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<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>
>> IT'S A SICKNESS THAT IS NEW
TO DOCTORS, AND AN ATTORNEY IS

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00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,444
>> IT'S A SICKNESS THAT IS NEW
TO DOCTORS, AND AN ATTORNEY IS
USING IT AS AN EXCUSE FOR

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00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:13,445
TO DOCTORS, AND AN ATTORNEY IS
USING IT AS AN EXCUSE FOR
SUSPECTED CAPITOL HILL RIOTERS.

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00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:16,048
USING IT AS AN EXCUSE FOR
SUSPECTED CAPITOL HILL RIOTERS.
IT IS CALLED "FOXITIS."

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00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,483
SUSPECTED CAPITOL HILL RIOTERS.
IT IS CALLED "FOXITIS."
YOU KNOW FOXITIS-- A.K.A.,

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IT IS CALLED "FOXITIS."
YOU KNOW FOXITIS-- A.K.A.,
WATCHING TOO MUCH FOX NEWS.

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00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:20,953
YOU KNOW FOXITIS-- A.K.A.,
WATCHING TOO MUCH FOX NEWS.
BUT WILL THE JUDGE ACTUALLY

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00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:21,453
WATCHING TOO MUCH FOX NEWS.
BUT WILL THE JUDGE ACTUALLY
BUY IT?

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00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:24,056
BUT WILL THE JUDGE ACTUALLY
BUY IT?
>> ARE YOU OR A LOVED ONE

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BUY IT?
>> ARE YOU OR A LOVED ONE
SUFFERING FROM FOXITIS, A

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>> ARE YOU OR A LOVED ONE
SUFFERING FROM FOXITIS, A
SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION

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SUFFERING FROM FOXITIS, A
SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION
AFFECTING MANY OLDER AMERICANS

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SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION
AFFECTING MANY OLDER AMERICANS
AND PEOPLE WHO ARE HORDING

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AFFECTING MANY OLDER AMERICANS
AND PEOPLE WHO ARE HORDING
CANNED GOODS IN THEIR SHEDS.

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AND PEOPLE WHO ARE HORDING
CANNED GOODS IN THEIR SHEDS.
SYMPTOMS OF FOXITIS INCLUDE:

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THANKFULLY, THERE IS A CURE.
INTRODUCING "OFF."
FROM THE MAKERS OF MUTE AND

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INTRODUCING "OFF."
FROM THE MAKERS OF MUTE AND
CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

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>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:

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WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES

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TONIGHT:
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES
FORMER FIRST LADY MICHELLE

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PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES
FORMER FIRST LADY MICHELLE
OBAMA, WITH A SPECIAL APPEARANCE

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FORMER FIRST LADY MICHELLE
OBAMA, WITH A SPECIAL APPEARANCE
BY SETH ROGEN.

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OBAMA, WITH A SPECIAL APPEARANCE
BY SETH ROGEN.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY

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BY SETH ROGEN.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.

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AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S

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THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!

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BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: OH, HEY.

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STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: OH, HEY.
YOU JUST CAUGHT ME JAMMING.

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>> Stephen: OH, HEY.
YOU JUST CAUGHT ME JAMMING.
WELCOME-- THAT'S ALL WE DO IS

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YOU JUST CAUGHT ME JAMMING.
WELCOME-- THAT'S ALL WE DO IS
JAM IN HERE BETWEEN SHOWS.

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WELCOME-- THAT'S ALL WE DO IS
JAM IN HERE BETWEEN SHOWS.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

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JAM IN HERE BETWEEN SHOWS.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

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WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

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YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
FOLKS, I HAVE A F PEP IN MY STE.

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I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
FOLKS, I HAVE A F PEP IN MY STE.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOPEFUL SIGNS

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FOLKS, I HAVE A F PEP IN MY STE.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOPEFUL SIGNS
THAT, AT LONG LAST, AMERICA MAY

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THERE ARE SO MANY HOPEFUL SIGNS
THAT, AT LONG LAST, AMERICA MAY
BE EMERGING FROM THE PANDEMIC.

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THAT, AT LONG LAST, AMERICA MAY
BE EMERGING FROM THE PANDEMIC.
PEOPLE ARE WALKING AROUND

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BE EMERGING FROM THE PANDEMIC.
PEOPLE ARE WALKING AROUND
OUTSIDE WITHOUT MASKS, THIS

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PEOPLE ARE WALKING AROUND
OUTSIDE WITHOUT MASKS, THIS
WEEKEND FAMILIES WERE ABLE TO

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OUTSIDE WITHOUT MASKS, THIS
WEEKEND FAMILIES WERE ABLE TO
COME TOGETHER SAFELY FOR

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WEEKEND FAMILIES WERE ABLE TO
COME TOGETHER SAFELY FOR
MOTHER'S DAY, AND BENNIFER IS

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COME TOGETHER SAFELY FOR
MOTHER'S DAY, AND BENNIFER IS
BACK!

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MOTHER'S DAY, AND BENNIFER IS
BACK!
NATURE IS HEALING.

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BACK!
NATURE IS HEALING.
OH, AND THERE'S MORE GOOD NEWS

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NATURE IS HEALING.
OH, AND THERE'S MORE GOOD NEWS
ON THE HORIZON.

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OH, AND THERE'S MORE GOOD NEWS
ON THE HORIZON.
AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN

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ON THE HORIZON.
AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN
TONIGHT'S "THE VAX-SCENE."

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AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN
TONIGHT'S "THE VAX-SCENE."
♪ GET YOUR VACCINE

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TONIGHT'S "THE VAX-SCENE."
♪ GET YOUR VACCINE
AND DON'T GET SICK!

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♪ GET YOUR VACCINE
AND DON'T GET SICK!
♪ GO GET YOUR VACCINE

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AND DON'T GET SICK!
♪ GO GET YOUR VACCINE
DON'T BE A DICK!

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♪ GO GET YOUR VACCINE
DON'T BE A DICK!
♪ JUST ROLL UP THAT ARM

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DON'T BE A DICK!
♪ JUST ROLL UP THAT ARM
SHOW OFF YOUR PECKS!

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♪ JUST ROLL UP THAT ARM
SHOW OFF YOUR PECKS!
♪  NO NEED FOR ALARM

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SHOW OFF YOUR PECKS!
♪  NO NEED FOR ALARM
NO MICROCHIP!

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♪  NO NEED FOR ALARM
NO MICROCHIP!
♪ LET'S GO BREATHE SOME AIR!

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NO MICROCHIP!
♪ LET'S GO BREATHE SOME AIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!

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♪ LET'S GO BREATHE SOME AIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!
SQUEEZE INTO YOUR SKINNY PANTS!♪

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>> Stephen: OH, "IT" WAS THE
CLOWN!
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>

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CLOWN!
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
CURRENTLY, MORE THAN 58% OF U.S.

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<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
CURRENTLY, MORE THAN 58% OF U.S.
ADULTS HAVE RECEIVED AT LEAST

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CURRENTLY, MORE THAN 58% OF U.S.
ADULTS HAVE RECEIVED AT LEAST
ONE SHOT, WHICH HAS LED

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ADULTS HAVE RECEIVED AT LEAST
ONE SHOT, WHICH HAS LED
DOCTORS TO SAY, "THIS SUMMER IS

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ONE SHOT, WHICH HAS LED
DOCTORS TO SAY, "THIS SUMMER IS
GOING TO SEEM SO MUCH CLOSER TO

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DOCTORS TO SAY, "THIS SUMMER IS
GOING TO SEEM SO MUCH CLOSER TO
NORMAL THAN WE'VE HAD IN A VERY

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GOING TO SEEM SO MUCH CLOSER TO
NORMAL THAN WE'VE HAD IN A VERY
LONG TIME."

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NORMAL THAN WE'VE HAD IN A VERY
LONG TIME."
YES!

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LONG TIME."
YES!
A NORMAL SUMMER!

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YES!
A NORMAL SUMMER!
GOING UP TO THE LODGE WITH THE

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A NORMAL SUMMER!
GOING UP TO THE LODGE WITH THE
FAMILY, LEARNING HOW TO SAMBA

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GOING UP TO THE LODGE WITH THE
FAMILY, LEARNING HOW TO SAMBA
FROM THAT ROGUE DANCE

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FAMILY, LEARNING HOW TO SAMBA
FROM THAT ROGUE DANCE
INSTRUCTOR-- EVEN THOUGH MY

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FROM THAT ROGUE DANCE
INSTRUCTOR-- EVEN THOUGH MY
PARENTS DON'T APPROVE-- THEN

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INSTRUCTOR-- EVEN THOUGH MY
PARENTS DON'T APPROVE-- THEN
SHOWING EVERYONE I'M AN

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PARENTS DON'T APPROVE-- THEN
SHOWING EVERYONE I'M AN
INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO'S HAD THE

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SHOWING EVERYONE I'M AN
INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO'S HAD THE
TIME OF HER LIFE, AND I'VE NEVER

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INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO'S HAD THE
TIME OF HER LIFE, AND I'VE NEVER
FELT THIS WAY BEFORE!

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TIME OF HER LIFE, AND I'VE NEVER
FELT THIS WAY BEFORE!
A WHOLE NEW CATEGORY OF PEOPLE

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FELT THIS WAY BEFORE!
A WHOLE NEW CATEGORY OF PEOPLE
ARE NOW ELIGIBLE, BECAUSE

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A WHOLE NEW CATEGORY OF PEOPLE
ARE NOW ELIGIBLE, BECAUSE
YESTERDAY, THE F.D.A. AUTHORIZED

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ARE NOW ELIGIBLE, BECAUSE
YESTERDAY, THE F.D.A. AUTHORIZED
THE PFIZER CORONAVIRUS VACCINE

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YESTERDAY, THE F.D.A. AUTHORIZED
THE PFIZER CORONAVIRUS VACCINE
FOR ADOLESCENTS 12 TO 15 YEARS

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THE PFIZER CORONAVIRUS VACCINE
FOR ADOLESCENTS 12 TO 15 YEARS
OLD.

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FOR ADOLESCENTS 12 TO 15 YEARS
OLD.
T.B.H., THAT'S GUCCI.

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OLD.
T.B.H., THAT'S GUCCI.
BEING ABLE TO TOTES-HUG YOUR FAM

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T.B.H., THAT'S GUCCI.
BEING ABLE TO TOTES-HUG YOUR FAM
IS LIT.

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BEING ABLE TO TOTES-HUG YOUR FAM
IS LIT.
I SHIP ADOLESCENTS AGES 12 TO

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IS LIT.
I SHIP ADOLESCENTS AGES 12 TO
15 AND THIS VACCINE.

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I SHIP ADOLESCENTS AGES 12 TO
15 AND THIS VACCINE.
HUNDO P.

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15 AND THIS VACCINE.
HUNDO P.
I PITY THE FOOL.

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HUNDO P.
I PITY THE FOOL.
DON'T DO DRUGS-- EXCEPT FOR THE

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I PITY THE FOOL.
DON'T DO DRUGS-- EXCEPT FOR THE
VACCINE.

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DON'T DO DRUGS-- EXCEPT FOR THE
VACCINE.
BUT MANY ADULTS ARE HESITANT TO

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VACCINE.
BUT MANY ADULTS ARE HESITANT TO
GET THE VACCINE, SO SOME PLACES

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BUT MANY ADULTS ARE HESITANT TO
GET THE VACCINE, SO SOME PLACES
ARE OFFERING REWARDS, LIKE A

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GET THE VACCINE, SO SOME PLACES
ARE OFFERING REWARDS, LIKE A
BREWERY IN BUFFALO OFFERING FREE

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ARE OFFERING REWARDS, LIKE A
BREWERY IN BUFFALO OFFERING FREE
BEER AS AN INCENTIVE FOR PEOPLE

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BREWERY IN BUFFALO OFFERING FREE
BEER AS AN INCENTIVE FOR PEOPLE
TO GET VACCINATED.

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BEER AS AN INCENTIVE FOR PEOPLE
TO GET VACCINATED.
FINALLY, A WAY TO GET THE

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TO GET VACCINATED.
FINALLY, A WAY TO GET THE
RESIDENTS OF BUFFALO DRINKING

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FINALLY, A WAY TO GET THE
RESIDENTS OF BUFFALO DRINKING
BEER!

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RESIDENTS OF BUFFALO DRINKING
BEER!
MEANWHILE, DOWN STATE, HERE IN

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BEER!
MEANWHILE, DOWN STATE, HERE IN
NEW YORK CITY, THE CITY WILL

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MEANWHILE, DOWN STATE, HERE IN
NEW YORK CITY, THE CITY WILL
START OFFERING VACCINES AT

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NEW YORK CITY, THE CITY WILL
START OFFERING VACCINES AT
SUBWAY STOPS.

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START OFFERING VACCINES AT
SUBWAY STOPS.
BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING

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SUBWAY STOPS.
BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING
EVERYBODY THINKS IN THE SUBWAY

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BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING
EVERYBODY THINKS IN THE SUBWAY
IT'S, "I WISH I COULD HAVE A

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EVERYBODY THINKS IN THE SUBWAY
IT'S, "I WISH I COULD HAVE A
MEDICAL PROCEDURE HERE."

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IT'S, "I WISH I COULD HAVE A
MEDICAL PROCEDURE HERE."
THERE WON'T BE A NEED FOR A

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MEDICAL PROCEDURE HERE."
THERE WON'T BE A NEED FOR A
FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT, BECAUSE

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THERE WON'T BE A NEED FOR A
FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT, BECAUSE
OFFICIALS WILL USE THE JOHNSON &

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FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT, BECAUSE
OFFICIALS WILL USE THE JOHNSON &
JOHNSON VACCINE AT THE STATIONS.

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OFFICIALS WILL USE THE JOHNSON &
JOHNSON VACCINE AT THE STATIONS.
SURE, THEY SAY THAT, BUT HALFWAY

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JOHNSON VACCINE AT THE STATIONS.
SURE, THEY SAY THAT, BUT HALFWAY
THROUGH, THEY'LL SWITCH TO

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SURE, THEY SAY THAT, BUT HALFWAY
THROUGH, THEY'LL SWITCH TO
MODERNA FOR NO REASON, AND THEN

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THROUGH, THEY'LL SWITCH TO
MODERNA FOR NO REASON, AND THEN
YOU'LL HAVE TO GET OFF AT 14th

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MODERNA FOR NO REASON, AND THEN
YOU'LL HAVE TO GET OFF AT 14th
STREET TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER SHOT.

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YOU'LL HAVE TO GET OFF AT 14th
STREET TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER SHOT.
FOR THOSE PEOPLE NOT IN NEW

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STREET TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER SHOT.
FOR THOSE PEOPLE NOT IN NEW
YORK, GETTING A SHOT MIGHT NOT

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FOR THOSE PEOPLE NOT IN NEW
YORK, GETTING A SHOT MIGHT NOT
BE AS EASY AS GETTING ON A

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YORK, GETTING A SHOT MIGHT NOT
BE AS EASY AS GETTING ON A
SUBWAY.

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BE AS EASY AS GETTING ON A
SUBWAY.
BUT EARLY TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN

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SUBWAY.
BUT EARLY TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN
ANNOUNCED SOME HELP FOR THAT.

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BUT EARLY TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN
ANNOUNCED SOME HELP FOR THAT.
>> TO ENSURE THAT TRANSPORTATION

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ANNOUNCED SOME HELP FOR THAT.
>> TO ENSURE THAT TRANSPORTATION
IS LESS OF A BARRIER, FROM MAY

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>> TO ENSURE THAT TRANSPORTATION
IS LESS OF A BARRIER, FROM MAY
24 TO JULY 4, UBER AND LYFT--

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IS LESS OF A BARRIER, FROM MAY
24 TO JULY 4, UBER AND LYFT--
UBER AND LYFT ARE BOTH GONNA

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24 TO JULY 4, UBER AND LYFT--
UBER AND LYFT ARE BOTH GONNA
OFFER EVERYONE FREE RIDES TO AND

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UBER AND LYFT ARE BOTH GONNA
OFFER EVERYONE FREE RIDES TO AND
FROM VACCINATION SITES.

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OFFER EVERYONE FREE RIDES TO AND
FROM VACCINATION SITES.
I THINK THAT IS REALLY STEPPING

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FROM VACCINATION SITES.
I THINK THAT IS REALLY STEPPING
UP.

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I THINK THAT IS REALLY STEPPING
UP.
BOTH UBER AND LYFT, FREE RIDES

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00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,450
UP.
BOTH UBER AND LYFT, FREE RIDES
TO-- THEY'LL WAIT, AND FROM--

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BOTH UBER AND LYFT, FREE RIDES
TO-- THEY'LL WAIT, AND FROM--
THEY'LL TAKE YOU BACK HOME.

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TO-- THEY'LL WAIT, AND FROM--
THEY'LL TAKE YOU BACK HOME.
>> Stephen: THIS IS GREAT FOR

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THEY'LL TAKE YOU BACK HOME.
>> Stephen: THIS IS GREAT FOR
PATIENTS, AND EVEN GREATER

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>> Stephen: THIS IS GREAT FOR
PATIENTS, AND EVEN GREATER
FOR ANY UBER DRIVERS WHO HAVE

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PATIENTS, AND EVEN GREATER
FOR ANY UBER DRIVERS WHO HAVE
THOUGHT, "I LOVE WORKING DURING

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FOR ANY UBER DRIVERS WHO HAVE
THOUGHT, "I LOVE WORKING DURING
THE PANDEMIC, BUT I JUST WISH

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THOUGHT, "I LOVE WORKING DURING
THE PANDEMIC, BUT I JUST WISH
THERE WAS A WAY TO MAKE SURE

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THE PANDEMIC, BUT I JUST WISH
THERE WAS A WAY TO MAKE SURE
THAT 100% OF MY PASSENGERS WERE

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THERE WAS A WAY TO MAKE SURE
THAT 100% OF MY PASSENGERS WERE
UNVACCINATED."

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THAT 100% OF MY PASSENGERS WERE
UNVACCINATED."
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO DON'T

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00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:01,800
UNVACCINATED."
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO DON'T
NEED ANY HELP GETTING A DOSE,

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00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,069
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO DON'T
NEED ANY HELP GETTING A DOSE,
LIKE IN TUSCANY, WHERE AN

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00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,437
NEED ANY HELP GETTING A DOSE,
LIKE IN TUSCANY, WHERE AN
ITALIAN WOMAN WAS ACCIDENTALLY

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00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:08,640
LIKE IN TUSCANY, WHERE AN
ITALIAN WOMAN WAS ACCIDENTALLY
GIVEN SIX SHOTS OF COVID-19

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00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,441
ITALIAN WOMAN WAS ACCIDENTALLY
GIVEN SIX SHOTS OF COVID-19
VACCINE.

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00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,075
GIVEN SIX SHOTS OF COVID-19
VACCINE.
IT WAS ALL PART OF OLIVE

152
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:13,445
VACCINE.
IT WAS ALL PART OF OLIVE
GARDEN'S FAMOUS PROMOTION,

153
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,113
IT WAS ALL PART OF OLIVE
GARDEN'S FAMOUS PROMOTION,
"UNLIMITED NEEDLE STICKS."

154
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,081
GARDEN'S FAMOUS PROMOTION,
"UNLIMITED NEEDLE STICKS."
NOW, WHILE THIS LADY GOT A

155
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,482
"UNLIMITED NEEDLE STICKS."
NOW, WHILE THIS LADY GOT A
LITTLE TOO MUCH VAX, THAT'S NOT

156
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,452
NOW, WHILE THIS LADY GOT A
LITTLE TOO MUCH VAX, THAT'S NOT
THE CASE EVERYWHERE, LIKE IN

157
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,420
LITTLE TOO MUCH VAX, THAT'S NOT
THE CASE EVERYWHERE, LIKE IN
INDIA, WHERE THE HUGE SURGE IN

158
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,087
THE CASE EVERYWHERE, LIKE IN
INDIA, WHERE THE HUGE SURGE IN
CASES, ALONG WITH A VACCINE

159
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,090
INDIA, WHERE THE HUGE SURGE IN
CASES, ALONG WITH A VACCINE
SHORTAGE, IS PUSHING PEOPLE TO

160
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:25,691
CASES, ALONG WITH A VACCINE
SHORTAGE, IS PUSHING PEOPLE TO
TRY UNCONVENTIONAL TREATMENTS,

161
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:28,060
SHORTAGE, IS PUSHING PEOPLE TO
TRY UNCONVENTIONAL TREATMENTS,
SO MUCH SO THAT DOCTORS ARE

162
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,461
TRY UNCONVENTIONAL TREATMENTS,
SO MUCH SO THAT DOCTORS ARE
TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT

163
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,096
SO MUCH SO THAT DOCTORS ARE
TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT
THERE'S NO EVIDENCE SMEARING

164
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,432
TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT
THERE'S NO EVIDENCE SMEARING
YOURSELF IN COW DUNG CURES

165
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:34,866
THERE'S NO EVIDENCE SMEARING
YOURSELF IN COW DUNG CURES
CORONAVIRUS.

166
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:35,467
YOURSELF IN COW DUNG CURES
CORONAVIRUS.
THOUGH, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT

167
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:40,072
CORONAVIRUS.
THOUGH, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT
WILL KEEP PEOPLE SIX FEET AWAY.

168
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:40,806
THOUGH, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT
WILL KEEP PEOPLE SIX FEET AWAY.
THERE'S A NEW BOOK COMING OUT

169
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,307
WILL KEEP PEOPLE SIX FEET AWAY.
THERE'S A NEW BOOK COMING OUT
ABOUT THE SECRET SERVICE, FOR

170
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,743
THERE'S A NEW BOOK COMING OUT
ABOUT THE SECRET SERVICE, FOR
THOSE OF YOU WHO READ.

171
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,045
ABOUT THE SECRET SERVICE, FOR
THOSE OF YOU WHO READ.
AND THIS BOOK HAS SOME JUICY

172
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:51,683
THOSE OF YOU WHO READ.
AND THIS BOOK HAS SOME JUICY
DETAILS ABOUT FORMER

173
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,250
AND THIS BOOK HAS SOME JUICY
DETAILS ABOUT FORMER
PRESIDENT "SHAVED GRIMACE."

174
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,185
DETAILS ABOUT FORMER
PRESIDENT "SHAVED GRIMACE."
ACCORDING TO THE BOOK, THE

175
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:53,752
PRESIDENT "SHAVED GRIMACE."
ACCORDING TO THE BOOK, THE
FORMER FIRST FAMILY GOT VERY

176
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,120
ACCORDING TO THE BOOK, THE
FORMER FIRST FAMILY GOT VERY
CLOSE TO THEIR SECRET SERVICE

177
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:55,854
FORMER FIRST FAMILY GOT VERY
CLOSE TO THEIR SECRET SERVICE
DETAILS.

178
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,621
CLOSE TO THEIR SECRET SERVICE
DETAILS.
IN FACT, AT ONE POINT VANESSA,

179
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:57,456
DETAILS.
IN FACT, AT ONE POINT VANESSA,
WIFE OF DON JR., STARTED DATING

180
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,090
IN FACT, AT ONE POINT VANESSA,
WIFE OF DON JR., STARTED DATING
ONE OF THE SECRET SERVICE

181
00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:58,657
WIFE OF DON JR., STARTED DATING
ONE OF THE SECRET SERVICE
AGENTS.

182
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,426
ONE OF THE SECRET SERVICE
AGENTS.
I'D SAY THAT'S UNPROFESSIONAL,

183
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,594
AGENTS.
I'D SAY THAT'S UNPROFESSIONAL,
BUT IT WAS SECRET.

184
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,862
I'D SAY THAT'S UNPROFESSIONAL,
BUT IT WAS SECRET.
AND I'M GUESSING SOMEONE WAS

185
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,932
BUT IT WAS SECRET.
AND I'M GUESSING SOMEONE WAS
BEING SERVICED.

186
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:07,566
AND I'M GUESSING SOMEONE WAS
BEING SERVICED.
BUT NOT EVERYBODY LOVED THEIR

187
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,734
BEING SERVICED.
BUT NOT EVERYBODY LOVED THEIR
SECRET SERVICE GUARDS SO

188
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:09,368
BUT NOT EVERYBODY LOVED THEIR
SECRET SERVICE GUARDS SO
LITERALLY, PARTICULARLY NOT THE

189
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,001
SECRET SERVICE GUARDS SO
LITERALLY, PARTICULARLY NOT THE
MARGINALLY SENTIENT SPRAY TAN IN

190
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,604
LITERALLY, PARTICULARLY NOT THE
MARGINALLY SENTIENT SPRAY TAN IN
THE OVAL OFFICE.

191
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:13,438
MARGINALLY SENTIENT SPRAY TAN IN
THE OVAL OFFICE.
APPARENTLY, THE FORMER PRESIDENT

192
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,108
THE OVAL OFFICE.
APPARENTLY, THE FORMER PRESIDENT
WAS CONSUMED WITH GETTING

193
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,509
APPARENTLY, THE FORMER PRESIDENT
WAS CONSUMED WITH GETTING
OVERWEIGHT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS

194
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,677
WAS CONSUMED WITH GETTING
OVERWEIGHT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
REMOVED FROM THEIR POSTS, SAYING

195
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,446
OVERWEIGHT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
REMOVED FROM THEIR POSTS, SAYING
HE WANTED "THESE FAT GUYS OFF

196
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:22,080
REMOVED FROM THEIR POSTS, SAYING
HE WANTED "THESE FAT GUYS OFF
MY DETAIL."

197
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:25,450
HE WANTED "THESE FAT GUYS OFF
MY DETAIL."
HE WAS PARTICULARLY UPSET WITH

198
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:26,184
MY DETAIL."
HE WAS PARTICULARLY UPSET WITH
THE AGENT THAT THEY POSTED IN

199
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,119
HE WAS PARTICULARLY UPSET WITH
THE AGENT THAT THEY POSTED IN
HIS BATHROOM MIRROR EVERY

200
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:27,652
THE AGENT THAT THEY POSTED IN
HIS BATHROOM MIRROR EVERY
MORNING.

201
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,253
HIS BATHROOM MIRROR EVERY
MORNING.
THAT WASN'T THE ONLY COMPLAINT

202
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,454
MORNING.
THAT WASN'T THE ONLY COMPLAINT
FROM THE "OAF OF OFFICE."

203
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:33,458
THAT WASN'T THE ONLY COMPLAINT
FROM THE "OAF OF OFFICE."
HE ALSO PROPOSED A

204
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,092
FROM THE "OAF OF OFFICE."
HE ALSO PROPOSED A
MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR RENOVATION

205
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,362
HE ALSO PROPOSED A
MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR RENOVATION
"TO DIG UP AND REPLACE ALL THE

206
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:37,996
MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR RENOVATION
"TO DIG UP AND REPLACE ALL THE
LOWERED GATES, BECAUSE HE HATED

207
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,631
"TO DIG UP AND REPLACE ALL THE
LOWERED GATES, BECAUSE HE HATED
THE BUMP HE FELT WHEN HIS LIMO

208
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,098
LOWERED GATES, BECAUSE HE HATED
THE BUMP HE FELT WHEN HIS LIMO
DROVE OVER THEM."

209
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,433
THE BUMP HE FELT WHEN HIS LIMO
DROVE OVER THEM."
I'M SURPRISED THE FORMER

210
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,535
DROVE OVER THEM."
I'M SURPRISED THE FORMER
PRESIDENT COULDN'T HANDLE THAT.

211
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,437
I'M SURPRISED THE FORMER
PRESIDENT COULDN'T HANDLE THAT.
RUMOR IS, DON JR. LOVES A LITTLE

212
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:49,441
PRESIDENT COULDN'T HANDLE THAT.
RUMOR IS, DON JR. LOVES A LITTLE
BUMP.

213
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,876
RUMOR IS, DON JR. LOVES A LITTLE
BUMP.
HEY, SPEAKING OF RICH PEOPLE:

214
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:51,543
BUMP.
HEY, SPEAKING OF RICH PEOPLE:
BOATS!

215
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:52,110
HEY, SPEAKING OF RICH PEOPLE:
BOATS!
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE

216
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:56,782
BOATS!
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE
LATEST BOAT NEWS IN MY NEW

217
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,449
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE
LATEST BOAT NEWS IN MY NEW
SEAFARING SEGMENT, "YACHT

218
00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:01,420
LATEST BOAT NEWS IN MY NEW
SEAFARING SEGMENT, "YACHT
WACHTCH!"

219
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,188
SEAFARING SEGMENT, "YACHT
WACHTCH!"
>> OH, REGATTA GET A YACHT!

220
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,089
WACHTCH!"
>> OH, REGATTA GET A YACHT!
>> Stephen: THE PANDEMIC HAS

221
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,457
>> OH, REGATTA GET A YACHT!
>> Stephen: THE PANDEMIC HAS
BEEN A BOOM TIME FOR

222
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:08,093
>> Stephen: THE PANDEMIC HAS
BEEN A BOOM TIME FOR
BILLIONAIRES, AND THEY ARE USING

223
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,161
BEEN A BOOM TIME FOR
BILLIONAIRES, AND THEY ARE USING
THEIR PROFITS TO GIVE BACK TO

224
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:09,761
BILLIONAIRES, AND THEY ARE USING
THEIR PROFITS TO GIVE BACK TO
HARD-HIT COMMUNITIES-- AS LONG

225
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:13,432
THEIR PROFITS TO GIVE BACK TO
HARD-HIT COMMUNITIES-- AS LONG
AS THOSE COMMUNITIES BUILD GIANT

226
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:16,101
HARD-HIT COMMUNITIES-- AS LONG
AS THOSE COMMUNITIES BUILD GIANT
SHINY NEW YACHTS.

227
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,237
AS THOSE COMMUNITIES BUILD GIANT
SHINY NEW YACHTS.
TONIGHT'S FEATURED LUXURY

228
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:19,938
SHINY NEW YACHTS.
TONIGHT'S FEATURED LUXURY
BOATSMAN: AMAZON C.E.O. JEFF

229
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:20,572
TONIGHT'S FEATURED LUXURY
BOATSMAN: AMAZON C.E.O. JEFF
BEZOS, SEEN HERE LEARNING WHERE

230
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,440
BOATSMAN: AMAZON C.E.O. JEFF
BEZOS, SEEN HERE LEARNING WHERE
HIS WAREHOUSE WORKERS HAVE TO

231
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:22,107
BEZOS, SEEN HERE LEARNING WHERE
HIS WAREHOUSE WORKERS HAVE TO
PEE.

232
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:25,444
HIS WAREHOUSE WORKERS HAVE TO
PEE.
TODAY, WE LEARNED THAT BEZOS

233
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,946
PEE.
TODAY, WE LEARNED THAT BEZOS
WILL SOON RECEIVE DELIVERY OF A

234
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:28,447
TODAY, WE LEARNED THAT BEZOS
WILL SOON RECEIVE DELIVERY OF A
$500 MILLION MEGA-YACHT.

235
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:33,452
WILL SOON RECEIVE DELIVERY OF A
$500 MILLION MEGA-YACHT.
DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHEN IT WILL

236
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:34,085
$500 MILLION MEGA-YACHT.
DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHEN IT WILL
BE DELIVERED, BUT WE DO KNOW IT

237
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,456
DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHEN IT WILL
BE DELIVERED, BUT WE DO KNOW IT
WILL COME IN A MUCH BIGGER BOX.

238
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:41,460
BE DELIVERED, BUT WE DO KNOW IT
WILL COME IN A MUCH BIGGER BOX.
NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

239
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,694
WILL COME IN A MUCH BIGGER BOX.
NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
THINKING: "STEVE, SO ONE RICH

240
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:43,228
NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
THINKING: "STEVE, SO ONE RICH
GUY GOT A SUPER YACHT.

241
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,696
THINKING: "STEVE, SO ONE RICH
GUY GOT A SUPER YACHT.
IS THIS REALLY A FULL 'YACHT

242
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,464
GUY GOT A SUPER YACHT.
IS THIS REALLY A FULL 'YACHT
WACHTCH'?

243
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:49,334
IS THIS REALLY A FULL 'YACHT
WACHTCH'?
WELL, YACHT WACHTCH THIS:

244
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:49,935
WACHTCH'?
WELL, YACHT WACHTCH THIS:
JEFF BEZOS' SUPER YACHT IS SO

245
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:53,405
WELL, YACHT WACHTCH THIS:
JEFF BEZOS' SUPER YACHT IS SO
BIG IT NEEDS ITS OWN YACHT.

246
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:54,139
JEFF BEZOS' SUPER YACHT IS SO
BIG IT NEEDS ITS OWN YACHT.
AND DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE.

247
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:54,639
BIG IT NEEDS ITS OWN YACHT.
AND DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE.
THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD

248
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,340
AND DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE.
THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD
REASON FOR THIS YACHT TO HAVE

249
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:55,874
THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD
REASON FOR THIS YACHT TO HAVE
ITS OWN YACHT.

250
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,075
REASON FOR THIS YACHT TO HAVE
ITS OWN YACHT.
THE SECOND YACHT IS THE SAME

251
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:57,442
ITS OWN YACHT.
THE SECOND YACHT IS THE SAME
SUPPORT YACHT.

252
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:58,109
THE SECOND YACHT IS THE SAME
SUPPORT YACHT.
YOU CAN TELL WHICH ONE IS THE

253
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:01,146
SUPPORT YACHT.
YOU CAN TELL WHICH ONE IS THE
SUPPORT YACHT BECAUSE IT HAS

254
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,782
YOU CAN TELL WHICH ONE IS THE
SUPPORT YACHT BECAUSE IT HAS
THAT LITTLE VEST.

255
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:04,416
SUPPORT YACHT BECAUSE IT HAS
THAT LITTLE VEST.
THAT WAY, YOU CAN TAKE THE YACHT

256
00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:08,887
THAT LITTLE VEST.
THAT WAY, YOU CAN TAKE THE YACHT
ON THE PLANE WITH YOU.

257
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:09,454
THAT WAY, YOU CAN TAKE THE YACHT
ON THE PLANE WITH YOU.
HERE'S WHY BEZOS NEEDS IT.

258
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:10,088
ON THE PLANE WITH YOU.
HERE'S WHY BEZOS NEEDS IT.
THE MOMMY YACHT WILL BE POWERED

259
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,657
HERE'S WHY BEZOS NEEDS IT.
THE MOMMY YACHT WILL BE POWERED
WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF THREE

260
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,458
THE MOMMY YACHT WILL BE POWERED
WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF THREE
GIANT MASTS, AND THOSE SAILS

261
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:16,094
WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF THREE
GIANT MASTS, AND THOSE SAILS
MEAN IT WILL NOT SPORT A

262
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,129
GIANT MASTS, AND THOSE SAILS
MEAN IT WILL NOT SPORT A
HELIPAD, SO THEY NEED A SEPARATE

263
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,899
MEAN IT WILL NOT SPORT A
HELIPAD, SO THEY NEED A SEPARATE
SHIP WITH A DEDICATED LANDING

264
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:21,433
HELIPAD, SO THEY NEED A SEPARATE
SHIP WITH A DEDICATED LANDING
FACILITY.

265
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:22,100
SHIP WITH A DEDICATED LANDING
FACILITY.
I MEAN, WHO HASN'T NEEDED A

266
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,636
FACILITY.
I MEAN, WHO HASN'T NEEDED A
SEPARATE YACHT JUST FOR HIS

267
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:25,303
I MEAN, WHO HASN'T NEEDED A
SEPARATE YACHT JUST FOR HIS
HELICOPTER?

268
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:25,871
SEPARATE YACHT JUST FOR HIS
HELICOPTER?
BEZOS TRULY IS AN EVERYMAN--

269
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,672
HELICOPTER?
BEZOS TRULY IS AN EVERYMAN--
IN THAT HE HAS THE COMBINED

270
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:28,106
BEZOS TRULY IS AN EVERYMAN--
IN THAT HE HAS THE COMBINED
WEALTH OF EVERY MAN.

271
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:28,673
IN THAT HE HAS THE COMBINED
WEALTH OF EVERY MAN.
SEE YOU AT THE SHOW TRIALS,

272
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:32,811
WEALTH OF EVERY MAN.
SEE YOU AT THE SHOW TRIALS,
JEFF!

273
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:33,445
SEE YOU AT THE SHOW TRIALS,
JEFF!
HEY, WE GOT ANOTHER SIGN THAT

274
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:34,079
JEFF!
HEY, WE GOT ANOTHER SIGN THAT
THINGS ARE  RETURNING TO NORMAL,

275
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,448
HEY, WE GOT ANOTHER SIGN THAT
THINGS ARE  RETURNING TO NORMAL,
BECAUSE YESTERDAY, RUSSIAN

276
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:37,449
THINGS ARE  RETURNING TO NORMAL,
BECAUSE YESTERDAY, RUSSIAN
PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN PLAYED

277
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:38,984
BECAUSE YESTERDAY, RUSSIAN
PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN PLAYED
ICE HOCKEY FOR THE FIRST TIME

278
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,085
PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN PLAYED
ICE HOCKEY FOR THE FIRST TIME
SINCE THE PANDEMIC.

279
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,453
ICE HOCKEY FOR THE FIRST TIME
SINCE THE PANDEMIC.
AND EVEN THOUGH PUTIN WAS

280
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:44,456
SINCE THE PANDEMIC.
AND EVEN THOUGH PUTIN WAS
PLAYING WITH RETIRED

281
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,457
AND EVEN THOUGH PUTIN WAS
PLAYING WITH RETIRED
PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY PLAYERS, HE

282
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:46,091
PLAYING WITH RETIRED
PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY PLAYERS, HE
SCORED EIGHT GOALS, LEADING HIS

283
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:49,127
PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY PLAYERS, HE
SCORED EIGHT GOALS, LEADING HIS
TEAM TO A 13-9 VICTORY.

284
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:49,694
SCORED EIGHT GOALS, LEADING HIS
TEAM TO A 13-9 VICTORY.
LET'S GO TO THE HIGHLIGHTS.

285
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:53,465
TEAM TO A 13-9 VICTORY.
LET'S GO TO THE HIGHLIGHTS.
HERE'S PUTIN BEFORE THE GAME,

286
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,033
LET'S GO TO THE HIGHLIGHTS.
HERE'S PUTIN BEFORE THE GAME,
INDICATING TO SNIPERS WHICH

287
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,434
HERE'S PUTIN BEFORE THE GAME,
INDICATING TO SNIPERS WHICH
TEAMMATES TO KEEP THEIR SIGHTS

288
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,435
INDICATING TO SNIPERS WHICH
TEAMMATES TO KEEP THEIR SIGHTS
ON, AND THERE'S PUTIN, NUMBER

289
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,103
TEAMMATES TO KEEP THEIR SIGHTS
ON, AND THERE'S PUTIN, NUMBER
11, SHAMBLING DOWN THE ICE LIKE

290
00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:03,542
ON, AND THERE'S PUTIN, NUMBER
11, SHAMBLING DOWN THE ICE LIKE
A PENGUIN WITH GOUT.

291
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,075
11, SHAMBLING DOWN THE ICE LIKE
A PENGUIN WITH GOUT.
HE TAKES THE PASS, GOES

292
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,443
A PENGUIN WITH GOUT.
HE TAKES THE PASS, GOES
FIVE-HOLE AS THE GOALIE BEGS,

293
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:09,447
HE TAKES THE PASS, GOES
FIVE-HOLE AS THE GOALIE BEGS,
"PLEASE, I HAVE CHILDREN!'"

294
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:10,048
FIVE-HOLE AS THE GOALIE BEGS,
"PLEASE, I HAVE CHILDREN!'"
AS ALWAYS, OF COURSE, HIS MOST

295
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:10,649
"PLEASE, I HAVE CHILDREN!'"
AS ALWAYS, OF COURSE, HIS MOST
IMPRESSIVE GOAL WAS SCORED ON

296
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:13,451
AS ALWAYS, OF COURSE, HIS MOST
IMPRESSIVE GOAL WAS SCORED ON
HORSEBACK.

297
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,020
IMPRESSIVE GOAL WAS SCORED ON
HORSEBACK.
THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ON THE

298
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:15,954
HORSEBACK.
THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ON THE
WATCHING THE SHOW WHO SPEND A

299
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,489
THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ON THE
WATCHING THE SHOW WHO SPEND A
FAIR AMOUNT OF TIME ON THE

300
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:21,459
WATCHING THE SHOW WHO SPEND A
FAIR AMOUNT OF TIME ON THE
SOCIAL MEDIAS, WILL KNOW THERE

301
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:27,666
FAIR AMOUNT OF TIME ON THE
SOCIAL MEDIAS, WILL KNOW THERE
WAS A BIT OF A KERFUFFLE OVER A

302
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:32,304
SOCIAL MEDIAS, WILL KNOW THERE
WAS A BIT OF A KERFUFFLE OVER A
TWEET POSTED BY "THE NEW YORK

303
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:32,504
WAS A BIT OF A KERFUFFLE OVER A
TWEET POSTED BY "THE NEW YORK
POST."

304
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:33,405
TWEET POSTED BY "THE NEW YORK
POST."
YOU KNOW THEIR MOTTO: "WHO GOT

305
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,105
POST."
YOU KNOW THEIR MOTTO: "WHO GOT
STABBED TODAY-- EVERY DAY."

306
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,006
YOU KNOW THEIR MOTTO: "WHO GOT
STABBED TODAY-- EVERY DAY."
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

307
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:35,707
STABBED TODAY-- EVERY DAY."
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
THE "POST" DECLARED THAT

308
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,541
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
THE "POST" DECLARED THAT
LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS

309
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:37,142
THE "POST" DECLARED THAT
LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS
UNRECOGNIZABLE IN THE FIRST

310
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:37,709
LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS
UNRECOGNIZABLE IN THE FIRST
PHOTOS RELEASED FROM HIS NEW

311
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:38,710
UNRECOGNIZABLE IN THE FIRST
PHOTOS RELEASED FROM HIS NEW
MARTIN SCORSESE FILM.

312
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,111
PHOTOS RELEASED FROM HIS NEW
MARTIN SCORSESE FILM.
OKAY, "UNRECOGNIZABLE."

313
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,347
MARTIN SCORSESE FILM.
OKAY, "UNRECOGNIZABLE."
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND HIM IN

314
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,014
OKAY, "UNRECOGNIZABLE."
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND HIM IN
THE SCREENSHOT THEY POSTED IN

315
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:43,348
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND HIM IN
THE SCREENSHOT THEY POSTED IN
THAT TWEET.

316
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,049
THE SCREENSHOT THEY POSTED IN
THAT TWEET.
OKAY, LET'S TRY TO FIGURE THIS

317
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:44,349
THAT TWEET.
OKAY, LET'S TRY TO FIGURE THIS
OUT.

318
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:45,450
OKAY, LET'S TRY TO FIGURE THIS
OUT.
THEY SAY HE'S IN THERE

319
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:47,852
OUT.
THEY SAY HE'S IN THERE
SOMEWHERE.

320
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,321
THEY SAY HE'S IN THERE
SOMEWHERE.
SO HE'S EITHER THE GUY WHO LOOKS

321
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:49,955
SOMEWHERE.
SO HE'S EITHER THE GUY WHO LOOKS
EXACTLY LIKE LEONARDO DICAPRIO,

322
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,090
SO HE'S EITHER THE GUY WHO LOOKS
EXACTLY LIKE LEONARDO DICAPRIO,
OR HE'S DEEPLY IN CHARACTER AS A

323
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:55,160
EXACTLY LIKE LEONARDO DICAPRIO,
OR HE'S DEEPLY IN CHARACTER AS A
PAIR OF SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS.

324
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,061
OR HE'S DEEPLY IN CHARACTER AS A
PAIR OF SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS.
THE ONLY THING CONFUSING ABOUT

325
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:56,695
PAIR OF SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS.
THE ONLY THING CONFUSING ABOUT
THIS PHOTO IS WHY THE "NEW YORK

326
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:57,429
THE ONLY THING CONFUSING ABOUT
THIS PHOTO IS WHY THE "NEW YORK
POST" THOUGHT IT WAS CONFUSING

327
00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,598
THIS PHOTO IS WHY THE "NEW YORK
POST" THOUGHT IT WAS CONFUSING
IN ANY WAY.

328
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,433
POST" THOUGHT IT WAS CONFUSING
IN ANY WAY.
LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS ONE OF THE

329
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,702
IN ANY WAY.
LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS ONE OF THE
MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE ON THE

330
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:04,102
LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS ONE OF THE
MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE ON THE
PLANET.

331
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,470
MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE ON THE
PLANET.
AND I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE

332
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:08,807
PLANET.
AND I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE
THAT HE WOULD EVER BE

333
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:09,374
AND I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE
THAT HE WOULD EVER BE
UNRECOGNIZABLE.

334
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,008
THAT HE WOULD EVER BE
UNRECOGNIZABLE.
AND HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT, I AM

335
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,143
UNRECOGNIZABLE.
AND HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT, I AM
HONORED TO WELCOME ACADEMY

336
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,445
AND HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT, I AM
HONORED TO WELCOME ACADEMY
AWARD-WINNING ACTOR, PRODUCER,

337
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,081
HONORED TO WELCOME ACADEMY
AWARD-WINNING ACTOR, PRODUCER,
ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST, AND

338
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,482
AWARD-WINNING ACTOR, PRODUCER,
ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST, AND
WILLOWY MODEL COLLECTOR,

339
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:21,119
ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST, AND
WILLOWY MODEL COLLECTOR,
LEONARDO DICAPRIO!

340
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:21,720
WILLOWY MODEL COLLECTOR,
LEONARDO DICAPRIO!
LEO, THANK YOU FOR DROPPING BY

341
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:25,457
LEONARDO DICAPRIO!
LEO, THANK YOU FOR DROPPING BY
ON SHORT NOTICE, MY FRIEND.

342
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,659
LEO, THANK YOU FOR DROPPING BY
ON SHORT NOTICE, MY FRIEND.
>> MY PLEASURE, STEVE.

343
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:28,293
ON SHORT NOTICE, MY FRIEND.
>> MY PLEASURE, STEVE.
>> Stephen: LEO, UH, I GOTTA EAT

344
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,362
>> MY PLEASURE, STEVE.
>> Stephen: LEO, UH, I GOTTA EAT
MY WORDS A LITTLE BIT HERE.

345
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:33,431
>> Stephen: LEO, UH, I GOTTA EAT
MY WORDS A LITTLE BIT HERE.
YOU DO LOOK A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

346
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,633
MY WORDS A LITTLE BIT HERE.
YOU DO LOOK A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
>> EXACTLY.

347
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,435
YOU DO LOOK A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
>> EXACTLY.
THAT IS HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME,

348
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,437
>> EXACTLY.
THAT IS HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME,
LEONARDO DICAPRIO.

349
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,105
THAT IS HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME,
LEONARDO DICAPRIO.
I AM UNRECOGNIZABLE!

350
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:41,439
LEONARDO DICAPRIO.
I AM UNRECOGNIZABLE!
>> Stephen: I STAND CORRECTED.

351
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:45,443
I AM UNRECOGNIZABLE!
>> Stephen: I STAND CORRECTED.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

352
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,111
>> Stephen: I STAND CORRECTED.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?
>> OH, JUST THE USUAL LEO STUFF,

353
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,412
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?
>> OH, JUST THE USUAL LEO STUFF,
YOU KNOW, OWNING AN ISLAND,

354
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,246
>> OH, JUST THE USUAL LEO STUFF,
YOU KNOW, OWNING AN ISLAND,
DATING, BRINGING DATES TO

355
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,447
YOU KNOW, OWNING AN ISLAND,
DATING, BRINGING DATES TO
THE ISLAND.

356
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:50,649
DATING, BRINGING DATES TO
THE ISLAND.
>> Stephen: SOUNDS GOOD.

357
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,050
THE ISLAND.
>> Stephen: SOUNDS GOOD.
SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS

358
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,451
>> Stephen: SOUNDS GOOD.
SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS
"NEW YORK POST" STORY?

359
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:57,455
SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS
"NEW YORK POST" STORY?
>> OH, MAN.

360
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,857
"NEW YORK POST" STORY?
>> OH, MAN.
I MEAN, I LOVE IT!

361
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,459
>> OH, MAN.
I MEAN, I LOVE IT!
IT SHOWCASES MY ABILITY TO

362
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,093
I MEAN, I LOVE IT!
IT SHOWCASES MY ABILITY TO
LIKE I DID IN MY OSCAR-WINNING

363
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,095
IT SHOWCASES MY ABILITY TO
LIKE I DID IN MY OSCAR-WINNING
PERFORMANCE. "SHOW ME THE

364
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,463
LIKE I DID IN MY OSCAR-WINNING
PERFORMANCE. "SHOW ME THE
MONEY!"

365
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,432
PERFORMANCE. "SHOW ME THE
MONEY!"
>> Stephen: THAT'S CUBA GOODING

366
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,434
MONEY!"
>> Stephen: THAT'S CUBA GOODING
JR. IN "JERRY MCGUIRE."

367
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:12,437
>> Stephen: THAT'S CUBA GOODING
JR. IN "JERRY MCGUIRE."
YOU WON FOR "THE REVENANT."

368
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:16,107
JR. IN "JERRY MCGUIRE."
YOU WON FOR "THE REVENANT."
>> OH, YEAH, OF COURSE, RIGHT.

369
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,275
YOU WON FOR "THE REVENANT."
>> OH, YEAH, OF COURSE, RIGHT.
I MEANT "SHOW ME THE REVENANT!"

370
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:17,842
>> OH, YEAH, OF COURSE, RIGHT.
I MEANT "SHOW ME THE REVENANT!"
>> Stephen: I'M STARTING TO

371
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,078
I MEANT "SHOW ME THE REVENANT!"
>> Stephen: I'M STARTING TO
THINK YOU MIGHT NOT BE LEO.

372
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:25,450
>> Stephen: I'M STARTING TO
THINK YOU MIGHT NOT BE LEO.
>> NO, IT'S ME.

373
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,552
THINK YOU MIGHT NOT BE LEO.
>> NO, IT'S ME.
THE 'NARDO!

374
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,153
>> NO, IT'S ME.
THE 'NARDO!
YOU WANT ME TO PAINT YOU LIKE

375
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:28,687
THE 'NARDO!
YOU WANT ME TO PAINT YOU LIKE
ONE OF MY FRENCH GIRLS, OR

376
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,221
YOU WANT ME TO PAINT YOU LIKE
ONE OF MY FRENCH GIRLS, OR
OR WHATEVER?

377
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,958
ONE OF MY FRENCH GIRLS, OR
OR WHATEVER?
LET'S EAT SOME GILBERT GRAPES!

378
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:34,392
OR WHATEVER?
LET'S EAT SOME GILBERT GRAPES!
>> Stephen: THIS IS

379
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:34,926
LET'S EAT SOME GILBERT GRAPES!
>> Stephen: THIS IS
EMBARRASSING.

380
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,462
>> Stephen: THIS IS
EMBARRASSING.
YOU'RE CLEARLY SETH ROGEN.

381
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,329
EMBARRASSING.
YOU'RE CLEARLY SETH ROGEN.
>> NO, IT'S ME!

382
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:38,897
YOU'RE CLEARLY SETH ROGEN.
>> NO, IT'S ME!
REMEMBER?

383
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:39,431
>> NO, IT'S ME!
REMEMBER?
I WAS IN "THE DEPARTED."

384
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:40,098
REMEMBER?
I WAS IN "THE DEPARTED."
I AD THAT FAMOUS LINE: "GUYS,

385
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,433
I WAS IN "THE DEPARTED."
I AD THAT FAMOUS LINE: "GUYS,
WE GOTTA LEAVE RIGHT NOW.

386
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:42,767
I AD THAT FAMOUS LINE: "GUYS,
WE GOTTA LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
LET'S GET DEPARTED."

387
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:45,704
WE GOTTA LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
LET'S GET DEPARTED."
LET'S SEE I WAS IN... WHAT ELSE?

388
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:46,104
LET'S GET DEPARTED."
LET'S SEE I WAS IN... WHAT ELSE?
I WAS IN "GROWING

389
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,906
LET'S SEE I WAS IN... WHAT ELSE?
I WAS IN "GROWING
PAINS"?

390
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,808
I WAS IN "GROWING
PAINS"?
WOW, THAT'S CRAZY.

391
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:50,809
PAINS"?
WOW, THAT'S CRAZY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I ACCEPT

392
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,577
WOW, THAT'S CRAZY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I ACCEPT
THAT YOU'RE LEO.

393
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:57,449
>> Stephen: OKAY, I ACCEPT
THAT YOU'RE LEO.
>> I AM, I VERY MUCH AM.

394
00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:59,284
THAT YOU'RE LEO.
>> I AM, I VERY MUCH AM.
AND WHILE I'M HERE, I, LEONARDO

395
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:00,285
>> I AM, I VERY MUCH AM.
AND WHILE I'M HERE, I, LEONARDO
DICAPRIO, WOULD LIKE TO

396
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,453
AND WHILE I'M HERE, I, LEONARDO
DICAPRIO, WOULD LIKE TO
OFFICIALLY ENDORSE HOUSEPLANT,

397
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:04,255
DICAPRIO, WOULD LIKE TO
OFFICIALLY ENDORSE HOUSEPLANT,
YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP FOR CANNABIS

398
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,457
OFFICIALLY ENDORSE HOUSEPLANT,
YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP FOR CANNABIS
LOVERS AND OTHER STUFF LIKE

399
00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:08,860
YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP FOR CANNABIS
LOVERS AND OTHER STUFF LIKE
THAT.

400
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:12,130
LOVERS AND OTHER STUFF LIKE
THAT.
IT'S RUN BY SETH ROGEN, WHO IS A

401
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:16,101
THAT.
IT'S RUN BY SETH ROGEN, WHO IS A
MUCH SEXIER, HOTTER THAN ME,

402
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,436
IT'S RUN BY SETH ROGEN, WHO IS A
MUCH SEXIER, HOTTER THAN ME,
LEONARDO DICAPRIO.

403
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,904
MUCH SEXIER, HOTTER THAN ME,
LEONARDO DICAPRIO.
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT GRATE

404
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,540
LEONARDO DICAPRIO.
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT GRATE
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

405
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:23,141
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT GRATE
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS FORMER FIRST LADY

406
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,175
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS FORMER FIRST LADY
MICHELLE OBAMA.

407
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,310
MY GUEST IS FORMER FIRST LADY
MICHELLE OBAMA.
STICK AROUND.

408
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:25,543
MICHELLE OBAMA.
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ ♪

409
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:49,801
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK TO "A LOT SHOW."

410
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,504
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK TO "A LOT SHOW."
LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

411
00:12:52,506 --> 00:12:52,971
WELCOME BACK TO "A LOT SHOW."
LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.
JON, HOW ARE YOU?

412
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,073
LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.
JON, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jon: I'M GOOD.

413
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,208
JON, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jon: I'M GOOD.
I'M FEELING LIFE RIGHT NOW.

414
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:57,809
>> Jon: I'M GOOD.
I'M FEELING LIFE RIGHT NOW.
I'M FEELING LIFE.

415
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:58,376
I'M FEELING LIFE RIGHT NOW.
I'M FEELING LIFE.
WE'RE ALIVE.

416
00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,511
I'M FEELING LIFE.
WE'RE ALIVE.
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING.

417
00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:01,412
WE'RE ALIVE.
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE OUR LIVES

418
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,214
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE OUR LIVES
AND LIFE IS ONLY GETTING MORE

419
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:03,448
>> Stephen: WE HAVE OUR LIVES
AND LIFE IS ONLY GETTING MORE
LIVELY.

420
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,116
AND LIFE IS ONLY GETTING MORE
LIVELY.
DID YOU HEAR THAT TODAY-- HOW

421
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:05,483
LIVELY.
DID YOU HEAR THAT TODAY-- HOW
MANY, MANY?

422
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,219
DID YOU HEAR THAT TODAY-- HOW
MANY, MANY?
AT LEAST A HALF A DOZEN BROADWAY

423
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,655
MANY, MANY?
AT LEAST A HALF A DOZEN BROADWAY
SHOWS ANNOUNCED THEIR RETURN TO

424
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:11,356
AT LEAST A HALF A DOZEN BROADWAY
SHOWS ANNOUNCED THEIR RETURN TO
BROADWAY.

425
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,457
SHOWS ANNOUNCED THEIR RETURN TO
BROADWAY.
ARE WE ONE OF THEM?

426
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:13,858
BROADWAY.
ARE WE ONE OF THEM?
DID WE ANNOUNCE YET?

427
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:16,361
ARE WE ONE OF THEM?
DID WE ANNOUNCE YET?
BUT WE'RE ANNOUNCING SOON,

428
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:16,594
DID WE ANNOUNCE YET?
BUT WE'RE ANNOUNCING SOON,
RIGHT?

429
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,429
BUT WE'RE ANNOUNCING SOON,
RIGHT?
WE WILL KNOW SOON WHEN WE'RE

430
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:18,963
RIGHT?
WE WILL KNOW SOON WHEN WE'RE
COMING BACK.

431
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:22,000
WE WILL KNOW SOON WHEN WE'RE
COMING BACK.
JON, I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU IN

432
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:22,233
COMING BACK.
JON, I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU IN
PERSON.

433
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,434
JON, I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU IN
PERSON.
>> Jon: MAN, I CAN'T WAIT.

434
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:26,437
PERSON.
>> Jon: MAN, I CAN'T WAIT.
>> Stephen: DON'T GET ME

435
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:26,638
>> Jon: MAN, I CAN'T WAIT.
>> Stephen: DON'T GET ME
WRONG.

436
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,808
>> Stephen: DON'T GET ME
WRONG.
I DIG THE ALBUM.

437
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:30,441
WRONG.
I DIG THE ALBUM.
I BIG "SOUL."

438
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:31,442
I DIG THE ALBUM.
I BIG "SOUL."
BUT TO BE IN THE ROOM WHEN YOU

439
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,877
I BIG "SOUL."
BUT TO BE IN THE ROOM WHEN YOU
AND THE BAND ARE PLAYING IS A

440
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:33,812
BUT TO BE IN THE ROOM WHEN YOU
AND THE BAND ARE PLAYING IS A
WHOLE OTHER LEVEL.

441
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,547
AND THE BAND ARE PLAYING IS A
WHOLE OTHER LEVEL.
>> Jon: OH, IT'S LEVEL.

442
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,048
WHOLE OTHER LEVEL.
>> Jon: OH, IT'S LEVEL.
IT'S ABOUT TO BE ON FIRE.

443
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,349
>> Jon: OH, IT'S LEVEL.
IT'S ABOUT TO BE ON FIRE.
COME ON, BROADWAY!

444
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,684
IT'S ABOUT TO BE ON FIRE.
COME ON, BROADWAY!
LET US IN THERE!

445
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,452
COME ON, BROADWAY!
LET US IN THERE!
>> Stephen: I AM DECLARING--

446
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:42,654
LET US IN THERE!
>> Stephen: I AM DECLARING--
THIS IS AN OFFICIAL

447
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:43,655
>> Stephen: I AM DECLARING--
THIS IS AN OFFICIAL
ANNOUNCEMENT-- WE WILL BE BACK

448
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,790
THIS IS AN OFFICIAL
ANNOUNCEMENT-- WE WILL BE BACK
IN THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER SOON.

449
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:48,459
ANNOUNCEMENT-- WE WILL BE BACK
IN THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER SOON.
YOU CAN HOLD ME TO THAT AND I

450
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,794
IN THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER SOON.
YOU CAN HOLD ME TO THAT AND I
WILL ATTEMPT TO HOLD SOMEONE

451
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,230
YOU CAN HOLD ME TO THAT AND I
WILL ATTEMPT TO HOLD SOMEONE
ELSE TO THAT, ALL RIGHT?

452
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,365
WILL ATTEMPT TO HOLD SOMEONE
ELSE TO THAT, ALL RIGHT?
JON, YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO

453
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:54,766
ELSE TO THAT, ALL RIGHT?
JON, YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO
IN JUST A MINUTE.

454
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,568
JON, YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO
IN JUST A MINUTE.
>> Jon: I KNOW, COME ON NOW,

455
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:57,535
IN JUST A MINUTE.
>> Jon: I KNOW, COME ON NOW,
THE FIRST LADY.

456
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:58,336
>> Jon: I KNOW, COME ON NOW,
THE FIRST LADY.
>> Stephen: MICHELLE OBAMA.

457
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,971
THE FIRST LADY.
>> Stephen: MICHELLE OBAMA.
>> Jon: THE ORIGINAL FIRST

458
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:00,171
>> Stephen: MICHELLE OBAMA.
>> Jon: THE ORIGINAL FIRST
LADY.

459
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,472
>> Jon: THE ORIGINAL FIRST
LADY.
>> Stephen: THE ORIGINAL,

460
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,340
LADY.
>> Stephen: THE ORIGINAL,
ACTUALLY, THE ORIGINAL.

461
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,777
>> Stephen: THE ORIGINAL,
ACTUALLY, THE ORIGINAL.
SHE IS-- SHE IS AN ORIGINAL, I

462
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:06,244
ACTUALLY, THE ORIGINAL.
SHE IS-- SHE IS AN ORIGINAL, I
WILL SAY THAT.

463
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,045
SHE IS-- SHE IS AN ORIGINAL, I
WILL SAY THAT.
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC.

464
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,646
WILL SAY THAT.
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PROPER

465
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:09,547
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PROPER
TRANSITION MUSIC FROM THIS

466
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,951
DO YOU HAVE ANY PROPER
TRANSITION MUSIC FROM THIS
MOMENT SPEAKING TO SUCH A LOVELY

467
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:13,818
TRANSITION MUSIC FROM THIS
MOMENT SPEAKING TO SUCH A LOVELY
PARAGON AS MICHELLE OBAMA?

468
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:17,789
MOMENT SPEAKING TO SUCH A LOVELY
PARAGON AS MICHELLE OBAMA?
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.

469
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:30,668
PARAGON AS MICHELLE OBAMA?
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.
♪ ♪ ♪

470
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:33,004
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: I HOPE SHE WAS

471
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:33,805
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: I HOPE SHE WAS
LISTENING.

472
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,440
>> Stephen: I HOPE SHE WAS
LISTENING.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

473
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:39,310
LISTENING.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, JON.

474
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,112
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, JON.
FOLKS AS I ARB LEWDED JUST A

475
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,848
THANK YOU, JON.
FOLKS AS I ARB LEWDED JUST A
MOMENT AGO WITH JON BATISTE, I

476
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,116
FOLKS AS I ARB LEWDED JUST A
MOMENT AGO WITH JON BATISTE, I
RECENTLY HAD THE GREAT PLIJ TO

477
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,986
MOMENT AGO WITH JON BATISTE, I
RECENTLY HAD THE GREAT PLIJ TO
GO DOWN TO WASHINGTON, D.C., FOR

478
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:52,023
RECENTLY HAD THE GREAT PLIJ TO
GO DOWN TO WASHINGTON, D.C., FOR
AN IN-PERSON CONVERSATION WITH

479
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,024
GO DOWN TO WASHINGTON, D.C., FOR
AN IN-PERSON CONVERSATION WITH
FORMER FIRST LADY MICHELLE

480
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:56,728
AN IN-PERSON CONVERSATION WITH
FORMER FIRST LADY MICHELLE
OBAMA, IN IN THE VERY SAME ROOM

481
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,397
FORMER FIRST LADY MICHELLE
OBAMA, IN IN THE VERY SAME ROOM
I INTERVIEWED HER HUSBAND LAST

482
00:14:59,399 --> 00:14:59,664
OBAMA, IN IN THE VERY SAME ROOM
I INTERVIEWED HER HUSBAND LAST
NOVEMBER.

483
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,399
I INTERVIEWED HER HUSBAND LAST
NOVEMBER.
NICE TO SEE YOU.

484
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,901
NOVEMBER.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
WE HAVE TALKED FOR YEARS AND I

485
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,202
NICE TO SEE YOU.
WE HAVE TALKED FOR YEARS AND I
ALWAYS CALLED YOU MADAM FIRST

486
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:04,402
WE HAVE TALKED FOR YEARS AND I
ALWAYS CALLED YOU MADAM FIRST
LADY.

487
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,004
ALWAYS CALLED YOU MADAM FIRST
LADY.
AND I GOT AN EMAIL FROM YOU

488
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,305
LADY.
AND I GOT AN EMAIL FROM YOU
ABOUT A YEAR AGO.

489
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,607
AND I GOT AN EMAIL FROM YOU
ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
IT'S AN ACTUAL EMAIL, AND IT

490
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,342
ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
IT'S AN ACTUAL EMAIL, AND IT
SAID-- IT SAYS, "HEY, STEPHEN

491
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,010
IT'S AN ACTUAL EMAIL, AND IT
SAID-- IT SAYS, "HEY, STEPHEN
AND EVIE.

492
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,177
SAID-- IT SAYS, "HEY, STEPHEN
AND EVIE.
GREAT TO HEAR FROM YOU BOTH.

493
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,412
AND EVIE.
GREAT TO HEAR FROM YOU BOTH.
AND YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO CUT

494
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,548
GREAT TO HEAR FROM YOU BOTH.
AND YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO CUT
OUT THE 'MADAM FIRST LADI'

495
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:17,749
AND YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO CUT
OUT THE 'MADAM FIRST LADI'
STUFF.

496
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:17,949
OUT THE 'MADAM FIRST LADI'
STUFF.
LOVE."

497
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,651
STUFF.
LOVE."
SO I JUST WANT TO CONFIRM, HERE,

498
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:21,386
LOVE."
SO I JUST WANT TO CONFIRM, HERE,
FOR THE CAMERAS.

499
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:22,887
SO I JUST WANT TO CONFIRM, HERE,
FOR THE CAMERAS.
THAT YOU WOULD PREFER I CALL YOU

500
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,455
FOR THE CAMERAS.
THAT YOU WOULD PREFER I CALL YOU
BY YOUR FIRST NAME.

501
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:27,325
THAT YOU WOULD PREFER I CALL YOU
BY YOUR FIRST NAME.
I'M ABOUT TO CROSS THAT RUBICON.

502
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,794
BY YOUR FIRST NAME.
I'M ABOUT TO CROSS THAT RUBICON.
>> PLEASE, COME, COME OVER TO

503
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,162
I'M ABOUT TO CROSS THAT RUBICON.
>> PLEASE, COME, COME OVER TO
THE LIGHT SIDE.

504
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,830
>> PLEASE, COME, COME OVER TO
THE LIGHT SIDE.
LIKE "MADAM FIRST LADY."

505
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:33,631
THE LIGHT SIDE.
LIKE "MADAM FIRST LADY."
THAT'S SOMEBODY ELSE NOW.

506
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:34,299
LIKE "MADAM FIRST LADY."
THAT'S SOMEBODY ELSE NOW.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, I'LL

507
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,033
THAT'S SOMEBODY ELSE NOW.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, I'LL
GIVE IT A SHOT.

508
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,501
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, I'LL
GIVE IT A SHOT.
>> OKAY, LET'S TRY IT.

509
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,670
GIVE IT A SHOT.
>> OKAY, LET'S TRY IT.
BREATHE IN

510
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,004
>> OKAY, LET'S TRY IT.
BREATHE IN
( BREATHES )

511
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:40,204
BREATHE IN
( BREATHES )
OKAY.

512
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:41,739
( BREATHES )
OKAY.
>> Stephen: SO NICE TO SEE

513
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:42,073
OKAY.
>> Stephen: SO NICE TO SEE
YOU, MICHELLE.

514
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:44,275
>> Stephen: SO NICE TO SEE
YOU, MICHELLE.
>> DID YOU IT!

515
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,177
YOU, MICHELLE.
>> DID YOU IT!
GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, STEPHEN.

516
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,211
>> DID YOU IT!
GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: I HAD THE PLEASURE

517
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,980
GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: I HAD THE PLEASURE
OF SITTING DOWN WITH YOUR

518
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,415
>> Stephen: I HAD THE PLEASURE
OF SITTING DOWN WITH YOUR
HUSBAND IN NOVEMBER, AND I

519
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,951
OF SITTING DOWN WITH YOUR
HUSBAND IN NOVEMBER, AND I
IMAGINE THAT OVER THE COURSE OF

520
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:56,154
HUSBAND IN NOVEMBER, AND I
IMAGINE THAT OVER THE COURSE OF
YOUR LIFE TOGETHER-- BECAUSE

521
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,155
IMAGINE THAT OVER THE COURSE OF
YOUR LIFE TOGETHER-- BECAUSE
YOU'RE BOTH INCREDIBLY BUSY

522
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,557
YOUR LIFE TOGETHER-- BECAUSE
YOU'RE BOTH INCREDIBLY BUSY
PEOPLE-- THAT THERE HAVE BEEN

523
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:00,158
YOU'RE BOTH INCREDIBLY BUSY
PEOPLE-- THAT THERE HAVE BEEN
LONG PERIODS OF TIME--

524
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,793
PEOPLE-- THAT THERE HAVE BEEN
LONG PERIODS OF TIME--
ESPECIALLY THE EIGHT YEARS IN

525
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:02,760
LONG PERIODS OF TIME--
ESPECIALLY THE EIGHT YEARS IN
THE WHITE HOUSE-- WHERE YOU

526
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,295
ESPECIALLY THE EIGHT YEARS IN
THE WHITE HOUSE-- WHERE YOU
DIDN'T SEE EACH OTHER AS MUCH AS

527
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:04,762
THE WHITE HOUSE-- WHERE YOU
DIDN'T SEE EACH OTHER AS MUCH AS
YOU'D LIKE TO.

528
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,497
DIDN'T SEE EACH OTHER AS MUCH AS
YOU'D LIKE TO.
OVER THE LAST YEAR YOU'VE BEEN

529
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,165
YOU'D LIKE TO.
OVER THE LAST YEAR YOU'VE BEEN
TOGETHER--

530
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,533
OVER THE LAST YEAR YOU'VE BEEN
TOGETHER--
>> A LOT.

531
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:09,067
TOGETHER--
>> A LOT.
>> Stephen: ALL THE TIME.

532
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,501
>> A LOT.
>> Stephen: ALL THE TIME.
HOW HAS THAT WORKED OUT?

533
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,602
>> Stephen: ALL THE TIME.
HOW HAS THAT WORKED OUT?
IS HE GOOD COMPANY?

534
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,837
HOW HAS THAT WORKED OUT?
IS HE GOOD COMPANY?
>> HE IS.

535
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,505
IS HE GOOD COMPANY?
>> HE IS.
IT IS GOOD, AND I THINK IT'S

536
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,373
>> HE IS.
IT IS GOOD, AND I THINK IT'S
EVEN BETTER BECAUSE WE DON'T--

537
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,375
IT IS GOOD, AND I THINK IT'S
EVEN BETTER BECAUSE WE DON'T--
TE PRESSURES THAT WERE THERE

538
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,509
EVEN BETTER BECAUSE WE DON'T--
TE PRESSURES THAT WERE THERE
ARE ALSO GONE.

539
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,978
TE PRESSURES THAT WERE THERE
ARE ALSO GONE.
THEY'RE DIFFERENT.

540
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:22,981
ARE ALSO GONE.
THEY'RE DIFFERENT.
OUR KIDS ARE INDEPENDENT BEINGS.

541
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,482
THEY'RE DIFFERENT.
OUR KIDS ARE INDEPENDENT BEINGS.
WE'RE NOT WORRYING ABOUT FEEDING

542
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,985
OUR KIDS ARE INDEPENDENT BEINGS.
WE'RE NOT WORRYING ABOUT FEEDING
THEM OR CURFEW, ALL THOSE THINGS

543
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:27,118
WE'RE NOT WORRYING ABOUT FEEDING
THEM OR CURFEW, ALL THOSE THINGS
--

544
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:27,652
THEM OR CURFEW, ALL THOSE THINGS
--
>> Stephen: BUT THEY WERE

545
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,586
--
>> Stephen: BUT THEY WERE
LIVING WITH YOU FOR A WHILE.

546
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,288
>> Stephen: BUT THEY WERE
LIVING WITH YOU FOR A WHILE.
>> TEY WERE BUT THEY'RE ADULTS.

547
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,523
LIVING WITH YOU FOR A WHILE.
>> TEY WERE BUT THEY'RE ADULTS.
AND IT'S SORT OF LIKE, HEY, IT'S

548
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:32,924
>> TEY WERE BUT THEY'RE ADULTS.
AND IT'S SORT OF LIKE, HEY, IT'S
YOUR LIFE.

549
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:34,292
AND IT'S SORT OF LIKE, HEY, IT'S
YOUR LIFE.
>> Stephen: MORE LIKE

550
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:34,959
YOUR LIFE.
>> Stephen: MORE LIKE
ROOMMATES THAN CHILDREN?

551
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:35,560
>> Stephen: MORE LIKE
ROOMMATES THAN CHILDREN?
>> IT WAS.

552
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:36,728
ROOMMATES THAN CHILDREN?
>> IT WAS.
GOOD COMPANY, GOOD COMPANY.

553
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:37,795
>> IT WAS.
GOOD COMPANY, GOOD COMPANY.
BUT IT'S BEEN LOVELY.

554
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,631
GOOD COMPANY, GOOD COMPANY.
BUT IT'S BEEN LOVELY.
I MEAN WE'VE-- IT'S-- THE

555
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,500
BUT IT'S BEEN LOVELY.
I MEAN WE'VE-- IT'S-- THE
FRIENDSHIP THAT WAS THE

556
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,102
I MEAN WE'VE-- IT'S-- THE
FRIENDSHIP THAT WAS THE
FOUNDATION OF ALL OF THIS IS

557
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:44,669
FRIENDSHIP THAT WAS THE
FOUNDATION OF ALL OF THIS IS
STILL THERE.

558
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,803
FOUNDATION OF ALL OF THIS IS
STILL THERE.
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S WHY I

559
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:46,971
STILL THERE.
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S WHY I
LIKE YOU.

560
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,206
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S WHY I
LIKE YOU.
>> THAT'S EXACTLY --

561
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,073
LIKE YOU.
>> THAT'S EXACTLY --
>> Stephen: YOU TURNED OUT TO

562
00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:49,807
>> THAT'S EXACTLY --
>> Stephen: YOU TURNED OUT TO
BE PRETTY GOOD COMPANY.

563
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:52,010
>> Stephen: YOU TURNED OUT TO
BE PRETTY GOOD COMPANY.
>> THAT'S WHAT I TELL YOUNG

564
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:52,510
BE PRETTY GOOD COMPANY.
>> THAT'S WHAT I TELL YOUNG
PEOPLE, YOUNG COUPLES.

565
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,479
>> THAT'S WHAT I TELL YOUNG
PEOPLE, YOUNG COUPLES.
IT'S LIKE, IT'S GOING TO COME

566
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,981
PEOPLE, YOUNG COUPLES.
IT'S LIKE, IT'S GOING TO COME
FULL CIRCLE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU

567
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,449
IT'S LIKE, IT'S GOING TO COME
FULL CIRCLE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU
HAVE LITTLE KIDS AND WORKING AND

568
00:16:58,451 --> 00:16:59,017
FULL CIRCLE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU
HAVE LITTLE KIDS AND WORKING AND
HAVE A CAREER.

569
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,818
HAVE LITTLE KIDS AND WORKING AND
HAVE A CAREER.
YOU LOOK OVER AT THAT GUY AND

570
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,021
HAVE A CAREER.
YOU LOOK OVER AT THAT GUY AND
YOU'RE LIKE, WHY DID I DO THIS?

571
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:03,888
YOU LOOK OVER AT THAT GUY AND
YOU'RE LIKE, WHY DID I DO THIS?
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER.

572
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,790
YOU'RE LIKE, WHY DID I DO THIS?
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER.
BUT YOU COME FULL CIRCLE, KIDS

573
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,826
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER.
BUT YOU COME FULL CIRCLE, KIDS
ARE OUT OF THE HOUSE HOUSE.

574
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:09,994
BUT YOU COME FULL CIRCLE, KIDS
ARE OUT OF THE HOUSE HOUSE.
AND IT'S LIKE, "OH!

575
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,529
ARE OUT OF THE HOUSE HOUSE.
AND IT'S LIKE, "OH!
YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE."

576
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,930
AND IT'S LIKE, "OH!
YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE."
THAT'S WHERE WE ARE NOW.

577
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,665
YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE."
THAT'S WHERE WE ARE NOW.
"LOOK AT YOU IN YOUR LITTLE GOLF

578
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:14,899
THAT'S WHERE WE ARE NOW.
"LOOK AT YOU IN YOUR LITTLE GOLF
OUTFIT."

579
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:18,436
"LOOK AT YOU IN YOUR LITTLE GOLF
OUTFIT."
WHEN HE GOES TO GOLF, IT'S LIKE,

580
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,938
OUTFIT."
WHEN HE GOES TO GOLF, IT'S LIKE,
"MMM, YOU LOOK CUTE."

581
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:21,773
WHEN HE GOES TO GOLF, IT'S LIKE,
"MMM, YOU LOOK CUTE."
I FEEL IT NOW.

582
00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:22,640
"MMM, YOU LOOK CUTE."
I FEEL IT NOW.
SO IT'S BEEN GOOD.

583
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,308
I FEEL IT NOW.
SO IT'S BEEN GOOD.
>> Stephen: THE KIDS,

584
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:25,710
SO IT'S BEEN GOOD.
>> Stephen: THE KIDS,
OBVIOUSLY, YOU LOVE YOUR

585
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,310
>> Stephen: THE KIDS,
OBVIOUSLY, YOU LOVE YOUR
CHILDREN UNCONDITIONALLY.

586
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:26,811
OBVIOUSLY, YOU LOVE YOUR
CHILDREN UNCONDITIONALLY.
THEY LOVE YOU.

587
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,513
CHILDREN UNCONDITIONALLY.
THEY LOVE YOU.
>> MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE

588
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:28,713
THEY LOVE YOU.
>> MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE
WORLD.

589
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,714
>> MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE
WORLD.
>> Stephen: AT WHAT POINT DID

590
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:30,948
WORLD.
>> Stephen: AT WHAT POINT DID
THEY SAY TO YOU OVER THE LAST

591
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,717
>> Stephen: AT WHAT POINT DID
THEY SAY TO YOU OVER THE LAST
YEAR, "YOU GUYS, WE LOVE YOU.

592
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:33,818
THEY SAY TO YOU OVER THE LAST
YEAR, "YOU GUYS, WE LOVE YOU.
BUT YOU'RE A DRAG.

593
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,254
YEAR, "YOU GUYS, WE LOVE YOU.
BUT YOU'RE A DRAG.
WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE."

594
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,488
BUT YOU'RE A DRAG.
WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE."
>> THEY WENT TO THE WEST COAST

595
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,956
WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE."
>> THEY WENT TO THE WEST COAST
AND THEY'VE BEEN GONE.

596
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:39,557
>> THEY WENT TO THE WEST COAST
AND THEY'VE BEEN GONE.
THEY JUST LEFT.

597
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,459
AND THEY'VE BEEN GONE.
THEY JUST LEFT.
>> Stephen: DID THEY LEAVE A

598
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:41,893
THEY JUST LEFT.
>> Stephen: DID THEY LEAVE A
FORWARDING ADDRESS.

599
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:42,994
>> Stephen: DID THEY LEAVE A
FORWARDING ADDRESS.
>> WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.

600
00:17:42,996 --> 00:17:44,562
FORWARDING ADDRESS.
>> WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.
BUT THEY DON'T CHECK IN MUCH.

601
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,665
>> WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.
BUT THEY DON'T CHECK IN MUCH.
BUT IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR,

602
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:47,865
BUT THEY DON'T CHECK IN MUCH.
BUT IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR,
RIGHT.

603
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:51,002
BUT IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR,
RIGHT.
AND IN THE HEIGHT OF QUARANTINE,

604
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:53,037
RIGHT.
AND IN THE HEIGHT OF QUARANTINE,
YOU KNOW, WE'LL SAY IT STARTED

605
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:53,738
AND IN THE HEIGHT OF QUARANTINE,
YOU KNOW, WE'LL SAY IT STARTED
IN MARCH.

606
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,140
YOU KNOW, WE'LL SAY IT STARTED
IN MARCH.
BY THE SUMMER, WE WERE, LIKE,

607
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:57,809
IN MARCH.
BY THE SUMMER, WE WERE, LIKE,
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH OF YOU.

608
00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:59,744
BY THE SUMMER, WE WERE, LIKE,
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH OF YOU.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO

609
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:00,178
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH OF YOU.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO
SAY.

610
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:03,214
YOU KNOW, I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO
SAY.
OUR YOUNGEST, SACHA, WHO IS NOT

611
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,149
SAY.
OUR YOUNGEST, SACHA, WHO IS NOT
AS TALKATIVE AS OUR OLDER ONE IS

612
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,185
OUR YOUNGEST, SACHA, WHO IS NOT
AS TALKATIVE AS OUR OLDER ONE IS
LIKE, "I REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO

613
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:07,718
AS TALKATIVE AS OUR OLDER ONE IS
LIKE, "I REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO
SAY TO YOU.

614
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,152
LIKE, "I REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO
SAY TO YOU.
I DON'T.

615
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,088
SAY TO YOU.
I DON'T.
I'M NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE."

616
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:13,858
I DON'T.
I'M NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE."
BUT WE GOT THROUGH A COUPLE GOOD

617
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,293
I'M NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE."
BUT WE GOT THROUGH A COUPLE GOOD
MONTHS OF FEELING GOOD, BEING

618
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,794
BUT WE GOT THROUGH A COUPLE GOOD
MONTHS OF FEELING GOOD, BEING
AROUND EACH GLRG YOUR HUSBAND

619
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:17,795
MONTHS OF FEELING GOOD, BEING
AROUND EACH GLRG YOUR HUSBAND
EXPLAINED WHAT A LOT OF PEOPLE

620
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,097
AROUND EACH GLRG YOUR HUSBAND
EXPLAINED WHAT A LOT OF PEOPLE
WENT THROUGH, WHICH IS THE KIDS

621
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,099
EXPLAINED WHAT A LOT OF PEOPLE
WENT THROUGH, WHICH IS THE KIDS
ARE HOME, THERE'S MOVIE NIGHT--

622
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:22,033
WENT THROUGH, WHICH IS THE KIDS
ARE HOME, THERE'S MOVIE NIGHT--
>> GAME N95.

623
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:23,401
ARE HOME, THERE'S MOVIE NIGHT--
>> GAME N95.
>> Stephen: GAMES, STUFF LIKE

624
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:23,601
>> GAME N95.
>> Stephen: GAMES, STUFF LIKE
THAT.

625
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,503
>> Stephen: GAMES, STUFF LIKE
THAT.
WHO MADE THE CALL ON THE MOVIES?

626
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,506
THAT.
WHO MADE THE CALL ON THE MOVIES?
LIKE, WHO WAS THE--

627
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,240
WHO MADE THE CALL ON THE MOVIES?
LIKE, WHO WAS THE--
>> MALIA.

628
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:32,710
LIKE, WHO WAS THE--
>> MALIA.
MALIA IS THE MOVIE SAVANITY.

629
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,545
>> MALIA.
MALIA IS THE MOVIE SAVANITY.
SHE'S VERY CLEAR-- ALTHOUGH WE

630
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,481
MALIA IS THE MOVIE SAVANITY.
SHE'S VERY CLEAR-- ALTHOUGH WE
DON'T LIKE THE SAME MOVIES.

631
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:37,982
SHE'S VERY CLEAR-- ALTHOUGH WE
DON'T LIKE THE SAME MOVIES.
SHE AND BARACK LIKE DARK AND

632
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:38,149
DON'T LIKE THE SAME MOVIES.
SHE AND BARACK LIKE DARK AND
SAD.

633
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,685
SHE AND BARACK LIKE DARK AND
SAD.
AND SASHA AND I WE WANT A LITTLE

634
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,353
SAD.
AND SASHA AND I WE WANT A LITTLE
LAUGHTER AND FRIVOLITY.

635
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:43,688
AND SASHA AND I WE WANT A LITTLE
LAUGHTER AND FRIVOLITY.
>> Stephen: BUT THEY HAVE TO

636
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:44,255
LAUGHTER AND FRIVOLITY.
>> Stephen: BUT THEY HAVE TO
DO IMPORTANT MOVIES.

637
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,790
>> Stephen: BUT THEY HAVE TO
DO IMPORTANT MOVIES.
>> YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE THEY

638
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,158
DO IMPORTANT MOVIES.
>> YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE THEY
TAKE THEMSELVES A LITTLE

639
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,392
>> YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE THEY
TAKE THEMSELVES A LITTLE
SERIOUSLY WITH THEIR MOVIES, YOU

640
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:48,593
TAKE THEMSELVES A LITTLE
SERIOUSLY WITH THEIR MOVIES, YOU
KNOW.

641
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:52,196
SERIOUSLY WITH THEIR MOVIES, YOU
KNOW.
AND THEY LIKE TO REHASH DARK

642
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:52,597
KNOW.
AND THEY LIKE TO REHASH DARK
MOMENTS.

643
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:54,499
AND THEY LIKE TO REHASH DARK
MOMENTS.
BARACK'S TASTE IN MOVIES IS

644
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:58,369
MOMENTS.
BARACK'S TASTE IN MOVIES IS
EVERYBODY IS SAD, AND THEN THEY

645
00:18:58,371 --> 00:18:58,536
BARACK'S TASTE IN MOVIES IS
EVERYBODY IS SAD, AND THEN THEY
DIE.

646
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,104
EVERYBODY IS SAD, AND THEN THEY
DIE.
THOSE ARE-- YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO

647
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:00,404
DIE.
THOSE ARE-- YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO
BE CAREFUL.

648
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:01,806
THOSE ARE-- YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO
BE CAREFUL.
>> Stephen: ALL THIS YEAR'S

649
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,174
BE CAREFUL.
>> Stephen: ALL THIS YEAR'S
OSCAR NOMINEES.

650
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,209
>> Stephen: ALL THIS YEAR'S
OSCAR NOMINEES.
>> RIGHT.

651
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:05,810
OSCAR NOMINEES.
>> RIGHT.
HE RECOMMENDS IT --

652
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,845
>> RIGHT.
HE RECOMMENDS IT --
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT "JUDAH

653
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,814
HE RECOMMENDS IT --
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT "JUDAH
AND THE BLACK MESSIAH?"

654
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,249
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT "JUDAH
AND THE BLACK MESSIAH?"
YOU TALKED ABOUT, SOME AN

655
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,483
AND THE BLACK MESSIAH?"
YOU TALKED ABOUT, SOME AN
EXPERIENCE YOU HAD THIS PAST

656
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,118
YOU TALKED ABOUT, SOME AN
EXPERIENCE YOU HAD THIS PAST
YEAR WITH LOW-GRADE DEPRESSION,

657
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:14,585
EXPERIENCE YOU HAD THIS PAST
YEAR WITH LOW-GRADE DEPRESSION,
YOU CALL IT.

658
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,687
YEAR WITH LOW-GRADE DEPRESSION,
YOU CALL IT.
AND I HAVE A TWO-PART QUESTION

659
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:19,090
YOU CALL IT.
AND I HAVE A TWO-PART QUESTION
WHICH IS, ONE IS, IT'S VERY

660
00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:21,492
AND I HAVE A TWO-PART QUESTION
WHICH IS, ONE IS, IT'S VERY
COMMON PEOPLE THIS YEAR-- VERY

661
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,627
WHICH IS, ONE IS, IT'S VERY
COMMON PEOPLE THIS YEAR-- VERY
COMMON IN GENERAL, BUT

662
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:23,094
COMMON PEOPLE THIS YEAR-- VERY
COMMON IN GENERAL, BUT
ESPECIALLY THIS YEAR.

663
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:25,029
COMMON IN GENERAL, BUT
ESPECIALLY THIS YEAR.
HOW DID YOU COPE WITH IT?

664
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,731
ESPECIALLY THIS YEAR.
HOW DID YOU COPE WITH IT?
AND WHY JUST LOW GRADE?

665
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:29,367
HOW DID YOU COPE WITH IT?
AND WHY JUST LOW GRADE?
BECAUSE I GET THE HIGH-OCTANE.

666
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,868
AND WHY JUST LOW GRADE?
BECAUSE I GET THE HIGH-OCTANE.
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.

667
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:31,669
BECAUSE I GET THE HIGH-OCTANE.
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.
WELL, YOU KNOW, OVER THE COURSE

668
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,171
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.
WELL, YOU KNOW, OVER THE COURSE
OF YOUR LIFE AS YOU KNOW, THIS

669
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,573
WELL, YOU KNOW, OVER THE COURSE
OF YOUR LIFE AS YOU KNOW, THIS
IS A PART OF..., YOU KNOW.

670
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,176
OF YOUR LIFE AS YOU KNOW, THIS
IS A PART OF..., YOU KNOW.
NOBODY RIDES LIFE ON A HIGH.

671
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,377
IS A PART OF..., YOU KNOW.
NOBODY RIDES LIFE ON A HIGH.
AND I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR

672
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,478
NOBODY RIDES LIFE ON A HIGH.
AND I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR
YOUNG PEOPE TO KNOW THAT.

673
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,979
AND I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR
YOUNG PEOPE TO KNOW THAT.
IT'S LIKE, NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING

674
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,581
YOUNG PEOPE TO KNOW THAT.
IT'S LIKE, NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO FEEL GREAT ALL THE TIME.

675
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:44,715
IT'S LIKE, NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO FEEL GREAT ALL THE TIME.
AND THERE ARE MOMENTS IN ALL OF

676
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:45,917
TO FEEL GREAT ALL THE TIME.
AND THERE ARE MOMENTS IN ALL OF
OUR LIVES, PARTICULARLY IN THE

677
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:49,754
AND THERE ARE MOMENTS IN ALL OF
OUR LIVES, PARTICULARLY IN THE
MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, AND, YOU

678
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,455
OUR LIVES, PARTICULARLY IN THE
MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, AND, YOU
KNOW, UNREST, RACIAL UNREST,

679
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:54,559
MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, AND, YOU
KNOW, UNREST, RACIAL UNREST,
YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL KIND OF A

680
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,694
KNOW, UNREST, RACIAL UNREST,
YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL KIND OF A
WAY ABOUT IT SO GIVE YOURSELF A

681
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,094
YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL KIND OF A
WAY ABOUT IT SO GIVE YOURSELF A
BREAK.

682
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,696
WAY ABOUT IT SO GIVE YOURSELF A
BREAK.
BEING 57, I KNOW THAT THAT'S

683
00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:58,896
BREAK.
BEING 57, I KNOW THAT THAT'S
TRUE.

684
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,498
BEING 57, I KNOW THAT THAT'S
TRUE.
SO OVER THE COURSE OF WHYURE

685
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,300
TRUE.
SO OVER THE COURSE OF WHYURE
ADULTHOOD YOU DEVELOP YOUR OWN

686
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,702
SO OVER THE COURSE OF WHYURE
ADULTHOOD YOU DEVELOP YOUR OWN
TOOLS, AND FOR ME, IT'S TURNING

687
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,871
ADULTHOOD YOU DEVELOP YOUR OWN
TOOLS, AND FOR ME, IT'S TURNING
OFF THE NOISE THAT IS UPSETTING.

688
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,839
TOOLS, AND FOR ME, IT'S TURNING
OFF THE NOISE THAT IS UPSETTING.
UN, KNOWING THAT I CAN'T KEEP

689
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,042
OFF THE NOISE THAT IS UPSETTING.
UN, KNOWING THAT I CAN'T KEEP
READING ALL THE FEEDS THAT ARE,

690
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,777
UN, KNOWING THAT I CAN'T KEEP
READING ALL THE FEEDS THAT ARE,
YOU KNOW, FUELING MY ANXIETY AND

691
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:13,844
READING ALL THE FEEDS THAT ARE,
YOU KNOW, FUELING MY ANXIETY AND
TAKING A BREAK FROM IT.

692
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,246
YOU KNOW, FUELING MY ANXIETY AND
TAKING A BREAK FROM IT.
I DID THAT AS FIRST LADY.

693
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:16,948
TAKING A BREAK FROM IT.
I DID THAT AS FIRST LADY.
THERE WERE JUST TIMES THAT I

694
00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,217
I DID THAT AS FIRST LADY.
THERE WERE JUST TIMES THAT I
COULDN'T HEAR THE BAD NEWS ABOUT

695
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,519
THERE WERE JUST TIMES THAT I
COULDN'T HEAR THE BAD NEWS ABOUT
THE COUNTRY THAT I HAD TO SERVE

696
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,287
COULDN'T HEAR THE BAD NEWS ABOUT
THE COUNTRY THAT I HAD TO SERVE
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THE NEWS

697
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,623
THE COUNTRY THAT I HAD TO SERVE
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THE NEWS
ISN'T A FULL REFLECTION OF WHAT

698
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,425
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THE NEWS
ISN'T A FULL REFLECTION OF WHAT
THE COUNTRY IS.

699
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:28,226
ISN'T A FULL REFLECTION OF WHAT
THE COUNTRY IS.
AND IF I --

700
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:29,327
THE COUNTRY IS.
AND IF I --
>> Stephen: THEY ALL KIND OF

701
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,462
AND IF I --
>> Stephen: THEY ALL KIND OF
NEED THE BAD NEWS BECAUSE THE

702
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:32,697
>> Stephen: THEY ALL KIND OF
NEED THE BAD NEWS BECAUSE THE
DRAMA OF THE STORY OF THE

703
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,165
NEED THE BAD NEWS BECAUSE THE
DRAMA OF THE STORY OF THE
CONFLICT IS ACTUALLY PART OF THE

704
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:34,532
DRAMA OF THE STORY OF THE
CONFLICT IS ACTUALLY PART OF THE
BUSINESS MODEL.

705
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:34,899
CONFLICT IS ACTUALLY PART OF THE
BUSINESS MODEL.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.

706
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,133
BUSINESS MODEL.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT IT'S NOT REALITY.

707
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,636
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT IT'S NOT REALITY.
IT'S NOT HOW PEOPLE LIVE THEIR

708
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:39,370
BUT IT'S NOT REALITY.
IT'S NOT HOW PEOPLE LIVE THEIR
DAY-TO-DAY LIVES.

709
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,806
IT'S NOT HOW PEOPLE LIVE THEIR
DAY-TO-DAY LIVES.
SO I PULLED BACK FROM IT.

710
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,040
DAY-TO-DAY LIVES.
SO I PULLED BACK FROM IT.
I SURROUND MYSELF WITH THINGS

711
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:45,810
SO I PULLED BACK FROM IT.
I SURROUND MYSELF WITH THINGS
THAT MAKE ME FEEL GOOD-- FAMILY,

712
00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,812
I SURROUND MYSELF WITH THINGS
THAT MAKE ME FEEL GOOD-- FAMILY,
FRIENDS, WALKS, EXERCISE.

713
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,814
THAT MAKE ME FEEL GOOD-- FAMILY,
FRIENDS, WALKS, EXERCISE.
SO WHEN I TALK TO MY KIDS ABOUT

714
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:52,450
FRIENDS, WALKS, EXERCISE.
SO WHEN I TALK TO MY KIDS ABOUT
THAT, I TRY TO URGE THEM TO

715
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,352
SO WHEN I TALK TO MY KIDS ABOUT
THAT, I TRY TO URGE THEM TO
UNDERSTAND THAT THE VALLEYS ARE

716
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:57,154
THAT, I TRY TO URGE THEM TO
UNDERSTAND THAT THE VALLEYS ARE
TEMPORARY, AND SO ARE THE PEAKS.

717
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:59,056
UNDERSTAND THAT THE VALLEYS ARE
TEMPORARY, AND SO ARE THE PEAKS.
THEY CAN BE TEMPORARY.

718
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,291
TEMPORARY, AND SO ARE THE PEAKS.
THEY CAN BE TEMPORARY.
AND THEY HAVE TO BE PREPARED TO

719
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,426
THEY CAN BE TEMPORARY.
AND THEY HAVE TO BE PREPARED TO
HANDLE THE HIGHS AND THE LOWS.

720
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,195
AND THEY HAVE TO BE PREPARED TO
HANDLE THE HIGHS AND THE LOWS.
SO I'M TRYING TO GET THEM AND

721
00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:05,296
HANDLE THE HIGHS AND THE LOWS.
SO I'M TRYING TO GET THEM AND
OTHER YOUNG PEOPLE TO START

722
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:07,031
SO I'M TRYING TO GET THEM AND
OTHER YOUNG PEOPLE TO START
THINKING ABOUT WHAT ARE YOUR

723
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,833
OTHER YOUNG PEOPLE TO START
THINKING ABOUT WHAT ARE YOUR
TOOLS, THE THINGS THAT BRING YOU

724
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:09,900
THINKING ABOUT WHAT ARE YOUR
TOOLS, THE THINGS THAT BRING YOU
JOY, THE THINGS THAT BRING YOU

725
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:10,801
TOOLS, THE THINGS THAT BRING YOU
JOY, THE THINGS THAT BRING YOU
CALM AND PEACE?

726
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,503
JOY, THE THINGS THAT BRING YOU
CALM AND PEACE?
I KNOW THOSE THINGS FOR MYSELF

727
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:12,703
CALM AND PEACE?
I KNOW THOSE THINGS FOR MYSELF
NOW.

728
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:15,273
I KNOW THOSE THINGS FOR MYSELF
NOW.
BUT IT'S TAKEN DECADES TO

729
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:15,740
NOW.
BUT IT'S TAKEN DECADES TO
DEVELOP THOSE TOOLS.

730
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,708
BUT IT'S TAKEN DECADES TO
DEVELOP THOSE TOOLS.
SO WE HAVE TO BE PATIENT WITH

731
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,278
DEVELOP THOSE TOOLS.
SO WE HAVE TO BE PATIENT WITH
OURSELVES, PARTICULARLY IN TIMES

732
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:20,845
SO WE HAVE TO BE PATIENT WITH
OURSELVES, PARTICULARLY IN TIMES
THAT ARE HARD, YOU KNOW,.

733
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,913
OURSELVES, PARTICULARLY IN TIMES
THAT ARE HARD, YOU KNOW,.
>> Stephen: THE DIFFICULTY FOR

734
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:25,283
THAT ARE HARD, YOU KNOW,.
>> Stephen: THE DIFFICULTY FOR
ME IS I KNOW THE THINGS THAT

735
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,350
>> Stephen: THE DIFFICULTY FOR
ME IS I KNOW THE THINGS THAT
WILL ACTUALLY MAKE ME FEEL

736
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,886
ME IS I KNOW THE THINGS THAT
WILL ACTUALLY MAKE ME FEEL
BETTER, AND I DON'T WANT TO DO

737
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:29,086
WILL ACTUALLY MAKE ME FEEL
BETTER, AND I DON'T WANT TO DO
THEM.

738
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:30,388
BETTER, AND I DON'T WANT TO DO
THEM.
>> WELL WHAT-- THAT DOESN'T MAKE

739
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:31,155
THEM.
>> WELL WHAT-- THAT DOESN'T MAKE
ANY SENSE, STEPHEN.

740
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:32,323
>> WELL WHAT-- THAT DOESN'T MAKE
ANY SENSE, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: NO, BECAUSE THEY

741
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:33,424
ANY SENSE, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: NO, BECAUSE THEY
REQUIRE YOU TO DO SOMETHING.

742
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:34,725
>> Stephen: NO, BECAUSE THEY
REQUIRE YOU TO DO SOMETHING.
WHEN I'M DEPRESSED I DON'T WANT

743
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:35,192
REQUIRE YOU TO DO SOMETHING.
WHEN I'M DEPRESSED I DON'T WANT
TO DO ANYTHING.

744
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:37,161
WHEN I'M DEPRESSED I DON'T WANT
TO DO ANYTHING.
>> YOU DON'T WANT TO DO

745
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:37,428
TO DO ANYTHING.
>> YOU DON'T WANT TO DO
ANYTHING.

746
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:38,062
>> YOU DON'T WANT TO DO
ANYTHING.
>> Stephen: THAT'S PART OF THE

747
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:38,863
ANYTHING.
>> Stephen: THAT'S PART OF THE
ODD TRAP OF DEPRESSION.

748
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:39,830
>> Stephen: THAT'S PART OF THE
ODD TRAP OF DEPRESSION.
>> THAT'S TRUE.

749
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,666
ODD TRAP OF DEPRESSION.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
FOR ME, I HAVE TO PUSH BEYOND

750
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:42,500
>> THAT'S TRUE.
FOR ME, I HAVE TO PUSH BEYOND
THAT, RIGHT.

751
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:44,535
FOR ME, I HAVE TO PUSH BEYOND
THAT, RIGHT.
SO THAT-- HAVING A SCHEDULE,

752
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,636
THAT, RIGHT.
SO THAT-- HAVING A SCHEDULE,
EVEN IN QUARANTINE, WAS

753
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:46,537
SO THAT-- HAVING A SCHEDULE,
EVEN IN QUARANTINE, WAS
SOMETHING THAT I DID.

754
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:48,673
EVEN IN QUARANTINE, WAS
SOMETHING THAT I DID.
I WOKE UP, I TOOK A SHOWER, I

755
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:50,675
SOMETHING THAT I DID.
I WOKE UP, I TOOK A SHOWER, I
WORKED OUT, I GOT DRESSED EVERY

756
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:50,908
I WOKE UP, I TOOK A SHOWER, I
WORKED OUT, I GOT DRESSED EVERY
DAY.

757
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,310
WORKED OUT, I GOT DRESSED EVERY
DAY.
YOU KNOW, THERE WASN'T A DAY

758
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:54,912
DAY.
YOU KNOW, THERE WASN'T A DAY
THAT WENT BY THAT I DIDN'T DO

759
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:57,515
YOU KNOW, THERE WASN'T A DAY
THAT WENT BY THAT I DIDN'T DO
THAT BECAUSE IT'S JUST THE DOING

760
00:21:57,517 --> 00:22:00,918
THAT WENT BY THAT I DIDN'T DO
THAT BECAUSE IT'S JUST THE DOING
THAT GETS YOU OUT OF THE FUNK.

761
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,321
THAT BECAUSE IT'S JUST THE DOING
THAT GETS YOU OUT OF THE FUNK.
I FIND IF I SPEND THE WHOLE DAY

762
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:05,956
THAT GETS YOU OUT OF THE FUNK.
I FIND IF I SPEND THE WHOLE DAY
IN A SOUR MOOD, LIGHTS OUT, IN

763
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,192
I FIND IF I SPEND THE WHOLE DAY
IN A SOUR MOOD, LIGHTS OUT, IN
THE BED, THE NEXT DAY I'LL FEEL

764
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:09,360
IN A SOUR MOOD, LIGHTS OUT, IN
THE BED, THE NEXT DAY I'LL FEEL
THE SAME WAY.

765
00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:11,262
THE BED, THE NEXT DAY I'LL FEEL
THE SAME WAY.
BUT FIGET UP AND I SHOWER--

766
00:22:11,264 --> 00:22:11,962
THE SAME WAY.
BUT FIGET UP AND I SHOWER--
SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN IN THE

767
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:14,765
BUT FIGET UP AND I SHOWER--
SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN IN THE
COURSE OF ME DOING SOMETHING

768
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:16,233
SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN IN THE
COURSE OF ME DOING SOMETHING
THAT REALLY KNOCKS ME INTO A

769
00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:16,767
COURSE OF ME DOING SOMETHING
THAT REALLY KNOCKS ME INTO A
POSITIVE PLACE.

770
00:22:16,769 --> 00:22:20,371
THAT REALLY KNOCKS ME INTO A
POSITIVE PLACE.
SO I TRY TO FIGHT THE TENDENCY

771
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:23,574
POSITIVE PLACE.
SO I TRY TO FIGHT THE TENDENCY
TO NOT-- TO SORT OF WALLOW IN MY

772
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:24,975
SO I TRY TO FIGHT THE TENDENCY
TO NOT-- TO SORT OF WALLOW IN MY
LOW, YOU KNOW, WHAT I'M SAYING?

773
00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:27,211
TO NOT-- TO SORT OF WALLOW IN MY
LOW, YOU KNOW, WHAT I'M SAYING?
>> Stephen: I DO KNOW, I DO

774
00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:27,411
LOW, YOU KNOW, WHAT I'M SAYING?
>> Stephen: I DO KNOW, I DO
KNOW.

775
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:29,413
>> Stephen: I DO KNOW, I DO
KNOW.
>> DON'T WALLOW IN YOUR LOW,

776
00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:29,647
KNOW.
>> DON'T WALLOW IN YOUR LOW,
STEPHEN.

777
00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:31,148
>> DON'T WALLOW IN YOUR LOW,
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: I KNOW THAT'S THE

778
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:31,816
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: I KNOW THAT'S THE
RIGHT THING TO DO.

779
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:33,818
>> Stephen: I KNOW THAT'S THE
RIGHT THING TO DO.
>> OPEN THE BLINDS, GET OUT OF

780
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:34,485
RIGHT THING TO DO.
>> OPEN THE BLINDS, GET OUT OF
BED.

781
00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,787
>> OPEN THE BLINDS, GET OUT OF
BED.
COME ON, GET UP, TALK A SHOWER,

782
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:36,987
BED.
COME ON, GET UP, TALK A SHOWER,
SHAVE.

783
00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:38,055
COME ON, GET UP, TALK A SHOWER,
SHAVE.
>> Stephen: CAN I GET THAT AS

784
00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:39,824
SHAVE.
>> Stephen: CAN I GET THAT AS
MY ALARM IN THE MORNING?

785
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:41,625
>> Stephen: CAN I GET THAT AS
MY ALARM IN THE MORNING?
CAN I GET A COPY OF THAT AND

786
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:44,829
MY ALARM IN THE MORNING?
CAN I GET A COPY OF THAT AND
HAVE MY iPHONE PLAY THAT FOR

787
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:44,995
CAN I GET A COPY OF THAT AND
HAVE MY iPHONE PLAY THAT FOR
ME?

788
00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:46,864
HAVE MY iPHONE PLAY THAT FOR
ME?
YOU SAID A MOMENT AGO THAT

789
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:47,665
ME?
YOU SAID A MOMENT AGO THAT
YOU'RE 57 YEARS OLD.

790
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,200
YOU SAID A MOMENT AGO THAT
YOU'RE 57 YEARS OLD.
I'M GOING TO BE 57 IN A COUPLE

791
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:49,800
YOU'RE 57 YEARS OLD.
I'M GOING TO BE 57 IN A COUPLE
OF DAYS.

792
00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:52,169
I'M GOING TO BE 57 IN A COUPLE
OF DAYS.
>> WOO-HOO.

793
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:52,970
OF DAYS.
>> WOO-HOO.
>> Stephen: YOU AND I ARE

794
00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:54,672
>> WOO-HOO.
>> Stephen: YOU AND I ARE
ABOUT THE SAME AGE.

795
00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:57,608
>> Stephen: YOU AND I ARE
ABOUT THE SAME AGE.
YOUR HUSBAND IS ABOUT TO TURN

796
00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:57,775
ABOUT THE SAME AGE.
YOUR HUSBAND IS ABOUT TO TURN
60.

797
00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:58,976
YOUR HUSBAND IS ABOUT TO TURN
60.
>> HE'S AN OLD MAN.

798
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:01,312
60.
>> HE'S AN OLD MAN.
>> Stephen: AS A FELLOW

799
00:23:01,314 --> 00:23:02,713
>> HE'S AN OLD MAN.
>> Stephen: AS A FELLOW
EXEN-XER, IS IT HARD TO RELATE?

800
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:05,483
>> Stephen: AS A FELLOW
EXEN-XER, IS IT HARD TO RELATE?
>> IT'S THE WAY HE TALKS,

801
00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:05,950
EXEN-XER, IS IT HARD TO RELATE?
>> IT'S THE WAY HE TALKS,
THINKS-- I'M KIDDING.

802
00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:08,753
>> IT'S THE WAY HE TALKS,
THINKS-- I'M KIDDING.
DID YOU HAVE TV WHEN YOU WERE

803
00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:09,387
THINKS-- I'M KIDDING.
DID YOU HAVE TV WHEN YOU WERE
GROWING UP?

804
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:11,222
DID YOU HAVE TV WHEN YOU WERE
GROWING UP?
YEAH, NO.

805
00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:13,891
GROWING UP?
YEAH, NO.
HE'S GOING TO BE OLD!

806
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,726
YEAH, NO.
HE'S GOING TO BE OLD!
60!

807
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:16,160
HE'S GOING TO BE OLD!
60!
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>

808
00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:17,795
60!
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
BUT HE LOOKS GOOD.

809
00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:18,496
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
BUT HE LOOKS GOOD.
I LIKE HIM.

810
00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:19,530
BUT HE LOOKS GOOD.
I LIKE HIM.
SO IT'S LIKE --

811
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:20,064
I LIKE HIM.
SO IT'S LIKE --
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND.

812
00:23:20,066 --> 00:23:21,098
SO IT'S LIKE --
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND.
>> YOU'RE CUTE.

813
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:23,567
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND.
>> YOU'RE CUTE.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK GOOD FOR

814
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:24,201
>> YOU'RE CUTE.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK GOOD FOR
A 60-YEAR-OLD.

815
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:24,969
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK GOOD FOR
A 60-YEAR-OLD.
>> YEAH, YEAH.

816
00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:26,003
A 60-YEAR-OLD.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A

817
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:26,871
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK.

818
00:23:26,873 --> 00:23:28,372
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK.
STICK AROUND E'LL BE RIGHT BACK

819
00:23:28,374 --> 00:23:33,811
QUICK BREAK.
STICK AROUND E'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE OF THE STAR OF "WAFFLE

820
00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:35,546
STICK AROUND E'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE OF THE STAR OF "WAFFLE
AND MOCHI" ON

821
00:23:43,388 --> 00:23:48,859
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK WITH MY FRIEND

822
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,261
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK WITH MY FRIEND
MICHELLE, WHO YOU MIGHT KNOW AS

823
00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:52,096
WE'RE BACK WITH MY FRIEND
MICHELLE, WHO YOU MIGHT KNOW AS
THE FORMER FIRST LADY.

824
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,265
MICHELLE, WHO YOU MIGHT KNOW AS
THE FORMER FIRST LADY.
IN YOUR BOOK "BECOMING" RIGHT

825
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:54,465
THE FORMER FIRST LADY.
IN YOUR BOOK "BECOMING" RIGHT
HERE.

826
00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,634
IN YOUR BOOK "BECOMING" RIGHT
HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR THAT.

827
00:23:56,636 --> 00:24:01,372
HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR THAT.
>> Stephen: IT'S CROWN BOOKS,

828
00:24:01,374 --> 00:24:02,306
>> THANK YOU FOR THAT.
>> Stephen: IT'S CROWN BOOKS,
$32.50, CANADA'S $40.

829
00:24:02,308 --> 00:24:04,074
>> Stephen: IT'S CROWN BOOKS,
$32.50, CANADA'S $40.
LET'S TRY TO MOVE SOME PAPER

830
00:24:04,076 --> 00:24:04,742
$32.50, CANADA'S $40.
LET'S TRY TO MOVE SOME PAPER
HERE.

831
00:24:04,744 --> 00:24:05,743
LET'S TRY TO MOVE SOME PAPER
HERE.
HOW ARE SALES?

832
00:24:05,745 --> 00:24:07,144
HERE.
HOW ARE SALES?
>> THEY'RE GOING OKAY.

833
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:07,478
HOW ARE SALES?
>> THEY'RE GOING OKAY.
THEY'RE GOOD.

834
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,246
>> THEY'RE GOING OKAY.
THEY'RE GOOD.
>> Stephen: YOU WROTE DURING

835
00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:12,349
THEY'RE GOOD.
>> Stephen: YOU WROTE DURING
THE 2008 CAMPAIGN, MALIA'S

836
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:14,585
>> Stephen: YOU WROTE DURING
THE 2008 CAMPAIGN, MALIA'S
DOCTOR SAID HER B.M.I. WAS

837
00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:14,919
THE 2008 CAMPAIGN, MALIA'S
DOCTOR SAID HER B.M.I. WAS
GETTING HIGH.

838
00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,654
DOCTOR SAID HER B.M.I. WAS
GETTING HIGH.
>> WELL, IT WASN'T DURING-- I

839
00:24:16,656 --> 00:24:18,189
GETTING HIGH.
>> WELL, IT WASN'T DURING-- I
TALKED ABOUT IT, BUT IT HAPPENED

840
00:24:18,191 --> 00:24:19,890
>> WELL, IT WASN'T DURING-- I
TALKED ABOUT IT, BUT IT HAPPENED
WHEN SHE WAS MUCH YOUNGER.

841
00:24:19,892 --> 00:24:22,159
TALKED ABOUT IT, BUT IT HAPPENED
WHEN SHE WAS MUCH YOUNGER.
SHE WAS, LIKE, FOUR-- FOUR AT

842
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:22,426
WHEN SHE WAS MUCH YOUNGER.
SHE WAS, LIKE, FOUR-- FOUR AT
THE TIME.

843
00:24:22,428 --> 00:24:23,327
SHE WAS, LIKE, FOUR-- FOUR AT
THE TIME.
>> Stephen: AND THAT LED YOU

844
00:24:23,329 --> 00:24:25,329
THE TIME.
>> Stephen: AND THAT LED YOU
TO MAKE SOME CHANGES IN YOUR

845
00:24:25,331 --> 00:24:26,030
>> Stephen: AND THAT LED YOU
TO MAKE SOME CHANGES IN YOUR
FAMILY DIET.

846
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:27,331
TO MAKE SOME CHANGES IN YOUR
FAMILY DIET.
>> I MEAN, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME

847
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:29,099
FAMILY DIET.
>> I MEAN, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
THAT I REALIZED WHAT I WAS

848
00:24:29,101 --> 00:24:31,602
>> I MEAN, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
THAT I REALIZED WHAT I WAS
FEEDING MY KID WASN'T REALLY

849
00:24:31,604 --> 00:24:31,836
THAT I REALIZED WHAT I WAS
FEEDING MY KID WASN'T REALLY
HELPFUL.

850
00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:34,071
FEEDING MY KID WASN'T REALLY
HELPFUL.
BUT WE WERE IN THAT MODE.

851
00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:37,508
HELPFUL.
BUT WE WERE IN THAT MODE.
WE WERE TWO HOUSEHOLDS, PARENTS

852
00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:38,776
BUT WE WERE IN THAT MODE.
WE WERE TWO HOUSEHOLDS, PARENTS
WORKING, TRAVELING, TRYING TO

853
00:24:38,778 --> 00:24:39,543
WE WERE TWO HOUSEHOLDS, PARENTS
WORKING, TRAVELING, TRYING TO
GET THINGS DONE.

854
00:24:39,545 --> 00:24:46,083
WORKING, TRAVELING, TRYING TO
GET THINGS DONE.
SO WE WERE DOING A LOT OF QUICK,

855
00:24:46,085 --> 00:24:47,618
GET THINGS DONE.
SO WE WERE DOING A LOT OF QUICK,
FAST, YOU KNOW, READY-TO-OPEN,

856
00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:51,021
SO WE WERE DOING A LOT OF QUICK,
FAST, YOU KNOW, READY-TO-OPEN,
PROCESSED FOODS, A LOT OF SUGARY

857
00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:53,157
FAST, YOU KNOW, READY-TO-OPEN,
PROCESSED FOODS, A LOT OF SUGARY
DRINKS THAT WERE IN

858
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:53,824
PROCESSED FOODS, A LOT OF SUGARY
DRINKS THAT WERE IN
EASY-TO-CARRY PACKS.

859
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,259
DRINKS THAT WERE IN
EASY-TO-CARRY PACKS.
AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THOSE

860
00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:57,127
EASY-TO-CARRY PACKS.
AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THOSE
LITTLE THINGS WERE LOADED WITH

861
00:24:57,129 --> 00:24:58,529
AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THOSE
LITTLE THINGS WERE LOADED WITH
SUGAR AND HIDDEN SODIUM AND

862
00:24:58,531 --> 00:25:01,632
LITTLE THINGS WERE LOADED WITH
SUGAR AND HIDDEN SODIUM AND
THINGS THAT, YOU KNOW, COULD NOT

863
00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:03,167
SUGAR AND HIDDEN SODIUM AND
THINGS THAT, YOU KNOW, COULD NOT
BE GOOD FOR YOUR KIDS.

864
00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:05,135
THINGS THAT, YOU KNOW, COULD NOT
BE GOOD FOR YOUR KIDS.
AND I THOUGHT, MY GOSH, IF I

865
00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:07,338
BE GOOD FOR YOUR KIDS.
AND I THOUGHT, MY GOSH, IF I
DON'T KNOW THIS-- AND I'M

866
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:09,006
AND I THOUGHT, MY GOSH, IF I
DON'T KNOW THIS-- AND I'M
PRINCETON AND HARVARD EDUCATED

867
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:11,242
DON'T KNOW THIS-- AND I'M
PRINCETON AND HARVARD EDUCATED
AND A LAWYER, ALL THIS SORT OF

868
00:25:11,244 --> 00:25:12,676
PRINCETON AND HARVARD EDUCATED
AND A LAWYER, ALL THIS SORT OF
STUFF-- WHAT DO THE AVERAGE

869
00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:13,143
AND A LAWYER, ALL THIS SORT OF
STUFF-- WHAT DO THE AVERAGE
PARENTS KNOW?

870
00:25:13,145 --> 00:25:15,312
STUFF-- WHAT DO THE AVERAGE
PARENTS KNOW?
>> Stephen: SO THAT INTEREST

871
00:25:15,314 --> 00:25:17,014
PARENTS KNOW?
>> Stephen: SO THAT INTEREST
IN NUTRITION, ESPECIALLY FOR

872
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:19,884
>> Stephen: SO THAT INTEREST
IN NUTRITION, ESPECIALLY FOR
CHILDREN, HAS LED TO THE NEW

873
00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:22,052
IN NUTRITION, ESPECIALLY FOR
CHILDREN, HAS LED TO THE NEW
NETFLIX SHOW "WAFFLES + MOCHI."

874
00:25:22,054 --> 00:25:23,287
CHILDREN, HAS LED TO THE NEW
NETFLIX SHOW "WAFFLES + MOCHI."
AND YOUR INVOLVEMENT WITH A

875
00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:25,923
NETFLIX SHOW "WAFFLES + MOCHI."
AND YOUR INVOLVEMENT WITH A
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHIER

876
00:25:25,925 --> 00:25:26,223
AND YOUR INVOLVEMENT WITH A
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHIER
AMERICA.

877
00:25:26,225 --> 00:25:27,224
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHIER
AMERICA.
LET'S TALK "WAFFLES + MOCHI."

878
00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:29,860
AMERICA.
LET'S TALK "WAFFLES + MOCHI."
>> AREN'T THEY ADORABLE?

879
00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:30,661
LET'S TALK "WAFFLES + MOCHI."
>> AREN'T THEY ADORABLE?
>> Stephen: THERE'S MOCHI,

880
00:25:30,663 --> 00:25:34,064
>> AREN'T THEY ADORABLE?
>> Stephen: THERE'S MOCHI,
OBVIOUSLY, LOOKING LUKE A MOCHI.

881
00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:37,101
>> Stephen: THERE'S MOCHI,
OBVIOUSLY, LOOKING LUKE A MOCHI.
THIS IS WAFFLES, AN INTERESTING

882
00:25:37,103 --> 00:25:37,368
OBVIOUSLY, LOOKING LUKE A MOCHI.
THIS IS WAFFLES, AN INTERESTING
BACKSTORY.

883
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:39,003
THIS IS WAFFLES, AN INTERESTING
BACKSTORY.
WE LEARN IN THE FIRST EPISODE,

884
00:25:39,005 --> 00:25:40,604
BACKSTORY.
WE LEARN IN THE FIRST EPISODE,
THAT WAFFLE RIGHT HERE, WAFFLE'S

885
00:25:40,606 --> 00:25:42,172
WE LEARN IN THE FIRST EPISODE,
THAT WAFFLE RIGHT HERE, WAFFLE'S
FATHER SAY FROZEN WAFFLE, AND

886
00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:44,475
THAT WAFFLE RIGHT HERE, WAFFLE'S
FATHER SAY FROZEN WAFFLE, AND
HIS MOTHER IS A YEDI.

887
00:25:44,477 --> 00:25:45,910
FATHER SAY FROZEN WAFFLE, AND
HIS MOTHER IS A YEDI.
>> IT'S A MIXED MARRIAGE.

888
00:25:45,912 --> 00:25:47,278
HIS MOTHER IS A YEDI.
>> IT'S A MIXED MARRIAGE.
>> Stephen: YEAH, THEY MAKE IT

889
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:47,478
>> IT'S A MIXED MARRIAGE.
>> Stephen: YEAH, THEY MAKE IT
WORK?

890
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:48,913
>> Stephen: YEAH, THEY MAKE IT
WORK?
>> WHEN YOU MEET IN THE LAND OF

891
00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:50,714
WORK?
>> WHEN YOU MEET IN THE LAND OF
FROZEN FOOD, ANYTHING CAN

892
00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:50,948
>> WHEN YOU MEET IN THE LAND OF
FROZEN FOOD, ANYTHING CAN
HAPPEN.

893
00:25:50,950 --> 00:25:52,082
FROZEN FOOD, ANYTHING CAN
HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: SURE.

894
00:25:52,084 --> 00:25:56,020
HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: SURE.
WELL, IT'S CURIOUS HOW THAT

895
00:25:56,022 --> 00:25:56,253
>> Stephen: SURE.
WELL, IT'S CURIOUS HOW THAT
HAPPENS.

896
00:25:56,255 --> 00:25:57,888
WELL, IT'S CURIOUS HOW THAT
HAPPENS.
IT PAINT A PICTURE, DAD IS A

897
00:25:57,890 --> 00:25:59,990
HAPPENS.
IT PAINT A PICTURE, DAD IS A
WAFFLE, MOM IS A YEDI.

898
00:25:59,992 --> 00:26:03,327
IT PAINT A PICTURE, DAD IS A
WAFFLE, MOM IS A YEDI.
>> WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE IT THAT

899
00:26:03,329 --> 00:26:03,594
WAFFLE, MOM IS A YEDI.
>> WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE IT THAT
EXPLICIT.

900
00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:05,863
>> WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE IT THAT
EXPLICIT.
WAFFLES IS HERE, AND SHE'S

901
00:26:05,865 --> 00:26:06,096
EXPLICIT.
WAFFLES IS HERE, AND SHE'S
MAGICAL.

902
00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:06,564
WAFFLES IS HERE, AND SHE'S
MAGICAL.
>> Stephen: YES.

903
00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:08,766
MAGICAL.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> SHE WAS-- SHE WAS CREATED

904
00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:09,466
>> Stephen: YES.
>> SHE WAS-- SHE WAS CREATED
WITH LOVE.

905
00:26:09,468 --> 00:26:13,504
>> SHE WAS-- SHE WAS CREATED
WITH LOVE.
>> Stephen: AREN'T WE ALL?

906
00:26:13,506 --> 00:26:13,837
WITH LOVE.
>> Stephen: AREN'T WE ALL?
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>

907
00:26:13,839 --> 00:26:15,339
>> Stephen: AREN'T WE ALL?
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE'VE ALL

908
00:26:15,341 --> 00:26:18,309
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE'VE ALL
LEARNED DURING THE COVID

909
00:26:18,311 --> 00:26:20,210
ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE'VE ALL
LEARNED DURING THE COVID
PANDEMIC IS IT REVEALED SOME OF

910
00:26:20,212 --> 00:26:22,079
LEARNED DURING THE COVID
PANDEMIC IS IT REVEALED SOME OF
THE INEQUITIES IN OUR-- IN OUR--

911
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:24,348
PANDEMIC IS IT REVEALED SOME OF
THE INEQUITIES IN OUR-- IN OUR--
THE SYSTEM OF FOOD SUPPLY, IN

912
00:26:24,350 --> 00:26:25,849
THE INEQUITIES IN OUR-- IN OUR--
THE SYSTEM OF FOOD SUPPLY, IN
OUR HEALTH SYSTEM, AND HOW ALL

913
00:26:25,851 --> 00:26:28,919
THE SYSTEM OF FOOD SUPPLY, IN
OUR HEALTH SYSTEM, AND HOW ALL
THOSE THINGS HAVE AN IMPACT ON

914
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,688
OUR HEALTH SYSTEM, AND HOW ALL
THOSE THINGS HAVE AN IMPACT ON
PEOPLE'S ABILITY TO REACT AND

915
00:26:30,690 --> 00:26:31,322
THOSE THINGS HAVE AN IMPACT ON
PEOPLE'S ABILITY TO REACT AND
SURVIVE COVID.

916
00:26:31,324 --> 00:26:32,590
PEOPLE'S ABILITY TO REACT AND
SURVIVE COVID.
>> YEAH.

917
00:26:32,592 --> 00:26:36,360
SURVIVE COVID.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HOW DOES THE

918
00:26:36,362 --> 00:26:37,294
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HOW DOES THE
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHY

919
00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:38,495
>> Stephen: HOW DOES THE
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHY
AMERICA WANT TO ADDRESS THAT?

920
00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:39,863
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHY
AMERICA WANT TO ADDRESS THAT?
IS THAT SOME PART OF WHAT YOU'RE

921
00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:40,397
AMERICA WANT TO ADDRESS THAT?
IS THAT SOME PART OF WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT?

922
00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:40,798
IS THAT SOME PART OF WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT?
>> ABSOLUTELY.

923
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,535
TALKING ABOUT?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
THE SHOW IS A FUN FAMILY

924
00:26:44,537 --> 00:26:46,537
>> ABSOLUTELY.
THE SHOW IS A FUN FAMILY
ADVENTURE WHERE THESE WONDERFUL

925
00:26:46,539 --> 00:26:47,338
THE SHOW IS A FUN FAMILY
ADVENTURE WHERE THESE WONDERFUL
CHARACTERS TRAVEL THE WORLD.

926
00:26:47,340 --> 00:26:49,707
ADVENTURE WHERE THESE WONDERFUL
CHARACTERS TRAVEL THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: YOU MEAN WAFFLES

927
00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:50,474
CHARACTERS TRAVEL THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: YOU MEAN WAFFLES
AND MOCHI?

928
00:26:50,476 --> 00:26:52,176
>> Stephen: YOU MEAN WAFFLES
AND MOCHI?
>> WAFFLES AND MOCHI, AND THEY

929
00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:53,677
AND MOCHI?
>> WAFFLES AND MOCHI, AND THEY
EXPLORE FOODS, AND THEY LEARN

930
00:26:53,679 --> 00:26:54,311
>> WAFFLES AND MOCHI, AND THEY
EXPLORE FOODS, AND THEY LEARN
ABOUT THEM.

931
00:26:54,313 --> 00:26:56,580
EXPLORE FOODS, AND THEY LEARN
ABOUT THEM.
IT'S DESIGNED TO ENCOURAGE KIDS

932
00:26:56,582 --> 00:26:57,815
ABOUT THEM.
IT'S DESIGNED TO ENCOURAGE KIDS
TO TRY NEW THINGS.

933
00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:59,116
IT'S DESIGNED TO ENCOURAGE KIDS
TO TRY NEW THINGS.
IT'S NOT JUDGMENTAL.

934
00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:00,217
TO TRY NEW THINGS.
IT'S NOT JUDGMENTAL.
IT'S FUN.

935
00:27:00,219 --> 00:27:00,484
IT'S NOT JUDGMENTAL.
IT'S FUN.
EXCITING.

936
00:27:00,486 --> 00:27:01,518
IT'S FUN.
EXCITING.
IT'S A TRAVEL SHOW.

937
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,320
EXCITING.
IT'S A TRAVEL SHOW.
SO WE WERE THINKING WHAT ABOUT

938
00:27:03,322 --> 00:27:05,823
IT'S A TRAVEL SHOW.
SO WE WERE THINKING WHAT ABOUT
THE FAMILIES THAT CAN'T AFFORD

939
00:27:05,825 --> 00:27:07,958
SO WE WERE THINKING WHAT ABOUT
THE FAMILIES THAT CAN'T AFFORD
THIS FOOD, DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO

940
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:08,726
THE FAMILIES THAT CAN'T AFFORD
THIS FOOD, DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO
IT, YOU KNOW?

941
00:27:08,728 --> 00:27:12,896
THIS FOOD, DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO
IT, YOU KNOW?
THEY CAN'T PARTICIPATE BECAUSE

942
00:27:12,898 --> 00:27:13,530
IT, YOU KNOW?
THEY CAN'T PARTICIPATE BECAUSE
THERE ARE MILLIONS OF FAMILIES

943
00:27:13,532 --> 00:27:15,265
THEY CAN'T PARTICIPATE BECAUSE
THERE ARE MILLIONS OF FAMILIES
IN AMERICA THAT ARE GOING HUNGRY

944
00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:17,768
THERE ARE MILLIONS OF FAMILIES
IN AMERICA THAT ARE GOING HUNGRY
IN ONE OF THE RICHEST NATIONS ON

945
00:27:17,770 --> 00:27:19,670
IN AMERICA THAT ARE GOING HUNGRY
IN ONE OF THE RICHEST NATIONS ON
THIS EARTH, WE'VE GOT FAMILIES

946
00:27:19,672 --> 00:27:20,237
IN ONE OF THE RICHEST NATIONS ON
THIS EARTH, WE'VE GOT FAMILIES
GOING HUNGRY.

947
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:21,605
THIS EARTH, WE'VE GOT FAMILIES
GOING HUNGRY.
AND IT'S NOT THAT WE DON'T HAVE

948
00:27:21,607 --> 00:27:22,039
GOING HUNGRY.
AND IT'S NOT THAT WE DON'T HAVE
THE FOOD.

949
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:25,042
AND IT'S NOT THAT WE DON'T HAVE
THE FOOD.
YOU KNOW, WE JUST DON'T HAVE THE

950
00:27:25,044 --> 00:27:26,777
THE FOOD.
YOU KNOW, WE JUST DON'T HAVE THE
SYSTEM OF EQUITY THAT MAKES SURE

951
00:27:26,779 --> 00:27:28,412
YOU KNOW, WE JUST DON'T HAVE THE
SYSTEM OF EQUITY THAT MAKES SURE
THAT PEOPLE CAN EAT.

952
00:27:28,414 --> 00:27:31,248
SYSTEM OF EQUITY THAT MAKES SURE
THAT PEOPLE CAN EAT.
SO WE'VE DEVELOPED SOMETHING

953
00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:31,882
THAT PEOPLE CAN EAT.
SO WE'VE DEVELOPED SOMETHING
CALLED "PASS THE LOVE" CAMPAIGN,

954
00:27:31,884 --> 00:27:34,084
SO WE'VE DEVELOPED SOMETHING
CALLED "PASS THE LOVE" CAMPAIGN,
WHERE WE'RE WORKING TO PROVIDE

955
00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:36,520
CALLED "PASS THE LOVE" CAMPAIGN,
WHERE WE'RE WORKING TO PROVIDE
MEALS TO FAMILIES, MEAL KITS

956
00:27:36,522 --> 00:27:38,989
WHERE WE'RE WORKING TO PROVIDE
MEALS TO FAMILIES, MEAL KITS
THAT ALLOW ONE MILLION FAMILIES

957
00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:40,858
MEALS TO FAMILIES, MEAL KITS
THAT ALLOW ONE MILLION FAMILIES
TO PREPARE THESE WONDERFUL

958
00:27:40,860 --> 00:27:41,058
THAT ALLOW ONE MILLION FAMILIES
TO PREPARE THESE WONDERFUL
MEALS.

959
00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:42,860
TO PREPARE THESE WONDERFUL
MEALS.
>> Stephen: HOW DO THEY GET

960
00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:43,060
MEALS.
>> Stephen: HOW DO THEY GET
THEM?

961
00:27:43,062 --> 00:27:44,962
>> Stephen: HOW DO THEY GET
THEM?
>> FOR THEIR KIDS.

962
00:27:44,964 --> 00:27:45,829
THEM?
>> FOR THEIR KIDS.
WE'RE WORKING WITH THE

963
00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:47,064
>> FOR THEIR KIDS.
WE'RE WORKING WITH THE
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHIER

964
00:27:47,066 --> 00:27:49,967
WE'RE WORKING WITH THE
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHIER
AMERICA, ALONG WITH WALMART AND

965
00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:51,568
PARTNERSHIP FOR A HEALTHIER
AMERICA, ALONG WITH WALMART AND
BLUE APRON, BIRD'S EYE AND

966
00:27:51,570 --> 00:27:52,002
AMERICA, ALONG WITH WALMART AND
BLUE APRON, BIRD'S EYE AND
BOUNTY.

967
00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:53,370
BLUE APRON, BIRD'S EYE AND
BOUNTY.
SO WE'VE GOT PARTNERS THAT ARE

968
00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:55,205
BOUNTY.
SO WE'VE GOT PARTNERS THAT ARE
GOING TO WORK TO, YOU KNOW,

969
00:27:55,207 --> 00:27:57,241
SO WE'VE GOT PARTNERS THAT ARE
GOING TO WORK TO, YOU KNOW,
RAISE THIS MONEY AND GET THESE

970
00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:59,043
GOING TO WORK TO, YOU KNOW,
RAISE THIS MONEY AND GET THESE
MEAL KITS TO FAMILIES.

971
00:27:59,045 --> 00:28:01,879
RAISE THIS MONEY AND GET THESE
MEAL KITS TO FAMILIES.
BUT THAT ALONE WILL NOT SOLVE

972
00:28:01,881 --> 00:28:03,047
MEAL KITS TO FAMILIES.
BUT THAT ALONE WILL NOT SOLVE
THIS ISSUE.

973
00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:03,247
BUT THAT ALONE WILL NOT SOLVE
THIS ISSUE.
AND --

974
00:28:03,249 --> 00:28:05,249
THIS ISSUE.
AND --
>> Stephen: I HAVE A BIG

975
00:28:05,251 --> 00:28:06,483
AND --
>> Stephen: I HAVE A BIG
QUESTION, AND I HOPE YOU DON'T

976
00:28:06,485 --> 00:28:08,285
>> Stephen: I HAVE A BIG
QUESTION, AND I HOPE YOU DON'T
FIND THIS A STRANGE QUESTION.

977
00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:10,087
QUESTION, AND I HOPE YOU DON'T
FIND THIS A STRANGE QUESTION.
BUT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

978
00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:11,121
FIND THIS A STRANGE QUESTION.
BUT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
BECAUSE THIS SEEMS VERY MUCH

979
00:28:11,123 --> 00:28:13,223
BUT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
BECAUSE THIS SEEMS VERY MUCH
LIKE THE SORT OF THING A FIRST

980
00:28:13,225 --> 00:28:14,258
BECAUSE THIS SEEMS VERY MUCH
LIKE THE SORT OF THING A FIRST
LADY WOULD DO.

981
00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:16,660
LIKE THE SORT OF THING A FIRST
LADY WOULD DO.
AND YOU ACTUALLY ARE UNDER NO

982
00:28:16,662 --> 00:28:17,928
LADY WOULD DO.
AND YOU ACTUALLY ARE UNDER NO
OBLIGATION TO ACTUALLY BE

983
00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:18,862
AND YOU ACTUALLY ARE UNDER NO
OBLIGATION TO ACTUALLY BE
HELPFUL TO THE REST OF SOCIETY

984
00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:19,630
OBLIGATION TO ACTUALLY BE
HELPFUL TO THE REST OF SOCIETY
RIGHT NOW.

985
00:28:19,632 --> 00:28:21,131
HELPFUL TO THE REST OF SOCIETY
RIGHT NOW.
YOU PAID YOUR DUES.

986
00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,933
RIGHT NOW.
YOU PAID YOUR DUES.
YOU DID YOUR TIME AS THE FIRST

987
00:28:22,935 --> 00:28:23,133
YOU PAID YOUR DUES.
YOU DID YOUR TIME AS THE FIRST
LADY.

988
00:28:23,135 --> 00:28:26,370
YOU DID YOUR TIME AS THE FIRST
LADY.
DID A GREAT JOB, "LET'S MOVE"

989
00:28:26,372 --> 00:28:28,105
LADY.
DID A GREAT JOB, "LET'S MOVE"
WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL.

990
00:28:28,107 --> 00:28:29,506
DID A GREAT JOB, "LET'S MOVE"
WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL.
BUT THERE IS NO EXPECTATION THAT

991
00:28:29,508 --> 00:28:30,708
WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL.
BUT THERE IS NO EXPECTATION THAT
YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AT

992
00:28:30,710 --> 00:28:31,008
BUT THERE IS NO EXPECTATION THAT
YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AT
THIS POINT.

993
00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:31,575
YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AT
THIS POINT.
>> NO, NO.

994
00:28:31,577 --> 00:28:33,210
THIS POINT.
>> NO, NO.
>> Stephen: WHAT MAKES YOU

995
00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:33,577
>> NO, NO.
>> Stephen: WHAT MAKES YOU
WANT TO DO IT?

996
00:28:33,579 --> 00:28:35,913
>> Stephen: WHAT MAKES YOU
WANT TO DO IT?
>> IT'S MY OWN PERSONAL

997
00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:36,213
WANT TO DO IT?
>> IT'S MY OWN PERSONAL
EXPECTATION.

998
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:37,314
>> IT'S MY OWN PERSONAL
EXPECTATION.
WE STILL HAVE AN AMAZING

999
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:38,816
EXPECTATION.
WE STILL HAVE AN AMAZING
PLATFORM, AND WE'RE STILL YOUNG.

1000
00:28:38,818 --> 00:28:39,950
WE STILL HAVE AN AMAZING
PLATFORM, AND WE'RE STILL YOUNG.
BARACK ISN'T, BUT I AM.

1001
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:42,820
PLATFORM, AND WE'RE STILL YOUNG.
BARACK ISN'T, BUT I AM.
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.

1002
00:28:42,822 --> 00:28:43,287
BARACK ISN'T, BUT I AM.
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.
<i> (  LAUGHTER  )</i>

1003
00:28:43,289 --> 00:28:45,522
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.
<i> (  LAUGHTER  )</i>
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF YEARS LEFT.

1004
00:28:45,524 --> 00:28:47,291
<i> (  LAUGHTER  )</i>
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF YEARS LEFT.
AND IT'S HARD TO JUST SIT BACK

1005
00:28:47,293 --> 00:28:49,626
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF YEARS LEFT.
AND IT'S HARD TO JUST SIT BACK
AND NOT CONTINUE TO BE ENGAGED

1006
00:28:49,628 --> 00:28:51,161
AND IT'S HARD TO JUST SIT BACK
AND NOT CONTINUE TO BE ENGAGED
IN ISSUES THAT MATTER.

1007
00:28:51,163 --> 00:28:52,496
AND NOT CONTINUE TO BE ENGAGED
IN ISSUES THAT MATTER.
AND WE HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF

1008
00:28:52,498 --> 00:28:54,898
IN ISSUES THAT MATTER.
AND WE HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF
HAVING THIS AMAZING DEAL WITH

1009
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:58,836
AND WE HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF
HAVING THIS AMAZING DEAL WITH
NETFLIX THROUGH OUR HIGHER

1010
00:28:58,838 --> 00:28:59,803
HAVING THIS AMAZING DEAL WITH
NETFLIX THROUGH OUR HIGHER
GROUND PRODUCTION COMPANY, WHERE

1011
00:28:59,805 --> 00:29:01,705
NETFLIX THROUGH OUR HIGHER
GROUND PRODUCTION COMPANY, WHERE
WE CAN CREATE SHOWS AND DO

1012
00:29:01,707 --> 00:29:03,307
GROUND PRODUCTION COMPANY, WHERE
WE CAN CREATE SHOWS AND DO
THINGS.

1013
00:29:03,309 --> 00:29:05,709
WE CAN CREATE SHOWS AND DO
THINGS.
WE'VE GOT THIS NEW PLATFORM.

1014
00:29:05,711 --> 00:29:06,510
THINGS.
WE'VE GOT THIS NEW PLATFORM.
WE STRIL US.

1015
00:29:06,512 --> 00:29:08,011
WE'VE GOT THIS NEW PLATFORM.
WE STRIL US.
WE'RE THINKING OKAY IF WE'RE

1016
00:29:08,013 --> 00:29:10,013
WE STRIL US.
WE'RE THINKING OKAY IF WE'RE
GOING TO DO THIS SHOW, WHAT

1017
00:29:10,015 --> 00:29:11,081
WE'RE THINKING OKAY IF WE'RE
GOING TO DO THIS SHOW, WHAT
ABOUT FAMILIES IN NEED THAT

1018
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:11,615
GOING TO DO THIS SHOW, WHAT
ABOUT FAMILIES IN NEED THAT
CAN'T ENGAGE?

1019
00:29:11,617 --> 00:29:13,851
ABOUT FAMILIES IN NEED THAT
CAN'T ENGAGE?
WHAT CAN WE DO TO BRIDGE THAT

1020
00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:14,051
CAN'T ENGAGE?
WHAT CAN WE DO TO BRIDGE THAT
GAP?

1021
00:29:14,053 --> 00:29:15,385
WHAT CAN WE DO TO BRIDGE THAT
GAP?
AND WE STILL HAVE RELATIONSHIPS

1022
00:29:15,387 --> 00:29:18,856
GAP?
AND WE STILL HAVE RELATIONSHIPS
WITH THE PARTNERSHIP FOR A

1023
00:29:18,858 --> 00:29:19,757
AND WE STILL HAVE RELATIONSHIPS
WITH THE PARTNERSHIP FOR A
HEALTHIER AMERICA WHICH WE

1024
00:29:19,759 --> 00:29:20,691
WITH THE PARTNERSHIP FOR A
HEALTHIER AMERICA WHICH WE
STARTED AS FIRST LADY THROUGH

1025
00:29:20,693 --> 00:29:22,893
HEALTHIER AMERICA WHICH WE
STARTED AS FIRST LADY THROUGH
OUR "LET'S MOVE" INITIATIVE, AND

1026
00:29:22,895 --> 00:29:24,394
STARTED AS FIRST LADY THROUGH
OUR "LET'S MOVE" INITIATIVE, AND
THEY'RE STILL WORKING ON THESE

1027
00:29:24,396 --> 00:29:24,628
OUR "LET'S MOVE" INITIATIVE, AND
THEY'RE STILL WORKING ON THESE
ISSUES.

1028
00:29:24,630 --> 00:29:26,563
THEY'RE STILL WORKING ON THESE
ISSUES.
SO WE'RE NOT DONE YET, NOR

1029
00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:27,898
ISSUES.
SO WE'RE NOT DONE YET, NOR
SHOULD WE BE.

1030
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,767
SO WE'RE NOT DONE YET, NOR
SHOULD WE BE.
THAT'S PART OF KIND OF THE

1031
00:29:29,769 --> 00:29:30,400
SHOULD WE BE.
THAT'S PART OF KIND OF THE
RESPONSIBILITY OF FORMERS.

1032
00:29:30,402 --> 00:29:32,002
THAT'S PART OF KIND OF THE
RESPONSIBILITY OF FORMERS.
WE STILL HAVE A PLATFORM.

1033
00:29:32,004 --> 00:29:34,171
RESPONSIBILITY OF FORMERS.
WE STILL HAVE A PLATFORM.
AND WE'RE STILL WORKING ON

1034
00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:35,038
WE STILL HAVE A PLATFORM.
AND WE'RE STILL WORKING ON
GIRLS' EDUCATION.

1035
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,107
AND WE'RE STILL WORKING ON
GIRLS' EDUCATION.
EVERY ISSUE THEY WORKED ON AS

1036
00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:39,343
GIRLS' EDUCATION.
EVERY ISSUE THEY WORKED ON AS
FIRST LADY I'M STILL WORKING ON.

1037
00:29:39,345 --> 00:29:41,044
EVERY ISSUE THEY WORKED ON AS
FIRST LADY I'M STILL WORKING ON.
WE STILL DID A COLLEGE SIGNING

1038
00:29:41,046 --> 00:29:43,247
FIRST LADY I'M STILL WORKING ON.
WE STILL DID A COLLEGE SIGNING
DAY WITH "REACH HIGHER."

1039
00:29:43,249 --> 00:29:45,349
WE STILL DID A COLLEGE SIGNING
DAY WITH "REACH HIGHER."
WE'RE GOING TO DO MORE

1040
00:29:45,351 --> 00:29:46,250
DAY WITH "REACH HIGHER."
WE'RE GOING TO DO MORE
LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT AND

1041
00:29:46,252 --> 00:29:47,484
WE'RE GOING TO DO MORE
LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT AND
MENTORSHIP THROUGH THE

1042
00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:47,785
LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT AND
MENTORSHIP THROUGH THE
FOUNDATION.

1043
00:29:47,787 --> 00:29:48,652
MENTORSHIP THROUGH THE
FOUNDATION.
SO YOU CAN DO BOTH.

1044
00:29:48,654 --> 00:29:52,089
FOUNDATION.
SO YOU CAN DO BOTH.
YOU CAN DO WELL AND YOU CAN DO

1045
00:29:52,091 --> 00:29:52,489
SO YOU CAN DO BOTH.
YOU CAN DO WELL AND YOU CAN DO
GOOD.

1046
00:29:52,491 --> 00:29:54,458
YOU CAN DO WELL AND YOU CAN DO
GOOD.
AND IT-- IT'S JUST A LOT MORE

1047
00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:54,625
GOOD.
AND IT-- IT'S JUST A LOT MORE
FUN.

1048
00:29:54,627 --> 00:29:56,160
AND IT-- IT'S JUST A LOT MORE
FUN.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A

1049
00:29:56,162 --> 00:29:56,360
FUN.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
BREAK.

1050
00:29:56,362 --> 00:29:58,061
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
BREAK.
YOU AND I STAY HERE, BUT THEY

1051
00:29:58,063 --> 00:29:58,262
BREAK.
YOU AND I STAY HERE, BUT THEY
LEAVE.

1052
00:29:58,264 --> 00:29:59,229
YOU AND I STAY HERE, BUT THEY
LEAVE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

1053
00:29:59,231 --> 00:29:59,463
LEAVE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ ♪ ♪

1054
00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:14,878
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF

1055
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,346
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF
"BECOMING" AND THE STAR AND

1056
00:30:16,348 --> 00:30:19,550
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF
"BECOMING" AND THE STAR AND
PRODUCER OF "WAFFLES + MOCHI" ON

1057
00:30:19,552 --> 00:30:20,083
"BECOMING" AND THE STAR AND
PRODUCER OF "WAFFLES + MOCHI" ON
NETFLIX, MICHELLE OBAMA.

1058
00:30:20,085 --> 00:30:22,019
PRODUCER OF "WAFFLES + MOCHI" ON
NETFLIX, MICHELLE OBAMA.
LET'S DO A QUICK SPEED ROUND.

1059
00:30:22,021 --> 00:30:24,588
NETFLIX, MICHELLE OBAMA.
LET'S DO A QUICK SPEED ROUND.
WE'RE ALL ABOUT PROMOTING BETTER

1060
00:30:24,590 --> 00:30:25,956
LET'S DO A QUICK SPEED ROUND.
WE'RE ALL ABOUT PROMOTING BETTER
FOOD CHOICES.

1061
00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:28,792
WE'RE ALL ABOUT PROMOTING BETTER
FOOD CHOICES.
WE DON'T ADVERTISE ANY PROCESSED

1062
00:30:28,794 --> 00:30:33,864
FOOD CHOICES.
WE DON'T ADVERTISE ANY PROCESSED
HOODZ ON "L "LATE SHOW,"" RIGHT?

1063
00:30:33,866 --> 00:30:34,198
WE DON'T ADVERTISE ANY PROCESSED
HOODZ ON "L "LATE SHOW,"" RIGHT?
>> NO.

1064
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,566
HOODZ ON "L "LATE SHOW,"" RIGHT?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED CHOOSE

1065
00:30:35,568 --> 00:30:36,600
>> NO.
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED CHOOSE
OR LOSE.

1066
00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:37,201
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED CHOOSE
OR LOSE.
APPLES OR ORANGES?

1067
00:30:37,203 --> 00:30:38,836
OR LOSE.
APPLES OR ORANGES?
>> ORANGES.

1068
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:40,370
APPLES OR ORANGES?
>> ORANGES.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A VERY

1069
00:30:40,372 --> 00:30:42,139
>> ORANGES.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A VERY
IMPORTANT ONE-- CANTALOUPE OR

1070
00:30:42,141 --> 00:30:42,406
>> Stephen: THIS IS A VERY
IMPORTANT ONE-- CANTALOUPE OR
HONEY DUE.

1071
00:30:42,408 --> 00:30:44,608
IMPORTANT ONE-- CANTALOUPE OR
HONEY DUE.
>> I DON'T LIKE EITHER.

1072
00:30:44,610 --> 00:30:49,012
HONEY DUE.
>> I DON'T LIKE EITHER.
I DON'T LIKE HONEY DEW--

1073
00:30:49,014 --> 00:30:49,379
>> I DON'T LIKE EITHER.
I DON'T LIKE HONEY DEW--
LONG-STANDING --

1074
00:30:49,381 --> 00:30:50,881
I DON'T LIKE HONEY DEW--
LONG-STANDING --
>> Stephen: I CAN UNDERSTAND

1075
00:30:50,883 --> 00:30:52,216
LONG-STANDING --
>> Stephen: I CAN UNDERSTAND
NOT LIKING CANTALOUPE BECAUSE

1076
00:30:52,218 --> 00:30:53,550
>> Stephen: I CAN UNDERSTAND
NOT LIKING CANTALOUPE BECAUSE
IT'S A TRASH FRUIT.

1077
00:30:53,552 --> 00:30:55,552
NOT LIKING CANTALOUPE BECAUSE
IT'S A TRASH FRUIT.
>> IT'S WATERY.

1078
00:30:55,554 --> 00:30:56,753
IT'S A TRASH FRUIT.
>> IT'S WATERY.
>> Stephen: IT'S ON THERE JUST

1079
00:30:56,755 --> 00:30:57,721
>> IT'S WATERY.
>> Stephen: IT'S ON THERE JUST
TO FILL OUT THE BUFFET.

1080
00:30:57,723 --> 00:31:00,290
>> Stephen: IT'S ON THERE JUST
TO FILL OUT THE BUFFET.
>> I HATE WHEN IT'S ON THERE.

1081
00:31:00,292 --> 00:31:00,757
TO FILL OUT THE BUFFET.
>> I HATE WHEN IT'S ON THERE.
THOSE CUBES.

1082
00:31:00,759 --> 00:31:03,160
>> I HATE WHEN IT'S ON THERE.
THOSE CUBES.
AND THEN THEY KIT CUTINTO THE

1083
00:31:03,162 --> 00:31:03,360
THOSE CUBES.
AND THEN THEY KIT CUTINTO THE
RIND.

1084
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:04,228
AND THEN THEY KIT CUTINTO THE
RIND.
IT'S NEVER GOOD.

1085
00:31:04,230 --> 00:31:09,967
RIND.
IT'S NEVER GOOD.
.>> Stephen: IT'S LIKE BARK.

1086
00:31:09,969 --> 00:31:11,235
IT'S NEVER GOOD.
.>> Stephen: IT'S LIKE BARK.
>> WATERMELON I LIKE.

1087
00:31:11,237 --> 00:31:12,769
.>> Stephen: IT'S LIKE BARK.
>> WATERMELON I LIKE.
>> Stephen: SEEDED OR

1088
00:31:12,771 --> 00:31:13,036
>> WATERMELON I LIKE.
>> Stephen: SEEDED OR
SEEDLESS?

1089
00:31:13,038 --> 00:31:14,605
>> Stephen: SEEDED OR
SEEDLESS?
>> I DON'T CARE, JUICY.

1090
00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:15,539
SEEDLESS?
>> I DON'T CARE, JUICY.
>> Stephen: I LIKE THE SEEDS.

1091
00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:17,541
>> I DON'T CARE, JUICY.
>> Stephen: I LIKE THE SEEDS.
>> YOU LUKE TO SPIT THEM BACK

1092
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:18,242
>> Stephen: I LIKE THE SEEDS.
>> YOU LUKE TO SPIT THEM BACK
OUT AT PEOPLE.

1093
00:31:18,244 --> 00:31:19,643
>> YOU LUKE TO SPIT THEM BACK
OUT AT PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: IT'S A PARTY GAME.

1094
00:31:19,645 --> 00:31:20,711
OUT AT PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: IT'S A PARTY GAME.
>> SO TELLING.

1095
00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,379
>> Stephen: IT'S A PARTY GAME.
>> SO TELLING.
>> Stephen: CHOCOLATE OR

1096
00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:22,613
>> SO TELLING.
>> Stephen: CHOCOLATE OR
VANILLA.

1097
00:31:22,615 --> 00:31:23,547
>> Stephen: CHOCOLATE OR
VANILLA.
>> CHOCOLATE ALL THE WAY.

1098
00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:27,651
VANILLA.
>> CHOCOLATE ALL THE WAY.
I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND VANILLA.

1099
00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:29,253
>> CHOCOLATE ALL THE WAY.
I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND VANILLA.
VANILLA IS JUST A SORT OF

1100
00:31:29,255 --> 00:31:29,786
I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND VANILLA.
VANILLA IS JUST A SORT OF
DISAPPOINTING CHOCOLATE.

1101
00:31:29,788 --> 00:31:31,421
VANILLA IS JUST A SORT OF
DISAPPOINTING CHOCOLATE.
>> Stephen: THERE IS VANILLA

1102
00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:32,990
DISAPPOINTING CHOCOLATE.
>> Stephen: THERE IS VANILLA
IN CHOCOLATE, BUT THERE'S NO

1103
00:31:32,992 --> 00:31:34,324
>> Stephen: THERE IS VANILLA
IN CHOCOLATE, BUT THERE'S NO
CHOCOLATE IN VANILLA.

1104
00:31:34,326 --> 00:31:34,691
IN CHOCOLATE, BUT THERE'S NO
CHOCOLATE IN VANILLA.
>> YEAH.

1105
00:31:34,693 --> 00:31:36,260
CHOCOLATE IN VANILLA.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID I JUST BLOW

1106
00:31:36,262 --> 00:31:36,627
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID I JUST BLOW
YOUR MIND?

1107
00:31:36,629 --> 00:31:37,094
>> Stephen: DID I JUST BLOW
YOUR MIND?
>> YOU DID.

1108
00:31:37,096 --> 00:31:38,762
YOUR MIND?
>> YOU DID.
I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A

1109
00:31:38,764 --> 00:31:38,996
>> YOU DID.
I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A
MINUTE.

1110
00:31:38,998 --> 00:31:40,797
I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A
MINUTE.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A VERY

1111
00:31:40,799 --> 00:31:41,665
MINUTE.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A VERY
IMPORTANT CHICAGO QUESTION: DEEP

1112
00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:43,233
>> Stephen: THIS IS A VERY
IMPORTANT CHICAGO QUESTION: DEEP
DISH OR THIN CRUST?

1113
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,736
IMPORTANT CHICAGO QUESTION: DEEP
DISH OR THIN CRUST?
>> THIN CRUST, I GREW UP ON THE

1114
00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:46,136
DISH OR THIN CRUST?
>> THIN CRUST, I GREW UP ON THE
SOUTH SIDE.

1115
00:31:46,138 --> 00:31:47,537
>> THIN CRUST, I GREW UP ON THE
SOUTH SIDE.
>> Stephen: THERE'S NO DEEP

1116
00:31:47,539 --> 00:31:48,372
SOUTH SIDE.
>> Stephen: THERE'S NO DEEP
DISH ON THE SOUTH SIDE?

1117
00:31:48,374 --> 00:31:51,141
>> Stephen: THERE'S NO DEEP
DISH ON THE SOUTH SIDE?
>> WELL, THERE IS A KIND OF THIN

1118
00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:53,543
DISH ON THE SOUTH SIDE?
>> WELL, THERE IS A KIND OF THIN
CRUST, THIS PIZZERIA IN MY

1119
00:31:53,545 --> 00:31:55,345
>> WELL, THERE IS A KIND OF THIN
CRUST, THIS PIZZERIA IN MY
NEIGHBORHOOD, ITALIAN FIESTA,

1120
00:31:55,347 --> 00:31:56,513
CRUST, THIS PIZZERIA IN MY
NEIGHBORHOOD, ITALIAN FIESTA,
THIN, SUARE PIZZA.

1121
00:31:56,515 --> 00:31:59,549
NEIGHBORHOOD, ITALIAN FIESTA,
THIN, SUARE PIZZA.
THAT'S AN INTERESTING, UNIQUE

1122
00:31:59,551 --> 00:32:00,517
THIN, SUARE PIZZA.
THAT'S AN INTERESTING, UNIQUE
FEATURE OF CHICAGO PIZZA.

1123
00:32:00,519 --> 00:32:04,788
THAT'S AN INTERESTING, UNIQUE
FEATURE OF CHICAGO PIZZA.
BUT I DO LIKE CERTAIN DEEP DISH.

1124
00:32:04,790 --> 00:32:06,189
FEATURE OF CHICAGO PIZZA.
BUT I DO LIKE CERTAIN DEEP DISH.
THERE'S A GINO'S EAST.

1125
00:32:06,191 --> 00:32:08,425
BUT I DO LIKE CERTAIN DEEP DISH.
THERE'S A GINO'S EAST.
IT'S NOT THE STUFFED PIZZA, BUT

1126
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:11,128
THERE'S A GINO'S EAST.
IT'S NOT THE STUFFED PIZZA, BUT
IT'S THE-- YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT,

1127
00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:12,529
IT'S NOT THE STUFFED PIZZA, BUT
IT'S THE-- YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT,
LIKE SORKT OF A CRACKER CRUST TO

1128
00:32:12,531 --> 00:32:14,398
IT'S THE-- YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT,
LIKE SORKT OF A CRACKER CRUST TO
IT WITH A THICK LAYER.

1129
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,533
LIKE SORKT OF A CRACKER CRUST TO
IT WITH A THICK LAYER.
>> Stephen: A BUTTER CRUST.

1130
00:32:16,535 --> 00:32:16,800
IT WITH A THICK LAYER.
>> Stephen: A BUTTER CRUST.
FANTASTIC.

1131
00:32:16,802 --> 00:32:18,368
>> Stephen: A BUTTER CRUST.
FANTASTIC.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT CHICAGO PIZZA

1132
00:32:18,370 --> 00:32:20,270
FANTASTIC.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT CHICAGO PIZZA
IS IT'S REALLY JUST A BABY POOL

1133
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:21,538
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT CHICAGO PIZZA
IS IT'S REALLY JUST A BABY POOL
FILLED WITH CHEESE AND SAUCE.

1134
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:23,206
IS IT'S REALLY JUST A BABY POOL
FILLED WITH CHEESE AND SAUCE.
>> THAT'S ALL YOU NEED IN LIFE.

1135
00:32:23,208 --> 00:32:25,642
FILLED WITH CHEESE AND SAUCE.
>> THAT'S ALL YOU NEED IN LIFE.
>> Stephen: SNORKEL, STRAIGHT

1136
00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:26,576
>> THAT'S ALL YOU NEED IN LIFE.
>> Stephen: SNORKEL, STRAIGHT
IN.

1137
00:32:26,578 --> 00:32:27,477
>> Stephen: SNORKEL, STRAIGHT
IN.
CHEESECAKE OR CHEESE STEAK.

1138
00:32:27,479 --> 00:32:28,779
IN.
CHEESECAKE OR CHEESE STEAK.
>> CHEESE STEAK.

1139
00:32:28,781 --> 00:32:32,115
CHEESECAKE OR CHEESE STEAK.
>> CHEESE STEAK.
>> Stephen: BLEU CHEESE OR

1140
00:32:32,117 --> 00:32:32,316
>> CHEESE STEAK.
>> Stephen: BLEU CHEESE OR
RANCH?

1141
00:32:32,318 --> 00:32:32,683
>> Stephen: BLEU CHEESE OR
RANCH?
>> RANCH.

1142
00:32:32,685 --> 00:32:34,384
RANCH?
>> RANCH.
>> SURF OR TURF?

1143
00:32:34,386 --> 00:32:34,618
>> RANCH.
>> SURF OR TURF?
>> TURF.

1144
00:32:34,620 --> 00:32:36,853
>> SURF OR TURF?
>> TURF.
I HAD TO REMEMBER WHICH ONE IS

1145
00:32:36,855 --> 00:32:38,088
>> TURF.
I HAD TO REMEMBER WHICH ONE IS
WHICH.

1146
00:32:38,090 --> 00:32:38,288
I HAD TO REMEMBER WHICH ONE IS
WHICH.
STEAK.

1147
00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:40,157
WHICH.
STEAK.
>> Stephen: FRUIT SALAD OR

1148
00:32:40,159 --> 00:32:40,791
STEAK.
>> Stephen: FRUIT SALAD OR
ACTUAL DESSERT?

1149
00:32:40,793 --> 00:32:42,326
>> Stephen: FRUIT SALAD OR
ACTUAL DESSERT?
>> ACTUAL DESSERT.

1150
00:32:42,328 --> 00:32:43,627
ACTUAL DESSERT?
>> ACTUAL DESSERT.
I AM ALWAYS KIND OF DISAPPOINTED

1151
00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:45,395
>> ACTUAL DESSERT.
I AM ALWAYS KIND OF DISAPPOINTED
WHEN THEY BRING OUT-- YOU

1152
00:32:45,397 --> 00:32:48,598
I AM ALWAYS KIND OF DISAPPOINTED
WHEN THEY BRING OUT-- YOU
PRETEND, "OH, I'M SO GLAD WE'RE

1153
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:49,266
WHEN THEY BRING OUT-- YOU
PRETEND, "OH, I'M SO GLAD WE'RE
HAVING BERRIES."

1154
00:32:49,268 --> 00:32:51,134
PRETEND, "OH, I'M SO GLAD WE'RE
HAVING BERRIES."
WHEN YOU'RE REALLY THINKING,

1155
00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:52,602
HAVING BERRIES."
WHEN YOU'RE REALLY THINKING,
"WHERE'S THE PIE?"

1156
00:32:52,604 --> 00:32:54,604
WHEN YOU'RE REALLY THINKING,
"WHERE'S THE PIE?"
>> Stephen: OKAY, THIS IS

1157
00:32:54,606 --> 00:32:56,673
"WHERE'S THE PIE?"
>> Stephen: OKAY, THIS IS
NOMENCLATURE-- STUFFING OR

1158
00:32:56,675 --> 00:32:56,940
>> Stephen: OKAY, THIS IS
NOMENCLATURE-- STUFFING OR
DRESSING?

1159
00:32:56,942 --> 00:32:58,976
NOMENCLATURE-- STUFFING OR
DRESSING?
>> OH, THAT'S TRUE.

1160
00:32:58,978 --> 00:32:59,576
DRESSING?
>> OH, THAT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: VERY IMPORTANT.

1161
00:32:59,578 --> 00:33:03,714
>> OH, THAT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: VERY IMPORTANT.
>> YOU KNOW, GROWING UP, IT WAS

1162
00:33:03,716 --> 00:33:03,981
>> Stephen: VERY IMPORTANT.
>> YOU KNOW, GROWING UP, IT WAS
DRESSING.

1163
00:33:03,983 --> 00:33:04,781
>> YOU KNOW, GROWING UP, IT WAS
DRESSING.
IT WAS DRESSING WHEN I WAS

1164
00:33:04,783 --> 00:33:07,284
DRESSING.
IT WAS DRESSING WHEN I WAS
GROWING UP.

1165
00:33:07,286 --> 00:33:08,785
IT WAS DRESSING WHEN I WAS
GROWING UP.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO STUFF

1166
00:33:08,787 --> 00:33:09,519
GROWING UP.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO STUFF
IT IN THE BIRD.

1167
00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:10,921
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO STUFF
IT IN THE BIRD.
DO YOU STUFF IT IN THE BIRD?

1168
00:33:10,923 --> 00:33:11,822
IT IN THE BIRD.
DO YOU STUFF IT IN THE BIRD?
>> YES, YES.

1169
00:33:11,824 --> 00:33:13,223
DO YOU STUFF IT IN THE BIRD?
>> YES, YES.
>> Stephen: THEN IT'S

1170
00:33:13,225 --> 00:33:13,490
>> YES, YES.
>> Stephen: THEN IT'S
STUFFING.

1171
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:14,925
>> Stephen: THEN IT'S
STUFFING.
>> YOU'VE GOT ME THINKING ABOUT

1172
00:33:14,927 --> 00:33:15,092
STUFFING.
>> YOU'VE GOT ME THINKING ABOUT
IT.

1173
00:33:15,094 --> 00:33:17,561
>> YOU'VE GOT ME THINKING ABOUT
IT.
BUT YOU ASK, WHAT DO WE CALL IT?

1174
00:33:17,563 --> 00:33:20,430
IT.
BUT YOU ASK, WHAT DO WE CALL IT?
IT'S DRESSING, I GREW UP,

1175
00:33:20,432 --> 00:33:22,599
BUT YOU ASK, WHAT DO WE CALL IT?
IT'S DRESSING, I GREW UP,
COMPLAIN TO MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER.

1176
00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:23,533
IT'S DRESSING, I GREW UP,
COMPLAIN TO MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER.
DISAGREE WITH HER, OKAY.

1177
00:33:23,535 --> 00:33:24,234
COMPLAIN TO MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER.
DISAGREE WITH HER, OKAY.
>> Stephen: OKAY.

1178
00:33:24,236 --> 00:33:26,136
DISAGREE WITH HER, OKAY.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
SMALL POPCORN OR LARGE POPCORN,

1179
00:33:26,138 --> 00:33:28,705
>> Stephen: OKAY.
SMALL POPCORN OR LARGE POPCORN,
KEEP IN MIND, LARGE IS ONLY

1180
00:33:28,707 --> 00:33:31,341
SMALL POPCORN OR LARGE POPCORN,
KEEP IN MIND, LARGE IS ONLY
$1.25 MORE AND YOU GET FREE

1181
00:33:31,343 --> 00:33:31,575
KEEP IN MIND, LARGE IS ONLY
$1.25 MORE AND YOU GET FREE
REFILLS.

1182
00:33:31,577 --> 00:33:32,442
$1.25 MORE AND YOU GET FREE
REFILLS.
>> LARGE POPCORN.

1183
00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:33,877
REFILLS.
>> LARGE POPCORN.
THE SMALL IS A SCAM.

1184
00:33:33,879 --> 00:33:34,544
>> LARGE POPCORN.
THE SMALL IS A SCAM.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU!

1185
00:33:34,546 --> 00:33:35,545
THE SMALL IS A SCAM.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU!
>> IT'S A SCAM.

1186
00:33:35,547 --> 00:33:36,847
>> Stephen: THANK YOU!
>> IT'S A SCAM.
>> Stephen: WAFFLES OR MOCHI

1187
00:33:36,849 --> 00:33:39,282
>> IT'S A SCAM.
>> Stephen: WAFFLES OR MOCHI
AS A FOOD?

1188
00:33:39,284 --> 00:33:42,886
>> Stephen: WAFFLES OR MOCHI
AS A FOOD?
>> OH... NO, I CAN'T GO THERE.

1189
00:33:42,888 --> 00:33:44,187
AS A FOOD?
>> OH... NO, I CAN'T GO THERE.
>> Stephen: WAFFLES OR MOCHI

1190
00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:44,788
>> OH... NO, I CAN'T GO THERE.
>> Stephen: WAFFLES OR MOCHI
AS A HOST?

1191
00:33:44,790 --> 00:33:46,456
>> Stephen: WAFFLES OR MOCHI
AS A HOST?
>> THAT'S LIKE CHOOSING BETWEEN

1192
00:33:46,458 --> 00:33:46,990
AS A HOST?
>> THAT'S LIKE CHOOSING BETWEEN
YOUR CHILDREN.

1193
00:33:46,992 --> 00:33:47,557
>> THAT'S LIKE CHOOSING BETWEEN
YOUR CHILDREN.
NOW IT'S PERSON.

1194
00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:49,026
YOUR CHILDREN.
NOW IT'S PERSON.
>> Stephen: I WENT TO A PARTY

1195
00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:50,060
NOW IT'S PERSON.
>> Stephen: I WENT TO A PARTY
AT THE WHITE HOUSE-- I'M GOING

1196
00:33:50,062 --> 00:33:51,461
>> Stephen: I WENT TO A PARTY
AT THE WHITE HOUSE-- I'M GOING
TO FACT CHECK YOU HERE EYE WENT

1197
00:33:51,463 --> 00:33:52,796
AT THE WHITE HOUSE-- I'M GOING
TO FACT CHECK YOU HERE EYE WENT
TO A PARTY AT THE WHITE HOUSE,

1198
00:33:52,798 --> 00:33:54,064
TO FACT CHECK YOU HERE EYE WENT
TO A PARTY AT THE WHITE HOUSE,
AND YOU SERVED WAFFLES.

1199
00:33:54,066 --> 00:33:55,098
TO A PARTY AT THE WHITE HOUSE,
AND YOU SERVED WAFFLES.
>> AND CHICKEN.

1200
00:33:55,100 --> 00:33:55,532
AND YOU SERVED WAFFLES.
>> AND CHICKEN.
>> Stephen:

1201
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:56,566
>> AND CHICKEN.
>> Stephen:
>> Stephen: CHICKEN, ALL

1202
00:33:56,568 --> 00:33:56,767
>> Stephen:
>> Stephen: CHICKEN, ALL
RIGHT.

1203
00:33:56,769 --> 00:33:58,268
>> Stephen: CHICKEN, ALL
RIGHT.
THERE WAS NO MOCHI AT THIS

1204
00:33:58,270 --> 00:33:58,468
RIGHT.
THERE WAS NO MOCHI AT THIS
PARTY?

1205
00:33:58,470 --> 00:34:00,404
THERE WAS NO MOCHI AT THIS
PARTY?
>> THAT'S BEFORE I KNEW MOCHI.

1206
00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:00,804
PARTY?
>> THAT'S BEFORE I KNEW MOCHI.
>> Stephen: OKAY.

1207
00:34:00,806 --> 00:34:03,340
>> THAT'S BEFORE I KNEW MOCHI.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I'VE BECOME CLOSE TO MOCHI,

1208
00:34:03,342 --> 00:34:05,409
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I'VE BECOME CLOSE TO MOCHI,
AND I FEEL DIFFERENTLY.

1209
00:34:05,411 --> 00:34:06,476
>> I'VE BECOME CLOSE TO MOCHI,
AND I FEEL DIFFERENTLY.
>> Stephen: WE'RE RAPIDLY

1210
00:34:06,478 --> 00:34:08,512
AND I FEEL DIFFERENTLY.
>> Stephen: WE'RE RAPIDLY
APPROACHING THE END OF THIS

1211
00:34:08,514 --> 00:34:08,779
>> Stephen: WE'RE RAPIDLY
APPROACHING THE END OF THIS
INTERVIEW.

1212
00:34:08,781 --> 00:34:09,780
APPROACHING THE END OF THIS
INTERVIEW.
HERE WE GO.

1213
00:34:09,782 --> 00:34:10,047
INTERVIEW.
HERE WE GO.
OKAY--

1214
00:34:10,049 --> 00:34:11,548
HERE WE GO.
OKAY--
>> I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND PEOPLE

1215
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:12,783
OKAY--
>> I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND PEOPLE
IN SO LONG!

1216
00:34:12,785 --> 00:34:14,418
>> I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND PEOPLE
IN SO LONG!
>> Stephen: I HAVEN'T, EITHER!

1217
00:34:14,420 --> 00:34:15,919
IN SO LONG!
>> Stephen: I HAVEN'T, EITHER!
LITERALLY, MY LIFE IS THAT GUY

1218
00:34:15,921 --> 00:34:16,787
>> Stephen: I HAVEN'T, EITHER!
LITERALLY, MY LIFE IS THAT GUY
AND MY STAGE MANAGER.

1219
00:34:16,789 --> 00:34:18,121
LITERALLY, MY LIFE IS THAT GUY
AND MY STAGE MANAGER.
>> I KNOW!

1220
00:34:18,123 --> 00:34:19,022
AND MY STAGE MANAGER.
>> I KNOW!
IT'S SO MUCH FUN!

1221
00:34:19,024 --> 00:34:20,791
>> I KNOW!
IT'S SO MUCH FUN!
DON'T LET IT END!

1222
00:34:20,793 --> 00:34:21,591
IT'S SO MUCH FUN!
DON'T LET IT END!
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>

1223
00:34:21,593 --> 00:34:24,261
DON'T LET IT END!
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
I JUST HAVE TO GO BACK TO MY

1224
00:34:24,263 --> 00:34:24,494
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
I JUST HAVE TO GO BACK TO MY
HUSBAND.

1225
00:34:24,496 --> 00:34:25,462
I JUST HAVE TO GO BACK TO MY
HUSBAND.
AND I'VE SEEN HIM.

1226
00:34:25,464 --> 00:34:26,696
HUSBAND.
AND I'VE SEEN HIM.
>> Stephen: I HEAR GOOD

1227
00:34:26,698 --> 00:34:28,498
AND I'VE SEEN HIM.
>> Stephen: I HEAR GOOD
THINGS, THOUGH, I HEARED GO

1228
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:28,732
>> Stephen: I HEAR GOOD
THINGS, THOUGH, I HEARED GO
THINGS.

1229
00:34:28,734 --> 00:34:30,233
THINGS, THOUGH, I HEARED GO
THINGS.
>> HE'S GOOD, BUT I'M HAVING SO

1230
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:30,500
THINGS.
>> HE'S GOOD, BUT I'M HAVING SO
MUCH FUN.

1231
00:34:30,502 --> 00:34:32,135
>> HE'S GOOD, BUT I'M HAVING SO
MUCH FUN.
>> Stephen: I THINK ANOTHER

1232
00:34:32,137 --> 00:34:33,103
MUCH FUN.
>> Stephen: I THINK ANOTHER
BREAK IS IN ORDER.

1233
00:34:33,105 --> 00:34:33,637
>> Stephen: I THINK ANOTHER
BREAK IS IN ORDER.
GO BREAK.

1234
00:34:33,639 --> 00:34:34,871
BREAK IS IN ORDER.
GO BREAK.
COME BACK, THOUGH.

1235
00:34:34,873 --> 00:34:35,572
GO BREAK.
COME BACK, THOUGH.
♪ ♪ ♪

1236
00:34:35,574 --> 00:34:36,807
COME BACK, THOUGH.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

1237
00:34:43,848 --> 00:34:50,987
♪ ♪ ♪

1238
00:34:59,363 --> 00:35:05,302
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: OH, HEY.
WELCOME BACK.

1239
00:35:05,304 --> 00:35:07,404
>> Stephen: OH, HEY.
WELCOME BACK.
I'M STILL SITTING HERE WITH

1240
00:35:07,406 --> 00:35:07,938
WELCOME BACK.
I'M STILL SITTING HERE WITH
MICHELLE OBAMA.

1241
00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:10,073
I'M STILL SITTING HERE WITH
MICHELLE OBAMA.
A FEW MONTHS AGO, WHEN YOUR

1242
00:35:10,075 --> 00:35:11,308
MICHELLE OBAMA.
A FEW MONTHS AGO, WHEN YOUR
HUSBAND WAS HERE, I CHALLENGED

1243
00:35:11,310 --> 00:35:14,144
A FEW MONTHS AGO, WHEN YOUR
HUSBAND WAS HERE, I CHALLENGED
HIM TO A FRIENDLY GAME OF WASTE

1244
00:35:14,146 --> 00:35:14,611
HUSBAND WAS HERE, I CHALLENGED
HIM TO A FRIENDLY GAME OF WASTE
PAPER BASKETBALL.

1245
00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:15,879
HIM TO A FRIENDLY GAME OF WASTE
PAPER BASKETBALL.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU--

1246
00:35:15,881 --> 00:35:17,314
PAPER BASKETBALL.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU--
>> I HEARD ABOUT THAT.

1247
00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:18,281
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU--
>> I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
>> Stephen: CAUGHT THAT.

1248
00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:20,617
>> I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
>> Stephen: CAUGHT THAT.
AND HOW DO I PUT THIS

1249
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:22,652
>> Stephen: CAUGHT THAT.
AND HOW DO I PUT THIS
DELICATELY-- I SMOKED HIM LIKE A

1250
00:35:22,654 --> 00:35:22,953
AND HOW DO I PUT THIS
DELICATELY-- I SMOKED HIM LIKE A
COUNTRY HAM.

1251
00:35:22,955 --> 00:35:23,887
DELICATELY-- I SMOKED HIM LIKE A
COUNTRY HAM.
>> OH, THAT'S SAD.

1252
00:35:23,889 --> 00:35:25,388
COUNTRY HAM.
>> OH, THAT'S SAD.
>> Stephen: AND THE FINAL

1253
00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:27,124
>> OH, THAT'S SAD.
>> Stephen: AND THE FINAL
SCORE-- AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE

1254
00:35:27,126 --> 00:35:29,726
>> Stephen: AND THE FINAL
SCORE-- AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE
I GET THIS RIGHT, UNATHLETIC

1255
00:35:29,728 --> 00:35:32,129
SCORE-- AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE
I GET THIS RIGHT, UNATHLETIC
DOUGHY TALK SHOW HOST EIGHT.

1256
00:35:32,131 --> 00:35:34,531
I GET THIS RIGHT, UNATHLETIC
DOUGHY TALK SHOW HOST EIGHT.
FORMER LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD

1257
00:35:34,533 --> 00:35:39,569
DOUGHY TALK SHOW HOST EIGHT.
FORMER LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD
WHO FAMOUSLY THREE POINTER, 0.

1258
00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:41,304
FORMER LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD
WHO FAMOUSLY THREE POINTER, 0.
THIS IS THE EXACT ROOM WE DID IT

1259
00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:41,471
WHO FAMOUSLY THREE POINTER, 0.
THIS IS THE EXACT ROOM WE DID IT
IN.

1260
00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:42,005
THIS IS THE EXACT ROOM WE DID IT
IN.
>> OKAY.

1261
00:35:42,007 --> 00:35:43,006
IN.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: AND I WAS

1262
00:35:43,008 --> 00:35:43,874
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: AND I WAS
WONDERING IF YOU WANT TO TAKE

1263
00:35:43,876 --> 00:35:45,876
>> Stephen: AND I WAS
WONDERING IF YOU WANT TO TAKE
MOMENT TO MAYBE, YOU KNOW,

1264
00:35:45,878 --> 00:35:47,310
WONDERING IF YOU WANT TO TAKE
MOMENT TO MAYBE, YOU KNOW,
DEFEND THE OBAMA BASKETBALL

1265
00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:47,511
MOMENT TO MAYBE, YOU KNOW,
DEFEND THE OBAMA BASKETBALL
HONOR.

1266
00:35:47,513 --> 00:35:50,247
DEFEND THE OBAMA BASKETBALL
HONOR.
>> WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?

1267
00:35:50,249 --> 00:35:51,314
HONOR.
>> WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
>> Stephen: OKAY.

1268
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:53,316
>> WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
>> Stephen: OKAY.
UM, LET'S MAKE IT INTERESTING.

1269
00:35:53,318 --> 00:35:54,317
>> Stephen: OKAY.
UM, LET'S MAKE IT INTERESTING.
>> OKAY.

1270
00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:55,619
UM, LET'S MAKE IT INTERESTING.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: PARTNERSHIP FOR A

1271
00:35:55,621 --> 00:35:58,522
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: PARTNERSHIP FOR A
HEALTHIER AMERICA, DO THEY TAKE

1272
00:35:58,524 --> 00:35:58,788
>> Stephen: PARTNERSHIP FOR A
HEALTHIER AMERICA, DO THEY TAKE
DONATIONS?

1273
00:35:58,790 --> 00:35:58,922
HEALTHIER AMERICA, DO THEY TAKE
DONATIONS?
>>

1274
00:35:58,924 --> 00:35:59,289
DONATIONS?
>>
>> UH-HUH.

1275
00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:01,458
>>
>> UH-HUH.
>> Stephen: "THE LATE SHOW

1276
00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:03,193
>> UH-HUH.
>> Stephen: "THE LATE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT"" WILL

1277
00:36:03,195 --> 00:36:05,262
>> Stephen: "THE LATE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT"" WILL
DONATE $1,000 TO PARTNERSHIP FOR

1278
00:36:05,264 --> 00:36:08,398
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT"" WILL
DONATE $1,000 TO PARTNERSHIP FOR
HEALTHY AMERICA FOR EVERY BASKET

1279
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,300
DONATE $1,000 TO PARTNERSHIP FOR
HEALTHY AMERICA FOR EVERY BASKET
EITHER ONE OF US MAKES.

1280
00:36:10,302 --> 00:36:11,201
HEALTHY AMERICA FOR EVERY BASKET
EITHER ONE OF US MAKES.
SO LET'S RUN UP THAT SCORE.

1281
00:36:11,203 --> 00:36:12,802
EITHER ONE OF US MAKES.
SO LET'S RUN UP THAT SCORE.
>> ALL RIGHT.

1282
00:36:12,804 --> 00:36:14,104
SO LET'S RUN UP THAT SCORE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND IF I WIN, YOU

1283
00:36:14,106 --> 00:36:18,408
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND IF I WIN, YOU
HAVE TO HAVE ME ON ONE OF YOUR

1284
00:36:18,410 --> 00:36:19,075
>> Stephen: AND IF I WIN, YOU
HAVE TO HAVE ME ON ONE OF YOUR
NETFLIX SHOWS.

1285
00:36:19,077 --> 00:36:19,576
HAVE TO HAVE ME ON ONE OF YOUR
NETFLIX SHOWS.
>> SOLID.

1286
00:36:19,578 --> 00:36:20,143
NETFLIX SHOWS.
>> SOLID.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE IN.

1287
00:36:20,145 --> 00:36:20,644
>> SOLID.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE IN.
>> I'M IN.

1288
00:36:20,646 --> 00:36:21,578
>> Stephen: YOU'RE IN.
>> I'M IN.
>> Stephen: YOU UNDERSTAND

1289
00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:23,313
>> I'M IN.
>> Stephen: YOU UNDERSTAND
THIS ARM IS A ROCKET, RIGHT.

1290
00:36:23,315 --> 00:36:27,684
>> Stephen: YOU UNDERSTAND
THIS ARM IS A ROCKET, RIGHT.
>> OBVIOUSLY, YOU BET MY HUSBAND

1291
00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:28,885
THIS ARM IS A ROCKET, RIGHT.
>> OBVIOUSLY, YOU BET MY HUSBAND
SO YOU MUST DO THIS A LOT.

1292
00:36:28,887 --> 00:36:30,287
>> OBVIOUSLY, YOU BET MY HUSBAND
SO YOU MUST DO THIS A LOT.
>> Stephen: HERE'S HOW IT'S

1293
00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:30,854
SO YOU MUST DO THIS A LOT.
>> Stephen: HERE'S HOW IT'S
GOING TO WORK.

1294
00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:32,889
>> Stephen: HERE'S HOW IT'S
GOING TO WORK.
THE BOX OVER HERE TO YOUR LEFT,

1295
00:36:32,891 --> 00:36:33,523
GOING TO WORK.
THE BOX OVER HERE TO YOUR LEFT,
OPEN THAT UP.

1296
00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:34,191
THE BOX OVER HERE TO YOUR LEFT,
OPEN THAT UP.
>> OH!

1297
00:36:34,193 --> 00:36:36,660
OPEN THAT UP.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: YOU SEE, WE HAVE

1298
00:36:36,662 --> 00:36:36,893
>> OH!
>> Stephen: YOU SEE, WE HAVE
THESE--

1299
00:36:36,895 --> 00:36:39,429
>> Stephen: YOU SEE, WE HAVE
THESE--
>> YOU'VE GOT A FUEL BALLS.

1300
00:36:39,431 --> 00:36:41,831
THESE--
>> YOU'VE GOT A FUEL BALLS.
>> Stephen: MAKE SURE THEY'RE

1301
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:42,265
>> YOU'VE GOT A FUEL BALLS.
>> Stephen: MAKE SURE THEY'RE
TIGHTLY BALLED?

1302
00:36:42,267 --> 00:36:43,200
>> Stephen: MAKE SURE THEY'RE
TIGHTLY BALLED?
>> IS THAT IMPORTANT.

1303
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:43,767
TIGHTLY BALLED?
>> IS THAT IMPORTANT.
>> Stephen: YOUR HUSBAND

1304
00:36:43,769 --> 00:36:46,503
>> IS THAT IMPORTANT.
>> Stephen: YOUR HUSBAND
ACCUSED ME OF GIVING HIM LOOSE

1305
00:36:46,505 --> 00:36:47,103
>> Stephen: YOUR HUSBAND
ACCUSED ME OF GIVING HIM LOOSE
PAPER BALLS.

1306
00:36:47,105 --> 00:36:49,339
ACCUSED ME OF GIVING HIM LOOSE
PAPER BALLS.
>> HE SAID YOU CHEAT GLD HE CAME

1307
00:36:49,341 --> 00:36:51,708
PAPER BALLS.
>> HE SAID YOU CHEAT GLD HE CAME
VERY CLOSE TO ACCUSING ME OF

1308
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:51,975
>> HE SAID YOU CHEAT GLD HE CAME
VERY CLOSE TO ACCUSING ME OF
CHEATING.

1309
00:36:51,977 --> 00:36:53,877
VERY CLOSE TO ACCUSING ME OF
CHEATING.
THE MAN HE WAS DESPERATE.

1310
00:36:53,879 --> 00:36:55,378
CHEATING.
THE MAN HE WAS DESPERATE.
HE WAS DESPERATE.

1311
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:57,080
THE MAN HE WAS DESPERATE.
HE WAS DESPERATE.
OKAY, $1,000 FOR EVERY BASHET

1312
00:36:57,082 --> 00:36:57,447
HE WAS DESPERATE.
OKAY, $1,000 FOR EVERY BASHET
THAT GOES IN.

1313
00:36:57,449 --> 00:36:58,748
OKAY, $1,000 FOR EVERY BASHET
THAT GOES IN.
LET'S PUT THE COUNTER UP.

1314
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,150
THAT GOES IN.
LET'S PUT THE COUNTER UP.
ALL RIGHT, YOU READY TO DO THIS?

1315
00:37:00,152 --> 00:37:00,417
LET'S PUT THE COUNTER UP.
ALL RIGHT, YOU READY TO DO THIS?
>> READY.

1316
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:01,284
ALL RIGHT, YOU READY TO DO THIS?
>> READY.
>> Stephen: YOU FEELING IT?

1317
00:37:01,286 --> 00:37:02,352
>> READY.
>> Stephen: YOU FEELING IT?
>> WE'LL SEE.

1318
00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:05,288
>> Stephen: YOU FEELING IT?
>> WE'LL SEE.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, AND GO.

1319
00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:08,825
>> WE'LL SEE.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, AND GO.
>> OH!

1320
00:37:08,827 --> 00:37:09,326
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, AND GO.
>> OH!
OH!

1321
00:37:09,328 --> 00:37:10,126
>> OH!
OH!
( BELL RINGS )

1322
00:37:10,128 --> 00:37:12,963
OH!
( BELL RINGS )
>> YAY, YAY, YAY FOR ME.

1323
00:37:12,965 --> 00:37:14,531
( BELL RINGS )
>> YAY, YAY, YAY FOR ME.
OH, THAT'S WAY OFF

1324
00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:17,300
>> YAY, YAY, YAY FOR ME.
OH, THAT'S WAY OFF
( BELL RINGS )

1325
00:37:17,302 --> 00:37:18,435
OH, THAT'S WAY OFF
( BELL RINGS )
( BELL RINGS )

1326
00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:19,869
( BELL RINGS )
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH, I GOT ONE!

1327
00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:22,339
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH, I GOT ONE!
I'M ON NOW

1328
00:37:22,341 --> 00:37:23,006
>> OH, I GOT ONE!
I'M ON NOW
( BELL RINGS )

1329
00:37:23,008 --> 00:37:25,742
I'M ON NOW
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH, YOU KNOCKED THAT ONE OUT.

1330
00:37:25,744 --> 00:37:26,509
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH, YOU KNOCKED THAT ONE OUT.
OH, DARN!

1331
00:37:26,511 --> 00:37:28,745
>> OH, YOU KNOCKED THAT ONE OUT.
OH, DARN!
( BELL RINGS )

1332
00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:29,312
OH, DARN!
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH!

1333
00:37:29,314 --> 00:37:31,348
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH!
IN AND OUT, IN AND OUT.

1334
00:37:31,350 --> 00:37:32,616
>> OH!
IN AND OUT, IN AND OUT.
>> Stephen: IS THAT YOUR LAST

1335
00:37:32,618 --> 00:37:32,782
IN AND OUT, IN AND OUT.
>> Stephen: IS THAT YOUR LAST
ONE?

1336
00:37:32,784 --> 00:37:35,318
>> Stephen: IS THAT YOUR LAST
ONE?
>> NO, I HAVE TWO MORE.

1337
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,953
ONE?
>> NO, I HAVE TWO MORE.
OH, DARN!

1338
00:37:36,955 --> 00:37:37,153
>> NO, I HAVE TWO MORE.
OH, DARN!
OKAY.

1339
00:37:37,155 --> 00:37:37,954
OH, DARN!
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE IT.

1340
00:37:37,956 --> 00:37:39,656
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE IT.
HOW MUCH, LET'S COUNT IT UP?

1341
00:37:39,658 --> 00:37:40,890
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE IT.
HOW MUCH, LET'S COUNT IT UP?
>> Stephen: I'LL TELL YOU

1342
00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:42,359
HOW MUCH, LET'S COUNT IT UP?
>> Stephen: I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT, HOWEVER MANY IT IS, IT'S

1343
00:37:42,361 --> 00:37:44,127
>> Stephen: I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT, HOWEVER MANY IT IS, IT'S
MORE THAN 0 IS WHAT IT IS.

1344
00:37:44,129 --> 00:37:45,462
WHAT, HOWEVER MANY IT IS, IT'S
MORE THAN 0 IS WHAT IT IS.
>> IT'S MORE THAN 0.

1345
00:37:45,464 --> 00:37:50,500
MORE THAN 0 IS WHAT IT IS.
>> IT'S MORE THAN 0.
LOOK AT ALL THAT MONEY FOR

1346
00:37:50,502 --> 00:37:50,700
>> IT'S MORE THAN 0.
LOOK AT ALL THAT MONEY FOR
P.H.A.

1347
00:37:50,702 --> 00:37:52,369
LOOK AT ALL THAT MONEY FOR
P.H.A.
IF YOU LOST, YOU LOSE.

1348
00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:53,937
P.H.A.
IF YOU LOST, YOU LOSE.
AND BY WINNING, YOU'RE IN

1349
00:37:53,939 --> 00:37:55,472
IF YOU LOST, YOU LOSE.
AND BY WINNING, YOU'RE IN
TROUBLE WITH HIM.

1350
00:37:55,474 --> 00:37:56,840
AND BY WINNING, YOU'RE IN
TROUBLE WITH HIM.
>> I DON'T CARE!

1351
00:37:56,842 --> 00:37:59,109
TROUBLE WITH HIM.
>> I DON'T CARE!
WE HAVE MONEY FOR P.H.A.!

1352
00:37:59,111 --> 00:37:59,976
>> I DON'T CARE!
WE HAVE MONEY FOR P.H.A.!
HE'LL GET OVER IT.

1353
00:37:59,978 --> 00:38:01,645
WE HAVE MONEY FOR P.H.A.!
HE'LL GET OVER IT.
>> Stephen: LET'S COUNT IT.

1354
00:38:01,647 --> 00:38:02,846
HE'LL GET OVER IT.
>> Stephen: LET'S COUNT IT.
>> COUNT THEM UP.

1355
00:38:02,848 --> 00:38:04,180
>> Stephen: LET'S COUNT IT.
>> COUNT THEM UP.
>> Stephen: ONE, TWO, THREE,

1356
00:38:04,182 --> 00:38:08,451
>> COUNT THEM UP.
>> Stephen: ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT

1357
00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:08,652
>> Stephen: ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT
NINE.

1358
00:38:08,654 --> 00:38:10,854
FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT
NINE.
>> $9,000!

1359
00:38:10,856 --> 00:38:13,523
NINE.
>> $9,000!
AND A GUEST APPEARANCE ON

1360
00:38:13,525 --> 00:38:13,923
>> $9,000!
AND A GUEST APPEARANCE ON
"WAFFLES + MOCHI."

1361
00:38:13,925 --> 00:38:15,825
AND A GUEST APPEARANCE ON
"WAFFLES + MOCHI."
THAT'S THE BEST NETFLIX SHOW.

1362
00:38:15,827 --> 00:38:17,294
"WAFFLES + MOCHI."
THAT'S THE BEST NETFLIX SHOW.
YOU HAVE TO-- I OWE YOU, RIGHT?

1363
00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:18,528
THAT'S THE BEST NETFLIX SHOW.
YOU HAVE TO-- I OWE YOU, RIGHT?
YOU HAVE THAT DOWN.

1364
00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,663
YOU HAVE TO-- I OWE YOU, RIGHT?
YOU HAVE THAT DOWN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S OFFICIAL.

1365
00:38:19,665 --> 00:38:20,864
YOU HAVE THAT DOWN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S OFFICIAL.
>> STEPHEN COLBERT.

1366
00:38:20,866 --> 00:38:23,300
>> Stephen: THAT'S OFFICIAL.
>> STEPHEN COLBERT.
HE CAN BE, LIKE, A STOCK BOY OR

1367
00:38:23,302 --> 00:38:25,435
>> STEPHEN COLBERT.
HE CAN BE, LIKE, A STOCK BOY OR
SOMETHING IN MY GROCERY STORE.

1368
00:38:25,437 --> 00:38:26,002
HE CAN BE, LIKE, A STOCK BOY OR
SOMETHING IN MY GROCERY STORE.
>> Stephen: I'M STREAMING.

1369
00:38:26,004 --> 00:38:31,007
SOMETHING IN MY GROCERY STORE.
>> Stephen: I'M STREAMING.
I'VE MADE IT TO NETFLIX!

1370
00:38:31,009 --> 00:38:31,374
>> Stephen: I'M STREAMING.
I'VE MADE IT TO NETFLIX!
<i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i>

1371
00:38:31,376 --> 00:38:35,312
I'VE MADE IT TO NETFLIX!
<i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i>
>> Stephen: WILL PARNOWNTLET

1372
00:38:35,314 --> 00:38:36,613
<i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i>
>> Stephen: WILL PARNOWNTLET
ME DO THAT?

1373
00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:37,113
>> Stephen: WILL PARNOWNTLET
ME DO THAT?
I'M TALK TO THEM.

1374
00:38:37,115 --> 00:38:38,915
ME DO THAT?
I'M TALK TO THEM.
>> I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, TOO.

1375
00:38:38,917 --> 00:38:39,949
I'M TALK TO THEM.
>> I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, TOO.
I'M LIKE CAN HE DO THIS?

1376
00:38:39,951 --> 00:38:41,318
>> I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, TOO.
I'M LIKE CAN HE DO THIS?
>> HE CAN DO IT.

1377
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:42,519
I'M LIKE CAN HE DO THIS?
>> HE CAN DO IT.
>> Stephen: AN HONOR.

1378
00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:45,355
>> HE CAN DO IT.
>> Stephen: AN HONOR.
>> THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.

1379
00:38:45,357 --> 00:38:46,556
>> Stephen: AN HONOR.
>> THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.
>> Stephen: MADAM FIRST

1380
00:38:46,558 --> 00:38:47,657
>> THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.
>> Stephen: MADAM FIRST
MICHELLE, THANK YOU FOR DOING

1381
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:47,857
>> Stephen: MADAM FIRST
MICHELLE, THANK YOU FOR DOING
THIS.

1382
00:38:47,859 --> 00:38:49,926
MICHELLE, THANK YOU FOR DOING
THIS.
>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN, IT'S A

1383
00:38:49,928 --> 00:38:50,493
THIS.
>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN, IT'S A
PLEASURE.

1384
00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:52,162
>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN, IT'S A
PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: FOR MORE INFORMATION

1385
00:38:52,164 --> 00:38:52,929
PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: FOR MORE INFORMATION
ABOUT THE "PASS THE LOVE"

1386
00:38:52,931 --> 00:38:53,430
>> Stephen: FOR MORE INFORMATION
ABOUT THE "PASS THE LOVE"
CAMPAIGN, YOU CAN VISIT

1387
00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:54,531
ABOUT THE "PASS THE LOVE"
CAMPAIGN, YOU CAN VISIT
wafflesandmochi.org.

1388
00:38:54,533 --> 00:38:56,299
CAMPAIGN, YOU CAN VISIT
wafflesandmochi.org.
THANK YOU, MICHELLE!

1389
00:38:56,301 --> 00:38:58,468
wafflesandmochi.org.
THANK YOU, MICHELLE!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

1390
00:39:05,910 --> 00:39:10,814
LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN

1391
00:39:10,816 --> 00:39:11,281
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.

1392
00:39:11,283 --> 00:39:15,118
WILL BE SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.

1393
00:39:16,954 --> 00:39:20,790
>> LET'S CALL EVIE.
>> Stephen: HOW ARE WE GOING
TO BREAK IT--

1394
00:39:20,792 --> 00:39:21,791
>> Stephen: HOW ARE WE GOING
TO BREAK IT--
>> LET'S CALL HER.

1395
00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:23,026
TO BREAK IT--
>> LET'S CALL HER.
>> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

1396
00:39:23,028 --> 00:39:24,294
>> LET'S CALL HER.
>> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

1397
00:39:24,296 --> 00:39:25,895
>> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU FOR CALLING.

1398
00:39:25,897 --> 00:39:27,130
>> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU FOR CALLING.
HAVE YOU GUYS HAD FUN?

1399
00:39:27,132 --> 00:39:27,864
THANK YOU FOR CALLING.
HAVE YOU GUYS HAD FUN?
>> YEAH.

1400
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,833
HAVE YOU GUYS HAD FUN?
>> YEAH.
I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME.

1401
00:39:29,835 --> 00:39:32,736
>> YEAH.
I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME.
>> Stephen: SHE GOT MORE

1402
00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:33,937
I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME.
>> Stephen: SHE GOT MORE
BASKETS THAN HER HUSBAND DID.

1403
00:39:33,939 --> 00:39:36,806
>> Stephen: SHE GOT MORE
BASKETS THAN HER HUSBAND DID.
>> $9,000.

1404
00:39:36,808 --> 00:39:37,207
BASKETS THAN HER HUSBAND DID.
>> $9,000.
>> WOW.

1405
00:39:37,209 --> 00:39:39,142
>> $9,000.
>> WOW.
>> Stephen: I CHARGED IT TO

1406
00:39:39,144 --> 00:39:39,909
>> WOW.
>> Stephen: I CHARGED IT TO
CBS.

1407
00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:42,812
>> Stephen: I CHARGED IT TO
CBS.
♪ ♪ ♪

1408
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,582
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>

1409
00:39:46,951 --> 00:40:07,437
Captioned by
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>
access.wgbh.org