>> THEY WERE A TYPICAL AMERICAN
FAMILY.
THEY VOTED IN THE ELECTION AND WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO A
PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF POWER.
BUT THEN -- >> THERE'S TREMENDOUS LITIGATION
GOING ON, AND THIS IS A CASE WHERE THEY'RE TRYING TO STEAL AN
ELECTION.
>> HE WOULDN'T LEAVE.
'S STILL HERE!
NOW THEY'RE HAUNTED BY A BLOATED PRESENCE WHO REFUSES TO
ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE LOST.
>> FRANKLY, WE DID WIN THIS ELECTION.
>> HE'S BEHAVING IN A WAY ONLY A CHILD COULD UNDERSTAND.
>> AND HE'S SURROUNDED HIMSELF WITH SPECTRAL ENABLERS.
>> WHAT'S HAPPENING?!
A BABY!
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
TONIGHT, POTUS CAN'T COPUS.
PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES MICHAEL MOORE AND MUSICAL GUEST SARA
BAREILLES, WITH A SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY STEVE CARELL,
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HOMIN."
AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING
IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME TO -- "A LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE, AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU, MY FRIENDS, FOR
THIS SPECIAL NIGHT, BECAUSE BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THIS IS OUR
THOUSANDTH EPISODE -- 1,000!
I WISH I COULD BE TOGETHER WITH THE WHOLE STAFF RIGHT NOW.
THEY'VE DONE SUCH AN EXTRAORDINARY JOB.
THE WRITERS, STAFF, EDITORS, PRODUCERS, POST-PRODUCTION, THE
AMAZING CREW, MY EDITORIAL STAFF, THE LAWYERS -- OH, THE
LAWYERS!
WE PLANNED A BIG BALLOON DROP, WHICH I ASSUME IS HAPPENING NOW
IN THE THEATER?
IT'S HAPPENING.
I DON'T KNOW, YOU COULD LIE TO ME, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT ALLOWED
IN.
SOMEONE SHOULD REALLY CHECK ON MY PETTING ZOO DOWN THERE.
I HAVEN'T FED THE ANIMALS IN ABOUT EIGHT MONTHS.
I'M A BIG STAR.
I HAVE A PETTING ZOO.
OF COURSE, WHILE WE'RE CELEBRATING 1,000, WE WON'T KNOW
THE REAL NUMBER OF SHOWS TILL THEY'VE DONE THE COMPLETE HAND
RECOUNT IN GEORGIA.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, WE'RE ON DAY SIX OF THE CURRENT PRESIDENT NOT
ADMITTING HE'S THE SOON TO BE EX PRESIDENT.
I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE DEETS IN MY LATEST INSTALLMENT OF --
>> I'M A DICK DICK DICK DICK TATER.
>> THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE!
>> Stephen: THOSE ARE THE ACTUAL LYRICS TO THE SONG.
HERE'S SOME INTERESTING FACT-U-TAINMENT: NO MATTER HOW
MUCH HE SCREAMS ABOUT IT, NO ONE BELIEVES THE PRESIDENT'S CLAIMS
OF VICTORY.
NOT EVEN THE PRESIDENT.
BECAUSE AIDES SAY HE HAS NO REAL PLAN TO OVERTURN THE RESULTS.
SAME WAY HE DEFEATED COVID.
IN FACT, THE PRESIDENT IS SO SURE HE LOST THAT HE IS TALKING
PRIVATELY ABOUT RUNNING AGAIN IN 2024.
WHAAA?
HE IS GOING TO BE SO OLD BY THEN!
FORGET DESCENDING AN ESCALATOR.
HE'LL HAVE TO MAKE HIS ANNOUNCEMENT FROM A STAIRCASE
CHAIR LIFT.
I MEAN, THE GUY IS 74 NOW.
BY 2024, HE'LL BE 78!
WHICH IS-- EXACTLY...
THE RIGHT AGE FOR A PRESIDENT.
IT'S JUST A NUMBER, JOE!
YOU GO GET 'EM, BUDDY!
DRINK THAT ENSURE!
ARE THEY A SPONSOR?
THEY'VET GOT TO BE.
IT'S CBS.
YOU KIDDING?
IT'S ALL WALK-IN BATHTUBS AROUND HERE.
RIGHT?
( LAUGHTER ) ACCORDING TO A REUTERS
IPSOS-FACTOS POST-ELECTION POLL, NEARLY 80% OF AMERICANS
RECOGNIZE BIDEN AS THE WINNER.
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET 80% OF AMERICANS TO AGREE ON
ANYTHING THAT ISN'T SMOTHERED IN MELTED CHEESE?
EVEN WORSE FOR THE PRESIDENT, AND BETTER FOR DEMOCRACY, ONLY
3% SAID HE WON, COMPARED TO 5% WHO SAY THEY DO NOT KNOW WHO
WON.
SO IT'S OFFICIAL: PRESIDENT DOOFUS TROOFUS HAS JUST SLIGHTLY
LESS SUPPORT THAN "I DUNNO."
3% BELIEVE HE WON.
WHAT'S THE MARGIN OF ERROR FOR THAT POLL?
>> 5%.
>> Stephen: IT IS POSSIBLE ONLY NEGATIVE 2% OF AMERICANS
BELIEVE HE WON.
OF COURSE, THAT NEGATIVE 2 WOULD BE ERIC AND DONALD.
APPARENTLY, JOE BIDEN HAS YET TO RECEIVE A PRESIDENTIAL DAILY
BRIEFING, AND IT'S UNCLEAR WHETHER HIS TEAM WILL HAVE
ACCESS TO CLASSIFIED INFORMATION.
WELL, SURE, IF BIDEN WANTS ACCESS TO CLASSIFIED NATIONAL
SECURITY INTEL, HE'S GOT TO GO THROUGH THE PROPER CHANNELS AND
BUY A MEMBERSHIP AT MAR-A-LAGO.
BUT IT GETS DUMBER.
THE STATE DEPARTMENT IS PREVENTING BIDEN FROM ACCESSING
MESSAGES FROM FOREIGN LEADERS, SO MANY OF THEM HAVE REACHED OUT
TO FORMER OBAMA-ERA DIPLOMATS FOR THEIR ASSISTANCE ON HOW TO
SEND CONGRATULATORY MESSAGES TO BIDEN'S TEAM.
THEY SOUND DESPERATE.
IN FACT, THE PRESIDENT OF IRAQ HAD TO RESORT TO EDIBLE
ARRANGEMENT.
BUT OF ALL THE INTRANSIGENT PEOPLE IN THE WHITE HOUSE, THE
INTRANSIGENT-EST MIGHT BE NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER AND
MAN WHO SHOPS AT THE SUNGLASS PUTZ, ROBERT O'BRIEN.
O'BRIEN HAS TOLD HIS STAFF, "DON'T EVEN MENTION BIDEN'S
NAME."
OH, SO THE PRESIDENT-ELECT IS HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED?
HE'S LORD OLD-EMORT!
STILL SEEMS NICE.
HE STILL SEEMS NICE.
SEEMS LIKE NO ONE AROUND THE PRESIDENT HAS THE NERVE TO TELL
HIM HE LOST.
ONE G.O.P. SOURCE SAID, "IT'S LIKE DEALING WITH A LUNATIC ON
THE SUBWAY.
EVERYONE JUST KIND OF SITS AND STARES AHEAD, PRETENDS THEY
CAN'T HEAR HIM, AND WAITS FOR HIM TO EVENTUALLY GET OFF."
I'VE GOT BAD NEWS: JUST BECAUSE A LUNATIC ON THE SUBWAY GETS OFF
DOESN'T MEAN HE'LL LEAVE THE TRAIN.
WE CUT THE MUSIC ON THAT ONE.
OKAY.
DESPITE CLINGING TO THE JOB DESPERATELY, HE'S NOT ACTUALLY
DOING IT.
THE LAST INTELLIGENCE BRIEFING ON THE PRESIDENT'S SCHEDULE WAS
FOR OCTOBER 2.
HE REALLY SHOULD TAKE THE BRIEFINGS BECAUSE I'M
SURE THEY'RE FULL OF VALUABLE INFORMATION.
FOR INSTANCE, HE MIGHT FIND OUT THAT THE U.S. ELECTED A NEW
PRESIDENT.
WHAT HAS THE PRESIDENT BEEN DOING WITH HIS TIME INSTEAD?
WELL, HE HAS BEEN WATCHING EVEN MORE TV THAN USUAL IN RECENT
WEEKS.
MORE?
HOW?
DID HE MOVE THE RESOLUTE DESK TO A BEST BUY?
THE PRESIDENT'S ALLERGY TO REALITY IS HITTING EPIC NEW
HEIGHTS, BECAUSE "THE WHITE HOUSE IS STILL TELLING FEDERAL
AGENCIES TO PROCEED WITH PLANS FOR HIS FEBRUARY BUDGET."
NOW THAT IS SOME INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH DENIAL.
AT A CERTAIN POINT, EVEN NORMAN BATES WAS LIKE "I'M STARTING TO
THINK MY MOM'S NOT DOING GREAT."
IF THE PRESIDENT'S BEHAVIOR SEEMS FAMILIAR, THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU'VE SEEN IT IN A FAILED STATE NEAR YOU.
REFUSING TO ACCEPT THE RESULTS OF A FREE AND FAIR ELECTION ARE
"ANTI-DEMOCRATIC TACTICS EMPLOYED BY LEADERS LIKE ROBERT
MUGABE, NICOLAÁS MADURO, AND SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC."
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'VE GOT OUR OWN HOMEGROWN SLOB-O-DON
MY-PILLOW'S-(BLEEP).
AROUND THE WORLD, AUTOCRATS ARE WATCHING.
ONE EXPERT ON EASTERN EUROPE TOLD REPORTERS, "THE PRESIDENT'S
REFUSAL TO CONCEDE WOULD 'CREATE A NEW MODEL' FOR LIKE-MINDED
POPULISTS IN EUROPE."
WELL, THAT'S CONVENIENT TIMING.
BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S GOING TO START LOOKING FOR A NEW
MODEL FROM EASTERN EUROPE.
THE PRESIDENT MIGHT NOT HAVE A PLAN, BUT HE'S STILL ASKING
SUPPORTERS TO DONATE TO HIS OFFICIAL ELECTION DEFENSE FUND.
AND HE'S NOT BEING SUBTLE ABOUT IT.
ON THE WEBSITE, THE BUTTONS ARE DANCING FOR CASH.
OH, THAT'S IT!
SHAKE YOUR LITTLE MONEY-TAKER!
THE BUTTON'S REAL NAME IS GINGER, AND IT'S JUST DANCING
UNTIL IT CAN GET ITS MASTERS IN MARINE BIOLOGY.
CHAMPAGNE ROOM'S EXTRA.
AND THERE ARE PERKS!
SO I'VE HEARD.
AND THERE ARE PERKS.
FOR A DONATION OF $2,800, YOU CAN "JOIN THE FIRST FAMILY
CIRCLE."
THAT'S GOT TO BE SO TEMPTING FOR ERIC.
(AS ERIC) "PLEASE LET ME IN!
I'LL GET THE MONEY!
I JUST HAVE TO SELL MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR."
ACCORDING TO THE WEBSITE, AT LEAST HALF OF EACH DONATION WILL
GO TO PAYING OFF THE CAMPAIGN'S DEBTS.
ONE LAST GRIFT FOR THE ROAD.
BEFORE HE FINALLY LEAVES, SOMEONE BETTER CHECK UNDER HIS
MAGA HAT FOR WHITE HOUSE SILVERWARE.
IT GETS WORSE.
REPORTEDLY, BEFORE ANY MONEY GOES TO FINANCE ELECTION
CHALLENGES, A DONOR WOULD HAVE TO GIVE MORE THAN $8,000.
(AS ERIC) "DAD, THAT'S TOO MUCH!
I TRIED TO HAVE A GARAGE SALE, BUT NO ONE WANTED TO BUY MY
GARAGE!" "AND I'M ALL OUT OF HAIR!
I SHAVED EVERYWHERE!
I'M LIKE AN EEL!
I'M LIKE AN EEL!" I'M NOT SURE IF THAT'S AN
ACCURATE DEPICTION OF ERIC RIGHT NOW, BUT EMOTIONALLY, IT SEEMS
TRUE.
HERE'S HOW THE SCAM WORKS.
IF A DONOR GIVES $500, $200 WOULD GO TO THE R.N.C., WHILE
$300 WILL GO TO THE PRESIDENT'S NEWLY-FORMED "SAVE AMERICA PAC."
NOT SURE WHAT SAVE AMERICA PAC IS GOING TO DO WITH THE MONEY,
BUT THE PRESIDENT HAS A LOT OF DEBT AND THEIR MAILING ADDRESS
IS "GREASE-STAINED PAPER BAG UNDER PARK BENCH IN DUPONT
CIRCLE, MAKE SURE YOU WEREN'T FOLLOWED, U.S.A."
NO MATTER WHAT THE PRESIDENT DOES, IT'S PRETTY CLEAR THAT THE
ENTIRE FIRST FAMILY WILL NOT BE GOING QUIETLY:
>> SEVERAL G.O.P. SOURCES ARE TELLING CNN THAT THE PRESIDENT
ELDEST SON DONALD TRUMP JR., AND HIS GIRLFRIEND, KIMBERLEY
GUILFOYLE, ARE RIGHT NOW MAKING MOVES TO EXPAND THEIR INFLUENCE
IN THE R.N.C., POSSIBLY TAKE IT OVER.
>> Stephen: DON, JR. AND GUILFOYLE ARE SAID TO BE ANGRY
AT CURRENT R.N.C. CHAIR RONNA MCDANIEL, SEEN HERE RIGHT AFTER
PUSHING A BARISTA OFF A CLIFF FOR NOT ADDING ENOUGH FOAM, WHO
THEY VIEW AS NOT HAVING DONE ENOUGH TO WIN A CLOSE RACE.
SO THE PRESIDENT DEFINITELY WON, BUT IT'S HER FAULT HE DIDN'T?
IT REMINDS ME OF THAT STIRRING ROCK ANTHEM:
♪ WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS ♪
♪ AND WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING BECAUSE WE LOST ♪
>> Stephen: PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANTLY,
ACCORDING TO ONE ADVISER, D.J.T.J. AND KIM HAVE HAD A
GREAT TIME IN POLITICS, AND "THEY DON'T WANT THE RIDE TO
END."
DON JR JUST LOVES BEING ON THE ROAD.
OR REALLY ANYWHERE THERE ARE LITTLE WHITE LINES.
KIM AND DON ARE ALREADY SHAKING UP THE R.N.C.'S TACTICS.
AT A FUNDRAISER IN DECEMBER, "GUILFOYLE REPORTEDLY OFFERED TO
GIVE A LAP DANCE TO THE PERSON WHO DONATED THE MOST MONEY."
IN OTHER WORDS...
>> THE BREAST IS YET TO COME!
>> STEPHEN: BUT JR.'S DREAMS MAY HAVE BEEN DASHED BECAUSE LAST
NIGHT, THE PRESIDENT ENDORSED RONNA MCDANIEL FOR ANOTHER TERM
AS R.N.C. CHAIR.
OOH!
THAT'S GOT TO SMART FOR DON JR. ON THE UPSIDE, THAT'S THE FIRST
TIME "SMART" AND "DON JR." HAVE BEEN IN A SENTENCE TOGETHER.
REGARDLESS OF WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE WHITE HOUSE, BIDEN'S ALREADY
PUTTING THE WHEELS IN MOTION.
HE'S NAMED A TRANSITION TEAM INCLUDING PEOPLE LIKE KIRAN
AHUJCHA, MICHELLE HOWARD, CHRIS LU, PAMELA MELROY, KEVIN
WASHBURN, AND GEOVETTE WASHINGTON.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THOSE PEOPLE ARE?
NEITHER DO I, AND I LOVE IT!
NOT ONE OF THEM HAS AN INFOMERCIAL, OR A SPORTS BLOG,
OR IS RELATED TO JOE BIDEN.
I CAN'T WAIT TO NEVER BUY A PILLOW FROM ANY OF THEM!
YESTERDAY, BIDEN ANNOUNCED HIS CHIEF OF STAFF.
IT'S VETERAN DEMOCRATIC ADVISOR AND KID WHO WON'T LET YOU CHEAT
OFF HIS HOMEWORK BUT WILL TUTOR YOU FOR FREE, RON KLAIN.
KLAIN WAS BIDEN'S CHIEF OF STAFF WHEN HE WAS VICE PRESIDENT, AND,
ACCORDING TO WASHINGTON INSIDERS, THIS HIRING IS AN
EARLY SIGNAL THAT BIDEN INTENDS TO RELY HEAVILY ON EXPERIENCE,
COMPETENCE AND POLITICAL AGILITY AFTER THIS PRESIDENCY.
AFTER FOUR YEARS OF GETTING OUR DENTAL WORK DONE BY THE
EAR-PIERCING TEEN AT CLAIRE'S AMERICA'S READY TO TRY A
DENTIST.
THOUGH WE'LL STILL BE SPITTING OUT PLASTIC RHINESTONES FOR
YEARS.
KLAIN HAS AN IMPRESSIVE RESUME.
-- KLAIN KLAIN KLAIN WITH THE CABINET!
DON'T YOU DARE CUT THAT.
MAYBE CUT THAT.
WE'LL SEE.
KLAIN HAS AN IMPRESSIVE RESUME.
DURING THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION, HE SERVED AS THE "EBOLA TSAR."
YES, REMEMBER THE DEADLY EBOLA PANDEMIC THAT CLAIMED OVER
200,000 AMERICAN LIVES?
NO.
YOU DON'T!
BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
THANKS TO RON "THE MAIN" KLAIN!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL HIM YET.
RON IS DRY-KLAIN ONLY!
THAT'S NOT IT.
WE'LL FIND IT.
THAT'S NOT IT BECAUSE RON THE MAN KLAN DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT AT
ALL.
WE'LL FIND IT OR WE ON THE.
KLAIN PUT A STATEMENT ABOUT HIS NEW POSITION, SAYING HE LOOKS
FORWARD TO WORKING WITH THE PRESIDENT AND VICE
PRESIDENT-ELECT TO "ASSEMBLE A TALENTED AND DIVERSE TEAM TO
WORK IN THE WHITE HOUSE, AS WE TACKLE THEIR
AMBITIOUS AGENDA FOR CHANGE."
MMMM.
YEAH.
OH, YOU SEXY, SEXY, BORING MAN.
NO SLURS, NO LIES.
HE JUST WHIPS OUT HIS BULGING BINDER AND MAKES US RANDY FOR
THE BLANDY.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR STAFF, CHIEF.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MICHAEL MOORE IS HERE.
STICK AROUND!
WHOO!
SHAKE IT!
WHOO!
SHAKE IT, RON!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK!
LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE!
JON, CONGRATULATIONS ON A THOUSAND SHOWS!
>> Jon: NAH, NAH NAH NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH!
>> Stephen: I KNOW YOU'RE CLAPPING RIGHT AND I'M NOT.
SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY I MET YOU AT THE OLD GIG OVER ON
53rd STREET.
>> Jon: YEAH, 53rd AND 11th.
>> Stephen: WE DANCED OUT ON THE STREETS AND I THOUGHT, I
COULD SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH THAT GUY AND I LOVED IT.
THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: I LOVE IT, TOO.
IT'S BEEN GREAT, AND, YOU KNOW, LET'S GET TO A THOUSAND MORE.
LET'S HIT IT, POW!
>> Stephen: SOUNDS GOOD.
BUT LET'S GET BACKING TO FIRST.
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC IN YOUR FINGERS THAT MIGHT CELEBRATED A
THOU?
>> Jon: DA, DA DA DA DA DA!
>> Stephen: ANYTHING ELSE?
♪ ♪
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU, JON!
>> Jon: YES, INDEED!
HAVE A GOOD ONE.
>> Stephen: YOU, TOO.
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING FILMMAKER YOU KNOW
FROM "ROGER AND ME," "BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE," AND "FAHRENHEIT
9/11."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," MICHAEL MOORE!
HELLO, MICHAEL, NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK.
>> HELLO, STEPHEN.
IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK.
>> Stephen: HOW WERE YOU FEELING?
YOU WERE ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE IN 2016 WHO SENT UP A SIGNAL
FLARE SAYING, HEY, GUYS, TRUMP COULD REALLY WIN THIS ONE,
PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: 2020, BIDEN'S LEAD BIG 5 MILLION VOTES, LOOK LIKE
HE'S ON TRACK TO GO TO 306 IN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE.
DO YOU THINK BIDEN CAN PULL THIS ONE OUT, MICHAEL?
>> (LAUGHING) HE'S ALREADY PULLED IT OUT.
YES, WE ALL FEEL GREAT ABOUT THAT.
BUT WHAT WE ARE ON GUARD FOR IS THE FACT THAT TRUMP IS, ONCE
AGAIN, NOT DEALING WITH REALITY, AND I NEVER TAKE ANYTHING FOR
GRANTED WHENT IT COMES TO HIM, WHEN HE CAN PULL OFF WHAT HE'S
UP TO, WHO HE'S FIRING, WHO HE'S REPLACING, THE HEAD OF THE
DEFENSE DEPARTMENT WITH A GUY THAT TRIPPED GOING UP THE STEPS
TO HAVE THE PENTAGON.
ALL OF -- UP THE STEPS OF THE PENTAGON.
I THINK PEOPLE ARE JUSTIFIABLY NERVES ABOUT GETTING THROUGH
THESE NEXT 69 DAYS OR SO.
>> Stephen: LET'S CONCENTRATE ON THE POSITIVE FOR A MOMENT.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A PROUD MICHIGANDER.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FEEL YOUR STATE, RIGHT NOW BIDEN'S
LEAD IS TEN TIMES LARGER THAN WHAT TRUMP WON THE STATE BY IN
2016.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO SEE YOUR STATE FLIP BACK?
>> REALLY GOOD.
>> Stephen: LET ME WRITE THAT DOWN.
MICHAEL MOORE SAID "REALLY GOOD."
THAT'S VERY RARE.
>> WELL, THE EMBARRASSMENT OF THESE LAST FOUR YEARS, EVERY
TIME I HEAR MICHIGAN BEING CALLED A RED STATE, TO REMOVE
THE SCARLET LETTER LAST WEEK FELT GOOD, I THINK, AMONGST MANY
OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW IN MICHIGAN.
SO, YES, WE DID SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT AS DID THE PEOPLE IN
WISCONSIN AND PENNSYLVANIA.
>> Stephen: WHAT MADE THE DIFFERENCE, YOU THINK, THIS
TIME?
>> WELL, FOUR YEARS OF AN INSANE PERSON IN THE WHITE HOUSE, I
MEAN, THAT HAD A LOT TO DO WITH IT.
AND I THINK, TOO, THE BLACK COMMUNITY WAS PRETTY MUCH
IGNORED FOUR YEARS AGO, AND, REMEMBER, THESE ARE MAJORITY
BLACK CITIES -- FLINT, PONTIAC -- AND 83 COUNTIES IN
MICHIGAN, BIDEN WON 11 OF THEM, YET WON THE STATE BY THAT LARGE
MARGIN BECAUSE UP THE I-75 CORRIDOR, ALL THESE MAJORITY
BLACK CITIES CAME OUT IN HUGE NUMBERS FOR HIM AND THE COLLEGE
TOWNS OF ANN ARBOR AND EAST LANSING, HUGE NUMBERS, SO THE
YOUTH VOTE, BLACK VOTE, THAT'S WHAT REALLY MADE THE DIFFERENCE
THIS YEAR.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T FROM MICHIGAN NOT
UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS STATE BECAUSE, YES, YOU HAVE THIS
VICTORY BY BIDEN THERE, YOU HAVE A LARGE URBAN BLACK POPULATION.
TELL ME ABOUT THE GUYS WHO PRETEND TO BE IN THE ARMY WITH
THE CAMO AND SAY THEY'RE MILITIA AND THINK THEY'RE GOING TO
KIDNAP THE GOVERNOR.
TELL ME ABOUT THAT MICHIGAN.
>> YEAH, I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH THEM.
I KNOW THEM.
>> Stephen: EVERYBODY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH THEM.
BUT WHAT'S THE MOTIVATION?
>> I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, TERRY NICHOLS WITH TIMOTHY
McVEIGH WHO BLEW UP THE OKLAHOMA CITY FEDERAL BUILDING
GRADUATED THE SAME YEAR I DID IN THE HIGH SCHOOL NEXT TO MINE
WHERE I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL.
NO, SO I'VE KNOWN ALL THESE GUYS FOR A LONG TIME.
AGAIN, I THINK THEY'RE JUST A LOT OF BLUSTER.
THEY WERE DEMONSTRATING WITH THEIR GUNS AT THE STATE CAPITOL
THIS YEAR BECAUSE THEY WERE UPSET THAT THE GYMS AND THE NAIL
SALONS WERE CLOSED, AND I WAS, LIKE, WELL, GOOD!
MAYBE THERE'S PROGRESS BEING MADE HERE.
BUT I THINK THAT, YES, LISTEN, 70 MILLION-PLUS PEOPLE VOTED FOR
TRUMP SO, CLEARLY, WE KNOW THE COUNTRY WE LIVE IN, THE PROBLEMS
AREN'T NECESSARILY GOING TO GO AWAY.
THE BIGOTRY, THE MISOGYNY AND ALL THESE THINGS, WE'LL STILL
HAVE TO WORK WITH PEOPLE -- AND MAYBE THEIR KIDS WILL GO TO
SCHOOL, THEY'LL READ BOOKS, AND THE NEXT GENERATION WILL BE
BETTER.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK BUT STICK AROUND,
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE MICHAEL MOORE.
♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH MICHAEL MOORE.
NOW, YOU'VE MADE DOCUMENTARIES OVER THE LAST FOUR YEARS, BUT IF
YOU WERE GOING TO LOOK BACK AND MAKE A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE
LAST FOUR YEARS IN AMERICA, ABOUT THE SWEEP OF IT, WHAT
WOULD YOU SAY THE LESSON OR THE THEMES YOU WOULD TAKE FROM THE
LAST FOUR YEARS OF THIS PRESIDENCY?
>> FIRST, I WOULD NOT MAKE THAT FILM, IN PART BECAUSE WHO WOULD
WANT TO WATCH A FILM THAT SHOWED YOU THE LAST FOUR YEARS?
WE JUST LIVED THROUGH IT.
THE WORST THING I COULD DO TO PEOPLE IS SHOW THEM THE LAST
FOUR YEARS.
FOR THAT REASON ALONE, THE IDEA IS OUT, BUT YOUR QUESTION IS A
GOOD ONE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
WHAT IF WE LEARNED?
AND I THINK THE THING THAT'S BEEN -- THE FACT THAT WE AS
AMERICANS WOULD ALLOW A SITUATION -- SO MANY SITUATIONS,
ACTUALLY -- TO EXIST, WHETHER IT'S TAKING BABIES OUT OF THEIR
MOTHERS' ARMS, PUTTING THEM IN CAGES, WHETHER IT'S ALL THE
OTHER STUFF THAT WE LET THIS GO ON, IT WAS DONE IN OUR NAME,
AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S -- YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ANSWER
FOR THIS SOME DAY BECAUSE IT WAS DONE IN MY NAME, AND MY TAX
DOLLARS PAID FOR IT.
SO I THINK THAT'S A VERY -- I THINK IT'S GOING TO TAKE A WHILE
FOR US.
IN A WAY, I GUESS WE CAN REDEEM OURSELVES WITH THIS IS OUR NEW
PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT ARE GOING TO DO THINGS THAT ARE
GOING TO BE THERE FOR PEOPLE.
I MEAN, JUST BEFORE WE STARTED, THE THING CAME ACROSS THAT THE
POPE HAD CALLED JOE BIDEN, AND THEY HAD A CONVERSATION, AND THE
BIDEN CAMPAIGN, THEY PUT OUT A READOUT OF WHAT THE CONVERSATION
SAID, AND IN THERE THEY TALKED ABOUT -- BIDEN TALKED ABOUT, TO
THE POPE, ABOUT HOW HE WAS GOING TO MAKE AMERICA A WELCOMING
PLACE FOR PEOPLE, FOR REFUGEES, FOR THE HAVE-NOTS, AND THE
HAVE-NOTS THAT WE HAVE HERE ARE GOING TO HAVE THE PRIMARY FOCUS
BECAUSE, I MEAN, THIS IS OUR SECOND CATHOLIC PRESIDENT, SO,
YOU KNOW, HE -- >> Stephen: THAT'S BEEN
OVERLOOKED A LITTLE BIT.
NOT AS MUCH A DEAL HAS BEEN MADE OF THAT.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: BUT AS A CATHOLIC MYSELF, I WAS REALLY STRUCK --
FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW MR. BIDEN TO BE A FREQUENT IF NOT DAILY
COMCOMMUNICANT AND HE TAKES HIS FAITH SERIOUSLY AND I'M MOVED
WITH THE CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD WITH HIM PUBLICLY AND PRIVATELY
ABOUT HIS FAITH, AND YOU'VE HAD AN OPEN CONVERSATION ABOUT HIS
RELIGION.
WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU?
>> BECAUSE HE AND YOU AND I, WE ALL WENT TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL AND
LEARNED THE SAME LESSONS.
I SAID TO HIM IN THIS LETTER, WHAT ARE THE LESSONS?
THE LESSON IS THE RICH MAN WILL HAVE A HARDER TIME GETTING INTO
HEAVEN THAN A CAMEL GETTING INTO THE EYE OF A NEEDLE.
BLESSED ARE THE POOR, THAT WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THOSE WHO
DON'T -- WHO ARE THE LEAST AMONG US, THAT'S HOW WE'LL BE JUDGED.
SO I SAID I'M ASSUMING -- I SAID THIS TO HIM -- THAT THESE ARE
GOING TO BE THE MORAL PRINCIPLES OF THE BIDEN PRESIDENCY.
I'M JUST GOING TO ASSUME THAT AUTOMATICALLY BECAUSE I DO
BELIEVE HE'S A MAN OF FAITH, AND I THINK THAT IS GOING TO SERVE
US REALLY WELL.
FOR THIS EXAMPLE, STEPHEN, THE FACT THAT HE PICKED KAMALA
HARRIS TO BE HIS RUNNING MATE, BUT ASIDE THE FACT THAT TRUMP
AND PENCE WERE RIGHT WHEN SHE IS RANKED THE MOST LIBERAL SENATOR
IN THE UNITED STATES SENATE, SO HE WENT TO THE LEFT WHEN HE
CHOSE HIS VICE PRESIDENT.
MORE THAN THAT, IN THE FIRST DEBATE, SHE WENT AFTER HIM.
>> Stephen: OH, THEY BUTTED HEADS, YEAH.
>> AND YOU COULD SEE ON HIS FACE, HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO
SAY.
LATER I THOUGHT, HE HAS A CONSCIENCE, THERE'S A LITTLE
VOICE IN THERE SAYING, WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE SHE'S GOT A POINT.
YOU KNOW, BUT THAT WAS THE YOUNGER ME.
AND SHE WAS THROWING SHADE ON THE YOUNGER SELF OF JOE BIDEN.
BUT THE FACT THAT NOT ONLY HE FORGAVE THAT, THAT HE HELD NO
GRUDGE, THAT HE JUST DIDN'T FORGIVE, HE PUT HER ON THE
TICKET, WHO WOULD DO THAT?
I WOULD LIKE TO THINK I WOULD, BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WOULD.
YOU KNOW, WE WOULD LIKE -- HE DID THAT, AND I THOUGHT, WOW, IF
THAT IS HIS MORAL COMPASS, IF THIS IS HOW HE IS TOWARD PEOPLE,
PEOPLE WHO HE PROBABLY -- HE WAS PROBABLY MAD AT HER THAT NIGHT,
BUT HE DIDN'T HOLD IT AGAINST HER, SHE HAD A RIGHT TO SAY IT,
THEN HE PICS HER TO BE VICE PRESIDENT.
THIS IS SUCH A POSITIVE SIGN FOR ME THAT WE ARE GOING TO BE IN
THE POLAR OPPOSITE ERA THAN THE FOUR YEARS THAT WE JUST WENT
THROUGH.
>> Stephen: I WOULD AGREE.
WHILE THE UNITED STATES STILL HAS THE SAME PROBLEMS IT HAD TWO
WEEKS AGO, AT LEAST THE POSITION OF THE PRESIDENT WILL BE
OCCUPIED BY SOMEONE WHO IS GOING TO EMBODY SOME OF THE
PRINCIPLES, RELIGIOUS OR NOT, THAT WE NEED AS A MORAL EXAMPLE
FOR ALL OF US TO GET ALONG.
MYEL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
HIS PODCAST "RUMBLE WITH MICHAEL MOORE" IS AVAILABLE ON APPLE
PODCAST.
THE MAN IS MICHAEL MOORE, EVERYBODY.
WHEN WE COME BACK, ST STEVE CARE AND I DISCUSS EXCITING MOVIES WE
FORGOT WE MADE TOGETHER.
STICK AROUND, THANKS, MYEL.
♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
AS YOU KNOW, DUE TO THE PANDEMIC, THE RELEASE OF A LOT
OF BIG HOLLYWOOD MOVIES HAVE BEEN DELAYED.
IN FACT, WE EVEN HAD TO DELAY THE RELEASE OF A SEGMENT I SHOT
SIX MONTHS AGO ABOUT THE DELAYED RELEASE OF BIG HOLLYWOOD MOVIES.
THANKFULLY, I CAN FINALLY SHOW IT TO YOU NOW.
HERE'S A CONVERSATION I HAD A FEW MONTHS AGO WITH MY DEAR OLD
FRIEND STEVE CARELL.
WE'RE HERE WITH OUR FRIEND STEVE CARELL.
STEVE, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT.
>> YEAH, WHATEVER.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
YOU KNOW, STEVE, YOU ALWAYS HAVE SO MANY PROJECTS GOING AT THE
SAME TIME, SUCH A BUSY MAN, BUT, YOU KNOW, UNFORTUNATELY, SO MANY
PROJECTS ARE BEING DELAYED RIGHT NOW, AND EVEN FILMS THAT ARE
SHOW AREN'T BEING RELEASED BECAUSE THERE ARE NO THEATERS
OPEN.
>> YEAH, IT'S A TRICKY SITUATION.
>> Stephen: WELL SAID.
NOW, YOU AND I -- >> (LAUGHING).
>> Stephen: I REALIZE I DIDN'T ASK YOU A QUESTION I JUST LEFT A
SPACE IN THE SENTENCE FOR YOU TO FILL IN.
SO I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR BEING SLIGHTLY TAS TURN IN YOUR
RESPONSE.
THAT'S ON ME.
>> (LAUGHING) BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK I'M PLAYING THE
CHARACTER OF, HEY, I'M GOING TO BE THE GUEST WHO'S NOT GOING TO
HELP HIM OUT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NOW, HERE'S THE
THING, ALL THESE MOVIES ARE BEING PUSHED, YOU KNOW, AND
THEY'RE NOT BEING RELEASED, AND SOME PEOPLE MAY NEVER SEE THESE
MOVIES, THEY MAY NEVER BE RELEASED, INCLUDING ALL THE
MOVIES YOU AND I MADE IN THE LAST YEAR.
>> AND WE HAVE A LOT.
>> Stephen: SO MANY I FORGOT -- A, I FORGOT THAT WE
MADE THEM.
>> I EKNOW, BUT THEY WERE FUN TO WORK ON WITH YOU.
>> Stephen: I REMEMBER ENJOYING DOING THEM, BUT I DON'T
REMEMBER WHAT THEY WERE, WHAT THEY WERE CALLED, WHO WE PLAYED
OR WHAT THE PLOT WAS.
>> YEAH, IT'S ALL A BLUR.
>> Stephen: THANKFULLY, MY GRAPHICS DEPARTMENT MADE UP
POSTERS FOR ALL THESE MOVIES THAT NEITHER YOU NOR I CAN
REMEMBER AND WE'LL TRY TO REMEMBER THE MOVIES NOW BY
LOOKING AT THE POSTERS.
ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO THIS?
>> YEAH, THIS WILL BE A NICE TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE.
>> Stephen: WELL, GOOD, BECAUSE THIS IS "MAYBE COMING
SOON."
♪ ♪
WELCOME TO "MAYBE COMING SOON" WHERE STEVE AND I WILL LOOK AT
MOVIE POSTERS FROM MOVIES WE MADE THAT WE CAN'T REMEMBER AND
TRY TO REMEMBER.
JIM, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE FIRST POSTER.
WHAT DID STEVE AND I DO?
THE DRACULA PILL.
THIS DRUG COULD UNLEASH YOUR BRAIN'S POTENTIAL TO BE DRACULA.
>> OH, MY GOD I FOUGHT SO HARD FOR FIRST BILLING ON THIS.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
REMEMBER, WE WENT BACK AND FORTH, DRACULA PILL,
COLBERT-CARELL OR CARELL-COLBERT.
WAS MY NAME GOING TO BE FIRST BUT LOWER AND YOUR NAME WAS
GOING TO BE SECOND BUT HIGHER?
AND I THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ACQUIESCING ON THAT.
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU KNOW.
WE EACH GAVE UP SOMETHING, YOU KNOW.
WE EACH GIVE SOMETHING.
I REMEMBER YOU WANTED YOUR NAME TO BE IN THAT DRIPPY BLOOD FONT
FROM THE MUNSTERS, AND I SAID, NO, BUT I'M DRACULA, WHY WOULD
YOU GET THE DRIPPY BLOOD FONT.
>> YEAH, WELL, YOU WERE THE TITLE CHARACTER.
>> Stephen: SURE, I AM.
ROGER PILL.
>> WELL, LET'S JUST BREAK DOWN THE PREMISE ITSELF.
AS A SCIENTIST, I DEVELOPED THIS EENORMOUS PILL THAT I AM GOING
TO USE AS A SUPPOSITORY TO TURN PEOPLE INTO VAMPIRES.
I MEET YOU AT THE HEALTH CLUB BUN WAY, HELLO, MY NAME IS ROGER
PILL.
>> Stephen: I'M ON THE SQUAT MACHINE.
>> RIGHT, WHICH STRUCK MY CHARACTER --
>> Stephen: AS HANDY.
WHAT'S THAT?
>> Stephen: AS HANDY.
( LAUGHTER ) JIM.
>> OH, THAT BIONIC EYE.
THAT THING WAS -- THAT THING WAS THE DEATH OF ME.
>> Stephen: A NIGHTMARE.
HOW MANY HOURS IN THE MAKEUP CHAIR EVERY DAY?
>> IT WAS LIKE 16 HOURS A DAY OF MAKEUP.
THEY'D ACTUALLY FOLD MY ACTUAL EYEBALL OUT TO THE SIDE SO THEY
COULD FIND A RECESS WITHIN MY EYE SOCKET TO PUT THAT LIGHT
UNIT.
>> Stephen: WHY NOT DO IT DIGITALLY.
>> WELL, RIGHT.
I THINK THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EASIER ON ME, BUT THE
PRODUCERS -- AND I WAS A PRODUCER, SO I COULD HAVE SAID
SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: BUT NO ONE COULD UNDERSTAND A DAMN WORD YOU WERE
SAYING OVER THE SCREAMING BECAUSE IT WAS JUST HORRIBLE TO
LOOK AT, HORRIBLE PROCESS TO LOOK AT, AND ON A CERTAIN LEVEL,
I'M GLAD THIS ONE'S NOT COMING OUT.
SAD.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YEP.
LAURA WAS GREAT IN THIS, TOO.
>> Stephen: SHE MADE MARMEE.
HUH?
YOU WERE GOING TO SAY.
>> Stephen: MARMEE.
YES.
>> Stephen: JIM?
OH, MAN!
>> Stephen: I AM DYING FOR THIS ONE TO COME OUT.
>> ME, TOO!
THIS ONE -- AH!
THIS ONE, I REMEMBER REALLY WELL.
REMEMBER?
>> Stephen: YES, WHEN -- OKAY --
>> Stephen: YOU -- GO AHEAD.
>> Stephen: NO.
PLEASE, START.
>> THAT SHARK.
>> Stephen: THAT SHARK.
I REMEMBER -- >> Stephen: SO FUNNY.
HE SMELLED SO BAD!
(LAUGHING) YOU WERE, LIKE, I'M GOING TO GRAB THE FRONT OF THE
SHARK.
I'M, LIKE, OKAY, YOU SPELL THAT SHARK'S BREATH!
>> Stephen: THE SHARK WAS -- I MEAN, BAD BREATH!
>> Stephen: AND I WAS, LIKE, WHY CAN'T SOMEBODY WASH THIS
SHARK BEFORE WE SHOOT?
THEY'RE, LIKE, IT'S LIVING IN WATER, IT'S ALWAYS BEING WASHED.
>> IT'S GOING TO SMELL, NO MATTER WHAT WE DO.
>> Stephen: OH, GOSH!
AND TRYING TO GET THE SHARK FROM ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO,
FOR THE -- >> Stephen: FOR THE BIG
CONCERT.
>> FOR THE CONCERT.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS WHOLE THING WAS JUMP A JOY.
>> Stephen: SOMETIMES YOU'RE ASKED TO LEARN THINGS FOR A
MOVIE OR A PROJECT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, KEANU REEVES HAD TO LEARN
KUNG FU FOR THE MATRIX MOVIES.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND YOU AND I BOTH HAD TO LEARN HOW TO TAG GREAT
WHITE SHARKS.
>> AND I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
THAT WAS FUN.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
IT WAS FUN.
AND JOSEPH, WHO ORIGINALLY TAUGHT US HOW TO DO IT.
>> Stephen: YASH, HE WILL BE MISSED.
>> HE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN.
AND I -- >> Stephen: YOU AND HE REALLY
HIT IT OFF.
THE TWO OF YOU -- I WAS A LITTLE JEALOUS HOW THE TWO OF YOU HIT
IT OFF.
>> I WISH WE HADN'T BECAUSE THEN WHEN WE LOST HIM, IT WAS THAT
MUCH MORE PAINFUL.
I WISH I HAD SORT OF KEPT MY DISTANCE.
I DO THAT NOW.
I DON'T GET CLOSE TO PEOPLE ESPECIALLY IF THEY'RE DOING
SOMETHING DANGEROUS.
>> Stephen: WITH SHARKS?
I JUST -- >> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO
WIN ANY FRIENDS FOR SAYING THIS, I MIGHT GET BLOWBACK FOR SAYING
THIS, BUT I THINK HE, ON A CERTAIN LEVEL, HAD IT COMING.
HE WAS ASKING FOR IT.
>> MM-HMM.
>> Stephen: HE GOES IN -- HE GOES IN TO THE SHARK TANK, AND
WE'RE, LIKE, TAKE OFF YOUR LUCKY HAM.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HE'S, LIKE, NO.
NO.
IT'S ALWAYS -- IT'S ALWAYS BEEN GOOD FOR ME BEFORE.
>> HE CARED ABOUT THAT HAM TOO MUCH AND AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS
LIFE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
DEDICATED.
THIS MOVIE'S DEDICATED TO HIM.
>> WELL, THAT WAS ACTUALLY TAKEN OFF AT THE END.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
WE DIDN'T -- WELL, IT'S SO -- THE MOVIE'S SO MUCH FUN.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
AND IT'S JUST THE HI JINX AND IT'S SUCH A FARCE THAT WE DIDN'T
WANT TO END WITH THAT BECAUSE WE THOUGHT --
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT JUST INSTEAD OF, LIKE, NO ANIMALS
WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS MOVIE, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE.
WHAT ABOUT SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE THAT?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WELL, STEVE, A JOY.
LISTEN, WE'VE GOT TO -- I'LL SEE YOU AT ALL THESE PREMIERES, IF
ANY OF THEM COME OUT.
>> I CANNOT -- I CAN'T WAIT FOR AAQUARIUM.
>> Stephen: MIGHT HAVE TO.
IT'S A GOOD ONE.
>> Stephen: WE'RE BEING SUED BY JOE'S FAMILY.
JUST -- AND THEY'VE GOT A GOOD CASE.
THEY'VE GOT A DAMN GOOD CASE.
STEVE, PEACE, MY BROTHER.
>> YOU, TOO, TAKE CARE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, STEVE CARELL.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY SARA BAREILLES.
♪ >> WE KEEP HEARING THE DRUM BEAT
OF WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE.
RIGHT HERE, SEAN.
234 PAGES OF SWORN AFFIDAVITS -- THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE, REAL
ALLEGATIONS, SIGNED WITH NOTARY --
>> HI THERE!
I MAY LOOK LIKE A CREDIBLE DOCUMENT!
AFTER ALL I'M A STACK OF PAPER LIABLE TO EXHIBIT.
BUT THE TRUTH IS REPUBLICAN OPERATIVE SOLICITED MY
AFFIDAVITS AND THE CALL WAS ANSWERED BY CONSPIRACY
THEORISTS.
I'M FULL OF CRAP!
NOW SING IT WITH ME.
♪ ♪
YAY!
>> Stephen: AROUND NOW PERFORMING THE TITLE TRACK FROM
HER ALBUM "MORE LOVE: SONGS FROM 'LITTLE VOICE' SEASON ONE," SARA
BAREILLES!
♪ OPENED UP MY EYES TO DAYLIGHT
♪ IN MY NEW CITY WHERE MAYBE I
♪ WILL WANDER TOO FAR AWAY
♪ FROM WHERE I STARTED OPENED UP MY HEART
♪ AND BREAK HER NO GENTLE WATERS
♪ NO ANCHOR I'M BARELY BRAVE ENOUGH
♪ TO KEEP BREATHING BUT I BELIEVE IN LOVE
♪ THERE IS ENOUGH SO ASK FOR MORE
♪ FILL YOU UP NOBODY'S KEEPING SCORE
♪ DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
♪ WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
I WANT MORE ♪ IN THE DEAD OF THE DARK
THE HARD TIMES ♪ ON BROKEN BRANCHES
AND LIFE LINES ♪ REMEMBER IT'S ALL A GAME
A GRAND DESIGN ♪ THAT YOU CAN'T TAME
OPEN UP YOUR EYES ♪ AND CRY THEN
MOURN YOUR CHILD ♪ YOUR INNOCENCE
AND TURN AROUND TO FACE THIS
♪ PLAYGROUND AND COME WITH
♪ THERE IS ENOUGH SO ASK FOR MORE
♪ TO FILL YOU UP NOBODY'S KEEPING SCORE
♪ DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
♪ WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
I WANT MORE LOVE ♪ THERE IS ENOUGH
SO ASK FOR MORE ♪ TO FILL YOU UP
NOBODY'S KEEPING SCORE ♪ DO YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
♪ WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
I WANT MORE OF ME
♪ MORE OF YOU MORE WANDERING INTO NIGHT SKIES
♪ FROM THE SUNRISE SIDE VIEW MORE DEEP BREATHS
♪ MORE EXHALES MORE WANDERING OFF THE ROAD
♪ FOR MY STORY TO TELL MY STORY TO TELL
♪ MY STORY TO TELL THERE IS ENOUGH
♪ THERE IS ENOUGH DO YOU KNOW
♪ WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
I WANT MORE LOVE ♪ I WANT MORE LOVE
DO YOU KNOW ♪ WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
WHAT YOU FIGHT FOR?
♪ I WANT MORE LOVE >> Stephen: SARA BAREILLES,
EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Stephen: HEY THERE.
THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT, BUT FIRST, LET'S SAY GOOD NIGHT WITH SOME
MUSIC FROM JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
♪ ♪
Captioning sponsored by CBS
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org ♪ ♪ ♪