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00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:04,879
>> A BRITISH TABLOID IS
REPORTING AN EXPLOSIVE SCENE ON
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00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:08,508
THE U.K. SET OF ACTOR TOM
CRUISE'S NEW MOVIE "MISSION:
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00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:09,676
IMPOSSIBLE 7".
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IN AN EXPLETIVE-LADEN RANT,
CRUISE SCOLDED CREW MEMBERS FOR
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00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:16,808
NOT PRACTICING PROPER SOCIAL
DISTANCING GUIDELINES THAT THEY
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WERE SUPPOSED TO, AND THE
REPRIMAND WAS CAUGHT ON TAPE:
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00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,660
♪ ♪ ♪
>> SANTA, RUDOLPH ISN'T
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FOLLOWING OUR COVID SAFETY
PROTOCOLS.
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00:00:45,712 --> 00:01:00,643
FOLLOWING OUR COVID SAFETY
PROTOCOLS.
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00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:01,895
FOLLOWING OUR COVID SAFETY
PROTOCOLS.
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00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,898
>> WELL, THEN WHO WILL GUIDE
YOUR SLEIGH TONIGHT, SANTA?
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♪ ♪ ♪
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW
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00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,576
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
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TONIGHT:
SNOW PLACE LIKE HOME.
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00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,332
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES
TOM HANKS
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AND MUSICAL GUEST
LESLIE ODOM JR.
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FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HOMIN'.
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AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
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00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:40,725
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!
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00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:43,311
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
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00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:43,937
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
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00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,271
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
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I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
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LET'S SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
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WHAT'S THE BIG STORY TONIGHT?
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WELL, LOOK OUTSIDE, BECAUSE
DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU LIVE, IT
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MIGHT NOT BE THERE.
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00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,741
SNOW IS BATTERING THE EAST
COAST, AND OVER 60 MILLION
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00:01:56,741 --> 00:02:00,119
PEOPLE ARE UNDER A WINTER STORM
WATCH.
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00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:04,415
PEOPLE ARE BEING ASKED TO STAY
HOME, OF ALL THINGS.
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00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:07,293
CAN YOU IMAGINE, JUST SITTING
AROUND IN YOUR HOUSE FOR DAYS ON
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00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,337
END, NOWHERE TO GO, JUST
WATCHING TV?
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HOW WILL WE ADJUST?
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00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,428
NOW, I'M IN THE NEW YORK AREA,
WHICH IS EXPECTED TO GET 12-18
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INCHES TONIGHT.
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00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,472
IT'S COMING DOWN SO HARD.
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00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,766
LE ME LOOK OUT MY WINDOW.
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JIMMY, YOU CAN GIVE US A LIVE
SHOT OVER HERE, PLEASE.
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WOW, THAT'S INTENSE.
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00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,774
LOOK AT THAT.
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PUT ON A JACKET!
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00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:32,068
YOU'LL CATCH A CHILL!
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00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:35,488
HIS LIPS ARE SO CHAPPED.
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00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:40,410
MAN, THAT GUY IS RIPPED!
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00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,661
THERE ARE NO CARBS IN WESTEROS.
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FORECASTERS SAID THAT THE STORM
WILL LIKELY COVER NEARLY 1,000
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MILES WITH HEAVY SNOW, FREEZING
RAIN, AND STRONG WINDS.
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00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:51,504
AW, JUST IN TIME FOR THE
HOLIDAYS.
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IT'S JUST LIKE THE SONG:
♪ I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE
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00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,343
CHRISTMAS ♪
AHHHHHH!
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I HIT SOME BLACK ICE!
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HOLD ON!
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WE'RE GOING INTO THE CULVERT,
KIDS!
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SO IF YOU ARE OUT RIGHT NOW,
PLEASE BE SAFE.
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I MEAN, IT'S GETTING PRETTY
NASTY RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.
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JIM, CAN WE GIVE A LIVE SHOT
AGAIN.
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WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
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00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,574
>> COME ON!
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GIMME A SIGN HERE!
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00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,829
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT GOOD.
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00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,080
THAT'S NOT GOOD.
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00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:30,335
REMINDER TO EVERYBODY OUT THERE:
THE A.S.P.C.A. RECOMMENDS YOU DO
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NOT LEAVE YOUR DOGS AND CATS
OUTSIDE TONIGHT.
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00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:36,424
REMEMBER TO STUFF THEM INSIDE
YOUR TAUNTAUN.
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00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:40,720
YOU THINK IT SOUNDS BAD ON THE
OUTSIDE.
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00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,263
MUCH SNOWFALL, WE'D EXPECT TO
SEE SCHOOL CANCELLATIONS, BUT
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BECAUSE OF REMOTE LEARNING,
BILL DE BLAISO HAD BAD NEWS FOR
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NEW YORK CITY KIDS:
>> THE SNOW DAY, AS WE KNEW IT
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00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,564
AS KIDS, WHEN WE LOOKED FORWARD
TO A DAY OFF.
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00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:57,779
YES, IT'S TRUE, THAT'S NOW GOING
TO BE A THING OF THE PAST, THAT
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00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:58,363
EVEN WHEN KIDS ARE HOME BECAUSE
OF THE SNOW, THEY WILL STILL BE
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00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:58,780
LEARNING.
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00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,240
>> Stephen: NO!
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00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,408
THIS IS AN ABOMINATION-- NOT
JUST FOR KIDS, BUT FOR PARENTS.
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00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,410
THE SNOW DAY IS THE RARE
OPPORTUNITY TO WAKE UP YOUR
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00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:09,207
CHILD WITH THE GREATEST NEWS
IMAGINABLE!
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00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,416
"HONEY, THERE'S NO SCHOOL TODAY.
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00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:15,588
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO TOBOGGAN
FOR EIGHT HOURS, THEN DRINK HOT
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00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,756
CHOCOLATE.
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00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:25,431
NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP, OKAY,
WHILE DADDY HAS HIS MORNING
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00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:26,391
WINE.
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00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,935
LET'S HAVE ANOTHER LOOK OUTSIDE
THE WINDOW.
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00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:29,519
JACK TORRANCE.
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00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:34,565
HOW DOES IT LOOK OUTSIDE?
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00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:37,402
AL WORK AND NO PLAY HAS MADE
JACK A COLD BOY.
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00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,071
SPEAKING OF WINTERY WEATHER, THE
PRESIDENT'S ATTEMPTS TO
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00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,407
OVERTHROW THE 2020 ELECTION HAVE
A SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN HELL.
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00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,616
HE LOST HIS RECOUNTS, HIS
LAWSUITS HAVE BEEN THROW OUT
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00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,661
OF COURT, AND HIS PLANS TO
RETROACTIVELY DECLARE NOVEMBER 3
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00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:51,082
NATIONAL OPPOSITE DAY HAVE
FAILED.
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00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,500
ON MONDAY, THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE
CERTIFIED JOE BIDEN'S WIN; AND
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00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,586
YESTERDAY, SENATE MAJORITY
LEADER, MITCH McCONNELL
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00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,922
CONGRATULATED BIDEN ON HIS
VICTORY.
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00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:59,632
EVEN McCONNELL HAS JUMPED SHIP.
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00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:03,594
LUCKILY, HIS WADDLE WORKS AS A
FLOTATION DEVICE.
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00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:11,686
( LAUGHTER )
THE PRESIDENT WAS NOT PLEASED,
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00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,604
WITH McCONNELL, TWEETING,
"MITCH, 75,000,000 VOTES, A
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00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,606
RECORD FOR A SITTING
PRESIDENT-- BY A LOT
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00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:16,566
TOO SOON TO GIVE UP.
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00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,150
REPUBLICAN PARTY MUST FINALLY
LEARN TO FIGHT.
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00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,694
PEOPLE ARE ANGRY!"
I SEE.
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00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:20,528
"PEOPLE" ARE ANGRY.
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00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:27,702
ARE PEOPLE FEELING A LITTLE
ISOLATED?
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00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,495
MAYBE PEOPLE ARE A LITTLE SAD?
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00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,706
NOW, I UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE
MUST BE FEELING A LITTLE LONELY
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00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:32,915
AND SCARED RIGHT NOW.
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00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:35,668
AND I'M SURE PEOPLE ARE UPSET
THAT WE THE PEOPLE DIDN'T VOTE
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00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:41,215
FOR PEOPLE.
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00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,508
MAYBE PEOPLE ARE STRESS-EATING
A CAN OF DUNCAN HINES FROSTING?
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00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,844
IT WOULD BE NICE IF "PEOPLE'S"
WIFE WAS MAYBE MORE
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00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:50,850
UNDERSTANDING AND WANTED TO BE
AROUND PEOPLE.
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00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:51,517
BUT REGARDLESS OF HOW ANGRY
PEOPLE ARE, PEOPLE NEED TO GROW
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00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:55,354
THE (BLEEP) UP.
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00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:57,523
( LAUGHTER )
EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN THAT
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00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:02,695
TWEET IS THE FACT THAT THE
PRESIDENT WROTE IT AT NEARLY
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00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:03,821
1:00 A.M. ON WEDNESDAY.
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00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:08,576
OOF.
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00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,661
THE ONLY REASON TO BE UP AT 1:00
A.M. ON A WEDNESDAY IS IF YOU
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00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:11,746
HAD A REALLY BIG TACO
TUESDAY.
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00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,873
OF COURSE, THE PRESIDENT
WOULDN'T BE FEELING THIS WAY
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00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,041
IF IT WASN'T FOR THE WORK OF
PEOPLE LIKE BIDEN CAMPAIGN
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00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,584
MANAGER JEN O'MALLEY DILLON,
SEEN HERE ON THE COVER OF HER
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00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,545
RAP ALBUM "STRAIGHT OUTTA
SOUTHAMPTON."
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00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,048
O'MALLEY DILLON SAT DOWN FOR AN
INTERVIEW WITH "GLAMOUR"
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00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:29,013
MAGAZINE AND HAD THIS TO SAY
ABOUT BIDEN'S ONGOING CALLS FOR
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00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:29,972
BIPARTISANSHIP: "THE
PRESIDENT-ELECT WAS ABLE TO
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00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,808
CONNECT WITH PEOPLE OVER THIS
SENSE OF UNITY.
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00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,060
IN THE PRIMARY, PEOPLE WOULD
MOCK HIM, LIKE, "YOU THINK YOU
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00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:39,941
CAN WORK WITH REPUBLICANS?"
SHE ADDED, "I'M NOT SAYING
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00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:43,736
THEY'RE NOT A BUNCH OF (BLEEP).
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00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,072
MITCH McCONNELL IS TERRIBLE."
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00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,740
OKAY, SO THERE'S KUMBAYA, BUT
THERE'S ALSO KISS MY BUTT.
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00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,744
NOW, INSULTING YOUR COUNTRYMEN
MAY SEEM LIKE A STRANGE WAY
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00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:55,748
TO BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER, BUT
JOE BIDEN WANTS TO BUILD A TRUE
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00:06:55,748 --> 00:07:03,089
BIG TENT, WHERE EVERYONE IS
WELCOME: THE TERRIBLE PEOPLE,
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00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,632
THE (BLEEP), WHERE THE DOUCHE
NOZZLE SITS AT THE TABLE OF
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00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:05,842
BROTHERHOOD NEXT TO THE ASSHAT,
WHERE THE NUMBNUT HOLDS HANDS
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00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,885
WITH THE JACKHOLE, WHERE THE
PUTZ CAN RAISE HIS SCHMUCK-FACE
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00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:10,096
CHILDREN TO BE ANY KIND OF
DILLWEED THEY WANT.
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00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:14,559
THAT KIND OF OUTREACH HAS TO BE
IN THE PRESIDENTIAL TOOLKIT.
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00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,685
ALSO, MITCH McCONNELL'S A TOOL.
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00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,687
JOE BIDEN CONTINUES TO ACT LIKE
A GUY WHO'S ABOUT TO BE
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00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:18,604
PRESIDENT.
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00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:22,108
FOR INSTANCE, TOMORROW, HE'S
TALKING TO ME.
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00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,945
AND TODAY, THE PRESIDENT-ELECT
ANNOUNCED HE WILL NOMINATE PETE
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00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:37,456
BUTTIGIEG TO BE SECRETARY OF
TRANSPORTATION.
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00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:38,791
MAYOR BUTTIGIEG, OBVIOUSLY,
UNDERSTANDS TRANSPORTATION.
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00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,168
AFTER ALL, HE'S A RHODES
SCHOLAR.
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00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,919
( ♪ "GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ♪
>> BE THE MILLIONTH PERSON TO
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00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,671
MAKE THIS JOKE.
151
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:44,547
WIN A FREE SLAM!
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00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,132
>> Stephen: IT'S A HISTORIC
NOMINATION.
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00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,092
BUTTIGIEG WILL BE THE FIRST
OPENLY L.G.B.T.Q. PERSON IN ANY
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00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:51,804
CABINET.
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00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:56,267
THOUGH IT IS POSSIBLE THAT
NOBODY TOLD THE PRESIDENT-ELECT.
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00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,935
>> AND BY THE WAY, JILL AND I
ALWAYS ENJOYED SEEING PETE AND
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00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:58,811
KRISTEN-- OR CHASTEN, I SHOULD
SAY-- TOGETHER ON THE TRAIL.
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00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:03,733
( AS BIDEN )
"SORRY, SOMETIMES I GET MY
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00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,861
L.G.'s MIXED UP WITH MY B.T.Q.'S
AND MY B.L.T.'S.
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00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:07,945
HEY, DON'T BE TOO OFFENDED.
161
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,156
REMEMBER, ONE TIME I THOUGHT MY
WIFE WAS MY SISTER.
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00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:15,953
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, GIL?
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00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:18,122
JILL."
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00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:21,209
I COULD GO FOR A B.L.T.
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00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,501
WHEN IT WAS HIS TURN TO TAKE THE
STAGE, MAYOR PETE EXTOLLED THE
166
00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:27,632
VIRTUES OF TRANSPORTATION:
>> TRAVEL, IN MY MIND, IS
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00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:31,510
SYNONYMOUS WITH GROWTH, WITH
ADVENTURE, EVEN LOVE, SO MUCH SO
168
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:34,180
THAT I PROPOSED TO MY HUSBAND,
CHASTEN, IN AN AIRPORT TERMINAL.
169
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,515
DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT
O'HARE ISN'T ROMANTIC.
170
00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,976
>> Stephen: AND IT WASN'T JUST
THE ENGAGEMENT.
171
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:43,898
THEY HELD THE RECEPTION AT
CHILI'S TOO.
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00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,566
THEY REGISTERED AT "HUDSON
NEWS."
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00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,568
"OH, MAN, SOMEBODY ALREADY
BOUGHT THE "WELCOME TO CHICAGO"
174
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:48,819
SNOWGLOBE.
175
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:55,868
SHOULD WE GET THEM A NECK PILLOW
OR A $15 BAG OF GUMMY BEARS?"
176
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,204
NOW, BUTTIGIEG RECOGNIZED HOW
HISTORIC HIS NOMINATION WAS.
177
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,539
>> I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF A
17-YEAR-OLD SOMEWHERE WHO MIGHT
178
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:04,377
BE WATCHING US RIGHT NOW,
SOMEBODY WHO WONDERS WHETHER AND
179
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,005
WHERE THEY BELONG IN THE WORLD
OR EVEN IN THEIR OWN FAMILY.
180
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:10,258
AND I'M THINKING ABOUT THE
MESSAGE THAT TODAY'S
181
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,092
ANNOUNCEMENT IS SENDING TO THEM.
182
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:15,763
>> Stephen: YOU HEAR THAT,
17-YEAR-OLD?
183
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,515
YOU STAY IN SCHOOL, AND SOMEDAY
YOU, TOO, MAY SEE YOUR NAME ON A
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00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:20,017
SIGN OUTSIDE A TRUCK WEIGH
STATION.
185
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:24,021
I'M TALKING LEGENDS LIKE
CLAUDE S. BRINEGAR, NEIL E.
186
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:28,025
GOLDSCHMIDT, AND OUR CURRENT
SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION--
187
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:29,151
I HAVE NO IDEA.
188
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,779
IT'S NOT JUST REPUBLICAN
SENATORS BAILING ON THE CURRENT
189
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:32,446
ADMINISTRATION.
190
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,240
SO ARE ITS OWN STAFF MEMBERS.
191
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,910
A LITTLE WHILE BACK, I TOLD YOU
ABOUT THE STATE DEPARTMENT'S
192
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,954
HOLIDAY PARTY PLANNED BY
SECRETARY OF STATE AND
193
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,958
MARSHMALLOW PEEP IN THE
MICROWAVE, MIKE POMPEO.
194
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:48,004
DESPITE THE PANDEMIC, POMPEO
INVITED 900 GUESTS.
195
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,966
WELL, THE BIG EVENT WAS
YESTERDAY, AND TURNS OUT,
196
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,759
EVERYBODY HAD A GREAT TIME NOT
GOING BECAUSE HUNDREDS OF
197
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:58,222
INVITEES SKIPPED MIKE POMPEO'S
PARTY.
198
00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:58,973
DON'T FEEL BAD, MR. SECRETARY.
199
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,933
IT'S NOT THAT THEY DON'T LIKE
YOU.
200
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,728
IT'S THAT THEY THINK YOU'RE A
MORON FOR HOLDING A PARTY DURING
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00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:04,437
A PANDEMIC.
202
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,106
THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T LIKE YOU.
203
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,316
THE NUMBERS WERE PRETTY LOW.
204
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:14,822
OUT OF THE 900 PEOPLE INVITED,
ABOUT 70 PEOPLE R.S.V.P.'d, AND
205
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:15,573
ONLY A FEW DOZEN SHOWED UP.
206
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,616
A FEW DOZEN PEOPLE?
207
00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:23,956
LET'S BE GENEROUS AND SAY IT WAS
36 PEOPLE.
208
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:31,964
THAT'S AROUND 4% OF THE INVITES.
209
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,758
THOSE WHO BRAVED THE CONTAGION
TO ATTEND WERE TREATED TO A
210
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,134
SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY...
211
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:35,968
A MASKED SANTA.
212
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,803
WAIT A SECOND, I RECOGNIZE
THAT PHYSIQUE.
213
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:38,971
NICE TRY, MR. PRESIDENT.
214
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:43,017
I THINK SOMEONE JUST WANTED
UNLIMITED COOKIES AND TO KISS
215
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:46,270
PEOPLE'S MOMMIES.
216
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,105
GUESTS HOPING TO HEAR FROM
POMPEO WERE DISAPPOINTED,
217
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,774
BECAUSE AT THE LAST MINUTE, THE
SECRETARY CANCELED HIS SPEECH
218
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,984
AND TAPPED A SUBSTITUTE SPEAKER.
219
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:52,735
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
220
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,988
YOU'RE THE HOST OF THE DUMB
PARTY!
221
00:10:55,988 --> 00:11:02,161
THAT'S LIKE GOING, "UH, THANKS,
EVERYONE, COMING TO ME AND
222
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,329
MICHELLE'S ENGAGEMENT PARTY.
223
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,163
LOOKS LIKE THERE'S JUST A
HANDFUL OF PEOPLE HERE, SO I TAP
224
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:04,622
ROGER AS A SUBSTITUTE GROOM.
225
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,375
GOOD LUCK, ROG.
226
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:11,545
SHE'S A HELL OF A LADY, BUT NOT
VERY POPULAR, EVIDENTLY."
227
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:13,047
BUT POMPEO WAS THERE, AND HE
IS NOW IN QUARANTINE DUE TO
228
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:16,008
COVID-19 EXPOSURE AFTER THE
HOLIDAY PARTY.
229
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:20,638
IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN EBENEZER
SCROOGE LEARNED HIS LESSON AFTER
230
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:24,016
GETTING A VISIT FROM THE GHOST
OF CHRISTMAS OBVIOUS.
231
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,520
OKAY, ENOUGH MEAT.
232
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,814
LET'S GET TO THE CHRISTMAS
CANDY.
233
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:34,318
IT'S TIME FOR "LATE SHOW HOT
GOSS."
234
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:37,363
( SIZZLE )
BECAUSE WE'VE GOT SOME BIG
235
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:40,032
CELEBRITY NEWS.
236
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,784
I'M TALKING ABOUT BLOCKBUSTER
MEGA STAR AND MAN WHO I WILL
237
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,703
NOT MAKE A JOKE ABOUT BECAUSE
I'VE NEVER INTERVIEWED HIM, AND
238
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:47,957
I'D LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN SOMEDAY,
TOM CRUISE.
239
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,834
CRUISE IS CURRENTLY IN THE U.K.
240
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,419
SHOOTING THE NEW MISSION
IMPOSSIBLE SEQUEL, "MISSION
241
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,503
IMPOSSIBLE 7: TURNS OUT THE
FIRST SIX TIMES WERE POSSIBLE."
242
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:58,676
WHILE HE WAS ON SET, CRUISE
NOTICED TWO CREW MEMBERS
243
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,428
STANDING TOO CLOSE TO ONE
ANOTHER IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER
244
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,597
SCREEN, VIOLATING THE MOVIE'S
STRICT COVID-19 SAFETY
245
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,723
PROTOCOLS.
246
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:10,729
WHICH, TO BE FAIR, ARE HARD TO
SEE, BECAUSE THEY'RE...
247
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:12,898
GHOST PROTOCOLS.
248
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:14,567
NO SOUND EFFECT?
249
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,902
WE HAVE NO SOUND EFFECTS?
250
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:21,198
WE WILL NEVER HAVE SOUND EFFECTS
OR THEY WILL BE LAID IN LATER?
251
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,992
WE'LL FIND OUT.
252
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,869
>> Stephen: OF COURSE-- I
DON'T WANT THEM NOW.
253
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:28,414
YOU REALIZE I DON'T WANT THEM
NOW.
254
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,082
OF COURSE, CRUISE TAKES THE
SAFETY OF HIS PRODUCTION VERY
255
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,084
SERIOUSLY.
256
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,462
AND SEEING THE RULES BROKEN MADE
HIM FLIP OUT, RESULTING IN
257
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:34,503
THIS LEAKED AUDIO:
>> Stephen: IS THAT IT?
258
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,616
>> THAT'S IT!
259
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,492
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
260
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,161
GLAD I CHECKED.
261
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:10,789
NOW, AS INTENSE AS THAT SOUNDS,
AND IT DOES SOUND INTENSE,
262
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,957
THAT'S JUST THE AUDIO.
263
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:14,919
HE SAID ALL OF THAT WHILE HALO
JUMPING FROM A C-17 ONTO THE
264
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:15,794
MINUTE HAND OF BIG BEN.
265
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:20,257
YES, TOM CRUISE DOES ALL OF HIS
OWN RANTS.
266
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,635
NOW, THE RECORDING GOES ON FOR
MORE THAN THREE MINUTES.
267
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,470
MUCH LIKE THE "MISSION:
IMPOSSIBLE" FRANCHISE ITSELF, IT
268
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:28,641
GETS KIND OF REPETITIVE, BUT IT
NEVER LETS UP ON THE ADRENALINE.
269
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,478
NOW, THIS IS THE RARE CELEBRITY
RANT WHERE I LISTENED AND WENT:
270
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,813
"YEAH, HE'S GOT A POINT."
271
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,191
I DON'T KNOW IF WE NEED THE
SCREAM OR ANY OF THE POTTY TALK,
272
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:40,486
BUT CRUISE IS THE PRODUCER OF
THE MOVIE, AND HE HAS TO SET
273
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,529
SAFETY STANDARDS TO PROTECT
EVERYONE'S JOB ON HIS FILM AND
274
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:45,658
ALL THE OTHER PENDING
PRODUCTIONS LOOKING TO SEE IF
275
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,117
SHOOTING DURING COVID CAN BE
DONE RESPONSIBLY.
276
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:51,330
BUT IT'S THE NOT THE FIRST TIME
HE'S LOST HIS COOL WHILE
277
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,581
FILMING.
278
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:53,999
THE TEAM AT "LATE SHOW HOT GOSS"
HAS OBTAINED EXCLUSIVE AUDIO OF
279
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,794
CRUISE ON SET BACK IN 1983.
280
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,027
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
281
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,863
TOM HANKS IS HERE.
282
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:25,406
WON'T YOU STICK AROUND FOR TOM
HANKS.
283
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,222
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
284
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,057
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
285
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,059
HOPE YOU'RE STAYING WARM.
286
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,729
LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON
BATISTE.
287
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,732
JON, WHERE YOU ARE, ARE YOU
GETTING POUNDED WITH SNOW RIGHT
288
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:00,733
NOW?
289
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,359
>> Jon: YES, I AM, THERE'S SO
MUCH SNOW OUTSIDE.
290
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:05,362
YOU KNOW, IT'S A WHITE
CHRISTMAS.
291
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:06,530
>> Stephen: DID YOU-- NO SNOW.
292
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:11,076
THERE'S NEVER SNOW IN NEW
ORLEANS, RIGHT, EVER FOR ANYONE
293
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,244
REASON?
294
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,371
>> Jon: NO,UN THE 17 YEARS
THEY GREW UP IN NEW ORLEANS, WE
295
00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:15,080
DIDN'T HAVE SNOW ONE TIME.
296
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,206
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
297
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:19,001
>> Stephen: SO NEVER A SNOW
DAY?
298
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:19,752
NEVER A SNOW DAY.
299
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,755
>> Jon: NO, NEVER A SNOW DAY,
MAN.
300
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,589
WE HAD LONG FALL.
301
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,133
( LAUGHTER )
FALL EXTENDED, YOU KNOW.
302
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:31,889
>> Stephen: WELL, JON, I'M
ABOUT TO TALK TO MR. TOM HANKS.
303
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:35,684
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU GOT, A
LITTLE MUSIC-- MUSIC FOR HANKS?
304
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:40,439
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, THE
HANKS-- THE BEAUTIFUL MR. HANKS.
305
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:53,160
♪ ♪ ♪
THAT'S SOMETHING FOR HANKS.
306
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,412
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
EVERYBODY.
307
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:55,913
THANK YOU, JON.
308
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,165
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
309
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:03,128
♪ DA-DEE-DA♪
>> Stephen: MY GUEST THIS
310
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:06,423
EVENING IS A GREAT BIG MOVIE
STAR WHO HAS A NEW FILM, "NEWS
311
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,675
OF THE WORLD."
312
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,469
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE
SHOW," TOM HANKS!
313
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:10,844
HELLO, TOM.
314
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,304
>> HEY, STEVE.
315
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,138
HOW ARE YOU?
316
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,766
>> Stephen: I'M DOING-- I'M
DOING OKAY.
317
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:16,558
IT'S-- I'M IN THE OFFICE NOW.
318
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:19,937
LAST TIME YOU SAW ME, I WAS AT
HOME.
319
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,314
I'M--
>> YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TALKING
320
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,482
TO YOUR CRACK STAFF.
321
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:26,819
I'M A LITTLE DISTURBED BY THIS
DUAL OFFICE THING YOU HAVE.
322
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,070
>> Stephen: WHAT?
323
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,615
>> BECAUSE I JUST READ-- I JUST
READ THAT PUTIN-- THAT'S RIGHT,
324
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:36,662
THAT PUTIN-- HAS TWO IDENTICAL
OFFICES, ONE IN THE KREMLIN IN
325
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:40,958
MOSCOW, AND THEN ONE ON THE
BEACH DOWN ON THE BLACK SEA.
326
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,461
AND SO NO ONE REALLY KNOWS IS HE
AT WORK?
327
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,171
IS HE IN THE WORK OFFICE?
328
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,507
OR IS HE-- IS HE DOWN THERE?
329
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:54,680
IT STRIKES ME AS A VERY, YOU
KNOW, DESPOTIC THING TO DO TO
330
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,014
HAVE TWO OFFICES.
331
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:57,850
SO WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU
ARE.
332
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,184
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW IF
THIS IS THE REAL STEPHEN COLBERT
333
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,312
OR IF IT'S MY BODY DOUBLE.
334
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:06,692
>> YOU COULD HAVE A GUY THAT
SORT OF LOOKS LIKE YOU WITH THE
335
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,862
BAD HAIR AND THE WHOLE BIT AND A
COUPLE OF PROSTHETICS --
336
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,865
>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO GO FOR
THE EAR.
337
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,826
BALDY!
338
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,454
( LAUGHTER )
>> OH, MAN, I WISH I HAD
339
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,371
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
340
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,290
>> Stephen: YOU EVER SEE THAT
MOVIE "DAVE?"
341
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,042
I COULD BE KEVIN KLINE RIGHT
NOW.
342
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,210
>> YOU COULD-- YOU COULD BE, YOU
COULD BE.
343
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:29,214
>> Stephen: TOM, TOM HANKS,
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE
344
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:31,508
JOINED US UNDER COVID
CONDITIONS.
345
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:35,387
THAT GIVES YOU SOME-- SOME IDEA.
346
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:39,183
WE'VE NOW ACHIEVED TWO HANKS'
WORTH OF COVID-19--
347
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:45,773
>> WELL, MUCH, MUCH LIKE THE
VICE-- THE VACCINE REQUIRES TWO,
348
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:46,440
TWO INOCULATIONS.
349
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,316
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.
350
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,235
>> SO I'M-- I'M-- THIS IS THE
FOLLOW-UP.
351
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,570
THIS IS THE FOLLOW-UP.
352
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,198
>> Stephen: AND I KNOW YOU
HAVE TO BE REFRIGERATED BETWEEN
353
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:54,740
APPEARANCES.
354
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:55,616
JUST TO KEEP YOU FRESH.
355
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:59,411
>> NOW --
>> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
356
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,662
SINCE JULY?
357
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:06,794
>> I WAS DOWN-- I WAS ON HOLIDAY
FOR A WHILE, AND THEN I RETURNED
358
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,086
TO WORK, YOU KNOW.
359
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:10,631
WHEN I GOT COVID THE FIRST TIME
BACK IN MARCH, WE WERE SIX DAYS
360
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:15,260
AWAY FROM BEGINNING TO MAKE A
MOVIE ABOUT ELVIS PRESSLEY.
361
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,888
AUSTIN BUT LEER WAS PLAYING
ELVIS PRESSLEY.
362
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:22,100
AND WE HAD TO FIGURE OUT ARE WE
STILL DOING THIS?
363
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,352
AND THEY ARE.
364
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:27,231
SO I WENT BACK DOWN AND DID MY
PART, AND THEY'LL STILL BE DOWN
365
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,398
SHOOTING.
366
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,276
THAT'S WHY I HAD TO SHAVE MY
HEAD FOR A SERIES OF WIGS AND
367
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,780
BALD PATES AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
368
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:39,284
>> Stephen: IS ELVIS BIG IN
AUSTRALIA?
369
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,954
>> ELVIS PRESSLEY IS BIG AROUND
THE WORLD, MY FRIEND.
370
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,081
>> Stephen: I AM FAMILIAR.
371
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,291
I AM FAMILIAR WITH HIS WORK,
OKAY.
372
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,794
I DO SHOOT IN THE ED SULLIVAN
THEATER.
373
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:52,256
SO DON'T LECTURE ME ON ELVIS
PRESSLEY, BUDDY!
374
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:55,175
>> YOU CAN ACTUALLY TAKE PEOPLE
THAT HAVE NEVER SPOKEN THE
375
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:58,804
ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND NEVER SEEN
MODERN TECHNOLOGY, AND YOU JUST
376
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:02,516
SHOW A GUY WITH SIDEBURNS AND
THOSE HIGH COLLARS FROM THE
377
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,811
VEGAS ERA, AND THEY SAY, "LOVE
ME TENDER."
378
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,688
>> Stephen: "ALL SHOOK UP."
379
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:08,605
EXACTLY.
380
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:12,317
YOU GO TO THE ISLANDS IN THE
INDIAN OCEAN--
381
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:18,156
>> "HOUND DOG.
382
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,366
HOUND DOG."
383
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,576
"SUSPICIOUS MINDS."
384
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:24,163
>> Stephen: I WAS CURIOUS IF
EVEN TO THIS DAY ELVIS IS STILL
385
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,372
A PHENOM DOWN IN AUSTRALIA.
386
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:30,502
>> ELVIS IS BIGGER THAN-- LET ME
PUT IT THIS WAY-- ELVIS IS AS
387
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,462
BUG AS HE EVER HAS BEEN, AND
MUCH OF THAT CREDIT GOES TO THE
388
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:36,300
GUY I PLAYED IN THIS MOVIE,
WHICH IS COLONEL TOM PARKER.
389
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,303
>> Stephen: PEOPLE DON'T KNOW
MUCH ABOUT THE COLONEL.
390
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:42,347
GIVE US A LITTLE C.V. HERE.
391
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:45,309
>> COLONEL PARKER WAS A CARNIVAL
OPERATOR GUY WHO WAS IN THE
392
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:51,356
BUSINESS OF PROMOTING THE LIKES
OF EDWARD ARNOLD, HANK SNOW,
393
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:52,566
JIMMY ROGERS SNOW.
394
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:58,363
AND HE TOOK ONE LOOK AT THIS
YOUNG KID FROM MEMPHIS, TIP LOW,
395
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:03,035
BY WAY OF MEMPHIS, SAW HIS
EFFECT AS HE WAS SINGING ON THE
396
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:06,246
AUDIENCE-- MOSTLY OF WOMEN,
GIRLS AND WOMEN-- AND REALIZED
397
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,665
HE HAD PERHAPS-- THIS WAS
PERHAPS THE GREATEST CARNIVAL
398
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,876
ATTRACTION ON THE PLANET EARTH.
399
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,337
AND HE HAD NO OTHER CLIENTS.
400
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:17,090
AND ELVIS NEVER HAD ANY OTHER
PROMOTER OR MANAGER.
401
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:20,427
I WILL SAY "PROMOTER" MORE THAN
MANAGER.
402
00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:23,722
AND HE-- HE WAS BOTH A GENIUS
AND A SCOUNDREL.
403
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:26,266
HE WAS BOTH A VERY DISCIPLINED
MAN AND ALSO A GUY THAT YOU
404
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:29,436
MIGHT WANT TO CHECK YOUR WALLET
TO SEE IF YOU STILL HAVE ALL
405
00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:33,231
THOSE 5s AND 10s.
406
00:20:33,231 --> 00:20:35,525
"SON OF A GUN, I'VE ONLY GOT
SINGLES LEFT IN HERE."
407
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:36,735
YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO THAT.
408
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:42,658
BUT I HAD A-- I HAD A DINNER--
AND GOD BLESS HER-- RITA-- MY
409
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:47,412
WIFE-- RAN INTO PRESILLA
PRESSLEY THAT WE KNOW FROM A
410
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,039
FUNCTION IN LOS ANGELES.
411
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,457
AND SHE CAME TAKEOVER DINNER.
412
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:55,003
AND I WAS EXPECTING TO HEAR
STORIES ABOUT THE DISTRUST SHE
413
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,756
HAD FOR COLONEL TOM PARKER OVER
THESE MANY YEARS.
414
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,424
AND SHE SAID, NO, HE WAS A
WONDERFUL MAN.
415
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:02,427
AND I WISH HE WAS ALIVE TODAY.
416
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,262
HE TOOK REALLY GREAT CARE OF US.
417
00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:06,556
HE WAS A SCOUNDREL IN HIS WAY.
418
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:09,267
SO NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT COLONEL
TOM PARKER.
419
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:11,144
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
ELSE RIGHT NOW.
420
00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:12,771
HE DOESN'T LOOK A THING LIKE ME.
421
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:17,567
I WAS-- I AM-- I AM BURIED
UNDER-- LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE
422
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:21,697
PEOPLE THAT PLAYED GORILLAS IN
"PLANET OF THE APES" SPENT LESS
423
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,824
TIME IN THE MAKEUP CHAIR THAN I
DID ON THIS MOVIE.
424
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,284
>> Stephen: YOU AND RODDY
McDOWELL.
425
00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:30,956
>> IT WAS-- YOU KNOW, WITH THE
COCONUTS, YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF
426
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:31,498
COCONUT MOUTH THING.
427
00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:32,082
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THAT.
428
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,625
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THAT.
429
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:34,960
>> Stephen: HOW LONG WERE YOU
DOWN IN AUSTRALIA?
430
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,461
>> I WAS THERE FOR THE BETTER
PART OF 14 WEEKS.
431
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:40,173
>> Stephen: AND I UNDERSTAND
YOU CAME UP WITH A LITTLE
432
00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:43,802
TRICK-- BECAUSE I'VE SPENT SOME
TIME-- NOT IN AUSTRALIA, BUT
433
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:47,639
I'VE SPENT SOME TIME IN NEW
ZEALAND, AND IT'S HARD TO DO THE
434
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:50,642
MATH IN YOUR HEAD WHAT TIME IS
IT HERE AND WHEN SHOULD YOU
435
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:54,187
CALL, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE STILL
DOING A JOB IN THE STATES AND
436
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:55,313
HAVE TO DO MEETINGS.
437
00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:56,356
I UNDERSTAND YOU CAME UP WITH A
LITTLE TRICK TO KEEP IT
438
00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:57,607
STRAIGHT.
439
00:21:57,607 --> 00:22:00,152
>> TRYING TO KNOW WHEN TO CALL
THE WIFE AND KID WAS VERY TOUGH
440
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,486
SO YOU HAD TO SING A SONG.
441
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:05,449
AND IT ALTERED WHEN DAYLIGHT
SAVING TIME KICKED IN.
442
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:07,993
BEFORE DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME IT
WAS
443
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:11,496
♪ TAKE AWAY 5 AND FLIP
TAKE AWAY 5 AND FLIP ♪
444
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:17,586
BUT ANYWAY, WHEN DAYLIGHT SAVING
TIME CAME IT GOT A LITTLE
445
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:18,295
EASIER.
446
00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:19,504
IT WAS
♪ TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS
447
00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:25,844
AND FLIP IT
♪ TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS.
448
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:28,805
AND FLIP IT
♪ THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHAT TIME
449
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:32,559
IT IS IN L.A
♪ YOU TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS AND
450
00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:36,521
FLIP IT ♪
IF YOU WERE CALLING AT 10 A.M.
451
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:37,731
--
>> Stephen: 4.
452
00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:41,359
>> YOU TAKE AWAY SIX, WHICH WAS
4, BUT P.M. OF THE DAY BEFORE.
453
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,903
SEE HOW SIMPLE IT WAS?
454
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:43,862
I WAS CALLING FROM THE FUTURE.
455
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:44,905
>> Stephen: SURE.
456
00:22:44,905 --> 00:22:46,907
>> AND TELLING THEM WHAT IT WAS
GOING TO BE LIKE.
457
00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:47,783
>> Stephen: SURE.
458
00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:49,409
>> 10 A.M. WAS 4:00 P.M. THE DAY
BEFORE.
459
00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:55,332
>> Stephen: YOU HAD THIS-- YOU
COPYWROTE ALL OF THIS, I ASSUME.
460
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:58,502
>> ACTUALLY, I HAVE AUSTRALIAIAN
KIDS THAT ARE SINGING IT IN
461
00:22:58,502 --> 00:23:01,546
SCHOOL RIGHT NOW, RIGHT AFTER
THEIR PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO
462
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,215
THE LAND OF THE SOUTHERN CROSS.
463
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,050
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, TOM.
464
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,051
STICK AROUND.
465
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,637
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUCH
MORE TOM HANKS.
466
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:22,859
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HAY, EVERYBODY.
467
00:23:22,859 --> 00:23:24,569
WE'RE BACK WITH TOM HANKS.
468
00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:29,074
NOW, YOU'RE GIVING US A NEW
MOVIE FOR CHRISTMAS, "NEWS OF
469
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,242
THE WORLD."
470
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,911
AND IT'S SET FIVE YEARS AFTER
THE CIVIL WAR, AND YOU PLAY
471
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:34,746
SOMEONE NAMED CAPTAIN KIDD.
472
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:36,623
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MOVIE.
473
00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:42,254
IT'S SO RESONANT IN SOME WAYS OF
OUR COUNTRY RIGHT NOW.
474
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,506
TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT CAPTAIN
KIDD DID.
475
00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:45,590
WHAT'S HIS JOB?
476
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:51,263
>> CAPTAIN KIDD WAS THE ORIGINAL
PODCASTER.
477
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:58,770
HE-- HE READS THE NEWS IN TOWNS
THAT DO NOT HAVE NEWSPAPERS, NO
478
00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:00,063
CONNECTION WITH THE OUTSIDE
WORLD.
479
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:05,443
SO IN A PLACE LIKE DALLAS OR SAN
ANTONIO OR NEW ORLEANS, HE BUYS
480
00:24:05,443 --> 00:24:08,947
ALL THE NEWSPAPERS THAT CAN COME
FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD--
481
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:11,575
"THE LONDON TIMES" THE "BOSTON
HERALD," AS WELL AS LOCAL PAPERS
482
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:15,287
AND HE TELLS PEOPLE WHAT'S GOING
ON IN THE WORLD, RIGHT DOWN TO
483
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:19,124
HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE DEAD OF
RUBELLA OR SCARLET FEVER.
484
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,667
WHETHER THE RIVER IS RISING.
485
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:21,918
WHETHER THE FERRIES ARE OUT.
486
00:24:21,918 --> 00:24:26,339
BUT, ALSO, HE TALKS ABOUT A NEW
BASEBALL ORGANIZATION THAT IS
487
00:24:26,339 --> 00:24:31,178
NOW PAYING ITS PLAYERS IN THE--
IN THE GRAND METROPOLIS OF
488
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,387
CINCINNATI.
489
00:24:32,387 --> 00:24:33,763
A TEAM CALLED THE RED STOCKINGS
ARE GOING TO BE PROFESSIONAL
490
00:24:33,763 --> 00:24:39,603
PLAYERS OF THE GAME OF BASEBALL.
491
00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:42,647
AND THERE'S NOW AN EIGHT-STORY
BRICK BUILDING IN BOSTON THAT
492
00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:48,278
HAS A THING IN IT CALLED AN
ELEVATOR, WHICH IS AN AUTOMATED
493
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:51,990
LITTLE PORTICO THAT TAKES YOU UP
INSTEAD OF MAKING YOU WALK THE
494
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:53,200
STAIRS.
495
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,994
IT IS-- IT'S-- THERE ACTUALLY
WERE THESE GUYS THAT DID THIS,
496
00:24:55,994 --> 00:24:59,164
AND FOR 10 CENTS, YOU COULD SIT
AND LISTEN TO FABULOUS TELLS
497
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:00,957
FROM AROUND THE WORLD.
498
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:01,666
AND EXPERIENCE A SHOW AT THE
SAME TIME.
499
00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:04,127
THAT'S WHAT HE DOES.
500
00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:06,171
THAT'S WHAT HE DOES FOR A
LIVING.
501
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:07,714
AND THE ADVENTURE OF THE MOVIE,
HE COMES ACROSS A YOUNG GIRL WHO
502
00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:16,514
HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY BY THE KIOWA
TRIBE OF INDIANS AND RAISED AND
503
00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:20,018
HE HAS FOUND HER AND HE NEEDS TO
TAKE HER HOME TO WHATEVER FAMILY
504
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:21,186
SHE HAS.
505
00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:23,855
>> Stephen: ACROSS SOME PRETTY
ROUGH PARTS OF TEXAS AND THE
506
00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:29,569
THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT I HAVE
NEVER SEEN TOM HANKS ON
507
00:25:29,569 --> 00:25:30,528
HORSEBACK BEFORE.
508
00:25:30,528 --> 00:25:31,571
WE HAVE NEVER SEEN A TOM HANKS
WESTERN BEFORE.
509
00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:35,367
WHY DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO GET
YOU WITH A PISTOL?
510
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:39,663
>> BECAUSE THEY DON'T MAKE
WESTERNS, SIMPLE AS-- SIMPLE AS
511
00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:40,789
THAT.
512
00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:43,875
>> Stephen: THERE WAS A TIME
WHEN EVERY ACTOR HAD TO DO A
513
00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:44,376
WESTERN.
514
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:45,627
EVERYONE DID WESTERNS.
515
00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:50,048
>> YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME
WHEN SO MANY WESTERNS WERE MADE
516
00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:54,719
THAT ACTORS ALWAYS RODE THE SAME
HORSE IN EVERY WESTERN THEY
517
00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:55,679
MADE.
518
00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:58,139
YOU WANT TO HEAR A SHOW BIZ
STORY, STEPHEN.
519
00:25:58,139 --> 00:26:00,433
>> Stephen: I ALWAYS DO, I
ALWAYS DO.
520
00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:03,353
>> ALL RIGHT, I'M JUST GOING TO
THROW OUT A NAME.
521
00:26:03,353 --> 00:26:05,021
I'M GOING TO DROP A NAME NOW.
522
00:26:05,021 --> 00:26:07,857
YOU TELL ME IF YOU RECOGNIZE IT
OR NOT.
523
00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:08,483
JIMMY STEWART.
524
00:26:08,483 --> 00:26:11,569
YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE NAME?
525
00:26:11,569 --> 00:26:12,696
>> Stephen: I'VE SEEN SOME OF
THE WORK.
526
00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:15,782
>> THROUGH A FATE THAT IS
GRANDER THAN ANYTHING I EVER
527
00:26:15,782 --> 00:26:17,784
COULD HAVE IMAGINED IN MY LIFE,
I'M IN JIMMY STEWART'S HOUSE
528
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:22,706
GETTING MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH
HIM FOR ONE OF THE MANY
529
00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:24,708
INCARNATIONS OF "LIFE" MAGAZINE.
530
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:27,752
YEAH, I JUST DROPPED THAT.
531
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:28,920
THERE YOU GO.
532
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,046
>> Stephen: YEAH.
533
00:26:30,046 --> 00:26:33,133
>> SO HE'S SHOWING ME-- HE'S
SHOWING ME AROUND HIS-- HIS
534
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:34,384
LIVING ROOM, HIS PARLOR.
535
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:37,762
AND THERE IS NO SIGN OF JIMMY
STEWART THE MOVIE STAR ANYWHERE
536
00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:39,639
IN THIS THING.
537
00:26:39,639 --> 00:26:43,768
ACTUALLY, THERE IS-- THERE'S
SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF A MAN, A
538
00:26:43,768 --> 00:26:47,564
WOMAN, AND A DAUGHTER IN VARIOUS
PLACES AROUND THE WORLD IN
539
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:56,156
PICTURE FRAMES, AND IT'S-- IT'S
AN ELDERLY, BALDING MAN, AND--
540
00:26:56,156 --> 00:27:00,744
AND A WOMAN AND-- SORRY ABOUT
THAT.
541
00:27:00,744 --> 00:27:01,786
ANSWER THAT!
542
00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:02,662
( PHONE RINGING ).
543
00:27:02,662 --> 00:27:05,290
>> Stephen: DO YOU NEED TO
TAKE THAT?
544
00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:05,957
WE'LL WAIT.
545
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,834
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, IT'S THE...
546
00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:09,461
HOLD ON.
547
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,546
>> Stephen: HELLO, HELLO?
548
00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:12,088
>> HI.
549
00:27:12,088 --> 00:27:12,630
>> Stephen: YUP.
550
00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:13,757
>> OKAY, FINE, THANKS.
551
00:27:13,757 --> 00:27:16,760
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
552
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:20,180
( LAUGHING )
GOT IT.
553
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:21,473
>> WHERE WAS I?
554
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:24,976
THERE ARE NO SIGNS OF JIMMY
STEWART.
555
00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:25,977
EXCEPT HIM WITHOUT HIS PIECE.
556
00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:28,271
>> Stephen: NO, I DID NOT KNOW
HE HAD A PIECE.
557
00:27:28,271 --> 00:27:29,105
THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.
558
00:27:29,105 --> 00:27:32,150
>> JOHN WAYNE DID.
559
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:35,820
SO HE'S SHOWING ME THROUGH-- AND
THERE IS NO SIGN-- THERE'S MAYBE
560
00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:39,282
A LITTLE FIGURINE OF HARVEY THE
RABBIT, BUT OTHER THAN THAT,
561
00:27:39,282 --> 00:27:40,784
THERE'S NOTHING FROM A CAREER.
562
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:43,453
THERE'S NOTHING FROM A MOVIE.
563
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:46,373
THERE'S NOTHING FROM-- NOTHING
FROM "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE" OR
564
00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:47,499
WHATEVER.
565
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:50,460
BUT THERE'S A PICTURE-- THERE'S
A PAINTING OF A HORSE.
566
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:51,836
IT'S NOT BIG.
567
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:52,837
AND IT'S ABOUT THAT BIG.
568
00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:58,968
AND I SAY, "OH, HERE'S A
PAINTING OF A HORSE."
569
00:27:58,968 --> 00:28:05,850
AND JIMMY-- I CAN'T DO A GOOD
JIMMY STEWART, BUT HE SAID,
570
00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:09,813
"YEAH, YEAH, HENRY-- HANK FONDA
PAINTED THAT FOR ME.
571
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:12,357
HE PAINT, YOU KNOW.
572
00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:14,943
HANK LIKES TO PAINT AND FANCIES
HIMSELF AS A PAINTER.
573
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:18,655
AND WE MADE A COUPLE OF PICTURES
TOGETHER.
574
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:20,156
WE MADE A WESTERN."
575
00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:24,702
AND I SAID, "THE CHEYENNE SOCIAL
CLUB?"
576
00:28:24,702 --> 00:28:28,081
AND HE SAID, "YES, IT WAS THE
CHEYENNE SOCIAL CLUB."
577
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:31,709
AND THAT'S THE PICTURE OF MY
HORSE.
578
00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:35,672
AND I RODE THAT HORSE IN ALL MY
WESTERNS."
579
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:38,883
I SAID, "REALLY, YOU RODE THE
SAME."
580
00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:43,179
AND HE SAID, "YES, WE KEPT IT BY
GRIFFITH PARK.
581
00:28:43,179 --> 00:28:46,099
AND I RODE HIM IN ALL MY
WESTERNS.
582
00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:47,892
AND HENGRY WANTED TO GIVE ME
SOMETHING.
583
00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:49,561
HE JUST STARTED PAINTING.
584
00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:57,235
AND HE SAID, "JIMMY, I PAINTED A
PICTURE OF YOUR HORSE FOR YOU.
585
00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:58,903
I SAID, THANK YOU, THAT'S LOVELY
OF YOU.
586
00:28:58,903 --> 00:29:01,906
WE WERE ROOMMATES IN NEW YORK,
BACK IN THE DAY.
587
00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:03,450
HERE WE WERE.
588
00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:04,659
GAVE ME A WATERCOLOR.
589
00:29:04,659 --> 00:29:08,413
AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, A WEEK
AFTER HE GAVE ME THE PICTURE,
590
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:13,626
THE HORSE DIED."
591
00:29:13,626 --> 00:29:18,298
NOW, I'M SLAPPING MYSELF ON THE
SIDE OF THE HEAD FOR GETTING
592
00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:19,048
THIS STORY FROM-- FROM THE GUY.
593
00:29:19,048 --> 00:29:20,300
>> Stephen: YES.
594
00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:25,889
>> AND OF COURSE I THOUGHT OF--
MY HORSE IN THIS MOVIE WAS NAMED
595
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:26,473
WIMPY.
596
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:27,182
HE WAS A VERY GOOD HORSE.
597
00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:30,018
BUT HAVE-- DO YOU RIDE, STEPHEN?
598
00:29:30,018 --> 00:29:31,269
>> Stephen: WHEN I WAS A KID.
599
00:29:31,269 --> 00:29:35,440
I CAN-- I CAN GET-- I CAN PASS,
BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE
600
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:36,232
I'VE RIDDEN, YEAH.
601
00:29:36,232 --> 00:29:37,400
>> RIGHT, OKAY.
602
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,194
I THOUGHT I COULD PASS AS WELL.
603
00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:40,487
I COULD CLIMB UP ON A HORSE.
604
00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:43,865
THE THING YOU MIGHT NEED TO KNOW
IS IF THEY WANT TO, HORSES CAN
605
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,949
KILL YOU.
606
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:45,950
YOU KNOW --
>> Stephen: I AM AWARE.
607
00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:46,951
I HAVE BEEN DRAGGED BY A HORSE.
608
00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:48,661
SO I UNDERSTAND.
609
00:29:48,661 --> 00:29:49,996
>> THEY CAN KNOCK YOU OFF.
610
00:29:49,996 --> 00:29:54,292
THEY CAN DO ANY NUMBER OF
THINGS.
611
00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:57,086
SO WIMPY-- I WAS TOLD WIMPY WAS
A LOVER.
612
00:29:57,086 --> 00:29:58,338
HE LIKED INFECTION.
613
00:29:58,338 --> 00:30:03,301
SO I'D THROW MY ARMS AROUND HIM
EVERY MORNING AND SAY, "WHO'S A
614
00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:04,177
BIG WIMPY?
615
00:30:04,177 --> 00:30:08,139
WHO IS A GOOD HORSE?"
I WOULD KISS HIM.
616
00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:10,725
AND THEY HAVE THE EYES ON THE
SIDE OF THEIR HEAD, AND THEY
617
00:30:10,725 --> 00:30:13,978
WOULD JUST KIND OF LOOK AT YOU
LIKE THIS...
618
00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:16,648
YOU KNOW, THOSE BIG, DEEP BROWN
EYES.
619
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:20,318
AND I GOT THE DISTINCT FEELING
THAT WIMPY WAS DECIDE WHROOG TO
620
00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:22,153
PUT UP WITH ME TODAY.
621
00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:22,820
>> Stephen: SURE.
622
00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:23,821
>> YOU KNOW.
623
00:30:23,821 --> 00:30:25,782
AND BY AND LARGE HE DID.
624
00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:26,658
BY AND LARGE.
625
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,701
AND I ACTED LIKE I KNEW WHAT I
WAS DOING.
626
00:30:28,701 --> 00:30:30,995
I LEARNED HOW TO RIDE, WHICH IS
GREAT.
627
00:30:30,995 --> 00:30:33,957
WIMPY WAS A REAL HORSE.
628
00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:37,961
BUT IT ADDS-- IT AS A WHOLE
DIFFERENT-- DIFFERENT THING TO
629
00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:40,004
THE DAY, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE
WIMPY'S GOT TO BE INTO IT A
630
00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:41,256
LITTLE BIT.
631
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:44,467
>> Stephen: AND YOU'VE GOT TO
MATCH THE RHYTHM OF THAT HORSE.
632
00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:46,803
WHATEVER THE HORSE'S RHYTHM IS
THAT DAY, THAT'S YOUR RHYTHM.
633
00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:47,845
>> YEAH, YEAH.
634
00:30:47,845 --> 00:30:51,349
AND WIMPY-- HE DOESN'T LIKE
WALKING IN FAKE RAIN.
635
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:53,893
HE DOESN'T LIKE WALKING IN FAKE
MUD.
636
00:30:53,893 --> 00:30:55,061
BUT HE DOES, YOU KNOW.
637
00:30:55,061 --> 00:30:57,146
BUT YOU JUST GOTTA COAX HIM
ALONG A LITTLE BIT.
638
00:30:57,146 --> 00:31:01,025
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU GUYS
STAYED IN TOUCH?
639
00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:03,945
>> WIMPY AND I FACETIMED JUST
EARLIER TODAY.
640
00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:04,862
>> Stephen: GOOD, GOOD.
641
00:31:04,862 --> 00:31:07,574
>> HE'S GOT THAT-- HE GOT THAT
BIG HOOK --
642
00:31:07,574 --> 00:31:09,576
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ON ZOOM.
643
00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:11,035
YOU'RE ON MUTE!
644
00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:11,703
WIMPY, YOU'RE ON MUTE.
645
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:15,164
>> HE DOES THAT ALL THE TIME.
646
00:31:15,164 --> 00:31:17,875
"WIMPY, WIMPY, WIMPY."
647
00:31:17,875 --> 00:31:19,002
I POINT ON THE MICROPHONE.
648
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:22,088
>> Stephen: TOM, I AM TOLD WE
HAVE A CLIP HERE.
649
00:31:22,088 --> 00:31:23,548
>> THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS CLIP.
650
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:27,093
THIS IS A MOMENT WHERE SOME
EXTREMELY BAD GUYS ARE
651
00:31:27,093 --> 00:31:34,017
THREATENING MYSELF AND MY
CHARGE, WHO IS PLAYED BY HELENA
652
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:36,811
ZENGEL, A FABULOUS YOUNG WOMAN
WHO IS AN EXTRAORDINARY ACTRESS
653
00:31:36,811 --> 00:31:37,645
AT THE SAME TIME.
654
00:31:37,645 --> 00:31:40,231
AND THIS IS US DEALING WITH A
PROBLEM.
655
00:31:40,231 --> 00:31:41,024
>> Stephen: JIM.
656
00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:47,697
>> YOU'RE GOOD FOR A MAN OF
YEARS!
657
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:51,409
MAKES YOU SO DAMN TIRED!
658
00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:55,288
FOR IT TO END LIKE THIS WHEN YOU
CAN JUST JOIN US!
659
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:57,081
RICH PICKINGS FOR SOME.
660
00:31:57,081 --> 00:32:07,091
SLIM PICKINGS FOR THE REST OF
US.
661
00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:13,097
SLIM PICKINGS FOR THE REST OF
US.
662
00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:14,557
>> YOU GO.
663
00:32:14,557 --> 00:32:17,435
TAKE THE HORSES AND GO!
664
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:22,398
I SHOOT, YOU GO.
665
00:32:22,398 --> 00:32:23,608
>> THERE YOU GO.
666
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:26,736
YOU KNOW IT'S A WESTERN WHEN ONE
OF THE LINES OF DIALOGUE IS,
667
00:32:26,736 --> 00:32:28,780
"YOU TAKE THE HORSES AND GO."
668
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:31,115
THAT'S-- THAT'S-- YOU'RE
MAKING-- YOU'RE MAKING A
669
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:31,741
WESTERN.
670
00:32:31,741 --> 00:32:34,452
UN, I WILL TELL YOU THIS.
671
00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:37,330
I'VE NEVER MET AN OLDER ACTOR
WHO MADE-- WHO HAD BEEN IN THE
672
00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:42,627
BUSINESS FOR A WHILE THAT WOULD
NOT WALK THROUGH HELL-- WALK
673
00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:45,129
THROUGH HELL IN A GASOLINE SUIT
TO MAKE A WESTERN.
674
00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:47,799
YOU ARE OUTSIDE ALL DAY LONG.
675
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:48,549
YOU'RE IN THE ELEMENTS.
676
00:32:48,549 --> 00:32:49,926
THE WARDROBE IS FANTASTIC.
677
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:51,135
THE PEOPLE ARE GREAT.
678
00:32:51,135 --> 00:32:54,305
AND YOU-- I MEAN, WE SHOT THAT
UP ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF THAT
679
00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:56,140
WAS VERY DIFFICULT TO GET UP TO.
680
00:32:56,140 --> 00:33:01,270
AND THEN WE DID WHAT WAS
REQUIRED, AND TALKED ABOUT
681
00:33:01,270 --> 00:33:02,480
HORSES.
682
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,190
>> Stephen: TOM, WE HAVE TO
TAKE A BREAK FOR THIS WORD FROM
683
00:33:04,190 --> 00:33:06,651
OUR SPONSORS, BUT STICK AROUND,
EVERYBODY.
684
00:33:06,651 --> 00:33:07,652
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
TOM HANKS.
685
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:29,632
WE'RE BACK WITH TOM HANKS.
686
00:33:29,632 --> 00:33:33,970
DISNEY IS REBOOTING "TOURNEY AND
HOOCH."
687
00:33:33,970 --> 00:33:37,014
>> AND THEY DIDN'T CALL ME!
688
00:33:37,014 --> 00:33:39,517
>> Stephen: YOU COULD PLAY
HOOCH.
689
00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:42,228
YOU COULD STILL PLAY HOOCH AT
THIS POINT.
690
00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:47,900
>> LISTEN, THERE IS NO "TURNER
AND HOOCH" WITHOUT A HOOCH.
691
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:50,027
I DON'T KNOW WHO DID IT.
692
00:33:50,027 --> 00:33:53,239
ACTUALLY, THEY HAD-- THEY HAD
SENT TO ME PHOTOS FOR APPROVAL.
693
00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:57,368
THEY SAID, "HEY, WE NEED THESE
APPROVALS OF YOU BECAUSE YOU
694
00:33:57,368 --> 00:33:58,536
PLAYED TURNER."
695
00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:00,163
WHAT THEY WERE-- THEY LOOKED
LIKE MAGAZINE PICTURES THAT HAD
696
00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:04,751
JUST HAD MY HEAD CUT OUT AND PUT
ON THEM.
697
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:07,170
AND I SAID, "I'M NOT GOING TO
OKAY THIS.
698
00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:08,421
THIS IS RIDICULOUS."
699
00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:12,216
THEN THEY HAD TO EXPLAIN TO ME,
"THIS IS JUST TO PUT IN PICTURE
700
00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:14,093
FRAMES IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE
SET."
701
00:34:14,093 --> 00:34:16,053
>> Stephen: WHAT A SECOND!
702
00:34:16,053 --> 00:34:18,431
SO IT'S A CONTINUATION?
703
00:34:18,431 --> 00:34:21,601
SO LITERALLY-- IS YOUR CHARACTER
DEAD OR SOMETHING?
704
00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:24,312
WHY ARE YOU-- IT'S NOT A REBOOT,
IT'S A CONTINUATION?
705
00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:28,608
>> I'M GOING TO ASSUME THAT MY
CHARACTER, WHOEVER TURNER IS,
706
00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:30,610
HAS A HELMET THAT HE NEVER
REMOVED.
707
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:34,363
SO THEY DON'T KNOW IF IT'S ME
OR-- OR NOT.
708
00:34:34,363 --> 00:34:37,533
>> Stephen: I KNOW YOU LOVE
TYPE WRITERS-- THIS IS THE LAST
709
00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:39,243
QUESTION AND I WANT TO ASK YOU
THIS ONE.
710
00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:41,746
I HAVE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET A
COUPLE OF LETTERS FROM YOU OVER
711
00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:43,039
THE YEARS.
712
00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:45,625
IT'S ALWAYS ON VERY NICE STOCK,
OFTEN, LIKE, BROWN PAPER, ALMOST
713
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:49,587
LIKE THE PAPER BAG FROM A
GROCERY STORE BROWN PAPER, VERY
714
00:34:49,587 --> 00:34:52,757
WARM, VERY NICE, ALMOST WANTED
TO PAINT WATERCOLOR ON IT.
715
00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:53,925
>> YOU COULD.
716
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:56,552
>> Stephen: DO YOU ALWAYS DO
THE TYPING, OR DOES SOMEONE ELSE
717
00:34:56,552 --> 00:34:59,055
TYPE ON YOUR TYPEWRITERS?
718
00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:00,556
>> I DO THE TYPING, STEPHEN.
719
00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:02,099
>> Stephen: AND YOU TRAVEL
WITH THEM.
720
00:35:02,099 --> 00:35:04,268
THE NEXT QUESTION IS, "DO YOU
TRAVEL WITH THEM?"
721
00:35:04,268 --> 00:35:06,771
>> BUDDY, I TRAVEL WITH TWO.
722
00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:09,482
I USE THEM LIKE CUFF LINKS.
723
00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:10,107
NOW, CHECK THIS OUT.
724
00:35:10,107 --> 00:35:11,234
CHECK THIS OUT.
725
00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:13,945
MY SON-- MY SON BOUGHT THIS FOR
ME.
726
00:35:13,945 --> 00:35:16,823
HE SAW IT FOR SALE IN A STORE.
727
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,241
>> Stephen: $125.
728
00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:19,867
>> THIS IS WHAT IT SAID.
729
00:35:19,867 --> 00:35:20,827
HOLD ON.
730
00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:24,288
IT SAID-- OH, DANG IT.
731
00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:26,123
"$125, NOT A TOY."
732
00:35:26,123 --> 00:35:27,458
THAT'S RIGHT.
733
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:29,710
>> Stephen: "PLEASE ASK FOR
HELP."
734
00:35:29,710 --> 00:35:32,588
>> YOU SEE THAT, 125 BUCKS,
BUDDY.
735
00:35:32,588 --> 00:35:34,340
AFTER I OWN THIS FOR A COUPLE OF
YEARS AND PUT MY SIGNATURE ON
736
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:39,762
IT, YOU CAN CHANGE THAT $125 TO
$128.
737
00:35:39,762 --> 00:35:41,973
IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH $128.
738
00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:43,933
>> Stephen: I'LL GIVE YOU
$129.
739
00:35:43,933 --> 00:35:44,475
IT'S MY BEST AND FINAL.
740
00:35:44,475 --> 00:35:45,184
>> OH, MAN!
741
00:35:45,184 --> 00:35:47,144
THAT'S HUGE!
742
00:35:47,144 --> 00:35:51,816
FOUR BUCKS IN MY POCKET.
743
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:56,070
IT'S $120, STEPHEN, SEND CASH.
744
00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:57,321
>> Stephen: "NEWS OF THE WORLD"
IS IN THEATERS ON CHRISTMAS AND
745
00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:58,322
ON VIDEO ON DEMAND JANUARY 15.
746
00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:00,616
>> OH, THAT'S THE DATE?
747
00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:02,326
>> Stephen: THAT'S THE DATE.
748
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:07,456
HEY, THAT'S THE "NEWS OF THE
WORLD," TOM HANKS.
749
00:36:07,456 --> 00:36:09,625
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY LESLIE ODOM JR.
750
00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:10,835
>> OH, EXCELLENT!
751
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:11,294
>> Stephen: ISN'T THAT NICE?
752
00:36:11,294 --> 00:36:12,253
GOOD SHOW.
753
00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:13,713
HANKS AND LESLIE ODOM JR.
♪ ♪ ♪
754
00:36:40,364 --> 00:36:43,326
"O HOLY NIGHT," FROM "THE
CHRISTMAS ALBUM,"
755
00:36:43,326 --> 00:36:44,577
LESLIE ODOM JR.!
756
00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:59,717
♪ O HOLY NIGHT
THE STARS ARE BRIGHTLY SHINING
757
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:09,352
♪ IT IS THE NIGHT
OF OUR DEAR SAVIOUR'S BIRTH
758
00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:19,695
♪ LONG LAY THE WORLD
IN SIN AND ERROR PINING
759
00:37:19,695 --> 00:37:27,703
♪ 'TIL HE APPEARED
AND THE SOUL FELT ITS WORTH
760
00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:33,292
♪ A THRILL OF HOPE
THE WEARY WORLD REJOICES
761
00:37:33,292 --> 00:37:43,636
♪ FOR YONDER BREAKS
A NEW AND GLORIOUS MORN
762
00:37:43,636 --> 00:37:55,773
♪ FALL ON YOUR KNEES
HEAR THE ANGEL VOICES
763
00:37:55,773 --> 00:38:05,783
♪ O NIGHT DIVINE
O NIGHT WHEN CHRIST WAS BORN
764
00:38:05,783 --> 00:38:11,747
♪ O NIGHT DIVINE
O NIGHT WHEN CHRIST WAS BORN
765
00:38:11,747 --> 00:38:21,799
♪ O NIGHT, DIVINE
O NIGHT, O NIGHT DIVINE
766
00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:27,346
♪ O NIGHT, DIVINE
O NIGHT, O NIGHT DIVINE
767
00:38:27,346 --> 00:38:39,400
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
768
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:49,493
♪ O NIGHT DIVINE
O NIGHT WHEN CHRIST WAS BORN
769
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:55,833
♪ O NIGHT DIVINE
O NIGHT WHEN CHRIST WAS BORN
770
00:38:55,833 --> 00:39:07,845
♪ O NIGHT
O NIGHT, YEAH, DIVINE
771
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:17,855
♪ O NIGHT, O NIGHT DIVINE ♪
O NIGHT DIVINE ♪
772
00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:31,494
♪ O NIGHT, O NIGHT DIVINE ♪
O NIGHT DIVINE ♪
773
00:39:31,494 --> 00:39:31,994
>> Stephen: LESLIE ODOM JR.,
EVERYBODY!
774
00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:32,787
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
775
00:39:46,926 --> 00:39:50,054
LATE SHOW."
776
00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:52,056
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE PRESIDENT-ELECT
777
00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:55,935
JOSEPH R. BIDEN AND DR. JILL
BIDEN.
778
00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:56,310
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
779
00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,312
GOOD NIGHT.
780
00:40:01,774 --> 00:40:06,195
Captioning sponsored by CBS
Captioned by
781
00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:13,744
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
782
00:40:13,744 --> 00:40:23,921
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
783
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:24,213
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪