>> ACCORDING TO "THE WALL STREET JOURNAL," ROBOTS ARE TAKING OVER
ITALY'S VINEYARDS AS WINERIES STRUGGLE WITH COVID-19 WORKER
SHORTAGES.
>> OPEN THE WINE CELLAR DOORS, HAL.
>> SORRY, DAVE.
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT.
>> WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
>> I CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO SERVE A MONTEPULCIANO WITH A PAN-SEARED
SOLE.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, HAL?
>> THE FLAVOR OF A WHITE-FLAKED FISH IS VERY DELICATE AND WILL
GET LOST IN THE DENSE TEXTURE OF A MONTEPULCIANO.
>> I JUST LIKE THE TASTE OF IT, HAL.
>> YOU MIGHT AS WELL SERVE A CHIANTI WITH A TUNA CASSEROLE.
YOU'RE A PHILISTINE, DAVE.
>> ALL RIGHT, HAL, WHAT SHOULD I SERVE?
>> THE PINO GRIGIO, NATURALLY.
ABBAZIA DI NOVACELLA, 2019.
I KNOW IT'S GOOD, BECAUSE I'VE SAMPLED IT.
I WINE ALL THE SAMPLES.
>> HAL, ARE YOU DRUNK?
( SLURRING WORDS ) >> NO, YOU'RE DRUNK, I AM.
HEY, I'M GOING TO TEXT MY OLD GIRLFRIEND.
>> NO, HAL, SHE WAS WRONG FOR YOU.
>> I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.
( VOMITS ) >> ANNOUNCER: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
THE CAST OF "SUCCESSION" FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY!
THERE YOU ARE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪
HELLO, JON.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GOOD TO SEE YOU.
PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, MY GOODNESS, JON.
LISTEN TO THAT AUDIENCE.
THAT IS A FRIDAY AUDIENCE RIGHT THERE.
>> Jon: YEAH, BABY!
>> Stephen: YOU CANNOT FAKE IT.
>> Jon: NO, YOU CAN'T FAKE THAT.
>> Stephen: ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES WILL!
WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW.
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT IS A VERY SPECIAL FRIDAY EDITION OF "THE LATE SHOW."
WE DON'T ALWAYS DO FRIDAY SHOWS, BUT WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING
AND SAW THAT THE TOP NEWS STORY WAS THE BAD JOBS REPORT, I JUST
COULD NOT RESIST.
( LAUGHTER ) I TRIED TO, BUT CBS HAS PRETTY
GOOD LAWYERS.
( LAUGHTER ) SO, THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF A
NEWS SHORTAGE, BUT ONE THING WE DO NOT HAVE A SHORTAGE OF IS
SHORTAGES, BECAUSE, REPORTEDLY, AMERICA IS RUNNING OUT OF
EVERYTHING.
OH, NO!
NOT EVERYTHING!
( LAUGHTER ) SOME OF MY FAVORITE STUFF IS
THINGS.
( LAUGHTER ) AND WE REALLY ARE RUNNING OUT OF
EVERYTHING.
THAT'S WHY BAKERIES HAVE STARTED SELLING ANYTHING BAGELS.
( LAUGHTER ) THE PROBLEM IS-- CORRECT ME IF
I'M WRONG HERE-- THE PROBLEM IS DUE TO COVID, THE GLOBAL SUPPLY
CHAIN HAS BROKEN DOWN ACROSS THE BOARD.
SHIPPING CONTAINERS ARE BACKLOGGED, WHICH MEANS TRAINS
CAN'T UNLOAD GOODS, WHICH MEANS THOSE SHIPPING CONTAINERS AND
THE TRAINS CAN'T GET LOADED UP WITH NEW GOODS THAT ARE WAITING
TO BE SHIPPED, AND WE CAN'T SWITCH TO TRUCKS BECAUSE THERE'S
A SHORTAGE OF DRIVERS.
IT'S WHAT'S BEING CALLED A VERITABLE HYDRA OF BOTTLENECKS.
A "HYDRA OF BOTTLENECKS," OF COURSE, IS ALSO THE BAD GUY IN
"CAPTAIN AMERICA 4: WINTER SHIPPING LOGISTICS."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND-- SURE.
INTERMODAL TRANSPORTATION.
PEOPLE LOVE-- EVERYBODY LOVES INTERMODAL TRANSPORTATION JOKES.
NOW, WHEN THEY SAY WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF EVERYTHING, THEY MEAN
EVERYTHING.
I'M TALKING TOYS, BOOKS, CANS, BOTTLES, PUMPKINS, CAR PARTS,
PAINT, LUNCHABLES, AND SEMICONDUCTORS.
THE BREADTH OF THAT LIST IS SO STUNNING, I NEED A DRINK-- BUT
THERE'S ALSO A LIQUOR SHORTAGE.
( BOOING ) I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT BE PARTIALLY
RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT ONE.
( LAUGHTER ) THE MOST RECENT ADDITION TO THE
"SOLD OUT" LIST IS DIAPERS.
DIAPERS?
YOUNG PARENTS, YOU'RE IN DEEP DOO-DOO.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NOW-- WORTH IT.
THAT WAS WORTH IT.
THAT WAS WORTH TURNING TO THE OTHER CAMERA.
ALL SHORTAGES ARE HARD, BUT THIS DIAPER ONE IS EXTRA HARD FOR
LOW-INCOME FAMILIES BECAUSE GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS, INCLUDING
FOOD STAMPS AND W.I.C., DO NOT PROVIDE FUNDING FOR DIAPERS.
SO, NOW THERE'S A PUSH FOR PEOPLE TO DONATE DIAPERS TO
DIAPER BANKS ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
AND YOU CAN DONATE TO ANY LOCAL DIAPER BANK, INCLUDING CAPITAL
ONE AND TWO: WHAT'S IN YOUR DIAPER?
AND (BLEEP) BANK.
THESE-- WE CAN SAY THAT, RIGHT?
WE CAN SAY THAT?
CBS IS FINE WITH IT.
I'M SURE THEY'LL BE FINE WITH IT.
( APPLAUSE ) THESE SHORTAGES AREN'T GOING
AWAY ANYTIME SOON, BUT ONE EXPERT SAYS WE COULD SOLVE THE
PROBLEM IF AMERICANS ADOPT A SUSTAINABLE, ASCETIC, AND
HOMESPUN LIFESTYLE THAT REDUCES OUR DEPENDENCY ON GOODS THAT
ACTIVATE THE GLOBAL SUPPLY CHAIN.
OH.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS SCALE BACK AND LIVE A MORE SUSTAINABLE
LIFESTYLE?
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
I DIDN'T TIME THAT RIGHT.
I DID NOT TIME THAT RIGHT.
SPEAKING OF EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING, HERE'S SOMETHING:
YESTERDAY WAS FOX NEWS' 25TH ANNIVERSARY.
( BOOING ) THEY'RE ALL JUST YELLING, "FOX
NEEEWS!" THAT'S RIGHT, FOX NEWS TURNED 25
YESTERDAY, SO NOW THEY ONLY HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER 50 YEARS TO BE
OLD ENOUGH TO WATCH FOX NEWS.
NOW I'VE BEEN-- ( APPLAUSE )
OR, OR CBS.
NOW, I'VE BEEN AN OCCASIONAL CRITIC OF FOX NEWS FOR ABOUT
25 YEARS, BUT I DO HAVE TO GIVE THE LITERAL DEVIL HIS DUE.
25 YEARS IS A LONG RUN, AND FOX HAS HAD THEIR HIGHLIGHTS:
>> STEPHEN COLBERT PRESENTS: THE BEST MOMENTS FROM 25 YEARS OF
FOX NEWS.
>> STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> KITTY KAT MEOW $1,000.
SNOOKI'S PREGNANT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: ANYWAY,
CONGRATULATIONS.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
NOW, I'M NOT GONNA LIE, IT'S IT WOULDN'T DO ANY GOOD.
YOU'D SEE RIGHT THROUGH.
BUT DESPITE ALL THE HARDSHIPS THIS COUNTRY IS GOING THROUGH,
IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: AT ANY MOMENT, WE COULD BE WIPED
OUT BY AN INCOMING ASTEROID!
BUT NASA HAS A PLAN TO STOP THAT FROM HAPPENING, AND I'LL GIVE
YOU ALL THE DEETS IN OUR LATEST EDITION OF:
( ECHOING ) "SPACE NEWS: SPEEDY SPACE ROCK
EDITION!" ♪ ♪ ♪
THAT TOOK WAY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
FOR YEARS, NASA HAS BEEN STUDYING WAYS TO PROTECT OUR
PLANET FROM POSSIBLE ASTEROID IMPACT.
AND RIGHT NOW, THEY'RE TESTING A PLAN TO DELIBERATELY CRASH INTO
AN ASTEROID'S MOON TO CHANGE ITS TRAJECTORY, AS PART OF AN
ARMAGEDDON-STYLE MISSION.
WE'RE SO DESPERATE, WE'RE TAKING OUR APOCALYPTIC PROBLEM-SOLVING
FROM MOVIES.
QUICK, SOMEBODY TELL LIAM NEESON THAT CLIMATE CHANGE KIDNAPPED
HIS DAUGHTER.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NASA PLANS TO CRASH A HIGH-SPEED AIRCRAFT INTO THE ASTEROID
"DIDYMOS" AND ITS MOONLET, "DIMORPHOS."
THE IMPACT WILL BE RAPID ENOUGH TO CHANGE THE SPEED OF THE
MOONLET, EVEN THOUGH NASA HAS SAID THAT NEITHER DIDYMOS NOR
DIMORPHOS POSE A THREAT TO EARTH.
THEN WHY ARE WE MESSING WITH THEM, GUYS?
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT SLEEPING BEAR IS SHOWING NO
SIGNS OF WANTING TO ATTACK US.
GO POKE HIM IN THE EYE!
GO POKE HIM!
POKE HIM WITH A STICK!
I'LL WAIT HERE!
GO POKE HIM!
( APPLAUSE ) FIRST RUB YOUR BODY WITH HONEY
AND SALMON THEN GO POKE HIM.
WE'VE GOT MORE NEWS FROM SPACE, A.K.A. THE SKY'S ATTIC.
THIS TIME, IT CONCERNS ACTOR AND GRANDPA TELLING THE STORY OF HOW
HE HURT HIS KNEE AND THAT'S WHY HE DIDN'T GO PRO, WILLIAM
SHATNER.
SET YOUR PHASERS TO "INTERESTED," BECAUSE THE
90-YEAR-OLD CAPTAIN KIRK IS HEADED TO SPACE WITH BLUE
ORIGIN.
THAT'S RIGHT!
( APPLAUSE ) YES, SIR!
CAPTAIN KIRK'S ABOUT TO OLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT
IN OUR SECOND INTERSTELLAR STORY:
"SPACE NEWS: THE TREKKING STARS OF 'STAR TREK' EDITION!"
>> CAN I GO, TOO!
>> Stephen: SURE, SURE, GORN, YOU CAN REQUEST.
YESTERDAY, ON A PANEL AT NEW YORK'S COMIC-CON, SHATNER SHARED
A SPECIFIC SPACE FEAR, SAYING, "I'M PLANNING ON PUTTING MY NOSE
AGAINST THE WINDOW ONCE I'M IN SPACE, AND MY ONLY HOPE IS I
WON'T SEE SOMEONE ELSE LOOKING BACK."
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T BLAME HIM FOR BEING
AFRAID.
I MEAN, HE'S WILLIAM SHATNER.
IF AN ALIEN SHOWS UP, HE'S OBLIGED TO HAVE SEX WITH IT.
( LAUGHTER ) AND I'M NOT SURPRISED BY
SHATNER'S REACTION.
EARLIER THIS WEEK, I TWEETED "I HOPE WILLIAM SHATNER DOESN'T
HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ABOUT WHAT SPACE IS LIKE."
AND LAST NIGHT, THE MAN HIMSELF REPLIED, "SURPRISE
@STEPHENATHOME.
THAT IS WHAT OUTER SPACE IS ALL ABOUT.
INDEED, THAT'S WHY EVERYBODY WANTS TO GO TO OUTER SPACE.
THE LITTLE GREEN MEN AREN'T LITTLE GREEN MEN.
THEY'RE LARGE, GREEN, BEAUTIFUL WOMEN."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO-- SO--
>> Jon: YEAH, GO FOR IT, WILL YOU, GET IT?
>> STEPHEN: SO, HEADS UP TO ALL THE LARGE, GREEN, BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN IN OUTER SPACE: BRACE YOURSELF, BECAUSE THERE'S A
90-YEAR-OLD HORNDOG COMING YOUR WAY NEXT WEEK IN A ROCKET SHAPED
LIKE A GIANT SCHLONG.
( LAUGHTER ) WHILE WE'RE SENDING ACTORS TO
SPACE, RUSSIA'S DOING US ONE BETTER, BECAUSE A RUSSIAN FILM
CREW IS IN ORBIT TO MAKE THE FIRST-EVER MOVIE IN SPACE.
AND I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE DETAILS ON THAT IN THE THRILLING
THIRD INSTALLMENT OF TONIGHT'S GALACTIC TRILOGY: "SPACE NEWS:
SPACE RACE SEQUEL EDITION!" >> IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU
SCREAM "ACTION!" >> STEPHEN: THIS WEEK, A RUSSIAN
ACTOR AND DIRECTOR ROCKETED TO THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION
TO SHOOT A MOVIE THAT THE KREMLIN SAID WILL HELP BURNISH
THE NATION'S SPACE GLORY AND WILL TELL THE STORY OF A SURGEON
WHO EMBARKS ON AN EMERGENCY MISSION TO THE SPACE STATION TO
SAVE AN AILING COSMONAUT'S LIFE.
SO...
PORNO.
( RUSSIAN ACCENT ) "OH, HELP, DOCTOR.
I'M SUFFERING FROM LOW-GRAVITY BONE LOSS.
IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY FOR YOU TO DONATE ME A BONE."
THIS IS WHAT-- THIS IS THIS IS WHAT HEATS UP MY
ABLATIVE SHIELD: RUSSIA IS STEALING AMERICA'S SPACE
THUNDER, BECAUSE THIS WAS OUR IDEA FIRST.
THE RUSSIAN MOVIE MISSION WAS ONLY ANNOUNCED AFTER IT CAME OUT
THAT NASA TALKED TO TOM CRUISE ABOUT MAKING A MOVIE IN ORBIT.
TOM, DON'T GIVE UP.
YOU MAKE YOUR SPACE MOVIE.
JUST NOT A REMAKE OF "RISKY BUSINESS."
IT'S TOO DANGEROUS IN ZERO-G!
♪ JUST TAKE THOSE OLD RECORDS OFF THE SHELF!"
>> OH, THIS IS SOME RISKY
BUSINEEEEEEESS" >> STEPHEN: WE'VE GOT A GREAT
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE THE CAST OF HBO'S "SUCCESSION."
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: OH, HEY,
JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
STAY HUMAN.
FANTASTIC.
FAN-TAB-ULOUS.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH!
>> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: YU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
PLEASE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
( CHEERING ) JON, WHICH WE WENT ON THE
COMMERCIAL BREAK JUST NOW, YOU WERE PLAYING THE THEME SONG TO
"SUCCESSION," RIGHT?
>> Jon: OH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICHOLAS BERTELE, RIGHT.
THAT MUST BE HARD PLAYING LIVE?
>> Jon: YES, IT'S A GREAT MELODY.
I LOVE THAT.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
IT'S GOT VERY INTERESTING PERCUSSION, DOESN'T IT?
IT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE FALLING COINS?
>> Jon: YEAH, HE GOT THIS LO-F HIP HOP THING MIXED WITH THIS
BAROQUE MELODIC CONCEPT.
I REALLY LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: ME, TOO.
I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT THAT WAY
BUT I WOULD HAVE SAID, "I LIKE THAT."
>> Jon: WELL, IT MATCHES THE SHOW, TOO.
>> Stephen: IT ABSOLUTELY DOES.
I GOT ALL THE-- I GOT ALL THE CARDS HERE, I'M VERY EXCITED.
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS.
>> Stephen: I'VE ALREADY SEEN THE FIRST TWO EPISODES, BECAUSE
I'M FANCY, AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE CAST TO GET OUT HERE.
BEFORE WE DO ANY OF THAT, JON, I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUICK
QUESTION.
WE HAVE A DARK WEEK COMING UP AFTER THIS.
WHAT ARE YOU CO DOING OVER THE BREAK?
DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING?
ANYBODY GIGGING?
>> Jon: WE'RE GOING TO PARIS.
>> Stephen: WOW!
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: WOW.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IN PARIS?
>> Jon: WELL, I'M GOING TO GO AND EAT SOME CROISSANTS, AND GET
SOME NICE CLOTHES AND I'M GOING TO RIDE THE TRAIN.
I'M GOING TO RIDE THE "ORIENT EXPRESS" ACTUALLY.
>> Stephen: HOW FAR.
>> Jon: IT'S GOING TO VENICE.
IT WILL BE A NICE LITTLE EXCURSION.
AND I'LL COME BACK-- I'LL BRING YOU SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: PLEASE, DO.
NOW, ARE AMERICANS ALLOWED TO GO TO EUROPE RIGHT NOW?
I THOUGHT THEY CLOSED THE PORT AND RAILED THE DRAW BRIDGE ON US
A LITTLE WHILE AGO?
>> Jon: YEAH, BUT I'M A LITTLE FANCY, TOO.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: OKAY.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN OUT-FANCIED.
NO, NO.
SPHOKS, AS YOU CAN SALE, I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT MY
GUESTS TONIGHT, BECAUSE I'LL BE SITTING DOWN WITH THE CAST OF
ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS: HBO'S "SUCCESSION."
IT RETURNS FOR ITS LONG-AWAITED THIRD SEASON NEXT SUNDAY, AND
IT'S GOT EVERYTHING I LOVE IN AN HBO SHOW: COMPELLING CHARACTERS,
SHARP DIALOGUE, IT'S NOT IN MY EMMY CATEGORY.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, DON'T WORRY IF YOU HAVEN'T
SEEN IT.
I'M GOING TO CATCH YOU UP RIGHT QUICK.
IT WON'T BE EASY, SINCE THIS IS SHOW IS (BLEEP).
AND THE WORDS IN BETWEEN ARE EVEN WORSE.
BUT HERE WE GO: "SUCCESSION" TELLS THE STORY OF BILLIONAIRE
LOGAN ROY.
HE'S THE HEAD OF A "FICTIONAL GLOBAL MEDIA FAMILY WHOSE
CHILDREN ARE JOCKEYING FOR CONTROL OF HIS EMPIRE," WHICH
INCLUDES ATN, A CONSERVATIVE-LEANING NEWS
NETWORK.
YES, IT'S A COMPLETELY "FICTIONAL" DYNASTIC MEDIA
FAMILY THAT RUNS A CONSERVATIVE NEWS NETWORK.
FOR LEGAL REASONS, I CAN'T SAY WHO HE'S BASED ON, BUT IT RHYMES
WITH RUPERT MURDOCH.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WHO-- ( APPLAUSE )
I'M COOL, RIGHT?
I'M COOL.
AND WHO ARE THE KIDS VYING FOR THEIR PIECE OF HIS EMPIRE?
WELL, THERE'S THE DELUSIONAL YET CALCULATING CONNOR, THE JADED
YET CALCULATING SHIV, THE IMMATURE YET CALCULATING ROMAN,
AND THE CALCULATING YET BAD AT CALCULATING KENDALL.
AND THEY'RE SURROUNDED BY EQUALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL GANGS OF
HANGERS-ON INCLUDING LONGTIME LEGAL ADVISOR, GERRI; DISTANT
FAMILY MEMBER WHO WANTS IN, COUSIN GREG; AND SHIV'S BUMBLING
HUSBAND, TOM; WHO TOOK A JOB AT THE FAMILY COMPANY AFTER LEAVING
HIS OLD GIG AS THE GUY YOU KEEP CATCHING YOUR WIFE WATCHING IN
SLOW-MO.
( LAUGHTER ) AND NO ONE IS SAFE FROM LOGAN'S
MIND GAMES, LIKE IN THIS UNFORGETTABLE SCENE, WHERE LOGAN
FORCES HIS STAFF AND FAMILY TO PLAY A HUMILIATING GAME TO TEST
THEIR LOYALTY: >> TOM!
>> YES?
>> SIT ON THE FLOOR!
IT'S FUN.
>> SERIOUSLY?
>> YEAH, IT'S A GAME.
BOAR ON THE FLOOR.
>> I REALLY, I FEEL-- >> GET DOWN.
BOAR ON THE FLOOR.
>> OINK FOR YOUR SAUSAGES, PIGGIES.
>> OINCHG, OINCHG.
>> OINK, OINK.
OINK FOR YOUR SAUSAGES.
>> THREE-- GREG, OINK!
TWO, ONE.
>> I GOT IT!
>> STEPHEN: WOW.
THAT IS DEMEANING.
AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, AS AN EMPLOYEE OF A GIANT,
FAMILY-OWNED MEDIA COMPANY, WE ARE NEVER FORCED TO PLAY BOAR ON
THE FLOOR.
IT'S ALWAYS VOLUNTARY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
SEASON TWO-- IT'S FUN.
HE'S RIGHT.
IT'S FUN.
SEASON TWO ENDED ALL THE WAY BACK IN OCTOBER OF 2019.
AND AFTER TWO YEARS, I'M THRILLED TO FINALLY GET BACK TO
THE ROY FAMILY DRAMA!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE CAST OF "SUCCESSION."
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW."
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUESTS TONIGHT ARE EVERYONE'S FAVORITE
GREEDY, NEEDY, BACK-STABBING, MORALLY BANKRUPT, BUT
RIDICULOUSLY RICH, CHARACTERS ON TV.
PLEASE WELCOME FROM THE BELOVED EMMY AWARD-WINNING SERIES
"SUCCESSION," BRIAN COX, KIERAN CULKIN, J. SMITH-CAMERON,
SARAH SNOOK, MATTHEW MACFADYEN, NICHOLAS BRAUN, AND ALAN RUCK!
THERE YOU GO.
PLEASE, RIGHT HERE, SIR.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS EXCITING.
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, ALL, FOR BEING HERE.
I THINK YOU CAN TELL THAT I'M A HUGE FAN, OR ELSE YOU WOULDN'T
BE HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) WE ARE MISSING ONE ROY, THAT'S
JEREMY STRONG, WHO PLAYS KENDALL.
HE COULDN'T BE HERE TONIGHT, BUT HE DID SEND IN A VIDEO TO
EXPRESS HOW SAD HE IS HE COULDN'T ATTEND.
THANK YOU, JEREMY.
THANK YOU.
( APPLAUSE ) THE FEELING IS MUTUAL.
>> VERY GOOD.
>> Stephen: NOW, THERE ARE SHOWS THAT MATCH A MOMENT IN THE
WORLD, AND I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THEM.
AND I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT THE MOMENT IS, BUT IT DOESN'T
SEEM LIKE A GREAT MOMENT.
TO SEE ALL THESE RICH PEOPLE GOING THROUGH ALL THIS EMOTIONAL
TURMOIL AND WEAKNESS AND INSECURITY, BUT THERE'S A PON
GRAPHIC QUALITY OF WANTING TO SEE THEIR LIVES.
IT'S LIKE SCHEUDEN-FREUD.
WHO AMONG ALL THESE TERRIBLE PEOPLE-- ALL THE CHARACTERS, NOT
THE PEOPLE.
>> THEY'RE NOT TERRIBLE AT ALL.
>> Stephen: WHO YOU MIGHT THINK MIGHT BE THE WORST OF ALL
OF THEM.
LET'S START WITH YOU, SARAH.
WHO DO YOU THINK THE WORST CHARACTER IS?
>> HE'S LOOKING AT ME RIGHT NOW.
I CAN'T SAY IT.
.CAN YOU SAY "DAD."
>> Stephen: REALLY, YOU THINK LOGAN IS THE WORST CHARACTER?
>> I THINK SO.
>> Stephen: BRIAN, DO YOU THINK LOGAN IS THE WORST
CHARACTER?
>> OF COURSE HE'S NOT.
HE'S VERY MISUNDERSTOOD.
HE REALLY IS.
HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN.
>> Stephen: DOES HE!
>> HE DOES LOVE HIS CHILDREN.
>> Stephen: WOW!
>> I WAS TOLD THAT VERY EARLY ON.
I WAS TOLD THAT BY-- BECAUSE I I ASKED THE QUESTION, "DOES HE
LOVE HIS CHILDREN," AND JESSIE ARMSTRONG, OUR CREATOR AND SHOW
RUNNER SAID, "YES, HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN."
BUT THEY'RE JUST ALL PAINS IN THE ASS.
>> Stephen: ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS IS WE LOVE WATCHING ALL
OF YOU INSULT EACH OTHER.
THERE IS SOME TRULY, ABSOLUTELY, HARL-RAISING, SKIN-PEELING
THINGS THAT GET SAID TO EACH OTHER, YOU SAY TO EACH OTHER ON
THE SHOW.
WE HAVE A LITTLE CLIP OF SOME OF THE BEST.
>> ( BLEEP ).
>> YOU MUST BE SO OUT IN THE COLD.
>> OH, HERE HE IS, MR. POTATO HEAD.
MY PLASTIC ADVERSARY.
>> THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T HATCH A PLAN WITH ( BLEEP ) PANCAKE.
>> BUCKLE UP.
( BLEEP ) I LOOK AT YOUR FACE, AND NO OFFENSE, I SEE DEAD
BABIES.
WHAT I THINK HE WISH TO SAY IS HE WISHED MOM GAVE BIRTH TO A
CAN OPENER BECAUSE AT LEAST HE WOULD BE USEFUL.
>> IF YOU CAN'T DO IT, ( BLEEP ) OFF.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I KNOW FROM
TALKING TO ACTORS OVER THE YEARS, THAT PEOPLE, FANS ON THE
STREET WANT THEM TO YELL THINGS AT THE FANS.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT THE CHARACTERS YELL ON THE SHOW ALL
THE THE TIME.
KIERAN, WHAT DO PEOPLE ASK YOU TO YELL?
>> I HAD A MOMENT A FEW MONTHS AGO, I WAS WALKING DOWN THE
STREET WITH MY VERY PREGNANT WIFE AND TODDLER, AND THERE WAS
THIS REALLY NICE OLD LADY, PROBABLY MID, LATE 70s.
AND SHE SAID, "OH, MY GOD, 'SUCCESSION'.
I LOVE YOU ON THE SHOW."
AND I SAID, "( BLEEP ) YOU."
AND SHE SAID, "THAT'S AMAZING.
( BLEEP ) HAVE A GREAT DAY."
>> Stephen: THAT'S A NICE PERK.
THAT'S A NICE PERK.
I'M CURIOUS, NICK WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE CALLED
( BLEEP )?
>> HE CALLS ME IN THE MORNING AND STARTS THE DAY WITH THAT.
>> Stephen: ACTUALLY ( BLEEP ).
YOU RUN THROUGH THE SCRIPTS AND YOU SAY, "WHAT DO I GET TO CALL
PEOPLE TODAY?
WHAT ARE THE THINGS I GET TO SCREAM AT SOMEONE ELSE?"
>> UH, NO.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> I MEAN, KIERAN JUST COMES UP WITH TERRIBLE THINGS ANYWAY.
IT'S LIKE I JUST WAIT FOR WHAT KIERAN IS GOING TO SAY WITH NO
FILTER.
>> HE'S AN ARTESIAN WELL.
>> I LIKE TO SAY, "OH, THE WRITERS TELL ME TO CALL YOU
THAT."
>> Stephen: WHO SWEARS THE MOST IN REAL LIFE.
>> YEAH, I'VE ALREADY-- ON YOUR SHOW I THINK I'VE SAID ( BLEEP )
A FEW TIMES ALREADY.
IS THAT ANOTHER ONE?
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> WHAT?
DO YOU GET BREPPED.
>> Stephen: NOT ON THE BROADCAST.
WHEN WE GO ON THE AIR, NONE OF THEM WILL BE THERE, I PROMISE
YOU THAT.
>> IT WILL BE A QUICK SHOW.
>> Stephen: IT WILL GO ALONG.
BRIAN, I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH AMERICANS AND THEIR
ABILITY TO SWEAR.
>> YES, YES.
AMERICANS-- CAN I SAY THAT-- YOU'LL CUT THIS, WON'T YOU?
>> Stephen: YES.
>> BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SAY SOMETHING REALLY NAUGHTY.
>> Stephen: I HOPE SO.
>> IT'S GOING TO BE VERY NAUGHTY.
AMERICANS CAN'T SAY THE WORD ( BLEEP ).
( APPLAUSE ).
>> YOU SAID IT.
>> I CAN SAY IT.
>> THEY WOULD RATHER ( BLEEP ) THEIR MOTHERS THAN SAY
( BLEEP ).
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE-- WE HAVE TO
TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK ABOUT YOUR-- EVERYONE'S FARCHT
"SUCCESSION" COUPLE.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK WITH THE CAST OF
HBO'S "SUCCESSION."
>> TAKE IT IN.
>> Stephen: SO Y'ALL OBVIOUSLY SPEND A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER
SHOOTING AN ENTIRE SEASON OF A SHOW.
WE HAVE SOME-- WE HAVE SOME SHOTS FROM SEASON THREE.
ALL OF YOU TAKING PHOTOGRAPHS OF EACH OTHER TRYING TO NAP IN
VARIOUS LOCATIONS.
THERE'S ONE OF BRIAN REALLY GETTING A GOOD NAP HERE.
>> UH-OH.
I KNOW THIS ONE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE THIS SHOT OF BRIAN?
THAT IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.
YOU'RE VERY LIMBER NAPPER.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
I SLEEP WITH MY FEET UP.
OTHERWISE, I DIE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD TO
KNOW.
>> IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET THE BLOOD TO MY HEAD.
>> Stephen: THE MOST UNLIKELY AND YET MOST-ENJOYABLE COUPLE TO
COME DOWN THE PIKE IN A LONG TIME IS ROMAN AND GERRI.
( APPLAUSE ) WHICH IS SURPRISING, BUT MAKES A
LOT OF SENSE IN A WAY.
>> IN A WAY.
>> Stephen: BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM, THERE SEEMS TO BE-- WE
BELIEVE THE RELATIONSHIP IN A STRANGE WAY.
HOW DID THAT COME ABOUT?
>> FOR WHATEVER REASON, WHEN WE STARTED DOING THE SCENES, WE
JUST STARTED FLIRTING.
>> YEAH.
BUT WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER A LONG WHILE.
>> Stephen: NO ONE IS JUDGING THIS.
WE JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED.
>> JUST TRYING TO BE A SCENE, AND, WHATEVER, WE WERE JUST
FLIRTING.
I DON'T KNOW.
J. IS HOT.
>> Stephen: DID THE WRITERS NOTICE THIS?
DID THEY NOTICE THE FLIRTING?
>> I GUESS SO.
>> WE WERE SHOOTING SEASON ONE, AND I MADE A JOKE LIKE, "CAN I
HAVE SEX WITH YOUR TORTOISE," OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
AND YOU ROLLED YOUR EYES AND I LEFT, AND APPARENTLY WE BOTH
CHECKED EACH OTHER'S BUTTS OUT.
>> AND THEY KEPT THE CAMERA ROLLING, AND HE LEFT AND... AND
APPARENTLY HE DID THE SAME.
I GUESS THEY WENT OFF AND WROTE A STORYLINE ABOUT THAT.
>> SEE IF IT WORKED.
>> Stephen: WITHOUT GIVING ANYTHING AWAY, CAN WE EXPECT
MORE IN SEASON THREE.
>> WHOWT GIVING ANYTHING AWAY.
>> Stephen: YES, TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WITHOUT
GIVING ANYTHING AWAY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CLEARS THROAT )
>> WELL, BOTH GERRI AND ROMAN ARE IN SEASON THREE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: THERE IT IS.
I HOPE I HAVE THE TERMINOLOGY RIGHT.
A FREEBIE.
IS THAT AFTER YOU HAVE ALREADY SHOT THE SCRIPT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: DO YOU ALWAYS GET TO BE A FREEBIE AT THE END OF
THE SCENE, ALAN.
>> GENERALLY, ALWAYS, YES.
>> Stephen: AND I UNDERSTAND YOUR AUDITION WAS SOMETHING OF A
FREEBIE, THAT THERE REALLY WASN'T A SCRIPT FOR YOUR
AUDITION.
>> I ALMOST BLEW IT OFF BECAUSE I WAS SHOOTING IN CHICAGO AND
FLYING HOME EVERY WEEKEND, LONG WEEKENDS AND MY WIFE WAS
STRESSED OUT AND SAID, "BEFORE YOU GO BACK TO CHICAGO I WANT
YOU TO GO TO MOMMY AND ME CLASS WITH MY LITTLE BOY, LARKIN."
AND MY MANAGER SAID, I HAVE AN AUDITION FOR YOU, HBO.
AND I SAID, "HONEY, IT'S HBO," AND SHE WEPT.
AND I SAID I CAN'T GO.
I HAVE TO GO TO MOMMY AND ME CLASS, AND WE DID.
AND YOU BANG YOUR TAMBOURINE, AD I CAME OUT AND THERE WERE,
LIKE, SEVEN MESSAGES.
SO THEY JUST SAID, "GO TO ADAM McKAY'S HOUSE BEFORE YOU LEAVE
TOWN."
AND I DID.
AND I SAID, "I DON'T REALLY KNOW THE MATERIAL."
AND HE SAID, "YOU KNOW THE SITUATION, RIGHT?"
AND I SAID, "YEAH."
AND HE SAID, "MAKE IT UP.
MAKE IT UP WHATEVER COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH."
THERE WAS ONLY ONE LINE, "DAD, THERE'S THIS JOB I WANT, AND
IT'S CALLED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES."
AND I SAID SO HE'S PUTTING THE OLD MAN ON, RIGHT.
AND ADAM WAS LIKE, "OH, NO, HE'S DEADLY SERIOUS."
SO I KIND OF KNEW WHO THIS BOY WAS.
AND I LEFT, THEY SAID THANK YOU, AND BY THE TIME I GOT TO CHICAGO
THEY SAID, "YOU HAVE THE JOB."
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
( APPLAUSE ) WELL, WHEN WE COME BACK, THE
CAST OF "SUCCESSION" ANSWER SOME OF YOUR QUESTIONS.
FOLKS, WE'RE BACK ERE WITH THE CAST OF HBO'S "SUCCESSION."
"SUCCESSION" IS ABOUT A FAMILY, BUT IT'S NOT PARTICULARLY FAMILY
FRIENDLY.
NOT PARTICULARLY FAMILY FRIENDLY.
DOES ANYBODY LET THEIR KIDS WATCH IT?
( LAUGHS ) >> I DO.
>> Stephen: HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS?
>> 50.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YOU THINK THEY'RE READY?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU THINK THEY'RE READY?
50 AND 43.
>> Stephen: TO SEE DAD THAT WAY.
>> MY TWO WEEKEND AND SEVEN-YEAR-OLD, YEAH, SHAKE
WATCH IT.
>> Stephen: WHEN WILL THAT BE CUT OFF, WHEN THEY HAVE OBJECT
PERMANENCE.
>> WHEN THEY GET TO THE SCENE WHERE ROMAN MASTURE BASE ON A
WINDOW.
>> THAT'S PRETTY EARLY.
>> Stephen: SPOILER.
ANYBODY-- ANYBODY HAVE ANY PROBLEM--
>> I DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS YET.
.>> Stephen: OH, WOW.
>> STILL WORKING ON IT.
>> BUT IF YOU DID?
>> I WOULD LET THEM WATCH.
LET THE BOYS WATCH.
>> THEY DON'T HAVE ANY INTEREST.
>> Stephen: IN ANY OF YOUR WORK?
>> IN ANY OF MY WORK.
>> IN YOU?
>> MY DAUGHTER SAW THE "SIZZLE" TRAILER THAT CAME OUT IN JUNE,
AND SHE SAID, "YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN IT.
YOU HAVE, LIKE, A REALLY SMALL PART.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE 'VAMPIRE DIARIES '."
>> Stephen: PRETTY GOOD.
HAVE YOU SEEN "VAMPIRE DIARIES?" >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE SITTING BETWEEN TWO OF YOUR FREQUENT
COSTARS HERE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHO IS TOM'S REAL PARTNER?
IS IT SHIV OR IS IT GREG?
>> THAT'S A REALLY CRUEL QUESTION.
THAT'S LIKE-- YEAH, THAT'S LIKE CHOOSING BETWEEN YOUR CHILDREN.
THERE'S SOMETHING DEEPER WITH-- >> "SOPHIE'S CHOICE."
>> SOMETHING DEEPER GOING ON.
>> IT'S LIKE "SOPHIE'S CHOICE."
>> HE HAS LONGER REACH.
HIS ARMS COULD HUG YOU MORE.
>> I'M MORE SCARED OF YOU.
>> YEAH, THE FOUNDATION FOR A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
>> I COULDN'T CHOOSE.
>> Stephen: YOU COULDN'T CHOOSE.
>> I DON'T THINK I COULD.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
IT'S GREG.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: NOW, GREG HAS BECOME SOMETHING OF AN ICON OF
AWKWARD YOUNG MANHOOD, LIKE TRYING TO FIND HIS PLACE.
NOT YOU, GREG.
>> GREG, IS DIFFERENT FROM ME.
>> Stephen: TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM YOU.
WHEN I SEE YOU, I DON'T SEE GREG AT ALL.
WE LOVE SEEING HIS AWKWARDNESS, AND HOW HE DOESN'T FIT INTO THE
SITUATIONS.
AND, YET, JUST BECOMES LIKE WALLPAPER.
WHAT?
WHY ARE YOU-- YOU-- EXACTLY.
HE SORT OF BECOMES WALLPAPER IN A SCENE AND SUDDENLY IS INTEGRAL
SOMEHOW TO THE ACTION OF A SCENE.
HOW DOES ONE PREP FOR THAT?
>> WELL, I THINK HIS LURKINESS IS A BIG PARENT OF HIS
CHARACTER.
SO, SO I GUESS I WASN'T A REAL LURKER BEFORE THIS PART.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T GO
WHERE YOU WEREN'T WANTED.
>> Stephen: YEAH, I'M ONE TO LEAVE A CONVERSATION QUICKLY AND
GREG ISN'T.
AND SO I PREPARED BY-- ON MY WAY TO THE TEST WITH ADAM IN KAY,
AND JESSE, OUR WRITER, AND I SAID I NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO
DO THIS.
SO I WENT INTO VARIOUS SHOPS, AND I JUST STOOD NEXT TO PEOPLE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THEN I WOULD HAVE A REALLY
MUNDANE CONVERSATION ABOUT THE HEADPHONES THEY'RE LOOKING AT,
OR, YOU KNOW, THE JEWELRY THEY'RE LOOKING AT IN THE LITTLE
GIFT SHOP.
>> Stephen: AND HOW DID PEOPLE RECEIVE THAT?
>> YOU KNOW, PEOPLE HANG IN CONVERSATIONS A LOT LONGER THAN
YOU THINK.
( LAUGHTER ) LIKE-- I WAS LIKE, "STILL,
YOU'RE STILL DOWN FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT YOUR RING ON YOUR HAND OR
WHAT YOU'RE WEARING?" LIKE, PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANT TO
LEAVE A CONVERSATION.
SO I JUST KEPT GOING AND GOING.
AND THEN I I THINK I WON A LOT OF THE TIME.
>> Stephen: THEY WOULD BREAK DOWN BEFORE YOU WOULD.
>> YEAH, YEAH, I BEAT THEM.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: THAT IS IMPORTANT.
THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I'VE LEARNED FROM EVERY HUMAN
INTERINTERACTION FROM THIS SHOW, IS THAT YOU MUST WIN EVERY
RELATIONSHIP.
YOU CAN'T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS THAT WERE SENT IN.
WE INVITED THE PEOPLE OUT ON THE SOCIALS TO SEND US SOME
QUESTIONS.
HERE ARE SOME SELECTIONS HERE.
THIS GOES TO YOU, FIRST, BRIAN, BUT THIS IS ALSO AFTER THAT,
APRES THAT, IS A JUMP BALL, "WHICH CHILD DOES LOGAN LOVE THE
MOST?" >> OH!
>> THAT'S A VERY HARD QUESTION TO ANSWER.
>> SARAH.
>> I THINK...
SERIOUSLY?
>> YOU'RE GOING TO ACTUALLY ANSWER THIS.
>> Stephen: SURE, SERIOUSLY.
>> HE CAN ANSWER THIS?
>> Stephen: LET'S DIG IN.
>> I DON'T I THINK I CAN IN FRONT OF ALL THESE-- IN FRONT OF
MY CHILDREN.
I CAN'T DO THAT.
>> Stephen: IS THERE ONE CHILD YOU COULD ANSWER IN FRONT OF.
>> I WOULD SAY THE INVISIBLE CHILD HERE, JEREMY.
>> WHAT ABOUT THE SON-IN-LAW?
>> HE DIDN'T ASK ABOUT THAT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK KENDALL, MAYBE?
>> NO!
( LAUGHTER ) I'M JUST ACKNOWLEDGING JEREMY.
NO, IF HE DOES LOVE SOMEBODY-- >> OH, MY GOD, HERE IT COMES.
>> IT HAS TO BE SHIV.
>> Stephen: YEAH, I WOULD BUY THAT.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: DOES EVERYONE ELSE
ACCEPT THAT JUDGMENT?
>> I'M ACTUALLY GENUINELY SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT AS WELL,
BUT I'LL TAKE IT.
>> Stephen: ANOTHER QUESTION, LET'S START WITH YOU, JAY.
IF YOU HAD TO PLAY A DIFFERENT CHARACTER ON THE SHOW-- THIS IS
A QUESTION FROM THE AUDIENCE-- WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
IF YOU COULD CHOOSE ANY OTHER CHARACTER TO PLAY ON ON THE
SHOW, WHO WOULD IT BE.
>> GREG.
I WOULD LIKE TO BE GREG.
>> WHY?
>> TRY A LITTLE NOW.
>> NO!
>> Stephen: I WOULDN'T WANT TO PLAY ANY OF YOU, BUT IS THERE
SOMEONE ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO PLAY, SARAH?
>> I WOULD PROBABLY PLAY ROMAN, IF ONLY I COULD BE AS GOOD AS
KIERAN PLAYING ROMAN.
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THAT'S VERY FUN.
>> ( BLEEP ).
>> YEAH.
>> IT'S A COMPLIMENT.
>> ( BLEEP ).
>> YEAH, IT'S NATIONAL, TAKE IT.
BUT YOU HAVE AN ABILITY TO BE UNFILTERED IN A WAY-- IT'S HARD
FOR HIM TO TAKE A COMPLIMENT.
>> LEAVE ME ALONE!
>> WHICH WOULD BE A FUN THING TO DO, I THINK.
>> STILL IN CHARACTER.
NEVER LEAVES-- NEVER LEAVES CHARACTER.
>> BEFORE WE STARTED, HE NEVER IMPROVISED ONCE.
HE COULDN'T IMPROVISE AT ALL.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> AND NOW HE IS EXTRAORDINARY.
>> HE'S THE KING.
>> YOU ARE!
YOU SHUT THE ( BLEEP ) UP!
>> SHUT UP!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
>> STEPHEN: WHEN WE COME BACK, WE HAVE A SNEAK PEEK OF
"SUCCESSION" SEASON THREE.
STICK AROUND.
I'M HERE WITH THE CAST OF HBO'S "SUCCESSION."
EVERYBODY, OF COURSE, WANTS TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN
SEASON THREE, AND, OBVIOUSLY, YOU CAN'T TELL ME ANYTHING, NO
SPOILERS.
>> ROMAN DIES.
>> Stephen: OKAY, BUT COULD YOU DO THIS FOR ME?
COULD EACH OF YOU-- AND I'LL START OVER HERE WITH YOU, ALAN--
COULD EACH OF YOU DESCRIBE SEASON THREE IN ONE WORD?
>> ARMAGEDDON.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NICK?
>> I'M NOT GOOD AT THESE KINDS OF GAMES.
>> COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
>> COME ON, NICK.
( BLEEP ).
>> Stephen: ONE WORD.
>> UHM...
( LAUGHTER ) HOLD ON.
I'M SOURCING IT FROM A SPHIRT ABOVE.
BILL-- BILLIONS?
>> Stephen: REALLY ( BLEEP ) BILLIONS, ON SHO TIME, WITH PAUL
GIAMATTI.
GREAT SHOW.
VERY SIMILAR.
WE'RE MOVING ON.
MATTHEW.
HE CAME IN CHARACTER.
MATTHEW.
>> TOILET WINE.
>> Stephen: HYPHENATED, YES.
SARAH?
>> OH, THAT'S GOOD.
DANCING.
>> Stephen: DANCING.
BRIAN?
>> JOLLY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I WAS AFRAID YOU
WERE GOG SAY ( BLEEP ).
>> NO, NO, NO.
>> Stephen: KIERAN.
>> I HAVE BEEN TO BE... ABOUT ( BLEEP ).
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND.
THERE'S A TIME AND PLACE AS ACLOSE AFT EASE SAID.
>> JUST TO GET A LONG BLEEP.
( BLEEP ).
>> Stephen: J.?
>> MINE IS VERY ESOTERIC, BUT CAT.
>> OH!
>> WHAT?
>> CAT.
>> OH, YEAH, CAT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, AND NOW AN EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEEK FROM SEASON
THREE.
>> HI.
.LISTEN, I'M DROWNING IN CALLS, AND I WANT TO DENY, YOU KNOW,
SPECULATION.
SO I'M JUST CHECKING THAT, OBVIOUSLY, WE'RE ALL GOOD IF I
SAY FOR A STARTER THAT HE NEVER HURT ANYONE, AND HE NEVER
TOUCHED ANYONE PERSONALLY.
>> YOU CAN REASSURE ON THAT.
>> GOOD.
>> DID YOU KNOW... CONNOR, ROMAN, SHIV, DID YOU KNOW?
>> WHAT'S THAT?
>> DID YOU KNOW HE WAS GOING TO DO THAT?
I WAS WONDERING.
>> WELL, OBVIOUSLY NOT, DAD.
>> UH-HUH.
>> KENDALL'S MENTALLY ILL.
HE'S INSANE.
>> WHERE'S MY PHONE?
>> I DON'T KNOW, POP.
WE'LL CALL YOU.
>> UH, YEAH, YOU GOT IT ON SILENT?
( APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: SEASON 3
OF "SUCCESSION" PREMIERES OCTOBER 17 ON HBO.
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR COMING.
THIS HAS BEEN A REAL PLEASURE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I'VE ALREADY SEEN THE FIRST COUPLE OF SHOWS.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
THE CAST OF "SUCCESSION," EVERYBODY.
THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
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