1 00:00:44,704 --> 00:00:48,917 [dialing phone, ringing] 2 00:00:49,001 --> 00:00:52,253 Marge? Hi, it's Grace. 3 00:00:52,337 --> 00:00:56,257 Listen, I can't do the silent auction. 4 00:00:56,341 --> 00:00:59,427 Because it's being sponsored by the law firm. 5 00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:03,849 Well, because Robert is divorcing me. 6 00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:07,186 Because he is a homosexual. 7 00:01:43,263 --> 00:01:44,597 [sighs] 8 00:01:45,431 --> 00:01:47,517 With Sol. 9 00:01:48,894 --> 00:01:50,645 Yes, that Sol. 10 00:01:52,397 --> 00:01:54,691 Yup, I guess so. 11 00:01:56,359 --> 00:01:59,029 Better go ahead and get that. Okay. 12 00:01:59,112 --> 00:02:01,573 Yeah, bye, Marge, bye-bye. 13 00:02:02,574 --> 00:02:03,575 [sighs] 14 00:02:11,791 --> 00:02:13,293 [grunts] 15 00:02:27,057 --> 00:02:30,351 You wanna play the tough guy, huh? That's how you wanna do it? 16 00:02:30,435 --> 00:02:34,355 Okay, I can wait. I've got nowhere else to be. 17 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:40,195 Well, jury duty, but that's not till October. 18 00:02:40,279 --> 00:02:43,031 What's Mallory's food problem du jour? 19 00:02:43,115 --> 00:02:45,909 Her... gluten or meat? I can't remember. 20 00:02:45,992 --> 00:02:48,745 Right. No. It's something ridiculous. Corn, maybe? 21 00:02:48,828 --> 00:02:50,580 Nothing doesn't have corn. 22 00:02:50,663 --> 00:02:52,624 I have to rethink the whole dinner now. 23 00:02:52,707 --> 00:02:55,210 Sol, it's not till tomorrow. We've got plenty of time. 24 00:02:55,294 --> 00:02:58,797 And it'll be fine. Our families have had a million dinners together. 25 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,506 The girls adore you. 26 00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:04,261 That was before they found out I was going to be their new stepmother. 27 00:03:04,344 --> 00:03:07,472 Sol, you're making me nervous. 28 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:11,143 Say, do you remember the way Grace used to fold the napkins 29 00:03:11,226 --> 00:03:13,561 into bow-ties sometimes? Do you know how she did that? 30 00:03:13,645 --> 00:03:16,564 - No idea. - Oh. 31 00:03:16,648 --> 00:03:19,567 I should wash these before we use them. 32 00:03:19,651 --> 00:03:22,362 You're using china? We're going that fancy? 33 00:03:22,445 --> 00:03:25,490 I just think people are on their best behavior when they eat off china. 34 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,993 Clearly you've never raised boys. 35 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:34,207 Oh, geez, Coyote. I forgot. 36 00:03:34,291 --> 00:03:37,669 - We haven't thought this through. - We're thinking it through now. 37 00:03:37,752 --> 00:03:40,339 - There's something else we're forgetting. - Sol, it's just a dinner. 38 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,549 We might forget something. So what? It's fine. They're gonna be fine. 39 00:03:43,633 --> 00:03:46,261 - We're gonna be fine. - Oh, I know we're gonna be fine. 40 00:03:46,345 --> 00:03:49,389 Because I'm gonna open the bottle of wine we're not serving to Coyote. 41 00:03:49,514 --> 00:03:51,183 Well, you're not gonna drink it alone. 42 00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:57,272 I love the dear silver That shines in your hair 43 00:03:57,356 --> 00:04:02,443 And the brow that's all wrinkled And furrowed with care 44 00:04:02,527 --> 00:04:03,611 I... 45 00:04:03,695 --> 00:04:07,949 I kiss the dear fingers So toil-worn for me 46 00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:10,118 - Oh... - Oh... 47 00:04:10,202 --> 00:04:13,246 God bless you and keep you 48 00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:16,875 - Mother Machree - Mother Machree 49 00:04:33,975 --> 00:04:35,935 Do we have a poltergeist? 50 00:04:36,019 --> 00:04:38,438 Worse. Nothing better to do. 51 00:04:38,521 --> 00:04:41,191 So what is it that you are doing? 52 00:04:41,274 --> 00:04:42,901 I'm trimming the rug. 53 00:04:42,984 --> 00:04:44,903 Because it grows so fast, huh? 54 00:04:44,986 --> 00:04:49,366 - Get your scissors away from my rug! - Fine, fine. 55 00:04:49,449 --> 00:04:52,785 I'll go alphabetize the spices. 56 00:04:52,869 --> 00:04:55,288 No. They're in order of how often we use them. 57 00:04:55,372 --> 00:04:57,457 Leave the allspice in the back where it belongs. 58 00:04:57,540 --> 00:05:00,919 You know what? I think your painting's calling you. 59 00:05:01,002 --> 00:05:03,880 No, it isn't. We're not talking right now. 60 00:05:32,658 --> 00:05:34,119 Hey, where you going? 61 00:05:34,202 --> 00:05:36,704 I've made a monumental life decision. 62 00:05:36,788 --> 00:05:40,417 What? What's the matter with the ignition? 63 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,543 I've made a life decision. 64 00:05:42,627 --> 00:05:45,380 Oh, where are you going to go fishing? 65 00:05:45,464 --> 00:05:48,007 Listen, if you want to talk to me, come in here. 66 00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:52,304 You have got to get a hearing device. 67 00:05:52,387 --> 00:05:54,264 How do you expect me to hear you when you're shouting 68 00:05:54,347 --> 00:05:56,849 from the other side of the house? What were you saying? 69 00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:59,769 I am going back to work! 70 00:05:59,852 --> 00:06:01,687 Good. Where? 71 00:06:01,771 --> 00:06:03,482 To my company. 72 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,233 The one you gave to Brianna? 73 00:06:05,317 --> 00:06:07,652 The one I built from nothing. 74 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,571 - Okay, brava. - Where's my phone? 75 00:06:10,655 --> 00:06:11,739 - Miss? - Huh? 76 00:06:11,823 --> 00:06:13,199 Oh. 77 00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:16,035 So, where's Brianna going to work? 78 00:06:16,119 --> 00:06:18,621 You know what? I'm going to go. 79 00:06:18,704 --> 00:06:19,831 Oh, can I come with you? 80 00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:23,460 - Get your own job. - I've got a job. 81 00:06:23,543 --> 00:06:25,795 Yeah. Teaching convicts. 82 00:06:25,878 --> 00:06:29,174 We call them rehabilitated former offenders. 83 00:06:29,257 --> 00:06:32,511 This is what we're calling them now? That's good to know. 84 00:06:36,055 --> 00:06:40,185 I like the idea of going fishing. I don't like to kill the fish, though. 85 00:06:40,268 --> 00:06:42,437 I guess I could throw them back. 86 00:06:42,521 --> 00:06:47,192 But I don't have a boat. My friend Todd has a boat. 87 00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:49,277 Where is Todd? 88 00:06:49,361 --> 00:06:51,654 Oh, right, he died. 89 00:06:51,737 --> 00:06:54,866 I should call his wife. Where's my cell phone? 90 00:06:54,949 --> 00:06:57,952 I'll call it. What's my number? 91 00:06:59,329 --> 00:07:00,621 Should we tell Mom? 92 00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:03,500 Are you nuts? It's just gonna make her feel bad. 93 00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:07,128 - I feel weird. - It's all weird, Bud. 94 00:07:07,212 --> 00:07:12,258 Our father and his boyfriend are having their children over for dinner. 95 00:07:12,342 --> 00:07:16,054 I can top that. The love of your squandered life is gonna be there. 96 00:07:16,137 --> 00:07:19,224 - Probably with her husband. - Shit! 97 00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:21,642 You do realize Coyote is going to be there, right? 98 00:07:21,726 --> 00:07:24,437 Okay, I don't want to talk about Coyote. 99 00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:27,273 I know. I do, though. Is Mitch coming? 100 00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:29,859 No, my husband will stay home with the kids 101 00:07:29,942 --> 00:07:32,070 when the babysitter suddenly gets sick. 102 00:07:32,153 --> 00:07:35,781 You know what, maybe I'll get sick, too. Or maybe I'll just hang with Mom. 103 00:07:35,865 --> 00:07:40,119 If I'm going to this dinner, you're going. And Mom can't know about this. 104 00:07:40,203 --> 00:07:44,416 If you breathe one word of this to Mom, I will tell her who really killed Dimples. 105 00:07:44,499 --> 00:07:47,710 Will you stop throwing that fucking hamster in my face! 106 00:07:47,793 --> 00:07:48,794 You don't have to go. 107 00:07:48,878 --> 00:07:53,007 I do have to go. I have to talk to Mallory. 108 00:07:53,091 --> 00:07:57,011 And it's important for Dad. And New Dad, Robert Dad. 109 00:07:57,095 --> 00:07:59,389 I smell a trigger. You gonna be okay? 110 00:07:59,472 --> 00:08:01,600 I'll even out by the third vodka. 111 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,351 That's not funny yet. 112 00:08:08,231 --> 00:08:10,567 Just don't talk to Mom for the next two days. 113 00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:11,692 Okay, what if she calls? 114 00:08:11,776 --> 00:08:14,737 If she calls, don't lie like a pussy. Sell it. 115 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,948 Wait. Is this one of those things where you tell me not to tell her 116 00:08:17,031 --> 00:08:19,158 and then you get to tell her and you get to be the hero? 117 00:08:20,159 --> 00:08:22,745 - Hi, Mom! - Oh, my God, let me talk to her! 118 00:08:24,289 --> 00:08:25,665 This is different. 119 00:08:25,748 --> 00:08:27,459 Lovely. 120 00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:29,919 Have a seat. 121 00:08:38,344 --> 00:08:42,098 - So glad you stopped by. - Yeah. Me, too. 122 00:08:42,181 --> 00:08:45,143 So... what's up? 123 00:08:45,226 --> 00:08:50,898 Well, I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and I've come to apologize. 124 00:08:50,982 --> 00:08:54,152 Apology accepted. What did you do? 125 00:08:54,235 --> 00:08:56,737 I handed you this business and I abandoned you. 126 00:08:56,821 --> 00:09:02,494 I took a competent, no-frills money manager and thrust her into the rough 127 00:09:02,577 --> 00:09:04,496 and tumble world of beauty products. 128 00:09:04,579 --> 00:09:06,789 It's not exactly the Thunderdome here, Mom. 129 00:09:06,872 --> 00:09:09,501 And you know, we're up 15 percent this last quarter. 130 00:09:09,584 --> 00:09:13,630 That's wonderful, honey. But here's what I'm thinking. 131 00:09:14,797 --> 00:09:16,174 I want to try to make it up to you 132 00:09:16,257 --> 00:09:19,427 by offering you something you could really use. 133 00:09:19,511 --> 00:09:22,347 - A boyfriend who doesn't talk? - No. 134 00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:27,101 Me. I would love to come back to work here. 135 00:09:31,981 --> 00:09:34,900 - Oh... - You'd still be CEO. 136 00:09:34,984 --> 00:09:37,278 But it just feels... 137 00:09:37,362 --> 00:09:39,947 like a natural fit for us, doesn't it? 138 00:09:40,031 --> 00:09:43,576 Yeah. But you retired. We had a party. 139 00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:46,871 There were shrimp cakes and speeches. Margaret cried. 140 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:51,792 - Do we have a problem here? - Well, I mean, I don't know. 141 00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:55,087 We've gone in a different direction, and that took capital. 142 00:09:55,171 --> 00:09:58,090 I don't know if I have the money to hire someone else. 143 00:09:58,174 --> 00:10:00,635 Well, what do you mean, "different direction"? 144 00:10:00,719 --> 00:10:04,263 Oh, gosh! I mean more... 145 00:10:06,849 --> 00:10:08,601 relevant. 146 00:10:08,685 --> 00:10:11,062 Are you implying I'm irrelevant? 147 00:10:11,145 --> 00:10:12,731 Because that would be interesting, 148 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,400 given that my face is all over the darn box. 149 00:10:15,483 --> 00:10:18,986 I know. Um... only until the fall, though. 150 00:10:24,075 --> 00:10:26,994 You... you replaced my face with a plant? 151 00:10:27,078 --> 00:10:29,038 Mm-hmm. 152 00:10:36,671 --> 00:10:38,214 Mmm. 153 00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:45,638 Mmm! [laughs] 154 00:10:45,722 --> 00:10:49,642 See, we're going for a more youthful customer, 155 00:10:49,726 --> 00:10:52,228 and she's urban, and she's active, 156 00:10:52,311 --> 00:10:56,274 and she responds better to a plant than a face. 157 00:10:56,357 --> 00:10:58,610 I've been erased. 158 00:10:58,693 --> 00:11:01,112 I'm sorry, Mom. I should have told you. 159 00:11:05,324 --> 00:11:08,077 - Help me, damn it. - I don't think I can... 160 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,245 - No! Out of the chair! - Oh. 161 00:11:11,956 --> 00:11:12,873 Here. 162 00:11:15,585 --> 00:11:16,711 Just... 163 00:11:19,714 --> 00:11:24,093 - This is what I know how to do. - God, Mom. I know. 164 00:11:24,176 --> 00:11:26,387 - So? - So... I can't. 165 00:11:26,471 --> 00:11:28,681 - I don't understand! Why not?! - I can't, because... 166 00:11:30,642 --> 00:11:32,477 Because if you're here, no one will see me. 167 00:11:33,603 --> 00:11:36,147 You're a big presence. You cast a giant shadow. 168 00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:38,650 I could never come out from underneath that. 169 00:11:39,651 --> 00:11:41,986 If you came back here, I'd be completely invisible. 170 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,071 I don't think you know what that feels like. 171 00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:47,408 I think I'm beginning to. 172 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:52,246 Well, would you at least let me take you to dinner? 173 00:11:53,623 --> 00:11:56,835 I wish I could... I've got a thing. 174 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,337 - A thing? - Don't ask. 175 00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:03,174 FYI, childbirth was easier than getting out of that chair. 176 00:12:04,592 --> 00:12:06,636 I personally prefer working in oils, 177 00:12:06,719 --> 00:12:09,514 although watercolors are more forgiving as we age. 178 00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:13,893 Oh, yeah, yeah. So, this is the dining room. 179 00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:20,232 Salad bars usually freak me out, but this one seems sanitary. 180 00:12:20,316 --> 00:12:23,986 Well, you know, you're welcome to have all your meals here if you like. 181 00:12:24,069 --> 00:12:27,948 We've got kosher options. And... vegetarian. 182 00:12:28,032 --> 00:12:29,575 Is it that obvious? 183 00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:31,744 Your shoes. 184 00:12:31,828 --> 00:12:34,914 Oh, I do have my MFA. An online MFA. 185 00:12:34,997 --> 00:12:38,543 - I'm a Phoenix. - Oh. Good for you. 186 00:12:42,714 --> 00:12:45,966 - [line ringing] - [cell phone chimes] 187 00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,552 Fuck. 188 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,931 - Hello? - Hi. Can you be nice to me? 189 00:12:52,014 --> 00:12:54,392 Um, okay... 190 00:12:54,475 --> 00:12:58,396 I love you. You're so pretty. I gotta go. 191 00:12:58,479 --> 00:12:59,939 Mal... 192 00:13:01,566 --> 00:13:03,943 Am I irrelevant? 193 00:13:04,026 --> 00:13:06,237 [Mal] Oh, Mom. 194 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,866 Not to me. I gotta go. 195 00:13:11,492 --> 00:13:13,578 Okay, bye. 196 00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:17,331 I like it here. This could work. 197 00:13:17,415 --> 00:13:19,542 Well, we would really like to have you. 198 00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:23,629 Really? Oh, God, that is fantastic! 199 00:13:23,713 --> 00:13:25,673 Oh, my God. 200 00:13:25,757 --> 00:13:28,384 Oh. Okay. 201 00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:31,804 So, William, let's get down to brass tacks. How much? 202 00:13:31,888 --> 00:13:33,890 Well, it'll be ten thousand a month. 203 00:13:33,973 --> 00:13:35,224 To teach art! 204 00:13:35,307 --> 00:13:37,602 Art. Wait, art? 205 00:13:37,685 --> 00:13:40,396 You placed an ad for an art teacher. 206 00:13:40,479 --> 00:13:43,524 You're not Myrna Rosenblum, are you? 207 00:13:43,608 --> 00:13:47,653 I was supposed to give her a new resident's tour at two o'clock. 208 00:13:47,737 --> 00:13:50,197 To live here? Oh, my God. 209 00:13:50,281 --> 00:13:53,367 Do I look like I need a bed with a motor? 210 00:13:53,451 --> 00:13:56,579 Oh, well, people are taking really good care of themselves these days. 211 00:13:56,662 --> 00:14:00,792 No, no, I have taken terrible care of myself. 212 00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:04,796 I am young. I'm... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 213 00:14:04,879 --> 00:14:06,464 Excuse me. 214 00:14:08,007 --> 00:14:10,301 My joints are supple. 215 00:14:17,976 --> 00:14:19,143 [panting] The girls are here. 216 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,854 I swear we're forgetting something. 217 00:14:24,398 --> 00:14:26,776 Anyway, here we go. 218 00:14:26,859 --> 00:14:28,486 Wait, wait, wait. 219 00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:34,074 Now here we go. 220 00:14:35,326 --> 00:14:36,368 Hey! 221 00:14:36,452 --> 00:14:38,203 What are you doing? 222 00:14:38,287 --> 00:14:41,666 I'm having dinner with my gay dads, you? 223 00:14:41,749 --> 00:14:44,293 You can't just walk in there. It's not your house anymore. 224 00:14:44,376 --> 00:14:47,546 I lost both of my virginities in this house. It's my house. 225 00:14:48,547 --> 00:14:51,342 - Hi! Hi. - Hi! 226 00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:52,844 Welcome. 227 00:14:53,928 --> 00:14:55,930 - Hi! - Hello. 228 00:14:58,766 --> 00:15:00,601 Welcome? 229 00:15:00,685 --> 00:15:03,187 We're so glad you came. 230 00:15:05,397 --> 00:15:06,941 - Hi. - Hi. 231 00:15:07,025 --> 00:15:08,526 Excuse me. 232 00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:14,448 I brought you chocolate. 233 00:15:14,532 --> 00:15:15,658 That's from both of us. 234 00:15:15,741 --> 00:15:18,202 How nice! Thank you! 235 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:21,956 There's vodka inside, have you guys had those? 236 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,875 No. 237 00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:26,251 You wouldn't think chocolate and vodka go well together, 238 00:15:26,335 --> 00:15:30,172 but it's like mac and cheese, it just... it just works. 239 00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:33,467 [clears throat] 240 00:15:35,803 --> 00:15:38,180 Well, you both look great. 241 00:15:38,263 --> 00:15:41,475 Oh, no, I look like shit. But thank you. 242 00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:42,643 Would you like something to drink? 243 00:15:42,727 --> 00:15:44,478 - Bourbon. - Scotch, please. 244 00:15:44,562 --> 00:15:49,149 - No... we're not serving alcohol tonight. - [Mal] Are you kidding? 245 00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:55,573 Knock, knock! 246 00:15:55,656 --> 00:15:57,575 - Hey. - Hey, guys! 247 00:15:57,658 --> 00:15:59,493 Hello! 248 00:16:00,411 --> 00:16:02,246 Hey, Bud. Welcome. 249 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:05,207 - Yeah. - Hi, Dad. Hi... 250 00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:07,835 - Coyote. Welcome. - Thank you. 251 00:16:09,128 --> 00:16:11,881 - Hi, Bree. - What's up, Broseph? 252 00:16:11,964 --> 00:16:14,341 - That's what I'm gonna call you now. - No, you are not. 253 00:16:14,425 --> 00:16:16,594 - Mm-hmm. - Mal. 254 00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:18,888 Broseph. 255 00:16:18,971 --> 00:16:21,724 Who would like some sparkling apple cider? 256 00:16:22,558 --> 00:16:24,685 Oh, geez, that's... that's because of me. 257 00:16:24,769 --> 00:16:30,024 It's fine. Please, everyone drink, enjoy. 258 00:16:30,108 --> 00:16:32,484 See? Straight from the alcoholic's mouth. 259 00:16:32,568 --> 00:16:35,529 - He says it's fine. - Thanks, Coyote, but it's okay. 260 00:16:35,613 --> 00:16:39,033 Everybody's needs have been considered tonight. 261 00:16:39,117 --> 00:16:43,955 Mal, the bread crumbs are gluten-free. You're special, too. 262 00:16:44,038 --> 00:16:45,831 [Coyote] Mal. 263 00:16:46,498 --> 00:16:47,750 Come here. 264 00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,376 No. 265 00:16:54,548 --> 00:16:56,842 - Mal... - I am not engaging with you. 266 00:16:56,926 --> 00:16:59,137 - You're not engaging? - No. 267 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,098 Okay, I have no idea what I did that night. 268 00:17:02,181 --> 00:17:03,975 - Are you kidding me? - No! 269 00:17:04,058 --> 00:17:09,855 I was on a cocktail of tequila, cocaine and non-stick cooking spray. 270 00:17:09,939 --> 00:17:12,691 - You guys, there's cheese. - Just a second! 271 00:17:14,026 --> 00:17:16,946 Well, let me refresh your memory. 272 00:17:17,029 --> 00:17:22,367 After mowing down my mailbox, you proceeded to get out of your car 273 00:17:22,451 --> 00:17:24,996 and start shouting at the top of your lungs, 274 00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:27,414 "Mal, don't marry Mitch! 275 00:17:27,498 --> 00:17:30,042 It doesn't have to be me, just don't marry Mitch!" 276 00:17:30,126 --> 00:17:32,920 Which manages to not only scare my children, 277 00:17:33,004 --> 00:17:36,548 but really piss off my husband, who, by the way, 278 00:17:36,632 --> 00:17:38,926 I had already been married to for seven years. 279 00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:41,470 [sighs] 280 00:17:41,553 --> 00:17:43,681 - Fuck. - Yeah. 281 00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:46,266 I had no idea. 282 00:17:48,519 --> 00:17:50,562 That's really, really bad. 283 00:17:53,024 --> 00:17:56,568 [Sol] Let's go, everybody! Phones in the box. 284 00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:57,903 Phones. 285 00:17:57,987 --> 00:18:00,364 God, I thought you only did this at your house. 286 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:03,201 This is his house. 287 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,327 I need a drink or I need my phone. 288 00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:07,872 You have got to give me something. 289 00:18:07,955 --> 00:18:11,667 - We hid a bottle of Chianti... - Behind the toaster. 290 00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,335 Good enough. 291 00:18:16,214 --> 00:18:17,422 Let's eat! 292 00:18:50,164 --> 00:18:52,666 [bottle clattering] 293 00:18:55,794 --> 00:18:57,046 [sighs] 294 00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:03,052 Did you steal my scissors? 295 00:19:03,135 --> 00:19:05,637 - Yes. - Well, can I have 'em back? 296 00:19:05,721 --> 00:19:07,932 Will you stop trimming the rugs? 297 00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:09,975 Yes. 298 00:19:10,809 --> 00:19:13,520 - [Frankie sighs] - That's not bad. 299 00:19:14,939 --> 00:19:16,315 What is it, an otter? 300 00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:20,278 It's my fucking day. 301 00:19:23,447 --> 00:19:25,824 Did you get your job back? 302 00:19:25,908 --> 00:19:30,913 No, no. I decided it's... it's not me anymore. 303 00:19:43,175 --> 00:19:46,053 - [crickets chirping] - [clock ticking] 304 00:19:55,938 --> 00:19:58,607 How did you get the almond to actually stick to the chicken? 305 00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:00,985 Interesting. Egg whites! 306 00:20:01,068 --> 00:20:02,278 Hmm. 307 00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:04,696 There are eggs in this? 308 00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:07,366 You have a problem with the eggs but not the chicken? 309 00:20:07,449 --> 00:20:10,535 - That's classic. - [Sol] Just egg whites, no yolk. 310 00:20:10,619 --> 00:20:14,290 And then you just grind up the almonds with a little paprika. 311 00:20:14,373 --> 00:20:16,292 He's like a magician in the kitchen. 312 00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:24,508 - Do you think it's dry? - A little. 313 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,718 [deep breath and exhale] 314 00:20:26,802 --> 00:20:28,887 I think it's perfect, babe. 315 00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:40,524 - What are you looking for? - Nothing. 316 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,944 If you're looking for those cigarettes, I threw them out. 317 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:48,032 Shit. I'd give my good knee for a cigarette. 318 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:55,914 Me, too. I haven't had a cigarette since smoking was good for you. 319 00:20:58,376 --> 00:20:59,793 Shall we? 320 00:21:06,591 --> 00:21:11,096 Mallory, would you engage me in the salt, please? 321 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,312 Excuse me. 322 00:21:30,241 --> 00:21:31,367 Mallory. 323 00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:33,493 I cannot deal with all of this right now. 324 00:21:33,577 --> 00:21:36,080 I can't deal with that, and I can't deal with you. 325 00:21:36,163 --> 00:21:39,917 And my mother has taken every single Valium out of this house. 326 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,419 I know. 327 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,795 I want drugs, too. 328 00:21:43,879 --> 00:21:47,299 But we have to figure a way to deal with all of this without that, 329 00:21:47,383 --> 00:21:49,551 and without storming out of the room. 330 00:21:49,634 --> 00:21:53,013 No, no, no, no, no. I cannot be taking advice about all this from you right now. 331 00:21:53,097 --> 00:21:54,681 That-that-that can't be right. 332 00:21:54,765 --> 00:21:58,852 I'm-I'm afraid it is. We're step-people now. 333 00:21:58,936 --> 00:22:00,187 No. 334 00:22:00,271 --> 00:22:04,233 I'm sorry, but we're blended. We have to be civil. 335 00:22:04,316 --> 00:22:08,070 No, I don't. I just came here to pee. 336 00:22:08,153 --> 00:22:10,030 I didn't come here to work anything out with you. 337 00:22:10,114 --> 00:22:14,993 So just... just let me go so that I can pee. Please. 338 00:22:19,873 --> 00:22:22,209 I think it's going okay. 339 00:22:26,588 --> 00:22:28,466 Uh... you need help? 340 00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:30,509 - With what? - With dessert. 341 00:22:30,592 --> 00:22:34,096 - Isn't that what you came in here to do? - Oh, no. I am not doing that. 342 00:22:34,179 --> 00:22:36,181 I came in here so I don't have to be out there. 343 00:22:36,265 --> 00:22:39,851 By the way, why would you bring dessert in like seven different containers? 344 00:22:39,935 --> 00:22:42,020 Go to the grocery store like a normal person. 345 00:22:42,104 --> 00:22:43,981 - Buy an Entenmann's. - What's your problem? 346 00:22:44,064 --> 00:22:46,233 Nothing. It's just... 347 00:22:46,317 --> 00:22:49,861 Why are we talking about the almond meal chicken in there? 348 00:22:49,945 --> 00:22:51,822 "Oh, that's how you get the almond to stick to the chicken?" 349 00:22:51,905 --> 00:22:55,075 "Yeah, but you have to use egg whites." "Oh, well, egg whites makes it okay 350 00:22:55,159 --> 00:22:57,577 that our mothers are home alone and heartbroken." 351 00:22:57,661 --> 00:22:59,163 Everyone is just trying their best, Bree. 352 00:22:59,246 --> 00:23:01,039 Is that why you gave that elaborate toast? 353 00:23:01,123 --> 00:23:02,624 - It was the Kiddush. - Oh. 354 00:23:02,707 --> 00:23:04,335 What did you think was going to happen tonight? 355 00:23:04,418 --> 00:23:06,003 I don't know, but don't you think it's weird 356 00:23:06,086 --> 00:23:08,630 that no one is talking about this? 357 00:23:08,713 --> 00:23:11,967 It's like we have flashed forward five years into the future 358 00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:14,428 and everybody's cool with Dad and Sol. 359 00:23:14,512 --> 00:23:17,348 - I am cool with it. - Oh, really? You're cool with it? 360 00:23:17,431 --> 00:23:22,520 Would you be cool with it if they'd been cheating with women for the last 20 years? 361 00:23:22,602 --> 00:23:24,313 [sighs] 362 00:23:24,396 --> 00:23:27,274 - I don't know. - Please. There wouldn't be cake. 363 00:23:27,358 --> 00:23:30,735 There'd be blood or bullets. Something. 364 00:23:30,819 --> 00:23:33,613 For sure, we wouldn't be talking about the chicken. 365 00:23:33,697 --> 00:23:36,200 Do you think you're the only one that's having a hard time? 366 00:23:36,283 --> 00:23:39,953 Up until a week ago I was under the impression my parents loved each other. 367 00:23:40,037 --> 00:23:41,455 Now I'm losing my family. 368 00:23:41,539 --> 00:23:47,419 I'm losing Jewish Christmas Eve, and picketing Walmart, and camping. 369 00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:52,049 Forgot you guys all liked each other. 370 00:23:52,132 --> 00:23:54,759 Well, we had to. We slept in a four person sleeping bag. 371 00:23:54,843 --> 00:23:57,137 - Really? - No. 372 00:23:57,221 --> 00:24:00,182 I'll carry the cake. Will you carry the coffee? 373 00:24:00,265 --> 00:24:03,018 - No. - Thanks. 374 00:24:06,313 --> 00:24:09,316 Hey! Sir? Sir! We're still waiting. 375 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,026 Cigarettes! 376 00:24:13,362 --> 00:24:16,865 Oh, excuse me... Hey, excuse me, excuse me! 377 00:24:16,948 --> 00:24:19,410 Damn it to hell. Oh, excuse me. 378 00:24:19,493 --> 00:24:20,911 I don't work here. 379 00:24:20,994 --> 00:24:23,080 But how do I get you fired? 380 00:24:28,627 --> 00:24:30,379 This is Mom's favorite. 381 00:24:33,507 --> 00:24:36,176 You remember Mom, right? 382 00:24:38,053 --> 00:24:40,931 I remember my mom. She used to live here. 383 00:24:41,014 --> 00:24:43,392 - Enough, Brianna. - [Sol] No, it's okay. 384 00:24:43,475 --> 00:24:45,603 Clearly, they need to express something. 385 00:24:45,685 --> 00:24:47,729 Are your mothers upset that you came over? 386 00:24:47,812 --> 00:24:49,773 My mother doesn't know I'm here. 387 00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:52,067 I told her I had a thing and I couldn't talk. 388 00:24:52,150 --> 00:24:55,987 - I'm at an AA meeting. - I'm racked with guilt. 389 00:24:56,071 --> 00:24:58,031 Why wouldn't you tell them you were coming here? 390 00:24:58,115 --> 00:25:01,118 - Are you really asking that? - Yes! I am. 391 00:25:01,201 --> 00:25:03,245 They're going to find out you came here and they're going to think 392 00:25:03,328 --> 00:25:06,915 we told you not to tell them, and they'll assume you're taking our side. 393 00:25:06,998 --> 00:25:11,378 I'm sorry, is there some kind of manual that we didn't get that tells us 394 00:25:11,462 --> 00:25:12,754 how to act in this situation? 395 00:25:12,837 --> 00:25:15,299 Because you two seem to be the only ones who know the rules. 396 00:25:15,382 --> 00:25:17,008 We just think you should have been honest. 397 00:25:17,092 --> 00:25:20,095 [laughing] I'm sorry, are you trying to be ironic? 398 00:25:20,178 --> 00:25:21,805 [Sol] No. I'm trying to be your father! 399 00:25:21,888 --> 00:25:25,350 You don't have to point out to me that I hurt your mother! 400 00:25:25,434 --> 00:25:29,146 I know she's been hurt. Lying only makes it worse. 401 00:25:29,229 --> 00:25:31,231 - They've been through enough. - Because of you! 402 00:25:33,066 --> 00:25:36,570 I lied to my mother for the first time in my adult life because of you 403 00:25:36,654 --> 00:25:39,406 - and I'm not even allowed to be mad. - Why not? 404 00:25:39,490 --> 00:25:40,865 'Cause you're gay! 405 00:25:40,949 --> 00:25:43,785 If you had been fucking around with women for the last 20 years, 406 00:25:43,868 --> 00:25:46,330 we wouldn't even be here eating cake! 407 00:25:47,414 --> 00:25:48,999 Say it in there, and it comes out here. 408 00:25:52,336 --> 00:25:55,172 So we are not eating cake. 409 00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:12,481 Brianna, would you pass the cream, please? 410 00:26:17,486 --> 00:26:19,279 Thank you, Mallory. 411 00:26:19,363 --> 00:26:20,698 You're welcome, Coyote. 412 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,328 Okay, stand back, I'm about to lose my shit. 413 00:26:26,411 --> 00:26:31,291 Sir, can we get some cigarettes over here, for crying out loud?! 414 00:26:31,375 --> 00:26:33,960 Oh, God, thank you! 415 00:26:34,044 --> 00:26:37,130 - Sir! Hi! - Hi! How are you? 416 00:26:37,214 --> 00:26:39,090 [woman] I'm good... 417 00:26:39,174 --> 00:26:41,051 - Excuse me! - It's a beautiful night. 418 00:26:41,134 --> 00:26:42,636 It is. Can I help you? 419 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,847 Excuse me, are you in a coma?! 420 00:26:45,930 --> 00:26:48,684 This is a place of business, right? 421 00:26:48,767 --> 00:26:52,563 - Do you have lottery tickets? - Sure do. How many? 422 00:26:52,646 --> 00:26:56,358 - Just two, please. - You! You! Sir! 423 00:26:56,441 --> 00:26:58,569 - You! - Just a second. 424 00:26:58,652 --> 00:27:01,238 - Just two of the scratch-offs? - Yeah, scratch-offs. 425 00:27:01,321 --> 00:27:03,615 Hello! 426 00:27:03,699 --> 00:27:08,453 Hello! Hello! 427 00:27:08,537 --> 00:27:11,081 What kind of animal treats people like this?! 428 00:27:12,082 --> 00:27:16,461 Do you not see me?! Do I not exist?! 429 00:27:16,545 --> 00:27:18,463 You think it's all right to ignore us?! 430 00:27:18,547 --> 00:27:21,925 - Just because she's got grey hair? - What? 431 00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:23,594 And I don't look like her? 432 00:27:24,928 --> 00:27:27,639 This poor woman needs a pack of cigarettes 433 00:27:27,723 --> 00:27:29,683 and she doesn't have a lot of time left! 434 00:27:29,767 --> 00:27:32,686 - Get us a pack of cigarettes! - Come on, let's get out of here, Grace. 435 00:27:32,770 --> 00:27:35,313 - Come on. Let's go! - [grunts] 436 00:27:35,397 --> 00:27:38,024 - No! - For God's sake! This way. 437 00:27:38,108 --> 00:27:40,151 - [Grace groans] - [Frankie laughs] 438 00:27:41,861 --> 00:27:46,408 [panting] Okay. That lacked poise and I'm sorry. 439 00:27:47,743 --> 00:27:51,246 But I refuse to be irrelevant. 440 00:27:52,790 --> 00:27:56,084 It's okay. I learned something. We've got a superpower. 441 00:27:56,167 --> 00:27:57,252 You stole those?! 442 00:27:57,335 --> 00:27:59,630 You can't see me, you can't stop me. 443 00:28:01,381 --> 00:28:02,758 Mmm. 444 00:28:08,346 --> 00:28:09,931 [Frankie] Peel out, baby! 445 00:28:10,014 --> 00:28:11,725 [tires screech] 446 00:28:12,851 --> 00:28:15,353 - Wanna hit Citibank? - [Grace laughs] 447 00:28:21,151 --> 00:28:24,112 I knew we forgot something. 448 00:28:24,195 --> 00:28:26,740 We forgot it was too soon. 449 00:28:31,369 --> 00:28:34,623 I didn't hit a skunk. It was a black and white bucket. 450 00:28:34,706 --> 00:28:36,458 Then what was that smell? 451 00:28:38,585 --> 00:28:40,738 What the heck is this? 452 00:28:40,773 --> 00:28:41,914 _ 453 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,009 I can't read it. 454 00:28:46,092 --> 00:28:49,596 You can eat it. It's a cake. It won't kill you.