>> AMID ALL THE BOOZE AND CAR ADS DURING SUNDAY NIGHT'S GAME,
THERE WERE ALSO TWO SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS FOR JESUS CHRIST.
>> THE MESSAGES STARK, ARRESTING, AND BACKED BY
$100 MILLION. THAT'S HOW MUCH ORGANIZERS SAY
IS BEHIND THIS CAMPAIGN TO MARKET JESUS WITH THE TAGLINE
"HE GETS US." >> BUT THE SUPER BOWL HAS A LONG
HISTORY OF HIGH PROFILE ADVERTISEMENTS FOR RELIGION.
>> YO, PICK UP THE PHONE. >> HELLO.
>> JESUS! >> JEEESUS!
>> BU...
>> DDDAH. >> BU...
>> DDDAH. ♪ ♪
>> YO QUIERO SATAN! >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." TONIGHT...
SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A LINEMAN. FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES...
JOHN OLIVER AND FORMER WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF, RON
KLAIN. FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND "THE
LATE SHOW" BAND. AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED
SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
STEPHEN COLBERT. >> Stephen: HEY!
NICE TO SEE YOU. THANK YOU.
[LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
GOOD TO SEE YOU. HEY, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU. >> Audience: [CHANTING]
STEPHEN! STEPHEN!
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU.
[CHEERING] HEY!
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELCOME ONE AND ALL, WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
FOLKS, WE ARE STILL ALL ATWI ATWITTER.
THE COUNTRY IS STILL ALL RILED UP ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S
SEASON FINALE OF MEN'S FOOTBALL. I CAN'T BELIEVE PATRICK MAHOMES
AND THE TROPHY FINALLY KISSED! IT WAS...
WILL THEY OR WON'T THEY? AS EXPECTED, THE CITY OF
PHILADELPHIA DEVOLVED INTO TOTAL CHAOS.
AND THEN THE GAME STARTED. IT WAS A NAIL-BITER.
DID YOU WATCH THE GAME? I CAN'T BELIEVE, THAT FINAL
TOUCHDOWN. NAIL-BITER TILL THE BITTER END,
WITH THE CHIEFS EDGING OUT THE EAGLES, 38-35.
IT WAS A FUN NIGHT OF FOOTBALL, IF YOU DON'T COUNT
WATCHING 30,000 PEOPLE DOING THE TOMAHAWK CHOP.
SADLY, IT LOOKS LIKE THE NFL ONCE AGAIN FAILED TO
"END RACISM." SO FAR, THEY'VE ONLY ENDED
"ZONE." THANK YOU.
THAT'S A CHIN STROKER. THIS IS QB PATRICK MAHOMES'
SECOND SUPER BOWL WIN IN FOUR YEARS, MADE EVEN MORE IMPRESSIVE
BECAUSE HE DID IT WITH A HIGH-ANKLE SPRAIN,
WHICH WAS ACTUALLY THE SECOND WORST INJURY OF THE NIGHT AFTER
TERRY BRADSHAW GOT HIS HEAD STUCK IN A SOFT PRETZEL.
GET WELL SOON, TERRY. BUT AMERICA'S NOT THE ONLY PLACE
THAT ENJOYED THE BIG GAME. THE NFL SHOWED CLIPS OF VIEWING
PARTIES AROUND THE WORLD. >> THE SUPER BOWL
REALLY IS A GLOBAL EVENT. FAN VIEWING PARTIES IN TIMEZONES
AROUND THE WORLD. FROM SAO PAOLO, BRAZIL.
EAGLES WATCH PARTY IN ACCRA, GHANA, TO A CHIEFS VIEWING PARTY
IN MUNICH, GERMANY. IT'S JUST SO AWESOME
TO SEE ALL THE REACTION. SO MUCH PASSION FOR THE NFL
AROUND THE WORLD. >> Stephen: OH, GERMANY.
NOT A GREAT LOOK. OH, NO.
I'M GONNA SAY YOU'VE LOST THE RIGHT TO GROUP HAND GESTURES.
TETHER THE WRIST. NOTHING.
CAN'T GET IT UP THERE.
STRAP IT DOWN. OF COURSE, THE MVP OF LAST
NIGHT'S SUPERBOWL HAS TO BE RIHANNA, WITH HER HALFTIME SHOW.
THOSE BACK-UP DANCERS ARE AMAZING, AND THEY SEEM REALLY
FAMILIAR. JIM, CAN WE GET ANOTHER SHOT?
♪ ♪ SUPER, SUPER, SUPERDY BOWL.
AFTER THE SHOW, RIHANNA ANNOUNCED SHE IS PREGNANT.
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH PRINCE'S PERFORMANCE IN 2007, WHEN
EVERYONE WATCHING GOT PREGNANT. BY THE WAY, THAT JOKE WRITTEN BY
ONE OF MY WRITERS, WHO IS ALSO PREGNANT, WHO ADDED THAT UNLIKE
RIHANNA, SHE SPENT LAST NIGHT ON THE COUCH EATING A TUB OF
LOW-FAT YOGURT BEFORE BURSTING INTO TEARS AT A BUD LIGHT
COMMERCIAL BECAUSE, AND I QUOTE, "MILES TELLER SEEMS LIKE
HE REALLY LOVES HIS WIFE." THAT'S A GOOD HALFTIME SHOW.
I'D WATCH THAT. SWITCHING TO AMERICA'S OTHER
NATIONAL PASTIME: BEING TERRIFIED OF GIANT BALLOONS.
LAST WEEK A CHINESE BALLOON IN SOARED ACROSS AMERICA BEFORE
FINALLY BEING BEING DESTROYED BY A STEALTH FIGHTER.
JUST A REMINDER, WE SPEND $800 BILLION ON DEFENSE,
AND WE USED IT TO "POP BALLOON." YOU CAN DO THAT WITH A THUMB
TACK AND STRAW. NOW, "BALLOON" DOESN'T
NECESSARILY DO THIS THING JUSTICE.
IT WAS "TWO TO THREE SCHOOL BUSES IN SIZE,"
200 FEET ACROSS. AND THE DEBRIS WAS FOUND TO
CONTAIN AN ANTENNA MEANT TO PINPOINT THE LOCATIONS OF
COMMUNICATIONS DEVICES AND WAS CAPABLE OF INTERCEPTING CALLS
MADE ON THOSE DEVICES. WHAT?
WE CAN'T HAVE CHINESE BALLOONS MONITORING OUR CELL PHONES.
THAT'S WHAT TIKTOK IS FOR! ANYWAY, WE THOUGHT THE WHOLE
THING HAD "BLOWN" OVER THANK YOU.
>> Louis: THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO.
>> Stephen: DON'T. [LAUGHTER]
>> Stephen: THAT WASN'T A RIMSHOT.
THAT WAS A PD SHOT. THE U.S. MILITARY SHOT DOWN
THREE UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECTS.
NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, YOU'RE THINKIN'
"STEVE, YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE SUGGESTING THAT THESE ARE
ALIENS." WELL, LET ME BE CLEAR.
I'M NOT SUGGESTING THAT. I AM DECLARING THAT.
BECAUSE, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT, ACCORDING TO A SENIOR AIR FORCE
GENERAL, THE MILITARY WAS UNABLE TO IMMEDIATELY DETERMINE THE
MEANS BY WHICH ANY OF THE THREE LATEST OBJECTS WERE KEPT ALOFT
OR WHERE THEY WERE COMING FROM, ADDING, "I HAVEN'T RULED OUT
ANYTHING." YEAH, NOTHING'S OFF THE TABLE.
IT COULD BE ALIENS. IT COULD BE BALLOONS,
OR IT COULD BE... ALIEN BALLOONS!
NOW, ACCORDING -- SURE, WHY NOT?
WHY NOT? NOW, ACCORDING TO EXPERTS,
ONE REASON WE MAY BE SEEING ALL THESE OBJECTS GETTING SHOT DOWN
IS THAT, IN THE WAKE OF THE CHINESE SPY BALLOON, U.S.
AND CANADIAN MILITARIES ARE HYPERVIGILANT IN FLAGGING SOME
OBJECTS THAT MIGHT PREVIOUSLY HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO PASS.
SO, EVIDENTLY, NOW THE MILITARY IS LIKE A DAD WHO GOT ONE OF
THOSE MOTION-ACTIVATED NIGHT VISION WILDLIFE CAMS FOR
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT AND KEEPS BLOWING UP THE FAMILY'S TEXT
CHAIN. "I SAW THE FOX AGAIN.
HERE HE IS AT 2:37 A.M. AND AGAIN AT 2:44 A.M.
GOTTA TELL THE McCARDLES TO MOVE THEIR COMPOSTING BINS.
DON'T FORGET MOM'S BIRTHDAY IS IN APRIL!
HEART, HEART, HEART, HEART." SO LET'S RUN THROUGH
THE DEFINITELY-ALIEN OBJECTS. ON FRIDAY, A U.S. FIGHTER JET
BROUGHT DOWN AN UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT OVER THE WATERS OF
ALASKA. IT WAS HEADED TOWARD THE NORTH
POLE BEFORE IT WAS STRUCK DOWN. SANTA, YOU WILL BE MISSED.
THEN ON SATURDAY, ANOTHER OBJECT WAS SHOT DOWN OVER CANADA.
OH, MY GOD! SOMETHING HAPPENED IN CANADA!
ON SATURDAY NIGHT, PRIME MINISTER JUSTIN TRUDEAU TWEETED
"I ORDERED THE TAKE DOWN OF AN UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT THAT
VIOLATED CANADIAN AIRSPACE. A U.S. F-22 SUCCESSFULLY FIRED
AT THE OBJECT." OKAY, GOOD TO KNOW.
JUSTIN? CAN I CALL YOU JUSTIN?
IF IT WAS A "U.S. F-22" THAT SHOT IT DOWN,
YOU DIDN'T ORDER ANYTHING. YOU CALLED YOUR NEIGHBOR JOE
AND SAID, "HEY, COULD I ASK YA A FAVOR?"
IT'S A SMALL BUT IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE.
NEVERMIND, YOU DID GREAT. THE MILITARY IS BEING HUSH-HUSH
ABOUT WHAT THEY SHOT DOWN, ALL THEY'LL TELL US IS THAT IT
WAS "CYLINDRICAL." AH-HA!
CLEARLY, THE ALIEN INVASION
IS IMMINENT! LOOK DOWN RIGHT NOW.
LOOK AT YOUR BUTT, ARE YOU BEING PROBED RIGHT NOW?
NOW LOOK WHO'S DOING IT. IS IT AN ALIEN?
RIGHT ME A CARD IF IT WAS. WE'LL PUT THE ADDRESS UP.
THEN ON SUNDAY, ANOTHER U.F.O. WAS SHOT DOWN
OVER LAKE HURON, AND THIS ONE WAS NOT CYLINDRICAL,
BUT "OCTAGONAL," WITH STRINGS HANGING OFF AND NO DISCERNIBLE
PAYLOAD. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
THE ALIENS HAVE ACHIEVED TACTICAL PINATA TECHNOLOGY.
THE PAYLOAD'S INSIDE! AND IT'S DELICIOUS.
WE'VE BEEN GONE FOR A WEEK, WHICH MEANS WE HAVE A DECADE'S
WORTH OF LIES TO RECAP FROM NEW YORK CONGRESSMAN GEORGE
SANTOS, SEEN HERE TELLING REPORTERS
THAT THIS ROOM IS FULL OF HIS SUPERMODEL FRIENDS,
BUT THEY ARE ALL REALLY SHY. WE RECENTLY LEARNED THAT DURING
HIS CAMPAIGN, SANTOS TOLD DONORS HE PRODUCED THE BROADWAY MUSICAL
"SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK." NOW, THAT'S A PRETTY BIG JOB,
BUT AS HIS UNCLE ONCE TOLD HIM, "WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT
RESPONSIBILITY." OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY
I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS IS A LIE,
AND IT'S A WEIRD ONE, BECAUSE "SPIDERMAN: TURN OFF THE DARK"
IS FAMOUSLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST DISASTERS EVER TO HIT BROADWAY.
SANTOS IS BASICALLY SAYING, "YOU KNOW THAT SHOW THAT
EVERYONE MADE FUN OF, WHERE ACTORS KEPT FALLING
ON THE AUDIENCE, THAT LOST $60 MILLION?
THAT WAS ME. I ALSO WROTE THE JINGLE
FOR KARS FOR KIDS." YEAH, THERE YOU GO.
WHEN REPORTERS FACT-CHECKED SANTOS, ONE OF THE SHOW'S ACTUAL
PRODUCERS SAID THAT SANTOS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
ADDING, "NEITHER DID I. THIS CALL NEVER HAPPENED!"
OF COURSE, SANTOS ISN'T ALWAYS LYING.
SOMETIMES HE'S COMMITTING CRIMES.
LIKE IN 2017, WHEN HE REPORTEDLY STOLE PUPPIES FROM THE AMISH.
A SENTENCE THAT I DON'T BELIEVE HAS EVER BEEN UTTERED
ON THIS STAGE. THIS THEATER OPENED IN 1927.
NO ONE HAS EVER SAID, "HE STOLE PUPPIES
FROM THE AMISH." AND I'M TOLD WE HAVE A PICTURE
OF THE AMISH PUPPIES. THERE YOU GO.
WE SHOULD THERE. NOTHING GETS BETTER.
BACK IN 2017, SANTOS BOUGHT SOME DOGS FROM SEVERAL
PENNSYLVANIA DOG BREEDERS. BUT AFTER HE MADE OFF WITH THE
PUPS, HIS CHECKS BOUNCED, TOTALING MORE THAN $15,000.
$15,000 FOR PUPPIES? HOLY SHITZU.
SANTOS CLAIMED HIS CHECKBOOK WAS STOLEN.
SOMEBODY ELSE BOUGHT THESE DOGS WITH THE BAD CHECKS.
AND YET, AND YET, A FEW DAYS LATER, HE HELD AN ADOPTION EVENT
AT A STATEN ISLAND PET STORE. NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THAT.
"YOUR HONOR, I DIDN'T ROB THAT JEWELRY STORE.
TOTALLY UNRELATED QUESTION: HOW ARE YOU SET FOR
TENNIS BRACELETS?" WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW
FOR YOU TONIGHT. MY GUESTS, MY GUESTS...
ARE JOHN OLIVER AND FORMER WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF
STAFF RON KLAIN. STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND.
NICE TO SEE YOU. NICE TO SEE ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL
PEOPLE OVER THERE. DID YOU HAVE A NICE WEEK OFF?
ANYBODY DO ANYTHING PARTICULARLY FUN IN YOUR WEEK OFF?
>> I WENT TO SEE ENDEA PLAY WITH ELVIS COSTELLO.
>> Stephen: HOW DID IT GO? DID YOU SAY HI FOR ME?
>> I DID SAY HI. >> Stephen: DID HE RECEIVE IT
WELL? >> IT WAS OKAY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FROM ELVIS. IN A MINUTE, SITTING RIGHT OVER
THERE WE'RE GOING TO HAVE, UNTIL RECENTLY, CHIEF OF STAFF TO
PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN, RON KLAIN IS GOING TO BE OUT HERE.
I'M GOING TO ASK HIM ABOUT, HE WAS STILL THERE, HE WAS STILL IN
THERE WHEN THEY WERE FIRST SEEN, CERTAINLY THE CHINESE BALLOON.
AND THEN THE OTHER THINGS BEFORE THEY SHOT THEM DOWN, HE WAS
STILL IN THERE I BELIEVE. I THINK HE GOT OUT RIGHT BEFORE
THEY POPPED THEM. >> Louis: HE MAY HAVE SOME
INTEL. SPIN AND I HOPE YOU WELL.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BEFORE THAT, WE HAVE OUR FIRST GUEST.
MY FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF MY TOP SIX FAVORITE JOHNS.
WE COUNTED. WE COUNTED BEFORE THE SHOW.
TOP THREE, I WAS LIKE "EH, SIX." PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE
LATE SHOW," JOHN OLIVER. ♪ LIFE GOES ON DAY AFTER DAY ♪
♪ ♪ THERE YOU GO.
>> John: GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING.
TO ONE AND ALL. >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING? HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
>> John: ALL RIGHT. TOP SIX?
>> Stephen: I HAVE A LOT OF JOHNS AND MY FAMILY.
>> John: I WILL GIVE YOU THAT FOR FREE.
>> John: BATISTE LEFT YOU. EXPERIENCE STRICTLY JOHN.
>> John: I'M NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE JONS.
COMING HERE FOR A TOP 6H. >> Stephen: LATER I WILL TELL
YOU WHO SCORED ABOVE YOU. LET'S EARN IT.
>> John: LET'S SEE HOW MUCH I AGREE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S CALLED DRIVING TO AN END.
NOW THEY'VE GOT TO STICK AROUND TO FIGURE OUT WHO I LIKE MORE
THAN YOU WHO'S NAME JOHN. >> John: WHAT COMMERCIAL
CLAIMS TO COMMERCIAL -- WHAT A GLIMPSE TO COMMERCIAL TELEVISION
THAT IS. I HAVE THE OPPOSITE.
IT'S NOT TOO IN, IT'S LIKE YOU CAN'T LEAVE UNTIL I FINISH
TALKING ABOUT COMPOUNDING PHARMACIES.
IF I EVER HAD ONE COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE STORY, EVERYONE
WOULD LEAVE. >> Stephen: IF YOU EXHALED.
ONE BREATH. >> John: ONE BREATH.
THAT'S THE END. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO ACTUALLY
GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO THE [BLEEP] WE HAVE TO SAY.
>> Stephen: SPEAKING A BROADCAST, YOU'RE AN AMERICAN.
>> John: YES. >> Stephen: DID YOU WATCH THE
SUPER BOWL. >> John: OF COURSE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU ENJOY? >> John: I LOVE IT AS AN
EVENT. IT IS A CARTOONISH EVENT,
LITERALLY TOO BIG IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT? YOU HAVE THE CITY OF
PHILADELPHIA REPRESENTED AS WELL.
COME ON. >> Stephen: YES.
I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD WHEN ACTORS BECAUSE I ENJOY WATCHING
THE PEOPLE ATTEMPT TO CLIMB THE GREASED UP LIGHT POLES.
>> John: EITHER WAY, IF THE PHILLIES ARE IN --
IF THE PHILLIES IN THE SUPER BOWL, EITHER WAY THE CITY
IS GOING TO BURN. ARE THEY FLAMES OF JOY OR RAGE?
YOU ARE WORKING BACKWARDS FROM ARSON ON A MASSIVE SCALE.
THE THING THAT'S GROSS TO ME ABOUT THE SUPER BOWL, THEY GIVE
IT TO THE OWNER FIRST, THE TROPHY.
>> Stephen: THE LOMBARDI. >> John: THE TEAM HAS WON, THE
COACH HAS -- YOU HAVE A [BLEEP] 70-YEAR-OLD
BILLIONAIRE SAYING "I WOULD LOVE TO THANK MY FAMILY FOR THIS."
WHAT? YOUR FAMILY HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH THIS, NOTHING. YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ON THE
FIELD. YOU SHOULD BE IN YOUR EXECUTIVE
BOX SHUTTING UP. THAT'S WHAT SHOULD BE HAPPENING.
IN NO OTHER SPORT DO YOU GIVE IT TO THE OWNER FIRST.
>> Stephen: THEY DON'T DO THAT IN YOUR FOOTBALL?
>> John: DON'T DO THAT WITH YOUR HAND.
DON'T DO THAT. I FELT IT.
I SAW IT IN MY PERIPHERAL VISION AND I FELT A GUST.
>> Stephen: I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. >> John: NO, WE DON'T.
IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE THAT DID IT. THE FACT THAT YOU WOULD GIVE IT
TO THE OWNER FIRST AND THEN INTERVIEW HIM IS ABSOLUTELY
GROTESQUE. IT HAS TO STOP.
>> Stephen: IT MUST BE FUN FOR TEM BECAUSE WHO ELSE GETS
TO DO THAT OTHER THAN THE OWNER OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM?
>> John: SURE. I HAVE $20 BILLION AND NOW I
HAVE THIS SHINY THING. I TIRE OF IT NOW.
WHAT ELSE WILL FILL THIS VACUUM INSIDE ME?
>> Stephen: THE REASON THEY BUY THE TEAMS, THE REASON THEY
BUY THE TEAMS IS BECAUSE THEY HAD $20 MILLION BUT NOBODY KNEW
THEY HAD $20 MILLION. THEN THEY BUY THE TEAM AND
EVERYBODY KNOWS. >> John: YEAH, SURE.
PART OF ME THINKS IT'S ALSO THE KIND OF STILL OWN PEOPLE BUT
ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER. THEY'RE NOT THE NICEST PEOPLE,
NFL OWNERS. THEY HAVE PROVEN THAT.
THAT'S NOT ME PROJECTING THAT. THEY HAVE PROVEN THAT.
>> Stephen: HOW WOULD YOU COMPARE AMERICAN FOOTBALL FANS
WITH EUROPEAN FOOTBALL FANS? THERE IS SOCCER HOOLIGANISM AS
WE CALL IT OVER HERE. IT'S FAMOUS.
HOW WOULD YOU COMPARE THE FANS? >> John: WE LIKE TO BREAK
STUFF TOO. THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THE
CITY OF PHILADELPHIA. IT MAKES SENSE.
A CITY THAT WAS KIND OF BORN OUT OF SOME BRITISH INFLUENCE,
AGAIN, LET'S NOT GET INTO WHAT YOU DID AFTER THAT.
BUT IT REALLY FEELS LIKE THERE WAS SOME CONNECTIVE TISSUE TO
HOOLIGANISM IN PHILLY. THAT'S WHY I LIKE WHAT THEY DO.
BEFORE THE GAME STARTS. YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING THIS
RIGHT. >> Stephen: THAT'S THE SPECIAL
RELATIONSHIP. DESTROYING THINGS.
WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MR. JOHN OLIVER, EVERYBODY.
♪ ♪ >> Stephen: ONE OF THE FINEST
JOHNS I KNOW, MR. JOHN OLIVER. YOU DID NOT GROW UP WITH THE
AMERICAN TRADITION OF THE SUPER BOWL OR SUPER BOWL FOOD.
DO YOU DO THE SUPER BOWL FOOD? >> John: YEAH BECAUSE
SUPER BOWL FOOD IS KIND OF LIKE WHAT YOU'D SERVE IN AN
8-YEAR-OLD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. IT FEELS LIKE ADULTS REALIZING
WE COULD ACTUALLY STILL DO THIS OURSELVES ONCE A YEAR.
WE WILL HAVE CHICKEN TENDERS AND WE'LL HAVE FANCY DRINKS AND
WE'LL HAVE CHIPS AND WE'LL PUT IT IN A PLASTIC FOOTBALL HELMET.
IT'S FUN. >> Stephen: ARTICHOKE DIP IN
THE SHAPE OF THE FIELD. >> John: FUN SHAPES.
ONE DAY A YEAR WE'LL HAVE FUN SHAPES AND WILL MAKE OURSELVES
FEEL BETTER. WE SHOULD DO IT ALL THE TIME.
EATING OUT OF A FUN SHAPED OBJECT IS BETTER THAN EATING OFF
A PLATE. >> Stephen: WHAT IS YOUR
IMPRESSION OF AMERICAN CUISINE IN GENERAL WHEN YOU FIRST CAME
TO THIS COUNTRY? HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN SO GRACED
IS TO HAVE YOU ON THESE SHORES? >> John: [LAUGHS]
>> Stephen: I WAS TRYING TO SMOOTH OVER THIS PART.
>> John: AND YET YOU DID THAT THROUGH YOUR INFECTION ON THE
WORD "GRACE PERIOD" YOUR VOICE ALMOST VERT WOBBLES.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED HERE? >> John: SINCE 2006.
I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. YOU CANNOT FORCE ME OUT.
>> Stephen: WAS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION OF OUR CUISINE?
>> John: IT'S AMAZING OBVIOUSLY.
THERE'S PLENTY OF IT AND AGAIN, IT'S THE EXTREMITY OF IT, THE
SIZE OF IT AND ALSO WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH FOODSTUFFS.
THE FIRST THING THAT I REMEMBER SITTING IN FRONT OF AND NOT
FULLY BEING ABLE TO COMPREHEND WHAT I WAS LOOKING AT WAS THE
OREO PIZZA. >> Stephen: OUR FRIENDS AT
DOMINO'S. >> John: THAT'S RIGHT.
OUR FRIENDS AT DOMINO'S BRING YOU THE DELICIOUS OREO PIZZA.
DOMINO'S. IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER.
DOMINO'S, YOU'RE KILLING PEOPLE. YOU NEED TO STOP.
>> Stephen: HE'S JOKING. HE'S OBVIOUSLY JUST KIDDING.
YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS BUT WE KEEP TRACK OF SOME OF OUR HIGH
TICKET GUESTS, WHAT I WOULD SAY, PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN HERE A LOT,
PEOPLE THAT WE SEEM TO ENJOY. THIS IS YOUR 16TH APPEARANCE ON
THE SHOW. CONGRATULATIONS.
I GOT YOU A BOTTLE OF ADVIL.
YOU CAN HAVE THAT LATER. YOU'RE JUST EDGING OUT
BERNIE SANDERS WITH 15 BUT BERNIE IS ON NEXT WEEK SO WATCH
YOUR BACK. HE KNOWS.
HE HEARD YOU WERE COMING ON HE SAID "BOOK ME."
SO LET'S CALL THIS -- >> John: I'M NOT GOING DOWN
LIKE THAT. >> Stephen: EXACTLY.
IS TURNING 16 IN THE OLD COUNTRY A BIG DEAL
>> John: NOT REALLY. YOU CAN GO INTO PUBLIC BUT YOU
CAN KIND OF ALWAYS DO THAT. YOU CAN GO IN WITH YOUR FAMILY
AT 16 YOU CAN GO AND UNACCOMPANIED I BELIEVE.
YOU CAN'T BUY ALCOHOL BUT YOU CAN DRINK IT.
THAT'S IT. >> Stephen: HOW DOES THAT
WORK? >> John: YOU GO WITH SOMEONE
WHO IS 18. THE OTHER LOOPHOLE IS YOU CAN --
FROM MY LOCAL PUB, YOU CAN DRINK IF YOU HAD FOOD, IF YOU HAD A
MEAL. WHAT'S A MEAL?
IS IT A PACKET OF CRISPS OR A BAG OF NUTS?
ACCORDING TO MY PUB, YES. >> Stephen: MANY PEOPLE WHO
TRAVEL TO ENGLAND SAY, WHAT IS A MEAL?
>> John: OKAY. NO, NO, NO, YOU CAN HAVE A
LITTLE OF THAT. >> Stephen: ORGAN MEATS.
>> John: IT'S CHANGED. >> Stephen: KIDNEYS.
>> John: INDIAN FOOD IS INCREDIBLE IN ENGLAND, AND I
DON'T WANT TO GET INTO WHY. ANYWAY.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK HERE,
JOHN. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
THAT'S JOHN OLIVER. HE'LL BE HERE.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. IT'S THE HOST OF "LAST WEEK
TONIGHT," MR. JOHN OLIVER. I WANT TO CHECK IN ON A COUPLE
THINGS HERE. IT'S ALWAYS TOO MUCH FUN HERE.
YOUR ATTEMPT SEASON OF "LAST WEEK TONIGHT."
WHEN DOES IT START? >> John: SUNDAY.
>> Stephen: THIS SUNDAY. OKAY.
>> John: THANKS. >> Stephen: I'M NOT EXACTLY
SURE HOW TO PREAMBLE THIS PHOTO. THIS IS THE POSTER GOING UP ALL
OVER TOWN. THIS IS THE AD.
THE TAG IS, "IT'S ONLY BEEN NINE YEARS AND IT STARTS OFF WITH HIS
OVER HERE. >> Stephen: OUR VERY FIRST
POSTER FROM THE DAY WE STARTED THE SHOW.
2014. >> John: NOW.
YEAH. SO...
IS NOT IDEAL. >> Stephen: I WANT TO KNOW.
PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE SLOUCHING BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
ACTUALLY LOST HEIGHT. >> John: THAT'S RIGHT.
I HAVE BEEN DIMINISHED. THE CRAZY THING IS.
OUR WRITER CAME UP WITH HIS IDEA AND IT'S A PERFECT IDEA AND WE
SENT IT TO HP ON THE FIRST DRAFT THEY SENT BACK WITH ME ON THE
SIDE AND THEN THEY KIND OF MARKED UP ME WITH A LONG BEARD
LIKE I AM IN ZZ TOP AND WE HAD TO SAY NO, THE JOKE ISN'T WHAT I
MIGHT LOOK LIKE IF I AGE BADLY. THE JOKE IS MY ACTUAL FACE.
BELIEVE ME, MY FACE CAN STICK THE LANDING ON THIS PUNCH LINE.
>> Stephen: GO BACK TO THIS ONE, WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS
LITTLE MOP? WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS RIGHT
THERE? >> John: LIZ STANTON, OUR
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, SHE MADE ME GET A HAIRCUT BECAUSE SHE DID
NOT LIKE THOSE BANKS. IN A SENSE I WAS AHEAD OF MY
TIME. WE COULD ARGUE HORRIBLY BEHIND
THE TIMES. SHE, ONE OF HER LIFE REGRETS IS
THAT SHE DID NOT FORCE ME TO HAVE A HAIRCUT.
BEFORE THE FIRST SHOW, SHE GOT A HAIRCUT, NOT BEFORE THE PHOTO
SHOOT. THOSE BANGS HURT HER EYES AND
SOUL EVERY TIME SHE SEES THEM. THERE YOU GO.
>> Stephen: LOOK HOW YOUNG YOU LOOK.
FANTASTIC. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC HERE.
I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT. >> John: I'M GOING TO GET SOME
SURGICALLY IMPLANTED BANGS. I'M SURE THEY DO THEM.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE OVER AT HBO.
ARE YOU HBO OR HBO MAX QUESTION RACK IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?
>> John: IT'S A FAST-MOVING LANDSCAPE.
>> Stephen: HOW IS THE LEADERSHIP?
YOU GOT BOUGHT AND THERE IS BLOOD IN THE GUTTERS?
>> John: WE GET BOUGHT A LOT AT THE MOMENT.
ARE YOU SAYING WE GOT BOUGHT BY THE MOUSE?
>> Stephen: ARE YOU PART OF SHARK WEEK NOW?
>> John: NO. >> Stephen: BEFORE WE GO,
BEFORE WE GO. I HAVE TO, OBVIOUSLY I NEED TO
GET BOTH AN AMERICAN AND -- DO YOU HAVE DUAL CITIZENSHIP?
>> John: YES. HE ASKED ME THAT LAST TIME.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU FIND SO DIFFICULT.
I AM ALLOWED TO BE A CITIZEN OF BOTH COUNTRIES.
YOU DON'T LIKE IT. >> Stephen: I DON'T LIKE IT AT
ALL. >> John: YOU WANT SOMEONE TO
PICK A LANE AND STAY IN IT. >> Stephen: ONE OF THE
COLBERTS WHO CAME OVER, LANDED IN VIRGINIA AND HAD TO GO ALL
THE WAY TO ST. LOUIS TO GET OUT OF TROUBLE.
I THINK HE WAS A HORSE THIEF. >> John: BACKUP.
YOU CAN'T THROW ANY DETAIL LIKE THAT.
ANYWAY, I THINK HE WAS A HORSE THIEF.
THAT'S THE MOST FAST ANYTHING I'VE EVER HEARD OUT OF YOUR
MOUTH. I AM NEVER LETTING YOU NEAR A
HORSE. THAT DOESN'T GO AWAY.
>> Stephen: THEY BELIEVE HE WAS A HORSE THIEF AND THAT'S
WHAT I HAD TO FLEE. WHEN HE BECAME AN AMERICAN
CITIZN, HE HAD TO SAY, HE FORCE WEARS ANY ALLEGIANCE TO THE
QUEEN OF ENGLAND. >> John: I FO FORESWORE BACKED
ALONG TIME AGO. >> Stephen: GIVE ME THE
INTERNATIONAL PERSPECTIVE, THE UFOs.
DO YOU THINK THEY ARE UFOs? >> John: ARE THESE UFOs
UNDER YOUR SKIN? YOU SAT UP.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF UFOs THAT
EXCITES ME? >> John: I GET IT.
WE HAVE TAKEN THIS LIVE ON EARTH THING AS FAR AS WE CAN.
SOME I TAKE -- SOMEONE TAKE THE RELAY BATON FROM US.
>> Stephen: UNIDENTIFIED AERIAL PHENOMENON.
>> John: THEY EXIST. THE U PART, IDENTIFIED.
>> Stephen: THEY TOLD US THEY WERE REAL.
THEY DO 8,000 MILES AN HOUR AND STOP INSTANTLY AND PULL 800Gs.
>> John: YOU ARE CONFLATING A LOT OF THINGS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I DO. I DO THAT PROFESSIONALLY.
HAVE YOU NOT WATCHED THE SHOW? >> John: YOU KNOW WHO ELSE
CONFLATES A LOT OF THINGS, DOMINOES.
PHILIPPE STOP IT. IT'S NOT A FOODSTUFF IF YOU KEEP
MESSING WITH IT. DON'T PUT GUMMY BEARS ON THE
PIZZA, YOU SOCIOPATHS. >> Stephen: DO YOU ACTUALLY
WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS? DO YOU WANT TO?
>> John: THESE ARE HIGH VELOCITY SURVEILLANCE BALLOONS
WHICH HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR LIKE 50 YEARS.
>> Stephen: HIGH VELOCITY BALLOONS?
THERE'S NO HIGH VELOCITY BALLOONS.
HIGH VELOCITY BALLOON? >> John: YOU SEND A BALLOON
HIGH ENOUGH, IT WILL MOVE AT A HIGH VELOCITY.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS A NICE TRY.
THAT WAS A NICE TRY. THAT WAS A NICE TRY.
NICE TRY. JOHN, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
NO, WE'VE GOT TO GO. SEASON OF "LAST WEEK TONIGHT,"
AND THIS IS THE GUY. ONE OF THESE TWO GUYS.
FEBRUARY 19 ON HBO. JOHN OLIVER.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH FORMER WHIE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF RON
KLAIN.
♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT
GUEST HAS BEEN A MAINSTAY OF DEMOCRATIC POLICYMAKING FOR OVER
30 YEARS AND JUST SERVED AS THE WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," RON KLAIN.
HELLO, RON. LISTEN, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
WE MET BRIEFLY BEFORE. HE FIRST STARTED WORKING WITH
JOE BIDEN 36 YEARS AGO. UNTIL RECENTLY YOU WERE THE
CHIEF OF STAFF. THERE YOU ARE IN THE OVAL OFFICE
RIGHT THERE. THAT'S NICE.
THE BLACK AND WHITE GIVES IT GRAVITAS, LIKE YOU ARE JACK AND
BOBBY. BEFORE WE START, ARE YOU
ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU TOOK NO CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS FROM WHEN
YOU LEFT THE WHITE HOUSE? >> Ron: STEPHEN, I AM
ABSOLUTELY SURE I TOOK NO DOCUMENTS AT ALL WHEN I LEFT THE
WHITE HOUSE. >> Stephen: GOOD.
WELL, ONLY TIME WILL TELL, RON KLAIN.
OKAY. CHIEF OF STAFF IS THE GUY WHO
GETS THE CALL. BEFORE EVEN THE PRESIDENT, TO
GO, WHAT IS THIS THING THAT'S INCOMING TO THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH
THAT WE NEED TO DEAL WITH RIGHT NOW?
NOW THAT YOU'RE NO LONGER THAT GUY, DO YOU GET TO SLEEP AT
NIGHT? >> Ron: I'VE BEEN OUT FOR
ABOUT A WEEK AND YES, I AM SLEEPING MUCH BETTER, THAT'S FOR
SURE. YOU ARE THE PERSON.
WHEN YOU'RE THE CHIEF OF STAFF COMING OF THE PERSON THEY CALL
TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT WE SHOULD WAKE-UP THE PRESIDENT.
I USED TO SLEEP WITH MY PHONE BY THE BED WITH A SPECIAL RINGTONE
FROM THE SITUATION ROOM SO I WOULD BE SURE TO WAKE UP.
>> Stephen: WHEN THAT SOUND HAPPENS.
>> Ron: YOU GET OUT. >> Stephen: WHAT WAS THE
SOUND? >> Ron: IT WAS A CHIMING
CHIMING SOUND. WE WENT THROUGH A WEEK LAST
SUMMER THE PHONE RANG EVERY NIGHT AND I KEPT ON GETTING UP.
THERE WAS NO ONE THERE. I KEPT ON CALLING BACK THE
SITUATION ROOM. DID YOU CALL ME?
NO, WE DIDN'T CALL YOU. NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.
AFTER ABOUT A WEEK I GOT OUT THE NEXT DAY AND LOOKED OUT AND
REALIZED MY NEIGHBORS HAD INSTALLED A NEW WIND CHIME WITH
THE EXACT SAME SOUND AS MY SPECIAL RING.
SO I HAD TO CHANGE THE RING. NOW I SLEEP.
>> Stephen: EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.
CAN YOU TELL US WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ALL OF THESE UFOs?
BECAUSE THERE UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECTS, YOU ADMIT THAT?
>> Ron: I WILL ADMIT. >> Stephen: YOU ARE SWORN IN
BEFORE YOU COME ON ANY LATE NIGHT SHOW.
>> Ron: ABSOLUTELY. I WILL ADMIT THEY ARE AS YET
UNIDENTIFIED. I WAS THERE WHEN WE DID IDENTIFY
A CHINESE SPY BALLOON COMING INTO OUR AIRSPACE.
THE PRESIDENT MADE THE RIGHT DECISION TO SHOOT IT DOWN ONCE
IT SAFELY HAD EXITED OVERLAND CHEMICALLY SHOT DOWN SAFELY OVER
WATER. >> Stephen: MY OVERWATER?
THERE'S A LOT OF THE UNITED STATES PROVISIONAL PEOPLE
OUT THERE. >> Ron: WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
DROP A COUPLE THOUSAND POUNDS OF METAL AND SHRAPNEL YOU WANT TO
BE EXTRA SURE IT DOESN'T FALL ON THE SCHOOL OR CHURCH OR ANYTHING
LIKE THAT. >> Stephen: YEAR THE CHIEF OF
STAFF. >> Ron: THAT'S ONE OF THE
CHIEF OF STAFF RULES. >> Stephen: YOU ARE THERE WHEN
THEY TOOK THAT DOWN. WHAT ABOUT THE ONE IN ALASKA OR
CANADA OR THE ONE IN LAKE HURON? WERE YOU GONE FOR THAT?
>> Ron: I WAS GONE FOR THOSE WHEN I CAN TELL YOU I KNOW OUR
MILITARY, THEY ARE RECOVERING THE REMAINS.
THEY ARE GOING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT WAS BARELY OF THE BEST
PEOPLE ON IT. >> Stephen: WILL THEY TELL US?
>> Ron: THEY WILL TELL US WHAT IT WAS BUT I CAN TELL YOU
THERE'S NO EVIDENCE AT ALL, I'M SORRY, THAT IT IS ALIENS IN ANY
WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. >> Stephen: ARE YOU SAYING
THESE AREN'T ALIENS OR THERE IS NO EVIDENCE AT ALL OF ANY ALIENS
OUT THERE? REMEMBER YOU ARE SWORN IN.
>> Ron: THERE'S NO EVIDENCE OF ALIEN LIFE ON EARTH OTHER THAN
TED CRUZ. >> [CHEERING]
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND
ABOUT THE JOB OF CHIEF OF STAFF? >> Ron: I THINK PEOPLE DON'T
REALLY APPRECIATE WHAT AN AMAZING TEAM GET TO LEAD AS
CHIEF OF STAFF. THERE ARE ABOUT 400 PEOPLE WHO
WORK AT THE WHITE HOUSE. WE WERE VERY LUCKY IN THE BIDEN
ADMINISTRATION. WE WORKED VERY HARD TO HAVE THE
MOST DIVERSE WHITE HOUSE STAFF AND HISTORY THE MAJORITY WAS
FEMALE, FIRST TIME EVER. FIRST AND NEVER MAJORITY OF THE
SENIOR WHITE HOUSE STAFF WAS FEMALE.
RECORD NUMBERS OF PEOPLE OF COLOR WORKING ON THE STAFF.
THE PEOPLE, I WOULD GET THERE VERY EARLY.
I WOULD STAY VERY LATE. PEOPLE WERE THERE WITH I GOT
THERE. THEY WERE THERE WHEN I LEFT.
PEOPLE COME INTO THAT BUILDING EVERYDAY TO WORK SO HARD FOR THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE TO TRY TO MAKE THIS COUNTRY A BETTER PLACE, AND
THAT'S SOMETHING, IT'S AN UNBELIEVABLE HONOR TO BE ABLE TO
LEAD THAT TEAM. >> Stephen: A RECENT POLL...
[APPLAUSE] A RECENT POLL, AP POLL RECENTLY
SAYS 37% DEMOCRATS WANT PRESIDENT BIDEN TO SEEK A SECOND
TERM WITH MANY CITING HIS AGE IS THE REASON PRESENTATION.
WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSE TO PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT HE IS TOO OLD TO
BE RUNNING AT 82 AND SERVED UNTIL HE'S 86?
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT A FORMULA?
>> Ron: I ASK PEOPLE TO LOOK AT THE RECORD.
THIS PRESIDENT HAS PASSED THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ECONOMIC PLAN
SINCE FDR WHILE MANAGING THE LARGEST LAND WAR IN EUROPE SINCE
TRUMAN. HE PASSED THE LARGEST INFO
STRUCTURE BILL SINCE EISENHOWER, MOST SIGNIFICANT GUN-CONTROL
BILL SINCE CLINTON AND PASS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT CLIMATE CHANGE
BILL IN ANY COUNTRY, ANY PLACE ON EARTH AT ANY TIME.
I THINK IF YOU LOOK AT THAT RECORD.
I THINK IF YOU LOOK AT THAT RECORD AND THEN YOU JUST SAW,
YOU SAW HIM LAST WEEK GO TOE-TO-TOE WITH THE HOUSE
REPUBLICANS AT THE STATE OF THE UNION HOLDING HIS OWN, MORE THAN
HOLDING HIS OWN, AGAINST A KIND OF A RAUCOUS CROWD.
I THINK THAT'S A PERSON IS DOING A GREAT JOB AS PRESIDENT AND
SHOULD GO FOR FOUR MORE YEARS. >> Stephen: I KNOW THE STATE
OF THE UNION IS PROBABLY THE HARDEST SPEECH TO WRITE.
THERE ARE MORE HANDS, MORE THUMBS GET INTO THAT PIE THEN
PROBABLY SHOULD. EVERYONE WANTS THEIR ISSUE TO BE
ADDRESSED. EVERY DEPARTMENT IN THE
ADMINISTRATION. IT'S GONE OVER WITH A FINE-TOOTH
COMB. I ASSUME YOU'RE INVOLVED IN THAT
PROCESS? >> Ron: I WAS BUT THE
PRESIDENT HAS TWO GREAT PEOPLE WHO LEAD THAT PROCESS AT THE
WHITE HOUSE. I CERTAINLY HAD MY TWO CENTS IN
THERE. >> Stephen: YOU'RE WATCHING
IT. ARE YOU WATCHING FROM THE
WHITE HOUSE OR ARE YOU IN THE GALLERY?
>> Ron: I WATCHED IT FROM THE WHITE HOUSE TO LEAD OUR
CONTINUITY OF GOVERNMENT EFFORTS IN CASE ANYTHING, GOD FORBID,
HAPPENED DURING THE STATE OF THE UNION.
>> Stephen: YOU IN THE SECRETARY OF LABOR.
>> Ron: HE WAS IN A DIFFERENT LOCATION.&
SPIN ON THE PERSON GETS CHOSEN AS THE DESIGNATED SURVIVOR, WHEN
THEY FIND OUT THEY ARE THE PERSON.
THEY GO OH, [BLEEP]. I AM THE ONE YOU DON'T CARE
ABOUT. >> Ron: NO, THIS IS THE
PRESIDENT TO HAVE THE WORST HAPPEN WOULD BE THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES. IT'S A GREAT HONOR TO BE THE
DESIGNATED SURVIVOR. >> Stephen: THE SECRETARY OF
LABOR. >> Ron: MARTY WALSH.
>> Stephen: I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU KNEW.
I TOTALLY KNEW. WHEN THE CRUELLA DE VILS OUT
THEY ARE SAYING "BOO, BAD, YOU STINK."
WHEN THEY WERE DOING THAT WHEN HE DESCRIBED THE POSITION OF
SOME OF THE MEMBERS IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY ABOUT
SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE, MULTIPLE TIMES STATED THEY
WANTED TO CUT IT, LORI ARE YOU? >> Ron: WE DID PLAN A LITTLE
BIT. WE WERE EXCITED.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ACCUSED OF TRYING TO CUT SOCIAL SECURITY
AND MEDICARE MAY BE YOU SHOULDN'T TRY TO CUT
SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE. HARRY TRUMAN, "GIVE 'EM HELL,
HARRY." HE SAID I DON'T GIVE THEM HELL.
I JUST TELL THEM THE TRUTH. >> Stephen: WHEN IS THE
PRESIDENT GOING TO ANNOUNCE? >> Ron: THAT'S UP TO HIM AND
HIS FAMILY TO PICK THE RIGHT TIME.
I HOPE IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE.
>> Stephen: SO HE IS ANNOUNCING?
>> Ron: AGAIN, I'M NOT HERE TO ANNOUNCE THAT HE'S ANNOUNCING.
>> Stephen: IT SOUNDS LIKE -- >> Ron: I'M HERE TO ANNOUNCE
THAT I HOPE HE ANNOUNCES. >> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE. RON KLAIN, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. THANKS.
THAT WAS A TON OF FUN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW. MY GUESTS WILL BE PATRICK
STEWART AND KE HUY QUAN. STICK AROUND FOR JAMES.
GOOD NIGHT.