1 00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:04,295 >> THE N.F.L. IS LOOKING TO HELP TACKLE THE VACCINE ROLLOUT, 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:11,219 OFFERING ALL 30 STADIUMS AS MASS VACCINATION SITES, EACH EXPECTED 3 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,387 TO INOCULATE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE EACH DAY. 4 00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:14,973 >> WE HERE AT THE N.F.L. ARE EXCITED TO HELP DISTRIBUTE THE 5 00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,933 VACCINE THE WAY ONLY THE N.F.L. 6 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,186 CAN -- DUMPING IT OVER YOUR HEAD! 7 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:25,400 OUR STADIUMS WILL CARRY ALL C.D.C.-APPROVED VACCINES 8 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,736 INCLUDING PFIZER, MODERNA AND PURPLE. 9 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:30,447 COME EXPERIENCE THE COVID QUENCHER. 10 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,157 VACCINE SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE -- 11 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,953 GLACIER FREEZE, FROST RIPTIDE RUSH, FIERCE MELON AND 12 00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:37,871 PNEUMONIA. 13 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,165 SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT ELIGIBLE FOR THE VACCINE. 14 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:43,251 SO COME GET YOUR INNOCU-DUMP AT AN N.F.L. STADIUM TODAY. 15 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:44,169 HEY, FELLAS! 16 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:47,130 YOU JUST GOT INOCULATED! 17 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,173 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? 18 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:52,260 >> WE'RE GOING TO HUG OLD PEOPLE! 19 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:53,344 WHOO! 20 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,640 >> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT! 21 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,810 TONIGHT, BUG, YEAH. 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:05,315 PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES QUEEN LATIFAH AND STEVEN YEUN, 23 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:12,947 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY " HUMAN." 24 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,325 NOW LIVE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING IN 25 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,953 NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 26 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:19,496 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 27 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,540 WELCOME TO A LATE SHOW. 28 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:27,670 I'M YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT. 29 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,338 BUC, YEAH! 30 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,172 THAT'S FINE. 31 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:33,343 BUT MAYBE DON'T PUSH IT. 32 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:37,347 OKAY. 33 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,389 FOLKS, LAST NIGHT WE WERE ALL WATCHING THE SUPER BOWL. 34 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:43,186 YOU KNOW WHO WON, MY HALF COOKED CHOCOLATE SOUFFLE. 35 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:48,233 IF YOU'VE NEVER DONE A SOUFFLE, IT'S BASICALLY JUST EGGS. 36 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:54,239 ONE MINUTE MAKES A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LUSH LAVA CENTER AND A 37 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:58,243 NERF. 38 00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,870 I MADE A NERF CAKE. 39 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:06,167 BUT IN LARGER SENSE, LAST NIGHT, NO MALL AT THIS WON. 40 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:09,504 I'M NOT SAYING THINGS ARE ALL NORMAL NOW JUST BECAUSE THERE 41 00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:15,093 WAS A SUPER BOWL, BUT THERE WAS SOME NORMAL MIXED IN WITH OUR 42 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,553 WEIRD! 43 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:17,262 TOM BRADY WON: NORMAL! 44 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:20,181 FOR TAMPA BAY: THAT'S WEIRD. 45 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:24,727 THERE WERE 25,000 FANS IN THE SEATS: NORMAL. 46 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,146 THERE WERE 30,000 CARDBOARD CUTOUTS IN THE SEATS: THAT'S 47 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,398 WEIRD. 48 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,943 THE WEEKND PERFORMED A HALF-TIME SHOW: NORMAL! 49 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:37,198 HE GOT STUCK INSIDE A TOASTER OVEN: WEIRD! 50 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:42,120 OUR EMOTIONS WERE MANIPULATED BY AMERICA'S COMMERCIAL-INDUSTRIAL 51 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,746 COMPLEX: NORMAL! 52 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,917 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN WAS IN A JEEP COMMERCIAL: THAT'S UNUSUAL. 53 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,921 HE WAS IN KANSAS IN THE WINTER IN A JEEP WITH THE TOP DOWN. 54 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:56,217 THAT IS WEIRD, BRUCE! 55 00:02:56,301 --> 00:03:03,600 YOU'RE 71, YOU CAN'T TAKE A 10TH AVENUE FREEZE-OUT 56 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,434 AT YOUR AGE! 57 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,561 I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT! 58 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:11,232 LISTEN TO THE TONE OF MY VOICE, HOW PANICKED I AM! 59 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:15,278 THIS IS NOT ACTING, THIS IS JUST HOW I TALK NOW! 60 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:20,325 ( SCREECHING ) ONE THING, DOC SAYS I SHOULD 61 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:21,200 DRINK DECAF. 62 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:24,162 I'M GETTING A NEW DOC. 63 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:25,455 ONE THING THAT WAS NOT NORMAL BUT WAS BEAUTIFUL, WAS THE 64 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,624 PRE-GAME PERFORMANCE FROM THE BREAKOUT STAR OF JOE BIDEN'S 65 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:31,210 INAUGURATION, POET AMANDA GORMAN, WHO RECITED AN 66 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,629 ORIGINAL POEM. 67 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,173 IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING PRE-GAME POETRY RECITAL SINCE 68 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:39,260 ROBERT FROST KICKED OFF THE ACTION AT SUPER BOWL 1. 69 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,430 >> WHOSE WOODS THESE ARE I THINK I KNOW. 70 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:48,811 HIS HOUSE IS IN THE VILLA-- OH! 71 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:54,192 >> Stephen: I THINK HE VAPORIZED HIM. 72 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,445 JUST BONE AND DANDRUFF! 73 00:03:57,528 --> 00:04:00,657 WHILE THE TEAMS DID THEIR BEST TO MAKE THE GAME ITSELF 74 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,201 SAFE-ISH, THE AFTERPARTY ON THE STREETS OF TAMPA WAS A DIFFERENT 75 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,327 STORY. 76 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:08,456 BECAUSE FOLLOWING THE BUCS' BLOWOUT VICTORY, HORDES OF 77 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:15,213 MASKLESS FANS PARTIED HEARTY, IN A DISPLAY THAT CAN ONLY BE 78 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,297 DESCRIBED AS "FLORIDA." 79 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:21,010 BECAUSE THE PANDEMIC STILL RAGES ACROSS THE NATION. 80 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,304 I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF "CATCH A 81 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:27,308 THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER." 82 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,310 ♪♪♪ ♪ OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE 83 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:36,234 WOODS TO GRANDMOTHER'S LUNGS WE GO ♪ 84 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:37,819 DON'T WANNA BE LATE. 85 00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,237 SHE MIGHT VACCINATE. 86 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,322 I GOTTA GET INTO HER NOSE! 87 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,032 ( LAUGHTER ) WAIT. 88 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:46,077 I HIT HIM THE FIRST SHOT? 89 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,412 >> YEAH. 90 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,204 >> Stephen: THIS IS -- I CAN THINK OF VERY FEW THINGS THAT 91 00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:53,418 ARE LESS COVID SAFE -- ( SNEEZING ) 92 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:58,047 THAN A BLOW DART! 93 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:58,506 THIS IS FANTASTIC. 94 00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,966 >> NO. 95 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:06,305 >> Stephen: IT IS! 96 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,890 PEOPLE ARE FINALLY GETTING VACCINATED, BUT IT'S 97 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:11,352 STILL A RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK, BECAUSE A NEW COVID VARIANT 98 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:14,105 FIRST FOUND IN BRITAIN IS NOW SPREADING RAPIDLY IN THE 99 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:15,356 U.S. 100 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,360 IT'S THE BIGGEST HEALTH HAZARD SINCE THE 1960'S BRITISH 101 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:23,948 INVASION OF CHAD AND CHLAMYDIA HERMAN'S HERPES. 102 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:31,080 RESEARCHERS BELIEVE THE NEW STRAIN GOT HERE THANKS TO PEOPLE 103 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,916 TRAVELING FROM BRITAIN ON THANKSGIVING. 104 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,588 YES, TRAVELERS FROM BRITAIN BROUGHT CATASTROPHIC DISEASES TO 105 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:45,219 AMERICA IN LATE MOVEMENT LIKE THE FIRST THANKSGIVING. 106 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,387 BUT THERE IS SOME PROMISING PANDEMIC NEWS. 107 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,597 LAST WEEK, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER,THE NUMBER OF COVID-19 108 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:53,102 VACCINES GIVEN OUT OUTNUMBERED NEW COVID CASES 10 TO 1. 109 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,479 YES! 110 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:55,438 WE'RE SO CLOSE TO THE END OF THE PANDEMIC, I CAN ALMOST TASTE 111 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,315 THOSE DOORKNOBS I'M GOING TO LICK! 112 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,524 THAT'S NOT ALL THE GOOD NEWS. 113 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:03,321 VACCINE DISTRIBUTION IS LOOKING SO PROMISING THAT PRESIDENT 114 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:07,450 BIDEN IS UPPING HIS "100 MILLION VACCINATIONS IN HIS FIRST 100 115 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:11,412 DAYS" GOAL TO 150 MILLION, AN INCREASE OF 50%. 116 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:15,458 AND TO CELEBRATE, HE'S ALSO UPPING HIS ICE CREAM DOSAGE BY 117 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,419 50%. 118 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,339 ONE REASON FOR BIDEN'S OPTIMISM IS THAT LAST WEEK, JOHNSON AND 119 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:23,800 JOHNSON APPLIED FOR EMERGENCY APPROVAL OF WHAT WOULD BE THE 120 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:27,428 WORLD' FIRST ONE-SHOT CORONAVIRUS VACCINE. 121 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:35,436 THEY'VE ALREADY GOT A SLOGAN AND SPOKESMAN READY FOR IT. 122 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,481 >> AT JOHNSON AND JOHNSON, WE REC NICE THAT IS -- 123 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:43,444 ♪ YOU ONLY GET ONE SHOT ♪ ♪ DO NOT MISS YOUR CHANCE TO 124 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:47,156 BLOW ♪ ♪ THIS OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN 125 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:47,990 A LIFETIME. 126 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,619 >> Stephen: THANK YOU, DR. SHADY. 127 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,955 AT THIS POINT, FIVE SEPARATE VACCINES HAVE GONE THROUGH 128 00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,164 PUBLIC TRIALS, WITH EXCITING RESULTS: OF THE ROUGHLY 75,000 129 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:55,998 PEOPLE WHO HAVE RECEIVED ONE OF THE FIVE IN A RESEARCH TRIAL 130 00:06:56,082 --> 00:07:03,172 NOT A SINGLE PERSON HAS DIED FROM COVID. 131 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,257 75,000 SHOTS AND NO DEATHS? 132 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:07,468 THOSE ARE "STORMTROOPERS SHOOTING AT LUKE SKYWALKER" 133 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,636 NUMBERS. 134 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:11,514 NOW THAT MULTIPLE VACCINES ARE ON THE MARKET, BRITISH 135 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:15,518 RESEARCHERS HAVE STARTED EXPERIMENTING, MIXING DOSES OF 136 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,479 THE PFIZER AND ASTRAZENECA SHOTS IN A WORLD FIRST. 137 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,399 AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW TO MIX THEM, JUST REMEMBER: 138 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:26,320 "ASTRAZENECA BEFORE PFIZER GREAT APPETIZER. 139 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:31,075 PFIZER BEFORE ASTRAZENECA INJECT IT AGAIN-ECA." 140 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:34,245 SPEAKING OF ONGOING PLAGUES, TODAY WAS DAY ONE OF THE FORMER 141 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:35,705 PRESIDENT'S IMPEACHMENT TRIAL. 142 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:39,500 I'LL CATCH YOU UP IN TONIGHT'S DON AND THE GIANT IMPEACH 2: GO 143 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,210 FAST, WE'RE FURIOUS. 144 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,046 >> WE HAD AN ELECTION THAT WAS STOLEN FROM US. 145 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:47,508 IT WAS A LANDSLIDE ELECTION EVERYONE KNOWS IT, ESPECIALLY 146 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:53,139 THE OTHER SIDE. 147 00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,516 I'M IN VERY, VERY BAD SHAPE. 148 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,060 THOSE LEGS HAVE GOTTEN VERY THIN. 149 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,478 >> STEPHEN: THE ACTUAL ARGUMENTS DON'T START UNTIL TOMORROW. 150 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:03,524 TODAY, THE SENATE TALKED ABOUT THE FIRST STEP OF THE TRIAL: ITS 151 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,526 RULES. 152 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,029 SO FAR, THEY'VE AGREED TO NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE. 153 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:11,532 THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S LAWYERS SUBMITTED THEIR BRIEFS EARLIER 154 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,619 TODAY, LAYING OUT THEIR ARGUMENT THAT THE GUY DIDN'T DO THE THING 155 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,913 WE ALL SAW HIM DO. 156 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:24,587 THEY CLAIM HE USED THE WORD "FIGHT" A LITTLE MORE THAN A 157 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,714 HANDFUL OF TIMES AND EACH TIME IN THE FIGURATIVE SENSE. 158 00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:29,258 BUT ACTUALLY, HE USED THE WORDS "FIGHT" OR "FIGHTING" AT LEAST 159 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:29,884 20 TIMES. 160 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:30,885 THAT'S FOUR HANDFULS! 161 00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:32,553 PROBABLY MORE WITH THOSE TINY HANDS. 162 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:36,098 REMEMBER WHEN WE JUST MADE FUN OF HIS LITTLE HANDS INSTEAD 163 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:39,560 OF HIS ATTEMPTS TO DESTROY DEMOCRACY? 164 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,772 I MISS NONE OF THAT. 165 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:47,777 AND IF YOU THOUGHT THERE'S NO WAY FOR A LEGAL DOCUMENT TO BE 166 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:52,740 CATTY, GET OUT A SAUCER OF MILK BECAUSE YOU ARE WRONG. 167 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:54,742 IN THE FILING, IT REFERS TO PRESIDENT BIDEN MERELY AS 168 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:56,953 "FORMER VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN." 169 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,079 OKAY, IF HE'S GOING TO REFER TO BIDEN AS "FORMER VICE 170 00:08:58,162 --> 00:08:59,956 PRESIDENT," I'M GOING TO REFER TO HIM AS "FORMER GRIMACE 171 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:03,376 CO-STAR." 172 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,336 WHAT A WEIRD, BRIGHTLY-COLORED FAST-FOOD ADVERTISEMENT. 173 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:10,591 ALSO, GRIMACE! 174 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,759 LAST WEEK, WE HAD SOME FUN WHEN THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S LAWYERS 175 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:14,971 SUBMITTED A DOCUMENT WITH A GLARING TYPO. 176 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:18,599 AND THEY'RE NOTHING IF NOT CONSISTENTLY STUPID, BECAUSE 177 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:23,437 THIS NEW DOCUMENT MAKES THE EXACT SAME ERROR, SAYING: THAT 178 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:27,650 THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH WAS NOT AN ATTEMPT TO "OVERTHROW THE 179 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,527 UNITES STATES GOVERNMENT." 180 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,654 OF COURSE, IT ISN'T THE "UNITES" STATES. 181 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,781 WHAT IS IT AGAIN? 182 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:35,658 >> UNITED SHHSTUHH. 183 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:39,662 >> STEPHEN: YESH. 184 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,164 DESPITE BEING IMPEACHED, THE FORMER MAILORDER MEAT SALESMAN 185 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,624 IS DOING GREAT. 186 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,626 ACCORDING TO FORMER CAMPAIGN ADVISER AND ELF TELLING HERMEY 187 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,797 HE CAN'T BE A DENTIST, JASON MILLER. 188 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,466 MILLER CLAIMS THAT THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS HAPPIER NOW THAT 189 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,634 HE'S OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. 190 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,636 WOW. 191 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,513 THAT MAKES SEVEN BILLION OF US. 192 00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:59,640 THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HAVE UNITED THE WORLD IN JOY MORE 193 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,601 THAN HIS TWITTER BAN WOULD'VE BEEN "BABY YODA PRESENTS: THE 194 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,644 DEEP-FRIED VACCINE ORGASM." 195 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:10,609 FEATURING UNLIKELY ANIMAL FRIENDSHIPS. 196 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:11,610 YES, HE'S 50. 197 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,988 IT'S OKAY. 198 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,656 MILLER EXPLAINED, "HE'S SAID THAT NOT BEING ON SOCIAL MEDIA, 199 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:19,368 AND NOT BEING SUBJECT TO THE HATEFUL ECHO CHAMBER THAT SOCIAL 200 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,538 MEDIA TOO FREQUENTLY BECOMES, HAS ACTUALLY BEEN GOOD." 201 00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:23,914 OKAY. 202 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,375 THAT SOUNDS A LITTLE LIKE YOUR EX'S BEST FRIEND CLAIMING HE'S 203 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,585 HAPPIER WITHOUT YOU. 204 00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:28,544 "OH, YEAH, TONY'S DOING GREAT. 205 00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:29,045 HE'S LOST THE WEIGHT. 206 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,713 WORKING OUT MORE. 207 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,423 YEAH. 208 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,675 HE'S DATING THIS HOT MODEL, WHO HE WOULD NEVER DUMP FOR YOU EVEN 209 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:35,718 IF YOU WANTED HIM BACK, UNLESS YOU WANTED HIM BACK. 210 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:36,469 DO YOU WANT HIM BACK? 211 00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,846 NO? 212 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:42,850 GOOD, 'CUZ HE'S GREAT!" IS THAT WHAT HE SAYS? 213 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,018 KNOTTING? 214 00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,394 OKAY. 215 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,604 MILLER ADDS THAT THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S NEW FOUND 216 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:47,063 CONTENTMENT IS SOMETHING THE FIRST LADY HAS BACKED UP AS 217 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,273 WELL. 218 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,649 SHE HAS SAID SHE LOVES IT. 219 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,068 WELL, SURE. 220 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,029 IT'S THE ONLY PROGRESS SHE'S EVER MADE IN HER CAMPAIGN 221 00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:56,447 AGAINST CYBERBULLYING. 222 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,241 TURNS OUT "BE BEST" SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN "BE BANNED." 223 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:03,037 AND IT'S NOT JUST GETTING OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. 224 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,872 MILLER CLAIMS THAT THE FAILED CASINO OWNER IS HAPPY TO BE FREE 225 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:08,042 OF THE BURDENS OF THE OFFICE EXPLAINING THAT RETIREMENT IS 226 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:11,712 "THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS THAT I SAW THE PRESIDENT TRULY 227 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,798 RELAXED." 228 00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:16,258 YES, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOUR YEARS, HE'S FREE OF ALL THE 229 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,720 PRESSING DECISIONS THAT KEPT HIM UP AT NIGHT: HANNITY OR DOBBS, 230 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:25,810 2-IRON OR DRIVER, CHICKEN BUCKET OR TACO BOWL. 231 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,645 CHICKEN BOWL TACO BUCKET? 232 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:28,896 SO MANY OPTIONS. 233 00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:31,649 BUT IF HE'S THIS RELAXED BY THREE WEEKS OUT OF OFFICE, 234 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:34,568 IMAGINE HOW SERENE HE WOULD BE IF HE COULD NEVER HOLD OFFICE 235 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:35,444 AGAIN. 236 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,280 SENATE REPUBLICANS, THINK OF HIS HAPPINESS. 237 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,698 SOME PEOPLE ARE ALREADY BEING PUNISHED FOR THEIR ROLE IN THE 238 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,784 ASSAULT ON THE CAPITOL. 239 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,744 I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST DETAILS IN TONIGHT'S SEDITIONIST 240 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:51,752 ROUND-UP ROUNDUP. 241 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:58,759 >> SAY, CLEM, GUANTANA, MOO! 242 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:02,680 >> Stephen: THE LATEST TO BE ARRESTED BY THE 243 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:03,973 F.B.I. IS CAPITOL RIOTER AND MAN WITH A REFRESHINGLY HONEST 244 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,474 TINDER PROFILE PIC, SAM FISCHER. 245 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,725 WHEN HE'S NOT TRYING TO OVERTHROW DEMOCRACY, FISCHER IS 246 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:07,768 A SELF-STYLED MANHATTAN DATING COACH WHO GOES BY THE NAME "BRAD 247 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,146 HOLIDAY." 248 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,772 BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GET YOUR DATING COACH NAME: YOU CHOOSE 249 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,650 ANY FIRST NAME, AND THE FAMILY GATHERING YOU'RE NOW BANNED FROM 250 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:18,696 BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT A GUN LAST TIME. 251 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:23,117 FISCHER'S VIDEO COLLECTION SUGGESTS A FIERCE DEVOTION TO A 252 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,786 HYPERMASCULINE ETHOS AND FEATURED ADVICE ABOUT THINGS 253 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,122 LIKE THE BEST FACIAL SERUMS. 254 00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,166 IT REMINDS ME OF THAT FAMOUS TEDDY ROOSEVELT QUOTE, "SPEAK 255 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,042 SOFTLY AND USE RETINOL AROUND THE EYES! 256 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:38,966 REMEMBER UP, ALWAYS UP!" NOW, FISCHER IS IN FEDERAL 257 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,135 CUSTODY, BUT SOME OF THE SEDITIONISTS ARE GETTING OFF 258 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,887 PRETTY EASY. 259 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:46,974 FOR INSTANCE, ON FRIDAY, A FEDERAL JUDGE RULED THAT A WOMAN 260 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:53,189 CHARGED IN US CAPITOL RIOT CAN TAKE A TRIP TO MEXICO. 261 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:54,190 THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 262 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:54,982 YOU CAN'T LET HER GO ON VACATION. 263 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,359 SHE'S A FLIGHT RISK. 264 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,737 BECAUSE THERE'S A PANDEMIC AND I SERIOUSLY DOUBT SHE'S GOING TO 265 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,865 WEAR A MASK ON THAT FLIGHT! 266 00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,535 THE RIOTER IN QUESTION IS NAMED JENNY LOUISE CUDD, WHO SOUGHT 267 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,537 PERMISSION FOR HER MEXICO GETAWAY FOR A "WORK-RELATED 268 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,915 BONDING RETREAT" WITH HER EMPLOYEES AND THEIR SPOUSES. 269 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:15,753 THIS HAS GOTTA SUCK FOR HER EMPLOYEES AND THEIR SPOUSES. 270 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,756 "HEY HONEY, GREAT NEWS! 271 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,716 JENNY GOT ARRESTED FOR ATTACKING CONGRESS, SO WE WON'T HAVE TO 272 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:23,010 SPEND THE WHOLE MEXICO TRIP LEARNING HOW TO SAY 'STOP THE 273 00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:25,012 STEAL' IN SPANISH. 274 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:35,856 I'M SORRY, THE JUDGE DID WHAT?!" QUESQUE PASA? 275 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,900 THE MEXICO TRIP MAY BE AN ATTEMPT TO BOOST COMPANY MORALE. 276 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:40,945 CUDD CLAIMS THAT THE INSURRECTION BROUGHT NEGATIVE 277 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,947 ATTENTION FOR HER FLORAL BUSINESS, WHICH RECEIVED 500 278 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,073 NEGATIVE REVIEWS ON GOOGLE FROM ACROSS THE COUNTRY. 279 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,241 THEY WERE HARSH. 280 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,785 LIKE THIS ONE: "FLOWERS WERE DELIVERED BY A NAZI, WHO SMASHED 281 00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:51,580 OUR WINDOWS. 282 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,665 ALSO, TOO MUCH BABY'S BREATH." 283 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,793 DESPITE THE BAD REVIEWS, CUDD EXPRESSED NO REGRETS: 284 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:59,797 >> WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TO DO IS CANCEL ME BECAUSE I STOOD UP FOR 285 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,883 WHAT IT IS THAT I BELIEVE IN. 286 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,593 AND I CAN TELL YOU THIS, AND I'VE TOLD EVERYBODY THIS, I 287 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,972 WOULD DO IT AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT! 288 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,933 >> Stephen: OKAY, I THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO CANCEL YOU 289 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,060 BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S ADMISSIBLE IN COURT. 290 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:15,896 (AS LAWYER) "YOU HONOR, MY CLIENT DID IT, 291 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,023 AND SHE'LL DO IT AGAIN! 292 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,900 THE DEFENSE RESTS. 293 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,610 AND QUITS! 294 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,904 AND REALLY REGRETS LAW SCHOOL. 295 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:27,908 GOD IS SHE GUILTY!" WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 296 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:28,909 TONIGHT, QUEEN LATIFAH IS HERE. 297 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,287 BUT WHEN WE RETURN, MEANWHILE! 298 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:31,954 STICK AROUND. 299 00:14:55,019 --> 00:15:03,027 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: OH, MY GOODNESS. 300 00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,656 OH, HEY, WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 301 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,991 LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE. 302 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,452 JON, DID YOU WATCH THE GAME LAST NIGHT? 303 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,369 >> Jon: YES, I DID. 304 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,664 I SAW HISTORY BEING MADE. 305 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:15,914 SEVEN! 306 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,541 SEVEN! 307 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:18,125 SEVEN! 308 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:19,835 >> Stephen: I KNOW. 309 00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:21,503 WAIT -- BUT YOU WEREN'T PULLING FOR HIM BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO PULL 310 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,671 FOR THE SAINTS. 311 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:26,383 >> Jon: YEAH, I GOTTA PULL FOR THE SAINTS. 312 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:31,472 I'M NEW ORLEANS THROUGH AND THROUGH BLACK AND GOLD, WHO DAT. 313 00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:33,891 BUT IT IS INCREDIBLE TO SEE WHAT MR. TOM BRADY IS -- 314 00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,893 >> Stephen: IT DOES SETTLE THE QUESTION. 315 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:36,310 IT'S OVER. 316 00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:37,019 >> Jon: RIGHT. 317 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,521 SEVEN. 318 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,023 AND AFTER THE GAME, HE'S JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN HERE 319 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,024 BEFORE. 320 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:46,528 JUST LIKE GOING TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE. 321 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,155 >> Stephen: YEAH, HE WAS TOTALLY CHILL FOR THE ENTIRE 322 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,490 THING. 323 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:50,991 THEY LOOKED LIKE CLEARLY THEY HAD IT IN THE BAG. 324 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:55,329 HE JUST SAT ON THE BENCH STONE FACED, LIKE HE'S GOT SOME KIND 325 00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:56,997 OF SWITCH HE CAN TURN OFF. 326 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,207 >> Jon: THAT'S SOMETHING TO BE ABLE TO DO. 327 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:02,002 YOU CAN APPLY THAT TO A LOT OF DIFFERENT SKILLS IF YOU FIGURE 328 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,339 THAT ONE OUT. 329 00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:08,175 >> Stephen: JON, WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR FINISHING TIPS 330 00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:09,093 TONIGHT? 331 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:12,054 ANYTHING THAT WANTS TO GET ITS WAY? 332 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:17,226 ( WHEN THE SAINTS COME MARCHING IN ) 333 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:19,103 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: ALWAYS NEXT YEAR, 334 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:19,687 JON. 335 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,729 JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY. 336 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,107 THANK YOU, JON! 337 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:28,737 FOLKS, IF YOU WATCHED THE BIG GAME YESTERDAY, YOU WILL 338 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,196 RECALL THAT A LATE SHOW HAD AN ALL NEW, SUPER BOWL SUNDAY 339 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,532 SPECIAL. 340 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:35,911 AND WE DECIDED THAT, AFTER A DAY OF BIG BUSINESSES WITH BIG 341 00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:38,414 COMMERCIALS, WE'D LIKE TO HELP OUT A SMALL BUSINESS WITH A 342 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:42,376 SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL OF THEIR OWN: FOGGY PINE BOOKS IN 343 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:43,585 BOONE, NORTH CAROLINA. 344 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:54,430 HERE'S A LITTLE TASTE: ♪ FOGGY PINE BOOKS ON KEENE 345 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:55,848 STREET IN BOONE, ♪ ♪ BETWEEN THE BAPTIST CHURCH AND 346 00:16:55,931 --> 00:17:02,104 THE BOONE SALOON ♪ ♪ FOGGY PINE, FOGGY PINE, FOGGY 347 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,565 PINE ♪ >> YOUR ADVENTURE AWAITS. 348 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:05,607 >> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT, FOGGY PINE BOOKS! 349 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:09,570 WHOSE PROUD OWNER IS MARY RUTHLESS. 350 00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:10,779 WITH A NAME LIKE THAT, I'M SO GLAD THEY OPENED A BOOKSTORE 351 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:15,117 INSTEAD OF GOING INTO THE FAMILY BUSINESS OF, I ASSUME, SAILING 352 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,872 THE SEVEN SEAS WITH A RAGTAG CREW OF DREAD PIRATES? 353 00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:23,292 WE TOLD MARY TO WATCH THE SHOW, BUT WE DIDN'T TELL THEM EXACTLY 354 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,085 WHAT WE WERE GOING TO BE DOING. 355 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,087 AND THEY WERE KIND ENOUGH TO SET UP A CAMERA TO CATCH THEIR 356 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:30,132 REACTION. 357 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,092 >> FOGGY PINE BOOKS HAS THE BEST SELECTION IN ALL OF BOONE. 358 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:39,683 THEY HAVE BOOKS ON ALL OF MY INTERESTS SUCH AS WORLD WAR II 359 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:43,312 AND ALSO AT THE VENTS OF 1939 TO 1945. 360 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,105 THANK YOU, FOGGY PINE! 361 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:49,276 >> FOGGY PINE BOOKS IN BOONE, NORTH CAROLINA. 362 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,778 >> STEPHEN: LOOK HOW EXCITED THEY ARE! 363 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,155 IT'S RIGHT ON MARY'S FACE-- I CAN READ IT LIKE A BOOK! 364 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,199 A BOOK I CAN PURCHASE AT FOGGY PINE BOOKS IN BOONE, NORTH 365 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:58,786 CAROLINA! 366 00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,163 RUTHLESS WAS OVER THE MOON, AS THEY TOLD CBS AFFILIATE WBTV, 367 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:06,043 CHARLOTTE'S NEWS LEADER. 368 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:11,632 >> THREE WEEKS AGO, WE WERE WONDERING HOW WE WERE GOING TO 369 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,300 MAKE IT THROUGH WINTER, AND NOW I'M HAVING TO HIRE A COUPLE OF 370 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:14,301 EXTRA PEOPLE TO PROCESS ALL THE ORDERS. 371 00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:18,055 >> STEPHEN: YES! 372 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:21,183 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HOPED FOR IF YOU'RE IN BOONE, 373 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,228 NORTH CAROLINA, AND YOU LIKE BOOKS AND NEED A LITTLE MONEY, 374 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:25,479 MAYBE YOU CAN WORK AT FOGGY PINE BOOKS. 375 00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,816 I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THEY PAY, BUT I PROMISE YOU, YOU'LL GET 376 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:33,153 MORE PEE BREAKS THERE THAN AT AMAZON. 377 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:36,073 Y'KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME HAND-HAMMERING THE FINEST, MOST 378 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:40,869 TOPICAL 24 KARAT NEWS GOLD INTO TWO PERFECTLY MATCHED HEART 379 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,331 SHAPES, CRAFTING A CUSTOM HINGE AND A CLASP TO JOIN THEM, AND 380 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:48,210 CAREFULLY CUTTING AND INSERTING THE MOST CURRENT DAGUERROTYPES 381 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,087 IN IT TO CREATE THE VICTORIAN-ERA SWEETHEART LOCKET 382 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:53,340 OF STORIES THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. 383 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,217 BUT SOMETIMES I SNAP AWAKE IN A COLD SWEAT, REALIZING I'VE 384 00:18:55,300 --> 00:19:00,848 FORGOTTEN VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING, RUMMAGE THROUGH THE 385 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:04,226 PANTRY FOR A BOX OF NOODLES I BOUGHT TO STOCK UP FOR HURRICANE 386 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:08,188 SANDY, HASTILY TRIM THEM INTO SHAPE WITH SOME RUSTY GARDEN 387 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,942 SHEARS, AND STRING 'EM ONTO THE BLOOD STAINED SHOELACE FROM A 388 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,570 BOOT I SALVAGED ON THE HIGHWAY TO CREATE FOR YOU THE ACCURS-ED 389 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:18,115 MACARONI NECKLACE OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: 390 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:24,121 >> QUARANTINEWHILE! 391 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:29,209 >> STEPHEN: QUARANTINE-WHILE, UTAH THEME PARK "EVERMORE PARK" 392 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:33,964 IS SUING TAYLOR SWIFT OVER HER 'EVERMORE' ALBUM TITLE. 393 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,757 WHEREAS "I" AM SUING TAYLOR SWIFT OVER HER 'EVERMORE' ALBUM 394 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:36,842 MAKING ME FEEL TOO MANY FEELINGS. 395 00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:40,262 THIS PANDEMIC IS EMOTIONAL ENOUGH WITHOUT A STIRRING 396 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:46,226 MUSICAL TRIBUTE TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER MARJORIE, TAY-TAY! 397 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,229 DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! 398 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:52,608 THOUGH I GOTTA SAY, THE LAWSUIT I EXPECTED AGAINST TAYLOR WOULD 399 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:53,775 BE FROM SWIFT BRAND SAUSAGES. 400 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:57,237 AND NOT JUST FOR TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT, HER SONG "I DON'T 401 00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:01,325 WANNA LIVE FOREVER" IS A CLEAR AND DEFAMATORY REFERENCE TO 402 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:06,163 SWIFT CHEEZY BRATS. 403 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:10,167 QUARANTINE-WHILE, A MAN IN CHICAGO HAD A STROKE OF GOOD 404 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:13,962 LUCK WHEN THE $22,000 FLUTE HE LOST ON THE TRAIN TURNED UP IN A 405 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:14,296 PAWN SHOP. 406 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,925 "OH. GOOD. 407 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:18,759 THE FLUTE'S BACK." 408 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:25,140 SAID THE FLUTE OWNER'S ROOMMATE. 409 00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:29,144 QUARANTINE-WHILE, IF YOU THOUGHT WORKING FOR AMAZON ALREADY 410 00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:34,191 SUCKED, FOR SOME TIME NOW AMAZON WAREHOUSES NATIONWIDE HAVE HAD A 411 00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:40,322 10-HOUR GRAVEYARD SHIFT, "THAT RUNS FROM 1:20 A.M. TO 11:50 412 00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,657 A.M.," KNOWN AS THE "MEGACYCLE." 413 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:42,199 OKAY, LET'S JUST AGREE JEFF BEZOS HAS GONE FULL 414 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,576 SUPERVILLAIN. 415 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,369 (AS CREEPY VILLAIN) "THE CARBON BASED WORKERS ARE 416 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:50,207 STILL ALIVE? 417 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:57,673 HAVE WE TRIED... THE MEGACYCLE?" QUARANTINE-WHILE, "A 90-YEAR-OLD 418 00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,216 AT&T USER PAID FOR A "WALL STREET JOURNAL" AD TO TELL THE 419 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,385 C.E.O. OF AT&T THAT HIS INTERNET SUCKS." 420 00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:04,429 DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE HAS TO BE FOR 421 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:10,352 SOMEONE TO PAY FOR AN AD IN THE JOURNAL? 422 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:19,528 THAT'S LIKE FILING A COMPLAINT AGAINST YOUR BANK VIA SKYWRITER. 423 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:20,570 YES. 424 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:24,491 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH QUEEN LATIFAH. 425 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:25,742 ♪♪♪ 426 00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:37,546 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, 427 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,881 WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW." 428 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:43,719 SHE IS A GRAMMY AND EMMY AWARD-WINNING HIP-HOP ICON AND 429 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:44,886 ACTRESS. 430 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,014 HER NEW DRAMA SERIES, "THE EQUALIZER," PREMIERED LAST NIGHT 431 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,056 ON CBS. 432 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,768 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," QUEEN LATIFAH! 433 00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:56,898 OH, AND SHE'S STILL GETTING DRESSED UP. 434 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,734 YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, FANTASTIC. 435 00:21:58,817 --> 00:21:59,109 YOU'RE GLOWING. 436 00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:00,027 >> THANK YOU. 437 00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:00,694 OF COURSE, OF COURSE, THANK YOU. 438 00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:02,696 >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU. 439 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:03,739 ALSO, I LOVE YOUR BACKGROUND. 440 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,073 I LOVE THAT BACKGROUND. 441 00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,700 I LOVE THAT PAINTING BEHIND YOU. 442 00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:08,410 IT GIVES YOU A NIMBUS MIND YOUR HEAD. 443 00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:09,411 >> I LOVE THAT, YOU KNOW. 444 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:14,708 >> Stephen: A LITTLE GLOW. 445 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:18,336 THAT GLOW, THAT'S MY SOUL SISTER BACK THERE SUPPORT MEG, 446 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:19,921 YOU KNOW. 447 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,758 I GOT THE LITTLE FLOWERS, I'VE GOT SOME BOOKS SET UP HERE. 448 00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:25,802 >> Stephen: DON'T GET TOO USED TO COVID BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO 449 00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:30,057 COME OUT OF IT SOME DAY, I JUST KNOW IT. 450 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,433 HOW HAVE YOU BEEN PASSING THE TIME? 451 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:34,061 HOW HAVE YOU BEEN HANDLING IT? 452 00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:36,938 >> LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, YOU KNOW, UPS AND DOWNS. 453 00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:44,321 BUT, I MEAN, I'VE FOUND THE PAIN IN IT, HAVING TO TURN INTO A -- 454 00:22:44,404 --> 00:22:50,744 THE CHEF, THE HANDYMAN, THE YOU GOT TO FIX EVERYTHING, YOU'VE 455 00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:54,164 GOT TO FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT, COOK EVERYTHING, CLEAN 456 00:22:54,247 --> 00:22:57,000 EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW, YOU JUST HAVE TO TURN INTO EVERY WOMAN OR 457 00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:59,628 EVERY MAN OR, YOU KNOW, YOUR ROLES HAVE CHANGED. 458 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,339 WHATEVER YOU DO IN THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU HAD TO, LIKE, TAKE 459 00:23:02,422 --> 00:23:04,466 OVER AND JUST DO EVERYTHING. 460 00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:09,846 BUT, AT THE SAME TIME, IT WAS, LIKE, ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL 461 00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:12,182 SPRINGS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. 462 00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:15,894 >> Stephen: CRAZY. 463 00:23:15,977 --> 00:23:20,607 IN L.A., THE SKY WAS CLEAR, THE FLOWERS BLOOMED, THERE WERE 464 00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:24,653 HUNDREDS OF BUTTERFLIES AROUND MY HOUSE FLYING IN FROM MEXICO, 465 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:25,278 YOU KNOW. 466 00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:27,823 IT WAS A VERY BIZARRE TIME. 467 00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:31,827 YOU KNOW, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL AT THE SAME TIME. 468 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,663 THE COYOTES WERE COMING OUT EARLY. 469 00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,624 ( LAUGHTER ) WE GOOD? 470 00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:41,211 I'M, LIKE, NO, YOU'RE NOT GOOD, AND DON'T THINK I WON'T SPRAY 471 00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:42,504 YOU WITH THIS COYOTE SPRAY, YOU KNOW. 472 00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:46,842 BUT THEY STILL -- IT WAS, LIKE, SO NATURAL, THERE WERE NO 473 00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:51,847 PEOPLE, THERE WERE NO CARS, THERE WERE NO PLANES AND NOISE 474 00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,891 AND IT WAS JUST VERY STRANGE, YOU KNOW. 475 00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:59,813 IT WAS JUST SO MUCH LOSS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME AS THIS 476 00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:03,859 WEIRD NATURE'S BUTTE GOING ON, YOU KNOW. 477 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:06,319 SO -- BUT IT WAS, YOU KNOW, IT IS WHAT IT IS. 478 00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:09,197 WE'VE JUST GOT TO STAY STRONG. 479 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,867 KEKEEP OUR HEADS UP. 480 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,661 >> Stephen: WELL, WE'RE TIPTOEING BACK TO CERTAIN 481 00:24:14,744 --> 00:24:16,872 ASPECTS OF NORMALITY NOW. 482 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:20,584 LAST NIGHT, YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY, THERE WAS THE, YOU KNOW, LAST 483 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:25,422 NIGHT OF THE EPIC TV EVENT, LOT OF DRAMA, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE 484 00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:31,887 TUNED IN, AND THAT'S JUST THE EQUALIZER, YOUR NEW SHOW ON CBS, 485 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:33,054 8:00 P.M. SUNDAY NIGHTS. 486 00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:35,891 BUT BEFORE THAT, BEFORE THE WORLD PREMIERE OF THAT, WHICH 487 00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:42,898 WE'LL GET TO IN JUST A MOMENT, THERE WAS THE SUPER BOWL. 488 00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:44,566 YOU HAVE AN EXPENSE I'VE NEVER HAD. 489 00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:49,946 YOU'VE PERFORMED AT THREE SUPER BOWLs, INCLUDING IN ONE OF THE 490 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,866 HALFTIME SHOWS IN 1998. 491 00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:53,950 >> YES. 492 00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:55,243 >> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT ROOM FEEL LIKE? 493 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:57,621 OBVIOUSLY THE WEEKEND HAD A ROOM TO PLAY, BUT WHAT DOES THAT FEEL 494 00:24:57,704 --> 00:24:59,915 LIKE TO BE THERE AT THE SUPER BOWL? 495 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:02,751 >> HONESTLY, IT IS LIKE NO OTHER FEELING IN THE WORLD. 496 00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:08,298 I MEAN, I THINK MOST HIP-HOP ARTISTS WOULD LIKEN IT TO 497 00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:11,718 PLAYING MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, YOU KNOW, BUT, OTHER THAN THAT, 498 00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:14,930 THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN COMPARE TO IT. 499 00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:18,558 THERE IS JUST THIS ENERGY THAT IS PALPABLE. 500 00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:23,313 THERE ARE USUALLY THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. 501 00:25:23,396 --> 00:25:25,899 YOU KNOW, THE TEAM, YOU COULD SEE THE TEAM OUT THERE, AND THEY 502 00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:28,985 LOOK NERVOUS, THEY LOOK EXCITED, THEY LOOK LIKE THEY WANT TO, 503 00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:36,326 LIKE, GO TO THE BATHROOM ONE MORE TIME BEFORE THE GAME 504 00:25:36,409 --> 00:25:40,413 STARTS, AND SOME LOOK LIKE THEY CAN'T WAIT, THEY'RE ITCHING, 505 00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:41,581 CAN'T STAND STILL. 506 00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:44,918 >> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT YOU RIGHT BEFORE YOU START TO 507 00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:46,795 PERFORM, WHAT IS THAT FEELING LIKE? 508 00:25:46,878 --> 00:25:48,296 A LITTLE PRESSURE. 509 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,590 >> I CAN'T STAND STILL, I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO GO TO THE 510 00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:52,801 BATHROOM ONE MORE TIME. 511 00:25:52,884 --> 00:26:00,767 YOU KNOW, IT FEELS LIKE -- YOU FEEL ALMOST THIS SORT OF 512 00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:04,813 REVERENCE, IN A WAY, BECAUSE YOU NOT ONLY WANT TO ROCK THIS SONG 513 00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:07,649 OR WHATEVER PERFORMANCE YOU'RE GOING TO DO, BUT YOU FEEL LIKE 514 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:12,028 AN AMERICAN AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DOING IT IN FRONT OF THE 515 00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:15,615 WORLD, AND, SO, YOU JUST WANT TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN DO, AND YOU 516 00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:19,661 KNOW THAT THESE TWO TEAMS HAVE COMPETED AND GONE THROUGH SO 517 00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:22,163 MUCH TO GET TO THIS POINT. 518 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:26,960 THIS IS A CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, A WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, AND YOU 519 00:26:27,043 --> 00:26:31,589 ARE PLAYING ON A WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP STAGE. 520 00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:33,842 SO IT'S LIKE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE STARING 521 00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:38,346 AT YU, SO YOU'VE GOT TO KIND OF LIKE -- YOU'VE GOT TO GET IN THE 522 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:39,723 GAME YOURSELF. 523 00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:43,351 YOU'VE GOT TO STEP UP AND SHOW UP, AND I GOT TO TELL YOU, THE 524 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:44,269 PERFORMANCES WERE UNBELIEVABLE. 525 00:26:44,352 --> 00:26:47,564 I WAS SO BLOWN AWAY, AND I WAS SO EXCITED. 526 00:26:47,647 --> 00:26:51,026 MY FAVORITE PART IS ALWAYS THE FLYOVER, THOUGH. 527 00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:52,527 >> Stephen: SURE. 528 00:26:52,610 --> 00:26:56,698 YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU SING YOUR SONG, AND THEN EVERYONE'S 529 00:26:56,781 --> 00:27:00,368 STANDING THERE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THESE PLANES JUST FLY 530 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:03,997 OVER AND YOU CAN FEEL THE RATTLE. 531 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,248 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 532 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:09,044 YOU ALWAYS SEE THIS STUFF ON TV, YOU NEVER USUALLY GET TO SEE THE 533 00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:13,089 PLANES WE'RE ACTUALLY PAYING FOR, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 534 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,717 SO TO SEE THEM FLY OVER YOU SO CLOSE, AND DEPENDING ON THE 535 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,844 YEAR, MAYBE THE BLUE ANGELS. 536 00:27:17,927 --> 00:27:21,723 IT WAS, LIKE, THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF PLANES AT THIS SUPER 537 00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:23,558 BOWL. 538 00:27:23,641 --> 00:27:25,060 SO IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING. 539 00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:26,561 IT'S REALLY REALLY JUST SO MUCH FUN. 540 00:27:26,644 --> 00:27:28,897 >> Stephen: BUT AS INTERESTING AS IT WAS, OBVIOUSLY IT WAS JUST 541 00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:35,445 THE OPENING ACT FOR "THE EQUALIZER" LAST NIGHT. 542 00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:39,240 I THINK IT GAME ON AT 10:30 LAST NIGHT. 543 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:44,245 NOW, THIS IS THE NEW CBS SERIES, YOUR FRIEND DENZEL WASHINGTON 544 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:48,583 MOST RECENTLY PLAYED THIS PART IN THE MOVIES. 545 00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:49,918 >> RIGHT. 546 00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:52,754 >> Stephen: HAS HE GIVEN YOU ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO PLAY "THE 547 00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:56,591 EQUALIZER" OR IS HE PREPARED TO BE THE SECOND BEST EQUALIZER? 548 00:27:56,674 --> 00:27:59,761 >> I DON'T THINK DENZEL WILL BE THE SECOND BEST ANYTHING 549 00:27:59,844 --> 00:28:04,557 ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, AND IF HE DOES, I WOULD BE HIGHLY 550 00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:05,767 DISAPPOINTED. 551 00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:06,768 >> Stephen: THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE HIS SON SUCH A GOOD 552 00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:09,771 ACTOR BECAUSE HIS SON IS A REALLY OOD ACTOR. 553 00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:12,607 >> YEAH, THAT'S HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. 554 00:28:12,690 --> 00:28:16,319 YOU SUPPOSED -- THE LITTLE ONE IS SUPPOSED TO KNOCK YOU OFF 555 00:28:16,403 --> 00:28:17,445 THAT THRONE. 556 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:23,118 YEAH, HE'S CLIPPING AT THOSE HEELS, BUT HE'S STILL GOT A 557 00:28:23,201 --> 00:28:24,369 LITTLE WAYS TO GO. 558 00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:29,290 YOU KNOW, DENZEL IS BY FAR ONE TO HAVE THE BEST ACTORS EVER ON 559 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:34,587 THE PLANET, AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST -- THIS IS A DIFFERENT 560 00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:35,964 EQUALIZER. 561 00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:38,633 I MEAN, WHAT HE GETS TO DO IN THE MOVIES IS WAY DIFFERENT THAN 562 00:28:38,716 --> 00:28:42,679 WHAT I GET TO DO ON NETWORK TELEVISION EVERY WEEK. 563 00:28:42,762 --> 00:28:44,806 HE DEFINITELY SET THE BAR FOR ME, SO THANKS A LOT, BRO, YOU 564 00:28:44,889 --> 00:28:47,308 KNOW, I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. 565 00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:54,816 >> Stephen: FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW, YOU'RE EX C.I.A., 566 00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:56,484 RIGHT? 567 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:57,944 >> YES, A FORMER C.I.A. 568 00:28:58,027 --> 00:29:00,447 OPERATIVE WHO DECIDES THEY NO LONGER -- THEY HAVE BEEN BURNED 569 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:05,827 AND THEIR TEAM HAS BEEN KILLED AND THEY NO LONGER WANT TO WORK 570 00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:09,706 FOR THE C.I.A., THEY DON'T WANT TO DO THINGS FOR POWERFUL PEOPLE 571 00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:14,461 WITH MONEY WHO TREAT -- YOU KNOW, WHO SHE FEELS NOW TREATS 572 00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:18,882 REGULAR PEOPLE LIKE PAWNS AND, YOU KNOW, THAT THEY'RE LIVES 573 00:29:18,965 --> 00:29:22,844 DON'T MATTER, AND SHE'S TIRED OF USING HER SKILLS TO SERVICE 574 00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:29,225 THESE MISSIONS THAT SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW, JUST WRITES AWAY 575 00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:31,352 SOMEONE'S LIFE WITH A STROKE OF A PEN. 576 00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:34,856 SO SHE DECIDES SHE'S GOING TO USE HER EXPERTISE TO HELP THE 577 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:37,650 "EVERY MAN," YOU KNOW, THE EVERYDAY PERSON. 578 00:29:37,734 --> 00:29:39,819 >> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS CLIP WE HAVE 579 00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:41,529 HERE? 580 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,865 >> YES, I THINK, IN THIS CLIP -- NOW THERE IS A FRIEND OF HEARSE 581 00:29:43,948 --> 00:29:49,746 PLAYED BY CHRIS NOTHE WHO IS KIND OF IN AND OUT, AND THEY'RE 582 00:29:49,829 --> 00:29:54,542 GOOD FRIENDS AND SHE KIND OF EXPLAINS TO HIM WHERE SHE'S 583 00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:55,752 COMING FROM AND WHY SHE CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT. 584 00:29:55,835 --> 00:29:56,753 >> Stephen: JIM. 585 00:29:56,836 --> 00:30:00,882 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? 586 00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:02,926 >> GET A JOB AT STARBUCKS. 587 00:30:03,009 --> 00:30:08,223 GET THE FREE COFFEE, JOIN THE P.T.A. 588 00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:09,766 >> BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A PEOPLE PERSON, RIGHT? 589 00:30:09,849 --> 00:30:13,895 OR YOU COULD COME WORK FOR ME. 590 00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:16,689 >> BABY SITTING BILLIONAIRES AND OIL COMPANIES. 591 00:30:16,773 --> 00:30:20,443 >> PRIVATE SECURITY IS JUST LIKE WORKING FOR THE C.I.A. EXCEPT IT 592 00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:21,903 PAYS A LOT BETTER. 593 00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:26,032 OH, HELL, IT'S ALL THE SAME CHESS BOARD, YOU KNOW THAT. 594 00:30:26,115 --> 00:30:29,202 >> WELL, SEE, THAT'S THE PROBLEM RIGHT THERE -- EVERYBODY'S 595 00:30:29,285 --> 00:30:30,411 PLAYING CHESS. 596 00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:32,455 NOBODY'S THINKING ABOUT THE LIVING, BREATHING PIECES THAT WE 597 00:30:32,539 --> 00:30:33,790 SACRIFICE ALONG THE WAY. 598 00:30:33,873 --> 00:30:36,793 YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, IT'S NOT 599 00:30:36,876 --> 00:30:41,589 THE THINGS I'VE DONE THAT KEEP ME UP, IT'S THE PEOPLE I 600 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:45,927 COULDN'T SAVE. 601 00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:48,054 >> THE PEOPLE... 602 00:30:48,137 --> 00:30:50,807 >> Stephen: WELL, QUEEN LATIFAH, THANKS FOR BEING 603 00:30:50,890 --> 00:30:51,683 HERE. 604 00:30:51,766 --> 00:30:52,892 GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 605 00:30:52,976 --> 00:30:55,895 >> LISTEN, KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY YOU 606 00:30:55,979 --> 00:30:59,440 TALK ABOUT POLITICS, THE WAY YOU MAKE US LAUGH. 607 00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:02,944 YOU STILL GIVE US THE MUSIC, AND YOU'RE GOOD PEOPLE. 608 00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:06,739 SO KEEP STANDING UP. 609 00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:09,742 >> Stephen: YOU'RE VERY KIND AND WE'LL BE TUNING IN TO YOU 610 00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:11,828 EXACTLY SUNDAYS AT 8:00 P.M. 611 00:31:11,911 --> 00:31:14,664 HERE ON THE CBS TELEVISION NETWORK. 612 00:31:14,747 --> 00:31:15,915 IT'S QUEEN LATIFAH, EVERYBODY. 613 00:31:15,999 --> 00:31:19,919 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE STAR OF THE GOLDEN GLOBE 614 00:31:20,003 --> 00:31:26,092 NOMINATED MOVIE "MINARI" STEVEN YEUN. 615 00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:38,021 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 616 00:31:38,104 --> 00:31:39,647 WELCOME BACK. 617 00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:43,818 MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "THE WALKING DEAD," 618 00:31:43,901 --> 00:31:47,113 "OKJA", AND "BURNING." 619 00:31:47,196 --> 00:31:47,864 HIS LATEST FILM IS "MINARI." 620 00:31:55,913 --> 00:32:03,838 >> EVIE -- ( SPEAKING IN A FOREIGN 621 00:32:03,921 --> 00:32:07,842 LANGUAGE ) WHOO! 622 00:32:07,925 --> 00:32:14,891 >> WHOO! 623 00:32:14,974 --> 00:32:17,518 WHOO OOOOOOO! 624 00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:20,021 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," STEVEN YEUN. 625 00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:21,689 HEY, STEVEN. 626 00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:23,066 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 627 00:32:23,149 --> 00:32:24,984 >> HEY, STEPHEN, THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. 628 00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:26,152 THIS IS SO COOL. 629 00:32:26,235 --> 00:32:29,656 >> Stephen: ONE THING WE HAVE IN COMMON BESIDES OUR NAME, 630 00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:31,991 PEOPLE OUT THERE OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA YOU AND I BOTH WORKED AT 631 00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:38,498 THE SECOND CITY IN CHICAGO. 632 00:32:38,581 --> 00:32:42,543 YOU WERE THE NATIONAL TOURING COMPANY, RIGHT? 633 00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:46,047 >> YEAH, I GOT A BRIEF STINT AT THE TOURING COMPANY. 634 00:32:46,130 --> 00:32:46,881 IT WAS AWESOME. 635 00:32:46,964 --> 00:32:49,092 I GOT TO LOOK AT YOUR IMAGE QUITE A BIT. 636 00:32:49,175 --> 00:32:53,054 >> Stephen: YOU LUCKY MAN. 637 00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:54,263 ( LAUGHTER ) A LOT OF PEOPLE DO COMEDY AND 638 00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:59,185 THEY END UP DOING NOTHING ELSE WITH THEIR CAREERS, BUT HOW THAT 639 00:32:59,268 --> 00:33:04,357 IS IMPROV OR IMPROV COMEDY EVEN HELPED YOU AS A DRAMATIC ACTOR? 640 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:11,739 >> YOU KNOW, IMPROV IS SUCH A GREAT FOUNDATION, I THINK, YOU 641 00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:17,912 KNOW, THE TENETS OF STAYING PRESENT, LISTENING, BEING 642 00:33:17,995 --> 00:33:21,416 SPONTANEOUS, THOSE ARE ALL REALLY GREAT FIRST TOOLS TO KIND 643 00:33:21,499 --> 00:33:26,295 OF LAY THE GROUNDWORK FOR ME AND, UM, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT THAT 644 00:33:26,379 --> 00:33:30,133 DIFFERENT THAN DRAMATIC ACTING. 645 00:33:30,216 --> 00:33:34,137 YOU KNOW, DRAMATIC ACT, YOU JUST DON'T HAVE TO BE WITTY AND FUNNY 646 00:33:34,220 --> 00:33:35,388 THE WHOLE TIME. 647 00:33:35,471 --> 00:33:36,973 THAT TAKES A WHOLE SECTION OF THE THING OFF. 648 00:33:37,056 --> 00:33:37,974 SOUTH NICE. 649 00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:38,850 >> Stephen: SOMEBODY GIVES YOU LINES. 650 00:33:38,933 --> 00:33:41,894 >> YEAH, AND THEY TELL YOU WHAT TO SAY. 651 00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:43,104 SO THAT'S ALSO EASIER. 652 00:33:43,187 --> 00:33:47,442 >> Stephen: YOU HAVE BEEN ACT AGO LONG TIME -- ACTING A LONG 653 00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:48,609 TIME. 654 00:33:48,693 --> 00:33:49,569 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN SEE THIS PHOTOGRAPH. 655 00:33:49,652 --> 00:33:50,778 THIS IS YOU IN KINDERGARTEN RIGHT THERE. 656 00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:53,114 WERE YOU ACTING EVEN AT THAT AGE? 657 00:33:53,197 --> 00:33:54,157 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 658 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,994 LOOKING BACK, I PROBABLY WAS. 659 00:33:58,077 --> 00:34:04,000 I JUST -- THAT IMAGE OF ME LANDING IN SASKATCHEWAN IN MY 660 00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:12,049 FIRST YEAR OF SCHOOL IN AMERICA, IN THE WEST, AND I -- I PROBABLY 661 00:34:12,133 --> 00:34:14,135 WENT INWARD FROM THAT POINT ON. 662 00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:18,097 NOT TO BE SAD ABOUT IT, BUT, YEAH, I THINK I STARTED, YOU 663 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:21,768 KNOW, THAT WAS MASK WORK STARTING THERE. 664 00:34:21,851 --> 00:34:25,313 >> Stephen: BECAUSE -- DID YOU HAVE ENGLISH AT THIS AGE? 665 00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:27,648 >> NO, I HAD NO ENGLISH. 666 00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:30,151 MY PARENTS TAUGHT ME THE FIRST ENGLISH WORDS I LEARNED WERE 667 00:34:30,234 --> 00:34:32,487 "DON'T CRY." 668 00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:34,238 >> Stephen: OH, MY GOSH. 669 00:34:34,322 --> 00:34:35,615 YEAH. 670 00:34:35,698 --> 00:34:36,074 >> Stephen: BECAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE SAID IT TO YOU? 671 00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:37,825 >> YEAH. 672 00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:41,871 >> Stephen: OH, MY GOD! 673 00:34:41,954 --> 00:34:47,001 ( LAUGHTER ) HOW DO YOU SAY "DON'T CRY" IN 674 00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:47,960 KOREAN? 675 00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,170 ( SPEAKING KOREAN ) >> Stephen: I NEED TO HEAR 676 00:34:49,253 --> 00:34:52,298 THAT RIGHT NOW, JUST THINKING OF THIS CHILD BEING TOLD NOT TO 677 00:34:52,381 --> 00:34:54,133 CRY. 678 00:34:54,217 --> 00:34:58,513 SO WHAT WAS -- WHEN DID YOU SAY TO YOURSELF, OKAY, I WANT TO DO 679 00:34:58,596 --> 00:35:01,307 THIS AS -- I WANT TO BE A PERFORMER, I WANT TO MAKE THIS 680 00:35:01,390 --> 00:35:02,809 MY LIFE? 681 00:35:02,892 --> 00:35:06,604 >> YOU KNOW, I WENT TO COLLEGE -- I WENT TO COLLEGE IN 682 00:35:06,687 --> 00:35:12,235 KALAMAZOO, KALAMAZOO COLLEGE, AND I GOT TO SEE MY IMPROV 683 00:35:12,318 --> 00:35:14,195 TROUPE AT MY SCHOOL THAT JORDAN KLEPPER WAS A PART OF. 684 00:35:14,278 --> 00:35:16,072 >> Stephen: OH, WOW. 685 00:35:16,155 --> 00:35:19,200 AND HE WASN'T THERE, UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN I WENT 686 00:35:19,283 --> 00:35:20,201 THERE. 687 00:35:20,284 --> 00:35:22,328 BUT I KIND OF GRAVITATE TOWARDS IT. 688 00:35:22,411 --> 00:35:25,331 I LOVE THE FREEDOM, I LOVE THE PERFORMANCE. 689 00:35:25,414 --> 00:35:29,043 HONESTLY, IT WAS -- I THINK IT WAS JUST LIKE YOU CAN BE 690 00:35:29,126 --> 00:35:33,214 ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE UP THERE AT ANY GIVEN TIME, AND PEOPLE 691 00:35:33,297 --> 00:35:34,090 WILL LAUGH IF YOU'RE FUNNY. 692 00:35:34,173 --> 00:35:37,093 SO I LIKE THE CHALLENGE OF THAT, I GUESS. 693 00:35:37,176 --> 00:35:44,058 >> Stephen: WELL, THE NEW FILM "MINARI" IS ABOUT -- IT'S A 694 00:35:44,141 --> 00:35:48,229 KOREAN-AMERICAN FAMILY THAT MOVES TO ARKANSAS IN PURSUIT OF 695 00:35:48,312 --> 00:35:49,897 THEIR DREAM. 696 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:58,239 WHWHAT DOES THE WORD MINARI MEAN WHAT'S THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THAT? 697 00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:01,868 >> MINARI, IT'S A PLANT. 698 00:36:01,951 --> 00:36:09,125 IT'S A PLANT THAT, IN ITS VERY PROFOUND WAY ISAAC, OUR 699 00:36:09,208 --> 00:36:16,132 DIRECTOR, LEE ISAAC CHUNG HAS THIS GREAT STORY ABOUT HOW HIS 700 00:36:16,215 --> 00:36:20,428 GRANDMOTHER PLANTED IT WHEN SHE CAME OVER TO JOIN THE FAMILY 701 00:36:20,511 --> 00:36:21,888 FARM. 702 00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:24,765 IT DIES IN THE FIRST YEAR AND THRIVES IN THE SECOND. 703 00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:26,642 SO YOU HARVEST THE SECOND GROWING. 704 00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:29,937 IT ACTUALLY PURIFIES THE WATER AND THE SOIL AROUND IT. 705 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:34,108 HE TOLD ME IN ALL THE YEARS THAT HIS DAD TRIED TO DO ALL THESE 706 00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:41,782 DIFFERENT TYPES OF CROPS, THE THING THAT GREW THE BEST WAS HIS 707 00:36:41,866 --> 00:36:44,493 GRANDMOTHER'S MINARI, THEY DIDN'T REEL HAVE TO KEEP AFTER 708 00:36:44,577 --> 00:36:45,953 IT, JUST DID IT ON ITS OWN. 709 00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:46,329 >> Stephen: WE'LL TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 710 00:36:46,412 --> 00:36:47,955 STICK AROUND. 711 00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:49,123 BACK WITH NOR STEVEN YEUN. 712 00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:04,889 ♪♪♪ 713 00:37:18,861 --> 00:37:20,029 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 714 00:37:22,406 --> 00:37:26,535 WE'RE BACK FOR THE STAR TO HAVE THE NEW FILM "MINARI," STEVEN 715 00:37:26,619 --> 00:37:28,162 YEUN. 716 00:37:28,245 --> 00:37:29,789 YOU GOT TO GO TO THE PREMIERE WITH YOUR OWN FATHER AND SIT 717 00:37:29,872 --> 00:37:31,207 NEXT TO HIM. 718 00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:32,667 >> MM-HMM. 719 00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:33,542 >> Stephen: HOW YOU PARENTS WITH YOU HAVING AN ACTING 720 00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:34,293 CAREER? 721 00:37:34,377 --> 00:37:35,670 ARE THEY FULLY SUPPORTIVE? 722 00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,297 >> WELL, NOW THEY, ARE YOU KNOW. 723 00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:39,799 NOW THEY ARE. 724 00:37:39,882 --> 00:37:44,512 BUT, I MEAN, IT WAS REALLY SURREAL TO, LIKE, HAVE -- YOU 725 00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:47,723 KNOW, AS A SECOND GENERATION KID, YOU KNOW, ALL YOU REALLY 726 00:37:47,807 --> 00:37:52,895 WANT TO DO IS TELL YOUR PARENTS THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THEM AND 727 00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:57,525 TELL THEM THE STORY THAT PERHAPS THEY CAN'T TELL THEMSELVES. 728 00:37:57,608 --> 00:38:00,695 AND, SO, TO BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS REALLY 729 00:38:00,778 --> 00:38:03,864 INCREDIBLE, YOU KNOW, TO READ THAT SCRIPT AND READ SOMETHING 730 00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:07,201 THAT YOU WANTED TO SAY YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND THEN TO BE ABLE 731 00:38:07,284 --> 00:38:12,540 TO MAKE IT AND TO BE ABLE TO TAKE IT TO SUNDANCE AND HAVE 732 00:38:12,623 --> 00:38:15,376 YOUR CAD SIT NEXT TO YOU WHILE YOU'RE WATCHING IT, THAT'S 733 00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:17,712 LIKE -- WHO GETS TO DO THAT, YOU KNOW? 734 00:38:17,795 --> 00:38:18,838 IT'S INCREDIBLE. 735 00:38:18,921 --> 00:38:19,547 >> Stephen: THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. 736 00:38:19,630 --> 00:38:20,923 THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. 737 00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:23,718 HOW DID YOU FIRST TELL HIM YOU WANTED TO BE AN ACTOR? 738 00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:26,470 WAS THERE SOME OTHER PLAN THEY HAD IN MIND FOR YOU? 739 00:38:26,554 --> 00:38:31,225 >> YEAH, I MEAN, I'M A KOREAN KID SO I HAD TO DO LAW SCHOOL OR 740 00:38:31,308 --> 00:38:35,938 MED SCHOOL OR ANY OTHER MORE SCHOOL THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE 741 00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:37,398 WITH. 742 00:38:37,481 --> 00:38:42,737 BBUT I JUST BROKE MY PARENTS DOW EARLY, JUST DEFIED THEM FROM AN 743 00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:43,904 EARLY AGE. 744 00:38:43,988 --> 00:38:47,867 ONCE I TOLD THEM I WANTED TO MOVE TO CHICAGO FOR IMPROV, THEY 745 00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:51,078 ACTUALLY LET ME MOVE AS LONG AS I WOULD GET A JOB. 746 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:58,252 I GOT A JOB DOING INSIDE SALES AT A I.T. TECH CONSULTING FIRM, 747 00:38:58,335 --> 00:39:03,257 AND I PROMPTLY LEFT A MONTH AFTER THEY FOUND OUT I WAS 748 00:39:03,340 --> 00:39:05,885 BLOGGING ABOUT HOW STRANGE IT WAS ON THE INSIDE, AND THAT WAS 749 00:39:05,968 --> 00:39:07,428 NOT A GOOD LOOK FOR ME. 750 00:39:07,511 --> 00:39:09,805 SO LEARNING LESSONS. 751 00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:12,808 >> Stephen: I THINK QUITTING YOUR DAY JOB IS THE BEST 752 00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:17,772 POSSIBLE THING YOU CAN DO AS AN IMPROV COMEDIAN BECAUSE YOU'VE 753 00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:19,774 GOT TO CUT THE SAFETY ROPE AND JUST -- 754 00:39:19,857 --> 00:39:20,608 >> YOU DO. 755 00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:23,944 >> Stephen: YEAH. 756 00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:27,907 WELL, THAT'S THE ADVICE WE HAVE FOR ALL YOU YOUNG PEOPLE OUT 757 00:39:27,990 --> 00:39:32,620 THERE -- TAKE ENORMOUS RISKS WITH YOUR LIFE, IT WORKS OUT. 758 00:39:32,703 --> 00:39:35,998 TWO OUT OF TWO TIMES, IT WORKS. 759 00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:38,626 >> IT'S ALMOST LIKE IT HAPPENS 100% OF THE TIME. 760 00:39:38,709 --> 00:39:42,963 >> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT. 761 00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:47,927 WELL, IS IT MINARI, IS THAT HOW YOU SAY IT? 762 00:39:48,010 --> 00:39:50,971 >> YEA, "MINARI" >> STEPHEN: "MINARI" WILL BE IN 763 00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:55,101 SELECT THEATERS THIS FRIDAY AND AVAILABLE ON DEMAND FEBRUARY 764 00:39:55,184 --> 00:39:55,684 26TH. 765 00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:56,185 STEVEN YEUN, EVERYBODY! 766 00:39:56,268 --> 00:39:56,644 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 767 00:39:56,727 --> 00:39:58,521 THANKS, STEVEN. 768 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:10,908 >> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW." 769 00:40:10,991 --> 00:40:15,329 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE JOHN OLIVER PLUS MUSICAL 770 00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:16,163 GUEST, INGRID ANDRESS. 771 00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:21,669 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, GOODNIGHT. 772 00:40:21,752 --> 00:40:22,211 ♪♪♪ Captioning sponsored by CBS 773 00:40:26,632 --> 00:40:29,677 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 774 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,764 access.wgbh.org Captioning sponsored by CBS