>> FANS OF TWO RIVAL BOY BANDS OF THE LATE 1990S, THEY ARE
FREAKING OUT.
LET ME SHOW YOU WHY.
♪ BYE BYE BYE ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( LAUGHTER ) >> YOUR EYES ARE NOT PLAYING
TRICKS ON YOU.
THAT IS NSYNC'S LANCE BASS AND JOEY FATONE, JOINING THE
BACKSTREET BOY'S NICK CARTER AND AJ McCLEAN FOR THAT NEW VERSION
OF NSYNC'S BIG HIT "BYE BYE BYE."
>> OUR FIRST PERFORMANCE, HOPEFULLY OF MANY, AS BACK-SYNC,
SYNC-STREET-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL WE'RE GOING TO CALL
OURSELVES, BUT IT WAS FUN.
>> YO, YO, YO.
IT'S YOUR BOY, JOEY McINTYRE FROM NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK, THE
CUTE ONE.
>> HOLLA.
WHEN I HEARD BACKSTREET BOYS AND NSYNC WERE TEAMING UP TO FORM A
SUPER GROUP CALLED BACK-SYNC, I THOUGHT, WHAT ABOUT ME, JOEY
McCINTYRE FROM NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK?
IMAGINE THAT DREAM TEAM.
WE COULD CALL IT KID-IN-SYNC-STREET, OR
BACK-SYNC-BLOCK, OR BOY-KIDS-ON-THE-NEW-STREET.
CHECK IT.
I STILL GOT THE MOVES.
♪ ♪ ♪ FUNKY FRESH.
THAT IS FLY.
SO HIT ME UP ON MY BEEPER OR SEND ME A FAX, YO.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I GOTTA SKATE TO THE PODIATRIST TO
GET MY HAMMER TOE LOOKED AT.
WORD TO YOUR MOTHER.
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT: WHOSE VOTE IS THIS VOTE?
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES: WANDA SYKES
AND CRAIG MELVIN FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER FROM NEW
YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OH, OH, I LIKE IT.
HELLO, MY FRIENDS.
JOE SAILOR.
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: HELLO, JON.
HELLO, LEWIS.
HEY!
THANKS VERY MUCH.
WELCOME, WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
THIS EVENING-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
THIS HAS HAPPENED AT THIS POINT.
THIS EVENING, THE DEMOCRATS ATTEMPT TO PASS THE "FOR THE
PEOPLE" VOTING RIGHTS BILL BUT IT WAS DEFEATED BY MITCH
McCONNELL AND HIS REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUES.
YES, YES, AT LONG LAST, THAT MOMENT THAT WE KNEW WOULD NEVER
HAPPEN, FINALLY DIDN'T, 1KWRU6789 THE WAY WE ALWAYS
THOUGHT IT NEVER WOULD.
BUT FOR THOSE OF US WHO CAN STILL HOPE, TODAY IS THE NEW
YORK DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY OR, AS IT'S CALLED IN NEW YORK:
"THE ELECTION."
ALL SORTS-- ALL SORTS-- ALL SORTS OF MUNICIPAL OFFICES
ARE UP FOR GRABS LIKE CITY COMPTROLLER, MANHATTAN DISTRICT
ATTORNEY, AND PUBLIC URINATION CZAR.
( LAUGHTER ) QUICK REMINDER: YESTERDAY, WE
WON A PEABODY.
FOR JOKES LIKE THAT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
I WOULD SAY THAT JOKE CHANGES THE SPELLING OF "PEABODY."
BUT THE BIG OFFICE UP FOR GRABS IS WHO WILL REPLACE MAYOR BILL
de BLASIO AS THE PERSON GETTING BOOED AT METS GAMES.
( LAUGHTER ) THE WINNER IS EXPECTED TO BE...
IN THE LATEST POLL, BROOKLYN BOROUGH PRESIDENT ERIC ADAMS HAS
A SLIGHT LEAD OVER CIVIL RIGHTS LAWYER MAYA WILEY AND SIX OTHER
CANDIDATES.
BUT THE POLLS DON'T MEAN MUCH, BECAUSE TODAY IS THE CITY'S
FIRST MAYORAL ELECTION USING RANKED-CHOICE VOTING-- NOT TO BE
CONFUSED WITH-- ( APPLAUSE )
BIG FANS.
BIG FANS OF SOMETHING THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "RANK" CHOICE, THE DOLLAR STORE'S WORST
IS SODA.
>> Jon: BURN A HOLE THROUGH YOUR T-SHIRT.
>> Stephen: HERE'S HOW RANKED-CHOICE VOTING WORKS: IF A
SINGLE CANDIDATE RECEIVES MORE THAN 50% OF FIRST-CHOICE VOTES
IN THE FIRST ROUND, THEN HE OR SHE WINS.
BUT IF NO ONE EXCEEDS 50% OF VOTES IN THE FIRST ROUND, THE
CANDIDATE IN LAST PLACE IS ELIMINATED, AND ALL THE VOTES
FOR THE ELIMINATED CANDIDATE WILL BE REALLOCATED TO WHICHEVER
CANDIDATE THOSE VOTERS RANKED SECOND.
AND THIS REPEATS UNTIL THERE ARE TWO CANDIDATES LEFT.
WITH RULES THAT COMPLICATED, THIS YEAR, THEY'RE HANDING OUT
STICKERS THAT SAY "I VOTED?" ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) CURRENT MAYOR-- CURRENT MAYOR--
SURE.
( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
CURRENT MAYOR BILL de BLASIO TRIED TO EXPLAIN THE SYSTEM
USING THIS PIZZA-TOPPING ANALOGY.
>> GREEN PEPPERS, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, RIGHT HERE, MY
NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T APPRECIATE GREEN PEPPERS ENOUGH.
NOW, GETS A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING HERE.
WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE?
AGAIN, I'M GOING TO LEAN INTO MY HERITAGE.
NUMBER TWO, OLIVES.
THIS ONE'S A LITTLE BIT CONTROVERSIAL.
USUALLY ITS BLACK OLIVES, COULD BE GREEN OLIVES.
SOME PEOPLE THINK OLIVES BELONG ON A PIZZA.
SOME PEOPLE ARE REALLY AGAINST IT, BUT I HAVE HAD VERY GOOD
EXPERIENCES WITH OLIVES.
>> Stephen: TO RECAP: DON'T ORDER PIZZA WITH BILL
de BLASIO.
NOW-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Jon: YOU LIKE OLIVES?
>> Stephen: I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW.
NOW, BECAUSE THE VOTES HAVE TO BE RETABULATED EVERY TIME A
CANDIDATE GETS ELIMINATED, ELECTION OFFICIALS ARE WARNING
THEY MAY NOT DECLARE A WINNER UNTIL MID-JULY.
KEEP IN MIND, WE ONLY WAITED FOUR DAYS TO FIND OUT WHO WON
SO SOMEBODY AT CITY HALL BETTER MAKE SURE THOSE WALLS ARE
POOP-PROOF.
IT'S JOKES LIKE THAT THAT WIN YOU A POOBODY.
AS I SAID-- ( APPLAUSE )
AS I SAID, ADAMS IS THE FRONTRUNNER, BUT HE'S BEEN
PRETTY GAFFE-PRONE DURING THE RACE, AND THE LATEST GAFFE IS A
ERIC ADAMS SAID HIS FAVORITE CONCERT WAS THE ONE IN 1990
WHEN CURTIS MAYFIELD GOT PARALYZED ON STAGE.
ADAMS EXPLAINED, "AT THAT CONCERT, THERE WAS A RAINSTORM,
AND THE LIGHTS FELL ON CURTIS MAYFIELD, AND THEY ACTUALLY
PARALYZED HIM AT THAT CONCERT.
BUT IT WAS AN AMAZING CONCERT BEFORE THAT HAPPENED."
REALLY?
THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "THE BIRDS WERE CHIRPING, THE SUN WAS
GLISTENING OFF THE PACIFIC, WHICH IS WHY MY FAVORITE DAY IN
HAWAII WAS DECEMBER 7, 1941, A DAY THAT-- EXCEPT FOR A COUPLE
OF HOURS IN THE MIDDLE-- WILL LIVE IN AWESOME."
IN NATIONAL POLITICS, THERE'S MORE DISTURBING NEWS ABOUT
FORMER PRESIDENT OLD WACK DONALD.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
TODAY-- TODAY TODAY WE LEARNED HE WANTED HIS
JUSTICE DEPARTMENT TO STOP "S.N.L." FROM TEASING HIM.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
STRANGE.
IT'S STRANGE.
THERE HAS NOT BEEN A PRESIDENTIALOVERREACTION LIKE
THIS SINCE NIXON SENT NAVY SEALS TO ASSASSINATE THE SMOTHERS
BROTHERS.
WE KNEW THE EX-PREZ WAS MAD ABOUT "S.N.L."
HE TWEETED ABOUT THEM A FEW TIMES, IN BETWEEN HIS MORE
IMPORTANT WORK OF CALLING PORN STARS "HORSE-FACED."
BUT BEHIND THE SCENES, HE "ASKED ADVISERS AND LAWYERS WHAT THE
FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION, THE COURT SYSTEM,
AND THE D.O.J. COULD DO TO PROBE JIMMY KIMMEL AND OTHER
LATE-NIGHT COMEDY MISCHIEF-MAKERS."
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
REALLY?
FOLKS, THIS IS DANGEROUS, DISTURBING, UN-AMERICAN-- AND
WHY DO I GET LUMPED IN WITH "OTHER COMEDY MISCHIEF-MAKERS."
I DON'T GET IT.
WHAT'S A GUY GOTTA DO.
ALL DUE RESPECT TO MY DEAR FRIEND JAMES TIBERIUS KIMMEL,
BUT IF THE D.O.J. THUGS ARE KICKING DOWN DOORS TO ROUND UP
THE LATE-NIGHT CHUCKLEHEADS TO DRAG US OFF TO MAR A GULAGO,
TO BE ASSASSINATED, I SHOULD GET MORE THAN "AND THE
REST."
I DON'T APPRECIATE THE PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN TREATMENT
HERE.
MY NAME-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MY NAME-- MY NAME IS STEPHEN COLBERT.
MY NAME SHOULD BE IN LIGHTS ON THE STADIUM WHERE THEY'RE
EXECUTING US FOR OUR TERRIBLE IMPRESSIONS OF HIM.
( LAUGHTER ) OF COURSE, NOW THAT LEX LOSER IS
OIT OF OFFICE, A LOT OF PROSECUTORS OUT THERE ARE
FOCUSED ON PROBING HIM.
HERE IN NEW YORK, THE MANHATTAN D.A.'S OFFICE IS PUTTING
PRESSURE ON HIS UNDERLINGS TO GET THEM TO FLIP ON THE BOSS.
NOW THEY'RE TURNING THE SCREWS ON HIS FORMER BODYGUARD
AND GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HE'D BE NAMED MATTHEW CALAMARI, MATTHEW
CALAMARI, "MATTHEW CALAMARI" SOUNDS LIKE A
NAME A COP MAKES UP WHEN HE'S UNDERCOVER AT OLIVE
GARDEN.
"YEAH, I'M, UH, MATTHEW...
MATTHEW CALAMARI.
AND THIS IS MY BUDDY, LARRY UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS."
( LAUGHTER ).
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
SPECIFICALLY, PROSECUTORS ARE INVESTIGATING WHETHER CALAMARI
RECEIVED SOMETHING CALLED "TAX-FREE FRINGE BENEFITS,"
WHICH IS WHEN AN EMPLOYEE RECEIVES BENEFITS SUCH AS FREE
APARTMENTS, SUBSIDIZED RENT, OR CAR LEASES FROM AN EMPLOYER AND
DOESN'T PAY TAXES ON SUCH BENEFITS.
WAIT, GIVING CALAMARI PERKS IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS LOYALTY?
THAT IS A CLEAR "SQUID PRO QUO."
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
KEEP THEM COMING.
CALAMARI ISN'T THE ONLY MEMBER OF THIS BREADED CRIME RING IN
TROUBLE, BECAUSE PROSECUTORS ARE ALSO INVESTIGATING CALAMARI'S
SON, MATTHEW CALAMARI JR. LIKE HIS FATHER, CALAMARI JR.
HASN'T YET BEEN OFFICIALLY CHARGED YET, BUT PROSECUTORS
RECENTLY ADVISED BOTH MEN TO HIRE LAWYERS.
YOU KNOW THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN WHEN THE CALAMARI ARE
ORDERING LAWYERS FOR THE WHOLE TABLE.
DO YOU GUYS WANT THAT?
LET'S GET SOME LAWYERS.
HEY, SWEETIE, COULD WE GET A ROUND?
COULD WE GET A ROUND OF CALL MAURY HERE?
OH, THERE'S SOME EXCITING FOOTBALL NEWS, THANKS TO
RAIDERS DEFENSIVE LINEMAN AND MAN WHO JUST FOUND OUT THERE'S
LEFTOVER CAKE IN THE BREAK ROOM, CARL NASSIB.
YESTERDAY, NASSIB MADE HISTORY WHEN HE BECAME THE FIRST ACTIVE
N.F.L. PLAYER TO PUBLICLY DECLARE THAT HE IS GAY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AMAZING!
IT'S EXTRAORDINARY!
( APPLAUSE ) THAT IS SO EXCITING AND SO BRAVE
AND IMPORTANT-- OR, AS THEY SAY IN THE N.F.L.:
>> IT'S GOOD!
IT'S GOOD!
>> Stephen: NASSIB MADE HIS ANNOUNCEMENT IN A VIDEO HE
POSTED TO HIS INSTAGRAM.
TAKE A LOOK: >> WHAT'S UP, PEOPLE.
I'M CARL NASSIB.
I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A QUICK MOMENT TO SAY THAT I'M GAY.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO DO THIS FOR A WHILE NOW, BUT I FINALLY FEEL
COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST.
I JUST THINK THAT REPRESENTATION AND VISIBILITY ARE SO IMPORTANT.
I ACTUALLY HOPE THAT, LIKE, ONE DAY, VIDEOS LIKE THIS AND THE
WHOLE COMING OUT PROCESS ARE JUST NOT NECESSARY.
BUT UNTIL THEN, YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA DO MY BEST AND DO MY PART
TO CULTIVATE A CULTURE THAT'S ACCEPTING, THAT'S COMPASSIONATE.
>> Stephen: BEAUTIFULLY SAID ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
REALLY LOVELY.
IT IS TIME FOR AMERICA TO HAVE A COMPASSIONATE CULTURE THAT
VALUES ALL 300-POUND MEN PULVERIZING EACH OTHER'S SKULLS.
ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD, NOBODY SHOULD BE JUDGED BY WHO THEY
LOVE.
THEY SHOULD BE JUDGED BY THE LITTLE ANIMAL ON THE SIDE OF
THEIR HELMET.
I HATE THE TEAM WITH THE LITTLE BIRD, AND I LOVE THE TEAM WITH
THE LITTLE PIRATE!
GO, LITTLE PIRATES!
( LAUGHTER ) LIKE I SAID, LIKE I SAID, THIS
IS HISTORIC BECAUSE NASSIB IS THE FIRST OPENLY GAY, ACTIVE
N.F.L. PLAYER-- OR, AS "SPORTSCENTER" CALLED HIM, THE
FIRST "ACTIVELY GAY" N.F.L.
PLAYER.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AFTER THAT-- A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
THAT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
♪ ♪ ♪ AFTER THAT, I'M GUESSING ESPN'S
GRAPHICS GUY IS "ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB."
( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE WANDA SYKES AND JOURNALIST CRAIG MELVIN.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WON'T YOU SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN RIGHT
OVER THERE.
COME ON, DO IT.
I'M LEVITATING.
YOU ALL SOUND EXTRAORDINARY TONIGHT HOW IS-- HOW IS
EVERYBODY IN THE BAND FEELING BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL PEABODY
WINNERS AT THIS POINT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
ARE YOU ALL EXCITED?
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: CALL YOUR FOLKS AND TELL THEM YOU'RE A PEABODY
WINNER, JON?
IS IT.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH, THAT'S WHY I GOT THE GOLD IN MY HEAD TO
CELEBRATE.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: JUST SCRAPED A
LITTLE BIT OF IT OFF RIGHT THERE.
>> Jon: SCRAPE A LITTLE OFF, TIE AROUND A LOCK UP HERE, AND
I'M SHINING.
I GOT MY GLITTER, AND I'M PROFILING PEABODY MAN.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: GOING TO BE ON THE COVER OF "PEABODY MAGAZINE."
>> Jon: OF THAT A "PEABODY" MAGAZINE?
>> Stephen: THEY DON'T BUT THEY WILL IF YOU POSE FOR THE
COVER.
>> Jon: IT'S A DEAL.
>> Stephen: CALL US "THING THAT DOESN'T EXIST."
FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME GATHERING THE LATEST,
MOST CUTTING-EDGE NEWS STORIES, CAREFULLY EXAMINING THE DAY'S
C.T. SCAN, THEN ASSEMBLING AMERICA'S CRACK MEDICAL TEAM,
AND MAKING PRECISE INCISIONS WITH THE AID OF A STRYKER 1588
LAPAROSCOPE IN THE GROUNDBREAKING SURGICAL ARTISTRY
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES, FOLKS, WHEN I NEED EXTRA CASH TO
PAY OFF MY COCK-FIGHTING DEBTS, I SET UP A RUSTY COT UNDER A
TARP IN WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK, WHERE I PLY CURIOUS PASSERSBY
WITH BATHTUB COUGH SYRUP TO HELP DULL THE PAIN WHILE I USE GARDEN
SHEARS TO CUT OUT ANYTHING THAT LOOKS SUPERFLUOUS IN THE AMATEUR
APPENDECTOMY TENT OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT...
>> MEANWHILE!
>> Stephen: AGE CANNOT WHITHER NOR CUSTOM STALE, ITS INFINITE
VARIETY, MEANWHILE, NEVER FAILS.
MEANWHILE, THANKS TO A YEAR OF HOME-DELIVERY DINNERS, THE PRICE
OF CHICKEN WINGS IS GOING THROUGH THE ROOF.
THAT'S WHY CHICKEN CHAIN WINGSTOP IS NOW SELLING CHICKEN
THIGHS UNDER A NEW VIRTUAL BRAND CALLED "THIGHSTOP"-- ALSO WHAT
MY LEGS SAY AFTER CLIMBING MORE THAN TWO FLIGHTS OF STAIRS.
( LAUGHTER ) THIGHSTOP!
THIGHS ARE A CHEAPER CHICKEN PART BECAUSE MORE AMERICANS
PREFER OTHER CUTS OF THE CHICKEN, LIKE THE NUGGET, THE
TENDER, AND THE DINOSAUR.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
BUT, OH!
MMM!
WHAT'S WRONG?
I'M LICKING A DINOSAUR.
BUT THE C.E.O. OF WINGSTOP IS CONFIDENT HE CAN GET US EATING
THIGHS, SAYING, "WE BELIEVE WE CAN MAKE THEM A
CENTER-OF-THE-PLATE ITEM."
OF COURSE, FIRST, THEY'LL HAVE TO CONVINCE WINGSTOP CUSTOMERS
TO USE PLATES.
CHICKEN WING COSTS AREN'T EXPECTED TO DROP ANYTIME SOON,
BUT WINGSTOP IS OPTIMISTIC, SAYING, "IF WE CAN BUY ALL PARTS
OF THE CHICKEN, WE CAN START TO CONTROL A LITTLE BIT MORE OF THE
SUPPLY CHAIN."
THAT'S RIGHT, "ALL" PARTS OF THE CHICKEN.
SO GET READY FOR THE DELICIOUS OFFERINGS FROM BEAKSTOP.
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE-- REALLY, YOU DON'T
WANT A BEAK?
I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU FRY IT LONG ENOUGH, I'LL EAT A BEAK.
MEANWHILE, I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE BREAKING SEX DOLL NEWS!
OFF THE COAST OF JAPAN, AN "EMERGENCY CREW RESCUED A SEX
DOLL AFTER MISTAKING IT FOR A DROWNING WOMAN."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ STILL NO WORD ON WHETHER THE SEX
DOLL WAS THROWN AWAY OR TRYING TO KILL ITSELF.
( LAUGHTER ) THE DOLL WAS SPOTTED BY A LOCAL,
WHO SAID, "WHILE I WAS FILMING FOR MY FISHING VIDEO, I THOUGHT
THAT A CORPSE HAD COME FLOATING BY."
SO THE SEX DOLL IS IN A FISHING VIDEO.
IT WILL ALL BE DOCUMENTED IN THE REALITY SHOW, "HORNIEST CATCH!"
( LAUGHTER ) OF COURSE, THE TRUE MEANING OF
THIS TALE OF FISHING AND SEX TOYS IS CAPTURED IN THE IMORTAL
WORDS OF LAO TZU: "GIVE A MAN A SEX DOLL, HE'LL HAVE SEX FOR A
DAY.
TEACH A MAN TO FISH FOR SEX DOLLS, AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE HIM
AGAIN."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ACCORDING TO REPORTS,
"AUTHORITIES WERE RELIEVED WHEN THE APPARENT CORPSE TURNED OUT
TO BE A SEX DOLL."
SO NO EVIDENCE OF SOMEONE DEAD, JUST EVIDENCE OF SOMEONE DEAD
INSIDE.
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, "LAW & ORDER" STAR
CHRISTOPHER MELONI HAS ACHIEVED NEWFOUND VIRAL FAME FOR HIS
"JUICY" BUTT.
OKAY, HOLD ON!
THE MAN IS 60 YEARS OLD. HOW JUICY CAN HIS BUTT--
OH, MY GOD!
HOLY ASS MOUNTAINS MAJESTY!
THIS-- THERE YOU GO.
THIS EXPLAINS HIS STARRING ROLE IN THE NEW SPINOFF:
"LAW & ORDER: S.Z.U.: SPECIAL ZADDIES UNIT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
MEANWHILE, IN THAILAND, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT FRIDAY, THIS
ELEPHANT SMASHED ITS HEAD THROUGH A WOMAN'S WALL TO
RUMMAGE AROUND IN HER KITCHEN.
( PANS BANGING ) >> Stephen: LOOK, YOU CAN'T
BLAME THE ELEPHANT.
WE'VE ALL HAD THOSE NIGHTS WHEN YOU'RE WALKING HOME FROM A BAR
AT 3:00 A.M. AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I WOULD PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A
WALL FOR SOME THAI FOOD RIGHT NOW."
AND-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THERE YOU GO.
AND THE ELEPHANT DID FIND SOMETHING, SCARFING DOWN AN
ENTIRE BAG OF UNCOOKED RICE IN ONE BITE.
I HOPE HE'S NOT PALEO, BECAUSE HE JUST ATE A TON OF CARBS AND
POSSIBLY A WET CELL PHONE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH WANDA SYKES.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW."
FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS THE EMMY AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN
YOU KNOW FROM HER STANDUP SPECIALS, "CURB YOUR
ENTHUSIASM," AND "BLACK-ISH."
HER NEW SHOW IS "THE UPSHAWS."
>> ARE YOU TRIPPING?
YOU TRIPPING?
THIS IS MY HIGH SCHOOL CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY!
>> HM.
A BUCK, 50?
THAT'S A BARGAIN!
3 ( LAUGHTER )
>> I THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BROKEN INTO MORE PIECES THAN
THAT.
( LAUGHTER ) STILL WORTH IT, THOUGH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME WANDA
SYKES!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I WONDER WHY SHE'S THE GREATEST DANCER ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NICE--
>> OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
IT IS A BLESSING, ISN'T IT?
YOU AND I BOTH LIVE PERFORMANCES ARE HOW WE CAME UP.
WE'VE BEEN AWAY-- WE'VE BEEN AWAY FROM THE OXYGEN FOR 15
MONTHS.
HAVE YOU-- HAVE YOU PERFORMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE SINCE
THE PANDEMIC ENDED?
>> LIKE, 10 DAYS AGO I DID STAND-UP OUT IN NEW JERSEY.
AND IT WAS RIDICULOUS.
IT WAS KNOW-- YOU KNOW, BECAUSE AT FIRST I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THOSE PEOPLE.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW?
AND...
>> Stephen: YOU'RE NORMALLY-- YOU'RE NORMALLY FAMILIAR WITH
THE CROWD?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> WELL, I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
IT'S, LIKE, I'VE ONLY BEEN AROUND, YOU KNOW, MASKLESS WITH
THE PEOPLE I KNOW IN MY BACKYARD AND STUFF.
BUT NOW, IT'S LIKE THE AUDIENCE-- YOUR AUDIENCE.
YOU KNOW THEY'RE ALL-- THEY'RE ALL GOOD.
THEY'RE ALL GOOD, RIGHT?
>> Stephen: THEY'RE ALL GOOD.
( LAUGHTER ) THEY'RE ALL GOOD.
I ASKED.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
THEY'RE ALL COOL.
THEY'RE ALL SUPER COOL.
>> MY PEOPLE, MY PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BUT I DIDN'T KNOW.
SO THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE WITH MASKS.
AND I WAS LIKE, "LOOK, YOU KNOW, KEEP YOUR MASK ON IF YOU FEEL
LIKE YOU NEED YOUR MASK, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'VE BEEN."
YOU KNOW.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT JUST THE ENERGY, AND IT JUST
WAS A LITTLE TASTE OF JUST-- OF GETTING BACK TO, YOU KNOW,
NORMAL.
AND LIKE YOU SAID, WE FEED OFF OF THIS.
SO WE DEFINITELY NEEDED IT, MAN.
>> Stephen: NOW, WHAT ABOUT-- PEOPLE HERE WHO WATCH THE SHOW
KNOW THAT MY ONLY AUDIENCE FOR 15 MONTHS WAS MY WIFE.
AND SHE WASN'T ALWAYS THERE.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: SHE WAS THERE, LIKE, EVERY FEW DAYS.
SHE WOULD COME IN BECAUSE SHE HAD PITY ON ME.
( LAUGHTER ) SHE SAW ME-- SHE SAW ME
PHYSICALLY DECAYING WITH NO ONE AROUND.
WAS YOUR FAMILY-- DID YOUR FAMILY END UP BEING YOUR
AUDIENCE?
>> NO, THEY'RE FRENCH AND THAT'S A TOUGH CROWD.
>> Stephen: YOUR WIFE IS FRENCH AND YOUR KIDS ARE VERY
FRENCH, TOO?
>> YES, THEY'RE FRENCH, VERY FRENCH.
>> Stephen: FRENCH POOM DON'T LAUGH?
>> THEY LAUGH BUT AT DIFFERENT THINGS FOR THE WRONG REASON.
( LAUGHTER ) I HAVE BEEN ENTERTAINING TO ALL
THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY HEAD, AND THEY KNOW--
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I DID THE SAME THING.
>> THEY LOVE ME.
I'M KILLING UP THERE!
THE THEY-- OH, MY GOD!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: GOD BLESS THEM.
GOD BLESS THESE PEOPLE.
>> I HAD A WHOLE AUDIENCE UP THERE I CREATED, AND THEY-- THEY
WERE FAIR, TOO.
THEY WERE GOOD.
IT WAS A GOOD AUDIENCE.
>> Stephen: THEY DIDN'T LAUGH AT EVERYTHING, BUT YOU KNEW IF
YOU GOT A LAUGH FROM THEM IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
>> EXACTLY, EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT-- A LOT OF PEOPLE GOT DOGS OVER--
BECAUSE THAT'S-- WE STILL HAD A PRETTY YOUNG DOG WHEN THIS ALL
STARTED.
WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH MY DOG BENNIE.
DID YOU GUYS GET ANY PETS?
>> WELL, MY SON, HE REALLY WANTED A SNAKE FOR CHRISTMAS.
AND I WAS LIKE, "HELL NO!" >> Stephen: THAT'S NOT EXACTLY
CUDDLY.
>> YES.
AND I TOLD HIM, "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE THAT KIND OF KID.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE THE WEIRD KID WITH THE REPTILES."
>> Stephen: I KNOW THAT KID.
>> I MEAN-- I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE-- THEY'RE WHITE, AND I'M
KNOW-- I'M LIKE-- I CAN'T LET YOU BE THAT WHITE.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S JUST TOO WHITE!
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T-- I'M LEARNING SOMETHING HERE NOW.
SO REPTILES AS A PET IS A WHITE THING.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
>> IF YOU'RE BLACK AND YOU GOT A SNAKE, YOU GOTTA BE LIKE JANET
JACKSON LEVEL, OR YOU GOT TO BE-- YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A
SIX-PACK AND A LEATHER VEST AND YOU WALK AROUND WITH A SNAKE
AROUND YOUR NECK.
THAT'S A BLACK DUDE-- LIKE, IN NEW ORLEANS YOU CAN DO THAT IF
YOU'RE BLACK.
>> Stephen: AARON NEVILLE.
>> YEAH!
A CREEPY LITTLE WHITE KID WITH THE SNAKE?
YOU CAN'T DO IT.
>> Stephen: SO WHAT DID YOU GET?
>> HE GOT GEKOS.
I LET HIM GET-- HE GOT TWO GEKOS.
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, A GEKO IS A SNAKE WITH FEET.
>> EXACTLY IS IT!
THEY HAVE FEET.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FEET.
IF THE THING HAS FEET, THEN IT'S GOOD.
I STILL THINK IT'S WEIRD.
>> Stephen: DO THEY CUDDLE?
>> THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING!
THEY'RE USELESS!
IT'S USELESS.
AND THEY-- AND HERE'S THE THING I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT, THAT YOU'VE
GOT TO FEED THEM CRICKETS TO KNOW-- YOU'VE GOT TO FEED THEM
CRICKENTS OR WORMSES AND STUFF, RIGHT.
NOW, I'M STANDING IN LINE IN THE PET STORE WITH CRICKETS,s AND
I CAN FEEL MY ANCESTORS JUST LOOKING AT ME LIKE...
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERING ) "IS THIS PROGRESS?"
( LAUGHTER )
SO-- BUT IT'S A GOOD DISGUISE, THOUGH, BECAUSE WITH THE MASK,
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN IN THE PET STORE A COUPLE OF TIMES, AND
PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "I THINK THAT'S WANDA SYKES.
THAT'S WANDA SYKES."
AND I SAID, "GIRL, SHE'S BUYING CRICKETS.
THAT AIN'T WANDA."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I THINK YOUR LAST SPECIAL--
>> MY GOD, I'M-- I'M HAVING A FLASH.
GO AHEAD.
( LAUGHTER ) UH-HUH.
GO AHEAD, GO IF AHEAD.
>> Stephen: THE LAST SPECIAL-- THE LAST SPECIAL WE HAD THAT YOU
ACTUALLY PERFORMED WAS CALLED "NOT NORMAL."
RIGHT.
ARE THINGS FEELING MORE NORMAL FOR YOU NOW?
>> DON'T TOUCH MY SWEATY NAPKIN!
WHAT IS IS WRONG WITH YOU?" >> Stephen: I WAS TRYING TO
GET-- WHAT ELSE CAN YOU GET IT?
>> IT'S COVID, MAN!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> Stephen: I'M NOK LAPTED, I'M N INNOC LAPTED.
I'M ALL RIGHT.
>> THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU WON'T GET SICK.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: IT'S GREAT FOR YOU TO STOP BY, WANDA.
THANKS SO MUCH.
( LAUGHTER ) FOR BEING HERE.
ARE THINGS FEELING MORE NORMAL TO YOU NOW?
>> YES, THINGS ARE FEELING MUCH MORE NORMAL TO ME.
BUT HERE'S THE THING-- JUST BECAUSE IT'S FEELING NORMAL--
LIKE, NOW, I DON'T HAVE TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND CHECK MY
TWITTER TO SEE IF THE COUNTRY IS ON FIRE OR IF, YOU KNOW, FIND
OUT WHAT THE PRESIDENT DID OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
WE DON'T HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE-- I DON'T HAVE TO BABY SIT THE
PRESIDENT RIGHT NOW.
SO I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THAT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
THAT'S NORMAL.
RIGHT?
>> Stephen: THAT'S NORMAL.
>> BUT-- BUT-- BUT WHAT'S NORMAL THAT I DON'T LIKE IS THAT WE'VE
GOT TO STILL HAVE ALL THIS GRIDLOCK.
THAT'S-- YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: SURE, LIKE TONIGHT, THE VOTING RIGHTS ACT
WAS GRIDLOCKED.
>> EXACTLY, EXACTLY.
I'M HAPPY ON THIS HAND.
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND YOU'RE LIKE, THE SAME OLD CRAP, MAN.
THAT'S WHY I THINK WE NEED AGE LIMITS OR SOMETHING OR TERM
LIMITS OR SOMETHING.
( APPLAUSE ) TERM LIMITS.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU'VE GOT A NEW SHOW.
THE "THE UPSHAWS" ON NETFLIX.
YOU'RE THE CREATIVE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER.
YOU'RE ONE OF THE STARS.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
>> IT IS ABOUT AN AFRICAN AMERICAN FAMILY IN THE MIDWEST
AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S-- IT'S ABOUT A WORKING CLASS FAMILY.
AND IT'S-- AND IT SOUNDS SO SIMPLE BUT YOU KNOW THERE WASN'T
A SHOW OUT THERE LIKE IT.
AND ALTHOUGH AND, YOU KNOW, MIKE EPPS, HE APPROACHED ME AND SAID
HE WANTED TO DO A SHOW LIKE THAT.
SO CREATED THIS SHOW AND IT'S-- I JUST LOVE IT BECAUSE,
ALTHOUGH-- I MEAN, IT'S A BLACK SHOW.
IT'S BLACK-BLACK.
LIKE WE DON'T HAVE NO WHITE NEIGHBORS, NOTHING LIKE THAT.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT-- IT BUT IT RESONATES WITH
EVERYONE BECAUSE IT'S-- IT'S HOW THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS ARE
LIVING TODAY.
IT'S THE SAME ISSUES AND PROBLEMS THAT EVERYONE IS GOING
THROUGH.
AND IT'S JUST-- I MEAN, IT'S HYSTERICAL, AND --
>> Stephen: HE SAYS HE'S MUCH LIKE HIS CHARACTER.
HE AND HIS CHARACTER ARE VERY SIMILAR.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR CHARACTER, LECRECKIA?
>> I'M KIND OF LIKE LEKRESHA IN ENSIBILITIES.
SHE IS A BUSY BODY.
I DON'T HAVE THAT TIME TO BE IN EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS.
NOR DO I HAVE THE TIME.
BUT SHE NEEDS A HOBBY.
SHE REALLY DOES.
>> Stephen: WANDA, IT WAS LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
GOOD LUCK WITH THE GEKOS.
WANDA SYKES, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NBC'S CRAIG MELVIN.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK.
MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ANCHOR ON NBC'S "TODAY" SHOW AND A HOST OF
"DATELINE NBC."
HE HAS JUST WRITTEN A NEW BOOK: "POPS: LEARNING TO BE A SON AND
A FATHER."
PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," CRAIG MELVIN!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ >> LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE!
>> Stephen: I KNOW, ISN'T IT NICE.
WE HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS BACKSTAGE.
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR YEARS.
I QUOTED YOU ON THE SHOW WHEN I INTERVIEWED BILL CLINTON, BASED
ON YOUR INTERVIEW WITH HIM.
I SAID I THINK I KNOW THAT GUY.
I THINK I MET THAT GUY ON A PLANE FLIGHT FROM COLUMBIA,s
SOUTH CAROLINA, BETWEEN 200,000 AND MEOW-MEOW.
YOU TOLD ME THAT'S TRUE.
HOW DID WE MEET?
>> HERE'S THE TRUTH, STEPHEN COLBERT, I WOULD NOT BE IN THIS
SEAT ARGUABLY IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR A CHANCE ENCOUNTER WITH
STEPHEN COLBERT.
I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS-- IN 2008, STEPHEN COLBERT-- SOME OF
YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER THIS, HE RAN FOR PRESIDENT.
>> Stephen: I DID, I DID.
YEAH, NOT A GOOD IDEA.
>> HE'S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT BACK WHEN THE IDEA OF SOMEONE
BEING ON TELEVISION AND HAVING A BIG PERSONALITY, WHEN THAT
SEEMED TO MAYBE NOT BE -- >> Stephen: WHEN THAT WAS
FUNNY!
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I WAS RUNNING IN SOUTH CAROLINA, MY HOME STATE,
WHERE YOU WORKED.
>> YOU WERE IN THE SOUTH CAROLINA PRELIMINARY.
AND HE HAD JUST WRITTEN THE BOOK AS WELL.
THE BOOK, MODESTLY TITLED, I AM AMERICA."
SO I'M ON THIS PLANE AT COLUMBIA METROPOLITAN AIRPORT, AND I'M ON
MY WAY TO A JOB INTERVIEW IN NEW YORK CITY.
I WAS DOING THE LOCAL NEWS AT WIS-TV IN COLUMBIA.
>> Stephen: COLUMBIA'S NEWS LEADER.
>> YES!
FELLOW SOUTH CAROLINAIAN, HE KNOWS.
SO I'M ON THE PLANE.
I COULD NOT BE MORE NERVOUS ABOUT MY JOB INTERVIEW IN THE
BIG CITY.
AND I'M SITTING WINDOW SEAT AND THEY'RE ABOUT TO CLOSE WANT DOOR
BECAUSE THE-- YOU KNOW, IT'S, LIKE, 10 MINUTES BEFORE TAKEOFF.
AND THIS GUY GETS ON WITH, LIKE, THREE OR FOUR OTHER PEOPLE,
FLURRY OF ACTIVITY.
AND HE SITS IN THE CHAIR RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
I LOOK OVER AND I'M LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, IT'S THE GUY FROM JON
STEWART'S SHOW."
( LAUGHTER ) AND-- AND I'M LIKE WELL I DON'T
WANT TO BE THAT GUY.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU NO ONE WANTS TO BE THAT GUY.
AND YOU SAID SOMETHING TO ME.
YOU COULD NOT HAVE BEEN KINDER.
YOU SAID, "HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
AND AT THAT POINT, I JUST NEEDED SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ALL HOPPED UP.
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> Stephen: I REMEMBER YOU WERE GOING TO INTERVIEW AT NBC.
>> NBC NEWS.
I PROCEED TO TALK ABOUT THE JOB AND HOW NERVOUS I AM.
AND THIS GUY, TOTAL STRANGER, PROCEEDS TO TALK ABOUT HIS
BESTSELLING BOOK THAT'S ON THE "NEW YORK TIMES" LIST.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT AFTER THAT, YOU PROCEEDED TO
TELL ME YOUR STORY.
AND YOU TALKED ABOUT-- I'LL NEVER FORGET IT AS LONG AS I
LIVE.
YOU TALKED ABOUT HOW TRAGEDY, EARLY IN YOUR LIFE, SHAPED WHO
YOU WOULD BECOME, AND HOW YOU FOUND COMEDY.
AND YOU TALKED ABOUT HOW WHEN YOU GOT THE CALL TO GO TO "THE
DAILY SHOW," HOW UP UNTIL THAT POINT YOU WERE WRITING FOR SOME
SITCOMS, AND YOU WEREN'T KILLING IT.
AND WHEN THE PHONE CALL CAME, YOU WERE RELIEVED.
YOU'D DONE SECOND CITY, YOU'D DONE ALL THIS STUFF.
UP UNTIL THAT POINT YOU TALKED ABOUT RENTING FURNITURE WITH
YOUR WIFE IN SOME APARTMENT AND HOW YOU HAD STRUGGLED MIGHTILY
ALL THESE YEARS.
AND THEN YOU BECAME STEPHEN COLBERT.
AND I REMEMBER IN THAT MOMENT THINKING, IF THIS GUY CAN DO
IT...
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IF THIS GUY CAN MAKE IT...
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> THANK YOU!
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> SERIOUSLY.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> IT WAS THE PEP TALK THAT THE KID FROM COLUMBIA, SOUTH
CAROLINA, DESPERATELY NEEDED.
>> Stephen: WELL, SPEAKING OF, YOU KNOW, BEING SHAPED BY THE
OWN EVENTS OF YOUR LIFE, YOU'VE WRITTEN A NEW BOOK CALLED "POPS:
LEARNING TO BE A SON AND A FATHER."
WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT YOUR DAD?
>> SO NOT TO GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH, THE FIRST LINE IN THE BOOK IS--
YOU KNOW, MY DAD WAS BORN IN A FEDERAL PRISON IN WEST VIRGINIA,
1950.
AND IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT I REALLY KNEW ABOUT.
IT'S NOT SOMETHING WE REALLY TALKED ABOUT UNTIL I SAT DOWN TO
WRITE THIS BOOK, AND THE WAYS THAT THAT SHAPES AND MOLDS
SOMEONE, AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE, YOU DON'T FULLY APPRECIATE UNTIL
LATER IN LIFE.
SO MY DAD STRUGGLED MIGHTILY MOST OF MY LIFE-- UP UNTIL, IN
FACT, THREE YEARS AGO-- WITH VARIOUS ADDICTIONS-- GAMBLING,
BOOZE.
AND HE WAS NOT THE KIND OF FATHER THAT I WANTED AND NEEDED
IN THE 80s AND 90s GROWING UP.
>> Stephen: WAS HE PRESENT FOR YOU?
WAS HE THERE?
>> HE WAS PHYSICALLY PRESENT BUT NOTUE KNOW, NOT EMOTIONALLY
PRESENT, NOT SPIRITUALLY PRESENT.
HE WORKED AT THE POST OFFICE.
HE WAS A MAIL CLERK FOR ALMOST 30 YEARS.
DURING THE DAY HE WAS SLEEPING.
AT NIGHT HE WAS WORKING.
IF HE WASN'T WORKING HE WAS DRINKING OR PASSED OUT.
SO IT-- IT AFFECTED ME.
AND I DIDN'T FULLY APPRECIATE IT-- I DIDN'T FULLY APPRECIATE
THE WAYS IT AFFECTED ME UNTIL I GOT OLD AND I STARTED SEEING A
THERAPIST AND TALKING ABOUT IT.
AND SO THREE YEARS AGO, MY DAD GOT IN A LITTLE FENDER BENDER
BECAUSE HE'D BEEN DRINKING.
AND WE STAGED AN INTERVENTION.
WE HAD DONE IT BEFORE.
WE STAGED INTERVENTIONS BEFORE AND IT HADN'T STUCK.
THIS TIME IT STUCK.
WE USED A PROFESSIONAL.
AND HE WAS 67 YEARS OLD, STEPHEN.
HE HAD BEEN DRINKING FOR MORE THAN 40 YEARS.
HE KICKED THE GAMBLING ADDICTION.
HE DID THAT ABOUT 15, 20 YEARS.
BUT HE WAS DRINKING TO THE POINT WHERE HE WAS GOING TO HURT
HIMSELF OR HURT SOMEONE ELSE.
AND THEN AT 67 YEARS OLD, THE VILLAGE THAT LOVED HIM, LOVES
HIM, WE SAT HIM DOWN AND WE HIRED A PROFESSIONAL.
WE BROUGHT HER IN, AND WE READ OUR LETTERS OF LOVE, AND HE'LL
CHECKED HIMSELF IN TO A REHAB FACILITY IN-PATIENT, AND 12
WEEKS LATER HE COMES OUT, AND HE'S THE GUY ON-- ON THE COVER
THERE.
THAT PICTURE IS FROM MY-- MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON'S BIRTHDAY
PARTY.
HE IS MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME IN A BIG WAY.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK.
BUT PLEASE DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE CRAIG MELVIN.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> BACK IN 2017 YOU EXPRESSED
CONCERNS OF THE MEMBERSHIP OF THE ALL-WHITE BAILEY COUNTRY
CLUB.
>> IT'S ME, JUST THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES, NOT ME SITTING BY
THE POOL TELLING RACIST JOES AND TAUNTING EACH OTHER'S WIVES.
YOU'LL MISS IT.
>> IT'S A LONG TRADITION IN PROCEED RODE.
>> GOOD JOB, SHELDON.
GOOD CHOICE!
EXTRA TOWELS FOR YOU!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WE ARE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "POPS," THE "TODAY" SHOW'S CRAIG
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PROJECT FOR YOU TO DO, YOU AND YOUR FATHER TO
GET TOGETHER FOR THIS.
YOU INTERVIEWED PRESIDENT CLINTON.
YOU INTERVIEWED PRESIDENT BIDEN.
MICHAEL JORDAN.
WAS IT-- WAS IT NERVE-RACKING TO INTERVIEW YOUR OWN FATHER?
>> OH, GOD, IT'S THE HARDEST INTERVIEW I'VE EVER DONE.
IT'S-- FORTUNATELY, IT WAS HEIGHT OF THE PANDEMIC SO WE
COULDN'T DO IT IN PERSON.
I WAS ABLE TO DO IT OVER THE PHONE, THANK GOD!
THE BLESSING IS MY KIDS AND THEIR KIDS AND THEIR KIDS IF
THEY SO CHOOSE, THEY'VE GOT HOURS OF MY FATHER TELLING HIS
STORY IN HIS OWN WORDS BUT IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT MY DAD'S STORY
AND STRUGGLE WITH ADDICTION AND CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN.
IT'S A LOVE LETTER OF FATHERHOOD.
YOU'RE A FATHER OF THREE, AND YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT CAN BE
SOMETIMES.
AS KIDS GET OLDER, IT'S A STORY OF RESILIENCY HIGH SON IS 7, MY
DAUGHTER SIP OF SIBYL IS FOUR, BUT SHE WILL PROBABLY TELL YOU
SHE'S 14.
>> Stephen: MINE ARE GROWN AND I KNOW IT'S CLICHE, BUT IT GOES
LIKE THAT.
"POPS" IS ON SALE NOW.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE CHRISTINE BARANSKI.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
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