1 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:16,182 ♪ Well, I don't know Why I came here tonight ♪ 2 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:19,853 ♪ Got the feeling That something ain't right ♪ 3 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:24,190 ♪ I'm so scared In case I fall off my chair ♪ 4 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:28,445 ♪ And I'm wondering How I'll get down the stairs ♪ 5 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:33,199 ♪ And there's clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right, here I am ♪ 6 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,493 ♪ Stuck in the middle with you ♪ 7 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,748 ♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪ 8 00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,839 [pleasant music playing] 9 00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:49,883 [Frankie] You outdid yourself, Grace. 10 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:54,220 That tofu parmigiana was spectacular. 11 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,182 -What is your secret? -Chicken. 12 00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,642 Thank you for a wonderful dinner. 13 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,854 After you saved us from the wrath of your insurance company, 14 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,564 it's the least we could do. 15 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:07,692 I won't feel guilty taking the last few bites. 16 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,779 Oh, no, no, no, I was saving that for the cats. 17 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:14,115 -We don't have cats. -We will if I leave this outside. 18 00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,242 Can I borrow your charger, Grace? 19 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,703 Your phone is at 87%. 20 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,246 What's wrong with my charger? 21 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,082 My charger is your charger. 22 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,709 Oh. Can I use it after Sol's done? 23 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:25,752 [Robert] Incoming! 24 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:29,589 [Grace] Well... 25 00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:33,176 I don't wanna seem ungrateful, 26 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,763 but don't you think you should wash the casserole dish? 27 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,390 You always re-washed the dishes when I washed them, 28 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,893 so I figured I'd just skip that step. 29 00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,521 Aren't you gays supposed to be a tidy bunch? 30 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,481 When someone makes a thank-you meal, 31 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,234 it seems like the "thank you" should include cleaning up. 32 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:52,570 We did clean up. This is a whole new shebang. 33 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,572 Fine. I'll wash it. 34 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,074 Oh, well, thank you. 35 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:01,955 Just gonna let it soak. 36 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,967 Oh, that motherfucker. 37 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:17,262 He slid another plate under the casserole dish. 38 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:20,557 -[exclaims] Be strong. -One squirt. 39 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,184 -Give me that. -No. That's how it starts. 40 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,727 With just a squirt. 41 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,896 Before you know it, another squirt. 42 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,692 Then here a squirt, there a squirt, everywhere a squirt-squirt. 43 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,862 -You sound like a dirty nursery rhyme. -Hmm. 44 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,616 Oh, my God, Grace. Don't panic. [gasps] 45 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,286 But you're old. Your roots are showing. 46 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:42,287 Yeah, Frankie. 47 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:45,081 That's what happens when you stop dyeing your hair. 48 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,250 How Frankie Bergstein of you. 49 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,419 You are Grace Hanson, are you not? 50 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,004 That's exactly the point. 51 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,589 This is who I really am. 52 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:53,923 Since when? 53 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:58,344 Since I stopped letting the color of my hair dictate how young or old I feel. 54 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,180 So no more facelifts either? 55 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,056 TBD. 56 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,685 Oh, God. 57 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:11,566 My phone is at 4%. That inconsiderate Muppet unplugged it. 58 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:13,610 Let's see if he washes that. 59 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,449 -So where are you going? -To my happy place. 60 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,366 Prison. 61 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,786 You are the only person I know who escapes into prison. 62 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,123 I love prison. It's totally changed my relationship with Nick. 63 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,834 He's always happy to see me, and if he starts to annoy me, 64 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:33,129 I just yell, "Guard!" and they whisk him away. 65 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,174 I'm wondering, maybe that would work for Robert and Sol. 66 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,258 Guard! 67 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,221 I know, Dad. 68 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:42,680 It sucks, Dad. 69 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:47,435 Speak to you about it in 20 minutes when you call again, Dad. 70 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,480 Who you talking to? 71 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:55,193 He calls at 20 and 40 past the hour to complain about my mother. 72 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,195 Then she calls, and by the time she's done, 73 00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,656 -it's time for him to call. -You know, 74 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,367 the doctor says less stress means less eczema. 75 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:06,412 -You should stop answering your phone. -I know, I know. 76 00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:08,748 I know. 77 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,543 We'll surprise them with a Wiffle Waffle brunch. 78 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,544 Wiffle Waffle what? 79 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:16,506 Wiffle Waffle brunch is an ancient Bergstein-Hanson tradition 80 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,341 dating back to the late '90s. 81 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,427 Your family has more brunches than any family in history. 82 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,763 Wiffle Waffle brunch is no ordinary brunch. 83 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,641 Everybody gets jacked up on syrup, they'll remember how much 84 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,893 they love each other, all beefs get squashed, 85 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,728 everybody stops calling Bud. 86 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,355 [cell phone buzzing] 87 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,690 [both groan] 88 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:37,151 Hi, Mom. 89 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:39,779 I know, Mom. 90 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,365 It sucks, Mom. 91 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,285 That last house. Ooh! 92 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,411 That was the one. 93 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,705 Like the house from Up, right? 94 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:52,250 And that retro avocado kitchen and picket fence 95 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,627 and [chuckles] yellow front door? 96 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,088 Yellow is for happy people. 97 00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,716 And two schools right in the neighborhood. 98 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,467 You know what that means, right? 99 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,469 -Sex offenders. -Families. 100 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:06,472 Come on, Brianna. Look, I love that house. 101 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,516 You've been rejecting everything. 102 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:11,144 -Are we seriously looking for a house? -Yes. 103 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:15,148 I just don't wanna live in a place where you have neighbors 104 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:19,652 and sidewalks and mailmen and... 105 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,112 neighbors. 106 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,363 Like a bunker? 107 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,032 That sounds good, right? 108 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,074 No. 109 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,453 I like talking to Fred. [chuckles] 110 00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,580 -Who the hell is Fred? -He's our mailman. 111 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,374 -The guy in shorts and the safari hat? -Oh, God. 112 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,460 I don't know how to explain this, 113 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:39,505 but wherever we move to, our mail's gonna be delivered by someone. 114 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,465 So... 115 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,468 will you please go back to that house after brunch 116 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,053 and give it another look? 117 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,848 -Fine. -Thank you. 118 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,851 If you tell Fred to put on some pants. 119 00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:55,772 [TV beeping] 120 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,649 What's happening? What's happening? 121 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,860 Where are all my Ray Donovans? 122 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,780 You were out of storage space, so I cleaned them up. 123 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,991 You don't do the cleaning up, that's Ray's job! 124 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,452 And stop eating my Abba-Zabas. 125 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:10,703 You have 8 million boxes. 126 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:14,624 If you want some, put on a costume and see me October 31st. 127 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:15,958 [Frankie gasps] 128 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,337 No, no, no! Stop that dog! 129 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,881 -[Carl growling] -Who's my strong, little boy? 130 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:24,509 That's my Jerry Garcia sneaker! 131 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,929 -Frankie, I'm back from the slammer. -[Sol exclaims] 132 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,889 Anhalten! 133 00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:33,559 Stick your finger up his butt. His mouth will release! 134 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:36,562 What else might release is what I'm worried about. 135 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:41,609 Robert, why is your minor-league theater trinket where my ship should be? 136 00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:46,114 Grace, the Tappy is one of the theater's most coveted awards. 137 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,574 -It's a painted shoe. -You're just jealous. 138 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,742 What have you ever won? 139 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,077 This house. 140 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,204 -Do something! -Does Carl want a treat? 141 00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:55,289 -Robert does. -[Frankie] Give him your shoe. 142 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,624 [Grace] This should work. 143 00:06:56,707 --> 00:07:00,378 -These are my best Huaraches. -For God's sake, let him have this. 144 00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:01,921 [Robert] Grace, no! 145 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,464 -Surprise! -Fetch! 146 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,299 No! My Tappy! 147 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,051 -[Bud] What's that? -[Allison] What the hell? 148 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,594 [Robert] Get back here! 149 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,346 [Brianna] Guys, what's going on? 150 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,181 What are you doing here? 151 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,349 We brought brunch! 152 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,309 Leave it in the kitchen on your way out. 153 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,728 Bud, okay, let's listen to your mother. 154 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:21,065 I listen to her complain all day. That's why we're here. 155 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,692 Today is all about family. 156 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,528 [Sol] Hey, the butt thing worked! 157 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:34,454 Would anyone mind if I wash this dish or make a call? 158 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:37,457 No. Mom told me not to let anyone touch that dish 159 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,959 -or she'll cast a spell on you. -She's powerful too. 160 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,294 She turned me into a bitch. 161 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:43,921 Since I'm the newcomer, what's the oral history 162 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,507 -on a Wiffle Waffle brunch? -Good question. 163 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:49,218 -And thanks for caring. -Stop caring. 164 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,890 The tradition started when we were kids. We'd, uh, have waffles together, 165 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,142 and then we'd all play wiffle ball on the beach. 166 00:07:56,225 --> 00:08:00,938 But in the third inning of the first game, my mom accidentally hit their mom 167 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,607 over the head with the wiffle bat. 168 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,943 -It was a disaster. -Far from it. 169 00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,696 The bat was light, and Mom's turban was thick. 170 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,157 So we're not playing wiffle ball? 171 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,993 No, Wiffle Waffle isn't about the wiffle anymore, Barry. 172 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,286 Why'd I bring my cleats? 173 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:18,539 The important thing is, you brought your enthusiasm. 174 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,333 We're gonna need it. 175 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:24,921 Because today is about being there for one another. 176 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,381 And everyone getting off my back. 177 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,801 I'm confused. Why did the families always have brunch if Grace and Frankie 178 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,721 -couldn't stand each other? -The dads wanted us to be together 179 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,015 at least one Sunday a month. So after waffles, 180 00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:38,267 they would go and work on their model airplanes. 181 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,519 I didn't know that. 182 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,437 -Did you ever work on it with them? -No. 183 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,690 In fact, I never even saw a model airplane. 184 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:45,858 They were boning. 185 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,861 Do I have to explain everything? 186 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,823 Are there even waffles? 187 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,454 [door opens, then closes] 188 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,372 [Jessica] Hi. 189 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:00,998 -Hey, Dad. -[Sol] There she is. 190 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,750 My new favorite gal. 191 00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,212 With one of my sons. 192 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:08,047 Aw, your favorite son. 193 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,174 My favorite white son. 194 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,842 Hey, Coyote. 195 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,511 Hey, Bud's ex. 196 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,972 Oh. Hey, Rihanna. 197 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,432 Well done. 198 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,934 Game recognizes game. 199 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,895 So tell me, tell me: Did you get the house? 200 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,606 -What house? -Doesn't matter. We lost it. 201 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,774 It was perfect. 202 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:32,780 This little cottage with this cute stone walkway and this picket fence. 203 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,909 -Sorry. I-- -Better get him some tissues 204 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,579 -before he uses a waffle. -I think I used all the tissues 205 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,998 to clean my finger, but I'll check. 206 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:46,794 Hey, so, bummer, big bums about the house. 207 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:52,925 But you know what they say, when one door closes, a yellow door opens. 208 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,594 I don't think that's the saying. 209 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,970 No, she's right. 210 00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:58,347 -Just look. -[gasps] 211 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,726 Wow, it's adorable. 212 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,437 -Are you guys making an offer? -I wish. 213 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,689 -Barry hates it. -What? Why? 214 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,734 -It's like the house from Up. -That's what I said. 215 00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,736 It even has a picket fence. 216 00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,738 You know Barry. He hates fences. 217 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,531 Anyhoo. 218 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,283 I'll text you the listing. 219 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,660 But don't bring it up at brunch. 220 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:25,082 If I keep talking about it, Coyote's not gonna be the only one crying. 221 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,336 [mellow music playing] 222 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,261 I'm glad we're all here. 223 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:40,014 I'm bummed that Mallory didn't wanna Skype in 224 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,265 from San Francisco, but-- 225 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,309 I didn't know being Skyped in was an option. 226 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:44,602 Here we are. 227 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:50,316 So our first Wiffle Waffle brunch since our last Wiffle Waffle brunch. 228 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,319 Who wants to share their favorite Wiffle Waffle memory? 229 00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,239 This one's my favorite. So far. 230 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:01,535 Come on, everybody, memories! Don't be shy. 231 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:02,620 Mom? 232 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,497 Nothing comes to mind. 233 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,582 -Mom, please? -Fine. 234 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,919 I remember when Robert choked on a kiwi 235 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,130 and Grace had to Heimlich him by throwing him over a chair. 236 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,382 And broke my rib. 237 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,925 And broke my chair. 238 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,843 Classic. 239 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,221 -Ooh, I've got a funny one. -[all] No, you don't. 240 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:21,389 No, you don't. 241 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,556 Sure I do. 242 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,976 Remember that time that that seagull went after Dad's eyebrows? 243 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,645 [laughs] That was funny. 244 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,773 -See, that's a chuckle from Grace. -Grace always laughs at my pain. 245 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:31,774 [Bud chuckles] 246 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:32,900 Who else? 247 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,611 Okay, me again. 248 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,156 Ooh. Yes, remember when Coyote was super on drugs 249 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,117 and put his hands in the waffle batter? 250 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,201 [all chuckle] 251 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,787 Remember the time Coyote was super on drugs 252 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,997 and went to the wrong house and ate their waffles? 253 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,541 [all laughing] 254 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,043 Remember the time that the whale exploded 255 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,754 and Coyote was covered in blubber bits? 256 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,550 I don't remember any of that. 257 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,468 Probably 'cause you were on drugs. 258 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,012 -I remember when Grace killed Bud's-- -Ah! Robert. 259 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,434 --spirit. [chuckles] 260 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,979 -Isn't that every brunch? -[Bud] I have an un-killable spirit. 261 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,772 -Ask Allison. -He's very good in bed. 262 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:12,857 Take that, Grace. 263 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:16,736 Wait. Can we go back to the "Mom killed something" story? 264 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,947 -I'm killing this conversation right now. -You had to be there. 265 00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,283 No fair. Uh-uh. You already started. 266 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:23,659 Yeah, tell us. 267 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,955 It has been a long time, 268 00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,332 and there is a statute of limitations, right? 269 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,333 Oh, dear God. 270 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,503 I am leaning in. 271 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,506 It must have been 25 years ago. 272 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,133 It was nothing, really. 273 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,260 -Just a little incident. -Accident. 274 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:42,928 A little accident. 275 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:48,601 It all started when we got to the beach house that day 276 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:52,354 and Grace stepped in a little of Bud's Bunny's poop. 277 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,106 [laughs] 278 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:55,816 It was no big deal. 279 00:12:56,442 --> 00:13:03,115 You stupid, fucking, disgusting, dirty, poop-everywhere rabbit! 280 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,450 [exclaims] 281 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:07,578 [soft thud] 282 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:10,623 Robert! Rob-- Robert! 283 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,127 Dear Lord, Grace. 284 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,296 What have you done? 285 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,715 You killed Bud's Bunny? 286 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,801 I yelled at it a little... 287 00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:24,136 -bit. -You yelled it to death. 288 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,763 Can you yell something to death? 289 00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:26,889 I don't think so. 290 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,016 -My dad's still alive. -[Barry] No, it's a real thing. 291 00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,476 I lost a bird that way. 292 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,853 Miss you, Chick Jagger. 293 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,606 You are a murderer, Grace. 294 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,567 -Guard! -Your hands aren't clean either. 295 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,196 You lied to me about what happened. 296 00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:45,241 We couldn't find the bunny. We had to tell you something. 297 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:49,912 Bud, you should also know, you're not their biological child. 298 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:54,375 You told me my prowess as a magician made that bunny disappear. 299 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,960 I made the bunny disappear. 300 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,802 No body, no conviction. 301 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:08,264 -What'd you do with--? -Let's just say, it's good it's high tide. 302 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,893 We looked for that poor bunny all day. 303 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,896 -And you helped us. -I had to commit. 304 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:16,856 I'm an actor. 305 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,983 Yeah, you're a regular Jessica Chastain. 306 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:23,571 And you, you stood there and watched us lie to our son. 307 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,614 That's not on us. That's on you. 308 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,118 We never told you to make your son think he was David Copperfield. 309 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:33,789 He needed something to fill the void after he got cut from cheer squad. 310 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,791 You try being the bottom of the pyramid. 311 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:40,004 I can't believe, after all these years, you've never owned up to it. 312 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:43,007 In my defense, I didn't want to. 313 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,510 Is this the togetherness you were longing for? 314 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,805 Wait. When we got back to the beach house that day, 315 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,308 you two weren't even here yet. 316 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,644 -How was that possible? -Let it go, Sol. 317 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,147 It's not like it was the cover-up of the century. 318 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:02,693 What we need here is the cover-up of the century. 319 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,363 Oh, I know. 320 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,948 Give me the rabbit poop. 321 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:08,866 What? 322 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,494 What are you doing? I just cleaned that. 323 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,164 I'm making it look like Bud's Bunny made a run for it. 324 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,124 In that case, my heart thanks you 325 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,877 for leaving a trail of shit through my house, 326 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,712 but my mouth refuses to. 327 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,426 Okay, we gotta hightail it out of here before they get back. 328 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,637 -Yeah. -We need to split up and rendezvous 329 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,597 at Starbucks to get our story straight. 330 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,308 -We took one car. -You walk. 331 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,688 So you stayed at Starbucks until you were sure we were back 332 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,148 at the beach house. 333 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:44,902 And then you came in after us so you'd look innocent. 334 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:48,197 -Genius, right? -This is worse than Watergate. 335 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,490 The premeditation. 336 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:52,493 -The planning. -You didn't even bring us coffee. 337 00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:58,123 -I've got to say, I am shocked to my core. -Are family brunches always like this? 338 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,000 It's been my experience, yes. 339 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,127 -Stop scratching. -I can't. 340 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,005 I told every girl I met up until the age of 25 341 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,466 that I really made a rabbit disappear. 342 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,844 Actually, you were 33 when you told me. 343 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,472 This lie changed the course of my whole life. 344 00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:16,850 I only went to magic camp because I thought I had 345 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,228 extraordinary talent. But my heart wasn't in it. 346 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:22,231 I wanted to go to the stand-up comedy camp like the cool kids. 347 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,942 On the bright side, you became a successful divorce lawyer. 348 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:27,903 Great. Now I make people cry instead of laugh. 349 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,196 I laugh at you. 350 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:33,200 My way less funny friend, John Mulaney, went to that stand-up camp, 351 00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,536 -and look where he is now. -I'm sorry. 352 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,037 What we did was wrong. 353 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,206 And there's no excuse. 354 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:41,542 But I do have an excuse. 355 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,837 Robert and I only had one day to enjoy the beach house. 356 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,964 Why would you have only one day? 357 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:51,218 We had to clear out so you could have your big M'Challah celebration. 358 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:56,223 And we did not wanna ruin your M'Challah. Am I still pronouncing it wrong? 359 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,350 -It's a little more phlegmy. -M'Challah. 360 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:00,602 Yeah. 361 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,604 [chuckles] I'm sorry. What's M'Challah? 362 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,314 Uh, it's, uh... 363 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:09,111 -It's a Jewish holiday. -I'm Jewish. I've never heard of it. 364 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:13,824 It's a lesser-known holiday that moves around the Jewish calendar. 365 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:16,618 I was so jealous of Bud and Coyote. It always seemed to fall 366 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,997 -on Presidential Fitness Day at school. -It also landed when we had to do 367 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,250 our quarterly taxes. And once when we got that audit. 368 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:26,754 It's weird 'cause M'Challah always landed on my birthday. 369 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,674 I just Googled it. The only thing that comes up is a bar in Puerto Rico. 370 00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,597 Oh, my God. You made it up. 371 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:41,393 You made up a holiday to get out of doing stuff with us for years. 372 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,229 No, that does not sound like us. 373 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,441 Do you know how many judges and opposing lawyers 374 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,819 -I wished a "happy M'Challah"? -I'm gonna go wash that casserole dish. 375 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:51,945 Sit down. 376 00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:55,949 Hold on. Are you telling me M'Challah isn't real? 377 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,160 -It's the celebration of bread! -[Coyote] Yeah. 378 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:02,372 We prayed, lit candles, then broke fast with M'Challah challah. 379 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,417 Okay, fine. We made it up. 380 00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:09,671 -But all families make up holidays. -No families make up holidays. 381 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,298 -Yes, they do. -No, they don't. 382 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:15,844 This is insane. I refused to take the bar exam because it fell on M'Challah. 383 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,805 Let's be honest. You weren't ready. 384 00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:20,307 Is this why I was kicked out of Hebrew school? 385 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:23,727 -Because I insisted there was M'Challah? -Hebrew school, yes. 386 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,187 Third grade, no. 387 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,817 Well, well, well. 388 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:33,821 -Isn't this an interesting turn of events? -[Sol] Oh, no. 389 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,615 Our thing isn't nearly as bad as your thing. 390 00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:40,869 Oh, my penis! My penis! My penis! 391 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,788 His thing seems way worse than your things. 392 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,748 -Are you okay? -Does he seem okay? 393 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:48,210 -His penis is bothering him. -Forget me, you guys keep having fun. 394 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,463 -[groans] -We're going home. Goodbye, everyone. 395 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,924 [Bud groans] I gotta go. 396 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,802 Why can't you get a pain in your penis so I can leave? 397 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,679 I have a hemorrhoid. Want me to announce that? 398 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,889 -[cell phone chimes] -Guess what. The realtor texted us. 399 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,433 We can look at that house with the yellow door. 400 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,060 -Unless you wanna stay. -Nope. I'm good. 401 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,234 You told them about the house? 402 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:13,861 Did I? 403 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,119 Men, am I right? [chuckles] 404 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,543 [tense music playing] 405 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:41,638 Don't suppose now is a good time to talk about who's cleaning up? 406 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,973 [scoffs] 407 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:53,192 I know you're pissed, but you just sped through a yellow light. 408 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,819 -Like you sped through a yellow door. -I'm sorry. 409 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,780 I shouldn't have gone behind your back. I just hated that house. 410 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,657 You promised me we'd go back! 411 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:01,867 We still can. 412 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,161 I know that when you say you're open, 413 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,163 you mean you're not really open. 414 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,249 Hello, I'm Brianna. 415 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,213 Look... 416 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,842 I'm sorry. I'm just really attached to my house. 417 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:24,097 I always thought one day, God willing, the authorities would find my body there. 418 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:28,352 Hello, I'm Barry, and don't I deserve to be found dead in a place of my own too? 419 00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:33,941 But I like modern, and you like anything that's not good. 420 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:38,779 So we need to land somewhere between "anything that's not good" and modern. 421 00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:41,156 Okay. I can compromise. 422 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,451 You do realize if you compromise, you're only gonna get 95% 423 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:45,661 of what you want, right? 424 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,870 Yes. 425 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,707 And I am okay with that. 426 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,335 Look... 427 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,590 how about you pick the neighborhood and I pick the house? 428 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:00,425 That seems fair. 429 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:01,927 Deal. 430 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,554 Obviously, it depends on the neighborhood. 431 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,098 Obviously. 432 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,810 [groaning] 433 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,145 Tell the doctor how much it hurts. 434 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:15,649 Oh, she knows. She heard you scream your dick is on fire. 435 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:17,734 Uh-huh. 436 00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:19,152 Huh. 437 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,280 Huh. 438 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,908 Okay. Well, thank you. 439 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:29,746 Good news. The picture really helped. She's seen this before. 440 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,373 And? 441 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:34,710 Well, she can't say this legally because you have to come in, 442 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:39,881 but she's pretty sure that your eczema is strangling your penis. 443 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:44,177 -And where is the good news? -It's totally fixable. 444 00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,680 -So what? I need an antibiotic? -Not necessary. 445 00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:48,390 -A soothing ointment? -No. 446 00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:49,808 What is the plan here? 447 00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,519 She thinks you're gonna need a circumcision. 448 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,231 I think I'm gonna need a second opinion. 449 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:04,823 Killing our bunny and throwing its body in the ocean, who does that? 450 00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:07,367 The people we live with and owls. 451 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,244 [Grace] Big deal. 452 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,456 We accidentally killed a rabbit once. 453 00:22:12,539 --> 00:22:16,251 They repeatedly celebrated a fake holiday to stay away from us. 454 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,544 M'Challah. 455 00:22:17,627 --> 00:22:18,795 As in the bread? 456 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:23,300 Like making up a Christian holiday called "Christmistletoe." 457 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,553 They methodically engineered a cover-up. 458 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:30,432 She killed an animal with her bare voice. 459 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:34,311 You know how you always used to say she was Cruella de Vil? 460 00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:35,312 This is the proof. 461 00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:39,316 It's not like she was gonna make a coat out of the bunny. 462 00:22:39,399 --> 00:22:40,901 How do you know? 463 00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:42,402 We never found a body. 464 00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:44,988 She's not the devil, Sol. 465 00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:46,114 Give her a break. 466 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,325 Are you forgetting how awful she was to you? 467 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:50,452 No. 468 00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:56,333 But I did make up a holiday and lie to my children about it just to avoid her. 469 00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:58,585 I had plenty of things I wanted to get out of. 470 00:22:58,668 --> 00:23:00,587 I wish I'd thought of M'Challah. 471 00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:01,880 [Robert chuckles] 472 00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:04,299 You hated Frankie so much, I'm surprised you didn't. 473 00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:07,886 -I was pretty awful to her. -You weren't so great to me either. 474 00:23:07,969 --> 00:23:09,596 But she didn't deserve it. 475 00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:11,848 [sighs] If Grace had known what I did, 476 00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:14,017 do you think we ever would have become friends? 477 00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,812 If Frankie knew back then what I had done, 478 00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:19,022 do you think we ever would have become friends? 479 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:22,359 I don't think there's anything that could have stopped you two... 480 00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:23,568 From becoming friends. 481 00:23:26,696 --> 00:23:27,531 I should go... 482 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:29,324 Apologize to her. 483 00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:33,412 ...get another martini, then apologize to her. 484 00:23:44,631 --> 00:23:47,384 I know how thirsty you get when you're high. 485 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,887 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 486 00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:56,476 All right, I have to ask. 487 00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:59,521 How could you not tell me for all those years? 488 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:04,651 Sol, I was lying to Grace about so many other things 489 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:06,987 that were so much worse, like us. 490 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:10,407 I felt I had to be loyal to her this one time. 491 00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:11,366 Yeah, I get it. 492 00:24:13,368 --> 00:24:17,914 I kept lying about M'Challah for Frankie because I felt guilty about us too. 493 00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:21,710 Are we okay? 494 00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:23,378 [tender music playing] 495 00:24:24,087 --> 00:24:27,632 -Except for how dry my mouth is... -Oh. 496 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:29,551 ...we're fine. 497 00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:31,511 Hey... 498 00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:34,222 you know what we should do? 499 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:35,140 What? 500 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:40,145 Grace. 501 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,314 Oh. 502 00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:44,149 I'm so sorry. 503 00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:46,026 Me too. 504 00:24:46,109 --> 00:24:50,489 What happened with Bud's Bunny would never, ever, happen again. 505 00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:53,783 I'm not carrying around the rabbit-killing, 506 00:24:53,867 --> 00:24:58,872 mad-at-the-world anger anymore because of you. 507 00:24:59,873 --> 00:25:03,001 You've made me a better, more delightful person. 508 00:25:03,084 --> 00:25:05,086 Delightful may be pushing it. 509 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:07,547 [both chuckle] 510 00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:11,134 And I want you to know that I would never make up a holiday 511 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:12,844 to stay away from you now. 512 00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:15,263 But I would make one up to be with you. 513 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,098 Come here. 514 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,350 [Frankie] Oh! 515 00:25:19,017 --> 00:25:20,227 Oh, Grace. 516 00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:22,896 What do you think is going on with my son's penis? 517 00:25:22,979 --> 00:25:25,106 I'm trying not to think about it. 518 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:30,904 The lengths we go to to get you to wash a dish. 519 00:25:30,987 --> 00:25:33,823 You'll be happy to know I also rinsed off my phone. 520 00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:34,991 It's at 4%. 521 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,160 Can I borrow your charger? 522 00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:39,246 Voilà. 523 00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:41,873 Oh, my God. 524 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,709 You--? You call that clean? 525 00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,044 Jesus. 526 00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:48,129 ["Feelin' Alright" playing] 527 00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:51,550 ♪ You feelin' alright ♪ 528 00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:57,097 ♪ I'm not feelin' too good myself ♪ 529 00:25:59,432 --> 00:26:00,517 ♪ Yes, sir ♪ 530 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,435 ♪ You feelin' alright ♪ 531 00:26:05,146 --> 00:26:08,024 ♪ I'm not feelin' that good myself ♪ 532 00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:16,825 ♪ Well, boy, you sure took me For one big ride ♪ 533 00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:21,955 ♪ And even now I sit and I wonder why ♪ 534 00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:27,460 ♪ That when I think of you I start myself to cry ♪ 535 00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:32,507 ♪ I just can't waste my time I must keep dry ♪ 536 00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:38,179 ♪ Gotta stop believin' in all your lies ♪