1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:05,472 >> RAPPER NICKI MINAJ SAYS THAT HER COUSIN'S FRIEND-- AND SHE 2 00:00:05,538 --> 00:00:06,740 PUT THIS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 3 00:00:06,806 --> 00:00:08,675 SHE HAS 22 MILLION FOLLOWERS. 4 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:12,579 SHE SAID HE HAS SWOLLEN TESTICLES AFTER TAKING THE 5 00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:13,813 VACCINE. 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:14,714 SHE CITED THAT ACTUALLY AS ONE OF THE REASONS THAT SHE HAS YET 7 00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,683 TO BE VACCINATED. 8 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,685 >> AND SHE GOES ON TO SAY, "HIS FRIEND WAS WEEKS AWAY FROM 9 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:19,519 GETTING MARRIED. 10 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:20,687 NOW THE GIRL CALLED OFF THE WEDDING." 11 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:24,691 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE 12 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:24,684 SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 13 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:32,659 TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: 14 00:01:32,725 --> 00:01:37,230 JUSTICE STPHEN BREYER FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY 15 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:40,700 HUMAN. 16 00:01:44,737 --> 00:01:48,675 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 17 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,743 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 18 00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:58,017 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 19 00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:06,192 >> Stephen: HEY! 20 00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:06,826 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 21 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:11,164 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: OH! 22 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:12,732 GOT TO GATHER UP THE ENERGY. 23 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:16,669 GOOD TO SEE YOU. 24 00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:19,639 HELLO, LOUIS. 25 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:24,677 WELCOME, WELCOME, BENGHAZI, EVERYBODY, IN HERE OUT THERE, TO 26 00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,713 "THE LATE SHOW." 27 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:28,681 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 28 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:32,652 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HEY, REMEMBER HOW ANXIOUS YOU 29 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:36,856 WERE IN THE FINAL DAYS OF THE PREVIOUS PRESIDENCY? 30 00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,124 WELL, TURNS OUT, NOW THAT WE'RE THROUGH IT, I THINK WE CAN SAY, 31 00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,827 IN HINDSIGHT, THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE MORE 32 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:44,130 TERRIFIED, BECAUSE WE'RE GETTING NEW DETAILS ABOUT THE LAST DAYS 33 00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:48,067 OF THE LAST ADMINISTRATION OF "THE LARDFATHER," IN THE NEW 34 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:53,072 TELL-ALL FROM BOB WOODWARD AND ROBERT COSTA, "PERIL." 35 00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:59,112 TURNS OUT, TWO DAYS AFTER THE JANUARY 6th INSURRECTION, JOINT 36 00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:02,081 CHIEFS CHAIRMAN, MARK MILLEY FEARED THE FORMER PRESIDENT 37 00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:06,152 WOULD LAUNCH A NUCLEAR WAR. 38 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:12,926 THAT'S A BOMBSHELL REVELATION A BOMBSHELL ABOUT A BOMBSHELL 39 00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:14,193 THAT WOULD BRING ABOUT THE REVELATION. 40 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:19,432 BUT GOING NUCLEAR MAKES SENSE FOR THE FORMER PRESIDENT. 41 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:23,169 AFTER ALL, HE IS A FAT MAN WHO ACTS LIKE A LITTLE BOY. 42 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,071 APPARENTLY-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 43 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:25,905 APPARENTLY-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 44 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:28,074 TRUE STORY. 45 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,109 TRUE STORY. 46 00:03:30,176 --> 00:03:33,279 APPARENTLY, GENERAL MILLEY BELIEVED THE THEN-PRESIDENT HAD 47 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,480 GONE INTO A SERIOUS MENTAL DECLINE IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE 48 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:35,548 ELECTION. 49 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:38,084 THAT IS PRETTY FRIGHTENING, BUT NOT SURPRISING. 50 00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:42,088 WE ALL KNOW THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAS PROBLEMS WITH DECLINES. 51 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,157 ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 52 00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:47,260 SO, GENERAL MILLEY-- A LITTLE NERVOUS? 53 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,962 >> Jon: YEAH, YEAH. 54 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:53,066 >> Stephen: GENERAL MILLEY SINGLEHANDEDLY TOOK TOP-SECRET 55 00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:55,401 ACTION TO LIMIT THE FORMER PRESIDENT FROM POTENTIALLY 56 00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:56,603 ORDERING A DANGEROUS MILITARY STRIKE OR LAUNCHING NUCLEAR 57 00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:59,372 WEAPONS. 58 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:02,475 WHAT HE DID WAS, HE CHANGED THE NUCLEAR CODES 59 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:05,878 INTO SOMETHING THE PRESIDENT WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO FIGURE 60 00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:06,679 OUT: HIS CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAYS. 61 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:16,623 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 62 00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:18,091 IT WASN'T JUST OUR GENERALS WHO WERE CONVINCED THE PRESIDENT WAS 63 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:20,126 GOING TO START A WAR. 64 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,095 THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT BELIEVED THE UNITED STATES WAS PREPARING 65 00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:33,906 TO ATTACK, BASED ON TENSIONS OVER MILITARY EXERCISES IN THE 66 00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:37,043 SOUTH CHINA SEA, AND DEEPENED BY THE PRESIDENT'S BELLIGERENT 67 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:37,744 RHETORIC TOWARD CHINA. 68 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,779 THAT'S HOW SERIOUS IT WAS. 69 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:44,584 CHINA WAS AFRAID THE FORMER PRESIDENT WAS GOING TO BOMB HIS 70 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:45,385 DAUGHTER'S PURSE FACTORIES. 71 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,419 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 72 00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:50,289 IT WAS-- IT WAS SO-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 73 00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:51,791 LOVELY-- OH, QUALITY. 74 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,726 IT'S THE QUALITY. 75 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:57,630 IT WAS SO PLAUSIBLE, THAT GENERAL MILLEY FELT COMPELLED TO 76 00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,232 CALL THE CHINESE AND SAY, "I WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT THE 77 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,167 AMERICAN GOVERNMENT IS STABLE, AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE 78 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,202 OKAY. 79 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,171 WE ARE NOT GOING TO ATTACK." 80 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,674 THAT'S NOT REASSURING! 81 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,342 ( LAUGHTER ) IT'S LIKE A BABYSITTER CALLING 82 00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:14,480 WHILE YOU'RE AT DINNER TO SAY, "I WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT THE 83 00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:16,149 TWINS ARE STABLE AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. 84 00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:19,385 THEY ARE NOT GOING TO SET THE GARAGE ON FIRE OR DO ANYTHING 85 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:21,087 ELSE WITH THE MATCHES I LET THEM PLAY WITH. 86 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:25,158 HOW ATTACHED WERE YOU TO THE DOG?" 87 00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:27,293 ( LAUGHTER ) THE BOOK ALSO TALKS ABOUT HOW 88 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,263 MUCHPRESSURE WAS PUT ON MIKE PENCE BY OL' BONE SPURS N' 89 00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:34,801 HARMONY. 90 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:35,935 ON JANUARY 5th, PENCE TOLD THE THEN-PRESIDENT THAT VICE 91 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,237 PRESIDENTS DON'T HAVE THE POWER TO OVERTURN AN ELECTION. 92 00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:44,210 AS MAGAHEADS WERE CHEERING OUTSIDE, THE PRESIDENT TURNED TO 93 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,713 PENCE AND SAID, "IF THESE PEOPLE SAY YOU HAD THE POWER, WOULDN'T 94 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:50,383 YOU WANT TO?" PENCE REPLIED,"I WOULDN'T WANT 95 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:54,253 ANY ONE PERSON TO HAVE THAT AUTHORITY," TO WHICH THE FORMER 96 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,322 PRESIDENT SAID, "BUT WOULDN'T IT BE ALMOST COOL TO HAVE THAT 97 00:05:56,389 --> 00:06:00,326 POWER?" ( LAUGHTER ) 98 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:04,297 ALWAYS NICE TO HEAR WORDS LIKE "COOL" ATTACHED TO FLAGRANT 99 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:07,967 ABUSES OF POWER, LIKE WHEN NIXON SAID, "HEY, HENRY, WOULDN'T IT 100 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:12,371 BE GROOVY IF WE SECRETLY BOMBED CAMBODIA? 101 00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:20,313 COWABUNGA, DUDE!" THE V.P. WOULD NOT BUDGE, WHICH 102 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,714 INFURIATED THE SAD-ITIONIST, WHO SCREAMED, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, 103 00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,182 MIKE. 104 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:24,383 YOU CAN DO THIS. 105 00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:28,921 I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE IF YOU DON'T DO THIS." 106 00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:35,962 I GOTTA SAY, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN TOUGH TO HEAR, BUT THE NEXT 107 00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:37,196 DAY, AT THE CAPITOL RIOT, MIKE PENCE FOUND SOME NEW FRIENDS TO 108 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,599 HANG WITH. 109 00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:41,768 BOB WOODWARD-- ( APPLAUSE ) 110 00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:43,836 SO SAD. 111 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:47,240 SO SAD. 112 00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:50,409 BOB WOODWARD AND ROBERT COSTA WILL BE MY GUESTS ONE WEEK FROM 113 00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,277 TONIGHT. 114 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,311 SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE. 115 00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:54,614 AND I-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 116 00:06:54,680 --> 00:07:00,019 IT WILL BE A GREAT SHOW, GREAT SHOW. 117 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,220 I WILL ASK THEM HOW CLOSE WE WERE TO NUCLEAR ARMAGEDDON, AND 118 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:02,421 THEN ASK THEM TO ROCK ME GENTLY IN THEIR ARMS WHILE I OPENLY 119 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:07,660 WEEP. 120 00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:11,264 HEY, IN MORE HOPEFUL NEWS, AFTER AN 18-MONTH SHUTDOWN, TODAY THE 121 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:12,365 BIGGEST BROADWAY SHOWS REOPENED! 122 00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:19,205 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'M TALKIN' "HAMILTON," 123 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,306 "WICKED," "THE LION KING." 124 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:24,544 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BROADWAY! 125 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:31,050 ♪ ♪ ♪ "THE LATE SHOW" IS CELEBRATING 126 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,251 BROADWAY'S RETURN. 127 00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:37,056 CHECK OUT THE DOME! 128 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,293 THERE IT IS, TIMES SQUARE, ALL THE SPLENDOR OF BROADWAY! 129 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:44,297 ( APPLAUSE ) THAT WILL BE $280. 130 00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:46,799 PRODUCTIONS ARE STILL TAKING PRECAUTIONS. 131 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,568 JUST LIKE OUR THEATER, MASKS ARE NOW REQUIRED FOR BROADWAY 132 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:53,506 AUDIENCES. 133 00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:56,309 THAT MEANS FULL COVERAGE OF MOUTH AND NOSE. 134 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:57,276 LOOKIN' AT YOU, PHANTOM. 135 00:07:57,343 --> 00:08:00,446 ( LAUGHTER ) JIMMY, CAN WE HELP HIM OUT? 136 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,448 THANK YOU. 137 00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:04,383 REOPENING IS GOING MORE SMOOTHLY THAN EXPECTED. 138 00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:07,019 PRODUCERS SAY, "THERE WERE ACTUALLY FEWER RODENTS THAN 139 00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,155 FEARED IN THE THEATER BUILDINGS." 140 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:12,358 NOW, THAT'S WHAT YOU PUT UP ON THE MARQUEE. 141 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,894 COME SEE "WAITRESS: WITH FEWER RODENTS THAN FEARED!" 142 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,629 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 143 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,599 WE DON'T HAVE ANY, RIGHT? 144 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,233 NO RODENT. 145 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,401 NO RODE ENTS HERE. 146 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:30,977 >> Jon: MICHELANGELO, LEONARDO, DONATELLO, NOTHING. 147 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:34,780 >> Stephen: IN OTHER DAZZLING NEWS, LAST NIGHT WAS THE ANNUAL 148 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:35,681 MET GALA. 149 00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,350 THIS YEAR'S THEME WAS AN HOMAGE TO AMERICA. 150 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:38,918 SOME FOLKS TOOK THAT LITERALLY, LIKE SOCCER PLAYER MEGAN RAPINOE 151 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,853 AND ROCKER DEBBIE HARRY, WHILE OTHERS MADE STATEMENTS, LIKE 152 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,189 A.O.C.'S DRESS THAT READ "TAX THE RICH." 153 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:47,526 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES, BY ALL MEANS. 154 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:48,060 ABSOLUTELY. 155 00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:51,430 STRONG STATEMENT. 156 00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:52,665 AND A LOVELY TRIBUTE TO BERNIE'S "RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE" TANK 157 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:54,600 TOP. 158 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,836 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 159 00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:57,203 GOOD. 160 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,871 LOOKS GOOD. 161 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:02,441 A LITTLE MIDRIFF, A LITTLE DARING. 162 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:05,811 RAPPER LIL NAS X HAD MULTIPLE LOOKS, INCLUDING THIS CAPE, 163 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,347 WHICH HE SHED TO REVEAL A GOLDEN SUIT OF ARMOR. 164 00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:11,784 UNFORTUNATELY, HE HAD TO LEAVE EARLY TO HELP R2D2 GET HAN, 165 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:15,655 LUKE, AND LEIA OUT OF A TRASH COMPACTOR. 166 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:20,293 ( APPLAUSE ) OF COURSE-- 167 00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:27,199 ♪ ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE QUESTION ON 168 00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:28,334 EVERYONE'S MIND. 169 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,203 THEY'RE SAYING, "STEPHEN, DID YOU ATTEND THE MET GALA?" 170 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:36,575 AND THE ANSWER IS, "YES, I DID!" AND THERE I AM. 171 00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:37,109 THAT'S ME. 172 00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:41,013 THERE I AM. 173 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,050 YOU CAN'T PROVE IT ISN'T ME. 174 00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,218 ONE MET GALA INVITEE WHO DIDN'T SHOW UP WAS RAPPER NICKI MINAJ, 175 00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:50,423 SEEN HERE AFTER BEING UPHOLSTERED. 176 00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:52,591 MINAJ TWEETED THAT THE REASON SHE DIDN'T GO TO THE MET GALA 177 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:55,761 WAS BECAUSE OF HER YOUNG CHILD, BUT SHE ALSO TWEETED, "THEY WANT 178 00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:58,364 YOU TO GET VACCINATED FOR THE MET. 179 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,032 IF I GET VACCINATED, IT WON'T BE FOR THE MET. 180 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,435 IT'LL BE ONCE I FEEL I'VE DONE ENOUGH RESEARCH. 181 00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:06,172 I'M WORKING ON THAT NOW." 182 00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:11,777 ( BOOING ) NO, I AM NOT SURPRISED. 183 00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,012 SHE'S KNOWN FOR HER EXTENSIVE RESEARCH ON WHAT ANACONDAS WANT, 184 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:16,148 IF AND WHEN YOU'VE GOT BUNS, HUN. 185 00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:17,984 ( APPLAUSE ) DEEP DIVE. 186 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,618 DEEP DIVE ON THAT SUBJECT? 187 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:26,425 A. DEEP DIVE ON THAT ONE, BUT IL >> Stephen: HER NEXT TWEET 188 00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,294 SHOWED HOW DEEPLY SHE'S DELVED INTO THE VACCINE SCIENCE, 189 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,997 SAYING, "MY COUSIN IN TRINIDAD WON'T GET THE VACCINE 190 00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:32,298 CUZ HIS FRIEND GOT IT AND BECAME IMPOTENT. 191 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,133 HIS TESTICLES BECAME SWOLLEN." 192 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,969 SEE, THAT'S WHY I MADE SURE TO GET MY SHOT IN THE SHOULDER. 193 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,137 ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 194 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,439 I CAN'T-- SO IMPORTANT. 195 00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:47,246 ♪ ♪ ♪ SO IMPORTANT. 196 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:47,980 YOU ALL RIGHT. 197 00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,916 .>> Jon: YEAH, I'M GOOD ON THAT. 198 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,318 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT. 199 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:57,590 I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS, BUT DOCTORS AGREE THAT 200 00:10:57,656 --> 00:11:00,126 COVID VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE SWOLLEN TESTICLES. 201 00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:02,428 BUT TO BE FAIR TO DR. MINAJ, EVERYONE KNOWS THERE'S NO SOURCE 202 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,730 MORE RELIABLE THAN YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY'S ACQUAINTANCES IN 203 00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:08,100 ANOTHER COUNTRY. 204 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,301 HER REPORT COMES STRAIGHT FROM "THE NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MY 205 00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:12,371 COUSIN'S FRIEND IN TRINIDAD. 206 00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:18,878 ( APPLAUSE ) JUST-- 207 00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:19,979 CHECK OUT THIS WEEK'S STUDY: I HEARD HIS GIRLFRIEND GOT 208 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:24,316 PREGNANT FROM A HOT TUB. 209 00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:26,419 ( LAUGHTER ) OH, TODAY IN CALIFORNIA, VOTERS 210 00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,554 HEADED TO THE POLLS FOR THE RECALL ELECTION OF CALIFORNIA 211 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:32,925 GOVERNOR AND MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY PLAYING MITT ROMNEY 212 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:36,295 IN A BIOPIC, GAVIN NEWSOM. 213 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:43,102 NOW, AT THE TIME OF THIS TAPING, WE DON'T KNOW THE WINNERS OR THE 214 00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:45,237 LOSERS, BUT WE KNOW AT LEAST ONE LOSER WHO CLAIMS HE WAS THE 215 00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:48,474 WINNER-- REPUBLICAN FRONT-RUNNER AND MAN NOTICING A SQUIRREL 216 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,911 CARRYING A WHOLE WAFFLE, LARRY ELDER. 217 00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:55,648 YESTERDAY, BEFORE A SINGLE VOTE WAS COUNTED, ELDER WAS ALREADY 218 00:11:55,714 --> 00:12:00,286 CONCEDING DEFEAT AND PREPARING TO BLAME HIS LOSS ON BASELESS 219 00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:04,290 CLAIMS OF WIDESPREAD VOTER FRAUD, GOING LIVE-- 220 00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:09,962 ( BOOING ) GOING LIVE WITH A WEBSITE 221 00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,464 BEGGING VOTERS TO "INVESTIGATE AND AMELIORATE THE TWISTED 222 00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:12,665 RESULTS OF THIS 2021 RECALL ELECTION OF GOVERNOR GAVIN 223 00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:16,302 NEWSOM." 224 00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,170 AND HE PUT THAT UP BEFORE A SINGLE RESULT COULD HAVE BEEN 225 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,371 TWISTED. 226 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:20,906 IT'S LIKE SENDING AN EMAIL TO YOUR BOSS AT 5:00 P.M. SAYING, 227 00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:23,943 "HEY, TOMORROW MORNING, MY ALARM ISN'T GOING TO GO OFF. 228 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,445 I'LL BE VERY LATE, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE COOL WITH IT. 229 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:27,413 SEE YOU AT HAPPY HOUR!" ( LAUGHTER ) 230 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,217 ( APPLAUSE ) ELDER'S WEB SITE-- 231 00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,451 >> Jon: YEAH, BABY. 232 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:36,288 >> Stephen: IT'S A JOURNEY. 233 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:43,496 ELDER'S WEBSITE SAYS HE'S GOT PRE-PROOF OF THE FUTURE FRAUD, 234 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:45,931 THANKS TO STATISTICAL ANALYSES USED TO DETECT FRAUD IN 235 00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,300 ELECTIONS HELD IN THIRD-WORLD NATIONS, SUCH AS RUSSIA, 236 00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:52,304 VENEZUELA, AND IRAN, ADDING: "MY COUSIN IN TRINIDAD TOLD ME 237 00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:55,574 HIS FRIEND'S BALLS VOTED TWICE." 238 00:12:55,641 --> 00:13:02,448 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 239 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,749 TONIGHT. 240 00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:04,817 MY GUEST IS SUPREME COURT JUSTICE STEPHEN BREYER. 241 00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,886 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!" 242 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:07,553 STICK AROUND. 243 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,526 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 244 00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:51,130 THAT IS JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 245 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:54,767 THERE YOU GO. 246 00:13:54,833 --> 00:14:03,375 ( APPLAUSE ) JON, JON, OUR GUEST TONIGHT-- 247 00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:06,045 IT'S A REAL HONOR. 248 00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,313 YOU KNOW WE-- LISTEN, I'M HAPPY ANYONE WOULD WANT TO COME TALK 249 00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:11,884 TO THIS GOOFY GUY ON THIS SHOW, BUT SOMETIMES WE GET GUESTS WHO 250 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:15,120 TRULY HONOR US WITH THEIR PRESENCE, AND TODAY JUSTICE 251 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:17,623 STEPHEN BREYER, SITTING SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, IS ON THE SHOW 252 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,891 TONIGHT. 253 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:22,061 HE'S GOT A NEW BOOK-- HE'S GOT A NEW BOOK, TALK ABOUT SOME STUFF. 254 00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:25,664 AND I'M GOING TO HIT HIM WITH SOME HARD QUESTIONS. 255 00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:29,335 THE HARDEST WHICH IS, OBVIOUSLY, IS A HOT DOG A SANDWICH. 256 00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:30,402 >> Jon: WOW. 257 00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:32,938 >> Stephen: AND I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE ASKED HIM THAT 258 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:33,572 BEFORE. 259 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:34,773 >> Jon: THAT'S A TOUGH ONE. 260 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,510 >> Stephen: I JUST HOPE THAT ANSWER DOESN'T BREAK DOWN ALONG 261 00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:39,578 IDEOLOGICAL LINES, YOU KNOW. 262 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:41,981 BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT THE COURT TO SEEM POLITICAL. 263 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:42,748 >> Jon: RIGHT. 264 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,350 >> Stephen: AND THIS WILL TELL US. 265 00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:45,017 >> Jon: I KNOW. 266 00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:45,818 >> Stephen: THIS WILL TELL US. 267 00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:48,420 THIS IS THE LITMUS TEST RIGHT HERE. 268 00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:51,690 JON, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS, BUT THIS AFTERNOON, 269 00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:56,595 SHORTLY BEFORE WE CAME IN HERE TO REHEARSE THE SHOW, WE FOUND 270 00:14:56,662 --> 00:15:01,500 OUT THAT COMEDY GREAT NORM MacDONALD DIED TODAY AFTER A 271 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,235 LONG BATTLE WITH CANCER. 272 00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:08,574 AND I CAN'T SAY THAT NORM AND I WERE CLOSE. 273 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:15,214 I WROTE FOR "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" FOR ONE MONTH, FOR THREE 274 00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:16,448 SHOWS, A GUEST WRITER. 275 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,585 IT'S HARD TO FIND YOUR SPOT OVER THERE IF YOU'RE JUST IN FOR A 276 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,352 SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. 277 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,788 AND NORM GOES, "COME SIT WITH US. 278 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:23,956 COME SIT WITH US." 279 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:24,390 AND I ENDED UP WRITING FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE" THE WHOLE TIME 280 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:25,457 THERE I WAS. 281 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:30,596 AND HE IS, IN MY OPINION, GREATEST HOST OF "WEEKEND 282 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,830 UPDATE" THEY HAVE HAD. 283 00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,065 NOT TO TAKE AWAY FROM ANYBODY ELSE, BUT HE WAS MY CUP OF TEA. 284 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:36,201 I LIKED THAT HE TOLD JOKES, IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY, DIDN'T 285 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,170 SEEM TO CARE IF THE AUDIENCE LIKED THEM. 286 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:41,307 BUT HE LIKED THE JOKE. 287 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:43,509 THEY WERE SOMETIMES DARK, SOMETIMES EVEN TOO DARK FOR ME. 288 00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:52,017 BUT THEY WERE DARK AND STRANGE AND HE HAD A WONDERFUL PRESENCE. 289 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:53,719 AND, AGAIN, TOOK ME IN. 290 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:54,620 >> Jon: YEAH. 291 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,855 >> Stephen: AND THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY. 292 00:15:56,922 --> 00:16:01,193 AND I WISH I WERE A GOOD ENOUGH COMEDIAN TO COME UP WITH A JOKE 293 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:04,763 RIGHT NOW ABOUT NORM MacDONALD HAVING DIED. 294 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:13,605 BUT THE ONLY COMEDIAN I KNOW WHO COULD GET AWAY WITH A "NORM 295 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:15,874 MacDONALD IS DEAD JOKE," IS NORM MacDONALD. 296 00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:20,179 AND I'M GOING TO MISS THE FACT THAT THERE'S NOBLEST ON THE 297 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:21,480 PLANET WHO CAN DO THAT. 298 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,350 AND THE COMEDY WORLD IS POORER FOR IT TODAY. 299 00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:29,722 SO I HOPE SOMEWHERE UP THERE, OR WHEREVER... 300 00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:33,225 ( LAUGHTER ) HE'D FIGURE THAT JOKE OUT. 301 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:39,631 ( LAUGHTER ) Y'KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME 302 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:43,535 RIGHT OVER THERE, PULLING TOGETHER THE FINEST, NEWSIEST 303 00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:45,104 LIMESTONE, CHISELING IN THE MOST DELICATE AND TOPICAL OF 304 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,972 BAS-RELIEFS, AND THE MOST ORNATE ARCHES, MAKING SURE THERE'S NARY 305 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:50,075 A BAD SEAT IN THE HOUSE, THEN ASSEMBLING THE MOST FEARSOME 306 00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:53,746 NEWS WARRIORS THE ARENA HAS EVER SEEN TO CONSTRUCT FOR YOU THE 307 00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:58,417 ROMAN COLOSSEUM THAT IS MY NIGHTLY MONOLOGUE. 308 00:16:58,484 --> 00:16:59,885 BUT SOMETIMES, I WAKE UP MY NEIGHBOR AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING, 309 00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,721 DRAG HIM INTO MY SHED, WHERE I'VE SET UP A KIDDIE POOL I 310 00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,758 BOUGHT 20 YEARS AGO AND FILLED WITH EXPIRED JELL-O AND LUKEWARM 311 00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:08,026 BEER, HUFF SOME ACETONE OUT OF A PRICE CHOPPER BAG, THEN 312 00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:11,563 CHALLENGE HIM TO JOIN ME IN THE OLD MAN WRESTLING LEAGUE OF 313 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:19,571 NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: "MEANWHILE!" 314 00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:22,975 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) RIGHT THERE. 315 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:27,579 IT'S GOING TO MAKE ALL THE PAIN GO AWAY. 316 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:30,115 MEANWHILE, IT'S A GREAT TIME TO BE IN THE MARKET FOR A USED CAR, 317 00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:35,554 BECAUSE "MAD MAX: FURY ROAD'S ICONIC FLEET OF POST-APOCALYPTIC 318 00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,022 WAR RIGS ARE UP FOR AUCTION." 319 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,857 AND THERE ARE SOME GREAT CHOICES FOR FAMILIES HERE. 320 00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:42,060 SOME OF THEM COME WITH EXTRA SEATING. 321 00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,095 RIGHT UP FRONT. 322 00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:46,465 ( LAUGHTER ) AND IF ONE OF YOUR KIDS IS IN 323 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:47,599 BAND, THERE'S ALSO PLENTY OF ROOM FOR BRYSON TO PRACTICE 324 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:51,570 FLAMETHROWER GUITAR. 325 00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:55,107 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, LAST WEEK, PORTLAND 326 00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:59,578 NAMED ITS NEWEST BRIDGE AFTER ICONIC "SIMPSONS" CHARACTER, NED 327 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:00,612 FLANDERS. 328 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:07,519 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THERE YOU GO. 329 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,720 IT IS THE GREATEST INFRASTRUCTURE HONOR FOR A 330 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,557 CARTOON CHARACTER SINCE ARIZONA'S WILE E. COYOTE TUNNEL. 331 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:17,763 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 332 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:29,274 MEANWHILE, THE "USA TODAY" IS ADVISING NON-JEWISH PEOPLE, 333 00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:30,843 "DON'T SAY 'HAPPY YOM KIPPUR' ON THE DAY OF ATONEMENT. 334 00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:32,344 OTHER THINGS NOT TO SAY TO JEWS ON YOM KIPPUR: "MERRY 335 00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:35,547 CHRISTMAS," AND "L'SHANA TOYOTATHON." 336 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:39,618 THE PROPER THING TO SAY IS "G'MAR CHA-TIMAH TO-VAH," OR 337 00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:40,919 "MAY YOU BE SEALED IN THE BOOK OF LIFE," BECAUSE YOM KIPPUR IS 338 00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:42,120 SOLEMN. 339 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,156 AS ONE CELEBRANT PUT IT, "THIS ISN'T A DAY OF RAUCOUSNESS AND 340 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:44,723 PARTYING." 341 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,426 THAT'S RIGHT. 342 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,328 YOM KIPPUR IS NOT FOR RAUCOUSNESS AND PARTYING. 343 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:53,165 PURIM IS THE ONE WHERE YOU BREAK OUT THE BEER YARMULKE. 344 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,567 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 345 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:59,571 MEANWHILE, SOMETIMES WE HERE AT "MEANWHILE" MEDIA SOLUTIONS AND 346 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:03,575 SECOND-HAND GOODS EMPORIUM FIND SO MANY STORIES ABOUT THE ICE 347 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,811 AGE THAT WE HAVE TO COVER IT IN OUR SPECIAL "MEANWHILE" 348 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:10,716 SUB-SEGMENT: "PLEISTOCENE-WHILE." 349 00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:11,917 ( LAUGHTER ) PLEISTOCENE-WHILE, A TEAM OF 350 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:16,955 SCIENTISTS AND ENTREPRENEURS HAVE STARTED A NEW COMPANY TO 351 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:19,558 GENETICALLY RESURRECT THE WOOLLY MAMMOTH BY EDITING ELEPHANT 352 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:24,863 D.N.A. AND ADDING GENES FOR MAMMOTH TRAITS LIKE DENSE HAIR 353 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:29,434 AND THICK FAT-- A PROCESS KNOWN TO HUMANS AS "QUARANTINING." 354 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,069 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 355 00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:39,945 BUT-- BUT THE COMPANY IS ALREADY 356 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,915 FACING ETHICAL ISSUES, WITH SOME ASKING, IS IT HUMANE TO PRODUCE 357 00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:44,883 AN ANIMAL WHOSE BIOLOGY WE KNOW SO LITTLE ABOUT? 358 00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,819 YES, SCIENCE. 359 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:51,857 THE LAST TIME WE TRIED TO MESS WITH THE NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS 360 00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:55,060 WE WENT TOO FAR AND ENDED UP WITH APPLE PIE OREOS. 361 00:19:55,127 --> 00:20:00,866 ( LAUGHTER ) THEY MAKE THE ANGELS CRY. 362 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:04,703 ( APPLAUSE ) PLEISTOCENE-WHILE, 363 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,039 SCIENTISTS HAVE LOCATED THE LIKELY ORIGIN FOR THE 364 00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:08,240 DINOSAUR-KILLING ASTEROID. 365 00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:08,874 IS IT SPACE? 366 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:12,644 BECAUSE I THINK IT'S SPACE. 367 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,280 ( LAUGHTER ) OKAY. 368 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,882 DID I WIN SCIENCE? 369 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,784 NOW, I'M GOING TO PAUSE HERE FOR A SECOND, BECAUSE THAT SOUND 370 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:20,886 YOU'RE HEARING IS A BUNCH OF DORKS POINTING OUT THAT THE 371 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,422 ASTEROID THAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS WAS IN THE CRETACEOUS, 372 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,424 MORE THAN 60 MILLION YEARS BEFORE THE PLEISTOCENE EPOCH 373 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:32,497 BEGAN AND, THEREFORE, THIS STORY HAS NO PLACE IN 374 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:35,601 PLEISTOCENE-WHILE, AND THEY ARE CORRECT. 375 00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:36,835 WHICH-- ( APPLAUSE ) 376 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,471 IN ALL FAIRNESS, THEY ARE CORRECT. 377 00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:43,275 WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY PLEISTOCENE-WHILE SUBSEGMENT, 378 00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:53,719 "SUCK MY ASS-WHILE. 379 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:56,054 SUPREME COURT JUSTICE STEVEN BRYER IS GONNA BE OUT HERE IN 380 00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:59,324 JUST A MINUTE. 381 00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:02,260 "SUCK MY ASS-WHILE. 382 00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:04,663 ACCORDING TO OUR RESEARCH THE ASTEROID CAME FROM OUR SOLAR 383 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,734 SYSTEMS OUTER ASTEROID BELT, A DISTANT REIGON BETWEEN MARS AND 384 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:09,835 JUPITER. 385 00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:11,837 WELL ITS GOOD TO HAVE THESEE ANSWERS AND I KNOW WE CAN 386 00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:17,275 FINALLY PROVIDE SOME CLOSURE TO THE DINOSAURS FAMILIES. 387 00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:24,016 MEANWHILE, 388 00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:28,687 A CHINA RESEARCHER BELIVES THEY HAVE EVIDENCE OF 9000 YEAR OLD 389 00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:33,291 BEER, AFTER FINDING THE RESIDUE OF A FERMENTED BEVERAGE MADE OF 390 00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,027 RICE GRAN AND UNIDIENTIFIED TUBERS. 391 00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:38,130 CALLING IT BEER IN THE MOST GENERAL SENSE. 392 00:21:38,196 --> 00:21:42,200 SO, BUDWEISER. 393 00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:46,705 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SUPREME COURT JUSTICE STEPHEN BRYER 394 00:22:01,453 --> 00:22:12,030 ( APPLAUSE ) >> O'Donnell: HEY, EVERYBODY. 395 00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:15,667 >> MY GUEST TONIGHT HAS SERVED ON THE SUPREME COURT FOR 27 396 00:22:15,734 --> 00:22:20,439 YEARS, PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE "LATE SHOW, JUSTICE STEPHEN 397 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:24,376 BREYER. 398 00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:34,419 ( APPLAUSE ) >> NICE HAVE TO YOU ON. 399 00:22:34,486 --> 00:22:40,659 ( APPLAUSE ) >> NICE HAVE TO YOU ON. 400 00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:44,396 >> NICE TO BE HERE. 401 00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:49,434 >> IT HAS BEEN SIX YEARS, JUST ABOUT SIX YEARS, EXACTLY, SINCE 402 00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:50,068 YOU HAVE BEEN ON THE SHOW. 403 00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:51,136 HOW ARE YOU BEEN? 404 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:52,070 >> I'VE BEEN FINE. 405 00:22:52,137 --> 00:22:55,240 >> I LOVE HAVING A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE ON. 406 00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:59,511 IT FEELS LIKE I'M DOING THE JACK PAR SHOW OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 407 00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:03,181 1961 OR SOMETHING. 408 00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:06,318 WE DON'T GET TO SEE YOU NORMALLY DOING YOUR JOB, BECAUSE THERE 409 00:23:06,384 --> 00:23:09,454 ARE NO CAMERAS INSIDE THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED 410 00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:10,088 STATES. 411 00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:11,990 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 412 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:15,460 I KNOW THAT THE RULES AGAINST IT, BUT WOULD YOU BE OPEN TO THE 413 00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:16,862 IDEA OF CAMERAS IN THE COURT? 414 00:23:16,928 --> 00:23:19,264 >> AT THE MOMENT, I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT, AND THE TRUTH 415 00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:21,666 OF THE MATTER-- >> I'M ASKING YOU TO THINK ABOUT 416 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:22,134 IT. 417 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:22,934 >> WE DON'T KNOW. 418 00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:24,302 >> I'M ASKING YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT. 419 00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:25,470 YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT. 420 00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:26,071 IT'S MY SHOW. 421 00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:27,038 >> OKAY. 422 00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:29,641 >> COURT IS IN SESSION, ALL RISE, MR. JUSTICE! 423 00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:32,277 WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW? 424 00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:35,981 >> BECAUSE IMMEDIATELY THERE WOULD HAVE TO BE MAJORITY IN 425 00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:37,249 FAVOR UPON IT. 426 00:23:37,315 --> 00:23:40,318 AND THE PROBLEM IS THIS: ON THE ONE HAND, PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT'S 427 00:23:40,385 --> 00:23:42,888 A VERY SERIOUS, VERY SERIOUS INSTITUTION. 428 00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:45,690 DIFFICULT QUESTIONS, PEOPLE ARE GRAPPLING WITH THESE QUESTIONS. 429 00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:50,929 THAT WOULD BE A MAJOR PLUS FOR THE UNITED STATES, I THINK, IF 430 00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:52,197 WE COULD BE SEEN. 431 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:56,067 ON THE OTHER HAND, WE DON'T KNOW THE EXTENT TO WHICH PEOPLE WOULD 432 00:23:56,134 --> 00:23:59,971 BECOME TOO SELF-CENTERED, THE LAWYERS OR THE JUDGES, AND BE 433 00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:02,874 TOO WORRIED ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK ON TELEVISION. 434 00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,510 >> WHAT IF I GOT YOU A STYLIST? 435 00:24:05,577 --> 00:24:08,814 WHAT IF I GOT ALL OF YOU, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE WORK, A LITTLE 436 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,983 FRESHEN UP LIKE THAT, AND A REALLY NICE ROBE OR SOMETHING 437 00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:12,450 LIKE THAT. 438 00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:13,485 IS THAT THE WORRY? 439 00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:15,821 >> THAT'S EXACTLY PART OF WHAT WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT. 440 00:24:15,887 --> 00:24:16,955 ( LAUGHTER ). 441 00:24:17,022 --> 00:24:18,890 >> ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT GUYS LIKE ME MAKING FUN OF THE 442 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:20,759 FOOTAGE THAT WE SEE ON A DAILY BASIS? 443 00:24:20,826 --> 00:24:21,827 >> WELL, YOU WOULDN'T. 444 00:24:21,893 --> 00:24:30,101 >> NO, OBVIOUSLY NOT, NO >> I WOULD NEVER MAKE A JOKE 445 00:24:30,168 --> 00:24:34,072 ABOUT-- ON A MILDLY SERIOUS TACK HERE, WHAT ABOUT IN FEDERAL 446 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,240 COURT? 447 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:38,710 BECAUSE WE HAVE THESE ATTACKS, THE ATTACK ON THE CAPITOL ON 448 00:24:38,777 --> 00:24:39,945 JANUARY 6. 449 00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:47,752 WOULDN'T IT BE GOOD TO BE ABLE TO SEE THESE SERIOUS CHARGES OF 450 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:50,388 VIOLENCE, SEDITION, REBELLION, THAT ARE BEING CHARGED AGAINST 451 00:24:50,455 --> 00:24:56,328 THESE PEOPLE IN FEDERAL COURT SO WE CAN SEE THE JUSTICE BEING 452 00:24:56,394 --> 00:24:58,630 DONE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO CREATED THIS MOST HORRIBLE DAY? 453 00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:01,132 >> THERE ARE SOME THAT HAVE THEM. 454 00:25:01,199 --> 00:25:06,972 WHAT WE REALLY DON'T KNOW-- AND IT'S UNKNOWN IN OUR COURT, 455 00:25:07,038 --> 00:25:09,875 ACTUALLY-- IS THE EXTENT TO WHICH-- WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS 456 00:25:09,941 --> 00:25:11,109 WAY. 457 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:16,114 WHEN I WRITE AN OPINION, OR MY COLLEAGUES DO, IT ISN'T FOR THE 458 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:18,917 PEOPLE INDEPENDENT COURTROOM ENTIRELY. 459 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:21,653 IT'S FOR 330 MILLION PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T THERE. 460 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,156 AND HUMAN BEINGS, AS YOU WELL KNOW, LIKE TO FOCUS ON SOMEBODY 461 00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:26,524 THEY SEE. 462 00:25:26,591 --> 00:25:36,067 AND THERE'S THE GOOD ONE, AND THERE'S THE BAD ONE. 463 00:25:36,134 --> 00:25:39,738 WE DON'T KNOW THE EXTENT THAT WOULD GET ACROSS IT ISN'T FOR 464 00:25:39,804 --> 00:25:43,275 THESE TWO PEOPLE SO MUCH AS IT IS FOR THE 330 MILLION WHO 465 00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:44,376 AREN'T THERE. 466 00:25:44,442 --> 00:25:45,510 SO THERE ARE WORRIES. 467 00:25:45,577 --> 00:25:46,578 THERE ARE WORRIES. 468 00:25:46,645 --> 00:25:52,017 >> BIG NEWS IS THE COURT'S REFUSAL TO BLOCK THE TEXAS 469 00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:54,986 ABORTION BAN LAW, EVEN BEFORE THEY RULED ON THE 470 00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:55,854 CONSTITUTIONALITY OF IT. 471 00:25:55,921 --> 00:26:00,025 NOT TO PUT SOME SORT OF HOLD ON THE LAW. 472 00:26:00,091 --> 00:26:04,396 YOU SAID ON NPR, THAT DECISION BY THE COURT WAS VERY, VERY, 473 00:26:04,462 --> 00:26:06,498 VERY WRONG. 474 00:26:06,564 --> 00:26:08,466 WHY ONLY THREE VERIES? 475 00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:18,510 ( APPLAUSE ) WHY ONLY THREE? 476 00:26:18,576 --> 00:26:23,949 ( APPLAUSE ) WHY ONLY THREE? 477 00:26:24,015 --> 00:26:24,616 WHY SUCH CONSTRAINT? 478 00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:25,951 >> YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH? 479 00:26:26,017 --> 00:26:26,418 >> YES? 480 00:26:26,484 --> 00:26:27,819 >> YOU MISSED ONE. 481 00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:29,688 >> YOU DID FOUR VARIES? 482 00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:31,756 OKAY, I'LL TALK TO OUR RESEARCH DEPARTMENT. 483 00:26:31,823 --> 00:26:40,398 >> ONE WAS SORT OF QUIET PUTTING ASIDE OF THE TACIT 484 00:26:40,465 --> 00:26:46,237 ENDORMS OF OVERTURNING "ROE" HAVE YOU SEEN CITIZENS BEING 485 00:26:46,304 --> 00:26:49,541 DEPUTIZED AS THE PEOPLE TO ENFORCE IT, WHICH IS HAPPENING 486 00:26:49,607 --> 00:26:50,442 IN TEXAS. 487 00:26:50,508 --> 00:26:53,511 >> TEXAS YOU KNOW USED TO HAVE POSSES. 488 00:26:53,578 --> 00:26:57,115 AND IF YOU HAVE SEEN WESTERN MOVIES, AS YOU HAVE, YOU WILL 489 00:26:57,182 --> 00:27:00,251 KNOW ANY 10 PEOPLE CAN GET TOGETHER, AND THEY CAN IN 490 00:27:00,318 --> 00:27:03,388 CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES BE A POSSE THAT GOES OUT AND CAPTURES THE 491 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:04,222 OUTLAWS. 492 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,925 WELL, YOU SCHEDULED ME FOR AN EXAMPLE. 493 00:27:06,992 --> 00:27:08,860 >> IS THAT THE SAME EXAMPLE, MR. JUSTICE. 494 00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:11,529 BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE BEING DEPUTIZED TO BE PART OF THE 495 00:27:11,596 --> 00:27:13,865 GOVERNMENT, ESSENTIALLY, TO BE GOVERNMENT AGENTS. 496 00:27:13,932 --> 00:27:17,702 WHEREAS THESE PEOPLE ARE STAYING CITIZENS, WHICH IS NOW THE TEXAS 497 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:22,173 LAWMAKERS ARE TRYING TO DO AN END RUN AROUND JUDICIAL REVIEW. 498 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,442 ISN'T THAT A DIFFERENT SITUATION? 499 00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:25,243 >> YES. 500 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:30,615 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING ) 501 00:27:30,682 --> 00:27:36,154 >> EXCUSE ME. 502 00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:36,554 CHECKMATE! 503 00:27:36,621 --> 00:27:37,655 SO I'M SORRY. 504 00:27:37,722 --> 00:27:40,091 I INTERRUPTED YOU CONGRATULATING ME FOR BEING RIGHT. 505 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:40,658 GO AHEAD. 506 00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:41,726 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 507 00:27:41,793 --> 00:27:43,361 ( LAUGHTER ) SO THERE IS NO OTHER EXAMPLE YOU 508 00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:47,098 CAN THINK OF, OTHER THAN THE POSSE, WHICH ISN'T THE ACTUAL 509 00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:47,966 EXAMPLE? 510 00:27:48,033 --> 00:27:49,934 >> WELL-- >> BUT THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST 511 00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:54,339 SHOCKING THINGS ABOUT IT TO ME, BECAUSE IT IS SO FLAGRANTLY AN 512 00:27:54,406 --> 00:27:57,242 ATTEMPT TO DO AN END RUN AROUND JUDICIAL REVIEW. 513 00:27:57,308 --> 00:28:01,813 >> THE TRUTH IS IN THAT MATTER, WHAT THEY HAD BEFORE US, IT WAS 514 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:02,747 A PROCEDURAL QUESTION. 515 00:28:02,814 --> 00:28:05,050 WE DIDN'T GET TO THE MERITS OF THE LAW. 516 00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:09,354 AND ONE OF MY OBJECTIONS, WHICH WAS PRETTY STRONG-- IT COUNTS 517 00:28:09,421 --> 00:28:14,092 FOR ONE OF THE "VERRIES--" IS WHEN WE HAVE AN IMPORTANT CASE 518 00:28:14,159 --> 00:28:17,162 LIKE, THAT EVEN IF IT IS PROCEDURAL, WE SHOULD HAVE A 519 00:28:17,228 --> 00:28:20,365 FULL PROCEEDING AND NOT DECIDE IT JUST ON THE BASIS OF AN 520 00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:22,534 EMERGENCY MOTION, WHICH THAT WAS. 521 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:23,668 ( APPLAUSE ). 522 00:28:23,735 --> 00:28:30,975 >> YOU ALSO-- YOU ALSO-- YOU AND SOTOMAYOR SAID I DISSENT 523 00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:33,478 ININSTEAD OF THE TRADITIONAL I RESPECTFULLY DISSENT. 524 00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:36,381 IS THAT A SUPREME COURT MIC DROP? 525 00:28:36,448 --> 00:28:37,549 WHAT IS THAT? 526 00:28:37,615 --> 00:28:38,683 IS THAT LIKE A DIS? 527 00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:40,051 >> IT COULD BE. 528 00:28:40,118 --> 00:28:41,553 IT NEEDN'T BE. 529 00:28:41,619 --> 00:28:45,056 IT COULD BE THAT I JUST FORGET TO PUT IN-- 530 00:28:45,123 --> 00:28:45,590 ( APPLAUSE ). 531 00:28:45,657 --> 00:28:46,958 >> COULD BE, COULD BE. 532 00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:48,626 WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 533 00:28:48,693 --> 00:28:54,933 BUT WHEN WE RETURN, WE'LL BE BACK WO WITH MORE JUSTICE STEPHE 534 00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:55,500 BREYER. 535 00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:55,900 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. 536 00:29:04,909 --> 00:29:07,378 WE'RE BACK! 537 00:29:07,445 --> 00:29:09,781 ♪ ♪ ♪ WITH THE AUTHOR OF THE "THE 538 00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:14,052 AUTHORITY OF THE COURT AND THE PERIL OF POLITICS," JUSTICE 539 00:29:14,119 --> 00:29:15,186 STEPHEN BREYER. 540 00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:17,555 YOUR NEW BOOK OUTLINES THE DANGERS OF THE JUSTICES BEING 541 00:29:17,622 --> 00:29:21,993 PERCEIVED AS POLITICAL FIGURES AS OPPOSED TO JUDGES. 542 00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:23,428 YOU'VE SERVED FOR 27 YEARS. 543 00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:26,030 WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS A SUBJECT THAT NEEDS TO BE 544 00:29:26,097 --> 00:29:27,298 ADDRESSED NOW? 545 00:29:27,365 --> 00:29:31,669 >> BECAUSE I THINK THAT PEOPLE, PARTICULARLY YOUNGER PEOPLE AND 546 00:29:31,736 --> 00:29:35,607 THE FUTURE OF THIS COUNTRY IS IN THEIR HANDS, I'M AFRAID, NOT 547 00:29:35,673 --> 00:29:36,774 MINE. 548 00:29:36,841 --> 00:29:37,942 IT'S UP TO THE HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS, THE COLLEGE STUDENTS. 549 00:29:38,009 --> 00:29:41,946 AND I THINK THAT THEY LOOK AT MANY OF OUR INSTITUTIONS AND 550 00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:43,982 THEY FEEL A LACK OF CONFIDENCE. 551 00:29:44,048 --> 00:29:47,051 I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. 552 00:29:47,118 --> 00:29:48,253 THERE ARE REASONS. 553 00:29:48,319 --> 00:29:54,425 BUT IF THERE'S TOO MUCH DISTRUST OF THE INSTITUTIONS, PEOPLE 554 00:29:54,492 --> 00:29:55,660 CAN'T LIVE TOGETHER IN SOCIETY. 555 00:29:55,727 --> 00:30:01,966 SO THEY HAVE TO WORK OUT WAYS, WAYS WHERE THEY CAN IMPROVE THE 556 00:30:02,033 --> 00:30:05,170 INSTITUTION, WAYS WHERE THEY CAN TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE, WAYS WHERE 557 00:30:05,236 --> 00:30:09,841 THEY CAN MAKE THEIR ARGUMENT IN A CIVIL MANNER AND GRADUALLY 558 00:30:09,908 --> 00:30:11,075 BRING THIS COUNTRY TOGETHER. 559 00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:16,181 AND I HAVE A LITTLE-- A LITTLE SORT OF WINDOW ON SOME OF THAT. 560 00:30:16,247 --> 00:30:17,182 >> Stephen: TINY LITTLE BOOK. 561 00:30:17,248 --> 00:30:18,516 >> IT IS A TINY BOOK. 562 00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:20,251 >> Stephen: TINY LITTLE BOOK. 563 00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:25,523 >> IT'S NOT AS TINY AS THE CONSTITUTION. 564 00:30:25,590 --> 00:30:28,459 >> Stephen: NO, NO, BUT JUST AS GOOD, JUST AS GOOD. 565 00:30:28,526 --> 00:30:32,230 ( APPLAUSE ) DO YOU HAVE-- I'M CURIOUS, YOU 566 00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:36,601 SAY THAT PEOPLE NEED TO WORK TO IMPROVE THE INSTITUTIONS, THE 567 00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:38,603 SUPREME COURT BEING ONE OF THE INSTITUTIONS. 568 00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,738 WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE TO IMPROVE IT? 569 00:30:40,805 --> 00:30:41,873 >> IN THE COURT? 570 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:44,642 >> Stephen: YOUR COURT, THE SUPREME COURT. 571 00:30:44,709 --> 00:30:49,480 >> OF COURSE I'M TEMPT TOLD SAY, WHICH IS A FRIVOLOUS REMARK, BUT 572 00:30:49,547 --> 00:30:52,083 I'M TEMPTED TO SAY PEOPLE COULD AGREE WITH ME ALL THE TIME, BUT 573 00:30:52,150 --> 00:30:54,752 THAT IS A FRIVOLOUS REMARK. 574 00:30:54,819 --> 00:30:58,823 AND THE ANSWER IS, GRADUALLY, OVER TIME, OVER QUITE A LONG 575 00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:02,293 TIME, I'VE COME TO REALIZE-- AND IT'S SORT OF I SHOULD HAVE 576 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:07,065 REALIZED IT FROM DAY ONE, BUT, I MEAN, YOU INTERNAL IT-- THIS IS 577 00:31:07,131 --> 00:31:08,233 A BIG COUNTRY. 578 00:31:08,299 --> 00:31:10,235 THERE ARE 331 MILLION PEOPLE. 579 00:31:10,301 --> 00:31:12,704 THERE'S EVERY RACE, EVERY RELIGION, EVERY POINT OF VIEW. 580 00:31:12,770 --> 00:31:16,374 AND SOMEHOW, THROUGH A MIRACLE, THEY'VE COME TOGETHER AND 581 00:31:16,441 --> 00:31:21,045 LEARNED HOW TO LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE COUNTRY, AND WE SEE ALL 582 00:31:21,112 --> 00:31:24,983 THOSE PEOPLE IN FRONT OF US WORKING OUT THEIR MAJOR 583 00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:31,456 DIFFERENCES UNDER LAW AND NOT WITH GUNS OR OTHER THINGS THAT 584 00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:35,293 ARE REALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND DANGEROUS. 585 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,428 >> Stephen: BUT-- ( APPLAUSE ) 586 00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:40,531 I GUESS WHAT I THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WERE SAYING THAT IS, I THINK 587 00:31:40,598 --> 00:31:43,501 THOSE 330 MILLION PEOPLE, MANY OF THEM WOULD SAY THEY DO NOT 588 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:46,537 SEE THE COURT AS BEING REPRESENTATIVE, BECAUSE MANY OF 589 00:31:46,604 --> 00:31:50,241 THE PEOPLE ON THE COURT, MOSTLY THOSE WHO LEAN MORE TOWARD TO 590 00:31:50,308 --> 00:31:53,478 THE RIGHT WING OF THE COURT-- IF THERE IS SUCH A WING IN YOUR 591 00:31:53,544 --> 00:31:57,181 MIND-- WERE APPOINTED BY PRESIDENTS WHO DID NOT HAVE A 592 00:31:57,248 --> 00:32:01,486 MAJORITY OF THE VOTE WHEN THEY WERE ELECTED, BY A SENATE, 593 00:32:01,552 --> 00:32:06,257 REPUBLICAN SENATE CONFIRMED, THAT REPRESENTS 41 MILLION FEWER 594 00:32:06,324 --> 00:32:09,394 AMERICANS THAN THE DEMOCRATS IN THE SENATE. 595 00:32:09,460 --> 00:32:12,630 AND WHILE YOU YOURSELF MAY NOT BE POLITICAL-- AND I ACCEPT 596 00:32:12,697 --> 00:32:17,735 THAT-- THE COURT ITSELF IS CREATED THROUGH A POLITICAL 597 00:32:17,802 --> 00:32:21,306 SYSTEM THAT NO LONGER REPRESENTS WILL THE MAJORITY OF THE 598 00:32:21,372 --> 00:32:23,074 AMERICAN PEOPLE. 599 00:32:23,141 --> 00:32:37,121 ( APPLAUSE ) >> I TWO-- ONE IS A NOT-DIRECT 600 00:32:37,188 --> 00:32:38,323 RESPONSE. 601 00:32:38,389 --> 00:32:42,794 I MEAN, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THE FOUNDERS WROTE THIS 602 00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:45,330 DOCUMENT, THE CONSTITUTION. 603 00:32:45,396 --> 00:32:48,399 AND A LETTER FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON SAYS IT'S AN 604 00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:49,567 EXPERIMENT. 605 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:54,839 IF YOU READ THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS-- AND MY WIFE PAID OF MY 606 00:32:54,906 --> 00:32:58,443 GRANDCHILDREN $20 TO MEMORIZE IT, AND THEY DID. 607 00:32:58,509 --> 00:33:03,047 AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT LINCOLN, I THINK, IS REALLY SAYING IS THIS 608 00:33:03,114 --> 00:33:05,316 IS AN EXPERIMENT. 609 00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:09,153 WELL, YOU PUT YOUR HAND ON-- YOUR FINGERS ON SOME FLAWS. 610 00:33:09,220 --> 00:33:12,357 AND YOU CAN SAY THEY'RE MAJOR OR MINOR. 611 00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:15,693 YOU HAVE A YOUNG AUDIENCE HERE, AND SO I'M VERY SORRY TO DO 612 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:21,366 THIS, BUT I SAY THE THING TO DO IS FOR THEM TO WORK OUT HOW YOU 613 00:33:21,432 --> 00:33:24,268 CAN MAKE THIS IMPROVEMENT OR THAT IMPROVEMENT OR THE OTHER 614 00:33:24,335 --> 00:33:29,707 IMPROVEMENT, AND WE HAVE A FIRST AMENDMENT THAT ALLOWS FOR FREE 615 00:33:29,774 --> 00:33:31,042 SPEECH-- INDEED, INSISTS ON IT. 616 00:33:31,109 --> 00:33:35,012 WE HAVE A DEMOCRATIC SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT, AND IF I'VE LEARNED 617 00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,950 ANYTHING, IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING IN THE LAST 27, 28 618 00:33:39,016 --> 00:33:42,153 YEARS, IT'S THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH ME. 619 00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:47,291 AND THE WAY TO DEAL WITH THEM, IN MY OPINION, LISTEN TO WHAT 620 00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:49,060 THEY SAY. 621 00:33:49,127 --> 00:33:53,297 AND IF THEY TALK ENOUGH, YOU WILL FIND SOME AREAS WHERE YOU 622 00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:54,499 AGREE. 623 00:33:54,565 --> 00:33:57,168 AND THEN YOU WORK WITH THOSE, AND YOU WORK WITH THOSE FOR A 624 00:33:57,235 --> 00:33:58,169 POSITIVE OUTCOME. 625 00:33:58,236 --> 00:34:00,505 I MEAN, IN CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS, WHEN GOING 626 00:34:00,571 --> 00:34:02,940 THROUGH COVID, PEOPLE FORMED NEIGHBORHOOD COMMITTEES, AND 627 00:34:03,007 --> 00:34:05,910 THEY WENT TO SEE OLD PEOPLE, SEE IF THEY HAVE ENOUGH FOOD. 628 00:34:05,977 --> 00:34:07,712 THAT DIDN'T JUST HAPPEN IN CAMBRIDGE. 629 00:34:07,779 --> 00:34:08,846 IT HAPPENED IN NEW YORK. 630 00:34:08,913 --> 00:34:11,048 IT HAPPENED IN ST. LOUIS. 631 00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:12,617 IT HAPPENED IN SAN DIEGO. 632 00:34:12,683 --> 00:34:15,253 WE'RE NOT TOO BAD IN THIS COUNTRY. 633 00:34:15,319 --> 00:34:18,589 WHEN WE DISAGREE-- OH, SOMETIMES IT CAN BE TERRIBLE-- BUT IF WE 634 00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:22,894 WORK AT IT, WE CAN FIGURE OUT WAYS OF WORKING TOGETHER, 635 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,130 LISTENING, WORKING TOGETHER, TRYING TO FIND WAYS OF BUILDING 636 00:34:26,197 --> 00:34:27,064 THINGS THAT ARE POSITIVE. 637 00:34:27,131 --> 00:34:29,167 WE HAVE A LONG HISTORY OF THAT HAPPENING. 638 00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:35,306 WE HAVE SOME BAD DOWNS, BUT WE ALSO HAVE SOME PRETTY GOOD UPS. 639 00:34:35,373 --> 00:34:36,207 WHY DO I SAY THAT? 640 00:34:36,274 --> 00:34:38,209 BECAUSE YOU HAVE A YOUNG AUDIENCE. 641 00:34:38,276 --> 00:34:41,312 BECAUSE I SAY TO MY GRANDCHILDREN, "HEY, IT'S UP TO 642 00:34:41,379 --> 00:34:43,548 YOU, MY FRIEND. 643 00:34:43,614 --> 00:34:47,985 YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS EXPERIMENT FROM WASHINGTON, FROM 644 00:34:48,052 --> 00:34:52,323 LINCOLN, FROM OUR PAST, OF UPS AND DOWNS, AND YOU'VE KNOT TO 645 00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:56,160 SEE THAT IT'S GOING TO TURN OUT POSITIVE." 646 00:34:56,227 --> 00:34:59,564 AND I WANT PEOPLE TO REALLY-- I REALLY WANT THEM TO BETTER 647 00:34:59,630 --> 00:35:07,071 UNDERSTAND THE COURT AS PART OF THAT-- FILLED WITH FLAWS. 648 00:35:07,138 --> 00:35:10,007 THERE WAS "PLEASE VERSUS FERGUSON," THERE WAS 649 00:35:10,074 --> 00:35:14,178 SEGREGATION, BUT THERE WAS ALSO "BROWN VERSUS BOARD OF 650 00:35:14,245 --> 00:35:18,516 SEGREGATION" WHICH SAID THERE WILL BE NO MORE LEGAL 651 00:35:18,583 --> 00:35:19,684 SEGREGATION. 652 00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,686 THE TASKS ARE DIFFICULT, THE TASKS ARE DIFFICULT, PUT WE DO 653 00:35:21,752 --> 00:35:24,989 HAVE INSTITUTIONS, IN MY OPINION, AND WE HAVE A 654 00:35:25,056 --> 00:35:28,626 CONSTITUTION THAT CAN HELP US DEAL WITH THEM AND LIVE TOGETHER 655 00:35:28,693 --> 00:35:32,063 DEMOCRATICALLY FOR ANOTHER 250 YEARS. 656 00:35:32,129 --> 00:35:33,898 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE 657 00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:36,567 ANOTHER BREAK, BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE. 658 00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:38,870 WHEN WE COME BACK WE'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IS A HOT DOG A 659 00:35:38,936 --> 00:35:41,405 SANDWICH WITH JUSTICE STEPHEN BREYER. 660 00:36:07,832 --> 00:36:09,300 ( APPLAUSE ) >> AND NOW, A MOLE GETS WHACKED 661 00:36:09,367 --> 00:36:11,269 EVERY TIME ANOTHER CRACK APPEARS IN DEMOCRACY. 662 00:36:11,335 --> 00:36:13,337 >> YOU'LL NEVER WHACK ME. 663 00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:16,340 >> I DO NOT BELIEVE WHATSOEVER WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 664 00:36:16,407 --> 00:36:22,046 >> DO YOU TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS 665 00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:23,080 DISASTROUS WITHDRAWAL? 666 00:36:23,147 --> 00:36:26,250 >> I BELIEVE YOU, CIRC SHOULD RESIGN. 667 00:36:26,317 --> 00:36:28,152 THAT WOULD BE LEADERSHIP. 668 00:36:28,219 --> 00:36:30,821 I ABSOLUTELY WONDER IF YOU WERE COMPLICEIT IN THIS AS WELL. 669 00:36:30,888 --> 00:36:34,492 >> HOW LONG DOES THIS GO ON FOR? 670 00:36:34,559 --> 00:36:35,092 OKAY. 671 00:36:35,159 --> 00:36:37,628 >> LET ME FINISH, PLEASE. 672 00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:41,098 >> USUALLY THE MALLET IS PADDED. 673 00:36:41,165 --> 00:36:42,934 OKAY, I GOT MY SKULL CRACKED. 674 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,869 IS THAT HOW YOU GET OFF FEELING GOOD, DIXIE CUPS TO CATCH THE 675 00:36:44,936 --> 00:36:46,437 BRAINS COMING OUT OF MY EARS? 676 00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:48,072 I'M NOT WAKING UP FROM THIS. 677 00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:51,042 ALL I ASK IS YOU CHUCK ME INTO THE WOODS. 678 00:36:51,108 --> 00:36:54,979 OFF TO HEAVEN. 679 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,013 DAMN IT! 680 00:37:09,327 --> 00:37:12,029 WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "THE AUTHORITY OF THE COURT AND 681 00:37:12,096 --> 00:37:15,967 THE PERIL OF POLITICS," JUSTICE STEPHEN BREYER. 682 00:37:16,033 --> 00:37:18,269 THE LAST QUESTION IS, ARE YOU GOING TO RETIRE? 683 00:37:18,336 --> 00:37:21,205 >> AM I GOING TO RETIRE? 684 00:37:21,272 --> 00:37:25,543 >> Stephen: EVENTUALLY YOU SAID THERE ARE SO MANY FACTORS 685 00:37:25,610 --> 00:37:28,179 INVOLVED IN IT, AND I TRUST THAT THERE ARE. 686 00:37:28,245 --> 00:37:32,149 HOW DOES IT FEEL-- GEORGE R.R. 687 00:37:32,216 --> 00:37:37,154 MARTIN GETS MAD WHEN PEOPLE ASK HIM TO WRITE "THE WINDS OF 688 00:37:37,221 --> 00:37:40,725 WINTER," ESSENTIALLY WHEN PEOPLE SAY WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO 689 00:37:40,791 --> 00:37:43,294 RETIRE, THEY'RE AFRAID YOU'LL DIE WHEN A REPUBLICAN IS OFFICE 690 00:37:43,361 --> 00:37:47,264 AND THEY WON'T REPLACE SOMEONE MORE IN KEEPING WITH YOUR 691 00:37:47,331 --> 00:37:48,099 JUDICIAL PHILOSOPHY. 692 00:37:48,165 --> 00:37:50,001 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SPECULATION? 693 00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:53,337 >> I, MYSELF, WOULD PREFER NOT TO DIE PERIOD. 694 00:37:53,404 --> 00:37:55,039 >> Stephen: IF YOU COULD RULE ON IT. 695 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:56,140 >> RIGHT, RIGHT. 696 00:37:56,207 --> 00:37:59,543 ( APPLAUSE ) AND GEORGE R. MARTIN, DID HE 697 00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:01,479 WRITE "GAME OF THRONES." 698 00:38:01,545 --> 00:38:03,047 >> Stephen: HE HASN'T FINISHED IT YET. 699 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:06,417 THAT'S WHY THEY'RE EAGER FOR HIM TO NOT RETIRE FROM THE SCENE. 700 00:38:06,484 --> 00:38:11,055 >> I HAVE THOUGHT WHEN SEEING THAT, IF ONLY I COULD WRITE "THE 701 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:11,922 GAME OF THRONES." 702 00:38:11,989 --> 00:38:13,190 BUT I CAN'T DO IT. 703 00:38:13,257 --> 00:38:15,860 >> Stephen: BUT IF YOU COULD YOU WOULD RETIRE? 704 00:38:15,926 --> 00:38:17,028 >> NO. 705 00:38:17,094 --> 00:38:18,663 >> Stephen: THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO WOULD FIND 706 00:38:18,729 --> 00:38:19,830 YOU A GHOST WRITER. 707 00:38:19,897 --> 00:38:21,732 WHAT WOULD DO YOU IF YOU DID RETIRE? 708 00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:25,136 IF YOU COULD RETIRE, OR IF THIS WAS THE RIGHT TIME, WHAT WOULD 709 00:38:25,202 --> 00:38:25,703 YOUR PLANS BE? 710 00:38:25,770 --> 00:38:26,771 >> I'M NOT SURE. 711 00:38:26,837 --> 00:38:28,439 >> Stephen: WHAT'S FUN FOR YOU? 712 00:38:28,506 --> 00:38:29,373 >> I'M NOT SURE. 713 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,075 >> Stephen: HIKING, WOODWORKING. 714 00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:31,709 >> COOKING. 715 00:38:31,776 --> 00:38:32,176 >> Stephen: COOKING? 716 00:38:32,243 --> 00:38:32,843 >> YEAH. 717 00:38:32,910 --> 00:38:34,045 >> Stephen: OKAY. 718 00:38:34,111 --> 00:38:36,447 YOU'RE GOING TO GET A LOT OF REALLY NICE POTS AND PANS AFTER 719 00:38:36,514 --> 00:38:37,882 THIS INTERVIEW. 720 00:38:37,948 --> 00:38:41,886 ( APPLAUSE ) AND IF I RETIRE, YOU CAN ACCEPT 721 00:38:41,952 --> 00:38:43,087 THEM. 722 00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:45,890 I HAVE-- I HAVE TO ASK YOU THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION I HAVE 723 00:38:45,956 --> 00:38:49,860 EVER ASKED ANY SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, AND I HAVE ASKED 724 00:38:49,927 --> 00:38:51,362 SEVERAL ( APPLAUSE ). 725 00:38:51,429 --> 00:38:54,398 I HAVE ASKED SEVERAL SUPREME COURT JUSTICES THIS QUESTION: 726 00:38:54,465 --> 00:39:00,638 JUSTICE STEPHEN BREYER, IN YOUR CONSIDERED OPINION, IS A HOT DOG 727 00:39:00,705 --> 00:39:01,839 A SANDWICH? 728 00:39:01,906 --> 00:39:07,411 >> WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN I GREW UP-- I WON'T SAY WHEN-- BUT A 729 00:39:07,478 --> 00:39:12,683 HOT DOG, AMONG OTHER THINGS, WAS A TEENAGER WHO WAS WHAT WE 730 00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:14,051 CALLED "WITH IT." 731 00:39:14,118 --> 00:39:17,088 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SO SOMEONE WHO WAS 732 00:39:17,154 --> 00:39:20,024 A HOT DO WAS WITH A WITH IT TEENAGER? 733 00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:21,225 >> IT COULD BE. 734 00:39:21,292 --> 00:39:24,628 SO THE TRUTHFUL ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS SOMETIMES YES, AND 735 00:39:24,695 --> 00:39:25,863 SOMETIMES NO. 736 00:39:25,930 --> 00:39:36,140 ( APPLAUSE ) THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 737 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:37,875 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE JESSICA CHASTAIN 738 00:39:37,942 --> 00:39:38,776 AND STEPHEN SONDHEIM. 739 00:39:38,843 --> 00:39:41,045 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 740 00:39:41,112 --> 00:39:49,086 GOOD NIGHT. 741 00:39:49,153 --> 00:39:49,987 >> WOULD YOU THROW AWAY 200 BUCKS ON A FAKE VACCINATION 742 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:51,222 CARD? 743 00:39:51,288 --> 00:39:56,927 THE REAL VACCINE IS TOTALLY FREE AND IT GIVES YOU GIANT BALLS. 744 00:39:56,994 --> 00:39:59,330 NOTHING LADIES LIKE MORE THAN A BIG SACK. 745 00:39:59,396 --> 00:40:01,899 OH, THEY LOVE IT. 746 00:40:01,966 --> 00:40:12,243 ( LAUGHTER ) 100%. 747 00:40:12,309 --> 00:40:14,211 >> Jon: WOW. 748 00:40:14,278 --> 00:40:15,079 >> Stephen: ALL THE TIME. 749 00:40:15,146 --> 00:40:17,548 OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH, JON. 750 00:40:17,615 --> 00:40:18,616 I'LL SEND YOU SOME LINKS.