>> ACCORDING TO A RECENT REPORT, THE NEWS NETWORK CNN IS SERIOUS
ABOUT GETTING INTO COMEDY, AND IS EVEN CONSIDERING HIRING A
COMEDIAN TO HOST ONE OF ITS PRIME-TIME SHOWS.
( APPLAUSE ) >> JOSEPH R. BIDEN IS ALLEGEDLY
HIDING DOCS IN HIS GARAGE, TOO. WE'LL HAVE MORE ON THE STORY
COMING UP SHORTLY WITH OUR VERY OWN MANU RAJU.
OH!
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: HUGH JACKMAN
AND MUSICAL GUEST MIMI WEBB
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HAPPY. HAPPY MONDAY.
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY. THANKS, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. >> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN! ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HAVE A SEAT, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WELCOME, WELCOME, ONE AND ALL TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LUTHER KING JR. DAY, EVERYBODY. ALWAYS WORTH CELEBRATING.
AND IN HONOR, I THOUGHT I'D KICK OFF THE SHOW TONIGHT WITH A
LESSER KNOWN FUN FACT FROM THIS GREAT MAN'S LIFE.
DP YOU KNOW THAT-- AND THIS IS TRUE--OON ALTHOUGH WE NOW
REGARD M.L.K. AS ONE OF THE GREATEST ORATORS OF OUR TIME, HE
ACTUALLY RECEIVED TWO "Cs" IN PUBLIC SPEAKING.
THAT'S A REALLY TOUGH TEACHER: "NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THE
DETAILS OF A DREAM, MARTIN. HAVE YOU ACTUALLY EVER CLIMBED A
MOUNTAIN? WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW!"
YESTERDAY PRESIDENT BIDEN CELEBRATED M.L.K.'S LEGACY FROM
DR. KING'S OWN PULPIT AT EBENEZER BAPTIST CHURCH:
>> I SAY THIS WITH ALL SINCERITY.
I STAND HERE HUMBLED, BEING THE FIRST SITTING PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES TO HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK AT
EBENEZER'S SUNDAY SERVICE. YOU HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR 136
YEARS. I KNOW I LOOK LIKE IT, BUT I
HAVEN'T. ( LAUGHTER )
"LOOK AT THIS FACE! I KNOW I LOOK LIKE IT.
LOOK AT THIS FACE! IT'S LIKE AN OLD CATCHER'S
MITT. WHITE DOES CRACK, JACK.
I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE JUST UNWRAPPED A MUMMY.
DON'T ASK WHAT I WAS WRAPPED IN. IT WAS CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS.
OOPS, I'VE SAID TOO MUCH. AMEN.
PLAY BALL!" ( APPLAUSE )
REVEREND THIS MORNING AT A PRAYER BREAKFAST, WHERE HE
LEARNED IT WAS THE BIRTHDAY OF M.L.K.'s DAUGHTER-IN-LAW,
ARNDREA WATERS KING. ALTHOUGH, IT SEEMS LIKE HE WAS
MISSING ONE SMALL DETAIL.
>> WELL, LOOK, MY WIFE HAS A RULE IN OUR FAMILY: WHEN IT'S
SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY, YOU SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
YOU READY? ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR
( INAUDIBLE ) >> Stephen: WOW, OKAY.
NOW, PEOPLE ARE ACCUSING HIM-- YES.
PEOPLE ARE ACCUSING HIM FOR FORGETTING HER NAME.
THAT'S NOT FAIR. HE CLEARLY NEVER KNEW HER NAME.
OR MAYBE THEY'RE JUST SUCH GOOD FRIENDS THAT HE'S CALLING HER BY
HER NICKNAME: "LAA-LURH." ( LAUGHTER )
THANK YOU UNFORTUNATELY FOR PRESIDENT JOE, HIS CLASSIFIED
DOCUMENT SAGA CONTINUES. ON SATURDAY, IT WAS REPORTED
THAT BIDEN'S AIDES FOUND FIVE ADDITIONAL PAGES OF
CLASSIFIED MATERIAL AT HIS PERSONAL RESIDENCE IN DELAWARE.
OH, MY GOD! THIS JUST WON'T END!
JOE'S MAKING ME DO SOMETHING I SWORE I WOULD NEVER DO: CARE
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS IN DELAWARE. IT'S GETTING-- IT'S GETTING.
( APPLAUSE ) HOW IS IT GOING?
ANYWHERE FROM DELAWARE? DELAWARE?
IT'S GETTING HARD TO KEEP ALL THESE DOCUMENTS STRAIGHT, SO LET
ME LAY IT OUT. THIS NEWLY DISCOVERED STACK OF
FIVE PAGES IS ACTUALLY PART OF THE SAME STASH WE LEARNED ABOUT
LAST WEEK. BUT, APPARENTLY, BIDEN'S LAWYERS
HAD STOPPED SEARCHING THE PROPERTY BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T
HAVE SECURITY CLEARANCE. SO A WHITE HOUSE LAWYER WHO DID
HAVE CLEARANCE ARRIVED THURSDAY AND FOUND FIVE ADDITIONAL
DOCUMENTS WITH CLASSIFIED MARKINGS.
OKAY, BIDEN TEAM, HOW 'BOUT BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY
ANNOUNCEMENTS, YOU WAIT UNTIL THE WHOLE SEARCH IS FINISHED?
"HEY, GREAT NEWS! WE ONLY FOUND ONE RACCOON
LIVING INSIDE YOUR WALL. SHE'S LACTATING UP A STORM, BUT
I'M SURE THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING."
( LAUGHTER ) WHY HAS-- DISTURBING IMAGE.
LACTATING RACCOON. NOW, WHY HAS STUFF BEEN COMING
OUT IN DRIBS AND DRABS? WELL, AFTER THE FIRST DOCUMENTS
WERE FOUND, THE BIDEN TEAM VOLUNTEERED TO DO ADDITIONAL
SEARCHES, BUT MOVED MORE SLOWLY THAN LAW ENFORCEMENT EXPECTED.
HOW FAST DO YOU EXPECT AN 80-YEAR-OLD MAN TO MOVE?
"OKAY, WHAT ARE WE LOOKIN' FOR? THE DOCUMENTS?
I GOT SOME BOXES DOWN IN THE OLD GUEST ROOM.
COME ON, LET'S GO DOWN. LET'S GET THEM.
BOY, THAT PICTURE LOOKS KINDA CROOKED.
DOES THAT LOOK LEVEL TO YOU GUYS?
DOES THAT LOOK LEVEL? I GOT A LEVEL IN THE GARAGE.
LET ME GET THAT. OH, RIGHT, THE BOXES, THE BOXES.
HOLD ON HELP I GOT THE BOXES. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THIS?
WHAT'S GOING ON?" SCENE.
THIS MIGHT NOT EVEN BE THE END BECAUSE SOURCES SAY THERE ARE
MULTIPLE ADDITIONAL SPOTS THAT COULD BE SEARCHED, AND IT'S
POSSIBLE ADDITIONAL DOCUMENTS COULD STILL BE FOUND.
WELL, IF THIS GOES ON UNTIL SPRING, THEY CAN KILL TWO BIRDS
AND COMBINE THE SEARCH WITH THE WHITE HOUSE EASTER EGG HUNT.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS DOCUMENT STORY-- HOW EARLY
IS EASTER THIS YEAR? IS IT EARLY OR LATE?
NO WAY OF KNOWING. THIS DOCUMENT STORY IS PLAYING
RIGHT INTO THE REPUBLICANS' HANDS.
NOW THE HOUSE G.O.P. IS DEMANDING TWO YEARS OF VISITOR
LOGS FROM PRESIDENT BIDEN'S DELAWARE HOME.
THEY'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT ALL OF BIDEN'S REGULAR VISITORS:
BEN, JERRY, BASKIN, ROBBINS, AMBASSADOR HAAGEN,
ADMIRAL DAZS, AND MOST SCANDALOUS OF ALL, A SOLO VISIT
FROM MRS. SOFTEE! YES, MRS.,s MRS. SOFTEE.
YEAH. THEY SPLIT UP.
SHE LEFT MR. SOFTEE, FOR OBVIOUS
REASONS. ( LAUGHTER )
GOOD-BYE, CHILDHOOD. OF
ONE LITTLE PROBLEM WITH THE REPUBLICANS' REQUEST FOR WHO
CAME AND WENT FROM THE DELAWARE HOME: "THE WHITE HOUSE
SAYS NO VISITOR LOGS EXIST FOR PRESIDENT BIDEN'S PRIVATE
RESIDENCE." OH, THEY DON'T EXIST?
OR DO THEY EXIST... ON HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP!
( LAUGHTER ) MORE DRAMATIC.
OF COURSE, PRESIDENT BIDEN SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD THESE
MATERIALS AT HOME, AND I'M SURE HOUSE REPUBLICANS HAVE HONEST
CONCERNS ABOUT OUR NATION'S CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS.
RIGHT, ONE OF THOSE REPUBLICANS? >> AT THE END OF THE DAY, MY
BIGGEST CONCERN ISN'T THE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS, TO BE
HONEST WITH YOU. MY CONCERN IS HOW THERE'S SUCH A
DISCREPANCY IN HOW FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS TREATED-- BY
RAIDING MAR-A-LAGO, BY GETTING THE SECURITY CAMERAS, BY TAKING
PICTURES OF DOCUMENTS ON THE FLOOR, BY GOING THROUGH
MELANIA'S CLOSET-- VERSUS JOE BIDEN.
>> Stephen: YES, THERE IS SUCH A DISCREPANCY.
JOE BIDEN'S OWN LAWYERS ARE THE ONES WHO FOUND HIS DOCUMENTS,
THEN IMMEDIATELY TURNED THEM IN TO THE NATIONAL
ARCHIVES. THE OTHER GUY HID THE DOCUMENTS,
THEN HIS LAWYERS LIED, OBSTRUCTED-- OR IN RUDY'S CASE,
FELL ASLEEP OUTSIDE THE M&M STORE IN A KIDDIE POOL OF CARLO
ROSSI. I LIKE THAT GUY.
DEPUTY DOG! THERE'S MORE NEWS ABOUT
NEW YORK CONGRESSMAN AND THAT ONE FIFTH--
( AUDIENCE BOOING ) NOT HIS CORE BASE.
( LAUGHTER ) ONE FIFTH-GRADER WHO CARRIES A
BRIEFCASE, GEORGE SANTOS. SINCE HE WAS ELECTED, WE'VE
LEARNED THAT SANTOS HAS NO PROBLEM MISREPRESENTING
EVERYTHING, INCLUDING HIS OWN NAME.
THERE ARE STORIES OUT THERE THAT SANTOS CALLED HIMSELF BY A
VARIETY OF NAMES, AND NOW WE HAVE PROOF, IN THE FORM OF A
RECENTLY-SURFACED VIDEO FROM AN EVENT IN LOS ANGELES, CIRCA
2019. CHECK OUT WHAT NAME SANTOS USES:
>> MY NAME'S ANTHONY DEVOLDER. I RECENTLY FOUNDED A MOVEMENT
CALLED "UNITED FOR TRUMP" ON FACEBOOK.
>> Stephen: (AS SANTOS) "AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS
ABOUT IT, YOU CAN D.M. ME AT 'THE REAL TAYLOR SWIFT.'"
ONE OF THE MOST-- ( APPLAUSE )
QUESTIONS FACING SANTOS IS THAT HE LOANED $705,000 TO HIS OWN
CAMPAIGN, EVEN THOUGH 2020 RECORDS INDICATE HE ONLY HAD
$55,000. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ASKING
WHERE SANTOS GOT THE MONEY, INCLUDING FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN
MATT GAETZ. YOU SEE, ON THURSDAY, GAETZ WAS
THE GUEST HOST OF STEVE BANNON'S WAR ROOM PODCAST, AND ASKED
SANTOS THE ORIGINS OF THAT 700K. >> WHERE DID IT COME FROM?
>> WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHERE IT DIDN'T COME FROM.
IT DIDN'T COME FROM CHINA, UKRAINE, OR BURISMA.
HOW ABOUT THAT? >> WELL, THAT IS AN ANSWER.
( LAUGHTER ). ANSWER.
NOT TO THE QUESTION YOU ASKED, BUT IT'S AN ANSWER.
THE JUDGES WOULD ALSO HAVE ACCEPTED "MANIFEST DESTINY" AND
"CHLOROPHYLL." ALSO ANSWERS.
THOSE WOULD ALSO BE ANSWERS OF SOME FORM.
GAETZ PERSISTED, SORT OF. >> AND SO, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU
DONATED THAT MONEY TO YOUR CAMPAIGN, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU CAN SAY ABOUT THE WORK YOU DID THAT WAS THE ORIGIN OF
THOSE RESOURCES? >> LOOK, I'VE WORKED MY ENTIRE
LIFE. I'VE LIVED AN HONEST LIFE.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ACCUSED OF-- ANY BAD DOINGS.
REALLY? >> Stephen: NO ONE'S ACCUSED
YOU OF DOING ANYTHING BUT DOING BAD DOINGS.
YOU SHOULD WATCH THE NEWS! SOMEBODY GET THIS GUY A TV.
OR BETTER YET, JUST LEAVE YOUR DOOR OPEN, AND HE'LL TAKE IT.
SANTOS CONTINUED: >> SO IT'S THE EQUITY OF MY
HARD-WORKING SELF THAT I'VE INVESTED INSIDE OF ME.
>> Stephen: WELL, THERE IT IS! HE KNOT THE MONEY FROM THE
EQUITY OF HIS HARDWORKING SELF THAT HE'S INVESTED INSIDE OF
HIM. DID I HAVE THAT RIGHT?
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I GOTTA SAY.
THE EQUITY OF HIS HARDED WORKING SELF THAT HE'S INVESTED INSIDE
OF HIM. FOR A GUY WHO LIES THIS MUCH, HE
SHOULD REALLY BE BETTER AT IT. MALCOLM GLADWELL SAID YOU NEED
TO DO SOMETHING FOR 10,000 HOURS TO MASTER IT.
OR AS GEORGE SANTOS SAID, "I AM MALCOLM GLADWELL."
( LAUGHTER ) NEWS, THIS WEEKEND WAS THE 71st
ANNUAL MISS UNIVERSE COMPETITION AND MISS U.S.A., R'BONNEY
GABRIEL, WON IT ALL! KEEP IN MIND, THIS ISN'T MISS
EARTH. THIS IS MISS UNIVERSE.
WHICH IS WHY WE'RE BEAMING TONIGHT'S SHOW OUT TO SPACE.
ALPHA CENTAURI, IN 4.36 YEARS, YOU'RE GOING TO LEARN THAT
YOU'RE ALL UGGOS. IT WAS A CLOSE CONTEST, BUT
R'BONNEY SEALED THE DEAL DURING THE COSTUME PORTION OF THE
EVENING, WHEN SHE WORE THIS OUTFIT, WHICH IS EITHER
MOON-THEMED, OR WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN A DISCO BALL PUKES.
( LAUGHTER ) I KNOW-- I KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE--
( APPLAUSE ) HARD TO WALK IN THAT LUNAR
GET-UP, BUT YOU'D BE WRONG. IT'S ACTUALLY EXTREMELY HARD TO
WALK IN IT. ( LAUGHTER )
WOMAN, BECAUSE ONE GIANT STEP WOULD BLOW OUT HER MENISCUS."
OTHER CONTESTANTS ALSO BROUGHT WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS HUGH JACKMAN.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF MY TECH
SEGMENT: "CYBORGASM." STICK AROUND.
GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND RIGHT
THERE. LOUIS, HAPPY MONDAY.
HAPPY MONDAY. >> Louis: HAPPY MONDAY.
>> Stephen: FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE, THE NEWCOMERS TO "THE
LATE SHOW"" WHO MAY NOT KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN TO THE
PEOPLE OUT THERE, WE HAVE AN OLD FRIEND JOINING THE BAND TONIGHT.
TELL EVERYBODY WHO IS SITTING WITH THE BAND TONIGHT, PLEASE.
>> OH, MY GOD, FRIEND OF THE SHOW, CORI WONG AND THE WONG
NOTES. CORI WONG.
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
NICE TO SEE YOU, SIR. OLD HOME WEEK.
ALSO, YOU START WITH THE CORI WONG, I COUNTER WITH A MR. HUGH
JACKMAN WILL BE OUT HERE IN JUST A LITTLE WHILE.
>> Louis: HEY! >> Stephen: STAR OF STAGE,
SCREEN, OTHER THINGS, NO DOUBT. OTHER FORMS OF MEDIUM.
QUICK PODCASTING PLUG RIGHT HERE.
IF YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS SHOW ON THE TV, AS YOU'RE WATCHING IS
RIGHT NOW, KEEP IN MIND, YOU CAN ALSO ENJOY THIS SHOW ON THE
PODCAST. THAT'S HOW EVIE LISTENS TO IT.
>> Louis: OH, REALLY. >> Stephen: SHE DOES THE
PODCAST THE NEXT DAY. SHE'S A BUSY WOMAN.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, FOR THIS NONSENSE.
IF YOU ENJOYED THE PRINCE HARRY INTERVIEW LAST WEEK, AND MANY OF
YOU DID, I CAN TELL-- ( APPLAUSE )
LATE. THAT WAS A LITTLE LATE.
BUT WE GOT A 40-MINUTE VERSION OF THAT ON THE PODCAST.
GO CHECK IT OUT. AND THERE'S MORE HARRY OUT
THERE. WE HAVE ANOTHER 10 MINUTES OF
HARRY,s RIGHT? WE'RE GOING TO DROP THAT ONE OF
THESE DAYS. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT.
FOLKS, YOU KNOW I LOVE TECH. NOTHING GETS ME GOING IN THE
MORNING LIKE THE SOUND OF MY MODEM DIALING UP ALL THE HOTTEST
NEWS FIT TO PRINT ON MY OKIDATA DOT MATRIX.
AMERICA TRULY IS ONLINE. AND I LIKE TO BRING YOU ALL THE
LATEST TECH NEWS IN MY TECH SEGMENT: CYBORGASM.
>> OH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
CREDIT IS SO LONG, I THOUGHT I'D HAVE A SIP OF COFFEE, AND I
SPILLED A ( BLEEP ) LOAD OF IT. FIRST UP, THE ANNUAL CONSUMER
ELECTRONICS SHOW JUST FINISHED, AND ONE OF THE HOTTEST NEW
INNOVATIONS IS A SNORE-SILENCING PILLOW.
FUN FACT: EVERY PILLOW IS A SNORE-SILENCING PILLOW IF YOU'RE
WILLING TO DO THE TIME. KEEP THAT IN MIND.
THE SMART PILLOW HAS A BUILT-IN MICROPHONE THAT DETECTS SNORING,
THEN TRIGGERS SOUNDLESS AIRBAGS THAT CHANGE SIZE TO GENTLY TURN
A SLEEPER'S HEAD. GREAT FOR SNORING, LESS SO FOR
ANY OTHER BED ACTIVITY. "HEY, WANNA GO BACK TO MY PLACE?
WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP IT DOWN. THE PILLOW IS LISTENING."
THE PILLOW ALSO SYNCS WITH A SMARTPHONE APP AND COLLECTS
DATA WHICH IS ANALYZED TO IDENTIFY SNORING PATTERNS.
UNTIL NOW, THI ADVANCED SNORE TRACKING WAS ONLY POSSIBLE IF
YOU HAD CUTTING EDGE "SLEEP-DEPRIVED SPOUSE"
TECHNOLOGY. IF A MICROPHONE PILLOW DOESN'T
SOUND QUITE INVASIVE ENOUGH, THEN YOU'LL LOVE A NEW COMPUTER
TO PUT IN YOUR TOILET. IT'S "A DISK THAT HANGS INSIDE A
TOILET BOWL" WHICH "LETS PEOPLE ANALYZE THEIR URINE."
AND BEFORE YOU JUDGE, THE DISK IS INTO IT.
( LAUGHTER ) THE DEVICE MEASURES NUTRITIONAL
INDICATORS LIKE "VITAMIN C AND KETONE LEVELS."
THEN, BASED ON THAT INFORMATION, "RECOMMENDS WORKOUTS, DIETARY
SUGGESTIONS, AND RECIPES." "HONEY, HONEY, WHAT SHOULD WE
HAVE FOR DINNER? I'M THINKIN' PIZZA, BUT THE
TOILET THINKS WE SHOULD GET SUSHI.
ALSO, ALSO-- ( APPLAUSE )
BELL AGAIN IT'S GONNA HIRE THE PILLOW TO KILL ME."
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS )
OF "BMW'S i VISION DEE CONCEPT CAR THAT CAN CHANGE COLORS IN
SECONDS," USING SOMETHING CALLED "E INK TECHNOLOGY."
AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THESE COLOR CHOICES, IT'S THE PERFECT CAR
FOR THE EASTER BUNNY'S MIDLIFE CRISIS.
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. WITH ITS NEW ABILITY TO ADAPT,
THE CAR CAN EVEN MAKE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS WITH ITS GRILLE AND
HEADLAMPS. AND I'M TOLD WE HAVE A VIDEO
SIMULATION: ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOW THERE'S NO-- NO BUMP.
ALSO DEBUTING AT C.E.S. THIS YEAR, A NEW DEVICE TO KEEP YOUR
CONVERSATIONS PRIVATE WHILE GAMING.
TAKE A LOOK: >> AH, AH, AH!
>> SHHH, BE QUIET.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
NOW, THAT'S A LOOK THAT SAYS "YES, THIS IS TOTALLY A SEX
THING." THE DEVICE IS CALLED THE
"MUTALK," BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER THAN "GAME GIMP."
( LAUGHTER ) ROBOTICS RESEARCH HAVE RESULTED
IN "A ROBOT CALLED GOLFI BEING THE FIRST TO BE ABLE TO
AUTONOMOUSLY SPOT AND TRAVEL TO A GOLF BALL ANYWHERE ON A GREEN
AND SINK A PUTT." LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT GOLFI IN
ACTION: ALL RIGHT, IT SEES THE BALL...
STARTS THE APPROACH... MAKES A SMALL ADJUSTMENT
HERE... MOVES WITH A QUICK TURN ...
A LITTLE CLOSER... FINAL APPROACH...
ALMOST THERE... ALL RIGHT, HERE IT COMES....
BOOM. FINALLY, A SOLUTION TO THE
PROBLEM OF GOLF BEING TOO FAST. ( LAUGHTER )
A ROBOT DELIVERY SERVICE IN MIAMI.
RESIDENTS CAN ORDER THEIR UBER EATS TAKEOUT TO BE DELIVERED VIA
AUTONOMOUS, SIDEWALK-TROTTING ROBOTS.
OR AS FLORIDA'S ALLIGATORS CALL THEM "SEX PARTNERS."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HUGH JACKMAN.
WELCOME BACK! HEY, WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... ( APPLAUSE )
FOLKS, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A TONY, EMMY, AND GRAMMY
AWARD-WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW AS WOLVERINE, JEAN VALJEAN, AND THE
MUSIC MAN. HE NOW STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE
"THE SON." PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," ONE OF THE GREATEST SHOWMEN, HUGH JACKMAN.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> WOW! WOW!
IS ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> I LOVE IT! >> Stephen: SIR...
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN. >> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: SO IS THIS TRUE, IS THIS TRUE-- FOR THOSE WHO AT
ANY TIME GET A CHANCE TO SEE IT, I'M SORRY THEY DIDN'T.
AS I SAID ON THE SHOW LAST YEAR, YOUR MUSIC MAN, YOU AND SUTTON
FOSTER, ONE OF THE MOST JOYFUL EVENINGS IN THE THEATER I HAVE
EVER BEEN TO IN MY LIFE. >> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: REALLY DID THE OLD GIRL PROUD.
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: GAVE THAT SHOW
ENORMOUS LIFE. IT WAS SO FUN TO BE AT.
HOW MANY PERFORMANCES ALL TOGETHER?
I TALKED TO YOU RIGHT BEFORE YOU STARTED.
>> 422. 422.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A LOT, MAN. >> IT WAS WEIRDLY A 40-YEAR
JOURNEY FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS SALESMAN NUMBER TWO IN 1983.
AND THEN ABOUT -- >> Stephen: ON THE TRAIN?
>> ON THE TRAIN. >> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
GOTTA KNOW THE TERRITORY. >> IT WAS TERRIBLE.
I'M NOT GOING TO REENACT IT. IT WAS SO SURREAL YESTERDAY AND
SO POIGNANT, AND IT MEANT A LOT. THERE WERE A LOT OF TEARS.
IT WAS A LONG JOURNEY BECAUSE OF COVID.
I THINK WE STARTED FOUR OR FIVE YEARS AGO IN EARNEST AND HAD THE
BREAK -- >> Stephen: COVID SHUT
EVERYTHING DOWN A COUPLE OF WEEKS BEFORE YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO OPEN? >> WE WERE ABOUT TO START.
AND THEN I SPENT COVID, THREE DAYS A WEEK DANCING AND DANCING
AND SINGING AND KEEPING THINGS GOING.
IT FELT NOT JUST LIKE 442 PERFORMANCES.
IT FELT LIKE A JOURNEY SO MASSIVE.
AND BEING PART OF BROADWAY COMING BACK, THE AUDIENCES I
HAVE TO SAY-- AND I KNOW SOME OF YOU WHO WERE THERE ARE HERE--
WERE INCREDIBLE. WE GOT TO THANK THEM YESTERDAY.
A YEAR AGO, YOU REMEMBER, GOING TO THE THEATER WAS A SCARY
THING. YET, THEY STILL CAME OUT, AND
THEY STILL CAME OUT. AND IT MEANS A LOT FOR ME.
IT WAS A VERY POIGNANT DAY. >> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE TO
POST YOUR ACHIEVEMENT HERE. >> OH, I LIKE THIS!
>> Stephen: MY UNDERSTANDING IS YOU ARE A FAN OF AN ESPRESSO
MARTINI? >> I AM.
YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE THIS. >> Stephen: I AM GOING TO TRY
TO MAKE THIS RIGHT HERE. >> THIS IS IMPRESSIVE.
IS THIS PANDEMIC SKILLS OR IS IT GOING WAY BACK.
>> Stephen: WE DID THE SHOW FROM HOME.
>> RIGHT. COMPLETELY DRUNK.
>> Stephen: WELL, KIND OF. BECAUSE WHO'S-- WHO'S GOING TO
POLICE ME WHILE I DO IT. MY FRIEND,INGS JON STUART,
SHORTLY BEFORE COVID GAVE ME AN ESPRESSO MACHINE, AND I FOUND
THE JOURNEY FROM MY STUDIO-- WHICH WAS MY SPARE BEDROOM,s
TO THE BAR-- WHICH WAS MY KITCHEN-- WAS VERY SHORT.
>> AND ALWAYS OPEN. >> Stephen: AND ALWAYS OPEN.
THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO.
>> I'M SEWER IMPRESSED. >> Stephen: REGULAR OR DECAF?
>> LET'S GO REGULAR, COME ON. >> Stephen: STAY WEAK HERE.
>> LAST NIGHT AFTER A YEAR I WENT HOME TO DEB, AFTER NOT
BEING HOME AT NIGHT, AND WE FINISHED THE SHOW AT 6:30, AND
AT 9:00 I WAS ASLEEP -- >> Stephen: I'M SHOOTING.
>> THAT'S OKAY. SHE WAS LIKE, REALLY, AFTER A
YEAR, YOU GO TO BED AT 9:00. THIS IS TERRIFIC.
GIVE ME THE FULL BANGER. >> Stephen: LET'S SEE WHAT
HAPPENS HERE. WHILE I'M SHAKING THIS UP--
>> THAT'S OKAY. ALL GOOD.
>> Stephen: OH, NICE HANDS. NICE HANDS.
THERE WE GO. HOW COLD DO YOU LIKE IT?
>> COLD, EXTRA COLD. COME ON!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
>> WHOA! >> Stephen: YOU GOT NOTHING ON
ME, TOM CRUISE. >> YES!
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO.
>> THAT IS IMPRESSIVE. I'LL TAKE IT.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: AND DO YOU DO THIS NONSENSE?
>> WHAT IS THIS? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
FANCY. FANCY.
>> Stephen: I'LL POUR MINE QUICKLY.
SORRY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> CHEERS. >> Stephen: HERE'S TO YOU.
>> CHEERS, EVERYBODY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MMM. IS IT JUST ME, BECAUSE I SAW YOU
AFTER YOU STOPPED DOING "WOLVERINE" AND YOU GOT HUMAN
SIZE AGAIN. IS IT-- YOU LOOK A LITTLE BUMPED
UP HERE? ARE YOU COMING UP A LITTLE BIT?
>> WHAT AREEYOU TALKING ABOUT? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ARE YOU, LIKE, EXCITED TO BE BIG AGAIN, OR ARE YOU DREADING IT?
EVEN YOUR LOVELY WIFE DEB SAID IT'S RIDICULOUS HOW BIG HE GOT.
ARE YOU GOING TO GET THAT BIG AGAIN?
>> OF COURSE. COME ON, MAN.
IT'S "WOLVERINE. GLCHMENT WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO?
HOW MUCH-- HOW MANY, LIKE, CHICKEN CARCASSES ARE WE GOING
TO FIND IN YOUR GREEN ROOM AFTER THIS.
>> IT'S 6,000 CALORIES. IT'S ABOUT 6,000 CALORIES A DAY.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO 2,000.
>> I'M FOUR AND A HALF. I WORE A HEARTRATE MONITOR, AND
I SAID I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I'M WORKING WITH HERE BECAUSE I HAVE
TO BULK UP. I BURNED 1,500 CALORIES IN THE
SHOW. I WAS EATING FOUR AND A HALF,000
CALORIES A DAY. AND I'M SORRY FOR THE AUDIENCES
IN THE FRONT ROW. I'M SORRY FOR MY CAST.
I'M SORRY FOR MY WIFE. BECAUSE IT'S NOT PRETTY.
NOW I'M EATING AND TRAINING. >> Stephen: WHAT DOES IT DO TO
YOUR COSTUME DESIGNERS AS THE MUSIC MAN, IF YOU'RE BULKING UP
WHILE PLAYING THIS LEGGY DANCER? >> I SPLIT MY PANTS THREE TIMES.
>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT PREPPING TO BE-- THIS IS FOR
"DEAD POOL THREE." ( APPLAUSE )
AND "WOLVERINE." WERE THERE NINE OTHER
"WOLVERINES?" >> I BELIEVE I'VE BEEN IN NINE,
INCLUDING CAMEOS, I'VE APPEARED NINE TIMES.
>> Stephen: AND LOGAN OF COURSE BEING THE LAST AND THE
GREATEST OF ALL OF THEM. >> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: YEAH, SEVERAL OTHER PEOPLE FEEL THE SAME WAY.
( APPLAUSE ). >> A LITTLE SLOW.
>> Stephen: A HAND FULL OF PEOPLE.
YOU AND RYAN REYNOLDS HAVE GOT A LITTLE ONGOING BEEF OVER THE
YEARS. YOU RECENTLY-- RECENTLY WARNED
THE ACADEMY AGAINST SOMETHING HAVING TO DO WITH A SONG.
>> AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW YEAR, I REALLY WANTED TO PUT OUT
A POST THAT WAS POSITIVE BUT I COULDN'T BECAUSE I FOUND OUT A
SONG FROM "SPIRITED," WHICH IS A GREAT MUSICAL, HE IS AND WILL
ARE IN-- WILL FERIL, SORRY. AND THEY WROTE THE SONG FOR "THE
GREATEST SHOWMAN," WROTE THE SONG "GOOD AFTERNOON," AND
SINGING ON THE SONG WAS RYAN REYNOLDS AND IT WAS SHORT LISTED
FOR AN OSCAR, AND I WAS LIKE, I HAVE TO BE ON A SET FOR MONTHS
WITH THIS MAN. AND IF HE GETS NOMINATED FOR
BEST SONG-- IF HE GETS VALIDATED IN ANY WAY AS A SINGER, I AM
NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY GET THROUGH ONE DAY, LET ALONE THREE
MONTHS. SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I KNOW
THE NOSMINATIONS CLOSE TOMORROW, PLEASE, PLEASE, I LOVE WILL
FARRELL, PLEASE DON'T VALIDATE HIM.
THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND WITH MORE HUGH JACKMAN,
EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK WITH THE STAR OF "THE SON," MR. HUGH JACKMAN.
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCE IN "THE SON."
THIS IS A PREQUEL, IN A SENSE, TO THE 2020 MOVIE "THE FATHER,"
FLORIAN ZELLER WROTE AND DIRECTED.
BEAUTIFUL DIRECTOR. I INTERVIEWED HIM FOR THAT, FOR
"THE FATHER." YOU GOT TO WORK WITH THE-- SIR
ANTHONY HOPKINS IN THIS. I HAVE SPOKEN TO THE MAN ONCE,
AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE. TELL ME WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO DO
SCENES WITH HIM. >> IT CHANGED MY LIFE AS AN
ACTOR, AND WE GOT ON REALLY WELL, AND HE STILL TEXTS ME, AND
EVERY TIME HE TEXTS ME... TEXTING HIM BACK.
"YO, WHAT UP? >> Stephen: HOW IS IT HANGING,
TONY. >> HE'S 83-- SORRY, TONY.
HE'S 83 AND IS A GREAT LESSON FOR ANY UPCOMING ACTOR.
HE HAD ONE DAY ON SET AND THE PRODUCERS APPARENTLY WERE
FREAKING OUT AND HE SAID IT'S GOING TO TAKE THREE DAYS.
AND FLORIAN WAS LIKE, I KNOW, ONE DAY IS ENOUGH.
HE HAS TO BE BACK IN THE HOTEL AFTER 12 HOURS.
HE WOKE UP THAT MORNING SO EXCITED AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING
HE GOT IN A CAB AND CAME OUT TO THE SET WHICH WAS ON LONG
ISLAND. AND HE ARRIVED AT 4:45 IN THE
MORNING ON SET. THERE WAS ONE SECURITY GUY THERE
JUST TO MAKE SURE NO ONE BROKE INTO THE HOUSE IN THE FLIGHT.
AND ANTHONY HOPKINS. SO OFFICIALLY, HE STARTED THE
CLOCK AT 4:45. NOW, NO ONE TURNED UP UNTIL
7:30. HE'S THREE HOURS INTO HIS DAY,
UNBEKNOWNST TO HIM. AND OF COURSE EVERYONE WAS
FREAKING OUT. WE CAME IN TO DO THE SCENE.
AND I'LL NEVER FORGET, THE FIRST DAY THEY SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE A
REHEARSAL?" AND HE SAID, "NO, THAT WON'T BE
NECESSARY." >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE A
REHEARSAL? >> YES, I WANTED TO GO FOR NINE
DAYS. AND THE FIRST TAKE, I'M SITTING
THERE NOT MUCH FURTHER FROM YOU, JUST GOING THIS IS ONE OF THE
GREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE. WE HAD FINISHED SHOOTING HIS
SIDE BY 9:30 IN THE MORNING. HE CAME IN AND EVERY TAKE HE DID
WAS SO GOOD. WE TURNED AROUND, THE CAMERA WAS
ON ME, WE FINISHED ME IN AN HOUR, AND THE SCENE WAS DONE.
AND ANTHONY TURNED TO THE DIRECTOR AND SAID, "CAN I HAVE
ANOTHER GO?" WE TURNED IT ALL THE CAMERAS
AROUND AGAIN AND I SAID TO THE DIRECTOR AGAIN, "IF IT WAS SO
BRILLIANT, WHY DO YOU THINK HE WANTED TO GO AGAIN?"
HE SAID, I JUST THINK HE MISSED ACTING.
BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC HE HADN'T ACTED IN 19 MONTHS.
HE SAID, "I JUST THINK HE WANTED ANOTHER GO."
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER BREAK.
STICK AROUND. MORE HUGH JACKMAN IN JUST A
MOMENT. ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: I HAVE BIG PLANS FOR MY RETIREMENT.
HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK AT THAT. YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS.
THAT'S HUGH JACKMAN, EVERYBODY. THE STORY OF "THE SON" FOCUSES,
IN MANY WAYS, ON MALE MENTAL HE, AND YOU SAID-- AM I RIGHT--
SOMETHING OF A HOT MESS MAKING THIS MOVIE.
I BELIEVE I'M QUOTING YOU DIRECTLY.
YOU SEEM LIKE A FAIRLY WELL-ADJUSTED PERSON.
WHY WERE YOU A HOT MESS DOING THIS MOVIE?
>> SO THE MOVIE, JUST TO GIVE PEOPLE AN IDEA, IT CENTERS
AROUND THE SON, PLAYED BY SAM McGRAW, NICHOLAS, A
17-YEAR-OLD GOING THROUGH A MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS.
I'VE LEFT HIS MOTHER. I HAVE A NEW WIFE AND BABY.
THERE ARE A NUMBER OF FACTORS GOING ON, BUT IT'S UNCLEAR AS TO
WHY HE'S GONE INTO THIS DIVE OF DEPRESSION, AND HE'S REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY STRUGGLING. AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT TO DO.
AND EVERY SCENE IS THIS TERRIFYING FEAR AS A PARENT
WHERE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP.
YOU'RE DOING YOUR BEST. EVERYTHING SEEMS TO NOT WORK.
AND I THINK DIVING INTO THE MATERIAL AS A FATHER, AS AN
ACTOR, AND ALSO I'M STILL A SON, YOU KNOW.
MY FATHER PASSED AWAY DURING FILMING, AND I-- I THINK I WAS
JUST CONFRONTING A LOT OF THINGS AS A PARENT FEARS THAT YOU HAVE,
AND I JUST WASN'T SLEEPING VERY WELL.
I FOUND MYSELF GETTING REALLY-- THINKING A LOT, AND A LOT OF
EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. AND I THINK IT WAS JUST PART OF
GIVING OVER TO THE PART AND PART OF I THINK GIVING OVER TO THE
STORY. AND I JUST SORT OF WENT WITH IT.
BUT THANKFULLY, THANK GOD, MY WIFE WAS WITH ME.
MY KIDS WERE WITH ME. IT WAS COVID.
WE WERE IN A BUBBLE, WHICH WAS AMAZING TO ME AND THEY REALLY
HELPED GET ME THROUGH IT. >> Stephen: I'M SOR SORRY TO
HEAR ABOUT YOUR FATHER. I DID NOT KNOW THAT HE PASSED.
WE HAVE A CLIP FROM THE MOVIE. IT'S YOU AND YOUR SON, IS THERE
ANYTHING WE NEED TO KNOW? >> IT'S NOT LONG AFTER I FOUND
OUT HE HASN'T BEEN GOING TO SCHOOL.
HE'S BEEN LYING TO ME ABOUT IT. I'VE REALLY BEEN TRYING TO HELP
HIM AND FEELING WE'D BEEN MAKING PROGRESS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I
REALIZE THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF LIES, A LOT OF DECEPTION, AND
I'M AT MY WIT'S END, BASICALLY. >> TAKE BACK WHAT YOU JUST SAID,
NICHOLAS. DO YOU HEAR ME.
TAKE BACK WHAT YOU JUST SAID NOW.
>> ASK ( BLEEP ) ME. ASK ( BLEEP ) ME.
HAVEN'T I ALWAYS DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU.
I STAYED WITH YOUR MOTHER FOR YEARS FOR YOUR SAKE.
SO WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS? WHY?
TELL ME WHY! IS IT BECAUSE I FELL IN LOVE
WITH ANOTHER WOMAN? IS THAT MY CRIME!
HOW IS THAT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REINVENT MY LIFE.
IT IS MY LIFE, YOU HEAR ME! IT IS MY LIFE!
I'M SORRY NICHOLAS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
( APPLAUSE ) HARD TO WATCH THAT.
AS A DAD, IT'S HARD TO WATCH THAT.
>> I DID HUG MY KIDS ESPECIALLY TIGHT THAT NIGHT.
>> Stephen: I WAS WONDERING. I CAN IMAGINE PLAYING THIS ROLE
AND SORT OF BEING IN THE-- THE MIDDLE MAN, AS SON AND FATHER AT
THE SAME TIME. I'M-- I'M-- ESPECIALLY AFTER THE
PASSING OF YOUR FATHER. DID IT MAKE YOU THINK
DIFFERENTLY ABOUT YOUR JOB, YOUR ROLE AS A FATHER, AND YOUR
RELATIONSHIP TO YOUR FAMILY? >> SURE.
I THINK I'M A DIFFERENT PARENT NOW BECAUSE OF IT.
I THINK I'M MORE OPEN TO BEING VULNERABLE WITH THEM, SAYING
THINGS LIKE, "I'M NOT SURE." OR, YOU KNOW, REALIZING--
REALIZING THAT SOMETIMES I MAY BE PREOCCUPIED BY SOMETHING
GOING ON WITH ME. LIKE I'M PREOCCUPIED ABOUT THE
OPENING OF "THE MUSIC MAN" FOR EXAMPLE, AND REALIZING THEY MAY
THINK THEY'VE DONE SOMETHING, AND ME NOT COMMUNICATING.
I'M THINKING I DON'T WANT TO BURDEN THEM WITH THAT.
IT DOESN'T HELP. NOW I FIND MYSELF SAYING, "SORRY
IF I FEEL DISTANT, I'M REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT THIS THING.
IF I'VE GONE IN MY HEAD, IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU."
THEY SEEM TO APPRECIATE OF APPRECIATE IT.
I HAVE A 17- AND 22-YEAR-OLD, AND I THINK COMMUNICATING MORE,
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE FATHER, YOU DON'T KNOW HAVE TO KNOW WHAT
TO DO AND WHAT THE BEST THING IS, AND IT'S OKAY TO SAY THAT.
AND OF COURSE THEY USE THAT AND WRAP YOU AROUND THEIR LITTLE
FINGER. >> Stephen: AS WELL THEY
SHISHED. LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
>> THANKS FOR THE DRING. >> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
"THE SON" OPENS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY.
HUGH JACKMAN, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY MIMI WEBB.
SHE IS NOMINATED FOR BEST NEW ARTIST AT THE 2023 BRIT AWARDS.
PERFORMING "RED FLAGS" FROM HER FORTHCOMING ALBUM, "AMELIA,"
MIMI WEBB. ( APPLAUSE )
♪ WELL, THE FIRST TIME WE WENT OUT
♪ YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER SETTLE DOWN
WITHOUT A DOUBT ♪ YOU SAID YOUR EX STILL COMES
AROUND ♪ I FOUND HER THINGS AROUND YOUR
HOUSE WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?
♪ DON'T TAKE A GENIUS, YEAH, I SEE IT
♪ EVEN MY FRIENDS HATE THAT I'M WITH YOU
HATE THAT I'M WITH YOU SHOULD BE LEAVING
♪ I NEED MORE HANDS TO COUNT ALL THE ISSUES
♪ BUT I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH THESE RED FLAGS
♪ I BLAME MYSELF 'CAUSE I KNOW IT'S BAD
♪ BUT I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH THESE RED FLAGS
♪ I SEE THE SIGNS BUT I STILL COME BACK
♪ I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH THEM
♪ WHEN YOU'RE TOUCHING MY BODY, I'M LISTENING TO NOBODY
AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME ♪ I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH
THESE RED FLAGS ♪ I SEE THE SIGNS, BUT I STILL
COME BACK SO I KEEP ON RUNNIN'
♪ LIVING AT YOUR PARENTS' PLACE YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER MOVE AWAY ♪
GUESS THAT'S OKAY OKAY
'CAUSE WITH YOU I LIKE THE TASTE ♪ JUST KEEP THE CHANGE
CHANGE YEAH, I SEE IT
♪ EVEN MY FRIENDS HATE THAT I'M WITH YOU
HATE THAT I'M WITH YOU SHOULD BE LEAVING
♪ I NEED MORE HANDS TO COUNT ALL THE ISSUES
♪ BUT I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH THESE RED FLAGS
♪ I BLAME MYSELF 'CAUSE I KNOW IT'S BAD
♪ BUT I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH THESE RED FLAGS
♪ I SEE THE SIGNS BUT I STILL COME BACK
I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH THEM ♪ WHEN YOU'RE TOUCHING MY BODY,
I'M LISTENING TO NOBODY AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME
♪ I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH THESE RED FLAGS
♪ I SEE THE SIGNS BUT I STILL COME BACK
SO I KEEP ON RUNNIN' ♪ OOH-OOH, OOH-OOH
RED FLAGS ♪ SO I KEEP ON RUNNIN' THROUGH
THESE RED FLAGS ♪ OOH-OOH, OOH-OOH
RED FLAGS SO I KEEP ON RUNNIN'
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MIMI WEBB EVERYBODY.
THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." GOOD NIGHT!