1
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,630
[blowing raspberry]

2
00:00:49,885 --> 00:00:52,595
You're chipper. Before coffee.

3
00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:54,681
I'm teaching today.

4
00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,559
And I'd really appreciate
it if you would try for once

5
00:00:57,642 --> 00:00:59,519
to be polite to my students.

6
00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:01,688
I am polite to your convicts.

7
00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:04,774
They, however, have no respect for my home.

8
00:01:04,858 --> 00:01:07,694
I saw one peeing out of your
studio window into the pool.

9
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,280
That's why God invented chlorine.

10
00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:14,117
- Look at your healthy breakfast.
- I know.

11
00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:20,874
Yum! Double yum!

12
00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:23,168
- You want some?
- No thank you.

13
00:01:24,544 --> 00:01:26,796
Wait, what is there...
Is there something...

14
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,591
Is your cap loose? Open your mouth.

15
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:30,675
Up here on this side.

16
00:01:30,759 --> 00:01:33,970
- Oh! God!
- [laughing]

17
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,434
Now you can't eat until Monday.

18
00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,437
[cell phone chimes]

19
00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:46,649
- It's "lovestolaugh".
- Oh! From the alta cocker site?

20
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,360
I "tickled" him last night.
And he "squeezed" me back.

21
00:01:49,444 --> 00:01:53,282
Enough with this tickling,
blinking, and butterfly kisses.

22
00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:55,366
Why don't you go out with somebody already!

23
00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:58,620
Oh, God, he wants me to have
lunch today. I can't do that.

24
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,622
Oh, why not?!

25
00:02:00,705 --> 00:02:03,708
He's a perfect match. Except
for the "loves to laugh" part.

26
00:02:03,792 --> 00:02:07,045
It's too fast. I don't know him.

27
00:02:07,129 --> 00:02:09,923
If you met him, you might know
him. That's how it works sometimes.

28
00:02:11,258 --> 00:02:15,720
Okay, but not today. I woke up
puffy, and my hair's not behaving.

29
00:02:15,804 --> 00:02:20,100
What is the point of doing all this
if you never go out with anybody?

30
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,560
Well, maybe that is the point.

31
00:02:22,644 --> 00:02:26,648
I enjoy the positive feedback of a tickle
and I never have to leave the house.

32
00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:30,902
Or... and this is just
me thinking out loud...

33
00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:34,530
you go out... and you get laid.

34
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:38,827
God, why are you rushing me into this?

35
00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:42,289
Who's rushing you? You've been
on that thing for a month now,

36
00:02:42,372 --> 00:02:45,959
punching and fingering people and
you always find a reason not to go.

37
00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:49,379
I am not punching, or fingering, anyone.

38
00:02:49,462 --> 00:02:51,923
But you do have a point.

39
00:02:52,007 --> 00:02:53,466
Okay. Oh, God.

40
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:58,763
My first date. In 40 years.
But it's just lunch, right?

41
00:02:58,847 --> 00:03:01,766
Yes. And lunch is no big deal.

42
00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:02,976
Here...

43
00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,484
Here, you might need these.

44
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:14,988
- I'm going to a bistro, not having sex!
- [chuckles] Why not?

45
00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:19,075
You'd be too bloated from the
one piece of kale you might eat?

46
00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:23,038
[scoffs] Why do I need condoms anyway?
I'm not exactly a pregnancy risk.

47
00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:24,956
Well, no shit.

48
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,417
But with all the new penis drugs out there,

49
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:31,754
old people are doing it like
rabbits and the STDs are on the rise.

50
00:03:31,838 --> 00:03:35,133
I read that in an AARP magazine.

51
00:03:35,217 --> 00:03:37,344
How old are these?

52
00:03:37,427 --> 00:03:40,055
Maybe I should check to see
if they've turned to dust.

53
00:03:40,138 --> 00:03:43,308
I only have three and a
half hours to get ready.

54
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:54,569
- Where are my pills?
- They're in the bathroom.

55
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:57,406
- What? Why?
- Because that's where pills belong.

56
00:03:57,488 --> 00:04:01,034
- But I like them in the kitchen.
- Well, that's insane.

57
00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:04,454
It's not insane if you take
your pills after breakfast.

58
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:07,082
Okay, Sol. Here is what you do.

59
00:04:07,165 --> 00:04:09,792
You go, "Mmm, now that was a breakfast."

60
00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:13,963
Then you walk to the bathroom
and take your pills there.

61
00:04:14,047 --> 00:04:15,424
And I'm the crazy one?

62
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,260
The extra walking alone
will take years off my life.

63
00:04:18,343 --> 00:04:20,387
Do you understand the concept of exercise?

64
00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:22,555
The label says take with food.

65
00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:24,474
- Not take after a 5K.
- [laughing]

66
00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:27,769
- You're laughing at me?
- No, no. No, no, sorry.

67
00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:29,896
Look at us. We're bickering.

68
00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:33,442
- Right.
- [laughing]

69
00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:37,570
Let's stay home tonight.
Just the two of us.

70
00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:41,324
- We'll watch the Almodovar film.
- Si, and eat paella.

71
00:04:41,408 --> 00:04:43,326
I love paella. You can make paella?

72
00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:45,120
No, but I can make the restaurant make it,

73
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,663
- and have them bring it over.
- You're so powerful.

74
00:04:47,747 --> 00:04:51,167
? Clean up the kitchen
Gonna shine up the pots ?

75
00:04:51,251 --> 00:04:55,671
? You're gonna make a supper
When the dishes are dry ?

76
00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:01,094
[loud rumbling]

77
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:07,809
[shrieking]

78
00:05:09,102 --> 00:05:10,853
Drop, cover, hold on!

79
00:05:10,937 --> 00:05:13,189
- Are you okay?
- Earthquake!

80
00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:16,901
- It was barely a rumble.
- Were you in Sylmar in 1971?!

81
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:20,405
Because I was! I saw a
little boy crushed by a tree.

82
00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:22,615
- You did?!
- Well, it was a lawn jockey,

83
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:26,202
but it looked like a little
boy. It was very traumatizing.

84
00:05:26,286 --> 00:05:27,496
I barely felt this one.

85
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,415
Shallow quakes produce more aftershocks.

86
00:05:30,499 --> 00:05:34,085
Or worse, it was a foreshock
before the mainshock.

87
00:05:34,169 --> 00:05:37,130
- Get away from the wall!
- Will you be reasonable?

88
00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:38,881
Mother Nature has no reason!

89
00:05:38,965 --> 00:05:41,426
Get under here. Get under here!

90
00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:43,636
I am not going to get
under the table. Frankie?

91
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:44,971
[clears throat]

92
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:47,140
Take a look. What do you
think? Am I trying too hard?

93
00:05:47,223 --> 00:05:48,933
- Trying...?
- To look young.

94
00:05:49,017 --> 00:05:52,395
I can't watch you die! Please
don't make me watch you die!

95
00:05:52,479 --> 00:05:54,939
- You're right, the scarf's too much.
- What you have to do,

96
00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:58,485
find a heavy object to make a sloping roof.

97
00:05:58,568 --> 00:06:01,279
Triangle! Grace, triangle!

98
00:06:01,363 --> 00:06:03,156
Frankie, will you come out from there.

99
00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:05,700
That "triangle of life"
thing isn't even true.

100
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:09,996
Don't tell me that! It's
all I have to believe in!

101
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:18,046
- You all right?!
- I'm fine. It was just a rumbler.

102
00:06:18,129 --> 00:06:19,881
- You sure?
- Of course I'm sure.

103
00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:22,300
- Good. I have to go.
- Wh-what do you mean?

104
00:06:22,384 --> 00:06:25,011
- Where are you going?
- I have to go check on Frankie.

105
00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:29,098
- Why don't you just call her?
- She has this... Seismophobia.

106
00:06:29,182 --> 00:06:32,143
It's extreme. Don't ever
try to take her to Sylmar.

107
00:06:32,227 --> 00:06:34,521
But I thought we'd have the day together.

108
00:06:34,604 --> 00:06:36,314
I'll come right back.

109
00:06:36,398 --> 00:06:40,402
Seriously, she freaks out.
It's her first quake alone.

110
00:06:40,485 --> 00:06:43,696
And the only one there to
give her comfort is Grace.

111
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:44,906
Go.

112
00:06:47,909 --> 00:06:50,161
Drive safe.

113
00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:52,038
[door closes]

114
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,420
[sighs]

115
00:06:59,421 --> 00:07:00,755
- Xanax?
- No.

116
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:03,925
- Uh, Ativan?
- No.

117
00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:07,512
- Klonopin? Ambien?
- No, no. I have to stay alert.

118
00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:11,266
Vodka! Vodka is good.

119
00:07:11,349 --> 00:07:12,808
Vodka and Klonopin?

120
00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:14,060
- No.
- Even better.

121
00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:17,355
Was it more than twenty
seconds? More means tsunami risk.

122
00:07:17,439 --> 00:07:20,525
Go check the ocean. Oh,
no! Don't go near it!

123
00:07:20,609 --> 00:07:24,904
Frankie, enough. The San Andreas
Fault's 100 miles from here.

124
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:30,952
It's 50! And the Rose Canyon
Fault is right under us!

125
00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:32,161
- [phone chiming]
- I'll get it.

126
00:07:32,245 --> 00:07:36,416
Don't answer it! Leave the phone
lines open for emergency purposes!

127
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,167
It's Bud. He's calling to check on you.

128
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:40,211
- I should tell him to come over.
- [screaming] No!

129
00:07:40,295 --> 00:07:43,632
- The-the overpass could be crumbling!
- [chiming stops]

130
00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:49,512
Okay, now I am late for "lovestolaugh",
who you said I had to meet.

131
00:07:49,596 --> 00:07:51,973
If you want me to have a date and a laugh,

132
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:53,808
which I could really use right now,

133
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:56,311
then would you please come out from there?

134
00:07:56,394 --> 00:07:59,314
Oh, God. Did you... did
you turn off the gas?

135
00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:02,108
- What would I do that for?
- There could be fires.

136
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,192
Oh, sweating.

137
00:08:05,445 --> 00:08:07,905
Look, I'm not a coddler, okay?

138
00:08:07,989 --> 00:08:10,825
I mean, if I were, then I
would, but I'm not, so I can't.

139
00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:13,578
So you have to get the hell off the floor!

140
00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:15,371
Here. Here.

141
00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:18,749
Massage my chest. It's a thing.

142
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,586
- It's not a thing I would do.
- I can't breathe.

143
00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:24,422
- Frankie?!
- Oh! Sol!

144
00:08:24,506 --> 00:08:27,300
I never thought I'd be
so happy to see you again.

145
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:31,012
It was a 4.3 lasting 6.8 seconds.

146
00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:35,517
No casualties, outages, or serious damage.

147
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,435
Oh.

148
00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:41,022
- Are you belly breathing?
- No.

149
00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:45,694
- In-two-three-four.
- [inhales deeply]

150
00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:49,947
- Out-two-three-four.
- [exhales deeply]

151
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:53,451
Think of your happy place.

152
00:08:53,535 --> 00:08:57,163
I can't. This is it. And it's going to
fall through the earth at any moment.

153
00:08:57,246 --> 00:09:00,833
- Out-of-state happy place.
- Okay.

154
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,502
Yeah.

155
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:06,797
- Good. Good.
- [sigh of relief]

156
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,982
Do we need to get a restraining order?

157
00:09:25,066 --> 00:09:29,362
No. No, I didn't even think that you...

158
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:32,323
I did call, but you didn't answer...

159
00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:34,450
It's probably because
you saw it was me calling.

160
00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:36,452
What are you doing here?

161
00:09:37,412 --> 00:09:40,498
- I brought you a gay penguin book.
- What?

162
00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:43,292
It's for the kids.

163
00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:48,047
You said that they were
having trouble understanding.

164
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,759
And I thought that this
might help explain how...

165
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:55,012
How two penguins can have a secret
homosexual affair for twenty years?

166
00:09:55,096 --> 00:09:57,932
No, we're gonna write that book.

167
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,768
This is a more generalized...

168
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:02,019
You know, it's gay penguin... information.

169
00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:09,277
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

170
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,112
What's going on over there?

171
00:10:13,406 --> 00:10:15,742
We're taking Maddie off the pacifiers,

172
00:10:15,825 --> 00:10:19,537
so we planted them, and
now lollipops will grow.

173
00:10:19,621 --> 00:10:22,791
Oh, I don't think you
understand how gardening works.

174
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,959
I don't think you
understand how children work.

175
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,085
[chuckles]

176
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,504
Why doesn't your bike have a seat on it?

177
00:10:28,588 --> 00:10:32,007
Oh, I traded it for the gay penguin book.

178
00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:33,926
Right.

179
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,261
Are the kids home?

180
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,556
Coyote, I do not think that's a good idea.

181
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,810
Right. No, I was...

182
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:46,314
I was just wondering if one of them had
a bike seat that I could borrow, but...

183
00:10:46,397 --> 00:10:48,107
Okay. Let me see what I can do.

184
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,652
Can you just stay out of
trouble for five minutes?

185
00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:51,861
Let's find out.

186
00:10:53,321 --> 00:10:54,489
[sighs]

187
00:10:59,494 --> 00:11:04,039
[laughing] That's amazing!
Look at that. So cool!

188
00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:05,249
Waaah!

189
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:14,425
Your first Internet date?

190
00:11:14,509 --> 00:11:17,219
I'm honored. It's... Pinch me.

191
00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:20,682
- [laughs]
- So... Have you done it much?

192
00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:23,518
Th... This?

193
00:11:23,601 --> 00:11:27,605
Oh. Well, some.

194
00:11:27,689 --> 00:11:30,232
- Just watch out for the liars.
- Oh?

195
00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,234
Well, it's one thing to
shave off a few years.

196
00:11:32,318 --> 00:11:35,363
It's another thing to say you play
tennis every day but you're really...

197
00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:37,490
in a wheelchair and on oxygen.

198
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,534
[laughs]

199
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,163
So, what do you like to do?

200
00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:46,290
Play tennis every day.

201
00:11:46,374 --> 00:11:48,334
- That's funny!
- [laughter]

202
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:51,212
- No, actually, I love tennis.
- Me, too. Any golf?

203
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:52,797
- I love golf.
- Me, too.

204
00:11:52,881 --> 00:11:55,383
- And the symphony.
- I have a box!

205
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:57,301
- Really?
- Yes, but between us,

206
00:11:57,385 --> 00:11:59,011
I'm not that big on modern music.

207
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,389
It always sounds like something
falling down the stairs to me.

208
00:12:01,472 --> 00:12:03,516
I stop at Stravinsky.

209
00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:07,812
I yield at Stravinsky.
I stop at Shostakovich.

210
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:13,526
I'd like a steak salad.
Very rare. No croutons.

211
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:16,654
That is a drop dead gorgeous
order. I'll have the same.

212
00:12:16,738 --> 00:12:19,574
- And to drink, I'd like an iced tea.
- Damn, you are good.

213
00:12:19,657 --> 00:12:21,701
Bring me one of those.

214
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:24,370
On second thought, I'll have a
dry vodka martini with a twist.

215
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:28,875
Ditto that. Ditto dry, ditto vodka,
ditto martini, and ditto twist.

216
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:31,335
- We got it.
- [chuckles]

217
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:44,139
[exhales loudly]

218
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:47,727
One more.

219
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,107
[loud exhale]

220
00:12:55,526 --> 00:12:57,946
- You ready?
- Think so.

221
00:13:03,451 --> 00:13:05,411
Watch your head.

222
00:13:10,416 --> 00:13:11,626
You okay?

223
00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:14,796
Keep breathing.

224
00:13:14,879 --> 00:13:17,423
[exhales loudly]

225
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:21,260
See? Everything is just as it was.

226
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,179
Well, not exactly.

227
00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:28,768
Right. The house is just as it was.

228
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:31,729
That. Is that a crack in the ceiling?

229
00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:36,609
Coyote's graduation party.
No idea how he got up there.

230
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,782
Is that yours?

231
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,325
Yes.

232
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,747
It's different for you. It's transcendent.

233
00:13:49,831 --> 00:13:51,248
I have goose bumps.

234
00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:53,876
Maybe you need a sweater.

235
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,671
I think you're feeling better.

236
00:13:57,672 --> 00:14:00,257
- I think so.
- Well, I should...

237
00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:03,093
- Go.
- Yes.

238
00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:09,391
- You hungry?
- Starving.

239
00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:10,893
Maybe a bite?

240
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:15,773
Yeah!

241
00:14:15,857 --> 00:14:18,067
There it is! [grunts]

242
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:19,902
Hey, buddy!

243
00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:24,032
What the fuck are you doing here?

244
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:27,284
Oh, shit. Mitch, I'm just outside.

245
00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:29,829
What are you doing at my house?
If you go near my wife again,

246
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:33,415
I am gonna kick you in the balls so
hard that they go into your throat.

247
00:14:33,499 --> 00:14:36,502
Okay, it's really good
that you're a lady doctor,

248
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,880
because, you know,
that's-that's not how it works.

249
00:14:38,963 --> 00:14:41,423
Oh, well, let me make it
medically accurate for you.

250
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:44,760
I am going to jam your windpipe
full of your own testicles.

251
00:14:44,844 --> 00:14:47,221
[Coyote] Okay, that
doesn't sound fun for me.

252
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,557
Okay, this is for you. Go.

253
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,183
- Is that my bike seat?
- Go.

254
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,560
- Thank you, Mallory.
- You. Shush.

255
00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:54,729
I'll mail it back to you
when I get a real one.

256
00:14:54,812 --> 00:14:56,564
It was nice chatting with you, Mitch.

257
00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,775
I thought we agreed that
loser was out of our lives.

258
00:14:59,859 --> 00:15:02,653
He needs to know that
he can't just come here.

259
00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:05,406
So you want me to tell
my future stepbrother

260
00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:07,950
that he can't come over to our house?

261
00:15:09,035 --> 00:15:11,787
Plenty of people don't let their
stepbrothers in their houses.

262
00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:14,040
He didn't come in.

263
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,418
I'm never getting that
bike seat back, am I?

264
00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:20,170
- Probably not.
- Swell.

265
00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:24,466
You ever wonder how they
age steak so it doesn't rot?

266
00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:30,264
Look, if I'm too much, just
say, "Charlie, it's too much."

267
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,058
Charles, it's a bit much.

268
00:15:32,141 --> 00:15:33,684
[laughs]

269
00:15:33,768 --> 00:15:37,813
See, that's what I love about
you! You just let me have it!

270
00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:40,524
I mean, look at her! Can you
believe I met her online?!

271
00:15:40,608 --> 00:15:42,985
Charles, please, can
you keep your voice down?

272
00:15:43,069 --> 00:15:45,446
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm a little deaf in one ear.

273
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:47,698
It kind of throws off my volume control.

274
00:15:47,782 --> 00:15:52,494
It's just... [inhales deeply] I'm
just so excited to be with you!

275
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,129
What? Do-do I have something on...

276
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,713
You've got a great mouth, kid.

277
00:16:02,797 --> 00:16:03,965
What?

278
00:16:04,048 --> 00:16:06,134
I wish I was that steak
that you are eating.

279
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:10,179
Watching you eat that steak, it's
like watching Bernstein conduct

280
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:12,264
- the overture to "Candide."
- Miss?

281
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:15,101
Would you please throw this
away and bring the check.

282
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:30,908
It feels good to just look at you.

283
00:16:30,992 --> 00:16:34,328
Don't do that, I'm not ready for that.

284
00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:35,997
- [rumbling]
- [shouts]

285
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,666
No! Cement truck.

286
00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:43,171
Okay, okay.

287
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:44,630
Belly breathe.

288
00:16:45,965 --> 00:16:48,676
- I... I hate this.
- What?

289
00:16:48,759 --> 00:16:52,554
This. We're acting normal
and nothing's normal.

290
00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:56,391
I am really sorry. No, I'm beyond sorry.

291
00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,936
Of all the human beings in the world...

292
00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:01,814
- I have a question.
- Okay.

293
00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:04,525
It's something I can't stop thinking about,

294
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:07,277
which is, believe me, really not fun.

295
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:11,240
How did it start with Robert?

296
00:17:14,118 --> 00:17:17,079
Oh. Um...

297
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:20,124
Are you sure you want to know?

298
00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:24,128
Well, I'll be dead as soon as the
aftershock hits anyway, so, yes.

299
00:17:24,212 --> 00:17:26,922
[whimpers]

300
00:17:27,006 --> 00:17:31,301
Is that... a word or is
that just your acid reflux?

301
00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:35,223
It's just I didn't expect
to be doing this today.

302
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,807
Me neither.

303
00:17:36,891 --> 00:17:38,642
[sighs]

304
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:46,316
We were at a law conference in New York.

305
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,695
- Yeah.
- Robert and I...

306
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:51,780
We'd had a good day.

307
00:17:51,864 --> 00:17:54,700
Did you know the Brooklyn
Bridge has a secret room?

308
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:59,454
- It's full of crackers from 1957.
- I'm glad to know that.

309
00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:02,541
Now get back to the fucking around part.

310
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:09,464
Well, we went to the hotel bar.

311
00:18:09,548 --> 00:18:14,428
Had a few drinks. Maybe more than a few...

312
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:18,182
Got in the elevator. Doors closed.

313
00:18:18,266 --> 00:18:20,684
And...

314
00:18:20,768 --> 00:18:23,979
- he gave me this look.
- What kind of look?

315
00:18:24,063 --> 00:18:27,608
It scared me. I'd never
seen it on him before.

316
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:30,569
It was like, that's
Robert, my business partner,

317
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:34,949
but that's not Robert, my
business partner. It was this man.

318
00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:40,079
And all I had was this... feeling.

319
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,456
This... need.

320
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:46,794
And it happened.

321
00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:49,046
- We kissed.
- Was it a big kiss?

322
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:50,756
'Til the doors bing'd.

323
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:53,675
- What floor were you on?
- Twenty-six.

324
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:57,054
- That's a big kiss.
- I don't know how to describe it.

325
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:02,517
My whole body... came alive.

326
00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:05,437
My blood... rocket fuel.

327
00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:11,026
It was just... different.

328
00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:14,696
Different, because it was a
man? Or because it was Robert?

329
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:17,325
- Probably both.
- And that was it?

330
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,784
You were in love?

331
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:22,288
No. We went to our rooms and
we didn't even talk about it.

332
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:24,414
Well, how could you not talk about it?

333
00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:27,042
We couldn't. We didn't know how.

334
00:19:27,126 --> 00:19:29,962
And then four months
later it happened again.

335
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:35,259
And this type of thing never
happened... with anyone? Before?

336
00:19:35,343 --> 00:19:39,596
No. Never. It's not like I chose this.

337
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,225
I tried not to choose it. We both
kept praying it would go away.

338
00:19:43,309 --> 00:19:45,560
We broke it off, repeatedly.

339
00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:48,522
In all that time, why didn't you tell me?

340
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:49,773
I couldn't.

341
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:55,654
It had gone from sex to
love. If I'd told you...

342
00:19:56,655 --> 00:19:59,074
You would've ended our marriage.

343
00:19:59,158 --> 00:20:00,201
Um...

344
00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:03,578
I still loved you. And our family.

345
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:05,164
And Robert.

346
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,166
It was torture.

347
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,049
I'm sorry I asked.

348
00:20:16,342 --> 00:20:17,259
Yeah.

349
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,223
Kind of. [chuckles]

350
00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,607
[gasps]

351
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:36,320
Who are you? What are you doing?

352
00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:38,239
I'm going to call the police!

353
00:20:38,322 --> 00:20:40,908
I didn't mean to scare you. I'm
here for Frankie's art class.

354
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:44,078
- I'm definitely calling the police.
- She wasn't in the studio,

355
00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:46,705
I came by to see if she
was okay after the quake.

356
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,666
Saw some ham. Thought I'd make a sandwich.

357
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:53,087
- The door was open?
- It opened.

358
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:54,880
Well, I'm just going to call her.

359
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:56,924
- [gasps]
- [chuckles]

360
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:58,050
Having a good day?

361
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,302
They're not mine. Frankie put them in.

362
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,390
I had a date. It was just a little lunch.

363
00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:07,601
That's all I'm doing. Just a little lunch.

364
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:10,938
Okay.

365
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:17,486
Frankie told us about your husbands.

366
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:19,654
I know a lot of men that
have done stupid shit.

367
00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:22,950
But nothing as stupid as leaving you.

368
00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:28,247
Uh...

369
00:21:29,415 --> 00:21:31,792
What did you go to prison for?

370
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:35,421
Invited myself into
someone's house one night.

371
00:21:35,504 --> 00:21:36,505
Stole his ham.

372
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,090
[laughs]

373
00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:39,841
And his car.

374
00:21:39,925 --> 00:21:41,718
Oh.

375
00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:44,179
Can I just say, you are smoking hot?

376
00:21:44,263 --> 00:21:46,265
You can say whatever you like...

377
00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:50,060
Okay. Please tell me that
if he wasn't fucking you,

378
00:21:50,144 --> 00:21:51,395
somebody else was.

379
00:21:51,479 --> 00:21:55,316
- Oh...
- [rumbling]

380
00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:08,829
[rumbling fades]

381
00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:10,789
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

382
00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:14,751
- It was just an aftershock.
- I know.

383
00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:17,004
Are you breathing?

384
00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:19,381
Yes, I'm fucking breathing.

385
00:22:19,465 --> 00:22:21,675
When we die, I'll be breathing.

386
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:25,513
- [sighs]
- I never thought we'd do this again.

387
00:22:26,638 --> 00:22:27,931
Dessert menu?

388
00:22:28,015 --> 00:22:31,059
We'll have the carrot
cake and two forks, please.

389
00:22:31,143 --> 00:22:33,020
Thank you.

390
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,824
I did jimmy the door.

391
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,625
[moaning]

392
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:58,212
Oh, oh.

393
00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:00,047
Oh, gosh...

394
00:23:04,510 --> 00:23:06,094
Whoa.

395
00:23:22,528 --> 00:23:26,490
One, two, three, four... [laughing]

396
00:23:26,574 --> 00:23:28,909
One, two, three four...

397
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:32,413
One, two, three, four...
One, two, three, four...

398
00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:36,041
- Smells good...
- Hey, Sol!

399
00:23:36,124 --> 00:23:39,669
- Al. Eddie.
- Hi.

400
00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:41,255
I didn't know we were having a party.

401
00:23:41,338 --> 00:23:43,882
I didn't know you'd be three hours late.

402
00:23:43,965 --> 00:23:46,385
I didn't know you'd start without me.

403
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:48,720
- Oh, we have to go.
- Stay, fellas.

404
00:23:48,803 --> 00:23:50,639
- Great meal!
- But there's flan.

405
00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:53,225
- Oh, not a flan fan.
- Don't leave on my account.

406
00:23:53,308 --> 00:23:55,810
[Eddie] We're leaving on
both our accounts. Bye!

407
00:23:55,894 --> 00:23:58,522
[door opens, closes]

408
00:23:59,106 --> 00:24:00,982
If you're upset, you have to tell me.

409
00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:02,734
I'm not upset.

410
00:24:02,817 --> 00:24:06,154
You wanted to be with Frankie,
I wanted to eat paella.

411
00:24:06,238 --> 00:24:09,741
So I invited Al and
Eddie. There, I told you.

412
00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:13,579
Okay. Okay, anger.

413
00:24:13,662 --> 00:24:15,289
Good.

414
00:24:15,372 --> 00:24:18,542
I appreciate the feeling and
I encourage its expression.

415
00:24:18,626 --> 00:24:20,669
Please don't talk to me
the way you talk to her.

416
00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:21,878
This is how I talk.

417
00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:23,547
Why did we blow up our lives

418
00:24:23,631 --> 00:24:26,216
if you're gonna go running off
to your wife at the drop of a hat?

419
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:28,843
- There was an earthquake!
- Exactly!

420
00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:31,388
But I texted I was running
late, and you said "fine."

421
00:24:31,472 --> 00:24:33,515
No! No, no, no, Sol.

422
00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:36,685
When you texted "how are you,"
that's when I wrote "fine."

423
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:41,189
When you texted "running late,"
I didn't write anything at all.

424
00:24:41,273 --> 00:24:43,400
How very mature.

425
00:24:43,484 --> 00:24:45,486
[cell phone buzzing]

426
00:24:45,569 --> 00:24:47,488
That her?

427
00:24:47,571 --> 00:24:50,616
This is my home. And you are my life.

428
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:58,957
I'm sorry about the text
mix-up. I should have called.

429
00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:04,129
I'm sorry, too. I should
have been more clear.

430
00:25:06,507 --> 00:25:09,259
- You must be starving.
- I could eat.

431
00:25:16,206 --> 00:25:18,934
_

432
00:25:22,097 --> 00:25:23,181
_

433
00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:29,571
[knock on door]

434
00:25:29,655 --> 00:25:31,323
So, how did your date go?

435
00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:36,411
- Unexpectedly.
- See?

436
00:25:36,495 --> 00:25:40,290
It was a good day, except for almost dying.

437
00:25:40,374 --> 00:25:44,461
- One of your students stopped by.
- Oh, I forgot to cancel.

438
00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:46,254
It must have been Byron.

439
00:25:46,338 --> 00:25:49,924
- I didn't catch his name.
- Very talented.

440
00:25:52,386 --> 00:25:55,263
So, where were you all afternoon?

441
00:25:55,347 --> 00:25:58,433
- Under a table.
- Oh, well, good for you.

442
00:26:09,528 --> 00:26:10,945
Choke that chicken!

443
00:26:11,029 --> 00:26:13,490
[laughs]