1 00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:04,671 FOX NEWS HOST TUCKER CARLSON AIRED PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN VIDEO OF 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,507 THE ASSAULT ON THE CAPITOL ON HIS SHOW LAST NIGHT. 3 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:10,110 WHAT CARLSON DID IS USE SELECTED CLIPS FROM SURVEILLANCE TAPES 4 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:13,413 PROVIDED TO HIM BY HOUSE SPEAKER KEVIN McCARTY TO CLAIM FALSELY 5 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:18,118 THAT JOURNALISTS AND LAWMAKERS LIED ABOUT THE JANUARY 6 ATTACK 6 00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:20,587 ON THE CAPITOL. CARLSON CALLED JANUARY 6 7 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:23,556 "MOSTLY PEACEFUL AND MEEK WITH A SMALL PERCENT THAT 8 00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:26,793 WAS VIOLENT." HE SHOWED LIMITED, EDITED 9 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:30,063 FOOTAGE MONDAY NIGHT ON HIS PROGRAM. 10 00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:36,236 AND NOW... TUCKER CARLSON PRESENTS "JAWS." 11 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:39,339 WE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE OCEAN. 12 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:41,841 THANKS TO THE NEW REPUBLICAN SPEAKER'S OFFICE, WE GAINED 13 00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:44,744 ACCESS TO THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF SURVEILLANCE VIDEO THAT HELP 14 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:48,615 ANSWER THAT QUESTION. IT DOES PROVE BEYOND DOUBT 15 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:51,651 THAT DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS LIED ABOUT THE SO-CALLED SHARK 16 00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:54,220 ATTACK. AND ONCE YOU SEE THE VIDEO, 17 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,923 YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY. WATCH. 18 00:00:56,923 --> 00:01:03,563 ♪ BABY SHARK, DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO ♪ 19 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:07,534 ♪ BABY SHARK ♪ THAT'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. 20 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:10,170 Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 21 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:17,444 TONIGHT... SHUT THE TUCK UP! 22 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,846 FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES... JAMES TAYLOR. 23 00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:26,553 AND EVA LONGORIA. FEATURING LOUIS CATO 24 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:32,392 AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND. AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE 25 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,527 FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, 26 00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:47,807 IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 27 00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:54,481 Stephen: PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. 28 00:01:54,481 --> 00:02:00,620 I MISSED THIS LAST NIGHT. HAPPY TUESDAY. 29 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,690 HAPPY TUESDAY, TUESDAY. THANK YOU, EVERYBODY. 30 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:07,927 HEY, EVERYBODY! PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. 31 00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:10,997 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, 32 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,866 IN HERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD. 33 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:21,407 I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. THANKS IN LARGE PART OF THE 34 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:23,710 FORMER PRESIDENT, THERE'S A WHOLE INDUSTRY OF PEOPLE WHO 35 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:27,847 MAKE A GOOD LIVING TRYING TO MAKE YOU THINK YOU'RE INSANE. 36 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:32,185 WELL, I MAKE A VERY GOOD LIVING REMINDING YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT. 37 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:39,292 NOW, YOU'D THINK THAT ONCE THE PEOPLE GASLIGHTING YOU HAVE BEEN 38 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,761 REVEALED TO BE LIARS, SAY, IN MULTIPLE TEXT MESSAGES 39 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:46,666 IN A $1.6 BILLION COURT FILING BY DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS, 40 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,335 THEY WOULD PUMP THE BRAKES. BUT APPARENTLY, SOME PEOPLE ARE 41 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:53,039 JUST ADDICTED TO BEING DICKS. CASE IN POINT. 42 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:57,677 FOX NEWS HOST AND TODDLER SUCKING ON A DOG TURD, 43 00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:02,248 TUCKER CARLSON. HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED. 44 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,351 IN ORDER TO BECOME SPEAKER, KEVIN McCARTHY HAD TO MAKE A LOT 45 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:08,955 OF STUPID PROMISES TO A LOT OF AWFUL PEOPLE, LIKE MATT GAETZ. 46 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:12,492 ONE OF THOSE PROMISES WAS TO RELEASE 41,000 HOURS OF CAPITOL 47 00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:15,562 SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE FROM THE JANUARY 6TH RIOT, BECAUSE 48 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,765 THE FREEDOM CAUCUS HELPED CAUSE THAT MOST TRAGIC DAY IN OUR 49 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:22,502 NATION'S CAPITAL, AND THEY DESPERATELY NEED SOMEONE, 50 00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:24,671 ANYONE, TO CREATE PROPAGANDA TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT WAS 51 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,806 NO BIG DEAL, SO THEY CAN STAY IN OFFICE, AND MAYBE DO 52 00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:32,412 A BETTER COUP NEXT TIME? AND McCARTHY KEPT HIS PROMISE. 53 00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:34,380 HE GAVE ALL THAT FOOTAGE TO TUCKER CARLSON, WHO, LAST NIGHT, 54 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:38,618 CHERRYPICKED INNOCUOUS CLIPS TO TRY TO REWRITE WHAT WE ALL SAW 55 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,320 HAPPENING WITH OUR OWN EYES ON JANUARY 6TH. 56 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:45,124 THEY WERE PEACEFUL. THEY WERE ORDERLY AND MEEK. 57 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,594 THESE WERE NOT INSURRECTIONISTS. 58 00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:50,029 THEY WERE SIGHTSEERS. Stephen: SIGHTSEERS? 59 00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:52,565 SIGHTSEERS, REALLY? "GRAB A ROCK, HONEY. 60 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,970 WE'RE GOING TO THE LOUVRE! I WANT TO PEACEFULLY SMEAR 61 00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,773 MY CRAP ON THE MONA LISA. SEE IF SHE KEEPS SMILING 62 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:04,744 AFTER THAT!" HE LIED SOME MORE. 63 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:08,648 FOOTAGE FROM INSIDE THE CAPITOL OVERTURNS THE STORY 64 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:11,384 YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT JANUARY 6TH. 65 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,686 PROTESTERS QUEUE UP IN NEAT LITTLE LINES. 66 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:14,821 THEY GIVE EACH OTHER TOURS OUTSIDE THE 67 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,389 SPEAKER'S OFFICE. THEY TAKE CHEERFUL SELFIES 68 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:19,392 AND THEY SMILE. THEY ARE NOT 69 00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:22,128 DESTROYING THE CAPITOL. THEY OBVIOUSLY REVERE 70 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:25,198 THE CAPITOL. Stephen: YES, YES, 71 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:28,368 OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH THAT THEY QUEUED UP NEATLY TO SMASH THE 72 00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:32,038 WINDOWS. WE ALL NUMBER THEIR CHANCE. 73 00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:37,877 WAIT YOUR TURN! WAIT YOUR TURN! 74 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:41,447 Stephen: TUCKER ALSO TALKED ABOUT THE Q SHAMAN, 75 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:50,623 THE RIOTER WHO HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT HIS OWN BEHAVIOR 76 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,393 ON JANUARY 6TH. HE SAID, "I WAS WRONG FOR 77 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,094 ENTERING THE CAPITOL. I HAVE NO EXCUSE, 78 00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:56,729 NO EXCUSE WHATSOEVER. THE BEHAVIOR 79 00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:59,966 IS INDEFENSIBLE." MAYBE SO, BUT TUCKER IN-DEFENDED 80 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,535 HIM. THE SINGLE MOST FAMOUS 81 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:06,973 PERSON ARRESTED THAT DAY WAS A NAVY VETERAN FROM ARIZONA 82 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,576 CALLED JACOB CHANSLEY, OFTEN REFERRED TO AS THE QANON SHAMAN. 83 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,779 THE TAPES SHOW THE CAPITOL POLICE NEVER STOPPED JACOB 84 00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:15,648 CHANSLEY. THEY HELPED HIM. 85 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:19,452 THEY ACTED AS HIS TOUR GUIDES. Stephen: OKAY, BUT THE 86 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:21,721 CAPITOL POLICE SAID THAT THEIR OFFICER ONLY DID THAT IN ORDER 87 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:26,225 TO "DE-ESCALATE" THE SITUATION BECAUSE THE OFFICER 88 00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:29,295 WAS OUTNUMBERED. EVIDENTLY, TUCKER CARLSON 89 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:32,031 HAS NEVER SEEN A HOSTAGE NEGOTIATION. 90 00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:33,900 "NO ONE WAS SCARED OF THE MAN IN THE BOMB VEST. 91 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:37,904 IN FACT, OFFICIALS WERE SAYING THEY WOULD GIVE HIM WHATEVER HE 92 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,807 WANTS. THEY ORDERED HIM PIZZA AND GAVE 93 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:44,610 HIM A MILLION DOLLARS AND A HELICOPTER RIDE TO THE 94 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:48,381 LOCATION OF HIS CHOICE. IS THAT REALLY HOW YOU TREAT 95 00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:52,652 AN ENEMY?" TUCKER ALSO TOOK ISSUE WITH THE 96 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:55,354 FOOTAGE FROM THE JANUARY 6TH COMMITTEE THAT SHOWED 97 00:05:55,354 --> 00:06:00,660 SENATOR JOSH HAWLEY HAWLEY-ING ASS. 98 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,329 ACCORDING TO TUCKER, THAT FOOTAGE IS DECEPTIVE. 99 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:06,099 THE ACTUAL VIDEOTAPE SHOWS THAT HAWLEY WAS ONE OF MANY 100 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,568 LAWMAKERS BEING USHERED OUT OF THE BUILDING BY CAPITOL HILL 101 00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:12,839 POLICE OFFICERS. AND IN FACT, HAWLEY WAS AT THE 102 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,074 BACK OF THE PACK. Stephen: I STAND CORRECTED. 103 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,844 JOSH HAWLEY IS NOT JUST SOME HYPOCRITICAL COWARD. 104 00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,246 HE'S A HYPOCRITICAL COWARD WHO RUNS SLOWER THAN 105 00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:27,386 70-YEAR-OLDS. AND MAY I REMIND YOU, 106 00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:31,157 JUST A COUPLE. JUST A COUPLE LITTLE THINGS. 107 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:33,226 AND MAY I REMIND YOU, THOSE PEOPLE WERE ALL RUNNING 108 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:39,098 FOR THEIR LIVES FROM WHAT TUCKER DESCRIBES AS MEEK SIGHTSEERS. 109 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,667 IT REMINDS ME OF THE SCENE FROM LORD OF THE RINGS. 110 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,437 AND WE'RE WALKING, AND WE'RE STOMPING, 111 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,039 AND WE'RE STOMPING AND WE'RE MARCHING. 112 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:51,677 WHERE'S THE GIFT SHOP! Stephen: TUCKER'S FASCIST 113 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:54,080 FAN-BOYING WAS SUCH TRANSPARENT PROPAGANDA THAT IT DIDN'T EVEN 114 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,048 PLAY WELL WITH MEMBERS OF THE G.O.P. 115 00:06:56,048 --> 00:07:01,721 NORTH CAROLINA SENATOR THOM TILLIS SAID OF THE REPORT. 116 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,089 I THINK IT'S BULL[BLEEP]. I WAS HERE. 117 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:08,594 Stephen: LANGUAGE, SENATOR. NANCY PELOSI, HOW WOULD 118 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:12,064 YOU DESCRIBE IT? THE POO POO. 119 00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:17,837 Stephen: YES. A KINDER, GENTLER. 120 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:18,738 TUCKER CAN TRY TO CHANGE THE NARRATIVE ALL 121 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,139 HE WANTS. BUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT WE SAW 122 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:22,108 THAT DAY. INCLUDING THE MAN WHO CYNICALLY 123 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,343 HANDED OVER THIS FOOTAGE, KEVIN McCARTHY. 124 00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:30,650 HERE'S McCARTHY CALLING INTO FOX NEWS ON JANUARY 6TH. 125 00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,952 FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS SO UN-AMERICAN. 126 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:37,490 I CONDEMN ANY OF THIS VIOLENCE THAT'S HAPPENING IN THE CAPITOL 127 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,892 RIGHT NOW. ANYONE INVOLVED IN THIS, 128 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:42,028 IF YOU'RE HEARING ME, HEAR ME VERY LOUD AND CLEAR, THIS IS NOT 129 00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:46,399 THE AMERICAN WAY. PEOPLE ARE BEING HURT. 130 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,434 PEOPLE-- PEOPLE ARE BEING-- 131 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,404 PEOPLE ARE BEING HURT, THERE'S BEEN SHOTS THAT HAVE 132 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,206 BEEN FIRED, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. 133 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:56,809 I WATCHED BARRIERS BEING BROKEN. I WATCHED PEOPLE BREAKING 134 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,578 WINDOWS. I WATCHED PEOPLE RUNNING 135 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,848 INTO A BUILDING. YOU DO NOT DO WHAT 136 00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:03,115 IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. Stephen: I'M SORRY, I'M BEING 137 00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,618 TOLD WE HAVE TUCKER'S EDIT OF MCCARTHY'S PHONE CALL. 138 00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,788 FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS SO AMERICAN. 139 00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:12,959 HEAR ME VERY LOUD AND CLEAR, PEOPLE ARE BEING ACCEPTABLE. 140 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:18,364 SHOTS. SHOTS. 141 00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:24,103 Stephen: BABY SHARK. FOR SOMETHING THAT 142 00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:26,038 TUCKER SAYS DIDN'T HAPPEN, THERE SURE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE 143 00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:29,609 PLEADING GUILTY TO DOING IT. YESTERDAY THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT 144 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:35,248 ARRESTS HIT 1,000 IN CONNECTION WITH JANUARY 6TH. 145 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,782 THAT'S RIGHT! 1,000 ARRESTS! 146 00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:41,654 JOHNNY, TELL THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WHAT THEY'VE WON! 147 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,956 STILL NO CONSEQUENCES FOR THE MAN WHO INCITED THE 148 00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:48,728 WHOLE COUP! WE DEMAND JUSTICE! 149 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:52,098 AND A NEW DINETTE SET FROM BROYHILL. 150 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:56,602 BROYHILL: "NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING"! 151 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,472 BACK TO YOU, STEVE. Stephen: AND NOW THE FEDS 152 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,909 HAVE ARRESTED THE JANUARY 6TH RIOTER DUBBED "SPIDER-NAZI." 153 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:07,179 ♪ SPIDER-NAZI ♪ SPIDER-NAZI 154 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:08,214 ♪ DID A COUP ♪ AND HE GOT CAUGHT-ZI 155 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,616 ♪ BROKE INSIDE ♪ THOUGHT HE'D GET OFF 156 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,885 ♪ HE'S THE BUG VERSION ♪ OF ADOLF! 157 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:25,498 ♪ LOOK OUT! HERE COMES THE SPIDER-NAZI! ♪ 158 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:29,335 THIS DUMMY'S NAME IS BRANDON KELLY DILLARD, SEEN HERE 159 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:33,139 WITH THE ONLY WOMEN WHO'LL EVER TALK TO HIM. 160 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:36,776 THE CHARGES ARE PRETTY BAD, INCLUDING ILLEGAL ENTRY, 161 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,045 DISORDERLY CONDUCT, AND UTTERING "LOUD, THREATENING, 162 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:42,548 OR ABUSIVE" LANGUAGE IN THE CAPITOL BUILDING. 163 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:43,849 SPIDER NAZI WILL BE TRIED ALONGSIDE HIS FELLOW 164 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:47,687 KNOCK-OFF SUPERHEROES "CAPTAIN UN-MERICA", 165 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:51,791 AND A GROUP OF MUTANTS CALLED THE "NEVER HAD SEX MEN." 166 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:55,628 OF COURSE, THE GUY WHO INSPIRED SPIDER NAZI IS RUNNING 167 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,164 FOR PRESIDENT AGAIN. HE'S REPORTEDLY ALREADY EYEING 168 00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:01,600 POTENTIAL RUNNING MATES, AND HE WANTS SOMEBODY WHO IS 169 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,503 UNFAILINGLY LOYAL AND BLAND ENOUGH THAT THEY DON'T 170 00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:07,640 STEAL ANY SPOTLIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. 171 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:12,478 BLANDER THAN MIKE PENCE. GET READY FOR HIS RUNNING MATE: 172 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:20,519 SLICE OF WET BREAD. 2024. 173 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:26,659 BUT... [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 174 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,294 BUT THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS TRYING TO WIN OVER SUBURBAN 175 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,930 WHITE WOMEN, SO HE MIGHT HAVE TO GO "LADY" BLAND. 176 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,765 ACCORDING TO PEOPLE CLOSE TO HIM, HE'S STRONGLY 177 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,401 CONSIDERING PICKING A FEMALE RUNNING MATE. 178 00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:38,437 AND REPORTEDLY, THE CURRENT FRONTRUNNER IS FAILED ARIZONA 179 00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:42,708 GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE KARI LAKE, SEEN HERE WEARING 180 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:53,019 A BLOUSE SHE SHED LAST WEEK. 181 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:56,989 QUALITY JOKE. THAT'S A STROKER. 182 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,125 LAKE LOST HER ELECTION AND REFUSES TO ADMIT IT. 183 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:00,326 BUT SHE HAS GOT ONE WIN UNDER HER BELT. 184 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:04,063 THIS WEEKEND, SHE WON A STRAW POLL FOR THE REPUBLICAN 185 00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:08,868 V.P. PICK DURING CPAC. SHE MUST HAVE BEEN SO HONORED TO 186 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,536 HAVE MAGA VOTERS CHOOSE HER AS THE NEXT VICE PRESIDENT THEY 187 00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:15,441 TRY TO HANG. BUT LAKE FOUND A WAY TO DENY 188 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:18,644 THIS ELECTION AS WELL, SAYING THROUGH A SPOKESPERSON, 189 00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:19,812 "WE'RE FLATTERED, BUT UNFORTUNATELY OUR LEGAL TEAM 190 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:23,582 SAYS THE CONSTITUTION WON'T ALLOW FOR HER TO SERVE AS 191 00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:26,152 GOVERNOR AND VP AT THE SAME TIME." 192 00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:28,754 THAT'S A GOOD POINT. KARI LAKE IS CURRENTLY 193 00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:33,426 THE SITTING GOVERNOR OF THE STATE OF DENIAL. 194 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:42,234 SPEAKING... [APPLAUSE] 195 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,736 SPEAKING OF DANGEROUS IDIOTS, ELON MUSK IS STILL 196 00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:49,375 RUNNING TWITTER. AND TECHNICALLY, RUNNING IT 197 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,976 INTO THE GROUND. BECAUSE YESTERDAY, TWITTER WAS 198 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:54,613 HIT WITH ONE OF THE BIGGEST OUTAGES SINCE MUSK TOOK OVER. 199 00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:58,517 DURING THE APP-WIDE OUTAGE, USERS COULD NOT ACCESS PHOTOS 200 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:00,619 OR LINKS. THAT'S ROUGH. 201 00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:03,122 EVERYONE KNOWS THE LINKS ARE THE BEST PART OF TWITTER 'CAUSE 202 00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:10,563 THEY TAKE YOU AWAY FROM TWITTER. BUT TWITTER, DON'T YOU WORRY. 203 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,466 BACK UP NOW, AND AFTER A QUICK INVESTIGATION, 204 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,034 IT WAS REVEALED THAT JUST ONE ENGINEER CAUSED ALL THOSE 205 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:18,771 PROBLEMS. AND THAT PERSON IS THE LAST 206 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:22,508 REMAINING SITE RELIABILITY ENGINEER. 207 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,810 IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT. THERE'S ONLY ONE GUY. 208 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,579 WE HAVE FOOTAGE FROM INSIDE TWITTER HEADQUARTERS OF THAT 209 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:34,553 ENGINEER TRYING TO KEEP UP. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 210 00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:37,089 TONIGHT. MY GUESTS ARE JAMES TAYLOR AND 211 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,125 EVA LONGORIA. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, 212 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,193 "MEANWHILE." 213 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:23,169 ♪ ♪ 214 00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:25,337 Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 215 00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:29,175 GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND RIGHT OVER 216 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:36,749 THERE. LOUIS. 217 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,984 OH, LOUIS. LOUIS, WE HAVE TWO DELIGHTFUL 218 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:41,387 PEOPLE COMING BACK ON THE SHOW TONIGHT. 219 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:45,024 ONE JUST IS A LOVELY PERSON TO BE WITH, LET ALONE A GREAT 220 00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:49,662 ARTIST. JAMES TAYLOR'S GOING TO BE HERE. 221 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:53,499 AND JUST AN INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND THOUGHTFUL, WELL-INFORMED 222 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,602 YOUNG LADY, EVA LONGORIA IS GOING TO BE OUT HERE JUST A 223 00:13:56,602 --> 00:14:03,075 LITTLE WHILE TOO. FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW YOU 224 00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,511 KNOW I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME IN THE NEWS KITCHEN 225 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,179 SIMMERING THE DAY'S FRESHEST STORY CHICKEN IN THE MOST 226 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:11,016 TOPICAL COCONUT MILK, THEN ADDING THE NEWSIEST 227 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:16,355 GALANGAL AND KAFFIR LIME LEAVES, AND A DASH OF TIPAROS NAM PLA 228 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:20,125 AND PALM SUGAR TO SERVE YOU THE PERFECTLY BALANCED TOM KHA KAI 229 00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:23,495 THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. BUT SOMETIMES I WAKE UP IN THE 230 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:25,998 SCOOP OF A BACKHOE ON A DESERTED CONSTRUCTION SITE, TOSS IN HALF 231 00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:28,667 A DISCARDED BALONEY SANDWICH AND THE SWILL FROM A CRUMPLED 232 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:31,904 CAN OF MR. PIBB INTO A CRACKED PAINT BUCKET, ADD SOME GRASS 233 00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:35,207 CLIPPINGS AND LEAVE IT IN THE SUN TO OFFER YOU THE BOOTLEG 234 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:43,983 TRASH GUMBO OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT, "MEANWHILE." 235 00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:47,419 A MESS. MEANWHILE, THE FILTER THROUGH 236 00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:51,323 WHICH I SEE THE WORLD. MEANWHILE, THE NATIONAL 237 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:55,227 PARKS SERVICE IS WARNING THAT, DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY HAVE HEARD 238 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,630 IN SOME OLD JOKES, YOU SHOULD "NEVER PUSH A SLOWER FRIEND DOWN 239 00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,100 IN A BEAR ENCOUNTER." THAT NOTICE FROM RENOWNED 240 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:05,904 WILDLIFE EXPERT, YOUR SLOWEST FRIEND. 241 00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:10,109 MEANWHILE, OVER HALF A DOZEN SHEEP RECENTLY ESCAPED 242 00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:13,379 A SLAUGHTERHOUSE IN NEW JERSEY. THE ESCAPE HAPPENED BECAUSE THE 243 00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,047 OFFICIAL RESPONSIBLE FOR COUNTING THE SHEEP AT THE 244 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:23,989 SLAUGHTERHOUSE KEPT FALLING ASLEEP. 245 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:31,397 [APPLAUSE] MEANWHILE, WE ALL KNOW THAT THE 246 00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:34,266 FAVORITE SENIOR PAST TIME, PICKLEBALL, IS TAKING OVER THE 247 00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,502 COUNTRY, WHICH HAS LED TO COUNTLESS TURF BATTLES OVER 248 00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:39,171 TENNIS COURT SPACE. AND NOW "THE GREAT PICKLEBALL 249 00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:42,041 WAR HAS REACHED THE D.C. AREA." VIRGINIA'S ARLINGTON COUNTY 250 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,843 WANTS TO BUILD NINE NEW PICKLEBALL COURTS, 251 00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:48,113 BUT HOMEOWNERS IN THE AREA HATE THE IDEA SO MUCH THEY'VE 252 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,349 STARTED DISTRIBUTING FLYERS THAT ACCUSE PICKLEBALL PLAYERS 253 00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,117 OF "HIJACKING" TENNIS AND BASKETBALL COURTS, 254 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,888 "BULLYING" CHILDREN, AND URINATING IN PUBLIC. 255 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,657 COME ON, SENIORS! PICKLEBALL IS NOT AN EXCUSE 256 00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:06,265 TO URINATE IN PUBLIC! THAT'S AQUA-ROBICS. 257 00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:12,271 MEANWHILE. AFTER LEGAL CHALLENGES 258 00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:14,707 BROUGHT BY SWISS CHEESEMAKERS, A U.S. COURT HAS 259 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,509 RULED THAT AMERICAN-MADE CHEESE CAN 260 00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:20,512 BE CALLED GRUYERE. WHILE KRAFT SINGLES MUST NOW BE 261 00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:22,247 CORRECTLY LABELED AS "PLASTIC BATH MAT SOAKED IN 262 00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:29,154 YELLOW." MEANWHILE, WE HAVE SOME BREAKING 263 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,923 NEWS ABOUT THE BREAKING OF A ROYAL TRADITION. 264 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,292 IT'S BEEN ANNOUNCED THAT "THE HOLY ANOINTING OIL 265 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:38,597 FOR KING CHARLES III'S CORONATION WILL NOT CONTAIN THE 266 00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:41,767 INTESTINAL WAX OF SPERM WHALES OR CIVET SECRETIONS." 267 00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:45,404 WHAT? THAT MAKES NO SENSE! 268 00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:48,240 IF A KING'S HEAD ISN'T GREASED WITH WHALE INTESTINE WAX 269 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:52,611 AND SECRETIONS FROM A NOCTURNAL TROPICAL RODENT, THEN, 270 00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:58,050 I'M SORRY, BUT HEREDITARY RULERS STARTS TO SOUND KIND OF STUPID. 271 00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:02,321 THE SACRED HEAD GOO TRADITIONALLY CONTAINS OIL 272 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:07,493 FROM THE GLANDS OF SMALL MAMMALS SUCH AS CIVETS, 273 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:10,929 AND AMBERGRIS, A WAXY SUBSTANCE FROM THE INTESTINES OF SPERM 274 00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:13,365 WHALES THAT IS CALLED CHRISM OIL. 275 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,367 BUT IN THIS CASE, BUCKINGHAM PALACE IS USING A CIVET 276 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:19,438 AND WHALE-FREE ALTERNATIVE CALLED "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT 277 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:22,608 CHRISM!" WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 278 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,676 WITH JAMES TAYLOR. 279 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:47,499 ♪ ♪ 280 00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,802 Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WELCOME BACK. 281 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:55,274 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT A PLEASURE. 282 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:59,945 WHAT A PLEASURE FOR ME TO TELL YOU THAT MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT 283 00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,147 IS A SIX TIME GRAMMY AWARD-WINNING ROCK 'N' ROLL 284 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,282 HALL OF FAMER. PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO 285 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:07,252 "THE LATE SHOW," OUR FRIEND AND YOURS, MR. JAMES TAYLOR. 286 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:33,345 ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 287 00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:36,081 James: THAT'S ENCOURAGING. Stephen: VERY NICE. 288 00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:39,251 NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. James: YOU'RE THE MAN. 289 00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:42,855 Stephen: LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU ARE DOING A WEEKLONG 290 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:46,492 RESIDENCY AT THE SHOW, HAD A WONDERFUL TIME. 291 00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:49,761 WONDERFUL TIME WITH THE BAND. James: GREAT WORKING WITH 292 00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:51,964 LOUIS. IT WASN'T LOST ON ME THAT YOU 293 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:57,469 PLAYED "JAMES." Stephen: YOU CAN PUT 294 00:18:57,469 --> 00:19:03,575 ANYTHING PAST JAMES TAYLOR. I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE GOING TO DO 295 00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:08,413 A WEEK RESIDENCY IN LAS VEGAS. NOW, I DON'T NECESSARILY 296 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:14,920 ASSOCIATE "SWEET BABY JAMES" WITH THE STRIP, DADDY-IO. 297 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,090 DO YOU ENJOY THE ROLL OF THE DICE, THE SHOWGIRLS, THAT KIND 298 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,392 OF STUFF? James: IT'S TRUE, 299 00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:24,796 PARTICULARLY THE BEGINNING THERE WAS A LINE OF DEMARCATION 300 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:32,604 BETWEEN WHAT WE CONSIDERED OUR MUSIC, THE MUSIC POST BEETLES, 301 00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:36,808 POST-DYLAN. SORT OF WHAT HAD GONE BEFORE, 302 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:43,982 AND THAT LINE, VEGAS WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT. 303 00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:48,053 Stephen: YOU DIDN'T SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN VEGAS WHEN YOU'RE 304 00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:50,155 YOUNG ARTIST? James: I DIDN'T. 305 00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:55,193 I PRETTY MUCH AVOIDED THE PLACE FOR QUITE A FEW YEARS. 306 00:19:55,193 --> 00:20:02,334 IT'S SORT OF LIKE THE CHARACTER THAT BILL MURRAY USED TO HAVE. 307 00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:07,039 Stephen: STARWARS ♪ ♪ TALKING ABOUT "STAR WARS" ♪ 308 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:13,712 James: YEAH, SO TO BEGIN WITH THERE WAS SORT OF A VEGAS 309 00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:16,848 PHOBIA. BUT AS TIME PASSES, THINGS 310 00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:22,788 CHANGE. I THINK-- 311 00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:24,256 Stephen: LET ME WRITE THAT DOWN. 312 00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:28,627 LET ME WRITE THAT DOWN. TIME PASSES. 313 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:29,828 PASSES. THINGS-- 314 00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:32,331 WHAT DID YOU SAY THINGS DO? 315 00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:36,001 CHANGE. JAMES TAYLOR. 316 00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,903 GOT IT. James: YOU SORT OF GET 317 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,838 DRAGGED TO THE MIDDLE POLITICALLY AND CULTURALLY. 318 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:45,644 AS TIME PASSES. YOU KNOW, I DID RESIDENCY A 319 00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:49,314 COUPLE YEARS AGO IN LAS VEGAS AND IT WAS GREAT. 320 00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:52,117 Stephen: WHAT KIND OF SHOW DO YOU DO? 321 00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:55,287 IS IT A LOT OF GLITZ? ARE THERE WHITE TIGERS OR 322 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:57,356 ANYTHING LIKE THAT? James: WHATEVER WE CAN 323 00:20:57,356 --> 00:21:02,461 SCARE UP WE WILL DEFINITELY USE. IT'S PRETTY MUCH, WE JUST TAKE 324 00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:07,866 THEM TO THAT WE ARE TOURING THAT YEAR, THE SET THAT WE ARE 325 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:12,137 PLAYING, JUST PARK IT IN VEGAS FOR ABOUT TEN DAYS, WHICH IS A 326 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:16,308 GREAT RELIEF FOR THE BAND AND CREW NOT TO HAVE TO BREAK IT 327 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:19,011 DOWN AND THEN SET IT UP ONCE A DAY AND TO BE ABLE TO STAY IN 328 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,912 ONE PLACE. Stephen: WHAT ABOUT YOU? 329 00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:24,950 DO YOU LIKE BEING IN ONE PLACE WOULD YOU LIKE THE CIRCUS LIFE? 330 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:31,390 James: NO, I LIKE THE ONE-OFFS, I LIKE HAVING A FEEL 331 00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:35,560 OF A DIFFERENT REGION OR DIFFERENT POPULATION EACH DAY. 332 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,363 Stephen: BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THE ONE BREAKING DOWN THE 333 00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:40,666 SPEAKERS. James: THAT'S RIGHT. 334 00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:45,070 THAT'S RIGHT. I GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND I FELL 335 00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:46,505 ASLEEP. Stephen: THIS SUMMER YOU 336 00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:49,908 GOT A TOUR. 16 SHOWS AROUND THE U.S. 337 00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:52,944 DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE CITY TO PLAY IN THE STATES? 338 00:21:52,944 --> 00:21:57,082 NO ONE WILL BE OFFENDED IF YOU DON'T NAME THEIR CITY. 339 00:21:57,082 --> 00:22:01,420 James: YOU KNOW, I DO TEND-- 340 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:06,224 EVERY YEAR I PLAY IN MY OWN HOMETOWN IN WESTERN 341 00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:08,927 MASSACHUSETTS. I PLAY THE TANGLEWOOD MUSICAL 342 00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:11,530 FESTIVAL. Stephen: SURE. 343 00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:15,267 TANGLEWOOD HAS BEEN CALLED THE VEGAS OF THE BERKSHIRES. 344 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:18,870 James: THAT'S RIGHT. Stephen: YOU ARE HEADLINING 345 00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:20,872 THE LOVE ROCKS NYC CONCERT AT THE BEACON THEATER. 346 00:22:20,872 --> 00:22:27,179 THIS IS A FITTING... BE TO LOVE ROCKS THE 347 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:32,751 ORGANIZATION AND ITS ITS YEARLY BENEFIT THAT'S MOSTLY FOR 348 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:40,692 HOMELESS RELIEF IN NEW YORK CIT. Stephen: ALSO PERFORMING, 349 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:44,129 JOHN MAYER, MAVIS STAPLES, SHERYL CROW, ST. VINCENT AND 350 00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:45,731 OTHERS. ARE THESE ALL FRIENDS OF YOURS? 351 00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:49,668 ARE YOU EXCITED TO MEET SOME OF THESE FOR THE FIRST TIME, SOME 352 00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:53,472 EVEN EVER PERFORMED WITH BEFORE? James: I'M EXCITED TO MEET 353 00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:59,277 AND PERFORM WITH ST. VINCENT. BUT I KNOW MAVIS AND I KNOW JOHN 354 00:22:59,277 --> 00:23:02,247 MAYER. IT'LL BE GOOD TO SEE OLD 355 00:23:02,247 --> 00:23:07,519 FRIENDS. THE BAND, IT'S A GREAT BAND. 356 00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:11,022 MY DRUMMER, STEVE. I AM HIS SINGER. 357 00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:16,027 Stephen: OH, MY GOD, THE DRUM SOLO ON "ASIA" ALONE. 358 00:23:16,027 --> 00:23:20,298 James: 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER. 359 00:23:20,298 --> 00:23:23,902 STEVE WILL BE PLAYING DRUMS. IT'S STEVE WHO BROUGHT ME INTO 360 00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:35,247 THE GIG AND WILL LEE IS GOING TO PLAY BASS. 361 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:39,151 IT'LL BE SORT OF OUR REUNION OF SORTS. 362 00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:40,852 Stephen: I WILL SEE YOU THERE. 363 00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:42,921 James: WILL YOU BE THERE? Stephen: YEAH. 364 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,523 WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 365 00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:46,591 MORE JAMES TAYLOR. STICK AROUND 366 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:56,301 Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 367 00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:59,604 LOOK AT THAT RIGHT THERE. THAT IS MR. JAMES TAYLOR. 368 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:06,244 RIGHT THERE. THIS WEEKEND, YOU ARE TURNING 369 00:24:06,244 --> 00:24:06,945 75. YOUR 75TH BIRTHDAY IS THIS 370 00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:11,316 WEEKEND. CONGRATULATIONS. 371 00:24:11,316 --> 00:24:13,952 YOU MADE IT. YOU MADE IT. 372 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:16,988 75. HOW ARE YOU PLANNING TO 373 00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:18,423 CELEBRATE? James: I'M ASTONISHED. 374 00:24:18,423 --> 00:24:21,359 I AM JUST AMAZED. Stephen: DO CELEBRATE 375 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:22,627 BIRTHDAYS? James: NO, NOT REALLY. 376 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:28,633 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE REMIND ME THAT ANOTHER YEAR HAS PASSED. 377 00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:32,971 AND THEY BRING IT UP AND I SAY, WHY BRING IT UP? 378 00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:35,173 Stephen: YES. MY UNDERSTANDING IS TIME PASSES. 379 00:24:35,173 --> 00:24:41,913 THINGS CHANGE. DO YOU WANT TO WRITE THAT DOWN? 380 00:24:41,913 --> 00:24:52,457 TIME PASSES. THINGS CHANGE. 381 00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:54,726 THERE WE GO PRAY THAT'S REALLY SMART 382 00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:58,396 THIS YEAR MARKS ANOTHER 383 00:24:58,396 --> 00:25:02,567 MILESTONE FOR YOU AND THAT'S 40 YEARS OF SOBRIETY. 384 00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:08,139 WHAT DOES THAT ANNIVERSARY MEAN TO YOU? 385 00:25:08,139 --> 00:25:10,008 35 TO 75. James: THAT'S TRUE. 386 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:14,412 THAT MEANS I CAN PUT A MUCH REMEMBER THE LAST THREE YEARS. 387 00:25:14,412 --> 00:25:19,384 AND IT'S BEEN GOOD. Stephen: GOOD. 388 00:25:19,384 --> 00:25:23,521 James: YOU KNOW, FUNNY THING ABOUT THIS LIFE IS THAT IF 389 00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:27,292 YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL AT SOMETHING, THERE'S THE BIG TENDENCY TO KEEP 390 00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:31,396 DOING IT, YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW. 391 00:25:31,396 --> 00:25:36,801 THE BIG WHEEL ROLES AND IT WANTS TO KEEP ROLLING. 392 00:25:36,801 --> 00:25:42,040 REALLY WHAT IS SURPRISING IS HOW LITTLE HAS CHANGED IN MY LIFE 393 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,911 AND HOW FAMILIAR AND HOW SIMILAR WHAT I DO TODAY IS WHAT I WAS 394 00:25:45,911 --> 00:25:52,918 DOING WHEN I WAS 17. RECOVERY, GETTING TO RECOVERY 395 00:25:52,918 --> 00:25:56,721 FROM ADDICTION WAS THE MEAN, ASIDE FROM MY MARRIAGE TO MY 396 00:25:56,721 --> 00:26:03,528 WIFE, THAT WAS MY MAIN EVENT REALLY IN MY ADULT LIFE. 397 00:26:03,528 --> 00:26:08,767 THAT AND MY KIDS. Stephen: THE SONG THAT 398 00:26:08,767 --> 00:26:10,402 YOU'RE DOING TONIGHT'S ASSIGNMENT NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE 399 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:14,172 TALK ABOUT BUT IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS OF YOURS. 400 00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:18,176 IT'S CALLED "MONA." FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW, 401 00:26:18,176 --> 00:26:23,615 QUITE A FEW "MONA" FANS. CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHO MONA IS AND 402 00:26:23,615 --> 00:26:27,852 WHAT THE SONG IS ABOUT. James: MONA WAS A PET PIG. 403 00:26:27,852 --> 00:26:31,990 Stephen: HERE'S A PHOTO. THIS ISN'T HER FULLY GROWN, 404 00:26:31,990 --> 00:26:34,059 RIGHT? James: BOTH OF US ARE QUITE 405 00:26:34,059 --> 00:26:38,964 YOUNG IN THAT PICTURE. Stephen: HOW DID YOU GET A 406 00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:40,632 PET PIG? James: MY BROTHER AND I 407 00:26:40,632 --> 00:26:44,002 WERE HAVING COCKTAILS ONE AFTERNOON. 408 00:26:44,002 --> 00:26:45,737 Stephen: ENJOYING A REFRESHING BEVERAGE? 409 00:26:45,737 --> 00:26:49,474 James: THAT'S CORRECT. HE AND I WERE HAVING THE CLASSIC 410 00:26:49,474 --> 00:26:52,410 ARGUMENT ABOUT WHICH WAS MORE INTELLIGENT, THE DOG WITH A PIG? 411 00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:55,580 HE TOOK THE DOG AND I TOOK THE PIG. 412 00:26:55,580 --> 00:27:01,152 AND A FRIEND OF MINE OVERHEARD MY SORT OF-- 413 00:27:01,152 --> 00:27:03,722 Stephen: DEFENSE. James: ENTHUSIASTIC DEFENSE 414 00:27:03,722 --> 00:27:07,292 OF PIGS AND HOW INTELLIGENT THEY WERE. 415 00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:11,429 AND SAID HIS BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP. 416 00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:14,199 21ST BIRTHDAY. I'M GOING TO BUY HIM A PIG. 417 00:27:14,199 --> 00:27:19,671 A PIG IS THE TRADITON. Stephen: YOU RECOMMEND THAT 418 00:27:19,671 --> 00:27:26,678 TWO YOUNG MEN EVERYWHERE? James: IT IS TIME TESTED. 419 00:27:26,678 --> 00:27:31,583 SHE GAVE ME THIS LITTLE FOOTBALL, SO CUTE. 420 00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:35,954 LITTLE BLACK STRIPE ACROSS ITS SHOULDERS, HIGH-HEELED SHOES ON 421 00:27:35,954 --> 00:27:37,989 ALL FOUR FEED. THE CUTEST LITTLE THING. 422 00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:40,492 IT LIVED IN A CARDBOARD BOX IN THE FOOT OF MY BED FOR THE 423 00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:47,766 WINTER AND THEN WHEN THE SPRING CAME, I MOVED HER OUT INTO SORTG 424 00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:53,605 MYSELF A HOUSE IN THE WOODS. IN A MANNER OF PEN AND MOVED HER 425 00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:56,708 IN THERE AND SHE STARTED TO PUT ON WEIGHT. 426 00:27:56,708 --> 00:28:05,250 SHE PUT ON ABOUT 500 POUNDS. IN A LITTLE OVER A YEAR. 427 00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:08,887 Stephen: WOW, IN A YEAR? James: WE MIGHT HAVE OVER 428 00:28:08,887 --> 00:28:13,892 FED HER BUT SHE WAS APPRISED PIG. 429 00:28:13,892 --> 00:28:17,762 SHE WON A BLUE RIBBON AT THE AGRICULTURAL FAIR. 430 00:28:17,762 --> 00:28:21,933 Stephen: OH, WOW. LET ME ASK YOU THE CRITICAL 431 00:28:21,933 --> 00:28:26,204 QUESTION HERE, WHICH IS, WAS SHE SMART? 432 00:28:26,204 --> 00:28:30,241 James: YES, SHE WAS SMART BUT SHE WAS VERY SINGLE-MINDED. 433 00:28:30,241 --> 00:28:32,844 Stephen: OH. STRONG HEADED PIG. 434 00:28:32,844 --> 00:28:36,147 James: STRONG HEADED. FOCUSED ON FOOD. 435 00:28:36,147 --> 00:28:39,150 IN A COUPLE OF TIMES A YEAR, SEX. 436 00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:41,586 Stephen: I'M GOING TO MOVE ON. 437 00:28:41,586 --> 00:28:45,190 I WILL MOVE ON FROM THAT SUBJ SUBJECT. 438 00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:47,325 JAMES, LOVELY TO SEE YOU. SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO 439 00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:51,329 A SONG FOR US. STICK AROUND FOR A PERFORMANCE 440 00:28:51,329 --> 00:28:54,566 BY A JAMES TAYLOR. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH EVA 441 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,968 LONGORIA. 442 00:29:04,609 --> 00:29:11,816 ♪ ♪ 443 00:29:11,816 --> 00:29:18,690 Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK. 444 00:29:18,690 --> 00:29:21,659 WELCOME BACK, MY FRIENDS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 445 00:29:21,659 --> 00:29:24,896 MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTOR, PRODUCER, AND DIRECTOR YOU KNOW 446 00:29:24,896 --> 00:29:27,732 FROM "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES," "TELENOVELA," AND NOW 447 00:29:27,732 --> 00:29:32,804 "SEARCHING FOR MEXICO." ROBERTO IS MAKING HIS FROM 448 00:29:32,804 --> 00:29:35,440 SCRATCH. DO YOU WANT TO START? 449 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:42,380 WITH ME AS HIS WING MAN. I ALREADY MESSED UP. 450 00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:48,553 YOU PUT SOME CUMIN. WHAT IS THIS CALLED? 451 00:29:48,553 --> 00:29:52,590 THE SPACES ARE LIGHTLY TOASTED BUT NOT WHEN IT COMES TO 452 00:29:52,590 --> 00:30:08,473 THE CHILI, WE TURN UP THE HEAT. IT'S SMOKING. 453 00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:13,912 Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME EVA LONGORIA. 454 00:30:13,912 --> 00:30:32,564 ♪ ♪ 455 00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,200 HI. Stephen: THANK YOU. 456 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,468 HOW ARE YOU? Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU 457 00:30:37,468 --> 00:30:40,038 AGAIN. I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IN PERSON 458 00:30:40,038 --> 00:30:42,340 SINCE BEFORE COVID. WE DID ONE ZOOM INTERVIEW OVER 459 00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:46,044 COVID. FOR SOMEONE WHO DOES SO MUCH, 460 00:30:46,044 --> 00:30:49,314 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE AN ACTRESS, PRODUCER, DIRECTOR. 461 00:30:49,314 --> 00:30:53,384 YOU HAVE A GRADUATE DEGREE IN PUBLIC POLICY, I BELIEVE. 462 00:30:53,384 --> 00:30:56,120 Eva: CHICANO STUDIES. Stephen: OKAY. 463 00:30:56,120 --> 00:31:03,161 WHAT WAS IT LIKE FOR YOU TO BE TRAPPED INSIDE FOR ALL THAT TIME 464 00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:04,596 CUSTOMER AND YOU SEEM LIKE SOMEONE WHO MIGHT GO A LITTLE 465 00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:07,232 HAMSTER WHEEL CRAZY. Eva: YEAH, YEAH. 466 00:31:07,232 --> 00:31:11,369 WELL, AT THAT MOMENT I HAD A 2-YEAR-OLD SON SO IT WAS GREAT 467 00:31:11,369 --> 00:31:14,439 BECAUSE I WAS LIKE OH, I GET TO BE WITH MY SON. 468 00:31:14,439 --> 00:31:16,641 THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I NEVER WORKED IN MY LIFE. 469 00:31:16,641 --> 00:31:19,077 I'VE BEEN WORKING SINCE I WAS EIGHT. 470 00:31:19,077 --> 00:31:22,213 MOWING LAWNS, WORKING AT WENDY'S, WHATEVER IT WAS. 471 00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:26,251 I WORKED AT WENDY'S. Stephen: DID YOU WORK THE 472 00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:28,386 WINDOW? Eva: OF COURSE I WORKED THE 473 00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:29,654 WINDOW. WELCOME TO WENDY'S. 474 00:31:29,654 --> 00:31:33,591 HOW CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER? BUT I ENJOYED IT BECAUSE MY SON 475 00:31:33,591 --> 00:31:37,028 WAS TWO. IT'S A GOOD AGE FOR HIM TO HAVE 476 00:31:37,028 --> 00:31:39,964 MOM AROUND AND THEN ONCE COVID ENDED AND I WENT BACK TO WORK, 477 00:31:39,964 --> 00:31:43,635 HE WAS LIKE WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. 478 00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:47,138 MOM WORKS. HE WAS LIKE, NO. 479 00:31:47,138 --> 00:31:51,676 Stephen: MANY PEOPLE GOT VERY GOOD AT DRINKING DURING 480 00:31:51,676 --> 00:31:54,412 COVID. I DON'T NECESSARILY RECOMMEND 481 00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:56,614 IT. BUT I CERTAINLY DID MY PART. 482 00:31:56,614 --> 00:31:59,450 Eva: THAT WAS ME. COVID TURNED ME TO COCKTAILS 483 00:31:59,450 --> 00:32:04,255 BECAUSE I WAS A WINE GIRL AND THEN COVID MADE ME A COCKTAIL 484 00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:05,523 GIRL. Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU 485 00:32:05,523 --> 00:32:08,993 HAVE A PARTICULAR COCKTAIL THAT YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT MAKING. 486 00:32:08,993 --> 00:32:14,666 WHAT ARE YOU MAKING? YOU WERE VERY PRODUCTIVE. 487 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:17,635 Eva: I WAS PRODUCTIVE. LET ME TELL YOU. 488 00:32:17,635 --> 00:32:20,605 I AM AN OVER ACHIEVER. I STARTED DRINKING TEQUILA AND I 489 00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:25,410 WAS LIKE, I'M GOING TO MAKE ONE. Stephen: THIS IS YOUR 490 00:32:25,410 --> 00:32:27,312 TEQUILA. ARE WE DOING SHOTS? 491 00:32:27,312 --> 00:32:33,985 Eva: NO. I BECAME A MIXOLOGIST. 492 00:32:33,985 --> 00:32:35,820 THIS HAS ICE ALREADY. I'M GOING TO MAKE IT SO IT 493 00:32:35,820 --> 00:32:39,791 DOESN'T TAKE UP SO MUCH TIME. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS. 494 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,160 YOU LIKE TEQUILA? Stephen: I LIKE TEQUILA 495 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,561 FINE. I'VE GOTTEN INTO A LOT OF 496 00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:51,569 FIGHTS. Eva: LIME, AGAVE, REPOSADO. 497 00:32:51,569 --> 00:32:56,374 THERE'S TWO OF US. WE GIVE IT A GOOD SHAKE. 498 00:32:56,374 --> 00:33:00,945 DO YOU HAVE A TOPA CHICO? Stephen: IS THAT WHAT THIS 499 00:33:00,945 --> 00:33:03,648 IS? Eva: YES. 500 00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:10,321 JUST A SPLASH. THAT'S TOO MUCH. 501 00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:13,858 Stephen: HOW DOES ONE DESIGN THEIR OWN TEQUILA? 502 00:33:13,858 --> 00:33:16,227 Eva: IT'S AN AMAZING TEQUILA BECAUSE WE AIDED IN 503 00:33:16,227 --> 00:33:17,862 COGNAC BARRELS. IT'S A LOT SMOOTHER. 504 00:33:17,862 --> 00:33:21,199 AS A LOT OF A LOT OF AMUSING WOMEN BEHIND THIS TEQUILA. 505 00:33:21,199 --> 00:33:24,369 IT'S NOT A TEQUILA FOR WOMEN BUT WOMEN TAKE A LOT OF TEQUILA. 506 00:33:24,369 --> 00:33:26,371 Stephen: IT'S VERY SLENDER RISING IS MY UNDERSTANDING. 507 00:33:26,371 --> 00:33:33,578 THERE YOU GO. Eva: CHEERS. 508 00:33:33,578 --> 00:33:36,414 Stephen: OH, THIS INTERVIEW IS GOING REALLY WELL. 509 00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:37,949 Eva: ISN'T A GREAT? QUESTION 510 00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:41,252 MIKE ISN'T THAT AMAZING? Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH. 511 00:33:41,252 --> 00:33:45,323 Eva: YOU'RE WELCOME. YOU HAVE THE NEW SHOW ON CNN 512 00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:52,196 CALLED "SEARCHING FOR MEXICO." FIRST OF ALL, DID YOU FIND IT? 513 00:33:52,196 --> 00:34:00,004 DID STANLEY TUCCI HELP. Eva: HE FINALLY FOUND IT. 514 00:34:00,004 --> 00:34:04,542 LIKE STANLEY, HE KIND OF WENT BACK TO EXPLORE HIS ROOTS. 515 00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:08,479 THEY CALLED ME AND THEY WERE GOING TO DO A SPIN-OFF OF THIS 516 00:34:08,479 --> 00:34:15,119 SERIES AND I PITCHED MEXICO. MEXICO IS A JEWEL OF THE COUNTRY 517 00:34:15,119 --> 00:34:19,791 GASTRONOMIC LANE. Stephen: WHAT HAVE YOU 518 00:34:19,791 --> 00:34:22,527 LEARNED FROM MEXICO'S FOOD? Eva: IT IS MORE THAN TACOS 519 00:34:22,527 --> 00:34:26,898 AND TEQUILA. I KNOW WE ARE DRINKING TEQUILA 520 00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:30,334 AND IT IS VERY STEREOTYPICAL. Stephen: ON, I AM AFRAID TO 521 00:34:30,334 --> 00:34:32,403 SAY, TACO TUESDAY. Eva: IT IS THE NUMBER ONE 522 00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:35,940 CUISINE NEATLY IN THE UNITED STATES AND ITS THE 523 00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:38,443 COUNTRY THIS WAS UNDERSTOOD AND GETS A BAD RAP AND I THINK THIS 524 00:34:38,443 --> 00:34:45,550 SHOW IS GOING TO FOR THE RELATIONS OF OUR COUNTRY WITH 525 00:34:45,550 --> 00:34:47,819 OUR CLOSEST NEIGHBOR, OUR BIGGEST TRADING PARTNER. 526 00:34:47,819 --> 00:34:50,087 IT'S BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THE FOOD OF THE 527 00:34:50,087 --> 00:34:53,157 COUNTRY, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE OF THE COUNTRY AND 528 00:34:53,157 --> 00:34:55,526 MEXICO IS FULL OF BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. 529 00:34:55,526 --> 00:34:59,163 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: YOU HAVE DESCRIBED 530 00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:06,337 YOURSELF AS 100% AMERICAN AND 100% MEXICAN. 531 00:35:06,337 --> 00:35:10,141 AT THE SAME TIME. THAT'S TWO PEOPLE. 532 00:35:10,141 --> 00:35:13,077 I KNOW YOUR FAMILY HAS LIVED IN TEXAS BEFORE THERE WAS A 533 00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:17,448 UNITED STATES. SO YOU ARE BOTH, ALL AMERICAN AT 534 00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:19,317 ALL MEXICAN AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU? 535 00:35:19,317 --> 00:35:23,454 Eva: WELL, IT MEANS THAT I REALLY STRADDLED THE. 536 00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:27,625 WHEN I AM IN AMERICA, PEOPLE GO "OH, YOU'RE MEXICAN." 537 00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:31,262 I AM IN MEXICO AND THEY GO "OH, YOU'RE THE AMERICAN." 538 00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:34,632 I AM NEITHER HERE NOR THERE EVER AND I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE 539 00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:38,102 NAVIGATE THAT IDENTITY SPECIFICALLY IN TEXAS. 540 00:35:38,102 --> 00:35:43,107 I AM A TEXICAN REALLY. IT WAS FUN TO DO THE SHOW TO 541 00:35:43,107 --> 00:35:45,943 EXPLORE MEXICO. MY HUSBAND IS MEXICAN FROM 542 00:35:45,943 --> 00:35:48,212 MEXICO CITY AND SO HE WENT WITH ME AND MY SON WENT WITH ME ON 543 00:35:48,212 --> 00:35:50,982 THIS WHOLE JOURNEY THE FOUR MONTHS. 544 00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:52,817 HE WAS LIKE, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO THIS DATE. 545 00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:56,554 I'VE NEVER EATEN THIS. IT WAS REALLY EYE-OPENING FOR 546 00:35:56,554 --> 00:35:58,222 HIM. HE IS MEXICAN. 547 00:35:58,222 --> 00:36:02,360 Stephen: AS YOU SAID, YOUR SON TRAVELED WITH YOU. 548 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,895 HOW OLD? Eva: FOUR AND A HALF. 549 00:36:03,895 --> 00:36:08,132 Stephen: THERE IS A CLICK. WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS CLIP? 550 00:36:08,132 --> 00:36:10,501 Eva: MY SON'S FIRST THING WHICH IS SPANISH BECAUSE WE LIVE 551 00:36:10,501 --> 00:36:17,174 MOST OF THE TIME IN MEXICO CITY. I DIDN'T GROW UP SPEAKING 552 00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:19,510 SPANISH. HE IS FOUR AND HE HAS SURPASSED 553 00:36:19,510 --> 00:36:24,348 MY SPANISH SO HE WAS KIND OF LIKE OUR TRANSLATOR. 554 00:36:24,348 --> 00:36:28,486 HONEY, CAN YOU TELL THEM HIM, I CAN'T SAY BIG NUMBERS IN 555 00:36:28,486 --> 00:36:31,589 SPANISH. LIKE 1,912. 556 00:36:31,589 --> 00:36:33,958 BUT HE KNOWS HOW. SO I WILL TELL HIM. 557 00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:37,295 HOW MUCH IS THAT? WE TELL HIM? 558 00:36:37,295 --> 00:36:39,964 IT IS 1900. Eva: YOU'RE HAVING YOUR SON 559 00:36:39,964 --> 00:36:41,265 BURGER FOR YOU? Eva: YES. 560 00:36:41,265 --> 00:36:48,339 HE WATCHED DORA THE EXPLORER AND HE IS MIMICKING DORA. 561 00:36:48,339 --> 00:37:05,990 CAN YOU SAY DELICIOSO? Stephen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU. 562 00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:08,893 "SEARCHING FOR MEXICO" PREMIERES MARCH 26 ON CNN. 563 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:12,229 EVA LONGORIA, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE BACK WITH THE 564 00:37:12,229 --> 00:37:14,332 PERFORMANCE BY JAMES TAYLOR. 565 00:37:20,171 --> 00:37:32,883 Stephen: I'M NOW PERFORMING "MONA," JAMES TAYLOR. 566 00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:37,388 ♪ LIFE'S GOOD ♪ ♪ FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND ♪ 567 00:37:37,388 --> 00:37:42,627 ♪ AND NOW ONE OF MINE IS DEAD ♪ ♪ AND THINGS ♪ 568 00:37:42,627 --> 00:37:47,832 ♪ I SHOULD HAVE SAID ♪ TO HER, I SHALL SAY TO YOU ♪ 569 00:37:47,832 --> 00:37:58,676 ♪ INSTEAD ♪ ♪ OH, MONA, MONA, 570 00:37:58,676 --> 00:38:02,513 ♪ SO MUCH OF YOU ♪ ♪ TO LOVE 571 00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:08,185 ♪ TOO MUCH OF YOU ♪ ♪ TO TAKE CARE OF 572 00:38:08,185 --> 00:38:14,825 ♪ MONA, MONA ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TOO BIG TO KEEP ♪ 573 00:38:14,825 --> 00:38:18,763 ♪ AND TOO DAMN OLD TO EAT ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU WHERE JUST ♪ 574 00:38:18,763 --> 00:38:23,367 ♪ A FOOTBALL ♪ ♪ AT YOUR MAMA'S SIDE ♪ 575 00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:27,204 ♪ I RECKON EVERYONE ♪ ♪ FIGURED YOU FOR A BARBECUE ♪ 576 00:38:27,204 --> 00:38:33,277 ♪ WHEN YOU DIED ♪ ♪ AND HERE I'M THINKING ABOUT ♪ 577 00:38:33,277 --> 00:38:38,015 ♪ YOU LYING UNDERGROUND ♪ ♪ PUSHING UP A PINE TREE ♪ 578 00:38:38,015 --> 00:38:45,289 ♪ IN MY FIELD ♪ ♪ OH, MONA 579 00:38:45,289 --> 00:38:51,595 ♪ OH, MONA, ♪ ♪ DARLING, 580 00:38:51,595 --> 00:38:54,398 YOU CAN CLOSE YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ I'VE GOT A TWELVE-GAUGE ♪ 581 00:38:54,398 --> 00:38:59,303 ♪ SURPRISE WAITING FOR YOU ♪ 582 00:38:59,303 --> 00:39:02,106 ♪ SINCE THE DAY ♪ ♪ THAT SHE PASSED AWAY ♪ 583 00:39:02,106 --> 00:39:07,645 ♪ EVERYTHING'S JUST THE SAME ♪ ♪ EVERYWHERE I GO ♪ 584 00:39:07,645 --> 00:39:15,252 ♪ SOMEBODY MENTIONS HER NAME ♪ ♪ SOMETIMES IT'S EASIEST ♪ 585 00:39:15,252 --> 00:39:20,124 ♪ TO TELL A FRIEND A LIE ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ♪ 586 00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:30,034 ♪ THE WAY I FEEL ♪ ♪ OH, MONA 587 00:39:30,034 --> 00:39:35,406 ♪ MY MONA ♪ ♪ SO MUCH OF YOU TO LOVE ♪ 588 00:39:35,406 --> 00:39:37,708 ♪ BUT TOO MUCH OF YOU ♪ ♪ TO TAKE CARE OF ♪ 589 00:39:37,708 --> 00:39:47,918 ♪ SO LONG ♪ ♪ NOW SHE IS GONE ♪ 590 00:39:47,918 --> 00:39:56,093 ♪ AND I AM LEFT ALONE ♪ ♪ AS YOU CAN SEE ♪ 591 00:39:56,093 --> 00:40:02,700 ♪ BUT EVER SINCE ♪ ♪ I CAUSED HER DEATH ♪ 592 00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:18,716 ♪ OH, I DO MISS HER COMPANY ♪ [APPLAUSE] 593 00:40:18,716 --> 00:40:21,018 Stephen: THANK YOU, JAMES. YOU CAN CATCH HIM 594 00:40:21,018 --> 00:40:24,321 ON TOUR THIS SUMMER. IT'S JAMES TAYLOR, EVERYBODY. 595 00:40:24,321 --> 00:40:28,459 THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." GOOD NIGHT. 596 00:40:28,459 --> 00:40:30,528 ♪ ♪