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00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:05,130
>> THE C.D.C. ONCE AGAIN
ADVISING PEOPLE NOT TO TRAVEL

2
00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:06,256
FOR THANKSGIVING.

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00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:09,551
>> DR. SCOTT ATLAS SAID THAT
THEY SHOULD INVITE ELDERLY

4
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:12,053
RELATIVES BECAUSE IT COULD BE
THEIR LAST THANKSGIVING.

5
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:16,224
>> THIS KIND OF ISOLATION IS ONE
OF THE UNSPOKEN TRAGEDIES OF THE

6
00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:19,102
ELDERLY, WHO ARE NOW BEING TOLD
DON'T SEE YOUR FAMILY AT

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00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,103
THANKSGIVING.

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00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,814
FOR MANY PEOPLE, THIS IS THEIR
FINAL THANKSGIVING.

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00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:29,654
>> THIS THANKSGIVING, HALLMARK
INTRODUCES THE DR. ATLAS HOLIDAY

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00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,406
CARD COLLECTION.

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YOU WILL GET SUCH TOUCHING
SENTIMENTS AS --

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00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:46,129
OR --
AND THE HEART WARMING --

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SO PICK UP HALLMARK'S THE
DR. ATLAS HOLIDAY CARD

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00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,642
COLLECTION TODAY BECAUSE
DR. ATLAS SAYS TO IGNORE THE

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00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,270
C.D.C. AND DON'T FEAR THE
PIL-GRIM REAPER.

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00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:10,028
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!

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TONIGHT, HE'S DYING UP THERE.

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PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES LL COOL J,
DAVE GROHL AND MUSICAL GUEST

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FOO FIGHTERS, FEATURING JON
BATISTE AND "STAY HOMIN."

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NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED
SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING

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IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN
COLBERT!

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>> Stephen: WELCOME!

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TO "A LATE SHOW."

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I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M YELLING.

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WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

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IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.

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I'M STEPHEN COLBERT, YOUR HOST.

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MARK, CHRIS, EVIE IS HERE.

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ALWAYS A LOVELY NIGHT.

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YOU'RE LOOKING LOVELY OVER
THERE.

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>> FOLKS, AS YOU ALWAYS DO --
THAT'S NOT NEWS.

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FOLKS, AS MUCH AS IT'S HARD TO
CONTEMPLATE, OUR NATION IS IN

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THE GRIPS OF A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS
PLAGUE, AND HE WON'T LEAVE THE

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00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,708
WHITE HOUSE.

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IT'S BEEN 12 DAYS SINCE THE
PRESIDENT LOST THE ELECTION

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AND HE CONTINUES TO PURSUE
HIS STRONG LEGAL ARGUMENT OF

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"BUT I DON'T WANNA!"
I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST

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PRESIDENTIAL SELF-PITY PARTY IN
MY SADOMASOCHISTIC SEGMENT:

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>> ONE, TWO, A RECOUNT, A COUP,
THREE, FOUR, A CIVIL WAR

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00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:32,986
FIVE, SIX, WE ARE HUGE DICKS!

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>> ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE!

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00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:38,700
>> Stephen: I THINK "HUGE" IS
GENEROUS.

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THE PRESIDENTIAL LEGAL TEAM IS
ON A BIT OF A

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LOSING STREAK.

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AFTER DISMISSING THEIR LAST
REMAINING FEDERAL LAWSUIT IN

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00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:46,249
MICHIGAN THIS MORNING, THEY ARE
ONE TO 29 FOR POST-ELECTION

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00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,333
LITIGATION.

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00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:51,588
THE PRESIDENT'S JUST FULFILLING
THIS CAMPAIGN PROMISE:

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00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:52,672
>> WE WILL HAVE SO MUCH LOSING!

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00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,425
IF I GET ELECTED THAT YOU MAY
GET BORED WITH LOSING!

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>> STEPHEN: BUT THE BAD NEWS IS
NOT STOPPING TRUMP LAWYER AND

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PHANTOM OF THE SEX SHOP, RUDY
GIULIANI.

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00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,063
EARLIER TODAY, GIULIANI HELD
ANOTHER PRESS CONFERENCE TO

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00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,231
SPOUT HIS CONSPIRACY THEORIES.

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UNFORTUNATELY, IT SEEMS LIKE
FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING

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WAS BOOKED, SO THIS EVENT WAS
HELD AT THE HEADQUARTERS OF THE

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00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:16,571
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE.

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STILL, THE SAME AMOUNT OF MANURE
WAS INVOLVED.

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00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,452
EVEN THOUGH THE PENNSYLVANIA
SUPREME COURT ALREADY RULED THAT

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00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,413
GOP OBSERVERS HAD APPROPRIATE
ACCESS TO THE RECOUNT, RUDY KEPT

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00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:31,002
COMPLAINING THEY COULDN'T SEE
THE COUNTING.

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AND HE CITED THE LEGAL PRECEDENT
OF... A JOE PESCI MOVIE FROM THE

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00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,422
'90S.

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>> WE COULD DO, LIKE, A-- DID
YOU ALL WATCH "MY COUSIN VINNY"?

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YOU KNOW THE MOVIE?

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IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE LAW
MOVIES, BECAUSE HE COMES FROM

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BROOKLYN, AND WHEN-- AND WHEN
THE NICE LADY SAID SHE SAW AND

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00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:53,024
THEN HE SAYS TO HER "HOW MANY
FINGERS DO I GOT UP?"

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00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:56,778
AND SHE SAYS, "THREE."

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WELL, SHE WAS TOO FAR AWAY TO
SEE IT WAS ONLY TWO.

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THESE PEOPLE WERE FURTHER AWAY
THAN MY COUSIN VINNY WAS FROM

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THE WITNESS.

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00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,997
THEY COULDN'T SEE A THING.

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>> STEPHEN: OKAY, NOW I EVEN
FEEL BAD FOR THE WOMEN UP THERE

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00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,500
WITH HIM.

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00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,127
THEY GOT ALL DRESSED UP, JUST TO
HAVE A MAN EXPLAIN ALL THE

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00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,171
DETAILS OF A MOVIE HE LIKES?

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(AS GIULIANI)
"SO, SOMETIMES THEY CALL HIM

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00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:20,009
GOLLUM, BUT SOMETIMES THEY CALL
HIM SMEAGOL.

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00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,512
HE ACTUALLY REFERS TO HIMSELF AS
'WE' AND 'PRECIOUS.'

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00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:28,351
ANYWAYS... ANY OF YOU LADIES
WANNA HELP ME TUCK IN MY SHIRT?"

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BY THE WAY, MY FAVORITE LAW
MOVIE IS THE ONE WHERE BORAT

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TRICKS YOU INTO GOING TO A
HOTEL BEDROOM AND...

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POUND YOUR PANTS GAVEL.

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00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,530
IF IT PLEASE THE COURT, YOUR
HONOR, MAY I APPROACH THE

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00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,698
CROTCH?

87
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:45,076
AND IT SEEMS LIKE THE PRESS
CONFERENCE WAS GETTING A LITTLE

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HOT, BECAUSE PARTWAY THROUGH HIS
PRESENTATION, RUDY SWEAT SO MUCH

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THAT HIS HAIR DYE STARTED
RUNNING DOWN HIS FACE.

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00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:57,338
EITHER THAT, OR HE HAD SO MUCH
TO DRINK HE WAS SWEATING MERLOT.

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JIMMY, DO WE HAVE ANOTHER ANGLE
ON THAT?

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00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:04,512
REMIND ME: IS IT A GOOD SIGN
WHEN YOUR LAWYER STARTS MELTING?

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LOOKS LIKE RUDY GOT A BAD BATCH
OF "JUST FOR HENCHMEN."

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00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:13,062
THAT'S NOT JUST HAIR DYE-- IT
LOOKS LIKE HIS HAIR IS DYING.

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00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,566
RUDY DYED HIS HAIR, BUT HIS HEAD
IS CHALLENGING THE RESULTS.

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00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:20,403
EVIDENTLY HE HAD HIS HAIR STYLED
AT JIFFY LUBE.

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NOW, OBVIOUSLY, IT'S EASY TO
MAKE FUN OF RUDY HERE, BUT IT'S

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00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,744
ALSO VERY SATISFYING.

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00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,913
HERE'S THE THING: RUDY AND THE
REST OF THE PRESIDENT'S

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ATTORNEYS DO NOT SPECIALIZE IN
ELECTION LAW.

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00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:36,919
BUT THEY INSIST THEY'RE THE
RIGHT PEOPLE FOR THE CON JOB.

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>> THIS IS AN ELITE STRIKE FORCE
TEAM THAT IS WORKING ON BEHALF

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THE PRESIDENT AND THE CAMPAIGN
TO MAKE SURE THAT OUR

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00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,427
CONSTITUTION IS PROTECTED.

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>> STEPHEN: YES, AN ELITE STRIKE
FORCE: SEAL TEAM SUCKS.

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00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:56,147
A FEW PEOPLE IN THE
ADMINISTRATION MUST HAVE SEEN

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00:05:56,230 --> 00:06:02,445
THE WRITING ON THE WALL
THOUGH, BECAUSE ADVISERS HAVE

108
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,906
STARTED TALKING TO THE PRESIDENT
ABOUT WHAT THE END LOOKS LIKE,

109
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,783
USING THE WORD "CONCLUSION"
RATHER THAN "CONCESSION."

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00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,285
THEY'RE TALKING TO HIM LIKE HE'S
A THREE-YEAR-OLD.

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"MR. PRESIDENT, YOU DIDN'T LOSE,
YOUR CAMPAIGN JUST WENT DOWN THE

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00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,289
BIG BOY POTTY."

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00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:16,667
THEY'RE ALSO USING PHRASES LIKE
"GOING INTO RETIREMENT," INSTEAD

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00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:19,420
OF "GOING TO JAIL."

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00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,339
BUT THEY'RE NOT PUTTING MUCH
EFFORT INTO IT.

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HERE'S THE PRESIDENT'S CHIEF OF
STAFF YESTERDAY, RESPONDING TO A

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REPORTER'S QUESTION ABOUT VOTER
FRAUD:

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>> YOU SAID YOU'VE SEEN SPECIFIC
VOTER FRAUD EXAMPLES-- WHAT ARE

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00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,101
THOSE EXACTLY?

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00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,978
>> IT WOULD BE TOO LONG TO GET
INTO AND LITIGATE IT HERE.

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>> STEPHEN: (AS MEADOWS)
"I HAVE TONS OF SPECIFICS.

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00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,733
I LEFT THEM WITH MY CANADIAN
GIRLFRIEND.

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LET ME JUST TEXT MY HER.

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00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:49,283
UH-OH, MY DOG ATE MY CANADA."

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00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,286
SO THE END MAY BE IN SIGHT,
WHICH IS GOOD, OBVIOUSLY, BUT

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00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,246
ALSO, IT'S KIND OF SAD.

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00:06:53,329 --> 00:07:07,635
BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST FUN
I'VE HAD IN YEARS.

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00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,345
FOR TEN DAYS, WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO
WATCH THE PRESIDENT LOSE OVER

129
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,471
AND OVER AGAIN.

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LOSE THE ELECTION, LOSE THE
RECOUNT, LOSE THE LAWSUITS!

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IT'S LIKE CHANUKAH: WE THOUGHT
THERE WAS ONLY ENOUGH STUPID TO

132
00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:15,560
LAST FOR ONE DAY, BUT
MIRACULOUSLY, IT JUST KEEPS

133
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:16,769
GOING.

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00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:22,400
ALSO, I'M JUST POUNDING DOWN
FRIED POTATOES WITH APPLE SAUCE.

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ONE PERSON WHO'S NOT ENJOYING
THE ATTEMPTED COUP IS HEAD OF

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00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,698
THE GENERAL SERVICES
ADMINISTRATION AND WOMAN WHO IS

137
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,535
EITHER 14 OR 40, EMILY MURPHY.

138
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,704
MURPHY HAS RECEIVED A LOT OF
CRITICISM FOR NOT RELEASING

139
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,331
FUNDS FOR THE INCOMING BIDEN
ADMINISTRATION TO BEGIN THEIR

140
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,208
TRANSITION.

141
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,669
WHICH APPARENTLY HAS BEEN ROUGH
ON... HER?

142
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,505
ACCORDING TO HER FRIENDS, SHE IS
STRUGGLING WITH THE WEIGHT OF

143
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,716
THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION BEING
DROPPED ON HER SHOULDERS,

144
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:50,887
FEELING LIKE SHE'S BEEN PUT IN A
NO-WIN SITUATION.

145
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,514
SHE'S RIGHT, IT IS A NO-WIN
SITUATION.

146
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:58,728
BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO A
SECOND TERM, HER BOSS NO WIN.

147
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,856
SINCE THE ELECTION, MURPHY
HASN'T MADE ANY PUBLIC

148
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,065
APPEARANCES, AND EVERYBODY'S
BEEN WAITING FOR HER TO MAKE A

149
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,108
STATEMENT.

150
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:10,781
AND SHE FINALLY DID LAST NIGHT,
WHEN SHE TWEETED:

151
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:17,413
"DCCCF REX ZZZ @#Z@SMANN ANANN."

152
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:19,749
HOPE I'M PRONOUNCING THAT
CORRECTLY.

153
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,417
EITHER THAT'S AN ACCIDENTAL
TWEET, OR SHE'S TRYING TO CALL

154
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:21,751
FORTH SOME SORT OF LOVECRAFTIAN
CREATURE FROM ANOTHER

155
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:22,668
DIMENSION.

156
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:28,841
(AS MURPHY)
"FROM THE DEPTHS OF D'CCCF REX,

157
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:32,220
I CALL FORTH TO THEE,
AT-SMANNANAN, SEPARATOR OF

158
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,764
DARKNESS FROM LIGHT, REND
ASUNDER THE THIN VEIL OF REALITY

159
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,433
AND SEND FORTH C'THULU!

160
00:08:37,516 --> 00:08:44,774
AND C'VFEFE!"
HOPE I DIDN'T DO THAT TOO

161
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:45,733
POWERFULLY.

162
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:49,403
I DON'T WANT TO SUMMON ANOTHER
WORLDLY DEMON.

163
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,988
ONE THING THE PRESIDENT HAS NOT
BEEN DOING IS... ANYTHING.

164
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,490
BUT HE HAS DECIDED TO CONTINUE
ONE LONG-RUNNING TRADITION:

165
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:57,411
HE WILL PARDON THE ANNUAL
THANKSGIVING TURKEY AT THE

166
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,621
WHITE HOUSE ON TUESDAY.

167
00:08:58,704 --> 00:08:59,914
GIVEN ALL THE COVID OUTBREAKS
AT THE WHITE HOUSE, THE TURKEY

168
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,415
MAY WANT TO OPT OUT OF THE
WHOLE CEREMONY.

169
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,668
(AS TURKEY)
"THANKS, BUT I'LL TAKE MY

170
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:04,794
CHANCES WITH THE HATCHET."

171
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:08,923
(GOBBLES)
THE PRESIDENT ISN'T THE ONLY

172
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:12,677
DISEASE VECTOR GETTING READY FOR
THANKSGIVING.

173
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,137
THE PANDEMIC IS THREATENING
TO TURN THE HOLIDAY INTO A

174
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,347
SUPER-SPREADER EVENT.

175
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:17,139
AND I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON ALL THE
DEPRESSING DETAILS IN MY VIRAL

176
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:28,109
SEGMENT:
CATCH A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS

177
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:28,651
BUMMER!

178
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,695
>> SEASON'S GREETINGS!

179
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:32,697
>> Stephen: WHERE'S MY SPRITE?

180
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:37,618
OR MY SPRAY BOTTLE.

181
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:38,619
YESTERDAY, WE CROSSED A HORRIBLE
THRESHOLD

182
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,829
IN THE EPIDEMIC.

183
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:40,997
BECAUSE THE CORONAVIRUS HAS NOW
KILLED A QUARTER OF A MILLION

184
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,707
PEOPLE IN THE U.S., AND AT THE
CURRENT RATE, THE DISEASE IS

185
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:48,337
KILLING AT LEAST ONE AMERICAN
EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY.

186
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,173
UNLIKE IN THE SPRING, WHEN
THINGS WERE BAD, RIGHT NOW

187
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:57,471
THINGS ARE BAD EVERYWHERE.

188
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,848
AS OF YESTERDAY, 47 STATES HAD
AT LEAST 10% MORE NEW DAILY

189
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,474
CASES.

190
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:00,808
IN FACT, ONLY HAWAII HAS SEEN
AT LEAST A 10% DECREASE IN

191
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:04,645
NEW CASES.

192
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:05,855
MAKES SENSE.

193
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:09,525
IN HAWAII, "ALOHA" MEANS BOTH
"HELLO" AND "PUT ON YOUR (BLEEP)

194
00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:10,860
MASK."

195
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:21,370
THERE ARE SO MANY NEW CASES THAT
THE "NEW YORK TIMES" HAD TO

196
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,538
UPDATE HOW THEY DO COVID MAPS.

197
00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:25,416
YESTERDAY THEY EXPLAINED, "THE
OUTBREAK HAS BECOME SO BAD IN

198
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,878
PARTS OF THE COUNTRY THAT OUR
OLD SCALE NO LONGER SHOWED ANY

199
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:33,466
VARIATION N SEVERITY,
EVERYTHING WAS JUST SOLID RED."

200
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:34,759
SO, HERE'S HOW THEY CHANGED IT.

201
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:37,553
(AS OFFICIAL)
"AS YOU CAN SEE, MINNESOTA IS A

202
00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:39,722
DEEP AUBERGINE, WHILE NEBRASKA
IS A SOOTHING BURGUNDY, AND MY

203
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:45,102
PANTS ARE HOLDING STEADY AT A
CODE BROWN."

204
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,230
THERE ARE SO MANY CASES ALL OVER
THE COUNTRY THAT TODAY, THE

205
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:52,234
C.D.C. RECOMMENDED AGAINST ALL
TRAVEL FOR THANKSGIVING.

206
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:56,864
BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT
ANYWAY, THEY'VE ISSUED SOME TIPS

207
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,866
ON DOING IT SAFELY, LIKE:
"ENCOURAGE GUESTS TO AVOID

208
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,910
SHOUTING."

209
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:01,786
HOW IS THAT GOING TO WORK?

210
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:05,581
AT THANKSGIVINGS, SHOUTING IS A
SIDE DISH.

211
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:09,460
(TIMID, POLITE)
"UNCLE RANDY?

212
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:13,089
I'D LIKE TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO USE
YOUR INSIDE VOICE WHEN YOU SHARE

213
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:16,926
YOUR FEELINGS THAT GEORGE SOROS
IS PUSHING THE GAY AGENDA WITH

214
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:21,263
SUGAR-FREE GUM?"
BUT THE C.D.C.'S MOST DRASTIC

215
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:25,476
SUGGESTION IS TO ENCOURAGE
GUESTS TO AVOID SINGING.

216
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:26,602
WELL, COME ON!

217
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,938
ARE YOU SAYING FAMILIES WON'T
BE ABLE TO SING ALL THOSE

218
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:32,608
BELOVED THANKSGIVING CAROLS?

219
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,944
WELL, LUCKILY, YOU CAN STILL
ENJOY THEM ALL, WITH THIS

220
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:40,491
SEASON'S HOTTEST HOLIDAY ALBUM:
>> THE PANDEMIC MAY HAVE

221
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,285
CANCELED YOUR TURKEY DAY SING
ALONG BUT YOU CAN STILL LISTEN

222
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:47,915
TO THE SWEET SOUNDS OF THE
THANKSGIVING CAROLS YOU LOVE IN

223
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:50,126
ONE NEW ALBUM CALLED I AM JAMS.

224
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:56,298
ENJOY ALL THE HOLLY GOBBLEY
HITS!

225
00:11:56,382 --> 00:12:00,302
♪ HAVE YOURSELF ANOTHER SPOON OF
GRAVY ♪

226
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:06,434
♪ LET YOUR HEART JUST DIE ♪
♪ .

227
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,603
>> AND WHO CAN FORGET --
♪

228
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:13,315
♪
♪ ROCKIN' AROUND THE CASTLE

229
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:17,611
ROLL ♪
♪ IT'S A GREEN BEAN HAPPY TIME ♪

230
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:23,659
>> AND EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE ♪
♪ CRANBERRY SAUCE CRANBERRY

231
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:29,373
SAUCE CRANBERRY SAUCE CRANBERRY
SAUCE ♪

232
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:34,962
>> WE EVEN INCLUDED --
♪ RANDY THE RED NOSED UNCLE ♪

233
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,715
♪ HE'S HAD WAY TOO MUCH TO
DRINK ♪

234
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:43,846
♪ WE'LL NEVER LET POOR RANDY
EVER HOLD HIS BABY NIECE ♪

235
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:47,016
>> AND THEN THIS CLASSIC.

236
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:51,896
♪ JIGGLE FAT JIGGLE FAT ♪
♪ I HAVE GAINED SOME WEIGHT ♪

237
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:55,191
>> AND FOR OUR JEWISH FRIENDS.

238
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,861
♪ STUFFING STUFFING STUFFING ♪
♪ STUFFING I WOULD EAT ♪

239
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:03,908
♪ STUFFING STUFFING STUFFING, IT
KIND OF TASTES LIKE FEET ♪

240
00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:07,036
>> SEASONS EATINGS, EVERYBODY!

241
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,037
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

242
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,039
>> THAT'S WHAT I CALL I AM JAMS.

243
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,081
ORDER NOW!

244
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:15,586
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

245
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,005
LL COOL J IS HERE, AND LATER A
PERFORMANCE BY FOO FIGHTERS.

246
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:20,341
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
"MEANWHILE!"!

247
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:20,466
JOIN US.

248
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:47,910
♪
>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,

249
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,078
EVERYBODY!

250
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,956
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS, TIME
TO SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

251
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,375
HELLO, JON, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

252
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,585
>> Jon: HEY!

253
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:56,877
HEAR THAT?

254
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:57,586
♪
♪

255
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,631
♪
>> Stephen: WHAT BEAT IS THAT?

256
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,551
WHAT RHYTHM IS THAT?

257
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,051
CLOV?

258
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,469
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH!

259
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,428
HEY, HEY!

260
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,932
>> Stephen: I HAVE A SERIOUS
QUESTION FOR YOU.

261
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:13,811
REMEMBER LAST NIGHT WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT THOSE BISCUITS

262
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:14,603
FROM CHARLESTON.

263
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,604
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS.

264
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,772
OH, YES, YES.

265
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:20,234
>> Stephen: OKAY, SO I GOT
FAMILY WORKING ON THIS, BUT THEY

266
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:24,947
NEED TO KNOW, DOES THIS GO TO
KENNER OR IS THIS GOING UP HERE?

267
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,448
WHICH WAY DO YOU WANT IT TO GO?

268
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,908
>> IT WOULD BE NICE TO GIVE SOME
TO THE FAMILY.

269
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,286
I WON'T BE DOWN.

270
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:36,458
I WON'T BE AT KENNER, BUT IT
WOULD BE NICE TO GIVE SOME TO

271
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,126
THE FAMILY.

272
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,210
>> Stephen: WE WOULD SEND TWO.

273
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,964
WE'VE GOT TOP MAN ON IT RIGHT
NOW.

274
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:42,464
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.

275
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,174
I GOT THE BOOK, TOO!

276
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:46,093
THE BOOK!

277
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:46,719
WOW!

278
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,346
>> Stephen: DID YOU GET IT?

279
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,639
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS!

280
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,392
THOSE SONGS, THAT'S GOING TO --
THAT IS GOING TO ENRICH MY LIFE

281
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:56,145
IN WAYS I DON'T EVEN KNOW YET,
SO THANK YOU.

282
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,105
>> Stephen: I'M SO GLAD YOU
LIKE IT.

283
00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,481
IT'S DEEP, ISN'T IT?

284
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,900
>> Jon: IT'S VERY, VERY DEEP.

285
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:06,447
SUCH AN INCREDIBLE HISTORY, SO
MUCH TO LEARN FROM THAT AND THE

286
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,490
COMBINATION OF MY HISTORY, IT'S
AMAZING.

287
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,118
>> Stephen: FOR PEOPLE
WONDERING, I GAVE JOHN A BOOK

288
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:14,830
CALLED "AIN'T YOU GOT A RIGHT TO
THE TREE OF LIFE," WHICH IS A

289
00:15:14,913 --> 00:15:24,798
BOOK OF INTERVIEWS WITH GULLA
PEOPLE WHO LIVED ON THE COAST IN

290
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,884
THE '60s AND THE SONGS THEY
SANG.

291
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,552
THOUGHT YOU WOULD ENJOY THAT.

292
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,179
>> Jon: THANK YOU, THAT'S
AMAZING.

293
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:34,016
>> Stephen: CAN'T GET THAT IN
HARDBACK ANYMORE, BUDDY.

294
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:34,850
>> Jon: OH!

295
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,019
I'M A COLLECTOR!

296
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:41,649
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON.

297
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,816
BYE!

298
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:46,862
YOU KNOW, EVERY DAY I TAKE
EXTENSIVE M.R.I.'S OF THE DAY'S

299
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:49,657
BIGGEST STORIES, ORDER THOROUGH
TOPICAL BLOODWORK, AND RUN A

300
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,743
FULL WORK-UP OF STORY
DIAGNOSTICS TO CREATE FOR YOU

301
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,036
THE COMPREHENSIVE NEWS WELLNESS
EVALUATION THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

302
00:15:54,119 --> 00:16:00,542
BUT SOMETIMES, IT'S NICE TO JUST
WALK DOWN TO THE OVERPASS IN MY

303
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,544
ROBE AND GET IN THE VAN OF A GUY
WHO CLAIMS HE HAS AN ASSOCIATE

304
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:06,882
DEGREE IN EQUINE MEDICINE FOR
THE UNLICENSED PROSTATE EXAM OF

305
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:14,348
NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
"QUARANTINE-WHILE!"

306
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:18,852
QUARANTINE-WHILE, AMAZON IS NOW
SELLING PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.

307
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,104
WHICH MIGHT SOUND GOOD, BUT I
CAN DEFINITELY SEE A DOWNSIDE TO

308
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:26,276
MAKING ALEXA YOUR DRUG DEALER.

309
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:26,985
>> DID YOU GO TO CVS YESTERDAY?

310
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,363
I THOUGHT WE HAD AN ARRANGEMENT.

311
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:37,621
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO CUT A
(BLEEP).

312
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:42,793
>> Stephen: IF YOU THINK WHAT
GAMERS NEED THE LORD, GOOD NEWS,

313
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:52,553
SOME GAMERS ARE BRINGING
JESUS TO TWITCH."

314
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:54,221
JESUS IS A PERFECT VIDEO GAME
CHARACTER.

315
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,347
HE HAD A CLEAR MISSION, HE
FOUGHT EVIL, HE HAD EXTRA LIVES,

316
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,767
AND WHEN HE EATS THE MAGIC
FLOWER HE CAN SHOOT FIREBALLS.

317
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,271
THESE GAME-VANGELISTS ARE PART
OF "GOD-MODE ACTIVATED," A GROUP

318
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,940
DEDICATED TO "ACTIVATING GAMERS
IN FAITH," AND WHO USE STREAMING

319
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:08,318
PLATFORMS TO SPREAD THE GOSPEL
WHILE PLAYING "FORTNITE."

320
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,113
THE PERFECT VENUE TO SPREAD
JESUS' MESSAGE TO THE PHARISEES:

321
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:14,867
"BLESSED ARE THEY WHO RACK UP
THE HIGHEST KILL COUNT AND DO

322
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:19,121
THE SICKEST DANCES OVER THE
BODIES OF THEIR ENEMIES."

323
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:22,791
QUARANTINE-WHILE, A NEW REPORT
HAS FOUND THAT PLATYPUS FUR

324
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,001
GLOWS GREEN UNDER U.V. LIGHT.

325
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,795
WHICH IS GOING TO MAKE FOR A
SUPER MESSED UP SCENE ON "C.S.I.

326
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,299
BRISBANE."

327
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:34,136
LOOKS LIKE THIS ORNITHORYNCHIDAE
IS...

328
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:34,928
ORNITHORYNCHI-DEAD.

329
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:44,813
♪
>> YEAAHHH!

330
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,858
>> Stephen: NO, HE PUTS THEM
ON THEN SAYS IT.

331
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:51,069
HONEY, WE HAVE A TEAM ON THIS.

332
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,196
CAN YOU RESEARCH THAT?

333
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,865
DID IT RIGHT?

334
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:58,869
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

335
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,662
NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING--
STEPHEN, WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE

336
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,164
SHINING U.V. LIGHTS ON
PLATYPUSES?

337
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,041
AS ONE OF THE RESEARCHERS
EXPLAINED, "IT WAS A MIX OF

338
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:07,002
SERENDIPITY AND CURIOSITY."

339
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,879
BUDDY, THAT'S A LOT OF $10 WORDS
JUST TO SAY "ME 'N DALE GOT HIGH

340
00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:12,216
IN THE LAB."

341
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:15,010
QUARANTINE-WHILE, K.F.C. IS
GOING TO BE SERVING FRIED

342
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:19,014
CHICKEN IN REPLICAS OF ITS
HOLIDAY-THEMED BUCKETS FROM

343
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:24,311
1966 AND 1971.

344
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,230
A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE CHICKEN
PEOPLE SAID "WE HOPE OUR HOLIDAY

345
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:29,399
BUCKETS HELP EVERYONE HARK BACK
TO A SIMPLER TIME."

346
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,401
AH, YES, THE LATE '60S: A
SIMPLER TIME OF RACIAL CONFLICT,

347
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:34,988
POLITICAL ASSASSINATIONS, AND
BEING TOO BUSY SMOKING

348
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:38,408
UNFILTERED CAMEL CIGARETTES TO
CARE WHAT FRIED CHICKEN WAS

349
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:41,203
DOING TO US.

350
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,287
QUARANTINE-WHILE, WE HERE AT
"MEANWHILE CLOUD-BASED

351
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:45,082
CONTRACTING, CLICK-AND-MORTAR
INNOVATION CONSORTIUM

352
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,335
INCORPORATED" SOMETIMES ACQUIRE
SO MANY OWL-RELATED STORIES, WE

353
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:52,214
COLLECT THEM IN OUR
QUARANTINE-WHILE SUB-SUB

354
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:57,219
SEGMENT:
"MEANWH-OWL."

355
00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:01,557
MEANWH-OWL, CENTRAL PARK'S NEW
CELEBRITY BIRD IS BARRY THE

356
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,432
BARRED OWL.

357
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,935
SO MAJESTIC!

358
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,062
AND A MAJOR IMPROVEMENT OVER
CENTRAL PARK'S OLD CELEBRITY

359
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:12,109
BIRD, ALAN, THE CHAIN-SMOKING
PIGEON.

360
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:17,239
MEANWH-OWL, "A TINY OWL WAS
SAVED AFTER GETTING STUCK IN THE

361
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:17,990
ROCKEFELLER CENTER TREE."

362
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:23,078
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HIM--
AWWWWW!

363
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:24,246
LOOK AT HOW TINY HE IS.

364
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,540
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO
GET TO THE CENTER OF THAT LIL'

365
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:32,546
GUY?

366
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:33,380
THAT FIRST PICTURE WAS TAKEN
IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE WAS REMOVED

367
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,716
FROM HIS MIDTOWN RENT-CONTROLLED
TREE.

368
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,552
AND HERE HE IS AT THE MOMENT HE
FOUND OUT HOW MUCH A STUDIO

369
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,721
APARTMENT COSTS IN NEW YORK.

370
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:43,056
SO HE HAS BEEN MOVED TO A
SANCTUARY UPSTATE, WHERE HE IS

371
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,101
LOOKING MUCH BETTER!

372
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,185
WHAT A GLOW-UP!

373
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,229
MICHAEL B. JORDAN IS LUCKY THE
"SEXIEST MAN ALIVE" WAS

374
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:55,068
ANNOUNCED YESTERDAY, OR THAT
COVER WOULD BE VERY DIFFERENT.

375
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:55,819
LADIES, HE'S NOCTURNAL.

376
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,238
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
LL COOL J.

377
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:17,841
♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

378
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:18,675
EVERYBODY!

379
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,678
MY FIRST GUEST IS A
MULTI-PLATINUM AND

380
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,263
GRAMMY-WINNING ARTIST, A
BEST-SELLING AUTHOR, AND AN

381
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:27,643
ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM
HIS 12 SEASONS ON "NCIS:

382
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,811
LOS ANGELES."

383
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,481
PLEASE WELCOME LL COOL J!

384
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:32,814
HELLO, SIR!

385
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,692
HOW ARE YA?

386
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,194
>> MR. COLBERT, HOW YOU DOING,
MAN?

387
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,654
>> Stephen: I'M DOING WELL.

388
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,322
I'M SO EXCITED YOU GUYS ARE BACK
ON THE AIR.

389
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,991
>> YEAH, IT'S EXCITING.

390
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,203
WE'RE KIND OF FILMING IN, LIKE,
A POST-PANDEMIC WORLD, WHICH IS

391
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:50,374
REALLY INTERESTING BECAUSE, IN
BETWEEN SHOTS, WE'VE GOT TO, YOU

392
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,501
KNOW, JUMP IN --
>> Stephen: I HEARD THAT.

393
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:56,213
I WAS GOING TO GET TO IT LATER
BUT LET'S DO IT NOW.

394
00:20:56,296 --> 00:21:00,050
FIRST OF ALL, I LOVE THERE ARE
OTHER TELEVISION SHOWS ON CBS

395
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,219
COMING ON, THE SEASON FINALLY
STARTED.

396
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:06,473
THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD, LIKE
PART OF A TEAM AGAIN.

397
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:07,683
>> YEAH.

398
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,643
>> Stephen: ALSO I LOVE THE
WHOLE SEASON IS BASED IN A WORLD

399
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:13,021
WHERE WE'VE GOTTEN THROUGH THE
PANDEMIC AND ARE ON THE OTHER

400
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,231
SIDE.

401
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:18,485
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE ON
SET AND IN CHARACTER AND DOING

402
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:22,322
IT WHERE WE CAN SEE WHAT IT'S
GOING TO FEEL LIKE TO SEE EACH

403
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,200
OTHER AND TOUCH AGAIN.

404
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:27,077
>> WE'RE NOT FULLY OUT BUT
THINGS ARE BETTER.

405
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,664
AS SOON AS THEY SAY CUT, THEY
RUN UP ON ME WITH 15 MASKS.

406
00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:34,418
YOU KNOW, I'M WASHING MY HANDS,
BEHIND MY EARS, I'M STOWING AWAY

407
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,920
IN THE CLOSET.

408
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:42,050
WE'VE GOT AN ORANGE SECTION TO
BE OFFICIAL EFFICIENT, WE HAVE A

409
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,719
YELLOW SECTION TO BE EFFICIENT.

410
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:46,722
CBS HAS BEEN REALLY I THINK, YOU
KNOW, SMART ABOUT HOW WE HAVE

411
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,015
BEEN DOING IT.

412
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:52,853
PEOPLE, LIKE, WE HAVE SPECIFIC
SECTIONS FOR SPECIFIC PEOPLE,

413
00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:55,731
BATHROOMS FOR SPECIFIC PEOPLE,
IT'S REALLY INTERESTING.

414
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:56,398
GETTING THROUGH IT.

415
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:57,524
GOT TO STAY HEALTHY.

416
00:21:57,607 --> 00:22:02,904
AT THE END TO HAVE THE DAY, STAY
HEALTHY.

417
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:07,701
>> Stephen: IT'S BEEN A YEAR
SINCE I TALKED TO YOU, AND WHAT

418
00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:11,288
HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO -- YOU
KNOW, SOME PEOPLE KIND OF FELL

419
00:22:11,371 --> 00:22:15,417
INTO A SPIRAL DEPRESSION BECAUSE
THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO, SOME

420
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,753
PEOPLE GOT VERY INTO HOBBIES OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

421
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:21,423
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH
THE TIME WHERE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN

422
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:21,923
WORKING?

423
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:22,424
>> EATING -- TOO MUCH.

424
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:23,175
>> Stephen: REALLY?

425
00:22:23,258 --> 00:22:26,928
I'M THE BEFORE PICTURE RIGHT
NOW.

426
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:31,725
BUT, YOU KNOW, IN ADDITION TO
THAT, I BASICALLY, YOU KNOW --

427
00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:35,395
YOU KNOW, LOOK, I'VE JUST REALLY
BEEN STAYING FOCUSED.

428
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:39,608
FOR ME, I WEAR A MASK, WASH MY
HANDS.

429
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:43,653
THERE'S A RAGING DEBATE ABOUT
MASKS WHICH I TOTALLY DON'T GET

430
00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:45,489
IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

431
00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:48,575
>> Stephen: I'M NOT SURE IT'S
SO MUCH A DEBATE AS AN EMOTIONAL

432
00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:49,743
RESPONSE.

433
00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:53,914
I DON'T THINK THERE'S, LIKE,
FACTS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE

434
00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:58,126
DEBATE, LIKE, WEAR A MASK, IT'S
AT LEAST NOT GOING TO HURT.

435
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,377
>> THEY'RE PRESENTING FACTS.

436
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:03,965
BUT MY THING IS, LIKE, OKAY, YOU
KNOW, I MEAN, YES, YOU KNOW, I

437
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:07,344
MEAN, THIS IS A LITTLE ROUGH,
BUT, YEAH, BULLET IN THE HEAD

438
00:23:07,427 --> 00:23:14,518
WILL KILL YOU BUT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU SHOULDN'T WEAR A BULLETPROOF

439
00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:15,310
VEST.

440
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,312
TAKE THE BEST PRECAUTIONS YOU
CAN.

441
00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:19,648
YOU WEAR A SEAT BELT.

442
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:23,777
SOMETHING COULD FALL OUT OF THE
SKY AND LAND ON YOUR CAR, BUT

443
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:24,820
WEAR A SEAT BELT.

444
00:23:24,903 --> 00:23:26,154
I DON'T REALLY GET IT.

445
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,157
THE THING FOR ME THAT'S BEEN
CHALLENGING IS TO UNDERSTAND

446
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,367
THAT.

447
00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:33,370
>> Stephen: ELSEWISE IN THESE
COVID TIMES, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE

448
00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:38,625
GOING TO STREAMING SERVICES,
OBVIOUSLY YOU AND RIABOUT

449
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:40,502
PARAMOUNT PLUS.

450
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:41,503
BUT THERE ARE OTHERS.

451
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:50,345
HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING QUEEN'S
GGAMBIT?

452
00:23:50,428 --> 00:23:51,513
>> YES.

453
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:52,764
THAT'S A SMART CHARACTER, SUCH A
REALLY INTERESTING STORY.

454
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:57,644
YOU KNOW, WATCHING THOSE -- YOU
KNOW, JUST HER LIFE UNFOLD --

455
00:23:57,727 --> 00:24:02,816
>> Stephen: DOES IT MAKE YOU
WANT TO PLAY CHESS?

456
00:24:02,899 --> 00:24:06,153
>> I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT
PLAYING CHESS.

457
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:07,571
I KNOW HOW THE PIECES MOVE.

458
00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:09,489
I WOULDN'T EXACTLY CALL IT
PLAYING CHESS.

459
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:10,699
YEAH, I CAN PLAY.

460
00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:13,535
I KNOW HOW THE PIECES MOVE, LET
ME SAY THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I

461
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:14,703
MEAN.

462
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:18,248
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I'M, LIKE,
LOOKING TO JOIN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

463
00:24:18,331 --> 00:24:22,252
CHESS CLUB AND GET 'EM UP AND
RUNNING, SMOKE 'EM OUT AND GET

464
00:24:22,335 --> 00:24:22,794
'EM RUNNING.

465
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:23,837
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

466
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,382
>> Stephen: JUST COME TO
NEW YORK AND GO DOWN TO

467
00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:30,343
WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK AND JOIN
THOSE GUYS.

468
00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:35,390
>> JUST GET HUSTLED RIGHT QUICK,
LOSE 20 BUCKS QUICK AND GO HOME

469
00:24:35,473 --> 00:24:36,725
WITH MY TAIL BETWEEN MY LEGS?

470
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:40,270
>> Stephen: YESTERDAY ACTUALLY
WAS THE 35th ANNIVERSARY OF

471
00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:45,192
YOUR DEBUT ALBUM "RADIO," AND
HERE YOU ARE 35 YEARS AGO, THIS

472
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,568
IS YOU IN 1985.

473
00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:47,694
>> YEAH.

474
00:24:47,777 --> 00:24:50,071
>> Stephen: REALLY, JUST
CHANGE THAT OUT FOR A BUCKET HAT

475
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:54,701
AND YOU LOOK THE SAME TO ME.

476
00:24:54,784 --> 00:24:57,829
>> (LAUGHING) THE SAME HUMAN
BEING.

477
00:24:57,913 --> 00:25:03,293
>> Stephen: WHAT WOULD YOU
WANT TO SAY TO THIS GUY ABOUT

478
00:25:03,376 --> 00:25:04,586
THE 35 YEARS COMING AHEAD?

479
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:07,589
ANY ADVICE?

480
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:08,840
>> ALL STOCK TIPS.

481
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:09,466
NO, I'M KIDDING.

482
00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:11,927
YOU KNOW, JUST STICK TO IT.

483
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:12,719
JUST KEEP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF.

484
00:25:12,802 --> 00:25:15,597
YOU HAVE PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH
KIDS.

485
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:16,848
THEY'RE WATCHING.

486
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:20,393
KEEP BELIEVING IN THE BEAUTY OF
YOUR DREAMS, KEEP BELIEVING YOU

487
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:23,230
CAN TAKE IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL AND
KEEP LEARNING.

488
00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,273
DON'T JUST BE CURIOUS, BUT
SEARCH.

489
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:30,278
ETH ONE THING TO BE CURIOUS, BUT
CURIOSITY CAN BE PASSIVE, BUT

490
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:30,862
SEARCHING IS ACTIVE.

491
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:32,489
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

492
00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:35,116
SO CURIOSITY CAN LEAD TO WONDER
OR SEARCHING.

493
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,995
SO MY THING IS YOU'VE GOT TO
SEARCH, YOU KNOW, FOR WHAT IT IS

494
00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:43,083
THAT YOU WANT TO DO, AND YOU
HAVE TO REALLY CONSIDER YOUR

495
00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:46,211
DREAMS, AND THAT'S WHAT I WOULD
TELL THEM, YOU KNOW, SEARCH AND

496
00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:51,925
KEEP LEARNING AND KEEP STUDYING
AND DON'T UNDERESTIMATE

497
00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,051
YOURSELF.

498
00:25:53,134 --> 00:25:55,929
>> Stephen: IT'S ALSO THE
30th ANNIVERSARY OF MOMMA SAID

499
00:25:56,012 --> 00:25:56,930
KNOCK YOU OUT.

500
00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:58,640
IT WAS INSPIRED BY ADVICE FROM
YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

501
00:25:58,723 --> 00:26:02,185
WHAT WAS THAT ADVICE AND DO YOU
STILL LIVE BY IT?

502
00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:07,857
>> I WAS COMING OFF AN ALBUM
THAT WAS CRITICALLY PANNED AND

503
00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:10,652
THE STREETS HAVE A NEGATIVE
REACTION TO IT AND I WAS FEELING

504
00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:11,903
DOWN.

505
00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:15,365
MY GRANDMOTHER SAID, YOU'VE GOT
TO GET OUT THERE AND KNOCK 'EM

506
00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:16,616
OUT.

507
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,286
YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT THERE AND
KNOCK 'EM OUT AND DO WHAT YOU

508
00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:20,537
NEED TO DO.

509
00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:27,502
I ACTUALLY TOOK THOSE WORDS SHE
SAID TO ME AND SAID, MOMMA SAID

510
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:31,464
KNOCK YOU EOUT.

511
00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:32,674
THAT'S ADVICE ON ANY LEVEL.

512
00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:35,677
IF YOU'RE IN A VALLEY AND TRYING
TO GET BACK ON A PEAKER OR IF

513
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,680
YOU'RE TRYING TO EXTEND A PEAK,
YOU HAVE TO KNOCK 'EM OUT.

514
00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:43,685
YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE INTESTINAL
FORTITUDE AND WHEREWITHAL TO

515
00:26:43,768 --> 00:26:47,272
KEEP GOING EVEN IN ADVERSE AT
THIS AND I THINK THAT APPLIES

516
00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:49,816
FROM THE STREETS TO THE HIGHEST
LEVELS OF GOVERNMENT, WHATEVER,

517
00:26:49,899 --> 00:26:53,862
LIKE BEING ABLE TO PERSEVERE AND
KNOCK 'EM OUT WHEN YOU'RE IN A

518
00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:57,824
TIGHT SPOT IS PART OF WHAT WE
NEED TO BE SUCCESSFUL AS HUMAN

519
00:26:57,907 --> 00:26:58,950
BEINGS, RIGHT.

520
00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:03,246
>> Stephen: GOOD ADVICE FOR
AMERICA RIGHT NOW.

521
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:04,456
>> ABSOLUTELY, 100%.

522
00:27:04,539 --> 00:27:08,001
>> Stephen: BEFORE I LET YOU
GO, I ASKED YOU THIS QUESTION IN

523
00:27:08,084 --> 00:27:09,002
2019 AND 2017.

524
00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:16,760
IT'S ONLY MORE RELEVANT WITH
EVERY PASSING YEAR.

525
00:27:16,843 --> 00:27:26,394
"NCIS" IS NAVEL CRIMINAL
CRIME --

526
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:28,688
>> NAVAL CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIVE
SERVICES.

527
00:27:28,772 --> 00:27:31,733
>> Stephen: IN LOS ANGELES.

528
00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:37,447
HOW COME YOU HAVEN'T CLEANED UP
ALL THE NAVAL CRIME IN TEN

529
00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:38,573
YEARS.

530
00:27:38,656 --> 00:27:42,494
>> I WANT TO TAKE TOTAL
RESPONSIBILITY FOR NOT TOTALLY

531
00:27:42,577 --> 00:27:43,661
ERADICATING CRIME FROM THE
EARTH.

532
00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:46,748
>> Stephen: NOT TOTALLY, JUST
NAVAL CRIME IN LOS ANGELES.

533
00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:49,376
>> WE'VE GOT WORK TO .

534
00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:51,753
DO IT'S LIKE A HEATED DRIVEWAY.

535
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:52,921
THE SNOW KEEPS MELTING.

536
00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:55,757
WE'RE NOT JUST GETTING THE CRIME
AND GETTING IT OUT OF THERE.

537
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:56,758
IT'S A PROBLEM.

538
00:27:56,841 --> 00:27:58,760
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR YOUR
SERVICE, I GUESS.

539
00:27:58,843 --> 00:28:02,263
>> YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

540
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:04,891
>> Stephen: "NCIS LOS ANGELES"
AIRS SUNDAYS

541
00:28:04,974 --> 00:28:06,434
AT 8:00 P.M. ON CBS.

542
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:07,268
LL COOL J, EVERYBODY!

543
00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:07,727
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DAVE
GROHL.

544
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:25,370
♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

545
00:28:25,453 --> 00:28:27,288
WELCOME BACK.

546
00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:30,792
MY NEXT GUEST IS A 16-TIME
GRAMMY AWARD-WINNING MUSICIAN

547
00:28:30,875 --> 00:28:33,795
AND ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAMER
FROM FOO FIGHTERS AND NIRVANA.

548
00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:36,297
PLEASE WELCOME DAVE GROHL!

549
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,466
HEY, DAVE!

550
00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:38,883
>> HI, HOW ARE YOU?

551
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:39,509
GOOD TO SEE YA.

552
00:28:39,592 --> 00:28:42,137
>> Stephen: I'M DOING WELL.

553
00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:45,849
NOW, WHAT I CAN'T BELIEVE IS
THAT 2020 -- THIS IS THE 25

554
00:28:45,932 --> 00:28:49,811
25th ANNIVERSARY YEAR OF THE
FOO FIGHTERS.

555
00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:51,104
THAT WAS FAST.

556
00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:54,983
DID YOU HAVE PLANS TO CELEBRATE
AND JUST COULDN'T BECAUSE OF THE

557
00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:55,650
COVID?

558
00:28:55,733 --> 00:28:56,651
>> YEAH.

559
00:28:56,734 --> 00:28:58,486
WE HAD -- WE HAVE BEEN PLANNING
FOR THIS YEAR --

560
00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:03,199
>> Stephen: SOME PEOPLE DON'T
MARK ANNIVERSARIES.

561
00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:04,325
>> -- YEARS AGO.

562
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:07,704
WE THOUGHT, OKAY, IT'S OUR
25th ANNIVERSARY, WE'RE GOING

563
00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:08,830
TO MAKE OUR TENTH RECORD.

564
00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:14,461
WE HAVE A WORLD DOMINATION
SCHEME TO CIRCLE THE PLANET A

565
00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,463
FEW TIMES, CELEBRATE WITH THE
WORLD.

566
00:29:16,546 --> 00:29:23,052
WE FINISHED MAKING A RECORD, HAD
THE T-SHIRTS PRINTED AND

567
00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,972
PRESSED, READY TO GO, TRUCKS
FILLED WITH EQUIPMENT, AND

568
00:29:26,055 --> 00:29:27,599
EVERYTHING JUST STOPPED.

569
00:29:27,682 --> 00:29:30,727
SO WE --
>> Stephen: DO THE T-SHIRTS

570
00:29:30,810 --> 00:29:31,853
SAY 2020 TOUR?

571
00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:35,231
DOES IT SAY --
>> 25th ANNIVERSARY.

572
00:29:35,315 --> 00:29:36,065
EVERYTHING.

573
00:29:36,149 --> 00:29:38,902
>> Stephen: WHAT HAPPENS TO
THEM NOW?

574
00:29:38,985 --> 00:29:42,363
>> WELL, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, YOU
GET A CAN OF SPRAY PAINT AND

575
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:45,992
JUST PAINT A SIX OVER THE
FIVE -- I DON'T KNOW REALLY WHAT

576
00:29:46,075 --> 00:29:46,868
YOU DO.

577
00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:50,413
WE DECIDED THIS WAS GOING TO BE
THE YEAR.

578
00:29:50,497 --> 00:29:57,212
WE WENT SO FAR AS TO MAKING A
25th ANNIVERSARY FOO FIGHTERS

579
00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,213
COORS LIGHT CAN.

580
00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:03,843
SO I HAVE PALLETTES OF THOSE
THINGS AT THE STUDIO.

581
00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:07,013
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY
THERE?

582
00:30:07,096 --> 00:30:08,348
I'D LOVE TO SEE.

583
00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:09,849
DO YOU HAVE ANY?

584
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:13,353
>> WELL, SINCE THERE'S PALLETTES
OF IT, LATELY, IT'S THE ONLY

585
00:30:13,436 --> 00:30:15,730
THING I HAVE BEEN DRINKING HERE
AT THE HOME OFFICE.

586
00:30:15,813 --> 00:30:19,067
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THOSE LOOK LIKE A

587
00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:20,026
TALL BOY.

588
00:30:20,109 --> 00:30:23,404
IS THAT, LIKE --
>> I MEAN, IT'S A FOO FIGHTERS

589
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:24,489
SIZE BEER.

590
00:30:24,572 --> 00:30:29,577
WE DON'T MESS AROUND WITH THE
LITTLE PONY BOY THINGS.

591
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,204
WE DO THESE RIGHT HERE.

592
00:30:31,287 --> 00:30:33,873
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE ONE TO
HAVE THE FEEL-GOOD STORIES OF

593
00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:34,332
THE YEAR.

594
00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:35,583
TELL ME THE STORY.

595
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:41,130
YOU ENDED UP DOING A DRUM BATTLE
WITH A 10-YEAR-OLD IN THE U.K.

596
00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:45,802
NAMED A NANDY BUSHEL.

597
00:30:45,885 --> 00:30:48,429
TELL ME HOW IT CAME ABOUT.

598
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:51,599
SHE WAS ALREADY PLAYING
FOO FIGHTERS SONGS ONLINE?

599
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:52,767
>> YEAH.

600
00:30:52,850 --> 00:31:00,775
ABOUT A YEAR AGO, NIRVANA'S
PRODUCER SENT ME A LINK TO HER

601
00:31:00,858 --> 00:31:04,404
INSTAGRAM WHERE SHE WAS PLAYING
A NIRVANA SONG "IN BLOOM."

602
00:31:04,487 --> 00:31:05,947
SHE'S TEN YEARS OLD.

603
00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:10,076
SHE'S THIS BIG, SHE'S TINY AND
JUST BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF HER

604
00:31:10,159 --> 00:31:10,952
DRUM SETS.

605
00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:16,249
AND WHEN SHE DOES DRUM ROLLS,
SHE SCREAMS.

606
00:31:16,332 --> 00:31:19,836
AND NOT ONLY IS SHE PLAYING THE
PARTS CORRECTLY, SHE SCREAMS

607
00:31:19,919 --> 00:31:23,506
WHEN SHE DOES THE DRUM ROLL.

608
00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:25,967
HE SAYS, SHE'S A FORCE OF
NATURE.

609
00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:30,972
TWO MONTHS AGO, SOMEBODY SENDS
ME ANOTHER LINK AND SAID THIS

610
00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:33,933
KID'S CHALLENGING YOU TO A DRUM
BATTLE.

611
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:34,892
I SAID, ISN'T THAT CUTE?

612
00:31:34,976 --> 00:31:37,937
SHE WAS PLAYING A FOO FIGHTERS
SONG EVER LONG.

613
00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:41,107
AT THE END SHE SAID, I CHALLENGE
YOU TO A DRUM BATTLE!

614
00:31:41,190 --> 00:31:43,484
I THOUGHT, THAT'S ADORABLE.

615
00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:48,406
I GET ANOTHER TEXT, ANOTHER
TEXT, ANOTHER TEXT FROM ALL MY

616
00:31:48,489 --> 00:31:51,159
FRIENDS SAYING, DUDE, YOU HAVE
TO STEP UP AND RESPOND.

617
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:52,660
YOU HAVE TO REPRESENT.

618
00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:53,995
DON'T BE A WIMP, DO THIS.

619
00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:57,832
I THOUGHT, I'LL PLAY SOMETHING
SIMPLE AND SEND IT TO HER.

620
00:31:57,915 --> 00:32:01,377
ONE DAY LATER SHE COMES BACK
WITH HER RESPONSE AND SHE WIPES

621
00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:02,003
THE FLOOR.

622
00:32:02,086 --> 00:32:03,338
SHE'S KICKING MY AS!

623
00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:06,674
THIS KID IS, LIKE, KICKING MY
BUTT AT THE DRUMS.

624
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:08,885
SO WE WENT BACK AND FORTH WITH
THIS DRUM BATTLE.

625
00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:13,139
IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE I --
SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO

626
00:32:13,222 --> 00:32:14,140
CONCEDE DEFEAT.

627
00:32:14,223 --> 00:32:17,352
AND HERE I WAS --
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP, I

628
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:18,519
THINK.

629
00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:20,063
WE HAVE A CLIP, I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU'RE PLAYING TOGETHER OR

630
00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:27,987
YOU'RE PLAYING OVER HER OR SHE
YOU, BUT WE HAVE THIS CLIP.

631
00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:32,617
JIM, HIT IT.

632
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:36,537
♪
♪

633
00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:39,540
♪
♪

634
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,209
>> Stephen: THAT IS BEAUTIFUL.

635
00:32:41,292 --> 00:32:43,544
YEAH, SHE SMOKED YOU.

636
00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,379
>> THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.

637
00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:46,547
>> Stephen: SHE SMOKED YOU.

638
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:49,884
IT WAS LIKE BEING CALLED OUT
BY THE SCHOOL BULLY, LIKE, I'LL

639
00:32:49,967 --> 00:32:53,096
SEE YOU ON THE PLAYGROUND AFTER
SCHOOL!

640
00:32:53,179 --> 00:32:59,894
AND EVERY TIME SHE WOULD SEND ME
A VIDEO, SHE WOULD PUT IT UP AND

641
00:32:59,977 --> 00:33:03,064
I WOULD THINK, OH, MY GOD I'M
GOING TO GET MY AS KICKED AGAIN.

642
00:33:03,147 --> 00:33:04,899
IT HAPPENED OVER AND OVER AND
OVER AGAIN.

643
00:33:04,982 --> 00:33:06,067
>> Stephen: YOU GUYS HAVE A
NW ALBUM.

644
00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:08,569
DO I HAVE IT HERE?

645
00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,238
I DO.

646
00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:16,411
"MEDICINE AT MIDNIGHT" COMES OUT
FEBRUARY 5, 2021.

647
00:33:16,494 --> 00:33:17,662
WAS THIS AFTER COVID?

648
00:33:17,745 --> 00:33:22,917
>> NO, WE STARTED OCTOBER 2019,
AND INSTEAD OF JUST BOOKING INTO

649
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:29,590
A STUDIO AND MAKING A RECORD
LIKE EVERY OTHER BAND DOES, IT

650
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:39,434
WAS LET'S MOVE INTO A HOUSE, WE
PUT THE DRUMS IN THE-BEDROOM AND

651
00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:42,937
WE STARTED RECORDING AND THEN WE
REALIZED THAT THE HOUSE WAS KIND

652
00:33:43,020 --> 00:33:44,105
OF HAUNTED.

653
00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:48,109
AT FIRST WE THOUGHT IT WAS JUST
A WEIRD VIBE AND THINGS WERE

654
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:53,281
KIND OF BEING TINKERED WITH WHEN
WE WEREN'T AROUND, BUT WE WOULD

655
00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:55,116
COME BACK IN THE MORNING AND
INSTRUMENTS WOULD BE TUNED AND

656
00:33:55,199 --> 00:34:00,246
WE WOULD HEAR THINGS ON THE PRO
TOOLS RECORDING SYSTEM THING AND

657
00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:04,417
LEVELS ON OUR MIXING BOARD WERE
CHANGED AND WE SET UP A BABY CAM

658
00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:08,629
TO SEE IF WE COULD SEE ANY
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.

659
00:34:08,713 --> 00:34:09,756
IT FREAKED US OUT, YOU KNOW.

660
00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:12,967
SO THE ALBUM IS NINE SONGS
BECAUSE WE JUST RECORDED NINE

661
00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:14,177
AND GOT THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

662
00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:15,178
WE WERE, LIKE, THAT'S ITCH.

663
00:34:15,261 --> 00:34:23,144
>> SIT.>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU
PLAYING TONIGHT?

664
00:34:23,227 --> 00:34:25,980
>> "SHAME SHAME."

665
00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:26,731
IT'S OUR FIRST SINGLE.

666
00:34:26,814 --> 00:34:28,357
>> Stephen: THE MAN THE DAVE
GROHL.

667
00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,610
STICK AROUND FOR A PERFORMANCE
BY FOO FIGHTERS.

668
00:34:30,693 --> 00:34:31,277
THANKS, DAVE.

669
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:32,987
>> GOOD TO SEE YA.

670
00:34:33,070 --> 00:34:33,988
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

671
00:34:34,071 --> 00:34:34,655
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU,
TOO.

672
00:35:01,224 --> 00:35:02,391
♪
>> WE KNOW THE PRESIDENT AND

673
00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:04,811
MELANIA THE FIRST LADY ARE GOING
TO CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING AT THE

674
00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:05,603
WHITE HOUSE.

675
00:35:05,686 --> 00:35:08,397
NORMALLY THEY GO DOWN TO
MAR-A-LAGO.

676
00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:10,191
THEY'RE GOING TO PARDON THE
TURKEY.

677
00:35:10,274 --> 00:35:13,236
WHY DID THEY DECIDE TO STAY IN
D.C. THIS YEAR?

678
00:35:13,319 --> 00:35:17,657
>> THE PRESIDENT IS HARD AT WORK
ON COVID AND OTHER ISSUES.

679
00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:19,492
( HONKING )
>> I HAVE AN ORDER FROM DONALD

680
00:35:19,575 --> 00:35:25,206
TRUMP FOR THREE TELEVISIONS,
CONGEALED GRAVY, A MOO MOO AND A

681
00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:26,374
DOLL FOR RUDY GIULIANI.

682
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:29,335
THE GUY SAID TO DELIVER ANYTIME
BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT HAS

683
00:35:29,418 --> 00:35:32,129
LITERALLY NOTHING GOING ON.

684
00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,558
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

685
00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:45,226
AND NOW, PERFORMING, "SHAME
SHAME," FROM THEIR FORTHCOMING

686
00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:52,608
ALBUM, "MEDICINE AT MIDNIGHT,"
FOO FIGHTERS!

687
00:35:52,692 --> 00:36:02,702
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO

688
00:36:02,785 --> 00:36:08,916
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO

689
00:36:16,340 --> 00:36:20,595
I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING
♪ REAL JUST TO BOTHER YOU

690
00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:24,223
NOW I GOT YOU
♪ UNDER MY THUMB LIKE A DRUG

691
00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:28,603
I WILL SMOTHER YOU
♪ I'LL BE THE ONE

692
00:36:28,686 --> 00:36:32,607
BE THE MOON, BE THE SUN
♪ BE THE RAIN IN YOUR SONG

693
00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:39,238
GO AND PUT THAT RECORD ON
♪ IF YOU WANT TO

694
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:42,158
I'LL BE THE ONE
♪ BE THE TONGUE THAT WILL

695
00:36:42,241 --> 00:36:48,205
SWALLOW YOU
♪ SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME

696
00:36:48,289 --> 00:37:00,301
SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME
♪ ANOTHER SPLINTER

697
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:04,388
UNDER THE SKIN
♪ ANOTHER SEASON OF LONELINESS

698
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:12,271
I FOUND A REASON
♪ AND BURIED IT

699
00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:24,283
BENEATH A MOUNTAIN OF EMPTINESS
♪ OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

700
00:37:24,367 --> 00:37:30,289
OH-OH, OH-OH
♪ OH, OH-OH-OH

701
00:37:30,373 --> 00:37:36,504
OH-OH, OH
SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME

702
00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:42,301
♪ WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN
JUST MOVE ALONG, NOTHING WRONG

703
00:37:42,385 --> 00:37:51,352
♪ 'TIL WE MEET AGAIN
I'LL BE THE END

704
00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:54,355
♪ I'LL BE THE WAR AT YOUR DOOR
COME AND LET ME IN

705
00:37:54,438 --> 00:38:00,361
♪ I'LL BE THE ONE
BE THE MOON, BE THE SUN

706
00:38:00,444 --> 00:38:04,740
♪ BE THE RAIN IN YOUR SONG
GO AND PUT THAT RECORD ON

707
00:38:04,824 --> 00:38:08,244
♪ IF YOU WANT TO
I'LL BE THE ONE

708
00:38:08,327 --> 00:38:11,831
♪ BE THE TONGUE THAT WILL
SWALLOW YOU

709
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:15,751
♪ ANOTHER SPLINTER
UNDER THE SKIN

710
00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:18,337
♪ ANOTHER SEASON OF LONELINESS
I FOUND A REASON

711
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:24,343
♪ AND BURIED IT
BENEATH A MOUNTAIN OF EMPTINESS

712
00:38:24,427 --> 00:38:32,727
♪ OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH
OH-OH, OH-OH

713
00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:42,361
♪ OH, OH-OH-OH
OH-OH, OH

714
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:52,455
♪ SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME
SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME

715
00:38:52,538 --> 00:38:59,920
♪ SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME
SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME

716
00:39:00,004 --> 00:39:03,758
♪ ANOTHER SPLINTER
UNDER THE SKIN

717
00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:06,427
♪ ANOTHER SEASON OF LONELINESS
I FOUND A REASON

718
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:12,433
♪ AND BURIED IT
BENEATH A MOUNTAIN OF EMPTINESS

719
00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:20,775
♪ OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH
OH-OH, OH-OH

720
00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:30,826
♪ OH, OH-OH-OH
OH-OH, OH

721
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:36,415
♪ OH, OH-OH-OH
OH-OH, OH

722
00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:46,467
♪ SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME
SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME ♪

723
00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:51,972
♪ SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME
SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME ♪

724
00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:54,475
>> Stephen: FOO FIGHTERS,
EVERYBODY!

725
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:54,600
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

726
00:40:06,904 --> 00:40:07,988
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S IT FOR
"A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.

727
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:10,116
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK WHEN I'LL BE
SITTING DOWN WITH PRESIDENT

728
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:10,658
BARACK OBAMA.

729
00:40:10,741 --> 00:40:12,785
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.

730
00:40:12,868 --> 00:40:12,910
GOOD NIGHT.

731
00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:16,622
Captioning sponsored by CBS
Captioned by

732
00:40:17,581 --> 00:40:24,839
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

733
00:40:24,922 --> 00:40:25,548
♪ ♪ ♪
Captioning sponsored by CBS