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[Grace Potter's
"Stuck In The Middle" playing]
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♪ Well, I don't know
Why I came here tonight ♪
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♪ Got the feelin'
That somethin' ain't right ♪
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♪ I'm so scared
In case I fall off my chair ♪
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♪ And I'm wondering
How I'll get down the stairs ♪
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♪ And there's clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right ♪
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♪ Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you ♪
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♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪
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♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
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As you both know, I have just completed
the market research
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for our new product, the Rise Up,
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brought to you by the people
who brought you Ménage à Moi.
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We know that. We're those people.
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Please save your questions until the end.
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That wasn't a question.
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And you've just lost
your question privileges.
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Shh. I don't want us to get thrown out.
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When presented with the word "toilet,"
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the response from customers at Costco,
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uh, varied from... "Gross,"
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"Not sexy,"
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"Get away from me now,"
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and, "Where's the rotisserie chicken?"
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Not great toilet news.
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But where is the chicken in that place?
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Unfortunately, the words "privy,"
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"loo," "commode," and "shitter"
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all tested better than the word "toilet."
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- Shitter beat toilet?
- Not the way you say it.
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"Shitta" beat toilet.
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Hmm, I can see that.
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Well, I'm... I'm afraid, ladies,
we're sunk.
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[Grace] No, we're not.
It's hard to market.
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It's a toilet.
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You know, if it was easy,
every joker would be making one.
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Well, we do have some good news.
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This outfit tested very highly
for your date tonight,
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especially in your target demo
of men age 21 to 99.
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You had her test your date outfit?
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Look, I've been texting and flirting
with Jack for weeks.
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I've set the stage.
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But now I've got to go out and be
Lady Gaga, because this guy is cool.
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What do you mean? You're always
the cool one in a relationship.
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You told me yourself.
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I tell you lots of things, Grace.
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He already likes you enough
to give you a Jerry Garcia sneaker.
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- Hmm.
- Isn't that Deadhead for "I'm into you"?
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Yes, but he went out
with Carole King and Carol Kane.
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Wow, you really are nervous.
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I am. I went on a mock date with Coyote,
and it did not go well.
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- Thank you.
- Mmm.
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It's just that an egg white omelet
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would've been the healthier option
for you, that's all.
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That's some banana split calling
the omelet unhealthy right there.
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I'm not familiar with that saying.
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I'm not the one having surgery in a week.
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Correct. I am.
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And I don't think a few egg yolks
are going to change my prognosis.
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Stop! Are tomatoes bad now? Let me check.
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- "Are tomatoes bad now?"
- [keyboard clacking]
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Oh, yes. They are.
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Wait. No, that's from 2014, hold on.
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Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling,
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ad, scrolling.
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Okay, tomatoes are good to go.
He's fine.
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- You're fine.
- Wait!
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Carcinogens.
Aren't there carcinogens in coffee?
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I think there are. Good save, Robert.
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You want Bud to rub your feet?
Bud, can you rub his feet?
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- On it.
- No!
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Stay away from my feet!
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This, right here, is why I didn't want
anyone to know about my surgery.
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Where are you going?
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To the cancer support group
the doctor told us about.
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Oh, that's a great idea.
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We support that. [chuckles] Right, Robert?
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Yes, we do. You need one of us...
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- Guess he's all set.
- Hmm.
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00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,873
- You just sticking around or...
- Yep. On my way out.
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[keyboard clacking]
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[Mallory] Have you seen the stapler?
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Yep.
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Could you tell me where it is?
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Why don't I just leave it on the printer,
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and then when you're firing off
another cover letter,
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it'll be right there for you.
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Okay.
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Then, here's your report.
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[slight chuckle] Slice.
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[clears throat] You know, cut the tension.
[nervous chuckle]
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- What do you need, Barry?
- Right. Every department's out of paper,
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and everyone's too afraid
to come in and get it.
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Does everyone need to print
their résumés now?
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I-I don't know.
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[sighs]
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I'll bring them some.
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Quick, Barry, rip a fart in her fort.
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- I can't.
- Oh, now you can't?
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So, seems like this sister-fight's
winding down,
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and everything's gonna be sort of resolved
by, say, Friday 7:00 p.m.? [chuckles]
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Why?
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Ugh. Not going on a double date
with her and Dan.
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But the... the short rib.
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What is it with you and that short rib?
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[scoffs] The short rib is legendary.
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Like... you know it received
several thousand votes for mayor?
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And you have to pay for it in advance,
which I did.
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And they won't seat less than four people
at the table. I already checked.
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Okay, fine. We'll just go
with another couple.
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Never mind. I'll just cancel
the fucking reservation, I guess.
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Barry, you don't think I can find
someone else to go with us?
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No, you know, I don't think you can find
two people to go with us.
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- What about...?
- Bud and Coyote? Not officially a couple.
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- Erin and Liz?
- Vegetarians.
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Of course. We have tons
of other couple friends.
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- And you've alienated all of them.
- Not Mark and Cindy.
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You mean Mike and Sandy?
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Is... Is that their names?
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This is why we need Dan and Mallory.
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They're our only couple friends.
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They were our only couple friends,
until Mallory betrayed me.
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You know what?
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Make up with your sister
or find another couple.
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My mom and Nick?
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- Yes.
- Ew, no.
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Hey, hey, hey.
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Well, well. Someone must have had
a good time on their date.
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I did.
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I think.
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I mean, the ride there was fun.
And the ride home was great.
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Oh, no. Well, the date was bad?
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Well, there's no way to know at this time.
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- [speaking indistinctly]
- [music plays loudly, people chattering]
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It's just a default setting for them.
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What did you just say?
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...T-shirt cannon... [indistinct]
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Whatever... no reason...
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[speaks indistinctly]
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I'm sorry, one more time.
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I couldn't bring any
because of the straitjacket.
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[laughs]
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You couldn't hear him the entire night?
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Well, I heard bits and pieces.
What I heard, I liked.
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Frankie, I want to thank you for tonight.
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I want to thank you for letting me
take my shoes off in here.
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[laughs]
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I know what I told you
isn't exactly what everybody
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would talk about on a first date.
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I'm not everybody.
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No, you're not.
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I've never been on a date with someone
who fills up on mints from the host stand.
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Why would they have them
up at the entrance
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if they didn't want you
to start with them?
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Well, you know,
the entrance is also the exit.
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- You're blowing my mind right now.
- [both chuckle]
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Wait, go back. What did he tell you?
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"The entrance is also the exit."
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No. I-I know that. Everybody knows that.
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The thing you normally don't say
on a first date.
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I'm getting there.
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Ah, I got to tell you,
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part of the reason I haven't been out
with anyone in so long
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is that I've been ashamed
to talk about it, for obvious reasons.
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Loud and clear.
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And you're a really great listener.
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- I really am.
- Mm-hmm.
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In fact, I would gladly listen
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to that thing you told me
in the restaurant.
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Again, right now.
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[laughs]
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I can't wait till Thursday.
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Thursday?
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Our second date, which I think
we discussed in that too-loud restaurant.
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Was it too loud,
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or have you just needed hearing aids
for years and refused to accept it?
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How can I be the cool one
in the relationship with a hearing aid?
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Besides, they've never once
gone with my outfit.
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Now, an ear trumpet, on the other hand...
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You sold me on the Rise Up when you said,
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"Don't be ashamed of something you need."
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Did I?
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00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:06,754
I can't hear most of what I say
these days.
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00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:11,175
That's a blessing. But do you really want
to start your relationship like this?
184
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:15,137
I don't want to spook Jack
with every little flaw right away.
185
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Besides, he thinks I'm accepting, chill,
and a bitchin' listener.
186
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:23,938
- Well, you are. You're just a bad hear-er.
- Hmm.
187
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:28,234
Okay, let's try to piece together what
he might have said in that restaurant.
188
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At one point he did say,
"Tonight, we have a lovely clam linguine."
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That was the waiter.
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00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,828
[muffled] Could be.
191
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- [Robert] Hi.
- Hi.
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Do you need help with that?
Sometimes they can be tricky.
193
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:55,094
No, I can take my jacket off myself,
thanks.
194
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:58,389
Just making sure you know
I'm here for you, whatever you need.
195
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,683
I know. Thanks.
196
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,435
So, how was your support group?
197
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,021
It was great. Really fun.
198
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,440
Talking about cancer was fun?
199
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,901
People with cancer
make their own kind of fun.
200
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,322
Well, I'm really very proud of you
for going.
201
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,657
Maybe next time I could go with you.
202
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,786
Oh, no, it's not
for family members. Sorry.
203
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:23,705
Oh.
204
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,918
Well, then I-I guess it's better to talk
to people who are going through it.
205
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,045
Yeah.
206
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:33,883
In fact, there's another one on Thursday.
I'm going to go.
207
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,134
Okay.
208
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,929
And maybe afterwards,
you can tell me all about it.
209
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,848
Oh. Robert...
210
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:44,477
the first rule of cancer club is, uh...
211
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,396
well, have cancer.
212
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:57,114
So, Jack, on Thursday, the day of Thurs,
213
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,991
how long do you think it would take me
214
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,787
to get to, uh, the place
to which we are both going?
215
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:06,916
Uh, uh, wait, is that surface street time
or highway?
216
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:09,752
And how fast do you think I drive?
[chuckles]
217
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,796
Just pick her up.
218
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:15,383
Beach house, 6:00 p.m., no cops.
219
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,261
Ah, thank you. Why didn't I think of that?
220
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:23,391
Because you didn't go
to Jason Statham's charm school.
221
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:27,561
Okay, okay, everybody, focus on me. Yo!
222
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,022
So, I was up all night.
223
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,399
Ooh, lucky Nick.
224
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,609
Huh? Oh. Oh, he's fine.
225
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:35,611
No, I was working.
226
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,613
And do you know what I realized?
227
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,323
I love this.
228
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,201
I love working with you.
229
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,453
Well, right back at you, sister.
230
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,790
I love spinning your bonkers ideas
into gold.
231
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,959
Well, fuck you, sister.
232
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:53,629
And I figured out
how we're gonna market the Rise Up.
233
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,483
You know how you don't want to freak
Jack out by leading with the negatives?
234
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,467
It's the same thing with Rise Up.
235
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,845
We have to ease people into it,
236
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:03,889
and then, once they're on board,
boom, toilet.
237
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,309
Just come out and say it: I'm your muse.
238
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,311
Whatever.
239
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:14,150
We're selling a brand, right?
An idea, not just a toilet.
240
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,737
So our marketing
has to empower older people
241
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,947
while we build a mystique around it.
242
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,366
And then we just blast them
with the toilet.
243
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,909
No, we don't blast anybody.
244
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,455
But you said, "Boom, toilet,"
and nobody batted an eye.
245
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:32,960
I am not getting into the weeds with you
over "booming" versus "blasting." Again.
246
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:37,047
So, ladies and ladies,
247
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,759
our teaser campaign.
248
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,262
[Frankie] Now this is sexy.
249
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:47,933
I would definitely tell you
to buy me whatever this is selling.
250
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,310
This is gonna go online,
251
00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,854
and then, hopefully,
people will start to engage with us.
252
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,774
[gasps] Can we also post these
all over town,
253
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,942
like on buildings and overpasses?
254
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,527
[Joan-Margaret] What a great idea.
255
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:03,073
I have ski masks, a ladder,
and wheat paste in my car.
256
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:06,452
Well, I suppose we can use that stuff
to hang posters.
257
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:09,997
[chuckles] Ye...
258
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:13,042
Yes, of course I'm serious about dinner.
259
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:18,339
Yes, but I like to think of us as the type
of friends who don't speak for two years
260
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:21,217
and then just pick up
right where we left off.
261
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:26,180
Okay, then stop watching
my Instagram stories.
262
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,890
Hey, it's Bri.
263
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,184
Brianna.
264
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:32,978
Brianna Hanson.
265
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,230
Okay, bye.
266
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,316
You wanted to see me?
267
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,652
Hey, E-dog.
268
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:45,574
I know it's Erica. I just wanted
to show you how close we are.
269
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,452
- Oh, God, what's happening?
- Nothing!
270
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,246
[pats sofa]
271
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,123
[chuckles]
272
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,669
- This is for you.
- Oh.
273
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,134
I just wanted to see
whatcha doing Friday night.
274
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:08,097
Um, working late?
Is that the right answer?
275
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,600
The right answer is having fun...
with me and Barry.
276
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:15,271
Dinner, Friday night, you and your...
277
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,607
girlfriend? Boyfriend?
278
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,734
Please make a face
so I know when I'm close.
279
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,779
I've been married a year. To Pete.
280
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,614
We met here.
281
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,908
Great. So we're on for Friday.
282
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,827
What? Oh, Friday.
283
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:30,953
I can't.
284
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,371
I'm...
285
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,748
getting an operation.
286
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,333
It's elective.
287
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,168
And I'm electing.
288
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:39,837
Hmm.
289
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,381
Big bumms,
you're gonna have to reschedule that.
290
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,842
You'll be working late. Now get out.
291
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:48,888
- [Erica] Barry.
- Hi.
292
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:56,604
Just had to give Erica a talking-to
about fiscal ointment projections.
293
00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,481
You get it.
294
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,877
You tried to get her and Pete
to come to dinner, didn't you?
295
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,319
Who the fuck is Pete?
296
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,782
Oh, here's another good one.
297
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,660
"My boss was trying to get me
to retire early,
298
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,787
but I rose up and refused.
299
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,831
- He ended up giving me a raise."
- Ah!
300
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,291
"Hashtag rise up."
301
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,543
I can't believe this is working.
302
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:22,087
I can't believe how much hummus
is on your screen.
303
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,171
Oh.
304
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,423
Here's a good one.
305
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:29,678
"At a restaurant, they only had
those high tables with terrible stools.
306
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:34,224
But I rose up and demanded a chair
with a back. Hashtag rise up."
307
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,355
I demand a raise. Hashtag rise up.
308
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,438
No.
309
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:45,402
Well, I've already risen up.
So I guess I'll go and make us some tea.
310
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,572
- [door opens]
- [Coyote] Hello?
311
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,574
- In here.
- [door closes]
312
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:55,287
I just wanted to stop by and give my dad
this healthy green shake I made.
313
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,123
It's Bud's recipe.
Don't tell him I used it.
314
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,626
- Still fighting over a girl?
- Mm-hmm.
315
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,670
That's great for you two grown men.
316
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,922
Why is the green shake brown?
317
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,174
Oh, a bunch of Ubers canceled on me.
318
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,927
Ugh. I was standing outside for a while.
319
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:11,719
Where's Dad?
320
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,723
He's with his cancer support group
at the JCC.
321
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,767
- Hmm.
- No idea when he'll be back.
322
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,144
Oh, I-I sometimes go
to AA meetings there.
323
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,606
I'm sure the schedule's on their website.
Let me check.
324
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:27,611
Yeah, here it is.
Uh, "Family Cancer Support Group."
325
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:30,489
Family? No, he goes to the one
just for the patient.
326
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,658
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm.
327
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:38,038
"For cancer patients, their family,
and caregivers."
328
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,122
Yeah.
329
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,874
Yeah, it's the only one.
330
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,836
Why didn't he want me there?
331
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:48,590
Well, if it makes you feel better,
you can come to one of my AA meetings
332
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,717
and support me.
333
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,427
I can't that day. Sorry.
334
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:52,845
You want half to go?
335
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:54,805
Thanks.
336
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:00,727
Hey.
337
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,730
Where's, uh, Brianna?
338
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,693
She said she'd rather eat
in a bathroom stall than with me.
339
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:09,945
[slight chuckle]
340
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:14,700
So, how are you... how you holding up?
341
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,953
Well, actually, it's been just...
342
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,330
I feel you. I feel you. It's like, ugh!
343
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,041
- Mm-hmm.
- I hate seeing you two fight.
344
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,667
- Right.
- You know, it's...
345
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,085
Look...
346
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,254
I never had siblings.
347
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:30,632
You know, I-I-I had bird brothers,
348
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,552
which, uh, you know,
they'd fight occasionally,
349
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:37,097
and they're pretty quick
to make up though.
350
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,389
Okay.
351
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,434
But that's how they do in bird society.
352
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,162
Barry, I don't give a fuck
about your short rib.
353
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:45,272
This is... This is bigger
than the short rib, Mallory.
354
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,566
All I did was apply for a job.
355
00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:49,443
And all you have to do
is apologize for it.
356
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,111
I need to apologize?
357
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,195
- Yeah!
- Hmm.
358
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,239
I mean, if you...
if you feel like you should.
359
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,450
Whenever Brianna and I fight,
360
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:59,870
it only ends if I say I'm sorry
for something I didn't do.
361
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:02,039
That's what being in a relationship
with Brianna is.
362
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:03,999
Doesn't that sound crazy to you?
363
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,335
Oh, my God, Brianna is crazy!
[slight chuckle]
364
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,587
What? Are you okay?
365
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,131
- This...
- Wait a min...
366
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:13,675
Hey.
367
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,554
Too crazy to cancel that short rib?
368
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:25,729
Ta-da! All right, I'm ready for whatever
and wherever this date is.
369
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:29,608
I have my formal muumuu, a funky duster,
370
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,778
and cut-off shorts I've restored to pants.
371
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:35,030
Are you sure about this?
372
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,741
You're right. I'll turn them
back into shorts.
373
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:41,203
No. What if Jack's secret
is something bad?
374
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,955
Oh. [scoffs]
375
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,250
How bad could it be?
He told me on our first date.
376
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,168
What if he's a flat-earther?
377
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,379
What if he's a dog kicker?
378
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:54,091
No, I asked him point-blank
if he kicked dogs.
379
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:56,635
What if he doesn't believe in aliens?
380
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,137
Oh, you shut your mouth.
381
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,639
Doesn't it seem like a lot of work
just to hide the fact
382
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:03,100
that sometimes you have trouble hearing?
383
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:07,104
I don't know. Aren't we all
just hiding our toilets, Grace?
384
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:10,274
That is one
of your more troubling metaphors.
385
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,776
Six crack.
386
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:14,236
[sighs]
387
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:17,948
[Sol] Nine dot.
388
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,617
Uh, five crack.
389
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:26,789
Oh, God.
390
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,713
Okay, my husband's here,
391
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:36,175
and he thinks
I'm at the cancer support group next door.
392
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:40,220
So you both have cancer right now,
so just go with it.
393
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,723
I had cancer once. Skin.
394
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:45,017
Great. Follow Greg's lead.
395
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:50,063
Uh, yes, and Greg's skin cancer is, uh...
396
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,524
Uh, I-I don't know, uh...
397
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:56,320
This isn't your improv class, Ron.
Just be cool.
398
00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:57,696
- [clears throat]
- [Robert] Sol.
399
00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:00,908
- What's going on?
- Oh. Hey, Robert.
400
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,409
Whatcha doing here?
401
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:07,539
Well, I was just coming to support you
in your cancer support group.
402
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:11,501
I saw online that families are allowed.
403
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,962
And welcome.
404
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:15,505
Mm-hmm.
405
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:16,673
[inhales]
406
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:22,471
Greg, what was that thing you were
just saying about your skin cancer?
407
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:25,098
Uh, no, thank you.
408
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,187
Uh, I, uh...
409
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,689
Cancer.
410
00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:39,112
- Hey, Jack.
- Hey, Grace. Nice to see you again.
411
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,073
- Jack's here.
- Hey!
412
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,784
I hope this is all right
to wear on our date.
413
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:45,159
Of course it is.
414
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:48,747
You could wear your pants as a jacket
as far as I'm concerned.
415
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,999
- Oh, really?
- [Jack chuckles]
416
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,336
I'm just so happy you agreed
to a second date with me.
417
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,797
Why wouldn't I go
on another date with you?
418
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:02,636
[exhales] I guess because the only
other time I told someone what I told you,
419
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,888
she freaked out and ghosted me.
420
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,056
Hmm.
421
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,809
Look, Jack... [clears throat]
422
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:13,188
I-I need to be honest about that thing
you told me the other night.
423
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,107
Oh, man, now you're freaking out.
424
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:21,113
No, no, no. Uh, the reason
I reacted so well was, um...
425
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:24,741
was Grace told me the exact same thing
426
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,034
- about her.
- [coughs]
427
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,870
- [gasps] Oh.
- So I was used to it.
428
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:31,748
And... And since you two
have that in common,
429
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:35,419
why don't I give you some space
to talk about it.
430
00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:37,629
Uh, anybody want some pop?
[makes pop sound]
431
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:38,714
[chuckles]
432
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,966
Oh, Grace, wow.
433
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,385
Yeah. Wow, indeed.
434
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:47,556
- Yeah, just a second, Jack.
- You... Yeah. Wow.
435
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,683
Absolutely not!
436
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,226
There's a special place in hell
437
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,270
- for women who don't help other women.
- [scoffs]
438
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:57,357
I am not gonna pretend that I have
the same deep, dark secrets that Jack has.
439
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:58,442
Why not?
440
00:21:58,525 --> 00:22:01,153
I don't even know what they are,
and neither do you,
441
00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:03,196
'cause you're too ashamed
to admit you can't hear.
442
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:06,908
Oh, just like you're too ashamed
to tell everyone we're selling a toilet.
443
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:08,618
I'm generating intrigue.
444
00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:10,287
That's what I'm doing.
445
00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:13,582
Mine's working. Yours is a disaster.
446
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:15,625
Look at this, working.
447
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:19,546
"I rose up for equal pay at work.
Hashtag rise up."
448
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:24,885
"I rose up for access ramps
at my grocery store. Hashtag rise up."
449
00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:28,805
"I rose up for less Jews
at my country club! Hashtag..."
450
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:30,640
Oh, my God.
451
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,976
I'm sure that must be one crackpot.
452
00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:36,521
And 70 of the crackpot's friends.
453
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,107
Turn off the Internet!
Turn off the Internet!
454
00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:46,156
What if Jack's secret is that he doesn't
want Jews in his country club?
455
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:06,885
You happy? Now I'm not talking
to my boyfriend either.
456
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:12,391
[sighs]
457
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:13,517
Fuck that.
458
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,145
How is it that no matter what you do
to someone, it's never your fault?
459
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,607
I know. I've struggled
with this irony, too.
460
00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:22,484
[Mallory] Then struggle with this:
461
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:27,489
I was seeing if I could actually get a job
that wasn't given to me by my sister.
462
00:23:28,615 --> 00:23:30,909
I wanted to know
that I was worth something...
463
00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:33,620
to someone on my own merits.
464
00:23:36,289 --> 00:23:38,625
Didn't you feel that exact same way
with Mom?
465
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:39,708
[groans]
466
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:41,086
Yes.
467
00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:44,423
Okay, I get it. Sort of.
468
00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:45,506
But...
469
00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:49,094
I thought we were
kind of in this together now, Mal.
470
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,054
Why didn't you ever tell me that?
471
00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:52,597
[exhales] Oh, Jesus.
472
00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:56,268
Why can't the people in my life
just know how hard it is for me
473
00:23:56,351 --> 00:23:59,479
to say nice things
and stop fucking bothering me about it?
474
00:24:00,730 --> 00:24:02,858
Do you see how hard
everything is for me, Mal?
475
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,735
Yeah, no, it's so tough. It's so, ugh!
476
00:24:05,819 --> 00:24:10,157
Well, none of it matters now
because I'm sure you got the job. But...
477
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,452
you should stay.
478
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,287
I want you to stay.
479
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,498
Thank you.
480
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,423
I am staying.
481
00:24:27,382 --> 00:24:29,968
But you should know
that I didn't get the job.
482
00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:31,303
- What?
- Yeah.
483
00:24:31,386 --> 00:24:33,388
Well, you have to give me names,
484
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,182
'cause I'm gonna be
making some phone calls
485
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:38,018
and telling them
that they are fucking idiots
486
00:24:38,101 --> 00:24:40,979
and thank them for being fucking idiots.
487
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:44,316
Thank you.
488
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,907
And I will go with you
to short rib on Friday.
489
00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:53,533
Great.
490
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:55,410
But don't tell Barry yet.
491
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:58,497
He's much more generous in bed
when he's depressed.
492
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:02,542
[dog barks]
493
00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:06,838
[door opens]
494
00:25:11,551 --> 00:25:14,387
Before you say anything, I'm not mad.
495
00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:17,849
I know you're under a lot of stress,
so I forgive you.
496
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:18,933
[Sol] No!
497
00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:21,311
I reject your forgiveness.
498
00:25:21,394 --> 00:25:24,147
What? No, you can't do that.
499
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:28,902
I just did. Because I lied to you,
and you should be mad.
500
00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:30,487
Well, I'm sorry.
501
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:33,170
I just don't think it's healthy
for me to be mad at you right now.
502
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:36,117
That! That right there.
That's what I don't want.
503
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:37,536
Well, what do you want?
504
00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:40,372
To be treated like a normal guy
for five minutes.
505
00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:44,584
But instead, you and everyone else
keep rubbing cancer in my face.
506
00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:47,963
- That's not true.
- Oh, yeah? Well, I know for a fact
507
00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:51,591
Coyote snuck my credit card
back into my wallet this week.
508
00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:55,845
And if that isn't rubbing cancer
in my face, I don't know what is.
509
00:25:58,515 --> 00:25:59,808
I'm sorry, Sol.
510
00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:01,308
I just...
511
00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:04,980
wanted one place I could go
512
00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:07,107
and not have to think about it.
513
00:26:07,190 --> 00:26:09,276
Well, you should've led with that!
514
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,902
- [exhales]
- Not dealing with things
515
00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,405
is my preferred way
of dealing with things.
516
00:26:13,488 --> 00:26:16,074
Grace hated that about me.
You hate it about me.
517
00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:18,618
I see the value in it now.
518
00:26:18,952 --> 00:26:24,124
Well, I'm... just trying to figure out
what I'm supposed to do here.
519
00:26:24,207 --> 00:26:26,084
- I'm a little lost.
- Me, too.
520
00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:31,381
Can we be lost together?
521
00:26:31,464 --> 00:26:32,465
Yes.
522
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:38,096
And I'll try to be better
about telling you what I need.
523
00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:39,723
Okay.
524
00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:46,021
Robert, would you care to attend
my cancer denial group?
525
00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,940
What exactly would that entail?
526
00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:51,234
- We eat crappy food...
- Mm-hmm.
527
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:53,194
...and we don't talk about feelings.
528
00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:55,238
I feel so seen.
529
00:26:55,322 --> 00:26:56,781
[laughs]
530
00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:00,368
- Hey.
- Hey.
531
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,203
Can we talk out here for a minute?
532
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,847
Uh, yeah, but if we don't leave soon,
we'll miss our reservation.
533
00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:08,793
I'm not sure you're gonna want to go
after I tell you what I have to tell you.
534
00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:10,754
Oh, well, I'm listening.
535
00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:14,716
I hope I take it as well as you did.
536
00:27:15,091 --> 00:27:18,428
You know how there are those people,
who, when they get older,
537
00:27:18,511 --> 00:27:22,349
they end up needing hearing aids
because it gets harder to hear?
538
00:27:22,432 --> 00:27:24,768
Especially in cool new restaurants?
539
00:27:24,851 --> 00:27:26,895
Yeah, I've heard legend of, yes.
540
00:27:27,228 --> 00:27:30,065
Well, them peeps be me.
541
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:34,361
I've needed hearing aids for years,
but I was too embarrassed to get them.
542
00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:38,448
Frankie, I-I don't mean to belittle
your experience, but...
543
00:27:39,532 --> 00:27:42,369
why would I not want to go
to dinner with you after that?
544
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:45,622
Because if I hadn't been
too embarrassed to get them,
545
00:27:45,705 --> 00:27:49,376
I... I would have been able to hear
what you told me the other night.
546
00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:52,128
But I didn't. So I couldn't.
547
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:55,382
And now I have no idea
what you've tried to tell me.
548
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:56,758
You're serious?
549
00:27:56,841 --> 00:27:59,594
- You didn't hear me? At all?
- No, not a word.
550
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:02,555
- [exhales]
- But on the upside, I can hear you now.
551
00:28:03,139 --> 00:28:05,684
And I want to hear
whatever you have to say.
552
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:08,770
Okay, here it goes.
553
00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:14,109
Years ago, I told everyone
I went to rehab for drinking.
554
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:16,194
Oh, that's no problem.
555
00:28:16,277 --> 00:28:18,905
I lived with my son for years in rehab.
556
00:28:18,988 --> 00:28:20,573
I wasn't supposed to,
557
00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:22,117
- but I hid really well.
- Hmm.
558
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,494
But that wasn't the truth.
559
00:28:24,577 --> 00:28:25,912
Oh.
560
00:28:26,579 --> 00:28:27,664
Twist.
561
00:28:29,332 --> 00:28:31,084
Oh, twist.
562
00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:33,128
The truth is, I didn't go to rehab.
563
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:36,131
That's what I told people
because it sounded a lot cooler
564
00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:37,549
than where I really went.
565
00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:39,509
Where did you really go?
566
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:42,929
I was asked rather insistently
567
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:46,015
not to be a part of society
for a little bit.
568
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:48,977
Well, that's... that's not a big deal.
569
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:52,939
I did my nickel.
Five hours at Disneyland jail.
570
00:28:53,773 --> 00:28:57,819
No. I spent several months
in a psych hospital.
571
00:28:58,361 --> 00:29:01,698
I had a miserable divorce
that went on forever,
572
00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:04,367
and I did not react well.
573
00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:08,747
I may have mailed my wife's rabbit
to the president.
574
00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:11,666
And they blew him up pretty quick.
575
00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:14,753
Wow, that is heavy.
576
00:29:15,211 --> 00:29:16,211
Yeah.
577
00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:20,967
I guess not everybody can deal with it.
578
00:29:21,342 --> 00:29:23,052
I'm not everybody.
579
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:25,847
No, you're not.
580
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,016
[chuckles]
581
00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:37,025
Oh, the website is updated.
582
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,695
Should be no more confusion now.
It's clearly a toilet.
583
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,781
We've disavowed all the hate groups
584
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:46,951
that co-opted
the Hashtag Rise Up campaign.
585
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:50,955
We sent that anti-Semite
the complete works of Elie Wiesel
586
00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:52,040
and Seinfeld.
587
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:56,503
That's the end of the list.
588
00:29:57,420 --> 00:29:58,420
Now what?
589
00:29:59,339 --> 00:30:00,715
Now everybody hates us.
590
00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:05,804
On the bright side, it seems that,
in this time of extreme polarization,
591
00:30:06,095 --> 00:30:11,100
we've brought all these disparate groups
together in hate against a common enemy.
592
00:30:11,184 --> 00:30:12,936
Yeah, our toilet.
593
00:30:13,019 --> 00:30:14,103
- Hmm.
- [Grace exhales]
594
00:30:15,563 --> 00:30:17,357
- [cell phone chirps]
- Oh.
595
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,567
This could be a positive tweet.
596
00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:23,071
"Your toilet sucks."
597
00:30:24,030 --> 00:30:25,281
Oh, darlings.
598
00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:27,783
We're sunk.
599
00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:30,453
["I Did It" by Nathaniel Rateliff
& The Night Sweats plays]
600
00:30:30,537 --> 00:30:32,956
♪ Oh, now, baby, don't you do it wrong
I did it ♪
601
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:34,916
♪ I did it ♪
602
00:30:34,999 --> 00:30:38,711
♪ If I crack, won't ya keep it going
I did it ♪
603
00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:40,421
♪ I did it ♪
604
00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:43,341
♪ Break my back, work my bones ♪
605
00:30:43,424 --> 00:30:45,844
♪ If I lie, don't do me wrong ♪
606
00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:47,136
♪ I did it ♪
607
00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,805
♪ I did it ♪
608
00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:54,477
♪ Hey-ey ♪
609
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:58,940
♪ Hey-ey, oh ♪
610
00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:04,028
♪ I did it ♪
611
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:06,698
♪ Hey-ey, mmm ♪
612
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:09,450
♪ Hey-ey, ah ♪
613
00:31:09,784 --> 00:31:12,328
♪ Ah, mmm ♪
614
00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:15,081
♪ Hey-ey, oh ♪
615
00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:17,834
[woman] Okay, good night!