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<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>
>> NEARLY 90% OF REPUBLICANS IN
THE HOUSE VOTED AGAINST A

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00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,240
>> NEARLY 90% OF REPUBLICANS IN
THE HOUSE VOTED AGAINST A
BIPARTISAN COMMISSION ON THE

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00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:10,709
THE HOUSE VOTED AGAINST A
BIPARTISAN COMMISSION ON THE
JANUARY 6 INSURRECTION.

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00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,311
BIPARTISAN COMMISSION ON THE
JANUARY 6 INSURRECTION.
EVEN MIKE PENCE'S OWN BROTHER,

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00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:14,179
JANUARY 6 INSURRECTION.
EVEN MIKE PENCE'S OWN BROTHER,
CONGRESSMAN GREG PENCE, VOTED

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EVEN MIKE PENCE'S OWN BROTHER,
CONGRESSMAN GREG PENCE, VOTED
AGAINST THE MEASURE.

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00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,248
CONGRESSMAN GREG PENCE, VOTED
AGAINST THE MEASURE.
>> THEY WANTED TO KILL HIS

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AGAINST THE MEASURE.
>> THEY WANTED TO KILL HIS
BROTHER.

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>> THEY WANTED TO KILL HIS
BROTHER.
THIS DIDN'T EVEN JUST PARTY OVER

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00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,252
BROTHER.
THIS DIDN'T EVEN JUST PARTY OVER
COUNTRY.

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THIS DIDN'T EVEN JUST PARTY OVER
COUNTRY.
THIS IS PARTY OVER FAMILY.

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COUNTRY.
THIS IS PARTY OVER FAMILY.
♪ ♪ ♪

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>> I SUPPORT THE PRESIDENT.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW"

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♪ ♪ ♪
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW"
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.

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>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW"
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT: COMMISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

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WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT: COMMISSION IMPOSSIBLE.
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES

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TONIGHT: COMMISSION IMPOSSIBLE.
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES
JOHN KRASINSKI, AND MUSICAL

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PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES
JOHN KRASINSKI, AND MUSICAL
GUEST YO-YO MA.

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JOHN KRASINSKI, AND MUSICAL
GUEST YO-YO MA.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY

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GUEST YO-YO MA.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.

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FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.
NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED

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HUMAN.
NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED
SULLIVAN OFFICE BUILDING IN NEW

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NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED
SULLIVAN OFFICE BUILDING IN NEW
YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!

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SULLIVAN OFFICE BUILDING IN NEW
YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

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YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

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>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

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WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
IT'S A VERY SPECIAL DAY HERE IN

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I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
IT'S A VERY SPECIAL DAY HERE IN
THE ED SULLIVAN CONVERTED

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IT'S A VERY SPECIAL DAY HERE IN
THE ED SULLIVAN CONVERTED
STORAGE CLOSET, BECAUSE EVIE IS

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THE ED SULLIVAN CONVERTED
STORAGE CLOSET, BECAUSE EVIE IS
HERE.

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STORAGE CLOSET, BECAUSE EVIE IS
HERE.
AND ALSO, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN

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HERE.
AND ALSO, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN
14 MONTHS, I WILL HAVE AN ACTUAL

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AND ALSO, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN
14 MONTHS, I WILL HAVE AN ACTUAL
IN-PERSON GUEST TONIGHT--

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14 MONTHS, I WILL HAVE AN ACTUAL
IN-PERSON GUEST TONIGHT--
MR. JOHN KRASINSKI, WHO'S HERE

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IN-PERSON GUEST TONIGHT--
MR. JOHN KRASINSKI, WHO'S HERE
TO TALK ABOUT HIS NEW MOVIE, "A

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MR. JOHN KRASINSKI, WHO'S HERE
TO TALK ABOUT HIS NEW MOVIE, "A
QUIET PLACE II."

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TO TALK ABOUT HIS NEW MOVIE, "A
QUIET PLACE II."
WELL, HE'S COME TO THE RIGHT

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QUIET PLACE II."
WELL, HE'S COME TO THE RIGHT
SPOT, BECAUSE FOR THE LAST YEAR,

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WELL, HE'S COME TO THE RIGHT
SPOT, BECAUSE FOR THE LAST YEAR,
THERE HAS BEEN NO QUIETER PLACE

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SPOT, BECAUSE FOR THE LAST YEAR,
THERE HAS BEEN NO QUIETER PLACE
ON EARTH THAN THIS ROOM.

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THERE HAS BEEN NO QUIETER PLACE
ON EARTH THAN THIS ROOM.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

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ON EARTH THAN THIS ROOM.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, THERE'S

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(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, THERE'S
NOTHING LIKE TELLING A JOKE AND

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I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, THERE'S
NOTHING LIKE TELLING A JOKE AND
THEN HEARING YOUR OWN HEARTBEAT.

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NOTHING LIKE TELLING A JOKE AND
THEN HEARING YOUR OWN HEARTBEAT.
ANYWAY, THANK YOU FOR BEING

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THEN HEARING YOUR OWN HEARTBEAT.
ANYWAY, THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE, JOHN!

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ANYWAY, THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE, JOHN!
>> IT'S SO GOOD TO BE HERE.

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HERE, JOHN!
>> IT'S SO GOOD TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR BEING

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>> IT'S SO GOOD TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR BEING
IN THE SECOND CHAIR.

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>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR BEING
IN THE SECOND CHAIR.
WHEN THEY SAID, DO YOU WANT TO

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IN THE SECOND CHAIR.
WHEN THEY SAID, DO YOU WANT TO
HAVE JOHN KRASINSKI BE YOUR

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WHEN THEY SAID, DO YOU WANT TO
HAVE JOHN KRASINSKI BE YOUR
FIRST LIVE, IN-PERSON GUEST, I

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HAVE JOHN KRASINSKI BE YOUR
FIRST LIVE, IN-PERSON GUEST, I
SAID, SURE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

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FIRST LIVE, IN-PERSON GUEST, I
SAID, SURE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
AND EVIE SAID, WHAT ARE YOU

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SAID, SURE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
AND EVIE SAID, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

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AND EVIE SAID, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
>> THAT'S RIGHT, BACK OFF,

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TALKING ABOUT?
>> THAT'S RIGHT, BACK OFF,
BUDDY.

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>> THAT'S RIGHT, BACK OFF,
BUDDY.
>> YEAH, NO, I KNEW, I COULD

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BUDDY.
>> YEAH, NO, I KNEW, I COULD
FEEL THE COMPETITION.

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>> YEAH, NO, I KNEW, I COULD
FEEL THE COMPETITION.
THERE'S A WALL OF TENSION.

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FEEL THE COMPETITION.
THERE'S A WALL OF TENSION.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.

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THERE'S A WALL OF TENSION.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
WE WERE GOING TO SIT YOU IN THAT

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>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
WE WERE GOING TO SIT YOU IN THAT
CHAIR, AND SHE'S OBVIOUSLY A

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WE WERE GOING TO SIT YOU IN THAT
CHAIR, AND SHE'S OBVIOUSLY A
LADY, SHE SAID (<i> BLEEP</i> ),

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CHAIR, AND SHE'S OBVIOUSLY A
LADY, SHE SAID (<i> BLEEP</i> ),
THAT'S MY CHAIR.

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LADY, SHE SAID (<i> BLEEP</i> ),
THAT'S MY CHAIR.
>> WHAT?

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THAT'S MY CHAIR.
>> WHAT?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

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>> WHAT?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: THAT'S MY CHAIR.

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(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: THAT'S MY CHAIR.
KRASINSKI CAN GET IN THE RUMBLE

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>> Stephen: THAT'S MY CHAIR.
KRASINSKI CAN GET IN THE RUMBLE
SEAT.

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KRASINSKI CAN GET IN THE RUMBLE
SEAT.
>> I HAVEN'T SEEN A SWITCHBLADE

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SEAT.
>> I HAVEN'T SEEN A SWITCHBLADE
SINCE 1976, AND SHE PULLED ONE

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>> I HAVEN'T SEEN A SWITCHBLADE
SINCE 1976, AND SHE PULLED ONE
OUT.

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SINCE 1976, AND SHE PULLED ONE
OUT.
>> YEAH--

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OUT.
>> YEAH--
>> IT WAS REAL.

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>> YEAH--
>> IT WAS REAL.
>> WELL, WE PLAY ROUGH.

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>> IT WAS REAL.
>> WELL, WE PLAY ROUGH.
>> SHE SAID, I'LL CUT YOU.

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>> WELL, WE PLAY ROUGH.
>> SHE SAID, I'LL CUT YOU.
>> Stephen: ANYWAY, THANK YOU

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>> SHE SAID, I'LL CUT YOU.
>> Stephen: ANYWAY, THANK YOU
FOR BEING HERE.

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>> Stephen: ANYWAY, THANK YOU
FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING RED

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FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING RED
CHAIRS.

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>> THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING RED
CHAIRS.
>> MOVE ON.

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CHAIRS.
>> MOVE ON.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU INSTRUCTING

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>> MOVE ON.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU INSTRUCTING
ME TO MOVE ON?

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>> Stephen: ARE YOU INSTRUCTING
ME TO MOVE ON?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

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ME TO MOVE ON?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
PLEASE DON'T IMAGINE-- PLEASE

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(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
PLEASE DON'T IMAGINE-- PLEASE
DON'T IMAGINE THAT THIS IS GOING

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PLEASE DON'T IMAGINE-- PLEASE
DON'T IMAGINE THAT THIS IS GOING
TO SPEED UP THE SHOW TONIGHT, IN

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DON'T IMAGINE THAT THIS IS GOING
TO SPEED UP THE SHOW TONIGHT, IN
ANY WAY TONIGHT.

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TO SPEED UP THE SHOW TONIGHT, IN
ANY WAY TONIGHT.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

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ANY WAY TONIGHT.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
ANYWAY...

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(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
ANYWAY...
YESTERDAY, THE HOUSE OF

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ANYWAY...
YESTERDAY, THE HOUSE OF
REPRESENTATIVES APPROVED A

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YESTERDAY, THE HOUSE OF
REPRESENTATIVES APPROVED A
BIPARTISAN COMMISSION TO STUDY

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REPRESENTATIVES APPROVED A
BIPARTISAN COMMISSION TO STUDY
THE JANUARY 6 RIOT, BUT 175

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BIPARTISAN COMMISSION TO STUDY
THE JANUARY 6 RIOT, BUT 175
REPUBLICANS VOTED AGAINST IT.

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THE JANUARY 6 RIOT, BUT 175
REPUBLICANS VOTED AGAINST IT.
EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE IN THE

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REPUBLICANS VOTED AGAINST IT.
EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE IN THE
BUILDING WHEN IT WAS ATTACKED BY

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EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE IN THE
BUILDING WHEN IT WAS ATTACKED BY
THE BLOODTHIRSTY MOB, THEY

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BUILDING WHEN IT WAS ATTACKED BY
THE BLOODTHIRSTY MOB, THEY
OPPOSED IT.

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THE BLOODTHIRSTY MOB, THEY
OPPOSED IT.
AS DO THE G.O.P. LEADERS IN THE

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OPPOSED IT.
AS DO THE G.O.P. LEADERS IN THE
SENATE.

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AS DO THE G.O.P. LEADERS IN THE
SENATE.
WHY?

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SENATE.
WHY?
APPARENTLY, REPUBLICANS FEAR A

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WHY?
APPARENTLY, REPUBLICANS FEAR A
JANUARY 6 PROBE COULD UNDERCUT

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APPARENTLY, REPUBLICANS FEAR A
JANUARY 6 PROBE COULD UNDERCUT
THEIR MIDTERM MESSAGE.

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JANUARY 6 PROBE COULD UNDERCUT
THEIR MIDTERM MESSAGE.
THAT MESSAGE?

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THEIR MIDTERM MESSAGE.
THAT MESSAGE?
"RESTORING HONOR TO MR. POTATO

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THAT MESSAGE?
"RESTORING HONOR TO MR. POTATO
HEAD'S PENIS."

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"RESTORING HONOR TO MR. POTATO
HEAD'S PENIS."
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

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HEAD'S PENIS."
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
REPUBLICANS SEEM TO THINK THAT

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(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
REPUBLICANS SEEM TO THINK THAT
IF THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT JANUARY

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00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,309
REPUBLICANS SEEM TO THINK THAT
IF THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT JANUARY
6, NO ONE ELSE WILL EITHER.

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IF THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT JANUARY
6, NO ONE ELSE WILL EITHER.
IT'S ALL LAID OUT IN THE NEW

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6, NO ONE ELSE WILL EITHER.
IT'S ALL LAID OUT IN THE NEW
MOVIE, "A RIOT PLACE."

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IT'S ALL LAID OUT IN THE NEW
MOVIE, "A RIOT PLACE."
YOU LIKE THAT ONE?

117
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MOVIE, "A RIOT PLACE."
YOU LIKE THAT ONE?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

118
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YOU LIKE THAT ONE?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> THAT WAS GREAT.

119
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:11,483
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> THAT WAS GREAT.
THAT WAS GREAT.

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00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,117
>> THAT WAS GREAT.
THAT WAS GREAT.
>> Stephen: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE,

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00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:12,317
THAT WAS GREAT.
>> Stephen: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE,
OKAY?

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>> Stephen: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE,
OKAY?
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )

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00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:13,652
OKAY?
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
THANK YOU.

124
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,255
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

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THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THAT'S HOW YOU GET ONE OF THESE

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00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:19,458
THANK YOU.
THAT'S HOW YOU GET ONE OF THESE
JOBS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

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THAT'S HOW YOU GET ONE OF THESE
JOBS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
SO REPUBLICANS DON'T WANT TO

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00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:23,528
JOBS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
SO REPUBLICANS DON'T WANT TO
FIND OUT WHY THEY WERE ALMOST

129
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,296
SO REPUBLICANS DON'T WANT TO
FIND OUT WHY THEY WERE ALMOST
MURDERED, BECAUSE IT COULD HURT

130
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,063
FIND OUT WHY THEY WERE ALMOST
MURDERED, BECAUSE IT COULD HURT
THEM POLITICALLY.

131
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:25,664
MURDERED, BECAUSE IT COULD HURT
THEM POLITICALLY.
REMINDS ME OF THAT EPISODE OF

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00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,399
THEM POLITICALLY.
REMINDS ME OF THAT EPISODE OF
"SCOOBY DOO."

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00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,267
REMINDS ME OF THAT EPISODE OF
"SCOOBY DOO."
>> IT'S THE GUY WHO TRIED TO

134
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:32,604
"SCOOBY DOO."
>> IT'S THE GUY WHO TRIED TO
KILL US!

135
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:36,275
>> IT'S THE GUY WHO TRIED TO
KILL US!
>> AND I GOT AWAY WITH IT, TOO!

136
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,576
KILL US!
>> AND I GOT AWAY WITH IT, TOO!
THANKS, KIDS!

137
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:38,310
>> AND I GOT AWAY WITH IT, TOO!
THANKS, KIDS!
GOOD LUCK IN THE MIDTERMS!

138
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:39,778
THANKS, KIDS!
GOOD LUCK IN THE MIDTERMS!
>> Stephen: ONE MAN BAFFLED BY

139
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:40,379
GOOD LUCK IN THE MIDTERMS!
>> Stephen: ONE MAN BAFFLED BY
REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION WAS OHIO

140
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,146
>> Stephen: ONE MAN BAFFLED BY
REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION WAS OHIO
CONGRESSMAN AND FULLY VAXED

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00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:44,283
REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION WAS OHIO
CONGRESSMAN AND FULLY VAXED
GUY WHO'S READY TO HUG AGAIN,

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CONGRESSMAN AND FULLY VAXED
GUY WHO'S READY TO HUG AGAIN,
TIM RYAN.

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00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,085
GUY WHO'S READY TO HUG AGAIN,
TIM RYAN.
>> I WANT TO THANK THE GENTLEMAN

144
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:47,653
TIM RYAN.
>> I WANT TO THANK THE GENTLEMAN
FROM NEW YORK AND THE OTHER

145
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:48,253
>> I WANT TO THANK THE GENTLEMAN
FROM NEW YORK AND THE OTHER
REPUBLICANS WHO ARE SUPPORTING

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00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:48,854
FROM NEW YORK AND THE OTHER
REPUBLICANS WHO ARE SUPPORTING
THIS, AND THANK THEM FOR THEIR

147
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,255
REPUBLICANS WHO ARE SUPPORTING
THIS, AND THANK THEM FOR THEIR
BIPARTISANSHIP.

148
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:54,926
THIS, AND THANK THEM FOR THEIR
BIPARTISANSHIP.
TO THE OTHER 90% OF OUR FRIENDS

149
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:55,560
BIPARTISANSHIP.
TO THE OTHER 90% OF OUR FRIENDS
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE:

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00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:56,295
TO THE OTHER 90% OF OUR FRIENDS
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE:
HOLY COW!

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00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,030
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE:
HOLY COW!
INCOHERENCE!

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00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,331
HOLY COW!
INCOHERENCE!
NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING

153
00:04:59,333 --> 00:04:59,831
INCOHERENCE!
NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT.

154
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:00,432
NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT.
BENGHAZI-- YOU GUYS CHASED THE

155
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,267
ABOUT.
BENGHAZI-- YOU GUYS CHASED THE
FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE ALL

156
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,269
BENGHAZI-- YOU GUYS CHASED THE
FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE ALL
OVER THE COUNTRY, SPENT MILLIONS

157
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,371
FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE ALL
OVER THE COUNTRY, SPENT MILLIONS
OF DOLLARS...

158
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,040
OVER THE COUNTRY, SPENT MILLIONS
OF DOLLARS...
WE HAVE PEOPLE SCALING THE

159
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:08,607
OF DOLLARS...
WE HAVE PEOPLE SCALING THE
CAPITOL, HITTING THE CAPITOL

160
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,043
WE HAVE PEOPLE SCALING THE
CAPITOL, HITTING THE CAPITOL
POLICE WITH LEAD PIPES ACROSS

161
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,277
CAPITOL, HITTING THE CAPITOL
POLICE WITH LEAD PIPES ACROSS
THE HEAD-- AND WE CAN'T GET

162
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,279
POLICE WITH LEAD PIPES ACROSS
THE HEAD-- AND WE CAN'T GET
BIPARTISANSHIP?

163
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,281
THE HEAD-- AND WE CAN'T GET
BIPARTISANSHIP?
WHAT ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN IN THIS

164
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,884
BIPARTISANSHIP?
WHAT ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN IN THIS
COUNTRY?

165
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,085
WHAT ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN IN THIS
COUNTRY?
COPS-- THIS IS A SLAP IN THE

166
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:20,719
COUNTRY?
COPS-- THIS IS A SLAP IN THE
FACE TO EVERY RANK-AND-FILE COP

167
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:24,256
COPS-- THIS IS A SLAP IN THE
FACE TO EVERY RANK-AND-FILE COP
IN THE UNITED STATES.

168
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:26,291
FACE TO EVERY RANK-AND-FILE COP
IN THE UNITED STATES.
IF WE'RE GOING TO TAKE ON CHINA,

169
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,260
IN THE UNITED STATES.
IF WE'RE GOING TO TAKE ON CHINA,
IF WE'RE GOING TO REVERSE

170
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:30,028
IF WE'RE GOING TO TAKE ON CHINA,
IF WE'RE GOING TO REVERSE
CLIMATE CHANGE, WE NEED TWO

171
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,496
IF WE'RE GOING TO REVERSE
CLIMATE CHANGE, WE NEED TWO
POLITICAL PARTIES IN THIS

172
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,297
CLIMATE CHANGE, WE NEED TWO
POLITICAL PARTIES IN THIS
COUNTRY THAT ARE BOTH LIVING IN

173
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:32,998
POLITICAL PARTIES IN THIS
COUNTRY THAT ARE BOTH LIVING IN
REALITY, AND YOU AIN'T ONE OF

174
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,268
COUNTRY THAT ARE BOTH LIVING IN
REALITY, AND YOU AIN'T ONE OF
THEM.

175
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:38,270
REALITY, AND YOU AIN'T ONE OF
THEM.
>> Stephen: REPRESENTATIVE RYAN,

176
00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:41,340
THEM.
>> Stephen: REPRESENTATIVE RYAN,
I THINK YOU DROPPED THIS.

177
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,974
>> Stephen: REPRESENTATIVE RYAN,
I THINK YOU DROPPED THIS.
BECAUSE, WOW, WHAT AN

178
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,276
I THINK YOU DROPPED THIS.
BECAUSE, WOW, WHAT AN
IMPASSIONED SPEECH.

179
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:45,877
BECAUSE, WOW, WHAT AN
IMPASSIONED SPEECH.
THAT GUY SHOULD RUN FOR

180
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:46,478
IMPASSIONED SPEECH.
THAT GUY SHOULD RUN FOR
PRESIDENT.

181
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,246
THAT GUY SHOULD RUN FOR
PRESIDENT.
WHAT?

182
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,282
PRESIDENT.
WHAT?
REALLY?

183
00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,583
WHAT?
REALLY?
OKAY.

184
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,250
REALLY?
OKAY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

185
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,218
OKAY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WASN'T PLEASED

186
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:55,220
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WASN'T PLEASED
WITH REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION?

187
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:55,821
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WASN'T PLEASED
WITH REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION?
THE CAPITOL POLICE.

188
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:56,455
WITH REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION?
THE CAPITOL POLICE.
BECAUSE YESTERDAY, AN ESTIMATED

189
00:05:56,457 --> 00:06:00,292
THE CAPITOL POLICE.
BECAUSE YESTERDAY, AN ESTIMATED
50 MEMBERS OF THE UNITED STATES

190
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:02,060
BECAUSE YESTERDAY, AN ESTIMATED
50 MEMBERS OF THE UNITED STATES
CAPITOL POLICE SENT A LETTER

191
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:02,661
50 MEMBERS OF THE UNITED STATES
CAPITOL POLICE SENT A LETTER
THAT READ IN PART, "THE BRAVE

192
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,262
CAPITOL POLICE SENT A LETTER
THAT READ IN PART, "THE BRAVE
MEN AND WOMEN OF THE U.S.C.P.

193
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,831
THAT READ IN PART, "THE BRAVE
MEN AND WOMEN OF THE U.S.C.P.
WERE SUBJECTED TO HOURS AND

194
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:06,865
MEN AND WOMEN OF THE U.S.C.P.
WERE SUBJECTED TO HOURS AND
HOURS OF PHYSICAL TRAUMA WHICH

195
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,300
WERE SUBJECTED TO HOURS AND
HOURS OF PHYSICAL TRAUMA WHICH
HAS LED TO MONTHS OF MENTAL

196
00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:11,036
HOURS OF PHYSICAL TRAUMA WHICH
HAS LED TO MONTHS OF MENTAL
ANGUISH.

197
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,337
HAS LED TO MONTHS OF MENTAL
ANGUISH.
IT IS UNCONSCIONABLE TO EVEN

198
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,139
ANGUISH.
IT IS UNCONSCIONABLE TO EVEN
THINK ANYONE COULD SUGGEST WE

199
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:14,706
IT IS UNCONSCIONABLE TO EVEN
THINK ANYONE COULD SUGGEST WE
NEED TO MOVE FORWARD AND GET

200
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,308
THINK ANYONE COULD SUGGEST WE
NEED TO MOVE FORWARD AND GET
OVER IT.

201
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,877
NEED TO MOVE FORWARD AND GET
OVER IT.
AS U.S. CAPITOL POLICE OFFICERS,

202
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,278
OVER IT.
AS U.S. CAPITOL POLICE OFFICERS,
WE ARE EXPECTED TO DO OUR JOBS

203
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,813
AS U.S. CAPITOL POLICE OFFICERS,
WE ARE EXPECTED TO DO OUR JOBS
WITH HONOR AND INTEGRITY.

204
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,648
WE ARE EXPECTED TO DO OUR JOBS
WITH HONOR AND INTEGRITY.
IT'S UNFORTUNATE THAT OUR

205
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:24,282
WITH HONOR AND INTEGRITY.
IT'S UNFORTUNATE THAT OUR
'BOSSES'-- CONGRESS-- ARE NOT

206
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,318
IT'S UNFORTUNATE THAT OUR
'BOSSES'-- CONGRESS-- ARE NOT
HELD TO THE SAME STANDARD."

207
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,853
'BOSSES'-- CONGRESS-- ARE NOT
HELD TO THE SAME STANDARD."
STRONG WORDS.

208
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:28,487
HELD TO THE SAME STANDARD."
STRONG WORDS.
THIS MUST BE PARTICULARLY TOUGH

209
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,354
STRONG WORDS.
THIS MUST BE PARTICULARLY TOUGH
FOR REPUBLICANS TO HEAR.

210
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,756
THIS MUST BE PARTICULARLY TOUGH
FOR REPUBLICANS TO HEAR.
THEY'RE NOT USED TO BEING

211
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,556
FOR REPUBLICANS TO HEAR.
THEY'RE NOT USED TO BEING
STOPPED AND QUESTIONED BY THE

212
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,290
THEY'RE NOT USED TO BEING
STOPPED AND QUESTIONED BY THE
POLICE.

213
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:34,860
STOPPED AND QUESTIONED BY THE
POLICE.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

214
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:35,894
POLICE.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
IT REALLY MAKES YOU WONDER, JUST

215
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:36,428
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
IT REALLY MAKES YOU WONDER, JUST
WHO WERE THESE REPUBLICANS

216
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,330
IT REALLY MAKES YOU WONDER, JUST
WHO WERE THESE REPUBLICANS
TALKING ABOUT WHEN THEY SAID

217
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:40,298
WHO WERE THESE REPUBLICANS
TALKING ABOUT WHEN THEY SAID
"BACK THE BLUE?"

218
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,867
TALKING ABOUT WHEN THEY SAID
"BACK THE BLUE?"
THE GUYS FROM "AVATAR?"

219
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,102
"BACK THE BLUE?"
THE GUYS FROM "AVATAR?"
COOKIE MONSTER?

220
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:44,603
THE GUYS FROM "AVATAR?"
COOKIE MONSTER?
MITCH McCONNELL'S HANDS?

221
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,405
COOKIE MONSTER?
MITCH McCONNELL'S HANDS?
WHILE THIS LETTER WAS WRITTEN BY

222
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,773
MITCH McCONNELL'S HANDS?
WHILE THIS LETTER WAS WRITTEN BY
AND COMES FROM CAPITOL POLICE

223
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:48,373
WHILE THIS LETTER WAS WRITTEN BY
AND COMES FROM CAPITOL POLICE
OFFICERS, IT'S NOT AN OFFICIAL

224
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,342
AND COMES FROM CAPITOL POLICE
OFFICERS, IT'S NOT AN OFFICIAL
STATEMENT BY THE CAPITOL POLICE.

225
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:55,480
OFFICERS, IT'S NOT AN OFFICIAL
STATEMENT BY THE CAPITOL POLICE.
THE U.S.C.P. CLARIFIED THAT IT

226
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,681
STATEMENT BY THE CAPITOL POLICE.
THE U.S.C.P. CLARIFIED THAT IT
"DOES NOT TAKE POSITIONS ON

227
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,116
THE U.S.C.P. CLARIFIED THAT IT
"DOES NOT TAKE POSITIONS ON
LEGISLATION."

228
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,217
"DOES NOT TAKE POSITIONS ON
LEGISLATION."
FINE.

229
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,318
LEGISLATION."
FINE.
TECHNICALLY, IT'S NOT THE

230
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,520
FINE.
TECHNICALLY, IT'S NOT THE
POLICE-- IN THE SAME WAY STING

231
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,320
TECHNICALLY, IT'S NOT THE
POLICE-- IN THE SAME WAY STING
ISN'T TECHNICALLY THE POLICE.

232
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,322
POLICE-- IN THE SAME WAY STING
ISN'T TECHNICALLY THE POLICE.
BUT, COME ON.

233
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:07,192
ISN'T TECHNICALLY THE POLICE.
BUT, COME ON.
THAT LETTER IS "ROXANNE."

234
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,293
BUT, COME ON.
THAT LETTER IS "ROXANNE."
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

235
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:11,530
THAT LETTER IS "ROXANNE."
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
EVIDENTLY, UNLIKE THE G.O.P.,

236
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,297
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
EVIDENTLY, UNLIKE THE G.O.P.,
THE CAPITOL POLICE HAVE NOT

237
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,299
EVIDENTLY, UNLIKE THE G.O.P.,
THE CAPITOL POLICE HAVE NOT
FORGOTTEN JUST HOW VIOLENT THE

238
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,367
THE CAPITOL POLICE HAVE NOT
FORGOTTEN JUST HOW VIOLENT THE
JANUARY 6 RIOTERS WERE.

239
00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:16,268
FORGOTTEN JUST HOW VIOLENT THE
JANUARY 6 RIOTERS WERE.
NEITHER HAS THE F.B.I., BECAUSE

240
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:22,841
JANUARY 6 RIOTERS WERE.
NEITHER HAS THE F.B.I., BECAUSE
YESTERDAY, THE BUREAU CAUGHT SIX

241
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:23,575
NEITHER HAS THE F.B.I., BECAUSE
YESTERDAY, THE BUREAU CAUGHT SIX
MORE SUSPECTS, AND I'LL CATCH

242
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:24,075
YESTERDAY, THE BUREAU CAUGHT SIX
MORE SUSPECTS, AND I'LL CATCH
YOU UP ON THE LATEST IN

243
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:24,709
MORE SUSPECTS, AND I'LL CATCH
YOU UP ON THE LATEST IN
TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP

244
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:25,310
YOU UP ON THE LATEST IN
TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP
ROUNDUP."

245
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,378
TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP
ROUNDUP."
(<i> JAUNTY COUNTRY MUSIC</i> )

246
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,246
ROUNDUP."
(<i> JAUNTY COUNTRY MUSIC</i> )
>> BUTTER GET A GOOD LAWYER!

247
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:31,116
(<i> JAUNTY COUNTRY MUSIC</i> )
>> BUTTER GET A GOOD LAWYER!
>> Stephen: THE NEWEST STEER TO

248
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,284
>> BUTTER GET A GOOD LAWYER!
>> Stephen: THE NEWEST STEER TO
GET ROPED IS 37-YEAR-OLD DANIEL

249
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,853
>> Stephen: THE NEWEST STEER TO
GET ROPED IS 37-YEAR-OLD DANIEL
WARMUS, SEEN HERE PROVING THAT

250
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,254
GET ROPED IS 37-YEAR-OLD DANIEL
WARMUS, SEEN HERE PROVING THAT
CATS HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS.

251
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,323
WARMUS, SEEN HERE PROVING THAT
CATS HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

252
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:39,624
CATS HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
WARMUS WAS ARRESTED AFTER SOME

253
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,292
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
WARMUS WAS ARRESTED AFTER SOME
KEEN DETECTIVE WORK.

254
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,460
WARMUS WAS ARRESTED AFTER SOME
KEEN DETECTIVE WORK.
"HE WAS OVERHEARD BRAGGING ABOUT

255
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,094
KEEN DETECTIVE WORK.
"HE WAS OVERHEARD BRAGGING ABOUT
ATTENDING THE JANUARY 6 RAMPAGE

256
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,296
"HE WAS OVERHEARD BRAGGING ABOUT
ATTENDING THE JANUARY 6 RAMPAGE
WHILE HAVING HIS TEETH CLEANED

257
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,031
ATTENDING THE JANUARY 6 RAMPAGE
WHILE HAVING HIS TEETH CLEANED
AT THE DENTIST."

258
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,999
WHILE HAVING HIS TEETH CLEANED
AT THE DENTIST."
DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN THE

259
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:48,567
AT THE DENTIST."
DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN THE
DENTIST ASKS IF YOU TRIED TO

260
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,368
DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN THE
DENTIST ASKS IF YOU TRIED TO
DESTROY DEMOCRACY WHILE THEY'RE

261
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,003
DENTIST ASKS IF YOU TRIED TO
DESTROY DEMOCRACY WHILE THEY'RE
SCRAPING OFF THE TARTAR?

262
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:52,637
DESTROY DEMOCRACY WHILE THEY'RE
SCRAPING OFF THE TARTAR?
(<i> ACT OUT, LIKE MOUTH FULL OF</i>

263
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:53,872
SCRAPING OFF THE TARTAR?
(<i> ACT OUT, LIKE MOUTH FULL OF</i>
DENTAL GEAR<i> )</i>

264
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,141
(<i> ACT OUT, LIKE MOUTH FULL OF</i>
DENTAL GEAR<i> )</i>
"I SHTORNED DE CATITOL ASH PART

265
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:56,541
DENTAL GEAR<i> )</i>
"I SHTORNED DE CATITOL ASH PART
OF A FACIST COUP."

266
00:07:56,543 --> 00:08:00,278
"I SHTORNED DE CATITOL ASH PART
OF A FACIST COUP."
(<i> SLURPING SUCTION</i> )

267
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,347
OF A FACIST COUP."
(<i> SLURPING SUCTION</i> )
DURING--

268
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,282
(<i> SLURPING SUCTION</i> )
DURING--
>> EWW.

269
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:07,752
DURING--
>> EWW.
>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO SHAKE

270
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:08,386
>> EWW.
>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO SHAKE
YOUR HAND WITH THIS A LITTLE BIT

271
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:12,290
>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO SHAKE
YOUR HAND WITH THIS A LITTLE BIT
LATER.

272
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,392
YOUR HAND WITH THIS A LITTLE BIT
LATER.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

273
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,294
LATER.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
DURING THE CLEANING--

274
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,796
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
DURING THE CLEANING--
I'M GOING TO SHAKE YOUR HAND

275
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,265
DURING THE CLEANING--
I'M GOING TO SHAKE YOUR HAND
WITH THIS A LITTLE BIT LATER.

276
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:23,835
I'M GOING TO SHAKE YOUR HAND
WITH THIS A LITTLE BIT LATER.
DURING THE CLEANING, WARMUS

277
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:24,402
WITH THIS A LITTLE BIT LATER.
DURING THE CLEANING, WARMUS
"TALKED OF SMOKING MARIJUANA

278
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,036
DURING THE CLEANING, WARMUS
"TALKED OF SMOKING MARIJUANA
INSIDE THE CAPITOL AND REFUSING

279
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:25,637
"TALKED OF SMOKING MARIJUANA
INSIDE THE CAPITOL AND REFUSING
A POLICE OFFICER'S ORDERS TO

280
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:26,204
INSIDE THE CAPITOL AND REFUSING
A POLICE OFFICER'S ORDERS TO
LEAVE THE BUILDING, AND EVEN

281
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:26,771
A POLICE OFFICER'S ORDERS TO
LEAVE THE BUILDING, AND EVEN
PROUDLY PLAYED A VIDEO FROM

282
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:27,072
LEAVE THE BUILDING, AND EVEN
PROUDLY PLAYED A VIDEO FROM
JANUARY 6."

283
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:27,706
PROUDLY PLAYED A VIDEO FROM
JANUARY 6."
THAT'S A MAN WHO REALLY DOESN'T

284
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,306
JANUARY 6."
THAT'S A MAN WHO REALLY DOESN'T
WANT TO OWN UP TO HIS OWN POOR

285
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:28,673
THAT'S A MAN WHO REALLY DOESN'T
WANT TO OWN UP TO HIS OWN POOR
DENTAL HYGIENE.

286
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:28,974
WANT TO OWN UP TO HIS OWN POOR
DENTAL HYGIENE.
"DO I FLOSS?

287
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:29,574
DENTAL HYGIENE.
"DO I FLOSS?
OBVIOUSLY, I-- HEY, LOOK AT ME

288
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:32,277
"DO I FLOSS?
OBVIOUSLY, I-- HEY, LOOK AT ME
COMMITTING CRIMES!"

289
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:33,979
OBVIOUSLY, I-- HEY, LOOK AT ME
COMMITTING CRIMES!"
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

290
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,447
COMMITTING CRIMES!"
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
NOW, TURNING TO "SOME GOOD

291
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:36,281
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
NOW, TURNING TO "SOME GOOD
NEWS"--

292
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,383
NOW, TURNING TO "SOME GOOD
NEWS"--
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )

293
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,285
NEWS"--
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

294
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,121
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
IT'S ALL ABOUT TARGETED

295
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,256
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
IT'S ALL ABOUT TARGETED
MARKETING-- WITH VACCINATIONS

296
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:44,789
IT'S ALL ABOUT TARGETED
MARKETING-- WITH VACCINATIONS
INCREASING AND THE COUNTRY

297
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,758
MARKETING-- WITH VACCINATIONS
INCREASING AND THE COUNTRY
OPENING UP, RESTAURANT TRAFFIC

298
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,159
INCREASING AND THE COUNTRY
OPENING UP, RESTAURANT TRAFFIC
IS ROCKETING BACK.

299
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,494
OPENING UP, RESTAURANT TRAFFIC
IS ROCKETING BACK.
ABOUT DAMN TIME!

300
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:50,395
IS ROCKETING BACK.
ABOUT DAMN TIME!
AS SOMEONE WHO SPENT FIVE YEARS

301
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,463
ABOUT DAMN TIME!
AS SOMEONE WHO SPENT FIVE YEARS
BEHIND THE APRON WITH THE LITTLE

302
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,264
AS SOMEONE WHO SPENT FIVE YEARS
BEHIND THE APRON WITH THE LITTLE
THING THAT TAKES THE CRUMBS OFF

303
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:53,632
BEHIND THE APRON WITH THE LITTLE
THING THAT TAKES THE CRUMBS OFF
YOUR TABLE, I STAND WITH MY

304
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:54,833
THING THAT TAKES THE CRUMBS OFF
YOUR TABLE, I STAND WITH MY
BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN THE FOOD

305
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,234
YOUR TABLE, I STAND WITH MY
BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN THE FOOD
SERVICE INDUSTRY.

306
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:56,835
BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN THE FOOD
SERVICE INDUSTRY.
AND LET ME JUST SAY: I WANT TO

307
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:59,504
SERVICE INDUSTRY.
AND LET ME JUST SAY: I WANT TO
SEE A ONE-MINUTE APPROACH ON NEW

308
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:00,305
AND LET ME JUST SAY: I WANT TO
SEE A ONE-MINUTE APPROACH ON NEW
TABLES.

309
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,206
SEE A ONE-MINUTE APPROACH ON NEW
TABLES.
JUST PUT A COCKTAIL NAPKIN DOWN

310
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,440
TABLES.
JUST PUT A COCKTAIL NAPKIN DOWN
SO THEY KNOW YOU'RE NOT IGNORING

311
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,542
JUST PUT A COCKTAIL NAPKIN DOWN
SO THEY KNOW YOU'RE NOT IGNORING
THEM, OKAY?

312
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,276
SO THEY KNOW YOU'RE NOT IGNORING
THEM, OKAY?
LET'S MOVE THAT CAJUN SHRIMP

313
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:05,377
THEM, OKAY?
LET'S MOVE THAT CAJUN SHRIMP
BOURSIN FETTUCCINI.

314
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,878
LET'S MOVE THAT CAJUN SHRIMP
BOURSIN FETTUCCINI.
THAT SHRIMP'S NOT GETTING ANY

315
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,779
BOURSIN FETTUCCINI.
THAT SHRIMP'S NOT GETTING ANY
FRESHER.

316
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:08,380
THAT SHRIMP'S NOT GETTING ANY
FRESHER.
AND CORPORATE WANTS US TO PUSH

317
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,782
FRESHER.
AND CORPORATE WANTS US TO PUSH
THAT CHEDDAR BEER APPETIZER AND

318
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,183
AND CORPORATE WANTS US TO PUSH
THAT CHEDDAR BEER APPETIZER AND
THE ARTICHOKE DIP, OKAY?

319
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:12,784
THAT CHEDDAR BEER APPETIZER AND
THE ARTICHOKE DIP, OKAY?
DON'T SCOOP ICE WITH THE ROCKS

320
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,386
THE ARTICHOKE DIP, OKAY?
DON'T SCOOP ICE WITH THE ROCKS
GLASS-- IF IT BREAKS, YOU'VE GOT

321
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,520
DON'T SCOOP ICE WITH THE ROCKS
GLASS-- IF IT BREAKS, YOU'VE GOT
TO DUMP THE ENTIRE BIN!

322
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,254
GLASS-- IF IT BREAKS, YOU'VE GOT
TO DUMP THE ENTIRE BIN!
YOU GOT TIME TO LEAN, YOU GOT

323
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,658
TO DUMP THE ENTIRE BIN!
YOU GOT TIME TO LEAN, YOU GOT
TIME TO CLEAN!

324
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,292
YOU GOT TIME TO LEAN, YOU GOT
TIME TO CLEAN!
SORRY, I'M JUST HAVING

325
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:22,494
TIME TO CLEAN!
SORRY, I'M JUST HAVING
FLASHBACKS.

326
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:23,762
SORRY, I'M JUST HAVING
FLASHBACKS.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

327
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,329
FLASHBACKS.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
THE RESURGENCE HAS PROMPTED

328
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,398
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
THE RESURGENCE HAS PROMPTED
EXPERTS TO DRAW PARALLELS

329
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,300
THE RESURGENCE HAS PROMPTED
EXPERTS TO DRAW PARALLELS
BETWEEN NOW AND THE ROARING '20s

330
00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:29,868
EXPERTS TO DRAW PARALLELS
BETWEEN NOW AND THE ROARING '20s
WHICH FOLLOWED THE 1918

331
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,269
BETWEEN NOW AND THE ROARING '20s
WHICH FOLLOWED THE 1918
INFLUENZA PANDEMIC.

332
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,304
WHICH FOLLOWED THE 1918
INFLUENZA PANDEMIC.
OF COURSE, THESE '20s AREN'T

333
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:33,872
INFLUENZA PANDEMIC.
OF COURSE, THESE '20s AREN'T
GOING TO BE QUITE AS GLAMOROUS

334
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,407
OF COURSE, THESE '20s AREN'T
GOING TO BE QUITE AS GLAMOROUS
AS THE ORIGINAL.

335
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:36,308
GOING TO BE QUITE AS GLAMOROUS
AS THE ORIGINAL.
JAY GATSBY'S GOING TO GO FROM

336
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,410
AS THE ORIGINAL.
JAY GATSBY'S GOING TO GO FROM
TUXEDOS AND MARTINIS TO

337
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,778
JAY GATSBY'S GOING TO GO FROM
TUXEDOS AND MARTINIS TO
SWEATPANTS AND WHITE CLAW.

338
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:40,278
TUXEDOS AND MARTINIS TO
SWEATPANTS AND WHITE CLAW.
PART OF THE GOOD NEWS IS

339
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,214
SWEATPANTS AND WHITE CLAW.
PART OF THE GOOD NEWS IS
THAT RESTAURANTS ARE MAKING

340
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,249
PART OF THE GOOD NEWS IS
THAT RESTAURANTS ARE MAKING
MORE MONEY NOW THAN THEY DID

341
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,051
THAT RESTAURANTS ARE MAKING
MORE MONEY NOW THAN THEY DID
PRE-PANDEMIC BECAUSE OF PEOPLE

342
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,619
MORE MONEY NOW THAN THEY DID
PRE-PANDEMIC BECAUSE OF PEOPLE
NOT WANTING TO LINGER.

343
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,286
PRE-PANDEMIC BECAUSE OF PEOPLE
NOT WANTING TO LINGER.
AND THE QUICKER THE TABLES TURN

344
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,388
NOT WANTING TO LINGER.
AND THE QUICKER THE TABLES TURN
OVER, THE MORE PEOPLE CAN BE

345
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,123
AND THE QUICKER THE TABLES TURN
OVER, THE MORE PEOPLE CAN BE
ACCOMMODATED EACH DAY.

346
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:52,691
OVER, THE MORE PEOPLE CAN BE
ACCOMMODATED EACH DAY.
AND AGAIN, AS FORMER WAITER

347
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,993
ACCOMMODATED EACH DAY.
AND AGAIN, AS FORMER WAITER
MYSELF, I CAN SAY, THAT IS GREAT

348
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,261
AND AGAIN, AS FORMER WAITER
MYSELF, I CAN SAY, THAT IS GREAT
NEWS FOR THE LUNCH SHIFT.

349
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,462
MYSELF, I CAN SAY, THAT IS GREAT
NEWS FOR THE LUNCH SHIFT.
THEY NO LONGER HAVE TO BRING THE

350
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,797
NEWS FOR THE LUNCH SHIFT.
THEY NO LONGER HAVE TO BRING THE
CHECK AND SAY, "I'M JUST GOING

351
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,065
THEY NO LONGER HAVE TO BRING THE
CHECK AND SAY, "I'M JUST GOING
TO LAY THIS DOWN HERE.

352
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:00,599
CHECK AND SAY, "I'M JUST GOING
TO LAY THIS DOWN HERE.
TAKE YOUR TIME, BUT WE ARE

353
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,835
TO LAY THIS DOWN HERE.
TAKE YOUR TIME, BUT WE ARE
SWITCHING SHIFTS, SO CONNOR IS

354
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:04,469
TAKE YOUR TIME, BUT WE ARE
SWITCHING SHIFTS, SO CONNOR IS
GOING TO BE TAKING CARE OF YOU,

355
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,304
SWITCHING SHIFTS, SO CONNOR IS
GOING TO BE TAKING CARE OF YOU,
AND IF YOU DON'T PAY NOW, I

356
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,472
GOING TO BE TAKING CARE OF YOU,
AND IF YOU DON'T PAY NOW, I
DON'T GET THE TIP, AND CONNOR

357
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:08,306
AND IF YOU DON'T PAY NOW, I
DON'T GET THE TIP, AND CONNOR
DIDN'T REALLY DO ANY WORK FOR

358
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,874
DON'T GET THE TIP, AND CONNOR
DIDN'T REALLY DO ANY WORK FOR
YOU, DID HE?

359
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,009
DIDN'T REALLY DO ANY WORK FOR
YOU, DID HE?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

360
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,077
YOU, DID HE?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
I MEAN, I LISTED EVERY SALAD

361
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:12,677
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
I MEAN, I LISTED EVERY SALAD
DRESSING AND EVERY DRAFT BEER

362
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,379
I MEAN, I LISTED EVERY SALAD
DRESSING AND EVERY DRAFT BEER
TWICE, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE ALL

363
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,480
DRESSING AND EVERY DRAFT BEER
TWICE, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE ALL
WRITTEN DOWN IN THE MENU.

364
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:16,247
TWICE, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE ALL
WRITTEN DOWN IN THE MENU.
ANYWAY, I'M GOING TO GO OVER TO

365
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,649
WRITTEN DOWN IN THE MENU.
ANYWAY, I'M GOING TO GO OVER TO
THE PREP STATION AND ROLL

366
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:18,717
ANYWAY, I'M GOING TO GO OVER TO
THE PREP STATION AND ROLL
SILVERWARE AND EAT FREE ROLLS

367
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,218
THE PREP STATION AND ROLL
SILVERWARE AND EAT FREE ROLLS
UNTIL MY SOUL FALLS OUT OF MY

368
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:20,418
SILVERWARE AND EAT FREE ROLLS
UNTIL MY SOUL FALLS OUT OF MY
ASS."

369
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,921
UNTIL MY SOUL FALLS OUT OF MY
ASS."
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

370
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,255
ASS."
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
FIVE YEARS, FIVE.

371
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,590
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
FIVE YEARS, FIVE.
DID YOU WAIT TABLES?

372
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,391
FIVE YEARS, FIVE.
DID YOU WAIT TABLES?
>> ABSOLUTELY.

373
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,259
DID YOU WAIT TABLES?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: YOU DID.

374
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,930
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: YOU DID.
EVEN AFTER THE PILOT OF "THE

375
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:32,564
>> Stephen: YOU DID.
EVEN AFTER THE PILOT OF "THE
OFFICE," I WENT BACK AND WAITED

376
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:32,797
EVEN AFTER THE PILOT OF "THE
OFFICE," I WENT BACK AND WAITED
TABLES.

377
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,532
OFFICE," I WENT BACK AND WAITED
TABLES.
>> Stephen: YOU DID?

378
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,267
TABLES.
>> Stephen: YOU DID?
>> WOW.

379
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,403
>> Stephen: YOU DID?
>> WOW.
>> THAT'S HOW LITTLE CONFIDENCE.

380
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,305
>> WOW.
>> THAT'S HOW LITTLE CONFIDENCE.
>> I WAS GOING TO SAY, DIDN'T

381
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,907
>> THAT'S HOW LITTLE CONFIDENCE.
>> I WAS GOING TO SAY, DIDN'T
FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.

382
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,309
>> I WAS GOING TO SAY, DIDN'T
FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: WHAT KIND OF PLACE?

383
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:48,279
FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: WHAT KIND OF PLACE?
>> AT THE TIME, I WAS AT THE

384
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,681
>> Stephen: WHAT KIND OF PLACE?
>> AT THE TIME, I WAS AT THE
ODEON DOWNTOWN.

385
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,348
>> AT THE TIME, I WAS AT THE
ODEON DOWNTOWN.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT?

386
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:50,749
ODEON DOWNTOWN.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT?
>> OH, I USED TO--

387
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:54,285
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT?
>> OH, I USED TO--
>> IT'S A HISTORIC RESTAURANT IN

388
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,187
>> OH, I USED TO--
>> IT'S A HISTORIC RESTAURANT IN
NEW YORK.

389
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:56,721
>> IT'S A HISTORIC RESTAURANT IN
NEW YORK.
>> THE ODEON IN NEW YORK?

390
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:57,288
NEW YORK.
>> THE ODEON IN NEW YORK?
>> THANK YOU.

391
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:57,856
>> THE ODEON IN NEW YORK?
>> THANK YOU.
>> I WENT THERE A LOT IN THE

392
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:58,223
>> THANK YOU.
>> I WENT THERE A LOT IN THE
'80s.

393
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,357
>> I WENT THERE A LOT IN THE
'80s.
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY.

394
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,291
'80s.
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW.

395
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,426
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M A MAN OF THE PEOPLE.

396
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:01,960
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M A MAN OF THE PEOPLE.
>> REALLY?

397
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:02,594
I'M A MAN OF THE PEOPLE.
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: I DON'T REALLY KNOW

398
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:03,762
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: I DON'T REALLY KNOW
YOUR FANCY--

399
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:04,295
>> Stephen: I DON'T REALLY KNOW
YOUR FANCY--
>> IT'S NOT FANCY.

400
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:04,729
YOUR FANCY--
>> IT'S NOT FANCY.
>> NO.

401
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:05,630
>> IT'S NOT FANCY.
>> NO.
>> IT'S NICE, HISTORIC.

402
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,832
>> NO.
>> IT'S NICE, HISTORIC.
THIS IS CULTURE OVER HERE.

403
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:08,433
>> IT'S NICE, HISTORIC.
THIS IS CULTURE OVER HERE.
WE'LL JUST TALK ABOUT CULTURE.

404
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,668
THIS IS CULTURE OVER HERE.
WE'LL JUST TALK ABOUT CULTURE.
>> YEAH, WE'RE ALL INTO NEW YORK

405
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:10,735
WE'LL JUST TALK ABOUT CULTURE.
>> YEAH, WE'RE ALL INTO NEW YORK
CITY.

406
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:11,503
>> YEAH, WE'RE ALL INTO NEW YORK
CITY.
>> Stephen: WE'LL EDIT THAT OUT.

407
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:11,903
CITY.
>> Stephen: WE'LL EDIT THAT OUT.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

408
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:12,504
>> Stephen: WE'LL EDIT THAT OUT.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
BUT THERE IS SOME BAD NEWS FOR

409
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,138
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
BUT THERE IS SOME BAD NEWS FOR
BARS, BECAUSE ACCORDING TO A NEW

410
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:13,738
BUT THERE IS SOME BAD NEWS FOR
BARS, BECAUSE ACCORDING TO A NEW
STUDY, DRINKING ANY AMOUNT OF

411
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:14,305
BARS, BECAUSE ACCORDING TO A NEW
STUDY, DRINKING ANY AMOUNT OF
ALCOHOL CAUSES DAMAGE TO THE

412
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:14,506
STUDY, DRINKING ANY AMOUNT OF
ALCOHOL CAUSES DAMAGE TO THE
BRAIN.

413
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:15,907
ALCOHOL CAUSES DAMAGE TO THE
BRAIN.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT!

414
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:16,508
BRAIN.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT!
GOD, I WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY

415
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:17,108
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT!
GOD, I WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY
TO ERASE THAT INFORMATION FROM

416
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:20,278
GOD, I WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY
TO ERASE THAT INFORMATION FROM
MY MIND.

417
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:20,745
TO ERASE THAT INFORMATION FROM
MY MIND.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

418
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:21,279
MY MIND.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?

419
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:21,846
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?
OH, RIGHT, ALCOHOL!

420
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:22,847
WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?
OH, RIGHT, ALCOHOL!
THE STUDY ALSO FOUND NO EVIDENCE

421
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:23,815
OH, RIGHT, ALCOHOL!
THE STUDY ALSO FOUND NO EVIDENCE
THAT THE TYPE OF DRINK YOU

422
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:24,416
THE STUDY ALSO FOUND NO EVIDENCE
THAT THE TYPE OF DRINK YOU
CHOOSE-- SUCH AS WINE, LIQUOR,

423
00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:25,050
THAT THE TYPE OF DRINK YOU
CHOOSE-- SUCH AS WINE, LIQUOR,
OR BEER-- AFFECTS THE HARM DONE

424
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:25,383
CHOOSE-- SUCH AS WINE, LIQUOR,
OR BEER-- AFFECTS THE HARM DONE
TO THE BRAIN.

425
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,351
OR BEER-- AFFECTS THE HARM DONE
TO THE BRAIN.
SO, IT LOGICALLY FOLLOWS,

426
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,118
TO THE BRAIN.
SO, IT LOGICALLY FOLLOWS,
THERE'S NO EXTRA HARM IN POURING

427
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:27,919
SO, IT LOGICALLY FOLLOWS,
THERE'S NO EXTRA HARM IN POURING
A SHOT OF WHISKEY INTO A GLASS

428
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:28,486
THERE'S NO EXTRA HARM IN POURING
A SHOT OF WHISKEY INTO A GLASS
OF WINE, AND THEN DUMPING IT

429
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,890
A SHOT OF WHISKEY INTO A GLASS
OF WINE, AND THEN DUMPING IT
INTO A PITCHER OF BEER.

430
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:32,457
OF WINE, AND THEN DUMPING IT
INTO A PITCHER OF BEER.
IT'S CALLED AN ALCO-DUCKEN.

431
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,959
INTO A PITCHER OF BEER.
IT'S CALLED AN ALCO-DUCKEN.
SO, ALCOHOL IS BAD FOR MY BRAIN.

432
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:35,827
IT'S CALLED AN ALCO-DUCKEN.
SO, ALCOHOL IS BAD FOR MY BRAIN.
THE PROBLEM IS, MY BRAIN'S THE

433
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:36,394
SO, ALCOHOL IS BAD FOR MY BRAIN.
THE PROBLEM IS, MY BRAIN'S THE
ONE THAT KEEPS ASKING ME FOR

434
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,263
THE PROBLEM IS, MY BRAIN'S THE
ONE THAT KEEPS ASKING ME FOR
MORE ALCOHOL.

435
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:38,863
ONE THAT KEEPS ASKING ME FOR
MORE ALCOHOL.
WHO AM I TO TELL MY BRAIN WHAT

436
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,298
MORE ALCOHOL.
WHO AM I TO TELL MY BRAIN WHAT
TO DO?

437
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,434
WHO AM I TO TELL MY BRAIN WHAT
TO DO?
IT'S PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF MAKING

438
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:43,635
TO DO?
IT'S PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF MAKING
ITS OWN DECISIONS.

439
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:44,269
IT'S PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF MAKING
ITS OWN DECISIONS.
OR IT WAS, UNTIL I STARTED

440
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,104
ITS OWN DECISIONS.
OR IT WAS, UNTIL I STARTED
DRINKING.

441
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,939
OR IT WAS, UNTIL I STARTED
DRINKING.
SO, SCIENCE, CAN WE PLEASE HOLD

442
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:48,506
DRINKING.
SO, SCIENCE, CAN WE PLEASE HOLD
OFF ON THE ALCOHOL STUDIES?

443
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,442
SO, SCIENCE, CAN WE PLEASE HOLD
OFF ON THE ALCOHOL STUDIES?
THEY BUM ME OUT, AND THEN I

444
00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:52,277
OFF ON THE ALCOHOL STUDIES?
THEY BUM ME OUT, AND THEN I
TREAT MY FEELINGS WITH ALCOHOL

445
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,279
THEY BUM ME OUT, AND THEN I
TREAT MY FEELINGS WITH ALCOHOL
AND THEN I EAT A GIANT PIZZA,

446
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:54,846
TREAT MY FEELINGS WITH ALCOHOL
AND THEN I EAT A GIANT PIZZA,
AND THEN I HAVE A WONDERFUL

447
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,214
AND THEN I EAT A GIANT PIZZA,
AND THEN I HAVE A WONDERFUL
EVENING.

448
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:56,815
AND THEN I HAVE A WONDERFUL
EVENING.
I'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

449
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:59,851
EVENING.
I'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

450
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:00,418
I'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS JOHN KRASINSKI.

451
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,853
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS JOHN KRASINSKI.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,

452
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:02,420
MY GUEST IS JOHN KRASINSKI.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
"MEANWHILE!"

453
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,556
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
"MEANWHILE!"
JOIN US, WON'T YOU?

454
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:11,296
♪ ♪ ♪

455
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:30,215
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

456
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:30,815
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR FRIEND

457
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:31,182
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR FRIEND
MR. JON BATISTE.

458
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:36,588
LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR FRIEND
MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON.

459
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,589
MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON.
♪ ♪ ♪

460
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:37,956
HELLO, JON.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Jon: HELLO.

461
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:38,490
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Jon: HELLO.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?

462
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:39,157
>> Jon: HELLO.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> Stephen: SO MUCH IS

463
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:39,958
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> Stephen: SO MUCH IS
HAPPENING.

464
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:40,625
>> Stephen: SO MUCH IS
HAPPENING.
YOU KNOW I HAVE A GUEST TONIGHT.

465
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:44,596
HAPPENING.
YOU KNOW I HAVE A GUEST TONIGHT.
>> Jon: YES, I SAW THAT,

466
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,898
YOU KNOW I HAVE A GUEST TONIGHT.
>> Jon: YES, I SAW THAT,
ACTUALLY TWO GUESTS.

467
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:47,499
>> Jon: YES, I SAW THAT,
ACTUALLY TWO GUESTS.
>> Stephen: YES, WELL, EVIE IS

468
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:49,100
ACTUALLY TWO GUESTS.
>> Stephen: YES, WELL, EVIE IS
ACTUALLY CREW AT THIS POINT,

469
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:49,501
>> Stephen: YES, WELL, EVIE IS
ACTUALLY CREW AT THIS POINT,
SHE'S NOT A GUEST.

470
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:50,068
ACTUALLY CREW AT THIS POINT,
SHE'S NOT A GUEST.
BUT JOHN KRASINSKI IS RIGHT

471
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:50,769
SHE'S NOT A GUEST.
BUT JOHN KRASINSKI IS RIGHT
THERE.

472
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,604
BUT JOHN KRASINSKI IS RIGHT
THERE.
THERE HE IS.

473
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:56,608
THERE.
THERE HE IS.
DID YOU EVER WAIT TABLES, JON?

474
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,743
THERE HE IS.
DID YOU EVER WAIT TABLES, JON?
>> Jon: I WORKED AT THE

475
00:12:58,745 --> 00:12:59,410
DID YOU EVER WAIT TABLES, JON?
>> Jon: I WORKED AT THE
SUPERDOME IN NEW ORLEANS DURING

476
00:12:59,412 --> 00:12:59,811
>> Jon: I WORKED AT THE
SUPERDOME IN NEW ORLEANS DURING
THE SAINTS GAMES.

477
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:00,478
SUPERDOME IN NEW ORLEANS DURING
THE SAINTS GAMES.
>> Stephen: THAT IS FINE DINING.

478
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:00,845
THE SAINTS GAMES.
>> Stephen: THAT IS FINE DINING.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

479
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,347
>> Stephen: THAT IS FINE DINING.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Jon: LOOK, LET ME TELL YOU

480
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,615
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Jon: LOOK, LET ME TELL YOU
THAT THE SUPERDOME HOT DOGS AND

481
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:04,616
>> Jon: LOOK, LET ME TELL YOU
THAT THE SUPERDOME HOT DOGS AND
THE CHEESE DIP.

482
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:05,617
THAT THE SUPERDOME HOT DOGS AND
THE CHEESE DIP.
>> Stephen: OH!

483
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:06,551
THE CHEESE DIP.
>> Stephen: OH!
>> Jon: I HAVE BURNED MYSELF ON

484
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,586
>> Stephen: OH!
>> Jon: I HAVE BURNED MYSELF ON
A HOT DOG AND CHEESE DIP IN MY

485
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,722
>> Jon: I HAVE BURNED MYSELF ON
A HOT DOG AND CHEESE DIP IN MY
DAY.

486
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:11,456
A HOT DOG AND CHEESE DIP IN MY
DAY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

487
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,090
DAY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
I WAS NOT GOOD AT PUTTING THE

488
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:12,490
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
I WAS NOT GOOD AT PUTTING THE
HOT DOGS TOGETHER.

489
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,091
I WAS NOT GOOD AT PUTTING THE
HOT DOGS TOGETHER.
AND THEN THE RUSH AT HALFTIME

490
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,159
HOT DOGS TOGETHER.
AND THEN THE RUSH AT HALFTIME
WHEN YOU MAKE THE HOT DOGS--

491
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,760
AND THEN THE RUSH AT HALFTIME
WHEN YOU MAKE THE HOT DOGS--
>> Stephen: YEAH.

492
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:16,628
WHEN YOU MAKE THE HOT DOGS--
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> Jon: IT'S A TERRIBLE FEELING

493
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:20,598
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> Jon: IT'S A TERRIBLE FEELING
WHEN YOU BREAK THE HOT DOG IN

494
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,199
>> Jon: IT'S A TERRIBLE FEELING
WHEN YOU BREAK THE HOT DOG IN
HALF OR YOU GO THROUGH THE BUN

495
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,734
WHEN YOU BREAK THE HOT DOG IN
HALF OR YOU GO THROUGH THE BUN
AND A LINE OF PEOPLE ARE

496
00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:24,636
HALF OR YOU GO THROUGH THE BUN
AND A LINE OF PEOPLE ARE
WAITING.

497
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:27,572
AND A LINE OF PEOPLE ARE
WAITING.
>> Stephen: CAN'T YOU USE THE

498
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:28,206
WAITING.
>> Stephen: CAN'T YOU USE THE
PUMP CHEESE TO GLUE IT ALL BACK

499
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:28,473
>> Stephen: CAN'T YOU USE THE
PUMP CHEESE TO GLUE IT ALL BACK
TOGETHER?

500
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,073
PUMP CHEESE TO GLUE IT ALL BACK
TOGETHER?
YOU PUT ENOUGH PUMP CHEESE ON

501
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:29,607
TOGETHER?
YOU PUT ENOUGH PUMP CHEESE ON
THERE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT

502
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,675
YOU PUT ENOUGH PUMP CHEESE ON
THERE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE SELLING THEM.

503
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,276
THERE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE SELLING THEM.
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

504
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,577
YOU'RE SELLING THEM.
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT TO

505
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,712
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT TO
PEOPLE.

506
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:35,814
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT TO
PEOPLE.
I WANT TO KEEP IT NICE AND NEAT.

507
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:36,581
PEOPLE.
I WANT TO KEEP IT NICE AND NEAT.
YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU CAN JUST

508
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:39,250
I WANT TO KEEP IT NICE AND NEAT.
YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU CAN JUST
HAND IT TO THEM LIKE THAT.

509
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:39,851
YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU CAN JUST
HAND IT TO THEM LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: WELL, I'M GLAD IT

510
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:40,685
HAND IT TO THEM LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: WELL, I'M GLAD IT
WASN'T TOO SEVERE OF A BURN,

511
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,887
>> Stephen: WELL, I'M GLAD IT
WASN'T TOO SEVERE OF A BURN,
JON, BECAUSE I WOULD HATE TO SEE

512
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:43,488
WASN'T TOO SEVERE OF A BURN,
JON, BECAUSE I WOULD HATE TO SEE
ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOUR HANDS.

513
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:43,988
JON, BECAUSE I WOULD HATE TO SEE
ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOUR HANDS.
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC IN

514
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:44,622
ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOUR HANDS.
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC IN
CELEBRATION OF MR. KRASINSKI IN

515
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,391
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC IN
CELEBRATION OF MR. KRASINSKI IN
HERE?

516
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:47,025
CELEBRATION OF MR. KRASINSKI IN
HERE?
ANYTHING THAT HE INSPIRES YOU TO

517
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:52,764
HERE?
ANYTHING THAT HE INSPIRES YOU TO
PLAY?

518
00:13:52,766 --> 00:14:05,877
ANYTHING THAT HE INSPIRES YOU TO
PLAY?
♪ ♪ ♪

519
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:06,511
PLAY?
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM

520
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:06,711
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM
TO ME.

521
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:07,312
>> Stephen: THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM
TO ME.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

522
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,646
TO ME.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, JON.

523
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,381
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

524
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:10,982
THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I

525
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,584
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I
SPEND A LOT OF TIME ASSEMBLING

526
00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:14,419
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I
SPEND A LOT OF TIME ASSEMBLING
THE DAY'S MOST TOPICAL

527
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,221
SPEND A LOT OF TIME ASSEMBLING
THE DAY'S MOST TOPICAL
SNAKEWOOD, EBONY AND TORTOISE

528
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:16,855
THE DAY'S MOST TOPICAL
SNAKEWOOD, EBONY AND TORTOISE
SHELL HORN, HAND-CARVING IT WITH

529
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,623
SNAKEWOOD, EBONY AND TORTOISE
SHELL HORN, HAND-CARVING IT WITH
THE MOST CURRENT IVORY

530
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,225
SHELL HORN, HAND-CARVING IT WITH
THE MOST CURRENT IVORY
ARABESQUES AND INLAID MARQUETRY,

531
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:20,825
THE MOST CURRENT IVORY
ARABESQUES AND INLAID MARQUETRY,
THEN HAND-STITCHING THE DAY'S

532
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:24,629
ARABESQUES AND INLAID MARQUETRY,
THEN HAND-STITCHING THE DAY'S
MOST IMPORTANT NEWS VELVET TO

533
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,799
THEN HAND-STITCHING THE DAY'S
MOST IMPORTANT NEWS VELVET TO
FASHION FOR YOU THE LOUIS

534
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:28,600
MOST IMPORTANT NEWS VELVET TO
FASHION FOR YOU THE LOUIS
QUATORZE FOUR-POSTER CANOPY BED

535
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:30,101
FASHION FOR YOU THE LOUIS
QUATORZE FOUR-POSTER CANOPY BED
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

536
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,703
QUATORZE FOUR-POSTER CANOPY BED
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS,

537
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:32,637
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS,
I STEAL THE ROTTING WOODEN

538
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,739
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS,
I STEAL THE ROTTING WOODEN
PALLETS FROM BEHIND A COSTCO,

539
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,574
I STEAL THE ROTTING WOODEN
PALLETS FROM BEHIND A COSTCO,
GLUE THE BOARDS TOGETHER WITH

540
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:37,141
PALLETS FROM BEHIND A COSTCO,
GLUE THE BOARDS TOGETHER WITH
SOME ELMER'S AND DUCT TAPE,

541
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:37,775
GLUE THE BOARDS TOGETHER WITH
SOME ELMER'S AND DUCT TAPE,
STEAL THE CUSHIONS OUT OF MY

542
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:38,610
SOME ELMER'S AND DUCT TAPE,
STEAL THE CUSHIONS OUT OF MY
NEIGHBOR'S FISHING BOAT, AND

543
00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:39,711
STEAL THE CUSHIONS OUT OF MY
NEIGHBOR'S FISHING BOAT, AND
SLAP IT ALL TOGETHER TO MAKE THE

544
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:40,578
NEIGHBOR'S FISHING BOAT, AND
SLAP IT ALL TOGETHER TO MAKE THE
HOBO FUTON OF NEWS THAT IS MY

545
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,347
SLAP IT ALL TOGETHER TO MAKE THE
HOBO FUTON OF NEWS THAT IS MY
SEGMENT:

546
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,616
HOBO FUTON OF NEWS THAT IS MY
SEGMENT:
♪ ♪ ♪

547
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,718
SEGMENT:
♪ ♪ ♪
<i> QUARANTINE-WHILE!</i>

548
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,121
♪ ♪ ♪
<i> QUARANTINE-WHILE!</i>
QUARANTINE-WHILE, ANGELINA JOLIE

549
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,590
<i> QUARANTINE-WHILE!</i>
QUARANTINE-WHILE, ANGELINA JOLIE
WENT VIRAL TODAY WITH THIS

550
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:56,361
QUARANTINE-WHILE, ANGELINA JOLIE
WENT VIRAL TODAY WITH THIS
INSTAGRAM VIDEO OF HERSELF

551
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:56,861
WENT VIRAL TODAY WITH THIS
INSTAGRAM VIDEO OF HERSELF
COVERED IN BEES TO RAISE

552
00:14:56,863 --> 00:15:00,164
INSTAGRAM VIDEO OF HERSELF
COVERED IN BEES TO RAISE
AWARENESS OF WORLD BEE DAY.

553
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:00,765
COVERED IN BEES TO RAISE
AWARENESS OF WORLD BEE DAY.
OR, ON THE BEE CALENDAR, IT'S

554
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,167
AWARENESS OF WORLD BEE DAY.
OR, ON THE BEE CALENDAR, IT'S
WORLD ANGELINA JOLIE DAY.

555
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:04,569
OR, ON THE BEE CALENDAR, IT'S
WORLD ANGELINA JOLIE DAY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

556
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,136
WORLD ANGELINA JOLIE DAY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
EITHER WAY, IT HAS RAISED MY

557
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:08,606
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
EITHER WAY, IT HAS RAISED MY
AWARENESS THAT I DO NOT WISH TO

558
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,275
EITHER WAY, IT HAS RAISED MY
AWARENESS THAT I DO NOT WISH TO
BE COVERED WITH BEES.

559
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:10,842
AWARENESS THAT I DO NOT WISH TO
BE COVERED WITH BEES.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, SCIENTISTS

560
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:12,610
BE COVERED WITH BEES.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, SCIENTISTS
HAVE UNRAVELED A MYSTERY ABOUT A

561
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,846
QUARANTINE-WHILE, SCIENTISTS
HAVE UNRAVELED A MYSTERY ABOUT A
NAKED GIANT CARVED INTO AN

562
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,614
HAVE UNRAVELED A MYSTERY ABOUT A
NAKED GIANT CARVED INTO AN
ENGLISH HILL.

563
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,583
NAKED GIANT CARVED INTO AN
ENGLISH HILL.
HE IS SWINGING A BIG CLUB.

564
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,050
ENGLISH HILL.
HE IS SWINGING A BIG CLUB.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

565
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,585
HE IS SWINGING A BIG CLUB.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
AND THE ONE IN HIS HAND'S NOT

566
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,553
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
AND THE ONE IN HIS HAND'S NOT
BAD EITHER.

567
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,021
AND THE ONE IN HIS HAND'S NOT
BAD EITHER.
HE IS FEE-FI-FO-HUNG!

568
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:23,388
BAD EITHER.
HE IS FEE-FI-FO-HUNG!
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

569
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:27,492
HE IS FEE-FI-FO-HUNG!
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
NOW, HERE'S THE THING.

570
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:28,626
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
NOW, HERE'S THE THING.
WE CAN ALL SEE HIS BEANSTALK.

571
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:32,597
NOW, HERE'S THE THING.
WE CAN ALL SEE HIS BEANSTALK.
BUT YOU AT HOME ARE GOING TO SEE

572
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,766
WE CAN ALL SEE HIS BEANSTALK.
BUT YOU AT HOME ARE GOING TO SEE
A BLACK BAR COVERING HIS GOLDEN

573
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,601
BUT YOU AT HOME ARE GOING TO SEE
A BLACK BAR COVERING HIS GOLDEN
GOOSE, EVEN THOUGH HE'S

574
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:40,371
A BLACK BAR COVERING HIS GOLDEN
GOOSE, EVEN THOUGH HE'S
LITERALLY COVERING AN ENTIRE

575
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:40,939
GOOSE, EVEN THOUGH HE'S
LITERALLY COVERING AN ENTIRE
HILLSIDE IN ENGLAND, CLEARLY

576
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:44,075
LITERALLY COVERING AN ENTIRE
HILLSIDE IN ENGLAND, CLEARLY
VISIBLE FROM ANYWHERE IN THE

577
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:44,609
HILLSIDE IN ENGLAND, CLEARLY
VISIBLE FROM ANYWHERE IN THE
SURROUNDING AREA.

578
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,478
VISIBLE FROM ANYWHERE IN THE
SURROUNDING AREA.
IN FACT, THE ONLY MAN-MADE

579
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,112
SURROUNDING AREA.
IN FACT, THE ONLY MAN-MADE
THINGS ASTRONAUTS CAN SEE FROM

580
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:48,680
IN FACT, THE ONLY MAN-MADE
THINGS ASTRONAUTS CAN SEE FROM
SPACE ARE THE GREAT WALL OF

581
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:49,614
THINGS ASTRONAUTS CAN SEE FROM
SPACE ARE THE GREAT WALL OF
CHINA, AND THIS GUY'S DONG.

582
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,848
SPACE ARE THE GREAT WALL OF
CHINA, AND THIS GUY'S DONG.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

583
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:51,449
CHINA, AND THIS GUY'S DONG.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
AND YET THE CBS CORPORATION IS

584
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,617
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
AND YET THE CBS CORPORATION IS
GOING TO MAKE ME PUT A BAR OVER

585
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,552
AND YET THE CBS CORPORATION IS
GOING TO MAKE ME PUT A BAR OVER
IT.

586
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,421
GOING TO MAKE ME PUT A BAR OVER
IT.
UNTIL NOW, RESEARCHERS BELIEVED

587
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:57,055
IT.
UNTIL NOW, RESEARCHERS BELIEVED
THE ROMANS MADE HIM 2,000 YEARS

588
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,756
UNTIL NOW, RESEARCHERS BELIEVED
THE ROMANS MADE HIM 2,000 YEARS
AGO, WHILE OTHERS THOUGHT IT WAS

589
00:15:58,758 --> 00:15:59,958
THE ROMANS MADE HIM 2,000 YEARS
AGO, WHILE OTHERS THOUGHT IT WAS
DESIGNED TO MOCK THE 17TH-

590
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:00,625
AGO, WHILE OTHERS THOUGHT IT WAS
DESIGNED TO MOCK THE 17TH-
CENTURY LORD PROTECTOR OF

591
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,329
DESIGNED TO MOCK THE 17TH-
CENTURY LORD PROTECTOR OF
ENGLAND, OLIVER CROMWELL.

592
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:04,929
CENTURY LORD PROTECTOR OF
ENGLAND, OLIVER CROMWELL.
MAYBE NOT THE BEST WAY TO MAKE

593
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,998
ENGLAND, OLIVER CROMWELL.
MAYBE NOT THE BEST WAY TO MAKE
FUN OF SOMEONE?

594
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,633
MAYBE NOT THE BEST WAY TO MAKE
FUN OF SOMEONE?
"HOW SHOULD WE MAKE FUN OF THE

595
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,268
FUN OF SOMEONE?
"HOW SHOULD WE MAKE FUN OF THE
LORD PROTECTOR?"

596
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:10,835
"HOW SHOULD WE MAKE FUN OF THE
LORD PROTECTOR?"
(<i> AS ENGLISH PEASANTS</i> )

597
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:11,436
LORD PROTECTOR?"
(<i> AS ENGLISH PEASANTS</i> )
"I'VE GOT IT, LET'S GIVE 'IM A

598
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,938
(<i> AS ENGLISH PEASANTS</i> )
"I'VE GOT IT, LET'S GIVE 'IM A
MASSIVE BANGERS AND MASH!

599
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,474
"I'VE GOT IT, LET'S GIVE 'IM A
MASSIVE BANGERS AND MASH!
THA'LL SHOW 'IM!"

600
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:16,841
MASSIVE BANGERS AND MASH!
THA'LL SHOW 'IM!"
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

601
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:17,375
THA'LL SHOW 'IM!"
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
THAT WAS A PERFECT ENGLISH

602
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,242
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
THAT WAS A PERFECT ENGLISH
ACCENT, WASN'T IT?

603
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:18,643
THAT WAS A PERFECT ENGLISH
ACCENT, WASN'T IT?
>> I MEAN PERFECT.

604
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,210
ACCENT, WASN'T IT?
>> I MEAN PERFECT.
>> Stephen: DID I SOUND LIKE

605
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:19,410
>> I MEAN PERFECT.
>> Stephen: DID I SOUND LIKE
EMILY?

606
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:19,944
>> Stephen: DID I SOUND LIKE
EMILY?
>> I WAS TRICKED INTO IT.

607
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:20,578
EMILY?
>> I WAS TRICKED INTO IT.
IT WAS EMILY.

608
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:24,615
>> I WAS TRICKED INTO IT.
IT WAS EMILY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

609
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,551
IT WAS EMILY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: BUT A TEAM OF

610
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,185
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: BUT A TEAM OF
ARCHEOLOGISTS HAS NOW CONCLUDED

611
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:27,785
>> Stephen: BUT A TEAM OF
ARCHEOLOGISTS HAS NOW CONCLUDED
THAT THE GIANT WAS CARVED INTO

612
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:28,619
ARCHEOLOGISTS HAS NOW CONCLUDED
THAT THE GIANT WAS CARVED INTO
THE HILL BETWEEN THE YEARS 700

613
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,589
THAT THE GIANT WAS CARVED INTO
THE HILL BETWEEN THE YEARS 700
AND 1110 A.D.

614
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:32,357
THE HILL BETWEEN THE YEARS 700
AND 1110 A.D.
SO IT'S A MEDIEVAL PENIS PIC.

615
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:32,690
AND 1110 A.D.
SO IT'S A MEDIEVAL PENIS PIC.
THAT'S RISKY.

616
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,291
SO IT'S A MEDIEVAL PENIS PIC.
THAT'S RISKY.
WHAT IF THE WRONG PERSON SEES

617
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,092
THAT'S RISKY.
WHAT IF THE WRONG PERSON SEES
IT?

618
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:34,792
WHAT IF THE WRONG PERSON SEES
IT?
"NO, MOM!

619
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,027
IT?
"NO, MOM!
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO GO TO

620
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:36,627
"NO, MOM!
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO GO TO
THE STREAM TO PICK FIDDLEHEADS

621
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,763
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO GO TO
THE STREAM TO PICK FIDDLEHEADS
TODAY!

622
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:39,397
THE STREAM TO PICK FIDDLEHEADS
TODAY!
THAT HILLSIDE WAS FOR GERTRUDE!

623
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:40,631
TODAY!
THAT HILLSIDE WAS FOR GERTRUDE!
...DID YOU SEE HER?

624
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,601
THAT HILLSIDE WAS FOR GERTRUDE!
...DID YOU SEE HER?
DID SHE SAY ANYTHING?"

625
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,135
...DID YOU SEE HER?
DID SHE SAY ANYTHING?"
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

626
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:44,769
DID SHE SAY ANYTHING?"
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
QUARANTINE-WHILE, "MICROSOFT IS

627
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,771
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
QUARANTINE-WHILE, "MICROSOFT IS
FINALLY RETIRING INTERNET

628
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:49,674
QUARANTINE-WHILE, "MICROSOFT IS
FINALLY RETIRING INTERNET
EXPLORER IN 2022."

629
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,175
FINALLY RETIRING INTERNET
EXPLORER IN 2022."
AT LEAST THEY CAN REST EASY

630
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,610
EXPLORER IN 2022."
AT LEAST THEY CAN REST EASY
KNOWING THEY HELPED SO MANY

631
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,212
AT LEAST THEY CAN REST EASY
KNOWING THEY HELPED SO MANY
PEOPLE DOWNLOAD GOOGLE CHROME.

632
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:54,679
KNOWING THEY HELPED SO MANY
PEOPLE DOWNLOAD GOOGLE CHROME.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

633
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,614
PEOPLE DOWNLOAD GOOGLE CHROME.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IT'S TIME FOR

634
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,750
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IT'S TIME FOR
MY ONCE-EVERY-17-YEARS SEGMENT

635
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:00,618
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IT'S TIME FOR
MY ONCE-EVERY-17-YEARS SEGMENT
"CICADA UPDADA!"

636
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,287
MY ONCE-EVERY-17-YEARS SEGMENT
"CICADA UPDADA!"
(<i> CICADA BUZZING</i> )

637
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:03,921
"CICADA UPDADA!"
(<i> CICADA BUZZING</i> )
>> GOD, I NEED A CUP OF COFFEE!

638
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:04,522
(<i> CICADA BUZZING</i> )
>> GOD, I NEED A CUP OF COFFEE!
>> Stephen: EVERYONE'S TALKING

639
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,891
>> GOD, I NEED A CUP OF COFFEE!
>> Stephen: EVERYONE'S TALKING
ABOUT THE BROOD X CICADAS RE-

640
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,092
>> Stephen: EVERYONE'S TALKING
ABOUT THE BROOD X CICADAS RE-
EMERGING IN 15 STATES AFTER

641
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:08,693
ABOUT THE BROOD X CICADAS RE-
EMERGING IN 15 STATES AFTER
HIBERNATION, AND ACCORDING TO

642
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,762
EMERGING IN 15 STATES AFTER
HIBERNATION, AND ACCORDING TO
EXPERTS, PEOPLE ARE NOW EATING

643
00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:12,630
HIBERNATION, AND ACCORDING TO
EXPERTS, PEOPLE ARE NOW EATING
CICADAS FOUND IN THEIR BACKYARD,

644
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:16,601
EXPERTS, PEOPLE ARE NOW EATING
CICADAS FOUND IN THEIR BACKYARD,
AND YOU CAN, TOO.

645
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:17,635
CICADAS FOUND IN THEIR BACKYARD,
AND YOU CAN, TOO.
SURE, I<i> CAN,</i> BUT THAT DOESN'T

646
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:18,636
AND YOU CAN, TOO.
SURE, I<i> CAN,</i> BUT THAT DOESN'T
MEAN I SHOULD.

647
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,137
SURE, I<i> CAN,</i> BUT THAT DOESN'T
MEAN I SHOULD.
I CAN EAT ANYTHING IN MY

648
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,104
MEAN I SHOULD.
I CAN EAT ANYTHING IN MY
BACKYARD.

649
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:20,638
I CAN EAT ANYTHING IN MY
BACKYARD.
FLOWERS, GRASS.

650
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,774
BACKYARD.
FLOWERS, GRASS.
I COULD EAT THE SWING SET IF YOU

651
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:23,374
FLOWERS, GRASS.
I COULD EAT THE SWING SET IF YOU
LET ME DEEP-FRY IT FIRST.

652
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:23,841
I COULD EAT THE SWING SET IF YOU
LET ME DEEP-FRY IT FIRST.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

653
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,877
LET ME DEEP-FRY IT FIRST.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
BUT GETTING EATEN MIGHT BE THE

654
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,879
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
BUT GETTING EATEN MIGHT BE THE
LEAST OF A CICADA'S WORRIES,

655
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:28,579
BUT GETTING EATEN MIGHT BE THE
LEAST OF A CICADA'S WORRIES,
BECAUSE, QUARANTINE-WHILE,

656
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,948
LEAST OF A CICADA'S WORRIES,
BECAUSE, QUARANTINE-WHILE,
"BROOD X CICADAS FACE A 'DEATH-

657
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,617
BECAUSE, QUARANTINE-WHILE,
"BROOD X CICADAS FACE A 'DEATH-
ZOMBIE FUNGUS' THAT EATS AWAY AT

658
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,786
"BROOD X CICADAS FACE A 'DEATH-
ZOMBIE FUNGUS' THAT EATS AWAY AT
THEIR BUTTS."

659
00:17:34,788 --> 00:17:35,753
ZOMBIE FUNGUS' THAT EATS AWAY AT
THEIR BUTTS."
WHICH RAISES THE OBVIOUS

660
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:36,587
THEIR BUTTS."
WHICH RAISES THE OBVIOUS
QUESTION: WHEN DO YOU TELL

661
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,089
WHICH RAISES THE OBVIOUS
QUESTION: WHEN DO YOU TELL
NEW ROMANTIC PARTNERS THAT YOU

662
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,625
QUESTION: WHEN DO YOU TELL
NEW ROMANTIC PARTNERS THAT YOU
HAVE A DEATH ZOMBIE FUNGUS

663
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:41,426
NEW ROMANTIC PARTNERS THAT YOU
HAVE A DEATH ZOMBIE FUNGUS
EATING YOUR BUTT?

664
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:42,660
HAVE A DEATH ZOMBIE FUNGUS
EATING YOUR BUTT?
I'M GOING TO SAY FIRST DATE

665
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,295
EATING YOUR BUTT?
I'M GOING TO SAY FIRST DATE
SINCE, YOU KNOW, THE CLOCK'S

666
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:44,762
I'M GOING TO SAY FIRST DATE
SINCE, YOU KNOW, THE CLOCK'S
TICKING ON YOUR BUTT.

667
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,396
SINCE, YOU KNOW, THE CLOCK'S
TICKING ON YOUR BUTT.
NOW, I FIRST TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS

668
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,266
TICKING ON YOUR BUTT.
NOW, I FIRST TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS
UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTING STORY

669
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:48,866
NOW, I FIRST TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS
UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTING STORY
BACK IN AUGUST, BUT THERE ARE

670
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,535
UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTING STORY
BACK IN AUGUST, BUT THERE ARE
NEW DETAILS WHICH ARE EVEN MORE

671
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:51,903
BACK IN AUGUST, BUT THERE ARE
NEW DETAILS WHICH ARE EVEN MORE
UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTING-ER.

672
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:52,603
NEW DETAILS WHICH ARE EVEN MORE
UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTING-ER.
WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR "CICADA

673
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,006
UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTING-ER.
WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR "CICADA
UPDADA UPDADA!"

674
00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:56,607
WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR "CICADA
UPDADA UPDADA!"
(<i> CICADA BUZZING</i> )

675
00:17:56,609 --> 00:18:00,611
UPDADA UPDADA!"
(<i> CICADA BUZZING</i> )
>> OUCH, MY BUTT!

676
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:01,446
(<i> CICADA BUZZING</i> )
>> OUCH, MY BUTT!
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

677
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,980
>> OUCH, MY BUTT!
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: HIS VOICE REALLY

678
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,382
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: HIS VOICE REALLY
CHANGED BETWEEN THOSE TWO.

679
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:04,749
>> Stephen: HIS VOICE REALLY
CHANGED BETWEEN THOSE TWO.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

680
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:08,219
CHANGED BETWEEN THOSE TWO.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
APPARENTLY, IF INFECTED, THE

681
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:08,820
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
APPARENTLY, IF INFECTED, THE
MASSOSPORA FUNGUS EATS AWAY AT

682
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:10,788
APPARENTLY, IF INFECTED, THE
MASSOSPORA FUNGUS EATS AWAY AT
THE CICADA'S BUTT, WHICH WEARS

683
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,623
MASSOSPORA FUNGUS EATS AWAY AT
THE CICADA'S BUTT, WHICH WEARS
AWAY "LIKE AN ERASER ON A

684
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,760
THE CICADA'S BUTT, WHICH WEARS
AWAY "LIKE AN ERASER ON A
PENCIL."

685
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:16,561
AWAY "LIKE AN ERASER ON A
PENCIL."
CAN I GET SOME OF THAT FUNGUS?

686
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:17,095
PENCIL."
CAN I GET SOME OF THAT FUNGUS?
BECAUSE AFTER 15 MONTHS IN

687
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,697
CAN I GET SOME OF THAT FUNGUS?
BECAUSE AFTER 15 MONTHS IN
LOCKDOWN, I'VE GOT SOME SPARE

688
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:20,631
BECAUSE AFTER 15 MONTHS IN
LOCKDOWN, I'VE GOT SOME SPARE
ASS I WOULDN'T MIND ERASING.

689
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,800
LOCKDOWN, I'VE GOT SOME SPARE
ASS I WOULDN'T MIND ERASING.
BONUS, THE FUNGUS "PUSHES THEIR

690
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,635
ASS I WOULDN'T MIND ERASING.
BONUS, THE FUNGUS "PUSHES THEIR
MATING INTO HYPERDRIVE," THEN,

691
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,505
BONUS, THE FUNGUS "PUSHES THEIR
MATING INTO HYPERDRIVE," THEN,
"AS THE CICADAS' WINGS BEAT,

692
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,606
MATING INTO HYPERDRIVE," THEN,
"AS THE CICADAS' WINGS BEAT,
THEY PROPEL INTO THE AIR SPORES

693
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,441
"AS THE CICADAS' WINGS BEAT,
THEY PROPEL INTO THE AIR SPORES
THAT LOOK LIKE SALT AS THEY RAIN

694
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,943
THEY PROPEL INTO THE AIR SPORES
THAT LOOK LIKE SALT AS THEY RAIN
DOWN," TURNING THEM INTO WHAT

695
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:32,577
THAT LOOK LIKE SALT AS THEY RAIN
DOWN," TURNING THEM INTO WHAT
RESEARCHERS NOW CALL "SEX-CRAZED

696
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:35,746
DOWN," TURNING THEM INTO WHAT
RESEARCHERS NOW CALL "SEX-CRAZED
'SALT SHAKERS OF DEATH'."

697
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:36,180
RESEARCHERS NOW CALL "SEX-CRAZED
'SALT SHAKERS OF DEATH'."
OKAY.

698
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:36,581
'SALT SHAKERS OF DEATH'."
OKAY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

699
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,983
OKAY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
NOW THEY'RE JUST THROWING

700
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:39,550
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
NOW THEY'RE JUST THROWING
MAGNETIC POETRY AT A FRIDGE.

701
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,585
NOW THEY'RE JUST THROWING
MAGNETIC POETRY AT A FRIDGE.
AND GET THIS, THE FUNGUS ALSO

702
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:41,452
MAGNETIC POETRY AT A FRIDGE.
AND GET THIS, THE FUNGUS ALSO
CONTAINS "CHEMICALS LIKE THE

703
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,987
AND GET THIS, THE FUNGUS ALSO
CONTAINS "CHEMICALS LIKE THE
ONES FOUND IN HALLUCINOGENIC

704
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,188
CONTAINS "CHEMICALS LIKE THE
ONES FOUND IN HALLUCINOGENIC
MUSHROOMS."

705
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:44,822
ONES FOUND IN HALLUCINOGENIC
MUSHROOMS."
SO REMEMBER: IF YOU ARE GOING TO

706
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,757
MUSHROOMS."
SO REMEMBER: IF YOU ARE GOING TO
EAT A CICADA, YOU WANT TO MAKE

707
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,626
SO REMEMBER: IF YOU ARE GOING TO
EAT A CICADA, YOU WANT TO MAKE
SURE YOU SWALLOW IT ABOUT 45

708
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,429
EAT A CICADA, YOU WANT TO MAKE
SURE YOU SWALLOW IT ABOUT 45
MINUTES BEFORE HEADING TO THE

709
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:51,996
SURE YOU SWALLOW IT ABOUT 45
MINUTES BEFORE HEADING TO THE
PLANETARIUM FOR LASER FLOYD.

710
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:52,597
MINUTES BEFORE HEADING TO THE
PLANETARIUM FOR LASER FLOYD.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOHN

711
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:56,601
PLANETARIUM FOR LASER FLOYD.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOHN
KRASINSKI.

712
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,670
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOHN
KRASINSKI.
THAT GUY.

713
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:11,415
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,

714
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:11,949
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.

715
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,117
>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW MY GUEST FROM-- SITTING

716
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:13,684
EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW MY GUEST FROM-- SITTING
OVER THERE-- BUT ALSO AS THE

717
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:14,318
YOU KNOW MY GUEST FROM-- SITTING
OVER THERE-- BUT ALSO AS THE
WRITER AND DIRECTOR OF "A QUIET

718
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:23,628
OVER THERE-- BUT ALSO AS THE
WRITER AND DIRECTOR OF "A QUIET
PLACE PART II."

719
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:32,303
(<i> CAR DOOR SLAMS</i> )
(<i> SIREN</i> )
>> WAIT HERE.

720
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,416
RONNY, WHAT WE GOT?
>> WE'VE GOT UNITS HEADED OUT
THERE NOW, E.M.S. AND FIRE.

721
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:45,750
>> WE'VE GOT UNITS HEADED OUT
THERE NOW, E.M.S. AND FIRE.
(<i> INAUDIBLE)</i>

722
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:51,789
THERE NOW, E.M.S. AND FIRE.
(<i> INAUDIBLE)</i>
(<i> CRASH</i> )

723
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:52,390
(<i> INAUDIBLE)</i>
(<i> CRASH</i> )
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO

724
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:53,591
(<i> CRASH</i> )
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO
"A LATE SHOW," JOHN KRASINSKI!

725
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:57,461
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO
"A LATE SHOW," JOHN KRASINSKI!
JOHN.

726
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:59,664
"A LATE SHOW," JOHN KRASINSKI!
JOHN.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

727
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:00,164
JOHN.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )

728
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:00,865
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
>> Stephen: JOHN, THIS IS GREAT.

729
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,332
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
>> Stephen: JOHN, THIS IS GREAT.
SIT A LITTLE CLOSER

730
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:01,766
>> Stephen: JOHN, THIS IS GREAT.
SIT A LITTLE CLOSER
>> A LITTLE CLOSER?

731
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,067
SIT A LITTLE CLOSER
>> A LITTLE CLOSER?
>> Stephen: THANKS VERY MUCH.

732
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,469
>> A LITTLE CLOSER?
>> Stephen: THANKS VERY MUCH.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GAUGE

733
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,638
>> Stephen: THANKS VERY MUCH.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GAUGE
IT.

734
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,307
>> I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GAUGE
IT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S, ARE WE--

735
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,608
IT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S, ARE WE--
CAN WE MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT IN

736
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:10,875
>> Stephen: THAT'S, ARE WE--
CAN WE MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT IN
THE SHOT?

737
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:11,342
CAN WE MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT IN
THE SHOT?
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

738
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,009
THE SHOT?
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> I WAS WONDERING IF SHE COULD

739
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:12,510
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> I WAS WONDERING IF SHE COULD
BE IN THE SHOT.

740
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:12,910
>> I WAS WONDERING IF SHE COULD
BE IN THE SHOT.
>> Stephen: WHAT?

741
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:13,444
BE IN THE SHOT.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> IT'S SORT OF A SECURITY

742
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:13,878
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> IT'S SORT OF A SECURITY
BLANKET FOR ME NOW.

743
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,046
>> IT'S SORT OF A SECURITY
BLANKET FOR ME NOW.
>> Stephen: THE, THE--

744
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,314
BLANKET FOR ME NOW.
>> Stephen: THE, THE--
>> HOLD ON, I'M GOING TO GET MY

745
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,448
>> Stephen: THE, THE--
>> HOLD ON, I'M GOING TO GET MY
CUP.

746
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,650
>> HOLD ON, I'M GOING TO GET MY
CUP.
>> Stephen: CUP?

747
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,285
CUP.
>> Stephen: CUP?
>> IT'S VERY, VERY D.I.Y. NOW,

748
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:21,719
>> Stephen: CUP?
>> IT'S VERY, VERY D.I.Y. NOW,
GET YOUR OWN WATER.

749
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:22,253
>> IT'S VERY, VERY D.I.Y. NOW,
GET YOUR OWN WATER.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE

750
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,488
GET YOUR OWN WATER.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE
SOMETHING TO DRINK?

751
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,089
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
>> AH, YEAH.

752
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:25,523
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
>> AH, YEAH.
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

753
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:26,090
>> AH, YEAH.
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU FEEL

754
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:26,290
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU FEEL
LIKE?

755
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:26,791
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU FEEL
LIKE?
>> WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?

756
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:27,391
LIKE?
>> WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?
>> Stephen: BOURBON.

757
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,427
>> WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?
>> Stephen: BOURBON.
MM-HMM.

758
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,629
>> Stephen: BOURBON.
MM-HMM.
SO, JOHN, THE LAST TIME WE WERE

759
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,063
MM-HMM.
SO, JOHN, THE LAST TIME WE WERE
TOGETHER WAS--

760
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:32,530
SO, JOHN, THE LAST TIME WE WERE
TOGETHER WAS--
(<i> GLASS CLINKING</i> )

761
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:33,364
TOGETHER WAS--
(<i> GLASS CLINKING</i> )
MARCH 9, 2020.

762
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,765
(<i> GLASS CLINKING</i> )
MARCH 9, 2020.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

763
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,435
MARCH 9, 2020.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> OKAY, I'LL TAKE SOME ICE.

764
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,704
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> OKAY, I'LL TAKE SOME ICE.
>> OH!

765
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,405
>> OKAY, I'LL TAKE SOME ICE.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.

766
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:41,739
>> OH!
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
>> OH, YEAH.

767
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,608
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
>> OH, YEAH.
THEY ALL THAT THE COVID

768
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:49,447
>> OH, YEAH.
THEY ALL THAT THE COVID
MANHATTAN.

769
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:53,417
THEY ALL THAT THE COVID
MANHATTAN.
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.

770
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,620
MANHATTAN.
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.
>> YEAH, THERE IT IS.

771
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,321
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.
>> YEAH, THERE IT IS.
PERFECT.

772
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:57,722
>> YEAH, THERE IT IS.
PERFECT.
THAT'LL KILL IT.

773
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:58,155
PERFECT.
THAT'LL KILL IT.
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.

774
00:20:58,157 --> 00:20:58,689
THAT'LL KILL IT.
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.
(<i> GLASS CLINKING</i> )

775
00:20:58,691 --> 00:20:59,423
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.
(<i> GLASS CLINKING</i> )
OW!

776
00:20:59,425 --> 00:20:59,757
(<i> GLASS CLINKING</i> )
OW!
(<i> BLEEP</i> )

777
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:00,424
OW!
(<i> BLEEP</i> )
>> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

778
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,425
(<i> BLEEP</i> )
>> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

779
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,159
>> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
JUST GO TO COMMERCIAL?

780
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:03,194
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
JUST GO TO COMMERCIAL?
>> Stephen: I DON'T USUALLY MOVE

781
00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:04,795
JUST GO TO COMMERCIAL?
>> Stephen: I DON'T USUALLY MOVE
THIS MUCH.

782
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:05,429
>> Stephen: I DON'T USUALLY MOVE
THIS MUCH.
DAMN IT, THAT HURT.

783
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:08,966
THIS MUCH.
DAMN IT, THAT HURT.
>> SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU OKAY?

784
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:09,600
DAMN IT, THAT HURT.
>> SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> Stephen: YEAH, I'LL BE FINE.

785
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:13,304
>> SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> Stephen: YEAH, I'LL BE FINE.
I'LL BE FINE.

786
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:13,771
>> Stephen: YEAH, I'LL BE FINE.
I'LL BE FINE.
THAT WILL BE 14 BUCKS.

787
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:14,739
I'LL BE FINE.
THAT WILL BE 14 BUCKS.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

788
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:15,139
THAT WILL BE 14 BUCKS.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
THERE'S A MINIMUM.

789
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,807
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
THERE'S A MINIMUM.
THERE'S A MINIMUM.

790
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:17,408
THERE'S A MINIMUM.
THERE'S A MINIMUM.
>> TWO OF THEM.

791
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,843
THERE'S A MINIMUM.
>> TWO OF THEM.
I'VE GOT TO ORDER TWO.

792
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:19,443
>> TWO OF THEM.
I'VE GOT TO ORDER TWO.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THE GIRLS

793
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,911
I'VE GOT TO ORDER TWO.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THE GIRLS
ARE GOING TO BE OUT HERE IN A

794
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:21,145
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THE GIRLS
ARE GOING TO BE OUT HERE IN A
MINUTE.

795
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:21,679
ARE GOING TO BE OUT HERE IN A
MINUTE.
AND YOU'VE GOT TO BUY THEM

796
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:22,747
MINUTE.
AND YOU'VE GOT TO BUY THEM
DRINKS, TOO.

797
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:23,681
AND YOU'VE GOT TO BUY THEM
DRINKS, TOO.
>> NO PROBLEM.

798
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:24,282
DRINKS, TOO.
>> NO PROBLEM.
>> Stephen: NOW, THE LAST TIME

799
00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:25,449
>> NO PROBLEM.
>> Stephen: NOW, THE LAST TIME
WE WERE TOGETHER WAS MARCH 9 OF

800
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:29,353
>> Stephen: NOW, THE LAST TIME
WE WERE TOGETHER WAS MARCH 9 OF
2020, WHICH WAS THREE DAYS

801
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:30,354
WE WERE TOGETHER WAS MARCH 9 OF
2020, WHICH WAS THREE DAYS
BEFORE WE HAD TO BUG OUT BECAUSE

802
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,022
2020, WHICH WAS THREE DAYS
BEFORE WE HAD TO BUG OUT BECAUSE
EVERYTHING SHUT DOWN.

803
00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:31,656
BEFORE WE HAD TO BUG OUT BECAUSE
EVERYTHING SHUT DOWN.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.

804
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,424
EVERYTHING SHUT DOWN.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND YOU WERE HERE

805
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:36,627
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND YOU WERE HERE
FOR A LITTLE PROJECT CALLED--

806
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:37,194
>> Stephen: AND YOU WERE HERE
FOR A LITTLE PROJECT CALLED--
>> "A QUIET PLACE PART II"--

807
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:37,428
FOR A LITTLE PROJECT CALLED--
>> "A QUIET PLACE PART II"--
1.0.

808
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:38,796
>> "A QUIET PLACE PART II"--
1.0.
THIS IS 2.0.

809
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,432
1.0.
THIS IS 2.0.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

810
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,634
THIS IS 2.0.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: AND I WANT TO TAKE A

811
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,436
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: AND I WANT TO TAKE A
LOOK AT THE ENTRANCE WHEN YOU

812
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:47,438
>> Stephen: AND I WANT TO TAKE A
LOOK AT THE ENTRANCE WHEN YOU
WERE HERE OVER A YEAR AGO.

813
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,440
LOOK AT THE ENTRANCE WHEN YOU
WERE HERE OVER A YEAR AGO.
YOU CAN GET A SENSE WE WERE

814
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:50,941
WERE HERE OVER A YEAR AGO.
YOU CAN GET A SENSE WE WERE
BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND THAT

815
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:51,542
YOU CAN GET A SENSE WE WERE
BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND THAT
SOMETHING BAD WAS ABOUT TO BE

816
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:52,943
BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND THAT
SOMETHING BAD WAS ABOUT TO BE
COMING DOWN THE PIKE.

817
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:53,411
SOMETHING BAD WAS ABOUT TO BE
COMING DOWN THE PIKE.
WE WEREN'T QUITE SURE.

818
00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:57,448
COMING DOWN THE PIKE.
WE WEREN'T QUITE SURE.
THAT WAS IT.

819
00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:01,419
WE WEREN'T QUITE SURE.
THAT WAS IT.
>> JUST BEFORE I WENT OUT,

820
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,020
THAT WAS IT.
>> JUST BEFORE I WENT OUT,
SOMEBODY WAS, LIKE, YOU'RE NOT

821
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:03,587
>> JUST BEFORE I WENT OUT,
SOMEBODY WAS, LIKE, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO TOUCH THEM ARE YOU?

822
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,423
SOMEBODY WAS, LIKE, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO TOUCH THEM ARE YOU?
AND THEY'RE, LIKE, AND JOHN

823
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:07,658
GOING TO TOUCH THEM ARE YOU?
AND THEY'RE, LIKE, AND JOHN
KRASINSKI.

824
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:08,693
AND THEY'RE, LIKE, AND JOHN
KRASINSKI.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

825
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:09,460
KRASINSKI.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
I WAS, LIKE, AM I SUPPOSED TO?

826
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:13,431
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
I WAS, LIKE, AM I SUPPOSED TO?
<i> AS</i> I WAS GOING ON STAGE.

827
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:13,964
I WAS, LIKE, AM I SUPPOSED TO?
<i> AS</i> I WAS GOING ON STAGE.
SO IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD.

828
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:14,598
<i> AS</i> I WAS GOING ON STAGE.
SO IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD.
>> Stephen: I WANT YOU TO KNOW,

829
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,002
SO IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD.
>> Stephen: I WANT YOU TO KNOW,
WHEN YOU WERE HERE THEN, I DON'T

830
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:18,636
>> Stephen: I WANT YOU TO KNOW,
WHEN YOU WERE HERE THEN, I DON'T
KNOW WHETHER I PRETENDED TO HAVE

831
00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:19,637
WHEN YOU WERE HERE THEN, I DON'T
KNOW WHETHER I PRETENDED TO HAVE
SEEN YOUR MOVIE, BECAUSE I WOULD

832
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:20,104
KNOW WHETHER I PRETENDED TO HAVE
SEEN YOUR MOVIE, BECAUSE I WOULD
NEVER DO THAT TO YOU.

833
00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:21,439
SEEN YOUR MOVIE, BECAUSE I WOULD
NEVER DO THAT TO YOU.
DID I DO THAT?

834
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:22,907
NEVER DO THAT TO YOU.
DID I DO THAT?
DID I PRETEND TO--

835
00:22:22,909 --> 00:22:23,240
DID I DO THAT?
DID I PRETEND TO--
>> YEAH.

836
00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:24,075
DID I PRETEND TO--
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I HAD NEVER SEEN

837
00:22:24,077 --> 00:22:25,242
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I HAD NEVER SEEN
YOUR MOVIE.

838
00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:25,509
>> Stephen: I HAD NEVER SEEN
YOUR MOVIE.
>>> OKAY.

839
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:26,610
YOUR MOVIE.
>>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: I HAVE SEEN IT NOW.

840
00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:27,211
>>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: I HAVE SEEN IT NOW.
THAT'S ONE OF THE BENEFITS OF

841
00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:28,412
>> Stephen: I HAVE SEEN IT NOW.
THAT'S ONE OF THE BENEFITS OF
ITS RELEASE BEING DELAYED 14

842
00:22:28,414 --> 00:22:28,646
THAT'S ONE OF THE BENEFITS OF
ITS RELEASE BEING DELAYED 14
MONTHS.

843
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:29,413
ITS RELEASE BEING DELAYED 14
MONTHS.
>> YOU HAD A GOOD YEAR, A YEAR

844
00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:29,780
MONTHS.
>> YOU HAD A GOOD YEAR, A YEAR
PLUS--

845
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:30,381
>> YOU HAD A GOOD YEAR, A YEAR
PLUS--
>> Stephen: I HAD A CHANCE TO

846
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:31,015
PLUS--
>> Stephen: I HAD A CHANCE TO
WATCH YOUR MOVIE, WE SAW IT LAST

847
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:31,649
>> Stephen: I HAD A CHANCE TO
WATCH YOUR MOVIE, WE SAW IT LAST
NIGHT AND WE LOVED IT.

848
00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:32,416
WATCH YOUR MOVIE, WE SAW IT LAST
NIGHT AND WE LOVED IT.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

849
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:33,351
NIGHT AND WE LOVED IT.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: IT'S A FANTASTIC

850
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:33,984
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: IT'S A FANTASTIC
MOVIE, IT'S GETTING GREAT

851
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:34,518
>> Stephen: IT'S A FANTASTIC
MOVIE, IT'S GETTING GREAT
REVIEWS.

852
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,388
MOVIE, IT'S GETTING GREAT
REVIEWS.
> IT WAS REALLY TERRIFYING.

853
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:37,988
REVIEWS.
> IT WAS REALLY TERRIFYING.
>> Stephen: I WANT TO GIVE YOU

854
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:38,255
> IT WAS REALLY TERRIFYING.
>> Stephen: I WANT TO GIVE YOU
SOMETHING.

855
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:38,489
>> Stephen: I WANT TO GIVE YOU
SOMETHING.
>> OKAY.

856
00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:39,256
SOMETHING.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: THIS IS THE DVD--

857
00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:40,191
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: THIS IS THE DVD--
>> YES.

858
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:40,791
>> Stephen: THIS IS THE DVD--
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THAT THEY GAVE ME.

859
00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:41,425
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THAT THEY GAVE ME.
IT HAS MY NAME ON IT AND I WANT

860
00:22:41,427 --> 00:22:42,760
>> Stephen: THAT THEY GAVE ME.
IT HAS MY NAME ON IT AND I WANT
YOU TO KNOW--

861
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:43,627
IT HAS MY NAME ON IT AND I WANT
YOU TO KNOW--
>> YOU HAVE TO DESTROY IT.

862
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:44,829
YOU TO KNOW--
>> YOU HAVE TO DESTROY IT.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN TELL YOUR

863
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:45,429
>> YOU HAVE TO DESTROY IT.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN TELL YOUR
BOYS OVER AT PARAMOUNT TO STOP

864
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:48,299
>> Stephen: YOU CAN TELL YOUR
BOYS OVER AT PARAMOUNT TO STOP
CALLING ME EVERY OTHER HEARTBEAT

865
00:22:48,301 --> 00:22:49,400
BOYS OVER AT PARAMOUNT TO STOP
CALLING ME EVERY OTHER HEARTBEAT
TO GET THE DVD BACK.

866
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:51,302
CALLING ME EVERY OTHER HEARTBEAT
TO GET THE DVD BACK.
I'M NOT GOING TO SELL IT DOWN IN

867
00:22:51,304 --> 00:22:52,169
TO GET THE DVD BACK.
I'M NOT GOING TO SELL IT DOWN IN
CHINATOWN, I PROMISE YOU.

868
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:52,903
I'M NOT GOING TO SELL IT DOWN IN
CHINATOWN, I PROMISE YOU.
>> BUT YOU DID COPY IT.

869
00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:53,504
CHINATOWN, I PROMISE YOU.
>> BUT YOU DID COPY IT.
>> Stephen: I DID, I RIPPED A

870
00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:54,438
>> BUT YOU DID COPY IT.
>> Stephen: I DID, I RIPPED A
COPY.

871
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,606
>> Stephen: I DID, I RIPPED A
COPY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

872
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:57,208
COPY.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
THAT'S FOR YOU.

873
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:57,708
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
THAT'S FOR YOU.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

874
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,243
THAT'S FOR YOU.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, THAT'S GREAT.

875
00:22:59,245 --> 00:22:59,877
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, THAT'S GREAT.
>> Jon: YOU CAN TAKE THAT BACK.

876
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:00,478
OH, THAT'S GREAT.
>> Jon: YOU CAN TAKE THAT BACK.
>> I FEEL STRESSED BECAUSE NOW

877
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,379
>> Jon: YOU CAN TAKE THAT BACK.
>> I FEEL STRESSED BECAUSE NOW
THEY'RE GOING TO CALL ME.

878
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:02,012
>> I FEEL STRESSED BECAUSE NOW
THEY'RE GOING TO CALL ME.
>> Stephen: THEY LITERALLY SAID

879
00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:03,714
THEY'RE GOING TO CALL ME.
>> Stephen: THEY LITERALLY SAID
I WANT A VIDEOTAPE OF HIM

880
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,483
>> Stephen: THEY LITERALLY SAID
I WANT A VIDEOTAPE OF HIM
DESTROYING IT IF HE DOESN'T

881
00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:05,750
I WANT A VIDEOTAPE OF HIM
DESTROYING IT IF HE DOESN'T
RETURN IT.

882
00:23:05,752 --> 00:23:06,317
DESTROYING IT IF HE DOESN'T
RETURN IT.
>> WELL, HANDING IT TO ME IS

883
00:23:06,319 --> 00:23:07,651
RETURN IT.
>> WELL, HANDING IT TO ME IS
LIKE DESTROYING IT.

884
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:09,086
>> WELL, HANDING IT TO ME IS
LIKE DESTROYING IT.
>> Stephen: TELL ME ABOUT THE

885
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:09,653
LIKE DESTROYING IT.
>> Stephen: TELL ME ABOUT THE
DELAY, YOU DELAYED IT THREE

886
00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:11,255
>> Stephen: TELL ME ABOUT THE
DELAY, YOU DELAYED IT THREE
TIMES, RIGHT?

887
00:23:11,257 --> 00:23:12,056
DELAY, YOU DELAYED IT THREE
TIMES, RIGHT?
YOU KEPT THINKING IT WAS GOING

888
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:12,823
TIMES, RIGHT?
YOU KEPT THINKING IT WAS GOING
TO BE RELEASED.

889
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:13,424
YOU KEPT THINKING IT WAS GOING
TO BE RELEASED.
>> YES.

890
00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:16,260
TO BE RELEASED.
>> YES.
I'M EVER HOPEFUL.

891
00:23:16,262 --> 00:23:17,061
>> YES.
I'M EVER HOPEFUL.
I'M LIKE A SIX-YEAR-OLD

892
00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:17,695
I'M EVER HOPEFUL.
I'M LIKE A SIX-YEAR-OLD
OPTIMIST, LIKE, ARE THEY READY?

893
00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:19,663
I'M LIKE A SIX-YEAR-OLD
OPTIMIST, LIKE, ARE THEY READY?
NO.

894
00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:20,998
OPTIMIST, LIKE, ARE THEY READY?
NO.
OKAY, GREAT.

895
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:21,532
NO.
OKAY, GREAT.
AND THEN WE KEPT PUSHING.

896
00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:25,236
OKAY, GREAT.
AND THEN WE KEPT PUSHING.
IT WAS A BIZARRE THING BUT IT

897
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:25,836
AND THEN WE KEPT PUSHING.
IT WAS A BIZARRE THING BUT IT
WAS CLEARLY THE RIGHT THING TO

898
00:23:25,838 --> 00:23:27,872
IT WAS A BIZARRE THING BUT IT
WAS CLEARLY THE RIGHT THING TO
DO SO THAT, SORT OF, TAKES THE

899
00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:28,506
WAS CLEARLY THE RIGHT THING TO
DO SO THAT, SORT OF, TAKES THE
EMOTION OUT OF IT.

900
00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:29,440
DO SO THAT, SORT OF, TAKES THE
EMOTION OUT OF IT.
>> Stephen: I THINK THIS IS A

901
00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:30,508
EMOTION OUT OF IT.
>> Stephen: I THINK THIS IS A
PARTICULAR THE KIND OF FILM YOU

902
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:31,609
>> Stephen: I THINK THIS IS A
PARTICULAR THE KIND OF FILM YOU
WANT TO SEE IN A THEATER.

903
00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:33,411
PARTICULAR THE KIND OF FILM YOU
WANT TO SEE IN A THEATER.
>> I BELIEVE YOU HAVE TO.

904
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:36,080
WANT TO SEE IN A THEATER.
>> I BELIEVE YOU HAVE TO.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT GIVING

905
00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:37,448
>> I BELIEVE YOU HAVE TO.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT GIVING
ANYTHING AWAY WHEN I SAY THE

906
00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:40,184
>> Stephen: I'M NOT GIVING
ANYTHING AWAY WHEN I SAY THE
FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE

907
00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:41,452
ANYTHING AWAY WHEN I SAY THE
FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE
MIGHT BE THE MOST TERRIFYING AND

908
00:23:41,454 --> 00:23:42,820
FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE
MIGHT BE THE MOST TERRIFYING AND
NOTHING (<i> BLEEP</i> ) HAPPENS.

909
00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:43,421
MIGHT BE THE MOST TERRIFYING AND
NOTHING (<i> BLEEP</i> ) HAPPENS.
>> WOW, THAT'S THE BEST REVIEW

910
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:44,422
NOTHING (<i> BLEEP</i> ) HAPPENS.
>> WOW, THAT'S THE BEST REVIEW
EVER.

911
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:45,156
>> WOW, THAT'S THE BEST REVIEW
EVER.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE IT'S THE

912
00:23:45,158 --> 00:23:45,489
EVER.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE IT'S THE
SOUND DESIGN.

913
00:23:45,491 --> 00:23:46,757
>> Stephen: BECAUSE IT'S THE
SOUND DESIGN.
>> YEAH.

914
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:47,291
SOUND DESIGN.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT'S THE SOUND

915
00:23:47,293 --> 00:23:48,859
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT'S THE SOUND
DESIGN.

916
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:49,460
>> Stephen: IT'S THE SOUND
DESIGN.
EVERY TIME-- CAN I SAY WHAT

917
00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:51,195
DESIGN.
EVERY TIME-- CAN I SAY WHAT
HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING?

918
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:51,629
EVERY TIME-- CAN I SAY WHAT
HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING?
>> YES.

919
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:53,431
HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING?
>> YES.
>> Jon: THAT IT'S BEFORE--

920
00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:54,465
>> YES.
>> Jon: THAT IT'S BEFORE--
IT GOES TO BEFORE THE ACTUAL

921
00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:55,466
>> Jon: THAT IT'S BEFORE--
IT GOES TO BEFORE THE ACTUAL
ALIENS ACTUALLY GET THERE, SO

922
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:55,933
IT GOES TO BEFORE THE ACTUAL
ALIENS ACTUALLY GET THERE, SO
IT'S LEADING UP TO IT.

923
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,435
ALIENS ACTUALLY GET THERE, SO
IT'S LEADING UP TO IT.
SO IT'S JUST NORMAL LIFE.

924
00:23:57,437 --> 00:23:58,869
IT'S LEADING UP TO IT.
SO IT'S JUST NORMAL LIFE.
EVERY TIME SOMEBODY DOES THIS--

925
00:23:58,871 --> 00:23:59,403
SO IT'S JUST NORMAL LIFE.
EVERY TIME SOMEBODY DOES THIS--
(<i> CUP CLANKS ON DESK</i> )

926
00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:01,071
EVERY TIME SOMEBODY DOES THIS--
(<i> CUP CLANKS ON DESK</i> )
YOU GO WHAT THE (<i> BLEEP</i> ) YOU'RE

927
00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:01,405
(<i> CUP CLANKS ON DESK</i> )
YOU GO WHAT THE (<i> BLEEP</i> ) YOU'RE
DOING?

928
00:24:01,407 --> 00:24:01,772
YOU GO WHAT THE (<i> BLEEP</i> ) YOU'RE
DOING?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

929
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:04,208
DOING?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
PUT COTTON UNDERNEATH THAT!

930
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:05,476
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
PUT COTTON UNDERNEATH THAT!
IT'S FANTASTIC, I LOVE IT.

931
00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:07,611
PUT COTTON UNDERNEATH THAT!
IT'S FANTASTIC, I LOVE IT.
AND I LOVE HOW IT'S CONSCIOUS,

932
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,447
IT'S FANTASTIC, I LOVE IT.
AND I LOVE HOW IT'S CONSCIOUS,
LIKE, THOSE CHOICES YOU MADE OF

933
00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:11,148
AND I LOVE HOW IT'S CONSCIOUS,
LIKE, THOSE CHOICES YOU MADE OF
WHAT SOUNDS WE HEAR.

934
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:12,249
LIKE, THOSE CHOICES YOU MADE OF
WHAT SOUNDS WE HEAR.
WE WERE LIKE, EH, THE APPLE

935
00:24:12,251 --> 00:24:13,451
WHAT SOUNDS WE HEAR.
WE WERE LIKE, EH, THE APPLE
SHOULDN'T MAKE A SOUND BUT THE

936
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:13,751
WE WERE LIKE, EH, THE APPLE
SHOULDN'T MAKE A SOUND BUT THE
BAG SHOULD.

937
00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:14,919
SHOULDN'T MAKE A SOUND BUT THE
BAG SHOULD.
>> YEAH, AND WE GOT TO PLAY WITH

938
00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,387
BAG SHOULD.
>> YEAH, AND WE GOT TO PLAY WITH
ALL THAT.

939
00:24:16,389 --> 00:24:16,787
>> YEAH, AND WE GOT TO PLAY WITH
ALL THAT.
>> OH, IT'S GREAT.

940
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:17,455
ALL THAT.
>> OH, IT'S GREAT.
>> I JUST, I TWEAKED EVEN THE

941
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:19,657
>> OH, IT'S GREAT.
>> I JUST, I TWEAKED EVEN THE
APPLE BITE, JUST A LITTLE MORE.

942
00:24:19,659 --> 00:24:21,125
>> I JUST, I TWEAKED EVEN THE
APPLE BITE, JUST A LITTLE MORE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.

943
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:21,625
APPLE BITE, JUST A LITTLE MORE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> MAKE PEOPLE NERVOUS.

944
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:24,762
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> MAKE PEOPLE NERVOUS.
>> Stephen: WHAT I'M TRYING TO

945
00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:25,396
>> MAKE PEOPLE NERVOUS.
>> Stephen: WHAT I'M TRYING TO
SAY TO EVERYBODY AT HOME IS THIS

946
00:24:25,398 --> 00:24:25,963
>> Stephen: WHAT I'M TRYING TO
SAY TO EVERYBODY AT HOME IS THIS
MOVIE IS JUST AS GOOD ON THE

947
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:26,163
SAY TO EVERYBODY AT HOME IS THIS
MOVIE IS JUST AS GOOD ON THE
RADIO.

948
00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:27,932
MOVIE IS JUST AS GOOD ON THE
RADIO.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

949
00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:28,466
RADIO.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
IT THAT REALLY, VISUALLY--

950
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,033
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
IT THAT REALLY, VISUALLY--
>> NO, LISTEN, IT'S A RADIO

951
00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:31,669
IT THAT REALLY, VISUALLY--
>> NO, LISTEN, IT'S A RADIO
PLAY.

952
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:32,670
>> NO, LISTEN, IT'S A RADIO
PLAY.
WE MADE IT AS A RADIO PLAY, AND

953
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:33,404
PLAY.
WE MADE IT AS A RADIO PLAY, AND
THEN THEY SAID YOU SHOULD

954
00:24:33,406 --> 00:24:34,572
WE MADE IT AS A RADIO PLAY, AND
THEN THEY SAID YOU SHOULD
PROBABLY SHOOT IT.

955
00:24:34,574 --> 00:24:36,073
THEN THEY SAID YOU SHOULD
PROBABLY SHOOT IT.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE ACTUALLY BEEN

956
00:24:36,075 --> 00:24:37,441
PROBABLY SHOOT IT.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE ACTUALLY BEEN
DOING THIS THING I LOVE, IS THAT

957
00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:38,075
>> Stephen: YOU'VE ACTUALLY BEEN
DOING THIS THING I LOVE, IS THAT
YOU HAVE BEEN SURPRISING PEOPLE

958
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,944
DOING THIS THING I LOVE, IS THAT
YOU HAVE BEEN SURPRISING PEOPLE
IN THE THEATERS-- TO CELEBRATE.

959
00:24:39,946 --> 00:24:41,078
YOU HAVE BEEN SURPRISING PEOPLE
IN THE THEATERS-- TO CELEBRATE.
>> YES.

960
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:41,612
IN THE THEATERS-- TO CELEBRATE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: TO CELEBRATE.

961
00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:42,613
>> YES.
>> Stephen: TO CELEBRATE.
TO CELEBRATE COMING BACK TO THE

962
00:24:42,615 --> 00:24:43,647
>> Stephen: TO CELEBRATE.
TO CELEBRATE COMING BACK TO THE
THEATERS.

963
00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:45,449
TO CELEBRATE COMING BACK TO THE
THEATERS.
>> MY WHOLE THING IS NOW THAT

964
00:24:45,451 --> 00:24:47,852
THEATERS.
>> MY WHOLE THING IS NOW THAT
PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE, IT IS

965
00:24:47,854 --> 00:24:48,586
>> MY WHOLE THING IS NOW THAT
PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE, IT IS
SO EXCITING TO ME THAT PEOPLE

966
00:24:48,588 --> 00:24:49,420
PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE, IT IS
SO EXCITING TO ME THAT PEOPLE
ARE COMING BACK TO THE THEATERS.

967
00:24:49,422 --> 00:24:52,656
SO EXCITING TO ME THAT PEOPLE
ARE COMING BACK TO THE THEATERS.
YES, COME SEE MY MOVIE BUT GO

968
00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:53,457
ARE COMING BACK TO THE THEATERS.
YES, COME SEE MY MOVIE BUT GO
SEE ANY MOVIE.

969
00:24:53,459 --> 00:24:54,091
YES, COME SEE MY MOVIE BUT GO
SEE ANY MOVIE.
>> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE SOME

970
00:24:54,093 --> 00:24:54,725
SEE ANY MOVIE.
>> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE SOME
CLIPS OF YOU SURPRISING THE GOOD

971
00:24:54,727 --> 00:24:55,626
>> Stephen: I THINK WE HAVE SOME
CLIPS OF YOU SURPRISING THE GOOD
PEOPLE.

972
00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:56,794
CLIPS OF YOU SURPRISING THE GOOD
PEOPLE.
DO WE HAVE THOSE, JIM?

973
00:24:58,964 --> 00:25:00,831
>> ALL RIGHT, SO HERE'S THE
DEAL: I SAID I WAS GOING TO
BRING OUT "A QUIET PLACE PART

974
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:01,465
DEAL: I SAID I WAS GOING TO
BRING OUT "A QUIET PLACE PART
II" WHEN WE COULD ALL GO SEE IT

975
00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:02,266
BRING OUT "A QUIET PLACE PART
II" WHEN WE COULD ALL GO SEE IT
TOGETHER.

976
00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:03,467
II" WHEN WE COULD ALL GO SEE IT
TOGETHER.
WELL, GUESS WHAT!

977
00:25:03,469 --> 00:25:04,702
TOGETHER.
WELL, GUESS WHAT!
IT'S TIME, AND IT'S MIAMI.

978
00:25:04,704 --> 00:25:05,469
WELL, GUESS WHAT!
IT'S TIME, AND IT'S MIAMI.
LET'S GO!

979
00:25:05,471 --> 00:25:09,440
IT'S TIME, AND IT'S MIAMI.
LET'S GO!
(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> )

980
00:25:09,442 --> 00:25:11,208
LET'S GO!
(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> )
WHAT'S UP, MIAMI?

981
00:25:11,210 --> 00:25:12,443
(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> )
WHAT'S UP, MIAMI?
I'M GOING AROUND THEATERS ALL

982
00:25:12,445 --> 00:25:13,444
WHAT'S UP, MIAMI?
I'M GOING AROUND THEATERS ALL
ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

983
00:25:13,446 --> 00:25:14,578
I'M GOING AROUND THEATERS ALL
ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> )

984
00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:16,247
ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> )
POPPING IN LIKE THIS TO SAY

985
00:25:16,249 --> 00:25:17,448
(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> )
POPPING IN LIKE THIS TO SAY
THANK YOU.

986
00:25:17,450 --> 00:25:18,782
POPPING IN LIKE THIS TO SAY
THANK YOU.
HEY, CAN I GET IN THIS PICTURE?

987
00:25:18,784 --> 00:25:19,650
THANK YOU.
HEY, CAN I GET IN THIS PICTURE?
COME BACK TO THE THEATERS.

988
00:25:19,652 --> 00:25:20,885
HEY, CAN I GET IN THIS PICTURE?
COME BACK TO THE THEATERS.
LET'S WATCH MOVIES TOGETHER AND

989
00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:21,452
COME BACK TO THE THEATERS.
LET'S WATCH MOVIES TOGETHER AND
LET'S BE TOGETHER.

990
00:25:21,454 --> 00:25:24,021
LET'S WATCH MOVIES TOGETHER AND
LET'S BE TOGETHER.
LET'S DO IT!

991
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:24,522
LET'S BE TOGETHER.
LET'S DO IT!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

992
00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:25,422
LET'S DO IT!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
WHOO!

993
00:25:25,424 --> 00:25:27,558
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
WHOO!
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )

994
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,426
WHOO!
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
>> COME ON, GUYS.

995
00:25:29,428 --> 00:25:31,362
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
>> COME ON, GUYS.
I NEED A LITTLE--

996
00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:31,729
>> COME ON, GUYS.
I NEED A LITTLE--
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )

997
00:25:31,731 --> 00:25:33,297
I NEED A LITTLE--
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

998
00:25:33,299 --> 00:25:33,564
(<i> APPLAUSE</i> )
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.

999
00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:35,799
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
I AM SO THRILLED TO BE BACK IN

1000
00:25:35,801 --> 00:25:36,667
VERY MUCH.
I AM SO THRILLED TO BE BACK IN
THE THEATERS.

1001
00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:37,334
I AM SO THRILLED TO BE BACK IN
THE THEATERS.
I WAS JUST TOO EXCITED.

1002
00:25:37,336 --> 00:25:37,968
THE THEATERS.
I WAS JUST TOO EXCITED.
AND I WAS, LIKE, I'M GOING TO GO

1003
00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:39,670
I WAS JUST TOO EXCITED.
AND I WAS, LIKE, I'M GOING TO GO
ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO

1004
00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:40,304
AND I WAS, LIKE, I'M GOING TO GO
ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO
THEATERS ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

1005
00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:41,005
ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO
THEATERS ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
>> Stephen: AND DID YOU WEAR

1006
00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:41,472
THEATERS ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
>> Stephen: AND DID YOU WEAR
THAT SHIRT EVERYWHERE?

1007
00:25:41,474 --> 00:25:43,641
>> Stephen: AND DID YOU WEAR
THAT SHIRT EVERYWHERE?
>> I DO, I SLEEP IN IT.

1008
00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:45,409
THAT SHIRT EVERYWHERE?
>> I DO, I SLEEP IN IT.
BY THE WAY, IT'S SO FUNNY,

1009
00:25:45,411 --> 00:25:48,145
>> I DO, I SLEEP IN IT.
BY THE WAY, IT'S SO FUNNY,
SOMEBODY IN MIAMI SAID, WOW,

1010
00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:49,413
BY THE WAY, IT'S SO FUNNY,
SOMEBODY IN MIAMI SAID, WOW,
COOL, YOU'RE DRESSED FOR MIAMI.

1011
00:25:49,415 --> 00:25:50,047
SOMEBODY IN MIAMI SAID, WOW,
COOL, YOU'RE DRESSED FOR MIAMI.
AND I KIND OF WENT, I'M KIND OF

1012
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:50,881
COOL, YOU'RE DRESSED FOR MIAMI.
AND I KIND OF WENT, I'M KIND OF
DRESSED AS A BOSTON KID WHO

1013
00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:52,816
AND I KIND OF WENT, I'M KIND OF
DRESSED AS A BOSTON KID WHO
THINK THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DRESS

1014
00:25:52,818 --> 00:25:53,417
DRESSED AS A BOSTON KID WHO
THINK THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DRESS
LIKE IN MIAMI.

1015
00:25:53,419 --> 00:25:55,619
THINK THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DRESS
LIKE IN MIAMI.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS LIKE?

1016
00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:57,454
LIKE IN MIAMI.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS LIKE?
YOUR DARLING, TALENTED WIFE

1017
00:25:57,456 --> 00:25:59,423
>> Stephen: WHAT IS LIKE?
YOUR DARLING, TALENTED WIFE
EMILY IS SO GREAT IN THIS.

1018
00:25:59,425 --> 00:26:00,024
YOUR DARLING, TALENTED WIFE
EMILY IS SO GREAT IN THIS.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT AND I'LL

1019
00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:00,858
EMILY IS SO GREAT IN THIS.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT AND I'LL
TELL THE PEOPLE, I'LL SAY IT

1020
00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:01,425
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT AND I'LL
TELL THE PEOPLE, I'LL SAY IT
RIGHT TO THE CAMERA.

1021
00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:01,692
TELL THE PEOPLE, I'LL SAY IT
RIGHT TO THE CAMERA.
>> OKAY.

1022
00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:03,360
RIGHT TO THE CAMERA.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT ONLY ONE OF

1023
00:26:03,362 --> 00:26:05,262
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT ONLY ONE OF
THE MOST TERRIFYING MOVIES I'VE

1024
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:06,230
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT ONLY ONE OF
THE MOST TERRIFYING MOVIES I'VE
EVER SEEN, BUT-- IT<i> IS.</i>

1025
00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:07,631
THE MOST TERRIFYING MOVIES I'VE
EVER SEEN, BUT-- IT<i> IS.</i>
I DON'T DO THE JUMP SCARES AS

1026
00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:09,400
EVER SEEN, BUT-- IT<i> IS.</i>
I DON'T DO THE JUMP SCARES AS
WELL.

1027
00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:10,534
I DON'T DO THE JUMP SCARES AS
WELL.
AND WE MIGHT HAVE WATCHED SOME

1028
00:26:10,536 --> 00:26:11,035
WELL.
AND WE MIGHT HAVE WATCHED SOME
OF IT WITH A SOUND OFF.

1029
00:26:11,037 --> 00:26:13,037
AND WE MIGHT HAVE WATCHED SOME
OF IT WITH A SOUND OFF.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1030
00:26:13,039 --> 00:26:13,571
OF IT WITH A SOUND OFF.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
WE MIGHT HAVE MUTED A FEW

1031
00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:14,171
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
WE MIGHT HAVE MUTED A FEW
MOMENTS OF IT, YOU KNOW, AND I

1032
00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:20,244
WE MIGHT HAVE MUTED A FEW
MOMENTS OF IT, YOU KNOW, AND I
KNOW THAT'S--

1033
00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:20,811
MOMENTS OF IT, YOU KNOW, AND I
KNOW THAT'S--
>> THAT'S A HUGE COMPLIMENT.

1034
00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:21,178
KNOW THAT'S--
>> THAT'S A HUGE COMPLIMENT.
>> Stephen: YES.

1035
00:26:21,180 --> 00:26:21,412
>> THAT'S A HUGE COMPLIMENT.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> YEAH.

1036
00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:22,112
>> Stephen: YES.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT

1037
00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:22,613
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS FILM HAS?

1038
00:26:22,615 --> 00:26:24,315
>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS FILM HAS?
(<i> AS AN OLD MAN</i> )

1039
00:26:24,317 --> 00:26:24,815
THIS FILM HAS?
(<i> AS AN OLD MAN</i> )
IT'S GOT HEART.

1040
00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:25,416
(<i> AS AN OLD MAN</i> )
IT'S GOT HEART.
>> OH, THANK YOU.

1041
00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:26,617
IT'S GOT HEART.
>> OH, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: IT DOES, IT DOES.

1042
00:26:26,619 --> 00:26:27,985
>> OH, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: IT DOES, IT DOES.
IT IS ACTUALLY A DEEPLY MOVING

1043
00:26:27,987 --> 00:26:29,453
>> Stephen: IT DOES, IT DOES.
IT IS ACTUALLY A DEEPLY MOVING
STORY AT THE SAME TIME.

1044
00:26:29,455 --> 00:26:30,854
IT IS ACTUALLY A DEEPLY MOVING
STORY AT THE SAME TIME.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

1045
00:26:30,856 --> 00:26:31,655
STORY AT THE SAME TIME.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU MESH

1046
00:26:31,657 --> 00:26:33,457
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU MESH
THOSE TWO?

1047
00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:37,461
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU MESH
THOSE TWO?
I DON'T USUALLY ASSOCIATE DEEPLY

1048
00:26:37,463 --> 00:26:41,432
THOSE TWO?
I DON'T USUALLY ASSOCIATE DEEPLY
MOVING HUMAN STORY AND HORROR.

1049
00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:42,533
I DON'T USUALLY ASSOCIATE DEEPLY
MOVING HUMAN STORY AND HORROR.
>> YOU, KNOW, THE FUNNY THING IS

1050
00:26:42,535 --> 00:26:43,133
MOVING HUMAN STORY AND HORROR.
>> YOU, KNOW, THE FUNNY THING IS
I ACTUALLY LEARNED THAT LESSON

1051
00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:43,667
>> YOU, KNOW, THE FUNNY THING IS
I ACTUALLY LEARNED THAT LESSON
FROM GREG DANIELS IN "THE

1052
00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:43,901
I ACTUALLY LEARNED THAT LESSON
FROM GREG DANIELS IN "THE
OFFICE."

1053
00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:44,501
FROM GREG DANIELS IN "THE
OFFICE."
IT WAS, LIKE, THREE WEEKS INTO

1054
00:26:44,503 --> 00:26:45,035
OFFICE."
IT WAS, LIKE, THREE WEEKS INTO
THE SHOOTING AND I WAS SO

1055
00:26:45,037 --> 00:26:45,536
IT WAS, LIKE, THREE WEEKS INTO
THE SHOOTING AND I WAS SO
NERVOUS FOR THIS SCENE.

1056
00:26:45,538 --> 00:26:46,103
THE SHOOTING AND I WAS SO
NERVOUS FOR THIS SCENE.
AND HE SAID, CAN I ASK YOU A

1057
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:47,071
NERVOUS FOR THIS SCENE.
AND HE SAID, CAN I ASK YOU A
QUESTION-- YOU OKAY?

1058
00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:48,639
AND HE SAID, CAN I ASK YOU A
QUESTION-- YOU OKAY?
AND I SAID, YES, THIS IS MY

1059
00:26:48,641 --> 00:26:49,440
QUESTION-- YOU OKAY?
AND I SAID, YES, THIS IS MY
FAVORITE JOKES IN THE SCRIPT.

1060
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,741
AND I SAID, YES, THIS IS MY
FAVORITE JOKES IN THE SCRIPT.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE I DELIVER IT

1061
00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:51,075
FAVORITE JOKES IN THE SCRIPT.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE I DELIVER IT
REALLY FUNNY.

1062
00:26:51,077 --> 00:26:52,610
I WANT TO MAKE SURE I DELIVER IT
REALLY FUNNY.
HE SAID, WHOA, YOU DON'T DELIVER

1063
00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:53,444
REALLY FUNNY.
HE SAID, WHOA, YOU DON'T DELIVER
ANYTHING FUNNY.

1064
00:26:53,446 --> 00:26:54,011
HE SAID, WHOA, YOU DON'T DELIVER
ANYTHING FUNNY.
YOU JUST DELIVER IT, AND LET

1065
00:26:54,013 --> 00:26:54,878
ANYTHING FUNNY.
YOU JUST DELIVER IT, AND LET
PEOPLE DECIDE WHETHER IT'S FUNNY

1066
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:55,646
YOU JUST DELIVER IT, AND LET
PEOPLE DECIDE WHETHER IT'S FUNNY
OR NOT.

1067
00:26:55,648 --> 00:26:57,181
PEOPLE DECIDE WHETHER IT'S FUNNY
OR NOT.
I SAID OKAY.

1068
00:26:57,183 --> 00:26:57,748
OR NOT.
I SAID OKAY.
AND HE SAID, YOU JUST DO THE

1069
00:26:57,750 --> 00:26:58,382
I SAID OKAY.
AND HE SAID, YOU JUST DO THE
CHARACTER AND IF THEY'LL FALL IN

1070
00:26:58,384 --> 00:26:59,583
AND HE SAID, YOU JUST DO THE
CHARACTER AND IF THEY'LL FALL IN
LOVE WITH YOU, THEY'LL GO ON ANY

1071
00:26:59,585 --> 00:27:00,918
CHARACTER AND IF THEY'LL FALL IN
LOVE WITH YOU, THEY'LL GO ON ANY
RIDE.

1072
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:01,518
LOVE WITH YOU, THEY'LL GO ON ANY
RIDE.
AND I LITERALLY THOUGHT OF HIM

1073
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:02,119
RIDE.
AND I LITERALLY THOUGHT OF HIM
WHEN THEY SAID DIRECT A HORROR

1074
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,053
AND I LITERALLY THOUGHT OF HIM
WHEN THEY SAID DIRECT A HORROR
MOVIE.

1075
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:04,254
WHEN THEY SAID DIRECT A HORROR
MOVIE.
I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO

1076
00:27:04,256 --> 00:27:04,688
MOVIE.
I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
DO A HORROR MOVIE.

1077
00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:05,422
I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
DO A HORROR MOVIE.
SO INSTEAD, I JUST DID A FAMILY

1078
00:27:05,424 --> 00:27:07,625
DO A HORROR MOVIE.
SO INSTEAD, I JUST DID A FAMILY
DRAMA AND TROJAN HORSED AS A

1079
00:27:07,627 --> 00:27:08,559
SO INSTEAD, I JUST DID A FAMILY
DRAMA AND TROJAN HORSED AS A
HORROR MOVIE BECAUSE I THOUGHT

1080
00:27:08,561 --> 00:27:09,426
DRAMA AND TROJAN HORSED AS A
HORROR MOVIE BECAUSE I THOUGHT
YOU'LL BE MORE SCARED IF YOU

1081
00:27:09,428 --> 00:27:11,829
HORROR MOVIE BECAUSE I THOUGHT
YOU'LL BE MORE SCARED IF YOU
FALL IN LOVE WITH THESE

1082
00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:12,129
YOU'LL BE MORE SCARED IF YOU
FALL IN LOVE WITH THESE
CHARACTERS.

1083
00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:12,763
FALL IN LOVE WITH THESE
CHARACTERS.
>> Stephen: YOU DO, YOU ACTUALLY

1084
00:27:12,765 --> 00:27:14,298
CHARACTERS.
>> Stephen: YOU DO, YOU ACTUALLY
CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM.

1085
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,133
>> Stephen: YOU DO, YOU ACTUALLY
CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM.
>> YOU SAYING IT HAS HEART IS

1086
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:16,734
CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM.
>> YOU SAYING IT HAS HEART IS
THE BEST COMPLIMENT EVER.

1087
00:27:16,736 --> 00:27:17,368
>> YOU SAYING IT HAS HEART IS
THE BEST COMPLIMENT EVER.
>> Stephen: AND EMILY IS AMAZING

1088
00:27:17,370 --> 00:27:18,636
THE BEST COMPLIMENT EVER.
>> Stephen: AND EMILY IS AMAZING
IN THIS FILM.

1089
00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:19,670
>> Stephen: AND EMILY IS AMAZING
IN THIS FILM.
ALL THE ACTORS ARE GREAT, BUT

1090
00:27:19,672 --> 00:27:21,472
IN THIS FILM.
ALL THE ACTORS ARE GREAT, BUT
EMILY IS TRULY, YOU SEE

1091
00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:25,442
ALL THE ACTORS ARE GREAT, BUT
EMILY IS TRULY, YOU SEE
HORRIFIED, A MOTHER ABSOLUTELY

1092
00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:27,244
EMILY IS TRULY, YOU SEE
HORRIFIED, A MOTHER ABSOLUTELY
ON THE EDGE IN THIS.

1093
00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:27,845
HORRIFIED, A MOTHER ABSOLUTELY
ON THE EDGE IN THIS.
>> THE TRUTH IS, I THINK SHE'S

1094
00:27:27,847 --> 00:27:29,413
ON THE EDGE IN THIS.
>> THE TRUTH IS, I THINK SHE'S
THE MOST TALENTED ACTRESS WE

1095
00:27:29,415 --> 00:27:30,881
>> THE TRUTH IS, I THINK SHE'S
THE MOST TALENTED ACTRESS WE
HAVE.

1096
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:31,615
THE MOST TALENTED ACTRESS WE
HAVE.
I MEAN, SHE'S JUST THE MOST

1097
00:27:31,617 --> 00:27:33,050
HAVE.
I MEAN, SHE'S JUST THE MOST
UNBELIEVABLY TALENTED PERSON,

1098
00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:33,617
I MEAN, SHE'S JUST THE MOST
UNBELIEVABLY TALENTED PERSON,
BUT, ALSO, MORE THAN ACTING,

1099
00:27:33,619 --> 00:27:37,421
UNBELIEVABLY TALENTED PERSON,
BUT, ALSO, MORE THAN ACTING,
SHE'S JUST SUCH AN INCREDIBLE

1100
00:27:37,423 --> 00:27:39,690
BUT, ALSO, MORE THAN ACTING,
SHE'S JUST SUCH AN INCREDIBLE
PERSON TO HAVE ON SET.

1101
00:27:39,692 --> 00:27:40,324
SHE'S JUST SUCH AN INCREDIBLE
PERSON TO HAVE ON SET.
THE ENTIRE CREW, EVERYBODY WHO'S

1102
00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:40,924
PERSON TO HAVE ON SET.
THE ENTIRE CREW, EVERYBODY WHO'S
AROUND JUST LOVES IT MORE WHEN

1103
00:27:40,926 --> 00:27:41,425
THE ENTIRE CREW, EVERYBODY WHO'S
AROUND JUST LOVES IT MORE WHEN
SHE'S ON SET.

1104
00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:43,627
AROUND JUST LOVES IT MORE WHEN
SHE'S ON SET.
AND THEY'RE LIKE, IS SHE, IS

1105
00:27:43,629 --> 00:27:45,396
SHE'S ON SET.
AND THEY'RE LIKE, IS SHE, IS
SHE-- SHE'S NOT HERE TODAY?

1106
00:27:45,398 --> 00:27:48,165
AND THEY'RE LIKE, IS SHE, IS
SHE-- SHE'S NOT HERE TODAY?
IT'S GOING TO BE A DISASTER,

1107
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:48,365
SHE-- SHE'S NOT HERE TODAY?
IT'S GOING TO BE A DISASTER,
GUYS!

1108
00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:48,766
IT'S GOING TO BE A DISASTER,
GUYS!
OKAY, LET'S SHOOT.

1109
00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:49,433
GUYS!
OKAY, LET'S SHOOT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU SAY

1110
00:27:49,435 --> 00:27:51,468
OKAY, LET'S SHOOT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU SAY
AFTER, THERE'S A CRITICAL MOMENT

1111
00:27:51,470 --> 00:27:53,437
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU SAY
AFTER, THERE'S A CRITICAL MOMENT
WHERE THE CHILDREN DO THINGS,

1112
00:27:53,439 --> 00:27:54,438
AFTER, THERE'S A CRITICAL MOMENT
WHERE THE CHILDREN DO THINGS,
NEAR THE END OF THE FILM.

1113
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:54,805
WHERE THE CHILDREN DO THINGS,
NEAR THE END OF THE FILM.
>> YES.

1114
00:27:54,807 --> 00:27:55,639
NEAR THE END OF THE FILM.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: OKAY, AND WHAT DID

1115
00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:57,408
>> YES.
>> Stephen: OKAY, AND WHAT DID
YOU SAY?

1116
00:27:57,410 --> 00:27:59,810
>> Stephen: OKAY, AND WHAT DID
YOU SAY?
>> I SAID, JOHN REALLY LOVES HIS

1117
00:27:59,812 --> 00:28:00,310
YOU SAY?
>> I SAID, JOHN REALLY LOVES HIS
CHILDREN.

1118
00:28:00,312 --> 00:28:01,011
>> I SAID, JOHN REALLY LOVES HIS
CHILDREN.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1119
00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:01,412
CHILDREN.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> THAT'S AMAZING!

1120
00:28:01,414 --> 00:28:01,912
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> THAT'S AMAZING!
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT

1121
00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:02,546
>> THAT'S AMAZING!
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT
TELEGRAPHS, IS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE

1122
00:28:02,548 --> 00:28:05,482
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT
TELEGRAPHS, IS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE
YOUR KIDS.

1123
00:28:05,484 --> 00:28:08,385
TELEGRAPHS, IS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE
YOUR KIDS.
>> AS PSYCHOTIC AS IT SEEMS WHEN

1124
00:28:08,387 --> 00:28:08,986
YOUR KIDS.
>> AS PSYCHOTIC AS IT SEEMS WHEN
YOU LOOK AT THE POSTER, THESE

1125
00:28:08,988 --> 00:28:09,586
>> AS PSYCHOTIC AS IT SEEMS WHEN
YOU LOOK AT THE POSTER, THESE
MOVIES ARE A LOVE LETTER TO MY

1126
00:28:09,588 --> 00:28:09,887
YOU LOOK AT THE POSTER, THESE
MOVIES ARE A LOVE LETTER TO MY
KIDS.

1127
00:28:09,889 --> 00:28:10,487
MOVIES ARE A LOVE LETTER TO MY
KIDS.
>> NO, THEY ARE, IS.

1128
00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:11,522
KIDS.
>> NO, THEY ARE, IS.
>> Stephen: TOTALLY BELIEVE IT.

1129
00:28:11,524 --> 00:28:13,390
>> NO, THEY ARE, IS.
>> Stephen: TOTALLY BELIEVE IT.
>> YEAH, YEAH.

1130
00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:16,994
>> Stephen: TOTALLY BELIEVE IT.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: NOW, DURING

1131
00:28:16,996 --> 00:28:17,628
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: NOW, DURING
QUARANTINE, MANY PEOPLE INDULGED

1132
00:28:17,630 --> 00:28:19,663
>> Stephen: NOW, DURING
QUARANTINE, MANY PEOPLE INDULGED
THEMSELVES-- SELF-MEDICATED,

1133
00:28:19,665 --> 00:28:21,432
QUARANTINE, MANY PEOPLE INDULGED
THEMSELVES-- SELF-MEDICATED,
WHETHER IT BE ALCOHOL OR FUDGE.

1134
00:28:21,434 --> 00:28:25,402
THEMSELVES-- SELF-MEDICATED,
WHETHER IT BE ALCOHOL OR FUDGE.
>> I'LL TAKE ANOTHER ONE, BY THE

1135
00:28:25,404 --> 00:28:27,738
WHETHER IT BE ALCOHOL OR FUDGE.
>> I'LL TAKE ANOTHER ONE, BY THE
WAY.

1136
00:28:27,740 --> 00:28:28,305
>> I'LL TAKE ANOTHER ONE, BY THE
WAY.
>> Stephen: DID YOU-- I KNOW

1137
00:28:28,307 --> 00:28:28,939
WAY.
>> Stephen: DID YOU-- I KNOW
YOU'RE ALL JACK RYAN, LIKE, HARD

1138
00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:30,908
>> Stephen: DID YOU-- I KNOW
YOU'RE ALL JACK RYAN, LIKE, HARD
NOW.

1139
00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:31,475
YOU'RE ALL JACK RYAN, LIKE, HARD
NOW.
>> YEAH.

1140
00:28:31,477 --> 00:28:32,042
NOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID YOU LOSE IT

1141
00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:33,410
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID YOU LOSE IT
DURING QUARANTINE?

1142
00:28:33,412 --> 00:28:34,311
>> Stephen: DID YOU LOSE IT
DURING QUARANTINE?
>> OH, YEAH.

1143
00:28:34,313 --> 00:28:35,245
DURING QUARANTINE?
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID YOU BLOAT UP?

1144
00:28:35,247 --> 00:28:36,780
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID YOU BLOAT UP?
THERE WAS A MOMENT THERE WHERE

1145
00:28:36,782 --> 00:28:37,414
>> Stephen: DID YOU BLOAT UP?
THERE WAS A MOMENT THERE WHERE
WE WERE GOING TO SHOOT AND I

1146
00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:40,217
THERE WAS A MOMENT THERE WHERE
WE WERE GOING TO SHOOT AND I
SAID I'M TOTALLY READY TO SHOOT,

1147
00:28:40,219 --> 00:28:40,851
WE WERE GOING TO SHOOT AND I
SAID I'M TOTALLY READY TO SHOOT,
WE JUST NEED TO CHANGE THE NAME

1148
00:28:40,853 --> 00:28:41,485
SAID I'M TOTALLY READY TO SHOOT,
WE JUST NEED TO CHANGE THE NAME
OF THE SHOW TO FAT RYAN AND THEN

1149
00:28:41,487 --> 00:28:43,654
WE JUST NEED TO CHANGE THE NAME
OF THE SHOW TO FAT RYAN AND THEN
LET'S DO IT.

1150
00:28:43,656 --> 00:28:45,422
OF THE SHOW TO FAT RYAN AND THEN
LET'S DO IT.
I GOT ADDICTED TO WEIRD THINGS.

1151
00:28:45,424 --> 00:28:49,426
LET'S DO IT.
I GOT ADDICTED TO WEIRD THINGS.
DID YOU?

1152
00:28:49,428 --> 00:28:53,130
I GOT ADDICTED TO WEIRD THINGS.
DID YOU?
I WAS ADDICTED TO POPCORN.

1153
00:28:53,132 --> 00:28:53,697
DID YOU?
I WAS ADDICTED TO POPCORN.
MY KIDS HAD MOVIE MICROWAVE,

1154
00:28:53,699 --> 00:28:55,632
I WAS ADDICTED TO POPCORN.
MY KIDS HAD MOVIE MICROWAVE,
LIKE, MOVIE POPCORN AND THEY

1155
00:28:55,634 --> 00:28:56,200
MY KIDS HAD MOVIE MICROWAVE,
LIKE, MOVIE POPCORN AND THEY
LOVED IT AND SLOWLY THE TIME

1156
00:28:56,202 --> 00:28:57,000
LIKE, MOVIE POPCORN AND THEY
LOVED IT AND SLOWLY THE TIME
STARTED GETTING EARLIER AND

1157
00:28:57,002 --> 00:28:57,434
LOVED IT AND SLOWLY THE TIME
STARTED GETTING EARLIER AND
EARLIER.

1158
00:28:57,436 --> 00:29:00,070
STARTED GETTING EARLIER AND
EARLIER.
AT, LIKE, 9:00 A.M. AT BREAKFAST

1159
00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:01,438
EARLIER.
AT, LIKE, 9:00 A.M. AT BREAKFAST
I WAS, LIKE, ANYBODY WANT

1160
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,606
AT, LIKE, 9:00 A.M. AT BREAKFAST
I WAS, LIKE, ANYBODY WANT
POPCORN?

1161
00:29:02,608 --> 00:29:03,807
I WAS, LIKE, ANYBODY WANT
POPCORN?
AND EMILY WAS, LIKE, YOU HAVE TO

1162
00:29:03,809 --> 00:29:04,308
POPCORN?
AND EMILY WAS, LIKE, YOU HAVE TO
COOL IT ON THE POPCORN.

1163
00:29:04,310 --> 00:29:05,442
AND EMILY WAS, LIKE, YOU HAVE TO
COOL IT ON THE POPCORN.
YOU HAVE TO STOP MICROWAVING

1164
00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:07,044
COOL IT ON THE POPCORN.
YOU HAVE TO STOP MICROWAVING
POPCORN AT 9:00 A.M.

1165
00:29:07,046 --> 00:29:07,644
YOU HAVE TO STOP MICROWAVING
POPCORN AT 9:00 A.M.
>> Stephen: I HAVE THE SAME

1166
00:29:07,646 --> 00:29:09,213
POPCORN AT 9:00 A.M.
>> Stephen: I HAVE THE SAME
THING, BUT WITH VODKA.

1167
00:29:09,215 --> 00:29:09,446
>> Stephen: I HAVE THE SAME
THING, BUT WITH VODKA.
>> OH!

1168
00:29:09,448 --> 00:29:10,581
THING, BUT WITH VODKA.
>> OH!
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1169
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:11,815
>> OH!
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
AND YOU OFFERED IT TO YOUR

1170
00:29:11,817 --> 00:29:12,583
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
AND YOU OFFERED IT TO YOUR
CHILDREN?

1171
00:29:12,585 --> 00:29:13,417
AND YOU OFFERED IT TO YOUR
CHILDREN?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1172
00:29:13,419 --> 00:29:15,519
CHILDREN?
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: WELL, AN ESPRESSO

1173
00:29:15,521 --> 00:29:17,421
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: WELL, AN ESPRESSO
MARTINI REALLY STARTED FEELING

1174
00:29:17,423 --> 00:29:19,656
>> Stephen: WELL, AN ESPRESSO
MARTINI REALLY STARTED FEELING
GOOD FOR BREAKFAST.

1175
00:29:19,658 --> 00:29:21,458
MARTINI REALLY STARTED FEELING
GOOD FOR BREAKFAST.
I NEVER ACTUALLY BUT I WAS LIKE,

1176
00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:21,992
GOOD FOR BREAKFAST.
I NEVER ACTUALLY BUT I WAS LIKE,
HAND TO GOD, THAT WOULD BE

1177
00:29:21,994 --> 00:29:25,429
I NEVER ACTUALLY BUT I WAS LIKE,
HAND TO GOD, THAT WOULD BE
(<i> BLEEP</i> ) FANTASTIC.

1178
00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:28,866
HAND TO GOD, THAT WOULD BE
(<i> BLEEP</i> ) FANTASTIC.
WHAT AM I DOING?

1179
00:29:28,868 --> 00:29:29,500
(<i> BLEEP</i> ) FANTASTIC.
WHAT AM I DOING?
>> AND YOU'RE STILL GETTING THE

1180
00:29:29,502 --> 00:29:30,033
WHAT AM I DOING?
>> AND YOU'RE STILL GETTING THE
BENEFITS OF THE ESPRESSO.

1181
00:29:30,035 --> 00:29:31,535
>> AND YOU'RE STILL GETTING THE
BENEFITS OF THE ESPRESSO.
IT'S A MORNING DRINK.

1182
00:29:31,537 --> 00:29:32,102
BENEFITS OF THE ESPRESSO.
IT'S A MORNING DRINK.
>> Stephen: YOU GET ALL THE

1183
00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:33,103
IT'S A MORNING DRINK.
>> Stephen: YOU GET ALL THE
VITAMIN, VITAMIN-PRESSO...

1184
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:33,670
>> Stephen: YOU GET ALL THE
VITAMIN, VITAMIN-PRESSO...
>> AND THEN YOU PUT VODKA IN

1185
00:29:33,672 --> 00:29:35,773
VITAMIN, VITAMIN-PRESSO...
>> AND THEN YOU PUT VODKA IN
YOUR GREEN JUICE AND IT'S SO,

1186
00:29:35,775 --> 00:29:37,407
>> AND THEN YOU PUT VODKA IN
YOUR GREEN JUICE AND IT'S SO,
IT'S LIKE, THE HEALTHIEST.

1187
00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:38,709
YOUR GREEN JUICE AND IT'S SO,
IT'S LIKE, THE HEALTHIEST.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

1188
00:29:38,711 --> 00:29:39,343
IT'S LIKE, THE HEALTHIEST.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: WHAT IS GREEN JUICE?

1189
00:29:39,345 --> 00:29:40,577
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: WHAT IS GREEN JUICE?
>> IT IS JUICE, THAT IS GREEN.

1190
00:29:40,579 --> 00:29:41,411
>> Stephen: WHAT IS GREEN JUICE?
>> IT IS JUICE, THAT IS GREEN.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1191
00:29:41,413 --> 00:29:43,480
>> IT IS JUICE, THAT IS GREEN.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: OKAY.

1192
00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:44,114
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: OKAY.
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE A MOVIE STAR.

1193
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:46,283
>> Stephen: OKAY.
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE A MOVIE STAR.
>> YEP.

1194
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:47,317
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE A MOVIE STAR.
>> YEP.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A MOVIE STAR.

1195
00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:47,551
>> YEP.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A MOVIE STAR.
>> YEP.

1196
00:29:47,553 --> 00:29:48,152
>> Stephen: THAT'S A MOVIE STAR.
>> YEP.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A

1197
00:29:48,154 --> 00:29:48,452
>> YEP.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK.

1198
00:29:48,454 --> 00:29:48,919
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK.
BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE.

1199
00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:49,419
QUICK BREAK.
BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH

1200
00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:49,853
BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
MR. JOHN KRASINSKI.

1201
00:29:49,855 --> 00:29:53,657
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
MR. JOHN KRASINSKI.
♪ 7 ♪

1202
00:30:03,568 --> 00:30:07,070
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH JOHN

1203
00:30:07,072 --> 00:30:07,471
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH JOHN
KRASINSKI.

1204
00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:08,772
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH JOHN
KRASINSKI.
JOHN, IT'S REALLY LOVELY TO HAVE

1205
00:30:08,774 --> 00:30:09,640
KRASINSKI.
JOHN, IT'S REALLY LOVELY TO HAVE
YOU HERE.

1206
00:30:09,642 --> 00:30:11,508
JOHN, IT'S REALLY LOVELY TO HAVE
YOU HERE.
>> IT IS GENUINELY AN HONOR TO

1207
00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:14,077
YOU HERE.
>> IT IS GENUINELY AN HONOR TO
BE YOUR FIRST GUEST.

1208
00:30:14,079 --> 00:30:14,611
>> IT IS GENUINELY AN HONOR TO
BE YOUR FIRST GUEST.
I HAVE TO SAY THAT.

1209
00:30:14,613 --> 00:30:15,512
BE YOUR FIRST GUEST.
I HAVE TO SAY THAT.
>> Stephen: WELL, IT'S--

1210
00:30:15,514 --> 00:30:15,913
I HAVE TO SAY THAT.
>> Stephen: WELL, IT'S--
I'M GLAD.

1211
00:30:15,915 --> 00:30:16,346
>> Stephen: WELL, IT'S--
I'M GLAD.
>> FIRST LIVE GUEST.

1212
00:30:16,348 --> 00:30:17,314
I'M GLAD.
>> FIRST LIVE GUEST.
>> Stephen: FIRST LIVE GUEST,

1213
00:30:17,316 --> 00:30:19,483
>> FIRST LIVE GUEST.
>> Stephen: FIRST LIVE GUEST,
EXACTLY.

1214
00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:21,718
>> Stephen: FIRST LIVE GUEST,
EXACTLY.
AND I'M GLAD IT'S YOU BECAUSE

1215
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,487
EXACTLY.
AND I'M GLAD IT'S YOU BECAUSE
YOU'RE A FRIEND AND I'M

1216
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:25,255
AND I'M GLAD IT'S YOU BECAUSE
YOU'RE A FRIEND AND I'M
COMFORTABLE WITH YOU.

1217
00:30:25,257 --> 00:30:25,689
YOU'RE A FRIEND AND I'M
COMFORTABLE WITH YOU.
>> THAT MEANS A LOT.

1218
00:30:25,691 --> 00:30:26,323
COMFORTABLE WITH YOU.
>> THAT MEANS A LOT.
YOU'VE NEVER CALLED ME A FRIEND

1219
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:26,590
>> THAT MEANS A LOT.
YOU'VE NEVER CALLED ME A FRIEND
IN PUBLIC.

1220
00:30:26,592 --> 00:30:27,057
YOU'VE NEVER CALLED ME A FRIEND
IN PUBLIC.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

1221
00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:27,624
IN PUBLIC.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: THAT IS THE ONLY

1222
00:30:27,626 --> 00:30:28,325
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: THAT IS THE ONLY
PLACE I<i> WOULD</i> CALL YOU A FRIEND,

1223
00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:29,193
>> Stephen: THAT IS THE ONLY
PLACE I<i> WOULD</i> CALL YOU A FRIEND,
BECAUSE THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS,

1224
00:30:29,195 --> 00:30:29,760
PLACE I<i> WOULD</i> CALL YOU A FRIEND,
BECAUSE THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS,
BABY, AND IN PRIVATE DOESN'T

1225
00:30:29,762 --> 00:30:31,495
BECAUSE THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS,
BABY, AND IN PRIVATE DOESN'T
GIVE ME ANY JUICE.

1226
00:30:31,497 --> 00:30:33,730
BABY, AND IN PRIVATE DOESN'T
GIVE ME ANY JUICE.
>> THAT'S TRUE, THAT'S TRUE.

1227
00:30:33,732 --> 00:30:35,465
GIVE ME ANY JUICE.
>> THAT'S TRUE, THAT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: ONE OF THE REASONS

1228
00:30:35,467 --> 00:30:38,168
>> THAT'S TRUE, THAT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: ONE OF THE REASONS
I'D LIKE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH

1229
00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:39,469
>> Stephen: ONE OF THE REASONS
I'D LIKE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH
YOU IS TO GET TO KNOW YOU

1230
00:30:39,471 --> 00:30:42,439
I'D LIKE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH
YOU IS TO GET TO KNOW YOU
BETTER, BECAUSE EVEN WHEN WE

1231
00:30:42,441 --> 00:30:43,507
YOU IS TO GET TO KNOW YOU
BETTER, BECAUSE EVEN WHEN WE
SPEND TIME LIKE THIS, AND WE

1232
00:30:43,509 --> 00:30:45,742
BETTER, BECAUSE EVEN WHEN WE
SPEND TIME LIKE THIS, AND WE
EXCHANGE EMAILS EVER SO OFTEN,

1233
00:30:45,744 --> 00:30:47,477
SPEND TIME LIKE THIS, AND WE
EXCHANGE EMAILS EVER SO OFTEN,
IT'S HARD TO REALLY PLUMB THE

1234
00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:48,078
EXCHANGE EMAILS EVER SO OFTEN,
IT'S HARD TO REALLY PLUMB THE
DEPTHS OF SOMEBODY IN THE TIME

1235
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:48,645
IT'S HARD TO REALLY PLUMB THE
DEPTHS OF SOMEBODY IN THE TIME
WE HAVE TO TALK ON THE SHOW,

1236
00:30:48,647 --> 00:30:49,112
DEPTHS OF SOMEBODY IN THE TIME
WE HAVE TO TALK ON THE SHOW,
IT'S JUST NOT THERE.

1237
00:30:49,114 --> 00:30:49,713
WE HAVE TO TALK ON THE SHOW,
IT'S JUST NOT THERE.
SO WHAT I LIKE TO DO AND WHAT

1238
00:30:49,715 --> 00:30:50,314
IT'S JUST NOT THERE.
SO WHAT I LIKE TO DO AND WHAT
THE TEAM OF SCIENTISTS AT "THE

1239
00:30:50,316 --> 00:30:51,248
SO WHAT I LIKE TO DO AND WHAT
THE TEAM OF SCIENTISTS AT "THE
LATE SHOW" HAVE FIGURED OUT.

1240
00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:51,882
THE TEAM OF SCIENTISTS AT "THE
LATE SHOW" HAVE FIGURED OUT.
THEY'VE FIGURED OUT 13 QUESTIONS

1241
00:30:51,884 --> 00:30:53,483
LATE SHOW" HAVE FIGURED OUT.
THEY'VE FIGURED OUT 13 QUESTIONS
THAT GO STRAIGHT TO THE HEART OF

1242
00:30:53,485 --> 00:30:55,085
THEY'VE FIGURED OUT 13 QUESTIONS
THAT GO STRAIGHT TO THE HEART OF
SOMEONE AND ALLOW THEM TO BE

1243
00:30:55,087 --> 00:30:55,619
THAT GO STRAIGHT TO THE HEART OF
SOMEONE AND ALLOW THEM TO BE
KNOWN IN A FULL WAY, OKAY?

1244
00:30:55,621 --> 00:30:57,721
SOMEONE AND ALLOW THEM TO BE
KNOWN IN A FULL WAY, OKAY?
>> OH, WOW.

1245
00:30:57,723 --> 00:30:59,256
KNOWN IN A FULL WAY, OKAY?
>> OH, WOW.
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED THE

1246
00:30:59,258 --> 00:30:59,756
>> OH, WOW.
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED THE
"COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."

1247
00:30:59,758 --> 00:31:02,426
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED THE
"COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."
JOHN KRASINSKI, HAVE THE COURAGE

1248
00:31:02,428 --> 00:31:02,759
"COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."
JOHN KRASINSKI, HAVE THE COURAGE
TO FACE IT?

1249
00:31:02,761 --> 00:31:03,460
JOHN KRASINSKI, HAVE THE COURAGE
TO FACE IT?
>> LET'S DO IT.

1250
00:31:03,462 --> 00:31:05,362
TO FACE IT?
>> LET'S DO IT.
♪ ♪ ♪

1251
00:31:09,667 --> 00:31:16,173
FIRST QUESTION, JOHN KRASINSKI,
WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH?
>> MEATBALL SUB.

1252
00:31:16,175 --> 00:31:17,674
WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH?
>> MEATBALL SUB.
WOW, I JUST GOT JUDGED.

1253
00:31:17,676 --> 00:31:18,141
>> MEATBALL SUB.
WOW, I JUST GOT JUDGED.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

1254
00:31:18,143 --> 00:31:18,709
WOW, I JUST GOT JUDGED.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
IS THAT WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN

1255
00:31:18,711 --> 00:31:19,443
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
IS THAT WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN
YOU'RE JUDGED?

1256
00:31:19,445 --> 00:31:21,011
IS THAT WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN
YOU'RE JUDGED?
IT IS.

1257
00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:21,378
YOU'RE JUDGED?
IT IS.
OKAY, COPY THAT.

1258
00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:21,912
IT IS.
OKAY, COPY THAT.
YOU CAN GET A MEATBALL SUB

1259
00:31:21,914 --> 00:31:23,480
OKAY, COPY THAT.
YOU CAN GET A MEATBALL SUB
ANYWHERE, ANYTIME AND THEY'RE

1260
00:31:23,482 --> 00:31:25,515
YOU CAN GET A MEATBALL SUB
ANYWHERE, ANYTIME AND THEY'RE
DELICIOUS.

1261
00:31:25,517 --> 00:31:26,149
ANYWHERE, ANYTIME AND THEY'RE
DELICIOUS.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE ONE THING

1262
00:31:26,151 --> 00:31:28,452
DELICIOUS.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE ONE THING
YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?

1263
00:31:28,454 --> 00:31:29,386
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE ONE THING
YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?
WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU<i> OWN</i>

1264
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,287
YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?
WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU<i> OWN</i>
THAT YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW

1265
00:31:30,289 --> 00:31:31,355
WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU<i> OWN</i>
THAT YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW
OUT?

1266
00:31:31,357 --> 00:31:31,655
THAT YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW
OUT?
>> OH, MAN.

1267
00:31:31,657 --> 00:31:33,690
OUT?
>> OH, MAN.
ACCORDING TO ME OR MY WIFE?

1268
00:31:33,692 --> 00:31:35,492
>> OH, MAN.
ACCORDING TO ME OR MY WIFE?
>> Stephen: ACCORDING TO WHOEVER

1269
00:31:35,494 --> 00:31:36,660
ACCORDING TO ME OR MY WIFE?
>> Stephen: ACCORDING TO WHOEVER
MAKES THE CALLS.

1270
00:31:36,662 --> 00:31:39,496
>> Stephen: ACCORDING TO WHOEVER
MAKES THE CALLS.
>> MY WIFE.

1271
00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:40,764
MAKES THE CALLS.
>> MY WIFE.
THERE IS A CELTIC SHIRT THAT I

1272
00:31:40,766 --> 00:31:41,298
>> MY WIFE.
THERE IS A CELTIC SHIRT THAT I
HAD IN COLLEGE--

1273
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:41,832
THERE IS A CELTIC SHIRT THAT I
HAD IN COLLEGE--
>> OH, BOY.

1274
00:31:41,834 --> 00:31:43,433
HAD IN COLLEGE--
>> OH, BOY.
>> YUP.

1275
00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:45,736
>> OH, BOY.
>> YUP.
IT'S HAS, ALMOST LIKE A PLASTIC

1276
00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:46,970
>> YUP.
IT'S HAS, ALMOST LIKE A PLASTIC
FILM UNDER HERE.

1277
00:31:46,972 --> 00:31:47,504
IT'S HAS, ALMOST LIKE A PLASTIC
FILM UNDER HERE.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

1278
00:31:47,506 --> 00:31:48,038
FILM UNDER HERE.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.

1279
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:48,572
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> AND FOR SOME REASON THE

1280
00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:51,475
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> AND FOR SOME REASON THE
WASHING MACHINE HAS LET ME DOWN

1281
00:31:51,477 --> 00:31:54,511
>> AND FOR SOME REASON THE
WASHING MACHINE HAS LET ME DOWN
IN THE LAST 376 WASHES AND IT

1282
00:31:54,513 --> 00:31:55,479
WASHING MACHINE HAS LET ME DOWN
IN THE LAST 376 WASHES AND IT
JUST STAYS PLASTICKY.

1283
00:31:55,481 --> 00:31:57,714
IN THE LAST 376 WASHES AND IT
JUST STAYS PLASTICKY.
AND SHE'S LIKE, PLEASE...

1284
00:31:57,716 --> 00:31:58,715
JUST STAYS PLASTICKY.
AND SHE'S LIKE, PLEASE...
SHOOT IT.

1285
00:31:58,717 --> 00:31:59,516
AND SHE'S LIKE, PLEASE...
SHOOT IT.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD FRAME IT.

1286
00:31:59,518 --> 00:32:01,985
SHOOT IT.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD FRAME IT.
>> IT'S FRAMING ITSELF.

1287
00:32:01,987 --> 00:32:02,519
>> Stephen: YOU COULD FRAME IT.
>> IT'S FRAMING ITSELF.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1288
00:32:02,521 --> 00:32:03,453
>> IT'S FRAMING ITSELF.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST

1289
00:32:03,455 --> 00:32:03,720
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST
ANIMAL?

1290
00:32:03,722 --> 00:32:07,524
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST
ANIMAL?
>> CROCODILE.

1291
00:32:07,526 --> 00:32:09,760
ANIMAL?
>> CROCODILE.
ANYTHING THAT HAS THE TERM

1292
00:32:09,762 --> 00:32:10,494
>> CROCODILE.
ANYTHING THAT HAS THE TERM
"DEATH ROLL" IN YOUR--

1293
00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:11,495
ANYTHING THAT HAS THE TERM
"DEATH ROLL" IN YOUR--
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.

1294
00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:12,629
"DEATH ROLL" IN YOUR--
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
(<i> WA-WA-WA-WA-WA</i> )

1295
00:32:12,631 --> 00:32:14,331
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
(<i> WA-WA-WA-WA-WA</i> )
>> YEAH, NOT ONLY, THE BITE'S

1296
00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:15,465
(<i> WA-WA-WA-WA-WA</i> )
>> YEAH, NOT ONLY, THE BITE'S
NOT BAD ENOUGH.

1297
00:32:15,467 --> 00:32:16,400
>> YEAH, NOT ONLY, THE BITE'S
NOT BAD ENOUGH.
THEN YOU HAVE TO ROLL ME INTO--

1298
00:32:16,402 --> 00:32:17,467
NOT BAD ENOUGH.
THEN YOU HAVE TO ROLL ME INTO--
>> Stephen: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF

1299
00:32:17,469 --> 00:32:18,168
THEN YOU HAVE TO ROLL ME INTO--
>> Stephen: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF
A CROCODILE GRABS YOU AND IS

1300
00:32:18,170 --> 00:32:19,169
>> Stephen: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF
A CROCODILE GRABS YOU AND IS
DRAGGING YOU TOWARDS THE WATER?

1301
00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:19,569
A CROCODILE GRABS YOU AND IS
DRAGGING YOU TOWARDS THE WATER?
WHAT'S YOUR PLAY?

1302
00:32:19,571 --> 00:32:21,738
DRAGGING YOU TOWARDS THE WATER?
WHAT'S YOUR PLAY?
>> I PLAY "WHAT WOULD YOU DO"

1303
00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:23,507
WHAT'S YOUR PLAY?
>> I PLAY "WHAT WOULD YOU DO"
ALL THE TIME, AND I THINK WOULD

1304
00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:24,341
>> I PLAY "WHAT WOULD YOU DO"
ALL THE TIME, AND I THINK WOULD
JUST GENUINELY YELL "NO."

1305
00:32:24,343 --> 00:32:25,475
ALL THE TIME, AND I THINK WOULD
JUST GENUINELY YELL "NO."
NO!

1306
00:32:25,477 --> 00:32:26,243
JUST GENUINELY YELL "NO."
NO!
NO!

1307
00:32:26,245 --> 00:32:27,477
NO!
NO!
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1308
00:32:27,479 --> 00:32:30,380
NO!
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> I WOULD.

1309
00:32:30,382 --> 00:32:30,948
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
>> I WOULD.
>> Stephen: GO FOR THE EYES.

1310
00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:31,481
>> I WOULD.
>> Stephen: GO FOR THE EYES.
THUMBS FOR EYES.

1311
00:32:31,483 --> 00:32:32,783
>> Stephen: GO FOR THE EYES.
THUMBS FOR EYES.
>> YUP.

1312
00:32:32,785 --> 00:32:33,583
THUMBS FOR EYES.
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: OKAY, APPLES OR

1313
00:32:33,585 --> 00:32:33,817
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: OKAY, APPLES OR
ORANGES?

1314
00:32:33,819 --> 00:32:35,519
>> Stephen: OKAY, APPLES OR
ORANGES?
>> APPLES.

1315
00:32:35,521 --> 00:32:36,453
ORANGES?
>> APPLES.
>> Stephen: CAN'T PUT PEANUT

1316
00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:36,887
>> APPLES.
>> Stephen: CAN'T PUT PEANUT
BUTTER ON AN ORANGE.

1317
00:32:36,889 --> 00:32:37,521
>> Stephen: CAN'T PUT PEANUT
BUTTER ON AN ORANGE.
>> SORRY, IS THIS THE FIRST ONE

1318
00:32:37,523 --> 00:32:38,221
BUTTER ON AN ORANGE.
>> SORRY, IS THIS THE FIRST ONE
I'VE GOTTEN RIGHT?

1319
00:32:38,223 --> 00:32:38,889
>> SORRY, IS THIS THE FIRST ONE
I'VE GOTTEN RIGHT?
>> Stephen: WHAT?

1320
00:32:38,891 --> 00:32:39,489
I'VE GOTTEN RIGHT?
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU THINK

1321
00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:40,057
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU THINK
THIS IS THE FIRST ONE I GOT

1322
00:32:40,059 --> 00:32:41,191
>> I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU THINK
THIS IS THE FIRST ONE I GOT
RIGHT.

1323
00:32:41,193 --> 00:32:41,758
THIS IS THE FIRST ONE I GOT
RIGHT.
THE OTHER ONES WERE HIGH

1324
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:42,526
RIGHT.
THE OTHER ONES WERE HIGH
JUDGMENT.

1325
00:32:42,528 --> 00:32:43,427
THE OTHER ONES WERE HIGH
JUDGMENT.
IS, DID I--

1326
00:32:43,429 --> 00:32:43,827
JUDGMENT.
IS, DID I--
>> Stephen: WHAT?

1327
00:32:43,829 --> 00:32:46,863
IS, DID I--
>> Stephen: WHAT?
WELL, THIS IS, THIS IS A BINARY

1328
00:32:46,865 --> 00:32:47,297
>> Stephen: WHAT?
WELL, THIS IS, THIS IS A BINARY
CHOICE.

1329
00:32:47,299 --> 00:32:47,531
WELL, THIS IS, THIS IS A BINARY
CHOICE.
>> YES.

1330
00:32:47,533 --> 00:32:49,666
CHOICE.
>> YES.
>> FOR US.

1331
00:32:49,668 --> 00:32:50,267
>> YES.
>> FOR US.
>> Stephen: BUT IT'S A BINARY

1332
00:32:50,269 --> 00:32:50,567
>> FOR US.
>> Stephen: BUT IT'S A BINARY
CHOICE.

1333
00:32:50,569 --> 00:32:51,301
>> Stephen: BUT IT'S A BINARY
CHOICE.
>> BUT YOU HAVE YOUR OPINIONS

1334
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:51,635
CHOICE.
>> BUT YOU HAVE YOUR OPINIONS
ABOUT THINGS.

1335
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:53,036
>> BUT YOU HAVE YOUR OPINIONS
ABOUT THINGS.
LIKE, MEATBALL SUBS.

1336
00:32:53,038 --> 00:32:53,637
ABOUT THINGS.
LIKE, MEATBALL SUBS.
>> Stephen: WELL, I KNOW WHAT

1337
00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:54,338
LIKE, MEATBALL SUBS.
>> Stephen: WELL, I KNOW WHAT
THE RIGHT ANSWER IS.

1338
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:54,705
>> Stephen: WELL, I KNOW WHAT
THE RIGHT ANSWER IS.
NOT MY OPINION.

1339
00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:55,472
THE RIGHT ANSWER IS.
NOT MY OPINION.
I KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT ANSWER IS.

1340
00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:57,708
NOT MY OPINION.
I KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT ANSWER IS.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1341
00:32:57,710 --> 00:32:58,342
I KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT ANSWER IS.
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
I KNOW WHAT ALL THE ANSWERS ARE.

1342
00:32:58,344 --> 00:32:58,875
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
I KNOW WHAT ALL THE ANSWERS ARE.
BUT YOUR ANSWERS HAVE BEEN

1343
00:32:58,877 --> 00:32:59,509
I KNOW WHAT ALL THE ANSWERS ARE.
BUT YOUR ANSWERS HAVE BEEN
GREAT.

1344
00:32:59,511 --> 00:32:59,977
BUT YOUR ANSWERS HAVE BEEN
GREAT.
>> THANK YOU.

1345
00:32:59,979 --> 00:33:00,544
GREAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THEY'RE

1346
00:33:00,546 --> 00:33:01,411
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THEY'RE
COMING FROM THE HEART.

1347
00:33:01,413 --> 00:33:02,713
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THEY'RE
COMING FROM THE HEART.
HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR

1348
00:33:02,715 --> 00:33:03,480
COMING FROM THE HEART.
HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR
THEIR AUTOGRAPH?

1349
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:06,817
HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR
THEIR AUTOGRAPH?
>> OH, YEAH.

1350
00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:07,517
THEIR AUTOGRAPH?
>> OH, YEAH.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID, MY DAD

1351
00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:09,686
>> OH, YEAH.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID, MY DAD
WAS A DOCTOR AND HE ACTUALLY

1352
00:33:09,688 --> 00:33:11,355
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID, MY DAD
WAS A DOCTOR AND HE ACTUALLY
KNEW THE DOCTOR OF THE RED SOX,

1353
00:33:11,357 --> 00:33:11,922
WAS A DOCTOR AND HE ACTUALLY
KNEW THE DOCTOR OF THE RED SOX,
AND SO I GOT TO ONCE GO DOWN

1354
00:33:11,924 --> 00:33:15,525
KNEW THE DOCTOR OF THE RED SOX,
AND SO I GOT TO ONCE GO DOWN
THERE AND MEET MY HERO AT THE

1355
00:33:15,527 --> 00:33:17,194
AND SO I GOT TO ONCE GO DOWN
THERE AND MEET MY HERO AT THE
TIME WAS KIRBY PUCKETT FROM THE

1356
00:33:17,196 --> 00:33:19,129
THERE AND MEET MY HERO AT THE
TIME WAS KIRBY PUCKETT FROM THE
MINNESOTA TWINS.

1357
00:33:19,131 --> 00:33:19,596
TIME WAS KIRBY PUCKETT FROM THE
MINNESOTA TWINS.
AND HE WAS VERY NICE.

1358
00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:21,732
MINNESOTA TWINS.
AND HE WAS VERY NICE.
>> Stephen: I HAVE ASKED THIS TO

1359
00:33:21,734 --> 00:33:23,500
AND HE WAS VERY NICE.
>> Stephen: I HAVE ASKED THIS TO
YOUR HANKSES, YOUR CLOONEYS, AND

1360
00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,369
>> Stephen: I HAVE ASKED THIS TO
YOUR HANKSES, YOUR CLOONEYS, AND
IT'S BASEBALL PLAYERS, THAT'S

1361
00:33:25,371 --> 00:33:25,936
YOUR HANKSES, YOUR CLOONEYS, AND
IT'S BASEBALL PLAYERS, THAT'S
WHO I GET.

1362
00:33:25,938 --> 00:33:26,203
IT'S BASEBALL PLAYERS, THAT'S
WHO I GET.
>> REALLY?

1363
00:33:26,205 --> 00:33:27,471
WHO I GET.
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: IT'S MOSTLY BASEBALL

1364
00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:27,971
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: IT'S MOSTLY BASEBALL
PLAYERS.

1365
00:33:27,973 --> 00:33:28,572
>> Stephen: IT'S MOSTLY BASEBALL
PLAYERS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN

1366
00:33:28,574 --> 00:33:31,508
PLAYERS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN
WE DIE?

1367
00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:33,710
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN
WE DIE?
>> I HOPE IT'S GREAT.

1368
00:33:33,712 --> 00:33:34,911
WE DIE?
>> I HOPE IT'S GREAT.
OKAY?

1369
00:33:34,913 --> 00:33:35,545
>> I HOPE IT'S GREAT.
OKAY?
>> Stephen: WHATEVER IT IS, YOU

1370
00:33:35,547 --> 00:33:36,913
OKAY?
>> Stephen: WHATEVER IT IS, YOU
HOPE IT'S GREAT.

1371
00:33:36,915 --> 00:33:39,483
>> Stephen: WHATEVER IT IS, YOU
HOPE IT'S GREAT.
>> I THINK THERE'S DEFINITELY

1372
00:33:39,485 --> 00:33:40,917
HOPE IT'S GREAT.
>> I THINK THERE'S DEFINITELY
SOMETHING WAITING FOR US.

1373
00:33:40,919 --> 00:33:41,485
>> I THINK THERE'S DEFINITELY
SOMETHING WAITING FOR US.
>> Stephen: FAVORITE ACTION

1374
00:33:41,487 --> 00:33:43,520
SOMETHING WAITING FOR US.
>> Stephen: FAVORITE ACTION
MOVIE?

1375
00:33:43,522 --> 00:33:45,389
>> Stephen: FAVORITE ACTION
MOVIE?
>> OH, MAN "THE DARK KNIGHT."

1376
00:33:45,391 --> 00:33:45,822
MOVIE?
>> OH, MAN "THE DARK KNIGHT."
>> Stephen: NOT BAD.

1377
00:33:45,824 --> 00:33:47,357
>> OH, MAN "THE DARK KNIGHT."
>> Stephen: NOT BAD.
>> "THE DARK KNIGHT."

1378
00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:51,495
>> Stephen: NOT BAD.
>> "THE DARK KNIGHT."
>> Braude: FAVORITE SMELL?

1379
00:33:51,497 --> 00:33:53,897
>> "THE DARK KNIGHT."
>> Braude: FAVORITE SMELL?
>> BABY'S HAIR.

1380
00:33:53,899 --> 00:33:54,531
>> Braude: FAVORITE SMELL?
>> BABY'S HAIR.
THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT SMELL WHEN

1381
00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:55,298
>> BABY'S HAIR.
THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT SMELL WHEN
THEY'RE THAT YOUNG.

1382
00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:55,532
THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT SMELL WHEN
THEY'RE THAT YOUNG.
>> YES.

1383
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:55,932
THEY'RE THAT YOUNG.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: SURE.

1384
00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:56,600
>> YES.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> YEAH.

1385
00:33:56,602 --> 00:33:57,234
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: LEAST FAVORITE

1386
00:33:57,236 --> 00:33:57,701
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: LEAST FAVORITE
SMELL.

1387
00:33:57,703 --> 00:34:00,704
>> Stephen: LEAST FAVORITE
SMELL.
>> BABY'S POOP.

1388
00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:01,605
SMELL.
>> BABY'S POOP.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

1389
00:34:01,607 --> 00:34:02,372
>> BABY'S POOP.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: MIXED BAG.

1390
00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:02,939
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: MIXED BAG.
>> WHEN IT'S LIQUID, IT'S--

1391
00:34:02,941 --> 00:34:03,473
>> Stephen: MIXED BAG.
>> WHEN IT'S LIQUID, IT'S--
>> Stephen: SURE.

1392
00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:03,907
>> WHEN IT'S LIQUID, IT'S--
>> Stephen: SURE.
MMM...

1393
00:34:03,909 --> 00:34:04,274
>> Stephen: SURE.
MMM...
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1394
00:34:04,276 --> 00:34:07,477
MMM...
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
EXERCISE?

1395
00:34:07,479 --> 00:34:09,012
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
EXERCISE?
>> WHAT ABOUT IT?

1396
00:34:09,014 --> 00:34:09,713
EXERCISE?
>> WHAT ABOUT IT?
>> Stephen: WORTH IT?

1397
00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:11,448
>> WHAT ABOUT IT?
>> Stephen: WORTH IT?
>> YES, VERY.

1398
00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:13,350
>> Stephen: WORTH IT?
>> YES, VERY.
>> Stephen: FLAT OR SPARKLING?

1399
00:34:13,352 --> 00:34:15,519
>> YES, VERY.
>> Stephen: FLAT OR SPARKLING?
>> FLAT.

1400
00:34:15,521 --> 00:34:17,087
>> Stephen: FLAT OR SPARKLING?
>> FLAT.
>> Stephen: MOST USED--

1401
00:34:17,089 --> 00:34:17,554
>> FLAT.
>> Stephen: MOST USED--
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

1402
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:18,121
>> Stephen: MOST USED--
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> ARE WE GOING TO EDIT THAT

1403
00:34:18,123 --> 00:34:19,523
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> ARE WE GOING TO EDIT THAT
OUT, BECAUSE THAT MADE ME FEEL

1404
00:34:19,525 --> 00:34:19,856
>> ARE WE GOING TO EDIT THAT
OUT, BECAUSE THAT MADE ME FEEL
BAD?

1405
00:34:19,858 --> 00:34:20,390
OUT, BECAUSE THAT MADE ME FEEL
BAD?
>> Stephen: EDIT WHAT OUT?

1406
00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:23,493
BAD?
>> Stephen: EDIT WHAT OUT?
MOST USED APP ON YOUR PHONE?

1407
00:34:23,495 --> 00:34:27,497
>> Stephen: EDIT WHAT OUT?
MOST USED APP ON YOUR PHONE?
>> SPOTIFY.

1408
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:31,301
MOST USED APP ON YOUR PHONE?
>> SPOTIFY.
I ONLY JUST-- I AM 94-YEARS-OLD.

1409
00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:31,935
>> SPOTIFY.
I ONLY JUST-- I AM 94-YEARS-OLD.
I JUST RECENTLY FIGURED OUT THAT

1410
00:34:31,937 --> 00:34:33,737
I ONLY JUST-- I AM 94-YEARS-OLD.
I JUST RECENTLY FIGURED OUT THAT
THEY HAVE RADIO CHANNELS THAT

1411
00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:35,472
I JUST RECENTLY FIGURED OUT THAT
THEY HAVE RADIO CHANNELS THAT
MIX UP YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS.

1412
00:34:35,474 --> 00:34:36,973
THEY HAVE RADIO CHANNELS THAT
MIX UP YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS.
SO YOU SAY, LEON BRIDGES, AND

1413
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:38,275
MIX UP YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS.
SO YOU SAY, LEON BRIDGES, AND
YOU CAN LISTEN TO ALL LEON

1414
00:34:38,277 --> 00:34:38,708
SO YOU SAY, LEON BRIDGES, AND
YOU CAN LISTEN TO ALL LEON
BRIDGES.

1415
00:34:38,710 --> 00:34:39,242
YOU CAN LISTEN TO ALL LEON
BRIDGES.
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SPOTIFY?

1416
00:34:39,244 --> 00:34:39,709
BRIDGES.
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SPOTIFY?
AND THEN--

1417
00:34:39,711 --> 00:34:41,244
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SPOTIFY?
AND THEN--
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

1418
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:42,512
AND THEN--
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: ARE YOU SPONSORED BY

1419
00:34:42,514 --> 00:34:43,513
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: ARE YOU SPONSORED BY
SPOTIFY?

1420
00:34:43,515 --> 00:34:44,648
>> Stephen: ARE YOU SPONSORED BY
SPOTIFY?
>> SPOTIFY.

1421
00:34:44,650 --> 00:34:45,682
SPOTIFY?
>> SPOTIFY.
THE ONLY WAY TO LISTEN--

1422
00:34:45,684 --> 00:34:46,116
>> SPOTIFY.
THE ONLY WAY TO LISTEN--
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )

1423
00:34:46,118 --> 00:34:47,451
THE ONLY WAY TO LISTEN--
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
NO, I'M JUST--

1424
00:34:47,453 --> 00:34:48,018
(<i> LAUGHTER</i> )
NO, I'M JUST--
>> Stephen: YOU ONLY GET ONE

1425
00:34:48,020 --> 00:34:48,618
NO, I'M JUST--
>> Stephen: YOU ONLY GET ONE
SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST

1426
00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:51,521
>> Stephen: YOU ONLY GET ONE
SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT IS IT?

1427
00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:53,723
SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT IS IT?
>> MMM-- MAYBE "THE CURTAIN

1428
00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:55,459
OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT IS IT?
>> MMM-- MAYBE "THE CURTAIN
FALLS" BY BOBBY DARREN.

1429
00:34:55,461 --> 00:34:59,996
>> MMM-- MAYBE "THE CURTAIN
FALLS" BY BOBBY DARREN.
MORE?

1430
00:34:59,998 --> 00:35:01,731
FALLS" BY BOBBY DARREN.
MORE?
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW THAT

1431
00:35:01,733 --> 00:35:02,866
MORE?
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW THAT
ONE.

1432
00:35:02,868 --> 00:35:03,500
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW THAT
ONE.
"BEYOND THE SEA" IS IN THE DAMN

1433
00:35:03,502 --> 00:35:07,471
ONE.
"BEYOND THE SEA" IS IN THE DAMN
MOVIE, AND THAT'S BOBBY DARIN.

1434
00:35:07,473 --> 00:35:09,739
"BEYOND THE SEA" IS IN THE DAMN
MOVIE, AND THAT'S BOBBY DARIN.
>> YES, I BELIEVE IT WAS HIS

1435
00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:11,508
MOVIE, AND THAT'S BOBBY DARIN.
>> YES, I BELIEVE IT WAS HIS
LAST TOUR EVER, ONE OF THE LAST

1436
00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,443
>> YES, I BELIEVE IT WAS HIS
LAST TOUR EVER, ONE OF THE LAST
THINGS HE SANG LIVE WAS THIS

1437
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,011
LAST TOUR EVER, ONE OF THE LAST
THINGS HE SANG LIVE WAS THIS
SONG CALLED "AS THE CURTAIN

1438
00:35:15,013 --> 00:35:15,612
THINGS HE SANG LIVE WAS THIS
SONG CALLED "AS THE CURTAIN
FALLS," AND IT'S BASICALLY HIS

1439
00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:19,516
SONG CALLED "AS THE CURTAIN
FALLS," AND IT'S BASICALLY HIS
GOODBYE SONG TO SHOW BUSINESS,

1440
00:35:19,518 --> 00:35:20,851
FALLS," AND IT'S BASICALLY HIS
GOODBYE SONG TO SHOW BUSINESS,
AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

1441
00:35:20,853 --> 00:35:21,685
GOODBYE SONG TO SHOW BUSINESS,
AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY, SO WHEN

1442
00:35:21,687 --> 00:35:24,554
AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY, SO WHEN
YOU GO ON SPOTIFY--

1443
00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:25,355
IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY, SO WHEN
YOU GO ON SPOTIFY--
>> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I

1444
00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:26,556
YOU GO ON SPOTIFY--
>> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I
THINKING OF?

1445
00:35:26,558 --> 00:35:27,457
>> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I
THINKING OF?
>> SEVEN.

1446
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:29,960
THINKING OF?
>> SEVEN.
>> Stephen: NO.

1447
00:35:29,962 --> 00:35:30,494
>> SEVEN.
>> Stephen: NO.
>> OKAY.

1448
00:35:30,496 --> 00:35:31,528
>> Stephen: NO.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF

1449
00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:33,730
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

1450
00:35:33,732 --> 00:35:35,499
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> I HOPE I MAKE IT.

1451
00:35:35,501 --> 00:35:41,738
YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> I HOPE I MAKE IT.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )

1452
00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:43,140
>> I HOPE I MAKE IT.
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: JOHN KRASINSKI,

1453
00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:43,507
(<i> EVIE LAUGHING</i> )
>> Stephen: JOHN KRASINSKI,
CONGRATULATIONS.

1454
00:35:43,509 --> 00:35:44,007
>> Stephen: JOHN KRASINSKI,
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

1455
00:35:44,009 --> 00:35:45,041
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: YOU ARE KNOWN.

1456
00:35:45,043 --> 00:35:45,709
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: YOU ARE KNOWN.
>> WOW, THANK YOU.

1457
00:35:45,711 --> 00:35:47,944
>> Stephen: YOU ARE KNOWN.
>> WOW, THANK YOU.
♪ ♪ ♪

1458
00:35:50,515 --> 00:35:52,949
>> SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: IT'S A DELIGHT TO
SEE YOU, TOO.

1459
00:35:52,951 --> 00:35:54,584
>> Stephen: IT'S A DELIGHT TO
SEE YOU, TOO.
>> HAVE TO REDO THE HUG.

1460
00:35:54,586 --> 00:35:55,152
SEE YOU, TOO.
>> HAVE TO REDO THE HUG.
BECAUSE NOW WE GET TO DO IT.

1461
00:35:55,154 --> 00:35:55,719
>> HAVE TO REDO THE HUG.
BECAUSE NOW WE GET TO DO IT.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH, FROM A

1462
00:35:55,721 --> 00:35:55,986
BECAUSE NOW WE GET TO DO IT.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH, FROM A
YEAR AGO.

1463
00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:56,286
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH, FROM A
YEAR AGO.
>> COME ON.

1464
00:35:56,288 --> 00:35:56,753
YEAR AGO.
>> COME ON.
>> Stephen: YOU READY?

1465
00:35:56,755 --> 00:35:57,187
>> COME ON.
>> Stephen: YOU READY?
LET'S DO IT.

1466
00:35:57,189 --> 00:35:57,721
>> Stephen: YOU READY?
LET'S DO IT.
>> OH, VERY NICE.

1467
00:35:57,723 --> 00:36:01,725
LET'S DO IT.
>> OH, VERY NICE.
SO NICE.

1468
00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:03,360
>> OH, VERY NICE.
SO NICE.
>> Stephen: "A QUITE PLACE PART

1469
00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:03,960
SO NICE.
>> Stephen: "A QUITE PLACE PART
II" WILL BE IN THEATERS ON MAY

1470
00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:06,630
>> Stephen: "A QUITE PLACE PART
II" WILL BE IN THEATERS ON MAY
28.

1471
00:36:06,632 --> 00:36:07,497
II" WILL BE IN THEATERS ON MAY
28.
JOHN KRASINSKI, EVERYBODY!

1472
00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:09,733
28.
JOHN KRASINSKI, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

1473
00:36:09,735 --> 00:36:10,901
JOHN KRASINSKI, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ ♪ ♪

1474
00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:28,718
♪ ♪ ♪

1475
00:36:32,456 --> 00:36:34,424
>> Stephen: HEY EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK. PERFORMING A
MEDLEY OF "AMAZING GRACE,"

1476
00:36:34,426 --> 00:36:36,826
WELCOME BACK. PERFORMING A
MEDLEY OF "AMAZING GRACE,"
AND "GOIN' HOME" FROM HIS ALBUM

1477
00:36:36,828 --> 00:36:38,228
MEDLEY OF "AMAZING GRACE,"
AND "GOIN' HOME" FROM HIS ALBUM
"SONGS OF COMFORT AND HOPE,"

1478
00:36:38,230 --> 00:36:42,098
AND "GOIN' HOME" FROM HIS ALBUM
"SONGS OF COMFORT AND HOPE,"
YO-YO MA!

1479
00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:58,215
(<i> "SIMPLE GIFTS"</i> )
♪ ♪ ♪

1480
00:37:18,269 --> 00:37:22,205
♪ ♪ ♪

1481
00:37:28,546 --> 00:37:33,850
(<i> "AMAZING GRACE"</i> )
♪ ♪ ♪

1482
00:37:50,301 --> 00:38:08,952
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

1483
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:28,271
(<i> "GOIN' HOME"</i> )
♪ ♪ ♪

1484
00:39:22,293 --> 00:39:25,095
♪ ♪ ♪

1485
00:39:39,744 --> 00:39:40,243
> Stephen: YO-YO MA EVER

1486
00:39:44,749 --> 00:39:46,316
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S IT FOR
"A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.

1487
00:39:46,318 --> 00:39:46,616
"A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.

1488
00:39:46,618 --> 00:39:46,883
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪

1489
00:39:46,885 --> 00:39:52,589
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

1490
00:39:52,591 --> 00:39:53,356
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>

1491
00:39:53,358 --> 00:39:53,690
♪ ♪ ♪
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>
Captioned by

1492
00:39:53,692 --> 00:39:55,992
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>
Captioned by
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>

1493
00:39:55,994 --> 00:40:01,698
Captioned by
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>
access.wgbh.org

1494
00:40:01,700 --> 00:40:02,132
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>
access.wgbh.org
♪ ♪ ♪

1495
00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:08,304
♪ ♪ ♪