1 00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:04,137 >> AT A RECENT HOUSE PRESENTATION ON ENERGY, TEXAS 2 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:06,000 REPRESENTATIVE RONNY JACKSON, FORMERLY KNOWN AS "DR. FEELGOOD" 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,174 REPRESENTATIVE RONNY JACKSON, FORMERLY KNOWN AS "DR. FEELGOOD" 4 00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:10,810 FOR HIS GENEROUS PILL PRESCRIPTIONS, COULD BE SEEN 5 00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,000 TOUCHING HIS NOSE BEHIND A POSTERBOARD, LEADING SOME TO 6 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,880 TOUCHING HIS NOSE BEHIND A POSTERBOARD, LEADING SOME TO 7 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:18,000 BELIEVE HE WAS DOING COCAINE. >> YOU'RE WATCHING C-SPAN3. 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,819 BELIEVE HE WAS DOING COCAINE. >> YOU'RE WATCHING C-SPAN3. 9 00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:23,356 LET ME KNOW HOW IT IS. I'LL BE WATCHING NETFLIX. 10 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:24,000 UP NEXT, REPRESENTATIVE AARON BEAN AND FORMER PRESIDENT 11 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,126 UP NEXT, REPRESENTATIVE AARON BEAN AND FORMER PRESIDENT 12 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:29,929 TRUMP'S PERSONAL PHYSICIAN, DR. RONNY JACKSON. 13 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:30,000 >> MR. SPEAKER, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. 14 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,965 >> MR. SPEAKER, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. 15 00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:33,867 >> [SNIFFING] >> THE UNITED STATES HAS THE 16 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:36,000 RESOURCES, THE KNOW-HOW, AND THE EXPERTISE TO BE ONCE AGAIN 17 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:36,736 RESOURCES, THE KNOW-HOW, AND THE EXPERTISE TO BE ONCE AGAIN 18 00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:40,006 AN ENERGY INDEPENDENT NATION. >> [BURBLING] 19 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,000 >> AND AN EXPORTER OF ENERGY. AMERICAN ENERGY IS NOT 20 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:42,409 >> AND AN EXPORTER OF ENERGY. AMERICAN ENERGY IS NOT 21 00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:45,879 THE ENEMY. IT'S THE SOLUTION. 22 00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:48,000 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 23 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,450 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 24 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:54,000 TONIGHT... READ 'EM AND VEEP. 25 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:59,893 TONIGHT... READ 'EM AND VEEP. 26 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:00,000 FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES TARON EGERTON 27 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:04,397 FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES TARON EGERTON 28 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,000 AND JAY CHANDRASEKHAR. FEATURING LOUIS CATO 29 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,501 AND JAY CHANDRASEKHAR. FEATURING LOUIS CATO 30 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:12,000 AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND. AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE 31 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,840 AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND. AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE 32 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:18,000 FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, 33 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:18,511 FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, 34 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:24,000 IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT. >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 35 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:30,000 IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT. >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 36 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,460 IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT. >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 37 00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:33,993 IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT. >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 38 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,962 A! HELLO. 39 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:40,600 HELLO, HELLO. HAPPY WEDNESDAY. 40 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,000 HAPPY WEDNESDAY. HAPPY, HAPPY, THANK YOU FOR 41 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:42,602 HAPPY WEDNESDAY. HAPPY, HAPPY, THANK YOU FOR 42 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,437 BEING HERE. HAPPY WEDNESDAY. 43 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,372 HEY, EVERYBODY! HAPPY WEDNESDAY! 44 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,000 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 45 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:52,679 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 46 00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:54,000 GET THAT OTHER ONE WARMED UP. ♪ ♪ 47 00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:00,000 GET THAT OTHER ONE WARMED UP. ♪ ♪ 48 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:00,620 GET THAT OTHER ONE WARMED UP. ♪ ♪ 49 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,490 THERE YOU GO. WELCOME. 50 00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,258 WELCOME ONE AT ALL TO THE "THE LATE SHOW." 51 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,000 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 52 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:11,131 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 53 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:12,000 HERE WE ALL ARE. ANOTHER DAY HAS GONE BY, 54 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:17,437 HERE WE ALL ARE. ANOTHER DAY HAS GONE BY, 55 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:18,000 AND THE EX-PRESIDENT STILL HASN'T BEEN INDICTED FOR 56 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:18,571 AND THE EX-PRESIDENT STILL HASN'T BEEN INDICTED FOR 57 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:23,076 MAKING ILLEGAL HUSH MONEY PAYMENTS TO A PORN STAR. 58 00:02:23,142 --> 00:02:24,000 >> [BOOING] >> Stephen: I REALLY THOUGHT 59 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,979 >> [BOOING] >> Stephen: I REALLY THOUGHT 60 00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:28,014 IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TODAY. AFTER ALL, WEDNESDAY IS 61 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,000 "COVER UP YOUR HUMP DAY." BUT WE DID GET SOME MOVEMENT IN 62 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,287 "COVER UP YOUR HUMP DAY." BUT WE DID GET SOME MOVEMENT IN 63 00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,000 ANOTHER OF THE EX-PRESIDENT'S MYRIAD CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS. 64 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,423 ANOTHER OF THE EX-PRESIDENT'S MYRIAD CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS. 65 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,792 BECAUSE A FEDERAL JUDGE ORDERED FORMER VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE 66 00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:42,000 TO APPEAR IN FRONT OF THE JANUARY 6TH'S SPECIAL 67 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:42,562 TO APPEAR IN FRONT OF THE JANUARY 6TH'S SPECIAL 68 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:47,100 COUNSEL'S GRAND JURY. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 69 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,000 AND... AND YEAH. 70 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,768 AND... AND YEAH. 71 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:52,705 I HIGHLY AGREE. THE REASON WE KNOW THIS IS 72 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,000 GOOD FOR THE COUNTRY IS BECAUSE NEITHER PENCE NOR THE 73 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:54,974 GOOD FOR THE COUNTRY IS BECAUSE NEITHER PENCE NOR THE 74 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,743 FORMER PRESIDENT WANT IT TO HAPPEN. 75 00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:58,077 THE EX PREZ ARGUED THAT HIS CONVERSATIONS WITH 76 00:02:58,144 --> 00:03:00,000 PENCE FELL UNDER EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE, WHILE PENCE 77 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,248 PENCE FELL UNDER EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE, WHILE PENCE 78 00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:05,151 CLAIMED THAT HIS ROLE AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE SENATE 79 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,000 GRANTED HIM LEGISLATIVE IMMUNITY. 80 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:06,986 GRANTED HIM LEGISLATIVE IMMUNITY. 81 00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:09,556 SO, HE WAS A PART OF THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH 82 00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:12,000 AND THE LEGISLATIVE BRANCH. YOU CAN SEE IT 83 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:12,659 AND THE LEGISLATIVE BRANCH. YOU CAN SEE IT 84 00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:14,227 ALL IN THE NEW MOVIE, "EVERY JOB EVERYWHERE 85 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:18,000 ALL MIKE PENCE." YEAH! 86 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:24,000 ALL MIKE PENCE." YEAH! 87 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,472 ALL MIKE PENCE." YEAH! 88 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:30,000 WHAT PROSECUTORS REALLY WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT THE FORMER 89 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:30,243 WHAT PROSECUTORS REALLY WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT THE FORMER 90 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:35,515 PRESIDENT SAID TO PENCE PRIOR TO JANUARY 6TH IN ORDER 91 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:36,000 TO PRESSURE PENCE TO GO ALONG WITH THE PLOT TO OVERTURN THE 92 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,984 TO PRESSURE PENCE TO GO ALONG WITH THE PLOT TO OVERTURN THE 93 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:42,000 RESULTS OF A FREE AND ELECTION. WE KNOW SOME OF THE THINGS THE 94 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,356 RESULTS OF A FREE AND ELECTION. WE KNOW SOME OF THE THINGS THE 95 00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:46,025 EX-PRESIDENT SAID TO PENCE ALREADY ABOUT THAT PLOT, LIKE 96 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,927 "IF IT GIVES YOU THE POWER, WHY WOULD YOU OPPOSE IT?" 97 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:48,000 AND "YOU CAN EITHER GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS A PATRIOT 98 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,496 AND "YOU CAN EITHER GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS A PATRIOT 99 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,299 OR YOU CAN GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS A PUSSY." 100 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:54,000 TO WHICH PENCE REPLIED, "WHAT'S THAT? 101 00:03:54,000 --> 00:04:00,000 TO WHICH PENCE REPLIED, "WHAT'S THAT? 102 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,442 TO WHICH PENCE REPLIED, "WHAT'S THAT? 103 00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:06,000 IS THAT THE LADY AREA COVERED IN CAUTION TAPE?" 104 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:06,946 IS THAT THE LADY AREA COVERED IN CAUTION TAPE?" 105 00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:10,416 OF COURSE, ONE REASON THIS CASE MAY NEVER COME TO COURT IS THAT 106 00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,000 AMERICA MIGHT CEASE TO EXIST. BECAUSE THE G.O.P.'S REFUSING TO 107 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,355 AMERICA MIGHT CEASE TO EXIST. BECAUSE THE G.O.P.'S REFUSING TO 108 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,624 RAISE THE DEBT CEILING. AND ACCORDING TO THE TREASURY 109 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:18,000 DEPARTMENT, JUNE 5TH IS THE DEADLINE TO AVOID A 110 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,158 DEPARTMENT, JUNE 5TH IS THE DEADLINE TO AVOID A 111 00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:24,000 CATASTROPHIC DEFAULT. NOW, I'M SURE THAT'S NOT GOOD. 112 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,431 CATASTROPHIC DEFAULT. NOW, I'M SURE THAT'S NOT GOOD. 113 00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,467 BUT AT THIS POINT, AREN'T WE ALL A LITTLE CATASTROPHIED OUT? 114 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:30,000 IF YOU WANT TO GRAB OUR ATTENTION AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE 115 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,738 IF YOU WANT TO GRAB OUR ATTENTION AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE 116 00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:35,308 GONNA HAVE TO DO MORE. YOU NEED 117 00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,000 SOMETHING SCARIER THAN "CATASTROPHIC DEFAULT," 118 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,545 SOMETHING SCARIER THAN "CATASTROPHIC DEFAULT," 119 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,000 LIKE "GONORRHEAGEDDON" OR "PLEASE WELCOME KANYE WEST." 120 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,084 LIKE "GONORRHEAGEDDON" OR "PLEASE WELCOME KANYE WEST." 121 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:48,000 NOW, I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT CONGRESS 122 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,122 NOW, I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT CONGRESS 123 00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:53,459 SHOULD BE PAYING FOR OR CUTTING. BUT I DO KNOW THAT 124 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:54,000 THREE WEEKS AGO, THE PRESIDENT PROPOSED HIS DETAILED BUDGET. 125 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,129 THREE WEEKS AGO, THE PRESIDENT PROPOSED HIS DETAILED BUDGET. 126 00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:58,564 AND SO FAR, IT'S BEEN CRICKETS FROM THE GUY HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE 127 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,000 NEGOTIATING WITH, SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE 128 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,334 NEGOTIATING WITH, SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE 129 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:04,170 KEVIN McCARTHY, SEEN HERE SAYING "THAT GUY! 130 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,000 HE'S SPARTACUS!" AFTER WEEKS OF REFUSING TO 131 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,574 HE'S SPARTACUS!" AFTER WEEKS OF REFUSING TO 132 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,811 RELEASE ANY REPUBLICAN PLAN, YESTERDAY McCARTHY SENT 133 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:12,000 THE PRESIDENT A BLAME LETTER, WRITING, "WITH EACH PASSING DAY, 134 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,048 THE PRESIDENT A BLAME LETTER, WRITING, "WITH EACH PASSING DAY, 135 00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,650 I AM INCREDIBLY CONCERNED THAT YOU ARE PUTTING AN ALREADY 136 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:18,000 FRAGILE ECONOMY IN JEOPARDY." NO, YOU'RE NOT. 137 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,187 FRAGILE ECONOMY IN JEOPARDY." NO, YOU'RE NOT. 138 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,000 YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW? BECAUSE YOU EXPRESSED YOUR 139 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,491 YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW? BECAUSE YOU EXPRESSED YOUR 140 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:28,461 CONCERN IN THE SLOWEST FORM OF THE SLOWEST POSSIBLE FORM 141 00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,000 OF COMMUNICATION: A LETTER. THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "OH, NO, 142 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,732 OF COMMUNICATION: A LETTER. THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "OH, NO, 143 00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:33,900 THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! QUICK! 144 00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:35,401 SOMEONE HIRE A BARBERSHOP QUARTET TO TELL 145 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:36,000 THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! ♪ BA BUM BUM BUM, 146 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,605 THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! ♪ BA BUM BUM BUM, 147 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:42,000 ♪ GUESS WHAT'S HAPPENING ♪ WAY DOWN THE STREET, 148 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:42,075 ♪ GUESS WHAT'S HAPPENING ♪ WAY DOWN THE STREET, 149 00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:45,511 ♪ BA BUM BUM BUM ♪ 2034 MAPLE... 150 00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:48,000 THE SMOKY SMELL ♪ IS NOT FIRE ♪ 151 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:54,000 THE SMOKY SMELL ♪ IS NOT FIRE ♪ 152 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:54,253 THE SMOKY SMELL ♪ IS NOT FIRE ♪ 153 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,557 BARBERSHOP QUARTET NEVER DESERVES APPLAUSE. 154 00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:58,991 THE DUMB LETTER'S NOT AN ISOLATED INCIDENT. 155 00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:00,000 AT A RECENT LUNCH AT THE CAPITOL, McCARTHY 156 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,993 AT A RECENT LUNCH AT THE CAPITOL, McCARTHY 157 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:05,998 ASKED BIDEN WHEN THE TWO COULD SIT DOWN AGAIN AND START 158 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:07,233 NEGOTIATING, AND BIDEN REPLIED, "WHERE'S THE REPUBLICAN 159 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:11,971 BUDGET?" YEAH, WHERE IS IT?3 160 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,239 YEAH, YOU CAN'T START NEGOTIATING IF YOU WON'T SAY 161 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:17,710 WHAT YOU WANNA NEGOTIATE! THERE'S A REASON RANSOM NOTES 162 00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:18,000 DON'T SAY, "WE HAVE YOUR WIFE. 163 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,145 DON'T SAY, "WE HAVE YOUR WIFE. 164 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,580 SEND A LIST OF WHAT YOU THINK WE SHOULD DEMAND 165 00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,014 OR SHE... UH.... 166 00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:23,449 OKAY. ALSO TELL US WHAT YOU THINK WE 167 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:24,000 SHOULD DO TO HER!" THERE'S SOME NEWS OUT OF 168 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:29,422 SHOULD DO TO HER!" THERE'S SOME NEWS OUT OF 169 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:30,000 FLORIDA. DON'T WORRY. 170 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,492 FLORIDA. DON'T WORRY. 171 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,927 THEY WERE ABLE TO SAFELY EXTRACT THE BABY ALLIGATOR 172 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,000 FROM THE MARGARITA MACHINE. BUT ALSO, A FLORIDA SCHOOL 173 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,030 FROM THE MARGARITA MACHINE. BUT ALSO, A FLORIDA SCHOOL 174 00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:42,000 BANNED A DISNEY MOVIE AFTER A PARENT COMPLAINT. 175 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,269 BANNED A DISNEY MOVIE AFTER A PARENT COMPLAINT. 176 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,104 THE MOVIE WAS "RUBY BRIDGES", A HISTORICAL 177 00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,774 DRAMA ABOUT 6-YEAR-OLD BRIDGES INTEGRATING A NEW ORLEANS 178 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,000 ELEMENTARY SCHOOL IN 1960. THE FILM HAS BEEN PART OF THIS 179 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:52,812 ELEMENTARY SCHOOL IN 1960. THE FILM HAS BEEN PART OF THIS 180 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,000 SCHOOL DISTRICT'S CURRICULUM FOR DECADES, BUT THIS YEAR, A PARENT 181 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,082 SCHOOL DISTRICT'S CURRICULUM FOR DECADES, BUT THIS YEAR, A PARENT 182 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,185 REFUSED TO LET HER CHILD SEE THE MOVIE AND MADE A FORMAL 183 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,000 COMPLAINT STATING -- AND THESE ARE 184 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,321 COMPLAINT STATING -- AND THESE ARE 185 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:03,990 THE PARENT'S WORDS -- THE FILM, QUOTE: 186 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:06,000 "TEACHING THEM RACIAL SLUR." KIDS SHOULDN'T LEARN RACIAL SLUR 187 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,727 "TEACHING THEM RACIAL SLUR." KIDS SHOULDN'T LEARN RACIAL SLUR 188 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,162 FROM SCHOOL MOVIE. THEY SHOULD LEARN FROM 189 00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:12,000 YOUTUBE COMMENT! RUBY BRIDGES' STORY IS IMPORTANT 190 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:12,932 YOUTUBE COMMENT! RUBY BRIDGES' STORY IS IMPORTANT 191 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,302 FOR KIDS TO LEARN, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO. 192 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,000 IN FACT, BRIDGES IS STILL A CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVIST. 193 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:18,538 IN FACT, BRIDGES IS STILL A CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVIST. 194 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:22,909 SHE'S ONLY 68 YEARS OLD. YOU CAN'T ACT LIKE THIS IS 195 00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:24,000 ANCIENT HISTORY! 68 YEARS OLD. 196 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:29,382 ANCIENT HISTORY! 68 YEARS OLD. 197 00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:30,000 SHE'S THE SAME AGE AS SEINFELD! YOU WOULDN'T SAY, 198 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,151 SHE'S THE SAME AGE AS SEINFELD! YOU WOULDN'T SAY, 199 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:35,421 "GATHER AROUND, CHILDREN, AND I'LL TELL YOU THE LEGEND 200 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,000 OF JERRY AND HIS PUFFY SHIRT." SOMEBODY HIT THE BASS. 201 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:42,000 OF JERRY AND HIS PUFFY SHIRT." SOMEBODY HIT THE BASS. 202 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,065 OF JERRY AND HIS PUFFY SHIRT." SOMEBODY HIT THE BASS. 203 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,466 ♪ ♪ THANK YOU. 204 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,000 THIS COMPLAINT IS ESPECIALLY STUPID DUMB, BECAUSE THE MOVIE 205 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,537 THIS COMPLAINT IS ESPECIALLY STUPID DUMB, BECAUSE THE MOVIE 206 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:53,039 IS AN HOUR AND A HALF LONG, BUT THE PARENT ONLY WATCHED 207 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,000 THE FIRST 50 MINUTES. I'M GONNA SAY THAT SEEING THE 208 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,844 THE FIRST 50 MINUTES. I'M GONNA SAY THAT SEEING THE 209 00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:00,000 WHOLE STORY'S KIND OF IMPORTANT. FILING THIS COMPLAINT IS LIKE 210 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,315 WHOLE STORY'S KIND OF IMPORTANT. FILING THIS COMPLAINT IS LIKE 211 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,951 REVIEWING THE WIZARD OF OZ WITH "THIS 25 MINUTE BLACK AND WHITE 212 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,000 TORNADO FILM IS A TOTAL SNOOZE FEST. 213 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:06,485 TORNADO FILM IS A TOTAL SNOOZE FEST. 214 00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:12,000 KANSAS SUCKS." FLORIDA. 215 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:12,124 KANSAS SUCKS." FLORIDA. 216 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:17,463 I GOT ANOTHER ONE. FLORIDA'S NOT THE ONLY STATE 217 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:18,000 BANNING WONDERFUL THINGS. BECAUSE RECENTLY, 218 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,132 BANNING WONDERFUL THINGS. BECAUSE RECENTLY, 219 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:23,002 IN A WISCONSIN SCHOOL, FIRST GRADERS WERE NOT ALLOWED 220 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,000 TO SING A "CONTROVERSIAL" DOLLY PARTON SONG ABOUT 221 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,738 TO SING A "CONTROVERSIAL" DOLLY PARTON SONG ABOUT 222 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:28,941 ACCEPTANCE. CONTROVERSIAL? 223 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,000 ABOUT DOLLY PARTON? SHE'S A BEING OF ETERNAL LIGHT 224 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,378 ABOUT DOLLY PARTON? SHE'S A BEING OF ETERNAL LIGHT 225 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,948 AND RHINESTONES! THE ONLY CONTROVERSY ABOUT 226 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:40,086 DOLLY PARTON IS "IS SHE THE BEST PERSON NOW?" 227 00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,120 OR "IS SHE ALWAYS GONNA BE THE BEST PERSON FOREVER 228 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,000 AND EVER AMEN?" HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED. 229 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,157 AND EVER AMEN?" HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED. 230 00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:48,000 A FIRST-GRADE TEACHER WANTED HER STUDENTS TO SING A LOVELY SONG 231 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,662 A FIRST-GRADE TEACHER WANTED HER STUDENTS TO SING A LOVELY SONG 232 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,231 "RAINBOWLAND" BY DOLLY PARTON AND MILEY CYRUS, WHICH SCHOOL 233 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,499 OFFICIALS DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE. 234 00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:54,000 SO LET'S HEAR THESE DANGEROUS LYRICS. 235 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,570 SO LET'S HEAR THESE DANGEROUS LYRICS. 236 00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:59,505 >> ♪ LIVING IN A RAINBOWLAND ♪ THE SKIES ARE BLUE AND 237 00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:00,000 ♪ THINGS ARE GRAND ♪ WOULDN'T IT BE NICE TO 238 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,943 ♪ THINGS ARE GRAND ♪ WOULDN'T IT BE NICE TO 239 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,000 ♪ LIVE IN PARADISE ♪ WHERE WE'RE FREE TO BE 240 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:11,851 ♪ LIVE IN PARADISE ♪ WHERE WE'RE FREE TO BE 241 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:12,000 >> Stephen: THEY'RE AFRAID OF RAINBOWS AND BEING FREE TO 242 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,421 >> Stephen: THEY'RE AFRAID OF RAINBOWS AND BEING FREE TO 243 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,590 BE EXACTLY WHO WE ARE. THESE ARE PEOPLE WEREN'T 244 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:18,000 HUGGED ENOUGH AS CHILDREN. BUT YOU KNOW WHO WOULD HUG THEM? 245 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:18,991 HUGGED ENOUGH AS CHILDREN. BUT YOU KNOW WHO WOULD HUG THEM? 246 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:24,000 DOLLY PARTON. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 247 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,366 DOLLY PARTON. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 248 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:30,000 IN ADDITION TO "RAINBOWLAND," THE DISTRICT ALSO INITIALLY 249 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,872 IN ADDITION TO "RAINBOWLAND," THE DISTRICT ALSO INITIALLY 250 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,308 BLOCKED THE MUPPET SONG "RAINBOW CONNECTION." 251 00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:36,000 ALTHOUGH THEY LATER WENT BACK ON THAT RULING ONCE THEY LEARNED 252 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,343 ALTHOUGH THEY LATER WENT BACK ON THAT RULING ONCE THEY LEARNED 253 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,445 THAT KERMIT AND MISS PIGGY ARE IN A TRADITIONAL 254 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:42,000 FROG-PIG SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, AS GOD INTENDED. 255 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,618 FROG-PIG SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, AS GOD INTENDED. 256 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:48,000 NOW, UNSURPRISINGLY, SOME PARENTS OUT THERE 257 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:48,788 NOW, UNSURPRISINGLY, SOME PARENTS OUT THERE 258 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,823 SPECULATED THE BAN ON BOTH RAINBOW SONGS WAS PART OF 259 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:54,000 A GREATER CRACKDOWN WITHIN THE SCHOOL DISTRICT ON LGBTQ ISSUES. 260 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,429 A GREATER CRACKDOWN WITHIN THE SCHOOL DISTRICT ON LGBTQ ISSUES. 261 00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:58,030 YES, BECAUSE ALL RAINBOWS ARE GAY. 262 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,000 THAT'S WHY THE SCHOOL VENDING MACHINE ONLY SERVES 263 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,434 THAT'S WHY THE SCHOOL VENDING MACHINE ONLY SERVES 264 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:06,000 GRAY SKITTLES WITH THE SLOGAN "TASTE THE HETERO!" 265 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:12,000 GRAY SKITTLES WITH THE SLOGAN "TASTE THE HETERO!" 266 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,081 GRAY SKITTLES WITH THE SLOGAN "TASTE THE HETERO!" 267 00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:16,549 I'M SORRY, I'M BEING TOLD THAT WE HAVE A BREAKING 268 00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:18,000 NEWS ALERT! WE CAN NOW CONFIRM MULTIPLE 269 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,020 NEWS ALERT! WE CAN NOW CONFIRM MULTIPLE 270 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:24,000 OUTLETS ARE REPORTING. DO NOT COPY GWYNETH PALTROW 271 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:24,790 OUTLETS ARE REPORTING. DO NOT COPY GWYNETH PALTROW 272 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:30,000 AND BLOW OZONE GAS UP YOUR BUTT. THIS IS A VOLATILE 273 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,963 AND BLOW OZONE GAS UP YOUR BUTT. THIS IS A VOLATILE 274 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,999 AND ONGOING SITUATION, SO IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN IN THE ROOM, 275 00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:36,000 LET THEM STAY, BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA LOVE THESE BUTT JOKES. 276 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,603 LET THEM STAY, BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA LOVE THESE BUTT JOKES. 277 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:42,000 HERE'S WHAT'S HAPPENING. THIS ACTUAL NEWS STORY. 278 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,142 HERE'S WHAT'S HAPPENING. THIS ACTUAL NEWS STORY. 279 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,710 EARLIER THIS MONTH, GWYNETH WENT ON A PODCAST AND MADE THE 280 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:48,000 FOLLOWING CONFESSION. >> WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST WELLNESS 281 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:48,414 FOLLOWING CONFESSION. >> WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST WELLNESS 282 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:54,000 THING YOU'VE EVER DONE? >> I HAVE USED OZONE THERAPY 283 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,255 THING YOU'VE EVER DONE? >> I HAVE USED OZONE THERAPY 284 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,991 UH, RECTALLY. IT'S PRETTY WEIRD. 285 00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,000 >> IT'S PRETTY WEIRD, YEAH. >> BUT VERY, IT'S BEEN 286 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,793 >> IT'S PRETTY WEIRD, YEAH. >> BUT VERY, IT'S BEEN 287 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:05,898 VERY HELPFUL. 'S 288 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:06,000 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: NO, I'M SURE IT IS 289 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,766 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: NO, I'M SURE IT IS 290 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,034 HELPFUL. SOMETIMES YOU NEED A 291 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:11,604 LITTLE SPRITZ OF AIR TO KNOCK OUT THAT JADE EGG. 292 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:12,000 TURNS OUT, LOOK IT UP. IT'S A THING. 293 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:18,000 TURNS OUT, LOOK IT UP. IT'S A THING. 294 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:18,744 TURNS OUT, LOOK IT UP. IT'S A THING. 295 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,046 THIS OZONE THING IS A THING. 296 00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:21,380 ACCORDING TO THE CLEVELAND CLINIC, 297 00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:22,915 MEDICAL-GRADE OZONE GAS, ADMINISTERED THROUGH AN 298 00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:24,000 OZONE-GENERATOR DEVICE, CAN BE INSERTED IN YOUR BODY IN MANY 299 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,788 OZONE-GENERATOR DEVICE, CAN BE INSERTED IN YOUR BODY IN MANY 300 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,000 WAYS. ESPECIALLY AFTER THE 301 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:30,423 WAYS. ESPECIALLY AFTER THE 302 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:34,326 OZONE-GENERATOR DEVICE HAS A COUPLE GLASSES OF WINE. 303 00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,000 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD DO IT. 304 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:36,796 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD DO IT. 305 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,665 OZONE IS A TOXIC GAS THAT IS MOST FAMOUS FOR BLOCKING 306 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:42,000 SOLAR RADIATION. SO WHY WOULD YOU STICK IT 307 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:42,401 SOLAR RADIATION. SO WHY WOULD YOU STICK IT 308 00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:48,000 WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE? >> DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. 309 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:53,746 WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE? >> DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. 310 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:54,000 >> Stephen: BUT RECTAL OZONE HAS ALREADY HAD ONE BENEFIT. 311 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,948 >> Stephen: BUT RECTAL OZONE HAS ALREADY HAD ONE BENEFIT. 312 00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:59,151 IT'S INSPIRED GWYNETH'S HOTTEST GOOP PRODUCT, "THIS CANDLE 313 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,000 SMELLS LIKE THE OZONE THAT'S BEEN IN MY BUTT." 314 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,420 SMELLS LIKE THE OZONE THAT'S BEEN IN MY BUTT." 315 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,823 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 316 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,000 MY GUESTS ARE TARON EGERTON AND COMEDIAN JAY CHANDRASEKHAR. 317 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,628 MY GUESTS ARE TARON EGERTON AND COMEDIAN JAY CHANDRASEKHAR. 318 00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:12,000 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, MY WIFE, EVIE, AND I HAVE SOME 319 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,399 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, MY WIFE, EVIE, AND I HAVE SOME 320 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:18,000 FIRST DRAFTS OF EASTER CARDS. STICK AROUND. 321 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:18,404 FIRST DRAFTS OF EASTER CARDS. STICK AROUND. 322 00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:48,000 ♪ ♪ 323 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:53,072 ♪ ♪ 324 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:54,000 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 325 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:54,773 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 326 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,842 GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND RIGHT THE 327 00:12:56,909 --> 00:13:00,000 THERE. LOUIS, WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SHOW 328 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,349 THERE. LOUIS, WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SHOW 329 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:06,000 FOR EVERYBODY TONIGHT. HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE "KINGSMAN" 330 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:06,185 FOR EVERYBODY TONIGHT. HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE "KINGSMAN" 331 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,487 MOVIES? TARON EGERTON WILL BE HERE. 332 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:12,000 ALSO "ROCKET MAN." HE'S GOT THAT NEW MOVIE, 333 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,292 ALSO "ROCKET MAN." HE'S GOT THAT NEW MOVIE, 334 00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:17,863 "TETRIS." IT'S ABOUT THE GAME, TETRIS. 335 00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:18,000 >> Louis: I HEARD. >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW THE 336 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,699 >> Louis: I HEARD. >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW THE 337 00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:24,000 ONE HE PLAYS. I HOPE IT'S THE ONE THAT DOES 338 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:24,170 ONE HE PLAYS. I HOPE IT'S THE ONE THAT DOES 339 00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:25,638 THIS. AND THE COMEDIAN JAY 340 00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:30,000 CHANDRASEKHAR WILL BE OUT HERE. FOLKS, IT'S ALMOST EASTER, 341 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:36,000 CHANDRASEKHAR WILL BE OUT HERE. FOLKS, IT'S ALMOST EASTER, 342 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,116 CHANDRASEKHAR WILL BE OUT HERE. FOLKS, IT'S ALMOST EASTER, 343 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,651 WHEN CHRISTIANS SOLEMNLY SIT THROUGH EASTER MASS, 344 00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:41,987 REFLECTING ON HOW WE'RE GONNA GO TO BRUNCH AND EAT A COUCH 345 00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:43,689 CUSHION WORTH OF WAFFLES. EASTER ALSO MEANS 346 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:48,000 EASTER CARDS. BUT NOT EVERY CARD GETS IT RIGHT 347 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:48,527 EASTER CARDS. BUT NOT EVERY CARD GETS IT RIGHT 348 00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:51,597 ON THE FIRST TRY, SO WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THOSE EARLY 349 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,000 ATTEMPTS TONIGHT IN OUR SEGMENT, "FIRST DRAFTS." 350 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,469 ATTEMPTS TONIGHT IN OUR SEGMENT, "FIRST DRAFTS." 351 00:13:57,536 --> 00:14:00,000 >> NO! STUPID! 352 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:06,000 >> NO! STUPID! 353 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,315 >> NO! STUPID! 354 00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:11,217 >> Stephen: OF COURSE I CANNOT DO FIRST DRAFTS ABOUT THE HELP 355 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,000 OF MY LOVELY WIFE, EVIE McGEE, EVERYBODY. 356 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:18,000 OF MY LOVELY WIFE, EVIE McGEE, EVERYBODY. 357 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,327 OF MY LOVELY WIFE, EVIE McGEE, EVERYBODY. 358 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:24,000 >> Evie: HELLO. HELLO. 359 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,164 >> Evie: HELLO. HELLO. 360 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:28,801 THANK YOU. HI. 361 00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:30,000 >> Stephen: COUNSELOR, I LOVE YOUR SUIT. 362 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,470 >> Stephen: COUNSELOR, I LOVE YOUR SUIT. 363 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,739 THAT'S VERY NICE. NICE TO SEE YOU. 364 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,000 >> Evie: DON'T MESS WITH ME. >> Stephen: I NEVER DO. 365 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:36,909 >> Evie: DON'T MESS WITH ME. >> Stephen: I NEVER DO. 366 00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,377 DARLING. >> Evie: YES, SIR. 367 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,246 >> Stephen: ALWAYS LOVELY TO HAVE YOU HERE. 368 00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:42,000 YOU KNOW HOW WE PLAY THIS. >> Evie: I DO. 369 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,016 YOU KNOW HOW WE PLAY THIS. >> Evie: I DO. 370 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,285 >> Stephen: WHAT HAPPENS IS YOU'RE GOING TO AND THESE TO ME 371 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,000 ONE AT A TIME OF THE TOP CARD IS GOING TO BE REALLY LOVELY CARD, 372 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,722 ONE AT A TIME OF THE TOP CARD IS GOING TO BE REALLY LOVELY CARD, 373 00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:53,459 AN EASTER CARD IN THIS CASE, THE KIND YOU WOULD BUY AT A STORE 374 00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:54,000 THAT THE ONE BEHIND IT WILL BE THE FIRST DRAFT OF THE CAR THAT 375 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,296 THAT THE ONE BEHIND IT WILL BE THE FIRST DRAFT OF THE CAR THAT 376 00:14:57,363 --> 00:15:00,000 WAS NOT GOOD AND THEREFORE WAS NOT SOLD. 377 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,633 WAS NOT GOOD AND THEREFORE WAS NOT SOLD. 378 00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:04,637 GOT IT? GIVE IT TO ME. 379 00:15:04,703 --> 00:15:06,000 DOES EVERYONE OUT THERE UNDERSTAND? 380 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:06,238 DOES EVERYONE OUT THERE UNDERSTAND? 381 00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,408 >> Evie: I THINK THEY KNOW. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THROUGH THIS A 382 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,777 LOT NOW. >> Stephen: I JUST NEED VERBAL 383 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:12,000 FEEDBACK. THAT'S ALL. 384 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,646 FEEDBACK. THAT'S ALL. 385 00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:17,383 HERE'S ONE. >> Evie: ARE YOU FEELING 386 00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:18,000 INSECURE? THIS IS A VERY GOOD BIT. 387 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:24,000 INSECURE? THIS IS A VERY GOOD BIT. 388 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:24,356 INSECURE? THIS IS A VERY GOOD BIT. 389 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,458 I'M >> Stephen: REALLY? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT A MAN 390 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:29,695 WHO COMES OUT EVERY NIGHT AND TELLS JOKES TO PEOPLE WHO CHANT 391 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,000 HIS NAME IS INSECURE? OKAY. 392 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,233 HIS NAME IS INSECURE? OKAY. 393 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,000 THIS ONE IS A LITTLE RELIGIOUS. IF I MAY. 394 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,971 THIS ONE IS A LITTLE RELIGIOUS. IF I MAY. 395 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:40,472 IT SAYS, "HE IS ARISEN. 396 00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:42,000 HALLELUJAH!" STRAIGHT AND TO THE POINT. 397 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,410 HALLELUJAH!" STRAIGHT AND TO THE POINT. 398 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:48,000 BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "HE IS ARISEN. 399 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,381 BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "HE IS ARISEN. 400 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:53,952 WAIT, THERE'S A LATER MASS? THEN I'M A-GOIN' BACK TO SLEEP." 401 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:57,156 THAT'S BASED ON A TRUE STORY. >> Evie: THAT'S TRUE. 402 00:15:57,222 --> 00:15:58,957 DID YOU HEAR THE POPE IS IN THE HOSPITAL? 403 00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,000 >> Stephen: WHAT? HOW MUCH IN THE HOSPITAL? 404 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,627 >> Stephen: WHAT? HOW MUCH IN THE HOSPITAL? 405 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,029 >> Evie: RESPIRATORY INFECTION IS WHAT I READ. 406 00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:06,000 >> Stephen: HE'LL BE FINED. >> Evie: IT'S A BIG WEEK FOR 407 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:06,598 >> Stephen: HE'LL BE FINED. >> Evie: IT'S A BIG WEEK FOR 408 00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:09,668 HIM. IT'S HIS BIGGEST WEEK. 409 00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:12,000 >> Stephen: SUNDAYS HIS BIGGEST WEEK, THE START. 410 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,038 >> Stephen: SUNDAYS HIS BIGGEST WEEK, THE START. 411 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:17,242 HE WILL PULL IT OUT. HE IS THE POPE. 412 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,000 YOU SCARED ME. I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE 413 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:18,877 YOU SCARED ME. I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE 414 00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:22,047 LIKE HE IS IN THERE AND HE'S NOT COMING OUT. 415 00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:24,000 >> Evie: NOEL. HOPEFULLY NOT. 416 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:24,850 >> Evie: NOEL. HOPEFULLY NOT. 417 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:29,922 >> Stephen: HOPEFULLY NOT. >> Evie: [LAUGHS] 418 00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:30,000 >> Stephen: THIS ONE IS GREAT. IT SAYS, 419 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,525 >> Stephen: THIS ONE IS GREAT. IT SAYS, 420 00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:36,000 "YOU'RE ONE OF THE BEST PEEPS. HAPPY EASTER!" 421 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,629 "YOU'RE ONE OF THE BEST PEEPS. HAPPY EASTER!" 422 00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:39,965 >> Evie: YOU LOVE PEEPS. THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE. 423 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:42,000 IT IS JOHN'S FAVORITE. OUR SON, JOHN. 424 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,404 IT IS JOHN'S FAVORITE. OUR SON, JOHN. 425 00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:47,806 >> Stephen: I LOVE OUR CONVERSATIONS WHEN WE ARE DOING 426 00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:48,000 THIS. IT'S REALLY MORE IMPORTANT TO ME 427 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,208 THIS. IT'S REALLY MORE IMPORTANT TO ME 428 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:51,977 THAN THE JOKES. THE FACT THAT YOU AND I GET A 429 00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:54,000 CHANCE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER. DON'T THROW THE CARDS AWAY. 430 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:54,913 CHANCE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER. DON'T THROW THE CARDS AWAY. 431 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:58,650 BUT I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME. 432 00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:00,000 BUT IF HE COULD NOT BE BETWEEN THE SET UP IN THE PUNCH LINE. 433 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,988 BUT IF HE COULD NOT BE BETWEEN THE SET UP IN THE PUNCH LINE. 434 00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:05,824 THAT WOULD BE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 435 00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:06,000 THAT'S ALL. AND THEN WE CAN TALK FOR AS LONG 436 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,362 THAT'S ALL. AND THEN WE CAN TALK FOR AS LONG 437 00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:12,000 GREAT. BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID. 438 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:16,502 GREAT. BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID. 439 00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:18,000 >> Evie: BY THE WAY. >> Stephen: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT 440 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:18,303 >> Evie: BY THE WAY. >> Stephen: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT 441 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:22,040 THE POPE? BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID 442 00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,475 "YOU'RE ONE OF THE BEST PEEPS. WHICH MEANS YOU STILL 443 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:24,000 KIND OF SUCK." PEEPS AREN'T GOOD. 444 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,580 KIND OF SUCK." PEEPS AREN'T GOOD. 445 00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:30,000 THEY'RE NOT. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR 446 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:36,000 THEY'RE NOT. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR 447 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,221 THEY'RE NOT. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR 448 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:39,258 EASTER THIS YEAR? BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WANT TO TALK. 449 00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:42,000 >> Evie: WE CAN TALK. >> Stephen: DARLING, WE CAN 450 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:42,027 >> Evie: WE CAN TALK. >> Stephen: DARLING, WE CAN 451 00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:45,097 TALK ANYTIME YOU WANT. WE WILL EDIT IT OUT LATER. 452 00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:48,000 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? DO YOU THINK THE KIDS ARE GOING 453 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:48,267 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? DO YOU THINK THE KIDS ARE GOING 454 00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:52,070 TO JOIN US FOR EASTER? >> Evie: I DO. 455 00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:53,639 ALL SIGNS LEAD TO YES. >> Stephen: INCLUDING OUR 456 00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:54,000 YOUNGEST WHO IS IN COLLEGE. DO YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO COME 457 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,041 YOUNGEST WHO IS IN COLLEGE. DO YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO COME 458 00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:58,477 BACK? WHAT LEADS YOU TO BELIEVE THAT. 459 00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:00,000 >> Evie: HE SAID HE WOULD TRY. >> Stephen: HERE IS A CUTE 460 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,682 >> Evie: HE SAID HE WOULD TRY. >> Stephen: HERE IS A CUTE 461 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:04,483 ONE. "HAPPY EASTER. 462 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:05,884 OH, BOY! LOOK WHAT OUR LITTLE 463 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:06,000 EASTER DOGGIE BROUGHT US!" DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS 464 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:11,089 EASTER DOGGIE BROUGHT US!" DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS 465 00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:12,000 BUT IT'S QUITE SWEET. BUT HERE'S THE FIRST DRAFT. 466 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,127 BUT IT'S QUITE SWEET. BUT HERE'S THE FIRST DRAFT. 467 00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,395 "HAPPY EASTER. OH, GOD! 468 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:17,563 BANJO ATE THE CHOCOLATE! I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE THE 469 00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:18,000 BASKET ON THE COFFEE TABLE, YOU IDIOT! 470 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,064 BASKET ON THE COFFEE TABLE, YOU IDIOT! 471 00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:24,000 GET HIM TO THE CAR!" >> Evie: THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. 472 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,937 GET HIM TO THE CAR!" >> Evie: THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. 473 00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:28,941 >> Stephen: IT DID. THAT DID HAPPEN TO ME. 474 00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:30,000 SOMEONE I DATED BEFORE YOU, AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THERE WAS 475 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,176 SOMEONE I DATED BEFORE YOU, AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THERE WAS 476 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:35,047 SOMEONE BEFORE YOU, BUT HER DOG -- 477 00:18:35,113 --> 00:18:36,000 I NEVER HAD A DOG. I DO KNOW DOGS COULDN'T EAT 478 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,615 I NEVER HAD A DOG. I DO KNOW DOGS COULDN'T EAT 479 00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:39,918 CHOCOLATE SO I LEFT MY EASTER BASKET ON THE FLOOR AND THE DOG 480 00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:42,000 CAME ALONG AND ATE ALL OF IT. WE DID NOT DATE MUCH LONG AFTER 481 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,755 CAME ALONG AND ATE ALL OF IT. WE DID NOT DATE MUCH LONG AFTER 482 00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:46,024 THAT. HOW ABOUT THIS ONE, DO YOU WANT 483 00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:48,000 TO EAT AT HOME OR DO YOU WANT TO TRY TO GET A BRUNCH RESERVATION? 484 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,127 TO EAT AT HOME OR DO YOU WANT TO TRY TO GET A BRUNCH RESERVATION? 485 00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:51,597 >> Evie I THINK AT THIS POINT WE HAVE TO BE AT HOME. 486 00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:53,765 WHO IS GOING TO HAVE US? IT'S TOO LATE. 487 00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:54,000 >> Stephen: WHO IS GOING TO HAVE US? 488 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:54,800 >> Stephen: WHO IS GOING TO HAVE US? 489 00:18:54,867 --> 00:19:00,000 I'M STEPHEN COLBERT. WE CAN GET INTO TGI FRIDAY'S. 490 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,908 I'M STEPHEN COLBERT. WE CAN GET INTO TGI FRIDAY'S. 491 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,643 COME ON. ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE. 492 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,000 THIS ONE IS ADORABLE. "A TISKET, A TASKET. 493 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,881 THIS ONE IS ADORABLE. "A TISKET, A TASKET. 494 00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:12,000 YOU FOUND YOUR EASTER BASKET!" SO CUTE. 495 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,485 YOU FOUND YOUR EASTER BASKET!" SO CUTE. 496 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,687 BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "A TISKET, A TASKET. 497 00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,322 YOUR EASTER BASKET IS THE FIRST IN A SERIES OF CLUES. 498 00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:18,000 GO TO THE OLD CHURCH AT DAWN IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR 499 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:18,924 GO TO THE OLD CHURCH AT DAWN IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR 500 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:23,695 HUSBAND AGAIN." THAT'S SO DARK. 501 00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:24,000 THAT'S WHY THEY DIDN'T SELL THAT ONE. 502 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,365 THAT'S WHY THEY DIDN'T SELL THAT ONE. 503 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,634 THE SECOND ONE IS NOT THE GOOD ONE. 504 00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:30,000 >> Evie: THE QUESTION IS, WHAT CHURCH ARE WE GOING TO GO TO? 505 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,404 >> Evie: THE QUESTION IS, WHAT CHURCH ARE WE GOING TO GO TO? 506 00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:35,274 >> Stephen: A CATHOLIC CHURCH. WE DON'T HAVE TO DO. 507 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,000 WE CAN GO TO A PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. 508 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:36,708 WE CAN GO TO A PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. 509 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,277 EVIE'S PRESBYTERIAN. I'M CATHOLIC. 510 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:42,000 I WILL MISS YOU. THIS ONE HAS A NICE PICTURE 511 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,217 I WILL MISS YOU. THIS ONE HAS A NICE PICTURE 512 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,119 OF A CROSS AND INSIDE IT SAYS, "LET TH LOVE OF THE RISEN LORD 513 00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:48,000 LIFT YOU UP TODAY AND ALL DAYS" THIS ONE IS VERY NICE. 514 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:53,492 LIFT YOU UP TODAY AND ALL DAYS" THIS ONE IS VERY NICE. 515 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:54,000 BUT THE FIRST DRAFT HAD THE SAME PICTURE OF THE CROSS 516 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:54,893 BUT THE FIRST DRAFT HAD THE SAME PICTURE OF THE CROSS 517 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,297 AND SAID "HAS ANYONE SEEN MY RED SCARF?" 518 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,000 WAIT A SECOND. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 519 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:06,000 WAIT A SECOND. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 520 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:11,944 WAIT A SECOND. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 521 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,513 I'M SURE SOME OF YOU ARE SAYING, "HEY, STEVE, I'D LOVE TO GIVE MY 522 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,415 LOVED ONES TERRIBLE GREETING CARDS." 523 00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:18,000 WELL, NOW YOU CAN. BECAUSE YOU CAN ORDER YOUR VERY 524 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,117 WELL, NOW YOU CAN. BECAUSE YOU CAN ORDER YOUR VERY 525 00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:22,387 OWN SET OF "FIRST DRAFTS" CARDS. ALL LATE SHOW PROCEEDS 526 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,000 GO TO OUR FRIENDS AT WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN, 527 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:24,723 GO TO OUR FRIENDS AT WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN, 528 00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,259 WHO PROVIDE MEALS FOR PEOPLE IN CRISIS. 529 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:30,000 AND SO FAR, YOU GENEROUS PEOPLE OUT THERE, 530 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,432 AND SO FAR, YOU GENEROUS PEOPLE OUT THERE, 531 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:36,000 YOU HAVE, BY BUYING THESE, RAISED OVER $22,000 TO FEED 532 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:36,134 YOU HAVE, BY BUYING THESE, RAISED OVER $22,000 TO FEED 533 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,704 PEOPLE WHO NEED IT MOST. IF YOU WANT TO HELP OUT AND GET 534 00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:42,000 YOUR OWN "FIRST DRAFTS" CARDS, GO TO ColbertLat 535 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:42,474 YOUR OWN "FIRST DRAFTS" CARDS, GO TO ColbertLat 536 00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:43,542 COLBERTLATESHOW.COM/FIRST DRAFTS 537 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:47,913 OR SCAN THIS QR CODE. EACH BOX COMES WITH TWO CARDS 538 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:48,000 FOR EACH OF SIX DIFFERENT HOLIDAYS. 539 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,281 FOR EACH OF SIX DIFFERENT HOLIDAYS. 540 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:50,248 AND, AS ALWAYS: EVIE NOT INCLUDED. 541 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:54,000 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH TARON EGERTON. 542 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:54,119 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH TARON EGERTON. 543 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:57,623 THANK YOU, DARLING. 544 00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:06,000 ♪ ♪ 545 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:11,103 ♪ ♪ 546 00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:12,000 >> Stephen: WE ARE BACK EVERYBODY. 547 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:12,437 >> Stephen: WE ARE BACK EVERYBODY. 548 00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:16,241 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST 549 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,000 FROM THE "KINGSMAN" MOVIES, "BLACK BIRD," AND "ROCKETMAN." 550 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:18,110 FROM THE "KINGSMAN" MOVIES, "BLACK BIRD," AND "ROCKETMAN." 551 00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:24,000 HE NOW STARS IN "TETRIS." >> THIS IS IT. 552 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,817 HE NOW STARS IN "TETRIS." >> THIS IS IT. 553 00:21:25,884 --> 00:21:30,000 >> THE ORIGINAL? >> AMAZING. 554 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:36,000 >> THE ORIGINAL? >> AMAZING. 555 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,766 >> THE ORIGINAL? >> AMAZING. 556 00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:42,000 >> THE ORIGINAL? >> AMAZING. 557 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,669 >> THE ORIGINAL? >> AMAZING. 558 00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:48,000 >> CAN I PLAY? >> YES. 559 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:54,000 >> CAN I PLAY? >> YES. 560 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,649 >> CAN I PLAY? >> YES. 561 00:21:57,716 --> 00:22:00,000 >> IT'S ALWAYS BEEN BUGGING ME, WHY CAN'T THE LINES DISAPPEAR AT 562 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:00,152 >> IT'S ALWAYS BEEN BUGGING ME, WHY CAN'T THE LINES DISAPPEAR AT 563 00:22:00,218 --> 00:22:05,791 ONCE INSTEAD OF ONE AT A TIME? >> I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. 564 00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:06,000 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TARON EGERTON! 565 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:12,000 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TARON EGERTON! 566 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,934 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TARON EGERTON! 567 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,000 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. >> Taron: HELLO. 568 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:24,000 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. >> Taron: HELLO. 569 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,779 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. >> Taron: HELLO. 570 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:30,000 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Stephen: LOVELY TO HAVE YOU 571 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,585 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Stephen: LOVELY TO HAVE YOU 572 00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,821 ON. I'VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO 573 00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:36,000 INTERVIEW YOU BEFORE. >> Taron: NO, I'VE NEVER DONE 574 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,355 INTERVIEW YOU BEFORE. >> Taron: NO, I'VE NEVER DONE 575 00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,591 THIS. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ARRIVED. 576 00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:42,000 THIS IS LOVELY. >> Stephen: I FEEL MUCH THE 577 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:42,961 THIS IS LOVELY. >> Stephen: I FEEL MUCH THE 578 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,429 SAME WAY. THANK YOU. 579 00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:46,398 PEOPLE KNOW YOU FROM "ROCKETMAN." 580 00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:48,000 YOU PLAYED ELTON JOHN SO BEAUTIFULLY AND YOU RECENTLY 581 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,536 YOU PLAYED ELTON JOHN SO BEAUTIFULLY AND YOU RECENTLY 582 00:22:51,603 --> 00:22:54,000 POSTED THIS ON ELTON JOHN'S BIRTHDAY. 583 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:54,206 POSTED THIS ON ELTON JOHN'S BIRTHDAY. 584 00:22:54,272 --> 00:22:58,610 YOU SAID, YOU SAID, YOU KNOW, YOU SAID IN HONOR OF YOUR 585 00:22:58,677 --> 00:23:00,000 BIRTHDAY. >> Taron: YEAH, IN HONOR OF 586 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,246 BIRTHDAY. >> Taron: YEAH, IN HONOR OF 587 00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:03,715 YOUR 76TH BIRTHDAY COMING IT WAS WHEN I WAS REHEARSING. 588 00:23:03,782 --> 00:23:06,000 ME AND MY TRAILER PLAYING PIANO AND SINGING A LITTLE BIT. 589 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,754 ME AND MY TRAILER PLAYING PIANO AND SINGING A LITTLE BIT. 590 00:23:08,820 --> 00:23:10,989 >> Stephen: HE WROTE BACK TO YOU "I LOVE YOU." 591 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:12,000 EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A MOVIE STAR EVERYTHING LIKE THAT, DOESN'T 592 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,825 EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A MOVIE STAR EVERYTHING LIKE THAT, DOESN'T 593 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:17,462 EVER FIGURE OUT WHEN YOU REALIZE ELTON JOHN LOVES YOU? 594 00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:18,000 THAT SINCE LIKE A REALLY NICE FEELING. 595 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,366 THAT SINCE LIKE A REALLY NICE FEELING. 596 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:24,000 >> Taron: YOU KNOW. I'M QUITE LOVABLE. 597 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,737 >> Taron: YOU KNOW. I'M QUITE LOVABLE. 598 00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:28,840 >> Stephen: HOW COULD HE RESIST, IS WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 599 00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:30,000 WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? >> Taron: OF COURSE IT IS 600 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,176 WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? >> Taron: OF COURSE IT IS 601 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,712 COMPLETELY SURREAL. HE IS A ICON AND WAS A TITANIC 602 00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:36,000 FIGURE IN MY LIFE BEFORE I MET HIM. 603 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:36,214 FIGURE IN MY LIFE BEFORE I MET HIM. 604 00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:40,051 >> Stephen: DID YOU HANG OUT? >> Taron: FROM TIME TO TIME. 605 00:23:40,118 --> 00:23:41,753 HE IS ON A NEVER ENDING WORLD TOUR. 606 00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:42,000 >> Stephen: HAVE YOU SEEN THEM IN CONCERT? 607 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,989 >> Stephen: HAVE YOU SEEN THEM IN CONCERT? 608 00:23:44,055 --> 00:23:46,758 >> Taron: YEAH, MANY TIMES. HE'S AMAZING. 609 00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,000 >> Stephen: YOU GREW UP IN WALES, I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE 610 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,296 >> Stephen: YOU GREW UP IN WALES, I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE 611 00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:53,799 WELSH. BECAUSE EGERTON DOESN'T HAVE 612 00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:54,000 ENOUGH CONSONANTS. BUT THEN YOU WENT TO LONDON, THE 613 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:59,805 ENOUGH CONSONANTS. BUT THEN YOU WENT TO LONDON, THE 614 00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:00,000 ROYAL ACADEMY OF DRAMATIC ARTS. SUPER FANCY. 615 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,375 ROYAL ACADEMY OF DRAMATIC ARTS. SUPER FANCY. 616 00:24:03,441 --> 00:24:06,000 >> Taron: VERY FANCY. >> Stephen: PEOPLE HAVE GONE 617 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,279 >> Taron: VERY FANCY. >> Stephen: PEOPLE HAVE GONE 618 00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:12,000 TO ACTING SCHOOL. I'M CURIOUS IF IT IS OFTEN THEIR 619 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:12,117 TO ACTING SCHOOL. I'M CURIOUS IF IT IS OFTEN THEIR 620 00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:15,821 UNUSUAL ACTING EXERCISES THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO GO THROUGH TO 621 00:24:15,887 --> 00:24:18,000 TEACH THEM SOMETHING SORT OF EPHEMERAL ABOUT CHARACTER OR 622 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,157 TEACH THEM SOMETHING SORT OF EPHEMERAL ABOUT CHARACTER OR 623 00:24:19,224 --> 00:24:21,293 PRESENCE ON STAGE. >> Taron: IS THAT WHAT IT'S 624 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,295 ABOUT? >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW WHAT 625 00:24:23,361 --> 00:24:24,000 IT'S ABOUT. >> Taron: WE DID SOME REAL 626 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,397 IT'S ABOUT. >> Taron: WE DID SOME REAL 627 00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:29,134 WEIRD STUFF. WE DATED, LIGHT, ANIMAL CLASSES. 628 00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:30,000 THAT'S A CLASSIC ONE. >> Stephen: DAMIAN LEWIS WAS 629 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,770 THAT'S A CLASSIC ONE. >> Stephen: DAMIAN LEWIS WAS 630 00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:36,000 TALKING ABOUT DOING THAT. >> Taron: ANIMAL SPYING? 631 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,376 TALKING ABOUT DOING THAT. >> Taron: ANIMAL SPYING? 632 00:24:38,443 --> 00:24:41,479 THAT'S WHAT HE CALLS IT. I HAD TO BE A SLOTH. 633 00:24:41,546 --> 00:24:42,000 I WAS QUITE HIGH ENERGY QUITE PUPPYISH 19-YEAR-OLD. 634 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:46,918 I WAS QUITE HIGH ENERGY QUITE PUPPYISH 19-YEAR-OLD. 635 00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:48,000 THEY MADE ME BE A SLOTH. HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF BEING A 636 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,089 THEY MADE ME BE A SLOTH. HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF BEING A 637 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,157 SLOTH. SOUNDS RIDICULOUS BUT HERE I AM 638 00:24:52,224 --> 00:24:54,000 ON THE COLBERT SHOW. >> Stephen: I'M CURIOUS, HOW 639 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,330 ON THE COLBERT SHOW. >> Stephen: I'M CURIOUS, HOW 640 00:24:58,396 --> 00:25:00,000 CHALLENGING IS IT TO BE A SLOTH? >> Taron: WELL, I THINK IF 641 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,569 CHALLENGING IS IT TO BE A SLOTH? >> Taron: WELL, I THINK IF 642 00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:06,000 YOU'RE AS HIGH-ENERGY AS I WAS AT 20, QUITE CHALLENGING. 643 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,839 YOU'RE AS HIGH-ENERGY AS I WAS AT 20, QUITE CHALLENGING. 644 00:25:07,906 --> 00:25:09,608 >> Stephen: DO YOU STILL HAVE IT? 645 00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:12,000 CAN YOU STILL DO SLOTH? >> Taron: PUT YOUR HAND OUT. 646 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:12,010 CAN YOU STILL DO SLOTH? >> Taron: PUT YOUR HAND OUT. 647 00:25:12,077 --> 00:25:16,281 JUST PUT YOUR HAND OUT. IT'S WEIRD, ISN'T IT? 648 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:18,000 DOES IT FEEL LIKE A SLOTH? >> Stephen: I THOUGHT I WAS 649 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:18,450 DOES IT FEEL LIKE A SLOTH? >> Stephen: I THOUGHT I WAS 650 00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:23,755 GOING TO LOOK UP AND SEE FOR. >> Taron: IT'S THE POWER OF 651 00:25:23,822 --> 00:25:24,000 ACTING. >> Stephen: DID THE TEACHER 652 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,190 ACTING. >> Stephen: DID THE TEACHER 653 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:30,000 EVER SAY, TAKE THAT SLOP INTO DID IT TRANSLATE INTO CHARACTER? 654 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,831 EVER SAY, TAKE THAT SLOP INTO DID IT TRANSLATE INTO CHARACTER? 655 00:25:32,898 --> 00:25:35,400 >> Taron: A WORRYING LACK OF APPLICATION. 656 00:25:35,467 --> 00:25:36,000 >> Stephen: THIS IS THE ROYAL ACADEMY. 657 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:36,968 >> Stephen: THIS IS THE ROYAL ACADEMY. 658 00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:42,000 >> Taron: WE ALSO DID, WE DID HOURS OF MOVEMENT WHICH MAKES 659 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,009 >> Taron: WE ALSO DID, WE DID HOURS OF MOVEMENT WHICH MAKES 660 00:25:44,075 --> 00:25:47,145 SENSE. GETTING IN TUNE WITH THE 661 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:48,000 INSTRUMENT. WE DID ARM SWINGS, ENDLESS ARM 662 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,882 INSTRUMENT. WE DID ARM SWINGS, ENDLESS ARM 663 00:25:50,949 --> 00:25:52,284 SWINGS. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 664 00:25:52,350 --> 00:25:54,000 >> Taron: LIKE THIS. THE KNEES AS WELL. 665 00:25:54,000 --> 00:26:00,000 >> Taron: LIKE THIS. THE KNEES AS WELL. 666 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,326 >> Taron: LIKE THIS. THE KNEES AS WELL. 667 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,528 COME ON. LET'S DO IT TOGETHER. 668 00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:06,000 I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY. AND THEN YOU SWITCH AND YOU 669 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,532 I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY. AND THEN YOU SWITCH AND YOU 670 00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:12,000 SWITCH AND YOU SWITCH. YEAH, AND THEN OCCASIONALLY AS 671 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:17,542 SWITCH AND YOU SWITCH. YEAH, AND THEN OCCASIONALLY AS 672 00:26:17,609 --> 00:26:18,000 WELL IN BETWEEN THE ARM SWINGS, YOU WOULD DO A FLOP FORWARD. 673 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,380 WELL IN BETWEEN THE ARM SWINGS, YOU WOULD DO A FLOP FORWARD. 674 00:26:22,447 --> 00:26:24,000 I'M NOT GOING TO DEMONSTRATE THAT BECAUSE I HAVE HAD TROUSERS 675 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,417 I'M NOT GOING TO DEMONSTRATE THAT BECAUSE I HAVE HAD TROUSERS 676 00:26:25,483 --> 00:26:28,420 EXPLODE ON A TALK SHOW BEFORE. >> Stephen: WE WOULDN'T WANT 677 00:26:28,486 --> 00:26:30,000 YOUR TROUSERS TO EXPLODE. THE RATINGS WOULD BE TOO GOOD 678 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:30,255 YOUR TROUSERS TO EXPLODE. THE RATINGS WOULD BE TOO GOOD 679 00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:35,593 FOR THAT. DID YOU EVER DO THIS ONE? 680 00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:36,000 DID YOU EVER DO THAT ONE, WARM-UP EXERCISE? 681 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,997 DID YOU EVER DO THAT ONE, WARM-UP EXERCISE? 682 00:26:39,064 --> 00:26:42,000 >> Taron: I FEEL LIKE IT MIGHT BE A SUIT EXPLODING RISK SO I'M 683 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,368 >> Taron: I FEEL LIKE IT MIGHT BE A SUIT EXPLODING RISK SO I'M 684 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,470 GOING TO SKIP IT. >> Stephen: WHERE ARE YOU FROM 685 00:26:45,537 --> 00:26:48,000 IN WALES? >> Taron: FROM A TOWN THAT 686 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:54,000 IN WALES? >> Taron: FROM A TOWN THAT 687 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:54,412 IN WALES? >> Taron: FROM A TOWN THAT 688 00:26:54,479 --> 00:26:57,749 MEANS THE MOUTH OF THE RIVER. BEFORE THAT I WAS FROM A VILLAGE 689 00:26:57,816 --> 00:27:00,000 IN WALES. >> Stephen: I HAVE BEEN TOLD 690 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,085 IN WALES. >> Stephen: I HAVE BEEN TOLD 691 00:27:00,151 --> 00:27:03,989 THAT YOU HAVE AN INTERESTING HOMETOWN. 692 00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:06,000 >> Taron: [SPEAKING WELSH] >> Stephen: I'M GOING TO TAKE 693 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:10,895 >> Taron: [SPEAKING WELSH] >> Stephen: I'M GOING TO TAKE 694 00:27:10,962 --> 00:27:12,000 YOUR WORD FOR IT. DOES THAT MEAN SOMETHING? 695 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,064 YOUR WORD FOR IT. DOES THAT MEAN SOMETHING? 696 00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:15,800 >> Taron: I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT, BUT IT DOES. 697 00:27:15,867 --> 00:27:18,000 >> Stephen: DO ALL THE MEN IN WALES SING IN A CHOIR? 698 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,437 >> Stephen: DO ALL THE MEN IN WALES SING IN A CHOIR? 699 00:27:19,504 --> 00:27:23,908 >> Taron: THERE IS A LOT OF THAT. 700 00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:24,000 I SANG IN A CHOIR WHEN I WAS COMING UP AND IN SCHOOL. 701 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:28,013 I SANG IN A CHOIR WHEN I WAS COMING UP AND IN SCHOOL. 702 00:27:28,079 --> 00:27:30,000 >> Stephen: IN WELSH? [SINGING] 703 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:36,000 >> Stephen: IN WELSH? [SINGING] 704 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,692 >> Stephen: IN WELSH? [SINGING] 705 00:27:40,759 --> 00:27:42,000 >> Taron: VERY GOOD. >> Stephen: I LIKE THE 706 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:46,765 >> Taron: VERY GOOD. >> Stephen: I LIKE THE 707 00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:48,000 LONGBOW, I AM GRATEFUL TO THE LONGBOW MEN FROM WALES. 708 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:54,000 LONGBOW, I AM GRATEFUL TO THE LONGBOW MEN FROM WALES. 709 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:54,305 LONGBOW, I AM GRATEFUL TO THE LONGBOW MEN FROM WALES. 710 00:27:54,372 --> 00:27:57,542 KING HENRY AGAINST THE FRENCH CAVALRY. 711 00:27:57,609 --> 00:27:59,177 >> Taron: STRAPPED IN. >> Stephen: THERE WILL BE A 712 00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:00,000 TEST AT TONIGHT'S INTERVIEW. WE WILL TAKE A QUICK BREAK BUT 713 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,547 TEST AT TONIGHT'S INTERVIEW. WE WILL TAKE A QUICK BREAK BUT 714 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,482 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MARK TARON EGERTON. 715 00:28:04,549 --> 00:28:06,000 STICK AROUND. 716 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:12,000 STICK AROUND. 717 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:17,429 STICK AROUND. 718 00:28:17,495 --> 00:28:18,000 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 719 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:18,530 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 720 00:28:18,596 --> 00:28:22,667 WE ARE BACK WITH THE STAR OF "TETRIS," TARON EGERTON. 721 00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:24,000 YOU ARE STARTING A NEW FILM CALLED "TETRIS." 722 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,272 YOU ARE STARTING A NEW FILM CALLED "TETRIS." 723 00:28:27,338 --> 00:28:29,307 OKAY. >> Taron: IT'S MORE EXCITING 724 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,000 THAN IT SOUNDS. >> Stephen: THE THING IS, I'M 725 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,509 THAN IT SOUNDS. >> Stephen: THE THING IS, I'M 726 00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:33,912 ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT'S LIKE A 727 00:28:33,978 --> 00:28:36,000 GROUNDBREAKING VIDEO GAME HAD WHAT IS THE ACTUAL STORY THAT 728 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,749 GROUNDBREAKING VIDEO GAME HAD WHAT IS THE ACTUAL STORY THAT 729 00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:39,951 YOU'RE TELLING? >> Taron: YEAH, IT'S NOT A 730 00:28:40,018 --> 00:28:42,000 MOVIE ABOUT, YOU KNOW, GEOMETRIC SHAPES OR WHATEVER. 731 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,555 MOVIE ABOUT, YOU KNOW, GEOMETRIC SHAPES OR WHATEVER. 732 00:28:43,621 --> 00:28:48,000 IT'S THE STORY BEHIND THE VIDEO GAME KIND OF STRANGER THAN 733 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:48,526 IT'S THE STORY BEHIND THE VIDEO GAME KIND OF STRANGER THAN 734 00:28:48,593 --> 00:28:51,729 FICTION. I PLAY A GUY CALLED HENK ROGERS 735 00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:54,000 WHO HAD A SNEAK PREVIEW OF THE GAME, HE'S A GAME PUBLISHER. 736 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,667 WHO HAD A SNEAK PREVIEW OF THE GAME, HE'S A GAME PUBLISHER. 737 00:28:55,733 --> 00:28:57,635 >> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT WE WERE SEEING? 738 00:28:57,702 --> 00:28:59,270 >> Taron: THAT'S ALREADY IN RUSSIA. 739 00:28:59,337 --> 00:29:00,000 THE RIGHTS WEREN'T AVAILABLE SO I TOOK IT UPON HIMSELF TO GO TO 740 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,240 THE RIGHTS WEREN'T AVAILABLE SO I TOOK IT UPON HIMSELF TO GO TO 741 00:29:02,307 --> 00:29:05,643 THE LOCATION OF THE INVENTION OF THE GAME WHICH WAS SOVIET RUSSIA 742 00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:06,000 RIGHT AT THE END OF THE SOVIET UNION. 743 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,280 RIGHT AT THE END OF THE SOVIET UNION. 744 00:29:09,347 --> 00:29:10,582 1989. THERE HE DANGEROUS, VERY 745 00:29:10,648 --> 00:29:12,000 HIGH-RISK. WASN'T ALLOWED TO BE THERE. 746 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:12,917 HIGH-RISK. WASN'T ALLOWED TO BE THERE. 747 00:29:12,984 --> 00:29:16,321 GOT A TOURIST VISA BUT HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE INTERESTED. 748 00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:18,000 THE KGB GOT INVOLVED IN ALL TURNED INTO A RACE TO WIN THE 749 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,158 THE KGB GOT INVOLVED IN ALL TURNED INTO A RACE TO WIN THE 750 00:29:20,225 --> 00:29:21,326 RIGHTS. >> Stephen: THE KGB GOT 751 00:29:21,392 --> 00:29:24,000 INVOLVED IN US BEING UP TO PLAY -- 752 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:24,496 INVOLVED IN US BEING UP TO PLAY -- 753 00:29:24,562 --> 00:29:26,698 >> Taron: THE STATE OWNED THE RIGHTS AS PER THE LAW THE TIMES 754 00:29:26,764 --> 00:29:28,566 OF THE GOVERNMENT WERE VERY INTERESTED. 755 00:29:28,633 --> 00:29:30,000 >> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT GLASNOST WAS ABOUT, ALLOWING US 756 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,338 >> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT GLASNOST WAS ABOUT, ALLOWING US 757 00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:36,000 TO PLAY TETRIS IN THE WEST? I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT AWAY. 758 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:40,411 TO PLAY TETRIS IN THE WEST? I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT AWAY. 759 00:29:40,478 --> 00:29:42,000 DID YOU PLAY THE GAME? >> Taron: A BIT. 760 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,114 DID YOU PLAY THE GAME? >> Taron: A BIT. 761 00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:44,482 YEAH. A BIT. 762 00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:47,218 IT'S TERRIBLE. >> Stephen: YOU CAN SAY NO. 763 00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:48,000 YOU CAN SAY NO. >> Taron: I WAS IN SxSW ON 764 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,289 YOU CAN SAY NO. >> Taron: I WAS IN SxSW ON 765 00:29:51,356 --> 00:29:54,000 DOING INTERVIEWS FOR THE MOVIE. I AM SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE 766 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:54,659 DOING INTERVIEWS FOR THE MOVIE. I AM SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE 767 00:29:54,726 --> 00:29:56,127 MOVIE. OCCASIONALLY I GET ASKED ABOUT 768 00:29:56,194 --> 00:29:59,731 THE GAME AND I SAY YEAH, YOU KNOW, YEAH. 769 00:29:59,797 --> 00:30:00,000 I FIND IT QUITE HARD TO GET PASSIONATE ABOUT, YOU KNOW. 770 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,103 I FIND IT QUITE HARD TO GET PASSIONATE ABOUT, YOU KNOW. 771 00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:06,000 IT'S NOT LIKE THAT DISCOGRAPHY OF RADIOHEAD, IS IT? 772 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,639 IT'S NOT LIKE THAT DISCOGRAPHY OF RADIOHEAD, IS IT? 773 00:30:07,705 --> 00:30:11,476 IT'S FUN. BUT -- IT'S FUN. 774 00:30:11,543 --> 00:30:12,000 IT'S NEAT. THE MOVIE IS MUCH MORE 775 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:12,677 IT'S NEAT. THE MOVIE IS MUCH MORE 776 00:30:12,744 --> 00:30:17,115 INTERESTING. >> Stephen: WHO HERE HAS PLAY 777 00:30:17,182 --> 00:30:18,000 TETRIS? >> [CHEERING] 778 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,450 TETRIS? >> [CHEERING] 779 00:30:19,517 --> 00:30:23,721 >> Taron: LOOK AT THAT. >> Stephen: THE AUDIENCE. 780 00:30:23,788 --> 00:30:24,000 >> Taron: YOU SHOULD BE PROMOTING THE MOVIE. 781 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,258 >> Taron: YOU SHOULD BE PROMOTING THE MOVIE. 782 00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:29,661 THE MOVIE IS GOOD. >> Stephen: WE HEARD ABOUT THE 783 00:30:29,727 --> 00:30:30,000 IDEA OF A TETRIS MOVIE AND THIS IS TRUE, ALMOST SEVEN YEARS AGO 784 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,064 IDEA OF A TETRIS MOVIE AND THIS IS TRUE, ALMOST SEVEN YEARS AGO 785 00:30:33,131 --> 00:30:35,500 ON THE SHOW IN 2016. WE REALLY DID. 786 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:36,000 THERE WAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT TOMORROW IS GOING TO MAKE A 787 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,835 THERE WAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT TOMORROW IS GOING TO MAKE A 788 00:30:37,902 --> 00:30:40,738 TETRIS MOVIE AND SO IN THE MONOLOGUE WE TRIED TO PROVIDE 789 00:30:40,805 --> 00:30:42,000 OUR OWN LIVES SNEAK PEEK ABOUT WHAT THE MOVIE WOULD BE LIKE I 790 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,441 OUR OWN LIVES SNEAK PEEK ABOUT WHAT THE MOVIE WOULD BE LIKE I 791 00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:47,545 WOULD LIKE TO SHOW IT TO YOU TO SEE HOW CLOSE YOU THINK WE GOT. 792 00:30:47,612 --> 00:30:48,000 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR MOVIE. LET ME KNOW HOW CLOSE WE GOT. 793 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,349 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR MOVIE. LET ME KNOW HOW CLOSE WE GOT. 794 00:30:51,416 --> 00:30:54,000 WE HERE AT "THE LATE SHOW" HAVE SECURED AN EXCLUSIVE LIVE CLIP 795 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:59,023 WE HERE AT "THE LATE SHOW" HAVE SECURED AN EXCLUSIVE LIVE CLIP 796 00:30:59,090 --> 00:31:00,000 -- LIVE CLIP FROM THE UPCOMING "TETRIS" MOVIE. 797 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:05,063 -- LIVE CLIP FROM THE UPCOMING "TETRIS" MOVIE. 798 00:31:05,129 --> 00:31:06,000 >> I DON'T CARE WHAT OUR FAMILIES SAY, WE, WE BELONG 799 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,300 >> I DON'T CARE WHAT OUR FAMILIES SAY, WE, WE BELONG 800 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:12,000 TOGETHER. >> MAKE LOVE TO ME NOW. 801 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:16,174 TOGETHER. >> MAKE LOVE TO ME NOW. 802 00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:18,000 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC] OH, GOD, OH. 803 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:24,000 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC] OH, GOD, OH. 804 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,817 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC] OH, GOD, OH. 805 00:31:25,883 --> 00:31:28,653 OKAY, I'M GOING TO GO LIKE THIS. OH, MY GOD. 806 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,000 OH, MY GOD. OH, YEAH. 807 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,357 OH, MY GOD. OH, YEAH. 808 00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:36,000 OKAY. >> I'M GOING DOWN. 809 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,428 OKAY. >> I'M GOING DOWN. 810 00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:42,000 GO LEFT. YES, YES. 811 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:42,967 GO LEFT. YES, YES. 812 00:31:43,034 --> 00:31:48,000 OH, YES, THAT'S GOOD! >> Stephen: ARE WE CLOSE AT 813 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,507 OH, YES, THAT'S GOOD! >> Stephen: ARE WE CLOSE AT 814 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:52,510 ALL? >> Taron: I AM JUST AN& 815 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:54,000 INNOCENT BOY FROM TE HILLS OF WALES. 816 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,381 INNOCENT BOY FROM TE HILLS OF WALES. 817 00:31:56,447 --> 00:31:57,982 YOU CAN'T TO BE SHOWING ME STUFF LIKE THAT. 818 00:31:58,049 --> 00:32:00,000 YOU CAN'T BE SHOWING THAT FILTH. >> Stephen: THAT'S HOW LITTLE 819 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,653 YOU CAN'T BE SHOWING THAT FILTH. >> Stephen: THAT'S HOW LITTLE 820 00:32:01,719 --> 00:32:06,000 PAC-MAN ARE MADE. TARON, LOVELY TO MEET YOU. 821 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,358 PAC-MAN ARE MADE. TARON, LOVELY TO MEET YOU. 822 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:10,895 "TETRIS" IN THEATERS AND APPLE TV+ THIS FRIDAY. 823 00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:12,000 TARON EGERTON EVERYBODY. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 824 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,665 TARON EGERTON EVERYBODY. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 825 00:32:13,731 --> 00:32:16,234 COMEDIAN JAY CHANDRASEKHAR. 826 00:32:23,908 --> 00:32:24,000 ♪ ♪ 827 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:30,000 ♪ ♪ 828 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,017 ♪ ♪ 829 00:32:33,084 --> 00:32:35,820 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW." 830 00:32:35,887 --> 00:32:36,000 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. FOLKS, MY FIRST -- 831 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,691 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. FOLKS, MY FIRST -- 832 00:32:39,757 --> 00:32:42,000 MY NEXT GUEST. I WAS ABOUT TO SAY MY FIRST 833 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:42,994 MY NEXT GUEST. I WAS ABOUT TO SAY MY FIRST 834 00:32:43,061 --> 00:32:44,395 GUEST. MY NEXT GUEST IS A WRITER, 835 00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:45,863 DIRECTOR, AND ONE FIFTH OF THE BROKEN LIZARD COMEDY TROUPE 836 00:32:45,930 --> 00:32:48,000 BEHIND "SUPER TROOPERS" AND "BEERFEST." 837 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,567 BEHIND "SUPER TROOPERS" AND "BEERFEST." 838 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:53,371 HE NOW STARS IN THEIR NEW MOVIE, "QUASI." 839 00:32:53,438 --> 00:32:54,000 >> ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN IN MY COUNTRY? 840 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,507 >> ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN IN MY COUNTRY? 841 00:32:56,574 --> 00:33:00,000 >> THEY ARE ALL MY COUNTRIES. THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE HERE IS 842 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:00,078 >> THEY ARE ALL MY COUNTRIES. THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE HERE IS 843 00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:06,000 SO YOU CAN HORN IT ON HER CORONATION. 844 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,385 SO YOU CAN HORN IT ON HER CORONATION. 845 00:33:07,452 --> 00:33:09,821 >> PLEASE, GENTLEMAN. LET'S ENJOY THE FEAST. 846 00:33:09,887 --> 00:33:12,000 >> TAKE YOUR SUPREMACY AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR [...] 847 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:18,000 >> TAKE YOUR SUPREMACY AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR [...] 848 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,164 >> TAKE YOUR SUPREMACY AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR [...] 849 00:33:20,231 --> 00:33:23,801 >> DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE PEANUTS WALKING DOWN THE 850 00:33:23,868 --> 00:33:24,000 STREET? >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK 851 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:29,841 STREET? >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK 852 00:33:29,907 --> 00:33:30,000 TO "THE LATE SHOW," JAY CHANDRASEKHAR. 853 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:35,980 TO "THE LATE SHOW," JAY CHANDRASEKHAR. 854 00:33:36,047 --> 00:33:42,000 HELLO, JAY. THERE YOU GO. 855 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:47,525 HELLO, JAY. THERE YOU GO. 856 00:33:47,592 --> 00:33:48,000 WELCOME BACK. >> Jay: THANK YOU. 857 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,160 WELCOME BACK. >> Jay: THANK YOU. 858 00:33:49,227 --> 00:33:51,362 >> Stephen: HAVE YOU BEEN? >> Jay: SO GOOD. 859 00:33:51,429 --> 00:33:54,000 >> Stephen: I'LL FIX THAT. THE NEW MOVIE, "QUASI," AS I 860 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,201 >> Stephen: I'LL FIX THAT. THE NEW MOVIE, "QUASI," AS I 861 00:33:57,268 --> 00:34:00,000 SAID, THE "SUPER TROOPER MOVIES," "BEERFEST." 862 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,005 SAID, THE "SUPER TROOPER MOVIES," "BEERFEST." 863 00:34:01,072 --> 00:34:04,442 THIS IS A PERIOD FILM. WHY A PERIOD FILM? 864 00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:06,000 >> Jay: WE WERE A SKETCH GROUP TO START. 865 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,078 >> Jay: WE WERE A SKETCH GROUP TO START. 866 00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:11,582 WE MET WHEN WE WERE 19. START OF THE GROUP WHEN I WAS 867 00:34:11,649 --> 00:34:12,000 21. IT'S BEEN A WHILE. 868 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,886 21. IT'S BEEN A WHILE. 869 00:34:14,952 --> 00:34:18,000 IT'S BEEN LIKE 30 YEARS. [APPLAUSE] 870 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,390 IT'S BEEN LIKE 30 YEARS. [APPLAUSE] 871 00:34:19,457 --> 00:34:24,000 YEAH. >> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. 872 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:24,328 YEAH. >> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. 873 00:34:24,395 --> 00:34:27,398 >> Jay: IT'S INCREDIBLE. WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE WOULD 874 00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:30,000 SORT OF BE MONTY PYTHON, MAKE MOVIES LIKE THAT. 875 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:30,101 SORT OF BE MONTY PYTHON, MAKE MOVIES LIKE THAT. 876 00:34:30,168 --> 00:34:31,936 SO WE WERE DOING A LOT OF SKETCHES. 877 00:34:32,003 --> 00:34:34,238 WE WERE WEARING WIGS AND DRESSES AND ALL THESE THINGS AND MY 878 00:34:34,305 --> 00:34:36,000 FRIEND STEVE WAS WORKING AT THE RECORD STORE BACK WHEN WE HAD 879 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,576 FRIEND STEVE WAS WORKING AT THE RECORD STORE BACK WHEN WE HAD 880 00:34:38,643 --> 00:34:41,779 RECORDS AND THERE WAS A GUY IN THE JAZZ SECTION WHO SPOKE OUT 881 00:34:41,846 --> 00:34:42,000 OF THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH. HE WOULD GO, "ANOTHER LONELY 882 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:48,000 OF THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH. HE WOULD GO, "ANOTHER LONELY 883 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:48,519 OF THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH. HE WOULD GO, "ANOTHER LONELY 884 00:34:48,586 --> 00:34:51,122 WEEKEND IN NEW YORK CITY." AND STEVE WOULD COME BACK INTO 885 00:34:51,189 --> 00:34:52,723 THAT IMITATION AND WE WOULD DO THE IMITATION AND THEN WE WERE 886 00:34:52,790 --> 00:34:54,000 LIKE, LET'S MAKE A CHARACTER LIKE THAT. 887 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,194 LIKE, LET'S MAKE A CHARACTER LIKE THAT. 888 00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:58,963 AND THEN WE WERE LIKE, HOW CAN WE MAKE AND SADDER? 889 00:34:59,030 --> 00:35:00,000 LET'S MAKE HIM A HUNCHBACK. HE WAS A HUNCHBACK. 890 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,566 LET'S MAKE HIM A HUNCHBACK. HE WAS A HUNCHBACK. 891 00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:06,000 THE HUNCHBACK LIVED IN 16TH CENTURY FRANCE SO WE NEED A 892 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:06,604 THE HUNCHBACK LIVED IN 16TH CENTURY FRANCE SO WE NEED A 893 00:35:06,671 --> 00:35:08,739 KING, A POPE THAT EVENTUALLY REMAIN THIS POLITICAL THRILLER. 894 00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:11,209 >> Stephen: ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS MOVIE THAT YOU'RE MAKING 895 00:35:11,275 --> 00:35:12,000 WHICH IS YOUR EIGHTH MOVIE IS FROM 30 YEARS AGO? 896 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,279 WHICH IS YOUR EIGHTH MOVIE IS FROM 30 YEARS AGO? 897 00:35:15,346 --> 00:35:18,000 >> Jay: WE WROTE IT, IT'S ONE OF OUR OLDEST SCRIPTS. 898 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:18,216 >> Jay: WE WROTE IT, IT'S ONE OF OUR OLDEST SCRIPTS. 899 00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:21,385 >> Stephen: WOW. >> Jay: WE MADE "SUPER 900 00:35:21,452 --> 00:35:23,921 TROOPERS" MUCH MORE REAL AND AFTERWARDS WE HAD A SUCCESS IN 901 00:35:23,988 --> 00:35:24,000 THE STUDIO WOULD BE LIKE, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO MAKE AND WE 902 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,023 THE STUDIO WOULD BE LIKE, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO MAKE AND WE 903 00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:28,926 WOULD BE LIKE HOW ABOUT THIS, "QUASI." 904 00:35:28,993 --> 00:35:30,000 AND THEY WOULD BE LIKE, WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT? 905 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,597 AND THEY WOULD BE LIKE, WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT? 906 00:35:32,663 --> 00:35:35,566 EVENTUALLY FOX SEARCHLIGHT WHICH MAKES A LOT OF PERIOD PIECES, 907 00:35:35,633 --> 00:35:36,000 THEY READ IT AND SAID IT'S RIGHT UP OUR ALLY. 908 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,035 THEY READ IT AND SAID IT'S RIGHT UP OUR ALLY. 909 00:35:38,102 --> 00:35:40,371 >> Stephen: WE ALREADY HAVE THE WARDROBES. 910 00:35:40,438 --> 00:35:42,000 THERE IS A FAMILIAR VOICE NARRATING THIS FILM. 911 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,342 THERE IS A FAMILIAR VOICE NARRATING THIS FILM. 912 00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:48,000 THE BEGINNING OF THE END. IT IS BRIAN COX WHO PEOPLE KNOW 913 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,349 THE BEGINNING OF THE END. IT IS BRIAN COX WHO PEOPLE KNOW 914 00:35:51,415 --> 00:35:54,000 AS A CHARACTER FROM SUCCESSION. DOES HE DROP AS MANY F-BOMBS 915 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:54,819 AS A CHARACTER FROM SUCCESSION. DOES HE DROP AS MANY F-BOMBS 916 00:35:54,886 --> 00:35:59,023 ONSET AS HE DOES AS LOGAN ON "SUCCESSION." 917 00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:00,000 >> Jay: WE CALL HIM COXY. 918 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:06,000 >> Jay: WE CALL HIM COXY. 919 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:10,201 >> Jay: WE CALL HIM COXY. 920 00:36:10,268 --> 00:36:12,000 IT BRINGS US ALL UP. BRIAN, WE HAVE A INSULTSTYLE OF 921 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,973 IT BRINGS US ALL UP. BRIAN, WE HAVE A INSULTSTYLE OF 922 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,308 FRIENDSHIP. WE MAKE FUN OF EACH OTHER. 923 00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:18,000 THE HOUSE OF PAIN. ALWAYS MAKING JOKES ABOUT EACH 924 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:18,576 THE HOUSE OF PAIN. ALWAYS MAKING JOKES ABOUT EACH 925 00:36:18,643 --> 00:36:22,213 OTHER AND BRIAN CAME IN AND SAW THAT AND HE WANTED TO FIT IN AND 926 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,000 HE WOULDN'T HIT US WITH INSULTS, YOU ARE LIKE, LITTLE TOO FAR. 927 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,584 HE WOULDN'T HIT US WITH INSULTS, YOU ARE LIKE, LITTLE TOO FAR. 928 00:36:26,651 --> 00:36:29,053 THAT'S A LITTLE TOO FAR. >> Stephen: I DON'T GET THE 929 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,000 JOKE. >> Jay: WE MADE "SUPER 930 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,924 JOKE. >> Jay: WE MADE "SUPER 931 00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:34,692 TROOPERS 2" AND WE ARE MAKING NUMBER THREE. 932 00:36:34,759 --> 00:36:36,000 >> Stephen: YOU ARE? WHEN IS THAT? 933 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:36,427 >> Stephen: YOU ARE? WHEN IS THAT? 934 00:36:36,494 --> 00:36:42,000 >> Jay: WE ARE GOING TO SHOOT THAT NEXT. 935 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,234 >> Jay: WE ARE GOING TO SHOOT THAT NEXT. 936 00:36:43,301 --> 00:36:45,436 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT. >> Jay: GREW A MUSTACHE AND 937 00:36:45,503 --> 00:36:47,371 YOU CAN HOP ON BOARD. >> Stephen: I'VE GOT ALL THE 938 00:36:47,438 --> 00:36:48,000 TIME IN THE WORLD. YOU DIRECTED A FILM CALLED 939 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:53,477 TIME IN THE WORLD. YOU DIRECTED A FILM CALLED 940 00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:54,000 "EASTER SUNDAY" WITH A COMEDIAN, ONE OF THE PARTNERS WITH 941 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:59,216 "EASTER SUNDAY" WITH A COMEDIAN, ONE OF THE PARTNERS WITH 942 00:36:59,283 --> 00:37:00,000 STEVEN SPIELBERG, HIS ORGANIZATION AND THAT YOU AS A 943 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,620 STEVEN SPIELBERG, HIS ORGANIZATION AND THAT YOU AS A 944 00:37:02,687 --> 00:37:06,000 DIRECTOR GOT A NOTE FROM STEVEN SPIELBERG, HOW DOES IT 945 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:06,857 DIRECTOR GOT A NOTE FROM STEVEN SPIELBERG, HOW DOES IT 946 00:37:06,924 --> 00:37:12,000 FEEL TO GET A NOTE FROM STEVEN SPIELBERG AS A DIRECTOR? 947 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:12,663 FEEL TO GET A NOTE FROM STEVEN SPIELBERG AS A DIRECTOR? 948 00:37:12,730 --> 00:37:18,000 >> Jay: THIS IS JO'S FIRST MOVIE, HE'S HUGE, HE SELLS OUT 949 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:18,035 >> Jay: THIS IS JO'S FIRST MOVIE, HE'S HUGE, HE SELLS OUT 950 00:37:18,102 --> 00:37:22,073 STADIUMS. MR. SPIELBERG IS THE BOSS OF THE 951 00:37:22,139 --> 00:37:24,000 MOVIE, THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. ON THE FIRST DAY, JOE IS FEELING 952 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,510 MOVIE, THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. ON THE FIRST DAY, JOE IS FEELING 953 00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:28,913 A LITTLE INSECURE, HE'S REALLY GOT TO ACT AND HE GOES, DO YOU 954 00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:30,000 MIND IF I WEAR MY JO HAT? SURE, NO PROBLEM. 955 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:35,886 MIND IF I WEAR MY JO HAT? SURE, NO PROBLEM. 956 00:37:35,953 --> 00:37:36,000 REALLY FUNNY SCENE IN JO HAS THE DODGER HAT ON AND THE DAILIES GO 957 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,424 REALLY FUNNY SCENE IN JO HAS THE DODGER HAT ON AND THE DAILIES GO 958 00:37:40,491 --> 00:37:42,000 TO BURBANK AND I GET A CALL FROM THE HEAD OF AMBLIN AND SHE SAYS 959 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,296 TO BURBANK AND I GET A CALL FROM THE HEAD OF AMBLIN AND SHE SAYS 960 00:37:45,363 --> 00:37:48,000 STEVEN REALLY LIKES THE SCENE BUT HE IS ONE NOTE FOR YOU. 961 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:48,899 STEVEN REALLY LIKES THE SCENE BUT HE IS ONE NOTE FOR YOU. 962 00:37:48,966 --> 00:37:51,335 WHAT'S THAT? MOVIE STARS DON'T WEAR HATS. 963 00:37:51,402 --> 00:37:54,000 I WAS LIKE, OH, OKAY. SO THEN TO JO KOY. 964 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:59,110 I WAS LIKE, OH, OKAY. SO THEN TO JO KOY. 965 00:37:59,176 --> 00:38:00,000 WE GOT A NOTE FROM MR. SPIELBERG SANG MOVIE STARS DON'T WEAR 966 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,479 WE GOT A NOTE FROM MR. SPIELBERG SANG MOVIE STARS DON'T WEAR 967 00:38:01,545 --> 00:38:03,581 HATS. AND HE GOES, WHAT ABOUT 968 00:38:03,648 --> 00:38:06,000 INDIANA JONES? I GUESS I COULD ARGUE WITH 969 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:10,454 INDIANA JONES? I GUESS I COULD ARGUE WITH 970 00:38:10,521 --> 00:38:12,000 MR. SPIELBERG OR YOU COULD TAKE THE HAT OFF IN THE NEXT SCENE 971 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,126 MR. SPIELBERG OR YOU COULD TAKE THE HAT OFF IN THE NEXT SCENE 972 00:38:15,192 --> 00:38:17,461 AND HE GOES YEAH, LET'S TAKE THE HAT OFF. 973 00:38:17,528 --> 00:38:18,000 >> Stephen: DID YOU HAVE TO RESHOOT THAT SCENE? 974 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,463 >> Stephen: DID YOU HAVE TO RESHOOT THAT SCENE? 975 00:38:19,530 --> 00:38:22,733 >> Jay: KNOW WE DID NOT BUT NOBODY WORE A HAT AFTER THAT. 976 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,000 I DIDN'T EVEN WEAR A HAT. NOBODY IS WEARING HATS. 977 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,236 I DIDN'T EVEN WEAR A HAT. NOBODY IS WEARING HATS. 978 00:38:25,302 --> 00:38:27,371 >> Stephen: THE NEXT NOTE IS GOING TO BE "MOVIE STARS DON'T 979 00:38:27,438 --> 00:38:29,440 WEAR PANTS." HE'S JUST SEEING HOW FAR YOU CAN 980 00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:30,000 PUSH YOU. >> Jay: WHATEVER HE SAYS, I'LL 981 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:30,675 PUSH YOU. >> Jay: WHATEVER HE SAYS, I'LL 982 00:38:30,741 --> 00:38:35,446 DO IT. >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU 983 00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:36,000 ENJOY ADRENALINE. YOU HELI-SKI. 984 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:42,000 ENJOY ADRENALINE. YOU HELI-SKI. 985 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:42,987 ENJOY ADRENALINE. YOU HELI-SKI. 986 00:38:43,054 --> 00:38:46,590 BACKWOODS IN A HELICOPTER AND JUMP OUT AND SKI DOWN. 987 00:38:46,657 --> 00:38:48,000 THIS SOUNDS DANGEROUS AND WHY DO YOU ENJOY IT? 988 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:48,693 THIS SOUNDS DANGEROUS AND WHY DO YOU ENJOY IT? 989 00:38:48,759 --> 00:38:54,000 >> Jay: I THINK I DO IT BECAUSE I GREW UP IN LILY WHITE 990 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:54,598 >> Jay: I THINK I DO IT BECAUSE I GREW UP IN LILY WHITE 991 00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:58,102 CHICAGO AND THE '70s. I WAS THE ONLY INDIAN KID AROUND 992 00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:00,000 AND I WAS ALSO THE FASTEST KID IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 993 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,139 AND I WAS ALSO THE FASTEST KID IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 994 00:39:02,206 --> 00:39:05,309 FASTEST KID IN MY HIGH SCHOOL. I WAS LIKE, THAT GOT THE A LOT 995 00:39:05,376 --> 00:39:06,000 OF CURRENCY. THERE'S A LOT OF OPINIONS, HEY, 996 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,547 OF CURRENCY. THERE'S A LOT OF OPINIONS, HEY, 997 00:39:09,613 --> 00:39:11,649 INDIANS DON'T SKI. YOU WATCH ME. 998 00:39:11,716 --> 00:39:12,000 I LEARNED HOW TO SKI. AND THEN I'M LIKE, WHAT'S THE 999 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,419 I LEARNED HOW TO SKI. AND THEN I'M LIKE, WHAT'S THE 1000 00:39:15,486 --> 00:39:18,000 MOST ADVANCED VERSION OF THAT? SO I WENT HELI-SKIING. 1001 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:22,593 MOST ADVANCED VERSION OF THAT? SO I WENT HELI-SKIING. 1002 00:39:22,660 --> 00:39:24,000 I GOT ALL THESE NOTES ON MY INSTAGRAM, I DIDN'T KNOW INDIANS 1003 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,297 I GOT ALL THESE NOTES ON MY INSTAGRAM, I DIDN'T KNOW INDIANS 1004 00:39:26,363 --> 00:39:30,000 SKIED. WATCH ME, PAL. 1005 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:30,167 SKIED. WATCH ME, PAL. 1006 00:39:30,234 --> 00:39:33,671 >> Stephen: JAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 1007 00:39:33,738 --> 00:39:36,000 "QUASI" IS AVAILABLE APRIL 20TH ON HULU. 1008 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,409 "QUASI" IS AVAILABLE APRIL 20TH ON HULU. 1009 00:39:38,476 --> 00:39:40,478 JAY CHANDRASEKHAR, EVERYBODY. 1010 00:40:01,031 --> 00:40:02,433 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 1011 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:05,369 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE BROOKE SHIELDS 1012 00:40:05,436 --> 00:40:06,000 AND AUTHOR CLINT SMITH. STICK AROUND FOR JAMES. 1013 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,605 AND AUTHOR CLINT SMITH. STICK AROUND FOR JAMES. 1014 00:40:07,671 --> 00:40:09,673 GOOD NIGHT! ♪ ♪