1 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:09,217 [Grace Potter's "Stuck In The Middle" playing] 2 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:16,057 ♪ Well, I don't know Why I came here tonight ♪ 3 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,853 ♪ Got the feelin' That somethin' ain't right ♪ 4 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:24,107 ♪ I'm so scared In case I fall off my chair ♪ 5 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:28,153 ♪ And I'm wondering How I'll get down the stairs ♪ 6 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:32,032 ♪ And there's clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right ♪ 7 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:35,493 ♪ Here I am Stuck in the middle with you ♪ 8 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,539 ♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪ 9 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:43,626 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 10 00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,005 [CPAP machine humming] 11 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,177 [cell phone chimes] 12 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,242 [turns machine off] 13 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,187 You look like you had a fun evening. 14 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,022 [slight chuckle] 15 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,359 I have mints and bottled water back there in case you want to freshen up. 16 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,112 - Thanks. - [Robert] Bob H is the name. 17 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:55,031 The open road, the midnight run, that's my business. 18 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:59,160 You're probably wondering why a retired divorce attorney 19 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,079 is working as a Lyft driver. 20 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,206 I wasn't. 21 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,291 Well, Michelle D... 22 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,878 I recently spent some money that I probably shouldn't have 23 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,340 without asking my husband. So here I am, moonlighting... 24 00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:15,593 Could we maybe please just, like, listen to some music or something? 25 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,428 - Loud and clear. - Thanks. 26 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:22,433 ♪ Over in Killarney ♪ 27 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,729 ♪ Many years ago ♪ 28 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,982 ♪ Me mother sang ♪ 29 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:30,900 [Joan-Margaret] Where is Frankie? 30 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,696 How could she be late to a meeting in her own house? 31 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,656 Are you new here? 32 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,827 Her usual excuse is there was too much traffic on the stairs. 33 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,663 Doesn't she know about Waze? 34 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,623 Well, she-she's just acting out, 35 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:49,252 'cause she thinks that I'm pushing her too hard to prepare for Shark Tank. 36 00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:54,048 My work visa is riding on this company's success. 37 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,384 So you two better pull this off 38 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:59,679 or be prepared to pay for my extreme plastic surgery. 39 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:02,891 Don't worry. We're not gonna repeat the disaster of our audition. 40 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:06,936 I refuse to be humiliated in front of millions of people. 41 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,688 [Frankie] Get a load of this! 42 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,733 Bah-bum! 43 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,945 [exhales] Sorry I'm late. 44 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,406 Ah, but the stairs were a nightmare. 45 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,325 The good news is 46 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:23,912 I've finished our costumes for Shark Tank. 47 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:26,164 - [Grace] No. - [exhales] 48 00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:28,416 - I've got another one for you. - No. 49 00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,043 It has a popped collar... 50 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,378 No. We are not wearing capes. 51 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:37,258 We're not vampires, or superheroes, or magicians. 52 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,427 Thanks for rubbing that in. 53 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,055 Look, Shark Tank is a really big deal. 54 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,181 [Frankie] Exactly. 55 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,725 That's why we should stand out. 56 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:49,312 [exhales] Just be happy we're not going with my first choice. 57 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,940 - Oh, I don't even want to think about... - Fire! 58 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,901 [stammers] We're not gonna look like a couple of crazy old ladies 59 00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:56,319 on national television. 60 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:59,322 That's why they told us to leave the dummy home this time. 61 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:02,158 - You think there's any wiggle room there? - No! 62 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,369 No dummy, no cape... 63 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,204 no scatting. 64 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,415 - So, no toilet dance? - [slight chuckle] 65 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,669 I have just all the luck, right? To be going on national television 66 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,504 with somebody who can't be embarrassed. 67 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,048 It's my superpower, Grace. 68 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:21,803 When they see the miracle of our toilet, no one will be laughing at us. 69 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:23,972 Oohing and aahing, yes. 70 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,932 But laughing, no. 71 00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,767 Where is the miracle toilet? 72 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,435 It's still in your car, right? 73 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,687 No. 74 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,355 [Frankie] It has to be. 75 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:34,816 We had it coming back from the casino. 76 00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,985 I remember seeing it before we got the... 77 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,361 Flat tire. 78 00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:44,574 [gasps] 79 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,911 Get that toilet! 80 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:52,000 So, first off, I want to welcome you to the Trust Us family. 81 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,920 Welcome to whatever this is. 82 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,381 [slight chuckle] There's no reason to be nervous. 83 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,466 I wasn't until you just said that. 84 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,636 Well, he's a CPA, and they frighten easily. 85 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,557 It's Trust Us policy to have all interoffice relationships registered. 86 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,518 Just to make sure everything's consensual 87 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,979 - and to have our butts covered. - Uh, okay. Okay. 88 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,607 This is already a very different work environment 89 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,234 than the one I cultivated. 90 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,236 Okay. Uh, all right. 91 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,991 Are you two, uh, dating, engaged, married, or in a registered domestic partnership? 92 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,828 - Ooh. [exhales] - I guess... dating. 93 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:29,954 Dating? 94 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,122 That's a... 95 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,124 No, don't check that. 96 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:36,294 It's a little casual for someone who held my hand 97 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:38,546 through the This Is Us season finale. 98 00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:39,922 He's just such a good dad. 99 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,592 We're basically a married couple. 100 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,594 [scoffs] We are? 101 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,597 Uh, do you have a joint bank account? Split rent? 102 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,848 Well, I pay the rent to her. 103 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:52,060 Brianna owns the house and likes to keep the money separate. 104 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,896 Yeah. He still buys Pogs, and I will not support it. 105 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:58,066 I just got a Battletoads slammer, so... 106 00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:01,694 I'm guessing you don't have any dependents. 107 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,488 Excuse me. We have a dog. 108 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,365 And friends of mine took my sperm. 109 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,617 I'm putting "no." 110 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:11,662 So, uh, Barry, uh, how would you define your relationship? 111 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:16,751 I'd say we're two unwed people who live together 112 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:20,797 and aren't allowed to eat each other's leftovers. 113 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,591 So I'll put "roommates." 114 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:25,968 - Okay. - What? 115 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:29,222 I think we're all set. [chuckles] 116 00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,390 Wait. What? No. 117 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,683 - Can I please see what you wrote down? - [woman] Uh... 118 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,977 Is that a question mark after "consensual"? 119 00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,274 [tires squeal] 120 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,902 Can you not drive like a maniac? 121 00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,279 Can you stop trying to steer? 122 00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,574 How could we let this happen? 123 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,201 Well, not to play the blame game, 124 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:55,248 but I did have to pick Brianna up more than once from field hockey practice 125 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,875 because someone kept forgetting her. 126 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,710 Brianna played field hockey? 127 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,463 Wait, wait, this is the spot! I'm positive! 128 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,923 Stop, stop! 129 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,676 - [tires squeal] - [Frankie exhales] 130 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,304 It's not it! Go on. Keep going. 131 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:16,185 I just think that Jessica and I are ready for the next step. 132 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,646 I'm-I'm gonna ask her to move in together. 133 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,816 And you're sure you're not rushing into things? 134 00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:23,276 When have I ever done that? 135 00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,278 When you moved to LA to be with Nadia 136 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:29,157 and you forgot to tell Nadia that you were moving to LA to be with Nadia. 137 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,576 Yeah, okay. All right. When else? 138 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,661 What about that girl Veronica? 139 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:37,373 Uh, Veronique was technically a catfish. 140 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,542 And things with Jessica and I are different. 141 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:44,046 I know we have a future together, and I'm pretty sure she feels the same. 142 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,131 That's great. 143 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,843 All I'm saying is, when you ask her, 144 00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:52,388 go slow and make sure you're on the same page. 145 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,056 Right, Robert? 146 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,235 [exhales] Brunch ready? 147 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,778 What's wrong with you? 148 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,989 Why do you keep falling asleep? 149 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,909 Because if I'm awake, I have to listen to this conversation. 150 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,662 Your son is a 38-year-old man. 151 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,997 Treat him like one. 152 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,790 Uh, let's not be too hasty. 153 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,042 [cell phone chimes] 154 00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:27,757 Oh, I better go get those strawberries you wanted. 155 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,342 Be back in an hour. 156 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:32,053 An hour? Whole Foods is around the corner. 157 00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:38,142 Right. But the very best strawberries are at this stand by the airport. 158 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,356 I get my strawberries from the Internet. 159 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,317 I know you do, buddy. 160 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:51,072 Frankie, this is the fourth time we've been up and down this street. 161 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:55,368 Yes, and this is how we found my earring. 162 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,453 [scoffs] Well, we're not looking for an earring. 163 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,330 We're looking for our toilet. 164 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,541 And our toilet is gone. 165 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:03,626 Grace. 166 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:04,835 What? 167 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:09,882 This is why you're lucky to be partnered with a semi-professional gumshoe. 168 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:12,260 What is that? 169 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:16,180 - Grass? - Oh, Watson, you dumb doctor. 170 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,099 No, these! 171 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,354 Toilet tracks! You know what that means, don't you? 172 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,900 That we're two old nutjobs about to track down a runaway toilet? 173 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:28,859 Shh. 174 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:33,531 My toilet sense is tingling, and not in the "uh-oh" way. 175 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,618 I'm so glad you got my memo about acting normal. 176 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,830 Wow, Sol, you make a mean hollandaise. 177 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,833 Thank you. It's called "Sollandaise." 178 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,376 - See? I told you... - [door opens] 179 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,503 - ...he was gonna say "Sollandaise." - [door closes] 180 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,548 Sorry, sorry, don't get up. Did I miss anything? 181 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,676 Only the part of brunch where we eat brunch. 182 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,637 It's okay, I'm sure these airport strawberries 183 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,441 I've heard so much about are worth the wait. 184 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:04,061 Funny story about those strawberries. 185 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,814 I went to get them, right? And, uh... 186 00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:10,026 But, uh, coming home, I... ate them. 187 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,611 [Robert chuckles] 188 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,738 You know me. [chuckles] 189 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,741 [Frankie] And voilà. 190 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:20,077 [Grace] I cannot believe this actually worked. 191 00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:25,166 Porch swing, begonia toilet planter. 192 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,627 Dollars to doughnuts, this gal makes her own pickles. 193 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:31,922 Well, that's good for us. Pickle weirdos are usually nice. 194 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,050 - Why, thank you. - [dog barking] 195 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,718 [doorbell rings] 196 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,099 Is this about that fucking lost dog? 197 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,143 Whoa, hello to you. 198 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,645 Uh, um... 199 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,189 I'm Grace, this is Frankie. And you are...? 200 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:49,440 Who's asking? 201 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:53,069 Well, as I just explained, I'm Grace, and... and this is Frank... 202 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,863 Jesus Christ, if it'll shut you up, I'm Viv. 203 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:58,699 Sorry to interrupt your brining, Viv. 204 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,370 Although I realize now I probably am off the mark there. 205 00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,455 But we're here about a lost toilet. 206 00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:07,041 Yeah, and the good news is, we... we found it 207 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,627 right here on your charming porch. 208 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:12,380 And the bad news is, I don't give a shit. 209 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:14,382 Yeah, well, we'll pay you for it! 210 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,592 Yeah, like a finder's fee. 211 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,678 I'll take $70,000. 212 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,638 And without the begonias? 213 00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:24,558 You know what, Viv? We were just being polite. 214 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:29,021 This is our property, and we're gonna take it back. Get the dolly. 215 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,400 Touch my planter and I will end you. 216 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,112 Thanks for your time. 217 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,534 - What is it with begonia people... - [door closes] 218 00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:43,577 ...that makes them so aggressive? 219 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,078 [grunts] 220 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,039 [Frankie exhales] 221 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,252 - That was crazy. - How so? 222 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,212 She was just judging our relationship. 223 00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:56,674 - She was reading questions off a form. - In a fucking tone. 224 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,301 How antediluvian was this Nicole person, 225 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:03,597 with her heteronormative glasses and her dumb pen? Right? 226 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,517 Wasn't her pen so dumb? 227 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,145 Nothing that was said back there wasn't completely true. 228 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:12,022 - But I don't feel good about it. - Well, whose fault is that? 229 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,525 It's Nicole's. 230 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,402 Am I not being clear? 231 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:20,114 - [exhales] We've got to get our baby back. - [exhales] 232 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,868 Did you not see the lady with the green thumb and the baseball bat? 233 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:25,786 Oh, God. Duck! 234 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,541 [engine turns over] 235 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,256 [exhales] 236 00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:40,468 Goddess bless, this is our chance. 237 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,928 We take back the night. 238 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,847 No! No, Frankie, what are you doing? 239 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:48,225 What I was born to do, steal toilets. 240 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,565 Well, we were going to have strawberries and cream for dessert, 241 00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:57,860 but I guess now we'll just be having cream. 242 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,280 I, for one, could not be more excited. 243 00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,824 Says the guy with the belly full of strawberries, am I right? 244 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,701 Ooh, sick burn, Jessica. 245 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,162 And an interesting talking point. 246 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:13,250 Explain to us one more time how the berries ended up in your belly. 247 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:17,838 As you all know, I love nothing more than a good strawberry. 248 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,007 Lie. You once told me 249 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,802 - fruit doesn't count as dessert. - It doesn't. 250 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:26,597 So we're to believe that someone so notoriously anti-berry 251 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,641 would suddenly eat all those berries? 252 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,271 Unless there were no berries. 253 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:37,483 - I mean, I am locked in. - Yeah. 254 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:40,152 Would it be fair to say that you have a history 255 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:43,489 of eating secret fast food in your car? 256 00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:47,117 I have driven through some places, sure. Who hasn't? 257 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,370 And what place did you drive through today? 258 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,455 McDonald's? Taco Bell? 259 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,875 Not Yoshinoya Beef Bowl! 260 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,919 Excuse me. I have cream to whip. 261 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,755 That's why you have all those mints in your car. 262 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,049 To hide your burger breath! 263 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:04,426 Do we have to keep talking about my eating habits 264 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,680 when people here have more important things to discuss? 265 00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:14,478 Are we the people who have more important things to discuss? 266 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:15,855 Uh... 267 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,732 Oh, we gotta go faster. That lunatic could come home any minute. 268 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:21,527 Let her come. I've got an unopened can of whoop-ass... 269 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:24,238 - [grunts] - ...burning a hole in my pocket. 270 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,198 [Frankie grunts, pants] 271 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,242 - [yells] - Oh. 272 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:30,536 - [vehicle approaches] - [grunts] Damn! 273 00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:33,163 - Sweet sexy Santa, it's stuck! - [car door closes] 274 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,874 - What are we gonna do? - [grunts] 275 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,866 Put your hands in the air and step away from the toilet. 276 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:42,089 [indistinct police radio chatter] 277 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:47,094 You are not being singled out. No one is allowed to keep a bird at work. 278 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,056 Okay. Hi. Pigeon lady? Out. Time's up. Go. 279 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,602 Oh, Brianna. I'm glad you stopped by. I was actually going to... 280 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,812 No, no, no. I have to talk to you. 281 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,981 Okay. What about? 282 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,526 Just want to make clear, Barry and I are rock-solid. 283 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,862 I didn't say you weren't. 284 00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,573 Mmm, yeah-huh, you kind of did. 285 00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:11,201 Uh, Brianna, the most important thing to keep in mind here is 286 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,495 I super don't care about your relationship. 287 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:18,459 Great. Then you won't mind correcting that form and making it read "rock-solid." 288 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,546 Yep. Sure. 289 00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,051 And done. 290 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,261 - Thank you. - Yeah. 291 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,430 Great. 292 00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:35,017 And what was it that you want to talk to me about? 293 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,436 Oh, right. This. 294 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,941 It's an offer from Taneth. 295 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,318 For a promotion. 296 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:47,821 You would still supervise Say Grace, plus a few subsidiaries. 297 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,615 Uh, and you get your own bathroom. 298 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:53,118 Is this bathroom in San Francisco? 299 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,203 Yes. 300 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,246 With the job. 301 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:58,248 Oh. 302 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,961 Officers, this isn't what it looks like. 303 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,462 You're not stealing a toilet? 304 00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,381 I guess it is what it looks like. 305 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:06,757 We didn't steal it. 306 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,259 The woman that lives over there stole it from us. 307 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,844 We know all about Viv. 308 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,555 Uh, if you know Viv, 309 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:17,017 you'd know that she hates it when people touch her begonias. 310 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,436 Yeah, we just need our property back. 311 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:22,564 Are these stolen SIM cards your property, too? 312 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,484 - [scoffs] - Don't resist, Grace. 313 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,778 Don't give these brutes a reason. 314 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,035 Okay, um... 315 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,914 So, I just kind of wanted to check in 316 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,250 and see where we're at. 317 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:45,713 Seems like we're at a brunch with two guys who talk a lot about strawberries. 318 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,171 Yeah, they do. 319 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,633 But, um... I meant... 320 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,594 uh, where we are with the relationship. 321 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,013 Oh. 322 00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:55,888 Oh! 323 00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:59,226 I-I just want to make sure we're on the same page. 324 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,894 Sure. 325 00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:02,771 Yes! 326 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,898 If you want to. I'm sorry. 327 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:08,027 These kind of conversations make me really nervous. 328 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,779 Me, too. I mean, um... 329 00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:13,782 Okay, how about this? 330 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,826 I'll count to three. 331 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:20,456 You say what you're looking for, and I'll say what I'm looking for. 332 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:22,790 Okay. 333 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:27,755 - One, two, three. Moving in together. - Marriage. 334 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,798 Wait, what? 335 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,510 Let's try that again. I didn't understand the rules. 336 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,096 - Yeah. Me neither. - [clears throat] Okay. 337 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,683 One, two, three. 338 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,518 - Marriage. - Moving in together. 339 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,686 [slight chuckle] 340 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,855 [slight chuckle] 341 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:46,940 Best two out of three? 342 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,192 Okay. 343 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,611 If that doesn't work, we could try four out of six. 344 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:52,738 Cool. 345 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:55,574 I think it's clear by now we don't even know what SIM cards are. 346 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,786 This is not my first tango with the fuzz. Let me do the talking. 347 00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,245 - Yeah, but I've got... - Shh, shh. 348 00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:03,373 I'm gonna lay this out for you plain and simple. 349 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,584 We are business ladies. 350 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:10,089 We did vaginal lube, we did vibrators, and now we do toilets. 351 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,049 Didn't see that coming. 352 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:15,469 And we're taking this little puppy here on Shark Tank. 353 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:19,431 Okay, we're free to go. 354 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,433 That's what we say. And you're not. 355 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:25,437 Here's the problem, ladies. We knew these were supposed to move today. 356 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,232 - And here you are moving them. - No, we were moving the toilet. 357 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,484 Oh, right, the one you're taking on Shark Tank. 358 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:31,485 [both] Yes! 359 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:35,072 Because this is a special toilet we invented, 360 00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,782 when she got stuck on the can 361 00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:39,493 and didn't want her much younger husband to find out. 362 00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:41,912 - He's a billionaire. - Uh-huh. 363 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:44,164 So we knew we needed to make something 364 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,875 to replace her pulley-system with the statue, 365 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,628 because it got sent to the president of Uruguay. 366 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,881 Here. This is how it works. 367 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,843 [mimics the sound of gears] 368 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,850 It works better with my dummy. 369 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,978 Okay, Frankie, let me do the talking now. 370 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:11,567 I know that everything that came out of her mouth sounded totally insane. 371 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,444 - Yeah. - But in her defense, it's true. 372 00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:15,571 It-It is true. 373 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:19,074 We got a flat tire coming back from... from the, uh, Shark Tank audition. 374 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,618 We left our prototype on the road. 375 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:26,206 Viv found it and used it to... to hide her SIM cards. 376 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,333 - Look. Here. - Ah-ah-ah. 377 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:29,668 Whoa. 378 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,170 Well, look in my purse. 379 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,298 You'll... You'll find the release forms from Shark Tank. 380 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:35,507 Oh, and our business card 381 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:40,804 which shows that we make lubes and vibrators and soon-to-be toilets. 382 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,181 It checks out. 383 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,474 I'll be damned. So you are really going on Shark Tank. 384 00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:47,811 - Yes. - Was I unclear before, copper? 385 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,021 Remember? 386 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,900 - [mimics the sound of gears] - Oh, God. 387 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,235 Well, when you go on Shark Tank, 388 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,613 you might want to leave this one at home. 389 00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,363 [scoffs] 390 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,532 Mm-hmm. 391 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,700 [car door opens] 392 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,661 - [car door closes] - [engine turns over] 393 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:07,539 Where's Jessica? 394 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:11,043 Uh, she's in the ladies' room, trying out Mom's invention. 395 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:15,797 Hey, I wanted to thank you for forcing an important discussion earlier. 396 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,342 Sorry about that, but your father was on the warpath. 397 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:19,676 I'm still on the warpath. 398 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,305 It's okay. It actually turned out really well, I think. 399 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,350 - What do you mean? - Well, we're either moving in together 400 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,061 or getting married, or some combination of the two. 401 00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:32,481 I'm not sure in which order or if any of it's really happening. 402 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:35,067 The point is, we're on the same page. 403 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:40,072 You're on the same page about not having any idea what you're doing? 404 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,032 - Yes. - That's par for the course 405 00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,659 in most relationships. 406 00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:48,789 Well, that was fun. [chuckles] 407 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:51,124 Ooh, is that Wheat Thins and cream? 408 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,751 I'm afraid so. 409 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,671 I'm gonna call us a Lyft. 410 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:58,215 Thank you so much for brunch. You guys are awesome. 411 00:20:58,799 --> 00:20:59,799 [cell phone chimes] 412 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,219 [Jessica] Found. Great. 413 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:05,180 Oh, wow, our driver is... 414 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,724 - zero minutes away. Great. - [message decline sound] 415 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:08,808 Huh. 416 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:10,852 He just canceled. 417 00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:15,274 - We have two old bikes in the garage. - No, let me try. Um... 418 00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:17,651 All right, set pickup location. 419 00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:19,444 - [cell phone chimes] - Huh. 420 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,822 - Same guy. Zero minutes away. - [message decline sound] 421 00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:25,033 You know, I think one of our neighbors could be a Lyft driver. 422 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,118 Mr. Purcelli. 423 00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:30,163 Didn't he recently buy all those heirloom rose bushes? 424 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,748 Where did that windfall come from? 425 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,083 - Hmm. - [cell phone chimes] 426 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:35,794 Did somebody put something in the microwave? 427 00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:43,093 Robert, are you a Lyft driver named Bob H? 428 00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:51,268 - [Brianna] Barry. - Hey. 429 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:54,896 I have some very exciting news. 430 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,107 Oh, Linda gets to bring her bird to work? 431 00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:58,190 No. 432 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,277 But remember how you were complaining 433 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,947 about how you live in my house, and you only have one shelf in the closet? 434 00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,408 I didn't mention my shelf, but, yeah. 435 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:10,329 What if we were to get a new place with two closets? 436 00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:13,457 Well, we actually have two closets. You just won't let me use... 437 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:15,876 Okay, fine, three closets. Whatever. 438 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:19,129 Yeah, and getting a new place together would be nice. 439 00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:20,255 - Right? - Yeah. 440 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:25,385 And what if it were in beautiful San Francisco? 441 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:26,970 Why San Francisco? 442 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,514 Because you love sourdough bread. 443 00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:35,228 And because Trust Us offered me a sweet new gig there, and I took it. 444 00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:36,605 - What? - And don't worry, 445 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,791 I'll hook you up with a job. I'm going to be in charge 446 00:22:38,815 --> 00:22:41,276 of a lot of subsidiaries, whatever that means. 447 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,029 - In San Francisco. - Mm-hmm. 448 00:22:44,821 --> 00:22:46,073 I can't believe you did this. 449 00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,157 I know. 450 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:51,787 I mean, look at me, I'm really thinking about our future. 451 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:53,455 You mean your future. 452 00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:00,712 - What? No. - Yeah, I'm not going to San Francisco. 453 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,547 But the bread... 454 00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,925 I don't even eat bread anymore. You won't let me. 455 00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:08,154 That's because when you eat bread, I want to eat bread, and I'm not eating bread. 456 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:11,431 Liz and Erin are having their baby, and I want to be around, 457 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:16,144 which you'd know if you actually talked about our future with me. 458 00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:18,938 [scoffs] 459 00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:28,532 Robert, is there something you'd like to say to me? 460 00:23:28,615 --> 00:23:30,367 I'm going to level with you. 461 00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:33,036 I don't think those two kids are going to make it. 462 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,914 I was thinking more about your secret driving profession. 463 00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:37,624 Oh, that. 464 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:41,002 Yeah, so, uh, what do you want to know? 465 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:42,838 How about we start with everything? 466 00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:45,215 Okay, fine. 467 00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:47,968 It all started when the theater went down. 468 00:23:48,051 --> 00:23:52,180 Robert, I'm sorry we couldn't give the money. 469 00:23:52,722 --> 00:23:55,016 I know, but I really miss it. 470 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,895 You know, the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd. 471 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,523 But you know what I really miss? 472 00:24:01,898 --> 00:24:03,900 - The camaraderie. - Of course. 473 00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:05,610 That makes perfect sense. 474 00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:12,409 But what doesn't make any sense is why you're driving a car for money. 475 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:14,327 You're not an actor, Sol. 476 00:24:14,870 --> 00:24:19,124 You don't understand that giving an audience an experience it's never had 477 00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:22,836 is the same thrill as driving someone you've never met to Sav-on. 478 00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,630 I really don't understand that. 479 00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:28,091 Which is why I couldn't tell you. 480 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:29,593 [Sol] But... 481 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:38,226 if it's excitement you want, and camaraderie, 482 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:43,064 how about we go on the honeymoon we never got to have? 483 00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:44,983 Like a cruise. 484 00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:47,569 I'm not sure a fancy cruise... 485 00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:50,989 I know it's no trip with a stranger to Sav-on. 486 00:24:51,072 --> 00:24:52,908 But it ticks all the boxes. 487 00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:55,535 Meeting new people, going new places, 488 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,537 and if that's not thrilling enough, 489 00:24:57,621 --> 00:25:01,041 are you aware of the term "midnight buffet"? 490 00:25:02,292 --> 00:25:04,169 It was my nickname in college. 491 00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:07,631 Well, dust off the elastic waist. 492 00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:09,049 We're going... 493 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:11,927 first-class all the way. 494 00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:15,305 If you've got the money, spend it. 495 00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:26,900 - What are you doing? - I'm throwing away the stupid capes. 496 00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:31,404 Okay. I'm-I'm glad we're not wearing them on Shark Tank. 497 00:25:31,488 --> 00:25:33,448 You could still wear yours to run errands. 498 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:35,784 I've already got an errand cape. 499 00:25:36,743 --> 00:25:38,703 And I'm not going on Shark Tank. 500 00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:40,080 Excuse me? 501 00:25:41,164 --> 00:25:43,959 You heard what that cop said about me. 502 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:47,087 [scoffs] Since when do you listen to cops? 503 00:25:47,170 --> 00:25:50,507 Since they started saying exactly what you've been worried about, 504 00:25:50,590 --> 00:25:52,425 that everyone out there in TV land 505 00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:55,971 will see us as doddering old fools talking about a potty. 506 00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:58,557 I admit that I have worried about that. 507 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,393 But it's my job in this partnership to worry. 508 00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:05,438 Well, you don't have to anymore, because we are not the joke. I am. 509 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:08,191 Oh, Frankie, you're not a joke. 510 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:11,152 I just don't want to be some kind of sideshow. 511 00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:12,988 I'll just get in the way. 512 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,532 You came up with this. 513 00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:19,786 You are the way. I'm not gonna go there alone. 514 00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:22,414 Butch doesn't go out there without Sundance. 515 00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:25,917 And the last time they went out together, they were blown to pieces. 516 00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,252 Oh, God. Listen. 517 00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:31,339 Ever since you and I became you and me, 518 00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,883 we've done a lot of crazy shit, 519 00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:36,344 but we've always done it together. 520 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:39,806 And it's turned out pretty damn well. 521 00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:43,560 You know? And we always have the last laugh. 522 00:26:43,643 --> 00:26:47,689 'Cause one of us is a mad genius, and the other one is really smart. 523 00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:49,983 I'm the mad genius, right? 524 00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:51,526 [chuckles] Right. 525 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:54,195 So get the damn capes out of the trash, 526 00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:56,740 'cause we are going on Shark Tank. 527 00:26:56,823 --> 00:27:01,119 Oh, shit. That was good stuff, woman. I have goose bumps. 528 00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,454 You know what? 529 00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:06,541 You are just first-rate, kid. I'm not kidding. 530 00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:08,752 You're first-rate too, Frankie. 531 00:27:10,503 --> 00:27:12,422 Are you gonna really wear the cape? 532 00:27:12,505 --> 00:27:14,424 [scoffs] Fuck, no. 533 00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:16,593 [laughs] 534 00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:19,971 ["(I've Got) Trouble In Mind" by The Limiñanas plays] 535 00:28:02,722 --> 00:28:04,057 [woman] Okay, good night!