1 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:04,137 >> A ROMANCE NOVEL COVER MODEL HAS BEEN CHARGED IN THE U.S. 2 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:05,872 CAPITOL RIOTS. 3 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:09,976 LOGAN BARNHART ATTENDED THE RALLY ON JULY 6 AND WAS A PRIME 4 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,512 TARGET BY THE F.B.I. FOR HIS ROLE IN THE ATTACK. 5 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:18,017 PHOTOS OF A SHIRTLESS BARNHART HAVE GRACED THE COVER OF ROMANCE 6 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:21,588 NOVELS WITH NAMES LIKE "STEPBROTHER UNSEALED," A BAD- 7 00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:24,691 BOY MILITARY ROMANCE; AND "LIGHTER," WHICH EVEN INCLUDED 8 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:30,463 THE SLOGAN, "WRONG NEVER FELT SO RIGHT." 9 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,965 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> ARE YOU A FAN OF ROMANCE AND 10 00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:33,733 ALSO INTO DESTROYING DEMOCRACY? 11 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,970 HARLEQUIN ROMANCE IS PROUD TO PRESENT "THE INSURRECTION 12 00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:43,977 COLLECTION," SULTRY TALES OF AMOUR AND DOMESTIC TERRORISM. 13 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:46,780 EACH NOVEL WILL SET YOUR HEART AND THEN THE U.S. CAPITOL 14 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:49,983 AFLAME. 15 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:54,988 SWOON OVER TITLES LIKE "STOLEN ERECTION," "THE WELL-HUNG VICE 16 00:00:55,054 --> 00:01:02,162 PRESIDENT," "PROUD BOY-TOY," "STOLEN KISSES AND PODIUMS," 17 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:08,034 "Q-AMOUR-ANON," AND, OF COURSE, "SE-DEUCE SMEARED ON THE WALLS." 18 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,003 THE HARLEQUIN INSURRECTION COLLECTION. 19 00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:12,238 IF THESE ROMANCE NOVELS ARE WRONG, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALL 20 00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:13,740 RIGHT. 21 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,945 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 22 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:24,951 TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: 23 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:29,255 DANIEL RADCLIFFE AND MUSICAL GUEST DAN + SHAY 24 00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:33,960 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 25 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:39,933 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 26 00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:40,834 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 27 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:50,043 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:50,109 --> 00:02:05,024 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 29 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:07,861 >> Jon: YEAH! 30 00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:10,597 >> Audience: STEPHEN! 31 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:11,131 STEPHEN! 32 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:11,998 STEPHEN! 33 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:17,504 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME, 34 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,640 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO "THE LATE SHOW." 35 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,375 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 36 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:25,912 ALL WEEK-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 37 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,682 IF YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW, YOU KNOW ALL WEEK I'VE 38 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:33,586 BEEN TALKING ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN AFGHANISTAN. 39 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,188 IT'S A COMEDY GOLD MINE-- IN THAT TRYING TO DO JOKES ABOUT 40 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,456 IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE TRAPPED DEEP UNDERGROUND WITHOUT 41 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:39,425 ENOUGH OXYGEN. 42 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:43,396 BUT TODAY, ALL THE NEWS FROM THERE IS "WAIT AND SEE." 43 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,832 SO I, TOO, AM GOING TO WAIT, AND SEE WHAT ELSE THERE IS TO TALK 44 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,868 ABOUT-- YOU KNOW, LIGHTER NEWS, LIKE THE DELTA VARIANT. 45 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:52,705 ( LAUGHTER ) SPEAKING OF WHICH, WE'RE GETTING 46 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:53,973 REINFORCEMENTS TO FIGHT IT. 47 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,676 TODAY, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION ANNOUNCED BOOSTER SHOTS WILL BE 48 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,279 OFFERED TO AMERICANS BEGINNING SEPTEMBER 20. 49 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:04,384 OF COURSE-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 50 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,319 THE VAX MAN'S HERE. 51 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:16,396 OF COURSE, NOT ALL AMERICANS ARE IN FAVOR OF EVEN ONE VACCINE. 52 00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:18,598 IN SAN DIEGO, A BUNCH OF THESE FOLKS, CAME OUT TO PROTEST 53 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,772 VACCINE MANDATES AT A BOARD OF SUPERVISORS MEETING-- AND BUCKLE 54 00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:26,973 YOUR BRAIN: >> WE SHOULD NOT BE SPENDING OUR 55 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,741 TIME HERE AND OUR LIFE FORCE ENERGY FIGHTING PEOPLE WHO LACK 56 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,910 CRITICAL THINKING AND COMMON SENSE, YET WANT TO PUSH A 57 00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:31,544 VACCINE ON US. 58 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:32,745 YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? 59 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,248 SATURN IS IN THE SAME POSITION AS IT WAS DURING THE AMERICAN 60 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:40,787 REVOLUTION OF 1776, AND YOU ARE THE REDCOATS. 61 00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:42,922 >> Stephen: THAT IS CRAZY! 62 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:48,294 ( LAUGHTER ) THAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING I 63 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:55,268 HAVE EVER SEEN OR HEARD. 64 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,070 SATURN IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. 65 00:03:57,136 --> 00:03:57,904 MARS IS. 66 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:01,541 THINK ABOUT IT: RED COATS, RED PLANET. 67 00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,876 IF YOU DON'T GET THAT, YOU'RE CLEARLY A LIBRA. 68 00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:10,383 ( LAUGHTER ) THIS GUY'S MESSAGE CHANGED SOME 69 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,150 HEARTS AND MINDS... 70 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:12,552 AND LOINS. 71 00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:15,622 >> TO THE MEN THAT HAVE SHOWN UP, OH THAT'S BEEN SUPER HOT. 72 00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,957 I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO GET UP HERE AND JUST 73 00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:18,391 ROAR LIKE A LION. 74 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,026 THAT'S AWESOME. 75 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,929 >> Stephen: RROWRR! 76 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,864 ( LAUGHTER ) YOU GET IT, GIRL! 77 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:28,101 YOU CAN CATCH HER IN THE NEW REALITY DATING SHOW: 78 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,136 "THE ANTI-VAX-LORETTE." 79 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:35,174 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 80 00:04:35,241 --> 00:04:36,609 "RYAN, WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS PATHOGEN?" 81 00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:40,680 ( COUGHS ) ANOTHER ANTI-VAXXER WHO SPOKE 82 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:41,581 PROVED THAT SHE'S NOT A THREAT TO SOCIETY. 83 00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:42,749 SHE'S A TRIPLE THREAT TO SOCIETY. 84 00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:47,220 >> I GOT A QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS. 85 00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:51,224 ♪ DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? 86 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:55,094 SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN ♪ IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE 87 00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:57,964 WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN ♪ HEY, THAT WAS OFF THE CUFF. 88 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,499 I DIDN'T EVEN PLAN TO DO THAT. 89 00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:03,903 I DON'T EVEN SING. 90 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:04,337 >> Stephen: "OH, NO. 91 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,905 WHAT HAPPENED? 92 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,073 DID I BREAK OUT WITH A BROADWAY SHOW TUNE? 93 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:13,079 DON'T WORRY, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO-- 94 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,081 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE A JET YOU'RE A JET ALL THE WAY, 95 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,016 ♪ FROM YOUR FIRST CIGARETTE TO YOUR LAST DYIN' DAY! ♪ 96 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:24,991 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) COOL BOY! 97 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:25,558 CRAZY BOY! 98 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:29,228 EASY ACTION! 99 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:33,833 ♪ MORE THAN A WOMAN TO ME ♪ BUT THE ABSOLUTE BELLE OF THE 100 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,736 CRAZYBALLS WAS A MAN NAMED MATT BAKER, WHO OPENED HIS SPEECH 101 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:51,384 LIKE THIS: ( WHISTLES ) 102 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,386 >> THAT'S THE WIND. 103 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:57,023 THAT'S THE WIND OF TIME. 104 00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,993 THAT'S THE WIND OF HISTORY. 105 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:05,031 >> Stephen: OKAY, BLOB MARLEY ( LAUGHTER ) 106 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:08,434 PRETTY SURE THAT'S THE WIND OF "YOU TRIED TO WHISTLE AND THEN 107 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,002 REALIZED YOU COULDN'T AND PRETENDED YOU WERE IMITATING THE 108 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,637 WIND." 109 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:16,976 "YOU GUYS KNOW THE THEME SONG TO 'ANDY GRIFFITH'THEME SONG? 110 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:20,079 ( TRYING TO WHISTLE ) THAT'S THE WIND BLOWING THROUGH 111 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,048 THE BONES OF FLOYD THE BARBER." 112 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:26,652 ( LAUGHTER ) ONCE THE WIND DIED DOWN, MATT'S 113 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:32,091 SPEECH GOT PRETTY INTENSE. 114 00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:35,261 >> YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL BE 115 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:39,065 SUBJUGATED! 116 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,900 THEY WILL BE ASKED, "HOW MANY VACCINES HAVE YOU HAD? 117 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,970 HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD LITTLE NAZI?" 118 00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:44,737 HEIL FAUCI! 119 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:45,972 HEIL FAUCI! 120 00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:53,079 HEIL FAUCI! 121 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:56,382 ( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER ) 122 00:06:56,449 --> 00:07:10,062 ( APPLAUSE ) ( LAUGHTER ) 123 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:19,071 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING ) 124 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,274 >> Stephen: I MISS THE WHISTLING. 125 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:25,511 ( LAUGHTER ) OKAY A LITTLE ADVICE: 126 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,280 I CAN SEE YOU'RE PASSIONATE. 127 00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:28,648 THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU. 128 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,083 BUT I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU OF THE PHRASE, "YOU CATCH MORE 129 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:35,254 FLIES WITH HONEY THAN YOU DO WITH CRYSTAL METH." 130 00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:39,058 ( LAUGHTER ) POINT IS, THEY TILTED THE 131 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:47,266 COUNTRY, AND ALL THE NUTS ROLLED TO CALIFORNIA, RIGHT? 132 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:51,838 ( WHISPERING ) I'M SO WORRIED FOR OUR COUNTRY, 133 00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:55,341 BECAUSE ONE OF THESE MANIACS ONE OF THESE MANIACS, 134 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,076 COULD BECOME THE NEXT GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA. 135 00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,079 AS WE SPEAK, GOLDEN STATERS ARE DECIDING WHETHER TO RECALL 136 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:04,283 CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR GAVIN NEWSOM, SEEN HERE YELLING, 137 00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:09,722 "BRING ME MORE POMADE!" NEWSOM IS RELATIVELY POPULAR, 138 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:17,396 WITH A 57% APPROVAL RATING, BUT THAT MIGHT NOT SAVE HIM. 139 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:21,567 YOU SEE, RECALL ELECTIONS ARE NOTORIOUSLY LOW TURNOUT, AND THE 140 00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:23,269 RULES ARE REALLY STRANGE. 141 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,204 IF NEWSOM GETS 50% OR MORE OF THE VOTES, HE STAYS IN OFFICE, 142 00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:29,609 BUT IF HE GETS 49%, THE NEW GOVERNOR WILL BE WHOEVER AMONG 143 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:35,214 HIS 46 CHALLENGERS GETS THE MOST VOTES, EVEN IF NO RIVAL GETS A 144 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:36,215 MAJORITY. 145 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,650 SO WHO COULD BE THE NEXT GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA? 146 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:41,554 ACCORDING TO ONE POLL, THE FRONTRUNNER IS 29-YEAR-OLD 147 00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:44,357 YOUTUBE INFLUENCER KEVIN PAFFRATH. 148 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:45,458 ( AS YOUTUBER ) "WHAT UP, CALI? 149 00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:47,560 WHAT KIND OF POLICIES DO YOU WANNA SEE ME ENACT? 150 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,462 HIT ME UP IN THE COMMENTS! 151 00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:51,564 LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE! 152 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:56,302 BYEEE!" ( LAUGHTER ) 153 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,671 PAFFRATH IS A DEMOCRAT, BUT LAST NIGHT, THERE WAS A REPUBLICAN 154 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:02,909 DEBATE, WHICH FEATURED AN INTERESTING MOMENT FOR FORMER 155 00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:08,014 GUBERNATORIAL NOMINEE AND MAN WHO'S SOMEHOW WHITER THAN HIS 156 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,015 SHIRT, JOHN COX. 157 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,149 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DEBATE, COX WAS INTERRUPTED: 158 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:14,720 >> I WANT TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT FIRST TO MY FELLOW-- 159 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:17,757 >> JOHN COX, YOU'VE BEEN SERVED, SAN DIEGO SUPERIOR COURT. 160 00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:28,668 >> Stephen: HE WAS SERVED LEGAL PAPERS WHILE HE WAS DEBATING. 161 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:31,771 IT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING DELIVERY-- 162 00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:38,577 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING 163 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,279 DELIVERY IN A DEBATE SINCE ABRAHAM LINCOLN ORDERED TAKEOUT. 164 00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:42,014 ( AS PIZZA DELIVERY GUY ) "UH, ABE? 165 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:49,055 GOT A PIZZA FOR ABE LINCOLN, AND CRAZY BREAD FOR MARY?" 166 00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:52,458 REALLY? 167 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:52,925 REALLY! 168 00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:53,326 MARY LINCOLN FANS. 169 00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:53,960 I DIDN'T KNOW. 170 00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,428 I'M SORRY. 171 00:09:55,494 --> 00:10:01,133 ( LAUGHTER ) IN OTHER RIGHT-WING NUT-JOB 172 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,401 NEWS, THE FEDS ARE STILL IN HOT PURSUIT OF THE INSURRECTIONISTS 173 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:03,636 OF JANUARY 6. 174 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,804 AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IN TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP 175 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:08,407 ROUNDUP." 176 00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:17,416 >> THEY'VE DONE INCOW-CULABLE DAMAGE TO DE-MOOOO-CRACY! 177 00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,285 >> Stephen: FIRST UP IN THE CORRECTIONAL CORRAL: MICHIGAN 178 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,187 RESIDENT AND ROID-RAGE UNABOMBER, LOGAN BARNHART. 179 00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:25,391 BARNHART WAS CAUGHT ON VIDEO BEATING A CAPITOL POLICEMAN. 180 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,027 BUT IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME HE'S BEEN ON CAMERA, BECAUSE HE'S 181 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:31,597 ALSO APPEARED SHIRTLESS ON THE COVER OF ROMANCE NOVELS. 182 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:39,038 IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN THE SHAH OF IRAN WAS OVERTHROWN BY FABIO. 183 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,273 INVESTIGATORS WERE HELPED BY BARNHART'S HUGE PRESENCE ONLINE, 184 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:44,243 WHERE HE POSTS NUMEROUS VIDEOS OF HIMSELF WORKING OUT AND 185 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:53,552 MODELING ON THE BOOK COVERS OF RAUNCHY NOVELS LIKE "STEPBROTHER 186 00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:55,221 UNSEALED," A BAD BOY MILITARY ROMANCE." 187 00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:56,956 "CRASH AND BURN: A SIN AND TONIC NOVEL." 188 00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:58,257 AND "LIGHTER"-- NAMED AFTER WHAT HE'S GOING TO BEG THE JUDGE TO 189 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,626 MAKE HIS SENTENCE. 190 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,895 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 191 00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:05,898 NEXT AT THE INSURR-RODEO, CAPITOL RIOTER MICHAEL AARON 192 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:09,068 CARICO, SEEN HERE MODELING FOR... 193 00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,270 CHIQUITA BANANA? 194 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,739 ( LAUGHTER ) CARICO WAS ARRESTED AND CHARGED 195 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:15,908 WITH SEVERAL COUNTS RELATED TO THE RIOT, THANKS TO VIDEO 196 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:19,979 EVIDENCE OF HIM IN A CROWD SINGING THE WORDS "THE LAND OF 197 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:23,282 THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE" FROM "THE STAR-SPANGLED 198 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,619 BANNER," THEN LOOKING AT A CAMERA AND SAYING, "HEY 199 00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:29,688 NANCY, GO (BLEEP) YOURSELF." 200 00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,824 OKAY, THAT'S AN INTERESTING CHOICE. 201 00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,426 NORMALLY, PEOPLE JUST YELL "PLAY BALL!" 202 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:36,462 BUT TRYING TO OVERTHROW AN ELECTED GOVERNMENT IS JUST 203 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:44,270 CARICO'S DAY JOB, BECAUSE HE'S ALSO WORKING AS AN ACTOR 204 00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,905 WHO EVEN HAS A PAGE ON IMDB. 205 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:49,075 FOR PEOPLE TRYING TO EVADE THE LAW, IMDB STANDS FOR 206 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:50,109 "I AM DUMB." 207 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:55,948 ( LAUGHTER ) ACCORDING TO HIS PAGE, CARICO'S 208 00:11:56,015 --> 00:12:02,388 LATEST ROLE IS BRAD, IN THE UPCOMING FILM, "CHRISTMAS DOWN 209 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,123 UNDER." 210 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,591 MAYBE HE'LL SPEND CHRISTMAS DOWN UNDER, OR MAYBE HE'LL END UP 211 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,892 WITH THE TOP BUNK. 212 00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:10,196 FINALLY ON THE "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP ROUNDUP," WE TURN TO 213 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:13,966 EDUARD FLOREA, SEEN HERE IN A SOCIAL MEDIA POST SPONSORED BY 214 00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,901 COCA-COLA. 215 00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:19,972 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 216 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:23,242 TECHNICALLY-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 217 00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,944 >> Jon: A REALLY GOOD ONE. 218 00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:29,215 I REALLY LIKE THAT. 219 00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:31,250 >> Stephen: TECHNICALLY, FLOREA DIDN'T ACTUALLY GO TO THE 220 00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,384 CAPITOL ON JANUARY 6. 221 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:34,620 HE ENCOURAGED THE RIOTERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 222 00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:37,890 BUT THIS YEAR, EVERYONE'S BEEN WORKING REMOTELY. 223 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:40,493 ( LAUGHTER ) FLOREA HAS BEEN ARRESTED AND 224 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:44,330 PLED GUILTY FOR MAKING THREATS ONLINE AGAINST GEORGIA SENATOR 225 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,331 RAPHAEL WARNOCK. 226 00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:49,034 BUT HE WASN'T EVEN VERY GOOD AT BEING VERY BAD. 227 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:53,205 ON THE FAR-RIGHT SITE PARLER, HE POSTED, "WARNOCK IS GOING TO 228 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:57,076 HAVE A HARD TIME CASTING VOTES FOR COMMUNIST POLICIES WHEN 229 00:12:57,143 --> 00:13:00,412 HE'S SWINGING WITH THE (BLEEP) FISH." 230 00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:06,619 WHICH IS A HORRIBLE THREAT-- AND A HORRIBLE MISQUOTING OF THE 231 00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:07,786 GODFATHER. 232 00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:10,990 ( AS DON CORLEONE ) "I'M GONNA MAKE HIM AN OMELET HE 233 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:14,059 CAN'T REFUSE... " WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 234 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,028 TONIGHT. 235 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:16,795 MY GUEST IS DANIEL RADCLIFFE. 236 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,697 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!" 237 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:06,912 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, "WELCOME BACK! 238 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:14,987 WON'T YOU SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 239 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:20,492 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU ALL RIGHT THE? 240 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:21,760 >> Jon: WOOO! 241 00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:23,295 >> Stephen: YOU ALL RIGHT? 242 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,863 >> Jon: WOOO! 243 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,065 OH, MY GOODNESS! 244 00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:27,399 >> Stephen: YOU ALL RIGHT? 245 00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:28,968 YOU ALL RIGHT? 246 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:33,572 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU-- YOU-- SAVE SOME ENERGY FOR 247 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:34,073 THIS WEEKEND. 248 00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,307 >> Jon: OH, YEAH. 249 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,210 >> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TO BE PERFORMING IT'S IN THE "WELCOME 250 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:39,411 BACK NEW YORK" CONCERT. 251 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:41,347 WHAT'S IT CALLED AGAIN? 252 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:42,147 WHAT'S IT CALLED? 253 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,282 IT'S THIS SATURDAY IN CENTRAL PARK. 254 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:46,552 IT'S A PLETHORA OF MUSICAL STARS OUT THERE. 255 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:50,623 DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO-- I WILL BE THERE BY THE WAY. 256 00:14:50,689 --> 00:14:52,224 I WILL BE THERE AND I WILL SEE YOU. 257 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:55,261 >> Jon: I HEARD YOU MIGHT BE SINGING A SONG. 258 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:56,795 >> Stephen: WHAT? 259 00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,497 >> Jon: YEAH. 260 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,566 >> Stephen: ♪ MORE THAN A WOMAN TO ME ♪ 261 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,401 >> Jon: YEAH, COME ON! 262 00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:05,271 >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT SONG I MIGHT BE 263 00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:06,305 SINGING? 264 00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:07,339 BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 265 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:10,009 >> Jon: WELL, I'LL SEE YOU THERE AND WE'LL FIND OUT 266 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:10,843 TOGETHER. 267 00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:11,810 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S A DEAL. 268 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:12,411 THAT'S A DEAL. 269 00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,313 YOU AND I WILL IMPROVISE. 270 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:14,980 WE'LL SCAT. 271 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:19,385 OKAY. 272 00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:20,919 FOLKS, YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO STICK AROUND A LITTLE BIT LATER, 273 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,822 BECAUSE AMERICA'S BRITISH SWEETHEART, DANIEL RADCLIFFE IS 274 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:24,723 HERE. 275 00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,259 HE'S GOING TO BE RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE. 276 00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,628 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 277 00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:30,729 ALWAYS-- ALWAYS A DELIGHT. 278 00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:37,369 ALWAYS A DELIGHT. 279 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:42,641 >> Stephen: AND, YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME 280 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,076 OVER THERE, CAREFULLY HARVESTING THE HIGHEST-QUALITY ORGANIC ACAI 281 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,078 NEWS BERRIES, PUTTING THEM INTO MY CURRENT EVENTS BLENDER, THEN 282 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:48,180 PULSING ON HIGH UNTIL THEY'VE BECOME A SMOOTH PURPLE PUREE OF 283 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:52,918 STORIES TO BE PILED WITH GRANOLA, CHIA SEEDS, AND SLICED 284 00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,754 JOKE BANANAS, TO MAKE THE HIGH-PRICED, ARTISANAL SMOOTHIE 285 00:15:55,821 --> 00:16:03,529 BOWL OF NEWS THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. 286 00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:06,665 BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES FOLKS, I LIKE TO SCROUNGE 287 00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:09,101 TOGETHER SOME EXPIRED KALE FROM THE BACK OF THE FRIDGE, MIX IT 288 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,769 WITH THE FERMENTING ORANGE SLICES LEFT IN THE BACK SEAT 289 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:12,371 AFTER LAST WEEK'S LITTLE LEAGUE GAME, AND AN APPLE CORE I FOUND 290 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:13,639 INSIDE A COFFEE CUP, THEN PULVERIZE IT ALL IN A LEAKY 291 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,540 NUTRI-BULLET TO MAKE THE PRISON TOILET GREEN JUICE OF NEWS THAT 292 00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:24,917 IS MY SEGMENT: "MEANWHILE!" 293 00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:26,919 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) A GIFT. 294 00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:33,926 A GIFT FROM THE LORD IS WHAT THIS IS. 295 00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:37,930 MEANWHILE, A NEW STUDY HAS FOUND THAT, UNLIKE ANIMALS LIKE DOGS, 296 00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:42,534 "CATS PREFER TO GET FREE MEALS OVER WORKING FOR THEIR FOOD." 297 00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:43,869 WAIT! 298 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,104 DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT AN ANIMAL THAT SLEEPS 23 HOURS AND 299 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,006 56 MINUTES A DAY WOULD RATHER NOT WORK? 300 00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:51,009 ( LAUGHTER ) RESEARCHERS CAME TO THIS 301 00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:54,113 CONCLUSION AFTER THEY PRESENTED FELINES WITH AN EASILY 302 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:57,716 ACCESSIBLE TRAY OF FOOD AND A SIMPLE-TO-SOLVE FOOD PUZZLE, AND 303 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,352 MOST OF THE CATS OPTED FOR THE TRAY. 304 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:03,756 WHILE THE REST OF THE CATS OPTED FOR THEIR BUTT. 305 00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:08,427 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, IN ROYAL CONFECTION 306 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:14,233 NEWS, A SLICE OF CHARLES AND DIANA'S 1981 WEDDING CAKE HAS 307 00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:17,669 SOLD AT AUCTION FOR OVER $2,500. 308 00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:22,674 NOW, THAT'S A HEFTY PRICE TAG, BUT THERE IS NO BETTER GIFT IF 309 00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:26,311 YOU WANT TO TELL THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE, "THIS IS ALL A SHAM, 310 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,013 AND I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE." 311 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:32,451 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, ACCORDING TO A NEW 312 00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:34,720 STUDY, CONTRARY TO CONVENTIONAL WISDOM, METABOLISM DOESN'T SLOW 313 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,155 DOWN IN MIDDLE AGE. 314 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:40,426 HOWEVER, ACCORDING TO FIELD RESEARCH CONDUCTED BY A RENOWNED 315 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,961 MIDDLE-AGED TALK SHOW HOST, "YES IT DOES." 316 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:48,000 ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 317 00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:58,210 ♪ ♪ ♪ MEANWHILE, IN WEIRD COMBO NEWS, 318 00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:01,513 DOLLY PARTON IS SET TO RELEASE HER FIRST NOVEL WITH BESTSELLING 319 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,683 AUTHOR JAMES PATTERSON-- HOPEFULLY MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN 320 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,486 THEIR ALBUM OF DUETS: "ONLY ONE OF US CAN SING." 321 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:12,024 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, IHOP IS ADDING 322 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:15,694 ALCOHOL TO THE MENU. 323 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,463 ( AUDIENCE REACTS ). 324 00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:18,864 >> Jon: OH, NO. 325 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:22,167 >> Stephen: OH, YOU APPLAUD NOW. 326 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:30,075 BUT WAIT UNTIL IT'S COMBINED WITH THEIR NEW BREAKFAST 327 00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:30,742 SPECIAL, THE 328 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:32,678 ROOKY TOOKY SLOSHED AND PUKEY. 329 00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:33,278 STILL SOUNDS GOOD. 330 00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:37,583 THERE ARE NO BAD PANCAKES. 331 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:39,218 MEANWHILE, IN MEMORY IMPROVEMENT NEWS, FECAL TRANSPLANTS MAY 332 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,620 REVERSE BRAIN AGING IN MICE. 333 00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:46,225 UNFORTUNATELY, THOSE MICE WILL NOW ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THEY 334 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,226 GOT A FECAL TRANSPLANT. 335 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,696 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, EARLIER THIS WEEK, 336 00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:53,599 A TRUCK CARRYING JACK DANIEL'S BOTTLES CRASHED IN COLUMBUS, 337 00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:54,733 OHIO. 338 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,668 FIRST RESPONDERS RUSHED TO THE SCENE WITH BITTERS, ORANGE 339 00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,170 PEELS, AND MARASCHINO CHERRIES. 340 00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:02,241 ( LAUGHTER ) A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE STATE'S 341 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,077 DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION SAID THE BOTTLES WERE EMPTY AT 342 00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:08,213 THE TIME OF THE CRASH. 343 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,884 AND THE DRIVER ADDED, "YES... 344 00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:14,720 THEY WERE ALL EMPTY BEFORE THE TRASH..." 345 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:18,724 MEANWHILE, APPARENTLY THERE ARE A "'HORRIFYING' NUMBER OF 346 00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:22,227 SYPHILIS INFECTIONS IN ALBERTA." 347 00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:25,097 WHAT IS "UP," ALBERTA?! 348 00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:26,365 AND WATCH OUT, SASKATCHEWAN. 349 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,300 YOU KEEP RUBBING UP AGAINST THAT, AND YOU MIGHT GET AN 350 00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,769 INFECTION IN YOUR REGINA. 351 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,840 ( LAUGHTER ) IT SEEMS LIKE THE PRAIRIE POX 352 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:38,744 MAY BE RUNNING RAMPANT BECAUSE OF "THE POPULARITY OF SOCIAL 353 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:41,780 MEDIA APPS BEING USED FOR DATING," AND "PEOPLE MAY ALSO BE 354 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,649 TAKING FEWER PRECAUTIONS AND USING CONDOMS LESS FREQUENTLY." 355 00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:47,419 THIS, DESPITE CANADA'S NATIONWIDE SEXUAL HEALTH 356 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:49,888 CAMPAIGN: "MANSLUT THE MOOSE SAYS: PUT A TOQUE ON YOUR HOCKEY 357 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:53,759 STICK, EH?" ( LAUGHTER ) 358 00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:55,827 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DANIEL RADCLIFFE. 359 00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:24,957 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HELLO. 360 00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:28,961 YOU KNOW MY GUEST TONIGHT FROM FILMS LIKE "SWISS ARMY MAN," 361 00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:31,830 "KILL YOUR DARLINGS," AND A LITTLE INDIE FEATURE CALLED "THE 362 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,232 EIGHT HARRY POTTER MOVIES." 363 00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:37,903 HE NOW STARS IN "MIRACLE WORKERS: OREGON TRAIL." 364 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:43,542 >> AS EACH NEW DAY PUMMELS US WITH A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS 365 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:46,578 ONSLAUGHT OF FRESH HORRORS WE MUST NOT LOSE FAITH. 366 00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:48,680 AFTER ALL, THIS IS AMERICA! 367 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:52,217 WHERE OPPORTUNITY AWAITS AROUND EVERY CORNER. 368 00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,019 CAN I GET AN "AMEN." 369 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,253 >> AMEN. 370 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,622 >> AAAH. 371 00:20:56,688 --> 00:21:02,394 >> YEAH, JUST PUT HER IN THE COFFIN, TOO, THEY'RE BOTH PRETTY 372 00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:03,095 SMALL. 373 00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:07,666 WE WILL TAKE THIS FROM THE TOP. 374 00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,101 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," DANIEL 375 00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:11,436 RADCLIFFE! 376 00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:22,614 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 377 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:37,095 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 378 00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:38,897 >> Stephen: IT'S-- IT'S-- >> HEY, MAN. 379 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,432 >> Stephen: IT'S LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 380 00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:42,200 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 381 00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:42,801 >> GREAT. 382 00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:43,869 THERE ARE SO MANY OF YOU! 383 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:47,339 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S VERY EXCITING. 384 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:48,573 >> Stephen: ISN'T IT STRANGE? 385 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:54,413 >> THIS IS, LIKE, THE FIRST BIT OF IN-FRONT OF-PEOPLE PRESS I 386 00:21:54,479 --> 00:22:00,085 HAVE DONE, SO I'M SORRY IF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS 387 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:00,652 ANYMORE. 388 00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:01,586 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 389 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:02,320 IT'S VERY COOL TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS AGAIN. 390 00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,822 THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU, TOO. 391 00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:05,057 WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET. 392 00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:09,361 >> Stephen: AND IT IS ALREADY GOING MUCH BETTER THAN THE LAST 393 00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:10,262 TIME WE SPOKE. 394 00:22:10,328 --> 00:22:13,899 >> I THINK YOU'RE BEING HARD ON YOURSELF. 395 00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,033 >> Stephen: TECHNICALLY BETTER. 396 00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:18,136 >> I WALKED OUT, AND WE'RE TALKING, AND IT HAPPENED VERY 397 00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:19,371 QUICKLY. 398 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:20,972 >> Stephen: TO EXPLAIN TO THE PEOPLE WHO MAY NOT HAVE SEEN IT. 399 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:24,710 IN MARCH OF 2020, WHEN WE HAD TO BUG OUT OF HERE AND I WENT TO 400 00:22:24,776 --> 00:22:26,445 SOUTH CAROLINA TO DO THE SHOW FOR FIVE MONTHS. 401 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:29,548 YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I INTERVIEWED. 402 00:22:29,614 --> 00:22:31,817 YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I ACTUALLY SPOKE TO. 403 00:22:31,883 --> 00:22:34,453 AND WE HAD SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES THAT WERE ACTUALLY 404 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,289 NOTICED BY THE WORLD. 405 00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:42,360 TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES SEND DANIEL RADCLIFFE-STEPHEN COLBERT 406 00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:43,995 INTERVIEW OFF THE RAILS. 407 00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:49,101 STEPHEN COLBERT EMBRACES TECHNICAL ISSUES IN INTERVIEW 408 00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:50,335 WITH DANIEL RADCLIFFE. 409 00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:54,806 DANIEL RADCLIFFE FORCED TO MIME ON "LATE SHOW" AMID TECHNICAL 410 00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,041 DIFFICULTIES. 411 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:57,142 AND I JUST EYE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU REMEMBER OF THAT MOMENT, BUT 412 00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:59,177 I REMEMBER BEING KIND OF THRILLED THAT IT WAS GOING OFF 413 00:22:59,244 --> 00:22:59,578 THE RAILS. 414 00:22:59,644 --> 00:23:00,712 >> ME, TOO. 415 00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:04,049 YOU KNOW, I THINK WE BOTH DO A LOT OF INTERVIEWS, SO WHEN 416 00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:05,650 SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENS, WELL, THIS IS DIFFERENT. 417 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:06,585 THIS IS FUN. 418 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:08,153 >> Stephen: ANYTHING UNEXPECTED IS A HOLIDAY. 419 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:11,123 >> AND IT WAS WITH YOU, SO YOU KNEW IT WOULD STILL BE-- YOU'D 420 00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:12,090 MAKE IT FUNNY. 421 00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:14,292 I DIDN'T HAVE TO -- >> Stephen: LET'S SHOW THE 422 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:15,494 FOLKS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. 423 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,695 JIM. 424 00:23:16,762 --> 00:23:18,697 >> I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HEARING YOU THROUGH MY I.F.B., AND AS 425 00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:21,800 SOON AS WE CAN FIGURE OUT THE WAY I'M SUPPOSED TO HEAR YOU, 426 00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:25,437 WHETHER IT'S ON THIS OR THIS LITTLE LAPTOP HERE, WE'LL FIGURE 427 00:23:25,504 --> 00:23:27,339 IT OUT. 428 00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:28,106 WE'LL GET GOING. 429 00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:30,408 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS? 430 00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:31,977 CAN'T HEAR A WORD. 431 00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:36,114 LET'S SEE WHAT KIND OF MIME TRAINING YOU'VE GOT THERE, 432 00:23:36,181 --> 00:23:36,748 RADCLIFFE. 433 00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:39,851 COME ON, YOU TRAINED ACTOR! 434 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:40,452 NOPE. 435 00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:41,686 WHERE'S YOUR SUIT, DANIEL? 436 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:42,854 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 437 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,222 WHAT, DO YOU NOT OWN A SUIT? 438 00:23:44,289 --> 00:23:45,924 COME ON, WE HAVE STANDARDS. 439 00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:47,559 THERE ARE STANDARDS! 440 00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:50,061 WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU BATHED? 441 00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:51,096 HE CAN'T RESPOND. 442 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:52,264 NO, HE CAN'T RESPOND. 443 00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:54,466 HOW DOES IT FEEL? 444 00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:57,302 WE'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU ON SCREEN FOR YEARS AND YELLING AND 445 00:23:57,369 --> 00:23:59,304 YOU HAVEN'T SAID A DAMN THING BACK. 446 00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:00,071 WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER? 447 00:24:00,138 --> 00:24:01,006 I'LL JUST CALL YOU. 448 00:24:01,072 --> 00:24:06,244 I'LL CALL YOU. 449 00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:06,812 ( LAUGHTER ) DANIEL. 450 00:24:06,878 --> 00:24:07,245 YOU CAN HEAR ME? 451 00:24:07,312 --> 00:24:08,079 >> HI, STEPHEN. 452 00:24:08,146 --> 00:24:09,581 I CAN HEAR YOU. 453 00:24:09,648 --> 00:24:10,515 CAN YOU HEAR ME. 454 00:24:10,582 --> 00:24:13,084 >> Stephen: I CAN, LOUD AND CLEAR. 455 00:24:13,151 --> 00:24:16,254 THAT WAS-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 456 00:24:16,321 --> 00:24:17,489 IS. 457 00:24:17,556 --> 00:24:20,926 >> I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE WORLD AT THAT MOMENT WAS, 458 00:24:20,992 --> 00:24:24,062 LIKE, THE WHOLE WORLD WAS FIGURING OUT HOW TO DO STUFF 459 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,865 AGAIN AND WE WERE THE REAL-- WE WERE THE SYMBOL OF THAT GOING ON 460 00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:27,499 IN THE WORLD. 461 00:24:27,566 --> 00:24:28,700 >> Stephen: EXACTLY. 462 00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:31,703 WHY SHOULD OUR DAILY JOBBING LESS OF A DISASTER THAN THE REST 463 00:24:31,770 --> 00:24:32,871 OF THE WORLD AT THAT MOMENT? 464 00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:33,505 >> RIGHT. 465 00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:35,006 IT'S A GOOD EQUALIZER. 466 00:24:35,073 --> 00:24:38,176 AND EVERYTHING-- EVERYTHING AFTER THAT ON ZOOM BECAME VERY, 467 00:24:38,243 --> 00:24:39,845 YOU KNOW, ROTE AND PREDICTABLE. 468 00:24:39,911 --> 00:24:40,979 SO THAT WAS REALLY FUN. 469 00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:42,848 >> Stephen: ONE OF THE THINGS YOU DID THAT NIGHT WAS YOU 470 00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:47,752 SHOWED ME-- WHAT HAD YOU CREATED, THE MILLENNIUM FALCON? 471 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:53,225 >> WE HAD DONE THE JURASSIC PARK. 472 00:24:53,291 --> 00:24:54,426 >> Stephen: IN LEGGOS. 473 00:24:54,492 --> 00:24:56,728 THEN SUDDENLY YOU BECAME KNOWN AS THE LEGO GUY BECAUSE PEOPLE 474 00:24:56,795 --> 00:24:58,029 LOVED SEEING YOUR LEGGOS. 475 00:24:58,096 --> 00:25:00,332 DO YOU GET A LOT OF LEGO STUFF NOW? 476 00:25:00,398 --> 00:25:03,401 >> I DID GET SENT A LOT OF LEGO. 477 00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:09,241 I WAS VERY APPRECIATIVE OF IT, BUT LEGGOS TAKES UP A LOT OF 478 00:25:09,307 --> 00:25:12,844 SPACE, AND MY FRIENDS' YOUNG CHILDREN ARE LEGO RICH. 479 00:25:12,911 --> 00:25:14,012 IT WAS GREAT. 480 00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:16,715 IT WAS A GREAT QUARANTINE TIME PASSER, BUT YOU MENTION ONE 481 00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:20,619 THING YOU WANT TO DO AND IT BECOMES ENTIRE PRESS TOURS. 482 00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:23,088 BUT I'D RATHER TALK ABOUT LEGGOS THAN MYSELF. 483 00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:26,625 I'M LIKE, GREAT, ASK ME ABOUT MY LEGO T-REX. 484 00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:30,562 >> Stephen: I HAVE SAID THE WRONG THING AND GOTTEN GIFTS OF 485 00:25:30,629 --> 00:25:32,964 THINGS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH. 486 00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:34,132 HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU BEFORE? 487 00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:35,934 >> I MENTIONED WHEN I WAS 11 YEARS OLD, MY FAVORITE ANIMAL 488 00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:40,105 WAS WOLVES AND I STILL LOVE THEM, BUT WE GOT SENT SO MUCH 489 00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:41,306 WOLF STUFF. 490 00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:44,509 AND WOLFS ARE NOT MY PARENTS' FAVORITE BUT THEY HAVE SO MUCH 491 00:25:44,576 --> 00:25:45,844 WOLF STUFF IN THE HOUSE NOW. 492 00:25:45,911 --> 00:25:47,646 THEY ALL GOT USED AND APPRECIATED. 493 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:49,447 BUT YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH -- 494 00:25:49,514 --> 00:25:51,483 >> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO MENTION 495 00:25:51,549 --> 00:25:53,018 TONIGHT THAT YOU HOPE PEOPLE WILL SEND YOU? 496 00:25:53,084 --> 00:25:56,154 >> YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME. 497 00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:57,422 IT'S JUST-- THIS IS DANGEROUS. 498 00:25:57,489 --> 00:25:58,223 ( LAUGHTER ). 499 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,358 >> Stephen: I LOVE HIGH-END BOURBON. 500 00:26:00,425 --> 00:26:01,192 >> THERE YOU GO. 501 00:26:01,259 --> 00:26:03,061 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 502 00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:07,132 >> Stephen: NOW-- NOW-- ( APPLAUSE ) 503 00:26:07,198 --> 00:26:10,902 THE SHOW IS IN ITS THIRD SEASON, "MIRICLE WORKERS," AND THIS 504 00:26:10,969 --> 00:26:15,307 TIME, EACH SEASON IT'S-- IT'S THE SAME ACTORS BUT DIFFERENT 505 00:26:15,373 --> 00:26:16,975 CHARACTERS, DIFFERENT SITUATIONS, RIGHT? 506 00:26:17,042 --> 00:26:18,376 >> YEAH, EXACTLY. 507 00:26:18,443 --> 00:26:22,314 >> Stephen: AND THIS IS "THE OREGON TRAIL" THIS TIME, 508 00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:24,149 HAZARDOUS, PIONEERS GOING ACROSS-- 509 00:26:24,215 --> 00:26:24,950 >> YES. 510 00:26:25,016 --> 00:26:26,551 >> Stephen: IT'S ALSO A VIDEO GAME. 511 00:26:26,618 --> 00:26:27,686 >> YES, IT IS. 512 00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,955 >> Stephen: THAT AT LEAST A LOT OF AMERICAN KIDS PLAYED. 513 00:26:30,021 --> 00:26:32,157 DID YOU PLAY IT IN THE U.K. 514 00:26:32,223 --> 00:26:35,860 >> SEEMINGLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I DISCOVERED IT IN THE MID-90s 515 00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:37,762 COMPUTER CLASS, THE LAST 15 MINUTES. 516 00:26:37,829 --> 00:26:39,464 >> Stephen: A LOT OF IT IS TEXT BASED. 517 00:26:39,531 --> 00:26:41,066 >> I STILL RECOMMEND IT. 518 00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:43,435 YOU CAN PLAY IT FOR ME ONLINE. 519 00:26:43,501 --> 00:26:45,403 I THINK I PLAYED IT SOMEWHERE LEGAL. 520 00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:46,204 IT WAS VERY EASY. 521 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,006 >> Stephen: WHY WOULD IT BE ILLEGAL? 522 00:26:48,073 --> 00:26:49,641 >> I DON'T KNOW. 523 00:26:49,708 --> 00:26:50,642 SOMEBODY MADE THAT GAME. 524 00:26:50,709 --> 00:26:53,945 MAYBE I SHOULD BE PAYING TO PLAY "OREGON TRAILS." 525 00:26:54,012 --> 00:26:55,180 I WAS TERRIBLE AT IT. 526 00:26:55,246 --> 00:26:58,483 IT'S A GAME ABOUT LONG-TERM PLANNING THAT CHILDREN WERE 527 00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:00,652 PLAYING, HOW GOOD DID THEY EXPECT US TO BE? 528 00:27:00,719 --> 00:27:04,356 >> Stephen: YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTARY." 529 00:27:04,422 --> 00:27:06,758 >> WE GET A FEW REFERENCES IN THE SHOW. 530 00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:11,629 WE DEFINITELY HAVE A DYSENTARY REFERENCE. 531 00:27:11,696 --> 00:27:15,133 AND IT'S LIKE SO MANY PERIODS OF AMERICAN HISTORY, IT IS FULL OF 532 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:20,438 BOTH JUST KIND OF AWE-INSPIRING STORIES OF TOUGHNESS AND SORT OF 533 00:27:20,505 --> 00:27:21,573 PERSEVERANCE. 534 00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:24,409 AND, ALSO, JUST THE WORST THINGS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD. 535 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,678 AND IT'S GOT A GOOD MIX ABOUT. 536 00:27:26,745 --> 00:27:28,279 SO COMEDY-- COMEDY GOLD, YEAH. 537 00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:29,280 >> Stephen: IT'S A WESTERN. 538 00:27:29,347 --> 00:27:30,415 >> YEAH. 539 00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,717 >> Stephen: AND I'M JUST CURIOUS-- I MEAN, ESSENTIAL, I'M 540 00:27:32,784 --> 00:27:35,954 OLDER THAN YOU ARE, BUT WHEN I WAS A KID, WESTERNERS WERE ON 541 00:27:36,021 --> 00:27:36,888 ALL THE TIME. 542 00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:39,257 DID YOU GROW UP WITH WESTERNERS IN THE U.K.? 543 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,525 >> ABSOLUTELY. 544 00:27:40,592 --> 00:27:43,728 CHANNEL 4 EVERY LUNCHTIME WOULD PLAY EITHER A WORLD WAR II MOVIE 545 00:27:43,795 --> 00:27:44,496 OR A WESTERN. 546 00:27:44,562 --> 00:27:47,766 I FEEL LIKE A LOT OF OLD AMERICANA. 547 00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:52,103 YEAH, WE WATCHED A TON OF THEM, ESPECIALLY AT LUNCHTIME, ME AND 548 00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:57,776 MY FRIEND SPENT EVERY LUNCHTIME TOGETHER WOULD WATCH "60 MINUTE 549 00:27:57,842 --> 00:28:00,278 MAKEOVER" A HOME INTERIOR DESIGN SHOW -- 550 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:01,713 >> Stephen: LIKE 11-YEAR-OLDS DO. 551 00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:07,118 >> NO, BUT IT WAS LIKE-- WE CALLED IT "60-MINUTE SCRUB YOUR 552 00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:07,585 HOUSE." 553 00:28:07,652 --> 00:28:08,586 IT WAS 60 MINUTES. 554 00:28:08,653 --> 00:28:13,425 HOW MUCH CAN YOU DO IN 60 MINUTES IN FOUR ROOMS? 555 00:28:13,491 --> 00:28:14,859 SORPRY, THIS WAS NOT THE POINT OF THE QUESTION. 556 00:28:14,926 --> 00:28:16,928 I DID WATCH WESTERNS. 557 00:28:16,995 --> 00:28:20,632 I ALSO FEEL LIKE I GAVE, LIKE, WHEN I WAS PLAYING WITH ACTION 558 00:28:20,698 --> 00:28:24,903 FIGURES, I WOULD GIVE THEM AMERICAN ACCENT, AND A LOT OF 559 00:28:24,969 --> 00:28:29,541 YOUR EARLY EXPOSURE TO AMERICAN ACCENT I THINK IS PROBABLY 560 00:28:29,607 --> 00:28:30,575 WESTERNS. 561 00:28:30,642 --> 00:28:31,709 >> Stephen: DID YOU COME UP WITH A COWBOY ACCENT? 562 00:28:31,776 --> 00:28:34,212 DO YOU HAVE A-- >> NO, NOT HAPPENING. 563 00:28:34,279 --> 00:28:34,813 NOT HAPPENING. 564 00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:35,680 >> Stephen: TOO LATE, MAN. 565 00:28:35,747 --> 00:28:37,215 TOO LATE. 566 00:28:37,282 --> 00:28:38,283 HOWDIE, PARTNER. 567 00:28:38,349 --> 00:28:47,959 JUST SAY-- SAY HOYDY PARTNER. 568 00:28:48,026 --> 00:28:51,596 >> SOME DAY I MIGHT WANT TO DO A WESTERNER AND THE DIRECTOR WILL 569 00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:54,265 SAY CAN HE DO AN ACCENT. 570 00:28:54,332 --> 00:28:58,603 I REALIZED THAT ACTION FIGURES SOUNDED RIDICULOUS WITH MY 571 00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:01,673 ACCENT SO YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM COOLER IN AMERICAN. 572 00:29:01,739 --> 00:29:05,410 >> Stephen: YOUR GIRLFRIEND, ERIN DARK, YOU GUYS MET ON SET, 573 00:29:05,477 --> 00:29:06,611 AND SHE'S IN THIS. 574 00:29:06,678 --> 00:29:10,348 IT'S THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE BEEN ON SET TOGETHER IN 10 YEARS. 575 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:12,484 WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE PERFORMING TOGETHER AGAIN? 576 00:29:12,550 --> 00:29:13,751 >> IT'S LOVELY. 577 00:29:13,818 --> 00:29:17,856 IT'S LIKE WE MET ON SET, AND TO WORK WITH HER AGAIN WAS KIND OF 578 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:20,125 FLASH YOU BACK TO MEETING AND TO THE WAY WE MET. 579 00:29:20,191 --> 00:29:24,262 AND, LIKE, SEEING EACH OTHER IN THAT WAY AGAIN WAS-- IT WAS JUST 580 00:29:24,329 --> 00:29:25,497 REALLY COOL. 581 00:29:25,563 --> 00:29:30,068 IT FELT LIKE A COUPLE RECREATING THEIR FIRST DATE OR SOMETHING. 582 00:29:30,135 --> 00:29:31,903 IT WAS REALLY-- YEAH, IT WAS LOVELY. 583 00:29:31,970 --> 00:29:33,404 AND SHE'S LOVELY IN THE SHOW. 584 00:29:33,471 --> 00:29:37,242 >> Stephen: YOU HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARY SCENE THIS SEASON. 585 00:29:37,308 --> 00:29:38,009 >> YES. 586 00:29:38,076 --> 00:29:40,245 >> Stephen: WHERE YOU ARE DANCING. 587 00:29:40,311 --> 00:29:41,379 >> YUP. 588 00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:43,815 >> Stephen: IN A WAY THAT IS NOT ENTIRELY EXPECTED ON THE 589 00:29:43,882 --> 00:29:44,749 OREGON TRAIL. 590 00:29:44,816 --> 00:29:45,750 >> YES, THAT'S TRUE. 591 00:29:45,817 --> 00:29:48,853 >> Stephen: AND IT'S GOTTEN A LOT OF ATTENTION. 592 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,824 JIM, CAN YOU GIVE THEM A TASTE OF HIS DANCING? 593 00:29:52,891 --> 00:29:57,162 ♪ SHE'LL BE DRIVING SIX WHITE HORSES HAD WHETHER SHE COMES 594 00:29:57,228 --> 00:30:00,165 ♪ SHE'LL BY DRIVING SIX WHITE HORSES WHEN SHE COMES 595 00:30:00,231 --> 00:30:04,102 ♪ SHE'LL BE DRIVING SIX WHITE HORSES 596 00:30:04,169 --> 00:30:16,147 ♪ SHE'LL BE DRIVING SIX WHITE HORSES WHEN SHE COMES ♪ 597 00:30:16,214 --> 00:30:25,924 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 598 00:30:25,990 --> 00:30:29,093 IN ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 599 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,129 >> Stephen: NICELY DONE. 600 00:30:31,196 --> 00:30:31,863 >> YEAH. 601 00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:33,131 >> Stephen: NICELY GONE DONE. 602 00:30:33,198 --> 00:30:39,671 >> IT'S ACTUALLY-- I-- THE LESS CONTEXT PEOPLE HAVE ON THAT CLIP 603 00:30:39,737 --> 00:30:40,838 THE BETTER I FEEL LIKE. 604 00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:43,141 >> Stephen: HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO LEARN THAT DANCE? 605 00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:44,709 >> IT WAS A LONG TIME. 606 00:30:44,776 --> 00:30:47,712 LIKE, I'M NOT SOMEBODY THAT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, GREW UP DANCING. 607 00:30:47,779 --> 00:30:51,849 BUT IF YOU GIVE ME CHOREOGRAPHY AND TIME, I CAN, LIKE, LEARN IT. 608 00:30:51,916 --> 00:30:55,987 AND WE HAD AN AMAZING CHOREOGRAPHER, AND VOGUEING HAD 609 00:30:56,054 --> 00:30:57,589 SPECIFICALLY BEEN ASKED FOR BY THE WRITERS. 610 00:30:57,655 --> 00:30:59,424 YOU HAVE TO ASK THEM WHY. 611 00:30:59,490 --> 00:31:03,127 AND THEN THEY BROUGHT IN A VOGUEING SPECIALIST CALLED 612 00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:05,563 THOMAS MATOS, I THINK IS HIS SURNAME. 613 00:31:05,630 --> 00:31:08,099 AND HE SENT ME ALL THESE VIDOZE. 614 00:31:08,166 --> 00:31:12,370 HE TAUGHT ME THE BABY VERSION OF IT, BECAUSE I CAN'T DO 1% OF 1% 615 00:31:12,437 --> 00:31:13,838 OF WHAT HE DOES. 616 00:31:13,905 --> 00:31:17,675 BUT, YEAH, IT WAS AN INSANE, INCREDIBLY FUN DAY. 617 00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:21,713 >> Stephen: ARE YOU TEMPTED TO BREAK THAT OUT AT A WEDDING SOME 618 00:31:21,779 --> 00:31:22,513 TIME SOON? 619 00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:23,948 >> I DON'T THINK I'LL BE DOING THAT. 620 00:31:24,015 --> 00:31:28,152 IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS THAT WILL LIVE IN MY MEMORY OF SET 621 00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:29,654 AND ON SCREEN. 622 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,223 BUT I DON'T THINK-- I DON'T THINK I CAN PULL THOSE MOVES OFF 623 00:31:32,290 --> 00:31:34,492 NOT WEARING THAT OUTFIT, YEAH. 624 00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:35,994 >> Stephen: MAKE IT WORK. 625 00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:37,228 MAKE IT WORK. 626 00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:39,397 THIS IS, AS YOU ALREADY KNOW, OF COURSE, BUT THIS IS THE 20th-- 627 00:31:39,464 --> 00:31:42,233 THIS YEAR IS THE 20th ANNIVERSARY OF THE HARRY POTTER 628 00:31:42,300 --> 00:31:43,668 FILMS BEING RELEASED. 629 00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:47,705 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 630 00:31:47,772 --> 00:31:51,075 AND YOU WERE-- AND YOU WERE 11 WHEN IT STARTED. 631 00:31:51,142 --> 00:31:54,445 AND I'M JUST WONDERING NOW AS YOU LOOK BACK OVER THE LAST 20 632 00:31:54,512 --> 00:32:00,451 YEARS, DO YOU MARVEL AT THE EXTRAORDINARY CAST YOU WERE PART 633 00:32:00,518 --> 00:32:01,619 OF? 634 00:32:01,686 --> 00:32:05,390 YOU KNOW, MAGGIE SMITH AND RICHARD HARRIS ALAN RICKMAN AND 635 00:32:05,456 --> 00:32:06,424 THOSE PEOPLE. 636 00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:08,159 WHAT DID YOU THINK THEN AND WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW? 637 00:32:08,226 --> 00:32:11,796 >> NOW I'M AWARE OF WHO THEY ARE IN A MUCH MORE SIGNIFICANT WAY 638 00:32:11,863 --> 00:32:13,564 THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS NINE OR 10. 639 00:32:13,631 --> 00:32:17,035 YOU KNOW, I MET MAGGIE SMITH WHEN I WAS NINE FOR THE FIRST 640 00:32:17,101 --> 00:32:18,603 TIME. 641 00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:24,342 SHE WAS-- I DID DAVID COPPERFIELD -- DAVID 642 00:32:24,409 --> 00:32:26,010 COPPERFIELD, ONE PERSON, TWO PEOPLE. 643 00:32:26,077 --> 00:32:28,146 DON'T ALL JOIN IN NOW, BUT THANK YOU. 644 00:32:28,212 --> 00:32:32,216 BUT MAGGIE WAS THE PERSON THAT, LIKE, RECOMMENDED ME FOR POTTER, 645 00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:34,452 SO SHE'S THE REASON I ENDED UP DOING THAT. 646 00:32:34,519 --> 00:32:36,354 I MET HER WHEN I WAS NINE FOR THE FIRST TIME. 647 00:32:36,421 --> 00:32:37,722 AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHO SHE WAS. 648 00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:41,359 MY PARENTS WERE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE WORKING WITH MAGGIE 649 00:32:41,426 --> 00:32:42,927 SMITH, THAT'S HUGE." 650 00:32:42,994 --> 00:32:47,498 I WASN'T A "MISS JEAN BRAUDE" FAN AT NINE AND DIDN'T KNOW WHO 651 00:32:47,565 --> 00:32:48,299 SHE WAS. 652 00:32:48,366 --> 00:32:51,869 I MET HER WITHOUT ANY EMBARRASSMENT. 653 00:32:51,936 --> 00:32:53,271 I KNEW SHE WAS A DAME. 654 00:32:53,338 --> 00:32:56,874 "DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU DAME" WERE THE FIRST WORDS OUT 655 00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:58,543 OF MY MOUTH. 656 00:32:58,609 --> 00:33:00,945 AND SHE WAS IMMEDIATELY CHARMED AND SAID, "DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. 657 00:33:01,012 --> 00:33:02,146 JUST CALL ME MAGGIE." 658 00:33:02,213 --> 00:33:05,249 IT'S HARD TO BE-- AT THE TIME I WASN'T STAR STRUCK BY ANY OF 659 00:33:05,316 --> 00:33:06,384 THOSE PEOPLE. 660 00:33:06,451 --> 00:33:10,188 THE FIRST PERSON I REMEMBER BEING STAR TRUCK BY WAS GARY 661 00:33:10,254 --> 00:33:13,591 OLDMAN, BAWLINGS IT WAS THE AGE I KNEW WHO HE WAS AND GETTING 662 00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:14,926 MORE SERIOUS ABOUT ACTING MYSELF. 663 00:33:14,992 --> 00:33:17,695 BEFORE THAT, WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE AS A NINE-YEAR-OLD IT'S 664 00:33:17,762 --> 00:33:20,498 SORT OF HARD TO GAIN STAR STRUCKNESS OF THEM LATER ON. 665 00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:21,733 >> Stephen: WHICH IS GREAT. 666 00:33:21,799 --> 00:33:22,867 >> WHICH IS NICE. 667 00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:26,371 >> Stephen: WELL, I'M TRYING NOT TO BE STAR STRUCK BY YOU 668 00:33:26,437 --> 00:33:29,240 RIGHT NOW, BUT THAT DANCING DIDN'T HELP. 669 00:33:29,307 --> 00:33:30,274 >> THANK YOU. 670 00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:31,976 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 671 00:33:32,043 --> 00:33:33,778 >> Stephen: DANIEL SUFFICIENCY LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 672 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,813 >> YOU, TOO. 673 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,217 >> Stephen: PLEASE COME BACK OFTEN SO WE CAN TAKE FACE TO 674 00:33:39,283 --> 00:33:39,517 FACE. 675 00:33:39,584 --> 00:33:40,685 >> YES. 676 00:33:40,752 --> 00:33:41,352 >> Stephen: NEW EPISODES OF "MIRACLE WORKERS" AIR TUESDAYS 677 00:33:41,419 --> 00:33:41,986 ON TBS. 678 00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:43,488 DANIEL RADCLIFFE, EVERYBODY! 679 00:33:43,554 --> 00:33:45,556 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 680 00:33:58,035 --> 00:33:58,870 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 681 00:33:58,936 --> 00:34:02,540 WELCOME BACK! 682 00:34:02,607 --> 00:34:03,808 TO "THE LATE SHOW." 683 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,777 FOLKS, IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, YOU'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME DURING THIS 684 00:34:05,843 --> 00:34:07,545 PANDEMIC WATCHING TV. 685 00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:09,580 AS A MATTER OF FACT, THERE'S A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE YOU'RE DOING 686 00:34:09,647 --> 00:34:14,719 IT RIGHT NOW AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS 687 00:34:14,786 --> 00:34:16,387 OVER THIS LAST YEAR WAS NETFLIX'S "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT," 688 00:34:16,454 --> 00:34:19,457 ( APPLAUSE ) CLEARLY, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE 689 00:34:19,524 --> 00:34:22,493 WHO HAS LOVED THE "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT," BECAUSE IT'S CURRENTLY 690 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:26,898 UP FOR 18 EMMYS, WHICH MEANS-- WHICH MEANS, THEY COULD SOON 691 00:34:26,964 --> 00:34:37,008 HAVE ENOUGH TROPHIES TO PLAY CHESS WITH. 692 00:34:37,074 --> 00:34:38,609 NOT ONLY THAT, THE SHOW HAS INSPIRED A RENEWED INTEREST IN 693 00:34:38,676 --> 00:34:41,312 CLASSIC GAMES THAT HAS EVEN LED TO PLANS FOR A MOVIE BASED ON 694 00:34:41,379 --> 00:34:42,513 THE RUBICK'S CUBE. 695 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:46,150 I WAS SO INSPIRED BY THE IDEA OF CREATING ENTERTAINMENT ON A 696 00:34:46,217 --> 00:34:49,987 SQUARE COVERED IN STICKERS, EARLY THIS YEAR, I RELEASED A 697 00:34:50,054 --> 00:34:55,426 TRAILER FOR MY VERY OWN PRESTIGE STREAMING SERIES BASED ON THE 698 00:34:55,493 --> 00:34:56,627 RUBICK'S CUBE. 699 00:34:56,694 --> 00:34:58,262 AND TONIGHT I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU FOR THE FIRST 700 00:34:58,329 --> 00:35:00,998 TIME WITH A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 701 00:35:01,065 --> 00:35:01,766 JIM. 702 00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:03,734 ♪ ♪ ♪ THE WORLD OF COMPETITIVE 703 00:35:03,801 --> 00:35:07,038 RUBICK'S CUBING IS A MAN'S WORLD, USUALLY A YOUNG MAN-- 704 00:35:07,104 --> 00:35:10,107 CHILDREN, REALLY. 705 00:35:10,174 --> 00:35:12,543 >> NOT ANYMORE. 706 00:35:12,610 --> 00:35:13,978 I WASN'T JUST HANDED MY SEAT. 707 00:35:14,045 --> 00:35:17,014 I HAD TO OVERCOME SO MUCH. 708 00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:21,486 SEXISM, A SPRAINED WRIST, TEMPORARY COLOR BLINDNESS. 709 00:35:21,552 --> 00:35:25,156 >> YOU MAY BE THE GREATEST NATURAL TALENT I'VE EVER SEEN, 710 00:35:25,223 --> 00:35:29,927 BUT YOU MUST MASTER THE OPENING MOVE KNOWN ONLY TO DISTINGUISHED 711 00:35:29,994 --> 00:35:31,095 PLAYERS. 712 00:35:31,162 --> 00:35:34,031 IT'S CALLED "TURN THE LEFT, BOTTOM, MIDDLE FORWARD TO THE 713 00:35:34,098 --> 00:35:34,765 FRONT-FACING PART." 714 00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:35,900 IT'S NOT LIKE CHESS. 715 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:43,541 WE DON'T GET TO HAVE COOL NAMES FOR THINGS. 716 00:35:43,608 --> 00:35:44,675 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 717 00:35:44,742 --> 00:35:46,978 >> IT MAY BE JUST A BLOCK COVERED IN LITTLE STICKERS TO 718 00:35:47,044 --> 00:35:53,618 YOU, BUT TO ME, IT'S THE ENTIRE WORLD! 719 00:35:53,684 --> 00:35:54,385 OH, ALSO DRUGS. 720 00:35:54,452 --> 00:35:57,822 I DO TONS OF DRUGS ( CRYING ) 721 00:35:57,889 --> 00:36:03,127 YOU DON'T KNOW ME! 722 00:36:03,194 --> 00:36:09,100 >> TURN THE LEFT BOTTOM MIDDLE SIDEWAYS TOWARDS THE 723 00:36:09,166 --> 00:36:10,635 FRONT-FACING PART." 724 00:36:10,701 --> 00:36:12,136 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 725 00:36:12,203 --> 00:36:14,205 WITH A PERFORMANCE BY "DAN + SHAY." 726 00:36:46,003 --> 00:36:49,607 PERFORMING "YOU" FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM, "GOOD THINGS," DAN + 727 00:36:49,674 --> 00:36:53,210 SHAY. 728 00:36:55,446 --> 00:37:00,918 ♪ OOH, OOH BABY, 729 00:37:00,985 --> 00:37:04,355 ♪ STANDIN' HERE WITH YOU WITH YOUR ARMS AROUND MY 730 00:37:04,422 --> 00:37:09,026 ♪ SHOULDERS WE'RE DANCIN' WITH THE MOON 731 00:37:09,093 --> 00:37:15,600 ♪ AND BABY, IT FEELS JUST LIKE A DREAM 732 00:37:15,666 --> 00:37:20,104 ♪ WHEN I WHISPER THAT I LOVE YOU AND YOU SAY IT BACK TO ME 733 00:37:20,171 --> 00:37:26,110 ♪ I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS 734 00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:31,349 ♪ IN THE SUN OF SUNDAY MORNING OR THE POURING RAIN 735 00:37:31,415 --> 00:37:37,254 ♪ I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE 736 00:37:37,321 --> 00:37:42,226 ♪ AND IF ALL ELSE GOES WRONG, BABY I'LL BE ALRIGHT 737 00:37:42,293 --> 00:37:46,464 ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU 738 00:37:46,530 --> 00:37:51,202 ♪ YOU AND ONLY YOU I GOT YOU, YOU, AND ONLY 739 00:37:51,268 --> 00:37:57,341 ♪ YOU YOU AND ONLY YOU BABY, 740 00:37:57,408 --> 00:38:02,780 ♪ LOOKIN' IN YOUR EYES IT'S LIKE WE'RE IN SLOW MOTION, 741 00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:08,653 ♪ JUST YOU AND ME TONIGHT AND BABY, 742 00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:12,123 ♪ YOU LEAN IN FOR A KISS AND I KNOW, 743 00:38:12,189 --> 00:38:15,359 ♪ AND I KNOW, AND I KNOW 744 00:38:15,426 --> 00:38:23,901 ♪ THAT IT DON'T BETTER THAN THIS 'CAUSE I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH 745 00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:26,937 ♪ FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS IN THE SUN OF SUNDAY MORNING 746 00:38:27,004 --> 00:38:33,310 ♪ OR THE POURING RAIN I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH 747 00:38:33,377 --> 00:38:38,082 ♪ FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND IF ALL ELSE GOES WRONG, 748 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:42,586 ♪ BABY I'LL BE ALRIGHT 'CAUSE I GOT YOU 749 00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:46,791 ♪ YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU YOU AND ONLY YOU 750 00:38:46,857 --> 00:38:54,665 ♪ I GOT YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU YOU AND ONLY YOU 751 00:38:54,732 --> 00:39:03,974 ♪ I GOT FOREVER AND I GOT ALL I'LL EVER NEED 752 00:39:04,041 --> 00:39:13,951 ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH, OOH I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH 753 00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:15,720 (YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU) ♪ FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS IN THE 754 00:39:15,786 --> 00:39:21,559 SUN OF SUNDAY MORNING OR THE ♪ POURING RAIN 755 00:39:21,625 --> 00:39:28,666 ♪ I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH ♪ FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE 756 00:39:28,733 --> 00:39:33,404 ♪ AND IF ALL ELSE GOES WRONG, BABY I'LL BE ALRIGHT 757 00:39:33,471 --> 00:39:35,339 ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU 758 00:39:35,406 --> 00:39:39,009 ♪ YOU AND ONLY YOU I GOT YOU, 759 00:39:39,076 --> 00:39:45,549 ♪ YOU, AND ONLY YOU YOU AND ONLY YOU 760 00:39:45,616 --> 00:39:48,786 ♪ BABY, I GOT YOU, OOH, OOH YOU, YOU, AND ONLY YOU 761 00:39:48,853 --> 00:39:59,930 ♪ YOU AND ONLY YOU OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ YOU AND ONLY YOU 762 00:39:59,997 --> 00:40:06,470 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: CHECK THEM OUT ON 763 00:40:06,537 --> 00:40:08,105 TOUR THIS FALL. 764 00:40:08,172 --> 00:40:09,540 DAN + SHAY, EVERYBODY! 765 00:40:09,607 --> 00:40:10,741 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 766 00:40:19,016 --> 00:40:20,251 LATE SHOW." 767 00:40:20,317 --> 00:40:23,020 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE SEAN PENN AND DYLAN 768 00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:23,420 PENN. 769 00:40:23,487 --> 00:40:25,489 GOOD NIGHT. 770 00:40:30,027 --> 00:40:30,895 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ GO GREASED LIGHTNING 771 00:40:33,030 --> 00:40:35,032 BURNING DOWN THE QUARTER MILE ♪ GREASED