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<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>

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>> TODAY, PRESIDENT TRUMP WILL
PARDON ONE OF TWO IOWA TURKEYS
NAMED CORN AND COB.

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PARDON ONE OF TWO IOWA TURKEYS
NAMED CORN AND COB.
>> WE TALKED LAST WEEK ABOUT

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NAMED CORN AND COB.
>> WE TALKED LAST WEEK ABOUT
WHETHER DONALD TRUMP MIGHT

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>> WE TALKED LAST WEEK ABOUT
WHETHER DONALD TRUMP MIGHT
PARDON HIMSELF.

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WHETHER DONALD TRUMP MIGHT
PARDON HIMSELF.
♪ ♪ ♪

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>> >> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:

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SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES

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TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

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PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
AND MUSICAL GUEST BRITTANY

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PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
AND MUSICAL GUEST BRITTANY
HOWARD

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AND MUSICAL GUEST BRITTANY
HOWARD
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY

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HOWARD
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HOMIN'.

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ARE ARE
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE

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AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S

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THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!

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>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT,

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WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT,
I'M FLAD TO BE YOUR HOST

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I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT,
I'M FLAD TO BE YOUR HOST
TONIGHT, ALL NIGHTS, BUT

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I'M FLAD TO BE YOUR HOST
TONIGHT, ALL NIGHTS, BUT
PARTICULARLY TONIGHT IS AN

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TONIGHT, ALL NIGHTS, BUT
PARTICULARLY TONIGHT IS AN
HISTORICAM NIGHT IN THE ANNALS

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PARTICULARLY TONIGHT IS AN
HISTORICAM NIGHT IN THE ANNALS
OF TELEVISION.

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HISTORICAM NIGHT IN THE ANNALS
OF TELEVISION.
TONIGHT IS THE FIRST NIGHT I AM

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OF TELEVISION.
TONIGHT IS THE FIRST NIGHT I AM
SITTING DOWN WITH A GUEST IN

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TONIGHT IS THE FIRST NIGHT I AM
SITTING DOWN WITH A GUEST IN
PERSON "THE LATE SHOW""

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SITTING DOWN WITH A GUEST IN
PERSON "THE LATE SHOW""
AND WHO ELSE DO YOU WANT TO

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PERSON "THE LATE SHOW""
AND WHO ELSE DO YOU WANT TO
BREAK THAT SEAL WITH BUT

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AND WHO ELSE DO YOU WANT TO
BREAK THAT SEAL WITH BUT
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.

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BREAK THAT SEAL WITH BUT
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
THAT'S RIGHT, BARACK OBAMA, MY

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PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
THAT'S RIGHT, BARACK OBAMA, MY
GUEST TONIGHT.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BARACK OBAMA, MY
GUEST TONIGHT.
THREE ACTS?

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GUEST TONIGHT.
THREE ACTS?
THREE ACTS OF BARACK OBAMA.

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THREE ACTS?
THREE ACTS OF BARACK OBAMA.
AND YOU GO, "IS THAT-- SEEMS

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THREE ACTS OF BARACK OBAMA.
AND YOU GO, "IS THAT-- SEEMS
LIKE A LONG TIME"

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AND YOU GO, "IS THAT-- SEEMS
LIKE A LONG TIME"
NO, IT'S NOT.

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LIKE A LONG TIME"
NO, IT'S NOT.
YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY IT

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NO, IT'S NOT.
YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY IT
FLIES.

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YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY IT
FLIES.
FIRST ACT, OBVIOUSLY, JUST

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FLIES.
FIRST ACT, OBVIOUSLY, JUST
FRIENDS HANGING OUT.

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FIRST ACT, OBVIOUSLY, JUST
FRIENDS HANGING OUT.
POWER PACKED THOUGH, AND REALLY

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FRIENDS HANGING OUT.
POWER PACKED THOUGH, AND REALLY
SUBSTANTIVE.

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POWER PACKED THOUGH, AND REALLY
SUBSTANTIVE.
NEXT ACT WE'RE GOING TO MOVE

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SUBSTANTIVE.
NEXT ACT WE'RE GOING TO MOVE
SOME PAPER.

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NEXT ACT WE'RE GOING TO MOVE
SOME PAPER.
WE'RE GOG SELL SOME BOOKS.

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SOME PAPER.
WE'RE GOG SELL SOME BOOKS.
SUPER FUN AT THE SAME TIME.

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WE'RE GOG SELL SOME BOOKS.
SUPER FUN AT THE SAME TIME.
THEN THE THIRD ACT, WE PLAY

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SUPER FUN AT THE SAME TIME.
THEN THE THIRD ACT, WE PLAY
BASKETBALL.

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THEN THE THIRD ACT, WE PLAY
BASKETBALL.
THAT'S HISTORIC.

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BASKETBALL.
THAT'S HISTORIC.
THAT IS AN HISTORIC GAME.

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THAT'S HISTORIC.
THAT IS AN HISTORIC GAME.
WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE RESULTS.

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THAT IS AN HISTORIC GAME.
WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE RESULTS.
AND, YES, THERE WAS SOME

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WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE RESULTS.
AND, YES, THERE WAS SOME
WAGERING.

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AND, YES, THERE WAS SOME
WAGERING.
ANYWAY, HOW MANY QUESTIONS DID I

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WAGERING.
ANYWAY, HOW MANY QUESTIONS DID I
GET IN?

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ANYWAY, HOW MANY QUESTIONS DID I
GET IN?
>> THREE.

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GET IN?
>> THREE.
>> Stephen: THREE QUESTIONS,

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>> THREE.
>> Stephen: THREE QUESTIONS,
20 MINUTES.

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>> Stephen: THREE QUESTIONS,
20 MINUTES.
HE WAS VERY GRACIOUS.

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20 MINUTES.
HE WAS VERY GRACIOUS.
THANK YOU AGAIN, MR. PRESIDENT,

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HE WAS VERY GRACIOUS.
THANK YOU AGAIN, MR. PRESIDENT,
FOR SITTING DOWN WITH US.

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THANK YOU AGAIN, MR. PRESIDENT,
FOR SITTING DOWN WITH US.
YOU KNOW WHO HE IS MARRIED TO,

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FOR SITTING DOWN WITH US.
YOU KNOW WHO HE IS MARRIED TO,
THAT MICHELLE OBAMA.

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YOU KNOW WHO HE IS MARRIED TO,
THAT MICHELLE OBAMA.
THAT WOULD BE A GREAT GUEST.

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THAT MICHELLE OBAMA.
THAT WOULD BE A GREAT GUEST.
THAT, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT

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THAT WOULD BE A GREAT GUEST.
THAT, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT
GUEST.

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THAT, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT
GUEST.
NOT THAT HE'S NOT A GOOD GUEST.

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GUEST.
NOT THAT HE'S NOT A GOOD GUEST.
HE'S A GREAT GUEST, BUT

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NOT THAT HE'S NOT A GOOD GUEST.
HE'S A GREAT GUEST, BUT
EVERYBODY LOVES HER.

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HE'S A GREAT GUEST, BUT
EVERYBODY LOVES HER.
EVERYBODY LOVES HER.

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EVERYBODY LOVES HER.
EVERYBODY LOVES HER.
I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON-- IS

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EVERYBODY LOVES HER.
I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON-- IS
THAT TOO LONG A PAUSE?

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I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON-- IS
THAT TOO LONG A PAUSE?
I WAS JUST INSPIRED BY THE

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THAT TOO LONG A PAUSE?
I WAS JUST INSPIRED BY THE
PRESIDENT.

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I WAS JUST INSPIRED BY THE
PRESIDENT.
IT WAS AN OBAMA-ESQUE PAUSE.

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PRESIDENT.
IT WAS AN OBAMA-ESQUE PAUSE.
I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON AN

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IT WAS AN OBAMA-ESQUE PAUSE.
I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON AN
HISTORIC DAY FOR FANS OF

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I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON AN
HISTORIC DAY FOR FANS OF
CAPITALISM, BECAUSE FOR THE

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HISTORIC DAY FOR FANS OF
CAPITALISM, BECAUSE FOR THE
FIRST TIME EVER, THE DOW HIT

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CAPITALISM, BECAUSE FOR THE
FIRST TIME EVER, THE DOW HIT
30,000.

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FIRST TIME EVER, THE DOW HIT
30,000.
WOW!

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30,000.
WOW!
THAT IS IS... SO MANY OF THEM.

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WOW!
THAT IS IS... SO MANY OF THEM.
OF THE DOW... POWNTS?

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THAT IS IS... SO MANY OF THEM.
OF THE DOW... POWNTS?
IS IT DOW POINTS.

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OF THE DOW... POWNTS?
IS IT DOW POINTS.
DOWELLINGS.

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IS IT DOW POINTS.
DOWELLINGS.
IS IT DOW DROPS.

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DOWELLINGS.
IS IT DOW DROPS.
DOW UNITS.

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IS IT DOW DROPS.
DOW UNITS.
30,000 DOWS, DOWELLINGS.

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DOW UNITS.
30,000 DOWS, DOWELLINGS.
LET ME PUT IT IN LEHMAN'S TERMS.

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30,000 DOWS, DOWELLINGS.
LET ME PUT IT IN LEHMAN'S TERMS.
IF YOU PUT ALL 30,000 OF THOSE

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LET ME PUT IT IN LEHMAN'S TERMS.
IF YOU PUT ALL 30,000 OF THOSE
DOW POINTS END TO END, IT WOULD

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IF YOU PUT ALL 30,000 OF THOSE
DOW POINTS END TO END, IT WOULD
STRETCH ALL THE WAY TO THE S&P

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DOW POINTS END TO END, IT WOULD
STRETCH ALL THE WAY TO THE S&P
500.

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STRETCH ALL THE WAY TO THE S&P
500.
I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY

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500.
I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY
ARE.

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I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY
ARE.
I THINK EACH DOW IS

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ARE.
I THINK EACH DOW IS
LIKE A TICKET AT CHUCK E.

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I THINK EACH DOW IS
LIKE A TICKET AT CHUCK E.
CHEESE.

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LIKE A TICKET AT CHUCK E.
CHEESE.
WHEN IT WAS AT 25,000, AMERICA

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CHEESE.
WHEN IT WAS AT 25,000, AMERICA
COULD GET A STUFFED BUNNY.

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WHEN IT WAS AT 25,000, AMERICA
COULD GET A STUFFED BUNNY.
NOW WE'RE AT 30,000, AND WE

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COULD GET A STUFFED BUNNY.
NOW WE'RE AT 30,000, AND WE
COULD GO FOR THE BEAR OR THE BIG

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NOW WE'RE AT 30,000, AND WE
COULD GO FOR THE BEAR OR THE BIG
LION, OR THE FULL-SIZED

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COULD GO FOR THE BEAR OR THE BIG
LION, OR THE FULL-SIZED
FOOTBALL.

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LION, OR THE FULL-SIZED
FOOTBALL.
ANYWAY, WHATEVER THEY ARE, IT'S

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FOOTBALL.
ANYWAY, WHATEVER THEY ARE, IT'S
A LOT OF THEM.

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ANYWAY, WHATEVER THEY ARE, IT'S
A LOT OF THEM.
SO, TO EVERYONE WHO WORKS ON

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A LOT OF THEM.
SO, TO EVERYONE WHO WORKS ON
WALL STREET, CONGRATULATIONS.

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SO, TO EVERYONE WHO WORKS ON
WALL STREET, CONGRATULATIONS.
AND TO EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T WORK

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WALL STREET, CONGRATULATIONS.
AND TO EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T WORK
ON WALL STREET, GOOD LUCK WITH

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AND TO EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T WORK
ON WALL STREET, GOOD LUCK WITH
THAT.

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ON WALL STREET, GOOD LUCK WITH
THAT.
NEVER ONE TO PASS UP AN

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THAT.
NEVER ONE TO PASS UP AN
OPPORTUNITY TO GLOAT FOR

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NEVER ONE TO PASS UP AN
OPPORTUNITY TO GLOAT FOR
SOMETHING HE'S NOT RESPONSIBLE

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OPPORTUNITY TO GLOAT FOR
SOMETHING HE'S NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR, THE PRESIDENT HELD AN

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SOMETHING HE'S NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR, THE PRESIDENT HELD AN
IMPROMPTU PRESS CONFERENCE TO

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FOR, THE PRESIDENT HELD AN
IMPROMPTU PRESS CONFERENCE TO
CONGRATULATE HIMSELF FOR THE

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IMPROMPTU PRESS CONFERENCE TO
CONGRATULATE HIMSELF FOR THE
DOW JONES NUMBERS GOING BIG ON

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CONGRATULATE HIMSELF FOR THE
DOW JONES NUMBERS GOING BIG ON
THE MONEY CHART.

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DOW JONES NUMBERS GOING BIG ON
THE MONEY CHART.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND I

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THE MONEY CHART.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND I
JUST WANT TO CONGRATULATE

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>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND I
JUST WANT TO CONGRATULATE
EVERYBODY.

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JUST WANT TO CONGRATULATE
EVERYBODY.
THE STOCK MARKET, DOW JONES

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EVERYBODY.
THE STOCK MARKET, DOW JONES
INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE JUST HIT

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THE STOCK MARKET, DOW JONES
INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE JUST HIT
30,000, WHICH IS THE HIGHEST IN

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INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE JUST HIT
30,000, WHICH IS THE HIGHEST IN
HISTORY.

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30,000, WHICH IS THE HIGHEST IN
HISTORY.
THE STOCK MARKET'S JUST BROKEN

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HISTORY.
THE STOCK MARKET'S JUST BROKEN
30,000, NEVER BEEN BROKEN, THAT

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THE STOCK MARKET'S JUST BROKEN
30,000, NEVER BEEN BROKEN, THAT
NUMBER.

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30,000, NEVER BEEN BROKEN, THAT
NUMBER.
THAT IS A SACRED NUMBER, 30,000.

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NUMBER.
THAT IS A SACRED NUMBER, 30,000.
>> Stephen: YES, A SACRED

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THAT IS A SACRED NUMBER, 30,000.
>> Stephen: YES, A SACRED
NUMBER.

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>> Stephen: YES, A SACRED
NUMBER.
AS JESUS HIMSELF SAID, "BLESSED

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NUMBER.
AS JESUS HIMSELF SAID, "BLESSED
BE THE NUMBER 30,000, FOR, MAN,

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AS JESUS HIMSELF SAID, "BLESSED
BE THE NUMBER 30,000, FOR, MAN,
THAT'S A LOT OF WHATEVER IT IS

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BE THE NUMBER 30,000, FOR, MAN,
THAT'S A LOT OF WHATEVER IT IS
YOU'RE COUNTING.

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THAT'S A LOT OF WHATEVER IT IS
YOU'RE COUNTING.
SHEEP?

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YOU'RE COUNTING.
SHEEP?
WHAT ELSE DO WE OWN AROUND HERE?

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SHEEP?
WHAT ELSE DO WE OWN AROUND HERE?
NOTHING."

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WHAT ELSE DO WE OWN AROUND HERE?
NOTHING."
GOTTA BE SHEEP.

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NOTHING."
GOTTA BE SHEEP.
THEN, JUST ONE MINUTE AND 15

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GOTTA BE SHEEP.
THEN, JUST ONE MINUTE AND 15
SECONDS AFTER THE PRESS

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00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,002
THEN, JUST ONE MINUTE AND 15
SECONDS AFTER THE PRESS
CONFERENCE STARTED, IT TURNED

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SECONDS AFTER THE PRESS
CONFERENCE STARTED, IT TURNED
OUT IT WASN'T A PRESS

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CONFERENCE STARTED, IT TURNED
OUT IT WASN'T A PRESS
CONFERENCE.

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OUT IT WASN'T A PRESS
CONFERENCE.
IT WAS JUST A BRAG 'N DASH,

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CONFERENCE.
IT WAS JUST A BRAG 'N DASH,
BECAUSE HE LEFT WITHOUT TAKING

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IT WAS JUST A BRAG 'N DASH,
BECAUSE HE LEFT WITHOUT TAKING
ANY QUESTIONS.

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BECAUSE HE LEFT WITHOUT TAKING
ANY QUESTIONS.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

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ANY QUESTIONS.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
EVERYBODY.

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>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU.

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EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU.
<i> (CROSSTALK)</i>

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THANK YOU.
<i> (CROSSTALK)</i>
<i> (REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS) </i>

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<i> (CROSSTALK)</i>
<i> (REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS) </i>
>> MR. PRESIDENT--

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<i> (REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS) </i>
>> MR. PRESIDENT--
>> MR. PRESIDENT--

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>> MR. PRESIDENT--
>> MR. PRESIDENT--
>> SIR, WHY NOT... FOR THE GOOD

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>> MR. PRESIDENT--
>> SIR, WHY NOT... FOR THE GOOD
OF THE COUNTRY, SIR.

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>> SIR, WHY NOT... FOR THE GOOD
OF THE COUNTRY, SIR.
( BLEEP )

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OF THE COUNTRY, SIR.
( BLEEP )
>> Stephen: STIRRING WORDS THAT

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00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:57,562
( BLEEP )
>> Stephen: STIRRING WORDS THAT
SOMEDAY, NO DOUBT, WILL GRACE

160
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,865
>> Stephen: STIRRING WORDS THAT
SOMEDAY, NO DOUBT, WILL GRACE
THE FACADE OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL

161
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:00,132
SOMEDAY, NO DOUBT, WILL GRACE
THE FACADE OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL
LIBRARY.

162
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:03,368
THE FACADE OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL
LIBRARY.
THIS WAS A RARE POTUS SIGHTING.

163
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,036
LIBRARY.
THIS WAS A RARE POTUS SIGHTING.
SINCE THE ELECTION, HE'S MADE

164
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,737
THIS WAS A RARE POTUS SIGHTING.
SINCE THE ELECTION, HE'S MADE
FEW PUBLIC APPEARANCES.

165
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,371
SINCE THE ELECTION, HE'S MADE
FEW PUBLIC APPEARANCES.
HE KNOWS THAT IF HE COMES OUT OF

166
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:07,272
FEW PUBLIC APPEARANCES.
HE KNOWS THAT IF HE COMES OUT OF
HIS BUNKER AND SEES HIS SHADOW,

167
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:07,973
HE KNOWS THAT IF HE COMES OUT OF
HIS BUNKER AND SEES HIS SHADOW,
HE'LL ONLY HAVE SIX MORE WEEKS

168
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,943
HIS BUNKER AND SEES HIS SHADOW,
HE'LL ONLY HAVE SIX MORE WEEKS
OF PRESIDENT.

169
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:12,511
HE'LL ONLY HAVE SIX MORE WEEKS
OF PRESIDENT.
BUT TODAY, HE HAD A PRESSING

170
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,145
OF PRESIDENT.
BUT TODAY, HE HAD A PRESSING
MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY: THE

171
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:16,014
BUT TODAY, HE HAD A PRESSING
MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY: THE
ANNUAL TURKEY PARDON.

172
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,916
MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY: THE
ANNUAL TURKEY PARDON.
THIS YEAR'S STAR TURKEYS WERE

173
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,284
ANNUAL TURKEY PARDON.
THIS YEAR'S STAR TURKEYS WERE
NAMED CORN AND COB.

174
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:19,851
THIS YEAR'S STAR TURKEYS WERE
NAMED CORN AND COB.
WE HAVE SOME FOOTAGE OF THEM

175
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:20,452
NAMED CORN AND COB.
WE HAVE SOME FOOTAGE OF THEM
ARRIVING IN D.C. FOR THEIR BIG

176
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,922
WE HAVE SOME FOOTAGE OF THEM
ARRIVING IN D.C. FOR THEIR BIG
DAY.

177
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:27,993
ARRIVING IN D.C. FOR THEIR BIG
DAY.
HERE THEY ARE ARRIVING AT THE

178
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:31,997
DAY.
HERE THEY ARE ARRIVING AT THE
ICONIC WILLARD HOTEL, GREETING

179
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:35,367
HERE THEY ARE ARRIVING AT THE
ICONIC WILLARD HOTEL, GREETING
THEIR THRONGS OF FANS, AND THEN

180
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:35,934
ICONIC WILLARD HOTEL, GREETING
THEIR THRONGS OF FANS, AND THEN
RELAXING IN SOME PLUSH BEDS,

181
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:39,137
THEIR THRONGS OF FANS, AND THEN
RELAXING IN SOME PLUSH BEDS,
WHERE THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR

182
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,005
RELAXING IN SOME PLUSH BEDS,
WHERE THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR
PRIVILEGE DURING AN EXPLODING

183
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:44,843
WHERE THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR
PRIVILEGE DURING AN EXPLODING
HOMELESS CRISIS.

184
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,610
PRIVILEGE DURING AN EXPLODING
HOMELESS CRISIS.
OUR SOON-TO-BE FORMER LEADER

185
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:46,411
HOMELESS CRISIS.
OUR SOON-TO-BE FORMER LEADER
MADE IT CLEAR HOW FORTUNATE THE

186
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:47,245
OUR SOON-TO-BE FORMER LEADER
MADE IT CLEAR HOW FORTUNATE THE
PARDONED BIRD WAS.

187
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:47,946
MADE IT CLEAR HOW FORTUNATE THE
PARDONED BIRD WAS.
>> NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE MOMENT

188
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,147
PARDONED BIRD WAS.
>> NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE MOMENT
OF OUR GUESTS OF HONOR.

189
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:49,648
>> NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE MOMENT
OF OUR GUESTS OF HONOR.
THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING.

190
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:50,282
OF OUR GUESTS OF HONOR.
THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING.
AND, IN THIS CASE, HE HAS BEEN

191
00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:50,749
THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING.
AND, IN THIS CASE, HE HAS BEEN
WAITING FOR THIS.

192
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:51,116
AND, IN THIS CASE, HE HAS BEEN
WAITING FOR THIS.
BRING THEM OUT.

193
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:51,950
WAITING FOR THIS.
BRING THEM OUT.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL,

194
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,752
BRING THEM OUT.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL BIRD.

195
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:54,086
LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL BIRD.
OH, SO LUCKY.

196
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:57,923
BEAUTIFUL BIRD.
OH, SO LUCKY.
THAT IS A LUCKY BIRD.

197
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,558
OH, SO LUCKY.
THAT IS A LUCKY BIRD.
>> Stephen: YES, IT'S A LUCKY,

198
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,158
THAT IS A LUCKY BIRD.
>> Stephen: YES, IT'S A LUCKY,
LUCKY BIRD... TO HAVE A BETTER

199
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,029
>> Stephen: YES, IT'S A LUCKY,
LUCKY BIRD... TO HAVE A BETTER
LEGAL TEAM THAN THE PRESIDENT.

200
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,431
LUCKY BIRD... TO HAVE A BETTER
LEGAL TEAM THAN THE PRESIDENT.
THEN HE SAID THE WORDS THAT SO

201
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,032
LEGAL TEAM THAN THE PRESIDENT.
THEN HE SAID THE WORDS THAT SO
MANY WHO HAVE WORKED FOR THIS

202
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:07,999
THEN HE SAID THE WORDS THAT SO
MANY WHO HAVE WORKED FOR THIS
ADMINISTRATION HAVE LONGED TO

203
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,168
MANY WHO HAVE WORKED FOR THIS
ADMINISTRATION HAVE LONGED TO
HEAR:

204
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,403
ADMINISTRATION HAVE LONGED TO
HEAR:
>> I HEREBY GRANT YOU A FULL

205
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:11,937
HEAR:
>> I HEREBY GRANT YOU A FULL
PARDON.

206
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,972
>> I HEREBY GRANT YOU A FULL
PARDON.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU HAVE IT--

207
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,007
PARDON.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU HAVE IT--
AN INNOCENT TURKEY PARDONED BY A

208
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,909
>> Stephen: THERE YOU HAVE IT--
AN INNOCENT TURKEY PARDONED BY A
LAME DUCK.

209
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:35,293
AND HE JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT
LAMER BECAUSE LAST NIGHT, THE
GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION

210
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:39,998
LAMER BECAUSE LAST NIGHT, THE
GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
FINALLY DECLARED THAT BIDEN CAN

211
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,533
GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
FINALLY DECLARED THAT BIDEN CAN
BEGIN HIS TRANSITION.

212
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,167
FINALLY DECLARED THAT BIDEN CAN
BEGIN HIS TRANSITION.
HIS TRANSITION, EVEN THOUGH THE

213
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:42,768
BEGIN HIS TRANSITION.
HIS TRANSITION, EVEN THOUGH THE
CURRENT PRESIDENT STILL HASN'T

214
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:43,368
HIS TRANSITION, EVEN THOUGH THE
CURRENT PRESIDENT STILL HASN'T
CONCEDED, AND HE'S NOT HAPPY

215
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,569
CURRENT PRESIDENT STILL HASN'T
CONCEDED, AND HE'S NOT HAPPY
ABOUT IT.

216
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,170
CONCEDED, AND HE'S NOT HAPPY
ABOUT IT.
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN

217
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:45,771
ABOUT IT.
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT'S EXCITING INSTALLMENT

218
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:46,204
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT'S EXCITING INSTALLMENT
OF...

219
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:46,838
TONIGHT'S EXCITING INSTALLMENT
OF...
<i> ( TO TUNE OF "JINGLE BELLS" )</i>

220
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:47,939
OF...
<i> ( TO TUNE OF "JINGLE BELLS" )</i>
♪ SCREW YOURSELF

221
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,808
<i> ( TO TUNE OF "JINGLE BELLS" )</i>
♪ SCREW YOURSELF
SCREW YOURSELF

222
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:50,275
♪ SCREW YOURSELF
SCREW YOURSELF
♪ I WON'T GO AWAY ♪

223
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,109
SCREW YOURSELF
♪ I WON'T GO AWAY ♪
>> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE

224
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:51,676
♪ I WON'T GO AWAY ♪
>> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE
HOUSE."

225
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:52,310
>> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE
HOUSE."
>> Stephen: WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

226
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,311
HOUSE."
>> Stephen: WHEN THINGS GO WRONG
FOR THE PRESIDENT, HE LOOKS DEEP

227
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:53,945
>> Stephen: WHEN THINGS GO WRONG
FOR THE PRESIDENT, HE LOOKS DEEP
INSIDE AND TRIES TO UNDERSTAND

228
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,013
FOR THE PRESIDENT, HE LOOKS DEEP
INSIDE AND TRIES TO UNDERSTAND
WHO HE'S GOING TO BLAME.

229
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:55,647
INSIDE AND TRIES TO UNDERSTAND
WHO HE'S GOING TO BLAME.
IN THIS CASE, THE NEEDLE LANDED

230
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:56,214
WHO HE'S GOING TO BLAME.
IN THIS CASE, THE NEEDLE LANDED
ON HIS PERSONAL ATTORNEY AND

231
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:56,848
IN THIS CASE, THE NEEDLE LANDED
ON HIS PERSONAL ATTORNEY AND
BILBO POSSESSED BY THE ONE RING,

232
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,918
ON HIS PERSONAL ATTORNEY AND
BILBO POSSESSED BY THE ONE RING,
RUDY GIULIANI.

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00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:00,986
BILBO POSSESSED BY THE ONE RING,
RUDY GIULIANI.
AFTER RUDY'S DISASTROUS PRESS

234
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,454
RUDY GIULIANI.
AFTER RUDY'S DISASTROUS PRESS
CONFERENCE LAST WEEK, AIDES SAY

235
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,022
AFTER RUDY'S DISASTROUS PRESS
CONFERENCE LAST WEEK, AIDES SAY
THE PRESIDENT STARTED TO WORRY

236
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:04,656
CONFERENCE LAST WEEK, AIDES SAY
THE PRESIDENT STARTED TO WORRY
THAT HIS LEGAL TEAM "IS COMPOSED

237
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,891
THE PRESIDENT STARTED TO WORRY
THAT HIS LEGAL TEAM "IS COMPOSED
OF FOOLS THAT ARE MAKING HIM

238
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:09,327
THAT HIS LEGAL TEAM "IS COMPOSED
OF FOOLS THAT ARE MAKING HIM
LOOK BAD."

239
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,395
OF FOOLS THAT ARE MAKING HIM
LOOK BAD."
NO, SIR, THAT'S YOUR HAIR AND

240
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,930
LOOK BAD."
NO, SIR, THAT'S YOUR HAIR AND
MAKEUP TEAM.

241
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,934
NO, SIR, THAT'S YOUR HAIR AND
MAKEUP TEAM.
BUT ONE OF THE KEY CONFIDENCE

242
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,936
MAKEUP TEAM.
BUT ONE OF THE KEY CONFIDENCE
KILLERS COULD HAVE BEEN WHEN

243
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:18,570
BUT ONE OF THE KEY CONFIDENCE
KILLERS COULD HAVE BEEN WHEN
RUDY HAD THIS LITERAL MELTDOWN.

244
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,404
KILLERS COULD HAVE BEEN WHEN
RUDY HAD THIS LITERAL MELTDOWN.
EVEN IF IT'S CLOSE TO

245
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:19,971
RUDY HAD THIS LITERAL MELTDOWN.
EVEN IF IT'S CLOSE TO
THANKSGIVING, THE PRESIDENT

246
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:20,605
EVEN IF IT'S CLOSE TO
THANKSGIVING, THE PRESIDENT
DOESN'T WANT A LAWYER WHO MAKES

247
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,942
THANKSGIVING, THE PRESIDENT
DOESN'T WANT A LAWYER WHO MAKES
HIS OWN GRAVY.

248
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,078
DOESN'T WANT A LAWYER WHO MAKES
HIS OWN GRAVY.
NOW, IT MAY BE HARD TO IMAGINE,

249
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:27,979
HIS OWN GRAVY.
NOW, IT MAY BE HARD TO IMAGINE,
BUT RUDY WASN'T ALWAYS THE TROLL

250
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,948
NOW, IT MAY BE HARD TO IMAGINE,
BUT RUDY WASN'T ALWAYS THE TROLL
LIVING UNDER AMERICA'S BRIDGE.

251
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,450
BUT RUDY WASN'T ALWAYS THE TROLL
LIVING UNDER AMERICA'S BRIDGE.
JUST 18 YEARS AGO, HE WAS ALMOST

252
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:32,083
LIVING UNDER AMERICA'S BRIDGE.
JUST 18 YEARS AGO, HE WAS ALMOST
UNIVERSALLY HAILED AS A NATIONAL

253
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:35,921
JUST 18 YEARS AGO, HE WAS ALMOST
UNIVERSALLY HAILED AS A NATIONAL
HERO.

254
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,423
UNIVERSALLY HAILED AS A NATIONAL
HERO.
IN FACT, THIS MORNING, THE

255
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,991
HERO.
IN FACT, THIS MORNING, THE
INTERNET UPCHUCKED A NEWLY

256
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,927
IN FACT, THIS MORNING, THE
INTERNET UPCHUCKED A NEWLY
REDISCOVERED CLIP OF A 2003 RUDY

257
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,562
INTERNET UPCHUCKED A NEWLY
REDISCOVERED CLIP OF A 2003 RUDY
BIOPIC FEATURING ACTOR AND GUY

258
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:44,062
REDISCOVERED CLIP OF A 2003 RUDY
BIOPIC FEATURING ACTOR AND GUY
ON THE SUBWAY WHO KEEPS

259
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:47,933
BIOPIC FEATURING ACTOR AND GUY
ON THE SUBWAY WHO KEEPS
MENTIONING THE SEAT NEXT TO HIM

260
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:50,135
ON THE SUBWAY WHO KEEPS
MENTIONING THE SEAT NEXT TO HIM
IS FREE, JAMES WOODS.

261
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,838
MENTIONING THE SEAT NEXT TO HIM
IS FREE, JAMES WOODS.
WOODS-- 1600 ON HIS S.A.T.s,

262
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,007
IS FREE, JAMES WOODS.
WOODS-- 1600 ON HIS S.A.T.s,
JUST ASK HIM AND HE'LL TELL

263
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:59,945
WOODS-- 1600 ON HIS S.A.T.s,
JUST ASK HIM AND HE'LL TELL
YOU-- UNIRONICALLY PORTRAYED

264
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:00,946
JUST ASK HIM AND HE'LL TELL
YOU-- UNIRONICALLY PORTRAYED
GIULIANI AS A ROMANTIC IDEALIST.

265
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:01,480
YOU-- UNIRONICALLY PORTRAYED
GIULIANI AS A ROMANTIC IDEALIST.
HERE'S JUST A TASTE.

266
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,215
GIULIANI AS A ROMANTIC IDEALIST.
HERE'S JUST A TASTE.
>> THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT

267
00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:04,015
HERE'S JUST A TASTE.
>> THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT
ME.

268
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:04,683
>> THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT
ME.
MY DAD AND MY OTHER HEROES:

269
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:05,317
ME.
MY DAD AND MY OTHER HEROES:
WINSTON CHURCHILL, BOBBY KENNEDY

270
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:05,917
MY DAD AND MY OTHER HEROES:
WINSTON CHURCHILL, BOBBY KENNEDY
>> DEMOCRATS.

271
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,986
WINSTON CHURCHILL, BOBBY KENNEDY
>> DEMOCRATS.
>> AS I ONCE WAS.

272
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,955
>> DEMOCRATS.
>> AS I ONCE WAS.
>> WHY'D YOU SWITCH?

273
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:10,555
>> AS I ONCE WAS.
>> WHY'D YOU SWITCH?
>> YOU KNOW, DEMOCRATS ALWAYS

274
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:11,890
>> WHY'D YOU SWITCH?
>> YOU KNOW, DEMOCRATS ALWAYS
TALKED ABOUT THINGS GETTING

275
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,826
>> YOU KNOW, DEMOCRATS ALWAYS
TALKED ABOUT THINGS GETTING
BETTER.

276
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:15,994
TALKED ABOUT THINGS GETTING
BETTER.
REPUBLICANS DID WHATEVER THEY

277
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:23,935
BETTER.
REPUBLICANS DID WHATEVER THEY
COULD TO MAKE THEM BETTER.

278
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:28,006
REPUBLICANS DID WHATEVER THEY
COULD TO MAKE THEM BETTER.
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR,

279
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,941
COULD TO MAKE THEM BETTER.
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR,
RIGHT?

280
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,610
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR,
RIGHT?
♪ ♪ ♪

281
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:32,244
RIGHT?
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: THEY WOULD HAVE PAID

282
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:35,947
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: THEY WOULD HAVE PAID
FOR BETTER WRITING, BUT THEY

283
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:39,951
>> Stephen: THEY WOULD HAVE PAID
FOR BETTER WRITING, BUT THEY
BLEW THE WHOLE BUDGET ON THAT

284
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,920
FOR BETTER WRITING, BUT THEY
BLEW THE WHOLE BUDGET ON THAT
WINDOWS 98 SCREENSAVER OF THE

285
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,722
BLEW THE WHOLE BUDGET ON THAT
WINDOWS 98 SCREENSAVER OF THE
OCEAN BEHIND HIM.

286
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,356
WINDOWS 98 SCREENSAVER OF THE
OCEAN BEHIND HIM.
NOW, THE ACTUAL TITLE OF THAT

287
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,924
OCEAN BEHIND HIM.
NOW, THE ACTUAL TITLE OF THAT
MOVIE IS "RUDY: THE RUDY

288
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,959
NOW, THE ACTUAL TITLE OF THAT
MOVIE IS "RUDY: THE RUDY
GIULIANI STORY."

289
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,761
MOVIE IS "RUDY: THE RUDY
GIULIANI STORY."
SEEMS A LITTLE REDUNDANT, BUT

290
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,329
GIULIANI STORY."
SEEMS A LITTLE REDUNDANT, BUT
THEN AGAIN, ALL THE BEST MOVIES

291
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:51,997
SEEMS A LITTLE REDUNDANT, BUT
THEN AGAIN, ALL THE BEST MOVIES
DRIVE HOME THEIR SUBJECT MATTER.

292
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,932
THEN AGAIN, ALL THE BEST MOVIES
DRIVE HOME THEIR SUBJECT MATTER.
THAT'S WHY MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS

293
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,001
DRIVE HOME THEIR SUBJECT MATTER.
THAT'S WHY MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS
"STAR WARS: A STAR WARS STORY."

294
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,636
THAT'S WHY MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS
"STAR WARS: A STAR WARS STORY."
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THAT SCENE IS

295
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,004
"STAR WARS: A STAR WARS STORY."
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THAT SCENE IS
HOW REALISTICALLY IT PORTRAYS

296
00:08:59,006 --> 00:08:59,571
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THAT SCENE IS
HOW REALISTICALLY IT PORTRAYS
THE ROMANCE OF TALKING ABOUT

297
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:00,171
HOW REALISTICALLY IT PORTRAYS
THE ROMANCE OF TALKING ABOUT
REPUBLICAN POLICY RIGHT BEFORE

298
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,140
THE ROMANCE OF TALKING ABOUT
REPUBLICAN POLICY RIGHT BEFORE
YOU MAKE OUT.

299
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,009
REPUBLICAN POLICY RIGHT BEFORE
YOU MAKE OUT.
HOLLYWOOD DOES IT ALL THE TIME

300
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,944
YOU MAKE OUT.
HOLLYWOOD DOES IT ALL THE TIME
IN LOVE SCENES:

301
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:11,816
HOLLYWOOD DOES IT ALL THE TIME
IN LOVE SCENES:
>> I'M ALSO JUST A GIRL,

302
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:12,384
IN LOVE SCENES:
>> I'M ALSO JUST A GIRL,
STANDING IN FRONT OF A BOY,

303
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:15,987
>> I'M ALSO JUST A GIRL,
STANDING IN FRONT OF A BOY,
ASKING HIM TO TAKE AWAY--

304
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:19,991
STANDING IN FRONT OF A BOY,
ASKING HIM TO TAKE AWAY--
>> HER BODILY AUTONOMY.

305
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:25,196
ASKING HIM TO TAKE AWAY--
>> HER BODILY AUTONOMY.
♪ ♪ ♪

306
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:29,935
>> HER BODILY AUTONOMY.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ HOLY INFANT SO ♪

307
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:33,405
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ HOLY INFANT SO ♪
>> YOU COMPLETE ME.

308
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,940
♪ HOLY INFANT SO ♪
>> YOU COMPLETE ME.
I'M NOT JUST--

309
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:35,941
>> YOU COMPLETE ME.
I'M NOT JUST--
>> SHUT UP.

310
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:39,210
I'M NOT JUST--
>> SHUT UP.
JUST SHUT UP.

311
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,011
>> SHUT UP.
JUST SHUT UP.
YOU HAD ME AT--

312
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:44,983
JUST SHUT UP.
YOU HAD ME AT--
>> OPPORTUNITY ZONES.

313
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,785
YOU HAD ME AT--
>> OPPORTUNITY ZONES.
>> Stephen: I GOT ALL TEARED

314
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:50,355
>> OPPORTUNITY ZONES.
>> Stephen: I GOT ALL TEARED
UP THERE.

315
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,056
>> Stephen: I GOT ALL TEARED
UP THERE.
SO, WITH THE PRESIDENT

316
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:51,823
UP THERE.
SO, WITH THE PRESIDENT
DISTANCING HIMSELF

317
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:52,457
SO, WITH THE PRESIDENT
DISTANCING HIMSELF
FROM THE NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT

318
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,959
DISTANCING HIMSELF
FROM THE NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT
THAT IS RUDY GIULIANI, HE'S

319
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,994
FROM THE NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT
THAT IS RUDY GIULIANI, HE'S
LOOKING TO ALIGN HIMSELF WITH A

320
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,163
THAT IS RUDY GIULIANI, HE'S
LOOKING TO ALIGN HIMSELF WITH A
MORE REPUTABLE FIGURE: ACTOR AND

321
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,898
LOOKING TO ALIGN HIMSELF WITH A
MORE REPUTABLE FIGURE: ACTOR AND
GUY IN THE MARKET FOR A USED

322
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:00,365
MORE REPUTABLE FIGURE: ACTOR AND
GUY IN THE MARKET FOR A USED
WATERBED, RANDY QUAID.

323
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:04,035
GUY IN THE MARKET FOR A USED
WATERBED, RANDY QUAID.
QUAID, OF COURSE, IS MOST FAMOUS

324
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,937
WATERBED, RANDY QUAID.
QUAID, OF COURSE, IS MOST FAMOUS
FOR TRYING TO ERECT A RANDY

325
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,672
QUAID, OF COURSE, IS MOST FAMOUS
FOR TRYING TO ERECT A RANDY
QUAID MUSEUM, OR CLAIMING HE'S

326
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:08,139
FOR TRYING TO ERECT A RANDY
QUAID MUSEUM, OR CLAIMING HE'S
"ON THE RUN" FROM A

327
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,709
QUAID MUSEUM, OR CLAIMING HE'S
"ON THE RUN" FROM A
CELEBRITY-KILLING ORGANIZATION

328
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:11,943
"ON THE RUN" FROM A
CELEBRITY-KILLING ORGANIZATION
CALLED THE "HOLLYWOOD STAR

329
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,412
CELEBRITY-KILLING ORGANIZATION
CALLED THE "HOLLYWOOD STAR
WHACKERS," OR SHOWING UP IN

330
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,981
CALLED THE "HOLLYWOOD STAR
WHACKERS," OR SHOWING UP IN
COURT WEARING A SHERIFF'S BADGE,

331
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,215
WHACKERS," OR SHOWING UP IN
COURT WEARING A SHERIFF'S BADGE,
OR POSTING DISTURBING SEX TAPES

332
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:17,916
COURT WEARING A SHERIFF'S BADGE,
OR POSTING DISTURBING SEX TAPES
IN WHICH HE AND HIS WIFE ARE

333
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,985
OR POSTING DISTURBING SEX TAPES
IN WHICH HE AND HIS WIFE ARE
HAVING INTERCOURSE BELOW A

334
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,587
IN WHICH HE AND HIS WIFE ARE
HAVING INTERCOURSE BELOW A
PICTURE OF RUPERT MURDOCH.

335
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,855
HAVING INTERCOURSE BELOW A
PICTURE OF RUPERT MURDOCH.
OBVIOUSLY, RANDY'S A BUSY GUY--

336
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:24,489
PICTURE OF RUPERT MURDOCH.
OBVIOUSLY, RANDY'S A BUSY GUY--
BARELY HAS TIME TO BUY AND SELL

337
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:27,993
OBVIOUSLY, RANDY'S A BUSY GUY--
BARELY HAS TIME TO BUY AND SELL
URINE ON CRAIGSLIST.

338
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,928
BARELY HAS TIME TO BUY AND SELL
URINE ON CRAIGSLIST.
AND, TURNS OUT, QUAID HAS BEEN A

339
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,730
URINE ON CRAIGSLIST.
AND, TURNS OUT, QUAID HAS BEEN A
LONGTIME MAGA MAN, AND THIS

340
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:32,330
AND, TURNS OUT, QUAID HAS BEEN A
LONGTIME MAGA MAN, AND THIS
MORNING, THE PRESIDENT REPAID

341
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:36,868
LONGTIME MAGA MAN, AND THIS
MORNING, THE PRESIDENT REPAID
HIS LOYALTY BY RETWEETING

342
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,536
MORNING, THE PRESIDENT REPAID
HIS LOYALTY BY RETWEETING
SEVERAL OF RANDY QUAID'S

343
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:41,773
HIS LOYALTY BY RETWEETING
SEVERAL OF RANDY QUAID'S
POLITICAL OPINIONS SUCH AS THIS

344
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:41,940
SEVERAL OF RANDY QUAID'S
POLITICAL OPINIONS SUCH AS THIS
ONE:

345
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,074
POLITICAL OPINIONS SUCH AS THIS
ONE:
"WE'VE LOST CONFIDENCE IN THE

346
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:43,942
ONE:
"WE'VE LOST CONFIDENCE IN THE
SYSTEM THAT ELECTS OUR LEADERS.

347
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:44,609
"WE'VE LOST CONFIDENCE IN THE
SYSTEM THAT ELECTS OUR LEADERS.
79 MILLION AMERICANS BELIEVE

348
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,744
SYSTEM THAT ELECTS OUR LEADERS.
79 MILLION AMERICANS BELIEVE
ELECTION WAS RIGGED, THE RESULTS

349
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,946
79 MILLION AMERICANS BELIEVE
ELECTION WAS RIGGED, THE RESULTS
FRAUDULENT.

350
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,981
ELECTION WAS RIGGED, THE RESULTS
FRAUDULENT.
WE NEED AN IN-PERSON-ONLY PAPER

351
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,583
FRAUDULENT.
WE NEED AN IN-PERSON-ONLY PAPER
BALLOT RE-VOTE, ESPECIALLY IN

352
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:52,117
WE NEED AN IN-PERSON-ONLY PAPER
BALLOT RE-VOTE, ESPECIALLY IN
THE STATES WHERE FLAGRANT

353
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:55,286
BALLOT RE-VOTE, ESPECIALLY IN
THE STATES WHERE FLAGRANT
IRREGULARITIES HAVE OCCURRED.

354
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:55,987
THE STATES WHERE FLAGRANT
IRREGULARITIES HAVE OCCURRED.
NO ACCURACY, NO DEMOCRACY!"

355
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,288
IRREGULARITIES HAVE OCCURRED.
NO ACCURACY, NO DEMOCRACY!"
TO WHICH THE PRESIDENT ADDED

356
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,523
NO ACCURACY, NO DEMOCRACY!"
TO WHICH THE PRESIDENT ADDED
"ARE YOU LISTENING,

357
00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,924
TO WHICH THE PRESIDENT ADDED
"ARE YOU LISTENING,
REPUBLICANS?"

358
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,826
"ARE YOU LISTENING,
REPUBLICANS?"
NO.

359
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:02,827
REPUBLICANS?"
NO.
THE ONLY PERSON LISTENING TO

360
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,029
NO.
THE ONLY PERSON LISTENING TO
RANDY QUAID IS HIS THERAPIST,

361
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,930
THE ONLY PERSON LISTENING TO
RANDY QUAID IS HIS THERAPIST,
WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, IS AN

362
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,999
RANDY QUAID IS HIS THERAPIST,
WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, IS AN
OLD BOOT HE PUT A HAT ON.

363
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,901
WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, IS AN
OLD BOOT HE PUT A HAT ON.
QUAID ALSO GOT A RETWEET TODAY

364
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,069
OLD BOOT HE PUT A HAT ON.
QUAID ALSO GOT A RETWEET TODAY
FROM THE PRESIDENT FOR HIS

365
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:11,936
QUAID ALSO GOT A RETWEET TODAY
FROM THE PRESIDENT FOR HIS
AWARD-WINNING PRO-ADMINISTRATION

366
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:16,007
FROM THE PRESIDENT FOR HIS
AWARD-WINNING PRO-ADMINISTRATION
MONOLOGUE FROM LAST YEAR.

367
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:16,808
AWARD-WINNING PRO-ADMINISTRATION
MONOLOGUE FROM LAST YEAR.
>> IS THIS THE WAY AMERICA GOES?

368
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:17,942
MONOLOGUE FROM LAST YEAR.
>> IS THIS THE WAY AMERICA GOES?
FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO GEORGE

369
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,011
>> IS THIS THE WAY AMERICA GOES?
FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO GEORGE
SOROS?

370
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,915
FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO GEORGE
SOROS?
WAKE UP, YOU SLEEPING GIANT.

371
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:27,786
SOROS?
WAKE UP, YOU SLEEPING GIANT.
THE LILLIPUTIANS THAT TIE YOU

372
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:28,453
WAKE UP, YOU SLEEPING GIANT.
THE LILLIPUTIANS THAT TIE YOU
DOWN WITH THEIR FANTASTIC DREAMS

373
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,222
THE LILLIPUTIANS THAT TIE YOU
DOWN WITH THEIR FANTASTIC DREAMS
OF ICEBERGS MELTING INTO

374
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:31,790
DOWN WITH THEIR FANTASTIC DREAMS
OF ICEBERGS MELTING INTO
DINOSAURS AND TRAIN TRACKS

375
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:32,390
OF ICEBERGS MELTING INTO
DINOSAURS AND TRAIN TRACKS
STRETCHING ACROSS THE PACIFIC

376
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,927
DINOSAURS AND TRAIN TRACKS
STRETCHING ACROSS THE PACIFIC
WATERS.

377
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:39,998
STRETCHING ACROSS THE PACIFIC
WATERS.
TRUMP TRUMPETS REVELING, AND

378
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,933
WATERS.
TRUMP TRUMPETS REVELING, AND
IT'S TIME TO HEED THE CALL.

379
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,101
TRUMP TRUMPETS REVELING, AND
IT'S TIME TO HEED THE CALL.
>> Stephen: "THANK YOU, MR.

380
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,002
IT'S TIME TO HEED THE CALL.
>> Stephen: "THANK YOU, MR.
QUAID, BUT THIS IS AN AUDITION

381
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,671
>> Stephen: "THANK YOU, MR.
QUAID, BUT THIS IS AN AUDITION
FOR A PROCESSED BEEF STICK.

382
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:47,272
QUAID, BUT THIS IS AN AUDITION
FOR A PROCESSED BEEF STICK.
SO IF YOU COULD JUST SNAP INTO

383
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:47,939
FOR A PROCESSED BEEF STICK.
SO IF YOU COULD JUST SNAP INTO
THE SLIM JIM AND NOT MENTION THE

384
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,842
SO IF YOU COULD JUST SNAP INTO
THE SLIM JIM AND NOT MENTION THE
TRILATERAL COMMISSION."

385
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,945
THE SLIM JIM AND NOT MENTION THE
TRILATERAL COMMISSION."
THAT WOULD BE GREAT."

386
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,747
TRILATERAL COMMISSION."
THAT WOULD BE GREAT."
THAT'S THE MORE TONED-DOWN OF

387
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:56,347
THAT WOULD BE GREAT."
THAT'S THE MORE TONED-DOWN OF
THE TWO RANDY QUAID MONOLOGUES

388
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,183
THAT'S THE MORE TONED-DOWN OF
THE TWO RANDY QUAID MONOLOGUES
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

389
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,918
THE TWO RANDY QUAID MONOLOGUES
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES RETWEETED TODAY.

390
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:04,022
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES RETWEETED TODAY.
HERE'S THE BANANAS ONE:

391
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:07,992
STATES RETWEETED TODAY.
HERE'S THE BANANAS ONE:
>> FOX NEWS DAYTIME RATINGS HAVE

392
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:11,930
HERE'S THE BANANAS ONE:
>> FOX NEWS DAYTIME RATINGS HAVE
COMPLETELY COLLAPSED, WEEKEND

393
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:16,000
>> FOX NEWS DAYTIME RATINGS HAVE
COMPLETELY COLLAPSED, WEEKEND
DAYTIME, EVEN WORSE.

394
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,969
COMPLETELY COLLAPSED, WEEKEND
DAYTIME, EVEN WORSE.
VERY SAD TO WATCH THIS HAPPEN.

395
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:23,942
DAYTIME, EVEN WORSE.
VERY SAD TO WATCH THIS HAPPEN.
THEY FORGOT WHAT MADE THEM

396
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:28,012
VERY SAD TO WATCH THIS HAPPEN.
THEY FORGOT WHAT MADE THEM
SUCCESSFUL, WHAT GOT THEM THERE.

397
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,380
THEY FORGOT WHAT MADE THEM
SUCCESSFUL, WHAT GOT THEM THERE.
THEY FORGOT THE GOLDEN GOOSE.

398
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,316
SUCCESSFUL, WHAT GOT THEM THERE.
THEY FORGOT THE GOLDEN GOOSE.
>> Stephen: I BELIEVE HE'S

399
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:34,919
THEY FORGOT THE GOLDEN GOOSE.
>> Stephen: I BELIEVE HE'S
USING WHAT'S KNOWN AS "MOOD

400
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:35,553
>> Stephen: I BELIEVE HE'S
USING WHAT'S KNOWN AS "MOOD
LIGHTING."

401
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:35,920
USING WHAT'S KNOWN AS "MOOD
LIGHTING."
THE MOOD?

402
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,222
LIGHTING."
THE MOOD?
PEYOTE BENDER.

403
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,790
THE MOOD?
PEYOTE BENDER.
AS CRAZY AS THAT LAST VIDEO IS,

404
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:39,991
PEYOTE BENDER.
AS CRAZY AS THAT LAST VIDEO IS,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, QUAID WAS

405
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,926
AS CRAZY AS THAT LAST VIDEO IS,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, QUAID WAS
JUST GIVING A DRAMATIC READING

406
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,995
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, QUAID WAS
JUST GIVING A DRAMATIC READING
OF A TWEET FROM THE PRESIDENT.

407
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:47,398
JUST GIVING A DRAMATIC READING
OF A TWEET FROM THE PRESIDENT.
SO, A CRAZY GUY RETWEETED

408
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,032
OF A TWEET FROM THE PRESIDENT.
SO, A CRAZY GUY RETWEETED
ANOTHER CRAZY GUY PERFORMING THE

409
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:51,469
SO, A CRAZY GUY RETWEETED
ANOTHER CRAZY GUY PERFORMING THE
FIRST CRAZY GUY'S CRAZY TWEET.

410
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:52,003
ANOTHER CRAZY GUY PERFORMING THE
FIRST CRAZY GUY'S CRAZY TWEET.
IT'S A MOBIUS MESS.

411
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,938
FIRST CRAZY GUY'S CRAZY TWEET.
IT'S A MOBIUS MESS.
IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO

412
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:54,906
IT'S A MOBIUS MESS.
IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO
TODDLERS TRY TO CHANGE EACH

413
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,007
IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO
TODDLERS TRY TO CHANGE EACH
OTHER'S DIAPERS, BUT SOMEHOW,

414
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,576
TODDLERS TRY TO CHANGE EACH
OTHER'S DIAPERS, BUT SOMEHOW,
IT'S EVEN MORE FULL OF CRAP.

415
00:12:58,578 --> 00:12:59,944
OTHER'S DIAPERS, BUT SOMEHOW,
IT'S EVEN MORE FULL OF CRAP.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

416
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,780
IT'S EVEN MORE FULL OF CRAP.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

417
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:04,015
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST, IN CASE I HAVEN'T

418
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,884
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST, IN CASE I HAVEN'T
MENTIONED IT, IS PRESIDENT

419
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,619
MY GUEST, IN CASE I HAVEN'T
MENTIONED IT, IS PRESIDENT
BARACK OBAMA.

420
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,688
MENTIONED IT, IS PRESIDENT
BARACK OBAMA.
STICK AROUND.

421
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,890
BARACK OBAMA.
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ ♪

422
00:13:28,407 --> 00:13:35,980
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

423
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:36,414
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.

424
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,717
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND,

425
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:40,552
EVERYBODY.
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND,
MR. JON BATISTE.

426
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:41,986
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND,
MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON!

427
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:42,987
MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON!
>> Jon: HELLO.

428
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,455
HELLO, JON!
>> Jon: HELLO.
WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOU?

429
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,456
>> Jon: HELLO.
WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOU?
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS,

430
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,225
WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOU?
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS,
TWO GRAMMY NOMINATIONS TODAY!

431
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:48,259
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS,
TWO GRAMMY NOMINATIONS TODAY!
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

432
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,361
TWO GRAMMY NOMINATIONS TODAY!
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
OH, I'M SO GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL

433
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,296
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
OH, I'M SO GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL
THAT THE MUSIC IS CONNECTING

434
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,997
OH, I'M SO GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL
THAT THE MUSIC IS CONNECTING
WITH PEOPLE AND ADDING TO

435
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:53,364
THAT THE MUSIC IS CONNECTING
WITH PEOPLE AND ADDING TO
PEOPLE'S LIVES.

436
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,366
WITH PEOPLE AND ADDING TO
PEOPLE'S LIVES.
>> Stephen: WELL BE DESERVED.

437
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,768
PEOPLE'S LIVES.
>> Stephen: WELL BE DESERVED.
YOU AND WORRY WONG.

438
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:57,936
>> Stephen: WELL BE DESERVED.
YOU AND WORRY WONG.
THAT'S THE NAME OF THAT ALBUM.

439
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:06,878
YOU AND WORRY WONG.
THAT'S THE NAME OF THAT ALBUM.
>> Jon: "MEDITATIONS."

440
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,345
THAT'S THE NAME OF THAT ALBUM.
>> Jon: "MEDITATIONS."
"MEDICATIONS.

441
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,780
>> Jon: "MEDITATIONS."
"MEDICATIONS.
AND "CHRONOLOGY OF A DREAM."

442
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:10,048
"MEDICATIONS.
AND "CHRONOLOGY OF A DREAM."
YOU WERE THERE.

443
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:10,849
AND "CHRONOLOGY OF A DREAM."
YOU WERE THERE.
>> Stephen: I WAS THERE.

444
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:11,816
YOU WERE THERE.
>> Stephen: I WAS THERE.
AS A MATTER OF FACT I WAS JUST

445
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,518
>> Stephen: I WAS THERE.
AS A MATTER OF FACT I WAS JUST
LISTENING TO THE VERY THOUGHT OF

446
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,854
AS A MATTER OF FACT I WAS JUST
LISTENING TO THE VERY THOUGHT OF
YOU, YOU AND RACHEL, THIS

447
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:16,087
LISTENING TO THE VERY THOUGHT OF
YOU, YOU AND RACHEL, THIS
WEEKEND.

448
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:16,321
YOU, YOU AND RACHEL, THIS
WEEKEND.
AMAZING.

449
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,021
WEEKEND.
AMAZING.
>> Jon: OH, YES.

450
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,357
AMAZING.
>> Jon: OH, YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT MY

451
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:19,557
>> Jon: OH, YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT MY
VOTE.

452
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:20,758
>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT MY
VOTE.
>> Jon: HEY, NOW, LET'S GET

453
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,059
VOTE.
>> Jon: HEY, NOW, LET'S GET
IT!

454
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:21,292
>> Jon: HEY, NOW, LET'S GET
IT!
COME ON!

455
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,294
IT!
COME ON!
>> Stephen: LET'S SWING THIS

456
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:23,461
COME ON!
>> Stephen: LET'S SWING THIS
ONE.

457
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,362
>> Stephen: LET'S SWING THIS
ONE.
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.

458
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,697
ONE.
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.
>> Sephen: HEY, STICK AROUND,

459
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:26,931
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.
>> Sephen: HEY, STICK AROUND,
I'M ABOUT TO INTERVIEW BARACK

460
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:27,131
>> Sephen: HEY, STICK AROUND,
I'M ABOUT TO INTERVIEW BARACK
OBAMA.

461
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:27,899
I'M ABOUT TO INTERVIEW BARACK
OBAMA.
I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT.

462
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,167
OBAMA.
I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT.
>> Jon: I HEARD, I HEARD.

463
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,202
I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT.
>> Jon: I HEARD, I HEARD.
I THINK I WILL.

464
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,472
>> Jon: I HEARD, I HEARD.
I THINK I WILL.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE,

465
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:34,739
I THINK I WILL.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
EVERYBODY.

466
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:35,139
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
EVERYBODY.
>> Jon: LATER ON.

467
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:40,278
EVERYBODY.
>> Jon: LATER ON.
>> Stephen: THANKS, JON.

468
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:40,845
>> Jon: LATER ON.
>> Stephen: THANKS, JON.
FOLKS, YESTERDAY, I HAD THE

469
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:41,880
>> Stephen: THANKS, JON.
FOLKS, YESTERDAY, I HAD THE
HONOR TO SIT DOWN WITH OUR 44th

470
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:42,480
FOLKS, YESTERDAY, I HAD THE
HONOR TO SIT DOWN WITH OUR 44th
PRESIDENT, BARACK OBAMA, WHOSE

471
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,114
HONOR TO SIT DOWN WITH OUR 44th
PRESIDENT, BARACK OBAMA, WHOSE
NEW BOOK, "A PROMISED LAND," IS

472
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,482
PRESIDENT, BARACK OBAMA, WHOSE
NEW BOOK, "A PROMISED LAND," IS
OUT NOW.

473
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,184
NEW BOOK, "A PROMISED LAND," IS
OUT NOW.
JIM?

474
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:46,818
OUT NOW.
JIM?
WELL, PRESIDENT OBAMA, THANK YOU

475
00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:47,719
JIM?
WELL, PRESIDENT OBAMA, THANK YOU
SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME TODAY.

476
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,953
WELL, PRESIDENT OBAMA, THANK YOU
SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME TODAY.
>> IT IS WONDERFUL TO BE HERE.

477
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,121
SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME TODAY.
>> IT IS WONDERFUL TO BE HERE.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

478
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,623
>> IT IS WONDERFUL TO BE HERE.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO SEE

479
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:51,789
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO SEE
YOU.

480
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,459
>> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO SEE
YOU.
>> IT IS GOOD-- IT IS GOOD TO BE

481
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:54,826
YOU.
>> IT IS GOOD-- IT IS GOOD TO BE
SEEN.

482
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:55,927
>> IT IS GOOD-- IT IS GOOD TO BE
SEEN.
I'VE BEEN SEEING YOU ON

483
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:56,828
SEEN.
I'VE BEEN SEEING YOU ON
TELEVISION, BUT IT'S GOOD TO SEE

484
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:57,629
I'VE BEEN SEEING YOU ON
TELEVISION, BUT IT'S GOOD TO SEE
YOU IN PERSON.

485
00:14:57,631 --> 00:15:00,531
TELEVISION, BUT IT'S GOOD TO SEE
YOU IN PERSON.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.

486
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,467
YOU IN PERSON.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?

487
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:05,970
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
ARE YOU-- ARE YOU-- ARE YOU 18

488
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:06,304
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
ARE YOU-- ARE YOU-- ARE YOU 18
AND 54?

489
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,206
ARE YOU-- ARE YOU-- ARE YOU 18
AND 54?
>> I'M NOT THE DEMOGRAPHIC YOU

490
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,440
AND 54?
>> I'M NOT THE DEMOGRAPHIC YOU
ARE LOOKING FOR.

491
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,608
>> I'M NOT THE DEMOGRAPHIC YOU
ARE LOOKING FOR.
>> Stephen: IT DOESN'T COUNT.

492
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,843
ARE LOOKING FOR.
>> Stephen: IT DOESN'T COUNT.
I APOLOGIZE, IT DOESN'T COUNT.

493
00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:13,978
>> Stephen: IT DOESN'T COUNT.
I APOLOGIZE, IT DOESN'T COUNT.
>> MICHELLE SAYS HEY.

494
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:14,846
I APOLOGIZE, IT DOESN'T COUNT.
>> MICHELLE SAYS HEY.
>> Stephen: GOOD.

495
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,447
>> MICHELLE SAYS HEY.
>> Stephen: GOOD.
>> YOU KNOW SHE LOVES YOU.

496
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,682
>> Stephen: GOOD.
>> YOU KNOW SHE LOVES YOU.
>> Stephen: I HAVE REALLY

497
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:18,850
>> YOU KNOW SHE LOVES YOU.
>> Stephen: I HAVE REALLY
ENJOYED SPENDING TIME WITH HER

498
00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:19,717
>> Stephen: I HAVE REALLY
ENJOYED SPENDING TIME WITH HER
OVER THE LAST FOUR YEARS.

499
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,920
ENJOYED SPENDING TIME WITH HER
OVER THE LAST FOUR YEARS.
>> I KNOW, AND SHE ADORS YOU.

500
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,454
OVER THE LAST FOUR YEARS.
>> I KNOW, AND SHE ADORS YOU.
SHE THINKS THE WORLD OF YOU.

501
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,956
>> I KNOW, AND SHE ADORS YOU.
SHE THINKS THE WORLD OF YOU.
I THINK YOU'RE OKAY.

502
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,891
SHE THINKS THE WORLD OF YOU.
I THINK YOU'RE OKAY.
>> Stephen: CAN WE JUST TAKE

503
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:27,792
I THINK YOU'RE OKAY.
>> Stephen: CAN WE JUST TAKE
MOMENT-- I CAN JUST-- AND I WANT

504
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:28,559
>> Stephen: CAN WE JUST TAKE
MOMENT-- I CAN JUST-- AND I WANT
TO TALK.

505
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:29,661
MOMENT-- I CAN JUST-- AND I WANT
TO TALK.
I JUST WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO

506
00:15:29,663 --> 00:15:32,497
TO TALK.
I JUST WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO
DRINK YOU IN FOR JUST A MOMENT.

507
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,365
I JUST WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO
DRINK YOU IN FOR JUST A MOMENT.
BECAUSE I'M HAVING TO GET USED

508
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,567
DRINK YOU IN FOR JUST A MOMENT.
BECAUSE I'M HAVING TO GET USED
TO LOOKING AT A PRESIDENT.

509
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,702
BECAUSE I'M HAVING TO GET USED
TO LOOKING AT A PRESIDENT.
( LAUGHING )

510
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,069
TO LOOKING AT A PRESIDENT.
( LAUGHING )
AGAIN.

511
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,071
( LAUGHING )
AGAIN.
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF--

512
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,706
AGAIN.
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF--
I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF THE HABIT.

513
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,408
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF--
I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF THE HABIT.
I HAVE TO WARM UP FOR JOE BIDEN.

514
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,275
I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF THE HABIT.
I HAVE TO WARM UP FOR JOE BIDEN.
I DON'T WANT TO PULL ANYTHING

515
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,444
I HAVE TO WARM UP FOR JOE BIDEN.
I DON'T WANT TO PULL ANYTHING
WHEN I SEE HIM TAKE THE OATH OF

516
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:46,678
I DON'T WANT TO PULL ANYTHING
WHEN I SEE HIM TAKE THE OATH OF
OFFICE.

517
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:47,745
WHEN I SEE HIM TAKE THE OATH OF
OFFICE.
YOU HAVE TO EASE ME INTO THIS A

518
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:48,046
OFFICE.
YOU HAVE TO EASE ME INTO THIS A
LITTLE BIT.

519
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,081
YOU HAVE TO EASE ME INTO THIS A
LITTLE BIT.
>> JOE'S GOING TO BE AGREEMENT.

520
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,349
LITTLE BIT.
>> JOE'S GOING TO BE AGREEMENT.
>> Stephen: I HAVE NO DOUBT.

521
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,052
>> JOE'S GOING TO BE AGREEMENT.
>> Stephen: I HAVE NO DOUBT.
>> AND KAMALA IS GOING TO BE

522
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:54,252
>> Stephen: I HAVE NO DOUBT.
>> AND KAMALA IS GOING TO BE
GREAT.

523
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,787
>> AND KAMALA IS GOING TO BE
GREAT.
THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE BIG

524
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:56,721
GREAT.
THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE BIG
CHALLENGES AHEAD, BUT, YOU KNOW,

525
00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:02,493
THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE BIG
CHALLENGES AHEAD, BUT, YOU KNOW,
WE'VE GOT THE POTENTIAL OF

526
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:07,999
CHALLENGES AHEAD, BUT, YOU KNOW,
WE'VE GOT THE POTENTIAL OF
RETURNING TO A PRESIDENCY THAT

527
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,068
WE'VE GOT THE POTENTIAL OF
RETURNING TO A PRESIDENCY THAT
IS ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION AND

528
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,537
RETURNING TO A PRESIDENCY THAT
IS ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION AND
TRYING TO DO RIGHT BY ALL PEOPLE

529
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:13,304
IS ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION AND
TRYING TO DO RIGHT BY ALL PEOPLE
AND NOT JUST SOME.

530
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,505
TRYING TO DO RIGHT BY ALL PEOPLE
AND NOT JUST SOME.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF

531
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,740
AND NOT JUST SOME.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF CABINET

532
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:17,642
>> Stephen: A LOT OF
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF CABINET
POSITIONS OVER THE LAST TWO

533
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:17,875
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF CABINET
POSITIONS OVER THE LAST TWO
DAYS?

534
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:18,943
POSITIONS OVER THE LAST TWO
DAYS?
>> YES, PEOPLE I KNOW.

535
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,078
DAYS?
>> YES, PEOPLE I KNOW.
>> Stephen: GUYS YOU KNOW.

536
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,446
>> YES, PEOPLE I KNOW.
>> Stephen: GUYS YOU KNOW.
THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF RETURN TO

537
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,780
>> Stephen: GUYS YOU KNOW.
THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF RETURN TO
THE SORT OF-- THE STABILITY

538
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:26,517
THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF RETURN TO
THE SORT OF-- THE STABILITY
AND-- WHAT'S THAT WORD?

539
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:26,818
THE SORT OF-- THE STABILITY
AND-- WHAT'S THAT WORD?
COMPETENCY.

540
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:27,185
AND-- WHAT'S THAT WORD?
COMPETENCY.
( LAUGHS )

541
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,186
COMPETENCY.
( LAUGHS )
OF YOUR EIGHT YEARS.

542
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:28,987
( LAUGHS )
OF YOUR EIGHT YEARS.
WHICH IS NOVEL.

543
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,055
OF YOUR EIGHT YEARS.
WHICH IS NOVEL.
WHICH IS AS GOOD AS A VACATION

544
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,490
WHICH IS NOVEL.
WHICH IS AS GOOD AS A VACATION
RIGHT NOW, SOMEBODY THAT

545
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,325
WHICH IS AS GOOD AS A VACATION
RIGHT NOW, SOMEBODY THAT
ACTUALLY WANTS TO DO THE JOB

546
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:34,826
RIGHT NOW, SOMEBODY THAT
ACTUALLY WANTS TO DO THE JOB
THEY'RE HIRED TO DO.

547
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,127
ACTUALLY WANTS TO DO THE JOB
THEY'RE HIRED TO DO.
THAT'S AN INTERESTING IDEA,

548
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:36,394
THEY'RE HIRED TO DO.
THAT'S AN INTERESTING IDEA,
ISN'T IT.

549
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,328
THAT'S AN INTERESTING IDEA,
ISN'T IT.
>> Stephen: AND HAS

550
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,496
ISN'T IT.
>> Stephen: AND HAS
EXPERIENCE, AND HAS READ ABOUT

551
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,231
>> Stephen: AND HAS
EXPERIENCE, AND HAS READ ABOUT
STUFF, AND KNOWS WHERE COUNTRIES

552
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:40,431
EXPERIENCE, AND HAS READ ABOUT
STUFF, AND KNOWS WHERE COUNTRIES
ARE.

553
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:40,732
STUFF, AND KNOWS WHERE COUNTRIES
ARE.
IT'S GREAT.

554
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:43,101
ARE.
IT'S GREAT.
>> Stephen: SO, HOW YOU BEEN?

555
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,469
IT'S GREAT.
>> Stephen: SO, HOW YOU BEEN?
HOW YOU BEEN THE LAST FOUR

556
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:44,669
>> Stephen: SO, HOW YOU BEEN?
HOW YOU BEEN THE LAST FOUR
YEARS?

557
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,536
HOW YOU BEEN THE LAST FOUR
YEARS?
I HAVEN'T SEEN A LOT OF YOU.

558
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:46,070
YEARS?
I HAVEN'T SEEN A LOT OF YOU.
>> NO.

559
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:47,672
I HAVEN'T SEEN A LOT OF YOU.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: AND IT'S BEEN KIND

560
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,540
>> NO.
>> Stephen: AND IT'S BEEN KIND
OF-- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE BEEN

561
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:50,742
>> Stephen: AND IT'S BEEN KIND
OF-- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION-- IT'S BEEN

562
00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:52,043
OF-- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION-- IT'S BEEN
KIND OF CRAZY OUT HERE.

563
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,011
PAYING ATTENTION-- IT'S BEEN
KIND OF CRAZY OUT HERE.
( LAUGHING )

564
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,946
KIND OF CRAZY OUT HERE.
( LAUGHING )
WE'RE ALL-- WE'RE ALL A LITTLE

565
00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:55,146
( LAUGHING )
WE'RE ALL-- WE'RE ALL A LITTLE
TIRED.

566
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,281
WE'RE ALL-- WE'RE ALL A LITTLE
TIRED.
THIS IS HOW I WANT TO SIT.

567
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,083
TIRED.
THIS IS HOW I WANT TO SIT.
THIS IS MY ACTUAL-- THIS IS

568
00:16:59,085 --> 00:16:59,650
THIS IS HOW I WANT TO SIT.
THIS IS MY ACTUAL-- THIS IS
AMERICA'S POSTURE.

569
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,053
THIS IS MY ACTUAL-- THIS IS
AMERICA'S POSTURE.
WE'RE A LITTLE BIT LIKE A BONED

570
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:03,388
AMERICA'S POSTURE.
WE'RE A LITTLE BIT LIKE A BONED
FISH RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S ONE OF

571
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,323
WE'RE A LITTLE BIT LIKE A BONED
FISH RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S ONE OF
THE REASONS WHY IT'S NICE TO SEE

572
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:05,656
FISH RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S ONE OF
THE REASONS WHY IT'S NICE TO SEE
YOU.

573
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,491
THE REASONS WHY IT'S NICE TO SEE
YOU.
SO I'M--

574
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:08,493
YOU.
SO I'M--
>> LISTEN, I'M-- I AM GOOD.

575
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:08,893
SO I'M--
>> LISTEN, I'M-- I AM GOOD.
>> Stephen: YEAH.

576
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:13,464
>> LISTEN, I'M-- I AM GOOD.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BUT I THINK THAT I-- I AM

577
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:16,901
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BUT I THINK THAT I-- I AM
TYPICAL OF A LOT OF US WHO ARE

578
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,703
>> BUT I THINK THAT I-- I AM
TYPICAL OF A LOT OF US WHO ARE
LUCKY ENOUGH THAT OUR JOBS

579
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,838
TYPICAL OF A LOT OF US WHO ARE
LUCKY ENOUGH THAT OUR JOBS
HAVEN'T BEEN ENDANGERED, BECAUSE

580
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:28,179
LUCKY ENOUGH THAT OUR JOBS
HAVEN'T BEEN ENDANGERED, BECAUSE
I WAS ALREADY OUT OF A JOB AS A-

581
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,014
HAVEN'T BEEN ENDANGERED, BECAUSE
I WAS ALREADY OUT OF A JOB AS A-
AS A CONSEQUENCE OF COVID.

582
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,150
I WAS ALREADY OUT OF A JOB AS A-
AS A CONSEQUENCE OF COVID.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY

583
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:32,417
AS A CONSEQUENCE OF COVID.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY
PROSPECTS?

584
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,818
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY
PROSPECTS?
>> I HAVEN'T HAD ANYBODY IN MY

585
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:34,652
PROSPECTS?
>> I HAVEN'T HAD ANYBODY IN MY
IMMEDIATE FAMILY GET SICK.

586
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,554
>> I HAVEN'T HAD ANYBODY IN MY
IMMEDIATE FAMILY GET SICK.
YOU KNOW, WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY

587
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,123
IMMEDIATE FAMILY GET SICK.
YOU KNOW, WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THE BILLS.

588
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:41,659
YOU KNOW, WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THE BILLS.
AND, YOU KNOW, SO ON THE ONE

589
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,895
ABOUT THE BILLS.
AND, YOU KNOW, SO ON THE ONE
HAND, WE'VE HAD OUR GIRLS AT

590
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:44,362
AND, YOU KNOW, SO ON THE ONE
HAND, WE'VE HAD OUR GIRLS AT
HOME.

591
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:47,331
HAND, WE'VE HAD OUR GIRLS AT
HOME.
THAT HAS BEEN A COMPLETE JOY FOR

592
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:47,498
HOME.
THAT HAS BEEN A COMPLETE JOY FOR
US.

593
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,501
THAT HAS BEEN A COMPLETE JOY FOR
US.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM.

594
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,137
US.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM.
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, THE-- I

595
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:55,039
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM.
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, THE-- I
THINK I'VE USED THIS PHRASE

596
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,709
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, THE-- I
THINK I'VE USED THIS PHRASE
BEFORE-- THE SHAMBOLIC NATURE OF

597
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,578
THINK I'VE USED THIS PHRASE
BEFORE-- THE SHAMBOLIC NATURE OF
THE GOVERNMENT RESPONSE,

598
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,514
BEFORE-- THE SHAMBOLIC NATURE OF
THE GOVERNMENT RESPONSE,
OBVIOUSLY, HAS BEEN FRUSTRATING.

599
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,248
THE GOVERNMENT RESPONSE,
OBVIOUSLY, HAS BEEN FRUSTRATING.
>> Stephen: ESPECIALLY AFTER

600
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:04,949
OBVIOUSLY, HAS BEEN FRUSTRATING.
>> Stephen: ESPECIALLY AFTER
YOU LEFT A GAME PLAN.

601
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:05,550
>> Stephen: ESPECIALLY AFTER
YOU LEFT A GAME PLAN.
>> YES.

602
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:06,818
YOU LEFT A GAME PLAN.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: FOR THIS VERY

603
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:07,518
>> YES.
>> Stephen: FOR THIS VERY
SPECIFIC THING.

604
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,387
>> Stephen: FOR THIS VERY
SPECIFIC THING.
AND TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU

605
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:09,587
SPECIFIC THING.
AND TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU
LEFT.

606
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,421
AND TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU
LEFT.
>> YES, YES.

607
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,322
LEFT.
>> YES, YES.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT LIKE

608
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,024
>> YES, YES.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT LIKE
TO WATCH THIS RESPONSE?

609
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:14,892
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT LIKE
TO WATCH THIS RESPONSE?
THAT-- THAT'S THE FRUSTRATION.

610
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,127
TO WATCH THIS RESPONSE?
THAT-- THAT'S THE FRUSTRATION.
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN HARD FOR

611
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:16,360
THAT-- THAT'S THE FRUSTRATION.
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN HARD FOR
ANYONE.

612
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:20,364
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN HARD FOR
ANYONE.
I MEAN, YOU SEE EVEN PEOPLE LIKE

613
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:25,403
ANYONE.
I MEAN, YOU SEE EVEN PEOPLE LIKE
ANGELA MERKEL WHO IS HERSELF A

614
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,338
I MEAN, YOU SEE EVEN PEOPLE LIKE
ANGELA MERKEL WHO IS HERSELF A
SCIENTIST, EXEMPLARY, BUT YOU

615
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:31,008
ANGELA MERKEL WHO IS HERSELF A
SCIENTIST, EXEMPLARY, BUT YOU
STILL SEE SOME SPIKES IN

616
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:31,476
SCIENTIST, EXEMPLARY, BUT YOU
STILL SEE SOME SPIKES IN
GERMANY.

617
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:32,777
STILL SEE SOME SPIKES IN
GERMANY.
BUT LET'S TAKE CANADA, WHERE THE

618
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:37,815
GERMANY.
BUT LET'S TAKE CANADA, WHERE THE
DEATH RATE IS 39% OURS PER

619
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:38,583
BUT LET'S TAKE CANADA, WHERE THE
DEATH RATE IS 39% OURS PER
CAPITA, RIGHT.

620
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:42,954
DEATH RATE IS 39% OURS PER
CAPITA, RIGHT.
THAT-- THAT'S A MEASURE OF IF WE

621
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:47,492
CAPITA, RIGHT.
THAT-- THAT'S A MEASURE OF IF WE
HAD DONE THE WORK THAT WAS NOT

622
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,559
THAT-- THAT'S A MEASURE OF IF WE
HAD DONE THE WORK THAT WAS NOT
ROCKET SCIENCE, RIGHT.

623
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:51,395
HAD DONE THE WORK THAT WAS NOT
ROCKET SCIENCE, RIGHT.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT INNING

624
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:53,297
ROCKET SCIENCE, RIGHT.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT INNING
VACCINES-- I'M GLAD TO SEE THE

625
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,633
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT INNING
VACCINES-- I'M GLAD TO SEE THE
VACCINES COMING ON BOARD.

626
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,102
VACCINES-- I'M GLAD TO SEE THE
VACCINES COMING ON BOARD.
BUT PRELIMINARILY COMMUNICATING

627
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,571
VACCINES COMING ON BOARD.
BUT PRELIMINARILY COMMUNICATING
EFFECTIVELY, RESPECTING THE

628
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,107
BUT PRELIMINARILY COMMUNICATING
EFFECTIVELY, RESPECTING THE
SCIENCE, NOT UNDERMINING THE

629
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,609
EFFECTIVELY, RESPECTING THE
SCIENCE, NOT UNDERMINING THE
LEADING EPIDEMIOLOGIST IN THE

630
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:08,513
SCIENCE, NOT UNDERMINING THE
LEADING EPIDEMIOLOGIST IN THE
COUNTRY AND SAYING, HE'S AN

631
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:08,713
LEADING EPIDEMIOLOGIST IN THE
COUNTRY AND SAYING, HE'S AN
IDIOT.

632
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,515
COUNTRY AND SAYING, HE'S AN
IDIOT.
YOU KNOW, BEING CONSISTENT IN

633
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:13,384
IDIOT.
YOU KNOW, BEING CONSISTENT IN
TERMS OF MASKS AND SOCIAL

634
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,353
YOU KNOW, BEING CONSISTENT IN
TERMS OF MASKS AND SOCIAL
DISTANCING, NOT SUGGESTING THAT,

635
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:19,357
TERMS OF MASKS AND SOCIAL
DISTANCING, NOT SUGGESTING THAT,
YOU KNOW, THIS IS SOME ACT OF

636
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,758
DISTANCING, NOT SUGGESTING THAT,
YOU KNOW, THIS IS SOME ACT OF
OPPRESSION BUT RATHER JUST A

637
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,360
YOU KNOW, THIS IS SOME ACT OF
OPPRESSION BUT RATHER JUST A
COMMONNED SENSE THING TO PREVENT

638
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,528
OPPRESSION BUT RATHER JUST A
COMMONNED SENSE THING TO PREVENT
PEOPLE FROM GETTING SICK.

639
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:27,198
COMMONNED SENSE THING TO PREVENT
PEOPLE FROM GETTING SICK.
HAD WE JUST TAKEN THOSE STEPS,

640
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,799
PEOPLE FROM GETTING SICK.
HAD WE JUST TAKEN THOSE STEPS,
THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT WE WOULD

641
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:32,036
HAD WE JUST TAKEN THOSE STEPS,
THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT WE WOULD
HAVE SAVED SOME LIVES.

642
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:32,937
THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT WE WOULD
HAVE SAVED SOME LIVES.
AND, IRONICALLY, THE ECONOMY

643
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,806
HAVE SAVED SOME LIVES.
AND, IRONICALLY, THE ECONOMY
WOULD BE BETTER BECAUSE WE WOULD

644
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,275
AND, IRONICALLY, THE ECONOMY
WOULD BE BETTER BECAUSE WE WOULD
NOT BE SWINGING BACK AND FORTH

645
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,910
WOULD BE BETTER BECAUSE WE WOULD
NOT BE SWINGING BACK AND FORTH
IN THE WAYS THAT WE HAVE, AND

646
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:44,015
NOT BE SWINGING BACK AND FORTH
IN THE WAYS THAT WE HAVE, AND
PEOPLE WOULD FEEL MORE

647
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:44,916
IN THE WAYS THAT WE HAVE, AND
PEOPLE WOULD FEEL MORE
CONFIDENCE ABOUT MAKING

648
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:46,784
PEOPLE WOULD FEEL MORE
CONFIDENCE ABOUT MAKING
DAY-TO-DAY DECISIONS ABOUT

649
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,553
CONFIDENCE ABOUT MAKING
DAY-TO-DAY DECISIONS ABOUT
SHOPPING OR, YOU KNOW, GOING

650
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:48,719
DAY-TO-DAY DECISIONS ABOUT
SHOPPING OR, YOU KNOW, GOING
OUT.

651
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,521
SHOPPING OR, YOU KNOW, GOING
OUT.
>> Stephen: BESIDES THE

652
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,356
OUT.
>> Stephen: BESIDES THE
OBVIOUS NATURE OF THE

653
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:52,857
>> Stephen: BESIDES THE
OBVIOUS NATURE OF THE
RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO.

654
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,090
OBVIOUS NATURE OF THE
RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO.
>> YES.

655
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:57,161
RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND IS THE

656
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,162
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND IS THE
ECONOMICALLY VITAL THING TO DO,

657
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,130
>> Stephen: AND IS THE
ECONOMICALLY VITAL THING TO DO,
ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT THEY DID

658
00:19:59,132 --> 00:20:00,898
ECONOMICALLY VITAL THING TO DO,
ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT THEY DID
NOT SEE THE POLITICAL ADVANTAGE

659
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,500
ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT THEY DID
NOT SEE THE POLITICAL ADVANTAGE
OF LOOKING LIKE YOU CARED.

660
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,268
NOT SEE THE POLITICAL ADVANTAGE
OF LOOKING LIKE YOU CARED.
>> YES.

661
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:11,042
OF LOOKING LIKE YOU CARED.
>> YES.
AND I THINK THAT THAT IS A

662
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:14,378
>> YES.
AND I THINK THAT THAT IS A
MEASURE OF HOW DETACHED FROM

663
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:20,518
AND I THINK THAT THAT IS A
MEASURE OF HOW DETACHED FROM
REALITY AND HOW EMBEDDED

664
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,521
MEASURE OF HOW DETACHED FROM
REALITY AND HOW EMBEDDED
IDEOLOGICAL AND CONSPIRATORIAL

665
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,355
REALITY AND HOW EMBEDDED
IDEOLOGICAL AND CONSPIRATORIAL
THINKING HAS BECOME, WHERE

666
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,891
IDEOLOGICAL AND CONSPIRATORIAL
THINKING HAS BECOME, WHERE
YOU'RE DOING IT EVEN WHEN IT'S

667
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,795
THINKING HAS BECOME, WHERE
YOU'RE DOING IT EVEN WHEN IT'S
TO YOUR DISADVANTAGE, RIGHT.

668
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:33,698
YOU'RE DOING IT EVEN WHEN IT'S
TO YOUR DISADVANTAGE, RIGHT.
IN YOUR ORIGINAL SHOW, RIGHT,

669
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:38,169
TO YOUR DISADVANTAGE, RIGHT.
IN YOUR ORIGINAL SHOW, RIGHT,
YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A-- YOU'RE

670
00:20:38,171 --> 00:20:40,504
IN YOUR ORIGINAL SHOW, RIGHT,
YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A-- YOU'RE
SATIRIZING A CERTAIN ATTITUDE.

671
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,273
YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A-- YOU'RE
SATIRIZING A CERTAIN ATTITUDE.
BUT YOU NEVER THOUGHT THAT FOLKS

672
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,308
SATIRIZING A CERTAIN ATTITUDE.
BUT YOU NEVER THOUGHT THAT FOLKS
WOULD ACTUALLY START BELIEVING.

673
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,610
BUT YOU NEVER THOUGHT THAT FOLKS
WOULD ACTUALLY START BELIEVING.
>> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW I

674
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:46,944
WOULD ACTUALLY START BELIEVING.
>> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW I
WAS A PROPHET.

675
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:47,845
>> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW I
WAS A PROPHET.
I THOUGHT I WAS A COMEDIAN.

676
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,680
WAS A PROPHET.
I THOUGHT I WAS A COMEDIAN.
>> YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE A

677
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:49,981
I THOUGHT I WAS A COMEDIAN.
>> YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE A
COMEDIAN.

678
00:20:49,983 --> 00:20:50,781
>> YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE A
COMEDIAN.
BUT NOW YOU'RE-- YOU COULDN'T

679
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:51,949
COMEDIAN.
BUT NOW YOU'RE-- YOU COULDN'T
MAKE UP SOME OF THE STUFF THAT

680
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,085
BUT NOW YOU'RE-- YOU COULDN'T
MAKE UP SOME OF THE STUFF THAT
YOU'RE SEEING.

681
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,152
MAKE UP SOME OF THE STUFF THAT
YOU'RE SEEING.
AND IT IS TO THE DETRIMENT OF

682
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,855
YOU'RE SEEING.
AND IT IS TO THE DETRIMENT OF
THE COUNTRY, BUT AS YOU SAID,

683
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,591
AND IT IS TO THE DETRIMENT OF
THE COUNTRY, BUT AS YOU SAID,
IT'S ALSO-- IT RUNS CONTRARY TO

684
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:04,228
THE COUNTRY, BUT AS YOU SAID,
IT'S ALSO-- IT RUNS CONTRARY TO
WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SMART

685
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,564
IT'S ALSO-- IT RUNS CONTRARY TO
WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SMART
POLITICS IF, YOU KNOW, THE

686
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:08,065
WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SMART
POLITICS IF, YOU KNOW, THE
REPUBLICANS WANTED TO MAINTAIN

687
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:08,633
POLITICS IF, YOU KNOW, THE
REPUBLICANS WANTED TO MAINTAIN
THE WHITE HOUSE.

688
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,335
REPUBLICANS WANTED TO MAINTAIN
THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND THAT IN SOME WAYS IS MORE

689
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:12,770
THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND THAT IN SOME WAYS IS MORE
TROUBLING BECAUSE NOW IT'S NO

690
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,472
AND THAT IN SOME WAYS IS MORE
TROUBLING BECAUSE NOW IT'S NO
LONGER EVEN STRATEGIC.

691
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:18,843
TROUBLING BECAUSE NOW IT'S NO
LONGER EVEN STRATEGIC.
IT IS-- YOU'RE DRINKING YOUR OWN

692
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:23,581
LONGER EVEN STRATEGIC.
IT IS-- YOU'RE DRINKING YOUR OWN
KOOL-AID IN A WAY THAT I THINK

693
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:24,148
IT IS-- YOU'RE DRINKING YOUR OWN
KOOL-AID IN A WAY THAT I THINK
IS TROUBLESOME.

694
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,616
KOOL-AID IN A WAY THAT I THINK
IS TROUBLESOME.
AND ONE OF THE BIG CHALLENGES

695
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:28,386
IS TROUBLESOME.
AND ONE OF THE BIG CHALLENGES
THAT JOE BIDEN IS GOING TO HAVE

696
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:33,424
AND ONE OF THE BIG CHALLENGES
THAT JOE BIDEN IS GOING TO HAVE
IS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUNCTURE

697
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:35,426
THAT JOE BIDEN IS GOING TO HAVE
IS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUNCTURE
THAT, YOU KNOW, INFORMATION

698
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,662
IS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUNCTURE
THAT, YOU KNOW, INFORMATION
BUBBLE THAT-- NOT JUST

699
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:40,131
THAT, YOU KNOW, INFORMATION
BUBBLE THAT-- NOT JUST
REPUBLICAN OFFICIALS, BUT A

700
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,767
BUBBLE THAT-- NOT JUST
REPUBLICAN OFFICIALS, BUT A
SIZABLE PORTION OF VOTERS ARE IN

701
00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:43,567
REPUBLICAN OFFICIALS, BUT A
SIZABLE PORTION OF VOTERS ARE IN
RIGHT NOW.

702
00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,136
SIZABLE PORTION OF VOTERS ARE IN
RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: THAT GETS YOU TO A

703
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:46,570
RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: THAT GETS YOU TO A
QUESTION THAT'S BURIED DEEP IN

704
00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:48,105
>> Stephen: THAT GETS YOU TO A
QUESTION THAT'S BURIED DEEP IN
THESE PAGES RIGHT HERE, BUT IT

705
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,007
QUESTION THAT'S BURIED DEEP IN
THESE PAGES RIGHT HERE, BUT IT
COULD BE THE ONLY QUESTION I

706
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:50,641
THESE PAGES RIGHT HERE, BUT IT
COULD BE THE ONLY QUESTION I
ASKED YOU UPON.

707
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,076
COULD BE THE ONLY QUESTION I
ASKED YOU UPON.
IF I ONLY HAD ONE QUESTION TO

708
00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:56,013
ASKED YOU UPON.
IF I ONLY HAD ONE QUESTION TO
ASK YOU RIGHT NOW IT WOULD BE,

709
00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,248
IF I ONLY HAD ONE QUESTION TO
ASK YOU RIGHT NOW IT WOULD BE,
"WHAT HAPPENS NOW?"

710
00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:58,949
ASK YOU RIGHT NOW IT WOULD BE,
"WHAT HAPPENS NOW?"
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS NOW WHEN

711
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:03,888
"WHAT HAPPENS NOW?"
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS NOW WHEN
YOU HAVE HALF OR 70% OF THE

712
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,791
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS NOW WHEN
YOU HAVE HALF OR 70% OF THE
REPUBLICANS, SO MAYBE ABOUT 40%

713
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:09,593
YOU HAVE HALF OR 70% OF THE
REPUBLICANS, SO MAYBE ABOUT 40%
OF THE PUBLIC THINK THAT JOE

714
00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:12,530
REPUBLICANS, SO MAYBE ABOUT 40%
OF THE PUBLIC THINK THAT JOE
BIDEN WON BY CHEATING, AND THEY

715
00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:18,002
OF THE PUBLIC THINK THAT JOE
BIDEN WON BY CHEATING, AND THEY
BELIEVE THAT ALL THESE FANTASIES

716
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,770
BIDEN WON BY CHEATING, AND THEY
BELIEVE THAT ALL THESE FANTASIES
BEING PROMULGATED ABOUT

717
00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:21,038
BELIEVE THAT ALL THESE FANTASIES
BEING PROMULGATED ABOUT
DEMOCRATIC CABALS THAT SEEM TO

718
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,540
BEING PROMULGATED ABOUT
DEMOCRATIC CABALS THAT SEEM TO
BE PULLING THE STRINGS IN

719
00:22:22,542 --> 00:22:23,507
DEMOCRATIC CABALS THAT SEEM TO
BE PULLING THE STRINGS IN
STATES, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN,

720
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,042
BE PULLING THE STRINGS IN
STATES, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN,
ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES.

721
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:27,278
STATES, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN,
ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES.
HOW DO YOU THEN SPEAK TO THOSE

722
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,513
ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES.
HOW DO YOU THEN SPEAK TO THOSE
PEOPLE, EVEN IF YOU ARE SOMEONE

723
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:32,183
HOW DO YOU THEN SPEAK TO THOSE
PEOPLE, EVEN IF YOU ARE SOMEONE
LIKE JOE BIDEN WHO'S CAPABLE,

724
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:35,086
PEOPLE, EVEN IF YOU ARE SOMEONE
LIKE JOE BIDEN WHO'S CAPABLE,
BELIEVES IN A GOVERNMENT DOING

725
00:22:35,088 --> 00:22:37,355
LIKE JOE BIDEN WHO'S CAPABLE,
BELIEVES IN A GOVERNMENT DOING
THE JOB TO SERVE THE PEOPLE, AND

726
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:40,224
BELIEVES IN A GOVERNMENT DOING
THE JOB TO SERVE THE PEOPLE, AND
IS EMPATHETIC TO THE CONCERNS

727
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:41,859
THE JOB TO SERVE THE PEOPLE, AND
IS EMPATHETIC TO THE CONCERNS
AND NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE WHO

728
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,427
IS EMPATHETIC TO THE CONCERNS
AND NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE WHO
DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM-- AND WE'LL

729
00:22:43,429 --> 00:22:43,828
AND NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE WHO
DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM-- AND WE'LL
GET TO EVENTUALLY.

730
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:45,262
DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM-- AND WE'LL
GET TO EVENTUALLY.
PART OF WHAT I THINK IS

731
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:46,630
GET TO EVENTUALLY.
PART OF WHAT I THINK IS
EXTRAORDINARY ABOUT WHAT WE'RE

732
00:22:46,632 --> 00:22:48,265
PART OF WHAT I THINK IS
EXTRAORDINARY ABOUT WHAT WE'RE
ABOUT TO GO THROUGH IS YOU KNOW

733
00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:48,833
EXTRAORDINARY ABOUT WHAT WE'RE
ABOUT TO GO THROUGH IS YOU KNOW
THAT JOE BIDEN ACTUALLY DOES

734
00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:51,235
ABOUT TO GO THROUGH IS YOU KNOW
THAT JOE BIDEN ACTUALLY DOES
CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T

735
00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:51,569
THAT JOE BIDEN ACTUALLY DOES
CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T
VOTE FOR HIM.

736
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:52,303
CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T
VOTE FOR HIM.
>> YEAH.

737
00:22:52,305 --> 00:22:53,037
VOTE FOR HIM.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND WHY THEY

738
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:54,505
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND WHY THEY
DIDN'T AND WHAT THEY THINK.

739
00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:55,740
>> Stephen: AND WHY THEY
DIDN'T AND WHAT THEY THINK.
HOW DOES HE REACH THOSE PEOPLE?

740
00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:57,708
DIDN'T AND WHAT THEY THINK.
HOW DOES HE REACH THOSE PEOPLE?
>> WELL, LOOK, I THINK HE'S IN A

741
00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,478
HOW DOES HE REACH THOSE PEOPLE?
>> WELL, LOOK, I THINK HE'S IN A
GOOD POSITION TO MAKE THE

742
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:00,711
>> WELL, LOOK, I THINK HE'S IN A
GOOD POSITION TO MAKE THE
EFFORT.

743
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,981
GOOD POSITION TO MAKE THE
EFFORT.
THE FACT THAT HE WON IS

744
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:06,684
EFFORT.
THE FACT THAT HE WON IS
INDICATIVE OF THE MESSAGE HE

745
00:23:06,686 --> 00:23:09,520
THE FACT THAT HE WON IS
INDICATIVE OF THE MESSAGE HE
SENT OF WANTING TO UNIFY THE

746
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:09,754
INDICATIVE OF THE MESSAGE HE
SENT OF WANTING TO UNIFY THE
COUNTRY.

747
00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:10,788
SENT OF WANTING TO UNIFY THE
COUNTRY.
I DO THINK PEOPLE ARE EXHAUSTED

748
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:17,561
COUNTRY.
I DO THINK PEOPLE ARE EXHAUSTED
BY JUST THIS KNOW--, YOU KNOW,

749
00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:19,630
I DO THINK PEOPLE ARE EXHAUSTED
BY JUST THIS KNOW--, YOU KNOW,
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION

750
00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:21,699
BY JUST THIS KNOW--, YOU KNOW,
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
CONSTANT CAGE MATCH.

751
00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:23,901
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
CONSTANT CAGE MATCH.
AND PEOPLE JUST WANT TO FEEL AS

752
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:29,173
CONSTANT CAGE MATCH.
AND PEOPLE JUST WANT TO FEEL AS
IF A DAY PASSES WITHOUT IT BEING

753
00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,608
AND PEOPLE JUST WANT TO FEEL AS
IF A DAY PASSES WITHOUT IT BEING
DOMINATED BY SOMETHING CRAZY

754
00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:32,476
IF A DAY PASSES WITHOUT IT BEING
DOMINATED BY SOMETHING CRAZY
COMING OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE.

755
00:23:32,478 --> 00:23:33,677
DOMINATED BY SOMETHING CRAZY
COMING OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> Stephen: THAT PHOTO

756
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:35,679
COMING OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> Stephen: THAT PHOTO
OPPORTUNITY AFTER Y'ALL HAD HAD

757
00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:37,281
>> Stephen: THAT PHOTO
OPPORTUNITY AFTER Y'ALL HAD HAD
YOUR CONVERSATION IN THE OVAL

758
00:23:37,283 --> 00:23:38,382
OPPORTUNITY AFTER Y'ALL HAD HAD
YOUR CONVERSATION IN THE OVAL
OFFICE-- AND I DON'T WANT TO

759
00:23:38,384 --> 00:23:39,817
YOUR CONVERSATION IN THE OVAL
OFFICE-- AND I DON'T WANT TO
SPEN A LOT OF TIME.

760
00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:40,551
OFFICE-- AND I DON'T WANT TO
SPEN A LOT OF TIME.
I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THE

761
00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:42,319
SPEN A LOT OF TIME.
I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT A LOT FOR FOUR YEARS,

762
00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:43,521
I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT A LOT FOR FOUR YEARS,
AND I'VE HAD MY FILL.

763
00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:44,655
PRESIDENT A LOT FOR FOUR YEARS,
AND I'VE HAD MY FILL.
BUT THAT I WAS A CHILLING MOMENT

764
00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:46,490
AND I'VE HAD MY FILL.
BUT THAT I WAS A CHILLING MOMENT
FOR ME TO WATCH BECAUSE I

765
00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:47,691
BUT THAT I WAS A CHILLING MOMENT
FOR ME TO WATCH BECAUSE I
PERCEIVED FOR THAT MOMENT THE

766
00:23:47,693 --> 00:23:48,559
FOR ME TO WATCH BECAUSE I
PERCEIVED FOR THAT MOMENT THE
DIGNITY OF THE OFFICE, OR RATHER

767
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:50,561
PERCEIVED FOR THAT MOMENT THE
DIGNITY OF THE OFFICE, OR RATHER
THE TRAPPINGS OF DIGNITY AND

768
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:52,563
DIGNITY OF THE OFFICE, OR RATHER
THE TRAPPINGS OF DIGNITY AND
STATUS THAT FALLS UPON-- RIGHTLY

769
00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:54,165
THE TRAPPINGS OF DIGNITY AND
STATUS THAT FALLS UPON-- RIGHTLY
FALLS UPON THE PERSON WHO HOLDS

770
00:23:54,167 --> 00:23:55,599
STATUS THAT FALLS UPON-- RIGHTLY
FALLS UPON THE PERSON WHO HOLDS
THAT OFFICE IN THAT MOMENT.

771
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:57,768
FALLS UPON THE PERSON WHO HOLDS
THAT OFFICE IN THAT MOMENT.
AND I SAW THE WAY-- OR RATHER I

772
00:23:57,770 --> 00:24:00,504
THAT OFFICE IN THAT MOMENT.
AND I SAW THE WAY-- OR RATHER I
HAD AN EMOTIONAL FLASH OF ALL

773
00:24:00,506 --> 00:24:02,406
AND I SAW THE WAY-- OR RATHER I
HAD AN EMOTIONAL FLASH OF ALL
THE WAYS THAT COULD BE ABUSED

774
00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:03,274
HAD AN EMOTIONAL FLASH OF ALL
THE WAYS THAT COULD BE ABUSED
OVER THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.

775
00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:04,542
THE WAYS THAT COULD BE ABUSED
OVER THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.
WERE YOU HAVING A SIMILAR

776
00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:05,109
OVER THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.
WERE YOU HAVING A SIMILAR
FEELING IN THAT MOMENT?

777
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,211
WERE YOU HAVING A SIMILAR
FEELING IN THAT MOMENT?
>> YEAH, IT WAS A CONCERN.

778
00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:08,946
FEELING IN THAT MOMENT?
>> YEAH, IT WAS A CONCERN.
>> Stephen: AND WERE THOSE

779
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:10,881
>> YEAH, IT WAS A CONCERN.
>> Stephen: AND WERE THOSE
CONCERNS BORNE OUT OVER THE NEXT

780
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:11,382
>> Stephen: AND WERE THOSE
CONCERNS BORNE OUT OVER THE NEXT
FOUR YEARS?

781
00:24:11,384 --> 00:24:11,749
CONCERNS BORNE OUT OVER THE NEXT
FOUR YEARS?
>> EXCEEDED.

782
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:12,950
FOUR YEARS?
>> EXCEEDED.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.

783
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,118
>> EXCEEDED.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
MR. PRESIDENT, WE HAVE TO TAKE A

784
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,686
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
MR. PRESIDENT, WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND

785
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:17,087
MR. PRESIDENT, WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND
EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

786
00:24:17,089 --> 00:24:18,689
QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND
EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.

787
00:24:18,691 --> 00:24:21,792
EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
♪ AT LAST

788
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:29,733
WITH PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
♪ AT LAST
MY LOVE HAS COME ALONG

789
00:24:38,743 --> 00:24:44,782
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW HIM FROM HIS NETFLIX
DEAL, BUT I KNOW HIM AS THE

790
00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:45,349
YOU KNOW HIM FROM HIS NETFLIX
DEAL, BUT I KNOW HIM AS THE
44th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

791
00:24:45,351 --> 00:24:45,816
DEAL, BUT I KNOW HIM AS THE
44th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES, BARACK OBAMA.

792
00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:47,084
44th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES, BARACK OBAMA.
ALL RIGHT, CONGRATULATIONS ON

793
00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:47,451
STATES, BARACK OBAMA.
ALL RIGHT, CONGRATULATIONS ON
YOUR NEW BOOK.

794
00:24:47,453 --> 00:24:48,586
ALL RIGHT, CONGRATULATIONS ON
YOUR NEW BOOK.
>> YES, THANK YOU.

795
00:24:48,588 --> 00:24:51,155
YOUR NEW BOOK.
>> YES, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY.

796
00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:52,556
>> YES, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY.
IT IS-- I'M SORRY.

797
00:24:52,558 --> 00:24:54,925
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY.
IT IS-- I'M SORRY.
THIS IS-- I JUST CARRY IT WITH

798
00:24:54,927 --> 00:24:55,893
IT IS-- I'M SORRY.
THIS IS-- I JUST CARRY IT WITH
ME EVERYWHERE I GO.

799
00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:56,527
THIS IS-- I JUST CARRY IT WITH
ME EVERYWHERE I GO.
HAVE YOU READ THIS?

800
00:24:56,529 --> 00:24:57,194
ME EVERYWHERE I GO.
HAVE YOU READ THIS?
BECAUSE THIS IS A GOOD BOOK.

801
00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:58,596
HAVE YOU READ THIS?
BECAUSE THIS IS A GOOD BOOK.
>> IT'S A GREAT BOOK.

802
00:24:58,598 --> 00:24:59,964
BECAUSE THIS IS A GOOD BOOK.
>> IT'S A GREAT BOOK.
>> Stephen: 10 MILLION COPIES.

803
00:24:59,966 --> 00:25:00,297
>> IT'S A GREAT BOOK.
>> Stephen: 10 MILLION COPIES.
>> YES.

804
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:01,465
>> Stephen: 10 MILLION COPIES.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HARD TO BEAT.

805
00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:02,833
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HARD TO BEAT.
THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY HARD TO

806
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:03,033
>> Stephen: HARD TO BEAT.
THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY HARD TO
BEAT.

807
00:25:03,035 --> 00:25:04,301
THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY HARD TO
BEAT.
YOU'RE NOT A COMPETITIVE GUY.

808
00:25:04,303 --> 00:25:07,171
BEAT.
YOU'RE NOT A COMPETITIVE GUY.
>> I'VE ALREADY WAVED THE WHITE

809
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:07,371
YOU'RE NOT A COMPETITIVE GUY.
>> I'VE ALREADY WAVED THE WHITE
FLAG.

810
00:25:07,373 --> 00:25:08,339
>> I'VE ALREADY WAVED THE WHITE
FLAG.
>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.

811
00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:09,306
FLAG.
>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.
>> COME ON, MAN.

812
00:25:09,308 --> 00:25:11,075
>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.
>> COME ON, MAN.
>> Stephen: I DO WANT TO POINT

813
00:25:11,077 --> 00:25:11,275
>> COME ON, MAN.
>> Stephen: I DO WANT TO POINT
OUT--

814
00:25:11,277 --> 00:25:12,643
>> Stephen: I DO WANT TO POINT
OUT--
>> ANY ILLUSION THAT I MIGHT

815
00:25:12,645 --> 00:25:15,079
OUT--
>> ANY ILLUSION THAT I MIGHT
CATCH UP, IT TURNS OUT THAT NOW

816
00:25:15,081 --> 00:25:16,847
>> ANY ILLUSION THAT I MIGHT
CATCH UP, IT TURNS OUT THAT NOW
THAT MY BOOK IS SELLING.

817
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:17,248
CATCH UP, IT TURNS OUT THAT NOW
THAT MY BOOK IS SELLING.
>> Stephen: YES.

818
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,884
THAT MY BOOK IS SELLING.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> THEY ALL PACKAGE IT WITH HER

819
00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:22,386
>> Stephen: YES.
>> THEY ALL PACKAGE IT WITH HER
BOOK SO SHE KEEPS ON SELLING

820
00:25:22,388 --> 00:25:25,523
>> THEY ALL PACKAGE IT WITH HER
BOOK SO SHE KEEPS ON SELLING
MORE, SO I CAN'T-- IT'S-- IT'S

821
00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:25,789
BOOK SO SHE KEEPS ON SELLING
MORE, SO I CAN'T-- IT'S-- IT'S
HOPELESS.

822
00:25:25,791 --> 00:25:28,158
MORE, SO I CAN'T-- IT'S-- IT'S
HOPELESS.
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY, I AM

823
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:28,459
HOPELESS.
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY, I AM
ENJOYING --

824
00:25:28,461 --> 00:25:28,926
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY, I AM
ENJOYING --
>> THANK YOU.

825
00:25:28,928 --> 00:25:31,395
ENJOYING --
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: "A PROMISED LAND."

826
00:25:31,397 --> 00:25:32,429
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: "A PROMISED LAND."
ORIGINALLY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD

827
00:25:32,431 --> 00:25:34,164
>> Stephen: "A PROMISED LAND."
ORIGINALLY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE DONE IN ABOUT TWO YEARS, I

828
00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:34,365
ORIGINALLY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE DONE IN ABOUT TWO YEARS, I
THINK.

829
00:25:34,367 --> 00:25:36,433
BE DONE IN ABOUT TWO YEARS, I
THINK.
AND ABOUT 500 PAGES.

830
00:25:36,435 --> 00:25:37,034
THINK.
AND ABOUT 500 PAGES.
IT'S FOUR YEARS.

831
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:39,103
AND ABOUT 500 PAGES.
IT'S FOUR YEARS.
IT'S 758 PAGES.

832
00:25:39,105 --> 00:25:41,238
IT'S FOUR YEARS.
IT'S 758 PAGES.
AND IT'S ONLY VOLUME ONE.

833
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:41,972
IT'S 758 PAGES.
AND IT'S ONLY VOLUME ONE.
>> YEAH.

834
00:25:41,974 --> 00:25:44,074
AND IT'S ONLY VOLUME ONE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY, WHO WILL BE

835
00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:47,111
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY, WHO WILL BE
FINISHED FIRST, YOU OR GEORGE

836
00:25:47,113 --> 00:25:48,045
>> Stephen: OKAY, WHO WILL BE
FINISHED FIRST, YOU OR GEORGE
R.R. MARTIN?

837
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:49,413
FINISHED FIRST, YOU OR GEORGE
R.R. MARTIN?
>> FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T

838
00:25:49,415 --> 00:25:53,250
R.R. MARTIN?
>> FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T
KNOW THE REFERENCE, "GAME UPON

839
00:25:53,252 --> 00:25:53,484
>> FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T
KNOW THE REFERENCE, "GAME UPON
THRONS."

840
00:25:53,486 --> 00:25:54,718
KNOW THE REFERENCE, "GAME UPON
THRONS."
>> Stephen: EVERYONE KNOWS THE

841
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:54,985
THRONS."
>> Stephen: EVERYONE KNOWS THE
REFERENCE.

842
00:25:54,987 --> 00:25:55,920
>> Stephen: EVERYONE KNOWS THE
REFERENCE.
>> DO THEY.

843
00:25:55,922 --> 00:25:57,087
REFERENCE.
>> DO THEY.
>> Stephen: MORE PEOPLE FROM

844
00:25:57,089 --> 00:25:58,088
>> DO THEY.
>> Stephen: MORE PEOPLE FROM
READ HIS BOOKS.

845
00:25:58,090 --> 00:26:00,190
>> Stephen: MORE PEOPLE FROM
READ HIS BOOKS.
I'M SORRY.

846
00:26:00,192 --> 00:26:01,025
READ HIS BOOKS.
I'M SORRY.
VERY POPULAR.

847
00:26:01,027 --> 00:26:02,059
I'M SORRY.
VERY POPULAR.
>> THE DIFFERENCE IS BY THE TIME

848
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:04,061
VERY POPULAR.
>> THE DIFFERENCE IS BY THE TIME
THERE'S A TV SHOW ABOUT THIS, I

849
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:04,595
>> THE DIFFERENCE IS BY THE TIME
THERE'S A TV SHOW ABOUT THIS, I
WILL HAVE FINISHED.

850
00:26:04,597 --> 00:26:06,163
THERE'S A TV SHOW ABOUT THIS, I
WILL HAVE FINISHED.
>> Stephen: IN THE BOOK YOU

851
00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:07,398
WILL HAVE FINISHED.
>> Stephen: IN THE BOOK YOU
ACTUALLY INVESTIGATED THE IDEA,

852
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:11,035
>> Stephen: IN THE BOOK YOU
ACTUALLY INVESTIGATED THE IDEA,
EXPLORED THE IDEA OF RUNNING FOR

853
00:26:11,037 --> 00:26:13,003
ACTUALLY INVESTIGATED THE IDEA,
EXPLORED THE IDEA OF RUNNING FOR
PRESIDENT, EVEN TALKED TO SOME

854
00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:15,406
EXPLORED THE IDEA OF RUNNING FOR
PRESIDENT, EVEN TALKED TO SOME
PEOPLE ABOUT IT, BEFORE YOU

855
00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:18,175
PRESIDENT, EVEN TALKED TO SOME
PEOPLE ABOUT IT, BEFORE YOU
MENTIONED IT TO YOUR WIFE.

856
00:26:18,177 --> 00:26:21,078
PEOPLE ABOUT IT, BEFORE YOU
MENTIONED IT TO YOUR WIFE.
FIRST QUESTION: WHAT?

857
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,180
MENTIONED IT TO YOUR WIFE.
FIRST QUESTION: WHAT?
AND FOLLOW-UP: WOW.

858
00:26:23,182 --> 00:26:25,282
FIRST QUESTION: WHAT?
AND FOLLOW-UP: WOW.
AND THEN YOU SAY, "WHAT DO YOU

859
00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:25,749
AND FOLLOW-UP: WOW.
AND THEN YOU SAY, "WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF IT?

860
00:26:25,751 --> 00:26:27,551
AND THEN YOU SAY, "WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF IT?
IF YOU SAY NO, IT'S NO."

861
00:26:27,553 --> 00:26:28,953
THINK OF IT?
IF YOU SAY NO, IT'S NO."
AND SHE SAYS NO.

862
00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:30,287
IF YOU SAY NO, IT'S NO."
AND SHE SAYS NO.
AND THEN YOU KEEP GOING.

863
00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:31,088
AND SHE SAYS NO.
AND THEN YOU KEEP GOING.
( LAUGHING )

864
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:32,222
AND THEN YOU KEEP GOING.
( LAUGHING )
YOU SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT

865
00:26:32,224 --> 00:26:34,158
( LAUGHING )
YOU SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT
HOW TO GET AWAY WITH THAT.

866
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,026
YOU SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT
HOW TO GET AWAY WITH THAT.
THAT'S A BESTSALER.

867
00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:38,395
HOW TO GET AWAY WITH THAT.
THAT'S A BESTSALER.
HOW DID YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT?

868
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:39,296
THAT'S A BESTSALER.
HOW DID YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT?
AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

869
00:26:39,298 --> 00:26:43,067
HOW DID YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT?
AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
>> CLEARLY, I WAS NOT THINKING.

870
00:26:43,069 --> 00:26:47,137
AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
>> CLEARLY, I WAS NOT THINKING.
WELL, AS I DESCRIBE, THE WAY

871
00:26:47,139 --> 00:26:48,939
>> CLEARLY, I WAS NOT THINKING.
WELL, AS I DESCRIBE, THE WAY
THAT THE CONVERSATION AROUND ME

872
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:51,942
WELL, AS I DESCRIBE, THE WAY
THAT THE CONVERSATION AROUND ME
RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT HAPPENS--

873
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,377
THAT THE CONVERSATION AROUND ME
RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT HAPPENS--
AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE A LOT

874
00:26:53,379 --> 00:26:59,116
RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT HAPPENS--
AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE A LOT
OF FOLKS WHO THINK, 'AH, THIS IS

875
00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:02,353
AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE A LOT
OF FOLKS WHO THINK, 'AH, THIS IS
ALL NONSENSE, HE'S NOT PLAYING

876
00:27:02,355 --> 00:27:02,753
OF FOLKS WHO THINK, 'AH, THIS IS
ALL NONSENSE, HE'S NOT PLAYING
IT STRAIGHT.

877
00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:04,388
ALL NONSENSE, HE'S NOT PLAYING
IT STRAIGHT.
' BUT THE FRIEND OF MINE AND

878
00:27:04,390 --> 00:27:05,990
IT STRAIGHT.
' BUT THE FRIEND OF MINE AND
STAFF WILL CONFIRM THIS-- WE

879
00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:07,491
' BUT THE FRIEND OF MINE AND
STAFF WILL CONFIRM THIS-- WE
WERE FIRM ABOUT ME NOT RUNNING

880
00:27:07,493 --> 00:27:08,459
STAFF WILL CONFIRM THIS-- WE
WERE FIRM ABOUT ME NOT RUNNING
FOR PRESIDENT BECAUSE I HAD JUST

881
00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:10,794
WERE FIRM ABOUT ME NOT RUNNING
FOR PRESIDENT BECAUSE I HAD JUST
BEEN ELECTED TO THE U.S. SENATE.

882
00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:12,796
FOR PRESIDENT BECAUSE I HAD JUST
BEEN ELECTED TO THE U.S. SENATE.
AND THE NOTION THAT I WAS

883
00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:14,832
BEEN ELECTED TO THE U.S. SENATE.
AND THE NOTION THAT I WAS
SOMEHOW GOING TO MAKE THIS LEAP

884
00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:17,134
AND THE NOTION THAT I WAS
SOMEHOW GOING TO MAKE THIS LEAP
TWO YEARS LATER INTO LAUNCHING A

885
00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:20,037
SOMEHOW GOING TO MAKE THIS LEAP
TWO YEARS LATER INTO LAUNCHING A
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN DID NOT

886
00:27:20,039 --> 00:27:20,938
TWO YEARS LATER INTO LAUNCHING A
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN DID NOT
MAKE SENSE.

887
00:27:20,940 --> 00:27:22,906
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN DID NOT
MAKE SENSE.
BUT PARTLY BECAUSE I WAS, YOU

888
00:27:22,908 --> 00:27:26,143
MAKE SENSE.
BUT PARTLY BECAUSE I WAS, YOU
KNOW, THE NEW SHINY OBJECT, AND,

889
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:29,046
BUT PARTLY BECAUSE I WAS, YOU
KNOW, THE NEW SHINY OBJECT, AND,
YOU KNOW, THE PRESS WAS SORT OF

890
00:27:29,048 --> 00:27:31,582
KNOW, THE NEW SHINY OBJECT, AND,
YOU KNOW, THE PRESS WAS SORT OF
FASCINATED, INTRIGUED WITH ME AS

891
00:27:31,584 --> 00:27:33,017
YOU KNOW, THE PRESS WAS SORT OF
FASCINATED, INTRIGUED WITH ME AS
THE ONLY AFRICAN AMERICAN IN THE

892
00:27:33,019 --> 00:27:33,250
FASCINATED, INTRIGUED WITH ME AS
THE ONLY AFRICAN AMERICAN IN THE
SENATE.

893
00:27:33,252 --> 00:27:36,720
THE ONLY AFRICAN AMERICAN IN THE
SENATE.
I HAD GIVEN THE SPEECH AT THE

894
00:27:36,722 --> 00:27:37,354
SENATE.
I HAD GIVEN THE SPEECH AT THE
DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.

895
00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:38,722
I HAD GIVEN THE SPEECH AT THE
DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.
YOU GET THIS CHATTER.

896
00:27:38,724 --> 00:27:40,224
DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.
YOU GET THIS CHATTER.
AND I KEEP ON GETTING ASKED

897
00:27:40,226 --> 00:27:42,826
YOU GET THIS CHATTER.
AND I KEEP ON GETTING ASKED
ABOUT IT, AND WE'RE REBUFFING

898
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:46,463
AND I KEEP ON GETTING ASKED
ABOUT IT, AND WE'RE REBUFFING
IT, ET CETERA.

899
00:27:46,465 --> 00:27:48,532
ABOUT IT, AND WE'RE REBUFFING
IT, ET CETERA.
BUT IT STARTS TAKING ON A LIFE

900
00:27:48,534 --> 00:27:50,801
IT, ET CETERA.
BUT IT STARTS TAKING ON A LIFE
OF ITS OWN, AND THERE COMES A

901
00:27:50,803 --> 00:27:53,037
BUT IT STARTS TAKING ON A LIFE
OF ITS OWN, AND THERE COMES A
POINT AT WHICH I START HAVING

902
00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:55,572
OF ITS OWN, AND THERE COMES A
POINT AT WHICH I START HAVING
SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS, YOU KNOW,

903
00:27:55,574 --> 00:27:57,041
POINT AT WHICH I START HAVING
SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS, YOU KNOW,
WITH HARRY REID AND OTHER PEOPLE

904
00:27:57,043 --> 00:27:59,410
SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS, YOU KNOW,
WITH HARRY REID AND OTHER PEOPLE
WHO ARE SERIOUS LEADERS OF THE

905
00:27:59,412 --> 00:28:01,011
WITH HARRY REID AND OTHER PEOPLE
WHO ARE SERIOUS LEADERS OF THE
PARTY SAYING, "YOU REALLY SHOULD

906
00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:02,246
WHO ARE SERIOUS LEADERS OF THE
PARTY SAYING, "YOU REALLY SHOULD
THINK ABOUT IT."

907
00:28:02,248 --> 00:28:04,848
PARTY SAYING, "YOU REALLY SHOULD
THINK ABOUT IT."
AND IT IS AT THAT POINT THAT I

908
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:08,585
THINK ABOUT IT."
AND IT IS AT THAT POINT THAT I
DO GO TO TALK TO MICHELLE ABOUT

909
00:28:08,587 --> 00:28:09,053
AND IT IS AT THAT POINT THAT I
DO GO TO TALK TO MICHELLE ABOUT
IT.

910
00:28:09,055 --> 00:28:10,788
DO GO TO TALK TO MICHELLE ABOUT
IT.
AND SHE DOES-- HER INITIAL

911
00:28:10,790 --> 00:28:11,288
IT.
AND SHE DOES-- HER INITIAL
RESPONSE IS NO.

912
00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:14,224
AND SHE DOES-- HER INITIAL
RESPONSE IS NO.
BUT WHAT I SAID TO HER AS WE

913
00:28:14,226 --> 00:28:17,027
RESPONSE IS NO.
BUT WHAT I SAID TO HER AS WE
STILL NEED TO THINK THROUGH ALL

914
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:18,462
BUT WHAT I SAID TO HER AS WE
STILL NEED TO THINK THROUGH ALL
THE DIFFERENT ELEMENTS OF IT.

915
00:28:18,464 --> 00:28:20,464
STILL NEED TO THINK THROUGH ALL
THE DIFFERENT ELEMENTS OF IT.
AND IF AT THE END OF THAT, YOU

916
00:28:20,466 --> 00:28:22,266
THE DIFFERENT ELEMENTS OF IT.
AND IF AT THE END OF THAT, YOU
STILL SAY NO, THEN IT'S NO.

917
00:28:22,268 --> 00:28:24,868
AND IF AT THE END OF THAT, YOU
STILL SAY NO, THEN IT'S NO.
AND SHE SORT OF CHANGED HER

918
00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:25,836
STILL SAY NO, THEN IT'S NO.
AND SHE SORT OF CHANGED HER
MIND, KIND OF.

919
00:28:25,838 --> 00:28:27,237
AND SHE SORT OF CHANGED HER
MIND, KIND OF.
>> Stephen: I'VE READ IT.

920
00:28:27,239 --> 00:28:27,504
MIND, KIND OF.
>> Stephen: I'VE READ IT.
SHE DOES.

921
00:28:27,506 --> 00:28:32,509
>> Stephen: I'VE READ IT.
SHE DOES.
>> BUT WHAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE

922
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:36,213
SHE DOES.
>> BUT WHAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE
IS-- AND I'VE NEVER FULLY GOTTEN

923
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:38,082
>> BUT WHAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE
IS-- AND I'VE NEVER FULLY GOTTEN
OUT OF THE DOG HOUSE FOR THIS--

924
00:28:38,084 --> 00:28:44,488
IS-- AND I'VE NEVER FULLY GOTTEN
OUT OF THE DOG HOUSE FOR THIS--
IS THAT I PUT HER AND OUR KIDS

925
00:28:44,490 --> 00:28:47,124
OUT OF THE DOG HOUSE FOR THIS--
IS THAT I PUT HER AND OUR KIDS
THROUGH AN EXTRAORDINARILY

926
00:28:47,126 --> 00:28:50,527
IS THAT I PUT HER AND OUR KIDS
THROUGH AN EXTRAORDINARILY
STRESSFUL, DIFFICULT SEQUENCE IN

927
00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:51,762
THROUGH AN EXTRAORDINARILY
STRESSFUL, DIFFICULT SEQUENCE IN
DECIDING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

928
00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:53,363
STRESSFUL, DIFFICULT SEQUENCE IN
DECIDING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT
RIGHT AFTER I HAD JUST GONE

929
00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:57,067
DECIDING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT
RIGHT AFTER I HAD JUST GONE
THROUGH A TOUGH RACE.

930
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:59,069
RIGHT AFTER I HAD JUST GONE
THROUGH A TOUGH RACE.
AND, YOU KNOW, MICHELLE STAYED

931
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:03,107
THROUGH A TOUGH RACE.
AND, YOU KNOW, MICHELLE STAYED
ANGRY AT ME ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.

932
00:29:03,109 --> 00:29:04,708
AND, YOU KNOW, MICHELLE STAYED
ANGRY AT ME ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.
IT WOULD FLARE UP EVERY SO

933
00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:07,644
ANGRY AT ME ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.
IT WOULD FLARE UP EVERY SO
OFTEN, BUT SHE STAYED MAD ABOUT

934
00:29:07,646 --> 00:29:10,514
IT WOULD FLARE UP EVERY SO
OFTEN, BUT SHE STAYED MAD ABOUT
IT THROUGH ALL EIGHT YEARS.

935
00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:13,951
OFTEN, BUT SHE STAYED MAD ABOUT
IT THROUGH ALL EIGHT YEARS.
AND THERE WAS A LITTLE CARRYOVER

936
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:16,053
IT THROUGH ALL EIGHT YEARS.
AND THERE WAS A LITTLE CARRYOVER
OF THE NEXT YEAR AND A HALF TAIL

937
00:29:16,055 --> 00:29:19,289
AND THERE WAS A LITTLE CARRYOVER
OF THE NEXT YEAR AND A HALF TAIL
AFTER THAT, AND I THINK WE'VE--

938
00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:23,026
OF THE NEXT YEAR AND A HALF TAIL
AFTER THAT, AND I THINK WE'VE--
YOU KNOW, SHE FINALLY SORT OF

939
00:29:23,028 --> 00:29:24,261
AFTER THAT, AND I THINK WE'VE--
YOU KNOW, SHE FINALLY SORT OF
FORGAVE ME UNTIL THIS INTERVIEW

940
00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:26,864
YOU KNOW, SHE FINALLY SORT OF
FORGAVE ME UNTIL THIS INTERVIEW
IN WHICH CASE I THINK IT'S

941
00:29:26,866 --> 00:29:28,999
FORGAVE ME UNTIL THIS INTERVIEW
IN WHICH CASE I THINK IT'S
BROUGHT UP ALL THESE BAD

942
00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:29,266
IN WHICH CASE I THINK IT'S
BROUGHT UP ALL THESE BAD
MEMORIES.

943
00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:29,833
BROUGHT UP ALL THESE BAD
MEMORIES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.

944
00:29:29,835 --> 00:29:31,368
MEMORIES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> AND I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT

945
00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:32,369
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> AND I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
I'M GOING TO BE FACING WHEN I

946
00:29:32,371 --> 00:29:32,636
>> AND I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
I'M GOING TO BE FACING WHEN I
GET HOME.

947
00:29:32,638 --> 00:29:33,937
I'M GOING TO BE FACING WHEN I
GET HOME.
>> Stephen: YOU WRITE THIS IN

948
00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:37,040
GET HOME.
>> Stephen: YOU WRITE THIS IN
THE BOOK, "THIS IS, I WAS COMING

949
00:29:37,042 --> 00:29:42,846
>> Stephen: YOU WRITE THIS IN
THE BOOK, "THIS IS, I WAS COMING
TO REALIZE, WAS THE NATURE OF

950
00:29:42,848 --> 00:29:45,716
THE BOOK, "THIS IS, I WAS COMING
TO REALIZE, WAS THE NATURE OF
THE PRESIDENCY.

951
00:29:45,718 --> 00:29:48,051
TO REALIZE, WAS THE NATURE OF
THE PRESIDENCY.
SOMETIMES YOUR MOST IMPORTANT

952
00:29:48,053 --> 00:29:56,160
THE PRESIDENCY.
SOMETIMES YOUR MOST IMPORTANT
WORK INVOLVED THE STUFF NOBODY

953
00:29:56,694 --> 00:30:00,964
NOTICED."
WHAT'S SOMETHING NOBODY STILL
HASN'T NOTICED THAT YOU GUYS

954
00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:01,131
WHAT'S SOMETHING NOBODY STILL
HASN'T NOTICED THAT YOU GUYS
DID?

955
00:30:01,133 --> 00:30:02,266
HASN'T NOTICED THAT YOU GUYS
DID?
I'M SORRY, I HAD TO SPEED IT UP

956
00:30:02,268 --> 00:30:05,869
DID?
I'M SORRY, I HAD TO SPEED IT UP
RAY LITTLE BIT THERE.

957
00:30:05,871 --> 00:30:07,171
I'M SORRY, I HAD TO SPEED IT UP
RAY LITTLE BIT THERE.
WE ONLY HAVE AN HOUR.

958
00:30:07,173 --> 00:30:07,437
RAY LITTLE BIT THERE.
WE ONLY HAVE AN HOUR.
GO AHEAD.

959
00:30:07,439 --> 00:30:10,040
WE ONLY HAVE AN HOUR.
GO AHEAD.
>> BY THE WAY, IF THAT WAS AN

960
00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:11,108
GO AHEAD.
>> BY THE WAY, IF THAT WAS AN
IMITATION OF ME, THAT WAS

961
00:30:11,110 --> 00:30:13,544
>> BY THE WAY, IF THAT WAS AN
IMITATION OF ME, THAT WAS
TERRIBLE.

962
00:30:13,546 --> 00:30:15,646
IMITATION OF ME, THAT WAS
TERRIBLE.
>> Stephen: I PLAY YOUR BOOK

963
00:30:15,648 --> 00:30:16,713
TERRIBLE.
>> Stephen: I PLAY YOUR BOOK
BACK RIGHT NOW AND SHOW YOU

964
00:30:16,715 --> 00:30:18,282
>> Stephen: I PLAY YOUR BOOK
BACK RIGHT NOW AND SHOW YOU
THAT'S HOW SLOWLY YOU READ YOUR

965
00:30:18,284 --> 00:30:18,549
BACK RIGHT NOW AND SHOW YOU
THAT'S HOW SLOWLY YOU READ YOUR
BOOK, SIR.

966
00:30:18,551 --> 00:30:20,851
THAT'S HOW SLOWLY YOU READ YOUR
BOOK, SIR.
>> IT MIGHT BE THAT SLOW, BUT IT

967
00:30:20,853 --> 00:30:23,120
BOOK, SIR.
>> IT MIGHT BE THAT SLOW, BUT IT
SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN I DO

968
00:30:23,122 --> 00:30:23,353
>> IT MIGHT BE THAT SLOW, BUT IT
SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN I DO
IT.

969
00:30:23,355 --> 00:30:23,620
SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN I DO
IT.
ANYWAY --

970
00:30:23,622 --> 00:30:24,655
IT.
ANYWAY --
>> Stephen: I'LL GRANT YOU

971
00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:24,855
ANYWAY --
>> Stephen: I'LL GRANT YOU
THAT.

972
00:30:24,857 --> 00:30:25,255
>> Stephen: I'LL GRANT YOU
THAT.
>> WE'LL MOVE ON.

973
00:30:25,257 --> 00:30:26,557
THAT.
>> WE'LL MOVE ON.
>> Stephen: I'LL GRANT YOU

974
00:30:26,559 --> 00:30:26,757
>> WE'LL MOVE ON.
>> Stephen: I'LL GRANT YOU
THAT.

975
00:30:26,759 --> 00:30:29,059
>> Stephen: I'LL GRANT YOU
THAT.
>> HERE'S A GOOD ONE.

976
00:30:29,061 --> 00:30:29,626
THAT.
>> HERE'S A GOOD ONE.
APPLIANCES.

977
00:30:29,628 --> 00:30:30,994
>> HERE'S A GOOD ONE.
APPLIANCES.
YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS

978
00:30:30,996 --> 00:30:31,195
APPLIANCES.
YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS
MUCH.

979
00:30:31,197 --> 00:30:31,695
YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS
MUCH.
>> Stephen: I DID NOT.

980
00:30:31,697 --> 00:30:33,530
MUCH.
>> Stephen: I DID NOT.
>> OVER THE COURSE OF MY

981
00:30:33,532 --> 00:30:36,700
>> Stephen: I DID NOT.
>> OVER THE COURSE OF MY
PRESIDENCY, BECAUSE OF NEW RULES

982
00:30:36,702 --> 00:30:41,638
>> OVER THE COURSE OF MY
PRESIDENCY, BECAUSE OF NEW RULES
FOR ENERGY-EFFICIENT APPLIANCES,

983
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,373
PRESIDENCY, BECAUSE OF NEW RULES
FOR ENERGY-EFFICIENT APPLIANCES,
TAKING MILLIONS OF METRIC TONS

984
00:30:43,375 --> 00:30:45,742
FOR ENERGY-EFFICIENT APPLIANCES,
TAKING MILLIONS OF METRIC TONS
OF GREENHOUSE GASES OUT OF THE

985
00:30:45,744 --> 00:30:47,110
TAKING MILLIONS OF METRIC TONS
OF GREENHOUSE GASES OUT OF THE
ATMOSPHERE, THE EQUIVALENT OF

986
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:48,912
OF GREENHOUSE GASES OUT OF THE
ATMOSPHERE, THE EQUIVALENT OF
TAKING 20 MILLION AUTOMOBILES

987
00:30:48,914 --> 00:30:51,849
ATMOSPHERE, THE EQUIVALENT OF
TAKING 20 MILLION AUTOMOBILES
OFF THE ROAD ANNUALLY, BECAUSE,

988
00:30:51,851 --> 00:30:54,251
TAKING 20 MILLION AUTOMOBILES
OFF THE ROAD ANNUALLY, BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW, YOUR FRIDGE RUNS A

989
00:30:54,253 --> 00:30:57,254
OFF THE ROAD ANNUALLY, BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW, YOUR FRIDGE RUNS A
LITTLE BIT BETTER, OR YOUR

990
00:30:57,256 --> 00:30:57,588
YOU KNOW, YOUR FRIDGE RUNS A
LITTLE BIT BETTER, OR YOUR
WASHER-DRYER.

991
00:30:57,590 --> 00:30:59,122
LITTLE BIT BETTER, OR YOUR
WASHER-DRYER.
AND I WOULD INCLUDE, BY THE WAY,

992
00:30:59,124 --> 00:31:00,791
WASHER-DRYER.
AND I WOULD INCLUDE, BY THE WAY,
PREPARATIONS ON THINGS LIKE

993
00:31:00,793 --> 00:31:01,992
AND I WOULD INCLUDE, BY THE WAY,
PREPARATIONS ON THINGS LIKE
PANDEMIC, IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY

994
00:31:01,994 --> 00:31:02,793
PREPARATIONS ON THINGS LIKE
PANDEMIC, IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY
PAYING ATTENTION TO IT.

995
00:31:02,795 --> 00:31:06,496
PANDEMIC, IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY
PAYING ATTENTION TO IT.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE KIND OF

996
00:31:06,498 --> 00:31:07,865
PAYING ATTENTION TO IT.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE KIND OF
STUFF THAT IF YOU'RE DOING IT

997
00:31:07,867 --> 00:31:11,735
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE KIND OF
STUFF THAT IF YOU'RE DOING IT
RIGHT, PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE.

998
00:31:11,737 --> 00:31:14,238
STUFF THAT IF YOU'RE DOING IT
RIGHT, PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE.
BUT IF YOU SCREW UP, THEN IT'S

999
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:14,404
RIGHT, PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE.
BUT IF YOU SCREW UP, THEN IT'S
BAD.

1000
00:31:14,406 --> 00:31:16,340
BUT IF YOU SCREW UP, THEN IT'S
BAD.
>> Stephen: LET'S TAKE ANOTHER

1001
00:31:16,342 --> 00:31:17,040
BAD.
>> Stephen: LET'S TAKE ANOTHER
QUICK BREAK.

1002
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:21,044
>> Stephen: LET'S TAKE ANOTHER
QUICK BREAK.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

1003
00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:23,747
QUICK BREAK.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.

1004
00:31:23,749 --> 00:31:25,749
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
♪ YOU CAN FEEL IT ALL OV

1005
00:31:35,126 --> 00:31:37,160
♪ ♪ ♪

1006
00:31:38,329 --> 00:31:45,235
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "A
PROMISED LAND," PRESIDENT BARACK

1007
00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:45,469
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "A
PROMISED LAND," PRESIDENT BARACK
OBAMA.

1008
00:31:45,471 --> 00:31:47,104
PROMISED LAND," PRESIDENT BARACK
OBAMA.
MR. PRESIDENT, YOU'RE FAMOUS FOR

1009
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:47,771
OBAMA.
MR. PRESIDENT, YOU'RE FAMOUS FOR
YOUR COMPETITIVENESS.

1010
00:31:47,773 --> 00:31:50,107
MR. PRESIDENT, YOU'RE FAMOUS FOR
YOUR COMPETITIVENESS.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE ME ON IN

1011
00:31:50,109 --> 00:31:52,676
YOUR COMPETITIVENESS.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE ME ON IN
A GAME OF WASTE BASKET BALL.

1012
00:31:52,678 --> 00:31:53,076
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE ME ON IN
A GAME OF WASTE BASKET BALL.
>> ABSOLUTELY.

1013
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:55,112
A GAME OF WASTE BASKET BALL.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, LET'S

1014
00:31:55,114 --> 00:31:55,612
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, LET'S
HIT SOME BASHETS.

1015
00:31:55,614 --> 00:31:58,448
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, LET'S
HIT SOME BASHETS.
>> LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION:

1016
00:31:58,450 --> 00:32:02,452
HIT SOME BASHETS.
>> LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION:
DID HE PRACTICE A LOT ON THIS

1017
00:32:02,454 --> 00:32:04,621
>> LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION:
DID HE PRACTICE A LOT ON THIS
WHOLE WASTE BASKET BASKETBALL

1018
00:32:04,623 --> 00:32:05,188
DID HE PRACTICE A LOT ON THIS
WHOLE WASTE BASKET BASKETBALL
IDEA?

1019
00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:06,156
WHOLE WASTE BASKET BASKETBALL
IDEA?
HAS HE BEEN PRACTICING, LIKE,

1020
00:32:06,158 --> 00:32:06,957
IDEA?
HAS HE BEEN PRACTICING, LIKE,
ALL MONTH FOR THIS.

1021
00:32:06,959 --> 00:32:07,457
HAS HE BEEN PRACTICING, LIKE,
ALL MONTH FOR THIS.
>> Stephen: NO!

1022
00:32:07,459 --> 00:32:09,593
ALL MONTH FOR THIS.
>> Stephen: NO!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE SOME

1023
00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:10,360
>> Stephen: NO!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE SOME
PRACTICE SHOTS FIRST?

1024
00:32:10,362 --> 00:32:12,062
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE SOME
PRACTICE SHOTS FIRST?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE SOME

1025
00:32:12,064 --> 00:32:12,429
PRACTICE SHOTS FIRST?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE SOME
PRACTICE SHOTS.

1026
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:15,132
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE SOME
PRACTICE SHOTS.
>> I DON'T NEED PRACTICE SHOTS.

1027
00:32:15,134 --> 00:32:15,799
PRACTICE SHOTS.
>> I DON'T NEED PRACTICE SHOTS.
AGAINST YOU.

1028
00:32:15,801 --> 00:32:17,434
>> I DON'T NEED PRACTICE SHOTS.
AGAINST YOU.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT,

1029
00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:18,101
AGAINST YOU.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT,
BASHET'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

1030
00:32:18,103 --> 00:32:18,969
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT,
BASHET'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
INSIDE YOUR THING OVER HERE.

1031
00:32:18,971 --> 00:32:22,706
BASHET'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
INSIDE YOUR THING OVER HERE.
>> OH, I ALREADY HAVE MY-- YOU.

1032
00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:23,407
INSIDE YOUR THING OVER HERE.
>> OH, I ALREADY HAVE MY-- YOU.
>> Stephen:  ALREADY HAVE

1033
00:32:23,409 --> 00:32:25,075
>> OH, I ALREADY HAVE MY-- YOU.
>> Stephen:  ALREADY HAVE
YOURS RIGHT THERE.

1034
00:32:25,077 --> 00:32:26,510
>> Stephen:  ALREADY HAVE
YOURS RIGHT THERE.
THERE ARE 10 PAPER BALLS.

1035
00:32:26,512 --> 00:32:28,345
YOURS RIGHT THERE.
THERE ARE 10 PAPER BALLS.
YOURS IS A YELLOW LEGAL PAD,

1036
00:32:28,347 --> 00:32:31,048
THERE ARE 10 PAPER BALLS.
YOURS IS A YELLOW LEGAL PAD,
WHICH I BELIEVE IS HOW YOU WROTE

1037
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:31,682
YOURS IS A YELLOW LEGAL PAD,
WHICH I BELIEVE IS HOW YOU WROTE
YOUR BOOK.

1038
00:32:31,684 --> 00:32:32,182
WHICH I BELIEVE IS HOW YOU WROTE
YOUR BOOK.
>> WHAT IS YOUR S.

1039
00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:33,917
YOUR BOOK.
>> WHAT IS YOUR S.
>> Stephen:  I HAVE BLUE

1040
00:32:33,919 --> 00:32:34,284
>> WHAT IS YOUR S.
>> Stephen:  I HAVE BLUE
SCRIPT PAPER.

1041
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:38,789
>> Stephen:  I HAVE BLUE
SCRIPT PAPER.
>> HOW COME IT SEEMS LIKE YOURS

1042
00:32:38,791 --> 00:32:39,890
SCRIPT PAPER.
>> HOW COME IT SEEMS LIKE YOURS
IS CRUMPLED UP MORE.

1043
00:32:39,892 --> 00:32:41,191
>> HOW COME IT SEEMS LIKE YOURS
IS CRUMPLED UP MORE.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I SQUEEZED

1044
00:32:41,193 --> 00:32:41,391
IS CRUMPLED UP MORE.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I SQUEEZED
THEM.

1045
00:32:41,393 --> 00:32:42,492
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I SQUEEZED
THEM.
>> NOT ONLY DID YOU PRACTICE--

1046
00:32:42,494 --> 00:32:44,328
THEM.
>> NOT ONLY DID YOU PRACTICE--
LOOK AT THIS ONE-- LOOK AT THIS

1047
00:32:44,330 --> 00:32:45,295
>> NOT ONLY DID YOU PRACTICE--
LOOK AT THIS ONE-- LOOK AT THIS
ONE COMPARED TO YOURS.

1048
00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:46,296
LOOK AT THIS ONE-- LOOK AT THIS
ONE COMPARED TO YOURS.
>> Stephen: TAKE A MOMENT.

1049
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:46,763
ONE COMPARED TO YOURS.
>> Stephen: TAKE A MOMENT.
TAKE A MOMENT.

1050
00:32:46,765 --> 00:32:49,166
>> Stephen: TAKE A MOMENT.
TAKE A MOMENT.
>> AND...

1051
00:32:49,168 --> 00:32:50,267
TAKE A MOMENT.
>> AND...
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO

1052
00:32:50,269 --> 00:32:50,600
>> AND...
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO
TRADE BALLS?

1053
00:32:50,602 --> 00:32:52,703
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO
TRADE BALLS?
>> NO, BUT I JUST THINK AS A

1054
00:32:52,705 --> 00:32:53,904
TRADE BALLS?
>> NO, BUT I JUST THINK AS A
MATTER OF PRINCIPLE, THE FACT

1055
00:32:53,906 --> 00:32:55,472
>> NO, BUT I JUST THINK AS A
MATTER OF PRINCIPLE, THE FACT
THAT YOU DIDN'T......

1056
00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:57,641
MATTER OF PRINCIPLE, THE FACT
THAT YOU DIDN'T......
>> Stephen: SO HEREs.

1057
00:32:57,643 --> 00:32:58,742
THAT YOU DIDN'T......
>> Stephen: SO HEREs.
IT'S JUST 10.

1058
00:32:58,744 --> 00:33:02,112
>> Stephen: SO HEREs.
IT'S JUST 10.
>> Stephen.>> ARE WE TIMING THIU

1059
00:33:02,114 --> 00:33:03,613
IT'S JUST 10.
>> Stephen.>> ARE WE TIMING THIU
JUST GOING TO GO "10."

1060
00:33:03,615 --> 00:33:05,282
>> Stephen.>> ARE WE TIMING THIU
JUST GOING TO GO "10."
>> Stephen: WE CAN SHOOT AT

1061
00:33:05,284 --> 00:33:05,849
JUST GOING TO GO "10."
>> Stephen: WE CAN SHOOT AT
THE SAME TIME, IF YOU WANT.

1062
00:33:05,851 --> 00:33:07,050
>> Stephen: WE CAN SHOOT AT
THE SAME TIME, IF YOU WANT.
>> I JUST DON'T TRUST YOU.

1063
00:33:07,052 --> 00:33:08,652
THE SAME TIME, IF YOU WANT.
>> I JUST DON'T TRUST YOU.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, LET'S GO.

1064
00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:09,953
>> I JUST DON'T TRUST YOU.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, LET'S GO.
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO

1065
00:33:09,955 --> 00:33:10,721
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, LET'S GO.
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO
MAKE IT INTERESTING?

1066
00:33:10,723 --> 00:33:12,489
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO
MAKE IT INTERESTING?
IF-- IF I WIN, YOU HAVE TO

1067
00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:14,658
MAKE IT INTERESTING?
IF-- IF I WIN, YOU HAVE TO
MENTION ME IN YOUR NEXT BOOK.

1068
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,526
IF-- IF I WIN, YOU HAVE TO
MENTION ME IN YOUR NEXT BOOK.
>> AND WHAT IF I WIN.

1069
00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:18,028
MENTION ME IN YOUR NEXT BOOK.
>> AND WHAT IF I WIN.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

1070
00:33:18,030 --> 00:33:20,263
>> AND WHAT IF I WIN.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
>> NOBODY'S GOING TO READ YOUR

1071
00:33:20,265 --> 00:33:20,897
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
>> NOBODY'S GOING TO READ YOUR
BOOK ANYWAY, SO

1072
00:33:20,899 --> 00:33:21,765
>> NOBODY'S GOING TO READ YOUR
BOOK ANYWAY, SO
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>

1073
00:33:21,767 --> 00:33:22,265
BOOK ANYWAY, SO
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
IT DOESN'T MATTER.

1074
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:23,300
<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE.

1075
00:33:23,302 --> 00:33:23,767
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE.
YOU READY.

1076
00:33:23,769 --> 00:33:25,002
I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE.
YOU READY.
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT THIS:

1077
00:33:25,004 --> 00:33:26,536
YOU READY.
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT THIS:
HOW ABOUT I'LL MAKE A DONATION

1078
00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:27,037
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT THIS:
HOW ABOUT I'LL MAKE A DONATION
TO YOUR LIBRARY.

1079
00:33:27,039 --> 00:33:29,806
HOW ABOUT I'LL MAKE A DONATION
TO YOUR LIBRARY.
>> NOW, THAT-- THAT IS IS

1080
00:33:29,808 --> 00:33:31,208
TO YOUR LIBRARY.
>> NOW, THAT-- THAT IS IS
WORTH-- WORTH-- IS THIS AN EQUAL

1081
00:33:31,210 --> 00:33:31,942
>> NOW, THAT-- THAT IS IS
WORTH-- WORTH-- IS THIS AN EQUAL
DISTANCE, BY THE WAY?

1082
00:33:31,944 --> 00:33:33,276
WORTH-- WORTH-- IS THIS AN EQUAL
DISTANCE, BY THE WAY?
>> Stephen: THEY MEASURED IS

1083
00:33:33,278 --> 00:33:33,443
DISTANCE, BY THE WAY?
>> Stephen: THEY MEASURED IS
OUT.

1084
00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:35,746
>> Stephen: THEY MEASURED IS
OUT.
>> ALL RIGHT.

1085
00:33:35,748 --> 00:33:35,946
OUT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
READY?

1086
00:33:35,948 --> 00:33:40,617
>> ALL RIGHT.
READY?
>> Stephen: YUP.

1087
00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:43,987
READY?
>> Stephen: YUP.
>> WE'RE TERRIBLE!

1088
00:33:43,989 --> 00:33:46,189
>> Stephen: YUP.
>> WE'RE TERRIBLE!
( BELL RINGS ).

1089
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:46,757
>> WE'RE TERRIBLE!
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: PRESSURE'S ON.

1090
00:33:46,759 --> 00:33:47,624
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: PRESSURE'S ON.
>> OH!

1091
00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:49,192
>> Stephen: PRESSURE'S ON.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: YOU GOTTA--

1092
00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:50,961
>> OH!
>> Stephen: YOU GOTTA--
( BELL RINGS ).

1093
00:33:50,963 --> 00:33:51,895
>> Stephen: YOU GOTTA--
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: OH, NO!

1094
00:33:51,897 --> 00:33:54,664
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: OH, NO!
>> OH, MAN!

1095
00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:56,166
>> Stephen: OH, NO!
>> OH, MAN!
( BELL RINGS ).

1096
00:33:56,168 --> 00:33:57,801
>> OH, MAN!
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: IT'S WHAT I DO!

1097
00:33:57,803 --> 00:33:58,268
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: IT'S WHAT I DO!
IT'S WHAT I DO.

1098
00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:00,470
>> Stephen: IT'S WHAT I DO!
IT'S WHAT I DO.
>> IT'S NOT FINISHED YET.

1099
00:34:00,472 --> 00:34:01,238
IT'S WHAT I DO.
>> IT'S NOT FINISHED YET.
HOW MANY MORE YOU HAVE GOT.

1100
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,373
>> IT'S NOT FINISHED YET.
HOW MANY MORE YOU HAVE GOT.
>> Stephen: I GOT FIVE MORE

1101
00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:03,640
HOW MANY MORE YOU HAVE GOT.
>> Stephen: I GOT FIVE MORE
OVER HERE.

1102
00:34:03,642 --> 00:34:07,110
>> Stephen: I GOT FIVE MORE
OVER HERE.
>> I HAVE TO MAKE AT LEAST THESE

1103
00:34:07,112 --> 00:34:09,079
OVER HERE.
>> I HAVE TO MAKE AT LEAST THESE
LAST THREE.

1104
00:34:09,081 --> 00:34:12,182
>> I HAVE TO MAKE AT LEAST THESE
LAST THREE.
>> I'M SPENDING ALL MY TIME

1105
00:34:12,184 --> 00:34:13,183
LAST THREE.
>> I'M SPENDING ALL MY TIME
CRUMPLING MY BALLS HERE.

1106
00:34:13,185 --> 00:34:15,118
>> I'M SPENDING ALL MY TIME
CRUMPLING MY BALLS HERE.
ALL RIGHT.

1107
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:15,285
CRUMPLING MY BALLS HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
OH!

1108
00:34:15,287 --> 00:34:17,087
ALL RIGHT.
OH!
THAT WAS SO CLOSE.

1109
00:34:17,089 --> 00:34:18,055
OH!
THAT WAS SO CLOSE.
( BELL RINGS.

1110
00:34:18,057 --> 00:34:21,691
THAT WAS SO CLOSE.
( BELL RINGS.
>> COLBERT, I'M GETTING CRUSHED.

1111
00:34:21,693 --> 00:34:22,592
( BELL RINGS.
>> COLBERT, I'M GETTING CRUSHED.
LAUGHS )

1112
00:34:22,594 --> 00:34:23,393
>> COLBERT, I'M GETTING CRUSHED.
LAUGHS )
( BELL RINGS )

1113
00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:26,296
LAUGHS )
( BELL RINGS )
OH, MAN!

1114
00:34:26,298 --> 00:34:27,631
( BELL RINGS )
OH, MAN!
( BELL RINGS )

1115
00:34:27,633 --> 00:34:28,899
OH, MAN!
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH!

1116
00:34:28,901 --> 00:34:30,901
( BELL RINGS )
>> OH!
OH!

1117
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:32,869
>> OH!
OH!
( BELL RINGS ).

1118
00:34:32,871 --> 00:34:34,604
OH!
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: WOOOOO!

1119
00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:37,507
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: WOOOOO!
>> I DIDN'T EVEN HIT ONE.

1120
00:34:37,509 --> 00:34:40,444
>> Stephen: WOOOOO!
>> I DIDN'T EVEN HIT ONE.
HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE THIS

1121
00:34:40,446 --> 00:34:41,044
>> I DIDN'T EVEN HIT ONE.
HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE THIS
DOWN?

1122
00:34:41,046 --> 00:34:42,245
HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE THIS
DOWN?
HOLD ON A SECOND.

1123
00:34:42,247 --> 00:34:42,946
DOWN?
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I GOT ONE MORE.

1124
00:34:42,948 --> 00:34:45,549
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I GOT ONE MORE.
>> Stephen: THIS IS FOR

1125
00:34:45,551 --> 00:34:46,083
I GOT ONE MORE.
>> Stephen: THIS IS FOR
EVERYTHING.

1126
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:47,117
>> Stephen: THIS IS FOR
EVERYTHING.
OH!

1127
00:34:47,119 --> 00:34:48,051
EVERYTHING.
OH!
( BELL RINGS ).

1128
00:34:48,053 --> 00:34:49,152
OH!
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: YOU LET ME WIN.

1129
00:34:49,154 --> 00:34:50,353
( BELL RINGS ).
>> Stephen: YOU LET ME WIN.
>> NO, LOOK AT ME.

1130
00:34:50,355 --> 00:34:51,488
>> Stephen: YOU LET ME WIN.
>> NO, LOOK AT ME.
<i> (  LAUGHTER  )</i>

1131
00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:52,055
>> NO, LOOK AT ME.
<i> (  LAUGHTER  )</i>
ALL RIGHT.

1132
00:34:52,057 --> 00:34:54,958
<i> (  LAUGHTER  )</i>
ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THAT MADE THIS MY

1133
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:55,659
ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THAT MADE THIS MY
FARCHT INTERVIEW OF ALL TIME.

1134
00:34:55,661 --> 00:34:57,627
>> Stephen: THAT MADE THIS MY
FARCHT INTERVIEW OF ALL TIME.
>> YEAH, YEAH.

1135
00:34:57,629 --> 00:34:59,629
FARCHT INTERVIEW OF ALL TIME.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
I WILL NEVER-- I'VE LOST MY SWAG

1136
00:34:59,631 --> 00:35:00,997
>> YEAH, YEAH.
I WILL NEVER-- I'VE LOST MY SWAG
ON "STEPHEN COLBERT."

1137
00:35:00,999 --> 00:35:02,699
I WILL NEVER-- I'VE LOST MY SWAG
ON "STEPHEN COLBERT."
>> Stephen: REALLY, VERY LAST

1138
00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:02,966
ON "STEPHEN COLBERT."
>> Stephen: REALLY, VERY LAST
QUESTION.

1139
00:35:02,968 --> 00:35:04,601
>> Stephen: REALLY, VERY LAST
QUESTION.
NOT EVEN A QUESTION, JUST A

1140
00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:06,236
QUESTION.
NOT EVEN A QUESTION, JUST A
STATEMENT-- THANK YOU FOR BEING

1141
00:35:06,238 --> 00:35:07,104
NOT EVEN A QUESTION, JUST A
STATEMENT-- THANK YOU FOR BEING
PRESIDENT.

1142
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:20,584
STATEMENT-- THANK YOU FOR BEING
PRESIDENT.
♪ ♪ ♪

1143
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:36,967
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
SHE WAS NOMINATED FOR FIVE
GRAMMYS TODAY AND IS ONE OF

1144
00:35:36,969 --> 00:35:38,268
SHE WAS NOMINATED FOR FIVE
GRAMMYS TODAY AND IS ONE OF
PRESIDENT OBAMA'S FAVORITE

1145
00:35:38,270 --> 00:35:39,503
GRAMMYS TODAY AND IS ONE OF
PRESIDENT OBAMA'S FAVORITE
ARTISTS.

1146
00:35:39,505 --> 00:35:40,871
PRESIDENT OBAMA'S FAVORITE
ARTISTS.
PERFORMING A SPECIAL COVER OF

1147
00:35:40,873 --> 00:35:48,845
ARTISTS.
PERFORMING A SPECIAL COVER OF
"REVOLUTION," BRITTANY HOWARD.

1148
00:35:48,847 --> 00:35:52,816
PERFORMING A SPECIAL COVER OF
"REVOLUTION," BRITTANY HOWARD.
♪ ♪ ♪

1149
00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:53,283
"REVOLUTION," BRITTANY HOWARD.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> WE GOT A REVOLUTION

1150
00:35:53,285 --> 00:36:00,824
♪ ♪ ♪
>> WE GOT A REVOLUTION
THE FACE OF THINGS TO COME

1151
00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:08,932
>> WE GOT A REVOLUTION
THE FACE OF THINGS TO COME
♪ YEAH,

1152
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:24,814
♪ I'M GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT
DESTRUCTION
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE ALL

1153
00:36:24,816 --> 00:36:27,384
DESTRUCTION
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE ALL
RIGHT

1154
00:36:27,386 --> 00:36:28,652
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE ALL
RIGHT
♪ WELL, IT IS NOW

1155
00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:36,760
RIGHT
♪ WELL, IT IS NOW
ALL RIGHT.

1156
00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:49,005
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ SOME FOLKS ARE GONNA GET THE
NOTION

1157
00:36:49,007 --> 00:36:51,875
♪ SOME FOLKS ARE GONNA GET THE
NOTION
♪ WELL, THEY SAY

1158
00:36:51,877 --> 00:36:59,983
NOTION
♪ WELL, THEY SAY
THEY SAY I'M PREACHING HATE

1159
00:37:00,918 --> 00:37:07,724
♪ WELL, IF I HAD TO SWIM THE
OCEAN
♪ WELL, YOU KNOW, I WOULD

1160
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:11,261
OCEAN
♪ WELL, YOU KNOW, I WOULD
JUST TO COMMUNICATE

1161
00:37:11,263 --> 00:37:17,033
♪ WELL, YOU KNOW, I WOULD
JUST TO COMMUNICATE
♪ IT AIN'T AS EASY AS

1162
00:37:17,035 --> 00:37:18,969
JUST TO COMMUNICATE
♪ IT AIN'T AS EASY AS
JUST TO SAY ALIVE

1163
00:37:18,971 --> 00:37:23,273
♪ IT AIN'T AS EASY AS
JUST TO SAY ALIVE
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE

1164
00:37:23,275 --> 00:37:24,107
JUST TO SAY ALIVE
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT

1165
00:37:24,109 --> 00:37:28,845
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, IT IS

1166
00:37:28,847 --> 00:37:32,849
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, IT IS
ALL RIGHT

1167
00:37:32,851 --> 00:37:38,922
♪ WELL, IT IS
ALL RIGHT
♪ OOOO, REVOLUTION

1168
00:37:38,924 --> 00:37:46,529
ALL RIGHT
♪ OOOO, REVOLUTION
I'M SINGING ABOUT THE REVOLUTION

1169
00:37:46,531 --> 00:37:48,999
♪ OOOO, REVOLUTION
I'M SINGING ABOUT THE REVOLUTION
'CAUSE I SEE WE GOT TO MAKE A

1170
00:37:49,001 --> 00:37:54,537
I'M SINGING ABOUT THE REVOLUTION
'CAUSE I SEE WE GOT TO MAKE A
CHANGE

1171
00:37:54,539 --> 00:37:56,840
'CAUSE I SEE WE GOT TO MAKE A
CHANGE
♪ IT'S MORE THAN JUST AIR

1172
00:37:56,842 --> 00:37:58,441
CHANGE
♪ IT'S MORE THAN JUST AIR
POLLUTION

1173
00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:03,980
♪ IT'S MORE THAN JUST AIR
POLLUTION
♪ BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOME FOLKS

1174
00:38:03,982 --> 00:38:06,383
POLLUTION
♪ BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOME FOLKS
THEY GOT TO CLEAN THEIR BRAINS

1175
00:38:06,385 --> 00:38:14,491
♪ BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOME FOLKS
THEY GOT TO CLEAN THEIR BRAINS
♪ AND NOT A SIM

1176
00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:24,834
BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL IT IS

1177
00:38:24,836 --> 00:38:29,439
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL IT IS
ALL RIGHT

1178
00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:32,976
♪ WELL IT IS
ALL RIGHT
♪ ONE, TWO, THREE NOW

1179
00:38:32,978 --> 00:38:35,178
ALL RIGHT
♪ ONE, TWO, THREE NOW
WHAT DO YOU SEE NOW.

1180
00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:36,980
♪ ONE, TWO, THREE NOW
WHAT DO YOU SEE NOW.
♪ FOUR, FIVE, SIX

1181
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:38,682
WHAT DO YOU SEE NOW.
♪ FOUR, FIVE, SIX
FOUR, FIVE, SIX

1182
00:38:38,684 --> 00:38:40,850
♪ FOUR, FIVE, SIX
FOUR, FIVE, SIX
♪ YOU KNOW I GOT TO HAVE MY

1183
00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:42,986
FOUR, FIVE, SIX
♪ YOU KNOW I GOT TO HAVE MY
STICK

1184
00:38:42,988 --> 00:38:43,987
♪ YOU KNOW I GOT TO HAVE MY
STICK
DO YOUR THING.

1185
00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:47,857
STICK
DO YOUR THING.
♪ DO YOUR THING WHENEVER YOU CN

1186
00:38:47,859 --> 00:38:48,024
DO YOUR THING.
♪ DO YOUR THING WHENEVER YOU CN
NOW

1187
00:38:48,026 --> 00:38:54,998
♪ DO YOUR THING WHENEVER YOU CN
NOW
♪ AND IF YOU MUST NOW

1188
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,067
NOW
♪ AND IF YOU MUST NOW
ALL RIGHT.

1189
00:38:57,069 --> 00:39:00,036
♪ AND IF YOU MUST NOW
ALL RIGHT.
♪ IT WILL BE

1190
00:39:00,038 --> 00:39:00,303
ALL RIGHT.
♪ IT WILL BE
ALL RIGHT

1191
00:39:00,305 --> 00:39:04,841
♪ IT WILL BE
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL ALL RIGHT

1192
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,576
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL ALL RIGHT
STAY ALIVE Y'ALL

1193
00:39:06,578 --> 00:39:08,745
♪ WELL ALL RIGHT
STAY ALIVE Y'ALL
♪ DO YOUR THING NOW

1194
00:39:08,747 --> 00:39:09,012
STAY ALIVE Y'ALL
♪ DO YOUR THING NOW
ALL RIGHT

1195
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:11,848
♪ DO YOUR THING NOW
ALL RIGHT
♪ WHENEVER YOU CAN NOW

1196
00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:13,717
ALL RIGHT
♪ WHENEVER YOU CAN NOW
ALL RIGHT

1197
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,819
♪ WHENEVER YOU CAN NOW
ALL RIGHT
♪ AND IF YOU MUST NOW

1198
00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:18,321
ALL RIGHT
♪ AND IF YOU MUST NOW
YOU GOT TO TAKE YOUR STAND RIGHT

1199
00:39:18,323 --> 00:39:18,488
♪ AND IF YOU MUST NOW
YOU GOT TO TAKE YOUR STAND RIGHT
NOW

1200
00:39:18,490 --> 00:39:18,755
YOU GOT TO TAKE YOUR STAND RIGHT
NOW
ALL RIGHT

1201
00:39:18,757 --> 00:39:19,989
NOW
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT

1202
00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:20,256
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
ALL RIGHT

1203
00:39:20,258 --> 00:39:24,828
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT

1204
00:39:24,830 --> 00:39:25,562
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT

1205
00:39:25,564 --> 00:39:25,829
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT
ALL RIGHT

1206
00:39:25,831 --> 00:39:28,865
WELL, ALL RIGHT
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT

1207
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,300
ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT

1208
00:39:30,302 --> 00:39:33,503
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT

1209
00:39:33,505 --> 00:39:36,840
WELL, ALL RIGHT
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT NOW

1210
00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:39,709
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT
WELL, ALL RIGHT NOW
♪ ALL RIGHT NOW

1211
00:39:39,711 --> 00:39:40,610
WELL, ALL RIGHT NOW
♪ ALL RIGHT NOW
ALL RIGHT

1212
00:39:40,612 --> 00:39:42,879
♪ ALL RIGHT NOW
ALL RIGHT
♪ YOU GOTTA DO IT NOW

1213
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:43,913
ALL RIGHT
♪ YOU GOTTA DO IT NOW
STAND UP NOW

1214
00:39:43,915 --> 00:39:52,021
♪ YOU GOTTA DO IT NOW
STAND UP NOW
♪ STAND UP NOW

1215
00:39:59,296 --> 00:40:03,133
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "A
LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS

1216
00:40:03,135 --> 00:40:04,367
LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE ROB CORDDRY, AND I'M

1217
00:40:04,369 --> 00:40:05,101
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE ROB CORDDRY, AND I'M
GOING TO GO UP ON THE ROOF OF

1218
00:40:05,103 --> 00:40:09,105
WILL BE ROB CORDDRY, AND I'M
GOING TO GO UP ON THE ROOF OF
THE ED SULLIVAN TO COOK WITH

1219
00:40:09,107 --> 00:40:10,640
GOING TO GO UP ON THE ROOF OF
THE ED SULLIVAN TO COOK WITH
CHEF JOSÉ ANDRÉS.

1220
00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:11,641
THE ED SULLIVAN TO COOK WITH
CHEF JOSÉ ANDRÉS.
AND NEXT MONDAY, WE WILL HAVE AN

1221
00:40:11,643 --> 00:40:13,076
CHEF JOSÉ ANDRÉS.
AND NEXT MONDAY, WE WILL HAVE AN
ENTIRE SHOW WITH THE REST OF MY

1222
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:17,313
AND NEXT MONDAY, WE WILL HAVE AN
ENTIRE SHOW WITH THE REST OF MY
INTERVIEW WITH PRESIDENT BARACK

1223
00:40:17,315 --> 00:40:20,450
ENTIRE SHOW WITH THE REST OF MY
INTERVIEW WITH PRESIDENT BARACK
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.

1224
00:40:20,452 --> 00:40:21,050
INTERVIEW WITH PRESIDENT BARACK
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.

1225
00:40:22,686 --> 00:40:23,219
<font color="#ffff00"> Captioning sponsored by CBS</font>

1226
00:40:23,954 --> 00:40:26,322
Captioned by
<font color="#00ffff"> Media Access Group at WGBH</font>
access.wgbh.org