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Captioning sponsored by CBS
>> REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE
TAYLOR GREENE SENT A LETTER TO
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00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:09,274
>> REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE
TAYLOR GREENE SENT A LETTER TO
PRESIDENT BIDEN DEMANDING AN
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00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:10,209
TAYLOR GREENE SENT A LETTER TO
PRESIDENT BIDEN DEMANDING AN
INVESTIGATION INTO WHAT SHE
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00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,377
PRESIDENT BIDEN DEMANDING AN
INVESTIGATION INTO WHAT SHE
BELIEVES IS ANTHONY FAUCI'S
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00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,111
INVESTIGATION INTO WHAT SHE
BELIEVES IS ANTHONY FAUCI'S
COVERUP OF THE ORIGINS OF
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00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,846
BELIEVES IS ANTHONY FAUCI'S
COVERUP OF THE ORIGINS OF
COVID 19.
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00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,715
COVERUP OF THE ORIGINS OF
COVID 19.
SHE ASKED FOR ANSWERS BY
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00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,117
COVID 19.
SHE ASKED FOR ANSWERS BY
JUNE 31, 2021.
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SHE ASKED FOR ANSWERS BY
JUNE 31, 2021.
ONLY ONE PROBLEM -- JUNE HAS 30
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JUNE 31, 2021.
ONLY ONE PROBLEM -- JUNE HAS 30
DAYS.
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>> Announcer: IT'S A "LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
TONIGHT, LIFE IN THE FAST LANE.
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00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:04,329
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
TONIGHT, LIFE IN THE FAST LANE.
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES CHRIS
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00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,599
TONIGHT, LIFE IN THE FAST LANE.
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES CHRIS
MATTHEWS AND MUSICAL GUEST
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00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:12,071
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES CHRIS
MATTHEWS AND MUSICAL GUEST
"CYNTHIA ERIVO, AND OUR
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MATTHEWS AND MUSICAL GUEST
"CYNTHIA ERIVO, AND OUR
UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE
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00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,308
"CYNTHIA ERIVO, AND OUR
UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE
PLUNKETT, FEATURING JON BATISTE
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00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:16,708
UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE
PLUNKETT, FEATURING JON BATISTE
AND "STAY HUMAN."
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PLUNKETT, FEATURING JON BATISTE
AND "STAY HUMAN."
AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED
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AND "STAY HUMAN."
AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED
SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING
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00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:24,116
AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED
SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING
IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN
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SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING
IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN
COLBERT!
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IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN
COLBERT!
>> Stephen: WELL, HEY, THERE.
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COLBERT!
>> Stephen: WELL, HEY, THERE.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
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>> Stephen: WELL, HEY, THERE.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
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WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
I'VE BEEN OFF FOR A WEEK, BUT
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I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
I'VE BEEN OFF FOR A WEEK, BUT
I'M BACK.
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I'VE BEEN OFF FOR A WEEK, BUT
I'M BACK.
AND SO IS A LITTLE LADY I CAL
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I'M BACK.
AND SO IS A LITTLE LADY I CAL
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
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AND SO IS A LITTLE LADY I CAL
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
BECAUSE PANDEMIC
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THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
BECAUSE PANDEMIC
RESTRICTIONS ARE LIFTING AND
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BECAUSE PANDEMIC
RESTRICTIONS ARE LIFTING AND
FOLKS ARE GETTING BACK TO
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RESTRICTIONS ARE LIFTING AND
FOLKS ARE GETTING BACK TO
EVERYTHING WE MISSED:
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FOLKS ARE GETTING BACK TO
EVERYTHING WE MISSED:
HUGGING, KISSING, SHARING A HOT
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EVERYTHING WE MISSED:
HUGGING, KISSING, SHARING A HOT
DOG WITH A STRANGER
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HUGGING, KISSING, SHARING A HOT
DOG WITH A STRANGER
LADY-AND-THE-TRAMP STYLE.
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DOG WITH A STRANGER
LADY-AND-THE-TRAMP STYLE.
COME ON!
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LADY-AND-THE-TRAMP STYLE.
COME ON!
HELP ME HERE, CHRIS!
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COME ON!
HELP ME HERE, CHRIS!
COME ON!
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HELP ME HERE, CHRIS!
COME ON!
( LAUGHTER )
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COME ON!
( LAUGHTER )
MORE CONEY ISLAND FOR ME.
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( LAUGHTER )
MORE CONEY ISLAND FOR ME.
OF COURSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT
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00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:05,357
MORE CONEY ISLAND FOR ME.
OF COURSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT
SIGN THAT THINGS ARE GETTING
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OF COURSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT
SIGN THAT THINGS ARE GETTING
BACK TO NORMAL HAPPENS ONE WEEK
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00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,526
SIGN THAT THINGS ARE GETTING
BACK TO NORMAL HAPPENS ONE WEEK
FROM TONIGHT, WHEN I RETURN TO
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00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,660
BACK TO NORMAL HAPPENS ONE WEEK
FROM TONIGHT, WHEN I RETURN TO
TE ED SULLIVAN THEATER FOR A
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FROM TONIGHT, WHEN I RETURN TO
TE ED SULLIVAN THEATER FOR A
SPECIAL SHOW WE'RE CALLING:
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TE ED SULLIVAN THEATER FOR A
SPECIAL SHOW WE'RE CALLING:
THE LATE SHOW VAX IN ACTION: AN
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SPECIAL SHOW WE'RE CALLING:
THE LATE SHOW VAX IN ACTION: AN
IMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION OF
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THE LATE SHOW VAX IN ACTION: AN
IMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION OF
THE STATE OF THE REUNION, CART:
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IMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION OF
THE STATE OF THE REUNION, CART:
WITH A LIVE BODY
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THE STATE OF THE REUNION, CART:
WITH A LIVE BODY
AUDI-AUDI-AUDIENCE!
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WITH A LIVE BODY
AUDI-AUDI-AUDIENCE!
( LAUGHTER )
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AUDI-AUDI-AUDIENCE!
( LAUGHTER )
YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THE HOT DOG TO
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( LAUGHTER )
YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THE HOT DOG TO
COME BACK.
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YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THE HOT DOG TO
COME BACK.
WHY DON'T I HAVE A HOT DOG PROP.
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COME BACK.
WHY DON'T I HAVE A HOT DOG PROP.
GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH OUT OF
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WHY DON'T I HAVE A HOT DOG PROP.
GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH OUT OF
THAT CONEY.
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GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH OUT OF
THAT CONEY.
( LAUGHTER )
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THAT CONEY.
( LAUGHTER )
AMERICA'S SLOW CRAWL TO
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( LAUGHTER )
AMERICA'S SLOW CRAWL TO
NORMALITY IS ALL THANKS TO THE
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AMERICA'S SLOW CRAWL TO
NORMALITY IS ALL THANKS TO THE
VACCINE ROLLOUT.
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NORMALITY IS ALL THANKS TO THE
VACCINE ROLLOUT.
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
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VACCINE ROLLOUT.
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT'S: "THE VAX-SCENE."
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I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT'S: "THE VAX-SCENE."
(SINGING TO "BEER BARREL POLKA")
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TONIGHT'S: "THE VAX-SCENE."
(SINGING TO "BEER BARREL POLKA")
COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW
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(SINGING TO "BEER BARREL POLKA")
COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW
THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA
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COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW
THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA
WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA
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THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA
WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA
SO YOU DON'T GET CORONA
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00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:04,716
WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA
SO YOU DON'T GET CORONA
COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW
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00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,920
SO YOU DON'T GET CORONA
COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW
THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA
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00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:08,687
COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW
THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA
WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA
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THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA
WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA
WE ARE THE POKE YA POLKAS
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WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA
WE ARE THE POKE YA POLKAS
♪♪♪
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WE ARE THE POKE YA POLKAS
♪♪♪
>> THANK YOU!
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♪♪♪
>> THANK YOU!
VERY MUCH.
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>> THANK YOU!
VERY MUCH.
GOOD NIGHT.
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VERY MUCH.
GOOD NIGHT.
THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT!
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GOOD NIGHT.
THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT!
♪♪♪
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THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT!
♪♪♪
>> Stephen: GRAPHICS GET PAID
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♪♪♪
>> Stephen: GRAPHICS GET PAID
BY THE MINUTE, RIGHT?
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>> Stephen: GRAPHICS GET PAID
BY THE MINUTE, RIGHT?
IS THAT WHY THEY'RE SO LONG?
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BY THE MINUTE, RIGHT?
IS THAT WHY THEY'RE SO LONG?
IMMUNIZATIONS HAVE BEEN SO
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IS THAT WHY THEY'RE SO LONG?
IMMUNIZATIONS HAVE BEEN SO
EFFECTIVE, THAT WE JUST GOT THIS
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IMMUNIZATIONS HAVE BEEN SO
EFFECTIVE, THAT WE JUST GOT THIS
NEWS:
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EFFECTIVE, THAT WE JUST GOT THIS
NEWS:
>> COVID CASES ARE NOW AT THE
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NEWS:
>> COVID CASES ARE NOW AT THE
LOWEST POINT IN THE UNITED
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>> COVID CASES ARE NOW AT THE
LOWEST POINT IN THE UNITED
STATES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF
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LOWEST POINT IN THE UNITED
STATES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF
THE PANDEMIC.
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00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,087
STATES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF
THE PANDEMIC.
>> STEPHEN: I'M NOT ACTUALLY
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THE PANDEMIC.
>> STEPHEN: I'M NOT ACTUALLY
SURPRISED.
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00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,690
>> STEPHEN: I'M NOT ACTUALLY
SURPRISED.
I'M JUST CELEBRATING THAT I CAN
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00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,325
SURPRISED.
I'M JUST CELEBRATING THAT I CAN
DO SPIT TAKES AGAIN.
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00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,660
I'M JUST CELEBRATING THAT I CAN
DO SPIT TAKES AGAIN.
ENJOY THE ANTIBODIES, MARK.
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DO SPIT TAKES AGAIN.
ENJOY THE ANTIBODIES, MARK.
OVER THE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND,
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ENJOY THE ANTIBODIES, MARK.
OVER THE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND,
SO MANY PEOPLE CAME OUT TO
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00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:58,136
OVER THE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND,
SO MANY PEOPLE CAME OUT TO
CELEBRATE THAT ONE CLUB MANAGER
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00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:02,541
SO MANY PEOPLE CAME OUT TO
CELEBRATE THAT ONE CLUB MANAGER
SAID, IT FELT LIKE THE END OF
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00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:03,809
CELEBRATE THAT ONE CLUB MANAGER
SAID, IT FELT LIKE THE END OF
PROHIBITION.
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00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:04,443
SAID, IT FELT LIKE THE END OF
PROHIBITION.
OF COURSE, BACK THEN IT WAS THE
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00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,043
PROHIBITION.
OF COURSE, BACK THEN IT WAS THE
END OF MAKING BATHTUB GIN, AND
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00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:05,677
OF COURSE, BACK THEN IT WAS THE
END OF MAKING BATHTUB GIN, AND
NOW IT'S THE END OF DRINKING GIN
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00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,044
END OF MAKING BATHTUB GIN, AND
NOW IT'S THE END OF DRINKING GIN
IN THE BATHTUB.
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NOW IT'S THE END OF DRINKING GIN
IN THE BATHTUB.
I'M GONNA MISS MY MR. BUBBLE
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00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:11,016
IN THE BATHTUB.
I'M GONNA MISS MY MR. BUBBLE
GIMLETS.
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I'M GONNA MISS MY MR. BUBBLE
GIMLETS.
I'M SERIOUS, THERE'S LITERALLY
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00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:13,785
GIMLETS.
I'M SERIOUS, THERE'S LITERALLY
SPITTLE ON THE LENS.
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I'M SERIOUS, THERE'S LITERALLY
SPITTLE ON THE LENS.
HERE YOU GO.
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00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,621
SPITTLE ON THE LENS.
HERE YOU GO.
BRING IT BACK.
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HERE YOU GO.
BRING IT BACK.
BRING IT BACK.
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BRING IT BACK.
BRING IT BACK.
THERE YOU GO.
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BRING IT BACK.
THERE YOU GO.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT GOING
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00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:23,262
THERE YOU GO.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT GOING
TO HAVE ON NEXT WEEK THIS TIME?
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AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT GOING
TO HAVE ON NEXT WEEK THIS TIME?
SLIPPERS.
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00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:24,363
TO HAVE ON NEXT WEEK THIS TIME?
SLIPPERS.
( LAUGHTER )
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SLIPPERS.
( LAUGHTER )
I COULDN'T FIND MY SHOES!
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00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,667
( LAUGHTER )
I COULDN'T FIND MY SHOES!
SO I SAID, ( BLEEP ) IT, I'LL
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00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,501
I COULDN'T FIND MY SHOES!
SO I SAID, ( BLEEP ) IT, I'LL
WEAR SLIPPERS.
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00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,469
SO I SAID, ( BLEEP ) IT, I'LL
WEAR SLIPPERS.
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
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00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:33,272
WEAR SLIPPERS.
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
I'M DOING IT IN A BROOM CLOSET.
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WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
I'M DOING IT IN A BROOM CLOSET.
NEXT WEEK, I PROMISE, THIS IS MY
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00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,143
I'M DOING IT IN A BROOM CLOSET.
NEXT WEEK, I PROMISE, THIS IS MY
PLEDGE TO AMERICA, I WILL NOT
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00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:41,446
NEXT WEEK, I PROMISE, THIS IS MY
PLEDGE TO AMERICA, I WILL NOT
WEAR A FIVE-YEAR-OLD PEAR OF
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00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,117
PLEDGE TO AMERICA, I WILL NOT
WEAR A FIVE-YEAR-OLD PEAR OF
UGGS NEXT MONDAY NIGHT.
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00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,184
WEAR A FIVE-YEAR-OLD PEAR OF
UGGS NEXT MONDAY NIGHT.
IT'S NOT JUST NIGHTCLUBS AND
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00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,286
UGGS NEXT MONDAY NIGHT.
IT'S NOT JUST NIGHTCLUBS AND
BARS RE-OPENING.
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00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:47,819
IT'S NOT JUST NIGHTCLUBS AND
BARS RE-OPENING.
SAM'S CLUB AND COSTCO HAVE
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00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:48,453
BARS RE-OPENING.
SAM'S CLUB AND COSTCO HAVE
ANNOUNCED THEY'RE BRINGING BACK
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00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,323
SAM'S CLUB AND COSTCO HAVE
ANNOUNCED THEY'RE BRINGING BACK
FREE SAMPLES.
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00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,691
ANNOUNCED THEY'RE BRINGING BACK
FREE SAMPLES.
FINALLY, AMERICANS CAN GO BACK
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00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,126
FREE SAMPLES.
FINALLY, AMERICANS CAN GO BACK
TO PLAYING OUR FAVORITE GROCERY
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00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:58,864
FINALLY, AMERICANS CAN GO BACK
TO PLAYING OUR FAVORITE GROCERY
GAME: IS THIS MEAT?
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00:04:58,866 --> 00:04:59,965
TO PLAYING OUR FAVORITE GROCERY
GAME: IS THIS MEAT?
THE ANSWER?
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00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:00,499
GAME: IS THIS MEAT?
THE ANSWER?
I DON'T CARE.
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00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,099
THE ANSWER?
I DON'T CARE.
IT'S ON A TOOTHPICK, AND IT'S
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00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,703
I DON'T CARE.
IT'S ON A TOOTHPICK, AND IT'S
FREE.
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00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:05,437
IT'S ON A TOOTHPICK, AND IT'S
FREE.
BUT SOME RE-OPENINGS ARE A
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00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:06,138
FREE.
BUT SOME RE-OPENINGS ARE A
LITTLE CHOPPIER, LIKE IN THE
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00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,906
BUT SOME RE-OPENINGS ARE A
LITTLE CHOPPIER, LIKE IN THE
CRUISE INDUSTRY.
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00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:08,674
LITTLE CHOPPIER, LIKE IN THE
CRUISE INDUSTRY.
BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF COVID,
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00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:12,144
CRUISE INDUSTRY.
BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF COVID,
CRUISES BECAME FLOATING PRISONS
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00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,879
BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF COVID,
CRUISES BECAME FLOATING PRISONS
OF MEDICAL-GRADE DESPAIR.
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00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:14,379
CRUISES BECAME FLOATING PRISONS
OF MEDICAL-GRADE DESPAIR.
BUT ROYAL CARIBBEAN HAS
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00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,180
OF MEDICAL-GRADE DESPAIR.
BUT ROYAL CARIBBEAN HAS
ANNOUNCED A US COMEBACK THIS
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00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,715
BUT ROYAL CARIBBEAN HAS
ANNOUNCED A US COMEBACK THIS
SUMMER.
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00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,150
ANNOUNCED A US COMEBACK THIS
SUMMER.
THERE'S ONLY ONE CATCH:
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00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:24,156
SUMMER.
THERE'S ONLY ONE CATCH:
VACCINATIONS ARE OPTIONAL.
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00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,357
THERE'S ONLY ONE CATCH:
VACCINATIONS ARE OPTIONAL.
WHAT THE WHAT?
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00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:25,824
VACCINATIONS ARE OPTIONAL.
WHAT THE WHAT?
YOU CAN'T TRUST CRUISE
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00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:26,458
WHAT THE WHAT?
YOU CAN'T TRUST CRUISE
PASSENGERS TO MAKE SMART HEALTH
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00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,025
YOU CAN'T TRUST CRUISE
PASSENGERS TO MAKE SMART HEALTH
DECISIONS.
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00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:27,592
PASSENGERS TO MAKE SMART HEALTH
DECISIONS.
THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT IN
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00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,226
DECISIONS.
THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT IN
LINE TO SCOOP UP MACARONI SALAD
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00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:28,794
THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT IN
LINE TO SCOOP UP MACARONI SALAD
FROM A BIN A TODDLER LOST A
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00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:35,400
LINE TO SCOOP UP MACARONI SALAD
FROM A BIN A TODDLER LOST A
FLIP-FLOP IN.
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00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,069
FROM A BIN A TODDLER LOST A
FLIP-FLOP IN.
THE REASONS -- THERE ARE A LOT
156
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:38,603
FLIP-FLOP IN.
THE REASONS -- THERE ARE A LOT
OF REASONS, THERE MANY REASONS
157
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,673
THE REASONS -- THERE ARE A LOT
OF REASONS, THERE MANY REASONS
THE VACCINES ARE
158
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,307
OF REASONS, THERE MANY REASONS
THE VACCINES ARE
OPTIONAL IS THAT A LOT OF THESE
159
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:42,974
THE VACCINES ARE
OPTIONAL IS THAT A LOT OF THESE
CRUISES DEPART FROM FLORIDA,
160
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:43,608
OPTIONAL IS THAT A LOT OF THESE
CRUISES DEPART FROM FLORIDA,
WHERE THEY JUST PASSED A LAW
161
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,209
CRUISES DEPART FROM FLORIDA,
WHERE THEY JUST PASSED A LAW
THAT NOT ONLY PROHIBITS
162
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:44,743
WHERE THEY JUST PASSED A LAW
THAT NOT ONLY PROHIBITS
BUSINESSES FROM REQUIRING
163
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,079
THAT NOT ONLY PROHIBITS
BUSINESSES FROM REQUIRING
VACCINATIONS, BUT
164
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:48,146
BUSINESSES FROM REQUIRING
VACCINATIONS, BUT
WILL FINE COMPANIES $5,000 EACH
165
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:48,747
VACCINATIONS, BUT
WILL FINE COMPANIES $5,000 EACH
TIME THEY REQUIRE VACCINATION
166
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,016
WILL FINE COMPANIES $5,000 EACH
TIME THEY REQUIRE VACCINATION
PROOF FROM A PATRON.
167
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,684
TIME THEY REQUIRE VACCINATION
PROOF FROM A PATRON.
THAT'S A TOUGH BEAT FOR FLORIDA
168
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,188
PROOF FROM A PATRON.
THAT'S A TOUGH BEAT FOR FLORIDA
COPS.
169
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:56,788
THAT'S A TOUGH BEAT FOR FLORIDA
COPS.
ATTENTION ALL UNITS, WE HAVE A
170
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:57,389
COPS.
ATTENTION ALL UNITS, WE HAVE A
REPORT THAT COLDSTONE CREAMERY
171
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:58,256
ATTENTION ALL UNITS, WE HAVE A
REPORT THAT COLDSTONE CREAMERY
IS TRYING TO KEEP CUSTOMERS
172
00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:58,990
REPORT THAT COLDSTONE CREAMERY
IS TRYING TO KEEP CUSTOMERS
ALIVE.
173
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,158
IS TRYING TO KEEP CUSTOMERS
ALIVE.
IMMEDIATELY REDIRECT ALL
174
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:00,726
ALIVE.
IMMEDIATELY REDIRECT ALL
OFFICERS AWAY FROM THE
175
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,794
IMMEDIATELY REDIRECT ALL
OFFICERS AWAY FROM THE
METH-FUELED ALLIGATOR KNIFE
176
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,696
OFFICERS AWAY FROM THE
METH-FUELED ALLIGATOR KNIFE
FIGHT.
177
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:08,700
METH-FUELED ALLIGATOR KNIFE
FIGHT.
GET ME A BROWNIE MIXIN.
178
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,701
FIGHT.
GET ME A BROWNIE MIXIN.
THE FIRST CRUISE IS SCHEDULED
179
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,069
GET ME A BROWNIE MIXIN.
THE FIRST CRUISE IS SCHEDULED
FOR JULY 2, AND TO ENSURE
180
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,137
THE FIRST CRUISE IS SCHEDULED
FOR JULY 2, AND TO ENSURE
SAFETY, ROYAL CARIBBEAN IS
181
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,407
FOR JULY 2, AND TO ENSURE
SAFETY, ROYAL CARIBBEAN IS
CONDUCTING SIMULATION CRUISES.
182
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:16,708
SAFETY, ROYAL CARIBBEAN IS
CONDUCTING SIMULATION CRUISES.
WHICH I ASSUME MEANS TESTING THE
183
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,176
CONDUCTING SIMULATION CRUISES.
WHICH I ASSUME MEANS TESTING THE
ENDURANCE OF PASSENGERS WITH
184
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,712
WHICH I ASSUME MEANS TESTING THE
ENDURANCE OF PASSENGERS WITH
A SHRIMP TEST DUMMY.
185
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:24,149
ENDURANCE OF PASSENGERS WITH
A SHRIMP TEST DUMMY.
SPEAKING OF THINGS OPENING UP,
186
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,218
A SHRIMP TEST DUMMY.
SPEAKING OF THINGS OPENING UP,
THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S MOUTH.
187
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,586
SPEAKING OF THINGS OPENING UP,
THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S MOUTH.
ON SATURDAY NIGHT,
188
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:28,253
THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S MOUTH.
ON SATURDAY NIGHT,
"FATTY KRUGER" GAVE A SPEECH TO
189
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:28,854
ON SATURDAY NIGHT,
"FATTY KRUGER" GAVE A SPEECH TO
THE NORTH CAROLINA REPUBLICAN
190
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,155
"FATTY KRUGER" GAVE A SPEECH TO
THE NORTH CAROLINA REPUBLICAN
PARTY, WHERE HE SAID A BUNCH OF
191
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,724
THE NORTH CAROLINA REPUBLICAN
PARTY, WHERE HE SAID A BUNCH OF
STUFF BUT NOBODY PAID ATTENTION
192
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,161
PARTY, WHERE HE SAID A BUNCH OF
STUFF BUT NOBODY PAID ATTENTION
BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE HE WORE
193
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,230
STUFF BUT NOBODY PAID ATTENTION
BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE HE WORE
PANTS BACKWARDS.
194
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,331
BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE HE WORE
PANTS BACKWARDS.
LET'S TAKE A PEEK: HERE HE IS,
195
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,165
PANTS BACKWARDS.
LET'S TAKE A PEEK: HERE HE IS,
LEAVING THE PODIUM, AND LOOKING
196
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:40,699
LET'S TAKE A PEEK: HERE HE IS,
LEAVING THE PODIUM, AND LOOKING
FOR THE ZIPPER...
197
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,769
LEAVING THE PODIUM, AND LOOKING
FOR THE ZIPPER...
AND... NOTHING.
198
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:44,669
FOR THE ZIPPER...
AND... NOTHING.
EITHER HE SHARES A TAILOR WITH A
199
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,305
AND... NOTHING.
EITHER HE SHARES A TAILOR WITH A
KEN DOLL, OR HE SPENDS SO MUCH
200
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,173
EITHER HE SHARES A TAILOR WITH A
KEN DOLL, OR HE SPENDS SO MUCH
TIME YANKING STUFF OUT OF HIS
201
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:48,774
KEN DOLL, OR HE SPENDS SO MUCH
TIME YANKING STUFF OUT OF HIS
KEISTER, IT JUST HELPS TO HAVE
202
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:52,277
TIME YANKING STUFF OUT OF HIS
KEISTER, IT JUST HELPS TO HAVE
THE ZIPPER BACK THERE.
203
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:52,744
KEISTER, IT JUST HELPS TO HAVE
THE ZIPPER BACK THERE.
BUT IT RAISED A LOT OF
204
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,146
THE ZIPPER BACK THERE.
BUT IT RAISED A LOT OF
QUESTIONS, LIKE: HOW DID HE ZIP
205
00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:56,715
BUT IT RAISED A LOT OF
QUESTIONS, LIKE: HOW DID HE ZIP
THE PANTS?
206
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,016
QUESTIONS, LIKE: HOW DID HE ZIP
THE PANTS?
WAS HIS BELT ALSO ON BACKWARDS?
207
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:58,617
THE PANTS?
WAS HIS BELT ALSO ON BACKWARDS?
AND HOW LUCKY ARE WE THAT THIS
208
00:06:58,619 --> 00:06:59,217
WAS HIS BELT ALSO ON BACKWARDS?
AND HOW LUCKY ARE WE THAT THIS
MAN NO LONGER HAS THE NUCLEAR
209
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,119
AND HOW LUCKY ARE WE THAT THIS
MAN NO LONGER HAS THE NUCLEAR
CODES?
210
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,821
MAN NO LONGER HAS THE NUCLEAR
CODES?
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ENJOYED
211
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,189
CODES?
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ENJOYED
THE IMAGE.
212
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:04,823
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ENJOYED
THE IMAGE.
ON TWITTER, THE FORMER PRESIDENT
213
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:08,560
THE IMAGE.
ON TWITTER, THE FORMER PRESIDENT
QUICKLY DREW COMPARISONS TO 90'S
214
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,194
ON TWITTER, THE FORMER PRESIDENT
QUICKLY DREW COMPARISONS TO 90'S
CHILD HIP-HOP DUO FAMOUS FOR
215
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:09,961
QUICKLY DREW COMPARISONS TO 90'S
CHILD HIP-HOP DUO FAMOUS FOR
WEARING THEIR PANTS BACKWARDS,
216
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,164
CHILD HIP-HOP DUO FAMOUS FOR
WEARING THEIR PANTS BACKWARDS,
KRISS KROSS.
217
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,765
WEARING THEIR PANTS BACKWARDS,
KRISS KROSS.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
218
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,399
KRISS KROSS.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
THEIR INITIALS ARE K-K, WHICH IS
219
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,701
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
THEIR INITIALS ARE K-K, WHICH IS
ONE LESS THAN THE EX PRESIDENT
220
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,170
THEIR INITIALS ARE K-K, WHICH IS
ONE LESS THAN THE EX PRESIDENT
PREFERS.
221
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,639
ONE LESS THAN THE EX PRESIDENT
PREFERS.
BUT THE BACKWARD PANTS PARTY
222
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,641
PREFERS.
BUT THE BACKWARD PANTS PARTY
ABRUPTLY ENDED WHEN THE
223
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,142
BUT THE BACKWARD PANTS PARTY
ABRUPTLY ENDED WHEN THE
FACT-SHACKLERS OVER AT
224
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,011
ABRUPTLY ENDED WHEN THE
FACT-SHACKLERS OVER AT
SNOPES.COM CLARIFIED, NO, THE
225
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:28,380
FACT-SHACKLERS OVER AT
SNOPES.COM CLARIFIED, NO, THE
FORMER PRESIDENT DID NOT WEAR
226
00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:28,814
SNOPES.COM CLARIFIED, NO, THE
FORMER PRESIDENT DID NOT WEAR
HIS PANTS BACKWARDS.
227
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,148
FORMER PRESIDENT DID NOT WEAR
HIS PANTS BACKWARDS.
OH, THEN I GUESS WE WON'T HAVE A
228
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,050
HIS PANTS BACKWARDS.
OH, THEN I GUESS WE WON'T HAVE A
THIRD IMPEACHMENT TRIAL NOW.
229
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:32,717
OH, THEN I GUESS WE WON'T HAVE A
THIRD IMPEACHMENT TRIAL NOW.
IT'S A SHAME BECAUSE THEY'VE
230
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:36,154
THIRD IMPEACHMENT TRIAL NOW.
IT'S A SHAME BECAUSE THEY'VE
ALREADY DRAFTED THE ARTICLES OF
231
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:36,688
IT'S A SHAME BECAUSE THEY'VE
ALREADY DRAFTED THE ARTICLES OF
IM-PANTS-MENT.
232
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,023
ALREADY DRAFTED THE ARTICLES OF
IM-PANTS-MENT.
THE FACT CHECKER EXPLAINED THAT
233
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,025
IM-PANTS-MENT.
THE FACT CHECKER EXPLAINED THAT
SNOPES LOOKED THROUGH
234
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:40,725
THE FACT CHECKER EXPLAINED THAT
SNOPES LOOKED THROUGH
PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN AT THE EVENT
235
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:43,361
SNOPES LOOKED THROUGH
PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN AT THE EVENT
AND PUBLISHED BY THE VISUAL
236
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,329
PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN AT THE EVENT
AND PUBLISHED BY THE VISUAL
MEDIA COMPANY GETTY IMAGES THAT
237
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:44,830
AND PUBLISHED BY THE VISUAL
MEDIA COMPANY GETTY IMAGES THAT
CLEARLY SHOW THE FORMER
238
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:48,166
MEDIA COMPANY GETTY IMAGES THAT
CLEARLY SHOW THE FORMER
PRESIDENT ON STAGE WEARING PANTS
239
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,835
CLEARLY SHOW THE FORMER
PRESIDENT ON STAGE WEARING PANTS
WITH A ZIPPER IN THE FRONT.
240
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,236
PRESIDENT ON STAGE WEARING PANTS
WITH A ZIPPER IN THE FRONT.
ADDING, HOW IS THIS MY JOB?
241
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:51,670
WITH A ZIPPER IN THE FRONT.
ADDING, HOW IS THIS MY JOB?
MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT.
242
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:52,671
ADDING, HOW IS THIS MY JOB?
MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT.
I SHOULD HAVE WORKED FOR DAD AT
243
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:56,708
MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT.
I SHOULD HAVE WORKED FOR DAD AT
THE LUMBER YARD.
244
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,410
I SHOULD HAVE WORKED FOR DAD AT
THE LUMBER YARD.
APPARENTLY, THE ORIGINAL VIDEO
245
00:07:58,412 --> 00:07:59,177
THE LUMBER YARD.
APPARENTLY, THE ORIGINAL VIDEO
IS LOW RES, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT
246
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,145
APPARENTLY, THE ORIGINAL VIDEO
IS LOW RES, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT
THE HI RES IMAGE, IT'S CLEAR
247
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:03,448
IS LOW RES, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT
THE HI RES IMAGE, IT'S CLEAR
HE'S GOT A ZIPPER.
248
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,082
THE HI RES IMAGE, IT'S CLEAR
HE'S GOT A ZIPPER.
NORMALLY, WHEN YOU PAY THAT MUCH
249
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,151
HE'S GOT A ZIPPER.
NORMALLY, WHEN YOU PAY THAT MUCH
ATTENTION TO HIS CROTCH, YOU GET
250
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,353
NORMALLY, WHEN YOU PAY THAT MUCH
ATTENTION TO HIS CROTCH, YOU GET
$130,000.
251
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:08,987
ATTENTION TO HIS CROTCH, YOU GET
$130,000.
BUT THIS IS ALARMING, BECAUSE IT
252
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,723
$130,000.
BUT THIS IS ALARMING, BECAUSE IT
CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING:
253
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:12,357
BUT THIS IS ALARMING, BECAUSE IT
CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING:
SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET ISN'T
254
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:19,764
CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING:
SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET ISN'T
TRUE!
255
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:23,034
SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET ISN'T
TRUE!
YOU KNOW FOLKS, MOVING ON,
256
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,102
TRUE!
YOU KNOW FOLKS, MOVING ON,
AMERICA'S BILLIONAIRES ARE LIKE
257
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:24,703
YOU KNOW FOLKS, MOVING ON,
AMERICA'S BILLIONAIRES ARE LIKE
UNICORNS: RARELY SEEN, MOSTLY
258
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:25,270
AMERICA'S BILLIONAIRES ARE LIKE
UNICORNS: RARELY SEEN, MOSTLY
WHITE, HORNY, AND DON'T PAY
259
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,707
UNICORNS: RARELY SEEN, MOSTLY
WHITE, HORNY, AND DON'T PAY
TAXES.
260
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:32,010
WHITE, HORNY, AND DON'T PAY
TAXES.
BUT THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND:
261
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:32,711
TAXES.
BUT THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND:
YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL
262
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,012
BUT THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND:
YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL
MULTIBILLIONAIRE PUTTERS AROUND
263
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,147
YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL
MULTIBILLIONAIRE PUTTERS AROUND
IN THEIR PERSONAL SUBMARINE LIKE
264
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:36,748
MULTIBILLIONAIRE PUTTERS AROUND
IN THEIR PERSONAL SUBMARINE LIKE
SOME KIND OF SEA PEASANT, AND
265
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:40,085
IN THEIR PERSONAL SUBMARINE LIKE
SOME KIND OF SEA PEASANT, AND
THE TRUE HYPER-ELITES HAVE THEIR
266
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:40,719
SOME KIND OF SEA PEASANT, AND
THE TRUE HYPER-ELITES HAVE THEIR
OWN SPACE PROGRAMS.
267
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,188
THE TRUE HYPER-ELITES HAVE THEIR
OWN SPACE PROGRAMS.
I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST
268
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,891
OWN SPACE PROGRAMS.
I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST
IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF --
269
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,159
I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST
IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF --
(ECHOING)
270
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:52,030
IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF --
(ECHOING)
SPAAACE NEEEEWWS!
271
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,165
(ECHOING)
SPAAACE NEEEEWWS!
BILLIONAIRES IN SPACE EDITION!
272
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,267
SPAAACE NEEEEWWS!
BILLIONAIRES IN SPACE EDITION!
FIRST UP, AMAZON FOUNDER AND
273
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:55,967
BILLIONAIRES IN SPACE EDITION!
FIRST UP, AMAZON FOUNDER AND
HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE TEACHER
274
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:56,701
FIRST UP, AMAZON FOUNDER AND
HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE TEACHER
HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS, JEFF
275
00:08:56,703 --> 00:09:00,105
HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE TEACHER
HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS, JEFF
BEZOS.
276
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:04,709
HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS, JEFF
BEZOS.
TODAY, WE FOUND OUT THAT BEZOS
277
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,144
BEZOS.
TODAY, WE FOUND OUT THAT BEZOS
IS GOING TO SPACE.
278
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,046
TODAY, WE FOUND OUT THAT BEZOS
IS GOING TO SPACE.
THAT IS FANTASTIC!
279
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,449
IS GOING TO SPACE.
THAT IS FANTASTIC!
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE
280
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:11,650
THAT IS FANTASTIC!
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE
GIANT
281
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,150
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE
GIANT
LEAP FOR-- WHAT'S THAT?
282
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,753
GIANT
LEAP FOR-- WHAT'S THAT?
HE'S COMING BACK?
283
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,054
LEAP FOR-- WHAT'S THAT?
HE'S COMING BACK?
NEVER MIND.
284
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:16,688
HE'S COMING BACK?
NEVER MIND.
BEZOS IS GOING TO BE RIDING
285
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,156
NEVER MIND.
BEZOS IS GOING TO BE RIDING
ON THE FIRST CREWED FLIGHT OF
286
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,291
BEZOS IS GOING TO BE RIDING
ON THE FIRST CREWED FLIGHT OF
THE NEW SHEPARD, THE ROCKET SHIP
287
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,692
ON THE FIRST CREWED FLIGHT OF
THE NEW SHEPARD, THE ROCKET SHIP
MADE BY HIS SPACE COMPANY, BLUE
288
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:23,495
THE NEW SHEPARD, THE ROCKET SHIP
MADE BY HIS SPACE COMPANY, BLUE
ORIGIN.
289
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:24,162
MADE BY HIS SPACE COMPANY, BLUE
ORIGIN.
AS PREPARATION FOR SPACEFLIGHT,
290
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,664
ORIGIN.
AS PREPARATION FOR SPACEFLIGHT,
BEZOS HAS ASKED HIS WAREHOUSE
291
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,700
AS PREPARATION FOR SPACEFLIGHT,
BEZOS HAS ASKED HIS WAREHOUSE
WORKERS TO SHOW HIM HOW TO PEE
292
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,035
BEZOS HAS ASKED HIS WAREHOUSE
WORKERS TO SHOW HIM HOW TO PEE
DISCREETLY INTO A TUBE.
293
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:30,635
WORKERS TO SHOW HIM HOW TO PEE
DISCREETLY INTO A TUBE.
BEZOS IS GOING TO GO UP THERE
294
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,704
DISCREETLY INTO A TUBE.
BEZOS IS GOING TO GO UP THERE
WITH HIS BROTHER, WHICH IS NICE,
295
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,873
BEZOS IS GOING TO GO UP THERE
WITH HIS BROTHER, WHICH IS NICE,
BUT THE BEZOS BRO SPACE
296
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,141
WITH HIS BROTHER, WHICH IS NICE,
BUT THE BEZOS BRO SPACE
ADVENTURE WILL BE SHORT BECAUSE,
297
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:36,775
BUT THE BEZOS BRO SPACE
ADVENTURE WILL BE SHORT BECAUSE,
THE ASTRONAUTS WILL, EXPERIENCE
298
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:40,712
ADVENTURE WILL BE SHORT BECAUSE,
THE ASTRONAUTS WILL, EXPERIENCE
WEIGHTLESSNESS FOR NEARLY THREE
299
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,147
THE ASTRONAUTS WILL, EXPERIENCE
WEIGHTLESSNESS FOR NEARLY THREE
MINUTES.
300
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,049
WEIGHTLESSNESS FOR NEARLY THREE
MINUTES.
OR AS AMAZON WAREHOUSE WORKERS
301
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:44,516
MINUTES.
OR AS AMAZON WAREHOUSE WORKERS
CALL IT: LUNCH.
302
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:45,016
OR AS AMAZON WAREHOUSE WORKERS
CALL IT: LUNCH.
OF COURSE, BEZOS'S CHIEF
303
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:52,724
CALL IT: LUNCH.
OF COURSE, BEZOS'S CHIEF
BILLIONAIRE RIVAL IN SPACE
304
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,659
OF COURSE, BEZOS'S CHIEF
BILLIONAIRE RIVAL IN SPACE
EXPLORATION IS
305
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:54,859
BILLIONAIRE RIVAL IN SPACE
EXPLORATION IS
SpaceX
306
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:55,760
EXPLORATION IS
SpaceX
FOUNDER AND COMEDIC VOICE OF A
307
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,227
SpaceX
FOUNDER AND COMEDIC VOICE OF A
GENERATION, ELON MUSK.
308
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:56,828
FOUNDER AND COMEDIC VOICE OF A
GENERATION, ELON MUSK.
THIS TRIP MEANS THAT BEZOS IS
309
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,698
GENERATION, ELON MUSK.
THIS TRIP MEANS THAT BEZOS IS
GETTING TO SPACE BEFORE MUSK.
310
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,332
THIS TRIP MEANS THAT BEZOS IS
GETTING TO SPACE BEFORE MUSK.
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MUSK'S SPACE
311
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:00,966
GETTING TO SPACE BEFORE MUSK.
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MUSK'S SPACE
X HAD SOME SWEET NASA CONTRACTS,
312
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,867
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MUSK'S SPACE
X HAD SOME SWEET NASA CONTRACTS,
BUT JUST LAST MONTH FOLLOWING
313
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,703
X HAD SOME SWEET NASA CONTRACTS,
BUT JUST LAST MONTH FOLLOWING
PROTESTS FROM JEFF BEZOS' BLUE
314
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:05,870
BUT JUST LAST MONTH FOLLOWING
PROTESTS FROM JEFF BEZOS' BLUE
ORIGIN, NASA AND SPACEX'S $2.9
315
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:06,404
PROTESTS FROM JEFF BEZOS' BLUE
ORIGIN, NASA AND SPACEX'S $2.9
BILLION CONTRACT HAS BEEN
316
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,107
ORIGIN, NASA AND SPACEX'S $2.9
BILLION CONTRACT HAS BEEN
SUSPENDED.
317
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,643
BILLION CONTRACT HAS BEEN
SUSPENDED.
BUT MUSK HASN'T TAKEN IT LYING
318
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:11,910
SUSPENDED.
BUT MUSK HASN'T TAKEN IT LYING
DOWN.
319
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:12,510
BUT MUSK HASN'T TAKEN IT LYING
DOWN.
IN RESPONSE TO BEZOS' PROTEST,
320
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:15,747
DOWN.
IN RESPONSE TO BEZOS' PROTEST,
HE TWEETED
321
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,715
IN RESPONSE TO BEZOS' PROTEST,
HE TWEETED
CAN'T GET IT UP --
322
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:17,816
HE TWEETED
CAN'T GET IT UP --
TO ORBIT -- LOL.
323
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,719
CAN'T GET IT UP --
TO ORBIT -- LOL.
CAN'T GET IT UP?
324
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:24,155
TO ORBIT -- LOL.
CAN'T GET IT UP?
HAVE YOU SEEN JEFF BEZOS?
325
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:24,723
CAN'T GET IT UP?
HAVE YOU SEEN JEFF BEZOS?
HE IS IT UP IN A BLUE SHIRT.
326
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:28,727
HAVE YOU SEEN JEFF BEZOS?
HE IS IT UP IN A BLUE SHIRT.
NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE NOT
327
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,029
HE IS IT UP IN A BLUE SHIRT.
NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE NOT
ASKING: JUST WHY ARE THESE
328
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:31,663
NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE NOT
ASKING: JUST WHY ARE THESE
BILLION-AHOLES GOING AT IT LIKE
329
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:36,167
ASKING: JUST WHY ARE THESE
BILLION-AHOLES GOING AT IT LIKE
THIS?
330
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:36,801
BILLION-AHOLES GOING AT IT LIKE
THIS?
MAYBE BECAUSE THERE ARE DEFENSE
331
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,638
THIS?
MAYBE BECAUSE THERE ARE DEFENSE
CONTRACTS AND SATELLITE BASED
332
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:40,705
MAYBE BECAUSE THERE ARE DEFENSE
CONTRACTS AND SATELLITE BASED
INTERNET DEALS AT STAKE WITH
333
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:45,577
CONTRACTS AND SATELLITE BASED
INTERNET DEALS AT STAKE WITH
TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO BE MADE.
334
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:45,844
INTERNET DEALS AT STAKE WITH
TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO BE MADE.
TRILLIONS!
335
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,146
TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO BE MADE.
TRILLIONS!
IF ONE OF THESE GUYS MADE A
336
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:48,780
TRILLIONS!
IF ONE OF THESE GUYS MADE A
TRILLION BUCKS, IMAGINE HOW MUCH
337
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:54,119
IF ONE OF THESE GUYS MADE A
TRILLION BUCKS, IMAGINE HOW MUCH
NO TAXES THEY WOULD PAY.
338
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,720
TRILLION BUCKS, IMAGINE HOW MUCH
NO TAXES THEY WOULD PAY.
IN OTHER SPACE NEWS, IT FEELS
339
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:56,721
NO TAXES THEY WOULD PAY.
IN OTHER SPACE NEWS, IT FEELS
LIKE FOR THE LAST MONTH, WE'VE
340
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,890
IN OTHER SPACE NEWS, IT FEELS
LIKE FOR THE LAST MONTH, WE'VE
BEEN GETTING NEW HOT SCOOPS
341
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,125
LIKE FOR THE LAST MONTH, WE'VE
BEEN GETTING NEW HOT SCOOPS
ABOUT U.F.O.S, WITH ALL KINDS OF
342
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:04,362
BEEN GETTING NEW HOT SCOOPS
ABOUT U.F.O.S, WITH ALL KINDS OF
UNEXPLAINED OBJECTS ZOOMING
343
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:04,929
ABOUT U.F.O.S, WITH ALL KINDS OF
UNEXPLAINED OBJECTS ZOOMING
AROUND NEAR THE US MILITARY
344
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:05,463
UNEXPLAINED OBJECTS ZOOMING
AROUND NEAR THE US MILITARY
CAPTURED IN SHAKY, GRAINY
345
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,365
AROUND NEAR THE US MILITARY
CAPTURED IN SHAKY, GRAINY
FOOTAGE.
346
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,700
CAPTURED IN SHAKY, GRAINY
FOOTAGE.
IT'S ALL PART OF THE BUILDUP TO
347
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:12,170
FOOTAGE.
IT'S ALL PART OF THE BUILDUP TO
THE RELEASE OF AN UPCOMING
348
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,739
IT'S ALL PART OF THE BUILDUP TO
THE RELEASE OF AN UPCOMING
GOVERNMENT REPORT ON U.F.O.S.
349
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,675
THE RELEASE OF AN UPCOMING
GOVERNMENT REPORT ON U.F.O.S.
IT'S NOT OUT YET, BUT THERE'S
350
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:17,942
GOVERNMENT REPORT ON U.F.O.S.
IT'S NOT OUT YET, BUT THERE'S
GOOD NEWS: OFFICIALS HAVE BEEN
351
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:18,543
IT'S NOT OUT YET, BUT THERE'S
GOOD NEWS: OFFICIALS HAVE BEEN
BRIEFED ON THE FINDINGS, AND,
352
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:22,714
GOOD NEWS: OFFICIALS HAVE BEEN
BRIEFED ON THE FINDINGS, AND,
FOLKS, WE'VE GOT THE INSIDE
353
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,115
BRIEFED ON THE FINDINGS, AND,
FOLKS, WE'VE GOT THE INSIDE
SCOOP.
354
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,718
FOLKS, WE'VE GOT THE INSIDE
SCOOP.
GRAB YOUR TINFOIL AND HIDE YOUR
355
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,652
SCOOP.
GRAB YOUR TINFOIL AND HIDE YOUR
BRAINWAVES BECAUSE, APPARENTLY,
356
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,720
GRAB YOUR TINFOIL AND HIDE YOUR
BRAINWAVES BECAUSE, APPARENTLY,
U.S. FINDS NO EVIDENCE OF ALIEN
357
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,155
BRAINWAVES BECAUSE, APPARENTLY,
U.S. FINDS NO EVIDENCE OF ALIEN
TECHNOLOGY IN FLYING OBJECTS,
358
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:35,627
U.S. FINDS NO EVIDENCE OF ALIEN
TECHNOLOGY IN FLYING OBJECTS,
BUT CAN'T RULE IT OUT, EITHER.
359
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:36,161
TECHNOLOGY IN FLYING OBJECTS,
BUT CAN'T RULE IT OUT, EITHER.
OH, MY GOD!
360
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:36,795
BUT CAN'T RULE IT OUT, EITHER.
OH, MY GOD!
THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE KNOWN THAT
361
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:40,165
OH, MY GOD!
THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE KNOWN THAT
WOULD BE TO HAVE NOT READ THE
362
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:40,699
THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE KNOWN THAT
WOULD BE TO HAVE NOT READ THE
REPORT.
363
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:44,669
WOULD BE TO HAVE NOT READ THE
REPORT.
COME ON, NASA, THAT'S NOT
364
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:45,904
REPORT.
COME ON, NASA, THAT'S NOT
TELLING US ANYTHING.
365
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,405
COME ON, NASA, THAT'S NOT
TELLING US ANYTHING.
THERE'S A REASON THE X-FILES
366
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,173
TELLING US ANYTHING.
THERE'S A REASON THE X-FILES
SLOGAN WASN'T
367
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:52,277
THERE'S A REASON THE X-FILES
SLOGAN WASN'T
THERE IS NO EVIDENCE FOR THE
368
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:52,744
SLOGAN WASN'T
THERE IS NO EVIDENCE FOR THE
TRUTH BEING OUT THERE.
369
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:53,378
THERE IS NO EVIDENCE FOR THE
TRUTH BEING OUT THERE.
BUT WE CAN'T RULE OUT THE TRUTH
370
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:53,945
TRUTH BEING OUT THERE.
BUT WE CAN'T RULE OUT THE TRUTH
BEING NOT IN HERE.
371
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:54,479
BUT WE CAN'T RULE OUT THE TRUTH
BEING NOT IN HERE.
IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE JUST
372
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,113
BEING NOT IN HERE.
IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE JUST
FILING THIS REPORT BECAUSE THEY
373
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:55,680
IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE JUST
FILING THIS REPORT BECAUSE THEY
PROMISED TO HAVE IT READY BY
374
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:55,947
FILING THIS REPORT BECAUSE THEY
PROMISED TO HAVE IT READY BY
JUNE.
375
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:56,715
PROMISED TO HAVE IT READY BY
JUNE.
THE REPORT ITSELF CONCEDES THAT
376
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:57,482
JUNE.
THE REPORT ITSELF CONCEDES THAT
MUCH ABOUT THE OBSERVED
377
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,149
THE REPORT ITSELF CONCEDES THAT
MUCH ABOUT THE OBSERVED
PHENOMENA REMAINS DIFFICULT TO
378
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,017
MUCH ABOUT THE OBSERVED
PHENOMENA REMAINS DIFFICULT TO
EXPLAIN, INCLUDING THEIR
379
00:11:59,019 --> 00:11:59,651
PHENOMENA REMAINS DIFFICULT TO
EXPLAIN, INCLUDING THEIR
ACCELERATION, AS WELL AS ABILITY
380
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:00,151
EXPLAIN, INCLUDING THEIR
ACCELERATION, AS WELL AS ABILITY
TO CHANGE DIRECTION AND
381
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,220
ACCELERATION, AS WELL AS ABILITY
TO CHANGE DIRECTION AND
SUBMERGE.
382
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,723
TO CHANGE DIRECTION AND
SUBMERGE.
WELL, IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT,
383
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,459
SUBMERGE.
WELL, IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT,
THEN MAYBE DON'T TURN IN THE
384
00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:07,792
WELL, IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT,
THEN MAYBE DON'T TURN IN THE
REPORT YET.
385
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:08,660
THEN MAYBE DON'T TURN IN THE
REPORT YET.
YOU'RE LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL
386
00:12:08,662 --> 00:12:09,761
REPORT YET.
YOU'RE LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL
JUNIOR:
387
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:10,662
YOU'RE LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL
JUNIOR:
"MOBY DICK IS ABOUT A WHALE AND
388
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:11,963
JUNIOR:
"MOBY DICK IS ABOUT A WHALE AND
A MAN ON A BOAT AND SOME STUFF
389
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:12,597
"MOBY DICK IS ABOUT A WHALE AND
A MAN ON A BOAT AND SOME STUFF
ABOUT KNOTS, BUT THE REST OF THE
390
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:13,131
A MAN ON A BOAT AND SOME STUFF
ABOUT KNOTS, BUT THE REST OF THE
BOOK REMAINS DIFFICULT TO
391
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:13,765
ABOUT KNOTS, BUT THE REST OF THE
BOOK REMAINS DIFFICULT TO
EXPLAIN BECAUSE I DIDN'T FINISH
392
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,233
BOOK REMAINS DIFFICULT TO
EXPLAIN BECAUSE I DIDN'T FINISH
IT.
393
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:15,800
EXPLAIN BECAUSE I DIDN'T FINISH
IT.
TONY HAD EVERYBODY UP TO THE
394
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:16,701
IT.
TONY HAD EVERYBODY UP TO THE
LAKE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND.
395
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:20,705
TONY HAD EVERYBODY UP TO THE
LAKE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND.
CALL ME ISHMAEL."
396
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,707
LAKE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND.
CALL ME ISHMAEL."
THE ONLY CONCRETE ASSERTION THAT
397
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:23,408
CALL ME ISHMAEL."
THE ONLY CONCRETE ASSERTION THAT
THE GOVERNMENT MAKES IS THAT THE
398
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,142
THE ONLY CONCRETE ASSERTION THAT
THE GOVERNMENT MAKES IS THAT THE
LAST 20 YEARS OF U.F.O.
399
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:24,876
THE GOVERNMENT MAKES IS THAT THE
LAST 20 YEARS OF U.F.O.
INCIDENTS DID NOT ORIGINATE FROM
400
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,412
LAST 20 YEARS OF U.F.O.
INCIDENTS DID NOT ORIGINATE FROM
ANY AMERICAN MILITARY OR OTHER
401
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,713
INCIDENTS DID NOT ORIGINATE FROM
ANY AMERICAN MILITARY OR OTHER
ADVANCED U.S. GOVERNMENT
402
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:32,450
ANY AMERICAN MILITARY OR OTHER
ADVANCED U.S. GOVERNMENT
TECHNOLOGY.
403
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:32,984
ADVANCED U.S. GOVERNMENT
TECHNOLOGY.
SO IT IS TOTALLY AMERICAN
404
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,320
TECHNOLOGY.
SO IT IS TOTALLY AMERICAN
MILITARY OR OTHER ADVANCED US
405
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:35,920
SO IT IS TOTALLY AMERICAN
MILITARY OR OTHER ADVANCED US
GOVERNMENT TECHNOLOGY.
406
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:36,554
MILITARY OR OTHER ADVANCED US
GOVERNMENT TECHNOLOGY.
BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA
407
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:40,492
GOVERNMENT TECHNOLOGY.
BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA
LIE.
408
00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:41,126
BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA
LIE.
THAT'S WHY IN THE 80S YOU NEVER
409
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,127
LIE.
THAT'S WHY IN THE 80S YOU NEVER
SAW A GOVERNMENT REPORT TITLED:
410
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,561
THAT'S WHY IN THE 80S YOU NEVER
SAW A GOVERNMENT REPORT TITLED:
OKAY, YOU GOT US.
411
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,162
SAW A GOVERNMENT REPORT TITLED:
OKAY, YOU GOT US.
CARDS ON THE TABLE: WE BUILT A
412
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:44,763
OKAY, YOU GOT US.
CARDS ON THE TABLE: WE BUILT A
STEALTH BOMBER LOOK HOW BADASS
413
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,932
CARDS ON THE TABLE: WE BUILT A
STEALTH BOMBER LOOK HOW BADASS
THIS IS!
414
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:48,433
STEALTH BOMBER LOOK HOW BADASS
THIS IS!
BUT THEY INSIST IT'S NOT
415
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,000
THIS IS!
BUT THEY INSIST IT'S NOT
AMERICAN, AND SOME OFFICIALS
416
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:52,504
BUT THEY INSIST IT'S NOT
AMERICAN, AND SOME OFFICIALS
BELIEVE THE PHENOMENA COULD HAVE
417
00:12:52,506 --> 00:12:53,071
AMERICAN, AND SOME OFFICIALS
BELIEVE THE PHENOMENA COULD HAVE
BEEN EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY
418
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,139
BELIEVE THE PHENOMENA COULD HAVE
BEEN EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY
FROM A RIVAL POWER, MOST LIKELY
419
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:58,643
BEEN EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY
FROM A RIVAL POWER, MOST LIKELY
RUSSIA OR CHINA.
420
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,111
FROM A RIVAL POWER, MOST LIKELY
RUSSIA OR CHINA.
HMM, JIM, CAN YOU SHOW ME A
421
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,947
RUSSIA OR CHINA.
HMM, JIM, CAN YOU SHOW ME A
STILL OF THAT FOOTAGE?
422
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,616
HMM, JIM, CAN YOU SHOW ME A
STILL OF THAT FOOTAGE?
CAN YOU ZOOM IN?
423
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,117
STILL OF THAT FOOTAGE?
CAN YOU ZOOM IN?
NOW ENHANCE...
424
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,286
CAN YOU ZOOM IN?
NOW ENHANCE...
BUSTED!
425
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:08,887
NOW ENHANCE...
BUSTED!
AT THAT ALTITUDE, HIS NIPPLES
426
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:12,157
BUSTED!
AT THAT ALTITUDE, HIS NIPPLES
MUST BE LIKE DIAMONDS.
427
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:16,661
AT THAT ALTITUDE, HIS NIPPLES
MUST BE LIKE DIAMONDS.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
428
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,062
MUST BE LIKE DIAMONDS.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
429
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:18,630
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS CHRIS MATTHEWS.
430
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,497
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS CHRIS MATTHEWS.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, OUR
431
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,198
MY GUEST IS CHRIS MATTHEWS.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, OUR
UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE
432
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:20,832
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, OUR
UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE
PLUNKETT EXPLORES THIS SUMMER'S
433
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:24,102
UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE
PLUNKETT EXPLORES THIS SUMMER'S
CICADA SWARM.
434
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:24,702
PLUNKETT EXPLORES THIS SUMMER'S
CICADA SWARM.
STICK AROUND.
435
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:28,673
CICADA SWARM.
STICK AROUND.
♪♪♪
436
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:55,466
♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY!
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW,"
437
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:55,733
>> Stephen: HEY!
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW,"
EVERYBODY.
438
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:56,334
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW,"
EVERYBODY.
AS MORE PEOPLE GET VACCINATED
439
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,502
EVERYBODY.
AS MORE PEOPLE GET VACCINATED
AND THE COUNTRY RE-OPENS,
440
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,102
AS MORE PEOPLE GET VACCINATED
AND THE COUNTRY RE-OPENS,
THERE'S SO MANY THINGS PEOPLE
441
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:00,505
AND THE COUNTRY RE-OPENS,
THERE'S SO MANY THINGS PEOPLE
ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING
442
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:06,344
THERE'S SO MANY THINGS PEOPLE
ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING
AGAIN THIS SUMMER --
443
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,178
ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING
AGAIN THIS SUMMER --
LIKE TRAVELING AND HUGGING
444
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:07,946
AGAIN THIS SUMMER --
LIKE TRAVELING AND HUGGING
RELATIVES, AND HEARING THE
445
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:08,546
LIKE TRAVELING AND HUGGING
RELATIVES, AND HEARING THE
PIERCING SHRIEK OF BILLIONS OF
446
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,981
RELATIVES, AND HEARING THE
PIERCING SHRIEK OF BILLIONS OF
CICADAS AS THEY EMERGE ALL OVER
447
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:10,882
PIERCING SHRIEK OF BILLIONS OF
CICADAS AS THEY EMERGE ALL OVER
THE EASTERN UNITED STATES --
448
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:11,749
CICADAS AS THEY EMERGE ALL OVER
THE EASTERN UNITED STATES --
BECAUSE THIS SUMMER MARKS THE
449
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:12,483
THE EASTERN UNITED STATES --
BECAUSE THIS SUMMER MARKS THE
RETURN OF THE "BROOD X" CICADAS,
450
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,218
BECAUSE THIS SUMMER MARKS THE
RETURN OF THE "BROOD X" CICADAS,
WHICH EMERGE EVERY 17 YEARS,
451
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:13,985
RETURN OF THE "BROOD X" CICADAS,
WHICH EMERGE EVERY 17 YEARS,
MEANING THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABOVE
452
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,220
WHICH EMERGE EVERY 17 YEARS,
MEANING THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABOVE
GROUND SINCE 2004.
453
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,087
MEANING THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABOVE
GROUND SINCE 2004.
SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY'RE
454
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:16,688
GROUND SINCE 2004.
SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY'RE
STILL WEARING TRUCKER HATS AND
455
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:20,525
SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY'RE
STILL WEARING TRUCKER HATS AND
UGG BOOTS.
456
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,427
STILL WEARING TRUCKER HATS AND
UGG BOOTS.
THE FACT THAT THESE LARGE, NOISY
457
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,061
UGG BOOTS.
THE FACT THAT THESE LARGE, NOISY
INSECTS CRAWL OUT OF THE GROUND
458
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,495
THE FACT THAT THESE LARGE, NOISY
INSECTS CRAWL OUT OF THE GROUND
EVERY 17 YEARS CAN BE HARD TO
459
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,196
INSECTS CRAWL OUT OF THE GROUND
EVERY 17 YEARS CAN BE HARD TO
UNDERSTAND.
460
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:25,964
EVERY 17 YEARS CAN BE HARD TO
UNDERSTAND.
BUT, THANKFULLY, WE HERE AT THE
461
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,533
UNDERSTAND.
BUT, THANKFULLY, WE HERE AT THE
LATE SHOW HAVE AN EXPERT IN NOT
462
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,201
BUT, THANKFULLY, WE HERE AT THE
LATE SHOW HAVE AN EXPERT IN NOT
UNDERSTANDING THINGS.
463
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,803
LATE SHOW HAVE AN EXPERT IN NOT
UNDERSTANDING THINGS.
HER NAME IS BOOTSIE PLUNKETT.
464
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:32,370
UNDERSTANDING THINGS.
HER NAME IS BOOTSIE PLUNKETT.
SHE'S THE MOTHER OF MY FIELD
465
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,205
HER NAME IS BOOTSIE PLUNKETT.
SHE'S THE MOTHER OF MY FIELD
PRODUCER, JAKE PLUNKETT.
466
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,406
SHE'S THE MOTHER OF MY FIELD
PRODUCER, JAKE PLUNKETT.
AND SHE IS ALSO THE LATE SHOW'S
467
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,474
PRODUCER, JAKE PLUNKETT.
AND SHE IS ALSO THE LATE SHOW'S
OFFICIAL UNINFORMED
468
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,543
AND SHE IS ALSO THE LATE SHOW'S
OFFICIAL UNINFORMED
CORRESPONDENT.
469
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:42,146
OFFICIAL UNINFORMED
CORRESPONDENT.
BOOTSIE USES HER UNIQUE
470
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,982
CORRESPONDENT.
BOOTSIE USES HER UNIQUE
PERSPECTIVE TO HELP US ALL GET A
471
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,317
BOOTSIE USES HER UNIQUE
PERSPECTIVE TO HELP US ALL GET A
LITTLE LESS UN-INFORMED.
472
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:46,951
PERSPECTIVE TO HELP US ALL GET A
LITTLE LESS UN-INFORMED.
AND, RECENTLY, JAKE TOOK HER TO
473
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:47,585
LITTLE LESS UN-INFORMED.
AND, RECENTLY, JAKE TOOK HER TO
LEARN ABOUT THESE INSECTS AT NEW
474
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,486
AND, RECENTLY, JAKE TOOK HER TO
LEARN ABOUT THESE INSECTS AT NEW
YORK'S MUSEUM OF NATURAL
475
00:14:48,488 --> 00:15:00,498
LEARN ABOUT THESE INSECTS AT NEW
YORK'S MUSEUM OF NATURAL
HISTORY.
476
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,901
YORK'S MUSEUM OF NATURAL
HISTORY.
( CICADA SOUNDS )
477
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:05,570
HISTORY.
( CICADA SOUNDS )
>> I TOOK MY MOM TO THE AMERICAN
478
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,604
( CICADA SOUNDS )
>> I TOOK MY MOM TO THE AMERICAN
MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY TO SEE
479
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,006
>> I TOOK MY MOM TO THE AMERICAN
MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY TO SEE
IF SHE COULD CONQUER HER FEAR OF
480
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:12,677
MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY TO SEE
IF SHE COULD CONQUER HER FEAR OF
BUGS BEFORE THEY MAKE THEIR
481
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:12,944
IF SHE COULD CONQUER HER FEAR OF
BUGS BEFORE THEY MAKE THEIR
ENTRANCE.
482
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:13,978
BUGS BEFORE THEY MAKE THEIR
ENTRANCE.
DO YOU LIKE SCIENCE AS A
483
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:14,712
ENTRANCE.
DO YOU LIKE SCIENCE AS A
SUBJECT.
484
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,513
DO YOU LIKE SCIENCE AS A
SUBJECT.
>> YES, I DO.
485
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,315
SUBJECT.
>> YES, I DO.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF
486
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:17,582
>> YES, I DO.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF
SCIENCE.
487
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,951
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF
SCIENCE.
>> HOW YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE.
488
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:20,985
SCIENCE.
>> HOW YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE.
THAT -- WHAT?
489
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:24,689
>> HOW YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE.
THAT -- WHAT?
HOW DO YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE?
490
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:24,956
THAT -- WHAT?
HOW DO YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE?
>> MM-HMM.
491
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,624
HOW DO YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE?
>> MM-HMM.
I THINK THAT'S A BIBLE THING.
492
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,493
>> MM-HMM.
I THINK THAT'S A BIBLE THING.
WELL, THE BIG THING TODAY IS
493
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:34,432
I THINK THAT'S A BIBLE THING.
WELL, THE BIG THING TODAY IS
WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT IS
494
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,333
WELL, THE BIG THING TODAY IS
WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT IS
BRUTE CICADAS.
495
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,969
WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT IS
BRUTE CICADAS.
THAT HAPPENS EVERY 16 OR 17
496
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:38,303
BRUTE CICADAS.
THAT HAPPENS EVERY 16 OR 17
YEARS.
497
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,438
THAT HAPPENS EVERY 16 OR 17
YEARS.
>> THEY I'LL COME OUT AND DIG UP
498
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,940
YEARS.
>> THEY I'LL COME OUT AND DIG UP
MY DIRT AND FLY AROUND.
499
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,942
>> THEY I'LL COME OUT AND DIG UP
MY DIRT AND FLY AROUND.
>> I DON'T THINK THEY WILL RUIN
500
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,009
MY DIRT AND FLY AROUND.
>> I DON'T THINK THEY WILL RUIN
YOUR LAWN.
501
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:46,311
>> I DON'T THINK THEY WILL RUIN
YOUR LAWN.
>> SO YOU HAVE TO BE ON TO
502
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:46,544
YOUR LAWN.
>> SO YOU HAVE TO BE ON TO
LOOKOUT.
503
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:47,445
>> SO YOU HAVE TO BE ON TO
LOOKOUT.
>> YOU HEAR THEM.
504
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,179
LOOKOUT.
>> YOU HEAR THEM.
THEY'RE VERY LOUD.
505
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,248
>> YOU HEAR THEM.
THEY'RE VERY LOUD.
>> I HEAR THEM IN THE BUSHES, IN
506
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,382
THEY'RE VERY LOUD.
>> I HEAR THEM IN THE BUSHES, IN
THE SUMMER.
507
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,250
>> I HEAR THEM IN THE BUSHES, IN
THE SUMMER.
>> YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THESE.
508
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,852
THE SUMMER.
>> YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THESE.
THEY HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND IN 16
509
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:55,053
>> YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THESE.
THEY HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND IN 16
YEARS.
510
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,288
THEY HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND IN 16
YEARS.
>> THEN WHAT AM I HEARING?
511
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,624
YEARS.
>> THEN WHAT AM I HEARING?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
512
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,893
>> THEN WHAT AM I HEARING?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
HEARING IN YOUR BUSHES
513
00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:02,293
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
HEARING IN YOUR BUSHES
( HISSING SOUND )
514
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,529
HEARING IN YOUR BUSHES
( HISSING SOUND )
>> SOUNDS LIKE A SNAKE.
515
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:13,705
( HISSING SOUND )
>> SOUNDS LIKE A SNAKE.
NO, CICADAS.
516
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:16,975
>> SOUNDS LIKE A SNAKE.
NO, CICADAS.
WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT
517
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:21,045
NO, CICADAS.
WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT
CICADAs -- PRONOUNCING ).
518
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,380
WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT
CICADAs -- PRONOUNCING ).
>> DON'T BRING A BIG NEAR ME I
519
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:25,450
CICADAs -- PRONOUNCING ).
>> DON'T BRING A BIG NEAR ME I
WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE LIKE HELL.
520
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,419
>> DON'T BRING A BIG NEAR ME I
WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE LIKE HELL.
>> TIME FOR MY MOM TO TALK ABOUT
521
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,488
WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE LIKE HELL.
>> TIME FOR MY MOM TO TALK ABOUT
DR. JESSICAWARE IN THE HALL OF
522
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:30,888
>> TIME FOR MY MOM TO TALK ABOUT
DR. JESSICAWARE IN THE HALL OF
BIODIVERSITY.
523
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:42,133
DR. JESSICAWARE IN THE HALL OF
BIODIVERSITY.
>> SO WE'RE LEARNING A AND
524
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,334
BIODIVERSITY.
>> SO WE'RE LEARNING A AND
DISAYDAS TODAY?
525
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,303
>> SO WE'RE LEARNING A AND
DISAYDAS TODAY?
>> ANNUAL ONES COME OUT EVERY
526
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,704
DISAYDAS TODAY?
>> ANNUAL ONES COME OUT EVERY
YEAR BUT THE PERIODICAL ONES
527
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,773
>> ANNUAL ONES COME OUT EVERY
YEAR BUT THE PERIODICAL ONES
COME OUT EVERY 13 OR 17 YEARS.
528
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:51,542
YEAR BUT THE PERIODICAL ONES
COME OUT EVERY 13 OR 17 YEARS.
>> A LONG TIME, THEY MUST BE
529
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:54,245
COME OUT EVERY 13 OR 17 YEARS.
>> A LONG TIME, THEY MUST BE
BORED DOWN THERE 17 YEARS!
530
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,179
>> A LONG TIME, THEY MUST BE
BORED DOWN THERE 17 YEARS!
>> THIS IS THEIR LIFE.
531
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,714
BORED DOWN THERE 17 YEARS!
>> THIS IS THEIR LIFE.
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THEIR
532
00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,284
>> THIS IS THEIR LIFE.
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THEIR
WHOLE LIFE, AS A CHILD, IN THE
533
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,753
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THEIR
WHOLE LIFE, AS A CHILD, IN THE
JUVENILE STAGE, THEN THEIR ADULT
534
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:03,721
WHOLE LIFE, AS A CHILD, IN THE
JUVENILE STAGE, THEN THEIR ADULT
LIFE IS JUST A FEW WEEKS.
535
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,289
JUVENILE STAGE, THEN THEIR ADULT
LIFE IS JUST A FEW WEEKS.
BUT 17 YEARS IN YOUR JUVENILE
536
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,625
LIFE IS JUST A FEW WEEKS.
BUT 17 YEARS IN YOUR JUVENILE
STAGE, THEN YOUR ADULT IS
537
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:07,859
BUT 17 YEARS IN YOUR JUVENILE
STAGE, THEN YOUR ADULT IS
JUST --
538
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,327
STAGE, THEN YOUR ADULT IS
JUST --
>> HOW LONG DO THEY LIVE FOR?
539
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,696
JUST --
>> HOW LONG DO THEY LIVE FOR?
I THINK IT'S LIKE THREE, FOUR
540
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,830
>> HOW LONG DO THEY LIVE FOR?
I THINK IT'S LIKE THREE, FOUR
WEEKS OR SO.
541
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,366
I THINK IT'S LIKE THREE, FOUR
WEEKS OR SO.
>> THEY ONLY LIVE FOR THREE
542
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:15,566
WEEKS OR SO.
>> THEY ONLY LIVE FOR THREE
WEEKS?
543
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:16,434
>> THEY ONLY LIVE FOR THREE
WEEKS?
>> AS AN ADULT.
544
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,236
WEEKS?
>> AS AN ADULT.
WHEN THEY COME UP FROM THE
545
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,537
>> AS AN ADULT.
WHEN THEY COME UP FROM THE
GROUND.
546
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:19,771
WHEN THEY COME UP FROM THE
GROUND.
>> YEAH.
547
00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:21,572
GROUND.
>> YEAH.
OH, THEY SHOULD STAY THERE.
548
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,207
>> YEAH.
OH, THEY SHOULD STAY THERE.
THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO
549
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,475
OH, THEY SHOULD STAY THERE.
THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO
THEIR DEMISE.
550
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,511
THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO
THEIR DEMISE.
>> BUT, I MEAN, THEY CAN'T MATE
551
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,346
THEIR DEMISE.
>> BUT, I MEAN, THEY CAN'T MATE
WHEN THEY'RE UNDERGROUND.
552
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:28,546
>> BUT, I MEAN, THEY CAN'T MATE
WHEN THEY'RE UNDERGROUND.
>> OH.
553
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,014
WHEN THEY'RE UNDERGROUND.
>> OH.
SO THEY HAVE TO EMERGE TO THE
554
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,150
>> OH.
SO THEY HAVE TO EMERGE TO THE
ADULT FORM, THEN THEY REPRODUCE.
555
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,518
SO THEY HAVE TO EMERGE TO THE
ADULT FORM, THEN THEY REPRODUCE.
>> YOU SOUND LIKE YOU LOVE YOUR
556
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:33,718
ADULT FORM, THEN THEY REPRODUCE.
>> YOU SOUND LIKE YOU LOVE YOUR
BUGS.
557
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,687
>> YOU SOUND LIKE YOU LOVE YOUR
BUGS.
>> I LOVE MY BUGS.
558
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:37,288
BUGS.
>> I LOVE MY BUGS.
BUGGIES.
559
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,290
>> I LOVE MY BUGS.
BUGGIES.
I LIKE INSECTS.
560
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:39,657
BUGGIES.
I LIKE INSECTS.
OH.
561
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:43,428
I LIKE INSECTS.
OH.
SO WE USUALLY SAY I'M AN
562
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,431
OH.
SO WE USUALLY SAY I'M AN
ENTOMOLOGIST, I WORK ON INSECTS.
563
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,765
SO WE USUALLY SAY I'M AN
ENTOMOLOGIST, I WORK ON INSECTS.
>> YOU OPERATE ON THEM?
564
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:48,032
ENTOMOLOGIST, I WORK ON INSECTS.
>> YOU OPERATE ON THEM?
SOMETIMES.
565
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,269
>> YOU OPERATE ON THEM?
SOMETIMES.
YOU'RE A SURGEON OF BUGS?
566
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:55,073
SOMETIMES.
YOU'RE A SURGEON OF BUGS?
WHAT I STUDY IS REPRODUCTIVE
567
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:57,708
YOU'RE A SURGEON OF BUGS?
WHAT I STUDY IS REPRODUCTIVE
MORPHOLOGY, SO I HAVE THESE TINY
568
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,911
WHAT I STUDY IS REPRODUCTIVE
MORPHOLOGY, SO I HAVE THESE TINY
INSTRUMENTS AND I DISSECT OUT
569
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,479
MORPHOLOGY, SO I HAVE THESE TINY
INSTRUMENTS AND I DISSECT OUT
THE PENISES AND --
570
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,347
INSTRUMENTS AND I DISSECT OUT
THE PENISES AND --
>> OH, MY GOD!
571
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,716
THE PENISES AND --
>> OH, MY GOD!
LIKE ME, I HAD A BABY
572
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:09,287
>> OH, MY GOD!
LIKE ME, I HAD A BABY
SQUIRREL -- NO, I DON'T DISSECT
573
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:09,620
LIKE ME, I HAD A BABY
SQUIRREL -- NO, I DON'T DISSECT
PENNIES.
574
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,088
SQUIRREL -- NO, I DON'T DISSECT
PENNIES.
>> YOU SOUND LIKE ME.
575
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,722
PENNIES.
>> YOU SOUND LIKE ME.
NO, NO, NO!
576
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:14,892
>> YOU SOUND LIKE ME.
NO, NO, NO!
I FOUND A PINKY BABY SQUIRREL IN
577
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:15,593
NO, NO, NO!
I FOUND A PINKY BABY SQUIRREL IN
MY ALLEYWAY.
578
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,361
I FOUND A PINKY BABY SQUIRREL IN
MY ALLEYWAY.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH
579
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:18,796
MY ALLEYWAY.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH
IT, IT WAS GOING TO GET EATEN OR
580
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,531
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH
IT, IT WAS GOING TO GET EATEN OR
STEPPED ON BY SOMEBODY, SO I
581
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,466
IT, IT WAS GOING TO GET EATEN OR
STEPPED ON BY SOMEBODY, SO I
BROUGHT IT IN.
582
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:22,967
STEPPED ON BY SOMEBODY, SO I
BROUGHT IT IN.
WHAT YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT
583
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:26,671
BROUGHT IT IN.
WHAT YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT
THAT IS I HAD TO STIMULATE ITS
584
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,039
WHAT YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT
THAT IS I HAD TO STIMULATE ITS
PENNIES FOR IT TO PEA.
585
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:30,541
THAT IS I HAD TO STIMULATE ITS
PENNIES FOR IT TO PEA.
I TOLD MY SISTER-IN-LAW AND SHE
586
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:34,645
PENNIES FOR IT TO PEA.
I TOLD MY SISTER-IN-LAW AND SHE
SAID, OH, NOW YOU'RE INTO MASTER
587
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,813
I TOLD MY SISTER-IN-LAW AND SHE
SAID, OH, NOW YOU'RE INTO MASTER
BAITING ( BLEEP ) SQUIRRELS?
588
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,982
SAID, OH, NOW YOU'RE INTO MASTER
BAITING ( BLEEP ) SQUIRRELS?
THEY CAN'T PEA WHEN THEY'RE
589
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,319
BAITING ( BLEEP ) SQUIRRELS?
THEY CAN'T PEA WHEN THEY'RE
FIRST NEWBORN, THEY NEED TO BE
590
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,387
THEY CAN'T PEA WHEN THEY'RE
FIRST NEWBORN, THEY NEED TO BE
STIMULATED.
591
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,956
FIRST NEWBORN, THEY NEED TO BE
STIMULATED.
>> DID SOMEBODY TELL YOU THAT?
592
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:45,156
STIMULATED.
>> DID SOMEBODY TELL YOU THAT?
YEAH.
593
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:45,523
>> DID SOMEBODY TELL YOU THAT?
YEAH.
WASN'T TRUE?
594
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,425
YEAH.
WASN'T TRUE?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
595
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:47,625
WASN'T TRUE?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE.
596
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,526
>> I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE.
HOW DO YOU FIND OUT.
597
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,094
MAYBE.
HOW DO YOU FIND OUT.
>> I WENT ONLINE.
598
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:50,294
HOW DO YOU FIND OUT.
>> I WENT ONLINE.
OKAY.
599
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,497
>> I WENT ONLINE.
OKAY.
MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, YES, I
600
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,532
OKAY.
MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, YES, I
DID DO THAT, AND THE LITTLE
601
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,534
MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, YES, I
DID DO THAT, AND THE LITTLE
BUBBLE WOULD COME OUT OF HIS
602
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,303
DID DO THAT, AND THE LITTLE
BUBBLE WOULD COME OUT OF HIS
PENNIES AND THAT WAS HIM
603
00:18:59,305 --> 00:18:59,537
BUBBLE WOULD COME OUT OF HIS
PENNIES AND THAT WAS HIM
PEAKING.
604
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:00,505
PENNIES AND THAT WAS HIM
PEAKING.
>> AFTER GETTING TO REEL KNOW
605
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,206
PEAKING.
>> AFTER GETTING TO REEL KNOW
EACH OTHER DR.WARE OFFERED TO
606
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:05,076
>> AFTER GETTING TO REEL KNOW
EACH OTHER DR.WARE OFFERED TO
SHE MY MOM SOME CICADAS UP
607
00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:05,376
EACH OTHER DR.WARE OFFERED TO
SHE MY MOM SOME CICADAS UP
CLOSE.
608
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,145
SHE MY MOM SOME CICADAS UP
CLOSE.
>> WHAT IS THIS MEAN LOOKING
609
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:07,945
CLOSE.
>> WHAT IS THIS MEAN LOOKING
THING?
610
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,680
>> WHAT IS THIS MEAN LOOKING
THING?
THAT'S THE CICADA!
611
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,849
THING?
THAT'S THE CICADA!
>> THAT'S A RIG CICADA BUT IT'S
612
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,985
THAT'S THE CICADA!
>> THAT'S A RIG CICADA BUT IT'S
A GORGEOUS ONE, RIGHT?
613
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,786
>> THAT'S A RIG CICADA BUT IT'S
A GORGEOUS ONE, RIGHT?
>> I GUESS.
614
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,522
A GORGEOUS ONE, RIGHT?
>> I GUESS.
NICE COLORED PATTERN, COOL
615
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:17,788
>> I GUESS.
NICE COLORED PATTERN, COOL
WINGS.
616
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,190
NICE COLORED PATTERN, COOL
WINGS.
>> I GUESS IT'S PRETTY.
617
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,992
WINGS.
>> I GUESS IT'S PRETTY.
AS LONG AS IT STAYS OFF ME.
618
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,661
>> I GUESS IT'S PRETTY.
AS LONG AS IT STAYS OFF ME.
HAVE YOU LOVED BUGS YOUR WHOLE
619
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,028
AS LONG AS IT STAYS OFF ME.
HAVE YOU LOVED BUGS YOUR WHOLE
LIFE?
620
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:24,996
HAVE YOU LOVED BUGS YOUR WHOLE
LIFE?
>> I ALWAYS APPRECIATED INSECTS
621
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:25,863
LIFE?
>> I ALWAYS APPRECIATED INSECTS
FOR SURE.
622
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,765
>> I ALWAYS APPRECIATED INSECTS
FOR SURE.
I NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER AN
623
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:28,533
FOR SURE.
I NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER AN
INSECT, ACTUALLY.
624
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,635
I NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER AN
INSECT, ACTUALLY.
>> YOU DID?
625
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:36,307
INSECT, ACTUALLY.
>> YOU DID?
HER NAME IS AISHNA
626
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,508
>> YOU DID?
HER NAME IS AISHNA
( LAUGHTER )
627
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,210
HER NAME IS AISHNA
( LAUGHTER )
>> YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT HER,
628
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,511
( LAUGHTER )
>> YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT HER,
THAT'S HER REAL NAME.
629
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,246
>> YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT HER,
THAT'S HER REAL NAME.
>> NO, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU NAMED
630
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,015
THAT'S HER REAL NAME.
>> NO, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU NAMED
HER AFTER A BUG!
631
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:47,785
>> NO, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU NAMED
HER AFTER A BUG!
>> HERE IS WHERE WE KEEP THE
632
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:48,486
HER AFTER A BUG!
>> HERE IS WHERE WE KEEP THE
PERIODICAL CICADAS.
633
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:51,022
>> HERE IS WHERE WE KEEP THE
PERIODICAL CICADAS.
>> DRAWERS AND DRAWERS OF THEM.
634
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,390
PERIODICAL CICADAS.
>> DRAWERS AND DRAWERS OF THEM.
SOME CAN BE PRETTY LARGE.
635
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,426
>> DRAWERS AND DRAWERS OF THEM.
SOME CAN BE PRETTY LARGE.
I THINK I LIKE THE SMALL ONES
636
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:55,660
SOME CAN BE PRETTY LARGE.
I THINK I LIKE THE SMALL ONES
BETTER.
637
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,627
I THINK I LIKE THE SMALL ONES
BETTER.
>> THEY'RE BIG IN NUMBER.
638
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,062
BETTER.
>> THEY'RE BIG IN NUMBER.
THERE WILL BE A TRILLION OR.
639
00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,698
>> THEY'RE BIG IN NUMBER.
THERE WILL BE A TRILLION OR.
SO IT'S GOOD FOOD FOR BIRDS,
640
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,700
THERE WILL BE A TRILLION OR.
SO IT'S GOOD FOOD FOR BIRDS,
SQUIRRELS, CATS AND DOGS, GOOD
641
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,502
SO IT'S GOOD FOOD FOR BIRDS,
SQUIRRELS, CATS AND DOGS, GOOD
FOOD FOR YOU.
642
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,903
SQUIRRELS, CATS AND DOGS, GOOD
FOOD FOR YOU.
>> THE CICADAS?
643
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,004
FOOD FOR YOU.
>> THE CICADAS?
YEAH, YOU COULD EAT THEM.
644
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:07,705
>> THE CICADAS?
YEAH, YOU COULD EAT THEM.
OH, NO.
645
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,942
YEAH, YOU COULD EAT THEM.
OH, NO.
YOU SAID YOU LIKE LOBSTER.
646
00:20:10,944 --> 00:20:12,843
OH, NO.
YOU SAID YOU LIKE LOBSTER.
IT'S PROBABLY LIKE -- YOU KNOW.
647
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,413
YOU SAID YOU LIKE LOBSTER.
IT'S PROBABLY LIKE -- YOU KNOW.
>> HOW DO YOU CRACK OPEN A
648
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:15,646
IT'S PROBABLY LIKE -- YOU KNOW.
>> HOW DO YOU CRACK OPEN A
CICADA?
649
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,848
>> HOW DO YOU CRACK OPEN A
CICADA?
>> YOU TAKE THE WINGS OFF, YOU
650
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:22,587
CICADA?
>> YOU TAKE THE WINGS OFF, YOU
SASAUTEÉ THEM --
651
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,088
>> YOU TAKE THE WINGS OFF, YOU
SASAUTEÉ THEM --
>> BEING THE GOOD SON I AM, I
652
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,656
SASAUTEÉ THEM --
>> BEING THE GOOD SON I AM, I
WASN'T GOING TO LET MOM LEAVE
653
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,891
>> BEING THE GOOD SON I AM, I
WASN'T GOING TO LET MOM LEAVE
THE MUSEUM WITHOUT TOUCHING A
654
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:27,458
WASN'T GOING TO LET MOM LEAVE
THE MUSEUM WITHOUT TOUCHING A
FEW BUGS.
655
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:32,530
THE MUSEUM WITHOUT TOUCHING A
FEW BUGS.
FIRST UP A GIANT MILLIPEDE.
656
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:32,997
FEW BUGS.
FIRST UP A GIANT MILLIPEDE.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
657
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,732
FIRST UP A GIANT MILLIPEDE.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
658
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:42,240
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
SO THESE ARE MILLIPEDES
659
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:42,506
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
SO THESE ARE MILLIPEDES
MIROPODS.
660
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:43,741
SO THESE ARE MILLIPEDES
MIROPODS.
WANT TO FEEL IT?
661
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,876
MIROPODS.
WANT TO FEEL IT?
IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE A WHISPER.
662
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,712
WANT TO FEEL IT?
IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE A WHISPER.
THESE CANNOT HURT YOU.
663
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:48,212
IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE A WHISPER.
THESE CANNOT HURT YOU.
THEY CANNOT BITE.
664
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:52,516
THESE CANNOT HURT YOU.
THEY CANNOT BITE.
THEY CANNOT HURT YOU.
665
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:53,251
THEY CANNOT BITE.
THEY CANNOT HURT YOU.
( SNORTING )
666
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:53,851
THEY CANNOT HURT YOU.
( SNORTING )
>> THERE YOU GO.
667
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:54,252
( SNORTING )
>> THERE YOU GO.
YOU GOT IT.
668
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,921
>> THERE YOU GO.
YOU GOT IT.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
669
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:57,188
YOU GOT IT.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
>> AAAHHH!
670
00:20:57,190 --> 00:21:00,524
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
>> AAAHHH!
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
671
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:04,495
>> AAAHHH!
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
IT'S GOOD.
672
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:11,836
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
IT'S GOOD.
(SCREAMS )
673
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,537
IT'S GOOD.
(SCREAMS )
>> ( BLEEP ), ( BLEEP ).
674
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:13,904
(SCREAMS )
>> ( BLEEP ), ( BLEEP ).
DON'T WORRY.
675
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,539
>> ( BLEEP ), ( BLEEP ).
DON'T WORRY.
YOU DID IT.
676
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:16,907
DON'T WORRY.
YOU DID IT.
>> THOSE LITTLE LEGS CLING TO
677
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:17,108
YOU DID IT.
>> THOSE LITTLE LEGS CLING TO
YOU.
678
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:17,341
>> THOSE LITTLE LEGS CLING TO
YOU.
>> YEAH.
679
00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:19,310
YOU.
>> YEAH.
NOW THE MAIN EVENT, THE BUG
680
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:23,648
>> YEAH.
NOW THE MAIN EVENT, THE BUG
MY MOM FEARS THE MOST, THE
681
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,248
NOW THE MAIN EVENT, THE BUG
MY MOM FEARS THE MOST, THE
MADAGASCAR MISSING COCKROACH.
682
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,082
MY MOM FEARS THE MOST, THE
MADAGASCAR MISSING COCKROACH.
>> HOW ARE WE FEELING?
683
00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:27,518
MADAGASCAR MISSING COCKROACH.
>> HOW ARE WE FEELING?
DO YOU WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN
684
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,987
>> HOW ARE WE FEELING?
DO YOU WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN
MAKE THE HISSING NOISE?
685
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:30,821
DO YOU WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN
MAKE THE HISSING NOISE?
FIVE SECONDS?
686
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,291
MAKE THE HISSING NOISE?
FIVE SECONDS?
>> FIVE SECONDS AND 100 BUCKS.
687
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,092
FIVE SECONDS?
>> FIVE SECONDS AND 100 BUCKS.
100 BUCKS!
688
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:41,632
>> FIVE SECONDS AND 100 BUCKS.
100 BUCKS!
I'M GETTING PAID REGARDLESS,
689
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:41,899
100 BUCKS!
I'M GETTING PAID REGARDLESS,
BITCH.
690
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,100
I'M GETTING PAID REGARDLESS,
BITCH.
>> YOU'RE GOOD.
691
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,001
BITCH.
>> YOU'RE GOOD.
YOU'RE TOTALLY GOOD.
692
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,536
>> YOU'RE GOOD.
YOU'RE TOTALLY GOOD.
IT WON'T HURT YOU.
693
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:46,037
YOU'RE TOTALLY GOOD.
IT WON'T HURT YOU.
THERE YOU GO.
694
00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:51,342
IT WON'T HURT YOU.
THERE YOU GO.
YOU'RE DOING IT, YOU'RE DOING IT
695
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:53,411
THERE YOU GO.
YOU'RE DOING IT, YOU'RE DOING IT
( MAKING HYSTERICAL SOUNDS )
696
00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:55,946
YOU'RE DOING IT, YOU'RE DOING IT
( MAKING HYSTERICAL SOUNDS )
>> YOU GOT IT!
697
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:58,649
( MAKING HYSTERICAL SOUNDS )
>> YOU GOT IT!
EAH, YEAH, YEAH!
698
00:21:58,651 --> 00:21:59,050
>> YOU GOT IT!
EAH, YEAH, YEAH!
AAAHHH!
699
00:21:59,052 --> 00:22:03,688
EAH, YEAH, YEAH!
AAAHHH!
IT'S STILL FREAKING ME OUT!
700
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:05,423
AAAHHH!
IT'S STILL FREAKING ME OUT!
>> AN ENTOMOLOGIST FOR A DAY.
701
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:07,792
IT'S STILL FREAKING ME OUT!
>> AN ENTOMOLOGIST FOR A DAY.
YOU'RE LIVING IT, YOU'RE DOING
702
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:07,958
>> AN ENTOMOLOGIST FOR A DAY.
YOU'RE LIVING IT, YOU'RE DOING
IT.
703
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:08,225
YOU'RE LIVING IT, YOU'RE DOING
IT.
>> AAAHHH!
704
00:22:08,227 --> 00:22:11,662
IT.
>> AAAHHH!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
705
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:11,862
>> AAAHHH!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
OKAY.
706
00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:13,064
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
OKAY.
>> TELL ME WHEN IT GETS TOO
707
00:22:13,066 --> 00:22:19,970
OKAY.
>> TELL ME WHEN IT GETS TOO
CLOSE, WHEN IT'S GO TIME.
708
00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:21,138
>> TELL ME WHEN IT GETS TOO
CLOSE, WHEN IT'S GO TIME.
>> WELL, IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO
709
00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:21,639
CLOSE, WHEN IT'S GO TIME.
>> WELL, IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO
YOU TODAY.
710
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,307
>> WELL, IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO
YOU TODAY.
>> Announcer: I'M SO GLAD YOU
711
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:26,944
YOU TODAY.
>> Announcer: I'M SO GLAD YOU
LOVE INSECTS AS MUCH AS I DO.
712
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:28,479
>> Announcer: I'M SO GLAD YOU
LOVE INSECTS AS MUCH AS I DO.
>> A LITTLE BIT.
713
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:29,780
LOVE INSECTS AS MUCH AS I DO.
>> A LITTLE BIT.
>> Announcer: YOU'RE ON THE
714
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:31,315
>> A LITTLE BIT.
>> Announcer: YOU'RE ON THE
JOURNEY TO IT.
715
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:31,982
>> Announcer: YOU'RE ON THE
JOURNEY TO IT.
>> IT'S GOING TO GROW.
716
00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:35,820
JOURNEY TO IT.
>> IT'S GOING TO GROW.
THE LOVE WILL GROW.
717
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:36,554
>> IT'S GOING TO GROW.
THE LOVE WILL GROW.
( LAUGHTER )
718
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:38,622
THE LOVE WILL GROW.
( LAUGHTER )
HI, THIS IS BOOTSIE, I'M HERE
719
00:22:38,624 --> 00:22:40,024
( LAUGHTER )
HI, THIS IS BOOTSIE, I'M HERE
WITH "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN
720
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:40,424
HI, THIS IS BOOTSIE, I'M HERE
WITH "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN
COLBERT.
721
00:22:40,426 --> 00:22:41,726
WITH "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN
COLBERT.
I LEARNED SO MUCH TODAY ABOUT IS
722
00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:45,529
COLBERT.
I LEARNED SO MUCH TODAY ABOUT IS
CICADAs, SO INTERESTING.
723
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,732
I LEARNED SO MUCH TODAY ABOUT IS
CICADAs, SO INTERESTING.
I ALSO HELD A HISSING COCKROACH.
724
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:48,999
CICADAs, SO INTERESTING.
I ALSO HELD A HISSING COCKROACH.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ME BECAUSE I
725
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:51,335
I ALSO HELD A HISSING COCKROACH.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ME BECAUSE I
NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THAT!
726
00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:54,171
CONGRATULATIONS TO ME BECAUSE I
NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THAT!
AND IT WAS -- I STILL DON'T LIKE
727
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:54,438
NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THAT!
AND IT WAS -- I STILL DON'T LIKE
BUGS.
728
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:54,638
AND IT WAS -- I STILL DON'T LIKE
BUGS.
OKAY.
729
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:55,940
BUGS.
OKAY.
BYE.
730
00:22:55,942 --> 00:23:01,712
OKAY.
BYE.
♪♪♪
731
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:02,346
BYE.
♪♪♪
>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU TO BOOTSIE
732
00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:03,647
♪♪♪
>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU TO BOOTSIE
AND THANK YOU TO DR. JESSICA
733
00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:04,482
>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU TO BOOTSIE
AND THANK YOU TO DR. JESSICA
WARE AND THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL
734
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:05,783
AND THANK YOU TO DR. JESSICA
WARE AND THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL
HISTORY.
735
00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:07,952
WARE AND THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL
HISTORY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRIS
736
00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:10,354
HISTORY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRIS
MATTHEWS.
737
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:12,490
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRIS
MATTHEWS.
♪♪♪
738
00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:28,472
♪♪♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
739
00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:29,106
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
JOINING ME NOW IS A BEST-SELLING
740
00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:29,740
EVERYBODY.
JOINING ME NOW IS A BEST-SELLING
AUTHOR AND JOURNALIST WHO HOSTED
741
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:30,307
JOINING ME NOW IS A BEST-SELLING
AUTHOR AND JOURNALIST WHO HOSTED
"HARDBALL" FOR MORE THAN 20
742
00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:33,310
AUTHOR AND JOURNALIST WHO HOSTED
"HARDBALL" FOR MORE THAN 20
YEARS.
743
00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:33,844
"HARDBALL" FOR MORE THAN 20
YEARS.
HE'S JUST WRITTEN A MEMOIR
744
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:34,478
YEARS.
HE'S JUST WRITTEN A MEMOIR
CALLED "THIS COUNTRY" ABOUT HIS
745
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,913
HE'S JUST WRITTEN A MEMOIR
CALLED "THIS COUNTRY" ABOUT HIS
LIFE IN POLITICS AND HISTORY.
746
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:36,547
CALLED "THIS COUNTRY" ABOUT HIS
LIFE IN POLITICS AND HISTORY.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"
747
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:41,952
LIFE IN POLITICS AND HISTORY.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"
CHRIS MATTHEWS.
748
00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:44,789
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"
CHRIS MATTHEWS.
CHRIS, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
749
00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:45,222
CHRIS MATTHEWS.
CHRIS, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
750
00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:46,857
CHRIS, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: THE LAST TIME --
751
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:49,393
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: THE LAST TIME --
WELL, WE'VE TALKED MTSZ OVER THE
752
00:23:49,395 --> 00:23:49,693
>> Stephen: THE LAST TIME --
WELL, WE'VE TALKED MTSZ OVER THE
YEARS.
753
00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:50,961
WELL, WE'VE TALKED MTSZ OVER THE
YEARS.
I'LL GET TO THE LAST TIME WE
754
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:51,762
YEARS.
I'LL GET TO THE LAST TIME WE
SPOKE IN JUST A MOMENT.
755
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,931
I'LL GET TO THE LAST TIME WE
SPOKE IN JUST A MOMENT.
ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKE
756
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,633
SPOKE IN JUST A MOMENT.
ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKE
TALKING TO YOU OTHER THAN THE
757
00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:57,134
ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKE
TALKING TO YOU OTHER THAN THE
FACT YOU'RE A HOST AND YOU
758
00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:58,636
TALKING TO YOU OTHER THAN THE
FACT YOU'RE A HOST AND YOU
REALLY EAT UP THE TIME, I DON'T
759
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:01,138
FACT YOU'RE A HOST AND YOU
REALLY EAT UP THE TIME, I DON'T
HAVE TO WORK WHEN YOU'RE ON,
760
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,807
REALLY EAT UP THE TIME, I DON'T
HAVE TO WORK WHEN YOU'RE ON,
IT'S LIKE A VACATION, BUT YOU'VE
761
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,775
HAVE TO WORK WHEN YOU'RE ON,
IT'S LIKE A VACATION, BUT YOU'VE
SEEN SO MUCH IN WASHINGTON,
762
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:05,643
IT'S LIKE A VACATION, BUT YOU'VE
SEEN SO MUCH IN WASHINGTON,
YOU'VE WORKED FOR TIP O'NEIL,
763
00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:07,411
SEEN SO MUCH IN WASHINGTON,
YOU'VE WORKED FOR TIP O'NEIL,
JIMMY CARTER, THE HOST OF
764
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:08,078
YOU'VE WORKED FOR TIP O'NEIL,
JIMMY CARTER, THE HOST OF
"HARDBALL" FOR YEARS, BUT WHAT
765
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,481
JIMMY CARTER, THE HOST OF
"HARDBALL" FOR YEARS, BUT WHAT
WAS YOUR FIRST WASHINGTON JOB?
766
00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:12,483
"HARDBALL" FOR YEARS, BUT WHAT
WAS YOUR FIRST WASHINGTON JOB?
>> I WAS A CAPITOL POLICEMAN,
767
00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:13,751
WAS YOUR FIRST WASHINGTON JOB?
>> I WAS A CAPITOL POLICEMAN,
APPOINTED BY THE U.S. SENATOR
768
00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:16,787
>> I WAS A CAPITOL POLICEMAN,
APPOINTED BY THE U.S. SENATOR
UNDER THE OLD PAY TROJAGE
769
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,189
APPOINTED BY THE U.S. SENATOR
UNDER THE OLD PAY TROJAGE
SYSTEM, AND I LOVED IT, I WORKED
770
00:24:18,191 --> 00:24:20,191
UNDER THE OLD PAY TROJAGE
SYSTEM, AND I LOVED IT, I WORKED
IN THE OFFICE OF THE SENATOR IN
771
00:24:20,193 --> 00:24:23,360
SYSTEM, AND I LOVED IT, I WORKED
IN THE OFFICE OF THE SENATOR IN
THE MORNING TILL 3:00, WENT ON
772
00:24:23,362 --> 00:24:26,297
IN THE OFFICE OF THE SENATOR IN
THE MORNING TILL 3:00, WENT ON
THE SECOND SHIFT FROM 3:00 TO
773
00:24:26,299 --> 00:24:26,497
THE MORNING TILL 3:00, WENT ON
THE SECOND SHIFT FROM 3:00 TO
11:00.
774
00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:28,165
THE SECOND SHIFT FROM 3:00 TO
11:00.
I WAS DOING THREE JOBS.
775
00:24:28,167 --> 00:24:29,633
11:00.
I WAS DOING THREE JOBS.
I LOVED PUTTING ON MY UNIFORM
776
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:31,035
I WAS DOING THREE JOBS.
I LOVED PUTTING ON MY UNIFORM
AND GUN AND DOING MY JOB.
777
00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:32,303
I LOVED PUTTING ON MY UNIFORM
AND GUN AND DOING MY JOB.
I LOVED THE GUYS I WORKED WITH.
778
00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:36,006
AND GUN AND DOING MY JOB.
I LOVED THE GUYS I WORKED WITH.
>> Stephen: AS SOMEONE WHO HAD
779
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:38,509
I LOVED THE GUYS I WORKED WITH.
>> Stephen: AS SOMEONE WHO HAD
THAT AS THE FIRST EXPERIENCE IN
780
00:24:38,511 --> 00:24:39,109
>> Stephen: AS SOMEONE WHO HAD
THAT AS THE FIRST EXPERIENCE IN
WASHINGTON, D.C., WHAT WAS IT
781
00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:40,611
THAT AS THE FIRST EXPERIENCE IN
WASHINGTON, D.C., WHAT WAS IT
LIKE PERSONALLY FOR YOU TO WATCH
782
00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:42,179
WASHINGTON, D.C., WHAT WAS IT
LIKE PERSONALLY FOR YOU TO WATCH
THE HORRIFIC EVENTS OF
783
00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:43,414
LIKE PERSONALLY FOR YOU TO WATCH
THE HORRIFIC EVENTS OF
JANUARY 6, HOW DID THAT HIT HOME
784
00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:44,782
THE HORRIFIC EVENTS OF
JANUARY 6, HOW DID THAT HIT HOME
FOR YOU?
785
00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:46,851
JANUARY 6, HOW DID THAT HIT HOME
FOR YOU?
>> IT'S LIKE SEEING YOUR CHURCH
786
00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:47,084
FOR YOU?
>> IT'S LIKE SEEING YOUR CHURCH
INVADED.
787
00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:49,386
>> IT'S LIKE SEEING YOUR CHURCH
INVADED.
IT WAS LIKE BEING DEFILED,
788
00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:50,087
INVADED.
IT WAS LIKE BEING DEFILED,
EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVED IN.
789
00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:53,090
IT WAS LIKE BEING DEFILED,
EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVED IN.
I USED TO LOVE -- I DO LOVE THAT
790
00:24:53,092 --> 00:24:53,657
EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVED IN.
I USED TO LOVE -- I DO LOVE THAT
BUILDING.
791
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:54,625
I USED TO LOVE -- I DO LOVE THAT
BUILDING.
WHATEVER JOB I WAS, WHETHER TOP
792
00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:57,361
BUILDING.
WHATEVER JOB I WAS, WHETHER TOP
AIDE TO THE SPEAKER OR I WAS A
793
00:24:57,363 --> 00:24:59,396
WHATEVER JOB I WAS, WHETHER TOP
AIDE TO THE SPEAKER OR I WAS A
COP, I WOULD TAKE PEOPLE TO
794
00:24:59,398 --> 00:25:00,631
AIDE TO THE SPEAKER OR I WAS A
COP, I WOULD TAKE PEOPLE TO
PLACES LIKE THE BRITISH STAIRS,
795
00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:03,601
COP, I WOULD TAKE PEOPLE TO
PLACES LIKE THE BRITISH STAIRS,
THE STAIRS COMING UP TOWARD THE
796
00:25:03,603 --> 00:25:04,401
PLACES LIKE THE BRITISH STAIRS,
THE STAIRS COMING UP TOWARD THE
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES MET,
797
00:25:04,403 --> 00:25:05,936
THE STAIRS COMING UP TOWARD THE
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES MET,
AND THERE ARE BULLET HOLES IN
798
00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:07,771
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES MET,
AND THERE ARE BULLET HOLES IN
THE CEILING STILL, AND I SAID
799
00:25:07,773 --> 00:25:10,908
AND THERE ARE BULLET HOLES IN
THE CEILING STILL, AND I SAID
LOOK AT THE BULLET HOLES, THE
800
00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,576
THE CEILING STILL, AND I SAID
LOOK AT THE BULLET HOLES, THE
BRITISH CAME IN HERE AN BURNED
801
00:25:12,578 --> 00:25:14,478
LOOK AT THE BULLET HOLES, THE
BRITISH CAME IN HERE AN BURNED
THE PLACE IN 1912.
802
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,182
BRITISH CAME IN HERE AN BURNED
THE PLACE IN 1912.
I WOULD SIT ALONE AT NIGHT IN
803
00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:20,184
THE PLACE IN 1912.
I WOULD SIT ALONE AT NIGHT IN
THE ROTUNDA WHERE THE PAINTINGS
804
00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:23,821
I WOULD SIT ALONE AT NIGHT IN
THE ROTUNDA WHERE THE PAINTINGS
ARE AND I WOULD THINK OF JOHN F.
805
00:25:23,823 --> 00:25:25,723
THE ROTUNDA WHERE THE PAINTINGS
ARE AND I WOULD THINK OF JOHN F.
KENNEDY LAID OUT AFTER HE WAS
806
00:25:25,725 --> 00:25:26,490
ARE AND I WOULD THINK OF JOHN F.
KENNEDY LAID OUT AFTER HE WAS
ASSASSINATED, I WOULD IMAGINE
807
00:25:26,492 --> 00:25:28,592
KENNEDY LAID OUT AFTER HE WAS
ASSASSINATED, I WOULD IMAGINE
HIM THERE.
808
00:25:28,594 --> 00:25:30,327
ASSASSINATED, I WOULD IMAGINE
HIM THERE.
I WOULD THINK OF LINCOLN GIVING
809
00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:32,630
HIM THERE.
I WOULD THINK OF LINCOLN GIVING
THE SECOND INAUGURAL ADDRESS
810
00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,532
I WOULD THINK OF LINCOLN GIVING
THE SECOND INAUGURAL ADDRESS
THERE, TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE
811
00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:36,567
THE SECOND INAUGURAL ADDRESS
THERE, TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE
CIVIL WAR WHEN WE LOST 600,000
812
00:25:36,569 --> 00:25:38,502
THERE, TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE
CIVIL WAR WHEN WE LOST 600,000
MEN AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT
813
00:25:38,504 --> 00:25:39,770
CIVIL WAR WHEN WE LOST 600,000
MEN AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT
ASPENNENS FOR SLAVERY, AND HE
814
00:25:39,772 --> 00:25:41,805
MEN AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT
ASPENNENS FOR SLAVERY, AND HE
DID THAT THERE.
815
00:25:41,807 --> 00:25:44,041
ASPENNENS FOR SLAVERY, AND HE
DID THAT THERE.
AND F.M. D.R. GAVE HIS "WE HAVE
816
00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:47,978
DID THAT THERE.
AND F.M. D.R. GAVE HIS "WE HAVE
NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF"
817
00:25:47,980 --> 00:25:48,212
AND F.M. D.R. GAVE HIS "WE HAVE
NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF"
THERE.
818
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,414
NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF"
THERE.
MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS
819
00:25:50,416 --> 00:25:52,783
THERE.
MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS
IN 1964 IN THAT BUILDING.
820
00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:54,418
MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS
IN 1964 IN THAT BUILDING.
SO MUCH HISTORY.
821
00:25:54,420 --> 00:25:56,086
IN 1964 IN THAT BUILDING.
SO MUCH HISTORY.
IT'S A CATHEDRAL TO DEMOCRACY.
822
00:25:56,088 --> 00:25:58,522
SO MUCH HISTORY.
IT'S A CATHEDRAL TO DEMOCRACY.
THE 9/11 JOBS TRIED TO BLOW IT
823
00:25:58,524 --> 00:25:58,689
IT'S A CATHEDRAL TO DEMOCRACY.
THE 9/11 JOBS TRIED TO BLOW IT
UP.
824
00:25:58,691 --> 00:25:59,690
THE 9/11 JOBS TRIED TO BLOW IT
UP.
THEY WERE STOPPED IN
825
00:25:59,692 --> 00:26:02,393
UP.
THEY WERE STOPPED IN
PENNSYLVANIA BY THE COURAGEOUS
826
00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:02,693
THEY WERE STOPPED IN
PENNSYLVANIA BY THE COURAGEOUS
PASSENGERS.
827
00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:04,128
PENNSYLVANIA BY THE COURAGEOUS
PASSENGERS.
ONE OF THE COPS I WORKED WITH
828
00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:05,729
PASSENGERS.
ONE OF THE COPS I WORKED WITH
SAID I WOULD DIE FOR THIS
829
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:05,996
ONE OF THE COPS I WORKED WITH
SAID I WOULD DIE FOR THIS
BUILDING.
830
00:26:05,998 --> 00:26:08,098
SAID I WOULD DIE FOR THIS
BUILDING.
SO I WAS SO PROUD WHEN I GOT TO
831
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:09,934
BUILDING.
SO I WAS SO PROUD WHEN I GOT TO
SEE THE GOOD PICTURES OF THESE
832
00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:12,202
SO I WAS SO PROUD WHEN I GOT TO
SEE THE GOOD PICTURES OF THESE
GUYS, MOSTLY MEN, ESPECIALLY THE
833
00:26:12,204 --> 00:26:13,103
SEE THE GOOD PICTURES OF THESE
GUYS, MOSTLY MEN, ESPECIALLY THE
AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUY IN THE
834
00:26:13,105 --> 00:26:14,505
GUYS, MOSTLY MEN, ESPECIALLY THE
AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUY IN THE
PICTURE LEADING THEM IN THE
835
00:26:14,507 --> 00:26:15,973
AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUY IN THE
PICTURE LEADING THEM IN THE
WRONG DIRECTION, REMEMBER, UP
836
00:26:15,975 --> 00:26:17,474
PICTURE LEADING THEM IN THE
WRONG DIRECTION, REMEMBER, UP
THE STAIRS?
837
00:26:17,476 --> 00:26:19,076
WRONG DIRECTION, REMEMBER, UP
THE STAIRS?
>> Stephen: OFFICER GOODMAN.
838
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,512
THE STAIRS?
>> Stephen: OFFICER GOODMAN.
HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY REAL
839
00:26:21,514 --> 00:26:22,212
>> Stephen: OFFICER GOODMAN.
HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY REAL
WEAPON, HE COULDN'T USE HIS
840
00:26:22,214 --> 00:26:23,981
HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY REAL
WEAPON, HE COULDN'T USE HIS
REVOLVER IN THAT SITUATION, JUST
841
00:26:23,983 --> 00:26:26,083
WEAPON, HE COULDN'T USE HIS
REVOLVER IN THAT SITUATION, JUST
SO HE COULD PROTECT SENATOR
842
00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:27,818
REVOLVER IN THAT SITUATION, JUST
SO HE COULD PROTECT SENATOR
ROMNEY FROM UTAH GETTING KILLED
843
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:28,018
SO HE COULD PROTECT SENATOR
ROMNEY FROM UTAH GETTING KILLED
MAYBE.
844
00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:29,987
ROMNEY FROM UTAH GETTING KILLED
MAYBE.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MAKE
845
00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:31,121
MAYBE.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MAKE
OF PEOPLE WHO WERE TRYING TO
846
00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,023
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MAKE
OF PEOPLE WHO WERE TRYING TO
SELL THIS OFF WHO SAY IT WAS NO
847
00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:34,925
OF PEOPLE WHO WERE TRYING TO
SELL THIS OFF WHO SAY IT WAS NO
WORSE THAN TOURISTS IN THE
848
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:39,697
SELL THIS OFF WHO SAY IT WAS NO
WORSE THAN TOURISTS IN THE
ROTUNDA OR THE STATUARY HALL OR
849
00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:41,065
WORSE THAN TOURISTS IN THE
ROTUNDA OR THE STATUARY HALL OR
SAYING IT WASN'T REALLY AN
850
00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:41,999
ROTUNDA OR THE STATUARY HALL OR
SAYING IT WASN'T REALLY AN
INSURRECTION, TRYING TO DOWNPLAY
851
00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:44,735
SAYING IT WASN'T REALLY AN
INSURRECTION, TRYING TO DOWNPLAY
IT BECAUSE THE REPS KNOW THE
852
00:26:44,737 --> 00:26:45,636
INSURRECTION, TRYING TO DOWNPLAY
IT BECAUSE THE REPS KNOW THE
DEMOCRATS WILL POINT AT IT AND
853
00:26:45,638 --> 00:26:47,404
IT BECAUSE THE REPS KNOW THE
DEMOCRATS WILL POINT AT IT AND
SAY YOU CAN'T TRUST THESE
854
00:26:47,406 --> 00:26:47,905
DEMOCRATS WILL POINT AT IT AND
SAY YOU CAN'T TRUST THESE
PEOPLE?
855
00:26:47,907 --> 00:26:49,506
SAY YOU CAN'T TRUST THESE
PEOPLE?
>> WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE SAID IF
856
00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,141
PEOPLE?
>> WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE SAID IF
THEY HAD CAPTURED THAT CROWD,
857
00:26:51,143 --> 00:26:54,445
>> WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE SAID IF
THEY HAD CAPTURED THAT CROWD,
THE MOB, HAD CAPTURED THE
858
00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:55,546
THEY HAD CAPTURED THAT CROWD,
THE MOB, HAD CAPTURED THE
VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
859
00:26:55,548 --> 00:26:58,282
THE MOB, HAD CAPTURED THE
VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES AND GOD KNOWS WHAT DO TO
860
00:26:58,284 --> 00:26:58,449
VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES AND GOD KNOWS WHAT DO TO
HIM.
861
00:26:58,451 --> 00:27:00,084
STATES AND GOD KNOWS WHAT DO TO
HIM.
THEY WERE AFTER EVERY MEMBER OF
862
00:27:00,086 --> 00:27:00,351
HIM.
THEY WERE AFTER EVERY MEMBER OF
CONGRESS.
863
00:27:00,353 --> 00:27:01,518
THEY WERE AFTER EVERY MEMBER OF
CONGRESS.
THEY WERE OUT FOR BLOOD AND
864
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:01,986
CONGRESS.
THEY WERE OUT FOR BLOOD AND
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
865
00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:04,188
THEY WERE OUT FOR BLOOD AND
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
THEY WERE PROTECTED BY THEIR
866
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,856
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
THEY WERE PROTECTED BY THEIR
STAFFS AND THE POLICE.
867
00:27:05,858 --> 00:27:07,291
THEY WERE PROTECTED BY THEIR
STAFFS AND THE POLICE.
THAT'S WHAT SAVED THEIR LIVES.
868
00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:13,497
STAFFS AND THE POLICE.
THAT'S WHAT SAVED THEIR LIVES.
NOT THE CAUSE OF TRUMPISM.
869
00:27:13,499 --> 00:27:17,668
THAT'S WHAT SAVED THEIR LIVES.
NOT THE CAUSE OF TRUMPISM.
TRUMP WAS ON A MARCH.
870
00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:20,304
NOT THE CAUSE OF TRUMPISM.
TRUMP WAS ON A MARCH.
THE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS,
871
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,506
TRUMP WAS ON A MARCH.
THE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS,
DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN SWORE
872
00:27:22,508 --> 00:27:24,174
THE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS,
DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN SWORE
AN OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION.
873
00:27:24,176 --> 00:27:25,075
DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN SWORE
AN OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION.
GENERAL MICHAEL FLYNN TOOK AN
874
00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:27,244
AN OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION.
GENERAL MICHAEL FLYNN TOOK AN
OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION, NOT
875
00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:28,078
GENERAL MICHAEL FLYNN TOOK AN
OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION, NOT
DONALD TRUMP.
876
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,881
OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION, NOT
DONALD TRUMP.
THEY HAVE TO BE REMINDED THEY'RE
877
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:31,281
DONALD TRUMP.
THEY HAVE TO BE REMINDED THEY'RE
OWED SOMETIMES.
878
00:27:31,283 --> 00:27:33,617
THEY HAVE TO BE REMINDED THEY'RE
OWED SOMETIMES.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE WRITTEN A
879
00:27:33,619 --> 00:27:34,918
OWED SOMETIMES.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE WRITTEN A
NEW BOOK, AS I SAID BEFORE,
880
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,755
>> Stephen: YOU'VE WRITTEN A
NEW BOOK, AS I SAID BEFORE,
"THIS COUNTRY," ABOUT THE
881
00:27:37,757 --> 00:27:39,156
NEW BOOK, AS I SAID BEFORE,
"THIS COUNTRY," ABOUT THE
HISTORICAL EVENTS YOU LIVED
882
00:27:39,158 --> 00:27:39,390
"THIS COUNTRY," ABOUT THE
HISTORICAL EVENTS YOU LIVED
THROUGH.
883
00:27:39,392 --> 00:27:40,591
HISTORICAL EVENTS YOU LIVED
THROUGH.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE THE CURRENT
884
00:27:40,593 --> 00:27:41,959
THROUGH.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE THE CURRENT
MOMENT THE UNITED STATES IS
885
00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:43,827
WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE THE CURRENT
MOMENT THE UNITED STATES IS
GOING THROUGH, WHAT PERIODS OF
886
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,029
MOMENT THE UNITED STATES IS
GOING THROUGH, WHAT PERIODS OF
LEADERSHIP AND HISTORY IN THE
887
00:27:45,031 --> 00:27:46,463
GOING THROUGH, WHAT PERIODS OF
LEADERSHIP AND HISTORY IN THE
WORLD COME TO MIND FOR YOU?
888
00:27:46,465 --> 00:27:48,465
LEADERSHIP AND HISTORY IN THE
WORLD COME TO MIND FOR YOU?
>> WELL, STEVE, YOU KNOW, I WAS
889
00:27:48,467 --> 00:27:49,667
WORLD COME TO MIND FOR YOU?
>> WELL, STEVE, YOU KNOW, I WAS
LUCKY IN MY LIFE TO BE AT THE
890
00:27:49,669 --> 00:27:52,436
>> WELL, STEVE, YOU KNOW, I WAS
LUCKY IN MY LIFE TO BE AT THE
CENTER OF THE ACTION SO MUCH,
891
00:27:52,438 --> 00:27:52,736
LUCKY IN MY LIFE TO BE AT THE
CENTER OF THE ACTION SO MUCH,
THE FIGHTS.
892
00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:55,639
CENTER OF THE ACTION SO MUCH,
THE FIGHTS.
I MEAN, I WAS ON THE HELICOPTER
893
00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:59,743
THE FIGHTS.
I MEAN, I WAS ON THE HELICOPTER
WHEN JIMMY CARTER WAS GOING DOWN
894
00:27:59,745 --> 00:28:01,945
I MEAN, I WAS ON THE HELICOPTER
WHEN JIMMY CARTER WAS GOING DOWN
TO DEFEAT THAT MORNING.
895
00:28:01,947 --> 00:28:04,314
WHEN JIMMY CARTER WAS GOING DOWN
TO DEFEAT THAT MORNING.
HE LOST THE ELECTION BY 10
896
00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:04,548
TO DEFEAT THAT MORNING.
HE LOST THE ELECTION BY 10
POINTS.
897
00:28:04,550 --> 00:28:08,419
HE LOST THE ELECTION BY 10
POINTS.
I WAS WITH TIP O'NEIL EVERY
898
00:28:08,421 --> 00:28:08,986
POINTS.
I WAS WITH TIP O'NEIL EVERY
MORNING, THE GREAT SPEECH.
899
00:28:08,988 --> 00:28:11,121
I WAS WITH TIP O'NEIL EVERY
MORNING, THE GREAT SPEECH.
I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL ON THE
900
00:28:11,123 --> 00:28:12,656
MORNING, THE GREAT SPEECH.
I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL ON THE
COMMUNIST SIDE WHEN THE WALL
901
00:28:12,658 --> 00:28:14,458
I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL ON THE
COMMUNIST SIDE WHEN THE WALL
OPENED UP AND I INTERVIEWED
902
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:14,925
COMMUNIST SIDE WHEN THE WALL
OPENED UP AND I INTERVIEWED
PEOPLE.
903
00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:16,393
OPENED UP AND I INTERVIEWED
PEOPLE.
I'LL NEVER FORGET INTERVIEWING A
904
00:28:16,395 --> 00:28:18,829
PEOPLE.
I'LL NEVER FORGET INTERVIEWING A
YOUNG GUY IN HIS 20s, LOOKED
905
00:28:18,831 --> 00:28:20,698
I'LL NEVER FORGET INTERVIEWING A
YOUNG GUY IN HIS 20s, LOOKED
LIKE HE WAS AT BERKELEY IN THE
906
00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:22,399
YOUNG GUY IN HIS 20s, LOOKED
LIKE HE WAS AT BERKELEY IN THE
'60s.
907
00:28:22,401 --> 00:28:23,734
LIKE HE WAS AT BERKELEY IN THE
'60s.
I SAID, WHAT DOES FREEDOM MEAN
908
00:28:23,736 --> 00:28:26,637
'60s.
I SAID, WHAT DOES FREEDOM MEAN
TO YOU TODAY, THE WALL COMING
909
00:28:26,639 --> 00:28:26,904
I SAID, WHAT DOES FREEDOM MEAN
TO YOU TODAY, THE WALL COMING
DOWN?
910
00:28:26,906 --> 00:28:28,405
TO YOU TODAY, THE WALL COMING
DOWN?
HE SAID TALKING TO YOU, BECAUSE
911
00:28:28,407 --> 00:28:29,973
DOWN?
HE SAID TALKING TO YOU, BECAUSE
IT WAS A COUNTRY THAT WAS NOT
912
00:28:29,975 --> 00:28:31,608
HE SAID TALKING TO YOU, BECAUSE
IT WAS A COUNTRY THAT WAS NOT
FREE AND THEY COULDN'T TALK TO
913
00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:31,975
IT WAS A COUNTRY THAT WAS NOT
FREE AND THEY COULDN'T TALK TO
PEOPLE LIKE ME.
914
00:28:31,977 --> 00:28:36,013
FREE AND THEY COULDN'T TALK TO
PEOPLE LIKE ME.
I WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA WHEN
915
00:28:36,015 --> 00:28:37,681
PEOPLE LIKE ME.
I WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA WHEN
NELSON MANDELA, ONE OF THE
916
00:28:37,683 --> 00:28:39,683
I WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA WHEN
NELSON MANDELA, ONE OF THE
GREATEST PEOPLE OF OUR TIME,
917
00:28:39,685 --> 00:28:40,651
NELSON MANDELA, ONE OF THE
GREATEST PEOPLE OF OUR TIME,
ENCOURAGED THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH
918
00:28:40,653 --> 00:28:41,285
GREATEST PEOPLE OF OUR TIME,
ENCOURAGED THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH
AFRICA TO VOTE.
919
00:28:41,287 --> 00:28:44,621
ENCOURAGED THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH
AFRICA TO VOTE.
HE SAID WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO
920
00:28:44,623 --> 00:28:46,356
AFRICA TO VOTE.
HE SAID WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO
THIS THROUGH A RESOLUTION --
921
00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:47,991
HE SAID WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO
THIS THROUGH A RESOLUTION --
>> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE A
922
00:28:47,993 --> 00:28:51,995
THIS THROUGH A RESOLUTION --
>> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE A
PHOTO OF YOU AND DESMOND TUTU.
923
00:28:51,997 --> 00:28:53,764
>> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE A
PHOTO OF YOU AND DESMOND TUTU.
>> DESMOND TUTU TO MY LEFT AND A
924
00:28:53,766 --> 00:28:55,499
PHOTO OF YOU AND DESMOND TUTU.
>> DESMOND TUTU TO MY LEFT AND A
SOUTH AFRICAN CAMERAMAN.
925
00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:57,835
>> DESMOND TUTU TO MY LEFT AND A
SOUTH AFRICAN CAMERAMAN.
LOOK AT THE LINE ON THE BACK OF
926
00:28:57,837 --> 00:28:58,102
SOUTH AFRICAN CAMERAMAN.
LOOK AT THE LINE ON THE BACK OF
VOTERS.
927
00:28:58,104 --> 00:29:00,504
LOOK AT THE LINE ON THE BACK OF
VOTERS.
IT'S LIKE FROM HORIZON TO
928
00:29:00,506 --> 00:29:00,904
VOTERS.
IT'S LIKE FROM HORIZON TO
HORIZON.
929
00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:02,506
IT'S LIKE FROM HORIZON TO
HORIZON.
THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE ONE
930
00:29:02,508 --> 00:29:05,175
HORIZON.
THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE ONE
PERSON, NELSON MANDELA, SAID
931
00:29:05,177 --> 00:29:06,677
THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE ONE
PERSON, NELSON MANDELA, SAID
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ELECTION
932
00:29:06,679 --> 00:29:08,178
PERSON, NELSON MANDELA, SAID
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ELECTION
IN THIS COUNTRY, EVERYBODY GETS
933
00:29:08,180 --> 00:29:10,514
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ELECTION
IN THIS COUNTRY, EVERYBODY GETS
TO VOTE, AND I'M NOT COMING OUT
934
00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:12,249
IN THIS COUNTRY, EVERYBODY GETS
TO VOTE, AND I'M NOT COMING OUT
OF PRISON OUT OF 20 YEARS UNTIL
935
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:17,588
TO VOTE, AND I'M NOT COMING OUT
OF PRISON OUT OF 20 YEARS UNTIL
YOU LEGALIZE THE ANC AND THE
936
00:29:17,590 --> 00:29:19,757
OF PRISON OUT OF 20 YEARS UNTIL
YOU LEGALIZE THE ANC AND THE
COMMUNIST PARTY, HE WOULDN'T
937
00:29:19,759 --> 00:29:21,325
YOU LEGALIZE THE ANC AND THE
COMMUNIST PARTY, HE WOULDN'T
LEAVE PRISON SO HE COULD HAVE A
938
00:29:21,327 --> 00:29:22,192
COMMUNIST PARTY, HE WOULDN'T
LEAVE PRISON SO HE COULD HAVE A
REAL ELECTION.
939
00:29:22,194 --> 00:29:23,894
LEAVE PRISON SO HE COULD HAVE A
REAL ELECTION.
HE SAID WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT
940
00:29:23,896 --> 00:29:25,629
REAL ELECTION.
HE SAID WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT
WORK, THIS DEMOCRACY.
941
00:29:25,631 --> 00:29:27,498
HE SAID WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT
WORK, THIS DEMOCRACY.
I THINK OF THE PEOPLE WAITING IN
942
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:31,168
WORK, THIS DEMOCRACY.
I THINK OF THE PEOPLE WAITING IN
LINE IN AFRICA WITHOUT A CUP OF
943
00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:32,336
I THINK OF THE PEOPLE WAITING IN
LINE IN AFRICA WITHOUT A CUP OF
TEA, WATER, WITHOUT A PLACE TO
944
00:29:32,338 --> 00:29:34,371
LINE IN AFRICA WITHOUT A CUP OF
TEA, WATER, WITHOUT A PLACE TO
GO TO THE-BEDROOM AND I THINK OF
945
00:29:34,373 --> 00:29:37,007
TEA, WATER, WITHOUT A PLACE TO
GO TO THE-BEDROOM AND I THINK OF
THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T TAKE
946
00:29:37,009 --> 00:29:38,408
GO TO THE-BEDROOM AND I THINK OF
THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T TAKE
DEMOCRACY SERIOUSLY IN THIS
947
00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:38,642
THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T TAKE
DEMOCRACY SERIOUSLY IN THIS
COUNTRY.
948
00:29:38,644 --> 00:29:42,012
DEMOCRACY SERIOUSLY IN THIS
COUNTRY.
THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT.
949
00:29:42,014 --> 00:29:45,649
COUNTRY.
THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT.
WE'VE HAD AN ELECTION EVERY YEAR
950
00:29:45,651 --> 00:29:46,416
THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT.
WE'VE HAD AN ELECTION EVERY YEAR
SINCE 1788.
951
00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:48,018
WE'VE HAD AN ELECTION EVERY YEAR
SINCE 1788.
WE'RE THE FIRST REPUBLIC, AND
952
00:29:48,020 --> 00:29:48,919
SINCE 1788.
WE'RE THE FIRST REPUBLIC, AND
IT'S ALWAYS WORKED.
953
00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:51,221
WE'RE THE FIRST REPUBLIC, AND
IT'S ALWAYS WORKED.
BUT WE ALWAYS COUNTED ON PEOPLE
954
00:29:51,223 --> 00:29:53,090
IT'S ALWAYS WORKED.
BUT WE ALWAYS COUNTED ON PEOPLE
WHO LOST ELECTIONS, JUST LIKE
955
00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:54,792
BUT WE ALWAYS COUNTED ON PEOPLE
WHO LOST ELECTIONS, JUST LIKE
WHEN YOU PLAYED TAG AS A KID,
956
00:29:54,794 --> 00:29:56,960
WHO LOST ELECTIONS, JUST LIKE
WHEN YOU PLAYED TAG AS A KID,
YOU SAY I'M IT, I LOST, AND TO
957
00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:58,495
WHEN YOU PLAYED TAG AS A KID,
YOU SAY I'M IT, I LOST, AND TO
STAND BEFORE THEIR PEOPLE AND
958
00:29:58,497 --> 00:29:59,963
YOU SAY I'M IT, I LOST, AND TO
STAND BEFORE THEIR PEOPLE AND
LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND SAY I
959
00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:02,499
STAND BEFORE THEIR PEOPLE AND
LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND SAY I
LOST, THE OTHER PERSON WON, AND
960
00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:04,234
LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND SAY I
LOST, THE OTHER PERSON WON, AND
UNDER THAT SYSTEM, THAT PERSON'S
961
00:30:04,236 --> 00:30:05,169
LOST, THE OTHER PERSON WON, AND
UNDER THAT SYSTEM, THAT PERSON'S
PRESIDENT NOW.
962
00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:06,804
UNDER THAT SYSTEM, THAT PERSON'S
PRESIDENT NOW.
AND TRUMP WOULDN'T DO THAT ONE
963
00:30:06,806 --> 00:30:07,671
PRESIDENT NOW.
AND TRUMP WOULDN'T DO THAT ONE
HONORABLE ACT.
964
00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:09,339
AND TRUMP WOULDN'T DO THAT ONE
HONORABLE ACT.
HILLARY CLINTON HAD TO DO THAT
965
00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:10,474
HONORABLE ACT.
HILLARY CLINTON HAD TO DO THAT
AT THE PENNSYLVANIA HOTEL WHEN
966
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:13,143
HILLARY CLINTON HAD TO DO THAT
AT THE PENNSYLVANIA HOTEL WHEN
SHE LOST, A SHOCKING LOSS AND
967
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:16,146
AT THE PENNSYLVANIA HOTEL WHEN
SHE LOST, A SHOCKING LOSS AND
SHE HAD TO SAY IT.
968
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:19,316
SHE LOST, A SHOCKING LOSS AND
SHE HAD TO SAY IT.
MITT ROMNEY, JOHN MCCAIN, AL
969
00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:20,784
SHE HAD TO SAY IT.
MITT ROMNEY, JOHN MCCAIN, AL
GORE, EVERYONE STANDS UP AND
970
00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:22,786
MITT ROMNEY, JOHN MCCAIN, AL
GORE, EVERYONE STANDS UP AND
SAYS I LOST, IN THIS DEMOCRACY.
971
00:30:22,788 --> 00:30:23,954
GORE, EVERYONE STANDS UP AND
SAYS I LOST, IN THIS DEMOCRACY.
THAT'S WHAT MATTERS.
972
00:30:23,956 --> 00:30:25,055
SAYS I LOST, IN THIS DEMOCRACY.
THAT'S WHAT MATTERS.
SOME PEOPLE LIKE HILLARY CLINTON
973
00:30:25,057 --> 00:30:26,390
THAT'S WHAT MATTERS.
SOME PEOPLE LIKE HILLARY CLINTON
GOT MORE VOTES AND THEY STILL
974
00:30:26,392 --> 00:30:29,326
SOME PEOPLE LIKE HILLARY CLINTON
GOT MORE VOTES AND THEY STILL
SAID I LOST BECAUSE THE
975
00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:30,527
GOT MORE VOTES AND THEY STILL
SAID I LOST BECAUSE THE
ELECTORAL COLLEGE GOVERNS
976
00:30:30,529 --> 00:30:30,761
SAID I LOST BECAUSE THE
ELECTORAL COLLEGE GOVERNS
VICTORY.
977
00:30:30,763 --> 00:30:32,529
ELECTORAL COLLEGE GOVERNS
VICTORY.
THAT IS THE ADMIRABLE THING.
978
00:30:32,531 --> 00:30:33,831
VICTORY.
THAT IS THE ADMIRABLE THING.
I LOVE CONCESSION SPEECHES
979
00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:36,166
THAT IS THE ADMIRABLE THING.
I LOVE CONCESSION SPEECHES
BECAUSE IT SHOWS THE HEART OF
980
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:37,868
I LOVE CONCESSION SPEECHES
BECAUSE IT SHOWS THE HEART OF
PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE IN
981
00:30:37,870 --> 00:30:38,969
BECAUSE IT SHOWS THE HEART OF
PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE IN
POLITICS BUT ARE WILLING TO TAKE
982
00:30:38,971 --> 00:30:43,941
PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE IN
POLITICS BUT ARE WILLING TO TAKE
THE RISK OF H HUMILIATION.
983
00:30:43,943 --> 00:30:45,509
POLITICS BUT ARE WILLING TO TAKE
THE RISK OF H HUMILIATION.
AT SOME POINT AS A POLITICIAN
984
00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:47,945
THE RISK OF H HUMILIATION.
AT SOME POINT AS A POLITICIAN
YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE RISK OF
985
00:30:47,947 --> 00:30:49,146
AT SOME POINT AS A POLITICIAN
YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE RISK OF
BEING HUMILIATED OF PEOPLE
986
00:30:49,148 --> 00:30:52,983
YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE RISK OF
BEING HUMILIATED OF PEOPLE
SAYING WE DON'T WANT YOU
987
00:30:52,985 --> 00:30:53,250
BEING HUMILIATED OF PEOPLE
SAYING WE DON'T WANT YOU
ANYMORE,.
988
00:30:53,252 --> 00:30:54,785
SAYING WE DON'T WANT YOU
ANYMORE,.
GO BUT YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE IT AND
989
00:30:54,787 --> 00:30:56,720
ANYMORE,.
GO BUT YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE IT AND
THIS GUY CLINTON, THE MOST
990
00:30:56,722 --> 00:30:58,121
GO BUT YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE IT AND
THIS GUY CLINTON, THE MOST
HONORABLE THING ABOUT THE OFFICE
991
00:30:58,123 --> 00:30:59,523
THIS GUY CLINTON, THE MOST
HONORABLE THING ABOUT THE OFFICE
IS THEIR WILLINGNESS TO WALK
992
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:00,691
HONORABLE THING ABOUT THE OFFICE
IS THEIR WILLINGNESS TO WALK
AWAY FROM IT.
993
00:31:00,693 --> 00:31:01,091
IS THEIR WILLINGNESS TO WALK
AWAY FROM IT.
IT'S NOT YOURS.
994
00:31:01,093 --> 00:31:02,559
AWAY FROM IT.
IT'S NOT YOURS.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
995
00:31:02,561 --> 00:31:03,093
IT'S NOT YOURS.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK.
996
00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:05,529
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK
997
00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:08,298
QUICK BREAK.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK
CHRIS ABOUT THE DAY HE LEFT
998
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:09,700
WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK
CHRIS ABOUT THE DAY HE LEFT
MSNBC AND WHETHER THAT TOOK
999
00:31:09,702 --> 00:31:11,668
CHRIS ABOUT THE DAY HE LEFT
MSNBC AND WHETHER THAT TOOK
ANYONE BY SURPRISE.
1000
00:31:20,211 --> 00:31:27,117
♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF
1001
00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:28,685
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF
"THIS COUNTRY," CHRIS MATTHEWS.
1002
00:31:28,687 --> 00:31:31,455
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF
"THIS COUNTRY," CHRIS MATTHEWS.
IN THE BOOK, YOU'RE VERY CANDID
1003
00:31:31,457 --> 00:31:34,625
"THIS COUNTRY," CHRIS MATTHEWS.
IN THE BOOK, YOU'RE VERY CANDID
ABOUT WHEN YOU LEFT "HARDBALL"
1004
00:31:34,627 --> 00:31:36,994
IN THE BOOK, YOU'RE VERY CANDID
ABOUT WHEN YOU LEFT "HARDBALL"
AFTER 20 YEARS, YOU HAD -- YOU
1005
00:31:36,996 --> 00:31:38,996
ABOUT WHEN YOU LEFT "HARDBALL"
AFTER 20 YEARS, YOU HAD -- YOU
WOULD REVEAL THAT YOU MADE
1006
00:31:38,998 --> 00:31:40,530
AFTER 20 YEARS, YOU HAD -- YOU
WOULD REVEAL THAT YOU MADE
INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS ABOUT THE
1007
00:31:40,532 --> 00:31:41,365
WOULD REVEAL THAT YOU MADE
INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS ABOUT THE
APPEARANCE OF A FEMALE
1008
00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:42,299
INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS ABOUT THE
APPEARANCE OF A FEMALE
JOURNALIST, AND YOU WENT ON THE
1009
00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:43,901
APPEARANCE OF A FEMALE
JOURNALIST, AND YOU WENT ON THE
AIR AND YOU SAID, YEAH, I DID,
1010
00:31:43,903 --> 00:31:45,569
JOURNALIST, AND YOU WENT ON THE
AIR AND YOU SAID, YEAH, I DID,
IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO,
1011
00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:46,703
AIR AND YOU SAID, YEAH, I DID,
IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO,
AND I'M OUT OF HERE.
1012
00:31:46,705 --> 00:31:49,473
IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO,
AND I'M OUT OF HERE.
DID PEOPLE AT THE NETWORK KNOW
1013
00:31:49,475 --> 00:31:51,775
AND I'M OUT OF HERE.
DID PEOPLE AT THE NETWORK KNOW
THAT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO FIGHT
1014
00:31:51,777 --> 00:31:52,075
DID PEOPLE AT THE NETWORK KNOW
THAT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO FIGHT
THIS?
1015
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:55,312
THAT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO FIGHT
THIS?
DID IT SURPRISE PEOPLE THERE?
1016
00:31:55,314 --> 00:31:57,147
THIS?
DID IT SURPRISE PEOPLE THERE?
>> WELL, THERE WAS A REPORT THAT
1017
00:31:57,149 --> 00:31:58,782
DID IT SURPRISE PEOPLE THERE?
>> WELL, THERE WAS A REPORT THAT
I COMPLE MEND -- IT SHOULDN'T
1018
00:31:58,784 --> 00:32:01,151
>> WELL, THERE WAS A REPORT THAT
I COMPLE MEND -- IT SHOULDN'T
SAY THAT -- I COMMENTED ON A
1019
00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:01,652
I COMPLE MEND -- IT SHOULDN'T
SAY THAT -- I COMMENTED ON A
PERSON'S APPEARANCE.
1020
00:32:01,654 --> 00:32:03,086
SAY THAT -- I COMMENTED ON A
PERSON'S APPEARANCE.
IT WAS A FOUR-YEAR-OLD STORY BUT
1021
00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:04,421
PERSON'S APPEARANCE.
IT WAS A FOUR-YEAR-OLD STORY BUT
IT WAS ACCURATE AS HELL.
1022
00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:05,355
IT WAS A FOUR-YEAR-OLD STORY BUT
IT WAS ACCURATE AS HELL.
I ACCEPTED THE TRUTH.
1023
00:32:05,357 --> 00:32:08,158
IT WAS ACCURATE AS HELL.
I ACCEPTED THE TRUTH.
IN FACT I CREDITED IN A COUPLE
1024
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,626
I ACCEPTED THE TRUTH.
IN FACT I CREDITED IN A COUPLE
OF COMMENTARIES, I SAID, IT'S
1025
00:32:09,628 --> 00:32:11,962
IN FACT I CREDITED IN A COUPLE
OF COMMENTARIES, I SAID, IT'S
ALL TRUE, DON'T PLAME THE
1026
00:32:11,964 --> 00:32:12,229
OF COMMENTARIES, I SAID, IT'S
ALL TRUE, DON'T PLAME THE
MESSENGER.
1027
00:32:12,231 --> 00:32:14,798
ALL TRUE, DON'T PLAME THE
MESSENGER.
I DID IT, I OWN THIS, NOBODY IS
1028
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,633
MESSENGER.
I DID IT, I OWN THIS, NOBODY IS
RESPONSIBLE FOR MY TROUBLE, I
1029
00:32:16,635 --> 00:32:18,235
I DID IT, I OWN THIS, NOBODY IS
RESPONSIBLE FOR MY TROUBLE, I
DID: I SAID SHE WAS RIGHT, THE
1030
00:32:18,237 --> 00:32:19,937
RESPONSIBLE FOR MY TROUBLE, I
DID: I SAID SHE WAS RIGHT, THE
REPORTER, AND I WANT EVERYBODY
1031
00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:21,605
DID: I SAID SHE WAS RIGHT, THE
REPORTER, AND I WANT EVERYBODY
TO KNOW WHO THINKS THEY'RE ON MY
1032
00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:22,139
REPORTER, AND I WANT EVERYBODY
TO KNOW WHO THINKS THEY'RE ON MY
SIDE ON THIS.
1033
00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:23,507
TO KNOW WHO THINKS THEY'RE ON MY
SIDE ON THIS.
MY SIDE IS THE TRUTH AND MY SIDE
1034
00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:24,841
SIDE ON THIS.
MY SIDE IS THE TRUTH AND MY SIDE
IS ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY.
1035
00:32:24,843 --> 00:32:25,976
MY SIDE IS THE TRUTH AND MY SIDE
IS ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY.
I SAID IT.
1036
00:32:25,978 --> 00:32:26,977
IS ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY.
I SAID IT.
I DON'T WANT ANYBODY FIGHTING
1037
00:32:26,979 --> 00:32:27,978
I SAID IT.
I DON'T WANT ANYBODY FIGHTING
FOR ME OR FIGHTING HER OR
1038
00:32:27,980 --> 00:32:29,546
I DON'T WANT ANYBODY FIGHTING
FOR ME OR FIGHTING HER OR
ANYBODY ELSE.
1039
00:32:29,548 --> 00:32:32,182
FOR ME OR FIGHTING HER OR
ANYBODY ELSE.
I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO BE
1040
00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:32,649
ANYBODY ELSE.
I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO BE
HONORABLE.
1041
00:32:32,651 --> 00:32:34,551
I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO BE
HONORABLE.
I ALWAYS TAKE CREDITED FOR BEING
1042
00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:36,653
HONORABLE.
I ALWAYS TAKE CREDITED FOR BEING
CANDID AND SAYING THINGS I
1043
00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:37,721
I ALWAYS TAKE CREDITED FOR BEING
CANDID AND SAYING THINGS I
SHOULDN'T SAY.
1044
00:32:37,723 --> 00:32:38,689
CANDID AND SAYING THINGS I
SHOULDN'T SAY.
BUT PART OF CANDOR IS BEING
1045
00:32:38,691 --> 00:32:40,657
SHOULDN'T SAY.
BUT PART OF CANDOR IS BEING
HONEST AND SAYING, YEAH, I DID
1046
00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:40,824
BUT PART OF CANDOR IS BEING
HONEST AND SAYING, YEAH, I DID
IT.
1047
00:32:40,826 --> 00:32:42,025
HONEST AND SAYING, YEAH, I DID
IT.
THE NEXT DAY I TOLD THE
1048
00:32:42,027 --> 00:32:43,593
IT.
THE NEXT DAY I TOLD THE
PRESIDENT OF MY NETWORK I'M
1049
00:32:43,595 --> 00:32:45,996
THE NEXT DAY I TOLD THE
PRESIDENT OF MY NETWORK I'M
LEAVING, AND ON THAT MONDAY
1050
00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:47,230
PRESIDENT OF MY NETWORK I'M
LEAVING, AND ON THAT MONDAY
NIGHT, THEY LET ME GIVE A SPEECH
1051
00:32:47,232 --> 00:32:48,632
LEAVING, AND ON THAT MONDAY
NIGHT, THEY LET ME GIVE A SPEECH
TO THE PEOPLE TELLING THEM I
1052
00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:49,533
NIGHT, THEY LET ME GIVE A SPEECH
TO THE PEOPLE TELLING THEM I
MISS THEM.
1053
00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:54,104
TO THE PEOPLE TELLING THEM I
MISS THEM.
I DID AN OLD LINE FROM VICTOR,
1054
00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:56,673
MISS THEM.
I DID AN OLD LINE FROM VICTOR,
IT'S NOT GOOD BUY BUT TILL WE
1055
00:32:56,675 --> 00:32:57,541
I DID AN OLD LINE FROM VICTOR,
IT'S NOT GOOD BUY BUT TILL WE
MEET AGAIN.
1056
00:32:57,543 --> 00:32:59,042
IT'S NOT GOOD BUY BUT TILL WE
MEET AGAIN.
AND I WANTED TO SAY THEM TILL WE
1057
00:32:59,044 --> 00:32:59,943
MEET AGAIN.
AND I WANTED TO SAY THEM TILL WE
MEET AGAIN.
1058
00:32:59,945 --> 00:33:00,677
AND I WANTED TO SAY THEM TILL WE
MEET AGAIN.
I MISS PEOPLE.
1059
00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:02,279
MEET AGAIN.
I MISS PEOPLE.
PEOPLE COME UP AND SAY I MISS
1060
00:33:02,281 --> 00:33:02,446
I MISS PEOPLE.
PEOPLE COME UP AND SAY I MISS
YOU.
1061
00:33:02,448 --> 00:33:04,014
PEOPLE COME UP AND SAY I MISS
YOU.
I SAY I MISS YOU, TOO!
1062
00:33:04,016 --> 00:33:08,085
YOU.
I SAY I MISS YOU, TOO!
I WISH I WERE STILL ON THE SHOW.
1063
00:33:08,087 --> 00:33:09,519
I SAY I MISS YOU, TOO!
I WISH I WERE STILL ON THE SHOW.
BUT I'M 75.
1064
00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:10,921
I WISH I WERE STILL ON THE SHOW.
BUT I'M 75.
SOONER OR LATER YOU HAVE TO WALK
1065
00:33:10,923 --> 00:33:12,656
BUT I'M 75.
SOONER OR LATER YOU HAVE TO WALK
OUT THE DOOR AND CONCEDE THE
1066
00:33:12,658 --> 00:33:13,523
SOONER OR LATER YOU HAVE TO WALK
OUT THE DOOR AND CONCEDE THE
FACT YOU'RE OLD.
1067
00:33:13,525 --> 00:33:16,693
OUT THE DOOR AND CONCEDE THE
FACT YOU'RE OLD.
BUT OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW
1068
00:33:16,695 --> 00:33:27,604
FACT YOU'RE OLD.
BUT OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW
TRICKS AS TIPP O'NEIL AND I
1069
00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:27,804
BUT OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW
TRICKS AS TIPP O'NEIL AND I
SAID.
1070
00:33:27,806 --> 00:33:28,638
TRICKS AS TIPP O'NEIL AND I
SAID.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF PEOPLE
1071
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,340
SAID.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF PEOPLE
SAID I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT
1072
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,709
>> Stephen: A LOT OF PEOPLE
SAID I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT
CHRIS HAD TO SAY ABOUT THE
1073
00:33:32,711 --> 00:33:34,244
SAID I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT
CHRIS HAD TO SAY ABOUT THE
ELECTION.
1074
00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:36,546
CHRIS HAD TO SAY ABOUT THE
ELECTION.
WHAT NOVEMBER 5 WAS HEN POISONED
1075
00:33:36,548 --> 00:33:37,714
ELECTION.
WHAT NOVEMBER 5 WAS HEN POISONED
THE NATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS WITH
1076
00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:40,417
WHAT NOVEMBER 5 WAS HEN POISONED
THE NATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS WITH
HIS CLAIMS AND THE 7th WHEN HE
1077
00:33:40,419 --> 00:33:40,617
THE NATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS WITH
HIS CLAIMS AND THE 7th WHEN HE
LOST.
1078
00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:41,385
HIS CLAIMS AND THE 7th WHEN HE
LOST.
HOW MUCH DID YOU WANT TO TALK
1079
00:33:41,387 --> 00:33:42,486
LOST.
HOW MUCH DID YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS ELECTION BECAUSE YOU
1080
00:33:42,488 --> 00:33:44,454
HOW MUCH DID YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS ELECTION BECAUSE YOU
HAVE SUCH PERSPECTIVE ON THIS?
1081
00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:46,089
ABOUT THIS ELECTION BECAUSE YOU
HAVE SUCH PERSPECTIVE ON THIS?
>> WELL, WE HAD A WONDERFUL
1082
00:33:46,091 --> 00:33:46,323
HAVE SUCH PERSPECTIVE ON THIS?
>> WELL, WE HAD A WONDERFUL
TURNOUT.
1083
00:33:46,325 --> 00:33:50,160
>> WELL, WE HAD A WONDERFUL
TURNOUT.
WE HAD TO LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE.
1084
00:33:50,162 --> 00:33:53,497
TURNOUT.
WE HAD TO LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE.
TRUMP GOT 74 MILLION VOTES BUT
1085
00:33:53,499 --> 00:33:55,499
WE HAD TO LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE.
TRUMP GOT 74 MILLION VOTES BUT
BIDEN GOT 8 IS MILLION.
1086
00:33:55,501 --> 00:34:00,137
TRUMP GOT 74 MILLION VOTES BUT
BIDEN GOT 8 IS MILLION.
71 MILLION VOTES IS NOT A
1087
00:34:00,139 --> 00:34:00,404
BIDEN GOT 8 IS MILLION.
71 MILLION VOTES IS NOT A
SQUEAKER.
1088
00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:02,139
71 MILLION VOTES IS NOT A
SQUEAKER.
IT'S NOT LIKE NIXON, YOU COULD
1089
00:34:02,141 --> 00:34:03,440
SQUEAKER.
IT'S NOT LIKE NIXON, YOU COULD
ARGUE ABOUT THE CHICAGO OR
1090
00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:04,841
IT'S NOT LIKE NIXON, YOU COULD
ARGUE ABOUT THE CHICAGO OR
TEXAS' COUNT, YOU COULD ARGUE
1091
00:34:04,843 --> 00:34:05,342
ARGUE ABOUT THE CHICAGO OR
TEXAS' COUNT, YOU COULD ARGUE
ABOUT THAT.
1092
00:34:05,344 --> 00:34:10,447
TEXAS' COUNT, YOU COULD ARGUE
ABOUT THAT.
HE SAT DOWN WITH JACK KENNEDY IN
1093
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:12,182
ABOUT THAT.
HE SAT DOWN WITH JACK KENNEDY IN
KEYBISCANE, FLORIDA, THEY HAD A
1094
00:34:12,184 --> 00:34:13,617
HE SAT DOWN WITH JACK KENNEDY IN
KEYBISCANE, FLORIDA, THEY HAD A
BOTTLE OF COKE AND TALKED ABOUT
1095
00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:16,119
KEYBISCANE, FLORIDA, THEY HAD A
BOTTLE OF COKE AND TALKED ABOUT
IT AND NIXON MADE IT CLEAR
1096
00:34:16,121 --> 00:34:16,686
BOTTLE OF COKE AND TALKED ABOUT
IT AND NIXON MADE IT CLEAR
KENNEDY WON.
1097
00:34:16,688 --> 00:34:18,755
IT AND NIXON MADE IT CLEAR
KENNEDY WON.
AND THAT'S WHAT A NOBLE PERSON
1098
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,690
KENNEDY WON.
AND THAT'S WHAT A NOBLE PERSON
DOES AND TRUMP HAS NOT BEEN
1099
00:34:20,692 --> 00:34:20,891
AND THAT'S WHAT A NOBLE PERSON
DOES AND TRUMP HAS NOT BEEN
NOBLE.
1100
00:34:20,893 --> 00:34:22,859
DOES AND TRUMP HAS NOT BEEN
NOBLE.
PART OF IT IS THE MAN HAS NO
1101
00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:24,261
NOBLE.
PART OF IT IS THE MAN HAS NO
KNOWLEDGE OF AMERICAN HISTORY,
1102
00:34:24,263 --> 00:34:26,129
PART OF IT IS THE MAN HAS NO
KNOWLEDGE OF AMERICAN HISTORY,
NO LOVE FOR IT, HE DOESN'T KNOW
1103
00:34:26,131 --> 00:34:27,631
KNOWLEDGE OF AMERICAN HISTORY,
NO LOVE FOR IT, HE DOESN'T KNOW
THE RULES OF LIFE POLITICALLY.
1104
00:34:27,633 --> 00:34:29,699
NO LOVE FOR IT, HE DOESN'T KNOW
THE RULES OF LIFE POLITICALLY.
I LOVE DEMOCRACY, OUR SYSTEM, I
1105
00:34:29,701 --> 00:34:30,901
THE RULES OF LIFE POLITICALLY.
I LOVE DEMOCRACY, OUR SYSTEM, I
WORKED ON THE INSIDE, I PLAYED
1106
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:31,368
I LOVE DEMOCRACY, OUR SYSTEM, I
WORKED ON THE INSIDE, I PLAYED
THE GAME.
1107
00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:33,737
WORKED ON THE INSIDE, I PLAYED
THE GAME.
I WAS NOT A VIRGIN ABOUT IT, I
1108
00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:36,039
THE GAME.
I WAS NOT A VIRGIN ABOUT IT, I
KNEW HOW TO PLAY HARD BALL
1109
00:34:36,041 --> 00:34:36,306
I WAS NOT A VIRGIN ABOUT IT, I
KNEW HOW TO PLAY HARD BALL
POLITICS.
1110
00:34:36,308 --> 00:34:38,175
KNEW HOW TO PLAY HARD BALL
POLITICS.
I PULLED SOME NUMBERS WHEN I
1111
00:34:38,177 --> 00:34:40,010
POLITICS.
I PULLED SOME NUMBERS WHEN I
TORQUED FOR TIPP O'NEIL.
1112
00:34:40,012 --> 00:34:40,877
I PULLED SOME NUMBERS WHEN I
TORQUED FOR TIPP O'NEIL.
I DID THINGS LIKE CALLING OUT
1113
00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:42,712
TORQUED FOR TIPP O'NEIL.
I DID THINGS LIKE CALLING OUT
THE CHIEF ENGINEER OF THE
1114
00:34:42,714 --> 00:34:45,182
I DID THINGS LIKE CALLING OUT
THE CHIEF ENGINEER OF THE
REPUBLICAN LEADER WHEN HE WAS
1115
00:34:45,184 --> 00:34:46,049
THE CHIEF ENGINEER OF THE
REPUBLICAN LEADER WHEN HE WAS
ATTACKING INFRASTRUCTURE AND I
1116
00:34:46,051 --> 00:34:48,652
REPUBLICAN LEADER WHEN HE WAS
ATTACKING INFRASTRUCTURE AND I
GOT A LIST OF ALL BRIDGES BELOW
1117
00:34:48,654 --> 00:34:50,454
ATTACKING INFRASTRUCTURE AND I
GOT A LIST OF ALL BRIDGES BELOW
SAFETY CODE AND TIPP WENT ON THE
1118
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,556
GOT A LIST OF ALL BRIDGES BELOW
SAFETY CODE AND TIPP WENT ON THE
FLOOR AND READ THE NAMES AND
1119
00:34:52,558 --> 00:34:53,590
SAFETY CODE AND TIPP WENT ON THE
FLOOR AND READ THE NAMES AND
ADDRESSES OF THE BRIDGES IN
1120
00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:55,725
FLOOR AND READ THE NAMES AND
ADDRESSES OF THE BRIDGES IN
FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN
1121
00:34:55,727 --> 00:34:57,294
ADDRESSES OF THE BRIDGES IN
FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN
LEADER -- IN YOUR OWN DISTRICT,
1122
00:34:57,296 --> 00:34:58,695
FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN
LEADER -- IN YOUR OWN DISTRICT,
THE SCHOOL BUSES HAVE TO DRIVE
1123
00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:00,664
LEADER -- IN YOUR OWN DISTRICT,
THE SCHOOL BUSES HAVE TO DRIVE
OVER THE BRIDGES THAT ARE
1124
00:35:00,666 --> 00:35:02,032
THE SCHOOL BUSES HAVE TO DRIVE
OVER THE BRIDGES THAT ARE
RICKETY AND DANGEROUS WHY DON'T
1125
00:35:02,034 --> 00:35:03,366
OVER THE BRIDGES THAT ARE
RICKETY AND DANGEROUS WHY DON'T
YOU FIX THEM?
1126
00:35:03,368 --> 00:35:04,634
RICKETY AND DANGEROUS WHY DON'T
YOU FIX THEM?
>> Stephen: WHY ISN'T SOMEBODY
1127
00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:07,871
YOU FIX THEM?
>> Stephen: WHY ISN'T SOMEBODY
DOING THAT IN THE SENATE NOW?
1128
00:35:07,873 --> 00:35:08,505
>> Stephen: WHY ISN'T SOMEBODY
DOING THAT IN THE SENATE NOW?
>> POLITICS CAN BE TOUGH AND FUN
1129
00:35:08,507 --> 00:35:11,274
DOING THAT IN THE SENATE NOW?
>> POLITICS CAN BE TOUGH AND FUN
AND HONEST AND I LOVED DOING
1130
00:35:11,276 --> 00:35:11,475
>> POLITICS CAN BE TOUGH AND FUN
AND HONEST AND I LOVED DOING
THAT.
1131
00:35:11,477 --> 00:35:12,142
AND HONEST AND I LOVED DOING
THAT.
IN THE MIDDLE TO HAVE THE NIGHT
1132
00:35:12,144 --> 00:35:14,111
THAT.
IN THE MIDDLE TO HAVE THE NIGHT
I ORGANIZED A UNION OF
1133
00:35:14,113 --> 00:35:15,445
IN THE MIDDLE TO HAVE THE NIGHT
I ORGANIZED A UNION OF
STEELWORKERS TO GO TO THE WHITE
1134
00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:16,813
I ORGANIZED A UNION OF
STEELWORKERS TO GO TO THE WHITE
HOUSE AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING AND
1135
00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:20,684
STEELWORKERS TO GO TO THE WHITE
HOUSE AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING AND
HAVE A BIG DEMONSTRATION AND I
1136
00:35:20,686 --> 00:35:24,020
HOUSE AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING AND
HAVE A BIG DEMONSTRATION AND I
MADE SURE I HAD DONUTS AND
1137
00:35:24,022 --> 00:35:25,822
HAVE A BIG DEMONSTRATION AND I
MADE SURE I HAD DONUTS AND
COFFEE FOR THEM IN CASE THEY
1138
00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:28,191
MADE SURE I HAD DONUTS AND
COFFEE FOR THEM IN CASE THEY
SAID IT'S BOTH PARTY'S FAULT,
1139
00:35:28,193 --> 00:35:29,426
COFFEE FOR THEM IN CASE THEY
SAID IT'S BOTH PARTY'S FAULT,
IT'S ONE PARTY'S FAULT.
1140
00:35:29,428 --> 00:35:31,194
SAID IT'S BOTH PARTY'S FAULT,
IT'S ONE PARTY'S FAULT.
>> Stephen: THE BOOK IS "THIS
1141
00:35:31,196 --> 00:35:32,929
IT'S ONE PARTY'S FAULT.
>> Stephen: THE BOOK IS "THIS
COUNTRY," FULL OF STORIES JUST
1142
00:35:32,931 --> 00:35:34,664
>> Stephen: THE BOOK IS "THIS
COUNTRY," FULL OF STORIES JUST
LIKE THAT FROM THE MAN CHRIS
1143
00:35:34,666 --> 00:35:35,232
COUNTRY," FULL OF STORIES JUST
LIKE THAT FROM THE MAN CHRIS
MATTHEWS.
1144
00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:38,969
LIKE THAT FROM THE MAN CHRIS
MATTHEWS.
BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY
1145
00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:39,936
MATTHEWS.
BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY
"CYNTHIA ERIVO.
1146
00:35:46,544 --> 00:35:49,446
♪♪♪
1147
00:36:01,959 --> 00:36:04,327
>> I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON MY
PILLOWS FOR SOME TIME.
I LOVE THEM.
1148
00:36:04,329 --> 00:36:05,762
PILLOWS FOR SOME TIME.
I LOVE THEM.
SIMPLY THE VERY BEST PILLOWS
1149
00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:06,530
I LOVE THEM.
SIMPLY THE VERY BEST PILLOWS
EVER MADE.
1150
00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:08,165
SIMPLY THE VERY BEST PILLOWS
EVER MADE.
>> HEY, RUDY, I SAW YOU
1151
00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:10,100
EVER MADE.
>> HEY, RUDY, I SAW YOU
PROMOTING MY PILLOWS AND I GOT
1152
00:36:10,102 --> 00:36:10,500
>> HEY, RUDY, I SAW YOU
PROMOTING MY PILLOWS AND I GOT
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
1153
00:36:10,502 --> 00:36:12,135
PROMOTING MY PILLOWS AND I GOT
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
IF YOU NEED HELP, A WARM MEAL,
1154
00:36:12,137 --> 00:36:13,603
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
IF YOU NEED HELP, A WARM MEAL,
GIVE ME A SHOUT.
1155
00:36:13,605 --> 00:36:16,306
IF YOU NEED HELP, A WARM MEAL,
GIVE ME A SHOUT.
I JUST MET THE MOST PATHETIC
1156
00:36:16,308 --> 00:36:18,141
GIVE ME A SHOUT.
I JUST MET THE MOST PATHETIC
( BLEEP ) ALIVE AND IT MADE ME
1157
00:36:18,143 --> 00:36:19,442
I JUST MET THE MOST PATHETIC
( BLEEP ) ALIVE AND IT MADE ME
REALIZE I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN IN
1158
00:36:19,444 --> 00:36:21,378
( BLEEP ) ALIVE AND IT MADE ME
REALIZE I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN IN
THE WORLD!
1159
00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:21,645
REALIZE I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN IN
THE WORLD!
♪♪♪
1160
00:36:29,253 --> 00:36:33,857
>> Stephen: PERFORMING "THE
GOOD" FROM HER
FORTHCOMING DEBUT ALBUM,
1161
00:36:33,859 --> 00:36:34,391
GOOD" FROM HER
FORTHCOMING DEBUT ALBUM,
"CHAPTER ONE, VERSE ONE,"
1162
00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:36,960
FORTHCOMING DEBUT ALBUM,
"CHAPTER ONE, VERSE ONE,"
CYNTHIA ERIVO.
1163
00:36:36,962 --> 00:36:38,628
"CHAPTER ONE, VERSE ONE,"
CYNTHIA ERIVO.
♪♪♪
1164
00:36:38,630 --> 00:36:43,099
CYNTHIA ERIVO.
♪♪♪
♪ ♪ ♪
1165
00:36:43,101 --> 00:36:50,073
♪♪♪
♪ ♪ ♪
GONE IS THE WAY WE USED TO SMILE
1166
00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:50,640
♪ ♪ ♪
GONE IS THE WAY WE USED TO SMILE
♪ MY DEAR
1167
00:36:50,642 --> 00:36:55,111
GONE IS THE WAY WE USED TO SMILE
♪ MY DEAR
HOPE DOESN'T SPRING FROM
1168
00:36:55,113 --> 00:37:02,619
♪ MY DEAR
HOPE DOESN'T SPRING FROM
♪ ANYWHERE
1169
00:37:02,621 --> 00:37:03,153
HOPE DOESN'T SPRING FROM
♪ ANYWHERE
WATCHING THE WORLD FORGET
1170
00:37:03,155 --> 00:37:08,625
♪ ANYWHERE
WATCHING THE WORLD FORGET
♪ TO BREATHE
1171
00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:14,598
WATCHING THE WORLD FORGET
♪ TO BREATHE
WISH WE COULD STOP AND FEEL
1172
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:18,969
♪ TO BREATHE
WISH WE COULD STOP AND FEEL
♪ THE BREEZE
1173
00:37:18,971 --> 00:37:19,236
WISH WE COULD STOP AND FEEL
♪ THE BREEZE
BUT I KNOW
1174
00:37:19,238 --> 00:37:23,106
♪ THE BREEZE
BUT I KNOW
♪ THERE'S NO POINT IN WAITING
1175
00:37:23,108 --> 00:37:26,142
BUT I KNOW
♪ THERE'S NO POINT IN WAITING
FOR WHAT I CAN'T SEE
1176
00:37:26,144 --> 00:37:26,610
♪ THERE'S NO POINT IN WAITING
FOR WHAT I CAN'T SEE
♪ HOLDING MY CHEST
1177
00:37:26,612 --> 00:37:30,580
FOR WHAT I CAN'T SEE
♪ HOLDING MY CHEST
AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT
1178
00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:31,114
♪ HOLDING MY CHEST
AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT
♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN
1179
00:37:31,116 --> 00:37:34,951
AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT
♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN
AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN
1180
00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:35,318
♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN
AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
1181
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,622
AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
1182
00:37:38,624 --> 00:37:42,158
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH
1183
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,093
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH
TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE
1184
00:37:43,095 --> 00:37:44,628
♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH
TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
1185
00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:47,097
TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
1186
00:37:47,099 --> 00:37:50,600
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
1187
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:53,270
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
1188
00:37:53,272 --> 00:37:55,105
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE
1189
00:37:55,107 --> 00:37:56,606
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE
DAYS GO BY
1190
00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:59,109
♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE
DAYS GO BY
♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
1191
00:37:59,111 --> 00:38:02,579
DAYS GO BY
♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
BUT I SEE THE LIGHT
1192
00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:07,117
♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
BUT I SEE THE LIGHT
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD
1193
00:38:07,119 --> 00:38:08,618
BUT I SEE THE LIGHT
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD
GONE ARE THE LIES WE USED
1194
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:13,823
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD
GONE ARE THE LIES WE USED
♪ TO TELL OURSELVES
1195
00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:14,624
GONE ARE THE LIES WE USED
♪ TO TELL OURSELVES
THERE'S ONLY SO LONG
1196
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:20,630
♪ TO TELL OURSELVES
THERE'S ONLY SO LONG
♪ WE CAN LIVE A FAIRY TALE
1197
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:31,074
THERE'S ONLY SO LONG
♪ WE CAN LIVE A FAIRY TALE
INNOCENT CHILDREN STOLEN YOUTH
1198
00:38:31,076 --> 00:38:35,111
♪ WE CAN LIVE A FAIRY TALE
INNOCENT CHILDREN STOLEN YOUTH
♪ IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES
1199
00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:42,786
INNOCENT CHILDREN STOLEN YOUTH
♪ IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES
UNTIL YOU LOSE
1200
00:38:42,788 --> 00:38:43,420
♪ IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES
UNTIL YOU LOSE
♪ I KNOW THERE'S NO GROWING UP
1201
00:38:43,422 --> 00:38:47,123
UNTIL YOU LOSE
♪ I KNOW THERE'S NO GROWING UP
IF YOU CAN'T FACE THE TRUTH
1202
00:38:47,125 --> 00:38:50,627
♪ I KNOW THERE'S NO GROWING UP
IF YOU CAN'T FACE THE TRUTH
♪ HOLDING MY CHEST
1203
00:38:50,629 --> 00:38:52,862
IF YOU CAN'T FACE THE TRUTH
♪ HOLDING MY CHEST
AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT
1204
00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:55,098
♪ HOLDING MY CHEST
AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT
♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN
1205
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:56,633
AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT
♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN
AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN
1206
00:38:56,635 --> 00:38:59,102
♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN
AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
1207
00:38:59,104 --> 00:39:01,805
AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
1208
00:39:01,807 --> 00:39:02,605
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH
1209
00:39:02,607 --> 00:39:05,475
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH
TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE
1210
00:39:05,477 --> 00:39:07,110
♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH
TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
1211
00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:08,611
TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
1212
00:39:08,613 --> 00:39:11,081
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
1213
00:39:11,083 --> 00:39:14,617
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
1214
00:39:14,619 --> 00:39:15,118
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
1215
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:19,122
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
1216
00:39:19,124 --> 00:39:20,623
♪ WHAT CAN I DO
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
1217
00:39:20,625 --> 00:39:23,093
TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
BUT I SEE THE LIGHT
1218
00:39:23,095 --> 00:39:39,609
♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
BUT I SEE THE LIGHT
♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD
1219
00:39:41,779 --> 00:39:47,117
JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD
♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
1220
00:39:47,119 --> 00:39:50,620
♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
1221
00:39:50,622 --> 00:39:51,154
JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE
♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
WHAT CAN I DO
1222
00:39:51,156 --> 00:39:55,091
♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
WHAT CAN I DO
♪ TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
1223
00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:56,626
WHAT CAN I DO
♪ TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
1224
00:39:56,628 --> 00:39:59,095
♪ TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY
WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
♪ BUT I SEE THE LIGHT
1225
00:39:59,097 --> 00:40:02,599
WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME
♪ BUT I SEE THE LIGHT
JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD
1226
00:40:02,601 --> 00:40:04,601
♪ BUT I SEE THE LIGHT
JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD
♪
1227
00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:12,475
>> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR "'A'
LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
1228
00:40:12,477 --> 00:40:13,109
LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE CLIVE OWEN AND COMEDIAN
1229
00:40:13,111 --> 00:40:15,545
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE CLIVE OWEN AND COMEDIAN
ZIWE.
1230
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WILL BE CLIVE OWEN AND COMEDIAN
ZIWE.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, GOODNIGHT.
1231
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ZIWE.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, GOODNIGHT.
♪♪♪
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