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>> THE C.D.C. RELEASING
GUIDELINES FOR THANKSGIVING

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TRAVEL THIS PAST THURSDAY.

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THEY'RE SAYING STAY HOME, RESIST
TRAVELING LONG DISTANCES FOR

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LARGE FAMILY FEASTS.

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>> THIS YEAR COVID 19 IS FORCING
AMERICANS TO MAKE THE TOUGH

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DECISIONS TO SKIP THEIR FAMILY'S
THANKSGIVING GATHERINGS.

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WHILE PUMPKIN PIE AND FOOTBALL
CAN STILL BE ENJOYED FROM HOME,

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THANKSGIVING ISN'T THE SAME
WITHOUT FAMILY.

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INTRODUCING BLOW UP CRAZY UNCLE.

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SIMPLY FILL HIM UP WITH AIR,
ALONG WITH 10 OUNCES OF JIM

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BEAM, AND LET CRAZY UNCLE DO THE
REST.

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>> WHY SHOULD GAGE BE ALLOWED TO
GET MARRIED WHEN WINDHAM WON'T

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EVEN TALK TO ME IN LINE AT THE
CAR WASH?

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I PAID FOR THE HOT WAX.

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>> THANKSGIVING JUST WOULDN'T BE
THE SAME WITHOUT QUIETLY

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GRITTING YOUR TEETH AND PRAYING
FOR IT TO BE OVER.

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>> SO JOE BIDEN CAN CALL HIMSELF
PRESIDENT-ELECT, BUT I CAN'T

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CALL YOUR AUNT RONDA BECAUSE OF
THE RESTRAINING ORDER?

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DEEP STATE.

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>> AND JUST LIKE YOUR ACTUAL
CRAZY UNCLE, HE DOESN'T KNOW

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WHEN TO LEAVE.

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>> IT'S PRONOUNCED KAMALA.

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CASA BLANCA?

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NO, IT'S KAMA, THEN LA.

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KOOKABURRA?

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YAHTZEE.

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>> THIS IS SETTLERS OF CATAN.

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( BELCHES )
>> BLOWUP CRAZY UNCLE.

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BECAUSE A FAMILY THAT INFLATES
TOGETHER CELEBRATES TOGETHER.

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>> YOU KNOW ANY FEMALE SEX DOLLS
YOU CAN SET ME UP WITH?

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HELL, GIVE ME A BEACH BALL.

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I'M NOT PICKY.

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>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.

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TONIGHT'S TRANSITION TO
GREATNESS.

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PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES GLENN
CLOSE AND MUSICAL GUEST KANE

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BROWN WITH SWAY LEE AND KHALID,
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY

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HOMIN."

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AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE

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BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT!

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>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

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WELCOME!

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WELCOME!

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HERE'S MUD IN YOUR EYE -- TO "A
LATE SHOW."

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I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

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I'M VERY EXCITED.

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I'M ALSO A LITTLE TIRED BECAUSE
I GOT UP WAY EARLY THIS MORNING

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AND INTERVIEWED BARACK OBAMA
TODAY.

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THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME
DRIVING NOW IS MY POST-OBAMA

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HIGH,
JUST WHAT YOU WANT TO MAKE YOU

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FEEL BETTER AFTER A MAGA
HANGOVER.

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ALSO KNOWN AS A COMBOVER.

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IT WAS A GREAT INTERVIEW, AND IN
-- JUST FRIENDS HANGING OUT,

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MAN!

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( LAUGHTER )
IT WAS GOOD.

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IT WAS GOOD.

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IN KEEPING WITH HIS LONG HISTORY
OF PAUSES, I WILL BE AIRING

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THAT INTERVIEW... UH...

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TOMORROW.

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BUT OF COURSE WE HAVE A CURRENT
PRESIDENT THAT DOESN'T WANT TO

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BE A FORMER PRESIDENT.

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I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
ANOTHER EDITION OF OUR

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NEVER-ENDING SEGMENT:
>> NO! NO!

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HELP ME RUDY WAN GIULIANI,
YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!

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MAY THE FRAUD BE WITH YOU
ALWAYS.

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>> Stephen: THE ROAD FROM THE
WHITE HOUSE!

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>> STEPHEN: THE PRESIDENT'S
SLOW-MOVING COUP IS NOT GOING

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WELL.

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THIS AFTERNOON, THE MICHIGAN
ELECTION BOARD CERTIFIED JOE

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BIDEN'S WIN IN THAT STATE.

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THEN, TONIGHT WE LEARNED THAT
THE GENERAL SERVICES

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ADMINISTRATION
INFORMED PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE

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BIDEN THE ADMINISTRATION IS
READY TO BEGIN THE FORMAL

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TRANSITION PROCESS, ACCORDING TO
A LETTER FROM ADMINISTRATOR,

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EMILY MURPHY.

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SO IT'S OFFICIAL: OUR NEXT
COMMANDER IN CHIEF WILL BE

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PRESIDENT BIDEN.

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WHICH MEANS SOMEWHERE, RUDY
GIULIANI IS FILING A LAST-DITCH

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LEGAL CLAIM THAT OUR CURRENT
PRESIDENT'S NAME HAS ALWAYS BEEN

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"JOE BIDEN."

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EMILY MURPHY, WHO IS, AGAIN, THE
HEAD OF THE G.S.A., WANTED TO

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MAKE IT CLEAR THAT SHE WAS
NOBODY'S PATSY, WRITING, "I WAS

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NEVER DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY
PRESSURED BY ANY EXECUTIVE

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BRANCH OFFICIAL, INCLUDING THOSE
WHO WORK AT THE WHITE HOUSE OR

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G.S.A., WITH REGARD TO THE
SUBSTANCE OR TIMING OF MY

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DECISION."

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ADDING, "ALSO, I'M THE ONE WHO
LEFT A BAG OF ONION RINGS IN THE

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BOTTOM DRAWER OF THE RESOLUTE
DESK AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT IT SO

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NOW THE WHOLE OVAL OFFICE SMELLS
LIKE MOLDY

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ONIONS."

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THEN SOMETHING UNTHINKABLE
HAPPENED, THE PRESIDENT MADE A

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REASONABLE STATEMENT TWEETING,
"I WANT TO THANK EMILY MURPHY AT

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GSA FOR HER STEADFAST DEDICATION
AND LOYALTY TO OUR COUNTRY.

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I BELIEVE WE WILL PREVAIL!

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NEVERTHELESS, IN THE BEST
INTEREST OF OUR COUNTRY, I AM

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RECOMMENDING THAT EMILY AND HER
TEAM DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

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WITH REGARD TO INITIAL
PROTOCOLS, AND HAVE TOLD MY TEAM

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TO DO THE SAME.

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TURNS OUT, THIS WHOLE TIME, ALL
HE HAD TO DO TO SOUND

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PRESIDENTIAL WAS JUST NOT BE
PRESIDENT ANYMORE.

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ELSEWHERES, IN GEORGIA,
OFFICIALS HAVE JUST COMPLETED A

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HAND RECOUNT OF THE ENTIRE STATE
AND CONFIRMED THAT JOE BIDEN

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WON.

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SO THE PRESIDENT SAW THE WRITING
ON THE WALL AND GRACIOUSLY ASKED

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GEORGIA FOR ANOTHER ELECTION
RECOUNT.

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HE WANTS THEM TO RECOUNT THE
RECOUNT.

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MR. PRESIDENT, THINGS DON'T
NECESSARILY GET BETTER WHEN YOU

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ASK FOR A DO-OVER.

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LOOK AT ERIC.

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I CAN'T REMEMBER A BIGGER SORE
LOSER THAN THIS.

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IT'S LIKE WHEN ALI KNOCKED OUT
SONNY LISTON AND HE HELD UP THAT

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SIGN THAT SAID, "I ACTUALLY WON.

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BOXING FRAUD!"
IN PENNSYLVANIA, A REPUBLICAN

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FEDERAL JUDGE DISMISSED THE
CAMPAIGN'S LAWSUIT SEEKING TO

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THROW OUT NEARLY SEVEN MILLION
PENNSYLVANIA VOTES, DECLARING

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THAT THE PRESIDENT'S LAWYERS
PRESENTED, "STRAINED LEGAL

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ARGUMENTS WITHOUT MERIT
AND SPECULATIVE ACCUSATIONS,

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UNSUPPORTED BY EVIDENCE.

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IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
THIS CANNOT JUSTIFY THE

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DISENFRANCHISEMENT OF A SINGLE
VOTER, LET ALONE ALL THE VOTERS

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OF ITS SIXTH MOST POPULATED
STATE."

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DON'T KNOW WHY THEY'RE
SURPRISED.

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IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE, RIGHT ON
THE PRESIDENT'S HAT.

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MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.

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EXCEPT YOU, PENNSYLVANIA.

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SUCK IT WIT WHIZ!"
DELICIOUS.

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DELICIOUS.

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THIS LAWSUIT WAS ESSENTIALLY THE
LAST MAJOR CASE SEEKING TO

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THROW OUT OR BLOCK ENOUGH VOTES
THAT COULD SWING A KEY STATE IN

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THE PRESIDENT'S FAVOR.

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BUT THE POTUS FOR NOT MUCH
MO-TUS HAD THIS DEFIANT

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STATEMENT:
>> IT'S JUST A FLESH WOUND.

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>> STEPHEN: THE PRESIDENT'S
LEGAL TEAM IMMEDIATELY APPEALED

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ON SUNDAY BUT LEGAL EXPERTS SAY
THE APPEAL'S CHANCES OF SUCCESS

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ARE INCONCEIVABLE.

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COINCIDENTALLY, THAT WAS ALSO
THE MOTTO OF HIS UNIVERSITY.

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AFTER THE RULING, SEVERAL
REPUBLICANS SAID IT WAS TIME FOR

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THE PRESIDENT TO GIVE UP
INCLUDING, PENNSYLVANIA SENATOR

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PAT TOOMEY, SEEN HERE ON "BRING
YOUR FOREHEAD TO WORK" DAY.

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TOOMEY RELEASED A STATEMENT OVER
THE WEEKEND DECLARING, "WITH

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TODAY'S DECISION BY JUDGE
MATTHEW BRANN, A LONGTIME

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CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN WHOM I
KNOW TO BE A FAIR AND UNBIASED

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JURIST, TO DISMISS THE
CAMPAIGN'S LAWSUIT, THE

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PRESIDENT HAS EXHAUSTED ALL
PLAUSIBLE LEGAL OPTIONS TO

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CHALLENGE THE RESULT OF THE
PRESIDENTIAL RACE IN

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PENNSYLVANIA."

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ADDING, "THESE DEVELOPMENTS,
TOGETHER WITH THE OUTCOMES IN

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THE REST OF THE NATION, CONFIRM
THAT JOE BIDEN WON THE 2020

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ELECTION AND WILL BECOME THE
46TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

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STATES."

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DID YOU HEAR THAT, REPUBLICANS?

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HE SAID IT AND DIDN'T
IMMEDIATELY BURST INTO FLAMES.

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YOU CAN SUMMON THAT COURAGE TOO.

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RESIST THE PEER PRESSURE, AND
TELL THE WORLD ONCE AND FOR ALL

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"I'M INTO DEMOCRACY AND I DON'T
CARE WHO KNOWS IT."

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NO ONE IS GOING TO JUDGE YOU FOR
IT.

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HECK, THIS FOURTH OF JULY, YOU
COULD EVEN MARCH IN THE

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DEMOCRACY PRIDE PARADE.

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TOOMEY WAS NOT ALONE.

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YESTERDAY, WE ALSO HEARD FROM
MICHIGAN REPRESENTATIVE AND MAN

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WHO DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE A WOMAN
LIKE YOU IN AN OFFICIAL PHOTO

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LIKE THIS, FRED UPTON.

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UPTON SAID IT'S TIME FOR HIS
PARTY TO FACE FACTS.

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>> NO ONE HAS COME UP WITH ANY
EVIDENCE OF FRAUD OR ABUSE.

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>> STEPHEN: I THINK RUDY HAS
SEARCHED THAT TRUCK FROM TOP TO

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BOTTOM BECAUSE I'M
PRETTY SURE THAT'S MOTOR OIL.

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ANOTHER REPUBLICAN WHO SAYS
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS MARYLAND

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00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:13,367
GOVERNOR AND WALLACE WHO ATE
GROMIT, LARRY HOGAN.

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HOGAN HAD HARSH WORDS ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT'S ATTEMPT TO STEAL

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MICHIGAN'S ELECTORAL VOTES BY
BLACKMAILING THEIR LEGISLATIVE

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00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,210
LEADERS:
>> I THOUGHT THE PRESSURING OF

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THE LEGISLATORS TO TRY TO
SOMEHOW CHANGE THE OUTCOME WITH

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ELECTORS WAS COMPLETELY
OUTRAGEOUS.

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WE'RE BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE
WE'RE A BANANA REPUBLIC.

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>> STEPHEN: PLEASE, WE DON'T
LOOK LIKE A BANANA REPUBLIC.

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IF ANYTHING, WE'RE A "J. COUP."

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SLIGHT STRETCH, BUT I LIKE IT.

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00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,106
BUT THE BIGGEST NAME TO TURN ON
THE PRESIDENT WAS CLEARLY,

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00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,902
FORMER NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR AND
DEPRESSED FRED FLINTSTONE, CHRIS

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00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,111
CHRISTIE.

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00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,738
CHRISTIE SAID IT WAS TIME FOR
THE PRESIDENT TO CONCEDE, AND HE

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PUT THE BLAME ON THE WHITE
HOUSE LEGAL TEAM:

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00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,452
>> THEY ALLEGE FRAUD OUTSIDE THE
COURTROOM, BUT WHEN THEY GO

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INSIDE THE COURTROOM, THEY DON'T
PLEAD FRAUD AND THEY DON'T ARGUE

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FRAUD.

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00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,626
THE PRESIDENT'S LEGAL TEAM HAS
BEEN A NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT.

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00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:08,130
>> STEPHEN: C'MON, CHRIS, THAT'S
NOT FAIR.

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HIS LAWYERS ARE RUDY "TUCKING IN
HIS SHIRT" "INTERNATIONAL"

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EMBARRASSMENT.

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WELL, WITH SO MANY PEOPLE
HUMILIATED BY THE ABSOLUTE

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INCOMPETENCE OF HIS LEGAL TEAM,
THE PRESIDENT DID WHAT HAD TO BE

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DONE AND FIRED SOMEONE NAMED
SIDNEY POWELL.

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IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS
CONGRATULATIONS, NOW YOU DON'T

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HAVE TO KNOW.

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BUT I'LL TELL YOU ANYWAY.

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SHE WAS MICHAEL FLYNN'S LAWYER
AND SHE'S BEEN FLOATING WILD

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CONSPIRACY THEORIES LIKE
THE PRESIDENT LOST GEORGIA

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00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:38,327
BECAUSE GOVERNOR BRIAN KEMP HAS
BEEN BRIBED BY A VENEZUELAN

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FRONT COMPANY IN CAHOOTS WITH
THE C.I.A. TO THROW ELECTIONS TO

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00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,791
COMMUNISTS, AND THAT AMONG
OTHERS, THE GUY RESPONSIBLE FOR

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RIGGING THE ELECTION WAS HUGO
CHAVEZ.

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00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:53,426
ONE SLIGHT PROBLEM, HUGO CHAVEZ
HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE 2013.

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THOUGH HE STILL LOOKS HEALTHIER
THAN MITCH MCCONNELL.

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POWELL'S CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE
SO OUT THERE THAT IT BECAME TOO

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00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:03,686
MUCH EVEN FOR RUDY GIULIANI TO
TOLERATE.

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00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,896
NOT ONLY DID HE FIRE POWELL, HE
TRIED TO WILL HER OUT OF

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00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,857
EXISTENCE.

207
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,692
IN A STATEMENT, HE AND POTUS
LAWYER JENNA ELLIS SAID THAT

208
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,863
"SIDNEY POWELL IS PRACTICING LAW
ON HER OWN."

209
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,573
ADDING, SHE "IS NOT A MEMBER OF
THE PRESIDENT'S LEGAL TEAM."

210
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,825
YES, SHE DOESN'T WORK WITH THEM
AT ALL.

211
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:21,495
IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE THAT
DURING GIULIANI'S TWO HOUR PRESS

212
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,165
CONFERENCE, SHE WAS ON STAGE THE
ENTIRE TIME.

213
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,334
SIMPLE MIX-UP.

214
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:31,672
THEY INVITED SIDNEY POWELL, BUT
THEY 'MEANT' TO INVITE SIDNEY

215
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,715
POWELL TOTAL LANDSCAPING.

216
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,217
DESPITE THE CURRENT
ADMINISTRATION BEING UNWILLING

217
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:39,680
TO ACCEPT THE INEVITABLE, JOE
BIDEN KEEPS ON DOING PRESIDENT

218
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,765
STUFF.

219
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:45,269
TODAY, HE NAMED HIS PICK TO HEAD
THE STATE DEPARTMENT:

220
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:48,773
FORMER DEPUTY SECRETARY OF STATE
AND AMBASSADOR TO SILVER

221
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:50,024
FOX-ISTAN, ANTONY BLINKEN.

222
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:54,403
ANOTHER BIDEN PICK WHO WE ALL
KNOW FROM NEVER HAVING HEARD OF.

223
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,406
NOT THE C.E.O. OF AN OIL
COMPANY, NOT A FORMER FOX NEWS

224
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:02,119
HOST, NOT EVEN A GUY KID ROCK
RECOMMENDED FROM GUITAR CENTER.

225
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,746
BUT THERE IS SOMETHING THAT
RINGS A BELL ABOUT HIS NAME:

226
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:07,708
ANTONY BLINKEN.

227
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,461
HIS NAME IS A. BLINKEN.

228
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:14,465
"ABE LINCOLN!"
A. BLINKEN WILL BE JOINED IN

229
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:18,761
BIDEN'S CABINET BY INTERIOR
SECRETARY "JOE ORGEWASHINGTON"

230
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:26,435
AND ATTORNEY GENERAL "JAY
EFFKAY."

231
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:30,106
BLINKEN'S RECORD IS SPOTLESS,
EXCEPT FOR ONE RHINESTONE GLUED

232
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:34,402
IN THE CORNER, BECAUSE ON HIS
TWITTER BIO, YOU'LL SEE HIS

233
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:37,613
TITLES FROM THE OBAMA
ADMINISTRATION, HIS CO-FOUNDING

234
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,447
OF WEST-EXEC ADVISORS AND...

235
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:42,451
HOLD YOUR HORSES.

236
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:46,455
FOLLOW ABLINKEN ON SPOTIFY?

237
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,416
OH, YOU KNOW I WILL.

238
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,751
'CUZ OUR NEW SECRETARY OF STATE
HAS HIS OWN ROCKIN' DAD BAND!

239
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:58,676
AND HERE'S A LITTLE TASTE, WITH
THE MAN HIMSELF ON VOCALS:

240
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,094
♪
♪

241
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:08,811
NOTE OH YEAH ♪
♪ I GOT TO GOT TO GOT TO ♪

242
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:12,440
♪ I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO FEEL THE
WAY I DO ♪

243
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:22,283
♪ THAT THIS LOVE IS FOR REAL ♪
>> Stephen: SORRY...

244
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:22,533
WHOA!

245
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:23,451
BABY!

246
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:24,660
THAT'S SOME FOGGY BOTTOM!

247
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:30,499
IF HIS DIPLOMACY ARE AS SMOOTH
AS HIS HOT LICKS WE'RE BACK ON

248
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:34,128
THE WORLD STAGE
BABY.

249
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,379
MY MAN IS GOING TO LOCK ISRAELI
AND PALESTINIAN LEADERS IN A

250
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,006
ROOM AND WHEN THINGS GET TENSE,
HE'S GONNA PULL OUT THAT GUITAR

251
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,549
AND SAY "YOU TWO GET TO THE
NEGOTIATING TABLE, OR I'M GONNA

252
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,843
START 'STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN.'"
THE CORONAVIRUS CONTINUES TO

253
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:44,305
SURGE TO RECORD LEVELS AND I'LL
-- THAT'S AN EMOTIONAL SHIFT

254
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:44,680
THERE.

255
00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:45,723
SORRY.

256
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,016
TRY IT AGAIN.

257
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:50,019
DON'T CUT THIS PART OUT, I WANT
PEOPLE TO SEE THE SAUSAGE BEING

258
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,103
MADE.

259
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,023
THE CORONAVIRUS CONTINUES TO
SURGE -- DID I MENTION I'M

260
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,191
TIRED?

261
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,860
THE COONAVIRUS CONTINUES TO
SUFFRAGE TO RECORD LEVELS AND

262
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,111
I'LL
TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN

263
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,989
TONIGHT'S INSTALLMENT OF "CATCH
A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER."

264
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,991
♪
♪

265
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:06,410
>> I'M COMING HOME FOR THE
HOLIDAYS!

266
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:06,869
BUCKLE UP!

267
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:07,870
GET IT?

268
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,830
LIKE MY HAT!

269
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:14,877
DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT YOU WITH MY
BLUNDER VIRUS!

270
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:19,006
>> Stephen: OKAY, GET OUT
BLUNDER VIRUS ISN'T EVEN CLOSE

271
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:26,013
TO A JOKE!

272
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:26,722
BLUNDER VIRUS?

273
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:29,850
DUE TO THE PANDEMIC, THE C.D.C.

274
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,227
IS BEGGING PEOPLE NOT TO TRAVEL
FOR THANKSGIVING.

275
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,144
HERE'S HOW FORMER C.D.C.

276
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,063
DIRECTOR DR. TOM FRIEDEN PUT
IT THIS WEEKEND:

277
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:38,067
>> WE'RE ALL SO SICK AND TIRED
OF THIS VIRUS BUT UNFORTUNATELY

278
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:38,901
IT IS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL.

279
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,696
WHEN PEOPLE TRAVEL, THE VIRUS
TRAVELS.

280
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:48,285
AND THIS THANKSGIVING COULD BE
THE SUPER BOWL OF

281
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,371
SUPER-SPREADING
EVENTS.

282
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:53,082
>> Stephen: DON'T PUT IT THAT
WAY, PLEASE.

283
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,208
PEOPLE LOVE THE SUPER BOWL!

284
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:55,709
YOU HAVE TO COMPARE IT TO A
PARTY CALL IT "THE AWKWARD

285
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:56,961
RETIREMENT PARTY FOR PATRICIA
FROM ACCOUNTING WHO DOESN'T WANT

286
00:13:57,044 --> 00:14:00,256
TO RETIRE BUT IS BEING FORCED TO
BY THE COMPANY AND SHE IS CRYING

287
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:07,471
WHILE PACKING UP THE KITTEN
FIGURINES ON HER DESK AND YOU

288
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,182
DON'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU
DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO SHE

289
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:14,186
FEELS CLOSE TO NOW..." OF
SUPER-SPREADING EVENTS.

290
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:18,148
FRIEDEN CONTINUED:
>> IT'S BETTER TO HAVE A ZOOM

291
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,276
THANKSGIVING THAN AN I.C.U.

292
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,110
CHRISTMAS.

293
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,111
>> STEPHEN: THAT IS A SOBERING
THOUGHT.

294
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,947
AND THE TITLE OF A VERY GRIM
HALLMARK MOVIE.

295
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,075
THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, EVERY
FAMILY NEEDS TO HAVE A COVID

296
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:28,701
PLAN.

297
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,119
ESPECIALLY THE FIRST FAMILY.

298
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:33,122
BECAUSE ON FRIDAY, WE LEARNED
THAT DON JR. TESTED POSITIVE FOR

299
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:33,831
THE CORONAVIRUS.

300
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:34,290
OH MY GOD.

301
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,959
THAT'S SO SWEET.

302
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:42,131
DON JR. FINALLY GOT SOMETHING
FROM HIS FATHER.

303
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:45,175
NOW, LET ME SAY, D.J.T.J. IS
ASYMPTOMATIC, WHICH IS GREAT

304
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:48,345
NEWS, AND I WISH HIM A FULL AND
LENGTHY RECOVERY.

305
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,140
BUT I ALSO WISH TO MAKE FUN OF
HIM.

306
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,100
BECAUSE AFTER HIS DIAGNOSIS WENT
PUBLIC, HE TOOK TO INSTAGRAM

307
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:58,105
FROM HIS QUARANTINE CABIN TO
GIVE THIS VERY DUMB UPDATE:

308
00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:01,191
>> HEY GUYS, DON JR. HERE.

309
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:05,779
YOU MAY HAVE SEEN IT BY NOW BUT
APPARENTLY I GOT THE 'RONA.

310
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:09,783
>> STEPHEN: YES, "THE RONA"--
COMING THIS FALL TO CBS, DON JR.

311
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,660
IS: "BRO DOCTOR."

312
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,787
(AS DON JR.):
"SO, UH, WE GOT YOUR TEST

313
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:18,834
RESULTS, AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
GOT THE TUBERCKS.

314
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,669
WHICH MEANS, FROM A MEDICAL
P.O.V., YOUR PROGNOSIS SUCKS

315
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,712
ASS, DUDE.

316
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:22,880
SUCH A TRADG.

317
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,799
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, YOUR OXYGEN
SATURATION IS AT 69.

318
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:32,514
UP TOP."

319
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,058
ACCORDING TO DON JR., HE DOESN'T
JUST FEEL GOOD, HE ALSO LOOKS

320
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:37,686
GOOD:
>> I THINK YOU CAN TELL I

321
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,521
PROBABLY LOOK OKAY FOR ME.

322
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,732
YOU CAN SEE I DON'T HAVE
THE RED EYES LIKE THEY CLAIMED I

323
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:45,736
HAD UH FOR APPARENTLY USING
COCAINE PRIOR TO MY R.N.C.

324
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,656
SPEECH.

325
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,532
>> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, NO
ONE CLAIMED YOU HAD RED EYES,

326
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,492
YOU HAD RED EYES.

327
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:54,703
AND NO ONE IS THINKING ABOUT
THAT RIGHT NOW.

328
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,248
METHINKS THE ALLEGED COKEHEAD
DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH.

329
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,333
(AS DON JR.)
"I DON'T HAVE THE RED EYES.

330
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,960
OR THE POWDERDIPPED NOSTRILS.

331
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,838
AND MY DEALER'S TOTALLY NOT
UPSTAIRS, CUTTING LINES ON A

332
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,548
TAXIDERMIED MOOSE HEAD.

333
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:12,054
TRENT, ARE YOU READY?"
"I GOT THE RONA!"

334
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,347
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

335
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:14,139
GLENN CLOSE IS HERE.

336
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:18,227
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
"MEANWHILE!"!

337
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,228
JOIN US.

338
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:19,853
♪
♪

339
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,481
♪

340
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:37,413
♪
♪

341
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,205
♪
>> Stephen: HEY!

342
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,082
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!

343
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,125
LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

344
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:41,750
HEY, JON!

345
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,752
>> Jon: WHAT'S HAPPENING?

346
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:44,586
YOU GOT TO GET IT IN.

347
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:49,258
>> Stephen: I LIKE THAT SHIRT
A LOT.

348
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:49,967
>> Jon: THIS IS A GOOD VIBE.

349
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:52,052
IT FEELS LIKE FALL.

350
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,178
IT'S GREAT.

351
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:57,599
>> Stephen: YOU WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT GOOD VIBE, I SPENT THE

352
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:01,270
MORNING TALKING TO PRESIDENT
BARACK OBAMA.

353
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,438
>> Jon: WOW.

354
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:06,900
>> Stephen: I WAS DOWN IN NICE
TO SEE YOU TALKING TO HIM.

355
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,111
THAT IS A GOOD VIBE.

356
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,280
HE SEEMS GOOD, HAPPY, RELAXED.

357
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,781
>> Jon: OH, WOW.

358
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:13,282
HE'S GOT A LOT ON HIS PLATE.

359
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,825
THE BOOK, YOU KNOW.

360
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:15,242
>> Stephen: THE BOOK'S DONE.

361
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,410
>> Jon: RIGHT.

362
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:22,833
>> Stephen: ObamaCare DIDN'T
GET TOSSED OUT BY THE SUPREME

363
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:23,751
COURT.

364
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,377
HIS GUY IS GOING TO BE THE NEXT
PRESIDENT.

365
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,255
HE'S GOT A SPRING IN HIS STEP, I
TELL YOU THAT.

366
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,131
>> Jon: WOW.

367
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,966
HOW WAS THE CONVERSATION?

368
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:35,137
>> Stephen: FAR-RANGING,
LIGHT, DEEP, IT HAD IT ALL.

369
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,807
I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE GOING TO
FIT IT INTO A SHOW.

370
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,934
MAYBE WE'LL DO TWO SHOWS.

371
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,603
MAYBE WE'LL DO AN EXTRA SHOW
WITH IT.

372
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,813
>> Jon: THAT'S WHAT I WOULD
SAY.

373
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,690
THAT'S ONE TO HAVE THE GREATEST
LIVING HUMANS.

374
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,191
YOU'VE GOT TO SHOWCASE IT ALL.

375
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,400
WE NEED TO HEAR IT.

376
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:57,326
>> Stephen: JO JON, WE PLAYED
WASTE BASKETBALL, YOU KNOW THE

377
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,494
BALL PAPER AND CHUTE.

378
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:01,163
>> Stephen: HE'S GOT THE
LEFT-HANDED J.

379
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,039
>> Jon: HE DOES.

380
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,208
YOU'VE GOT TO STICK AROUND FOR
THE GAME.

381
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,043
.>> Jon: WHO WON?

382
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,295
>> Stephen: I CAN'T GIVE THAT
AWAY!

383
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:09,129
LET'S SAY WE DID WAGER.

384
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,297
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.

385
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:16,178
I REMEMBER WHEN YOU PLAYED THAT
WITH STEF AND YOU GOT A J.

386
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,223
I KNOW YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOU
WITH THE SOCKS AND THE BUCKET.

387
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:23,018
>> Stephen: WHEN THE CAMERA
TURNS ON AND THE ADRENALINE

388
00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:24,228
FLOWS, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE,
JON YOU KNOW THAT.

389
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:27,064
>> Jon: YEAH, I'LL PUT YOU ON
THE FREE-THROW LINE FOR THE

390
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:27,940
TECH.

391
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,192
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: YOU GOT ANYTHING

392
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,402
COMING UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS?

393
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,029
ANYTHING FOR THANKSGIVING?

394
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:39,034
ANYTHING THAT PUTS YOU IN THE
AUTUMNAL MOOD THAT MATCHES YOUR

395
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:39,284
SHIRT?

396
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:40,035
♪
♪

397
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:43,539
>> Jon: OH, YEAH, YOU KNOW,
THE --

398
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:53,882
♪
♪

399
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,134
>> Stephen: NOW I WANT TO GO
FOR A WALK IN CENTRAL PARK.

400
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,719
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

401
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:58,428
THANK YOU, JON.

402
00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,680
>> Jon: THANK YOU.

403
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:03,225
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I
SPENT A LOT OF TIME TRAINING ON

404
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:07,771
THE MIGHTY STEED OF NEWS,
DONNING

405
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:10,816
THE DAY'S MOST TOPICAL ARMOR,
AND SHARPENING THE LANCE OF

406
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:12,067
SATIRE FOR THE MEDIEVAL ROYAL
JOUSTING TOURNAMENT THAT IS MY

407
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:13,944
MONOLOGUE.

408
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,280
BUT ONCE IN A WHILE, I DOWN A 40
OF BOURBON, RUN NAKED IN THE

409
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:23,036
PALE MOONLIGHT TO THE FARM TWO
TOWNS OVER, AND STEAL A BABY

410
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,581
PONY TO STAGE THE FULL-FRONTAL
ONE-MAN AMATEUR PRODUCTION OF

411
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:31,628
EQUUS OF NEWS THAT IS MY
SEGMENT:

412
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:36,300
♪
♪

413
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,927
>> QUARANTINE WHILE!

414
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,180
>> Stephen: I DON'T ALWAYS
READ THESE AHEAD OF TIME.

415
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,225
IN THIS SCENARIO AM I HAVING SEX
WITH A PONY?

416
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,644
IT'S A BABY PONY.

417
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:48,645
VERY UPSETTING.

418
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:53,609
I DO NOT APPROVE THAT INTRO, BUT
I DID ENJOY IT.

419
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,611
QUARANTINE-WHIILE, LET'S GET
STRAIGHT TO THE QUESTION

420
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:59,406
EVERYONE IS ASKING TODAY: HAS
SEX PISTOLS STAR JOHN LYDON BEEN

421
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:03,660
BITTEN BY A FLEA ON HIS PENIS
AFTER BEFRIENDING SQUIRRELS?

422
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:11,710
GOOD NEWS:
SEX PISTOL STAR JOHN LIEDEN WAS

423
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:17,424
BITTEN ON HIS PENIS AFTER
BEFRIENDING THE SQUIRRELS.

424
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,468
IT SEEMS THE FLEA NEVER MINDED
THE BOLLOCKS, AND WENT STRAIGHT

425
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:19,927
FOR THE SEX PISTOL.

426
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,136
GOD SAVE THE PEEN.

427
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:21,970
LYDON IS RECOVERING WELL, AND
AUTHORITIES HAVE RELEASED THIS

428
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:25,599
PHOTO OF THE SUSPECTED
PENIS-BITING FLEA.

429
00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,643
QUARANTINE-WHILE, JUST IN TIME
FOR THANKSGIVING, "PERDUE HAS

430
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:33,482
RELEASED A LIMITED-TIME-ONLY
ITEM CALLED "THANKSNUGGETS."

431
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,317
IT'S PERFECT FOR ANYONE SPENDING
THIS THANKSGIVING ALONE,

432
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:40,322
WONDERING, "HOW CAN I MAKE THIS
SADDER?"

433
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,949
ALSO, PRO TIP, DON'T GIVE YOUR
PRODUCT A NAME THAT

434
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:45,869
AUTOMATICALLY SOUNDS LIKE
SARCASM.

435
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:49,665
THANKS, NUGGETS.

436
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:53,669
THERE ARE TWO FLAVORS OF
THANKS, NUGGETS: ONE INCLUDES

437
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:58,006
DARK TURKEY MEAT BLENDED WITH
A CRANBERRY SAUCE AND STUFFING

438
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,385
FLAVOR, AND ONE FEATURES WHITE
TURKEY MEAT "INSPIRED" BY

439
00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:07,849
THE FLAVOR OF SWEET POTATO.

440
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,226
"INSPIRED" BY ACTUAL FOOD? OKAY,
PICASSO.

441
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,812
(AS ARTIST)
"AND OVER HERE YOU'LL SEE MY

442
00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:14,189
NUGGETS THAT ARE LOOSELY
INSPIRED BY THE CONCEPT OF

443
00:21:14,272 --> 00:21:15,857
CHICKEN.

444
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:21,863
THEY INCLUDE AN HOMAGE TO
NUTRITION AND OF COURSE A NOD TO

445
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:26,076
PROTEIN, BUT THE MEDIUM IS
PRIMARILY SALT MIXED WITH

446
00:21:26,159 --> 00:21:28,370
OIL AND BREAD CRUMBS."

447
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,581
QUARANTINE-WHILE, "FLORIDA
OFFICIALS HAVE PROPOSED CULLING

448
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:35,585
THEIR INVASIVE PYTHON POPULATION
BY EATING THEM."

449
00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:37,587
THE ONLY THING THAT SURPRISES ME
ABOUT THIS STORY IS THAT

450
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:41,049
FLORIDIANS WEREN'T "ALREADY"
EATING PYTHONS.

451
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,844
UNTIL NOW, FLORIDA'S FISH AND
WILDLIFE COMMISSION HAS

452
00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:48,056
DISAPPROVED OF EATING THE
INVASIVE PYTHONS BECAUSE

453
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,768
"A DECADE-OLD STUDY FOUND
EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK PYTHONS

454
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:55,856
CARRIED ALARMING AMOUNTS OF
MERCURY, A NEUROTOXIN THAT CAN

455
00:21:55,939 --> 00:22:02,904
IMPAIR BRAIN FUNCTIONING."

456
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,072
AGAIN...

457
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:04,364
ARE WE "SURE" FLORIDIANS HAVEN'T
ALREADY BEEN EATING THESE

458
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,574
SNAKES.

459
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:07,909
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A STATE THAT
KEEPS ELECTING A MAN WHO IS

460
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,704
CLEARLY PART PYTHON.

461
00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:13,790
HE WILL UNHINGE HIS JAW!

462
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:16,918
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN MOVIE NEWS,
IT HAS JUST BEEN REVEALED THAT

463
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:21,214
"MAHERSHALA ALI REFUSED TO DO A
SEX SCENE IN 'BENJAMIN BUTTON'."

464
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:22,924
BUT THE WEIRD PART IS HE: HE
FILMED THE MOVIE, "THEN" REFUSED

465
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:23,425
TO DO THE SEX SCENE, AND
"THEN" AUDITIONED, AND THEN WAS

466
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:28,555
A BABY.

467
00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:34,936
NEVER SEEN IT.

468
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,063
QUARANTINE-WHILE, BEAR ATTACKS
HAVE REACHED A FIVE YEAR HIGH IN

469
00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:42,152
JAPAN, BUT ONE AREA HAS A
NOVEL SOLUTION: THE JAPANESE

470
00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:46,156
ISLAND OF HOKKAIDO HAS CALLED IN
A 'MONSTER WOLF' TO SCARE OFF

471
00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:58,293
WILD BEAR," HERE IT IS IN
ACTION:

472
00:22:58,376 --> 00:22:59,419
NOW THAT'S A HAPPY STORY.

473
00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:00,629
THIS MONSTER WOLF HAS BEEN
LOOKING FOR WORK EVER SINCE HE

474
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:01,546
GOT KICKED OUT OF THE CHUCK E.

475
00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:08,428
CHEESE BAND FOR MURDERING HIS
METH DEALER.

476
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:12,641
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN WHAT COULD
GO WRONG NEWS, "SCIENTISTS MADE

477
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:14,643
MONKEY BRAINS DOUBLE IN SIZE
BYSPLICING THEM WITH HUMAN

478
00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:15,435
GENES."

479
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:19,439
COME ON!

480
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:22,818
WE'VE MADE MOVIE AFTER MOVIE
ABOUT HOW THIS ENDS BADLY.

481
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,444
"JURASSIC PARK," "THE FLY,"
ALL THE "PLANET OF THE APES"

482
00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:30,450
MOVIES, HAVE YOU NOT SEEN "EX
MONKEY-NA?!"

483
00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:33,537
IT'S GOOD. A
MAZING WHAT THEY DID ON THAT

484
00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:37,499
BUDGET.

485
00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:45,507
AFTER EXPERIMENTING WITH THE
-- I'M GETTING WEIRD MIXTURE OF

486
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:49,719
FEELINGS LOOKING AT THAT MONKEY.

487
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:53,223
AFTER ALL, WE HEARD WHAT I DID
WITH THE PONY AT THE BEGINNING

488
00:23:53,306 --> 00:23:54,099
OF THIS.

489
00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:57,394
I DON'T KNOW HOW THE ACT IS
PAINTING ME.

490
00:23:57,477 --> 00:23:58,812
AFTER EXPERIMENTING WITH THE
MONKEYS' GENES "THEY FOUND THAT

491
00:23:58,895 --> 00:24:00,814
THE PRIMATES' BRAINS SOON BECAME
MORE HUMAN-LIKE."

492
00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,732
SO MONKEYS CAN NOW FEEL WHAT
IT'S LIKE TO BE HUMAN.

493
00:24:02,816 --> 00:24:04,568
IN FACT, ONE MONKEY BECAME SO
HUMAN LIKE THAT SHE BOUGHT A

494
00:24:04,651 --> 00:24:08,488
PELOTON TO HELP HER GET THROUGH
HER DIVORCE.

495
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,574
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH GLENN
CLOSE.

496
00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:11,158
♪
♪

497
00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:11,575
♪

498
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:24,880
♪
♪

499
00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,132
>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.

500
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:29,759
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN EMMY AND
TONY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS YOU

501
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:31,678
KNOW FROM "FATAL ATTRACTION,"
"DAMAGES," AND "THE WIFE."

502
00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:37,350
HER LATEST FILM IS "HILLBILLY
ELEGY."

503
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:38,602
>> I AIN'T GONNA LIVE FOREVER.

504
00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:47,402
WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS
FAMILY WHEN I'M GONE?

505
00:24:47,485 --> 00:24:55,410
I THOUGHT YOUR MOMMA WAS GOING
TO BE ALL RIGHT, BE HAPPY, DO

506
00:24:55,493 --> 00:24:57,746
GOOD, BUT SHE GOT TORE UP AROUND
HERE.

507
00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:59,414
SHE JUST UP AND QUIT.

508
00:24:59,497 --> 00:25:04,586
SHE JUST STOPPED TRYIN'.

509
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:09,925
I KNOW.

510
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:16,223
I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER.

511
00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:23,939
BUT YOU -- YOU'VE GOT TO DECIDE,
YOU WANT TO BE SOMEBODY OR NOT.

512
00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:28,109
>> STEPHEN: PLEASE WELCOME BACK
TO "A LATE SHOW," GLENN CLOSE!

513
00:25:28,193 --> 00:25:30,946
HI, GLENN, THANKS FOR BEING
HERE.

514
00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:31,696
>> HI.

515
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:32,405
THANK YOU SO MUCH, IT'S
WONDERFUL.

516
00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:33,823
I WISH WE WERE IN THE SAME ROOM.

517
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:35,533
>> Stephen: SOON ENOUGH.

518
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:35,909
KNOCK WOOD.

519
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,619
KNOCK WOOD.

520
00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:38,703
>> YEAH.

521
00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:41,164
>> Stephen: YOU, I HAVE TO
ASK, I WANT TO ASK THIS OF

522
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:45,293
ALMOST ALL MY GUESTS, ONE OF THE
ONLY NICE THINGS ABOUT THIS

523
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:49,673
ENTIRE THING IS THAT SOME PEOPLE
ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO

524
00:25:49,756 --> 00:25:51,174
WORK WHERE THEY WANT TO RIGHT
NOW.

525
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:53,885
WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE WE
FINDING YOU?

526
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:55,762
>> YOU'RE FINDING ME IN MONTANA.

527
00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:56,346
>> Stephen: LOVELY.

528
00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:58,473
I HAVE BEEN HERE -- IT IS.

529
00:25:58,556 --> 00:26:00,350
I HAVE BEEN VERY LUCKY.

530
00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:03,144
I HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE FEBRUARY.

531
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:06,815
I HAVE NOT GONE ANYWHERE EXCEPT
A LITTLE BIT OUT OF TOWN WHERE I

532
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:09,651
CAN HIKE UP IN THE NATIONAL
FOREST AND IT'S KEPT ME SANE.

533
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:14,197
>> Stephen: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING TO OCCUPY YOURSELF?

534
00:26:14,281 --> 00:26:17,993
THERE'S VERY LITTLE PRODUCTION,
VERY LITTLE LIVE THEATER.

535
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:19,536
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO KEEP
YOURSELF GOING?

536
00:26:19,619 --> 00:26:25,542
>> WELL, PERIODICALLY, I TRY TO
MAKE MYSELF LAUGH, SO I HAVE

537
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,294
THESE CHARACTERS THAT I HAVE
INVENTED.

538
00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:33,591
I'VE DONE A FEW OF THEM REALLY
ACTUALLY ONE HAS BEEN KIND OF ON

539
00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:37,053
INSTAGRAM, BUT OTHERWISE THEY'RE
PRETTY UNKNOWN.

540
00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:40,181
>> Stephen: THEY'RE JUST FOR
YOU?

541
00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:43,518
>> THEY'RE JUST -- THEY'RE JUST
FOR ME AND CERTAIN FRIENDS.

542
00:26:43,601 --> 00:26:46,187
>> Stephen: JUST TO WORK OUT
MATERIAL OR KICK OUT THE JAMS.

543
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:49,983
I THINK WE HAVE A CLIP OF -- IS
THIS DAG?

544
00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:53,236
WHO IS DAG.

545
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,698
>> OH, DAR, DAR FROM BOCA.

546
00:26:56,781 --> 00:26:57,824
>> Stephen: OKAY.

547
00:26:57,907 --> 00:27:02,579
AND SHE'S ONE OF THE REAL --
HER EXPERTISE IS IN DARNELL

548
00:27:02,662 --> 00:27:03,121
WIGS.

549
00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:04,372
SHE HAS A LOT OF WIGS.

550
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:08,668
AND SHE ALSO LOVES TO SING HAPPY
BIRTHDAY TO A LOT OF -- TO HER

551
00:27:08,752 --> 00:27:09,377
FRIENDS.

552
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:12,213
>> Stephen: WHAT'S A DARNELL
WIG?

553
00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:15,425
>> DARNELL WIG IS A WIG THAT
ISN'T REAL HAIR.

554
00:27:15,508 --> 00:27:17,344
>> Stephen: OKAY.

555
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:17,886
YEAH.

556
00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:24,392
>> Stephen: JIM, HIT IT.

557
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:30,023
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

558
00:27:30,106 --> 00:27:36,863
OH, MY GOD -- OH, MY GOD I HATE
THAT!

559
00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:39,908
I HATE THAT THING.

560
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:44,704
>> Stephen: DO YOU MAKE THESE
FOR FRIENDS AND SEND THEM TO

561
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:45,497
THEM?

562
00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:46,748
>> THAT IS FOR MY MANAGER
CHRISTIAN.

563
00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:51,753
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT CANDLE IS
ONE OF THE HORRIBLE FAKE CANDLES

564
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:54,297
THAT KEEP COMING UP, SO IT'S
REAL SURPRISE.

565
00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:56,966
>> Stephen: IT'S ALSO QUITE
DANGEROUS WHEN YOU'RE WEARING A

566
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:58,051
WIG THAT'S NOT REAL HAIR.

567
00:27:58,134 --> 00:27:59,260
>> THAT'S TRUE.

568
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:03,139
>> Stephen: I'M SURE YOU WERE
AWARE YOU WERE WEARING PETROLEUM

569
00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:04,265
PRODUCTS ON YOUR HEAD.

570
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:08,645
THE LOOK HAS A LITTLE BIT OF A
CRUELLA DeVil TO HER.

571
00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,438
>> THAT'S TRUE AND SHE LIKES
ANIMAL PRINTS AND ALSO LIKES

572
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:11,272
CAMO.

573
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:12,315
>> Stephen: WE HAVE ONE OTHER
CLIP.

574
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,984
YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A LITTLE
CRUELLA DeVil RIGHT HERE.

575
00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:18,571
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH CRUELLA IN
THIS FOOTAGE?

576
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:23,660
>> I WAS INVITED BY BETTE MIDLER
WHO HAS THIS FANTASTIC NONPROFIT

577
00:28:23,743 --> 00:28:29,124
IN NEW YORK, THE NEW YORK
RESTORATION PROJECT TO BE PART

578
00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:32,794
OF HER HULA WEAN AND SHE HAD
WRITTEN ME THIS FUNNY, FUNNY

579
00:28:32,877 --> 00:28:33,962
SKIT.

580
00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:35,713
I PUT TOGETHER WHAT I COULD HAVE
OF CRUELLA IN MY HOUSE.

581
00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:42,595
I GOT ONLINE, GOT A CRUELLA WIG,
BUT I PAINTED A CHOP STICK TO BE

582
00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:47,767
MY CIGARETTE HOLDER, AND PUT
BABY POWDER ON MY FACE -- NOT TO

583
00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:48,977
GREAT EFFECT.

584
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:54,315
>> Stephen: YOU ACTUALLY WENT
ONLINE AND BOUGHT A HALLOWEEN

585
00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:55,483
COSTUME, SHOPPED CRUELLA
DeVil WIG?

586
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,819
>> YES, AND THE LONG GLOVES WITH
THE BLACK NAILS.

587
00:28:57,902 --> 00:29:01,322
BUT THEN I REALIZE YOU COULDN'T
SEE IT SO I CUT OFF THE TIPS OF

588
00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:06,703
A PAIR OF RED GLOVES AND PUT THE
BLACK NAILS THROUGH IT.

589
00:29:06,786 --> 00:29:12,292
AND THEN I GOT -- OH, YEAH, I
HAD EYELASHES, BUT I REALIZED

590
00:29:12,375 --> 00:29:16,337
AFTER I GOT HOME THAT EDIDN'T
HAVE GLUE, SO I JUST GOT ELMER'S

591
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,047
GLUE AND PUT ON MY LASHES.

592
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,799
MAYBE NOT THE SMARTEST THING IN
THE WORLD.

593
00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:22,010
BUT IT'd COME OFF OKAY.

594
00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:29,851
AND AROUND MY NECK WAS A PAIR OF
LONG UNDERWEAR THAT WAS A

595
00:29:29,934 --> 00:29:32,896
LEOPARD PRINT, SILKY LONG
UNDERWEAR.

596
00:29:32,979 --> 00:29:38,526
THE COAT IS A COAT I WORE IN
"THE WIFE."

597
00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:42,530
>> Stephen: WE HAVE THE FINAL
PRODUCT HEIGHT HERE, JIM.

598
00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:50,580
>> THE DEVILLE FAMILY TREE, YOU
WILL FIND -- MALICENT DEVILLE,

599
00:29:50,663 --> 00:29:58,546
MY GREAT INDOOR MOMENTS GREAT
-- MY GREAT, GREAT, GREAT,GREAT

600
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:06,513
LIVED IN SALEM, MASSACHUSETTS
FROM 1643 TO 1692.

601
00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:13,353
SHE WAS THE FIRST WOMAN TO BE
WATER BOARDED FOR BEING A WITCH.

602
00:30:13,436 --> 00:30:14,896
A CONSTANT SOURCE OF
INSPIRATION!

603
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:21,819
( MANIACAL LAUGH )
>> Stephen: HOW MUCH -- HOW

604
00:30:21,903 --> 00:30:26,407
MUCH DOES THE WARDROBE -- DOES
THE COSTUME INFORM YOUR

605
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:27,534
CHARACTER?

606
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:31,204
IS IT THE FINAL CLOAK ON THE
CHARACTER OR -- I KNOW SOME

607
00:30:31,287 --> 00:30:34,582
PERFORMERS WHO ACTUALLY USE THE
COSTUME LIKE -- WELL, LIKE THE

608
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:35,959
MASK ACTUALLY TRANSFORMS THEM.

609
00:30:36,042 --> 00:30:42,590
I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE I
UNDERSTAND IT, BUT I HEARD ABOUT

610
00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:43,675
MASK AND TRANCE.

611
00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:45,927
YOU WEAR THE MASK OR THE
WARDROBE AND THAT INFORMS HOW

612
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:49,013
YOU FEEL AND YOU FOLLOW THE
FEELING.

613
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:52,684
HOW DO YOU WORK?

614
00:30:52,767 --> 00:30:54,894
>> WELL, I'VE PLAYED SEVERAL
CHARACTERS OVER THE YEARS THAT

615
00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:59,440
BY THE TIME YOU DO ALL THE
MAKEUP, THE HAIR, THE COSTUME

616
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:07,448
AND YOU LOOK AND SAY, AH, THERE
SHE IS.

617
00:31:07,532 --> 00:31:11,286
MAWMAW IN "HILLBILLY ELEGY" WAS
LEAK THAT AND CRUELLA WAS LIKE

618
00:31:11,369 --> 00:31:12,495
THAT.

619
00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:15,123
I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED A COSTUME
DESIGNER TO BE AS IMPORTANT

620
00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:19,127
COLLABORATOR AS THE DIRECTOR,
AND I THINK IT'S AN ART, WHICH

621
00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:23,131
REALLY GETS SHORT SHRIFT, SO
I'VE KEPT ALL MY COSTUMES.

622
00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:26,801
THEY'RE OUT AT THE INDIANA
UNIVERSITY.

623
00:31:26,884 --> 00:31:32,140
BUT SET ESPECIALLY FOR A
CHARACTER LIKE MAWMAW WHICH IS

624
00:31:32,223 --> 00:31:36,477
NOTHING LIKE ME, I BEGAN BY NOT
WANTING TO BE DISTRACTED BY MY

625
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:37,645
OWN FACE.

626
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,356
THEN YOU DO VERY, VERY SUBTLE
THINGS BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT

627
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,819
PEOPLE TO SAY, OH, THERE'S GLENN
CLOSE WITH A BAD NOSE.

628
00:31:44,902 --> 00:31:48,323
YOU TRY TO -- IT'S A VERY
REFINED, CONCENTRATED PROCESS

629
00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:52,452
THAT WE GO THROUGH TO JUST MAKE
THE SUBTLE CHANGES THAT ALL OF A

630
00:31:52,535 --> 00:31:55,538
SUDDEN YOU LOOK UP AND SAY, AH,
THERE SHE IS.

631
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:58,333
>> Stephen: GLENN, WE HAVE TO
TAKE A QUICK BREAK BUT STICK

632
00:31:58,416 --> 00:31:59,000
AROUND, EVERYBODY.

633
00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:02,712
BACK WITH MORE OF GLENN CLOSE.

634
00:32:02,795 --> 00:32:04,088
♪
♪

635
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:05,923
♪

636
00:32:12,889 --> 00:32:15,350
♪
♪

637
00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:16,517
♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

638
00:32:16,601 --> 00:32:19,228
WE'RE BACK WITH THE STAR OF
"HILLBILLY ELEGY," GLENN CLOSE.

639
00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:28,029
TELL ME ABOUT MAWMAW.

640
00:32:28,112 --> 00:32:30,823
THE MOVIE IS "HILLBILLY ELEGY."

641
00:32:30,907 --> 00:32:36,996
WHAT ROLE DOES SHE PLAY.

642
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:43,419
MAWMAW IS THE GRANDMOTHER OF
J.D. VANCE AND SHE STEPS IN WHEN

643
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:45,046
HE WAS IN DANGER OF GOING OFF
THE TRACKS.

644
00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:48,257
HE WAS A TEENAGER.

645
00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:49,842
SHE SAID COME WITH ME.

646
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:53,054
SHE BASICALLY DISCIPLINED HIM,
MADE HIM STUDY AND GET GOOD

647
00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:53,429
GRADES.

648
00:32:53,513 --> 00:32:54,681
INSPIRED HIM.

649
00:32:54,764 --> 00:32:58,226
THEN HE WENT INTO THE MILITARY
AND THEN TO YALE, AND IT CHANGED

650
00:32:58,309 --> 00:33:02,271
THE CYCLE OF ABUSE AND POVERTY
THAT HAD BEEN IN THAT FAMILY.

651
00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:06,943
I THINK SHE'S AN ARC TYPAL
CHARACTER.

652
00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:10,988
THERE ARE MAWMAW'S ALL OVER THE
WORLD WHO STEP IN AND SAY THIS

653
00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:13,366
WILL NOT HAPPEN IN MY FAMILY.

654
00:33:13,449 --> 00:33:16,452
>> Stephen: I WANT TO ASK YOU
A QUESTION ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.

655
00:33:16,536 --> 00:33:19,372
YOUR FATHER PLAYED A KEY ROLE IN
STOPPING THE SPREAD OF EBOLA.

656
00:33:19,455 --> 00:33:22,959
THERE WAS ANT OUTBREAK IN ZAIRE
IN THE 1970s.

657
00:33:23,042 --> 00:33:25,086
WHAT DID YOUR FATHER DO?

658
00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,587
WHAT WAS HIS OCCUPATION?

659
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,214
>> MY DAD WAS A DOCTOR.

660
00:33:28,297 --> 00:33:34,554
HE WAS A TRAINED SURGEON,
COLUMBIA, AND HE WAS -- HE WENT

661
00:33:34,637 --> 00:33:38,099
TO AFRICA WITH A QUASI KIND OF
MISSIONARY TYPE OF GROUP BUT

662
00:33:38,182 --> 00:33:43,104
THEN BROKE AWAY WHEN THE MUTE
ANY HAPPENED, WALKED INTO THE

663
00:33:43,187 --> 00:33:48,401
BIG HOSPITAL IN, AT THE LEO
LEOPOLDVILLE AND SAID I'M A

664
00:33:48,484 --> 00:33:49,402
SURGEON, PUT ME TO WORK.

665
00:33:49,485 --> 00:33:53,072
HE WORKED THROUGH THE MUTE ANY,
STAYED 16 YEARS.

666
00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:54,574
HE DID REMARKABLE WORK THERE.

667
00:33:54,657 --> 00:33:59,620
THE LAST BIG EVENT OF HIS LIFE
WAS TO HELP THE C.D.C., WHO CAME

668
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:03,458
TO RESEARCH -- TO FIND OUT WHAT
WAS KILLING PEOPLE, HELPED THEM

669
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:09,630
GET TO YAMBUKU WHERE IS FIRST
OUTBREAK WAS AND BASICALLY

670
00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:11,799
ORGANIZED ALL THEIR
TRANSPORTATION, HOW THEY GOT

671
00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:16,596
EVERYTHING THERE AND, YEAH, HE
WAS QUITE IMPORTANT.

672
00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:19,932
THAT WAS THE FIRST OUTBREAK, THE
FIRST TIME ANYBODY HAD EVER SEEN

673
00:34:20,016 --> 00:34:21,142
OR HEARD OF EBOLA.

674
00:34:21,225 --> 00:34:24,604
>> Stephen: DID YOU EVER MEET
ANYBODY AT THE C.D.C. WHO HAD

675
00:34:24,687 --> 00:34:25,855
WORKED WITH YOUR DAD?

676
00:34:25,938 --> 00:34:30,651
>> I MET A LOT OF THEM, AND THEY
WERE SOME OF THE MOST IMPRESSIVE

677
00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:35,364
PEOPLE I WILL HAVE EVER MET, AND
IT JUST BOILS MY BLOOD THAT THE

678
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:41,704
C.D.C. HAS SOMEHOW GOTTEN THIS
REPUTATION.

679
00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:44,749
THEY WOULD GO AROUND THE WORLD
TO PLACES WHERE PEOPLE WERE

680
00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:49,670
DYING AND NOBODY KNEW WHY, AND
THEY'D FIND OUT WHY, SOMETIMES

681
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:51,172
AT GREAT RISK.

682
00:34:51,255 --> 00:35:03,476
I HAVE TO SAY, THE GUYS -- THOSE
GUYS AT THE C.D.C., I'VE MET AND

683
00:35:03,559 --> 00:35:04,727
LOVE A LOT OF THEM.

684
00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:09,857
JOEL BRENNAN ON THAT TEAM GOING
TO AFRICA, IN THE FIRST OUTBREAK

685
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:11,818
OF EBOLA.

686
00:35:11,901 --> 00:35:13,027
HE CALLED ME THIS SPRING.

687
00:35:13,110 --> 00:35:16,030
HE LOVES OUR FAMILY, AND HE WAS
JUST CHECKING IN, BUT HE SAID,

688
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:21,202
YOU KNOW, IT WAS 40 YEARS AGO IN
MAY ON THE STAGE WITH THE W.H.O.

689
00:35:21,285 --> 00:35:27,208
IN GENEVA THAT WE ANNOUNCED THAT
SMALLPOX HAD INDEED BEEN

690
00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:28,084
ERADICATED FROM THE WORLD.

691
00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:30,878
THESE ARE THE KINDS OF PEOPLE
THEY ARE.

692
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,880
>> Stephen: WELL, GLENN, THANK
YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

693
00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:34,090
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

694
00:35:34,173 --> 00:35:35,716
>> NICE TO SEE YOU.

695
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,220
>> Stephen: STAY SAFE OUT IN
THE BIG SKY.

696
00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:42,348
"HILLBILLY ELEGY" IS
IN SELECT THEATERS NOW AND

697
00:35:42,431 --> 00:35:45,226
PREMIERES ON NETFLIX TOMORROW.

698
00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:46,060
GLENN CLOSE, EVERYBODY!

699
00:35:46,143 --> 00:35:48,980
BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY KANE
BROWN.

700
00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:16,424
>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.

701
00:36:16,507 --> 00:36:20,303
PERFORMING "BE LIKE THAT" FROM
HIS EP, "MIXTAPE VOLUME ONE,"

702
00:36:20,386 --> 00:36:27,768
KANE BROWN FEATURING SWAY LEE
AND KHALID!

703
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:32,064
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪

704
00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:39,405
♪ ♪ ♪
>> ♪ I MIGHT BE BETTER ON MY OWN

705
00:36:39,488 --> 00:36:46,412
I HATE YOU BLOWING UP MY PHONE
♪ I WISH I NEVER MET YOU

706
00:36:46,495 --> 00:36:49,790
SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT
♪ BUT I'M NOT MYSELF THE NIGHTS

707
00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:51,417
YOU'RE GONE
♪ THERE AIN'T NO WAY I'M MOVING

708
00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:55,171
ON
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID TO NEED YOU BAD

709
00:36:55,254 --> 00:36:59,300
SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT
♪ WE BOTH WANNA LOVE

710
00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:01,802
WE BOTH WANNA SLIDE
♪ WE BOTH WANNA ARGUE UNTIL

711
00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:03,638
WE'RE BOTH RIGHT
♪ AND YOU WANT A HUG

712
00:37:03,721 --> 00:37:07,433
I KISS YOU GOODNIGHT
♪ MAYBE WE'RE BOTH JUST OUT OF

713
00:37:07,516 --> 00:37:11,479
OUR MIND
♪ YOU THROW TANTRUMS WHILE I'M

714
00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:14,315
TWISTING UP
♪ NO MEDICINE IS FIXING US

715
00:37:14,398 --> 00:37:19,445
CAN'T TELL YOU WHY
♪ BUT TELL YOU WHAT

716
00:37:19,528 --> 00:37:23,491
YOU GOT ME THINKING
♪ I MIGHT BE BETTER ON MY OWN

717
00:37:23,574 --> 00:37:30,539
I HATE YOU BLOWING UP MY PHONE
♪ I WISH I NEVER MET YOU

718
00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:31,499
SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT
♪ BUT I'M NOT MYSELF THE NIGHTS

719
00:37:31,582 --> 00:37:35,461
YOU'RE GONE
♪ THERE AIN'T NO WAY I'M MOVING

720
00:37:35,544 --> 00:37:41,467
ON
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID TO NEED YOU BAD

721
00:37:41,550 --> 00:37:43,344
SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT
♪ I CROSS THE SEAS WITH YOU

722
00:37:43,427 --> 00:37:44,512
AYY
♪ WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE

723
00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:47,348
WITH YOU
♪ YEAH

724
00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:49,850
YEAH, AND IT GETS CRAZY
♪ IN THE NIGHT

725
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:54,689
I CANNOT SLEEP WITH YOU
♪ AND I COULD KEEP YOU NICE AND

726
00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:56,023
WARM
♪ WON'T DO NO THINKING, I'M IN

727
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,360
LOVE
♪ IF I WAS TO GIVE YOU THE WORLD

728
00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:01,529
YEAH
♪ THAT'S ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN

729
00:38:01,612 --> 00:38:06,242
THINK OF
♪ YEAH

730
00:38:06,325 --> 00:38:07,952
GOT TOO MUCH GOING TO BE UPSET
♪ I SWEAR I'D RATHER BE YOUR

731
00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:12,873
FRIEND
♪ I SAID I'M GONNA BE RIGHT BACK

732
00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:15,501
IT HURTS SOMETIMES
♪ IT BE LIKE THAT

733
00:38:15,584 --> 00:38:19,380
I MIGHT BE BETTER ON MY OWN
♪ I HATE YOU BLOWING UP MY PHONE

734
00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:26,012
I WISH I NEVER MET YOU
♪ SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT

735
00:38:26,095 --> 00:38:30,933
BUT I'M NOT MYSELF
♪ THE NIGHTS YOU'RE GONE

736
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:35,563
THERE AIN'T NO WAY I'M MOVING ON
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID TO NEED YOU BAD

737
00:38:35,646 --> 00:38:39,900
SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT
♪ SOMETIMES WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU

738
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:43,446
FOUND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE
♪ NOW YOU'RE THINKING I'M JUST

739
00:38:43,529 --> 00:38:47,533
ONE OF THOSE GUYS LEADING ON
♪ I CAN'T HELP WHEN YOU READ IT

740
00:38:47,616 --> 00:38:51,537
WRONG
♪ DON'T KNOW WHY I TRIP ON US

741
00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:55,458
YOU PUT ME DOWN, I PICK YOU UP
♪ CAN'T TELL YOU WHY, BUT TELL

742
00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:59,795
YOU WHAT
♪ YOU GOT ME THINKING

743
00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:06,719
I MIGHT BE BETTER ON MY OWN
♪ I HATE YOU BLOWING UP MY PHONE

744
00:39:06,802 --> 00:39:11,599
I WISH I NEVER MET YOU
♪ SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT

745
00:39:11,682 --> 00:39:14,268
BUT I'M NOT MYSELF
♪ THE NIGHTS YOU'RE GONE

746
00:39:14,351 --> 00:39:19,565
THERE AIN'T NO WAY I'M MOVING ON
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID TO NEED YOU BAD

747
00:39:19,648 --> 00:39:23,778
SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT
♪ SOMETIMES WHEN YOU'RE FALLING

748
00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:25,321
OFF TRACK
♪ BABY, DON'T YOU LEAVE ME LIKE

749
00:39:25,404 --> 00:39:30,284
THAT
♪ DON'T CRY

750
00:39:30,367 --> 00:39:35,247
'CAUSE WE'RE BOTH JUST OUT OF
♪ OUR MIND, YEAH

751
00:39:35,331 --> 00:39:35,748
>> STEPHEN: KANE BROWN, SWAY LEE
AND KHALID, EVERYBODY!

752
00:39:35,831 --> 00:39:37,458
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

753
00:39:37,541 --> 00:39:37,958
♪
♪

754
00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:40,586
♪

755
00:39:47,551 --> 00:39:49,220
>> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR "A
LATE SHOW."

756
00:39:49,303 --> 00:39:52,640
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST
WILL BE PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.

757
00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:54,433
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.

758
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,644
GOODNIGHT!

759
00:39:56,727 --> 00:40:00,689
♪
♪

760
00:40:00,773 --> 00:40:01,357
♪
♪

761
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:05,444
♪
♪

762
00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:18,457
♪
♪

763
00:40:18,541 --> 00:40:20,751
Captioning sponsored by CBS
Captioned by

764
00:40:22,461 --> 00:40:32,680
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

765
00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:35,808
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪