1 00:00:00,133 --> 00:00:02,836 cdatcdat ♪ 2 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:07,140 cdat All right, so what do you got, Dadcdatcdat 3 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:09,509 There have been a lot of computer breaches latelyt 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,946 - ( coughing ) - Dad, you good?cdat 5 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:15,182 Yeah, I'm fine. Anyway...cdat 6 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,718 Noah Stone, one of the most brilliant hackers..t 7 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,954 ( coughing )cdat 8 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,721 ( spits )cdat 9 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:25,826 Oh, my.cdatt 10 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,828 Yeah, you're fine.cdat 11 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,331 Would you like me to get you some toast for that lung butter?cdat 12 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,833 I said I'm fine, okay?cdat 13 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:36,170 Anyway, the Organization has traced Noahcdat 14 00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:37,971 to just outside Fargot 15 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:42,008 You and I are going there to bring that hacker in...cdt 16 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:45,246 Yeah, why go get him when we got a hacker right heret 17 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,514 Dad, obviously you're sick.ct 18 00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:50,150 No, I'm not. I'm perfectly...cdat 19 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,852 achy and tired.cdat 20 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:54,188 My throat is scratchy.cdat 21 00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:55,588 I think I'm getting sick.cdat 22 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,391 Really? What was your first clue?cdat 23 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,560 Was it the chills, the fever,cdat 24 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:03,330 me telling you over and over that you're sick?cdt 25 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,667 cdat I can handle the mission on my ownt 26 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,202 No, that's not a good idea, KC.cdat 27 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,569 Will you stop treating me like a child?cdat 28 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,238 I can handle it.cdat 29 00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,240 Besides, how hard can it be to take down some computer geekt 30 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,209 Excuse me?!cdat 31 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:19,279 Computer geeks can be extremely dangerous.cdat 32 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,715 cdat Look at me.cdat 33 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,284 Yeah, you're right. You can handle this on your ownt 34 00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:26,253 I trust you completely.cdat 35 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,288 I'm gonna hold off on that hug.cdat 36 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:32,592 I wanna catch a bad guy, not a bad cold. All right.cdt 37 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:36,230 cdat ♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪cdat 38 00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:39,199 ♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪cdat 39 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:43,070 ♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep things hustle cool ♪cdat 40 00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:47,408 ♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪cdat 41 00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:51,411 cdat ♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪cdat 42 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:53,213 cdat ♪ I'm not perfect ♪cdat 43 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:57,217 ♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪cdat 44 00:01:57,217 --> 00:02:01,221 cdat ♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪cdat 45 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,156 cdat ♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪cdat 46 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,458 ♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪cdat 47 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,895 ♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪cdat 48 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,929 ♪ But I always got your back ♪cdat 49 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,832 ♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪cdat 50 00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,068 ♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪cdat 51 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,736 ♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪cdat 52 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,305 ♪ It's all part of the plan ♪cdat 53 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,340 I keep it undercover.cdat 54 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,475 I keep it undercover.cdat 55 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,485 cdatcdat Noah Stone?cdat 56 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,520 Maybe. Who are you?cdat 57 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,355 I am your worst nightmare.cdat 58 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:36,523 You're a high school Spanish classcdat 59 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:37,958 I forgot to go to all semester,cdat 60 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,260 and suddenly there's a big test,cdat 61 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,362 and I'm not wearing any pants but I am wearing my grandmother's girdle?ct 62 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:45,498 Hey, computer hacker, you don't really talk to a lot of real people, do you?cdt 63 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,468 No. No, I do nott 64 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,769 Well, I'm taking you into custody.cdat 65 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,506 - Oh... - Gotcha!cdat 66 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,541 I'm taking you into custodyt 67 00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,510 Uh, excuse me. Who are you?cdat 68 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,313 Pinky Carter, professional bounty hunter.cdt 69 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:00,547 ( scoffs )cdat 70 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,349 Okay, you're a bounty hunter?cdat 71 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,551 Yes, a bounty hunter.cdat 72 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:08,655 A bounty hunter is someone who goes after bad guys for money.t 73 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,525 cdaDo you want me to explain what money is?cdat 74 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,494 Okay, you keep up that attitude,cdat 75 00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:16,029 I'll explain what a sock full of quarters is like to your kneecaps.cdat 76 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,798 I don't know how you reckon things down yonder,ct 77 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:22,202 but he's mine, okay? I got him first, so take a walk, sister.cdat 78 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,805 If I'm takin' a walk, guess I'm walkin' with yout 79 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,507 - He's mine. - No, he's mine.cdat 80 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,576 I never thought two women would be fighting over me.cdt 81 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,812 I'm sure no one did. Now let's go.cdat 82 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,981 Ooh. Sounds like she means business.cdat 83 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,182 I guess you have no choice. Uncuff me.cdat 84 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:39,053 Look, there's a reward on his head,cdat 85 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,421 and if I don't bring him in, I ain't gettin' paid.cdat 86 00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:43,723 ( laughs ) If you let me out of these cuffs,cdat 87 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,526 I can hack into a bank and wire you all the money you want.cdt 88 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:46,926 Win-win!cdat 89 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,762 Look, you're not getting it, okay?cdat 90 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,564 I am from a government agency,cdat 91 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,499 which means I outrank you. Do you understand?cdat 92 00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:55,602 I don't understandt 93 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:58,839 I'm just a dumb hayseed from the sticks.cdat 94 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:02,576 Maybe you should remove your handcuffs from my prisonert 95 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,511 cdat and draw me a picturet 96 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,347 You know, I am a great artist.cdat 97 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:08,715 If you let me out of these cuffs,cdat 98 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,550 I can show you. You like caricatures?cdat 99 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:13,253 I can draw you in a teeny, tiny car.cdat 100 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,456 Last chance, okay? Back off, Backwoods Barbie.cdat 101 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:20,026 Wow, you're like the pimple I had on my forehead last weekt 102 00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:22,095 You just won't go awayt 103 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,898 Really? Was it that one or was it that one?cdat 104 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,200 - Oh, you just get outta here. - You get outta here.cdat 105 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,069 ( arguing )cdat 106 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,704 ( falsetto voice ) I say we let him go.cdat 107 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,910 cdatcdat Okay, for your next assignmentt 108 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,879 you'll be pairing off as married couples.ct 109 00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,281 You'll be learning to balance a budgett 110 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,717 raise a family, and get through important life events.t 111 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,085 So everybody pick a partnert 112 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,820 Hey, do you...cdat 113 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,522 Hey, do...cdat 114 00:04:55,896 --> 00:05:00,000 cdatcdat I always knew we'd end up together.cdat 115 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,469 cdat Um, excuse me, Mrs. Greenfield.cdat 116 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,972 Is one of life's important eventscdat 117 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,173 learning to love again after your fiancécdat 118 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:10,577 tragically dies before this assignment begins?cdat 119 00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:13,647 Not if you wanna pass this class.cdat 120 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:18,651 cdat I was thinking somewhere romantic for the honeymoont 121 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,988 like the Lord of the Rings Hobbit Hotel.cdat 122 00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,764 cdatcdat Well, you know you're in a real fleabag motelcdat 123 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,367 if the hotel desk clerk doesn't bat an eyecdat 124 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,602 when three handcuffed people check in tocdat 125 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,038 a double occupancy room.cdat 126 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,541 Yeah, I just saw a rat crawl under the bed,cdat 127 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,609 so technically, there's four of us here.cdat 128 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,545 I don't know what we're doin' here.cdatt 129 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:47,947 No matter who gets the credit, we gotta get this guy to D.C.ct 130 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,316 Nighttime's the best time to move.cdat 131 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,518 We can't move if we can't move our feet.cdat 132 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,953 We're exhausted, so we're spending the night here.cdat 133 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,955 Or... you guys can get some rest,cdat 134 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,157 I'll get a head start,cdat 135 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,326 we can all meet up in an outlet mall in Secaucus, New Jersey,ct 136 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,061 where you can get a great dealcdat 137 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,896 on hardly irregular items, and I'll stop talking.cdat 138 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,533 All right, guys, first things first.cdatcdat 139 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,801 We need to get something to eat.cdat 140 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:11,405 There's a convenience store 20 miles away.cdat 141 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,439 That's not convenient at all!cdat 142 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,744 cdat What are we gonna do? I'm starving.cdat 143 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,713 Me, too.cdat 144 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,550 cdat You brought your own food?cdatcdat 145 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,685 I know I'm not very bright,cdat 146 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:28,254 on account of you explaining that to me,cdat 147 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,724 but I'm smart enough to know I like to eat.cdat 148 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,762 cdatcdat Ooh, still hot.cdat 149 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,665 Is that tomato?cdat 150 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,601 Yeah, made from freshly picked tomatoes right from my own garden.cdat 151 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,238 cdat Do I detect a hint of basil?cdatcdat 152 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,574 Also from my own gardent 153 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:53,847 cdat Um, can I, uh,cdat 154 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,615 please have some of that?cdat 155 00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,117 Sorry, city slicker.ct 156 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,186 Only enough for me and the prisonert 157 00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,263 cdatcdat - I feel bad eatin' in front of you. - Thank you.cdat 158 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,232 So you unlock yourself and go get you something.ct 159 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,633 We'll wait right heret 160 00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:15,201 You know what? I'm fine.cdat 161 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,770 I have been trained to go days without eating.cdat 162 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,877 cdat ( stomach growling loudly )cdatt 163 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,279 Okay, I have been trained, but my stomach hasn't.cdat 164 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,682 Please just give me a little bite, guys.cdatct 165 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,656 cdatcdat Here you go, honey.cdat 166 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,826 I need my other blanket. This one's scratchy.cdat 167 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:42,395 At least you get a blanket.cdat 168 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,697 I sleep in a box.cdat 169 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,668 - Here you go, sweetheart. - Thank you.cdatcdat 170 00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,904 Why can't he do anything for himself?cdat 171 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,439 He's sick.cdat 172 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,174 What kind of sickness turns a grown mancdat 173 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,843 - into a baby? - Every kind.cdat 174 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:02,249 But he is my husband in sickness and in health.cdt 175 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,951 cdat And he'd do it for me, so it's all good.cdat 176 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,187 Sweetheart, would you get me some soup?cdat 177 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,488 Sure, baby. I'll go heat some up for you.cdt 178 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,090 Oh, canned soup?cdat 179 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,160 I was hoping for my mama's make-you-feel-better soup.cdt 180 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,496 Are you suggestingcdat 181 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,665 that I call your mother,cdat 182 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,367 get the recipe,cdat 183 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,603 go to the store, buy all the ingredients,cdat 184 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,271 and spend the next three hourscdat 185 00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:26,672 making you soup?cdat 186 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,176 I would do it myself, but I'm just...cdat 187 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,678 ( coughing ) so sick.cdat 188 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,514 All right, fine. I'll make your mama's soup.cdt 189 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,983 Thank you. And sweetheart, before you go.cdat 190 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,052 - Uh-huh? - Am I hot?cdat 191 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,855 No, honey, you definitely ain't hot.cdat 192 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,833 cdatcdat Ooh, I am tired.cdat 193 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,469 If I don't get my eight hours, I am no good.ct 194 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,571 You're wanted in all 50 states.cdat 195 00:08:58,571 --> 00:08:59,939 We know you're no good.cdat 196 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,011 Besides, the second we fall asleep, you're gonna try to escape.cdatt 197 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,846 That's not true.cdat 198 00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:09,215 I'd wait ten minutes at least, just to be sure.cdat 199 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,984 Wait. You insist that we check into a motelcdat 200 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,754 so we don't get a good night's sleept 201 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:18,224 I'm just learning so much from you, professional.ct 202 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,593 Calling me professional is not an insult.cdat 203 00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:21,961 It's just accurate.cdat 204 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,365 Now we are not gonna sleep.cdatt 205 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,434 We're just gonna get some rest, all right?cdat 206 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,002 - Ow! - Oh, sorry.cdat 207 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,171 Other way. Ow!cdat 208 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,340 Okay, this is nuts. We gotta do this together.cdt 209 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:36,843 On three. One, two, three.cdat 210 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,345 cdat Scooch.cdat 211 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,680 Scooch.cdat 212 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:47,186 cdat - I need to be on the right or-- - For reals?cdat 213 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,922 I'll never get to sleep.cdat 214 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,224 How are we gonna do that?cdat 215 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,560 Lift your leg, I'll go under.cdat 216 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,796 KC: Watch the arm.cdat 217 00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,730 Like that.cdat 218 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,365 Okay, that's good.cdat 219 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,770 - I need to be on my stomach. - Are you serious?cdatcdt 220 00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:09,208 cdat This is ridiculous.cdat 221 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,379 That's my arm, that's my armt 222 00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:18,818 cdatcdat - Yeah, I meant the left. - KC: Hey!cdat 223 00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:21,287 No more movingt 224 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,127 cdat ( gunfire )cdat 225 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,496 ( shrieking )cdat 226 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,734 cdat - What was that? - Laser fire.cdatcdat 227 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,002 Let me put that in a way you might understand.cdat 228 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,304 Pew, pew. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.cdat 229 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,006 I know what a laser is.cdat 230 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:42,242 I meant who's shootin' at us and why?cdat 231 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,945 Probably the guy who hired me to hack the security systemcdt 232 00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:47,146 I didn't hack because you caught me.cdat 233 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,750 You know what? We need to go to the bathroom.ct 234 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,151 Oh, really? Is now the best time to try to figure that out?t 235 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,954 MAN: We know you're in there, Noah.cdat 236 00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:55,455 Come out or we're coming in.cdat 237 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,024 So much for the do not disturb sign. Let's go.cdat 238 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,996 cdat Is now a bad time to mention I'm afraid of heights?cdatt 239 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,866 I'm just kidding. I know it's a bad time.cdat 240 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:09,268 Don't worry. We're not gonna be up here very long.cdat 241 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,871 We're jumping.cdat 242 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,172 Jumpin'? And you think I'm the dumb one?cdat 243 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,308 It's our only chance, okay? We go on three.cdat 244 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,844 Thousand. We go on 3,000.t 245 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,180 - One... - Let's talk about this.cdat 246 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,015 - Two. - Please stop counting.cdat 247 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,784 - BOTH: Three. - ( screaming )cdat 248 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,525 cdatcdat ( scream echoing )cdat 249 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,892 Okay, on our butts.cdat 250 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,165 cdat - Now what? - We run.cdat 251 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,899 ( screaming )cdat 252 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,000 BOTH: We'll go your way.cdat 253 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,902 ( screaming )cdat 254 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,637 It's all right. I'm just a computer guy.cdat 255 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,906 It's not like I need my hands.cdat 256 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:49,175 Do you get paid extra for bringing him in in one piece?ct 257 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,576 - No. - Good to know.cdat 258 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,312 Let's got 259 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:58,184 cdat Let's take a look at our marital profilet 260 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:01,254 Okay, it says here I'm a court stenographet 261 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,990 making $53,000 a year.cdat 262 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:07,727 You're a dental hygienist making $42,000 a year.cdt 263 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,295 cdat Uh, yeah, no.cdat 264 00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,499 No, see, that can't be right,cdatcdat 265 00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,935 because I would never have a job making less money than you,cdat 266 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:18,938 or touching people's filthy mouths.cdat 267 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,442 cdat In fact, I don't want a job.cdatcdat 268 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,779 I see myself as a wealthy philanthropistcdat 269 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:28,581 who entertains dignitaries on her yacht.cdat 270 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,350 And I see myself passing this classt 271 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,386 One of our dreams could actually come truet 272 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,355 So pick a place to livet 273 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:38,024 I suggest we get a starter home in the suburbs.ct 274 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,894 Or we'd save lots of money by living with my parentst 275 00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:44,063 - and buying an even nicer house. - Ew! No way!cdat 276 00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,065 Why not? You practically live here alreadyt 277 00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,567 You are so controlling.cdat 278 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,769 I never should have married you.cdat 279 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,373 You think you're a bed of roses?t 280 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,542 I don't even know you anymoret 281 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,078 Will you two stop it?cdatct 282 00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:01,080 You wanna know how to make a relationship work?cdat 283 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,481 Just look at Craig and Kira.cdat 284 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:06,586 I spent five hours making his mama's dang soup.ct 285 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,221 cdat He doesn't like it.cdat 286 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,090 Now he wants me to heat up a cancdat 287 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:12,058 like I wanted to do in the first place.cdat 288 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,493 That man is driving me crazy!ct 289 00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:18,164 CRAIG: Hurry, Kira. I think I'm dying.cdatcdt 290 00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,500 I should be so lucky.cdat 291 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:29,409 cdatcdat Okay, this is the saddest marionette show I've ever seen.t 292 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,146 cdat Look, Annie Oakley,cdatcdt 293 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,981 I hate to interrupt your whittlin',cdat 294 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,416 but those guys are long gone, so we should keep going.cdat 295 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,651 Oh, reallyt 296 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,452 Because I grew up huntin't 297 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,088 and I think they're just waitin' for us to come out in the opencdat 298 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,190 so they can pick us off like a six-point buck.t 299 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,992 Here's another point. That's disgusting.cdat 300 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,995 You shouldn't be bragging about hunting defenseless animals.cdat 301 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,797 Yeah, she's right. Hunting is gross.cdat 302 00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,766 Would you prefer us gettin' caughtcdat 303 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,501 and taken out by your bosst 304 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,837 I don't know about you, but I'd rather be the hunter than the hunted.cdat 305 00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:02,108 On the other hand, hunting can be kinda cool.cdt 306 00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:04,711 Look, we need to move.cdat 307 00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,646 We gotta find somewhere to sleep tonight.cdat 308 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,181 I already got onet 309 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,183 I'm buildin' a lean-to.ct 310 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:16,189 cdat I guess a lean-to will work.cdatcdat 311 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:21,394 cdat Oh, sorry, Miss High and Mighty.t 312 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:24,297 It's a lean two, not a lean threet 313 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,570 cdatcdat Whatever happened to southern hospitality?cdat 314 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,040 Just gonna leave me out here high and dry.cdatt 315 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,142 ( thunder rumbles, rain falling )cdat 316 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,379 I said high and dry! Get over!cdatcdat 317 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,082 Sorry. No room at the inn. Get outt 318 00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:44,317 There would be plenty of room if you shut your big mouth!cdat 319 00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:49,088 cdat Would you both shush? I think I heard something.cdt 320 00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:51,524 Probably just a crittert 321 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:54,060 MAN: I see footprints. I think they're over there in that lean-to.cdat 322 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,029 I'm outta here. I'd invite you two to join me,ct 323 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,163 but you know what, you don't really have a choice, do you?cdat 324 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,171 cdatcdat ( coughing )cdat 325 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,075 Guess all I needed was a good night's rest.cdat 326 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,945 I feel great.cdat 327 00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,546 What you doing, napping in the morning?cdat 328 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,882 I don't feel good.cdat 329 00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:18,118 Buck up, you're fine.cdat 330 00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:20,086 But I'm not.cdat 331 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,289 My throat's all scratchy, I feel achy.cdat 332 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,124 I think I need some tea.cdat 333 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:27,860 That's a good idea. I'm going out for a run.cdat 334 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:34,634 cdat I'm sure he's just running out to get you some tissues.cdat 335 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,103 And by the way, I hate to pile oncdat 336 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,105 but it's "well."cdat 337 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,174 You don't feel well.cdat 338 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,717 cdatcdat - NOAH: Oh, wait, that's my boss' car. - KC: That hunk of junk?cdat 339 00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:53,652 I guess they're right when they say crime really doesn't pay.cdat 340 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,289 Hopefully, he doesn't mind if we borrow it,cdat 341 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,458 'cause fortunately, my bracelet has lock-picking capabilities.cdat 342 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,860 - Stand back. - You stand back.cdat 343 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:10,069 cdat Fortunately, my brain has "opening an unlocked door" capability.cdat 344 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:11,170 cdat Who's gonna drive?cdat 345 00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,239 - BOTH: I will. - ( gunfire )cdat 346 00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,174 On second thought, you drive. Let's go. Move it.cdat 347 00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:16,709 Move it, move it, move it!cdat 348 00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:25,685 cdatcdat ( sneezes )cdat 349 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,888 cdat Sorry.cdatcdat 350 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,192 Okay, look, this has all been really fun and everything,cdatcdat 351 00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:35,361 but you should know that when we get to D.C.,cdat 352 00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:36,762 I need to be the one to take him in.cdat 353 00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,964 Sorry. I can't let you do that, KC.cdat 354 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,500 My dad is countin' on me.cdat 355 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,202 What are you talking about?cdt 356 00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:44,704 The thing is, my daddy and my mamacdat 357 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,539 and my little brother and sister,cdat 358 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,441 we're all bounty hunters.cdat 359 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:52,512 Takin' down bad guys is sorta like our family business.cdat 360 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,448 Wait. So you work with your family to take down bad guys?ct 361 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:59,285 - Mm-hmm. - That's weird.cdat 362 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,354 You know, I think it's really sweetcdat 363 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,722 that you two are bonding,cdat 364 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,291 but I haven't slept in three days,cdat 365 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:08,127 Can we pull over so I can take a nap, please?cdat 366 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,363 ( yawning ) Okay. Okay, fine.cdat 367 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:14,133 But we have to all promise that none of us are gonna try to escape.cdat 368 00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:16,135 cdat Okay? So pinky swear, Pinky?cdat 369 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:17,903 Or Pinky, do you swear?cdat 370 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:21,674 I know I was swearin' a lot when you first showed up.cdat 371 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,276 Oh, just give me your pinky, Pinky.cdat 372 00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:30,350 cdat I'm sick of arguing with you over everything.cdat 373 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:32,384 Can we just decide how many kids we're having?cdat 374 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,254 I'm thinking four.cdat 375 00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,921 That seems like a nightmare.cdat 376 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,857 For the kids.cdat 377 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:40,693 Seriously? Four kidst 378 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,429 There is no way I am having four kids.cdat 379 00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,598 When would I find the time to hire and managecdat 380 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,834 all of those nannies?cdat 381 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,768 No nannies.cdat 382 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,371 I wanna be a stay-at-home dad.cdat 383 00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:53,239 You expect me to support this familycdat 384 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,274 on a dental hygienist's salary?!cdat 385 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:56,909 Forget it.cdat 386 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,878 Come on. I really wanna hearcdat 387 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,713 the pitter-patter of little feet.cdat 388 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,515 Get a dog.cdat 389 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,352 Fine. But if we don't have kids,cdatcdat 390 00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:09,088 then what do we do with the $200,000cdat 391 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,890 saved in the college fund?cdt 392 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:15,428 We saved $200,000t 393 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,431 cdat We're millionairest 394 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,700 Yeah, I don't think you're gonna have to worrycdt 395 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,802 about your kids going to college.cdat 396 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,511 cdatcdat Oh, sorry. For a second, I forgot...cdat 397 00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,647 That I wasn't handcuffed to anybody!cdatt 398 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:38,284 Dang it! Cannot believe I got dupedcdt 399 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,453 by that bumpkin spice latte.ct 400 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,092 cdatcdat So as you can seet 401 00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:47,794 my husband Ernestt 402 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:52,131 a very well-respected court stenographer, and I,cdat 403 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,167 cdat have decided not to have any children.cdat 404 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:59,104 And that dramatically increased our disposable incomet 405 00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:01,341 cdat I can now afford a fancy sports car.cdat 406 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,777 cdat And we purchased a second home.ct 407 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,412 A ski house in Vermont.ct 408 00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:10,182 That way, we never have to actually see each other.cdat 409 00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:13,085 Which makes me think this marriage can last forever.t 410 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,823 cdat But you didn't do the assignment.cdatcdat 411 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,991 You were supposed to balance a budget for a family.cdat 412 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,160 ( both laughing )cdat 413 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,996 This isn't the oldie days, Mrs. Greenfield.cdat 414 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:28,467 Right. You can be a family without having any kids.cdat 415 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:31,637 cdat Welcome to 2016.cdat 416 00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:34,773 I guess you guys kinda do make a point.cdat 417 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:38,411 All right. I am giving Marisa and Ernie an "A."cdat 418 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,515 cdat You know, we make a really good team...cdatcdat 419 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,551 Mrs. Cooper.cdat 420 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:46,786 Uh, nah.cdat 421 00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:59,732 cdatcdat See? This is why I don't go outside.cdat 422 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,968 This never would've happened inside my parents' basement.cdat 423 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,902 We're trappedt 424 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,838 I don't see any way out of this, short of a miracle.cdat 425 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,541 Aw, did you just call me a miracle?cdat 426 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,543 I always knew deep down, you admired me.cdat 427 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,813 If I didn't before, I sure do now. Help us.cdat 428 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,481 Oh, I would love to,cdat 429 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:18,884 right after I secure my prisoner.cdat 430 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,423 cdat Great. We're all back together.cdatcdat 431 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,027 cdatcdat Yeah, he's not firing back.cdat 432 00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,063 - I think I scared him off. - Think again.cdat 433 00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,944 cdatcdat I hope you'll still give me a good recommendation.cdat 434 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,613 I get all my work on referrals.cdat 435 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,397 cdatcdat Aw, come on! What did I do to deserve this?cdat 436 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:06,565 Hacked a bunch of computerst 437 00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,634 Stole sensitive information.cdat 438 00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:09,969 Sold secrets to the highest biddert 439 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,472 But you know what. Don't beat yourself up.cdat 440 00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:20,479 cdatcdat Hey, Kira, how you doing?cdat 441 00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:22,047 Leave me alone.cdat 442 00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:23,448 What's wrong?cdat 443 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,217 What's wrong?cdat 444 00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:28,253 You know, you get sick, and I took care of you.cdat 445 00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,089 But the moment I don't feel well,cdat 446 00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:33,526 then you just disappear and run out the door.cdat 447 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,497 cdat Oh, really?cdatt 448 00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:39,765 Well, for your information, I just went and got youcdat 449 00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:42,835 your favorite Chinese hot and sour soup.cdt 450 00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:49,175 cdat You mean, you went all the way across towncdat 451 00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:50,910 to bring me my favorite Chinese soup?cdat 452 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:53,012 I knew it always makes you feel better.t 453 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:57,783 - Aw, Craig. You're the best. - Oh!cdat 454 00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:00,686 cdat - Honey, I'm sorry I misjudged you. - It happens.cdat 455 00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:03,489 I'd give you a big kiss, but I don't wanna make you sick again.cdat 456 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:04,924 ( shudders t 457 00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:14,133 cdatcdat Where are you going? You just got home.cdat 458 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,668 Back to the Chinese place.cdt 459 00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,036 Kira took my soup.cdat 460 00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:23,509 cdatcdat Well, that's the buildint 461 00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,778 where we're supposed to hand over this clownt 462 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,713 Oh, clown.cdat 463 00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:30,349 You have a cute little nickname for me and everything.t 464 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,984 What do you say we rethink this wholecdat 465 00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:33,519 takin' me to jail business?cdt 466 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:35,721 Oh, zip it.cdat 467 00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:38,657 Well, go on. Take him in.cdat 468 00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:40,626 Me?!cdat 469 00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:41,627 Yeah, you.cdat 470 00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:43,162 I mean, you deserve it.cdat 471 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:44,964 I gotta admit, you outsmarted me at every turnt 472 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:47,066 Yeah, then you saved my hide.cdat 473 00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:49,068 If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be herecdat 474 00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:50,536 to accept the bounty. He's all yours.cdat 475 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,670 Really, I think you should take him in.cdat 476 00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:52,938 - No, you take him in. - You do it.cdat 477 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,378 cdat First one to find him takes him in.cdat 478 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:00,446 You're on.cdat