cdatcdat ♪
cdat Previously...cdatcdat
I didn't get to properly introduce myself before.cdat
I'm KC Cooper, and I'm your cousin.cdat
I'm actually looking at my mother's face.cdat
- Abby, she's alive. - What?cdat
She's alive, and I know where she is.cdat
We did good, Mom.cdat
You did good.cdat
So what are you really doing here?cdat
- Carrying out my mission. - Which is?cdat
To win KC's trust so she'd convince Kiracdat
to bring me to you.cdat
cdatcdat Abby and Erica just have us backed into a corner,cdat
and we're just supposed to carry out whatever mission they ask of us.cdat
This is awful, and part of me feels like it's all my fault.cdat
Why would you feel that way, honey?cdat
Just because you insisted on being friends with Abbycdat
even after I said let it go, and because you insisted oncdt
making her a part of the family,cdat
even though I said she was bad news,cdat
and because you were the one that talked me intocdat
reuniting Abby with her mother,cdat
dragging my evil freak of a sistercdat
out from under a rock and back into our lives?cdat
No, honey, it ain't your fault at all.cdat
cdat You're not perfect either, you know.cdat
cdatcdat Thanks for showing up, ladiest
Not that you had a choice.cdat
Oh, Erica, nice shoes.cdat
I'd love to take a better look at themcdat
right after a twister drops a house on you.cdat
Interesting location for a meeting.cdatcdat
It's a convenient location,cdat
since your mission will be carried outcdat
at the Georgetown Potomac Hotel.cdat
That's where the election night results party's being held.cdat
I'm impressed, KCt
Now I feel bad for calling you a gullible idiott
Oh, do you want a beat down,cdat
'cause I'm having a two-for-one special,cdat
and I do not charge delivery. Let's go!cdat
All right, all right.cdat
Okay, Erica, come on, let's get this over with. What do you want?cdat
KC will sneak us and a weaponcdat
past hotel security tomorrow night.cdat
What? Absolutely not. I'm not gonna let my baby do that.cdat
( baby voice ) Oh, poor little KCt
Do you also need a nap during your missiont
cdat Oh, poor wittle Abby.cdatcdat
Do you have a bwuised spween?cdat
That's enough, KC.cdat
But good shot, baby.cdat
If you don't do what you're told,cdatcdat
I'll be more than happy to take an ax to the family tree.cdat
starting with your branch.cdat
I'll be escorting you to the hotel personally tomorrow night.cdatcdat
But it's impossible to bring a weapon intocdat
that highly secured area.cdat
Unless your father's the future vice-president'scdat
head of security detail.cdat
Wow, two for twot
Even a stopped clock is right once a dayt
( derisive chuckle ) It's twice a day.cdat
If you're gonna make some sarcastic barbs,cdat
at least try to make them right, okay?cdat
cdatcdat This is Agent Johnson. Code red.cdat
The future president could be at risk.cdat
( drunkenly ) Have a blessed day.cdat
( normal voice ) Darn it. That was a six-dollar espresso.cdat
cdat ♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪cdatcdat
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪cdat
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep things hustle cool ♪cdat
♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪cdat
cdat ♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪cdat
cdat ♪ I'm not perfect ♪cdat
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪cdat
cdat ♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪cdat
cdat ♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪cdat
♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪cdat
♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪cdat
♪ But I always got your back ♪cdat
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪cdat
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪cdat
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪cdat
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪cdat
I keep it undercover.cdat
You know, I'd say I'll miss you, Ernie,cdat
but my parents taught me not to lie.cdat
Well, don't let the door hit yacdat
where the good Lord split ya.cdat
cdat That kid has no respect for met
If I never see him again, it'll be too soon.cdat
You're heading up his security teamcdat
for the election results party tomorrow night.cdat
So I guess it's too soon.cdat
What? I'm on the verge of killing that obnoxious kid.t
Good. Then you can start by protecting him from yourselft
Fine. It's my own fault.cdat
I guess I'm just too darn good at what I do.cdt
cdat Yeah, let's just call it that.cdatcdat
cdat You need to get that weapon through securityt
then await further instructiont
You don't have to do this, you know.cdat
( derisive chuckle t
You don't get itt
I'm not the sweet little orphan girl I pretended to be.t
I'm not being forced. I want to do it.cdat
I was talking about taking Connecticut Avenue.cdat
cdat I mean, with this traffic, we're not gonna move anywhere.ct
So how about you just turn around,cdat
and we'll do this next election.cdat
Enough, KC. You're not gonna change my mind.cdat
cdat Look, Abby, I think you're confused.cdat
You just got your mom back, and you wanna make her happy,ct
- and that's normal. - ( evil laughter )cdat
That evil laugh, that's not normal.cdat
This is not about my mom.cdat
This is about a lifetime of preparation.cdt
I was trained to be the best of the worst.cdat
Please. I have seen better worse.cdat
I mean, you're not the worst best of the worst,ct
but you are definitely not the best best of the worst.cdt
For your information, I'm special.cdat
- How? - I just am.cdat
- Yeah, whatever. - I am.cdat
No, you're just like everybody else.cdat
Oh, really? Was everybody else raised by the head of the Other Side?cdat
Yeah, right. No one even knows who the head of the Other Side is.cdat
I do. I call him Daddy.cdat
That seems inappropriate.cdat
cdat Unless he's your actual daddy.cdatcdt
What can I say?cdat
I was born to be bad.cdat
Yeah, well, you weren't born to drive,cdat
because we've been sitting at this green lightcdat
for the past two minutes.cdat
( horns honking )cdat
cdatcdat COLIN: Who is itt
It's Ernie.cdat
- Ernie who? - Ernie Cooper.cdat
I don't think I know an Ernie Cooper.cdat
You knew me when you left my house yesterday.ct
Oh! That Ernie Cooper.cdat
Sorry. I'm not supposed to open the door.cdat
You can for me.cdat
I'm your head of security.cdat
If you're my head of security,cdat
then why can't you open the door?cdat
Just open it!cdat
cdat Thank you.cdatcdat
Look, I know you think I'm a loser,cdat
but I'm very qualified to keep you safe,cdat
and I'll be keeping my eyes on you at all times.ct
So in other words, you're my babysitter?cdat
Well, if I am, that makes you a babyt
Well, if I'm a baby, go ahead and change my diaper!ct
If the job requires it, I will.cdat
cdat - This just got weird. - Big time.cdatcdat
cdat ( machine beeps )cdatcdat
- Next. - ( machine beeps )cdat
Keep moving.cdat
Move it alongt
Okay, I'm in. What do I do now?cdat
ABBY: Get through security using the cloaking gadgetcdt
I gave you, like we planned.cdat
Stop talking to me. You look like a lunatic.cdt
Says the girl who has an elaborate plancdatcdat
to take over the world.cdat
cdat Keep movingt
Nextt
cdat Nextt
Keep movingt
Nextt
cdat Move it alongt
Keep moving.cdatcdat
cdatcdat ( alarm beeps )cdat
We need to do that again.cdat
cdatcdat Next.cdat
Excuse me. You've been selected for random pat-down.ct
cdatcdat Weapon! Get down!cdat
cdat KC? What are you doing here?cdatcdat
Uh, is it Bring Your Daughter To Work Day?cdt
I'm sorry, Craig. I forgot to tell you.cdat
I asked KC to be extra back-up.cdat
It's all right. She's with us. It's all right.cdat
KC, you need to be more careful.cdat
These agents don't know you.cdat
They thought you were trying to sneak a weapon in here.cdt
( nervous laughter )cdat
cdatcdat Keeping this secret from your father is killing me.t
Yeah, I have another secret that you can't tell him about.cdat
I just found out that Abby's dadt
- is the head of the Other Side. - Seriously?cdat
My sister married the head of the Other Side?cdat
And my parents were disappointed when I chose your father.cdat
Wait till they hear this.cdat
cdat ABBY: Keep moving.cdatcdt
Telling Kira about my dad won't do any good.cdat
Without a name or a face, you have nothing.cdat
Nothing but a deep hatred for my cousin.cdat
cdatcdat On your left room 1217.cdat
cdat It's locked. What now.cdatcdat
I guess we'll have to call off the mission.cdat
You might as well go home.cdat
- Really? - No!cdat
You're a spy. Is this your first locked door?t
No, it's not my first locked door.cdat
cdatcdat Place the dart gun in the desk drawer.cdat
Okay, I did it.cdat
KC, there are cameras everywhere.cdat
I can see you. If you don't believe me,cdt
that pant suit is no friend of yours.cdat
Now put the dart gun in the drawer.cdat
cdatcdat KC?cdat
Oh, Senator Cleveland.cdat
I was just, um... checking the room.cdat
Making sure everything's secure.cdat
You know, like me,cdat
because I am rocking this pant suit.cdat
In fact, I am rocking itcdat
harder than it's ever been rocked before.cdat
- Right, Senator? - Oh, yes, yes.cdat
You look very nice, KC.cdat
Uh... thank you?cdat
cdat No problem.cdat
cdatcdat Mom, come in.cdat
cdatcdat Room service.cdat
Compliments of the hotel.cdat
In honor of you winning the election.cdat
Oh, well, we haven't won yet.cdat
Oh, Senator, if I didn't think you were going to win,ct
I wouldn't be here.cdat
cdat Now...cdat
Listen to the sound of my voice.cdat
You do remember the sound of my voice, don't you?cdat
cdat I remember.cdat
And I await your instructionst
It worked.cdat
He's completely under my control now.cdat
After I nail Ellis with this dart,cdt
he'll go into a comat
and our vice-presidential puppetcdat
will be the acting president of the United States.t
cdat You need that sugar like you need a hole in your head.ct
How would you like a hole in your headt
- Try it. I dare you. I dare you! - You make me sick.cdat
I can't stand the sight of you.cdat
Gotta admit, I missed you, babe.cdat
Same here, sweetheart.cdat
( knock on door )cdat
cdat Colin, where are you?cdatct
Dude, it's not cool to ditch your security.cdat
Just kidding, sir.cdat
I know exactly where your son is.cdat
Sir? Are you all right?cdat
Hello! Are you okay?cdat
Oh, he's fine. Just a little brainwashed.cdat
Aunt Erica. I didn't know you were in DC.cdat
Hey, when did you get a job in the hotel?cdat
cdat Ernie, you are now under my control.cdat
cdat Do you understand?cdat
Yes, Aunt Ericat
You will forget you ever saw me.cdat
And just to be sure you don't get in the way tonight,cdat
whenever you hear the word "election,"cdat
you will have the overwhelming urge to pee.ct
cdat Do you understand?cdat
Yes, I understandt
Let's be sure. Election.cdat
Election. - ( zipper unzips )cdat
Stop!cdat
To be clear,cdatcdat
you will take care of your urge in the bathroom.cdt
cdatcdat Excuse me. Sorry.cdat
Mom, I figured out what their plan ist
The second Ellis is elected president,cdat
they're gonna shoot him with a dart guncdat
so we need to find out who's going to use that weapon.t
Or you can keep your mouth shutcdat
and maybe your family will live.cdat
Bacon-wrapped fig?ct
Look, what you guys are doing is wrongt
and you're not gonna get away with it.cdt
This is all gonna be tracked back to yout
Will it?cdat
Or will it get tracked back to the person whose fingerprintt
are on the dart gun?cdat
Which would be met
You're gonna pin this on your own niece?cdat
We were never really that close.cdat
cdat Oh, yeah? Well, you are awful.cdatct
You just disgust me.cdat
cdat There were no vegetarian options on that tray.cdatct
cdat What am I supposed to eat, the napkin?cdat
Vege-phobes.cdat
Mom, I'm serious.cdt
What they're doing can take down the entire country.ct
KC, you know what? I think it's timecdat
we let your father and the Organization know what's going on.cdat
cdat Dad, Erica and Abby are here.t
What? How is that even possible?cdat
No one has gotten in or out of this partycdat
without me knowing about it.cdat
Yeah, well, I kinda sorta snuck them int
- KC! - Dad, before you yell at me,cdat
okay, it gets worset
They're here with the head of the Other Side.t
They're planning on doing something to Elliscdat
the second he becomes presidentt
That's impossible.cdat
I'm in charge of security.cdat
There's no way to get a weapon in here.cdat
- Unless KC snuck one in. - KC!cdat
Dad, before you yell at me,cdat
it gets even worset
cdat Look, because we don't knowcdatcdt
who the head of the Other Side is,cdat
or what he looks like, we can't stop him.cdat
Now you can yell at met
KC, good work.t
Good work? How is that good work?cdat
The guy isn't gonna be president for two minutes,cdat
and thanks to her, he could be on his way out.cdat
Always with the glass half full, huh, Craigt
We've been trying to figure outcdat
who the head of the Other Side is for years.cdat
Thanks to KC, we at least know he's in this room.ct
It's the closest we've ever beent
to taking him downt
You're welcome.cdat
And we can talk about my thank-you convertible another time.cdat
Save it, KCt
We've been monitoring you for the last two weeks.ct
The only thing you did rightt
was to finally come to us with the trutht
Okay, can you keep that in mindcdat
when you find my fingerprints all over the weaponcdat
- used to take down the president? - That's it!cdat
If they're gonna frame you,cdat
then the head of the Other Sidecdat
can't leave his fingerprints on the dart gun,cdat
so all we have to do is find the guycdat
at this party wearing gloves.cdat
Of course.cdat
And how hard could it be to find someone wearing gloves?t
cdatcdat Apparently a lot harder than I thought it would be.cdt
cdatcdat All right, we have plenty of time,cdat
because I'm assuming they're not gonna docdat
anything to Ellis unless he's actually elected,cdat
We're not gonna know those results for a few hours.t
REPORTER ON TV: It's a landslide!cdat
It's early, but we're calling it right now.cdat
Charles Ellis has won the election.cdat
cdat So much for having a few hours to find him.cdatcdat
Charles Ellis and Jackson Clevelandcdat
will be giving their acceptance speechescdt
live in a matter of moments from their headquarterscdat
at the Georgetown Potomac Hotel.cdat
Dad, we need to find him.cdat
Yes, and we need to find the assailant right now.cdat
Everybody fan out.cdat
cdatcdat Okay, Jackson, smile. Act natural.cdat
cdat Introduce the presidentt
First, I'd like to say to Mr. English,cdat
my high school guidance counselorcdat
who told me I'd never amount to anything,cdat
ding dong, you're wrong.cdat
I'm the vice-president!cdat
cdatcdat But anyway...cdat
It's been a long election season,cdat
and we fought hard to win this election.cdat
But let's not forget the real winners of this election.cdat
cdat Thank you for making this country a wonderful...cdt
I've got eyes on Erica. I'm taking her out.cdat
cdat Don't move, Erica. I've got you.cdatcdat
( Southern accent ) Erica? I don't know to whom you are referringt
cdat Drop the phony Southern accent.cdat
You're not fooling anybody.cdat
You're not the belle of this ball.cdat
cdatcdat The real winners are the American people.cdat
( Cleveland continues indistinctly )cdat
cdatcdat I made plenty of speeches during this election.cdat
- Election. - Election, election, election, election.cdat
Election, election, election, election, election,ct
Election, election, election, election, election, electionct
cdatcdat ( bones cracking )cdat
It's time to bring out President Ellis,cdat
the winner of the election!cdat
ERNIE: Election.cdat
I gotta pee!cdat
cdatcdat Hey, Uncle Craig.cdat
cdatcdat Craig, are you okay?cdat
We gotta go get Abby and Ericat
You go get the head of the Other Side.t
The head of the Other Side was just in this room.cdat
Come on, where is he?cdat
Somebody had to see something.cdat
The head of the Other Side just knocked me out.cdat
- He went that way. - Thanks. Let's go.cdat
cdatcdat Where are they?cdat
( boat speeding off )cdat
They're getting away! Now what are we gonna do?cdat
Ship-to-shore. Wanna get in, Mom?cdat
Okay.cdat
cdatcdat This is Agent 8780223 of the Organization,cdat
requesting backup from the Coast Guard.cdat
We're right behind you, and we're catching up.cdat
cdat I cannot understand this girl.ct
In a car, she was driving ten miles an hour,cdat
but in a boat, she's halfway across the Potomac.cdat
I hope for your sake, you're wearing life vests.cdat
cdatcdat Mom, what are we supposed to do now?cdat
Let the Coast Guard get 'em.cdat
We don't have our weapons. There's nothing we can dot
We can't let 'em get away that easy.cdat
Look, you grab hold of the helm.cdat
- I've got an idea. - Okay.cdat
- You got it? - Yeah. Got it.cdat
cdatcdat - Come on, KC. - I got it.cdat
cdatcdat You missed!cdat
cdat ( Abby laughing )cdatcdat
cdatcdat Well, looks like they won't be joining uscdat
for Thanksgiving this year.cdt
Well, I guess now that I've saved the president's life,cdt
you'd like to know that you do respect me.cdat
No. If it wasn't for you,cdat
my dad would be president.cdat
Uh, Dad, am I still in chargecdatcdat
- of keeping Colin safe? - No, you're done.cdat
Good, 'cause I'm about to kick your obnoxious little butt.cdt
cdaWell, now that Ernie and I have been de-programmed,cdat
for my first official act as vice-president,cdat
I would like to declare this Cooper Day.cdat
- Can you do that? - No, but I'd like to.cdat
cdat - Thanks for everything, Craig. - No problem.cdatcdat
And congratulations, Coopers, for finally revealingcdat
cdat the leader of the Other Sidet
Now all we have to do is find him and capture himt
Okay, that sounds like a lot more workcdat
now that I said it out loud.ct
cdat You okay, KCt
Yeah, it's just...cdat
I just wish that I didn't have to...cdat
They're still our family.cdat
Honey, you didn't have a choice.cdat
You did what you had to do.t
Any one of us would have done the same thing.cdat
cdatcdat I got you.cdat
cdat Thanks, Daddy.ct
Now to get those Coopers.cdat
All in due time, honey.cdat
We're playing the long game now.cdat
We got bigger fish to fry.cdt
I have a long list of people who could still make our plan work.t
Believe me, this is far from over.cdat
Baby, you are so good at being bad.cdat
cdat You know I am.cdat
cdat Ew, gross!ct