Captioning sponsored by CBS
>> TODAY, PRESIDENT TRUMP WILL PARDON ONE OF TWO IOWA TURKEYS NAMED CORN AND COB.
>> WE TALKED LAST WEEK ABOUT
WHETHER DONALD TRUMP MIGHT
PARDON HIMSELF.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> >> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
AND MUSICAL GUEST BRITTANY
HOWARD
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HOMIN'.
ARE ARE AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW." I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT,
I'M FLAD TO BE YOUR HOST
TONIGHT, ALL NIGHTS, BUT
PARTICULARLY TONIGHT IS AN
HISTORICAM NIGHT IN THE ANNALS
OF TELEVISION.
TONIGHT IS THE FIRST NIGHT I AM
SITTING DOWN WITH A GUEST IN
PERSON "THE LATE SHOW""
AND WHO ELSE DO YOU WANT TO
BREAK THAT SEAL WITH BUT
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
THAT'S RIGHT, BARACK OBAMA, MY
GUEST TONIGHT.
THREE ACTS?
THREE ACTS OF BARACK OBAMA.
AND YOU GO, "IS THAT-- SEEMS
LIKE A LONG TIME"
NO, IT'S NOT.
YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY IT
FLIES.
FIRST ACT, OBVIOUSLY, JUST
FRIENDS HANGING OUT.
POWER PACKED THOUGH, AND REALLY
SUBSTANTIVE.
NEXT ACT WE'RE GOING TO MOVE
SOME PAPER.
WE'RE GOG SELL SOME BOOKS.
SUPER FUN AT THE SAME TIME.
THEN THE THIRD ACT, WE PLAY
BASKETBALL.
THAT'S HISTORIC.
THAT IS AN HISTORIC GAME.
WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE RESULTS.
AND, YES, THERE WAS SOME
WAGERING.
ANYWAY, HOW MANY QUESTIONS DID I
GET IN?
>> THREE.
>> Stephen: THREE QUESTIONS,
20 MINUTES.
HE WAS VERY GRACIOUS.
THANK YOU AGAIN, MR. PRESIDENT,
FOR SITTING DOWN WITH US.
YOU KNOW WHO HE IS MARRIED TO,
THAT MICHELLE OBAMA.
THAT WOULD BE A GREAT GUEST.
THAT, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT
GUEST.
NOT THAT HE'S NOT A GOOD GUEST.
HE'S A GREAT GUEST, BUT
EVERYBODY LOVES HER.
I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON-- IS
THAT TOO LONG A PAUSE?
I WAS JUST INSPIRED BY THE
PRESIDENT.
IT WAS AN OBAMA-ESQUE PAUSE.
I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON AN
HISTORIC DAY FOR FANS OF
CAPITALISM, BECAUSE FOR THE
FIRST TIME EVER, THE DOW HIT
30,000.
WOW!
THAT IS IS... SO MANY OF THEM.
OF THE DOW... POWNTS?
IS IT DOW POINTS.
DOWELLINGS.
IS IT DOW DROPS.
DOW UNITS.
30,000 DOWS, DOWELLINGS.
LET ME PUT IT IN LEHMAN'S TERMS.
IF YOU PUT ALL 30,000 OF THOSE
DOW POINTS END TO END, IT WOULD
STRETCH ALL THE WAY TO THE S&P
500.
I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY
ARE.
I THINK EACH DOW IS
LIKE A TICKET AT CHUCK E.
CHEESE.
WHEN IT WAS AT 25,000, AMERICA
COULD GET A STUFFED BUNNY.
NOW WE'RE AT 30,000, AND WE
COULD GO FOR THE BEAR OR THE BIG
LION, OR THE FULL-SIZED
FOOTBALL.
ANYWAY, WHATEVER THEY ARE, IT'S
A LOT OF THEM.
SO, TO EVERYONE WHO WORKS ON
WALL STREET, CONGRATULATIONS.
AND TO EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T WORK
ON WALL STREET, GOOD LUCK WITH
THAT.
NEVER ONE TO PASS UP AN
OPPORTUNITY TO GLOAT FOR
SOMETHING HE'S NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR, THE PRESIDENT HELD AN
IMPROMPTU PRESS CONFERENCE TO
CONGRATULATE HIMSELF FOR THE
DOW JONES NUMBERS GOING BIG ON
THE MONEY CHART.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND I
JUST WANT TO CONGRATULATE
EVERYBODY.
THE STOCK MARKET, DOW JONES
INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE JUST HIT
30,000, WHICH IS THE HIGHEST IN
HISTORY.
THE STOCK MARKET'S JUST BROKEN
30,000, NEVER BEEN BROKEN, THAT
NUMBER.
THAT IS A SACRED NUMBER, 30,000.
>> Stephen: YES, A SACRED
NUMBER.
AS JESUS HIMSELF SAID, "BLESSED
BE THE NUMBER 30,000, FOR, MAN,
THAT'S A LOT OF WHATEVER IT IS
YOU'RE COUNTING.
SHEEP?
WHAT ELSE DO WE OWN AROUND HERE?
NOTHING."
GOTTA BE SHEEP.
THEN, JUST ONE MINUTE AND 15
SECONDS AFTER THE PRESS
CONFERENCE STARTED, IT TURNED
OUT IT WASN'T A PRESS
CONFERENCE.
IT WAS JUST A BRAG 'N DASH,
BECAUSE HE LEFT WITHOUT TAKING
ANY QUESTIONS.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU.
(CROSSTALK)
(REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS)
>> MR. PRESIDENT--
>> SIR, WHY NOT... FOR THE GOOD
OF THE COUNTRY, SIR.
( BLEEP )
>> Stephen: STIRRING WORDS THAT
SOMEDAY, NO DOUBT, WILL GRACE
THE FACADE OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL
LIBRARY.
THIS WAS A RARE POTUS SIGHTING.
SINCE THE ELECTION, HE'S MADE
FEW PUBLIC APPEARANCES.
HE KNOWS THAT IF HE COMES OUT OF
HIS BUNKER AND SEES HIS SHADOW,
HE'LL ONLY HAVE SIX MORE WEEKS
OF PRESIDENT.
BUT TODAY, HE HAD A PRESSING
MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY: THE
ANNUAL TURKEY PARDON.
THIS YEAR'S STAR TURKEYS WERE
NAMED CORN AND COB.
WE HAVE SOME FOOTAGE OF THEM
ARRIVING IN D.C. FOR THEIR BIG
DAY.
HERE THEY ARE ARRIVING AT THE
ICONIC WILLARD HOTEL, GREETING
THEIR THRONGS OF FANS, AND THEN
RELAXING IN SOME PLUSH BEDS,
WHERE THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR
PRIVILEGE DURING AN EXPLODING
HOMELESS CRISIS.
OUR SOON-TO-BE FORMER LEADER
MADE IT CLEAR HOW FORTUNATE THE
PARDONED BIRD WAS.
>> NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE MOMENT
OF OUR GUESTS OF HONOR.
THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING.
AND, IN THIS CASE, HE HAS BEEN
WAITING FOR THIS.
BRING THEM OUT.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL BIRD.
OH, SO LUCKY.
THAT IS A LUCKY BIRD.
>> Stephen: YES, IT'S A LUCKY,
LUCKY BIRD... TO HAVE A BETTER
LEGAL TEAM THAN THE PRESIDENT.
THEN HE SAID THE WORDS THAT SO
MANY WHO HAVE WORKED FOR THIS
ADMINISTRATION HAVE LONGED TO
HEAR:
>> I HEREBY GRANT YOU A FULL
PARDON.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU HAVE IT--
AN INNOCENT TURKEY PARDONED BY A
LAME DUCK.
AND HE JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT LAMER BECAUSE LAST NIGHT, THE GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
FINALLY DECLARED THAT BIDEN CAN
BEGIN HIS TRANSITION.
HIS TRANSITION, EVEN THOUGH THE
CURRENT PRESIDENT STILL HASN'T
CONCEDED, AND HE'S NOT HAPPY
ABOUT IT.
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT'S EXCITING INSTALLMENT
OF...
( TO TUNE OF "JINGLE BELLS" )
♪ SCREW YOURSELF
SCREW YOURSELF
♪ I WON'T GO AWAY ♪
>> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE
HOUSE."
>> Stephen: WHEN THINGS GO WRONG
FOR THE PRESIDENT, HE LOOKS DEEP
INSIDE AND TRIES TO UNDERSTAND
WHO HE'S GOING TO BLAME.
IN THIS CASE, THE NEEDLE LANDED
ON HIS PERSONAL ATTORNEY AND
BILBO POSSESSED BY THE ONE RING,
RUDY GIULIANI.
AFTER RUDY'S DISASTROUS PRESS
CONFERENCE LAST WEEK, AIDES SAY
THE PRESIDENT STARTED TO WORRY
THAT HIS LEGAL TEAM "IS COMPOSED
OF FOOLS THAT ARE MAKING HIM
LOOK BAD."
NO, SIR, THAT'S YOUR HAIR AND
MAKEUP TEAM.
BUT ONE OF THE KEY CONFIDENCE
KILLERS COULD HAVE BEEN WHEN
RUDY HAD THIS LITERAL MELTDOWN.
EVEN IF IT'S CLOSE TO
THANKSGIVING, THE PRESIDENT
DOESN'T WANT A LAWYER WHO MAKES
HIS OWN GRAVY.
NOW, IT MAY BE HARD TO IMAGINE,
BUT RUDY WASN'T ALWAYS THE TROLL
LIVING UNDER AMERICA'S BRIDGE.
JUST 18 YEARS AGO, HE WAS ALMOST
UNIVERSALLY HAILED AS A NATIONAL
HERO.
IN FACT, THIS MORNING, THE
INTERNET UPCHUCKED A NEWLY
REDISCOVERED CLIP OF A 2003 RUDY
BIOPIC FEATURING ACTOR AND GUY
ON THE SUBWAY WHO KEEPS
MENTIONING THE SEAT NEXT TO HIM
IS FREE, JAMES WOODS.
WOODS-- 1600 ON HIS S.A.T.s,
JUST ASK HIM AND HE'LL TELL
YOU-- UNIRONICALLY PORTRAYED
GIULIANI AS A ROMANTIC IDEALIST.
HERE'S JUST A TASTE.
>> THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT
ME.
MY DAD AND MY OTHER HEROES:
WINSTON CHURCHILL, BOBBY KENNEDY
>> DEMOCRATS.
>> AS I ONCE WAS.
>> WHY'D YOU SWITCH?
>> YOU KNOW, DEMOCRATS ALWAYS
TALKED ABOUT THINGS GETTING
BETTER.
REPUBLICANS DID WHATEVER THEY
COULD TO MAKE THEM BETTER.
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR,
RIGHT?
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: THEY WOULD HAVE PAID
FOR BETTER WRITING, BUT THEY
BLEW THE WHOLE BUDGET ON THAT
WINDOWS 98 SCREENSAVER OF THE
OCEAN BEHIND HIM.
NOW, THE ACTUAL TITLE OF THAT
MOVIE IS "RUDY: THE RUDY
GIULIANI STORY."
SEEMS A LITTLE REDUNDANT, BUT
THEN AGAIN, ALL THE BEST MOVIES
DRIVE HOME THEIR SUBJECT MATTER.
THAT'S WHY MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS
"STAR WARS: A STAR WARS STORY."
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THAT SCENE IS
HOW REALISTICALLY IT PORTRAYS
THE ROMANCE OF TALKING ABOUT
REPUBLICAN POLICY RIGHT BEFORE
YOU MAKE OUT.
HOLLYWOOD DOES IT ALL THE TIME
IN LOVE SCENES:
>> I'M ALSO JUST A GIRL,
STANDING IN FRONT OF A BOY,
ASKING HIM TO TAKE AWAY--
>> HER BODILY AUTONOMY.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ HOLY INFANT SO ♪
>> YOU COMPLETE ME.
I'M NOT JUST--
>> SHUT UP.
JUST SHUT UP.
YOU HAD ME AT--
>> OPPORTUNITY ZONES.
>> Stephen: I GOT ALL TEARED
UP THERE.
SO, WITH THE PRESIDENT
DISTANCING HIMSELF
FROM THE NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT
THAT IS RUDY GIULIANI, HE'S
LOOKING TO ALIGN HIMSELF WITH A
MORE REPUTABLE FIGURE: ACTOR AND
GUY IN THE MARKET FOR A USED
WATERBED, RANDY QUAID.
QUAID, OF COURSE, IS MOST FAMOUS
FOR TRYING TO ERECT A RANDY
QUAID MUSEUM, OR CLAIMING HE'S
"ON THE RUN" FROM A
CELEBRITY-KILLING ORGANIZATION
CALLED THE "HOLLYWOOD STAR
WHACKERS," OR SHOWING UP IN
COURT WEARING A SHERIFF'S BADGE,
OR POSTING DISTURBING SEX TAPES
IN WHICH HE AND HIS WIFE ARE
HAVING INTERCOURSE BELOW A
PICTURE OF RUPERT MURDOCH.
OBVIOUSLY, RANDY'S A BUSY GUY--
BARELY HAS TIME TO BUY AND SELL
URINE ON CRAIGSLIST.
AND, TURNS OUT, QUAID HAS BEEN A
LONGTIME MAGA MAN, AND THIS
MORNING, THE PRESIDENT REPAID
HIS LOYALTY BY RETWEETING
SEVERAL OF RANDY QUAID'S
POLITICAL OPINIONS SUCH AS THIS
ONE:
"WE'VE LOST CONFIDENCE IN THE
SYSTEM THAT ELECTS OUR LEADERS.
79 MILLION AMERICANS BELIEVE
ELECTION WAS RIGGED, THE RESULTS
FRAUDULENT.
WE NEED AN IN-PERSON-ONLY PAPER
BALLOT RE-VOTE, ESPECIALLY IN
THE STATES WHERE FLAGRANT
IRREGULARITIES HAVE OCCURRED.
NO ACCURACY, NO DEMOCRACY!"
TO WHICH THE PRESIDENT ADDED
"ARE YOU LISTENING,
REPUBLICANS?"
NO.
THE ONLY PERSON LISTENING TO
RANDY QUAID IS HIS THERAPIST,
WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, IS AN
OLD BOOT HE PUT A HAT ON.
QUAID ALSO GOT A RETWEET TODAY
FROM THE PRESIDENT FOR HIS
AWARD-WINNING PRO-ADMINISTRATION
MONOLOGUE FROM LAST YEAR.
>> IS THIS THE WAY AMERICA GOES?
FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO GEORGE
SOROS?
WAKE UP, YOU SLEEPING GIANT.
THE LILLIPUTIANS THAT TIE YOU
DOWN WITH THEIR FANTASTIC DREAMS
OF ICEBERGS MELTING INTO
DINOSAURS AND TRAIN TRACKS
STRETCHING ACROSS THE PACIFIC
WATERS.
TRUMP TRUMPETS REVELING, AND
IT'S TIME TO HEED THE CALL.
>> Stephen: "THANK YOU, MR.
QUAID, BUT THIS IS AN AUDITION
FOR A PROCESSED BEEF STICK.
SO IF YOU COULD JUST SNAP INTO
THE SLIM JIM AND NOT MENTION THE
TRILATERAL COMMISSION."
THAT WOULD BE GREAT."
THAT'S THE MORE TONED-DOWN OF
THE TWO RANDY QUAID MONOLOGUES
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES RETWEETED TODAY.
HERE'S THE BANANAS ONE:
>> FOX NEWS DAYTIME RATINGS HAVE
COMPLETELY COLLAPSED, WEEKEND
DAYTIME, EVEN WORSE.
VERY SAD TO WATCH THIS HAPPEN.
THEY FORGOT WHAT MADE THEM
SUCCESSFUL, WHAT GOT THEM THERE.
THEY FORGOT THE GOLDEN GOOSE.
>> Stephen: I BELIEVE HE'S
USING WHAT'S KNOWN AS "MOOD
LIGHTING."
THE MOOD?
PEYOTE BENDER.
AS CRAZY AS THAT LAST VIDEO IS,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, QUAID WAS
JUST GIVING A DRAMATIC READING
OF A TWEET FROM THE PRESIDENT.
SO, A CRAZY GUY RETWEETED
ANOTHER CRAZY GUY PERFORMING THE
FIRST CRAZY GUY'S CRAZY TWEET.
IT'S A MOBIUS MESS.
IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO
TODDLERS TRY TO CHANGE EACH
OTHER'S DIAPERS, BUT SOMEHOW,
IT'S EVEN MORE FULL OF CRAP.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST, IN CASE I HAVEN'T
MENTIONED IT, IS PRESIDENT
BARACK OBAMA.
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND,
MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON!
>> Jon: HELLO.
WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOU?
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS,
TWO GRAMMY NOMINATIONS TODAY!
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
OH, I'M SO GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL
THAT THE MUSIC IS CONNECTING
WITH PEOPLE AND ADDING TO
PEOPLE'S LIVES.
>> Stephen: WELL BE DESERVED.
YOU AND WORRY WONG.
THAT'S THE NAME OF THAT ALBUM.
>> Jon: "MEDITATIONS."
"MEDICATIONS.
AND "CHRONOLOGY OF A DREAM."
YOU WERE THERE.
>> Stephen: I WAS THERE.
AS A MATTER OF FACT I WAS JUST
LISTENING TO THE VERY THOUGHT OF
YOU, YOU AND RACHEL, THIS
WEEKEND.
AMAZING.
>> Jon: OH, YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT MY
VOTE.
>> Jon: HEY, NOW, LET'S GET
IT!
COME ON!
>> Stephen: LET'S SWING THIS
ONE.
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.
>> Sephen: HEY, STICK AROUND,
I'M ABOUT TO INTERVIEW BARACK
OBAMA.
I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT.
>> Jon: I HEARD, I HEARD.
I THINK I WILL.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
EVERYBODY.
>> Jon: LATER ON.
>> Stephen: THANKS, JON.
FOLKS, YESTERDAY, I HAD THE
HONOR TO SIT DOWN WITH OUR 44th
PRESIDENT, BARACK OBAMA, WHOSE
NEW BOOK, "A PROMISED LAND," IS
OUT NOW.
JIM?
WELL, PRESIDENT OBAMA, THANK YOU
SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME TODAY.
>> IT IS WONDERFUL TO BE HERE.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO SEE
YOU.
>> IT IS GOOD-- IT IS GOOD TO BE
SEEN.
I'VE BEEN SEEING YOU ON
TELEVISION, BUT IT'S GOOD TO SEE
YOU IN PERSON.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
ARE YOU-- ARE YOU-- ARE YOU 18
AND 54?
>> I'M NOT THE DEMOGRAPHIC YOU
ARE LOOKING FOR.
>> Stephen: IT DOESN'T COUNT.
I APOLOGIZE, IT DOESN'T COUNT.
>> MICHELLE SAYS HEY.
>> Stephen: GOOD.
>> YOU KNOW SHE LOVES YOU.
>> Stephen: I HAVE REALLY
ENJOYED SPENDING TIME WITH HER
OVER THE LAST FOUR YEARS.
>> I KNOW, AND SHE ADORS YOU.
SHE THINKS THE WORLD OF YOU.
I THINK YOU'RE OKAY.
>> Stephen: CAN WE JUST TAKE
MOMENT-- I CAN JUST-- AND I WANT
TO TALK.
I JUST WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO
DRINK YOU IN FOR JUST A MOMENT.
BECAUSE I'M HAVING TO GET USED
TO LOOKING AT A PRESIDENT.
( LAUGHING )
AGAIN.
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF--
I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF THE HABIT.
I HAVE TO WARM UP FOR JOE BIDEN.
I DON'T WANT TO PULL ANYTHING
WHEN I SEE HIM TAKE THE OATH OF
OFFICE.
YOU HAVE TO EASE ME INTO THIS A
LITTLE BIT.
>> JOE'S GOING TO BE AGREEMENT.
>> Stephen: I HAVE NO DOUBT.
>> AND KAMALA IS GOING TO BE
GREAT.
THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE BIG
CHALLENGES AHEAD, BUT, YOU KNOW,
WE'VE GOT THE POTENTIAL OF
RETURNING TO A PRESIDENCY THAT
IS ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION AND
TRYING TO DO RIGHT BY ALL PEOPLE
AND NOT JUST SOME.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF CABINET
POSITIONS OVER THE LAST TWO
DAYS?
>> YES, PEOPLE I KNOW.
>> Stephen: GUYS YOU KNOW.
THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF RETURN TO
THE SORT OF-- THE STABILITY
AND-- WHAT'S THAT WORD?
COMPETENCY.
( LAUGHS )
OF YOUR EIGHT YEARS.
WHICH IS NOVEL.
WHICH IS AS GOOD AS A VACATION
RIGHT NOW, SOMEBODY THAT
ACTUALLY WANTS TO DO THE JOB
THEY'RE HIRED TO DO.
THAT'S AN INTERESTING IDEA,
ISN'T IT.
>> Stephen: AND HAS
EXPERIENCE, AND HAS READ ABOUT
STUFF, AND KNOWS WHERE COUNTRIES
ARE.
IT'S GREAT.
>> Stephen: SO, HOW YOU BEEN?
HOW YOU BEEN THE LAST FOUR
YEARS?
I HAVEN'T SEEN A LOT OF YOU.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: AND IT'S BEEN KIND
OF-- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION-- IT'S BEEN
KIND OF CRAZY OUT HERE.
( LAUGHING )
WE'RE ALL-- WE'RE ALL A LITTLE
TIRED.
THIS IS HOW I WANT TO SIT.
THIS IS MY ACTUAL-- THIS IS
AMERICA'S POSTURE.
WE'RE A LITTLE BIT LIKE A BONED
FISH RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S ONE OF
THE REASONS WHY IT'S NICE TO SEE
YOU.
SO I'M--
>> LISTEN, I'M-- I AM GOOD.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BUT I THINK THAT I-- I AM
TYPICAL OF A LOT OF US WHO ARE
LUCKY ENOUGH THAT OUR JOBS
HAVEN'T BEEN ENDANGERED, BECAUSE
I WAS ALREADY OUT OF A JOB AS A-
AS A CONSEQUENCE OF COVID.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY
PROSPECTS?
>> I HAVEN'T HAD ANYBODY IN MY
IMMEDIATE FAMILY GET SICK.
YOU KNOW, WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THE BILLS.
AND, YOU KNOW, SO ON THE ONE
HAND, WE'VE HAD OUR GIRLS AT
HOME.
THAT HAS BEEN A COMPLETE JOY FOR
US.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM.
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, THE-- I
THINK I'VE USED THIS PHRASE
BEFORE-- THE SHAMBOLIC NATURE OF
THE GOVERNMENT RESPONSE,
OBVIOUSLY, HAS BEEN FRUSTRATING.
>> Stephen: ESPECIALLY AFTER
YOU LEFT A GAME PLAN.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: FOR THIS VERY
SPECIFIC THING.
AND TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU
LEFT.
>> YES, YES.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT LIKE
TO WATCH THIS RESPONSE?
THAT-- THAT'S THE FRUSTRATION.
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN HARD FOR
ANYONE.
I MEAN, YOU SEE EVEN PEOPLE LIKE
ANGELA MERKEL WHO IS HERSELF A
SCIENTIST, EXEMPLARY, BUT YOU
STILL SEE SOME SPIKES IN
GERMANY.
BUT LET'S TAKE CANADA, WHERE THE
DEATH RATE IS 39% OURS PER
CAPITA, RIGHT.
THAT-- THAT'S A MEASURE OF IF WE
HAD DONE THE WORK THAT WAS NOT
ROCKET SCIENCE, RIGHT.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT INNING
VACCINES-- I'M GLAD TO SEE THE
VACCINES COMING ON BOARD.
BUT PRELIMINARILY COMMUNICATING
EFFECTIVELY, RESPECTING THE
SCIENCE, NOT UNDERMINING THE
LEADING EPIDEMIOLOGIST IN THE
COUNTRY AND SAYING, HE'S AN
IDIOT.
YOU KNOW, BEING CONSISTENT IN
TERMS OF MASKS AND SOCIAL
DISTANCING, NOT SUGGESTING THAT,
YOU KNOW, THIS IS SOME ACT OF
OPPRESSION BUT RATHER JUST A
COMMONNED SENSE THING TO PREVENT
PEOPLE FROM GETTING SICK.
HAD WE JUST TAKEN THOSE STEPS,
THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT WE WOULD
HAVE SAVED SOME LIVES.
AND, IRONICALLY, THE ECONOMY
WOULD BE BETTER BECAUSE WE WOULD
NOT BE SWINGING BACK AND FORTH
IN THE WAYS THAT WE HAVE, AND
PEOPLE WOULD FEEL MORE
CONFIDENCE ABOUT MAKING
DAY-TO-DAY DECISIONS ABOUT
SHOPPING OR, YOU KNOW, GOING
OUT.
>> Stephen: BESIDES THE
OBVIOUS NATURE OF THE
RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND IS THE
ECONOMICALLY VITAL THING TO DO,
ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT THEY DID
NOT SEE THE POLITICAL ADVANTAGE
OF LOOKING LIKE YOU CARED.
>> YES.
AND I THINK THAT THAT IS A
MEASURE OF HOW DETACHED FROM
REALITY AND HOW EMBEDDED
IDEOLOGICAL AND CONSPIRATORIAL
THINKING HAS BECOME, WHERE
YOU'RE DOING IT EVEN WHEN IT'S
TO YOUR DISADVANTAGE, RIGHT.
IN YOUR ORIGINAL SHOW, RIGHT,
YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A-- YOU'RE
SATIRIZING A CERTAIN ATTITUDE.
BUT YOU NEVER THOUGHT THAT FOLKS
WOULD ACTUALLY START BELIEVING.
>> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW I
WAS A PROPHET.
I THOUGHT I WAS A COMEDIAN.
>> YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE A
COMEDIAN.
BUT NOW YOU'RE-- YOU COULDN'T
MAKE UP SOME OF THE STUFF THAT
YOU'RE SEEING.
AND IT IS TO THE DETRIMENT OF
THE COUNTRY, BUT AS YOU SAID,
IT'S ALSO-- IT RUNS CONTRARY TO
WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SMART
POLITICS IF, YOU KNOW, THE
REPUBLICANS WANTED TO MAINTAIN
THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND THAT IN SOME WAYS IS MORE
TROUBLING BECAUSE NOW IT'S NO
LONGER EVEN STRATEGIC.
IT IS-- YOU'RE DRINKING YOUR OWN
KOOL-AID IN A WAY THAT I THINK
IS TROUBLESOME.
AND ONE OF THE BIG CHALLENGES
THAT JOE BIDEN IS GOING TO HAVE
IS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUNCTURE
THAT, YOU KNOW, INFORMATION
BUBBLE THAT-- NOT JUST
REPUBLICAN OFFICIALS, BUT A
SIZABLE PORTION OF VOTERS ARE IN
RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: THAT GETS YOU TO A
QUESTION THAT'S BURIED DEEP IN
THESE PAGES RIGHT HERE, BUT IT
COULD BE THE ONLY QUESTION I
ASKED YOU UPON.
IF I ONLY HAD ONE QUESTION TO
ASK YOU RIGHT NOW IT WOULD BE,
"WHAT HAPPENS NOW?"
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS NOW WHEN
YOU HAVE HALF OR 70% OF THE
REPUBLICANS, SO MAYBE ABOUT 40%
OF THE PUBLIC THINK THAT JOE
BIDEN WON BY CHEATING, AND THEY
BELIEVE THAT ALL THESE FANTASIES
BEING PROMULGATED ABOUT
DEMOCRATIC CABALS THAT SEEM TO
BE PULLING THE STRINGS IN
STATES, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN,
ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES.
HOW DO YOU THEN SPEAK TO THOSE
PEOPLE, EVEN IF YOU ARE SOMEONE
LIKE JOE BIDEN WHO'S CAPABLE,
BELIEVES IN A GOVERNMENT DOING
THE JOB TO SERVE THE PEOPLE, AND
IS EMPATHETIC TO THE CONCERNS
AND NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE WHO
DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM-- AND WE'LL
GET TO EVENTUALLY.
PART OF WHAT I THINK IS
EXTRAORDINARY ABOUT WHAT WE'RE
ABOUT TO GO THROUGH IS YOU KNOW
THAT JOE BIDEN ACTUALLY DOES
CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T
VOTE FOR HIM.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND WHY THEY
DIDN'T AND WHAT THEY THINK.
HOW DOES HE REACH THOSE PEOPLE?
>> WELL, LOOK, I THINK HE'S IN A
GOOD POSITION TO MAKE THE
EFFORT.
THE FACT THAT HE WON IS
INDICATIVE OF THE MESSAGE HE
SENT OF WANTING TO UNIFY THE
COUNTRY.
I DO THINK PEOPLE ARE EXHAUSTED
BY JUST THIS KNOW--, YOU KNOW,
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
CONSTANT CAGE MATCH.
AND PEOPLE JUST WANT TO FEEL AS
IF A DAY PASSES WITHOUT IT BEING
DOMINATED BY SOMETHING CRAZY
COMING OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> Stephen: THAT PHOTO
OPPORTUNITY AFTER Y'ALL HAD HAD
YOUR CONVERSATION IN THE OVAL
OFFICE-- AND I DON'T WANT TO
SPEN A LOT OF TIME.
I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT A LOT FOR FOUR YEARS,
AND I'VE HAD MY FILL.
BUT THAT I WAS A CHILLING MOMENT
FOR ME TO WATCH BECAUSE I
PERCEIVED FOR THAT MOMENT THE
DIGNITY OF THE OFFICE, OR RATHER
THE TRAPPINGS OF DIGNITY AND
STATUS THAT FALLS UPON-- RIGHTLY
FALLS UPON THE PERSON WHO HOLDS
THAT OFFICE IN THAT MOMENT.
AND I SAW THE WAY-- OR RATHER I
HAD AN EMOTIONAL FLASH OF ALL
THE WAYS THAT COULD BE ABUSED
OVER THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.
WERE YOU HAVING A SIMILAR
FEELING IN THAT MOMENT?
>> YEAH, IT WAS A CONCERN.
>> Stephen: AND WERE THOSE
CONCERNS BORNE OUT OVER THE NEXT
FOUR YEARS?
>> EXCEEDED.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
MR. PRESIDENT, WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND
EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
♪ AT LAST
MY LOVE HAS COME ALONG
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. YOU KNOW HIM FROM HIS NETFLIX DEAL, BUT I KNOW HIM AS THE
44th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES, BARACK OBAMA.
ALL RIGHT, CONGRATULATIONS ON
YOUR NEW BOOK.
>> YES, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY.
IT IS-- I'M SORRY.
THIS IS-- I JUST CARRY IT WITH
ME EVERYWHERE I GO.
HAVE YOU READ THIS?
BECAUSE THIS IS A GOOD BOOK.
>> IT'S A GREAT BOOK.
>> Stephen: 10 MILLION COPIES.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HARD TO BEAT.
THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY HARD TO
BEAT.
YOU'RE NOT A COMPETITIVE GUY.
>> I'VE ALREADY WAVED THE WHITE
FLAG.
>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.
>> COME ON, MAN.
>> Stephen: I DO WANT TO POINT
OUT--
>> ANY ILLUSION THAT I MIGHT
CATCH UP, IT TURNS OUT THAT NOW
THAT MY BOOK IS SELLING.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> THEY ALL PACKAGE IT WITH HER
BOOK SO SHE KEEPS ON SELLING
MORE, SO I CAN'T-- IT'S-- IT'S
HOPELESS.
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY, I AM
ENJOYING --
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: "A PROMISED LAND."
ORIGINALLY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE DONE IN ABOUT TWO YEARS, I
THINK.
AND ABOUT 500 PAGES.
IT'S FOUR YEARS.
IT'S 758 PAGES.
AND IT'S ONLY VOLUME ONE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY, WHO WILL BE
FINISHED FIRST, YOU OR GEORGE
R.R. MARTIN?
>> FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T
KNOW THE REFERENCE, "GAME UPON
THRONS."
>> Stephen: EVERYONE KNOWS THE
REFERENCE.
>> DO THEY.
>> Stephen: MORE PEOPLE FROM
READ HIS BOOKS.
I'M SORRY.
VERY POPULAR.
>> THE DIFFERENCE IS BY THE TIME
THERE'S A TV SHOW ABOUT THIS, I
WILL HAVE FINISHED.
>> Stephen: IN THE BOOK YOU
ACTUALLY INVESTIGATED THE IDEA,
EXPLORED THE IDEA OF RUNNING FOR
PRESIDENT, EVEN TALKED TO SOME
PEOPLE ABOUT IT, BEFORE YOU
MENTIONED IT TO YOUR WIFE.
FIRST QUESTION: WHAT?
AND FOLLOW-UP: WOW.
AND THEN YOU SAY, "WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF IT?
IF YOU SAY NO, IT'S NO."
AND SHE SAYS NO.
AND THEN YOU KEEP GOING.
( LAUGHING )
YOU SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT
HOW TO GET AWAY WITH THAT.
THAT'S A BESTSALER.
HOW DID YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT?
AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
>> CLEARLY, I WAS NOT THINKING.
WELL, AS I DESCRIBE, THE WAY
THAT THE CONVERSATION AROUND ME
RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT HAPPENS--
AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE A LOT
OF FOLKS WHO THINK, 'AH, THIS IS
ALL NONSENSE, HE'S NOT PLAYING
IT STRAIGHT.
' BUT THE FRIEND OF MINE AND
STAFF WILL CONFIRM THIS-- WE
WERE FIRM ABOUT ME NOT RUNNING
FOR PRESIDENT BECAUSE I HAD JUST
BEEN ELECTED TO THE U.S. SENATE.
AND THE NOTION THAT I WAS
SOMEHOW GOING TO MAKE THIS LEAP
TWO YEARS LATER INTO LAUNCHING A
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN DID NOT
MAKE SENSE.
BUT PARTLY BECAUSE I WAS, YOU
KNOW, THE NEW SHINY OBJECT, AND,
YOU KNOW, THE PRESS WAS SORT OF
FASCINATED, INTRIGUED WITH ME AS
THE ONLY AFRICAN AMERICAN IN THE
SENATE.
I HAD GIVEN THE SPEECH AT THE
DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.
YOU GET THIS CHATTER.
AND I KEEP ON GETTING ASKED
ABOUT IT, AND WE'RE REBUFFING
IT, ET CETERA.
BUT IT STARTS TAKING ON A LIFE
OF ITS OWN, AND THERE COMES A
POINT AT WHICH I START HAVING
SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS, YOU KNOW,
WITH HARRY REID AND OTHER PEOPLE
WHO ARE SERIOUS LEADERS OF THE
PARTY SAYING, "YOU REALLY SHOULD
THINK ABOUT IT."
AND IT IS AT THAT POINT THAT I
DO GO TO TALK TO MICHELLE ABOUT
IT.
AND SHE DOES-- HER INITIAL
RESPONSE IS NO.
BUT WHAT I SAID TO HER AS WE
STILL NEED TO THINK THROUGH ALL
THE DIFFERENT ELEMENTS OF IT.
AND IF AT THE END OF THAT, YOU
STILL SAY NO, THEN IT'S NO.
AND SHE SORT OF CHANGED HER
MIND, KIND OF.
>> Stephen: I'VE READ IT.
SHE DOES.
>> BUT WHAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE
IS-- AND I'VE NEVER FULLY GOTTEN
OUT OF THE DOG HOUSE FOR THIS--
IS THAT I PUT HER AND OUR KIDS
THROUGH AN EXTRAORDINARILY
STRESSFUL, DIFFICULT SEQUENCE IN
DECIDING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT
RIGHT AFTER I HAD JUST GONE
THROUGH A TOUGH RACE.
AND, YOU KNOW, MICHELLE STAYED
ANGRY AT ME ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.
IT WOULD FLARE UP EVERY SO
OFTEN, BUT SHE STAYED MAD ABOUT
IT THROUGH ALL EIGHT YEARS.
AND THERE WAS A LITTLE CARRYOVER
OF THE NEXT YEAR AND A HALF TAIL
AFTER THAT, AND I THINK WE'VE--
YOU KNOW, SHE FINALLY SORT OF
FORGAVE ME UNTIL THIS INTERVIEW
IN WHICH CASE I THINK IT'S
BROUGHT UP ALL THESE BAD
MEMORIES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> AND I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
I'M GOING TO BE FACING WHEN I
GET HOME.
>> Stephen: YOU WRITE THIS IN
THE BOOK, "THIS IS, I WAS COMING
TO REALIZE, WAS THE NATURE OF
THE PRESIDENCY.
SOMETIMES YOUR MOST IMPORTANT
WORK INVOLVED THE STUFF NOBODY
NOTICED." WHAT'S SOMETHING NOBODY STILL HASN'T NOTICED THAT YOU GUYS
DID?
I'M SORRY, I HAD TO SPEED IT UP
RAY LITTLE BIT THERE.
WE ONLY HAVE AN HOUR.
GO AHEAD.
>> BY THE WAY, IF THAT WAS AN
IMITATION OF ME, THAT WAS
TERRIBLE.
>> Stephen: I PLAY YOUR BOOK
BACK RIGHT NOW AND SHOW YOU
THAT'S HOW SLOWLY YOU READ YOUR
BOOK, SIR.
>> IT MIGHT BE THAT SLOW, BUT IT
SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN I DO
IT.
ANYWAY --
>> Stephen: I'LL GRANT YOU
THAT.
>> WE'LL MOVE ON.
>> Stephen: I'LL GRANT YOU
THAT.
>> HERE'S A GOOD ONE.
APPLIANCES.
YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS
MUCH.
>> Stephen: I DID NOT.
>> OVER THE COURSE OF MY
PRESIDENCY, BECAUSE OF NEW RULES
FOR ENERGY-EFFICIENT APPLIANCES,
TAKING MILLIONS OF METRIC TONS
OF GREENHOUSE GASES OUT OF THE
ATMOSPHERE, THE EQUIVALENT OF
TAKING 20 MILLION AUTOMOBILES
OFF THE ROAD ANNUALLY, BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW, YOUR FRIDGE RUNS A
LITTLE BIT BETTER, OR YOUR
WASHER-DRYER.
AND I WOULD INCLUDE, BY THE WAY,
PREPARATIONS ON THINGS LIKE
PANDEMIC, IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY
PAYING ATTENTION TO IT.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE KIND OF
STUFF THAT IF YOU'RE DOING IT
RIGHT, PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE.
BUT IF YOU SCREW UP, THEN IT'S
BAD.
>> Stephen: LET'S TAKE ANOTHER
QUICK BREAK.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
♪ YOU CAN FEEL IT ALL OV
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "A PROMISED LAND," PRESIDENT BARACK
OBAMA.
MR. PRESIDENT, YOU'RE FAMOUS FOR
YOUR COMPETITIVENESS.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE ME ON IN
A GAME OF WASTE BASKET BALL.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, LET'S
HIT SOME BASHETS.
>> LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION:
DID HE PRACTICE A LOT ON THIS
WHOLE WASTE BASKET BASKETBALL
IDEA?
HAS HE BEEN PRACTICING, LIKE,
ALL MONTH FOR THIS.
>> Stephen: NO!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE SOME
PRACTICE SHOTS FIRST?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE SOME
PRACTICE SHOTS.
>> I DON'T NEED PRACTICE SHOTS.
AGAINST YOU.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT,
BASHET'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
INSIDE YOUR THING OVER HERE.
>> OH, I ALREADY HAVE MY-- YOU.
>> Stephen: ALREADY HAVE
YOURS RIGHT THERE.
THERE ARE 10 PAPER BALLS.
YOURS IS A YELLOW LEGAL PAD,
WHICH I BELIEVE IS HOW YOU WROTE
YOUR BOOK.
>> WHAT IS YOUR S.
>> Stephen: I HAVE BLUE
SCRIPT PAPER.
>> HOW COME IT SEEMS LIKE YOURS
IS CRUMPLED UP MORE.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I SQUEEZED
THEM.
>> NOT ONLY DID YOU PRACTICE--
LOOK AT THIS ONE-- LOOK AT THIS
ONE COMPARED TO YOURS.
>> Stephen: TAKE A MOMENT.
TAKE A MOMENT.
>> AND...
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO
TRADE BALLS?
>> NO, BUT I JUST THINK AS A
MATTER OF PRINCIPLE, THE FACT
THAT YOU DIDN'T......
>> Stephen: SO HEREs.
IT'S JUST 10.
>> Stephen.>> ARE WE TIMING THIU
JUST GOING TO GO "10."
>> Stephen: WE CAN SHOOT AT
THE SAME TIME, IF YOU WANT.
>> I JUST DON'T TRUST YOU.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, LET'S GO.
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO
MAKE IT INTERESTING?
IF-- IF I WIN, YOU HAVE TO
MENTION ME IN YOUR NEXT BOOK.
>> AND WHAT IF I WIN.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
>> NOBODY'S GOING TO READ YOUR
BOOK ANYWAY, SO
( LAUGHTER )
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE.
YOU READY.
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT THIS:
HOW ABOUT I'LL MAKE A DONATION
TO YOUR LIBRARY.
>> NOW, THAT-- THAT IS IS
WORTH-- WORTH-- IS THIS AN EQUAL
DISTANCE, BY THE WAY?
>> Stephen: THEY MEASURED IS
OUT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
READY?
>> Stephen: YUP.
>> WE'RE TERRIBLE!
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: PRESSURE'S ON.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: YOU GOTTA--
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: OH, NO!
>> OH, MAN!
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: IT'S WHAT I DO!
IT'S WHAT I DO.
>> IT'S NOT FINISHED YET.
HOW MANY MORE YOU HAVE GOT.
>> Stephen: I GOT FIVE MORE
OVER HERE.
>> I HAVE TO MAKE AT LEAST THESE
LAST THREE.
>> I'M SPENDING ALL MY TIME
CRUMPLING MY BALLS HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
OH!
THAT WAS SO CLOSE.
( BELL RINGS.
>> COLBERT, I'M GETTING CRUSHED.
LAUGHS )
( BELL RINGS )
OH, MAN!
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH!
OH!
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: WOOOOO!
>> I DIDN'T EVEN HIT ONE.
HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE THIS
DOWN?
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I GOT ONE MORE.
>> Stephen: THIS IS FOR
EVERYTHING.
OH!
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: YOU LET ME WIN.
>> NO, LOOK AT ME.
( LAUGHTER )
ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THAT MADE THIS MY
FARCHT INTERVIEW OF ALL TIME.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
I WILL NEVER-- I'VE LOST MY SWAG
ON "STEPHEN COLBERT."
>> Stephen: REALLY, VERY LAST
QUESTION.
NOT EVEN A QUESTION, JUST A
STATEMENT-- THANK YOU FOR BEING
PRESIDENT.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK. SHE WAS NOMINATED FOR FIVE GRAMMYS TODAY AND IS ONE OF
PRESIDENT OBAMA'S FAVORITE
ARTISTS.
PERFORMING A SPECIAL COVER OF
"REVOLUTION," BRITTANY HOWARD.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> WE GOT A REVOLUTION
THE FACE OF THINGS TO COME
♪ YEAH,
♪ I'M GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTION ♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE ALL
RIGHT
♪ WELL, IT IS NOW
ALL RIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ SOME FOLKS ARE GONNA GET THE NOTION
♪ WELL, THEY SAY
THEY SAY I'M PREACHING HATE
♪ WELL, IF I HAD TO SWIM THE OCEAN ♪ WELL, YOU KNOW, I WOULD
JUST TO COMMUNICATE
♪ IT AIN'T AS EASY AS
JUST TO SAY ALIVE
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, IT IS
ALL RIGHT
♪ OOOO, REVOLUTION
I'M SINGING ABOUT THE REVOLUTION
'CAUSE I SEE WE GOT TO MAKE A
CHANGE
♪ IT'S MORE THAN JUST AIR
POLLUTION
♪ BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOME FOLKS
THEY GOT TO CLEAN THEIR BRAINS
♪ AND NOT A SIM
BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪ WELL IT IS
ALL RIGHT
♪ ONE, TWO, THREE NOW
WHAT DO YOU SEE NOW.
♪ FOUR, FIVE, SIX
FOUR, FIVE, SIX
♪ YOU KNOW I GOT TO HAVE MY
STICK
DO YOUR THING.
♪ DO YOUR THING WHENEVER YOU CN
NOW
♪ AND IF YOU MUST NOW
ALL RIGHT.
♪ IT WILL BE
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL ALL RIGHT
STAY ALIVE Y'ALL
♪ DO YOUR THING NOW
ALL RIGHT
♪ WHENEVER YOU CAN NOW
ALL RIGHT
♪ AND IF YOU MUST NOW
YOU GOT TO TAKE YOUR STAND RIGHT
NOW
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT NOW
♪ ALL RIGHT NOW
ALL RIGHT
♪ YOU GOTTA DO IT NOW
STAND UP NOW
♪ STAND UP NOW
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE ROB CORDDRY, AND I'M
GOING TO GO UP ON THE ROOF OF
THE ED SULLIVAN TO COOK WITH
CHEF JOSÉ ANDRÉS.
AND NEXT MONDAY, WE WILL HAVE AN
ENTIRE SHOW WITH THE REST OF MY
INTERVIEW WITH PRESIDENT BARACK
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
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