1 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:08,707 Captioning sponsored by CBS >> REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE SENT A LETTER TO 2 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:09,274 >> REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE SENT A LETTER TO PRESIDENT BIDEN DEMANDING AN 3 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:10,209 TAYLOR GREENE SENT A LETTER TO PRESIDENT BIDEN DEMANDING AN INVESTIGATION INTO WHAT SHE 4 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,377 PRESIDENT BIDEN DEMANDING AN INVESTIGATION INTO WHAT SHE BELIEVES IS ANTHONY FAUCI'S 5 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,111 INVESTIGATION INTO WHAT SHE BELIEVES IS ANTHONY FAUCI'S COVERUP OF THE ORIGINS OF 6 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,846 BELIEVES IS ANTHONY FAUCI'S COVERUP OF THE ORIGINS OF COVID 19. 7 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,715 COVERUP OF THE ORIGINS OF COVID 19. SHE ASKED FOR ANSWERS BY 8 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,117 COVID 19. SHE ASKED FOR ANSWERS BY JUNE 31, 2021. 9 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,686 SHE ASKED FOR ANSWERS BY JUNE 31, 2021. ONLY ONE PROBLEM -- JUNE HAS 30 10 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:24,089 JUNE 31, 2021. ONLY ONE PROBLEM -- JUNE HAS 30 DAYS. 11 00:00:52,285 --> 00:01:00,059 >> Announcer: IT'S A "LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT! TONIGHT, LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. 12 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:04,329 SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT! TONIGHT, LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES CHRIS 13 00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,599 TONIGHT, LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES CHRIS MATTHEWS AND MUSICAL GUEST 14 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:12,071 PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES CHRIS MATTHEWS AND MUSICAL GUEST "CYNTHIA ERIVO, AND OUR 15 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,372 MATTHEWS AND MUSICAL GUEST "CYNTHIA ERIVO, AND OUR UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE 16 00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,308 "CYNTHIA ERIVO, AND OUR UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE PLUNKETT, FEATURING JON BATISTE 17 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:16,708 UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE PLUNKETT, FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN." 18 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,677 PLUNKETT, FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN." AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED 19 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,012 AND "STAY HUMAN." AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING 20 00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:24,116 AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN 21 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:30,089 SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 22 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,691 IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! >> Stephen: WELL, HEY, THERE. 23 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,425 COLBERT! >> Stephen: WELL, HEY, THERE. WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW." 24 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:33,859 >> Stephen: WELL, HEY, THERE. WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW." I'M STEPHEN COLBERT. 25 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:34,760 WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW." I'M STEPHEN COLBERT. I'VE BEEN OFF FOR A WEEK, BUT 26 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,095 I'M STEPHEN COLBERT. I'VE BEEN OFF FOR A WEEK, BUT I'M BACK. 27 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,830 I'VE BEEN OFF FOR A WEEK, BUT I'M BACK. AND SO IS A LITTLE LADY I CAL 28 00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:40,933 I'M BACK. AND SO IS A LITTLE LADY I CAL THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 29 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:41,300 AND SO IS A LITTLE LADY I CAL THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA BECAUSE PANDEMIC 30 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:41,900 THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA BECAUSE PANDEMIC RESTRICTIONS ARE LIFTING AND 31 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:42,434 BECAUSE PANDEMIC RESTRICTIONS ARE LIFTING AND FOLKS ARE GETTING BACK TO 32 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,068 RESTRICTIONS ARE LIFTING AND FOLKS ARE GETTING BACK TO EVERYTHING WE MISSED: 33 00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,002 FOLKS ARE GETTING BACK TO EVERYTHING WE MISSED: HUGGING, KISSING, SHARING A HOT 34 00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:44,670 EVERYTHING WE MISSED: HUGGING, KISSING, SHARING A HOT DOG WITH A STRANGER 35 00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:48,107 HUGGING, KISSING, SHARING A HOT DOG WITH A STRANGER LADY-AND-THE-TRAMP STYLE. 36 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,209 DOG WITH A STRANGER LADY-AND-THE-TRAMP STYLE. COME ON! 37 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,477 LADY-AND-THE-TRAMP STYLE. COME ON! HELP ME HERE, CHRIS! 38 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:54,113 COME ON! HELP ME HERE, CHRIS! COME ON! 39 00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,914 HELP ME HERE, CHRIS! COME ON! ( LAUGHTER ) 40 00:01:55,916 --> 00:02:03,989 COME ON! ( LAUGHTER ) MORE CONEY ISLAND FOR ME. 41 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:04,690 ( LAUGHTER ) MORE CONEY ISLAND FOR ME. OF COURSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT 42 00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:05,357 MORE CONEY ISLAND FOR ME. OF COURSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT SIGN THAT THINGS ARE GETTING 43 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,125 OF COURSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT SIGN THAT THINGS ARE GETTING BACK TO NORMAL HAPPENS ONE WEEK 44 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,526 SIGN THAT THINGS ARE GETTING BACK TO NORMAL HAPPENS ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT, WHEN I RETURN TO 45 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,660 BACK TO NORMAL HAPPENS ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT, WHEN I RETURN TO TE ED SULLIVAN THEATER FOR A 46 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:12,097 FROM TONIGHT, WHEN I RETURN TO TE ED SULLIVAN THEATER FOR A SPECIAL SHOW WE'RE CALLING: 47 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:12,731 TE ED SULLIVAN THEATER FOR A SPECIAL SHOW WE'RE CALLING: THE LATE SHOW VAX IN ACTION: AN 48 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:16,702 SPECIAL SHOW WE'RE CALLING: THE LATE SHOW VAX IN ACTION: AN IMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION OF 49 00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,203 THE LATE SHOW VAX IN ACTION: AN IMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION OF THE STATE OF THE REUNION, CART: 50 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:28,714 IMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION OF THE STATE OF THE REUNION, CART: WITH A LIVE BODY 51 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,115 THE STATE OF THE REUNION, CART: WITH A LIVE BODY AUDI-AUDI-AUDIENCE! 52 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:35,220 WITH A LIVE BODY AUDI-AUDI-AUDIENCE! ( LAUGHTER ) 53 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,289 AUDI-AUDI-AUDIENCE! ( LAUGHTER ) YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THE HOT DOG TO 54 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:37,956 ( LAUGHTER ) YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THE HOT DOG TO COME BACK. 55 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,559 YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THE HOT DOG TO COME BACK. WHY DON'T I HAVE A HOT DOG PROP. 56 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,060 COME BACK. WHY DON'T I HAVE A HOT DOG PROP. GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH OUT OF 57 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:46,498 WHY DON'T I HAVE A HOT DOG PROP. GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH OUT OF THAT CONEY. 58 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:46,798 GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH OUT OF THAT CONEY. ( LAUGHTER ) 59 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,301 THAT CONEY. ( LAUGHTER ) AMERICA'S SLOW CRAWL TO 60 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:49,902 ( LAUGHTER ) AMERICA'S SLOW CRAWL TO NORMALITY IS ALL THANKS TO THE 61 00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:50,435 AMERICA'S SLOW CRAWL TO NORMALITY IS ALL THANKS TO THE VACCINE ROLLOUT. 62 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,004 NORMALITY IS ALL THANKS TO THE VACCINE ROLLOUT. I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN 63 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:52,704 VACCINE ROLLOUT. I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT'S: "THE VAX-SCENE." 64 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,507 I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT'S: "THE VAX-SCENE." (SINGING TO "BEER BARREL POLKA") 65 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,675 TONIGHT'S: "THE VAX-SCENE." (SINGING TO "BEER BARREL POLKA") COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW 66 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,977 (SINGING TO "BEER BARREL POLKA") COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA 67 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,112 COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA 68 00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:03,615 THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA SO YOU DON'T GET CORONA 69 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:04,716 WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA SO YOU DON'T GET CORONA COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW 70 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,920 SO YOU DON'T GET CORONA COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA 71 00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:08,687 COME AND GET YOUR SHOT NOW THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA 72 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:14,159 THIS IS THE POKE YA POLKA WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA WE ARE THE POKE YA POLKAS 73 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:14,760 WE POLKA WHILE WE POKE YA WE ARE THE POKE YA POLKAS ♪♪♪ 74 00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:15,794 WE ARE THE POKE YA POLKAS ♪♪♪ >> THANK YOU! 75 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:16,261 ♪♪♪ >> THANK YOU! VERY MUCH. 76 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,496 >> THANK YOU! VERY MUCH. GOOD NIGHT. 77 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:20,699 VERY MUCH. GOOD NIGHT. THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT! 78 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:24,102 GOOD NIGHT. THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT! ♪♪♪ 79 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,771 THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT! ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: GRAPHICS GET PAID 80 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:26,672 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: GRAPHICS GET PAID BY THE MINUTE, RIGHT? 81 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:32,144 >> Stephen: GRAPHICS GET PAID BY THE MINUTE, RIGHT? IS THAT WHY THEY'RE SO LONG? 82 00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:32,678 BY THE MINUTE, RIGHT? IS THAT WHY THEY'RE SO LONG? IMMUNIZATIONS HAVE BEEN SO 83 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,312 IS THAT WHY THEY'RE SO LONG? IMMUNIZATIONS HAVE BEEN SO EFFECTIVE, THAT WE JUST GOT THIS 84 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:33,879 IMMUNIZATIONS HAVE BEEN SO EFFECTIVE, THAT WE JUST GOT THIS NEWS: 85 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,613 EFFECTIVE, THAT WE JUST GOT THIS NEWS: >> COVID CASES ARE NOW AT THE 86 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,114 NEWS: >> COVID CASES ARE NOW AT THE LOWEST POINT IN THE UNITED 87 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:36,715 >> COVID CASES ARE NOW AT THE LOWEST POINT IN THE UNITED STATES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF 88 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:41,486 LOWEST POINT IN THE UNITED STATES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE PANDEMIC. 89 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,087 STATES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE PANDEMIC. >> STEPHEN: I'M NOT ACTUALLY 90 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:42,821 THE PANDEMIC. >> STEPHEN: I'M NOT ACTUALLY SURPRISED. 91 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,690 >> STEPHEN: I'M NOT ACTUALLY SURPRISED. I'M JUST CELEBRATING THAT I CAN 92 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,325 SURPRISED. I'M JUST CELEBRATING THAT I CAN DO SPIT TAKES AGAIN. 93 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,660 I'M JUST CELEBRATING THAT I CAN DO SPIT TAKES AGAIN. ENJOY THE ANTIBODIES, MARK. 94 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:51,863 DO SPIT TAKES AGAIN. ENJOY THE ANTIBODIES, MARK. OVER THE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND, 95 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,498 ENJOY THE ANTIBODIES, MARK. OVER THE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND, SO MANY PEOPLE CAME OUT TO 96 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:58,136 OVER THE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND, SO MANY PEOPLE CAME OUT TO CELEBRATE THAT ONE CLUB MANAGER 97 00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:02,541 SO MANY PEOPLE CAME OUT TO CELEBRATE THAT ONE CLUB MANAGER SAID, IT FELT LIKE THE END OF 98 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:03,809 CELEBRATE THAT ONE CLUB MANAGER SAID, IT FELT LIKE THE END OF PROHIBITION. 99 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:04,443 SAID, IT FELT LIKE THE END OF PROHIBITION. OF COURSE, BACK THEN IT WAS THE 100 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,043 PROHIBITION. OF COURSE, BACK THEN IT WAS THE END OF MAKING BATHTUB GIN, AND 101 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:05,677 OF COURSE, BACK THEN IT WAS THE END OF MAKING BATHTUB GIN, AND NOW IT'S THE END OF DRINKING GIN 102 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,044 END OF MAKING BATHTUB GIN, AND NOW IT'S THE END OF DRINKING GIN IN THE BATHTUB. 103 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:06,612 NOW IT'S THE END OF DRINKING GIN IN THE BATHTUB. I'M GONNA MISS MY MR. BUBBLE 104 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:11,016 IN THE BATHTUB. I'M GONNA MISS MY MR. BUBBLE GIMLETS. 105 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,085 I'M GONNA MISS MY MR. BUBBLE GIMLETS. I'M SERIOUS, THERE'S LITERALLY 106 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:13,785 GIMLETS. I'M SERIOUS, THERE'S LITERALLY SPITTLE ON THE LENS. 107 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:14,786 I'M SERIOUS, THERE'S LITERALLY SPITTLE ON THE LENS. HERE YOU GO. 108 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,621 SPITTLE ON THE LENS. HERE YOU GO. BRING IT BACK. 109 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:16,188 HERE YOU GO. BRING IT BACK. BRING IT BACK. 110 00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,256 BRING IT BACK. BRING IT BACK. THERE YOU GO. 111 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:18,257 BRING IT BACK. THERE YOU GO. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT GOING 112 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:23,262 THERE YOU GO. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE ON NEXT WEEK THIS TIME? 113 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:24,062 AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE ON NEXT WEEK THIS TIME? SLIPPERS. 114 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:24,363 TO HAVE ON NEXT WEEK THIS TIME? SLIPPERS. ( LAUGHTER ) 115 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,565 SLIPPERS. ( LAUGHTER ) I COULDN'T FIND MY SHOES! 116 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,667 ( LAUGHTER ) I COULDN'T FIND MY SHOES! SO I SAID, ( BLEEP ) IT, I'LL 117 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,501 I COULDN'T FIND MY SHOES! SO I SAID, ( BLEEP ) IT, I'LL WEAR SLIPPERS. 118 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,469 SO I SAID, ( BLEEP ) IT, I'LL WEAR SLIPPERS. WHAT DOES IT MATTER? 119 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:33,272 WEAR SLIPPERS. WHAT DOES IT MATTER? I'M DOING IT IN A BROOM CLOSET. 120 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:36,141 WHAT DOES IT MATTER? I'M DOING IT IN A BROOM CLOSET. NEXT WEEK, I PROMISE, THIS IS MY 121 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,143 I'M DOING IT IN A BROOM CLOSET. NEXT WEEK, I PROMISE, THIS IS MY PLEDGE TO AMERICA, I WILL NOT 122 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:41,446 NEXT WEEK, I PROMISE, THIS IS MY PLEDGE TO AMERICA, I WILL NOT WEAR A FIVE-YEAR-OLD PEAR OF 123 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,117 PLEDGE TO AMERICA, I WILL NOT WEAR A FIVE-YEAR-OLD PEAR OF UGGS NEXT MONDAY NIGHT. 124 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,184 WEAR A FIVE-YEAR-OLD PEAR OF UGGS NEXT MONDAY NIGHT. IT'S NOT JUST NIGHTCLUBS AND 125 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,286 UGGS NEXT MONDAY NIGHT. IT'S NOT JUST NIGHTCLUBS AND BARS RE-OPENING. 126 00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:47,819 IT'S NOT JUST NIGHTCLUBS AND BARS RE-OPENING. SAM'S CLUB AND COSTCO HAVE 127 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:48,453 BARS RE-OPENING. SAM'S CLUB AND COSTCO HAVE ANNOUNCED THEY'RE BRINGING BACK 128 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,323 SAM'S CLUB AND COSTCO HAVE ANNOUNCED THEY'RE BRINGING BACK FREE SAMPLES. 129 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,691 ANNOUNCED THEY'RE BRINGING BACK FREE SAMPLES. FINALLY, AMERICANS CAN GO BACK 130 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,126 FREE SAMPLES. FINALLY, AMERICANS CAN GO BACK TO PLAYING OUR FAVORITE GROCERY 131 00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:58,864 FINALLY, AMERICANS CAN GO BACK TO PLAYING OUR FAVORITE GROCERY GAME: IS THIS MEAT? 132 00:04:58,866 --> 00:04:59,965 TO PLAYING OUR FAVORITE GROCERY GAME: IS THIS MEAT? THE ANSWER? 133 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:00,499 GAME: IS THIS MEAT? THE ANSWER? I DON'T CARE. 134 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,099 THE ANSWER? I DON'T CARE. IT'S ON A TOOTHPICK, AND IT'S 135 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,703 I DON'T CARE. IT'S ON A TOOTHPICK, AND IT'S FREE. 136 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:05,437 IT'S ON A TOOTHPICK, AND IT'S FREE. BUT SOME RE-OPENINGS ARE A 137 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:06,138 FREE. BUT SOME RE-OPENINGS ARE A LITTLE CHOPPIER, LIKE IN THE 138 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,906 BUT SOME RE-OPENINGS ARE A LITTLE CHOPPIER, LIKE IN THE CRUISE INDUSTRY. 139 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:08,674 LITTLE CHOPPIER, LIKE IN THE CRUISE INDUSTRY. BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF COVID, 140 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:12,144 CRUISE INDUSTRY. BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF COVID, CRUISES BECAME FLOATING PRISONS 141 00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,879 BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF COVID, CRUISES BECAME FLOATING PRISONS OF MEDICAL-GRADE DESPAIR. 142 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:14,379 CRUISES BECAME FLOATING PRISONS OF MEDICAL-GRADE DESPAIR. BUT ROYAL CARIBBEAN HAS 143 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,180 OF MEDICAL-GRADE DESPAIR. BUT ROYAL CARIBBEAN HAS ANNOUNCED A US COMEBACK THIS 144 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,715 BUT ROYAL CARIBBEAN HAS ANNOUNCED A US COMEBACK THIS SUMMER. 145 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,150 ANNOUNCED A US COMEBACK THIS SUMMER. THERE'S ONLY ONE CATCH: 146 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:24,156 SUMMER. THERE'S ONLY ONE CATCH: VACCINATIONS ARE OPTIONAL. 147 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,357 THERE'S ONLY ONE CATCH: VACCINATIONS ARE OPTIONAL. WHAT THE WHAT? 148 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:25,824 VACCINATIONS ARE OPTIONAL. WHAT THE WHAT? YOU CAN'T TRUST CRUISE 149 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:26,458 WHAT THE WHAT? YOU CAN'T TRUST CRUISE PASSENGERS TO MAKE SMART HEALTH 150 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,025 YOU CAN'T TRUST CRUISE PASSENGERS TO MAKE SMART HEALTH DECISIONS. 151 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:27,592 PASSENGERS TO MAKE SMART HEALTH DECISIONS. THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT IN 152 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,226 DECISIONS. THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT IN LINE TO SCOOP UP MACARONI SALAD 153 00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:28,794 THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT IN LINE TO SCOOP UP MACARONI SALAD FROM A BIN A TODDLER LOST A 154 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:35,400 LINE TO SCOOP UP MACARONI SALAD FROM A BIN A TODDLER LOST A FLIP-FLOP IN. 155 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,069 FROM A BIN A TODDLER LOST A FLIP-FLOP IN. THE REASONS -- THERE ARE A LOT 156 00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:38,603 FLIP-FLOP IN. THE REASONS -- THERE ARE A LOT OF REASONS, THERE MANY REASONS 157 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,673 THE REASONS -- THERE ARE A LOT OF REASONS, THERE MANY REASONS THE VACCINES ARE 158 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,307 OF REASONS, THERE MANY REASONS THE VACCINES ARE OPTIONAL IS THAT A LOT OF THESE 159 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:42,974 THE VACCINES ARE OPTIONAL IS THAT A LOT OF THESE CRUISES DEPART FROM FLORIDA, 160 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:43,608 OPTIONAL IS THAT A LOT OF THESE CRUISES DEPART FROM FLORIDA, WHERE THEY JUST PASSED A LAW 161 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,209 CRUISES DEPART FROM FLORIDA, WHERE THEY JUST PASSED A LAW THAT NOT ONLY PROHIBITS 162 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:44,743 WHERE THEY JUST PASSED A LAW THAT NOT ONLY PROHIBITS BUSINESSES FROM REQUIRING 163 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,079 THAT NOT ONLY PROHIBITS BUSINESSES FROM REQUIRING VACCINATIONS, BUT 164 00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:48,146 BUSINESSES FROM REQUIRING VACCINATIONS, BUT WILL FINE COMPANIES $5,000 EACH 165 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:48,747 VACCINATIONS, BUT WILL FINE COMPANIES $5,000 EACH TIME THEY REQUIRE VACCINATION 166 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,016 WILL FINE COMPANIES $5,000 EACH TIME THEY REQUIRE VACCINATION PROOF FROM A PATRON. 167 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,684 TIME THEY REQUIRE VACCINATION PROOF FROM A PATRON. THAT'S A TOUGH BEAT FOR FLORIDA 168 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,188 PROOF FROM A PATRON. THAT'S A TOUGH BEAT FOR FLORIDA COPS. 169 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:56,788 THAT'S A TOUGH BEAT FOR FLORIDA COPS. ATTENTION ALL UNITS, WE HAVE A 170 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:57,389 COPS. ATTENTION ALL UNITS, WE HAVE A REPORT THAT COLDSTONE CREAMERY 171 00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:58,256 ATTENTION ALL UNITS, WE HAVE A REPORT THAT COLDSTONE CREAMERY IS TRYING TO KEEP CUSTOMERS 172 00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:58,990 REPORT THAT COLDSTONE CREAMERY IS TRYING TO KEEP CUSTOMERS ALIVE. 173 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,158 IS TRYING TO KEEP CUSTOMERS ALIVE. IMMEDIATELY REDIRECT ALL 174 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:00,726 ALIVE. IMMEDIATELY REDIRECT ALL OFFICERS AWAY FROM THE 175 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,794 IMMEDIATELY REDIRECT ALL OFFICERS AWAY FROM THE METH-FUELED ALLIGATOR KNIFE 176 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,696 OFFICERS AWAY FROM THE METH-FUELED ALLIGATOR KNIFE FIGHT. 177 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:08,700 METH-FUELED ALLIGATOR KNIFE FIGHT. GET ME A BROWNIE MIXIN. 178 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,701 FIGHT. GET ME A BROWNIE MIXIN. THE FIRST CRUISE IS SCHEDULED 179 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,069 GET ME A BROWNIE MIXIN. THE FIRST CRUISE IS SCHEDULED FOR JULY 2, AND TO ENSURE 180 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,137 THE FIRST CRUISE IS SCHEDULED FOR JULY 2, AND TO ENSURE SAFETY, ROYAL CARIBBEAN IS 181 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,407 FOR JULY 2, AND TO ENSURE SAFETY, ROYAL CARIBBEAN IS CONDUCTING SIMULATION CRUISES. 182 00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:16,708 SAFETY, ROYAL CARIBBEAN IS CONDUCTING SIMULATION CRUISES. WHICH I ASSUME MEANS TESTING THE 183 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,176 CONDUCTING SIMULATION CRUISES. WHICH I ASSUME MEANS TESTING THE ENDURANCE OF PASSENGERS WITH 184 00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,712 WHICH I ASSUME MEANS TESTING THE ENDURANCE OF PASSENGERS WITH A SHRIMP TEST DUMMY. 185 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:24,149 ENDURANCE OF PASSENGERS WITH A SHRIMP TEST DUMMY. SPEAKING OF THINGS OPENING UP, 186 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,218 A SHRIMP TEST DUMMY. SPEAKING OF THINGS OPENING UP, THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S MOUTH. 187 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,586 SPEAKING OF THINGS OPENING UP, THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S MOUTH. ON SATURDAY NIGHT, 188 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:28,253 THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S MOUTH. ON SATURDAY NIGHT, "FATTY KRUGER" GAVE A SPEECH TO 189 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:28,854 ON SATURDAY NIGHT, "FATTY KRUGER" GAVE A SPEECH TO THE NORTH CAROLINA REPUBLICAN 190 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,155 "FATTY KRUGER" GAVE A SPEECH TO THE NORTH CAROLINA REPUBLICAN PARTY, WHERE HE SAID A BUNCH OF 191 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,724 THE NORTH CAROLINA REPUBLICAN PARTY, WHERE HE SAID A BUNCH OF STUFF BUT NOBODY PAID ATTENTION 192 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,161 PARTY, WHERE HE SAID A BUNCH OF STUFF BUT NOBODY PAID ATTENTION BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE HE WORE 193 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,230 STUFF BUT NOBODY PAID ATTENTION BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE HE WORE PANTS BACKWARDS. 194 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,331 BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE HE WORE PANTS BACKWARDS. LET'S TAKE A PEEK: HERE HE IS, 195 00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,165 PANTS BACKWARDS. LET'S TAKE A PEEK: HERE HE IS, LEAVING THE PODIUM, AND LOOKING 196 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:40,699 LET'S TAKE A PEEK: HERE HE IS, LEAVING THE PODIUM, AND LOOKING FOR THE ZIPPER... 197 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,769 LEAVING THE PODIUM, AND LOOKING FOR THE ZIPPER... AND... NOTHING. 198 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:44,669 FOR THE ZIPPER... AND... NOTHING. EITHER HE SHARES A TAILOR WITH A 199 00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,305 AND... NOTHING. EITHER HE SHARES A TAILOR WITH A KEN DOLL, OR HE SPENDS SO MUCH 200 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,173 EITHER HE SHARES A TAILOR WITH A KEN DOLL, OR HE SPENDS SO MUCH TIME YANKING STUFF OUT OF HIS 201 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:48,774 KEN DOLL, OR HE SPENDS SO MUCH TIME YANKING STUFF OUT OF HIS KEISTER, IT JUST HELPS TO HAVE 202 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:52,277 TIME YANKING STUFF OUT OF HIS KEISTER, IT JUST HELPS TO HAVE THE ZIPPER BACK THERE. 203 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:52,744 KEISTER, IT JUST HELPS TO HAVE THE ZIPPER BACK THERE. BUT IT RAISED A LOT OF 204 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,146 THE ZIPPER BACK THERE. BUT IT RAISED A LOT OF QUESTIONS, LIKE: HOW DID HE ZIP 205 00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:56,715 BUT IT RAISED A LOT OF QUESTIONS, LIKE: HOW DID HE ZIP THE PANTS? 206 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,016 QUESTIONS, LIKE: HOW DID HE ZIP THE PANTS? WAS HIS BELT ALSO ON BACKWARDS? 207 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:58,617 THE PANTS? WAS HIS BELT ALSO ON BACKWARDS? AND HOW LUCKY ARE WE THAT THIS 208 00:06:58,619 --> 00:06:59,217 WAS HIS BELT ALSO ON BACKWARDS? AND HOW LUCKY ARE WE THAT THIS MAN NO LONGER HAS THE NUCLEAR 209 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,119 AND HOW LUCKY ARE WE THAT THIS MAN NO LONGER HAS THE NUCLEAR CODES? 210 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,821 MAN NO LONGER HAS THE NUCLEAR CODES? I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ENJOYED 211 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,189 CODES? I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ENJOYED THE IMAGE. 212 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:04,823 I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ENJOYED THE IMAGE. ON TWITTER, THE FORMER PRESIDENT 213 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:08,560 THE IMAGE. ON TWITTER, THE FORMER PRESIDENT QUICKLY DREW COMPARISONS TO 90'S 214 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,194 ON TWITTER, THE FORMER PRESIDENT QUICKLY DREW COMPARISONS TO 90'S CHILD HIP-HOP DUO FAMOUS FOR 215 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:09,961 QUICKLY DREW COMPARISONS TO 90'S CHILD HIP-HOP DUO FAMOUS FOR WEARING THEIR PANTS BACKWARDS, 216 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,164 CHILD HIP-HOP DUO FAMOUS FOR WEARING THEIR PANTS BACKWARDS, KRISS KROSS. 217 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,765 WEARING THEIR PANTS BACKWARDS, KRISS KROSS. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 218 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,399 KRISS KROSS. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. THEIR INITIALS ARE K-K, WHICH IS 219 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,701 THAT'S RIDICULOUS. THEIR INITIALS ARE K-K, WHICH IS ONE LESS THAN THE EX PRESIDENT 220 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,170 THEIR INITIALS ARE K-K, WHICH IS ONE LESS THAN THE EX PRESIDENT PREFERS. 221 00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,639 ONE LESS THAN THE EX PRESIDENT PREFERS. BUT THE BACKWARD PANTS PARTY 222 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,641 PREFERS. BUT THE BACKWARD PANTS PARTY ABRUPTLY ENDED WHEN THE 223 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,142 BUT THE BACKWARD PANTS PARTY ABRUPTLY ENDED WHEN THE FACT-SHACKLERS OVER AT 224 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,011 ABRUPTLY ENDED WHEN THE FACT-SHACKLERS OVER AT SNOPES.COM CLARIFIED, NO, THE 225 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:28,380 FACT-SHACKLERS OVER AT SNOPES.COM CLARIFIED, NO, THE FORMER PRESIDENT DID NOT WEAR 226 00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:28,814 SNOPES.COM CLARIFIED, NO, THE FORMER PRESIDENT DID NOT WEAR HIS PANTS BACKWARDS. 227 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,148 FORMER PRESIDENT DID NOT WEAR HIS PANTS BACKWARDS. OH, THEN I GUESS WE WON'T HAVE A 228 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,050 HIS PANTS BACKWARDS. OH, THEN I GUESS WE WON'T HAVE A THIRD IMPEACHMENT TRIAL NOW. 229 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:32,717 OH, THEN I GUESS WE WON'T HAVE A THIRD IMPEACHMENT TRIAL NOW. IT'S A SHAME BECAUSE THEY'VE 230 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:36,154 THIRD IMPEACHMENT TRIAL NOW. IT'S A SHAME BECAUSE THEY'VE ALREADY DRAFTED THE ARTICLES OF 231 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:36,688 IT'S A SHAME BECAUSE THEY'VE ALREADY DRAFTED THE ARTICLES OF IM-PANTS-MENT. 232 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,023 ALREADY DRAFTED THE ARTICLES OF IM-PANTS-MENT. THE FACT CHECKER EXPLAINED THAT 233 00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,025 IM-PANTS-MENT. THE FACT CHECKER EXPLAINED THAT SNOPES LOOKED THROUGH 234 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:40,725 THE FACT CHECKER EXPLAINED THAT SNOPES LOOKED THROUGH PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN AT THE EVENT 235 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:43,361 SNOPES LOOKED THROUGH PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN AT THE EVENT AND PUBLISHED BY THE VISUAL 236 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,329 PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN AT THE EVENT AND PUBLISHED BY THE VISUAL MEDIA COMPANY GETTY IMAGES THAT 237 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:44,830 AND PUBLISHED BY THE VISUAL MEDIA COMPANY GETTY IMAGES THAT CLEARLY SHOW THE FORMER 238 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:48,166 MEDIA COMPANY GETTY IMAGES THAT CLEARLY SHOW THE FORMER PRESIDENT ON STAGE WEARING PANTS 239 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,835 CLEARLY SHOW THE FORMER PRESIDENT ON STAGE WEARING PANTS WITH A ZIPPER IN THE FRONT. 240 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,236 PRESIDENT ON STAGE WEARING PANTS WITH A ZIPPER IN THE FRONT. ADDING, HOW IS THIS MY JOB? 241 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:51,670 WITH A ZIPPER IN THE FRONT. ADDING, HOW IS THIS MY JOB? MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT. 242 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:52,671 ADDING, HOW IS THIS MY JOB? MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT. I SHOULD HAVE WORKED FOR DAD AT 243 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:56,708 MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT. I SHOULD HAVE WORKED FOR DAD AT THE LUMBER YARD. 244 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,410 I SHOULD HAVE WORKED FOR DAD AT THE LUMBER YARD. APPARENTLY, THE ORIGINAL VIDEO 245 00:07:58,412 --> 00:07:59,177 THE LUMBER YARD. APPARENTLY, THE ORIGINAL VIDEO IS LOW RES, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT 246 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,145 APPARENTLY, THE ORIGINAL VIDEO IS LOW RES, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE HI RES IMAGE, IT'S CLEAR 247 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:03,448 IS LOW RES, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE HI RES IMAGE, IT'S CLEAR HE'S GOT A ZIPPER. 248 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,082 THE HI RES IMAGE, IT'S CLEAR HE'S GOT A ZIPPER. NORMALLY, WHEN YOU PAY THAT MUCH 249 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,151 HE'S GOT A ZIPPER. NORMALLY, WHEN YOU PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO HIS CROTCH, YOU GET 250 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,353 NORMALLY, WHEN YOU PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO HIS CROTCH, YOU GET $130,000. 251 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:08,987 ATTENTION TO HIS CROTCH, YOU GET $130,000. BUT THIS IS ALARMING, BECAUSE IT 252 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,723 $130,000. BUT THIS IS ALARMING, BECAUSE IT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING: 253 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:12,357 BUT THIS IS ALARMING, BECAUSE IT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING: SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET ISN'T 254 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:19,764 CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING: SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET ISN'T TRUE! 255 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:23,034 SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET ISN'T TRUE! YOU KNOW FOLKS, MOVING ON, 256 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,102 TRUE! YOU KNOW FOLKS, MOVING ON, AMERICA'S BILLIONAIRES ARE LIKE 257 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:24,703 YOU KNOW FOLKS, MOVING ON, AMERICA'S BILLIONAIRES ARE LIKE UNICORNS: RARELY SEEN, MOSTLY 258 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:25,270 AMERICA'S BILLIONAIRES ARE LIKE UNICORNS: RARELY SEEN, MOSTLY WHITE, HORNY, AND DON'T PAY 259 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,707 UNICORNS: RARELY SEEN, MOSTLY WHITE, HORNY, AND DON'T PAY TAXES. 260 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:32,010 WHITE, HORNY, AND DON'T PAY TAXES. BUT THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND: 261 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:32,711 TAXES. BUT THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND: YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL 262 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,012 BUT THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND: YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL MULTIBILLIONAIRE PUTTERS AROUND 263 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,147 YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL MULTIBILLIONAIRE PUTTERS AROUND IN THEIR PERSONAL SUBMARINE LIKE 264 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:36,748 MULTIBILLIONAIRE PUTTERS AROUND IN THEIR PERSONAL SUBMARINE LIKE SOME KIND OF SEA PEASANT, AND 265 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:40,085 IN THEIR PERSONAL SUBMARINE LIKE SOME KIND OF SEA PEASANT, AND THE TRUE HYPER-ELITES HAVE THEIR 266 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:40,719 SOME KIND OF SEA PEASANT, AND THE TRUE HYPER-ELITES HAVE THEIR OWN SPACE PROGRAMS. 267 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,188 THE TRUE HYPER-ELITES HAVE THEIR OWN SPACE PROGRAMS. I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST 268 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,891 OWN SPACE PROGRAMS. I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF -- 269 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,159 I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF -- (ECHOING) 270 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:52,030 IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF -- (ECHOING) SPAAACE NEEEEWWS! 271 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,165 (ECHOING) SPAAACE NEEEEWWS! BILLIONAIRES IN SPACE EDITION! 272 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,267 SPAAACE NEEEEWWS! BILLIONAIRES IN SPACE EDITION! FIRST UP, AMAZON FOUNDER AND 273 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:55,967 BILLIONAIRES IN SPACE EDITION! FIRST UP, AMAZON FOUNDER AND HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE TEACHER 274 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:56,701 FIRST UP, AMAZON FOUNDER AND HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE TEACHER HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS, JEFF 275 00:08:56,703 --> 00:09:00,105 HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE TEACHER HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS, JEFF BEZOS. 276 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:04,709 HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS, JEFF BEZOS. TODAY, WE FOUND OUT THAT BEZOS 277 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,144 BEZOS. TODAY, WE FOUND OUT THAT BEZOS IS GOING TO SPACE. 278 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,046 TODAY, WE FOUND OUT THAT BEZOS IS GOING TO SPACE. THAT IS FANTASTIC! 279 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,449 IS GOING TO SPACE. THAT IS FANTASTIC! ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE 280 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:11,650 THAT IS FANTASTIC! ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT 281 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,150 ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR-- WHAT'S THAT? 282 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,753 GIANT LEAP FOR-- WHAT'S THAT? HE'S COMING BACK? 283 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,054 LEAP FOR-- WHAT'S THAT? HE'S COMING BACK? NEVER MIND. 284 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:16,688 HE'S COMING BACK? NEVER MIND. BEZOS IS GOING TO BE RIDING 285 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,156 NEVER MIND. BEZOS IS GOING TO BE RIDING ON THE FIRST CREWED FLIGHT OF 286 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,291 BEZOS IS GOING TO BE RIDING ON THE FIRST CREWED FLIGHT OF THE NEW SHEPARD, THE ROCKET SHIP 287 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,692 ON THE FIRST CREWED FLIGHT OF THE NEW SHEPARD, THE ROCKET SHIP MADE BY HIS SPACE COMPANY, BLUE 288 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:23,495 THE NEW SHEPARD, THE ROCKET SHIP MADE BY HIS SPACE COMPANY, BLUE ORIGIN. 289 00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:24,162 MADE BY HIS SPACE COMPANY, BLUE ORIGIN. AS PREPARATION FOR SPACEFLIGHT, 290 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,664 ORIGIN. AS PREPARATION FOR SPACEFLIGHT, BEZOS HAS ASKED HIS WAREHOUSE 291 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,700 AS PREPARATION FOR SPACEFLIGHT, BEZOS HAS ASKED HIS WAREHOUSE WORKERS TO SHOW HIM HOW TO PEE 292 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,035 BEZOS HAS ASKED HIS WAREHOUSE WORKERS TO SHOW HIM HOW TO PEE DISCREETLY INTO A TUBE. 293 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:30,635 WORKERS TO SHOW HIM HOW TO PEE DISCREETLY INTO A TUBE. BEZOS IS GOING TO GO UP THERE 294 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,704 DISCREETLY INTO A TUBE. BEZOS IS GOING TO GO UP THERE WITH HIS BROTHER, WHICH IS NICE, 295 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,873 BEZOS IS GOING TO GO UP THERE WITH HIS BROTHER, WHICH IS NICE, BUT THE BEZOS BRO SPACE 296 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,141 WITH HIS BROTHER, WHICH IS NICE, BUT THE BEZOS BRO SPACE ADVENTURE WILL BE SHORT BECAUSE, 297 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:36,775 BUT THE BEZOS BRO SPACE ADVENTURE WILL BE SHORT BECAUSE, THE ASTRONAUTS WILL, EXPERIENCE 298 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:40,712 ADVENTURE WILL BE SHORT BECAUSE, THE ASTRONAUTS WILL, EXPERIENCE WEIGHTLESSNESS FOR NEARLY THREE 299 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,147 THE ASTRONAUTS WILL, EXPERIENCE WEIGHTLESSNESS FOR NEARLY THREE MINUTES. 300 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,049 WEIGHTLESSNESS FOR NEARLY THREE MINUTES. OR AS AMAZON WAREHOUSE WORKERS 301 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:44,516 MINUTES. OR AS AMAZON WAREHOUSE WORKERS CALL IT: LUNCH. 302 00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:45,016 OR AS AMAZON WAREHOUSE WORKERS CALL IT: LUNCH. OF COURSE, BEZOS'S CHIEF 303 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:52,724 CALL IT: LUNCH. OF COURSE, BEZOS'S CHIEF BILLIONAIRE RIVAL IN SPACE 304 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,659 OF COURSE, BEZOS'S CHIEF BILLIONAIRE RIVAL IN SPACE EXPLORATION IS 305 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:54,859 BILLIONAIRE RIVAL IN SPACE EXPLORATION IS SpaceX 306 00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:55,760 EXPLORATION IS SpaceX FOUNDER AND COMEDIC VOICE OF A 307 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,227 SpaceX FOUNDER AND COMEDIC VOICE OF A GENERATION, ELON MUSK. 308 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:56,828 FOUNDER AND COMEDIC VOICE OF A GENERATION, ELON MUSK. THIS TRIP MEANS THAT BEZOS IS 309 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,698 GENERATION, ELON MUSK. THIS TRIP MEANS THAT BEZOS IS GETTING TO SPACE BEFORE MUSK. 310 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,332 THIS TRIP MEANS THAT BEZOS IS GETTING TO SPACE BEFORE MUSK. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MUSK'S SPACE 311 00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:00,966 GETTING TO SPACE BEFORE MUSK. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MUSK'S SPACE X HAD SOME SWEET NASA CONTRACTS, 312 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,867 NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MUSK'S SPACE X HAD SOME SWEET NASA CONTRACTS, BUT JUST LAST MONTH FOLLOWING 313 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,703 X HAD SOME SWEET NASA CONTRACTS, BUT JUST LAST MONTH FOLLOWING PROTESTS FROM JEFF BEZOS' BLUE 314 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:05,870 BUT JUST LAST MONTH FOLLOWING PROTESTS FROM JEFF BEZOS' BLUE ORIGIN, NASA AND SPACEX'S $2.9 315 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:06,404 PROTESTS FROM JEFF BEZOS' BLUE ORIGIN, NASA AND SPACEX'S $2.9 BILLION CONTRACT HAS BEEN 316 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,107 ORIGIN, NASA AND SPACEX'S $2.9 BILLION CONTRACT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED. 317 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,643 BILLION CONTRACT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED. BUT MUSK HASN'T TAKEN IT LYING 318 00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:11,910 SUSPENDED. BUT MUSK HASN'T TAKEN IT LYING DOWN. 319 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:12,510 BUT MUSK HASN'T TAKEN IT LYING DOWN. IN RESPONSE TO BEZOS' PROTEST, 320 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:15,747 DOWN. IN RESPONSE TO BEZOS' PROTEST, HE TWEETED 321 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,715 IN RESPONSE TO BEZOS' PROTEST, HE TWEETED CAN'T GET IT UP -- 322 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:17,816 HE TWEETED CAN'T GET IT UP -- TO ORBIT -- LOL. 323 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,719 CAN'T GET IT UP -- TO ORBIT -- LOL. CAN'T GET IT UP? 324 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:24,155 TO ORBIT -- LOL. CAN'T GET IT UP? HAVE YOU SEEN JEFF BEZOS? 325 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:24,723 CAN'T GET IT UP? HAVE YOU SEEN JEFF BEZOS? HE IS IT UP IN A BLUE SHIRT. 326 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:28,727 HAVE YOU SEEN JEFF BEZOS? HE IS IT UP IN A BLUE SHIRT. NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE NOT 327 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,029 HE IS IT UP IN A BLUE SHIRT. NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE NOT ASKING: JUST WHY ARE THESE 328 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:31,663 NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE NOT ASKING: JUST WHY ARE THESE BILLION-AHOLES GOING AT IT LIKE 329 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:36,167 ASKING: JUST WHY ARE THESE BILLION-AHOLES GOING AT IT LIKE THIS? 330 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:36,801 BILLION-AHOLES GOING AT IT LIKE THIS? MAYBE BECAUSE THERE ARE DEFENSE 331 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,638 THIS? MAYBE BECAUSE THERE ARE DEFENSE CONTRACTS AND SATELLITE BASED 332 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:40,705 MAYBE BECAUSE THERE ARE DEFENSE CONTRACTS AND SATELLITE BASED INTERNET DEALS AT STAKE WITH 333 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:45,577 CONTRACTS AND SATELLITE BASED INTERNET DEALS AT STAKE WITH TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO BE MADE. 334 00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:45,844 INTERNET DEALS AT STAKE WITH TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO BE MADE. TRILLIONS! 335 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,146 TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO BE MADE. TRILLIONS! IF ONE OF THESE GUYS MADE A 336 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:48,780 TRILLIONS! IF ONE OF THESE GUYS MADE A TRILLION BUCKS, IMAGINE HOW MUCH 337 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:54,119 IF ONE OF THESE GUYS MADE A TRILLION BUCKS, IMAGINE HOW MUCH NO TAXES THEY WOULD PAY. 338 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,720 TRILLION BUCKS, IMAGINE HOW MUCH NO TAXES THEY WOULD PAY. IN OTHER SPACE NEWS, IT FEELS 339 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:56,721 NO TAXES THEY WOULD PAY. IN OTHER SPACE NEWS, IT FEELS LIKE FOR THE LAST MONTH, WE'VE 340 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,890 IN OTHER SPACE NEWS, IT FEELS LIKE FOR THE LAST MONTH, WE'VE BEEN GETTING NEW HOT SCOOPS 341 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,125 LIKE FOR THE LAST MONTH, WE'VE BEEN GETTING NEW HOT SCOOPS ABOUT U.F.O.S, WITH ALL KINDS OF 342 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:04,362 BEEN GETTING NEW HOT SCOOPS ABOUT U.F.O.S, WITH ALL KINDS OF UNEXPLAINED OBJECTS ZOOMING 343 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:04,929 ABOUT U.F.O.S, WITH ALL KINDS OF UNEXPLAINED OBJECTS ZOOMING AROUND NEAR THE US MILITARY 344 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:05,463 UNEXPLAINED OBJECTS ZOOMING AROUND NEAR THE US MILITARY CAPTURED IN SHAKY, GRAINY 345 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,365 AROUND NEAR THE US MILITARY CAPTURED IN SHAKY, GRAINY FOOTAGE. 346 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,700 CAPTURED IN SHAKY, GRAINY FOOTAGE. IT'S ALL PART OF THE BUILDUP TO 347 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:12,170 FOOTAGE. IT'S ALL PART OF THE BUILDUP TO THE RELEASE OF AN UPCOMING 348 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,739 IT'S ALL PART OF THE BUILDUP TO THE RELEASE OF AN UPCOMING GOVERNMENT REPORT ON U.F.O.S. 349 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,675 THE RELEASE OF AN UPCOMING GOVERNMENT REPORT ON U.F.O.S. IT'S NOT OUT YET, BUT THERE'S 350 00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:17,942 GOVERNMENT REPORT ON U.F.O.S. IT'S NOT OUT YET, BUT THERE'S GOOD NEWS: OFFICIALS HAVE BEEN 351 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:18,543 IT'S NOT OUT YET, BUT THERE'S GOOD NEWS: OFFICIALS HAVE BEEN BRIEFED ON THE FINDINGS, AND, 352 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:22,714 GOOD NEWS: OFFICIALS HAVE BEEN BRIEFED ON THE FINDINGS, AND, FOLKS, WE'VE GOT THE INSIDE 353 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,115 BRIEFED ON THE FINDINGS, AND, FOLKS, WE'VE GOT THE INSIDE SCOOP. 354 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,718 FOLKS, WE'VE GOT THE INSIDE SCOOP. GRAB YOUR TINFOIL AND HIDE YOUR 355 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,652 SCOOP. GRAB YOUR TINFOIL AND HIDE YOUR BRAINWAVES BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, 356 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,720 GRAB YOUR TINFOIL AND HIDE YOUR BRAINWAVES BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, U.S. FINDS NO EVIDENCE OF ALIEN 357 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,155 BRAINWAVES BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, U.S. FINDS NO EVIDENCE OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY IN FLYING OBJECTS, 358 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:35,627 U.S. FINDS NO EVIDENCE OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY IN FLYING OBJECTS, BUT CAN'T RULE IT OUT, EITHER. 359 00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:36,161 TECHNOLOGY IN FLYING OBJECTS, BUT CAN'T RULE IT OUT, EITHER. OH, MY GOD! 360 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:36,795 BUT CAN'T RULE IT OUT, EITHER. OH, MY GOD! THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE KNOWN THAT 361 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:40,165 OH, MY GOD! THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE KNOWN THAT WOULD BE TO HAVE NOT READ THE 362 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:40,699 THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE KNOWN THAT WOULD BE TO HAVE NOT READ THE REPORT. 363 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:44,669 WOULD BE TO HAVE NOT READ THE REPORT. COME ON, NASA, THAT'S NOT 364 00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:45,904 REPORT. COME ON, NASA, THAT'S NOT TELLING US ANYTHING. 365 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,405 COME ON, NASA, THAT'S NOT TELLING US ANYTHING. THERE'S A REASON THE X-FILES 366 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,173 TELLING US ANYTHING. THERE'S A REASON THE X-FILES SLOGAN WASN'T 367 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:52,277 THERE'S A REASON THE X-FILES SLOGAN WASN'T THERE IS NO EVIDENCE FOR THE 368 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:52,744 SLOGAN WASN'T THERE IS NO EVIDENCE FOR THE TRUTH BEING OUT THERE. 369 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:53,378 THERE IS NO EVIDENCE FOR THE TRUTH BEING OUT THERE. BUT WE CAN'T RULE OUT THE TRUTH 370 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:53,945 TRUTH BEING OUT THERE. BUT WE CAN'T RULE OUT THE TRUTH BEING NOT IN HERE. 371 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:54,479 BUT WE CAN'T RULE OUT THE TRUTH BEING NOT IN HERE. IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE JUST 372 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,113 BEING NOT IN HERE. IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE JUST FILING THIS REPORT BECAUSE THEY 373 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:55,680 IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE JUST FILING THIS REPORT BECAUSE THEY PROMISED TO HAVE IT READY BY 374 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:55,947 FILING THIS REPORT BECAUSE THEY PROMISED TO HAVE IT READY BY JUNE. 375 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:56,715 PROMISED TO HAVE IT READY BY JUNE. THE REPORT ITSELF CONCEDES THAT 376 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:57,482 JUNE. THE REPORT ITSELF CONCEDES THAT MUCH ABOUT THE OBSERVED 377 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,149 THE REPORT ITSELF CONCEDES THAT MUCH ABOUT THE OBSERVED PHENOMENA REMAINS DIFFICULT TO 378 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,017 MUCH ABOUT THE OBSERVED PHENOMENA REMAINS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN, INCLUDING THEIR 379 00:11:59,019 --> 00:11:59,651 PHENOMENA REMAINS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN, INCLUDING THEIR ACCELERATION, AS WELL AS ABILITY 380 00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:00,151 EXPLAIN, INCLUDING THEIR ACCELERATION, AS WELL AS ABILITY TO CHANGE DIRECTION AND 381 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,220 ACCELERATION, AS WELL AS ABILITY TO CHANGE DIRECTION AND SUBMERGE. 382 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,723 TO CHANGE DIRECTION AND SUBMERGE. WELL, IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, 383 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,459 SUBMERGE. WELL, IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, THEN MAYBE DON'T TURN IN THE 384 00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:07,792 WELL, IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, THEN MAYBE DON'T TURN IN THE REPORT YET. 385 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:08,660 THEN MAYBE DON'T TURN IN THE REPORT YET. YOU'RE LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL 386 00:12:08,662 --> 00:12:09,761 REPORT YET. YOU'RE LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR: 387 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:10,662 YOU'RE LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR: "MOBY DICK IS ABOUT A WHALE AND 388 00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:11,963 JUNIOR: "MOBY DICK IS ABOUT A WHALE AND A MAN ON A BOAT AND SOME STUFF 389 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:12,597 "MOBY DICK IS ABOUT A WHALE AND A MAN ON A BOAT AND SOME STUFF ABOUT KNOTS, BUT THE REST OF THE 390 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:13,131 A MAN ON A BOAT AND SOME STUFF ABOUT KNOTS, BUT THE REST OF THE BOOK REMAINS DIFFICULT TO 391 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:13,765 ABOUT KNOTS, BUT THE REST OF THE BOOK REMAINS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN BECAUSE I DIDN'T FINISH 392 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,233 BOOK REMAINS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN BECAUSE I DIDN'T FINISH IT. 393 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:15,800 EXPLAIN BECAUSE I DIDN'T FINISH IT. TONY HAD EVERYBODY UP TO THE 394 00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:16,701 IT. TONY HAD EVERYBODY UP TO THE LAKE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND. 395 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:20,705 TONY HAD EVERYBODY UP TO THE LAKE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND. CALL ME ISHMAEL." 396 00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,707 LAKE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND. CALL ME ISHMAEL." THE ONLY CONCRETE ASSERTION THAT 397 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:23,408 CALL ME ISHMAEL." THE ONLY CONCRETE ASSERTION THAT THE GOVERNMENT MAKES IS THAT THE 398 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,142 THE ONLY CONCRETE ASSERTION THAT THE GOVERNMENT MAKES IS THAT THE LAST 20 YEARS OF U.F.O. 399 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:24,876 THE GOVERNMENT MAKES IS THAT THE LAST 20 YEARS OF U.F.O. INCIDENTS DID NOT ORIGINATE FROM 400 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,412 LAST 20 YEARS OF U.F.O. INCIDENTS DID NOT ORIGINATE FROM ANY AMERICAN MILITARY OR OTHER 401 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,713 INCIDENTS DID NOT ORIGINATE FROM ANY AMERICAN MILITARY OR OTHER ADVANCED U.S. GOVERNMENT 402 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:32,450 ANY AMERICAN MILITARY OR OTHER ADVANCED U.S. GOVERNMENT TECHNOLOGY. 403 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:32,984 ADVANCED U.S. GOVERNMENT TECHNOLOGY. SO IT IS TOTALLY AMERICAN 404 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,320 TECHNOLOGY. SO IT IS TOTALLY AMERICAN MILITARY OR OTHER ADVANCED US 405 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:35,920 SO IT IS TOTALLY AMERICAN MILITARY OR OTHER ADVANCED US GOVERNMENT TECHNOLOGY. 406 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:36,554 MILITARY OR OTHER ADVANCED US GOVERNMENT TECHNOLOGY. BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA 407 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:40,492 GOVERNMENT TECHNOLOGY. BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA LIE. 408 00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:41,126 BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA LIE. THAT'S WHY IN THE 80S YOU NEVER 409 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,127 LIE. THAT'S WHY IN THE 80S YOU NEVER SAW A GOVERNMENT REPORT TITLED: 410 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,561 THAT'S WHY IN THE 80S YOU NEVER SAW A GOVERNMENT REPORT TITLED: OKAY, YOU GOT US. 411 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,162 SAW A GOVERNMENT REPORT TITLED: OKAY, YOU GOT US. CARDS ON THE TABLE: WE BUILT A 412 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:44,763 OKAY, YOU GOT US. CARDS ON THE TABLE: WE BUILT A STEALTH BOMBER LOOK HOW BADASS 413 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,932 CARDS ON THE TABLE: WE BUILT A STEALTH BOMBER LOOK HOW BADASS THIS IS! 414 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:48,433 STEALTH BOMBER LOOK HOW BADASS THIS IS! BUT THEY INSIST IT'S NOT 415 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,000 THIS IS! BUT THEY INSIST IT'S NOT AMERICAN, AND SOME OFFICIALS 416 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:52,504 BUT THEY INSIST IT'S NOT AMERICAN, AND SOME OFFICIALS BELIEVE THE PHENOMENA COULD HAVE 417 00:12:52,506 --> 00:12:53,071 AMERICAN, AND SOME OFFICIALS BELIEVE THE PHENOMENA COULD HAVE BEEN EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY 418 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,139 BELIEVE THE PHENOMENA COULD HAVE BEEN EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY FROM A RIVAL POWER, MOST LIKELY 419 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:58,643 BEEN EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY FROM A RIVAL POWER, MOST LIKELY RUSSIA OR CHINA. 420 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,111 FROM A RIVAL POWER, MOST LIKELY RUSSIA OR CHINA. HMM, JIM, CAN YOU SHOW ME A 421 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,947 RUSSIA OR CHINA. HMM, JIM, CAN YOU SHOW ME A STILL OF THAT FOOTAGE? 422 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,616 HMM, JIM, CAN YOU SHOW ME A STILL OF THAT FOOTAGE? CAN YOU ZOOM IN? 423 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,117 STILL OF THAT FOOTAGE? CAN YOU ZOOM IN? NOW ENHANCE... 424 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,286 CAN YOU ZOOM IN? NOW ENHANCE... BUSTED! 425 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:08,887 NOW ENHANCE... BUSTED! AT THAT ALTITUDE, HIS NIPPLES 426 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:12,157 BUSTED! AT THAT ALTITUDE, HIS NIPPLES MUST BE LIKE DIAMONDS. 427 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:16,661 AT THAT ALTITUDE, HIS NIPPLES MUST BE LIKE DIAMONDS. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 428 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,062 MUST BE LIKE DIAMONDS. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 429 00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:18,630 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS CHRIS MATTHEWS. 430 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,497 TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS CHRIS MATTHEWS. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, OUR 431 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,198 MY GUEST IS CHRIS MATTHEWS. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, OUR UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE 432 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:20,832 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, OUR UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE PLUNKETT EXPLORES THIS SUMMER'S 433 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:24,102 UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE PLUNKETT EXPLORES THIS SUMMER'S CICADA SWARM. 434 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:24,702 PLUNKETT EXPLORES THIS SUMMER'S CICADA SWARM. STICK AROUND. 435 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:28,673 CICADA SWARM. STICK AROUND. ♪♪♪ 436 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:55,466 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," 437 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:55,733 >> Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. 438 00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:56,334 WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. AS MORE PEOPLE GET VACCINATED 439 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,502 EVERYBODY. AS MORE PEOPLE GET VACCINATED AND THE COUNTRY RE-OPENS, 440 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,102 AS MORE PEOPLE GET VACCINATED AND THE COUNTRY RE-OPENS, THERE'S SO MANY THINGS PEOPLE 441 00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:00,505 AND THE COUNTRY RE-OPENS, THERE'S SO MANY THINGS PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING 442 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:06,344 THERE'S SO MANY THINGS PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING AGAIN THIS SUMMER -- 443 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,178 ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING AGAIN THIS SUMMER -- LIKE TRAVELING AND HUGGING 444 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:07,946 AGAIN THIS SUMMER -- LIKE TRAVELING AND HUGGING RELATIVES, AND HEARING THE 445 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:08,546 LIKE TRAVELING AND HUGGING RELATIVES, AND HEARING THE PIERCING SHRIEK OF BILLIONS OF 446 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,981 RELATIVES, AND HEARING THE PIERCING SHRIEK OF BILLIONS OF CICADAS AS THEY EMERGE ALL OVER 447 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:10,882 PIERCING SHRIEK OF BILLIONS OF CICADAS AS THEY EMERGE ALL OVER THE EASTERN UNITED STATES -- 448 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:11,749 CICADAS AS THEY EMERGE ALL OVER THE EASTERN UNITED STATES -- BECAUSE THIS SUMMER MARKS THE 449 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:12,483 THE EASTERN UNITED STATES -- BECAUSE THIS SUMMER MARKS THE RETURN OF THE "BROOD X" CICADAS, 450 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,218 BECAUSE THIS SUMMER MARKS THE RETURN OF THE "BROOD X" CICADAS, WHICH EMERGE EVERY 17 YEARS, 451 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:13,985 RETURN OF THE "BROOD X" CICADAS, WHICH EMERGE EVERY 17 YEARS, MEANING THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABOVE 452 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,220 WHICH EMERGE EVERY 17 YEARS, MEANING THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABOVE GROUND SINCE 2004. 453 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,087 MEANING THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABOVE GROUND SINCE 2004. SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY'RE 454 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:16,688 GROUND SINCE 2004. SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY'RE STILL WEARING TRUCKER HATS AND 455 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:20,525 SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY'RE STILL WEARING TRUCKER HATS AND UGG BOOTS. 456 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,427 STILL WEARING TRUCKER HATS AND UGG BOOTS. THE FACT THAT THESE LARGE, NOISY 457 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,061 UGG BOOTS. THE FACT THAT THESE LARGE, NOISY INSECTS CRAWL OUT OF THE GROUND 458 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,495 THE FACT THAT THESE LARGE, NOISY INSECTS CRAWL OUT OF THE GROUND EVERY 17 YEARS CAN BE HARD TO 459 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,196 INSECTS CRAWL OUT OF THE GROUND EVERY 17 YEARS CAN BE HARD TO UNDERSTAND. 460 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:25,964 EVERY 17 YEARS CAN BE HARD TO UNDERSTAND. BUT, THANKFULLY, WE HERE AT THE 461 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,533 UNDERSTAND. BUT, THANKFULLY, WE HERE AT THE LATE SHOW HAVE AN EXPERT IN NOT 462 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,201 BUT, THANKFULLY, WE HERE AT THE LATE SHOW HAVE AN EXPERT IN NOT UNDERSTANDING THINGS. 463 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,803 LATE SHOW HAVE AN EXPERT IN NOT UNDERSTANDING THINGS. HER NAME IS BOOTSIE PLUNKETT. 464 00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:32,370 UNDERSTANDING THINGS. HER NAME IS BOOTSIE PLUNKETT. SHE'S THE MOTHER OF MY FIELD 465 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,205 HER NAME IS BOOTSIE PLUNKETT. SHE'S THE MOTHER OF MY FIELD PRODUCER, JAKE PLUNKETT. 466 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,406 SHE'S THE MOTHER OF MY FIELD PRODUCER, JAKE PLUNKETT. AND SHE IS ALSO THE LATE SHOW'S 467 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,474 PRODUCER, JAKE PLUNKETT. AND SHE IS ALSO THE LATE SHOW'S OFFICIAL UNINFORMED 468 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,543 AND SHE IS ALSO THE LATE SHOW'S OFFICIAL UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT. 469 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:42,146 OFFICIAL UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT. BOOTSIE USES HER UNIQUE 470 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,982 CORRESPONDENT. BOOTSIE USES HER UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE TO HELP US ALL GET A 471 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,317 BOOTSIE USES HER UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE TO HELP US ALL GET A LITTLE LESS UN-INFORMED. 472 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:46,951 PERSPECTIVE TO HELP US ALL GET A LITTLE LESS UN-INFORMED. AND, RECENTLY, JAKE TOOK HER TO 473 00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:47,585 LITTLE LESS UN-INFORMED. AND, RECENTLY, JAKE TOOK HER TO LEARN ABOUT THESE INSECTS AT NEW 474 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,486 AND, RECENTLY, JAKE TOOK HER TO LEARN ABOUT THESE INSECTS AT NEW YORK'S MUSEUM OF NATURAL 475 00:14:48,488 --> 00:15:00,498 LEARN ABOUT THESE INSECTS AT NEW YORK'S MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. 476 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,901 YORK'S MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. ( CICADA SOUNDS ) 477 00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:05,570 HISTORY. ( CICADA SOUNDS ) >> I TOOK MY MOM TO THE AMERICAN 478 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,604 ( CICADA SOUNDS ) >> I TOOK MY MOM TO THE AMERICAN MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY TO SEE 479 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,006 >> I TOOK MY MOM TO THE AMERICAN MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY TO SEE IF SHE COULD CONQUER HER FEAR OF 480 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:12,677 MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY TO SEE IF SHE COULD CONQUER HER FEAR OF BUGS BEFORE THEY MAKE THEIR 481 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:12,944 IF SHE COULD CONQUER HER FEAR OF BUGS BEFORE THEY MAKE THEIR ENTRANCE. 482 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:13,978 BUGS BEFORE THEY MAKE THEIR ENTRANCE. DO YOU LIKE SCIENCE AS A 483 00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:14,712 ENTRANCE. DO YOU LIKE SCIENCE AS A SUBJECT. 484 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,513 DO YOU LIKE SCIENCE AS A SUBJECT. >> YES, I DO. 485 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,315 SUBJECT. >> YES, I DO. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF 486 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:17,582 >> YES, I DO. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF SCIENCE. 487 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,951 WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF SCIENCE. >> HOW YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE. 488 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:20,985 SCIENCE. >> HOW YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE. THAT -- WHAT? 489 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:24,689 >> HOW YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE. THAT -- WHAT? HOW DO YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE? 490 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:24,956 THAT -- WHAT? HOW DO YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE? >> MM-HMM. 491 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,624 HOW DO YOU TURN WATER INTO WINE? >> MM-HMM. I THINK THAT'S A BIBLE THING. 492 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,493 >> MM-HMM. I THINK THAT'S A BIBLE THING. WELL, THE BIG THING TODAY IS 493 00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:34,432 I THINK THAT'S A BIBLE THING. WELL, THE BIG THING TODAY IS WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT IS 494 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,333 WELL, THE BIG THING TODAY IS WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT IS BRUTE CICADAS. 495 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,969 WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT IS BRUTE CICADAS. THAT HAPPENS EVERY 16 OR 17 496 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:38,303 BRUTE CICADAS. THAT HAPPENS EVERY 16 OR 17 YEARS. 497 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,438 THAT HAPPENS EVERY 16 OR 17 YEARS. >> THEY I'LL COME OUT AND DIG UP 498 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,940 YEARS. >> THEY I'LL COME OUT AND DIG UP MY DIRT AND FLY AROUND. 499 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,942 >> THEY I'LL COME OUT AND DIG UP MY DIRT AND FLY AROUND. >> I DON'T THINK THEY WILL RUIN 500 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,009 MY DIRT AND FLY AROUND. >> I DON'T THINK THEY WILL RUIN YOUR LAWN. 501 00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:46,311 >> I DON'T THINK THEY WILL RUIN YOUR LAWN. >> SO YOU HAVE TO BE ON TO 502 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:46,544 YOUR LAWN. >> SO YOU HAVE TO BE ON TO LOOKOUT. 503 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:47,445 >> SO YOU HAVE TO BE ON TO LOOKOUT. >> YOU HEAR THEM. 504 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,179 LOOKOUT. >> YOU HEAR THEM. THEY'RE VERY LOUD. 505 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,248 >> YOU HEAR THEM. THEY'RE VERY LOUD. >> I HEAR THEM IN THE BUSHES, IN 506 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,382 THEY'RE VERY LOUD. >> I HEAR THEM IN THE BUSHES, IN THE SUMMER. 507 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,250 >> I HEAR THEM IN THE BUSHES, IN THE SUMMER. >> YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THESE. 508 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,852 THE SUMMER. >> YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THESE. THEY HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND IN 16 509 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:55,053 >> YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THESE. THEY HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND IN 16 YEARS. 510 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,288 THEY HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND IN 16 YEARS. >> THEN WHAT AM I HEARING? 511 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,624 YEARS. >> THEN WHAT AM I HEARING? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE 512 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,893 >> THEN WHAT AM I HEARING? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE HEARING IN YOUR BUSHES 513 00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:02,293 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE HEARING IN YOUR BUSHES ( HISSING SOUND ) 514 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,529 HEARING IN YOUR BUSHES ( HISSING SOUND ) >> SOUNDS LIKE A SNAKE. 515 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:13,705 ( HISSING SOUND ) >> SOUNDS LIKE A SNAKE. NO, CICADAS. 516 00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:16,975 >> SOUNDS LIKE A SNAKE. NO, CICADAS. WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT 517 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:21,045 NO, CICADAS. WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT CICADAs -- PRONOUNCING ). 518 00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,380 WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT CICADAs -- PRONOUNCING ). >> DON'T BRING A BIG NEAR ME I 519 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:25,450 CICADAs -- PRONOUNCING ). >> DON'T BRING A BIG NEAR ME I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE LIKE HELL. 520 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,419 >> DON'T BRING A BIG NEAR ME I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE LIKE HELL. >> TIME FOR MY MOM TO TALK ABOUT 521 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,488 WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE LIKE HELL. >> TIME FOR MY MOM TO TALK ABOUT DR. JESSICAWARE IN THE HALL OF 522 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:30,888 >> TIME FOR MY MOM TO TALK ABOUT DR. JESSICAWARE IN THE HALL OF BIODIVERSITY. 523 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:42,133 DR. JESSICAWARE IN THE HALL OF BIODIVERSITY. >> SO WE'RE LEARNING A AND 524 00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,334 BIODIVERSITY. >> SO WE'RE LEARNING A AND DISAYDAS TODAY? 525 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,303 >> SO WE'RE LEARNING A AND DISAYDAS TODAY? >> ANNUAL ONES COME OUT EVERY 526 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,704 DISAYDAS TODAY? >> ANNUAL ONES COME OUT EVERY YEAR BUT THE PERIODICAL ONES 527 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,773 >> ANNUAL ONES COME OUT EVERY YEAR BUT THE PERIODICAL ONES COME OUT EVERY 13 OR 17 YEARS. 528 00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:51,542 YEAR BUT THE PERIODICAL ONES COME OUT EVERY 13 OR 17 YEARS. >> A LONG TIME, THEY MUST BE 529 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:54,245 COME OUT EVERY 13 OR 17 YEARS. >> A LONG TIME, THEY MUST BE BORED DOWN THERE 17 YEARS! 530 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,179 >> A LONG TIME, THEY MUST BE BORED DOWN THERE 17 YEARS! >> THIS IS THEIR LIFE. 531 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,714 BORED DOWN THERE 17 YEARS! >> THIS IS THEIR LIFE. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THEIR 532 00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,284 >> THIS IS THEIR LIFE. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THEIR WHOLE LIFE, AS A CHILD, IN THE 533 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,753 IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THEIR WHOLE LIFE, AS A CHILD, IN THE JUVENILE STAGE, THEN THEIR ADULT 534 00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:03,721 WHOLE LIFE, AS A CHILD, IN THE JUVENILE STAGE, THEN THEIR ADULT LIFE IS JUST A FEW WEEKS. 535 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,289 JUVENILE STAGE, THEN THEIR ADULT LIFE IS JUST A FEW WEEKS. BUT 17 YEARS IN YOUR JUVENILE 536 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,625 LIFE IS JUST A FEW WEEKS. BUT 17 YEARS IN YOUR JUVENILE STAGE, THEN YOUR ADULT IS 537 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:07,859 BUT 17 YEARS IN YOUR JUVENILE STAGE, THEN YOUR ADULT IS JUST -- 538 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,327 STAGE, THEN YOUR ADULT IS JUST -- >> HOW LONG DO THEY LIVE FOR? 539 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,696 JUST -- >> HOW LONG DO THEY LIVE FOR? I THINK IT'S LIKE THREE, FOUR 540 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,830 >> HOW LONG DO THEY LIVE FOR? I THINK IT'S LIKE THREE, FOUR WEEKS OR SO. 541 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,366 I THINK IT'S LIKE THREE, FOUR WEEKS OR SO. >> THEY ONLY LIVE FOR THREE 542 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:15,566 WEEKS OR SO. >> THEY ONLY LIVE FOR THREE WEEKS? 543 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:16,434 >> THEY ONLY LIVE FOR THREE WEEKS? >> AS AN ADULT. 544 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,236 WEEKS? >> AS AN ADULT. WHEN THEY COME UP FROM THE 545 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,537 >> AS AN ADULT. WHEN THEY COME UP FROM THE GROUND. 546 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:19,771 WHEN THEY COME UP FROM THE GROUND. >> YEAH. 547 00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:21,572 GROUND. >> YEAH. OH, THEY SHOULD STAY THERE. 548 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,207 >> YEAH. OH, THEY SHOULD STAY THERE. THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO 549 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,475 OH, THEY SHOULD STAY THERE. THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO THEIR DEMISE. 550 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,511 THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO THEIR DEMISE. >> BUT, I MEAN, THEY CAN'T MATE 551 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,346 THEIR DEMISE. >> BUT, I MEAN, THEY CAN'T MATE WHEN THEY'RE UNDERGROUND. 552 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:28,546 >> BUT, I MEAN, THEY CAN'T MATE WHEN THEY'RE UNDERGROUND. >> OH. 553 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,014 WHEN THEY'RE UNDERGROUND. >> OH. SO THEY HAVE TO EMERGE TO THE 554 00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,150 >> OH. SO THEY HAVE TO EMERGE TO THE ADULT FORM, THEN THEY REPRODUCE. 555 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,518 SO THEY HAVE TO EMERGE TO THE ADULT FORM, THEN THEY REPRODUCE. >> YOU SOUND LIKE YOU LOVE YOUR 556 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:33,718 ADULT FORM, THEN THEY REPRODUCE. >> YOU SOUND LIKE YOU LOVE YOUR BUGS. 557 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,687 >> YOU SOUND LIKE YOU LOVE YOUR BUGS. >> I LOVE MY BUGS. 558 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:37,288 BUGS. >> I LOVE MY BUGS. BUGGIES. 559 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,290 >> I LOVE MY BUGS. BUGGIES. I LIKE INSECTS. 560 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:39,657 BUGGIES. I LIKE INSECTS. OH. 561 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:43,428 I LIKE INSECTS. OH. SO WE USUALLY SAY I'M AN 562 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,431 OH. SO WE USUALLY SAY I'M AN ENTOMOLOGIST, I WORK ON INSECTS. 563 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,765 SO WE USUALLY SAY I'M AN ENTOMOLOGIST, I WORK ON INSECTS. >> YOU OPERATE ON THEM? 564 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:48,032 ENTOMOLOGIST, I WORK ON INSECTS. >> YOU OPERATE ON THEM? SOMETIMES. 565 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,269 >> YOU OPERATE ON THEM? SOMETIMES. YOU'RE A SURGEON OF BUGS? 566 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:55,073 SOMETIMES. YOU'RE A SURGEON OF BUGS? WHAT I STUDY IS REPRODUCTIVE 567 00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:57,708 YOU'RE A SURGEON OF BUGS? WHAT I STUDY IS REPRODUCTIVE MORPHOLOGY, SO I HAVE THESE TINY 568 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,911 WHAT I STUDY IS REPRODUCTIVE MORPHOLOGY, SO I HAVE THESE TINY INSTRUMENTS AND I DISSECT OUT 569 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,479 MORPHOLOGY, SO I HAVE THESE TINY INSTRUMENTS AND I DISSECT OUT THE PENISES AND -- 570 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,347 INSTRUMENTS AND I DISSECT OUT THE PENISES AND -- >> OH, MY GOD! 571 00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,716 THE PENISES AND -- >> OH, MY GOD! LIKE ME, I HAD A BABY 572 00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:09,287 >> OH, MY GOD! LIKE ME, I HAD A BABY SQUIRREL -- NO, I DON'T DISSECT 573 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:09,620 LIKE ME, I HAD A BABY SQUIRREL -- NO, I DON'T DISSECT PENNIES. 574 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,088 SQUIRREL -- NO, I DON'T DISSECT PENNIES. >> YOU SOUND LIKE ME. 575 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,722 PENNIES. >> YOU SOUND LIKE ME. NO, NO, NO! 576 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:14,892 >> YOU SOUND LIKE ME. NO, NO, NO! I FOUND A PINKY BABY SQUIRREL IN 577 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:15,593 NO, NO, NO! I FOUND A PINKY BABY SQUIRREL IN MY ALLEYWAY. 578 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,361 I FOUND A PINKY BABY SQUIRREL IN MY ALLEYWAY. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH 579 00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:18,796 MY ALLEYWAY. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT, IT WAS GOING TO GET EATEN OR 580 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,531 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT, IT WAS GOING TO GET EATEN OR STEPPED ON BY SOMEBODY, SO I 581 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,466 IT, IT WAS GOING TO GET EATEN OR STEPPED ON BY SOMEBODY, SO I BROUGHT IT IN. 582 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:22,967 STEPPED ON BY SOMEBODY, SO I BROUGHT IT IN. WHAT YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT 583 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:26,671 BROUGHT IT IN. WHAT YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT THAT IS I HAD TO STIMULATE ITS 584 00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,039 WHAT YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT THAT IS I HAD TO STIMULATE ITS PENNIES FOR IT TO PEA. 585 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:30,541 THAT IS I HAD TO STIMULATE ITS PENNIES FOR IT TO PEA. I TOLD MY SISTER-IN-LAW AND SHE 586 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:34,645 PENNIES FOR IT TO PEA. I TOLD MY SISTER-IN-LAW AND SHE SAID, OH, NOW YOU'RE INTO MASTER 587 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,813 I TOLD MY SISTER-IN-LAW AND SHE SAID, OH, NOW YOU'RE INTO MASTER BAITING ( BLEEP ) SQUIRRELS? 588 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,982 SAID, OH, NOW YOU'RE INTO MASTER BAITING ( BLEEP ) SQUIRRELS? THEY CAN'T PEA WHEN THEY'RE 589 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,319 BAITING ( BLEEP ) SQUIRRELS? THEY CAN'T PEA WHEN THEY'RE FIRST NEWBORN, THEY NEED TO BE 590 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,387 THEY CAN'T PEA WHEN THEY'RE FIRST NEWBORN, THEY NEED TO BE STIMULATED. 591 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,956 FIRST NEWBORN, THEY NEED TO BE STIMULATED. >> DID SOMEBODY TELL YOU THAT? 592 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:45,156 STIMULATED. >> DID SOMEBODY TELL YOU THAT? YEAH. 593 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:45,523 >> DID SOMEBODY TELL YOU THAT? YEAH. WASN'T TRUE? 594 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,425 YEAH. WASN'T TRUE? >> I DON'T KNOW. 595 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:47,625 WASN'T TRUE? >> I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE. 596 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,526 >> I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE. HOW DO YOU FIND OUT. 597 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,094 MAYBE. HOW DO YOU FIND OUT. >> I WENT ONLINE. 598 00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:50,294 HOW DO YOU FIND OUT. >> I WENT ONLINE. OKAY. 599 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,497 >> I WENT ONLINE. OKAY. MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, YES, I 600 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,532 OKAY. MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, YES, I DID DO THAT, AND THE LITTLE 601 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,534 MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, YES, I DID DO THAT, AND THE LITTLE BUBBLE WOULD COME OUT OF HIS 602 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,303 DID DO THAT, AND THE LITTLE BUBBLE WOULD COME OUT OF HIS PENNIES AND THAT WAS HIM 603 00:18:59,305 --> 00:18:59,537 BUBBLE WOULD COME OUT OF HIS PENNIES AND THAT WAS HIM PEAKING. 604 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:00,505 PENNIES AND THAT WAS HIM PEAKING. >> AFTER GETTING TO REEL KNOW 605 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,206 PEAKING. >> AFTER GETTING TO REEL KNOW EACH OTHER DR.WARE OFFERED TO 606 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:05,076 >> AFTER GETTING TO REEL KNOW EACH OTHER DR.WARE OFFERED TO SHE MY MOM SOME CICADAS UP 607 00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:05,376 EACH OTHER DR.WARE OFFERED TO SHE MY MOM SOME CICADAS UP CLOSE. 608 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,145 SHE MY MOM SOME CICADAS UP CLOSE. >> WHAT IS THIS MEAN LOOKING 609 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:07,945 CLOSE. >> WHAT IS THIS MEAN LOOKING THING? 610 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,680 >> WHAT IS THIS MEAN LOOKING THING? THAT'S THE CICADA! 611 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,849 THING? THAT'S THE CICADA! >> THAT'S A RIG CICADA BUT IT'S 612 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,985 THAT'S THE CICADA! >> THAT'S A RIG CICADA BUT IT'S A GORGEOUS ONE, RIGHT? 613 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,786 >> THAT'S A RIG CICADA BUT IT'S A GORGEOUS ONE, RIGHT? >> I GUESS. 614 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,522 A GORGEOUS ONE, RIGHT? >> I GUESS. NICE COLORED PATTERN, COOL 615 00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:17,788 >> I GUESS. NICE COLORED PATTERN, COOL WINGS. 616 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,190 NICE COLORED PATTERN, COOL WINGS. >> I GUESS IT'S PRETTY. 617 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,992 WINGS. >> I GUESS IT'S PRETTY. AS LONG AS IT STAYS OFF ME. 618 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,661 >> I GUESS IT'S PRETTY. AS LONG AS IT STAYS OFF ME. HAVE YOU LOVED BUGS YOUR WHOLE 619 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,028 AS LONG AS IT STAYS OFF ME. HAVE YOU LOVED BUGS YOUR WHOLE LIFE? 620 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:24,996 HAVE YOU LOVED BUGS YOUR WHOLE LIFE? >> I ALWAYS APPRECIATED INSECTS 621 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:25,863 LIFE? >> I ALWAYS APPRECIATED INSECTS FOR SURE. 622 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,765 >> I ALWAYS APPRECIATED INSECTS FOR SURE. I NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER AN 623 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:28,533 FOR SURE. I NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER AN INSECT, ACTUALLY. 624 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,635 I NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER AN INSECT, ACTUALLY. >> YOU DID? 625 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:36,307 INSECT, ACTUALLY. >> YOU DID? HER NAME IS AISHNA 626 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,508 >> YOU DID? HER NAME IS AISHNA ( LAUGHTER ) 627 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,210 HER NAME IS AISHNA ( LAUGHTER ) >> YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT HER, 628 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,511 ( LAUGHTER ) >> YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT HER, THAT'S HER REAL NAME. 629 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,246 >> YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT HER, THAT'S HER REAL NAME. >> NO, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU NAMED 630 00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,015 THAT'S HER REAL NAME. >> NO, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU NAMED HER AFTER A BUG! 631 00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:47,785 >> NO, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU NAMED HER AFTER A BUG! >> HERE IS WHERE WE KEEP THE 632 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:48,486 HER AFTER A BUG! >> HERE IS WHERE WE KEEP THE PERIODICAL CICADAS. 633 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:51,022 >> HERE IS WHERE WE KEEP THE PERIODICAL CICADAS. >> DRAWERS AND DRAWERS OF THEM. 634 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,390 PERIODICAL CICADAS. >> DRAWERS AND DRAWERS OF THEM. SOME CAN BE PRETTY LARGE. 635 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,426 >> DRAWERS AND DRAWERS OF THEM. SOME CAN BE PRETTY LARGE. I THINK I LIKE THE SMALL ONES 636 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:55,660 SOME CAN BE PRETTY LARGE. I THINK I LIKE THE SMALL ONES BETTER. 637 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,627 I THINK I LIKE THE SMALL ONES BETTER. >> THEY'RE BIG IN NUMBER. 638 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,062 BETTER. >> THEY'RE BIG IN NUMBER. THERE WILL BE A TRILLION OR. 639 00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,698 >> THEY'RE BIG IN NUMBER. THERE WILL BE A TRILLION OR. SO IT'S GOOD FOOD FOR BIRDS, 640 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,700 THERE WILL BE A TRILLION OR. SO IT'S GOOD FOOD FOR BIRDS, SQUIRRELS, CATS AND DOGS, GOOD 641 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,502 SO IT'S GOOD FOOD FOR BIRDS, SQUIRRELS, CATS AND DOGS, GOOD FOOD FOR YOU. 642 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,903 SQUIRRELS, CATS AND DOGS, GOOD FOOD FOR YOU. >> THE CICADAS? 643 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,004 FOOD FOR YOU. >> THE CICADAS? YEAH, YOU COULD EAT THEM. 644 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:07,705 >> THE CICADAS? YEAH, YOU COULD EAT THEM. OH, NO. 645 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,942 YEAH, YOU COULD EAT THEM. OH, NO. YOU SAID YOU LIKE LOBSTER. 646 00:20:10,944 --> 00:20:12,843 OH, NO. YOU SAID YOU LIKE LOBSTER. IT'S PROBABLY LIKE -- YOU KNOW. 647 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,413 YOU SAID YOU LIKE LOBSTER. IT'S PROBABLY LIKE -- YOU KNOW. >> HOW DO YOU CRACK OPEN A 648 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:15,646 IT'S PROBABLY LIKE -- YOU KNOW. >> HOW DO YOU CRACK OPEN A CICADA? 649 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,848 >> HOW DO YOU CRACK OPEN A CICADA? >> YOU TAKE THE WINGS OFF, YOU 650 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:22,587 CICADA? >> YOU TAKE THE WINGS OFF, YOU SASAUTEÉ THEM -- 651 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,088 >> YOU TAKE THE WINGS OFF, YOU SASAUTEÉ THEM -- >> BEING THE GOOD SON I AM, I 652 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,656 SASAUTEÉ THEM -- >> BEING THE GOOD SON I AM, I WASN'T GOING TO LET MOM LEAVE 653 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,891 >> BEING THE GOOD SON I AM, I WASN'T GOING TO LET MOM LEAVE THE MUSEUM WITHOUT TOUCHING A 654 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:27,458 WASN'T GOING TO LET MOM LEAVE THE MUSEUM WITHOUT TOUCHING A FEW BUGS. 655 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:32,530 THE MUSEUM WITHOUT TOUCHING A FEW BUGS. FIRST UP A GIANT MILLIPEDE. 656 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:32,997 FEW BUGS. FIRST UP A GIANT MILLIPEDE. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. 657 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,732 FIRST UP A GIANT MILLIPEDE. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 658 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:42,240 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? SO THESE ARE MILLIPEDES 659 00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:42,506 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? SO THESE ARE MILLIPEDES MIROPODS. 660 00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:43,741 SO THESE ARE MILLIPEDES MIROPODS. WANT TO FEEL IT? 661 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,876 MIROPODS. WANT TO FEEL IT? IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE A WHISPER. 662 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,712 WANT TO FEEL IT? IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE A WHISPER. THESE CANNOT HURT YOU. 663 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:48,212 IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE A WHISPER. THESE CANNOT HURT YOU. THEY CANNOT BITE. 664 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:52,516 THESE CANNOT HURT YOU. THEY CANNOT BITE. THEY CANNOT HURT YOU. 665 00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:53,251 THEY CANNOT BITE. THEY CANNOT HURT YOU. ( SNORTING ) 666 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:53,851 THEY CANNOT HURT YOU. ( SNORTING ) >> THERE YOU GO. 667 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:54,252 ( SNORTING ) >> THERE YOU GO. YOU GOT IT. 668 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,921 >> THERE YOU GO. YOU GOT IT. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 669 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:57,188 YOU GOT IT. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? >> AAAHHH! 670 00:20:57,190 --> 00:21:00,524 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? >> AAAHHH! HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 671 00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:04,495 >> AAAHHH! HOW ARE YOU FEELING? IT'S GOOD. 672 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:11,836 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? IT'S GOOD. (SCREAMS ) 673 00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,537 IT'S GOOD. (SCREAMS ) >> ( BLEEP ), ( BLEEP ). 674 00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:13,904 (SCREAMS ) >> ( BLEEP ), ( BLEEP ). DON'T WORRY. 675 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,539 >> ( BLEEP ), ( BLEEP ). DON'T WORRY. YOU DID IT. 676 00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:16,907 DON'T WORRY. YOU DID IT. >> THOSE LITTLE LEGS CLING TO 677 00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:17,108 YOU DID IT. >> THOSE LITTLE LEGS CLING TO YOU. 678 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:17,341 >> THOSE LITTLE LEGS CLING TO YOU. >> YEAH. 679 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:19,310 YOU. >> YEAH. NOW THE MAIN EVENT, THE BUG 680 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:23,648 >> YEAH. NOW THE MAIN EVENT, THE BUG MY MOM FEARS THE MOST, THE 681 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,248 NOW THE MAIN EVENT, THE BUG MY MOM FEARS THE MOST, THE MADAGASCAR MISSING COCKROACH. 682 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,082 MY MOM FEARS THE MOST, THE MADAGASCAR MISSING COCKROACH. >> HOW ARE WE FEELING? 683 00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:27,518 MADAGASCAR MISSING COCKROACH. >> HOW ARE WE FEELING? DO YOU WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN 684 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,987 >> HOW ARE WE FEELING? DO YOU WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE THE HISSING NOISE? 685 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:30,821 DO YOU WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE THE HISSING NOISE? FIVE SECONDS? 686 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,291 MAKE THE HISSING NOISE? FIVE SECONDS? >> FIVE SECONDS AND 100 BUCKS. 687 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,092 FIVE SECONDS? >> FIVE SECONDS AND 100 BUCKS. 100 BUCKS! 688 00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:41,632 >> FIVE SECONDS AND 100 BUCKS. 100 BUCKS! I'M GETTING PAID REGARDLESS, 689 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:41,899 100 BUCKS! I'M GETTING PAID REGARDLESS, BITCH. 690 00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,100 I'M GETTING PAID REGARDLESS, BITCH. >> YOU'RE GOOD. 691 00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,001 BITCH. >> YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE TOTALLY GOOD. 692 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,536 >> YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE TOTALLY GOOD. IT WON'T HURT YOU. 693 00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:46,037 YOU'RE TOTALLY GOOD. IT WON'T HURT YOU. THERE YOU GO. 694 00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:51,342 IT WON'T HURT YOU. THERE YOU GO. YOU'RE DOING IT, YOU'RE DOING IT 695 00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:53,411 THERE YOU GO. YOU'RE DOING IT, YOU'RE DOING IT ( MAKING HYSTERICAL SOUNDS ) 696 00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:55,946 YOU'RE DOING IT, YOU'RE DOING IT ( MAKING HYSTERICAL SOUNDS ) >> YOU GOT IT! 697 00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:58,649 ( MAKING HYSTERICAL SOUNDS ) >> YOU GOT IT! EAH, YEAH, YEAH! 698 00:21:58,651 --> 00:21:59,050 >> YOU GOT IT! EAH, YEAH, YEAH! AAAHHH! 699 00:21:59,052 --> 00:22:03,688 EAH, YEAH, YEAH! AAAHHH! IT'S STILL FREAKING ME OUT! 700 00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:05,423 AAAHHH! IT'S STILL FREAKING ME OUT! >> AN ENTOMOLOGIST FOR A DAY. 701 00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:07,792 IT'S STILL FREAKING ME OUT! >> AN ENTOMOLOGIST FOR A DAY. YOU'RE LIVING IT, YOU'RE DOING 702 00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:07,958 >> AN ENTOMOLOGIST FOR A DAY. YOU'RE LIVING IT, YOU'RE DOING IT. 703 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:08,225 YOU'RE LIVING IT, YOU'RE DOING IT. >> AAAHHH! 704 00:22:08,227 --> 00:22:11,662 IT. >> AAAHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! 705 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:11,862 >> AAAHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! OKAY. 706 00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:13,064 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! OKAY. >> TELL ME WHEN IT GETS TOO 707 00:22:13,066 --> 00:22:19,970 OKAY. >> TELL ME WHEN IT GETS TOO CLOSE, WHEN IT'S GO TIME. 708 00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:21,138 >> TELL ME WHEN IT GETS TOO CLOSE, WHEN IT'S GO TIME. >> WELL, IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO 709 00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:21,639 CLOSE, WHEN IT'S GO TIME. >> WELL, IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO YOU TODAY. 710 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,307 >> WELL, IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO YOU TODAY. >> Announcer: I'M SO GLAD YOU 711 00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:26,944 YOU TODAY. >> Announcer: I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVE INSECTS AS MUCH AS I DO. 712 00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:28,479 >> Announcer: I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVE INSECTS AS MUCH AS I DO. >> A LITTLE BIT. 713 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:29,780 LOVE INSECTS AS MUCH AS I DO. >> A LITTLE BIT. >> Announcer: YOU'RE ON THE 714 00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:31,315 >> A LITTLE BIT. >> Announcer: YOU'RE ON THE JOURNEY TO IT. 715 00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:31,982 >> Announcer: YOU'RE ON THE JOURNEY TO IT. >> IT'S GOING TO GROW. 716 00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:35,820 JOURNEY TO IT. >> IT'S GOING TO GROW. THE LOVE WILL GROW. 717 00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:36,554 >> IT'S GOING TO GROW. THE LOVE WILL GROW. ( LAUGHTER ) 718 00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:38,622 THE LOVE WILL GROW. ( LAUGHTER ) HI, THIS IS BOOTSIE, I'M HERE 719 00:22:38,624 --> 00:22:40,024 ( LAUGHTER ) HI, THIS IS BOOTSIE, I'M HERE WITH "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN 720 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:40,424 HI, THIS IS BOOTSIE, I'M HERE WITH "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT. 721 00:22:40,426 --> 00:22:41,726 WITH "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT. I LEARNED SO MUCH TODAY ABOUT IS 722 00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:45,529 COLBERT. I LEARNED SO MUCH TODAY ABOUT IS CICADAs, SO INTERESTING. 723 00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,732 I LEARNED SO MUCH TODAY ABOUT IS CICADAs, SO INTERESTING. I ALSO HELD A HISSING COCKROACH. 724 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:48,999 CICADAs, SO INTERESTING. I ALSO HELD A HISSING COCKROACH. CONGRATULATIONS TO ME BECAUSE I 725 00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:51,335 I ALSO HELD A HISSING COCKROACH. CONGRATULATIONS TO ME BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THAT! 726 00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:54,171 CONGRATULATIONS TO ME BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THAT! AND IT WAS -- I STILL DON'T LIKE 727 00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:54,438 NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THAT! AND IT WAS -- I STILL DON'T LIKE BUGS. 728 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:54,638 AND IT WAS -- I STILL DON'T LIKE BUGS. OKAY. 729 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:55,940 BUGS. OKAY. BYE. 730 00:22:55,942 --> 00:23:01,712 OKAY. BYE. ♪♪♪ 731 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:02,346 BYE. ♪♪♪ >> STEPHEN: THANK YOU TO BOOTSIE 732 00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:03,647 ♪♪♪ >> STEPHEN: THANK YOU TO BOOTSIE AND THANK YOU TO DR. JESSICA 733 00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:04,482 >> STEPHEN: THANK YOU TO BOOTSIE AND THANK YOU TO DR. JESSICA WARE AND THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL 734 00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:05,783 AND THANK YOU TO DR. JESSICA WARE AND THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. 735 00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:07,952 WARE AND THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRIS 736 00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:10,354 HISTORY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS. 737 00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:12,490 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS. ♪♪♪ 738 00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:28,472 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 739 00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:29,106 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. JOINING ME NOW IS A BEST-SELLING 740 00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:29,740 EVERYBODY. JOINING ME NOW IS A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR AND JOURNALIST WHO HOSTED 741 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:30,307 JOINING ME NOW IS A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR AND JOURNALIST WHO HOSTED "HARDBALL" FOR MORE THAN 20 742 00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:33,310 AUTHOR AND JOURNALIST WHO HOSTED "HARDBALL" FOR MORE THAN 20 YEARS. 743 00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:33,844 "HARDBALL" FOR MORE THAN 20 YEARS. HE'S JUST WRITTEN A MEMOIR 744 00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:34,478 YEARS. HE'S JUST WRITTEN A MEMOIR CALLED "THIS COUNTRY" ABOUT HIS 745 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,913 HE'S JUST WRITTEN A MEMOIR CALLED "THIS COUNTRY" ABOUT HIS LIFE IN POLITICS AND HISTORY. 746 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:36,547 CALLED "THIS COUNTRY" ABOUT HIS LIFE IN POLITICS AND HISTORY. PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," 747 00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:41,952 LIFE IN POLITICS AND HISTORY. PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," CHRIS MATTHEWS. 748 00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:44,789 PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," CHRIS MATTHEWS. CHRIS, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 749 00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:45,222 CHRIS MATTHEWS. CHRIS, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. >> GOOD TO SEE YOU. 750 00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:46,857 CHRIS, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. >> GOOD TO SEE YOU. >> Stephen: THE LAST TIME -- 751 00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:49,393 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU. >> Stephen: THE LAST TIME -- WELL, WE'VE TALKED MTSZ OVER THE 752 00:23:49,395 --> 00:23:49,693 >> Stephen: THE LAST TIME -- WELL, WE'VE TALKED MTSZ OVER THE YEARS. 753 00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:50,961 WELL, WE'VE TALKED MTSZ OVER THE YEARS. I'LL GET TO THE LAST TIME WE 754 00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:51,762 YEARS. I'LL GET TO THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE IN JUST A MOMENT. 755 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,931 I'LL GET TO THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE IN JUST A MOMENT. ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKE 756 00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,633 SPOKE IN JUST A MOMENT. ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKE TALKING TO YOU OTHER THAN THE 757 00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:57,134 ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKE TALKING TO YOU OTHER THAN THE FACT YOU'RE A HOST AND YOU 758 00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:58,636 TALKING TO YOU OTHER THAN THE FACT YOU'RE A HOST AND YOU REALLY EAT UP THE TIME, I DON'T 759 00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:01,138 FACT YOU'RE A HOST AND YOU REALLY EAT UP THE TIME, I DON'T HAVE TO WORK WHEN YOU'RE ON, 760 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,807 REALLY EAT UP THE TIME, I DON'T HAVE TO WORK WHEN YOU'RE ON, IT'S LIKE A VACATION, BUT YOU'VE 761 00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,775 HAVE TO WORK WHEN YOU'RE ON, IT'S LIKE A VACATION, BUT YOU'VE SEEN SO MUCH IN WASHINGTON, 762 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:05,643 IT'S LIKE A VACATION, BUT YOU'VE SEEN SO MUCH IN WASHINGTON, YOU'VE WORKED FOR TIP O'NEIL, 763 00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:07,411 SEEN SO MUCH IN WASHINGTON, YOU'VE WORKED FOR TIP O'NEIL, JIMMY CARTER, THE HOST OF 764 00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:08,078 YOU'VE WORKED FOR TIP O'NEIL, JIMMY CARTER, THE HOST OF "HARDBALL" FOR YEARS, BUT WHAT 765 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,481 JIMMY CARTER, THE HOST OF "HARDBALL" FOR YEARS, BUT WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST WASHINGTON JOB? 766 00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:12,483 "HARDBALL" FOR YEARS, BUT WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST WASHINGTON JOB? >> I WAS A CAPITOL POLICEMAN, 767 00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:13,751 WAS YOUR FIRST WASHINGTON JOB? >> I WAS A CAPITOL POLICEMAN, APPOINTED BY THE U.S. SENATOR 768 00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:16,787 >> I WAS A CAPITOL POLICEMAN, APPOINTED BY THE U.S. SENATOR UNDER THE OLD PAY TROJAGE 769 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,189 APPOINTED BY THE U.S. SENATOR UNDER THE OLD PAY TROJAGE SYSTEM, AND I LOVED IT, I WORKED 770 00:24:18,191 --> 00:24:20,191 UNDER THE OLD PAY TROJAGE SYSTEM, AND I LOVED IT, I WORKED IN THE OFFICE OF THE SENATOR IN 771 00:24:20,193 --> 00:24:23,360 SYSTEM, AND I LOVED IT, I WORKED IN THE OFFICE OF THE SENATOR IN THE MORNING TILL 3:00, WENT ON 772 00:24:23,362 --> 00:24:26,297 IN THE OFFICE OF THE SENATOR IN THE MORNING TILL 3:00, WENT ON THE SECOND SHIFT FROM 3:00 TO 773 00:24:26,299 --> 00:24:26,497 THE MORNING TILL 3:00, WENT ON THE SECOND SHIFT FROM 3:00 TO 11:00. 774 00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:28,165 THE SECOND SHIFT FROM 3:00 TO 11:00. I WAS DOING THREE JOBS. 775 00:24:28,167 --> 00:24:29,633 11:00. I WAS DOING THREE JOBS. I LOVED PUTTING ON MY UNIFORM 776 00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:31,035 I WAS DOING THREE JOBS. I LOVED PUTTING ON MY UNIFORM AND GUN AND DOING MY JOB. 777 00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:32,303 I LOVED PUTTING ON MY UNIFORM AND GUN AND DOING MY JOB. I LOVED THE GUYS I WORKED WITH. 778 00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:36,006 AND GUN AND DOING MY JOB. I LOVED THE GUYS I WORKED WITH. >> Stephen: AS SOMEONE WHO HAD 779 00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:38,509 I LOVED THE GUYS I WORKED WITH. >> Stephen: AS SOMEONE WHO HAD THAT AS THE FIRST EXPERIENCE IN 780 00:24:38,511 --> 00:24:39,109 >> Stephen: AS SOMEONE WHO HAD THAT AS THE FIRST EXPERIENCE IN WASHINGTON, D.C., WHAT WAS IT 781 00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:40,611 THAT AS THE FIRST EXPERIENCE IN WASHINGTON, D.C., WHAT WAS IT LIKE PERSONALLY FOR YOU TO WATCH 782 00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:42,179 WASHINGTON, D.C., WHAT WAS IT LIKE PERSONALLY FOR YOU TO WATCH THE HORRIFIC EVENTS OF 783 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:43,414 LIKE PERSONALLY FOR YOU TO WATCH THE HORRIFIC EVENTS OF JANUARY 6, HOW DID THAT HIT HOME 784 00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:44,782 THE HORRIFIC EVENTS OF JANUARY 6, HOW DID THAT HIT HOME FOR YOU? 785 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:46,851 JANUARY 6, HOW DID THAT HIT HOME FOR YOU? >> IT'S LIKE SEEING YOUR CHURCH 786 00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:47,084 FOR YOU? >> IT'S LIKE SEEING YOUR CHURCH INVADED. 787 00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:49,386 >> IT'S LIKE SEEING YOUR CHURCH INVADED. IT WAS LIKE BEING DEFILED, 788 00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:50,087 INVADED. IT WAS LIKE BEING DEFILED, EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVED IN. 789 00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:53,090 IT WAS LIKE BEING DEFILED, EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVED IN. I USED TO LOVE -- I DO LOVE THAT 790 00:24:53,092 --> 00:24:53,657 EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVED IN. I USED TO LOVE -- I DO LOVE THAT BUILDING. 791 00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:54,625 I USED TO LOVE -- I DO LOVE THAT BUILDING. WHATEVER JOB I WAS, WHETHER TOP 792 00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:57,361 BUILDING. WHATEVER JOB I WAS, WHETHER TOP AIDE TO THE SPEAKER OR I WAS A 793 00:24:57,363 --> 00:24:59,396 WHATEVER JOB I WAS, WHETHER TOP AIDE TO THE SPEAKER OR I WAS A COP, I WOULD TAKE PEOPLE TO 794 00:24:59,398 --> 00:25:00,631 AIDE TO THE SPEAKER OR I WAS A COP, I WOULD TAKE PEOPLE TO PLACES LIKE THE BRITISH STAIRS, 795 00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:03,601 COP, I WOULD TAKE PEOPLE TO PLACES LIKE THE BRITISH STAIRS, THE STAIRS COMING UP TOWARD THE 796 00:25:03,603 --> 00:25:04,401 PLACES LIKE THE BRITISH STAIRS, THE STAIRS COMING UP TOWARD THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES MET, 797 00:25:04,403 --> 00:25:05,936 THE STAIRS COMING UP TOWARD THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES MET, AND THERE ARE BULLET HOLES IN 798 00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:07,771 HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES MET, AND THERE ARE BULLET HOLES IN THE CEILING STILL, AND I SAID 799 00:25:07,773 --> 00:25:10,908 AND THERE ARE BULLET HOLES IN THE CEILING STILL, AND I SAID LOOK AT THE BULLET HOLES, THE 800 00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,576 THE CEILING STILL, AND I SAID LOOK AT THE BULLET HOLES, THE BRITISH CAME IN HERE AN BURNED 801 00:25:12,578 --> 00:25:14,478 LOOK AT THE BULLET HOLES, THE BRITISH CAME IN HERE AN BURNED THE PLACE IN 1912. 802 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,182 BRITISH CAME IN HERE AN BURNED THE PLACE IN 1912. I WOULD SIT ALONE AT NIGHT IN 803 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:20,184 THE PLACE IN 1912. I WOULD SIT ALONE AT NIGHT IN THE ROTUNDA WHERE THE PAINTINGS 804 00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:23,821 I WOULD SIT ALONE AT NIGHT IN THE ROTUNDA WHERE THE PAINTINGS ARE AND I WOULD THINK OF JOHN F. 805 00:25:23,823 --> 00:25:25,723 THE ROTUNDA WHERE THE PAINTINGS ARE AND I WOULD THINK OF JOHN F. KENNEDY LAID OUT AFTER HE WAS 806 00:25:25,725 --> 00:25:26,490 ARE AND I WOULD THINK OF JOHN F. KENNEDY LAID OUT AFTER HE WAS ASSASSINATED, I WOULD IMAGINE 807 00:25:26,492 --> 00:25:28,592 KENNEDY LAID OUT AFTER HE WAS ASSASSINATED, I WOULD IMAGINE HIM THERE. 808 00:25:28,594 --> 00:25:30,327 ASSASSINATED, I WOULD IMAGINE HIM THERE. I WOULD THINK OF LINCOLN GIVING 809 00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:32,630 HIM THERE. I WOULD THINK OF LINCOLN GIVING THE SECOND INAUGURAL ADDRESS 810 00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,532 I WOULD THINK OF LINCOLN GIVING THE SECOND INAUGURAL ADDRESS THERE, TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE 811 00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:36,567 THE SECOND INAUGURAL ADDRESS THERE, TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE CIVIL WAR WHEN WE LOST 600,000 812 00:25:36,569 --> 00:25:38,502 THERE, TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE CIVIL WAR WHEN WE LOST 600,000 MEN AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT 813 00:25:38,504 --> 00:25:39,770 CIVIL WAR WHEN WE LOST 600,000 MEN AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT ASPENNENS FOR SLAVERY, AND HE 814 00:25:39,772 --> 00:25:41,805 MEN AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT ASPENNENS FOR SLAVERY, AND HE DID THAT THERE. 815 00:25:41,807 --> 00:25:44,041 ASPENNENS FOR SLAVERY, AND HE DID THAT THERE. AND F.M. D.R. GAVE HIS "WE HAVE 816 00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:47,978 DID THAT THERE. AND F.M. D.R. GAVE HIS "WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF" 817 00:25:47,980 --> 00:25:48,212 AND F.M. D.R. GAVE HIS "WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF" THERE. 818 00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,414 NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF" THERE. MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS 819 00:25:50,416 --> 00:25:52,783 THERE. MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS IN 1964 IN THAT BUILDING. 820 00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:54,418 MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS IN 1964 IN THAT BUILDING. SO MUCH HISTORY. 821 00:25:54,420 --> 00:25:56,086 IN 1964 IN THAT BUILDING. SO MUCH HISTORY. IT'S A CATHEDRAL TO DEMOCRACY. 822 00:25:56,088 --> 00:25:58,522 SO MUCH HISTORY. IT'S A CATHEDRAL TO DEMOCRACY. THE 9/11 JOBS TRIED TO BLOW IT 823 00:25:58,524 --> 00:25:58,689 IT'S A CATHEDRAL TO DEMOCRACY. THE 9/11 JOBS TRIED TO BLOW IT UP. 824 00:25:58,691 --> 00:25:59,690 THE 9/11 JOBS TRIED TO BLOW IT UP. THEY WERE STOPPED IN 825 00:25:59,692 --> 00:26:02,393 UP. THEY WERE STOPPED IN PENNSYLVANIA BY THE COURAGEOUS 826 00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:02,693 THEY WERE STOPPED IN PENNSYLVANIA BY THE COURAGEOUS PASSENGERS. 827 00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:04,128 PENNSYLVANIA BY THE COURAGEOUS PASSENGERS. ONE OF THE COPS I WORKED WITH 828 00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:05,729 PASSENGERS. ONE OF THE COPS I WORKED WITH SAID I WOULD DIE FOR THIS 829 00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:05,996 ONE OF THE COPS I WORKED WITH SAID I WOULD DIE FOR THIS BUILDING. 830 00:26:05,998 --> 00:26:08,098 SAID I WOULD DIE FOR THIS BUILDING. SO I WAS SO PROUD WHEN I GOT TO 831 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:09,934 BUILDING. SO I WAS SO PROUD WHEN I GOT TO SEE THE GOOD PICTURES OF THESE 832 00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:12,202 SO I WAS SO PROUD WHEN I GOT TO SEE THE GOOD PICTURES OF THESE GUYS, MOSTLY MEN, ESPECIALLY THE 833 00:26:12,204 --> 00:26:13,103 SEE THE GOOD PICTURES OF THESE GUYS, MOSTLY MEN, ESPECIALLY THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUY IN THE 834 00:26:13,105 --> 00:26:14,505 GUYS, MOSTLY MEN, ESPECIALLY THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUY IN THE PICTURE LEADING THEM IN THE 835 00:26:14,507 --> 00:26:15,973 AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUY IN THE PICTURE LEADING THEM IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, REMEMBER, UP 836 00:26:15,975 --> 00:26:17,474 PICTURE LEADING THEM IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, REMEMBER, UP THE STAIRS? 837 00:26:17,476 --> 00:26:19,076 WRONG DIRECTION, REMEMBER, UP THE STAIRS? >> Stephen: OFFICER GOODMAN. 838 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,512 THE STAIRS? >> Stephen: OFFICER GOODMAN. HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY REAL 839 00:26:21,514 --> 00:26:22,212 >> Stephen: OFFICER GOODMAN. HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY REAL WEAPON, HE COULDN'T USE HIS 840 00:26:22,214 --> 00:26:23,981 HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY REAL WEAPON, HE COULDN'T USE HIS REVOLVER IN THAT SITUATION, JUST 841 00:26:23,983 --> 00:26:26,083 WEAPON, HE COULDN'T USE HIS REVOLVER IN THAT SITUATION, JUST SO HE COULD PROTECT SENATOR 842 00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:27,818 REVOLVER IN THAT SITUATION, JUST SO HE COULD PROTECT SENATOR ROMNEY FROM UTAH GETTING KILLED 843 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:28,018 SO HE COULD PROTECT SENATOR ROMNEY FROM UTAH GETTING KILLED MAYBE. 844 00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:29,987 ROMNEY FROM UTAH GETTING KILLED MAYBE. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MAKE 845 00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:31,121 MAYBE. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF PEOPLE WHO WERE TRYING TO 846 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,023 >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF PEOPLE WHO WERE TRYING TO SELL THIS OFF WHO SAY IT WAS NO 847 00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:34,925 OF PEOPLE WHO WERE TRYING TO SELL THIS OFF WHO SAY IT WAS NO WORSE THAN TOURISTS IN THE 848 00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:39,697 SELL THIS OFF WHO SAY IT WAS NO WORSE THAN TOURISTS IN THE ROTUNDA OR THE STATUARY HALL OR 849 00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:41,065 WORSE THAN TOURISTS IN THE ROTUNDA OR THE STATUARY HALL OR SAYING IT WASN'T REALLY AN 850 00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:41,999 ROTUNDA OR THE STATUARY HALL OR SAYING IT WASN'T REALLY AN INSURRECTION, TRYING TO DOWNPLAY 851 00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:44,735 SAYING IT WASN'T REALLY AN INSURRECTION, TRYING TO DOWNPLAY IT BECAUSE THE REPS KNOW THE 852 00:26:44,737 --> 00:26:45,636 INSURRECTION, TRYING TO DOWNPLAY IT BECAUSE THE REPS KNOW THE DEMOCRATS WILL POINT AT IT AND 853 00:26:45,638 --> 00:26:47,404 IT BECAUSE THE REPS KNOW THE DEMOCRATS WILL POINT AT IT AND SAY YOU CAN'T TRUST THESE 854 00:26:47,406 --> 00:26:47,905 DEMOCRATS WILL POINT AT IT AND SAY YOU CAN'T TRUST THESE PEOPLE? 855 00:26:47,907 --> 00:26:49,506 SAY YOU CAN'T TRUST THESE PEOPLE? >> WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE SAID IF 856 00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,141 PEOPLE? >> WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE SAID IF THEY HAD CAPTURED THAT CROWD, 857 00:26:51,143 --> 00:26:54,445 >> WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE SAID IF THEY HAD CAPTURED THAT CROWD, THE MOB, HAD CAPTURED THE 858 00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:55,546 THEY HAD CAPTURED THAT CROWD, THE MOB, HAD CAPTURED THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED 859 00:26:55,548 --> 00:26:58,282 THE MOB, HAD CAPTURED THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND GOD KNOWS WHAT DO TO 860 00:26:58,284 --> 00:26:58,449 VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND GOD KNOWS WHAT DO TO HIM. 861 00:26:58,451 --> 00:27:00,084 STATES AND GOD KNOWS WHAT DO TO HIM. THEY WERE AFTER EVERY MEMBER OF 862 00:27:00,086 --> 00:27:00,351 HIM. THEY WERE AFTER EVERY MEMBER OF CONGRESS. 863 00:27:00,353 --> 00:27:01,518 THEY WERE AFTER EVERY MEMBER OF CONGRESS. THEY WERE OUT FOR BLOOD AND 864 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:01,986 CONGRESS. THEY WERE OUT FOR BLOOD AND EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. 865 00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:04,188 THEY WERE OUT FOR BLOOD AND EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. THEY WERE PROTECTED BY THEIR 866 00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,856 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. THEY WERE PROTECTED BY THEIR STAFFS AND THE POLICE. 867 00:27:05,858 --> 00:27:07,291 THEY WERE PROTECTED BY THEIR STAFFS AND THE POLICE. THAT'S WHAT SAVED THEIR LIVES. 868 00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:13,497 STAFFS AND THE POLICE. THAT'S WHAT SAVED THEIR LIVES. NOT THE CAUSE OF TRUMPISM. 869 00:27:13,499 --> 00:27:17,668 THAT'S WHAT SAVED THEIR LIVES. NOT THE CAUSE OF TRUMPISM. TRUMP WAS ON A MARCH. 870 00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:20,304 NOT THE CAUSE OF TRUMPISM. TRUMP WAS ON A MARCH. THE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS, 871 00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,506 TRUMP WAS ON A MARCH. THE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS, DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN SWORE 872 00:27:22,508 --> 00:27:24,174 THE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS, DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN SWORE AN OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION. 873 00:27:24,176 --> 00:27:25,075 DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN SWORE AN OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION. GENERAL MICHAEL FLYNN TOOK AN 874 00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:27,244 AN OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION. GENERAL MICHAEL FLYNN TOOK AN OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION, NOT 875 00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:28,078 GENERAL MICHAEL FLYNN TOOK AN OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION, NOT DONALD TRUMP. 876 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,881 OATH TO THE CONSTITUTION, NOT DONALD TRUMP. THEY HAVE TO BE REMINDED THEY'RE 877 00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:31,281 DONALD TRUMP. THEY HAVE TO BE REMINDED THEY'RE OWED SOMETIMES. 878 00:27:31,283 --> 00:27:33,617 THEY HAVE TO BE REMINDED THEY'RE OWED SOMETIMES. >> Stephen: YOU'VE WRITTEN A 879 00:27:33,619 --> 00:27:34,918 OWED SOMETIMES. >> Stephen: YOU'VE WRITTEN A NEW BOOK, AS I SAID BEFORE, 880 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,755 >> Stephen: YOU'VE WRITTEN A NEW BOOK, AS I SAID BEFORE, "THIS COUNTRY," ABOUT THE 881 00:27:37,757 --> 00:27:39,156 NEW BOOK, AS I SAID BEFORE, "THIS COUNTRY," ABOUT THE HISTORICAL EVENTS YOU LIVED 882 00:27:39,158 --> 00:27:39,390 "THIS COUNTRY," ABOUT THE HISTORICAL EVENTS YOU LIVED THROUGH. 883 00:27:39,392 --> 00:27:40,591 HISTORICAL EVENTS YOU LIVED THROUGH. WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE THE CURRENT 884 00:27:40,593 --> 00:27:41,959 THROUGH. WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE THE CURRENT MOMENT THE UNITED STATES IS 885 00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:43,827 WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE THE CURRENT MOMENT THE UNITED STATES IS GOING THROUGH, WHAT PERIODS OF 886 00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,029 MOMENT THE UNITED STATES IS GOING THROUGH, WHAT PERIODS OF LEADERSHIP AND HISTORY IN THE 887 00:27:45,031 --> 00:27:46,463 GOING THROUGH, WHAT PERIODS OF LEADERSHIP AND HISTORY IN THE WORLD COME TO MIND FOR YOU? 888 00:27:46,465 --> 00:27:48,465 LEADERSHIP AND HISTORY IN THE WORLD COME TO MIND FOR YOU? >> WELL, STEVE, YOU KNOW, I WAS 889 00:27:48,467 --> 00:27:49,667 WORLD COME TO MIND FOR YOU? >> WELL, STEVE, YOU KNOW, I WAS LUCKY IN MY LIFE TO BE AT THE 890 00:27:49,669 --> 00:27:52,436 >> WELL, STEVE, YOU KNOW, I WAS LUCKY IN MY LIFE TO BE AT THE CENTER OF THE ACTION SO MUCH, 891 00:27:52,438 --> 00:27:52,736 LUCKY IN MY LIFE TO BE AT THE CENTER OF THE ACTION SO MUCH, THE FIGHTS. 892 00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:55,639 CENTER OF THE ACTION SO MUCH, THE FIGHTS. I MEAN, I WAS ON THE HELICOPTER 893 00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:59,743 THE FIGHTS. I MEAN, I WAS ON THE HELICOPTER WHEN JIMMY CARTER WAS GOING DOWN 894 00:27:59,745 --> 00:28:01,945 I MEAN, I WAS ON THE HELICOPTER WHEN JIMMY CARTER WAS GOING DOWN TO DEFEAT THAT MORNING. 895 00:28:01,947 --> 00:28:04,314 WHEN JIMMY CARTER WAS GOING DOWN TO DEFEAT THAT MORNING. HE LOST THE ELECTION BY 10 896 00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:04,548 TO DEFEAT THAT MORNING. HE LOST THE ELECTION BY 10 POINTS. 897 00:28:04,550 --> 00:28:08,419 HE LOST THE ELECTION BY 10 POINTS. I WAS WITH TIP O'NEIL EVERY 898 00:28:08,421 --> 00:28:08,986 POINTS. I WAS WITH TIP O'NEIL EVERY MORNING, THE GREAT SPEECH. 899 00:28:08,988 --> 00:28:11,121 I WAS WITH TIP O'NEIL EVERY MORNING, THE GREAT SPEECH. I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL ON THE 900 00:28:11,123 --> 00:28:12,656 MORNING, THE GREAT SPEECH. I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL ON THE COMMUNIST SIDE WHEN THE WALL 901 00:28:12,658 --> 00:28:14,458 I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL ON THE COMMUNIST SIDE WHEN THE WALL OPENED UP AND I INTERVIEWED 902 00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:14,925 COMMUNIST SIDE WHEN THE WALL OPENED UP AND I INTERVIEWED PEOPLE. 903 00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:16,393 OPENED UP AND I INTERVIEWED PEOPLE. I'LL NEVER FORGET INTERVIEWING A 904 00:28:16,395 --> 00:28:18,829 PEOPLE. I'LL NEVER FORGET INTERVIEWING A YOUNG GUY IN HIS 20s, LOOKED 905 00:28:18,831 --> 00:28:20,698 I'LL NEVER FORGET INTERVIEWING A YOUNG GUY IN HIS 20s, LOOKED LIKE HE WAS AT BERKELEY IN THE 906 00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:22,399 YOUNG GUY IN HIS 20s, LOOKED LIKE HE WAS AT BERKELEY IN THE '60s. 907 00:28:22,401 --> 00:28:23,734 LIKE HE WAS AT BERKELEY IN THE '60s. I SAID, WHAT DOES FREEDOM MEAN 908 00:28:23,736 --> 00:28:26,637 '60s. I SAID, WHAT DOES FREEDOM MEAN TO YOU TODAY, THE WALL COMING 909 00:28:26,639 --> 00:28:26,904 I SAID, WHAT DOES FREEDOM MEAN TO YOU TODAY, THE WALL COMING DOWN? 910 00:28:26,906 --> 00:28:28,405 TO YOU TODAY, THE WALL COMING DOWN? HE SAID TALKING TO YOU, BECAUSE 911 00:28:28,407 --> 00:28:29,973 DOWN? HE SAID TALKING TO YOU, BECAUSE IT WAS A COUNTRY THAT WAS NOT 912 00:28:29,975 --> 00:28:31,608 HE SAID TALKING TO YOU, BECAUSE IT WAS A COUNTRY THAT WAS NOT FREE AND THEY COULDN'T TALK TO 913 00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:31,975 IT WAS A COUNTRY THAT WAS NOT FREE AND THEY COULDN'T TALK TO PEOPLE LIKE ME. 914 00:28:31,977 --> 00:28:36,013 FREE AND THEY COULDN'T TALK TO PEOPLE LIKE ME. I WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA WHEN 915 00:28:36,015 --> 00:28:37,681 PEOPLE LIKE ME. I WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA WHEN NELSON MANDELA, ONE OF THE 916 00:28:37,683 --> 00:28:39,683 I WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA WHEN NELSON MANDELA, ONE OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE OF OUR TIME, 917 00:28:39,685 --> 00:28:40,651 NELSON MANDELA, ONE OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE OF OUR TIME, ENCOURAGED THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH 918 00:28:40,653 --> 00:28:41,285 GREATEST PEOPLE OF OUR TIME, ENCOURAGED THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH AFRICA TO VOTE. 919 00:28:41,287 --> 00:28:44,621 ENCOURAGED THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH AFRICA TO VOTE. HE SAID WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO 920 00:28:44,623 --> 00:28:46,356 AFRICA TO VOTE. HE SAID WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS THROUGH A RESOLUTION -- 921 00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:47,991 HE SAID WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS THROUGH A RESOLUTION -- >> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE A 922 00:28:47,993 --> 00:28:51,995 THIS THROUGH A RESOLUTION -- >> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE A PHOTO OF YOU AND DESMOND TUTU. 923 00:28:51,997 --> 00:28:53,764 >> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE A PHOTO OF YOU AND DESMOND TUTU. >> DESMOND TUTU TO MY LEFT AND A 924 00:28:53,766 --> 00:28:55,499 PHOTO OF YOU AND DESMOND TUTU. >> DESMOND TUTU TO MY LEFT AND A SOUTH AFRICAN CAMERAMAN. 925 00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:57,835 >> DESMOND TUTU TO MY LEFT AND A SOUTH AFRICAN CAMERAMAN. LOOK AT THE LINE ON THE BACK OF 926 00:28:57,837 --> 00:28:58,102 SOUTH AFRICAN CAMERAMAN. LOOK AT THE LINE ON THE BACK OF VOTERS. 927 00:28:58,104 --> 00:29:00,504 LOOK AT THE LINE ON THE BACK OF VOTERS. IT'S LIKE FROM HORIZON TO 928 00:29:00,506 --> 00:29:00,904 VOTERS. IT'S LIKE FROM HORIZON TO HORIZON. 929 00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:02,506 IT'S LIKE FROM HORIZON TO HORIZON. THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE ONE 930 00:29:02,508 --> 00:29:05,175 HORIZON. THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE ONE PERSON, NELSON MANDELA, SAID 931 00:29:05,177 --> 00:29:06,677 THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE ONE PERSON, NELSON MANDELA, SAID WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ELECTION 932 00:29:06,679 --> 00:29:08,178 PERSON, NELSON MANDELA, SAID WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ELECTION IN THIS COUNTRY, EVERYBODY GETS 933 00:29:08,180 --> 00:29:10,514 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ELECTION IN THIS COUNTRY, EVERYBODY GETS TO VOTE, AND I'M NOT COMING OUT 934 00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:12,249 IN THIS COUNTRY, EVERYBODY GETS TO VOTE, AND I'M NOT COMING OUT OF PRISON OUT OF 20 YEARS UNTIL 935 00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:17,588 TO VOTE, AND I'M NOT COMING OUT OF PRISON OUT OF 20 YEARS UNTIL YOU LEGALIZE THE ANC AND THE 936 00:29:17,590 --> 00:29:19,757 OF PRISON OUT OF 20 YEARS UNTIL YOU LEGALIZE THE ANC AND THE COMMUNIST PARTY, HE WOULDN'T 937 00:29:19,759 --> 00:29:21,325 YOU LEGALIZE THE ANC AND THE COMMUNIST PARTY, HE WOULDN'T LEAVE PRISON SO HE COULD HAVE A 938 00:29:21,327 --> 00:29:22,192 COMMUNIST PARTY, HE WOULDN'T LEAVE PRISON SO HE COULD HAVE A REAL ELECTION. 939 00:29:22,194 --> 00:29:23,894 LEAVE PRISON SO HE COULD HAVE A REAL ELECTION. HE SAID WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT 940 00:29:23,896 --> 00:29:25,629 REAL ELECTION. HE SAID WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT WORK, THIS DEMOCRACY. 941 00:29:25,631 --> 00:29:27,498 HE SAID WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT WORK, THIS DEMOCRACY. I THINK OF THE PEOPLE WAITING IN 942 00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:31,168 WORK, THIS DEMOCRACY. I THINK OF THE PEOPLE WAITING IN LINE IN AFRICA WITHOUT A CUP OF 943 00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:32,336 I THINK OF THE PEOPLE WAITING IN LINE IN AFRICA WITHOUT A CUP OF TEA, WATER, WITHOUT A PLACE TO 944 00:29:32,338 --> 00:29:34,371 LINE IN AFRICA WITHOUT A CUP OF TEA, WATER, WITHOUT A PLACE TO GO TO THE-BEDROOM AND I THINK OF 945 00:29:34,373 --> 00:29:37,007 TEA, WATER, WITHOUT A PLACE TO GO TO THE-BEDROOM AND I THINK OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T TAKE 946 00:29:37,009 --> 00:29:38,408 GO TO THE-BEDROOM AND I THINK OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T TAKE DEMOCRACY SERIOUSLY IN THIS 947 00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:38,642 THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T TAKE DEMOCRACY SERIOUSLY IN THIS COUNTRY. 948 00:29:38,644 --> 00:29:42,012 DEMOCRACY SERIOUSLY IN THIS COUNTRY. THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT. 949 00:29:42,014 --> 00:29:45,649 COUNTRY. THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT. WE'VE HAD AN ELECTION EVERY YEAR 950 00:29:45,651 --> 00:29:46,416 THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT. WE'VE HAD AN ELECTION EVERY YEAR SINCE 1788. 951 00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:48,018 WE'VE HAD AN ELECTION EVERY YEAR SINCE 1788. WE'RE THE FIRST REPUBLIC, AND 952 00:29:48,020 --> 00:29:48,919 SINCE 1788. WE'RE THE FIRST REPUBLIC, AND IT'S ALWAYS WORKED. 953 00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:51,221 WE'RE THE FIRST REPUBLIC, AND IT'S ALWAYS WORKED. BUT WE ALWAYS COUNTED ON PEOPLE 954 00:29:51,223 --> 00:29:53,090 IT'S ALWAYS WORKED. BUT WE ALWAYS COUNTED ON PEOPLE WHO LOST ELECTIONS, JUST LIKE 955 00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:54,792 BUT WE ALWAYS COUNTED ON PEOPLE WHO LOST ELECTIONS, JUST LIKE WHEN YOU PLAYED TAG AS A KID, 956 00:29:54,794 --> 00:29:56,960 WHO LOST ELECTIONS, JUST LIKE WHEN YOU PLAYED TAG AS A KID, YOU SAY I'M IT, I LOST, AND TO 957 00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:58,495 WHEN YOU PLAYED TAG AS A KID, YOU SAY I'M IT, I LOST, AND TO STAND BEFORE THEIR PEOPLE AND 958 00:29:58,497 --> 00:29:59,963 YOU SAY I'M IT, I LOST, AND TO STAND BEFORE THEIR PEOPLE AND LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND SAY I 959 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:02,499 STAND BEFORE THEIR PEOPLE AND LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND SAY I LOST, THE OTHER PERSON WON, AND 960 00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:04,234 LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND SAY I LOST, THE OTHER PERSON WON, AND UNDER THAT SYSTEM, THAT PERSON'S 961 00:30:04,236 --> 00:30:05,169 LOST, THE OTHER PERSON WON, AND UNDER THAT SYSTEM, THAT PERSON'S PRESIDENT NOW. 962 00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:06,804 UNDER THAT SYSTEM, THAT PERSON'S PRESIDENT NOW. AND TRUMP WOULDN'T DO THAT ONE 963 00:30:06,806 --> 00:30:07,671 PRESIDENT NOW. AND TRUMP WOULDN'T DO THAT ONE HONORABLE ACT. 964 00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:09,339 AND TRUMP WOULDN'T DO THAT ONE HONORABLE ACT. HILLARY CLINTON HAD TO DO THAT 965 00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:10,474 HONORABLE ACT. HILLARY CLINTON HAD TO DO THAT AT THE PENNSYLVANIA HOTEL WHEN 966 00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:13,143 HILLARY CLINTON HAD TO DO THAT AT THE PENNSYLVANIA HOTEL WHEN SHE LOST, A SHOCKING LOSS AND 967 00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:16,146 AT THE PENNSYLVANIA HOTEL WHEN SHE LOST, A SHOCKING LOSS AND SHE HAD TO SAY IT. 968 00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:19,316 SHE LOST, A SHOCKING LOSS AND SHE HAD TO SAY IT. MITT ROMNEY, JOHN MCCAIN, AL 969 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:20,784 SHE HAD TO SAY IT. MITT ROMNEY, JOHN MCCAIN, AL GORE, EVERYONE STANDS UP AND 970 00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:22,786 MITT ROMNEY, JOHN MCCAIN, AL GORE, EVERYONE STANDS UP AND SAYS I LOST, IN THIS DEMOCRACY. 971 00:30:22,788 --> 00:30:23,954 GORE, EVERYONE STANDS UP AND SAYS I LOST, IN THIS DEMOCRACY. THAT'S WHAT MATTERS. 972 00:30:23,956 --> 00:30:25,055 SAYS I LOST, IN THIS DEMOCRACY. THAT'S WHAT MATTERS. SOME PEOPLE LIKE HILLARY CLINTON 973 00:30:25,057 --> 00:30:26,390 THAT'S WHAT MATTERS. SOME PEOPLE LIKE HILLARY CLINTON GOT MORE VOTES AND THEY STILL 974 00:30:26,392 --> 00:30:29,326 SOME PEOPLE LIKE HILLARY CLINTON GOT MORE VOTES AND THEY STILL SAID I LOST BECAUSE THE 975 00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:30,527 GOT MORE VOTES AND THEY STILL SAID I LOST BECAUSE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE GOVERNS 976 00:30:30,529 --> 00:30:30,761 SAID I LOST BECAUSE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE GOVERNS VICTORY. 977 00:30:30,763 --> 00:30:32,529 ELECTORAL COLLEGE GOVERNS VICTORY. THAT IS THE ADMIRABLE THING. 978 00:30:32,531 --> 00:30:33,831 VICTORY. THAT IS THE ADMIRABLE THING. I LOVE CONCESSION SPEECHES 979 00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:36,166 THAT IS THE ADMIRABLE THING. I LOVE CONCESSION SPEECHES BECAUSE IT SHOWS THE HEART OF 980 00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:37,868 I LOVE CONCESSION SPEECHES BECAUSE IT SHOWS THE HEART OF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE IN 981 00:30:37,870 --> 00:30:38,969 BECAUSE IT SHOWS THE HEART OF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE IN POLITICS BUT ARE WILLING TO TAKE 982 00:30:38,971 --> 00:30:43,941 PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE IN POLITICS BUT ARE WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK OF H HUMILIATION. 983 00:30:43,943 --> 00:30:45,509 POLITICS BUT ARE WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK OF H HUMILIATION. AT SOME POINT AS A POLITICIAN 984 00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:47,945 THE RISK OF H HUMILIATION. AT SOME POINT AS A POLITICIAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE RISK OF 985 00:30:47,947 --> 00:30:49,146 AT SOME POINT AS A POLITICIAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE RISK OF BEING HUMILIATED OF PEOPLE 986 00:30:49,148 --> 00:30:52,983 YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE RISK OF BEING HUMILIATED OF PEOPLE SAYING WE DON'T WANT YOU 987 00:30:52,985 --> 00:30:53,250 BEING HUMILIATED OF PEOPLE SAYING WE DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE,. 988 00:30:53,252 --> 00:30:54,785 SAYING WE DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE,. GO BUT YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE IT AND 989 00:30:54,787 --> 00:30:56,720 ANYMORE,. GO BUT YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE IT AND THIS GUY CLINTON, THE MOST 990 00:30:56,722 --> 00:30:58,121 GO BUT YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE IT AND THIS GUY CLINTON, THE MOST HONORABLE THING ABOUT THE OFFICE 991 00:30:58,123 --> 00:30:59,523 THIS GUY CLINTON, THE MOST HONORABLE THING ABOUT THE OFFICE IS THEIR WILLINGNESS TO WALK 992 00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:00,691 HONORABLE THING ABOUT THE OFFICE IS THEIR WILLINGNESS TO WALK AWAY FROM IT. 993 00:31:00,693 --> 00:31:01,091 IS THEIR WILLINGNESS TO WALK AWAY FROM IT. IT'S NOT YOURS. 994 00:31:01,093 --> 00:31:02,559 AWAY FROM IT. IT'S NOT YOURS. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A 995 00:31:02,561 --> 00:31:03,093 IT'S NOT YOURS. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 996 00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:05,529 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK 997 00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:08,298 QUICK BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK CHRIS ABOUT THE DAY HE LEFT 998 00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:09,700 WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK CHRIS ABOUT THE DAY HE LEFT MSNBC AND WHETHER THAT TOOK 999 00:31:09,702 --> 00:31:11,668 CHRIS ABOUT THE DAY HE LEFT MSNBC AND WHETHER THAT TOOK ANYONE BY SURPRISE. 1000 00:31:20,211 --> 00:31:27,117 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF 1001 00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:28,685 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "THIS COUNTRY," CHRIS MATTHEWS. 1002 00:31:28,687 --> 00:31:31,455 WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "THIS COUNTRY," CHRIS MATTHEWS. IN THE BOOK, YOU'RE VERY CANDID 1003 00:31:31,457 --> 00:31:34,625 "THIS COUNTRY," CHRIS MATTHEWS. IN THE BOOK, YOU'RE VERY CANDID ABOUT WHEN YOU LEFT "HARDBALL" 1004 00:31:34,627 --> 00:31:36,994 IN THE BOOK, YOU'RE VERY CANDID ABOUT WHEN YOU LEFT "HARDBALL" AFTER 20 YEARS, YOU HAD -- YOU 1005 00:31:36,996 --> 00:31:38,996 ABOUT WHEN YOU LEFT "HARDBALL" AFTER 20 YEARS, YOU HAD -- YOU WOULD REVEAL THAT YOU MADE 1006 00:31:38,998 --> 00:31:40,530 AFTER 20 YEARS, YOU HAD -- YOU WOULD REVEAL THAT YOU MADE INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS ABOUT THE 1007 00:31:40,532 --> 00:31:41,365 WOULD REVEAL THAT YOU MADE INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS ABOUT THE APPEARANCE OF A FEMALE 1008 00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:42,299 INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS ABOUT THE APPEARANCE OF A FEMALE JOURNALIST, AND YOU WENT ON THE 1009 00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:43,901 APPEARANCE OF A FEMALE JOURNALIST, AND YOU WENT ON THE AIR AND YOU SAID, YEAH, I DID, 1010 00:31:43,903 --> 00:31:45,569 JOURNALIST, AND YOU WENT ON THE AIR AND YOU SAID, YEAH, I DID, IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, 1011 00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:46,703 AIR AND YOU SAID, YEAH, I DID, IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, AND I'M OUT OF HERE. 1012 00:31:46,705 --> 00:31:49,473 IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, AND I'M OUT OF HERE. DID PEOPLE AT THE NETWORK KNOW 1013 00:31:49,475 --> 00:31:51,775 AND I'M OUT OF HERE. DID PEOPLE AT THE NETWORK KNOW THAT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO FIGHT 1014 00:31:51,777 --> 00:31:52,075 DID PEOPLE AT THE NETWORK KNOW THAT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO FIGHT THIS? 1015 00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:55,312 THAT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO FIGHT THIS? DID IT SURPRISE PEOPLE THERE? 1016 00:31:55,314 --> 00:31:57,147 THIS? DID IT SURPRISE PEOPLE THERE? >> WELL, THERE WAS A REPORT THAT 1017 00:31:57,149 --> 00:31:58,782 DID IT SURPRISE PEOPLE THERE? >> WELL, THERE WAS A REPORT THAT I COMPLE MEND -- IT SHOULDN'T 1018 00:31:58,784 --> 00:32:01,151 >> WELL, THERE WAS A REPORT THAT I COMPLE MEND -- IT SHOULDN'T SAY THAT -- I COMMENTED ON A 1019 00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:01,652 I COMPLE MEND -- IT SHOULDN'T SAY THAT -- I COMMENTED ON A PERSON'S APPEARANCE. 1020 00:32:01,654 --> 00:32:03,086 SAY THAT -- I COMMENTED ON A PERSON'S APPEARANCE. IT WAS A FOUR-YEAR-OLD STORY BUT 1021 00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:04,421 PERSON'S APPEARANCE. IT WAS A FOUR-YEAR-OLD STORY BUT IT WAS ACCURATE AS HELL. 1022 00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:05,355 IT WAS A FOUR-YEAR-OLD STORY BUT IT WAS ACCURATE AS HELL. I ACCEPTED THE TRUTH. 1023 00:32:05,357 --> 00:32:08,158 IT WAS ACCURATE AS HELL. I ACCEPTED THE TRUTH. IN FACT I CREDITED IN A COUPLE 1024 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,626 I ACCEPTED THE TRUTH. IN FACT I CREDITED IN A COUPLE OF COMMENTARIES, I SAID, IT'S 1025 00:32:09,628 --> 00:32:11,962 IN FACT I CREDITED IN A COUPLE OF COMMENTARIES, I SAID, IT'S ALL TRUE, DON'T PLAME THE 1026 00:32:11,964 --> 00:32:12,229 OF COMMENTARIES, I SAID, IT'S ALL TRUE, DON'T PLAME THE MESSENGER. 1027 00:32:12,231 --> 00:32:14,798 ALL TRUE, DON'T PLAME THE MESSENGER. I DID IT, I OWN THIS, NOBODY IS 1028 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,633 MESSENGER. I DID IT, I OWN THIS, NOBODY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY TROUBLE, I 1029 00:32:16,635 --> 00:32:18,235 I DID IT, I OWN THIS, NOBODY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY TROUBLE, I DID: I SAID SHE WAS RIGHT, THE 1030 00:32:18,237 --> 00:32:19,937 RESPONSIBLE FOR MY TROUBLE, I DID: I SAID SHE WAS RIGHT, THE REPORTER, AND I WANT EVERYBODY 1031 00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:21,605 DID: I SAID SHE WAS RIGHT, THE REPORTER, AND I WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW WHO THINKS THEY'RE ON MY 1032 00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:22,139 REPORTER, AND I WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW WHO THINKS THEY'RE ON MY SIDE ON THIS. 1033 00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:23,507 TO KNOW WHO THINKS THEY'RE ON MY SIDE ON THIS. MY SIDE IS THE TRUTH AND MY SIDE 1034 00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:24,841 SIDE ON THIS. MY SIDE IS THE TRUTH AND MY SIDE IS ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY. 1035 00:32:24,843 --> 00:32:25,976 MY SIDE IS THE TRUTH AND MY SIDE IS ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY. I SAID IT. 1036 00:32:25,978 --> 00:32:26,977 IS ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY. I SAID IT. I DON'T WANT ANYBODY FIGHTING 1037 00:32:26,979 --> 00:32:27,978 I SAID IT. I DON'T WANT ANYBODY FIGHTING FOR ME OR FIGHTING HER OR 1038 00:32:27,980 --> 00:32:29,546 I DON'T WANT ANYBODY FIGHTING FOR ME OR FIGHTING HER OR ANYBODY ELSE. 1039 00:32:29,548 --> 00:32:32,182 FOR ME OR FIGHTING HER OR ANYBODY ELSE. I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO BE 1040 00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:32,649 ANYBODY ELSE. I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO BE HONORABLE. 1041 00:32:32,651 --> 00:32:34,551 I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO BE HONORABLE. I ALWAYS TAKE CREDITED FOR BEING 1042 00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:36,653 HONORABLE. I ALWAYS TAKE CREDITED FOR BEING CANDID AND SAYING THINGS I 1043 00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:37,721 I ALWAYS TAKE CREDITED FOR BEING CANDID AND SAYING THINGS I SHOULDN'T SAY. 1044 00:32:37,723 --> 00:32:38,689 CANDID AND SAYING THINGS I SHOULDN'T SAY. BUT PART OF CANDOR IS BEING 1045 00:32:38,691 --> 00:32:40,657 SHOULDN'T SAY. BUT PART OF CANDOR IS BEING HONEST AND SAYING, YEAH, I DID 1046 00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:40,824 BUT PART OF CANDOR IS BEING HONEST AND SAYING, YEAH, I DID IT. 1047 00:32:40,826 --> 00:32:42,025 HONEST AND SAYING, YEAH, I DID IT. THE NEXT DAY I TOLD THE 1048 00:32:42,027 --> 00:32:43,593 IT. THE NEXT DAY I TOLD THE PRESIDENT OF MY NETWORK I'M 1049 00:32:43,595 --> 00:32:45,996 THE NEXT DAY I TOLD THE PRESIDENT OF MY NETWORK I'M LEAVING, AND ON THAT MONDAY 1050 00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:47,230 PRESIDENT OF MY NETWORK I'M LEAVING, AND ON THAT MONDAY NIGHT, THEY LET ME GIVE A SPEECH 1051 00:32:47,232 --> 00:32:48,632 LEAVING, AND ON THAT MONDAY NIGHT, THEY LET ME GIVE A SPEECH TO THE PEOPLE TELLING THEM I 1052 00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:49,533 NIGHT, THEY LET ME GIVE A SPEECH TO THE PEOPLE TELLING THEM I MISS THEM. 1053 00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:54,104 TO THE PEOPLE TELLING THEM I MISS THEM. I DID AN OLD LINE FROM VICTOR, 1054 00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:56,673 MISS THEM. I DID AN OLD LINE FROM VICTOR, IT'S NOT GOOD BUY BUT TILL WE 1055 00:32:56,675 --> 00:32:57,541 I DID AN OLD LINE FROM VICTOR, IT'S NOT GOOD BUY BUT TILL WE MEET AGAIN. 1056 00:32:57,543 --> 00:32:59,042 IT'S NOT GOOD BUY BUT TILL WE MEET AGAIN. AND I WANTED TO SAY THEM TILL WE 1057 00:32:59,044 --> 00:32:59,943 MEET AGAIN. AND I WANTED TO SAY THEM TILL WE MEET AGAIN. 1058 00:32:59,945 --> 00:33:00,677 AND I WANTED TO SAY THEM TILL WE MEET AGAIN. I MISS PEOPLE. 1059 00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:02,279 MEET AGAIN. I MISS PEOPLE. PEOPLE COME UP AND SAY I MISS 1060 00:33:02,281 --> 00:33:02,446 I MISS PEOPLE. PEOPLE COME UP AND SAY I MISS YOU. 1061 00:33:02,448 --> 00:33:04,014 PEOPLE COME UP AND SAY I MISS YOU. I SAY I MISS YOU, TOO! 1062 00:33:04,016 --> 00:33:08,085 YOU. I SAY I MISS YOU, TOO! I WISH I WERE STILL ON THE SHOW. 1063 00:33:08,087 --> 00:33:09,519 I SAY I MISS YOU, TOO! I WISH I WERE STILL ON THE SHOW. BUT I'M 75. 1064 00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:10,921 I WISH I WERE STILL ON THE SHOW. BUT I'M 75. SOONER OR LATER YOU HAVE TO WALK 1065 00:33:10,923 --> 00:33:12,656 BUT I'M 75. SOONER OR LATER YOU HAVE TO WALK OUT THE DOOR AND CONCEDE THE 1066 00:33:12,658 --> 00:33:13,523 SOONER OR LATER YOU HAVE TO WALK OUT THE DOOR AND CONCEDE THE FACT YOU'RE OLD. 1067 00:33:13,525 --> 00:33:16,693 OUT THE DOOR AND CONCEDE THE FACT YOU'RE OLD. BUT OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW 1068 00:33:16,695 --> 00:33:27,604 FACT YOU'RE OLD. BUT OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW TRICKS AS TIPP O'NEIL AND I 1069 00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:27,804 BUT OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW TRICKS AS TIPP O'NEIL AND I SAID. 1070 00:33:27,806 --> 00:33:28,638 TRICKS AS TIPP O'NEIL AND I SAID. >> Stephen: A LOT OF PEOPLE 1071 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,340 SAID. >> Stephen: A LOT OF PEOPLE SAID I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT 1072 00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,709 >> Stephen: A LOT OF PEOPLE SAID I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT CHRIS HAD TO SAY ABOUT THE 1073 00:33:32,711 --> 00:33:34,244 SAID I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT CHRIS HAD TO SAY ABOUT THE ELECTION. 1074 00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:36,546 CHRIS HAD TO SAY ABOUT THE ELECTION. WHAT NOVEMBER 5 WAS HEN POISONED 1075 00:33:36,548 --> 00:33:37,714 ELECTION. WHAT NOVEMBER 5 WAS HEN POISONED THE NATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS WITH 1076 00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:40,417 WHAT NOVEMBER 5 WAS HEN POISONED THE NATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS WITH HIS CLAIMS AND THE 7th WHEN HE 1077 00:33:40,419 --> 00:33:40,617 THE NATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS WITH HIS CLAIMS AND THE 7th WHEN HE LOST. 1078 00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:41,385 HIS CLAIMS AND THE 7th WHEN HE LOST. HOW MUCH DID YOU WANT TO TALK 1079 00:33:41,387 --> 00:33:42,486 LOST. HOW MUCH DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ELECTION BECAUSE YOU 1080 00:33:42,488 --> 00:33:44,454 HOW MUCH DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ELECTION BECAUSE YOU HAVE SUCH PERSPECTIVE ON THIS? 1081 00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:46,089 ABOUT THIS ELECTION BECAUSE YOU HAVE SUCH PERSPECTIVE ON THIS? >> WELL, WE HAD A WONDERFUL 1082 00:33:46,091 --> 00:33:46,323 HAVE SUCH PERSPECTIVE ON THIS? >> WELL, WE HAD A WONDERFUL TURNOUT. 1083 00:33:46,325 --> 00:33:50,160 >> WELL, WE HAD A WONDERFUL TURNOUT. WE HAD TO LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE. 1084 00:33:50,162 --> 00:33:53,497 TURNOUT. WE HAD TO LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE. TRUMP GOT 74 MILLION VOTES BUT 1085 00:33:53,499 --> 00:33:55,499 WE HAD TO LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE. TRUMP GOT 74 MILLION VOTES BUT BIDEN GOT 8 IS MILLION. 1086 00:33:55,501 --> 00:34:00,137 TRUMP GOT 74 MILLION VOTES BUT BIDEN GOT 8 IS MILLION. 71 MILLION VOTES IS NOT A 1087 00:34:00,139 --> 00:34:00,404 BIDEN GOT 8 IS MILLION. 71 MILLION VOTES IS NOT A SQUEAKER. 1088 00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:02,139 71 MILLION VOTES IS NOT A SQUEAKER. IT'S NOT LIKE NIXON, YOU COULD 1089 00:34:02,141 --> 00:34:03,440 SQUEAKER. IT'S NOT LIKE NIXON, YOU COULD ARGUE ABOUT THE CHICAGO OR 1090 00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:04,841 IT'S NOT LIKE NIXON, YOU COULD ARGUE ABOUT THE CHICAGO OR TEXAS' COUNT, YOU COULD ARGUE 1091 00:34:04,843 --> 00:34:05,342 ARGUE ABOUT THE CHICAGO OR TEXAS' COUNT, YOU COULD ARGUE ABOUT THAT. 1092 00:34:05,344 --> 00:34:10,447 TEXAS' COUNT, YOU COULD ARGUE ABOUT THAT. HE SAT DOWN WITH JACK KENNEDY IN 1093 00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:12,182 ABOUT THAT. HE SAT DOWN WITH JACK KENNEDY IN KEYBISCANE, FLORIDA, THEY HAD A 1094 00:34:12,184 --> 00:34:13,617 HE SAT DOWN WITH JACK KENNEDY IN KEYBISCANE, FLORIDA, THEY HAD A BOTTLE OF COKE AND TALKED ABOUT 1095 00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:16,119 KEYBISCANE, FLORIDA, THEY HAD A BOTTLE OF COKE AND TALKED ABOUT IT AND NIXON MADE IT CLEAR 1096 00:34:16,121 --> 00:34:16,686 BOTTLE OF COKE AND TALKED ABOUT IT AND NIXON MADE IT CLEAR KENNEDY WON. 1097 00:34:16,688 --> 00:34:18,755 IT AND NIXON MADE IT CLEAR KENNEDY WON. AND THAT'S WHAT A NOBLE PERSON 1098 00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,690 KENNEDY WON. AND THAT'S WHAT A NOBLE PERSON DOES AND TRUMP HAS NOT BEEN 1099 00:34:20,692 --> 00:34:20,891 AND THAT'S WHAT A NOBLE PERSON DOES AND TRUMP HAS NOT BEEN NOBLE. 1100 00:34:20,893 --> 00:34:22,859 DOES AND TRUMP HAS NOT BEEN NOBLE. PART OF IT IS THE MAN HAS NO 1101 00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:24,261 NOBLE. PART OF IT IS THE MAN HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF AMERICAN HISTORY, 1102 00:34:24,263 --> 00:34:26,129 PART OF IT IS THE MAN HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF AMERICAN HISTORY, NO LOVE FOR IT, HE DOESN'T KNOW 1103 00:34:26,131 --> 00:34:27,631 KNOWLEDGE OF AMERICAN HISTORY, NO LOVE FOR IT, HE DOESN'T KNOW THE RULES OF LIFE POLITICALLY. 1104 00:34:27,633 --> 00:34:29,699 NO LOVE FOR IT, HE DOESN'T KNOW THE RULES OF LIFE POLITICALLY. I LOVE DEMOCRACY, OUR SYSTEM, I 1105 00:34:29,701 --> 00:34:30,901 THE RULES OF LIFE POLITICALLY. I LOVE DEMOCRACY, OUR SYSTEM, I WORKED ON THE INSIDE, I PLAYED 1106 00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:31,368 I LOVE DEMOCRACY, OUR SYSTEM, I WORKED ON THE INSIDE, I PLAYED THE GAME. 1107 00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:33,737 WORKED ON THE INSIDE, I PLAYED THE GAME. I WAS NOT A VIRGIN ABOUT IT, I 1108 00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:36,039 THE GAME. I WAS NOT A VIRGIN ABOUT IT, I KNEW HOW TO PLAY HARD BALL 1109 00:34:36,041 --> 00:34:36,306 I WAS NOT A VIRGIN ABOUT IT, I KNEW HOW TO PLAY HARD BALL POLITICS. 1110 00:34:36,308 --> 00:34:38,175 KNEW HOW TO PLAY HARD BALL POLITICS. I PULLED SOME NUMBERS WHEN I 1111 00:34:38,177 --> 00:34:40,010 POLITICS. I PULLED SOME NUMBERS WHEN I TORQUED FOR TIPP O'NEIL. 1112 00:34:40,012 --> 00:34:40,877 I PULLED SOME NUMBERS WHEN I TORQUED FOR TIPP O'NEIL. I DID THINGS LIKE CALLING OUT 1113 00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:42,712 TORQUED FOR TIPP O'NEIL. I DID THINGS LIKE CALLING OUT THE CHIEF ENGINEER OF THE 1114 00:34:42,714 --> 00:34:45,182 I DID THINGS LIKE CALLING OUT THE CHIEF ENGINEER OF THE REPUBLICAN LEADER WHEN HE WAS 1115 00:34:45,184 --> 00:34:46,049 THE CHIEF ENGINEER OF THE REPUBLICAN LEADER WHEN HE WAS ATTACKING INFRASTRUCTURE AND I 1116 00:34:46,051 --> 00:34:48,652 REPUBLICAN LEADER WHEN HE WAS ATTACKING INFRASTRUCTURE AND I GOT A LIST OF ALL BRIDGES BELOW 1117 00:34:48,654 --> 00:34:50,454 ATTACKING INFRASTRUCTURE AND I GOT A LIST OF ALL BRIDGES BELOW SAFETY CODE AND TIPP WENT ON THE 1118 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,556 GOT A LIST OF ALL BRIDGES BELOW SAFETY CODE AND TIPP WENT ON THE FLOOR AND READ THE NAMES AND 1119 00:34:52,558 --> 00:34:53,590 SAFETY CODE AND TIPP WENT ON THE FLOOR AND READ THE NAMES AND ADDRESSES OF THE BRIDGES IN 1120 00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:55,725 FLOOR AND READ THE NAMES AND ADDRESSES OF THE BRIDGES IN FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN 1121 00:34:55,727 --> 00:34:57,294 ADDRESSES OF THE BRIDGES IN FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN LEADER -- IN YOUR OWN DISTRICT, 1122 00:34:57,296 --> 00:34:58,695 FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN LEADER -- IN YOUR OWN DISTRICT, THE SCHOOL BUSES HAVE TO DRIVE 1123 00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:00,664 LEADER -- IN YOUR OWN DISTRICT, THE SCHOOL BUSES HAVE TO DRIVE OVER THE BRIDGES THAT ARE 1124 00:35:00,666 --> 00:35:02,032 THE SCHOOL BUSES HAVE TO DRIVE OVER THE BRIDGES THAT ARE RICKETY AND DANGEROUS WHY DON'T 1125 00:35:02,034 --> 00:35:03,366 OVER THE BRIDGES THAT ARE RICKETY AND DANGEROUS WHY DON'T YOU FIX THEM? 1126 00:35:03,368 --> 00:35:04,634 RICKETY AND DANGEROUS WHY DON'T YOU FIX THEM? >> Stephen: WHY ISN'T SOMEBODY 1127 00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:07,871 YOU FIX THEM? >> Stephen: WHY ISN'T SOMEBODY DOING THAT IN THE SENATE NOW? 1128 00:35:07,873 --> 00:35:08,505 >> Stephen: WHY ISN'T SOMEBODY DOING THAT IN THE SENATE NOW? >> POLITICS CAN BE TOUGH AND FUN 1129 00:35:08,507 --> 00:35:11,274 DOING THAT IN THE SENATE NOW? >> POLITICS CAN BE TOUGH AND FUN AND HONEST AND I LOVED DOING 1130 00:35:11,276 --> 00:35:11,475 >> POLITICS CAN BE TOUGH AND FUN AND HONEST AND I LOVED DOING THAT. 1131 00:35:11,477 --> 00:35:12,142 AND HONEST AND I LOVED DOING THAT. IN THE MIDDLE TO HAVE THE NIGHT 1132 00:35:12,144 --> 00:35:14,111 THAT. IN THE MIDDLE TO HAVE THE NIGHT I ORGANIZED A UNION OF 1133 00:35:14,113 --> 00:35:15,445 IN THE MIDDLE TO HAVE THE NIGHT I ORGANIZED A UNION OF STEELWORKERS TO GO TO THE WHITE 1134 00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:16,813 I ORGANIZED A UNION OF STEELWORKERS TO GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING AND 1135 00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:20,684 STEELWORKERS TO GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING AND HAVE A BIG DEMONSTRATION AND I 1136 00:35:20,686 --> 00:35:24,020 HOUSE AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING AND HAVE A BIG DEMONSTRATION AND I MADE SURE I HAD DONUTS AND 1137 00:35:24,022 --> 00:35:25,822 HAVE A BIG DEMONSTRATION AND I MADE SURE I HAD DONUTS AND COFFEE FOR THEM IN CASE THEY 1138 00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:28,191 MADE SURE I HAD DONUTS AND COFFEE FOR THEM IN CASE THEY SAID IT'S BOTH PARTY'S FAULT, 1139 00:35:28,193 --> 00:35:29,426 COFFEE FOR THEM IN CASE THEY SAID IT'S BOTH PARTY'S FAULT, IT'S ONE PARTY'S FAULT. 1140 00:35:29,428 --> 00:35:31,194 SAID IT'S BOTH PARTY'S FAULT, IT'S ONE PARTY'S FAULT. >> Stephen: THE BOOK IS "THIS 1141 00:35:31,196 --> 00:35:32,929 IT'S ONE PARTY'S FAULT. >> Stephen: THE BOOK IS "THIS COUNTRY," FULL OF STORIES JUST 1142 00:35:32,931 --> 00:35:34,664 >> Stephen: THE BOOK IS "THIS COUNTRY," FULL OF STORIES JUST LIKE THAT FROM THE MAN CHRIS 1143 00:35:34,666 --> 00:35:35,232 COUNTRY," FULL OF STORIES JUST LIKE THAT FROM THE MAN CHRIS MATTHEWS. 1144 00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:38,969 LIKE THAT FROM THE MAN CHRIS MATTHEWS. BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY 1145 00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:39,936 MATTHEWS. BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY "CYNTHIA ERIVO. 1146 00:35:46,544 --> 00:35:49,446 ♪♪♪ 1147 00:36:01,959 --> 00:36:04,327 >> I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON MY PILLOWS FOR SOME TIME. I LOVE THEM. 1148 00:36:04,329 --> 00:36:05,762 PILLOWS FOR SOME TIME. I LOVE THEM. SIMPLY THE VERY BEST PILLOWS 1149 00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:06,530 I LOVE THEM. SIMPLY THE VERY BEST PILLOWS EVER MADE. 1150 00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:08,165 SIMPLY THE VERY BEST PILLOWS EVER MADE. >> HEY, RUDY, I SAW YOU 1151 00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:10,100 EVER MADE. >> HEY, RUDY, I SAW YOU PROMOTING MY PILLOWS AND I GOT 1152 00:36:10,102 --> 00:36:10,500 >> HEY, RUDY, I SAW YOU PROMOTING MY PILLOWS AND I GOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 1153 00:36:10,502 --> 00:36:12,135 PROMOTING MY PILLOWS AND I GOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU. IF YOU NEED HELP, A WARM MEAL, 1154 00:36:12,137 --> 00:36:13,603 WORRIED ABOUT YOU. IF YOU NEED HELP, A WARM MEAL, GIVE ME A SHOUT. 1155 00:36:13,605 --> 00:36:16,306 IF YOU NEED HELP, A WARM MEAL, GIVE ME A SHOUT. I JUST MET THE MOST PATHETIC 1156 00:36:16,308 --> 00:36:18,141 GIVE ME A SHOUT. I JUST MET THE MOST PATHETIC ( BLEEP ) ALIVE AND IT MADE ME 1157 00:36:18,143 --> 00:36:19,442 I JUST MET THE MOST PATHETIC ( BLEEP ) ALIVE AND IT MADE ME REALIZE I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN IN 1158 00:36:19,444 --> 00:36:21,378 ( BLEEP ) ALIVE AND IT MADE ME REALIZE I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD! 1159 00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:21,645 REALIZE I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD! ♪♪♪ 1160 00:36:29,253 --> 00:36:33,857 >> Stephen: PERFORMING "THE GOOD" FROM HER FORTHCOMING DEBUT ALBUM, 1161 00:36:33,859 --> 00:36:34,391 GOOD" FROM HER FORTHCOMING DEBUT ALBUM, "CHAPTER ONE, VERSE ONE," 1162 00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:36,960 FORTHCOMING DEBUT ALBUM, "CHAPTER ONE, VERSE ONE," CYNTHIA ERIVO. 1163 00:36:36,962 --> 00:36:38,628 "CHAPTER ONE, VERSE ONE," CYNTHIA ERIVO. ♪♪♪ 1164 00:36:38,630 --> 00:36:43,099 CYNTHIA ERIVO. ♪♪♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 1165 00:36:43,101 --> 00:36:50,073 ♪♪♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ GONE IS THE WAY WE USED TO SMILE 1166 00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:50,640 ♪ ♪ ♪ GONE IS THE WAY WE USED TO SMILE ♪ MY DEAR 1167 00:36:50,642 --> 00:36:55,111 GONE IS THE WAY WE USED TO SMILE ♪ MY DEAR HOPE DOESN'T SPRING FROM 1168 00:36:55,113 --> 00:37:02,619 ♪ MY DEAR HOPE DOESN'T SPRING FROM ♪ ANYWHERE 1169 00:37:02,621 --> 00:37:03,153 HOPE DOESN'T SPRING FROM ♪ ANYWHERE WATCHING THE WORLD FORGET 1170 00:37:03,155 --> 00:37:08,625 ♪ ANYWHERE WATCHING THE WORLD FORGET ♪ TO BREATHE 1171 00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:14,598 WATCHING THE WORLD FORGET ♪ TO BREATHE WISH WE COULD STOP AND FEEL 1172 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:18,969 ♪ TO BREATHE WISH WE COULD STOP AND FEEL ♪ THE BREEZE 1173 00:37:18,971 --> 00:37:19,236 WISH WE COULD STOP AND FEEL ♪ THE BREEZE BUT I KNOW 1174 00:37:19,238 --> 00:37:23,106 ♪ THE BREEZE BUT I KNOW ♪ THERE'S NO POINT IN WAITING 1175 00:37:23,108 --> 00:37:26,142 BUT I KNOW ♪ THERE'S NO POINT IN WAITING FOR WHAT I CAN'T SEE 1176 00:37:26,144 --> 00:37:26,610 ♪ THERE'S NO POINT IN WAITING FOR WHAT I CAN'T SEE ♪ HOLDING MY CHEST 1177 00:37:26,612 --> 00:37:30,580 FOR WHAT I CAN'T SEE ♪ HOLDING MY CHEST AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT 1178 00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:31,114 ♪ HOLDING MY CHEST AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT ♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN 1179 00:37:31,116 --> 00:37:34,951 AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT ♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN 1180 00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:35,318 ♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN ♪ WHAT CAN I DO 1181 00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,622 AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY 1182 00:37:38,624 --> 00:37:42,158 ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY ♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH 1183 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,093 TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY ♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE 1184 00:37:43,095 --> 00:37:44,628 ♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE 1185 00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:47,097 TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD 1186 00:37:47,099 --> 00:37:50,600 ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE 1187 00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:53,270 GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD 1188 00:37:53,272 --> 00:37:55,105 ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE 1189 00:37:55,107 --> 00:37:56,606 GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY 1190 00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:59,109 ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY ♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME 1191 00:37:59,111 --> 00:38:02,579 DAYS GO BY ♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME BUT I SEE THE LIGHT 1192 00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:07,117 ♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME BUT I SEE THE LIGHT ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD 1193 00:38:07,119 --> 00:38:08,618 BUT I SEE THE LIGHT ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GONE ARE THE LIES WE USED 1194 00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:13,823 ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GONE ARE THE LIES WE USED ♪ TO TELL OURSELVES 1195 00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:14,624 GONE ARE THE LIES WE USED ♪ TO TELL OURSELVES THERE'S ONLY SO LONG 1196 00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:20,630 ♪ TO TELL OURSELVES THERE'S ONLY SO LONG ♪ WE CAN LIVE A FAIRY TALE 1197 00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:31,074 THERE'S ONLY SO LONG ♪ WE CAN LIVE A FAIRY TALE INNOCENT CHILDREN STOLEN YOUTH 1198 00:38:31,076 --> 00:38:35,111 ♪ WE CAN LIVE A FAIRY TALE INNOCENT CHILDREN STOLEN YOUTH ♪ IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES 1199 00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:42,786 INNOCENT CHILDREN STOLEN YOUTH ♪ IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL YOU LOSE 1200 00:38:42,788 --> 00:38:43,420 ♪ IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL YOU LOSE ♪ I KNOW THERE'S NO GROWING UP 1201 00:38:43,422 --> 00:38:47,123 UNTIL YOU LOSE ♪ I KNOW THERE'S NO GROWING UP IF YOU CAN'T FACE THE TRUTH 1202 00:38:47,125 --> 00:38:50,627 ♪ I KNOW THERE'S NO GROWING UP IF YOU CAN'T FACE THE TRUTH ♪ HOLDING MY CHEST 1203 00:38:50,629 --> 00:38:52,862 IF YOU CAN'T FACE THE TRUTH ♪ HOLDING MY CHEST AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT 1204 00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:55,098 ♪ HOLDING MY CHEST AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT ♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN 1205 00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:56,633 AS ALL MY TEARS FALL OUT ♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN 1206 00:38:56,635 --> 00:38:59,102 ♪ MY MIND'S IN A SPIN AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN ♪ WHAT CAN I DO 1207 00:38:59,104 --> 00:39:01,805 AS ALL THE PAIN POURS DOWN ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY 1208 00:39:01,807 --> 00:39:02,605 ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY ♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH 1209 00:39:02,607 --> 00:39:05,475 TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY ♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE 1210 00:39:05,477 --> 00:39:07,110 ♪ I HAVEN'T THE STRENGTH TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE 1211 00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:08,611 TO MAKE THE RAINFALL DIE ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD 1212 00:39:08,613 --> 00:39:11,081 ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE 1213 00:39:11,083 --> 00:39:14,617 GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD 1214 00:39:14,619 --> 00:39:15,118 ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ♪ WHAT CAN I DO 1215 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:19,122 GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY 1216 00:39:19,124 --> 00:39:20,623 ♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY ♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME 1217 00:39:20,625 --> 00:39:23,093 TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY ♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME BUT I SEE THE LIGHT 1218 00:39:23,095 --> 00:39:39,609 ♪ WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME BUT I SEE THE LIGHT ♪ JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD 1219 00:39:41,779 --> 00:39:47,117 JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD ♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE 1220 00:39:47,119 --> 00:39:50,620 ♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE ♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD 1221 00:39:50,622 --> 00:39:51,154 JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE ♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD WHAT CAN I DO 1222 00:39:51,156 --> 00:39:55,091 ♪ GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD WHAT CAN I DO ♪ TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY 1223 00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:56,626 WHAT CAN I DO ♪ TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME 1224 00:39:56,628 --> 00:39:59,095 ♪ TO MAKE THESE DAYS GO BY WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME ♪ BUT I SEE THE LIGHT 1225 00:39:59,097 --> 00:40:02,599 WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS ME ♪ BUT I SEE THE LIGHT JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD 1226 00:40:02,601 --> 00:40:04,601 ♪ BUT I SEE THE LIGHT JUST WANNA REMEMBER THE GOOD ♪ 1227 00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:12,475 >> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR "'A' LATE SHOW." TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS 1228 00:40:12,477 --> 00:40:13,109 LATE SHOW." TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE CLIVE OWEN AND COMEDIAN 1229 00:40:13,111 --> 00:40:15,545 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE CLIVE OWEN AND COMEDIAN ZIWE. 1230 00:40:15,547 --> 00:40:18,381 WILL BE CLIVE OWEN AND COMEDIAN ZIWE. JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, GOODNIGHT. 1231 00:40:18,383 --> 00:40:18,648 ZIWE. JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, GOODNIGHT. ♪♪♪ 1232 00:40:19,617 --> 00:40:21,918 Captioning sponsored by CBS 1233 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:26,189 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org