CHEERING )
(TO THE TUNE OF "TEQUILA")

170
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:38,723
( CHEERING )
(TO THE TUNE OF "TEQUILA")
♪♪♪

171
00:07:46,666 --> 00:08:04,916
>> Stephen: THANK YOU!
>> STEPHEN: AND THEY SAID IT
COULDN'T GET LONGER.

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00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:05,517
>> STEPHEN: AND THEY SAID IT
COULDN'T GET LONGER.
IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN VACCINATED

173
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:06,218
COULDN'T GET LONGER.
IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN VACCINATED
YET, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

174
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,419
IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN VACCINATED
YET, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
THERE ARE GREAT INCENTIVES.

175
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:12,457
YET, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
THERE ARE GREAT INCENTIVES.
TOMORROW, TACO BELL IS GIVING

176
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:13,425
THERE ARE GREAT INCENTIVES.
TOMORROW, TACO BELL IS GIVING
VACCINATED CALIFORNIANS A

177
00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:16,261
TOMORROW, TACO BELL IS GIVING
VACCINATED CALIFORNIANS A
FREE SEASONED BEEF NACHO CHEESE

178
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,295
VACCINATED CALIFORNIANS A
FREE SEASONED BEEF NACHO CHEESE
DORITOS LOCOS TACO.

179
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,230
FREE SEASONED BEEF NACHO CHEESE
DORITOS LOCOS TACO.
IT'S PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO

180
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:19,431
DORITOS LOCOS TACO.
IT'S PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO
WANTS TO GET VACCINATED BUT

181
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:29,975
IT'S PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO
WANTS TO GET VACCINATED BUT
STILL DOESN'T VALUE HUMAN LIFE.

182
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,644
WANTS TO GET VACCINATED BUT
STILL DOESN'T VALUE HUMAN LIFE.
ISN'T IT A GOOD SIGN YOU DANCED

183
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:35,647
STILL DOESN'T VALUE HUMAN LIFE.
ISN'T IT A GOOD SIGN YOU DANCED
FOR FOUR MINUTES AND CAN'T

184
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:36,214
ISN'T IT A GOOD SIGN YOU DANCED
FOR FOUR MINUTES AND CAN'T
BREATHE?

185
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,950
FOR FOUR MINUTES AND CAN'T
BREATHE?
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE STEPPING

186
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:42,721
BREATHE?
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE STEPPING
OUT TO SEE OLD FRIENDS.

187
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:43,421
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE STEPPING
OUT TO SEE OLD FRIENDS.
OVER THE WEEKEND, PRESIDENT

188
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,055
OUT TO SEE OLD FRIENDS.
OVER THE WEEKEND, PRESIDENT
BIDEN WAS IN THE U.K. FOR THE

189
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:44,623
OVER THE WEEKEND, PRESIDENT
BIDEN WAS IN THE U.K. FOR THE
G-7 SUMMIT AND BRITISH PRIME

190
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,224
BIDEN WAS IN THE U.K. FOR THE
G-7 SUMMIT AND BRITISH PRIME
MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON WAS

191
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,927
G-7 SUMMIT AND BRITISH PRIME
MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON WAS
STOKED:

192
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:49,528
MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON WAS
STOKED:
>> IT'S WONDERFUL TO LISTEN TO

193
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,161
STOKED:
>> IT'S WONDERFUL TO LISTEN TO
THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION AND TO

194
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:50,428
>> IT'S WONDERFUL TO LISTEN TO
THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION AND TO
JOE BIDEN.

195
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:54,232
THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION AND TO
JOE BIDEN.
I'S FANTASTIC.

196
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:57,035
JOE BIDEN.
I'S FANTASTIC.
IT'S A BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

197
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:57,769
I'S FANTASTIC.
IT'S A BREATH OF FRESH AIR.
>> STEPHEN: YOU KNOW THE LAST

198
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:58,370
IT'S A BREATH OF FRESH AIR.
>> STEPHEN: YOU KNOW THE LAST
GUY WAS BAD WHEN A 78-YEAR-OLD

199
00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,004
>> STEPHEN: YOU KNOW THE LAST
GUY WAS BAD WHEN A 78-YEAR-OLD
MAN IS DESCRIBED AS A BREATH OF

200
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,406
GUY WAS BAD WHEN A 78-YEAR-OLD
MAN IS DESCRIBED AS A BREATH OF
FRESH AIR.

201
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,508
MAN IS DESCRIBED AS A BREATH OF
FRESH AIR.
(AS BORIS JOHNSON)

202
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,011
FRESH AIR.
(AS BORIS JOHNSON)
YOU KNOW, HE JUST -- HE JUST --

203
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,412
(AS BORIS JOHNSON)
YOU KNOW, HE JUST -- HE JUST --
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE

204
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:07,846
YOU KNOW, HE JUST -- HE JUST --
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT, SOMETHING

205
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,515
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT, SOMETHING
EXTRAORDINARY, SOMETHING ABOUT

206
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,516
PRESIDENT, SOMETHING
EXTRAORDINARY, SOMETHING ABOUT
HIM THAT

207
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,418
EXTRAORDINARY, SOMETHING ABOUT
HIM THAT
JUST RADIATES A BRACING CLOUD OF

208
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,019
HIM THAT
JUST RADIATES A BRACING CLOUD OF
GOLD BOND AND FIXODENT.

209
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:14,319
JUST RADIATES A BRACING CLOUD OF
GOLD BOND AND FIXODENT.
( LAUGHTER )

210
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:14,886
GOLD BOND AND FIXODENT.
( LAUGHTER )
WHILE HE WAS IN ENGLAND, THE

211
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,288
( LAUGHTER )
WHILE HE WAS IN ENGLAND, THE
PRESIDENT ALSO HUNG OUT WITH

212
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:18,223
WHILE HE WAS IN ENGLAND, THE
PRESIDENT ALSO HUNG OUT WITH
QUEEN ELIZABETH, SEEN HERE

213
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,424
PRESIDENT ALSO HUNG OUT WITH
QUEEN ELIZABETH, SEEN HERE
ENJOYING THAT OPRAH INTERVIEW.

214
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:26,231
QUEEN ELIZABETH, SEEN HERE
ENJOYING THAT OPRAH INTERVIEW.
( LAUGHTER )

215
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:26,932
ENJOYING THAT OPRAH INTERVIEW.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )

216
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,800
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
BIND -- SURE.

217
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:31,403
( APPLAUSE )
BIND -- SURE.
WHY NOT?

218
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,105
BIND -- SURE.
WHY NOT?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

219
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,473
WHY NOT?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SEVEN-MONTH-OLD REFERENCE,

220
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,775
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SEVEN-MONTH-OLD REFERENCE,
THAT'S FINE.

221
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,409
SEVEN-MONTH-OLD REFERENCE,
THAT'S FINE.
( LAUGHTER )

222
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:37,976
THAT'S FINE.
( LAUGHTER )
BIDEN AND THE QUEEN HAD MET

223
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:38,577
( LAUGHTER )
BIDEN AND THE QUEEN HAD MET
BEFORE, BUT IT WAS WAY BACK IN

224
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,477
BIDEN AND THE QUEEN HAD MET
BEFORE, BUT IT WAS WAY BACK IN
1982.

225
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:40,145
BEFORE, BUT IT WAS WAY BACK IN
1982.
THAT'S WHEN SHE WAS TOURING WITH

226
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,213
1982.
THAT'S WHEN SHE WAS TOURING WITH
HER SYNTHPOP BAND...

227
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,281
THAT'S WHEN SHE WAS TOURING WITH
HER SYNTHPOP BAND...
FLOCK OF REGALS.

228
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:43,582
HER SYNTHPOP BAND...
FLOCK OF REGALS.
( LAUGHTER )

229
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,182
FLOCK OF REGALS.
( LAUGHTER )
BIDEN HAD SOME KIND WORDS FOR

230
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,217
( LAUGHTER )
BIDEN HAD SOME KIND WORDS FOR
HER MAJESTY.

231
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,186
BIDEN HAD SOME KIND WORDS FOR
HER MAJESTY.
>> SHE WAS VERY GENEROUS.

232
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,957
HER MAJESTY.
>> SHE WAS VERY GENEROUS.
SHE WAS VERY -- I DON'T THINK

233
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:52,190
>> SHE WAS VERY GENEROUS.
SHE WAS VERY -- I DON'T THINK
SHE'D BE

234
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,225
SHE WAS VERY -- I DON'T THINK
SHE'D BE
INSULTED BUT SHE REMINDED ME OF

235
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:57,696
SHE'D BE
INSULTED BUT SHE REMINDED ME OF
MY MOTHER.

236
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,863
INSULTED BUT SHE REMINDED ME OF
MY MOTHER.
>> Stephen: OKAY, SURE.

237
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:02,667
MY MOTHER.
>> Stephen: OKAY, SURE.
THAT'S NICE, BUT, JOE, YOU'RE

238
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:02,834
>> Stephen: OKAY, SURE.
THAT'S NICE, BUT, JOE, YOU'RE
ONLY

239
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:03,301
THAT'S NICE, BUT, JOE, YOU'RE
ONLY
ONLY 17 YEARS APART.

240
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:06,237
ONLY
ONLY 17 YEARS APART.
YOU'RE MORE CONTEMPORARIES, LIKE

241
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:06,805
ONLY 17 YEARS APART.
YOU'RE MORE CONTEMPORARIES, LIKE
ME AND MY BUDDY JON BATISTE.

242
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:07,005
YOU'RE MORE CONTEMPORARIES, LIKE
ME AND MY BUDDY JON BATISTE.
RIGHT?

243
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:11,242
ME AND MY BUDDY JON BATISTE.
RIGHT?
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

244
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,143
RIGHT?
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
SOME CONTEMPORARIES IN THERE!

245
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:15,413
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
SOME CONTEMPORARIES IN THERE!
I LOVE IT!

246
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,414
SOME CONTEMPORARIES IN THERE!
I LOVE IT!
YES!

247
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:17,649
I LOVE IT!
YES!
THAT'S SO NICE.

248
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,452
YES!
THAT'S SO NICE.
MY GRANDPA USED TO SAY THAT.

249
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:24,889
THAT'S SO NICE.
MY GRANDPA USED TO SAY THAT.
>> Stephen: THANKS, JON!

250
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:25,457
MY GRANDPA USED TO SAY THAT.
>> Stephen: THANKS, JON!
IT WAS A BIG WEEKEND FOR THE

251
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,091
>> Stephen: THANKS, JON!
IT WAS A BIG WEEKEND FOR THE
QUEEN.

252
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:26,725
IT WAS A BIG WEEKEND FOR THE
QUEEN.
SHE ATTENDED A CHARITY LUNCHEON,

253
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:27,425
QUEEN.
SHE ATTENDED A CHARITY LUNCHEON,
AND THERE WAS CAKE

254
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:30,195
SHE ATTENDED A CHARITY LUNCHEON,
AND THERE WAS CAKE
>> I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS GOING

255
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,396
AND THERE WAS CAKE
>> I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS GOING
TO WORK.

256
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,497
>> I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS GOING
TO WORK.
>> THERE IS A KNIFE.

257
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:33,832
TO WORK.
>> THERE IS A KNIFE.
>> WHAT?

258
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:34,265
>> THERE IS A KNIFE.
>> WHAT?
>> THERE IS A KNIFE.

259
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:38,269
>> WHAT?
>> THERE IS A KNIFE.
>> I KNOW THERE IS.

260
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:42,207
>> THERE IS A KNIFE.
>> I KNOW THERE IS.
THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS MORE

261
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:46,211
>> I KNOW THERE IS.
THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS MORE
UNUSUAL.

262
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:49,414
THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS MORE
UNUSUAL.
>> Stephen: THAT IS A LADY WHO

263
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:53,151
UNUSUAL.
>> Stephen: THAT IS A LADY WHO
KNOWS HER BRAND.

264
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,755
>> Stephen: THAT IS A LADY WHO
KNOWS HER BRAND.
( AS THE QUEEN... )

265
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:57,589
KNOWS HER BRAND.
( AS THE QUEEN... )
SEEING AS I'M A 200 YEAR OLD

266
00:10:57,591 --> 00:10:58,223
( AS THE QUEEN... )
SEEING AS I'M A 200 YEAR OLD
PAIR OF CURTAINS, WHOSE FACE IS

267
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,357
SEEING AS I'M A 200 YEAR OLD
PAIR OF CURTAINS, WHOSE FACE IS
ON THE MONEY, AND WHOSE FAMILY

268
00:10:59,359 --> 00:10:59,958
PAIR OF CURTAINS, WHOSE FACE IS
ON THE MONEY, AND WHOSE FAMILY
IS MORE INBRED THAN A DISCOUNT

269
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:00,592
ON THE MONEY, AND WHOSE FAMILY
IS MORE INBRED THAN A DISCOUNT
GOLDEN RETRIEVER, I THINK WE'RE

270
00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:01,292
IS MORE INBRED THAN A DISCOUNT
GOLDEN RETRIEVER, I THINK WE'RE
QUITE PAST NORMAL AT THIS

271
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:01,559
GOLDEN RETRIEVER, I THINK WE'RE
QUITE PAST NORMAL AT THIS
JUNCTURE.

272
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:02,227
QUITE PAST NORMAL AT THIS
JUNCTURE.
NOW, WHO WANTS A PIECE OF COSTCO

273
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:06,231
JUNCTURE.
NOW, WHO WANTS A PIECE OF COSTCO
SHEET CAKE?

274
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,432
NOW, WHO WANTS A PIECE OF COSTCO
SHEET CAKE?
( LAUGHTER )

275
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:16,241
SHEET CAKE?
( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF )

276
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:16,841
( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF )
PRESIDENT BIDEN'S TRIP ABROAD

277
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:17,475
( PIANO RIFF )
PRESIDENT BIDEN'S TRIP ABROAD
WILL END WITH HIS MUCH

278
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,109
PRESIDENT BIDEN'S TRIP ABROAD
WILL END WITH HIS MUCH
ANTICIPATED SHOWDOWN ON

279
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:18,443
WILL END WITH HIS MUCH
ANTICIPATED SHOWDOWN ON
WEDNESDAY WITH

280
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:22,213
ANTICIPATED SHOWDOWN ON
WEDNESDAY WITH
RUSSIAN PRESIDENT AND COVER

281
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,916
WEDNESDAY WITH
RUSSIAN PRESIDENT AND COVER
MODEL, VLADIMIR PUTIN.

282
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:25,517
RUSSIAN PRESIDENT AND COVER
MODEL, VLADIMIR PUTIN.
THIS MEETING COULD BE AWKWARD

283
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:30,221
MODEL, VLADIMIR PUTIN.
THIS MEETING COULD BE AWKWARD
BECAUSE EARLIER THIS YEAR

284
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,692
THIS MEETING COULD BE AWKWARD
BECAUSE EARLIER THIS YEAR
BIDEN CALLED PUTIN A KILLER.

285
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:34,259
BECAUSE EARLIER THIS YEAR
BIDEN CALLED PUTIN A KILLER.
THIS WEEKEND PUTIN WAS ASKED

286
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:34,893
BIDEN CALLED PUTIN A KILLER.
THIS WEEKEND PUTIN WAS ASKED
ABOUT HIS HOMICIDAL TENDENCIES:

287
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,395
THIS WEEKEND PUTIN WAS ASKED
ABOUT HIS HOMICIDAL TENDENCIES:
>> MR PRESIDENT, ARE YOU A

288
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:43,401
ABOUT HIS HOMICIDAL TENDENCIES:
>> MR PRESIDENT, ARE YOU A
KILLER?

289
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,204
>> MR PRESIDENT, ARE YOU A
KILLER?
>> (TRANSLATED)

290
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,639
KILLER?
>> (TRANSLATED)
( LAUGHTER )

291
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:48,373
>> (TRANSLATED)
( LAUGHTER )
OVER MY TENURE I'VE GOTTEN USED

292
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,340
( LAUGHTER )
OVER MY TENURE I'VE GOTTEN USED
TO ATTACKS FROM ALL KINDS OF

293
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,075
OVER MY TENURE I'VE GOTTEN USED
TO ATTACKS FROM ALL KINDS OF
ANGLES AND FROM ALL KINDS OF

294
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:50,709
TO ATTACKS FROM ALL KINDS OF
ANGLES AND FROM ALL KINDS OF
AREAS UNDER ALL KINDS OF PRETEXT

295
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:51,543
ANGLES AND FROM ALL KINDS OF
AREAS UNDER ALL KINDS OF PRETEXT
AND REASONS AND OF DIFFERENT

296
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,212
AREAS UNDER ALL KINDS OF PRETEXT
AND REASONS AND OF DIFFERENT
CALIBER AND FIERCENESS, AND NONE

297
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,413
AND REASONS AND OF DIFFERENT
CALIBER AND FIERCENESS, AND NONE
OF IT SURPRISES ME.

298
00:11:55,415 --> 00:12:02,220
CALIBER AND FIERCENESS, AND NONE
OF IT SURPRISES ME.
>> STEPHEN: SO, THAT'S A YES?

299
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:07,325
OF IT SURPRISES ME.
>> STEPHEN: SO, THAT'S A YES?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

300
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:07,926
>> STEPHEN: SO, THAT'S A YES?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
PUTIN WAS ALSO ASKED ABOUT HOW

301
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:10,228
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
PUTIN WAS ALSO ASKED ABOUT HOW
BIDEN COMPARES TO THE LAST

302
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,262
PUTIN WAS ALSO ASKED ABOUT HOW
BIDEN COMPARES TO THE LAST
PRESIDENT:

303
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,530
BIDEN COMPARES TO THE LAST
PRESIDENT:
>> YOU ONCE DESCRIBED PRESIDENT

304
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,398
PRESIDENT:
>> YOU ONCE DESCRIBED PRESIDENT
TRUMP AS A BRIGHT PERSON,

305
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,733
>> YOU ONCE DESCRIBED PRESIDENT
TRUMP AS A BRIGHT PERSON,
TALENTED.

306
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:18,136
TRUMP AS A BRIGHT PERSON,
TALENTED.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE PRESIDENT

307
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:18,336
TALENTED.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE PRESIDENT
BIDEN?

308
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,070
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE PRESIDENT
BIDEN?
>> WELL, EVEN NOW, I BELIEVE

309
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:24,309
BIDEN?
>> WELL, EVEN NOW, I BELIEVE
THAT FORMER U.S. PRESIDENT PLUMP

310
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:25,944
>> WELL, EVEN NOW, I BELIEVE
THAT FORMER U.S. PRESIDENT PLUMP
MR. TRUMP IS AN EXTRAORDINARY

311
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:29,380
THAT FORMER U.S. PRESIDENT PLUMP
MR. TRUMP IS AN EXTRAORDINARY
INDIVIDUAL, TALENTED INDIVIDUAL,

312
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,048
MR. TRUMP IS AN EXTRAORDINARY
INDIVIDUAL, TALENTED INDIVIDUAL,
OTHERWISE, HE WOULD NOT HAVE

313
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:30,515
INDIVIDUAL, TALENTED INDIVIDUAL,
OTHERWISE, HE WOULD NOT HAVE
BECOME U.S. PRESIDENT.

314
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:31,416
OTHERWISE, HE WOULD NOT HAVE
BECOME U.S. PRESIDENT.
HE'S A COLORFUL INDIVIDUAL.

315
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,350
BECOME U.S. PRESIDENT.
HE'S A COLORFUL INDIVIDUAL.
>> STEPHEN: YES, AND SCIENTISTS

316
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,219
HE'S A COLORFUL INDIVIDUAL.
>> STEPHEN: YES, AND SCIENTISTS
ARE STILL TRYING TO DETERMINE

317
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:42,227
>> STEPHEN: YES, AND SCIENTISTS
ARE STILL TRYING TO DETERMINE
WHAT COLOR THAT IS.

318
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:45,764
ARE STILL TRYING TO DETERMINE
WHAT COLOR THAT IS.
HONEY-GLAZED HIMMLER?

319
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:46,231
WHAT COLOR THAT IS.
HONEY-GLAZED HIMMLER?
( LAUGHTER )

320
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:49,467
HONEY-GLAZED HIMMLER?
( LAUGHTER )
OH!

321
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,636
( LAUGHTER )
OH!
REALLY!

322
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:52,337
OH!
REALLY!
WOW!

323
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:52,670
REALLY!
WOW!
>> Jon: HEY!

324
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:53,638
WOW!
>> Jon: HEY!
>> Stephen: IT'S WONDERFUL TO

325
00:12:53,640 --> 00:13:00,378
>> Jon: HEY!
>> Stephen: IT'S WONDERFUL TO
BE WITH YOU AND BACK IN THE NEAD

326
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,446
>> Stephen: IT'S WONDERFUL TO
BE WITH YOU AND BACK IN THE NEAD
SULLIVAN THEATER.

327
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:14,225
BE WITH YOU AND BACK IN THE NEAD
SULLIVAN THEATER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

328
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,561
SULLIVAN THEATER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I'VE ALWAYS SAID --

329
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,328
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I'VE ALWAYS SAID --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

330
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:17,662
I'VE ALWAYS SAID --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF )

331
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:18,496
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF )
FOLKS, I HAVE ALWAYS SAID THERE

332
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:21,065
( PIANO RIFF )
FOLKS, I HAVE ALWAYS SAID THERE
IS NO GREATER AUDIENCE IN THE

333
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:24,135
FOLKS, I HAVE ALWAYS SAID THERE
IS NO GREATER AUDIENCE IN THE
WORLD THAN YOU PEOPLE.

334
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:28,373
IS NO GREATER AUDIENCE IN THE
WORLD THAN YOU PEOPLE.
WHEN I SAID THAT, I WAS WRONG.

335
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:28,673
WORLD THAN YOU PEOPLE.
WHEN I SAID THAT, I WAS WRONG.
( LAUGHTER )

336
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:29,707
WHEN I SAID THAT, I WAS WRONG.
( LAUGHTER )
SEE, FOR THE LAST 15 MONTHS, MY

337
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:30,275
( LAUGHTER )
SEE, FOR THE LAST 15 MONTHS, MY
ONLY AUDIENCE WAS TRULY THE

338
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:34,212
SEE, FOR THE LAST 15 MONTHS, MY
ONLY AUDIENCE WAS TRULY THE
GREATEST OF ALL TIME, MY WIFE.

339
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:39,651
ONLY AUDIENCE WAS TRULY THE
GREATEST OF ALL TIME, MY WIFE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

340
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,218
GREATEST OF ALL TIME, MY WIFE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE

341
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,187
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
GIVE A BIG LATE SHOW WELCOME TO

342
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:43,421
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
GIVE A BIG LATE SHOW WELCOME TO
EVIE COLBERT.

343
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:57,535
GIVE A BIG LATE SHOW WELCOME TO
EVIE COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

344
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:11,516
EVIE COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( AUDIENCE CHANTING EVIE )

345
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:16,020
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( AUDIENCE CHANTING EVIE )
DARLING -- DARLING, UM, THANK

346
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,455
( AUDIENCE CHANTING EVIE )
DARLING -- DARLING, UM, THANK
YOU -- THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

347
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:17,822
DARLING -- DARLING, UM, THANK
YOU -- THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> MY PLEASURE.

348
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:18,890
YOU -- THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> MY PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING

349
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,326
>> MY PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO THE

350
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:21,559
>> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO THE
PEOPLE?

351
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,161
YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO THE
PEOPLE?
>> OKAY, AUDIENCE, HE'S ALL

352
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:25,430
PEOPLE?
>> OKAY, AUDIENCE, HE'S ALL
YOURS NOW.

353
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,231
>> OKAY, AUDIENCE, HE'S ALL
YOURS NOW.
( LAUGHTER )

354
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,966
YOURS NOW.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )

355
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,667
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
AND DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH

356
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:33,071
( APPLAUSE )
AND DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH
BECAUSE HE REALLY NEEDS IT.

357
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:33,671
AND DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH
BECAUSE HE REALLY NEEDS IT.
>> STEPHEN: WE'VE GOT A GREAT

358
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:34,239
BECAUSE HE REALLY NEEDS IT.
>> STEPHEN: WE'VE GOT A GREAT
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

359
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:37,442
>> STEPHEN: WE'VE GOT A GREAT
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
YOU WANNA?

360
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,309
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
YOU WANNA?
>> SURE.

361
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:42,180
YOU WANNA?
>> SURE.
OUR GUESTS ARE AIR OWLED FRIEND

362
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,582
>> SURE.
OUR GUESTS ARE AIR OWLED FRIEND
JOHN STEWART --

363
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:45,083
OUR GUESTS ARE AIR OWLED FRIEND
JOHN STEWART --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

364
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,651
JOHN STEWART --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
-- AND MUSIC BY OUR NEW FRIEND

365
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:51,589
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
-- AND MUSIC BY OUR NEW FRIEND
JON BATISTE.

366
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:52,090
-- AND MUSIC BY OUR NEW FRIEND
JON BATISTE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

367
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:52,724
JON BATISTE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, STEPHEN GOES

368
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:53,324
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, STEPHEN GOES
ONE-ON-ONE WITH PRESIDENT JOE

369
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,225
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, STEPHEN GOES
ONE-ON-ONE WITH PRESIDENT JOE
BIDEN.

370
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:54,626
ONE-ON-ONE WITH PRESIDENT JOE
BIDEN.
STICK AROUND.

371
00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:58,196
BIDEN.
STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: STICK AROUND!

372
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:20,184
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪♪♪
♪

373
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:26,190
♪♪♪
♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪

374
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:30,762
♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪

375
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,799
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪

376
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,968
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.

377
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,770
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN"

378
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,872
>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN"
RIGHT THERE!

379
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:41,372
JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN"
RIGHT THERE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

380
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,774
RIGHT THERE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THAT'S THE MAN!

381
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:46,511
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THAT'S THE MAN!
♪♪♪

382
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:46,778
THAT'S THE MAN!
♪♪♪
JON...

383
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,379
♪♪♪
JON...
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

384
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,748
JON...
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I WANT TO SAY HEY TO EVERYBODY

385
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,950
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I WANT TO SAY HEY TO EVERYBODY
IN THE BAND!

386
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:57,989
I WANT TO SAY HEY TO EVERYBODY
IN THE BAND!
AN DIOWENS, BASS, TRUMPET, JOHN

387
00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:05,296
IN THE BAND!
AN DIOWENS, BASS, TRUMPET, JOHN
LAMPE, LOUIS.

388
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,631
AN DIOWENS, BASS, TRUMPET, JOHN
LAMPE, LOUIS.
MR. JON BATISTE.

389
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,398
LAMPE, LOUIS.
MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON BATISTE.

390
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,766
MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON BATISTE.
CAN'T WAITED TO SEE YOU.

391
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,336
HELLO, JON BATISTE.
CAN'T WAITED TO SEE YOU.
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU LATER, MY

392
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:11,569
CAN'T WAITED TO SEE YOU.
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU LATER, MY
FRIEND.

393
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,770
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU LATER, MY
FRIEND.
>> Jon: BEAUTIFUL TO BE HERE.

394
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,206
FRIEND.
>> Jon: BEAUTIFUL TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: I LOVE YOU.

395
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,443
>> Jon: BEAUTIFUL TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: I LOVE YOU.
>> Jon: LOVE YOU, TOO.

396
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,744
>> Stephen: I LOVE YOU.
>> Jon: LOVE YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: FOLKS, AS I

397
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,813
>> Jon: LOVE YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: FOLKS, AS I
MENTIONED IN THE MONOLOGUE

398
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,917
>> Stephen: FOLKS, AS I
MENTIONED IN THE MONOLOGUE
STANDING RIGHT OVER THERE, JOE

399
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:29,954
MENTIONED IN THE MONOLOGUE
STANDING RIGHT OVER THERE, JOE
BIDEN IS CURRENTLY ON HIS FIRST

400
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:30,788
STANDING RIGHT OVER THERE, JOE
BIDEN IS CURRENTLY ON HIS FIRST
OVERSEAS TRIP AS PRESIDENT.

401
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:31,656
BIDEN IS CURRENTLY ON HIS FIRST
OVERSEAS TRIP AS PRESIDENT.
WHICH IS GOOD NEWS FOR

402
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,423
OVERSEAS TRIP AS PRESIDENT.
WHICH IS GOOD NEWS FOR
DIPLOMACY, BAD NEWS FOR ME.

403
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,091
WHICH IS GOOD NEWS FOR
DIPLOMACY, BAD NEWS FOR ME.
BECAUSE I HAD HOPED TO HAVE HIM

404
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:33,725
DIPLOMACY, BAD NEWS FOR ME.
BECAUSE I HAD HOPED TO HAVE HIM
AS MY FIRST GUEST FOR OUR RETURN

405
00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:34,292
BECAUSE I HAD HOPED TO HAVE HIM
AS MY FIRST GUEST FOR OUR RETURN
TO THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.

406
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:34,859
AS MY FIRST GUEST FOR OUR RETURN
TO THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.
SORRY, YOU'RE STUCK WITH JON

407
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,694
TO THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.
SORRY, YOU'RE STUCK WITH JON
STEWART.

408
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:36,995
SORRY, YOU'RE STUCK WITH JON
STEWART.
( LAUGHTER )

409
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:37,695
STEWART.
( LAUGHTER )
BUT I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THAT JOE

410
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:38,796
( LAUGHTER )
BUT I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THAT JOE
BIDEN HAS MADE TIME TO BE WTH

411
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:39,998
BUT I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THAT JOE
BIDEN HAS MADE TIME TO BE WTH
US LIVE VIA SATELLITE.

412
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:40,598
BIDEN HAS MADE TIME TO BE WTH
US LIVE VIA SATELLITE.
JOINING ME NOW, FROM BRUSSELS,

413
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,734
US LIVE VIA SATELLITE.
JOINING ME NOW, FROM BRUSSELS,
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

414
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:46,771
JOINING ME NOW, FROM BRUSSELS,
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES.

415
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:50,775
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

416
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:55,613
STATES.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT --

417
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:55,980
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT --
MR. PRESIDENT --

418
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,016
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT --
MR. PRESIDENT --
>> OH, THERE YOU ARE.

419
00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:02,587
MR. PRESIDENT --
>> OH, THERE YOU ARE.
YEAH, YEAH, THERE YOU ARE.

420
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:02,820
>> OH, THERE YOU ARE.
YEAH, YEAH, THERE YOU ARE.
THANKS.

421
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:03,588
YEAH, YEAH, THERE YOU ARE.
THANKS.
THANKS.

422
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,423
THANKS.
THANKS.
YEAH, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

423
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:05,957
THANKS.
YEAH, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT,

424
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:06,924
YEAH, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT,
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

425
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,760
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT,
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THAK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

426
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:10,461
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THAK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE --

427
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,430
>> THAK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE --
BECAUSE HERE'S THE DEAL,

428
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,831
THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE --
BECAUSE HERE'S THE DEAL,
NOBODY'S BETTER THAN YOU, AND I

429
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,000
BECAUSE HERE'S THE DEAL,
NOBODY'S BETTER THAN YOU, AND I
KNOW WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT,

430
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:16,734
NOBODY'S BETTER THAN YOU, AND I
KNOW WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT,
NO JOKE!

431
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,403
KNOW WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT,
NO JOKE!
>> Stephen: I APPRECIATE THAT,

432
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:18,770
NO JOKE!
>> Stephen: I APPRECIATE THAT,
SIR.

433
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:21,873
>> Stephen: I APPRECIATE THAT,
SIR.
>> I APPRECIATE YOU, MERV.

434
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:22,173
SIR.
>> I APPRECIATE YOU, MERV.
( LAUGHTER )

435
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,307
>> I APPRECIATE YOU, MERV.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: SO, MR. PRESIDENT,

436
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,743
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: SO, MR. PRESIDENT,
THIS IS YOUR FIRST TRIP ABROAD

437
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:26,778
>> Stephen: SO, MR. PRESIDENT,
THIS IS YOUR FIRST TRIP ABROAD
SINCE TAKING OFFICE, HOW'S IT

438
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:27,979
THIS IS YOUR FIRST TRIP ABROAD
SINCE TAKING OFFICE, HOW'S IT
GOING SO FAR?

439
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:29,313
SINCE TAKING OFFICE, HOW'S IT
GOING SO FAR?
>> GOING GREAT.

440
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:32,884
GOING SO FAR?
>> GOING GREAT.
MET THE GUY WHO RUNS ENGLAND,

441
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:33,851
>> GOING GREAT.
MET THE GUY WHO RUNS ENGLAND,
BORIS CAR LOVE -- BORIS JOHNSON,

442
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:34,986
MET THE GUY WHO RUNS ENGLAND,
BORIS CAR LOVE -- BORIS JOHNSON,
EXCUSE ME.

443
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:39,957
BORIS CAR LOVE -- BORIS JOHNSON,
EXCUSE ME.
THEN I MET THE HIGH SCHOOL KID

444
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,659
EXCUSE ME.
THEN I MET THE HIGH SCHOOL KID
WHO RUNS FRANCE, MACARONI, HAD

445
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,495
THEN I MET THE HIGH SCHOOL KID
WHO RUNS FRANCE, MACARONI, HAD
TEA WITH THE PRESIDENT.

446
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,764
WHO RUNS FRANCE, MACARONI, HAD
TEA WITH THE PRESIDENT.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU ENJOYING

447
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,366
TEA WITH THE PRESIDENT.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU ENJOYING
YOURSELF IN BELGIUM?

448
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,234
>> Stephen: ARE YOU ENJOYING
YOURSELF IN BELGIUM?
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

449
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,969
YOURSELF IN BELGIUM?
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
LOOK AT THE CRAZY PAN CAKES.

450
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,305
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
LOOK AT THE CRAZY PAN CAKES.
BUMPS EVERYWHERE.

451
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:54,739
LOOK AT THE CRAZY PAN CAKES.
BUMPS EVERYWHERE.
THAT'S BONKERS.

452
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:55,173
BUMPS EVERYWHERE.
THAT'S BONKERS.
COME ON.

453
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,041
THAT'S BONKERS.
COME ON.
>> Stephen: THOSE ARE GREAT,

454
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,009
COME ON.
>> Stephen: THOSE ARE GREAT,
MR. PRESIDENT, BUT I'M ASKING

455
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:00,445
>> Stephen: THOSE ARE GREAT,
MR. PRESIDENT, BUT I'M ASKING
HAS IT BEEN HARD TO REESTABLISH

456
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,747
MR. PRESIDENT, BUT I'M ASKING
HAS IT BEEN HARD TO REESTABLISH
DIPLOMATIC TIES WITH OUR ALLIES

457
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,582
HAS IT BEEN HARD TO REESTABLISH
DIPLOMATIC TIES WITH OUR ALLIES
AFTER THE LAST PRESIDENT BURNED

458
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,917
DIPLOMATIC TIES WITH OUR ALLIES
AFTER THE LAST PRESIDENT BURNED
SOME BRIDGES.

459
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,052
AFTER THE LAST PRESIDENT BURNED
SOME BRIDGES.
>> OKAY, LOOK, LET'S BE REAL,

460
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,388
SOME BRIDGES.
>> OKAY, LOOK, LET'S BE REAL,
LET ME BE CLEAR, THE LAST GUY,

461
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:11,989
>> OKAY, LOOK, LET'S BE REAL,
LET ME BE CLEAR, THE LAST GUY,
TRUMP, WAS BANANAS!

462
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:14,792
LET ME BE CLEAR, THE LAST GUY,
TRUMP, WAS BANANAS!
BUT LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME,

463
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,762
TRUMP, WAS BANANAS!
BUT LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME,
EUROPE, I'M NICE AND EASY.

464
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:18,763
BUT LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME,
EUROPE, I'M NICE AND EASY.
I'M WHISPER CALM.

465
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,731
EUROPE, I'M NICE AND EASY.
I'M WHISPER CALM.
NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY SUDDEN

466
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:21,699
I'M WHISPER CALM.
NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY SUDDEN
MOVES.

467
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:22,200
NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY SUDDEN
MOVES.
LOOK AT MY HANDS.

468
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,135
MOVES.
LOOK AT MY HANDS.
MOVING SLOW, LOOK AT THAT.

469
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:31,909
LOOK AT MY HANDS.
MOVING SLOW, LOOK AT THAT.
NOT HURR HERKY JERKY.

470
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:34,011
MOVING SLOW, LOOK AT THAT.
NOT HURR HERKY JERKY.
JUST SLOW AND EASY.

471
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:35,346
NOT HURR HERKY JERKY.
JUST SLOW AND EASY.
WHERE ARE THEY?

472
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,514
JUST SLOW AND EASY.
WHERE ARE THEY?
WHAT'S GOING ON?

473
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:37,181
WHERE ARE THEY?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
SCARY.

474
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:38,783
WHAT'S GOING ON?
SCARY.
NOT SCARY.

475
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,017
SCARY.
NOT SCARY.
SCARY, NOT SCARY.

476
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:40,952
NOT SCARY.
SCARY, NOT SCARY.
COME ON!

477
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,353
SCARY, NOT SCARY.
COME ON!
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

478
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,655
COME ON!
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S COMFORTING,

479
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,456
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S COMFORTING,
SIR.

480
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,592
>> Stephen: THAT'S COMFORTING,
SIR.
>> YEAH, THANKS, MERV

481
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:47,892
SIR.
>> YEAH, THANKS, MERV
( LAUGHTER )

482
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,193
>> YEAH, THANKS, MERV
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT, ARE

483
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:49,961
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT, ARE
YOU AT ALL CONCERNED MEETING

484
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,996
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT, ARE
YOU AT ALL CONCERNED MEETING
WITH PUTIN ON WEDNESDAY GIVEN

485
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,765
YOU AT ALL CONCERNED MEETING
WITH PUTIN ON WEDNESDAY GIVEN
THAT YOU VERY PUBLICLY CALLED

486
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:55,900
WITH PUTIN ON WEDNESDAY GIVEN
THAT YOU VERY PUBLICLY CALLED
HIM A KILLER?

487
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,869
THAT YOU VERY PUBLICLY CALLED
HIM A KILLER?
>> COME ON, NOW, I ONCE CALLED A

488
00:18:57,871 --> 00:19:00,571
HIM A KILLER?
>> COME ON, NOW, I ONCE CALLED A
NICE LADY A DOG-FACED PONY

489
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:00,805
>> COME ON, NOW, I ONCE CALLED A
NICE LADY A DOG-FACED PONY
SOLDIER.

490
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:01,105
NICE LADY A DOG-FACED PONY
SOLDIER.
( LAUGHTER )

491
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:02,773
SOLDIER.
( LAUGHTER )
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL I'M

492
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,842
( LAUGHTER )
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL I'M
TALKING ABOUT, ESPECIALLY ME.

493
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:05,143
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL I'M
TALKING ABOUT, ESPECIALLY ME.
( LAUGHTER )

494
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:05,843
TALKING ABOUT, ESPECIALLY ME.
( LAUGHTER )
MAYBE I'M JOKING.

495
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:06,978
( LAUGHTER )
MAYBE I'M JOKING.
NO JOKE, NOW.

496
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,480
MAYBE I'M JOKING.
NO JOKE, NOW.
COME ON, NOW, I'M THE PRESIDENT,

497
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:09,647
NO JOKE, NOW.
COME ON, NOW, I'M THE PRESIDENT,
GUY.

498
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:10,748
COME ON, NOW, I'M THE PRESIDENT,
GUY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD TO

499
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:14,785
GUY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD TO
KNOW.

500
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,020
>> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD TO
KNOW.
NOW, LET'S --

501
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:16,821
KNOW.
NOW, LET'S --
( LAUGHTER )

502
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:17,221
NOW, LET'S --
( LAUGHTER )
>> SLOW AND EASY.

503
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:18,022
( LAUGHTER )
>> SLOW AND EASY.
COME ON, NOW.

504
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:21,993
>> SLOW AND EASY.
COME ON, NOW.
>> Stephen: VERY SOOTHING.

505
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,996
COME ON, NOW.
>> Stephen: VERY SOOTHING.
NOW, LET'S TALK VACCINES, SIR.

506
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:25,229
>> Stephen: VERY SOOTHING.
NOW, LET'S TALK VACCINES, SIR.
>> YEAH.

507
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:26,531
NOW, LET'S TALK VACCINES, SIR.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU JUST SAID THE

508
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,499
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU JUST SAID THE
UNITED STATES WILL DONATE

509
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,233
>> Stephen: YOU JUST SAID THE
UNITED STATES WILL DONATE
500 MILLION DOSES TO COUNTRIES

510
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,334
UNITED STATES WILL DONATE
500 MILLION DOSES TO COUNTRIES
IN NEED.

511
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,069
500 MILLION DOSES TO COUNTRIES
IN NEED.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE

512
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,371
IN NEED.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE
ROLLOUT IN THIS COUNTRY?

513
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,572
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE
ROLLOUT IN THIS COUNTRY?
>> LET'S GET REAL, NUMBER ONE,

514
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:35,072
ROLLOUT IN THIS COUNTRY?
>> LET'S GET REAL, NUMBER ONE,
THE ONE PART.

515
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,108
>> LET'S GET REAL, NUMBER ONE,
THE ONE PART.
NUMBER TWO, THE THING THE GUY

516
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:37,308
THE ONE PART.
NUMBER TWO, THE THING THE GUY
SAID.

517
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,342
NUMBER TWO, THE THING THE GUY
SAID.
NUMBER THREE, YOU KNOW THE

518
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,410
SAID.
NUMBER THREE, YOU KNOW THE
DRILL, COME ON, FOLKS.

519
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,378
NUMBER THREE, YOU KNOW THE
DRILL, COME ON, FOLKS.
>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE PLEASED

520
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,880
DRILL, COME ON, FOLKS.
>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE PLEASED
WITH OUR PROGRESS?

521
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:43,214
>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE PLEASED
WITH OUR PROGRESS?
>> ABSOLUTELY!

522
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,916
WITH OUR PROGRESS?
>> ABSOLUTELY!
YOU KNOW, COME ON, THESE

523
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:46,384
>> ABSOLUTELY!
YOU KNOW, COME ON, THESE
VACCINES ARE SAFE AND EFFECTIVE.

524
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,920
YOU KNOW, COME ON, THESE
VACCINES ARE SAFE AND EFFECTIVE.
WE'VE GOT THREE DIFFERENT

525
00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:50,087
VACCINES ARE SAFE AND EFFECTIVE.
WE'VE GOT THREE DIFFERENT
FLAVORS.

526
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:55,092
WE'VE GOT THREE DIFFERENT
FLAVORS.
THE MODERNA, THE P-FIZZER AND

527
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,861
FLAVORS.
THE MODERNA, THE P-FIZZER AND
THE J.J. ABRAMS, COME ON.

528
00:19:56,863 --> 00:20:00,765
THE MODERNA, THE P-FIZZER AND
THE J.J. ABRAMS, COME ON.
>> Stephen: THE MODERNA,

529
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,200
THE J.J. ABRAMS, COME ON.
>> Stephen: THE MODERNA,
PFIZER AND JOHNSON & JOHNSON?

530
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:02,767
>> Stephen: THE MODERNA,
PFIZER AND JOHNSON & JOHNSON?
>> YOU GOT IT.

531
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,001
PFIZER AND JOHNSON & JOHNSON?
>> YOU GOT IT.
THAT'S IT.

532
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,103
>> YOU GOT IT.
THAT'S IT.
COMEON NOW, LET'S GET REAL,

533
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:08,005
THAT'S IT.
COMEON NOW, LET'S GET REAL,
I'VE NEVER BEEN TOO GOOD WITH --

534
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,041
COMEON NOW, LET'S GET REAL,
I'VE NEVER BEEN TOO GOOD WITH --
YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM.

535
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,610
I'VE NEVER BEEN TOO GOOD WITH --
YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM.
>> Stephen: NAMES?

536
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,111
YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM.
>> Stephen: NAMES?
NO, THE BIG GUYS, ALL OF

537
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:14,312
>> Stephen: NAMES?
NO, THE BIG GUYS, ALL OF
THEM.

538
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,279
NO, THE BIG GUYS, ALL OF
THEM.
>> Stephen: WORDS?

539
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,081
THEM.
>> Stephen: WORDS?
THAT'S THE ONE!

540
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,216
>> Stephen: WORDS?
THAT'S THE ONE!
WORDS!

541
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:18,816
THAT'S THE ONE!
WORDS!
THEY'RE LIKE REPUBLICANS, THEY

542
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,785
WORDS!
THEY'RE LIKE REPUBLICANS, THEY
DON'T WANT TO WORK WITH ME BUT I

543
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:26,390
THEY'RE LIKE REPUBLICANS, THEY
DON'T WANT TO WORK WITH ME BUT I
KEEP TRYING ANYWAY.

544
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:26,891
DON'T WANT TO WORK WITH ME BUT I
KEEP TRYING ANYWAY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

545
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:27,558
KEEP TRYING ANYWAY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELL, SIR, I HAVE

546
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,827
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELL, SIR, I HAVE
TO SAY, THAT RESONATES.

547
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:31,596
>> Stephen: WELL, SIR, I HAVE
TO SAY, THAT RESONATES.
THAT SEEMS TO RESONATE WITH

548
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:31,829
TO SAY, THAT RESONATES.
THAT SEEMS TO RESONATE WITH
PEOPLE.

549
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,031
THAT SEEMS TO RESONATE WITH
PEOPLE.
I HAVE TO SAY I'M GRATEFUL THE

550
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,132
PEOPLE.
I HAVE TO SAY I'M GRATEFUL THE
ROLLOUT HAS BEEN SO EFFECTIVE I

551
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:38,769
I HAVE TO SAY I'M GRATEFUL THE
ROLLOUT HAS BEEN SO EFFECTIVE I
CAN NOW HAVE A LIVE AUDIENCE

552
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,037
ROLLOUT HAS BEEN SO EFFECTIVE I
CAN NOW HAVE A LIVE AUDIENCE
AGAIN.

553
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:43,407
CAN NOW HAVE A LIVE AUDIENCE
AGAIN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

554
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,610
AGAIN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> YEAH, GOOD STUFF!

555
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:46,277
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> YEAH, GOOD STUFF!
THAT'S RIGHT.

556
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,812
>> YEAH, GOOD STUFF!
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH, LOOK AT ALL THOSE

557
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:48,746
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH, LOOK AT ALL THOSE
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE GETTING

558
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,081
YEAH, LOOK AT ALL THOSE
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE GETTING
TOGETHER AGAIN TO LAUGH AT YOUR

559
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:53,084
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE GETTING
TOGETHER AGAIN TO LAUGH AT YOUR
BAND AND DANCE AT YOUR JOKES!

560
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:53,384
TOGETHER AGAIN TO LAUGH AT YOUR
BAND AND DANCE AT YOUR JOKES!
( LAUGHTER )

561
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,986
BAND AND DANCE AT YOUR JOKES!
( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LIKE -- IT'S

562
00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:57,054
( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LIKE -- IT'S
LIKE BEING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND

563
00:20:57,056 --> 00:21:01,692
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LIKE -- IT'S
LIKE BEING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND
LIKE MY BEST FRIEND, A GUY NAMED

564
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:02,026
LIKE BEING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND
LIKE MY BEST FRIEND, A GUY NAMED
BARACK.

565
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:02,727
LIKE MY BEST FRIEND, A GUY NAMED
BARACK.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

566
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,829
BARACK.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: BARACK OBAMA.

567
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,464
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: BARACK OBAMA.
OH, YOU KNOW HIM, TOO.

568
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:07,465
>> Stephen: BARACK OBAMA.
OH, YOU KNOW HIM, TOO.
YEAH, HELL OF A GUY.

569
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,800
OH, YOU KNOW HIM, TOO.
YEAH, HELL OF A GUY.
BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING.

570
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,702
YEAH, HELL OF A GUY.
BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING.
>> Stephen: SIR, I DON'T THINK

571
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:12,803
BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING.
>> Stephen: SIR, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S HISTORICALLY ACCURATE.

572
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:13,738
>> Stephen: SIR, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S HISTORICALLY ACCURATE.
>> COME ON, MAN.

573
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,574
THAT'S HISTORICALLY ACCURATE.
>> COME ON, MAN.
GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, JACK.

574
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:17,675
>> COME ON, MAN.
GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, JACK.
LET'S DO SOME PUSHUPS.

575
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:18,776
GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, JACK.
LET'S DO SOME PUSHUPS.
>> Stephen: NOT RIGHT NOW,

576
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,243
LET'S DO SOME PUSHUPS.
>> Stephen: NOT RIGHT NOW,
SIR.

577
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,378
>> Stephen: NOT RIGHT NOW,
SIR.
BUT BEFORE WE GO, I WOULD LIKE

578
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,214
SIR.
BUT BEFORE WE GO, I WOULD LIKE
TO SEE THAT AT SOME POINT,

579
00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:23,447
BUT BEFORE WE GO, I WOULD LIKE
TO SEE THAT AT SOME POINT,
THOUGH.

580
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:24,949
TO SEE THAT AT SOME POINT,
THOUGH.
IS THERE ANY MESSAGE TO THE

581
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:25,983
THOUGH.
IS THERE ANY MESSAGE TO THE
COUNTRY THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO

582
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,019
IS THERE ANY MESSAGE TO THE
COUNTRY THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO
GIVE AS WE COME OUT TO HAVE THE

583
00:21:28,021 --> 00:21:28,319
COUNTRY THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO
GIVE AS WE COME OUT TO HAVE THE
PANDEMIC?

584
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:29,920
GIVE AS WE COME OUT TO HAVE THE
PANDEMIC?
>> LOOK, FOLKS, LOOK -- FOLKS

585
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:30,721
PANDEMIC?
>> LOOK, FOLKS, LOOK -- FOLKS
ARE HURTING, OKAY?

586
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,324
>> LOOK, FOLKS, LOOK -- FOLKS
ARE HURTING, OKAY?
YOU KNOW, I GREW UP IN SCRANTON

587
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:34,825
ARE HURTING, OKAY?
YOU KNOW, I GREW UP IN SCRANTON
UP, YOU KNOW, MY DAD LOST HIS

588
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:34,992
YOU KNOW, I GREW UP IN SCRANTON
UP, YOU KNOW, MY DAD LOST HIS
JOB.

589
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:37,061
UP, YOU KNOW, MY DAD LOST HIS
JOB.
HE SAYS, JOEY, I LOST MY JOB.

590
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:39,597
JOB.
HE SAYS, JOEY, I LOST MY JOB.
I SAID, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,

591
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:39,830
HE SAYS, JOEY, I LOST MY JOB.
I SAID, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,
POPS?

592
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,632
I SAID, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,
POPS?
HE SAID, I'M GOING TO STARE AT

593
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:42,700
POPS?
HE SAID, I'M GOING TO STARE AT
THE CEILING AND THINK ABOUT WHAT

594
00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:44,201
HE SAID, I'M GOING TO STARE AT
THE CEILING AND THINK ABOUT WHAT
TO DO.

595
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:45,736
THE CEILING AND THINK ABOUT WHAT
TO DO.
SO POP WOULD STARE FOR HOURS A

596
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:46,470
TO DO.
SO POP WOULD STARE FOR HOURS A
DAY AT THE CEILING.

597
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:48,072
SO POP WOULD STARE FOR HOURS A
DAY AT THE CEILING.
I WOULD SAY, POPS, CAN I STARE

598
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,440
DAY AT THE CEILING.
I WOULD SAY, POPS, CAN I STARE
FOR YOU FOR A WHILE?

599
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:52,410
I WOULD SAY, POPS, CAN I STARE
FOR YOU FOR A WHILE?
SO I WOULD GO IN AND I'D STARE

600
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:53,711
FOR YOU FOR A WHILE?
SO I WOULD GO IN AND I'D STARE
SO HE COULD SHOWER AND WHATNOT,

601
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:55,579
SO I WOULD GO IN AND I'D STARE
SO HE COULD SHOWER AND WHATNOT,
GO TO PAPER JOES AND GET PAPER

602
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:58,015
SO HE COULD SHOWER AND WHATNOT,
GO TO PAPER JOES AND GET PAPER
TOWELS AND AVOCADOS AND ALL THAT

603
00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:58,516
GO TO PAPER JOES AND GET PAPER
TOWELS AND AVOCADOS AND ALL THAT
GOOD STUFF.

604
00:21:58,518 --> 00:22:00,084
TOWELS AND AVOCADOS AND ALL THAT
GOOD STUFF.
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT,

605
00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:00,451
GOOD STUFF.
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT,
MR. PRESIDENT --

606
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:00,951
>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT,
MR. PRESIDENT --
>> WHAT?

607
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:02,186
MR. PRESIDENT --
>> WHAT?
GREAT TO BE HERE, MERV.

608
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:02,787
>> WHAT?
GREAT TO BE HERE, MERV.
COME ON.

609
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:04,922
GREAT TO BE HERE, MERV.
COME ON.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT MERV.

610
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:09,393
COME ON.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT MERV.
ORRY ABOUT THAT, CONAN.

611
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:09,627
>> Stephen: I'M NOT MERV.
ORRY ABOUT THAT, CONAN.
JOHNNY.

612
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:13,998
ORRY ABOUT THAT, CONAN.
JOHNNY.
>> Stephen: PRESIDENT JOE

613
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:14,732
JOHNNY.
>> Stephen: PRESIDENT JOE
BIDEN, EVERYBODY!

614
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:17,335
>> Stephen: PRESIDENT JOE
BIDEN, EVERYBODY!
CHECK OUT HIS WORK THE REST OF

615
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:18,302
BIDEN, EVERYBODY!
CHECK OUT HIS WORK THE REST OF
THE WEEK!

616
00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:21,038
CHECK OUT HIS WORK THE REST OF
THE WEEK!
UNRELATED, CHECK OUT DANA

617
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,140
THE WEEK!
UNRELATED, CHECK OUT DANA
CARVEY'S NEW PODCAST FANTASTIC,

618
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:27,144
UNRELATED, CHECK OUT DANA
CARVEY'S NEW PODCAST FANTASTIC,
WITH DANA CARVEY, IT'S

619
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:27,411
CARVEY'S NEW PODCAST FANTASTIC,
WITH DANA CARVEY, IT'S
FANTASTIC!

620
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:29,447
WITH DANA CARVEY, IT'S
FANTASTIC!
BACK WITH JON BATISTE,

621
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:29,980
FANTASTIC!
BACK WITH JON BATISTE,
FANTASTIC!

622
00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:30,481
BACK WITH JON BATISTE,
FANTASTIC!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

623
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,283
FANTASTIC!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I♪

624
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:46,330
♪♪♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

625
00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:47,631
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK!

626
00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:48,199
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK!
LOOK AT THAT!

627
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,668
WELCOME BACK!
LOOK AT THAT!
LOOK AT THAT OVER THERE!

628
00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:51,168
LOOK AT THAT!
LOOK AT THAT OVER THERE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

629
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:53,571
LOOK AT THAT OVER THERE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HEY, EVERYBODY!

630
00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:55,139
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK, LADIES AND

631
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:59,844
HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN!

632
00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:01,612
WELCOME BACK, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN!
FOLKS!

633
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:04,915
GENTLEMEN!
FOLKS!
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS JOHN

634
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:05,449
FOLKS!
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS JOHN
STEWART.

635
00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:07,118
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS JOHN
STEWART.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

636
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:07,852
STEWART.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪♪♪

637
00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:11,856
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪♪♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪

638
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,891
♪♪♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪♪♪

639
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:19,130
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪♪♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪

640
00:23:19,132 --> 00:23:22,266
♪♪♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪♪♪

641
00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:27,838
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪♪♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪

642
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,142
♪♪♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪♪♪

643
00:23:31,144 --> 00:23:35,646
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪♪♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪

644
00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:35,813
♪♪♪
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪

645
00:23:35,815 --> 00:23:37,081
♪ LIVING IN AMERICA ♪
♪
♪

646
00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:51,796
>> I GUESS THIS IS IT!
>> Stephen: IT'S A DELIGHT TO
HAVE YOU HERE, MY FRIEND.

647
00:23:51,798 --> 00:23:52,830
>> Stephen: IT'S A DELIGHT TO
HAVE YOU HERE, MY FRIEND.
>> OH, MY GOD THERE'S NOTHING I

648
00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:55,833
HAVE YOU HERE, MY FRIEND.
>> OH, MY GOD THERE'S NOTHING I
WANTED TO DO MORE THAN --

649
00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:56,901
>> OH, MY GOD THERE'S NOTHING I
WANTED TO DO MORE THAN --
BREATHE EVERYONE'S AIR.

650
00:23:56,903 --> 00:23:57,334
WANTED TO DO MORE THAN --
BREATHE EVERYONE'S AIR.
( LAUGHTER )

651
00:23:57,336 --> 00:23:58,235
BREATHE EVERYONE'S AIR.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THIS IS WHAT I

652
00:23:58,237 --> 00:23:59,804
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THIS IS WHAT I
KNOW ABOUT YOU, WE ARE TRULY

653
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:01,572
>> Stephen: THIS IS WHAT I
KNOW ABOUT YOU, WE ARE TRULY
DEAR FRIENDS, AND YET THIS IS

654
00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:03,474
KNOW ABOUT YOU, WE ARE TRULY
DEAR FRIENDS, AND YET THIS IS
THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN YOU IN

655
00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:05,409
DEAR FRIENDS, AND YET THIS IS
THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN YOU IN
THE FLESH IN 15 MONTHS.

656
00:24:05,411 --> 00:24:06,177
THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN YOU IN
THE FLESH IN 15 MONTHS.
>> THAT IS CORRECT.

657
00:24:06,179 --> 00:24:06,744
THE FLESH IN 15 MONTHS.
>> THAT IS CORRECT.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.

658
00:24:06,746 --> 00:24:09,380
>> THAT IS CORRECT.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
AND I AM SO REALLY HAPPY!

659
00:24:09,382 --> 00:24:13,117
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
AND I AM SO REALLY HAPPY!
AND I KNOW WE'RE ALL EXCITED AND

660
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,052
AND I AM SO REALLY HAPPY!
AND I KNOW WE'RE ALL EXCITED AND
I'M NOT GOING TO GET COVID, BUT

661
00:24:15,054 --> 00:24:16,987
AND I KNOW WE'RE ALL EXCITED AND
I'M NOT GOING TO GET COVID, BUT
I'M GOING TO GET SOMETHING.

662
00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:17,288
I'M NOT GOING TO GET COVID, BUT
I'M GOING TO GET SOMETHING.
( LAUGHTER )

663
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:18,923
I'M GOING TO GET SOMETHING.
( LAUGHTER )
HONESTLY, THESE PEOPLE DID NOT

664
00:24:18,925 --> 00:24:20,791
( LAUGHTER )
HONESTLY, THESE PEOPLE DID NOT
TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEMSELVES

665
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:21,292
HONESTLY, THESE PEOPLE DID NOT
TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEMSELVES
DURING THE PANDEMIC.

666
00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:23,394
TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEMSELVES
DURING THE PANDEMIC.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME,

667
00:24:23,396 --> 00:24:25,062
DURING THE PANDEMIC.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME,
ACTUALLY THE FIRST TIME WE

668
00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:27,832
>> Stephen: LAST TIME,
ACTUALLY THE FIRST TIME WE
TALKED DURING COVID, I WAS STILL

669
00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:28,899
ACTUALLY THE FIRST TIME WE
TALKED DURING COVID, I WAS STILL
IN SOUTH CAROLINA --

670
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,100
TALKED DURING COVID, I WAS STILL
IN SOUTH CAROLINA --
>> THAT'S RIGHT, YOU WERE LOCKED

671
00:24:30,102 --> 00:24:30,301
IN SOUTH CAROLINA --
>> THAT'S RIGHT, YOU WERE LOCKED
DOWN.

672
00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:31,902
>> THAT'S RIGHT, YOU WERE LOCKED
DOWN.
>> Stephen: I WAS LOCKED DOWN,

673
00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:34,104
DOWN.
>> Stephen: I WAS LOCKED DOWN,
DOWN THERE, AND THE FAMILY, EVIE

674
00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:36,974
>> Stephen: I WAS LOCKED DOWN,
DOWN THERE, AND THE FAMILY, EVIE
AND CAN KIDS WERE THE ACTUAL

675
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:37,174
DOWN THERE, AND THE FAMILY, EVIE
AND CAN KIDS WERE THE ACTUAL
CREW.

676
00:24:37,176 --> 00:24:37,541
AND CAN KIDS WERE THE ACTUAL
CREW.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.

677
00:24:37,543 --> 00:24:38,676
CREW.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S HOW WE WERE

678
00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:42,313
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S HOW WE WERE
DOING IT, IN A LITTLE UNUSED

679
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,048
>> Stephen: THAT'S HOW WE WERE
DOING IT, IN A LITTLE UNUSED
BEDROOM WITH CABLES THROUGH THE

680
00:24:44,050 --> 00:24:46,484
DOING IT, IN A LITTLE UNUSED
BEDROOM WITH CABLES THROUGH THE
WINDOW AND A SATELLITE TRUCK ON

681
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,519
BEDROOM WITH CABLES THROUGH THE
WINDOW AND A SATELLITE TRUCK ON
OUR LAWN.

682
00:24:48,521 --> 00:24:48,853
WINDOW AND A SATELLITE TRUCK ON
OUR LAWN.
>> FANTASTIC.

683
00:24:48,855 --> 00:24:50,454
OUR LAWN.
>> FANTASTIC.
>> Stephen: THE ROOM WAS TWICE

684
00:24:50,456 --> 00:24:52,723
>> FANTASTIC.
>> Stephen: THE ROOM WAS TWICE
THE SIZE OF THE DESK, REALLY

685
00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:54,458
>> Stephen: THE ROOM WAS TWICE
THE SIZE OF THE DESK, REALLY
TINY, BUT THE POINT WAS TO GET

686
00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:55,326
THE SIZE OF THE DESK, REALLY
TINY, BUT THE POINT WAS TO GET
SOMETHING OUT THERE, WE REALLY

687
00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:56,994
TINY, BUT THE POINT WAS TO GET
SOMETHING OUT THERE, WE REALLY
WANTED TO DO THE SHOW.

688
00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:57,361
SOMETHING OUT THERE, WE REALLY
WANTED TO DO THE SHOW.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.

689
00:24:57,363 --> 00:24:59,630
WANTED TO DO THE SHOW.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WHEN I WAS

690
00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:00,898
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WHEN I WAS
INTERVIEWING YOU FOR IT, WE WERE

691
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,466
>> Stephen: WHEN I WAS
INTERVIEWING YOU FOR IT, WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT HOW LITTLE

692
00:25:02,468 --> 00:25:04,902
INTERVIEWING YOU FOR IT, WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT HOW LITTLE
PROGRESS WE'VE MADE IN SCIENCE

693
00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:08,572
TALKING ABOUT HOW LITTLE
PROGRESS WE'VE MADE IN SCIENCE
IN COMBATING PANDEMICS.

694
00:25:08,574 --> 00:25:10,774
PROGRESS WE'VE MADE IN SCIENCE
IN COMBATING PANDEMICS.
IN 1918, THE ADVICE WAS WEAR A

695
00:25:10,776 --> 00:25:14,745
IN COMBATING PANDEMICS.
IN 1918, THE ADVICE WAS WEAR A
MASK, WATCH YOUR HANDS, SAME A

696
00:25:14,747 --> 00:25:15,279
IN 1918, THE ADVICE WAS WEAR A
MASK, WATCH YOUR HANDS, SAME A
HUNDRED YEARS LATER.

697
00:25:15,281 --> 00:25:18,482
MASK, WATCH YOUR HANDS, SAME A
HUNDRED YEARS LATER.
>> I THOUGHT IN 1918 THEY WOULD

698
00:25:18,484 --> 00:25:20,351
HUNDRED YEARS LATER.
>> I THOUGHT IN 1918 THEY WOULD
BE, LIKE, DRINK A I THINK

699
00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:23,354
>> I THOUGHT IN 1918 THEY WOULD
BE, LIKE, DRINK A I THINK
THETURE OF MERCURY AND BUTTERFLY

700
00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:23,587
BE, LIKE, DRINK A I THINK
THETURE OF MERCURY AND BUTTERFLY
JUICE.

701
00:25:23,589 --> 00:25:24,522
THETURE OF MERCURY AND BUTTERFLY
JUICE.
IT'S THE EXACT SAME THING.

702
00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:25,389
JUICE.
IT'S THE EXACT SAME THING.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FEEL

703
00:25:25,391 --> 00:25:27,825
IT'S THE EXACT SAME THING.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THE SCIENCE NOW?

704
00:25:27,827 --> 00:25:30,060
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THE SCIENCE NOW?
>> SO, I WILL SAY THIS -- AND I

705
00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:32,930
ABOUT THE SCIENCE NOW?
>> SO, I WILL SAY THIS -- AND I
HONESTLY MEAN THIS -- I THINK WE

706
00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:36,901
>> SO, I WILL SAY THIS -- AND I
HONESTLY MEAN THIS -- I THINK WE
OWE A GREAT DEBT OF GRATITUDE TO

707
00:25:36,903 --> 00:25:37,134
HONESTLY MEAN THIS -- I THINK WE
OWE A GREAT DEBT OF GRATITUDE TO
SCIENCE.

708
00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:39,837
OWE A GREAT DEBT OF GRATITUDE TO
SCIENCE.
SCIENCE HAS, IN MANY WAYS,

709
00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:45,442
SCIENCE.
SCIENCE HAS, IN MANY WAYS,
HELPED EASE THE SUFFERING OF

710
00:25:45,444 --> 00:25:47,444
SCIENCE HAS, IN MANY WAYS,
HELPED EASE THE SUFFERING OF
THIS PANDEMIC WHICH WAS MORE

711
00:25:47,446 --> 00:25:51,815
HELPED EASE THE SUFFERING OF
THIS PANDEMIC WHICH WAS MORE
THAN LIKELY CAUSED BY SCIENCE.

712
00:25:51,817 --> 00:25:55,819
THIS PANDEMIC WHICH WAS MORE
THAN LIKELY CAUSED BY SCIENCE.
( LAUGHTER )

713
00:25:55,821 --> 00:25:58,556
THAN LIKELY CAUSED BY SCIENCE.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )

714
00:25:58,558 --> 00:26:02,626
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
AND THAT'S KIND OF -- NO, NO,

715
00:26:02,628 --> 00:26:03,494
( APPLAUSE )
AND THAT'S KIND OF -- NO, NO,
NO, NO.

716
00:26:03,496 --> 00:26:03,727
AND THAT'S KIND OF -- NO, NO,
NO, NO.
LISTEN.

717
00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:04,662
NO, NO.
LISTEN.
>> Stephen: IT'S COFFEE.

718
00:26:04,664 --> 00:26:08,599
LISTEN.
>> Stephen: IT'S COFFEE.
I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.

719
00:26:08,601 --> 00:26:09,400
>> Stephen: IT'S COFFEE.
I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

720
00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:10,334
I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
DO YOU MEAN PERHAPS THERE'S A

721
00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:11,268
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
DO YOU MEAN PERHAPS THERE'S A
CHANCE THAT THIS WAS CREATED IN

722
00:26:11,270 --> 00:26:13,404
DO YOU MEAN PERHAPS THERE'S A
CHANCE THAT THIS WAS CREATED IN
A LAB, THERE'S AN

723
00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:14,638
CHANCE THAT THIS WAS CREATED IN
A LAB, THERE'S AN
INVESTIGATION --

724
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:15,306
A LAB, THERE'S AN
INVESTIGATION --
>> A CHANCE?

725
00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:15,806
INVESTIGATION --
>> A CHANCE?
OH, MY GOD!

726
00:26:15,808 --> 00:26:16,874
>> A CHANCE?
OH, MY GOD!
>> Stephen: IF THERE'S

727
00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:18,742
OH, MY GOD!
>> Stephen: IF THERE'S
EVIDENCE, I'D LOVE TO HEAR.

728
00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:20,744
>> Stephen: IF THERE'S
EVIDENCE, I'D LOVE TO HEAR.
>> THERE'S A NOVEL RESPIRATORY

729
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,446
EVIDENCE, I'D LOVE TO HEAR.
>> THERE'S A NOVEL RESPIRATORY
CORONAVIRUS OVERTAKING WUHAN

730
00:26:22,448 --> 00:26:22,646
>> THERE'S A NOVEL RESPIRATORY
CORONAVIRUS OVERTAKING WUHAN
CHINA.

731
00:26:22,648 --> 00:26:24,081
CORONAVIRUS OVERTAKING WUHAN
CHINA.
WHAT DO WE DO?

732
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,617
CHINA.
WHAT DO WE DO?
OH, YOU KNOW WHO WE COULD ASK?

733
00:26:26,619 --> 00:26:28,686
WHAT DO WE DO?
OH, YOU KNOW WHO WE COULD ASK?
THE WUHAN NOVEL RESPIRATORY

734
00:26:28,688 --> 00:26:30,120
OH, YOU KNOW WHO WE COULD ASK?
THE WUHAN NOVEL RESPIRATORY
CORONAVIRUS LAB.

735
00:26:30,122 --> 00:26:31,755
THE WUHAN NOVEL RESPIRATORY
CORONAVIRUS LAB.
THE DISEASE IS THE SAME NAME AS

736
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:34,325
CORONAVIRUS LAB.
THE DISEASE IS THE SAME NAME AS
THE LAB.

737
00:26:34,327 --> 00:26:34,692
THE DISEASE IS THE SAME NAME AS
THE LAB.
( LAUGHTER )

738
00:26:34,694 --> 00:26:36,527
THE LAB.
( LAUGHTER )
THAT'S JUST -- THAT'S JUST A

739
00:26:36,529 --> 00:26:38,329
( LAUGHTER )
THAT'S JUST -- THAT'S JUST A
LITTLE TOO WEIRD, DON'T YOU

740
00:26:38,331 --> 00:26:38,529
THAT'S JUST -- THAT'S JUST A
LITTLE TOO WEIRD, DON'T YOU
THINK?

741
00:26:38,531 --> 00:26:40,030
LITTLE TOO WEIRD, DON'T YOU
THINK?
AND THEN THE ACTUAL SCIENTISTS

742
00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:41,999
THINK?
AND THEN THE ACTUAL SCIENTISTS
ARE, LIKE, HOW DID THIS -- SO,

743
00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:44,435
AND THEN THE ACTUAL SCIENTISTS
ARE, LIKE, HOW DID THIS -- SO,
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU WORK AT THE

744
00:26:44,437 --> 00:26:45,569
ARE, LIKE, HOW DID THIS -- SO,
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU WORK AT THE
WUHAN RESPIRATORY CORONAVIRUS

745
00:26:45,571 --> 00:26:49,139
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU WORK AT THE
WUHAN RESPIRATORY CORONAVIRUS
LAB, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

746
00:26:49,141 --> 00:26:54,244
WUHAN RESPIRATORY CORONAVIRUS
LAB, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
THEY'RE LIKE, OOOH, A PENGUIN

747
00:26:54,246 --> 00:26:54,745
LAB, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
THEY'RE LIKE, OOOH, A PENGUIN
KISSED A TURTLE?

748
00:26:54,747 --> 00:26:55,412
THEY'RE LIKE, OOOH, A PENGUIN
KISSED A TURTLE?
NO!

749
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:56,380
KISSED A TURTLE?
NO!
LOOK AT THE NAME!

750
00:26:56,382 --> 00:26:58,816
NO!
LOOK AT THE NAME!
LET ME SEE YOUR BUSINESS CARD!

751
00:26:58,818 --> 00:27:00,918
LOOK AT THE NAME!
LET ME SEE YOUR BUSINESS CARD!
SHOW ME YOUR BUSINESS CARD!

752
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,888
LET ME SEE YOUR BUSINESS CARD!
SHOW ME YOUR BUSINESS CARD!
OH, I WORK AT THE CORONAVIRUS

753
00:27:04,890 --> 00:27:07,524
SHOW ME YOUR BUSINESS CARD!
OH, I WORK AT THE CORONAVIRUS
LAB IN WUHAN!

754
00:27:07,526 --> 00:27:07,791
OH, I WORK AT THE CORONAVIRUS
LAB IN WUHAN!
OH!

755
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:09,159
LAB IN WUHAN!
OH!
BECAUSE THERE'S A CORONAVIRUS

756
00:27:09,161 --> 00:27:10,260
OH!
BECAUSE THERE'S A CORONAVIRUS
LOOSE IN WUHAN.

757
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:11,829
BECAUSE THERE'S A CORONAVIRUS
LOOSE IN WUHAN.
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

758
00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:20,938
LOOSE IN WUHAN.
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
MAYBE A BAT FLEW INTO THE CHLOEA

759
00:27:20,940 --> 00:27:25,009
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
MAYBE A BAT FLEW INTO THE CHLOEA
OF A TURKEY AND SNEEZED INTO MY

760
00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:29,279
MAYBE A BAT FLEW INTO THE CHLOEA
OF A TURKEY AND SNEEZED INTO MY
CHILI AND NOW WE ALL HAVE

761
00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:29,580
OF A TURKEY AND SNEEZED INTO MY
CHILI AND NOW WE ALL HAVE
CORONAVIRUS.

762
00:27:29,582 --> 00:27:31,882
CHILI AND NOW WE ALL HAVE
CORONAVIRUS.
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, JON -

763
00:27:31,884 --> 00:27:32,416
CORONAVIRUS.
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, JON -
OH, MY GOD!

764
00:27:32,418 --> 00:27:33,283
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, JON -
OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!

765
00:27:33,285 --> 00:27:37,087
OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
THERE'S BEEN AN OUTBREAK OF

766
00:27:37,089 --> 00:27:42,393
OH, MY GOD!
THERE'S BEEN AN OUTBREAK OF
CHOCOLATY GOODNESS NEAR HERSHEY,

767
00:27:42,395 --> 00:27:43,027
THERE'S BEEN AN OUTBREAK OF
CHOCOLATY GOODNESS NEAR HERSHEY,
PENNSYLVANIA, WHAT DO YOU THINK

768
00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:43,293
CHOCOLATY GOODNESS NEAR HERSHEY,
PENNSYLVANIA, WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENED?

769
00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:44,695
PENNSYLVANIA, WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE A STEAM

770
00:27:44,697 --> 00:27:45,629
HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE A STEAM
SHOVEL MADE IT WITH A COCOA

771
00:27:45,631 --> 00:27:48,465
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE A STEAM
SHOVEL MADE IT WITH A COCOA
BEAN, OR MAYBE IT'S THE

772
00:27:48,467 --> 00:28:06,350
SHOVEL MADE IT WITH A COCOA
BEAN, OR MAYBE IT'S THE
(  BLEEP  ) CHOCOLATE FACTORY!

773
00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:11,755
ANTHONY FAUCI AND FRANCISICLE
LINS, THEY SHOULD DEFINITELY BE
INVESTIGATED.

774
00:28:11,757 --> 00:28:13,891
LINS, THEY SHOULD DEFINITELY BE
INVESTIGATED.
>> STOP WITH THE LODGESSIC AND

775
00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:18,295
INVESTIGATED.
>> STOP WITH THE LODGESSIC AND
PEOPLE AND THINGS.

776
00:28:18,297 --> 00:28:20,030
>> STOP WITH THE LODGESSIC AND
PEOPLE AND THINGS.
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND.

777
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:23,434
PEOPLE AND THINGS.
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND.
IT COULD BE POSSIBLE, YOU COULD

778
00:28:23,436 --> 00:28:24,368
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND.
IT COULD BE POSSIBLE, YOU COULD
BE RIGHT.

779
00:28:24,370 --> 00:28:25,002
IT COULD BE POSSIBLE, YOU COULD
BE RIGHT.
IT COULD BE POSSIBLE THAT THEY

780
00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:30,107
BE RIGHT.
IT COULD BE POSSIBLE THAT THEY
HAVE THE LAB IN WIT WUHAN TO STY

781
00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:31,775
IT COULD BE POSSIBLE THAT THEY
HAVE THE LAB IN WIT WUHAN TO STY
THE NOVEL CORONAVIRUS DISEASES

782
00:28:31,777 --> 00:28:34,411
HAVE THE LAB IN WIT WUHAN TO STY
THE NOVEL CORONAVIRUS DISEASES
BECAUSE IN WUHAN THERE ARE A LOT

783
00:28:34,413 --> 00:28:36,480
THE NOVEL CORONAVIRUS DISEASES
BECAUSE IN WUHAN THERE ARE A LOT
OF CORONAVIRUS DISEASES BECAUSE

784
00:28:36,482 --> 00:28:37,781
BECAUSE IN WUHAN THERE ARE A LOT
OF CORONAVIRUS DISEASES BECAUSE
TO HAVE THE BAT POPULATION

785
00:28:37,783 --> 00:28:37,981
OF CORONAVIRUS DISEASES BECAUSE
TO HAVE THE BAT POPULATION
THERE.

786
00:28:37,983 --> 00:28:39,083
TO HAVE THE BAT POPULATION
THERE.
>> IT'S A LOCAL SPECIALTY AND

787
00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:41,018
THERE.
>> IT'S A LOCAL SPECIALTY AND
THE ONLY PLACE TO FIND BATS.

788
00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:44,321
>> IT'S A LOCAL SPECIALTY AND
THE ONLY PLACE TO FIND BATS.
YOU WON'T FIND BATS ANYWHERE

789
00:28:44,323 --> 00:28:44,521
THE ONLY PLACE TO FIND BATS.
YOU WON'T FIND BATS ANYWHERE
ELSE.

790
00:28:44,523 --> 00:28:46,023
YOU WON'T FIND BATS ANYWHERE
ELSE.
US A THIN, TEXAS, HAVE THOUSANDS

791
00:28:46,025 --> 00:28:48,292
ELSE.
US A THIN, TEXAS, HAVE THOUSANDS
OF THEM THAT FLY OUT OF A CAVE

792
00:28:48,294 --> 00:28:50,027
US A THIN, TEXAS, HAVE THOUSANDS
OF THEM THAT FLY OUT OF A CAVE
EVERY NIGHT AT DUSK!

793
00:28:50,029 --> 00:28:53,931
OF THEM THAT FLY OUT OF A CAVE
EVERY NIGHT AT DUSK!
IS THERE A CORONAVIRUS IN AU

794
00:28:53,933 --> 00:28:56,600
EVERY NIGHT AT DUSK!
IS THERE A CORONAVIRUS IN AU
AUSTIN, A AN AUSTIN CORONAVIRUS?

795
00:28:56,602 --> 00:28:58,335
IS THERE A CORONAVIRUS IN AU
AUSTIN, A AN AUSTIN CORONAVIRUS?
NO, DOESN'T SEEM TO BE AN AUSTIN

796
00:28:58,337 --> 00:28:59,470
AUSTIN, A AN AUSTIN CORONAVIRUS?
NO, DOESN'T SEEM TO BE AN AUSTIN
CORONAVIRUS.

797
00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,338
NO, DOESN'T SEEM TO BE AN AUSTIN
CORONAVIRUS.
THE ONLY CORONAVIRUS IS IN WUHAN

798
00:29:01,340 --> 00:29:02,773
CORONAVIRUS.
THE ONLY CORONAVIRUS IS IN WUHAN
WHERE THEY HAVE A LAB CALLED --

799
00:29:02,775 --> 00:29:04,441
THE ONLY CORONAVIRUS IS IN WUHAN
WHERE THEY HAVE A LAB CALLED --
WHAT'S THE LAB CALLED AGAIN,

800
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:04,675
WHERE THEY HAVE A LAB CALLED --
WHAT'S THE LAB CALLED AGAIN,
STEPHEN?

801
00:29:04,677 --> 00:29:06,510
WHAT'S THE LAB CALLED AGAIN,
STEPHEN?
>> Stephen: THE WUHAN NOVEL

802
00:29:06,512 --> 00:29:07,177
STEPHEN?
>> Stephen: THE WUHAN NOVEL
CORONAVIRUS LAB.

803
00:29:07,179 --> 00:29:08,846
>> Stephen: THE WUHAN NOVEL
CORONAVIRUS LAB.
>> I BELIEVE THAT'S THE KAY

804
00:29:08,848 --> 00:29:09,046
CORONAVIRUS LAB.
>> I BELIEVE THAT'S THE KAY
CASE.

805
00:29:09,048 --> 00:29:12,649
>> I BELIEVE THAT'S THE KAY
CASE.
-- IBELIEVE THAT'S THE CASE.

806
00:29:12,651 --> 00:29:14,418
CASE.
-- IBELIEVE THAT'S THE CASE.
>> Stephen: AND HOW LONG HAVE

807
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:17,354
-- IBELIEVE THAT'S THE CASE.
>> Stephen: AND HOW LONG HAVE
YOU WORKED FOR SENATOR RON

808
00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:17,588
>> Stephen: AND HOW LONG HAVE
YOU WORKED FOR SENATOR RON
JOHNSON

809
00:29:17,590 --> 00:29:18,355
YOU WORKED FOR SENATOR RON
JOHNSON
( LAUGHTER )

810
00:29:18,357 --> 00:29:19,823
JOHNSON
( LAUGHTER )
>> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,

811
00:29:19,825 --> 00:29:21,759
( LAUGHTER )
>> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY.

812
00:29:21,761 --> 00:29:23,393
>> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD BE

813
00:29:23,395 --> 00:29:23,727
THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD BE
RIGHT.

814
00:29:23,729 --> 00:29:25,028
>> Stephen: YOU COULD BE
RIGHT.
>> BUT THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH

815
00:29:25,030 --> 00:29:25,262
RIGHT.
>> BUT THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH
SCIENCE.

816
00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:26,396
>> BUT THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH
SCIENCE.
SCIENCE IS INCREDIBLE.

817
00:29:26,398 --> 00:29:27,798
SCIENCE.
SCIENCE IS INCREDIBLE.
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP

818
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,867
SCIENCE IS INCREDIBLE.
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP
AND NO ONE IN THE ROOM WITH

819
00:29:29,869 --> 00:29:30,868
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP
AND NO ONE IN THE ROOM WITH
THOSE CATS GOES, I DON'T KNOW IF

820
00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:32,936
AND NO ONE IN THE ROOM WITH
THOSE CATS GOES, I DON'T KNOW IF
WE SHOULD DO THAT.

821
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:33,237
THOSE CATS GOES, I DON'T KNOW IF
WE SHOULD DO THAT.
( LAUGHTER )

822
00:29:33,239 --> 00:29:34,938
WE SHOULD DO THAT.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: I AGREE WITH YOU.

823
00:29:34,940 --> 00:29:36,340
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: I AGREE WITH YOU.
IF SCIENCE CAN DO IT, THEY WILL

824
00:29:36,342 --> 00:29:37,808
>> Stephen: I AGREE WITH YOU.
IF SCIENCE CAN DO IT, THEY WILL
DO IT.

825
00:29:37,810 --> 00:29:40,177
IF SCIENCE CAN DO IT, THEY WILL
DO IT.
>> THEY'RE LIKE CURIOSITY KILLED

826
00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:41,311
DO IT.
>> THEY'RE LIKE CURIOSITY KILLED
THE CAT.

827
00:29:41,313 --> 00:29:43,380
>> THEY'RE LIKE CURIOSITY KILLED
THE CAT.
THEY'RE, LIKE, LET'S KILL 10,000

828
00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:45,516
THE CAT.
THEY'RE, LIKE, LET'S KILL 10,000
CATS TO FIND OUT WHY.

829
00:29:45,518 --> 00:29:47,284
THEY'RE, LIKE, LET'S KILL 10,000
CATS TO FIND OUT WHY.
THAT'S WHAT SCIENCE DOES, THEY

830
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:47,951
CATS TO FIND OUT WHY.
THAT'S WHAT SCIENCE DOES, THEY
PUSH THINGS.

831
00:29:47,953 --> 00:29:49,119
THAT'S WHAT SCIENCE DOES, THEY
PUSH THINGS.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WE

832
00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:51,021
PUSH THINGS.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WE
STOPPED FILMING A LONG TIME

833
00:29:51,023 --> 00:29:51,221
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WE
STOPPED FILMING A LONG TIME
BACK.

834
00:29:51,223 --> 00:29:52,956
STOPPED FILMING A LONG TIME
BACK.
>> I UNDERSTAND.

835
00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:53,257
BACK.
>> I UNDERSTAND.
( LAUGHTER )

836
00:29:53,259 --> 00:29:57,895
>> I UNDERSTAND.
( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED --

837
00:29:57,897 --> 00:30:04,568
( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

838
00:30:04,570 --> 00:30:09,373
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I HAVE BEEN ALONE FOR SO LONG...

839
00:30:09,375 --> 00:30:11,675
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I HAVE BEEN ALONE FOR SO LONG...
( LAUGHTER )

840
00:30:11,677 --> 00:30:14,378
I HAVE BEEN ALONE FOR SO LONG...
( LAUGHTER )
AND WHEN I REALIZED THAT THE

841
00:30:14,380 --> 00:30:18,515
( LAUGHTER )
AND WHEN I REALIZED THAT THE
LABORATORY WAS HAVING THE SAME

842
00:30:18,517 --> 00:30:23,787
AND WHEN I REALIZED THAT THE
LABORATORY WAS HAVING THE SAME
NAME -- FIRST NAME AND LAST NAM-

843
00:30:23,789 --> 00:30:24,087
LABORATORY WAS HAVING THE SAME
NAME -- FIRST NAME AND LAST NAM-
( LAUGHTER )

844
00:30:24,089 --> 00:30:25,689
NAME -- FIRST NAME AND LAST NAM-
( LAUGHTER )
-- OF THE EVIL THAT HAD BEEN

845
00:30:25,691 --> 00:30:28,058
( LAUGHTER )
-- OF THE EVIL THAT HAD BEEN
PLAGUING US, I THOUGHT TO

846
00:30:28,060 --> 00:30:31,562
-- OF THE EVIL THAT HAD BEEN
PLAGUING US, I THOUGHT TO
MYSELF, THAT'S (  BLEEP  ) UP.

847
00:30:31,564 --> 00:30:32,062
PLAGUING US, I THOUGHT TO
MYSELF, THAT'S (  BLEEP  ) UP.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

848
00:30:32,064 --> 00:30:34,398
MYSELF, THAT'S (  BLEEP  ) UP.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LISTEN TO WHAT I'M TELLING

849
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:34,598
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LISTEN TO WHAT I'M TELLING
YOU --

850
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:35,866
LISTEN TO WHAT I'M TELLING
YOU --
>> Stephen: JON, I TELL YOU

851
00:30:35,868 --> 00:30:37,835
YOU --
>> Stephen: JON, I TELL YOU
WHAT I'M SUSPICIOUS OF.

852
00:30:37,837 --> 00:30:40,771
>> Stephen: JON, I TELL YOU
WHAT I'M SUSPICIOUS OF.
I'M SUSPICIOUS OF THE DAYTONA

853
00:30:40,773 --> 00:30:53,083
WHAT I'M SUSPICIOUS OF.
I'M SUSPICIOUS OF THE DAYTONA
BEACH SPRING BREAK    HERPES LA.

854
00:30:53,085 --> 00:30:56,486
I'M SUSPICIOUS OF THE DAYTONA
BEACH SPRING BREAK    HERPES LA.
THAT MAY BE WHERE THE HERPES

855
00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:57,020
BEACH SPRING BREAK    HERPES LA.
THAT MAY BE WHERE THE HERPES
COMES FROM.

856
00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:58,255
THAT MAY BE WHERE THE HERPES
COMES FROM.
>> I HAVE BEEN TO THAT LAB.

857
00:30:58,257 --> 00:30:59,089
COMES FROM.
>> I HAVE BEEN TO THAT LAB.
>> Stephen: I KNOW.

858
00:30:59,091 --> 00:31:00,357
>> I HAVE BEEN TO THAT LAB.
>> Stephen: I KNOW.
WE HAVE TO TAKE A

859
00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:14,037
>> Stephen: WE'RE BACK WITH
THE MAN HIMSELF, MR. JOHN
STEWART.

860
00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:14,605
THE MAN HIMSELF, MR. JOHN
STEWART.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

861
00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:16,073
STEWART.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: JON --

862
00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:16,273
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: JON --
YEAH.

863
00:31:16,275 --> 00:31:18,275
>> Stephen: JON --
YEAH.
>> Stephen: EITHER I ASK YOU A

864
00:31:18,277 --> 00:31:20,143
YEAH.
>> Stephen: EITHER I ASK YOU A
QUESTION NOW OR DO GO ON.

865
00:31:20,145 --> 00:31:21,545
>> Stephen: EITHER I ASK YOU A
QUESTION NOW OR DO GO ON.
>> CAN I SAY SOMETHING ABOUT

866
00:31:21,547 --> 00:31:21,845
QUESTION NOW OR DO GO ON.
>> CAN I SAY SOMETHING ABOUT
SCIENTISTS.

867
00:31:21,847 --> 00:31:23,113
>> CAN I SAY SOMETHING ABOUT
SCIENTISTS.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SAY

868
00:31:23,115 --> 00:31:24,514
SCIENTISTS.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SAY
ANYTHING, SOME OF MY BEST

869
00:31:24,516 --> 00:31:25,716
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SAY
ANYTHING, SOME OF MY BEST
FRIENDS ARE SCIENTISTS.

870
00:31:25,718 --> 00:31:27,217
ANYTHING, SOME OF MY BEST
FRIENDS ARE SCIENTISTS.
>> I LOVE THEM AND THEY DO SUCH

871
00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:28,719
FRIENDS ARE SCIENTISTS.
>> I LOVE THEM AND THEY DO SUCH
GOOD WORK BUT THEY ARE GOING TO

872
00:31:28,721 --> 00:31:29,186
>> I LOVE THEM AND THEY DO SUCH
GOOD WORK BUT THEY ARE GOING TO
KILL US ALL.

873
00:31:29,188 --> 00:31:31,221
GOOD WORK BUT THEY ARE GOING TO
KILL US ALL.
>> Stephen: ATOMIC BOMB,

874
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:31,722
KILL US ALL.
>> Stephen: ATOMIC BOMB,
PEOPLE.

875
00:31:31,724 --> 00:31:32,489
>> Stephen: ATOMIC BOMB,
PEOPLE.
>> ATOMIC BOMB.

876
00:31:32,491 --> 00:31:33,190
PEOPLE.
>> ATOMIC BOMB.
THEY'RE STILL PEOPLE.

877
00:31:33,192 --> 00:31:35,392
>> ATOMIC BOMB.
THEY'RE STILL PEOPLE.
IF YOU CUT THE ATOM THIS WAY, IT

878
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:37,294
THEY'RE STILL PEOPLE.
IF YOU CUT THE ATOM THIS WAY, IT
CAN POWER THE WAY WITH

879
00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:38,629
IF YOU CUT THE ATOM THIS WAY, IT
CAN POWER THE WAY WITH
ELECTRICITY, IF YOU CUT IT THAT

880
00:31:38,631 --> 00:31:41,465
CAN POWER THE WAY WITH
ELECTRICITY, IF YOU CUT IT THAT
WAY, IT CAN BLOW EVERYTHING UP.

881
00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:43,767
ELECTRICITY, IF YOU CUT IT THAT
WAY, IT CAN BLOW EVERYTHING UP.
GUESS WHICH ONE WE TRIED FIRST.

882
00:31:43,769 --> 00:31:45,502
WAY, IT CAN BLOW EVERYTHING UP.
GUESS WHICH ONE WE TRIED FIRST.
THAT'S WHO WE ARE.

883
00:31:45,504 --> 00:31:47,271
GUESS WHICH ONE WE TRIED FIRST.
THAT'S WHO WE ARE.
REMEMBER THE 1918 PANDEMIC --

884
00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:48,438
THAT'S WHO WE ARE.
REMEMBER THE 1918 PANDEMIC --
>> Stephen: I'VE READ.

885
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,339
REMEMBER THE 1918 PANDEMIC --
>> Stephen: I'VE READ.
I WAS THERE.

886
00:31:49,341 --> 00:31:51,909
>> Stephen: I'VE READ.
I WAS THERE.
LOOK AT MY BEARD.

887
00:31:51,911 --> 00:31:54,077
I WAS THERE.
LOOK AT MY BEARD.
1918, THEY HAD A SAMPLE THAT I

888
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:56,880
LOOK AT MY BEARD.
1918, THEY HAD A SAMPLE THAT I
GUESS HAD BEEN IN THE WHATEVER

889
00:31:56,882 --> 00:31:58,849
1918, THEY HAD A SAMPLE THAT I
GUESS HAD BEEN IN THE WHATEVER
PERMAFROST LAB IN 1918, SO THE

890
00:31:58,851 --> 00:32:01,118
GUESS HAD BEEN IN THE WHATEVER
PERMAFROST LAB IN 1918, SO THE
IDEA WAS THEY WERE GOING TO

891
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,220
PERMAFROST LAB IN 1918, SO THE
IDEA WAS THEY WERE GOING TO
REANIMATE IT, SO THAT THEY COULD

892
00:32:03,222 --> 00:32:05,422
IDEA WAS THEY WERE GOING TO
REANIMATE IT, SO THAT THEY COULD
STUDY IT.

893
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,156
REANIMATE IT, SO THAT THEY COULD
STUDY IT.
THE 1918 PANDEMIC FLU.

894
00:32:06,158 --> 00:32:08,292
STUDY IT.
THE 1918 PANDEMIC FLU.
THEY HAD A LITTLE SAMPLE OF IT

895
00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:10,060
THE 1918 PANDEMIC FLU.
THEY HAD A LITTLE SAMPLE OF IT
AND IT HADN'T BEEN A SCORNLG IN

896
00:32:10,062 --> 00:32:12,262
THEY HAD A LITTLE SAMPLE OF IT
AND IT HADN'T BEEN A SCORNLG IN
THE EARTH IN 100 YEARS AND THEY

897
00:32:12,264 --> 00:32:14,731
AND IT HADN'T BEEN A SCORNLG IN
THE EARTH IN 100 YEARS AND THEY
THOUGHT TO THEMSELVES, WHAT IF

898
00:32:14,733 --> 00:32:16,133
THE EARTH IN 100 YEARS AND THEY
THOUGHT TO THEMSELVES, WHAT IF
WE JUST, I DON'T KNOW, WOKE IT

899
00:32:16,135 --> 00:32:17,000
THOUGHT TO THEMSELVES, WHAT IF
WE JUST, I DON'T KNOW, WOKE IT
UP.

900
00:32:17,002 --> 00:32:18,268
WE JUST, I DON'T KNOW, WOKE IT
UP.
AND NOBODY IN THE ROOM WAS,

901
00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:19,970
UP.
AND NOBODY IN THE ROOM WAS,
LIKE, NO, LET'S NOT DO THAT.

902
00:32:19,972 --> 00:32:21,972
AND NOBODY IN THE ROOM WAS,
LIKE, NO, LET'S NOT DO THAT.
BUT THEY DID THAT.

903
00:32:21,974 --> 00:32:22,973
LIKE, NO, LET'S NOT DO THAT.
BUT THEY DID THAT.
HERE'S HOW I BELIEVE THE WORLD

904
00:32:22,975 --> 00:32:25,442
BUT THEY DID THAT.
HERE'S HOW I BELIEVE THE WORLD
ENDS, AND I SAY THIS TO YOU IN

905
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,009
HERE'S HOW I BELIEVE THE WORLD
ENDS, AND I SAY THIS TO YOU IN
SINCERITY.

906
00:32:26,011 --> 00:32:26,443
ENDS, AND I SAY THIS TO YOU IN
SINCERITY.
>> Stephen: OKAY.

907
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:31,081
SINCERITY.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
WE ARE A SCREWED-UP WORLD.

908
00:32:31,083 --> 00:32:34,117
>> Stephen: OKAY.
WE ARE A SCREWED-UP WORLD.
RACISM, INEQUALITY, FASCISM,

909
00:32:34,119 --> 00:32:35,319
WE ARE A SCREWED-UP WORLD.
RACISM, INEQUALITY, FASCISM,
AUTHORITARIANISM, ALL THESE

910
00:32:35,321 --> 00:32:36,386
RACISM, INEQUALITY, FASCISM,
AUTHORITARIANISM, ALL THESE
HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE THINGS,

911
00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:37,688
AUTHORITARIANISM, ALL THESE
HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE THINGS,
NATURAL RESOURCES ARE RUN DOWN,

912
00:32:37,690 --> 00:32:39,656
HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE THINGS,
NATURAL RESOURCES ARE RUN DOWN,
THAT WILL ALL BE FINE.

913
00:32:39,658 --> 00:32:41,058
NATURAL RESOURCES ARE RUN DOWN,
THAT WILL ALL BE FINE.
( LAUGHTER )

914
00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:43,160
THAT WILL ALL BE FINE.
( LAUGHTER )
THE WORLD ENDS, THE LAST WORDS

915
00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:46,763
( LAUGHTER )
THE WORLD ENDS, THE LAST WORDS
MAN UTTERS ARE SOMEWHERE IN A

916
00:32:46,765 --> 00:32:50,934
THE WORLD ENDS, THE LAST WORDS
MAN UTTERS ARE SOMEWHERE IN A
LAB, A GUY GOES, HUH HUH, IT

917
00:32:50,936 --> 00:32:52,736
MAN UTTERS ARE SOMEWHERE IN A
LAB, A GUY GOES, HUH HUH, IT
WORKED!

918
00:32:52,738 --> 00:32:53,704
LAB, A GUY GOES, HUH HUH, IT
WORKED!
( LAUGHTER )

919
00:32:53,706 --> 00:33:02,546
WORKED!
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )

920
00:33:02,548 --> 00:33:04,014
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: JOHN STEWART, WHAT

921
00:33:04,016 --> 00:33:05,749
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: JOHN STEWART, WHAT
AN EXTRAORDINARY DELIGHT TO SEE

922
00:33:05,751 --> 00:33:06,049
>> Stephen: JOHN STEWART, WHAT
AN EXTRAORDINARY DELIGHT TO SEE
YOU.

923
00:33:06,051 --> 00:33:08,185
AN EXTRAORDINARY DELIGHT TO SEE
YOU.
>> I JUST WANT TO SAY, THIS

924
00:33:08,187 --> 00:33:09,953
YOU.
>> I JUST WANT TO SAY, THIS
HUMAN CONTACT -- NOW, YOU KNOW I

925
00:33:09,955 --> 00:33:10,687
>> I JUST WANT TO SAY, THIS
HUMAN CONTACT -- NOW, YOU KNOW I
DON'T CARE FOR IT.

926
00:33:10,689 --> 00:33:11,922
HUMAN CONTACT -- NOW, YOU KNOW I
DON'T CARE FOR IT.
>> Stephen: I KNOW.

927
00:33:11,924 --> 00:33:12,856
DON'T CARE FOR IT.
>> Stephen: I KNOW.
( LAUGHTER )

928
00:33:12,858 --> 00:33:16,360
>> Stephen: I KNOW.
( LAUGHTER )
>> BUT TONIGHT, YOU AND DAVE

929
00:33:16,362 --> 00:33:18,195
( LAUGHTER )
>> BUT TONIGHT, YOU AND DAVE
CHAPPELLE, I BELIEVE, SUSTAINED

930
00:33:18,197 --> 00:33:21,665
>> BUT TONIGHT, YOU AND DAVE
CHAPPELLE, I BELIEVE, SUSTAINED
ME DURING THIS PERIOD, AND MY

931
00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:21,898
CHAPPELLE, I BELIEVE, SUSTAINED
ME DURING THIS PERIOD, AND MY
FAMILY.

932
00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,333
ME DURING THIS PERIOD, AND MY
FAMILY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

933
00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:25,402
FAMILY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MY FAMILY AND MY SON IS HERE

934
00:33:25,404 --> 00:33:25,936
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MY FAMILY AND MY SON IS HERE
WITH ME.

935
00:33:25,938 --> 00:33:28,972
MY FAMILY AND MY SON IS HERE
WITH ME.
MY DAUGHTER IS HOME BECAUSE SHE

936
00:33:28,974 --> 00:33:31,141
WITH ME.
MY DAUGHTER IS HOME BECAUSE SHE
JUST GOT HER FIFTH VACCINE.

937
00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:31,708
MY DAUGHTER IS HOME BECAUSE SHE
JUST GOT HER FIFTH VACCINE.
>> Stephen: WOW.

938
00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:33,777
JUST GOT HER FIFTH VACCINE.
>> Stephen: WOW.
WE ARE SO CAREFUL.

939
00:33:33,779 --> 00:33:34,077
>> Stephen: WOW.
WE ARE SO CAREFUL.
( LAUGHTER )

940
00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:34,878
WE ARE SO CAREFUL.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: BEFORE WE GO, I

941
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,046
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: BEFORE WE GO, I
JUST WANT TO LEAVE EVERYBODY

942
00:33:36,048 --> 00:33:37,581
>> Stephen: BEFORE WE GO, I
JUST WANT TO LEAVE EVERYBODY
WITH ONE THING.

943
00:33:37,583 --> 00:33:37,981
JUST WANT TO LEAVE EVERYBODY
WITH ONE THING.
>> WHAT'S THAT.

944
00:33:37,983 --> 00:33:38,815
WITH ONE THING.
>> WHAT'S THAT.
>> Stephen: THAT IS, I HAVE

945
00:33:38,817 --> 00:33:43,787
>> WHAT'S THAT.
>> Stephen: THAT IS, I HAVE
BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE 17-YEAR

946
00:33:43,789 --> 00:33:44,021
>> Stephen: THAT IS, I HAVE
BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE 17-YEAR
CICADAS.

947
00:33:44,023 --> 00:33:44,688
BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE 17-YEAR
CICADAS.
DO YOU HAVE THEM WHERE YOU ARE?

948
00:33:44,690 --> 00:33:46,289
CICADAS.
DO YOU HAVE THEM WHERE YOU ARE?
>> I JUST ASSUMED THAT WAS SMOG

949
00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:47,491
DO YOU HAVE THEM WHERE YOU ARE?
>> I JUST ASSUMED THAT WAS SMOG
WITH GOD, THE PLAGUE, THE

950
00:33:47,493 --> 00:33:51,161
>> I JUST ASSUMED THAT WAS SMOG
WITH GOD, THE PLAGUE, THE
PANDEMIC AND THE I CICADAS.

951
00:33:51,163 --> 00:33:51,661
WITH GOD, THE PLAGUE, THE
PANDEMIC AND THE I CICADAS.
>> Stephen: I HAVE BEEN

952
00:33:51,663 --> 00:33:52,829
PANDEMIC AND THE I CICADAS.
>> Stephen: I HAVE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT YOU 17 YEARS AGO

953
00:33:52,831 --> 00:33:54,097
>> Stephen: I HAVE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT YOU 17 YEARS AGO
AND HAVING YOU ON.

954
00:33:54,099 --> 00:33:55,732
THINKING ABOUT YOU 17 YEARS AGO
AND HAVING YOU ON.
I HAD OUR PRODUCERS PULL A SHOT

955
00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:58,602
AND HAVING YOU ON.
I HAD OUR PRODUCERS PULL A SHOT
OF YOU AND ME 17 YEARS AGO.

956
00:33:58,604 --> 00:33:58,969
I HAD OUR PRODUCERS PULL A SHOT
OF YOU AND ME 17 YEARS AGO.
>> OH, MY GOD.

957
00:33:58,971 --> 00:34:01,338
OF YOU AND ME 17 YEARS AGO.
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME THE

958
00:34:01,340 --> 00:34:02,472
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME THE
CICADAS WERE HERE, WE LOOKED

959
00:34:02,474 --> 00:34:09,112
>> Stephen: LAST TIME THE
CICADAS WERE HERE, WE LOOKED
LIKE THIS.

960
00:34:09,114 --> 00:34:11,148
CICADAS WERE HERE, WE LOOKED
LIKE THIS.
( APPLAUSE )

961
00:34:11,150 --> 00:34:12,115
LIKE THIS.
( APPLAUSE )
>> WAIT, IF I MAY, AND I JUST

962
00:34:12,117 --> 00:34:14,151
( APPLAUSE )
>> WAIT, IF I MAY, AND I JUST
WANT TO SAY THIS VERY QUICKLY,

963
00:34:14,153 --> 00:34:16,119
>> WAIT, IF I MAY, AND I JUST
WANT TO SAY THIS VERY QUICKLY,
TIME APPEARS TO HAVE RAVAGED ONE

964
00:34:16,121 --> 00:34:18,388
WANT TO SAY THIS VERY QUICKLY,
TIME APPEARS TO HAVE RAVAGED ONE
OF US UNEQUALLY.

965
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:20,023
TIME APPEARS TO HAVE RAVAGED ONE
OF US UNEQUALLY.
( LAUGHTER )

966
00:34:20,025 --> 00:34:21,892
OF US UNEQUALLY.
( LAUGHTER )
THERE IS A SAYING -- AND I SAY

967
00:34:21,894 --> 00:34:24,194
( LAUGHTER )
THERE IS A SAYING -- AND I SAY
THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT --

968
00:34:24,196 --> 00:34:26,363
THERE IS A SAYING -- AND I SAY
THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT --
>> Stephen: YES.

969
00:34:26,365 --> 00:34:28,131
THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT --
>> Stephen: YES.
THERE'S A SAYING BLACK DON'T

970
00:34:28,133 --> 00:34:32,069
>> Stephen: YES.
THERE'S A SAYING BLACK DON'T
CRACK, IMPLYING BLACK PEOPLE AGE

971
00:34:32,071 --> 00:34:33,737
THERE'S A SAYING BLACK DON'T
CRACK, IMPLYING BLACK PEOPLE AGE
VERY GRACEFULLY.

972
00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:36,039
CRACK, IMPLYING BLACK PEOPLE AGE
VERY GRACEFULLY.
JEWS AGE LIKE AVOCADO.

973
00:34:36,041 --> 00:34:38,141
VERY GRACEFULLY.
JEWS AGE LIKE AVOCADO.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU

974
00:34:38,143 --> 00:34:39,943
JEWS AGE LIKE AVOCADO.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU
EXPOSE A JEW TO AIR.

975
00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:41,144
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU
EXPOSE A JEW TO AIR.
( LAUGHTER )

976
00:34:41,146 --> 00:34:44,448
EXPOSE A JEW TO AIR.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: YOU OXIDIZE HIM.

977
00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:44,981
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: YOU OXIDIZE HIM.
RIGHT.

978
00:34:44,983 --> 00:34:46,216
>> Stephen: YOU OXIDIZE HIM.
RIGHT.
JUST A LITTLE BIT.

979
00:34:46,218 --> 00:34:49,653
RIGHT.
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
BUT YOU TAKE A KNIFE, SCRAPE IT

980
00:34:49,655 --> 00:34:50,587
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
BUT YOU TAKE A KNIFE, SCRAPE IT
OFF, AND I'M FINE.

981
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,022
BUT YOU TAKE A KNIFE, SCRAPE IT
OFF, AND I'M FINE.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK

982
00:34:52,024 --> 00:34:52,289
OFF, AND I'M FINE.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK
BEAUTIFUL.

983
00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:53,757
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK
BEAUTIFUL.
>> I LOVE YOU!

984
00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:54,458
BEAUTIFUL.
>> I LOVE YOU!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

985
00:34:54,460 --> 00:34:55,525
>> I LOVE YOU!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I LOVE YOU!

986
00:34:55,527 --> 00:34:58,195
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I LOVE YOU!
>> Stephen: PLEASE!

987
00:34:58,197 --> 00:34:59,963
I LOVE YOU!
>> Stephen: PLEASE!
JOHN STEWART, EVERYBODY!

988
00:34:59,965 --> 00:35:03,567
>> Stephen: PLEASE!
JOHN STEWART, EVERYBODY!
BACK WITH A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE

989
00:35:03,569 --> 00:35:04,968
JOHN STEWART, EVERYBODY!
BACK WITH A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE
BY JON BATISTE!

990
00:35:11,042 --> 00:35:15,178
♪♪♪

991
00:35:26,524 --> 00:35:29,192
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
AND NOW, PERFORMING "FREEDOM"
FROM HIS LATEST ALBUM, "WE ARE,"

992
00:35:29,194 --> 00:35:29,726
AND NOW, PERFORMING "FREEDOM"
FROM HIS LATEST ALBUM, "WE ARE,"
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JON

993
00:35:29,728 --> 00:35:31,828
FROM HIS LATEST ALBUM, "WE ARE,"
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JON
BATISTE.

994
00:35:31,830 --> 00:35:34,531
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JON
BATISTE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

995
00:35:34,533 --> 00:35:37,701
BATISTE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪

996
00:35:37,703 --> 00:35:42,372
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

997
00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:43,106
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY

998
00:35:43,108 --> 00:35:45,342
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY
JUST LIKE THIS

999
00:35:45,344 --> 00:35:45,775
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY
JUST LIKE THIS
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHY

1000
00:35:45,777 --> 00:35:46,143
JUST LIKE THIS
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHY
BUT I FEEL LIKE

1001
00:35:46,145 --> 00:35:50,147
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHY
BUT I FEEL LIKE
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)

1002
00:35:50,149 --> 00:35:51,715
BUT I FEEL LIKE
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK

1003
00:35:51,717 --> 00:35:53,717
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK
♪ AND I LET GO WITH SO MUCH

1004
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:57,988
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK
♪ AND I LET GO WITH SO MUCH
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)

1005
00:35:57,990 --> 00:35:58,688
♪ AND I LET GO WITH SO MUCH
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
♪ FREE TO LIVE

1006
00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:00,290
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
♪ FREE TO LIVE
(HOW I WANNA LIVE)

1007
00:36:00,292 --> 00:36:00,991
♪ FREE TO LIVE
(HOW I WANNA LIVE)
♪ I'M GON GET

1008
00:36:00,993 --> 00:36:02,125
(HOW I WANNA LIVE)
♪ I'M GON GET
(WHAT I'M GONNA GET)

1009
00:36:02,127 --> 00:36:02,626
♪ I'M GON GET
(WHAT I'M GONNA GET)
♪ 'CAUSE IT'S MY

1010
00:36:02,628 --> 00:36:05,295
(WHAT I'M GONNA GET)
♪ 'CAUSE IT'S MY
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)

1011
00:36:05,297 --> 00:36:06,129
♪ 'CAUSE IT'S MY
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
♪ ♪ ♪

1012
00:36:06,131 --> 00:36:07,831
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
♪ ♪ ♪
I LOVE HOW YOU TALK

1013
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:09,833
♪ ♪ ♪
I LOVE HOW YOU TALK
♪ YOU SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE

1014
00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:11,801
I LOVE HOW YOU TALK
♪ YOU SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE
THE WAY THAT YOU WALK

1015
00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:14,571
♪ YOU SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE
THE WAY THAT YOU WALK
♪ YOU CAN'T CONTAIN IT

1016
00:36:14,573 --> 00:36:16,139
THE WAY THAT YOU WALK
♪ YOU CAN'T CONTAIN IT
IS IT THE SHOES

1017
00:36:16,141 --> 00:36:17,908
♪ YOU CAN'T CONTAIN IT
IS IT THE SHOES
♪ JUMPED UP, KANGAROO

1018
00:36:17,910 --> 00:36:19,943
IS IT THE SHOES
♪ JUMPED UP, KANGAROO
WE'RE OVERDUE

1019
00:36:19,945 --> 00:36:21,311
♪ JUMPED UP, KANGAROO
WE'RE OVERDUE
♪ FOR A LITTLE MORE PRANCING

1020
00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:22,779
WE'RE OVERDUE
♪ FOR A LITTLE MORE PRANCING
♪ ♪ ♪

1021
00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:24,181
♪ FOR A LITTLE MORE PRANCING
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ NOW IT'S YOUR TIME

1022
00:36:24,183 --> 00:36:24,948
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ NOW IT'S YOUR TIME
(IT'S YOUR RIGHT)

1023
00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:25,815
♪ NOW IT'S YOUR TIME
(IT'S YOUR RIGHT)
♪ YOU CAN SHINE

1024
00:36:25,817 --> 00:36:26,917
(IT'S YOUR RIGHT)
♪ YOU CAN SHINE
(IT'S ALRIGHT)

1025
00:36:26,919 --> 00:36:28,218
♪ YOU CAN SHINE
(IT'S ALRIGHT)
♪ IF YOU DO

1026
00:36:28,220 --> 00:36:29,920
(IT'S ALRIGHT)
♪ IF YOU DO
I'MA DO TOO

1027
00:36:29,922 --> 00:36:32,389
♪ IF YOU DO
I'MA DO TOO
♪ ♪ ♪

1028
00:36:32,391 --> 00:36:33,089
I'MA DO TOO
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY

1029
00:36:33,091 --> 00:36:34,457
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY
JUST LIKE THIS

1030
00:36:34,459 --> 00:36:35,091
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY
JUST LIKE THIS
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHY

1031
00:36:35,093 --> 00:36:36,793
JUST LIKE THIS
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHY
BUT I FEEL LIKE

1032
00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:39,663
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHY
BUT I FEEL LIKE
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)

1033
00:36:39,665 --> 00:36:41,698
BUT I FEEL LIKE
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK

1034
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:43,200
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK
♪ AND I LET GO

1035
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:44,334
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK
♪ AND I LET GO
WITH SO MUCH

1036
00:36:44,336 --> 00:36:48,071
♪ AND I LET GO
WITH SO MUCH
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)

1037
00:36:48,073 --> 00:36:49,272
WITH SO MUCH
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
FREE TO LIVE

1038
00:36:49,274 --> 00:36:50,006
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
FREE TO LIVE
♪ (HOW I WANNA LIVE)

1039
00:36:50,008 --> 00:36:50,941
FREE TO LIVE
♪ (HOW I WANNA LIVE)
I'M GON GET

1040
00:36:50,943 --> 00:36:52,175
♪ (HOW I WANNA LIVE)
I'M GON GET
(WHAT I'M GONNA GET)

1041
00:36:52,177 --> 00:36:53,376
I'M GON GET
(WHAT I'M GONNA GET)
♪ 'CAUSE IT'S MY FREEDOM

1042
00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:55,245
(WHAT I'M GONNA GET)
♪ 'CAUSE IT'S MY FREEDOM
(FREEDOM)

1043
00:36:55,247 --> 00:36:55,979
♪ 'CAUSE IT'S MY FREEDOM
(FREEDOM)
♪ ♪ ♪

1044
00:36:55,981 --> 00:36:57,814
(FREEDOM)
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ THE REASON WE GET DOWN,

1045
00:36:57,816 --> 00:36:59,916
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ THE REASON WE GET DOWN,
IS TO GET BACK UP

1046
00:36:59,918 --> 00:37:01,918
♪ THE REASON WE GET DOWN,
IS TO GET BACK UP
♪ IF SOMEONE'S AROUND,

1047
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,154
IS TO GET BACK UP
♪ IF SOMEONE'S AROUND,
GO ON LET THEM LOOK

1048
00:37:04,156 --> 00:37:06,056
♪ IF SOMEONE'S AROUND,
GO ON LET THEM LOOK
♪ YOU CAN'T STAND STILL

1049
00:37:06,058 --> 00:37:08,425
GO ON LET THEM LOOK
♪ YOU CAN'T STAND STILL
THIS AIN'T NO DRILL

1050
00:37:08,427 --> 00:37:09,893
♪ YOU CAN'T STAND STILL
THIS AIN'T NO DRILL
♪ MORE THAN CHEAP THRILLS,

1051
00:37:09,895 --> 00:37:13,129
THIS AIN'T NO DRILL
♪ MORE THAN CHEAP THRILLS,
(FEELS LIKE MONEY MONEY MONEY)

1052
00:37:13,131 --> 00:37:13,396
♪ MORE THAN CHEAP THRILLS,
(FEELS LIKE MONEY MONEY MONEY)
♪ ♪ ♪

1053
00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:14,497
(FEELS LIKE MONEY MONEY MONEY)
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ NOW IT'S YOUR TIME

1054
00:37:14,499 --> 00:37:15,065
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ NOW IT'S YOUR TIME
(IT'S YOUR RIGHT)

1055
00:37:15,067 --> 00:37:15,865
♪ NOW IT'S YOUR TIME
(IT'S YOUR RIGHT)
♪ YOU CAN SHINE

1056
00:37:15,867 --> 00:37:17,000
(IT'S YOUR RIGHT)
♪ YOU CAN SHINE
(IT'S ALRIGHT)

1057
00:37:17,002 --> 00:37:18,068
♪ YOU CAN SHINE
(IT'S ALRIGHT)
♪ IF YOU DO

1058
00:37:18,070 --> 00:37:19,002
(IT'S ALRIGHT)
♪ IF YOU DO
I'MA DO TOO

1059
00:37:19,004 --> 00:37:22,973
♪ IF YOU DO
I'MA DO TOO
♪ ♪ ♪

1060
00:37:22,975 --> 00:37:23,940
I'MA DO TOO
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WHEN I LOOK UP TO THE

1061
00:37:23,942 --> 00:37:25,508
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WHEN I LOOK UP TO THE
STARS (STARS)

1062
00:37:25,510 --> 00:37:26,109
♪ 'CAUSE WHEN I LOOK UP TO THE
STARS (STARS)
♪ I KNOW EXACTLY WHO WE ARE

1063
00:37:26,111 --> 00:37:30,380
STARS (STARS)
♪ I KNOW EXACTLY WHO WE ARE
(OOH)

1064
00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,148
♪ I KNOW EXACTLY WHO WE ARE
(OOH)
♪ 'CAUSE THEN I SEE YOU SHININ'

1065
00:37:32,150 --> 00:37:33,049
(OOH)
♪ 'CAUSE THEN I SEE YOU SHININ'
YOU SHININ'

1066
00:37:33,051 --> 00:37:34,284
♪ 'CAUSE THEN I SEE YOU SHININ'
YOU SHININ'
♪ YOU SHININ' OH!

1067
00:37:34,286 --> 00:37:38,655
YOU SHININ'
♪ YOU SHININ' OH!
♪ ♪ ♪

1068
00:37:38,657 --> 00:37:39,522
♪ YOU SHININ' OH!
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ FREE TO BE!

1069
00:37:42,260 --> 00:38:09,586
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ (LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)
♪ ♪ ♪

1070
00:38:09,588 --> 00:38:16,993
♪ (LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ (LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)

1071
00:38:16,995 --> 00:38:19,462
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ (LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)
(LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)

1072
00:38:19,464 --> 00:38:22,999
♪ (LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)
(LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)
(LET ME SEE YOU SHAKE)

1073
00:38:23,001 --> 00:38:26,002
(LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)
(LET ME SEE YOU SHAKE)
♪ (CAN YOU MAKE IT BREAK?)

1074
00:38:26,004 --> 00:38:34,177
(LET ME SEE YOU SHAKE)
♪ (CAN YOU MAKE IT BREAK?)
♪ (LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)

1075
00:38:34,179 --> 00:38:34,644
♪ (CAN YOU MAKE IT BREAK?)
♪ (LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY

1076
00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:35,578
♪ (LET ME SEE YOU WOBBLE)
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY
JUST LIKE THIS

1077
00:38:35,580 --> 00:38:37,781
♪ WHEN I MOVE MY BODY
JUST LIKE THIS
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)

1078
00:38:37,783 --> 00:38:39,549
JUST LIKE THIS
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK

1079
00:38:39,551 --> 00:38:41,351
♪ FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK
♪ AND I LET GO WITH SO MUCH

1080
00:38:41,353 --> 00:38:47,757
I HEAR A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK
♪ AND I LET GO WITH SO MUCH
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)

1081
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:50,927
♪ AND I LET GO WITH SO MUCH
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
♪ ♪ ♪

1082
00:38:50,929 --> 00:38:56,166
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
♪ ♪ ♪
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)

1083
00:38:56,168 --> 00:39:03,373
♪ ♪ ♪
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
♪ ♪ ♪

1084
00:39:03,375 --> 00:39:19,522
FREEDOM (FREEDOM)
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

1085
00:39:33,471 --> 00:39:39,109
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

1086
00:39:39,111 --> 00:39:41,644
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

1087
00:39:41,646 --> 00:39:41,945
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

1088
00:39:41,947 --> 00:39:42,512
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

1089
00:39:42,514 --> 00:39:50,220
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪

1090
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:54,357
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

1091
00:39:54,359 --> 00:39:54,824
EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

1092
00:40:14,545 --> 00:40:20,016
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
THAT'S IT FOR A "LATE SHOW."

1093
00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:20,650
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
THAT'S IT FOR A "LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS

1094
00:40:20,652 --> 00:40:21,317
THAT'S IT FOR A "LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE DR SANJAY GUPTA AND RITA

1095
00:40:21,319 --> 00:40:21,618
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE DR SANJAY GUPTA AND RITA
MORENO.

1096
00:40:21,620 --> 00:40:24,854
WILL BE DR SANJAY GUPTA AND RITA
MORENO.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, GOODNIGHT.

1097
00:40:24,856 --> 00:40:27,257
MORENO.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, GOODNIGHT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

1098
00:40:27,259 --> 00:40:27,524
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, GOODNIGHT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪♪♪

1099
00:40:27,958 --> 00:40:29,492
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>
Captioned by
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>

1100
00:40:29,494 --> 00:40:31,795
Captioned by
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>
access.wgbh.org