>> A LOT OF US HAS BEEN AMAZED BY THE FIRST PICTURES AND IMAGES
COMING BACK FROM NASA'S PERSEVERANCE ROVER.
AND NOW THE ROVER IS BEAMING BACK SOUNDS FROM MARS.
BUT I WANT YOU TO BE CAREFUL.
SOMEONE SENT A FAKE TWEET ABOUT THE MISSION.
SO WE WANT YOU TO BE AWARE.
CHECK THIS OUT.
THIS 26-SECOND VIDEO SHOWING A HUGE SWEEPING VISTA OF THE
MARTIAN SURFACE DID NOT COME FROM PERSEVERANCE, OKAY.
NASA SAYS THAT'S NOT REAL.
BUT STILL, TWITTER USERS HAVE VIEWED IT AT LEAST THREE MILLION
TIMES.
SO IF YOU'VE SEEN IT, NOW YOU KNOW IT'S FAKE.
HERE IS THE REAL RECORDING PERSEVERANCE CAPTURED ON MARS.
♪ ♪ ♪ NOT AS DRAMATIC, BUT STILL COOL.
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES
ARSENIO HALL AND MUSICAL GUEST CELESTE█ç
WITH A SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY TIM WEDOS.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE oN TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
I'M VERY EXCITED.
ARSENIO HALL.
EXACTLY.
I WOULD HAVE BUT I HAD THE COFFEE IN MY HAND.
I DIDN'T WANT TO SPILL ANYTHING.
AND OUR DEAR FRIEND TIM MEADOWS, TOO.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
WELL, FOLKS, IF YOU CHECK THE PAPER, YOU KNOW PEOPLE DON'T
READ PAPERS ANYMORE.
IT'S MOSTLY THE WEB, BUT IF YOU LOOK AT THE WEB, YOU'LL SEE THE
PANDEMIC CONTINUES TO RAGE ON.
WE'VE NOW BEEN IN LOCKDOWN FOR OVER 11 MONTHS, AND IF YOU'RE
BEGINNING TO GET THE CRAZY FEELING THAT ISOLATION HAS
STARTED TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY.
YOU ARE CRAZY.
BECAUSE ACCORDING TO CNN, PANDEMIC PARANOIA IS A REAL
THING.
OR IS IT?
WHO PAID YOU TO SAY THAT, CNN?
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW I'M PARANOID?
ARE YOU WATCHING ME?
THERE'S A CAMERA RIGHT THERE!
AND THERE!
WHO PUT THIS MIC ON ME?
ME?
I MUST BE IN ON IT!
SCENE.
( LAUGHTER ) EVIDENTLY, THE PARANOIA IS BEING
BROUGHT ON BY THE PANDEMIC, REQUIRED SOCIAL ISOLATION, AND
AN UNCERTAIN ECONOMIC ENVIRONMENT, WHERE PEOPLE WORRY
ABOUT WHETHER THEY MIGHT BE ON THE VERGE OF LOSING THEIR
LIVELIHOOD.
THAT'S NOT PARANOIA.
THAT'S JUST NORMAL HUMAN FEAR.
IF YOU CRY AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY WHEN THE CLOWN COMES OUT, THAT'S
A PHOBIA.
IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE KIDS IN "IT," IT'S REASONABLE TO
AVOID THE SEWER.
OF COURSE, DISINFORMATION FEEDS INTO PARANOIA, AND THAT'S WHAT
LED THE CAPITOL INSURRECTION.
YESTERDAY, THE SENATE HELD HEARINGS INTO WHAT CAUSED IT,
BUT HERE'S THE THING: TWO OF THE QUESTIONERS UP ON THE DAIS
THERE, WERE SENATORS WHO SUPPORTED CHALLENGING THE
CERTIFICATION OF ELECTORAL VOTES ON JANUARY 6 THAT LED TO THE
RIOT: JOSH HAWLEY AND TED CRUZ.
THAT'S LIKE HAVING A CANNIBALISM TRIAL PRESIDED OVER BY JUDGE
HANNIBAL LECTER: "WOULD THE PROSECUTION PLEASE
SLATHER THEMSELVES IN HONEY MUSTARD AND APPROACH THE BENCH."
THE SESSION WAS MOSTLY ASS-COVERING, BUT WE DID LEARN
ONE INTERESTING FACT: AN F.B.I.
ALERT ABOUT A POSSIBLE "WAR" AGAINST CONGRESS REACHED THE
D.C. AND CAPITOL POLICE THE NIGHT BEFORE THE ATTACK.
SO IT LOOKS PRETTY DAMNING THAT THE POLICE WERE WARNED AND DID
NOTHING.
BUT NOT THAT SIMPLE, ACCORDING TO ACTING D.C. POLICE CHIEF AND
COP WHO DOESN'T REALIZE HIS█ç PARTNER WALKED AWAY 10 MINUTES
AGO, ROBERT CONTEE.
CHIEF CONTEE TOLD CONGRESS THAT THERE WAS A PERFECTLY GOOD
REASON HIS DEPARTMENT IGNORED THE F.B.I.'S WARNING:
>> WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A REPORT THAT CAME FROM THE OFFICE ON THE
DAY BEFORE, THAT NIGHT, AFTER 7:00 P.M. THAT WAS SENT TO EMAIL
BOXES.
I WOULD CERTAINLY THINK SOMETHING AS VIOLENT AS AN
INSURRECTION AT THE CAPITOL WOULD WARRANT, YOU KNOW, A PHONE
CALL, OR SOMETHING, >> Stephen: HE'S GOT A POINT.
THERE'S A REASON WHY NO ONE SAYS, "I THINK I'M HAVING A
HEART ATTACK!
QUICK, EMAIL AN AMBULANCE!" NOW, ONE GUY WHO ACTUALLY HAS A
REALLY GOOD REASON TO BE PARANOID IS THE FORMER
PRESIDENT'S PERSONAL ATTORNEY RUDY GIULIANI, SEEN HERE
SUDDENLY REALIZING HE GAVE THE PROSTITUTE HIS REAL NAME.
RUDY IS FACING A $1.3 BILLION LAWSUIT FROM DOMINION VOTING
SYSTEMS FOR SPREADING THE LIE THAT THEY STOLE THE 2020
ELECTION.
AND WHILE PUBLICLY HE'S BEEN TALKING TOUGH, PRIVATELY, HE'S
RUNNING LIKE A FRIGHTENED TODDLER, BECAUSE PART OF A CIVIL
LAWSUIT IS BEING GIVEN A SUBPOENA BY A PROCESS SERVER,
AND TURNS OUT, GIULIANI SPENT A WEEK DOING EVERYTHING HE COULD
TO AVOID BEING SERVED THE LAWSUIT.
LOOK, I GET IT.
IF A GUY WALKED UP TO ME AND SAID "ARE YOU RUDY GIULIANI?" I
WOULDN'T WANT TO ADMIT IT, EITHER.
RUDY'S SERVICE-DODGING TACTICS WERE PRETTY CREATIVE.
HE REPORTEDLY IGNORED REQUESTS TO SIMPLY ACCEPT IT VIA EMAIL,
AND HAD HIS DOORMAN LOCK THE DOOR TO THE BUILDING WHENEVER
THE FORMER MAYOR ENTERED THE LOBBY-- WHICH IS THE FIRST TIME
ANYONE HAS LOCKED A DOOR TO KEEP RUDY IN.
ALTHOUGH, MAYBE NOT THE LAST?
BUT THINGS REALLY CAME TO A HEAD ON FEBRUARY 7, WHEN A PAIR OF
PROCESS SERVERS AND GIULIANI GOT INTO AN AWKWARD STANDOFF DURING
A NASTY WINTER STORM.
HOW NASTY WAS THIS STANDOFF?
WELL, THE DETAILS ARE...
GIULIANI LEFT HIS BUILDING AND GOT IN A FORD EXPLORER S.U.V.
AND CLOSED THE S.U.V. DOOR AS A PROCESS SERVER LUNGED FORWARD
WITH A BAG FULL OF DOCUMENTS, WHICH MEANT THE LAWSUIT WAS
LODGED BETWEEN THE S.U.V.
DOOR, AT WHICH POINT, THE DOORMAN GOT INVOLVED, JABBING
HIS UMBRELLA INTO THE S.U.V.
DOOR, AND THE DRIVER AND DOORMAN THEN PULLED THE BAG OF LEGAL
DOCUMENTS OUT, ALLOWING GIULIANI TO CLOSE THE S.U.V. DOOR AND
DRIVE AWAY.
WHAT A DRAMATIC ESCAPE!
YOU CAN WATCH IT ALL PLAY OUT IN DICK WOLF'S NEW SHOW,
"LAW & ORDER: S.U.V."
DUM-DUM!
LAUGH I HAD NOT HEARD THAT BEFORE.
THAT CERTAINLY SOUNDS STUPID.
BRAVO.
WHEN IT COMES TO REDUCING THE COUNTRY'S PARANOIA, YOU KNOW
WHO'S NOT HELPING?
NASA.
BECAUSE WE JUST FOUND OUT THAT THEIR MARS ROVER'S GIANT
PARACHUTE CARRIED A SECRET MESSAGE.
NO SURPRISE-- AMERICAN SPACE EXPLORERS LOVES HIDDEN MESSAGES.
WE ALL REMEMBER NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMOUS FIRST WORDS ON THE MOON:
>> THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN.
I AM THE EGG MAN.
I AM THE WALRUS.
KOO KOO KA-JOOB.
PAUL IS DEAD.
>> Stephen: SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE ACTUAL SECRET MESSAGE
INSIDE THE ROVER'S PARACHUTE.
AH, YES, A CODE...
THAT I TOTALLY GET.
SURE.
BUT JUST IN CASE ANY DUMMIES AT HOME DIDN'T GET THAT AS QUICKLY
AS I DEFINITELY DID, THEY ALSO PROVIDED THIS KEY THAT REVEALS
THE PHRASE "DARE MIGHTY THINGS."
LOOK, NASA, CONGRATS ON THE LANDING.
WE'RE ALL REALLY IMPRESSED.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
AND THE PARACHUTE, KIND OF A COOL GAME BUT YOU'RE NOT
HELPING.
WE'RE ALREADY CHOCK-FULL OF GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY THEORISTS
DOWN HERE ON EARTH.
MIGHT AS WELL JUST MAKE IT SAY, "THIS IS WHERE WE HID THE
VOTES!" AND THEY'RE NOT DONE!
NASA OFFICIALS SAY WE CAN EXPECT TO SEE MORE HIDDEN MESSAGES.
WOW-- WOW-- WOW!
THAT SEEMS PRETTY SUSPICIOUS.
QANON FOLKS ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO WANT TO INVESTIGATE, SO WE
SHOULD PROBABLY HELP LOAD THEM ONTO ROCKETS AND SHOOT THEM
INTO SPACE.
WHERE THEY GO ONE, THEY GO ALL.
NOW, THE PANDEMIC MAY BE ENDING SOONER THAN WE FEARED, BECAUSE
WE GOT ANOTHER INJECTION OF POSITIVE VACCINE NEWS TODAY:
THE F.D.A. CONFIRMED THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON VACCINE
PREVENTED ALL DEATHS AND HOSPITALIZATIONS IN TRIALS.
THAT'S AMAZING!
SOON WE'LL HAVE AS MUCH CHOICE IN VACCINE BRANDS AS WE DO
FLAVORS OF MOUNTAIN DEW.
"YOU GOT THE PFIZER?
I GOT THE MALIBU HONEY MELLON BAJA BOOSTER."
( LAUGHTER ) THE F.D.A. COULD APPROVE THE NEW
VACCINE AS SOON AS SATURDAY.
AND UNLIKE THE ONES CURRENTLY OUT THERE, JOHNSON & JOHNSON'S
IS SINGLE SHOT.
ALTHOUGH, THE COMPANY ITSELF STILL REQUIRES A DOUBLE JOHNSON.
DO NOT GOOGLE THE PHRASE "DOUBLE JOHNSON."
THE J&J SHOT IS A BIT LESS EFFECTIVE THAN PFIZER AND
MODERNA, BUT IT COULD MAKE THE PATH TO HERD IMMUNITY MUCH
SIMPLER BECAUSE, UNLIKE THE VACCINES THAT HAVE TO BE STORED
AT AROUND NEGATIVE-80 DEGREES, THE NEW ONE CAN BE STORED AT
NORMAL REFRIGERATION TEMPERATURES FOR AT LEAST THREE
MONTHS.
THAT'S SHELF LIFE!
IT'S THE PICKLES OF THE VACCINE WORLD.
PLUS, A LITTLE OF VACCINE ON YOUR TUNA SALAD?
TWO CHEF KISSES IN ONE MONOLOGUE!
THERE'S EXCITING NEWS IN THE WORLD OF MAIL DELIVERY.
YEAH, BRACE YOURSELF!
THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE JUST UNVEILED THEIR NEW FLEET OF
DELIVERY TRUCKS, AND THE FUTURE IS ADORABLE!
THAT THING IS JUST A COUPLE EYEBALLS AWAY FROM A PIXAR
MOVIE.
YOU REALLY GET THE FEELING THAT ENGINE IS GOING TO BE GOING
"PUCKET-A, PUCKET-A, PUCKET-A."
BUT THIS TRUCK ISN'T ALL LOOKS.
THIS BABY COMES WITH A TON OF COOL FEATURES. LIKE AUTOMATIC
FRONT AND REAR BRAKING, TELEMATICS COMPATIBILITY, AND
EVEN A 360-DEGREE CAMERA.
THAT WAY, OWNERS OF THE OCULUS V.R. HEADSET CAN JACK IN AND
FULLY IMMERSE THEMSELVES IN THE ADRENALINE-PUMPING RUSH OF
DELIVERING A VALPAK.
BUT OF COURSE THERE'S A CONTROVERSY.
MANY OF THE NEW TRUCKS WILL BE ELECTRIC, BUT NOT ALL OF THEM.
AND "THE PRECISE MIX HAS ALREADY ELICITED CRITICISM FROM
ENVIRONMENTALISTS."
I UNDERSTAND THEIR CONCERN.
YOU WANT THE GREENEST VEHICLE POSSIBLE WHEN YOU'RE DELIVERING
THOUSANDS OF POUNDS OF AMAZON RAIN FOREST THAT ARE NOW AMAZON
BOXES.
NOW, IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR MORE REASONS TO FEEL PARANOID,
REMEMBER, SOMEONE MIGHT BE TRYING TO KIDNAP YOU.
AND IT'S YOU.
BECAUSE A MAN IN ARIZONA JUST FAKED HIS OWN KIDNAPPING TO GET
OUT OF WORK.
DID IT WORK?
WE'RE STILL ON THE AIR.
SORRY.
HERE'S THE SELF-HOSTAGE-TAKER: BRANDON SOULES, IN HIS
COMBINATION MUGSHOT/MISSING PERSON PHOTO.
BRANDON, I SALUTE YOU, SIR.
SURE, YOU COULD HAVE JUST CALLED IN SICK, BUT YOU FAKED YOUR OWN
ABDUCTION.
THAT'S A LEVEL OF INGENUITY AND RESOURCEFULNESS THAT I'M
GUESSING YOU DON'T PUT IN AT WORK.
AND THIS WAS NO SIMPLE RUSE.
POLICE FOUND SOULES ABOUT 55 MILES OUTSIDE OF PHOENIX, WITH
HIS HANDS TIED BEHIND HIS BACK BY A BELT, A PURPLE BANDANNA
STUFFED IN HIS MOUTH, AND HE WAS GOING IN AND OUT OF
CONSCIOUSNESS.
AGAIN, YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD YOUR BOSS YOU HAD A FEVER.
HOW DOES THIS GUY GET OFF THE PHONE WITH TELEMARKETERS?
"WELL, I'D LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT REFINANCING, BUT--
OH, MY GOD!
THE SCORPIONS!
THEY'RE DRAGGING AWAY MY DOG!
TAKE ME INSTEAD!
TAKE ME TO YOUR QUEEEEEN!" CAN WE-- DO WE HAVE A MINUTE?
CAN WE PUT THAT PHOTO BACK UP, JIMMY?
CAN WE PUT THAT PHOTO BACK UP.
I WANT TO POINT OUT THE POLICE TOOK THIS PHOTO BEFORE THEY
HELPED HIM.
THE POLICE WENT, "HOLD ON.
GET MY CAMERA PHONE.
I'M GOING TO WANT TO REMEMBER THIS."
( LAUGHTER ) HOW DO YOU TIE YOUR OWN HANDS
BEHIND YOUR BACK WITH A BELT?
THAT'S-- THE GUY SHOULD BE IN VEGAS!
SOULES'S CLEVER RUSE STARTED TO COME UNDONE WHEN HE TOLD THE
POLICE THAT HE HAD BEEN KIDNAPPED BECAUSE HIS FATHER
HAD A LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY HIDDEN THROUGHOUT THE DESERT.
JUST A SLIGHT EXAGGERATION.
HIS FATHER DIDN'T HAVE A LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY HIDDEN IN THE
DESERT, BUT HE DID HAVE AN EXCEPTIONAL AMOUNT OF
KNUCKLEHEAD SON.
AFTER THE POLICE INVESTIGATED, THEY ARRESTED HIM ON A CHARGE OF
FALSE REPORTING TO LAW ENFORCEMENT.
AUTHORITIES WERE SUSPICIOUS WHEN THEY RECEIVED THE RANSOM NOTE:
"I HAVE ME, AND IF YOU WANT ME, PAY ME.
MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO ME.
TO PROVE I MEAN BUSINESS, I'VE ENCLOSED MY BABY TOE.
P.S.: OUCH."
SO WHAT IS THIS HELLISH JOB THAT BRANDON WENT TO SUCH EXTREME
MEASURES TO AVOID?
WELL, APPARENTLY, HE WORKS AT A TIRE STORE-- WHICH EXPLAINS HIS
DESCRIPTION OF HIS KIDNAPPERS TO THE POLICE SKETCH ARTIST.
I JUST HAVE TO WONDER, HOW BAD IS IT AT THAT TIRE SHOP?
"SURE, I COULD GET A PRICE ON ALL-SEASON RADIALS, BUT TO BE
HONEST, I'D RATHER DRIVE OUT TO THE DESERT, STUFF A GAG IN MY
MOUTH, BASH MY HEAD ON A ROCK AND WAIT FOR THE COYOTES TO
CLOSE IN."
CAN YOU USE THAT BELT?
BUT NOW THAT WE KNOW IT WAS ALL AN ELABORATE RUSE, IT COULD BE
THE PLOT OF THE NEXT "TAKEN" MOVIE:
>> I WILL LOOK FOR YOU.
I WILL FIND YOU, AND I WILL KILL YOU.
>> DAD, IT'S ME!
I JUST WANTED A DAY OFF.
SORRRRYYYY, K?
THANKS, BYE.
THANK YOU, LIAM NEESON.
NICE GUY TO DO THAT BIT FOR US.
AMAZING GUY.
GO SEE "THE MARKSMAN" IN THEATERS NOW.
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT,
ARSENIO HALL IS HERE.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I CELEBRATE BLACK HISTORY MONTH
WITH OUR OLD FRIEND TIM MEADOWS.
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.
JON, I'M DIGGING THAT SUIT HARD.
WHAT IS THAT PATTERN?
>> Jon: THIS IS A DESIGN BY MY FRIEND KIRBY.
HE MADE AND AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT THE INSPIRATION IS,
BUT I'M DIGGING IT, TOO.
AMAZING.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT A REPRESENTATIONAL PATTERN.
THAT'S AN ABSTRACT?
>> Jon: YES, YOU SEE...
GOT A NICE LITTLE-- THAT HAS A COLOR PALETTE TO IT, TOO.
GOT A NICE FEEL.
>> Stephen: I THINK IT LOOKS BETTER ON YOU THAN IT WOULD ON
ME.
I DON'T THINK I HAVE THE STYLE TO SUSTAIN IT.
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WHAT MIGHT LOOK GOOD ON, ARSENIO
HALL?
YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER HIS SHOW.
YOU WERE NOT ALIVE WHEN HIS SHOW CAME ON, RIGHT?
>> Jon: I REMEMBER HIS SHOW.
I REMEMBER SEEING IT-- I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS RERUNS OR NOT,
BUT I REMEMBER HIS SHOW IN MY HOUSEHOLD.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW THIS, YOU KNOW THIS, THIS IS AN AMERICAN
STANDARD.
>> Jon: YES, YES,.
THERE WERE A LOT OF GREAT MOMENTS ON THAT SHOW.
THE MOMENT MIKE TYSON AND MOHAMMED ALI WERE ON THERE
TOGETHER.
I REMEMBER SEEING THAT, AND THERE WERE SOME OTHER MOMENTS
WHERE THERE WOULD BE SO MANY TITANS TO SHOW UP TO GREET
ANOTHER TITANS AND WOULD BE SURPRISED.
HE WOULD ALWAYS HAVE SOMEBODY COMING OUT THE BACK.
I REMEMBER THAT.
I LOVED THAT.
>> Stephen: JON, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO PLAY FOR US
TONIGHT?
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS, LET'S GET A VIBE OF...
♪ ♪ >> Stephen: THAT'S QUITE
SOOTHING.
THANK YOU, JON.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
AS I HOPE YOU KNOW, FEBRUARY IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH. AND EVEN
THOUGH IT ONLY LASTS 28 DAYS, IT'S AN IMPORTANT TIME TO
REFLECT ON AND CELEBRATE BLACK CONTRIBUTIONS TO AMERICAN
HISTORY.
FOR INSTANCE, DID YOU KNOW THAT BLACK PEOPLE GAVE US BLACK
HISTORY MONTH?
IT'S TRUE.
AND HERE WITH HIS THOUGHTS ON THAT MONTH, PLEASE WELCOME MY
FRIEND, MR. TIM MEADOWS.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU, TIM.
SO, FEBRUARY IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH AND--
>> NOPE, NO.
WE'RE NOT DOING THAT ANYMORE.
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY.
WE'RE NOT DOING WHAT?
>> BLACK PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS: FEBRUARY IS NOT
A FULL MONTH.
IT'S 28 DAYS.
IS 11 INCHES A FOOT?
ARE KEVIN AND NICK ALL OF THE JONAS BROTHERS?
>> Stephen: NO, THERE'S JOE.
>> EXACTLY!
AND BLACK HISTORY HAS GOTTEN THE SHORT END OF THE CALENDAR FOR
TOO LONG.
SO I, TIM MEADOWS, AM CALLING FOR THE EXPANSION OF BLACK
HISTORY MONTH TO GIVE IT THE TIME THAT IT DESERVES.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
HOW WOULD THAT WORK?
>> WE STILL GET FEBRUARY, THE "RUNT" MONTH.
BUT I AM DECLARING THAT THIS YEAR, BLACK HISTORY MONTH
OFFICIALLY BEGAN ON JANUARY 20, WHEN KAMALA HARRIS BECAME THE
HISTORIC FIRST-- SECOND BLACK PERSON IN THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
SO BACK-DATING IT TO MAKE IT TO MAKE A FULL MONTH.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
WRONG,█ WRONG.
WE'RE ALSO TAKING MARCH AND APRIL.
>> Stephen: UMMMM?
>> YOU LIKE APRIL FOOL'S DAY, DON'T YOU, STEPHEN?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I SEE!
IS THIS A JOKE?
>> DO I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING?
APRIL FOOLS IS CANCELLED.
AMERICAN HISTORY HAS BEEN A SERIES OF PRANKS ON BLACK
PEOPLE.
SLAVERY?
JIM CROW?
RED-LINING?
HILARIOUS!
YOU GOT US!
IS ASHTON KUTCHER GOING TO JUMP OUT FROM A BUSH, OR SOMETHING?
>> Stephen: I DON'T THINK ASHTON IS INVOLVED IN ANY OF THAT.
>> YEAH, YOU BETTER NOT BE, ASHTON!
ANYWAY, AFTER APRIL, WE WILL ALSO BE TAKING MAY, AS WELL AS
THE WHOLE SUMMER, WHICH WE'RE COMBINING INTO A GIANT 93-DAY
MONTH CALLED "WAKANDATOBER.
>> Stephen: OH, ALL RIGHT, SURE.
>> DON'T, DON'T, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: SO, IS THERE STILL GOING TO BE A FOURTH OF JULY?
>> YOU MEAN THE 34th OF WAKANDATOBER?
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
SO BLACK HISTORY MONTH ENDS ON LABOR DAY?
>> NO!
AND THIS IS GOING TO BE A TOUGH ONE FOR YOU AND YOUR BUDDIES,
BUT WE'RE ALSO TAKING AUTUMN.
>> Stephen: WELL, I THOUGHT WE WERE BUDDIES.
BUT, OKAY, YOU GET THE FALL.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, WE GET ALL YOUR PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES.
>> Stephen: I DON'T REALLY THINK PUMPKIN SPICE IS A STRICTLY
WHITE THING?
>> YEAH, WELL, NOT ANYMORE!
AND LET'S TALK THANKSGIVING.
YOU KNOW THAT PART WHERE EVERYONE GOES AROUND THE DINNER
TABLE AND THEY ALL SAY WHAT THEY'RE THANKFUL FOR?
WELL, THIS YEAR, IT BETTER BE A BLACK PERSON.
AND NO REPEATS.
YOU DON'T GET IT SEE THREE OBAMAS OR FIVE BEYONCES.
SOMEBODY BETTER LEARN WHO FREDERICK DOUGLASS WAS, OR
NOBODY GETS TURKEY.
>> Stephen: WELL, I'M THANKFUL FOR YOU, TIM.
>> SAVE IT FOR NOVEMBER, STEPHEN!
AND SINCE WE'RE ALMOST THERE, BLACK HISTORY MONTH IS
ALSO TAKING DECEMBER.
>> Stephen: SO... THE WHOLE HOLIDAY SEASON?
>> YES, SIR, YOU BET.
AND NO "HAPPY HOLIDAYS."
THAT'S A WAR ON BLACK CHRISTMAS!
OKAY, WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE TRADITIONAL GREETING: "MERRY
BLACK CHRISTMAS, MY BROTHER."
>> Stephen: WELL, I LOOK FOWARD TO WISHING YOU A MERRY
BLACK CHRISTMAS, MY BROTHER.
JIERNGHTS WHOA, WHOA.
WE GET TO SAY IT, STEPHEN.
NOT YOU.
WE, US.
YOU CAN SAY, "GOSH, I LOVE YOUR KHAKIS" OR, "HAVE YOU SEEN
'THE CROWN'?" OR WHATEVER YOU GUYS USUALLY
SAY.
>> Stephen: WELL, I USUALLY SAY, "MERRY CHRISTMAS."
>> YOU MEAN BLACK CHRISTMAS?
>> Stephen: YES, I DO.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: AND HOW DOES ONE EXACTLY CELEBRATE BLACK
CHRISTMAS?
>> WELL, IT'S EXACTLY LIKE REGULAR CHRISTMAS, STEPHEN,
EXCEPT IT WILL BE LEGAL FOR BLACK PEOPLE TO CLIMB DOWN ANY
CHIMNEY THEY WANT TO.
AND WHEN WE GET IN YOUR LIVING ROOM, YOU HAVE TO GIVE US
COOKIES AND MILK.
>> Stephen: SO WHEN ARE YOU PROPOSING BLACK HISTORY MONTH
ENDS?
>> THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.
IT ENDS WHENEVER YOU THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH TO HONOR THE
CONTRIBUTIONS OF BLACK AMERICANS.
>> Stephen: WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, TIM, I DON'T THINK
WE CAN EVER DO ENOUGH.
>> WOW, I WAS GOING TO SAY NEW YEAR'S EVE, BUT IF YOU INSIST,
WE'LL JUST TAKE THE WHOLE YEAR.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
SO IT NEVER ENDS?
>> NO, NO, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE IT NEVER ENDS.
PROGRESS TAKES TIME, STEPHEN.
WHITE PEOPLE JUST NEED TO BE PATIENT.
JUST GO SLOW, AND WAIT FOR YOUR PIECE OF THE PIE.
BUT IT WON'T BE PUMPKIN!
THOSE SPICES ARE OURS!
>> Stephen: TIM MEADOWS, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, TIM HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH-- I MEAN YEAR.
YOU KNOW I MEANT YEAR.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ARCENOHALL.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
MY GUEST TONIGHT CHANGED LATE-NIGHT COMEDY AS THE HOST OF
"THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW."
HE NOW STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "COMING 2 AMERICA," A SEQUEL TO
THE ORIGINAL.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," ARSENIO HALL!
ARSENIO, THANKS FOR BEING HERE, MAN.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME, SIR.
I GUESS I PLANNED ON MEETING YOU ONE DAY, BUT NOT THIS WAY.
YOU IN NEW YORK, WHEREVER YOU ARE, ON ZOOM, AND ME SITTING IN
FRONT OF RICK ROSS' HOUSE LAUGH.
>> Stephen: I FEEL A STRONG URGE, AS SOMEBODY WHO WATCHED
LATE-NIGHT TV A LOT, I HAVE A STRONG URGE TO GO OOOOH!
WHEN I SEE YOU.
DO PEOPLE STILL DO THAT TO YOU EVERYWHERE YOU GO?
>> YES, I WILL FOREVER BE THAT GUY FROM CLEVELAND WHO BROUGHT
THE BARK TO LATE NIGHT.
I TALK DOG TO BARKS.
WHEN MY SOFNS LITTLE, IT WAS CRAZY, BECAUSE WE WOULD WALK
THROUGH MALLS, AND WHEN YOU ARE TWO NOBODY PREPARED YOU IN
HEAVEN FOR THE FACT THAT PEOPLE BARKED AT YOUR FATHER.
ONE DAY HE DID ASK, "WHY DO THEY BARK?"
I HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO SAY, WOOT!
AND THEY MAKE DIFFERENT NOISES.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE IT'S A DOG, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: THE DOG POUND, HOW COULD THEY NOT KNOW?
>> I SWEAR TO YOU, TWICE A WEEK, SOMEONE SAYS ON TWITTER "WOOT,
WOOT" OR WOOO, WOOO.
THAT'S A JEFFREY OSBORN SONG, THAT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT GUY.
>> Stephen: AT LEAST THEY'RE BARKING AT THEIR FATHER IN A
FRIENDLY WAY.
IT'S AFFECTIONATE.
>> OH, YES, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THANKFUL FOR THAT.
PEOPLE WHO CONFRONT ME, IT'S ALWAYS POSITIVE.
IT MAY BE ANNOYING BUT NOT MEAN.
I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT REACTION.
OH...
>> Stephen: IT'S NICE.
THAT MUST BE NICE.
I WANT TO-- I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE NEW MOVIE.
I HAVE A LOT-- I'VE GOT A MILLION QUESTIONS FOR YOU.
BUT FIRST I WANT TO KNOW HOW ARE YOU DOING?
HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DURING COVID?
WE CAN SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, BUT HOWS THAT THE
TUNNEL BEEN FOR YOU?
>> WOW, IT'S BEEN INCREDIBLE.
FIRST OF ALL, IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN LAST THROUGH
THIS, YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, BECAUSE A LOT OF
RELATIONSHIPS HAVE FALLEN BY THE WAYSIDE DURING THIS.
IT'S HARD WHEN YOU CAN'T LEAVE AND YOU'RE JUST WITH THE ONE YOU
LOVE.
SO ME AND MY GIRL ARE DOING GREAT.
MY SON, HE TESTS HIMSELF AND COMES TO VISIT DAD SOMETIMES,
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO KILL DAD.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
>> MY MOM, I'M SPENDING A LOT OF MONEY ON YARN AND WEED-- OF
COURSE WE'D FOR ME, AND YARN FOR HER.
I HAD TO FIND HER A HOBBY AND SHE SHE'S MAKING HATS.
>> Stephen: OH, LIKE WHAT KIND OF HATS?
ARE WE TALKING KNIT CAPS AND STUFF LIKE THAT?
>> YEAH, SHE'S MADE, THIS YEAR, 79 HATS.
AND HERE'S HOW CRAZY IT IS: YOU KNOW, I'VE DONE 40 INTERVIEWS
THIS WEEK.
BUT MY MOTHER MADE A HAT FOR YOU.
AND IT'S-- I THINK SHE SAW YOU WITH ANDERSON COOPER, AND
ANYBODY SHE SEES WITH ANDERSON COOPER, SHE LOVES, WHICH I THINK
IS A MISTAKE AS A RULE OF THUMB.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT FOR SOME REASON, SHE'S A
HUGE FAN-- AND I'M GOING TO-- I'M GOING TO MAIL IT TO YOU.
SHE ACTUALLY MADE YOU A HAT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE IT THERE?
CAN YOU SHOW ME?
>> OH, I HAD IT.
WE BOXED IT UP, AND WE'RE GOING TO SEND IT.
APPARENTLY, THERE'S A BOB MACKIE KIOSK AT HER HOUSE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE GOT THIS BOX.
BUT...
IT'S A SPARKLY GLITTER BOX.
AND SHE MADE YOU THIS HAT.
AND SHE PUT HER NAME ON IT!
>> Stephen: I'M HONORED.
PLEASE TELL YOUR MOTHER, I'M HONORED.
>> SHE-- HER NAME IS ANNIE HALL.
BUT SHE PUT ANNIE M. HALL, BECAUSE SHE'S STILL MAD AT WOODY
ALLEN.
SHE THINKS HE OWES HER MONEY OR SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: A LOT-- A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE MAD AT HIM THESE
DAYS.
( LAUGHTER ) OKAY, WELL, LET'S GET TO THE
HEAT OF THE MEAT HERE.
YOU AND I HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON THAT JUST NOT A LOT OF
PEOPLE DO IS THAT HOSTING A NETWORK LATE-NIGHT SHOW, THE
"THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW," THE FIRST TIME IT WAS ON, WHAT WAS
THE RUN?
WAS IT 89 IN '95 OR SOMETHING?
WHAT WAS THE FIRST RUN?
>> YEAH, IT WAS LIKE A SIX-YEAR RUN, AND THEN I STEPPED AWAY AND
HAD A KID AND DID A LOT OF WONDERFUL THINGS-- NOT MUCH
WORK.
AND THE SECOND-- I DID A REBOOT THAT LASTED A YEAR.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO WHAT YOU DO, MAN.
LIKE, YOU DID A JOKE LAST NIGHT, A BUTT DIALING FROM MARS JOKE.
I WAS DYING IN MY HOME.
BUT I WAS LIKE HOW IS HE PACING HIMSELF?
HOW IS HE TIMING HIMSELF?
HE'S THERE WITH LIKE THREE WHITE GUYS.
>> Stephen: TWO, TWO WHITE GUYS, AND THEY'RE ALMOST AS
WHITE AS I AM.
>> TRUST ME, THE BUTT DIALING JOKE WOULD HAVE KILLED AT THE
APOLLO.
>> Stephen: GOOD!
GOOD!
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW THAT SHOW STARTED.
WHERE-- WHERE-- FIRST OF ALL, YOU WERE UP AGAINST-- I KNOW YOU
SAID YOU WEREN'T REALLY IN COMPETITION WITH JOHNNY, BUT
UPPER OPPOSITE JOHNNY, YOU KNOW, THE UNDISPUTED KING OF ALL.
AND WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE TO START THAT SHOW?
I MEAN, WHAT WERE THE-- WHAT WERE THE BUTTERFLIES LIKE?
>> IT WAS-- IT WAS-- IT WAS AMAZING.
BECAUSE INITIALLY, YOU KNOW HOW LATE NIGHT CAN GET.
I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD NO LONGER BE HIS GUY.
I HAD MET HIM.
WE HAD TALKED ABOUT MAGIC, BECAUSE WE BOTH WERE MAGICIAN S.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO SHOW THIS PHOTO OF YOU.
LOOK AT THE LAUGH YOU'RE GETTING OUT OF JOHNNY CARSON.
>> HEY, THAT'S WHAT EVERY COMIC WANTS.
IF YOU CAN MAKE JOHNNY CARSON GO BACK, THAT'S WHAT EVERY COMIC
WANTS.
DURING THE COMMERCIAL-- LIKE I SAID I WAS A MAGICIAN AS A KID
AND WE TALKED ABOUT THAT AND HE DID A COIN TRICK FOR ME.
AND HE DID SOMETHING WE DON'T DO NOW.
HE WAS SMOKING, PUT THE CIGARETTE UNDER THE DESK.
IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE.
AND ED McMAHON WOULD CALL ME SOMETIMES, JOHNNY WOULD TELL ED
TO CALL ME AND GIVE ME NAMES.
>> Stephen: WOW!
WAIT, I STEPPED ON THAT A LITTLE BIT.
JOHNNY WOULD TELL ED TO CALL YOU AND GIVE YOU NAMES FOR GUESTS OR
SOMETHING?
>> LIKE SOMETIMES JOHNNY WOULD COME ACROSS SOMEBODY HE THOUGHT
WAS REALLY GREAT, BUT HE DIDN'T DISCOVER TALENT.
ME BEING THE YOUNG GUY, I WOULD PUT ON A NEW MARIAH CAREY OR
WILL SMITH.
THEY GAVE ME USHER RAYMOND ONCE, BECAUSE I GUESS ED KNEW HIM FROM
"STAR SEARCH."
SO TO KNOW THAT NOT ONLY HE DOESN'T HATE ME, BUT HE TRIES TO
HELP ME BECAUSE THE PATHS WERE SO-- SO DIVIDED, SO DISTINCTLY
DIVIDED.
YOU KNOW, YOU KNEW WHO A JOHNNY GUEST WAS, AND YOU KNEW WHO AN
ARSENIO GUEST WAS.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT JOHNNY CARSON TOLD ED
McMAHON TO TELL ARSENIO HALL TO BOOK USHER?
>> YES, AND I THINK HE SAID, "MAKE SURE HE KNOWS ABOUT
SINBAD."
>> Stephen: I HEARD A STORY-- I HEARD A STORY-- IS IT TRUE YOU
HAD WILL SMITH ON, AND HE GOT PITCHED FOR "THE FRESH PRINCE"
BACKSTAGE?
>> YES, WILL WOULD STOP BY SOMETIMES JUST TO HANG OUT.
MY GREEN ROOM WAS LIKE THIS INCREDIBLE CLUBHOUSE.
I WAS LIKE THE CNN OF HIP HOP.
EVERYBODY WOULD GATHER THERE.
THERE WAS NO TWITTER.
I WAS THE BLACK BIRD.
THERE WAS NO BLUEBIRD, AND GUYS WOULD HANG OUT.
AND ONCE QUINCY SAID, "WHEN WILL COMES BY--" I TOLD QUINCY, HE'S
THERE ALL THE TIME.
"WHEN WILL COMES BY, I'D LIKE TO PITCH SOMETHING TO HIM."
AT SOME POINT, WE PUT THEM IN AN EMPTY DRESSY ROOM.
BENNIE MEDINA, WILL PRINCE, WILL'S FRIEND CHARLIE I THINK
WAS THERE-- IRRELEVANT TO THE STORY PROBABLY TO YOU-- AND
QUINCY JONES.
THEY TOOK IT TO NBC-- THE OPPOSING NETWORK-- AND "FRESH
PRINCE OF BEL AIR HAPPENED."
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME
BACK, I WILL ASK ARSENIO ABOUT HIS NEW MOVIE "COMING 2
AMERICA," AND ASK HIM HOW HE MET EDDIE MURPHY AND HOW THE FIRST
MOVIE CAME ABOUT.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK WITH ARSENIO HALL.
ANOTHER BELOVED RETURN.
YOU'RE BACK ON SCREEN WITH YOUR FRIEND EDDIE MURPHY IN "COMING 2
AMERICA."
WHEN DID YOU AND EDDIE FIRST MEET?
>> WOW, NO CELL PHONES BACK THEN.
YOU GOT TO BE HOME TO GET THAT CALL.
AND I WAS AT THE CRIB, AND KEENAN IVORY WILLIAMS CALLED ME
AND SAID, "WE'RE ALL GOING TO HANG OUT TONIGHT, MAN.
EDDIE IS IN TOWN AND HE HAS TO WORK ON HIS TONIGHT SHOW SET AT
THE IMPROV, SO LET'S ALL MEET AT THE IMPROV."
WE ALL GOT TO THE IMPROV, AND I THINK EDDIE AND DAMON WERE THE
LAST ONES TO ARRIVE SEPARATELY, AND WHEN EDDIE WALKED UP, HE'S
JUST STARING AT ME AT A PARKING METER IN FRONT OF THE IMPROV.
AND HE'S LOOKING AT ME.
AND I SAID, "HEY, HOW YOU DOING, MAN?"
AND HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
AND KEENAN SAID, HIS MOTHER█ç TO US THAT YOU ALL LOOKED ALIKE.
AND EDDIE IS STARING AT ME AND HE SAID, YO, BROTHER, YOU DON'T
LOOK LIKE ME."
AND REPLACE "BROTHER" WITH YOUR FAVORITE INNER-CITY SLANG.
HE DIDN'T SAY "BROTHER."
WE THROW THE "N" WORD AROUND LOOSELY SOMETIMES WHEN WE'RE
ALONE.
IT'S KIND OF FUNNY THAT'S ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS HE SAID TO ME,
"YO, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE ME, BROTHER."
IT WAS FUNNY.
AND WE HUNG OUT.
I REMEMBER HIM WALKING UP TO ME WITH A YELLOW PAD, AND HE HAD AN
IDEA ON THE YELLOW PAD.
AND IT WAS THE "COMING TO AMERICA" IDEA WITH NO BARBER
SHOP.
IT WAS JUST A FISH OUT OF WATER SITUATION WHERE TWO GUYS COME TO
AMERICA LOOKING FOR A WOMAN.
AND HE HAD BEEN GOING THROUGH THESE CHANGES WHERE HIS LIFE WAS
CHANGING.
HIS CAREER WAS CHANGING.
AND HE WAS LIKE, MAN, IT'S HARD TO FIND A WOMAN WHO JUST DIGS
YOU FOR YOU, MAN.
YOU ALMOST HAVE TO MEET HER IN DISGUISE."
AND THAT GAVE HIM AN IDEA.
AND HE SAID, "AFRICAN COMES TO AMERICA, HE'S ROYALTY, AND HE
WANTS TO MEET SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW HE'S ROYALTY."
THAT IDEA CAME FROM HIS REAL LIFE.
>> Stephen: WHY DID IT TAKE MORE THAN 30 YEARS FOR A SEQUEL?
>> BECAUSE WE'RE LAZY.
NO.
LAWS IT TOOK 30 YEARS BECAUSE WE NEVER PLANNED ON DOING IT.
STEPHEN, IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE SHOOK AND SAID, "LET'S NEVER DO A
SEQUEL."
WE WERE SO HAPPY WITH IT.
JOHN LANDIS PUT HIS FOOT IN IT.
IT WAS PERFECT "WE'RE NEVER GOING TO MESS WITH IT."
BUT THE MOVIE KEPT FOLLOWING US.
IT KEPT TAPPING US.
YOU KNOW, LIKE, EDDIE IS NOT INTO SOCIAL MEDIA AT ALL, BUT
I'M A MANIAC WITH SOCIAL MEDIA.
I'M ON EVERYTHING.
I STILL DO MID SPACE.
I SEND SMOKE SIGNALS.
I LOVE TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE PEOPLE.
AND I WOULD SHOW HIM THINGS-- ONE TIME I SHOWED HIM A TEXT I
GOT FROM BEYONCE'S OFFICE.
SHE WANTED TO HAVE A "COMING TO AMERICA" PARTY AND HAVE
EVERYBODY DRESS LIKE THE CHARACTERS.
AND I SHOWED HIM.
HE SAID, "WOW, THAT MOVIE JUST WON'T GO AWAY."
EVERY TIME-- I ONE TIME SHOWED HIM VIDEO OF PEOPLE OUTSIDE A
RESTAURANT.
THDECORATED THE RESTAURANT AS McDOWELLS, AND ON HALLOWEEN
THEY WERE SERVING SEXUAL CHOCOLATE MILK SHAKES.
AND I SHOWED HIM THE LINE.
I SAID, "THE LINE IS DOWN PAST THE STRIP CLUB" WHICH WE BOTH
ANYHOW THAT AREA.
SO EVERY TIME I WOULD SHOW HIM SOMETHING.
AND THEN ONE TIME, WHEN HE FINALLY DECIDED WE SHOULD DO IT,
HE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA.
AND I LOVED THE YET.
I'M LIKE, "YEAH, MAN, WE'VE GOT TO DO THIS."
BUT THE ONLY THING I HATED WAS HE WANTED TRACY MORGAN TO PLAY
HIS SON.
AND I THINK EDDIE AND TRACY LOOK ABOUT THE SAME AGE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WELL, YOU DO--
>> BUT HE'S EDDIE MURPHY, HE'S EDDIE MURPHY, SO YOU HAVE TO SAY
IT EASY.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
I DID IT IN JOKE FORM.
I SAID, "HEY, MAYBE THE THIRD ONE, MORGAN FREEMAN CAN BE YOUR
SON."
AND HE LAUGHED AND SAID, "YEAH, LET ME THINK ABOUT IT.
BUT I WANT TRACY IN IT BECAUSE I LOVE TRACY."
AND EVERYBODY LOVES TRACY.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE.
CAN YOU TELL US WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> IF IT'S THE CLIP I THINK IT IS, I'M TALKING TO MYSELF,
BECAUSE I'M A VERY LONELY.
I THINK SIMI IS TALKING TO MORRIS THE BARBER.
I MIGHT BE TWO PEOPLE IN THIS SCENE.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, JIM.
>> SO WHAT YOU DOING BACK HERE, IDIOT AMINE.
>> I JUST DISCOVERED I MAY HAVE A SON IN THIS LAND.
>> HOW MUCH CHILD SUPPORT ARE YOU PAYING?
>> THE KING DOESN'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT.
>> NO CHILD SUPPORT FOR 30 YEARS AND YOU CAME BACK, YOU ARE A
DUMMY.
>> Stephen: WELL, ARSENIO, IT WAS REALLY GREAT TO MEET YOU.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> THIS WAS A LOT OF FUN, MAN.
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
WHEN I WAS IN ATLANTA, AND MY SPECIAL ON NETFLIX CAME OUT,
YOUR PEOPLE INVITED ME.
AND WE HAD NEVER MET, AND, OBVIOUSLY, I COULDN'T LEAVE
ATLANTA THEN.
I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT, MAN.
AND THANKS FOR HAVING ME TODAY-- TONIGHT.
>> Stephen: I WANTED TO MEET YOU FOR A LONG TIME.
AND PLEASE GIVE MY BEST AND MY THANKS TO YOUR MOM.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
I'M GOING TO SEND YOU THIS.
I'M PUTTING IT IN FEDEX!
>> Stephen: PLEASE, AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU WHEN I HAVE AN
AUDIENCE.
>> I WOULD LOVE TO COME TO THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER, DOG.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SEE "COMING 2 AMERICA" ON AMAZON STARTING
FRIDAY, MARCH 5.
ARSENIO HALL, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY CELESTE.
THANKS, MAN.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
GOLDEN GLOBE-NOMINATED ORIGINAL SONG, "HEAR MY VOICE," FROM "THE
TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7," CELESTE!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ HEAR MY VOICE HEAR MY DREAMS
♪ LET US MAKE A WORLD IN WHICH I BELIEVE
♪ HEAR MY WORDS HEAR MY CRIES
♪ LET ME SEE A CHANGE THROUGH THESE EYES
♪ YOU MAY THINK I WON'T BE HEARD
♪ STILL I RAISE THIS HAND SPREAD THIS WORD
♪ THESE WORDS OF FIRE OF HOPE AND DESIRE
♪ AND I'LL LET THEM FREE HEAR MY VOICE
♪ HEAR MY DREAMS LET US MAKE A WORLD
♪ IN WHICH WE BELIEVE IN WHICH WE BELIEVE
♪ HEAR MY WORDS HEAR MY CHOICE
♪ HEAR MY VOICE ♪ >> Stephen: HER DEBUT ALBUM,
"NOT YOUR MUSE," IS OUT NOW.
CELESTE, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE REGINA KING AND MUSICAL
GUEST VIC MENSA.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
Captioning sponsored by CBS Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
>> Stephen: HEY, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
ARE WE DOING THIS THING?
>> Stephen: I HOPE SO.
I HOPE SO.
THEY'VE TOLD ME WE'RE GOING TO BROADCAST TONIGHT.
BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.
>> I THOUGHT THIS WAS A REHEARSAL, A DRESS REHEARSAL.
♪ ♪ ♪