1
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,140
If you're a ghost, I'm a friend.

2
00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:41,140
-What if I'm Babe?
-Oh, Babe!

3
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:43,350
-Ah!
-Oh, my God.

4
00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:45,770
-I didn't know you were back.
-I'm back.

5
00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:48,230
And look! I've got a new wagon.

6
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,650
-What's in it?
-Just a little spring cleaning.

7
00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:53,360
I saw your fire ceremony
from my bedroom window

8
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:54,690
and I wanted to get in on it.

9
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:59,820
Oh, Babe, I was cleansing myself
of an ugly corporate chapter of my life.

10
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,410
Aww.

11
00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:03,080
But I don't want to talk about me.

12
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,620
I want to talk about you.
I want to hear all about your travels.

13
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:10,420
Same old, same old. The Great Wall,
the Berlin Wall, the Wailing Wall.

14
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:13,750
The whole world is just a bunch of walls.
Now, come on, catch me up.

15
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,550
Let's see.

16
00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:20,050
Robert and Sol told us they were lovers,
so I moved in here with Grace.

17
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,430
Sol and Robert got married,
now they're getting divorced

18
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:25,640
because Sol was unfaithful
with a woman who turned out to be me.

19
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:30,560
And I almost made nine million dollars.

20
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,400
You and Grace are living together?

21
00:02:47,410 --> 00:02:50,080
I wasn't really expecting today
to go like this.

22
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,210
But I'm so glad it did.

23
00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:56,130
Me, too.

24
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:02,890
So... how do we do this exactly?

25
00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:05,720
I think we've reached that point
in the evening

26
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,680
where you ask me
if I'd like to come in.

27
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,140
-Do you want to come in?
-I do.

28
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,730
But I don't want you
to think I'm easy.

29
00:03:10,810 --> 00:03:13,520
Believe me, I know you're not easy.

30
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,740
Ah!

31
00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:20,030
What's so funny?

32
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,610
Oh, I'm just trying
to picture you two down here

33
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:25,030
hanging over waffles
in the morning.

34
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:29,330
-It's been a process.
-Oh, I thought you hated Grace.

35
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:32,210
Hate's such a strong word.

36
00:03:32,290 --> 00:03:36,500
It's the word you used when
you said things like, "I hate Grace."

37
00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:39,510
Thank God I could vent about her
on our walks.

38
00:03:39,590 --> 00:03:42,180
You know,
she vented about you, too, sunshine.

39
00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:44,680
-When?
-On my walks I took with her

40
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,010
right after the walks I took with you.

41
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,350
-You did a lot of walking.
-I did.

42
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:52,770
-My ass looked good then.
-Your ass looks good now.

43
00:03:55,730 --> 00:03:59,530
So, how's Grace been managing
with all this drama?

44
00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:02,450
Like a champ. With my help, of course.

45
00:04:02,530 --> 00:04:05,700
And you know, like,
how she was always a skinny,

46
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,830
emotionally shut down drill sergeant?

47
00:04:07,910 --> 00:04:12,620
Now she's a skinny, not so
emotionally shut down drill sergeant.

48
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,210
Where is she?
I want to give her a squeeze.

49
00:04:15,290 --> 00:04:19,300
Upstairs sleeping. She's going through
a lot of rough stuff right now.

50
00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:21,920
I'm sure she'll tell you,
but it's very private,

51
00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:23,970
so it's not for me to say.

52
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,770
She reconnected with this guy
that she'd been in love with for years

53
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:30,970
and it didn't work out.

54
00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:33,770
He has a sick wife.

55
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:37,020
I'm sure she'll tell you.

56
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,190
If only her neighbor
were throwing a party,

57
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,110
maybe that'd cheer her up.

58
00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:44,780
-A Babe party?
-The Babe party.

59
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:47,530
It's gonna be the party
to end all parties.

60
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,740
I don't know how it could
beat the last one.

61
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:51,750
It went on for 24 hours.

62
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:54,120
Are you gonna have that little monkey
that picks pockets?

63
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,420
Oh, no. I'm done with her owner.

64
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,750
He doesn't think Patton Oswalt's funny.

65
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,590
Fuck that noise.

66
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:17,100
Turns out you are easy.

67
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,980
God, I've missed you.

68
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:26,570
I had some moments of missing you, too.

69
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:30,450
But I played it pretty close to the vest.

70
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,620
Feels good holding you again.

71
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,580
I thought you were holding me
so I didn't drop to the floor.

72
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,170
Sorry the bed's so small.

73
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:43,130
Don't be. It was the best night's sleep
I've had in weeks.

74
00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:46,930
Me, too.

75
00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,520
This place is way worse in the daylight.

76
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:58,310
Fortunately,
it never gets brighter than this.

77
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,320
Why would you move in here
in the first place?

78
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,690
I don't know.

79
00:06:05,610 --> 00:06:08,280
I guess after what I did to you...

80
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:12,410
it's what I thought I deserved.

81
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,040
I will never again doubt how bad you felt.

82
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,500
And I'm sorry.

83
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,300
Oh, good morning.

84
00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:30,390
Try again.

85
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:31,640
Bad morning?

86
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,470
Can I get you something?

87
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:39,480
A larger sphere of personal space.

88
00:06:40,270 --> 00:06:41,350
It's the one thing I'm out of.

89
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,730
Then, no.

90
00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:45,360
OK, here's what we need to do.

91
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:50,360
We're gonna start Frankie Bergstein's
three-step emotional healing system,

92
00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:52,870
-patent pending.
-No.

93
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:56,490
Step one: talk about it.
You need to purge.

94
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:59,000
-It's essential for closure.
-No.

95
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,920
And I've got watermelon.

96
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,460
It's everyone's favorite low-calorie food.

97
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:07,550
Basically celery
in a Lilly Pulitzer dress.

98
00:07:07,630 --> 00:07:10,630
Can we move on to step two
so I can say no to that?

99
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,760
Step two: art therapy.

100
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:16,100
-No.
-I soaked you an extra lump of clay.

101
00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:18,560
I just want to get into my bed...

102
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:23,770
and watch that show
where terrible people buy tiny houses.

103
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,980
All right. But I want you to know
I'm proud of you.

104
00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:29,950
I know it was hard to say no to Phil...

105
00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:34,950
but it's so much better that
you stopped it before it started.

106
00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:36,200
Yeah, well--

107
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,750
No, I'm not gonna let you
put a negative spin on this.

108
00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:40,910
You are my shero.

109
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,460
-Please don't tell me why.
-I'll tell you why.

110
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:46,130
You were strong
when you made a clean break.

111
00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:49,760
You weren't weak like I was
when I slept with Sol.

112
00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:57,350
Why are you defiling my watermelon?

113
00:07:57,430 --> 00:07:59,810
Because they don't sell them like this.

114
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:03,190
Isn't it a little early
for that watermelon to be drunk?

115
00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:05,610
I'm talking about you, Grace.
You're the watermelon.

116
00:08:05,690 --> 00:08:08,650
I'm not having it now.
It has to marinate.

117
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,190
I'm cooking.

118
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,110
You know, you should share that with Babe.
She's back.

119
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,280
She is?

120
00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,830
Oh, God, I'd love to see her,
but not right now.

121
00:08:18,910 --> 00:08:21,410
The boys are coming today to meet Jacob.

122
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,330
You want to join us for crafts?

123
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,790
You talking to me or the watermelon?
'Cause the watermelon's not coming.

124
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,500
I'm the watermelon.

125
00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:31,050
You want me to cancel
so I can be with you?

126
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:35,640
Oh, please don't feel hurt, but I...
I need some alone time.

127
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,760
Yes, alone time
is all part of the process.

128
00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:41,430
You can vlog. You can write
your feelings in the sand.

129
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:45,730
You can jump in the pool
and do some underwater yelling.

130
00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:49,940
I think I'm just gonna take myself
for a walk on the beach.

131
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,860
Mmm.

132
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,820
Best martini in town. Another.

133
00:08:56,910 --> 00:08:59,830
If you think I'm gonna ask you why
you're drinking at 11 in the morning,

134
00:08:59,910 --> 00:09:01,080
you've come to the wrong bartender.

135
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:05,870
That's exactly why I'm here.
No talking, just drinking.

136
00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,670
-Hey.
-Hey.

137
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,010
Are we really braiding garlic?

138
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:17,930
I think it's Mom's idea
of a group bonding activity.

139
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,100
Hm.

140
00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:20,930
Are you really packing a Dry Lady Dry?

141
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:22,180
Mom asked me to pick it up.

142
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,310
Man, I cannot believe
she is back on deodorant.

143
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:28,900
Well, maybe she's just trying to
get ahead of the garlic. Frankie B!

144
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:36,110
Up or down? Down or up?

145
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,740
-What?
-My hair.

146
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,450
Oh, down.

147
00:09:39,530 --> 00:09:41,490
Oh, God, I've got-- I better go fix it.

148
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,200
Oh, you know my...

149
00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:45,620
- What about my dress?
- Is it like too-- Is it--

150
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,670
I'm trying-- Am I trying too--
I mean, my hands are so sweaty.

151
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,590
I hope you like him. I think you will.

152
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:54,090
I know he's gonna like you.
He's really a great-- I'm-- I--

153
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:58,220
I'm pretty sure you'll like him, too.
I-- Oh, God, I'm so nervous.

154
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,050
You can't tell, can you? Really?

155
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,890
-Not at all.
-Whoa.

156
00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:10,110
Our mom is using store-bought deodorant
for a man that isn't our dad.

157
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:13,980
- Or Art Garfunkel.
- She is leaning in, man.

158
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:15,150
Yeah.

159
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,490
Do you think this guy's the real deal?

160
00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:19,240
Well, she seems pretty sure about him.

161
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,740
And she deserves to have somebody.
Maybe he's that someone.

162
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,200
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

163
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,250
Or maybe he's that someone
that blows in with all the sizzle and jazz

164
00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:28,790
of a master garlic braider,

165
00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:32,130
only he's braiding
someone else's garlic on the side.

166
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,250
-That would suck.
-Not on my watch.

167
00:10:34,340 --> 00:10:37,090
I'm really nervous now too.

168
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:44,890
Well, hey-hey. Here he is.

169
00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:48,730
Hey, guys. Great to finally meet you.
Your mom talks about you two all the time.

170
00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:51,150
I got a few more boxes in the car.

171
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,060
We will give you a hand.

172
00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:55,610
Bud...

173
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:57,110
-I love him.
-You just met him.

174
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,400
No, no, I can tell. He's solid, man.

175
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,870
-I got great instincts.
-You have terrible instincts.

176
00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:05,870
-That's what you're known for.
-No--

177
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:13,330
Suck on that, bitches.

178
00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:15,380
I think she's hustling us.

179
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:17,670
-Yeah.
-You're next, Abandoned Husband.

180
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,090
OK.

181
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:21,510
I hope you're not as bad as Workers' Comp.

182
00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:24,100
You think he'd be better
with all that free time on his hands.

183
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:29,100
Hey.

184
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:34,150
Hey, you. Excuse me. How much
do you have to drink to not feel anything?

185
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:38,070
If you're still asking...
you're not even close.

186
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:45,780
Hello?

187
00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:48,540
OK, maybe you should slow down.
It's 12:15.

188
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:51,040
But I'm having a good time
with my friends.

189
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,750
Workers' Comp,
Been-Here-Since-Last-Night,

190
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:58,130
-and...
-Abandoned Husband.

191
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,510
Yeah. I love these guys.

192
00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:05,930
Hey, let's start a darsleague.
Darts league.

193
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:09,270
A round for my darts league.

194
00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:10,520
We need a name.

195
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,230
"Who Darted"?

196
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,400
-Did you get it?
-Yeah.

197
00:12:21,110 --> 00:12:23,780
Hey, that's some pretty stellar braiding
you got going on.

198
00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:25,320
Oh, thanks.

199
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:26,990
Bud, look at you.

200
00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:29,410
-Yeah.
-Super first attempt.

201
00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:31,870
Thanks, but I've actually done it before.

202
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,250
Hey, man. Every braid is unique.

203
00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,830
I think it was Thoreau who said,

204
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:40,460
"I was not designed to be forced.
I will breathe after my own fashion."

205
00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:43,630
-Whoa.
-Even your depths have depth.

206
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,720
-So good.
-I have no idea what you just said.

207
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,510
So what can you tell us about yourself,
Jacob?

208
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,640
Well, I was born in a pretty small town
in upstate New York--

209
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,390
Mom said you were married.
What happened there?

210
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,230
-When and how did things go south?
-Bud.

211
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,230
Oh, it's OK. I don't mind.

212
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,900
My ex-wife wanted out of the marriage,

213
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,570
but, um, it was the right thing to do
for both of us.

214
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,950
-Was it amicable?
-Oh, yeah. We're good.

215
00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:08,450
She's remarried,
but we still do holidays together.

216
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:10,030
On too-good-to-be-true-island?

217
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:14,210
I think it's super cool
that you have a farm.

218
00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:17,580
Yes. How are your yields?
Do you do OK for yourself?

219
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:19,840
I'm comfortable.

220
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,960
Well, that is a relief because, uh,

221
00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:26,260
Mom's not as wealthy as this beach house
might lead a person to believe.

222
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,140
How was the shower?

223
00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:37,560
The shower is worse than the bed.
And I would use the word "shower" loosely.

224
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,820
It's more of a random drip.
I had to run around to get fully wet.

225
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,980
Sorry. And don't use the hair dryer.

226
00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:44,940
It's downright dangerous.

227
00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:47,070
Unless you need to light the stove.

228
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,620
Sit down. Breakfast is served.

229
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:51,870
Doesn't this look lovely.

230
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:55,200
Special K or Corn Chex?

231
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:56,870
Offering a selection, are we?

232
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,460
But of course.

233
00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:00,130
<i>Merci.</i>

234
00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:02,960
Special moment. Special K.

235
00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:09,470
We only have one spoon. I'll use the fork.

236
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:10,550
You don't mind?

237
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:14,020
It actually achieves
the perfect milk-to-cereal ratio

238
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:17,390
I've been searching for my entire life.

239
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,860
<i>- Bon appétit.</i>

240
00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:33,990
Right on time.

241
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,160
-Every day?
-Every day I've been here.

242
00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:47,050
Sir? If I may?

243
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,950
We gotta get out of here.

244
00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:15,870
And quickly too. Let's go home.

245
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:18,160
Boom. What else you got?

246
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,540
Concerns about your drinking?

247
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:22,500
Well, then you're in the wrong
line of work, sissy.

248
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:27,380
Hey... for this next one,
surprise me.

249
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,300
OK, I have the perfect thing.

250
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:36,260
What's in there?

251
00:15:36,350 --> 00:15:38,310
It is a water and water with a water back.

252
00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:42,150
-I'm not thirsty, I just want a drink.
-You need to take a breather.

253
00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:44,940
-No, you're too drunk!
-I'm cutting you off.

254
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:47,780
Oh, yeah?
Well, we'll just see about that.

255
00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:50,110
Somebody, give me a boost.

256
00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:51,990
-Ah...
-I knew it'd be you.

257
00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:58,370
Now you have to serve me.
It's the law.

258
00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:01,290
Ah...

259
00:16:01,370 --> 00:16:03,040
Hey! Hey! That is it.

260
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,960
You guys, that is it.

261
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:06,960
Get off!

262
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,260
Hey, off! Go. I am taking you home.

263
00:16:09,340 --> 00:16:10,760
Where are your keys and where is your car?

264
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,180
- At home.
- OK, fine.

265
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,470
I'm gonna put you in a cab.

266
00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:18,890
No, I'm putting you in a cab.
I'm putting all of you in a cab!

267
00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:21,600
Why are you going all<i> Leaving Las Vegas</i>
on me right now?

268
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,230
I mean seriously,
what is wrong with you today?

269
00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:26,020
I thought you were the bartender
who doesn't ask questions?

270
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:30,230
Usually, yeah. That guy you just kissed?
Abandoned Husband? His name is Pete.

271
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,900
And Been-Here-Since-Last-Night?
That is his wife.

272
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:39,910
You mean Abandoned Husband is just...
Husband?

273
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:43,120
Oh, God, they're all over the place.

274
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,960
Let's leave before you do
something else you'll regret.

275
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,460
No, I don't want to go home.

276
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:48,960
They talk too much about feelings there.
I hate it.

277
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,670
OK, you're going home. Come on.

278
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:55,550
And you know what else? I lied.
You don't make the best martinis in town.

279
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,890
Cheesecake Factory does.

280
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:02,270
Are you a fan of whimsy? Answer carefully.

281
00:17:02,350 --> 00:17:04,060
Hey! Hey! Cashmere. Cashmere.

282
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:06,230
Are you interrogating my boyfriend?

283
00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:08,810
No. I'm just asking a series
of pointed questions

284
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:10,900
in order to get the truth.
That's different.

285
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:14,360
You are supposed to build bridges
with garlic and words.

286
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,280
Or... find out if he has
a secret love child with Cher.

287
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,240
You have asked him that five different
times in five different ways

288
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,040
and his answer every time is "no."

289
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:25,080
That's not true. The last time his answer
was, "Why do you keep asking me that?"

290
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,460
What is this about? Do you not like Jacob?

291
00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:30,960
- He seems perfectly nice.
- He is.

292
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,510
Until he's not.

293
00:17:32,590 --> 00:17:36,550
Dad's the nicest guy in the world
and he broke your heart.

294
00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:40,100
-I mean, what's this guy gonna do?
-I don't know.

295
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:43,850
Yeah. That answer terrifies me.

296
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,520
I just-- I can't let you get hurt again.

297
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,480
Well, I may be hurt again,

298
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,900
because sometimes that's what happens
in a relationship.

299
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,280
And it's not your job
to protect me from that.

300
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:57,450
-I feel like it is.
-I'm telling you it isn't.

301
00:17:57,530 --> 00:17:59,450
I just want to make sure
that somebody's looking out for you.

302
00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:01,280
Oh, sweetheart.

303
00:18:01,370 --> 00:18:05,750
Why don't you chill the eff out
and give Jacob a chance?

304
00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:10,290
No, wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute, wait.

305
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,380
You worked on the Hubble telescope?

306
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,880
I worked on a team that worked for a team

307
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:18,930
that worked on the Hubble telescope.

308
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,720
He's being modest.

309
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,430
-He has a letter from the president.
-No way.

310
00:18:23,510 --> 00:18:25,770
Once I was held back
from riding an elevator

311
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:28,310
because the first lady
was riding in it.

312
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:34,320
Do you have stories?
Or is it-- Is it top secret?

313
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,150
I get it. I get it.

314
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,280
You'll tell me later.

315
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,700
I can fix it.

316
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:42,070
Grace?

317
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:48,250
I like one-third cake,
one-third berries and two-thirds cream.

318
00:18:48,330 --> 00:18:49,500
That's four-thirds.

319
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:51,130
I guess it is.

320
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:54,960
Here she comes. Ooh.

321
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,340
-Are you drunk?
-Oh, I hope so. I drank enough.

322
00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:00,590
Oh...

323
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,970
Oh, that is so good.

324
00:19:08,270 --> 00:19:10,270
Why don't I eat cake more?

325
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,770
Oh.

326
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,650
How about some coffee?

327
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,480
Nah, it keeps me up.

328
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,860
Mmm.

329
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,450
-Oh, how are you, Jacob?
-Can't complain.

330
00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:24,330
Oh, you guys, you make a great couple.

331
00:19:25,410 --> 00:19:27,620
You're gonna make
beautiful babies one day.

332
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,660
Oh, I think that ship has sailed.

333
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:34,500
Oh, right. Because
you're afraid of sex in the vagina.

334
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:38,380
-OK. Party's over.
-No. Why?

335
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:40,590
You're always telling me to eat
and I'm eating.

336
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,260
This is how I do it.
Bud told me he was done.

337
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:46,810
-Bud did not say that.
-Grace, what are my eyes saying?

338
00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:49,100
Oh, probably more of your hippie bullshit.

339
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,980
-That was harsh.
-OK.

340
00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:52,690
I think somebody's ready for bed.

341
00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:56,190
No! No, I'm ready to purge.

342
00:19:56,270 --> 00:19:58,480
Isn't that what we do here?
We purge our feelings.

343
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:01,490
That along with a bunch of other stuff.

344
00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:07,030
Come on. Beddy-bye. This is not the time
or the place to purge our feelings.

345
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,080
-Come on, you goonch.
-Passive resistance.

346
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,540
-No, use your feet.
-Is that what gets you off?

347
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:12,920
You're being mean to me.

348
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,630
Because I just realized how much
better off I was without you.

349
00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:18,800
How can you say that to me?

350
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,760
-Because you're a bully.
-How am I a bully?

351
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,090
You bullied me into Phil.
You bully me into feelings.

352
00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:28,140
I don't want to feel!

353
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:30,810
Then don't. I don't care.

354
00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:33,810
You liar. You do care.

355
00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:37,060
Because if your "Better Grace"
project doesn't work out,

356
00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:40,400
I'm just like everything else you do.
A total failure!

357
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,320
And we're done. Come on.

358
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,160
Oh! I'm not done! I'm still eating.
Give me some cake.

359
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,620
-Take it to go.
-I love him.

360
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:52,040
-Where do you want her?
-How about the middle of the ocean?

361
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,250
No, no, no. She's-- She's just kidding.

362
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:58,340
Hey, she was just kidding.
She was just kidding.

363
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,130
You OK?

364
00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:03,550
Oh, yeah.

365
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,390
Mm. That looks good, love.
Thank you for making dinner.

366
00:21:09,470 --> 00:21:13,520
Thank you for going "Mm" when
you know it's cashew-cheese lasagna.

367
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,490
What?

368
00:21:23,570 --> 00:21:25,400
Nothing, it's just...

369
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:29,530
All I can see is you hunched over there
after the heart attack.

370
00:21:30,910 --> 00:21:35,160
And I haven't been able to sit there
since the night you told me about Frankie.

371
00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:38,170
Maybe we should eat in the dining room?

372
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:41,630
Where Grace and I told our daughters
I was leaving her?

373
00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:44,470
-That was a fun brunch.
-Right.

374
00:21:44,550 --> 00:21:46,130
How about the sun room?

375
00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:50,430
Where Stan Singer almost caught us
kissing New Year's Eve, 1999?

376
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:53,020
Why did we risk kissing that night,
anyway?

377
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:55,890
It was Y2K.
We thought the world was ending.

378
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,020
Ahh...

379
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:58,900
I suppose we could eat on the stairs.

380
00:21:58,980 --> 00:22:01,230
Where you almost bludgeoned me
with a toilet plunger?

381
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,570
It's this whole house, isn't it?

382
00:22:08,570 --> 00:22:09,910
But it's your house.

383
00:22:09,990 --> 00:22:12,160
But it's never been ours.

384
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,700
I was happier this morning
with you in that dump.

385
00:22:15,450 --> 00:22:17,290
-You want to go back?
-No, no.

386
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,250
But I think we should
call a realtor in the morning.

387
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:23,630
Wow. That's...

388
00:22:25,380 --> 00:22:27,170
an exciting idea.

389
00:22:28,550 --> 00:22:30,840
But where do we
actually eat tonight's dinner?

390
00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:33,180
-At a restaurant.
-Mm!

391
00:22:38,810 --> 00:22:39,770
OK.

392
00:22:58,250 --> 00:22:59,920
Frankie?

393
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,500
Frankie?

394
00:23:09,630 --> 00:23:12,430
"I threw away your alcohol.
You're welcome.

395
00:23:12,510 --> 00:23:15,180
And don't worry,
I recycled the bottles."

396
00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:18,310
Oh, fuck.

397
00:23:19,730 --> 00:23:21,190
Oh...

398
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:52,890
I can't believe how mad I am
that Grace made me so mad.

399
00:23:52,970 --> 00:23:56,510
I mean, she was so drunk,
I don't even know why I was listening,

400
00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:00,140
although sometimes that's when
the things you really mean come out.

401
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:03,850
When you're not thinking.
That's the whole theory behind improv.

402
00:24:03,940 --> 00:24:06,730
I'm gonna have a hell of a walk
with her tomorrow.

403
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:10,570
Oh, please don't. She's too mean
to deserve a walk with you.

404
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:14,370
I hate to change the subject but,
critical juncture:

405
00:24:14,450 --> 00:24:17,620
Racing car or snail in a top hat?

406
00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:21,040
What about cross-eyed bear?
I feel bad for him.

407
00:24:21,910 --> 00:24:24,380
Marty Feldman,
you're coming to the party.

408
00:24:24,460 --> 00:24:27,460
He's so cute.

409
00:24:27,540 --> 00:24:30,090
Almost makes you think twice
about beating him to a pulp,

410
00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:31,630
which I am going to do.

411
00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:37,010
Beep, beep! Beep, beep!
Beep, beep!

412
00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:44,310
Fuck.

413
00:24:47,690 --> 00:24:49,270
Oh.

414
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:51,650
Come on.

415
00:25:00,410 --> 00:25:03,040
I'm sorry, ma'am,
it looks like we're all out of that size.

416
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:06,250
-We have other brands.
-No. Just give me the size you do have.

417
00:25:06,330 --> 00:25:10,550
We have these fun little baby sized ones.
I mean, not baby as in a baby, but--

418
00:25:10,630 --> 00:25:14,170
Great.
How many of these equal a regular bottle?

419
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:17,090
Like, probably a hundred.

420
00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,240
We've got masks, we got pilgrim hats,

421
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,860
we got a great deal
on 2013 sunglasses.

422
00:25:35,950 --> 00:25:38,320
We just need that kid to come back
with the helium.

423
00:25:38,410 --> 00:25:42,240
Now I appreciate you letting me
put whatever I want into the cart,

424
00:25:42,330 --> 00:25:45,080
but I'm a little confused as to theme.

425
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,460
I have a theory, dare I say wish...?

426
00:25:47,540 --> 00:25:48,790
Hit me.

427
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,800
A sweet sixteen party
for your breast reduction.

428
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,590
Close.

429
00:25:54,670 --> 00:25:57,260
-A bon voyage party.
-For you?

430
00:25:57,340 --> 00:26:00,430
<i>- Pour moi.</i>

431
00:26:00,510 --> 00:26:01,970
I don't know French.

432
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:06,690
Well, if you want a tarot card reading
from Jean-Pierre, I suggest you learn.

433
00:26:06,770 --> 00:26:10,060
Are you really going away again?
You just got back.

434
00:26:10,150 --> 00:26:13,230
I'm still basking in the glow
of your<i> joie de vivre.</i>

435
00:26:14,070 --> 00:26:16,360
I do know French.

436
00:26:16,450 --> 00:26:18,860
Where are you going this time?
Can I tag along?

437
00:26:18,950 --> 00:26:21,490
I'm sorry, honey, you can't come.

438
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:25,790
Please? I'm really fun to be with,
and I really need a vacation from Grace.

439
00:26:25,870 --> 00:26:29,250
-I'm sure you do, but this isn't it.
-Why?

440
00:26:29,330 --> 00:26:34,460
Because I'm going to the one place
you don't come back from.

441
00:26:34,550 --> 00:26:36,510
A Carnival cruise?

442
00:26:36,590 --> 00:26:38,760
No, sunshine.

443
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,510
That's not where I'm going.

444
00:26:40,590 --> 00:26:43,760
Ma'am? Would you like me
to ring this up for you?

445
00:26:43,850 --> 00:26:45,430
-Yes, please.
-OK.

446
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,440
Bye-bye, Babe.

447
00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:53,110
The party to end all parties.

448
00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:56,360
My God.

449
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,400
And I need you to help me.

450
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,750
Oh, come on!

451
00:27:18,170 --> 00:27:19,220
Hello?

452
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:22,850
Hey, Frankie. It's Grace.

453
00:27:22,930 --> 00:27:25,510
I need you to come pick me up.

454
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,810
Find your own way home.

455
00:27:27,890 --> 00:27:31,650
Oh, wait. I have coupons.