1
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:08,607
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>
>> HYGIENE HABITS LIKE WEARING
FACE MASKS, SOCIAL DISTANCING

2
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:09,241
>> HYGIENE HABITS LIKE WEARING
FACE MASKS, SOCIAL DISTANCING
AND CONSTANT SANITIZING WAS NOT

3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:11,577
FACE MASKS, SOCIAL DISTANCING
AND CONSTANT SANITIZING WAS NOT
ONLY HELPING KEEP US SAFE FROM

4
00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:12,678
AND CONSTANT SANITIZING WAS NOT
ONLY HELPING KEEP US SAFE FROM
COVID-19 BUT EXPERTS SAY IT

5
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,879
ONLY HELPING KEEP US SAFE FROM
COVID-19 BUT EXPERTS SAY IT
PLAYED A PART IN DECREASING

6
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,214
COVID-19 BUT EXPERTS SAY IT
PLAYED A PART IN DECREASING
CASES OF THE COMMON COLD.

7
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:18,017
PLAYED A PART IN DECREASING
CASES OF THE COMMON COLD.
NOW THAT WE'RE EXPERIENCING MORE

8
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:21,854
CASES OF THE COMMON COLD.
NOW THAT WE'RE EXPERIENCING MORE
CROWDS AND ARE LESS CONSISTENTLY

9
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:24,757
NOW THAT WE'RE EXPERIENCING MORE
CROWDS AND ARE LESS CONSISTENTLY
WEARING MASKS, THE COMMON COLD

10
00:00:24,759 --> 00:00:25,124
CROWDS AND ARE LESS CONSISTENTLY
WEARING MASKS, THE COMMON COLD
IS BACK.

11
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:25,858
WEARING MASKS, THE COMMON COLD
IS BACK.
♪ WHOA, STARTING LAST YEAR IN

12
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,192
IS BACK.
♪ WHOA, STARTING LAST YEAR IN
THE SPRING

13
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,795
♪ WHOA, STARTING LAST YEAR IN
THE SPRING
♪ I CAUGHT MY GIRLFRIEND

14
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,131
THE SPRING
♪ I CAUGHT MY GIRLFRIEND
CHEATING

15
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,198
♪ I CAUGHT MY GIRLFRIEND
CHEATING
♪ SHE LEFT ME TO START A FLING

16
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:37,903
CHEATING
♪ SHE LEFT ME TO START A FLING
♪ WITH THAT GUY COVID-19

17
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,204
♪ SHE LEFT ME TO START A FLING
♪ WITH THAT GUY COVID-19
♪ NOW SHE'S GOT THAT NEW VACCINE

18
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,073
♪ WITH THAT GUY COVID-19
♪ NOW SHE'S GOT THAT NEW VACCINE
♪ AND SHE'S BACK OUT ON THE

19
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:41,874
♪ NOW SHE'S GOT THAT NEW VACCINE
♪ AND SHE'S BACK OUT ON THE
SCENE

20
00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,810
♪ AND SHE'S BACK OUT ON THE
SCENE
♪ WITH NO MASK TO STAND BETWEEN

21
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:45,344
SCENE
♪ WITH NO MASK TO STAND BETWEEN
♪ MAYBE WE CAN RECONVENE

22
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,614
♪ WITH NO MASK TO STAND BETWEEN
♪ MAYBE WE CAN RECONVENE
♪ I'LL MAKE HER SNEEZE

23
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:49,848
♪ MAYBE WE CAN RECONVENE
♪ I'LL MAKE HER SNEEZE
♪ JUST LIKE HOW HER AND I USED

24
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,183
♪ I'LL MAKE HER SNEEZE
♪ JUST LIKE HOW HER AND I USED
TO BE

25
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,419
♪ JUST LIKE HOW HER AND I USED
TO BE
♪ I'LL MAKE HER WHEEZE

26
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:54,086
TO BE
♪ I'LL MAKE HER WHEEZE
♪ GETTING BACK TOGETHER, HER AND

27
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:57,189
♪ I'LL MAKE HER WHEEZE
♪ GETTING BACK TOGETHER, HER AND
ME

28
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:57,856
♪ GETTING BACK TOGETHER, HER AND
ME
♪ SHE'LL BE FATIGUED

29
00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:00,993
ME
♪ SHE'LL BE FATIGUED
♪ WE WILL STAY IN BED ALL DAY

30
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:01,860
♪ SHE'LL BE FATIGUED
♪ WE WILL STAY IN BED ALL DAY
AND NIGHT

31
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,195
♪ WE WILL STAY IN BED ALL DAY
AND NIGHT
♪ I'M HER DISEASE

32
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,863
AND NIGHT
♪ I'M HER DISEASE
♪ CALL IN SICK AND WATCH THE

33
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:05,864
♪ I'M HER DISEASE
♪ CALL IN SICK AND WATCH THE
PRICE IS RIGHT

34
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,499
♪ CALL IN SICK AND WATCH THE
PRICE IS RIGHT
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD

35
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:08,667
PRICE IS RIGHT
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD
♪ I'VE RETURNED

36
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:09,201
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD
♪ I'VE RETURNED
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD

37
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:09,868
♪ I'VE RETURNED
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD
♪ I'M HER GERM

38
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,371
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD
♪ I'M HER GERM
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD

39
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:13,872
♪ I'M HER GERM
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD
♪ GET HER BACK

40
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,207
♪ RETURN OF THE COLD
♪ GET HER BACK
♪ GOTTA GET HER IN THE SACK

41
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:20,679
♪ GET HER BACK
♪ GOTTA GET HER IN THE SACK
♪ LET'S BLOW ♪

42
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:21,213
♪ GOTTA GET HER IN THE SACK
♪ LET'S BLOW ♪
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE

43
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:24,716
♪ LET'S BLOW ♪
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."

44
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:25,851
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:

45
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:31,457
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:

46
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,192
TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
SAMANTHA POWER

47
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:33,859
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
SAMANTHA POWER
MAROON 5

48
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:37,396
SAMANTHA POWER
MAROON 5
SETH ROGEN

49
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:37,996
MAROON 5
SETH ROGEN
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY

50
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,867
SETH ROGEN
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.

51
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,869
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE

52
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:44,870
HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE

53
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:45,504
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S

54
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:51,210
ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!

55
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,879
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

56
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:56,882
STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

57
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:57,516
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

58
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,618
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT IS THE VERY LAST "LATE

59
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,953
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT IS THE VERY LAST "LATE
SHOW" IN QUARANTINE.

60
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:01,854
TONIGHT IS THE VERY LAST "LATE
SHOW" IN QUARANTINE.
ON MONDAY, I'LL BE BACK

61
00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,188
SHOW" IN QUARANTINE.
ON MONDAY, I'LL BE BACK
DOWNSTAIRS IN THE ED SULLIVAN

62
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,858
ON MONDAY, I'LL BE BACK
DOWNSTAIRS IN THE ED SULLIVAN
THEATER FOR "THE LATE SHOW."

63
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:07,159
DOWNSTAIRS IN THE ED SULLIVAN
THEATER FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
IT WILL BE MY FIRST TIME IN

64
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:09,128
THEATER FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
IT WILL BE MY FIRST TIME IN
FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE IN

65
00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:09,862
IT WILL BE MY FIRST TIME IN
FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE IN
460 DAYS.

66
00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:11,563
FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE IN
460 DAYS.
GOSH, I HOPE I STILL REMEMBER

67
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,866
460 DAYS.
GOSH, I HOPE I STILL REMEMBER
HOW TO FEEL VALIDATED BY A

68
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:17,870
GOSH, I HOPE I STILL REMEMBER
HOW TO FEEL VALIDATED BY A
CHEERING CROWD.

69
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:20,906
HOW TO FEEL VALIDATED BY A
CHEERING CROWD.
POINT IS, YOU MADE IT, AMERICA.

70
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:21,507
CHEERING CROWD.
POINT IS, YOU MADE IT, AMERICA.
AFTER 15 MONTHS OF QUARANTINE,

71
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,642
POINT IS, YOU MADE IT, AMERICA.
AFTER 15 MONTHS OF QUARANTINE,
LIKE CICADAS, WE'RE ALL

72
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,843
AFTER 15 MONTHS OF QUARANTINE,
LIKE CICADAS, WE'RE ALL
RE-EMERGING INTO THE SUN, AND

73
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:25,444
LIKE CICADAS, WE'RE ALL
RE-EMERGING INTO THE SUN, AND
WILL SPEND THE NEXT TWO WEEKS

74
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:26,044
RE-EMERGING INTO THE SUN, AND
WILL SPEND THE NEXT TWO WEEKS
MAKING WEIRD NOISES AND HAVING

75
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:29,248
WILL SPEND THE NEXT TWO WEEKS
MAKING WEIRD NOISES AND HAVING
SEX 'TIL WE DIE.

76
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:29,882
MAKING WEIRD NOISES AND HAVING
SEX 'TIL WE DIE.
I'M BEING FACT-CHECKED ON SOME

77
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:36,255
SEX 'TIL WE DIE.
I'M BEING FACT-CHECKED ON SOME
OF THAT.

78
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,756
I'M BEING FACT-CHECKED ON SOME
OF THAT.
BY MY PRODUCER AND WIFE RIGHT

79
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:38,056
OF THAT.
BY MY PRODUCER AND WIFE RIGHT
OVER THERE.

80
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,191
BY MY PRODUCER AND WIFE RIGHT
OVER THERE.
NOW, LEAVING THIS STORAGE ROOM

81
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,559
OVER THERE.
NOW, LEAVING THIS STORAGE ROOM
IS A LITTLE BITTERSWEET.

82
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,393
NOW, LEAVING THIS STORAGE ROOM
IS A LITTLE BITTERSWEET.
SWEET BECAUSE I GET TO LEAVE.

83
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,027
IS A LITTLE BITTERSWEET.
SWEET BECAUSE I GET TO LEAVE.
BITTER, BECAUSE AFTER TEN MONTHS

84
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,796
SWEET BECAUSE I GET TO LEAVE.
BITTER, BECAUSE AFTER TEN MONTHS
OF PURELLING, EVERYTHING TASTES

85
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:45,297
BITTER, BECAUSE AFTER TEN MONTHS
OF PURELLING, EVERYTHING TASTES
LIKE A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

86
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:45,931
OF PURELLING, EVERYTHING TASTES
LIKE A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
THERE ARE SOME THINGS I'LL MISS

87
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:49,234
LIKE A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
THERE ARE SOME THINGS I'LL MISS
ABOUT THIS STUDIO.

88
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:49,768
THERE ARE SOME THINGS I'LL MISS
ABOUT THIS STUDIO.
LIKE YOU, SILENCE.

89
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:50,402
ABOUT THIS STUDIO.
LIKE YOU, SILENCE.
GOT ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO

90
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:57,209
LIKE YOU, SILENCE.
GOT ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO
ME BEFORE I GO?

91
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,645
GOT ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO
ME BEFORE I GO?
WELL, I HATE YOU, TOO.

92
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:00,812
ME BEFORE I GO?
WELL, I HATE YOU, TOO.
PEOPLE ARE ALSO TRAVELING AGAIN.

93
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:01,880
WELL, I HATE YOU, TOO.
PEOPLE ARE ALSO TRAVELING AGAIN.
FOR INSTANCE, ONE SENIOR TOURIST

94
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:02,714
PEOPLE ARE ALSO TRAVELING AGAIN.
FOR INSTANCE, ONE SENIOR TOURIST
IS SEEING THE SIGHTS OF EUROPE.

95
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:03,315
FOR INSTANCE, ONE SENIOR TOURIST
IS SEEING THE SIGHTS OF EUROPE.
I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT

96
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,784
IS SEEING THE SIGHTS OF EUROPE.
I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT
JOE BIDEN.

97
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:06,318
I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT
JOE BIDEN.
HE WAS IN THE U.K. TODAY,

98
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,654
JOE BIDEN.
HE WAS IN THE U.K. TODAY,
MEETING BRITISH PRIME MINISTER

99
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:09,288
HE WAS IN THE U.K. TODAY,
MEETING BRITISH PRIME MINISTER
AND REAL BOY WHO WISHED TO BE A

100
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:12,324
MEETING BRITISH PRIME MINISTER
AND REAL BOY WHO WISHED TO BE A
SCARECROW, BORIS JOHNSON.

101
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,458
AND REAL BOY WHO WISHED TO BE A
SCARECROW, BORIS JOHNSON.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN AWKWARD,

102
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:14,026
SCARECROW, BORIS JOHNSON.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN AWKWARD,
CONSIDERING THAT, DURING THE

103
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:16,995
IT COULD HAVE BEEN AWKWARD,
CONSIDERING THAT, DURING THE
ELECTION, BIDEN CALLED JOHNSON A

104
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:17,863
CONSIDERING THAT, DURING THE
ELECTION, BIDEN CALLED JOHNSON A
"PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL CLONE"

105
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,131
ELECTION, BIDEN CALLED JOHNSON A
"PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL CLONE"
OF OUR LAST PRESIDENT.

106
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,499
"PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL CLONE"
OF OUR LAST PRESIDENT.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.

107
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:21,200
OF OUR LAST PRESIDENT.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
HE'S REALLY MORE OF A VESTIGIAL

108
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:25,137
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
HE'S REALLY MORE OF A VESTIGIAL
TWIN.

109
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:25,871
HE'S REALLY MORE OF A VESTIGIAL
TWIN.
BUT THE LEADERS GOT PAST IT AND

110
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,206
TWIN.
BUT THE LEADERS GOT PAST IT AND
ANNOUNCED WHAT IS BEING BILLED

111
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,341
BUT THE LEADERS GOT PAST IT AND
ANNOUNCED WHAT IS BEING BILLED
AS A RENEWAL OF THE ATLANTIC

112
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:29,808
ANNOUNCED WHAT IS BEING BILLED
AS A RENEWAL OF THE ATLANTIC
CHARTER.

113
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:30,442
AS A RENEWAL OF THE ATLANTIC
CHARTER.
AWW, THEY'RE RENEWING THEIR

114
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:30,909
CHARTER.
AWW, THEY'RE RENEWING THEIR
VOWS!

115
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,178
AWW, THEY'RE RENEWING THEIR
VOWS!
IT'S GOING TO BE A SMALL

116
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:33,879
VOWS!
IT'S GOING TO BE A SMALL
CEREMONY ON THE BEACHES OF

117
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,682
IT'S GOING TO BE A SMALL
CEREMONY ON THE BEACHES OF
NORMANDY, ONLY OUR CLOSEST

118
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,916
CEREMONY ON THE BEACHES OF
NORMANDY, ONLY OUR CLOSEST
ALLIES, PLEASE R.S.V.P. SOON,

119
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,184
NORMANDY, ONLY OUR CLOSEST
ALLIES, PLEASE R.S.V.P. SOON,
AND LET US KNOW WHETHER YOU WANT

120
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,853
ALLIES, PLEASE R.S.V.P. SOON,
AND LET US KNOW WHETHER YOU WANT
CHICKEN, FISH, OR THE LINGERING

121
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:45,090
AND LET US KNOW WHETHER YOU WANT
CHICKEN, FISH, OR THE LINGERING
RAVAGES OF COLONIALISM.

122
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:45,691
CHICKEN, FISH, OR THE LINGERING
RAVAGES OF COLONIALISM.
THE ORIGINAL ATLANTIC CHARTER

123
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:48,760
RAVAGES OF COLONIALISM.
THE ORIGINAL ATLANTIC CHARTER
WAS A DECLARATION OF POSTWAR

124
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:49,861
THE ORIGINAL ATLANTIC CHARTER
WAS A DECLARATION OF POSTWAR
COOPERATION THAT WAS SIGNED BY

125
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,196
WAS A DECLARATION OF POSTWAR
COOPERATION THAT WAS SIGNED BY
CHURCHILL AND F.D.R., AND THE

126
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:53,865
COOPERATION THAT WAS SIGNED BY
CHURCHILL AND F.D.R., AND THE
NEW VERSION STATES THAT THE

127
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,335
CHURCHILL AND F.D.R., AND THE
NEW VERSION STATES THAT THE
DEMOCRATIC MODEL IS "THE RIGHT

128
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,202
NEW VERSION STATES THAT THE
DEMOCRATIC MODEL IS "THE RIGHT
AND THE JUST AND THE BEST" ONE

129
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:57,869
DEMOCRATIC MODEL IS "THE RIGHT
AND THE JUST AND THE BEST" ONE
FOR CONFRONTING THE WORLD'S

130
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,172
AND THE JUST AND THE BEST" ONE
FOR CONFRONTING THE WORLD'S
CHALLENGES.

131
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:01,373
FOR CONFRONTING THE WORLD'S
CHALLENGES.
YES, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,

132
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:01,974
CHALLENGES.
YES, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
YOU NEED TO REMIND YOURSELF OF

133
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:05,043
YES, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
YOU NEED TO REMIND YOURSELF OF
THE THINGS THAT SEEM OBVIOUS:

134
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:05,877
YOU NEED TO REMIND YOURSELF OF
THE THINGS THAT SEEM OBVIOUS:
DEMOCRACY IS GOOD, PIZZA IS

135
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:09,181
THE THINGS THAT SEEM OBVIOUS:
DEMOCRACY IS GOOD, PIZZA IS
TASTY, AND "UPTOWN FUNK'S" GOING

136
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:13,385
DEMOCRACY IS GOOD, PIZZA IS
TASTY, AND "UPTOWN FUNK'S" GOING
TO GIVE IT YOU.

137
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:17,823
TASTY, AND "UPTOWN FUNK'S" GOING
TO GIVE IT YOU.
DON'T BELIEVE ME?

138
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,391
TO GIVE IT YOU.
DON'T BELIEVE ME?
THE TWO LEADERS GOT ALONG

139
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,193
DON'T BELIEVE ME?
THE TWO LEADERS GOT ALONG
FAMOUSLY, AND POINTED OUT

140
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:21,860
THE TWO LEADERS GOT ALONG
FAMOUSLY, AND POINTED OUT
SOMETHING THEY HAVE IN COMMON:

141
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,962
FAMOUSLY, AND POINTED OUT
SOMETHING THEY HAVE IN COMMON:
>> I TOLD THE PRIME MINISTER WE

142
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,163
SOMETHING THEY HAVE IN COMMON:
>> I TOLD THE PRIME MINISTER WE
HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.

143
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:25,864
>> I TOLD THE PRIME MINISTER WE
HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.
WE BOTH MARRIED WAY ABOVE OUR

144
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,199
HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.
WE BOTH MARRIED WAY ABOVE OUR
STATION.

145
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:29,868
WE BOTH MARRIED WAY ABOVE OUR
STATION.
>> I AM NOT GOING-- I'M NOT

146
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:33,205
STATION.
>> I AM NOT GOING-- I'M NOT
GOING TO DISSENT FROM THAT ONE.

147
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:33,872
>> I AM NOT GOING-- I'M NOT
GOING TO DISSENT FROM THAT ONE.
OR INDEED ON ANYTHING ELSE.

148
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:37,276
GOING TO DISSENT FROM THAT ONE.
OR INDEED ON ANYTHING ELSE.
I THINK IT HIGHLY LIKELY.

149
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:37,876
OR INDEED ON ANYTHING ELSE.
I THINK IT HIGHLY LIKELY.
>> Stephen: (AS BORIS JOHNSON)

150
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:38,477
I THINK IT HIGHLY LIKELY.
>> Stephen: (AS BORIS JOHNSON)
"I'M NOT GOING TO DISSENT FROM

151
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:38,810
>> Stephen: (AS BORIS JOHNSON)
"I'M NOT GOING TO DISSENT FROM
THAT ONE.

152
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:39,411
"I'M NOT GOING TO DISSENT FROM
THAT ONE.
MY WIFE, AND WOMEN IN GENERAL,

153
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,880
THAT ONE.
MY WIFE, AND WOMEN IN GENERAL,
FIND ME REPULSIVE.

154
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,983
MY WIFE, AND WOMEN IN GENERAL,
FIND ME REPULSIVE.
FEEL FREE TO INSULT ME MORE.

155
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:45,484
FIND ME REPULSIVE.
FEEL FREE TO INSULT ME MORE.
CALL ME A CHUNKY MONKEY.

156
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,718
FEEL FREE TO INSULT ME MORE.
CALL ME A CHUNKY MONKEY.
SAY I LOOK LIKE PIERS MORGAN'S

157
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,186
CALL ME A CHUNKY MONKEY.
SAY I LOOK LIKE PIERS MORGAN'S
CORPSE THAT WAS FISHED OUT OF

158
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,855
SAY I LOOK LIKE PIERS MORGAN'S
CORPSE THAT WAS FISHED OUT OF
THE THAMES.

159
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:50,522
CORPSE THAT WAS FISHED OUT OF
THE THAMES.
I NEED THIS TRADE DEAL!

160
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,223
THE THAMES.
I NEED THIS TRADE DEAL!
NO ONE IN THE E.U. WILL TALK TO

161
00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:53,025
I NEED THIS TRADE DEAL!
NO ONE IN THE E.U. WILL TALK TO
ME, AND I JUST FOUND OUT

162
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:53,859
NO ONE IN THE E.U. WILL TALK TO
ME, AND I JUST FOUND OUT
BRITAIN'S AN ISLAND.

163
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:57,863
ME, AND I JUST FOUND OUT
BRITAIN'S AN ISLAND.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

164
00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:01,867
BRITAIN'S AN ISLAND.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?"
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, BORIS?

165
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:02,901
WHAT WAS I THINKING?"
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, BORIS?
BIDEN'S BETTER HALF, DR. JILL

166
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,468
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, BORIS?
BIDEN'S BETTER HALF, DR. JILL
BIDEN, DID ACCOMPANY HIM TO

167
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,636
BIDEN'S BETTER HALF, DR. JILL
BIDEN, DID ACCOMPANY HIM TO
EUROPE.

168
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,437
BIDEN, DID ACCOMPANY HIM TO
EUROPE.
LAST NIGHT, THE FIRST LADY

169
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:06,038
EUROPE.
LAST NIGHT, THE FIRST LADY
ADDRESSED THE TROOPS AND THEIR

170
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:06,838
LAST NIGHT, THE FIRST LADY
ADDRESSED THE TROOPS AND THEIR
FAMILIES STATIONED AT A BRITISH

171
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,207
ADDRESSED THE TROOPS AND THEIR
FAMILIES STATIONED AT A BRITISH
AIR BASE, AND MADE IT CLEAR

172
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:09,875
FAMILIES STATIONED AT A BRITISH
AIR BASE, AND MADE IT CLEAR
WHO'S THE BOSS.

173
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:11,977
AIR BASE, AND MADE IT CLEAR
WHO'S THE BOSS.
>> JOE AND I ARE ALWAYS EXCITED

174
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,879
WHO'S THE BOSS.
>> JOE AND I ARE ALWAYS EXCITED
TO VISIT WITH OUR TROOPS AND

175
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:20,452
>> JOE AND I ARE ALWAYS EXCITED
TO VISIT WITH OUR TROOPS AND
THEIR FAMILIES.

176
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,019
TO VISIT WITH OUR TROOPS AND
THEIR FAMILIES.
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN SIT DOWN.

177
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:21,553
THEIR FAMILIES.
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN SIT DOWN.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO STAND

178
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:25,857
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN SIT DOWN.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO STAND
THROUGH--

179
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:35,901
I DON'T WANT YOU TO STAND
THROUGH--
[LAUGHTER]

180
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,903
THROUGH--
[LAUGHTER]
JOE, PAY ATTENTION.

181
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:41,173
[LAUGHTER]
JOE, PAY ATTENTION.
[LAUGHTER]

182
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:41,873
JOE, PAY ATTENTION.
[LAUGHTER]
OH, SO SHE IS A TEACHER.

183
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,242
[LAUGHTER]
OH, SO SHE IS A TEACHER.
THAT IS SO NICE.

184
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,177
OH, SO SHE IS A TEACHER.
THAT IS SO NICE.
IT'S REFRESHING THAT THE

185
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:45,877
THAT IS SO NICE.
IT'S REFRESHING THAT THE
FIRST COUPLE COMMUNICATES

186
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,613
IT'S REFRESHING THAT THE
FIRST COUPLE COMMUNICATES
WITH SOMETHING OTHER THAN A

187
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:49,715
FIRST COUPLE COMMUNICATES
WITH SOMETHING OTHER THAN A
HAND-SWAT.

188
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:50,248
WITH SOMETHING OTHER THAN A
HAND-SWAT.
THEN, IT WAS JOE'S TURN TO

189
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,216
HAND-SWAT.
THEN, IT WAS JOE'S TURN TO
ADDRESS THE TROOPS, AND HE

190
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,185
THEN, IT WAS JOE'S TURN TO
ADDRESS THE TROOPS, AND HE
PREVIEWED HIS ITINERARY:

191
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:53,885
ADDRESS THE TROOPS, AND HE
PREVIEWED HIS ITINERARY:
>> THIS IS MY FIRST OVERSEAS

192
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:57,222
PREVIEWED HIS ITINERARY:
>> THIS IS MY FIRST OVERSEAS
TRIP AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

193
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:57,856
>> THIS IS MY FIRST OVERSEAS
TRIP AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES.

194
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,660
TRIP AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES.
I AM HEADED TO THE G-7, AND THEN

195
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,294
STATES.
I AM HEADED TO THE G-7, AND THEN
TO THE NATO MINISTRIAL, AND THEN

196
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:03,228
I AM HEADED TO THE G-7, AND THEN
TO THE NATO MINISTRIAL, AND THEN
TO MEET WITH MR. PUTIN, TO LET

197
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,864
TO THE NATO MINISTRIAL, AND THEN
TO MEET WITH MR. PUTIN, TO LET
HIM KNOW WHAT I WANT HIM KNOW.

198
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:14,139
TO MEET WITH MR. PUTIN, TO LET
HIM KNOW WHAT I WANT HIM KNOW.
[APPLAUSE]

199
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,374
HIM KNOW WHAT I WANT HIM KNOW.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LOOK AT

200
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,743
[APPLAUSE]
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LOOK AT
THAT?

201
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:18,310
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LOOK AT
THAT?
TURNS OUT, THE TROOPS ENJOY

202
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:19,277
THAT?
TURNS OUT, THE TROOPS ENJOY
HAVING A COMMANDER IN CHIEF

203
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,011
TURNS OUT, THE TROOPS ENJOY
HAVING A COMMANDER IN CHIEF
WHO'S FIGHTING ON THEIR SIDE.

204
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,046
HAVING A COMMANDER IN CHIEF
WHO'S FIGHTING ON THEIR SIDE.
THE PRESIDENT SAID THE STAKES

205
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:21,480
WHO'S FIGHTING ON THEIR SIDE.
THE PRESIDENT SAID THE STAKES
COULD NOT BE HIGHER:

206
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:24,216
THE PRESIDENT SAID THE STAKES
COULD NOT BE HIGHER:
>> HERE'S WHY THIS ALL MATTERS

207
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:24,950
COULD NOT BE HIGHER:
>> HERE'S WHY THIS ALL MATTERS
SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

208
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:25,851
>> HERE'S WHY THIS ALL MATTERS
SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
I BELIEVE WE'RE IN AN INFLECTION

209
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,219
SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
I BELIEVE WE'RE IN AN INFLECTION
POINT IN WORLD HISTORY.

210
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,354
I BELIEVE WE'RE IN AN INFLECTION
POINT IN WORLD HISTORY.
WE HAVE TO DISCREDIT THOSE WHO

211
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:29,988
POINT IN WORLD HISTORY.
WE HAVE TO DISCREDIT THOSE WHO
BELIEVE THE AGE OF DEMOCRACY IS

212
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,290
WE HAVE TO DISCREDIT THOSE WHO
BELIEVE THE AGE OF DEMOCRACY IS
OVER.

213
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,225
BELIEVE THE AGE OF DEMOCRACY IS
OVER.
>> Stephen: I AGREE.

214
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:36,661
OVER.
>> Stephen: I AGREE.
SO STOP TRYING TO NEGOTIATE WITH

215
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:37,896
>> Stephen: I AGREE.
SO STOP TRYING TO NEGOTIATE WITH
THEM ON AN INFRASTRUCTURE BILL!

216
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,231
SO STOP TRYING TO NEGOTIATE WITH
THEM ON AN INFRASTRUCTURE BILL!
WHILE IN THE U.K., PRESIDENT

217
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:43,101
THEM ON AN INFRASTRUCTURE BILL!
WHILE IN THE U.K., PRESIDENT
BIDEN MADE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.

218
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,302
WHILE IN THE U.K., PRESIDENT
BIDEN MADE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.
>> TODAY WE ARE TAKING A MAJOR

219
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,203
BIDEN MADE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.
>> TODAY WE ARE TAKING A MAJOR
STEP THAT WILL SUPERCHARGE THE

220
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:45,871
>> TODAY WE ARE TAKING A MAJOR
STEP THAT WILL SUPERCHARGE THE
GLOBAL FIGHT AGAINST THIS

221
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,707
STEP THAT WILL SUPERCHARGE THE
GLOBAL FIGHT AGAINST THIS
PANDEMIC.

222
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:49,875
GLOBAL FIGHT AGAINST THIS
PANDEMIC.
THE UNITED STATES WILL PURCHASE

223
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:53,512
PANDEMIC.
THE UNITED STATES WILL PURCHASE
A HALF A BILLION DOSES OF

224
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,079
THE UNITED STATES WILL PURCHASE
A HALF A BILLION DOSES OF
PFIZER'S COVID-19 VACCINE TO

225
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,215
A HALF A BILLION DOSES OF
PFIZER'S COVID-19 VACCINE TO
DONATE TO NEARLY 100 NATIONS

226
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:57,883
PFIZER'S COVID-19 VACCINE TO
DONATE TO NEARLY 100 NATIONS
THAT ARE IN DIRE NEED IN THE

227
00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:00,252
DONATE TO NEARLY 100 NATIONS
THAT ARE IN DIRE NEED IN THE
FIGHT AGAINST THIS PANDEMIC.

228
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,586
THAT ARE IN DIRE NEED IN THE
FIGHT AGAINST THIS PANDEMIC.
>> Stephen: BIDEN JUST PROVED

229
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:01,887
FIGHT AGAINST THIS PANDEMIC.
>> Stephen: BIDEN JUST PROVED
HE'S IRISH.

230
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,221
>> Stephen: BIDEN JUST PROVED
HE'S IRISH.
HE'S ON VACATION, FEELIN' GOOD,

231
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,857
HE'S IRISH.
HE'S ON VACATION, FEELIN' GOOD,
BUYING EVERYBODY A ROUND OF

232
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,393
HE'S ON VACATION, FEELIN' GOOD,
BUYING EVERYBODY A ROUND OF
SHOTS!

233
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,227
BUYING EVERYBODY A ROUND OF
SHOTS!
SINCE THEY'RE BUYING IN BULK,

234
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:12,531
SHOTS!
SINCE THEY'RE BUYING IN BULK,
THE GOVERNMENT WILL PAY FOR THE

235
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,565
SINCE THEY'RE BUYING IN BULK,
THE GOVERNMENT WILL PAY FOR THE
DOSES AT A "NOT FOR PROFIT"

236
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:13,865
THE GOVERNMENT WILL PAY FOR THE
DOSES AT A "NOT FOR PROFIT"
PRICE.

237
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,233
DOSES AT A "NOT FOR PROFIT"
PRICE.
WHICH MEANS EVERY DOSE COMES

238
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,869
PRICE.
WHICH MEANS EVERY DOSE COMES
WITH A FREE "THIS AMERICAN SAVED

239
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,671
WHICH MEANS EVERY DOSE COMES
WITH A FREE "THIS AMERICAN SAVED
YOUR LIFE" TOTE BAG.

240
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:20,372
WITH A FREE "THIS AMERICAN SAVED
YOUR LIFE" TOTE BAG.
THE REST OF THE WORLD REALLY

241
00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:21,206
YOUR LIFE" TOTE BAG.
THE REST OF THE WORLD REALLY
NEEDS THAT VACCINE.

242
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,842
THE REST OF THE WORLD REALLY
NEEDS THAT VACCINE.
ESPECIALLY JAPAN.

243
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,877
NEEDS THAT VACCINE.
ESPECIALLY JAPAN.
WE ARE JUST OVER A MONTH AWAY

244
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:31,116
ESPECIALLY JAPAN.
WE ARE JUST OVER A MONTH AWAY
FROM THE TOKYO SUMMER OLYMPICS

245
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,083
WE ARE JUST OVER A MONTH AWAY
FROM THE TOKYO SUMMER OLYMPICS
AND I CANNOT WAIT TO HAVE A

246
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:32,951
FROM THE TOKYO SUMMER OLYMPICS
AND I CANNOT WAIT TO HAVE A
THE POLE VAULT.

247
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:33,452
AND I CANNOT WAIT TO HAVE A
THE POLE VAULT.
I'M TELLING YOU, ARMAND

248
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:34,653
THE POLE VAULT.
I'M TELLING YOU, ARMAND
DUPLANTIS FROM SWEDEN IS GOING

249
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,889
I'M TELLING YOU, ARMAND
DUPLANTIS FROM SWEDEN IS GOING
TO TAKE IT ALL!

250
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,091
DUPLANTIS FROM SWEDEN IS GOING
TO TAKE IT ALL!
GO MONDO!

251
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:43,094
TO TAKE IT ALL!
GO MONDO!
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

252
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,095
GO MONDO!
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
BUT THERE'S A SHADOW OVER THE

253
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,030
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
BUT THERE'S A SHADOW OVER THE
GAMES, BECAUSE TOKYO IS

254
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:45,564
BUT THERE'S A SHADOW OVER THE
GAMES, BECAUSE TOKYO IS
CURRENTLY UNDER A STATE OF

255
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:48,033
GAMES, BECAUSE TOKYO IS
CURRENTLY UNDER A STATE OF
EMERGENCY AS A RESULT OF

256
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,134
CURRENTLY UNDER A STATE OF
EMERGENCY AS A RESULT OF
INCREASED COVID CASES.

257
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:49,868
EMERGENCY AS A RESULT OF
INCREASED COVID CASES.
AND IT'S TOUGH TO KEEP

258
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,203
INCREASED COVID CASES.
AND IT'S TOUGH TO KEEP
TRANSMISSION DOWN DURING THE

259
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,872
AND IT'S TOUGH TO KEEP
TRANSMISSION DOWN DURING THE
OLYMPICS, UNLESS THEY INTRODUCE

260
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,041
TRANSMISSION DOWN DURING THE
OLYMPICS, UNLESS THEY INTRODUCE
SOCIALLY-DISTANCED ROWING.

261
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,209
OLYMPICS, UNLESS THEY INTRODUCE
SOCIALLY-DISTANCED ROWING.
TO KEEP THE ATHLETES HEALTHY,

262
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,478
SOCIALLY-DISTANCED ROWING.
TO KEEP THE ATHLETES HEALTHY,
THE TOKYO ORGANIZING COMMITTEE

263
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,812
TO KEEP THE ATHLETES HEALTHY,
THE TOKYO ORGANIZING COMMITTEE
IS CONSIDERING SOME NEW RULES,

264
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:01,880
THE TOKYO ORGANIZING COMMITTEE
IS CONSIDERING SOME NEW RULES,
INCLUDING A BAN ON ALCOHOL IN

265
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:05,884
IS CONSIDERING SOME NEW RULES,
INCLUDING A BAN ON ALCOHOL IN
THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE.

266
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:06,685
INCLUDING A BAN ON ALCOHOL IN
THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE.
NO ALCOHOL?

267
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:07,919
THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE.
NO ALCOHOL?
WHAT ARE THE OLYMPIANS EVEN

268
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:08,453
NO ALCOHOL?
WHAT ARE THE OLYMPIANS EVEN
GOING TO TALK ABOUT SOBER?

269
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,087
WHAT ARE THE OLYMPIANS EVEN
GOING TO TALK ABOUT SOBER?
(AS ATHLETE)

270
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:09,287
GOING TO TALK ABOUT SOBER?
(AS ATHLETE)
"SO...

271
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:09,821
(AS ATHLETE)
"SO...
UH...

272
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:10,889
"SO...
UH...
WHAT DO YOU DO?

273
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,291
UH...
WHAT DO YOU DO?
THROW A HEAVY BALL?

274
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:13,859
WHAT DO YOU DO?
THROW A HEAVY BALL?
THAT'S COOL.

275
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,227
THROW A HEAVY BALL?
THAT'S COOL.
THAT'S COOL.

276
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:17,863
THAT'S COOL.
THAT'S COOL.
I RUN REAL FAST WITH A STICK.

277
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:24,503
THAT'S COOL.
I RUN REAL FAST WITH A STICK.
MORE SNAPPLE?"

278
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,170
I RUN REAL FAST WITH A STICK.
MORE SNAPPLE?"
BUT OFFICIALS UNDERSTAND THERE

279
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:25,871
MORE SNAPPLE?"
BUT OFFICIALS UNDERSTAND THERE
MIGHT BE LIMITATIONS TO THE BAN,

280
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,205
BUT OFFICIALS UNDERSTAND THERE
MIGHT BE LIMITATIONS TO THE BAN,
SAYING, "IN THE CASE THAT THEY

281
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,407
MIGHT BE LIMITATIONS TO THE BAN,
SAYING, "IN THE CASE THAT THEY
WERE TO DRINK INSIDE THEIR OWN

282
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:29,975
SAYING, "IN THE CASE THAT THEY
WERE TO DRINK INSIDE THEIR OWN
ROOMS, CAN WE PROHIBIT THAT?

283
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,576
WERE TO DRINK INSIDE THEIR OWN
ROOMS, CAN WE PROHIBIT THAT?
THAT'S NOT CONCEIVABLE.

284
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,078
ROOMS, CAN WE PROHIBIT THAT?
THAT'S NOT CONCEIVABLE.
IT WOULD BE VERY DIFFICULT TO DO

285
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:33,245
THAT'S NOT CONCEIVABLE.
IT WOULD BE VERY DIFFICULT TO DO
SO."

286
00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:36,915
IT WOULD BE VERY DIFFICULT TO DO
SO."
SO, DON'T WORRY.

287
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:37,883
SO."
SO, DON'T WORRY.
THE OLYMPIC R.A. IS COOL.

288
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,217
SO, DON'T WORRY.
THE OLYMPIC R.A. IS COOL.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO PARTY IN YOUR

289
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,853
THE OLYMPIC R.A. IS COOL.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO PARTY IN YOUR
ROOM, JUST ROLL UP A GYMNAST AND

290
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,122
IF YOU'RE GOING TO PARTY IN YOUR
ROOM, JUST ROLL UP A GYMNAST AND
WEDGE HIM UNDER THE DOOR.

291
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,223
ROOM, JUST ROLL UP A GYMNAST AND
WEDGE HIM UNDER THE DOOR.
SPEAKING OF EPIC QUADRENNIAL

292
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:45,891
WEDGE HIM UNDER THE DOOR.
SPEAKING OF EPIC QUADRENNIAL
CONFLICTS, THE NEW YORK MAYORAL

293
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,360
SPEAKING OF EPIC QUADRENNIAL
CONFLICTS, THE NEW YORK MAYORAL
PRIMARY IS LESS THAN TWO WEEKS

294
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,861
CONFLICTS, THE NEW YORK MAYORAL
PRIMARY IS LESS THAN TWO WEEKS
AWAY, AND THERE'S A NEW

295
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,229
PRIMARY IS LESS THAN TWO WEEKS
AWAY, AND THERE'S A NEW
CONTROVERSY SURROUNDING THE

296
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,298
AWAY, AND THERE'S A NEW
CONTROVERSY SURROUNDING THE
FRONTRUNNER, BROOKLYN BOROUGH

297
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:53,899
CONTROVERSY SURROUNDING THE
FRONTRUNNER, BROOKLYN BOROUGH
PRESIDENT AND CARDBOARD CUTOUT

298
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,935
FRONTRUNNER, BROOKLYN BOROUGH
PRESIDENT AND CARDBOARD CUTOUT
BLOCKING TRAFFIC, ERIC ADAMS.

299
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:57,569
PRESIDENT AND CARDBOARD CUTOUT
BLOCKING TRAFFIC, ERIC ADAMS.
ADAMS IS FACING ALLEGATIONS THAT

300
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,237
BLOCKING TRAFFIC, ERIC ADAMS.
ADAMS IS FACING ALLEGATIONS THAT
HE MAY POSSIBLY LIVE IN NEW

301
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,339
ADAMS IS FACING ALLEGATIONS THAT
HE MAY POSSIBLY LIVE IN NEW
JERSEY.

302
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:01,873
HE MAY POSSIBLY LIVE IN NEW
JERSEY.
WELL, THAT'S NOT SO BAD.

303
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,208
JERSEY.
WELL, THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
GIULIANI WAS MAYOR OF NEW YORK,

304
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,877
WELL, THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
GIULIANI WAS MAYOR OF NEW YORK,
AND HE'S A FULL-TIME RESIDENT OF

305
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,212
GIULIANI WAS MAYOR OF NEW YORK,
AND HE'S A FULL-TIME RESIDENT OF
CRAZYTOWN.

306
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,180
AND HE'S A FULL-TIME RESIDENT OF
CRAZYTOWN.
ADAMS CLAIMS THAT HIS PRIMARY

307
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:09,881
CRAZYTOWN.
ADAMS CLAIMS THAT HIS PRIMARY
RESIDENCE IS IN THE

308
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,883
ADAMS CLAIMS THAT HIS PRIMARY
RESIDENCE IS IN THE
BEDFORD-STUYVESANT SECTION OF

309
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,018
RESIDENCE IS IN THE
BEDFORD-STUYVESANT SECTION OF
BROOKLYN,

310
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:13,852
BEDFORD-STUYVESANT SECTION OF
BROOKLYN,
BUT HE ALSO CO-OWNS A CO-OP IN

311
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,220
BROOKLYN,
BUT HE ALSO CO-OWNS A CO-OP IN
FORT LEE, NEW JERSEY.

312
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,855
BUT HE ALSO CO-OWNS A CO-OP IN
FORT LEE, NEW JERSEY.
HE'S DOUBLE-DIPPING!

313
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:17,856
FORT LEE, NEW JERSEY.
HE'S DOUBLE-DIPPING!
YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL WHEN

314
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,224
HE'S DOUBLE-DIPPING!
YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL WHEN
YOU DIP INTO NEW JERSEY OR

315
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,226
YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL WHEN
YOU DIP INTO NEW JERSEY OR
YOU'LL EMERGE SOAKED IN GAS

316
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:21,860
YOU DIP INTO NEW JERSEY OR
YOU'LL EMERGE SOAKED IN GAS
STATION COLOGNE.

317
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,296
YOU'LL EMERGE SOAKED IN GAS
STATION COLOGNE.
SO, HE MIGHT LIVE IN BED-STUY,

318
00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:25,864
STATION COLOGNE.
SO, HE MIGHT LIVE IN BED-STUY,
OR HE MIGHT LIVE IN NEW JERSEY.

319
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,232
SO, HE MIGHT LIVE IN BED-STUY,
OR HE MIGHT LIVE IN NEW JERSEY.
OR NEITHER.

320
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,868
OR HE MIGHT LIVE IN NEW JERSEY.
OR NEITHER.
BECAUSE, TO MAKE MATTERS

321
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,103
OR NEITHER.
BECAUSE, TO MAKE MATTERS
WEIRDER, ADAMS ALSO MOVED INTO

322
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,204
BECAUSE, TO MAKE MATTERS
WEIRDER, ADAMS ALSO MOVED INTO
BROOKLYN BOROUGH HALL FOR A TIME

323
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:33,872
WEIRDER, ADAMS ALSO MOVED INTO
BROOKLYN BOROUGH HALL FOR A TIME
AFTER THE PANDEMIC HIT.

324
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:36,975
BROOKLYN BOROUGH HALL FOR A TIME
AFTER THE PANDEMIC HIT.
YES, WHILE THE REST OF US WERE

325
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:37,909
AFTER THE PANDEMIC HIT.
YES, WHILE THE REST OF US WERE
WORKING FROM HOME, ERIC ADAMS

326
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,046
YES, WHILE THE REST OF US WERE
WORKING FROM HOME, ERIC ADAMS
WAS HOMING FROM WORK.

327
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:41,880
WORKING FROM HOME, ERIC ADAMS
WAS HOMING FROM WORK.
NOW TO CLEAR UP THE CONFUSION,

328
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,949
WAS HOMING FROM WORK.
NOW TO CLEAR UP THE CONFUSION,
ADAMS INVITED REPORTERS FOR A

329
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,216
NOW TO CLEAR UP THE CONFUSION,
ADAMS INVITED REPORTERS FOR A
TOUR OF HIS BED-STUY APARTMENT,

330
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:45,850
ADAMS INVITED REPORTERS FOR A
TOUR OF HIS BED-STUY APARTMENT,
POINTING OUT THE "SMALL, MODEST

331
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,752
TOUR OF HIS BED-STUY APARTMENT,
POINTING OUT THE "SMALL, MODEST
KITCHEN" AND "SMALL, MODEST

332
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,854
POINTING OUT THE "SMALL, MODEST
KITCHEN" AND "SMALL, MODEST
BATHROOM."

333
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,222
KITCHEN" AND "SMALL, MODEST
BATHROOM."
OKAY, BUSTED.

334
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,191
BATHROOM."
OKAY, BUSTED.
HE HAS A SMALL, MODEST KITCHEN

335
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:53,858
OKAY, BUSTED.
HE HAS A SMALL, MODEST KITCHEN
AND A SEPARATE SMALL, MODEST

336
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,828
HE HAS A SMALL, MODEST KITCHEN
AND A SEPARATE SMALL, MODEST
BATHROOM?

337
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,362
AND A SEPARATE SMALL, MODEST
BATHROOM?
REAL NEW YORKERS KNOW YOUR

338
00:09:57,364 --> 00:10:00,065
BATHROOM?
REAL NEW YORKERS KNOW YOUR
KITCHEN IS ALSO YOUR BATHROOM IS

339
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,866
REAL NEW YORKERS KNOW YOUR
KITCHEN IS ALSO YOUR BATHROOM IS
ALSO YOUR OFFICE IS ALSO YOUR

340
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,201
KITCHEN IS ALSO YOUR BATHROOM IS
ALSO YOUR OFFICE IS ALSO YOUR
ROOMMATE'S CRY SPACE.

341
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,770
ALSO YOUR OFFICE IS ALSO YOUR
ROOMMATE'S CRY SPACE.
THE TOUR ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE

342
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:06,638
ROOMMATE'S CRY SPACE.
THE TOUR ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE
FOR ADAMS, BECAUSE IT LED MANY

343
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,606
THE TOUR ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE
FOR ADAMS, BECAUSE IT LED MANY
TO SPECULATE THAT IT'S ACTUALLY

344
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,207
FOR ADAMS, BECAUSE IT LED MANY
TO SPECULATE THAT IT'S ACTUALLY
HIS SON WHO LIVES THERE.

345
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:09,874
TO SPECULATE THAT IT'S ACTUALLY
HIS SON WHO LIVES THERE.
FOR EXAMPLE, ADAMS IS A VEGAN,

346
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:12,777
HIS SON WHO LIVES THERE.
FOR EXAMPLE, ADAMS IS A VEGAN,
BUT THE TOWNHOUSE FRIDGE LOOKED

347
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:13,878
FOR EXAMPLE, ADAMS IS A VEGAN,
BUT THE TOWNHOUSE FRIDGE LOOKED
LIKE THIS--

348
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,213
BUT THE TOWNHOUSE FRIDGE LOOKED
LIKE THIS--
SALMON, GROUND MEAT, AND AN

349
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,115
LIKE THIS--
SALMON, GROUND MEAT, AND AN
EMPTY BRITA?

350
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:17,882
SALMON, GROUND MEAT, AND AN
EMPTY BRITA?
THAT IS NOT THE FRIDGE OF A

351
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,184
EMPTY BRITA?
THAT IS NOT THE FRIDGE OF A
VEGAN!

352
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,318
THAT IS NOT THE FRIDGE OF A
VEGAN!
IT'S ALSO NOT THE FRIDGE OF A

353
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,219
VEGAN!
IT'S ALSO NOT THE FRIDGE OF A
GROWN MAN.

354
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,622
IT'S ALSO NOT THE FRIDGE OF A
GROWN MAN.
LADIES, IF HE BRINGS YOU OVER

355
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,023
GROWN MAN.
LADIES, IF HE BRINGS YOU OVER
AND YOU SEE THIS, HE'S EITHER

356
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:25,857
LADIES, IF HE BRINGS YOU OVER
AND YOU SEE THIS, HE'S EITHER
ABOUT TO MURDER YOU OR MAKE YOU

357
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,258
AND YOU SEE THIS, HE'S EITHER
ABOUT TO MURDER YOU OR MAKE YOU
WATCH HIM PLAY VIDEO GAMES.

358
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,227
ABOUT TO MURDER YOU OR MAKE YOU
WATCH HIM PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
EITHER WAY, GET OUT OF THERE!

359
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:29,861
WATCH HIM PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
EITHER WAY, GET OUT OF THERE!
HERE'S WHERE THE WEIRDNESS GETS

360
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:33,231
EITHER WAY, GET OUT OF THERE!
HERE'S WHERE THE WEIRDNESS GETS
EVEN STRANGER.

361
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,501
HERE'S WHERE THE WEIRDNESS GETS
EVEN STRANGER.
A FEW YEARS AGO, ADAMS POSTED

362
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,902
EVEN STRANGER.
A FEW YEARS AGO, ADAMS POSTED
THIS PHOTO OF HIS BED-STUY

363
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,204
A FEW YEARS AGO, ADAMS POSTED
THIS PHOTO OF HIS BED-STUY
FRIDGE, WHICH LOOKS VERY

364
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,006
THIS PHOTO OF HIS BED-STUY
FRIDGE, WHICH LOOKS VERY
DIFFERENT FROM THE ONE REPORTERS

365
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:41,873
FRIDGE, WHICH LOOKS VERY
DIFFERENT FROM THE ONE REPORTERS
SAW YESTERDAY.

366
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,341
DIFFERENT FROM THE ONE REPORTERS
SAW YESTERDAY.
THE FRIDGE ON THE RIGHT LOOKS

367
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,409
SAW YESTERDAY.
THE FRIDGE ON THE RIGHT LOOKS
LIKE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE

368
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,343
THE FRIDGE ON THE RIGHT LOOKS
LIKE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE
FRIDGE ON THE LEFT LOSES

369
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,379
LIKE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE
FRIDGE ON THE LEFT LOSES
EVERYTHING AT THE HORSE TRACK.

370
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:48,580
FRIDGE ON THE LEFT LOSES
EVERYTHING AT THE HORSE TRACK.
AND THE WEIRD STRANGENESS GOT

371
00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:49,881
EVERYTHING AT THE HORSE TRACK.
AND THE WEIRD STRANGENESS GOT
EVEN ODDER WHEN HE BROUGHT

372
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,116
AND THE WEIRD STRANGENESS GOT
EVEN ODDER WHEN HE BROUGHT
REPORTERS INTO HIS BEDROOM,

373
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:51,683
EVEN ODDER WHEN HE BROUGHT
REPORTERS INTO HIS BEDROOM,
BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE QUICK TO

374
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,852
REPORTERS INTO HIS BEDROOM,
BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE QUICK TO
POINT OUT THAT THE SHOES IN

375
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:57,222
BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE QUICK TO
POINT OUT THAT THE SHOES IN
ADAMS' SUPPOSED BEDROOM LOOK

376
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:57,889
POINT OUT THAT THE SHOES IN
ADAMS' SUPPOSED BEDROOM LOOK
LIKE THEY BELONG TO HIS SON.

377
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,691
ADAMS' SUPPOSED BEDROOM LOOK
LIKE THEY BELONG TO HIS SON.
REMINDS ME OF THAT FAMOUS

378
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:00,992
LIKE THEY BELONG TO HIS SON.
REMINDS ME OF THAT FAMOUS
HEMINGWAY STORY: "FOR SALE.

379
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:01,860
REMINDS ME OF THAT FAMOUS
HEMINGWAY STORY: "FOR SALE.
BABY SHOES.

380
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,228
HEMINGWAY STORY: "FOR SALE.
BABY SHOES.
NEVER WORN.

381
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,296
BABY SHOES.
NEVER WORN.
ACTUALLY, WORN ONCE BY ERIC

382
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:05,930
NEVER WORN.
ACTUALLY, WORN ONCE BY ERIC
ADAMS, TO PROVE HE DOESN'T LIVE

383
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,967
ACTUALLY, WORN ONCE BY ERIC
ADAMS, TO PROVE HE DOESN'T LIVE
IN NEW JERSEY."

384
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:09,567
ADAMS, TO PROVE HE DOESN'T LIVE
IN NEW JERSEY."
WAIT, JIMMY, CAN WE GO BACK TO

385
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,703
IN NEW JERSEY."
WAIT, JIMMY, CAN WE GO BACK TO
THAT PHOTO OF ADAMS' SON?

386
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,838
WAIT, JIMMY, CAN WE GO BACK TO
THAT PHOTO OF ADAMS' SON?
ZOOM IN.

387
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,040
THAT PHOTO OF ADAMS' SON?
ZOOM IN.
FLIP IT!

388
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:15,640
ZOOM IN.
FLIP IT!
HE'S WEARING A "LATE SHOW WITH

389
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,876
FLIP IT!
HE'S WEARING A "LATE SHOW WITH
STEPHEN COLBERT" T-SHIRT!

390
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,978
HE'S WEARING A "LATE SHOW WITH
STEPHEN COLBERT" T-SHIRT!
WAIT A SECOND!

391
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,212
STEPHEN COLBERT" T-SHIRT!
WAIT A SECOND!
THAT'S OUR BELOVED FORMER INTERN

392
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:24,416
WAIT A SECOND!
THAT'S OUR BELOVED FORMER INTERN
JORDAN COLEMAN!

393
00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:25,617
THAT'S OUR BELOVED FORMER INTERN
JORDAN COLEMAN!
I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID!

394
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:26,217
JORDAN COLEMAN!
I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID!
ERIC ADAMS DEFINITELY LIVES IN

395
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,218
I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID!
ERIC ADAMS DEFINITELY LIVES IN
NEW YORK!

396
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,621
ERIC ADAMS DEFINITELY LIVES IN
NEW YORK!
BECAUSE IT IS FAMOUSLY A

397
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:30,255
NEW YORK!
BECAUSE IT IS FAMOUSLY A
REQUIREMENT THAT THE DADS OF ALL

398
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:33,224
BECAUSE IT IS FAMOUSLY A
REQUIREMENT THAT THE DADS OF ALL
"LATE SHOW" INTERNS MUST RESIDE

399
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:33,858
REQUIREMENT THAT THE DADS OF ALL
"LATE SHOW" INTERNS MUST RESIDE
WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS.

400
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,027
"LATE SHOW" INTERNS MUST RESIDE
WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS.
RIGHT, INTERNS?

401
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,862
WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS.
RIGHT, INTERNS?
WHERE DO YOUR DADS LIVE?

402
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,763
RIGHT, INTERNS?
WHERE DO YOUR DADS LIVE?
(CROSSTALK)

403
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:39,297
WHERE DO YOUR DADS LIVE?
(CROSSTALK)
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT!

404
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,433
(CROSSTALK)
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT!
NEW YORK CITY!

405
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:42,033
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT!
NEW YORK CITY!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

406
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,969
NEW YORK CITY!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

407
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:45,603
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
I'LL BE TALKING WITH U.S.A.I.D.

408
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:48,073
TONIGHT.
I'LL BE TALKING WITH U.S.A.I.D.
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER,

409
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,074
I'LL BE TALKING WITH U.S.A.I.D.
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER,
AND SETH ROGEN WILL BE TAKING

410
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:49,874
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER,
AND SETH ROGEN WILL BE TAKING
THE "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."

411
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,911
AND SETH ROGEN WILL BE TAKING
THE "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, THE VERY

412
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:53,878
THE "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, THE VERY
LAST QUARANTINE-WHILE.

413
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,546
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, THE VERY
LAST QUARANTINE-WHILE.
STICK AROUND.

414
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:07,492
♪
"A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN
COLBERT" SPONSORED BY LIBERTY

415
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:16,634
"A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN
COLBERT" SPONSORED BY LIBERTY
MUTUAL INS

416
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:25,276
COLBERT" SPONSORED BY LIBERTY
MUTUAL INS
♪

417
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:28,146
MUTUAL INS
♪
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND

418
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:28,847
♪
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND
STAY HUMAN.

419
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,048
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND
STAY HUMAN.
I'M NOT SURE I'M PHYSICALLY

420
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,182
STAY HUMAN.
I'M NOT SURE I'M PHYSICALLY
PREPARED FOR IT.

421
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,651
I'M NOT SURE I'M PHYSICALLY
PREPARED FOR IT.
I MIGHT HAVE TO WEAR SUNSCREEN

422
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:34,219
PREPARED FOR IT.
I MIGHT HAVE TO WEAR SUNSCREEN
SOME OF KIND.

423
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,054
I MIGHT HAVE TO WEAR SUNSCREEN
SOME OF KIND.
THEY'RE SO INCANDESCENT.

424
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:38,223
SOME OF KIND.
THEY'RE SO INCANDESCENT.
WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE!

425
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,692
THEY'RE SO INCANDESCENT.
WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE!
YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I SPEND MOST OF

426
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:44,662
WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE!
YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I SPEND MOST OF
MY TIME GUIDING THE DAY'S MOST

427
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:45,296
YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I SPEND MOST OF
MY TIME GUIDING THE DAY'S MOST
TOPICAL NEWS PATIENTS TO THE

428
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:45,964
MY TIME GUIDING THE DAY'S MOST
TOPICAL NEWS PATIENTS TO THE
CURRENT EVENTS COUCH, LISTENING

429
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:46,631
TOPICAL NEWS PATIENTS TO THE
CURRENT EVENTS COUCH, LISTENING
AS THEY UNSPOOL THEIR ISSUES TO

430
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,232
CURRENT EVENTS COUCH, LISTENING
AS THEY UNSPOOL THEIR ISSUES TO
ME, CREFULLY BUILDING UP TRUST

431
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:47,866
AS THEY UNSPOOL THEIR ISSUES TO
ME, CREFULLY BUILDING UP TRUST
AS WE EXPLORE THEIR DATA POINTS

432
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:48,666
ME, CREFULLY BUILDING UP TRUST
AS WE EXPLORE THEIR DATA POINTS
IN THE DELICATE BUT HEALTHY

433
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,300
AS WE EXPLORE THEIR DATA POINTS
IN THE DELICATE BUT HEALTHY
PSYCHOLOGIST-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP

434
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,369
IN THE DELICATE BUT HEALTHY
PSYCHOLOGIST-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

435
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,637
PSYCHOLOGIST-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS,

436
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,206
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS,
I WAKE UP IN THE FEDEX-KINKOS

437
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,741
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS,
I WAKE UP IN THE FEDEX-KINKOS
AFTER AN ALL-NIGHT BENDER

438
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:57,375
I WAKE UP IN THE FEDEX-KINKOS
AFTER AN ALL-NIGHT BENDER
SNIFFING THE EXPO MARKERS IN THE

439
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:58,643
AFTER AN ALL-NIGHT BENDER
SNIFFING THE EXPO MARKERS IN THE
WHITEBOARD AISLE, I USE THE

440
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,279
SNIFFING THE EXPO MARKERS IN THE
WHITEBOARD AISLE, I USE THE
MANAGER'S STOLEN COPIER CODE TO

441
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,081
WHITEBOARD AISLE, I USE THE
MANAGER'S STOLEN COPIER CODE TO
CREATE A FAKE DIPLOMA, AND BRIBE

442
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,315
MANAGER'S STOLEN COPIER CODE TO
CREATE A FAKE DIPLOMA, AND BRIBE
A SANITATION WORKER TO HELP ME

443
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:04,916
CREATE A FAKE DIPLOMA, AND BRIBE
A SANITATION WORKER TO HELP ME
HAUL A BEDBUG-RIDDEN SIDEWALK

444
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,018
A SANITATION WORKER TO HELP ME
HAUL A BEDBUG-RIDDEN SIDEWALK
COUCH INTO AN ABANDONED OFFICE,

445
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,287
HAUL A BEDBUG-RIDDEN SIDEWALK
COUCH INTO AN ABANDONED OFFICE,
WHERE I INVITE PEOPLE TO JABBER

446
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,655
COUCH INTO AN ABANDONED OFFICE,
WHERE I INVITE PEOPLE TO JABBER
ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS WHILE I

447
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,291
WHERE I INVITE PEOPLE TO JABBER
ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS WHILE I
THINK ABOUT MY SCREENPLAY, UNTIL

448
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,261
ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS WHILE I
THINK ABOUT MY SCREENPLAY, UNTIL
THEY ASK ME A DIRECT QUESTION,

449
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:16,828
THINK ABOUT MY SCREENPLAY, UNTIL
THEY ASK ME A DIRECT QUESTION,
WHICH I ANSWER USING A MAGIC

450
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,297
THEY ASK ME A DIRECT QUESTION,
WHICH I ANSWER USING A MAGIC
EIGHT BALL IN THE UNLICENSED,

451
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,299
WHICH I ANSWER USING A MAGIC
EIGHT BALL IN THE UNLICENSED,
AD HOC MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC OF

452
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,634
EIGHT BALL IN THE UNLICENSED,
AD HOC MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC OF
NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

453
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:28,640
AD HOC MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC OF
NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
>> "QUARANTINEWHILE!"

454
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:29,307
NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
>> "QUARANTINEWHILE!"
>> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE,

455
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,676
>> "QUARANTINEWHILE!"
>> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE,
AT THE CRACK OF 5:00 A.M. THIS

456
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,311
>> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE,
AT THE CRACK OF 5:00 A.M. THIS
MORNING, FOLKS IN THE NORTHERN

457
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,646
AT THE CRACK OF 5:00 A.M. THIS
MORNING, FOLKS IN THE NORTHERN
HEMISPHERE WERE TREATED TO

458
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:37,282
MORNING, FOLKS IN THE NORTHERN
HEMISPHERE WERE TREATED TO
THIS EPIC SHOW, COURTESY OF THE

459
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:38,383
HEMISPHERE WERE TREATED TO
THIS EPIC SHOW, COURTESY OF THE
SUN AND THE MOON IN A CELESTIAL

460
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,651
THIS EPIC SHOW, COURTESY OF THE
SUN AND THE MOON IN A CELESTIAL
PAS DE DEUX.

461
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,652
SUN AND THE MOON IN A CELESTIAL
PAS DE DEUX.
UNBELIEVABLE.

462
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:43,188
PAS DE DEUX.
UNBELIEVABLE.
A BEAUTIFUL AND HUMBLING

463
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,556
UNBELIEVABLE.
A BEAUTIFUL AND HUMBLING
REMINDER OF HOW SMALL WE ARE...

464
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:45,290
A BEAUTIFUL AND HUMBLING
REMINDER OF HOW SMALL WE ARE...
AND STILL NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME

465
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:49,294
REMINDER OF HOW SMALL WE ARE...
AND STILL NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME
WAKE UP AT 5:00 A.M.

466
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,995
AND STILL NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME
WAKE UP AT 5:00 A.M.
BUT THIS GUY IN NEW JERSEY DID:

467
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,630
WAKE UP AT 5:00 A.M.
BUT THIS GUY IN NEW JERSEY DID:
>> OHH, THAT IS FRIGGIN'

468
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:53,298
BUT THIS GUY IN NEW JERSEY DID:
>> OHH, THAT IS FRIGGIN'
AMAZING!

469
00:13:53,300 --> 00:14:00,839
>> OHH, THAT IS FRIGGIN'
AMAZING!
>> Stephen: SO FRIGGIN' TRUE.

470
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:01,472
AMAZING!
>> Stephen: SO FRIGGIN' TRUE.
IT WAS WHAT ASTRONOMERS REFER TO

471
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,642
>> Stephen: SO FRIGGIN' TRUE.
IT WAS WHAT ASTRONOMERS REFER TO
AS A "'RING OF FIRE' SOLAR

472
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,276
IT WAS WHAT ASTRONOMERS REFER TO
AS A "'RING OF FIRE' SOLAR
ECLIPSE."

473
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,746
AS A "'RING OF FIRE' SOLAR
ECLIPSE."
SO-CALLED, PRESUMABLY, BECAUSE

474
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:09,280
ECLIPSE."
SO-CALLED, PRESUMABLY, BECAUSE
THE SUN ATE TACO BELL.

475
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:12,684
SO-CALLED, PRESUMABLY, BECAUSE
THE SUN ATE TACO BELL.
FRIEND OF THE SHOW NEIL DEGRASSE

476
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:13,318
THE SUN ATE TACO BELL.
FRIEND OF THE SHOW NEIL DEGRASSE
TYSON WENT ON CNN TO WAX POETIC:

477
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,787
FRIEND OF THE SHOW NEIL DEGRASSE
TYSON WENT ON CNN TO WAX POETIC:
>> ALL OF THIS IS KIND OF A

478
00:14:15,789 --> 00:14:16,654
TYSON WENT ON CNN TO WAX POETIC:
>> ALL OF THIS IS KIND OF A
COSMIC BALLET CHOREOGRAPHED BY

479
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,257
>> ALL OF THIS IS KIND OF A
COSMIC BALLET CHOREOGRAPHED BY
THE FORCES OF GRAVITY.

480
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,725
COSMIC BALLET CHOREOGRAPHED BY
THE FORCES OF GRAVITY.
I THINK THE ECLIPSE IS ONE OF

481
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:21,359
THE FORCES OF GRAVITY.
I THINK THE ECLIPSE IS ONE OF
THE THINGS THAT CELEBRATE HUMAN

482
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,627
I THINK THE ECLIPSE IS ONE OF
THE THINGS THAT CELEBRATE HUMAN
CURIOSITY AND WHAT IT TOOK TO

483
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:25,196
THE THINGS THAT CELEBRATE HUMAN
CURIOSITY AND WHAT IT TOOK TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WHEN

484
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:25,496
CURIOSITY AND WHAT IT TOOK TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WHEN
YOU LOOK UP.

485
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,166
FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WHEN
YOU LOOK UP.
>> Stephen: OKAY SURE, NEIL.

486
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:28,733
YOU LOOK UP.
>> Stephen: OKAY SURE, NEIL.
OR, TO PUT THAT ANOTHER WAY:

487
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:29,300
>> Stephen: OKAY SURE, NEIL.
OR, TO PUT THAT ANOTHER WAY:
>> OHH, THAT IS FRIGGIN'

488
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:34,639
OR, TO PUT THAT ANOTHER WAY:
>> OHH, THAT IS FRIGGIN'
AMAZING!

489
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,474
>> OHH, THAT IS FRIGGIN'
AMAZING!
>> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE,

490
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,275
AMAZING!
>> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE,
ACCORDING TO A STORY PUBLISHED

491
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,143
>> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE,
ACCORDING TO A STORY PUBLISHED
BY THE A.P. THIS MORNING,

492
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,645
ACCORDING TO A STORY PUBLISHED
BY THE A.P. THIS MORNING,
"MILLIONS IN THE U.S. STRUGGLE

493
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:41,279
BY THE A.P. THIS MORNING,
"MILLIONS IN THE U.S. STRUGGLE
THROUGH LIFE WITH FEW TO TRUST."

494
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:44,449
"MILLIONS IN THE U.S. STRUGGLE
THROUGH LIFE WITH FEW TO TRUST."
WHAT THE HELL, A.P.?

495
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:45,283
THROUGH LIFE WITH FEW TO TRUST."
WHAT THE HELL, A.P.?
A HEADLINE LIKE THAT SHOULD COME

496
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,584
WHAT THE HELL, A.P.?
A HEADLINE LIKE THAT SHOULD COME
WITH A WARNING!

497
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,052
A HEADLINE LIKE THAT SHOULD COME
WITH A WARNING!
GOT ANY OTHER GEMS FROM THE

498
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,287
WITH A WARNING!
GOT ANY OTHER GEMS FROM THE
SMILE FILE?

499
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,922
GOT ANY OTHER GEMS FROM THE
SMILE FILE?
LIKE "YOU PROBABLY SEEM HAPPY,

500
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,624
SMILE FILE?
LIKE "YOU PROBABLY SEEM HAPPY,
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT

501
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:53,291
LIKE "YOU PROBABLY SEEM HAPPY,
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT
IT TOO MUCH," AND "WHY? BUT

502
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:58,630
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT
IT TOO MUCH," AND "WHY? BUT
LIKE, WHY, THOUGH?"

503
00:14:58,632 --> 00:15:01,099
IT TOO MUCH," AND "WHY? BUT
LIKE, WHY, THOUGH?"
THEY'RE REPORTING ON A POLL THAT

504
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:01,699
LIKE, WHY, THOUGH?"
THEY'RE REPORTING ON A POLL THAT
FOUND "18% OF U.S. ADULTS, OR

505
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,302
THEY'RE REPORTING ON A POLL THAT
FOUND "18% OF U.S. ADULTS, OR
ABOUT 46 MILLION PEOPLE, SAY

506
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:04,903
FOUND "18% OF U.S. ADULTS, OR
ABOUT 46 MILLION PEOPLE, SAY
THEY HAVE JUST ONE PERSON, OR

507
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,572
ABOUT 46 MILLION PEOPLE, SAY
THEY HAVE JUST ONE PERSON, OR
NOBODY, THEY CAN TRUST FOR HELP

508
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,940
THEY HAVE JUST ONE PERSON, OR
NOBODY, THEY CAN TRUST FOR HELP
IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES, SUCH AS

509
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:09,574
NOBODY, THEY CAN TRUST FOR HELP
IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES, SUCH AS
EMERGENCY CHILD CARE NEEDS, OR A

510
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,777
IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES, SUCH AS
EMERGENCY CHILD CARE NEEDS, OR A
RIDE TO THE AIRPORT."

511
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:13,278
EMERGENCY CHILD CARE NEEDS, OR A
RIDE TO THE AIRPORT."
WELL, HOLD ON.

512
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,414
RIDE TO THE AIRPORT."
WELL, HOLD ON.
NO ONE HAS A FRIEND WHO WANTS TO

513
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,048
WELL, HOLD ON.
NO ONE HAS A FRIEND WHO WANTS TO
GIVE THEM A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT.

514
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,917
NO ONE HAS A FRIEND WHO WANTS TO
GIVE THEM A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT.
THE ONLY REASON YOU PICK SOMEONE

515
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,451
GIVE THEM A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT.
THE ONLY REASON YOU PICK SOMEONE
UP AT THE AIRPORT IS BECAUSE

516
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,286
THE ONLY REASON YOU PICK SOMEONE
UP AT THE AIRPORT IS BECAUSE
THEY PICKED YOU UP ONCE.

517
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,654
UP AT THE AIRPORT IS BECAUSE
THEY PICKED YOU UP ONCE.
IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE THAT'S BEEN

518
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:25,290
THEY PICKED YOU UP ONCE.
IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE THAT'S BEEN
GOING ON SINCE WILBUR HAD TO

519
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,624
IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE THAT'S BEEN
GOING ON SINCE WILBUR HAD TO
PICK UP ORVILLE AT KITTYHAWK.

520
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:27,525
GOING ON SINCE WILBUR HAD TO
PICK UP ORVILLE AT KITTYHAWK.
(AS ORVILLE)

521
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:28,660
PICK UP ORVILLE AT KITTYHAWK.
(AS ORVILLE)
"DAMMIT, ORVILLE, NEXT TIME

522
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:32,764
(AS ORVILLE)
"DAMMIT, ORVILLE, NEXT TIME
WE'RE INVENTING UBER!"

523
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,331
"DAMMIT, ORVILLE, NEXT TIME
WE'RE INVENTING UBER!"
QUARANTINE-WHILE, AFTER

524
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,666
WE'RE INVENTING UBER!"
QUARANTINE-WHILE, AFTER
REVIEWING SATELLITE IMAGERY, WE

525
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:37,302
QUARANTINE-WHILE, AFTER
REVIEWING SATELLITE IMAGERY, WE
CAN CONFIRM: YES, THERE REALLY

526
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:40,672
REVIEWING SATELLITE IMAGERY, WE
CAN CONFIRM: YES, THERE REALLY
IS A SOFTBALL FIELD AT AREA 51.

527
00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:41,272
CAN CONFIRM: YES, THERE REALLY
IS A SOFTBALL FIELD AT AREA 51.
THAT'S ONE WAY TO KEEP ALIENS

528
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:41,940
IS A SOFTBALL FIELD AT AREA 51.
THAT'S ONE WAY TO KEEP ALIENS
AWAY FROM EARTH.

529
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:42,840
THAT'S ONE WAY TO KEEP ALIENS
AWAY FROM EARTH.
(AS ALIEN)

530
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,475
AWAY FROM EARTH.
(AS ALIEN)
"LET US ENJOY HUMAN

531
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:45,276
(AS ALIEN)
"LET US ENJOY HUMAN
ENTERTAINMENT.

532
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,544
"LET US ENJOY HUMAN
ENTERTAINMENT.
SO, THE PUDGY MAN WILL TRY TO

533
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:47,045
ENTERTAINMENT.
SO, THE PUDGY MAN WILL TRY TO
HIT THE SPHERE WITH THE

534
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,213
SO, THE PUDGY MAN WILL TRY TO
HIT THE SPHERE WITH THE
BRANCH...

535
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:49,547
HIT THE SPHERE WITH THE
BRANCH...
AND HE FAILED.

536
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:50,715
BRANCH...
AND HE FAILED.
NOW A DIFFERENT MAN WILL

537
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,650
AND HE FAILED.
NOW A DIFFERENT MAN WILL
ATTEMPT...

538
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,284
NOW A DIFFERENT MAN WILL
ATTEMPT...
MORE FAILURE.

539
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:57,288
ATTEMPT...
MORE FAILURE.
HOW MUCH LONGER DOES THIS GO ON?

540
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,656
MORE FAILURE.
HOW MUCH LONGER DOES THIS GO ON?
I WILL HAVE ONE OF YOUR MEAT

541
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,292
HOW MUCH LONGER DOES THIS GO ON?
I WILL HAVE ONE OF YOUR MEAT
TUBES FILLED WITH GROUND-UP

542
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:05,296
I WILL HAVE ONE OF YOUR MEAT
TUBES FILLED WITH GROUND-UP
ANIMAL LIPS AND PROBE HOLES."

543
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,333
TUBES FILLED WITH GROUND-UP
ANIMAL LIPS AND PROBE HOLES."
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN FASHION

544
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:09,300
ANIMAL LIPS AND PROBE HOLES."
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN FASHION
NEWS, KANYE WEST JUST DROPPED

545
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,668
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN FASHION
NEWS, KANYE WEST JUST DROPPED
HIS FIRST YEEZY ITEM WITH THE

546
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,570
NEWS, KANYE WEST JUST DROPPED
HIS FIRST YEEZY ITEM WITH THE
GAP.

547
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:13,304
HIS FIRST YEEZY ITEM WITH THE
GAP.
IT'S A POWDER-BLUE PUFFER MADE

548
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,605
GAP.
IT'S A POWDER-BLUE PUFFER MADE
FROM RECYCLED NYLON CALLED "THE

549
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,674
IT'S A POWDER-BLUE PUFFER MADE
FROM RECYCLED NYLON CALLED "THE
ROUND COAT."

550
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:17,308
FROM RECYCLED NYLON CALLED "THE
ROUND COAT."
COME ON.

551
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,778
ROUND COAT."
COME ON.
A WINTER COAT FROM YEEZY THAT

552
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:21,312
COME ON.
A WINTER COAT FROM YEEZY THAT
ISN'T CALLED THE "FREEZY?"

553
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,146
A WINTER COAT FROM YEEZY THAT
ISN'T CALLED THE "FREEZY?"
THAT'S A WASTED OPPORTUNITY.

554
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:22,747
ISN'T CALLED THE "FREEZY?"
THAT'S A WASTED OPPORTUNITY.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE KANYE MAKE

555
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:25,283
THAT'S A WASTED OPPORTUNITY.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE KANYE MAKE
THIS MISTAKE AGAIN, SO I'M

556
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:28,653
I DON'T WANT TO SEE KANYE MAKE
THIS MISTAKE AGAIN, SO I'M
GETTING AHEAD WITH OTHER PITCHES

557
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,255
THIS MISTAKE AGAIN, SO I'M
GETTING AHEAD WITH OTHER PITCHES
FOR YEEZY:

558
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:32,290
GETTING AHEAD WITH OTHER PITCHES
FOR YEEZY:
A FONDUE POT CALLED "CHEEZY,"

559
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,324
FOR YEEZY:
A FONDUE POT CALLED "CHEEZY,"
AN ASTHMA INHALER CALLED

560
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,659
A FONDUE POT CALLED "CHEEZY,"
AN ASTHMA INHALER CALLED
"WHEEZY,"

561
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,295
AN ASTHMA INHALER CALLED
"WHEEZY,"
AND THE CUSTOM URINAL CALLED

562
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,665
"WHEEZY,"
AND THE CUSTOM URINAL CALLED
"EASY PEEZY."

563
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,867
AND THE CUSTOM URINAL CALLED
"EASY PEEZY."
WHEN WE COME BACK, I GIVE THE

564
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:43,935
"EASY PEEZY."
WHEN WE COME BACK, I GIVE THE
"COLBERT QUESTIONERT" TO SETH

565
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,303
WHEN WE COME BACK, I GIVE THE
"COLBERT QUESTIONERT" TO SETH
ROGEN.

566
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:56,848
"COLBERT QUESTIONERT" TO SETH
ROGEN.
STICK AROUND.

567
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:57,148
ROGEN.
STICK AROUND.
♪

568
00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:00,318
STICK AROUND.
♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

569
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:00,952
♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
EARLIER THIS YEAR, I INTRODUCED

570
00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:03,788
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
EARLIER THIS YEAR, I INTRODUCED
A BRAND NEW SEGMENT CALLED THE

571
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,156
EARLIER THIS YEAR, I INTRODUCED
A BRAND NEW SEGMENT CALLED THE
"COLBERT QUESTIONERT," A SERIES

572
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,524
A BRAND NEW SEGMENT CALLED THE
"COLBERT QUESTIONERT," A SERIES
OF QUESTIONS WE SPECIFICALLY

573
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,127
"COLBERT QUESTIONERT," A SERIES
OF QUESTIONS WE SPECIFICALLY
DESIGNED TO PENETRATE DEEP INTO

574
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,561
OF QUESTIONS WE SPECIFICALLY
DESIGNED TO PENETRATE DEEP INTO
MY GUEST'S PSYCHE.

575
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:11,863
DESIGNED TO PENETRATE DEEP INTO
MY GUEST'S PSYCHE.
THERE IS ONE IMPORTANT QUESTION,

576
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:12,530
MY GUEST'S PSYCHE.
THERE IS ONE IMPORTANT QUESTION,
HOWEVER, THAT WE COULDN'T FIT

577
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,365
THERE IS ONE IMPORTANT QUESTION,
HOWEVER, THAT WE COULDN'T FIT
INTO THE "QUESTIONERT," AND

578
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,367
HOWEVER, THAT WE COULDN'T FIT
INTO THE "QUESTIONERT," AND
THAT WAS: "WILL SETH ROGEN EVER

579
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,135
INTO THE "QUESTIONERT," AND
THAT WAS: "WILL SETH ROGEN EVER
TAKE IT?"

580
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,503
THAT WAS: "WILL SETH ROGEN EVER
TAKE IT?"
WELL, THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE

581
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:21,139
TAKE IT?"
WELL, THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE
MIGHT SURPRISE YOU.

582
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,509
WELL, THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE
MIGHT SURPRISE YOU.
JIM?

583
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:28,012
MIGHT SURPRISE YOU.
JIM?
♪

584
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:28,946
JIM?
♪
HEY, EVERYBODY.

585
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:31,682
♪
HEY, EVERYBODY.
I'M HERE WITH MR. SETH ROGEN.

586
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,051
HEY, EVERYBODY.
I'M HERE WITH MR. SETH ROGEN.
SETH, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

587
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,219
I'M HERE WITH MR. SETH ROGEN.
SETH, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
ONE OF THE NICE THINGS IS, UM,

588
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,155
SETH, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
ONE OF THE NICE THINGS IS, UM,
ABOUT THIS JOB IS BEING ABLE TO

589
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,457
ONE OF THE NICE THINGS IS, UM,
ABOUT THIS JOB IS BEING ABLE TO
TALK TO WONDERFUL ARTISTS LIKE

590
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:42,527
ABOUT THIS JOB IS BEING ABLE TO
TALK TO WONDERFUL ARTISTS LIKE
SETH, NOT ONLY A COMEDIAN, A

591
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:43,694
TALK TO WONDERFUL ARTISTS LIKE
SETH, NOT ONLY A COMEDIAN, A
PRODUCER A POTTER, A

592
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,997
SETH, NOT ONLY A COMEDIAN, A
PRODUCER A POTTER, A
PHILANTHROPIST AND AN

593
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:46,898
PRODUCER A POTTER, A
PHILANTHROPIST AND AN
ENTREPRENEUR BUT THE PROBLEM IS

594
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,534
PHILANTHROPIST AND AN
ENTREPRENEUR BUT THE PROBLEM IS
WE ONLY GET TO TALK IN 10-MINUTE

595
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:50,735
ENTREPRENEUR BUT THE PROBLEM IS
WE ONLY GET TO TALK IN 10-MINUTE
TO 12-MINUTE SEGMENTS.

596
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,303
WE ONLY GET TO TALK IN 10-MINUTE
TO 12-MINUTE SEGMENTS.
IT'S HARD TO PENETRATE TO THE

597
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,504
TO 12-MINUTE SEGMENTS.
IT'S HARD TO PENETRATE TO THE
SOUL OF THE PERSON IN THAT TIME.

598
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:57,075
IT'S HARD TO PENETRATE TO THE
SOUL OF THE PERSON IN THAT TIME.
THE PERSON IN THE "LATE SHOW"

599
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,009
SOUL OF THE PERSON IN THAT TIME.
THE PERSON IN THE "LATE SHOW"
LABS DID IS CAME UP WITH A

600
00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,544
THE PERSON IN THE "LATE SHOW"
LABS DID IS CAME UP WITH A
SERIES OF 13?

601
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:00,511
LABS DID IS CAME UP WITH A
SERIES OF 13?
LET'S SAY 13 QUESTIONS.

602
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,713
SERIES OF 13?
LET'S SAY 13 QUESTIONS.
WE'LL COUNT LATER.

603
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:06,517
LET'S SAY 13 QUESTIONS.
WE'LL COUNT LATER.
13 QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN, UM,

604
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,120
WE'LL COUNT LATER.
13 QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN, UM,
ERGONOMICALLY DESIGNED TO

605
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:12,523
13 QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN, UM,
ERGONOMICALLY DESIGNED TO
PENETRATE THE ARMOR OF OUR OWN

606
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,791
ERGONOMICALLY DESIGNED TO
PENETRATE THE ARMOR OF OUR OWN
FEAR OF KNOWING EACH OTHER SO

607
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:17,161
PENETRATE THE ARMOR OF OUR OWN
FEAR OF KNOWING EACH OTHER SO
THAT ONCE THEY GO IN AND EXPLODE

608
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,430
FEAR OF KNOWING EACH OTHER SO
THAT ONCE THEY GO IN AND EXPLODE
IN YOUR PSYCHE, YOU'RE OPENED UP

609
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,164
THAT ONCE THEY GO IN AND EXPLODE
IN YOUR PSYCHE, YOU'RE OPENED UP
LIKE A BLOSSOM FOR THE AMERICAN

610
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,866
IN YOUR PSYCHE, YOU'RE OPENED UP
LIKE A BLOSSOM FOR THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE AND YOU ARE FULLY KNOWN.

611
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,234
LIKE A BLOSSOM FOR THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE AND YOU ARE FULLY KNOWN.
ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE FULLY

612
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,870
PEOPLE AND YOU ARE FULLY KNOWN.
ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE FULLY
KNOWN AT THE END OF THIS 13

613
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:26,137
ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE FULLY
KNOWN AT THE END OF THIS 13
QUESTIONS?

614
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:26,471
KNOWN AT THE END OF THIS 13
QUESTIONS?
>> Seth: I AM.

615
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:29,140
QUESTIONS?
>> Seth: I AM.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A

616
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:29,974
>> Seth: I AM.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A
LIQUID?

617
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:30,908
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A
LIQUID?
THIS COULD BE TIRING AND

618
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:31,209
LIQUID?
THIS COULD BE TIRING AND
DEHYDRATING.

619
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,111
THIS COULD BE TIRING AND
DEHYDRATING.
DO YOU HAVE A LIQUID THERE?

620
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:36,514
DEHYDRATING.
DO YOU HAVE A LIQUID THERE?
>> Seth: I DON'T BUT I'M OK.

621
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:37,815
DO YOU HAVE A LIQUID THERE?
>> Seth: I DON'T BUT I'M OK.
>> Stephen: OK, SETH ROGEN,

622
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:42,520
>> Seth: I DON'T BUT I'M OK.
>> Stephen: OK, SETH ROGEN,
FIRST QUESTION NUMBER ONE ON THE

623
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:43,121
>> Stephen: OK, SETH ROGEN,
FIRST QUESTION NUMBER ONE ON THE
COLBERT QUESTIONERT.

624
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,522
FIRST QUESTION NUMBER ONE ON THE
COLBERT QUESTIONERT.
WHAT'S THE BEST SANDWICH?

625
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,959
COLBERT QUESTIONERT.
WHAT'S THE BEST SANDWICH?
>> Seth: IS A HAMBURGER A

626
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:48,226
WHAT'S THE BEST SANDWICH?
>> Seth: IS A HAMBURGER A
SANDWICH?

627
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,094
>> Seth: IS A HAMBURGER A
SANDWICH?
>> Stephen: A HAMBURGER IS A

628
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:50,962
SANDWICH?
>> Stephen: A HAMBURGER IS A
SANDWICH.

629
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,730
>> Stephen: A HAMBURGER IS A
SANDWICH.
NO ONE EVER DOLLS A HAMBURGER

630
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:53,831
SANDWICH.
NO ONE EVER DOLLS A HAMBURGER
SANDWICH BUT IT IS A SANDWICH.

631
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,467
NO ONE EVER DOLLS A HAMBURGER
SANDWICH BUT IT IS A SANDWICH.
>> Seth: THEN A CHEESEBURGER

632
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:56,934
SANDWICH BUT IT IS A SANDWICH.
>> Seth: THEN A CHEESEBURGER
IS THE BETH SANDWICH.

633
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,870
>> Seth: THEN A CHEESEBURGER
IS THE BETH SANDWICH.
>> Stephen: WHILE I'VE GOT YOU

634
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:03,741
IS THE BETH SANDWICH.
>> Stephen: WHILE I'VE GOT YOU
HERE AND WHY WE'RE ON THE

635
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:04,375
>> Stephen: WHILE I'VE GOT YOU
HERE AND WHY WE'RE ON THE
SUBJECT, SETH, SIDE QUESTION, IS

636
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,042
HERE AND WHY WE'RE ON THE
SUBJECT, SETH, SIDE QUESTION, IS
A HOTDOG A SANDWICH?

637
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:05,943
SUBJECT, SETH, SIDE QUESTION, IS
A HOTDOG A SANDWICH?
>> Seth: NO.

638
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:06,811
A HOTDOG A SANDWICH?
>> Seth: NO.
>> Stephen: OK.

639
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,346
>> Seth: NO.
>> Stephen: OK.
WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU OWN YOU

640
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,847
>> Stephen: OK.
WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU OWN YOU
SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?

641
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:15,286
WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU OWN YOU
SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?
>> Seth: UM, OH MAN, UM, I

642
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,588
SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?
>> Seth: UM, OH MAN, UM, I
HAVE, UM, I'VE SO MUCH [BLEEP] I

643
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:18,556
>> Seth: UM, OH MAN, UM, I
HAVE, UM, I'VE SO MUCH [BLEEP] I
SHOULD THROW OUT.

644
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,159
HAVE, UM, I'VE SO MUCH [BLEEP] I
SHOULD THROW OUT.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO -- I

645
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,294
SHOULD THROW OUT.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO -- I
HAVE A GARAGE FULL OF EMPTY

646
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,428
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO -- I
HAVE A GARAGE FULL OF EMPTY
BOXES THAT I JUST DON'T NEED BUT

647
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:25,663
HAVE A GARAGE FULL OF EMPTY
BOXES THAT I JUST DON'T NEED BUT
I WON'T GET RID OF THEM FOR SOME

648
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,265
BOXES THAT I JUST DON'T NEED BUT
I WON'T GET RID OF THEM FOR SOME
REASON SO I WOULD SAY MY BOXES.

649
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,568
I WON'T GET RID OF THEM FOR SOME
REASON SO I WOULD SAY MY BOXES.
>> Stephen: OK.

650
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,502
REASON SO I WOULD SAY MY BOXES.
>> Stephen: OK.
SETH ROGEN, WHAT'S THE SCARIEST

651
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,137
>> Stephen: OK.
SETH ROGEN, WHAT'S THE SCARIEST
ANIMAL?

652
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,472
SETH ROGEN, WHAT'S THE SCARIEST
ANIMAL?
>> Seth: SCARIEST ANIMAL, THE

653
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,240
ANIMAL?
>> Seth: SCARIEST ANIMAL, THE
BEAR.

654
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:37,108
>> Seth: SCARIEST ANIMAL, THE
BEAR.
GRIZZLY BEAR, I THINK.

655
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:37,708
BEAR.
GRIZZLY BEAR, I THINK.
>> Stephen: THAT IS THE RIGHT

656
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,443
GRIZZLY BEAR, I THINK.
>> Stephen: THAT IS THE RIGHT
ANSWER.

657
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:42,213
>> Stephen: THAT IS THE RIGHT
ANSWER.
>> Seth: I KNOW A GUY THAT WAS

658
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:42,747
ANSWER.
>> Seth: I KNOW A GUY THAT WAS
MAULED BY A GRIZZLY BEAR?

659
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:44,115
>> Seth: I KNOW A GUY THAT WAS
MAULED BY A GRIZZLY BEAR?
>> Stephen: NO!

660
00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:45,149
MAULED BY A GRIZZLY BEAR?
>> Stephen: NO!
IS HE OK?

661
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:49,320
>> Stephen: NO!
IS HE OK?
>> Seth: HE IS OK BUT IT'S A

662
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:49,687
IS HE OK?
>> Seth: HE IS OK BUT IT'S A
HARROWING TALE.

663
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,855
>> Seth: HE IS OK BUT IT'S A
HARROWING TALE.
>> Stephen: I DON'T WANT TO

664
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,357
HARROWING TALE.
>> Stephen: I DON'T WANT TO
MAKE LIGHT OF IT BUT DOES HE

665
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,025
>> Stephen: I DON'T WANT TO
MAKE LIGHT OF IT BUT DOES HE
HAVE SCARS AND STUFF LIKE THAT?

666
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,060
MAKE LIGHT OF IT BUT DOES HE
HAVE SCARS AND STUFF LIKE THAT?
>> Seth: A LOT!

667
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,095
HAVE SCARS AND STUFF LIKE THAT?
>> Seth: A LOT!
IT'S A CRAZY STORY.

668
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,163
>> Seth: A LOT!
IT'S A CRAZY STORY.
IT'S INSANE.

669
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,065
IT'S A CRAZY STORY.
IT'S INSANE.
HE WAS ALMOST EATEN BY IT.

670
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,833
IT'S INSANE.
HE WAS ALMOST EATEN BY IT.
>> Stephen: WHERE DID THIS

671
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:03,067
HE WAS ALMOST EATEN BY IT.
>> Stephen: WHERE DID THIS
HAPPEN?

672
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,502
>> Stephen: WHERE DID THIS
HAPPEN?
>> Seth: NORTHERN BRITISH

673
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:04,769
HAPPEN?
>> Seth: NORTHERN BRITISH
COLUMBIA.

674
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:05,636
>> Seth: NORTHERN BRITISH
COLUMBIA.
>> Stephen: OF COURSE, YOU'RE

675
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:06,571
COLUMBIA.
>> Stephen: OF COURSE, YOU'RE
UP THERE.

676
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:07,405
>> Stephen: OF COURSE, YOU'RE
UP THERE.
YOU'RE LOUSY WITH BEARS UP

677
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:07,605
UP THERE.
YOU'RE LOUSY WITH BEARS UP
THERE.

678
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,775
YOU'RE LOUSY WITH BEARS UP
THERE.
I'M THINKING IN L.A. -- OK,

679
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:11,175
THERE.
I'M THINKING IN L.A. -- OK,
APPLES OR ORANGES?

680
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,944
I'M THINKING IN L.A. -- OK,
APPLES OR ORANGES?
>> Seth: APPLES.

681
00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:15,413
APPLES OR ORANGES?
>> Seth: APPLES.
>> Stephen: CORRECT ANSWER YOU

682
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,614
>> Seth: APPLES.
>> Stephen: CORRECT ANSWER YOU
CAN'T PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON AN

683
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:16,847
>> Stephen: CORRECT ANSWER YOU
CAN'T PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON AN
ORANGE.

684
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,350
CAN'T PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON AN
ORANGE.
>> Seth: THAT WOULD BE WEIRD.

685
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,152
ORANGE.
>> Seth: THAT WOULD BE WEIRD.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER

686
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:22,753
>> Seth: THAT WOULD BE WEIRD.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER
ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR

687
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:23,020
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER
ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR
AUTOGRAPH?

688
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,555
ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR
AUTOGRAPH?
>> Seth: YEAH.

689
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,058
AUTOGRAPH?
>> Seth: YEAH.
I THINK I HAVE.

690
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:27,558
>> Seth: YEAH.
I THINK I HAVE.
PAM DARBER'S AUTOGRAPH.

691
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,726
I THINK I HAVE.
PAM DARBER'S AUTOGRAPH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT BAD.

692
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,661
PAM DARBER'S AUTOGRAPH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT BAD.
>> Seth: I WAS AN EXTRA AS A

693
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,496
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT BAD.
>> Seth: I WAS AN EXTRA AS A
KID IN A MOVIE THAT SHE WAS IN

694
00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:34,232
>> Seth: I WAS AN EXTRA AS A
KID IN A MOVIE THAT SHE WAS IN
AND I GOT HER AUTOGRAPH.

695
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,199
KID IN A MOVIE THAT SHE WAS IN
AND I GOT HER AUTOGRAPH.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK

696
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:36,167
AND I GOT HER AUTOGRAPH.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?

697
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:38,703
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?
>> Seth: OH MAN, I DON'T KNOW.

698
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:39,537
HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?
>> Seth: OH MAN, I DON'T KNOW.
I HOPE WE -- SOMETHING WE DON'T

699
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:42,506
>> Seth: OH MAN, I DON'T KNOW.
I HOPE WE -- SOMETHING WE DON'T
UNDERSTAND, UM, WOULD BE GREAT.

700
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:45,409
I HOPE WE -- SOMETHING WE DON'T
UNDERSTAND, UM, WOULD BE GREAT.
UM,.

701
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:45,676
UNDERSTAND, UM, WOULD BE GREAT.
UM,.
[CHUCKLES]

702
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:48,145
UM,.
[CHUCKLES]
THAT'S WHAT I'M HOPING FOR.

703
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,580
[CHUCKLES]
THAT'S WHAT I'M HOPING FOR.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR

704
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,849
THAT'S WHAT I'M HOPING FOR.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR
FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE?

705
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,117
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR
FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE?
>> Seth: MY FAVORITE ACTION

706
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,719
FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE?
>> Seth: MY FAVORITE ACTION
MOVIE?

707
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:57,989
>> Seth: MY FAVORITE ACTION
MOVIE?
UM, PROBABLY "TERMINATOR 2."

708
00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:58,656
MOVIE?
UM, PROBABLY "TERMINATOR 2."
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

709
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,558
UM, PROBABLY "TERMINATOR 2."
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
>> Seth: YEAH.

710
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,360
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
>> Seth: YEAH.
>> Stephen: FAVORITE SMELL?

711
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:05,096
>> Seth: YEAH.
>> Stephen: FAVORITE SMELL?
>> Seth: UM, I LIKE THE SMELL

712
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:09,133
>> Stephen: FAVORITE SMELL?
>> Seth: UM, I LIKE THE SMELL
OF, UM, LIKE CINNAMON.

713
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:12,270
>> Seth: UM, I LIKE THE SMELL
OF, UM, LIKE CINNAMON.
>> Stephen: OK.

714
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:12,737
OF, UM, LIKE CINNAMON.
>> Stephen: OK.
LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?

715
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:16,574
>> Stephen: OK.
LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
>> Seth: UM, MY LEAST FAVORITE

716
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:17,141
LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
>> Seth: UM, MY LEAST FAVORITE
SMELL?

717
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,075
>> Seth: UM, MY LEAST FAVORITE
SMELL?
I DON'T LIKE THE SMELL OF

718
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:19,877
SMELL?
I DON'T LIKE THE SMELL OF
[BLEEP], YOU KNOW?

719
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:20,544
I DON'T LIKE THE SMELL OF
[BLEEP], YOU KNOW?
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

720
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:23,814
[BLEEP], YOU KNOW?
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
PUT IT OUT THERE, MAN.

721
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:24,382
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
PUT IT OUT THERE, MAN.
I DON'T CARE --

722
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:27,218
PUT IT OUT THERE, MAN.
I DON'T CARE --
>> Seth: IF YOU GOT [BLEEP],

723
00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:29,186
I DON'T CARE --
>> Seth: IF YOU GOT [BLEEP],
DON'T DO IT BY MY NOSE.

724
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:31,455
>> Seth: IF YOU GOT [BLEEP],
DON'T DO IT BY MY NOSE.
>> Stephen: NO JUDGMENT HERE,

725
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:31,656
DON'T DO IT BY MY NOSE.
>> Stephen: NO JUDGMENT HERE,
SETH.

726
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,057
>> Stephen: NO JUDGMENT HERE,
SETH.
>> Seth: IT'S A CONTROVERSIAL

727
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:33,991
SETH.
>> Seth: IT'S A CONTROVERSIAL
ANSWER.

728
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:36,560
>> Seth: IT'S A CONTROVERSIAL
ANSWER.
>> Stephen: EXERCISE?

729
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:37,328
ANSWER.
>> Stephen: EXERCISE?
EXERCISE, IS IT WORTH IT?

730
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:38,262
>> Stephen: EXERCISE?
EXERCISE, IS IT WORTH IT?
>> Seth: FOR SURE, YES.

731
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:39,363
EXERCISE, IS IT WORTH IT?
>> Seth: FOR SURE, YES.
YOU HAVE TO EXERCISE.

732
00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:41,098
>> Seth: FOR SURE, YES.
YOU HAVE TO EXERCISE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU DO IT

733
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:41,732
YOU HAVE TO EXERCISE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU DO IT
TODAY?

734
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,968
>> Stephen: DID YOU DO IT
TODAY?
>> Seth: I DID NOT EXERCISE

735
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:45,036
TODAY?
>> Seth: I DID NOT EXERCISE
TODAY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AWAKE

736
00:21:45,038 --> 00:21:47,938
>> Seth: I DID NOT EXERCISE
TODAY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AWAKE
SINCE 5:00 IN THE MORNING.

737
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:48,673
TODAY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AWAKE
SINCE 5:00 IN THE MORNING.
>> Stephen: OH WOW.

738
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:51,142
SINCE 5:00 IN THE MORNING.
>> Stephen: OH WOW.
THIS IS A SIDE QUESTION, IS THAT

739
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:51,709
>> Stephen: OH WOW.
THIS IS A SIDE QUESTION, IS THAT
A BATHROBE YOU'RE WEARING?

740
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:54,278
THIS IS A SIDE QUESTION, IS THAT
A BATHROBE YOU'RE WEARING?
>> Seth: NO, IT'S A CARDIGAN

741
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,513
A BATHROBE YOU'RE WEARING?
>> Seth: NO, IT'S A CARDIGAN
BUT I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD

742
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:56,480
>> Seth: NO, IT'S A CARDIGAN
BUT I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD
THINK THAT.

743
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,916
BUT I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD
THINK THAT.
FROM THE SHOULDERS UP, A

744
00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,551
THINK THAT.
FROM THE SHOULDERS UP, A
CARDIGAN IS A BATHROBE, YEAH.

745
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,220
FROM THE SHOULDERS UP, A
CARDIGAN IS A BATHROBE, YEAH.
>> Stephen: FLAT OR SPARKLING?

746
00:22:03,222 --> 00:22:04,655
CARDIGAN IS A BATHROBE, YEAH.
>> Stephen: FLAT OR SPARKLING?
>> Seth: SPARKLING.

747
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,424
>> Stephen: FLAT OR SPARKLING?
>> Seth: SPARKLING.
>> Stephen: YEAH!

748
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:08,092
>> Seth: SPARKLING.
>> Stephen: YEAH!
MOST-USED APP ON YOUR PHONE?

749
00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:12,563
>> Stephen: YEAH!
MOST-USED APP ON YOUR PHONE?
>> Seth: UM, I MEAN, UM, I

750
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:13,331
MOST-USED APP ON YOUR PHONE?
>> Seth: UM, I MEAN, UM, I
LISTEN -- PROBABLY THE MUSIC,

751
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,434
>> Seth: UM, I MEAN, UM, I
LISTEN -- PROBABLY THE MUSIC,
YOU KNOW, UM, THE MUSIC APP

752
00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:16,734
LISTEN -- PROBABLY THE MUSIC,
YOU KNOW, UM, THE MUSIC APP
ITUNES.

753
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:17,468
YOU KNOW, UM, THE MUSIC APP
ITUNES.
iTUNES IS PROBABLY MY

754
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:17,735
ITUNES.
iTUNES IS PROBABLY MY
FAVORITE.

755
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:18,936
iTUNES IS PROBABLY MY
FAVORITE.
>> Stephen: DO WE CONSIDER

756
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,371
FAVORITE.
>> Stephen: DO WE CONSIDER
THAT AN APP?

757
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:20,638
>> Stephen: DO WE CONSIDER
THAT AN APP?
NO.

758
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,639
THAT AN APP?
NO.
THAT IS A FEATURE.

759
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,007
NO.
THAT IS A FEATURE.
THAT IS A FEATURE.

760
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:26,043
THAT IS A FEATURE.
THAT IS A FEATURE.
>> Seth: THAT'S A FEATURE.

761
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:28,913
THAT IS A FEATURE.
>> Seth: THAT'S A FEATURE.
>> Seth: NOT AN APP --

762
00:22:28,915 --> 00:22:30,247
>> Seth: THAT'S A FEATURE.
>> Seth: NOT AN APP --
>> Stephen: NOT AN APP.

763
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:32,316
>> Seth: NOT AN APP --
>> Stephen: NOT AN APP.
>> Seth: PROBABLY INSTAGRAM OR

764
00:22:32,318 --> 00:22:32,550
>> Stephen: NOT AN APP.
>> Seth: PROBABLY INSTAGRAM OR
TWITTER.

765
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:33,718
>> Seth: PROBABLY INSTAGRAM OR
TWITTER.
>> Stephen: YOU GET ONE SONG

766
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,087
TWITTER.
>> Stephen: YOU GET ONE SONG
TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF

767
00:22:36,089 --> 00:22:36,554
>> Stephen: YOU GET ONE SONG
TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE.

768
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:37,288
TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE.
WHAT IS IT?

769
00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:38,522
YOUR LIFE.
WHAT IS IT?
>> Seth: WOW, UM, I THINK IT

770
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:49,133
WHAT IS IT?
>> Seth: WOW, UM, I THINK IT
IS STEVE BILLCO BY A TRIBE

771
00:22:49,135 --> 00:22:49,467
>> Seth: WOW, UM, I THINK IT
IS STEVE BILLCO BY A TRIBE
CALLED QUEST.

772
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:51,569
IS STEVE BILLCO BY A TRIBE
CALLED QUEST.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT FAMILIAR

773
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:51,902
CALLED QUEST.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT FAMILIAR
WITH THAT ONE.

774
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:53,604
>> Stephen: I'M NOT FAMILIAR
WITH THAT ONE.
>> Seth: IT'S A GOOD ONE.

775
00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:54,538
WITH THAT ONE.
>> Seth: IT'S A GOOD ONE.
YOU NEVER GET SICK OF IT.

776
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,074
>> Seth: IT'S A GOOD ONE.
YOU NEVER GET SICK OF IT.
>> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I

777
00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:57,375
YOU NEVER GET SICK OF IT.
>> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I
THINKING OF?

778
00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,710
>> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I
THINKING OF?
>> Seth: 47.

779
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:00,544
THINKING OF?
>> Seth: 47.
>> Stephen: NO.

780
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:01,145
>> Seth: 47.
>> Stephen: NO.
>> Seth: OK.

781
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:02,747
>> Stephen: NO.
>> Seth: OK.
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST

782
00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:04,615
>> Seth: OK.
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

783
00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:13,924
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> Seth: UM, I HOPE IT'S GOOD,

784
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:17,128
OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> Seth: UM, I HOPE IT'S GOOD,
YEAH.

785
00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:20,564
>> Seth: UM, I HOPE IT'S GOOD,
YEAH.
[LAUGHTER]

786
00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:21,832
YEAH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Stephen: VERY ECONOMICAL.

787
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,100
[LAUGHTER]
>> Stephen: VERY ECONOMICAL.
YOU HAD ONE LEFT OVER.

788
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:24,568
>> Stephen: VERY ECONOMICAL.
YOU HAD ONE LEFT OVER.
YOU COULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING.

789
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:31,342
YOU HAD ONE LEFT OVER.
YOU COULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING.
I HOPE IT'S GOOD... FALLAFEL.

790
00:23:31,344 --> 00:23:33,244
YOU COULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING.
I HOPE IT'S GOOD... FALLAFEL.
I HOPE IT'S GOOD... PULL TAB.

791
00:23:33,246 --> 00:23:35,179
I HOPE IT'S GOOD... FALLAFEL.
I HOPE IT'S GOOD... PULL TAB.
>> Seth: I SHOULD HAVE KEPT

792
00:23:35,181 --> 00:23:36,547
I HOPE IT'S GOOD... PULL TAB.
>> Seth: I SHOULD HAVE KEPT
THAT ONE FOR LATER IN CASE

793
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:37,815
>> Seth: I SHOULD HAVE KEPT
THAT ONE FOR LATER IN CASE
SOMETHING CAME UP.

794
00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:41,152
THAT ONE FOR LATER IN CASE
SOMETHING CAME UP.
>> Stephen: SETH ROGEN,

795
00:23:41,154 --> 00:23:41,786
SOMETHING CAME UP.
>> Stephen: SETH ROGEN,
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE KNOWN.

796
00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:43,287
>> Stephen: SETH ROGEN,
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE KNOWN.
>> Seth: I FEEL KNOWN.

797
00:23:43,289 --> 00:23:44,054
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE KNOWN.
>> Seth: I FEEL KNOWN.
THANK YOU.

798
00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:44,889
>> Seth: I FEEL KNOWN.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: SETH ROGEN,

799
00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:50,461
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: SETH ROGEN,
EVERYBODY.

800
00:23:50,463 --> 00:23:51,028
>> Stephen: SETH ROGEN,
EVERYBODY.
>> Stephen: THANKS AGAIN TO

801
00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:53,130
EVERYBODY.
>> Stephen: THANKS AGAIN TO
SETH ROGEN FOR TAKING THE

802
00:23:53,132 --> 00:23:55,065
>> Stephen: THANKS AGAIN TO
SETH ROGEN FOR TAKING THE
"QUESTIONERT"-- AND FOR SENDING

803
00:23:55,067 --> 00:23:57,601
SETH ROGEN FOR TAKING THE
"QUESTIONERT"-- AND FOR SENDING
ME FOR WHAT LEGAL REASONS I WILL

804
00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:57,968
"QUESTIONERT"-- AND FOR SENDING
ME FOR WHAT LEGAL REASONS I WILL
NOT CALL A BONG.

805
00:23:57,970 --> 00:24:00,538
ME FOR WHAT LEGAL REASONS I WILL
NOT CALL A BONG.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH

806
00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:01,105
NOT CALL A BONG.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
U.S.A.I.D. ADMINISTRATOR

807
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:01,772
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
U.S.A.I.D. ADMINISTRATOR
SAMANTHA POWER.

808
00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:17,188
♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
JOINING ME NOW IS THE PULITZER

809
00:24:17,190 --> 00:24:18,255
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
JOINING ME NOW IS THE PULITZER
PRIZE-WINNING AUTHOR WHO SERVED

810
00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:19,657
JOINING ME NOW IS THE PULITZER
PRIZE-WINNING AUTHOR WHO SERVED
AS U.N. AMBASSADOR FOR FOUR

811
00:24:19,659 --> 00:24:21,125
PRIZE-WINNING AUTHOR WHO SERVED
AS U.N. AMBASSADOR FOR FOUR
YEARS, AND NOW WORKS AS THE

812
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:21,926
AS U.N. AMBASSADOR FOR FOUR
YEARS, AND NOW WORKS AS THE
ADMINISTRATOR OF UNITED STATES

813
00:24:21,928 --> 00:24:22,426
YEARS, AND NOW WORKS AS THE
ADMINISTRATOR OF UNITED STATES
AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL

814
00:24:22,428 --> 00:24:25,262
ADMINISTRATOR OF UNITED STATES
AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL
DEVELOPMENT.

815
00:24:25,264 --> 00:24:25,896
AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL
DEVELOPMENT.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"

816
00:24:25,898 --> 00:24:30,234
DEVELOPMENT.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER!

817
00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:31,001
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER!
HELLO, SAMANTHA POWER?

818
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:33,304
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER!
HELLO, SAMANTHA POWER?
>> HELLO, STEPHEN.

819
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:33,671
HELLO, SAMANTHA POWER?
>> HELLO, STEPHEN.
NICE TO SEE YOU.

820
00:24:33,673 --> 00:24:35,840
>> HELLO, STEPHEN.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU,

821
00:24:35,842 --> 00:24:36,006
NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU,
TOO.

822
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:37,675
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU,
TOO.
I CALLED YOU ADMINISTRATOR BUT

823
00:24:37,677 --> 00:24:39,910
TOO.
I CALLED YOU ADMINISTRATOR BUT
YOU GET TO BE CALLED AMBASSADOR,

824
00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:40,077
I CALLED YOU ADMINISTRATOR BUT
YOU GET TO BE CALLED AMBASSADOR,
TOO.

825
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:42,580
YOU GET TO BE CALLED AMBASSADOR,
TOO.
ONCE AN AMBASSADOR, ALWAYS AN

826
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:42,980
TOO.
ONCE AN AMBASSADOR, ALWAYS AN
AMBASSADOR, RIGHT?

827
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:45,749
ONCE AN AMBASSADOR, ALWAYS AN
AMBASSADOR, RIGHT?
>> THESE ARE HIGH-CLASS

828
00:24:45,751 --> 00:24:46,250
AMBASSADOR, RIGHT?
>> THESE ARE HIGH-CLASS
PROBLEMS.

829
00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:46,517
>> THESE ARE HIGH-CLASS
PROBLEMS.
EXCITING.

830
00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:48,619
PROBLEMS.
EXCITING.
>> Stephen: WHICH DO YOU LIKE

831
00:24:48,621 --> 00:24:48,819
EXCITING.
>> Stephen: WHICH DO YOU LIKE
MORE?

832
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:50,488
>> Stephen: WHICH DO YOU LIKE
MORE?
AMBASSADOR OR ADMINISTRATOR?

833
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:51,722
MORE?
AMBASSADOR OR ADMINISTRATOR?
THERE'S A RIGHT ANSWER,

834
00:24:51,724 --> 00:24:52,122
AMBASSADOR OR ADMINISTRATOR?
THERE'S A RIGHT ANSWER,
OBVIOUSLY.

835
00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:54,124
THERE'S A RIGHT ANSWER,
OBVIOUSLY.
>> I LIKE ADMINISTRATOR.

836
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:54,391
OBVIOUSLY.
>> I LIKE ADMINISTRATOR.
THANK YOU.

837
00:24:54,393 --> 00:24:57,628
>> I LIKE ADMINISTRATOR.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: CONGRATS ON THE

838
00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:58,462
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: CONGRATS ON THE
NEW GIG AT U.S.A.I.D.

839
00:24:58,464 --> 00:24:59,463
>> Stephen: CONGRATS ON THE
NEW GIG AT U.S.A.I.D.
FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO MAY

840
00:24:59,465 --> 00:25:01,532
NEW GIG AT U.S.A.I.D.
FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO MAY
NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH THE UNITED

841
00:25:01,534 --> 00:25:03,100
FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO MAY
NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH THE UNITED
STATES AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL

842
00:25:03,102 --> 00:25:04,168
NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH THE UNITED
STATES AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL
DEVELOPMENT, WHAT'S IT DO?

843
00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:04,902
STATES AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL
DEVELOPMENT, WHAT'S IT DO?
WHAT'S THE JOB?

844
00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:06,770
DEVELOPMENT, WHAT'S IT DO?
WHAT'S THE JOB?
>> YEAH, IT'S -- AT HOME HERE IN

845
00:25:06,772 --> 00:25:09,907
WHAT'S THE JOB?
>> YEAH, IT'S -- AT HOME HERE IN
AMERICA, ONE OF OUR BETTER-KEPT

846
00:25:09,909 --> 00:25:12,877
>> YEAH, IT'S -- AT HOME HERE IN
AMERICA, ONE OF OUR BETTER-KEPT
SECRETS, THIS IS AN AGENCY THAT

847
00:25:12,879 --> 00:25:13,310
AMERICA, ONE OF OUR BETTER-KEPT
SECRETS, THIS IS AN AGENCY THAT
THE TAXPAYERS FUND.

848
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:16,881
SECRETS, THIS IS AN AGENCY THAT
THE TAXPAYERS FUND.
WE HAVE MISSIONS IN 80 COUNTRIE

849
00:25:16,883 --> 00:25:17,515
THE TAXPAYERS FUND.
WE HAVE MISSIONS IN 80 COUNTRIE
COUNTRIES, OFFICES WITH PEOPLE

850
00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:19,250
WE HAVE MISSIONS IN 80 COUNTRIE
COUNTRIES, OFFICES WITH PEOPLE
AND STAFF, ABOUT 10,000 PEOPLE

851
00:25:19,252 --> 00:25:21,151
COUNTRIES, OFFICES WITH PEOPLE
AND STAFF, ABOUT 10,000 PEOPLE
AROUND THE WORLD, AND PROGRAMS

852
00:25:21,153 --> 00:25:23,621
AND STAFF, ABOUT 10,000 PEOPLE
AROUND THE WORLD, AND PROGRAMS
IN ABOUT 100 COUNTRIES, AND WE

853
00:25:23,623 --> 00:25:24,955
AROUND THE WORLD, AND PROGRAMS
IN ABOUT 100 COUNTRIES, AND WE
DO EVERYTHING FROM SUPPORT THE

854
00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:27,224
IN ABOUT 100 COUNTRIES, AND WE
DO EVERYTHING FROM SUPPORT THE
EDUCATION OF GIRLS TO

855
00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:30,261
DO EVERYTHING FROM SUPPORT THE
EDUCATION OF GIRLS TO
VACCINATING YOUNG PEOPLE AND

856
00:25:30,263 --> 00:25:32,296
EDUCATION OF GIRLS TO
VACCINATING YOUNG PEOPLE AND
PREVENTING OUTBREAKS OF DISEASE.

857
00:25:32,298 --> 00:25:33,964
VACCINATING YOUNG PEOPLE AND
PREVENTING OUTBREAKS OF DISEASE.
WE FIGHT CLIMATE CHANGE BOTH BY

858
00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,933
PREVENTING OUTBREAKS OF DISEASE.
WE FIGHT CLIMATE CHANGE BOTH BY
HELPING COUNTRIES LOWER THEIR

859
00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:37,668
WE FIGHT CLIMATE CHANGE BOTH BY
HELPING COUNTRIES LOWER THEIR
EMISSIONS WHICH IS SO CRITICAL,

860
00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:39,169
HELPING COUNTRIES LOWER THEIR
EMISSIONS WHICH IS SO CRITICAL,
BUT ALSO IN HELPING POORER

861
00:25:39,171 --> 00:25:41,472
EMISSIONS WHICH IS SO CRITICAL,
BUT ALSO IN HELPING POORER
COUNTRIES ADAPT, BECAUSE WE KNOW

862
00:25:41,474 --> 00:25:42,239
BUT ALSO IN HELPING POORER
COUNTRIES ADAPT, BECAUSE WE KNOW
THAT EXTREME WEATHER EVENTS ARE

863
00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:43,641
COUNTRIES ADAPT, BECAUSE WE KNOW
THAT EXTREME WEATHER EVENTS ARE
GOING TO BE WITH US INTO THE

864
00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:46,243
THAT EXTREME WEATHER EVENTS ARE
GOING TO BE WITH US INTO THE
FUTURE AND THEY'RE TAKING A

865
00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:47,511
GOING TO BE WITH US INTO THE
FUTURE AND THEY'RE TAKING A
TERRIBLE TOLL ON PEOPLE.

866
00:25:47,513 --> 00:25:48,913
FUTURE AND THEY'RE TAKING A
TERRIBLE TOLL ON PEOPLE.
WHEN AN EMERGENCY STRIKES LIKE

867
00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:52,716
TERRIBLE TOLL ON PEOPLE.
WHEN AN EMERGENCY STRIKES LIKE
AN EARTHQUAKE OR RECENTLY A

868
00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:53,551
WHEN AN EMERGENCY STRIKES LIKE
AN EARTHQUAKE OR RECENTLY A
VOLCANO, WE PROVIDE SUPPORT TO

869
00:25:53,553 --> 00:25:55,653
AN EARTHQUAKE OR RECENTLY A
VOLCANO, WE PROVIDE SUPPORT TO
PEOPLE WHO ARE ON THE GROUND

870
00:25:55,655 --> 00:25:56,120
VOLCANO, WE PROVIDE SUPPORT TO
PEOPLE WHO ARE ON THE GROUND
RESPONDING.

871
00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:56,754
PEOPLE WHO ARE ON THE GROUND
RESPONDING.
OFTEN, IT'S OUR PLANES THAT ARE

872
00:25:56,756 --> 00:25:59,223
RESPONDING.
OFTEN, IT'S OUR PLANES THAT ARE
LANDING FIRST BRINGING

873
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:00,558
OFTEN, IT'S OUR PLANES THAT ARE
LANDING FIRST BRINGING
HUMANITARIAN RELIEF WHILE OTHERS

874
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,226
LANDING FIRST BRINGING
HUMANITARIAN RELIEF WHILE OTHERS
ARE WAITING TO SEE HOW THINGS

875
00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:02,526
HUMANITARIAN RELIEF WHILE OTHERS
ARE WAITING TO SEE HOW THINGS
UNFOLD.

876
00:26:02,528 --> 00:26:05,362
ARE WAITING TO SEE HOW THINGS
UNFOLD.
>> Stephen: SO IT'S A REALLY

877
00:26:05,364 --> 00:26:07,665
UNFOLD.
>> Stephen: SO IT'S A REALLY
IMPORTANT AGENCY.

878
00:26:07,667 --> 00:26:10,234
>> Stephen: SO IT'S A REALLY
IMPORTANT AGENCY.
IS IT UNDERNEATH ANYTHING ELSE

879
00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:12,002
IMPORTANT AGENCY.
IS IT UNDERNEATH ANYTHING ELSE
OR IS ITS OWN ENTITY?

880
00:26:12,004 --> 00:26:13,304
IS IT UNDERNEATH ANYTHING ELSE
OR IS ITS OWN ENTITY?
>> IT'S AN INDEPENDENT AGENCY AT

881
00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:14,238
OR IS ITS OWN ENTITY?
>> IT'S AN INDEPENDENT AGENCY AT
THE DISPOSAL OF THE PRESIDENT

882
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,239
>> IT'S AN INDEPENDENT AGENCY AT
THE DISPOSAL OF THE PRESIDENT
BUT WE'RE OBVIOUSLY ALWAYS

883
00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:17,341
THE DISPOSAL OF THE PRESIDENT
BUT WE'RE OBVIOUSLY ALWAYS
WORKING WITH THE SECRETARY OF

884
00:26:17,343 --> 00:26:18,676
BUT WE'RE OBVIOUSLY ALWAYS
WORKING WITH THE SECRETARY OF
STATE AND THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT

885
00:26:18,678 --> 00:26:21,312
WORKING WITH THE SECRETARY OF
STATE AND THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT
AND OTHERS TO MAKE SURE THAT

886
00:26:21,314 --> 00:26:24,548
STATE AND THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT
AND OTHERS TO MAKE SURE THAT
WE'RE IN LOCK STEP IN PURSUING

887
00:26:24,550 --> 00:26:25,182
AND OTHERS TO MAKE SURE THAT
WE'RE IN LOCK STEP IN PURSUING
AMERICA'S FOREIGN POLICY GOALS.

888
00:26:25,184 --> 00:26:26,717
WE'RE IN LOCK STEP IN PURSUING
AMERICA'S FOREIGN POLICY GOALS.
>> Stephen: IS THIS A BIG PART

889
00:26:26,719 --> 00:26:31,589
AMERICA'S FOREIGN POLICY GOALS.
>> Stephen: IS THIS A BIG PART
OF WHAT IS SOMETIMES CALLED

890
00:26:31,591 --> 00:26:32,056
>> Stephen: IS THIS A BIG PART
OF WHAT IS SOMETIMES CALLED
AMERICA'S SOFT POWER?

891
00:26:32,058 --> 00:26:33,757
OF WHAT IS SOMETIMES CALLED
AMERICA'S SOFT POWER?
>> I THINK IT IS THE SOFT POWER

892
00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:37,027
AMERICA'S SOFT POWER?
>> I THINK IT IS THE SOFT POWER
ARSENAL.

893
00:26:37,029 --> 00:26:37,661
>> I THINK IT IS THE SOFT POWER
ARSENAL.
WHEN PEOPLE ABROAD HEAR U.S.A.,

894
00:26:37,663 --> 00:26:40,030
ARSENAL.
WHEN PEOPLE ABROAD HEAR U.S.A.,
THEY THINK, OH YEAH, THEY FUNDED

895
00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:41,799
WHEN PEOPLE ABROAD HEAR U.S.A.,
THEY THINK, OH YEAH, THEY FUNDED
THAT PROGRAM THAT HELPED MY

896
00:26:41,801 --> 00:26:45,235
THEY THINK, OH YEAH, THEY FUNDED
THAT PROGRAM THAT HELPED MY
DAUGHTER GET ACCESS TO SCHOOL

897
00:26:45,237 --> 00:26:46,403
THAT PROGRAM THAT HELPED MY
DAUGHTER GET ACCESS TO SCHOOL
BOOKS OR THEY HELPED PROVIDE

898
00:26:46,405 --> 00:26:48,439
DAUGHTER GET ACCESS TO SCHOOL
BOOKS OR THEY HELPED PROVIDE
THAT SOLAR SYSTEM THAT HELPED

899
00:26:48,441 --> 00:26:50,774
BOOKS OR THEY HELPED PROVIDE
THAT SOLAR SYSTEM THAT HELPED
BRING ENERGY TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD

900
00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:52,376
THAT SOLAR SYSTEM THAT HELPED
BRING ENERGY TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD
BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE

901
00:26:52,378 --> 00:26:52,676
BRING ENERGY TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD
BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE
ELECTRICITY.

902
00:26:52,678 --> 00:26:54,578
BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE
ELECTRICITY.
OR THEY HELPED ME GET

903
00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:55,679
ELECTRICITY.
OR THEY HELPED ME GET
ELECTRICITY, FOR THAT MATTER.

904
00:26:55,681 --> 00:26:57,247
OR THEY HELPED ME GET
ELECTRICITY, FOR THAT MATTER.
IT'S REALLY WELL-KNOWN THIS IS

905
00:26:57,249 --> 00:26:58,649
ELECTRICITY, FOR THAT MATTER.
IT'S REALLY WELL-KNOWN THIS IS
THE GENEROSITY OF THE AMERICAN

906
00:26:58,651 --> 00:26:59,483
IT'S REALLY WELL-KNOWN THIS IS
THE GENEROSITY OF THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE PLAYING OUT AROUND THE

907
00:26:59,485 --> 00:27:01,485
THE GENEROSITY OF THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE PLAYING OUT AROUND THE
WORLD, AND IT IS A GREAT SOURCE

908
00:27:01,487 --> 00:27:03,854
PEOPLE PLAYING OUT AROUND THE
WORLD, AND IT IS A GREAT SOURCE
OF INFLUENCE FOR US, BECAUSE

909
00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:04,455
WORLD, AND IT IS A GREAT SOURCE
OF INFLUENCE FOR US, BECAUSE
PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY GRATEFUL.

910
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:05,222
OF INFLUENCE FOR US, BECAUSE
PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY GRATEFUL.
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU

911
00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:07,992
PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY GRATEFUL.
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU
MENTIONED VACCINES IN THE FIRST

912
00:27:07,994 --> 00:27:09,627
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU
MENTIONED VACCINES IN THE FIRST
PART OF YOUR ANSWER THERE, AND,

913
00:27:09,629 --> 00:27:11,228
MENTIONED VACCINES IN THE FIRST
PART OF YOUR ANSWER THERE, AND,
OF COURSE, TODAY, THE BIG NEWS

914
00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:12,696
PART OF YOUR ANSWER THERE, AND,
OF COURSE, TODAY, THE BIG NEWS
IS THAT PRESIDENT BIDEN

915
00:27:12,698 --> 00:27:14,398
OF COURSE, TODAY, THE BIG NEWS
IS THAT PRESIDENT BIDEN
ANNOUNCED THAT THE U.S. WILL

916
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:14,932
IS THAT PRESIDENT BIDEN
ANNOUNCED THAT THE U.S. WILL
DONATE 500 MILLION, HALF A

917
00:27:14,934 --> 00:27:22,239
ANNOUNCED THAT THE U.S. WILL
DONATE 500 MILLION, HALF A
BILLION VACCINES GLOBALLY.

918
00:27:22,241 --> 00:27:23,140
DONATE 500 MILLION, HALF A
BILLION VACCINES GLOBALLY.
IS U.S.A.I.D. GOING TO BE

919
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:25,009
BILLION VACCINES GLOBALLY.
IS U.S.A.I.D. GOING TO BE
INVOLVED IN THAT IN ANY WAY?

920
00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:27,478
IS U.S.A.I.D. GOING TO BE
INVOLVED IN THAT IN ANY WAY?
>> ABSOLUTELY AND THIS IS MAJOR.

921
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,812
INVOLVED IN THAT IN ANY WAY?
>> ABSOLUTELY AND THIS IS MAJOR.
I THINK VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN

922
00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:30,547
>> ABSOLUTELY AND THIS IS MAJOR.
I THINK VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN
BACK IN THE OBAMA YEARS REFERRED

923
00:27:30,549 --> 00:27:34,251
I THINK VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN
BACK IN THE OBAMA YEARS REFERRED
TO SOMETHING AS A B.F.D., THIS

924
00:27:34,253 --> 00:27:37,454
BACK IN THE OBAMA YEARS REFERRED
TO SOMETHING AS A B.F.D., THIS
IS A B.F.D.

925
00:27:37,456 --> 00:27:38,689
TO SOMETHING AS A B.F.D., THIS
IS A B.F.D.
IT IS -- 500 MILLION IS MORE

926
00:27:38,691 --> 00:27:40,457
IS A B.F.D.
IT IS -- 500 MILLION IS MORE
DOSES THAN HAVE BEEN

927
00:27:40,459 --> 00:27:41,091
IT IS -- 500 MILLION IS MORE
DOSES THAN HAVE BEEN
ADMINISTERED IN SOUTH AMERICA,

928
00:27:41,093 --> 00:27:43,327
DOSES THAN HAVE BEEN
ADMINISTERED IN SOUTH AMERICA,
AFRICA AND EUROPEAN UNION

929
00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:44,261
ADMINISTERED IN SOUTH AMERICA,
AFRICA AND EUROPEAN UNION
COMBINED.

930
00:27:44,263 --> 00:27:45,396
AFRICA AND EUROPEAN UNION
COMBINED.
THESE ARE DOSES THAT ARE GOING

931
00:27:45,398 --> 00:27:47,164
COMBINED.
THESE ARE DOSES THAT ARE GOING
TO GO TO COUNTRIES THAT HAVEN'T

932
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,867
THESE ARE DOSES THAT ARE GOING
TO GO TO COUNTRIES THAT HAVEN'T
BEEN ABLE TO AFFORD TO DO THESE

933
00:27:49,869 --> 00:27:50,267
TO GO TO COUNTRIES THAT HAVEN'T
BEEN ABLE TO AFFORD TO DO THESE
CONTRACTS WITH THE

934
00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:52,269
BEEN ABLE TO AFFORD TO DO THESE
CONTRACTS WITH THE
PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES AS WE

935
00:27:52,271 --> 00:27:54,238
CONTRACTS WITH THE
PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES AS WE
HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO D

936
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,172
PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES AS WE
HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO D
DO.

937
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:55,773
HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO D
DO.
OUR FATE IS CONNECTED TO THE

938
00:27:55,775 --> 00:27:56,807
DO.
OUR FATE IS CONNECTED TO THE
FATE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE RECEIVING

939
00:27:56,809 --> 00:27:57,608
OUR FATE IS CONNECTED TO THE
FATE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE RECEIVING
THESE VACCINES.

940
00:27:57,610 --> 00:27:59,643
FATE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE RECEIVING
THESE VACCINES.
IT'S IN ALL OF OUR INTERESTS TO

941
00:27:59,645 --> 00:28:01,679
THESE VACCINES.
IT'S IN ALL OF OUR INTERESTS TO
BRING THIS PANDEMIC TO A CLOSE

942
00:28:01,681 --> 00:28:03,113
IT'S IN ALL OF OUR INTERESTS TO
BRING THIS PANDEMIC TO A CLOSE
MUCH SOONER BECAUSE OF THE RISK

943
00:28:03,115 --> 00:28:06,250
BRING THIS PANDEMIC TO A CLOSE
MUCH SOONER BECAUSE OF THE RISK
OF VARIANTS AND BECAUSE OF THE

944
00:28:06,252 --> 00:28:07,751
MUCH SOONER BECAUSE OF THE RISK
OF VARIANTS AND BECAUSE OF THE
ECONOMIC TOLL IT HAS TAKEN WHICH

945
00:28:07,753 --> 00:28:09,286
OF VARIANTS AND BECAUSE OF THE
ECONOMIC TOLL IT HAS TAKEN WHICH
OF COURSE HAS A KNOCK ON

946
00:28:09,288 --> 00:28:11,155
ECONOMIC TOLL IT HAS TAKEN WHICH
OF COURSE HAS A KNOCK ON
NEGATIVE EFFECT ON OUR ECONOMY

947
00:28:11,157 --> 00:28:12,556
OF COURSE HAS A KNOCK ON
NEGATIVE EFFECT ON OUR ECONOMY
AND OUR EMPLOYMENT RATE EVEN, SO

948
00:28:12,558 --> 00:28:13,857
NEGATIVE EFFECT ON OUR ECONOMY
AND OUR EMPLOYMENT RATE EVEN, SO
IT'S IN OUR INTEREST BUT IT'S SO

949
00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:15,225
AND OUR EMPLOYMENT RATE EVEN, SO
IT'S IN OUR INTEREST BUT IT'S SO
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

950
00:28:15,227 --> 00:28:16,393
IT'S IN OUR INTEREST BUT IT'S SO
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
AND WHEN YOU'LL SEE IN THE

951
00:28:16,395 --> 00:28:19,563
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
AND WHEN YOU'LL SEE IN THE
COMING DAYS IS US USING THIS

952
00:28:19,565 --> 00:28:20,497
AND WHEN YOU'LL SEE IN THE
COMING DAYS IS US USING THIS
CONTRIBUTION BY THE UNITED

953
00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:22,232
COMING DAYS IS US USING THIS
CONTRIBUTION BY THE UNITED
STATES TO GET OTHER COUNTRIES TO

954
00:28:22,234 --> 00:28:24,068
CONTRIBUTION BY THE UNITED
STATES TO GET OTHER COUNTRIES TO
DO MORE.

955
00:28:24,070 --> 00:28:25,469
STATES TO GET OTHER COUNTRIES TO
DO MORE.
THAT IS AMERICAN CATALYTIC

956
00:28:25,471 --> 00:28:26,236
DO MORE.
THAT IS AMERICAN CATALYTIC
LEADERSHIP AT ITS BEST.

957
00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:29,339
THAT IS AMERICAN CATALYTIC
LEADERSHIP AT ITS BEST.
WE MAKE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT LIKE

958
00:28:29,341 --> 00:28:30,574
LEADERSHIP AT ITS BEST.
WE MAKE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT LIKE
THIS, 500 MILLION DOSES, WHICH

959
00:28:30,576 --> 00:28:33,243
WE MAKE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT LIKE
THIS, 500 MILLION DOSES, WHICH
ARE, AGAIN, JUST SO URGENTLY

960
00:28:33,245 --> 00:28:36,013
THIS, 500 MILLION DOSES, WHICH
ARE, AGAIN, JUST SO URGENTLY
NEEDED IN SO MANY PARTS OF THE

961
00:28:36,015 --> 00:28:36,280
ARE, AGAIN, JUST SO URGENTLY
NEEDED IN SO MANY PARTS OF THE
WORLD.

962
00:28:36,282 --> 00:28:39,116
NEEDED IN SO MANY PARTS OF THE
WORLD.
AFRICA, ONLY 2% OF AFRICANS HAVE

963
00:28:39,118 --> 00:28:40,117
WORLD.
AFRICA, ONLY 2% OF AFRICANS HAVE
BEEN VACCINATED COMPARED TO MORE

964
00:28:40,119 --> 00:28:42,252
AFRICA, ONLY 2% OF AFRICANS HAVE
BEEN VACCINATED COMPARED TO MORE
THAN HALF OF OUR POPULATION HERE

965
00:28:42,254 --> 00:28:42,720
BEEN VACCINATED COMPARED TO MORE
THAN HALF OF OUR POPULATION HERE
IN THE UNITED STATES.

966
00:28:42,722 --> 00:28:45,189
THAN HALF OF OUR POPULATION HERE
IN THE UNITED STATES.
SO WE MAKE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT,

967
00:28:45,191 --> 00:28:48,292
IN THE UNITED STATES.
SO WE MAKE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT,
BUT THEN WE LEVERAGE IT TO GET

968
00:28:48,294 --> 00:28:49,493
SO WE MAKE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT,
BUT THEN WE LEVERAGE IT TO GET
OUR PARTNERS TO CONTRIBUTE

969
00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:50,461
BUT THEN WE LEVERAGE IT TO GET
OUR PARTNERS TO CONTRIBUTE
FINANCIALLY OR THEMSELVES TO

970
00:28:50,463 --> 00:28:52,629
OUR PARTNERS TO CONTRIBUTE
FINANCIALLY OR THEMSELVES TO
DONATE SURPLUS DOSES VACCINES AS

971
00:28:52,631 --> 00:28:52,830
FINANCIALLY OR THEMSELVES TO
DONATE SURPLUS DOSES VACCINES AS
WELL.

972
00:28:52,832 --> 00:28:55,399
DONATE SURPLUS DOSES VACCINES AS
WELL.
WE START TO GET THOSE NUMBERS UP

973
00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:56,366
WELL.
WE START TO GET THOSE NUMBERS UP
WAY BEYOND 500 MILLION VERY

974
00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:56,567
WE START TO GET THOSE NUMBERS UP
WAY BEYOND 500 MILLION VERY
SOON.

975
00:28:56,569 --> 00:28:58,168
WAY BEYOND 500 MILLION VERY
SOON.
>> Stephen: ON MONDAY, VICE

976
00:28:58,170 --> 00:28:59,403
SOON.
>> Stephen: ON MONDAY, VICE
PRESIDENT HARRIS WAS IN

977
00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:03,640
>> Stephen: ON MONDAY, VICE
PRESIDENT HARRIS WAS IN
GUATEMALA AND SHE SAID TO THE

978
00:29:03,642 --> 00:29:04,241
PRESIDENT HARRIS WAS IN
GUATEMALA AND SHE SAID TO THE
GUATEMALANS DO NOT COME TO THE

979
00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:05,409
GUATEMALA AND SHE SAID TO THE
GUATEMALANS DO NOT COME TO THE
U.S. TO SEEK ASYLUM BUT ALSO

980
00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:06,176
GUATEMALANS DO NOT COME TO THE
U.S. TO SEEK ASYLUM BUT ALSO
PLEDGED TO HELP FIX THE LARGER

981
00:29:06,178 --> 00:29:09,446
U.S. TO SEEK ASYLUM BUT ALSO
PLEDGED TO HELP FIX THE LARGER
PROBLEMS IN THE REGION THAT TEND

982
00:29:09,448 --> 00:29:10,514
PLEDGED TO HELP FIX THE LARGER
PROBLEMS IN THE REGION THAT TEND
TO DRAW -- DRIVE PEOPLE OUT OF

983
00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:12,449
PROBLEMS IN THE REGION THAT TEND
TO DRAW -- DRIVE PEOPLE OUT OF
THEIR COUNTRY AND TOWARD OUR

984
00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:13,117
TO DRAW -- DRIVE PEOPLE OUT OF
THEIR COUNTRY AND TOWARD OUR
BORDER.

985
00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:16,587
THEIR COUNTRY AND TOWARD OUR
BORDER.
IS THAT ALSO THE SORT OF THING

986
00:29:16,589 --> 00:29:17,788
BORDER.
IS THAT ALSO THE SORT OF THING
THAT U.S.A.I.D. IS INVOLVED IN?

987
00:29:17,790 --> 00:29:19,623
IS THAT ALSO THE SORT OF THING
THAT U.S.A.I.D. IS INVOLVED IN?
>> WELL, I THINK ALL OF US IN

988
00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:22,192
THAT U.S.A.I.D. IS INVOLVED IN?
>> WELL, I THINK ALL OF US IN
THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION ARE

989
00:29:22,194 --> 00:29:22,960
>> WELL, I THINK ALL OF US IN
THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION ARE
VERY COMMITTED TO ENSURING THAT

990
00:29:22,962 --> 00:29:25,662
THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION ARE
VERY COMMITTED TO ENSURING THAT
PEOPLE HAVE THEIR ASYLUM CLAIMS

991
00:29:25,664 --> 00:29:26,964
VERY COMMITTED TO ENSURING THAT
PEOPLE HAVE THEIR ASYLUM CLAIMS
HEARD, SO I DO WANT TO STRESS

992
00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:27,765
PEOPLE HAVE THEIR ASYLUM CLAIMS
HEARD, SO I DO WANT TO STRESS
THAT.

993
00:29:27,767 --> 00:29:28,398
HEARD, SO I DO WANT TO STRESS
THAT.
I KNOW VICE PRESIDENT HARRIS

994
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,134
THAT.
I KNOW VICE PRESIDENT HARRIS
WOULD SAY THAT.

995
00:29:30,136 --> 00:29:35,405
I KNOW VICE PRESIDENT HARRIS
WOULD SAY THAT.
BUT, YES, U.S.A. IS THE PRIMARY

996
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:36,273
WOULD SAY THAT.
BUT, YES, U.S.A. IS THE PRIMARY
IMPLEMENTER OF THE ROOT CAUSES

997
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:36,540
BUT, YES, U.S.A. IS THE PRIMARY
IMPLEMENTER OF THE ROOT CAUSES
STRATEGY.

998
00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:39,076
IMPLEMENTER OF THE ROOT CAUSES
STRATEGY.
WHAT WOULD MAKE A MOM ENTRUST

999
00:29:39,078 --> 00:29:41,545
STRATEGY.
WHAT WOULD MAKE A MOM ENTRUST
THEIR CHILD TO A COYOTE?

1000
00:29:41,547 --> 00:29:43,013
WHAT WOULD MAKE A MOM ENTRUST
THEIR CHILD TO A COYOTE?
IMAGINE THE LEVEL OF DESPERATION

1001
00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:46,250
THEIR CHILD TO A COYOTE?
IMAGINE THE LEVEL OF DESPERATION
THAT MOTHER IS EXPERIENCING.

1002
00:29:46,252 --> 00:29:49,186
IMAGINE THE LEVEL OF DESPERATION
THAT MOTHER IS EXPERIENCING.
OUR JOB IN U.S.A.I.D. AGAIN IN

1003
00:29:49,188 --> 00:29:50,354
THAT MOTHER IS EXPERIENCING.
OUR JOB IN U.S.A.I.D. AGAIN IN
PARTNERSHIP WITH COMMUNITIES AND

1004
00:29:50,356 --> 00:29:51,488
OUR JOB IN U.S.A.I.D. AGAIN IN
PARTNERSHIP WITH COMMUNITIES AND
ACTORS ON THE GROUND IS TO TRY

1005
00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:53,657
PARTNERSHIP WITH COMMUNITIES AND
ACTORS ON THE GROUND IS TO TRY
TO ENSURE THAT NO MOTHER HAS TO

1006
00:29:53,659 --> 00:29:54,057
ACTORS ON THE GROUND IS TO TRY
TO ENSURE THAT NO MOTHER HAS TO
MAKE THAT CHOICE.

1007
00:29:54,059 --> 00:29:55,659
TO ENSURE THAT NO MOTHER HAS TO
MAKE THAT CHOICE.
>> Stephen: IN THE PAST, HAS

1008
00:29:55,661 --> 00:29:56,493
MAKE THAT CHOICE.
>> Stephen: IN THE PAST, HAS
THAT BEEN USEFUL, THOUGH?

1009
00:29:56,495 --> 00:29:58,228
>> Stephen: IN THE PAST, HAS
THAT BEEN USEFUL, THOUGH?
BECAUSE A LOT OF CRITICISM OF

1010
00:29:58,230 --> 00:30:00,731
THAT BEEN USEFUL, THOUGH?
BECAUSE A LOT OF CRITICISM OF
THINGS LIKE OVERSEAS AID, PEOPLE

1011
00:30:00,733 --> 00:30:01,965
BECAUSE A LOT OF CRITICISM OF
THINGS LIKE OVERSEAS AID, PEOPLE
SAY LIKE, WELL, WE'RE THROWING

1012
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:03,901
THINGS LIKE OVERSEAS AID, PEOPLE
SAY LIKE, WELL, WE'RE THROWING
GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD.

1013
00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:05,969
SAY LIKE, WELL, WE'RE THROWING
GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD.
HAS THERE BEEN SUCCESS IN THE

1014
00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:07,671
GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD.
HAS THERE BEEN SUCCESS IN THE
PAST IN SLOWING DOWN THAT KIND

1015
00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:07,938
HAS THERE BEEN SUCCESS IN THE
PAST IN SLOWING DOWN THAT KIND
MIGRATION?

1016
00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:10,040
PAST IN SLOWING DOWN THAT KIND
MIGRATION?
>> WELL, I WILL SAY IT DIDN'T

1017
00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:11,809
MIGRATION?
>> WELL, I WILL SAY IT DIDN'T
HELP IN THE LAST ADMINISTRATION,

1018
00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:12,776
>> WELL, I WILL SAY IT DIDN'T
HELP IN THE LAST ADMINISTRATION,
ALL ASSISTANCE TO THE REGION WAS

1019
00:30:12,778 --> 00:30:14,778
HELP IN THE LAST ADMINISTRATION,
ALL ASSISTANCE TO THE REGION WAS
CUT OFF, SO MANY OF OUR PROGRAMS

1020
00:30:14,780 --> 00:30:16,079
ALL ASSISTANCE TO THE REGION WAS
CUT OFF, SO MANY OF OUR PROGRAMS
WHICH WERE STARTING TO SHOW

1021
00:30:16,081 --> 00:30:18,916
CUT OFF, SO MANY OF OUR PROGRAMS
WHICH WERE STARTING TO SHOW
REDUCTIONS IN CRIME AND IN

1022
00:30:18,918 --> 00:30:19,683
WHICH WERE STARTING TO SHOW
REDUCTIONS IN CRIME AND IN
HOMICIDES AND IN PARTICULAR

1023
00:30:19,685 --> 00:30:21,852
REDUCTIONS IN CRIME AND IN
HOMICIDES AND IN PARTICULAR
COMMUNITIES, THOSE PROGRAMS WERE

1024
00:30:21,854 --> 00:30:24,388
HOMICIDES AND IN PARTICULAR
COMMUNITIES, THOSE PROGRAMS WERE
SUSPENDED, BUT I THINK, LOOK,

1025
00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:26,223
COMMUNITIES, THOSE PROGRAMS WERE
SUSPENDED, BUT I THINK, LOOK,
IT'S A VERY FAIR QUESTION.

1026
00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:29,226
SUSPENDED, BUT I THINK, LOOK,
IT'S A VERY FAIR QUESTION.
ONE OF THE THINGS U.S.A.I.D. HAS

1027
00:30:29,228 --> 00:30:30,861
IT'S A VERY FAIR QUESTION.
ONE OF THE THINGS U.S.A.I.D. HAS
GOTTEN BETTER OVER TIME -- AND

1028
00:30:30,863 --> 00:30:31,829
ONE OF THE THINGS U.S.A.I.D. HAS
GOTTEN BETTER OVER TIME -- AND
I'M IMPRESSED COMING BACK INTO

1029
00:30:31,831 --> 00:30:33,597
GOTTEN BETTER OVER TIME -- AND
I'M IMPRESSED COMING BACK INTO
THE GOVERNMENT TO SEE HOW

1030
00:30:33,599 --> 00:30:35,499
I'M IMPRESSED COMING BACK INTO
THE GOVERNMENT TO SEE HOW
SOPHISTICATED IT IS -- IS DOING

1031
00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:36,667
THE GOVERNMENT TO SEE HOW
SOPHISTICATED IT IS -- IS DOING
THESE EVALUATIONS AND ACTUALLY

1032
00:30:36,669 --> 00:30:38,869
SOPHISTICATED IT IS -- IS DOING
THESE EVALUATIONS AND ACTUALLY
STUDYING THE DATA AND

1033
00:30:38,871 --> 00:30:39,369
THESE EVALUATIONS AND ACTUALLY
STUDYING THE DATA AND
ASCERTAINING WHAT WORKS.

1034
00:30:39,371 --> 00:30:40,804
STUDYING THE DATA AND
ASCERTAINING WHAT WORKS.
SOMETIMES WHAT WORKS IS A

1035
00:30:40,806 --> 00:30:41,438
ASCERTAINING WHAT WORKS.
SOMETIMES WHAT WORKS IS A
GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE PROGRAM TO

1036
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,640
SOMETIMES WHAT WORKS IS A
GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE PROGRAM TO
GIVE A WOMAN WHO SURVIVES SEXUAL

1037
00:30:43,642 --> 00:30:44,908
GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE PROGRAM TO
GIVE A WOMAN WHO SURVIVES SEXUAL
VIOLENCE THE CARE SHE NEEDS IN

1038
00:30:44,910 --> 00:30:46,743
GIVE A WOMAN WHO SURVIVES SEXUAL
VIOLENCE THE CARE SHE NEEDS IN
HER OWN COMMUNITY SO SHE DOESN'T

1039
00:30:46,745 --> 00:30:47,578
VIOLENCE THE CARE SHE NEEDS IN
HER OWN COMMUNITY SO SHE DOESN'T
HAVE TO FLEE IN ORDER TO TRY TO

1040
00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:49,680
HER OWN COMMUNITY SO SHE DOESN'T
HAVE TO FLEE IN ORDER TO TRY TO
FIND IT ELSEWHERE.

1041
00:30:49,682 --> 00:30:52,916
HAVE TO FLEE IN ORDER TO TRY TO
FIND IT ELSEWHERE.
SOMETIMES IT'S ABOUT REACHING

1042
00:30:52,918 --> 00:30:53,550
FIND IT ELSEWHERE.
SOMETIMES IT'S ABOUT REACHING
AT-RISK YOUTH WHO MIGHT GO INTO

1043
00:30:53,552 --> 00:30:55,886
SOMETIMES IT'S ABOUT REACHING
AT-RISK YOUTH WHO MIGHT GO INTO
A GANG IF THEY DON'T HAVE A JOBS

1044
00:30:55,888 --> 00:30:58,222
AT-RISK YOUTH WHO MIGHT GO INTO
A GANG IF THEY DON'T HAVE A JOBS
PROGRAM TO TURN TO OR ANY

1045
00:30:58,224 --> 00:30:59,523
A GANG IF THEY DON'T HAVE A JOBS
PROGRAM TO TURN TO OR ANY
VOCATIONAL SKILLS.

1046
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:00,958
PROGRAM TO TURN TO OR ANY
VOCATIONAL SKILLS.
THERE'S NO SILVER BULLETS FOR

1047
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:01,158
VOCATIONAL SKILLS.
THERE'S NO SILVER BULLETS FOR
SURE.

1048
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:02,993
THERE'S NO SILVER BULLETS FOR
SURE.
BUT PART OF WHAT WE NEED TO DO

1049
00:31:02,995 --> 00:31:04,828
SURE.
BUT PART OF WHAT WE NEED TO DO
AS WELL IS PROVIDE LAWFUL

1050
00:31:04,830 --> 00:31:06,263
BUT PART OF WHAT WE NEED TO DO
AS WELL IS PROVIDE LAWFUL
PATHWAYS SO PEOPLE COULD

1051
00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:07,331
AS WELL IS PROVIDE LAWFUL
PATHWAYS SO PEOPLE COULD
ACTUALLY APPLY FOR SEASONAL WORK

1052
00:31:07,333 --> 00:31:08,665
PATHWAYS SO PEOPLE COULD
ACTUALLY APPLY FOR SEASONAL WORK
HERE IN THIS COUNTRY AND THEN BE

1053
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:10,234
ACTUALLY APPLY FOR SEASONAL WORK
HERE IN THIS COUNTRY AND THEN BE
ABLE TO GO BACK HOME.

1054
00:31:10,236 --> 00:31:11,969
HERE IN THIS COUNTRY AND THEN BE
ABLE TO GO BACK HOME.
BECAUSE, AGAIN, ONE THING I CAN

1055
00:31:11,971 --> 00:31:12,736
ABLE TO GO BACK HOME.
BECAUSE, AGAIN, ONE THING I CAN
SAY FROM ALL OF MY TRAVELS

1056
00:31:12,738 --> 00:31:14,504
BECAUSE, AGAIN, ONE THING I CAN
SAY FROM ALL OF MY TRAVELS
AROUNDTHE WORLD IS IT'S VERY

1057
00:31:14,506 --> 00:31:16,139
SAY FROM ALL OF MY TRAVELS
AROUNDTHE WORLD IS IT'S VERY
RARE THAT YOU MEET SOMEBODY WHO

1058
00:31:16,141 --> 00:31:17,774
AROUNDTHE WORLD IS IT'S VERY
RARE THAT YOU MEET SOMEBODY WHO
WANTS TO LEAVE HOME.

1059
00:31:17,776 --> 00:31:19,643
RARE THAT YOU MEET SOMEBODY WHO
WANTS TO LEAVE HOME.
YOU KNOW, WHERE THAT IS THEIR

1060
00:31:19,645 --> 00:31:20,844
WANTS TO LEAVE HOME.
YOU KNOW, WHERE THAT IS THEIR
FIRST CHOICE.

1061
00:31:20,846 --> 00:31:22,446
YOU KNOW, WHERE THAT IS THEIR
FIRST CHOICE.
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THEIR FIRST

1062
00:31:22,448 --> 00:31:23,080
FIRST CHOICE.
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THEIR FIRST
CHOICE IS TO HAVE OPPORTUNITY

1063
00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:25,682
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THEIR FIRST
CHOICE IS TO HAVE OPPORTUNITY
AND HOPE IN THEIR OWN COMMUNITY.

1064
00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:27,017
CHOICE IS TO HAVE OPPORTUNITY
AND HOPE IN THEIR OWN COMMUNITY.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE ON THE

1065
00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:28,352
AND HOPE IN THEIR OWN COMMUNITY.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE ON THE
LAST TIME TO TALK ABOUT YOUR

1066
00:31:28,354 --> 00:31:31,555
>> Stephen: YOU WERE ON THE
LAST TIME TO TALK ABOUT YOUR
BOOK "THE EDUCATION OF AN

1067
00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:32,990
LAST TIME TO TALK ABOUT YOUR
BOOK "THE EDUCATION OF AN
IDEALIST" BUT I ALSO KNOW YOU'RE

1068
00:31:32,992 --> 00:31:35,058
BOOK "THE EDUCATION OF AN
IDEALIST" BUT I ALSO KNOW YOU'RE
IN SOME WAYS A PRAGMATIST.

1069
00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:37,895
IDEALIST" BUT I ALSO KNOW YOU'RE
IN SOME WAYS A PRAGMATIST.
YOU BELIEVE IN REACHING ACROSS

1070
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:38,495
IN SOME WAYS A PRAGMATIST.
YOU BELIEVE IN REACHING ACROSS
THE AISLE IF IT'LL ACHIEVE THE

1071
00:31:38,497 --> 00:31:41,365
YOU BELIEVE IN REACHING ACROSS
THE AISLE IF IT'LL ACHIEVE THE
GOALS YOU'RE TRYING TO ACHIEVE.

1072
00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:42,933
THE AISLE IF IT'LL ACHIEVE THE
GOALS YOU'RE TRYING TO ACHIEVE.
IS PRAGMATISM VALUED IN

1073
00:31:42,935 --> 00:31:43,634
GOALS YOU'RE TRYING TO ACHIEVE.
IS PRAGMATISM VALUED IN
WASHINGTON THESE DAYS FROM YOUR

1074
00:31:43,636 --> 00:31:46,103
IS PRAGMATISM VALUED IN
WASHINGTON THESE DAYS FROM YOUR
EXPERIENCE?

1075
00:31:46,105 --> 00:31:48,538
WASHINGTON THESE DAYS FROM YOUR
EXPERIENCE?
>> LOOK, TAKE THE REACTION TO

1076
00:31:48,540 --> 00:31:49,606
EXPERIENCE?
>> LOOK, TAKE THE REACTION TO
THIS VACCINE ANNOUNCEMENT.

1077
00:31:49,608 --> 00:31:54,544
>> LOOK, TAKE THE REACTION TO
THIS VACCINE ANNOUNCEMENT.
I THINK THE PANDEMIC HAS TAUGHT

1078
00:31:54,546 --> 00:31:58,248
THIS VACCINE ANNOUNCEMENT.
I THINK THE PANDEMIC HAS TAUGHT
SOME OF US A DEEP LESSON ABOUT

1079
00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:01,518
I THINK THE PANDEMIC HAS TAUGHT
SOME OF US A DEEP LESSON ABOUT
HOW CONNECTED WE ARE TO PEOPLE

1080
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:01,785
SOME OF US A DEEP LESSON ABOUT
HOW CONNECTED WE ARE TO PEOPLE
ELSEWHERE.

1081
00:32:01,787 --> 00:32:02,352
HOW CONNECTED WE ARE TO PEOPLE
ELSEWHERE.
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SEEN FOR

1082
00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:06,023
ELSEWHERE.
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SEEN FOR
EXAMPLE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC AS

1083
00:32:06,025 --> 00:32:07,291
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SEEN FOR
EXAMPLE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC AS
IDEALISM TO GIVE AWAY

1084
00:32:07,293 --> 00:32:08,458
EXAMPLE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC AS
IDEALISM TO GIVE AWAY
500 MILLION DOSES THAT THE

1085
00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:09,092
IDEALISM TO GIVE AWAY
500 MILLION DOSES THAT THE
AMERICAN TAXPAYER HELPS PAY FOR.

1086
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,662
500 MILLION DOSES THAT THE
AMERICAN TAXPAYER HELPS PAY FOR.
I THINK NOW THERE'S A

1087
00:32:11,664 --> 00:32:12,429
AMERICAN TAXPAYER HELPS PAY FOR.
I THINK NOW THERE'S A
RECOGNITION THAT IS PRAGMATISM,

1088
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:12,629
I THINK NOW THERE'S A
RECOGNITION THAT IS PRAGMATISM,
RIGHT?

1089
00:32:12,631 --> 00:32:14,197
RECOGNITION THAT IS PRAGMATISM,
RIGHT?
WITH THE RISK OF VARIANTS AND TO

1090
00:32:14,199 --> 00:32:16,266
RIGHT?
WITH THE RISK OF VARIANTS AND TO
THE COST OF OUR ECONOMY AND

1091
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:18,535
WITH THE RISK OF VARIANTS AND TO
THE COST OF OUR ECONOMY AND
OTHER ECONOMIES BEING SHUT DOWN

1092
00:32:18,537 --> 00:32:19,670
THE COST OF OUR ECONOMY AND
OTHER ECONOMIES BEING SHUT DOWN
IN AN INTERCONNECTED WORLD,

1093
00:32:19,672 --> 00:32:22,205
OTHER ECONOMIES BEING SHUT DOWN
IN AN INTERCONNECTED WORLD,
IDEALISM -- WE'RE THE LINE

1094
00:32:22,207 --> 00:32:25,642
IN AN INTERCONNECTED WORLD,
IDEALISM -- WE'RE THE LINE
BETWEEN IDEALISM AND PRAGMATISM

1095
00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:25,842
IDEALISM -- WE'RE THE LINE
BETWEEN IDEALISM AND PRAGMATISM
LIES.

1096
00:32:25,844 --> 00:32:28,278
BETWEEN IDEALISM AND PRAGMATISM
LIES.
IT'S HARD TO DISCERN.

1097
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,613
LIES.
IT'S HARD TO DISCERN.
IT'S WITHIN OUR INTERESTS AND

1098
00:32:29,615 --> 00:32:30,914
IT'S HARD TO DISCERN.
IT'S WITHIN OUR INTERESTS AND
THE KIND OF COMPASSION THAT ALL

1099
00:32:30,916 --> 00:32:33,050
IT'S WITHIN OUR INTERESTS AND
THE KIND OF COMPASSION THAT ALL
OF US SEE PROUD WHEN WE SEE IT

1100
00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:34,618
THE KIND OF COMPASSION THAT ALL
OF US SEE PROUD WHEN WE SEE IT
EXTENDED INTERNATIONALLY.

1101
00:32:34,620 --> 00:32:35,519
OF US SEE PROUD WHEN WE SEE IT
EXTENDED INTERNATIONALLY.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR

1102
00:32:35,521 --> 00:32:36,386
EXTENDED INTERNATIONALLY.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR
BEING HERE.

1103
00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:38,088
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR
BEING HERE.
SAM, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

1104
00:32:38,090 --> 00:32:40,657
BEING HERE.
SAM, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME HERE.

1105
00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:41,124
SAM, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME HERE.
>> Stephen: U.S.A.I.D.

1106
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:41,725
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME HERE.
>> Stephen: U.S.A.I.D.
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER,

1107
00:32:41,727 --> 00:32:41,992
>> Stephen: U.S.A.I.D.
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER,
EVERYBODY!

1108
00:32:41,994 --> 00:32:42,526
ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER,
EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A

1109
00:32:42,528 --> 00:32:44,061
EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY MAROON 5.

1110
00:32:44,063 --> 00:32:46,129
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY MAROON 5.
STICK AROUND.

1111
00:32:53,338 --> 00:32:55,672
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
THEIR NEW LBUM, "JORDI," IS OUT
TOMORROW.

1112
00:32:55,674 --> 00:33:11,655
THEIR NEW LBUM, "JORDI," IS OUT
TOMORROW.
PERFORMING "LOST," MAROON 5.

1113
00:33:11,657 --> 00:33:12,489
TOMORROW.
PERFORMING "LOST," MAROON 5.
♪ GOT NO CONNECTION

1114
00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:13,156
PERFORMING "LOST," MAROON 5.
♪ GOT NO CONNECTION
NO FAITH OR DIRECTION, NO

1115
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:13,690
♪ GOT NO CONNECTION
NO FAITH OR DIRECTION, NO
♪ SEARCHING AND SEARCHING

1116
00:33:13,692 --> 00:33:14,257
NO FAITH OR DIRECTION, NO
♪ SEARCHING AND SEARCHING
FOR SOMEONE TO SAVE MY SOUL

1117
00:33:14,259 --> 00:33:15,092
♪ SEARCHING AND SEARCHING
FOR SOMEONE TO SAVE MY SOUL
♪ OOH

1118
00:33:15,094 --> 00:33:15,659
FOR SOMEONE TO SAVE MY SOUL
♪ OOH
OOH

1119
00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,361
♪ OOH
OOH
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE

1120
00:33:17,363 --> 00:33:19,196
OOH
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE

1121
00:33:19,198 --> 00:33:19,663
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
♪ OOH

1122
00:33:19,665 --> 00:33:22,599
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
♪ OOH
OOH

1123
00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:23,667
♪ OOH
OOH
♪ THEN I HEARD YOU SAY MY NAME

1124
00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:26,136
OOH
♪ THEN I HEARD YOU SAY MY NAME
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH

1125
00:33:26,138 --> 00:33:27,137
♪ THEN I HEARD YOU SAY MY NAME
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST

1126
00:33:27,139 --> 00:33:27,671
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME

1127
00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:30,273
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,

1128
00:33:30,275 --> 00:33:31,675
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND

1129
00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:33,143
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE

1130
00:33:33,145 --> 00:33:35,212
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND

1131
00:33:35,214 --> 00:33:35,645
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST

1132
00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:39,116
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND

1133
00:33:39,118 --> 00:33:40,951
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST

1134
00:33:40,953 --> 00:33:42,219
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME

1135
00:33:42,221 --> 00:33:43,653
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,

1136
00:33:43,655 --> 00:33:45,122
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND

1137
00:33:45,124 --> 00:33:47,657
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE

1138
00:33:47,659 --> 00:33:49,192
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND

1139
00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:51,128
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST

1140
00:33:51,130 --> 00:33:53,563
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND

1141
00:33:53,565 --> 00:33:55,699
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ I WAS SO BROKEN

1142
00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:59,036
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ I WAS SO BROKEN
MY HEART WAS AN EMPTY SPACE

1143
00:33:59,038 --> 00:33:59,669
♪ I WAS SO BROKEN
MY HEART WAS AN EMPTY SPACE
♪ LIFE WAS A JOKE 'TIL

1144
00:33:59,671 --> 00:34:03,140
MY HEART WAS AN EMPTY SPACE
♪ LIFE WAS A JOKE 'TIL
THE MOMENT I SAW YOUR FACE

1145
00:34:03,142 --> 00:34:03,673
♪ LIFE WAS A JOKE 'TIL
THE MOMENT I SAW YOUR FACE
♪ SAW YOUR FACE

1146
00:34:03,675 --> 00:34:07,244
THE MOMENT I SAW YOUR FACE
♪ SAW YOUR FACE
SAW YOUR FACE

1147
00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:07,677
♪ SAW YOUR FACE
SAW YOUR FACE
♪ OOH

1148
00:34:07,679 --> 00:34:10,247
SAW YOUR FACE
♪ OOH
OOH

1149
00:34:10,249 --> 00:34:10,881
♪ OOH
OOH
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE

1150
00:34:10,883 --> 00:34:11,648
OOH
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE

1151
00:34:11,650 --> 00:34:14,151
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
♪ OOH

1152
00:34:14,153 --> 00:34:15,118
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
♪ OOH
OOH

1153
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,388
♪ OOH
OOH
♪ THEN I HEARD YOU SAY MY NAME

1154
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:19,656
OOH
♪ THEN I HEARD YOU SAY MY NAME
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH

1155
00:34:19,658 --> 00:34:20,590
♪ THEN I HEARD YOU SAY MY NAME
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST

1156
00:34:20,592 --> 00:34:21,124
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME

1157
00:34:21,126 --> 00:34:23,460
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,

1158
00:34:23,462 --> 00:34:23,794
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND

1159
00:34:23,796 --> 00:34:26,296
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE

1160
00:34:26,298 --> 00:34:27,130
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND

1161
00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:31,468
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST

1162
00:34:31,470 --> 00:34:31,802
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND

1163
00:34:31,804 --> 00:34:35,672
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST

1164
00:34:35,674 --> 00:34:36,840
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME

1165
00:34:36,842 --> 00:34:37,574
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,

1166
00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:39,109
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND

1167
00:34:39,111 --> 00:34:39,743
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE

1168
00:34:39,745 --> 00:34:41,745
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND

1169
00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:43,647
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST

1170
00:34:43,649 --> 00:34:45,115
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND

1171
00:34:45,117 --> 00:34:47,651
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN

1172
00:34:47,653 --> 00:34:50,854
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN
AGAIN

1173
00:34:50,856 --> 00:34:51,354
♪ OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN
AGAIN
OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN, YEAH

1174
00:34:51,356 --> 00:34:53,123
AGAIN
OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN, YEAH
AGAIN

1175
00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:53,990
OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN, YEAH
AGAIN
OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN

1176
00:34:53,992 --> 00:34:55,692
AGAIN
OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN
AGAIN

1177
00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:57,127
OOH-OOH-OOH, AGAIN
AGAIN
OOH-OOH-OOHH, AGAIN, YEAH

1178
00:34:57,129 --> 00:34:59,096
AGAIN
OOH-OOH-OOHH, AGAIN, YEAH
AGAIN

1179
00:34:59,098 --> 00:34:59,663
OOH-OOH-OOHH, AGAIN, YEAH
AGAIN
♪ OOH

1180
00:34:59,665 --> 00:35:07,671
AGAIN
♪ OOH
OOH

1181
00:35:07,673 --> 00:35:08,438
♪ OOH
OOH
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE

1182
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:09,039
OOH
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE

1183
00:35:09,041 --> 00:35:09,239
♪ I WAS SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
♪ OOH

1184
00:35:09,241 --> 00:35:10,841
SWEPT UP IN A WAVE
♪ OOH
OOH

1185
00:35:10,843 --> 00:35:11,641
♪ OOH
OOH
♪ I WAS FADIN' WHEN YOU CAME

1186
00:35:11,643 --> 00:35:14,644
OOH
♪ I WAS FADIN' WHEN YOU CAME
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH, YEAH

1187
00:35:14,646 --> 00:35:15,278
♪ I WAS FADIN' WHEN YOU CAME
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH, YEAH
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST

1188
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,114
YEAH-YEAH, YEAH-YEAH, YEAH
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME

1189
00:35:17,116 --> 00:35:18,849
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,

1190
00:35:18,851 --> 00:35:19,649
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND

1191
00:35:19,651 --> 00:35:21,118
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE

1192
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,653
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND

1193
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:26,423
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST

1194
00:35:26,425 --> 00:35:27,124
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND

1195
00:35:27,126 --> 00:35:29,359
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST

1196
00:35:29,361 --> 00:35:30,727
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME

1197
00:35:30,729 --> 00:35:31,661
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST, I WAS LOST
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,

1198
00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:33,130
'TIL YOU LOVED ME
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND

1199
00:35:33,132 --> 00:35:35,565
♪ NOW I'M FOUND, NOW I'M FOUND,
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE

1200
00:35:35,567 --> 00:35:37,334
NOW I'M FOUND
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND

1201
00:35:37,336 --> 00:35:39,136
♪ YEAH, YOU TOOK ME TO A PLACE
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST

1202
00:35:39,138 --> 00:35:43,440
IT WAS SAFE, IT WAS SOUND
♪ LOST, I WAS LOST
NOW I'M FOUND ♪

1203
00:35:48,846 --> 00:35:50,147
>> Stephen: MAROON 5,
EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A

1204
00:35:50,149 --> 00:35:51,114
EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
SPECIAL FAREWELL TO ALL OF THIS.

1205
00:35:51,116 --> 00:35:52,082
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
SPECIAL FAREWELL TO ALL OF THIS.
STICK AROUND.

1206
00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:10,433
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S
ALMOST IT FOR "A LATE SHOW."
BUT BEFORE WE GO, I WANTED TO

1207
00:36:10,435 --> 00:36:11,234
ALMOST IT FOR "A LATE SHOW."
BUT BEFORE WE GO, I WANTED TO
SAY SOMETHING SINCERE AND FROM

1208
00:36:11,236 --> 00:36:12,702
BUT BEFORE WE GO, I WANTED TO
SAY SOMETHING SINCERE AND FROM
THE HEART.

1209
00:36:12,704 --> 00:36:15,238
SAY SOMETHING SINCERE AND FROM
THE HEART.
AND MY WRITERS TELL ME THAT'S

1210
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:16,873
THE HEART.
AND MY WRITERS TELL ME THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT THEY'VE WRITTEN.

1211
00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:18,708
AND MY WRITERS TELL ME THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT THEY'VE WRITTEN.
WHEN WE LEFT THE ED SULLIVAN

1212
00:36:18,710 --> 00:36:19,342
EXACTLY WHAT THEY'VE WRITTEN.
WHEN WE LEFT THE ED SULLIVAN
THEATER, ON MARCH 12 OF 2020, I

1213
00:36:19,344 --> 00:36:23,280
WHEN WE LEFT THE ED SULLIVAN
THEATER, ON MARCH 12 OF 2020, I
HAD NO IDEA HOW WE WERE GOING TO

1214
00:36:23,282 --> 00:36:28,718
THEATER, ON MARCH 12 OF 2020, I
HAD NO IDEA HOW WE WERE GOING TO
DO THIS SHOW.

1215
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:30,720
HAD NO IDEA HOW WE WERE GOING TO
DO THIS SHOW.
LUCKILY, MY STAFF DID.

1216
00:36:30,722 --> 00:36:32,889
DO THIS SHOW.
LUCKILY, MY STAFF DID.
THEY DIDN'T

1217
00:36:32,891 --> 00:36:33,557
LUCKILY, MY STAFF DID.
THEY DIDN'T
BLINK AT THE EXTRAORDINARY

1218
00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:34,391
THEY DIDN'T
BLINK AT THE EXTRAORDINARY
CHALLENGE OF PRODUCING A TV SHOW

1219
00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:35,225
BLINK AT THE EXTRAORDINARY
CHALLENGE OF PRODUCING A TV SHOW
REMOTELY.

1220
00:36:35,227 --> 00:36:44,768
CHALLENGE OF PRODUCING A TV SHOW
REMOTELY.
IT SEEMED IMPOSSIBLE.

1221
00:36:44,770 --> 00:36:45,402
REMOTELY.
IT SEEMED IMPOSSIBLE.
I'D LIKE TO THANK MY FAMILY, WHO

1222
00:36:45,404 --> 00:36:47,237
IT SEEMED IMPOSSIBLE.
I'D LIKE TO THANK MY FAMILY, WHO
FOR A LARGE PART OF LAST YEAR

1223
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:48,405
I'D LIKE TO THANK MY FAMILY, WHO
FOR A LARGE PART OF LAST YEAR
WERE ALSO MY CREW.

1224
00:36:48,407 --> 00:36:50,607
FOR A LARGE PART OF LAST YEAR
WERE ALSO MY CREW.
I WANT TO THANK MY FAMILY WHO

1225
00:36:50,609 --> 00:36:53,009
WERE ALSO MY CREW.
I WANT TO THANK MY FAMILY WHO
FOR A LARGE PART OF MY LAST YEAR

1226
00:36:53,011 --> 00:36:53,343
I WANT TO THANK MY FAMILY WHO
FOR A LARGE PART OF MY LAST YEAR
WERE MY CREW.

1227
00:36:53,345 --> 00:36:54,711
FOR A LARGE PART OF MY LAST YEAR
WERE MY CREW.
I LOVE YOU AND NOT JUST BECAUSE

1228
00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:57,814
WERE MY CREW.
I LOVE YOU AND NOT JUST BECAUSE
THIS YEAR I GET TO WRITE YOU OFF

1229
00:36:57,816 --> 00:36:59,082
I LOVE YOU AND NOT JUST BECAUSE
THIS YEAR I GET TO WRITE YOU OFF
AS DEPENDENTS AND BUSINESS

1230
00:36:59,084 --> 00:37:00,717
THIS YEAR I GET TO WRITE YOU OFF
AS DEPENDENTS AND BUSINESS
EXPENSES AND I WANT TO THANK

1231
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:01,985
AS DEPENDENTS AND BUSINESS
EXPENSES AND I WANT TO THANK
YOU, THE AUDIENCE AT HOME, FOR

1232
00:37:01,987 --> 00:37:02,419
EXPENSES AND I WANT TO THANK
YOU, THE AUDIENCE AT HOME, FOR
BEING HERE, TOO.

1233
00:37:02,421 --> 00:37:04,521
YOU, THE AUDIENCE AT HOME, FOR
BEING HERE, TOO.
IT WAS A STRANGE AND SCARY YEAR

1234
00:37:04,523 --> 00:37:06,790
BEING HERE, TOO.
IT WAS A STRANGE AND SCARY YEAR
BUT IF I HAD TO BE ALONE, I'M

1235
00:37:06,792 --> 00:37:07,891
IT WAS A STRANGE AND SCARY YEAR
BUT IF I HAD TO BE ALONE, I'M
GLAD IT WAS WITH YOU.

1236
00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:08,792
BUT IF I HAD TO BE ALONE, I'M
GLAD IT WAS WITH YOU.
SO THAT'S IT!

1237
00:37:08,794 --> 00:37:11,194
GLAD IT WAS WITH YOU.
SO THAT'S IT!
MONDAY, WE FINALLY GO BACK TO

1238
00:37:11,196 --> 00:37:11,795
SO THAT'S IT!
MONDAY, WE FINALLY GO BACK TO
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER WHICH

1239
00:37:11,797 --> 00:37:14,197
MONDAY, WE FINALLY GO BACK TO
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER WHICH
MEANS THIS IS THE SERIES FINALE

1240
00:37:14,199 --> 00:37:16,433
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER WHICH
MEANS THIS IS THE SERIES FINALE
OF WHAT FOR THE PAST 15 MONTHS

1241
00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:19,436
MEANS THIS IS THE SERIES FINALE
OF WHAT FOR THE PAST 15 MONTHS
I'VE BEEN CALLING "A LATE SHOW."

1242
00:37:19,438 --> 00:37:20,437
OF WHAT FOR THE PAST 15 MONTHS
I'VE BEEN CALLING "A LATE SHOW."
I'VE SO MANY MEMORIES FROM THIS

1243
00:37:20,439 --> 00:37:26,610
I'VE BEEN CALLING "A LATE SHOW."
I'VE SO MANY MEMORIES FROM THIS
ROOM.

1244
00:37:26,612 --> 00:37:27,244
I'VE SO MANY MEMORIES FROM THIS
ROOM.
LOOKING IN THIS CAMERA.

1245
00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:30,714
ROOM.
LOOKING IN THIS CAMERA.
LOOKING IN THAT ONE.

1246
00:37:30,716 --> 00:37:32,315
LOOKING IN THIS CAMERA.
LOOKING IN THAT ONE.
THE TIME I STOOD UP OVER THERE.

1247
00:37:32,317 --> 00:37:33,149
LOOKING IN THAT ONE.
THE TIME I STOOD UP OVER THERE.
THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENE

1248
00:37:33,151 --> 00:37:35,252
THE TIME I STOOD UP OVER THERE.
THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENE
HAPPENED.

1249
00:37:35,254 --> 00:37:37,954
THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENE
HAPPENED.
[LAUGHTER]

1250
00:37:37,956 --> 00:37:38,555
HAPPENED.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT, ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME

1251
00:37:38,557 --> 00:37:39,222
[LAUGHTER]
BUT, ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME
TO AN END.

1252
00:37:39,224 --> 00:37:41,091
BUT, ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME
TO AN END.
ALSO, THIS.

1253
00:37:41,093 --> 00:37:42,158
TO AN END.
ALSO, THIS.
AND WHILE WE ACCEPT THAT WE HAD

1254
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:42,759
ALSO, THIS.
AND WHILE WE ACCEPT THAT WE HAD
TO SPEND THE LAST 15 MONTHS IN

1255
00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:45,428
AND WHILE WE ACCEPT THAT WE HAD
TO SPEND THE LAST 15 MONTHS IN
QUARANTINE, I THINK IT'S CRAZY

1256
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:46,730
TO SPEND THE LAST 15 MONTHS IN
QUARANTINE, I THINK IT'S CRAZY
TO LET THAT DEFINE WHO WE ARE.

1257
00:37:46,732 --> 00:37:47,364
QUARANTINE, I THINK IT'S CRAZY
TO LET THAT DEFINE WHO WE ARE.
AMERICANS LIKE TO SEE EACH OTHER

1258
00:37:47,366 --> 00:37:51,234
TO LET THAT DEFINE WHO WE ARE.
AMERICANS LIKE TO SEE EACH OTHER
IN THE SIMPLEST TERMS, IN THE

1259
00:37:51,236 --> 00:37:54,204
AMERICANS LIKE TO SEE EACH OTHER
IN THE SIMPLEST TERMS, IN THE
MOST CONVENIENT DEFINITIONS.

1260
00:37:54,206 --> 00:37:54,804
IN THE SIMPLEST TERMS, IN THE
MOST CONVENIENT DEFINITIONS.
BUT WE'VE LEARNED THAT EACH OF

1261
00:37:54,806 --> 00:37:56,773
MOST CONVENIENT DEFINITIONS.
BUT WE'VE LEARNED THAT EACH OF
US IS A BRAIN, AN ATHLETE, A

1262
00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:59,242
BUT WE'VE LEARNED THAT EACH OF
US IS A BRAIN, AN ATHLETE, A
BASKET CASE, A PRINCESS, AND A

1263
00:37:59,244 --> 00:38:03,246
US IS A BRAIN, AN ATHLETE, A
BASKET CASE, A PRINCESS, AND A
CRIMINAL...

1264
00:38:03,248 --> 00:38:07,250
BASKET CASE, A PRINCESS, AND A
CRIMINAL...
SINCERELY YOURS, "A LATE SHOW."

1265
00:38:07,252 --> 00:38:11,221
CRIMINAL...
SINCERELY YOURS, "A LATE SHOW."
("DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME")

1266
00:38:11,223 --> 00:38:26,936
SINCERELY YOURS, "A LATE SHOW."
("DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME")
♪

1267
00:38:26,938 --> 00:38:28,972
("DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME")
♪
♪ WON'T YOU COME SEE ABOUT ME

1268
00:38:28,974 --> 00:38:31,241
♪
♪ WON'T YOU COME SEE ABOUT ME
♪ I'LL BE ALONE, DANCING YOU

1269
00:38:31,243 --> 00:38:31,708
♪ WON'T YOU COME SEE ABOUT ME
♪ I'LL BE ALONE, DANCING YOU
KNOW IT BABY

1270
00:38:31,710 --> 00:38:39,015
♪ I'LL BE ALONE, DANCING YOU
KNOW IT BABY
♪ TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES AND

1271
00:38:39,017 --> 00:38:39,215
KNOW IT BABY
♪ TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES AND
DOUBTS

1272
00:38:39,217 --> 00:38:42,352
♪ TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES AND
DOUBTS
♪ GIVE ME EVERYTHING INSIDE AND

1273
00:38:42,354 --> 00:38:42,719
DOUBTS
♪ GIVE ME EVERYTHING INSIDE AND
OUT

1274
00:38:42,721 --> 00:38:47,223
♪ GIVE ME EVERYTHING INSIDE AND
OUT
♪ LOVE'S STRANGE SO WE LEARN

1275
00:38:47,225 --> 00:38:48,858
OUT
♪ LOVE'S STRANGE SO WE LEARN
♪ THINK OF THE TENDER THINGS

1276
00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:49,459
♪ LOVE'S STRANGE SO WE LEARN
♪ THINK OF THE TENDER THINGS
THAT WE WERE WORKING ON

1277
00:38:49,461 --> 00:38:54,664
♪ THINK OF THE TENDER THINGS
THAT WE WERE WORKING ON
♪ SLOW CHANGE MAY PULL US APART

1278
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:59,903
THAT WE WERE WORKING ON
♪ SLOW CHANGE MAY PULL US APART
♪ ONE LACK ANY HEART

1279
00:38:59,905 --> 00:39:04,441
♪ SLOW CHANGE MAY PULL US APART
♪ ONE LACK ANY HEART
♪ DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME

1280
00:39:04,443 --> 00:39:11,014
♪ ONE LACK ANY HEART
♪ DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME
♪ DON'T, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T

1281
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:16,720
♪ DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME
♪ DON'T, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T
♪ DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME

1282
00:39:16,722 --> 00:39:19,456
♪ DON'T, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T
♪ DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME
♪ WILL YOU STAND ABOVE ME

1283
00:39:19,458 --> 00:39:26,796
♪ DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME
♪ WILL YOU STAND ABOVE ME
♪ LOOK MY WAY, NEVER LOVE ME

1284
00:39:26,798 --> 00:39:30,934
♪ WILL YOU STAND ABOVE ME
♪ LOOK MY WAY, NEVER LOVE ME
♪ RAIN KEEPING FALLING, RAIN

1285
00:39:30,936 --> 00:39:35,238
♪ LOOK MY WAY, NEVER LOVE ME
♪ RAIN KEEPING FALLING, RAIN
KEEPS FALLING DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

1286
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:37,974
♪ RAIN KEEPING FALLING, RAIN
KEEPS FALLING DOWN, DOWN, DOWN
♪ WILL YOU RECOGNIZE ME

1287
00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:42,245
KEEPS FALLING DOWN, DOWN, DOWN
♪ WILL YOU RECOGNIZE ME
♪ CALL MY NAME OR WALK ON BY

1288
00:39:42,247 --> 00:39:46,649
♪ WILL YOU RECOGNIZE ME
♪ CALL MY NAME OR WALK ON BY
♪ RAIN KEEPS FALLING, RAIN KEEPS

1289
00:39:46,651 --> 00:39:52,021
♪ CALL MY NAME OR WALK ON BY
♪ RAIN KEEPS FALLING, RAIN KEEPS
FALLING DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

1290
00:39:52,023 --> 00:40:00,697
♪ RAIN KEEPS FALLING, RAIN KEEPS
FALLING DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN
♪ HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,

1291
00:40:00,699 --> 00:40:01,698
FALLING DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN
♪ HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>

1292
00:40:01,700 --> 00:40:02,098
♪ HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>
Captioned by

1293
00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,233
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>
Captioned by
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>

1294
00:40:03,235 --> 00:40:10,273
Captioned by
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>
access.wgbh.org