1 00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:03,636 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN US HISTORY, THE GOVERNMENT HAS 2 00:00:03,703 --> 00:00:07,374 DECLARED A WATER SHORTAGE IN THE COLORADO RIVER, CLIMATE CHANGE 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,176 AND THE DROUGHT ARE BOTH THREATENING THE RIVER'S FUTURE. 4 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:11,344 WITH LESS SNOW HITTING THE MOUNTAINS EACH YEAR, THE MELTED 5 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:16,783 RUNOFF CAN'T REPLENISH THE WATER LEVELS. 6 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,017 >> WERE YOU THINKING OF VISITING THE COLORADO RIVER BUT WERE 7 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,252 HESITATING BECAUSE GLOBAL WARMING IS DRAINING THE WATER? 8 00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:22,355 NOW YOU CAN EXPERIENCE ALL THE THRILLS OF THE COLORADO RIVER ON 9 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:25,158 LAND! 10 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:32,432 THE COLORADO RIVER IS STILL THE PLACE FOR A THRILLING ADVENTURE 11 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:35,034 AND HAS NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITING! 12 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,636 ENJOY THE THRILL OF A LIFETIME WITH THE BENEFIT OF LESS 13 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,940 DROWNING! 14 00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:43,176 AND BE SURE TO VISIT COLORADO MOUNTAINS IN THE WINTER FOR MORE 15 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:44,644 OUTDOOR FUN. 16 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:50,650 COME SEE THE COLORADO RIVER, BUT BRING WATER BECAUSE WE DON'T 17 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,852 HAVE ANY! 18 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:58,925 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT! 19 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:08,001 TONIGHT, STEPHEN WELCOMES AMANDA PEET, ROGER BENNETT AND CNN'S 20 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:12,405 CLARISSA WARD, FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN." 21 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:17,744 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 22 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:20,647 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 23 00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:30,690 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY! 24 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:39,199 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY! 25 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:53,379 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( AUDIENCE CHANTING STEPHEN ) 26 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,649 >> Stephen: THANK YOU, EVERYBODY! 27 00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:57,016 PLEASE! 28 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:57,383 HAVE A SEAT. 29 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,185 THANK YOU. 30 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:00,954 WELCOME -- WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." 31 00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:06,226 I'M YOUR SHOWS, STEPHEN COLBERT. 32 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,026 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I WANT TO PUT TO REST THE RUMORS 33 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,896 I'M A BIT OF A LADIES MAN. 34 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,198 ( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW WHERE THESE 35 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:12,932 STARTED. 36 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,701 I DON'T KNOW WHERE THESE STARTED. 37 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:18,538 FOLKS, IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS SINCE CAN YOU BELIEVE FELL. 38 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,974 IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, U.S. 39 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,276 TROOPS HAVE RESTORED ORDER INSIDE KABUL'S AIRPORT 40 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,844 ALLOWING EVACUATION FLIGHTS TO RESUME. 41 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:25,945 AND WHEN THEY'RE DONE THERE, MAYBE WE COULD GET THEM TO 42 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:27,146 RESTORE ORDER AT OUR AIRPORTS? 43 00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:27,981 BECAUSE THERE'S A GUY DUCT-TAPED TO A SEAT IN COACH SCREAMING 44 00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:30,216 ABOUT HOW MASKS CONTAMINATE HIS SPERM. 45 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:34,554 ( LAUGHTER ) OTHER THAN THE AIRPORT, THE 46 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:35,788 TALIBAN CONTROL PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE COUNTRY, INCLUDING 47 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:40,560 ALL THE EXPENSIVE STUFF WE LEFT THERE. 48 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,729 IN THEIR CAKEWALK TO POWER, THE TALIBAN GRABBED U.S.-SUPPLIED 49 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:54,407 GUNS, AMMUNITION, HELICOPTERS, AND COMBAT AIRCRAFT. 50 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:57,176 NORMALLY, TO GET THAT MANY AMERICAN WEAPONS, YOU HAVE TO GO 51 00:02:57,243 --> 00:03:02,215 TO WALMART. 52 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,284 ( LAUGHTER ) FOR THE PEOPLE OF AFGHANISTAN, 53 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:07,253 TODAY IS THE TRANSITION FROM "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" 54 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,990 TO "WHAT HAPPENS NOW?" THE LAST TIME THE TALIBAN WERE 55 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:14,727 IN POWER, IT WAS A MONSTROUSLY REPRESSIVE REGIME. 56 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:19,332 BUT THIS NEW TALIBAN CLAIMS THEY'RE A NEW TALIBAN, TRYING TO 57 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:23,236 COME ACROSS AS MORE MODERATE AS THEY SEEK TO REBRAND THEMSELVES. 58 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:27,106 YES, THEY WERE "THE TALIBAN," BUT NOW THEY'RE THE 59 00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:31,511 "TALI-BUDDIES!" ( LAUGHTER ) 60 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:34,047 AS PART OF THEIR NEW IMAGE THE TALIBAN ARE PROMISING 61 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:35,348 AFGHANISTAN'S WOMEN: "TRUST US WE'VE CHANGED." 62 00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:39,252 ALSO, THEY PROMISE NO REPRISAL KILLINGS. 63 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:43,256 THAT'S NOT REALLY COMFORTING WHEN YOU HAVE TO GUARANTEE THAT. 64 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:47,060 IT REMINDS ME OF TACO BELL'S AD FOR THE GORDITA CRUNCH WRAP. 65 00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:50,730 "THIS TIME, WE PROMISE, IT'S MEAT." 66 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:55,101 ( LAUGHTER ) ANYONE WITH A SHRED OF SOUL 67 00:03:55,168 --> 00:04:00,673 FEELS FOR THE AFGHAN PEOPLE. 68 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,742 SO NATURALLY, THAT EXCLUDES FOX NEWS HOST, AND DEAD-EYED 69 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:07,113 LEGO MAN, SEAN HANNITY. 70 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,715 ( BOOING ) ON HIS RADIO SHOW YESTERDAY, 71 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:11,351 HANNITY TASTEFULLY USED THE SITUATION IN AFGHANISTAN AS A 72 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,387 POINT OF DEPARTURE TO WHAT TO HIM WAS CLEARLY A MORE IMPORTANT 73 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:14,954 SUBJECT. 74 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,522 >> THERE IS A STAMPEDE. 75 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,491 NOT ONLY OUT OF AFGHANISTAN BUT A STAMPEDE AWAY FROM HIGH 76 00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:22,495 PRICES, OVERPRICED SERVICE FROM THE BIG CARRIERS LIKE VERIZON, 77 00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:25,064 AT&T, T-MOBILE. 78 00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:29,335 THE AVERAGE FAMILY MAKING THE SWITCH TO PURETALK. 79 00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,938 >> STEPHEN: HE USED THE FALL OF KABUL, THE TRAGIC CULMINATION OF 80 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:36,676 20 YEARS OF THE U.S. SACRIFICE OF LIVES AND RESOURCES, AS A 81 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,478 CLEVER SEGUE TO GET TO A SPONSOR. 82 00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:42,048 REMINDS ME OF THIS MOMENT IN BROADCAST HISTORY: 83 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,451 >> OH, AND IT'S BURSTING INTO FLAMES! 84 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:49,956 MUCH LIKE THE BURST OF FLAVOR FROM DOUBLE BUBBLE GUM. 85 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:54,494 OH, THE CHEW-MANITY! 86 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,530 >> STEPHEN: EXCITING NEWS FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TRIGGERING THEIR 87 00:04:57,597 --> 00:05:01,300 P.T.S.D. ABOUT THE LAST FOUR YEARS, BECAUSE THE TITLE AND 88 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:04,604 COVER OF BOB WOODWARD'S NEW BOOK ABOUT THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAVE 89 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,205 BEEN REVEALED. 90 00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:07,306 IT'S CALLED "PERIL." 91 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:10,476 THE FOLLOW-UP TO WOODWARD'S OTHER BOOKS ABOUT THE 45TH 92 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,545 PRESIDENT, "FEAR" AND "RAGE." 93 00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,213 IT'S A TRILOGY, LIKE "LORD OF THE RINGS," OR THE FORMER 94 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:19,952 PRESIDENT'S WIVES. 95 00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:23,723 "PERIL" WILL LOOK AT THE 2020 ELECTION, BUT ALSO EXAMINE THE 96 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,025 JANUARY 6 INSURRECTION AND PRESIDENT BIDEN'S INAUGURATION. 97 00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,728 WOW. 98 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:29,862 THAT IS A FAST TURN-AROUND. 99 00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:30,963 AT THIS PACE, WOODWARD'S BOOKS ARE GOING TO CATCH UP TO 100 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:33,666 REAL-TIME. 101 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:37,937 AND... I'M TOLD WE HAVE AN ADVANCE COPY OF THE FOURTH BOOK. 102 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:43,976 IT'S CALLED "NOW," BY BOB WOODWARD. 103 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,713 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) 104 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:49,482 HOW DID WE GET THIS? 105 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,349 DON'T KNOW? 106 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:54,487 LET'S READ A LITTLE EXCERPT RIGHT HERE. 107 00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:55,988 "STEPHEN OPENED TO A RANDOM PAGE AND BEGAN TO READ FROM THIS 108 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:58,491 BOOK." 109 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,861 HOW IS HE DOING THIS? 110 00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,029 "HOW IS HE DOING THIS? 111 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,764 'YEE!', HE SCREAMED, AS HE RECOILED AND THREW THE BOOK BACK 112 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,466 TO HIS STAGE MANAGER, MARK." 113 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:11,003 YEE! 114 00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:14,006 ( LAUGHTER ) EVEN WITH DELTA SPREADING LIKE A 115 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:17,143 WILDFIRE MADE OF HOTCAKES, THERE IS BIG NEWS ABOUT VACCINATIONS. 116 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,746 TOMORROW, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION IS EXPECTED TO 117 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:22,482 ANNOUNCE THAT MOST AMERICANS SHOULD GET A CORONAVIRUS BOOSTER 118 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:26,185 VACCINATION EIGHT MONTHS AFTER THEY RECEIVED THEIR SECOND SHOT. 119 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:29,956 WE'RE GOING TO GET A THIRD SHOT! 120 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,124 SO SOMEHOW, THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE THE VACCINE CARD 121 00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:35,862 EVEN BIGGER. 122 00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:39,398 ( LAUGHTER ) IT FITS IN MOST MID-SIZED 123 00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:40,600 SEDANS. 124 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,468 THE FIRST PEOPLE TO GET BOOSTERS WILL LIKELY BE NURSING HOME 125 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:46,472 RESIDENTS AND HEALTHCARE WORKERS, WHO COULD GET THE JAB 126 00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:48,674 AS EARLY AS MID-SEPTEMBER. 127 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,009 SO THESE ARE AUTUMN SHOTS. 128 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:54,480 THE OPTIONS WILL BE MODERNA, PFIZER, OR PUMPKIN SPICE. 129 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,048 NOW, I WANT TO POINT OUT THAT THIS IS A BIT OF A 180 FOR THE 130 00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:58,484 C.D.C. 131 00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:01,687 JUST LAST MONTH, THEY SAID, "AMERICANS WHO HAVE BEEN FULLY 132 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:05,591 VACCINATED DO NOT NEED A BOOSTER SHOT AT THIS TIME." 133 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:06,492 FIRST MASKS, NOW THIS. 134 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,027 WHAT ELSE WILL THE C.D.C. 135 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,129 SUDDENLY FLIP ON? 136 00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:14,000 COULD I HAVE BEEN EATING RAW CHICKEN THIS WHOLE TIME, LIKE 137 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:18,471 SOME RICH GUY'S LABRADOODLE? 138 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:19,906 MY COAT COULD BE SO GLOSSY. 139 00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:23,509 SO, VACCINE SITES ARE ABOUT TO RAMP UP AGAIN. 140 00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:26,012 YOU HEAR THAT, MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WHO ARE STILL ON THE 141 00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:28,014 FENCE ABOUT THE FIRST DOSE? 142 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,217 BECAUSE THE REST OF US ARE ABOUT TO GO BACK FOR THIRDS. 143 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,487 WE'RE OFFERING YOU THAT LAST SLICE OF PIZZA BEFORE WE TAKE 144 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:41,327 IT, AND IN THIS CASE, THE PEPPERONI DOESN'T KILL YOU. 145 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,595 SO, I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO GET VACCINATED, BUT ALSO BE CAREFUL 146 00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,431 WHICH SHOT YOU GET. 147 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:48,901 BECAUSE RECENTLY IN NORWAY, A MAN WAS SENTENCED FOR SMUGGLING 148 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:53,339 80 POUNDS OF SPEED DISGUISED AS COVID VACCINES. 149 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,308 THERE'S AN EASY WAY TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE: IF YOU GOT THE REAL 150 00:07:55,374 --> 00:08:00,146 VACCINE, SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE FEVER AND FATIGUE. 151 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,515 IF YOU GOT THE NORWEGIAN SHOT, SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE NOT 152 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:06,953 BLINKING, GRINDING YOUR TEETH DOWN TO NUBS, AND STAYING UP 153 00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:14,026 72 HOURS RECORDING A HEAVY-METAL CONCEPT ALBUM ABOUT ELVES. 154 00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:22,468 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 155 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,170 THEN THE FEVER AND FATIGUE. 156 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:29,575 ON THE PLUS SIDE: EVERY DOSE OF SPEED IS A BOOSTER SHOT. 157 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:31,978 ( LAUGHTER ) ACCORDING TO NORWEGIAN BORDER 158 00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:34,480 POLICE, THE SMUGGLER HID THE DRUGS IN THE ROOF OF HIS VAN, 159 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:38,017 AND THEN COVERED IT IN MAGNETIC STICKERS WITH THE BIONTECH 160 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:44,023 LOGO. 161 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,458 THAT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY. 162 00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:46,692 IF IT WERE REAL VACCINES, YOU WOULDN'T NEED THE STICKERS TO BE 163 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:50,496 MAGNETIC. 164 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:54,500 THE MAN'S LAWYERS SAY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS SMUGGLING, AND 165 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:57,436 THE ONLY REASON HIS FINGERPRINTS WERE ON THE BAGS OF DRUGS IS 166 00:08:57,503 --> 00:09:01,641 BECAUSE ONE OF THE BAGS FELL FROM THE HIDDEN COMPARTMENT AND 167 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:02,708 HIT HIS HEAD DURING THE JOURNEY. 168 00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:06,479 REMINDS ME OF HOW ISAAC NEWTON DISCOVERED GRAVITY... 169 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,014 WHILE ON METH. 170 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,815 (AS NEWTON) "NO, NO, NO, HEAR ME OUT, WHAT 171 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,083 IF THERE'S THIS INVISIBLE FORCE THAT MAKES EVERYTHING IN THE 172 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:13,519 UNIVERSE ATTRACTED TO EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE! 173 00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:18,491 HEY, WE SHOULD RECORD A CONCEPT ALBUM! 174 00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:25,765 ABOUT ELVES!" ( APPLAUSE ) 175 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,967 >> GOT TO BE HEAVY METAL. 176 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:31,804 >> Stephen: THEN LET'S CLEAN THE CASTLE WITH A TOOTHBRUSH! 177 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,572 ( LAUGHTER ) IN OTHER COVID NEWS, PEOPLE 178 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,042 VACATIONING AT NATIONAL PARKS WILL NEED TO PACK A LIL' 179 00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:38,010 SOMETHING EXTRA, BECAUSE THE PARK SERVICE ANNOUNCED THAT ALL 180 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,246 VISITORS MUST BRING A FACE MASK. 181 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,014 THAT'S NEW. 182 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,016 UP TILL NOW, THE ONLY THING YOU HAD TO BRING WAS THE FALSE 183 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:48,220 BELIEF THAT YOU WERE GOING TO ENJOY HIKING FOR THREE DAYS. 184 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:49,088 ( LAUGHTER ) "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE SAY THAT 185 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,489 HIKING REQUIRED WALKING? 186 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:52,158 AND THE WHOLE THING IS OUTSIDE? 187 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:54,493 WHY? 188 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,028 DON'T SAY SCENERY, OKAY? 189 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,497 I SEEN IT FROM THE CAR WINDOW. 190 00:09:58,564 --> 00:10:02,001 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WALKERY." 191 00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,202 IT'S NOT JUST VISITORS. 192 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,439 EVERYBODY, INCLUDING EMPLOYEES AND CONTRACTORS, WILL HAVE TO 193 00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:09,575 WEAR A MASK INSIDE ALL NATIONAL PARK SERVICE BUILDINGS AND EVEN 194 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:10,476 IN CROWDED OUTDOOR SPOTS. 195 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:13,546 WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE. 196 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,215 EVERY HOUR, OLD FAITHFUL SPRAYS ITS FLUIDS EVERYWHERE. 197 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,484 NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE STILL DIVIDED ABOUT WEARING MASKS, SO 198 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:22,488 THE PARK SERVICE HAS RELEASED A MASK P.S.A. THAT APPEALS TO BOTH 199 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:26,025 SIDES OF THE DEBATE: >> ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT THE 200 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:29,195 SPREAD OF COVID-19. 201 00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,029 SO, WEAR A MASK. 202 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:30,463 PSYCH! 203 00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:31,998 JUST KIDDING! 204 00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:34,467 MASKS MAKE YOU INFERTILE! 205 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:37,937 FAUCI IS A ROBOT PROGRAMMED BY GEORGE SOROS! 206 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:38,804 WOOO! 207 00:10:38,871 --> 00:10:42,475 LET'S SET OFF FIREWORKS IN THE RED WOODS! 208 00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,010 IT'S BROWN BEAR SUMMER, (BLEEP)! 209 00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:47,246 HAHAHAHA! 210 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,349 >> STEPHEN: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 211 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:54,487 MY GUESTS ARE THE WONDERFUL AMANDA PEET AND SOCCER 212 00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:56,022 AFICIONADO ROGER BENNETT. 213 00:10:56,088 --> 00:11:00,359 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL BE TALKING WITH CNN'S CLARISSA WARD 214 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:01,794 FROM KABUL. 215 00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:02,661 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 216 00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:38,664 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 217 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:39,932 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 218 00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:41,300 WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW"! 219 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:46,906 GIVE IT UP FOR JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN," EVERYBODY! 220 00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:52,878 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) JON, IN JUST A FEW MINUTES A 221 00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:55,781 WOMAN I HAVE BEEN LOOKING TO INTERVIEW FOR FIVE YEARS, AMANDA 222 00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:58,884 PEET, IS GOING TO COME ON. 223 00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:01,487 >> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS. 224 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:06,525 >> Stephen: SHE CAME ON IN THE EARLY YEARS OF THE SHOW. 225 00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:09,695 SHE'S BEEN AVOIDING ME FOR FIVE YEARS IS WHAT I'M SAYING. 226 00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:10,830 I HOPE IT GOES WELL. 227 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,731 >> Jon: I THINK IT'S GOING TO GO WELL. 228 00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:16,869 >> Stephen: I HOPE SHE DOESN'T ASK ME TO SLIDE INTO ANYTHING. 229 00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,804 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Jon: HEY, HEY, HEY! 230 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:22,007 >> Stephen: AFTER THAT SOCCER AFICIONADO AND LOVER OF AMERICA 231 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,109 ROGER BENNETT WILL BE HERE. 232 00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:26,645 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BUT RIGHT NOW, JOINING US FROM 233 00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:29,048 KABUL, AFGHANISTAN, IT'S CNN'S CHIEF INTERNATIONAL 234 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:32,418 CORRESPONDENT, CLARISSA WARD! 235 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:36,822 CLARISSA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 236 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:37,890 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. 237 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:41,894 >> Stephen: WHAT TIME IS IT IN KABUL RIGHT NOW? 238 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:48,334 >> IT'S REALLY, REALLY LATE, BUT I AM SO SLEEP DEPRIVED THAT I 239 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,436 HONESTLY CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT TIME IT IS. 240 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:54,406 IT'S NOT MY LAST LIVE SHOT YET SO MY NIGHT IS STILL GOING ON 241 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:55,574 EVEN AFTER THIS. 242 00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:57,776 >> Stephen: I'LL TRY NOT TO TAXI TOO MUCH IN THE NEXT FEW 243 00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:00,212 MINUTES BECAUSE I KNOW YOU HAVE MORE WORK TO DO. 244 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,748 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN AFGHANISTAN ON THIS PARTICULAR 245 00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,917 TRIP? 246 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,585 >> THIS TRIP, JUST OVER TWO WEEKS. 247 00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:08,821 >> Stephen: AND YOU HAVE BEEN WITH THE TALIBAN FOR SOME OF 248 00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:10,289 THAT, CORRECT? 249 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:10,756 >> YES. 250 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,291 >> Stephen: OKAY. 251 00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,692 QUITE A LOT OF IT. 252 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:18,030 >> Stephen: WHAT'S IT LIKE -- WHAT WAS IT LIKE IN KABUL AS THE 253 00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:20,132 TALIBAN CAME IN TO TAKE OVER THE CITY? 254 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:24,503 WHAT WAS IT LIKE ON THE GROUND THERE? 255 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:28,240 >> IT WAS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING SHOCK, HONESTLY. 256 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:32,244 THREE DAYS EARLIER, I HAD HEARD INTELLIGENCE OFFICIALS WERE 257 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,747 SAYING POTENTIALLY THE CITY COULD BE SURROUNDED IN 30 DAYS, 258 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:40,152 AND I SAID THAT WAS HYPERBOLE. 259 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,188 SUDDENLY, THERE THEY WERE, THEY WERE OUTSIDE THE GATE. 260 00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:44,490 A COUPLE HOURS LATER, THEY WERE INSIDE THE CITY. 261 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:48,594 AND BY THE NIGHT, THEY'D ESTABLISHED CHECKPOINTS 262 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:52,898 EVERYWHERE, AND WE WOKE UP IN THE ISLAMIC EMIRATE OF 263 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:53,799 AFGHANISTAN, FOREVER CHANGED. 264 00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:56,402 >> Stephen: YOU SAY IT WAS A SHOCK TO YOU. 265 00:13:56,468 --> 00:14:00,306 IT WAS CERTAINLY, AS THE ADMINISTRATION HAS SAID, IT 266 00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:01,540 SURPRISED THEM. 267 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:05,911 WERE THE TALIBAN THAT YOU WERE WITH, WERE THEY SURPRISED HOW 268 00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:08,447 QUICKLY KABUL FELL? 269 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:12,451 >> IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK THAT BECAUSE I DID TALK ABOUT 270 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:17,056 THIS A LOT WITH TALIBAN FIGHTERS, AND THEY HAD BEEN 271 00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:21,093 SURPRISED JUST BY THE SPEED WITH WHICH THEY'VE BEEN ABLE TO TO 272 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,463 JUST GO THROUGH ALL THESE DIFFERENT CITIES, OFTEN WITHOUT 273 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,732 A SHOT FIRED, STEPHEN. 274 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,601 AND AFGHAN FORCES JUST MELTING AWAY. 275 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:31,437 WE DROVE PAST A CHECKPOINT ON OUR WAY INTO TALIBAN TERRITORY 276 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:36,675 ABOUT A WEEK AGO, AND WE SAW AFGHAN FORCES RUNNING DOWN THE 277 00:14:36,742 --> 00:14:40,479 HILL FROM THIS BASE, HAILING DOWN A CIVILIAN CAR, AND JUST 278 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:44,316 BOOKING IT OUT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE APPETITE TO 279 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,251 FIGHT. 280 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:47,219 THEY KNEW THEY WERE GETTING BEATEN, AND THEY 281 00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:49,154 COUNTER-INTERESTED IN FIGHTING TO THE DEATH. 282 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:52,458 >> Stephen: WHAT ARE THINGS LIKE ON THE STREETS OF KABUL, 283 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:55,461 SAY, TODAY? 284 00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:58,264 >> IT WAS INTERESTING BECAUSE YOU DEFINITELY SAW A LOT MORE 285 00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:58,831 PEOPLE BACK ON THE STREETS. 286 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,866 I WAS IN A BUSY MARKET. 287 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,435 I'D SAY LIKE HALF OF THE STORES WERE OPEN. 288 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:13,279 WE VISITED A BURQA STORE, A MAN SELLING BURQUAS WHICH WAS THE 289 00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:14,780 ALL COVERING GARMENT REQUIRED BY THE TALIBAN. 290 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,384 HE SAID HE WAS DOING SWIFT BUSINESS BECAUSE WOMEN ARE SO 291 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:21,353 FRIGHTENED NOW THAT THE TALIBAN IS HERE THEY'RE ALL GOING OUT 292 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,188 AND BUYING BURQUAS. 293 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:27,026 ONE THING THAT WAS STRIKING IS, OKAY, LIFE LOOKS KIND OF NORMAL 294 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:30,996 AND THEN YOU LOOK CLOSELY AND YOU'RE, LIKE, WHERE ARE ALL THE 295 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:31,764 WOMEN? 296 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,464 THERE ARE NO WOMEN ON THE STREETS. 297 00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:33,098 VERY FEW. 298 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:34,933 >> Stephen: WHERE ARE THEY? 299 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,035 IN HIDING? 300 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,470 >> THEY'RE IN HIDING, THEY'RE AT HOME. 301 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:41,707 WHAT'S INTERESTING, IT'S NOT EVEN THAT THE TALIBAN SAID WOMEN 302 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,476 SHOULD NOT BE OUT ON THE STREETS, BUT IT'S JUST THAT 303 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:48,414 PEOPLE HAVE THIS MEMORY OF THE LATE '90s AND THE EARLY 304 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,684 2000s AND EVEN MORE RECENTLY IN SOME TERRITORY THAT THE 305 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:55,521 TALIBAN HAS BEEN ABLE TO TAKE IN RURAL AREAS, AND, SO, THEY'RE 306 00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,956 VOLUNTARILY NOT GOING OUT BECAUSE THEY'RE FRIGHTENED, 307 00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,792 BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO RUN INTO PROBLEMS. 308 00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:03,929 I SPOKE TO ONE WOMAN WHO SAID HER SISTER WENT OUT TO BUY MILK 309 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:08,467 AND THE GROCERY STORE GUY WAS, LIKE, YOU REALLY SHOULD BE DOING 310 00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:12,871 YOUR HIJAB DIFFERENTLY, YOUR COVERING MORE APPROPRIATELY. 311 00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:15,574 THE TALIBAN DIDN'T TELL HIM TO SAY THAT, BUT IMMEDIATELY YOU 312 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,110 START TO SEE IT, STEPHEN, PEOPLE'S ATTITUDES START 313 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:21,780 CHANGING BECAUSE THEY THINK THAT'S WHAT'S REQUIRED OR 314 00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:23,482 DESIRED BY THE NEW RULING POWER. 315 00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:27,653 >> Stephen: SO MUCH OF THE POPULATION THERE IS, I THINK, 316 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,389 UNDER 25 YEARS OLD. 317 00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:38,497 IS THERE A MEMORY GENERALLY OF WHAT THE LAST TALIBAN REGIME WAS 318 00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:39,865 LIKE? 319 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,768 >> THE UNDER-20s OBVIOUSLY DON'T REALLY HAVE A MEMORY. 320 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,002 THEY ASSOCIATE THE TALIBAN MORE WITH AN INSURGENCY. 321 00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:46,004 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN HEAR THAT PLANE OVERHEAD. 322 00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:49,508 U.S. PLANES ARE GOING BACK AND FORTH ALL THE TIME EVACUATING 323 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:50,743 PEOPLE. 324 00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:54,546 SO THEY ASSOCIATE THE TALIBAN WITH THIS BLOODY, UGLY, DECADES' 325 00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:55,714 LONG INSURGENCY. 326 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:58,817 AND THE TALIBAN SPOKESPERSON GAVE A PRESS CONFERENCE TODAY 327 00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:02,788 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PERSON, AND IT WAS AMAZING TO SEE THESE 328 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:06,258 AFGHAN JOURNALISTS STANDING UP NOT PULLING ANY PUNCHES. 329 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:12,631 THIS TALIBAN SPOKESPERSON SAID WE'VE ISSUED A BLANKET AMNESTY, 330 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,899 EVERYONE WILL BE FORGIVEN. 331 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:17,936 THIS AFGHAN JOURNALIST STOOD UP AND SAID, BUT WILL WE FORGIVE 332 00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:21,273 YOU FOR ALL THE PEOPLE YOU KILLED, ALL THE CIVILIANS WHO 333 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,908 DIED IN THOSE CAR BOMBS? 334 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:28,680 AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, MY GOODNESS, THE EXTRAORDINARY 335 00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:31,450 COURAGE AND TENACITY OF THIS YOUNGER GENERATION OF 336 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,584 JOURNALISTS. 337 00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:34,386 THE TALIBAN, REMAINS TO BE SEEN WHETHER OR NOT THEY HAVE 338 00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:36,522 CHANGED, BUT THE AFGHAN PEOPLE HAVE CHANGED, AND THEY ARE GOING 339 00:17:36,588 --> 00:17:38,690 TO STAND UP FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN. 340 00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:42,661 >> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT THOSE AFGHANS WHO HELPED THE 341 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:43,929 AMERICANS? 342 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:48,734 THERE ARE SOME 70,000 TO 80,000 THAT I'VE SEEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT 343 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:51,703 WHO WANT TO GET OUT OR AT LEAST A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF THOSE WANT 344 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:53,906 TO GET OUT OF AFGHANISTAN. 345 00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:59,378 HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING NEW FROM AMERICAN FORCES OR AMERICAN 346 00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:03,882 OFFICIALS OVER IN AFGHANISTAN ABOUT HOW THAT MIGHT BE 347 00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:08,387 ACHIEVED, AND WILL THEY STAY LONG ENOUGH TO GET EVERYBODY OUT 348 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:12,524 WHO IS AFRAID OF THESE REPRISALS? 349 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:19,665 >> YOU KNOW, I PUSHED ADMIRAL JOHN KIRBY ON THIS, THE PENTAGON 350 00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:21,934 SPOKESPERSON, EARLIER TODAY, AND THE BOTTOM LINE IS, NO. 351 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,168 I TRIED TO EXTRACT. 352 00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:25,871 I SAID, PLEASE, I'M THE ONE HERE ON THE GROUND, THE AMERICAN IN 353 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,274 KABUL WHO HAS TO LOOK THESE PEOPLE IN THE EYE WHEN THEY'RE 354 00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:32,544 ASKING ME, PLEASE, CAN AMERICA HELP GET US OUT? 355 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,547 YOU KNOW, WE WORKED FOR THE AMERICANS TEN YEARS AND NOW 356 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,851 WE'RE GETTING DEATH THREATS AND CAN YOU GIVE US AN ASSURANCE ALL 357 00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:40,552 THESE PEOPLE WILL GET OUT? 358 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:44,356 THE REALITY IS THERE IS NO ASSURANCE. 359 00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:48,961 THEY'RE TRYING TO EXPEDITE THE PROCESS AND REDUCE SOME OF THE 360 00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:51,497 BUREAUCRACY MAKING IT SO DIFFICULT, TAKING SOME PEOPLE 361 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:55,234 YEARS TO GET THEIR VISA THAT WOULD ALLOW THEM TO GO TO THE 362 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,504 U.S., BUT THERE IS NO EASY, QUICK ANSWER. 363 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:01,273 SO MANY PEOPLE HERE, I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU, STEPHEN, MY PHONE 364 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,842 IS RINGING NONSTOP. 365 00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:08,847 SO MANY PEOPLE FEEL ABANDONED, THEY FEEL THEY HAVE BEEN CASTLE 366 00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,518 ASIDE AND THEY ARE DEEPLY FEARFUL AND FULL OF BITTERNESS. 367 00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:16,221 >> Stephen: MY UNDERSTANDING IS THAT, BEFORE THEY TOOK KABUL, 368 00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:19,157 THE TALIBAN SECURED BORDER CROSSINGS INTO NEIGHBORING 369 00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:20,425 COUNTRIES. 370 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:24,296 IS THERE A SENSE THAT, ONCE THE UNITED STATES LEAVES, THAT THEY 371 00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:26,832 WON'T ALLOW ANY OF THESE PEOPLE TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY, THAT 372 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,301 THEY'LL BASICALLY LOCK EVERYONE IN? 373 00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:30,702 >> I DON'T THINK THERE'S A SENSE OF THAT YET. 374 00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:34,373 I MEAN, THE TALIBAN HAS DEFINITELY SAID, PLEASE DON'T 375 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:37,843 LEAVE, BECAUSE THEY'RE AWARE, FROM A PUBLIC RELATIONS 376 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:43,615 PERSPECTIVE THAT THESE IMAGES OF THIS CRUSH OF HUMANITY 377 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,920 DESPERATELY CLINGING TO THE FUSELAGE OF U.S. AIR FORCE 378 00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:50,188 CARRIERS TRYING TO GET OUT TO HAVE THE COUNTRY, THEY'RE AWARE 379 00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:53,258 THAT LOOKS REALLY BAD FOR THEM AND THEY'RE TRYING IN THIS 380 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:56,762 MOMENT TO SIGNAL THEY ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF TALIBAN, THAT 381 00:19:56,828 --> 00:20:00,732 THEY CAN GOVERN, THAT THEY'RE MORE DIPLOMATIC, AND, SO, 382 00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:04,503 OBVIOUSLY, THEY DON'T WANT SCENES ON THE GROUND THAT 383 00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:05,771 DIRECTLY COUNTERTHAT NARRATIVE. 384 00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:08,640 I DON'T WANT HAVE THE SENSE YET THAT THEY ARE GOING TO DIRECTLY 385 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,043 BAN PEOPLE FROM LEAVING, BUT OBVIOUSLY THAT'S THE GREAT FEAR. 386 00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:14,613 THE OTHER GREAT FEAR IS THAT, ONCE THE AMERICANS PACK UP AND 387 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:19,384 LIFT UP THE DRAW BRIDGE, HOW DO THEY, THEN, AFGHAN PEOPLE WHO 388 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:24,890 HAVE WORKED WITH THE U.S., HOW DO THEY FACILITATE THE 389 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:28,927 PAPERWORK, GET THAT DOCUMENT IN, WHO CAN THEY SPEAK TO? 390 00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:32,831 THESE PEOPLE THOUGHT THEY HAD MORE TIME TO PREPARE FOR THIS 391 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:33,932 MOMENT, MAYBE MONTHS. 392 00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:35,067 INSTEAD, IT WAS HOURS. 393 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:36,835 >> Stephen: WELL, I KNOW YOU'VE GOT TO GO, BUT I WANT TO 394 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,304 ASK YOU ONE LAST QUESTION IS THAT THE PEOPLE ON THE STREETS 395 00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:44,176 OF KABUL OR AROUND AFGHANISTAN, NOT THE TALIBAN WHO HAVE COME IN 396 00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:46,078 BUT THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH THE AMERICANS AND 397 00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:49,281 THE AMERICAN PRESENCE THERE FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS, WHAT DO THEY 398 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:54,119 THINK OF THE AMERICAN WITHDRAWAL AND OF AMERICANS NOW? 399 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:57,255 >> YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT POINT TO 400 00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:58,590 CLARIFY. 401 00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:02,494 THE AFGHANS THAT I HAVE SPOKEN TO DO NOT BLAME AMERICA FOR 402 00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:04,229 WITHDRAWING FROM AFGHANISTAN. 403 00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:07,599 THEY DID NOT EXPECT AMERICA TO CONTINUE TO FIGHT ANOTHER 404 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:15,073 COUNTRY'S WAR FOR DECADES MORE, AND THEY UNDERSTAND FULLY THAT 405 00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:19,077 AFGHAN PEOPLE MUST ASSUME RSPONSIBILITY OF THEIR OWN 406 00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:20,312 COUNTRY. 407 00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,648 WHERE THE BITTERNESS, WHERE THE SADNESS, WHERE THE FEAR COMES 408 00:21:22,714 --> 00:21:27,085 FROM IS THE MANNER IN WHICH THIS WITHDRAWAL WAS EXECUTED, THE 409 00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:32,591 CHAOS OF IT, THE HURRIED NATURE OF IT, THE FACT THAT MORE 410 00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:36,161 CONCESSIONS WEREN'T EXTRACTED FROM THE TALIBAN DURING THOSE 411 00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,430 NEGOTIATIONS, THAT'S WHERE THE HEARTACHE COMES FROM, THAT'S 412 00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:42,100 WHERE THE BITTERNESS COMES FROM, AND THAT'S WHERE THE RAGE COMES 413 00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:43,235 FROM. 414 00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:44,302 >> Stephen: WELL, CLARISSA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING 415 00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,638 TIME TO TALK TO US. 416 00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:49,174 HER NEW BOOK "ON ALL FRONTS" IS AVAILABLE NOW. 417 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:50,342 CLARISSA WARD, EVERYBODY! 418 00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:52,477 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AMANDA PEET! 419 00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:53,378 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 420 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:08,593 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 421 00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:11,129 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 422 00:22:11,196 --> 00:22:16,234 WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW"! 423 00:22:16,301 --> 00:22:19,638 THANK YOU, JON. 424 00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:20,872 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: HEY! 425 00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:25,077 >> Stephen: JOINING ME NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS AN 426 00:22:25,143 --> 00:22:27,813 ACTRESS AND A WRITER. 427 00:22:27,879 --> 00:22:29,147 HER NEW SHOW IS "THE CHAIR" ON NETFLIX, WHICH SHE CREATED AND 428 00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,215 WROTE. 429 00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:33,418 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," AMANDA PEET! 430 00:22:33,485 --> 00:22:43,462 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 431 00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:57,042 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 432 00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:59,010 >> Stephen: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 433 00:22:59,077 --> 00:23:00,345 THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON HERE, SAYS ON A LITTLE CARD HERE, WAS 434 00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:00,679 FEBRUARY 2016. 435 00:23:00,746 --> 00:23:04,049 WHY? 436 00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:06,284 WHAT DID I DO TO YOU? 437 00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:08,386 >> APPARENTLY, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A LOT OF WORK. 438 00:23:08,453 --> 00:23:10,822 >> Stephen: YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR AMANDA PEET ONCE 439 00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:12,724 A MONTH FOR FIVE YEARS. 440 00:23:12,791 --> 00:23:15,327 WHERE'S MY AMANDA PEET? 441 00:23:15,393 --> 00:23:17,329 >> I'M RIGHT HERE! 442 00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:22,901 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU GOT THE NEW 443 00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:24,069 SERIES. 444 00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:27,239 YOU HAVE BEEN AN ACTRESS 25 YEARS, NOW YOU'VE WRITTEN AND 445 00:23:27,305 --> 00:23:33,712 CREATE YOUR OWN SERIES CALLED "THE CHAIR." 446 00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:37,549 WHAT IS "THE CHAIR" ABOUT? 447 00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:39,985 >> A CHAIR IN AN ENGLISH DEPARTMENT -- 448 00:23:40,051 --> 00:23:42,587 >> Stephen: A CHAIR, NOT LIKE A CHAIR. 449 00:23:42,654 --> 00:23:43,355 >> A CHAIR. 450 00:23:43,421 --> 00:23:44,189 >> Stephen: MM-HMM. 451 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:45,857 ANYTHING TO SELL A TICKET. 452 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:49,461 THE CHAIR OF AN ENGLISH DEPARTMENT. 453 00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:50,262 >> YES. 454 00:23:50,328 --> 00:23:52,931 AND SANDRA O. PLAYS THE CHAIR. 455 00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:54,266 >> Stephen: FANTASTIC,. 456 00:23:54,332 --> 00:23:57,135 I WANTED TO MAKE A ROMANTIC COMEDY SO SHE BASICALLY COMES ON 457 00:23:57,202 --> 00:24:01,139 AS THE CHAIR OF THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT, AND THE PERSON SHE 458 00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:03,842 LOVES TRANSGRESSES IN THE CLASSROOM AND SHE SORT OF HAS TO 459 00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:05,510 DECIDE HOW TO HANDLE IT. 460 00:24:05,577 --> 00:24:11,349 >> Stephen: THE PERSON SHE LOVES IN THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT. 461 00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:11,950 >> HER COLLEAGUE. 462 00:24:12,017 --> 00:24:14,352 >> Stephen: HER COLLEAGUE. 463 00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:17,856 HE'S HER SUPERVISOR SO SHE HAS TO HAND DOWN THE 464 00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:19,724 CONSEQUENCES AFTER HE TRANSGRESSES. 465 00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:23,628 >> Stephen: A SCENE WITH SANDRA O. AND THE GREAT HOLLAND 466 00:24:23,695 --> 00:24:24,329 TAYLOR. 467 00:24:24,396 --> 00:24:25,430 WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? 468 00:24:25,497 --> 00:24:28,733 >> SHE ALSO HAS TO TRY TO TIGHTEN UP THE BUDGET AT THE 469 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,637 ENGLISH DEPARTMENT, SO SHE'S BEEN TOLD TO LET GO TO HOLLAND 470 00:24:32,704 --> 00:24:35,507 TAYLOR, SO THIS IS -- >> Stephen: DOES SHE HAVE 471 00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:36,608 TENURE, HOLLAND TAYLOR? 472 00:24:36,675 --> 00:24:37,742 >> SHE DOES. 473 00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,745 >> Stephen: THAT'S HARD TO LET SOMEONE GO WHO HAS TENURE. 474 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:41,546 >> THAT'S TRUE. 475 00:24:41,613 --> 00:24:43,715 THIS IS ALL BROUGHT UP IN THE SHOW. 476 00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:45,784 >> Stephen: SPOILER ALERT! 477 00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:48,653 PEOPLE WITH TENURE CAN DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING ( BLEEP ) THING 478 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:49,120 THEY WANT. 479 00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:50,288 THEY CAN. 480 00:24:50,355 --> 00:24:50,822 NOT THAT. 481 00:24:50,889 --> 00:24:54,893 CAN'T DO THAT ON CBS. 482 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:55,861 >> WELL -- >> Stephen: I HAVE TENURE AT 483 00:24:55,927 --> 00:24:56,828 THIS POINT. 484 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:57,629 JIM? 485 00:24:57,696 --> 00:25:01,566 >> YOU LOOK AT YOUR EVALUATIONS YET? 486 00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:02,100 >> YES. 487 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,069 AND WHAT DID THEY SAY? 488 00:25:04,135 --> 00:25:10,876 THAT I'M TOO EXCITED. 489 00:25:10,942 --> 00:25:13,645 WAIT A MINUTE, WAS THAT ALWAYS IN HERE? 490 00:25:13,712 --> 00:25:16,514 >> I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO REDECORATE. 491 00:25:16,581 --> 00:25:20,552 >> I GAVE HIM A HAND ( BLEEP ) IN HIS CAR WHEN I GOT TENURE TO 492 00:25:20,619 --> 00:25:21,553 CELEBRATE. 493 00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:24,756 >> THAT'S THE PRESIDENT OF THE COLLEGE FROM 1924. 494 00:25:24,823 --> 00:25:27,259 >> LOOKS LIKE THE GUY I GAVE A HAND ( BLEEP ) TO. 495 00:25:27,325 --> 00:25:32,831 >> HOW IS THAT A CELEBRATION FOR YOU. 496 00:25:32,898 --> 00:25:37,135 >> GOOD POINT, GIVES AN ORGASM WHOEVER HE IS. 497 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,870 >> Stephen: SHE'S GOT A POINT. 498 00:25:38,937 --> 00:25:41,873 I HEARD YOU WROTE IT WITH SANDRA O. IN MIND. 499 00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:43,275 ARE YOU GUYS OLD FRIENDS? 500 00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:44,709 >> I LOVED HER FROM AFAR. 501 00:25:44,776 --> 00:25:47,846 I SAW HER IN A PLAY IN 1998. 502 00:25:47,913 --> 00:25:49,881 I LOVED HER FROM AFAR. 503 00:25:49,948 --> 00:25:53,084 AND, SO, I HAD SOME HELP GETTING IN TOUCH WITH HER. 504 00:25:53,151 --> 00:25:53,818 >> Stephen: HOW? 505 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:55,453 BECAUSE I'M NOT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 506 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:56,955 >> Stephen: BUT YOU'RE AMANDA PEET. 507 00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:59,658 YOU CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH PEOPLE. 508 00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:00,325 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 509 00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,660 WHY DOES THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH? 510 00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:02,427 YOU HAVE BEEN AROUND. 511 00:26:02,494 --> 00:26:04,996 YOU CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH PEOPLE. 512 00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:10,802 >> WELL, I -- >> Stephen: GET ME SANDRA O.! 513 00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:11,403 CLICK. 514 00:26:11,469 --> 00:26:12,704 >> THAT'S HOW MY LIFE IS. 515 00:26:12,771 --> 00:26:13,271 JUST LIKE THAT. 516 00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:16,341 >> Stephen: IT COULD BE! 517 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:20,145 MY FRIEND SARAH PAULSON WHO IS ON SOCIAL MEDIA, SHE MADE THE 518 00:26:20,211 --> 00:26:23,315 OVERTURE TO SANDRA O. AND SAID CAN YOU READ THIS SCRIPT. 519 00:26:23,381 --> 00:26:29,120 >> Stephen: DID YOU ASK SARAH PAULSON TO SLIDE INTO SANDRA 520 00:26:29,187 --> 00:26:30,021 O.'S D.M.s? 521 00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:32,157 IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING? 522 00:26:32,223 --> 00:26:33,024 >> IS THAT LINGO? 523 00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:35,126 >> Stephen: YEAH, I SLID INTO HER D.M.s. 524 00:26:35,193 --> 00:26:37,128 >> THAT'S NOT JUST YOU COMING UP WITH THAT? 525 00:26:37,195 --> 00:26:39,998 >> Stephen: I PROMISE YOU IT'S NOT JUST ME. 526 00:26:40,065 --> 00:26:41,066 >> FOR REAL? 527 00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:44,235 >> Stephen: I DON'T SLIDE INTO ANYTHING AT THIS AGE. 528 00:26:44,302 --> 00:26:44,869 57, BABY. 529 00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:46,738 NO SLIDING. 530 00:26:46,805 --> 00:26:47,472 >> I'M TURNING 50. 531 00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:48,373 >> Stephen: WHAT? 532 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,208 I WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED IT. 533 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,076 I WOULD NEVER! 534 00:26:51,142 --> 00:26:53,511 I HONESTLY WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED IT. 535 00:26:53,578 --> 00:26:56,881 >> THIS IS AMANDA PEET, GET ME -- BLAH, BLAH. 536 00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:59,718 >> Stephen: HE'S VERY GOOD! 537 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:02,854 ( LAUGHTER ) OKAY, OKAY, SO SHE SAID YEAH. 538 00:27:02,921 --> 00:27:06,725 >> SO SHE SAID, YES, I WILL MEET HER, AND THEN THE REST IS 539 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:07,993 HISTORY. 540 00:27:08,059 --> 00:27:11,062 >> Stephen: AND, AS ONE OF THE - NEWS, THE CREATOR OF THIS THING, 541 00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:15,233 I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE TAKING THIS OPPORTUNITY FOR SOME SWEET 542 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:16,501 PAYBACK. 543 00:27:16,568 --> 00:27:18,636 I HAVE BEEN TOLD THIS IS PAYBACK BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS 544 00:27:18,703 --> 00:27:19,704 IS PAYBACK. 545 00:27:19,771 --> 00:27:20,972 >> OKAY. 546 00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:23,108 BECAUSE FOR SO MANY YEARS PEOPLE WERE TOUCHING ME AND PRIMPING ME 547 00:27:23,174 --> 00:27:27,645 AND POKING AT ME IN BETWEEN TAKES AND FIXING MY HAIR AND MY 548 00:27:27,712 --> 00:27:31,249 MAKEUP AND IT WAS ALL ABOUT, YOU KNOW, OBJECTIFYING A PERSON, SO 549 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:38,456 WITH ALL THE MEN ON MY SHOW, I JUST HAD THIS BIZARRE FEMINIST 550 00:27:38,523 --> 00:27:39,491 REVENGE. 551 00:27:39,557 --> 00:27:41,126 >> Stephen: SO YOU'RE OBJECTIFYING THIS MAN RIGHT 552 00:27:41,192 --> 00:27:44,462 HERE, TURNING HIM INTO A SEX OBJECT, ARE YOU? 553 00:27:44,529 --> 00:27:47,699 >> I AM TURNING RON CRAWFORD INTO A SEX OBJECT, YES. 554 00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:52,404 >> Stephen: NOW, I UNDERSTAND SARAH PAULSON, DECIDES BEING 555 00:27:52,470 --> 00:27:56,841 YOUR BOOKER, EVIDENTLY -- ( LAUGHTER ) 556 00:27:56,908 --> 00:28:02,113 -- YOUR FIXER IN CASTING, SHE ALSO HELPED YOU EDIT THIS THING, 557 00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:03,882 BUT KIND OF, LIKE, ON THE FLY. 558 00:28:03,948 --> 00:28:06,317 >> YES, SHE'S VERY BUSY, AS YOU CAN PROBABLY IMAGINE. 559 00:28:06,384 --> 00:28:10,255 >> Stephen: SURE, SURE, WITH THE HORROR STORIES. 560 00:28:10,321 --> 00:28:12,424 >> SHE ACTUALLY HAS A CAREER. 561 00:28:12,490 --> 00:28:14,859 ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) IN A GOOD WAY! 562 00:28:14,926 --> 00:28:18,163 THERE'S NO "OH! 563 00:28:18,229 --> 00:28:19,364 ." 564 00:28:19,431 --> 00:28:20,865 >> Stephen: THIS IS WHY YOU DIDN'T COME BACK FOR FIVE YEARS. 565 00:28:20,932 --> 00:28:24,569 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 566 00:28:24,636 --> 00:28:25,837 >> OH, MY GOD... 567 00:28:25,904 --> 00:28:29,274 SO -- SO MY KIDS, THE ONE WHO'S ON SOCIAL MEDIA, IS NOW KIND OF 568 00:28:29,340 --> 00:28:37,115 OBSESSED WITH HER BECAUSE NOW SHE'S SARAH PAULSON NOT JUST 569 00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:38,249 AUNTIE BIRD. 570 00:28:38,316 --> 00:28:42,454 AUNTIE BIRD IS MY FRIEND BUT NOW SHE'S SARAH PAULSON FROM 571 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:43,655 AMERICAN HORROR. 572 00:28:43,721 --> 00:28:45,323 SHE'LL DRIVE UP, SHE STAYS IN THE CAR, I'VE RUN OUT WITH THE 573 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,359 PAGES I'VE WORKED ON AND WE SIT THEM IN THE CAR AND READ THEM TO 574 00:28:48,426 --> 00:28:50,161 SEE IF THEY SUCK OR NOT. 575 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:54,399 >> Stephen: SO SHE WAS THE SUCK JUDGE? 576 00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:55,333 ( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 577 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,935 >> I SLID RIGHT INTO THAT. 578 00:28:57,001 --> 00:28:58,636 >> Stephen: I DID NOT. 579 00:28:58,703 --> 00:29:02,607 I PROMISE. 580 00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,709 ( APPLAUSE ) SO THIS IS OPPORTUNITY ONLY 581 00:29:04,776 --> 00:29:06,678 THING YOU'VE WRITTEN. 582 00:29:06,744 --> 00:29:10,615 >> IT'S LIKE HAVING AN AFFAIR, BUT IT'S ALL JUST ACTING, 583 00:29:10,682 --> 00:29:11,449 SCENES, ACTING THEM OUT. 584 00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:15,620 >> Stephen: IN A CAR. 585 00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:19,657 IN A CAR IN THE DRIVEWAY OF MY HOUSE, SO THAT SHE CAN -- SO 586 00:29:19,724 --> 00:29:21,759 THAT SHE DOESN'T GET ACCOSTED BY MY CHILDREN. 587 00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:24,929 >> Stephen: BECAUSE IF SHE WENT INSIDE THEY WOULD BE TOO 588 00:29:24,996 --> 00:29:27,365 EXCITED TO SEE HER AND NOTHING GOT DONE. 589 00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:28,433 >> THAT'S CORRECT. 590 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:29,901 >> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S A PLEASANT PROBLEM TO HAVE. 591 00:29:29,968 --> 00:29:31,102 >> WELL, YEAH. 592 00:29:31,169 --> 00:29:34,372 >> Stephen: BESIDES WRITING THIS, YOU'VE ALSO WRITTEN PLAYS, 593 00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:35,740 YOU'VE WRITTEN A CHILDREN'S BOOK. 594 00:29:35,807 --> 00:29:39,077 WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE FOR YOU WHEN YOU FIRST START TO WRITE? 595 00:29:39,144 --> 00:29:41,713 BECAUSE I HAVE TO WRITE AS PART OF THE COURSE OF MY JOB, AND 596 00:29:41,779 --> 00:29:45,884 EVERY TIME I GO TO PUT MY FINGERS ON A KEYBOARD OR PEN TO 597 00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:48,987 PAPER, I'M STRICKEN BE IMPOSTER SYNDROME. 598 00:29:49,053 --> 00:29:52,690 LIKE I KNOW I'VE DONE THIS FOR 30 YEARS, I CAN'T DO IT THIS 599 00:29:52,757 --> 00:29:53,525 TIME. 600 00:29:53,591 --> 00:29:55,326 DO YOU EVER GET THAT PARALYZING FEAR? 601 00:29:55,393 --> 00:29:56,528 >> I'M HAVING IT RIGHT NOW. 602 00:29:56,594 --> 00:29:57,896 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU GET 603 00:29:57,962 --> 00:30:00,431 OVER IT AND MOTIVE YOURSELF? 604 00:30:00,498 --> 00:30:01,733 >> I DRINK. 605 00:30:01,799 --> 00:30:02,433 >> Stephen: OH. 606 00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:03,635 THERE IT IS. 607 00:30:03,701 --> 00:30:05,803 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IN THE DRIVEWAY. 608 00:30:05,870 --> 00:30:09,641 WITH SARAH PAULSON. 609 00:30:09,707 --> 00:30:13,811 >> YES, OF COURSE, HALF THE TIME YOU THINK YOU SUCK. 610 00:30:13,878 --> 00:30:15,847 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU THINK THAT. 611 00:30:15,914 --> 00:30:19,884 >> Stephen: BECAUSE EVERY DAY I HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO SUCK 612 00:30:19,951 --> 00:30:20,752 AGAIN. 613 00:30:20,818 --> 00:30:21,986 ( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S THE NICE THING ABOUT 614 00:30:22,053 --> 00:30:24,622 DOING ONE OF THESE SHOWS, EVERY DAY THE LAST SHOW IS GONE AND 615 00:30:24,689 --> 00:30:27,358 YOU CAN ONLY ENJOY IT FOR THE FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE SHOW IS 616 00:30:27,425 --> 00:30:30,528 OVER AND TOMORROW YOU HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN, WHICH IS A GREAT 617 00:30:30,595 --> 00:30:34,265 PRIVILEGE, BUT, ALSO, WELL, MAYBE I'LL SUCK TODAY. 618 00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:38,603 >> I WAS FEELING VERY NERVOUS ABOUT COMING HERE THIS AFTERNOON 619 00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:41,139 AND I WAS THINKING I WONDER IF HE'S NERVOUS. 620 00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:42,340 >> Stephen: EVERY SHOW. 621 00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:43,441 I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 622 00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:44,075 >> Stephen: AMANDA PEET, FIVE YEARS HAS BEEN TOO LONG. 623 00:30:44,142 --> 00:30:44,375 PLEASE COME BACK MORE OFTEN. 624 00:30:44,442 --> 00:30:45,210 I WILL. 625 00:30:45,276 --> 00:30:46,110 >> Stephen: "THE CHAIR" PREMIERES THIS 626 00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:47,078 FRIDAY ON NETFLIX. 627 00:30:47,145 --> 00:30:48,479 AMANDA PEET, EVERYBODY! 628 00:30:48,546 --> 00:30:52,850 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOCCER AFICIONADO AND LOVER OF AMERICA, 629 00:30:52,917 --> 00:30:54,219 ROGER BENNETT. 630 00:31:05,697 --> 00:31:09,667 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪ 631 00:31:09,734 --> 00:31:10,435 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 632 00:31:10,501 --> 00:31:12,103 WELCOME BACK! 633 00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:18,343 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS A CO-HOST OF 634 00:31:18,409 --> 00:31:25,049 THE SOCCER PODCAST AND THE TELEVISION SHOW "MEN IN 635 00:31:25,116 --> 00:31:26,150 BLAZERS." 636 00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:27,118 HE HAS JUST WRITTEN A NEW BOOK, "REBORN IN THE USA: AN 637 00:31:27,185 --> 00:31:28,152 ENGLISHMAN'S LOVE LETTER TO HIS CHOSEN HOME." 638 00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:30,822 PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," ROGER BENNETT! 639 00:31:30,888 --> 00:31:40,865 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 7♪ 640 00:31:40,932 --> 00:31:48,606 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 7♪ 641 00:31:48,673 --> 00:31:51,542 >> Stephen: WON'T YOU PLEASE. 642 00:31:51,609 --> 00:31:51,976 HEY! 643 00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:53,711 NICE TO SEE YOU. 644 00:31:53,778 --> 00:31:55,613 SO WHERE'S THE BLAZER? 645 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:56,347 >> LOOKING GOOD, STEPHEN. 646 00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:57,682 >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH! 647 00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:04,522 SO YOU AND YOUR CO-HOST MICHAEL DAVIES, YOUR "MEN IN BLAZERS" 648 00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:05,790 CO-HOST -- THERE YOU GO. 649 00:32:05,857 --> 00:32:07,959 THERE'S A SHOT OF THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER. 650 00:32:08,026 --> 00:32:08,793 >> TWO BULLS. 651 00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:11,462 >> Stephen: OKAY, OBSESSED WITH SOCCER. 652 00:32:11,529 --> 00:32:12,297 >> INDEED. 653 00:32:12,363 --> 00:32:14,098 >> Stephen: OKAY, WHAT WE CALL SOCCER. 654 00:32:14,165 --> 00:32:15,266 >> YES. 655 00:32:15,333 --> 00:32:17,468 >> Stephen: BUT MOST AMERICANS STILL AREN'T SOLD ON SOCCER. 656 00:32:17,535 --> 00:32:19,537 WHAT IS IT YOU LOVE ABOUT THE GAME? 657 00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:25,343 >> WELL, THE GAME IS REALLY A TELENOVELLA PLAYED OUT BY 22 658 00:32:25,410 --> 00:32:28,913 HUMAN BEINGS WEARING POLYESTER SHORTS ON THE FIELD, AND WHEN 659 00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:34,152 YOU SEE A WORLD CUP, STEPHEN, IT'S OFTEN SAID ESSENTIALLY THE 660 00:32:34,218 --> 00:32:42,360 TWO TEAMS WALK OUT AND THEIR NATION'S HISTORY TAKE THE FIELD 661 00:32:42,427 --> 00:32:43,695 BESIDE THEM. 662 00:32:43,761 --> 00:32:47,965 IT'S ONLY SOCCER ON THE SURFACE, BELOW THE SURFACE IT'S ABOUT 663 00:32:48,032 --> 00:32:49,167 POLITICS, HISTORY AND CULTURE. 664 00:32:49,233 --> 00:32:52,303 BUT THE THING THAT'S REALLY MADE IT TAKE OFF IN AMERICA IS IF 665 00:32:52,370 --> 00:32:57,175 YOU'RE IN A BAR AT 7:30 A.M. IN THE MORNING AND YOU'RE HAVING A 666 00:32:57,241 --> 00:32:59,644 BEER AND A SCOTCH, SOCIETY FROWNS ON THAT BEHAVIOR, BUT IF 667 00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:06,351 YOU'RE IN THAT SAME BAR, THAT SAME BEER, THAT SAME SCOTCH, AND 668 00:33:06,417 --> 00:33:11,022 CHELSEA ARE PLAYING MANCHESTER UNITED, YOU'RE A SOCCER FAN! 669 00:33:11,089 --> 00:33:12,523 AMERICANS LOVE ANY EXCUSE TO DRINK. 670 00:33:12,590 --> 00:33:14,625 >> Stephen: THE TIME DIFFERENCE MADE AN EXCELLENT 671 00:33:14,692 --> 00:33:18,363 EXCUSE FOR PEOPLE TO DRINK AND SOCCER'S MERELY A MASK. 672 00:33:18,429 --> 00:33:19,697 >> IT'S A LIFE. 673 00:33:19,764 --> 00:33:23,534 >> Stephen: NOW, YOU ARE ALSO FRIENDS WITH OUR FRIEND JOHN 674 00:33:23,601 --> 00:33:29,440 OLIVER, OKAY, AND HE IS OBSESSED WITH LIVERPOOL, AND IS THERE 675 00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:35,413 SOMETHING I COULD SAY ABOUT HIS TEAM THAT WOULD UPSET HIM? 676 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,382 ( LAUGHTER ) NOT THAT I WOULD EVER DO THAT. 677 00:33:37,448 --> 00:33:41,018 I WAS JUST CURIOUS IF THERE WAS SOMETHING YOU COULD ARM ME WITH. 678 00:33:41,085 --> 00:33:42,687 >> THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW. 679 00:33:42,754 --> 00:33:44,088 THERE'S A LOT I COULD SAY. 680 00:33:44,155 --> 00:33:48,893 THE ONE THING, JOHN IS A REMARKABLE HUMAN BEING. 681 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:55,867 I THINK IN A SIMILAR WAY TO ME, FOOTBALL ALLOWS HIM TO FEEL JOY, 682 00:33:55,933 --> 00:34:00,004 MISERY, SUCCESS, FAILURE, FEELINGS NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS 683 00:34:00,071 --> 00:34:01,072 EXPERIENCE IN REAL LIFE, BUT WE'RE BOTH DEAD INSIDE SO WE 684 00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:03,408 ONLY EXPERIENCE IT IN FOOTBALL. 685 00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:09,680 IN LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL I SUPPORTED EVERTON, AND, JOHN AND 686 00:34:09,747 --> 00:34:14,085 EVERY LIVERPOOL FAN DREAMED FOR WINNING THE TITLE FOR 30 YEARS. 687 00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:20,725 EVERY MORNING JOHN WOULD GET OUT OF BED AND DREAM OF WINNING THE 688 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:21,225 TITLE. 689 00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:22,427 THEY WERE SO CLOSE. 690 00:34:22,493 --> 00:34:28,266 BT DURING COVID THEY WENT ON A SEASON OF DREAMS THAT ARE MADE 691 00:34:28,332 --> 00:34:29,801 OF AND WON THE TITLE. 692 00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:33,471 BUT BECAUSE COVID SHUT DOWN FOOTBALL LIKE ALL SPORTS FOR 693 00:34:33,538 --> 00:34:36,774 THREE MONTHS, YOU COULD SAY, YES, JOHN, YOU WON THE TITLE, 694 00:34:36,841 --> 00:34:43,181 BUT THERE'S FIND OF AN ASTERISK BESIDE THE TITLE. 695 00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:48,653 LOOK AT JOHN AND SAY ASTERISK, AND JOHN WILL LAUGH IT OFF AND 696 00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:52,957 SAY, NO, IT'S AMAZING, I FELT JOY I NEVER FELT BEFORE, BUT 697 00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:57,595 WHEN HE GOES TO BED AND HE'S IN HIS UNDERPANTS AND LOOKING AT 698 00:34:57,662 --> 00:35:04,735 HIMSELF IN A MIRROR, HE WILL SAY, EVEN STEPHEN COLBERT THINKS 699 00:35:04,802 --> 00:35:09,907 THERE'S AN ASTERISK AGAINST THE TAILWIND AND WILL FEEL HAUNTED 700 00:35:09,974 --> 00:35:10,741 FOREVER. 701 00:35:10,808 --> 00:35:12,777 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WHAT I WILL BE 702 00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:17,782 HAUNTED BY IS THE IMAGE OF JOHN OLIVER LOOKING AT HIMSELF IN HIS 703 00:35:17,849 --> 00:35:18,916 UNDERWEAR. 704 00:35:18,983 --> 00:35:22,186 >> SOME DAYS THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING IN 705 00:35:22,253 --> 00:35:23,054 LIFE. 706 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:24,322 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU'VE WRITTEN A 707 00:35:24,388 --> 00:35:28,392 NEW BOOK, "REBORN IN THE USA: AN ENGLISHMAN'S LOVE LETTER TO HIS 708 00:35:28,459 --> 00:35:29,627 CHOSEN HOME." 709 00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:35,032 WHAT IS IT YOU LOVE ABOUT THE U.S. AND WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS 710 00:35:35,099 --> 00:35:36,267 AS YOUR HOME? 711 00:35:36,334 --> 00:35:38,569 >> IT'S A JOY TO BE WITH YOU, STEPHEN, BECAUSE I ALWAYS JOKE I 712 00:35:38,636 --> 00:35:41,472 LOVE AMERICA MORE THAN KENNY POWERS LOVES AMERICA. 713 00:35:41,539 --> 00:35:46,010 I THINK THERE'S KENNY POWERS THERE, ME THERE, MAYBE DOLLY 714 00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:50,147 PARTON AND SPRINGSTEEN JUST ABOVE ME, BUT YOU ARE THE 715 00:35:50,214 --> 00:35:51,516 LeBRON OF LOVING AMERICA. 716 00:35:51,582 --> 00:35:56,621 TO BE WITH YOU, CELEBRATING THIS BOOK, ITS SUCCESS HAS BEEN 717 00:35:56,687 --> 00:35:57,788 REALLY HUM BEELIKE. 718 00:35:57,855 --> 00:36:03,461 THE REALITY IS I GREW UP IN LIVERPOOL IN THE 1980s, IT'S A 719 00:36:03,528 --> 00:36:06,864 MAGNIFICENT CITY BUT IT'S WHEN THE COAL PITS SHUT DOWN, THE 720 00:36:06,931 --> 00:36:11,736 STEEL MILLS, THE COTTON MILLS IN LIVERPOOL AND IT WAS A DARK AND 721 00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:12,937 TWISTED PLACE. 722 00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:16,040 THE REALITY IS WAS IF YOU'VE SEEN BILLY ELLIOTT, YOU GET THE 723 00:36:16,107 --> 00:36:17,208 PICTURE. 724 00:36:17,275 --> 00:36:21,279 HE HAS BELLY DANCING BUT MY ARABESQUE SKILLS NOT SO MUCH. 725 00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:27,151 SO WHAT MADE HE SURVIVE IN A CITY WITH MASSIVE 726 00:36:27,218 --> 00:36:31,756 UNUPEMPLOYMENT, HOPELESSNESS, A HUGE HEROIN EPIDEMIC, WAS 727 00:36:31,822 --> 00:36:33,024 AMERICA. 728 00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:38,162 I EMBIBBED EVERY TV SHOW -- LOVE BOAT, MIAMI VICE, CHICAGO BEARS, 729 00:36:38,229 --> 00:36:43,067 MOLLY RINGWALD, BEAST BEASTIE BOYS AND TRACY CHAPMAN -- AND 730 00:36:43,134 --> 00:36:46,804 THEY ALL SPOKE TO ME LIKE A SIREN AGAINST THE ROCKS SAYING 731 00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:50,741 COME BE HERE, YOUR LIFE MAY BE HOPELESS, THERE MAY FEEL LIKE 732 00:36:50,808 --> 00:36:53,077 THERE'S NO FUTURE, BE UH THE REALTIME IS COME HERE, LIFE CAN 733 00:36:53,144 --> 00:36:56,647 BE LIVED IN T TECHNO COLOR. 734 00:36:56,714 --> 00:37:02,019 >> Stephen: COME BACK AND I WILL ASK WHAT WAS IT LIKE LIVING 735 00:37:02,086 --> 00:37:04,055 LIFE WHEN AMERICA WAS GOING THROUGH SUCH A DARK AND 736 00:37:04,121 --> 00:37:04,922 TRAUMATIC TIME. 737 00:37:04,989 --> 00:37:05,289 STICK AROUND. 738 00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:31,816 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephe WE ARE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF 739 00:37:31,882 --> 00:37:35,052 "REBORN IN THE USA," ROGER BENNETT. 740 00:37:35,119 --> 00:37:40,491 I'M CURIOUS WHAT SOMEBODY WHO'S BEEN OBSESSED WITH AMERICA EVER 741 00:37:40,558 --> 00:37:43,427 SINCE IT WAS MORNING IN AMERICA UNDER REAGAN TO THIS POINT NOW 742 00:37:43,494 --> 00:37:46,330 WHERE THERE'S SO MUCH TRAUMATIC DIVISION, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE 743 00:37:46,397 --> 00:37:49,934 REST OF US FINDING EACH OTHER OVER WHAT IT MEANS TO BE AN 744 00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:53,037 AMERICAN WHO HAVE NEVER KNOWN ANYTHING ELSE? 745 00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:57,108 >> WELL, I RIDE WITH TEAM AMERICA NOW. 746 00:37:57,174 --> 00:38:01,345 EVEN WHEN AMERICA PLAY ENGLAND IN FOOTBALL I AM CHEERING 747 00:38:01,412 --> 00:38:06,784 AMERICA BECAUSE I HAVE ONE RULE IN LIFE, WHATEVER SIDE PIERS 748 00:38:06,851 --> 00:38:10,488 MORGAN IS ON, I ALWAYS CHEER FOR THE OTHER SIDE. 749 00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:11,589 GOD LOVE YOU, AMERICA. 750 00:38:11,656 --> 00:38:19,163 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. 751 00:38:19,230 --> 00:38:22,733 >.WHEN PANDEMIC GRIPPED THE CITY, IT STOPPED THE SPORTS IN 752 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:29,507 THE CITY I MOVED TO. 753 00:38:29,573 --> 00:38:33,010 I WROTE THIS BOOK AS A LOVE LETTER TO TRY TO TRACE THE 754 00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:35,913 CONTOURS OF MY LOVE FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 755 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,448 I WAS ALMOST IN A FEVER DREAM. 756 00:38:37,515 --> 00:38:38,983 IT DID STARTED WITH A PANDEMIC. 757 00:38:39,050 --> 00:38:45,322 BUT THEN AMERICA DISINTEGRATED INTO THE "BLACK LIVES MATTER," 758 00:38:45,389 --> 00:38:48,759 THE AGONY, THE TRAUMA OF THAT INTO THE ELECTION CYCLE, JUST 759 00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:51,562 THE HUMAN DARK NESS, AND THERE WERE MOMENTS WHEN I WAS WRITING 760 00:38:51,629 --> 00:38:56,801 A BOOK AND TURNED TO MY WIFE SAYING WHAT AM I DOING RELEASING 761 00:38:56,867 --> 00:38:59,637 A LOVE LETTER TO AMERICA? 762 00:38:59,704 --> 00:39:02,940 IF THINGS GO SLIGHTLY TERRIBLE IN THE ELECTION THE ONLY PEOPLE 763 00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:07,678 WHO WANT TO HEAR FROM ME ARE NEWSMAX AND OAN. 764 00:39:07,745 --> 00:39:13,617 I'LL HAVE TO GET DON, JR. TO SELL MY BOOK. 765 00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:19,390 THE LOVE I HAD WITH AS A KID WAS THAT OF A KID. 766 00:39:19,457 --> 00:39:22,793 ANYONE IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP KNOWS LOVE IS BLOODY HARD WORK 767 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:25,563 AND THE THE OBJECT OF YOUR AFFECTION IS SOMETHING THAT YOU 768 00:39:25,629 --> 00:39:29,734 HAVE TO WORK AT HAS STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES. 769 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,070 AND THAT'S A FUNNY THING TO USE SOMEONE ELSE'S WORDS TO SAY 770 00:39:33,137 --> 00:39:34,572 THINGS SMARTER THAN YOU COULD EVER WRITE. 771 00:39:34,638 --> 00:39:39,343 AND I USED THE WORDS TO HAVE THE GREAT POET LANGSTON HUGHES WHO 772 00:39:39,410 --> 00:39:42,880 SAID LET AMERICA BE AMERICA AGAIN, THE LAND THAT NEVER HAS 773 00:39:42,947 --> 00:39:47,118 BEEN YET AND YET MUST BE, AND THAT'S THE SPIRIT IN WHICH I 774 00:39:47,184 --> 00:39:48,352 OFFER THE BOOK, TO BE HONEST. 775 00:39:48,419 --> 00:39:52,089 I THINK ALL OF US WHO READ THE BOOK OR ARE IN THIS THEATER WANT 776 00:39:52,156 --> 00:39:54,959 TO CLOSE THE GAP BETWEEN THE AMERICAN REALITY AND THE IDEAL 777 00:39:55,025 --> 00:39:58,796 OF AMERICA WE HOLD IN OUR HEAD AND IN OUR HEART. 778 00:39:58,863 --> 00:39:59,830 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Announcer: THANK YOU SO 779 00:39:59,897 --> 00:40:00,364 MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 780 00:40:00,431 --> 00:40:04,435 LOVELY TO TALK TO YOU. 781 00:40:04,502 --> 00:40:06,871 "REBORN IN THE USA" IS ON SALE NOW. 782 00:40:06,937 --> 00:40:08,272 ROGER BENNETT, EVERYBODY! 783 00:40:08,339 --> 00:40:09,006 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 784 00:40:12,810 --> 00:40:14,044 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. 785 00:40:14,111 --> 00:40:17,681 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE DANIEL RADCLIFFE. 786 00:40:17,748 --> 00:40:18,616 GOOD NIGHT. 787 00:40:18,682 --> 00:40:20,351 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪