>> CINNABON IS SELLING ITS SIGNATURE CREAM CHEESE FROSTING
BY THE PINT.
THE TOPPING IS MOST RECOGNIZABLE FOR BEING DRIZZLED ON THE
CHAIN'S LINES OF CINNAMON ROLLS.
MMMM.
NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU CAN GET THE CINNABON FROSTING
SEPARATELY FOR $6 A PINT.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> ARE YOU DISTRESSED OVER THIS
PANDEMIC, WORN DOWN AFTER EIGHT MONTHS OF QUARANTINE AND
ISOLATION, AND ONLY A SECOND WAVE IN SIGHT?
WELL, THEN, IT'S TIME TO REACH FOR A PINT OF CINNABON FROSTING
BECAUSE FACE IT-- THAT'S WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW.
THE SAME FROSTING YOU HASTILY SHOVED INTO YOUR MOUTH WHILE
RUNNING THROUGH AN AIRPORT CAN NOW BE YOURS AT HOME IN A
GENEROUS TUB.
AFTER ALL, YOU MASTERED ALL THE OTHER QUARANTINE HOBBIES, LIKE
CAT PUZZLING, BAKING BREAD YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO EAT, AND
BINGING "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT."
BUT NOW, ALL THAT'S LEFT IS TO EAT A TUB OF FROSTING, BECAUSE
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, YOU MAKE LEMONADE.
BUT WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU A GLOBAL PANDEMIC THAT JUST WON'T END,
YOU EAT A BUCKET OF FROSTING.
MMMM!
WHAT PANDEMIC?
CINNABON FROSTING: GIVE UP.
UPON >> >> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES FORMULA ONE CHAMPION LEWIS
HAMILTON AND MUSICAL GUEST ANDREA BOCELLI
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HOMIN'.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
EVY IS HERE TONIGHT.
THAT'S ALWAYS A GOOD SHOW.
THAT'S ALWAYS A LOT OF FUN.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, 3450EU DARLING.
>> MY PLEASURE >> Stephen: IT'S TWO WEEKS TO
THE DAY SINCE THE ELECTION, AND I'M BEGINNING TO BREATHE EASIER.
IT'S LIKE I'VE HAD A WEIGHT ON MY CHEST.
DOCTORS SAY IT WAS 239 POUNDS, BUT IT FELT HEAVIER.
ANYWAY, I'M FEELING GOOD.
BUT DOWN IN D.C., THE PRESIDENT IS SLOWLY, AGONIZINGLY GOING
THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF NARCISSIST GRIEF: DENIAL,
DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL, AND DENIAL.
I KNOW THAT'S SIX, BUT RUDY IS DEMANDING A RECOUNT.
I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF MY
UNFORTUNATELY ONGOING SEGMENT: >> NA!
NA!
HEY! HEY!
I WON'T LEAVE!
>> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE."
TELL THEM WHAT THEY'VE WON!
>> Stephen: RATHER THAN FINALLY FACING REALITY, ACCORDING
TO ADVISERS, "THE PRESIDENT IS MORE DUG INTO HIS POSITION THAN
HE WAS AT THE BEGINNING."
THIS AFTERNOON WE LEARNED THIS.
>> APPARENTLY, THE PRESIDENT IS CONSIDERING CANCELLING HIS TRIP
TO MAR-A-LAGO.
>> Stephen: WELL, HISTORY IS FAMOUSLY KIND TO AUTOCRATS WHO
LOSE AND THEN RETREAT UNDERGROUND.
WHILE THE COMMANDER IN DOOF VOWS TO FIGHT ON, REPORTEDLY, "ALL OF
HIS PEOPLE ARE DESPONDENT."
WELCOME TO THE CLUB.
I DON'T BLAME THEM.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT'S GOING TO BE FOR THEM TO GET
A JOB?
OR A SPITLESS BURGER?
SO FAR, THE CAMPAIGN'S LEGAL CHALLENGES ARE NOT GOING WELL.
SINCE FRIDAY, CASES CHALLENGING THE ELECTION RESULTS HAVE BEEN
DROPPED IN ARIZONA, MICHIGAN, GEORGIA, WISCONSIN, AND
PENNSYLVANIA.
TO BE CLEAR, DROPPED.
THOSE ARE WITHDRAWN CASES.
THEY DIDN'T EVEN LOSE THEM.
THEY PRE-LOST THEM.
IT'S LIKE COMING IN LAST IN THE INDY 500 BECAUSE YOU DECIDED NOT
TO BUY A CAR.
( LAUGHTER ) MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE PRESIDENT
WAS FRUSTRATED THAT HIS CAMPAIGN LAWYERS WERE NOT APPEARING MORE
FREQUENTLY ON TELEVISION.
HE WANTS HIS CLAIMS OF ELECTION FRAUD TAKEN ALL THE WAY TO THE
HIGHEST COURT IN THE LAND: "HOT BENCH!"
TO RECTIFY THIS SITUATION, THE PRESIDENT HAS NAMED RUDY
GIULIANI TO HEAD THE LEGAL TEAM.
AS ONE CAMPAIGN OFFICIAL NOTED, "IT'S REALLY MORE OF A
PUBLIC-RELATIONS FIGHT NOW THAN A LEGAL ONE."
RUDY'S PERFECT FOR THIS JOB, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
PUBLIC RELATIONS, BUT HE'S AN OLD HAND AT PUBIC RELATIONS.
( LAUGHING ) RUDY'S ALREADY GETTING ALL
LEGAL.
IN FACT, TODAY HE APPEARED IN "THE CAMPAIGN'S FEDERAL CASE IN
PENNSYLVANIA."
OF COURSE, HE WASN'T THERE ALONE.
HE WAS ACCOMPANIED BY HIS LAW PARTNERS, ERNEST AND JULIO
GALLO.
THINGS HAVE GOTTEN CONTENTIOUS BEHIND THE SCENES.
AFTER THE CAMPAIGN DROPPED A LAWSUIT IN ARIZONA, ON
SPEAKERPHONE, RUDY CALLED THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN LAWYERS LIARS FOR
TELLING THE PRESIDENT HIS ODDS OF CHANGING THE OUTCOME OF THE
ELECTION WERE SLIM.
IN RESPONSE, ONE CAMPAIGN OFFICIAL CALLED RUDY A-- QUOTE--
"(BLEEP) ASS (BLEEP)."
AND THE WINNER FOR NICEST THING EVER SAID ABOUT RUDY GIULIANI
IS...
IT'S THAT.
( LAUGHING ) TURNS OUT, RUDY HAS TRIED TO
WRESTLE POWER AWAY FROM THE CURRENT LONGSTANDING CAMPAIGN
LEADERSHIP IN AN INTERNAL CAMPAIGN COUP.
WAIT, THEY ARE ATTEMPTING A COUP INSIDE THEIR COUP?
THAT IS COUP-COUP!
THAT JOKE SENT TO US BY LITTLE RICHIE DAHM, AGE EIGHT.
THANK YOU, RICHIE.
YOU'LL BE GETTING A COPY OF OUR HOME GAME.
( LAUGHTER ) AND NOW A REPORT SAYS GIULIANI'S
ASKING THE PRESIDENT'S CAMPAIGN TO COUGH UP $20,000 A DAY FOR
HIS LEGAL WORK.
BUT IT'S WORTH EVERY PENNY FOR EXPERT LEGAL ARGUMENTATION LIKE
THIS: >> AND THEN YOU START DOING
BALLOTS LIKE THIS-- DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH.
>> Stephen: DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH.
THAT'S EITHER HIM COUNTING BALLOTS OR TRYING TO COLD START
HIS HAND-CRANK PACEMAKER.
WITH THEIR LEGAL CASES FLOUNDERING, SOME REPUBLICANS
ARE ENCOURAGING OTHER CLEARLY UNDEMOCRATIC MEANS TO KEEP THE
PRESIDENT IN OFFICE, LIKE SOUTH CAROLINA SENATOR AND SURGEON
TRYING TO REMEMBER WHICH PATIENT HE LEFT THAT SCALPEL IN,
LINDSEY GRAHAM.
TURNS OUT, GEORGIA'S SECRETARY OF STATE BRAD RAFFENSPERGER SAYS
GRAHAM AND OTHER REPUBLICANS HAVE PRESSURED HIM TO TOSS LEGAL
BALLOTS.
WELL, THEY FINALLY FOUND SOME VOTER FRAUD!
AND IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK: IN THE MIRROR.
ACCORDING TO RAFFENSPERGER, SENATOR GRAHAM WAS CONCERNED
THAT HE WASN'T DISQUALIFYING ENOUGH OF GEORGIA'S MAIL-IN
BALLOTS BASED ON SIGNATURES THAT DON'T MATCH THE REGISTRATION, SO
GRAHAM HAD A SUGGESTION: >> SENATOR GRAHAM IMPLIED FOR US
TO AUDIT THE ENVELOPES AND THEN THROW OUT THE BALLOTS FOR
COUNTIES WHO HAD THE HIGHEST FREQUENCY ERROR OF SIGNATURES.
>> Stephen: SO, BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE HAVE SLOPPY SIGNATURES,
LINDSEY GRAHAM WANTS TO THROW OUT ALL OF THE VOTES FROM WHOLE
COUNTIES. THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "WELL, THIS DOOR HINGE IS
SQUEAKY, TH SIMPLEST THING IS TO JUST BURN THE HOUSE DOWN.
GRAHAM DENIED MAKING ANY UNCOMFORTABLE DEMANDS OF THE
SECRETARY.
>> I THINK THAT'S JUST RIDICULOUS.
IF HE FEELS THREATENED BY THAT CONVERSATION, HE'S GOT A
PROBLEM.
I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD CONVERSATION.
>> Stephen: IN OTHER WORDS, IT WAS:
>> AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT PHONE CALL.
>> Stephen: BUT IT'S NOT JUST GRAHAM.
RAFFENSPERGER ALSO SAID HE AND HIS WIFE, TRICIA, HAVE RECEIVED
DEATH THREATS IN RECENT DAYS.
OBVIOUSLY, THAT IS SAD AND HORRIFYING, BUT ACCORDING TO
RAFFENSPERGER, "IT'S ALSO VERY DISILLUSIONING, PARTICULARLY
WHEN IT COMES FROM PEOPLE ON MY SIDE OF THE AISLE."
YEAH, YOU EXPECT THREATS FROM THE OTHER SIDE, BUT IT HURTS SO
MUCH MORE WHEN IT COMES FROM THE HEAVILY-ARMED YAHOOS WHOSE
UNLIMITED GUN RIGHTS YOU'VE BEEN PROTECTING YOUR ENTIRE CAREER.
RAFFENSPERGER ACTUALLY SAVED HIS HARSHEST LANGUAGE FOR GEORGIA
REPRESENTATIVE DOUGLAS A.
COLLINS, WHO IS LEADING THE PRESIDENT'S EFFORTS IN GEORGIA
AND WHO RAFFENSPERGER HAS CALLED A "LIAR" AND A "CHARLATAN."
OOH, A CHARLATAN!
WATCH OUT, COLLINS!
SOON HE'LL CALL YOU A SCALLAWAG, A MOUNTEBANK, A CHISLER, A
LILYWHACKER, A RAPSCALLION, A GRUMBLETONIAN, A FLIMFLAMMER,
AND A SHIBAROON.
THEY'RE ALL IN HIS NEW BOOK: "50 POLITE WAYS TO CALL DOUG
COLLINS A DICK."
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A BESTSALER.
IT'S A BESTSELLER.
BUT SOME REPUBLICANS ARE STARTING TO FACE FACTS, LIKE
FLORIDA SENATOR AND VICE PRINCIPAL HOPING SOMEONE WILL
SHOW UP FOR ZOOM OFFICE HOURS, MARCO RUBIO.
RUBIO WAS ASKED ABOUT BIDEN'S POTENTIAL CHOICE FOR NATIONAL
INTELLIGENCE DIRECTOR, AND HE SAID THIS:
>> WELL, THAT WILL BE THE PRESIDENT-ELECT'S DECISION,
OBVIOUSLY.
>> YOU JUST SAID PRESIDENT-ELECT.
ARE YOU SAYING BIDEN IS THE PRESIDENT-ELECT NOW?
>> WELL, ULTIMATELY, THAT'S WHAT THE RESULTS, THE PRELIMINARY
RESULTS SEEM TO INDICATE.
>> Stephen: THAT IS SOME WEAK ACCEPTANCE OF THE INEVITABLE.
I'D HATE TO SEE THE G.O.P.
VERSION OF "ANNIE."
♪ THE SUN'LL COME OUT TOMORROW
♪ ULTIMATELY THE PRELIMINARY RESULTS SEEM TO INDICATE
♪ THERE'LL BE SUN JUST THINKIN' ABOUT,
TOMORROW ♪ THE MOON HAS THE LEGAL RIGHT
TOMORROW ♪ THE MOON HAS THE LEGAL RIGHT TO
PURSUE LEGAL CHALLENGES ♪ 'TIL ITS DONE
♪ IT'S A HARD FRAUD CASE TO BACK
♪ BUT WE GOTTA SMOOCH HIS CRACK ♪
( LAUGHTER ) I STARTED BOTH OF THOSE SLIGHTLY
HIGHER KEY THAN I'M COMFORTABLE WITH.
RUBIO-- YOU FELT THE EMOTION.
RUBIO ISN'T THE ONLY G.O.P.
OFFICIAL TAKING A BABY STEP TOWARD REALITY.
SO IS IDAHO SENATOR AND LATEST PUPPET CREATION FROM THE MIND OF
JEFF DUNHAM, JAMES RISCH.
RISCH ADMITTED TO REPORTERS THAT BIDEN WON, ADDING, "THIS IS MY
SECOND TRANSITION WHERE WE MOVE FROM ONE POLITICAL PARTY TO
ANOTHER IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
IT IS A CHANGE IN THE MUSIC THAT IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND.
WE GO FROM HEAVY METAL TO CLASSICAL MUSIC IN ONE FELL
SWOOP."
YES, GOOD-BYE TO THE PRESIDENT'S HEAVY METAL.
THE LAST SONG ON HIS SET LIST?
"ENTER BLANDMAN."
♪ ♪ ♪ WOOO-OOO!
YESTERDAY, A REPORTER ASKED JOE BIDEN ABOUT THE REAL-WORLD COST
OF THE PRESIDENT'S OBSTRUCTION, AND THE TRANSITION, AND THE
PRESIDENT-ELECT DID NOT MINCE WORDS:
>> WHAT DO YOU SEE AS THE BIGGEST THREAT TO YOUR
TRANSITION RIGHT NOW, GIVEN PRESIDENT TRUMP'S UNPRECEDENTED
ATTEMPT TO OBSTRUCT AND DELAY A SMOOTH TRANSFER OF POWER?
>> MORE PEOPLE MAY DIE IF WE DON'T COORDINATE.
>> Stephen: WE'RE DOOMED!
I MEAN, IS THIS A MAN WHO LOOKS COORDINATED?
BUT BIDEN WAS OPTIMISTIC: >> WE'RE MOVING ALONG KNOWING
WHAT THE OUTCOME WILL BE.
I FIND THIS MORE EMBARRASSING FOR THE COUNTRY THAN
DEBILITATING FOR MY ABILITY TO GET STARTED.
>> Stephen: OH, WE'RE WAY PAST EMBARRASSMENT, JOE.
AFTER A FULL TERM OF THIS PRESIDENT, WE COULD GET OUR
PERIOD IN GYM CLASS, ACCIDENTALLY CALL THE TEACHER
"MOM," TRIP IN THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF OUR CRUSH, AND STILL BE
LIKE, "YEAH, BETTER THAN THE LAST FOUR YEARS."
LET'S MOVE ON TO PERHAPS THE BIGGEST NEWS OF THE DAY: THE
ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE HAS ARRIVED IN NEW YORK
CITY!
OKAY, IT'S COOL, NBC.
YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR OWN NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED HOLIDAY
ICON.
MEANWHILE, NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT THE TIMES SQUARE CBS
CORNUCOPIA, EVEN THOUGH IT IS OVERFLOWING WITH FESTIVE
"60 MINUTES" CORRESPONDENTS!
HOWEVER, ONE CITY'S CHRISTMAS DECORATION DID NOT GO OFF
EXACTLY AS PLANNED, BECAUSE THE CHRISTMAS TREE IN CINCINNATI
WENT VIRAL FOR EMBODYING HOW WE FEEL IN 2020.
UH, OKAY, BUT I'M NOT SURE I BUY THAT.
CHRISTMAS TREES ARE CHEERFUL AND HAPPY!
HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY EMBODY HOW EVERYONE IS-- YEAH, OKAY.
YEAH, THAT'S ME.
THAT'S GOT THE FEELS.
THAT TREE LOOKS LIKE IT JUST WENT ON ITS LAST MARCH INTO
ISENGARD.
SO WHY DOES SAD TREE LOOK SAD?
WELL, OFFICIALS SAY MANY OF THE BRANCHES ARE STILL TIED WITH
TWINE.
OH, YEAH, IT'S THE TWINE.
CAN I START USING THAT EXCUSE, TOO?
I KNOW IT MAY LOOK LIKE I HAVEN'T EXERCISED SINCE MARCH,
BUT THAT'S JUST THE TWINE.
YOU UN-TWINE ME, AND I'M HARDER THAN A HEMSWORTH.
RIGHT, HONEY?
>> OH, ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY, THANK YOU.
AFTER THAT INITIAL PICTURE WENT VIRAL, CINCINNATI OFFICIALS KEPT
WORKING ON THE TREE AND RELEASED THIS AFTER-PHOTO:
AWWWW!
THAT SPRUCE GOT ALL SPRUCED UP!
SO IT STARTED OUT INCREDIBLY SAD AND PITIFUL, BUT SOMEHOW IN
EARLY NOVEMBER, IT TURNED THINGS AROUND AND RESTORED PEOPLE'S
HOPE?
THIS TREE REALLY DOES EMBODY 2020, ESPECIALLY IN JANUARY,
WHEN WE GET TO THROW THE WHOLE THING IN A WOODCHIPPER.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
FORMULA ONE CHAMPION LEWIS HAMILTON IS HERE.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"
JOIN US.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK!
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON.
>> Jon: YOU GOTTA HAVE A VISION, A VISION, A REVELATION.
>> Stephen: I'M HAVING A VISION, A REVELATION FOR MONDAY.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I GET TO DO MONDAY, JON?
>> OH, MY GOODNESS, I HEARD.
>> Stephen: I'M GOING DOWN TO WASHINGTON, D.C., TO INTERVIEW
THIS MAN-- MR. BARACK OBAMA-- ABOUT HIS NEW BOOK "A PROMISE
LAND."
I GOT SO MANY DECISIONS O MAKE.
OBVIOUSLY, WHAT DO YOU ASK HIM?
THAT'S A BIGGIE.
BUT WHAT DO I WEAR?
DO I WEAR A SUIT?
HE'S THE FORMER PRESIDENT.
DO I WEAR A SUIT?
EVY SAYS I WEAR A SUIT.
>> NO TIE.
>> Stephen: SUIT, NO TIE MARX SAYS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY.
>> Jon: I SAY SUIT, NO TIE, UNBUTTON THE TOP BUTTON.
CASUAL BUT FORMAL.
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT NO SHIRT, GO HARRY STYLES.
>> Jon: THAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO DO.
>> Stephen: ANYWAY, VERY EXCITED.
WOULD LOVE TO KNOW ANY QUESTIONS YOU WANT ME TO ASK HIM.
PLEASE, HIT ME, UP, OKAY.
>> Jon: ASK HIM ABOUT THAT JUMPER FROM THE CORNER?
YOU SEE HIM SINK THAT 3?
>> Stephen: I WILL, I WILL.
>> Jon: HOW MANY TAKES.
>> Stephen: I THINK THAT'S WHY BIDEN WON.
I THINK THAT WAS IT.
>> Jon: OH, SHOT HEARD AROUND THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: IT WAS MAGIC.
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC TO SET THE SCENE FOR REST OF THE SHOW, SIR?
>> Jon: LET'S SEE...
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
LAY IT ON.
>> FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME TRACKING THE
TEMPERATURE AND FLOWERING PATTERNS OF THE MAPLE TREE OF
TOPICAL STORIES SO THAT I CAN KNOW THE EXACT PEAK MOMENT TO
TAP IT WITH MY SPILE.
I CAREFULLY OBSERVE THE FLOW OF STORY SAP INTO THE BUCKET AND
THEN TRANSFER THE INITIAL RUN TO ANOTHER STORAGE UNIT USING
CHEESECLOTH TO FILTER OUT ANY FOREIGN MATERIAL.
I THEN DIG A SMALL OUTDOOR FIRE PIT AND BOIL THE STORIES UNTIL
THEY ARE GOLDEN IN COLOR, BRING THEM INSIDE FOR A SECOND BOIL,
WHICH I CAREFULLY MONITOR UNTIL IT REACHES 7 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT
PAST THE BOILING POINT OF WATER AT MY CURRENT ELEVATION.
THEN, THEN I REMOVE ANY SEDIMENT, FILTER IT ONE LAST
TIME, AND TRANSFER IT TO BLOWN GLASS BOTTLES TO CREATE THE
GRADE-A MAPLE NEWS SYRUP THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO JUST HEAD OUTSIDE WITH A FORK
AND SCRAPE SOME OF THE CRUSTED SAP OFF THE NEAREST PINE, MIX IT
WITH THE SODA AND BACKWASH LEFT IN A DENTED CAN OF FANTA ON THE
COUNTER, THEN DRIZZLE IT ON YESTERDAY'S PANCAKES TO CREATE
THE DRIFTER'S BREAKFAST TOPPING OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
"QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, AN ART
RESTORATION IN PALENCIA, SPAIN, HAS GONE TERRIBLY AWRY.
SEE THE LADY SMILING AT HER ANIMALS AND HARVEST FRUIT?
WELL, AFTER THE RESTORATION, SHE NOW LOOKS LIKE THIS:
WHAT'S SPANISH FOR "FRYING PAN FACE?"
IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SLAPPED A BUTTER SCULPTURE ON A HOT DAY.
THIS SEEMS TO BE A REAL PROBLEM IN SPAIN.
WE ALL REMEMBER THAT COUNTRY'S OTHER FAMOUSLY BOTCHED
RESTORATION JOB: POTATO JESUS.
WHAT EXACTLY IS THE VETTING PROCESS FOR ART RESTORERS IN
SPAIN?
"SORRY, ESTABAN, I'M AFRAID IT APPEARS YOU HAVE A MASTERS IN
FINE ART, BOTH YOUR HANDS AND EYES, AND YOU'VE SEEN THE
ORIGINAL PIECE.
THAT KIND OF THING MIGHT FLY IN FRANCE, BUT WE'VE DECIDED TO GO
WITH AN INSANE MACAQUE HOLDING A PAINTBRUSH IN ITS TAIL."
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN BAD NEWS NEWS, MULTIPLE PEOPLE HAVE
TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID-19 ON A CRUISE SHIP IN THE CARIBBEAN.
THAT HEADLINE AGAIN: "THING EVERYONE KNEW WOULD HAPPEN,
HAPPENS."
( LAUGHTER ) QUARANTINE-WHILE, VIDEO HAS GONE
VIRAL OF A HELICOPTER CARRYING A HEART FOR A TRANSPLANT PATIENT
THAT CRASHED ON THE ROOF OF AN L.A. HOSPITAL.
NO ONE WAS SERIOUSLY HURT, AND THE HEART WAS RECOVERED FROM THE
WRECKAGE AND HANDED OFF TO THIS DOCTOR, OKAY, WHO TREATED IT
WITH THE CARE AND CAUTION IT DESERVES-- THERE'S THE HANDOFF.
HE TRIPPED LIKE A CARTOON WAITER, SPILLING THE HEART ON
THE HELIPAD.
CALM DOWN!
EVERYONE'S FINE.
GOOD NEWS: THE TRANSPLANT WAS A SUCCESS--
>> IT WAS DIRTY.
>> Stephen: BUT IT WOULD BE FUN TO BE THAT PATIENT.
YOU'RE GETTING AHEAD OF MY PUNCH LINE.
( AS DOCTOR ) "YOUR PROCEDURE WENT GREAT,
THANKS TO YOUR CARDIOLOGIST, LARRY, AND HIS ATTENDINGS, MOE,
AND CURLY.
YOU MAY HAVE SOME DISCOMFORT IN YOUR CHEST, BUT THAT'S JUST THE
WET LEAVES AND HELICOPTER FUEL."
CAN'T ACTUALLY TALK.
YOU SAID ESSENTIALLY THE PUNCH LINE.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRITE IT.
( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, WE WERE ALL EXCITED ABOUT THE NEWS OF
MODERNA'S NEW VACCINE.
AND IT TURNS OUT "DOLLY PARTON PARTLY FUNDED MODERNA'S COVID
VACCINE RESEARCH."
WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THE VACCINE ( TO TUNE OF "9 TO 5" )
♪ WORKING 95 PERCENT OF THE TIME.
JOKE IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, THE TWITTER WORLD IS A-TWATTING OVER THE
NEWS THAT "TWITTER JUST INTRODUCED 'FLEETS,' 'FLEETING
TWEETS' THAT DISAPPEAR FOREVER AFTER 24 HOURS," THE PERFECT
OPTION FOR USERS WHO FEEL REMORSE ABOUT SOMETHING THEY
POSTED."
JUST WHAT TWITTER NEEDS: PEOPLE SAYING THINGS TOO AWFUL TO
REMAIN ON TWITTER.
NOW, IF YOU'RE NOT ENTHUSED ABOUT THE IDEA OF FLEETS, DON'T
WORRY, BECAUSE TWITTER SAYS ITS MAIN "GLOBAL TOWN SQUARE"
SERVICE REMAINS ITS MARQUEE PRODUCT.
REALLY?
I GOT TO SAY, TWITTER MAKES FOR A PRETTY CRAPPY TOWN SQUARE.
"HEAR YE!
HEAR YE!
( BELL RINGING ) TOASTER STRUDELS ARE BETTER THAN
POP TARTS.
AND ANYONE WHO DISAGREES IS A LIBERAL CUCK.
AND NOW, ENJOY A PICTURE OF MY BUTT."
( LAUGHTER ) THAT IS DAMN LOUD.
YOU CAN TALK ANY TIME YOU WANT DURING THIS.
I APOLOGIZE.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, CBS NEW YORK JUST BROKE THIS STORY RIGHT HERE
IN THE BIG APPLE.
>> ANOTHER ILLEGAL GATHERING IS BUSTED IN NEW YORK CITY.
THIS TIME, INVESTIGATORS SAY A SO-CALLED FIGHT CLUB WAS
OPERATING INSIDE OF A CROWDED BRONX WAREHOUSE.
>> Stephen: WELL, IT MAKES SENSE THAT THIS GOT OUT.
IT'S JUST LIKE TYLER DURDEN SAYS:
>> THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS:
TELL CBS NEWS ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: BUT THE FIGHTING
ISN'T EVEN WHAT WILL SHOCK YOU MOST ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON AT
FIGHT CLUB.
>> INVESTIGATORS SAY THEY FOUND TWO HANDGUNS, DRUGS, AND
UNLICENSED ALCOHOL.
THEY ALSO SAY VERY FEW PEOPLE WERE WEARING MASKS.
>> Stephen: PLEASE, EVERYONE.
THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, WEAR A MASK WHILE YOU SMASH YOUR FELLOW
MAN'S FACE INTO A PULPY MUSH.
IT'S JUST COURTESY.
ALSO, NO BRINGING NANA TO FIGHT CLUB.
SHE'S IN A VULNERABLE GROUP.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, I'D LIKE TO MOVE ON TO MY ULTRA-RARE
QUARANTINE-WHILE SUBSEGMENT: "NAUGHTY POPE NEWS."
( LAUGHTER ) TODAY'S NAUGHTY POPE NEWS: IT
APPEARS THE POPE JUST LIKED THIS PHOTO ON INSTAGRAM.
NOW, PEOPLE HAVE POINTED OUT THAT THE POPE DOES NOT
NECESSARILY CONTROL HIS OWN INSTAGRAM FEED, BUT FRANCIS
STILL OFFERED THIS COMPELLING EXPLANATION:
>> (translated): MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
REGARDING MY RECENT INSTAGRAM INCIDENT, I WANT TO ASSURE YOU
THAT I LIKE BIG BUTTS, AND I CANNOT LIE.
YOU OTHER BROTHERS-- BY WHICH I MEAN MONKS-- CAN'T DENY, WHEN A
GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY-BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR
FACE, YOU MUST EXAMINE YOUR CONSCIENCE.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A LOOK AT THE VICE
PRESIDENT-ELECT'S FASHION.
SORT OF.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS.
NOW THAT THE BIDEN-HARRIS ADMINISTRATION IS ON ITS WAY,
SOME IN THE MEDIA HAVE TURNED THEIR FOCUS TO SERIOUS QUESTIONS
LIKE, "WHAT ARE THEY WEARING?" WE'RE BARELY PAST THE ELECTION,
AND THE SARTORIAL THINK PIECES ARE ALREADY GETTING THUNKED,
LIKE "KAMALA HARRIS WILL CHANGE POWER DRESSING FOREVER."
"FROM PEARL NECKLACES TO HIGH-TOP SNEAKERS, SEE VICE
PRESIDENT-ELECT HARRIS' BOSS SENSE OF STYLE."
AND EVEN "THE WALL STREET JOURNAL" ASKS, "IS KAMALA
HARRIS'S FASHION HER SECRET WEAPON?"
COULD BE.
COULD ALSO BE HER SKILL AND EXPERIENCE.
I DON'T KNOW.
CHECK "THE WALL STREET JOURNAL," THEY NORMALLY DON'T WRITE
GARBAGE.
HERE TO DIVE DEEPER INTO OUR NEW OBSESSION WITH THE
VICE-PRESIDENTIAL FASHION, PLEASE WELCOME ONE OF MY
WRITERS, AND FASHION EXPERT, MICHAEL CRUZ KAYNE.
>> HI, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: HI, MICHAEL.
>> STEPHEN, AS YOU KNOW, KAMALA HARRIS BRINGS A LOT OF FIRSTS TO
THE WHITE HOUSE: SHE'S A WOMAN, SHE'S BLACK, SHE'S SOUTH ASIAN,
BUT MOST OF ALL-- AND I HOPE PEOPLE DON'T MIND IF I
OBJECTIFY-- SHE'S GOT THE WHITE HOUSE'S FIRST HOT JEWISH
HUSBAND, DOUG EMHOFF.
AND WHEN I SAY "HUSBAND," I MEAN HUBBA-HUBBA HUSBAND.
HIS FASHION CHOICES ARE SETTING THE INTERNET ON ABSOLUTE FIRE.
PEOPLE DIG DOUG.
>> Stephen: OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE TALKING
ABOUT HER FASHION.
>> UGH.
NO!
WHAT AM I GOING TO TALK ABOUT, HER GLORIOUS SUITS, THE WAY SHE
ALIGHTS FROM A PLANE WEARING CONVERSE LIKE A BUSINESS CASUAL
ANGEL?
YAWN!
STEPHEN, AREN'T WE A LITTLE BORED OF EVERY FASHION SEGMENT
BEING ABOUT WOMEN?
IT'S 2020.
IT'S TIME TO OBJECTIFY THE MEN!
I'LL TAKE TWO SCOOPS OF DOUG, AND HOLD THE SPRINKLES, BECAUSE
I WANT TO REALLY TASTE THE DOUG.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THAT'S COOL, I
GUESS.
SO, WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON HIS FASHION?
>> I MEAN, HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE?
>> Stephen: NOT MUCH.
>> FIRST OF ALL, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS TASTEFUL MUTED BLUE SUIT,
AND THIS ELEGANT MUTED BLUE SUIT.
AND, FOLKS, MAKE SURE YOUR DOG'S ON A LEASH BEFORE I SHOW YOU
THIS ONE.
HERE'S HIM ROCKING AN ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPTIOUS MUTED BLUE SUIT.
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHEN WE FINALLY GET BACK IN THE THEATER, MAYBE I SHOULD TRY A
MUTED BLUE SUIT.
>> OH, STEPHEN, STEVE, STEVIE, MY MAN, YOU COULD NEVER PULL
THIS OFF.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE PHYSIQUE.
AS A JEW MYSELF, I KNOW THAT BODY, AND IT'S BUILT BY A STRICT
REGIMEN OF PASTRAMI AND VERY SLOWLY SWIMMING LAPS AT A
COMMUNITY POOL.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WELL, DOES DOUG
EMHOFF HAVE ANY OTHER LOOKS?
>> OH, YEAH, HE DOES.
AND, PARENTS, TAKE YOUR KIDS OUT OF THE ROOM FOR THIS ONE.
I CALL THIS LOOK "OOPSIES, LOOKS LIKE ZADDY FORGOT HIS TIE."
ALL BUTTONED UP, HE'S THE VICE PRESIDENT'S HUSBAND, BUT ONE
BUTTON UNDONE, AND HE'S "MR.
EMHOFF, IF YOU'RE NASTY."
ALSO, NOTE THE DARING TOUCH OF A MUTED BLUE SUIT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: LOOK, HE SEEMS LIKE
A NICE FELLA, REALLY SUPPORTIVE OF HIS WIFE, BUT IS THERE REALLY
THIS MUCH ENTHUSIASM FOR DOUG EMHOFF'S FASHION?
>> STEPHEN, THIS IS AN HISTORICAL FIRST.
THE FASHION WORLD HAS BEEN WAITING FOR FOR CENTURIES.
THE DOUG-BUGS AND THE EMHOFF-HEADS ARE GOING NUTS.
SURE, WE'VE HAD OTHER VICE-PRESIDENTIAL SPOUSES.
WHAT FOOL COULD FORGET THE DAZZLING JOAN MONDALE OR THE
INCANDESCENT LETITIA STEVENSON?
BUT NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME, WE HAVE A MAN WHO IS THE PERSON YOU
WON'T HEAR ABOUT WHO IS MARRIED TO THE PERSON WHO IS LARGELY
POWERLESS IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND, STEPHEN, THERE'S A WORD FOR THAT IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT?
>> ENGLISH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NO, WHAT IS THE
WORD?
>> IT'S PROGRESS, STEPHEN.
IT'S PROGRESS... STEPHEN.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU WERE SAYING?
>> Stephen: THAT WAS ON ME.
THAT WAS ON ME.
MICHAEL CRUZ KAYNE EVERYONE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH FORMULA ONE CHAMPION LEWIS HAMILTON.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A FORMULA ONE DRIVER WHO JUST BECAME A
SEVEN-TIME WORLD CHAMPION, TYING THE RECORD HELD BY MICHAEL
SCHUMACHER.
>> HE FIND HIMSELF ALONGSIDE MICHAEL SCHUMACHER AS TOP IN THE
RECORD BOOKS, THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP RECORD, LEWIS
HAMILTON WINS THE TURKISH GRAND PRIX.
>> FOR ALL THE KIDS OUT THERE WHO DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE, YOU
CAN DO IT, TOO, MAN.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYONE, FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," LEWIS HAMILTON!
LEWIS, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME.
I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT FORMULA ONE, BUT I AM ALL
SWEPT UP IN YOUR EMOTIONS THERE AT THE END OF THIS RACE.
TELL ME WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD AT THAT MOMENT THAT WE
SAW ON TAPE JUST NOW?
>> WELL, STEPHEN, I'VE BEEN RACING FOR 27 YEARS.
I STARTED WHEN I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD.
THE DREAM WAS TO GET TO FORMULA ONE, AND I GREW UP WATCHING
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER WIN ALL OF THOSE RACES AND THOSE TITLES AND
I'M FINALLY THERE.
THE LAST THREE LAPS, I KNEW THAT I WAS COMING INTO THE WEAK END,
AND IF I HAD WON THE RACE, I WOULD BE WORLD CHAMPION.
BUT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG SO, YOU KNOW,
YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY AND STAY FOCUSED, NOT DROP BULL, AND I
THINK AS I WAS GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER THOSE LAST THREE
LAPS, REALIZING THAT IT MAY JUST BE A REALITY THAT IT'S REALLY
GOING TO HAPPEN.
I THINK JUST ALL THE EMOTIONS FROM, YOU KNOW, ALL THOSE YEARS
OF MY DAD WORKING AT ONE TIME THREE, FOUR JOBS JUST TO KEEP ME
RACING AND TRULY BELIEVING IN ME.
I THINK ALL THOSE CAME THROUGH.
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE CRIED IN THE CAR, SO IT WAS REALLY
EMOTIONAL.
>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT KEEPING THAT CAR ON THE GROUND
IN THIS RACE.
THE RACETRACK IN ISTANBUL WAS SO SLICK, THE DRIVERS WERE SLIPPING
DURING PRACTICE WHEN THE WEATHER WAS FINE.
BUT THEN THERE WAS RAIN OVER THE WEEKEND.
WHAT WERE THOSE CONDITIONS LIKE FOR YOU.
I MEAN, FOR THE PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND THIS SPORT, PEOPLE
ARE MARVELING AT A LEVEL THAT I WANT TO BE ABLE TO APPRECIATE.
EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THOSE CONDITIONS WERE LIKE.
>> YES, SO THEY-- WE HADN'T BEEN TO THIS TRACK FOR MAYBE 10
YEARS-- YEAH, NINE YEARS.
SO THEY RESURFACED THE CIRCUIT, SO IT WAS NEW TARMAC THAT YOU
WOULD HAVE ON A HIGHWAY.
BUT THERE'S BASICALLY, I DON'T KNOW WHY IT WAS SO DIRTY.
AND USUALLY, LIKE, OVER THE WEEKEND IT GETS MORE AND MORE
RUBBER FROM THE TIRES AND IT GETS BETTER AND BETTER, BUT IT
WASN'T HAPPENING.
>> Stephen: MAYBE THEY WERE RESURFACING IT WITH TEFLON.
>> MAYBE IT WAS A CHEAP JOB.
I DON'T KNOW.
AND THEN IT RAINED.
AND WHEN IT RAINS, IT'S USUALLY THE HARDEST CONDITIONS TO RACE
IN, IN GENERAL.
BUT AT THIS TRACK TIFS LIKE ICE.
I DON'T THINK ANY OF US DRIVERS HAVE EXPERIENCED THAT,
ESPECIALLY IN MY FORMULA ONE YAR.
THE ATTENTION TO DETAIL, THE FOCUS YOU NEEDED TO HAVE WAS SO
INTENSE.
I SLEPT MOST OF TODAY JUST TRYING TO RECOVER BECAUSE NOT
ONLY DO YOU LOSE, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF ENERGY ON THE MENTAL
SIDE, YOU CAN LOSE UP TO 10 POUNDS IN THE RACE.
THIS ONE WAS COLD, SO I ONLY LOST, LIKE, FIVE POUNDS.
>> Stephen: JUST IN SWEAT?
OR OTHER FLUIDS?
>> ( LAUGHS )
SWEAT.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I THINK I WOULD LOSE SOME WEIGHT DAMN
QUICK IF I TOOK A CORNARTY 150 MILES AN HOUR.
>> DEFINITELY, PUT ANOTHER WAY.
>> Stephen: YOU SAID YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 27 YEARS.
YOU'VE DREAMED OF DOING FORMULA ONE WHEN YOU WERE JUST A KID.
WE HAVE A CLIP HERE I WANT TO SHOW THE AUDIENCE.
THIS IS-- DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD ARE YOU IN THIS CLIP?
YOU WERE BEING INTERVIEWED BECAUSE YOU WERE CART RACING AT
THE TIME.
>> I THINK I WAS 10 OR 11.
>> WE WENT TO BELGIUM, AND THE SPEED THEY WERE DOING.
IT WAS AMAZING, BECAUSE YOU DONT ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT WHEN
YOU'RE WATCHING THE TV.
AND MY CART FEELS REALLY POWERFUL WHEN I'M IN IT.
BUT IMAGINE BEING IN A FORMULA ONE CAR.
IT MUST BE VERY POWERFUL.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU SEE
THAT FOOTAGE?
>> I-- I IMAGINE IT'S THE SAME FOR ANYONE WATCHING BACK WHEN
THEY WERE A KID.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
>> Stephen: NO, NOT AT ALL!
YOU SEEM PRETTY SELF-POSSESSED AS A 10-YEAR-OLD.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL THAT 10-YEAR-OLD KID NOW, THAT
SEVEN-TIME WORLD CHAMPION?
>> I THINK IT WOULD BE JUST TO NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF AND
CONTINUE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF ALWAYS.
AND, YOU KNOW, ULTIMATELY, I'M HUMAN, AND LIKE ALL OF US, WE
HAVE OUR UPS AND DOWNS.
AD, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE CONSTANTLY BATTLING THE MIND IN TRYING TO--
IN TRYING TO ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE.
AND THERE ARE DAYS WHERE IT FEELS LIKE IT MIGHT NOT WORK.
IT FEELS-- YOU KNOW, THOSE STAGES THROUGH MY CAREER THAT I
DIDN'T THINK-- THERE WERE DAYS I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOOD ENOUGH.
I WASN'T GOING TO MAKE IT.
AND I WOULD GO OUT FOR A LONG RUN, GET BACK IN THE CAR, GET
BACK ON THE HORSE AND KEEP PUSHING AND NEVER GIVE UP.
AND, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS SOMETHING MY DAD INSTILLED IN
ME, I THINK, AS A KID.
>> Stephen: AND IT HAS BEEN CHALLENGING AT TIMES.
YOU'RE THE FIRST BLACK DRIVER IN THE 70-YEAR HISTORY OF FORMULA
ONE.
AND PEOPLE WERE NOT ALWAYS WELCOMING TO YOU.
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: AND YOU'VE RAISED AWARENESS OF BLACK LIVES MATTER.
YOU'VE ADVOCATED FOR INCLUSIVITY.
YOU SET UP SOMETHING CALLED "THE HAMILTON COMMISSION."
WHAT IS THAT?
>> YEAH, SO, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIE
CAN THE COOL RAINS" ALWAYS -- >> Stephen: WHICH ONE?
>> "COOL RUNNINGS."
>> Stephen: YES, I WAS.
>> WHEN THEY ARRIVE AT THE TOP OF THE HILL, ALL THE BOBSLEDDERS
STAY COMPLETELY SILENT AND THEY WONDER WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE DOING THERE.
AND IT WAS THE SAME FOR ME AND MY DAD WHEN WE ARRIVED FOR THE
FIRST TIME AT THE GO-CART TRACK.
THE GO-CART WAS FIFTH HAND.
AND WE ARRIVED SCRUFFY, AND PEOPLE WERE LIKE, WHAT, ARE
THESE GUYS DOING HERE?" WE WERE THE ONLY BLACK PEOPLE
THERE.
OF COURSE WE WERE NOT ALWAYS WELCOME BUT MY DAD AS YOU SAID,
"DO YOUR TALKING ON THE TRACK."
THAT'S WHAT WE DID.
WE KEPT OUR HEADS DOWN AND DID WHAT WE LOVED.
AND I MEAN-- AND THEN, YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT-- FORMULA ONE, THERE
WAS AN IDEA OF WHAT A FORMULA ONE DRIVER WOULD LOOK LIKE AND
HOW THEY SHOULD BEHAVE AND WHAT THEY SHOULD BE LIKE.
AND I NEVER REALLY FELT COMFORTABLE CONFORMING TO HOW
PEOPLE WOULD EXPECT.
BUT WHEN I GOT TO FORMULA ONE, I THOUGHT JUST US BEING THERE
WOULD HELP SHIFT AND BREAK DOWN BARRIERS AND HELP MAKE THE SPORT
MORE DIVERSE.
BUT I REALIZED AFTER 14 YEARS, LOOKING AT THE LAYOUT OF OUR
SPORT, IT IS STILL NOT DIVERSE.
IT IS STILL A MALE, WHITE-DOMINATED SPORT.
AND I WOULD ASK MY TEEM TEAM, "WHY AM I ONE OF THE ONLY
PEOPLE, OUT OF 2,000 PEOPLE IN MY TEAM, WHY AM I ONE OF ONLY A
HANDFUL OF MINORITIES?" AND I PUT TOGETHER THE HAMILTON
COMMISSION TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT BARRIERS ARE AND WHAT THE
ROOT OF THE CAUSE IS, AND THROUGH THOSE FINDINGS FIND A
WAY TO HELP ENCOURAGE YOUNG BLACK KIDS GETTING INTO STEM
ROLES, INTO ENGINEERING IN THIS INDUSTRY.
AND I HOPE THAT-- YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT PEOPLE IN THE
COMMISSION THAT ARE IN POLITICS ON THE GROUND, THAT CAN REALLY
CHANGE THE LEGISLATION, RULES, AND PUSH ON THE GROUND IN
COMMUNITIES TO HELP ENCOURAGE THESE KIDS.
>> Stephen: I WANT TO-- WE HAVE TO GO IN A MOMENT, BUT I
WANT TO ASK YOU ONE LAST QUESTION.
I'M CURIOUS, WHENEVER I MEET SOMEONE WHO IS AT THE TOP OF
THEIR GAME, IN WHATEVER THE SPORT SI'VE ASKED THIS QUESTION:
IS THERE A MOVIE ABOUT YOUR SPORT THAT GET IT RIGHT?
LIKE "FORD VERSUS FERRARI," "TALLADEGA NIGHTS?"
>> I'M A BIG FAN OF "TALLADEGA NIGHTS," PERSONALLY.
WHEN HE'S ON FIRE.
I LOVE THAT.
I DON'T KNOW, I THINK THE RACING MOVIES ARE ALWAYS REALLY
DIFFICULT.
I THINK THEY'RE VERY, VERY TRICKY FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND,
I GUESS.
I GUESS IT'S A HARD SPORT FOR PEOPLE TO RELATE TO.
BUT THE "FORD VERSUS FERRARI" I THINK THEY DID SUCH A GREAT JOB.
THERE ARE TWO GREAT INCREDIBLE ACTORS.
I LOVE THAT.
IT ALMOST ENCOURAGED ME TO GO AND DRIVE SOME OF THOSE CARS.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE SEVEN WORLD TITLES NOW.
YOUR CONTRACT WITH MERCEDES IS UP THIS YEAR.
WHAT'S NEXT?
>> I'VE GOT TO GET A NEW CONTRACT.
NO, I BET -- >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE TO
BE SPONSORED BY A CBS TALK SHOW?
>> UH...
I'M INTERESTED.
I'VE GOT SPACE.
>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.
( LAUGHTER ) MY FACE ON YOUR HOOD.
I'D BE HAPPY WITH THAT.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> THEY SELL THESE VISORS SO, I'M OPEN.
>> Stephen: SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
THANKS FOR BEING HERE, LEWIS.
>> STEPHEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SEE HIS NEXT RACE ON NOVEMBER 29 ON ESPN.
LEWIS HAMILTON, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY ANDREA BOCELLI.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> THERE'S A SNEAKING SUSPICION,
ME AND A LOT OF AMERICANS, THAT JOE BIDEN WAS INSTALLED SOMEHOW,
SOME WAY.
AND I CAN'T PROVE THIS ALLEGATION, BUT IT'S A GUT
FEELING.
BUT THAT'S WHY YOU DO THESE KIND OF INVESTIGATIONS.
DO YOU KIND OF HAVE THAT FEELING, TOO?
>> I ALSO HAVE THAT FEELING, TOO.
YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THERE WAS A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, AND ONE
OF THE CANDIDATES WON?
SOMETHING'S NOT ADDING UP.
AS FOR WHAT.
THAT'S WHAT I INTEND TO FIND OUT.
STICK AROUND FOR MORE HUGE DUMB-ASS DETECTIVE.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
PERFORMING "I BELIEVE" FROM HIS NEW ALBUM, "BELIEVE," ANDREA
BOCELLI.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ONE DAY I'LL HEAR THE LAUGH OF CHILDREN
♪ IN A WORLD WHERE WAR HAS BEEN BANNED
♪ ONE DAY I'LL SEE ♪ OPEN YOU HEART
TO THOSE WHO NEED YOU ♪ IN THE NAME OF
LOVE AND DEVOTION ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ YES I BELIEVE I BELIEVE IN THE PEOPLE
♪ OF ALL NATIONS TO JOIN AND CARE
♪ FOR LOVE I BELIEVE IN A WORLD
♪ WHERE LIGHT WILL GUIDE US AND GIVING OUR LOVE
♪ WE'LL MAKE HEAVEN ON EARTH ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
I BELIEVE IN THE PEOPLE
♪ OF ALL NATIONS TO JOIN AND CARE
♪ FOR LOVE I BELIEVE IN A WORLD
♪ WHERE LIGHT WILL GUIDE US AND GIVING OUR LOVE
♪ WE'LL MAKE HEAVEN ON EARTH ♪ ♪ YES I BELIEVE
I BELIEVE IN THE PEOPLE ♪ OF ALL NATIONS
TO JOIN AND CARE ♪ FOR LOVE
I BELIEVE IN A WORLD ♪ WHERE LIGHT WILL GUIDE US
AND GIVING OUR LOVE ♪ WE'LL MAKE HEAVEN ON EARTH
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I BELIEVE ♪ >> Stephen: ANDREA BOCELLI,
EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY AND
CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
Captioning sponsored by CBS Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org