>> A ROMANCE NOVEL COVER MODEL HAS BEEN CHARGED IN THE U.S.
CAPITOL RIOTS.
LOGAN BARNHART ATTENDED THE RALLY ON JULY 6 AND WAS A PRIME
TARGET BY THE F.B.I. FOR HIS ROLE IN THE ATTACK.
PHOTOS OF A SHIRTLESS BARNHART HAVE GRACED THE COVER OF ROMANCE
NOVELS WITH NAMES LIKE "STEPBROTHER UNSEALED," A BAD-
BOY MILITARY ROMANCE; AND "LIGHTER," WHICH EVEN INCLUDED
THE SLOGAN, "WRONG NEVER FELT SO RIGHT."
♪ ♪ ♪ >> ARE YOU A FAN OF ROMANCE AND
ALSO INTO DESTROYING DEMOCRACY?
HARLEQUIN ROMANCE IS PROUD TO PRESENT "THE INSURRECTION
COLLECTION," SULTRY TALES OF AMOUR AND DOMESTIC TERRORISM.
EACH NOVEL WILL SET YOUR HEART AND THEN THE U.S. CAPITOL
AFLAME.
SWOON OVER TITLES LIKE "STOLEN ERECTION," "THE WELL-HUNG VICE
PRESIDENT," "PROUD BOY-TOY," "STOLEN KISSES AND PODIUMS,"
"Q-AMOUR-ANON," AND, OF COURSE, "SE-DEUCE SMEARED ON THE WALLS."
THE HARLEQUIN INSURRECTION COLLECTION.
IF THESE ROMANCE NOVELS ARE WRONG, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALL
RIGHT.
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
DANIEL RADCLIFFE AND MUSICAL GUEST DAN + SHAY
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Jon: YEAH!
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
ALL WEEK-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IF YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW, YOU KNOW ALL WEEK I'VE
BEEN TALKING ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN AFGHANISTAN.
IT'S A COMEDY GOLD MINE-- IN THAT TRYING TO DO JOKES ABOUT
IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE TRAPPED DEEP UNDERGROUND WITHOUT
ENOUGH OXYGEN.
BUT TODAY, ALL THE NEWS FROM THERE IS "WAIT AND SEE."
SO I, TOO, AM GOING TO WAIT, AND SEE WHAT ELSE THERE IS TO TALK
ABOUT-- YOU KNOW, LIGHTER NEWS, LIKE THE DELTA VARIANT.
( LAUGHTER ) SPEAKING OF WHICH, WE'RE GETTING
REINFORCEMENTS TO FIGHT IT.
TODAY, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION ANNOUNCED BOOSTER SHOTS WILL BE
OFFERED TO AMERICANS BEGINNING SEPTEMBER 20.
OF COURSE-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THE VAX MAN'S HERE.
OF COURSE, NOT ALL AMERICANS ARE IN FAVOR OF EVEN ONE VACCINE.
IN SAN DIEGO, A BUNCH OF THESE FOLKS, CAME OUT TO PROTEST
VACCINE MANDATES AT A BOARD OF SUPERVISORS MEETING-- AND BUCKLE
YOUR BRAIN: >> WE SHOULD NOT BE SPENDING OUR
TIME HERE AND OUR LIFE FORCE ENERGY FIGHTING PEOPLE WHO LACK
CRITICAL THINKING AND COMMON SENSE, YET WANT TO PUSH A
VACCINE ON US.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
SATURN IS IN THE SAME POSITION AS IT WAS DURING THE AMERICAN
REVOLUTION OF 1776, AND YOU ARE THE REDCOATS.
>> Stephen: THAT IS CRAZY!
( LAUGHTER ) THAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING I
HAVE EVER SEEN OR HEARD.
SATURN IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION.
MARS IS.
THINK ABOUT IT: RED COATS, RED PLANET.
IF YOU DON'T GET THAT, YOU'RE CLEARLY A LIBRA.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS GUY'S MESSAGE CHANGED SOME
HEARTS AND MINDS...
AND LOINS.
>> TO THE MEN THAT HAVE SHOWN UP, OH THAT'S BEEN SUPER HOT.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO GET UP HERE AND JUST
ROAR LIKE A LION.
THAT'S AWESOME.
>> Stephen: RROWRR!
( LAUGHTER ) YOU GET IT, GIRL!
YOU CAN CATCH HER IN THE NEW REALITY DATING SHOW:
"THE ANTI-VAX-LORETTE."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
"RYAN, WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS PATHOGEN?"
( COUGHS ) ANOTHER ANTI-VAXXER WHO SPOKE
PROVED THAT SHE'S NOT A THREAT TO SOCIETY.
SHE'S A TRIPLE THREAT TO SOCIETY.
>> I GOT A QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS.
♪ DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?
SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN ♪ IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE
WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN ♪ HEY, THAT WAS OFF THE CUFF.
I DIDN'T EVEN PLAN TO DO THAT.
I DON'T EVEN SING.
>> Stephen: "OH, NO.
WHAT HAPPENED?
DID I BREAK OUT WITH A BROADWAY SHOW TUNE?
DON'T WORRY, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO--
♪ WHEN YOU'RE A JET YOU'RE A JET ALL THE WAY,
♪ FROM YOUR FIRST CIGARETTE TO YOUR LAST DYIN' DAY! ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) COOL BOY!
CRAZY BOY!
EASY ACTION!
♪ MORE THAN A WOMAN TO ME ♪ BUT THE ABSOLUTE BELLE OF THE
CRAZYBALLS WAS A MAN NAMED MATT BAKER, WHO OPENED HIS SPEECH
LIKE THIS: ( WHISTLES )
>> THAT'S THE WIND.
THAT'S THE WIND OF TIME.
THAT'S THE WIND OF HISTORY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, BLOB MARLEY ( LAUGHTER )
PRETTY SURE THAT'S THE WIND OF "YOU TRIED TO WHISTLE AND THEN
REALIZED YOU COULDN'T AND PRETENDED YOU WERE IMITATING THE
WIND."
"YOU GUYS KNOW THE THEME SONG TO 'ANDY GRIFFITH'THEME SONG?
( TRYING TO WHISTLE ) THAT'S THE WIND BLOWING THROUGH
THE BONES OF FLOYD THE BARBER."
( LAUGHTER ) ONCE THE WIND DIED DOWN, MATT'S
SPEECH GOT PRETTY INTENSE.
>> YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL BE
SUBJUGATED!
THEY WILL BE ASKED, "HOW MANY VACCINES HAVE YOU HAD?
HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD LITTLE NAZI?"
HEIL FAUCI!
( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )
>> Stephen: I MISS THE WHISTLING.
( LAUGHTER ) OKAY A LITTLE ADVICE:
I CAN SEE YOU'RE PASSIONATE.
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU.
BUT I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU OF THE PHRASE, "YOU CATCH MORE
FLIES WITH HONEY THAN YOU DO WITH CRYSTAL METH."
( LAUGHTER ) POINT IS, THEY TILTED THE
COUNTRY, AND ALL THE NUTS ROLLED TO CALIFORNIA, RIGHT?
( WHISPERING ) I'M SO WORRIED FOR OUR COUNTRY,
BECAUSE ONE OF THESE MANIACS ONE OF THESE MANIACS,
COULD BECOME THE NEXT GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA.
AS WE SPEAK, GOLDEN STATERS ARE DECIDING WHETHER TO RECALL
CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR GAVIN NEWSOM, SEEN HERE YELLING,
"BRING ME MORE POMADE!" NEWSOM IS RELATIVELY POPULAR,
WITH A 57% APPROVAL RATING, BUT THAT MIGHT NOT SAVE HIM.
YOU SEE, RECALL ELECTIONS ARE NOTORIOUSLY LOW TURNOUT, AND THE
RULES ARE REALLY STRANGE.
IF NEWSOM GETS 50% OR MORE OF THE VOTES, HE STAYS IN OFFICE,
BUT IF HE GETS 49%, THE NEW GOVERNOR WILL BE WHOEVER AMONG
HIS 46 CHALLENGERS GETS THE MOST VOTES, EVEN IF NO RIVAL GETS A
MAJORITY.
SO WHO COULD BE THE NEXT GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA?
ACCORDING TO ONE POLL, THE FRONTRUNNER IS 29-YEAR-OLD
YOUTUBE INFLUENCER KEVIN PAFFRATH.
( AS YOUTUBER ) "WHAT UP, CALI?
WHAT KIND OF POLICIES DO YOU WANNA SEE ME ENACT?
HIT ME UP IN THE COMMENTS!
LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!
BYEEE!" ( LAUGHTER )
PAFFRATH IS A DEMOCRAT, BUT LAST NIGHT, THERE WAS A REPUBLICAN
DEBATE, WHICH FEATURED AN INTERESTING MOMENT FOR FORMER
GUBERNATORIAL NOMINEE AND MAN WHO'S SOMEHOW WHITER THAN HIS
SHIRT, JOHN COX.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DEBATE, COX WAS INTERRUPTED:
>> I WANT TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT FIRST TO MY FELLOW--
>> JOHN COX, YOU'VE BEEN SERVED, SAN DIEGO SUPERIOR COURT.
>> Stephen: HE WAS SERVED LEGAL PAPERS WHILE HE WAS DEBATING.
IT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING DELIVERY--
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING
DELIVERY IN A DEBATE SINCE ABRAHAM LINCOLN ORDERED TAKEOUT.
( AS PIZZA DELIVERY GUY ) "UH, ABE?
GOT A PIZZA FOR ABE LINCOLN, AND CRAZY BREAD FOR MARY?"
REALLY?
REALLY!
MARY LINCOLN FANS.
I DIDN'T KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
( LAUGHTER ) IN OTHER RIGHT-WING NUT-JOB
NEWS, THE FEDS ARE STILL IN HOT PURSUIT OF THE INSURRECTIONISTS
OF JANUARY 6.
AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IN TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP
ROUNDUP."
>> THEY'VE DONE INCOW-CULABLE DAMAGE TO DE-MOOOO-CRACY!
>> Stephen: FIRST UP IN THE CORRECTIONAL CORRAL: MICHIGAN
RESIDENT AND ROID-RAGE UNABOMBER, LOGAN BARNHART.
BARNHART WAS CAUGHT ON VIDEO BEATING A CAPITOL POLICEMAN.
BUT IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME HE'S BEEN ON CAMERA, BECAUSE HE'S
ALSO APPEARED SHIRTLESS ON THE COVER OF ROMANCE NOVELS.
IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN THE SHAH OF IRAN WAS OVERTHROWN BY FABIO.
INVESTIGATORS WERE HELPED BY BARNHART'S HUGE PRESENCE ONLINE,
WHERE HE POSTS NUMEROUS VIDEOS OF HIMSELF WORKING OUT AND
MODELING ON THE BOOK COVERS OF RAUNCHY NOVELS LIKE "STEPBROTHER
UNSEALED," A BAD BOY MILITARY ROMANCE."
"CRASH AND BURN: A SIN AND TONIC NOVEL."
AND "LIGHTER"-- NAMED AFTER WHAT HE'S GOING TO BEG THE JUDGE TO
MAKE HIS SENTENCE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NEXT AT THE INSURR-RODEO, CAPITOL RIOTER MICHAEL AARON
CARICO, SEEN HERE MODELING FOR...
CHIQUITA BANANA?
( LAUGHTER ) CARICO WAS ARRESTED AND CHARGED
WITH SEVERAL COUNTS RELATED TO THE RIOT, THANKS TO VIDEO
EVIDENCE OF HIM IN A CROWD SINGING THE WORDS "THE LAND OF
THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE" FROM "THE STAR-SPANGLED
BANNER," THEN LOOKING AT A CAMERA AND SAYING, "HEY
NANCY, GO (BLEEP) YOURSELF."
OKAY, THAT'S AN INTERESTING CHOICE.
NORMALLY, PEOPLE JUST YELL "PLAY BALL!"
BUT TRYING TO OVERTHROW AN ELECTED GOVERNMENT IS JUST
CARICO'S DAY JOB, BECAUSE HE'S ALSO WORKING AS AN ACTOR
WHO EVEN HAS A PAGE ON IMDB.
FOR PEOPLE TRYING TO EVADE THE LAW, IMDB STANDS FOR
"I AM DUMB."
( LAUGHTER ) ACCORDING TO HIS PAGE, CARICO'S
LATEST ROLE IS BRAD, IN THE UPCOMING FILM, "CHRISTMAS DOWN
UNDER."
MAYBE HE'LL SPEND CHRISTMAS DOWN UNDER, OR MAYBE HE'LL END UP
WITH THE TOP BUNK.
FINALLY ON THE "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP ROUNDUP," WE TURN TO
EDUARD FLOREA, SEEN HERE IN A SOCIAL MEDIA POST SPONSORED BY
COCA-COLA.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
TECHNICALLY-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Jon: A REALLY GOOD ONE.
I REALLY LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: TECHNICALLY, FLOREA DIDN'T ACTUALLY GO TO THE
CAPITOL ON JANUARY 6.
HE ENCOURAGED THE RIOTERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
BUT THIS YEAR, EVERYONE'S BEEN WORKING REMOTELY.
( LAUGHTER ) FLOREA HAS BEEN ARRESTED AND
PLED GUILTY FOR MAKING THREATS ONLINE AGAINST GEORGIA SENATOR
RAPHAEL WARNOCK.
BUT HE WASN'T EVEN VERY GOOD AT BEING VERY BAD.
ON THE FAR-RIGHT SITE PARLER, HE POSTED, "WARNOCK IS GOING TO
HAVE A HARD TIME CASTING VOTES FOR COMMUNIST POLICIES WHEN
HE'S SWINGING WITH THE (BLEEP) FISH."
WHICH IS A HORRIBLE THREAT-- AND A HORRIBLE MISQUOTING OF THE
GODFATHER.
( AS DON CORLEONE ) "I'M GONNA MAKE HIM AN OMELET HE
CAN'T REFUSE... " WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS DANIEL RADCLIFFE.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, "WELCOME BACK!
WON'T YOU SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU ALL RIGHT THE?
>> Jon: WOOO!
>> Stephen: YOU ALL RIGHT?
>> Jon: WOOO!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
>> Stephen: YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU-- YOU-- SAVE SOME ENERGY FOR
THIS WEEKEND.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TO BE PERFORMING IT'S IN THE "WELCOME
BACK NEW YORK" CONCERT.
WHAT'S IT CALLED AGAIN?
WHAT'S IT CALLED?
IT'S THIS SATURDAY IN CENTRAL PARK.
IT'S A PLETHORA OF MUSICAL STARS OUT THERE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO-- I WILL BE THERE BY THE WAY.
I WILL BE THERE AND I WILL SEE YOU.
>> Jon: I HEARD YOU MIGHT BE SINGING A SONG.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: ♪ MORE THAN A WOMAN TO ME ♪
>> Jon: YEAH, COME ON!
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT SONG I MIGHT BE
SINGING?
BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
>> Jon: WELL, I'LL SEE YOU THERE AND WE'LL FIND OUT
TOGETHER.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S A DEAL.
THAT'S A DEAL.
YOU AND I WILL IMPROVISE.
WE'LL SCAT.
OKAY.
FOLKS, YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO STICK AROUND A LITTLE BIT LATER,
BECAUSE AMERICA'S BRITISH SWEETHEART, DANIEL RADCLIFFE IS
HERE.
HE'S GOING TO BE RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
ALWAYS-- ALWAYS A DELIGHT.
ALWAYS A DELIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND, YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME
OVER THERE, CAREFULLY HARVESTING THE HIGHEST-QUALITY ORGANIC ACAI
NEWS BERRIES, PUTTING THEM INTO MY CURRENT EVENTS BLENDER, THEN
PULSING ON HIGH UNTIL THEY'VE BECOME A SMOOTH PURPLE PUREE OF
STORIES TO BE PILED WITH GRANOLA, CHIA SEEDS, AND SLICED
JOKE BANANAS, TO MAKE THE HIGH-PRICED, ARTISANAL SMOOTHIE
BOWL OF NEWS THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES FOLKS, I LIKE TO SCROUNGE
TOGETHER SOME EXPIRED KALE FROM THE BACK OF THE FRIDGE, MIX IT
WITH THE FERMENTING ORANGE SLICES LEFT IN THE BACK SEAT
AFTER LAST WEEK'S LITTLE LEAGUE GAME, AND AN APPLE CORE I FOUND
INSIDE A COFFEE CUP, THEN PULVERIZE IT ALL IN A LEAKY
NUTRI-BULLET TO MAKE THE PRISON TOILET GREEN JUICE OF NEWS THAT
IS MY SEGMENT: "MEANWHILE!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) A GIFT.
A GIFT FROM THE LORD IS WHAT THIS IS.
MEANWHILE, A NEW STUDY HAS FOUND THAT, UNLIKE ANIMALS LIKE DOGS,
"CATS PREFER TO GET FREE MEALS OVER WORKING FOR THEIR FOOD."
WAIT!
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT AN ANIMAL THAT SLEEPS 23 HOURS AND
56 MINUTES A DAY WOULD RATHER NOT WORK?
( LAUGHTER ) RESEARCHERS CAME TO THIS
CONCLUSION AFTER THEY PRESENTED FELINES WITH AN EASILY
ACCESSIBLE TRAY OF FOOD AND A SIMPLE-TO-SOLVE FOOD PUZZLE, AND
MOST OF THE CATS OPTED FOR THE TRAY.
WHILE THE REST OF THE CATS OPTED FOR THEIR BUTT.
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, IN ROYAL CONFECTION
NEWS, A SLICE OF CHARLES AND DIANA'S 1981 WEDDING CAKE HAS
SOLD AT AUCTION FOR OVER $2,500.
NOW, THAT'S A HEFTY PRICE TAG, BUT THERE IS NO BETTER GIFT IF
YOU WANT TO TELL THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE, "THIS IS ALL A SHAM,
AND I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE."
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, ACCORDING TO A NEW
STUDY, CONTRARY TO CONVENTIONAL WISDOM, METABOLISM DOESN'T SLOW
DOWN IN MIDDLE AGE.
HOWEVER, ACCORDING TO FIELD RESEARCH CONDUCTED BY A RENOWNED
MIDDLE-AGED TALK SHOW HOST, "YES IT DOES."
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ MEANWHILE, IN WEIRD COMBO NEWS,
DOLLY PARTON IS SET TO RELEASE HER FIRST NOVEL WITH BESTSELLING
AUTHOR JAMES PATTERSON-- HOPEFULLY MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN
THEIR ALBUM OF DUETS: "ONLY ONE OF US CAN SING."
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, IHOP IS ADDING
ALCOHOL TO THE MENU.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ).
>> Jon: OH, NO.
>> Stephen: OH, YOU APPLAUD NOW.
BUT WAIT UNTIL IT'S COMBINED WITH THEIR NEW BREAKFAST
SPECIAL, THE
ROOKY TOOKY SLOSHED AND PUKEY.
STILL SOUNDS GOOD.
THERE ARE NO BAD PANCAKES.
MEANWHILE, IN MEMORY IMPROVEMENT NEWS, FECAL TRANSPLANTS MAY
REVERSE BRAIN AGING IN MICE.
UNFORTUNATELY, THOSE MICE WILL NOW ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THEY
GOT A FECAL TRANSPLANT.
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, EARLIER THIS WEEK,
A TRUCK CARRYING JACK DANIEL'S BOTTLES CRASHED IN COLUMBUS,
OHIO.
FIRST RESPONDERS RUSHED TO THE SCENE WITH BITTERS, ORANGE
PEELS, AND MARASCHINO CHERRIES.
( LAUGHTER ) A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE STATE'S
DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION SAID THE BOTTLES WERE EMPTY AT
THE TIME OF THE CRASH.
AND THE DRIVER ADDED, "YES...
THEY WERE ALL EMPTY BEFORE THE TRASH..."
MEANWHILE, APPARENTLY THERE ARE A "'HORRIFYING' NUMBER OF
SYPHILIS INFECTIONS IN ALBERTA."
WHAT IS "UP," ALBERTA?!
AND WATCH OUT, SASKATCHEWAN.
YOU KEEP RUBBING UP AGAINST THAT, AND YOU MIGHT GET AN
INFECTION IN YOUR REGINA.
( LAUGHTER ) IT SEEMS LIKE THE PRAIRIE POX
MAY BE RUNNING RAMPANT BECAUSE OF "THE POPULARITY OF SOCIAL
MEDIA APPS BEING USED FOR DATING," AND "PEOPLE MAY ALSO BE
TAKING FEWER PRECAUTIONS AND USING CONDOMS LESS FREQUENTLY."
THIS, DESPITE CANADA'S NATIONWIDE SEXUAL HEALTH
CAMPAIGN: "MANSLUT THE MOOSE SAYS: PUT A TOQUE ON YOUR HOCKEY
STICK, EH?" ( LAUGHTER )
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DANIEL RADCLIFFE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HELLO.
YOU KNOW MY GUEST TONIGHT FROM FILMS LIKE "SWISS ARMY MAN,"
"KILL YOUR DARLINGS," AND A LITTLE INDIE FEATURE CALLED "THE
EIGHT HARRY POTTER MOVIES."
HE NOW STARS IN "MIRACLE WORKERS: OREGON TRAIL."
>> AS EACH NEW DAY PUMMELS US WITH A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS
ONSLAUGHT OF FRESH HORRORS WE MUST NOT LOSE FAITH.
AFTER ALL, THIS IS AMERICA!
WHERE OPPORTUNITY AWAITS AROUND EVERY CORNER.
CAN I GET AN "AMEN."
>> AMEN.
>> AAAH.
>> YEAH, JUST PUT HER IN THE COFFIN, TOO, THEY'RE BOTH PRETTY
SMALL.
WE WILL TAKE THIS FROM THE TOP.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," DANIEL
RADCLIFFE!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: IT'S-- IT'S-- >> HEY, MAN.
>> Stephen: IT'S LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
>> GREAT.
THERE ARE SO MANY OF YOU!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S VERY EXCITING.
>> Stephen: ISN'T IT STRANGE?
>> THIS IS, LIKE, THE FIRST BIT OF IN-FRONT OF-PEOPLE PRESS I
HAVE DONE, SO I'M SORRY IF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS
ANYMORE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
IT'S VERY COOL TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS AGAIN.
THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU, TOO.
WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET.
>> Stephen: AND IT IS ALREADY GOING MUCH BETTER THAN THE LAST
TIME WE SPOKE.
>> I THINK YOU'RE BEING HARD ON YOURSELF.
>> Stephen: TECHNICALLY BETTER.
>> I WALKED OUT, AND WE'RE TALKING, AND IT HAPPENED VERY
QUICKLY.
>> Stephen: TO EXPLAIN TO THE PEOPLE WHO MAY NOT HAVE SEEN IT.
IN MARCH OF 2020, WHEN WE HAD TO BUG OUT OF HERE AND I WENT TO
SOUTH CAROLINA TO DO THE SHOW FOR FIVE MONTHS.
YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I INTERVIEWED.
YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I ACTUALLY SPOKE TO.
AND WE HAD SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES THAT WERE ACTUALLY
NOTICED BY THE WORLD.
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES SEND DANIEL RADCLIFFE-STEPHEN COLBERT
INTERVIEW OFF THE RAILS.
STEPHEN COLBERT EMBRACES TECHNICAL ISSUES IN INTERVIEW
WITH DANIEL RADCLIFFE.
DANIEL RADCLIFFE FORCED TO MIME ON "LATE SHOW" AMID TECHNICAL
DIFFICULTIES.
AND I JUST EYE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU REMEMBER OF THAT MOMENT, BUT
I REMEMBER BEING KIND OF THRILLED THAT IT WAS GOING OFF
THE RAILS.
>> ME, TOO.
YOU KNOW, I THINK WE BOTH DO A LOT OF INTERVIEWS, SO WHEN
SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENS, WELL, THIS IS DIFFERENT.
THIS IS FUN.
>> Stephen: ANYTHING UNEXPECTED IS A HOLIDAY.
>> AND IT WAS WITH YOU, SO YOU KNEW IT WOULD STILL BE-- YOU'D
MAKE IT FUNNY.
I DIDN'T HAVE TO -- >> Stephen: LET'S SHOW THE
FOLKS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
JIM.
>> I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HEARING YOU THROUGH MY I.F.B., AND AS
SOON AS WE CAN FIGURE OUT THE WAY I'M SUPPOSED TO HEAR YOU,
WHETHER IT'S ON THIS OR THIS LITTLE LAPTOP HERE, WE'LL FIGURE
IT OUT.
WE'LL GET GOING.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS?
CAN'T HEAR A WORD.
LET'S SEE WHAT KIND OF MIME TRAINING YOU'VE GOT THERE,
RADCLIFFE.
COME ON, YOU TRAINED ACTOR!
NOPE.
WHERE'S YOUR SUIT, DANIEL?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT, DO YOU NOT OWN A SUIT?
COME ON, WE HAVE STANDARDS.
THERE ARE STANDARDS!
WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU BATHED?
HE CAN'T RESPOND.
NO, HE CAN'T RESPOND.
HOW DOES IT FEEL?
WE'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU ON SCREEN FOR YEARS AND YELLING AND
YOU HAVEN'T SAID A DAMN THING BACK.
WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?
I'LL JUST CALL YOU.
I'LL CALL YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) DANIEL.
YOU CAN HEAR ME?
>> HI, STEPHEN.
I CAN HEAR YOU.
CAN YOU HEAR ME.
>> Stephen: I CAN, LOUD AND CLEAR.
THAT WAS-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IS.
>> I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE WORLD AT THAT MOMENT WAS,
LIKE, THE WHOLE WORLD WAS FIGURING OUT HOW TO DO STUFF
AGAIN AND WE WERE THE REAL-- WE WERE THE SYMBOL OF THAT GOING ON
IN THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
WHY SHOULD OUR DAILY JOBBING LESS OF A DISASTER THAN THE REST
OF THE WORLD AT THAT MOMENT?
>> RIGHT.
IT'S A GOOD EQUALIZER.
AND EVERYTHING-- EVERYTHING AFTER THAT ON ZOOM BECAME VERY,
YOU KNOW, ROTE AND PREDICTABLE.
SO THAT WAS REALLY FUN.
>> Stephen: ONE OF THE THINGS YOU DID THAT NIGHT WAS YOU
SHOWED ME-- WHAT HAD YOU CREATED, THE MILLENNIUM FALCON?
>> WE HAD DONE THE JURASSIC PARK.
>> Stephen: IN LEGGOS.
THEN SUDDENLY YOU BECAME KNOWN AS THE LEGO GUY BECAUSE PEOPLE
LOVED SEEING YOUR LEGGOS.
DO YOU GET A LOT OF LEGO STUFF NOW?
>> I DID GET SENT A LOT OF LEGO.
I WAS VERY APPRECIATIVE OF IT, BUT LEGGOS TAKES UP A LOT OF
SPACE, AND MY FRIENDS' YOUNG CHILDREN ARE LEGO RICH.
IT WAS GREAT.
IT WAS A GREAT QUARANTINE TIME PASSER, BUT YOU MENTION ONE
THING YOU WANT TO DO AND IT BECOMES ENTIRE PRESS TOURS.
BUT I'D RATHER TALK ABOUT LEGGOS THAN MYSELF.
I'M LIKE, GREAT, ASK ME ABOUT MY LEGO T-REX.
>> Stephen: I HAVE SAID THE WRONG THING AND GOTTEN GIFTS OF
THINGS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH.
HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU BEFORE?
>> I MENTIONED WHEN I WAS 11 YEARS OLD, MY FAVORITE ANIMAL
WAS WOLVES AND I STILL LOVE THEM, BUT WE GOT SENT SO MUCH
WOLF STUFF.
AND WOLFS ARE NOT MY PARENTS' FAVORITE BUT THEY HAVE SO MUCH
WOLF STUFF IN THE HOUSE NOW.
THEY ALL GOT USED AND APPRECIATED.
BUT YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH --
>> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO MENTION
TONIGHT THAT YOU HOPE PEOPLE WILL SEND YOU?
>> YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME.
IT'S JUST-- THIS IS DANGEROUS.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I LOVE HIGH-END BOURBON.
>> THERE YOU GO.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NOW-- NOW-- ( APPLAUSE )
THE SHOW IS IN ITS THIRD SEASON, "MIRICLE WORKERS," AND THIS
TIME, EACH SEASON IT'S-- IT'S THE SAME ACTORS BUT DIFFERENT
CHARACTERS, DIFFERENT SITUATIONS, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: AND THIS IS "THE OREGON TRAIL" THIS TIME,
HAZARDOUS, PIONEERS GOING ACROSS--
>> YES.
>> Stephen: IT'S ALSO A VIDEO GAME.
>> YES, IT IS.
>> Stephen: THAT AT LEAST A LOT OF AMERICAN KIDS PLAYED.
DID YOU PLAY IT IN THE U.K.
>> SEEMINGLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I DISCOVERED IT IN THE MID-90s
COMPUTER CLASS, THE LAST 15 MINUTES.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF IT IS TEXT BASED.
>> I STILL RECOMMEND IT.
YOU CAN PLAY IT FOR ME ONLINE.
I THINK I PLAYED IT SOMEWHERE LEGAL.
IT WAS VERY EASY.
>> Stephen: WHY WOULD IT BE ILLEGAL?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
SOMEBODY MADE THAT GAME.
MAYBE I SHOULD BE PAYING TO PLAY "OREGON TRAILS."
I WAS TERRIBLE AT IT.
IT'S A GAME ABOUT LONG-TERM PLANNING THAT CHILDREN WERE
PLAYING, HOW GOOD DID THEY EXPECT US TO BE?
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTARY."
>> WE GET A FEW REFERENCES IN THE SHOW.
WE DEFINITELY HAVE A DYSENTARY REFERENCE.
AND IT'S LIKE SO MANY PERIODS OF AMERICAN HISTORY, IT IS FULL OF
BOTH JUST KIND OF AWE-INSPIRING STORIES OF TOUGHNESS AND SORT OF
PERSEVERANCE.
AND, ALSO, JUST THE WORST THINGS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD.
AND IT'S GOT A GOOD MIX ABOUT.
SO COMEDY-- COMEDY GOLD, YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT'S A WESTERN.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND I'M JUST CURIOUS-- I MEAN, ESSENTIAL, I'M
OLDER THAN YOU ARE, BUT WHEN I WAS A KID, WESTERNERS WERE ON
ALL THE TIME.
DID YOU GROW UP WITH WESTERNERS IN THE U.K.?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
CHANNEL 4 EVERY LUNCHTIME WOULD PLAY EITHER A WORLD WAR II MOVIE
OR A WESTERN.
I FEEL LIKE A LOT OF OLD AMERICANA.
YEAH, WE WATCHED A TON OF THEM, ESPECIALLY AT LUNCHTIME, ME AND
MY FRIEND SPENT EVERY LUNCHTIME TOGETHER WOULD WATCH "60 MINUTE
MAKEOVER" A HOME INTERIOR DESIGN SHOW --
>> Stephen: LIKE 11-YEAR-OLDS DO.
>> NO, BUT IT WAS LIKE-- WE CALLED IT "60-MINUTE SCRUB YOUR
HOUSE."
IT WAS 60 MINUTES.
HOW MUCH CAN YOU DO IN 60 MINUTES IN FOUR ROOMS?
SORPRY, THIS WAS NOT THE POINT OF THE QUESTION.
I DID WATCH WESTERNS.
I ALSO FEEL LIKE I GAVE, LIKE, WHEN I WAS PLAYING WITH ACTION
FIGURES, I WOULD GIVE THEM AMERICAN ACCENT, AND A LOT OF
YOUR EARLY EXPOSURE TO AMERICAN ACCENT I THINK IS PROBABLY
WESTERNS.
>> Stephen: DID YOU COME UP WITH A COWBOY ACCENT?
DO YOU HAVE A-- >> NO, NOT HAPPENING.
NOT HAPPENING.
>> Stephen: TOO LATE, MAN.
TOO LATE.
HOWDIE, PARTNER.
JUST SAY-- SAY HOYDY PARTNER.
>> SOME DAY I MIGHT WANT TO DO A WESTERNER AND THE DIRECTOR WILL
SAY CAN HE DO AN ACCENT.
I REALIZED THAT ACTION FIGURES SOUNDED RIDICULOUS WITH MY
ACCENT SO YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM COOLER IN AMERICAN.
>> Stephen: YOUR GIRLFRIEND, ERIN DARK, YOU GUYS MET ON SET,
AND SHE'S IN THIS.
IT'S THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE BEEN ON SET TOGETHER IN 10 YEARS.
WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE PERFORMING TOGETHER AGAIN?
>> IT'S LOVELY.
IT'S LIKE WE MET ON SET, AND TO WORK WITH HER AGAIN WAS KIND OF
FLASH YOU BACK TO MEETING AND TO THE WAY WE MET.
AND, LIKE, SEEING EACH OTHER IN THAT WAY AGAIN WAS-- IT WAS JUST
REALLY COOL.
IT FELT LIKE A COUPLE RECREATING THEIR FIRST DATE OR SOMETHING.
IT WAS REALLY-- YEAH, IT WAS LOVELY.
AND SHE'S LOVELY IN THE SHOW.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARY SCENE THIS SEASON.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHERE YOU ARE DANCING.
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: IN A WAY THAT IS NOT ENTIRELY EXPECTED ON THE
OREGON TRAIL.
>> YES, THAT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: AND IT'S GOTTEN A LOT OF ATTENTION.
JIM, CAN YOU GIVE THEM A TASTE OF HIS DANCING?
♪ SHE'LL BE DRIVING SIX WHITE HORSES HAD WHETHER SHE COMES
♪ SHE'LL BY DRIVING SIX WHITE HORSES WHEN SHE COMES
♪ SHE'LL BE DRIVING SIX WHITE HORSES
♪ SHE'LL BE DRIVING SIX WHITE HORSES WHEN SHE COMES ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
IN ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NICELY DONE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: NICELY GONE DONE.
>> IT'S ACTUALLY-- I-- THE LESS CONTEXT PEOPLE HAVE ON THAT CLIP
THE BETTER I FEEL LIKE.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO LEARN THAT DANCE?
>> IT WAS A LONG TIME.
LIKE, I'M NOT SOMEBODY THAT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, GREW UP DANCING.
BUT IF YOU GIVE ME CHOREOGRAPHY AND TIME, I CAN, LIKE, LEARN IT.
AND WE HAD AN AMAZING CHOREOGRAPHER, AND VOGUEING HAD
SPECIFICALLY BEEN ASKED FOR BY THE WRITERS.
YOU HAVE TO ASK THEM WHY.
AND THEN THEY BROUGHT IN A VOGUEING SPECIALIST CALLED
THOMAS MATOS, I THINK IS HIS SURNAME.
AND HE SENT ME ALL THESE VIDOZE.
HE TAUGHT ME THE BABY VERSION OF IT, BECAUSE I CAN'T DO 1% OF 1%
OF WHAT HE DOES.
BUT, YEAH, IT WAS AN INSANE, INCREDIBLY FUN DAY.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU TEMPTED TO BREAK THAT OUT AT A WEDDING SOME
TIME SOON?
>> I DON'T THINK I'LL BE DOING THAT.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS THAT WILL LIVE IN MY MEMORY OF SET
AND ON SCREEN.
BUT I DON'T THINK-- I DON'T THINK I CAN PULL THOSE MOVES OFF
NOT WEARING THAT OUTFIT, YEAH.
>> Stephen: MAKE IT WORK.
MAKE IT WORK.
THIS IS, AS YOU ALREADY KNOW, OF COURSE, BUT THIS IS THE 20th--
THIS YEAR IS THE 20th ANNIVERSARY OF THE HARRY POTTER
FILMS BEING RELEASED.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
AND YOU WERE-- AND YOU WERE 11 WHEN IT STARTED.
AND I'M JUST WONDERING NOW AS YOU LOOK BACK OVER THE LAST 20
YEARS, DO YOU MARVEL AT THE EXTRAORDINARY CAST YOU WERE PART
OF?
YOU KNOW, MAGGIE SMITH AND RICHARD HARRIS ALAN RICKMAN AND
THOSE PEOPLE.
WHAT DID YOU THINK THEN AND WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW?
>> NOW I'M AWARE OF WHO THEY ARE IN A MUCH MORE SIGNIFICANT WAY
THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS NINE OR 10.
YOU KNOW, I MET MAGGIE SMITH WHEN I WAS NINE FOR THE FIRST
TIME.
SHE WAS-- I DID DAVID COPPERFIELD -- DAVID
COPPERFIELD, ONE PERSON, TWO PEOPLE.
DON'T ALL JOIN IN NOW, BUT THANK YOU.
BUT MAGGIE WAS THE PERSON THAT, LIKE, RECOMMENDED ME FOR POTTER,
SO SHE'S THE REASON I ENDED UP DOING THAT.
I MET HER WHEN I WAS NINE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHO SHE WAS.
MY PARENTS WERE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE WORKING WITH MAGGIE
SMITH, THAT'S HUGE."
I WASN'T A "MISS JEAN BRAUDE" FAN AT NINE AND DIDN'T KNOW WHO
SHE WAS.
I MET HER WITHOUT ANY EMBARRASSMENT.
I KNEW SHE WAS A DAME.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU DAME" WERE THE FIRST WORDS OUT
OF MY MOUTH.
AND SHE WAS IMMEDIATELY CHARMED AND SAID, "DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
JUST CALL ME MAGGIE."
IT'S HARD TO BE-- AT THE TIME I WASN'T STAR STRUCK BY ANY OF
THOSE PEOPLE.
THE FIRST PERSON I REMEMBER BEING STAR TRUCK BY WAS GARY
OLDMAN, BAWLINGS IT WAS THE AGE I KNEW WHO HE WAS AND GETTING
MORE SERIOUS ABOUT ACTING MYSELF.
BEFORE THAT, WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE AS A NINE-YEAR-OLD IT'S
SORT OF HARD TO GAIN STAR STRUCKNESS OF THEM LATER ON.
>> Stephen: WHICH IS GREAT.
>> WHICH IS NICE.
>> Stephen: WELL, I'M TRYING NOT TO BE STAR STRUCK BY YOU
RIGHT NOW, BUT THAT DANCING DIDN'T HELP.
>> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: DANIEL SUFFICIENCY LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: PLEASE COME BACK OFTEN SO WE CAN TAKE FACE TO
FACE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: NEW EPISODES OF "MIRACLE WORKERS" AIR TUESDAYS
ON TBS.
DANIEL RADCLIFFE, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK!
TO "THE LATE SHOW."
FOLKS, IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, YOU'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME DURING THIS
PANDEMIC WATCHING TV.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, THERE'S A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE YOU'RE DOING
IT RIGHT NOW AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS
OVER THIS LAST YEAR WAS NETFLIX'S "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT,"
( APPLAUSE ) CLEARLY, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE
WHO HAS LOVED THE "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT," BECAUSE IT'S CURRENTLY
UP FOR 18 EMMYS, WHICH MEANS-- WHICH MEANS, THEY COULD SOON
HAVE ENOUGH TROPHIES TO PLAY CHESS WITH.
NOT ONLY THAT, THE SHOW HAS INSPIRED A RENEWED INTEREST IN
CLASSIC GAMES THAT HAS EVEN LED TO PLANS FOR A MOVIE BASED ON
THE RUBICK'S CUBE.
I WAS SO INSPIRED BY THE IDEA OF CREATING ENTERTAINMENT ON A
SQUARE COVERED IN STICKERS, EARLY THIS YEAR, I RELEASED A
TRAILER FOR MY VERY OWN PRESTIGE STREAMING SERIES BASED ON THE
RUBICK'S CUBE.
AND TONIGHT I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU FOR THE FIRST
TIME WITH A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
JIM.
♪ ♪ ♪ THE WORLD OF COMPETITIVE
RUBICK'S CUBING IS A MAN'S WORLD, USUALLY A YOUNG MAN--
CHILDREN, REALLY.
>> NOT ANYMORE.
I WASN'T JUST HANDED MY SEAT.
I HAD TO OVERCOME SO MUCH.
SEXISM, A SPRAINED WRIST, TEMPORARY COLOR BLINDNESS.
>> YOU MAY BE THE GREATEST NATURAL TALENT I'VE EVER SEEN,
BUT YOU MUST MASTER THE OPENING MOVE KNOWN ONLY TO DISTINGUISHED
PLAYERS.
IT'S CALLED "TURN THE LEFT, BOTTOM, MIDDLE FORWARD TO THE
FRONT-FACING PART."
IT'S NOT LIKE CHESS.
WE DON'T GET TO HAVE COOL NAMES FOR THINGS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> IT MAY BE JUST A BLOCK COVERED IN LITTLE STICKERS TO
YOU, BUT TO ME, IT'S THE ENTIRE WORLD!
OH, ALSO DRUGS.
I DO TONS OF DRUGS ( CRYING )
YOU DON'T KNOW ME!
>> TURN THE LEFT BOTTOM MIDDLE SIDEWAYS TOWARDS THE
FRONT-FACING PART."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH A PERFORMANCE BY "DAN + SHAY."
PERFORMING "YOU" FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM, "GOOD THINGS," DAN +
SHAY.
♪ OOH, OOH BABY,
♪ STANDIN' HERE WITH YOU WITH YOUR ARMS AROUND MY
♪ SHOULDERS WE'RE DANCIN' WITH THE MOON
♪ AND BABY, IT FEELS JUST LIKE A DREAM
♪ WHEN I WHISPER THAT I LOVE YOU AND YOU SAY IT BACK TO ME
♪ I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS
♪ IN THE SUN OF SUNDAY MORNING OR THE POURING RAIN
♪ I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
♪ AND IF ALL ELSE GOES WRONG, BABY I'LL BE ALRIGHT
♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU
♪ YOU AND ONLY YOU I GOT YOU, YOU, AND ONLY
♪ YOU YOU AND ONLY YOU BABY,
♪ LOOKIN' IN YOUR EYES IT'S LIKE WE'RE IN SLOW MOTION,
♪ JUST YOU AND ME TONIGHT AND BABY,
♪ YOU LEAN IN FOR A KISS AND I KNOW,
♪ AND I KNOW, AND I KNOW
♪ THAT IT DON'T BETTER THAN THIS 'CAUSE I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH
♪ FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS IN THE SUN OF SUNDAY MORNING
♪ OR THE POURING RAIN I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH
♪ FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND IF ALL ELSE GOES WRONG,
♪ BABY I'LL BE ALRIGHT 'CAUSE I GOT YOU
♪ YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU YOU AND ONLY YOU
♪ I GOT YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU YOU AND ONLY YOU
♪ I GOT FOREVER AND I GOT ALL I'LL EVER NEED
♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH, OOH I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH
(YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU) ♪ FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS IN THE
SUN OF SUNDAY MORNING OR THE ♪ POURING RAIN
♪ I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH ♪ FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
♪ AND IF ALL ELSE GOES WRONG, BABY I'LL BE ALRIGHT
♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU
♪ YOU AND ONLY YOU I GOT YOU,
♪ YOU, AND ONLY YOU YOU AND ONLY YOU
♪ BABY, I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU
♪ YOU AND ONLY YOU OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ YOU AND ONLY YOU
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: CHECK THEM OUT ON
TOUR THIS FALL.
DAN + SHAY, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE SEAN PENN AND DYLAN
PENN.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ GO GREASED LIGHTNING
BURNING DOWN THE QUARTER MILE ♪ GREASED