cdatcdat ♪
cdatcdat She looks so beautiful.cdat
She's a'ight.cdt
cdat Seasonal allergiest
No, I always cry at weddings.cdat
Technically, I always cry when I'm forced to wear a dresst
cdat Please be seated.cdatcdat
cdat Dearly beloved,cdatcdat
I am so happy to be invited here todaycdat
to join these two people together.cdat
Joining two people?cdat
What sick games are they playing in this place?cdat
cdat Judy, it's a metaphorical joiningt
He's joining them together in marriagt
because they're the perfect people for each other.cdt
Can't he join them somewhere more comfortable?cdt
This place can afford a pipe organ,cdat
but we can't get some seat cushions up in here?t
What are you complaining aboutt
Your butt is made out of titanium.t
Judy's right. These seats are tough on the butt.cdat
And mine's just made out of regular tushy meat.cdat
Ernie, watch your language. We're in a church.cdat
Although truth be told, I can barely feelcdat
my right cheek.cdat
Marriage is not to be entered into lightly,cdat
but with mindfulnesscdat
that this commitment is forever.cdat
You know what feels like forever?cdat
This ceremony.cdat
Dad, will you tell Judy that marriage is a beautiful part of life?cdat
Oh, I like marriaget
I just don't likecdat
having to buy the happy couple a $300 toaster.cdat
This ring symbolizescdat
your commitment to each othercdat
Why does this random dude decide that they're married?ct
Judy, he's not a random dudet
He's a kind-hearted guy who has spent his entire lift
dedicated to helping the community.cdat
cdat ( screaming )cdatcdat
cdatcdat Well, I guess that's worth the price of the toaster.cdat
cdat Okay, so just to be clear,cdatcdat
you're saying that that preachercdat
was actually an agent for the Other Side.cdat
Working deep covert
That preacher was no preachert
He wasn't even ordained.cdat
That makes no sense.cdat
We've known him forever.cdat
He married us, for goodness sake.cdat
Are you sure?cdat
I would know. I was there.cdat
And I paid for itt
Wait.cdat
If he wasn't ordained,cdat
then that means...cdat
I now pronounce you not really husbandcdat
and not really wife.cdat
cdat I guess you may now kiss anyone you want.cdatcdat
cdat ♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪cdatcdat
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪cdat
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep things hustle cool ♪cdat
♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪cdat
cdat ♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪cdat
cdat ♪ I'm not perfect ♪cdat
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪cdat
cdat ♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪cdat
cdat ♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪cdat
♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪cdat
♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪cdat
♪ But I always got your back ♪cdat
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪cdat
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪cdat
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪cdat
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪cdat
I keep it undercover.cdat
cdatcdat I cannot believe we are sitting around here like nothing even happened.cdt
Ernie apologized, we lit a match.cdat
We're all moving on with our lives.cdat
Dad, I'm talking about you not actually being married.t
I call a family meeting.cdat
If you were never actually married,cdat
that means our entire lives have been a lie.cdat
Our family's a sham. We are a shamily.cdat
What was your first clue?cdatcdt
The robot sister?cdat
KC, come on, relaxt
We'll make it official, go down to the courthouset
and take care of it tomorrow.cdat
No, tomorrow's the deadline for my fantasy football picks.ct
- Craig. - Yay, we're getting married tomorrow!cdat
cdat Come on, let's go to bed.cdat
All right.cdat
Uh-uh-uh-uh. Separate rooms, okay,cdat
until you're officially married.cdat
Mom, you're gonna be in my room, Dad, you bunk with Ernie.cdat
And who's sleeping in our room?cdat
Me. My parents are getting married,cdat
I need a good night's sleep.cdat
cdatcdat Oh, okay, look at you, girl.cdat
Is it picture day or something?cdat
I wish I would've known. I'd have worn my fancy plaid shirt.cdat
As I have mentioned countless times,cdt
there is no such thing as a fancy plaid shirtt
cdat And I am dressed like this for after school.cdatcdat
Where you going?cdat
Formal detention?cdat
No. I am doing inventory at the food bank,cdt
and I wanna look good.cdat
Uh, Marisa, you do know that potatoes don't have actual eyes, right?cdat
cdat No, but Adam does,cdat
and now that we are dating and working together,cdat
I can't go in looking anything but my best.cdat
Okay. As long as the hungry get fed.cdat
The who?cdt
Oh... yeah!cdat
Of course. It is all about them.t
cdat Obviously.cdat
Thanks for carrying my books, Ernie.cdatcdat
Any time, Akina.cdat
Sorry you had to carry them for a minute.cdat
I didn't like the idea of your bookscdat
being inside of the boys' bathroom.ct
cdat So am I supposed to hug youcdatct
before you get to class or when I pick you up aftert
Or do we hug twicet
Unless it's too mucht
and you'd rather mix in the occasional fist bumpt
See you later.cdat
Later as in later latert
or later as in you're breaking up with met
You're so funny.cdat
I'm not funny, I'm worried.cdat
cdat Can I give you a little dating advice, bro?ct
Dating advice from the famous love expert KC Cooper?cdat
Hey, maybe when you're done, you can go down to the mayor's officecdat
and help with the housing crisis.cdat
Oh, wait, you don't know anything about that either.cdat
cdat I do know that Akina likes yout
I just don't know whyt
So forget the craziness in your head and just enjoy it.t
It may never happen againt
cdat She's right. I better keep Akina happy,cdt
or I wasted a lot of money on that bicycle built for two.t
cdatcdat Really romantic spot for a wedding.cdat
Was the mortuary not available?cdat
They have to get their license.cdat
Then it's all about love and romance.cdat
In fact, where are Mom and Dad?cdat
Forget them. Where's Akina?cdat
I texted her ten minutes ago.cdat
I was afraid of this. It's all coming apart!cdat
No, you're coming apart, man. Get it together, little boy.cdat
cdat - Where were you guys? - Food Warehouse.cdatcdat
Let's move this along. I got 12 pounds of tilapia in the car.cdat
Yeah, we ran out of change so we only have ten minutes on the meter.cdat
Ooh, you know what? Ask those people in front if we can cut in.cdat
Guys, this is your wedding day.cdat
Can we not put a time limit on it?cdat
And Dad, what are you wearing?cdat
These are my comfy pants.cdat
No, those are sweat pants, with stains on them.cdat
Did you get a pizza at the Food Warehouse?cdat
Of course not.cdat
They were giving 'em away.cdt
Why buy it if you can try it?cdat
And he tried it six times.cdatt
Brought some of my quick-change disguises.cdt
cdat Come on, guys, this is not romantic at all.cdt
Oh, KC, would you just stop?cdat
Come on, let's just get this over witht
You were right, KC.cdat
This is romantic.cdat
Next. Next!!cdatcdat
Okay.cdat
cdatcdat - I object. - Excuse me.cdat
That's right, I object.cdat
I object toot
Akina should be here with us.ct
She's practically familyt
Guys, this is not how it's supposed to go.cdatct
KC, I thought this is what you wantedt
No. I want you guys to have a real wedding.cdat
cdat A big one with dresses,cdat
and flowers and music and a real preacher,cdat
and our friends and family to be there.cdat
I don't even care if you don't wanna do it,cdat
because like you two are gonna say to each other later,t
I do.cdat
cdatcdat Hey, Dad, I've been making arrangements for the wedding,ct
but before I finalize anything,cdat
you have to ask Pops for Mom's hand in marriage.cdt
Why? I already got her hand,cdat
and her foot and everything in between.cdt
It's tradition.cdat
( muffled ) Fine. I'll shoot him an email.cdat
No need. Okay?cdat
- Pops! - Yeah?cdat
cdat ( muffled ) What the heck are you doing here?cdatcdt
And howdy do to you, too.cdat
KC's saying you got an important question.cdat
Let me guess.cdat
How do you get salsa stains out of sweat pants?cdat
Because the answer is you can't. You gotta buy new pants.cdat
Go ahead, Dad. Ask Pops your important question.cdat
Fine. May I have your permission to marry Kira/cdat
It doesn't sound like you very excitedcdat
about making an honest woman of my daughter.cdat
Yeah, Dad, put down the nachos.cdatct
Stand up, tuck in your shirtt
do it nicet
Fine. Pops.cdat
Excuse me. What did you call me?cdat
( rueful chuckle )cdat
- Mr. King. - Yeah, yeah.cdat
Would you please do me the honorcdat
of giving me your daughter's hand in marriage?ct
I don't know. I'm not sure you're the right man for her.cdat
You were sure 20 years agot
Actually, I wasn't, but I got outvoted.cdat
- Are you kidding me? - Dad.cdat
Before I answer,cdat
where do you see yourself in 20 years?cdat
Not on my knees, begging you to marry my own wife.cdat
I don't like your attitude, not-so-young man.cdat
cdat Didn't like it then, don't like it now.cdatcdat
I'm not sure you're good enough for my daughter.cdat
I may not be good enought
but all her clothes are already here,ct
so can we wrap this upt
Dad, you are asking for the love of your life's hand in marriage.cdat
You are not ordering a taco from a taco truck.cdat
And if he did get a taco, it'd probably just end upcdat
all over his sweatpants.cdat
Is that a yest
I don't know. I'm not surecdat
I like the idea of my daughter marrying a spy. It's dangerous work.cdat
You better say yes, old man,cdat
or you're gonna see dangerous.cdat
Are you threatening El Dorado?cdat
cdat Pops, just give him a break.cdatcdat
All right, take her. She's yours.cdat
That was so romantict
Oh, man, I forgot to record it.cdat
Can you guys do that one more time?cdat
cdatcdat Look, my parents deserve the best wedding money can buy,t
but I am not paying extra for pigs in a blanket.cdat
I don't even eat the pigs. I just need the blankets.cdat
You have got to bring the cost down.cdat
No, absolutely not.cdat
Cutting the Viennese dessert table is not an option.t
It is a must-have.cdat
Like the fireworks and the horse-drawn carriage.ct
Come on, give me your best price.cdatcdat
What is the bottom line?cdat
Mm-mm, that is way too many commas.cdat
cdat Fine. Cancel Michael Bublé.cdt
Wow. Planning a wedding isn't stressful at all.cdat
It's gonna be all worth it.cdat
Actually, I'm really excited about this wedding.cdat
Oh, George. George, over heret
cdat Thank yout
Uh, you're now receiving your online shopping deliveriest
cdat in the cafeteria?cdat
I didn't wanna be rude and do it during French class.t
I'm assuming that is a present for my parents' wedding.cdat
No, the invitation said no gifts.cdat
Actually, it didn't.cdat
Well, mine did. I penciled it in.cdat
cdat This is my new outfit for work today.cdatcdat
Adam has seen all my other clothes.cdat
I don't know how much longer me and my mom's credit cardcdt
can keep this up.cdat
Here's an idea, Marisa. Don't keep it up.cdat
Either he likes you for you or he doesn't.cdat
No amount of cute outfits in the world's gonna change that.t
Sh. Not in front of the clothes.cdat
Marisa, there's only one way to know for sure.cdat
You're right. Tell him I'm moving to Argentina,cdat
see if he visits me during spring break.cdat
Okay, there's only two ways to know for sure.cdt
But before you ship him off to South America,cdat
let's try my idea first.cdat
Just show up to work with greasy hair,cdat
no makeup, and your plain most boring outfit.cdat
Why can't I just move to Argentina?cdat
Marisa, think of it as a test.cdat
A love test.cdat
Fine. But why is your solution to everything to take a test?ct
cdat Uh-uh-uh-uh.cdatcdat
Let your man get that.cdat
cdat For milady.cdatcdat
Here comes the choo-choo.cdat
Thanks. I'm not hungry anymore.cdat
I gotta go stop by the library.cdat
Stop right there!cdat
cdatcdat Milady.cdat
Why'd you do that?cdat
So you don't get your shoes dirtyt
Well, I could've just walked around it,cdat
like a normal person.cdat
Anyway, call me later.cdat
cdatcdat Hey, Akina.cdat
It's later.cdat
So... how you doing?cdat
cdatcdat What did those roses ever do to you?cdat
Watch and learn, Judy.cdat
I am setting the stage for the perfect proposal.cdat
Dad will say something romantic,cdat
Mom will cry, and then they'll kiss.cdat
And then I'll vomit.cdat
Just keep it off the petals.cdat
Hey, KC, what did those roses ever do to you?cdt
cdat I am setting a romantic atmospherecdat
for you to propose to Mom.cdat
Propose? Oh, honey, this whole wedding thingcdat
- is getting out of control. - And expensive.cdat
Hey, I cancelled Michael Bublé.cdat
There is nothing left to scale back on.cdat
I demand a proper proposal.cdat
Like a dog with a bone.cdt
cdat All right, stand in the middle.cdatcdat
Now hold hands. Hold hands, go ahead.cdat
There we go.cdat
Judy, lights to position two.cdat
cdatcdat All right, now, Dad, three, two, one. Dazzle us.cdt
cdat So Kira, what do you say we-t
Wait!cdat
You need to get down on one knee.cdat
Child, I am not getting down on one knee.cdat
cdat If he does, he might not get back up again.cdat
cdat Good point.cdatcdat
- Honey, why don't you crouch a little? - For you.cdat
What is wrong with you people?cdat
I am trying to make this weddingcdat
as memorable as the first one.cdat
Please. Who remembers that day?cdat
It's all a blurt
Excuse me?cdat
cdat You don't remember our wedding day?cdatcdat
cdatcdat Not really.cdat
It was a long time ago, babyt
I mean, do you at least remember what you said to mecdat
after I walked down the aisle?cdat
Of course.cdat
I said, "Is that what you're wearing?t
( laughing t
Oh.cdat
So what, this is just a big joke to you?cdat
Uh, Judy, back to one, please.cdat
You said that you would never forget that moment,cdatcdt
but apparently, you have.cdat
Sweetie, are you gonna make a big deal outta this?cdat
Are you gonna remember it if I do?cdat
Uh, first song.cdat
You guys have not picked a first song yet.cdat
The most important day of our livescdat
meant nothing to you.cdat
Any song will do. Anything but Michael Bublé.cdt
Kira, enough is enough.ct
"Enough Is Enough."cdat
I've never heard that one, but you know what?cdat
If you like it, I like it, too.cdat
Enough is enough?cdat
For your information, Craig,cdat
I happen to remember every detail like it happened yesterday.cdat
Baby, this is sillyt
You know what? If it's so silly,cdat
then why don't we just call the whole thing off?cdat
- If that's what you want, fine. - Fine!cdat
Thank you, KC.cdat
cdat Yeah. Thanks a lot, KC.cdatcdt
cdat Well, he didn't say anything romantic,t
they didn't kiss, but she sure did cryt
cdatcdat Hello.cdat
Is something wrong?cdat
Oh, no.cdat
Everything is great.cdt
Except me and Adam are no longer a couplet
Oh. I'm really sorry about that, Marisa. What happened?cdat
I'll tell you what happened.ct
I took your advicet
I didn't dress up for workt
I didn't wash my hairt
I didn't put on makeupt
and I wore overallst
That's right. Overalls.cdat
What happened? He broke up with youcdat
because he thought you looked terrible?cdat
No. Worse.cdat
He told me that I have never looked cuter.cdt
And how is that a bad thing?cdat
How am I supposed to date someonecdat
who does not appreciate my fabulous sense of style,cdt
and how much work I put into looking good.cdat
It's over. Thanks a lot, KC.cdat
What did I do?cdat
Thanks to you, Akina's no longer interested.cdat
And how is that my fault?cdat
You were the one who told me to actcdat
like this may never happen again.cdat
And guess what. Now it won't.cdat
Look, relax, okayt
If you want my advice on how to get her back-t
No. Keep your advice to yourself.cdat
- You're a jinx. A love jinx. - That is ridiculous.cdat
Doesn't sound ridiculous to met
You know what? There is nothing saddercdat
than two people who blame their failed relationshipscdt
on someone else.cdat
If you want my advice--cdat
BOTH: We don't!cdat
cdat Stay away from her, you two.cdatct
She's a love jinx.cdat
A love jinx!cdat
cdatcdat CRAIG: Hey, here's a proposal.t
How about you sleep on the coucht
So is fighting like cats and dogscdat
a part of romance?cdat
They're not fightingt
Dad is just, you know, trying to make things unpredictable.cdat
That is how you keep romance alive.cdat
KIRA: I could sleep on the kitchen countercdat
with the disposal running, and it would still be quieterct
than your snoring.cdat
And Mom is just offering him some feedbackcdat
on a possible health issuet
Okay, who am I kiddingt
Ernie's right, I'm a love jinxt
But you know what? I have got to fix things with my parentst
Watch and learn.cdat
( clears throat )cdat
Mom, quick. I need your help.cdat
Twisted my ankle.cdat
Ow. A couple more "W's." Send.cdat
Dad, Ernie's trying to cook again.cdat
- KC, I got your text. - Ernie, get away from the ovent
cdat I see your ankle's all right.cdatcdat
Uh-uh. Guyst
You need to talk to each other and work this out.ct
I have nothing to say to this man.cdat
And this man has nothing to hear from that womant
Guys, you should not be fighting like thist
This isn't you.cdat
Look, it's my fault.cdat
I got upset when I realizedcdat
you guys weren't technically married,cdat
because out of all the people in the world,ct
you guys are the perfect married couple.cdt
You're the perfect parents.cdat
I think of building a life with someone one day,cdat
and I want my marriage to be just like yours.cdat
The only reason I wanted to have this big, beautiful ceremonycdat
is 'cause I love and respect you guys so much.ct
I just wanted you guys to have cakecdat
and dresses and a party.cdat
I wanted everything to be just like the first daycdat
you walked down the aisle.cdt
And I wanted it to mean something.cdat
It meant something the first time.cdat
The moment I saw your mother walk down that aisle,cdat
I knew in my heart I was hers forever.ct
You gave me that little wink.ct
You remembered.cdat
Of course I rememberedt
It was the best moment of my life.cdat
The moment my life truly started.cdt
That's exactly what you said that day.cdat
Oh, right. Gotchat
cdatcdat Kira.cdat
I have loved loving you these past 20 years,cdt
cdat and I don't intend to ever stop.cdat
Will you marry me... again?cdatcdat
I will.cdat
cdat See that? Dad said something romantic,ct
and now they're kissing just like I said.cdat
cdat Judy, are you cryingt
cdat No. My orbital socket is leaking.cdatcdat
cdat It's a... manufacturer's defect.cdat
cdatcdat Dearly beloved,cdat
we are gathered here today,cdat
against my better judgment,cdt
cdat Heck of a turnoutt
Look, a guy just got arrested here.cdat
Technically, it's still a crime scene.cdat
Kira, do you take Craig to be your husband,cdat
cdat knowing everything you already know?cdat
cdat - Daddy. I do. - Oh.cdat
cdat - Craig. - Yes.cdatcdat
Do you take Kira to make youcdat
the luckiest man on Earth?cdat
I do, I definitely do.cdat
cdat Oh.cdat
cdat Then by the power vested in me,cdatcdat
I pronounce you husband and wife.cdat
cdat ( watch chiming )cdatcdat
Uh-oh.cdat
Looks like we're gonna have to honeymoon in Luxemburg.t
We just got a mission.cdat
- Kids. - Bye.cdat
- Pops. - Yeah.cdat
I didn't know you were ordained.cdat
Did you do it over the internet?cdat
Ordained over the internet?cdt
No. I just repeated what people always say on TV.cdat
Then that means they're not really married.cdatt
Someone grab a minister. We're moving this party to Luxemburg.cdat
Let's go.cdat