1 00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:02,936 MOVING GO TO WACO, TEXAS, WHERE FORMER 2 00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:06,673 PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP HELD HIS FIRST BIG 2024 CAME PEN RALLY ON 3 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:12,178 SATURDAY. THEY PLAYED A SONG FEATURINGR 4 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:19,719 OF JANUARY 6TH DEFENDANTS. HE CALLS THEM A PRISON CHOIR. 5 00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:22,689 THE LATE SHOW HA OBTAINED THE VIDEO OF THE JANUARY 6 6 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,858 PRISONERS CHOIR 7 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:08,835 WOW, THESE PATRIOTS ARE INCREDIBLE LOOKING WOMEN. 8 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:13,940 Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 9 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:18,244 TONIGHT... ARREST IS YET TO COME. 10 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:22,549 FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES HUGH GRANT 11 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:28,521 AND SEAN HAYES. FEATURING LOUIS CATO 12 00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:34,427 AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND. AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE 13 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,197 FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, 14 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:53,079 IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT. Stephen: FANTASTIC. 15 00:01:53,079 --> 00:02:00,787 YOU ARE A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES. BEAUTIFUL. 16 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:10,730 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 17 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:11,464 Audience: 18 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,265 STEPHEN! Stephen: HEY, THANKS, 19 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:16,970 EVERYBODY. DOWN HERE, UP THERE. 20 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:24,577 VERY NICE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 21 00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:27,747 PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 22 00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:32,252 WELCOME ONE AND ALL TOWN HERE UP THERE OUT THERE, WELCOME TO 23 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:35,355 "THE LATE SHOW." I AM YOUR, STEPHEN COLBERT. 24 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:39,192 IT IS MARCH WHAT? WHAT IS IT, MARCH 24TH OR 25 00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:42,161 SOMETHING? 27TH. 26 00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:44,531 MARCH 27TH. GOT TO GET A NEW CALENDAR. 27 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:48,701 IT IS OUR FIRST SHOW BACK FROM SPRING BREAK. 28 00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:51,971 WHAT I MISSED? DID ANYONE GET INDICTED? 29 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:56,743 DID ANYONE GO ANYWHERE FUN, LIKE JAIL? 30 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:57,877 OKAY. YOU'LL RECALL THAT PREVIOUSLY 31 00:02:57,877 --> 00:02:59,145 ON "THE LATE SHOW," MANHATTAN DISTRICT ATTORNEY ALVIN 32 00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:00,213 BRAGG WAS EXPECTED TO BRING CHARGES AGAINST 33 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:05,852 THE FORMER PRESIDENT FOR AN ALLEGED HUSH 34 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,587 MONEY PAYMENT TO PORN STAR STORMY DANIELS, 35 00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:11,491 WHICH WOULD MAKE HIM THE FIRST FORMER PRESIDENT 36 00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:16,763 EVER TO BE CRIMINALLY INDICTED. ALTHOUGH MOST HISTORIANS AGREE 37 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:28,508 MARTIN VAN BUREN SHOULD'VE GONE TO JAIL FOR THIS HAIRCUT. 38 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,944 MM-HMM. THIS INDICTMENT WAS SUCH A SURE 39 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,478 THING THAT THE TARGET OF THE INVESTIGATION POSTED THIS 40 00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:35,615 ON TRUTH SOCIAL. "THE FAR AND AWAY LEADING 41 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:39,552 REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE AND FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE 42 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:40,486 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL BE ARRESTED ON 43 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:49,762 TUESDAY OF NEXT WEEK." EVERYONE. 44 00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:52,332 I KNOW. EVERYONE WAS SO EXCITED. 45 00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,067 BUT, ALAS, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. MAKING THIS HIS MOST INACCURATE 46 00:03:54,067 --> 00:04:01,374 FORECAST SINCE EVERY TIME HE SAID, "TILL DEATH DO US PART." 47 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:04,811 IN HIS POSTS, SURE. THE FORMER PRESIDENT ALSO 48 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,547 ENCOURAGED HIS SUPPORTERS TO "PROTEST, TAKE OUR NATION BACK" 49 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:11,017 AND WARNED THAT HIS ARREST COULD BRING ABOUT "POTENTIAL DEATH 50 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:17,457 AND DESTRUCTION." WHAT? 51 00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:20,727 AGAIN! HE WANTS A SEQUEL 52 00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:24,697 TO JANUARY 6TH WITH THE PROTESTS AND THE VIOLENCE, 53 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:27,867 AND THE... I'M SORRY. 54 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:34,107 WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? THE POO-POO. 55 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,709 THANK YOU, MADAM SPEAKER. 56 00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:40,747 SO DELICATE. THE PROTESTS WERE PERHAPS NOT AS 57 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:44,017 LARGE AS HE HAD CALLED FOR. 'CAUSE THIS IS IT. 58 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:50,289 IT'S LESS "JAN 6TH" AND MORE "JAN AND 6 OF HER FRIENDS." 59 00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:54,861 ONE REPORTER DESCRIBED IT BY SAYING, "IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF 60 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:59,032 CAMERAS TAKING A PICTURE OF A GUY WHO IS PUTTING ON A RAT 61 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:02,702 SUIT NEXT TO A GUITAR WITH THE WORDS 'HANG FAUCI' ON IT." 62 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:14,514 SO RUDY WAS THERE? THE RAT SUIT? 63 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,416 WAS THAT THE RAT SUIT? AT A RALLY THIS WEEKEND, 64 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:19,252 THE FORMER PRESIDENT ADDRESSED HIS LEGAL TROUBLES. 65 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:24,991 AND YET AFTER GOING OVER 11 MILLION PAGES OF DOCUMENTS, 66 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,626 I BUILT A GREAT COMPANY, 67 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:29,395 THEY'VE GOT NOTHING. IT PROBABLY MAKES ME THE MOST 68 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,531 INNOCENT MAN IN THE HISTORY OF OUR COUNTRY, 69 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:37,904 FRIENDS OF MINE SAY THAT. Stephen: THOSE HAVE GOTTA BE 70 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:42,942 THE TWO BIGGEST LIES HE'S EVER TOLD. 71 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:47,313 HE IS THE MOST INNOCENT MAN IN HISTORY. 72 00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:48,915 AND THAT HE HAS FRIEND. THIS RALLY WAS HELD IN WACO, 73 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,883 TEXAS ON SATURDAY. AND INSTEAD OF SOMEONE SINGING 74 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,619 THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER, THE RALLY BEGAN 75 00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:55,488 WITH THIS ANNOUNCEMENT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 76 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:56,622 PLEASE RISE AND PLACE YOUR HAND OVER YOUR HEART FOR THE 77 00:05:56,622 --> 00:06:00,760 NUMBER ONE NUMBER ONE SONG ON ITUNES, 78 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,764 AMAZON, AND THE BILLBOARD CHARTS, 79 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:08,234 "JUSTICE FOR ALL" FEATURING DONALD J. TRUMP 80 00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:11,237 AND THE J6 CHOIR. Stephen: NOW, IF YOU HAVEN'T 81 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:13,773 HEARD OF THEM, "THE J6 CHOIR" IS MADE UP OF 82 00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:16,876 A GROUP OF INMATES WHO ARE IN PRISON FOR THEIR ACTIONS IN THE 83 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:20,513 JANUARY 6TH RIOT. IT'S THE HOTTEST MUSICAL-PRISON 84 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:28,087 CROSSOVER SINCE MANSON AND GARFUNKEL. 85 00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:35,428 SURE. HE CAN SING. 86 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,896 SANG WITH THE BEACH BOYS. ONE QUIBBLE. 87 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,898 "JUSTICE FOR ALL" IS NOT ACTUALLY THE TOP SONG ON 88 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,700 STREAMING PLATFORMS OR THE REAL BILLBOARD CHARTS. 89 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:43,136 IT'S THE TOP SONG THAT PEOPLE ARE PAYING TO DOWNLOAD ON 90 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,638 ITUNES BECAUSE THEIR GRANDCHILDREN DON'T LIKE THEM 91 00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:48,374 ENOUGH TO HELP THEM SET UP SPOTIFY. 92 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,910 THAT DIDN'T STOP THE FORMER PRESIDENT FROM REPEATING 93 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,346 THE CLAIM. THAT SONG TELLS YOU A LOT 94 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:57,817 BECAUSE IT'S NUMBER ONE IN EVERY SINGLE CATEGORY. 95 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:03,756 NUMBER TWO WAS TAYLOR SWIFT. NUMBER THREE WAS MOLLY CYRUS. 96 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:09,295 Stephen: YES, MOLLY CYRUS. AND OF COURSE, HER ALTER EGO, 97 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:19,205 HERNA MARNTERNA. HERNA MARNTERNA. 98 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:23,843 DIANA IDAHO. JERMAINE MAIN. 99 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:28,614 THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S MAIN COMPETITION FOR THE GOP 100 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:32,084 NOMINATION REMAINS FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON DeSANTIS. 101 00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:34,220 THE FORMER PRESIDENT BELIEVES DeSANTIS OWES HIM HIS 102 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,622 CAREER, AND RECOUNTED THE MOMENT IN 2018 WHEN THE GOVERNOR BEGGED 103 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,424 FOR HIS ENDORSEMENT. I AM A LOYALIST AND WHEN 104 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:44,230 A MAN COMES TO ME, TEARS IN HIS EYES, HE'S AT ALMOST NOTHING IN 105 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,934 THE POLLS, I SAID, "YOU CAN'T WIN, CAN YOU? 106 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,937 HOW CAN YOU WIN?" "SIR, IF YOU ENDORSE ME 107 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,205 I WILL WIN. PLEASE, PLEASE SIR. 108 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:58,144 ENDORSE ME." I SAID LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT, 109 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:04,817 RON, AND I ENDORSED HIM AND HE BECAME LIKE A ROCKET SHIP. 110 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:11,023 Stephen: OH, I DON'T KNOW I DON'T ABOUT "ROCKET." 111 00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:12,692 IF YOU LOOK AT HIM, HE'S ACTUALLY GOT 112 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:21,534 THE AERODYNAMICS OF A KEGGERATOR. 113 00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:28,708 NEWS FROM FLERIDA. THE NUMBER ONE PLACE TO HEAR THE 114 00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:29,876 PHRASE "OH, YOU MEAN THE OTHER ALLIGATOR WHO HELD UP 115 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,043 A TIKI BAR." LAST WEEK, IN THE STATE CAPITAL 116 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:33,412 OF TALLAHASSEE, A SCHOOL PRINCIPAL RESIGNED 117 00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:34,547 AFTER PARENTS COMPLAINED THAT A LESSON ON MICHAELANGELO'S 118 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:35,481 DAVID EXPOSED SIXTH GRADERS TO PORNOGRAPHY. 119 00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:38,251 OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. 120 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,486 BABY. MY FAVORITE PART OF ANY PORNO IS 121 00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:43,055 WHEN SOMEONE IS STANDING FLACID WHILE THINKING ABOUT MURDERING 122 00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:51,464 A GIANT. OH, YEAH. 123 00:08:51,464 --> 00:09:00,039 [APPLAUSE] BUT THIS HAS GOT ME WONDERING, 124 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,674 IS ALL RENAISSANCE ART SMUT? I'M LOOKING AT YOU, 125 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:05,278 MONA LISA. WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT? 126 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:16,422 COULD IT BE... BOOBS! 127 00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:23,963 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT JOKE. APPARENTLY, 128 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,898 IT'S A FUNNY WORD. APPARENTLY, 129 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,600 TWO PARENTS COMPLAINED THAT THEY WEREN'T NOTIFIED IN ADVANCE THAT 130 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,604 A NUDE WOULD BE SHOWN. NOTHING CREEPY ABOUT THAT. 131 00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:35,942 "LOOK, I JUST WANNA KNOW WHEN THE NUDES ARE GONNA SHOW UP. 132 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:39,011 ALSO THE KINDA NUDES. WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 133 00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:43,482 TASTEFUL, OR LIKE, THE GOOD STUFF? 134 00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:54,360 'CAUSE I'M AN ART LOVER." 135 00:09:54,360 --> 00:10:01,767 I MEAN I'M A CONCERNED PARENT. OBVIOUSLY THIS IS SILLY. 136 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:02,935 AND THE PEOPLE OVER IN ITALY AGREE. 137 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,603 WHICH IS WHY IN RESPONSE, THIS WEEK, THE FLORENCE MUSEUM 138 00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:06,439 THAT EXHIBITS THE STATUE INVITED THE PARENTS AND STUDENTS 139 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,375 TO VISIT, SAYING, "TO THINK THAT DAVID COULD BE 140 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,211 PORNOGRAPHIC MEANS TRULY NOT UNDERSTANDING THE 141 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:14,046 CONTENTS OF THE BIBLE, NOT UNDERSTANDING 142 00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,648 WESTERN CULTURE, AND NOT UNDERSTANDING 143 00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,584 RENAISSANCE ART." Stephen: SO... 144 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:33,466 FLORIDA. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 145 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,369 THERE'S ALSO NEWS OUT OF UTAH, BECAUSE THEY'RE HOLDING 146 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,605 A TRIAL INVOLVING LIFESTYLE GURU GWYNETH PALTROW, 147 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,273 SEEN HERE BEING THE RICHEST PERSON WHO BUYS THEIR GLASSES 148 00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:49,081 A THE CVS CHECKOUT. MY DEAR, DEAR FRIEND GWYNETH 149 00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:50,683 IS CURRENTLY ON TRIAL IN A CIVIL LAWSUIT FOR A SKIING 150 00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:51,884 COLLISION IN 2016. SPECIFICALLY, 151 00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:55,588 A RETIRED OPTOMETRIST IS SUING HER, CLAIMING SHE PLOWED INTO 152 00:10:55,588 --> 00:11:02,695 HIM ON A BUNNY HILL AND CALLOUSLY SKIED AWAY. 153 00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:11,203 WHICH IS THE WHITEST SENTENCE I'VE EVER READ. 154 00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:19,445 THE WHITEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. 155 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,981 AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I HAVE MY BOAT MECHANIC 156 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:25,317 ON SPEED DIAL. BUT PALTROW IS COUNTERSUING, 157 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:26,852 CLAIMING THE OPTOMETRIST ACTUALLY SKIED INTO 158 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,254 "HER," SAYING HIS STORY IS LARGELY MADE UP. 159 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,655 HE'S A BUMBLING OPTOMETRIST, SHE'S A CELEBRITY MOGUL, 160 00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:30,990 THEY COLLIDE ON A SKI MOUNTAIN AND NEITHER CAN REMEMER 161 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,058 WHAT HAPPENED? THIS CHRISTMAS, 162 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,859 SEE HALLMARK'S NEWEST HIT, "GOOPSY-DAISY: 163 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:43,002 A SKI ACCIDENT... OF THE HEART." 164 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:48,474 NEVER SAW THAT, BUT I LIKE IT. GOOPSY-DAISY. 165 00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:49,842 THE TRIAL IS STILL ONGOING, AND WE DON'T KNOW 166 00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:51,911 WHO CRASHED INTO WHOM. WHAT WE DO KNOW IS, 167 00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:56,816 GWYNETH PALTROW SHOULD TAKE THE STAND MORE OFTEN. 168 00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:58,084 BECAUSE SHE IS A HOOT. HERE SHE IS BEING QUESTIONED 169 00:11:58,084 --> 00:11:59,718 ABOUT HER REACTION TO THE CRASH. 170 00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:02,254 YOU WERE FURIOUS AND SAID, "YOU SKIED DIRECTLY INTO 171 00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:06,258 MY EFFING BACK." AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS. 172 00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:08,227 YES, I DID. OKAY. 173 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:15,034 LANGUAGE. Stephen: AS WELL YOU SHOULD! 174 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,002 I EXPECT MORE DIGNITY FROM THE WOMAN WHO SELLS CANDLES 175 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:23,109 CALLED "THIS SMELLS LIKE MY VAGINA." 176 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:30,749 TRUE STORY. THAT'S A TRUE STORY. 177 00:12:30,749 --> 00:12:35,521 OF THE VICTIM SAYS HE'S UNABLE TO ENJOY WINE TASTINGS 178 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:40,426 AFTER THE COLLISION. THAT'S TRAGIC. 179 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:45,030 I BELIEVE HIS TONGUE QUALIFIES FOR HANDICAP PARKING IN FRONT OF 180 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:48,067 THE LIQUOR STORE. BUT THE REAL STAR OF THE TRIAL 181 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,436 IS THE OPTOMETRIST'S LAWYER, WHO IS, IN LEGAL TERMS, THIRSTY A.F. 182 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:54,240 HERE SHE IS QUESTIONING PALTROW. SINCE YOU'RE NOT DOWN HERE, 183 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,410 MAY I ASK HOW TALL YOU ARE? I'M JUST UNDER 5'10". 184 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,579 OKAY. I AM SO JEALOUS. 185 00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:02,114 I THINK I'M SHRINKING, THOUGH. 186 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,717 YOU AND ME BOTH. I HAVE TO WEAR FOUR INCH 187 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,218 HEELS JUST TO MAKE IT TO 5'5" SO-- 188 00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:11,524 WELL, THEY'RE VERY NICE. OH, THANK YOU. 189 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,992 Stephen: THAT IS CLASSIC PROSECUTOR 190 00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:17,796 GRILLING THE WITNESS. REMINDS ME OF THIS FAMOUS SCENE 191 00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,798 FROM "A FEW GOOD MEN." YOU WANT ANSWERS? 192 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:24,370 I WANT SMOOTHER SKIN! YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL SKIN! 193 00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,372 Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 194 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,841 MY GUESTS ARE HUGH GRANT AND SEAN HAYES, 195 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:33,312 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, SPACE NEWS! 196 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,013 STICK AROUND. 197 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:10,683 ♪ ♪ Stephen: WELCOME BACK, 198 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,519 EVERYBODY! GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND 199 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:22,494 "THE LATE SHOW" BAND, EVERYBODY. EXACTLY. 200 00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:25,698 WE HAVE GOT SOME AMAZING GUESTS TONIGHT. 201 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:35,140 A YOUNG MAN, EVERYONE'S FAVORITE ROM COM, HUGH GRANT. 202 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,943 AND FROM THE NEW BROADWAY PLAY, "GOOD NIGHT, OSCAR," SEAN HAYES 203 00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:43,983 IS GOING TO BE OUT HERE. YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING, YOU 204 00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:47,853 KNOW THAT DAVID STATUE THING WHERE THE PARENTS WERE UPSET 205 00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:52,791 THAT THEY WEREN'T WARNED THAT THE KIDS WERE GOING TO BE SEEING 206 00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,460 THE DAVID. I CAN RELATE INTO WAYS. 207 00:14:54,460 --> 00:15:01,367 FIRST OF ALL, IT IS TERRIBLE FOR YOUNG MAN'S BODY IMAGE TO SEE 208 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:06,372 THE DAVID. TO THINK THAT THAT'S POSSIBLE. 209 00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:08,774 HIS ABS ARE LITERALLY ROCK-HARD. THAT'S NOT FAIR. 210 00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:14,179 BUT THE SECOND THING IS, THIS IS THE FIRST YEAR OF THIS SHOW? 211 00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:17,116 2015 OR 2016, SOMETHING LIKE THAT, WE WANTED TO SHOW THE 212 00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:20,753 DAVID ON THE SHOW AND WE GOT A NOTE FROM CBS THAT SAID YOU 213 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,155 CAN'T SHOW THE DAVID. THAT'S A NAKED MAN. 214 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:28,160 I SAID, IT'S THE DAVID. AND THEY SAID, OKAY, YOU CAN'T 215 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,729 SHOW A CLOSE-UP PICTURE OF THE DAVID. 216 00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:35,267 HAS TO BE FULL BODY PICTURE. IT HAS TO BE OTS COME OVER HERE, 217 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,636 NOT FULL FRAME. YOU CAN'T LEAVE IT UP FOR MORE 218 00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:42,941 THAN TWO SECONDS. THAT'S HOW THREATENINGLY THAT 219 00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:45,244 STATUE IS. WE ONLY LEFT IT UP FOR TWO 220 00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:50,215 SECONDS AND I CERTAINLY HOPE THAT NO ONE PAUSED BEAR DVR IN 221 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:54,620 THAT MOMENT. AND GOT REAL CLOSE TO THE SCREEN 222 00:15:54,620 --> 00:16:00,793 LIKE THAT. AND WENT, WHY ISN'T HE 223 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:06,799 CIRCUMCISED? FOLKS, ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS 224 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:11,103 I LOVE SPACE. IT'S VAST, IT'S MYSTERIOUS 225 00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,304 AND APPARENTLY FULL OF NOUGAT. 226 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,272 AND I LIKE TO GIVE YOU ALL THE COSMIC UPDATES IN MY ONGOING 227 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:25,451 SEGMENT... SPACE NEWS! 228 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:30,823 NICELY DONE. FIRST UP, 229 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:44,770 SPACEX NEWS! THIS GUY. 230 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,906 EARLIER THIS MONTH, ELON MUSK'S SPACEX LAUNCHED AN 231 00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:49,308 INTERNATIONAL CREW OF ASTRONAUTS ON A SPACE STATION MISSION. 232 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:50,642 WHERE, JUST LIKE MUSK'S EMPLOYEES AT TWITTER, 233 00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:51,944 THEY'LL WORK AROUND THE CLOCK, SLEEP AT THE OFFICE, 234 00:16:51,944 --> 00:17:00,853 AND POOP IN A VACUUM. YOU MAY ALSO REMEMBER THAT MUSK 235 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,187 STILL HAS THOUSANDS OF HIS STARLINK INTERNET SATELLITES 236 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:06,925 ORBITING THE EARTH, AND NOW SPACE WATCHERS ARE 237 00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:09,762 WARNING THAT CHINA COULD LAUNCH 13,000 SATELLITES TO 238 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:12,097 DISRUPT STARLINK, BECAUSE CHINESE MILITARY RESEARCHERS 239 00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:18,404 SAY IT COULD THREATEN CHINA'S NATIONAL SECURITY. 240 00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:22,040 I MEAN, THAT SEEMS TOO COMPLICATED OF A PLOT. 241 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,776 IF ELON MUSK REALLY WANTED TO DESTROY CHINA, HE'D BUY IT 242 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:34,586 AND APPOINT HIMSELF CEO. [APPLAUSE] 243 00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:38,357 ACCORDING TO SPACEX, MUSK HAS A NEW ROCKET IN THE WORKS, 244 00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:40,692 THE FIRST LAUNCH ATTEMPT OF WHICH WILL BE NEAR THE END 245 00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:43,328 OF APRIL, BUT "THE REAL GOAL IS TO NOT BLOW UP 246 00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:50,536 ON THE LAUNCH PAD." THAT'S A PRETTY LOW BAR. 247 00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:53,505 "IDEALLY I'D LOVE TO WIN A GOLD MEDAL IN GYMNASTICS. 248 00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:58,143 BUT THE REAL GOAL IS TO NOT CRAP MYSELF ON THE POMMEL HORSE." 249 00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:03,015 COME ON, BABY. NEXT UP, 250 00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:14,126 "SPACE CLEANING NEWS!" [WARBLING] 251 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:20,699 [WHIRRING] A COMPANY IN SWITZERLAND 252 00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:23,302 IS SET TO LAUNCH A GIANT CLAW FOR REMOVING SPACE JUNK 253 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:26,171 THAT WILL GRAB ONTO SPACE DEBRIS AND SEND IT INTO 254 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,974 EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE TO BURN UP. BUT TRUST ME, NO MATTER HOW MANY 255 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,509 QUARTERS YOU FEED THAT CLAW, YOU WILL NEVER GET THE 256 00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:40,252 SPACE PIKACHU. NEXT UP. 257 00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:45,090 PIKA! PIKA, PIKA! 258 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:55,868 NEXT UP, SPACE PRESIDENT NEWS! ["HAIL TO THE CHIEF" PLAYS] 259 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,403 CELESTIS, A TEXAS BASED COMPANY THAT SENDS PEOPLE'S ASHES 260 00:18:58,403 --> 00:19:02,207 TO THE STARS, ANNOUNCED THAT DNA FROM 4 AMERICAN PRESIDENTS 261 00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:03,775 WILL LAUNCH TO DEEP SPACE. NOT THE BEST FIRST IMPRESSION 262 00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:05,677 GIFT FOR THE ALIENS. "ZORG! 263 00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,279 THE NEW NEIGHBORS SENT US SOMETHING-- 264 00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:14,019 IT'S A BLUE DRESS WITH-- EWWWW!" 265 00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:27,165 UGH. [LAUGHTER] 266 00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:36,775 NEXT UP, MARS FLOODING NEWS! 267 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:39,077 RIGHTEOUS! CHINA'S MARS ROVER HAS FOUND 268 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:42,648 HINTS OF CATASTROPHIC FLOODS ON THE RED PLANET 269 00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,082 BUT CAUTION THAT THE REGION COULD HAVE ALSO BEEN COVERED 270 00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:47,219 IN LAVA. THIS NEW DATA SUPPORTS THE 271 00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:49,855 PREVAILING SCIENTIFIC THEORY THAT MARTIANS TRAVELLED BY 272 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:58,063 HOPPING FROM COUCH CUSHION TO COUCH CUSHION. 273 00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:01,800 THE FLOOR IS LAVA. FINALLY. 274 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:08,373 FINALLY, PLANETARY CONJUNCTION NEWS! 275 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:16,315 ♪ ♪ THERE YOU GO. 276 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,950 RECENTLY, JUPITER AND VENUS KISSED IN A STUNNING 277 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,118 PLANETARY CONJUNCTION. AND EVERYONE FOUND OUT THE NEXT 278 00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:22,321 DAY, BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY, JUPITER TOTALLY HAS 279 00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:26,692 A HICKEY. AND THIS RENDEZ-VOUZ 280 00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,927 WAS PARTICULARLY SPECIAL BECAUSE, AS ONE EXPERT PUT IT 281 00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:32,197 "ALTHOUGH VENUS AND JUPITER GET CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER 282 00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:36,468 EVERY FEW YEARS, THIS TIME THERE IS ALSO MARS AND SATURN 283 00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:38,670 IN THE MIX, WHICH IS PRETTY RARE." 284 00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:41,039 AND WITH THAT MANY PLANETS IN THE LIFESTYLE, 285 00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:43,475 YOU KNOW SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET CURIOUS ABOUT URANUS. 286 00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:45,243 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HUGH GRANT! 287 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,130 ♪ ♪ Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 288 00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:08,800 WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW." LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW 289 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:14,172 MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT FROM SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE ROM-COMS AND 290 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:15,040 TELEVISION SERIES LIKE "A VERY ENGLISH SCANDAL" AND "THE 291 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,709 UNDOING." HE NOW STARS IN A NEW MOVIE, 292 00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,578 "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG 293 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,513 THIEVES." WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," 294 00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:39,464 HUGH GRANT. ♪ ♪ 295 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:50,742 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THERE IT IS. 296 00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:53,578 HELO. I LOVE YOU! 297 00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:56,048 Hugh: I LOVE YOU. Stephen: THANK YOU. 298 00:21:56,048 --> 00:22:01,787 HELLO AND WELCOME BACK. Hugh: THANK YOU, STEPHEN. 299 00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:06,358 NICE TO BE BACK. Stephen: WE SPOKE, WE DID 300 00:22:06,358 --> 00:22:09,795 ONE INTERVIEW OVER COVID. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PHYSICALLY HERE 301 00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:12,397 SINCE 2018. WE DID RUN INTO EACH OTHER THIS 302 00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:15,333 SUMMER. DO YOU REMEMBER ME RUNNING INTO 303 00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:17,869 YOU? Hugh: IT HAS COME BACK TO 304 00:22:17,869 --> 00:22:20,605 ME. I WAS VERY DRUNK. 305 00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:25,410 Stephen: I WAS ON MY WAY. Hugh: MORE THAN THAT. 306 00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,379 YOU WERE EMBARRASSING. Stephen: OKAY. 307 00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:29,948 THAT'S WHAT EVIE SAYS, BUT GO ON. 308 00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:34,786 Hugh: I FELT BAD BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU BECAUSE 309 00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:36,621 YOU WERE SO PREPOSTEROUSLY OUT OF CONTEXT. 310 00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:39,024 Stephen: WE ARE IN A RESTAURANT IN FRANCE. 311 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,727 Hugh: THE MOST OBSCURE CORNER OF THE SOUTH OF FRANCE. 312 00:22:41,727 --> 00:22:44,563 HSPEECH WITH A TINY RESTAURAT AND EVERYONE WAS DINING ALFRESCO 313 00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:49,201 AND MY WIFE IS SITTING ACROSS FROM YOU LOOKS OVER MY HEAD AS 314 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:53,238 SOMEBODY WALKS INTO THE DINING ROOM AREA AND SHE GOES, DON'T 315 00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:57,409 LOOK NOW. BUT HUGH GRANT JUST WALKED IN. 316 00:22:57,409 --> 00:22:59,144 I WENT... SHE GOES, AND DON'T GO OVER 317 00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:02,114 THERE. AND I PICKED UP THIS HUGE 318 00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:05,317 TERRINE OF SOUP AND I WALKED OVER AND YOU HAD JUST SAT DOWN 319 00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:11,857 AND I SAID P PARDON, MONSIEUR. YOU'RE VERY NICE. 320 00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:15,026 YOU HAD THE MENU AND SAID I'M SORRY, WHAT'S HAPPENING? 321 00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:20,098 AND THEN I SAID HI, HUGH. IT'S ME, STEPHEN. 322 00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:26,404 AND YOU WENT, "OH, BOLLIX. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. 323 00:23:26,404 --> 00:23:30,008 ">> Stephen: IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO COME OVER WITH A HOT PROP. 324 00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:32,010 DID YOU SPEND A LOT OF TIME OVER THERE. 325 00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:35,714 IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO PROVENCE. 326 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:38,450 THEY SAY IT'S BEAUTIFUL. THEY DIDN'T LIE. 327 00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:40,685 IT'S AMAZING. Hugh: I AM MAD ABOUT IT. 328 00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:43,855 HAVE A HOUSE DOWN THERE AND IT'S THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I AM NICE 329 00:23:43,855 --> 00:23:46,958 AND HAPPY IN THE WHOLE WORLD. Stephen: MEANING YOU'RE NOT 330 00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:50,061 HAPPY TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW? Hugh: NO, MISERABLE. 331 00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:53,598 I AM PRETTY GIRLY HAPPY, HAPPY DOWN THERE. 332 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:58,570 I AM ONE OF THOSE, THERE IS A BREED OF MIDDLE-CLASS BRITISH 333 00:23:58,570 --> 00:24:02,240 PERSON WHO IS ENCHANTED BY EVERYTHING FRENCH. 334 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,076 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS. I JUST LOVE IT. 335 00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:14,219 THEY SAY, THE BUTCHER SAYS, DO YOU WANT THE HEAD OF THE COW? 336 00:24:14,219 --> 00:24:19,024 OUI, S'IL VOUS PLAIT. DO YOU& WANT THE INTESTINES? 337 00:24:19,024 --> 00:24:22,360 YES, I'LL HAVE THAT. THE LOCAL MARKET WHICH NONE OF 338 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,462 THE LOCALS USE. IT'S PEOPLE GETTING SOMETHING 339 00:24:24,462 --> 00:24:27,866 FROM THE CASH AND CARRY. I BUY EVERYTHING. 340 00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:31,436 THEY RUB THEIR HANDS WHEN I ARRIVE. 341 00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:33,738 Stephen: TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME, I LOVE IT. 342 00:24:33,738 --> 00:24:39,044 YOU HAVE TALKED A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR AMBIVALENCE ABOUT 343 00:24:39,044 --> 00:24:41,446 ACTING. ACTING SEEMS TO LIKE YOU A LOT. 344 00:24:41,446 --> 00:24:44,916 BUT IF YOU HADN'T BEEN AN ACTOR, WAS THE ROAD NOT TAKEN FOR HUGH 345 00:24:44,916 --> 00:24:49,855 GRANT? WAS THERE A BACKUP PLAN? 346 00:24:49,855 --> 00:24:52,591 Hugh: THERE WERE THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE. 347 00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:56,127 I WAS IN ADVERTISING FOR A BIT. I WROTE RADIO COMMERCIALS AND 348 00:24:56,127 --> 00:24:58,597 PRODUCE THEM AND I WAS QUITE HAPPY DOING THAT. 349 00:24:58,597 --> 00:25:00,966 Stephen: DO YOU REMEMBER PRODUCT THAT YOU SOLD? 350 00:25:00,966 --> 00:25:05,403 Hugh: OH, YES. I WROTE SOME GOOD ADS FOR MIGHTY 351 00:25:05,403 --> 00:25:09,407 WHITE SLICED BREAD, ALL THE GOODNESS OF BROWN BY THE GREAT 352 00:25:09,407 --> 00:25:17,415 TASTE OF WHITE. BRYLCREEM. 353 00:25:17,415 --> 00:25:23,021 A LITTLE DAB OF BRYLCREEM IN YOUR HAIR GIVES YOU THE 354 00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:25,323 BRYLCREEM BOUNCED. Stephen: YOU WROTE OUT THE 355 00:25:25,323 --> 00:25:27,058 WORD BOUNCE? Hugh: HAD TO JAM IT IN. 356 00:25:27,058 --> 00:25:30,729 Stephen: YOU WERE EDUCATED AT OXFORD AND THEN YOU ARE 357 00:25:30,729 --> 00:25:34,299 WRITING THAT HAD THE WORD BOUNCE IN IT? 358 00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:37,235 Hugh: THAT'S WHAT THEY TEACH YOU AT OXFORD. 359 00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:40,772 I MEAN, THAT'S ONE ROAD. I HAD SO MANY JOBS BEFORE ACTING 360 00:25:40,772 --> 00:25:44,576 HAPPENED. I WAS A VERY GOOD TOILET CLEANER 361 00:25:44,576 --> 00:25:46,211 FOR A TIME. Stephen: REALLY? 362 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:49,714 Hugh: YEAH. I STILL QUITE LIKE TO CLEAN A 363 00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:50,649 TOILET. Stephen: REALLY? 364 00:25:50,649 --> 00:25:53,318 Hugh: YEAH, I BECAME VERY ACCOMPLISHED. 365 00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,353 Stephen: IT'S GOOD. YOU REALLY BUFF IT. 366 00:25:55,353 --> 00:25:58,490 Hugh: YES, I DO, I LIKE TO MAKE IT SPARKLING. 367 00:25:58,490 --> 00:26:00,759 I CLEANED A COUPLE OF YEARS EARLIER. 368 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:03,128 Stephen: WHAT AN HONOR. THANK YOU. 369 00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:05,063 Hugh: THEY WERE IN A TERRIBLE STATE. 370 00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:06,564 Stephen: WE SHOULD HAVE THE MONOGRAMMED. 371 00:26:06,564 --> 00:26:10,502 HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT CHOOSING ROLES THESE DAYS? 372 00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:13,905 WE HAVE A PHOTO HERE OF YOU AND YOUR VERY FIRST FILM. 373 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:18,143 WHAT IS THIS? Hugh: YEAH. 374 00:26:18,143 --> 00:26:21,112 I WAS STILL AT OXFORD AND SOME GUYS GOT TOGETHER, GOT SOME 375 00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:23,982 MONEY TOGETHER TO MAKE AN AMATEUR FILM AND ASKED ME TO BE 376 00:26:23,982 --> 00:26:28,920 IN IT AND I SAID NO. AND THEN I REALIZED THIS GIRL I 377 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,023 REALLY FANCIED COLD VICTORIA STUD WAS GOING TO BE IN IT. 378 00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:35,293 Stephen: HER NAME WAS VICTORIA STEAD. 379 00:26:35,293 --> 00:26:39,197 Hugh: YES. SO I SAID YES. 380 00:26:39,197 --> 00:26:40,632 THAT STARTED THE SLIPPERY SLOPE INTO ACTING. 381 00:26:40,632 --> 00:26:44,536 STILL WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU. 382 00:26:44,536 --> 00:26:47,605 Hugh: YOU FLUBBED IT AGAIN. YOU FLUBBED IT. 383 00:26:47,605 --> 00:26:49,207 Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HUGH GRANT. 384 00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:49,874 STICK AROUND. 385 00:26:57,515 --> 00:26:59,884 Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THAT'S THE STAR OF 386 00:26:59,884 --> 00:27:03,288 "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES," HUGH GRANT. 387 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:04,389 THE ROLES HAVE CHANGED A LITTLE BIT. 388 00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:06,725 YOU ARE PLAYING A LOT OF HEAVIES AT THIS POINT. 389 00:27:06,725 --> 00:27:10,862 YOU HAVE SOME NICE BAD GUYS INCLUDING THIS MOVIE. 390 00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:14,199 YOU HAVE SAID "I LOVE A TOTAL FRAUD. 391 00:27:14,199 --> 00:27:17,102 THE MORE DUPLICITOUS AND DIABOLICAL AND SELFISH AND VAIN 392 00:27:17,102 --> 00:27:20,705 CHARACTERS THESE DAYS, THE MORE IT APPEALS TO ME." 393 00:27:20,705 --> 00:27:24,442 DO EXPLAIN. Hugh: WELL, I MEAN, WE ALL 394 00:27:24,442 --> 00:27:27,712 HAVE A BADDIE. NOT JUST ACTORS BUT AUDIENCES 395 00:27:27,712 --> 00:27:29,681 LIKE BADDIES. GIRLS LIKE BADDIES. 396 00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:32,083 Stephen: I HAVE HEARD. Hugh: WHY? 397 00:27:32,083 --> 00:27:35,153 Stephen: I DON'T KNOW. Hugh: IT DOES SEEM TO SUIT 398 00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:39,557 ME BETTER. MAYBE IT'S CLOSER TO ME. 399 00:27:39,557 --> 00:27:42,494 LAYERS OF DUPLICITY SUIT ACTING BECAUSE ACTING IS COVERING 400 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:44,896 THINGS UP. Stephen: ACTING IS LYING. 401 00:27:44,896 --> 00:27:49,567 I'VE ALWAYS SAID ACTING IS LYING. 402 00:27:49,567 --> 00:27:50,969 [LAUGHTER] THIS EVIL GUY IN 403 00:27:50,969 --> 00:27:54,739 "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES" IS FORGE FITZWILLIAM. 404 00:27:54,739 --> 00:27:57,008 WE HAVE A CLIP OF THE MOVIE WE ARE ABOUT TO SHOW HERE. 405 00:27:57,008 --> 00:28:00,745 WHAT ARE GOING TO SEE? YOU SEEM TO BE GREETING PEOPLE. 406 00:28:00,745 --> 00:28:04,916 Hugh: I AM A CON MAN WHO FALLS IN WITH OUR HEROES AND 407 00:28:04,916 --> 00:28:09,254 THEY'VE GOT SORT OF BAND OF RATHER HONORABLE THIEVES WHO 408 00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:11,122 STEAL MONEY FROM THE RICH TO GIVE TO THE POOR AND THEN I 409 00:28:11,122 --> 00:28:17,028 START TO PERSUADE THEM TO STEAL FROM NOT SUCH RICH PEOPLE. 410 00:28:17,028 --> 00:28:21,433 I AM CLEARLY NOT QUITE AS NICE. ON THIS BIG HEIST, THEY'LL GET 411 00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:24,569 CAPTURED AND IMPRISONED AND SOMEHOW I'M NOT. 412 00:28:24,569 --> 00:28:27,806 YEARS LATER THE ESCAPE FROM PRISON AND THEY COME TO FIND ME, 413 00:28:27,806 --> 00:28:33,311 BY WHICH TIME I'VE BECOME MYSTERIOUSLY THE SORT OF HEAD, 414 00:28:33,311 --> 00:28:38,516 THE CHANCELLOR OF THE WHOLE CITY IN THE WORLD OF 415 00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:43,822 "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS." [LAUGHS] 416 00:28:43,822 --> 00:28:51,496 OLD FRIENDS. WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE. 417 00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:55,834 OH. DO I SPY A LITTLE BIT OF GRAY? 418 00:28:55,834 --> 00:28:58,603 I DO. I LIKE IT. 419 00:28:58,603 --> 00:29:00,605 SCOUNDRELLY BUT PROFESSORIAL. YOU LOOK LIKE A-- WHAT DO YOU 420 00:29:00,605 --> 00:29:04,275 LOOK LIKE? OH, WELL, READ FISHERMAN WITH 421 00:29:04,275 --> 00:29:09,714 SECRETS. I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE HUGS BUT I 422 00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:24,162 NEED ONE. Stephen: FOR THE FEW PEOPLE 423 00:29:24,162 --> 00:29:28,299 I SEE CON MEN. FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW, 424 00:29:28,299 --> 00:29:31,169 "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" WHICH THE MOVIE IS BASED ON, THERE ARE 425 00:29:31,169 --> 00:29:34,105 CHARACTER CLASSES. YOU ARE A THIEF OR YOU'RE AN 426 00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:35,773 ASSASSIN. YOU'RE A PALADIN. 427 00:29:35,773 --> 00:29:42,113 MAGIC USER OR SOMETHING. WHAT'S YOUR CHARACTER? 428 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:45,950 IS HE A THIEF? Hugh: I AM TOLD I AM A 429 00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:47,952 ROGUE. Stephen: FORM OF THIEF? 430 00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:51,322 Hugh: I WAS TOLD BACKSTAGE THAT YOU PLAY THIS GAME. 431 00:29:51,322 --> 00:29:53,958 Stephen: I WAS ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH IT. 432 00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:55,827 Hugh: HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT. 433 00:29:55,827 --> 00:29:59,297 HERE I AM, I'M ASHAMED, PROMOTING IT AND I'VE NEVER 434 00:29:59,297 --> 00:30:02,233 PLAYED IT. Stephen: NO HISTORY WITH 435 00:30:02,233 --> 00:30:03,268 YOU? Hugh: NOT YET. 436 00:30:03,268 --> 00:30:07,138 Stephen: NO ONE TRIED TO GET YOU TO PLAY? 437 00:30:07,138 --> 00:30:08,339 Hugh: CHRIS PINE OCCASIONALLY. 438 00:30:08,339 --> 00:30:12,310 THERE WAS TALK OF IT. I DON'T KNOW. 439 00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:15,613 FILMS ARE SO WEIRD NOW. THEY ARE WEIRD BECAUSE IN THE 440 00:30:15,613 --> 00:30:20,752 OLD DAYS, BY THE END OF THE SECOND WEEK YOU WERE ALL GETTING 441 00:30:20,752 --> 00:30:22,387 DRUNK IN THE EVENING AND HAVING DINNER AND FALLING IN LOVE WITH 442 00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:26,824 EACH OTHER AND ALL OF THAT. ALL OF THAT STOPPED BECAUSE OF 443 00:30:26,824 --> 00:30:28,726 TELEPHONES. EVERYONE GOES HOME AND LOOKS AT 444 00:30:28,726 --> 00:30:30,562 TWITTER. IT'S SO SAD. 445 00:30:30,562 --> 00:30:34,098 Stephen: IF THERE WEREN'T TELEPHONES ON SET, THERE WOULD 446 00:30:34,098 --> 00:30:37,969 BE MORE AFFAIRS GOING ON? Hugh: I THINK SO. 447 00:30:37,969 --> 00:30:42,106 QUENTIN TARANTINO BANDS TELEPHONES ON THE SET. 448 00:30:42,106 --> 00:30:49,113 PEOPLE ON THE SET, THEY ALL DO SHAG EACH OTHER. 449 00:30:49,113 --> 00:30:53,151 Stephen: I LOVE THAT TERM. Hugh: IT'S FRIENDLY. 450 00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:56,888 Stephen: IT'S ALSO A DANCE IN THE UNITED STATES. 451 00:30:56,888 --> 00:31:00,525 THE SHAG IS THE STATE DANCE OF MY HOME STATE OF CAROLINA SO I 452 00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:03,361 WOULD TELL PEOPLE, I AM A SHAG CHAMPION. 453 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:08,833 MY ENGLISH FRIENDS WOULD GO, GOOD TO KNOW. 454 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:19,344 WE HAD REGE-JEAN PAGE, THAT HANDSOME-- 455 00:31:19,344 --> 00:31:25,149 Hugh: IF YOU LIKE THAT. Stephen: I'M NOT SAYING-- 456 00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:29,587 YOU ARE ALL ATTRACTIVE. DOES THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFO 457 00:31:29,587 --> 00:31:32,924 UNCOMFORTABLE? YOU ARE BREAKING OUT IN HIVES. 458 00:31:32,924 --> 00:31:35,026 THE ONLY REASON I BRING HIM UP IS THAT HE SAID DURING THIS 459 00:31:35,026 --> 00:31:41,566 MOVIE GAVE HIM HIS BEST ASS OF HIS CAREER BECAUSE SWORD 460 00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:43,334 FIGHTING REQUIRES SO MUCH SQUATTING. 461 00:31:43,334 --> 00:31:44,869 HOW MUCH SQUATTING WAS THERE FOR YOU? 462 00:31:44,869 --> 00:31:51,843 Hugh: THERE WAS A LOT. I ALSO HAVE AN INCREDIBLE ASS 463 00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,544 ACTUALLY. Stephen: HUGH, LOVELY TO 464 00:31:53,544 --> 00:32:00,451 HAVE YOU."DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HG THIEVES" OPENS IN THEATERS THIS 465 00:32:00,451 --> 00:32:02,587 FRIDAY. THAT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS 466 00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:04,555 HUGH GRANT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE 467 00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:09,394 STAR OF THE BROADWAY PLAY "GOOD NIGHT, OSCAR," SEAN HAYES. 468 00:32:09,394 --> 00:32:09,994 THAT'S IT. 469 00:32:23,708 --> 00:32:24,575 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 470 00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:27,345 WELCOME BACK. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT 471 00:32:27,345 --> 00:32:32,850 GUEST IS AN EMMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR FROM "WILL & GRACE," 472 00:32:32,850 --> 00:32:40,024 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, SEAN HAYES. 473 00:32:40,024 --> 00:32:48,366 ♪ NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOOD NIGHT ♪ 474 00:32:48,366 --> 00:33:06,951 ♪ SLEEP TIGHT ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 475 00:33:06,951 --> 00:33:11,656 Stephen: THERE YOU GO. Sean: THEY TOLD ME MY 476 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,292 BLOCKING AND I COMPLETE LEE FORGOT IT. 477 00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:19,764 BLOCKING IS WHERE YOU GO ON THE STAGE. 478 00:33:19,764 --> 00:33:24,902 Stephen: I LOVE THAT SWEEPING HAIR. 479 00:33:24,902 --> 00:33:29,073 Sean: YOURS IS ALWAYS THAT WAY. 480 00:33:29,073 --> 00:33:32,243 YOURS IS A WIG. MINE IS REAL. 481 00:33:32,243 --> 00:33:35,079 WE ARE OFF TO THE RACES. Stephen: YOU AND I HAVE NOT 482 00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,549 HAD A CHANCE TO SIT DOWN AND JOB BONE, AS WE CALL IT, EVER SINCE 483 00:33:38,549 --> 00:33:46,891 I WAS ON YOUR PODCAST, SMART SMARTLESS. 484 00:33:46,891 --> 00:33:49,260 I SHOULD DO A PODCAST, I WOULD LOVE THAT. 485 00:33:49,260 --> 00:33:52,563 I WAS HER GUEST. Sean: YOU WERE FANTASTIC. 486 00:33:52,563 --> 00:33:54,699 Stephen: I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME. 487 00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,501 Sean: THANK YOU. LET ME FINISH. 488 00:33:56,501 --> 00:33:57,902 YOU ARE NOT ON IT NOW. I AM ON YOUR SHOW. 489 00:33:57,902 --> 00:34:02,273 I AM KIDDING. YOU ERE FANTASTIC. 490 00:34:02,273 --> 00:34:05,443 I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A BIG FAN OF YOURS. 491 00:34:05,443 --> 00:34:07,979 I LOVE YOU. YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE BEST 492 00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:11,983 AUDIENCES. I'M A HUGE FAN OF THIS SHOW. 493 00:34:11,983 --> 00:34:16,988 I HAVE SEEN EVERY-- I'VE SEEN TWO EPISODES. 494 00:34:16,988 --> 00:34:18,289 Stephen: YOU HAVE SEEN EVERY GOOD ONE. 495 00:34:18,289 --> 00:34:21,959 Sean: ONE OF THEM, I HAPPENED TO BE ON. 496 00:34:21,959 --> 00:34:24,495 THE SECOND ONE, I'M GOING TO WATCH TONIGHT. 497 00:34:24,495 --> 00:34:26,898 I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHO YOUR GUESTS ARE. 498 00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:29,434 Stephen: IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY GOOD. 499 00:34:29,434 --> 00:34:32,036 STICK AROUND TILL THE AND WHEN SEAN HAYES IS ON THE SHOW. 500 00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:33,905 Sean: HE'S GOING TO BE ON THE SHOW? 501 00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:36,774 Stephen: ONE OF THE THINGS WE TALKED ABOUT, I DON'T WANT TO 502 00:34:36,774 --> 00:34:39,710 GET INTO WHY WE TALKED ABOUT IT BUT WE TALKED ABOUT THAT WHEN 503 00:34:39,710 --> 00:34:44,315 JASON BATEMAN WAS ON LAST TIME HE WASN'T WEARING UNDERWEAR. 504 00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:46,284 SO-- I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 505 00:34:46,284 --> 00:34:48,986 I FOUND OUT LATER. I KNEW THAT HE WAS IN A BAD MOOD 506 00:34:48,986 --> 00:34:53,291 AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY. CHAFING, EVIDENTLY. 507 00:34:53,291 --> 00:35:02,867 SO I SENT ALL OF YOU UNDERWEAR. Sean: WHICH I HAVE ON NOW. 508 00:35:02,867 --> 00:35:05,203 Stephen: THAT IS A QUALITY BRIEF. 509 00:35:05,203 --> 00:35:08,439 Sean: IT'S AN OKAY BRIEF. I LIKE IT BECAUSE I LIKE TO FEEL 510 00:35:08,439 --> 00:35:11,843 AS CLOSE TO YOU AS POSSIBLE, STEPHEN. 511 00:35:11,843 --> 00:35:14,078 Stephen: BOXER BRIEFS OR BRIEF BRIEFS? 512 00:35:14,078 --> 00:35:15,613 Sean: THEY ARE JUST UNDERWEAR. 513 00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:20,151 LET'S TALK ABOUT THE PLAY. Stephen: YOU ARE COMING 514 00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:22,286 BACK TO BROADWAY, STARRING IN "GOOD NIGHT, OSCAR." 515 00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:27,058 Sean: HERE'S WHAT I LOVE, SPONTANEITY. 516 00:35:27,058 --> 00:35:28,926 HOW DID YOU GET THAT? Stephen: THEY SENT IT TO 517 00:35:28,926 --> 00:35:32,396 ME. WE MADE IT. 518 00:35:32,396 --> 00:35:34,866 FIRST OF ALL, WELCOME BACK TO BROADWAY. 519 00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:40,872 DELIGHTFUL TO HAVE YOU BACK. WHO IS OSCAR AND WHAT DOES THE 520 00:35:40,872 --> 00:35:43,040 PLAY ABOUT? Sean: OSCAR LEVANT, FOR 521 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:51,983 THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, BIG RACONTEUR, AMAZING GUEST IN THE 522 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:55,186 '60s. HE WAS AN INCREDIBLE VIRTUOSO. 523 00:35:55,186 --> 00:36:01,626 HE WAS A PIANIST, WROTE BOOKS, HE ALSO STRUGGLED WITH MENTAL 524 00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:04,428 HEALTH AND ADDICTION AND HE WOULD SPEAK OPENLY ABOUT IT ON 525 00:36:04,428 --> 00:36:07,632 LIVE TELEVISION WITH BACK ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW," WAS CRAZY. 526 00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:09,934 PEOPLE STRUGGLE TALKING ABOUT IT TODAY. 527 00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:13,204 USING IT AS FODDER TO MAKE FUN OF HIMSELF AND IT WAS SUPER 528 00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:16,841 SHOCKING. THE TAGLINE ON OUR POSTER IS 529 00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:20,444 "ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ON LIVE TELEVISION IN ONE NIGHT IT DID." 530 00:36:20,444 --> 00:36:23,047 THE NAME OF THE SHOW, "GOOD NIGHT, OSCAR" BECAUSE JACK 531 00:36:23,047 --> 00:36:26,217 MA ARE USED TO SIGN OFF SAYING AT THE END OF 532 00:36:26,217 --> 00:36:29,186 "THE TONIGHT SHOW," HE WOULD SAY GOOD NIGHT, OSCAR LEVANT, 533 00:36:29,186 --> 00:36:33,591 WHEREVER YOU ARE. IT TAKES PLACE, THE WHOLE PLAY 534 00:36:33,591 --> 00:36:36,827 TAKES PLACE IN REAL LIFE, OSCAR LEVANT COCKED A FOUR HOUR 535 00:36:36,827 --> 00:36:37,428 PASS FROM A MENTAL 536 00:36:38,329 --> 00:36:46,871 HEALTH PURE IN A GAME SHOW. FOR THIS PLAY WE SWITCHED IT TO 537 00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:49,507 "THE TONIGHT SHOW." IT CULMINATES IN THIS 538 00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:52,243 UNBELIEVABLE APPEARANCE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW." 539 00:36:52,243 --> 00:36:55,613 Sean: HE HAD SUCH-- Sean: NOT UNLIKE THIS ONE. 540 00:36:55,613 --> 00:37:08,960 Stephen: HOW LONG DID THEY GIVE YOU? 541 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:12,463 Sean: I'LL TELL YOU, A LOT LONGER THAN THIS PLACE. 542 00:37:12,463 --> 00:37:16,000 Stephen: HE'S GOT GREAT SAYINGS. 543 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,035 FANTASTIC. Sean: MY FAVORITE ONE WHICH 544 00:37:18,035 --> 00:37:23,107 IS NOT IN THE PLAY. HE SAID, "I TAKE PRESCRIPTION 545 00:37:23,107 --> 00:37:26,811 PILLS FOR THE SIDE EFFECTS." Stephen: WHAT HE SAID ABOUT 546 00:37:26,811 --> 00:37:28,379 DEBBIE REYNOLDS. Sean: I DON'T KNOW THAT 547 00:37:28,379 --> 00:37:30,648 ONE. Stephen: I HAVE KNOWN 548 00:37:30,648 --> 00:37:33,351 DEBBIE REYNOLDS SINCE-- Sean: NO, DORIS DAY. 549 00:37:33,351 --> 00:37:36,988 Stephen: DORIS DAY. Sean: GO AHEAD, YOU'RE THE 550 00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:39,523 HOST. I KNEW DORIS DAY BEFORE SHE 551 00:37:39,523 --> 00:37:49,133 BECAME A VIRGIN. Stephen: THERE IS A FINE 552 00:37:49,133 --> 00:37:56,140 LINE BETWEEN GENIUS AND SANITY. I'VE ERASED THAT LINE. 553 00:37:56,140 --> 00:37:58,476 FROM HIS WORK IN "AN AMERICAN IN PARIS." 554 00:37:58,476 --> 00:38:03,914 Sean: AS HE GOT OLDER, IT'S HEART-WRENCHING, FUNNY BUT 555 00:38:03,914 --> 00:38:05,883 HEART-WRENCHING STORY. Stephen: OKAY. 556 00:38:05,883 --> 00:38:08,285 WHEN YOU'RE NOT ON BROADWAY AND NOT A PODCAST ARE COMING ARE 557 00:38:08,285 --> 00:38:09,620 ALSO A WRITER. YOU'VE GOT A NEW BOOK. 558 00:38:09,620 --> 00:38:15,926 IT IS CALLED "TIME OUT." Sean: COMES OUT MAY 30. 559 00:38:15,926 --> 00:38:22,700 YOU CAN PREORDER IT BUT IT COMES OUT MAY 30 WHERE EVER BOOKS 560 00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:31,676 AREN'T BANNED. Stephen: MIGHT NOT BE 561 00:38:31,676 --> 00:38:33,678 POPULAR IN FLORIDA. Sean: I HOPE IT IS POPULAR 562 00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:40,051 IN FLORIDA. WROTE IT WITH MY PRODUCING 563 00:38:40,051 --> 00:38:44,722 PARTNER. IT'S A COMING-OF-AGE STORY 564 00:38:44,722 --> 00:38:47,892 ABOUT, THE BACKDROP OF HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS. 565 00:38:47,892 --> 00:38:51,996 FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS KIND OF MEETS HEART STOPPER. 566 00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:57,601 TODD AND I WERE DISCUSSING ONE DAY ABOUT HOW DIFFERENT WE WERE 567 00:38:57,601 --> 00:38:59,103 GROWING UP GAY ANCIENT BURBS OF CHICAGO. 568 00:38:59,103 --> 00:39:03,641 HE WAS INTO SPORTS AND I WAS INTO ARTS. 569 00:39:03,641 --> 00:39:08,079 NEWS FLASH. WHAT WOULD IT HAVE BEEN IF WE 570 00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:11,015 HAD KNOWN EACH OTHER THAN WHY HAVEN'T WE SEEN THAT STORY OF 571 00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:13,184 THAT FRIENDSHIP, RELATIONSHIP QUESTION LIKELY HEIGHTENED BY 572 00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:18,823 MAKING THE STAR HAS A VASCULAR PLAYER IN GEORGIA COME OUT AS 573 00:39:18,823 --> 00:39:21,225 GAY. HOW IT AFFECTS HIS FAMILY, HIS 574 00:39:21,225 --> 00:39:23,894 TEAMMATES, THE STATE. ALL OF THOSE THINGS, HOW IT 575 00:39:23,894 --> 00:39:26,530 AFFECTS YOU. IT'S HARD ENOUGH BEING A 576 00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:28,499 TEENAGER, HARD ENOUGH COMING OUT AS A TEENAGER AND HARD AND OF 577 00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:30,901 BEING IN SPORTS COMING OUT AS A TEENAGER. 578 00:39:30,901 --> 00:39:35,306 IT'S AN AREA WHERE WE REALLY WANTED TO TACKLED KIND OF 579 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:38,909 FURTHER THE LGBTQ STORIES IN AMERICA ESPECIALLY WITH YOUTH 580 00:39:38,909 --> 00:39:42,012 BECAUSE IT'S A SCARY TIME FOR ALL. 581 00:39:42,012 --> 00:39:43,714 FORMIDABLE YEARS. IT'S IMPORTANT TO FEEL ACCEPTED 582 00:39:43,714 --> 00:39:47,451 AND LOVED MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. 583 00:39:47,451 --> 00:39:49,653 [APPLAUSE] Stephen: YOU CAN ORDER IT 584 00:39:49,653 --> 00:39:53,023 NOW. PREVIEWS OF "GOOD NIGHT, OSCAR" 585 00:39:53,023 --> 00:39:55,526 BEGIN NEXT WEEK. IT'S SEAN HAYES, EVERYBODY. 586 00:39:55,526 --> 00:39:56,861 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 587 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,415 Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 588 00:40:18,415 --> 00:40:21,318 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE MARY J. BLIGE 589 00:40:21,318 --> 00:40:24,355 AND CHEF ALISON ROMAN. STICK AROUND FOR JAMES. 590 00:40:24,355 --> 00:40:25,256 GOOD NIGHT. ♪ ♪