1 00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:04,254 >> A MOMENT ABOUT TED CRUZ'S AT C-PAC FRIDAY PARTICULARLY THE 2 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:10,760 PART WHERE HE SPOKE LOUDLY ABOUT WHY 2022 AND 2024 ARE GOING TO 3 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:11,886 BE GREAT ELECTION YEARS. 4 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:16,141 >> AS WE STAND TOGETHER AND DEFEND LIBERTY, DEFEND THE 5 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:20,145 CONSTITUTION, DEFEND THE BILL OF RIGHTS OF EVERY AMERICAN, IN THE 6 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:24,816 IMMORTAL WORDS OF WILLIAM WALLACE, FREEDOM! 7 00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:31,573 >> IT TURNS OUT, WILLIAM WALLACE WAS ALSO INSPIRED BY TED CRUZ. 8 00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:37,078 >> SONS OF SCOTLAND, I AM WILLIAM WALLACE, AND IN THE 9 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:41,124 IMMORTAL WORDS OF TED CRUZ, THEY CAN CALL OUR WIVES UGLY, AND 10 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:47,464 THEY CAN SAY OUR FATHERS MURDERED J.F.K., BUT WE WILL 11 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,008 ALWAYS REMAIN LAP DOGS! 12 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,927 ( CHEERING ) OH, AND INSTEAD OF FIGHTING THE 13 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:57,432 BRITISH, LET'S ALL ESCAPE TO CANCUN AND BLAME IT ON OUR 14 00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:58,850 DAUGHTER! 15 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:03,480 >> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT. 16 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,939 TONIGHT,'S GLOBE TROTTING. 17 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:13,281 PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES ANDY SAMBERG AND CLARISSA WARD, 18 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,367 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN." 19 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:21,790 AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING 20 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:26,002 IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 21 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:29,839 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 22 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:30,507 WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW." 23 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,426 I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. 24 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,636 WE'RE EXCITED TO SEE YOU. 25 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:35,637 AS ISAID, WELCOME BACK. 26 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,681 A WEEKEND IS TOO LONG TO BE AWAY FROM YOU. 27 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,060 WE'RE GOING TO KICK RIGHT OFF WITH THE ONLY STORY THAT MATTERS 28 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:45,313 TONIGHT, AND THAT'S WHAT'S ON TV NEXT SUNDAY. 29 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:48,149 BECAUSE MY CBS COLLEAGUE OPRAH WINFREY HAS RELEASED A TEASER OF 30 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,485 NEXT WEEK'S BLOCKBUSTER INTERVIEW WITH PRINCE HARRY AND 31 00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:51,027 MEGHAN MARKLE. 32 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:54,364 OH, MY GOD. 33 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,825 I CAN'T BELIEVE ACTUAL ROYALTY IS GOING TO TALK TO HARRY AND 34 00:01:56,908 --> 00:02:02,497 MEGHAN. 35 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:07,335 MR. AND MRS. SUSSEX ARE UNDENIABLY EVERYONE'S FAVORITE 36 00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,546 ROYALS. 37 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:14,551 RIGHT AFTER THE QUEEN, KATE MIDDLETON, AND THE DUKE OF 38 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,220 HASTINGS FROM THE WAIST DOWN. 39 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:17,428 MMM! 40 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:18,179 MMM! 41 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,557 GOD, I HOPE THAT'S A BLUR. 42 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,559 HE SHOULD SEE A DOCTOR. 43 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,186 THIS INTERVIEW IS ALL ANYONE CAN TALK ABOUT. 44 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,563 EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT, BECAUSE THE SHOW 45 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:30,525 WON'T AIR UNTIL SUNDAY 8:00 P.M. 46 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:38,575 EASTERN, 7:00 CENTRAL ON YOUR LOCAL CBS STATION. 47 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:39,742 SMOOTH. 48 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:39,993 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT STILL, THE ANTICIPATION IS 49 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:42,579 WILD. 50 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:46,749 FOR 24 HOURS, THIS INTERVIEW WAS THE TOP OF "THE DRUDGE REPORT." 51 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,917 NORMALLY, TO MAKE IT THAT HIGH ON "DRUDGE," YOU GOT TO BE AN AD 52 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,253 PROMISING ONE WEIRD TRICK TO SHRINK YOUR ENLARGED PROSTATE. 53 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:55,258 OR A TACTICAL VEST... FOR YOUR ENLARGED PROSTATE. 54 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,218 WHAT DID THEY TALK ABOUT? 55 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,303 FROM THE TEASER, IT'S A LITTLE HARD TO TELL: 56 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:04,434 >> WERE YOU SILENT OR WERE YOU SILENCED? 57 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,603 >> I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO EVERYBODY THAT THERE IS NO 58 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,896 SUBJECT THAT'S OFF LIMITS. 59 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:10,607 >> YOU'VE SAID SOME PRETTY SHOCKING THINGS HERE. 60 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,276 >> WAIT, HOLD-- HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE. 61 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:18,406 >> STEPHEN: WOW, WHATEVER THEY SAID, AND IT IS UNKNOWABLE, IT 62 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:20,074 STUNNED OPRAH. 63 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,910 IT'S EITHER SOME REALLY JUICY DISH, OR SHE ASKED FOR SPARKLING 64 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:26,289 WATER AND THEY BROUGHT HER STILL. 65 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:30,627 BUT YOU HEARD HER: NO SUBJECT WAS OFF LIMITS. 66 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:34,631 WHICH I HOPE MEANS THE FIRST HOUR IS HOT GOSS ON THE CAST OF 67 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,257 "SUITS." 68 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,967 IS GABRIEL MACHT A DIVA? 69 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:38,635 ALSO, WHO IS GABRIEL MACHT? 70 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,428 I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW. 71 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,597 HEAR GOOD THINGS. 72 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,016 WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? 73 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:45,558 WHAT DO WE HAVE? 74 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:49,187 OH, WE HAVE THE THING. 75 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,813 C-PAC. 76 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,398 THIS WEEKEND WAS THE ANNUAL CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL ACTION 77 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,483 CONFERENCE, BILLED AS "THE LARGEST AND MOST INFLUENTIAL 78 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,318 GATHERING OF CONSERVATIVES IN THE WORLD." 79 00:03:55,401 --> 00:04:00,865 THAT'S IF YOU DON'T COUNT THEIR LAST GATHERING. 80 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,492 THIS WEEKEND'S LINEUP INCLUDED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO SPREAD THE 81 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:06,663 BIG LIE THAT LED TO THE INSURRECTION, LIKE TEXAS SENATOR 82 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:10,333 TED CRUZ, MISSOURI SENATOR JOSH HAWLEY, AND ARIZONA 83 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,876 REPRESENTATIVE PAUL GOSAR. 84 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:16,631 IT WAS A MURDERER'S ROW OF PEOPLE WHO ALMOST GOT MIKE PENCE 85 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:17,882 MURDERED. 86 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:21,511 BEFORE THE SPEAKERS EVEN OPENED THEIR MOUTHS, CPAC GOT OFF TO A 87 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:25,431 ROUGH START, BECAUSE EAGLE-EYED TWITTER USERS POINTED OUT THAT 88 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,349 THE CONVENTION STAGE WAS IN THE SHAPE OF AN ODAL RUNE, WHICH IS 89 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:30,353 A SYMBOL USED ON SOME NAZI UNIFORMS. 90 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:35,316 OKAY, HOW MUCH RESEMBLANCE ARE WE TALKING HERE? 91 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:40,655 THIS IS THE SHAPE OF THE STAGE, AND HERE IS THE S.S. UNIFORM 92 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:43,741 WITH THE ODAL RUNE-- HOLY HIMMLER! 93 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,661 NOW, SOME PEOPLE SAY THEY DON'T SEE IT, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT 94 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:54,252 THEM SIDE BY SIDE, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO "NAZI" IT. 95 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,213 FASCIST SYMBOLISM ASIDE, ONE OF THE STUPIDEST MOMENTS OF THE 96 00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,381 ENTIRE STUPID WEEKEND CAME FROM TEXAS SENATOR AND 97 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:05,513 WATER-LOGGED CORPSE OF THE NOTRE DAME LEPRECHAUN, TED CRUZ. 98 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:10,768 CRUZ CAREFULLY EXPLAINED THE STAKES OF OUR NATIONAL CONFLICT 99 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,353 WITH AN EASY TO FOLLOW ANALOGY. 100 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,731 >> THE MEDIA HERE LOOKS AT THE MEN AND WOMEN GATHERED HERE, AT 101 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:22,739 THE YOUNG PEOPLE GATHERED HERE, AS DANGEROUS RADICALS. 102 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:34,417 THIS IS THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND VADER AND THE EMPEROR, AND LET'S 103 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:42,759 BE CLEAR, THEY'RE NOT YOUR FATHER, ARE TERRIFIED OF THE 104 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:48,306 REBELS WHO ARE HERE. 105 00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:50,308 WE AREN'T THE BORG ENFORCING, OKAY, I MAY HAVE COMMITTED A 106 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,435 CARDINAL SIN, MIXING "STAR WARS" AND "STAR TREK." 107 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:55,313 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GOING TO CROSS THE STREAMS AND 108 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,732 THE STAY-PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN IS GOING TO COME. 109 00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:02,737 >> STEPHEN: (AS CRUZ) "STAY WITH ME HERE... WE'RE 110 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,448 DOCTOR WHO, BUT NOT THE LADY ONE, AND WE'VE GOT ALL THE 111 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,824 INFINITY STONES EXCEPT FOR THE SORCERER'S STONE WHICH IS STILL 112 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,744 AT HOGWARTS IN THAT WARDROBE WITH THE WITCH AND THE LION, WHO 113 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:10,953 IS NOT. 114 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:14,791 MY. 115 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,460 DAD." 116 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,504 CRUZ WRAPPED UP HIS SPEECH, MAKING ONE THING CLEAR: HE KNOWS 117 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:26,844 EVEN MORE MOVIE REFERENCES: >> IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF 118 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:30,765 WILLIAM WALLACE, "FREEDOM!" >> STEPHEN: CONSIDERING THE 119 00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:34,644 SHAPE OF THAT STAGE, I BET HE WASN'T THE ONLY PERSON AT CPAC 120 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,145 QUOTING MEL GIBSON. 121 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,606 THE HEADLINER OF THE WEEKEND WAS THE FORMER PRESIDENT. 122 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:42,110 HIS SPEECH WAS PRETTY LIGHT ON SUBSTANCE AND ENERGY, BUT THERE 123 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,779 WAS ONE MAJOR REVELATION: HE TOLD THE AUDIENCE THAT HE WOULD 124 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,280 NOT START A THIRD PARTY. 125 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,115 OF COURSE HE ISN'T GOING TO START A NEW POLITICAL PARTY. 126 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,283 HE ALREADY OWNS ONE! 127 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,785 THESE PEOPLE WORSHIP THE GROUND HE WALKS ON. 128 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:54,789 LITERALLY. 129 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:55,456 THE BIGGEST ATTRACTION AT CPAC WAS THE GIANT GOLDEN STATUE OF 130 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,543 HIM. 131 00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,503 NOTHING SAYS THE PARTY OF CHRISTIAN VALUES LIKE 132 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,505 WORSHIPPING A GOLDEN IDOL. 133 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:06,384 AND IT'S AN OLD TESTAMENT TWO-FER, 'CAUSE HE'LL ALSO COVET 134 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,052 YOUR WIFE, NEIGHBOR. 135 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,637 NOW, HE SAID A LOT OF THINGS AND SOME OF IT WAS STUPID, AND THE 136 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,014 REST WAS DANGEROUS. 137 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,809 BUT I'M NOT GOING TO PLAY ANY OF THE CLIPS, BECAUSE THE COUNTRY 138 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:18,855 NEEDS TO MOVE ON AND, FRANKLY, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. 139 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:24,277 >> STEPHEN... STEPHEN... 140 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,196 >> Stephen: JIMMY, WHAT'S THAT? 141 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:27,822 >> COME ON, STEPHEN, IT'S ME, YOUR FAVORITE FORMER PRESIDENT 142 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:28,406 WHOSE NAME YOU WON'T SAY. 143 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,032 >> STEPHEN: PLEASE LEAVE. 144 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,034 >> DON'T YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME? 145 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,411 >> Stephen: NO. 146 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:34,829 COME ON. 147 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:35,413 I SAID "FRAGRANT" WHEN I MEANT TO SAY, "FLAGRANT." 148 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,205 JUST PLAY THAT ONE. 149 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:36,831 IT'LL BE HILARIOUS. 150 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,875 >> STEPHEN: I'M GOOD. 151 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,711 >> BUT YOU USED TO TELL JOKES ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME, REMEMBER? 152 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:44,881 MY NAKED CORRUPTION, MY GROSS INCOMPETENCE, MY TINY LITTLE 153 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:45,882 HANDS... 154 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:46,883 AND DON'T FORGET MY RIDICULOUS HAIR. 155 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,510 IT LOOKS LIKE A MERKIN FELL INTO-- 156 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:50,887 >> STEPHEN: A COTTON CANDY MACHINE. 157 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,263 YEAH, I REMEMBER. 158 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:55,892 BUT YOU'RE NOT IN POWER ANYMORE, SO JUST TAKE A HIKE. 159 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,560 >> STEPHEN: BUT I SPOKE AT CPAC YESTERDAY! 160 00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:58,561 IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT, NEWSWORTHY EVENT! 161 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:02,857 I'M STILL SO RELEVANT. 162 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,568 IF PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT ME, I'LL MELT. 163 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,903 I'M MELTING. 164 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:10,531 I'M MELTING. 165 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,240 OR MAYBE THAT'S JUST MY BRONZER. 166 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:16,704 GOODBYE NOT CRUEL ENOUGH WORLD. 167 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:17,580 PSYCH! 168 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,082 I'M NEVER LEAVING! 169 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,210 SEE YOU IN 2024! 170 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,003 >> Stephen: GO, GET OUT! 171 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:25,546 GET OUT! 172 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:33,888 >> AAAHHH! 173 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,431 >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF GOLDEN IDOLS, LAST 174 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:36,807 NIGHT THEY HELD THE GOLDEN GLOBES. 175 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:40,436 THIS YEAR THE GLOBES WERE HOSTED BY TINA FEY AND AMY POEHLER ON 176 00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:44,106 OPPOSITE COASTS, AND MOST OF THE CELEBS JOINED IN VIA ZOOM. 177 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,234 ALL THE GLAMOUR WAS FROM THE WAIST UP, SO WE HAD NO IDEA IF 178 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,654 THE DRAPES MATCHED THE RED CARPET. 179 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:52,740 THIS YEAR'S LOOKS RAN THE GAMUT FROM CYNTHIA ERIVO IN VALENTINO 180 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:58,412 AND NICOLE KIDMAN IN LOUIS VUITTON ALL THE WAY TO JASON 181 00:08:58,496 --> 00:08:59,789 SUDEIKIS IN TIE-DYE HOODIE. 182 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,959 YOU CAN SHOP JASON SUDEKIS'S LOOK BY DIGGING INTO THE BOTTOM 183 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:03,626 OF YOUR HAMPER AND THEN TAKING THAT EDIBLE YOU'VE BEEN SAVING 184 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,502 FOR AN EMERGENCY. 185 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,963 GOOD FOR YOU, JASON. 186 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:10,716 KEEPING IT REAL. 187 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,801 THIS YEAR'S GLOBES CAME UNDER A LOT OF SCRUTINY AFTER A FORMER 188 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:14,971 PRESIDENT OF THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS ASSOCIATION 189 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,640 ADMITTED THE GROUP HASN'T HAD ANY BLACK MEMBERS IN TWO 190 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:18,975 DECADES. 191 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:23,020 EXPLAINS WHY IN PAST YEARS, THEY'VE GIVEN GOLDEN GLOBES TO 192 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,647 "GREEN BOOK" AND HELLMAN'S. 193 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,316 LAST NIGHT THE GLOBES TRIED TO REMEDY THE PROBLEM BY PUTTING AS 194 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:32,697 MANY BLACK PRESENTERS ON SCREEN AS POSSIBLE. 195 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:33,948 A BOLD EFFORT, BUT IT KIND OF LOOKED LIKE AN ALL WHITE HIGH 196 00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:37,785 SCHOOL TRYING TO PUT TOGETHER A YEARBOOK THAT LOOKED DIVERSE. 197 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,537 "HEY MALIK, I KNOW YOU'RE ACTUALLY NOT IN FRENCH CLUB, BUT 198 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:40,288 PARLEZ VOUS DIVERSITE? 199 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:44,292 GRAB A BAGUETTE AND GET IN HERE." 200 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:45,668 THAT JOKE BY OUR WRITER JOHN THIBODEAUX. 201 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,044 JOHN, YOU WANT TO GET IN HERE? 202 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,630 >> NOPE. 203 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:52,008 >> STEPHEN: OKAY! 204 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,552 BUT THE BIG NEWS OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN THE GOLDEN GLOBE FOR 205 00:09:54,635 --> 00:10:00,516 BEST ORIGINAL SCORE WAS WON BY OUR FRIEND, MR. JON BATISTE. 206 00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:01,350 COME ON! 207 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,019 FOR HIS WORK ON THE SOUNDTRACK OF "SOUL." 208 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,813 I'M SO HAPPY FOR JON. 209 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,189 I'M SO GRATEFUL TO BE ABLE TO WORK WITH HIM EVERY DAY, BECAUSE 210 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,360 A MAN OF HIS TALENT CAN WORK ANYWHERE... EXCEPT, EVIDENTLY, 211 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,696 THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS. 212 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:18,034 ONE PERSON NOT ENJOYING THE SPOTLIGHT RIGHT NOW IS NEW YORK 213 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:23,039 GOVERNOR AND SHAR PEI WHEN YOU BRING HOME THE NEW BABY, ANDREW 214 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:26,417 CUOMO. 215 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,711 FIRST, THE GOVERNOR WAS ARC CAUSED OF 216 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,547 COVERING UP COVID DEATHS IN NURSING HOMES, NOW TWO FORMER 217 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:32,673 AIDES ACCUSED HIM OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE WORKPLACE. 218 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,009 THE FIRST, A FORMER STATE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT OFFICIAL, 219 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:38,262 LINDSEY BOYLAN, SAID CUOMO HARASSED HER ON SEVERAL 220 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,599 OCCASIONS FROM 2016-2018, AT ONE POINT GIVING HER AN UNSOLICITED 221 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:50,024 KISS ON THE LIPS AT HIS MANHATTAN OFFICE. 222 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:54,904 SHE ALSO SAID ON A FLIGHT BACK ON A FLIGHT TO NEW YORK THE 223 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:59,742 GOVERNOR SAID LET'S PLAY STRIP POKER. 224 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:02,078 MY FIRST REACTION WAS: THAT IS ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE. 225 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,079 MY SECOND REACTION WAS: STRIP POKER ON A PLANE? 226 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,080 HOW LIMBER IS HE? 227 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,748 "ALL RIGHT, I GOT A PAIR OF TWOS. 228 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,709 THE REST IS SLOP. 229 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:09,919 GOTTA TAKE OFF THESE PANTS. 230 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,253 EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU MOVE YOUR SEAT-BACK UP? 231 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,757 MY BELT'S GETTING CAUGHT IN THE MAGAZINE POCKET." 232 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:19,095 BUT THEN, I FOUND OUT IT WAS A PRIVATE JET. 233 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,722 OR IN THIS CASE, "PRIVATES." 234 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,432 CUOMO'S OFFICE DENIED BOYLAN'S ACCUSATIONS, BUT THEN THE 235 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:27,103 GOVERNOR WAS ALSO ACCUSED OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT BY HIS FORMER 236 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,772 EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT AND HEALTH POLICY ADVISER, CHARLOTTE 237 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,274 BENNETT. 238 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:36,946 BENNETT HAD JUST TURNED 25 LAST YEAR WHEN CUOMO ASKED HER IN HIS 239 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,281 OFFICE IF SHE "HAD EVER BEEN WITH AN OLDER MAN." 240 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,409 (AS CUOMO) "REALLY OLD, BUT STILL KIND OF 241 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,326 CUT. 242 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,744 MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A NIPPLE RING? 243 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:50,751 RINGING ANY BELLS, THAT MIGHT BE HANGING FROM M NIPPLE RING?" 244 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:51,961 THIS TIME, CUOMO APOLOGIZED, BUT GAVE THIS EXCUSE: 245 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:58,968 "AT WORK SOMETIMES I THINK I AM BEING PLAYFUL AND MAKE JOKES 246 00:11:59,051 --> 00:11:59,969 THAT I THINK ARE FUNNY." 247 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,762 I KNOW THAT ONE. 248 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:02,471 "KNOCK-KNOCK." 249 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,973 "WHO'S THERE?" "AN OLDER MAN." 250 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:07,143 "AN OLDER MAN WHO?" "AN OLDER MAN WHO IS NOT TOO OLD 251 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:11,147 TO HAVE SEX WITH!" BENNETT ALSO SAYS THAT AS THEY 252 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:15,568 WERE DISCUSSING HER 25TH BIRTHDAY, CUOMO SAID THAT HE 253 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,988 FELT "HE'S FINE WITH ANYONE ABOVE THE AGE OF 22." 254 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:22,491 WOW, HER OFFICE BIRTHDAY PARTY MUST HAVE BEEN AWKWARD: 255 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,952 "HAPPY THIRD YEAR I'M WILLING TO DATE YOU!" 256 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:27,163 BENNETT BELIEVES THE GOVERNOR WAS GROOMING HER BY TRYING TO 257 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,790 GET CLOSE, REMEMBERING THAT AT ONE POINT THEY BONDED OVER THE 258 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,918 FACT THAT SHE HAD PLAYED MIDDLE-SCHOOL SOCCER AGAINST ONE 259 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,170 OF HIS DAUGHTERS. 260 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,798 I HOPE HE'S NOT ONE OF THOSE NIGHTMARE SPORTS DADS WHO'S 261 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,175 ALWAYS YELLING, "HEY, REF! 262 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:43,220 HOW OLD IS THAT ONE?" NOW, PEOPLE ARE CALLING FOR AN 263 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:47,516 INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION, LIKE NEW YORK MAYOR BILL DEBLASIO, 264 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,145 SEEN HERE PROVING NOT ALL SUPER HEROES WEAR CAPES, OR ARE SUPER, 265 00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:54,023 OR ARE HEROES. 266 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,817 DEBLASIO AND CUOMO ARE FRIENDLY RIVALS, MUCH THE SAME WAY A 267 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:59,195 COBRA AND A MONGOOSE LIKE TO KID EACH OTHER. 268 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:02,531 WHICH MAY BE WHY DEBLASIO SEEMED SO QUICK TO CALL CUOMO'S ALLEGED 269 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,577 BEHAVIOR "JUST DISGUSTING, CREEPY. 270 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,747 WHEN I HEARD IT, IT SICKENED ME, IT DISGUSTED ME, BUT IT ALSO 271 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:12,249 SOUNDED LIKE, YEAH, I COULD BELIEVE THAT HAPPENING, TOO. 272 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,836 AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED A FULL INVESTIGATION." 273 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,255 ADDING, "SOMEONE ELSE IS HATED MORE THAN ME! 274 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,215 YES! 275 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,842 KEEP INVESTIGATING. 276 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,844 I'M FREE! 277 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:27,264 SUCK IT, ANDY!" WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 278 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,808 TONIGHT. 279 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,603 MY GUESTS ARE ANDY SAMBERG AND CNN'S CLARISSA WARD. 280 00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,231 BUT WHEN WE RETURN, IS BEER GOOD FOR YOU NOW? 281 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:42,821 THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU, IF YOU THOUGHT YES. 282 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,843 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 283 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:11,433 WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT AND WITH 284 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:15,813 THE MAN HIMSELF, THE MAN OF THE HOUR, THE RECIPIENT OF LAST 285 00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:20,317 NIGHT'S GOLDEN GLOBE, MR. JON BATISTE, CONGRATULATIONS, MY 286 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:20,734 FRIEND! 287 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,486 >> Jon: WHOO! 288 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,946 OH, I'M FEELING GOOD! 289 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,991 I'M STILL IN THE VIBE! 290 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,200 HA HA, YEAH! 291 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:33,122 >> Stephen: OKAY, I'VE GOT A COUPLE OF QUICK QUESTIONS HERE. 292 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,457 A, HOW DOES IT FEEL? 293 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:44,133 DID YOU TALK WITH YOUR CO-RECIPIENTS MR. TRET RESNER 294 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,301 AND -- >> Jon: ATTICUS ROSS. 295 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:47,803 WE WERE JUST ON THE PHONE BECAUSE WE WERE LAUGHING AT THE 296 00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:53,142 PRONUNCIATION. 297 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:58,939 >> Stephen: INSTEAD OF SOUL, TRACY MORGAN SAID SOWL. 298 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:05,154 I THOUGHT, DID HE WIN? 299 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:08,490 >> Jon: I WAS LOOKING AROUND AND THEN SAW MYSELF ON THE THING 300 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,950 AND I SAID, OH, WE WON! 301 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:12,953 YAY! 302 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,289 >> Stephen: HE DIDN'T TELL YOU, YOU TOLD YOU. 303 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:23,172 >> Jon: YEAH, SOWL, I DIDN'T HEAR THAT ONE IN THE LIST. 304 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,548 WE WERE TEXTING EACH OTHER. 305 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,051 THAT WAS THE JOKE WE WERE HAVING ALL NIGHT LONG. 306 00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:29,094 THAT WAS FUN, MAN, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 307 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,472 >> Jon: WELL DESERVED. 308 00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:35,142 WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SCORE. 309 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:39,688 GOD, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO PUT IT? 310 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,524 >> Jon: I KNOW, I'VE GOT TO FIGURE THAT OUT. 311 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,026 WE'VE GOT SOME SHELVES OVER THE PIANO, SO I COULD JUST LOOK AT 312 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:48,864 IT AND THINK, WOW, MAYBE I'LL GET BACK TO THIS ONE DAY. 313 00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:51,075 >> Stephen: AND MAYBE MAKE IT A BIG SHELF BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING 314 00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:54,703 TO LOAD THEM UP AS THE YEARS GO ON. 315 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,204 CONGRATULATIONS. 316 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,705 >> Jon: OH, MAN. 317 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,956 >> Stephen: I WISH YOU COULD GO OUT AND CELEBRATE RIGHT NOW 318 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,209 BUT I CAN NOT WAIT TO CELEBRATE WITH YOU WHEN WE CAN SEE EACH 319 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,335 OTHER IN PERSON. 320 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:04,380 >> Jon: YEAH, I LOVE THE VIDEO YOU SENT ME LAST NIGHT. 321 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:08,884 >> Stephen: THAT'S A VIDEO OF EVIE AND JOHN SAYING 322 00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:09,468 CONGRATULATIONS. 323 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,930 WELL, IT'S FROM THE HEART. 324 00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:15,724 THAT'S WONDERFUL, JON, CONGRATS. 325 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,850 >> Jon: THANK YOU, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 326 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,018 >> Stephen: GOLDEN GLOBE WINNER, JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY. 327 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,770 THANK YOU, JON. 328 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:20,187 >> Jon: HEY! 329 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,313 >> Stephen:. 330 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,064 >> Stephen: FOLKS, WE'RE ALL TRYING TO STAY HEALTHY THESE 331 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,441 DAYS. 332 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,068 LUCKILY, THERE'S A NEW LINE OF PRODUCTS THAT WON'T HELP AT ALL. 333 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:30,614 BECAUSE THE NEWEST TREND IN SPORTS BEVERAGES IS SOMETHING 334 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,699 CALLED "PERFORMANCE BEER." 335 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:34,451 WHAT IS A "PERFORMANCE BEER," EXACTLY? 336 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,412 IT'S BEER WITH ADDED ELECTROLYTES TO HELP THE BODY 337 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,122 DEHYDRATE LESS. 338 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,416 IT'S A BEER THAT KEEPS YOU GOING, SO YOU'VE GOT THE STAMINA 339 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,835 TO DRINK MORE BEER. 340 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:46,213 EXPLAINS THIS NEWEST AD: "ELECTRO LITE: ALL THE ENERGY 341 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:51,051 YOU NEED TO JUMP OFF MARK'S ROOF." 342 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:53,971 NOW, IF YOU FEEL LIKE SUCKING DOWN A COLD, HEALTHY ONE, THERE 343 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:59,560 ARE PLENTY OF BEERS TO CHOOSE FROM, LIKE "HARPOON BREWERY REC 344 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:03,105 LEAGUE," "BOULEVARD EASY SPORT," AND ZELUS BEER COMPANY'S 345 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,773 "WEEKENDER." 346 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,192 CAUTION: DO NOT TRY DRIVING YOUR JEEP, YOUR BIKE, OR YOUR BIKE ON 347 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:11,238 TOP OF YOUR JEEP WHILE DRINKING WEEKENDER. 348 00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,616 BUT AS A FAN OF RECREATIONAL BRAIN DAMAGE, I'M THRILLED THAT 349 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,910 THEY'RE FINALLY MAKING BOOZE LIKE SPORTS DRINKS. 350 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,747 AND I THINK IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE ALCOHOL MAKERS 351 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,582 START TARGETING THEIR BEVERAGES AT SPECIFIC GROUPS OF ATHLETES. 352 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:27,129 GET READY FOR "SWIMMER'S WINE," AND "VAULT: THE POLE-VAULTERS' 353 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:28,213 VODKA." 354 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:33,761 YOU KNOW THEIR MOTTO: "I BET YOU CAN DO IT!" 355 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:39,141 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANDY SAMBERG. 356 00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:47,107 ♪♪♪ 357 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:53,864 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: EAIVED. 358 00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:55,324 WELCOME BACK. 359 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:58,285 MY FIRST GUEST IS AN EMMY-AWARD WINNING ACTOR, COMEDIAN, WRITER, 360 00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,329 AND PRODUCER YOU KNOW FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," "BROOKLYN 361 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,706 NINE-NINE," AND HIS LATEST FILM, "PALM SPRINGS." 362 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:08,504 PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," ANDY SAMBERG. 363 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:09,588 HI, ANDY. 364 00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:10,506 >> HI! 365 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,216 >> Stephen: HEY, GOOD TO SEE YA. 366 00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:13,342 >> YOU, TOO. 367 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:13,967 HOW ARE YA? 368 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:14,384 >> Stephen: GOOD. 369 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,512 I'M LIKING THIS. 370 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:17,971 THIS IS NICE. 371 00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:22,726 >> YEAH, I HAVE BEEN SAYING I TRIED TO GET THE JAMIE DORNIN 372 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,813 PART IN BARB AND STAR BUT NO DICE. 373 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,190 >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE GOING TO CHALLENGE ME TO 374 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,360 A DUEL OR SUGGEST A THREE-WAY. 375 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,363 >> YOU WOULD THINK BEING FRIENDS WITH WIG WOULD HAVE PUT ME OVER 376 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,698 BUT NOT EVEN CLOSE APPARENTLY. 377 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,866 WASN'T EVEN CONSIDERED. 378 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,369 >> Stephen: BEFORE WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING, I HAVE TO HIT 379 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,373 YOU WITH A BIG THANKS FOR A MOVIE THAT I WAS A LITTLE LATE 380 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:49,878 TO, ADMITTEDLY, AND THAT IS POP STAR, NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING. 381 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,882 AND IF PEOPLE OUT THERE HAVE NOT SEEN IT, PLEASE, TURN OFF THIS 382 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:58,554 SHOW RIGHT NOW -- NO, ( BLEEP THIS SHOW, GO WATCH POP STAR 383 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,889 NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING. 384 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:04,059 IT IS POUND FOR POUND ONE OF THE FUNNIEST MOVIES I'VE EVER SEEN. 385 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,228 I WATCHED IT THREE TIMES OVER THE CHRISTMAS BREAK. 386 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:06,645 I WATCH IT. 387 00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,647 I KEEP IT ON. 388 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:09,815 I OWN IT. 389 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:13,902 I JUST POP IT ON EVERY FEW MINUTES TO CHEER ME UP A LITTLE 390 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:14,736 BIT. 391 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,031 IT'S MY ZOLOFT, IT'S MY XANAX. 392 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:22,077 FIRST OF ALL -- I'LL LET YOU TALK EVENTUALLY -- THE MUSIC IS 393 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,912 NOT ONLY FUNNY, BUT IT'S REALLY GOOD. 394 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,124 YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GAY, BUT IF I WAS, I WOULD DEMAND EQUAL 395 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:28,375 RIGHTS! 396 00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:29,960 COME ON! 397 00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:34,882 ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, I HOPE EVERYBODY WAXINGS 398 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,383 THAT POETICALLY TO YOU ABOUT THIS MOVIE. 399 00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,594 I MEAN -- >> EVERY NOW AND AGAIN. 400 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:42,431 THIS IS A DREAM SCENARIO FOR ME, OBVIOUSLY, ESPECIALLY 401 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:45,142 CONSIDERING WE PUT THE MOVIE OUT A WHILE AGO. 402 00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:48,145 >> Stephen: 20, 25 YEARS AGO, SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 403 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:51,690 >> IT FEELS LIKE IT, AT LEAST. 404 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:56,069 IT WAS PRE-BEARD, LET'S PUT IT THAT WAY. 405 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,654 >> Stephen: SURE. 406 00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,574 IT FEELS LIKE IT'S SLOWLY FINDING ITS AUDIENCE, 407 00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:03,619 DEFINITELY, AND YEAR BY YEAR, I THINK IT GAINS MORE AND MORE 408 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:07,414 MOMENTUM AND MAKES ME HAPPY TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT, OBVIOUSLY. 409 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:10,125 ANYONE LIKE YOURSELF IN THIS COMEDY WORLD -- 410 00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:13,128 >> Stephen: NOT AS HAPPY AS IT MAKES ME TO SEE IT. 411 00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:18,133 JOKE PER MINUTE RATIO CANNOT BE PETE BEATEN. 412 00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:22,429 AND THROWAWAY JOKES YOU'RE NOT PUSHING HARD. 413 00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:23,972 >> YEAH. 414 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,100 >> Stephen: YOU MADE IT WITH YOUR LONELY ISLAND COHORTS AND 415 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:31,313 YOU GUYS WENT ON TOUR BEFORE THE PANDEMIC AND SOME OF MY STAFF 416 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:34,650 WENT TO SEE IT AND SAID IT WAS JUST AMAZING. 417 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:39,154 IS IT SURREAL TO HEAR PEOPLE SINGING ALONG WITH THESE 418 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,489 BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID SONGS? 419 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,658 >> IT'S SO DUMB. 420 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:43,825 IT'S SO WONDERFULLY DUMB. 421 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:48,622 YOU KNOW, WE -- BEFORE WE GOT ON S.N.L. AND STUFF, WE WERE 422 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:54,378 OBSESSED WITH LIKE TENACIOUS D AND WEIRD AL AND SPINAL TAP, 423 00:20:54,461 --> 00:21:04,513 OBVIOUSLY, BUT WE GOT TO GO TO A TENACIOUS D CONCERT THAT WERE 424 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,682 QUITE DUMB AND INCREDIBLY DIRTY. 425 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,017 BUT WE DIDN'T THINK IT COULD BE US. 426 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:13,855 IT WAS THREE DUDES GOOFING AROUND WITH A MICROPHONE, BUT 427 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:18,151 SUDDENLY BEING IN FRONT OF 30,000 PEOPLE SINGING I'M ON A 428 00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,362 BOAT OR ( BLEEP ) IN A BOX. 429 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,989 >> Stephen: SURE. 430 00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:24,658 BUT IT'S NOT LIKE MANIFESTING THE CARTOON WORLD IN YOUR MIND 431 00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:25,867 INTO REALITY. 432 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:30,163 >> Stephen: WELL, AS I SAID, I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOUR STUFF TO 433 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,540 CHEER ME UP DURING THE PANDEMIC. 434 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:32,666 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 435 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,376 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO CHEER YOURSELF UP? 436 00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:40,173 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR MIND OFF THE PARANOIA? 437 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,133 >> A LOT OF PARENTING. 438 00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:42,884 I'VE GOT A THREE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER. 439 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,554 >> Stephen: YOU CAME TO THE PANDEMIC PRE-EXHAUSTED? 440 00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:50,100 >> YES, I HAD ALREADY HIT THE WALL. 441 00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:51,727 >> Stephen: AND DOES SHE KEEP YOU IN LINE? 442 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,688 BECAUSE THE PEOPLE -- I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT THE PEOPLE WHO 443 00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:58,525 CALL IT THE TERRIBLE TWOs HAVE NEVER HAD A THREE-YEAR-OLD. 444 00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,694 >> RIGHT. 445 00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:01,903 >> Stephen: IT'S NOT THAT THEY'RE NOT WONDERFUL BUT 446 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,406 THEY'RE EVEN MORE HEAD STRONG AND PHYSICALLY STRONGER, TOO. 447 00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:05,532 >> OH, YEAH. 448 00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:07,409 >> Stephen: DOES SHE PUSH YOU AROUND? 449 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:10,078 >> SHE PUSHES ME AROUND. 450 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,079 THERE'S A LOT GOING ON. 451 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,289 IT'S DEFINITELY MORE EXCITING AND INTERESTING. 452 00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:14,249 >> Stephen: YEAH. 453 00:22:14,332 --> 00:22:16,918 AND SHE CAN HURT ME NOW AND DOES. 454 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:20,589 BUT SHE'S ALSO, LIKE, STARTED DOING BITS, WITH I IS A DREAM 455 00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,591 FOR ME, OBVIOUSLY. 456 00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:24,134 >> Stephen: GOOD STUFF? 457 00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:26,094 I'LL WALK IN HER ROOM AND SHE'S CLEARLY UP TO SOMETHING 458 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,597 AND I GO, WHAT'S GOING ON, KIDDO? 459 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,391 AND SHE WILL BE, LIKE, OH, DADDY! 460 00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:34,436 EVERYTHING HERE IS TOTALLY NORMAL! 461 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:38,106 ( LAUGHTER ) NOTHING TO SEE HERE, DADDY. 462 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:42,569 AND I'M, LIKE, ARE YOU WATCHING OLD COMEDIES? 463 00:22:42,652 --> 00:22:45,405 SHE'S GOT ALL THE LINGO DOWN. 464 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:48,825 AND OBVIOUSLY SHE'S STUFFING BEANS INTO MY SHOES OR 465 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:49,951 SOMETHING. 466 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:50,577 >> Stephen: DOES SHE THINK YOU'RE FUNNY? 467 00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:52,621 >> SHE'S STARTING TO NOW. 468 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:56,792 THERE WAS A LONG TIME WHERE SHE WOULD TALK A LOT ABOUT HOW 469 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,377 MOMMY'S FUNNY AND DADDY'S NOT FUNNY. 470 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:02,631 BUT NOW SHE'S KEYING INTO MY THING, YOU KNOW. 471 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:06,885 SHE REALIZES, LIKE, I'LL JUST KEEP DOING SOMETHING UNTIL SHE 472 00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:08,970 LAUGHS, WHICH IS MY MAIN MOVE IN LIFE AND CAREER. 473 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,640 >> Stephen: DO YOU WANT HER TO SEE YOUR STUFF? 474 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,850 IS THERE STUFF YOU DON'T WANT HER TO SEE? 475 00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:18,855 >> I MEAN, EVENTUALLY, I WANT HER TO SEE IT DID ALL. 476 00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,315 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I KEPT MY KIDS FOR 477 00:23:20,398 --> 00:23:22,109 A LONG TIME FROM SEEING ANYTHING. 478 00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:23,652 LKE JUST DON'T WATCH ANYTHING. 479 00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:26,822 I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR DAD, I DON'T WANT TO BE ON TV. 480 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:29,407 >> BUT WE'RE SIMILAR IN THAT THERE'S A RANGE, RIGHT? 481 00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:34,162 LIKE YOU PROBABLY WANT THEM TO BE TEENAGERS AT LEAST UNTIL THEY 482 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:35,455 SAY ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVES, STRANGERS WITH CANDY. 483 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:38,500 >> Stephen: THEY STILL HAVEN'T WATCHED THAT, AND THAT'S FINE 484 00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:39,292 WITH ME. 485 00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:39,709 >> NOT FINE WITH ME. 486 00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:41,878 THAT'S CLASSIC. 487 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:48,176 >> Stephen: SOMETIMES I WATCH IT AND GO, WE WROTE THAT? 488 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:48,885 >> IT'S SO GOOD. 489 00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:50,053 IT'S SO GOOD. 490 00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:53,223 >> Stephen: MY DAUGHTER LOOKED AT ME, I WAS ON A PHONE CALL 491 00:23:53,306 --> 00:23:59,020 WITH PAUL DINELLO I WROTE STRANGERS WITH, AND I GOT OFF 492 00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:04,901 THE PHONE AND SHE WAS LOOKING AT ME SIDEWAYS LIKE THIS, LIKE SHE 493 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,153 WAS JUST THINKING ABILITY WHAT I SAID. 494 00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:06,570 SHE SAID, WERE YOU -- I SAID, WERE YOU LISTENING TO THE PHONE 495 00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:07,529 CALL? 496 00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:08,321 SHE SAID, I THINK I UNDERSTAND NOW. 497 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:14,744 YOU DON'T MEAN WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 498 00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:19,916 I SAID, YES, DADDY DOESN'T MEAN WHAT HE'S SAYING "FOR A LIVING." 499 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,752 >> HOW OLD IS SHE, DO YOU THINK? 500 00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:25,213 >> Stephen: SEVEN, EIGHT, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 501 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,550 >> THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE, LIKE, SARCASM CLICKS. 502 00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:29,968 >> Stephen: JUST BEGINNING TO GO. 503 00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:35,015 >> THAT'S WHERE I GET IN TROUBLE WITH MY DAUGHTER WITH SARCASM. 504 00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:37,517 SHE JUST SHUTS DOWN. 505 00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:38,560 SHE'S, LIKE, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? 506 00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:43,565 >> Stephen: A THREE AND A HALF-YEAR-OLD BARELY HAS A 507 00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:48,904 VOCABULARY OTHER LIKE THE NUANCES OF DOUBLE ENTANDRA, 508 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:52,908 TERRIBLE FATHER. 509 00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:56,578 MOM'S ALWAYS FANNY, DAD'S BEGINNING TO BE FUNNY. 510 00:24:56,661 --> 00:25:01,458 YOU'RE MARRIED TO SUPERSTAR HARPIST JOANNA NEWSOM. 511 00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:03,126 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 512 00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:04,586 >> Stephen: HOW MUCH HAS HARP MUSIC PLAYED INTO THE PANDEMIC? 513 00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:09,925 IS IT SOOTHING OR MAYBE YOU'VE SUCCUMBED AND YOU'RE IN HEAVEN 514 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,218 NOW? 515 00:25:11,301 --> 00:25:14,638 >> YEAH, YOU DO FEEL LIKE YOU'VE PASSED THROUGH THE PEARLY GATES. 516 00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:18,600 BUT, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE THAT BEFORE FOR ME. 517 00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:22,604 I MET JOANNA AT ONE OF HER CONCERTS, I WAS A HUGE FAN OF 518 00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:24,272 HEARSE BEFORE WE KNEW EACH OTHER. 519 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:31,947 >> Stephen: BEFORE GOING INTO THIS YOU WERE A HARPHEAD. 520 00:25:32,030 --> 00:25:32,739 >> A MAJOR HARPHEAD. 521 00:25:32,822 --> 00:25:35,951 >> Stephen: HAVE YOU TRIED IT. 522 00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:39,454 YEAH, I'VE TICKLED THE SHEEP GUTS. 523 00:25:39,537 --> 00:25:41,873 >> Stephen: IT'S NOT NYLON? 524 00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:43,583 IT'S SHEEP GUTS? 525 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:47,754 >> ONE DAY WE WERE TALKING ABOUT TICKLING THE IVORIES, SHE SAYS 526 00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:51,633 WITH A HARP IT'S SHEEP GUTS SO YOU TICKLE THE SHEEP GUTS. 527 00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:56,513 DOESN'T HAVE QUITE THE RING TO IT, BUT THE MUSIC COMES OUT 528 00:25:56,596 --> 00:25:57,180 QUITE BEAUTIFUL. 529 00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:58,640 >> Stephen: SO CAN YOU DO IT? 530 00:25:58,723 --> 00:26:02,686 HE TAUGHT ME ANYONE CAN PLAY HARP AND IT WILL SOUND GOOD 531 00:26:02,769 --> 00:26:07,649 BECAUSE YOU JUST STRUM IT AND IT'S ALL IN TUNE. 532 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:11,653 SO IT'S EASY TO PLAY THE HARP BUT IMPOSSIBLE TO PLAY IT WELL, 533 00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:13,196 BASICALLY. 534 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:14,823 >> Stephen: YOU GET TO BE INTERMEDIATE IMMEDIATELY AND YOU 535 00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:17,617 NEVER GO ANYWHERE ELSE. 536 00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:19,995 >> EXACTLY. 537 00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:26,001 >> Stephen: YOU'RE LATEST FILM IS "PALM SPRINGS," A HUGE HIT, 538 00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:28,670 DEBUTED AT SUNDANCE. 539 00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:32,007 THE LAST TIME, I THINK, PEOPLE IN SHOW BUSINESS WERE ALLOWED TO 540 00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:37,554 GET TOGETHER AND WATCH EACH OTHERS' MOVIES, ACTUALLY. 541 00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:40,015 THINGS SHUT DOWN RIGHT AROUND NOW A YEAR AGO. 542 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:41,516 >> YEAH. 543 00:26:41,599 --> 00:26:45,687 >> Stephen: AND IT'S A PERFECT COVID MOVIE THEMATICALLY. 544 00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:48,606 TELL THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WHAT IT'S ABOUT. 545 00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:53,737 >> IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT A WEDDING IN "PALM SPRINGS," AND WITHOUT 546 00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:57,866 GIVING TOO MUCH AWAY, YOU BASICALLY LEARN QUICKLY ONE OF 547 00:26:57,949 --> 00:27:01,828 THE GUESTS IS STUCK THERE IN A TIME LOOP, SO HE'S RELIVING THAT 548 00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:07,042 DAY OVER AND OVER AGAIN, THAT'S ME, AND THEN THROUGH SOME 549 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:10,253 ENTERTAINING CIRCUMSTANCES, HE ACCIDENTALLY BRINGS SOMEONE ELSE 550 00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:14,007 IN AS WELL. 551 00:27:14,090 --> 00:27:15,216 >> Stephen: TO THE LOOP. 552 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:18,386 SO SOMEONE ELSE BECOMES AWARE OF IT. 553 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:19,888 >> YEAH. 554 00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:21,222 MY BUDDY KRISTEN WHO CO-STARS IN THE MOVIE WITH ME AND TAKES OFF 555 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:22,349 FROM THERE. 556 00:27:22,432 --> 00:27:24,851 >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE, SHOWS HOW YOUR CHARACTER 557 00:27:24,934 --> 00:27:29,564 USES THE TIME LOOP TO HIS ADVANTAGE, I THINK TO SEDUCE 558 00:27:29,647 --> 00:27:30,732 HER? 559 00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:33,860 >> IN HIS OWN MIND THAT'S WHAT HE I.C.E.'S ATTEMPTING. 560 00:27:33,943 --> 00:27:35,862 HE KNOWS EVERYTHING GOING ON HERE BUT SHE DOESN'T. 561 00:27:35,945 --> 00:27:39,741 SHE'S STILL ON THE OUTSIDE OF IT ALL. 562 00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:41,284 >> Stephen: JIM. 563 00:27:45,288 --> 00:27:55,256 ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ 564 00:27:55,340 --> 00:28:05,308 ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ 565 00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:15,402 ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ 566 00:28:15,485 --> 00:28:25,245 ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ 567 00:28:25,328 --> 00:28:25,495 UP >> Stephen: SMOOTH OPERATOR. 568 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:29,791 THAT'S MY SONG. 569 00:28:29,874 --> 00:28:33,294 I'M STILL ROCKING TO THAT SONG. 570 00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:34,921 >> Stephen: "PALM SPRINGS" IS AVAILABLE ON HULU NOW. 571 00:28:35,004 --> 00:28:37,257 ANDY SAMBERG, EVERYBODY. 572 00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:41,428 WE'LL BE BACK WITH CNN'S CHIEF INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENT 573 00:28:41,511 --> 00:28:44,264 CLARISSA WARD! 574 00:28:44,347 --> 00:28:44,389 ♪♪♪ 575 00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:56,901 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK, 576 00:28:56,901 --> 00:28:58,445 EVERYBODY. 577 00:28:58,528 --> 00:28:59,821 MY NEXT GUEST IS CNN'S CHIEF INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENT AND 578 00:28:59,904 --> 00:29:04,117 A PEABODY-AWARD WINNING JOURNALIST WHO HAS SPENT MORE 579 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,952 THAN 15 YEARS REPORTING FROM FRONT LINES ALL OVER THE WORLD. 580 00:29:06,035 --> 00:29:11,166 PLEASE WELCOME, CLARISSA WARD. 581 00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:12,000 CLARISSA, THANKS FOR BEING HERE. 582 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:12,959 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME. 583 00:29:13,042 --> 00:29:15,170 >> Stephen: ESPECIALLY BEING HERE FROM LONDON. 584 00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:16,504 IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. 585 00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:17,881 SO THANKS FOR STAYING UP. 586 00:29:17,964 --> 00:29:18,840 >> IT'S OKAY. 587 00:29:18,923 --> 00:29:20,508 I'M USED TO IT. 588 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:21,801 >> Stephen: YOU GREW UP BOTH IN THE UNITED STATES AND IN THE 589 00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:24,179 U.K. 590 00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:26,306 AND I WATCHED, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF CNN, AND I SEE YOU ON THERE 591 00:29:26,389 --> 00:29:27,474 REPORTING FROM AROUND THE WORLD. 592 00:29:27,557 --> 00:29:31,561 SOMETIMES YOU SOUND LIKE AN AMERICAN, AND IN THE MIDDLE OF 593 00:29:31,644 --> 00:29:35,899 THE SENTENCE, IT WILL SWITCH OVER AND SOUND BRITISH. 594 00:29:35,982 --> 00:29:38,735 IS THAT A TOGGLE YOU CAN SWITCH OR JUST SOME WORDS YOU CAN'T GET 595 00:29:38,818 --> 00:29:40,904 AWAY FROM? 596 00:29:40,987 --> 00:29:42,739 >> YOU KNOW, I'VE TRIED OVER THE YEARS TO REFINE IT. 597 00:29:42,822 --> 00:29:47,327 I OFTEN SAY IT'S LIKE BEING BILINGUAL BUT IT'S UTTERLY 598 00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:49,120 USELESS -- ( BRITISH ACCENT ) 599 00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:51,873 WHEN I'M ON THE PHONE WITH AN AMERICAN, I SOUND TO ITLY 600 00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:59,214 AMERICAN BUT WITH MY FATHER I'M BRITISH. 601 00:29:59,297 --> 00:30:00,965 I TRY TO KEEP IT STREAMLINE. 602 00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:05,803 I WOULD BE GETTING SHOT AT AND PEOPLE WOULD BE, LIKE, WHERE IS 603 00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:06,679 SHE FROM? 604 00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:08,598 IS SHE A CANADIAN? 605 00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:12,227 I WOULD SAY, PEOPLE, FOCUS, I'M AMERICAN. 606 00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:14,270 >> Stephen: WHERE IS SHE FROM? 607 00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:15,605 WHAT'S HER DEAL? 608 00:30:15,688 --> 00:30:21,236 YOU HAVE INTERVIEWED JIHADISTS, EMBEDDED WITH THE TALIBAN, 609 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:26,199 SURVIVED BOMBINGS, REPORTED FROM COUNTLESS WAR ZONES. 610 00:30:26,282 --> 00:30:30,245 RAFF RISKING YOUR RIFE TO -- AFTER RISKING YOUR LIFE TO TRY 611 00:30:30,328 --> 00:30:35,792 TO BRING THE VIEWING PUBLIC THE TRUTH ABOUT A SITUATION, HOW 612 00:30:35,875 --> 00:30:38,795 DOES IT FEEL TO HEAR WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING DESCRIBED BY SOME 613 00:30:38,878 --> 00:30:45,093 CORNERS TO HAVE THE INTERNET AND POLITICS AS FAKE NEWS? 614 00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:48,221 >> UM, IT'S DEPRESSING. 615 00:30:48,304 --> 00:30:49,931 IT'S DEPRESSING, IT'S DEMORALIZING, ESPECIALLY WHEN 616 00:30:50,014 --> 00:30:55,478 YOU'RE ON A FRONT LINE SOMEWHERE RISKING YOUR LIFE TO TELL OTHER 617 00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:56,563 PEOPLE'S STORIES. 618 00:30:56,646 --> 00:30:59,274 I ALSO THINK IT CAN BE INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS NOT JUST 619 00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:02,235 FOR ME AND MY COLLEAGUES AS WESTERN JOURNALISTS BUT ALSO 620 00:31:02,318 --> 00:31:05,905 LOOKING AROUND SOME OF THE CORNERS OF THE EARTH THAT I 621 00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:11,119 SPEND TIME, LOCAL JOURNALISTS IN COUNTRIES ARE AUTHORITARIAN 622 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:13,913 REGIMES FEEL EMBOLDENED WHEN FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP SAYS THAT 623 00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:18,459 PRESS IS THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE OR USES THIS SORT OF MONIKER OF 624 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:19,752 FAKE NEWS. 625 00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:22,547 I THINK IT CAN BE INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS. 626 00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:25,633 THOSE PEOPLE MIGHT END UP IN PRISON OR BEING PUNISHED FOR 627 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:26,968 THAT. 628 00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:29,804 BUT MORE BROADLY SPEAKING, STEPHEN, I THINK THIS IS REALLY 629 00:31:29,887 --> 00:31:33,099 ULTIMATELY, IT'S A RALLYING CRY, OKAY, AND IT'S TIME FOR 630 00:31:33,182 --> 00:31:36,728 JOURNALISTS TO ROLL UP THEIR SLEEVES AND MAN UP AND, YES, 631 00:31:36,811 --> 00:31:38,938 OKAY, WE CAN FEEL SORRY FOR OURSELVES THAT THIS IS BEING 632 00:31:39,022 --> 00:31:42,984 LEVELED AT US, BUT ACTUALLY THIS IS A MOMENT WHERE WE REALLY NEED 633 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:47,155 TO STEP IN AND STAND UP HERE, BECAUSE ONE OF THE GREATEST 634 00:31:47,238 --> 00:31:53,161 THREATS FACING OUR SOCIETY RIGHT NOW IS THE CONSTANT BARRAGE OF 635 00:31:53,244 --> 00:31:56,789 MISINFORMATION, DISINFORMATION THAT IS READILY BEING GOBBLED 636 00:31:56,873 --> 00:32:00,168 UP, SEEMINGLY BY A GROWING NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. 637 00:32:00,251 --> 00:32:02,879 AND THAT'S A REAL THREAT, THAT IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. 638 00:32:02,962 --> 00:32:07,342 IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT PEOPLE BELIEVING IN LIES, WHICH IS 639 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:10,887 DANGEROUS, IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE NO LONGER BELIEVING IN TRUTH. 640 00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:15,391 AND ONCE YOU HAVE A SOCIETY THAT NO LONGER BELIEVES IN TRUTH, 641 00:32:15,475 --> 00:32:18,353 THAT IS UNABLE TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN FACT AND FICTION, THAT 642 00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:22,190 DOESN'T EVEN AGREE THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS TRUTH, THAT'S 643 00:32:22,273 --> 00:32:27,320 SOCIETY IS UNIQUELY VULNERABLE TO TOTALITARIANISM. 644 00:32:27,403 --> 00:32:28,863 IT'S NOT JUST ME SEEING THIS. 645 00:32:28,946 --> 00:32:30,031 IT WAS WRITTEN ABOUT AFTER THE SECOND WORLD WAR. 646 00:32:30,114 --> 00:32:34,369 THIS IS A REAL THREAT AND IT'S TIME FOR US TO MAN UP AND STEP 647 00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:35,578 IN AND DO OUR JOBS. 648 00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:40,833 >> Stephen: WELL, YOU'VE GOT A NEW BOOK CALLED "ON ALL FRONTS: 649 00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:42,126 THE EDUCATION OF A JOURNALIST." 650 00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:44,045 I'LL PUT IT RIGHT OVER THERE SO WE CAN GET THE PICTURE. 651 00:32:44,128 --> 00:32:47,048 THERE'S SOME EXTRAORDINARY STORIES HERE OF SOME OF THE 652 00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:49,676 SITUATIONS YOU FOUND SOULFUL IN. 653 00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:52,845 PEOPLE HAVE CALLED -- FOUND YOURSELF IN. 654 00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:55,348 PEOPLE HAVE CALLED YOU FEARLESS. 655 00:32:55,431 --> 00:32:56,432 ISN'T THAT TRUE? 656 00:32:56,516 --> 00:33:01,562 ISN'T FEAR USEFUL EVOLUTIONARILY SPEAKING? 657 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:04,774 >> IT'S ONE OF MY PET PEEVES. 658 00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:10,613 PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE SO FEARLESS, I SAY WHAT A LOT OF RUBBISH. 659 00:33:10,697 --> 00:33:12,824 READ THE BOOK. 660 00:33:12,907 --> 00:33:16,119 I'M PETRIFIED HALF THE TIME AND IF YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE STUPID 661 00:33:16,202 --> 00:33:19,455 BECAUSE YOU'RE IN SITUATIONS WHERE YOUR LIFE IS AT RISK. 662 00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:23,126 FEAR PLAYS A ROLE EVOLUTIONARILY IN DETERMINING AND DICTATING HOW 663 00:33:23,209 --> 00:33:26,379 YOU GET YOURSELF OUT OF THOSE SITUATIONS. 664 00:33:26,462 --> 00:33:30,800 BUT, YES, I FEEL DEEP FEAR AND THAT FEAR IS AN IMPORTANT 665 00:33:30,883 --> 00:33:34,887 REMINDER TO HAVE THE ENORMITY OF SOME OF THE STUFF WE'RE TRYING 666 00:33:34,971 --> 00:33:36,055 TO DO. 667 00:33:36,139 --> 00:33:40,810 >> Stephen: IN 2019, YOU EMBEDDED WITH THE TALIBAN IN 668 00:33:40,893 --> 00:33:41,602 AFGHANISTAN. 669 00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:42,812 WHAT'S THAT EXPERIENCE LIKE? 670 00:33:42,895 --> 00:33:47,650 AS A WOMAN IN SOCIETY WHO HOLDS WOMEN NOT AS EQUAL, EVEN WORSE 671 00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:51,279 THAN THAT, EVEN ALMOST AS CHATTEL PROPERTY, WHAT WAS THAT 672 00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:53,114 EXPERIENCE LIKE FOR YOU AS A FEMALE JOURNALIST? 673 00:33:53,197 --> 00:33:56,909 >> I THINK AS A FEMALE JOURNALIST WHEN YOU'RE DOING 674 00:33:56,993 --> 00:34:01,748 THIS WORK, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LEAVE A LOT OF YOUR 675 00:34:01,831 --> 00:34:04,917 STUFF AT THE DOOR IN TERMS OF WHAT YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE. 676 00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:08,129 WHEN YOU'RE GOING INTO SOMEBODY ELSE'S TERRITORY, YOU NEED TO BE 677 00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:11,007 ABLE TO ACCEPT THEIR TERMS OF ENGAGEMENT AND ACCEPT THEIR 678 00:34:11,090 --> 00:34:12,633 SOCIETY. 679 00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:15,136 SO I UNDERSTOOD FROM THE GET-GO I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO COVER 680 00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:18,306 MYSELF COMPLETELY INCLUDING MY FACE. 681 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:22,143 I UNDERSTOOD MY PRODUCER AND I WERE GOING TO HAVE TO SLEEP 682 00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:28,024 SEPARATELY IN A DIFFERENT PART OF THE HOUSE FROM OUR MALE 683 00:34:28,107 --> 00:34:29,984 CAMERAMAN WHO WE WERE WORKING WITH. 684 00:34:30,067 --> 00:34:33,279 WHAT I HADN'T QUITE BARGAINED ON IS WHEN I WAS INTERVIEWING THE 685 00:34:33,362 --> 00:34:35,531 TALIBAN COMMANDER THAT I WOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO WALK TOWN 686 00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:38,993 THE STREET WITH HIM WHILE WE WERE DOING THIS INTERVIEW AND, 687 00:34:39,076 --> 00:34:44,540 IN FACT, IT CAUSED A HUGE RUCKUS WHEN I EVEN SUGGESTED IT AND HE 688 00:34:44,624 --> 00:34:47,460 GOT FRUSTRATED AND SAID WHY DIDN'T SHE BRING A MAN WITH HER 689 00:34:47,543 --> 00:34:50,713 TO DO THE INTERVIEWS AND I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT'S NOT 690 00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,173 REALLY THE WAY IT WORKS. 691 00:34:52,256 --> 00:34:56,344 BUT I DID IT, IN THE END, AND I WALKED BEHIND HIM AS WE WALKED 692 00:34:56,427 --> 00:34:59,472 DOWN THE STREET, AND IT DIDN'T FEEL GREAT, BUT, AT THE SAME 693 00:34:59,555 --> 00:35:02,892 TIME, IT ILLUSTRATED THE POINT THAT WE WERE TRYING TO SHOW, I'M 694 00:35:02,975 --> 00:35:06,145 NOT INTERESTED IN SHOWING THE WORLD SOME SANITIZED GLAMORIZED 695 00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:09,232 VERSION OF THE TALIBAN, I WANT TO SHOW THE WORLD WHAT IT'S 696 00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:10,733 REALLY LIKE. 697 00:35:10,817 --> 00:35:13,319 THE ONLY OTHER THING I WOULD SAY, STEPHEN, AND THIS IS THE 698 00:35:13,402 --> 00:35:17,323 PART THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ON TO THE NEWS AND PART OF WHY I WROTE 699 00:35:17,406 --> 00:35:20,743 THE BOOK, I HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EVENING SLEEPING IN 700 00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:24,580 THE SAME ROOM AS ALL THE WOMEN WHO WERE THE WIVES TO HAVE THE 701 00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:27,375 VARIOUS TALIBAN FIGHTERS ALSO AND THE CHILDREN, AND IT'S 702 00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:29,710 MOMENTS LIKE THAT WHEN YOU REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE 703 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:33,172 AND THEY'RE BORN INTO THESE SOCIETIES AND THEY DON'T HAVE A 704 00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:37,510 LOT OF CHOICE OR AGENCY IN THAT AND THEY'RE JUST LIVING THEIR 705 00:35:37,593 --> 00:35:41,013 LIVES AND DOING THEIR BEST, AND THEY TREED US WITH GREAT RESPECT 706 00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:44,225 AND GREAT AFFECTION, AND IT WAS A REALLY BEAUTIFUL MOMENT TO BE 707 00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:48,354 ABLE TO SHARE WITH THEM, WHEN WE HAVE SO LITTLE IN COMMON, NO 708 00:35:48,437 --> 00:35:50,606 LANGUAGE IS SHARED, VERY DIFFERENT VALUES, UNDERSTANDINGS 709 00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:52,233 OF THE WORLD, AND I THINK THAT'S IMPORTANT. 710 00:35:52,316 --> 00:35:56,404 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT 711 00:35:56,487 --> 00:35:58,364 BACK WITH MORE CLARISSA WARD. 712 00:35:58,447 --> 00:36:00,783 ♪♪♪ ♪ 713 00:36:08,666 --> 00:36:18,217 ♪♪♪ # 714 00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:29,937 >> WHO KNOWS, I MAY EVEN DECIDE TO BEAT THEM FOR A THIRD TIME. 715 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:31,230 OKAY? 716 00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:32,899 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> HERE'S YOUR PROBLEM, YOUR 717 00:36:32,982 --> 00:36:34,483 COUNTRY'S GOT A TRUMP. 718 00:36:34,567 --> 00:36:39,655 I CAN SPRAY HIM DOWN BUT HE'LL JUST KEEP COMING BACK. 719 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:43,743 I RECOMMEND GETTING STIMULUS CHECKS OUT THE DOOR, GIVE PEOPLE 720 00:36:43,826 --> 00:36:45,286 A GLIMMER OF MOBILITY. 721 00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:48,122 BUT TILL THEN, BUG SPRAY. 722 00:36:48,205 --> 00:36:51,375 DON, JR. SAID HE WOULD GIVE ME 20 BUCKS A SLURP. 723 00:37:01,385 --> 00:37:07,516 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WE'RE BACK 724 00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:16,150 WITH CNN'S CHIEF INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENT AND AUTHOR OF "ON 725 00:37:16,233 --> 00:37:20,488 ALL FRONTS," CLARISSA WARD. 726 00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:25,952 THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION LAUNCHED ATTACKS LAST WEEK 727 00:37:26,035 --> 00:37:28,704 AGAINST IRANIAN-BACKED MILITIAS IN SYRIA. 728 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:32,083 YOU KNOW SYRIA WELL. 729 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:34,919 IRAN SAID THEY'RE NOT COMING TO THE NEGOTIATION TABLE ON THE 730 00:37:35,002 --> 00:37:41,384 NUCLEAR ARMS TREATY. 731 00:37:41,467 --> 00:37:46,180 >> TRYING TO PUT HUMPTY DUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN ON THE NUCLEAR 732 00:37:46,263 --> 00:37:48,307 ARMS DEAL WITH IRAN WILL BE DIFFICULT. 733 00:37:48,391 --> 00:37:50,393 I SPENT TIME IN IRAN. 734 00:37:50,476 --> 00:37:55,856 THIS IS A COUNTRY THAT'S ECONOMICALLY DEPRESSED AND 735 00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:56,524 DEEPLY IMBITTERED. 736 00:37:56,607 --> 00:38:00,820 THERE'S NO TRUST FOR THE U.S. 737 00:38:00,903 --> 00:38:03,197 THERE HAD BEEN A DEAL BEFORE, THE U.S. DROPPED IT. 738 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,575 HOW DO YOU PERSUADE PEOPLE TO ENTER INTO THAT TRUST AGAIN. 739 00:38:06,659 --> 00:38:10,037 SIMULTANEOUSLY, IF YOU'RE THE BIKES, HOW DO YOU SEND A STRONG 740 00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:14,208 MESSAGE TO IRAN THAT THE SHENANIGANS IN THE REGION WITH 741 00:38:14,291 --> 00:38:16,002 MILITIAS TARGETING U.S. 742 00:38:16,085 --> 00:38:19,547 INSTALLATIONS IN IRAQ, KILLING PEOPLE WORKING WITH THE U.S., 743 00:38:19,630 --> 00:38:23,926 THAT THAT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED BUT, AT THE SAME TIME, EXTEND 744 00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:27,555 YOUR HAND TO SAY WE WANT VERY MUCH TO TRY TO MAKE THIS DEAL 745 00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:31,267 WORK AGAIN, HOW CAN WE GET YOU TO TRUST US AGAIN? 746 00:38:31,350 --> 00:38:35,396 SO WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE COMPLEXITY OF THE OPPOSING AND 747 00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:41,068 DUELING NARRATIVES AND IDEOLOGIES AND MOTIVATIONS, YOU 748 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,404 REALIZE BOTH SIDES HAVE THEIR WORK CUT OUT FOR THEM IN TERMS 749 00:38:43,487 --> 00:38:46,824 OF TRYING TO PUT THIS THING BACK TOGETHER, AND THE ONLY THING I 750 00:38:46,907 --> 00:38:50,077 CAN SAY FROM THE SYRIAN PERSPECTIVE IS I JUST REALLY 751 00:38:50,161 --> 00:38:53,414 HOPE THAT THE PLIGHT TO HAVE THE SYRIAN PEOPLE -- THE PLIGHT OF 752 00:38:53,497 --> 00:38:56,876 THE SYRIAN PEOPLE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN. 753 00:38:56,959 --> 00:39:01,255 WHILE IT'S NOT CENTER STAGE, IT'S VERY MUCH PART OF THE 754 00:39:01,338 --> 00:39:03,591 BACKDROP OF EVERYTHING THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO RE-CREATE THE 755 00:39:03,674 --> 00:39:05,259 IRAN DEAL. 756 00:39:05,342 --> 00:39:07,553 I JUST HOPE AFTER HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DEAD AND TEN YEARS 757 00:39:07,636 --> 00:39:13,768 OF BRUTAL CIVIL WAR AND AMERICA NOT PLAYING A SUPER PRODUCTIVE 758 00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:16,937 ROLE, THAT PERHAPS WE CAN TRY, ALSO, TO DO SOMETHING TO 759 00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,398 MITIGATE THE SUFFERING OF THE SYRIAN PEOPLE. 760 00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:22,401 >> Stephen: WELL, CLARISSA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING 761 00:39:22,485 --> 00:39:24,320 HERE. 762 00:39:24,403 --> 00:39:25,946 HER BOOK, "ON ALL FRONTS," IS AVAILABLE NOW. 763 00:39:26,030 --> 00:39:27,615 CLARISSA WARD, EVERYBODY. 764 00:39:27,698 --> 00:39:31,952 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 765 00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:34,121 ♪♪♪ 766 00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:38,626 >> Stephen: WELL THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. 767 00:39:38,709 --> 00:39:40,461 PLEASE TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE NEIL 768 00:39:40,544 --> 00:39:44,131 DEGRASSE TYSON PLUS A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE BY 769 00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:47,343 OUR OWN GOLDEN GLOBE WINNER, JON BATISTE. 770 00:39:47,426 --> 00:39:48,803 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 771 00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:51,806 GOOD NIGHT. 772 00:39:51,889 --> 00:39:53,349 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: WE'LL TALK ABOUT 773 00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:54,850 IT IN THE INTERVIEW. 774 00:39:54,934 --> 00:39:55,768 THAT'S A PRE-THANKS. 775 00:39:55,851 --> 00:39:59,146 THAT'S A PRE-THANKS FOR THAT MOVIE. 776 00:39:59,230 --> 00:39:59,563 ALL RIGHT. 777 00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:01,357 >> THANK YOU. 778 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:02,149 CONSIDER ME DISARMED. 779 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,068 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IT WORKED! 780 00:40:04,151 --> 00:40:05,194 WHAT DID I SAY? 781 00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:08,656 I SAID ACTORS ARE SUCKERS. 782 00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:15,663 ( LAUGHTER ) ♪♪♪ 783 00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:16,747 Captioning sponsored by CBS Captioned by 784 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:19,792 Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org