1
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,907
>> COULD GETTING A LOBSTER HIGH
BE A MORE HUMANE WAY TO KILL IT?
THAT'S WHAT BIOLOGY RESEARCHERS
2
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:09,742
BE A MORE HUMANE WAY TO KILL IT?
THAT'S WHAT BIOLOGY RESEARCHERS
ATTEMPTED TO FIND OUT WHEN THEY
3
00:00:09,744 --> 00:00:10,876
THAT'S WHAT BIOLOGY RESEARCHERS
ATTEMPTED TO FIND OUT WHEN THEY
PLACED LOBSTERS IN A T.H.C.
4
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,278
ATTEMPTED TO FIND OUT WHEN THEY
PLACED LOBSTERS IN A T.H.C.
HOT BOX.
5
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,947
PLACED LOBSTERS IN A T.H.C.
HOT BOX.
THE RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT
6
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,316
HOT BOX.
THE RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT
EXPOSING LOBSTERS TO CANNABIS.
7
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,617
THE RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT
EXPOSING LOBSTERS TO CANNABIS.
BY ATMOSPHERIC EXPOSURE COULD
8
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:19,785
EXPOSING LOBSTERS TO CANNABIS.
BY ATMOSPHERIC EXPOSURE COULD
INDUCE BEHAVIORAL EFFECTS.
9
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,120
BY ATMOSPHERIC EXPOSURE COULD
INDUCE BEHAVIORAL EFFECTS.
BUT THE BIGGER QUESTION OF
10
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,488
INDUCE BEHAVIORAL EFFECTS.
BUT THE BIGGER QUESTION OF
WHETHER THE WEED MAKES A
11
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,956
BUT THE BIGGER QUESTION OF
WHETHER THE WEED MAKES A
DIFFERENCE TO THE LOBSTER'S
12
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:25,324
WHETHER THE WEED MAKES A
DIFFERENCE TO THE LOBSTER'S
STATE OF MIND, THAT'S STILL NOT
13
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:26,792
DIFFERENCE TO THE LOBSTER'S
STATE OF MIND, THAT'S STILL NOT
CLEAR.
14
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,594
STATE OF MIND, THAT'S STILL NOT
CLEAR.
>> IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO
15
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:29,828
CLEAR.
>> IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO
STILL ISN'T CLEAR ABOUT WHAT
16
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,363
>> IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO
STILL ISN'T CLEAR ABOUT WHAT
DOING DRUGS DOES?
17
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,565
STILL ISN'T CLEAR ABOUT WHAT
DOING DRUGS DOES?
OKAY, LAST TIME.
18
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,834
DOING DRUGS DOES?
OKAY, LAST TIME.
THIS IS YOUR LOBSTER.
19
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:39,571
OKAY, LAST TIME.
THIS IS YOUR LOBSTER.
THIS IS YOUR LOBSTER ON DRUGS.
20
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:40,906
THIS IS YOUR LOBSTER.
THIS IS YOUR LOBSTER ON DRUGS.
>> HEY, MAN, THIS IS SO SWEET!
21
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,908
THIS IS YOUR LOBSTER ON DRUGS.
>> HEY, MAN, THIS IS SO SWEET!
>> YEAH.
22
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,310
>> HEY, MAN, THIS IS SO SWEET!
>> YEAH.
DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW
23
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:45,744
>> YEAH.
DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW
WE'LL DIE?
24
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,946
DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW
WE'LL DIE?
>> HIT BY A METEOR?
25
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:50,382
WE'LL DIE?
>> HIT BY A METEOR?
>> WHAT IF WE WERE BOILED ALIVE,
26
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,885
>> HIT BY A METEOR?
>> WHAT IF WE WERE BOILED ALIVE,
THEN ALL THE MEAT IN OUR BUTT
27
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:53,819
>> WHAT IF WE WERE BOILED ALIVE,
THEN ALL THE MEAT IN OUR BUTT
WAS RIPPED OUT WITH A TINY FORK
28
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:54,887
THEN ALL THE MEAT IN OUR BUTT
WAS RIPPED OUT WITH A TINY FORK
AND SERVED WITH BUTTER.
29
00:00:54,889 --> 00:01:02,394
WAS RIPPED OUT WITH A TINY FORK
AND SERVED WITH BUTTER.
( LAUGHING )
30
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:02,895
AND SERVED WITH BUTTER.
( LAUGHING )
>> DUDE, YOU'RE SO HIGH.
31
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:05,264
( LAUGHING )
>> DUDE, YOU'RE SO HIGH.
>> WHO'S HUNGRY?
32
00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:13,305
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:
33
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:20,512
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES
SAMUEL L. JACKSON
AND PADMA LAKSHMI
34
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:25,284
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.
35
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:29,354
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
36
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:33,292
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!
37
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:40,132
>> Stephen: HEY.
THERE YOU ARE.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
38
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:46,705
THERE YOU ARE.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
39
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:47,473
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
AFTER 15 MONTHS OF FORCED
40
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,540
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
AFTER 15 MONTHS OF FORCED
PANDEMIC ISOLATION, AMERICANS
41
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:49,441
AFTER 15 MONTHS OF FORCED
PANDEMIC ISOLATION, AMERICANS
ARE DESPERATE TO GET OUT OF THE
42
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,075
PANDEMIC ISOLATION, AMERICANS
ARE DESPERATE TO GET OUT OF THE
HOUSE AND DO ANYTHING-- GO TO A
43
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,110
ARE DESPERATE TO GET OUT OF THE
HOUSE AND DO ANYTHING-- GO TO A
RESTAURANT, ATTEND A BALLGAME,
44
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:51,743
HOUSE AND DO ANYTHING-- GO TO A
RESTAURANT, ATTEND A BALLGAME,
DO YOUR LATE-NIGHT SHOW IN FRONT
45
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,112
RESTAURANT, ATTEND A BALLGAME,
DO YOUR LATE-NIGHT SHOW IN FRONT
OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.
46
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,614
DO YOUR LATE-NIGHT SHOW IN FRONT
OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.
WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.
47
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,648
OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.
WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.
HOW MANY MORE?
48
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:57,249
WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.
HOW MANY MORE?
TWO MORE?
49
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,251
HOW MANY MORE?
TWO MORE?
THIS IS THE LAST WEDNESDAY?
50
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:02,654
TWO MORE?
THIS IS THE LAST WEDNESDAY?
THIS IS THE FINAL HUMP DAY!
51
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,590
THIS IS THE LAST WEDNESDAY?
THIS IS THE FINAL HUMP DAY!
( LAUGHTER )
52
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,859
THIS IS THE FINAL HUMP DAY!
( LAUGHTER )
TRYING TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT,
53
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:07,626
( LAUGHTER )
TRYING TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT,
YOU KNOW.
54
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,627
TRYING TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT,
YOU KNOW.
TREASURE, TREASURE THESE
55
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:09,962
YOU KNOW.
TREASURE, TREASURE THESE
MOMENTS.
56
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,530
TREASURE, TREASURE THESE
MOMENTS.
NO ONE IS MORE ANXIOUS TO GET
57
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,232
MOMENTS.
NO ONE IS MORE ANXIOUS TO GET
OUT AND DO STUFF THAN THE MAN
58
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,933
NO ONE IS MORE ANXIOUS TO GET
OUT AND DO STUFF THAN THE MAN
WHO WON THE PRESIDENCY FROM HIS
59
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,201
OUT AND DO STUFF THAN THE MAN
WHO WON THE PRESIDENCY FROM HIS
BASEMENT, JOE BIDEN.
60
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,603
WHO WON THE PRESIDENCY FROM HIS
BASEMENT, JOE BIDEN.
THIS MORNING, THE PRESIDENT
61
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:18,704
BASEMENT, JOE BIDEN.
THIS MORNING, THE PRESIDENT
EMBARKED ON AN EIGHT-DAY TRIP TO
62
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:18,937
THIS MORNING, THE PRESIDENT
EMBARKED ON AN EIGHT-DAY TRIP TO
EUROPE.
63
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:24,309
EMBARKED ON AN EIGHT-DAY TRIP TO
EUROPE.
WELL, THAT'S FUN!
64
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,212
EUROPE.
WELL, THAT'S FUN!
BIDEN'S GOING TO EURO!
65
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:31,183
WELL, THAT'S FUN!
BIDEN'S GOING TO EURO!
HE'S GOING TO EURO, I JUST SAID!
66
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,050
BIDEN'S GOING TO EURO!
HE'S GOING TO EURO, I JUST SAID!
HE'S GOING TO SEE THE SITES,
67
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:32,784
HE'S GOING TO EURO, I JUST SAID!
HE'S GOING TO SEE THE SITES,
RIDE THE RAILS, COME BACK
68
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:33,385
HE'S GOING TO SEE THE SITES,
RIDE THE RAILS, COME BACK
SAYING WORDS LIKE "LORRY" AND
69
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,854
RIDE THE RAILS, COME BACK
SAYING WORDS LIKE "LORRY" AND
"ZED."
70
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,656
SAYING WORDS LIKE "LORRY" AND
"ZED."
COMPLAPING ABOUT HOW BAD OUR BUT
71
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,192
"ZED."
COMPLAPING ABOUT HOW BAD OUR BUT
ARE IS HERE.
72
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,326
COMPLAPING ABOUT HOW BAD OUR BUT
ARE IS HERE.
AND, OF COURSE, SWITCHING FROM
73
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,694
ARE IS HERE.
AND, OF COURSE, SWITCHING FROM
DOUBLE FISTING ICE CREAM TO
74
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,462
AND, OF COURSE, SWITCHING FROM
DOUBLE FISTING ICE CREAM TO
DOUBLE FISTING GELATO.
75
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,463
DOUBLE FISTING ICE CREAM TO
DOUBLE FISTING GELATO.
THE TOUR STARTS IN THE U.K.,
76
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:45,097
DOUBLE FISTING GELATO.
THE TOUR STARTS IN THE U.K.,
WHERE BIDEN WILL SIT DOWN FOR A
77
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:45,764
THE TOUR STARTS IN THE U.K.,
WHERE BIDEN WILL SIT DOWN FOR A
MEETING WITH BORIS JOHNSON-- OR,
78
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:46,398
WHERE BIDEN WILL SIT DOWN FOR A
MEETING WITH BORIS JOHNSON-- OR,
AS THEY'RE KNOWN BY THEIR
79
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,733
MEETING WITH BORIS JOHNSON-- OR,
AS THEY'RE KNOWN BY THEIR
POLITICAL COUPLE NAME,
80
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:48,400
AS THEY'RE KNOWN BY THEIR
POLITICAL COUPLE NAME,
"BO-JO JO-BI."
81
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:49,835
POLITICAL COUPLE NAME,
"BO-JO JO-BI."
THEY'RE THE HOTTEST
82
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,738
"BO-JO JO-BI."
THEY'RE THE HOTTEST
EUROPEAN-AMERICAN PAIR SINCE,
83
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:55,340
THEY'RE THE HOTTEST
EUROPEAN-AMERICAN PAIR SINCE,
OB-ERKEL. WHICH, OF COURSE, WAS
84
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,241
EUROPEAN-AMERICAN PAIR SINCE,
OB-ERKEL. WHICH, OF COURSE, WAS
OBAMA, ANGELA MERKLE, AND
85
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,410
OB-ERKEL. WHICH, OF COURSE, WAS
OBAMA, ANGELA MERKLE, AND
STEVE URKEL.
86
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,078
OBAMA, ANGELA MERKLE, AND
STEVE URKEL.
BIDEN'S GOAL IS TO STRENGTHEN
87
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:00,646
STEVE URKEL.
BIDEN'S GOAL IS TO STRENGTHEN
AMERICA'S BONDS WITH EUROPE,
88
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:01,180
BIDEN'S GOAL IS TO STRENGTHEN
AMERICA'S BONDS WITH EUROPE,
ESPECIALLY NATO.
89
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:04,883
AMERICA'S BONDS WITH EUROPE,
ESPECIALLY NATO.
BUT FIRST, HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO
90
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,084
ESPECIALLY NATO.
BUT FIRST, HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO
WIN OVER THE EUROPEAN LEADERS,
91
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,452
BUT FIRST, HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO
WIN OVER THE EUROPEAN LEADERS,
WHO HAVE GROWN WARY AFTER FOUR
92
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,987
WIN OVER THE EUROPEAN LEADERS,
WHO HAVE GROWN WARY AFTER FOUR
YEARS OF A MORE-INSULAR APPROACH
93
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:09,454
WHO HAVE GROWN WARY AFTER FOUR
YEARS OF A MORE-INSULAR APPROACH
FROM HIS PREDECESSOR.
94
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:09,888
YEARS OF A MORE-INSULAR APPROACH
FROM HIS PREDECESSOR.
COME ON, EUROPE!
95
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,490
FROM HIS PREDECESSOR.
COME ON, EUROPE!
YOU CAN'T JUDGE US.
96
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,258
COME ON, EUROPE!
YOU CAN'T JUDGE US.
YOU HAD FASCISTS.
97
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,661
YOU CAN'T JUDGE US.
YOU HAD FASCISTS.
WE HAD FASCISTS.
98
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:16,762
YOU HAD FASCISTS.
WE HAD FASCISTS.
YOU HAVE RULERS THAT MARRY THEIR
99
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:21,233
WE HAD FASCISTS.
YOU HAVE RULERS THAT MARRY THEIR
COUSINS.
100
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,000
YOU HAVE RULERS THAT MARRY THEIR
COUSINS.
WE HAVE RUDY WHO MARRIED HIS
101
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,602
COUSINS.
WE HAVE RUDY WHO MARRIED HIS
COUSIN.
102
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:24,603
WE HAVE RUDY WHO MARRIED HIS
COUSIN.
YOU HAD NOSFERATU AND WE HAVE...
103
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,072
COUSIN.
YOU HAD NOSFERATU AND WE HAVE...
WE HAVE RUDY.
104
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:27,773
YOU HAD NOSFERATU AND WE HAVE...
WE HAVE RUDY.
( LAUGHTER )
105
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,575
WE HAVE RUDY.
( LAUGHTER )
POTATO-POTAHTO.
106
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,443
( LAUGHTER )
POTATO-POTAHTO.
THE PRESIDENT'S TRIP GOT OFF TO
107
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:31,944
POTATO-POTAHTO.
THE PRESIDENT'S TRIP GOT OFF TO
A BIT OF A ROUGH START.
108
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:33,111
THE PRESIDENT'S TRIP GOT OFF TO
A BIT OF A ROUGH START.
LAST NIGHT, THE WHITE HOUSE
109
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:33,745
A BIT OF A ROUGH START.
LAST NIGHT, THE WHITE HOUSE
PRESS CHARTER PLANE WAS DELAYED
110
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,914
LAST NIGHT, THE WHITE HOUSE
PRESS CHARTER PLANE WAS DELAYED
BY CICADAS.
111
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,216
PRESS CHARTER PLANE WAS DELAYED
BY CICADAS.
THE FLYING INSECTS HAD FILLED
112
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,084
BY CICADAS.
THE FLYING INSECTS HAD FILLED
THE PLANE'S ENGINES.
113
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:39,651
THE FLYING INSECTS HAD FILLED
THE PLANE'S ENGINES.
HERE'S ONE JOURNALIST AFTER
114
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:43,155
THE PLANE'S ENGINES.
HERE'S ONE JOURNALIST AFTER
GETTING THE NEWS:
115
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:48,627
HERE'S ONE JOURNALIST AFTER
GETTING THE NEWS:
>> GET OFF MY PLANE!
116
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,630
GETTING THE NEWS:
>> GET OFF MY PLANE!
♪ ♪ ♪
117
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:52,731
>> GET OFF MY PLANE!
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: THE BUG DELAY LEFT
118
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,132
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: THE BUG DELAY LEFT
BIDEN'S AIDES SCRAMBLING FOR
119
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,434
>> Stephen: THE BUG DELAY LEFT
BIDEN'S AIDES SCRAMBLING FOR
ANOTHER WAY TO FERRY THE
120
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,468
BIDEN'S AIDES SCRAMBLING FOR
ANOTHER WAY TO FERRY THE
REPORTERS OVERSEAS.
121
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,804
ANOTHER WAY TO FERRY THE
REPORTERS OVERSEAS.
EVENTUALLY, THE WHITE HOUSE WAS
122
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:02,307
REPORTERS OVERSEAS.
EVENTUALLY, THE WHITE HOUSE WAS
ABLE TO CALL IN A NEW PILOT.
123
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:03,242
EVENTUALLY, THE WHITE HOUSE WAS
ABLE TO CALL IN A NEW PILOT.
BUT THE PLANE WAS DELAYED AGAIN
124
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:04,309
ABLE TO CALL IN A NEW PILOT.
BUT THE PLANE WAS DELAYED AGAIN
WHEN IT TURNED OUT THE PILOT WAS
125
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:05,978
BUT THE PLANE WAS DELAYED AGAIN
WHEN IT TURNED OUT THE PILOT WAS
ALSO A CICADA.
126
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,279
WHEN IT TURNED OUT THE PILOT WAS
ALSO A CICADA.
REPORTERS WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES
127
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,313
ALSO A CICADA.
REPORTERS WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES
WHO HAD TO FACE THE SWARM ON
128
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:13,986
REPORTERS WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES
WHO HAD TO FACE THE SWARM ON
THEIR WAY TO EUROPE.
129
00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:15,387
WHO HAD TO FACE THE SWARM ON
THEIR WAY TO EUROPE.
WHOA!
130
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,121
THEIR WAY TO EUROPE.
WHOA!
FORGET THE SECRET SERVICE.
131
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,956
WHOA!
FORGET THE SECRET SERVICE.
THAT MAN NEEDS A SWAT TEAM.
132
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:21,293
FORGET THE SECRET SERVICE.
THAT MAN NEEDS A SWAT TEAM.
♪ ♪ ♪
133
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:26,231
THAT MAN NEEDS A SWAT TEAM.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> ONCE EVERY 17 YEARS SLAM!
134
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,532
♪ ♪ ♪
>> ONCE EVERY 17 YEARS SLAM!
>> Stephen: THE CICADAS ARE ALL
135
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,433
>> ONCE EVERY 17 YEARS SLAM!
>> Stephen: THE CICADAS ARE ALL
OVER D.C.
136
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,502
>> Stephen: THE CICADAS ARE ALL
OVER D.C.
IN FACT, YESTERDAY, THE SWARM
137
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:35,407
OVER D.C.
IN FACT, YESTERDAY, THE SWARM
CLOUD WAS SO DENSE THAT IT COULD
138
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,074
IN FACT, YESTERDAY, THE SWARM
CLOUD WAS SO DENSE THAT IT COULD
ACTUALLY BE SEEN CAPTURED ON
139
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,009
CLOUD WAS SO DENSE THAT IT COULD
ACTUALLY BE SEEN CAPTURED ON
WEATHER RADAR.
140
00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:38,076
ACTUALLY BE SEEN CAPTURED ON
WEATHER RADAR.
NEVER A COMFORTING SIGN WHEN
141
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,344
WEATHER RADAR.
NEVER A COMFORTING SIGN WHEN
YOUR WEATHER REPORT SOUNDS LIKE
142
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:39,978
NEVER A COMFORTING SIGN WHEN
YOUR WEATHER REPORT SOUNDS LIKE
THE BOOK OF REVELATION:
143
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,013
YOUR WEATHER REPORT SOUNDS LIKE
THE BOOK OF REVELATION:
"WEDNESDAY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
144
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:42,414
THE BOOK OF REVELATION:
"WEDNESDAY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
SWARMS OF LOCUSTS.
145
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,817
"WEDNESDAY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
SWARMS OF LOCUSTS.
TOMORROW, RIVERS OF BLOOD.
146
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,152
SWARMS OF LOCUSTS.
TOMORROW, RIVERS OF BLOOD.
FRIDAY, FIRE WILL RAIN FROM THE
147
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:50,255
TOMORROW, RIVERS OF BLOOD.
FRIDAY, FIRE WILL RAIN FROM THE
HEAVENS, AND YOU'LL BE TRAMPLED
148
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:50,822
FRIDAY, FIRE WILL RAIN FROM THE
HEAVENS, AND YOU'LL BE TRAMPLED
BY THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE
149
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:51,290
HEAVENS, AND YOU'LL BE TRAMPLED
BY THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE
APOCALYPSE.
150
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,057
BY THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE
APOCALYPSE.
SO, PACK AN UMBRELLA.
151
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,325
APOCALYPSE.
SO, PACK AN UMBRELLA.
OVER TO CHIP WITH SPORTS!
152
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,093
SO, PACK AN UMBRELLA.
OVER TO CHIP WITH SPORTS!
CHIP?"
153
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:55,927
OVER TO CHIP WITH SPORTS!
CHIP?"
>> THANKS, STEVE!
154
00:04:55,929 --> 00:05:02,734
CHIP?"
>> THANKS, STEVE!
>> Stephen: I'M GUESSING BIDEN
155
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:03,702
>> THANKS, STEVE!
>> Stephen: I'M GUESSING BIDEN
HOPES HIS TRIP GOES A TAD
156
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:04,369
>> Stephen: I'M GUESSING BIDEN
HOPES HIS TRIP GOES A TAD
SMOOTHER THAN THE ONE JUST
157
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:05,270
HOPES HIS TRIP GOES A TAD
SMOOTHER THAN THE ONE JUST
COMPLETED BY VICE PRESIDENT
158
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:05,771
SMOOTHER THAN THE ONE JUST
COMPLETED BY VICE PRESIDENT
KAMALA HARRIS, SEEN HERE
159
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:09,308
COMPLETED BY VICE PRESIDENT
KAMALA HARRIS, SEEN HERE
AVOIDING JOE MANCHIN BY
160
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,042
KAMALA HARRIS, SEEN HERE
AVOIDING JOE MANCHIN BY
PRETENDING SHE'S HOLDING A
161
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:10,475
AVOIDING JOE MANCHIN BY
PRETENDING SHE'S HOLDING A
PHONE.
162
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,476
PRETENDING SHE'S HOLDING A
PHONE.
WHILE BIDEN IS OFF TO MEET WITH
163
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,110
PHONE.
WHILE BIDEN IS OFF TO MEET WITH
EUROPEAN LEADERS, HARRIS JUST
164
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,178
WHILE BIDEN IS OFF TO MEET WITH
EUROPEAN LEADERS, HARRIS JUST
GOT BACK FROM A TRIP TO CENTRAL
165
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:13,412
EUROPEAN LEADERS, HARRIS JUST
GOT BACK FROM A TRIP TO CENTRAL
AMERICA.
166
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:14,446
GOT BACK FROM A TRIP TO CENTRAL
AMERICA.
SHE WENT THERE AFTER THE
167
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,414
AMERICA.
SHE WENT THERE AFTER THE
PRESIDENT PUT HER IN CHARGE OF
168
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:15,881
SHE WENT THERE AFTER THE
PRESIDENT PUT HER IN CHARGE OF
THE BORDER CRISIS.
169
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:16,715
PRESIDENT PUT HER IN CHARGE OF
THE BORDER CRISIS.
"ALL RIGHT, KIDDO.
170
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:17,149
THE BORDER CRISIS.
"ALL RIGHT, KIDDO.
LET'S DIVVY UP THESE
171
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,784
"ALL RIGHT, KIDDO.
LET'S DIVVY UP THESE
INTERNATIONAL TRIPS.
172
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:19,985
LET'S DIVVY UP THESE
INTERNATIONAL TRIPS.
I'M GONNA GO EAT, PRAY,
173
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,320
INTERNATIONAL TRIPS.
I'M GONNA GO EAT, PRAY,
LOVE ACROSS THE OLD COUNTRY.
174
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:27,426
I'M GONNA GO EAT, PRAY,
LOVE ACROSS THE OLD COUNTRY.
HOW 'BOUT YOU HEAD SOUTH OF THE
175
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,260
LOVE ACROSS THE OLD COUNTRY.
HOW 'BOUT YOU HEAD SOUTH OF THE
BORDER, TRY TO SOLVE A
176
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,127
HOW 'BOUT YOU HEAD SOUTH OF THE
BORDER, TRY TO SOLVE A
PROBLEM THAT NO PRESIDENT OF
177
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:29,728
BORDER, TRY TO SOLVE A
PROBLEM THAT NO PRESIDENT OF
EITHER PARTY HAS BEEN ABLE TO
178
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:30,495
PROBLEM THAT NO PRESIDENT OF
EITHER PARTY HAS BEEN ABLE TO
HANDLE FOR DECADES?
179
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,363
EITHER PARTY HAS BEEN ABLE TO
HANDLE FOR DECADES?
TAKE IT EASY ON AIR FORCE TWO.
180
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,032
HANDLE FOR DECADES?
TAKE IT EASY ON AIR FORCE TWO.
THAT THING IS CHOCK FULL OF
181
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:34,266
TAKE IT EASY ON AIR FORCE TWO.
THAT THING IS CHOCK FULL OF
CICADAS.
182
00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:36,702
THAT THING IS CHOCK FULL OF
CICADAS.
DON'T FLOOD THE ENGINE, OKAY?
183
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,737
CICADAS.
DON'T FLOOD THE ENGINE, OKAY?
ONE OF MY PROPS JUST FELL DOWN
184
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,405
DON'T FLOOD THE ENGINE, OKAY?
ONE OF MY PROPS JUST FELL DOWN
FOR LATER, A JOKE WE'RE DOING A
185
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:41,306
ONE OF MY PROPS JUST FELL DOWN
FOR LATER, A JOKE WE'RE DOING A
LITTLE BIT LATER.
186
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,308
FOR LATER, A JOKE WE'RE DOING A
LITTLE BIT LATER.
( LAUGHTER )
187
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:43,809
LITTLE BIT LATER.
( LAUGHTER )
THE TRIP DID NOT GO VERY
188
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,677
( LAUGHTER )
THE TRIP DID NOT GO VERY
SMOOTHLY.
189
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,079
THE TRIP DID NOT GO VERY
SMOOTHLY.
SMOOTHER THAN THAT JUST WENT FOR
190
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:51,049
SMOOTHLY.
SMOOTHER THAN THAT JUST WENT FOR
ME.
191
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,417
SMOOTHER THAN THAT JUST WENT FOR
ME.
THE ROCKIEST MOMENTS CAME WHEN
192
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,552
ME.
THE ROCKIEST MOMENTS CAME WHEN
HARRIS TOLD GUATEMALAN MIGRANTS
193
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,353
THE ROCKIEST MOMENTS CAME WHEN
HARRIS TOLD GUATEMALAN MIGRANTS
BLUNTLY, "DO NOT COME," AFTER
194
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:55,887
HARRIS TOLD GUATEMALAN MIGRANTS
BLUNTLY, "DO NOT COME," AFTER
WHICH SHE WAS BLASTED BY
195
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,622
BLUNTLY, "DO NOT COME," AFTER
WHICH SHE WAS BLASTED BY
PROGRESSIVES AND REPUBLICANS.
196
00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,392
WHICH SHE WAS BLASTED BY
PROGRESSIVES AND REPUBLICANS.
SO, BIPARTISANSHIP!
197
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,662
PROGRESSIVES AND REPUBLICANS.
SO, BIPARTISANSHIP!
THEN, IN AN INTERVIEW WITH
198
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:04,429
SO, BIPARTISANSHIP!
THEN, IN AN INTERVIEW WITH
LESTER HOLT, HARRIS STRUGGLED TO
199
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,998
THEN, IN AN INTERVIEW WITH
LESTER HOLT, HARRIS STRUGGLED TO
ANSWER THIS SIMPLE QUESTION:
200
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,400
LESTER HOLT, HARRIS STRUGGLED TO
ANSWER THIS SIMPLE QUESTION:
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS TO
201
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:12,771
ANSWER THIS SIMPLE QUESTION:
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS TO
VISIT THE BORDER?
202
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:13,538
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS TO
VISIT THE BORDER?
>> AT SOME POINT, WE ARE GOING
203
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,272
VISIT THE BORDER?
>> AT SOME POINT, WE ARE GOING
TO THE BORDER.
204
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,908
>> AT SOME POINT, WE ARE GOING
TO THE BORDER.
WE HAVE BEEN TO THE BORDER,
205
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:20,011
TO THE BORDER.
WE HAVE BEEN TO THE BORDER,
SO THIS WHOLE-- THIS WHOLE--
206
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,279
WE HAVE BEEN TO THE BORDER,
SO THIS WHOLE-- THIS WHOLE--
THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT THE
207
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,047
SO THIS WHOLE-- THIS WHOLE--
THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT THE
BORDER, WE'VE BEEN TO THE
208
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,182
THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT THE
BORDER, WE'VE BEEN TO THE
BORDER.
209
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:24,850
BORDER, WE'VE BEEN TO THE
BORDER.
WE'VE BEEN TO THE BORDER.
210
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:25,417
BORDER.
WE'VE BEEN TO THE BORDER.
>> YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE
211
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:26,351
WE'VE BEEN TO THE BORDER.
>> YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE
BORDER.
212
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:31,490
>> YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE
BORDER.
>> AND I HAVEN'T BEEN TO EUROPE.
213
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:32,290
BORDER.
>> AND I HAVEN'T BEEN TO EUROPE.
>> Stephen: "I HAVEN'T BEEN TO
214
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,291
>> AND I HAVEN'T BEEN TO EUROPE.
>> Stephen: "I HAVEN'T BEEN TO
EUROPE, LESTER-- JUST A RANDOM
215
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,526
>> Stephen: "I HAVEN'T BEEN TO
EUROPE, LESTER-- JUST A RANDOM
EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON.
216
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,527
EUROPE, LESTER-- JUST A RANDOM
EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON.
I HAVE NOT BEEN TO, I DON'T KNOW
217
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,528
EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON.
I HAVE NOT BEEN TO, I DON'T KNOW
ENGLAND, BRUSSELS, GENEVA, A
218
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,429
I HAVE NOT BEEN TO, I DON'T KNOW
ENGLAND, BRUSSELS, GENEVA, A
CUSHY MEETING WITH THE G7 IN
219
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:38,196
ENGLAND, BRUSSELS, GENEVA, A
CUSHY MEETING WITH THE G7 IN
CORNWALL ON JUNE 11.
220
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,365
CUSHY MEETING WITH THE G7 IN
CORNWALL ON JUNE 11.
IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO HAVE
221
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:43,568
CORNWALL ON JUNE 11.
IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO HAVE
A SLICE OF PIZZA WITH THE QUEEN?
222
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,738
IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO HAVE
A SLICE OF PIZZA WITH THE QUEEN?
I SUPPOSE SHE EATS PIZZA, WHAT
223
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:52,043
A SLICE OF PIZZA WITH THE QUEEN?
I SUPPOSE SHE EATS PIZZA, WHAT
WITH KING ARTHUR'S ROUNDTABLE."
224
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:52,811
I SUPPOSE SHE EATS PIZZA, WHAT
WITH KING ARTHUR'S ROUNDTABLE."
THIS WAS NOT A GREAT ANSWER BY
225
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:53,378
WITH KING ARTHUR'S ROUNDTABLE."
THIS WAS NOT A GREAT ANSWER BY
HARRIS, BUT ALSO NOT A GREAT
226
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:54,112
THIS WAS NOT A GREAT ANSWER BY
HARRIS, BUT ALSO NOT A GREAT
QUESTION BY LESTER.
227
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:57,315
HARRIS, BUT ALSO NOT A GREAT
QUESTION BY LESTER.
IF QUARANTINE TAUGHT US
228
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,283
QUESTION BY LESTER.
IF QUARANTINE TAUGHT US
ANYTHING, LESTER, IT'S THAT YOU
229
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:58,950
IF QUARANTINE TAUGHT US
ANYTHING, LESTER, IT'S THAT YOU
DON'T NEED TO GO SOMEWHERE IN
230
00:06:58,952 --> 00:06:59,651
ANYTHING, LESTER, IT'S THAT YOU
DON'T NEED TO GO SOMEWHERE IN
PERSON TO WORK ON IT.
231
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:04,923
DON'T NEED TO GO SOMEWHERE IN
PERSON TO WORK ON IT.
THE V.P. MAY NOT HAVE VISITED
232
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:05,757
PERSON TO WORK ON IT.
THE V.P. MAY NOT HAVE VISITED
THE BORDER, BUT I'M SURE SHE'S
233
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,925
THE V.P. MAY NOT HAVE VISITED
THE BORDER, BUT I'M SURE SHE'S
MAKING A LOT OF PROGRESS WITH IT
234
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:07,192
THE BORDER, BUT I'M SURE SHE'S
MAKING A LOT OF PROGRESS WITH IT
OVER ZOOM.
235
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,627
MAKING A LOT OF PROGRESS WITH IT
OVER ZOOM.
"BORDER, YOU'RE ON MUTE!"
236
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,361
OVER ZOOM.
"BORDER, YOU'RE ON MUTE!"
REPUBLICANS ATTACKED HARRIS AND
237
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,462
"BORDER, YOU'RE ON MUTE!"
REPUBLICANS ATTACKED HARRIS AND
CALLED ON HER TO GET A FIRSTHAND
238
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:11,630
REPUBLICANS ATTACKED HARRIS AND
CALLED ON HER TO GET A FIRSTHAND
LOOK AT THE BORDER.
239
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:18,303
CALLED ON HER TO GET A FIRSTHAND
LOOK AT THE BORDER.
YEAH, REPUBLICANS KNOW THAT'S
240
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:18,904
LOOK AT THE BORDER.
YEAH, REPUBLICANS KNOW THAT'S
HOW YOU SOLVE ANY PROBLEM: YOU
241
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:19,905
YEAH, REPUBLICANS KNOW THAT'S
HOW YOU SOLVE ANY PROBLEM: YOU
GO THERE FOR A PHOTO OP.
242
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,306
HOW YOU SOLVE ANY PROBLEM: YOU
GO THERE FOR A PHOTO OP.
IT'S LIKE THE KIDS SAY: PICS OR
243
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,240
GO THERE FOR A PHOTO OP.
IT'S LIKE THE KIDS SAY: PICS OR
YOU DIDN'T FIX.
244
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,208
IT'S LIKE THE KIDS SAY: PICS OR
YOU DIDN'T FIX.
IN OTHER CENTRAL AMERICA NEWS,
245
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,810
YOU DIDN'T FIX.
IN OTHER CENTRAL AMERICA NEWS,
EL SALVADOR JUST BECAME THE
246
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:25,444
IN OTHER CENTRAL AMERICA NEWS,
EL SALVADOR JUST BECAME THE
FIRST COUNTRY TO APPROVE BITCOIN
247
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:28,046
EL SALVADOR JUST BECAME THE
FIRST COUNTRY TO APPROVE BITCOIN
AS LEGAL CURRENCY.
248
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,215
FIRST COUNTRY TO APPROVE BITCOIN
AS LEGAL CURRENCY.
SO THEIR FINANCIAL SYSTEM SHOULD
249
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,684
AS LEGAL CURRENCY.
SO THEIR FINANCIAL SYSTEM SHOULD
BE ROCK SOLID, UNLESS ELON MUSK
250
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,718
SO THEIR FINANCIAL SYSTEM SHOULD
BE ROCK SOLID, UNLESS ELON MUSK
TWEETS THEIR FLAG AND A FROWNY
251
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,620
BE ROCK SOLID, UNLESS ELON MUSK
TWEETS THEIR FLAG AND A FROWNY
FACE.
252
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,088
TWEETS THEIR FLAG AND A FROWNY
FACE.
THIS MOVE "WILL MAKE THE CENTRAL
253
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,356
FACE.
THIS MOVE "WILL MAKE THE CENTRAL
AMERICAN NATION THE FIRST IN THE
254
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,658
THIS MOVE "WILL MAKE THE CENTRAL
AMERICAN NATION THE FIRST IN THE
WORLD WHERE BUSINESSES WILL HAVE
255
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,625
AMERICAN NATION THE FIRST IN THE
WORLD WHERE BUSINESSES WILL HAVE
TO ACCEPT BITCOIN FOR GOODS AND
256
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,461
WORLD WHERE BUSINESSES WILL HAVE
TO ACCEPT BITCOIN FOR GOODS AND
SERVICES."
257
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,029
TO ACCEPT BITCOIN FOR GOODS AND
SERVICES."
THAT COULD BE TOUGH, CONSIDERING
258
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,163
SERVICES."
THAT COULD BE TOUGH, CONSIDERING
HOW MUCH THE VALUE OF BITCOIN
259
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:45,464
THAT COULD BE TOUGH, CONSIDERING
HOW MUCH THE VALUE OF BITCOIN
FLUCTUATES.
260
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,264
HOW MUCH THE VALUE OF BITCOIN
FLUCTUATES.
( AS SHOPKEEPER )
261
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,499
FLUCTUATES.
( AS SHOPKEEPER )
"OKAY, YOUR TOTAL COMES TO
262
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,133
( AS SHOPKEEPER )
"OKAY, YOUR TOTAL COMES TO
5.75--
263
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,568
"OKAY, YOUR TOTAL COMES TO
5.75--
( BLING )
264
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,670
5.75--
( BLING )
OOPS!
265
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:52,471
( BLING )
OOPS!
45,612--
266
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,474
OOPS!
45,612--
( BLING )
267
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,676
45,612--
( BLING )
LOOKS LIKE I OWE YOU A DOLLAR."
268
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,044
( BLING )
LOOKS LIKE I OWE YOU A DOLLAR."
( LAUGHTER )
269
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,445
LOOKS LIKE I OWE YOU A DOLLAR."
( LAUGHTER )
AT LEAST THE COUNTRY CAN REST
270
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,713
( LAUGHTER )
AT LEAST THE COUNTRY CAN REST
ASSURED THAT THIS MASSIVE
271
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,682
AT LEAST THE COUNTRY CAN REST
ASSURED THAT THIS MASSIVE
ECONOMIC DECISION WAS MADE BY
272
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,284
ASSURED THAT THIS MASSIVE
ECONOMIC DECISION WAS MADE BY
THE STEADY HAND THAT IS
273
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:09,054
ECONOMIC DECISION WAS MADE BY
THE STEADY HAND THAT IS
EL SALVADOR'S PRESIDENT, NAYIB
274
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:09,788
THE STEADY HAND THAT IS
EL SALVADOR'S PRESIDENT, NAYIB
BUKELE WHO, AFTER MAKING
275
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,156
EL SALVADOR'S PRESIDENT, NAYIB
BUKELE WHO, AFTER MAKING
THE ANNOUNCEMENT, CHANGED HIS
276
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,724
BUKELE WHO, AFTER MAKING
THE ANNOUNCEMENT, CHANGED HIS
TWITTER PHOTO TO GIVE HIMSELF
277
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:16,027
THE ANNOUNCEMENT, CHANGED HIS
TWITTER PHOTO TO GIVE HIMSELF
BITCOIN LAZER EYES.
278
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,229
TWITTER PHOTO TO GIVE HIMSELF
BITCOIN LAZER EYES.
BECAUSE THERE'S NO BETTER WAY TO
279
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:17,796
BITCOIN LAZER EYES.
BECAUSE THERE'S NO BETTER WAY TO
INSPIRE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR
280
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,798
BECAUSE THERE'S NO BETTER WAY TO
INSPIRE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR
COUNTRY'S FIAT CURRENCY THAN TO
281
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:20,365
INSPIRE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR
COUNTRY'S FIAT CURRENCY THAN TO
GIVE YOURSELF MUTANT POWERS.
282
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,900
COUNTRY'S FIAT CURRENCY THAN TO
GIVE YOURSELF MUTANT POWERS.
THAT'S WHY THE U.K.'S
283
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:22,701
GIVE YOURSELF MUTANT POWERS.
THAT'S WHY THE U.K.'S
20-POUND NOTE FEATURES QUEEN
284
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:25,203
THAT'S WHY THE U.K.'S
20-POUND NOTE FEATURES QUEEN
ELIZABETH WITH ADAMANTIUM CLAWS.
285
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,204
20-POUND NOTE FEATURES QUEEN
ELIZABETH WITH ADAMANTIUM CLAWS.
HERE IN THE UNITED STATES, WE'VE
286
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,439
ELIZABETH WITH ADAMANTIUM CLAWS.
HERE IN THE UNITED STATES, WE'VE
GOT OUR OWN CONTROVERSIAL,
287
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:28,273
HERE IN THE UNITED STATES, WE'VE
GOT OUR OWN CONTROVERSIAL,
OVERVALUED RESOURCE:
288
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:30,275
GOT OUR OWN CONTROVERSIAL,
OVERVALUED RESOURCE:
BILLIONAIRES.
289
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:31,610
OVERVALUED RESOURCE:
BILLIONAIRES.
THERE'S A NEW REASON TO MAKE
290
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:36,248
BILLIONAIRES.
THERE'S A NEW REASON TO MAKE
THEIR SPACE TRIPS A ONE-WAY
291
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,950
THERE'S A NEW REASON TO MAKE
THEIR SPACE TRIPS A ONE-WAY
TICKET: YOU SEE, NEWLY LEAKED
292
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:39,718
THEIR SPACE TRIPS A ONE-WAY
TICKET: YOU SEE, NEWLY LEAKED
I.R.S. DATA SHOWS THAT THE 25
293
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,120
TICKET: YOU SEE, NEWLY LEAKED
I.R.S. DATA SHOWS THAT THE 25
RICHEST AMERICANS, INCLUDING
294
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,322
I.R.S. DATA SHOWS THAT THE 25
RICHEST AMERICANS, INCLUDING
JEFF BEZOS, MICHAEL BLOOMBERG
295
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:44,923
RICHEST AMERICANS, INCLUDING
JEFF BEZOS, MICHAEL BLOOMBERG
AND ELON MUSK, PAID LITTLE TO
296
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:45,457
JEFF BEZOS, MICHAEL BLOOMBERG
AND ELON MUSK, PAID LITTLE TO
NOTHING IN FEDERAL INCOME
297
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:50,362
AND ELON MUSK, PAID LITTLE TO
NOTHING IN FEDERAL INCOME
TAXES.
298
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,564
NOTHING IN FEDERAL INCOME
TAXES.
WELL, THAT SHOULD MAKE FILING
299
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:53,298
TAXES.
WELL, THAT SHOULD MAKE FILING
EASY.
300
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,499
WELL, THAT SHOULD MAKE FILING
EASY.
INSTEAD OF ATTACHING THEIR W2s,
301
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,166
EASY.
INSTEAD OF ATTACHING THEIR W2s,
THEY JUST STAPLE ON A PICTURE OF
302
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:55,967
INSTEAD OF ATTACHING THEIR W2s,
THEY JUST STAPLE ON A PICTURE OF
THEIR LILY-WHITE ASS AND TELL
303
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,168
THEY JUST STAPLE ON A PICTURE OF
THEIR LILY-WHITE ASS AND TELL
THE I.R.S. TO KISS IT.
304
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,904
THEIR LILY-WHITE ASS AND TELL
THE I.R.S. TO KISS IT.
THIS IS PARTICULARLY GALLING
305
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,739
THE I.R.S. TO KISS IT.
THIS IS PARTICULARLY GALLING
WHEN IT COMES O AMAZON C-E-EGG
306
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,007
THIS IS PARTICULARLY GALLING
WHEN IT COMES O AMAZON C-E-EGG
JEFF BEZOS, WHO IN 2007, PAID
307
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,209
WHEN IT COMES O AMAZON C-E-EGG
JEFF BEZOS, WHO IN 2007, PAID
NOTHING IN FEDERAL INCOME TAXES,
308
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:04,943
JEFF BEZOS, WHO IN 2007, PAID
NOTHING IN FEDERAL INCOME TAXES,
EVEN AS HIS COMPANY'S STOCK
309
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,578
NOTHING IN FEDERAL INCOME TAXES,
EVEN AS HIS COMPANY'S STOCK
PRICE DOUBLED.
310
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,880
EVEN AS HIS COMPANY'S STOCK
PRICE DOUBLED.
THAT IS AN OUTRAGE!
311
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:13,818
PRICE DOUBLED.
THAT IS AN OUTRAGE!
THE REVOLUTION STARTS TODAY!
312
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,020
THAT IS AN OUTRAGE!
THE REVOLUTION STARTS TODAY!
OKAY, WE NEED PITCHFORKS AND
313
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,955
THE REVOLUTION STARTS TODAY!
OKAY, WE NEED PITCHFORKS AND
SOME BANNERS!
314
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:20,525
OKAY, WE NEED PITCHFORKS AND
SOME BANNERS!
LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE.
315
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:21,226
SOME BANNERS!
LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE.
WOW, FREE PRIME SHIPPING ON
316
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,294
LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE.
WOW, FREE PRIME SHIPPING ON
SPIKED BASEBALL BATS.
317
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:22,961
WOW, FREE PRIME SHIPPING ON
SPIKED BASEBALL BATS.
OOOH, WHILE I'M ON HERE, I'M OUT
318
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,829
SPIKED BASEBALL BATS.
OOOH, WHILE I'M ON HERE, I'M OUT
OF NESPRESSO PODS.
319
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:25,163
OOOH, WHILE I'M ON HERE, I'M OUT
OF NESPRESSO PODS.
INSPIRATZIONE.
320
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,264
OF NESPRESSO PODS.
INSPIRATZIONE.
WHAT DO I ORDER?
321
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,999
INSPIRATZIONE.
WHAT DO I ORDER?
WHAT'S THE PURPLE ONE?
322
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,301
WHAT DO I ORDER?
WHAT'S THE PURPLE ONE?
OKAY, GOOD.
323
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:31,369
WHAT'S THE PURPLE ONE?
OKAY, GOOD.
WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?
324
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:36,975
OKAY, GOOD.
WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?
OH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
325
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:37,709
WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?
OH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
NOW, IF YOU'RE WONDERING JUST
326
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:41,313
OH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
NOW, IF YOU'RE WONDERING JUST
HOW MUCH NOTHING DID THESE
327
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:42,080
NOW, IF YOU'RE WONDERING JUST
HOW MUCH NOTHING DID THESE
BILLIONAIRES NOT PAY?
328
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,048
HOW MUCH NOTHING DID THESE
BILLIONAIRES NOT PAY?
IT WAS $13.6 BILLION IN FEDERAL
329
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,216
BILLIONAIRES NOT PAY?
IT WAS $13.6 BILLION IN FEDERAL
INCOME TAXES DURING A PERIOD
330
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:49,220
IT WAS $13.6 BILLION IN FEDERAL
INCOME TAXES DURING A PERIOD
WHEN THEIR COLLECTIVE NET WORTH
331
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:49,988
INCOME TAXES DURING A PERIOD
WHEN THEIR COLLECTIVE NET WORTH
INCREASED BY $401 BILLION, WHICH
332
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,390
WHEN THEIR COLLECTIVE NET WORTH
INCREASED BY $401 BILLION, WHICH
IS A TRUE TAX RATE OF 3.4%.
333
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,224
INCREASED BY $401 BILLION, WHICH
IS A TRUE TAX RATE OF 3.4%.
BUT, TO BE FAIR, THEY SPENT A
334
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,159
IS A TRUE TAX RATE OF 3.4%.
BUT, TO BE FAIR, THEY SPENT A
LOT OF THOSE SAVINGS ON
335
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,094
BUT, TO BE FAIR, THEY SPENT A
LOT OF THOSE SAVINGS ON
CHARITABLE WORKS, LIKE BUILDING
336
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,896
LOT OF THOSE SAVINGS ON
CHARITABLE WORKS, LIKE BUILDING
GIANT FLYING PENISES.
337
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,230
CHARITABLE WORKS, LIKE BUILDING
GIANT FLYING PENISES.
THE REASON THE ULTRA RICH CAN
338
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,532
GIANT FLYING PENISES.
THE REASON THE ULTRA RICH CAN
DODGE THE I.R.S. IS BECAUSE OUR
339
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:01,866
THE REASON THE ULTRA RICH CAN
DODGE THE I.R.S. IS BECAUSE OUR
GOVERNMENT PUTS AN EMPHASIS ON
340
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,435
DODGE THE I.R.S. IS BECAUSE OUR
GOVERNMENT PUTS AN EMPHASIS ON
TAXING LABOR INCOME VERSUS
341
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,036
GOVERNMENT PUTS AN EMPHASIS ON
TAXING LABOR INCOME VERSUS
WEALTH.
342
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,338
TAXING LABOR INCOME VERSUS
WEALTH.
AND MUCH OF THE WEALTHY'S WEALTH
343
00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:08,239
WEALTH.
AND MUCH OF THE WEALTHY'S WEALTH
LIES IN THINGS LIKE VACATION
344
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,774
AND MUCH OF THE WEALTHY'S WEALTH
LIES IN THINGS LIKE VACATION
HOMES, YACHTS, AND SHARES IN
345
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,376
LIES IN THINGS LIKE VACATION
HOMES, YACHTS, AND SHARES IN
COMPANIES THEY RUN, WHICH AREN'T
346
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,778
HOMES, YACHTS, AND SHARES IN
COMPANIES THEY RUN, WHICH AREN'T
CONSIDERED TAXABLE INCOME.
347
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:17,983
COMPANIES THEY RUN, WHICH AREN'T
CONSIDERED TAXABLE INCOME.
WHICH IS WHY SMART 8-YEARS-OLDS
348
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:18,717
CONSIDERED TAXABLE INCOME.
WHICH IS WHY SMART 8-YEARS-OLDS
ARE NOW DEMANDING THE TOOTH
349
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:21,252
WHICH IS WHY SMART 8-YEARS-OLDS
ARE NOW DEMANDING THE TOOTH
FAIRY PAY THEM IN TESLA STOCK.
350
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,387
ARE NOW DEMANDING THE TOOTH
FAIRY PAY THEM IN TESLA STOCK.
IN GLOBAL NEWS, YESTERDAY WAS
351
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:23,455
FAIRY PAY THEM IN TESLA STOCK.
IN GLOBAL NEWS, YESTERDAY WAS
"WORLD OCEAN DAY," AND WE GOT A
352
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,624
IN GLOBAL NEWS, YESTERDAY WAS
"WORLD OCEAN DAY," AND WE GOT A
BIG GIFT THIS YEAR, BECAUSE
353
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,459
"WORLD OCEAN DAY," AND WE GOT A
BIG GIFT THIS YEAR, BECAUSE
"NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC" RECOGNIZED
354
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,126
BIG GIFT THIS YEAR, BECAUSE
"NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC" RECOGNIZED
A NEW FIFTH OCEAN!
355
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,327
"NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC" RECOGNIZED
A NEW FIFTH OCEAN!
GREAT.
356
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:33,665
A NEW FIFTH OCEAN!
GREAT.
NOW WE'LL NEVER FIND NEMO!
357
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:40,271
GREAT.
NOW WE'LL NEVER FIND NEMO!
LOOK, I'M SURE THIS IS
358
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:43,642
NOW WE'LL NEVER FIND NEMO!
LOOK, I'M SURE THIS IS
SCIENTIFICALLY IMPORTANT AND
359
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:44,576
LOOK, I'M SURE THIS IS
SCIENTIFICALLY IMPORTANT AND
ALL, BUT COME ON SCIENCE, DID WE
360
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:45,176
SCIENTIFICALLY IMPORTANT AND
ALL, BUT COME ON SCIENCE, DID WE
REALLY NEED A NEW OCEAN?
361
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:45,877
ALL, BUT COME ON SCIENCE, DID WE
REALLY NEED A NEW OCEAN?
NOW I'M GOING TO FEEL OLD!
362
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:46,511
REALLY NEED A NEW OCEAN?
NOW I'M GOING TO FEEL OLD!
I DON'T WANT TO TELL MY
363
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,814
NOW I'M GOING TO FEEL OLD!
I DON'T WANT TO TELL MY
GRANDKIDS,
364
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:50,582
I DON'T WANT TO TELL MY
GRANDKIDS,
"I REMEMBER WHEN THERE WERE ONLY
365
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:51,616
GRANDKIDS,
"I REMEMBER WHEN THERE WERE ONLY
FOUR OCEANS AND MOUNTAINS HAD
366
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:51,883
"I REMEMBER WHEN THERE WERE ONLY
FOUR OCEANS AND MOUNTAINS HAD
GLACIERS!
367
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,586
FOUR OCEANS AND MOUNTAINS HAD
GLACIERS!
AND SOME OF DISNEYWORLD WAS
368
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,554
GLACIERS!
AND SOME OF DISNEYWORLD WAS
ABOVE WATER.
369
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,056
AND SOME OF DISNEYWORLD WAS
ABOVE WATER.
NOW HAND ME THE FEEDING TUBE.
370
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,858
ABOVE WATER.
NOW HAND ME THE FEEDING TUBE.
IN THE FUTURE WE EAT OUT OF
371
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:03,228
NOW HAND ME THE FEEDING TUBE.
IN THE FUTURE WE EAT OUT OF
TUBES IS WHAT I'M SELLING THERE.
372
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,596
IN THE FUTURE WE EAT OUT OF
TUBES IS WHAT I'M SELLING THERE.
SO WE GOT THE ATLANTIC, PACIFIC,
373
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:05,997
TUBES IS WHAT I'M SELLING THERE.
SO WE GOT THE ATLANTIC, PACIFIC,
THE INDIAN, THE ARCTIC, AND NOW,
374
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:06,731
SO WE GOT THE ATLANTIC, PACIFIC,
THE INDIAN, THE ARCTIC, AND NOW,
"THE SOUTHERN OCEAN."
375
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,466
THE INDIAN, THE ARCTIC, AND NOW,
"THE SOUTHERN OCEAN."
FOR SOMETHING SO WET, THAT NAME
376
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,768
"THE SOUTHERN OCEAN."
FOR SOMETHING SO WET, THAT NAME
IS KIND OF DRY.
377
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:15,607
FOR SOMETHING SO WET, THAT NAME
IS KIND OF DRY.
PLUS, THEY'RE MISSING A GREAT
378
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:16,541
IS KIND OF DRY.
PLUS, THEY'RE MISSING A GREAT
SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITY HERE.
379
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,543
PLUS, THEY'RE MISSING A GREAT
SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITY HERE.
DADDY COULD GET HIS LIL' PENGUIN
380
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:19,110
SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITY HERE.
DADDY COULD GET HIS LIL' PENGUIN
BEAK WET BY SELLING OFF THE
381
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,879
DADDY COULD GET HIS LIL' PENGUIN
BEAK WET BY SELLING OFF THE
NAMING RIGHTS!
382
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:21,713
BEAK WET BY SELLING OFF THE
NAMING RIGHTS!
MAKE IT "THE OCEAN SPRAY!" OR
383
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,581
NAMING RIGHTS!
MAKE IT "THE OCEAN SPRAY!" OR
"THE PEP-SEA"!
384
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,550
MAKE IT "THE OCEAN SPRAY!" OR
"THE PEP-SEA"!
THE SOUTHERN OCEAN IS MADE UP OF
385
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:26,551
"THE PEP-SEA"!
THE SOUTHERN OCEAN IS MADE UP OF
WHAT WERE PREVIOUSLY KNOWN AS
386
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,053
THE SOUTHERN OCEAN IS MADE UP OF
WHAT WERE PREVIOUSLY KNOWN AS
THE LOWER-MOST PARTS OF THE
387
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,320
WHAT WERE PREVIOUSLY KNOWN AS
THE LOWER-MOST PARTS OF THE
ATLANTIC, PACIFIC, AND INDIAN
388
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:29,954
THE LOWER-MOST PARTS OF THE
ATLANTIC, PACIFIC, AND INDIAN
OCEANS.
389
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,290
ATLANTIC, PACIFIC, AND INDIAN
OCEANS.
OKAY, THAT'S JUST A CLASSIC REAL
390
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:32,590
OCEANS.
OKAY, THAT'S JUST A CLASSIC REAL
ESTATE MOVE.
391
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,025
OKAY, THAT'S JUST A CLASSIC REAL
ESTATE MOVE.
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE PULLING.
392
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,860
ESTATE MOVE.
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE PULLING.
"IT'S A NEW NEIGHBORHOOD AROUND
393
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,930
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE PULLING.
"IT'S A NEW NEIGHBORHOOD AROUND
ANTARCTICA THAT IS IRONICALLY
394
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:43,334
"IT'S A NEW NEIGHBORHOOD AROUND
ANTARCTICA THAT IS IRONICALLY
VERY HOT THESE DAYS.
395
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:44,569
ANTARCTICA THAT IS IRONICALLY
VERY HOT THESE DAYS.
IT'S THE SOUTHERN OCEAN, BUT
396
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,037
VERY HOT THESE DAYS.
IT'S THE SOUTHERN OCEAN, BUT
WE'RE CALLING IT "SO-O.""
397
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,205
IT'S THE SOUTHERN OCEAN, BUT
WE'RE CALLING IT "SO-O.""
NOW THAT OUR NEW OCEAN IS
398
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,139
WE'RE CALLING IT "SO-O.""
NOW THAT OUR NEW OCEAN IS
OFFICIAL, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
399
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:48,773
NOW THAT OUR NEW OCEAN IS
OFFICIAL, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
SAID THEY WOULD PUT IT ON ITS
400
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,175
OFFICIAL, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
SAID THEY WOULD PUT IT ON ITS
MAPS AND GLOBES.
401
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:50,975
SAID THEY WOULD PUT IT ON ITS
MAPS AND GLOBES.
CLASSIC PLOY BY BIG GLOBE TO
402
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:54,212
MAPS AND GLOBES.
CLASSIC PLOY BY BIG GLOBE TO
PUSH PRODUCT.
403
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:54,946
CLASSIC PLOY BY BIG GLOBE TO
PUSH PRODUCT.
SAME REASON THAT EAST AND WEST
404
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:58,950
PUSH PRODUCT.
SAME REASON THAT EAST AND WEST
GERMANY REUNITED.
405
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,085
SAME REASON THAT EAST AND WEST
GERMANY REUNITED.
NOW WE'VE ALL GOT TO BUY NEW
406
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:00,985
GERMANY REUNITED.
NOW WE'VE ALL GOT TO BUY NEW
GLOBES AND THROW OUR OLD ONES IN
407
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:01,619
NOW WE'VE ALL GOT TO BUY NEW
GLOBES AND THROW OUR OLD ONES IN
THE OCEAN-- I'M SORRY, THE NEW
408
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:02,687
GLOBES AND THROW OUR OLD ONES IN
THE OCEAN-- I'M SORRY, THE NEW
OCEAN.
409
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,055
THE OCEAN-- I'M SORRY, THE NEW
OCEAN.
ANYWAY, IT IS A NEW OCEAN, AND I
410
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,291
OCEAN.
ANYWAY, IT IS A NEW OCEAN, AND I
WANT TO MAKE IT FEEL WELCOME
411
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,294
ANYWAY, IT IS A NEW OCEAN, AND I
WANT TO MAKE IT FEEL WELCOME
HERE ON EARTH, SO I GOT
412
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:12,597
WANT TO MAKE IT FEEL WELCOME
HERE ON EARTH, SO I GOT
IT A SEA-WARMING GIFT: THIS
413
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:13,531
HERE ON EARTH, SO I GOT
IT A SEA-WARMING GIFT: THIS
EMPTY DASANI BOTTLE.
414
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,165
IT A SEA-WARMING GIFT: THIS
EMPTY DASANI BOTTLE.
IT'S TO HELP YOU GET STARTED ON
415
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,000
EMPTY DASANI BOTTLE.
IT'S TO HELP YOU GET STARTED ON
YOUR GARBAGE PATCH.
416
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,636
IT'S TO HELP YOU GET STARTED ON
YOUR GARBAGE PATCH.
AND THERE IT GOES!
417
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:19,404
YOUR GARBAGE PATCH.
AND THERE IT GOES!
BYE!
418
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,172
AND THERE IT GOES!
BYE!
SEE YOU IN THE RIVER!
419
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,574
BYE!
SEE YOU IN THE RIVER!
AND, OF COURSE, A PRICELESS
420
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,909
SEE YOU IN THE RIVER!
AND, OF COURSE, A PRICELESS
NECKLACE WITH A TRAGIC ROMANTIC
421
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:29,781
AND, OF COURSE, A PRICELESS
NECKLACE WITH A TRAGIC ROMANTIC
STORY ATTACHED TO IT.
422
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:33,618
NECKLACE WITH A TRAGIC ROMANTIC
STORY ATTACHED TO IT.
♪ WHEREVER YOU ARE ♪
423
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,286
STORY ATTACHED TO IT.
♪ WHEREVER YOU ARE ♪
WE ALL REMEMBER A FEW YEARS BACK
424
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,722
♪ WHEREVER YOU ARE ♪
WE ALL REMEMBER A FEW YEARS BACK
WHEN FORMER NEW YORK CONGRESSMAN
425
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,390
WE ALL REMEMBER A FEW YEARS BACK
WHEN FORMER NEW YORK CONGRESSMAN
ANTHONY WEINER WAS ROCKED BY A
426
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,292
WHEN FORMER NEW YORK CONGRESSMAN
ANTHONY WEINER WAS ROCKED BY A
TWITTER SCANDAL IN WHICH ANTHONY
427
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:46,297
ANTHONY WEINER WAS ROCKED BY A
TWITTER SCANDAL IN WHICH ANTHONY
SHOWED HIS WEINER.
428
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,198
TWITTER SCANDAL IN WHICH ANTHONY
SHOWED HIS WEINER.
IT WAS THE MOST ON-THE-NOSE
429
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,433
SHOWED HIS WEINER.
IT WAS THE MOST ON-THE-NOSE
POLITICAL SEX SCANDAL SINCE THE
430
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,033
IT WAS THE MOST ON-THE-NOSE
POLITICAL SEX SCANDAL SINCE THE
RESIGNATION OF NEW HAMPSHIRE
431
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:49,434
POLITICAL SEX SCANDAL SINCE THE
RESIGNATION OF NEW HAMPSHIRE
SENATOR "ALEXANDER
432
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,168
RESIGNATION OF NEW HAMPSHIRE
SENATOR "ALEXANDER
SHEEP-FONDLER."
433
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,536
SENATOR "ALEXANDER
SHEEP-FONDLER."
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE OLD TONY
434
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:52,303
SHEEP-FONDLER."
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE OLD TONY
WEINER IS HARD UP FOR CASH,
435
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,738
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE OLD TONY
WEINER IS HARD UP FOR CASH,
BECAUSE WE JUST LEARNED THAT HE
436
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,106
WEINER IS HARD UP FOR CASH,
BECAUSE WE JUST LEARNED THAT HE
MAY SELL HIS INFAMOUS "CROTCH
437
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,709
BECAUSE WE JUST LEARNED THAT HE
MAY SELL HIS INFAMOUS "CROTCH
SHOT" AS AN N.F.T.
438
00:12:57,711 --> 00:12:59,844
MAY SELL HIS INFAMOUS "CROTCH
SHOT" AS AN N.F.T.
NOW, N.F.T. STANDS FOR
439
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:00,912
SHOT" AS AN N.F.T.
NOW, N.F.T. STANDS FOR
"NON-FUNGIBLE TOKEN" AND NOT, AS
440
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:01,579
NOW, N.F.T. STANDS FOR
"NON-FUNGIBLE TOKEN" AND NOT, AS
I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT,
441
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,114
"NON-FUNGIBLE TOKEN" AND NOT, AS
I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT,
"NON-FLOPPY TALLYWHACKER."
442
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,783
I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT,
"NON-FLOPPY TALLYWHACKER."
BASICALLY, WEINER IS HOPING THAT
443
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,184
"NON-FLOPPY TALLYWHACKER."
BASICALLY, WEINER IS HOPING THAT
HAVING EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO HIS
444
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,086
BASICALLY, WEINER IS HOPING THAT
HAVING EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO HIS
FAMOUS PHOTO WILL BRING IN TONS
445
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,955
HAVING EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO HIS
FAMOUS PHOTO WILL BRING IN TONS
OF CASH, WHICH MAKES SENSE.
446
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:11,823
FAMOUS PHOTO WILL BRING IN TONS
OF CASH, WHICH MAKES SENSE.
BECAUSE THE ONLY OTHER WAY YOU
447
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:12,757
OF CASH, WHICH MAKES SENSE.
BECAUSE THE ONLY OTHER WAY YOU
COULD GET A PHOTO OF ANTHONY
448
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:13,725
BECAUSE THE ONLY OTHER WAY YOU
COULD GET A PHOTO OF ANTHONY
WEINER'S JUNK IS TO BE A TEENAGE
449
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:14,659
COULD GET A PHOTO OF ANTHONY
WEINER'S JUNK IS TO BE A TEENAGE
GIRL ON TWITTER.
450
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:15,293
WEINER'S JUNK IS TO BE A TEENAGE
GIRL ON TWITTER.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE PHOTO I WANT
451
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,529
GIRL ON TWITTER.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE PHOTO I WANT
TO TALK ABOUT.
452
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,497
BUT THAT'S NOT THE PHOTO I WANT
TO TALK ABOUT.
NO, IT'S THE PHOTO THAT THE "NEW
453
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,665
TO TALK ABOUT.
NO, IT'S THE PHOTO THAT THE "NEW
YORK POST" RAN WITH THEIR STORY,
454
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,234
NO, IT'S THE PHOTO THAT THE "NEW
YORK POST" RAN WITH THEIR STORY,
SHOWING ANTHONY WEINER IN A
455
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:28,540
YORK POST" RAN WITH THEIR STORY,
SHOWING ANTHONY WEINER IN A
T-SHIRT THAT SAYS "L.S.S.C.,"
456
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,542
SHOWING ANTHONY WEINER IN A
T-SHIRT THAT SAYS "L.S.S.C.,"
WHICH STANDS FOR "THE LATE SHOW
457
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:31,109
T-SHIRT THAT SAYS "L.S.S.C.,"
WHICH STANDS FOR "THE LATE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT"!
458
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,278
WHICH STANDS FOR "THE LATE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT"!
COME ON, ANTHONY!
459
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,646
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT"!
COME ON, ANTHONY!
CAN'T YOU WEAR ANY OTHER SHIRT?
460
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:35,413
COME ON, ANTHONY!
CAN'T YOU WEAR ANY OTHER SHIRT?
OR EVEN WEAR NO SHIRT AT ALL!
461
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:35,914
CAN'T YOU WEAR ANY OTHER SHIRT?
OR EVEN WEAR NO SHIRT AT ALL!
WAIT A MINUTE.
462
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:38,449
OR EVEN WEAR NO SHIRT AT ALL!
WAIT A MINUTE.
JIM, CAN YOU ZOOM IN?
463
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:39,317
WAIT A MINUTE.
JIM, CAN YOU ZOOM IN?
DAMMIT!
464
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,051
JIM, CAN YOU ZOOM IN?
DAMMIT!
YOU GOT IT TATTOOED?
465
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:46,457
DAMMIT!
YOU GOT IT TATTOOED?
LOOK, ANTHONY, I KNOW YOU'RE
466
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,058
YOU GOT IT TATTOOED?
LOOK, ANTHONY, I KNOW YOU'RE
DOWN ON YOUR LUCK RIGHT NOW.
467
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,360
LOOK, ANTHONY, I KNOW YOU'RE
DOWN ON YOUR LUCK RIGHT NOW.
YOU WOULD BE ON "ONLYFANS" IF
468
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,261
DOWN ON YOUR LUCK RIGHT NOW.
YOU WOULD BE ON "ONLYFANS" IF
YOU ONLY HAD FANS.
469
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,130
YOU WOULD BE ON "ONLYFANS" IF
YOU ONLY HAD FANS.
SO MAYBE YOU CAN'T AFFORD A
470
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,832
YOU ONLY HAD FANS.
SO MAYBE YOU CAN'T AFFORD A
T-SHIRT, SO I'M GOING TO SEND
471
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:59,137
SO MAYBE YOU CAN'T AFFORD A
T-SHIRT, SO I'M GOING TO SEND
YOU A NEW ONE, OKAY.
472
00:13:59,139 --> 00:13:59,804
T-SHIRT, SO I'M GOING TO SEND
YOU A NEW ONE, OKAY.
THIS "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"
473
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:00,305
YOU A NEW ONE, OKAY.
THIS "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"
T-SHIRT, FREE OF CHARGE!
474
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:01,206
THIS "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"
T-SHIRT, FREE OF CHARGE!
AND AS ALWAYS, ON THE BACK IT
475
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:01,840
T-SHIRT, FREE OF CHARGE!
AND AS ALWAYS, ON THE BACK IT
SAYS, "THE OFFICIAL TALK SHOW OF
476
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:04,042
AND AS ALWAYS, ON THE BACK IT
SAYS, "THE OFFICIAL TALK SHOW OF
ANTHONY WEINER'S PENIS!"
477
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:04,843
SAYS, "THE OFFICIAL TALK SHOW OF
ANTHONY WEINER'S PENIS!"
( LAUGHTER )
478
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:08,046
ANTHONY WEINER'S PENIS!"
( LAUGHTER )
YOU'RE WELCOME, JIMMY!
479
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,147
( LAUGHTER )
YOU'RE WELCOME, JIMMY!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
480
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:09,380
YOU'RE WELCOME, JIMMY!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
481
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,048
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE SAMUEL L. JACKSON
482
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:10,748
TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE SAMUEL L. JACKSON
AND PADMA LAKSHMI.
483
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:11,816
MY GUESTS ARE SAMUEL L. JACKSON
AND PADMA LAKSHMI.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, DO
484
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,318
AND PADMA LAKSHMI.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, DO
VACCINES MAKE YOUR BLOOD
485
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,386
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, DO
VACCINES MAKE YOUR BLOOD
MAGNETIC?
486
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,021
VACCINES MAKE YOUR BLOOD
MAGNETIC?
THE ANSWER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU,
487
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,056
MAGNETIC?
THE ANSWER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU,
BUT I HOPE IT DOESN'T.
488
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:21,392
THE ANSWER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU,
BUT I HOPE IT DOESN'T.
STICK AROUND!
489
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,026
BUT I HOPE IT DOESN'T.
STICK AROUND!
♪ ♪ ♪
490
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:25,263
STICK AROUND!
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
491
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:48,219
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
492
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,822
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY!
493
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:53,324
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY!
THANKS TO THE READILY-AVAILABLE
494
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:53,958
EVERYBODY!
THANKS TO THE READILY-AVAILABLE
COVID VACCINE, AMERICANS ARE
495
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:54,559
THANKS TO THE READILY-AVAILABLE
COVID VACCINE, AMERICANS ARE
BACK TO ENJOYING OUR FAVORITE
496
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,994
COVID VACCINE, AMERICANS ARE
BACK TO ENJOYING OUR FAVORITE
SUMMER SOCIAL ACTIVITIES: FAMILY
497
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,595
BACK TO ENJOYING OUR FAVORITE
SUMMER SOCIAL ACTIVITIES: FAMILY
REUNIONS, POOL PARTIES, SHOVING
498
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,364
SUMMER SOCIAL ACTIVITIES: FAMILY
REUNIONS, POOL PARTIES, SHOVING
YOUR FAMILY IN THE POOL.
499
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,698
REUNIONS, POOL PARTIES, SHOVING
YOUR FAMILY IN THE POOL.
AND I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE LATEST
500
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,766
YOUR FAMILY IN THE POOL.
AND I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE LATEST
VAX FACTS IN MY LONG-RUNNING
501
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,968
AND I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE LATEST
VAX FACTS IN MY LONG-RUNNING
SEGMENT, "THE VAX-SCENE."
502
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,670
VAX FACTS IN MY LONG-RUNNING
SEGMENT, "THE VAX-SCENE."
( SUNG TO THE PROCLAIMERS' "500
503
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:06,738
SEGMENT, "THE VAX-SCENE."
( SUNG TO THE PROCLAIMERS' "500
MILES" )
504
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,874
( SUNG TO THE PROCLAIMERS' "500
MILES" )
♪ WHEN WE POKE YA,
505
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:10,808
MILES" )
♪ WHEN WE POKE YA,
WELL WE KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE,
506
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,377
♪ WHEN WE POKE YA,
WELL WE KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE,
♪ YOU'REGONNA BE
507
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,946
WELL WE KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE,
♪ YOU'REGONNA BE
SAFE FROM COVID INFECTING YOU
508
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,447
♪ YOU'REGONNA BE
SAFE FROM COVID INFECTING YOU
♪ WHEN YOU GO OUT,
509
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,049
SAFE FROM COVID INFECTING YOU
♪ WHEN YOU GO OUT,
YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA HUG
510
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:18,750
♪ WHEN YOU GO OUT,
YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA HUG
♪ YOU'RE GONNA HUG,
511
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,952
YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA HUG
♪ YOU'RE GONNA HUG,
AND NOT WORRY IT MIGHT KILL
512
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,788
♪ YOU'RE GONNA HUG,
AND NOT WORRY IT MIGHT KILL
YOU
513
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:27,725
AND NOT WORRY IT MIGHT KILL
YOU
♪ AND WE WILL SHOOT 500 VIALS
514
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,662
YOU
♪ AND WE WILL SHOOT 500 VIALS
AND WE WILL STICK 500 MORE
515
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:32,230
♪ AND WE WILL SHOOT 500 VIALS
AND WE WILL STICK 500 MORE
♪ JUST TO BE THE VAX WHO SHOOTS
516
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:35,033
AND WE WILL STICK 500 MORE
♪ JUST TO BE THE VAX WHO SHOOTS
500 VIALS
517
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:35,934
♪ JUST TO BE THE VAX WHO SHOOTS
500 VIALS
♪ WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
518
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,635
500 VIALS
♪ WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
GET PFIZER!
519
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:42,607
♪ WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
GET PFIZER!
♪ MODERNA!
520
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,976
GET PFIZER!
♪ MODERNA!
JOHNSON & JOHNSON!
521
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:54,719
♪ MODERNA!
JOHNSON & JOHNSON!
♪ STOP CORONAAAA!
522
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,054
JOHNSON & JOHNSON!
♪ STOP CORONAAAA!
>> Stephen: NOW, WE'RE DAMN
523
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,655
♪ STOP CORONAAAA!
>> Stephen: NOW, WE'RE DAMN
CLOSE TO PRESIDENT BIDEN'S
524
00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:02,794
>> Stephen: NOW, WE'RE DAMN
CLOSE TO PRESIDENT BIDEN'S
GOAL OF 70% OF AMERICAN ADULTS
525
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:03,728
CLOSE TO PRESIDENT BIDEN'S
GOAL OF 70% OF AMERICAN ADULTS
GETTING VACINATED BY JULY 4.
526
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:04,963
GOAL OF 70% OF AMERICAN ADULTS
GETTING VACINATED BY JULY 4.
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, THE NUMBER
527
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:05,663
GETTING VACINATED BY JULY 4.
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, THE NUMBER
OF DOSES BEING ADMINISTERED
528
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,230
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, THE NUMBER
OF DOSES BEING ADMINISTERED
DAILY IS ON A STEEP DECLINE.
529
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,366
OF DOSES BEING ADMINISTERED
DAILY IS ON A STEEP DECLINE.
COME ON, PEOPLE!
530
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,267
DAILY IS ON A STEEP DECLINE.
COME ON, PEOPLE!
JUST GET THE SHOT!
531
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,868
COME ON, PEOPLE!
JUST GET THE SHOT!
IF I HAD TIME TO SPEAK DIRECTLY
532
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,136
JUST GET THE SHOT!
IF I HAD TIME TO SPEAK DIRECTLY
TO EACH OF YOU ON NATIONAL
533
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:15,373
IF I HAD TIME TO SPEAK DIRECTLY
TO EACH OF YOU ON NATIONAL
TELEVISION, I WOULD!
534
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,107
TO EACH OF YOU ON NATIONAL
TELEVISION, I WOULD!
OH, WHICH REMINDS ME, I'M
535
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,008
TELEVISION, I WOULD!
OH, WHICH REMINDS ME, I'M
SUPPOSED TO PASS ALONG A
536
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,443
OH, WHICH REMINDS ME, I'M
SUPPOSED TO PASS ALONG A
MESSAGE:
537
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,377
SUPPOSED TO PASS ALONG A
MESSAGE:
"UNCLE JEFF, PLEASE GET THE
538
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,913
MESSAGE:
"UNCLE JEFF, PLEASE GET THE
VACCINE.
539
00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:22,914
"UNCLE JEFF, PLEASE GET THE
VACCINE.
OTHERWISE, YOU CAN'T COME TO MY
540
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,248
VACCINE.
OTHERWISE, YOU CAN'T COME TO MY
HEAD WRITER'S WEDDING!
541
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,149
OTHERWISE, YOU CAN'T COME TO MY
HEAD WRITER'S WEDDING!
THERE'S GONNA BE A SHRIMP
542
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:30,421
HEAD WRITER'S WEDDING!
THERE'S GONNA BE A SHRIMP
TOWER!"
543
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,123
THERE'S GONNA BE A SHRIMP
TOWER!"
ONE PROBLEM: ANTI-VAX THEORIES
544
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,791
TOWER!"
ONE PROBLEM: ANTI-VAX THEORIES
ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE TO
545
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,259
ONE PROBLEM: ANTI-VAX THEORIES
ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE TO
CRAZYTOWN, LIKE THE THEORY
546
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:37,128
ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE TO
CRAZYTOWN, LIKE THE THEORY
PULLED FROM THE ASS OF SOMEONE
547
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,696
CRAZYTOWN, LIKE THE THEORY
PULLED FROM THE ASS OF SOMEONE
TESTIFYING BEFORE AN OHIO HEALTH
548
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,431
PULLED FROM THE ASS OF SOMEONE
TESTIFYING BEFORE AN OHIO HEALTH
COMMITTEE HEARING NAMED
549
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,733
TESTIFYING BEFORE AN OHIO HEALTH
COMMITTEE HEARING NAMED
DR. SHERRI TENPENNY.
550
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:42,834
COMMITTEE HEARING NAMED
DR. SHERRI TENPENNY.
ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR
551
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,402
DR. SHERRI TENPENNY.
ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR
DOCTOR SOUNDS LIKE A DICKENS
552
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:44,669
ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR
DOCTOR SOUNDS LIKE A DICKENS
CHARACTER.
553
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,104
DOCTOR SOUNDS LIKE A DICKENS
CHARACTER.
( AS OLIVER TWIST )
554
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,672
CHARACTER.
( AS OLIVER TWIST )
"PLEASE, DR. TENPENNY, I'VE JUST
555
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,173
( AS OLIVER TWIST )
"PLEASE, DR. TENPENNY, I'VE JUST
GOT A SPOT OF DROPSY.
556
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,176
"PLEASE, DR. TENPENNY, I'VE JUST
GOT A SPOT OF DROPSY.
DON'T TAKE ME LEGS."
557
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,378
GOT A SPOT OF DROPSY.
DON'T TAKE ME LEGS."
( LAUGHTER )
558
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,679
DON'T TAKE ME LEGS."
( LAUGHTER )
DURING A HEARING ON A BILL THAT
559
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:58,349
( LAUGHTER )
DURING A HEARING ON A BILL THAT
WOULD BAN PRIVATE ENTITIES FROM
560
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,951
DURING A HEARING ON A BILL THAT
WOULD BAN PRIVATE ENTITIES FROM
REQUIRING VACCINATIONS-- SEE YOU
561
00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:03,054
WOULD BAN PRIVATE ENTITIES FROM
REQUIRING VACCINATIONS-- SEE YOU
MONDAY--
562
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:03,821
REQUIRING VACCINATIONS-- SEE YOU
MONDAY--
THE OHIO G.O.P. INVITED TENPENNY
563
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:04,455
MONDAY--
THE OHIO G.O.P. INVITED TENPENNY
TO OFFER THIS PENETRATING
564
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,323
THE OHIO G.O.P. INVITED TENPENNY
TO OFFER THIS PENETRATING
ANALYSIS:
565
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,190
TO OFFER THIS PENETRATING
ANALYSIS:
>> I'M SURE YOU'VE SEEN THE
566
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:06,924
ANALYSIS:
>> I'M SURE YOU'VE SEEN THE
PICTURES ALL OVER THE INTERNET
567
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:07,492
>> I'M SURE YOU'VE SEEN THE
PICTURES ALL OVER THE INTERNET
OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD THESE
568
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:08,326
PICTURES ALL OVER THE INTERNET
OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD THESE
SHOTS, AND NOW THEY'RE
569
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:08,626
OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD THESE
SHOTS, AND NOW THEY'RE
MAGNETIZED.
570
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,260
SHOTS, AND NOW THEY'RE
MAGNETIZED.
THEY CAN PUT A KEY ON THEIR
571
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:09,527
MAGNETIZED.
THEY CAN PUT A KEY ON THEIR
FOREHEAD.
572
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,061
THEY CAN PUT A KEY ON THEIR
FOREHEAD.
IT STICKS.
573
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,362
FOREHEAD.
IT STICKS.
THEY CAN PUT SPOONS AND FORKS
574
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,363
IT STICKS.
THEY CAN PUT SPOONS AND FORKS
ALL OVER THEM, AND THEY CAN
575
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,331
THEY CAN PUT SPOONS AND FORKS
ALL OVER THEM, AND THEY CAN
STICK, BECAUSE NOW WE THINK THAT
576
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,600
ALL OVER THEM, AND THEY CAN
STICK, BECAUSE NOW WE THINK THAT
THERE'S A METAL PIECE TO THAT.
577
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,368
STICK, BECAUSE NOW WE THINK THAT
THERE'S A METAL PIECE TO THAT.
>> Stephen: OH, MY GOD!!
578
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,670
THERE'S A METAL PIECE TO THAT.
>> Stephen: OH, MY GOD!!
SHE'S RIGHT!
579
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,072
>> Stephen: OH, MY GOD!!
SHE'S RIGHT!
IT'S THE DREADED "THANKSGIVING
580
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:24,008
SHE'S RIGHT!
IT'S THE DREADED "THANKSGIVING
KIDS' TABLE SYNDROME."
581
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:24,842
IT'S THE DREADED "THANKSGIVING
KIDS' TABLE SYNDROME."
AAAH!
582
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,912
KIDS' TABLE SYNDROME."
AAAH!
AAAH!
583
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,547
AAAH!
AAAH!
MAY I REMIND YOU, THIS PERSON
584
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,181
AAAH!
MAY I REMIND YOU, THIS PERSON
ACTUALLY CALLS HERSELF A DOCTOR.
585
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,383
MAY I REMIND YOU, THIS PERSON
ACTUALLY CALLS HERSELF A DOCTOR.
HER MED SCHOOL?
586
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,918
ACTUALLY CALLS HERSELF A DOCTOR.
HER MED SCHOOL?
THE UNIVERSITY OF WOOLY WILLY!
587
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,953
HER MED SCHOOL?
THE UNIVERSITY OF WOOLY WILLY!
GO, FIGHTIN' FILINGS!
588
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:44,362
THE UNIVERSITY OF WOOLY WILLY!
GO, FIGHTIN' FILINGS!
THEN THEY OPENED THE FLOOR TO
589
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,163
GO, FIGHTIN' FILINGS!
THEN THEY OPENED THE FLOOR TO
THE MOST SCIENTIFIC RELIABLE
590
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:45,930
THEN THEY OPENED THE FLOOR TO
THE MOST SCIENTIFIC RELIABLE
SOURCE: PEOPLE WITH TIME ON
591
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:46,564
THE MOST SCIENTIFIC RELIABLE
SOURCE: PEOPLE WITH TIME ON
THEIR HANDS TO COMMENT AT PUBLIC
592
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:46,898
SOURCE: PEOPLE WITH TIME ON
THEIR HANDS TO COMMENT AT PUBLIC
HEARINGS.
593
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:47,532
THEIR HANDS TO COMMENT AT PUBLIC
HEARINGS.
AND TENPENNY'S TESTIMONY WAS
594
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,833
HEARINGS.
AND TENPENNY'S TESTIMONY WAS
BACKED UP WITH A DRAMATIC
595
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:49,233
AND TENPENNY'S TESTIMONY WAS
BACKED UP WITH A DRAMATIC
EXPERIMENT:
596
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,435
BACKED UP WITH A DRAMATIC
EXPERIMENT:
>> YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT
597
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,403
EXPERIMENT:
>> YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT
DR. TENPENNY'S TESTIMONY, ABOUT
598
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,938
>> YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT
DR. TENPENNY'S TESTIMONY, ABOUT
MAGNETIC VACCINE CRYSTALS.
599
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,206
DR. TENPENNY'S TESTIMONY, ABOUT
MAGNETIC VACCINE CRYSTALS.
SO THIS IS WHAT I FOUND OUT.
600
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:58,443
MAGNETIC VACCINE CRYSTALS.
SO THIS IS WHAT I FOUND OUT.
SO, I HAVE A KEY AND A BOBBY PIN
601
00:17:58,445 --> 00:17:59,644
SO THIS IS WHAT I FOUND OUT.
SO, I HAVE A KEY AND A BOBBY PIN
HERE.
602
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:00,845
SO, I HAVE A KEY AND A BOBBY PIN
HERE.
EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE KEY STICKS
603
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:04,849
HERE.
EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE KEY STICKS
TO ME.
604
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:11,556
EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE KEY STICKS
TO ME.
IT STICKS TO MY NECK TOO.
605
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,423
TO ME.
IT STICKS TO MY NECK TOO.
SO, YEAH, IF SOMEBODY COULD
606
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,191
IT STICKS TO MY NECK TOO.
SO, YEAH, IF SOMEBODY COULD
EXPLAIN THIS, THAT WOULD BE
607
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:16,928
SO, YEAH, IF SOMEBODY COULD
EXPLAIN THIS, THAT WOULD BE
GREAT.
608
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:24,836
EXPLAIN THIS, THAT WOULD BE
GREAT.
ANY QUESTIONS?
609
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:25,436
GREAT.
ANY QUESTIONS?
>> Stephen: SO MANY QUESTIONS.
610
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,070
ANY QUESTIONS?
>> Stephen: SO MANY QUESTIONS.
NONE OF THEM ABOUT THAT KEY,
611
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:27,105
>> Stephen: SO MANY QUESTIONS.
NONE OF THEM ABOUT THAT KEY,
THOUGH.
612
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:27,905
NONE OF THEM ABOUT THAT KEY,
THOUGH.
OF COURSE, THAT WASN'T THE BEST
613
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,140
THOUGH.
OF COURSE, THAT WASN'T THE BEST
EXAMPLE OF MAGNETISM.
614
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,775
OF COURSE, THAT WASN'T THE BEST
EXAMPLE OF MAGNETISM.
BUT THE NEXT SPEAKER, A MAN
615
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:31,442
EXAMPLE OF MAGNETISM.
BUT THE NEXT SPEAKER, A MAN
CALLED ERNEST, HAD AN ABSOLUTELY
616
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:36,848
BUT THE NEXT SPEAKER, A MAN
CALLED ERNEST, HAD AN ABSOLUTELY
STUNNING DEMONSTRATION.
617
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:44,722
CALLED ERNEST, HAD AN ABSOLUTELY
STUNNING DEMONSTRATION.
♪ ♪ ♪
618
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:45,523
STUNNING DEMONSTRATION.
♪ ♪ ♪
OF COURSE, NOW YOU KNOW THE
619
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:46,157
♪ ♪ ♪
OF COURSE, NOW YOU KNOW THE
AUTHORITIES ARE GOING TO TRY TO
620
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:46,524
OF COURSE, NOW YOU KNOW THE
AUTHORITIES ARE GOING TO TRY TO
SILENCE HIM.
621
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:48,459
AUTHORITIES ARE GOING TO TRY TO
SILENCE HIM.
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF
622
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:48,893
SILENCE HIM.
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF
ERNEST GOES TO JAIL.
623
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:49,660
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF
ERNEST GOES TO JAIL.
( LAUGHTER )
624
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:50,294
ERNEST GOES TO JAIL.
( LAUGHTER )
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SAMUEL
625
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,431
( LAUGHTER )
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SAMUEL
L. JACKSON.
626
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:05,810
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
627
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,879
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
628
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,113
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
MY FIRST GUEST HAS STARRED IN
629
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:09,914
EVERYBODY.
MY FIRST GUEST HAS STARRED IN
NEARLY 150 MOVIES!
630
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,482
MY FIRST GUEST HAS STARRED IN
NEARLY 150 MOVIES!
YOU KNOW HIM FROM "PULP
631
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,350
NEARLY 150 MOVIES!
YOU KNOW HIM FROM "PULP
FICTION," THE MARVEL CINEMATIC
632
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:13,718
YOU KNOW HIM FROM "PULP
FICTION," THE MARVEL CINEMATIC
UNIVERSE, AND NOW, "THE
633
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,486
FICTION," THE MARVEL CINEMATIC
UNIVERSE, AND NOW, "THE
HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD."
634
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,788
UNIVERSE, AND NOW, "THE
HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE
635
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,658
HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE
SHOW," SAMUEL L. JACKSON!
636
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,626
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE
SHOW," SAMUEL L. JACKSON!
HELLO, SAMUEL L.
637
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,728
SHOW," SAMUEL L. JACKSON!
HELLO, SAMUEL L.
>> HELLO, STEPHEN.
638
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,129
HELLO, SAMUEL L.
>> HELLO, STEPHEN.
GLAD TO BE BACK.
639
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:25,730
>> HELLO, STEPHEN.
GLAD TO BE BACK.
HOW ARE THINGS?
640
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,365
GLAD TO BE BACK.
HOW ARE THINGS?
>> Stephen: THINGS ARE GOOD,
641
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,432
HOW ARE THINGS?
>> Stephen: THINGS ARE GOOD,
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED.
642
00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:31,169
>> Stephen: THINGS ARE GOOD,
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED.
WE HAVE NOT SEEN EACH OTHER
643
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,670
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED.
WE HAVE NOT SEEN EACH OTHER
SINCE THE START OF COVID.
644
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,739
WE HAVE NOT SEEN EACH OTHER
SINCE THE START OF COVID.
WE HAVE NOT SEEN SINCE THIS ALL
645
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:34,906
SINCE THE START OF COVID.
WE HAVE NOT SEEN SINCE THIS ALL
HIT.
646
00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:35,840
WE HAVE NOT SEEN SINCE THIS ALL
HIT.
>> IS THAT RIGHT.
647
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:36,541
HIT.
>> IS THAT RIGHT.
>> Stephen: 15 MONTHS,
648
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,808
>> IS THAT RIGHT.
>> Stephen: 15 MONTHS,
SOMETHING LIKE THE FALL, OR
649
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,677
>> Stephen: 15 MONTHS,
SOMETHING LIKE THE FALL, OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT, OF 2019.
650
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,913
SOMETHING LIKE THE FALL, OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT, OF 2019.
NOW, YOU ARE ONE OF THE HARDEST
651
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:44,015
SOMETHING LIKE THAT, OF 2019.
NOW, YOU ARE ONE OF THE HARDEST
WORKING MEN IN SHOW BUSINESS, AS
652
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,917
NOW, YOU ARE ONE OF THE HARDEST
WORKING MEN IN SHOW BUSINESS, AS
I SAID, 150 MOVIES ALMOST.
653
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,418
WORKING MEN IN SHOW BUSINESS, AS
I SAID, 150 MOVIES ALMOST.
YOU'RE TRAVELING ALL THE TIME,
654
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,519
I SAID, 150 MOVIES ALMOST.
YOU'RE TRAVELING ALL THE TIME,
ALWAYS PLAYING GOLF.
655
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:49,554
YOU'RE TRAVELING ALL THE TIME,
ALWAYS PLAYING GOLF.
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOURSELF
656
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,122
ALWAYS PLAYING GOLF.
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOURSELF
WHEN ALL OF THAT WAS NOT
657
00:19:51,124 --> 00:19:51,956
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOURSELF
WHEN ALL OF THAT WAS NOT
AVAILABLE FOR A YEAR?
658
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,858
WHEN ALL OF THAT WAS NOT
AVAILABLE FOR A YEAR?
HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT?
659
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,493
AVAILABLE FOR A YEAR?
HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT?
>> INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, I DID A
660
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:58,296
HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT?
>> INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, I DID A
LOT OF STUFF AT HOME IN MY
661
00:19:58,298 --> 00:19:58,663
>> INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, I DID A
LOT OF STUFF AT HOME IN MY
SCREENING ROOM.
662
00:19:58,665 --> 00:19:59,096
LOT OF STUFF AT HOME IN MY
SCREENING ROOM.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
663
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:02,333
SCREENING ROOM.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I DID SOME VOICEOVERS.
664
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,001
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I DID SOME VOICEOVERS.
I TRIED TO COMPLETE THIS
665
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,003
>> I DID SOME VOICEOVERS.
I TRIED TO COMPLETE THIS
ANIMATED FILM THAT I'VE BEEN
666
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,473
I TRIED TO COMPLETE THIS
ANIMATED FILM THAT I'VE BEEN
DOING FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS.
667
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:13,444
ANIMATED FILM THAT I'VE BEEN
DOING FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS.
I DID ZOOM TELEVISION SERIES IN
668
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:16,681
DOING FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS.
I DID ZOOM TELEVISION SERIES IN
LONDON WITH SOME GUYS.
669
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:19,183
I DID ZOOM TELEVISION SERIES IN
LONDON WITH SOME GUYS.
AND I DID DO-- WE MANAGED
670
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:22,019
LONDON WITH SOME GUYS.
AND I DID DO-- WE MANAGED
SOMEHOW TO GET THOSE CAPITOL ONE
671
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:22,486
AND I DID DO-- WE MANAGED
SOMEHOW TO GET THOSE CAPITOL ONE
COMMERCIALS DONE.
672
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:23,120
SOMEHOW TO GET THOSE CAPITOL ONE
COMMERCIALS DONE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
673
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,789
COMMERCIALS DONE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> CHRISTMAS AND --
674
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,257
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> CHRISTMAS AND --
>> Stephen: SURE, YOU GOTTA
675
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:26,791
>> CHRISTMAS AND --
>> Stephen: SURE, YOU GOTTA
PAY THE BILLS.
676
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,493
>> Stephen: SURE, YOU GOTTA
PAY THE BILLS.
>> AND THE THREE AMIGOS
677
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:29,794
PAY THE BILLS.
>> AND THE THREE AMIGOS
COMMERCIAL.
678
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,162
>> AND THE THREE AMIGOS
COMMERCIAL.
WE GOT DONE SAFELY IN A WAY.
679
00:20:31,164 --> 00:20:33,297
COMMERCIAL.
WE GOT DONE SAFELY IN A WAY.
BUT I ACTUALLY SPENT A LOT OF
680
00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:35,566
WE GOT DONE SAFELY IN A WAY.
BUT I ACTUALLY SPENT A LOT OF
TIME AT HOME DISCOVERING MY
681
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:35,866
BUT I ACTUALLY SPENT A LOT OF
TIME AT HOME DISCOVERING MY
HOUSE.
682
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:36,467
TIME AT HOME DISCOVERING MY
HOUSE.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
683
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,003
HOUSE.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> WELL, I'M ALWAYS GONE, SO
684
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,004
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> WELL, I'M ALWAYS GONE, SO
THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT MY HOUSE
685
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,439
>> WELL, I'M ALWAYS GONE, SO
THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT MY HOUSE
THAT I DID NOT KNOW.
686
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,707
THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT MY HOUSE
THAT I DID NOT KNOW.
>> Stephen: LIKE WHAT?
687
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,809
THAT I DID NOT KNOW.
>> Stephen: LIKE WHAT?
WHAT DID YOU LEARN THAT YOU
688
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:45,243
>> Stephen: LIKE WHAT?
WHAT DID YOU LEARN THAT YOU
DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE?
689
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:49,213
WHAT DID YOU LEARN THAT YOU
DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE?
>> I SPENT A LOT MORE TIME IN MY
690
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:49,614
DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE?
>> I SPENT A LOT MORE TIME IN MY
BACKYARD.
691
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:50,615
>> I SPENT A LOT MORE TIME IN MY
BACKYARD.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS
692
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,216
BACKYARD.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS
SUPPORTING THIS, YOU KNOW, RICH
693
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:54,185
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS
SUPPORTING THIS, YOU KNOW, RICH
ECOSYSTEM IN MY BACKYARD.
694
00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:56,053
SUPPORTING THIS, YOU KNOW, RICH
ECOSYSTEM IN MY BACKYARD.
>> Stephen: RACCOONS AND SUCH?
695
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,455
ECOSYSTEM IN MY BACKYARD.
>> Stephen: RACCOONS AND SUCH?
>> ALL KINDS OF STUFF.
696
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,624
>> Stephen: RACCOONS AND SUCH?
>> ALL KINDS OF STUFF.
IT'S LIKE TWO BIG TREES IN MY
697
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,425
>> ALL KINDS OF STUFF.
IT'S LIKE TWO BIG TREES IN MY
BACKYARD, SO THEY'RE LIKE THESE
698
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,127
IT'S LIKE TWO BIG TREES IN MY
BACKYARD, SO THEY'RE LIKE THESE
BIRD CONDOS, JUST ALL KINDS OF
699
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,662
BACKYARD, SO THEY'RE LIKE THESE
BIRD CONDOS, JUST ALL KINDS OF
BIRDS THAT LIVE IN THOSE TREES.
700
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:05,429
BIRD CONDOS, JUST ALL KINDS OF
BIRDS THAT LIVE IN THOSE TREES.
THERE ARE --
701
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,031
BIRDS THAT LIVE IN THOSE TREES.
THERE ARE --
>> Stephen: THAT IS A
702
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,033
THERE ARE --
>> Stephen: THAT IS A
DESCRIPTION OF A TREE I NEVER
703
00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:09,800
>> Stephen: THAT IS A
DESCRIPTION OF A TREE I NEVER
HEARD BEFORE.
704
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:10,968
DESCRIPTION OF A TREE I NEVER
HEARD BEFORE.
IT'S A BIRD CONDO.
705
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:11,969
HEARD BEFORE.
IT'S A BIRD CONDO.
I LIKE THAT.
706
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:13,137
IT'S A BIRD CONDO.
I LIKE THAT.
>> I DISCOVERED THE ECOSYSTEM
707
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:14,071
I LIKE THAT.
>> I DISCOVERED THE ECOSYSTEM
THAT WAS OUT THERE.
708
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,873
>> I DISCOVERED THE ECOSYSTEM
THAT WAS OUT THERE.
AND I SPENT A LOT MORE TIME IN
709
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,074
THAT WAS OUT THERE.
AND I SPENT A LOT MORE TIME IN
MY POOL THAN I HAD.
710
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,110
AND I SPENT A LOT MORE TIME IN
MY POOL THAN I HAD.
IT WAS SO HOT AND NICE.
711
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,177
MY POOL THAN I HAD.
IT WAS SO HOT AND NICE.
>> Stephen: WHEN YOU WENT OUT,
712
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:22,580
IT WAS SO HOT AND NICE.
>> Stephen: WHEN YOU WENT OUT,
I ASSUME YOU WORE THE MASK, LIKE
713
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:23,481
>> Stephen: WHEN YOU WENT OUT,
I ASSUME YOU WORE THE MASK, LIKE
EVERYBODY UP ON THE, WHEN THAT
714
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:23,981
I ASSUME YOU WORE THE MASK, LIKE
EVERYBODY UP ON THE, WHEN THAT
WAS REQUIRED?
715
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,417
EVERYBODY UP ON THE, WHEN THAT
WAS REQUIRED?
>> I DIDN'T GO OUT UNTIL I CAME
716
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:27,418
WAS REQUIRED?
>> I DIDN'T GO OUT UNTIL I CAME
HERE TO DO THIS JOB.
717
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:28,052
>> I DIDN'T GO OUT UNTIL I CAME
HERE TO DO THIS JOB.
I'M IN ATLANTA.
718
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,620
HERE TO DO THIS JOB.
I'M IN ATLANTA.
YOU CAN SEE I'M ON THE SET.
719
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,156
I'M IN ATLANTA.
YOU CAN SEE I'M ON THE SET.
I DIDN'T GO OUT FROM...
720
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:35,126
YOU CAN SEE I'M ON THE SET.
I DIDN'T GO OUT FROM...
THE END OF FEBRUARY UNTIL I CAME
721
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:37,128
I DIDN'T GO OUT FROM...
THE END OF FEBRUARY UNTIL I CAME
DOWN HERE AT THE END OF
722
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:37,461
THE END OF FEBRUARY UNTIL I CAME
DOWN HERE AT THE END OF
FEBRUARY.
723
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,330
DOWN HERE AT THE END OF
FEBRUARY.
LITERALLY, A YEAR I SPENT IN MY
724
00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:39,530
FEBRUARY.
LITERALLY, A YEAR I SPENT IN MY
HOUSE.
725
00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:39,964
LITERALLY, A YEAR I SPENT IN MY
HOUSE.
>> Stephen: WOW.
726
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,766
HOUSE.
>> Stephen: WOW.
CAN I ASK WHAT YOU'RE SHOOTING?
727
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:44,068
>> Stephen: WOW.
CAN I ASK WHAT YOU'RE SHOOTING?
WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
728
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,069
CAN I ASK WHAT YOU'RE SHOOTING?
WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
WHAT'S THAT SET?
729
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:46,871
WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
WHAT'S THAT SET?
>> I'M IN ATLANTA SHOOTING AN
730
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,106
WHAT'S THAT SET?
>> I'M IN ATLANTA SHOOTING AN
APPLE LIMITED SERIES ENTITLED
731
00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:54,712
>> I'M IN ATLANTA SHOOTING AN
APPLE LIMITED SERIES ENTITLED
"THE LAST DAYS OF IT, ALAMA
732
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:54,979
APPLE LIMITED SERIES ENTITLED
"THE LAST DAYS OF IT, ALAMA
GRAY."
733
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,048
"THE LAST DAYS OF IT, ALAMA
GRAY."
IT'S A WALTER MOSLEY NOVEL ABOUT
734
00:21:57,050 --> 00:21:58,282
GRAY."
IT'S A WALTER MOSLEY NOVEL ABOUT
A 93-YEAR-OLD MAN WITH
735
00:21:58,284 --> 00:21:59,083
IT'S A WALTER MOSLEY NOVEL ABOUT
A 93-YEAR-OLD MAN WITH
ALZHEIMER'S WHO HAS AN
736
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:00,318
A 93-YEAR-OLD MAN WITH
ALZHEIMER'S WHO HAS AN
OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE A MIRACLE
737
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,587
ALZHEIMER'S WHO HAS AN
OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE A MIRACLE
DRUG THAT WILL KILL HIM MORE
738
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,089
OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE A MIRACLE
DRUG THAT WILL KILL HIM MORE
THAN LIKELY IN A WEEK, BUT IT
739
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:08,759
DRUG THAT WILL KILL HIM MORE
THAN LIKELY IN A WEEK, BUT IT
WILL GIVE HIM A WEEK TO GET
740
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:09,493
THAN LIKELY IN A WEEK, BUT IT
WILL GIVE HIM A WEEK TO GET
HIS...
741
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:10,861
WILL GIVE HIM A WEEK TO GET
HIS...
GET HIS LIFE IN ORDER TO TAKE
742
00:22:10,863 --> 00:22:12,596
HIS...
GET HIS LIFE IN ORDER TO TAKE
CARE OF HIS FAMILY AND TO FIND
743
00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:14,765
GET HIS LIFE IN ORDER TO TAKE
CARE OF HIS FAMILY AND TO FIND
OUT SOME THINGS THAT HE'D
744
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:17,301
CARE OF HIS FAMILY AND TO FIND
OUT SOME THINGS THAT HE'D
FORKNOTTEN IN HIS DEMENTIA FOR A
745
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:18,035
OUT SOME THINGS THAT HE'D
FORKNOTTEN IN HIS DEMENTIA FOR A
WEEK.
746
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:18,703
FORKNOTTEN IN HIS DEMENTIA FOR A
WEEK.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'VE
747
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:20,438
WEEK.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'VE
BEEN IN SO MANY AMAZING AND
748
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,872
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'VE
BEEN IN SO MANY AMAZING AND
MEMORABLE MOVIES, I'M CURIOUS
749
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,275
BEEN IN SO MANY AMAZING AND
MEMORABLE MOVIES, I'M CURIOUS
WHAT FANS-- LIKE, WHAT LINES
750
00:22:24,277 --> 00:22:25,743
MEMORABLE MOVIES, I'M CURIOUS
WHAT FANS-- LIKE, WHAT LINES
FANS YELL AT YOU WHEN THEY SEE
751
00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:29,880
WHAT FANS-- LIKE, WHAT LINES
FANS YELL AT YOU WHEN THEY SEE
YOU ON THE STREET.
752
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:30,147
FANS YELL AT YOU WHEN THEY SEE
YOU ON THE STREET.
LIKE--
753
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:32,149
YOU ON THE STREET.
LIKE--
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THE LINE IS
754
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:32,717
LIKE--
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THE LINE IS
NOW?
755
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:33,351
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THE LINE IS
NOW?
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT?
756
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:35,119
NOW?
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT?
>> "WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?"
757
00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:36,754
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT?
>> "WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?"
( LAUGHTER )
758
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:40,257
>> "WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?"
( LAUGHTER )
OUT OF ALL THE MOVIES I'VE DONE
759
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:40,391
( LAUGHTER )
OUT OF ALL THE MOVIES I'VE DONE
--
760
00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:41,692
OUT OF ALL THE MOVIES I'VE DONE
--
>> Stephen: THAT IS MARKET
761
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:41,992
--
>> Stephen: THAT IS MARKET
PENETRATION.
762
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:42,460
>> Stephen: THAT IS MARKET
PENETRATION.
THAT'S NICE.
763
00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:44,228
PENETRATION.
THAT'S NICE.
>> "WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET."
764
00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:46,764
THAT'S NICE.
>> "WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET."
AND I SAY, "MY WIFE'S HAND."
765
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,032
>> "WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET."
AND I SAY, "MY WIFE'S HAND."
AND THAT'S THE END OF IT.
766
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,568
AND I SAY, "MY WIFE'S HAND."
AND THAT'S THE END OF IT.
>> Stephen: "WHAT'S IN YOUR
767
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:50,901
AND THAT'S THE END OF IT.
>> Stephen: "WHAT'S IN YOUR
WALLET?"
768
00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:53,404
>> Stephen: "WHAT'S IN YOUR
WALLET?"
YOU MEAN THE ONE THAT SAYS BAD
769
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:53,738
WALLET?"
YOU MEAN THE ONE THAT SAYS BAD
( BLEEP ).
770
00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:55,539
YOU MEAN THE ONE THAT SAYS BAD
( BLEEP ).
>> THAT ONE, BUT, YES.
771
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:58,008
( BLEEP ).
>> THAT ONE, BUT, YES.
THEY NEVER ASK ABOUT THAT
772
00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:58,242
>> THAT ONE, BUT, YES.
THEY NEVER ASK ABOUT THAT
ANYMORE.
773
00:22:58,244 --> 00:22:59,110
THEY NEVER ASK ABOUT THAT
ANYMORE.
THEY USED TO.
774
00:22:59,112 --> 00:23:02,680
ANYMORE.
THEY USED TO.
>> Stephen: I INDULGED A LOT
775
00:23:02,682 --> 00:23:05,216
THEY USED TO.
>> Stephen: I INDULGED A LOT
IN ESPRESSO MARTINIS, A LOT OF
776
00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:07,351
>> Stephen: I INDULGED A LOT
IN ESPRESSO MARTINIS, A LOT OF
PASTA, AND A LOT OF STREAMING TV
777
00:23:07,353 --> 00:23:08,719
IN ESPRESSO MARTINIS, A LOT OF
PASTA, AND A LOT OF STREAMING TV
OVER COVID.
778
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,788
PASTA, AND A LOT OF STREAMING TV
OVER COVID.
WHAT'S-- WHAT WAS YOUR
779
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,890
OVER COVID.
WHAT'S-- WHAT WAS YOUR
SOOTHING-- WHAT WAS YOUR SAFETY
780
00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:14,825
WHAT'S-- WHAT WAS YOUR
SOOTHING-- WHAT WAS YOUR SAFETY
BLANKET OF INDULGENCE OVER THE
781
00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:15,626
SOOTHING-- WHAT WAS YOUR SAFETY
BLANKET OF INDULGENCE OVER THE
LAST 15 MONTHS?
782
00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:18,295
BLANKET OF INDULGENCE OVER THE
LAST 15 MONTHS?
>> YEAH, STREAMING TV FOR SURE.
783
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:19,363
LAST 15 MONTHS?
>> YEAH, STREAMING TV FOR SURE.
I WATCHED A LOT OF SHOWS.
784
00:23:19,365 --> 00:23:21,165
>> YEAH, STREAMING TV FOR SURE.
I WATCHED A LOT OF SHOWS.
I WATCHED A LOT OF THINGS I
785
00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:22,833
I WATCHED A LOT OF SHOWS.
I WATCHED A LOT OF THINGS I
PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE WATCHED.
786
00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:24,168
I WATCHED A LOT OF THINGS I
PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE WATCHED.
I DISCOVERED SOME THINGS THAT,
787
00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:26,337
PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE WATCHED.
I DISCOVERED SOME THINGS THAT,
YOU KNOW, I LIKED A LOT MORE
788
00:23:26,339 --> 00:23:27,338
I DISCOVERED SOME THINGS THAT,
YOU KNOW, I LIKED A LOT MORE
THAN, YOU KNOW, SOME OF THE
789
00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:28,406
YOU KNOW, I LIKED A LOT MORE
THAN, YOU KNOW, SOME OF THE
OTHER VIOLENT AND CRAZY THINGS
790
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:30,508
THAN, YOU KNOW, SOME OF THE
OTHER VIOLENT AND CRAZY THINGS
THAT I REALLY LIKE.
791
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:32,943
OTHER VIOLENT AND CRAZY THINGS
THAT I REALLY LIKE.
I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WATCHING
792
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:33,778
THAT I REALLY LIKE.
I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WATCHING
"GANGS OF LONDON."
793
00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:35,379
I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WATCHING
"GANGS OF LONDON."
I WATCHED IT A COUPLE OF TIMES
794
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:37,114
"GANGS OF LONDON."
I WATCHED IT A COUPLE OF TIMES
BECAUSE I LIKED IT SO MUCH.
795
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,450
I WATCHED IT A COUPLE OF TIMES
BECAUSE I LIKED IT SO MUCH.
OR THINGS LIKE, "ZERO, ZERO,
796
00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:40,951
BECAUSE I LIKED IT SO MUCH.
OR THINGS LIKE, "ZERO, ZERO,
ZERO," WHICH IS CRIME DRAMA.
797
00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:41,919
OR THINGS LIKE, "ZERO, ZERO,
ZERO," WHICH IS CRIME DRAMA.
>> Stephen: DO YOU WATCH ANY
798
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:43,020
ZERO," WHICH IS CRIME DRAMA.
>> Stephen: DO YOU WATCH ANY
OF YOUR OWN STUFF?
799
00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:45,189
>> Stephen: DO YOU WATCH ANY
OF YOUR OWN STUFF?
DO YOU EVER WATCH SAM JACKSON
800
00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:45,556
OF YOUR OWN STUFF?
DO YOU EVER WATCH SAM JACKSON
MOVIES?
801
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:46,023
DO YOU EVER WATCH SAM JACKSON
MOVIES?
>> YEAH.
802
00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:47,558
MOVIES?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: SOME ACTORS JUST
803
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:47,792
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: SOME ACTORS JUST
CAN'T.
804
00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:49,994
>> Stephen: SOME ACTORS JUST
CAN'T.
SOME ACTORS JUST WILL NOT WATCH
805
00:23:49,996 --> 00:23:50,361
CAN'T.
SOME ACTORS JUST WILL NOT WATCH
THEMSELVES.
806
00:23:50,363 --> 00:23:52,696
SOME ACTORS JUST WILL NOT WATCH
THEMSELVES.
>> SOME ACTORS LIE TO YOU ABOUT
807
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:52,897
THEMSELVES.
>> SOME ACTORS LIE TO YOU ABOUT
THAT.
808
00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:53,864
>> SOME ACTORS LIE TO YOU ABOUT
THAT.
THEY WATCH THEIR MOVIES.
809
00:23:53,866 --> 00:23:54,832
THAT.
THEY WATCH THEIR MOVIES.
YOU KNOW, COME ON.
810
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:55,866
THEY WATCH THEIR MOVIES.
YOU KNOW, COME ON.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
811
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:58,002
YOU KNOW, COME ON.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> IT'S A "WATCH ME" BUSINESS.
812
00:23:58,004 --> 00:23:59,804
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> IT'S A "WATCH ME" BUSINESS.
THAT'S WHY WE-- I GOT INTO
813
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:04,375
>> IT'S A "WATCH ME" BUSINESS.
THAT'S WHY WE-- I GOT INTO
THIS-- I GOT IT INTO IT BECAUSE
814
00:24:04,377 --> 00:24:06,944
THAT'S WHY WE-- I GOT INTO
THIS-- I GOT IT INTO IT BECAUSE
I LOVE ACTING BUT WHEN I STARTED
815
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,312
THIS-- I GOT IT INTO IT BECAUSE
I LOVE ACTING BUT WHEN I STARTED
DOING THEATER I ALWAYS WANTED TO
816
00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:10,014
I LOVE ACTING BUT WHEN I STARTED
DOING THEATER I ALWAYS WANTED TO
WATCH THE PLAYS I WAS IN BUT I
817
00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:10,681
DOING THEATER I ALWAYS WANTED TO
WATCH THE PLAYS I WAS IN BUT I
COULDN'T IT.
818
00:24:10,683 --> 00:24:11,849
WATCH THE PLAYS I WAS IN BUT I
COULDN'T IT.
SO THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE STUFF
819
00:24:11,851 --> 00:24:13,150
COULDN'T IT.
SO THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE STUFF
AND THEN WATCH IT, YES.
820
00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:14,151
SO THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE STUFF
AND THEN WATCH IT, YES.
I WATCH IT.
821
00:24:14,153 --> 00:24:17,888
AND THEN WATCH IT, YES.
I WATCH IT.
IF I'M PASSING-- IF I'M CHANNEL
822
00:24:17,890 --> 00:24:20,558
I WATCH IT.
IF I'M PASSING-- IF I'M CHANNEL
SURFING AND I HAVEN'T FOUND
823
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,359
IF I'M PASSING-- IF I'M CHANNEL
SURFING AND I HAVEN'T FOUND
ANYTHING I WANT TO WATCH OR NOT
824
00:24:22,361 --> 00:24:23,761
SURFING AND I HAVEN'T FOUND
ANYTHING I WANT TO WATCH OR NOT
SPECIFICALLY LOOKING FOR
825
00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:24,695
ANYTHING I WANT TO WATCH OR NOT
SPECIFICALLY LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING AND I PASS SOMETHING
826
00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:26,530
SPECIFICALLY LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING AND I PASS SOMETHING
I'M IN, I WATCH IT.
827
00:24:26,532 --> 00:24:30,234
SOMETHING AND I PASS SOMETHING
I'M IN, I WATCH IT.
>> Stephen: YOU STOP AT
828
00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:32,770
I'M IN, I WATCH IT.
>> Stephen: YOU STOP AT
"JURASSIC PARK" UNTIL YOU STOP
829
00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:35,139
>> Stephen: YOU STOP AT
"JURASSIC PARK" UNTIL YOU STOP
AT "HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS."
830
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:38,209
"JURASSIC PARK" UNTIL YOU STOP
AT "HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS."
SPOILER, WELL, EVERYBODY LOVES
831
00:24:38,211 --> 00:24:39,944
AT "HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS."
SPOILER, WELL, EVERYBODY LOVES
SAM JACKSON.
832
00:24:39,946 --> 00:24:40,744
SPOILER, WELL, EVERYBODY LOVES
SAM JACKSON.
EVERYBODY SAMUEL L. JACKSON
833
00:24:40,746 --> 00:24:40,978
SAM JACKSON.
EVERYBODY SAMUEL L. JACKSON
MOVIES.
834
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,547
EVERYBODY SAMUEL L. JACKSON
MOVIES.
BUT I'M JUST CURIOUS WHAT ARE
835
00:24:43,549 --> 00:24:46,016
MOVIES.
BUT I'M JUST CURIOUS WHAT ARE
SAMUEL L. JACKSON'S TOP-FIVE
836
00:24:46,018 --> 00:24:47,117
BUT I'M JUST CURIOUS WHAT ARE
SAMUEL L. JACKSON'S TOP-FIVE
SAMUEL L. JACKSON MOVIES?
837
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,955
SAMUEL L. JACKSON'S TOP-FIVE
SAMUEL L. JACKSON MOVIES?
>> OH... "LONG KISS GOOD NIGHT."
838
00:24:50,957 --> 00:24:51,689
SAMUEL L. JACKSON MOVIES?
>> OH... "LONG KISS GOOD NIGHT."
>> Stephen: OKAY.
839
00:24:51,691 --> 00:24:54,758
>> OH... "LONG KISS GOOD NIGHT."
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> "A TIME TO KILL."
840
00:24:54,760 --> 00:25:00,264
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> "A TIME TO KILL."
"JACKIE BROWN."
841
00:25:00,266 --> 00:25:04,368
>> "A TIME TO KILL."
"JACKIE BROWN."
"RED VIOLIN."
842
00:25:04,370 --> 00:25:06,337
"JACKIE BROWN."
"RED VIOLIN."
AND "1 EIGHT SEVEN."
843
00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:08,138
"RED VIOLIN."
AND "1 EIGHT SEVEN."
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOUR
844
00:25:08,140 --> 00:25:10,808
AND "1 EIGHT SEVEN."
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOUR
TOP-FIVE MOVIES THAT CAN OR
845
00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:13,244
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOUR
TOP-FIVE MOVIES THAT CAN OR
CANNOT INCLUDE SAM JACKSON IN
846
00:25:13,246 --> 00:25:13,410
TOP-FIVE MOVIES THAT CAN OR
CANNOT INCLUDE SAM JACKSON IN
IT?
847
00:25:13,412 --> 00:25:16,013
CANNOT INCLUDE SAM JACKSON IN
IT?
>> "THE RAID."
848
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:17,414
IT?
>> "THE RAID."
"THE GODFATHER."
849
00:25:17,416 --> 00:25:24,555
>> "THE RAID."
"THE GODFATHER."
"HARD BOILED."
850
00:25:24,557 --> 00:25:26,624
"THE GODFATHER."
"HARD BOILED."
HMMM...
851
00:25:26,626 --> 00:25:28,259
"HARD BOILED."
HMMM...
"HOODLUMS."
852
00:25:28,261 --> 00:25:31,395
HMMM...
"HOODLUMS."
AND "THE BERLIN FILE."
853
00:25:31,397 --> 00:25:32,763
"HOODLUMS."
AND "THE BERLIN FILE."
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
854
00:25:32,765 --> 00:25:34,365
AND "THE BERLIN FILE."
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME
855
00:25:34,367 --> 00:25:35,299
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME
BACK I WILL ASK SAMUEL L.
856
00:25:35,301 --> 00:25:36,901
QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME
BACK I WILL ASK SAMUEL L.
JACKSON ABOUT THE GROUP OF YOUNG
857
00:25:36,903 --> 00:25:38,969
BACK I WILL ASK SAMUEL L.
JACKSON ABOUT THE GROUP OF YOUNG
ACTORS HE KNEW AND WORKED WITH
858
00:25:38,971 --> 00:25:40,671
JACKSON ABOUT THE GROUP OF YOUNG
ACTORS HE KNEW AND WORKED WITH
WHEN HE WAS IN NEW YORK STARTING
859
00:25:40,673 --> 00:25:40,838
ACTORS HE KNEW AND WORKED WITH
WHEN HE WAS IN NEW YORK STARTING
OUT.
860
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,909
WHEN HE WAS IN NEW YORK STARTING
OUT.
PEOPLE YOU MIGHT KNOW.
861
00:25:50,315 --> 00:25:59,356
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: OH, HEY,
EVERYBODY.
862
00:25:59,358 --> 00:26:01,392
>> Stephen: OH, HEY,
EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH AMERICA'S
863
00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:02,459
EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART, SAMUEL L. JACKSON.
864
00:26:02,461 --> 00:26:03,961
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART, SAMUEL L. JACKSON.
AS I SAID, EVERYBODY LOVES
865
00:26:03,963 --> 00:26:05,229
SWEETHEART, SAMUEL L. JACKSON.
AS I SAID, EVERYBODY LOVES
SAMUEL L. JACKSON.
866
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:06,530
AS I SAID, EVERYBODY LOVES
SAMUEL L. JACKSON.
THAT'S NOT NEWS.
867
00:26:06,532 --> 00:26:08,899
SAMUEL L. JACKSON.
THAT'S NOT NEWS.
I'M NOT TELLING TALES OUT OF
868
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:09,633
THAT'S NOT NEWS.
I'M NOT TELLING TALES OUT OF
SCHOOL WITH THAT ONE.
869
00:26:09,635 --> 00:26:11,535
I'M NOT TELLING TALES OUT OF
SCHOOL WITH THAT ONE.
I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU LIKE.
870
00:26:11,537 --> 00:26:13,537
SCHOOL WITH THAT ONE.
I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU LIKE.
WHO DO YOU LOOK AT AND SAY, "I
871
00:26:13,539 --> 00:26:16,273
I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU LIKE.
WHO DO YOU LOOK AT AND SAY, "I
SEE A YOUNG ME IN THAT PERSON?"
872
00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:18,075
WHO DO YOU LOOK AT AND SAY, "I
SEE A YOUNG ME IN THAT PERSON?"
>> OH, DEFINITELY JOHN DAVID
873
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:18,375
SEE A YOUNG ME IN THAT PERSON?"
>> OH, DEFINITELY JOHN DAVID
WASHINGTON.
874
00:26:18,377 --> 00:26:19,343
>> OH, DEFINITELY JOHN DAVID
WASHINGTON.
WE HAVE BEEN KIND OF GROOMING
875
00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:21,478
WASHINGTON.
WE HAVE BEEN KIND OF GROOMING
HIM FOR A WHILE, AND WE HAVE
876
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,447
WE HAVE BEEN KIND OF GROOMING
HIM FOR A WHILE, AND WE HAVE
KNOWN HIM FOR A LONG TIME, AND
877
00:26:23,449 --> 00:26:25,416
HIM FOR A WHILE, AND WE HAVE
KNOWN HIM FOR A LONG TIME, AND
J.D. IS ONE OF THOSE KIDS WHO
878
00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,117
KNOWN HIM FOR A LONG TIME, AND
J.D. IS ONE OF THOSE KIDS WHO
SAID WHEN HE WANTED TO ACT, EVEN
879
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,719
J.D. IS ONE OF THOSE KIDS WHO
SAID WHEN HE WANTED TO ACT, EVEN
THOUGH HE HAD A FAMOUS FATHER WE
880
00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:30,354
SAID WHEN HE WANTED TO ACT, EVEN
THOUGH HE HAD A FAMOUS FATHER WE
SAID YOU HAVE TO GO TO ACTING
881
00:26:30,356 --> 00:26:31,221
THOUGH HE HAD A FAMOUS FATHER WE
SAID YOU HAVE TO GO TO ACTING
SCHOOL, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS, YOU
882
00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:32,423
SAID YOU HAVE TO GO TO ACTING
SCHOOL, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS, YOU
HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO DO THAT.
883
00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:33,657
SCHOOL, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS, YOU
HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO DO THAT.
YOU HAVE TO READ THESE BOOKS.
884
00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:35,492
HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO DO THAT.
YOU HAVE TO READ THESE BOOKS.
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS THING.
885
00:26:35,494 --> 00:26:36,860
YOU HAVE TO READ THESE BOOKS.
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS THING.
YOU HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS.
886
00:26:36,862 --> 00:26:38,662
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS THING.
YOU HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS.
AND HE TOOK IT TO HEART.
887
00:26:38,664 --> 00:26:40,431
YOU HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS.
AND HE TOOK IT TO HEART.
SO WE WERE-- ALL THE PEOPLE THAT
888
00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:42,366
AND HE TOOK IT TO HEART.
SO WE WERE-- ALL THE PEOPLE THAT
ARE-- THAT ARE IN HIS CAMP THAT
889
00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:46,036
SO WE WERE-- ALL THE PEOPLE THAT
ARE-- THAT ARE IN HIS CAMP THAT
WANT HIM TO SUCCEED PUT HIM TO A
890
00:26:46,038 --> 00:26:47,004
ARE-- THAT ARE IN HIS CAMP THAT
WANT HIM TO SUCCEED PUT HIM TO A
HARD TASK.
891
00:26:47,006 --> 00:26:48,539
WANT HIM TO SUCCEED PUT HIM TO A
HARD TASK.
AND IT'S DIFFICULT ENOUGH BEING
892
00:26:48,541 --> 00:26:49,573
HARD TASK.
AND IT'S DIFFICULT ENOUGH BEING
WHO HE IS.
893
00:26:49,575 --> 00:26:53,110
AND IT'S DIFFICULT ENOUGH BEING
WHO HE IS.
BUT WE MADE IT HARDER BECAUSE WE
894
00:26:53,112 --> 00:26:53,677
WHO HE IS.
BUT WE MADE IT HARDER BECAUSE WE
APPLIED PRESSURE.
895
00:26:53,679 --> 00:26:55,646
BUT WE MADE IT HARDER BECAUSE WE
APPLIED PRESSURE.
AND WE THINK THAT THOSE THINGS
896
00:26:55,648 --> 00:26:56,547
APPLIED PRESSURE.
AND WE THINK THAT THOSE THINGS
HAVE PAID OFF.
897
00:26:56,549 --> 00:26:58,649
AND WE THINK THAT THOSE THINGS
HAVE PAID OFF.
HE HAS TURNED OUT TO BE A
898
00:26:58,651 --> 00:26:59,583
HAVE PAID OFF.
HE HAS TURNED OUT TO BE A
WONDERFUL YOUNG ACTOR, AND WE
899
00:26:59,585 --> 00:27:00,551
HE HAS TURNED OUT TO BE A
WONDERFUL YOUNG ACTOR, AND WE
WANT HIM TO SUCCEED.
900
00:27:00,553 --> 00:27:02,653
WONDERFUL YOUNG ACTOR, AND WE
WANT HIM TO SUCCEED.
>> Stephen: YOU HUNG OUT WHEN
901
00:27:02,655 --> 00:27:04,355
WANT HIM TO SUCCEED.
>> Stephen: YOU HUNG OUT WHEN
YOU WERE YOUNGER WITH DENZEL
902
00:27:04,357 --> 00:27:08,325
>> Stephen: YOU HUNG OUT WHEN
YOU WERE YOUNGER WITH DENZEL
WASHINGTON AND WESLEY SNIPES AND
903
00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:09,627
YOU WERE YOUNGER WITH DENZEL
WASHINGTON AND WESLEY SNIPES AND
THE THREE OF YOU HUNG OUT
904
00:27:09,629 --> 00:27:11,395
WASHINGTON AND WESLEY SNIPES AND
THE THREE OF YOU HUNG OUT
TOGETHER IN NEW YORK, IF I'M
905
00:27:11,397 --> 00:27:11,962
THE THREE OF YOU HUNG OUT
TOGETHER IN NEW YORK, IF I'M
CORRECT ABOUT THIS.
906
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:13,030
TOGETHER IN NEW YORK, IF I'M
CORRECT ABOUT THIS.
>> WE'RE ALL TOGETHER.
907
00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:14,331
CORRECT ABOUT THIS.
>> WE'RE ALL TOGETHER.
THAT WAS A HUGE COMMUNITY OF US,
908
00:27:14,333 --> 00:27:15,032
>> WE'RE ALL TOGETHER.
THAT WAS A HUGE COMMUNITY OF US,
YOU KNOW.
909
00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:17,601
THAT WAS A HUGE COMMUNITY OF US,
YOU KNOW.
IT WASN'T JUST DENZEL AND
910
00:27:17,603 --> 00:27:17,935
YOU KNOW.
IT WASN'T JUST DENZEL AND
WESLEY.
911
00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:21,271
IT WASN'T JUST DENZEL AND
WESLEY.
THAT WAS KNOW-- THERE ARE PEOPLE
912
00:27:21,273 --> 00:27:24,008
WESLEY.
THAT WAS KNOW-- THERE ARE PEOPLE
WHO-- WE ALL-- WE ALL SUCCEEDED
913
00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:25,075
THAT WAS KNOW-- THERE ARE PEOPLE
WHO-- WE ALL-- WE ALL SUCCEEDED
AT A DIFFERENT PACE.
914
00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:27,811
WHO-- WE ALL-- WE ALL SUCCEEDED
AT A DIFFERENT PACE.
IT'S LIKE DENZEL, YOU KNOW, LEFT
915
00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:30,414
AT A DIFFERENT PACE.
IT'S LIKE DENZEL, YOU KNOW, LEFT
AND DID "ST. ELSEWHERE," AND
916
00:27:30,416 --> 00:27:32,416
IT'S LIKE DENZEL, YOU KNOW, LEFT
AND DID "ST. ELSEWHERE," AND
THEN BECAME A MOVIE STAR.
917
00:27:32,418 --> 00:27:33,984
AND DID "ST. ELSEWHERE," AND
THEN BECAME A MOVIE STAR.
AND WESLEY LEFT AND BECAME A
918
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:35,552
THEN BECAME A MOVIE STAR.
AND WESLEY LEFT AND BECAME A
HUGE BIG ACTION STAR FOR A WHILE
919
00:27:35,554 --> 00:27:37,121
AND WESLEY LEFT AND BECAME A
HUGE BIG ACTION STAR FOR A WHILE
WITH STALLONE AND ALL THESE
920
00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:37,621
HUGE BIG ACTION STAR FOR A WHILE
WITH STALLONE AND ALL THESE
OTHER GUYS.
921
00:27:37,623 --> 00:27:40,457
WITH STALLONE AND ALL THESE
OTHER GUYS.
AND THE REST OF US WERE TOILG IN
922
00:27:40,459 --> 00:27:41,625
OTHER GUYS.
AND THE REST OF US WERE TOILG IN
NEW YORK DOING THEATER AND ALL
923
00:27:41,627 --> 00:27:43,927
AND THE REST OF US WERE TOILG IN
NEW YORK DOING THEATER AND ALL
OF A SUDDEN I DID "JUNGLE FEVER"
924
00:27:43,929 --> 00:27:45,462
NEW YORK DOING THEATER AND ALL
OF A SUDDEN I DID "JUNGLE FEVER"
AND I ENTERED HOLLYWOOD.
925
00:27:45,464 --> 00:27:47,865
OF A SUDDEN I DID "JUNGLE FEVER"
AND I ENTERED HOLLYWOOD.
THAT WAS MY ENTREE.
926
00:27:47,867 --> 00:27:49,433
AND I ENTERED HOLLYWOOD.
THAT WAS MY ENTREE.
AND THERE WERE OTHER ACTORS THAT
927
00:27:49,435 --> 00:27:49,967
THAT WAS MY ENTREE.
AND THERE WERE OTHER ACTORS THAT
STAYED AROUND.
928
00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:52,703
AND THERE WERE OTHER ACTORS THAT
STAYED AROUND.
AND THEN WE SEE NOW THERE ARE
929
00:27:52,705 --> 00:27:56,507
STAYED AROUND.
AND THEN WE SEE NOW THERE ARE
PEOPLE LIKE JOHN CARLOS
930
00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:56,774
AND THEN WE SEE NOW THERE ARE
PEOPLE LIKE JOHN CARLOS
ESPOSITO.
931
00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:59,176
PEOPLE LIKE JOHN CARLOS
ESPOSITO.
JOHN CARLOS HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS
932
00:27:59,178 --> 00:27:59,877
ESPOSITO.
JOHN CARLOS HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS
AMAZING ACTOR.
933
00:27:59,879 --> 00:28:01,912
JOHN CARLOS HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS
AMAZING ACTOR.
AND WE SAY TO OURSELVES WHEN
934
00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:03,781
AMAZING ACTOR.
AND WE SAY TO OURSELVES WHEN
WILL THAT BREAK HAPPEN FOR HIM?
935
00:28:03,783 --> 00:28:05,983
AND WE SAY TO OURSELVES WHEN
WILL THAT BREAK HAPPEN FOR HIM?
AND HE DOES "BREAKING BAD," AND
936
00:28:05,985 --> 00:28:08,786
WILL THAT BREAK HAPPEN FOR HIM?
AND HE DOES "BREAKING BAD," AND
GUS DOES THIS CHARACTER AND HE'S
937
00:28:08,788 --> 00:28:09,420
AND HE DOES "BREAKING BAD," AND
GUS DOES THIS CHARACTER AND HE'S
EVERYWHERE.
938
00:28:09,422 --> 00:28:10,354
GUS DOES THIS CHARACTER AND HE'S
EVERYWHERE.
AND JAMES PICKENS, THE HEAD OF
939
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,823
EVERYWHERE.
AND JAMES PICKENS, THE HEAD OF
THE HOSPITAL ON-- ON-- ON--
940
00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:16,760
AND JAMES PICKENS, THE HEAD OF
THE HOSPITAL ON-- ON-- ON--
WHAT'S THE HOSPITAL SHOW THAT'S
941
00:28:16,762 --> 00:28:18,529
THE HOSPITAL ON-- ON-- ON--
WHAT'S THE HOSPITAL SHOW THAT'S
ON... BUT HE'S, YOU KNOW, VERY
942
00:28:18,531 --> 00:28:19,930
WHAT'S THE HOSPITAL SHOW THAT'S
ON... BUT HE'S, YOU KNOW, VERY
FAMOUS, AND HE'S ON THAT SHOW.
943
00:28:19,932 --> 00:28:21,331
ON... BUT HE'S, YOU KNOW, VERY
FAMOUS, AND HE'S ON THAT SHOW.
BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF US THAT
944
00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:27,237
FAMOUS, AND HE'S ON THAT SHOW.
BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF US THAT
TOILD AND TOILD,S , AND IT'S REY
945
00:28:27,239 --> 00:28:29,073
BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF US THAT
TOILD AND TOILD,S , AND IT'S REY
GREAT TO SEE PEOPLE YOU WENT TO
946
00:28:29,075 --> 00:28:30,541
TOILD AND TOILD,S , AND IT'S REY
GREAT TO SEE PEOPLE YOU WENT TO
AUDITIONS WITH, POOLED YOUR
947
00:28:30,543 --> 00:28:32,409
GREAT TO SEE PEOPLE YOU WENT TO
AUDITIONS WITH, POOLED YOUR
MONEY AND BOUGHT FOOD WITH
948
00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:33,911
AUDITIONS WITH, POOLED YOUR
MONEY AND BOUGHT FOOD WITH
BECAUSE YOU'RE BROKE, SUCCEED.
949
00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:34,712
MONEY AND BOUGHT FOOD WITH
BECAUSE YOU'RE BROKE, SUCCEED.
AND EVERYTHING DOESN'T HAPPEN AT
950
00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:35,913
BECAUSE YOU'RE BROKE, SUCCEED.
AND EVERYTHING DOESN'T HAPPEN AT
THE SAME TIME, BUT WHEN THEY
951
00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:36,547
AND EVERYTHING DOESN'T HAPPEN AT
THE SAME TIME, BUT WHEN THEY
HAPPEN, THEY HAPPEN.
952
00:28:36,549 --> 00:28:37,614
THE SAME TIME, BUT WHEN THEY
HAPPEN, THEY HAPPEN.
AND WE'RE VERY HAPPY TO SEE THAT
953
00:28:37,616 --> 00:28:39,550
HAPPEN, THEY HAPPEN.
AND WE'RE VERY HAPPY TO SEE THAT
ALL OF US ARE NOW DOING THINGS
954
00:28:39,552 --> 00:28:41,318
AND WE'RE VERY HAPPY TO SEE THAT
ALL OF US ARE NOW DOING THINGS
THAT PEOPLE CAN LOOK AT US OR
955
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:42,686
ALL OF US ARE NOW DOING THINGS
THAT PEOPLE CAN LOOK AT US OR
PEOPLE RECOGNIZE US IN DIFFERENT
956
00:28:42,688 --> 00:28:44,788
THAT PEOPLE CAN LOOK AT US OR
PEOPLE RECOGNIZE US IN DIFFERENT
PLACES AND GO, "YOU'RE THE GUY
957
00:28:44,790 --> 00:28:45,456
PEOPLE RECOGNIZE US IN DIFFERENT
PLACES AND GO, "YOU'RE THE GUY
FROM SO-AND-SO.
958
00:28:45,458 --> 00:28:47,257
PLACES AND GO, "YOU'RE THE GUY
FROM SO-AND-SO.
YOU'RE THE GUY FROM SO-AND-SO."
959
00:28:47,259 --> 00:28:48,826
FROM SO-AND-SO.
YOU'RE THE GUY FROM SO-AND-SO."
AND THAT NOBODY-- SOME PEOPLE
960
00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:50,894
YOU'RE THE GUY FROM SO-AND-SO."
AND THAT NOBODY-- SOME PEOPLE
GET LEFT BEHIND, AND THERE ARE
961
00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:53,630
AND THAT NOBODY-- SOME PEOPLE
GET LEFT BEHIND, AND THERE ARE
STILL ACTORS THAT TOIL, THAT IS
962
00:28:53,632 --> 00:28:55,099
GET LEFT BEHIND, AND THERE ARE
STILL ACTORS THAT TOIL, THAT IS
ARE CHARACTER ACTORS THAT WE
963
00:28:55,101 --> 00:28:56,633
STILL ACTORS THAT TOIL, THAT IS
ARE CHARACTER ACTORS THAT WE
SEE, BUT OUR FRIENDS WORK
964
00:28:56,635 --> 00:28:57,868
ARE CHARACTER ACTORS THAT WE
SEE, BUT OUR FRIENDS WORK
BECAUSE WE CAME FROM A GROUP OF
965
00:28:57,870 --> 00:28:58,802
SEE, BUT OUR FRIENDS WORK
BECAUSE WE CAME FROM A GROUP OF
PEOPLE WHO WORKED.
966
00:28:58,804 --> 00:29:00,170
BECAUSE WE CAME FROM A GROUP OF
PEOPLE WHO WORKED.
>> Stephen: I TELL YOUNG
967
00:29:00,172 --> 00:29:01,371
PEOPLE WHO WORKED.
>> Stephen: I TELL YOUNG
PERFORMERS AND YOUNG COMEDIANS,
968
00:29:01,373 --> 00:29:03,407
>> Stephen: I TELL YOUNG
PERFORMERS AND YOUNG COMEDIANS,
I SAY, "IF YOU REALLY WANT TO
969
00:29:03,409 --> 00:29:04,675
PERFORMERS AND YOUNG COMEDIANS,
I SAY, "IF YOU REALLY WANT TO
SURVIVE, YOU HAVE TO FIND YOUR
970
00:29:04,677 --> 00:29:06,577
I SAY, "IF YOU REALLY WANT TO
SURVIVE, YOU HAVE TO FIND YOUR
GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO, WHEN YOU'RE
971
00:29:06,579 --> 00:29:07,978
SURVIVE, YOU HAVE TO FIND YOUR
GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO, WHEN YOU'RE
YOUNGER AND WHEN YOU'RE STARTING
972
00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:09,513
GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO, WHEN YOU'RE
YOUNGER AND WHEN YOU'RE STARTING
OFF, THAT YOU'LL LOVE EACH OTHER
973
00:29:09,515 --> 00:29:11,348
YOUNGER AND WHEN YOU'RE STARTING
OFF, THAT YOU'LL LOVE EACH OTHER
FOR THE REST OF YOUR YEARS.
974
00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:12,983
OFF, THAT YOU'LL LOVE EACH OTHER
FOR THE REST OF YOUR YEARS.
BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GOING TO NEED
975
00:29:12,985 --> 00:29:14,384
FOR THE REST OF YOUR YEARS.
BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GOING TO NEED
EACH OTHER AT SOME POINT--
976
00:29:14,386 --> 00:29:15,452
BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GOING TO NEED
EACH OTHER AT SOME POINT--
LITERALLY TO FEED EACH OTHER.
977
00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:17,154
EACH OTHER AT SOME POINT--
LITERALLY TO FEED EACH OTHER.
>> WHETHER YOU DO OR DON'T
978
00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:18,188
LITERALLY TO FEED EACH OTHER.
>> WHETHER YOU DO OR DON'T
SUCCEED, THERE'S STILL THAT
979
00:29:18,190 --> 00:29:18,388
>> WHETHER YOU DO OR DON'T
SUCCEED, THERE'S STILL THAT
LOVE.
980
00:29:18,390 --> 00:29:22,092
SUCCEED, THERE'S STILL THAT
LOVE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
981
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:23,927
LOVE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
YOU'RE IN A NEW MOVIE CALLED
982
00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:25,195
>> Stephen: YEAH.
YOU'RE IN A NEW MOVIE CALLED
"THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD."
983
00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:26,797
YOU'RE IN A NEW MOVIE CALLED
"THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD."
I HAD TO THINK OF WHERE THE WIFE
984
00:29:26,799 --> 00:29:30,134
"THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD."
I HAD TO THINK OF WHERE THE WIFE
WENT IN THAT ONE.
985
00:29:30,136 --> 00:29:30,701
I HAD TO THINK OF WHERE THE WIFE
WENT IN THAT ONE.
IT'S "THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S
986
00:29:30,703 --> 00:29:31,001
WENT IN THAT ONE.
IT'S "THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S
BODYGUARD."
987
00:29:31,003 --> 00:29:32,169
IT'S "THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S
BODYGUARD."
TELL ME ABOUT THE MOVIE.
988
00:29:32,171 --> 00:29:35,105
BODYGUARD."
TELL ME ABOUT THE MOVIE.
ARE YOU THE HIT MAN, WIFE OR
989
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,540
TELL ME ABOUT THE MOVIE.
ARE YOU THE HIT MAN, WIFE OR
BODY GUARD.
990
00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:38,542
ARE YOU THE HIT MAN, WIFE OR
BODY GUARD.
>> I'M STILL THE HIT MAN.
991
00:29:38,544 --> 00:29:41,078
BODY GUARD.
>> I'M STILL THE HIT MAN.
I WAS THE HIT MAN IN THE
992
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,614
>> I'M STILL THE HIT MAN.
I WAS THE HIT MAN IN THE
ORIGINAL FILM "THE HITMAN'S BODY
993
00:29:43,616 --> 00:29:43,947
I WAS THE HIT MAN IN THE
ORIGINAL FILM "THE HITMAN'S BODY
GUARD."
994
00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:46,283
ORIGINAL FILM "THE HITMAN'S BODY
GUARD."
AND SALMA HAYEK WAS MY WIFE,
995
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:47,417
GUARD."
AND SALMA HAYEK WAS MY WIFE,
SONIA, WHO I WAS TRYING TO GET
996
00:29:47,419 --> 00:29:50,387
AND SALMA HAYEK WAS MY WIFE,
SONIA, WHO I WAS TRYING TO GET
TO THIS TRIAL TO TESTIFY SO THAT
997
00:29:50,389 --> 00:29:52,055
SONIA, WHO I WAS TRYING TO GET
TO THIS TRIAL TO TESTIFY SO THAT
THEY WOULD LET HER OUT OF JAIL.
998
00:29:52,057 --> 00:29:54,258
TO THIS TRIAL TO TESTIFY SO THAT
THEY WOULD LET HER OUT OF JAIL.
SO NOW, SHE'S TRYING TO SAVE ME,
999
00:29:54,260 --> 00:29:57,161
THEY WOULD LET HER OUT OF JAIL.
SO NOW, SHE'S TRYING TO SAVE ME,
SO SHE HIRES RYAN REYNOLDS,
1000
00:29:57,163 --> 00:29:58,629
SO NOW, SHE'S TRYING TO SAVE ME,
SO SHE HIRES RYAN REYNOLDS,
AGAIN, WHO WAS ESSENTIALLY MY
1001
00:29:58,631 --> 00:30:02,199
SO SHE HIRES RYAN REYNOLDS,
AGAIN, WHO WAS ESSENTIALLY MY
NEMESIS, BUT WE GET TOGETHER.
1002
00:30:02,201 --> 00:30:05,435
AGAIN, WHO WAS ESSENTIALLY MY
NEMESIS, BUT WE GET TOGETHER.
AND YOU'LL SEE I THINK FROM THIS
1003
00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:07,938
NEMESIS, BUT WE GET TOGETHER.
AND YOU'LL SEE I THINK FROM THIS
CLIP THAT I ASK HER NOT TO CALL
1004
00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:09,273
AND YOU'LL SEE I THINK FROM THIS
CLIP THAT I ASK HER NOT TO CALL
HIM, AND SHE DID.
1005
00:30:09,275 --> 00:30:11,008
CLIP THAT I ASK HER NOT TO CALL
HIM, AND SHE DID.
>> Stephen: JIM.
1006
00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:15,946
HIM, AND SHE DID.
>> Stephen: JIM.
.♪ ♪ ♪
1007
00:30:15,948 --> 00:30:18,515
>> Stephen: JIM.
.♪ ♪ ♪
♪ AND IN MY DREAMS
1008
00:30:18,517 --> 00:30:21,451
.♪ ♪ ♪
♪ AND IN MY DREAMS
I'VE KISSED YOUR LIPS A THOUSAND
1009
00:30:21,453 --> 00:30:23,120
♪ AND IN MY DREAMS
I'VE KISSED YOUR LIPS A THOUSAND
TIMES ♪
1010
00:30:23,122 --> 00:30:24,121
I'VE KISSED YOUR LIPS A THOUSAND
TIMES ♪
HANG ON.
1011
00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:27,057
TIMES ♪
HANG ON.
WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?
1012
00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:28,959
HANG ON.
WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?
>> I BELIEVE IT'S PRONOUNCED
1013
00:30:28,961 --> 00:30:29,493
WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?
>> I BELIEVE IT'S PRONOUNCED
THANK YOU.
1014
00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:30,494
>> I BELIEVE IT'S PRONOUNCED
THANK YOU.
>> FOR WHAT?
1015
00:30:30,496 --> 00:30:32,029
THANK YOU.
>> FOR WHAT?
>> FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE AGAIN
1016
00:30:32,031 --> 00:30:33,630
>> FOR WHAT?
>> FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE AGAIN
AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
1017
00:30:33,632 --> 00:30:38,068
>> FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE AGAIN
AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
>> YOU SAID, "BABY, GET ME
1018
00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:39,369
AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
>> YOU SAID, "BABY, GET ME
MICHAEL BRYCE."
1019
00:30:39,371 --> 00:30:39,570
>> YOU SAID, "BABY, GET ME
MICHAEL BRYCE."
WHAT?
1020
00:30:39,572 --> 00:30:41,605
MICHAEL BRYCE."
WHAT?
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
1021
00:30:41,607 --> 00:30:44,675
WHAT?
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I SAID, BABY I NEED HELP.
1022
00:30:44,677 --> 00:30:46,877
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I SAID, BABY I NEED HELP.
GET ANYONE BUT MICHAEL BRYCE.
1023
00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:48,312
I SAID, BABY I NEED HELP.
GET ANYONE BUT MICHAEL BRYCE.
>> WHAT?
1024
00:30:48,314 --> 00:30:50,180
GET ANYONE BUT MICHAEL BRYCE.
>> WHAT?
>> HE IS THE MOST ANNOYING--
1025
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:52,616
>> WHAT?
>> HE IS THE MOST ANNOYING--
>> EXCUSE ME!
1026
00:30:52,618 --> 00:30:54,051
>> HE IS THE MOST ANNOYING--
>> EXCUSE ME!
I HAVE 20-20 HEARING.
1027
00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:55,252
>> EXCUSE ME!
I HAVE 20-20 HEARING.
I CAN HEAR YOU.
1028
00:30:55,254 --> 00:30:56,787
I HAVE 20-20 HEARING.
I CAN HEAR YOU.
THE DEAD GUYS CAN HEAR YOU.
1029
00:30:56,789 --> 00:30:57,921
I CAN HEAR YOU.
THE DEAD GUYS CAN HEAR YOU.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU NEARLY
1030
00:30:57,923 --> 00:30:58,255
THE DEAD GUYS CAN HEAR YOU.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU NEARLY
GOT ME KILLED?
1031
00:30:58,257 --> 00:30:59,857
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU NEARLY
GOT ME KILLED?
>> NOT ENOUGH.
1032
00:30:59,859 --> 00:31:01,625
GOT ME KILLED?
>> NOT ENOUGH.
COME ON, BABY, LET'S GET OUT OF
1033
00:31:01,627 --> 00:31:04,394
>> NOT ENOUGH.
COME ON, BABY, LET'S GET OUT OF
HERE BEFORE HE STARTS THE
1034
00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:07,598
COME ON, BABY, LET'S GET OUT OF
HERE BEFORE HE STARTS THE
IN-FLIGHT SAFETY DEMONSTRATION.
1035
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,435
HERE BEFORE HE STARTS THE
IN-FLIGHT SAFETY DEMONSTRATION.
>> Stephen: "THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S
1036
00:31:11,437 --> 00:31:15,305
IN-FLIGHT SAFETY DEMONSTRATION.
>> Stephen: "THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S
BODY GUARD" WHAT YOU JUST SAW
1037
00:31:15,307 --> 00:31:16,940
>> Stephen: "THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S
BODY GUARD" WHAT YOU JUST SAW
THERE, WILL BE IN THEATERS NEXT
1038
00:31:16,942 --> 00:31:17,207
BODY GUARD" WHAT YOU JUST SAW
THERE, WILL BE IN THEATERS NEXT
WEDNESDAY.
1039
00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:18,876
THERE, WILL BE IN THEATERS NEXT
WEDNESDAY.
THE MAN IS SAMUEL L. JACKSON,
1040
00:31:18,878 --> 00:31:19,176
WEDNESDAY.
THE MAN IS SAMUEL L. JACKSON,
EVERYBODY.
1041
00:31:19,178 --> 00:31:20,344
THE MAN IS SAMUEL L. JACKSON,
EVERYBODY.
SAMUEL, THANK YOU FOR BEING
1042
00:31:20,346 --> 00:31:20,544
EVERYBODY.
SAMUEL, THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE.
1043
00:31:20,546 --> 00:31:21,979
SAMUEL, THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
1044
00:31:21,981 --> 00:31:23,747
HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
AND GOOD LUCK WITH THE ALDIENCES
1045
00:31:23,749 --> 00:31:25,249
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
AND GOOD LUCK WITH THE ALDIENCES
COMING BACK NEXT WEEK.
1046
00:31:25,251 --> 00:31:25,983
AND GOOD LUCK WITH THE ALDIENCES
COMING BACK NEXT WEEK.
>> Stephen: THANKS.
1047
00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:27,284
COMING BACK NEXT WEEK.
>> Stephen: THANKS.
I HOPE WE CAN SEE YOU IN FRONT
1048
00:31:27,286 --> 00:31:30,220
>> Stephen: THANKS.
I HOPE WE CAN SEE YOU IN FRONT
OF A PACKED ED SULLIVAN THEATER
1049
00:31:30,222 --> 00:31:30,520
I HOPE WE CAN SEE YOU IN FRONT
OF A PACKED ED SULLIVAN THEATER
SOME TIME.
1050
00:31:30,522 --> 00:31:35,025
OF A PACKED ED SULLIVAN THEATER
SOME TIME.
>> I'D LOVE TO DO IT.
1051
00:31:35,027 --> 00:31:35,759
SOME TIME.
>> I'D LOVE TO DO IT.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I'L
1052
00:31:47,672 --> 00:31:50,574
♪ ♪ ♪
1053
00:31:55,780 --> 00:32:00,217
♪ ♪ ♪
1054
00:32:01,986 --> 00:32:09,326
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A FOOD EXPERT
1055
00:32:09,328 --> 00:32:10,928
WELCOME BACK.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A FOOD EXPERT
AND AUTHOR WHO HAS HOSTED "TOP
1056
00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:11,695
MY NEXT GUEST IS A FOOD EXPERT
AND AUTHOR WHO HAS HOSTED "TOP
CHEF" FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS.
1057
00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:13,130
AND AUTHOR WHO HAS HOSTED "TOP
CHEF" FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS.
HER LATEST SHOW, "TASTE THE
1058
00:32:13,132 --> 00:32:13,730
CHEF" FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS.
HER LATEST SHOW, "TASTE THE
NATION," IS CURRENTLY FILMING
1059
00:32:13,732 --> 00:32:16,066
HER LATEST SHOW, "TASTE THE
NATION," IS CURRENTLY FILMING
ITS SECOND SEASON.
1060
00:32:16,068 --> 00:32:18,435
NATION," IS CURRENTLY FILMING
ITS SECOND SEASON.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE
1061
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:20,737
ITS SECOND SEASON.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE
SHOW," PADMA LAHKSHMI!
1062
00:32:20,739 --> 00:32:22,139
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE
SHOW," PADMA LAHKSHMI!
PADMA, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING
1063
00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:22,606
SHOW," PADMA LAHKSHMI!
PADMA, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE.
1064
00:32:22,608 --> 00:32:24,074
PADMA, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE.
>> I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE.
1065
00:32:24,076 --> 00:32:26,009
HERE.
>> I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE IN
1066
00:32:26,011 --> 00:32:26,276
>> I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE IN
PERSON.
1067
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:27,411
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE IN
PERSON.
>> Stephen: WHAT PEOPLE DON'T
1068
00:32:27,413 --> 00:32:28,245
PERSON.
>> Stephen: WHAT PEOPLE DON'T
KNOW WE WERE GOING TO DO IT ON
1069
00:32:28,247 --> 00:32:30,547
>> Stephen: WHAT PEOPLE DON'T
KNOW WE WERE GOING TO DO IT ON
THE ROOF BUT A GIANT STORM MOVED
1070
00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:31,782
KNOW WE WERE GOING TO DO IT ON
THE ROOF BUT A GIANT STORM MOVED
THROUGH SO WE MOVED EVERYTHING
1071
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:36,186
THE ROOF BUT A GIANT STORM MOVED
THROUGH SO WE MOVED EVERYTHING
TO THE ACTUAL KITCHEN WE USE
1072
00:32:36,188 --> 00:32:37,020
THROUGH SO WE MOVED EVERYTHING
TO THE ACTUAL KITCHEN WE USE
HERE "THE LATE SHOW."
1073
00:32:37,022 --> 00:32:38,455
TO THE ACTUAL KITCHEN WE USE
HERE "THE LATE SHOW."
WE NEVER USED IT BEFORE.
1074
00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:39,523
HERE "THE LATE SHOW."
WE NEVER USED IT BEFORE.
THANK YOU FOR CHRISTENING IT.
1075
00:32:39,525 --> 00:32:40,724
WE NEVER USED IT BEFORE.
THANK YOU FOR CHRISTENING IT.
>> LET'S GET STARTED.
1076
00:32:40,726 --> 00:32:42,025
THANK YOU FOR CHRISTENING IT.
>> LET'S GET STARTED.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE WE DOING?
1077
00:32:42,027 --> 00:32:44,161
>> LET'S GET STARTED.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE WE DOING?
AND WHAT ARE WE DRINKING?
1078
00:32:44,163 --> 00:32:46,396
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE WE DOING?
AND WHAT ARE WE DRINKING?
>> LET'S CELEBRATE WITH A DRINK.
1079
00:32:46,398 --> 00:32:49,866
AND WHAT ARE WE DRINKING?
>> LET'S CELEBRATE WITH A DRINK.
WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A WHITE
1080
00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:51,301
>> LET'S CELEBRATE WITH A DRINK.
WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A WHITE
SANGRIA.
1081
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,904
WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A WHITE
SANGRIA.
THIS IS VERY CHIC.
1082
00:32:53,906 --> 00:32:55,172
SANGRIA.
THIS IS VERY CHIC.
FIRST WE'RE GOING TO PUT FRUIT
1083
00:32:55,174 --> 00:32:55,706
THIS IS VERY CHIC.
FIRST WE'RE GOING TO PUT FRUIT
IN HERE.
1084
00:32:55,708 --> 00:32:56,807
FIRST WE'RE GOING TO PUT FRUIT
IN HERE.
>> Stephen: MAY I?
1085
00:32:56,809 --> 00:32:57,908
IN HERE.
>> Stephen: MAY I?
>> YES, PLEASE DO.
1086
00:32:57,910 --> 00:33:00,811
>> Stephen: MAY I?
>> YES, PLEASE DO.
>> THIS IS MANGO AND PINEAPPLE
1087
00:33:00,813 --> 00:33:01,445
>> YES, PLEASE DO.
>> THIS IS MANGO AND PINEAPPLE
AND KIWI.
1088
00:33:01,447 --> 00:33:03,213
>> THIS IS MANGO AND PINEAPPLE
AND KIWI.
YOU CAN USE ANY FRUIT YOU WANT.
1089
00:33:03,215 --> 00:33:06,616
AND KIWI.
YOU CAN USE ANY FRUIT YOU WANT.
WE HAVE A WHOLE BOTTLE OF WHITE
1090
00:33:06,618 --> 00:33:06,817
YOU CAN USE ANY FRUIT YOU WANT.
WE HAVE A WHOLE BOTTLE OF WHITE
WINE.
1091
00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:08,518
WE HAVE A WHOLE BOTTLE OF WHITE
WINE.
>> Stephen: HOW MANY OF YOUR
1092
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,088
WINE.
>> Stephen: HOW MANY OF YOUR
RESPIES START WITH, "ADD ENTIRE
1093
00:33:11,090 --> 00:33:13,190
>> Stephen: HOW MANY OF YOUR
RESPIES START WITH, "ADD ENTIRE
BOTTLE OF WINE?"
1094
00:33:13,192 --> 00:33:13,924
RESPIES START WITH, "ADD ENTIRE
BOTTLE OF WINE?"
>> NOT ENOUGH.
1095
00:33:13,926 --> 00:33:15,292
BOTTLE OF WINE?"
>> NOT ENOUGH.
>> Stephen:
1096
00:33:15,294 --> 00:33:18,595
>> NOT ENOUGH.
>> Stephen:
HOW OF THE IMPEACH LIQUOR?
1097
00:33:18,597 --> 00:33:19,096
>> Stephen:
HOW OF THE IMPEACH LIQUOR?
>> NOT MUCH.
1098
00:33:19,098 --> 00:33:21,531
HOW OF THE IMPEACH LIQUOR?
>> NOT MUCH.
YOU HAVE A LOT OF SUGAR ALREADY
1099
00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:22,566
>> NOT MUCH.
YOU HAVE A LOT OF SUGAR ALREADY
WITH THE FRUIT.
1100
00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:24,101
YOU HAVE A LOT OF SUGAR ALREADY
WITH THE FRUIT.
HERE'S A CUP RIGHT HERE.
1101
00:33:24,103 --> 00:33:25,769
WITH THE FRUIT.
HERE'S A CUP RIGHT HERE.
>> Stephen: IT'S DONE.
1102
00:33:25,771 --> 00:33:27,571
HERE'S A CUP RIGHT HERE.
>> Stephen: IT'S DONE.
I WASN'T SURE IF THAT WAS THE
1103
00:33:27,573 --> 00:33:28,071
>> Stephen: IT'S DONE.
I WASN'T SURE IF THAT WAS THE
COOKING OIL.
1104
00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:29,806
I WASN'T SURE IF THAT WAS THE
COOKING OIL.
>> SWIRL THAT AROUND WITH YOUR
1105
00:33:29,808 --> 00:33:31,174
COOKING OIL.
>> SWIRL THAT AROUND WITH YOUR
LONG SPOON, AND THAT'S IT.
1106
00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:33,076
>> SWIRL THAT AROUND WITH YOUR
LONG SPOON, AND THAT'S IT.
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHAT THIS
1107
00:33:33,078 --> 00:33:35,445
LONG SPOON, AND THAT'S IT.
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHAT THIS
TASTES LIKE WHEN IT'S ACTUALLY
1108
00:33:35,447 --> 00:33:35,679
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHAT THIS
TASTES LIKE WHEN IT'S ACTUALLY
CHILLED.
1109
00:33:35,681 --> 00:33:36,113
TASTES LIKE WHEN IT'S ACTUALLY
CHILLED.
>> Stephen: CHEERS.
1110
00:33:36,115 --> 00:33:37,447
CHILLED.
>> Stephen: CHEERS.
>> CHEERS, THANK YOU FOR HAVING
1111
00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:39,282
>> Stephen: CHEERS.
>> CHEERS, THANK YOU FOR HAVING
ME IN YOUR KITCHEN.
1112
00:33:39,284 --> 00:33:41,151
>> CHEERS, THANK YOU FOR HAVING
ME IN YOUR KITCHEN.
AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO START --
1113
00:33:41,153 --> 00:33:42,552
ME IN YOUR KITCHEN.
AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO START --
>> Stephen: THAT IS
1114
00:33:42,554 --> 00:33:42,853
AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO START --
>> Stephen: THAT IS
REFRESHING.
1115
00:33:42,855 --> 00:33:43,186
>> Stephen: THAT IS
REFRESHING.
IT REALLY IS.
1116
00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:45,088
REFRESHING.
IT REALLY IS.
>> THIS IS AN APPETIZER.
1117
00:33:45,090 --> 00:33:47,424
IT REALLY IS.
>> THIS IS AN APPETIZER.
THIS IS SAW TODAY, CALAMARI THAT
1118
00:33:47,426 --> 00:33:48,058
>> THIS IS AN APPETIZER.
THIS IS SAW TODAY, CALAMARI THAT
WE'RE MAKING NOW.
1119
00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:48,458
THIS IS SAW TODAY, CALAMARI THAT
WE'RE MAKING NOW.
>> Stephen: SURE.
1120
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:51,261
WE'RE MAKING NOW.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND WE'RE GOING TO DO IT WITH
1121
00:33:51,263 --> 00:33:53,897
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND WE'RE GOING TO DO IT WITH
A TOMATO AND PARSLEY, IT'S
1122
00:33:53,899 --> 00:33:54,464
>> AND WE'RE GOING TO DO IT WITH
A TOMATO AND PARSLEY, IT'S
REALLY EASY.
1123
00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:56,266
A TOMATO AND PARSLEY, IT'S
REALLY EASY.
BEFORE WE DO THE CALIMARI, I
1124
00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:58,301
REALLY EASY.
BEFORE WE DO THE CALIMARI, I
WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW CALIMARI
1125
00:33:58,303 --> 00:33:59,202
BEFORE WE DO THE CALIMARI, I
WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW CALIMARI
ACTUALLY COMES.
1126
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:00,303
WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW CALIMARI
ACTUALLY COMES.
SO THIS IS THE CALIMARI.
1127
00:34:00,305 --> 00:34:01,004
ACTUALLY COMES.
SO THIS IS THE CALIMARI.
>> Stephen: THAT IS A BIG--
1128
00:34:01,006 --> 00:34:03,340
SO THIS IS THE CALIMARI.
>> Stephen: THAT IS A BIG--
THAT IS A BIG PIECE OF SQUID.
1129
00:34:03,342 --> 00:34:04,241
>> Stephen: THAT IS A BIG--
THAT IS A BIG PIECE OF SQUID.
>> YES, IT IS.
1130
00:34:04,243 --> 00:34:08,245
THAT IS A BIG PIECE OF SQUID.
>> YES, IT IS.
>> Stephen: THAT IS SOME
1131
00:34:08,247 --> 00:34:11,281
>> YES, IT IS.
>> Stephen: THAT IS SOME
ARK-I-TOOTHIS RIGHT THERE.
1132
00:34:11,283 --> 00:34:14,051
>> Stephen: THAT IS SOME
ARK-I-TOOTHIS RIGHT THERE.
KIRK DOUGLAS FIGHTS THIS IN
1133
00:34:14,053 --> 00:34:15,585
ARK-I-TOOTHIS RIGHT THERE.
KIRK DOUGLAS FIGHTS THIS IN
"10,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA,"
1134
00:34:15,587 --> 00:34:16,153
KIRK DOUGLAS FIGHTS THIS IN
"10,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA,"
I THINK.
1135
00:34:16,155 --> 00:34:19,089
"10,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA,"
I THINK.
HOW DO I CLEAN IT?
1136
00:34:19,091 --> 00:34:22,826
I THINK.
HOW DO I CLEAN IT?
>> YOU WANT TO CLEAN THE FINS
1137
00:34:22,828 --> 00:34:23,060
HOW DO I CLEAN IT?
>> YOU WANT TO CLEAN THE FINS
OFF.
1138
00:34:23,062 --> 00:34:24,261
>> YOU WANT TO CLEAN THE FINS
OFF.
DON'T OPEN IT UP.
1139
00:34:24,263 --> 00:34:26,930
OFF.
DON'T OPEN IT UP.
WE'RE JUST SLICING.
1140
00:34:26,932 --> 00:34:27,898
DON'T OPEN IT UP.
WE'RE JUST SLICING.
DO QRPT-INCH SLICES.
1141
00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:28,932
WE'RE JUST SLICING.
DO QRPT-INCH SLICES.
NOT THAT WAY!
1142
00:34:28,934 --> 00:34:31,168
DO QRPT-INCH SLICES.
NOT THAT WAY!
> Stephen: I DIDN'T.
1143
00:34:31,170 --> 00:34:32,436
NOT THAT WAY!
> Stephen: I DIDN'T.
I WAS TAKING THE FIN OFF.
1144
00:34:32,438 --> 00:34:33,770
> Stephen: I DIDN'T.
I WAS TAKING THE FIN OFF.
ARE YOU GOING TO YELL AT ME
1145
00:34:33,772 --> 00:34:35,238
I WAS TAKING THE FIN OFF.
ARE YOU GOING TO YELL AT ME
THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING?
1146
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:38,542
ARE YOU GOING TO YELL AT ME
THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING?
>> NO, I'M NOT.
1147
00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:40,977
THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING?
>> NO, I'M NOT.
INTO THIS BOWL WITH MORE RINGS.
1148
00:34:40,979 --> 00:34:43,180
>> NO, I'M NOT.
INTO THIS BOWL WITH MORE RINGS.
AND WE'LL SOAK THIS IN MILK.
1149
00:34:43,182 --> 00:34:46,349
INTO THIS BOWL WITH MORE RINGS.
AND WE'LL SOAK THIS IN MILK.
YOU WANT TO PORSOME MILK OVER
1150
00:34:46,351 --> 00:34:47,050
AND WE'LL SOAK THIS IN MILK.
YOU WANT TO PORSOME MILK OVER
IT.
1151
00:34:47,052 --> 00:34:48,685
YOU WANT TO PORSOME MILK OVER
IT.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE SQUID
1152
00:34:48,687 --> 00:34:49,186
IT.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE SQUID
SOUP.
1153
00:34:49,188 --> 00:34:51,321
>> Stephen: A LITTLE SQUID
SOUP.
>> YES MIX IT UP.
1154
00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:55,425
SOUP.
>> YES MIX IT UP.
>> Stephen: WITH MY FINGERS.
1155
00:34:55,427 --> 00:34:58,328
>> YES MIX IT UP.
>> Stephen: WITH MY FINGERS.
I FORGOT I WAS DOING A COOKIE
1156
00:34:58,330 --> 00:35:00,597
>> Stephen: WITH MY FINGERS.
I FORGOT I WAS DOING A COOKIE
SEGMENT AND DID NOT WASH MY
1157
00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:00,831
I FORGOT I WAS DOING A COOKIE
SEGMENT AND DID NOT WASH MY
HANDS.
1158
00:35:00,833 --> 00:35:02,332
SEGMENT AND DID NOT WASH MY
HANDS.
THEY'RE CLEAN NOW.
1159
00:35:02,334 --> 00:35:02,999
HANDS.
THEY'RE CLEAN NOW.
THEY'RE MILK SCRUBBED.
1160
00:35:03,001 --> 00:35:05,936
THEY'RE CLEAN NOW.
THEY'RE MILK SCRUBBED.
>> I'LL MAKE YOU TASTE THAT ONE
1161
00:35:05,938 --> 00:35:08,238
THEY'RE MILK SCRUBBED.
>> I'LL MAKE YOU TASTE THAT ONE
WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
1162
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:09,739
>> I'LL MAKE YOU TASTE THAT ONE
WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
WIPE YOUR HANDS WITH A DAMP
1163
00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:10,006
WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
WIPE YOUR HANDS WITH A DAMP
TOWEL.
1164
00:35:10,008 --> 00:35:12,242
WIPE YOUR HANDS WITH A DAMP
TOWEL.
TAKE A SMALL BATCH OF THE JUST
1165
00:35:12,244 --> 00:35:13,877
TOWEL.
TAKE A SMALL BATCH OF THE JUST
THE RINGS, NOT THAT OTHER STUFF.
1166
00:35:13,879 --> 00:35:15,045
TAKE A SMALL BATCH OF THE JUST
THE RINGS, NOT THAT OTHER STUFF.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE OTHER
1167
00:35:15,047 --> 00:35:15,445
THE RINGS, NOT THAT OTHER STUFF.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE OTHER
STUFF?
1168
00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:17,247
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE OTHER
STUFF?
>> THAT'S A LITTLE SQUID AND
1169
00:35:17,249 --> 00:35:19,883
STUFF?
>> THAT'S A LITTLE SQUID AND
STUFF WITH THE TENTACLES.
1170
00:35:19,885 --> 00:35:22,385
>> THAT'S A LITTLE SQUID AND
STUFF WITH THE TENTACLES.
YOU WANT JUST THE RINGS.
1171
00:35:22,387 --> 00:35:24,921
STUFF WITH THE TENTACLES.
YOU WANT JUST THE RINGS.
SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, A
1172
00:35:24,923 --> 00:35:26,923
YOU WANT JUST THE RINGS.
SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, A
LITTLE BIT.
1173
00:35:26,925 --> 00:35:27,724
SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, A
LITTLE BIT.
PUT IT OVER THERE.
1174
00:35:27,726 --> 00:35:29,326
LITTLE BIT.
PUT IT OVER THERE.
AND YOU WILL PAT IT DRY.
1175
00:35:29,328 --> 00:35:30,360
PUT IT OVER THERE.
AND YOU WILL PAT IT DRY.
>> Stephen: IS THAT ENOUGH?
1176
00:35:30,362 --> 00:35:31,194
AND YOU WILL PAT IT DRY.
>> Stephen: IS THAT ENOUGH?
>> THAT'S ENOUGH.
1177
00:35:31,196 --> 00:35:33,230
>> Stephen: IS THAT ENOUGH?
>> THAT'S ENOUGH.
TO GET THE EXCESS --
1178
00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:33,897
>> THAT'S ENOUGH.
TO GET THE EXCESS --
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
1179
00:35:33,899 --> 00:35:34,931
TO GET THE EXCESS --
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
>> I DO.
1180
00:35:34,933 --> 00:35:36,266
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
>> I DO.
I HAVE AN 11-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER.
1181
00:35:36,268 --> 00:35:37,467
>> I DO.
I HAVE AN 11-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER.
>> Stephen: DO YOU COOK WITH
1182
00:35:37,469 --> 00:35:37,634
I HAVE AN 11-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER.
>> Stephen: DO YOU COOK WITH
HER?
1183
00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:38,368
>> Stephen: DO YOU COOK WITH
HER?
>> YES, I DO.
1184
00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:39,970
HER?
>> YES, I DO.
I COOK ALL THE TIME WITH HER.
1185
00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:41,138
>> YES, I DO.
I COOK ALL THE TIME WITH HER.
>> Stephen: DO YOU COOK WELL
1186
00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:43,073
I COOK ALL THE TIME WITH HER.
>> Stephen: DO YOU COOK WELL
TOGETHER WITH HER?
1187
00:35:43,075 --> 00:35:44,241
>> Stephen: DO YOU COOK WELL
TOGETHER WITH HER?
>> NOT REALLY, NO.
1188
00:35:44,243 --> 00:35:46,076
TOGETHER WITH HER?
>> NOT REALLY, NO.
I MEAN, WE DO, BUT SHE WANTS TO
1189
00:35:46,078 --> 00:35:46,943
>> NOT REALLY, NO.
I MEAN, WE DO, BUT SHE WANTS TO
COOK ON HER OWN.
1190
00:35:46,945 --> 00:35:48,512
I MEAN, WE DO, BUT SHE WANTS TO
COOK ON HER OWN.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE
1191
00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:50,547
COOK ON HER OWN.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE
KITCHEN IT'S KIND OF A PAIN IN
1192
00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:53,750
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE
KITCHEN IT'S KIND OF A PAIN IN
THE ASS TO HAVE PADMA AS YOUR
1193
00:35:53,752 --> 00:35:54,050
KITCHEN IT'S KIND OF A PAIN IN
THE ASS TO HAVE PADMA AS YOUR
MOM.
1194
00:35:54,052 --> 00:35:55,819
THE ASS TO HAVE PADMA AS YOUR
MOM.
SO SHE LIKES TO COOK MORE WITH
1195
00:35:55,821 --> 00:35:56,253
MOM.
SO SHE LIKES TO COOK MORE WITH
OTHER PEOPLE.
1196
00:35:56,255 --> 00:35:58,555
SO SHE LIKES TO COOK MORE WITH
OTHER PEOPLE.
SHE'LL COOK WITH ME, BUT SHE
1197
00:35:58,557 --> 00:36:00,257
OTHER PEOPLE.
SHE'LL COOK WITH ME, BUT SHE
JUST WANTS TO DO HER OWN THING.
1198
00:36:00,259 --> 00:36:02,192
SHE'LL COOK WITH ME, BUT SHE
JUST WANTS TO DO HER OWN THING.
>> Stephen: DOES THIS GO HERE?
1199
00:36:02,194 --> 00:36:02,492
JUST WANTS TO DO HER OWN THING.
>> Stephen: DOES THIS GO HERE?
>> YES.
1200
00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:03,393
>> Stephen: DOES THIS GO HERE?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HOW MUCH TIME DO
1201
00:36:03,395 --> 00:36:04,895
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HOW MUCH TIME DO
WE HAVE HERE?
1202
00:36:04,897 --> 00:36:06,796
>> Stephen: HOW MUCH TIME DO
WE HAVE HERE?
ENOUGH TO FRY SOME SQUID.
1203
00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:08,231
WE HAVE HERE?
ENOUGH TO FRY SOME SQUID.
>> NOT MUCH TIME AT ALL.
1204
00:36:08,233 --> 00:36:12,035
ENOUGH TO FRY SOME SQUID.
>> NOT MUCH TIME AT ALL.
YOU WANT TO TOSS IT AROUND LIKE
1205
00:36:12,037 --> 00:36:12,903
>> NOT MUCH TIME AT ALL.
YOU WANT TO TOSS IT AROUND LIKE
SHAKE AND BAKE.
1206
00:36:12,905 --> 00:36:15,071
YOU WANT TO TOSS IT AROUND LIKE
SHAKE AND BAKE.
>> Stephen: AND WE HELPED!
1207
00:36:15,073 --> 00:36:15,839
SHAKE AND BAKE.
>> Stephen: AND WE HELPED!
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
1208
00:36:15,841 --> 00:36:16,540
>> Stephen: AND WE HELPED!
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
>> I DON'T.
1209
00:36:16,542 --> 00:36:18,441
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
>> I DON'T.
>> Stephen: I'M OLDER THAN YOU
1210
00:36:18,443 --> 00:36:18,708
>> I DON'T.
>> Stephen: I'M OLDER THAN YOU
ARE.
1211
00:36:18,710 --> 00:36:19,009
>> Stephen: I'M OLDER THAN YOU
ARE.
>> YOU ARE.
1212
00:36:19,011 --> 00:36:20,243
ARE.
>> YOU ARE.
>> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
1213
00:36:20,245 --> 00:36:22,245
>> YOU ARE.
>> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
AGREE SO QUICKLY-- "YOU ARE.
1214
00:36:22,247 --> 00:36:22,712
>> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
AGREE SO QUICKLY-- "YOU ARE.
YOU ARE."
1215
00:36:22,714 --> 00:36:24,247
AGREE SO QUICKLY-- "YOU ARE.
YOU ARE."
>> ONCE YOU DO THAT, YOU'RE JUST
1216
00:36:24,249 --> 00:36:26,149
YOU ARE."
>> ONCE YOU DO THAT, YOU'RE JUST
GOING TO TAKE THEM AND --
1217
00:36:26,151 --> 00:36:27,951
>> ONCE YOU DO THAT, YOU'RE JUST
GOING TO TAKE THEM AND --
>> Stephen: OH!
1218
00:36:27,953 --> 00:36:28,251
GOING TO TAKE THEM AND --
>> Stephen: OH!
YEAH!
1219
00:36:28,253 --> 00:36:29,719
>> Stephen: OH!
YEAH!
>> PAN SAUTE THEM.
1220
00:36:29,721 --> 00:36:31,521
YEAH!
>> PAN SAUTE THEM.
>> Stephen: MY FAMILY AND I DO
1221
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:35,659
>> PAN SAUTE THEM.
>> Stephen: MY FAMILY AND I DO
SOMETHING CALLED THE WORLD
1222
00:36:35,661 --> 00:36:37,194
>> Stephen: MY FAMILY AND I DO
SOMETHING CALLED THE WORLD
CALIMARI TOUR, WHEREVER WE ARE
1223
00:36:37,196 --> 00:36:40,297
SOMETHING CALLED THE WORLD
CALIMARI TOUR, WHEREVER WE ARE
IN THE WORLD, WE WILL ORDER THE
1224
00:36:40,299 --> 00:36:41,364
CALIMARI TOUR, WHEREVER WE ARE
IN THE WORLD, WE WILL ORDER THE
FRIED CALIMARI.
1225
00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:43,200
IN THE WORLD, WE WILL ORDER THE
FRIED CALIMARI.
WE KEEP A RATING SYSTEM GOING.
1226
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:45,669
FRIED CALIMARI.
WE KEEP A RATING SYSTEM GOING.
>> THIS SHOULD ONLY TAKE THREE
1227
00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:46,303
WE KEEP A RATING SYSTEM GOING.
>> THIS SHOULD ONLY TAKE THREE
OR FOUR MINUTES.
1228
00:36:46,305 --> 00:36:47,170
>> THIS SHOULD ONLY TAKE THREE
OR FOUR MINUTES.
>> Stephen: OH, GREAT.
1229
00:36:47,172 --> 00:36:48,805
OR FOUR MINUTES.
>> Stephen: OH, GREAT.
>> THIS IS A HEALTHIER VERSION
1230
00:36:48,807 --> 00:36:50,574
>> Stephen: OH, GREAT.
>> THIS IS A HEALTHIER VERSION
AND MORE FRESH, HEALTHIER
1231
00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:52,642
>> THIS IS A HEALTHIER VERSION
AND MORE FRESH, HEALTHIER
VERSION THAN JUST, SAY, THE KIND
1232
00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:54,311
AND MORE FRESH, HEALTHIER
VERSION THAN JUST, SAY, THE KIND
THAT'S SHROUDED IN BATTER AND
1233
00:36:54,313 --> 00:36:56,246
VERSION THAN JUST, SAY, THE KIND
THAT'S SHROUDED IN BATTER AND
DEEP FRIED BECAUSE WE'RE SHALLOW
1234
00:36:56,248 --> 00:36:58,014
THAT'S SHROUDED IN BATTER AND
DEEP FRIED BECAUSE WE'RE SHALLOW
FRYING.
1235
00:36:58,016 --> 00:36:59,082
DEEP FRIED BECAUSE WE'RE SHALLOW
FRYING.
>> Stephen: IF IT'S THE
1236
00:36:59,084 --> 00:36:59,749
FRYING.
>> Stephen: IF IT'S THE
HEALTHIER VERSION.
1237
00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:01,218
>> Stephen: IF IT'S THE
HEALTHIER VERSION.
I'M ON THE CALIMARI DIET.
1238
00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:04,254
HEALTHIER VERSION.
I'M ON THE CALIMARI DIET.
>> CALIMARI IS VERY HEALTHY FOR
1239
00:37:04,256 --> 00:37:04,421
I'M ON THE CALIMARI DIET.
>> CALIMARI IS VERY HEALTHY FOR
YOU.
1240
00:37:04,423 --> 00:37:05,989
>> CALIMARI IS VERY HEALTHY FOR
YOU.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT MADE
1241
00:37:05,991 --> 00:37:06,823
YOU.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT MADE
OF?
1242
00:37:06,825 --> 00:37:07,490
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT MADE
OF?
THAT MUSCLE.
1243
00:37:07,492 --> 00:37:08,191
OF?
THAT MUSCLE.
WHAT IS IT?
1244
00:37:08,193 --> 00:37:09,192
THAT MUSCLE.
WHAT IS IT?
>> IT'S A SQUID.
1245
00:37:09,194 --> 00:37:11,561
WHAT IS IT?
>> IT'S A SQUID.
>> Stephen: I KNOW, BUT WHAT
1246
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:12,262
>> IT'S A SQUID.
>> Stephen: I KNOW, BUT WHAT
IS SCWILD MADE OF.
1247
00:37:12,264 --> 00:37:13,463
>> Stephen: I KNOW, BUT WHAT
IS SCWILD MADE OF.
>> DUH!
1248
00:37:13,465 --> 00:37:14,397
IS SCWILD MADE OF.
>> DUH!
>> Stephen: WHILE WE'RE
1249
00:37:14,399 --> 00:37:15,398
>> DUH!
>> Stephen: WHILE WE'RE
FRYING, LET ME ASK YOU
1250
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:15,832
>> Stephen: WHILE WE'RE
FRYING, LET ME ASK YOU
SOMETHING--
1251
00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:18,935
FRYING, LET ME ASK YOU
SOMETHING--
>> I'M GOING TO MAKE THE TOMATO
1252
00:37:18,937 --> 00:37:19,135
SOMETHING--
>> I'M GOING TO MAKE THE TOMATO
SALAD.
1253
00:37:19,137 --> 00:37:24,975
>> I'M GOING TO MAKE THE TOMATO
SALAD.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS "ATTEMPT "TE
1254
00:37:24,977 --> 00:37:25,775
SALAD.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS "ATTEMPT "TE
NATION "?
1255
00:37:25,777 --> 00:37:28,979
>> Stephen: WHAT IS "ATTEMPT "TE
NATION "?
>> IT IS A SHOW I HOST ON HULU,
1256
00:37:28,981 --> 00:37:31,681
NATION "?
>> IT IS A SHOW I HOST ON HULU,
IT'S ABOUT FOOD AND CULTURE,
1257
00:37:31,683 --> 00:37:32,515
>> IT IS A SHOW I HOST ON HULU,
IT'S ABOUT FOOD AND CULTURE,
IMMIGRANT FOOD IN AMERICA.
1258
00:37:32,517 --> 00:37:34,351
IT'S ABOUT FOOD AND CULTURE,
IMMIGRANT FOOD IN AMERICA.
BUT IT'S A POLITICAL SHOW
1259
00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:35,652
IMMIGRANT FOOD IN AMERICA.
BUT IT'S A POLITICAL SHOW
MASQUERADING AS A FOOD SHOW.
1260
00:37:35,654 --> 00:37:38,588
BUT IT'S A POLITICAL SHOW
MASQUERADING AS A FOOD SHOW.
THE FOOD IS JUST A TROJAN HORSE
1261
00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:39,856
MASQUERADING AS A FOOD SHOW.
THE FOOD IS JUST A TROJAN HORSE
TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND GET TO
1262
00:37:39,858 --> 00:37:41,391
THE FOOD IS JUST A TROJAN HORSE
TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND GET TO
KNOW THEM AND GET TO KNOW
1263
00:37:41,393 --> 00:37:42,125
TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND GET TO
KNOW THEM AND GET TO KNOW
AMERICAN FOOD.
1264
00:37:42,127 --> 00:37:42,892
KNOW THEM AND GET TO KNOW
AMERICAN FOOD.
IT'S ABOUT AMERICAN FOOD.
1265
00:37:42,894 --> 00:37:44,527
AMERICAN FOOD.
IT'S ABOUT AMERICAN FOOD.
>> Stephen: CAN WE TASTE IS
1266
00:37:44,529 --> 00:37:44,961
IT'S ABOUT AMERICAN FOOD.
>> Stephen: CAN WE TASTE IS
NOW?
1267
00:37:44,963 --> 00:37:45,161
>> Stephen: CAN WE TASTE IS
NOW?
WILL.
1268
00:37:45,163 --> 00:37:45,829
NOW?
WILL.
>> SURE.
1269
00:37:45,831 --> 00:37:47,464
WILL.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: SHOULD I SQUEEZE
1270
00:37:47,466 --> 00:37:50,300
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: SHOULD I SQUEEZE
THIS LEMON ON HERE.
1271
00:37:50,302 --> 00:37:52,002
>> Stephen: SHOULD I SQUEEZE
THIS LEMON ON HERE.
>> SQUEEZE SOME LEMON ON HERE.
1272
00:37:52,004 --> 00:37:53,403
THIS LEMON ON HERE.
>> SQUEEZE SOME LEMON ON HERE.
>> Stephen: I HAVE A SPECIFIC
1273
00:37:53,405 --> 00:37:54,404
>> SQUEEZE SOME LEMON ON HERE.
>> Stephen: I HAVE A SPECIFIC
WAY OF SQUEEZING LEMONS.
1274
00:37:54,406 --> 00:37:55,605
>> Stephen: I HAVE A SPECIFIC
WAY OF SQUEEZING LEMONS.
I LEARNED FROM A BARTENDER.
1275
00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:58,441
WAY OF SQUEEZING LEMONS.
I LEARNED FROM A BARTENDER.
>> I'M SHOW YOU HOW YOU DO IT.
1276
00:37:58,443 --> 00:37:59,609
I LEARNED FROM A BARTENDER.
>> I'M SHOW YOU HOW YOU DO IT.
SHOW ME HOW YOU DO IT.
1277
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,545
>> I'M SHOW YOU HOW YOU DO IT.
SHOW ME HOW YOU DO IT.
>> YOU DON'T CUT ACROSS LIKE
1278
00:38:02,547 --> 00:38:02,746
SHOW ME HOW YOU DO IT.
>> YOU DON'T CUT ACROSS LIKE
THIS.
1279
00:38:02,748 --> 00:38:05,448
>> YOU DON'T CUT ACROSS LIKE
THIS.
YOU CUT LIKE THAT SO YOU--
1280
00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:06,483
THIS.
YOU CUT LIKE THAT SO YOU--
>> THAT'S FANCY.
1281
00:38:06,485 --> 00:38:09,419
YOU CUT LIKE THAT SO YOU--
>> THAT'S FANCY.
>> Stephen: IT JUICES REALLY
1282
00:38:09,421 --> 00:38:09,719
>> THAT'S FANCY.
>> Stephen: IT JUICES REALLY
BEAUTIFULLY.
1283
00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:11,421
>> Stephen: IT JUICES REALLY
BEAUTIFULLY.
>> I ROLL MY LEMON, FIRST OF
1284
00:38:11,423 --> 00:38:12,522
BEAUTIFULLY.
>> I ROLL MY LEMON, FIRST OF
ALL, TO GET A NICE --
1285
00:38:12,524 --> 00:38:13,490
>> I ROLL MY LEMON, FIRST OF
ALL, TO GET A NICE --
>> Stephen: ROLL YOUR LEMON.
1286
00:38:13,492 --> 00:38:15,625
ALL, TO GET A NICE --
>> Stephen: ROLL YOUR LEMON.
>> I ROLL MY LEMON AND THEN I
1287
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,060
>> Stephen: ROLL YOUR LEMON.
>> I ROLL MY LEMON AND THEN I
PEN INTEREST RATE IT.
1288
00:38:17,062 --> 00:38:18,295
>> I ROLL MY LEMON AND THEN I
PEN INTEREST RATE IT.
>> Stephen: WHATEVER.
1289
00:38:18,297 --> 00:38:19,062
PEN INTEREST RATE IT.
>> Stephen: WHATEVER.
IT'S A LATE-NIGHT SHOW.
1290
00:38:19,064 --> 00:38:22,666
>> Stephen: WHATEVER.
IT'S A LATE-NIGHT SHOW.
WE C S THAT ON CBS, CAN'T
1291
00:38:22,668 --> 00:38:23,400
IT'S A LATE-NIGHT SHOW.
WE C S THAT ON CBS, CAN'T
WE?
1292
00:38:23,402 --> 00:38:28,004
WE C S THAT ON CBS, CAN'T
WE?
"AND THEN SHE PEN TRAPTED MY
1293
00:38:28,006 --> 00:38:28,972
WE?
"AND THEN SHE PEN TRAPTED MY
LEMON."
1294
00:38:28,974 --> 00:38:32,008
"AND THEN SHE PEN TRAPTED MY
LEMON."
>> AND NO SEEDS OR PULP.
1295
00:38:32,010 --> 00:38:33,376
LEMON."
>> AND NO SEEDS OR PULP.
>> Stephen: MAY I?
1296
00:38:33,378 --> 00:38:35,011
>> AND NO SEEDS OR PULP.
>> Stephen: MAY I?
>> YEAH, IT PROBABLY NEEDS A
1297
00:38:35,013 --> 00:38:35,845
>> Stephen: MAY I?
>> YEAH, IT PROBABLY NEEDS A
PINCH OF SALT.
1298
00:38:35,847 --> 00:38:36,246
>> YEAH, IT PROBABLY NEEDS A
PINCH OF SALT.
>> Stephen: NO.
1299
00:38:36,248 --> 00:38:38,348
PINCH OF SALT.
>> Stephen: NO.
>> HOW IS IT?
1300
00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:40,050
>> Stephen: NO.
>> HOW IS IT?
>> Stephen: THAT IS DELICIOUS.
1301
00:38:40,052 --> 00:38:41,384
>> HOW IS IT?
>> Stephen: THAT IS DELICIOUS.
>> THIS IS A BETTER BITE.
1302
00:38:41,386 --> 00:38:42,085
>> Stephen: THAT IS DELICIOUS.
>> THIS IS A BETTER BITE.
TAKE THIS BITE.
1303
00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:43,720
>> THIS IS A BETTER BITE.
TAKE THIS BITE.
>> Stephen: THIS BITE?
1304
00:38:43,722 --> 00:38:45,422
TAKE THIS BITE.
>> Stephen: THIS BITE?
>> RIGHT HERE.
1305
00:38:45,424 --> 00:38:47,324
>> Stephen: THIS BITE?
>> RIGHT HERE.
HOW IS IT?
1306
00:38:47,326 --> 00:38:48,958
>> RIGHT HERE.
HOW IS IT?
NOT TOO SPICY.
1307
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:53,997
HOW IS IT?
NOT TOO SPICY.
THAT'S RIGHT
1308
00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:54,597
NOT TOO SPICY.
THAT'S RIGHT
>> Stephen: "TASTE THE NATION"
1309
00:38:54,599 --> 00:38:55,098
THAT'S RIGHT
>> Stephen: "TASTE THE NATION"
IS AVAILABLE ON HULU.
1310
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:56,299
>> Stephen: "TASTE THE NATION"
IS AVAILABLE ON HULU.
PADMA LAHKSHMI, EVERYBODY!
1311
00:38:56,301 --> 00:38:57,801
IS AVAILABLE ON HULU.
PADMA LAHKSHMI, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
1312
00:38:57,803 --> 00:38:58,368
PADMA LAHKSHMI, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
CHEERS!
1313
00:38:58,370 --> 00:38:58,935
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
CHEERS!
>> CHEERS!
1314
00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:00,937
CHEERS!
>> CHEERS!
>> Stephen: NO, MINE'S AN
1315
00:39:00,939 --> 00:39:01,504
>> CHEERS!
>> Stephen: NO, MINE'S AN
ACTUAL KNIFE.
1316
00:39:01,506 --> 00:39:03,840
>> Stephen: NO, MINE'S AN
ACTUAL KNIFE.
IENT TO HURT ANY
1317
00:39:09,146 --> 00:39:13,416
LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE SETH ROGEN AND
1318
00:39:13,418 --> 00:39:15,652
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE SETH ROGEN AND
AMBASSADOR SAMANTHA POWER.
1319
00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:18,555
WILL BE SETH ROGEN AND
AMBASSADOR SAMANTHA POWER.
IT'S OUR LAST SHOW IN THIS ROOM.
1320
00:39:18,557 --> 00:39:20,757
AMBASSADOR SAMANTHA POWER.
IT'S OUR LAST SHOW IN THIS ROOM.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
1321
00:39:20,759 --> 00:39:21,825
IT'S OUR LAST SHOW IN THIS ROOM.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
1322
00:39:21,827 --> 00:39:22,692
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪
1323
00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:23,093
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
1324
00:39:23,095 --> 00:39:24,561
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO DO A
1325
00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:26,329
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO DO A
LITTLE SLATE FOR OUR SOUND
1326
00:39:26,331 --> 00:39:28,031
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO DO A
LITTLE SLATE FOR OUR SOUND
EDITORS BECAUSE THE ZOOM DOESN'T
1327
00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:29,165
LITTLE SLATE FOR OUR SOUND
EDITORS BECAUSE THE ZOOM DOESN'T
MATCH OUR LIPS VERY WELL.
1328
00:39:29,167 --> 00:39:31,468
EDITORS BECAUSE THE ZOOM DOESN'T
MATCH OUR LIPS VERY WELL.
IT GOES LIKE THIS, "STEPHEN
1329
00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:32,802
MATCH OUR LIPS VERY WELL.
IT GOES LIKE THIS, "STEPHEN
COLBERT, ONE, TWO, THREE."
1330
00:39:32,804 --> 00:39:34,003
IT GOES LIKE THIS, "STEPHEN
COLBERT, ONE, TWO, THREE."
IF YOU DO THE SAME THING WITH
1331
00:39:34,005 --> 00:39:36,740
COLBERT, ONE, TWO, THREE."
IF YOU DO THE SAME THING WITH
YOUR NAME, NOT MINE, THAT WILL
1332
00:39:36,742 --> 00:39:37,407
IF YOU DO THE SAME THING WITH
YOUR NAME, NOT MINE, THAT WILL
BE RIGHT.
1333
00:39:37,409 --> 00:39:41,978
YOUR NAME, NOT MINE, THAT WILL
BE RIGHT.
>> TORI SAMPSON, ( BLEEP ).
1334
00:39:41,980 --> 00:39:44,180
BE RIGHT.
>> TORI SAMPSON, ( BLEEP ).
>> Stephen: I'D LIKE THAT AS
1335
00:39:44,182 --> 00:39:47,484
>> TORI SAMPSON, ( BLEEP ).
>> Stephen: I'D LIKE THAT AS
MY NEW RING TONE, PLEASE.