>> TODAY, THE OUTGOING PRESIDENT BECAME THE FIRST PRESIDENT IN
HISTORY TO BE IMPEACHED TWICE.
>> PRESIDENT TRUMP NOW THE FIRST AMERICAN PRESIDENT TO BE
IMPEACHED TWICE.
>> LESS THAN A WEEK BEFORE PRESIDENT TRUMP LEAVES OFFICE,
HE HAS EARNED THE DISTINCTION OF BEING THE ONLY PRESIDENT WHO HAS
BEEN IMPEACHED TWICE.
♪♪♪ >> IMPEACHED TWICE?
I CANNOT TELL A LIE -- THAT GUY MUST SUCK!
>> HE'S A DOUCHE WHO WILL LIVE IN INFAMY.
>> HEY, NIXON'S PRETTY SILENT ON THIS.
>> I'M JUST LIVING THE DREAM.
OLD DICKIE'S NO LONGER AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST.
HIT IT, FRANKIE!
♪♪♪ >> ANNOUNCER: IT'S "A LATE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT, STEPHEN WELCOMES SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS AND
MUSICAL GUEST FINNEAS, FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMEIN'.
AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING
IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
HOPE YOU'RE STAYING WARM.
I HAVE A NICE TOASTY CUP OF COFFEE.
WANT US TO PRI AROUND THE DESSERT TRAY?
YOU GOOD?
I'M GOING TO DROP THIS RIGHT HERE WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
NO RUSH.
I'M HERE ALL NIGHT.
LIKE ALL OF YOU, I'M DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT THE DISEASE
SWEEPING OVER THE COUNTRY: FASCISM.
AND COVID.
BUT ONE PLAGUE AT A TIME.
THE HOUSE DID THEIR PART TO INOCULATE DEMOCRACY YESTERDAY,
WHEN THEY IMPEACHED THE PRESIDENT.
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IN TONIGHT'S
EDITION OF: "DON AND THE GIANT IMPEACH 2:
GO FAST, WE'RE FURIOUS."
>> I'M A RACIST!
WHAT A SCHMUCK I WAS.
I'M STUCK!
>> Stephen: HOW LONG DOES HE STAY UP THERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
DOES THIS GO ON INDEFINITELY IF I DON'T TALK?
OKAY.
I ASSUMED HE WOULD LEAVE!
AFTER HE INCITED THE ASSAULT ON OUR NATION'S CAPITOL, IT ONLY
TOOK A WEEK FOR THE HOUSE TO IMPEACH THE PRESIDENT.
NANCY PELOSI EXPLAINED THE RUSH: >> HE MUST GO.
HE IS A CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER TO THE NATION THAT WE ALL LOVE.
>> STEPHEN: ALL LOVE?
NICE SENTIMENT, BUT I THINK IN TED CRUZ'S CASE, HE DOESN'T SO
MUCH LOVE THE COUNTRY AS STALK IT FROM A BEHIND TREE IN THE
FRONT YARD.
YES, THE MOST POWERFUL MAN ON EARTH IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE, A
HABITUAL LIAR, PRONE TO FITS OF RAGE, AND HAS ASSEMBLED A
PRIVATE ARMY OF VIOLENT FOLLOWERS WHO WILL DO ANYTHING
HE COMMANDS.
EVERY MOMENT HE STAYS IN OFFICE PUTS LIVES AT RISK.
SO, RIGHT AFTER THE VOTE, SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL
ANNOUNCED THERE WOULDN'T BE A TRIAL UNTIL AFTER JANUARY 20.
THAT'S WHERE DEMOCRATS MESSED UP.
IF THEY REALLY WANTED TO FETE RID OF HIM,
INSTEAD OF IMPEACHING THE PRESIDENT, THEY SHOULD HAVE
NOMINATED HIM TO THE SUPREME COURT.
MCCONNELL WOULD HAVE HAD HIM IN A BLACK ROBE THE NEXT DAY!
THERE'S A LOT THAT'S STILL UP IN THE AIR ABOUT HOW THE SENATE IS
GOING TO HANDLE THIS.
SUCH AS, HOW LONG THE TRIAL WILL BE, WHEN IT WILL BE HELD, AND
HOW IT WILL BE STRUCTURED.
WE'RE LEAVING A MADMAN IN OFFICE BECAUSE OF LOGISTICS?
LOOK, THE SENATE.
THERE'S ABOUT 10,000 UNEMPLOYED WEDDING PLANNERS IN THIS COUNTRY
RIGHT NOW, AND I'M SURE THEY'D BE HAPPY TO PUT THEIR SKILLS TO
GOOD USE.
WE COULD HAVE THIS GUY IMPEACHED BY FRIDAY, WITH PHOTOGRAPHS OF
THE WHOLE FAMILY, WITH AMAZING CENTERPIECES, A COCKTAIL HOUR
WITH PASSED HORS D'OEUVRES, AND A BAND THAT CAN PLAY "UPTOWN
FUNK," WHETHER YOU WANT THEM TO OR NOT.
GONNA GET YA!
MCCONNELL'S INACTION WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY ALLOW THE PRESIDENT TO
SERVE OUT HIS FINAL DAYS IN OFFICE.
SCARY THOUGHT, BUT LETTING THE PRESIDENT SERVE OUT HIS LAST
SIX DAYS MEANS... ONE FINAL INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK!
I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE PRESIDENT UNVEILS ALL THOSE BRIDGES AND
TUNNELS HE'S BUILT IN SECRET.
PLUS, HAVE TO IMAGINE THIS IS THE WEEK HE REVEALS HIS PLAN FOR
HEALTHCARE.
I'VE HEARD IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLAN.
A MUCH, MUCH BETTER PLAN THAT THAN OBAMACARE.
AND CHEAPER, TOO.
EVERYONE'S GOING TO LOVE IT, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WITH
PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS.
SIX DAYS OUGHT TO BE ENOUGH, RIGHT?
>> WE'RE SIGNING A HEALTHCARE PLAN WITHIN TWO WEEKS.
>> STEPHEN: SO CLOSE.
BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.
BY WHICH I MEAN, PLEASE DON'T LET THERE BE A NEXT TIME.
GETTING IMPEACHED FOR A SECOND TIME SEEMS TO HAVE GOTTEN HIS
ATTENTION, ALONG WITH NEWS THAT ONCE HE LEAVES OFFICE, HE COULD
BE ARRESTED AND CHARGED WITH INCITING A RIOT.
AMONG OTHER THINGS.
SO, LAST NIGHT, HE WENT ON THE INTERNET AND TRIED TO ASSURE THE
NATION THAT HE WAS A MAN OF PEACE, AND HE DID NOT ASSURE US.
>> I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THAT THERE MUST BE NO VIOLENCE, NO LAW
BREAKING, AND NO VANDALISM OF ANY KIND.
>> >> STEPHEN: YES, HE CANNOT EMPHASIZE THAT THERE WOULD
BE NO VIOLENCE... BECAUSE HE'D LIKE TO SEE A LITTLE VIOLENCE.
IT'S BEEN JUST OVER A WEEK SINCE THE VIOLENT INSURRECTIONISTS
ATTACKED THE CAPITOL, BUT THE DANGER IS FAR FROM OVER.
TODAY, FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT WARNED THAT DOMESTIC EXTREMISTS
ARE LIKELY MORE EMBOLDENED TO CARRY OUT ATTACKS ON JOE BIDEN'S
INAUGURATION AND THROUGHOUT 2021.
NO!
2021 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE YEAR THINGS GOT BETTER!
COME ON, TERRORISTS!
IN A COUPLE MONTHS, YOU COULD BE HUGGING YOUR GRANDMAS AND GOING
BACK TO WATERPARKS!
THAT'S WAY MORE FUN THAN BEING HOG-TIED IN THE CELL NEXT TO
DZHOKHAR TSARNAEV.
2021 IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE YEAR OF THE SEA SHANTY.
THEY'RE FUN!
SONGS!
THE FASCIST THREAT IS GROWING.
ACCORDING TO THE F.B.I., ONLINE CHATTER ABOUT MORE VIOLENT
DEMONSTRATIONS "IS OFF THE CHARTS RIGHT NOW."
THAT'S RIGHT, THE THREATS ARE CHART-TOPPING!
YOU CAN EXPERIENCE ALL THE HITS AT HOME WITH, "NOW THAT'S WHAT I
CALL THE FOUL HARVEST OF AMERICA'S RACIST PAST!
VOLUME 244."
BECAUSE OF THESE VIOLENT, ANTI-AMERICAN NUMBNUTS, THIS
YEAR'S INAUGURATION IS LESS DEMOCRATIC CELEBRATION AND MORE
MILITARY OCCUPATION.
WHEN BIDEN TAKES THE OATH, HE'LL BE GUARDED BY MORE THAN 20,000
NATIONAL GUARD MEMBERS.
HOLY TACTICAL PANTS!
IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE TELLING YOUR RIOTERS IN CAMO FROM THE GOOD
GUYS IN CAMO, THE NATIONAL GUARD WILL BE THE ONES WITHOUT THE
CONFEDERATE FLAGS.
I HOPE.
A PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MOMENT FOR
AMERICANS TO WITNESS A PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF POWER.
INSTEAD, THANKS TO THE PRESIDENT AND HIS BLOOD-THIRSTY GOONS, THE
NATIONAL MALL WILL BE CLOSED ON INAUGURATION DAY.
IS THERE ANY CHANCE THIS IS ALL JUST A LONG CON TO MAKE SURE
THAT SOMEBODY ELSE HAD A SMALLER INAUGURATION CROWD THAN HIS?
THE LOCKDOWN EXTENDS ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP, BECAUSE AFTER
DECADES OF BEING KNOWN AS THE SENATOR WHO RIDES THE TRAIN TO
THE CAPITOL, PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN WILL NO LONGER TAKE THE
AMTRAK TO WASHINGTON NEXT WEEK TO BE SWORN IN.
HOWEVER, TO MAKE UP FOR IT, JUSTICE ROBERTS WILL BE WEARING
A CONDUCTORS HAT, AND UTTER THE PHRASE, "NEXT STOP, POTUS
JUNCTION.
ALL ABOARD!
TOOT-TOOT."
IT'S NO SURPRISE THAT PEOPLE IN THE PRESIDENT'S INNER CIRCLE ARE
ATTEMPTING TO DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM THE POISONOUS
POTUS, INCLUDING POLITICAL POWER PAIR JARED AND IVANKA, SEEN HERE
AFTER BEING SUMMONED BY A HAUNTED MUSIC BOX.
THE PRESIDENT IS APPARENTLY ANGRY AT IVANKA AND JARED OVER
THEIR PLAN TO ATTEND PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN'S
INAUGURATION.
THE PRESIDENT IS ANGRY AT IVANKA?
IT'S PROBABLY NOT SERIOUS.
IT'S JUST A "HE WISHES THEY WERE LOVERS" QUARREL.
BUT THE PRESIDENT'S ANGER WORKED, BECAUSE SOON AFTER HIS
HISSY FIT, IVANKA CHANGED HER TUNE AND IS NOW NOT EXPECTED TO
ATTEND.
WHY WAS SHE EVER GOING TO ATTEND?
WELL, THERE'S A CHANCE THAT JAR-VANKA MIGHT'VE BEEN TRYING
TO GET AN INVITE TO AN EXCLUSIVE COUNTRY CLUB IN THEIR NEW
NEIGHBORHOOD, BECAUSE THEY RECENTLY BECAME OWNERS OF ONE OF
ONLY 29 RESIDENCES LOCATED ON INDIAN CREEK ISLAND, BUT HAVEN'T
YET JOINED THE COUNTRY CLUB THERE BECAUSE MANY MEMBERS ARE
OBJECTING, PARTICULARLY AFTER THE EVENTS AT THE CAPITOL.
YOU KNOW YOU'VE CROSSED A LINE WHEN EVEN THE BILLIONAIRE
COUNTRY CLUB TURNS YOU AWAY.
( RICH GUY VOICE ) "WE HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE
SOMEWHERE, NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A TEE TIME WITH SOME
FINE FELLOWS I MET ON JEFFREY EPSTEIN'S PLANE.
WE'RE GOING TO HUNT MY NEW CADDY WITH CROSSBOWS!"
FOUR!
HOW ABOUT SOME UNITY?
WHILE JARED AND IVANKA MIGHT BE ON THE OUTS WITH THE PRESIDENT,
THERE ARE STILL A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS WILLING TO GO
DOWN WITH THE SHIP, BECAUSE ERIC AND DON JR., ARE NOW SOME OF THE
ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE TALKING WITH HIM.
"DAD!
IT'S GOING TO BE JUST YOU AND ME AND WE'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER
FOREVER."
( SINGING ) "PEOPLE, LET ME TELL YOU 'BOUT
MY BEST FRIEND...
>> SING IT, DAD!
...HE'S A WARM HEARTED PERSON...
DADDY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" AND FOR THOSE OF YOU THINK YOU
COULDN'T DISLIKE JARED AND IVANKA MORE, WE HAVE AN
IMPORTANT UPDATE.
APPARENTLY, SECRET SERVICE ASSIGNED TO JARED AND IVANKA
WERE FORCED TO FIND ALTERNATE TOILETS AFTER THEY WERE
INSTRUCTED NOT TO USE ANY OF THE HALF-DOZEN BATHROOMS INSIDE THE
COUPLE'S HOUSE, AT THE FAMILY'S REQUEST.
ALTHOUGH I DO UNDERSTAND THE KUSHNERS' TOILETS MUST BE VERY
BUSY RIGHT NOW, WITH JARED AND IVANKA FLUSHING THEIR SOCIAL
LIVES AND POLITICAL FUTURES DOWN THEM.
FOR A WHILE, AGENTS WENT DOWN THE STREET TO A BATHROOM IN A
GARAGE AT BARACK AND MICHELLE'S OBAMA'S HOUSE.
THAT WAS GENEROUS OF THEM.
BUT THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S DETAIL BANNED THEM AFTER A
SECRET SERVICE SUPERVISOR FROM THE KUSHNER DETAIL LEFT AN
UNPLEASANT MESS IN THE OBAMA'S BATHROOM.
YOU MESSED UP BARACK OBAMA'S BATHROOM?
COME ON, THE MAN IS RETIRED.
HE'S LITERALLY TOO OLD FOR THIS ( BLEEP )!
AFTER THEIR RESTROOM PRIVILEGES WERE REVOKED AT THE OBAMA'S, THE
AGENTS ASSIGNED TO JARED AND IVANKA BEGAN DRIVING A MILE AWAY
TO USE A RESTROOM AT MIKE PENCE'S HOME.
OR AS THEY CODE-NAMED IT, "I AM DROPPING A #2 AT #2'S."
BUT SECRET SERVICE NEEDED A MORE PERMANENT PLACE TO ANSWER
NATURE'S CALL, SO SINCE SEPTEMBER 2017, THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN SPENDING $3,000 A MONTH-- MORE THAN
$100,000 TO DATE-- TO RENT A BASEMENT STUDIO, WITH A
BATHROOM, FROM A NEIGHBOR OF THE KUSHNER FAMILY.
$100,000?
THAT IS SOME EXPENSIVE CRAP.
WHICH, I HAVE TO SAY, IS REALLY ON-BRAND FOR IVANKA.
I WAS NOT A FAN OF THIS COUPLE BEFORE, BUT IT SEEMS
PARTICULARLY DOUCHEY OF JARED AND IVANKA NOT TO LET SECRET
SERVICE IN THEIR BATHROOMS.
I'M JUST SAYING, THESE ARE MEN AND WOMEN WHO LITERALLY WOULD
TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU.
THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS LET THEM TAKE A LEAK.
ONE GUY WHO'S DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO BE HANGING OUT WITH THE
PRESIDENT MUCH IS LAWYER AND MAN READING THE GOOGLE RESULTS FOR
RUDY GIULIANI, RUDY GIULIANI.
AFTER POTUS LOST THE ELECTION, RUDY CRISSCROSSED THE COUNTRY,
PINCHING OUT HIS ARGUMENTS IN COURT IN A DESPERATE EFFORT TO
OVERTURN THE LEGAL RESULTS OF THE ELECTION, WHICH ENDED WITH
ONE WIN AND 64 LOSSES.
ONE AND 64.
A RECORD KNOWN AS "THE KNICKS," I AM TOLD.
BY NOSE WHO FOLLOW SUCH THINGS.
BUT NOW, AND I KNOW IT'S HARD TO -- I'M MOSTLY INTO THE SEA
SHANTIES THESE DAYS.
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME OFF THAT?
JUST BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T ON THE SEA SHANTY TRAIN WHEN I WAS.
I WAS WAY AHEAD OF YOU ON THE SEA SHANTDY THING.
EVERYONE KNOWS 2021 IS THE YEAR OF THE SEA SHANTY.
COME ON, GRANDPA!
GET IN THE BOAT, WE'RE ROLLING OUT TO THE SLOOP AND GOING AFTER
THE SPERM WHALES.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY BUTTONS.
YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING AT THIS POINT.
JUST READ?
WOW!
MY APOLOGIES TO EVERYBODY.
BUT, NOW -- AND I KNOW IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, THE PRESIDENT HAS
TURNED ON RUDY, AND REFUSES TO PAY HIM FOR HIS LEGAL WORK.
SUCKS FOR GIULIANI.
NOW HE'S GOING TO HAVE MAKE MONEY ON THE SIDE, BOTTLING
UNCLE RUDY'S ORIGINAL SKULL SYRUP.
THE PRESIDENT IS SO SERIOUS ABOUT NOT PAYING HIS ATTORNEY
THAT HE HAS SAID HE MUST PERSONALLY APPROVE ANY
REIMBURSEMENTS FOR THE EXPENSES GIULIANI INCURRED WHILE
TRAVELING ON HIS BEHALF.
TRAVELING EXPENSES?
WELL, THERE'S NO WAY THE PRESIDENT'S PAYING FOR RUDY'S
GAS WHEN HE WAS ALREADY GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE.
( RUDY EXPELS GAS ) THOUGH I COULD UNDERSTAND
WANTING TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT RUDY'S EXPENSES, GIVEN THAT
SO FAR, HE'S SUBMITTED RECEIPTS FOR "DELTA BUSINESS
CLASS BRAND PLASTIC BOTTLE VODKA."
"UBER XL T-SHIRT THAT I SLEPT IN BEHIND THE RACETRACK," AND "PAY
PER VIEW PORN: OOPS!
ALL COUSINS!" ( LAUGHTER )
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS BERNIE SANDERS.
STICK AROUND.
THERE!
( SINGING )
♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK.
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.
♪♪♪ >> Jon: HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
>> Stephen: JON, ARE YOU AWARE THAT 2021 IS THE YEAR OF THE SEA
SHANTY?
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS!
WOW!
>> Stephen: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M THE ONE TELLING YOU, A
MSICAL GENIUS WITH HIS FINGER ON THE PULSE OF THE SCENE, AS WE
CALL IT, DOESN'T KNOW THAT THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE SEA SHANTY.
I HAVE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS!
I TOLD MY WHOLE FAMILY OVER THE CHRISTMAS BREAK.
DAD, YOU'RE CRAZY, GET OFF THE GROG AND COME BACK TO PORT.
NO ONE'S GOING TO LISTEN TO SEA SHAN'TIES AND NOW THEY'RE
BLOWING UP ONLINE.
>> Jon: I'VE GOT TO GET ON THAT.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ♪ ♪ THERE ONCE WAS A SHIP THAT PUT
TO SEA ♪ ♪ THE NAME WAS BELLY T.
SOON MAY THE WELL OMAN COME TO BRING THE SUGAR, TEA AND RUM ♪
♪ ONE DAY WHEN THE TONGUING IS DONE WE'LL TAKE OUR LEAVE AND
GO ♪ ♪♪♪
>> Jon: OH!
I LIKE THAT!
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
>> Jon: WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?
>> Stephen: WELLERMAN.
IT IS A 19th CENTURY NEW ZEALAND WHALING SONG.
WHALING SONGS ARE GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST, BEST, GREATEST, ALL
A CAPPELLA, A CAPPELLA, A CAPPELLA, TREMENDOUS, TAKE
YOUR CARS, DRUMS, MOOD, THROW IT IN THE TOILETTE, WHALING SONGS.
PLOND GUYS IN SWEATERS, IT'S GOING TO BE AMAZING.
>> Jon: I BET.
I SEE THE FASHION, ALREADY.
CHIC.
>> Stephen: 100%.
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: GOT ANYTHING NAUTICAL ON THOSE FINGERTIPS,
JON?
>> Jon: I LIKE THE WELLERMAN.
♪♪♪ ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: I'M AFRAID WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BERNIE
SANDERS NOW.
THANK THE SENATOR FOR STOPPING BY, WE'LL TALK TO HIM ANOTHER
TIME.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, SIR.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> STEPHEN: JOINING ME NOW IS A VERMONT SENATOR AND FORMER
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WHO HAS SPENT OVER 30 YEARS ADVOCATING
FOR PROGRESSIVE CAUSES.
PLEASE WELCOME SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS!
SENATOR, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> MY PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS SINCE DOMESTIC TERRORISTS
URGED ON BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES STORMED AND
VANDALIZED THE CAPITOL BUILDING.
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THIS ALL STARTED?
>> I WAS IN THE SENATE, PARTICIPATING IN THE DEBATE AS
TO WHETHER OR NOT WE CERTIFY BIDEN'S ELECTION AS PRESIDENT,
AND, STEPHEN, IT WAS CLEARLY TO ME ONE TO HAVE THE MORE
DEPRESSING AND MEMORABLE DAYS IN AMERICAN HISTORY CERTAINLY SINCE
I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN POLITICS TO BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE A
PRESIDENT WHO INCITED A RIOT WHICH CALLED FOR INSURRECTION
AND REALLY THREATENED THE WELL BEING OF MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE
AND SENATE.
IT WAS A FRIGHTENING AND AT THE PRESSING DAY.
>> Stephen: THE DAY WAS DEPRESSING BEFORE THE VIOLENT
ATTACK.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU HAD SO MANY MEMBERS TO HAVE THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY, ORIGINALLY BETWEEN 140 AND 150 REPUBLICANS
IN THE HOUSE, AND THEN AT A CERTAIN POINT AT THE BEGINNING
THERE WERE 13 REPUBLICANS IN THE SENATE WHO WERE ESSENTIALLY
SAYING THAT THE VOTES IN SEVERAL STATES WERE ILLEGITIMATE.
SO THAT ITSELF WAS ACTUALLY DEPRESSING TO SEE THAT KIND OF
RESISTANCE TO A FREE AND FAIR ELECTION.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE -- DID YOU SEE A DAWNING ON THE FACES TO HAVE
THE SENATORS AROUND YOU AS IT BECAME CLEAR THAT THIS WAS NOT A
PROTEST, THAT THIS WAS A RIOT?
>> WELL, THE TRUTH IS, IN MANY WAYS, WE WERE THE LAST TO KNOW
WHAT WAS GOING ON, AND IN ABOUT TEN SECONDS WE UNDERSTOOD HOW
ILL PREPARED, HOW HORRIFICALLY ILL PREPARED THE POLICE WERE,
THE DEGREE TO WHICH THEY WERE OVERWHELMED.
WHAT HE FIRST LEARNED, WE HEARD NOISE OUTSIDE, AND THEN,
SUDDENLY, IN THE MIDDLE OF A DEBATE, A POLICE OFFICER JUMPED
UP ON TO THE PODIUM, INTERRUPTED A SPEAKER AND SAID, YOU KNOW, WE
HAVE AN EMERGENCY SITUATION, WE THINK YOU WILL BE SAFEST HERE IN
THE SENATE CHAMBERS, STAY IN PLACE, DO NOT LEAVE THE CHAMBER.
AND THAT WAS, YOU KNOW, FRIGHTENING ENOUGH.
AND THEN WHAT WE HEARD A FEW MINUTES LATER, WHICH WAS I THINK
THE MOST FRIGHTENING MOMENT, IS THEY SAID, WELL, WE THINK THIS
SENATE CHAMBER, WHICH HAS MANY, MANY DOORS AND WINDOWS, MAY NOT
BE THE SAFEST PLACE.
WE'RE GOING TO ESCORT YOU TO ANOTHER LOCATION, WHICH TURNED
OUT TO BE IN THE HART OFFICE BUILDING, WHICH WAS MUCH EASIER
TO DEFEND.
SO, ALL IN ALL, THE BELIEF THAT THERE WERE PEOPLE WITHIN A FEW
FEET OF WHERE THE CHAMBER WAS, THREATENING TO DO DAMAGE NOT
ONLY TO THE VENUE BUT ALSO TO MEMBERS OF CONGRESS WAS
SOMETHING, CERTAINLY, THAT NONE OF US WILL FORGET.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG WERE YOU IN LOCKDOWN?
>> I THINK BETWEEN TWO AND THREE HOURS.
>> Stephen: WHO WERE YOU WITH?
IS IT PEOPLE SORT OF RANDOMLY ASSIGNED TO ROOMS?
>> NO, THIS WAS A LARGE HEARING ROOM IN HART.
IT WAS VIRTUALLY THE ENTIRE SENATE.
I WOULD GUESS OVER 90 MEMBERS WERE THERE.
THERE WERE A LOT OF STAFF THERE AND POLICE OFFICERS AS WELL.
>> Stephen WHAT WAS THE CONVERSATION?
WHAT WAS THE CONVERSATION LIKE BETWEEN MEMBERS OF THE SENATE IN
THERE, BECAUSE I IMAGINE YOU HAD SOME EMOTIONS RUNNING HIGH
TOWARD THE PEOPLE WHO HAD INCITED THIS MOB BY TELLING THE
BIG LIE.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: AND EVERY FASCIST MOVEMENT REQUIRES ELITES TO GIVE
CREDIBILITY TO THE FANTASIES OF THE MOB.
>> AND LET US BE VERY, VERY CLEAR -- AT THE ESSENCE OF THIS
CRISIS IS THE PERPETRATION OF THIS HUGE LIE THAT AN ELECTION,
WHICH BIDEN WON BY A FAIRLY HEALTHY MAJORITY, 7 MILLION MORE
VOTES THAN TRUMP, YOU HAD NOT ONLY TRUMP BUT A LOT OF
APOLOGISTS FOR HIM CLAIMING THAT HE REALLY -- THAT TRUMP REALLY
WON THE ELECTION.
AND, YOU KNOW, TRUST ME, THOSE ARE ISSUES THAT WERE HEATEDLY
DISCUSSED WITHIN THAT ROOM, NOT TO MENTION A REAL ANGER AT THE
SERGEANT OF ARMS AND THE CAPITOL POLICE LEADERSHIP WHO WERE SO
ILL PREPARED.
WE ARE THE LARGEST MILITARY IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD,
$740 BILLION A YEAR ON THE MILITARY, AND THE IDEA THAT WE
COULD NOT PROTECT THE UNITED STATES CAPITOL FROM A FEW
THOUSAND RIOTERS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK SENATOR SANDERS WHAT HE BELIEVES
SHOULD HAPPEN TO THOSE IN CONGRESS WHO HELPED FOMENT THIS
SEDITION.
A ♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK WITH SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS.
ER YOU SAID IN SEPTEMBER, YOU WARNED AS WE COUNT EVERY VOTE,
I'VE THING POSSIBLE MUST BE DONE TO PREVENT CHAOS, DISINFORMATION
AND, YES, EVEN VIOLENCE.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SENSE AT THIS POINT WHY, AS YOU SAY, THIS
TREMENDOUS FAILURE HAPPENED?
BECAUSE -- AND CHRISTOPHER WRAY SAID THE MOST DANGEROUS DOMESTIC
TERRORIST THREAT RIGHT NOW IS FROM WHITE SUPREMACIST GROUPS IN
THIS COUNTRY.
SO IT'S NOT LIKE PEOPLE WEREN'T WARNED.
>> NO, THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
ALL I CAN TELL YOU -- YOU KNOW, WE'RE HEARING DIFFERENT STORIES
FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE -- EITHER IT WAS A GO DESK AND HORRIFIC
FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND AND TO ANTICIPATE WHAT WAS HAPPENING --
I SPOKE TO A VERY HIGHER-UP GUY WHILE I WAS IN LOCKDOWN, AND HIS
RESPONSE WAS, WELL, WE JUST DIDN'T ANTICIPATE THIS.
REALLY?
WITH ALL OF YOUR INTELLIGENCE OPERATIONS, YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
WAS GOING ONLINE, YOU DIDN'T KNOW THE THREAT TO THE CAPITOL,
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT THE PRESIDENT WAS EGGING THESE
PEOPLE ON?
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT, REALLY?
SO A TREMENDOUS FAILURE OF LEADERSHIP, WHICH WILL BE
INVESTIGATED, AND WE WILL MAKE SURE THAT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.
>> Stephen: ALEXANDER HAMILTON WROTE IN FEDERALIST 27, THE HOPE
OF IMPUNITY IS A STRONG INCITEMENT TO SEDITION.
THE DREAD OF PUNISHMENT A PROPORTIONATELY STRONG
DISCOURAGEMENT TO IT.
ISN'T IT IMPORTANT THAT JUSTICE BE SWIFT AND THE HAMMER BE HARD?
>> WELL, THAT'S AMONG OTHER REASONS WHY THE HOUSE, IN RATHER
QUICK TIME, IMPEACHED TRUMP AND WHY HE MUST BE CONVICTED.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE ASK ME, THEY SAY, WHAT IS THE SENSE OF
IMPEACHING A GUY WHO HAS A WEEK LEFT IN HIS TERM, AND THERE'S A
LOT OF SENSE TO IT, AND THE SENSE IS THAT THIS PRESIDENT AND
ANYBODY ELSE WHO ENTERS THE OVAL OFFICE MUST UNDERSTAND THAT IF
YOU INCITE INSURRECTION AGAINST YOUR OWN GOVERNMENT FOR YOUR OWN
CHIEF POLITICAL PURPOSES, THAT WILL BE SEVERELY PUNISHED.
>> Stephen: I TRUST THAT THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT AND THE
F.B.I. IS TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY AND WILL USE ALL OF THE POWER AT
THEIR COMMAND TO BRING THE PEOPLE WHO DID THIS TO JUSTICE,
AND CERTAINLY NOTHING THEY DID WAS DEFENSIBLE, BUT WHAT ABOUT
PEOPLE LIKE JOSH HAWLEY AND TED CRUZ?
WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE MOE BROOKS, ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO
INCITED THIS CROWD, AS I SAID AND YOU AGREED, WITH THE BIG
LIE?
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A CONTROVERSIAL THING THAT THEY
INSPIRED THESE PEOPLE.
WHAT CAN BE DONE SO THAT NO GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL EVER DOES
THIS AGAIN AND, CERTAINLY, NO CROWD EVER DOES THIS AGAIN?
DOESN'T THERE HAVE -- SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE TO THEM, WHAT CAN
THE SENATE DO?
>> I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING WE'RE LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW.
WHAT HAS CONCERNED ME THE MOST, AND, AGAIN, I'M HEARING
ALLEGATIONS ON THESE HAVE TO BE INVESTIGATED, IS THAT THERE WERE
SOME MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE WHO ACTUALLY ESCORTED PEOPLE WHO
TURNED OUT TO BE RIOTERS THE DAY BEFORE THROUGH THE CAPITOL
PREMISES.
NOW, WHAT THE HELL THAT'S ABOUT, WE HAVE TO FIND OUT.
>> Stephen: EVEN THOUGH THAT THERE HAVE BEEN NO VISITORS, NO
TOURS OF THE CAPITOL SINCE MARCH.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: NOT EVEN MEMBERS ARE REALLY ALLOWED TO BRING ANY
PEOPLE IN FOR A TOUR.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
IF THAT ALLEGATION IS TRUE, STEPHEN, IF IT'S TRUE, THAT TELL
US SOMETHING THAT HAS TO BE DEALT WITH.
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT THE SENATORS?
I KNOW YOU'RE THE WORLD'S MOST DELIBERATIVE BODY BUT THERE HAS
TO BE A LIMIT WHERE YOU HAVE TO ASK SHOULD THIS PERSON BE IN
HERE WITH US IF THEY AREN'T WILLING TO ACCEPT THE RESULTS OF
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WHEN THEY VOTE?
>> ON THE ONE HAND YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT EXPELLING
PEOPLE, THEY WERE ELECTED BY CONSTITUENTS.
TRUST ME, THIS WILL BE AN ISSUE.
HOW WE DEAL WITH THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WILL BE LOOKED AT
VERY, VERY HARD.
>> Stephen: CAN YOU AT LEAST MAKE TED CRUZ OR JOSH HAWLEY
WEAR A STUPID HAT THAT SAYS SEDITIONIST ON TOP?
THEY HAVE TO FACE THE CORNER.
THERE HAS TO BE A STAIN THAT DOESN'T LEAVE THEM AS A JUDGMENT
OF HISTORY.
>> AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE CRISIS IS YOU HAVE A PRESIDENT
WHO GAVE US A BIG, BIG LIE THAT HE WON THE ELECTION BY A LAND
SLIDE WHEN, IN FACT, HE LOST, AND THEN YOU HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF
PEOPLE, NOT JUST CRUZ AND HAWLEY, WHO TID NOT SAY WHAT IS
SIMPLY THE TRUTH, HEY, PEOPLE RUN IN ELECTIONS AND LOSE.
I'VE WON, SOMETIMES YOU WIN.
H LOST THE ELECTION, PERIOD, END OF DISCUSSION, AND WE HAD
VERY VERY VERY FEW SENATORS WHO MADE THAT STATEMENT.
>> Stephen: ONCE THE NEWEST SNRRTS ARE SWORN?
-- SENATORS ARE SWORN IN, THE DEMOCRATS, YOU CONFERENCING WITH
THEM, WILL HAVE CONTROL OF THE SENATE, AND YOU WILL BE THE NEW
CHAIR OF THE BUDGET COMMITTEE.
THAT'S YOUR FIRST PRIORITY?
>> MY FIRST PRIORITY IS TO WORK ON A COMPREHENSIVE
RECONCILIATION BILL, WITHOUT GETTING INTO ALL THE RULES OF
THE SENATE.
THIS IS A MEANS BY WHICH WE CAN PASS VERY SIGNIFICANT
LEGISLATION WITH A MAJORITY, WITH 51 VOTES AND NOT WITH 60.
AND I'M GOING TO MAKE THAT RECONCILIATION BILL AS BOLD AND
AGGRESSIVE AS I POSSIBLY CAN.
WE FACE MORE CRISES TODAY THAN ANYTIME IN THE MODERN HISTORY OF
THIS COUNTRY.
IT'S NOT JUST THE TERRIBLE PANDEMIC WHICH HAS CLAIMED
ALMOST 400,000 LIVES, IT IS MASSIVE UNEMPLOYMENT, MILLIONS
OF PEOPLE UNABLE TO FEED THEIR KIDS, PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING EIC
EVICTED, PEOPLE WHO CAN'T GO TO THE DOCTOR BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO
HEALTHCARE.
WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS RESPOND TO THE PAIN THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE
FEELING, WHICH IS ENORMOUS RIGHT NOW.
PEOPLE ARE LOSING FAITH IN GOVERNMENT.
WE HAVE TO RESTORE THE FAITH BY SAYING, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE HEAR YOUR PAIN AND WE'RE GOING TO RESPOND IN A BOLD
MANNER AND, IN ADDITION TO THAT, PROBABLY IN A SECOND
RECONCILIATION BILL, WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH SOME OF THE SYSTEMIC,
LONG-TERM, ONGOING PROBLEMS FACING THIS COUNTRY.
PEOPLE CAN'T LIVE ON $10 AN HOUR.
WE'VE GOT TO RAISE THE MINIMUM-WAGE TO A LIVING WAGE.
INSANE WE ARE THE ONLY MAJOR COUNTRY ON EARTH NOT TO HAVE
GUARANTEED HEALTHCARE TO ALL, OR HAVE PAID FAMILY AND MEDICAL
LEAVE.
WE'VE GOT TO DEAL WITH CLIMATE CHANGE, WITH COUNTRIES AROUND
THE WORLD, OR WE'RE NOT LEAVING MUCH TO OUR KIDS OR
GRANDCHILDREN.
IN OTHER WORDS, AT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT IN HISTORY,
CONGRESS WILL HAVE TO RISE UP AND BE EXTREMELY BOLD IN
ADDRESSING THE MAJOR CRISES FACING WORKING FAMILIES AND THE
MIDDLE CLASS AND I INTEND TO BE ACTIVE IN THAT PROCESS.
>> Stephen: PRESIDENT-ELECT BIDEN RELEASED
THE RESCUE PLAN.
CAN YOU GIVE US AN IDEA OF WHAT IT CONTAINS?
> IT'S A SERIOUS START.
AMONG OTHER THINGS, IN LOOKING AGENT THE PANDEMIC, IT SAYS WE
NEED TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE ALL OF THE VACCINE PRODUCTION WE
POSSIBLY CAN TO MAKE SURE THAT WE GET THE VACCINES OUT AROUND
THE COUNTRY.
WE NEED A LOT BETTER JOB DISTRIBUTING THOSE VACCINES,
GETTING THE ARMS INTO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.
WE ARE NOT DOING THAT RIGHT NOW.
BIDEN'S PLAN ALSO UNDERSTANDS THAT THE ECONOMY IS IN SHAMBLES
AND THAT WE NEED EMERGENCY RELIEF FOR WORKING FAMILIES.
HE IS SUPPORTIVE OF ANOTHER $1,400 ON TOP OF THE $600 WE
PROVPROVIDED IN THE LAST BILL FO WORKING CLASS ADULTS AND THEIR
KIDS, EXTENDING UNEMPLOYMENT, MAKING SURE THAT SMALL
BUSINESSES ARE ABLE TO SURVIVE.
SO, YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE A LOT OF HARD LOOK
AT THE AT THE TAILS, BUT IT IS A VERY GOOD START IN ADDRESSING
THE PANDEMIC CRISIS AND THE ECONOMIC CRISIS WE NOW FACE.
>> Stephen: IF I COULD MAKE JUST TWO SUGGESTIONS, AND YOU
CAN SAY YOU GO TO HELL, STEPHEN COLBERT, BUT MY TWO SUGGESTIONS
WOULD BE THIS, ONE, PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT VOTING RIGHTS
BECAUSE THERE IS ONE PARTY IN THIS COUNTRY WHO WANTS TO GET
INTO OFFICE AND PULL UP THE LADDER BEHIND THEM, AND IT IS
VERY IMPORTANT THAT WHATEVER GAINS YOU MAKE ARE MAINTAINED BY
FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS OR TOSSED OUT BY FREE AND FAIR
ELECTIONS, WHATEVER.
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DECIDE.
BUT IF OUR VOTING RIGHTS ARE NOT PROTECTED -- AND I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAN BE DONE ON A FEDERAL LEVEL --
>> A LOT CAN BE DONE, STEPHEN.
YOUR POINT IS WELL TAKEN.
LOOK, AMONG THE MANY OTHER CRISES WE'RE FACING NOW,
OBVIOUSLY LED BY TRUMP, THERE IS A CHALLENGE, A FIERCE EFFORT TO
UNDERSTOOD MINE AMERICAN DEMOCRACY AND THE RESPONSE HAS
GOT TO BE THAT WE'RE CREATING A MORE VIBRANT DEMOCRACY WHICH
MEANS EVERYONE HAS A RIGHT TO VOTE.
WE WON'T HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE, DEAL WITH VOTER SUPPRESSION.
WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH CITIZENS UNITED AND THE ABILITY OF
BILLIONAIRES TO BUY ELECTIONS.
BUT HOW WE CREATE A SITUATION WHERE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO
UNDERSTAND THE POLITICAL PROCESS CAN VOTE AS EASILY AS POSSIBLE
AND THOSE ARE FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS, ABSOLUTELY A VERY
HIGH PRIORITY.
>> Stephen: BACK WITH MORE SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS.
♪♪♪ ♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WE'RE BACK WITH THE SOON-TO-BE CHAIRMAN OF THE SENATE BUDGET
COMMITTEE, SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS.
IT HAS BEEN A LONG FOUR YEARS, AND AMERICA HAS CHANGED IN A LOT
OF WAYS.
WHAT, IN YOUR OPINION, HAS BEEN THE GREATEST CHANGE YOU'VE SEEN
WROUGHT ON THIS GREAT COUNTRY OVER THE LAST FOUR YEARS, AND
WHAT HAS STAYED THE SAME, DESPITE THE ATTACKS?
>> WELL, I THINK WHAT HAS UPSET ME THE MOST IS NOT JUST DONALD
TRUMP.
TRUMP IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR AND A DEMAGOGUE, AND I GOT THAT, BUT
WHAT UPSETS ME THE MOST IS SOME 73 MILLION AMERICANS SUPPORTED
HIM AND THAT HE DID BETTER IN MANY DEPRESSED AREAS OF THE
COUNTRY THAN HE DID IN 2016.
NOW, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
WHY DO PEOPLE CONTINUE TO SUPPORT SOMEBODY WHO IS A LIAR,
WHO GIVES THEIR BENEFITS -- MAKES POLICY TO BENEFIT THE RICH
AND THE POWERFUL AT THE EXPENSE OF WORKING PEOPLE?
HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
HOW DO WE RESTORE FAITH IN GOVERNMENT SO THAT PEOPLE
UNDERSTAND THAT THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO BE
WORKING FOR THEM?
HOW DO WE BRING A NATION TOGETHER WHICH TRUMP HAS DONE
ITS BEST TO DIVIDE US WITH HIS RACISM AND HIS XENOPHOBIA?
SO WE HAVE AN ENORMOUS TASK IN FRONT OF US IN THAT REGARD.
I THINK, YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE ASKING ME WHAT'S POSITIVE ABOUT
ALL OF THIS, AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU HAVE HAD GOVERNMENTAL
OFFICIALS, SECRETARIES OF STATE IN GEORGIA, ARIZONA, OTHER
REPUBLICAN STATES WHO, AGAINST AN ONSLAUGHT OF VICIOUSNESS AND
TREATS FROM TRUMP'S BASE, HAVE DEFENDED THE CONSTITUTION, AND
THAT'S NO SMALL THING.
BUT GETTING BACK TO YOUR POINT ABOUT REINVIGORATING DEMOCRACY
AND VOTING RIGHTS, AT THE VERY HIGHLES LEVEL OF PRIORITIES HAS
GOT TO BE THE EFFORT TO FIGURE OUT HOW WE CAN CREATE A VIBRANT
DEMOCRACY WHERE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME, THAT'S FINE, YOU'RE NOT
MY ENEMY, WHERE WE HAVE FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS, WHERE BIG MONEY
DOES NOT BUY ELECTIONS, WHERE WE END THE KIND OF RACISM AND
XENOPHOBIA THAT WE'RE SEEING RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: THERE WAS SOME SPECULATION THAT YOU WOULD BE
SECRETARY OF LABOR, BUT, WHEN BIDEN NOMINATED, INSTEAD, MARTY
WALSH, HE DID SAY THIS ABOUT YOU MORE PASSIONATE AND DEVOTED ALLY
TO WORKING PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY THAN YOU.
DOES IT EVER SURPRISE YOU THAT THE PEOPLE WHO SUPPORTED THE
PRESIDENT, THOSE 74 MILLION PEOPLE, MANY OF WHOM ARE WORKING
CLASS WHITE PEOPLE IN THE UNITED STATES, THAT YOU CAN'T FIND
COMMON CAUSE WITH THEM BECAUSE MANY OF THE POLICIES THAT YOU
PUT FORTH WOULD BE BENEFICIAL FOR EVERY WORKING CLASS PERSON
IN THE UNITED STATES, MANY OF THEM FOR ALL PEOPLE, BUT
CERTAINLY SPEAKING OUT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE THE POWER
OF THE CORPORATE MONEY BEHIND THEM IS SOMETHING YOU'RE KNOWN
FOR.
WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE TO THEM?
>> MY MESSAGE IS LET US WORK TOGETHER ON HEALTHCARE, LET'S
WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE SURE ALL OUR KIDS REGARDLESS OF INCOME
CAN GET A HIGHER EDUCATION, LET US NOT ALLOW THE DEMAGOGUES
DIVIDE US UP.
WHETHER YOU'RE BLACK, WHITE, LATINO, YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO
HAVE A DECENT EDUCATION, YOU WANT CLEAN WATER, YOU NEED
HEALTHCARE AND YOU CAN'T MAKE IT ON STARVATION WAGES.
WHAT OUR JOB HAS TO BE IS TO BRING PEOPLE AROUND AN AGENDA
THAT IS IN FACT SUPPORTED BY THE MAJORITY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
AND VIGOROUSLY OPPOSE THOSE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO DIVIDE US BY
THE COLOR OF OUR SKIN OR OUR RELIGION OR WHERE WE WERE BORN.
>> Stephen: IN 2016, PAUL RYAN SAID REPUBLICANS SHOULD BE
SCARED OF DEMOCRATS CONTROLLING THE SENATE BECAUSE BERNIE
SANDERS WOULD BE THE BUDGET CHAIR.
BEFORE WE GO, WHAT'S THEONE THING THAT YOU COULD SAY THAT
WOULD SCARE PAUL RYAN THE MOST?
>> WELL, I WOULD SAY TO PAUL RYAN IS THAT WE ARE GOING TO
START AN EFFORT TO TAX THE WEALTHIEST PEOPLE IN THIS
COUNTRY AND THE LARGEST CORPORATIONS WHO, TODAY, ARE NOT
BAYING, BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION, THEIR FAIR SHARE OF
TAXES.
>> Stephen: SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS, EVERYBODY.
BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY FINNEAS.
SENATOR, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
♪♪♪
♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
PERFORMING HIS SINGLE, "CAN'T WAIT TO BE DEAD," FINNEAS!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY'S DRIVIN' YOU HOME
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE ♪ YOU'RE IN THE BACK OF THE CAR
SOMEBODY'S TRYIN' TO HELP ♪ AND MAKIN' EVERYTHING WORSE
SOMEBODY PLEASE CALL THE NURSE ♪ SOMEBODY'S RIPPING YOU OFF
TRYIN' TO SELL YOU GOOD NEWS ♪ YOU KNOW WE'RE STILL GONNA
LOSE ♪ BUT I NEED TO BE WHERE YOU ARE
FOR NO REASON AT ALL ♪ OR ELSE I'LL SUFFER
WITHDRAWAL ♪ NOBODY'S COMIN' TO SAVE ME
NOBODY KNOWS ANY BETTER, ANYWAY ♪ I THINK WE'RE THINKIN'
THE SAME THING ♪ IF THIS IS HOW IT ENDS
I WASN'T LISTENIN' ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ SOMEBODY'S SCREAMIN' AGAIN ANOTHER SUNBURN WITH HAIR
♪ IT'S TOO MUCH FUN NOT TO STARE SOMEBODY'S CALLIN' YOU OUT
♪ FOR SOMETHIN' YOU NEVER SAID KINDA CAN'T WAIT TO BE DEAD
♪ SOMEBODY'S WASTING MY TIME CHECK YOUR CONFEDERATE FLAG
YOU'VE GOT NO REASON TO BRAG ♪ NOBODY'S COMIN' TO SAVE ME
NOBODY KNOWS ANY BETTER, ANYWAY ♪ I THINK WE'RE THINKIN'
THE SAME THING ♪ IF THIS IS HOW IT ENDS
I WASN'T LISTENIN' ♪ TO YOU
TO YOU ♪ I WASN'T LISTENIN' YET
NOT EVEN GONE, BUT YOU'LL ♪ BE MISSIN' ME YET
I WASN'T LISTENIN' YET ♪ I WASN'T LISTENIN'
I WASN'T LISTENIN' YET ♪ >> Stephen: FINNEAS, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> STEPHEN: WELL, THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR A RARE FRIDAY SHOW
WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE THE FOLKS FROM "THE CIRCUS" AND
MUSICAL GUEST, "THE WAR ON DRUGS."
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
STAY SAFE.
♪♪♪ Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
aptioning sponsored by CBS